#i actually did dream i was a unicorn once

[chrissdollie]

OMG CHRIS MAKING A TIKTOK WITH YN ASLEEP ON HIS CHEST W THE TEXT "my daily yapping session" AND ITS THE LAST NIGHT I DREAMED I WAS A BOTTLE OF KETCHUP SOUND

lolll i had someone req something like this before

the camera is on you, chris grinning as he records you with the silly audio. you’re snuggled into his chest comfortably and you’re snoring lightly. the video finishes and chris posts it to his account with the caption “my daily yapping session”

about an hour later, you’re awake and you see that he’s posted. you watch the video and like it immediately, a smile coming to your face. you go into the comments and type out “erm actually i dreamed i was a unicorn 😵‍💫”

chris likes the comment and replies, “i dreamed i was a burger”

[elysianightsss]

Pen Pal Price Part Two🫧🍑

nsfw ahead so I’ll cut it off at that point…reader is also described as chubby below because I am so they are too lol.

-

His voice startles you to the point where you visibly flinch, it’s nothing like how you imagined it to be. First of all, you didn’t know he was British. The accent that wraps around his words so sharply is one you recognise but can’t quite put your finger on in this moment.

His voice is deep, rumbles out somewhere from within his chest. It vibrates through the phone and through you. For him your honeyed voice drips into him like the sweetest summer wine.

“Sound so pretty.” You hear him mutter, barely a whisper but definitely something he was trying to hide. Your cheeks burn as you blush hard, your bottom lip caught between your teeth while you think of what to say to the man you’ve been writing to for weeks on end.

So many words exchanged and yet now you’re at a loss. Can’t think properly, it begs the question; how will you react when you meet in person?

“I haven’t got long, I guess now’s the time I tell you what I do for a living.” He chuckles lightly and you wish you could see his face while he does.

“Sounds intriguing.” You frown though your face is still smile stricken.

“Oh you bet it is love. Very dangerous, rough. I don’t think you’d want to hear about it.”

“Excuse me good sir, I live for danger. Did I not tell you how I dangerously painted the spare bedroom the other day? Though I don’t think it went well.” You joked looking over at the room that was half done and had paint streaks pointing in all different directions.

“Are you doubting your mad painting skills?” Your heart soared at the joke, at his laugh, just all of this. Being able to speak to him properly, being able to communicate more easily without waiting a whole week for his response to arrive by post. Shifting through the mail everyday desperate to read his words. You hadn’t felt this happy in years.

“Maybe just a little.” There’s a pause, and you think you hear some background chatter, something about unit leaving and someone definitely says captain, “maybe you could help me?”

“I definitely will.” He doesn’t hesitate with his answer, it’s so sure and so final. It says a lot about him. You’re desperate to know more. “I’m sorry love, I’ve got to go. I’ll call you tomorrow? Same time?”

And he does, you lunge for the phone practically jumping through the air to answer him. You chat about useless things, have silly little conversations about everyday life. There are days when you think it’s his day off work, those days he stays on the phone to you for hours. Those days are your favourite.

He tells you about the new book he got and even reads you a few chapters while you cook dinner, he makes you promise to cook him a meal sometime. You don’t hesitate to agree.

Again he loves the domesticity of it all, how prefect you are in his eyes, though his ocean blues haven’t actually seen you yet. What a perfect little wife you would make. He knows it’s far too soon to think about things like that but he cannot help himself.

The way you fly away with yourself, talking about what you’re doing that day or joking about something you saw on tv or giggling about the cupcakes you were making because the icing went wrong making what you piped look like pigs instead of the unicorns you were going for, for you niece’s birthday party.

He listens with his eyes closed, dreaming of the day he comes back from deployment. The day he comes back to you, to home smelling of freshly baked goods. His pretty lady waiting for him all smiles and giggles. He wishes.

“Um..” you pause unsure, wondering what if he says no.

“What is it love?” He asks so worried. So ready to fix any problem you throw his why. Once again though you hesitate and once more he encourages you, “Come on pretty lady, tell me. What’s up?” You let the nickname you’ve reprimanded him about numerous times slide with what you’re about to ask.

“D-Did you want t-to video call?” He grins at how fucking adorable you are. The way you stutter just asking a simple question like that. He bites back a groan at the way he stiffens in his trousers. Dirty old man.

“I would love to.” He of course then had to explain he had a flip phone. You laughed hard at him and said he would need a smartphone. You had no idea he would go and buy one just to video call you with. Another thing you reprimand him for, spending his hard earned money so easily like that. His little lady nagging him, and all he does is smile at the sound. He loves it.

Your heart hammers in your chest as the phone rings. A lot like the first time he called you. You had talked him through the set up and helped him understand what an app is and how to call on text on a smart phone. And finally, you told him how to video call. Which app to press, you were just explaining how it works when your phone begins to buzz with ‘John💕 is FaceTime you’ popping up on the screen. Your number of course being the first one he added.

You can’t help but feel nervous, checking you look semi okay on the screen before pressing the green answer button. Then your breath is knocked out of you so hard you actually choke, John fussing about getting some water and breathing for him goes in one ear and out the other. You can’t look away from him even as you catch your breath.

He’s nothing like you pictured and yet he’s perfect.

He looks like the kind of man you picture when you read romance novels and the kind of man that sneaks into the dreams that have you waking up hot under the collar and panties sticking to you uncomfortably. The little description of himself you asked for certainly did not do him justice.

“Hi love.”

“Hi John.”

“Fuck you’re gorgeous.” Even though you frown, you can’t stop a smile from splitting your face.

You’ve got chubbier cheeks and thicker thighs than most girls, something you’re insecure about and john can tell. But fuck you look gorgeous to him. Over the next few weeks John catches on to just how badly you feel about your body image, the way you put yourself down in favour of supermodels, the way you wear oversized clothing to cover yourself up. He finds himself grumbling, hating it each second more than the last.

He understands how badly beauty culture has fucked over women who are genuinely beautiful but are made to feel like they’re nothing. He gets it, he does. But he certainly doesn’t agree. Especially not with you. He finds himself dreaming of those squishable cheeks of yours, the way you’re so soft around the edges, he can tell.

You completely did him in last Monday, it’s the middle of winter for goodness sake, how did he know that you’d be wearing shorts when he FaceTimed you. Gym shorts that hugged your plump ass so fucking perfectly, that flashed your thick thighs to him. Christ, he’s been thinking about those pretty thighs all week long. When he’s running drills, your thighs are on his mind. When he’s planning out a mission with his unit, your thighs are on his mind. And when he’s alone at night with his hand wrapped around his swollen cock, your thighs are on his mind.

He can’t stand it anymore, it’s been agonising with how busy he’s been not calling you, not seeing you or hearing your voice. No knowing what you’ve been up to or how your day has gone. He calls and he praises the Lord above for bringing you to him, when you answer. A prayer on his lips, a beg for you to become his wife one day when you’re there smiling in the cutest silk pyjama set he’s ever seen. It hugs you exquisitely, showing off your rounded edges and all John can think about is how he can’t wait to sink his teeth into the soft flesh of your tummy.

You’re clearly fresh out the shower or bath with your damp hair and freshly wash face, but John’s never seen anything more beautiful in his life, in fact he tells you so. You haven’t felt your cheeks burn the way they did then, well maybe one other occasion.

“Love?”

“Yes John?”

“Would you like to meet me for coffee tomorrow? At that cafe you like?” He’s hopeful when he asks, you can not only hear it in his voice but see it in his face. “I’m in the area for work and have a few days where I’m free and I’d love to see you.”

You can’t recall a time in your life where all you did was smile, but since you found John, you don’t remember what not smiling all the time was like. You don’t remember anything other than how happy he makes you. So you take a breath, you muster up the courage and say yes.

“I’d love to see you too John. Just tell me what time and I’ll be there.”

[sunsetofdoom]

but I cannot come in unless you dream of me

"I would enter your sleep if I could, and guard you there, and slay the thing that hounds you, as I would if it had the courage to face me in fair daylight. But I cannot come in unless you dream of me..." -Peter S. Beagle, The Last Unicorn

-

Blitz’s knee rattled against the wobbly side of the barstool, tapping his leg compulsively as he scanned the dim bar. Everybody was fucking obnoxious, was the problem. Girls with judgy laughs, smug jocks, arrogant hipsters with their post-post-irony bullshit. Everybody copying the last trend, but really making fun of it, because they were soo over it, actually. What he wouldn’t give for Stolas’ full-throated fucking sincerity, sometimes. Maybe he was cringe, but he didn’t have the dead-eyed ‘look how cool I am’ syndrome that infested this fucking shithole like a plague.

He tapped his fingers against his phone laying facedown on the bar. If he flipped it over, he’d just have to look at the fucking weather app announcing the full moon, and the ghost of Stolas’ cancellation text lurking in his notifications.

“-and she just thinks she’s soooo,” some woman drawled, and Blitz’s eye twitched at the thought of talking to her for long enough to get his dick in her mouth and shut her the fuck up. That was a no.

“Better than workin’, though, innit,” said some guy, and Blitz leaned over, trying to figure out who. The accent was familiar. Not Stolas’, but the imps that worked for him all seemed to have that low-class, ‘allo guvnor’ shit going on. When Blitz exchanged two words with them, at least. Which he tried not to.

“You still workin’ at the Palace like your dear old Dad did, Reg?”

“Nah,” ‘Reg’ said, and Blitz caught him as he spoke- short-horned imp about Moxxie’s size, hair slicked back like he thought he was cool. Clearly dying a slow death of Hipster Prick disease. “Got to be too much for me. Pay sounded alright but there en’t enough money in the world to put up with those rich fucks.”

“Oh, tell us the good shit, Reg,” the girl at the table gushed, obviously thirsty for his shrimp dick. “Nick hasn’t heard your stories, ooh, Nick, they’re sooo funny-”

“You never came out with us,” Reg said, pointedly.

“Hard enough to when you don’t work two rings away,” Nick put in, and Blitz could have yelled at them to get on with the stupid story, because it was his only excuse not to find somebody to fuck in the nasty ass bathroom.

“Tell ‘im about the prince, Reg,” the girl begged, and Blitz slouched deliberately to look like he wasn’t listening. His nerves tingled.

“Oh, just a sad sack, it’s the wife that’s a real piece of work,” Reg said, sounding worldly and uninterested. “D’you know I once watched her smash a vase worth more than my mum’s house? Just hucked it overhand like a shot-put. Horrifying.”

Blitz filed this away. Like most mistresses, he had a looming blank space in his brain labeled The Wife, and he thought about her as little as possible with an angry, guiltless nausea.

“Why!?”

“Oh, her shit husband opened his mouth, what else?”

Stomach tying itself into a knot, Blitz reminded himself that he didn’t actually know who they were talking about. Maybe he was hallucinating Stolas in places where he wasn’t, like letting his name slip while fucking somebody else.

“Prince Stolas says the word divorce and she gets an extra health bar and a choir starts singing in Latin,” Reg continued, so there went that theory.

“This isn’t even my final form,” smirked the other fucking idiot.

“That’s, like, so derivative,” the girl snorted, and Blitz took a second to imagine shooting them, except then he wouldn’t be able to eavesdrop on horrible stories about his sad fuckbuddy.

The bartender cruised by, giving him a hard look, and Blitz flicked two fingers at him for another drink. The first one was pretty much a prop that he’d intended to ditch on his way to Bonetown, but apparently that wasn’t happening because this place was full of miserable assholes. The second would be something to nurse while he tracked this stupid conversation. Blitz took a drink. He tried not to drink when he was pissed off. This felt like a special fucking occasion.

“What was the worst, Reg?” 

“Oh, fuck’s sake,” Reg sighed, leaning back in his chair until two legs were off the ground, and Blitz wanted to shove him over. “Gotta be- right, I come in when I’m s’pose to, end of the night, clean up after the gentry are in bed, except this one’s on the bloody floor, right? Demon prince dead drunk on the fancy rug. So I scarper.”

The other guy cracked up, booing him and throwing a crumpled-up napkin. “Coward!”

“Oi! Shut up! I was right to! The wife comes in screamin’ her bloody head off about what a fuckup he is, winds up, kicks him in the stomach-”

Blitz choked on his drink. He swallowed frantically, eyes watering.

“-and what’s he do, cover his head? No! Rolls over and throws up everywhere, she’s still screaming bloody murder, only thing out of his plastered mouth is not to let the kid hear, she smashes a vase next to his head and leaves. And there’s me behind the curtains, stuck there until he peels all ten miles of himself up off the floor and fucks off, and I have to clean up the sick and all the bloody shards-”

The other two ghouls at the table with him were fucking laughing, and Blitz hadn’t come with his usual kit but he wasn’t unarmed, either; he could throw his knife and give this little dickhead some new holes to fuck. He toyed with it, but what would be the point. Instead, he took another drink, trying to wash down the taste of bile at the back of his throat.

“Really. Surprised the miserable fuck hasn’t slit his wrists in his fancy fucking bathtub,” Reg shuddered mockingly. “I en’t gonna be cleaning it up when he does.”

“Good on you for quitting, Reg.”

“Oh, I didn’t quit. Got caught stealing the silver.”

And then they were laughing again. Blitz chugged his drink and tried to drown them out.

They stopped talking about Stolas after that, even though Blitz listened in on them long enough to want to blow their fucking brains out. Or maybe his. Somebody’s. Drink number three went down numbly, and then the group of fucking idiots left. Blitz stayed hunched over at the bar, drinking more than he’d planned to because it was better than thinking. He brushed off the couple of people who tried to talk to him, because his dick was so out of commission it may as well have been in another universe.

