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rebellionbeach · 3 years ago

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HELLO apparently July 28th is the release date for Down to Earth therefore in honor of its 42nd birthday I wanna do a ranking of all the songs based on my personal preference of course.

(I’m only doing songs from the original studio release sorry no Bad Girl or Weiss Heim but they’re both sexy ;))

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lwCsMQWkN3g

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7YOM4gx3RE (spark don’t mean a fire aka the alternate version don’t worry it’s beautiful)

8. No Time To Lose: Starting off this list we’ve got the second song off this record and it isn’t bad in anyway. In fact, it’s very upbeat and energetic, especially with Graham’s absolutely stunning vocals. However, compared to the rest of the list I feel it falls just a bit short. The lyrics themselves are actually pretty dark looking at them with examples such as, “It ain’t no lie, you’re hurting and you don’t know why.” Don’t know what Roger or Ritchie were going through but damn, anyway, musically the song is also very strong. The guitar riff is addicting but I feel it’s the combination of, again, Graham’s vocals and Cozy’s monstrous drumming that gives this song so much energy. Not bad at all from a song that’s at the bottom of a list.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1P17ct4e5OE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_v0bDfZytwk (Russ Ballard version, it’s really good)

7. Since You’ve Been Gone: Listen, I know many may judge this choice but I didn’t put this song at the bottom because of one, the sentimental value it has, and two, it’s not a bad song at all. Okay, it’s not the best as well but Russ Ballard made a beautiful song about heartbreak that is only made greater by this glorious lineup. I’ve actually listened to Ballard’s originally version and while it isn’t bad, I feel that Graham really helped cement this song and really put Rainbow on the charts. I especially enjoy the interlude section that drops into a sweet ballad type tone before dropping back into the chorus. Graham’s versatile vocals are well-equipped to amplify this song to a new level and not only that but without this song I probably would have never started listening to Rainbow. Although very commercialized and maybe too light to many, this song holds a special place in my heart and I do love it dearly.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g2XDORONuuY

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WmQBKq0d_-I (Cozy Powell mix, yes it’s exactly what you’d think it would sound like if the drummer was the producer)

6. All Night Long: The second real commercialized song on this album and honestly the last. However, where it differs from the other is that this song still has big traces of that hard rock attitude that Rainbow had emerged into. That simple yet beautiful riff that gets stuck in your head, Cozy’s powerful drumming, Graham’s powerhouse vocals, I mean what else do you really want from a song. Just from that opening riff you feel that rush of just pure hard rock energy shiver through your body. It really is just a fun hard rock song that, although may not be anything too complex, isn’t bad at all.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EeVFTeXs1o8

5. Danger Zone: Danger Zone always stood out to me as a very interesting and different song. Don is absolutely phenomenal in this song, especially his keyboard solo which Ritchie follows up upon to make a beautiful instrumental section. I’d be remiss to not mention Graham who hits at some of his highest parts here. This song really showed off the prowess of his full vocal abilities, hitting high notes with all the strength you’d expect from a hard rock singer. The actual lyrics of the song are quite beautiful as well I believe. Parts such as, “Don’t understand when you’re looking for a dame but it’s only a heartbreak away. And you’ll learn, faking has no return.” Really suspecting some mental instability from either Roger or Ritchie at this point...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O8FcrH1lDeY

4. Eyes of the World: Many may be surprised why this song isn’t higher up the list but trust me, I have good reasons. Eyes of the World is definitely a highlight piece in this album and really is a final goodbye to the Dio era of Rainbow. The subject manner is very of that era and really feels like it could have been sung by Ronnie. I think to many this song helped alleviate the fears that Rainbow had gone fully vapid with it’s material (though we’ll see how that sentiment drags on throughout the next few years) Don Airey truly deserves the limelight here for that incredible keyboard intro that just sucks you into that dark world of evil. He really makes this song something truly special. Cozy Powell is phenomenal throughout all these tracks but especially in this track where he’s at his home environment and just listen to the interludes between the chorus and verse, just incredible. Then to our man of the hour, Graham Bonnet, he just absolutely kills it here. He puts so much passion and emotion into the vocals that I find it strange how anyone could possibly still doubt him as a suitable vocalist for the band. Ritchie’s solo here as well is probably one of my favorites off of this album just really makes this song something truly special. I often like to compare this piece to the Gates of Babylon or Tarot Woman to Down to Earth with an incredible keyboard intro and other-wordly themes of evil and darkness that make it a classic Rainbow tune.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iU__fm6QFvk

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lzQZoOvzzNo (Ain’t A Lot of Love In the Heart of Me, it’s brilliant and honestly parts are somewhat better than the final version lol)

3. Love’s No Friend: I remember reading an article that talked about this song being Rainbow’s Mistreated. That description always had stayed with me and while I partially agree with the statement, I also think this song is very different from the former. Yes, both deal with heartbreak and emanates a grandiose sense of grievance from that sentiment however it differs in how that sentiment is delivered. Mistreated, as stated by Blackmore, is really just a guitar song. The relies both on David’s great bluesy voice that can conceive that anguish in his voice like no other vocalist can (love ya Dave) and Blackmore’s just heart-wrenching solo at the end which is probably one of the most emotional guitar solos I’ve ever heard. With Love’s No Friend I find that it’s more of a complete package having all elements of the band contribute to the piece. Not that but the lyrics are much more refined in this song. I often find Mistreated’s lyrics very stale and boring since they’re basically just “I’ve been mistreated, I’ve been abused,” and the only reason they get away with that is because of David’s incredible vocal performances. Trust me, Graham’s an incredible performer as well but these lyrics have much more substance to them and I feel just stands taller as a complete song. Speaking of Graham, this is probably his strongest performance in the album. You know what part I’m talking about if you’ve listened to this song but THAT part is just wow, that solidified him as one of my favorite vocalists of all time. The entire song is really just a masterpiece and really just stands as one of the best Rainbow tunes in my opinion.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F1LvViMLKNo

2. Makin’ Love - Oh this song, how can I express my love for this song in ways that I haven’t already before. Well if you didn’t know before, I put this as #5 on my top 5 Rainbow tunes and I still stick to it. Let me just say, this is one of my favorite intros to any songs ever. Don Airey is just magical in this entire album (and his entire career) but he especially shines here. The simple yet beautiful little touches he adds throughout this song really makes it so much more profound. That, once again, addicting Blackmore riff that just goes on throughout the song making the listener feel as if they’re going through a lonely yet sentimental walk down memory lane. It kind of almost reminds me of one of my favorite Rick Springfield songs, Written In Rock, in that manner. I guess I’m just a sucker for a pretty love ballad but man does Graham make it even better. The man just had the perfect voice for these types of songs (please listen to Will You Be Home Tonight as an example) and he’s able to convey those vulnerable tones in his voice while maintaining that strong hard rock attitude like I’ve seen no other singer be able to. I didn’t even mention the sudden shift during the pre-chorus that’s complimented with Cozy’s ferocious cymbal playing. Overall, I’m just a sucker for a nice love song.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mRLHHftZEJA

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7eRLQyXzZ1Y (the live Alcatrazz version because Yngwie is a cocky little piece of work and gets his guitar unplugged for 1 minute of the song, Graham is a beast here)

1. Lost In Hollywood - The magnum opus, probably not only the greatest Rainbow song but one of the greatest songs ever written and produced. I’ve already gone into detail about this song in my overall album review but just on first listening you can definitely tell that this song is something else. The energy, the tempo, is almost seems rushing like they’re running out of time on the record to give everything they wanted to show to the listener. The lyrics sort of remind me of Super Trouper (the Deep Purple one okay) if Super Trouper was an overdramatic and grandiose love ballad. It’s obvious that the song is talking about the overbearing nature of becoming famous and the sacrifices one has to make to get to the mantle. One of my favorite song lyrics of all time perfectly exemplify this through, “I’m gonna lose control, if I’ve been losing you to pay for rock and roll.” They’re lost in Hollywood, not just the actual place but the lifestyle that befits every star. I still think that Super Trouper as a song is a more profound piece on the effects of stardom as a whole but this song as well is beautifully written to talk about those themes in maybe not so personal manners. The song really is just a beautiful showcase of the talents that were the Mark 4 lineup of Rainbow and stands in my eyes as one of the finest pieces of music ever created.

Yeah, I’ve probably over exaggerated enough. Once again, I’m very biased here but I’m also speaking with my own tastes and experiences in mind. Despite the constant lineup changes, Blackmore always seems to find the most top-notch musicians and I believe this lineup truly exemplified that. It’s a shame that they couldn’t continue on but at least we got this album as a glorious reminder of what 5 musicians can do with enough talent and probably alcohol.

Also, the hallmark of all live performances: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I5VPzJlUKVc

#rainbow #rainbow band #ritchie blackmore #cozy powell #don airey #roger glover #graham bonnet #well it's not july 28th anymore #i love this lineup dearly #graham is my ichibansan #look forward to the 28 page thesis on why graham bonnet was the best rainbow vocalist up next

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qaraxuanzenith · 4 years ago

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What’s your favorite show with good Jewish representation?

Hey there! Thank you for the question!

I can think of only one show (followed by a handful of qualified honourable mentions) that I have enjoyed that has good Jewish representation: Covert Affairs.

Without giving too many spoilers, Covert Affairs is a spy show about a CIA agent that has a recurring character who is an Israeli Mossad agent. He has an obviously-but-not-too-stereotypically Israeli/Jewish name, and over the course of his appearances in the show is an unquestionably heroic character, who is loyal to both his country and his friends, even when that means navigating the conflicts between those two loyalties. He and the main character of the show save each other’s lives numerous times. Importantly, the show doesn’t shy away from his Israeli-ness or his Jewish-ness, even though those are far from his only or dominant character traits. He talks up how amazing his country is to the protagonist from his first appearance, and the show acknowledges how certain countries / situations are more dangerous for him than for our heroine because he is Israeli, and he casually quotes the Talmud to her. The show never specifies how observant he is; we don’t know if he’s Orthodox, Reform, secular, religious - because his personal observances don’t matter so much as the fact that his Judaism is an important part of his life that informs his conversation and his outlook.

I will share my 5 honourable mentions under the cut.

Honourable mention 1: Babylon Five

I can’t call Babylon Five a favourite show of mine with good Jewish rep, because I’ve never seen it (other than five minutes my dad showed me when I was little of a Jewish character lighting a chanukiyah in space). But what I know of it makes me want to see it because of its good Jewish representation - I don’t know if this is spoilers, since I’ve never watched the show, but I understand that at one point, a Jewish community leader approaches a Jewish major character to discuss why she has not yet sat shiva / said Kaddish for her deceased father.

Honourable mention 2: The Nanny

Strictly speaking, I can’t say The Nanny is good Jewish representation. It doesn’t show a diversity of Jewish characters (and certainly none who relate to their Judaism the way I do), and instead reinforces many Jewish stereotypes. It gives a (spoilers, but the show aired about 30 years ago) happy ending in which the Jewish woman marries her non-Jewish romantic lead and joins his non-Jewish family, which is... disappointing and unsurprising in television. Nevertheless, a few points in its favour: it may not represent my view of Judaism, but it was pitched and produced by Fran Drescher to represent an accurate(-ish) portrait of her experience of Judaism; despite the annoying stereotypes being reinforced, the character of Fran is, throughout, vocal, proud, and unapologetic about her own Judaism, which we don’t seem often enough; and Fran unabashedly loves Israel and even (spoilers?) brings the whole family on a trip to a kibbutz in a late-season episode.

Honourable mention 3: Srugim

I don’t think Srugim should count for this question, because it’s an Israeli show made for a Jewish/Israeli audience. I also don’t think the portrayals in Srugim are unproblematic; it is, however, the only show I can think of that I’ve seen which includes some/any (not universally offensive) portrayals of Modern Orthodox Jews, and that is something I want to see more of, and which I appreciated seeing in Srugim (okay, the real reason I liked Srugim was for the cameo appearance of Avshalom Kur, that’s real representation for Tanach/language nerds).

Honourable mention 4: The Rugrats

I’m certain this question was not aiming for answers from kids’ shows, and I honestly can’t remember liking Rugrats all that much. But I do remember that it was a rare show with meaningful Jewish content. As I recall, all the babies (with the exception of Angelica?) are explicitly or strongly implied to be Jewish. I have vague memory of an episode in which Tommy’s grandfather speaks to the babies (in an age-appropriate way) about the Shoah, and another in which they act out the story of Pesach in a way that was clearly informed by actual Jewish knowledge. So it gets those sweet, sweet representation points!

Honourable mention 5: Sesame Street / Rechov Sumsum

Okay, now I feel like I’m really reaching. I know Sesame Street made cultural-equivalent shows in many countries, so Rechov Sumsum, as a show made for Jewish-Israeli children audiences, strictly speaking Does Not Count, except I do remember being shown a couple of crossover episodes between Sesame Street and Rechov Sumsum, in which classic Sesame Street characters got invited to a Muppet relative’s Seder, and learned authentic Jewish traditions. I didn’t grow up on a strict diet of Sesame Street like some people did, but this meant a lot to me as a kid!

This post is long enough and I’m trying really hard to not go on Yet Another Representation rant, but I’ve seen a lot of television shows (though obviously there are many more I haven’t seen), and I think it’s sad that I can only think of six shows - one of which I haven’t seen, one of which is Israeli-made, and two of which are children’s shows - that have any degree of good Jewish representation. I can think of plenty of shows - shows I loved, even - that had offensive Jewish representation (and can put together that list, explaining what was offensive / problematic, upon request); I can think of plenty of shows written/produced by Jews that were informed by Jewish ideas but never made anyone or anything explicitly Jewish, and plenty of shows with characters of ambiguous or ambiguously Jewish backgrounds played by Jews, who were never made into actual Jewish representation. But these six are the only ones I can think of that actually provided any real, not-directly-offensive, representation of Jewish people.

If anyone knows of any other shows that meet this bar or did better, I would love to know!

#am i jewish tumblr #jumblr #representation #jewish representation #representation in media #representation matters #representation done right #covert affairs #babylon five #the nanny #srugim #rugrats #sesame street #rechov sumsum #representation rant #solicited judaism rambles #semi-solicited judaism posts

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dragonstoravens · 4 years ago

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Babylon Vol. 1: Freeze Frame, Little Victories, Handled

[ID: a blue patterned banner with text reading “BABYLON.” End ID.]

(Ok this one’s a LONG one, I’ll admit it! But these three chapters-- one Big Boy and two much shorter epilogues-- really go together very well, I didn’t want to separate them. This is one of my favorite parts of book one honestly, so I hope you guys enjoy it too.)

