#i actually started this at the beginning of december but - it took so long bc i was at a loss for words ><< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[greasegotahold]

Lots of debate on the timeline of events in the outsiders and ages fitting into that, but according to Hinton Pony was born July 22, and he'd been 14 for about a month (line in the movie) when the main events kick off. That would put the murder during late August, which is exactly when that schoolyear would be starting. They only hide out for 5 days, which would put them at early September when they end up back home.

The rumble, Johnny's death, Dally's death, and Pony's concussion fainting happens the night after they get home.

Ponyboy comes to after 3 days, then ends up on bedrest for another week, where he displays delusional thought.

The Juvenile Court hearing presumably occurs shortly after that bedrest, as Pony is still not considered fit to testify on the murder, placing it squarely into the month of September.

It's not super clear how long the depressive episode lasts for Pony, but it's long enough that he is failing his classes and Syme is offering to bring him up to a C. Recalling my high school days, overall grades for fall semester were usually evident by like mid October, so I would give Pony 2-3 weeks, maybe a full month before Syme reaches out.

However, we also know Pony was procrastinating on his assignment, it's part of Darry's nagging iirc, so that + the theme being a final project for the semester, it was probably due mid-late November/maaaayyybe early December.

This is where ages come in bc some of the ages we have from the TV Show Bible don't align with the story's events happening in August.

However.

We know that we are reading Ponyboy's theme. It ends cyclical to the beginning, and there's also evident effort on Ponyboy's end to avoid writing profanity into his recollection. He's 14, been to Hell and back, and also procrastinated on his essay. That is to say, I'd believe it if the argument was made that for some of the surviving characters, he just mentioned how old they were at the time of writing.

Side note, too, that the musical does corroborate the main events happening in late August imo, as it explicitly ties the Curtis Parents' deaths to Darry's birthday; Darry was born January 5, and they died 8 months before the story took place; 8 months from January is obviously September, technically. However. Looking at the calendar year for 1967 (the musical is bumped up 2 years), Darry's birthday fell on the first Thursday of January. If Pony's birthday is July 22nd and it's been a month (not confirmed in the musical to have been a month, but confirmed that he would be 15 next July), the Friday Night Drive-In encounter would have been August 25 (literally the first week of school), 7 months and 3 weeks after the crash; technically not 8 months, but extremely close. If we want to push it closer and move the events a week later, then the drive in would have happened September 1.

In conclusion, my proposed book timeline, cross-referenced with calendars and given school start dates:

Tuesday, January 5, 1965—Darry's Birthday, potentially also the death of Curtis Parents

Thursday, July 22, 1965—Ponyboy's 14th birthday

Thursday, August 26, 1965—Pony gets jumped

Friday, August 27, 1965—Pony goes to the drive-in, Johnny kills Bob (technically this happens in the wee hours of Saturday, but the jumping that led to it was a consequence of the drive in so I'm lumping them)

Saturday, August 28-Wednesday, September 1, 1965— (technically the actual time of Bob's murder) + Windrixville hideout + fire + Hospital reunion

Thursday, September 2, 1965—Rumble + Johnny's death + Dally's Death + Pony's concussion

Friday, September 3-Sunday, September 5, 1965—Pony in feverish delirium

Monday, September 6-Sunday, September 12, 1965—Pony on Bedrest

Monday, September 13, 1965—Juvenile Court

Tuesday, September 14, 1965-Depressive fugue begins

Monday, October 11 or 18, 1965—Mr Syme alerts Ponyboy of his failing grade+presents semester's final project in the form of a personal theme.

Mid November, 1965—theme is written

[asteroidzzzn]

dance, baby!

pairing: dancer!reader x soccer!ellie

warnings: cursing, reader is delulu and very anxious

word count: 1.6k

a/n: fear not this is definitely not a self insert bc im a dancer whattttttt lol... first fic im posting to tumblr im nervous!

summary: show days were always nerve-racking no matter what. the chaos backstage, constant injuries, and pressure to impress your instructors. it definitely didn't ease your nerves to see that ellie williams had showed up, and was sitting in the front row.

༊*·˚

while the techies adjusted the lighting in the box, you and your friends peeked through the curtains at the murmuring audience beginning to take their seats.

"oh my god, almost all the seats are full!" your friend whispered beside you.

"yeah..." you trailed off, scanning the audience for familiar faces. you giggled when jade pointed out your math teacher in the third row, and your history teacher in the fifth who had brought his two daughters.

you fell silent when your gaze fell to the first row, near the dead center of the stage. ellie williams. she told you she would be sure to come see you dance, but you didn't expect her to actually follow through.

jade poked your side when she noticed your expression.

"hey, you ok? i know it's a lot of people watching but we'll do great."

"i'm fine," you backed away from the curtains. "we should start warming up." she agreed and followed you to the green room. as you walked, your mind wandered to the last time you saw ellie.

ellie made herself comfortable by immediately falling to your bed one the two of you arrived. as you took out your chromebook and notes to begin working on your project, she studied your room.

"sorry it's a bit messy, i didn't plan to have anyone over," you softly spoke up, slightly embarrassed that a girl you just met saw the clutter in your room. especially a pretty girl.

"dude if you think this is messy, you should see mine," she snickered. suddenly her eyebrows raised at the sight of your trophies, medals, and plaques presented on the top of your dresser.

"woah, what's all that for?"

"oh, they're all from dance," you shrugged.

"no way, this one has your name inscribed on it! that's so cool."

you smiled at how amused she was. it was cute.

"are you in the shows the school does? "

you nodded and pushed your chromebook screen slightly down, finding talking to her already more interesting than the project you were supposed to be working on.

"there's a show coming up soon, actually. i'm pretty nervous. we're going all the way to the rose."

her head tilted to the side, as if to ask what that was. you explained the theatre's significance, and whatever more she asked after that. within thirty minutes, she knew all the drama between the dance team, and basically your whole backstory regarding dancing.

she gushed about soccer, and you both found you were unexpectedly very similar. extremely dedicated to your crafts, having the best friends on the best teams, and the shittiest coaches in the universe.

your schoolwork was long forgotten at the foot of the bed as you two laid on your backs staring at the ceiling lit up by glowing star stickers.

"so, your shows this weekend?"

"yeah."

"what's it about."

"ellie, it's december, and this is a dance show. think very carefully."

"umm, christmas themed?"

you laughed, "it's the nutcracker."

"that seems awesome. are you the main girl? y'know, the one that cracks the nuts."

she giggled at her choice of words while you rolled your eyes.

"no, it's always the same girl every year. i'm in the russian, snow, and rats."

she slapped the bed with a gasp and sat up. "oh my god. now i have to see it. you jumping around in a rat costume will be hilarious."

your hands covered your face as you laughed, "no, you can't go see it! that's embarrassing."

"i'll be front row recording. and i'll give money to your dance team, so you should be happy."

"ugh, i'm gonna kill myself," you attempt to sound upset at what you thought was an empty promise, but you can't seem to chase away the smile that appears whenever she speaks.

to be honest, you couldn't understand why you were so nervous. ellie was just another one of your friends at your show. nothing more. just a friend that you had talked to once. that paid $25 to see you dance. and drove 40 minutes to a fancy theatre.

you groaned. i'm so delusional, you thought. everything is fine.

you only danced in the second act, so you decided to sit backstage and read a book to pass the time.

as you lounged on a prop couch, you heard a shriek coming from the wings. you placed your book down and cautiously entered sidestage, and a small crowd started to trickle in.

your heart dropped when you saw jade wincing and sobbing while clutching her ankle. your instructor barged in behind you, shoving past the group of worried girls surrounding jade. the show was only on the party scene, where jade—who played fritz and many other important roles in the show—just ran off.

"what is going on here?" she hissed, grabbing jade and pulling her into the green room.

jade sniffled as she stumbled through the door. "i twisted my ankle...i'm sorry."

the instructor sighed, attempting to release some tension.

"don't apologize, it happens. but who will be fritz for the rest of the show? you're also the lead for russian, so you need to get to teaching one of your friends your choreography and quick."

jade nodded rapidly.

you were both terrified and honored that you were her first choice as an understudy.

jade hugged you one final time in the wings before your cue.

"you're gonna do amazing," she whispered in your ear, rubbing your back soothingly. she pulled away and squeezed your shaking hands.

"you know this. you're the fastest learner i know. go out there and kill it."

you shut your eyes and exhaled. you nodded and turned away, prepping to run onto stage.

the overhead light turned purple. yellow. white. you were on stage. it was thrilling. horrifying. the lights blinded you as you kept your eyes as far away from the audience as possible. as far away from her as possible.

but you couldn't resist. you desperately needed to know what ellie looked like as she watched you.

her eyes sparkled under the lights. she was dangerously close to you, leaning forward in her seat, which allowed you to catch a glimpse at the hint of a smile. she seemed utterly entranced by you.

but, you allowed yourself to look for a second too long. as you attempted to rise onto the top of your box to finish off the last set of turns in the dance, the stage failed you. your foot slipped out from underneath you and you came tumbling down, landing on your back.

you swiftly rose up, placed your arms in the ending position, propped one knee up, and gave the audience a smile, as if it was the plan all along to end up on the floor.

you rushed side stage after curtsying a final time, and your lungs felt as if they were on fire. tears stained your perfectly made-up face, and your head spun.

it was extremely embarrassing that the only thought on your mind at the time was about ellie.

you needed fresh air.

the halls were crowded with dancers rushing towards the lobbies to greet their loved ones that came to watch. you pushed through the people and pried the back door open.

you let out a huge sigh of relief as the cold wind hit your face. you slowly sunk to the concrete and rested your head on your knees, attempting to take deep breaths.

after about ten minutes of intermission had passed, you shot up, realizing you almost fell asleep. the past few hours were packed with so much stress it had you completely exhausted.

you pressed your hands on the floor and stood up, reaching for the door back into the dressing room. you paused when you saw someone peek around the corner of the brick wall.

you froze when you saw ellie cautiously step into the breezeway, holding something in her hands. oh my god. did she get flowers?

your mind rushed with questions and thoughts, simply staring at her now standing in front of you, flowers in hand.

you decided on, "those for me?"

ellie chuckled nervously.

"yeah, i saw everyone else getting them, so i figured i would too. they were pretty cheap and they're the same color as your tutu..." she gestured between the blue flowers and your costume, "i thought you'd like them. i know it's only the middle of the show, so it's actually kinda weird, i guess, but..." she appeared unsure of herself as she spoke. you hoped she could see the harsh blush that suddenly grew on your cheeks as a sign that you loved them.

"i- wow, thank you. trust me i don't think it's weird. i didn't even expect you to show up, to be honest..." you grabbed the flowers and began fidgeting with the petals.

"well i'm glad i did. it's really cool. and the snow part was beautiful."

you scoffed. "yeah, i'm sure i was the most gorgeous dancer on stage with that graceful landing."

she frowned when you quickly wiped your eyes. "you're really hard on yourself, i thought it was still great. and you pulled it off better than i ever could've."

you tilted your head down to hide the smile growing on your face, leaving a slight pause. "i should head back now, i'm sure my friend jade wants to see me."

she nodded and stepped back, swaying on her feet. "yeah, yeah... i'll... see you later, good luck." she began walking to the front of the auditorium.

"thank you again, ellie," you called out to her before disappearing behind the metal door.

as soon as you entered the dressing room, your back pressed against the door, hands clutching the small bouquet, and heart racing.

what was that!?

༊*·˚

a/n: aw they're awkward everyone point and laugh! this was supposed to be a one shot, but i got carried away, so part 2 soon! any feedback is greatly appreciated (*^▽^*) also fun fact this whole thing is based on how my friend got asked out by their now gf, how adorable i love them. for reference, i imagine ellie and reader in this as 15,16,17 ish so in high school, but u can picture whatever floats ur boat, it's just a more innocent and lighthearted little story (✿◠‿◠)

[wallpaper-inside-my-heart]

💛Smoshblr December Asks Final Day💙

IMPORTANT NOTES (that I forgot to include in todays ask):

If you aren't done with answering all your questions yet, but want to; then don't feel any pressure to do this today 🤗 Just bc it says december on the tin, doesn't mean I will appreciate getting your answer any less, if it's in late january or smth 🫶

also: I promise I will get around to looking at & interacting with everyone's responses! I promise I did not forget about you, I have just been/still am incredibly busy irl 🙈

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Alright, buckle in folks, this is a long one 😅✨

(Split into three parts like the other asks; No pressure to any of you to do the same tho, I just really like this format and it suited my thoughts/organizing needs)

My favourite smosh related memories of 2023 (chronologically):

Tldr:

1.) Joining the smoshblr community 💚

2.) Spommy nation 💜

3.) Smoshblr December Asks 💛💙

now for anyone who is interested in me rambling way too much:

Joining the Smoshblr community 💚

I got into smosh at the start of this year bc of the Reddit stories videos (I watched a couple smosh vids over the years before, but never consistently followed their releases). They became smth I looked forward to every week and lead me to check out more smosh videos in general! I also remember checking the tumblr tag for smosh back then and being a little disappointed, that the fandom was fairly inactive, barring a few exceptions <3

And then the reunion happened and it took me like 3 whole days or so to actually realizewhat went down 🙈. Bc I saw the thumbnails for the interview and the 2t1l vids and was just like “Aww, it’s so nice that they are friends again and doing a collab! 😊 (I’ll watch these later tho…)” Little did I know that finally watching them would turn my year around in a way that I could have never seen coming!

Suddenly the Smoshblr community exploded with activity and so so many lovely ppl joined and started sharing their thoughts and feelings about the reunion. And while I wasn’t an OG fan by any stretch, it really felt like there was magic in the air/ on this platform! 😹💕

I’ve been into fandom for more than half of my life by now. But I’ve never really gotten “personally” involved in any active communities. Just someone hovering on the sidelines and simply liking & reblogging stuff from time to time.

But with this community smth just started to click for me and made me to get “more out of my shell” or whatever idioms might apply here. And this allowed me to meet so many awesome people!! 💖 Special shoutout to @wiggog-y-hecox 💜, who was literally my first friend in this community! I still so fondly remember our talks about your cool smosh AU concepts! 🤗💙 And also to @swiftllama 🩵 for discussing so many taylor swift lyrics and ianthony with me (+occasionally good omens too 😹💕) And also @japhan2023! 💚 I know we’ve been chatting on and off since the beginning, but I am also so so happy that this month in particular allowed us to grow even closer!

2. Spommy nation 💜

So we’re moving into the middle/end of summer now on the timeline for this one. I was in the middle of writing my bachelor thesis and really going through it mentally bc of that. Getting deeper and deeper into the Smoshblr community also lead me to check out more smosh fanfics in general. Which is how I discovered the fic the right side of my neck (still smells like you) - jovenshires (imdeansgirl) - Smosh [Archive of Our Own] by our beloved @jovenshires 🩷.

