#i actually dont have a way to end that sentence im just thinking about it. paul. john. my guy
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arsenicflame · 9 months ago
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steddyhands modern au inspired by this post:
(1828 words, themes of kink but nothing explicit, established blackhands & gentlebeard-centric. Happy Pride!)
Stede picks up leatherworking in the wake of his divorce. He's not exactly sure how it ended up being such an important hobby for him, only that he had always admired the intricate designs on his horse's best bridles, and with little else to do with his time, he decides to give it a go.
It's rocky going at first, but he's having fun working with his hands for the first time in his life, and there's a sense of satisfaction in seeing the design come to life as he works. With practice, his skills improve, and he learns how to make things that are truly one of a kind.
He starts off posting his pieces online, as a way to reach fellow enthusiasts, but quickly finds himself with a rather large audience. Stede’s style is unique, and, after many requests from his followers, Lucius encourages him to make some more basic pieces he can sell. It's not about making money for Stede, but another way to meet new people who share his interests- as Lucius keeps telling him, it's sad that his personal assistant is the main person he talks to these days. 
So Stede sets out on a new adventure, and has quite the time designing a new range of patterns for the market. He makes purses, belts, bracelets, and, most importantly, dog collars- all still with his unique designs embossed into them, of course. He rents a booth at his towns monthly craft fair, and very quickly finds himself with a new group of friends in the other regulars- Pete, his usual neighbour, who sells an array of wooden figures he carves, Roach, who runs a stand for his bakery, and Frenchie, who isn't actually a stallholder, but is almost always busking near his friend Wee John’s stand of knitted goods, bringing life to the market even in the pouring rain. There's also Buttons, another regular at the market. Nobody is exactly sure what he does there- he doesn't sell things, or seem to buy anything either, but rain or shine, he's there with the birds.
Stede’s been doing this a few months by the time June rolls around. As he's setting up his stand, he notices that the area is much busier than it’d normally be at this time of morning. Lucius, who got roped into helping run Stede’s stall somewhere down the line (despite his protests that this is not what personal assistant means… But hey, he got a boyfriend out of it, at least), reminds him that there's the parade today, too- not realising that Stede had no clue there was a parade today, and especially not that it was pride. Stede immediately jumps to fretting about the amount of stock he’s brought, and Lucius takes the cue to escape, saying he’ll go and grab them coffee (but really, he's off to flirt with Pete)
Lucius is still missing when Ed stumbles across the little leather stall. Stede’s just ran back to his car to fetch his last boxes of inventory, and by the time he returns, Ed’s already begun to narrow down his choices. Stede greets him, starting to tell him that they're not actually open yet, but before he gets more than a couple of words out, Ed’s exclaiming “You're a Kiwi!!!”
The two of them smile at the shared recognition, and Stede says he’ll make an exception, just for Ed, and asks him what exactly he was interested in. Ed tells him that he's looking for a collar “for his boy”, and points out the particular design he was looking at. It happens to be one of Stede’s favourites from this latest run of work, a fact he mentions to Ed. It leads them into a discussion about Stede’s craft, and Ed’s Izzy, and then everything in between. Ed’s listening intently to the things Stede’s telling him, completely drawn in by the process, and by Stede himself. He watches as Stede stamps Izzy's name into the collar, and Stede even lets him have a go at one of the stamps. 
Lucius reappears sometime in the middle of this- only to immediately retreat again, seeing Stede engrossed with Ed. He sets up camp at Pete's booth opposite, watching this man flirt intensely with his boss- and Stede flirt back just as hard. Does Stede even realise he’s doing it? Lucius had known Stede was gay since before Stede even admitted it to himself, but this is on a whole other level.
The pair stand there so long that Izzy comes to look for Ed- the two of them are manning a float on the parade with their crew, and it's past time for them to get geared up. He's already worked up, frustrated to have been left to set up everything alone, when Ed had just gone to see if he could get them both coffee. So maybe he's a bit of a prick, approaching with a brash “where the fuck have you been, Edward”, to which Stede brings the same energy, giving a bitchy “Ed! Do you know this guy?” Izzy tenses, ready to snap, but then Ed cuts in, excitedly telling Stede that this is “his Izzy!” Which confuses the hell out of Stede. 
Forgetting his earlier attitude, he asks Ed if he “really named his dog after his friend”, only to be met with confusion right back from Ed at where the hell Stede got the idea he had a dog from. Stede gestures at the bag with the collar in it, to which Ed has to tell him, “oh, no, that's for him.” Ed tells Stede that they're here to run a float for their local leather society, and while Stede is certainly shocked by what Ed’s saying, he's not finding himself… uninterested. It's simply that he’s never even considered any of this before, especially not that people would use the things that he made for this, but Ed sounds so enthusiastic about it all. He tells him about how his friends would love to see Stede’s work, about how classic leather gear is always so fucking boring- but not Stede’s stuff, no, Stede’s stuff is “fresh” and “fascinating” and unlike anything Ed’s ever seen before. 
Ed's enthusiasm is incredibly infectious, so when he invites Stede to come back to see their float, he readily agrees. It’s a concept Izzy’s less than enthusiastic about. He doesn’t really want to bring this man who’s dressed like he just walked out of a HOA board meeting to their kinky little corner of the world, but he is having a lot of fun watching Stede squirm, so decides not to raise a protest. He does demand he gets his long-overdue coffee first, though (Stede pays for it- as “compensation for him distracting Ed from his job”, he says, not giving Izzy a second to process before he's tapping his card)
By the time they return to the float, Fang, Ivan & Jim are waiting for them, all already geared up. Stede is stunned silent at the sight for about 5 seconds, before he starts actually looking at the quality of Jim’s harness, and proceeds to go off about the poor quality of the craftsmanship, about how the hardware is tacky and completely the wrong choice with this leather, how his “ten year old daughter could do a better job!!!” 
There's complete silence from the group, until Izzy, of all people, bursts into laughter at Stede’s audacity (and, the fact he was staring at Jim's tits completely unabashedly, like he hadn't even noticed them in the first place). Izzy's laughter sets Ed off as he tells the group about Stede’s misunderstanding- “you didn't say he was a person!” “I mean, he's my dog”- and soon everyone's having a friendly giggle at Stede’s mistake.
It's somewhere in the middle of the retelling that Ed remembers that this whole thing happened because he was buying Izzy a gift. After a moments fumbling, he presents Izzy with the collar-  It's a rich, deep black, embossed with a rolling pattern that resembles waves. It’s made from a firm enough leather to take the tooling, and to remind Izzy that he’s owned while he’s wearing it, yet still soft enough for long term comfort. Izzy's eyes immediately lock on to it, an unreadable expression coming over his face, and Ed turns it; first so he can really see the design and Izzy’s name embossed into it, and then so he can see the small “Ed ♥” on the inside of the collar, right over his swallow tattoo. 
“I did the heart,” Ed says to him softly, intended only for Izzy’s ears. Izzy's eyes flick up to Ed’s, and he raises his chin to give Ed the room to put it on. Ed buckles the collar around his neck almost reverently, a test of the tightness turning into a caress of Izzy's neck. It's a perfect fit.
It's as though something comes over Izzy; so twitchy and abrasive earlier, now silent, staring at Ed with a look akin to worship in his eyes. He obediently tilts his head for a kiss as Ed's fingers move to his chin- It's a sight to behold, and one that has Stede intrigued. He wants to know more about this lifestyle, and these men in particular. He wants to be the one to put that expression on Izzy's face.
The moment breaks as Ed and Izzy pull apart, and Ed calls for the crew to finish the last bits of set up. Izzy shakes himself a little before running off to bark orders again, but even still, there remains a softness to him that wasn't there before. 
Ed turns back to Stede with an apologetic smile, already obvious that he has to get going. Before he can speak, however, Stede jumps in -“My business numbers on the card in the box… I'll be around all day”- Ed’s smile turns more genuine at that, promising to stop by if he gets a moment, and that he’ll send his friend's Stede’s way- “if he wants that kind of business.” Stede says that he does, actually- that he's seen a whole new world already today, and, while he was a little taken aback at first, he can feel the passion Ed and his friends have for this life. If there's one thing that's ever mattered to Stede, it's other people's enthusiasm. Maybe he doesn't completely understand yet, but he would like to try.
One year later, Stede’s back at the market on pride weekend again, far better stocked for the crowds this time around. Lucius is finally free to spend the day flirting with Fang & Pete to his heart's content, now that Stede’s roped his own boyfriends into helping him run the stall- and into modelling the merchandise. Ed loves that part, while Izzy needs a lot more convincing, but the puppy eyes Stede & Ed weaponise against him make a very good argument.
#Despite what this post may imply; i actually know very little about the art of leatherwork#Im also not saying Stede got into leatherwork because of his repressed leather kink. But im not not saying that.#(This is not to say that i personally think leather gear is boring- i totally see the beauty in simple/plain designs & i get that the#style is all about the look of straps and hardware. but also. i know in my heart Edward ‘likes a fine thing’ Teach would be head over heels#for fun unique pieces. Its the whimsy of it all)#(not to turn this into OFMD meta but. You can like both; in fact. You can have the leather AND you can have the florals)#ALSO. dont ask me why izzy would find a big difference between wearing gear on the float vs the stand. it just felt right#(ok i do have reasoning. its the directness of it. in the parade its very part-of-a-crowd; every interaction in passing. running the stand#is direct interactions + they are specifically looking at Him. it feels different. but he does it because he loves his partners)#nyxtalks#ofmd#our flag means death#edward teach#stede bonnet#izzy hands#israel hands#blackbeard#blackhands#edizzy#gentlehands#stizzy#gentlebeard#blackbonnet#steddyhands#fanfic#sort of... i dont really consider this fic; more. scenario description but ill admit this ended up way closer to fic than i planned#but the weird stylistic choices are because. this wasnt intended as fully fleshed out fic.#i am not a writer & i dont want to be. im just a guy with ideas over here; and the best way to share ideas is through words#(Please dont count the commas per sentence ratio. Thats between me & god)#also. I cant believe i wrote something that can be tagged as gentlebeard centric. Who am i.