CW: Panic attack

8. Freeze Frame

There wasn’t really any reason for it, it had just been a very long day. A very long day punctuated, of course, by yet another endless fancy dress event, one Trinity needed out of right now. The problem being that he wasn’t alone at this event. He was used to being the brooding wallflower, the kind of man who was noticed when he needed to be, but who no one would notice if he slipped away. Having Azzy there, even though they’d been to several events together by this point, was a very slight change to his usual strategy that made everything just a touch more difficult. Which meant that, right now, it made everything seem pretty much impossible. Trinity wondered if Azzy had noticed how long it had been since he moved his eyes. Or took a breath. He wasn’t sure himself, and if that awareness was slipping it was really time to go. He couldn’t do this in front of her.

“I’ll be right back, dear. Restroom,” he murmured to her, hoping those were the actual words that came out of his mouth. He felt a bit like he was staring at the back of his own head, or watching a vaguely interesting silent film from the back of a drive in theater. He walked away without waiting for a response-- it wasn’t as if he’d hear it, anyway-- making a conscious effort to swing his arms in opposition to his legs as he walked. In his head, he slowly began listing prime numbers, with just enough forethought to pull away from the comm link beforehand. 1. 2. 3. 5. 7. 11. 13? 13. A bead of sweat formed on his temple and rolled slowly down his face. He knew a spot that would be deserted at this time. 17. 19. 23. He turned the corner, and disappeared out of sight from the main ballroom.

Trinity had left all too quickly. Azure wasn’t used to the crowds quite yet, but something in the urgency with which he left concerned her. The comm had been giving her something like static before it turned off entirely, and he almost never turned that off unless he had to. He liked to know when she was getting nervous. Was the link malfunctioning? She was here, alone, and she didn’t even know where he went. Before she could begin mentally mapping the ballroom out to figure out where the bathrooms even were around here, someone in an all-too-boring suit and his date in a tacky, glittery number walked up. She blinked, plastering a smile on her face.

“And to what do I owe the pleasure, Mister…?”

“Please, just call me James. Where is Trinity? I just saw him around here a minute ago, then he disappeared!” Whoever he was, he seemed friendly. Even if his date was sizing her up something fierce. She ran through her last few events, looking for a James in there somewhere to remember. Maybe she should start sticking around for the tax talk. Oh! This was the one from the security agency. She could field that without fucking it up, he’d mentioned it before. She just had to be really noncommittal. Pretend like she knew anything. That’s how Trinity said he used to do it as a teenager.

“Trinity’s currently takin’ care of something elsewhere, I’m sure you understand.” She picked her words carefully. “He should be back in a moment, but these things are always so busy, hardly any time to actually get from A to B without some stops in between.” She tried to remember the way Trinity danced his way through small talk to get to the heart of these issues faster. She’d never understood how he did it, but she’d have to try. She tested the comm and got nothing back. “Honestly, I’m sure the borin’ work things can wait until you see him next time. Please, go enjoy yourselves! I’ll gladly let him know y’all came to see him, he’ll be sorry he missed ya.”

That evasion seemed polite enough for the two of them, as they gave their sincere apologies for not getting to him before he left and went on their merry way. She gave a big exhale, some small sparks shaking off her hands. She shouldn’t stay in one spot or it’d happen again, and this brand of over-polite and accommodating was not her base setting. If she was too formal for too long, she was almost certain she’d begin to chafe. She began a beeline for the refreshments table, eyes always looking out for her date, the stubborn line of her jaw covering for an increasing amount of concern for him.

Her shoulder brushed against someone, jostling her from her thoughts slightly. She really only saw a pristine suit and a hand covered in rings. No, that wasn’t something she could handle right now. Too rich for her blood, and literally.

“Excuse me, my apologies-” was all she offered, continuing on her way. By the time she reached the table, full of wine glasses, she realized too late she’d been followed. But not by the person she’d bumped into. She plastered another smile to her face, picking up a glass and masking her urge to wrinkle her nose at the smell of the wine. She recognized this one: Usually she was with her boy-toy of the week, but today she was alone.

“Denicia, to what do I owe the pleasure? Where’s that darlin’ blond of yours, or have you broken another young man’s heart within the last week?” She punctuated the sentence with a laugh, making sure it was clear she was telling a joke. Internally, she cringed. She wished Trinity was with her, this was where he’d let out a big breath and quietly note some disheveled detail to pick on to make her leave. She didn’t have the eye for it, nor the vocabulary to really properly pull off that particular exit. That was really more Crim’s thing. Which meant she was stuck.

“I was about to ask you the same thing, I’ve looked for him everywhere and I simply can’t imagine you’d cut him loose as quickly as I cut mine, Camilla.” The woman gave a smile full of teeth and Azzy wondered if they were fake or if she just had that big of a mouth. No soft chuckle and joke in return. The silence in the comm made her lonely, but she pushed it aside.

“Oh he’s around. Probably drawin’ up a contract somewhere, you know how he is, always work, no play.” She affected her best pout. This was her least favorite face to put on, the spoiled and slighted lover. If anyone looked at her hands, calloused and scarred, they’d know she was bullshitting, without a doubt, but these people simply weren’t observant or ballsy enough to try and call her on it, and somehow that was worse.

“You poor dear, he’ll come around soon I’m sure. Inboxes don’t stay full forever when that’s the pace you work at.” Denicia patted her on the shoulder sympathetically. “I suppose I won’t bother you with my business then, you’ve got a man to locate before he forgets you’re here. Good luck dear!” and with that she whirled around to disappear into the crowd again, leaving behind a thick floral perfume that made Azure gag. She shook out more sparks and gave a long sigh. She had no idea how Trinity had done this on his own for so long. She looked around to see if anyone was watching too closely, and finished her drink in a single gulp. Then she turned, bumping into another someone with way too many rings.

“Oop, my bad, excuse me!”, she offered a small curtsy and continued on her way, beginning her hunt for Trinity anew, wherever he was. A piercing gaze followed her, but with so many sets of eyes on her already, what was one more? She was so, so close to the bathrooms when a man exited. He recognized her, and plodded in her direction. She wanted to groan.

She knew this one too.

“Camilla! Powdering your nose I assume? The lady always looks ravishing, I can assure you that from where I’m standing you don’t need to.”

“Great to see you, Mister Phineas.” She gave a coy smile, keeping an eye on the doors behind him, mentally cataloguing anyone entering and exiting. She prayed Trinity would save her from this one. “Has your evenin’ been kind to you? You seemed to be spinnin’ one helluva yarn when I passed by earlier.”

Mister Phineas gave a deep belly laugh, and she narrowly kept her smile on well enough to avoid wincing. God, he was so loud. Trinity hadn’t left the bathroom yet, and she wasn’t sure he’d leave her hanging out here if he knew it was Phineas she’d been cornered by.

“Ah Camilla, that’s more a story for your lad Trinity! Something for us men to share.” He patted her shoulder, and she threw up in her mouth a little. “Where is the boy anyway? I haven’t seen him since the two of you entered.”

She wanted desperately to just leave. Tell him to fuck off, turn heel and go. He was useless to Trinity by the man’s own admission anyway so a tiny little shock really wouldn’t hurt him too much, with all the insulation he had. Instead of any of that though, she tittered. No point in being violent because someone’s annoying, that would be unladylike at best and evil at worst; her whole reason to be here was making things easier for Trinity. “He’s indisposed, handlin’ some affairs he said just couldn’t wait a minute longer. Shall I pass somethin’ along? I’ve got no idea when he’ll be back around.” She tapped at the comm one more time. Nothing. Ugh.

“Oh, poor form, leaving a pretty thing like you to wander a wolf’s den like this.” For once she thought maybe Phineas had a point, but she’d never admit that. “I’ll handle my business with him myself, would hate to make you work harder than you need to.” He took her hand and pressed a kiss to the back of it and she smiled, while internally screaming. He waved and off he went, and she fought the urge to wipe the slime his mouth left on her hand off onto her dress. She looked around.

Trinity still hadn’t returned. She couldn’t reach him in the comm, and in the minute or so she’d kept an eye on the men’s room, he hadn’t entered or exited. At least out in this hall, she could get a feel for the size of the building. It wasn’t huge, just fancy with a lot of gardens. Trinity wouldn’t leave the building she didn’t think, not if she was going to be stuck here. That left a few stairwell corners and some alcoves she already knew were full of the sort of illicit rendezvous Trinity wasn’t really inclined to. She exited the hall with the bathrooms, knowing full well that’s where the alcoves were and not the stairwells. She took a deep breath and entered the throng, smiling and waving where her attention was drawn but not stopping to converse. Crimson’s voice rang in her head: “If you look purposeful enough, anyone with sense will get out of your way, and anyone without sense should follow suit.”

So through the crowd she strode, head high, step as sure as she could fake it, a wake of static left behind her every step as she tried to quell her rising concern for Trinity’s well being. Her face was set as neutrally as she could manage, knowing her default was an expression of stubborn irritation. To others, she was a woman on a mission. To herself, she was mentally planning every step she took, desperately praying she’d see him pop up in the corners of her vision.

She was almost to the set of hallways on the other side of the room when, in her desperate focus to Get To The Other Side Of The Room, she barely registered the bejeweled hand on her shoulder. Internally, she sighed. Externally, she carefully took the hand off her shoulder, barely sparing a long enough glance to be heard. “I’m very sorry sir, I’ve got somethin’ urgent to attend to.”

“Urgent?” The man lifted a perfect dark eyebrow in a bone-pale and starkly handsome face, and pulled his hand back slowly from where it had been draped in the air after she’d removed it from her person. The nails were painted blood red, and gold and silver rings glinted in the light. His voice was far more polite than any of the others she’d talked to, soft and smooth as silk, but she still really didn’t have time for that.

Did I fuckin’ stutter, sir?

A slight static from the comm answered her unspoken question, then nothing.

“I’m afraid so. I assure you,” she tossed over her shoulder and began walking away, more static in her wake. “I’m a horrible liar.”

He only blinked. “I believe you.” The words were quiet, but followed her down the hall anyhow. He turned with a flash of purple-- was that a purple velvet suit, really?-- and was out of sight, finally. She fought the urge to stick her tongue out or give a loud sigh or do something, anything to vent the frustration she felt at being stopped again, but she managed to keep it together. She wandered the thinning crowds in the hallway, ascending a set of stairs with purpose to a floor that seemed almost deserted.

“Trinity?” She called softly, not wanting to alert anyone to his disappearance. If he wasn’t here, she’d look like a crazy person, and she already had enough of that. She stayed quiet and listened over the din of the event downstairs. She didn’t hear anything, but there was a slight shadow down one of the empty hallways, unmoving, but vaguely human shaped. She strode towards the shape, slowing as she went.

“Trinity?” she called softly from a few feet away.

It was him, she could see as she approached. He stood, leaning against the wall in the deserted hallway, perfectly still and unmoving. He didn’t even seem to be breathing. His face was expressionless, gaze vaguely fixed at a point across the hall where the wall met the floor, eyes frozen in place. He hadn’t blinked since she’d been watching him, and her eyes started to water in sympathy. He didn’t react to her presence. After a long moment, he blinked. The movement began and ended in only his eyelids.

She stopped only a few feet from him, just outside his periphery. She reached a hand out, hesitant. She had no idea what was going on, he’d completely shut her out this whole time. No warning, just silence. If she was honest, she’d been pushing the thought that maybe she’d messed up somehow away all night. But she couldn’t find what she’d done, and it wasn’t like Trinity to give a punishment like the silent treatment. He’d call in a drone strike, or something. Ruin her credit score. Tease her mercilessly until she apologized. She turned off the cybernetics in her arm, reaching for his shoulder.

“Terra to Trinity, pagin’ Hotshot. We need you back here on the ground, buddy.” Her voice came out softer than she’d known it could ever be. He was so still. She frowned, glancing around them. No one. He was certainly good at finding hiding spots. She moved into his line of sight. “Trinity, what’s goin’ on?”

As she got close to him, she could see why it looked like he wasn’t breathing. He was taking incredibly shallow breaths, so much so that his chest and mouth didn’t move at all, and the breaths were coming far faster than was healthy. He didn’t respond to her voice or even to her touch except to blink again— the only hint that any stimulus was reaching him. She’d never seen him do anything even close to this before, he was always so well put together she’d begun to think he was a robot designed exclusively to chat easily with the rich and powerful. She couldn’t piece together what the hell was going on. Was he having a seizure? It didn’t look quite like the ones she’d seen Cadet have, but maybe there were more kinds. Or maybe it was something else. Had something happened to him? She wouldn’t know until either he could talk or passed out, and who knew when that would be. If he was having a seizure she’d know soon enough, and then maybe she’d be able to help. But in the meantime?

She plopped onto the ground, back resting against the wall as she stretched out to lounge right there on the floor. Her arm was pressed lightly but firmly against his leg. Something to anchor himself to, if he needed to for some reason. She gave an exaggerated yawn.

“Yeah I don’t blame you for bein’ quiet, this is stressful. I was downstairs on my own for a fraction of what you usually deal with and I’m already done with it.” She spoke as though he was going to respond, giving his silence some time to fill the air in response. “I ran into Phineas and he left some of his mouth slime on my hand. I think he got….rounder.” She puffed her cheeks out and made a noise one would attribute to a Large Formless Blob. “I think it’s all the shit he talks, he’s swallowing some. The methane’s inflating him AND his ego.”

She chanced a look up at him before she continued. “I think that probably he’s the worst. He’s just so damn loud. It’s nicer up here. Quiet and you can actually breathe a little without catching someone’s four thousand credit perfume in your mouth. Have you noticed how overdone the smells are? I was thinking about makin’ a little particle-incineratin’ barrier for my nose just to come to these things without havin’ to leave with a headache.”

A slightly louder inhale and exhale this time. Maybe something… or maybe not. Still, his chest moved a little with the breath, just the slightest twitch. He blinked. She grinned and continued in her lounging, gesturing dramatically. “I mean, how many innocent flowers died in the making of that migraine? How much you wanna bet they don’t even like the smell themselves? It’s the luxury of it all. Poor posies never imagined it would end like that, slathered on a high-falutin’ neck for the drama.” She was trying to be funny, in the hopes he’d maybe smile. She also tried to keep her voice low enough that only he could hear her, even from her ridiculous position splayed out on the floor. She made an attempt at keeping a cadence to her inflection as well. Something easy to follow, soothing.

His head made a robotic movement, up and down almost imperceptibly as if mimicking the idea of a nod. It seemed like more of an automatic response, something cultivated to try and convince people there was nothing wrong, rather than an indication he understood or processed what she was saying. Not that it would convince anyone, it was the least natural motion she’d ever seen from him, but at least it meant he could hear her.