Now I’ve told Katie <3 this story before so I’ll keep it brief here; but basically smth about this fic was incredibly comforting to my overworked brain. And I’ve reread it more times that I’ve ever read a fanfic in my life before that. And I truly think it has forever changed my brain chemistry, and also made me very attached to this ship (aside from the fact, that spommy is genuinely such an amazingly adorable ship with incredible amounts of potential, like!! I don’t wanna downplay that bc of the chemical reactions in my brain around that time 🙈) Some more stuff happened which eventually lead me to become friends with Katie, who is truly one of the ppl I treasure the most in the world at this point 💖

But I also wanted to mention Spommy nation as a whole, bc this subsection of the fandom is filled with so many kind, creative and just generally amazing people!And I also just love all of us freaking out whenever we get new crumbs for this ship lmao 😹💕

Special shoutouts to @soupy-girl 💛, Kit! @hoohoobeanie 🖤, Mer!!! @tommybowefuneralattendee 💜, @ancientvamp 🤍 & Snel @blondeforyou 💙 for being some of spommy’s nations strongest soldiers 🫡 and also absolutely lovely and incredible people in general, who I adore so so much🫶🥰

3. Smoshblr December asks 💛💙

I doubt anyone didn’t see this coming 🙈😹

So, I had been meaning to do smth inspired by the “Shayne guesses” series for a while now (also the fact that the official smosh compilation of those vids dropped this week, near the end of this challenge, is so funny to me for some reason). But I never quite figured out how to do it, since I knew guessing for eachother would be difficult. And if I just started randomly messaging all the blogs I’ve followed with an onslaught of these questions, it might get a bit weird or overwhelming 😅…

⚠️slight too personal ramblings ahead, that I don’t wanna force on anyone without warning⚠️

And then, towards the end of November, I gotta be honest, I was really not doing well, especially mentally. (First masters semester and I was still sorta dealing with the damage I caused to my brain while writing the thesis and barely getting two weeks between defending it and starting the new semester to truly recover from it all) And I knew december would get worse, bc I still hadn’t finished all the Christmas presents for my family, assignments were piling up & I kept on catching way too little sleep.

So all of these stressful thoughts made me think “You know, a lot of other ppl are probably struggling with similar stuff rn, especially during these dark & cold times of the year. So why not try to do smth that might bring some joy or fun into other ppl’s lives?” And that’s how I literally typed up that initial post, two days before December started without having planned it for more than a literal day or so 🙈😹 (I did already have a long list of questions, bc I started doing the top 3 stuff in my friendgroup, but rearranging everything to fit the sorta 3-day cycle I wanted to do, still happened up until last week lmao; tho I always knew that this would be the last question <3)

(end of rambling ⚠️)

And I was genuinely, positively overwhelmed by how many people wanted to join in for this silly little game!🥹 I love and appreciate all of you, whether you stuck around for the whole month, might still be catching up on some of the questions (which, no worries, I know there were a lot 🤗) or just answered a few of them! 🤗💖 And as I am currently fighting the urge to tag every single person who participated in this activity, I cannot help myself but atthe very least tag the ppl that I feel like I have grown closest to/gotten to know a hell of a lot better, over the course of this month (some of which I may have known/followed for a while now, but some I also got to know mainly bc of them joining in on this journey with me in the first place: @ceilidhasworld ❤️, @fantasticduckchaos 🩶, @notthatalex 🖤, @natashasbitxh 🧡, @shaynetopps 💜,  @only-frann 💛, @smoshmonker 💚, @smoshidiot 🩷, @craintheodora 🩵, and so so many more of you guys! I just don’t want this entire post to become a taglist or send this to too many ppls notifications 🙈🫶

Note:

I know that I am super behind on interacting with everyone's responses! 🙈 And I promise that I will get to each of them eventually! 🤗 I am just super busy with assignments and exam prep atm. And also get very easily overwhelmed by talking a lot to people, even if it's just online 😅 (I love and appreciate ppl reaching out, asking questions or otherwise trying to have a conversation with me tho! It might just take me a good while to respond in some cases, which I promise has nothing to do with how much I value any of you 🥹🫶💞)

PS: The month might be over, but I do have something special planned in honor of this event and everyone participating in it 👀🫶

💚 Smoshblr December Wrapped 💚

[sailxrmxrs]

took a little break from writing to recharge the brain but expect some fun christmas content now that december is upon us. before the fesitivities begin, however, let's give alexei a little moment to shine bc i haven't actually written a solo fic for him yet. today we change that. now everyone's beloved science boy is for SURE the type to overwork himself and not realise until he gets sick so who else should take care of him other than mc <3 also bc a sleepy alexei is adorable. enjoy the alexei softness gamers! also maybe opening requests again for some inspo hehe. fantasy rory coming to a tumblr near u too soon <3

Being roommates with Alexei meant a lot of late nights after work, sharing food you'd ordered in because neither of you had the energy to cook. A pleasant routine had settled and you couldn't really fathom a time before this close friendship with Alexei. However, something that set you both apart was the ability to relax. Where you valued your time at home away from work, letting your brain rest and indulge in comforts and hobbies, Alexei did not. Even when the two of you would watch a new show together, or go out for food, Alexei was always thinking about work. If he could, he'd stay in the lab working long into the night, only stopping when you physically dragged him away from his current projects. His late nights combined with his early morning starts meant it was inevitable he'd get sick. Despite his determination to prove otherwise, Alexei was only human. And that meant his repeated late nights would soon catch up on him and render him useless to his own immune system.

It only took a few more days for Alexei's inevitable fate to strike. You were cleaning up the kitchen from your breakfast, the tv providing background noise, when you heard Alexei's door open. Dark circles ringed his eyes as he slowly trudged out of his room, a blanket wrapped around him and his cheeks flushed feverishly.

"Uh oh. Someone's sick," you observed, taking a bite of toast as you watched him collapse on the sofa. "Told you to rest more."

Alexei answered with a groan, his energy levels too low to offer any sort of intelligent response. He burrowed deeper into the cushions, tugging the blanket around his shoulders for extra warmth. Despite it being a result of his own blindsided eagerness to work, you couldn't help but feel sorry for him. Alexei was usually a bright little ray of sunshine in the mornings so to see him look so defeated made your heart sink. Luckily for Alexei, today was a day off for you. Initially, you'd planned to spend it running a couple necessary errands before hibernating away in cosy clothes in your room but some adjustments could be made for Alexei.

"Instead of moping over there, you should get yourself back into bed. Can you manage any food right now or do you just want to sleep it off?"

Alexei contemplated his options for a moment before he begrudgingly pulled himself up off the sofa. "Sleep. Food later."

"Got it. Still, you should drink some fluids first. I'll grab you some water and a spare blanket from my room." By the time you'd gotten Alexei a glass of water and retrieved the blanket in question, he was already fast asleep. His body was so exhausted that he'd collapsed before even getting himself fully into bed. You left the glass on his bedside table, pulling the covers and blankets over him so that he would stay nice and warm as his body caught up on all the sleep it had missed. You pulled the curtains taut and quietly closed the door as you left. Judging from the gentle snores coming from Alexei, he wouldn't be waking up anytime before noon which meant you had a couple hours to run out for some ingredients to make him the perfect comfort meal. It wasn't often that you got to cook for Alexei so you weren't intending on letting this opportunity slip you by. Especially because you knew that in a few hours once Alexei was fully rested, he'd be aching to get up and go about his day like normal despite the strain on his body. Getting him to relax might just be the hardest task you've ever set to accomplish.

Once you'd returned home and got to work on Alexei's food, the real work begun. As you'd suspected, the moment Alexei woke up he made the executive decision to get out of bed again and join you in the kitchen, claiming to be all better now. Of course, this wasn't true in the slighest but there was little you could do for the moment so you let him sit and watch you finish preparing the ingredients.

"As soon as this is all in the pot simmering away I'm putting you back into bed, you know that, right?"

"I already slept I'm fine. Besides I have a report to finish for Monday," Alexei complained as he reluctantly drank sips of water while you glared directly at him.

"Were my ears deceiving me or are you seriously talking about work when you are sick. From overworking and not sleeping. Alexei Demidov I swear you are going to be the death of me." You halted your actions, a half-chopped carrot under your hands momentarily abandoned while you scolded Alexei.

"I'm not sick or overworked. I was just a little tired. Which I'm not anymore."

"Sure. Is that why when I checked your temperature earlier you had a fever? Because you are in perfect health? And don't even get me started on the overworking. I've never met someone more willing to work overtime."

Alexei puffed his cheeks in defeat, knowing that as a scientist himself he couldn't refute the evidence of his high temperature. "Enjoying your job is hardly a crime."

"True, but you can always have too much of a good thing. Perhaps this is the ideal experiment into why rest and relaxation is vital to one's physical wellbeing."

"Perhaps." Alexei sipped at his water, watching as you went about the kitchen clearing up the utensils you no longer needed now that everything was cooking. He quietly observed, only responding with little nods and short answers to your questions about the food. Having food prepared specially for him was a new feeling for Alexei, and it was one he rather enjoyed. He liked the closeness of seeing the process but found the gesture of you going to such lengths to look after him even more comforting. Even if he didn't believe he needed such treatment, he would have been lying if he said he hated it. To be doted on like this was incredibly rare so maybe it wouldn't be so bad to let you continue treating him like this? After all, he did have a slight fever—even if he didn't feel ill himself.

By the time his food had finished cooking, you were already ushering Alexei to either get back into his bed with the pillows propped up or onto the sofa where you'd drag his duvet and blankets. He opted for the sofa as he clutched the warm bowl in his hands and took a first bite. His eyes closed in satisfaction, the heat spreading through every inch of his body.

"You better not get any ideas of working even more because you won't be getting this sort of treatment next time," you commented, tossing the bundle of blankets beside Alexei so as not to spill any of his food. "Special treatment only for people who deserve it."

Alexei took another bite before answering. "You really think I'd do that?"

"Hm, maybe not on purpose, but yes. Anything for some more of my cooking," you teased, falling back onto the other end of the sofa, tucking your feet under one of the blankets.

"Never knew you could cook this good. I might need a lesson or two from you."

You'd gotten yourself a bowl of food to enjoy with Alexei, knowing the comfort meal was exactly what you needed after a long week of work. "Don't get excited, this is one of very few recipes I've mastered. Mostly because I made it all the time as a student when it got cold."

"Still, I appreciate it. Thank you." Alexei smiled, his cheeks still flushed with fever, but looking a lot more rejuvenated than they had been earlier in the morning. After he finished eating, Alexei got himself comfortable under the covers again, swearing he wasn't about to fall asleep. He was just getting cosy. Until you looked over ten minutes later and saw that same sleep-induced calmness cover his features. His lips were curled in the slightest of smiles and his hair tumbled over his eyes. A bemused grin covered your features as you rose from your seat to check up on him. His temperature had almost returned to normal but there was no need to disturb him now. So instead, you brushed the hair from his forehead, leaving a soft kiss in your wake before leaving him to sleep the rest of his fever away. But before you could go, a hand reached for your arm and weakly tugged. Alexei was still mostly asleep, the last remnants of his consciousness encouraging you to join him. What kind of person would you be to refuse such a sweet request? So you managed to balance yourself beside him, the blankets sufficently covering you both before sleep called out and lulled you into its grasp.

[nihiltism]

since ive been too College to have enough art for any sort of summary im just gonna put a general year end rundown of what i feel i did best on this year!!

i think every year since i figured out that i dont need to use pens to line has just gotten better art wise for me. FUCK lining. pencils are my best friends forever and ever and can do your job better than you ever could. anyway apologies for some of these drawings being crunchier than others, i only recently got a scanner and Cannot be assed to scan my old art for this post rn.

also the first art here is a hatoful boyfriend spoiler. i mean i guess the last one is too but its vaguer i think. anyway. none of these are actually analyses of what i learned with each art im just braining

april 5th-

you guys know this one i REALLY like it. why in the goddamn were my best pieces this year hatoful boyfriend. anyway i uh. hey did you know that i didnt do the notgeki with graphite because i like mixed media. i did it because i have not owned a grey pencil for my some-teen years of drawing ever. i only JUST got a grey pencil like. a couple months ago. i mean im good with graphite i would have done it like that anyway but. yeah. anyway this was abt the height of my beginning hatoful fix and Also indirectly what got me to meet like a bunch of my mutuals here!! i did. not know there was a hatoful community. and because That i actually started using tumblr so!! hey thanks hitori. i need to do more birdform art.

april 15th -

this motherfucker! ill be. completely honest i dont have a lot of feedback for a lot of my graphite art bc ive Been doing this. ok actually yknow what i will say. there is a limit for how dark something can be with graphite and i Very much remember going over the inside of the cloak So Much. this was my pet project during my weekly 3 hour long lecture so god bless it. also i do still like how i did the eye. can i draw eye guys exclusively please.

july 3rd -

not really Art im proud of but!! holy shit i dont design often and i dont hate this!! this is at least in part thanks to my gf. my gf knows how to clothes better than i do so i did ask them for help. also i really need to scan this one. or maybe draw her a new ref. anyway (holds up celine) look at her. look at the silly.

september 6th -

this one was a trade for my friend raicatty and. also something i probably should have scanned. but its fine. anyway this one did teach me something and its To Line Your Damn Pieces Darker. lining with the color that youre going to be coloring in is kind of Asking For Disaster if it overlaps with others and u can. see that. this is a bit imparseable. but its also pretty. and thats all that really matters. a fun fact for when i ever do commissions is that being allowed to use this purpley pink pencil i have will make me really happy. its so pretty.

OERSHRIMP INTERLUDE

OERSHRIMP INTERLUDE

november 13 -

forgive me for including a sketch in this but YOU DONT UNDERSTAND IVE NEVER BEEN ABLE TO DRAW HUMANS. like. NEVER. much less in an actual decent pose. (god bless adorkastock) im So very delighted by this oboromaru and hes!! like!! one of my least favorite characters!! (not to say i dislike him hes just lower). i dont know what happened here!! if this wasnt at the very back of my Sketchbook I Just Put Away Because It Was Falling Apart id say id finish this one later. rip. he and that dark daroach sketch i had there can just vibe i guess.

aaand the big one. december 8th -

things i learned from this one! 1. the scanner did not pick up the red lines very well! 2. scanners are good! 3: NEVER do a full page project again! buuut i do want to say i am like. insanely proud of this one. its the first art ive done i can really say has any sort of Composition and im so delighted that it turned out just as cool as it looked in my head. also this took forever and i could have easily messed it up Multiple times in the process. so god bless.