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choccy-milky · 8 months ago
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Their kids are so cute omg i'm gonna dir of adorableness
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lewis: then die LMFAOO NO BUT FRR THANK UU IM GLAD U THINK SO🥹🥹💖💖💖all the love for them (esp lewis) gave me the idea to draw him deflecting all the attention so ty for giving me the excuse to post it....we luv our aloof distant boi🥰
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its funny bc i was JUST talking about this recently, but i dont like pet names at all BAHAH, hence why seb and clora dont call each other anything, not even nicknames.... seb calls her the light/princess/a bird sometimes as playful and teasing jokes, but doesnt actually address her like that. and clora always calls sebastian by his full name as well, bc i was basing her dialogue/my writing off the game dialogue...bc for as close as anne and ominis are to seb, both of THEM call him sebastian in full, so maybe it was a victorian thing that nicknames werent really common? plus clora's so proper that it just feels like its in her personality to always call seb "sebastian"... i feel like if she ever DID call him "seb" he'd do a double take and be like ...HUH? who are you???......are you polyjuiced? LMAO. i do imagine seb calling clora "love" when they get older tho (not in hogwarts) bc i like how simple it is, and imagining him saying stuff like 'careful, love' makes me🫠🫠🫠🫠
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aw TYY💖💖 honestly i didnt give the victorian setting TOO much thought, other than making clora more modest/not used to wearing trousers etc. like the actual victorian courting process was that youd ALWAYS be chaperoned by at least 1 other person and you wouldnt be able to kiss or anything, so the fact that our mcs are in a co-ed school with free reign already ruins that, so i wouldnt worry too much about it. a lot of it you can just wave off with the excuse that wizard society is more advanced than muggle society, which is true anyway LOL. i just kept the parts that i thought were fun/made it feel victorian ENOUGH but got rid of the stuff that was too annoying (one big example being the amount of clothing they wear....i said it in the notes for one of my chapters, but i wasnt about to make seb go through like 5 different layers just to touch cloras titty LMFAO) and no i didnt have 1 specific website i used, id just google "blank in victorian times" and look through all the articles and resources i could on that subject, and take little bits of it. SO YEA i wouldnt worry about it too much, just take what you want if you think it could enrich your story, and leave stuff out if its annoying to deal with BHAHA. and GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR WRITING!!💖💖
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BAHAHA yeah sebs bark was defs bigger than his bite when it came to actually having kids/getting clora pregnant LOL. he defs loves the pregnancy part, but i feel like seeing her go through the actual labour was super hard on him/made him feel guilty bc he hates to see her in pain, let alone bc of HIM. not to mention that i imagine he would still work even once they have kids, so to leave clora with like 6 kids by herself isnt something he would have wanted to do LOL. once both lewis and celeste are in hogwarts tho i actually imagine seb and clora still doing curse breaking as well (albeit less dangerous jobs/not as far away) BUT YES having a third kid that looks like seb and is sassy like anne would be SO CUTEEE...a happy accident is a good idea too, tho i kinda like the idea of it being cloras idea.....like, she gets baby fever again now that the kids are kinda growing up and sebs like no i dont wanna put u through that again... but obvs seb wouldnt be able to resist if clora was begging seb to put a baby in her LMFAOOO its already as good as done at that point😇😇 AND THANK YOU, and im glad you liked it!!!🥹💖💖💖
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@the-kcm-muggleborn AWWW ur right thats so pretty.....ty for showing me!!🥹and im glad it make you think of clora...SHE WOULD APPROVE OF THESE STUDIES👌⭐🌙
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thedrotter · 10 months ago
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Re:Kinder Fun fact time!! Did you know? 😊
Yuuichi's theme song (the one that often accompanies his entrances with "Vamos Cantar!"), 新しい夏のナナ, is not in any latin language such as Spanish or Portuguese, despite its lyrics sounding as such. It's actually in Hanamogera, which to put it simply is nonsense speech based on japanese syllables. So the song's lyrics are essentially gibberish meant to imitate the sound of latin music! 😊
It is listed as such in the source site for the song, oo39.com, where the song can be found as "YS068" in the hanamogera category.
Additional fun fact! The song can also be found in Spotify as Vien Nana by Oo39.com themselves alongside a few other select songs from the site. So you can properly enjoy the song on the platform without having to import it from your local files.
Those are the fun Re:Kinder related fun facts for today... Use them to entertain your friends at parties ! ☺️
#re:kinder#not art#now tiny storytime in the tags!!! 😊...#what prompted me to look into this months ago was the fact i genuinely thought it was in spanish at first#AS A SPANISH NATIVE SPEAKER. I HEARD THIS SONG VAGUELY AND WAS LIKE... WOW... i wonder what it says!#because i thought i didnt understand it as i was mostly paying attention to the text or because of my computer's speaker#plugged headphones in and heard carefully... i didnt understand anything. but it sounded just like it i was so confused#for a second i wondered if it was portuguese but there was no way it was because even then i would have known😭#the magic of knowing either language of spanish (at least latin spanish) and portuguese is it makes the other very recognizable#this was not it looked for the opinions of other latin speaking language people THEY DID NOT UNDERSTAND A THING#and thats how i ended up looking into the source and finding this out 😊#i was very pleasantly surprised to see it was gibberish because IM NOT SURE HOW TO EXPRESS TO YOU ITS VERY GOOD#VERY WELL DONE GIBBERISH SO WELL DONE IT MAKES A PROPER SENTENCE AT ONE POINT#gibberish so well done it fooled native speakers into thinking it was their own languages . so good im so obsessed with this#i had to share this fun fact eventually somrwhere other than yourjbe comments#and i remembered i could acrually speak here about the game and not only post art of it teehee😊#so thats your awesome fun fact micht also drop more if im confident in doing so and their validity because theres more tbat are in japanese#and im trying to figure em out watch as i study the inner workings of a language so i dont have to learn how to actually speak it#(i love conlangs so this is a good excuse)
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budasina-cattail · 6 days ago
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skxllz · 1 year ago
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Hi! IDK IF YOUR TAKING REQUESTS BUT IM GONNA SEND ONE ANYWAY AND YOU DONT HAVE TO DO IT IF YOU ARENT TAKING REQUESTS
Can you do Lucifer, Alastor and whoever else you wanna add with a reader who just swallows/eats anything/weird things?
A piece of tissue? Sure! Plastic? Yippee! A pebble? Why not! Keys? Yummy! A rubber duck? Quack quack! A piece of Alastors cane? Don’t kill me!!
I'm not currently taking requests but I'll do this for you hon <3 I apologize if it doesn't live up to your expectations!
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
𝐥𝐮𝐜𝐢𝐟𝐞𝐫, 𝐚𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫 & 𝐯𝐨𝐱 𝐟𝐭...
𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐬 𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐨𝐦 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬
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🐤 - 𝚕𝚞𝚌𝚒𝚏𝚎𝚛
➳ when you two first started dating - scratch that, first started talking, he picked up on the fact that you had random quirks. bored? you'd make random noises. sometimes, you'd lay on the floor just to lay there. for no reason, you'd hang upside down on the couches in the foyer. —he once questioned you and you said, I quote, “ I want to feel the blood rush to my head, it's fun. ”— to say the least, you puzzled him, but he brushed it off because who wasn't an oddball in hell?
➳ now, when you actually started dating and you got more comfortable is when he noticed some of his rubber ducks missing - and not just the ducks, but rather some of the things he used on them as well. glue, for example.
➳ “ hey, um, sweetie? ” he approached you one day, quite confused from where his things were suddenly disappearing to. you hummed in reply, looking up from your phone. lucifer blinked at you slowly, trying to come up with a way to word his sentence without seeming like he was accusing you of anything. “ have you seen my glue? the kind I use for- ” — “ no. ” you had answered too quickly for his liking.
➳ as the days carried on, more of his shit would vanish. it got to the point where it'd frustrate him. it wasn't until one day, where his latest creation knocked off of his desk and rolled under it, did he find one of the ducks he had been looking for. except... it had a bite mark taken out of it...
➳ lucifer was dubbed shocked. his eyes widened, lips pulled down in a duck-lipped press. what in the seven rings of hell? he's never seen anything like this, and he doesn't own a hell hound, so who-
➳ and then his mind drifted to you.
➳ he recalled your weird behaviour; the way you were sweating nervously and avoiding eye contact. he should've known you had something to do with it.
➳ but to eat his rubber ducks? he's going to have a serious talk with you about your diet.
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📻 - 𝚊𝚕𝚊𝚜𝚝𝚘𝚛
➳ this radio demon didn't really show interest in you at first. you seemed innocent - too innocent, but still innocent, and that just didn't catch his attention in the slightest. if anything, you seemed bothersome.
➳ I'd like to think he first took interest in you when vaggie found a corner of the end of her spear broken off. no one dared touched it before, and you were new to the hotel - it didn't take a genius to put two and two together. but I guess, in a sense, no one else suspected you since you never bothered anything else.
➳ one night, when almost everyone was asleep, you snuck off to the kitchen to find something to eat. you were starving since you hadn't had dinner and couldn't really bother to just fall asleep on an empty stomach. a certain radio demon had followed you, startling you out of your wits as you turned around only to spot him there. “ funny to see you awake, dear! ”
➳ you explained to him, nervously, that you couldn't sleep. he hummed, pretending to show he was listening, before skipping right to the point of why exactly he was there. “ I couldn't help but realize that, earlier today when our dearest vaggie was rather upset, you hadn't moved an inch from your spot on the sofa. in fact, you seemed almost... ” he paused, pretending to ponder, his smile widening. “ guilty. care to explain the reasoning for that, hm? ”
➳ at that point, you were avoiding eye contact. hands twined behind your back, thumbs twiddling out of anxiousness, you searched for an excuse through your jumbled brain, attempting to think of absolutely anything just to slip away from alastor. but knowing him, he'd probably see right through the charade - he's been around way longer than you, and is a mastermind at getting into people's heads. no doubt he'd figure out you fibbed. — “ I just felt guilty that I couldn't help at all. vaggie is a close friend, I hate to see her upset. ”
➳ instead of buying the lie, like you had predicted, the bob-wearing demon leaned down and gave you a close-lipped grin; half lidded eyes flashing dangerously beneath the light that gleamed from atop the stove. “ or is it because, perhaps, you had something to do with it? ”
➳ that's when you blurted out. “ I ate it. ” and, much too afraid to gouge alastor's reaction, you turned and took off running out of the kitchen.
➳ if you would've stayed, however, you would've seen the way alastor's eyes momentarily widened. he was.. shocked, to say the least. he didn't think he had heard you right at first, but he knew for certain his ears didn't deceive him.
