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Alrighty y'all, grab a chair and get comfy whilst I yap about my son, my pride and joy, the greatest thing to ever happen to me, my D&D OC: Raymond Foxwood. He is a Wood Elf Druid with the Researcher background and a Neutral-Good alignment (Images at the very end).
I haven't figured out what his voice sounds like yet. I'm thinking he may kind of have an accent? But like it's barely there. I do have an idea for a possible Japanese voice claim: Souta from the movie Suzume.
His best friend? I guess it would be my friend's D&D character. Her name is Topaz and she is a Dragonborne. Not besties, but pretty close.
Ooooooo boy, I got a whole playlist my friend and I have been cooking up for this sad little fella. Here's a couple of them that I think describes him best:
-"The Moss" by Cosmo Sheldrake
-"Rom-Com Gone Wrong" by Matt Maltese
-"When She Loved Me" by Sarah McLachlan
-"Home" by Cavetown
-"Valentine" by Laufey
-"Love Like You" by Rebecca Sugar
He's like, dealing with a heavy breakup until "Valentine" when he meets his current partner :)
4. "I do Adore" by Mindy Gledhill
5. Nope! But I actually thought about it when I was first creating his character just to see how he would act with other dynamics.
6. A scientist. More specifically, an ecologist. He loves nature and learning about all there is to know about life and the world. He also likes finding ways to help others, so maybe even a pharmacologist?
8. Writing, researching, reading, gardening, and making little insect and animal models because he is a NERD™ /lh<3
9. He generally takes good care of his physical health. Although, his flaw is "Most people scream when they see a demon. I stop and take notes on its anatomy," soooo. "For science" he says. "It's for the greater good" he says.
10. Well he's trying his best. But sometimes anxiety just surprises you and all of the sudden you're spiraling and things seem much worse than they are and pfffft whaddya meeeeaaaan I'm sorta self projecting? But he is the kind of person who feels bad about asking for help and then sort of holds it all in.
11. Inspirations were taken Link from The Legend of Zelda series (mainly BOTW) and Howl from Howl's Moving Castle for his design. Everything else was based purely on my own self indulgences for a nerdy elf character (and the songs my friend keeps sending my for him).
12. Same response as question 2 :)
13. No not really, but he is fighting against an organization that keeps threatening and trying to burn down the library he works/lives in with the librarian: Amanita (Ama, Anita, or Nita for short). Amanita is the person who raised and took care of Raymond after his family died in a fire. A fire caused by the same organization who's trying to harm them now. This is his main reason for joining a campaign; to get stronger and protect his loved ones.
14. This one flippin poison dragon we fought. Or maybe that's just me because I really didn't want to let them leave alive. I don't think Raymond necessarily hates anyone.
15. That all honestly depends on how the rest this campaign will play out. My friend has told me that they all did die a couple times, and we almost died to the STINKIN DRAGON but that's not important right now. But L O R E wise, he'd probably still do his researcher stuff until he's really old. Then he'll write books and share his stories :)
16. If they were alive, then I could see him having a great relationship with his parents since they were also big nerds like him. His relationship with Amanita is also great, and he really wants to protect her since she has done so much for him.
17. YESSSSSS! He loves sharing his knowledge with others and would do such a great job teaching kids. Ohhhh this is such a good one, yes he would feel bad if he had to leave them.
18. He/Him :>
19. Biromantic Asexual. His love language in giving is Acts of Service, and Quality Time for both giving and receiving.
20. A longbow and rocks. He has a cantrip spell called "Magic Stone" which lets me make a ranged attack by throwing small pebbles or stones. I like to call this spell the "RAYMOND, STONE 'EM" spell because its funnnnyyyy.
21. hmmmmmmmmmm Actually, I'm not sure! I guess maybe "Nothing You Can Take From Me" from The Hunger Games: The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes.
22. Will generally go for the non-violent option (more of a lover), but if initiatives are rolling, he'll fight.
23. Extremely. He'll show up with a new tire to fix the flat one, and an extra one for any future situations.
24. Undecided
25. Not singing out loud, but he would definitely hum to himself! :)
26. Irises, forget-me-nots, and bluebells
27. Symbolism wise, a deer. 'Just because' wise, a rabbit, a fox, and a kitty cat :3
28. The Nerds™ (found at the end of this post:) ).
29. Cozy stuff, lo-fi, books, plants, leather notebooks, and an overall sort of cottage core mixed with academia aesthetic. (Mood Board made in Canva :>)
30. Accepts this as their new life(yippee!). They have now been adopted. Will try to find a way to bring up their interests in conversations.
Fuck it, OC brain rot won. Get ready for the Secret Ask List
1) Does your OC have a voice claim, if so who?
2) Who's your OCs best friend? How did they become best friends?
3) What song describes your OC?
4) What song describes your OC and their partner/love interest?
5) Do you ship your OC with a Canon character? If so who?
6) If your OC is in a fantasy setting, what profession would they be in the modern day?
7) Vice-Versa! If your OC is in the modern day, what fantasy class would they be? Would they be a different race?
8) What hobbies does your OC have? What do they do to unwind?
9) How does your OC handle their physical health? Do they take care of themselves?
10) How does your OC handle their mental health? Do they take care of themselves?
11) What was your inspiration for your OC?
12) Does your OC interact with other people's OC? If so, who's their best OC friend?
13) Does your OC have a rival? How did it start?
14) Who's a character your OC cannot stand! It's on sight when they see them!
15) Will your OC ever retire? Do you see them making it?
16) How's their relationship with their parents? Are they alive?
17) If your OC has kids, are they a good parent? Do they ever feel guilty if they have to leave them?
18) What are their pronouns? What would they like to be called?
19) What's their sexuality? What's their love language both giving and receiving?
20) If they fight, what's their weapon of choice?
21) What song best describes their relationship with their enemy?
22) Fight or Flight? Are they a lover or a fighter?
23) Is your OC reliable? Can I call them up at two in the morning if I have a flat tire?
24) Can they play any instruments? If so, what do they play?
25) Are they the kind of person who can't resist a good song? Can I catch your OC singing to themselves while they do the dishes?
26) What flower do you associate your OC with?
27) What's their spirit tamagotchi? Or an animal you associate them with?
28) What clique would they be in? (Draw them in the clothes of said group!)
29) Imagine a mood board for your OC! What's on it? (Make it if you want!)
30) My OC and your OC are friends. This isn't a question. I'm not asking. (How do they respond?)
#MY SON#MY BOY#OH HOW I LOVE HIM#HE MEANS EVERYTHING TO ME#YOU HAVE NO IDEA#*vigorously shaking op* THANK YOU FOR THIS#I don't have a favorite child#but if I did#it might be Raymond#yapping#talk tag#my ocs#original character#reblog#starshinedreamerpost
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How do u think the chromatic crew's handwriting would be like?
I think Color’s handwriting would be really really bad, particularly in the very beginning—when he’s not only adjusting to using pens and pencils again, but adjusting to only have one eye and adjusting to seeing in different types of lighting after having gotten used to the conditions of the Void—but im also considering the possibility that, when in Color is filled with Perseverance, there’s noticeable change in his handwriting.
This is the same when he’s filled with the other soul traits of course, such as become more like a young child’s handwriting when filled with Kindness, but I bring up Perse specifically because my thoughts keep circling back to an ask I got about if Color would be effected by or have any disorders or conditions that any of the souls might’ve had when they were alive.
And while I was copying the Wikipedia pages for every canon thing we know about the six souls, their items and everything, down into a little journal notes app thingy for later use; I came across the fact that the notebook’s handwriting is stated to contain “illegible scrawls” when checked. Meaning the handwriting is very hard to read.
This could be for many reasons, of course. The passage of time and a natural wear and tear of exposure to the elements, of course. The fact that the child with the Perseverance soul was a child. They could’ve been writing very quickly; out of fear, frustration, in a hurry, maybe quickly wanting to write everything down before forgotten or as they happened.
But there’s also the fact that another item associated with this soul are the cloudy glasses, said to be marred with wear. The fact they needed glasses suggests problems with eyesight, and if the glasses were marred by the time they were writing in the notebook, would explain bad handwriting as well.
So problems with eyesight whenever Color is filled with Perseverance is one thing he could struggle with that makes his handwriting decrease, even as his own handwriting abilities—which were effected by his lack of much need for such skills, lack of access to the tools needed for writing (besides maybe Patience’s spinning knives?) as well as his physical disability—increased and approved with time and practice.