[galacticlamps]

I was tagged by @terryfphanatics​ (thanks! sorry I took forever - I started answering these & didn’t finish and just remembered it was in my drafts)

What book are you currently reading?

The Two Towers! which upsets me bc I’ve been at it since August (technically - I wasn’t ‘at it’ in, uh, October, November, December, January, or February, for lack of time - but I’m back at it now, and I even convinced myself to start over from the beginning so I didn’t forget anything)

What's your favourite movie you saw in a cinema this year?

sorry but the last time I went to a movie theater was probably in 2017, 2018 at the latest, so... yeah I’ve got nothing

What do you usually wear?

jeans, boots, at this point in the winter usually some combination of flannels, sweaters and/or sweatshirts. (I’ve been really cold lately)

How tall are you?

5′6″ ish

What's your star sign?

capricorn

Do you share your birthday with a celebrity or historical event?

I do, yeah

Do you go by your name or a nickname?

mostly nicknames, I have quite a few at this point. I’ve yet to pick one to use on here, I should probably do that soon, I’ve been meaning to for years now

Did you grow up to be what you wanted to be as a child?

I don’t recall ever wanting to be anything in particular as a child, honestly, but I can say that so far I’ve pretty much stuck to the career path that first caught my interest in high school, if that counts

Are you in a relationship? Who is your crush if not?

nope! and it’s been a very long time since I’ve had a serious crush either, which I’m honestly grateful for. I wouldn’t want to be in a relationship at this exact point in my life anyway, so I’m just gonna keep vaguely admiring every funny girl who’s kind to me for the time being without actually developing feelings for her. I hope It seems to be going well so far mostly

What's something you're good at versus something you're bad at?

(I’m trying to think of two that relate to each other)

I am very good at drawing objects and not at all good at drawing people! technical plans are something I’ve dealt with extensively both academically & professionally, but in the more general sense I’ve always been an ‘I can’t draw’ person. tbh I should find some of those artists who complain about backgrounds and just do all their architecture etc for them

Dogs or cats?

nothing against dogs but cats for sure, always cats

What's something you'd like to create content for?

not to sound like a jerk, but I work in the arts industry & really hate the place ‘content creation’ has come to occupy in everyone’s vocabulary, even though I totally realize that in a context like this it’s probably just trying to be a vague enough term to be inclusive of the many different things people can create. I like writing the fanfic that I do, so without switching subjects, I would like to get better at drawing people because sometimes I have ideas that would be better expressed as images or even short comics

What's something you're currently obsessed with?

Obsessing over 60s who is my baseline so I don’t think that counts - but it’s been almost a month since I watched Holding Achilles & there have only been hours when I didn’t think of it, not entire days

What's something you were excited about that turned out to be disappointing this year?

Ngl, (& not to be a total downer, but) the last 12 months-ish have been an extremely busy/hectic/unpredictable year for me, with both the good & the bad stuff coming out of left field most of the time. So while there were certainly more than enough disappointments, for the most part, they weren’t the kinds of things you could be excited about beforehand (relatives dying, people fighting, strained relationships, illnesses, work stuff in a perpetual state of flux - or as I’ve taken to calling it: death disease & dubious employment). I suppose there were a lot of events I wanted to make it to that I didn’t, due to the aforementioned junk, and I certainly imagined myself getting to read more books & write more fics than I did, but that doesn’t feel like a good specific answer.

What's a hidden talent of yours?

I suppose that depends who you ask? There are lots of work or work-adjacent skills I could name that would be news to people on here, but those are such prominent parts of my life otherwise that they definitely don’t feel ‘hidden.’ But I guess even among people who expect me to be handy/crafty, more overtly artistic things tend to surprise them - like I’ve had people forget that I was the one who painted something, for instance, because that’s not the kind of skill most associate with me. (and I am very good with color & pigment tbh)

Are you religious?

nah. I’m not like, a committed atheist or anything either, I just grew up catholic & don’t go in for that anymore, nor do I have any desire to go seek out another faith

What's something you wish to have at this moment?

time uh, let’s say a haircut

tagging people kinda seems rude after taking multiple months to come up with so many kind of non-answers oops, but if anyone would like to copy the questions, either as an opportunity to do a little q&a or an excuse to tag/ask your friends, be my guest

[bbboar]

@boogerwookiesugarcookie asked me to answer ALL of the end of year asks so here we go! Thanks Naja!

Going to put it under a readmore bcs long

1.Song of the year? Dream Girl Evil by Florence and the Machine So nice of Miss Florence to make a song thats not only a bop but also specifically the theme song for my oc Hydrangea

2.Album of the year? I don't listen to many full albums but for me it would have to be a tie between Give me the Future by Bastille and Impera by Ghost 3.Favorite musical artist / group you started listening to this year? Ghost 4.Movie of the year? Everything Everywhere All At Once! Like i don't even need to think about it. Unlike anything ive ever seen, so interesting and heartwearming. Excellent performances and costuming 5.TV show of the year? Oh man this one is touh bcs i had 3 shows ive been obsessed with this year…. Our Flag Means Death, Severance or Interview with the Vampire 6.Episode of tv or webisode that defined the year for you? Not defined the year but the best ep of anything ive seen this year was the the season finale ep of Severance. It was so excellent at keeping up the tension for the entirety of the ep. I was pacing and yelling and restless for the full length of it. Just amazing storytelling of everything coming to a head and the editing...my god!!!

7.Favorite actor of the year? I don't care that much about actors to have a fave of the year 8.Game of the year? I was a teenage exocolonist. Just finished my 4rth playthrough and i think i may have 2 more in me bc i want to see different outcomes/choices 9.Best month for you this year? Idk they sorta all blend into one? But December is when i have 2 weeks off work and also the weather is beautiful and sunny so im going to say that and not think about it too much.

10.Something that made you cry this year? A friend was never available to see me despite my multiple attempts to meet up and even though i didnt mind for a lot of it, eventually it started hurting my feelings. 11.Something you want to do again next year? Go on a mini vacation. I took a week off work to visit friends in Tasmania and i think i would be nice to visit some other place next year as well. 12.Talk about a new friend you made this year? I think we'd chatted a little on twitter and also possibly met irl once? But anyway yeah i formally met and befiended the partner of a friend and we rly got along! 13.How was your birthday this year? I went to this super expensive viking themed restaurant ive wanted to go to since 2019! Food, drinks, service, all excellent. I was dressed to the nines in my sequin dress and after i went for a little night walk around the city. It was gr8! 14.Favorite book you read this year? A nobleman's guide to scandals and shipwrecks by Mackenzi Lee. The Montague siblings series is such easy reading for me so i had a fun time! 15.What’s a bad habit you picked up this year? Forgetting to take my acne medication but i also took steps to prevent that so were good now 16.Post a picture from the beginning of the year Actually the first pic i took in 2022

17.Post a picture from the end of the year

Food from yesterday (27/12/22)

18.A memorable meal this year? Oh i already mentioned my birthday dinner so instead ill mention the brunch i made for my friends when i visited them in Tasmania.I was going to make eggs, bacon, homemade flatbread and some other stuff but my time management was off and it took me sooo long to make everything.In the end it was more like a lunch than brunch^^; But everyone was so patient with me and in the end the food was yummy and everyone liked it and we played dnd and had a great time :) 19.What’re you excited about for next year? Going to be getting a new phone and also....idk i havent made any big plans but i look forward to the little moments of joy and indulgence that will come. 20.What’s something you learned this year? Im sure theres life stuff i learned but what im psyched about is learning how to make scones. Its so freakin easy!!! 21.What’s something new about your place of residence (room, home, or general location) now vs the start of the year? After living here for about a year,i decided to finally put shit up on the walls of my room.Paintings and fairy lights and i plan on having a little colection of magpie prints too.It rly lifted my mood and brightened up the space. 22.Favorite place you visited this year? Oh man i was just stoked to visit Tasmania and see friends! I need to travel more bcs i love seeing new places. 23.If you could send a message to yourself back on the first day of the year, what would it be? Do not catastrophise when someone upsets you. Just sleep on it and then act. People sometimes are stupid and thoughtless,not secretly malicious. 24.Did you keep any New Year’s Resolutions? I usually have a few and some years i end up completing them, other years i dont. This year my only resolution is to comment on people's art more. Thats fucken it. 25.Did you create any characters (in games, art, or writing) this year? Describe one. Many actually bcs aside from various ocs, i run some trp games where i make 10+ npcs for. I guess one would be Winnie an npc i made for a game who i put so little thought in. Like i needed a character to fullfill a certain role so i recycled an old oc design and gave her like 2 personalty traits. Then though as we played, we all ended up liking her way more than id planned so anyway now she's in the queue to be an upcoming pc for a dnd campaign (with a slight redesign)

[iristial]

best of toku 2020

After finding a “best of toku” post I made in 2018, I decided to do one for 2020. Bear in mind that this year felt like forty years of desert wandering clumped together so my memory’s rather rusty (did I really finish OOO in linear order at the beginning of this year?)

best new show of 2020 - The stress of keeping up with recently airing shows got to me, but Kiramager was nice and sweet and features my fave - a disastrous deconstruction of the stoic archetype, Shiguru! I look forward to catching up with it next year

best new-to-you show of 2020 - I’m simply going to list every toku I watched and finished this year because each one has its virtue

OOO. It’s telling when you watch this out of order, think to yourself it’s the most well-written Neo-Heisei series, then watch it in linear order to find your opinion was factually correct. Very harmonious and tackles depth without going overboard or too grim. I can’t believe I watched this at the beginning of this year. Feels like eons ago

Fourze. Like OOO I watched this out of order over the years so nothing new popped out to me. However, I had the pleasant surprise of crying over acts of kindness, and while I thought it could’ve benefitted from exploring some elements in depth, the series is more about the infinite space that is youth; embracing yourself but also working hard to improve, and retaining faith

Ultraman Orb. Either someone recommended this to me or I searched it up because comparisons were made between Z Haruki and Gai Kurenai. Then I emerged in love with the latter. I’ve only completed two Ultraman series but Orb has left the strongest impression on me

Ultraman X. Next to Orb I found it quieter and lighter like cotton candy. The cast are such good-hearted folks; I love the armour attachments; and it has my favourite kaiju by far - Gomora. This darling deserves the world

Dekaranger. Suggested by @rikakobloomer for the characters. Proven correct as I loved observing everyone’s actions, responses, and the patterns to their focus episodes. The chemistry between each cast member was integral because there weren’t any blatant character bonding episodes (aside from the Tetsu ones), but when they proclaimed themselves as partners and friends - I wholeheartedly believed them

Den-O. Suggested by @quatresnuku for its popularity in fandom. I emerged out of the train wreck thoroughly confused and thoroughly entertained, filled with strong impressions, and with a new ship on the brain. Kobayashi knows her stuff indeed

Honorable mention to Kuuga, which I haven’t finished, because there’s a charm to discovering new facts alongside Godai (which is why I purposefully avoid going on the wiki)

best rewatch of 2020 - Zero One. Highlight the words “double rewatch”. I’m so fond of everything on a conceptual level, and seeing how everything tied together without a huge hiatus lodged in elevated some of my murkier opinions. Honorable mention to LuPato since it’s as amazing as I remember. No rose coloured glasses for you

best movie of 2020 - LuPato vs Ryusoulger because LuPato content, Episode Red appeals to the romantic in me, Reiwa: The First Generation had an amazing premise for the alternate world, and Dekaranger 10 Years After is how I want all Sentai tributes to be executed

best main lead character - Aruto. There’s a charm to him that compensated for the not-so-well-written bits, flaws and implications. I like a character who makes me smile over the big and little things, and retains his optimism in spite of all odds

best female character - Yua as my feelings went from borderline apathy to sheer adoration, and Umeko is sunshine incarnated

best male supporting character - Yuuto Sakurai (he probably shouldn’t count but it’s so hard for me to like secondaries; pettiness is good in this case), Deneb (hashtag best boy), Kintaros, Doggie Kruger (if anyone beats him - unless you’re Kagura Izumi - I’m obliged to think you’re cheating), Fourze JK (he had some engaging focus episodes I liked)

best female supporting character - Airi Nogami. I would drink coffee for her (and I don’t drink it, mind you)

best villain - metsuboujinrai.net. I stumbled upon a post I made when the first episode aired, citing Horobi as a “Kaito Kumon lookalike” and being off-put by Jin “the psycho villain”, and now I wonder how I would’ve taken my current obsession with a cult of villains. In my defense, they look good while doing their job

best returning past character - Jugglus Juggler is the most engaging part of Ultraman Z. It helps that I prefer him post-Orb, still insane but slightly mellow and selfless

best actor - The easy answer would be Takeru Satoh and his amazing emulation of the Taros. But I’m giving this to Shuya Sunagawa, who was eating snacks before he went and filmed Horobi’s crying scenes. Actually I’d give it to all the Zero One men for doing their best despite the pandemic

best actress - Tamaki Matsumoto (she made the switch from Yuriko Shiratori’s Hana to her Kohana work), Noa Tsurushima (she really shined towards the end), Hiroe Igeta (I swear she needs recognition or else)

toku crush of 2020 - Jin, Horobi, Yuuto Sakurai, Gai Kurenai

best writer - Yasuko Kobayashi, since I’ve watched two of her best works this year and drowned in a puddle of tears. Honorable mention to Naruhisa Arakawa for Dekaranger and my current watch of Kuuga

best director - This year I’ve kept up with behind-the-scenes bits and pieces for current series (thanks to @kanacaecilius​), but I still can’t name the staff off the top of my head ^^;

best suit design - Burning Falcon, Lightning Hornet, Zero Two, SWAT Mode, Dekamaster, Zeronos, and Tajador

best weapon/vehicle/mecha - Yuuto’s sword (I always rewind the scene where he swings it in episode 20), D-Sword Vega, AttacheArrow, the SlashRiser

best fight scene - Zero One episode 41, where Aruto and Horobi team up to fight the Ark. It’s a thing of beauty

best dramatic scene - Zero One episode 15, Horobi’s death scene featuring Jin. Same series, episode 45, Horobi and Aruto confronting the pain in their hearts and letting themselves breathe. OOO episode 48, Ankh dying. Den-O, whenever we’re confronted about Yuuto’s fate of being forgotten. Fourze, Gentarou’s homiecide. Every death scene hits hard, okay

best comedic scene - Everything in Den-O. Even the finale made me chuckle, I was supposed to be sad

biggest “what on earth did i just watch?” moment - The entire Dekaranger vs Abaranger crossover. I have words about the chiropractor

best song - “Realxeyez”, “Climax Jump”, “Everything Goes”, “Switch On”, both Dekaranger ending songs, a number of original soundtracks that cleave my soul (i.e. OOO in a nutshell)

best piece of merchandise - I would say the Progrise Keys...however I’ve bought a lot of photobooks this year ^^;

biggest surprise of 2020 - When Aruto became Ark One or Horobi making it out alive after the final battle

single worst thing in 2020 tokusatsu - Probably the hiatus? It was beyond everyone’s control though, so I don’t blame anyone (unless people are not obeying health regulations despite the risks to everyone’s health)

[syubub]

May 13th Reading

Definitely long awaited and way bigger than I intended it to be so buckle up.