A notification on his phone snapped him out of the tunnel-vision haze, and it wasn’t anything, some fucking app trying to get him to open it; but it pulled up the fucking weather app with its little moon icon, which he stared at for a solid minute before opening the rideshare one, because he definitely wasn’t okay to drive home.

The guy’s car pulled up in the parking lot, and Blitz shook his coat to make sure he still had his keys (he’d get the van in the morning, or better yet make Moxxie do it) and got in. “There’s a puke bucket back there if you need it,” the guy said, and then proceeded to ignore him for the twenty minute drive.

That was fine by Blitz, who was still silently processing. Half-formed thought glopped around in his mostly-drunk brain like a lava lamp, putting disparate images together. Stolas, quietly uncomfortable as he stated one of his only limits was being hit in the face. Stolas, cringing and apologizing over and over with a rictus grin. My knight in shining armor, come to rescue me! That empty fucking house. Wine bottles stashed in weird places, the bedroom, the bathroom. Stolas sinking into the pretense of affection in Blitz’s subpar aftercare with starved desperation.

It’s like drowning, Stolas had said once, nonsensically, stuck in a subspace haze. Not just once, actually. Over and over, rolling it around. Feels like drowning. Like drowning.

C’mere and lemme give you mouth-to-mouth, then, Blitz had leered at the time, which made Stolas do that high-as-balls giggle that reached into Blitz’s chest and twanged a discordant note on his out-of-tune heartstrings.

At home, he hung up his keys and paced back and forth in front of the couch a couple times, tail lashing, full of manic energy that had nowhere to go. He flipped his phone over and over in his hands, tossing it in the air and catching it, seeing how many times he could do it before it fell. He wasn’t stupid, the juggling game was an excuse to keep him from opening the fucking thing, from making whatever stupid decision was lurking in his impulse-ridden brain.

Giving up, Blitz took off his coat and threw it in the general direction of the chair, tugging off his shirt and pants until he flopped down face first on the couch, took his horns in his hands, and groaned.

Not letting himself think about it long enough to realize it was a bad idea, Blitz grabbed for his phone, opened it, and texted Stolas.

u ok?

He slammed it facedown on the cushions, face heating up. Stupid. Stupid. Fucking stupid idiot. He made a policy of not texting first. He was gonna get back three six-paragraph texts that would take forever to decipher and when he did would tell him nothing except that Stolas was a double-texting asshole who ate dictionaries for breakfast.

The wife wound back and kicked him- Fuck, Blitz wished he’d killed that fucking kid. Maybe then he wouldn’t feel so awful now.

His phone buzzed.

I’m perfectly hale, thank you so much for asking, Blitz. I do appreciate that. Perhaps tomorrow we could meet up for coffee and complete our requisite trade of my grimoire? You can have it back straight away, I don’t mean to keep you from your important work

Blitz squinted. He could smell the avoidance on that bird.

Thot u wre sick ?

Typing bubble. No typing bubble. Typing bubble again. Blitz gnawed on the inside of his cheek.

I was unwell this afternoon, but I feel much btter now. Thank you for thinking of me <3

It took a second, and then another message dinged:

*better.

Squinting again, Blitz looked at it hard. Stolas didn’t make typos.

Blaming it on the drinks, Blitz closed his eyes while he typed, like not seeing it would mean he wasn't really sending it.

r u lkie fr ok

He opened his eyes. Looked at it. Thunked his head down on the sofa again.

Surprised the miserable fuck hasn’t slit his wrists in his fancy fucking bathtub. Except he couldn’t, because they’d played with knives before and nothing actually broke Stolas’ unbreakable immortal shell. He was untouchable. Un-hurt-able.

Right?

Determinedly, Blitz swallowed hard and followed up. Another rule broken: No fucking double-texting.

i worie abt u smtms

He tossed his phone onto the floor, crossed his arms under his head, and tried to go the fuck to sleep.

The next morning, he got up, nursed his stupid fucking four-drink hangover because being thirty-five sucked absolute ball sack, and got dressed for work. He didn't find his phone until he was almost fifteen minutes late, and going to be later since he'd have to walk; it had ended up wedged under the bean bag chair.

He opened it. A text message from Stolas waited there. 2am, almost an hour after he'd sent his, which was a record- Stolas usually responded instantly, like he had nothing better to do than wait by the phone.

Everything will be okay.

Somehow, Blitz thought as he slipped his phone in his pocket, that didn't make him feel better at all.

[kumeko]

A/N: For the @gf10yearslaterzine ! I feel like after they’ve grown a bit older and living in the ‘normal’ world, it’s easy to lose sight of the magic of that one summer. Especially with the grunkles off in a boat somewhere. Maybe they’d imagined it all. Maybe magic was gone. Maybe they’re doomed to ordinary lives like the rest of us.

…

…

…

…

There are no faeries in the University of California, Berkeley.

There were no gnomes, centaurs, or unicorns either. Dipper wasn’t surprised. Most cities didn’t have magic, aliens, or supernatural creatures. The few that did had only the smallest whispers of the strange, the kind of things that were easy to overlook and miss. In the ten years since his summer at Gravity Falls, Dipper could count on one hand the shenanigans he’d fallen into.

That didn’t make his disappointment any less. He sighed as he meandered down the street, taking in the sprawling campus around him. Part of him had hoped that with its history, the university would prove different.

“There’s no faeries here either,” Mabel replied in his ear, chipper as ever. If something hadn’t changed with time, it was her overbearingly positive attitude. “I even checked Central Park—you know, they have an Alice in Wonderland area? But none of the weird things that she met. It’s like, are you even trying?”

Dipper stared blankly into the distance, his grip relaxing on his phone. It was like she’d read his mind. “Huh?”

Unfazed by his lack of response, Mabel rattled on, “Well, actually, I think I saw a wererat or something in the subway, but that might have just been a normal rat too. Apparently they can grow as big as a cat? Which actually is freakier than anything I’ve ever seen. Who’d you think would win in a fight?”

She’d always been good at filling in the silence. Even now, states apart, that hadn’t changed. Ever the social butterfly, Mabel always had something to say, whether it was gossip or a discovery or her feelings on a really niche topic that no one else knew about.

On the plus side, her monologue gave Dipper enough time to process their conversation. He must have accidentally spoken aloud. His ears flushed red with embarrassment and he rubbed his neck, even though she couldn’t see that through the screen. Chuckling awkwardly, he replied, “I guess magic just doesn’t like cities.”

“Cities?” Mabel snorted, cutting off her rant on how the commuters on the subway were the real monsters. Dipper didn’t have to see her to know her hands were moving a mile a minute, as though her entire body had to talk with every word she said. “Did we ever see magic anywhere aside from Gravity Falls? Really see, and not ‘I-think-I-saw-a-ghoul-but-it’s-midnight-and-I’m-drunk’?”

Dipper flushed a brighter red and he glanced around. Mabel’s voice was so loud, he was certain she could be heard in the next town over. Luckily, none of the other students paid him any mind, too busy trying to get from class to class to care about him. “That was one time.”

“And every other time was just as sketchy!” Mabel argued with a huff. For once, she had a point. “Seriously, though, how is just one town such a hotbed for magic?” She chuckled. “Bet you’d love to write a paper on that.”

Now it was Dipper’s turn to laugh. He lowered his voice, trying for a mysterious husky that the women in his class seemed to like. “What makes you think I haven’t?”

There was a pause on the other end before Mabel muttered, “I hope you’re joking, or I’m really worried about your non-existent social life.”

He flinched. There went his dreams of being enigmatic. Maybe he was wrong about the voice. Or maybe it just didn’t work on Mabel. “Hey, I have one,” Dipper protested, trying to keep the whine out of his voice.

“Your nerd clubs don’t count.” Mabel sighed. “And you don’t even have me around to make sure you’re cool.”

“It’s not like you’re the expert of cool,” Dipper grumbled, sulking. While Mabel was the social butterfly between the two, her sweaters had all but guaranteed that the popular kids had ignored her throughout high school. They were both dorky outcasts, albeit in different ways.

“Still cooler than you.” Mabel hummed. He wondered what kind of sweater she was wearing now. Even the summer heat couldn’t stop her from donning one. Maybe he should investigate her for magic. “Hey, wanna go back this summer?”

For the second time that day, Dipper stared blankly ahead as he tried to process her words. “Back?”

“To Gravity Falls!” Mabel chirped, her words spilling out of her faster and faster as her excitement grew. “The Grunkles said they’d be back in June!”

“They will?” Dipper shouted. Immediately, he covered his mouth, but it was too late. His fellow schoolmates gave him a curious look before ignoring him once more. Maybe he shouldn’t have called Mabel while he was walking to class. At this rate, he was going to get a reputation.

“Yeah, said they’re taking a land break.” Mabel giggled, clearly amused. He hoped she wasn’t laughing at him. “I wonder who got seasick. Or maybe they’re becoming mermaids after being out there for so long.”

“It’s not like they were swimming the whole time,” Dipper pointed out, though in all honesty, it’s not like magic ever required logic to happen. Maybe just being on the water long enough was all it took to change.

“We could celebrate their birthday too.” Mabel let out a happy hoot and he could hear her bounce. “They’re what, 70 now? It’ll be a lot of candles but I think we can do it.”

“You don’t have to put that many candles,” Dipper vetoed, already picturing a cake full of holes. Seventy, huh? It was hard to think about just how old that was. His grunkles had always been old, it was part of the reason they were grunkles and not uncles. Still, when he was younger, they’d felt almost immortal. Even with the strange magic and danger and world-destroying evil monsters, it had felt like nothing could stop them.

Now that Dipper was an adult and knew a little too much about the aging process and a smattering of biology, he knew better.

And that knowledge did little to reassure him.

“You’re overthinking again,” Mabel said, cutting through his thoughts. Despite how nonsensical she was, her voice always had a sense of clarity and purpose, as though she could see something he couldn’t.

In some ways, he was certain she could.

Dipper chuckled awkwardly, not bothering to deny it. Mabel spotted his lies easily these days. “How do you always know?”

“We’re twins,” she stated matter-of-factly, as though this were a law of the universe, codified in science. He could almost see her wagging her finger at him. “It’s the twin connection. Twin ESP? Oh!” She clapped her hands together. “You know, maybe we’re just made of magic.”

Dipper snorted. That was exactly the kind of pick-me-up he needed to hear. “I don’t feel that magical.”

“That’s cause you’re overthinking things again. You’re not looking at it the right way.” Mabel hummed. He could hear cars in the background as Mabel threaded her way through New York City. It was a good thing the whole city was so busy; he couldn’t imagine the looks she must have gotten talking like this on the subway earlier. “I mean, you never look at things the right way, but this time you’re very wrong.”

“Yes, yes, I’m always wrong and you’re right.” Dipper rolled his eyes. He stopped walking now and stretched his hand above him as he stared at the clear, blue sky. “So, how should I look at it?”

“The right way.” Undaunted, she continued. Her words bumped into one another as she got invested in her new pet theory. “We are magic. You’re magic. I said it, so it’s true.”

As usual, Mabel didn’t make any sense. The tiny bud of hope he’d felt withered away. Dipper dragged a hand through his hair, his nails scratching his scalp. “I don’t think it works that way.”

“Of course it works that way.” He could hear Mabel wave her hand dismissively. It was a miracle she hadn’t hit another pedestrian as she spoke; with how animated her arms could get sometimes, Dipper had considered selling her to a power company. “It’s magic, duh! It works anyway! No wonder you were having issues finding any. How would you find anything if you act like that? You have to believe in it.”

Miffed, Dipper pointed out, “It’s not like you found it either, Miss. High-And-Mighty.”

“I can’t find magical creatures,” Mabel corrected. “I’ve always found magic.”

He stared at his phone. Did he want to ask? Dipper could feel a headache forming. Even now, as adults, there were still times when he didn’t quite know how to handle Mabel. Still, he’d be thinking about this all night if he kept quiet. With a sigh, he put it back to his ear. “There’s a difference?”

“Yeah! Obviously!” Mabel snorted, her pig-like laughter crackling through the cellphone’s speaker. “Magical creatures are like people. If they don’t want to be found, you won’t find them. Magic, though, is kinda a…hmmm…remember when we saw Peter Pan? You gotta believe in order to find it. It’s really easy too.”

“Is it now?” Dipper rubbed his forehead. He was definitely going to need Advil. “And what magic have you seen?”

“Well, that’s—” Mabel gasped. “Oh, shit, I think my class is starting! Gotta go!”

Dipper shouted, “Wait, Mabel—”

“Love you!” And without another word, the dial tone returned as Mabel cut him off.

“Mabel!” he fruitlessly shouted again. Dipper grimaced as he hung up. Of course she left before saying the most important part. Of course she’d been vague and her instructions made no sense. Believe in magic? How? What would he see after?

No matter how much he mulled over it, it wouldn’t make sense. Maybe he should just pack up and head to his own class.

Yet, Mabel never lied to him, not anymore. If she said she’d seen it, she’d seen it. Even if she was just mistaking something else for magic. Part of him wanted to believe. The world felt grey without the strange and wondrous.

God, he wished he had her confidence.

Dipper bit his lip. Maybe it wouldn’t hurt this one time to listen to her. To just believe. He closed his eyes. Magic. Science. Paranormal. The weird. Remembering Gravity Falls, remembering that one magical, strange, weird summer, he opened his eyes.

Nothing happened. Nothing changed. Students passed by. The wind blew.