➳ with his narrowed eyes now staring after your figure, he straightened his posture, folding his hands behind his back and humming to himself. “ interesting creature, they are... ”
➳ you have now caught his attention. expect more interactions with the infamous deer!
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📺 - 𝚟𝚘𝚡
➳ picture this; you're one of velvette's models. you're dating vox, her business partner. they're both aware of how weird you can be, and yet, they both seem to favorite you - hell, even val (but let's face it, he just wants you for your body, which isn't going to happen).
➳ you're in the middle of getting your hair prepped and straightened when you had the sudden urge to just chew. it always came on randomly, but most of the time when you were bored. sitting in a chair, with sprits blasting into your face and hair utensils tugging in your hair, and hell forbid you weren't allowed to move- it was not exactly fun. so you started to eye the new collection of makeup sponges that were just set upon your personal vanity.
➳ they looked squishy, flimsy, chewable... oh so tempting. so while rachelle, your hairstylist, was busy talking her head off, too busy to notice you stretching your arm forward, you snatched one up.
➳ velvette came strutting down the midst of the aisle with a firm hand on her hip and a ripple in the center of her brow, shouting at many of the other stylists on what to do, what not to do - what looked better on her models, what looked cheap. she could not afford to have her best women looking as if they escaped the hands of a hellhound, it just wouldn't do. but that's when she turned, pointing a demanding finger at rachelle to amp up the heat on your straightener because the ends of your hair were curling up. that's also when she noticed you not only chewing on the newly bought sponge, but eating it.
➳ “ oh for fuck sake! ” the dark-skinned demon spewed, catching your attention and making you freeze. velvette reached an arm forward, only to wrap her digits around what was left of the sponge and rip it from your grasp. your chair turned on cue, showing you sheepishly smiling at the fuming female. “ I told you not to stuff your damn mouth full of random shit! especially my new makeup equipment — ” she turned away, stomping her healed foot to the ground. “ fuck! ”
➳ it wasn't long before vox had arrived before the demoness due to her calling him and shouting profanities over the phone. you were left to sit in the chair, huffing nonsense under your breath, while rachelle finished with your hair in silence.
➳ when the overlord made his presence known, rachelle excused herself — and thankfully she had finished your hair. “ y/n, dear.. ” vox smoothly spoke, for once not sounding like an overly cocky twat. it's usually only in the presence of others, but given that not many people were around, he dialed a softer tone with you.
➳ “ I didn't do anything, ” you rolled your eyes, looking away with a puffed out frown. yes, you were spoiled, but who wouldn't be, dating the owner and inventor of voxtech?
➳ vox sharply looked down at you, eyeing you with a sense of irritance —for angering velvette— but fondness —because you're his—. “ don't be like that. how many times have we talked about eating random things, hm? ”
➳ “ ... about- fifty nine? I lost count. ”
➳ “ around there. ” the tv demon moved, placing his hands on the back of the swivel chair you sat upon, while now holding eye contact with you through the mirror to your vanity. “ and what have we talked about, sweetheart? ”
➳ you were silent at first. staring him down, eyes hooded and ghosted over with annoyance. it was irritating how he was speaking to you like a child. “ well? ” vox impatiently, patiently, questioned; his claws dragging along the back of the chair, only to glide over your nape. closing your eyes out of bliss from the movement, you sighed. “ don't eat random things because they're bad for me... ”
➳ “ exactly. ” vox mischievously smiled down to you, squeezing the back of your neck gently. “ now, don't you think you owe velvette an apology? ”
➳ as you nod your head, vox releases his grip on you, letting your hair fall back down against your skin. “ good. come now, we have to get that out of the way; I have things to discuss with you. ”
➳ your discussion ended pretty well :).
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m4y4wasnthere · 9 months ago
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soc!reader x dallas winston hcs
cw: minor smoking mention, suggestive ones at the end
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you were friends with Pony and Johnny because of Cherry
Pony and Johnny always would talk abt how tuff you were, Dallas once overheard them
He didn’t like you, he wasnt fond of the fact you were a soc, regardless of what pony and johnny said abt you. the only reason he didn’t hate you was because of how Cherry proved herself to be a good person
they had to beg darry to let you come over
you were wearing a white sweetheart top with some simple jeans. you loved pearl necklaces and was wearing a pink bow in your hair
when he first saw you, his first thought was how pretty you were. he liked the fact you were slightly dolled up just to meet your friend’s crew
“whats your name dollface?” dallas completely set aside his soc hatred for you
his reaction left pony and johnny shocked lmao “dal i thought you didnt lik-“ dallas shoved pony before he could finish his sentence.
you didnt hear alot about dallas, but you knew he was a hood who got into jail every other week.
you couldnt help but giggle to the nickname, “my name is y/n, nice to meet you, um dal is it?”
his heart fluttered at you calling him that. “uh- the name is dallas winston but yea, you can call me dal.” he tried and lean on the doorway behind him but he missed and slipped before quickly catching himself
he mentally facepalmed , he knew the gang was gonna make fun of him for this later
he loves seeing all your outfits and all the different accessories you have
you have a white/pink mustang and he engraved D.W + (ur initals) on it
you were a bit angry when you found it but it was small and hidden enough to the point where u decided u werent gonna get it fixed (you secretly thought it was cute the whole time)
hes snuck into your room plenty of times, and you love putting a bow in his hair
“cmon doll, y’know i dont wear this girl stuff” he sat on your bed, slightly sinking on the mattress.
“baby if you want to keep sneaking in here then yes, you do wear this girl stuff.” After the bow was clipped on, you kissed his cheek and he seemed to not mind anymore.
Tries his best not to get into jail as much anymore because you hate it. not only do you hate being separated from him, you want him to have an okayyy rep when he meets your parents
hes not completely sober (yet? lets hope 🤞) but he starts to limit how much he smokes since he doesn’t want to be a bad influence on you. If you guys are around each other, then he won’t smoke. Even if that means no smoking for a whole day or 2
you get super scared whenever he surprises you by walking to your house because you dont want him to get jumped by other soc’s
you were chilling on your couch when you heard someone knock on the door, you were in pretty floral silk-like pajamas and had your hair up.
you peeked before seeing your boyfriend. “Dal what’re you doing here? Did you walk here?”
“…yes, but im fine doll s-“
“Dallas Winston, I told you to not walk here by yourself, especially in broad daylight! What if you got jumped!” He walked in, and you locked the door. You crossed your arms, not stepping towards him.
he hates it when you use his full name, his head was down and he fake pouted. “ ‘m sorry doll, forgive me please. I’ll make it up to you.” He held his arms out for a hug.
As much as you wanted to stand your ground, you gave into his hug.
lets just say you guys were kissing.. alot, he promised to make it up to you 🤷‍♀️
He secretly loves saving up whatever money he has to buy you nice things, makes him feel like he actually deserves you. Probably would play it off by saying stuff like “saw this lying around and…” “i picked this up on the way…do you like it?”
His insecurity about if you actually want him and if hes good enough for you is pretty apparent. He doesn’t think you see it but you’ve caught on and make sure to tell him you love him a lot.
• suggestive ones •
Loves praising you, especially if your giving him a blowjob or right when the round finishes
“Your eyes are so pretty looking up at me doll”
“You’re taking me so well”
“You were so good doll, I love seeing you feel good because of me”
You once wore a pretty white lingerie set, and he couldn’t keep his hands off of you for hours
Teases you a lot about your matching bra/panty sets
“You matched for me doll?”
“The white sets’ my favorite”
Can’t get enough of your beautiful face, he once gave you a facial and ever since then, he always hopes you allow him to do it everytime
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ay-chuu · 7 months ago
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Thank you, next? (Ex!)
Obey me boys (brothers + dateables <except simeon>) past lovers hcs and thoughts about why mc is different from them. <AKA why they fell for you> (By the way i didnt specify any gender in ex's because i talk about all genders!!) Mc is gn too!
(Warning: kinda suggestive. Talking about one night stands and pls, pls spare my grammer mistakes eng. Is not my first language 😔🤙🏾)
Notes: idk why but i couldn't write for my fav, simeon. Maybe i will add him to this post in future
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Lucifer
I dont think his pride let him date someone ever. He stayed in the line of courting and flirting. Like really a lot. He just wanted to see if they were going to gain his affection or not. The persons im actually talking about is always... prideful like him. He never gave a chance to people like Diavolo. (So diavolo was his first in this category AHEM!) Loyals to noble, citizen to high society. It didnt matter to him. He flirted everyone who catched his attention (which is really hard...) and when it happened it just ended with some one night stands. He never felt love. He just liked them for fun, passion or just to... experience. Witches, sorcerers, demons, angels... it really didnt matter to him.
Personas like Mc was out of his lines naturally. His pride didnt even make him thought about it. But as his brothers started to be fond of you, he realised what he misses. The real sincerity he wants, the real experience he aches... that was the first realization of his love for you.
Mammon
He dated people that mostly like him. careless, luxury-loving, praise-loving and boastful... you know the starboys, stargirls, star people like 'amazing' as him. Models, actresses, actors, singers, idols... and even though he never dated a witch he had some one night stands. Sorry for bad example but until meeting mc, dating for him was like leanardo di'caprios love life 👋🏼😭 (HE DOESN'T HAVE THE AGE PROBLEM PLS)
The reason he fell hard was how he actually felt some really careness from mc unlike some fake praises or just you know... unnecessary exaggerated sentences. But with mc, he really felt like being listened. Being cared, being not put the role of some jerk.
Leviathan
None. Except you count his 3 months virtual lover lolol?? He was just jealous of his brothers and wanted to experience it but he just really felt like doing some lovers rp in that time. Even his brothers doesn't know this too.
Does he really have to explain? You always acted him nice. Never saw him as a key of something. You really loved to listen his yapping. And never judged him for a something that he actually screwed. Yoy accepted him as a friend, and he did too. But as some time passes... he realised he was in love with his true friend.
Satan
Dating? No. Courting? No. Flirting? For some fun and lust, yes. Just these. Except that he loved to be unique socialite. He loved to feel the 'i want to be with you' eyes on him. He never admits this too. But like a cat, he just loved to gain it. His social connections are everwhere so from witches to sorcerers, models to artists, lower demons to nobles he always got the attention he wanted. But like i said it was just some fun. A passion that lasts as long match. Thats all.
You accepted the challenge of peeling his barriers. And the first time you did... he was really angry. (The moment you declined his pact offer) he really didnt like to fail his achieves. But you didnt like it either. He loved that. But all aside, you found his existential crisis a solve. And you just did it because it became right to you. Not because you wanted to impress him... or lucifer. He felt this in his long life for first.