Funky disclaimer: this is for entertainment purposes only and not to be taken as fact! This is my interpretation of the cards!

Oh boy. The continuation of yoongis soulmate saga.

(Note frome future me: it's not proofread but I'm hungry. Sorry for mistakes!)

So so so so

Let's start.

I started with all the normal jazz. Connecting with his energy and shit. Same as usual same old same old. Platform= same same. I was like, "hey, let's talk about your soulmate and the whole may 13th shit" and we connected via energy stringy thing to the forehead and such. I was intresting bc my end of the string was kinda my energy color! Neato. Looks like some rest has really done me good!

Okay, here's where I start actually asking shit. I made notes at this point before the reading as I usually do. I'm just gonna insert the screen shot here.

The 14 thing really fucked me up. You'll see later. Also, when I got the whole Pisces Jupiter thing I had to do me some googling bc we established that Jupiter went into Pisces ON May 13th so I was like?? Am I missing something?

I was. I forgot that it goes retrograde and then co.es back to Pisces on December 28th. And I do indeed think it to be significant.

The shit about temperance makes a lot of sense. In yoongis first soulmate read I flipped my shit bc he was like, "You're gonna get temperance reverse" in regards to a card for his soulmate and I was like "pft whatever. Don't play me like that"

And then I got temperance reverse. It's been a significant card from the jump.

I asked him if he had any advice for his soulmate and that's what "Don't wait for big things, you'll miss the small ones that lead you to bigger things" and "Look for facts before assuming" and "Don't try pushing it, forcing it won't make sense" and "A spade is a spade/ ace is an ace" and "Don't make ill informed guesses" all were

Now this part:

"Union has happened , yet to on the physical"

Gave me some hints thankfully because he straight up said no more hints.

This ties back into the whole Jupiter thing too. The seeds are/ have been planted and now they have to grow before they can be harvested.

Well Mr. Yoongi, I'm impatient and I don't want to wait. I want to see you in love pronto.

Anyways

He showed me a little dream box/ trinket box looking thing and a super vague Keychain with no further explanation... so... there's that I guess.

I can't quite decide if "Don't make ill informed guesses" was a tongue-in-cheek pike at me or if it was genuine advice to his soulmate? He just loves to not explain things.

Now let's begin the monster read.

So. The first row of cards

I asked the question, "what the fuck was May 13th and what was it's purpose in regards to your connection"

Important is what it was lol. I interpret this as them finding their footing and this being the starting point of the genuine foundation being layer. Like they've been manifesting eachother for a while but May 13th marked the start of them making the real life changes in their actual lives that will be the set up for them meeting.

The seven of coins is about thoughtful planning and creating security/ stable plan. The tower is essentially ripping away anything and everything that was built on unstable foundation and challenging/ testing your character (an extremely rude awakeing if you will). Judgement is releasing the past so you can rise above it and confronting yourself as you are (Also legit awakening) the queen of coins is financial security and self confidence in your abilities. Ten of coins is prosperity and abundance and most of all, stability. Eight of wands is explosion of potential and rapid movement. Temperance is awareness and balance between physical and spiritual. It's also that quiet peace where you find balance.

So. Seeing all those cards it really does seem like maybe his soulmate took on something new that could lead straight to union? Same for yoongi. I'd like to analyze and recent or new-ish habits or hobbies he's picked up?

Moving right along though. I asked what the 13th did for each of them in their personal life and personal journey. Kinda like what came as a result of that energy? Let's start with yoongles

This was really intresting to me. I think he definitely gained some form of clarity about the situation with that sun card. The 5 of cups tells me that either he was kinda forced to confront some of his flaws in a way that he was trying to avoid or he had to consciously let go of something dear to him? Could be something he had to leave behind because it crumbled with the tower moment but he didn't see it coming or didn't know that it was time to part with it? With that queen of wands though fits beautifully with the sun! Its like he's found warmth after a long winter. Definitely found a spark of compassion and generosity from a place of happiness and love rather than anger, fear, obligation or pitty.

I asked for clarity cards/ anything else that may 13th signified bringing in and we got the 2 of cups and 10 of swords. I have two thoughts. Either he let go of a relationship that he was already in because he didn't feel as though they were particularly compatible anymore (Also ties into the above section) OR the 13th had made him very much consciously aware of his soulmates incoming status and he is now preparing and working on himself for when this person comes. The 10 of swords would be him releasing the past and the pain and any ill fitting behavior that don't vibe with him any longer. Yellow really seems to be working for him by the way.

Soulmate time

Lol. All signs point to his soulmate genuinely starting a new venture. New creative pursuit that will bring them good money. 10 of pentacles is abundance, prosperity and stability. The ace of wands is a new creative spark and passion and it's the first big steps into something new. The 2 of wands is "the world is in the palm of your hands" vibes. Choices need to be made swiftly and with the ace of wands I think they will be. With the heirophant too, it will be a well informed decision because they've been manifesting this and has been searching for all the possible information.

As for clarity, we have the moon. Damn. Soulmates been doing that shadow work. Dredging up all their bullshit and getting rid of it while still taking the time to sit with it and release it so nothing is unresolved. Also probably extra creative due to all the emotional baggage being thrown out. (Definitely helping with the ace of wands vibes tbh)

Now for the bad boys in the middle

The question I asked is what those individual changes (detailed in the last two sections) will bring for the bond and I just can with them. These fuckers. I am so invested in their love story bc it's so... them? And just so fucking ROMANTIC. UGH I CAN'T.

Back to the point. High priestess, 4 of wands and the lovers. The high priestess is deep knowing and insane intuition, the 4 of wands is the purest joy and marriage and the lovers is well, the lovers.a magical union.

FUCK DUDE I NEED THIS TO BE A ROMCOM.

For the row of bottom cards

I asked if they had anything at all to add so I'm gonna explain each card individually bc I think they could be individual tid bits of shit.

Knight of coins is good news about finances/ money looking promising and organized work (also dependability!!). Death is all about transformation, the beginning of a new chapter and accepting in order to move foward. Ace of coins is spiritual and material abundance and also a reminder to keep grounded. Page of swords is confidence, important news coming and really good insight! Roots out secrets or hidden things like a truffle pig. The star is promising potential, healing and guidance from an enexpected place. The two of cups is a soul connection, love, intuition especially in regards to another person and a good bind. The emperor is self awareness, foresight, fearlessness to achieve a goal and confidence. Eight of coins rev is poor discipline and skating by on low effort.

Now to the sides!

Yoongi is the left, soulmate is the right.

So, let's begin with yoongi. The first two cards are anything he wants to say to his soulmate. Wheel of fortune and three of swords reverse. I take this as "its all in divine time/ it's destiny" (wheel of fortune) and "trust your intuition. It's okay to get hurt, you just need to remember you can always pick yourself up" (3of swords rev.)

We have now cards that I asked what he was learning through this process/ in this time. Be positive and first step.

The last two cards are affirmations he wants to give his soulmate.

"When I introduce joy to a situation, I change the vibrational frequency of what's happening around me" and "directing my focus onto what's thriving creates more of what I want"

Now for soulmates cards (same structure)

Strength and eight of swords. "You're stronger than you think. Take every part of yourself and acknowledge it. You're a force to be reckoned with" (strength) and (soulmate snapped at him on this) "the only thing holding you captive is you."

Now we have peer pressure (I think soulmate is learning to say "fuck you" and "fuck off" to people who have a set idea of how everyone should be living their lives), emotional healing and open your arms to receiving.

Then we have "its good to feel good" (lol I feel like yoongi definitely needs this one) and "when I connect to the spiritual realm, I open the door to recieve divine guidance, clear direction, and great wisdom"

The last stretch my friends.

So. Completion, leave behind the things that no longer serve you. Exist in the present and don't keep mulling over the past or any future happenings. Magic, pay attention to the magic around you. Listen for the signs of the universe and take them as they come (essentially listen to divine guidance) . Be open minded but logical as well. Luminous warrior, try focusing on the good in yourself instead of berating yourself for every small flaw. Spiritual path, self explanatory. The blade, your power can be a weapon when used willy nilly (most often wounding the wielder) or it can heal. Don't fear it but also consider how you choose to utilize it. The give away, be greaful for the sake of being greatful for it, not because you want something in return. The rain maker, manifestation station. Create with the tools you have because you have everything you need in order to manifest. "Don't take life personally"

Now we have heaven sent.

""Let yourself be helped" assistance is coming your way so act on it and say yes"

" This Oracle also comes with the message that you are to trust in the things that you feel and say to others without knowing why. It moves them. You might not understand, but through trust you are allowing yourself not to overthink and censor yourself. As such you are able to become a vessel through which the spiritual gift can be passed on to others. Don't block yourself. Let life happen through you. Only benefit can come from this."

And free from judgment, free to love

" If you have been asking life for a solution to a specific difficulty you have been having, this Oracle comes with the message that a solution is in gestation right now. This situation is already being sorted out and the resolution will come to fruition very soon. Hold tight and wait for the eminent birth of that resolution."

" This Oracle also brings you a message about love. You may find that you are loving, or soon will love, in a different way. You may worry about this love, given that it defies what you have known or been taught about love. Perhaps you are becoming able to love another tremendously, even though you don't have much of a personal relationship with them. You might question if this love is real. It is real Kama it is just happening at a different level to the love and attachment you experience when you are involved in a personal relationship with someone. It is not more or less, it is just a different facet of love. It may be that you are opening up to love the planet and her creatures, including the animals, the ocean dwelling life, your own body, the trees and so on, more than before period you may feel passionately purposeful about giving your time and energy to causes that protect and nurture the Earth and her creatures. You are affirmed in this love too. The universal mother is operating through you to nurture life. She will support you in your work, so that you can continue To come from love and not become drained, depleted or lost in despair or fear of futility. Instead, you will be energised and expanded by your dedicated service to life."

" Finally, this Oracle has a message for those who may be feeling alone or lonely in a need of greater nurturing from others. You are asked to stop, relax, centre and settle into your body to feel your connection with life itself. The air in your lungs is the same as the air that moves through the trees. The water in your blood is the same water that fills the oceans and is moved by the phases of the moon. The flesh of your body is the same substance as the body of the Earth itself. The heat in your digestive system is the same fire and heat as that from the Sun. Feel this connection, then do something nice for another without agenda. Make a donation, even if just a small one, smile, say a prayer, sent out a good thought or make a wish for another. That's it. You have connected to life again and in doing so, life can connect with you. And so it shall.

And that's all for the cards but but but.

Someone (either my guide or yoongi) was like, "do a song. Do a song. Do a song." And I was like, "oki doki, sounds good.

So I asked what numbers I should try refreshing and then it hit me. The number 14 came up before the reading and it seemed a bit misplaced? So I did 14 shuffles and look what popped up

You gotta be fucking with me.

Istg these fools will actually be the death of me dude. Euphoria is so romantic and I lowkey feels like it describes a bit of what their bond must be like.

YOONGGGIIII

Anyway,

I came back to the platform to be like, "thanks homie" and it was weird bc he was practically pure energy? Like usually I visualize his energy as what his physical body looks like because it's easier to comprehend? But nope, he was just a big shimmery glob of energy.

As I was going to disconnect, a few things happened. I felt tingly and the platform was vibrating almost? So I was like, "hold on, what the fuck is this?"

And then

It hit me

"MIN YOONGI IS YOUR SOULMATE HERE??"

I could tell this fuckin asshole was smug even in his blue glob form.

The color was... blue like yoongi but also a light lavender/ pink kinda vibe. Pretty damn distinct.

I was so stoked and I thought we'd all get to chat and I could yell at his soulmate for being an elusive asshat

But Mr smug butt had different plans.

My dude dropped a little marble thing in my hand and I was like ??? And he was like, "you'll know when you need it" and I was like ?????

My guide took pity on me and said, "it's just a representation on information that you've been given but it isn't the proper time to unpack it yet"

Cool cool so like and energetic zip file that will release itself whenever it damn well pleases? Cool cool cool.

(Asshole)

Anyway, I genuinely think that my excitement of this whole situation must somehow also influence how yoongis energy handles my prodding? Like what the fuck is this marble bullshit?

To top it all off, he gives me a friendly shove off of his platform.

Thanks, buddy.

Now we are here. And as always, I'm left with more questions.

My main take away is that amay 13th through July 28th will be all the foundation and ground work and December 28th 2021 through May 10th (11th? 9th?) 2022 will be a more likely time for physical union and actual relationship stuffs.