Dipper sighed. Of course it’d ended like this. He straightened up and shoved his phone in his pocket, ready to go. Just before he could take a step, a man walked past, his body lump, his steps uneven.

There was something familiar about his shape, his gait. A memory of three gnomes in a trench coat buzzed faintly in his mind. Of the first incident that had led him into an adventure he could never forget.

It was probably nothing. There were many scientific reasons for it: a man with a limp, two kids in a trenchcoat, a drunkard stumbling along the street. If Dipper reached out, if he tapped on his shoulder, he’d definitely be disappointed by the result.

It was better to go to class. He should just go to class. But—

Magic works only if you believe.

—for once, he hoped Mabel was right.

Pivoting on his heel, Dipper chased after the stranger. Maybe this summer really would be something special.

[tearsonmypillow]

Hi so this is possibly the start of my wonderBAM fic and yah please give me some ideas on what to name the doorknob , it’s obviously like a lil Mumbo but Idk if it can be called mumbo because mumbo is actually a different character in the series but idk . I can also change it to look like a different character . Anyway first time fic writer pls enjoy! Also credit to @y0gurtfae for creating the au

| Oh Alice dear where have you been |

All Lizzie could feel was the twirling and swirling feeling of falling . She attempted to open her eyes but it was all to confusing to focus on anything . She saw the hole she fell through get smaller and smaller , she was falling further and further away . Around her was swirling colours of black and blue , she saw something fly past her face , but too fast to see. She closed her eyes tight wishing whatever this was would go away and she would wake and realise it was all a freaky , messed up nightmare.

When Lizzie opened her eyes again she was in a room . She sat up her head hurting . “ where…..where am I “ she whispered . The room was designed with oak floors and walls with yellow wallpaper decorated with pink , brown , and blue parrots . The walls had white wall trim around the bottom of the room . Lizzie noticed a small table in the room . She got to her feet and wandered over to it . On the table laid a small key , very small In fact . The key was the size of a needle . Aswell on the table was a medium sized bottle with a note on it , saying . Drink me .

Lizzie took a step back from the table . Something wasn’t right , where was she , what is this place . She looked around again , suddenly a realisation hit her . There was no door . How would she get out if….there was ……no door?. She noticed a small door in the corner of the room . Lizzie walked over and sat down on her knees . She bent down so that her grace was in front of the door . The door was the size of her face with a door hand the size of her finger. The golden door handle had a doorknob and a black moustache?

It seemed to have eyes but they were closed . And it had a mouth that was pressed into a thin line .

“ hello?” She asked

The door handle eyes flung open and its moustache jumped.

“ oh! Oh …..pardon me I was sleeping , I was having this amazing dream . I was flying on a unicorn going through the sky and we were- “

“ I’m sorry but what?”

“ so I was on a unicorn…..in the sky!”

Suddenly the doorknob started to giggle , it’s moustache swaying as it did .

“ is this , the only door in this room ?”

The doorknob stopped laughing and blinked at her for a moment

“ door?”

“ yes , is this the only door? “

The doorknob stopped and seemed to be thinking for a moment

“ I remember not so long ago but still long ago that there was another door in this room , it had a golden doorknob who had a really nice moustache , it was black well groomed and shaped and-“

“ if this is the only door how do i go through it ? “

Panic started to spread through lizzies voice , this door was clearly unhelpful with any of her questions , but there wasn’t anyone else around to help her .

“ if you need help getting through a door just do what I did in my dream yesterday , I found this hugeeeeeeeee cup of hot chocolate and it was massive . But I was hungry so I drank it all and then-“

“ that’s it!”

The doorknob said something that made Lizzie realise something , the drink me bottle , no liquid would be that strange looking and not have any ……… effects.

“ you must really like to interrupt doorknobs don’t you” the door knob furrowed it’s brows at lizzie

“ I’m very sorry , mr …?

“ _______!”

“ well mr. _______ I am sorry for interrupting you . My name is Lizzie . “

Mr. ______ seemed happy at this , it seemed like he was about to say something else before he suddenly fell asleep once more .

[theartisticpixelbit]

Alright, It's finally time for Twilight's B.B.B.F.F! I didn't change his design too much, mostly just added a beard, grey'd his coat and styled his hair. I did add a few healed scars, he's the captain of the Canterlot Royal Guard, of course he's going to have a few.

════ •✧• ════ MIDDLE NAMES WORK THE SAME AS LAST NAMES IN MY AU, MOST CHILDREN TAKE THE LAST NAME OF WHICHEVER PARENT THEY WANT ════ •✧• ════

~Bio~ Name: Shining 'Star' Armor Nicknames: B.B.B.F.F (Twilight Sparkle),  Gender: Male (Straight) Race: Unicorn Parents: Twilight Velvet (Mother), Night Light (Father) Siblings: Twilight 'Star' Sparkle Partner: Mi Amore Cadenza (Wife), Queen Chrysalis (One Night Stand) Children: Mi Amore Aphrodite 'Flurry Heart' (Daughter), Mi Amore Ares 'Platinum Shield' (Son), Mi Amore Eros 'Crystal Reflection' (Adoptive Child) Other Relatives: Celestial 'Del' Dawn (Aunt-In-Law), Lunar ‘Del’ Dusk (Aunt-In-Law), Princess Amore (Ancestor-In-Law)

~Headcanons~ 🛡️ The day Twilight was born, Cadence and Shining Armor stayed in the waiting room, playing games and butting horns jokingly, practicing for his dream of becoming a Royal Guard 🛡️ Shining doesn't know how to feel about his aunt-in-law, Celestia, married to an alternate reality version of the stallion that tried to take his's wife's kingdom from her three times.  🛡️ Shining Armor is not only the husband to Princess Cadence, he is also the top of her Royal Guard. He spends years training new recruits. 🛡️ Although his look and behavior is rather jock-like Shining actually really likes to enjoy the nerdy things in life like reading comics and attending monthly dnd sessions with his friends. He also adored reading books with his L.S.B.F.F (Little Sister Best Friend Forever).

🛡️Once a month he has Spike, Big Mac, Discord, and a couple of his old school friends over for D&D sessions.🛡️ Shining Armor was the firstborn to Twilight Velvet and Night Light.  🛡️ His grandfather on his mother's side was captain of the Canterlot royal guard. 🛡️  Shining Armor dreamed from a young age to be captain of the royal guard one day. He worked hard to prove himself and was a natural at shielding magic.

[Image Description: A digital art reference sheet of a redesigned Shining Armor from My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. He is a male unicorn pony with a light grey coat, his mane is a mix of 3 different hues of blue, a dark navy, a lighter navy, and a sky blue streak, he has a medium sized beard with the same colors. He wears a golden wedding ring on his unicorn horn, a golden crest with his royal guard symbol on his chest, and golden metal shoes on his front two hooves. He has long straight fetlocks on his back hooves. His back two hooves are a navy blue. His cutie mark is a golden shield adorned with different shade’s of gold and a purple six pointed star. His horn is also displayed casting a magenta colored magic. The image also includes a watermark reading 'TheArtisticPixelBit'. End ID]

[tia-amorosa]

Episode 20: Frustration

Later. Cassandra retreated to the roof to make a phone call. The conversation had been going on for a while when Lazlo, who actually wanted to go up to the telescope, joined them by chance. But he noticed that the conversation was going in a negative direction, so he stopped as if spellbound…. “Don, you've been drinking, go to bed… Hey, I don't want to know, and you know that. hey, now you don't have to come with regrets, we had an agreement, it's okay.”

“No, but I don't care who it is. If you feel the need, then sleep with her, but don't rub my nose in it, okay? It's… It's not exactly easy. No, I'm not, I'm dealing with finding my mom and we've made a lot of progress. Hh, I don't know. I know that, I miss you too, but nothing can be brought about here with pressure… Hey, now you're getting angry, that's not nice”.

“No, now you will listen to me, Don!” Her voice was loud and shaking because she was angry and close to tears. “You know exactly how important this is to me and we talked about everything before I left. I can't help it if I can't spread my legs for you, okay? Good… Yes, that's fine. Now go and sleep it off, I don't want to talk to you like this any more. H-hh, good night”.

The conversation ended with a lot of anger and sadness. Don was really angry and insulting towards her. This was probably partly due to the fact that he had drunk a fair amount of alcohol, which is not usually his style. And he didn't seem to be able to keep his promise. “You stupid idiot, why… Why couldn't you just wait?” she sniffled, wiping the tears from her face.

As she was about to go back downstairs, she saw Lazlo standing there in the spotlight. “What… Hey, how dare you, were you eavesdropping?"/ ‘I didn't really want to, but…what's your weird deal?’/ ”H-h, it's none of your business, okay? It's a thing between me and him…"/ ‘Of course… it must be a great open relationship if he's allowed to fuck other girls…’.

“I said it's none of your business, you… You don't understand“/”then explain it to me, maybe then I'll understand”. Cassandra looked at him with tears in her eyes. Even though she would have liked to say something, she held back once again and shook her head. “No, I'm tired and I'm angry, okay? But I don't want people listening in on my private conversations… I'm not just going to barge into your room either!”. He didn't say anything more and she quickly walked past him, down to her room.

Lazlo stayed upstairs for a while and looked into the distance. „She was quite upset… Should I have kept my mouth shut? But… what kind of bizarre relationship is this?…”. He then went to bed with a thousand thoughts.

That night Lazlo has a strange dream. A unicorn in the desert…,,Well, you're probably alone too? It's probably better not to get into anything in the first place. But we can be friends.. …Oh yes… I forgot… You don't exist and I'm just dreaming… And I'm probably about to wake up too. At least I'll have a little distraction tonight, Pascal needs a few test spirits. Take care”…

The dream slowly faded and dissolved into a blue haze. “Lazlo. hey, come on, get out of bed, I want to change the sheets all over again, god, did you do it again…. I'd rather not know."/ ‘mmmhh, only 5 minutes, Cali…’.

@greenplumbboblover , @solorisims , @plumbobgothica ⭐

[feytouched]

since the start of the year i've dreamt of horses almost every night that i did sleep. first it was a nightmare (ha), a shotgun sound making me look into the distance to see a rider's horse slump as its head collapsed after the gun fired accidentally. immediately after, in the same dream, i was taken to pet the soft noses of beautiful brown horses, and my heart ached less, or differently. another night i dreamt i was back at my horse-riding classes. etc. tonight it was actually a white unicorn who had befriended my mother and was very defensive of her when she called me over to see it; it wouldn't stand down until she took my hand and showed it we were friends, and then it shyly let me get closer.

always there is this trepidatious sense of their size, the fear i didn't have as a child when i first learned to ride but that somehow grew with disuse; but also this greater desire to win their affection, and for the freedom of riding away on their backs. i don't think i can go back to horse riding, but i think my mind is seeking things from my past that were once core parts of me and that i've lost, and that now fill me with anxiety and excitement in equal measures. is it time to get back in the saddle?

[sketchehm]

What’s your take on what team mafia does with bbd!sapnap during dungeons? I almost think that sapnap followed them to the first one, half of team mafia noticed but was like heh whatever and the other half freaked out, and then the second they made him stay home, and then the third and fourth idk maybe he fought to go? (I don’t actually remember if Sapnap did all of the dungeons) also sorry I feel like you’re much more invested in mafia mafia au and I’m beating a dead horse but this au is very dear to me 😭

I LOVE THE BABY AU ITS NOT A DEAD HORSE WHAT THE FUCK(LMAO)

It floats in my head Very Frequently. I just got way more mafia au asks recently so that was at the Forefront hehe

SO for the dungeons, I had the idea that the nutrias took care of Sylvee and Sapnap over at the mountain! It's very much a Daycare.

BUT!

You're 100% right that baby Sapnap manages to follow them to the first dungeon. Imagine where every dangerous obstacle/mobs just conveniently miss him as he toddles after them pfft. Tbf it's the guys' own fault for just being like...."OK stay home, we're gonna get cool loot" Baby wants cool loot >:0!! He can beat up scary monsters >:0!!!! (He can't)

There's this baby running around the medusas and people trying to wrangle him only to get turned to stone pfft Shadoune is stone right as he's trying to grab Sapnap. Sapnap laughs at the stone statue thinking it's so silly before running off again heheh.

Just imagine them in the middle of trying to be quiet in the wardens den and it's this baby screaming and running trying to get out of the dark >:'(! People gotta MOVE IT!!! (I very sill-ily imagine when Unicornio is trying to explain to everyone to be quiet before jumping down is a baby Sapnap just screaming and jumping down with the rest of the Team falling down with him pffft very cartoon-esque)

Its panic time, everyone is running now!!! Trying to chase down this baby and also avoid the wardens. Don't worry guys, this baby can get through the crevices and makes his way out as everyone is screaming behind him trying to desperately get out of there oh my god.

I imagine it's Unicorno who manges to snatch the baby right up and just says in his voice who brought a baby to this very dangerous area???? Sapnap is so enamored by this rainbow unicorn!!!

"Horsey horsey!!! Caballo!!!!"

"No NO. Soy un Unicornio!"

"Caballooo :D!!!"

The final boss! It's Eon and the baby just playing off to the side and it's everyone begging for armor repair but it's baby Sapnap who managed to get a hold of Eon's staff and is just swinging that thing causing all sorts of magic pfft. When it's time to ride the mech to destroy the cores, its Sapnap who managed to get himself transported in it so everyon is just running out of his way as he's having fun chasing people down heheheh

It's a VERY fun day for baby sapnap :3!!!

Once Shadoune finally gets a hold of him, hugging him soooo tight!! He's in SUCH big trouble!! But Sapnap is all tuckered out :(!! He's eepy! The baby saying he had SO much fun playing with everyone today!!!