She took a deep breath and moved a little, stretching out in front of him now, right at his feet, still making sure some part of her touched him. She looked around. Still no one, not that it mattered much. This was the most comfort and fun she’d had all night, which really said something about the company they kept at these events. She smiled up at him. “And some of these people are tacky as hell. I have no idea who let them out of the house lookin’ like that. Though I guess honestly I’m not sure who let them out in general, they don’t know how to act right.” She rested her head on a gloved hand, stabilized by her elbow on the floor. She hummed a little in thought. “I wonder what the market would be like for a little robot that tells you when you’ve got a few too many rings on. Absolutely ridiculous, you jack off with that hand?” She lifted her head and counted on her fingers. “I think more than like three per hand is pushin’ it. How do you even lug your own limbs around? Do something useful that’s not stoppin’ me when I’m busy.”

He actually stopped breathing for a moment at something she’d said in there. Hard to say which part, she’d said a lot of shit. She could ask later. If she remembered. For now she was just looking for something, anything to talk about. “...Yeah, you’re right, it is a little rude not to even try to act like I care.” She continued as if he’d responded to her. “Like I said, I got no idea how you did this on your own for so long. It’s awful. I can only imagine how much more you’d rather be home, curled under a blanket or something. Some hot cocoa instead of this weird champagne with alien fruit in it. I’m not even sure what it is. Do you know of any green fruits with a rind like an orange and the texture of an apple? Tasted awful, and I even double checked, you are supposed to eat it.”

She was about to barrel on, but some instinct told her to wait. After a moment, Trinity twitched at her side, seeming to struggle for a big enough breath to speak. “Zmenclok.” His voice was empty of all emotion, a blank monotone without inflection. “Antrian fruit.”

She nodded thoughtfully, a wave of relief crashing over her to hear him speak at all. “The Antrians are a strong people then, because that was the worst fruit I’ve ever put in my mouth by a long shot.” She examined her nails, as though she really cared much. “Left a smell on my hands, I’ve washed them twice already.” She’d also tried to burn the smell off with electricity, but that also hadn’t worked. “I wonder if instead of water soluble sugars, it’s made of something else? That would explain why I hated it, humans might not actually be compatible with the chemical makeup. We’ll know when the bathroom lines reach out to the cars, I suppose.”

“Uh… huh.” It was almost a sound of agreement, or at least meant to sound like one, with about twelve of those fast, shallow breaths between the syllables. When she glanced up at him, his eyes had gone unfocused and cloudy.

He could kind of talk, which was good. She didn’t want to push her luck by drawing attention to the state he was pulling himself out of. So she just kept going, starting with a very long, deep inhale and sigh. Maybe he’d get the hint. She usually did when Crim did it, but everyone’s different. “Y’know, I talk a lot of shit, but I do have fun at these sometimes. It’s not the worst thing to look nice and eat weird food. Can’t say I’d recommend the “whole spoonful of just Gensoran caviar” thing but it’s a great story since I’m at these things all the time lately anyway.” She thought for a moment. “The dancin’s pretty alright too. I get some of my best thinkin’ done when I’m not hangin’ upside down, it turns out. I sent off a blueprint to my shop back home, they’re doin’ the rough fabrication for me so I can get the fine tunin’ out of the way on my own. I used to drive ‘em all nuts, gettin’ way too precise.” She had a faraway look in her eyes. She really didn’t think he’d notice. “I kinda miss my mechanics. With just Kelly to watch all of ‘em, I’d hope they can focus hard enough to get anythin’ done.”

He might have attempted to follow her example of a deep breath, but he didn’t make it far. His breathing got harsher as she spoke, but no slower or deeper. “A-Az—ure.” He could barely get the word out through his tight, shallow, breaths. His hand closest to her flexed, opening like he was searching for something to grab onto, and she could feel his leg start to tremble against her. He swayed on his feet, unsteady. He was moving now, but it seemed like his frozen state had been compensating for the lack of oxygen he was getting. Any clarity he’d been grasping for answering her questions was fading, and as it did that odd static fuzz picked up through the com again. Somehow, the sound was almost frantic, making her tense up as it invaded her mind.

She shoved the static away. She could have a secondhand panic at home, with Crim or Perry or something. Priority one: Trinity Jericho does not pass out on the floor of the balcony level stairwell in a ritzy ballroom. Priority two: Trinity Jericho does not get his panic revealed to the general public. In one fluid motion, she got to her feet. Somewhere, a violin bow began a slow trek along its strings. She caught the hand that had been flexing in her own, her other wrapping around his waist as she stepped in close. The same way he’d kept her upright countless times while she was still stumbling around in heels like a newborn giraffe. She was a lot shorter, but her cybernetics kicked in a little to help. Someone walked up the stairs and she gave them a shy smile, brain endlessly working. They passed by with little thought given to the couple dancing in the empty hallway. She thought into the comm, as soothingly as she could.

Lean in. I’ll lead this time. I promise you’re not heavy. Breathe, Trinity.

She wasn’t completely sure she was reaching him, but once he had something supporting him at least he could stop fighting so hard to hold himself upright under his own power. Almost his full weight dropped into her, and his head fell to her shoulder. She could feel tiny, hot puffs of air against her neck, as he fought to slow his breathing. His face was still blank of all emotion or expression, but the comm registered his terror— he couldn’t stop, couldn’t control it. His hands twitched, tightening around hers. She gave him a gentle squeeze back.

Breathe with the music. In-two-three-four, out-two-three-four.

She continued counting for him, keeping time with the lazy tune playing on the floor below as it floated up to them. She took no real steps, but kept a slow, steady, easy sway. She did the breathing herself, trying to drown his static with her own soothing patterns. Eventually, the rhythm of the swaying and the music started to break through the static— he managed a deep breath in, struggling to release it again as it caught in his chest, until he finally let it all out with a choking exhale. The next time he tried, it was slightly smoother, and he staggered in place. He would have fallen if it weren’t for her arms holding him up. His chest heaved in and out a few more times, and his legs trembled slightly.

“I’m. Fine. O—ok.” The words were robotic and clipped.

“That’s a lie, but you can talk now so I’ll take it.” She continued their swaying, keeping her breathing deep and slow. Her head turned to hide her mouth in his shoulder, away from anyone nearby who might be able to read lips and was piecing it all together. There was no one, realistically, but at this point she also just enjoyed the warmth. “I think I got cornered by every friend you’ve got at these damn things while tryin’ to find you. We can probably dip as soon as you’re ready. They can wait. You can go home, Hotshot. You don’t have to stay on this time.”

“Yes. I want to go… soon.” It was like he was reading a teleprompter. They swayed for a bit longer, as his breathing evened out, and after a moment, he tapped her on the shoulder, like he was trying to get her attention. “Can… we sit.”

" 'Course we can sit." She slowed them to a stop and let him onto his own two feet as gently as she could, easing him to the ground after that. She flopped down beside him with much less care and ceremony. She nestled herself into his shoulder, just in front of him enough to suggest she was ready to support his weight sitting, if he needed it. "Better?"

He braced himself against the wall as he slid to the floor. In the back of her mind, through the comm, she could hear what sounded vaguely like numbers, prime numbers, she realized after a moment. Soon enough, they stopped, and he took in another trembling breath. “Yes. Better.” He still didn’t sound like Trinity. It was hard to hear him sound so... absent. “I’m. Coming back.” He paused. “Know where I am. Sorry I… left.”

She leaned into him gently, lounging as casually as you can in a floor length gown. If he'd been mentally present, she'd have looked like a really old Terran lounge singer. All she was missing was a piano. Her mouth curved into its standard lopsided smile. "If you were just dealin' with what I think you were, I can't say I blame ya for dippin' out. Not exactly fun, Crim's told me." She rolled her shoulder a little. "I wasn't kiddin', you know. I managed to excuse you from the clutches of three of our favorites for the night. We really can just go home once you're back to basics."

He nodded stiffly, before letting his head loll back against the wall, as if he couldn’t quite hold it up on his own. “Panic attack. No reason. Just too much.” He pressed his hands to the cold tile of the floor, seeking something to feel. “In… a minute. I want to leave. Soon, I can… fake it. Enough to get out.”

She nodded back, eyeing another set of people making their way up the stairs. She sat up straight, shielding him from view, leaning in a little farther than she might normally, even for what she was here to pretend to be. "Take your time, Trinity." She whispered quietly. He couldn't really keep up an act right now, so she was going to have to put up twice as much. Sorry about this. I'm going to touch you, I'll try to make it as little as I can. She settled her arms around him, head on his shoulder. Her face said adoration while her eyes betrayed the thought involved as she tried to keep the touch as minimal as she could.

A shudder ran through him as the sounds of the other couple reached them, and his green eyes stared through Azzy instead of at her even as she leaned in close to shield him from their view. His breathing had begun to speed up just slightly, but he managed to at least keep it steady and deep with the help of a quiet chant of prime numbers that slipped into the back of her mind from his, clearly a strategy he had to keep focus and not fall back into whatever empty place he’d been before.

The passersby soon left their immediate vicinity, and Azzy pulled away from him slowly. With Crim, there was a 50/50 chance she'd be forbidden from moving and letting him go after a panic attack, so she wanted to give Trinity the option, if he could tell that's what was being offered. She searched his body language for what he needed, other than an opportunity to leave. She briefly wondered if just breaking down a wall and making their own door was that bad of a plan.

Trinity made no move to keep her in place, and his body language, like his face, was so still and blank that she couldn’t glean much of anything from it. She wondered what in his life had taught him to panic like this— silent and so absolutely contained that he nearly ceased to exist entirely. She took a deep breath, letting herself also slump against the wall and, for the first time since she found him like this, she looked away. Her eyes remained fixed on the stairwell, quietly willing the partygoers below to stay away as she continued to count the beat of the current song. She took herself away from being pressed to him entirely, giving him some few inches of space. Her part in this was done. All that was left was to wait it out. He’d pulled away from the comm again, closing his thoughts off, but she could hear him breathing steadily behind her as he pulled a bit more fully back to himself.

It took a few minutes, but eventually she heard movement behind her as Trinity shifted, clearing his throat. “Alright. I think I should be ready to go now, as long as we don’t have to stop and talk to anyone.” His voice moved up and down in a manner very similar to its usual inflection, but somehow after witnessing what she just had she could tell that it was all very intentional. It wasn’t his real voice, just a very clever approximation that would probably fool anyone who didn’t know him very well. With luck, it would be enough for them to make it out of the building. She got the feeling that it wasn’t going to get any better than this as long as they were still in the place where it had happened.

She stood and brushed herself off, rolling her shoulder and setting her jaw in its usual stubborn position. She offered him her hands to pull him to standing. “I’ve got it on the way out. Smile and nod like I’m sure you were plannin’ on anyway.”

In response, he simply smiled. Very convincing, except his eyes were still faraway and empty. “Of course. I’ve had to do this a couple of times before.” He didn’t say ‘alone,’ but she knew what he meant. It was maybe as close to a thank you as he could manage to get out right now. She gave a slightly sadder smile in response. She’d always been easy to read. It made her easy to talk to. Eyes becoming steely, she pulled him up.

“Okay, let’s go back to hell.”

“Already there.” He gave that same empty smile and followed.

She took his hand in hers and led him down the stairs. The difference from the lazing, relaxed person who’d just sat with him and held him literally upright, to the person leading him through the throng of the rich and forgettable was astounding. She’d never walked this tall at an event before, each step falling exactly where she’d intended it to. In her head, she tracked where she’d entered from, where there were the fewest people they knew and where there were the fewest people in general. She kept an eye out for people who’d been looking for him, breezing past Phineas without him sparing either of them so much as a glance. The usual easy gracefulness she was trying for was replaced with a purposeful stride, static in the air where she stepped.

She really just wanted to leave as soon as possible. Her brother’s voice rang in her head once more: “People with sense will get out of your way”. She hoped he was right, Trinity needed some fresh air at least. She wove through the crowds, exchanging passing pleasantries through kilowatt smiles and an ever so slightly played up drawl. Trinity barely had to look at who she was speaking to.

Somewhere along their way, so close to the exit, she turned a bit quickly, bumping into someone in a purple suit with an overabundance of jewelry. She heard the tinkle of breaking glass and the splash of liquid scattering from the broken cup. The man she’d just spilled wine on looked up from the tablet he’d been occupied with, his face, which might have been familiar had she bothered to think about it, written over with genuine surprise. Trinity’s hand tightened on hers, and she could feel his pulse pounding where his wrist pressed close to hers. She gave a quiet noise of surprise before collecting herself and trying to mind her manners without getting trapped by conversation. “My bad, s’cuse me sir-” She quipped out as she pushed past, pulling Trinity with her without a second thought, stride still sure. Was his breathing starting to speed up again? All the more reason to get out as fast as possible.

When they finally made it through the doors with no further issues and reached the empty stretch of driveway the car had been called to, Trinity dropped her hand and took a few more breaths to calm himself down again. He didn’t always trust what he saw in this state, but…

“Oh God,” He muttered, his voice dropping back into its low monotone. “Tell me he’s not following. I can’t…” words failed him, and he rubbed his hands together, trying to generate some feeling. He prayed the car would arrive soon. She looked behind them. No one.

“No one followed us, Hotshot. What’s got you bent outta shape again? I said excuse me.” Her words were callous, but she sounded genuinely concerned. She thought she’d done well, and he certainly seemed like he had more important things to worry about than her being a little rude on accident.

“I know.” He took in a breath too fast, and forced it to exit more slowly. “But he’s too observant. I can’t let him see… this. You-- you know how he is, don’t you.” It should have been a question, but the phrase didn’t go up at the end to indicate it.

She raised a brow, moving to touch his shoulder lightly, hoping to steady him on his feet a little better and give him something to ground with. “Tacky?” She, again, sounded genuine, making a little joke to lighten this bizarre mood they’d cooked up.

He turned to face her, and somehow her response shocked an actual expression out of him, his eyes slightly widened. “Azure. That man was…” a very slight twitch of the corner of his mouth, like this was something he really didn’t want to address. “My employer.”

Her mouth formed a perfect ‘o’ the moment the final syllable was out. It closed a moment later, and her brow furrowed, guilt all over her features. “That really is a problem then, ain’t it? Shit Trinity, I’m sorry. I was just tryin’ to get us both outta there. It’s not like its exactly my forte, bein’ in crowds.” She ran her hand through her curls, bunching them up at the base of her neck. Her hands sparked some but she didn’t shake them out. “Still I’m...shit, I’m sorry.”