Another thing I considered awhile back when discussing the idea of Abyss!Sans being dyslexic with a friend on Discord is: what if, not only did Perse have problems with eye sight when they were alive, but what if they had dysgraphia?
Dysgraphia is a neurological disorder that impacts a person's ability to write and produce written language.
It's also known as a specific learning disorder in written expression. Dysgraphia can affect handwriting, spelling, grammar, punctuation, and the organization of written work. It can also impact the ability to recognize and decipher written words, and the relationship between letter forms and sounds.
One of the many signs and symptoms of dysgraphia is even stated to be poor or illegible handwriting.
So i think Color’s handwriting can noticeably get worse when he is filled with Perseverance, because of Perse’s poor eyesight and possible dysgraphia, but also when influenced by younger souls like Ness and Pat.
I think Delta’s handwriting can noticeably change as well, due to Beta, but I do think his handwriting is actually rather easy to read when you read notes about his work related stuff—equations, math, things like that. It’s when he’s writing things about like, grocery lists, that it’s less written with care and he’s just writing however he pleases.
I feel like Killer’s handwriting has potential to also be affected by his eyesight, or lack thereof—as well as tremors or cramps in his hands. He and Color very likely can and do write in Arabic—and this is possibly how they’re used to writing if this was how they were taught.
They are likely more used to writing right to left, and that is likely to show itself even when they’re both writing in English and trying to write left to right. His and Color’s handwritings may seem more fluid and connected, or semi cursive.
Color and Killer, when writing in English, may also struggle with things like capitals, uppercase and lowercase letters because (according to Google at least) Arabic script does not typically require lowercase or uppercase letters. There are also things like pressure, stroke styles, different punctuation rules, etc.
I’m not sure why exactly, but I feel like Epic is pretty good at reading and writing in cursive. I haven’t completely finished reading everything on his and Cross’ canon materials just yet, but Epic’s handwritings is likely influenced by his scientific background; Cross’ royal guard background may also play a factor for him as well.
#howlsasks#anon tag#utmv#sans au#sans aus#chromatic crew#epic sanses#killer sans#color sans#cross sans#epic sans#delta sans#utmv headcanons#plural color#system color#othertale six human souls#perseverance soul#purple soul#fallen children#fallen humans#killer!sans#color!sans#epic!sans#cross!sans#delta!sans#othertale sans#something new sans#epictale sans#ultratale beta#vitaltale
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Bad Kids (partially shameless projection) queer identity headcanons be upon ye
Notable that I think culturally literally anything that is not human has different ideas of gender than us. Some are very close to the point it hardly matters in a discussion like this (like elves and dwarves. It's mostly the same but I do think most elves are what humans consider to be feminine because they have a different idea of masculinity ((grace)). Or like, most dwarves seem masculine to humans for the simple reason that they all tend to have beards. Stuff like that.), but the further away you get from being hey pretty close to what a human is (like orcs or goblins) the further you stray from human understanding of how things work.
What if being intersex is way more common in a race of people, the concept of gender immediately becomes either way looser and less important or important with completely different values. Also I work under the assumption that whatever counts as "humanoids" (which is a very human-centric term but I like to think that's just because our POV is from a language that is inherently human) is a mammal and will generally have two sexes. But like, there's organisms with more or less than that, and in a fantasy world there's absolutely societies of intelligent species with similar characteristics. Imagine a weird hand wave, not relevant to this specific discussion as the bad kids are all human-shaped but it's something I find interesting. What would gender be like in that society if they had it at all? Living somewhere where that concept isn't really a thing (or at least not a thing in the way we understand it to be) sounds kinda awesome.
That said. Solace is a society mostly shaped by human standards and everyone who lives there somewhat conforms to them; and anyone who grows up there is probably socialised accordingly. Also Gorgug is adopted and doesn't seem all that connected to his roots and Riz is a third gen immigrant who doesn't get to see his extended family all that much. What I'm saying is everything I just said hardly matters in the context of the Bad Kids. Yeah. I just wanted to say it. I'm. I'm autistic. Thanks for reading my word vomit you're a real one for sticking through this far here's what I actually wanted to say.
Kristen. Obviously a lesbian. she/her and calls herself a woman but ultimately doesn't really. Care that much? About gender? And would not mind being referred to with masculine terms, it's more a matter of being afab so that's what she's going with.
Adaine I think has experimented with she/they pronouns. Often times she feels like her perception of life goes far beyond whatever societal constructs influence the present and she does not feel particularly attached to the idea of womanhood. I think she's aro spec but probably allosexual? Develops interest in all that a bit later than her friends and even then it's not. The same. She thinks guys are attractive, maybe girls sometimes, but doesn't actually feel inclined to do anything about that? Isn't looking to get into relationships or anything but yeah.
Riz is aroace because yeah. Personally I think oriented aroace because Baron being masc-ish does mean something to me, so he doesn't necessarily say it / find it relevant for other people to know but Riz personally IDs as gay + aroace. He does think some guys are attractive he's just sex repulsed lmao. I think he's the flavour of aroace where he'd happily engage in deep emotional bonds he just really doesn't understand what the fuck romantic feelings are supposed to be and how it'd be different than just loving his best friend(s) truly so much and is discomforted by the societal expectations and restrictions around the concept of "dating". ALSO about gender he's a he and its whatever. Does not care. Gender apathetic in the way Kristen is.
Gorgug isn't particularly attached to any labels, I think. He just likes who he likes, which is several people sometimes because he's also polyam. I think his lax view of his own inherent queerness has a lot to do with how open (and also inherently queer) his parents are. He just never really thought about it. Hit puberty and started thinking guys are hot and went okay this is not in any way special I'm way more worried about my favourite emo band breaking up rn. The only reason he ever came out to his friends was because he asked them for advice on how to bring up that he's polyam with Zelda (who I think was super cool with that and honestly from what we know that might be culturally normal to her), he does not consider it to be particularly noteworthy. Gorgug is similarly not particularly concerned about gender. I think he goes by any pronouns but also doesn't bring that up unless someone asks because he truly does not care or think it's a big deal.
Fabian's entire general person-ness feels queer to me idk. Bisexual and polyamorous. Probably aro-spec but he needs more time to figure that one out. Exclusively finds himself interested in women who are taller than him, this has nothing to do with being queer I just wanted to note that. He's the only one of the Bad Kids where I want to confidently say yeah this is a he/him man and he feels both comfortable in and connected to his masculinity. He ventures into gender nonconformity (starts with painting his nails, then make up, maybe a skirt when he's chilling at mordred manor) more and more as he gets older and more comfortable, I think, but that kind of only reaffirms to him that he's a man and loves being a man? Idk lol. Also for the record this is nonconformity in the context of Solace. For (high-)elven standards he's not like hypermasc dude bro but he's a pretty "manly" guy. Fallinel is like twink nation idk what to tell you. Now whether he's cis or not is a different question, while I personally think he is I do make a little mental cheer every time someone makes him trans.
Fig. They/she/it. She struggles with the disconnect she feels between her and the girl she thought she was a lot and it sucks, but eventually it does lead them to reexamine how they see themself and their identity and stuff. I think she eventually comes to the conclusion that yeah she has some attachment to femininity but ultimately exists in a space beyond the binary. Which is cool. Idk what label Fig would use, if any at all, but maybe something loose like genderqueer.
I know it's very commonly accepted that she's bisexual but like. Honestly. I think that was comphet. I think Fig is a lesbian who had some of the most horrendous comphet imaginable. None of their interest in those (concerningly) older men was genuine and it was all pretending to be someone else to get something and she isn't even sure why she wants that something that she can't quite place. And even though it longs so badly for the validation and confirmation that it's fitting into whatever role it is Fig is trying to emulate, she doesn't ever actually dare to get "serious". That's not actually what she wants. Uncomfortable and deeply concerning desperation for sexuality from a teenage girl who probably isn't a girl and certainly isn't actually interested in any of the men she's pursuing, and is so scared of just having to exist as herself deep down is such a real experience and if d20 wasn't a comedy show this could be the most visceral arc.