Asmodeus
... do you really need me to explain? All people. He tried every kind, sort, type, every! As long as he felt like a new kind of challenge, a new kind of lust and being worshiped. When i say everyone i mean it. From the devildom to human world. Even when he was an angel. He was just a bit more careful and less playful then.
Not being able to charm you? Challenge accepted. Being x2 times AND emotionally charmed by you? Take it back. TAKE IT BACK! He always loved to being attached not to attached to someone! But as he knows you more, he realize this is also a new kind of feeling! He always thought live long loves were going to make him so bored and prisoned at some point. And he was right about being prisoned. But did he care? Not anymore.
Beelzebub
Nahh even he did tried to date [he was just curious] it backfired. Whenever the person asked for some alone time or date he always declined because of some kind of planned event with his brothers. And with some time this caused the relationships end naturally. His family was always first for him.
And thats the reason. His family is always FIRST for him. And you, who saved his brother and made his family all happy and together again also were a family member. You were just new in it. You did what he couldnt. He was so grateful to have you... and his admiration for you turned to love. Because he realized how perfect you personality was. Because he realized how his family was healed with you.
Belphegor
He probably always made fun of this topic like an emo boy 🥲 whenever he felt some urges like lust he just had some one night stands. He was so focused on his self hatred side and that made him always look down on love.
And now he also hates about himself for this too. He always felt guilt how this way of thinking made him hurt you. How someone like you, just a human, free him from lucifer and... his own prison. He killed your trust. He literally strangled it with his hand. But still, you found a way to find a new trust again and show to him. He really believed he really didn't deserve you. And when he realized that, he knew what he was feeling.
Diavolo
He did it for learning duty. As the prince of devildom he must know how to court a lady, gentleman or anybody. So he really courted lots of person. He was really kind to them. Even though he was forced to do so with some of them (ahem politic reasons) he never dropped his perfect act. But problem was here. It was all act. He never felt like saying the things he actually said. Or when he spent the night away with them he always felt so weird after with it. Still knowing he was going to marry a demon someday and going to do that anyways, he did not think so much on it.
But never he did think he would fallen love with a human that he invited. At first he really tried to deny and reason himself. Like even though he did break all the 3 barriers and connected them, this didn't gave a permission to have you. Still, he didnt care. He always acted like a good prince and he still does. Doesn't he deserves some really sincerity. Doesn't he deserves your kind actions. Even if its a little bit, doesn't he deserves you?
Barbatos
This mf... bro is the kind of parent that did all kind of things but never let his son doing it. I mean it. When he was using his power freely he did lots of sins about love. Breaking hearts, seducing someone taken to have it himself, then leave them to start a new adventure... man was the owner of the song: heartless. But since he started to serve as diavolo's butler, he changed all of his personas about this. Even his one night stands was so rare. And he is acting like a such a parent about this too. Like when diavolo starts to say about his new courtship bro is yapping like "may i meet them first my lord?" . If there was a thing that didn't changed about him, this was how slowly he would give himself to someone.
And this happened with you too. When he sensed your interest, he hid himself pretty well. But the trouble was, Barbatos realized that your interest was more of a pure curiosity than the curiosity he had experienced in the past. In fact, many people had approached him like this in the past. The difference was that now he had really changed. Goodness, did many year let him forget what was exciting about this... but no. This was so much better. Because for a first time, he wanted to give in really. For a first time he wanted to last it long. Yes he changed a lot. And he wished he did it sooner.
Solomon
I do not think in game he had 700 wives and 300 concubine BUT i think he dated some people for benefits. Like more power, knowledge, etc. Also he had a loong life as human so im sure he had sone interests. But he never felt... the one for him. He just felt nice, giggly, also got the things he wanted. Thats all. "It was nice while it lasted" is the quote for him.
At first he was amused how every brother started to fall for you one by one. This got him curious. He actually thought you were like him and always found a way to charm someone to make them do the things you wanted. But he didn't expect you to be REALLY get attached to brothers because you love them. And it was this easy for you. He was all alone in his thoughts and goals almost in every inch of his life. But you came, didn't question him, just wanted to help him with his loneliness like you did the brothers. You didn't even asked more from him but he wanted to give you more. So he ofdered you to be his apprentice. For him, you were a diamond he had been searching in underground for decades.
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todayisawthewhxlewxrld · 1 year ago
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"you act like you just saw a Ghost."
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"all your games, all your lies"
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synopsis// satoru gojo is horrible at pranks.
pairing// satoru gojo x gn! reader
word count// 1.3k
contents// the prank in question is playing dead, maybe borderline hurt/comfort?, angst maybe but regardless there's a happy ending?
notes// this is how im coping. gege is just punking us that's all. i also just thought this was such a stupid oneshot idea i love it i think im such a fucking comedian for this. but this is kinda (very) half-assed... anywho it was inspired by the song ghost by fefe dobson (dont play with me rn.)
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"Satoru, I'm home!” 
When you get no response, you find yourself gazing about your eerily empty home. You hum to yourself. Odd. Satoru usually greets you right at the door.
“Satoru?” You call out again, trying to ignore how your anxiety rises as you slowly enter your bedroom.
Red immediately floods your vision; it’s everywhere. It’s on the walls, it’s on the bedsheets, it’s on the floor—there’s practically no place left untouched by the liquid. You swallow harshly and make a point to not step into the liquid that seems a little too similar to blood for comfort, albeit the task is to no avail because it's everywhere.
“Sato-“
Your voice dies in your throat the minute you see him on the ground. Satoru is laying there lifeless, covered in blood. There's no rise or fall of his chest, only an empty, vacant stare in his glossed-over eyes. You freeze. For far longer than you should have.
This isn't real.
This can't be.
There's no way Satoru is laying here dead, in a puddle of his own blood. You inhale harshly, not even aware you were holding your breath in the first place, as you drop down to your knees and crawl the rest of your way toward him, oblivious to the fact that you're now coated in just as much blood as he is. The moment you're by his side, It all hits you at once. Holy shit, Satoru is laying here in a puddle of his fucking blood. You hesitantly shake him.
“Satoru?”
You wait a second to see if he’ll say anything or do anything—even a twitch of his fingers would suffice, but nothing.
"Satoru, please,” you say, desperation flooding your voice as you shake him harder.
When nothing happens again, you shake him once more, but this time you don't stop. You simply keep shaking him, hoping that if you shake him hard enough, he’ll do something to prove he’s still alive.
"Satoru, this isn't funny." Your breathing is labored as panic fully seeps into your veins. "Satoru, wake the fuck up!” You slap his face, only for his head to merely loll to the side.
And that was the last straw. Suddenly you're thrown into a sob so violent it racks your whole body, shaking as you can do nothing but rest your head on his chest and sob for him to wake up, to stop messing around because this isn't funny, to just please wake up, yet he doesn't. You don't notice how his chest is starting to contract; you're sobbing so hard that you think it's just you who’s making him move, when suddenly a loud choke of laughter rings in your ears. You sit up immediately, still ugly-crying as you look down at Satoru, who is currently finding something absolutely hilarious.
Oh, you’ve lost it.
You’ve actually lost it; here you are hallucinating that your dead boyfriend is laughing.
Satoru wipes imaginary tears from his eyes. “Oh my god,” he says between laughs, “you should’ve seen your face!”
You blink at him, tears still freely flowing, as you lean back down and place your head against his chest.
“Whatcha doing?” 
“Shut the fuck up.” 
Satoru goes stiff but does as he’s told, and when you can hear his heart beating rhythmically, thumping perfectly fine as all hearts should, you grow cold, like maybe you’re the one who was actually dead a few seconds ago. You sit back up.
“Gonna tell me what you were doing now or-“
His sentence is interrupted by you abruptly standing up and screeching in a fit of anger, or maybe more so, betrayal, “You fucking asshole!”
Satoru, clearly taken aback, scrambles to stand up along with you, holding his hands out in front of him placatingly. "Woah, woah, babe, calm down-"
“Calm down?” You snap, staring at him with an animosity he’s never seen from you before. "Don't tell me to calm down when I thought you were just fucking dead!”
He sheepishly glances down at the fake blood-covered floor. “It was just a prank..."
“Fuck you!” And you snap, thrown head first into another sobbing fit, wrapping your arms around yourself in a pitiful attempt to comfort yourself while you babble incoherently: "I don't—I can't."
Satoru’s heart breaks right inside his chest, and he doesn’t think he’s ever regretted anything more than his stupid idotic antics right now. He can't bear to see you like this; this might actually kill him. He can't take it. He can't take knowing that he’s the entire reason you're in this state in the first place. He takes a step closer, opening his arms up to hug you, and you flinch away from him the moment you notice.
"Don't touch me, Satoru.”
Satoru frowns, ignoring the tears stinging his eyes and the burning sensation of rejection that encompasses him whole. He thinks—no, he knows—that whatever he could say right now wouldn't help, but maybe giving you some space will, so he steps back and clears his throat. "I'm gonna go shower.”
You sniffle and turn away from him, brusquely waving him off. “Do whatever you want."
 ☆⋆。𖦹°‧★ 
Satoru walks out of the bathroom with one towel in hand, drying his hair, and finds you sitting on the edge of the bed. He can’t help but notice the new sheets laid out and how the room is squeaky clean, quickly realizing you were left with the unfortunate task of cleaning up the last remaining remnants of his prank as he showered. You finally notice him in the doorway, but you hardly even spare him a glance.
“Are you still mad at me?” he asks as he makes his way toward you, tossing the towel on the floor before taking a seat next to you.
“You’re an asshole.”
"I know, I'm sorry,” he mumbles as he subtly scoots in closer toward you, and when you don’t bother moving away, he draws you into his arms, your back to his chest as he places his head on your shoulder. "I just wanted to play a prank on you.”
You stay stiff, refusing the innate need to melt into him. “You’re horrible at pranks.”
He buries his face in the crook of your neck and mumbles, "I know that now.”
You hum curtly, ignoring the shivers down your spine—though your resolve is very quickly turning nonexistent, you’ve never been anything but putty in his hands.
Satoru places chaste kisses against your neck, murmuring, “How long are you gonna torture me for?”
“Till you've thought about your actions.”
He pulls away from you and twists your body around so that you’re face-to-face. “I have! I thought about them the whole time in the shower.” He leans in and nudges his nose with yours, whispering, "I'm sorry.”