He took a few calming breaths, trying to look reassuring, but he was clearly still struggling to be expressive. “It’s alright. He… didn’t notice anything. Won’t bother with it… once it’s not interesting anymore.”

Azzy bit back her Sounds like a real peach to know comment, only to realize a moment later she still had her comm in, and the sardonic tone was not subtle. She cleared her throat. “As long as you’re fine. I don’t exactly have a lot to fear from ‘im, so if you think you’re fine then you probably are.”

“I’m not afraid of him.” He sighed slightly and glanced down the road impatiently, waiting for the car to arrive. “But showing weakness is dangerous.”

Somehow, Azure managed to say nothing for long enough to choose her next words carefully. “Guess it’s good I didn’t see anythin’ then.” Her mouth molded the words in such a way that when they left her mouth, they carried the clear reminder she was technically a vigilante by trade as well as a cybernetic engineer: She was offering him the option to ask her to forget. To ignore the whole night, act like it had never happened. Nothing gained, nothing lost. Just a black box of a night she’d never bring up again.

He looked at her, putting together her meaning. After a moment, he gave a slow nod of his head. His eyes held hard steel that said he understood, and a flash of gratitude that she assumed was the last indication she’d get that anything happened, before he turned away again.

“I appreciate your company at these events, Azure. It certainly serves its purpose.”

She simply nodded in understanding as the car finally pulled up the drive, jewelry glinting in the moonlight and features placid. Face blank. Like nothing had happened. She glanced around to make sure there wasn’t anyone outside, before opening the door for him. A friendly gesture.

He smirked at her, this one closer to genuine than she’d seen all night, as he got into the car. “What a gentleman. Come on, you have to get back to the ship.”

She rolled her eyes and got in the car herself. “The lady’s in a rush to be rid of me. Forsooth, my heart. It breaks.” His smirk reflected back at him. He smacked her shoulder lightly as she got in, and the car finally pulled away from the event, headed for home.

9. Little Victories

Azzy’s feet hit the cold metal of the ship over and over, shoes in one hand and excessive skirt bunched high in the other as she ran clear across the entire crew quarters level from the entrance, leaving a trail of static in her wake. She’d long since abandoned any idea of propriety now that she was back on her own home turf. Her run stopped at the end of the hall, where hers, her brother’s, Periwinkle’s, Indigo’s, and Smalls’ cabins were clustered. Breathless and eyes alight with excitement, she knocked on Perry’s door, finally doubling over to pant and wait for them to answer.

The door opened on Perry’s confused face. “Azure, what—?”

Azzy stood up straight once the door opened, beaming if a little embarrassed by her own energy. “I want you to guess what I did today, you’ll think it’s hilarious.”

“Ok, well…” they blinked at her, clearly baffled. “You were off the ship today. With a ‘friend,’ wasn’t it?” It was an affectation— many of the people on the ship had figured out at this point where Azzy went when she was planetside and who she was with, and Perry specifically had probably known since date number two, but it was an unspoken rule to pretend they didn’t.

Azzy rolled her eyes at the implication. Trinity was a friend, and a good one. Even if he was, by every account, very shady. So were all of them, so who were they to talk? She pushed the retort back in favor of continuing to beam. “I ran into Fate. Quite literally, I might add. Spilled wine on him, heard the “oh!”, all of it. Ruined his shirt, I guarantee you, maybe that awful purple suit too. Not sure he knew it was me, because I sure as hell had to be told who he was. Why didn’t you tell me he was so tacky?”

Perry blinked, expression caught somewhere between abject terror and the sort of expression one might make after being smacked upside the head with a brick— and then he laughed out loud, the sound ringing down the halls of the ship. “I’m sure I’ve mentioned all those goddamn rings at least once.” She grinned, sharklike. “Bumping into him, spilling on his shirt, and worst of all, not knowing who he was? That sounds like his worst nightmare.”

Azure loved seeing her friend smile. Made her all fuzzy inside. She grinned back. “I think I might have blown him off a few more times before that too. I was tryin’ to find my date and he just kept puttin’ himself in my path. Like I didn’t have better things to do. I’m a livin’ taser, he’s lucky he wasn’t fried. I was already anxious as hell, it was more than possible.” She gave a little yawn. “Anyway, I’m beat. Have fun eatin’ puddin’ with my brother.”

Perry’s soft chuckle followed her down the hall as she left.

10. Handled

It didn’t hit Trinity until much later that night what exactly Azure had done while he’d been… incapacitated. He knew he was still far too anxious to sleep, no matter how exhausted he was, so he’d taken the advice he vaguely remembered from while Azzy’d been chattering to him earlier that evening and wrapped himself in a blanket on the couch with a cup of hot chocolate. There was no need to wake up his sister this late-- he’d just sleep tomorrow.

He’d already had the cocoa made when he remembered that it was Azure who’d mentioned it in the first place, and as he’d sat and slowly unraveled his tangled, panic laden memories of the night, he’d begun to piece together everything else she’d said and done. The first thing was how she’d handled finding him in that state. Others who’d stumbled upon him in the past had done everything from trying to shake him out of it to calling an ambulance, and not one had actually been helpful. He knew his attacks were strange and unfamiliar even to people who had ones of their own, but she’d simply waited, using sound and touch to bring him back until she could see what he needed. In some ways, he barely knew her, and yet she’d helped him out of it more quickly and painlessly than anyone except perhaps his sister ever had. How had she known, and honestly, why had she bothered? He’d almost believed she would just leave once he disappeared for long enough.

The next fact that rose to his mind as he considered everything else she’d said was the reason they’d been able to leave so quickly in the first place. Not only had she expertly hidden his compromised state from passerby while he recovered, but she’d been on her own in the crowds the whole time he’d been gone. He had no real concept of how long that had been, but it was impressive at any amount. Not only had she been able to wade through the masses of humanity successfully, she’d apparently expertly handled each business partner or contact he’d been meant to speak with tonight, to the point that not a single person had accosted them or vied for Trinity’s attention on the way out. Even the run-in with Fate, as stressful as it had been at the time, he was sure had been purely accidental. This one night alone had given Trinity more confidence in Azzy’s ability to conduct herself well at these events, more than any dancing improvement or small talk or perfect dinner etiquette. More than that, it was yet another example of something she absolutely didn’t have to do, but did anyway, for a reason he couldn’t puzzle out.

The final piece to the puzzle was her very last gift to him as they waited for a car-- an unspoken promise to forget this moment of weakness, never to bring it up again. It was easy to forget the real business she was in sometimes, that she traveled with a ship of vigilantes with checkered and secretive pasts and plenty of issues of their own. It was unlike him, but somehow he felt he could trust her with that weakness. Not only did he believe her when she said she would treat it as though it never happened, but he wasn’t afraid of it coloring her interactions with him. Even subconsciously. His memories of the night were still hazy and sorting through them was exhausting and painful work, but if he knew one thing, it was that he could trust Azure. If he’d thought it before, now he was sure.

Trinity pulled his blanket tighter around himself and took a sip of cocoa. She was right, this was much better than being in a crowded ballroom. He should do this more often.

Taglist (ask to be added or removed!): @glitterandstarshine @rainbowcoloreddays @the-starlight-chills @erased-in-stone @charlottedotexe

General: @elywritesbydarkness @residentofthedisc @humour-and-hyperfocus @skyfirewrites

#writeblr #writers on tumblr #spilled ink #wip: babylon #chapter update #babylon #trinity

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elenajohansenreads · 4 years ago

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Books I Read in 2021

#12 - Babylon's Ashes, by James S.A. Corey

Mount TBR: 11/100

Beat the Backlist Bingo: Multiple points of view

Rating: 4/5 stars

I think it's a brave, interesting, and ultimately wise choice for this series to take an entire book to step back, broaden the scope of the narrative, and say, "This is where we are. This is how bad things have gotten. And this is how we got that way." After several years, several seasons of slightly different story in the television adaptation, and five big chunky books, I was grateful for the returning characters and their contextually important reminders of what went before. I never felt like the story was deliberately summarizing past events to fill word count; there was always a reason, always a goal. But sweet baby Jesus, how long has it been since Anderson Dawes was important to the story? Thank you, authors, for gently reminding me how what he had done before still matters, and for doing the same with other characters we haven't seen in some time.

After the literal explosion of Nemesis Games, this much more contemplative tone has obviously rubbed some people the wrong way, given what I'm seeing in other reviews. And this definitely did take me longer to read than previous installments in the series, the pacing was a bit plodding. But it takes a lot of ground--or space, if you'd rather--to cover the demise of one societal system to make way for something almost entirely new. To wrap up a war that I actually thought was going to consume the rest of the series (I haven't read the teaser for the next book and probably won't, as I don't own a copy yet and don't want to hype myself up too soon.)

But a fast-paced action-fest couldn't spread itself over the 19 different POV characters (across 50 chapters, the prologue, and the epilogue) to give as grand a picture of every moving piece of the puzzle. That is by far the most of any book I've ever read, and conventional writing wisdom says it's a huge no-no, yet here I love it, and it's not actually as complex as it seems. Three "main" characters still carry most of the story (Holden, Michio Pa, and Filip, basically representing the three important ships or sets of ships.) The rest of the Roci's crew gets a chapter or two where it will do the story the most good, otherwise they simply do their thing in Holden's chapters. A few key figures from the past appear to give the perspectives of those outside the Roci--Namono/Anna for the consequences for Earth, Avasarala/Dawes/Fred for political maneuvering, the four entirely new characters who each get exactly one chapter but cover the goings-on on Medina station for us. Prax turns up a little bit to do his science, and that was nice to see, I quite liked him back in the day. Even Marco has his say, which I wasn't expecting but am definitely glad was included.

While the umbrella of hard sci-fi still encompasses this entire series, it's interesting to look at how each individual book tackles a different flavor of secondary genre, and in this case, it strikes me as going for the truly epic: this was trying, and quite nearly succeeding, at being as broad and far-reaching and complex as your Victor Hugo or your Tolstoy. Concerned with the big picture, always, but also always digging into the small things, the hearts and minds that make these decisions and mistakes that drive history.

#booklr #book review #babylon's ashes #James S.A. Corey #the expanse #book photography #my photos #my reading challenges #mount tbr 2021 #beat the backlist 2021

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fand0mfancies · 4 years ago

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Came across this on Tumblr a few days ago, it amused me for a couple of hours or more, filling it in, while watching QI.

Fandom Questions

1. What was the first fandom you got involved in?

Star Trek: Voyager, I suppose at least for reading. Started writing with Stargate SG-1.

2. What is your latest fandom?

I dip in and out of lots of fandoms on and off, the most recent ‘pick up’ is Ballam from Eastenders, I don’t watch soaps, but Robron and Ballam both appear a good bit on my tumblr, so I eventually gave in to checking them out via fic and youtube – thank god for youtube, lol! I still don’t watch soaps, but I watch those storylines!

3. What is the best fandom you’ve ever been involved in?

Gosh, that’s... actually no that’s really easy. Primeval. For anyone not familiar, it’s a ‘silly little dinosaur show’ produced in the UK. It had 4 short seasons, with a somewhat revolving main cast – although they managed to keep 3 of them through all 4 seasons – but the fandom was/is amazing. I made life long friends through the fandom and even though I don’t write much any more I still read some and still talk with those people.

4. Do you regret getting involved in any fandoms?

I would say no. I can’t say every fandom has always been amazing – ship wars anyone! – but mostly fandom has been a very positive experience in my life.

5. Which fandoms have your written fanfiction for?

How long have you got... in genuinely no particular order (basically as they came to me) Stargate SG-1, Stargate Atlantis, Star Trek (TNG, DS9, Voy, Ent & Reboot Movies), Marvel, Kingsman, Person of Interest, Due South, Quantum Leap, Firefly, Buffy/Angel verse, Harry Potter, The Sentinel, Torchwood(/Doctor Who), Hawaii Five-0, Shadowhunters, Sherlock, Primeval, Emmerdale (Robron), NCIS, CSI (Vegas, NY & Miami), White Collar, Empire Records, Bull, Diagnosis Murder, MacGyver (the original), 1-800-Missing, CHAOS, Without a Trace, M*A*S*H, Charmed, Queer as Folk (US), Will & Grace, Bring it On, Nash Bridges, Magnificent 7 (TV series), House, Babylon 5 – I think I got them all... a few of those were one time only deals, but a lot of them have more (anywhere from 2-52 (or more still!) ranging from 100 word drabbles, to thousands of words – hey I’ve been writing fic for 21 years... you tend to amass a lot of fandoms...

6. List your OTP from each fandom you’ve been involved in.

Oh geez, here we go, lol! Okay...

Stargate SG-1: Jack O’Neill/Daniel Jackson

Stargate Atlantis: Rodney McKay/John Sheppard

Star Trek: Elim Garak/Julian Bashir, Chakotay/Tom Paris, Jonathan Archer/Malcolm Reed, James Kirk/Spock – I don’t particularly have an ‘otp’ in TNG, the couple I’ve written were Picard/Data, I’ve also dabbled reading Data/Gordi)

Marvel: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark

Kingsman: Harry Hart/Eggsy Unwin

Person of Interest: Harold Finch/John Reese

Due South: Benton Fraser/Ray K

Quantum Leap: Sam/Al

Firefly: Malcolm Reynolds/Simon Tam

Buffy/Angel Verse: Buffy/Giles, Angel/Spike, Xander/Spike, Willow/Tara

Harry Potter: Harry/Draco, Harry/Hermione, Harry/Hermione/Draco

The Sentinel: Jim/Blair

Torchwood: Jack/Ianto

Hawaii Five-O: Steve/Danno

Shadowhunters: Magnus/Alec

Sherlock: Sherlock/John, Mycroft/Lestrade

Primeval: Nick Cutter/Stephen Hart, James Lester/Hilary Becker Emmerdale: Robert Sugden/Aaron Dingle

NCIS: Gibbs/DiNozzo CSI: Nick Stokes/David Hodges, Mac/Danny, Horatio/Speed White Collar: Neal/Peter/Elizabeth

Empire Records: Joe/Lucas

Bull: Benny/Jason

Diagnosis Murder: Steve/Jesse

I’ve left a few out where I don’t have particular OTPs

7. List your NoTPs from each fandom you’ve been in.

Here we go again... lol!

Stargate SG-1: Jack/Sam, I just... no. I’ve read a few where it’s a background or secondary pairing, but it always makes me wince a bit. I’ve read a few with Sam/Daniel as a secondary pairing that didn’t make me react that way and I’ve read Sam with other characters, but Jack/Sam just is a nope for me.