Once the boss is defeated and everyone is going home, the guys SO exhausted. They're tryhards but god DAMN. Babysitting is not what they signed up for today either.....They've learned their lesson at the least....Baby sapnap being carried home by Shadoune, already fast asleep and dreaming of the fun day he had :>

[fishtail-tavra]

Dreamed of 1980’s animated adaptation of Age of Resistance (in the style of the last unicorn) and to be honest it was super fun

They pushed everything into one, hour and a half movie, so a lot of things that were secrets weren’t anymore and the set up got changed to move things right to the climax-

So everyone knows the Skeksis are evil and eating people, but the Skeksis are holding everyone hostage saying the Dark Crystal will die without them (taking all of Thra with it) and THEY will die without Gelfling essence, so from the very start tithes include sacrifices and the retuning of the drained people and

In my dream I cared more about the gays though, meaning Tavra and Onica.

Tavra got introduced arriving late to some big party Mayrin was hosting for the visiting Skeksis- no actually, it was for Brea? Some kind of coming of age thing?- anyway, Tavra trips and falls on her face coming in the doors and everyone’s very O_O; except her sisters who are already running over to say hi

She tripped though bc she saw ONICA in the crowd, disguised, and there were a lot of shots of her in the background during the main action of the party, looking worried and discreetly talking with Totally Not Onica while spilling things on herself absentmindedly or having to get tugged out of the way gently by Onica before she runs into/got run into by someone else

(there’s a morning scene later where we see them in bed together- very PG- both still fully dressed bc Tavra was up most of the night worrying- but Onica is watching Tavra sleep now, reaching out to touch her recently shortened hair (more on that later), and Tavra wakes up from that, smiling, and it’s the first time in the movie we see her really smile so)

In my dream I was mostly busy looking at screen caps and gifs of these two, but there was other changes I had fun with, like BADASS ARCHER NAIA

Naia showing up at the last big battle-

(right before the Skeksis get spooked into unleash the garthim and the clans all scatter desperately hoping at least one Gelfling survives the slaughter long enough to fulfil the Far-Dream that Onica led them into dreaming together blah blah)  

-with this MASSIVE bow, bigger than she is, (lots of cool shots of her arms and back muscles whenever she drew it) and to fire the thing she actually needs to be either standing on something (usually her brother) (or one time both Kylan and Amri stood in for a single Gurjin) or she needs to be airborne

She and Gurjin had this trick where he’d kneel down and she’d run and jump on him, he’d boost her up, and she’d use her wings to slow her fall long enough to get off a shot or two before landing again

She didn’t used it to kill anyone (except Arathim) bc movie Naia still was big on not having the Mystics as collateral damage for stopping the Skeksis,

But she did get a few really dramatic shots- once shattering a Skeksis’s jeweled staff when they were using it to hypnotized and then almost kill someone- and another where (after her own bow got broken) she picks up urVa’s bow (MUCH bigger than hers) and uses her legs while lying on the ground wounded to shoot a flask of essence out of a skeksis hand before they can drink it

In this adaption though Brea is the one who really gets the rebellion kicking, still by reading something, but not a book this time

The movie had Brea going through the trial by wing that her grandmother started as like a coming of age/proof of power to rule kinda thing, where the women who lead the Vapra have to fly the dangerous winds of Raunip’s Pass alone, reach this one high spot where Raunip left an inscription, read it and bring back a stone from the pile siting nearby

This rock pile and inscribed stone is actually the movie version of Lore,

only this time Lore was created by ye oldie Tavra (Raunip’s Friend) to keep her friend Raunip company long after she was dead, and as a way to show no hard feelings for the fight they had over the UrSkeks.

But when Raunip left for the last time (passing through the mountains of Tavra’s home and what would later get named Raunip’s pass) he left Lore behind in the cliffs overlooking Ha’rar, so the Dream-Stitched stone could watch over Tavra’s people even after he was gone

This choked me up every time dream me saw a dream post about it ngl

Anyway, Seladon the 1st, Mayrin, Seladon the 2nd, and Tavra had all just flown up there, seen some old oddly etched rocks, the dedication from Raunip to his friend Tavra, shrugged and grabbed a rock before leaving

(the size of the rock you could manage to haul back was also part of the trial and Seladon was feeling both worried for ‘airheaded’ Brea and insecure knowing her little sister was probably going to bring back a larger stone than Seladon- with her crooked wing- had felt safe carrying)

Only Brea actually takes an interest the ancient writing and the symbols and the odd carvings and she gets distracted clearing away some dirt and rubble

underneath she finds the Dream-Stitching, activates it, gets a lore dump from ye oldie Tavra’s memories AND gets Lore itself to wake up, when it turns out to be able to play recordings of Raunip’s voice etched into stone- Tavra’s real gift to him, a way for him to Dream-Stitch his memories and be remembered even without vliya- so Brea ALSO gets all of RAUNIP’S fears and confessions about his involvement with the second great conjunction and the UrSkeks and the shattering and how things have gone downhill since then and

Brea’s family is getting increasingly worried she’s taking so long, what if she got smashing on the rocks by the winds, what if she’s hurt and needs help-

and the Skeksis get a chance to be evil and manipulative commenting that if Brea isn’t strong enough to follow in her grandmother’s flight path then maybe it’s the will of Thra that she fails this challenge and never comes home

I think I remember this being one of those moments where you can see everyone’s different reactions in a single frame, and it went something like Mayrin: devastated, Seladon: flinching and cringing, Tavra: looking absolutely murderous.

This is when Tavra steps forward and when questioned says she’s going to go look for her sister, since it was the will of Thra that they BE sisters in the first place, and Seladon hesitates before also saying she’ll go with Tavra

But that’s when Brea comes home with an entire rock monster and sort of accidentally starts a rebellion by asking questions, so

The night BEFORE this, the party scene, with the tithing and the prepping Brea for her big day, there had been this moment when the drained Gelflings were returned home, and Mira was one of them

And so Rian had come too, because up until this moment the “crystal anointed” were kept in seclusion, hooded and veiled, to keep a general panic from breaking out, and they only were released back to their own family in the clan they came from

(an information isolation tactic, to help the Skeksis spread rumors of each clan paying more than the other, or of their offered Gelfling being less worthy of the Crystal’s light and THAT’S why they are Like That Now, but the other clans aren’t being effected, no no no it’s totally just you, and you’re also having to give more people because the richer clans are paying more in tithes to send fewer offerings, so really the ones you should be mad at are the OTHER CLANS, not the Skeksis, the Skeksis don’t care how they get their sacrifices, the Skeksis only care about maintaining the Crystal that maintains all life on Thra obviously-)

Rian followed them to Ha’rar (with Gurjin) (and Naia because Naia’s not letting her twin go off into maybe danger without her) to finally reunite with Mira, but she’s been SO badly drained he barely recognizes her and she DOESN’T recognize him,

Cue very sad scene of Rian trying to help her remember, and after a bit she does reach out to dreamfast, like its instinct, only nothing happens, and Naia (the healer) checks and declares she doesn’t have enough vliya to dreamfast with- in fact, she doesn’t have enough to stay alive with, even. She isn’t just old and drained looking. She’s dying.

Rian is horrified, Rian breaks down, Rian shouts at the Skeksis while crying and holding Mira close,

The Skeksis don’t like that and we get a fun dramatic party screeches to a halt scene as the General gets up and draws his sword

Dream me thought it was very fun that Gurjin still got his hero moment, causing a distraction by taking on the castle guards that came here with the Skeksis so Rian could get Mira away

(also callback to the first movie, with a drained and totally out of it Mira still managing to break her and Rian’s fall with her wings when he has to throw them off a cliff)

(he totally thought they were gonna die together and was fine with that)

(instead they land on a Sifa ship and WOOO YEAH TAE AND ETHRI ARE HERE totally not because Oinca had a feeling it would be good and convenient if they parked their ship in this very specific spot)

Back in Ha’rar, Gurjin is captured by the guard, a pissed Naia challenges and fights the general about it

(there was a scene were the Skeksis realize Naia and Gurjin are twins and get Excited about that)

So they make a deal with Naia, if she wins, her brother will go free, if she loses… they both will go to the crystal together.

And while all THIS was happening, BREA ran off to fetch Tavra, who’d slipped away at some point, and runs in on the secret that her big stern sister is very much kissing a Sifa, which these days is Very Very illegal, but Brea’s just shocked to see very serious soldier Tavvra actually kissing anyone-

She remembers to tell Tavra what’s happening at the party, Tavra dives out the nearest window to get there faster, Onica suggests she and Brea take a detour along the way

(the detour is to set up a small tricky sabotage that will let Naia escape in moment)

The first time we see Tavra do anything cool in the movie is when she breaks through a window, sword drawn, and slashes at the General’s hand to make him drop Naia when he has her by the throat

Tavra and the General duel, Naia uses this distraction to attack the guards holding Gurjin and they exit stage right pursued by more guards, Seladon is freaking out and Mayrin calls for Tavra to stand down-

And in the tags of one post about this, ppl talk about how earlier in the movie it was set up how Gelfling don’t normally cut there hair short, since hair is kinda like tree rings or roots to them, so getting rid of it is like throwing away your life up till then and wanting to forget/distance yourself from it

(a thing traditionally associated with criminals, outlaws, Gelflings who went against their families)

BUT lately short hair has ALSO been used by rebels, the rumored Gelflings who refuse to pay tithes or offer up people to the castle

So this scene comes up, Tavra's duel, where the General says something like “blah blah traitorous Vapra, blah, oath breaking Gelfling scum”

And Tavra’s just like, it’s not breaking a vow to defend the people I’ve sworn to protect- which makes the General so mad he tries decapitating her, only she just kneels in response and bows her head-

So the sword cuts off her braid of hair instead. Big crowd reaction shot and gasp

(also revelation that Tavra’s hair is really wavy/curly when it’s short and not tied back, I don’t know why dream me thought that detail was super fun)    

(tags on this post point out that this is kinda like, symbolism of how the Skeksis have being cutting Gelfling’s off from their actual old laws and traditions while making Gelflings bow to them instead)

And the other Skeksis sees this, hears the murmurs and muttering, sees the very bad PR image of a Skeksis about to kill a princess who is kneeling on the floor before him WHILE ALL THEIR PERSONAL GUARDS ARE MISSING and rushes in to pull the General back before he can split Tavra down the middle

The party ends… awkwardly, with the Skeksis placating the crowd by commending Tavra (through gritted beaks) for withstanding their ‘test’ of her loyalty and duty to her vows as a paladin, which they totally did on purpose, never would have actually killed anyone nope

They just barely restrain most of their rage when the guards come back (covered in odd powders that make them sneeze and slipping on boots covered in grease) to report that the three ‘criminals’ have escaped with their ‘abducted’ ‘prisoner’ (Mira)

annnnnnd they’re forced to accept Mayrin’s offer of Tavra leading her soldiers on the search, since they’re the only ones who know Ha’rar well enough to do it

(quick scene of Tavra directing her paladins to search the mountains and the cliffs and the village and the valley, and… no, not the seashore or the coast. Without the help of a Sifa they wouldn’t survive long there and would have to turn inland soon anyway. it’s not like there are any Sifa up here right now. Right? Right.)

I think I also remember that Deet gets introduced while she’s dreamfasting a giant taint-maddened nebrie-

(she can’t heal them, but as long as she’s dreamfasting with them SHE can take on the pain and horror of the taint, and when she sings while doing that they fall peacefully asleep, letting anyone nearby get safely away)

And it turns out she’s been working so hard to find out what’s going on with the tainted creatures of Thra she’s become sensitive to the presence of the taint, AND good enough at listening with her vliya that she can hear and understand what the Trees are saying, even though their voices have almost gone quiet

The trees lost contract with each other as the taint spread (some of them being taken over by it even) so Deet got sent out by her clan’s Tree to contact / warn / bring messages to the other trees and their clans

There was still that cool moment of Kylan dreamstitching the warning onto flower petals and everyone watching them fly off in a cloud so I guess Deet recruited him at some point… or no… maybe that was to summon the clans to what ended up being the big final battle?

I feel like there was a ‘lighting the beacons’ scene where all the clans lit their blue flames and a moment (echoing the opening of the tv show) where we saw their leaders all standing together in dreamfast on a map vision of Skarith land, reaching out to each other around a shared blue fire….

Anyway taking on the suffering of the taint was slowly tainting Deet herself, and she kept lashing out in pain more, or getting lost in the nightmare visions of the crystal’s breaking  

She got one cool scene at the end though.

After the Gelfling come together to Far-Dream the prophecy of how the Skeksis might fall and the Skeksis see this and, in a panic, unleash all their Garthim before they can even control them properly, leading to many Gelfling being killed instead of captured for draining-

Deet is one of the ones caught and brought back to be drained, but she’s laughing when they strap her into the draining chair, and when she calls out,

all the tainted creatures she’s helped over the movie wake up in time to cause havoc on any nearby garthim-

and so do the Trees, reconnected briefly THROUGH the spreading taint BY Deet as she’s being DRAINED by the crystal, and the connection lasts just long enough for their roots to soak up as much of the taint as they can while tearing up the ground around the castle, breaking the crystal (and the taint’s) direct connection to the rest of Thra-

The trees all die, burning up in a last blaze of vliya along with Deet, but the tainted creatures aren't tainted anymore, and outside the barren land around the castle everything else starts growing in healthy again

Turns out it was the world that was feeding life to the crystal, not the other way around

(another skeksis lie)

Which makes the skeksis ultra SUPER unhappy the garthim rampage killed off so many useful Gelflings before their essence could be drained

The stinger ending was Kylan finishing writing all this down and hiding the book just before garthim burst in, the shot of his hand desperately tucking the book away-

-jump cutting to Jen’s hand gently pulling it’s crumbling pages out of hiding who knows how many trine later

Final shot being a slow pull back and pan out of Jen calling to Kira about what he found, and her excitedly calling back that she thinks a small nearby sapling might have just talked to her, so maybe he could read the book aloud to both of them?

end credits roll over the scene as Jen reads and Kira clears away weeds from a young baby tree, while fizzgig gets chased around the clearing by a whole pack of little angry baby fizzgigs

And that’s it, that’s the movie adaption that doesn’t exist but I got to be in the fandom of for a few glorious minutes

The last unicorn animation style REALLY went well with the vibes. loved it.