#huge thing that was in my drafts that I completely forgot about but now it's here#This is like three separate posts I wanted to make but I made them all one post for some reason that's insane#I have more thoughts about this actually but if I try to add to this I'll get a headache#maybe some other time#rambling into the void#dimension 20#fantasy high#headcanons#bad kids#fabian aramais seacaster#riz gukgak#fig faeth#figueroth faeth#gorgug thistlespring#adaine abernant#kristen applebees#queeries
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So, as a society, do we want to do a Jayvik secret Santa with fanfictions/art this year or-
#i actually have no idea how you organize stuff like this#but like#if there are people who want to di it#let's do it#arcane jayce#arcane#victor arcane#jayvik#jayce talis#arcane netflix#jayvik secret santa
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indeed my exact process once every 8 months or so
#I just thought today of a new way to format a 'profile' (like the descriptions of self that people use on friend meeting#apps and stuff) and how to organize the sections so that it seems such and such a way and oh what if there's links which click off#into branching paths so it's very acessible and there are two different forms depending on so on and so forth#and i was like 'um.. wow. amazing idea. this will be soooo aweseome and will definitely work' but then .. you know...self reflection#lol.. is this just like the millions of other iterations of a similar thing? No.. This Is Different ... Surely...#Though if I had a millionaire friend and a few people who do the type of coding you use for web design stuff and etc..#I could create the most elaborate detailed and amazing platonic friend seeking (and I guess you could also have 'dating' as an option#since that would draw in more of a crowd) website on the earth.. the new okcupid (back when okcupid didn't suckishly abandon their#whole format in hopes of trying to become just like tinder or whatever and they actually had like tons of info and percentages and#open answer questions and would list personality traits on a profile (like 'this person is more Open To New Expereinces than 65% of#other users' etc.). etc. etc. Oh what a beautiful thing I could craft for the detail freaks of the world.... Alas...#unfortunately we seem to be in an oversimplification era.. everything in short quick bites. everything on a tiny phone screen. etc.#marketing 'Introducing The Most Complicated Data Heavy Social Connection Site In The World' would not sell well I'd imagine gjhgjh#AANYWAY.. also no idea why the representation of me is in a turtle neck. what a bold fashion choice..#In another moment of self reflection.. the fact that in the first tag on this post I felt the need to define the word 'profile' just to be#specific as if people couldn't tell from context.. so clearly someone who finds filling out forms a 'fun afternoon activity' lol#the type of guy who finds psych evaluations and pop quizzes and making chore lists mostly enjoyable (< true)
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All those how to be successful in work and school courses are all the same and none of them are actually that helpful imho
#like they are so obviously written by neurotypical people who have never struggle with work before#at least not in the ways I have#like the growth vs fixed mindset and self confidence stuff can be helpful (if overly simple and kind of cheesy)#but then it's like here's a bunch of stuff about time management and flexibility and all the other skills that I've always sucked at#with only the very basic ideas about how to improve on them that have never actually worked for me#it basically reads like of you try hard enough you will magically become neurotypical and be able to organize stuff#and I am 99% sure they didn't mean for it to come off like that#but they didn't really consider neurodivergent people at all when making this so it doesn't actually address our needs and issues#real talk though has a course like this ever actually helped anyone before?#like I feel like even neurotypicals would get annoyed by this stuff#(side note they listed making eye contact as a way to appear self confident and it made me want to scream
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if any of you ever notice me liking, un-liking, and re-liking your posts, (sometimes multiple times a day. sometimes multiple days apart.) please (try to) ignore me. i am sorry. i am insane. thank you. have a good day
#i like actually have issues#i need to ''line up'' and semi-organize my likes (which act as my bookmarks)#and like. it drives me insane when things arent how i Need them to be.#like for example three fics of the same character need to be one after the other and stuff#it goes kinda deeper and more insane but just to give you a general idea#so catch me constantly liking and unliking and reliking things a billion times#also do it to like put some things back at the top of my likes because so much gets buried so quickly and i just need to remember its there#both with things i that havent read yet and with things that i want to reread#i feel like so insane and annoying about it all the time🧎but like its just something that i Need to do...#like it actually kind of upsets me#if i dont. but also when i do.#it also honestly makes me scared/nervous that people will get really annoyed and or weirded out by it if they see/notice it happen:/#i definitely have further mental issues#anyways#basically just im sorry and please ignore me#talkin shit#maybe i should talk to someone about this. or go down the research rabbit hole. aaaaaaaanyways.#goodnight!#it is 8am and i dont know how im still awake!#this was a certified talkin shit post#absolute wall of tags jesus#sorry :p#if you read all of this. i am sorry and i love you (big deal for me)#(another issue of mine)#🧍#hashtag unnecessary off putting weirdo rant😝#my specialty#okay bye#just had to edit this post a billion times.#woah tag limit reached. its a sign for me to shut the fuck up. note taken. thanks tumblr.
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Day 1 // 100 days of code
I told you I don't take aesthetic pictures... I didn't actually code today (but I finally finished all this week's submissions for chem today...) but I did read the description for cs50x readability. And I can't store all the info in my sleepy brain so I wrote things down. I still have more questions but Google needs to answer them. Preferably tomorrow. Got another covid shot today so I'm REALLY hoping I won't feel absolutely terrible tomorrow and for the next couple of days like every other covid shot before... But it's good knowing that my immune system will be smarter for it 😷👍 K goodnight
#100 days of code#does it count even if i didn't actually code 😬#idk but it's still within the rules i set for myself...#i hope this was useful tho...#i feel like my brain is more organized (usually even if i got enough sleep i get overwhelmed by all the info and jump around from 1 aspect#it's so confusing)#and usually for math problems and stuff it helps if my brain is organized#so...i guess this isn't that different???#idk i have no idea what I'm doing 😵💫#codeblr#progblr#studyblr#complete noob#also i was hoping i wouldn't have to make separate functions for counting sentences words and letters#but ofc i do#okay it's okay - you can do this#it's sm more efficient and easy in python thoooo 😖😣#i can't wait for the python part#studyspo#tho idk how inspiring this is 😝🥲#self-study#cs50#women in stem#stemblr#coding#programming#learn to code#computer science#girls who code#100doc
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omg also im soo mad i e been listening to rhis worldbuilding podcast at work and it was giving me lots of ideas but i had to turn it off bc i took like..an hour on a room bc i was so focused on jt and my beautiful world.. and i forgot all the ideas i had 😭😭 all i can remember is my fairy thing and that isnt even a from today thoufht
#bc bssicallyyy the way magic works is every living thing produces Some magic. like its legit produced by an organ in all lviing things. and#how Much you produce is like. it can be influenced by a lot of factors genetics etc but everybody produces some. so thats all well and good#and the fairies technically dont produce lke. more magic rhan humans yk. kts actually Very similar levels BUT bc theyre so small that amt#of magic is proportionally a LOT. thats why fairies glow is bc they have so much magic (magic glows and in humans who#have a lot of magic they also tend to glow around their chest :] omg and alsooo some of the ways magic can be channeled is likee. through#your hands or your voice theres rly so many basically. and its very versatile but its likee#so im stoll working on the rules for it but basically the idea of it is like. it can be used as a form of energy and also as temporary#form of matter if that makes sense ?? idk how to explain kt)#But anyways so the fairies theg r soo little but have sooo much magic proportionally. so fhey can '#fly' with it (not rly flying rly its more like making little platforms to walk on in the air... this parts jnspired by kekkaishi cant even#lie to you i thjnk its awesome when they do that.) so ya#and technically a human could do the sane thing but the platform would be bigger and bearing more weight so it wouldnt rly be as like.#practical.. bc 1 human sized platform would be like..1000 fairy skzed platforms LOL. yk. but yeah so yeah#n then on occasion fairies are born with very low amts of magic (this happens with all creatures everybody Has magic but some ppl have so#little that rhey cant do much with jt) n these 'fairies' +#(theyre usually called something else but they r fairies. ive been calling them borrowers in my head but thats copyrighted skull) usually#cant live in fairy cities bc. well. fairy cities r very oriented around being able.to use magic to navigate them. so in antiquity the#borrower fairies would form sort of like. Underlayer cities where youd have the main fairy city up in the trees and then on the ground#would be the borrower city. but that started getting dangerous especially when tthe bigger ppl started expanding their territories and#stuff. so borrower fairies ended up forming Way more secretive communities either underground or like. oftentimes there will be entire#borrower communities in a house yk. and u see where my jnspo is comjng from yes i love the borrowers yes i watched arrietty a few weeks ago#but yeah :] the borrowers are wayyy more secretive bc they cant defend themselves against the big folk the way the magical fairies can yk.#so fairies are Known (though not often encountered bc of how defensive they are of their cities)#to humans but borrowers are WAYYY less frequently seen bc they go out.of their way not to.#theres ALSO. so. as mentioned magic is produced by an organ. normally if anything happens to that organ youre like. dead. yk. you cant rly#live without it. However fairies have figured out a way to majorly decrease your magic levels while keepjng you alive#like 50 percent kf the tjme it works the rest they just die. its a surgicql procedure basically and its Intensely guarded#as in 1-2 ppl know how to do it at any given time and if anybody else fjnds out theyre killed immediately. the only ppl who know it Exists#r like. theee highest ranking fairies in existence. its used as a punishment for the most 'heinous' crimes. aka the ones the fairy monarch#dislikes the most -_-. its not a Technical exile but like. yes it is..yk. since as i said you rly cant navigate a fairy city if you dont.