Stargate Atlantis: McKay/Keller – no, just no. that was horrible. She treated him like... awfully, trying to change him to suit her, just... no.

Marvel: Contentious, but Tony/Pepper, also Peter Parker/Tony Stark. Maybe because I saw the movies before I ever looked at the comics, but meh.

Due South: Benton Fraser/Ray V – again, contentious, but honestly I think Ray V was kind of a shit friend to Fraser.

Firefly: Anything with Jayne. No really, I just can not stand the character. I spent most of the series wanting to punch him in the face and sometimes you get characters you love to hate, but I just hated him.

Buffy/Angel Verse: Buffy/Spike, Willow/Kennedy

Harry Potter: Ron/Hermione, Ron/Harry, Harry/Ginny... basically, Ron and Ginny should just be loveless hermits who live by themselves. Ok, no, that isn’t fair... but as much as Ron was Harry’s first friend, he was selfish and bitter and Ginny/Harry just... never sat right with me. Ron literally says she spent ‘all summer talking about’ Harry, when she’d met him for all of three seconds. She didn’t know him. It always felt like she fell more in love with the *idea* of Harry Potter, than Harry Potter himself.

Sherlock: Sherlock/Molly, he’d eat her for breakfast. Serious, she’d never survive him.

Primeval: Oliver Leek and anyway. Arg. Creepy little dude is creepy and evil.

NCIS: Ziva/DiNozzo – ugh, just no.

Again, I’ve left out ones where I don’t have particular NoTPs

8. How did you get involved in your latest fandom?

Tumblr, god damned bitches posting gifs of pretty boys falling in love, roped me in!

9. What are the best things about your current fandom?

I dabble in several fandoms at once... but if we go by ‘most recently picked up’ as ‘current’ we’re talking Ballum, which hey, it’s always fun to have an actual canon pairing be my OTP, that’s rare for me, lol.

10. Is there a fandom you read fic from but don’t write in?

Well (so far) I haven’t written any Ballum. (I say so far, because I’m a realist, lol). I rarely read in fandoms and not end up writing in them at some point. Although I have probably dabbled in a few I’ve not written for, but if I read it with any sort of consistency, I mostly end up writing it. I am weak!

Ship Questions for your Current Fandom

11. Who is your current OTP?

Okay, so that list above, just basically go with that. While I do drop in and hour of fandoms and some I certainly read in more than others, I do tend to go back to fandoms... If we were talking about what I’m mostly focused on writing atm... Steve/Tony, Mycroft/Lestrade, Harry/Draco and Robron are ones I’m currently working on most.

12. Who is your current OT3?

I’m not currently writing anything that’s OT3 with any real focus. I have a couple of Neal/Peter/Elizabeth WiPs that I will at some point finish, but they aren’t a big focus just now. I did recently read a fabulous Neal/Peter/Elizabeth fic that’s been on my tbr list for ages.

13. Any NoTPs?

Just... see above, lol!

14. Go on, who are your BroTPs?

Harry Hart/Merlin, those two are Bro’s until the end and I will fight you on this. Also, Eggsy/Roxy! OMG they are such a BroTP! And Tony/Pepper/Rhodey – I may no like Tony/Pepper as a pairing, but I love them as best friends and of course, our Rhodes, because again, I will fight you on this, they are awesome and Tony needs his best friends!

15. Is there an obscure ship which you love?

I’m not sure there is. I suppose I’ve read a few fics for some random pairings over the years, but nothing that’s made me really ship-ship them. I like Clint Barton/Bucky Barnes, after seeing it as a secondary pairing in a Steve/Tony fic, but I’ve seen that pop up a few times since, so maybe it won’t stay obscure for long!

16. Are their any popular ships in your fandom which you dislike?

Jack/Sam, Tony/Pepper, Ron/Hermione, Harry/Ginny, Buffy/Spike – they all seem to be het pairings, oops. But I am mostly a slash fic reader/writer, so I suppose that’s not too surprising.

17. Who was your first OTP and are they still your favourite?

Jack/Daniel from Stargate SG-1. I still love them. I still read them, although it has been a while since I’ve written them on their own (I have got some SG-1/SGA x-overs where they feature)

18. What ship have you written the most about?

I’m genuinely not sure... without going and counting (and I’m not going any counting!) I’d guess Jack/Daniel, McKay/Sheppard, Jack/Ianto and Steve/Danno.

19. Is there a ship which you wished you could get behind, but you just don’t feel them?

No, not that I can think off. I either like it or not. I do occasionally feel bad for not reading a fic if it’s an author I really like, but I don’t read that fandom or pairing, but nothing specific.

20. Any ships which you surprised yourself by liking?

Robron and Ballum, lol. I do not do soaps!

Author Questions

21. What was the first fanfic you ever wrote?

Stargate SG-1, Jack/Daniel, a story called The Dare, The Disaster, The Almost Happy Ending, And The Very Happy Ending – it was awful. Don’t go looking, lol!

22. Is there anything you regret writing?

Don’t we all? No, I wouldn’t specifically say so. There are certainly fics, especially older ones, I wish I could have written better, but nothing I’d go, ugh I should never have done that.

23. Name a fic you’ve written that you’re especially fond of & explain why you like it.

Uh... honestly that’s really hard. I... um... yeah, I don’t know, really. I wrote a nice little flower one in POI that I felt worked rather beautifully. The Language of Flowers. An I wrote an SGA fic for NaNo a few years ago, called A Different Life, but it’s not online, because I didn’t finish it yet and I knew I wasn’t going to finish it any time soon, so I didn’t feel it was fair to leave it up unfinished (there is a reason I don’t read WiP fics and I don’t post them either, because I know how much I hate unfinished WiPs) Edit: After writing this I reminded myself of a POI fic I wrote called Hours of Separation – It’s a Harold/John break up story that I always intended to write a sequel too where I ‘fixed’ them, but I just couldn’t do it. I broke them a little too well. But I really love it actually.

24. What fic do you desperately need to rewrite or edit?

The afore mentioned A Different Life needs to be edited and finished, lol! Also a Primeval fic with the working title Crypt Keeper (don’t ask) that I worked myself into a bit of a corner on and I figure out how to fix it, but I haven’t done it yet, so it’s still needs fixing and finishing, lol!

25. What’s your most popular fanfic?

I haven’t the foggiest.

26. How do you come up with your fanfic titles?

Sometimes, really easily, a quote, a line from the fic, a song title... other times it’s like pulling teeth, hence working titles on things like ‘crypt keeper’ which is a reference to one scene near the very start and has no actual hint of the plot, lol!

27. What do you hate more: Coming up with titles or writing summaries?

Oh the titles. Summaries you can just copy a few lines from the fic if you are desperate, if you had to post ‘untitled mcshep fic #67’ people would get cranky, lol, hell I’d get cranky!

28. If someone were to draw a piece of fanart for your story, which story would it be and what would the picture be of?

Oh... I... huh. I mean who wouldn’t love fanart for their stories? Any of them honestly! But if I had to choose just one... I guess something in my Animal Instinct verse, which is Primeval (although I always intended to write other fandoms in the verse) where some people transform into animals, based on their ‘spirit animal’ and some art of the characters with their spirit animal form would be awesome.

29. Do you have a beta reader? Why/Why not?

Sometimes, look if you’ve read this far, you know I write in a lot of fandoms, lol. In some fandoms it’s easier than others to find beta readers. Also, sometimes if it’s just something short, I won’t bother. But I do try for my longer fics.

30. What inspires you to write?

That old adage, if you want to read it, sometimes you just have to write it? Spite? Boredom? Honestly sometimes I just have ideas I have to get out of my brain and it’s write or go mad(der)

31. What’s the nicest thing someone has ever said about your writing?

That it inspired them to write something.

32. Do you listen to music when you write or does music inspire you? If so, which band or genre of music does it for you?

Sometimes, sometimes I find it distracting when writing because I end up singing along and forgetting what I’m writing, lol! I do sometimes get inspiration from songs, I guess mostly from the lyrics, but no particular band or genre – although I listen to a lot of country music!

33. Do you write oneshots, multi-chapter fics or huuuuuge epics?

Little from column a, little from column b... littler still from column c...

34. What’s the word count on your longest fic?

Around 60k, I think.

35. Do you write drabbles? If so, what do you normally write them about?

I have. Primeval had/has a week drabble challenge, mostly when I’ve written drabbles it’s been for a challenge, with a specific prompt.

36. What’s your favourite genre to write?

Uh... I mean, my fandoms really span the genres, but I guess sci-fi or crime are probably my favourites.

37. First person or third person - what do you write in and why?

Third mostly, I have occasionally written in first person, if it felt like the fic needed it.

38. Do you use established canon characters or do you create OCs?

Little from column a, little from column b... it depends on the fandom and the story. Sometimes you just need more characters, mostly they are minor roles, I don’t tend to write much established character/oc fic

39. What is your greatest strength as a writer?

Ability to convince myself people will want to read it, lol! No actually to be honest, I love to know people read and like my stuff, but I gave up a long time ago on trying to ‘please’ people with what I write. I write what I want to read.

40. What do you struggle the most with in your writing?

Focus. The problem with 21 years of fandom history, is well... 21 years of fandom history. A lot of fandoms, a lot of pairings and as I say, I never really ‘leave’ a fandom, I just drop in and out and sometimes that means I’ll write on something consistently for weeks or months and then end up getting distracted by another fandom again and not touch it for weeks or months again. Hence, I don’t post WiP fics, because I know I’m easily distracted and don’t want anyone to suffer my lack of focus but me.

Fanfiction Questions

41. List and link to 5 fanfics you are currently reading:

I don’t read WiP fics, so yeah... but 5 I’ve recently read in different fandoms that I’ve really enjoyed

Turns Out, I Have a Rose Garden by betheflame (Steve Rogers/Tony Stark)

Lucky by china_shop (Neal Caffery/Peter Burke/Elizabeth Burke)

Colors by Quesarasara (Sherlock/John)

Betrayal by Blackghost7 (Gibbs/DiNozzo)

Matchmaker (Part 1 of the Marmalade Series) by HastaLux, Mottlemoth (Mycroft Holmes/Greg Lestrade)

42. List and link to 5 fanfiction authors who are amazing:

See now this is hard, because... ahh so many...

FredBassett – Primeval author, her Stephen/Ryan series is epic and brilliant and endless

https://archiveofourown.org/users/fredbassett/pseuds/fredbassett

Keira Marcos – I know other people will have said her, I don’t care. I love all her stuff, across all the fandoms she writes in

http://keiramarcos.com/

theapplepielifestyle – her Steve/Tony is amazing. Hands down some of the best I’ve ever read. I will fight you on this.

https://archiveofourown.org/users/theappleppielifestyle/pseuds/theappleppielifestyle

JillyJames – her Tony DiNozzo is a real life grown up... exactly as he should be considered given he’s a goddamn federal agent!

https://jillyjames.com/

missbecky – I’ve read pretty much all her Steve/Tony and Harry/Eggsy and it’s awesome.

https://archiveofourown.org/users/missbecky

Honestly, I could have listed so many more, but, I’m being good!

43. Is there anyone in your fandom who really inspires you?

Everyone. The thing is, fandom at it’s best is like crack, the more you get, the more you want. The writing, the gifs, the art... it feeds you and makes you want to make more of it, because more of it needs to exist and if that means you need to do it yourself, so be it!

44. What ship do you feel needs more attention?

ALL OF THEM!

45. What is your all time favourite fanfic?

Oh hell no, not even, I can not. It took me an hour to narrow down 5 authors, I can not narrow down one fanfic!

46. If someone was to read one of your fanfics, which fic would you recommend to them and why?

I mean, it depends on what they like... probably the Hour of Separation I mentioned above, if they like the fandom/pairing, or my Animal Instinct stuff.

47. Archive Of Our Own, Fanfiction.net or Tumblr - where do you prefer to post and why?

Archive of our Own. I haven’t touched ff.net in *years* since they started getting super restrictive about what you could post. I do occasionally post stuff to tumblr, but mostly I now post to AO3. I did have my own site and I’ve yet to upload a lot of stuff to AO3 – one of these... months... that will be a project – but it’s amazing. Seriously, having been in fandom 20+ years, going from having to search all over a million different places and now it’s all in one place, where we’re honestly, spoiled and protected. The kids now have no idea how crazy impossible that once seemed.

48. Do you leave reviews when you read fanfiction? Why/Why not?

Yes, but not as often as I should. I love AO3s kudos button, so I can sort of say ‘hey I enjoyed this’ without having to comment, because I sort of hate leaving comments just going ‘hey I enjoyed this’ because I always feel like I should say more, like, oh I enjoyed this specific thing, which yes is an unnecessary hang-up, but there ya go.

49. Do you care if people comment/reblog your writing? Why/why not?

Of course it’s nice to get comments, kudos, reblogs etc. I’m not as attached to them now as I was when I was younger, because I learned along the way that it was more important that I like what I’m writing than that other people do, but it’s still nice to know that something I’ve created is enjoyed.

50. How did you get into reading and/or writing fanfiction?

I went looking for Star Trek Voyager stuff online, pics etc, waaaaaaay back when! And I came across fanfiction entirely by accident... and I read some – het stuff mostly, then I started watching Stargate SG-1, went looking for fanfiction for that, but was not on board with Jack/Sam, found Jack/Daniel went ‘huh really? That’s weird’ read it... and yeah... 21 years later... lol!

51. Rant or Gush about one thing you love or hate in the world of fanfiction! Go!

Ship Wars. No seriously, just don’t. Like, who the actual fuck cares. I like my ship, you like your ship. I don’t care if it’s canon or not. I don’t care if it’s popular or not. I don’t read my NoTPs, but I’d never dream of telling someone else not too. Yes I think they are terrible, bad, no good pairings, but that’s *my* opinion. Don’t try to change my mind and I won’t try to change yours. I avoid them like the actual plague. If someone starts that shit around me, I will shut it right down. You are a dick. Go to Jail. Do not pass Go. Do not collect £200.

#fandom life #fandom

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tirednotflirting · 4 years ago

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(hopefully did this right? we’ll see)

i was tagged by @escapesos, @clumsyclifford, @lukehummingbirdz, and @simp4calum to do this guy! so thnx pals <3

haven’t been online much to know who has done this yet so I’m gonna tag @kaleidoscopeminds, @calumcest, @mashlums, and anybody else still wanting to give it a go :)

here’s the link to do ur own !!!

alright and now onward with my rambling :))))

1. 1989 (deluxe edition) - taylor swift: picking a taylor album was HARD and ultimately 1989 probably isn’t even my favorite taylor album but its the one with the most impact in my life i think. i have this insanely clear memory of sitting in my car the first time i heard ‘wonderland’ and ‘clean’ and just crying like a BABY. up to that point it had been the biggest leap and risk she had taken in her sound and it was just such a joy to step into the planning of a new phase of my life with this album playing in the background. i had always been a taylor fan but for some reason this was the first of her albums (likely due a lot to age but eh) that i heard myself and my experiences in.