You stare at him blankly for a moment before sighing, your entire body sagging in relief as you finally give in to your desires and close the distance between you two. Satoru, overjoyed with the fact you’re kissing him, can’t help but return the favor with vigor. Each kiss is followed by him mumbling, "I'm sorry," and it goes on for god knows how long—though you don’t really care, you just care that he is alive, that he is kissing you, that he is here, and it was just a very poor, poor prank that hopefully he’ll never do again—no, a prank you’ll make sure he never does again. You take back the initiative and kiss him deeply, taking his bottom lip between your teeth that has a whine escaping Satoru’s mouth before it transforms into a full-on wince of pain from you biting him.
He pulls away abruptly, his fingers darting up to cradle his bottom lip. “Ow! What the hell was that for?”
You stare up at him innocently, even going as far as tilting your head to the side like you’ve done nothing wrong at all—though your facade is quickly shattered when you lean back in and Satoru instinctively leans back, but you grab him by the back of his neck, forcing his head in place harshly, whispering through a menacing smile, “If you ever pull something like that again, Satoru Gojo, I will personally make sure that you die by my hands.”
“…Noted.”
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©TODAYISAWTHEWHXLEWXRLD
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sturniolo04 · 6 months ago
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The Confession 1 C.S.
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Fwb!Mean!Chris x Fwb!Fem!Reader
A/N: I tried something different :)
*Really long you have been warned.
I dont even know how I ended up in this position. One minute my best friend Madi thinks she likes both Matt and Chris and the next she is 100% Matt. Me and Madi are super close I mean we practically grew up together and when we met the triplets in Boston everything changed, our circle grew just a little bit bigger. Lately, I haven't been the best friend to Madi just because I have been neglecting to confess to her about my secret crush on Chris and I am not the type to run over her if she knows she likes Chris because who am I to tell her she can't like him especially since I haven't told her that I did.
its about 1:50 in the morning and by this time Madi had walked all the way to a park and found a bench to sit and bawl her eyes out she couldnt figure out why she was feeling this bad whether it was that she couldnt articulate how she hurt Matt and Chris or if it is was because she cant choose between chris and matt she knows them both equally for a long time. sighing looking down at her phone finally deciding to call the one person she knew is always there. Holding in my tears as the dial tone rings hoping she wasnt asleep yet.
"Hello Madi"
jess speaks into the phone
"Jess"
she states through choked tears
"Madi what's going on love what happened" 
"i messed up really bad and i dont know what to do"
she exclaims letting her tears fall
"Madi"
"I like chris and matt and ive might have messed up our friendship"
"no madi you didnt okay i promise you didnt they are still your friends and they love you"
you quickly reply feeling that heavy feeling in your chest again as she still thinks she like chris.
"i dont know"
she replies through a fit of tears
"its okay promise try to get some sleep and you will feel so much better tomorrow i promise"
you reply reassuring her.
"okay goodnight"
she sniffles out
"goodnight i will see you when you get back home "
she hung up from jess and sighed out once more calming her nerves proceeding to walk back to the house. as she made her way into the driveway sitting back on the concrete driveway where the night officially started 
"MADI"
you exclaim softly seeing her sitting on the driveway
"hi"
she replies quietly as she turns around to look at you
"i was so worried are you okay"
you ask again.
"im sorry"
you sigh squatting down and hugging her then sitting down next to her
"i fucked things up didnt i"
she huffs out
"what no well i mean chris and matt are not speaking to each other currently but i mean whats new"
you sigh out since madi basically confessed to both of them on the same night and them both finding out in this driveway tonight.
" but it was my fault im the reason they are mad at each other"
"no no youre not okay they are just being them okay they will grow up"
you reassure her
"but i mean i told you had feelings for chris too"
you state smirking trying to shake the heavy feeling in her stomach at that sentence.
"jesss"
"you know i love you"
you say side hugging her
'well im going to bed you think youre going to be okay"
"yeah thanks j" 
"okay"
you say standing up and walking back into the house as madi rests her head on her arms positioned on top of her knees as someone comes and sits next to her quietly
"hi matt"
she speaks softly out noticing his presence
"hey"
"im sorry"
"why you were just being honest" 
he sighs out
"i do really like you" 
she confesses again
"no madi you and chris are perfect and honestly it makes he was at least able to communicate how he feels about you without being oblivious about it im not the one you need madi you are way out of my league and im okay with that honestly"
he sighs out rambling
"what the actual fuck matt stop youre  out of my league why do you just automatically assume your not good enough" 
she exclaims frustrated standing up and wrapping the blanket you had brought her getting upset
"madi no youre not out of league okay just stay"
he says pulling her hand down a little as she sighs and sits back down as matt pulls me into him connecting our lips guiding her on his lap in the process. He tangled his fingers through her messy hair as he continue to make out with her. Her hands wrapped around his neck tightly as he stood up carrying her back into the house. shepulled away quickly he closed the door behind them and set her back on her feet.
"Matt if-if"
she trails of whispering
"wait"
he stops her as he pulls his and her shoes off leaving them downstairs as he swiftly picks her up again by her thighs taking her upstairs to her room quietly being sure not wake up anyone especially Chris. Matt leans back in after setting her on her bad standing in between her legs attempting to connect their lips again but madi halted him in the process.
"matt..seriously come on"
she giggles out as he sighs out stares at her as she bites her lip slowly.
"yes madi you were saying"
he chuckles out
"matt if- if we do this"
she trails off motions towards them
"no one can know yet"
"okay"
he kind of chuckles at the concept
"im serious matt"
she exhales out looking at him as his face softens at her response
"at least until i figure out how to tell" 
"chris"
"yeah because"
"i know i know"
he sighs out moving himself from in between her to next to her laying on her bed. 
"jess' mom might be coming to boston"
"what that so cool"
"yeah she called her when i walked off tonight"
"oh" 
"yeah"
"well im going to go"
he states standing up
"where"
she states worried
"dont worry just in the other room with chris maybe so you can get some sleep"
he chuckles out giving madi a forehead kiss as he walks out of her room.
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Madi wakes up the next morning mentally face palming herself considering well she basically made out with Matt after literally confessing to both brothers she has feelings for them. she rolled out of bed hoping everything will return to normal. she shower and put on this And head downstairs to be met with the face of the one and only
"good morning"
"whats up how are you feeling"
"better just like jess said"
"jess"
"i talked to her last night after everything"
"oh okay hey madi listen forget everything i said last night i was just being stupid it was nothing"
he states quickly realizing he also confessed that he liked you.
"chris i dont think it was nothing you dont have to lie about it"
"no im being for real"
"christopher"
"what im serious"
"okay then sound cool"
she states heading back upstairs
"where are you going"
"to wake up matt and everyone else"
Chris couldnt understand why he said that he literally let her get away again. His thoughts were soon interrupted the sound of jess's doorbell ringing. He went over and opened the door to reveal
"oh hi there i was- where is jess"
jess mom trails off
"she's upstairs um"
he trailed off kind of awkwardly since he had no idea that this jess's mom as what sounded like jess's laugh approaching the bottom of the stair case. I turned to see jess walking down with Nick and Madi being carried down the stairs by matt. the lady at the door cleared her throat as they all snapped out of their trance looking in that direction
"Mom"
she exclaims running over and hugging her
"mom"
Chris questions
"yeah.. mom this is chris, matt, nick and then you remember madi"
she trails off as chris waves his hand
"Hi you all"
she says with a raised eyebrow smiling
"jess; mom"
she exlcaims hugging her after jess
"hey madi"
"when did you get here" 
madi asks her
"last night when jess called"
Madi looks over at jess standing next to her as she shrugs her shoulders a little not wanting to talk about last night at all due to the fact she still felt the pit in her stomach of guilt of even allowing herself the like chris and not trust madi enough to even tell her that you liked him.
"so mom do you want to come on in then"
she states as madi and her both step aside to let her in
"how long are you going to be here for"
"just the weekend"
"maybe we can all go somewhere and just hang out for a little bit maybe grab dinner does that sound good guys"
she asks everyone
"im fine with that"
nick agrees nodding his head
"mom"
you question her
"sure plus i want to see all there is about Boston since this is my first time up here"
"well the triplets can definitely help point out those key spots since they've grown up here"
"literally"
chris chuckles out admiring jess' laugh slightly
"cool so do want me to ride with you"
"umm.. im going to ride with jess and her mom is that okay"
"uh yeah of course" 
madi and you grab your shoes and they all head out the door.
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"soo"
she trails off looking the mirror at the two girls in the backseat of the car
"what's going on with you and Matt Madi"
"uhh"
" yeah i was going to ask about that i mean i knew you guys made up because i saw him come outside after i left you after you came back home"
"umm i dont know what you guys are talking about"
"are you sure because i remember clearly you being carried down the stairs by him this morning"
"in a skirt too at that madii"
you exclaim dragging out the 'i' in your best friend's name
"oh come on what is that suppose to mean just because we made up doesn't mean we are dating"
"so your telling me he hasnt tried to make a move on you after everything that happened yesterday evening"
she asks as madi kind of stares off into space getting flashbacks to last night of literally her and matt making out in her driveway
"oh my god he totally did didnt he"
"what no jess no" 
"madi"
jess's mom exclaims trying to get an answer out of her
"OKAY maybe we might have made out in the driveway at like 2 in the morning"
"MADISON"
you exclaim at your best friend with your jaw dropped
"what i mean its wasnt like terrible"
she shyly replies.
"that you made out with your bestfriend the best friend you liked for literally ever or that he was actually good at making out"
"OH MY GOODNESS"
madi exclaims embarrassed
" just asking"
"OH MY GOD NO"
"it was definitely the second option"
you giggle out
"shut up Jess"
she exclaims pushing some of her hair behind her ear opening her phone
"just make sure you do and know what your heart wants madi" 
"of course always"
Taglist
@dirtylittleheart333 @stayingstromboli @wh0resstuff @mintsturniolo @spicymuffins03 @emely9274
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majorproblems77 · 11 months ago
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LU Update! So welcome back to the analysis corner with me!
We have another LU update! Called Moving forward we see the heroes leave the town and make their way to the location that Sky found. With learning a little more about the team as a whole.
With 10 pages there's a lot of information to work through so I hope you are sitting comfortably
As always Linked universe (LU) belongs to @linkeduniverse and Jojo, I own none of the pictures I'm using and please give the original post some love. It's very well done and I love this comic so much.