[inthedarkshadows000]

SneakPeak#107.......

From the story I might never write

[Iskaed au pt.1]

Those misogynistic pigs!!! They only wanted to meet today to try and intimidate me.

As if, I snorted and massaged the crown of my head with my pointers.

I did not work through blood and tears for half a decade so some self obsessed, greedy politicians could frame me for treason against my country.

To be an Indian foriegn secretary had taken a better portion of my life.

I had to completely flip my attitude to pursue the sudden passion I had acquired, no more parties, late night rendezvous, lack of routine and so on. Basically every rule that I had lived by for the 21 years, before I decided I wanted to be this.

I had the brains but not the discipline yet I did it, I got my shit together, proved everyone around me wrong, and cleared the exam with flying colours.

After that it wasn't still all fun as I thought, once in the system, I realised the reality of it all. The stinky politics, the I got dick so I gotta be a dick attitude, and so on.

I mean I wasn't expecting it to be rainbow farts and unicorn shit but you would think it'll atleast be a little subtle, being a bureaucratic job and all. Nope!! Not a chance.

It was so glaring obvious that currently one of my lovely ministers were on a tour to Japan, to, guess what?!!

Exactly!!! Intimidate lil ol'me into resigning, else, he would frame me for conspiring against india. Blah blah blah.

Not while I still breathe.

He thinks I don't know his simpleton idea. (it'll make him choke to death to realised a woman has more brains than him.)

Like hellloooo.... my job profile need me to be at my sharpest quite unlike their's. I rolled my eyes so hard at the thought, surprised they aren't stuck in my head.

Hence, why i was stressing and burning a path into my office carpets. That guy is a snake and if I don't play my cards right he might as well finish me right now.

Goooood!!!!!! Couldn't I have people like getou, gojo, Nanami or toji around me.

Like... yummmmm... I mean to obviously support and help me, no other reason *wink wink*, ofcourse.

Just imagine... daddy fushi. Drooooool !!!!

Alas not everyone can have hot men fighting for or protecting us. The injustice I tell you. I thought with a tiny pout.

I had only just finished my tiny prayer to manifest so when I heard a light buzz behind my back and whizzed around.

What. I stepped back to create space between the body wall that had suddenly appeared and hit something- one else.

The. I spun around again to keep the 2 intruders in my line of sight.

Actual. And hit the 3rd.

Fuck. And 4th.

Holy moly!!!! My eyes were probably the size of saucers as I tried to decide if I had seriously lost the last few screws that I guaranteed I had.

There were currently 3 angels- anime characters- right in front of me, and I really, really hope the one missing here is behind me.

I whipped around to check and yes, he is. In all of his 6 feet plus glory. Gulp.

I raised my hand to pull at the lock of hair on his forehead to make sure this wasn't a dream.

Hey!! I ain't hurting me. I might be crazy but got limits too, Babe.

"Owee!! What was-"

That's the last last thing I heard before a "fuck me" left my lips and I blacked out.

OK... so no I actually did not faint. I have a meeting with the devil, can't really let my defences down even if the sexiest of men namely... wait for it OK.... The greatest ever.... SATORU GOJO, KENTO NANAMI, TOJI FUSHIGURU and SUGURU GETOU had suddenly apparated infront of me from thin air.

However, I did get extremely light headed and tripped on my feet. Although a pair of hands were holding me up before I could embarrass myself.

"Thank you" I said straightening myself and moving out of suguru's grip. 

Really never thought I would do this, like move out of this beautiful specimen's arms. Kill me now. I hate being responsible.

"Any particular reason why 4 random men have just appeared out of thin air in my office at the most random and frankly inconvenient time" I continued with raised eyebrow and moved around.

Regain control!!! Regained control!!! Do not let yourself be seduced!!!

I walked out from the amongst them. The position making me feel extremely vulnerable due to sheer difference in height and stature between them and my 5'3", petite self.

Now I know.... I am not dumb but I can't just throw myself on the extremely trained, assassin level skilled people who literally have the worst trust issues ever. I'll probably be declared a crazy stalker bitch and dead meat even before I get a hand around them, especially with the stunt I just pulled.

"You pulled my hair. Why did you pull my hair?" Suguru asked with a little tilt to his head.

OH! MY!!! GOD!!!! AS ADORABLE AS A PUPPY!!! . I had stop my self from squishing his face, he looked so cute.

He followed my form as I sat behind my desk and motioned for them to take a seat on the 2 chairs in front as well as the couches placed on the right side area of the desk.

"She probably found it weird suguru" snickering the white haired baby, Satoru.

"I apologise, I wanted to make sure you were real. Now if you could all please answer my question" I said completely ignoring the menace.

I wasn't actually apologitic. Do you KNOW how soft it was.

"And you wouldn't pull your own? That's what people normally do, you know" satoru said.

"You really wanna talk about normal?" I questioned back, and motioned towards all of them and waving my hands around.

"Touché"

However my comment did make them glance at each other. There movements uncomfortable in there own way.

Toji was the first to release a long sigh, shrug and move towards the long couch. Sitting down with a manspread and head thrown back, like he really didn't care about the fact that he isn't a 2-D wetdream anymore but a real person. I knew from the show it wasn't so. He was as alert as a watch dog.

Suguru too gave a sigh of defeat, scanned the office like making sure nothing was about to pop up and attack or maybe just analysing. He seems like a person who would. Then his eyes met mine, gave that sweet smile which I had swooned over millions of times, and walked over to me with his hands in his pocket. He seemed awkward. No. Just unsure, I think. The smile was a facade to hide whatever he was feeling.

Satoru stood straighter, I thought he would fall back with how backward bent he was however he just walked towards me with a surprising grace for someone as tall as him. Swinging his arms around, his aura of confidence which had almost slipped at my comment, maintained. Seeing his body language I knew some weird comment was on its way. Probably to redunce anything I had noticed, if I had.

"You were about to faint because of how handsome I am, weren't you?" He came into my personal space and bent over me. His forefinger pulled his black glasses a little lower so he could hold me with his piercing eyes.

And held I was, no animation or device in the world could do his eyes justice. The blue in them was nothing an ordinary person could describe. It wasn't just a colour but a melange of different shades of blue that almost seemed...... alive.

The closeness, like i have never felt before made me panic and I blutered the first thing that came to my head "Are you an alien? You definitely seem like one."

"Huh-" there was a two second lag in Satoru as he tried to comprehend my question and suguru chuckled, hiding his face behind his hand to try and control it.

He had taken a seat on one of the chairs. Atleast someone was ready to have an adult conversation with me.

"An angel actually" satoru replied recovering but so had I and simply rolled my eyes at him.

I pushed his face away from mine and said "Sit the hell down. Just because I am not screaming and going crazy does not mean I am all normal here. I need answers, and want them as soon as possible."

"I am Nanami Kento, these are my colleagues gojo satoru and geto suguru. The one over there is Fushiguru Toji. I apologise for the sudden intrusion in your office....and your space" Nanami said the last part looking at satoru.

He had taken the other seat while satoru had been talking to me. Sitting with his arms crossed and back as straight as they come. His classic stoic expression was hawt.

Satoru rolled his eyes at Nanami like an insolent kid. I bit the inside of the cheek to control the smile that threatened to escape, seeing their antics in real life is definitely much more entertaining.

"Satoru sit. On the couch." Suguru rubbed his eyes when satoru moved to sit on the handle of my chair.

"We really don't have the energy right now." He was finally tired of his best friend's attitude.

Surprisingly toru actually listened and sat down on a single couch, beside the one which Toji had taken, his legs crossedamd head thrown back. He was a spliting image of one of the scenes from the show.

During this time, I noticed that they all seemed to belong to different eras of the anime. Not only that, there was a mix of all of there styles.

Toji looked like right before he died in season 2. With his compressed shirt and those lose pants. The creators really didn't do his boobies justice. The trust he had on that shirt is what I aspire to have in my relations.

Gojo when he was a teacher but with thise sexy rectangular shades. Kento, the sexy suit.

Suguru seemed like he was in jjk season 2, without his traditional monk clothes. His hair were shoulder length. Both him and satoru wore jjk uniforms for teachers, which were similar to the ones they had as students. The baggy pants and all.

Wanna guess what those hide ;"

"I am y/n. Officer in the Indian embassy here" I moved my hand towards kento first and then suguru. There hands were soft and warm, engulfing mine entirely. Of course they had to have the most beautifully crafted hands ever. I sent a silent prayer to thank for my skin tone which never reveals my blush.

I wasn't usually the one to be conscious about physical appearance but I gotta tell you my ego was taking continuous hits being in their presence.

"I don't know how to entirely explain what just happened. I think we aren't from here yet came here. Its all extremely absurb for us too.... obviously the transportation doesn't help either." began suguru. He kept pausing and looking at nanami and others as if answers would randomly appear.

Poor thing. I could probably solve half of his issues by telling him what I knew of them but looking at him so unsure was getting fun now.

"We Basically died and got reincarnated" Piped satoru, his hand over his eyes, glasses kept on the coffee table. Babe..what?!?!

"We need to know where we are and maybe then we will be in a better condition to link our circumstances." Nanami said trying to find a starting point of their story.

At this point I realised how truly stressed they all were. Even though they sat carelessly, a tightness in their body was visible. Their eyes shifting everywhere as if trying to find some clue to make sense of.

Nodding my head I switched on my laptop, which was kept in front of me on my desk and opened up chrome, typing up their anime I turned it towards them. I stood up a little to pass it.

"I think this will help you make a little more sense of the situation" I mumbled and pulled back my fingers, sitting back in my chair.

I forced myself to not bite my nails as I saw there face become more and more confused. The creases on there forehead increased. Suddenly a loud voice made me jump in my chair and I let out a squeak.

"What the actual fuck is this!?" That was nanami cursing. OH god! I can happily die now. Hearing this sophisticated creature curse in front me made all kinds of delirious before I shook it off.

Suguru turned towards me when he heard my voice and instantly asked nanami to control his temper. My sweet, sweet sugar.

I am going to assume he was talking to himself and avoid any communication till I absolutely had to.

The fact that Nanami cursed made toru and toji curious too, who quickly scrambled over.

The more they kept looking through the more I kept sinking into the chair, regretting this, I don't even know why though. I figured it was due to four steroid infused men who might be angry at me, in such close quaters.

Suguru had been continuously shifting his gazing between the screen, his mates and me. I really wonder what he was thinking.

Toji had been standing tall, next to nanami with his hands crossed and looking into the screen with a nonchalant attitude, we all know he was anything but. I was sure of it when I caught his side glance in my direction which almost felt like it was sizing me up.

Sir please.. my Size is fragile- handle-with-care.

Satoru was between nanami and suguru leaning all the way in, totally engrossed into the screen. He suddenly shouted pointing at the screen with one hand and shaking suguru like a toy with the other "Look suguru, they got the perfect click. oooh dayuumm babay.... I look so pretty."

Toji suddenly turned towards me fully and put his both hands down on the desk and leaned forward and in the the most intimidating tone said one word that had my blood freeze.

.

.

.

.

And rush into my nether regions.

Psycho woman.

"Explain"

The rest of them looked up me too. Toji continued to look at me like he couldn't decide if letting me answer was worth not killing me. I was after all their only hope, of sorts.

"I.. you.. I me.. ..an" I stammered. I knew they wouldn't actually kill me. I hope. Even then, with how rattled they seem I couldn't let my gaurd down. Toji was a wild card here. He did not have the same way of handling situations as the others did.

I knew that the other three wouldn't be able to stop him, if they wanted to, that is, and that 'if' was a huge one right now.

Suguru suddenly got up from his place and came towards me. I stood up and shifted to step away from the chair in a way that it created a shield between us, in case they all decided that they had no use for me anymore.

He put his hands up in a way of showing he meant no harm and walked closer in slow steps like approaching a scared animal.

I probably looked like one. I loved these fictional characters but exactly as that, I would be a fool to forget what they were trained as. killing machines. They had been so traumatised that distrust for a stranger was only natural.

Therefore, I wouldn't be off my gaurd either till I gained their trust. I made sure to keep an eye on all of them in which ever place I stood. Especially now that I could feel Toji's patience running thin.

"Guys relax. Y/n, could you please explain what's all this. It's been a rough couple of..... I don't even know how long. The fact that our entire lives are splayed across your screen Is really not looking very good. We just want to know why?" By the time suguru had finished, he was in my personal bubble. So close that I had to take a step back, and shift the chair again, to not break my neck looking up.

"Also if you got anymore of my perfect moments captured, I need them asap. The quality is like really good here." Of course the strongest sorcerer of all time had a different priority.

I took a deep breath and shifted I to my bureaucratic role. Fake it till you make it. Right? Squaring up my shoulders, I gave a tiny nod to suguru and turned towards the rest. Going with the easier question first.