2. meet you there tour live - 5 seconds of summer: so (perhaps?) oddly enough this was actually the 5sos album that got me here into this space online. their first two records just didn’t really end up on my radar and while i loved youngblood when it dropped earlier that year, there was something missing in the sound of it at the time to really pull me into the band and their fanbase. and then i got babylon (live) our national anthem on a discover weekly or something and just FELL IN LOVE. like listened to this album only for probably 3 months straight fell in love. 5sos has been the first band whose fanbase i’ve found a home in and quite literally the people i’ve had the opportunity to cross paths with bc of this band are some of the only ones who have made these last six months tolerable. i’m so stupid thankful to 5sos and idk i’m kinda glad that this was the record they put out that brought me in. there’s a lot of them in this live record in a different way than their studio records.

3. BADLANDS (Live at Webster Hall) - halsey: okay anybody in the club seeing this specific choice is not even the slightest bit surprised like i am literally listening to it AS I TYPE THIS. as i’ve discussed many times with miss meg aka @kaleidoscopeminds i miss live music so much IT PAINS ME. so for one of my favorite records of all time to be released as a live concert album last month to celebrate five years since its release is basically a DREAM. the goddess that is halsey and her debut album found me at a hilariously low point in my life and it really brought me a sense of security i’ve never really gotten from another record. it’s so dreamy and LOUD and the perfect highway driving album it was such an ESCAPE. i could talk for days about this album but i’m just on another planet w this live album like she creates such a VISION w the live show for this and you can HEAR IT. more live albums 2k20

4. melodrama - lorde: our LORDE AND SAVIOR AMIRIGHT. this is another one kinda like badlands that sends me off into like a dreamland of color and sound and escape. lorde i think is only really capable of making perfect albums (perfect places amiright??? sorry). she’s such a patient and practiced artist with the way she writes both lyrics and music and it’s an album that i know i’ll be able to turn on in 40 years and just be swept back into my soph year of uni with the blink of an eye. supercut hits particularly deep but also sober and the louvre have such a youthful energy like they’re BURSTING w it.

5. modern vampires of the city - vampire weekend: so excluding the ones i got once i had my car bc i didn’t have an aux in that car, this was the last CD i think i bought with the intention to listen to it on a CD player (still objectively late for that it was 2013). my favorite music moment in like modern times is on this record. it’s at 2:42 in ‘hannah hunt’ and i think it’s just the most happy/sad piano melody i’ve ever heard. last summer i had the chance to see this band for the first time while they were touring their most recent record and it was at a taping for ACL Live and no one was allowed to have their phones out during the taping and i think it was one of the most perfect moments i’ve ever experienced. VW just makes such simply good and beautiful music and this record shows that especially.

6. bad ideas - tessa violet: tessa’s music says so many things but i think most importantly it says “you’re going to experience bad things and they might even be your fault for some reason or another but it’s okay because you will be okay and you will grow and be better for it”. her music is so much about accepting the way your brain works and using that knowledge to better yourself and your decision making rather than letting it tear you apart. i saw her last fall and all i could think about when i left the show was how important it felt for me to be there. like i had been told and seen something impactful on a personal level, not just because it was a damn good show. i suggest listening to this album front to back bc it tells a really specific and detailed story that way. i’ve learned a lot from miss tessa.

7. some nights - fun.: (god i pulled it up just to get in the zone for this one and jesus christ). so in 2012 my life changed a LOT. so much good and bad that its hard to pick out what was what but i DO KNOW that the music was incredible. in 2012 i met the first person who would break my heart (i think?), i started high school, i met some of my best friends at camp, my dad moved and i had to move into a really toxic environment, i had my first marching season, and i spent three months straight that summer listening to this record. i hear this record and i think of climbing up on the roof w my best friend to sing and laugh and watch the stars and make up stories of how amazing perfect high school was going to be. i don’t have those stories or even that friend anymore. but i have this album. it’s like 50 min of pure nostalgia and impossible to not include here. and OF COURSE it’s a jack antonoff project djfkalgfj

always saying too much and nothing at all amiright? a regular ashton irwin over here. if you actually read this ur a real trooper lol

#i got so rambly on this omg sjkdfjaldfj #i love music so much wtf #makes life worth living ya know?#wow i really said jack antonoff rights with almost half of this list lmao

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fyeah-terranigma · 5 years ago

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Gaia Gensouki differences

Hi, recently I started playing through the Japanese version of Illusion of Gaia and while it’s generally known that the western translation was quite bad, there’s a few details about the game that I haven’t seen documented anywhere else, so I’ll do it here.

1. The Sky Garden in Japanese is called 空中庭園, which is a visual pun of sorts. 空中庭園 is simply the normal Japanese word for the real life Hanging Gardens of Babylon, the kanji literally translate to “garden in the sky” or “flying garden”, in the same sense that we have the word “flying buttress” in English, although a flying buttress doesn’t actually fly. The game took this meaning literally and made it a flying Hanging Gardens. The direct connection to the real life Hanging Gardens was also lost in English although it’s obvious from the imagery.

2. This is pretty well known, but the bosses were changed a lot. Castoth is a lot easier since you can just wail at him with Freedan without having to wait for his hands to finish moving. The boss of the Sky Garden is a giant bird, I actually felt he was a bit harder in the Japanese version, he seems to move out of reach of your sword more, but this could just be my memory failing me. In the western version, this is probably the easiest boss in the game. The other bosses are mostly the same, except…

3. The vampire couple were changed the most of all and this is one thing I haven’t really seen anyone mention. Their sprites are quite different, their faces are pointier and their clothes (underneath their cloaks) were changed. Their attack pattern is completely different. In Gaia Gensouki, the female vampire does an attack where a spike comes from the ground while the male vampire drops skulls on the ground that explode, Bomberman style. Their “combo attack” is a laser that travels down the screen, leaving only a narrow space to avoid it, instead of the big orb from the western version. They move around more slowly and I think the timebomb starts out with more time on the clock. The font used for the timebomb is different. I thought the changes to the vampires were the most interesting so far. You can see the Japanese sprites here: https://www.spriters-resource.com/snes/illusiongaia/sheet/65057/

4. The Ocean Palace sequence is a bit more clear in the Japanese. Will/Tim says he has no memory of how he got there or taking off his parachute, implying that the vampires did this to him. The fountain in the basement is “the fountain of blood”, which was censored. The Blazer games contain several references to the classic story of Urashima Taro, which I’ve talked about in a different post, and the seaside palace seems like it might be another reference to the one from the story, although a very loose one.

5. Will’s name in the Japanese version is テム, which is more like “Tem” rather than “Tim”. The katakana for Tim would be ティム. I think this might have been done to save space since the small katakana ィ is not commonly used outside of foreign words and might not have been part of the font used in the game.

6. A lot of stuff in Freejia was censored, one of the guys sitting in the back alleys is a drunk, the slaves are clearly named slaves and not “laborers”. The sequence with the escaped slave is different: the slave says that you should tell the slavers about him, since he doesn’t want to cause trouble for the guy sheltering him. The latter guy also tells you to tell the slavers because he doesn’t really know what to do and doesn’t want to get into trouble. This makes the act of snitching on the slave (slightly) more palatable. I do think that the original intent here was that you should consider whether getting the red jewels was really worth it, since your greed to collect them all may cause suffering as well, and your “reward” for getting all 50 is just a difficult boss fight with Solid Arm. In an interview, Miyazaki mentioned that this was also the idea behind the town expansions in Terranigma; the player was supposed to doubt the decision to expand the towns since it had some bad side effects like Kingbird getting captured and other bad stuff.

7. I haven’t gotten to this part in the yet but I saw a sprite of the Mode 7 dream sequence at the top of Angkor Wat, and the city in the dream is an accurate representation of the area around Shinjuku station in Tokyo, including a lot of geographical detail. I really like this kind of attention to detail in these games.

That’s all for now, I’m currently finishing Mu so I will post more when I get to later parts of the game.

#submission #Zisspeth #illusion of gaia

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blackidyll · 5 years ago

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It's been a long while since I've been on Tumblr, but here I am, trying to get back into my usual rhythm of life. Mainly: I'm alive, but I'm really, really tired.

The end of 2019/beginning of 2020 has been really insane. I fell sick for most of December - the whole cough/cold/sore throat trifecta that got so bad I finally ended up on antibiotics on New Year's Eve. I actually took two weeks of leave in December, but I was so sick and busy during this time that I basically got no rest whatsoever, and when I got back to work in January it was to drop straight into an absolute tsunami of work - one huge project ended the day before Chinese New Year, and immediately after CNY holidays I had another huge executive event to prepare for (I was working over weekends), and when that ended last week I got YET ANOTHER project dumped on me. Covid19 and the political situation in my home country is also taking its toll. I feel like the past two months has been an absolute blur - mostly of stress and negativity.

I'm so tired, you all.

Anyway, I'm trying hard now to pull back and strike a balance between work and having down proper time. I owe quite a few of you replies to messages and chats, and TBH there's like 60+ comments in my AO3 inbox that I haven't had a chance to respond to. I'm going to try hard over the next few weeks to get to all of them. I really appreciate every message and comment I get, because they constantly remind me there's still people and the entire world out there, when sometimes it's so easy to get caught up in my head with all my stresses and worries and the day-to-day grind.

I'm going to go throw a bunch of things in my queue to get this place kickstarted again, but in the meantime - have some fic recs. I've been reading a lot of fic to keep afloat the past three months; these are the WIPs I'm following at the moment. I'm completely out of creativity so my own fics will have to wait, but it always gives me a boost when I see some love for my WIPs, so if any of these appeal to you, give them a read and drop some love to those authors too.

The Bureau Files series by Catsafari [The Cat Returns, episodic/case style canon-based sequel; Baron/Haru]

i kill giants by diasterisms [Star Wars new trilogy; canon-based sequel to The Rise of Skywalker; Rey/Ben]

Ragnarǫkr, Part 3 of the Sharingan Rising series by weialala [Naruto; canon-divergence with supernatural elements; Sasuke-centric, technically Sasuke/Naruto but is more Sasuke's relations with everyone]

Peripeteia, Part 4 of the Carry Your Heart verse by mondaze [Shingeki no Kyojin; canon-based A/B/O verse, eventually diverges at the retake Shinganshina arc because Erwin lives (\o/); Erwin/Levi]

Just Another Day by Tierfal [Fullmetal Alchemist; post-manga series, Roy has severe PTSD; pre-relationship Roy/Ed]

try something new by gdgdbaby [Nezha (2019); post-movie oneshot where the two have grown up and gotten their bodies back; Nezha/Aobing]

WIPs that haven't been updated recently but since I'm on a roll, you all should read them:

Nukume Dori by Leareth [Tokyo Babylon, X/1999; canon-divergence, kind-of time travel with X!Subaru falling back into the TB!timeline with all his memories intact; Subaru/Seishirou, a lot of trio interactions with Hokuto]

boy with a coin, Part 5 of the signal to noise series by twigcollins [The World Ends With You; post-game sequels exploring the consequences of Neku winning the long game and Joshua deciding to bring him back to life; Joshua/Neku]

(more info and my comments on each fic under the cut, because they get long)

The Bureau Files series by Catsafari [The Cat Returns, episodic/case style canon-based sequel; Baron/Haru]

I've been (re)watching Studio Ghibli movies on the weekends and I fell completely in love with The Cat Returns (I love Whisper of the Heart but I missed this movie somehow?). This wonderful sequel fic series focuses on an adult Haru that becomes a full-fledge member of the Cat Bureau and goes on plenty of adventures with the Bureau crew. It's also 500K words (!!!) of delicious slow slow slow SLOW burn between Baron and Haru. I just found out the author will be posting the next installation in the series this month, so you know. Perfect time to read the existing content and then follow the author's weekly updates for more of this amazing series.

i kill giants by diasterisms [Star Wars new trilogy; canon-based sequel to The Rise of Skywalker; Rey/Ben]

Yes, I'm a Reylo fan. I find the grey dynamics between Rey and a vaguely redeemed Ben Solo fascinating. I think it's because I was such a huge Luke and Mara Jade shipper from the Legends days. Anyway, I'd recommend pretty much all of diasterisms's Reylo fics (they nail the characterization + growth arcs incredibly) but this WIP in particular is a direct TROS sequel, which is great for all us fans who were very WTF about the way TROS ended. Also - lots of Force ghosts :D

Ragnarǫkr, Part 2 of the Sharingan Rising series by weialala [Naruto; canon-divergence with supernatural elements; Sasuke-centric, technically Sasuke/Naruto but is more Sasuke's relations with everyone]

I think my bookmark gushes enough about this series (and the previous installment) that I don't need to rehash it here. But anyway, this sequel is flipping amazing. The world building is so incredible omg. The wait between chapters is very long but so very worth it.

Peripeteia, Part 4 of the Carry Your Heart verse by mondaze [Shingeki no Kyojin; canon-based A/B/O verse, eventually diverges at the retake Shinganshina arc because Erwin lives (\o/); Erwin/Levi]

I'm usually very, very particular about my A/B/O verses (the concept squicks me a little but some writers subvert the trope and those are amazing) and this is a really great take on the trope - Erwin and Levi bond first out of necessity and then have to rebuild/realize a romantic relationship out of it later; they're already such strong friends and incredible partners that the bond actually throws them out of whack initially lol. But the evolution of their relationship is so well written, and the sub-plot about Levi being targeted is also great. Anyway, in this particular sequel goes back to the canon-timeline; Erwin survives the Beast Titan charge, everyone finds out about Marley, and the Survey Corps goes on a mission to make contact with the outside world. I don't actually follow the manga but I know enough that this sequel is really intriguing me. Also, Erwin lives. Thank goodness Erwin lives.