You can find the comic here!
And as always there are spoilers abound for the most recent update!
Now sit back, grab some water and snacks and let's do this!
So before we get started im just gonna say that the brain cell is pinging around this lot so much that I'm bound to miss some stuff. But I shall try my best to get everything I wanna say said.
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It was only some of you, captain, dont forget that.
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(Oblatory look at my blorbo picture, he's so sweet. Blorbo blorbo blorbo)
Okay I'll behave this time
(No i won't)
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I can understand the concern from the captain, as a captain from the army during a time of war secrets are dangerous. He's probably thinking if Twilight has concealed this what else has he concealed.
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And then we get snarky wars again
I missed the snarky captain, he's wonderful.
Also the line about double duty, Come on captain, you know full well that patrol is an important part of a group dynamic like this.
This also confirms that the group have had encounters with monsters outside of what we've seen. As the line from wars about missing fights implies that they've fought a bunch of stuff. But we've only really seen wolfie in a fight back in the sunset arc.
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Twilight fondly mentioning Midna, I'm so proud of him.
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These two are the goddamn brothers ever and I love them dearly. Also, the knowledge we are about to be given about how this works is very exciting.
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The brothers ever
All of them
Twilight thinking Wild had more than two brain cells. I love him. And the hug? The hug gives me life.
Also the captain, the captain is a point to talk about here. This feels like an accusatory sentence. The "You dont say?"
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Me trying to figure out how time travel works in LU.
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Legend, why are you so grumpy about this? Like he looks angry to hear this.
Four thinking about the implications of this sentence. I can literally hear the brain cell bouncing as it pings from hero to hero as they try to figure out this time travel thing.
Wind is a small bean as well look at him. The youngest I love the eyes.
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Ahh, so thats the explanation. A spirit wolf that helped guide him on his journey which he trusted so much that he thought that the wolf he saw here was just another spirit until twi changed in front of him.
But this line from him is so sad. "Right after my resurrection" and "we both would have known the grave." This feels like as a person wild is at peace with it but doesn't want others to have to go through what he did. He's a chill dude and i love him for that to be honest.
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Meanwhile, my blorbo Sky is out here trying to get actual work done. This is 10/10 the sksw dousing experience if you've not played it. You just swing the sword around while it pings at you until you eventually find what you are looking for.
Fi is trying her best.
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Lads all of you need to remember that not all of you have had things that perform transformation magic. Im surprised (But also not surprised) That Time doesn't have anything to say about this. Like my man has used a tone of different transformation masks that change him into various different things and has one that turns him into a god.
The magic users ganging up on the non-magic users, like please behave.
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Ahh Time, Time is the disappointed old man that has to coral a bunch of kids. And Wild is like the most kid of them all. (Tell me why I'd love to know! :D) (Which makes sense if we take LU to be at most a few months after the end of his game. Wild would be 18 at most.)
the sort of conversation you dont want to involve yourself in Time trust me on this one.
JUST SOME GUY WILD JUST DESTROYED TWILIGHT OKAY RIP
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Feels bad for twi man he earned that title and to have it reduced to just some guy.
Wild is gonna get told off by Time if he ain't careful, that's his blood descendant right there and we all know he has a soft spot for him.
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This is important, because I'm pretty sure most of them did at one point.
Another thing that appears to be a constant amongst the team is the need to conceal an identity. Either from them or them to others.
I'm not versed in all of their games so I can't go into full details but these guys ain't the only ones. Pretty much all of them have. The spirit of courage does love secrets, doesn't it?
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Thats my blorbo and he's so sad help he
Blorbo blorbo blorbo
Give him a hug and reboot Fi and it'll be fine.
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To echo the words of Time.
Curious.
Now this depends on what exactly Sky was dousing, was he dousing the portal, the helmet outside the portal? The postman even?
My money is on the helmet outside the portal, so that Dink came back into this timeline to retrieve it before leaving. But I may be incorrect on that account because Fi is able to track people as well as objects (Sksw would often have you tracking Zelda directly)
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OHHHH
I was wondering how they were going to do it. But with Twilight able to track it they'll be able to use a combination of dousing and him sniffing out Dink's scent to be able to find him no matter where he might be.
It's so distinct, twilight you know by saying that you're gonna have some of these guys asking questions. Just wait for the next campfire story time it's gonna come up.
I can see Wind and Twilight having a conversation like this.
"What does Dink smell like?" "What?" "You heard me."
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Oh he's so excited look at him!
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Oh four.
I wonder if we are gonna have a four and Twilight conversation about this, with four's past he's understandably worried about the use of dark magic in one of his friends.
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Oh come on legend lighten up, the child has never seen something like this before.
I'm glad Hyrule is coming in for his defence and all but 5 minutes ago Hyrule you were with Legend and saying to Wild that there's a load of items that do it.
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Why is wind just so wonderful?
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Look at him go!
Thats gotta be Wind, He's been so excited about this I can't see it being anyone else.
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Bark Bark!
Wolfie beloved.
Im here for more brotherly content from the team, they are wonderful.
Now lets go find us a Lizard, or iron knuckle or whatever he transforms into next.
And thats all from me! I loved this update and there was so much to unpack I know I've missed stuff! But I hope you enjoyed it! :)
(Also apologies for spelling mistakes I'm sick rn but wanted to get this done)
Have a great day!
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anotherwriternamedclara · 4 months ago
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✦ . admiring from afar . #00 – prologue.
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prev | mlist | next chapter summary: a little introduction to your little life as a jujutsu sorcerer, as well as your not-so-little crush on toge inumaki. word count: 523
things weren’t quite normal. of course, things were never quite normal once you were a jujutsu sorcerer.
suddenly all aspects of life were turned upside down - even the way you died wasn’t normal. if no one killed you with cursed energy, then chances were you’d end up a curse. you would turn into something to tick off another sorcerer’s list, another curse to exorcise.
life itself? it consisted of training to exorcise curses and then exorcising curses, with barely anything in between. some days you’re with a companion, which makes it good if it’s with megumi or nobara because they're bearable but bad with yuji because he never shuts up (just kidding - you knew you loved the dude). other days it’s up to you to face the curse alone, which makes it bad because you’ve never been the courageous type and curses just seem easier to handle with others.
and love? sure, platonic love was everywhere in jujutsu high - you can’t help but feel a little fond of everyone. even your professor, satoru gojo, was someone you deeply cared about, despite him talking a lot and teaching even less (not that you were complaining - that man could actually teach when he wanted). but romantic love? it was extremely rare to find a sorcerer romantically involved with someone. yuji did have a soft spot for jennifer lawrence, but it wasn’t as if she would suddenly appear and give him a kiss or something. megumi seemed too “busy” for romance (what was he even busy with? studying? training?). and nobara would just “fight off the feelings with a bit of shopping,” or so she said.
but you? your heart couldn't help but race a little whenever you met the second years. you grinned at maki, fist bumped panda, mourned the fact that yuta wasn't around, and stole a glance at inumaki, which only made your heart race faster. 
it was common knowledge among the first years of your “very obvious” crush on inumaki. nobara had known once she had seen how you looked at him; megumi had known since you told him (nobara was sick of being the only person who knew); yuji had known since nobara and megumi had told him, being so sick of his complete density.
“y/n!” a grinning yuji greeted you one evening, after a short sparring session with the second years. “you didn’t tell me you liked inumaki!”
you gave a death stare to both nobara and megumi, who stood behind the pink-haired boy – nobara with a sheepish sort of smile and megumi with a shrug. you wanted to punch them both, but held back with a sarcastically sweet smile. “and? you didn’t think it was obvious?”
“well, n–” yuji's sentence was interrupted by megumi, with a(n affectionate) punch to the pink-haired boy's head.
“he figured it out,” megumi said, with a slight upward twitch of his lips.
“it was really obvious,” yuuji said helpfully, rubbing his head. “after remembering how you always go heart eyed around the second years–”
you glared at the trio of them. “ssssh!”
so now your classmates knew about your little crush. and what were you going to do about it?
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extra notes:
yn is a first year sorcerer along with yuji, nobara, and megumi (obviously)
as of this chapter, they are still quite new to the school. new enough to not have gotten extremely close to the 2nd years yet, but old enough to know the ins and outs of jujutsu sorcery (like the when you die you become a curse bit)
how did nobara know about yn x inumaki? she noticed yn sneaking glances at inumaki in the cafeteria - probably because that was the only time his collar was open, and yn needed to appreciate his beautiful face more (or so nobara said)
a/n: im literally just writing wherever the wind takes me rn, as i'm not sure what to do with the plot and how to continue this LMAO- i just have one very specific scene i want to write. but i dont know how to get there, so it'll be a while. i do hope you guys enjoy this one tho! 💗 stay safe ily all
comment to be added to the taglist <3 pls dont repost w/o my permission !
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bedoballoons · 1 year ago
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hii !! i was wondering if you could do a request for me. so xiao's really stressed and reader character: xiao scenario: calls him multiple times but he doesnt come, so when he actually comes, he complains and makes the reader cry and leave him. genre: angst (if you can, can you add fluff in the end where xiao apologizes? its fine if you dont !!) i was craving for some angst and at the end some fluff because i need more fluff i swear im going insane because of angst its fine if you dont do this, but if you do, i would really appreciate it !!
Of course I can write a request for you!! I won't lie though...I thought this was a smut request at first 😭 forgive my dirty mind. Anyway, thank you for your request and I hope you enjoy!
─⊰⁠⊹ฺ❄️𝔾𝕖𝕟𝕤𝕙𝕚𝕟 ℍ𝕖𝕒𝕕𝕔𝕒𝕟𝕠𝕟𝕤⊰⁠⊹ฺ❄️
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Xiao X Reader
{༻~You didn't show up...~༺}
CW: GN! Reader! Angst to fluff, some yelling and a worried reader, apologies at the end!
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𑁍༄Xiao:
You sighed anxiously, looking at the clock...you'd already called three times and Xiao was still no where to be seen. You knew he was probably busy, but he'd always said he'd answer your call...just say his name and he'd appear...so why wasn't he? You tried not to think the worst...but considering he was the last remaining Yaksha, the rest all dying in such horrible ways...it wasn't hard to start worrying about him.
What if his karmic debt had caught up to him? What if he'd met a foe even he couldn't beat? What if he'd been injured badly...and couldn't make it to you?