"Yes. I got amazing pics of you, and the rest of you too. Not because I stalked you, well I do but not physically. You do realise that's impossible with the abilities you all possess, don't you?" My tone sassy with the last sentence.

Satoru actually hummed, with his face between his thumb and fore finger, in a thinking pose.

"In my world you all are actually characters of an anime called jujutsukaisen. Well, the charac- people in there have huge Fandoms because of your looks and strength and story. I just coincidentally happen to be one too." I finished and shrugged shoulders, absolutely covering my obsession with them like it was a teenage crush.

I raised my chin with an attitude of go fuck yourselves and took my place back on the chair. Suguru had moved to stand at the side of the desk. I was partially thankful because if anyone decide to jump me, I was running behind him like this chic on fire.

"If you wanna know all that I know, then I can just start the anime in here and open the link to Mangas." I said as an after thought.

"I want to apologise for my behavior earlier, it's not like me to curse. We would really appreciate it if you could show us whatever there is." Nanami said with a guilt and rubbed his tired face.

A genuine smiled spread on my face. "Don't worry, I know how you are and actually always wondered what you would seem like losing co- I mean angry." Quickly corecting myself I waved him off.

No need to sound perverted, because let's be honest I did mean it in a perverted way.

"Don't say it like that. You sound like you know everything about us when we don't know shit about you. It's weird" that was Toji with his impeccable manners.

I looked at him smiling and scratched the back of neck awkwardly, "Right.. My bad. I'll try and be mindful of it."

Suguru took his place back on the chair. "So we are .. like just characters here, Nothing else?" He seemed kinda disappointed.

"Sir please, dont insult yourselves like that." I said dramatically with a hand on my heart. "Wait till you see the obsession and love people have for you here. I am surprised there isn't a petition for  jjk to be a religion yet." I giggling because like seriously!! Wait till they see the extend of it.

I prayed my theatrics would bring a smile to his face, it wasn't made to be disappointed and like hell would I ever let him or any of these people be any less than happy. Thankfully it worked and he gave a tiny smile.

"Anyway here is my phone with everything open and if you really wanna see the reality of your Fandom, I am sure you know how to use net." Passing the phone to them.

I suddenly realised it was about to be time for my personal favourite person to enter, Mr. Shah. Note the sarcasm.

Which meant I had to hide them before he saw all of this and added 'slut' to his list of adjectives for me.

"We need a bigger screen, can't expect us to see everything on this. Are you poor?" Satoru seemed genuinely aghast at the idea.

OK. Judgemental much, pretty boy.

"No i am not but that is the only device I can spare for public use right now." I said sharply and continued. "Actually its perfect, you cannot watch it here, right away in any case. Remember how I said this is a very inconvenient time, although my literal fantasy was coming true." I motioned towards them and satoru smirked.

"I have a meeting with a snake, and I can't have you lot loitering around." I continued before he could make a remark.

"Snake like a literal or figuratively?" Now you would think that this was something Satoru would ask but it wasn't. Personally, I never thought I would have to clarify something like that.

"I mean it figuratively but once you see him you'll be amazed how much closer he is to the literal sense. So as I was saying, I'll have to lock you guys in the washroom" I answered after waiting a beat to see if Toji was serious or just pulling my leg. He Stood straight, with his hands crossed and those buldging biceps. Squish my head and call me orange juice.

Wait....My god he was serious about the question. What kind of deals HAS he gone through.

Add to the THINGS TO ASK.

"With these idiots- You cannot hide my pretty face like that!" Nanami and suguru didn't really say anything. They sat on the chairs mostly observing and listening. I looked at them and gave a helpless smile with I-seriously-got-no-other-option shrug. They glanced at the other and then relaxed a little. I was gonna assume they said-

"very well."

OH they actually did. Thank god atleast half the population had some brains.

Ring.ring.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck!!!!

Next

[monsterswithimagines]

Sailor Song (Nathan's pov) - part 3

Nathan Young x Female!Reader

Summary: After Nathan is buried alive, things aren't all rainbows and unicorns for him. One night, after a particularly bad nightmare in which he's back in his coffin all over again, he calls his ex–you.

Masterlist

~

Another restless night.

It was a Saturday, and the community centre had that lonesome feeling to it that it always did on weekends–abandoned. Even the emergency lights, which during the week would at least light up the hallways at night, were off. Everything was completely dark save for some lights coming in through the windows.

Nathan came awake clawing at his own throat. It took a few seconds for his eyes to adjust, and it was only when he noticed the ceiling–far away from him, not just a hand’s width above his eyes–that he remembered he was no longer buried.

His heart still pounding, he became gradually aware that his panicked breathing was not the only noise up on the mezzanine. His phone was buzzing somewhere.

He reached blindly for it, answering without glancing at the screen.

“H’llo?” he muttered into the phone, still not really breathing right.

“Hey.”

Nathan sat up, but made himself stay on the thin mat that served as his mattress because it was ridiculous to go running from his own bed every night, and glanced at his phone screen. Then, he pressed the phone back to his ear, frowning.

“(Y/n)?”

“Did I wake you?” you asked. You sounded… not quite right, but Nathan couldn’t put his finger on what was wrong.

“No,” Nathan lied.

He hadn’t rang you yet, though this time he’d really been planning to. It was just that another superpowered freak had got in the way, and then his mum had had him over for tea (and to do his laundry) and apparently she and Jezza were getting married–

So that had been a thing.

He’d had a very busy week, was the point. And that wasn’t even counting the fact that he’d also died again. Twice. Once because he’d been murdered, and then once because he’d slipped in the shower, which had been dumb.

Still, he hadn’t expected you to beat him to actually picking up the phone. He hadn’t thought you’d bother to ring him at all. Hadn’t the ball sort of been left in his court?

On your side of the line, you sniffed, and Nathan realised all at once why you’d sounded off.

Your voice had been thick from crying.

“Sorry,” you said, as if you knew he’d now realised you were snivelling in his ear. “I didn’t know who else to call…”

“What’s wrong?” Nathan asked, biting back his instinct to joke that there were probably thousands of different people you could have gone to before thinking of him.

You took a shuddering breath. There was a police siren in the background. It was far away, then closer, then far away again. You were outside somewhere, which wasn’t too strange for you, but you didn’t sound like you’d been partying. Why were you outside in the middle of the night if you weren’t out with mates?

“Things are just so fucked right now,” you finally said. “I did something bad.”

“Been there,” Nathan said, hoping he sounded at least a little soothing.

You made a choking noise, either holding back a laugh or a sob, and then breathed deeply again. “I really am sorry I woke you.”

“I told you, ya didn’t,” Nathan insisted. “Honestly, I was awake, watching violent gay porn and cranking.”

“C– cranking?”

“It’s a crying wank,” Nathan said, puffing up his chest to add a bit of bravado to his voice. He faked a sob and mimed wanking off, even though you couldn’t see him. "It blends emotion with pleasure."

“You never change, do you?” you asked, sounding tired.

“It’s my gift and my curse.”

You cleared your throat. “Well, I should go.”

“What? No phone sex?” Nathan asked, flopping back against his mattress. Hearing your voice had made him feel better, his dream now hovering only at the edges of his awareness. “Or y’could come over and we could have a proper shag.”

“Bye, Nathan.”

You hung up.

Nathan sighed, dropping his phone beside him and turning onto his side.

He hoped you were okay.

It took a long time to get his worries out of his mind enough to go back to sleep.

-

The next day, Nathan didn’t have much to do.

Sunday meant no community service, and he didn’t want to stick around the centre by himself, so he wandered around the estate aimlessly, listening to music on his iPod.

Around two pm, he went to buy lunch with a tenner his mum had given him, and then sat on a park bench and ate it slowly. It only took a little bit of internal debating before he had his phone pressed to his ear, listening to the dial tone.

After last night, he needed to know that you were okay.

Which you seemed to be, because you answered on the second ring, sounding casual: “Hey.”

“Hiya. D’you remember when we got fucked up that one time and you went absolutely mental over that one statue at the park?” Nathan stared at the statue in question. It stood in the middle of the park–or well, Wertham’s sorry excuse for a park, which had exactly six trees–a tiny man, kind of like a leprechaun, only with none of the typical features of a leprechaun and dressed half like a pirate and half like a businessman. “You were right, that thing is right weird.”

You chuckled.

“So I was thinkin’,” Nathan continued, finishing off his sandwich and throwing the wrapper in the general direction of the bin. He missed. “You an’ me, we should get together sometime.”

“Should we?” you asked.

“Yeah. What’re you doin’ right now?”

“Oh, uh,” a pause. “Now’s no good. I’ve got a thing I need to do.”

“Oh,” Nathan said, a little put out.

“Tomorrow, though?”

“I’ve got to do my community service.”

“I know, I meant tomorrow night,” you clarified, then coughed awkwardly. “We could go to the pubs, have a couple’a drinks.”

“I’m sort of between pay slips right now,” Nathan said vaguely–a lie. He hadn’t had a job since… ever. He’d debated getting one recently, considering his whole being-a-homeless situation, but it was hard to find honest employment when he spent all the usual working hours paying back the community for his antisocial behaviour.

“I see,” you said after a beat. “Well, you could always come ‘round mine. But no funny business,” you rushed to add, before Nathan could even think of a fitting comment. “Just drinks. Maybe a film.”

“That sounds nice,” Nathan said, because it did.

“Right then,” you said. “Seven-ish?”

“I’ll be there.”

You said your goodbyes, and Nathan hung up the phone. Once he did, he stuffed it in his pocket and stood, then went up to the weird statue he’d been looking at, leaning down to bring his face close to it.

“Y’er a freaky lookin’ fella, aren’tcha?” Nathan asked.

He straightened and kicked at an empty beer can, his hands in his pockets. He had no idea how he was going to spend the rest of his afternoon, but then…

Nathan…

The voice was like a whisper, only not exactly. It was like it’d been carried to his ears on the breeze.

Nathan looked around, his first thought that one of his mates was out here, had spotted him and was now calling him. But that was ridiculous. That voice hadn’t been one of his mates. Also, other than him, the park was completely empty.

Naaaaathaaaaan…

Nathan shivered against a wild gust of wind, drawing his jacket tighter around him.

He stood around for a bit, waiting for something else to happen. Nothing did.

Eventually, he slinked back off towards the community centre. He could have sworn someone whispered his name again as he left the park.

[thealmightyemprex]

Fantasy month:Middle Earthathon Part 3 The Return of the King

.......OK....This might be one of the most baffeling movies that exists simply cause it exists .So this has nothing to do with Ralph Bakshis Lord of the Rings Film ,this is done by Rankin/Bass who did the Hobbit .Now a rumor is Rankin/Bass made this to cash in on Bakshis film when it was clear he was not making LOTR Part 2.....Thing is that just plain not true ,animation takes a long time and they started on this before the Hobbit was even finished.Nah the plan was always to follow up the Hobbit a light childrens story.....With the final book in a TRILOGY that is connected to the Hobbit ,while not unkid friendly is a bit more complex.Why did Rankin/Bass think that going about a sequel in this backassward way was a good idea.....They didnt think people would sit through a whole trilogy .....So this is kind of a dumb idea for a film ,and whatever my oppinion on the finished product it is made on shaky ground ....Buthey its done by Rankin/Bass and while not every project they make is gold ,theyve made some pretty good stuff and while their Christmas Specials are what they are known for....Theyve done some damn good fantasy :Ive already discussed my love of their Hobbit,Flight of the Dragons is a total blast and The LAst Unicorn is a personal favorite of mine,so maybe this'll be great too....Well-OK lets get into the review

In this 1980 TV movie Gandalf (John Huston ),Elrond (Paul Frees ) and the hobbits Frodo(Orson Bean ) ,Samwise ( Roddy McDowall ) ,Merry(Casey Kasem ) and Pippin (Sonny Melendrez ) are celebrating the 129th birthday of Fordos uncle Bilbo(Also Orson Bean ),who asks Frodo about what happend to his magic ring ,and thus we get a tale of war ,death,of litterally carrying the world on your shoulders....All set to Glenn Yarburough songs-OK We gotta talk about it

Look....I dont hate this movie ,I actually quite enjoy it .....Despite how technically it is NOT GOOD .Ya know how the biggest criticism of the Jackson Hobbit films is they try to take a childrens story and fit it in the mold of a grand epic.....Its the same problem here but reversed ,they take a grand epic and try to make it a childrens tale.Also I cant imagine how confusing this film mustve been to kids in 1980 who had never experienced any version of LOTR or just knew the Hobbit cause this is clunky as hell ...That said it is such a weird idea I cant help but find it charming in an odd way

Theres a lot of songs and dream sequences (Mostly performed by Glenn Yarburough as the Minstrel of Gondor )they are all pretty decent though my favorites are

Leave Tomorrow Till it Comes which is paired with a nice fantasy sequence of Frodo imagining a more peaceful journey complete with friendly orcs

Towers of the Teeth :A really solid villain song mocking the heroes forces

Frodo of the Nine Fingers which....Full disclosure is kind of a meme in my family ,easy way to make us laugh is to say "Frodo of the NInnnnnnnnne Fingers and the ring of Doooooom "

And of course the orcs song When Theres A WHip Theres A Way which maybe my second favorite thing in the entire movie,it humanizes the orcs and is really catchy