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“I ate paint once,” Danny nonchalantly threw out in the middle of game night.
The entire table stopped. Heads whipped towards Danny.
“Yeah, me too. Cardamom yellow was my favorite. Ugly as hell but the chemicals just tasted right.” Tim replied, using the distraction to nab some of Bruce’s money. Monopoly money, that is. Everyone’s heads snapped towards Tim, only Cass and Danny (who was part of the scheme) caught him cheating.
“Really? I think mine was those spray can blue cosmos paint. But that might have been more my thing for space than the actual taste.”
“WHY WERE YOU EATING PAINT?!” Dick asked, looking like he wanted to lunge over the table and shake Danny until he puked out paint. Bruce looked like he was about to have a heart attack.
“Yeah, what the fuck, Tim?” Jason snickered.
“In my defense,” Danny grinned. “I was left unsupervised. Also, Steph, you owe me $24 in rent.”
“Ugh! I’m almost out of money! Can’t you loan me some, Alfred?”
“I am sorry, Miss Stephanie, you are not qualified for another loan. In fact, one of your properties is about to be confiscated as per the collateral agreement.”
“Noooo!” Stephanie made dramatic dying noises.
“What was your excuse, Timothy?” Damian asked, eyes glued to the board and determined to win the game.
“Hey, I was probably less supervised than Danny was.”
“Yeah,” Danny perked up. “My parents brought us down to their lab all of the time. Taught us a lot of stuff.”
“Really? Like what?” Duke asked, casually slapping away Tim’s sneaky hands.
“Oh, like what a rocket launcher sounded like up close! And how to build a laser gun! Oh! And what human organs looked like when they’re fresh!” Danny chirped, collecting his money from a stunned Stephanie’s hands. He looked up.
“Oh, don’t worry! I at least learned what not to do when it comes to lab safety. And we wore hazmat suits to protect ourselves from the radiation.” Danny smiled in a ditzy fashion as the table fell silent in a horrified manner. Cass tapped his arm amusedly, but allowed his bullshit to stand. After all, it’s not like he lied.
“Radiation?” Duck’s voice raised a couple of octaves. Oh yeah, Danny’s going to laugh about that pitch for a long while.
“Organs?!” Jason’s hands closed around the plastic house he was holding rather forcefully.
“Do you even know what basic lab safety practices are, Danny?” Damian demanded, finally looking up with brows furrowed. He rolled the dice and grabbed a mystery card. He gets $100 from Alfred.
“How old were you??” Duke asked.
“Like… 8, when they first brought me in?”
“Eight.” Bruce rumbled, slipping into a more Batman like persona. When Danny sent him a confused look, Bruce straightened back into his Bruce persona. “Wow, they must have trusted you a lot!”
“Sure?”
“What were their names again?” Stephanie asked sweetly, Cass nodding at him.
“Jack and Maddie Fenton.” Not that they’ll find them here, considering his parents are dead and in another universe.
“Cool, cool, cool!” Stephanie blinked, beaming as her hands formed lethal fists underneath the table.
Danny blinked and tilted his head in an unassuming way, pretending like he had no idea what Stephanie was thinking of. He sneakily handed over $600 to Cass in order to complete his monopoly on his side of the board.
Danny stood up and spread his hands out, one hand clutching his new found victory.
"Well, lady and gents, you've all been floundering against the inevitable tide of capitalism. I am here, as a reminder that you can never win against the hopelessness that will be your financial ruin! I, Danny Fenton, have obtained a quarter of the board and therefore have won against even your best efforts!" He cackled, holding up his fan of properties triumphantly. He shot a mischievous grin at Cass, who held up a solemn thumbs up in support for his monetary takeover.
"... Danny, are you... planning on a career in villainy?" Bruce asked, after a brief and total wave of shocked silence. Damian looked like he was having a conniption at having been bested, unknowingly. Yeah, Danny was disarming like that.
"Yeah, that was concerning." Tim piped up, nabbing a ten from a shell-shocked Damian.
"Hey! The Riddler gives surprisingly good monologues! And he's really loud, so it's hard not to pick up on things. Duke, your turn." Danny sat back down, pouting. The villainy comment was a little too close to his fears.
"Damn it." Duke, who had rolled, landed smack middle of Danny's territory. He handed over a sheaf of bills to a grinning Danny.
"Wait a minute! You have cheated!" Damian bolted upwards from his seat, finally done running through the purchases he remembered Danny making. "You acquired that property not within the games' rules!"
"Okay, first of all, the rule book is a suggestion, like lab safety rules," Danny saw the others open their mouths to protest, but he quickly shut it down. "Second, there's totally no rules about selling and buying places from a private owner so suck on it. And thirdly? Cass sold it to me, so you all can take it up with her."
"Diabolical!" Damian muttered indignantly.
"... Dammit." Dick sighed, falling back into the chair and balancing on its two legs. He couldn't say anything, considering his current of bankruptcy.
"Danny. Danny, I'll buy a property from you." Jason said, eyeing one of Danny's other properties near his own cluster.
"What do you have that would interest me?" Danny asked, falling back into his Vlad-like imitation.
"Ew, don't do that," Steph reached over to jab him in the arm.
"Yeah, Jason, what do you have?" Duke said, the lovely subtle instigator that he is.
"Red Hood's signature."
The others blue-screen, gaping at the actual audacity Jason had to offer up something that would take him no effort. Danny, prepared with a poker face that came with lying straight to Jazz's ever perceptive eyes about whether he nabbed the last of her ice cream or not, was prepared.
"Red Hood? The condom guy working out of the... um. Upper East Side?" Danny asked, pretending to hesitate. He knows where Jason operated. That doesn't mean he couldn't simply pretend otherwise. For science, of course.
...
...
...
The table howled with laughter, Jason's indignant spluttering unable to say anything against Danny's wide eyed look of innocence. Cass leaned against the table, chuckles falling out of her mouth and eyes crinkled in mirth. Dick had fallen out of his chair, helplessly wheezing on the floor. Duke is hiding his face in his hands, mirroring Bruce's pose as they both shake from silent laughter. Damian is smirking, wicked and sharp as he smugly stared at Jason. Stephanie and Tim are leaning against each other, repeating "the CONDOM GUY" in alternating and increasingly louder voices. Alfred had a smile on his face and a tight grip on the bills in front of him that betrayed his amusement.
"He's a crime lord!" Jason exclaimed, indignant.
"Uh, okay. Well, I mean, why would I want a crime lord's signature? I don't want to be on his radar. Or echolocation or whatever. He's... a Bat, right? That's what you guys call that group, yeah?"
"How do you know the Rogues better than the vigilantes?!" Jason glared at his unhelpful family. Those assholes better prepare for a load of rubber bullets the next time they're on patrol near Crime Alley.
"Hey, it's not my fault the vigilantes here are unsociable. Maybe if they monologued more, I'd know who they are."
"Wouldn't- wouldn't that make them more villain like?" Tim asked, stuttering from his laughter.
"I dunno?" Danny replied, enjoying his the family's unabashed joy. "I mean, they're pretty legit and they help people already so I guess they don't need to be sociable... but still I swear I haven't heard anything about Batman other than that he grunts and is mean towards criminals."
Is mean towards criminals, Duke mouthed at a recovering Dick who was in the process of heaving himself back up. It sent him careening back down to the floor with restrained giggles. Cass tapped Danny, reminding him to eat some food.
"Tt. Of course not. They're efficient at their jobs and have no need to be seen as welcoming to criminals." Damian puffed up.