Anyone who knows more about astrology please feel free to chime in on this whole Jupiter in Pisces bit! My understanding is super surface level!!

~~~~

That was a big boi and now my thumbs hurt real bad. Hope you were entertained by the chaos.

[kyber-crystal]

marvelinsanity’s forever follows

okAy so i was originally going to do this at the end of december but. i got lazy and distracted (idek how that works lmao) and ended up forgetting ab it. but here are some of the people that helped make quarantine a little less shitty and a little more bearable—thank you for giving me a reason to get up in the morning. 

i’m sorry i haven’t been very active lately and how i’ve been kind of distant. things have been rough and i haven’t written anything solid in weeks and to those anons waiting for their requests to be done, i’m sorry :( i hope you’ll understand. 

2020 came with many ups and downs and more late night depression sessions than i’d like to admit—it hasn’t gotten any easier this year—but i wouldn’t change anything at all. among all of my accomplishments i’m proudest of the fact that i finally found myself, made many new friends, and discovered what i was truly passionate about—writing.

to be honest, i never thought i’d get to where i am now but i’m so grateful that i’m here. taking some time out of my day to lose myself in my imagination and actually bring those ideas to life has to have been one of the best decisions i’ve made. i seriously don’t know where i’d be if it wasn’t for each and every single one of you i’ve had the privilege of having on this (rather chaotic) little blog of mine.

special mentions to my star wars simp nation people for becoming my found family. i love you all more than you know. thank u for putting up with my endless shitposting LOL @obirain @rentskenobi @bo-kryze @karasong @fettymercury @xwingsandohs @etherealsanakin @meshlababy and to @prequelsnet and everyone on it for being so welcoming and kind no matter what <3

new mutuals! @goldensatine @cafeobiwan @labyrinth-runner @myriadimagines @honeyedfloral you were all unexpected blessings but i wouldn’t have it any other way. i hope we can grow closer & here’s to many more pleasant memories in 2021!! i appreciate yall a lot. really : ‘)

to my oldest mutual and favorite swiftie @speechlessxx i’ve been following you for AGES and i can’t believe i’ve been following you for almost a year—thank you for being my older sister, mentor, and best friend and dog mom all rolled into one. i don’t know where i’d be without you now because you literally were the one who inspired me to start writing and KEEP writing. OH also thank u for screaming over taylor w me

@arkofblake jess. ur literally the best person ever and i’m so happy that i found someone who matched my energy perfectly bc. i can fangirl over edits with you and not worry about being judged. thank u for ur hydration reminders too <3 ur super swag fam

more lovely people i would love to write an entire essay on but can’t because i’d break my hands doing so, quite literally asdfasdf @padawanlost @ewanmcgregors @padmeamidela @anakin-danvers @dindjarindiaries @chokemeanakin @stardust-kenobi @starryeyedstories @kelieah @guacas @lilbabycee @johnboyuga @margeaery @ahskatano @benjiiskenobi @jlhpotters @badbctch @obaby-wan @dearspacepirates @sithdust @marvel-dameron @ohhellokenobi @beskar-tano @duskholland @outerims @arynfrompogonia @wecallhimbrowneyess @yeinnefer @anakinswhore @alideetoo

to my international twin @propertyofdindjarin i love u and i’m grateful for all our chaotic facetime calls that we have and for the fact that you’re such a supportive beta reader. you never fail to put a smile on my face whenever we talk and it makes me feel so good knowing i can always come to you for advice. i don’t know how the hell you do it but literally every time we’re talking i get huge bursts of inspo—thank you SO much for that you have no idea how many times you’ve prevented me from falling into a permanent slump.

and last but most CERTAINLY not least. @poesflygirl holy crap where do i even begin. words cannot explain how grateful i am to have met you. i don’t know what i even did to deserve someone as wonderful as you but i’m so so so so glad you came into my life, took one look at me, and decided, “yup, i’m sticking with her” despite the fact that i was far from what a typical, ‘normal’ friend might’ve looked like to you. it feels like we’ve known each other for years even though our five month friendiversary literally just passed??? what??? it’s crazy how time flies. 

thank you so so so so so much to all 1.2k of you who decided to stay with me for so long. thank you endlessly for putting up with my bullshit and all my shitposting and my typically chaotic self. i love you all so so much 

[hinasho]

i finally finished tribes of europa and that was actually really fucking good????

HOT TIP -> don’t watch the english dub. i usually don’t care between dub or sub, but the dub of TOE is definitely it’s downfall and changes the entire atmosphere of the show, in a bad way. okay anyways:

TOE was actually great. i think the beginning half of the first episode is the worst (i even almost exited out. it looked so wack) and then the rest of the episode is just okay. but from then on, things genuinely do pick up.

i love Liv. i love her persistence to do whatever it takes to rescue her family. the fact that after all this time she still refuses to assimilate and rep a flag is really cool imo. she has one goal and the only people she’s truly loyal to are her family. she doesn’t owe anyone else anything at all. i really like her. i did think her romance with that David guy was kinda dull tho.

i like Elja’s story. his relationship with Moses was fun to watch and i like that, like his sister, his loyalties are mainly focused on his family. unlike Liv tho, he’s not as cutthroat and will ofc help Moses out if he can, but if he sees that things aren’t leading him to avenge his family, then if need be he’ll go on his own path.

and Kiano’s story. my goodness that is all angst. all the siblings are traumatized but Kiano is def coming out of this the Most fucked up, if he’s not already. i liked his plotline tho, things were always always intense and the vibe of One Wrong Move And Youre Dead was definitely there.

i just!!! gosh the storytelling in this was amazing. i love how the siblings are all each on different sides - Liv is with another tribe, Elja isn’t with any tribe and is on the run, and Kiano is with the villains.

and the parallels! omg the parallels. it didn’t even hit me until like episode 5 that all their storylines were progressing parallel to each other. ep5 had a running theme of betrayal in all of them - Liv (temporarily) betrays David, Elja’s plan to betray Moses gets revealed, and then Dewiat betrays Kiano by ratting him and his dad out. after that point i started seeing so many other layers to the show that i absolutely plan to do a rewatch bc what else could i have missed??!?!!!

and the acting!! i feel like i’m losing my mind bc i’ve seen some ppl say the acting isn’t good. are we watching the same show????? the show where Kiano’s drenched in tears after having almost killed him self just to please Varvara? the show where Elja goes into an emotional rage after Moses’ lady friend says the cube can’t be fixed? the show where after Liv wakes up in the Crimson camp and her blatant-but-obviously-wanting-to-hide distress at being alone, and then the way her tone goes deadly serious once she tells David and co. that she’ll rescue her family herself?? that same show?!???!!?! the acting is probably the best thing about it!

all this is not to say i didn’t have gripes tho:

the soundtrack. idk what was up with whoever chose the music but they need to get it together. there were a few times where the music didn’t really fit the scene and kinda took me out of it.

the camera work. episode 1 i think is the worst offender of this but there were a lot of times when the camera work was just Not Good. either the characters were being shot from weird and unpleasant angles, or it was just off somehow. idk. but this fortunately gets better further into the show.

the worldbuilding. it’s hard to explain, it’s like it’s both good and not enough. like, can i easily understand everything? yes. if i were to see a random character dressed in their tribes’ usual clothes, would i be able to easily identify them? absolutely. but do i know how many days have actually passed since the Origine massacre? nope. do i remember how long it’s been since Black December and what year the protags live in now? nu uh. do i understand what wolk even is or why the Crows even started following Yvar in the first place?? nope! so like this is what i mean. the worldbuilding is enough for the plot to make sense and move forward, but it’s also not enough in feeling like an in-depth universe with lore and history and etc. etc.

all in all i really liked it!!!! i’m really hoping it gets a season 2 bc it definitely deserves it and there’s still so many cliffhangers (especially the ones at the end of Kiano and Elja’s stories) that this is gonna need many more seasons to come.

[bae-roman]

I know it’s a bit early but I remember you saying you love Christmas so I hope this is fine but can I get a holiday themed [if they don’t celebrate actual Christmas] bunni and roman drabble that’s on the more mature side and maybe before they have kids [other than Nadia oviously but maybe she’s not involved] thank you!!!! 😁

Ahh! Thanks for the request babe! I LOOOOOOOVE Christmas SO MUCH. Honestly You could send me Christmas prompts in like April and I’d still be down.

I actually have a drabble I was working on last year so I’m just going to add onto that! Nadia may be involved a tad in the beginning but I’ll make it more mature at the end!

Putting some under the cut bc it gets smutty towards the end!

This would be their first Christmas together after bunny moved in. She had told Roman many times before about her love of everything Christmas related and he’d seen how perfectly decorated her old home had been. Hell, even the year before bunny bought piles of decorations to Roman’s house after discovering all he had was a tree and a wreath which was “completely and utterly unacceptable” and “akin to child abuse” as bunny had said. 

Roman was definitely not the most into Christmas, and had Nadia not been a factor, he would likely ignore the holiday altogether. 

When Bunny cared about something she really throws herself into it and what Roman didn’t know is that Bunny had actually been toning down her Christmas spirit in the previous years. Since she had never lived alone, she always had to compromise on her decor. Even though her previous roomies were her friends and had a bit more tolerance for her antics, she still wanted to be respectful of common living areas and not shove her decorations down their throats, even if that meant having only 1 Christmas tree. 

So, now living with Roman in what she considered her home as well, she was finally able to go all out, and let me tell you -  she did. Roman went to work on December 1st to his house looking normal and came back that night to something like this

(Of course their house doesn’t look like this, but it’s how bunny hung their lights)

Like Roman is practically blinded by it while driving down the street. 

Additionally, all the trees on their property were also lit up and decorated just as extravagantly. Even if Roman wasn’t a bit of a grinch, he’d still consider this too much. When he entered the house things only got worse. While aesthetically it looked good, Roman couldn’t get over the fact that his home now closely resembled the inside of a Christmas store. 

He was greeted by Nadia running up to him, like she always did when he come home, “Don’t you like it Daddy? Bunny said I didn’t have to go to school if I helped! Isn’t it pretty?” 

Nadia was obviously very excited about the state of the house and as much as Roman loathed it, the last thing he wanted to do was disappoint his little girl so, he hid his disdain behind a fake smile and said the house looked lovely.

When Nadia dragged him away to show him the Christmas tree in her room he caught Bunny’s eye and sent her a quick scowl, but Bunny only laughed. 

After seeing the pink Christmas explosion that occurred in Nadia’s room, he took a quick look through the rest of the house, discovering every room had their own tree and separate theme. If he wasn’t so horrified that he had to live here for the next month, he’d be somewhat impressed. 

The one thing he actually did like was the main Christmas tree in the living room. Bunny had moved things around (or rather, had paid many people to move things around) so that it was centered around this colossal tree. The thing was huge but beautiful all the same. It reminded Roman of one he’d seen as a child on a trip with his father to Time’s square.

While he didn’t love the rest of the house, he appreciated that bunny had left his office alone and kept their bedroom decor to a minimum. He bitched about the decorations all month long but ultimately, didn’t order her to remove them. 

This would come to bite him in the ass the following year, though, because Bunny went even harder the next year. 

Now, let’s skip to the evening of Christmas day...

After they had put Nadia down for bed Roman and Bunny went back to the living room for a drink. 

The two of them were talking about nothing in particular for a while before roman started wandering around the tree. It was large enough that Bunny couldn’t see him on the other side but she heard some shuffling so she called out, asking what he was doing. 

Roman re-emerged holding a present, “There was one left, it says it’s for you” 

“Ooh! Does it say who it’s from? I don’t recognize the wrapping paper” Bunny was too excited about the prospect of another gift that she didn’t even notice the odd way Roman was holding the box. His arms were hanging low and he was holing it on both sides, right below his waist. 

Just as bunny was about to snatch it out of his hands, he stopped her. She looked up at him and pouted, “hey!”

“It’s uh really heavy. I guess whatever’s in here is pretty huge. Maybe just open the lid?”

“Fine, just give it to me”

When it came to presents, bunny was almost like a child. She loved gifts and surprise ones were even better. 

Once again, ignoring Roman’s odd behavior, she opened the lid of her gift and found ... Roman’s dick. 

Bunny looked up at Roman, a shit eating grin plastered on his face, and looked back down at the contents of the box again before bursting into laughter. 

“Wow, just what I needed!”, Bunny played along, “no wonder it was so heavy, maybe you should put it down...”

Bunny took Roman’s hand and led him to the couch. He stood by the side as she got on her knees, resting her elbows on the arm of the loveseat, facing him. She carefully took off the box, freeing his member and taking it in her hands. Roman undid the buttons of his pants and let them fall down while Bunny took the tip of his length into her mouth. Roman pushed her hair out of her face and gripped it at the back of her head, nudging her head to take more of him in. She obeyed and slowly took more and more of him in until she was at the base, Roman let out a soft groan and leaned over to pull her top down to expose her chest. He licked his thumb and forefinger before reaching down and playing with her nipples. 

Bunny continued to increase her pace until she felt Roman beginning to twitch inside her. She let him fall out of her mouth and got up to give him a kiss. She felt his tongue battle against hers as their bodies pushed against eachother. 

Bunny ran her hands down from Roman’s neck to the collar of his shirt and tugged at the buttons until they ripped off. Roman slid his hands down her body, stopping to grip her bunched up top and dragging it down over her ass. Once he let the fabric go, he cupped Bunny’s ass in his hands and lifted her so that her legs were wrapped around him. 

The fabric of her tights on his bare cock hardened him further and when the pair broke apart, he set bunny down on her feet and quickly removed the rest of her clothing so that they were both naked.

Bunny went back to the couch, this time sitting on it normally and widened her legs. Roman licked his lips and knelt down, putting a hand on each of her knees. 

He spread her legs even further and pushed her back before bringing his plump lips to her core. He teased her at first, nipping at her thighs and licking her all over, except for her clit. He knew how crazy that drove her. When he heard her let out a little whine, he smirked to himself before giving her clit his full attention. Bunny arched her back and tried to move her thighs together but Roman’s firm grip stopped her from being able to interrupt his work. Roman felt her walls begin to tighten around his fingers and, just as she did to him, stopped his actions. 

They both had a hate-love relationship with edging eachother. On one hand, being so close to your climax and then not reaching it was almost unbearable however, they knew that the sex to come would be 10 times more wild. 