Just Another Day by Tierfal [Fullmetal Alchemist; post-manga series, Roy has severe PTSD; pre-relationship Roy/Ed]

Everything Tierfal writes is golden, but this one. Oh man, this one. It gets dark, and sometimes that's bad if you're already stressed (your mood doesn't need more depressing things to drag it down) but sometimes... you also want to indulge in it, because when you see a character go through hard and traumatic times and make it out the other side, it gives you hope too, you know? Anyway, right now at chapter 2, it's all trauma and pain for Roy, so take caution while reading this fic, but......... Ed. Oh my goodness, Ed. He tries so hard. He doesn't give up. This fic reminds me a bit of But Not Buried This Time, where Ed is the one drowning in his guilt... I remember thinking while reading that fic, "goodness, everyone needs a Roy like this in their life." Well, for this fic? I just keep thinking, "goodness, everyone needs an Ed like this in their life."

try something new [Nezha (2019); post-movie oneshot where the two have grown up and gotten their bodies back; Nezha/Aobing]

not a WIP but what the hell. So this version of Nezha is hell of a lot different from the Nezha I remember of my childhood (in that....... Nezha 100% kills Aobing lol and I remember being very conflicted because I love dragons and Nezha kills a lot of them, but at the same time deity!Nezha is pretty badass?). So anyway, someone with creative control DEFINITELY has shipper glasses on when they made this movie, I cannot get over how adorable Nezha and Aobing are. I really enjoyed this movie, it was so over the top and funny. And they made Nezha and Aobing literal soulmates? This fic is cute and adorable because it's Nezha and Aobing traveling and helping the world after they grow up and regain their bodies, and it's just tons of adorable teenage(?) confusion where they're hovering on the edge of friendship and something more. THEY ARE SO ENDEARING I love them!!

Instead of dying on the Promised Day, 25-year-old Dragon of Heaven Subaru wakes up in his 16-year-old body during the Tokyo Babylon timeline. Having seen what the future holds, he decides to continue with his original Bet with Seishirou - this time fighting to win. In the latest installment, we go pass the TB timeline into the years before 1999 and the changes that the divergence makes is just absolutely fascinating, plus we start seeing more of the X/1999 cast, whom I love and adore.

I love Joshua so so much but he digs his own bed willingly and he lies in it with all the broken pride he can muster. He's very much the master of forfeiting the game before he can lose, except this time it's Neku standing beside him, and Neku is very, very stubborn. Trust your bloody partner, Joshua (I say, with all the love in my heart for this Joshua and this poor beleaguered but incredibly stubborn Neku and the all the game mechanics and worldbuilding in this series). Also, the latest cliffhanger is killing me but I'm ready to see Joshua go absolutely feral on anyone who would dare touch his city and his partner.

#*#fic recs #i looked down and then back up and suddenly it's march #and yeah i read in a zillion fandoms that i don't write in. i read a LOT of fanfic #i've been surviving on reading fanfic and listening to studio ghibli OSTs and watching figure skating competitions #i'm so tired i want a nap #btw i've gotten a lot of lovely comments on my fics and i love all of them #but i'm so numb from tiredness it's hard to muster up the energy to reply #but i love them all! esp all the people who commented on my 00Q RB fic #i was feeling very emotional because it's probably going to be my last 00Q fic (unless no time to die really changes things)#and i was stressed from work and CNY obligations but so many people said such lovely things about my 00Q fics #and told me they'll still follow me on tumblr #ahaha i felt guilty because i hadn't been on tumblr for a few weeks even back then #but it was definitely motivation for me to get my ducks back in a row and start using my tumblr again #ngl tumblr will be an escape because if i keep reading local politics and covid19 news on twitter my soul gets sucked into a black hole #i hope everyone else's 2020 is going much better #keep safe keep healthy and please take care of yourselves!!!

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intersex-ionality · 5 years ago

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So you like Star Wars? Do you have any favourite Star Wars media? I do not know if I lean more towards Star Wars or Star Trek, I like them both very much. Have you seen any of the Mandolorian? I haven’t seen the polarizing Last Jedi, Solo or the new Rise of Skywalker you mentioned. What do you think of the latest trilogy? I read lots of spoilers for the movies I didn’t see. I can see why some of movies appealed to some and not others depending on the movie. Different sides. Might see them

The animated TV series are my preferred star wars media, with Clone Wars being my #1 and Rebels being my #2. I’ve never played any of the video games that attach themselves to the themes and canons presented by the TV shows, but I do know they exist. I just don’t… do a lot of video games. I need things that have very simple interfaces, forgiving combat, few or no quick-time events, and very simple or no puzzles. Star Wars games firmly do not fit that bill, even though many of them are single-player, story-driven games which is also something I love.

I haven’t seen Mandalorian yet, which I recognize is a travesty because I love both Star Wars and westerns, and it’s a Star Wars western, but also… TV shows are a lot for me, and live-action TV shows are especially a lot because it’s many many hours of media to wade through, most of it requiring me to gauge people’s body language without the exaggerated trappings of animation. It’s hard! I’ll get there, but maybe not for another few months yet.

As far as the films, my order of preference is:

The Last Jedi

Clone Wars - Animated

Rogue One

Clone Wars - Live Action

A New Hope

The Force Awakens

Return of the Jedi

Empire Strikes Back

Revenge of the Sith

Phantom Menace

Rise of Skywalker

I’m a firm believer in calling one-star wars film a lost cause. When I was very young, I called Empire Strikes Back the lost cause, because I haaaated it. It was so SAD and it ended on so many CLIFFHANGERS and I just hated that. In my young adulthood, I called Phantom Menace the lost cause, because I don’t like the canons it introduces, the implications it raises then forgets, the editing or the directing (though, as a kid, I actually really liked it: it was flashy, it had lots of really easy to understand visual gags and one liners, a child my age was the star, etc and so forth).

But congratulations to TPM, because as of a week ago, it’s back in the running. Rise of Skywalker is my new write-off.

I know it’s a bit of an “unpopular opinion” in major star wars circles–though a very popular opinion in transformative star wars fandom–to say that Last Jedi is my number one choice, but man oh man.

Spoilers for TROS and TLJ from this point forward.

Where some films I could mention, JJ, make a big point of spitting on everything that came before them and focusing only on large action sequences that were done better with worse tech and worse budgets decades ago, Last Jedi is a very Fandom Approach to SW canon. It reconciles the trauma and toxicity of the Jedi Order that the prequels went to such lengths to establish, with the bright-eyed bombast of the original trilogy and its worship of a past that had rusted and decayed but was still considered magical to the people it surrounded.

If you are the kind of person who enjoys reading Star Wars fanfiction, you’ll probably really like Last Jedi. If you are the kind of person who enjoys reading Star wars lore books, you probably won’t. If you’re a more casual fan, you’ll probably enjoy the way it captures that “anyone can be anything” adventure spirit of the original trilogy, but the deep forays into examining the preceding media might be a bit uh… much.

Of course, Last Jedi is like… a Star Wars film. It’s a fantasy adventure series set in space, and it knows and accepts the fundamental nonsensicality of its own premise. If you are looking for something truly grounded and realistic, star wars is simply never going to be the place to go (though, the animated Clone Wars series might be a good start…).

So, I do recommend Last Jedi if you like Star Wars! Just, go into it knowing that it’s quite a tonal departure.

I once described it (though I’m not sure I still would) as “Star Wars for fans of Star Trek.”

In the end, I could never choose between star wars and star trek because, the aesthetic similarities aside, they’re two very different properties in two very different genre, with two very different intentions. Star Trek wants to examine the philosophical implications of a lot of human beliefs, behaviours, and cultures, and uses speculative fiction to do so from a safe distance. Star Wars wants to show the emotional highs and lows of a chosen one and their friends, and uses speculative fiction to make the stakes for those perspective characters about a million times higher than they could be in a real-life scenario. One is about philosophy, and one is about feelings. And while you can philosophize on feelings, or have feelings about philosophy, the two series are just… fundamentally different!! Different stakes, different settings, different tones, different goals.

It’s a lot easier to compare media with more similar genres. Such as comparing Babylon 5 to Star Trek, or comparing Avatar the Last Air Bender to Star Wars.

Rise of Skywalker is… more of a pastiche of other Star Wars films than it is a Star Wars film in and of itself. It spends a lot of time re-creating iconic moments from other films, without putting much effort into making them match the current plot, emotions, etc. It also loses a lot of the emotional power that makes Star Wars so compelling. However, it does have some good points.

For example, I like the part where BB-8 watches Rey heal a snake, and then she decides to try healing another droid herself. So she puts her power cord on the other droid (because the healing was explained to her as “giving up some energy to the other person”), and it works (because the other droid had a dead battery). That was such top tier shit. BB-8 is blessed.

I just… dislike a LOT more than I like, with Rise of Skywalker. Still, if you enjoy Star Wars, it is probably worth catching on streaming or rental. I can’t in good conscience say it’s worth the cost of a theater ticket, that’s a decision you’ll have to make for yourself.

#TROS wank #fandom wank #negativity #star wars wank #star wars negativity #star wars spoilers #tros spoilers #spoilers #whining #oops I have feelings again #Anonymous

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acrazyobsession · 5 years ago

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Babylon 5 - 3x15

“Interludes and Examinations”

The Shadows are attacking openly!

Ivanova: “Everyone's been handling the stress pretty well. But sooner or later, something's got to give somewhere.” Well, Franklin doesn’t seem to be handling anything very well. I thought that after the ritual (or whatever it was with Delenn) where Franklin confessed that he might have a problem, that he would turn around....but it appears that is not the case.

Morden got himself back on the station and killed someone in the process?? And the weird shadow creatures are onboard with him!

Introduction of more aliens. I think this is the weirdest one yet. Some kind of fly/human.

Franklin is off his rails! Yelling at everyone.

Adira is coming back? Londo is going all out for her. I don’t really know how I feel about her. It was good to have the flashbacks to the last time she was on the station so I could remember who she was.

A couple different colorings in this episode. The B&W for the Adira flashback and the red glow for when Morden confronts Londo.

Londo: “There is nothing you can do to me, Mr. Morden that has not already been done.” Those seem like some dangerous words to say to someone like Morden. Why do I have the feeling that Adira is going to get the bad end of this stick?

Garibaldi confronts Franklin about his actions in MedLab. Franklin is not looking very good. He is pale and his eyes look sunken.

Delenn coming to check on Sheridan. My heart explodes!

S: The reports keep coming in. More hit- and- run Shadow attacks. They jump in, blow everything up in sight and then jump out again. They don't even bother to secure the area. It doesn't make sense. D: It's the same pattern they used 1000 years ago. It keeps the major powers off guard, never knowing when to expect an attack.

This conversation reminded me of Battlestar Galactic when the Cylons kept following Galactica no matter where they jumped. Every 33 minutes, I think it was, they would arrive and attack. The crew was on the edge, everyone was sleep deprived, and they saw no end in sight.

But it seems that Delenn has a plan to help unite everyone so that they have a better chance of defeating (or at least surviving) the Shadow attacks. Nope...she believes Sheridan will come up with a plan to give them all a small victory. But her faith in him is heartwarming. And we get a little arm pat. Well it was more than a pat. Her hand stayed there for a little while.

Sheridan decides to go to Kosh. But Kosh doesn’t seem to want to get involved yet. Sheridan: “For three years, you've been pulling everyone's strings, getting us to do all the work, and you haven't done a damn thing but stand there and look cryptic. Well, it's about time you started pulling your own weight around here.” Kosh puts a little Darth Vader death grip on Sheridan, but gives in. A Vorlon ship destroys a couple of large Shadow ships. And magically those on board are rejoicing and ready to fight.

Oh....poor Londo...this is not going to end well for him. He is so excited about seeing her. And I am sure Morden got to her first. Yup! She’s dead.

Morden learns about the Vorlon attacks and sends his creatures after Kosh. So did Kosh refuse to help at first because he knew this would happen? Interesting that Kosh came to Sheridan as his father. I knew he was going to die - I had seen that spoiler accidentally, but it is still too bad. It was actually sadder to listen to Delenn talk about putting his suit in the ship and letting the ship grieve! Damn! I was not expecting that.

Franklin admits to Sheridan that he has been taking stims. I can certainly relate to not wanting to have time to think about things. Keeping yourself--your mind busy. But it doesn’t make things better. So I am glad that he has decided to go figure things out. Good for him.

#leah watches b5 #b5 #babylon 5

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bxcketbarnes · 6 years ago

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Another Year, Another Tour

Pairing: Calum Hood/Reader

Words: 1798

Author’s Note: So, I love the show Bones. Great show. Booth is hot af. Anyway, the episode I was watching the other day had the greatest line in it and I totally needed to put it into a fic. Here is that fic. The line was, “I do facial reconstructions... and him,” but obviously the job will be something else since it’s not an AU. ANYWAY ENJOY xox

Meet You There Tour is a go. I was called by 5 Seconds of Summer’s tour manager, Livvy, to see if I would work with them again as their joint photographer. Obviously, I agreed. I loved being on tour with the boys, not only because I’m Calum’s girlfriend, but because they are just really great and fun to hang out with. Plus, I enjoy working with Andy. He’s a hell of a great photographer.

“So, the flight to Japan leaves this Saturday at six-thirty in the morning. Did Calum tell you?” Liv’s voice comes through the speaker on my phone as I pack my suitcase.

I hum in response, muttering a yeah as I focus all my attention on neatly folding my clothes since I’ll be gone for months.

“Also, you should probably know this… there’s a new girl working on this tour. She’s part of the management team since Dave left to go on vacation with his family in the Bahama’s,” she informs me and I nod my head, grabbing my phone off my bed.

“Good for Dave. He deserves a break,” I chuckle while combing my fingers through my hair. “Have you met her, yet?” I ask, looking down at my nails before picking at them a bit. “Also, do the guys know?”

Shuffling is heard on the other line before Livvy speaks up. “I haven’t no. She actually lives in the U.K. so she’ll be meeting us in Japan, at the venue when we get there. And, no. The guys don’t know yet,” she answers and I nod my head once, letting out a hum.

“Okay. I’ll see you on Saturday then! We’re gonna get drinks, yeah?” I ask her since I actually haven’t seen her since the wrap party after last years tour.

“Of course. There’s a bar in the hotel so we don’t need to go far,” she chuckles and I chime in as well, giggles leaving my lips. “Have a good night, Y/N. Say hi to Cal for me.”

My head rests against Cal’s shoulder, eyes drooping shut every couple of minutes as we all waited for our flight. I didn’t get much sleep last night and I had to get up at five am. The brunette grabs my hand, lacing our fingers together as his thumb gently strokes the back of it.

“I told you to go to bed early,” he mumbles into my ear and I let out a scoff, tilting my head to look up at him.

“I tried, but someone decided to visit,” I giggle tiredly, nuzzling my face into his neck. “It’s fine. I’ll get to sleep on the plane. Plus, I enjoyed last night.”

Calum chuckles, pressing a quick kiss to my head. “Yeah. I think it was the first time in a while where we just had a night to ourselves. I love our friends, don’t get me wrong, but I love just laying in bed with you and doing absolutely nothing,” he mentions and I agree, nodding my head slightly.