"Yeah, but they've gotta feel safe, right?" Danny shrugged as he plucked a cookie from the cookie platter. "The... one with the sword, what was it?"
"Robin." Damian supplied, eyes narrowed and trained on him.
"Yeah, the baby bird. The kids think his swords are cool so they trust him. But like, the others? The flippy blue one? Not so much."
"Wait," Dick said from the floor. "They don't trust Nightwing?"
"Nah, they trust him to protect them, but he has a history of bringing the kids to the police, you know?"
"What's wrong with that?"
Danny shrugged. "ACAB. But also because everybody knows that half the guys in the GCPD and CPS are child traffickers."
"Wait, what?" Jason and Tim straightened.
Bruce piped in, the emotional whiplash of amusement to concern to amusement to concern visibly making itself known on the man's baffled face. "I thought Batman and Commissioner Gordon took care of that?"
"Sure, the obvious ones." Danny hesitated. Well, he's pretty sure they think he's a meta so... "There's... a meta trafficking ring that they're a part of. That's. That's kind of what I was running from."
Danny looked up pleadingly. Cass placed a hand on his arm in comfort, not knowing that he was fibbing about running from them.
Danny was on the streets helping his own Alley metas to run from them.
Danny is as feral as she was, and that meant he could hide just as much as she could read off of him. Cass was the best and he felt kind of bad about lying to her, successfully or not.
"Uh. Some people said you know Batman, Bruce. I know- uh, that might not be the case but if you do, could you ask him to look into it?" Danny made his eyes tear up. "And maybe he wouldn't care about me much, I mean, I know he doesn't really like metas but if he helps out, I could totally like, leave the city once the kids are safe, promise."
Ooh, Danny put a little too much sincerity into that. He could practically hear the hearts breaking in the game room as everyone glared at Bruce.
"You won't have to leave."
"... Promise?" And Danny's voice was a little too desperate, too hopeful, because Bruce's eyes tugged down in sadness.
"Promise." He rumbled, all Bruce Wayne and all Batman. Danny's core warmed. Danny also saw the rest of the family's faces darken in pure agreement. And partial wrath.
"Yeah! We'll kick Batman's ass if he even thought about kicking you out!" Stephanie proclaimed.
"He's far more proficient in combat than you are, Brown." Damian immediately leapt to Batman's defense and that was that.
Well, later, as Danny was "sleeping" and Phantom was hovering in the cave, invisible and intangible, he got confirmation that his Alley meta kids were going to be safe, soon.
After all, the entire Batclan was suiting up and baying for blood, with Oracle's all encompassing presence behind them, fingers reaching for their enemies' weak points.
#batman#danny phantom#dc x dp#jason todd#bruce wayne#tim drake#dick grayson#red hood#nightwing#red robin#duke thomas#the signal#damian wayne#robin#stephanie brown#the spoiler#cassandra cain#black bat#oracle#barbara gordon#bamf danny phantom#danny phantom playing victim but he's an unreliable narrator#and was totally marked for trafficking before brucie wayne picked him up#danny trauma dumping on family game night#lab safety? danny doesn't know her#danny experiencing familial affection: who me??#danny winning monopoly like a capitalist villain that Sam unknowingly told him how to be via her rants#danny ate paint as an experiment#I'd like it to go on record that've I have never eaten paint
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ok but i need the evrart claire essay
Okay just be warned that this is gonna be less of an "essay" and more of a loose collection of thoughts, and I don't know how fresh or novel any of these ideas are going to be when it pertains to popular Disco Elysium fan discourse because I don't really do fandom, you know?
Anyway, I think the most obvious factet of Evrart's character is how he very intentionally calls to mind a caricature of corrupt union leaders, the image of a sleazy mobster who only cares about his own personal gain but pays lip service to leftist politics and pretends to care about the interests of workers as a way to obtain and maintain his power. And I think a lot of people straightforwardly read him as such, because that's the way he carries himself and the type of character the game is riffing on. There's also the question of how much of Evrart's manipulative, duplicitous attitude is just how he normally acts and how much of it is him specifically acting that way towards Harry and Kim specifically, it's important to have in mind that your main character is a cop and that would definitely play a role in making Evrart go out of his way to be a bit more of a bastard and toy with you a bit before he decides to actually do anything helpful.
However, once you dig a little deeper into his characterization, it becomes clear that he's pulling a very interesting double bluff, because it becomes apparent that the shady mobster who only cares about his personal gain is an act he's putting on. He's very self-aware about the fact that he's playing the villain, he seems to actively revel in it, but ultimately, it seems like he does it because playing the villain is the way he gets shit done.
This is not to say he's not actually corrupt, or that he's not ALSO involved in all sorts of shady stuff and taking advantage of his position of power, but the game does make it apparent that on some level he DOES have the interests of the people of Martinaise at heart.
For example, it is textually stated that the harbor doesn't need a night watchman, and Evrart created the position specifically to provide a source of income for René. He knows the pension Rene gets is not enough for him to live on, but he's also aware that René is the sort of right-wing guy who would rather starve to death than take a handout (especially from those dirty union commies), so Evrart created a job position which pretty much involves doing nothing for a few hours every night so he could help him with his economic troubles in a way he wouldn't refuse out of principle. René hates his guts, ideologically stands against everything his organization represents, and is generally an unlikeable asshole and a fascist prick, but he's also a disadvantaged member of the community and that seems to matter more.
Even when he asks you to get the signatures to build the community center, which is definitely one of the most morally questionable things he does during the events of the game (as it will improve the community, but at the same time displace the people from the fishing village), his intentions seem to be ultimately good. Due to the very nature of his character and the act he puts on, it's purposefully hard to tell when he's being sincere and when he's being manipulative. However, if Harry's drama and empathy skills are high enough when he's confronted about it, you'll be able to tell that he's not lying about his motives for wanting to build a community center or about the fact that he intends to provide better housing for the people displaced by the project, and that he feels genuine rage about their current living conditions. It can still be said that he's ignoring their self-determination and essentially forcing these people out of their current homes, but he does seem to have good intentions and think he's doing a good thing for them in the long run, even if his methods are morally questionable at best.
In that way, the Union is an extension of him in this regard too. They're pretty unapologetic about the fact that they're openly operating as a crime syndicate, but the game doesn't give you any reasons to believe they're lying when they say they're doing it as a way to muslce out all the more dangerous gangs and crime organizations out of Martinaise, or that their involvement in the drug trade is at least partially motivated by a desire to make sure it's not controlled by more dangerous and violent crime organizations. Again, they're playing the villain as a way to fill that power vacuum and make sure more dangerous people don't fill that role (but of course, that doesn't erase the fact that, noble as their intentions may be, they're still involved in all these shady activities and turning a pretty substantial profit from them too)
Of course, on the other hand, just because the game seems to hint at the fact that Evrart and the Union are, deep down, a force for good, doesn't erase the fact that he's done plenty of bad shit to further his interests, and the game doesn't shy away from this. He's still extremely corrupt, his long-term plan to wrestle control of the harbor away from the company and turn it into a worker-owned operation (which *would* massively improve the material conditions of the dockworkers if succesful) involves endangering the lives of a lot of his own workers, he and his brother Edgar pass the position of union foreman back and forth between each other to circumvent the term limit and keep themselves in power indefinitely, and if you explore all dialogue options with the Deserter it's all but explicitly stated that they rose to power by getting him to assassinate the previous Union forewoman.
These are things that Evrart himself would probably rationalize as sacrifices that need to be made for the greater good. After all, it is implied that the previous union forewoman was also corrupt, except in favor of the company's interests, and might have even been a company plant. However, this doesn't make those things morally right. Good intentions nonwithstanding, it's clear that the Claire brothers are very "the ends justify the means" kind of people, they probably see getting the previous Union leader killed or endangering the lives of the dockworkers to overthrow the company that exploits them as "pulling the lever" in the trolley problem, which is extremely callous at best.
Here's where we get a little more into "disjointed thoughts" territory, but Evrart can also be seen as a critique of the limits of trade unionism and social democrat politics. Something that I completely missed in my first playthrough but was able to catch on during my second is that the people of the fishing village refuse to unionize, and as a result they don't get the same level of support and protection that the union provides to the people of the more urban section of Martinaise. This is apparently widely known enough for characters other than Evrart to comment on (I forget what character I learned this from, but it was definitely not Evrart). So it's clear that Evrart and the Union put their interests of the members of their own organization over those of other working class people, which is one criticism that can be leveraged against the way a lot of leftists seem to treat unions as the ultimate tool for worker class liberation.