Almost like she could read his mind, Bunny flipped herself over on the couch so that she was again on her knees but this time her upper body leant against the back of it. 

Roman ran his member across her slit, coating it in her juices before sliding it inside her. He took full control of Bunny’s hips and made achingly slow movements. He began to quicken his pace and it wasn’t long before he was bottoming out inside of her. They were both moaning fairly loudly. Roman ran one of his hands down from her ass to her clit and played with it while he fucked her. It wasn’t long before he once again felt her walls constrict around him but this time he let her reach her high. He followed not long after and rested on top of her. 

When they were finished, bunny made sure to pick up their clothes and head upstairs. Roman, who had followed her into their room, lay on their bed while she went into the closet. Roman assumed that she was putting the laundry away or something since she was in there for a while but was pleasantly surprised when she came back out in... this

“So, I guess we had the same idea ...”, Bunny said as she posed in the doorway, showing off her little outfit. She looked at him over her shoulder and asked, “You ready to open your gift?”

[gladiatortale]

My DEPRESSION BEATING, fandom obsessing, shit-tastic FANTASTIC year in review!

TL;DR: I’m fixing my mental health and figuring out WHO THE FUCK I AM one fandom filled day at a time! Thank you to everyone who’s been there for me along the way. xoxo

what’s up HEATHENS.

stating the goddamn obvious here, it’s been a HELLUVA YEAR. One emotional rollercoaster after another but we’re ALMOST DONE. I know things aren’t gonna magically get better the second it flips to 00:01 on January first, but I’m excited to put this year behind me, and (SHOCKINGLY) a bit sad to see it go.

It was a year where the whole world completely stopped, we realized what is really important, what is really worth fighting for, and took a GODDAMN SECOND to just breathe.

For me personally, the year (which I’m counting off from November 1st) started out UNBELIEVABLY SHIT. I had just been kicked out of the country I called home for the last four years (thank you Brexit), I had ZERO job prospects, my depression was the WORST it had ever been, and I just didn’t want to get out of bed in the morning. And in the beginning, the pandemic felt like salt in the wound, an extra kick in the teeth to my early twenties that had already “failed to launch.”

But I tried to embrace the madness, really take advantage of the world (that I always thought moved to fast) properly slowing down, and take time to try and become myself again. I wanted to figure out what I loved and try and become a bit more like the person I was before my depression got so bad.

I often say I became that Manic Trash Planet Lady™ you see in sci-fi adventure films; a bit zany to say the least, with a million ideas and a very eclectic fashion sense, but embracing the insanity as it comes...

*cough cough* audrey, get to the goddamn point!

Right. lol. THE POINT IS! 

I’m not 100% “healed”, I’m not sure if I think depression is a “oh look you’re officially cured! hooray!” type of disease, but this year I let myself ENJOY SHIT for the first time in god knows how long. I still don’t know “wHaT i WaNt To dO WiTh mY LiFe”, but I’ve got a better idea and I’m heading in (what feels like) the right direction. And most of all, I can look back and say I am better than where I was a year ago.

So I wanted to say T H A N K Y O U to the mad lads on this website that introduced me to the fandoms, shows, movies, fics... THE SHIT that made me happy this year and were there to be one (BIG) piece in my healing journey.

AND SO, with out further rambling ADO! Here are the highlights of the year marked by my ridiculous hyper-fixations and OBSESSIONS. Thanks for putting up with me ya fiends, xoxox

November 2019  The Arcana (Visual Novel)

I had just gotten home and I was in a LOOOOOOW place. Randomly decided to download this app when it came up and it proceeded to ruin my life (and my bank account...) for pretty much the rest of the year. It was exactly what I needed to get me through a tough time and I was thoroughly, horse-blinders-up-to-the-rest-of-the-world, OBSESSED. These gorgeous magical fiends ruined me and all I could say was thank you.

Joined the fandom: November 2019 Obsession peaked: Late November Obsession faded: December 2019; I started a new job AND my bank statement came in and I realized I had accidentally spent over SIXTY BUCKS on this stupid app. No ragrets, but I definitely started to phase out at that point. Fandom friends: Velma, (@lanavxds on insta) miss you girlie xx Fanfics you NEED to read: ‘Second Mistake’ by DeathBelle on AO3, because DAAAAAYUM SON. Favourite moments: Basically the whole of the Julian arc. That gangly himbo OWNED my ass for a month.

December 2019 Hazbin Hotel (TV Series)

Y’ALL okay here me out. Am I proud of this one? No. Is the show crass as hell? OOOOOOOOHHHH YEAH. Did my angsty ass love it at the end of last year? DAMN STRAIGHT IT DID. Goes without saying, but this is NOT FOR EVERYBODY, but it definitely helped me along the way to becoming more comfortable with myself and being open about being the massive geek that I always was, and watching things I enjoy regardless of what people say about it.

Joined the fandom: December 2019 Obsession peaked: Shortly there after. Fandom friends: None. Dipped one toe in fandom discourse and then promptly YEETED the fuck outta there. Obsession faded: January 2019. Still curious to see the full series if A24 actually ever does produce the whole thing, but I have def moved away from it. Fanfics you NEED to read: Haven’t read any. Maybe I’m a pussy baby piece-o-shit, but I DID NOT want to go down that rabbit hole, NO MA’AM. Favourite moments:

Discovering the Hunicast podcast. These guys are a riot and Ashley is a flustered GEM. Even if you don’t watch the show, go watch an episode of these fucking LADS just dicking about and your day will get better.

Watching the first episode with my partner and watching him realize his girlfriend is a total freak.

January 2020 Lore Olympus (Webtoon Comic)

*Officially* discovered this one thanksgiving weekend in 2019, but my Arcana phase was still raging pretty strong at that point so I didn’t really get in to it until later. EVERYBODY AND THEIR MOTHER NEEDS TO READ IT. It has everything and handles the reality sexual assault and it’s aftermath EXTREMELY well.

Joined the fandom: Late November 2019 Obsession peaked: January 2020 Fandom friends: KELLEY. MA GIRL XOXOXO Obsession faded: June-ish 2020. I’m like 10 chapters behind now, but I still love this story so much. Fanfics you NEED to read: SO MANY ON MY ‘MARKED FOR LATER’ LIST AAAAAH. I have to get to that... NEW YEARS RESOLUTION lol Favourite moments: Having a drunk conversation on New Years Eve in 2019 with one of my oldest friends from high school about how much she loved it too. Helped me see how popular fandom and fandoms, are especially after feeling like I needed to hide my enthusiasm through high school and uni. (THAT WAS A MISTAKE BUT I’LL GET THERE IN A MINUTE).

February 2020 Versailles (TV Series)

SO FUCKING GAY Y’ALL. Oh my god everyone in this show is so gay. Even when they’re not they still are a little bit. AND BEST OF ALL!! it’s very historically accurate (except for the demon satanic nonsense in season 3, what was that???)

Joined the fandom: February 2020 Obsession peaked: Like??? The SECOND I finished episode one. Fandom friends: none... WHERE ARE ALL OF YOU??? Obsession faded: March 2020. It was a fast and passionate love affair, what can I say? Fanfics you NEED to read: IF YOU HAVE RECS, GIVE ‘EM TO MEEEEE. Favourite moments: 

Showing the first episode to a friend of mine and the *ungodly GASP* that came out of her throat was... PRICELESS.

The ENTIRE throuple(???) relationship between the Chevalier, Philipe, and Palatine. PLATONIC/ ROMANTIC LOVE G O A L S.

March 2020 Yuri!!! On Ice (TV Series)

*deep breath* ...y’all knew this one was coming.

Was I ready for this show to ruin my fucking life? No.  Am I so glad it happened??? FUCK YEAH.

NEVER IN MY LIFE have I fallen off the deep end so quickly with a fandom. HOLY SHIT. This blog didn’t have much of an “identity” before, but I you said that this is a Yuri On Ice blog now I wouldn’t even be mad (nor could I really defend myself to the contrary... bc??? like??? just go LOOK at my archive). Craziest thing is I watched the first two episodes like?? a solid TWO YEARS ago, but I didn’t continue watching because I was just not in the right head space for all the love and silliness and positivity.

I could do a whole separate post about how much this show and how this fandom has changed my life (DON’T TEMPT ME I JUST MIGHT). But I’ll stick with the highlights for now ;)

Joined the fandom: March 2020  Obsession peaked: Has it peaked?? Went straight up and it still going lol Fandom friends: Sandra, my mentor, my queen @aeriamamaduck, my fandom ride-or-die. Thank you for taking this internet bby under your wing. RACHEL @idancewiththefairies I TRAPPED YOU HERE. MUAHAHAHA xxx Obsession faded: ON GOING. CAN’T STOP, WON’T STOP. Fanfics you NEED to read: jfc, SO MANY.

‘Until My Feet Bleed and My Heart Aches’ and ‘Of Bright Stars and Burning Hearts’ by Reiya @kazliin​ -- Rivals AU companion pieces. Longest fics I’ve ever read and JESUS CHRIST these two fucking SENT ME. Most popular YOI fics on AO3 for a REASON.

‘Tell Me Where Your Love Lies’ by @aeriamamaduck -- Royalty AU, trope-breaking ABO. Ah sweet, TMWYLL, how you’ve killed me over and over again. This BEAUTIFUL wip has SUCH amazing world-building idk where to start (Congrats on passing 50,000 hits!) EVERYONE GO READ IT.

‘Blackbird’ by sixpences -- WWII/Coldwar Spy Fic. I don’t have enough words to describe how amazing this is. It’s elevated to a higher plane beyond fanfic. Just go read it. Thank me later.

‘Zanka’ by rinsled05 @dreaming-fireflies -- The geisha fic that ruined me. *deep breath* AAAAAAAAAAHHHHH *gasp* I’m fine. lol I sooooo not ready for this fic. Holy hell, Aoyagi had my heart in his hands from the first chapter. “’Please’ [...] ‘Don’t give me hope.’“ FUUUUCK.

‘Echoes’ by Reiya @kazliin -- Future fic. First fic I cried at... BOI. I was NOT ready for this. Shouldn’t be surprised given the author, but MAN. “‘A love like that, a love like what they had together, it never leaves completely.’ Yuri spoke again, eyes still staring out onto the ice, lost in memory. ‘There are always echoes.’” JUST FUCK ME UP.

Favourite moments: Oh good lord, where do I begin??

Having two (count ‘em TWO) main characters with mental health issues (Yuuri and his anxiety and Victor with burn out and depression) and NOT MAKING IT THE ONLY ASPECT OF THEIR PERSONALITY. CLAPS FOR KUBO AND YAMAMOTO!!

Everything about Yurio (ESPECIALLY HIS RELATIONSHIP WITH YUUKO AND HIS GRANDPA), that tsundere motherfucker is too pure for this world.

THE KISS. THE PROPOSAL. MY HEART WASN’T READY. AAAAAH!!

This fandom *properly* introducing me to smut on AO3...

Thinking I was going to get Rachel to like the show... NOT being prepared for her to fall off the deep end and START LIKING REAL SKATING TOO!!

Staying up waaaaaay too late waaaaaay too often to plan out plot points for TMWYLL with Sandra. Love ya dearie.

The warm fuzzy feeling I get every time I think about Victor and Yuuri.

April 2020 Bungou Stray Dogs (TV Series)

I had a hunch I was gonna like this show considering ALL of the characters are based off of famous classic authors from around the world... what I was NOT prepared for was just HOW MUCH I was going to love it. HOLY SHIT. The art style? Love it. The plot?? Bonkers, but so fun. THE VOICE CAST??? AMAZING. Highly recommend to anyone who wants to get in to anime, great place to start.

Joined the fandom: April 2020 Obsession peaked: Probably this summer? But we have DEF plateaued in a VERY high place. Fandom friends: FIJI. MA BOIIIII @lil-1nsane  Obsession faded: Hasn’t. Hope it doesn’t Fanfics you NEED to read: So so so many. The smut in this fandom is *chef’s kiss*, but here are a few...

‘He Works Hard For the Money’ by CataclysmicEvent @cataclysmicevent2019​ -- Sugar Daddy AU. FUCK MAN. I was not expecting to like this one, but bloody hell. This fic grabbed me by the throat and WOULD NOT let me go. Praying for chapter 16! But the author is working on another STELLAR fic so I’m okay for now.

‘Everything or Nothing’ by CataclysmicEvent @cataclysmicevent2019​ -- University AU. FUCK THIS FIC. Started reading it as I was waiting for HWHFTM to update and BOI, this fic ROCKS. The alternating POV fits so well with the enemies/idiots-to-lovers vibe. Solid 10 outta 10.

‘The City Where Wind Blows’ by @raven-rein​ -- Cancer Death fic. *pained shriek* AAAAAAGUUUUUUUHHHH *gasp* aaaaaaAAAAAAHHHHHHHH, FUUUCCCCCCCCCKKKK MEEEEE. THIS FIC. Only the second fic I’ve ever cried to but I BAWLED MY GODDAMN EYES OUT. FUUUUUUUCK. I was not ready, never would have been ready. This is so tremendously well done, it killed me so beautifully, 

‘Haunted by Hatred’ by DeathBelle -- Canon compliant Soukoku. It is a CRIME that DeathBelle doesn’t have more BSD fics on her page, but this one is still brilliant.

Favourite moments:

THE CHUUYA-DAZAI MAFIA REUNION TEAM UP WHEN THEY FIGHT LOVECRAFT. Ooof. BOI. We love it.

The first three episodes. Soooo many break neck plot twists.

Every insane hypothetical conversation with Fiji.

Every time Atsushi or Tanizaki is on screen bc I LOVE THESE LIL BEANS.

June 2020 Trash Taste (Podcast)

Goddamn I love these chaotic lads so much.

As I became more and more comfortable with myself and my love for anime I stumbled upon these three goons, -- Joey, Connor, and Garnt, -- best known for there SUPER successful (mostly) anime YouTube channels. Even if you don’t watch anime, WATCH/LISTEN TO THIS PODCAST. The focus is mostly on their lives and the overall expat/immigrant experience, with a bit of anecdotal anime references sprinkled in. 

This show is both wholesome and heathenous in equal measure, and after having lived abroad for a significant portion of my (admittedly still quite short) life, it was such a breath of fresh air to hear people talk so openly about how living outside your home country is both wonderful and terrifying. They’re wonderfully candid about the fact that even if you love a place dearly, no where is perfect, and you WILL hate somethings about your new home even if the majority of the experience is fantastic. I cannot rate this show highly enough.

Joined the fandom: June 5th 2020, loved it from the first episode. Obsession peaked: July maybe? I was RELIGIOUS about watching the episodes as soon as they came out. Still watch every week, but less “on time.” Fandom friends: None :( but I have tricked my partner in to listening several times :) Obsession faded: It’s dimmed from where it was, but still going strong. Fanfics you NEED to read: NONE. NEVER PLAN TO. Hard and fast rule, I don’t read fics about real people. Characters played by real people, even that’s a maybe for me. But real-real people? FUCK NO. (some of my) Favourite moments:

Any time Garnt and Connor get into a big-brain-monkey-brain argument and Joey is just LOSING his GODDAMN MIND in the corner.

Bringing a retired Japanese porn star in the show for an honest conversation about consensual sex work and showing people can have more than one career in life.

Everything about the, ‘Are Online Friends Real Friends?’ episode. GO WATCH IT, it’s brilliant.

Garnt making “chotto-THE-FUCKING-matte” an expression

August 2020 Great Pretender (TV Series)

Spent most of the summer marinating in my BSD and YOI bubbles, until THIS BAD BOI came up on my Netflix recommendations. HOOOO BOI. This is some Anime Of The Year shit right here. Has a pretty original concept (Catch Me If You Can by way of Oceans 11-ish) but generally starts out like most other shounen (sans the super powers). AND THEN EPISODE FIVE HAPPENS. Not gonna spoil it but they TOOK THAT SHIT UP A NOTCH. Brilliant, even with a bit of an insane ending. GO WATCH THIS ONE.

Joined the fandom: August 2020 Obsession peaked: Pretty much as soon as I started watching it. Fandom friends: What’s up Fiji ;) @lil-1nsane Obsession faded: Naturally faded, but so glad I watched Fanfics you NEED to read: None so far! Little scared about this one, heard mixed reviews, but maybe someday. Favourite moments:

Edamame’s “madness arc” at the end of season 2. HOOOO BOY.

Laurent getting fucking WRECKED when Edamame punches him mid way through season 2, kills me every time.

Introducing my partner to anime with this show.

October 2020 Attack on Titan (TV Series)

RETURN OF THE KING. lol

In my quest to find an anime that I can watch with my partner, I turned on season 1 of this bad boi. Holy hell I forgot how much I loved this show, NO WONDER everyone lost their goddamn minds when this show first aired. I NEED to catch up before all the season four spoilers come to get me...