You bit your lip, feeling your heart start to race with fear, what would you even do? Go to Zhongli? The other adeptus?? Panick began to set in, his name slipping from your lips over and over, "Xiaooo! Xiao!" He had to answer, if he didn't you'd have to go find someone and ask for help...that was the plan, "Xia-"
You paused mid sentence as he suddenly appeared in front of you, the soft teal glow of his powers fading away to reveal that he was okay and in truth, it was like seeing a angel, relief washing over you in waves. "Oh my gosh, there you are I was so worried, I thought youd-"
"Enough. Stop calling me, you aren't in danger, there's no one attacking you and I'm tired of hearing your insistent voice in my head. I'm trying to protect Liyue as I'm supposed to, accomplish what I must everyday and I don't need you bothering me while I do so." He shot you a glare...and watched as the emotions painted on your features went dark, your relieved smile wiped away. He knew it was harsh, he knew what he said was wrong...he loved your voice, he loved knowing he had someone at home...hoping he was okay...worrying about him. Hed, just gotten a little too stressed.
"I-im sorry...I was worried something had happened to you...I'm sorry." You felt your chest getting tighter as you tried to hold back your tears, but they fell anyway...rolling down your cheeks as Xiao watched you...guilt already bubbling in his stomach. "Wait...I didn't mean to-"
You stepped away from him, wishing you hadn't been such a nuisance...and before you knew it, you were running, out the door...across the fields. Running until you felt tired...and alone enough to cry in peace, or so you thought. Somehow you'd forgotten he could simply appear next to you, you could run as far as you'd like and he'd be there in seconds...even when you didn't want him to.
"Xiao, I'm sor-"
"Don't apologize when you have nothing to apologize for. You were just worried and I overreacted...I should never have raised my voice at you, talked to you the way that I did. I'm sorry. It will never happen again."
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ଘ(੭*ˊᵕˋ)੭* ੈ♡‧₊˚~Have a nice day!~*⁠.⁠✧
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firesnap · 1 year ago
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i have a genuine question. i promise i am not at all trying to defend him. ive dropped him entirely, literally deleted everything i had of him and unliked his songs.
ive just been wondering like considering that he has been in therapy, and also considering how if he does take a year off and then comes back, why cant it be redeemable? like cant people change? cant we give them second chances? he is 27. is he just doomed to be an abuser forever?
its just scary and im asking as like a younger person who is in my very early 20s. i know ive made mistakes. i know ive not been a good partner or friend sometimes. (and yes i was also abusive to a past partner...im not proud of it and ive learned from it. i have never ever touched anyone in that way after that. it took awhile but my current relationship isnt toxic and i would never hurt anyone or hit them again yknow?) and it scares me that people keep insinuating that he is irredeemable. like cant abusers change and become better? dont they get second chances? if shelby has grown and healed in 10 months wouldn't it be fair to say the same for wilbur?
im just genuinely asking because based on everything i believe you are older than me and im looking for guidance and just...idk im scared. growing up on the internet has made me so scared of making mistakes and doing anything wrong because when it happens to others i look up to, its always treated as something they'll never be able to change or improve. makes me feel like imma just be a horrible person forever because i made mistakes in the past.
This is a really complicated question that multiple answers can validly fit.
I don't think, personally, that anyone is irredeemable. I think everyone is on a journey of forgiveness and some of us may need more grace than others.
This is tw// abuse even more than the current topic, but my mom was incredibly abusive. We lived in a very rural area and she had a lot of undiagnosed problems and trauma of her own that created a pressure pot of issues. After I was born, she suffered through full on post-partum psychosis that nearly ended about as well as that sentence implies it could have. She was incredibly violent, controlling, and cruel for years. My sister went no-contact with her the second she turned 18. A significant event occurred that eventually spurned her into seeking real treatment that lasted for years. It's still ongoing.
My sister is also still no contact and I support her decision 100%. Those are her wounds and what she needed to do to get peace should be respected. I decided I wanted a relationship with the person who came out of all that work and, even then, it's been hard. I don't know if she's redeemed herself, and my god do we still have bumps in the road, but I support her for trying.
With Wilbur, how he responds to this is going to really impact a lot of things. I mean, I know no matter how he responds I won't be going on whatever journey of redemption and healing he has to go through. I'm tired and I feel hurt enough. I would think, if he wanted to show he was sincere, admitting what happened would be a great sense of closure for a lot of people who put time and energy and faith into this guy for years.
Not every person that causes harm is inherently evil, but there has to be some kind of knowledge that you're aware of the harm you've caused. No one is stuck as anything forever, life is constantly moving, and most people aren't saying his life is just over. You can work on yourself. You can change. And I'm saying that specifically to you, anonymous.
(Saying this, actually, there ARE people who would argue once you've done x you're beyond redemption based entirely on their life experiences as a victim, personal histories and many other factors. Kinda like my sister, that's their choice. And you have to accept that sometimes you fuck up so badly that you will permanently lose some people from your life. But your life isn't over.)
But I do think, regardless of what he says or does about this, his time of controlling a large platform is at an end. He can still do a lot of things in his life after he works on himself -- editing, song producing, directing, writing or whatever -- but being in charge of a large impressionable audience that could enable more destructive behaviors is just not it.
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weirdmageddon · 4 months ago
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man i shouldve restricted my replies a long time ago. why didnt i do this sooner. so many people on here take whatever i say in the worst faith way imaginable.
it says more about them than it does about me because what i speak and share is always made in 100% in honest good faith and if theyre projecting some weird way of interpreting it on me, thats not my way of thinking. you can’t put that on me.
im basically used to it by now. it follows me everywhere because i am radically autistically honest by default and i can’t turn it off that’s just who i am. my friend calls me “the control group” of people lol*
but i hate how it makes me disinclined to even want to share anything because of how bad faith people take what i have to say like i have some sort of agenda. bitch no im just sharing the underlying forces i’ve have come to notice through my observations. why do people assume hostile intentions from me when i’m just stating observations.
i’m like that “i like waffles” “so you dont like pancakes?” “no bitch thats a whole new sentence wtf are you talking about” tweet with folks on here if i don’t restrict my replies. what’s wrong with you all like actually
* i’m actually serious too, these are traits i score far on the upper end of the statistical bell curve compared to the average person (depicted by the number of marks below it). now imagine this combination in your brain, construct a type of person. can you see why bad faith arguments at me make me not even want to try
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tldr: the story of how i figured out im gay and why i relate to byler so much. aka why its good rep
this was not supposed to be this long
my best friend doesnt like stranger things bc she thinks the metaphorical texture of the show is gross feeling(valid) but she follows me on here and has had to block the byler tag bc its all i post about these days and shes not into it.
anyways it made me think about why i love byler so much and it definitely has to do with the fact that as a queer person i relate super heavily to their story. being gay is way more acceptable now and i was born in 07 so its not like its was considered a death sentence to be gay in general. however i grew up in the classical church. my mom was part of a religious cult in highschool and i was my parents first kid and they were super protective of me. Im also autistic and i spent most of my childhood very worried about doing and acting the right way to make people accept me. my parents favorite story to tell people about my childhood is that when i finally graduated my crib and got a toddler bed they were worried that i would never let them sleep again. that didnt happen tho, in fact i refused to get out of bed with out express permission and would lay there until they came told me i could get up.
id like to say that i was homophobic growing up but not in the traditional sense. it was more that i was actually afraid of gay people. No one around me ever really said anything blatantly homophobic or had radical ideas about the subject but we were so deep into the church and i was always afraid of everything. when i was in elementary school we would do drills. call and response cult like stuff. theyd ask us to define sin and wed spout off this memorized line about going agaisnt gods will in action or thought or intention. i didnt even know what a gay meant until i got to middle school and the entire idea terrified me. because thats not allowed and when someone brings it up all the adults get that one look on their face and the pastor says that homosexuality is a sin or wtv.
i had this one friend, lets call her jane, at the time. i really liked her but she was kind of a delinquent, she didnt have the best home life and she was kind if an angry kid so when she came out to our friend group as bisexual in i think 7th grade, we (the rest of the group was v religious ) were concerned about it but not really surprised. we werent supportive but we werent angry either. it was more like we werent sure what to do. she had always been a problem child so it didnt seem to out of the blue for someone like her to like girls so we just kind of tried not to talk about it again.
I was a pretty big drama kid at the time( still am) (i swear i have a point to this) and i became friends with this one girl. lets call her belle. anyways i reallllyyyy liked belle i dont think i had a crush on her but i thought she was really cool and fun and liked hanging around her. we werent really close much to my past and present dismay but when i did hang out with her i always had a fun time. a few years later she told me that she was bisexual. this pretty much broke my little brain. because belle was cool and fun and normal and it was the first time when i realized that maybe there was something wrong with the way my church worked. they had to be wrong because there was no way belle was evil and going to hell. i loved being friends with her and i couldn't accept the fact that her liking girls changed anything. she still felt like the same person. still the topic was terrifying to me, i was so afraid that i was wrong or maybe just not smart enough to see the truth. so many people around me that i grew up being told knew what was right, knew what god was telling us said that it was wrong so maybe i just didnt get it. maybe i wasnt close enough to god to understand what made gay people so bad. still something changed from then and the next year i ended up being close to this girl, lets call her beth, (all my other friends had either moved on or were on different sides of our grade and tbh i was terrified of her but i had no one else). Anyways beth also had a crazy homelife she talked a lot about how she hated her family and how she would kill her dad if she could. she also ate highlighters, just drew on her tongue, and sold pictures of her feet on instagram to make money. needless to say as soon as i hit highschool i never spoke to her again, she freaked me out. anyway one day me and beth were walking at recess and she turns to me and tells me that im gay. i knew she was pan at this point and i didnt really care though looking back on it she was definitely flirting with me. I got freaked out and told her there was no way i was gay and assumed that she just wanted me to like her back but id had a crush on a guy before so i couldnt be gay.
speaking of this guy, he sat next to belle in my science class in 6th grade. i sat behind them and they were good friends. we were sort of a trio in that class and i thought he was really nice and funny. he was the first guy id ever been friends with and i assumed that the fact that i enjoyed hanging out with him and having fun meant that i must have a crush on him. because girls and boys cant just be friends. thats what everyone always said at least. one day we were texting and he told me that he liked me and wanted to go out. i csnt describe the feeling i got then. it was this werid mix of anxiety and fear and knowing that i should be excited but instead i was disappointed. and i didnt know why. i told him i wasnt allowed to date til 16 and if he still wanted me then whe could date then. i cried about it for almost a year. which doesnt make any sense because i rejected him not the other way around. but i felt heartbroken. im still not really sure why.