Similarly, when Evrart tells you his long-term plans, it's clear that his ultimate goals don't involve complete worker liberation. As far as the game shows, he's a socdem who's still looking to work within the confines of capitalism. There are more radically left wing characters in Disco Elysium, but Evrart is the only one with any actual power to affect change, which kinda speaks to the lack of presence of more hardline leftist positions in mainstream politics. As someone living in Latin America, I kinda ended up seeing a bit of a lot of our currrent socdem politicians in him in that respect, I guess, but i'd need more time to articulate this thought properly, I guess.
Ultimately, I think Evrart is an amazingly crafted character. He evokes a well-known archetype of a shady, corrupt, power-hungry union leader, but he adds a lot of depth, self-awareness, and nuance to it and subverts that characterization in several ways. I think he atually serves an important role of ideologically challenging players who share the developers' and writers' political leanings. I think it would have been very self-congratulatory and autocomplacent to make the most influential leftist character in the game an unambiguously good paragon of workers' rights and working class liberation. By instead giving us someone who's an absolute callous bastard who definitely has a bit of blood on his hands, who's a socdem at best and a self-serving mob boss at worst, but can ultimately be interpreted as a force for good, and asking the players to decide what they think of him I think it brings interesting questions to the table of our commitment to material gains, what sorts of people we're willing to work with, and the sort of acts we're willing to tolerate, and makes the game a lot more thematically rich.
I also think a good analysis of Evrart is incomplete without an analysis of the ways in which he serves a a charater foil for Joyce, but I don't feel like getting into that rn.
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wakeup new oc idea has dropped,,,,
When Felix got thrown out of artschool for his skibidi performance and was a little depressed, Parragon approached him saying he likes his art and that he does similar weird stuff with paper and that they should start an artclub together for weirdos! So they did and the anomalous artclub grew!!
Parragon was the person who was in charge of majority of things and organized everything, people like him very much and he likes people. and felix is just doing his thing, they have a bit of a symbiosis, and an artstyle merge... Parragon is actually the person who taugh Felix how to enter prints : ]
i will be your canvas and give you a space to grow and you will make my life a little bit more weird and colorful
however something happened that caused Parragon to show up less and in the end dissappear completely locking himself up in his studio, basically going awol
Felix and the rest of the artclub got left on ice and that really hurt him and because he is still very sentimental about the club and theoretically IS vice president so he tries to be the boss but he has no idea how to do it and everybody wishes for Parragon to come back
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caitlyn kiramman x reader hc's ! ✩ (MEN DNI.)
this girl so always organized, always striving for perfection. no matter what it is. her work, her clothes, house, even you. fixing your necklace or brushing that piece of hair out of your face.
she doesn't take hot showers anymore after what happened with Jinx because she's scared of someone appearing out of the steam again. but if you insist on taking a hot shower with her maybe she'll consider it.
caitlyn loves cuddling with you. especially after her shift as an enforcer, when she's all tired.
this woman hardly drinks, but she always keeps her mother's favorite champagne in her pantry (even if she doesn't particularly like it).
if she does get drunk, it's almost always off wine. she gets really affectionate, clinging to you and slurring drunkingly about how much she loves you and leaving marks all over your face and neck with her lipstick.
after she lost her eye, she couldn't sharpshoot for a while after. due to her depth perception getting messed up. she also struggled to track moving objects and judge distances properly. so before she fully adjusted to the lack of vision and the after effects she was grabbing things that were actually farther away then she thought. you teased her about it, and even if she rolled her eye with a huff she found it endearing.
jealous, possessive, fucking everything. even if she even sees someone looking at you the wrong way, or dare flirt with you, she's sure to wrap an arm around your waist and pull you away.
she's always touching you in public. holding your hand or arm, a hand on your knee under the dining table. you're her girl, and nobody can take that was from her.
whenever she leaves hickeys on you, caitlyn always admires them. if you want to hide them, of course she'll let you, but she'd rather you show them off.
she calls you hers. not in a 'this is my property' way, but 'we're meant to be together' way.
always spoiling you. you mentioned a book you wanted? it'll be here in a week. new movie or a concert you want to see? she just got you front row tickets. she loves hearing about your hobbies and will always get you stuff relating to them.
black cat energy, but she owns two dobermans that she used to go hunting with, but usually just takes them on walks and hangs out with them now .
early bird. she sleeps late due to cases she has, but you'll never catch her not getting up at six am sharp to get ready for the day. but if you beg her to stay for a bit longer and it's cold... well, everyone comes a little late to work once in a while, right?
total sap. always going on dates with you or giving you silly pickup lines and flirting with you.
a/n : i don't have any good fic ideas man ,,,,,, send requests please !!!! also the dog thing is canon :)
#caitlyn kiramman x reader#arcane x reader#arcane x you#caitlyn arcane#caitlyn x reader#caitlyn#kiramman#fanfic#blurb#babies first writing#caitlyn kiramman#wlw#lesbian#sapphic#wuh luh wuh#wuhluhwuh#girlkisser#KIRAMMAN#CAITLYN??
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Other Misc. Rambling Thoughts on the topic:
(~ !!!!!!!!! if you're just reblogging this post for the Poll section, please reblog the original post without this addition* lol. ~)
(*not that there's anything super personal or weird about the addition, just that it's meant to be kind of casual Side Commentary, not really part of the Main Point Of The Poll, so it would feel kind of weird for it to be emphasized by being included in reblogs unless the reblogs were explicitly about the side commentary, etc..... if that makes sense.. ANYWAY!)
It's neat to read the written descriptions that people are mentioning in the tags, since it's almost like I can see or conceptualize the idea as well, but it's just.. I'm not SEEING it.
Like for example: I can imagine a vase, it's a muted mint green and slightly translucent, elaborate golden birds sprawled down the side in streaks of thin rough watery paint, the base material shimmers gently in the light, there's a small chip where it's cracked on the handle, etc, etc. .. But as I'm thinking about this I see literally nothing.
It seems like perhaps some people can visualize an object first, and THEN describe what they see. But I sort of work backwards. I am building the object in my mind, I can never see it, but it's a collection of concepts. Rather than visualizing all details as a whole at once, I am adding each detail one by one, building onto the IDEA of the thing.
The vase doesn't have a crack on the handle because I just automatically visualized a vase with a crack. It was more that I cognitively understand the concept of a vase, what they tend to be made out of, how they tend to look and feel, the properties they have. So based purely on that knowledge, I can imagine "a chip is something that a vase could have, it would look this way and behave this way" - more like... I'm constructing a bullet point Fact List about the object rather than seeing it.
So if you tell me to imagine an object, I can, in a way, imagine that object in great detail, but it's just.. I'm not SEEING those details, more just knowing it's qualities in a purely conceptual way. Sometimes in the tags when people are like "yeah I can see the skin of the apple, texture, little dots on the surface" it's like… I can imagine that too, I can know it's there, but just with no visual attached.
I guess rather than SEEING something and going ''ah. I know what this looks like because I have seen it''. I more just skip that visual step entirely and go ''I know what this looks like, I just randomly have a list of information about the concept in my mind.'' etc. Maybe similar to how sometimes in dreams, even though a house may look completely different and be in an entirely fake 'dreamlike' environment, you just somehow KNOW intuitively that it's meant to be your childhood home or something. Even when it looks nothing like it in reality. There's a built-in base knowledge of the properties or information of some things within a dreaming mind, etc.
--
This also makes me wonder about like.. how storytelling and myth is so important to cultures all across time. Or how this could tie also into concepts of religion.. etc. etc. If so many people really can kind of conjure these vivid images in their mind, then maybe that's part of why certain things are so meaningful to them? Like a "religious experience" being something you can actually really SEE/feel/lingering with you in your head, rather than just abstract words on a page, detached purely theoretical ideas, etc... hmmm
.
Plus also just for average emotional stuff too, even outside of broader cultural conceptual attachments..
Like, I don't think there's a direct 1 to 1 link (obviously not all people with mental illnesses that significantly reduce their emotional or expressive capacity also MUST have aphantasia or vice versa), but it's interesting as someone who DOES also have a much more lessened emotional range/pretty flat affect/etc. etc. to think like.. Maybe I WOULD be more emotional, in a way, if I could have these vivid experiences..?