Joined the fandom: Winter 2016 Obsession peaked: Basically as soon as I started watching it. Fandom friends: None yet, but I know you’re out there... Obsession faded: 2017, JUST BEFORE SEASON TWO... I should have stuck around longer I know, but it’s slowly coming back. Reeeeeally need to catch up on seasons two, three, and four. Fanfics you NEED to read: GIVE ME YOUR RECS HEATHENS. Favourite moments:

Watching my partner FREAK OUT about Eren’s “death.”

EVERYTHING ABOUT POTATO GORL! lol

Getting in a conversation with a die hard fan after I hadn’t watched it in three years and saying... “Who’s that blond bitch that cries all the time?”/ “Armin?”/ “THAT’S THE ONE!”

November 2020... kind of. Figure Skating (Sport)

Okay this one is a bit hard to explain. 

I have been a DIE HARD figure skating for A LOOOOOONG time. My grandmother got me a hat from the 2002 Olympics in Salt Lake City and I remember watching even then. But I first became consciously aware of different skaters, my faves, etc. from about 2010. I vividly remember watching Plushenko skating in 2014 while on a school trip to Hawaii, and my friends laughing at me as I yelled at the TV.

But I didn’t TRULY get involved in the fandom side of it until this year. I had all this knowledge bottled up, but didn’t have any skating friends to talk to... UNTIL NOW. Super ironic that this happened in a year with almost NO skating, but I’ll take what I can get ;) Also did I stay up until FOUR-GODDAMN-THIRTY IN THE MORNING a few nights ago to stream Japanese Nationals on my phone??? YOU BET I DID.

Joined the fandom: Three times; 2002, 2010, and 2020. Obsession peaked: 2014? 2018? Idk it peaks any time someone does something amazing. Fandom friends: Rachel, my girl @idancewiththefairies​, WHY DIDN’T I INTRODUCE YOU TO THIS SOONER??? Obsession faded: Hasn’t. Won’t. lol Fanfics you NEED to read: NOPE. NONE. NOT GONNA HAPPEN. No fanfics about real people. Never gonna change that. (some of my) Favourite moments:

Tessa Virtue and Scott Moir doing THAT routine at the 2018 Olympics.

Rachel​ sheepishly admitting to me that Shoma may have replaced Yuzu as her favourite, and me being SO DAMN PROUD of her for growing and developing her own skating opinions apart from me.

Yuzu’s 2012 ‘Romeo and Juliet’ routine and Worlds. THE RAW FUCKING POWER OF THAT SKATE.

Plushenko, cheeky bastard, changing his 2014 Team Event routine AS IT WAS HAPPENING.

The worlds friendliest rivalry between Yuzu and Nathan.

Any thing the Shibutani’s do, and all they do to break up the stereotype that all of Ice Dancing has to be rOmAnTiC and SeNsUaL to be good.

Watching my early faves become coaches and the D R A M A.

Honorable Mentions:

Coco (Film): I watched this the weekend I came home and I owe this movie a lot. It is so sweet an heartwarming, and it a roundabout way it brought me back to Tumblr (needed somewhere to vent my feelings considering I watched the movie a solid THREE YEARS after it came out, Tumblr seemed like the place to go lol). Watched in again in 2020 and it’s just as amazing.

Jekyll and Hyde (All media): Loved this book from the first time I read it in my first year of uni. But in December 2019, my fandom understanding reached its PEAK. The musical?? The comic?? YOOOOOO.

Dear Evan Hansen (Musical): I have BARELY engaged in fandom discourse, but the MUSIC. She fucking SLAPS.

Sirius the Jaeger (TV Series): This show is such an underrated gem. It literally has so much; "dead” family drama? Eclectic international group of monster hunters? Cowboys and vampires?? Yes, yes, and YES. And the main character has the same Japanese voice actor as Atsushi from BSD!

Studio Ghilbi (Films): My love affair with Ghibli goes back to when I was about 5 and BEGGED my mom to take me to the library so we could rent Kiki’s Delivery Service on DVD. But that love has been FULLY rejuvenated this year when I went to the Ghibli Film Festival in New York City (ironically in the last week in February). If you haven’t seen them, go watch From Up On Poppy Hill, Whisper of the Heart, and The Wind Rises. Spoilers, you’re probably gonna cry.

If you’ve made it this far, THANK YOU FOR READING! 

And thank you to all the amazing people that made my 2020 not so horrible. Good riddance 2020, don’t let the door hit you on the way out!

[icouldntfindquiet]

Thanks for the tag @catb-fics! ❤️

1. Why did you choose your url?

I wanted my URL to be my Wattpad account but it was taken. 😭 Then I looked into song lyrics but thought all the good Catfish ones got taken so I looked into The National. At the time, I really loved the song Pink Rabbits so I wanted to pull lyrics from that song and that’s the story! The lyrics are strange but I like it. Sometimes you just want to get away for a bit and find some quiet and Tumblr is my place to do that if that makes sense. 🙂

2. Any sideblogs?

Nope! Just this one. I’m trying so hard not to make another one, hence why I combine CATB and photography on here.

3. How long have you been on Tumblr?

I’m a longtime lurker! I was avoiding making an account bc I didn’t want to get addicted. But alas I have no willpower and cracked. I made this account end of December 2020 so it’s almost been 6 months?

4. Do you have a queue tag?

Do you mean queue? What’s a queue tag? I did queue my posts at the beginning bc I love that feature. I wish Wattpad had a queue for writing! But I stopped bc I thought it was weird. That people would think I’m online when I’m not if that makes sense.

5. Why did you start your blog in the first place?

The CATB Tumblr community looked like a lot of fun so I wanted to join! Ya know...to obsess over CATB some more as if I don’t do it enough!

6. Why did you choose your icon?

Because Van McCann and dogs! Need I say more?!

7. Why did you choose your header?

I wanted to personalize my blog by adding a picture I took. This photo matched my blog’s color scheme the most.

8. What’s your post with the most notes?

Y’all love rainbow Van so much! The CATB covers compilation is a close second!

9. How many mutuals do you have?

I can’t be bothered to count but I love them all. ❤️

10. How many followers do you have?

94 but it’s actually less than that bc of all the spam bots that got deleted.

11. How many people do you follow?

50 blogs but most are inactive or don’t post much. I’d follow you all but I HATE having a cluttered feed! I’m the type who has to see everything, and if I’m unable to, it stresses me out. Please don’t take it personally if I don’t follow you! 😭

12. Have you ever made a shitpost?

Of course! Many times! 😁

Bernie sitting memes: x and x

CAPTCHA test: x

There are more...just gotta dig for it.

13. How often do you use Tumblr a day?

I’m on Tumblr WAY too much! I check it throughout the day.

14. Did you ever have a fight/argument with another blog once?

Nope! I’m dead peaceful. 😌

15. How do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts?

Depends on what they are. If they’re pointless like “reblog this for good luck” then nope. But if it’s important or helpful, then yes. I don’t think I’ve come across many posts like this. 🤔

16. Do you like tag games?

Yeah they’re fun but a lot of work! I think I’ve been writing this for half an hour now. 😬

17. Do you like ask games?

Of course! They’re so much fun! I’m sorry if I’m annoying you with them. 😅

18. Which of your mutuals is Tumblr famous?

Basically everyone! Everyone adds value to the CATB community. You’re all nice and funny people!

19. Do you have a crush on a mutual?

No crush but I wanna be friends with all of you. 🥺

20. Tags:

Only do it if you want! And if I missed you and you wanna do it, feel free to tag me! I honestly don’t mind! x

@vanmccannonlyfans @vananamccann @youlovehermadly @louistbottlemen @ifluctuateaboutu @bohf1 @tyyrants @vanmccantfish

[softpine]

after i criticized my own worst editing choices, @pigeonhome​ said i should do my favorites too so here we go :’) editing evolution - positive edition:

1. june 2018

i think this was the first post i ever looked at and went “wow i Did That” lmao :’) i remember the in-game lighting being soo dark and blue, so i spent a lot of time making it look warm and cozy. plus, this is the first time i posed more than a few sims at a time, and EVERYTHING went wrong but i kept trying... so considering how old this is, i’m still a little proud of it?

2. july 2018

if you remember the “to my sweet daughter” letter you’re a real one skjdjd it was the first time i tried Real Storytelling with a plot and everything. i wanted it to look like a hazy memory with a voice-over, and i honestly still think it looks pretty good!! plus it set up caroline’s entire life story, so it’ll always have a lil space in my heart :’)

3. october 2018

this gave me stranger things vibes and i was really proud fjskjd also this is around the time when i started paying attention to good angles & framing!! thus begins my undying love for parallel lines

4. december 2018

okay this framing is bomb and i stand by that. i was really into the brown/gray grungy tones at the time, but i think the plain colors are pretty fitting. now that i think about it, i’m pretty sure this was my first defined aesthetic?

5. may 2019

this is the coolest thing i’ve ever done sjdkjs it was the first time i used the saved camera angles, and also this is the crispest gif i’ve ever made.. idk how i pulled that off. but i still love it to this day

6. late may 2019

dsv let’s gooooo.... i love this picture because it was the very first time we saw cara after she ran away. she’s looking ROUGH because that’s how she sees herself in the mirror. i made everything in her surroundings look as dirty and sad as i possibly could, and desaturated the colors because her world was literally & figuratively gray. in terms of actual aesthetics, the dsv era was pretty ugly... but it’s hands down my favorite editing choice and i think it served its purpose well!

7. june 2019

my favorite photo set of all time... i wanted it to look like they were literally in heaven ;-; the coloring is a little harsh but i’m still really happy with this post

8. september 2019

this is when i figured out exactly what direction i wanted to take my story, and the kind of aesthetic i wanted to follow. i also think it was a really cute way to show asa growing up, without doing a standard birthday post (i try to avoid those bc they get pretty repetitive)

9. february 2020

people ripped on this post like none other... but i still really like it. i think it turned out really cinematic and cool, and it was the first time i tried something new like that!! this picture in particular is cool because it shows the immediate aftermath of finn’s angry outburst. it’s like this moment of calm before everything starts closing in and he realizes what he just did.

10. march 2020

i love this picture so much... i took a picture of [redacted] on a green screen, then took a picture of the trees, and edited them together. i didn’t know if it would look seamless enough but i think it turned out really pretty and soft :’) and i made my own light leaks for this post by blurring pictures of real sunsets that i took irl, i just thought that was a neat personal touch! the only thing i wish i had done was redraw her shoulder, idk why it’s jagged like that lmao but overall i love this one

so yeah!! sorry for yet another mile long post jdksjd but it’s definitely motivating to see how far i’ve come! plus being able to look at old posts and find the good qualities in them is also good imo. they’re basically like the foundation you’re building the rest of your house on lmao and yeah that’s all thanks for reading :’)

[starr-fall-knight-rise]

Humans are Weird, “M-Flu.”

Here is a little fluff for you all bc today I am also posting another chapter.

Sorry about the wait but I decided to take a bit of a hiatus over Thanksgiving, but now I am back :) 

It was early December, or so the humans said. Krill had never really understood the human’s need to split up time like that. The Vrul did, of course, keep track of their planet’s revolution around their star but that was simply numerically based rather than starting the count over every month like the humans did. 

It had been a bit busier than usual which was rather odd. You would think, on a spaceship, that illnesses would be relatively common due to the closed in area with a bunch of people side by side, and that it would not be affected by the time of year like it was on earth. However, he supposed that allowing the humans leave planetside so close to their sickest season was probably the reason.

Still blew his mind to  consider that humans had a time of year where epidemics and pandemics were more common. So common, in fact, that the humans just accepted getting sick as a fact of life, and often continued to go to work and be around other people during that time. Of course, this behavior used to be worse, but even with the widespread use of surgical masks during sickness, things still continued to spread.

He found himself, pleased, once again that he was incapable of catching human illnesses, though he did his best to stay away from plant life on other planets seeing as you never knew what he could catch from other species of plant, to which he was more similar than he was to animals like the humans or the Drev.

He reached upwards and plucked a clipboard from one of the nurses before turning towards the door and scuttling out.. He needed to go speak with the commander about the increased rate of infectivity aboard the ship. He was under the impression it would be best to begin a quarantine on some of the more sick patients. Yes it was true that the average human would not be taken out by the flu, but by his calculations it greatly decreased productivity.

Better to keep humans healthy and lose a few people than it was to allow everyone to only work at half capacity.

He greeted members of the crew as he floated the stairs and onto the bridge stepping through the door and approaching the captain’s chair… a chair which was empty…. That was strange? This was around the time the commander went over ship diagnostics. He did this every morning and despite being a very impulsive man who wasn’t prone to keeping schedule, this was a part of his day he didn’t tend to change.

Krill spun in a wide circle looking around trying to find the man as if he expected to see him hanging from the ceiling, though, now that he thought about it. He totally expected to see something like that.

There was a clatter on the stairs behind him, and he turned to find Sunny stepping into the room.

She looked around in equal confusion to him.

“Good morning.” She said in the traditional human greeting, “Have you seen Adam?”

Krill shook his head, another human gesture, “I was just about to ask you the same thing.” He held up the clipboard he was holding , “I came to speak to him about medical protocol aboard the ship.

Sunny hummed, “Well, I came to him about, this.” SHe turned and pointed downwards just in time for Krill to see three of the spiderlings clambering their way up the steps mewling and growling angrily on their way after Sunny. Krill inflated his helium sack and hovered out of reach of the spiderlings, who honestly scared the hell out of him, especially Glados.

Sunny stuck out a foot trying to hold the aforementioned monster at bay, but all three of them continued to squeal and chirp. 

“That’s strange.” Krill began, they never left Adam’s side if they could help it, and Glados didn’t particularly like sunny all that much, so none of this made particular sense. Hal, the smallest of the spiderlings chirped the little vocal folds at the back of it’s throat oscillating and vibrating. It was an ALMOST human sound but as if heard from a distorted speaker. 

It was actually kind of freaky.

“Where is Conn, maybe he’d know what’s going on.”

“Speak of the devil, and the devil shall appear.” The electronic voice responded from behind them. From the other end of the room, Conn floated forward, his solar ribbons billowing out behind him in long undulating tendrils. Lights on the signing gloves lit up as he made the human language gestures which were then converted into words by way of a speaker, “They are very unhappy…. Worried even.”

Sunny shifted nervously, “What do you mean.”

“I’m not entirely sure. Their language is very rudimentary you see. Their language centers are not completely developed enough for me to read their minds. I can only sense feelings only to a certain degree.” He paused, “It is a smell, a bad smell a dangerous smell.” He tilted his head to the side.

Sunny glanced towards Krill, “Gas leak?”

Conn shook his head, “No….. it seems….. Biological if that makes any sense to you, not that I entirely understand what that means.”

“Latrine backup.” Sunny commented wryly unable to help herself.

Krill glared at her, “very helpful of you, Sunny. Glad to see you humor has evolved to be so refined.”  

“Glad to see you even knew that was intended as a joke.”

The Spiderlings squealed again just as the sound of shuffling footsteps, and something dragging across the ground reached their ears.