when beth told me i was gay i p much told her to f off in the most good christian way possible but i still thought about it. the idea felt so overwhelming and i couldnt think about it without wanting to have a panic attack so i stopped thinking about it. then i had a gay dream about jane and honestly i should have figured it out then but somehow i completely disregarded.
i changed schools for high school so i was with a lot of new people. i wanted a fresh start. at the time i felt like id been pretending to be someone else for my whole life and i hoped that starting over would help me find myself or something. I always sort of knew i was different from other kids i never felt like we had much in common or something but i could never put a finger of what it was (it was the autism). when i started highschool my main goal was to make friends on my own and conquer my social anxiety when had been crippling throughout middle and elementary. i ended up meeting this girl, lets call her cassie, (so many people ikik) and we became super close. she had a lot of issues as well bc apparently i attract unstable people. she was by far the worst id dealt with though. she was suicidal, ocd, anorexic and hurt her self a lot. it was a very codependent friendship but we were attached at the hip. she was my whole world at the time, nothing else really mattered more than her not killing herself. one day we were texting after midnight and she told me that she thought she might be bisexual and i told her a didnt care. i really didnt care i was more worried about her killing herself. she said she had a crush on someone but wouldnt tell me who and i let the topic die.
then heartstopper came out on netflix and i got DEAD sick. i couldnt even speak. it was very bad. anyways i had a computer at this point and was looking for something to watch. i settled on heartstopper because id heard so many good things about it and i was morbidly( at the time) curious. i watched the entire show in one sitting. i was scared my mom would find out and when she did find out she gave me this hesitant look and said she didnt love the idea of me watching that kind of stuff. i watched it anyways. i was mesmerized dude. the scene of nick nelson in his bedroom, on the verge of tears searching the internet for anwsers was so powerful to me and it was like something clicked in my brain.
what if i am gay??
id never let myself actually ask mysrlf that before. id never dared to even think it was a possibility because of course im straight. id know if i liked girls. but i sat there dead sick and dying slowly and looked over at my book case at all my favorite books. i looked up on youtube how to tell if your bisexual (bc ofc i like guys duh) and it said something about thinking about how you feel about fictional characters and i sat and i thought. it was a very overwhelming week. i thought back to middle school and the strange possessiveness i had over my best friend at the time, the feeling of hurt i always seemed to have when she hung out with someone else. i hated that part of myself. i felt validated in my feelings at the time but i never knew why i felt that way and it felt unfair to her.
at the time i was talking to a guy. he was nice and pretty chill but i sort of knew i didnt like him the way he liked me. i wanted to though. i wanted to like him so freaking badly. so i kept taking to him. id be on the phone with him for 5 hours just talking about nothing and tell myself that this was what its like to like someone. it wasnt a bad experience, he was nice and i liked to talk to him. but i didnt have feelings for him. one night i texted cassie back and told her that maybe i was bi too. she was from a christian household too and we talked for a while one what we should do.
my parents have always had this policy of being honest with each other when sometbing happens in our lives. which i think is pretty normal but my autistic ahh took it very seriously. almost as soon as i started questioning i told them. bad idea, was not ready. i was so scared that somehow theyd look at me and figure out that i was thinking about it, and that theyd be mad that i didnt talk to them about it. i said it at dinner and there was legit forks dropped. my mom took me on a 2 hour long walk to try and explain myself which was HELL because i couldnt even understand what was going on.
"why do you think you like girls??"
"idk"
they eventually dropped the subject.
soon after that me and cassies relationship started to get werid. after being so codependent for so long we had thsi strange sort of toxic need for each other to be sane or something. she confessed that she had a crush on me and i really wasnt sure how to feel about it. she was so important to me and the trauma and confusion and drama of our friendship got all jumbled in my head and we fell into some sort of homo romantic something. we never did anything besides holding hands a few times, but we did that before either of us came out anyways. we went to summer camp summer after freshmen year and shit really hit the fan and we ended up having a friendship breakup. she told me afterwards that she was a devoted christian now, that god had saved her from herself and that now she was straight. i was really lost the rest of that summer. i wasnt sure what to do at all, who i was or what i was supposed to do now that i left the person i had dedicated the past year of my life and my mental health too. i was really suicidal for a few months after that but slowly i got better.
second semester of sophomore year i had my first real crush on one of my close friends at the time. she was straight which sucked but those 6 months of my life were some of the most terrible exhilarating experiences of my life. thats how i knew i wasnt wrong. bc theres no heterosexual option for wanting to make out with a girl in a dirty school bathroom stall.
it was hard though, being in love with someone you know will never feel that way about you. even if at the time i had mostly gotten over the majority of my internalized homophobia theres still that feeling of guilt. you feel so gross and creepy and unwanted. this person doesnt want you, they dont even want your gender but you cant let it go. its a very lonely feeling.
it was around the same time that i figured out that i was a lesbian. after i felt what it was like to like someone, really like someone. to be able to identify that feeling as romantic feelings, it was pretty obvious that i didnt like guys. i felt really bad about the guy i was talking too. he had no idea and id just heen leading him on for almost a year. i felt super shitty about it.
idk if that was coherent but i guess thats why i love byler so much. it feels so raw and real to me. i watch the van scene and i see myself. i see how hard it was and how much i hated myself and wanted so badly to be normal and to be able to talk about boys with my friends without feeling uncomfortable. i see the way mike is with el and i see myself with that boy from middle school. so desperate for affection and so so confused. this feeling of guilt and regret, the heartbreak of loosing someone that you couldve had but you dont want. i want to want it but i dont and its so heartbreaking.
i almost think its a worse feeling that being broken up with. i fell in love with a girl recently and she ended up ending things. i was super upset about it cried for a long time. but still. its not the same hurt. it hurts but its not the same deep primal hurt. sitting on my bathroom floor at 13 years old sobbing my eyes out because im not with a boy that i rejected. wishing that things were different but not wanting to actually change. i broke my own heart and i didnt even mean too
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heartofwolfe · 5 months ago
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Whole reason i made a new blog Can i get a word about eurylochus. Im sure other people have said it but if so then ill gladly add on the noise. I dont think hes as hypocritical and bad as some people have made him out to be? And i want to go over his crimes one by one, to bring them to a less exaggerated ground.
"He was going to abandon those men in Circe's island, therefore he had no right rebelling against Odysseus after Scylla."
I need us all to review both situations for a second. With Circe, Eurylochus witnessed what she's capable of, he KNEW Odysseus wouldn't be able to take her. Between losing his captain (and KING) and "cut their losses", it was probably logical for him to leave those men behind in place of losing any more lives or Odysseus himself. Had he known Hermes would show up to help, I'm sure he wouldn't have been so adamant on leaving. He's the voice of the crew, after all.
But Scylla? Odysseus withheld the information of what they were going to encounter in that lair. Odysseus deliberately made him light up torches (one of which would've been for HIM) that would sentence the 6 men that'd carry them. Of course, upon realizing this was his plan, he'd be mad. And we have to realize the rest of the crew are just as sentient as Eurylochus: Seeing their king give up 6 lives like they're nothing for the sake of getting home to his wife... how do they know they won't be next? The 3 men at Circe could've left like Eurylochus did, it was a slip, but Scylla was a choice. (A choice I think was the best outcome! Im not coming for Odysseus here, and I acknowledge and agree it was probably the safest way to get through Scylla. But it doesn't negate the feelings of the crew).
"He opened the wind bag and it got over 500 men killed! With that body count, he was still hypocrital to critisize Odysseus for sacrificing 6 men to Scylla"
I mean, yeah, if we leave it at that. Why don't we ask Poseidon what would've happened to Ithaca if they arrived at the shore instead of being sent to him directly?
Yes, opening the bag is breaking Odysseus' trust. He did wrong at this. But if we are gonna get nitpicky, Odysseus shouldn't have revealed his name to the Cyclops at all— Or just kill him, like Poseidon and Athena told him he should've done. I think they're both at fault for this, and even then, killing his fleet over the entirety of Ithaca is probably the best outcome somehow.
But like, overall, I just don't think we can use the 500 men excuse to throw bricks at this man. No one, not even Odysseus, realized they pissed off Poseidon by hurting Polyphemus and that's where the storm was coming. It's just cruel and it is very obvious it weighted not only on Odysseus but on Eurylochus as well.
"He killed Helios' cow despite Odysseus warning! And then got mad at Odysseus when he didn't sacrifice himself for the crew?"
I feel like he is a little unfair for getting mad at the end, but it is also just very human. We can think of it logically because it is a story we are witnessing, but most if not all of us would've lashed out and felt betrayed if our lives ended because our closest friend (and person that was supposed to look out for us) needed to see their lover.
And the cow... I need you guys to put yourself in his shoes again. Eurylochus didn't believe they'd make it home, he had given up on life, he couldn't trust his brother in arms to bring him home alive anymore. And hunger is so heavy (sorry). Between dying of starvation or drowned by Poseidon, and dying swiftly by divine intervention for pissing off Helios, he probably didn't care (and, like, if he didn't do it someone else in the crew would've. Is the thing.)
I actually think it's such a well done thing, the way he kills the cow because he gave up but deep down doesn't actually want to die— Which is why he gets desperate and seeks for Odysseus' guidance once again when he realizes what he's done. The cow is probably the hardest thing to defend from him, but i think it is so human. And so tragic.
And I need to clarify again— This isn't against Odysseus! I think he makes so many mistakes and is so selfish but also human in a way, I can see where every character is coming from in this musical. And the Odyssey is about a man losing his humanity in a journey back home, so his actions have to be. Bad. But there's a treatment of this characters that ends up coming off as a disservice to each of them. Using Eurylochus as a scapegoat to make Odysseus look better just feels like missing the point of both and their complexities to me. Cause even after defending Eurylochus here, none of these actions are entirely justifiable! He IS hypocritical and selfish as well, and maybe a bit cruel at times. But he's not the root of all evil. If he were, Odysseus wouldn't be the lead.
This post is pretty over the place, so I apologize!it isn't meant to be read as an essay or anything too serious despite the tone that might come off of it. I'm just mostly voicing my thoughts about these characters re: some takes I've seen here and there in other platforms that I can't go too much in detail about. Would love to hear other thoughts, agreeing or disagreeing, although i might not respond too in detail. Also please befriend me i need friends into epic LOL
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