Perhaps memories would hold deeper significance if they could really stay with me vividly. Or storytelling would evoke more of a deep emotional reaction to me if I could really picture and feel the things that are going on. If things were more TANGIBLE in my brain, rather than always merely conceptual highly abstracted ideas.
Kind of like, it's probably easier to get over the death of a pet or something, if after not seeing them for an hour you already don't remember what they looked like (beyond just a vague fact list of traits), and you have no vivid memories or mental reminders of them (beyond just factual information stores). COGNTIVIELY you can appreciate the idea of their absence, of course, you still miss them, but there's just no remaining visceral sensory ties. A very "out of sight, out of mind" sort of thing in terms of attachments, memories, emotions, etc. Maybe certain things are easier to "get over", when you're not having constant mental sensory reminders that occasionally rekindle your feelings about the event or etc.??
(like for example, maybe someone could remain angry about an argument longer if they could vividly replay it in their head over and over again. VS just like.. 'Yes I can factually recall the fact I had an argument, and I do have knowledge stored about what precisely was said, but any sort of sensory data such as sights/smells/feelings, etc. from the actual moment of the event are long gone and can never be conjured again in my mind." etc.)
Which again, I think lessened emotional permanence and image permanence in the mind are NOT inherently linked, can all be caused by different things for different people. And, since I can't visualize anything in my head, maybe I'm misunderstanding how it happens and the effect it may have on stuff like remembering things you miss or replaying arguments, etc. etc. But it's still a little interesting to think about, if they could influence each other to some degree.... :0c --
Lastly, It's also weird because I'm actually pretty good at estimating distance and spaces? I can quickly assemble furniture without an instruction manual, pretty easily have a concept of how much space a chair may take up in a room, how two mechanical parts might fit together - BUT, I am literally not actually visualizing anything. I cannot see 3D objects in my mind at ALL. It's like.. just based on the pure List Of Facts About Things Which I Have Observed.. I can intuitively go "oh this works like this/this is this size" just because.. I know it's that size. I don't have to see anything to know..?
But then on the other hand, I'm terrible at directions without a map (I guess because a 3d outdoor environment has WAY more complexity than like.. "Will this square fit into another square?"etc. lol ).
BUT, I also draw/sculpt/etc. entirely without references, and seem to do mostly okay at that..? Like.. I can't even remember the last time I actually used a reference or looked at anything whilst drawing. It's all muscle memory, and me just adjusting as I go until something "looks right" on paper, I never have a set image in my head (or external reference) before hand.. Hrmm....
AND.. I used to say that I had a photographic memory when I was younger, which I know NOW is not true (I always thought it was just an expression, not that people could literally see things in a photographic way). But what I was describing is, I do often associate information with imagery, just... without imagery....
Like "Oh, I know that I took my medicine earlier today because I have a distinct memory, a snapshot of a moment in time, of me rattling the pill bottle in my hands as I looked up at a stop sign while in the back seat of a car". When I say this, I can't ACTUALLY see/feel/hear a pill bottle, or vividly picture a stop sign, but it's more just a factual recall, of. Even though I don't see these things, I know they happened, the information of them happening (me hearing a sound and also looking at a stop sign at the same time) has been stored in my brain as a memory, a collection of linked facts. --
As for other senses, I cannot taste or feel anything in my head AT ALL.. wild that some people mention that. I mean, again, I can have a purely factual recall as if reading a textbook, knowing the information of 'X item typically has X texture, therefore I can imagine what it may be like to feel it' or 'X usually has this taste' etc. - but I can never actually experience those senses in any capacity in my mind alone. I would say audio is my strongest mental sense (maybe a 2.5 or 3 (if it were translated onto the above scale where 1 is most vivid and 5 is nothing)), then visual (4.5 at most, usually 5), and then taste and smell and such are just complete 5, absolutely nothing, I didn't even know people could experience taste or feeling just in their mind alone.. lol...
I know this is just a silly bad quality random screencap of a screencap that I found on facebook lol, BUT it's a succinct enough image to easily describe the concept in a quick/accessible way hopefully :
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(and of course, feel free to elaborate in tags, etc.! (especially elaborating about other senses as well.. can you "hear" in your mind just as well as you can "see"? taste? etc.) It's an interesting topic to me, as someone who's like a 4.5 at MOST lol. I'm curious what option will be the most common :0c )
#repeat reblog#Hrmm.... this must be why you all like reading books so much lol… option 5.. so few of us…#Also I wonder if this is why I'm a more detail oriented writer. Like if I was making a story I would first have to plot out information#about the location. draw a map of the room the chararcters are in. sketch the characters. their outfits. do a lot of plotting and planning#about how the world and the setting works and what plants might be there and so on and so forth. Because I'm working#more from a factual knowledge base of like 'bullet point list of things I know about this setting/object/person/etc'#rather than actually just being able to see it in my mind. So to really conceptualize a person/place/thing - I have to build it#from the ground up conceptually. Gathering and organizing all the information about it until I have a Full Mental Concept of it - and THEN#I can work with it from there. But maybe someone who just Pictures all that in their brain from the beginning can kind of skip that step.#Like for example I literally have NO idea what any of my characters look like until I draw them. I have to actively decide what they look#like and think about all of those details and create the List Of Factual Information (black hair. green eyes. this tall. etc.) from scratch#. where the friend I talked to on the phone recently said that they literally just like... picture the character. like they just SEE them#doing stuff and know from there. And of course i have an IDEA of what I may want a characters appearnce to be or properties that would suit#them based on their Concept and Personality. but I literally do not know. And even when writing or thinking about characters doing things#I cannot visualize them no matter how hard I try. It's all theoretical factual recall for me. Also my friend said that to THEM the saying#''the characters write themselves'' was interpreted to mean.. they can literally sit down & watch the characters do things and it's as#if they are just creating a story in their mind from thin air. it writes itself. Where for ME I have always interpreted it to mean ''I have#undertaken the process of analyzing and plotting every detail of this character SO deeply that I know them SO well down to even#how they would walk or hold a pencil. and thus because I have such an intimate understanding of every intricacy of their personality. It's#extremely easy to just Put Them Into A Situation and assume exactly how they'd react/ exactly what they'd say because based#on what has factually been determined about them and their personality/worldview/etc. it's just.. literally automatic. The same way that#if you knew a friend's preferences extremely well you could probably easily predict how they'd respond to a birthday gift'' etc.#hmm.. ANYWAY... Which my friend may be an extreme example. I feel like it'd be obvious even for writers without aphantasia to STILL sit#down and plot out details & intimately understand their characters/setting/etc. But the idea that for ANYONE it's like ''yeah I dont have t#think much about designing the layout of a room/place/etc. I just kind of SEE it in my mind and know automatically''.... wild... lol#It makes it seem like I'm always having to do like 500 tons of extra work that other people can just skip .. oughh#''well after writing them for a YEAR and fully conceptualizing their personality and going through 15 sketch drafts. i have FINALLY#decided on an appearance for my character'' ... ''erm.. i have been seeing my character since day 1.. what do you mean?'' ... lol#ANYWAY.. and thank you to those who have sent in asks abt your experiences.. very inchresting.. sorry not posting/responding yet since im#still a bit sick feeling and energy is very scattered/low social ability/etc... even this post i typed over the course of days lol..
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On a more silly note, imagine the High Guard after the whole killing Sentinel thing happened/banishment and a few weeks later call a meeting with Optimus and they go “hey so I know we’re at odds at the moment but are we ever going to get payed for the last 50 cycles?” cause I mean technically I don’t think they were ever officially fired so much as declared dead to the general public and secretly being hunted down during that time. Do they go up to Optimus and are just like “so I get that we don’t really work here anymore but like can we still get our severance pay and our backlog of paychecks?” Cause I’m pretty sure since they were military the government was paying them before the whole Sentinel betrayal thing and any funds any of them had has probably been seized by the state (aka Sentinel during that time) or frozen sitting somewhere in account of being presumed dead. Does Megatron not want to have this meeting but the entire High Guard are grumpy about it like "no I want to get payed! I want my stuff/money back!" so now he has to sit across from Optimus in the most awkward meeting after their fall out as Starscream shouts across the table negotiating if they still qualify/are entitled for the Cybertronian equivalent of military/veteran pension for their previous cycles of service.