The cast is basically mostly the same people from the Hobbit .John Huston is still commanding and grand as Gandalf ,Brother Theodore is legit menacing and creepy as Gollum .Paul Frees replaces Cyril Richard as Elrond and hes good ,John Stephenson plays the Witch King and I kind of love the weird Skeletor esque voice he gives him and his design is pretty awesome ,and Don Messik is good as both Theoden and the Mouth of Sauron.Of the returning actors the one who really impresses me is Orson Bean ,who made for a great comedic protagonist in Bilbo ,but as Frodo hes pretty good capturing the wearyness and I especially love his evil laugh once he becomes corrupted by the ring

Im sad to say aside from one,,,,,,I dont have much to say about the new cast members ,as Merry and Pippin dont do much (Though Casey Kasem has a few good dramatic moments which legit impressed me considering I mostly know him as Shaggy from Scooby Doo )Nellie Bellflower get a good scene as Eowen but since theres no build up to her she falls flat and the same goes for William Conrad as Denethor as while Conrad does the madness well....All his scenes are cut so hes just a crazy old guy.Hell Aragorn the title character.....IS BARELY IN THIS AND WE GET NONE OF HIS BACKSTORY ,we dont know hes friends with Frodo,hes just some vague king guy and while Theodore Bikel definately makes him imposing and kingly ,like the others hes flat

However the film SHOULD be watched for one thing :Roddy McDowall as Sam.McDowall is one of my favorite actors but on paper hes a weird choice but thankfully McDowall NAILS it ,putting aside his refined mannerisms to fit Frodos trusted gardner ,and he fills that heroic latter part of the story Sam really well .Honestly due to how good McDowall ,Bean and Brother Theodore are ,there scenes are the best part of the movie .I also wont lie the emotional moments did get me misty eyes

So this film IS an oddity ,but a pretty interesting one and very fun to watch and again Bean and McDowall are fabulous .Its a bit of a mess but its got some good stuff there

@countesspetofi @theancientvaleofsoulmaking @the-blue-fairie

@ariel-seagull-wings @themousefromfantasyland @princesssarisa

@amalthea9 @barbossas-wench @filmcityworld1

[annabelle-creart]

Hi

Because I was doing this other something (multiverse storm) I didn’t told you but I had this weird dream last night about a girl that was actually an animal that became human and explored the human world and even met this guy (the guy fell in love with the girl but she didn’t) and the friend of the guy knew something was off because the girl and her friends were kind of… curious (let’s remember the world is like…. A victorian? Like in Little Women or Pride and Prejudice? No, maybe earlier… yes, something like earlier)

The weird thing that got my attention was that when the girl and her friends (all were human) wanted to get back to their home and became animals again (because the world wasn’t that cool and the girl wanted to go back to the valley), they didn’t, not all of them, only two of the group managed to became animals again, and when they came back, the creatures at the valley were all becoming human, and they couldn’t get too far from a magic-haunted abandoned house that connected with a river, the girl and her friends for some reason were on that river or near, and three of the group saw something weird and separated, but something like a force got the, into the river, like, they were on a high rock and the river pulled them, two of them fell on the river but the oldest guy of the group, who was a giraffe, fell hard and hit his head and well… he died :v

When they got even closer, the group noticed everyone was converting on humans, including a griffin that was helped by a unicorn, both really slowly but noticeable were also becoming humans, even someone that was before an owl got out of the haunted house because their nest was there and the owlets were becoming humans too and in any moment they could fell because of the weight, by that moment, the guy the girl met before ran after her because didn’t wanted to separate when they noticed the weird situation, nonetheless the guy wanted to help and did as much to do so, then, the dream ended because I woke up

Wanting to establish an ending, I can say that they indeed saved the place and the animals became animals again and everything was okay :D

But it’s sincerely one of the most weirdest dreams I ever had

Now, talking about the characters because I want to gave them names

Rock - Ingrid, a young mole, half-blind but kind-hearted, she’s a sweetie but because of it she’s almost eaten by a wolf that lived nearby, but survived thanks to her giraffe friend. She couldn’t see the star but wished upon it and because of it, he and her friends were given the opportunity to become humans and explore the outside world, far away from the valley. But ended up being caught by a guy that just liked how beautiful she was and kept her and her friends with the power of money

Gilbert, human, rich, nobleman, he took Ingrid and her friends with him because he wanted to marry Ingrid by how beautiful she was, even giving her glasses for her poor vision and a new name, later finding out how good her heart was and decided she deserved more, now he wanted to marry her to take care of her with all that “she deserves”

Alfred, Gilbert’s friend, he knows his friend is damn stupid and only helps him because he’s also his butler and childhood friend

Rainy - August, the giraffe friend, he’s old and wise and despite he doesn’t know much of the human world, he met humans once, he doesn’t like them but he wanted to protect Rock and the group, his jokes are the worst but he cares, he’s the papa of the group (and he actually had a daughter who left at the valley, she’s an adult but still was really worried by her dad)

Cotton II - Collin, a hare, he’s a pain in the tail and an idiot but he still cares a lot, he can be a meanie but loves his friends and family, and went away with the team because he can’t find his wife, who abandoned him for a bigger hare (and he knows but don’t admit it)

Cloud - Angel, a dove with albinism saved by her family of owls because the other doves didn’t liked her for being pure white, she indeed acts like an owl despite being a dove and yes, she can eat meat, she got accomplished with time until she discovered seeds and insects were more easy to eat for her

The four animals became humans by pure magic, yes, but from who? I remember the griffin mentioned a witch, but I do not remember why they became humans, and the haunted house was really old, and I do not remember why humans, lots of things are almost non existing, but I liked what I saw, it was quite interesting, the invisible force had even the force to actually kill, what was happening? Why did everything happened? What was happening?? Why the animals of the valley could actually talk with humans when they’re still animals? Because Rainy met a human when he was just a kid, he talked, and the humans got scared, humans didn’t went to that valley because animals talked, and why the valley had magic even to have magical creatures?

What was all of that???

And I really want to know more, to, at least, connect the dots

If you have any idea or something, you would help me, but even if I wouldn’t do anything with the idea, I want to know what happened! I can’t just sleep another night without connecting the dots!

[darlingrini]

Can you info dump on Ricky and Darius??? Cant find their stuff anywhere lmao

Yeah Course I can >:3 tbf I haven't written a whole lot I feel on tumblr XD or about them?? I can just recap all the info I have as I can't recall what I've written before:

Darius is a Unicorn King who calls you Starlight. He is a part of a magical world where once ruled a royal family led by the Red Bull King who was tyrannical and kept the other races under a iron grip. Especially the Unicorns due to their magical abilities. After the death of his mother Darius goes on a path of vengeance making a pact with a Eldritch Angel for magical ability's and after decades of training finally confronts the Red Bull Kingdom and basically annihilates the king taking the Kingdom over for himself. However along the way he's lost his grip on humanity and the cost of his pact has left him to essentially become another type of tyrant. Albeit one who much more favors the lower classes and magic. You are one of the servants that once served the old king and is now set to work for Darius. He is allured by your unique nature and dubs you his favorite almost immediately. He is a spoiling type of lover, and one who absolutely desires 100% loyalty and attention and gladly gives it in exchange. He is overly dramatic, absolutely charming, and will not be afraid to lock you up in a tower with the finest things in order to keep you to himself. He will treat you well but you'll essentially be trapped in a gilded cage.

Ricky Franko is your childhood bully turned current manager at your most recently new office job. He's always been a pain in your ass despite the fact you two started off as friends when you were little kids. While to you he appears to be rather rude and has absolutely no filter when it comes to talking to people. He was a sport jock in HS, dragged you to prom or at least glared at whoever you did take, and the two of you only separated once college hit. However by fate you end up back working in his office where he is the lead manager! (not done by him pulling strings at all no sir-). Ricky comes from a very wealthy family which does somewhat mess with his perception of life. The third oldest of 6 children he doesn't talk much to his brothers and sisters. And was often babied by his mother who is a Karen of all Karens. But despite Rickys rough exterior he's actually rather sweet underneath with a love for poetry and honestly wishes to just have a dream romance as corny as a hallmark movie with you. (Which btw he does like hallmark movies he wont admit it to you but still). When he's not being a rude little bully he's daydreaming romantic scenarios and leaves you anonymous love poems and such on your desk. However god forbid anyone else trying to take credit for his love notes as they'll get fired, literally. Ricky is very much a tsundere and while he would never physically hurt you he will defiently be a brat and say mean things. However its all easily softened if you give him sweet words or touch him in anyway and he immediately melts into a shy baby. He has a soft spot for guinea pigs and despite his brutish nature he's actually quite smart especially in mathematics. And while he is a strict boss he tries to be fair to everyone (except you, you get spoiled as much as he can get away with-)

[shads-shipposts]

The chaos continues, and everyone has mad questions. 

Also, sorry for this Debbie downer of an update, but I want to let y'all know. This (ch 8&9) will be the last upload until March, I need a bit of time to process some grief. Today, we had to put my cat to sleep after the cancer just became too much for him. He was our neighbor's cat, but started hanging around us more so we just adopted him in 2010. He was at least 17, maybe 18, so he lived a good, long life. I'm heartbroken, I've had him since 2008, but also relieved because he's not hurting anymore.

Anyway, sorry for the downer of an author's note. I'll see yall in March ❤️

I'll add the links later, I don't have it in me rn but you can find the masterlist pinned on my profile <3

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Allan expected a bit of resistance, but breaking a window with a chair and jumping out it was not on his mind.

Smart, though, as she targeted the one window that didn't have any boards on the exterior. She also set it up so subtly, even Allan didn't notice her plan until it was too late.

Clever. Very clever.

He couldn't wipe the smirk from his face as he watched Shadow dart off into the woods, having full confidence now that she would not try to actually run away.

Full confidence that he needn't worry about losing the lead to Scarlett, because even if he lost sight of her she'd turn up again.

The kid was drawn to Allan and his men like a moth the flame, he realized now, and already Allan found himself thinking about how he could use her to further his own goals. Her fighting spirit, physical prowess, sharp mind, potential loyalty, and of course, the secrets she knew about not only the Unicorn but also Scarlett.

Her lack of self-preservation could be cause for concern, admittedly, but he'd iron that out later.

An inkling of guilt nagged at him for dragging Shadow into the life of crime, but he pushed it away.

It wasn't like he forced Shadow to come to the docks, to come here. Besides, once she spilled what she knew of the Unicorn and Scarlett, Allan could send her on her way. He already had proof she'd keep quiet and wouldn't squeal to the police, so he could convince Sakharine to let her go.

This was not forever.

It wasn't too late for her.

She could still escape the tar Allan struggled so hard to free himself from.

"That foolish, obstinate, deceitful woman!" Sakharine hissed at Allan's side.

Possibly.

Aw, is someone cranky he's finally met his match? You better be lucky this isn't Scarlett.

Though, Allan supposed Shadow's methods of escape did not differ too much from Scarlett's. He still recalled the stinging in his eyes after her "pocket sand" stunt, and still recalled the burning anger that flooded his body.

If he knew then what he knew now, knew the power just beneath the surface, that rage would have been relief she hadn't done far worse to escape.

"You!" Sakharine whirled to face him. "Bring her back to me. Use whatever force you deem fit, but that wench is not to leave the property."

Wench? This is the 20th Century, old man.

"What was that earlier?" Allan couldn't help but ask. "Something about her not knowin' what she was gettin' into?"

"Do not patronize me, Thompson."

Wouldn't dream of it.

"All I'm sayin', boss, is careful makin' 'er an enemy. We have no idea what kind of dirt she has on us-"

Sakharine scoffed, cutting him off with a raised hand. "She made an enemy of me. She wants to be difficult? Wants to masquerade as a boy? Let her face the consequences." He turned back to the window, glaring into the woods and missing the look of disgust Harry threw at his back.

Allan subtly shook his head when Harry's eyes came to him, warning him not to let his temper get the best of him here.

Shadow had the luck of being important to Sakharine, even if it was brief. She had information he wanted, and thus wouldn't be killed yet. Harry had no such protection, and while Allan would side with his crew over this new boss he still had no desire to find himself in that situation.

"Treat her as you would a common street thug who decided to meddle," Sakharine continued, his back still to Allan and Harry. "I don't care if you have to break her legs and drag her back kicking and screaming. Bring. Her. Back."

I'll bring her back, sure, but breaking her legs? No dice. Hiding some minor emotional trauma from the cops is one thing. You can recover from a little scare in a few hours, days at the most. But legs? I highly doubt she'd let that slide.

Allan was no fool. Any understanding and mutual respect between him and Shadow would crumble instantly if he injured her that badly. Bad for business, making enemies when you didn't need to.

And Allan had no desire to lose a verbal sparring partner.

Her stubbornness and inability to take anything seriously annoyed him at times, sure. But when was the last time someone dared to insult him to his face? By calling him an industrial refrigerator no less.

Being surrounded by yes men too afraid to stand up to you got boring; he enjoyed finally having someone who could match his sarcasm and wit.

My skills were getting rusty.

Not to mention he had to always wonder if his men were telling him the truth, or just telling him what he wanted to hear. Some he knew he could trust, those in his inner circle.

Tom. Pedro. Harry. Ollie. Vinny.

They didn't fear him, nor did he fear them, and thus an element of deep trust ran between them like lifeblood.

But the rest of the crew he always viewed with a degree of suspicion. He scared men, he knew.

For whatever reason... he didn't scare Shadow.

Allan just nodded in partial agreement to another series of threats from Sakharine, grabbing Harry and pulling him out with him.

"That kid is psycho!" Harry exclaimed in the hall. "Does she have any idea what sort of man she's pokin' with a stick? We're one thing, he's another."

I knew you were all bark with the kid.