Thud, thud, thud onto the metal catwalk.

Together, the two of them turned just in time to see the commander haul himself onto the bridge. Or at least, it looked like something that should have been the commander. His face was flushed bright red especially around the cheeks and neck. His eyes were red and puffy with dark circles under them. His hair was matted with sweat. He was wrapped in a large blanket like a cape which dragged on the ground behind him.

He hadn’t changed from his sweatpants.

And he was shivering violently despite both a long sleeve shirt, a hoodie, and the blanket.

He looked like a zombie.

Krill and Sunny watched as he oozed past like some sort of zombie hybrid slug and slumped into the captain’s chair. His sniffled a bit before erupting into a violent coughing fit. The sound was wet and rattling, a clear sign of chest congestion. 

Waffles, the dog, followed at his feet with clear concern in her large brown eyes.

The human snuffled again.

He turned to look at them from the depths of his hoodie and blanket cloak, “I think I’m dying.” he said sounding rather resigned to that fact.

Sunny looked nervous and went to step forward, but Kril held her off, “Wait there, and keep the spiderlings away.” he moved forward floating to the human’s head height. Even without his thermal vision he could feel the heat radiating from the human’s body, but still he switched receptors for a proper look.

One hundred and four degrees by the human’s reckoning.

“Sick for sure commander. Sunny head down to the medical bay and order that quarantine protocol. I was going to ask the commander about it, but he hardly seems capable of giving orders at the moment. Have his second take over and then get someone to babysit the spiderlings. Take them to Ramirez and Maverick, they get along well enough.

“Quarantine.” The commander muttered.

“Yes commander, we have alien lifeforms aboard the ship, and no way to know how the illness will affect them. Furthermore we want to make sure no one else catches it.”

“I think I am dying.” The man repeated absently groaning quietly as his shivering grew worse. 

“Don’t say that commander, you’re making me nervous. Save the announcements of death till after our tests.”

“Such a Diva.” Sunny commented trying to be funny though she sounded more concerned.

“Go on.” Krill ordered, and she did as told, scooping up the mewling spiderlings and walking from the room. Krill got the commander back to his feet and heard the sniffling coughing humans down the hallway. He was hunched over like some sort of invalid and moved more slowly than Krill, who was arguably the slowest being on the ship.

“Come on, Commander.”

“I don’t think I can make it.” The human sniffled piteously.

“Well you better because no one is going to carry you, now come on.” contrary to the human’s earlier statement, they made it to the medical bay in one peace. By Krill’s orders the rest of the medical team was ready with the protocol all wearing masks, gloves and surgical glasses. Perhaps they saw the entire thing as overkill, but he didn’t want anyone else getting sick.

They sat the human down on one of the medical beds, and Krill proceeded to learn that their Commander was quite pathetic when he was sick. This coming from a human who would run into dangerous situations skipping and singing show tunes now whimpered complaints and begged for medicine.

Halfway through their examination, another human came walking onto the bridge. 

Narobi from down in engineering. She stood straight and tall but Krill immediately noticed her elevated body temperature. Her dark skin made the ravaging heat less obvious, but her reddened eyes and the beads of sweat collecting on her forehead was enough. Though comparatively he wouldn't have been able to tell something was wrong otherwise. She was dressed in her engineering jumpsuit, and was rather well put together.

Krill glanced between her and the commander who lay mewling on the bed like an overly vocal puddle.

She smiled wryly, “I see I am not the only one then?” her voice was scratchy and somewhat congested. She was forced to clear her throat at least once the deep rattling in her chest also present.

“Krill walked over to her.”

“Symptoms.”

She took a polite seat on the edge of one of the beds, “Fever, chills, aches, cough, nausea, dizziness..” 

Krill glanced over at the commander again, who had his single eye trained on them and had suddenly stopped complaining.

He smiled inwardly,. Narobi was looking at him too with a raised eyebrow, “Good morning commander.”

He sat up slowly stifling a cough, “Good morning, Narobi.” he tried to stifle a shiver.

A wry smile, “Don’t let me interrupt commander. It was a stirring performance, I am close to tears.” Krill wasn’t exactly the best with detecting sarcasm made worse by the fact that her face did not change once while she said that sentence, so he couldn't be entirely sure if she was being facetious or not.

He began to cough again, “I Wasn't acting.” he grumbled defensively looking at her with a serious expression. That didn’t last long however as he was overcome with a violent bout of shivering and a cough eventually leaning back eyes watering form violent outburst one hand on his chest, “Never mind, this is bullshit. Go on just sit there and be a badass, I'll just be over here dying and looking pathetic.”

“Man flu?” She wondered wryly

“You know what,-” Cough, “I will have you know that that is totally a real thing, and I will not be shamed for it.”

Krill turned from his work, “Actually, according to our tests. Both  of you have the flu. The same strain probably got it at the same time. We will have to monitor the rest of the crew to make sure it does not spread further than the two of you before determining how dangerous it will be to other species especially the Drev. IN the interest of keeping the rest of the crew healthy for the time being, both of you will be isolated and monitored here.”

“Don’t you think that is going a bit overboard?” Narobi wondered 

The commander moaned.

“Actually, I think you humans don’t take illness seriously enough. Just because something is normal, doesn’t mean it's acceptable, and letting people suffer by themselves or allowing them to contaminate other people isn’t acceptable in my hospital.”

There was no arguing with the little doctor as he ordered the humans moved into the clear plastic contamination chamber and ordered to change. Both now wearing light blue scrubs they were ordered into bed, which of course the commander whined that he was still cold and had to be brought a stack of blankets with the great inner eye rolling of Krill, who, had learned from dr Katie, that they were not likely to die from such an illness, so he didn’t have to be THAT worried. Though he was still a little worried, and quickly moved to disguise his concern with a businesslike manner.

When Sunny came to visit that night she was distrubed by what she saw. She had never actually seen a sick human before, which was a wonder considering how long she had been on the ship. The powerful creatures she had come to know as indomitable were curled up in the darkness in isolation. Both of them were shivering between painful coughing fits. Their skin was pale and both were drenched in sweat.

The commander had, over the course of the last few hours slid down from the bed with all the pillows and blankets he had acquired and made some sort of delirious makeshift nest for himself on the floor the pillows being the base and the blankets wrapped around him like a human filled burrito only his mouth and nose being entirely visible. The other human was curled up on her side head resting on one arm.

She sighed quietly.

At her feet the dog whimpered as she looked through the clear plastic drape.

Sunny looked towards Krill with worry, “Are ... are they ok?”

Krill walked to stand next to Sunny, “It looks ugly, but Dr. Katie tells me that thousands of humans get it every year and survive without medical intervention, so they should be ok.”

Sunny glanced towards the containment opening.

“IS it contagious.”

He glanced over at her and then sighed realizing what she planned on doing, “With this strain, only for humans.”  With their unspoken agreement made, she stepped forward and unzipped the outer layer whistling for the dog who jumped in after her. She close it off and then opened the door into the other room closing it behind her.

The interior was hot and muggy, and there was a strange smell on the air.

IF sunny knew one thing about humans, it was how social they were. If that was the case, it just seemed wrong to her to leave them suffering alone in the dark. She was about to head towards the commander when the other human curled up and shivering caught her eye. With  a call she motioned the dog over patting the bed next to the human. The dog, seeming happy enough to help jumped up next to the human and lay down immediately.

Sunny was pleased at the smile smile she received from, closed-eyes human who reached out a hand and began stroking the dog’s velvety ears. The dog scooted closer curled up against the human’s stomach. The human wrapped an arm around the dog, and maybe it was just Sunny’s imagination, but thought the human’s shivering died somewhat.

Pleased that one of the humans was taken care of, she walked over to where Adam was curled up on the floor shivering and coughing. He sighed in an agonistic sort of way. She grabbed a cup from the side table and filled it with water returning to the human.

She knelt next to him and prodded him through the blankets, “Adam.”

The human shifted sitting up from inside his cocoon. 

She had noticed that habit some humans had, especially him. Upset, in pain, sick, they liked to make nests for themselves out of anything comfortable and fluffy in the immediate area. He looked at her with bleary eyes shivering, “Sunny..?” His skin was cold and clammy, and she could see the wet patches from sweat on his chest and stomach. He would be losing water quickly like that.

She handed him the water, “Drink, or Krill is going to get an IV on you instead.” The human grumbled but complied.

He finished the water but was hit with another racking cough that had him doubled over. Sunny sat back in worried confusion. The human sat up snuffling and groaned, “my back.” He muttered, “hurts so bad, but it’s so cold.” 

Sunny held out a hand to feel the heat radiating from the human’s skin.

She wasn’t entirely convinced about the cold thing, but took him at his word piling his blankets back on top of him.

She stood and returned to the other human urging a cup of water into her hand before returning to Adam, who had burrowed himself away like some kind of slimy lizard. She took a seat next to him learning against the wall and nodded to Krill who watched her from the outside. He would have been able to come in too, but he was dealing with other patients at the moment. 

She leaned back against the wall dozing a bit woken at some point in the darkness as something moved close to her crawling up to rest itself on her legs. She looked down to find the pile of blankets and pillows shifted next to her human pressed up against her. She pulled the blankets back curiously only to find the human looking worse than ever.

His eye had a strange glassy quality, he had stopped shivering but for a subdued tremor. The eye closed and he slumped against the ground half asleep or nearly dead she wouldn't have been able to tell accept for the back and forth movement of his head as he began to dream. 

He moaned in pain or fear she still wasn’t sure..

She grabbed the human with her lower arms and adjusted his blankets with the others letting him rest in her lap hoping whatever he was dreaming about would subside before it woke him up. It scared her to watch  as the virus ravaged through the human’s body. He thrashed in his sleep disquieted waking up only to fall asleep again in the same cycle. His breathing was raspy and labored. HIs body quaked with the cold one moment, and then he was pushing the blankets away for the extreme heat in the next moment. The coughing was the worst, beginning with full body spasms and ending with the human hunched over in agony at the end the shivering causing the already aching muscles even greater pain worsened by coughing. Sunny tried to help tried to get the two humans as much water as she could.

On the other side of the room, the dog licked the human’s arm in sympathy as she shivered. She had to leave in the morning to get her duties finished decontaminated before leaving, and came back later that evening when the dog was getting up from Adam to move back to the other human.

Sunny looked at Krill for an update.

He shook his head, “They woke up, but they didn’t eat. Been resting pretty uneasily, Commander says he keeps having nightmares. Narobi reports her dreams aren't exactly pleasant either. Dog seems to help, she's been keeping them good company.”

Sunny nodded, “It looks so…. Painful.” 

“You have anything like it on your planet?”  He wondered.

“Rot lung I guess, but its slower, sort of a lifelong thing…. I suppose you can also get infections caused by wounds, and there are a few others, but nothing like this.”

He nodded, “We can get skin rot pretty easily, but we have dealt with it. The blight is pretty bad and can leave you deformed…. I just can’t believe they find something like this normal.” 

“I’m gonna head back in, seems kind of wrong to keep the humans isolated.”

Krill didn’t argue letting her return to check on the far human first. Setting up some more water, stroking the dog’s ears and then returning to Adam. He was asleep as of just then half in and half out of his blankets like he couldn’t decide whether he was warm or cold. She wrapped him back up, and he absently curled up against her in his sleep. His hand rested against the floor leaving a humid mark behind it once she tucked it back in his blankets.

The worst of the symptoms lasted for three days with the humans only getting up to drink some water and go to the bathroom.

By the fourth morning Sunny was sitting in her usual spot as the human shifted and sat up.

He touched a hand to his forehead, and turning to look at him she found the redness gone from his face from the fever that had been raging past two days.

He glanced over at her looking a bit surprised, “Shit…. I thought I dreamed you being here the whole time.”

“No, I determined it was improper to leave humans isolated.”

He coughed lightly and winced, “Sure you did….” He either winked at her or just blinked, with only one eye she had trouble telling, “keeping acting like this and people are going to start thinking you like me.”

She snorted and pushed him over with one hand, “Go back to sleep you big idiot.”

He didn’t sit back up,”Mmmm probably a good idea. I feel like I got hit by a truck.”

“You look like you got hit by a truck.”

He rolled over trying to make himself comfortable, “Rude.”

She leaned her head back against the wall, “What…. Did that feel like? I have never seen anything like it before…. It scared me.”

The human snorted then coughed again, “Depends on what you’re asking about. Your throat hurts like your esophagus is lined in sandpaper, your face hurts because of the pressure in your nose from the swelling and all the gunk in your sinuses. Your entire body just aches made worse by the shivering which makes those muscles hurt more. Then the coughing comes in, and that just adds to the issue and it hurts your throat. Your chest is congested so it's hard to breathe, and it hurts. Generally your head hurts too, and your fever is so high it's just hard to think. When you sleep it isnt well and the dreams are weird as shit. At the worst of it, you're not even sure if you are awake or not….. Short answer is it sucks.”

“I’m sorry….. You humans really got dealt a shit hand…. I never thought it would be so….”

“Easy to take out a human?” 

“Yeah…”

“Id say a lot of the stuff we evolved to survive also made our lives shit….. The fever comes to kill off the virus or bacteria or whatever, but it can also cause brain damage if it goes to high, which is kind of a bummer, plus it feels terrible.”

She patted his shoulder in sympathy.

He curled up and sighed, no longer shivering and promptly fell back asleep.

By the fifth day, the humans were sitting up and eating and even walking around a little. Day six they were declared no longer contagious but ordered to wear surgical masks. Still they were left weak achy and commander vir spent much of the time sleeping curled up in another makeshift nest, this time in his own rooms.

The other human approached sunny upon leaving grabbing her by the arm to stop her before, “Thank you, Sunny…. I know you were really there for the commander, but I appreciate you thinking of me.”

Sunny tilted her head in surprise confused that the human would thank her for something so minor, by the time sunny had thought of anything to say, the other human was already gone.

She thought she now understood why ril was always so worried about his humans.

Humans getting sick was actually kind of scary.

She didn’t like it