Cybertronian Civil War on hold due to the nightmare of bureaucracy and paperwork because tracking down at minimum 73 different case files of each High Guard member and getting them all in order when probably half of the information was purposely destroyed by Sentinel means it will probably take a while. How many times has Shockwave and the rest of the High Guard have to sign documents to declare "yes I am alive" "no I did not fake my death to commit tax fraud". Or dealing with banks and other organizations going "please provide proof that you are indeed Starscream." Starscream going "I'm literally Starscream and standing in front of you what other proof is more clear! You are literally looking at a photo of me on the datapad!" "Apologies, but unless you have x, y, z document I am afraid we cannot simply take your word that you are Starscream. If you are missing these documents please fill out these thirty forms as alternative verification of identity". Also imagining Thundercracker going "hey do you think my buy five get one free drink stamp card still works. I've been sitting on that free drink for 50 cycles…"
Funniest thing if Shockwave was a senator before joining the High Guard and there was a small period of time where he actually was declared dead before it got cleared up back in the day when the Primes were still alive, but now they can't find the paperwork that cleared up that it was an error and he was still in fact alive so now he's been declared doubly dead.
Shockwave: It's document 37C!
Elita: Repeating it for the fifth time will not change the fact that it does not exist!
Shockwave, done with being declared dead: It exists! It's added every time my taxes get filed each cycle! Did I suddenly imagine the last thousands of cycles of my life!
Elita, losing her own temper: There is no document 37C! Listen here Blinky, I can easily resolve this matter by getting you declared dead for a third time for real!
Optimus stressed and trying not to cry: Maybe we should call for a break in the meeting...
When the break is over no one can find Optimus who has decided to play hooky from his responsibilities because he'd tired and feels like he's going to lose it dealing with all the sudden responsibilities of being leader of an entire planet. I like the idea that it's Megatron who finds him. Megatron going "if I have to suffer through these meetings so do you" (he was secretly also ditching the meeting and accidentally bumped into Optimus because the place is technically their old spot that they sometimes went together, both thought it would be abandoned and no one would find them there). It's awkward, there are hurt feelings on both sides, but maybe they slowly get to talking and at least commiserate how much they hate paperwork. Also funny if they find out they both also have to resolve their own "declared dead by Sentinel" paperwork considering he said they both died after the Iacon 5000 lol.
Also I think it would be funny if these meetings drag on for so long that Optimus is just like instead of commuting back and forth from the surface to Iacon every day just stay here in the city it will save time. Banishment temporarily rescinded. Even more funny if they also have to deal with the Quintessons so half of these meeting turn into war meetings to deal with and fight the Quintessons off their planet where both sides are like "we're not on the same side!", but also eventually have to work together to win. So it's basically an officially we're not on the same side, but all actions say otherwise lol. I like to think Bee likes to hangout with Soundwave during meetings and finds him so cool, and Soundwave actually likes listening to Bee yap finding him endearing.
They eventually realize that it would be easier (and less paperwork) to just reinstate the High Guard and at this point so much time has passed that they've basically been doing their old job anyway as they fight the Quintessons together. Banishment permanently rescinded for all parties involved. I like to think megop over the course of these meetings and fighting together against the Quintessons make up. Things can't go back to the exact way it was between them, but that doesn't mean they can't rebuild something new between them. I like to think both groups have differing ideas of how to lead and how to deal with situations, but I like to think eventually they get to a point where they can compromise and work with differing ideas depending on what's best for the situation at hand similar to the 13 Primes who probably had conflicting and contrasting personalities and approaches but were able to use these differences to work together and make them stronger as a united front.
Cybertronian Civil War avoided through the sheer slog of paperwork and bureaucracy.
#transformers#transformers one#tf one#starscream#tf one starscream#tf one spoilers#transformers one spoilers#tf one high guard#tf one shockwave#tf one elita#elita one#tf one megatron#tf one optimus#headcanon#megop#implied megop#no cybertronian civil war because of paperwork au#crack treated seriously#megatron#optimus prime#shockwave#tf one b 127#tf one soundwave
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thinking about how I've seen OCD get talked about now, but haven't really seen many posts that actually explain what it is. And like, obviously people shouldn't get all their info about mental conditions from posts, but u can't deny that internet communities and stuff play a major role in people recognizing and putting names to their own experiences.
But like since the general public has like absolutely no idea of what OCD actually is (no thanks to popular media), and a lot of things I see talking about intrusive thoughts don't mention OCD (either bc they originated in OCD circles or bc intrusive thoughts aren't Exclusive to OCD or for some other reason), there should prob be more explanation put out on what OCD actually consists of.
Which is kinda hard in some ways, bc there are so many ways OCD can present in terms of what "themes" a person experiences, so someone talking about what their themes are might not ring a bell with someone who experiences different ones. But like, the core thing with OCD isn't the presence of certain themes, it's a specific pattern of spiraling thoughts and reactions.
Like. OCD is a mental condition/illness where people experience stressful, unwanted, repetitive thoughts. These are intrusive thoughts are what make up the "obsessions" part of the disorder. In response to these intrusive thoughts, a lot of people will perform certain actions or think certain things in an attempt to neutralize or disprove the threat they represent. These are the "compulsions" part of the condition.
For a more "traditional" example, someone experiencing intrusive thoughts that they might catch a communicable disease may obsessively wash their hands or google their symptoms to try to lessen the anxiety. While someone who is worried they might hurt someone (even though they very much do not want to hurt someone) may avoid being near sharp objects or may avoid the people they're afraid of hurting.
One of the issues with OCD is that performing the compulsions provides short term relief, but in the long term it only strengthens the stress caused by the intrusive thoughts, thus furthering the thought spiral and actively making it worse, to the point where, depending on your themes, you may be (almost) convinced that your intrusive thoughts represent the truth or the inevitable or something permanent.
Intrusive thought themes cam be literally anything, but some of the common ones are stuff like
Questioning your sexuality, gender, etc (what if I'm actually straight/gay/bi/trans/cis/etc?)
Being worried about losing control and hurting yourself or others physically, sexually, emotionally, basically any way (what if I want to kill someone? What if I'm a pedophile? What if I'm an abuser? What if I want to stab myself? Etc)
Fear of becoming or being sick
Worrying something bad will happen to you or people you care about
Worrying about your spiritual beliefs or lack thereof (what if I'm actually Christian? What if I'm actually atheist? What if i don't believe in the faith i ascribe to? Etc)
Worrying about relationship status (what if I don't actually love them? What if they're not "the one"? What if they're cheating? What if *I'm* cheating? Etc)
What if I'm a bad person?
Fear of losing things
Fear of things not feeling right (this is often be related to other themes via magical thinking. ex: if I don't have my things organized Just Right then something bad will happen)
Fear of unreality
Compulsions vary by theme a lot obviously, but some common ones include
Hand washing
Organizing things until they Feel Right
Checking and double checking and triple checking to make sure you did something correctly
Obsessively reviewing your memories to disprove a thoughtor make sure you don't believe something
Arguing against the thoughts in an attempt to disprove them
Testing your mental reactions to a thought or to certain kinds of content, to show yourself you don't actually believe or feel something
Obsessively googling symptoms, testimonies, things related to your thoughts
Obsessive prayer
Repeating phrases, mantras, affirmations, etc in an attempt to make thoughts go away
Avoiding things and situations that set off your intrusive thoughts
Repeatedly asking for reassurance from others ("I'm not being xyz, right?")
But yeah this obviously isn't exhaustive but, just, if this kind of thing sounds familiar, you should probably do some research on OCD, bc while intrusive thoughts can occur with other conditions, the intrusive thought-compulsion spiral is the core of OCD and isn't really a subaspect of depression/anxiety/ptsd/etc. and the treatment and management of OCD can look different from other stuff, so its a good thing to look into.
(Also it's important to keep in mind, esp if you're someone that doesn't have it, that someone's intrusive thoughts Are Not "secret desires" or "repressed urges" or anything the person even remotely wants to act on. Someone having harm-related intrusive thoughts is not at risk of actually acting on them, no matter how worried they are of doing so.)
Anyway this was a long post and I don't have a neat way to wrap it up and also I accidentally added a poll and now can't get rid of it so here's free poll. I'm running on nyquil and a small amount of straight gin (which works very well at numbing a sore throat) rn gnite
#ocd#actuallyocd#actually ocd#intrusive thoughts#my hand is fuckin stiff from typing this all out on my phone rip
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