“Flight 349 to Osaka is now boarding,” the woman on the intercom spoke in a monotone voice.

Everyone had got up, gathering their carry on bags and heads towards the gate we needed to go to. Our hands never separated as we made it to the gate and I grab my passport and plane ticket from my pocket, handing it to the man that stood by the door.

The older man checked everything before handing it back to me, wishing me a good flight as my hand left Cal’s. I slowly make my way onto the plane, hearing the guys close behind me. My eyes search for my assigned seat, muttering apologies to people I’d run into accidentally. I found my seat and I shove my carry on into the small cubby above the seats before sitting down beside the window.

Calum sits down beside me after about a minute, his hand landing on my thigh as a sigh leaves his lips. “I think I might just take a nap with you,” he mumbles and tilts his head towards me, a lazy grin on his plump lips.

“Naps are the absolute best. I totally think you should,” I grin and lean over, kissing his lips. I pull away after a couple seconds, a whine leaving his lips. “Hopefully someone will wake us up when we get there.”

A little over twelve hours later our plane flies into Japan. The smile on my lips widens at the beautiful country as I had missed being here. “Dude, we totally need to get more of those different flavored kit kat’s,” I tell Calum, glancing towards the brown-eyed boy as he rolls his eyes.

“Why? You didn’t even like most of the ones we got last time,” he mentions and a scoff leaves my lips.

“We didn’t even get all of them. Hence why we need to get more,” I state with a duh expression on my face.

Cal reaches over and grips my chin in his hands, shaking my head a bit. “Fine. Only because I love you, though,” he laughs and I give him a cheeky wink. The airport was coming into view as we began to descend, the stewardess telling all the passengers to put on their seatbelts.

It becomes a bit crowded as everyone gets off the plane, entering the busy airport as I look around for Cal and the guys. I bite my lip, getting a bit nervous as I can’t find them and continues to turn in circles to look among thousands of faces.

“Y/N! Babe, over here,” I heard his voice call out and I snap my head towards the sound, standing on my tippy toes. I see the beautiful brunette wave his arm above his head, seeing them standing beside the conveyer belt that the suitcases come out on.

I squeeze my way through the people, making my way towards them. A smile comes to my lips as Cal had grabbed both mine and his suitcase, the five of us beginning to walk towards the exit of the airport to meet everyone else before heading to the venue.

“Is there a reason we always go to the venue first?” I ask while chuckling, trying to grab the handle of my suitcase, only for Cal to roll it away from me.

He shrugs his shoulders, smiling down at me as we can hear screams coming from outside. “I don’t know, babe. To see everything before the show since we get busy with interview’s and stuff?” Cal questions and I snap my fingers.

“True. God, you always so right,” I laugh and link my arm with his.

“Of course I am,” he scoffs in a dramatic way as the doors to the airport open. The screams become louder as our security team holds the girls back so they don’t trample over us. Here we go…

The boys, Andy, and I step into the back of the venue after almost half an hour of them saying hi to the fans. I fiddle with the camera that hangs from my neck, grinning ear to ear as I remember the memories of the last time I was here. The time Cal and I had our first kiss.

“You guys made it!” Liv’s voice calls out and I turn my head towards her voice, seeing her walking up to us. She gives everyone a hug, a small smile on her lips while playing with the lanyard on her neck. “So, there’s someone I want you to meet.”

A platinum blonde makes her way towards us and I can’t help but look over her features. Well, damn, she’s definitely gorgeous. A smile comes to her lips as she gained each guy’s attention and stops about a couple inches from us. “Hi! My name is Carly. I’ll be a part of the management team this tour,” she tells us in her English accent, her blue eyes moving to each person.

“H-Hi, I’m Calum,” my boyfriend stutters and I raise an eyebrow, turning my head towards him as I cross my arms over my chest. Oh, really? I roll my eyes a bit as she reaches forward to shake his hand, moving to each other band member first before looking towards Andy and me.

“You guys are?” She asks and Andy introduces himself first, a respectful smile on his lips. Carly’s eyes move towards me after he was done, waiting for an answer.

“I’m Y/N. I do the photography… and him,” I nod my head towards Calum with a distinct tone of voice, a smile on my lips. Her lips part a bit, glancing towards Calum as his eyes were on me, lips parted in surprise.

“Okay,” Carly drags out, laughing awkwardly while tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, “it’s nice to meet you all.”

Calum and I got into our hotel room, my heart pounding against my chest as I fear that I’ve said too much earlier. I chew on my bottom lip, glancing towards the bassist as I drag my suitcase towards the corner of the room.

A sigh leaves Cal’s lips as he plops onto the bed, turning onto his back. “So, what was that back there?” He asks and I narrow my eyes at the man.

“Are you kidding? I should be asking the same question Mr. I Stutter At The New Pretty Girl,” I mumble and Calum sits up.

“Okay, I’ll admit that she’s really pretty but I was just surprised. I’m not mad about what you said if that’s what you’re worried about,” he mentions and I sigh softly, moving to sit next to him on the bed.

He sits up, grabbing my hand and intertwines our fingers. “It just slipped out honestly. I just wanted to let her know that you were taken,” I shrug and glance towards him to see a silly grin on his lips.

“Well, you’ve definitely shown that. Putting out our sex life, geez,” Cal chuckles and I smack his chest, letting out a small giggle as well. “I mean… if you really wanna let everyone know about us then we can totally break in this king-size bed.”

He gives me a wink as his hand leaves mine and slides it across my lower back. I hum in thought, shifting a bit so I straddle his lap. “That does sound tempting,” I whisper and runs my fingers through his hair. “I love you.”

Calum grins, leaning upwards to press his lips against mine. A deep sigh releases through my nose as my other hand strokes his cheek while moving my lips against his. After a few moments, he pulls away, his forehead resting against mine. “I love you too. So so much.”

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jeannereames · 5 years ago

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Could you comment on kasta tomb? Is the excavation still ongoing? Has there been new discovery/hypothesis/debate? For a while it was all over the news then it fizzled out. Google searche only surfaces old articles. What's the academic consensus, if any, regarding whether it was a dedication to Hephaistion?

Okay, so, for the TL;DR crowd:

1) The excavation is more-or-less on hold due to lackof funding (like a lot of excavations in Greece).

2) No new discoveries for reason 1, plus the usualquagmire in Greek archaeology of access to a site and turf wars. But, thesethings also take time.

3) It wasn’t a dedication to Hephaistion. I don’tknow an academic (outside the excavator’s team) who genuinely believes it was. Attachingit to H. (or any other major figure at ATG’s court) is part of the usualattempt to get media attention (and funding).

Let’s start with #3, which will in turn answer #s 1 and 2.

First rule of archaeology: gold and famous names raise money.It doesn’t matter how important one’s discoveries actually are for the field,it matters how well the lead archaeologists can market what they’re finding topeople/gov’t with funds. Sometimes really good (non-gold) artwork also can beused for attention.

Witness how the archaeologists at Bethsaida (Israel) havehandled the finding of an iron-age stele w the image of the moon god in a “highplace” in the gate. This is *really cool*, given the date (900s?). But do theytalk about its rarity, etc.? Oh, hell, no. The email I got from Rami pointing to anarticle about the find from Israel’s Jerusalem Post announces, “Archaeologists identify citygate from time of King David.”

Famous name! Especially in Israel.

Now, compare: “Large Looted Tomb from Hellenistic Period Foundin Northern Greece,” or “Archaeologists Report they may have Found the Tomb ofAlexander the Great’s Mother/Best Friend/General…etc.” Now, which of those isgoing to get anybody to read the article? :-D

That’s how you get media attention (and hopefully, money tokeep digging, as archaeology is EXPENSIVE). Yet if the claim turns out to bebogus/unsupported, the media attention goes away or can even turn against theexcavator. If/when the first goes down, sometimes the team tries to come upwith other exaggerated explanations to maintain that spotlight, but this canjust dig the grave deeper.

So, why couldn’t this tomb be Hephaistion’s?

First, there are other burials in it—five people to be exact.Were it a monument for Hephaistion, it would be a cenotaph, not a tomb (hisbody was burned in Babylon), and it would be solo, not have other people there.Macedonian Tombs come in two basic types: solo and family. We do have otherfamily tombs (most famously, the Tomb of Lyson and Kallikles, excavated byStella Miller-Collett), and this appears to be similar to that. So attachingthis tomb to Hephaistion faces the immediate problem of, “Uh…other people?”

(Couldn’t they be his surviving family? Well, maybe, but it’sstill really weird. Trying to argue such a thing would be better called “reaching.”*grin*)

The presence of an older woman in (if I recall right) her60s, led some to propose it was Olympias in there—except, again, other people,plus we know (from ancient testimony) that Olympias was buried in Pydna (whereshe was murdered on Kassandros’s orders). So it’s also not Olympias. BothOlympias and Hephaistion are important enough that they’d have merited a solo,not family, tomb. (And most all of Olympias’s family were killed and buriedelsewhere.)

Another name put forward is Nearkhos, one of Alexander’sgenerals, who had land in the Amphipolis area. At least he is a possible candidate,although the tomb might be too late for him (but he sure as hell would have hadthe money for it). Like our Macedonian soldiers, Lyson and Kallikles, Nearkhosmight have sought to establish a family tomb. Again, it’s a reasonablepossibility, just a question of whether the tomb is too late.

Back to Hephaistion (and why it’s not him)…

The argument that it is rests on the presence of some graffiti on stones. First, the graffiti does NOT name Hephaistion (that’s an interpretationby Peristeri and her team). Second, if this were a tomb memorializing such animportant person, why on earth would it be indicated by graffiti?

The graffiti says “arelabon” followed by the letters Eta andPhi (and maybe a sigma?). Peristeri has turned that into “parelabon” and “Hephaistion”:received by Hephaistion. Problem: “arelabon” appears twice, missing thenecessary “pi” in both cases. While missing letters in inscriptions is hardlyunusual, missing the same one in two different places is odd. I’m not going toplay with that further, just leave it for true epigraphers. (I’m aprosopographer, so I deal with epigraphy only occasionally and largely withnames.) What I really want to kick to the curb is the idea that the letters area monogram for “our” Hephaistion.

My current research work involves epigraphical occurrences ofHephaistion, as well as other Hephais-based names in both their Attic-Ionic andDoric forms. Trust me, there are a LOT of names that start with Eta-Phi, evenbeyond Hephais-based names. But even if this meant “Hephaistion” the nature ofthe graffiti itself suggests somebody working on the tomb: an architect,mason, or other craftsman—not the person for whom it was made. We find suchcrafters marks on pottery, bronze, etc. (We also find such etched names on dedicationsin temples, but I don’t think that applies here.)

I think if this was really referencing Hephaistion Amyntoroshis full name would have been given (not a monogram), and it would be a lotmore prominent within in the tomb.

Furthermore—and one of our eternal problems with IDingMacedonian tombs—is that, unlike many figured tombstones (stele), Macedoniantombs usually DON’T name the dead person buried there, even when we suspect theymay portray the dead persons image (like the Tomb of Judgement at Lefkadia).The Tomb of Lyson and Kallikles is unusual. Instead, we get names like the Tombof Judgement, or the Tomb of the Palmettes. The Tomb of Eurydike was calledthat by later archaeologists; there’s absolutely no indication that it belongedto Philip’s mother. It’s almost certainly a woman’s tomb, but that’s about allwe know.

And oh dear, wouldn’t the whole Royal Tomb II at Verginadebate be SO much simpler if there was actually a flippin’ name on the tomb?!There’s not.

Identifying who’s buried in a tomb is REALLY HARD. Itdepends on dating, objects, and probabilities.

So yeah, some craftman’s graffito on the Kasta Tomb means zilch,except that he got his wish and has been spoken of by posterity.

So…trying to turn this into a cenotaph or tomb ofHephaistion is a pile of …wishful thinking. 😉 It’d be cool if it was…but it’s going to takea LOT more evidence to make that claim (not to mention explaining the 5 peoplein there).

Another problem is trying to DATE this sucker.

Those who want to tie it to Alexander more directly are desperateto make it early Hellenistic, despite clues to the contrary ranging fromarchitecture to the gown style of the Karatids. I’m not an art historian, so Iwon’t dig into that. I’ll simply point to one thing I found extremely curiousbut have not seen anyone (yet) address: the use of blue in the mosaic.

Now first, no silliness please about the Greeks not “seeing”blue; that was going around the internets for a while. Yes, they saw blue! Butthe color palette common to painters like Apelles in the late Classical period weremore earth tones. (Again, not an expert. I’m just gonna point to the word ofOlga Palagia, et al. Go and read Olga.) We find these colors in the pebblemosaics at Aegae (Aigai) and Pella, as well as Dion, et al. Even in thebeautiful Persephone painting in Tomb I and Aegae/Vergina.

The first time I saw that BLUE in the Kasta Tomb mosaic, itreally struck me. Unfortunately, art historians tend to catalogue mosaicsby how they’re made, not the colors in them, so I haven’t been able to track thisdown further, except to say that I, personally, have not seen an early Hellenisticpebble mosaic in Macedonia that used blue pebbles. Maybe there’s one hiding ina museum basement somewhere, but these mosaics are pretty spectacular and tendto be shown off. Blue as a color in mosaics is later, showing Egyptian influence.It’s also seen more in tessera mosaics than pebble, which were going out ofstyle by the Roman era. (I think the last datable pebble mosaic is from Delos,1st century BCE—again, Olga.)

So given the use of blue in that mosaic, I’d prefer to see adate that’s mid-Hellenstic at the earliest.

Ergo, we’re probably looking at the family tomb of animportant Hetairos during the Antigonid Dynasty. That’s my best guess.

Incidentally, pointing to the 4th century AmphipolisLion and saying, “Well, it was on top, so the tomb must be 4thcentury!” is horrible methodology. Something stuck on the top of thetomb (which may or may not have been there originally) does not date the tomb. Evenif the lion had been inside, that doesn’t help. Let me explain with an example:

Just because you want to be buried with your great-aunt Bertha’sWWII WAVE wings does not mean that *you* fought in WWII. 😉 It means you were buried with an antique. Sothe presence of the lion means only that the tomb probably can’t date BEFOREthe 4th century lion. That doesn’t mean it can’t date afterit. In fancy archaeologist-speak, the Amphipolis Lion provides only a “terminuspost quem” (earliest date for X), not a “terminus ante quem” (latest date for X).

#Kasta Tomb #Macedonian archaeology #Hephaistion #Hephaestion #classical archaeology #amphipolis tomb

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