Harry acted all mean and tough, but Allan knew he held a soft spot for kids and teens. Allan didn't know Shadow's exact age, but it couldn't have been much older than Nick.

"You need to tell 'er to stop antagonizin' the boss," Harry continued. "Before she gets herself hurt or worse."

"Don't tell me you're gettin' soft, Harry," Allan said, but slipped a chuckle in to let the man know he was teasing.

Harry stiffened, looking more offended than worried. "Fuck no. Just..." He shook his head, brows furrowed. "Don't want 'er to find out the hard way what violent fantasies that sick bastard has."

"I think the kid can handle herself just fine around him. He's underestimated her before, and that was just her wits," Allan assured him. "Underestimating her before a physical attack could prove fatal."

"Think she's got the stomach for it?"

Depends on how desperate she gets.

"Everyone's a killer if you push 'em far enough," Allan replied honestly. "Everyone has something to flip that switch. Shadow's bound to have something as well."

I want to find out, but not the hard way.

He made that mistake with Scarlett.

Harry remained silent until they reached the bottom of the main steps. "The name. Shadow. It's... really similar to Scarlett's alias."

Guess I'm not the only one rememberin' her lately.

"It was Scarlett's alias."

Harry looked at him. "Think the kid has a connection?"

"I'll eat my hat if she doesn't."

A sudden yelp from the other side of the manor caught both of their attention.

"What in the big brother?!"

Harry sent a dumbfounded look Allan's way, the first mate just shaking his head in amusement.

At least having her around won't be a bore like Sakharine.

"That kid is somethin' else," he muttered. "Go help Neil and Tom. And keep that knife away will ya? Don't need 'er turnin' on us."

"Copy that, boss."

As Harry ran the direction of the shout, Allan turned and headed the opposite way.

Want a chase, kid? Want to play cat and mouse?

Let's see if you have what it takes.

Why are you running!? Why are you running!?

I couldn't help but play that vine over and over in my head as I raced around the manor grounds with Neil and Tom in hot pursuit.

Had to hand it to the pair, they were a lot faster than my initial assessment of them predicted. I expected to be faster, as while Tom had longer legs than me he still had quite a few pounds on me.Stockier men usually didn't have the same speed as leaner men. Neil's torso looked longer than his legs, but he didn't trail too far behind Tom.

I still remained ahead, however.

But, even though I was faster, they showed no signs of getting tired. I should have known they would have better stamina than me, what with working day in and day out on a cargo ship in the 1940s.

Back before a lot of stuff became automated.

Hell, I didn't even think computers were a thing during Tintin's time.

How the hell am I gonna explain my phone?

Like Trevor, it was phasing in and out of existence. Sometimes I could feel it in my pocket, sometimes I couldn't.

That was just proof this was all a crazy dream, right?

Objects in reality didn't just phase in and out. That was some Skyrim glitch material, not Tintin movie material. The movie, fantastical as it was, still had basis in solid reality.

If I was really trapped in the movie, which I definitely wasn't, then all this slap-stick survival and all these glitchy happenings wouldn't be a thing.

We got bigger fish to fry than justifying dream nonsense.

Such as the lack of a long term plan for the outcome of this chase.

They were following me, great, but now what? Unless I had infinite sprint, which was ruled out thanks to the ache in my teeth and the acidic sting in my muscles, I couldn't keep this up forever.

But honestly, I couldn't help being a little shit and causing problems on purpose.

I was like Courage, but instead of the things I did for love it was the things I did for boredom.

Apparently, breaking a rich guy's window and leading his hired guns on a chase was one of those things.

I just hoped the fellas behind me weren't too pissed about it all.

Allan didn't seem overly upset, more amused than anything. Tom had shown an almost protective side by standing in between Sakharine and me. Hobbs looked irritated at Sakharine's threats, suggesting he wouldn't really hurt me if given the chance.

As for Neil, given his helpful advice and lenience when smacked or thrown I'd be very surprised if he turned and got nasty.

Spying a pile of stones half-covered by old scrappy tarp as we ran through some wide-spaced trees near the edge of the thicker grove, I darted around it and put it between me and the sailors as I turned to face them.

Both men were alarmingly close, but the smile on Neil's face eased any worries of anger. Tom didn't look any angrier, just determined and a bit confused. Both men stopped on the opposite of the pile, Tom immediately leaning over with his hands on his knees.

Guess his stamina isn't as endless as I thought, poor guy.

I didn't know his age, but he probably had at least fifteen years on me so him being a little more out of shape was reasonable. He also looked more like a tank, used to taking people down without much of a chase.

"Fast little ferret, ain't ya?" Neil teased, breathing heavy but not as heavy as Tom.

"Ferret?"

"You're 'bout as bitey as one."

I straightened, hands on my hips. "I'll take that as a compliment!" I declared, giving him a toothy grin.

He laughed.

Yeah, Neil's safe.

You mean our brain's concoction of Neil.

Yes, that.

Tom, still leaning over, took a gulp of air and gestured weakly. "Ya can't... can't mean to..." He sucked wind some more. "Can't mean to run all the way back to town!"

Neil chuckled. "Naw, look at that smile, mate. She's enjoyin' this."

I shrugged. "Guilty."

Tom straightened, hands on his head. "Why the hell are ya enjoyin' bein' chased?" he demanded. "Are ya bloody barmy?"

It was my turn to be confused.

"Am... Am I what?"

"Crazy!"

"Oh... maybe."

"Maybe?" Tom exclaimed. "You're actin' like this is fun for ya!"

"Not the runnin', but the chase is fun. Lets me push myself to the limit in a non-threatenin' situation."

"How do you know it's non-threatenin'?" Tom asked. "We could be out to kill ya!"

I raised my brows and pointed at the gun still holstered on his hip. "You ain't gone for that once. If you wanted me dead, you'd have shot me already."

Tom frowned. "And you trust us that much already?"

I shrugged. "You look more confused than aggro, and Neil's laughin' his ass off."

"That's 'cause I am confused!" Tom dropped his hands, shaking his head. "Ya avoid the cops, come 'ere knowin' it's a trap, and ya pissed off the boss despite knowin' he's got us all under his lead."

"That sounds about right."

"And you're not at all worried?"

"I mean I can keep runnin' if you think it'd be better for my health. Not that I'm really enjoyin' this cardio."

"Aw, don't like cardio, huh?" Neil teased, heading around the right side of the pile.

I shifted my own right. "Nope."

He moved left, mirroring me as Tom watched us both. "Really?"

I moved to my left. "Really really."

Neil headed to the middle. "Pity."

I copied him. "Pity indeed."

Oh, I do not care for that smile at all. Think I've seen less concernin' grins on Trevor.

Then, to my utter shock, Neil launched himself over the middle of the stone pile.

"What in the big brother?!" I yelped, darting away.

Tackling my legs, Neil took us to the ground where he rolled himself onto my waist. He swatted my own hands down, lightly smacking the top of my head. "C'mon, martial artist," he teased, weaving out of the way of another strike. "Show me what you got!"

Think!

Planting my foot on his hip, I wrenched his shoulders to the side as I pushed his hip. I had a feeling he let me move him, but a win was a win and as he rolled off I sprang away and darted deeper into the woods.

Climb?

No, trapped above ground.

Over rocks?

No, Neil was more nimble than anticipated.

Through shrubs?

No, if I could charge through them so could the boys.

Underground?

No, no access points.

Only option was to run.

Over a log, around a boulder, under a shrub, across a stream.

Look above the shoulder to make sure they weren't gaining-

The ground vanished beneath my feet and I plunged headfirst down a small gully. I wasn't able to catch myself before I rolled head over heels twice, but I did stop rather suddenly.

Or, rather, my forehead stopped me rather suddenly.

I wasn't sure what exactly I hit, but I did hear a rather loud crack like a firework as the force of me bouncing off the obstacle sent me onto my back.

"Shit!"

Not sure if it was Neil, or Tom, but someone quickly materialized at my side and slowly helped me sit up.

As I did, my hand went gingerly to my forehead.

What kinda Mary Sue bullshit is this? I'm not clumsy! I'm a blackbelt for crying out loud, this is embarrassing!

But at least I had further confirmation this was a dream. Because while I could tell I hit something, I felt zero pain and didn't feel any blood either. Nor did I feel fluid or worse coming out of my ears. I felt soreness, sure, but no pain.

"Holy shit, are you alright?"

Slowly lowering my hand and turning my head to the side, I found Tom staring at me with a worried expression and a hand supporting my back.

I blinked slowly, face deadpan. "Peachy."

"Woah..." Neil breathed, causing Tom and I both to look his way. The brawny sailor crouched by the rock I'd apparently slammed my forehead into, running his hand down it slowly.

"There a reason you're carressin' the boulder, Blondie?" I grunted, my accent coming through strongly.

He looked over his shoulder, eyes wide. "Shortie... how thick is that skull of yours?"

"Very, I'm a redneck with Scotch-Irish roots. Why?"

Neil moved to the side, revealing a massive impact spot akin to a meteor crater with massive fissures snaking out across the rock's surface. His eyes looked about ready to leap from his head as he lifted a shaky hand and gestured at the impact spot with his thumb. "Because you just cracked this boulder into fours."

"Well. That's interest-"

"Are ya sure you're not hurt?" Tom exclaimed, turning my face back to him with both hands as he peered worriedly at my forehead. "Sure somethin's not broke?"

"-Ing."

You are touching my face.

Guess my theories on your hands being rough were right though.

It was interesting, admittedly, how gentle his grip was despite his strength.

Quit blue screening and do something.

I grabbed his wrists and pulled them away. "Quit bein' a mama hen, Tom. Ain't you supposed to be catchin' me?"

Neil stiffened, eyes flashing up to the top of the gully. "Speakin' of that, get down!" he hissed, borderline tackling us both under the small overhang formed by some boulders and shrubs.

I found myself half suffocated under not only Tom, but Neil as well as we all pressed ourselves out of sight from whoever Neil spotted.

I know these guys are both muscle bound sailors and full grown men but damn what are y'all eatin' on the ship?!

Also, which of these two hardened, drug smugglin' gunslingers are out here smelling like nutmeg?

Thankfully, Tom pulled me out from under them and maneuvered me between him and Neil, an arm braced across my front as we sat with our backs pressed against the bank.

Great, now I'm even shorter than them, I thought angrily, gripping Tom's arm and pulling it down from my throat. Damn this short torso.

Ragged breathing reached my ears, and a few moments later I heard Hobbs yell, "Oi! Where'd you lot get off to!?"

Neil elbowed me before holding a finger to his lips. I glanced at Tom, who nodded before giving me a look that strongly suggested I agree as well. Withholding a sigh for now, I turned back to Neil and nodded.

We all waited silently until Hobbs cursed loudly and headed back the way he came.

Neil breathed a sigh of relief. "That was a close one."

I lightly elbowed him as I pushed Tom's armbar away. "Again, ain't yall supposed to be catchin' me?"

"Ain't you supposed to be fightin' tooth and nail to escape?" Neil shot back.

"Touché."

Tom pulled at my shoulder. "D'ya 'ave any idea how dangerous this is, kid?" he demanded, a sharp note in his voice as he shook me. "Do you 'ave any idea what you're gettin' yourself into?"

I grabbed his arm to stop him. "Treasure hunt with an aristocratic asshat who thinks too highly of himself and wants revenge on Haddock for something that happened between the ancestors back in the 1600s that he won't fully cough up, so he bought off his crew to stage a mutiny and more or less keep Haddock a prisoner on his own ship until the time comes to slaughter him?"

He blinked. "Er, maybe you do know," he mumbled, looking away for a moment.

"Hell, think she knows more than us," Neil muttered, crawling out from under the overhang.

"Yeah..." Tom agreed, looking me up and down uncertainly. "How did you know that about the, er, situation with Sakharine?"

Dream!Tom or not, you're never gonna believe me. Not that I really care to delve into lore. I am here for chaos, not substance. Lore can piss off, I want shenanigans.

"Could we... take a raincheck on that explanation?" I asked, crawling out beside Neil and shaking myself off like a wet dog. "Just for a few minutes. I'm up for tellin' y'all, don't worry, but I just gotta, er..." I watched as a cricket scampered off, most likely having fallen from my shoulder. "Figure out how to tell y'all."

Aka, I don't wanna unless I gotta.

"Wait, that means you're stickin' around?" Neil asked.

"I'll unofficially agree with that." I halfheartedly threw my hands up. "Clearly I'm more drawn to y'all than a moth to flame." I frowned. "Though in this case it may be a bug zapper."

"So you surrender? The chase is over, just like that?"

I thought for a moment. "Mmm, nah. Still feelin' a little froggy." I couldn't help but give a short laugh. "Where's the fun in just givin' in without a fight?"

"Certainly ain't done that," Tom muttered, rolling his eyes.

"If you want to feel like you earned your pressgang, we can make that happen," Neil said. "How well can you grapple? Can fight it out and draw the others over with noise."

I grimaced. "Er... not well."

Tom blinked. "All that fancy stuff and you can't grapple?"

"I took karate not jujitsu!" I protested. "I wanted 'em to teach us floorfightin' but they never would due to 'awkwardness'."

Curse what's not in my pants.

"You can't grapple at all?" Tom repeated, a note of exasperation in his voice. He scowled. "Can't box either, can ya?"

I smiled sheepishly. "Er..."

Tom groaned. "I don't believe this! You challenged me this morning knowin' you'd get your ass kicked?"

"Admittedly, I was kinda bankin' on you takin' it easy on me."

"He would," Neil spoke up.

Tom glared at him. "She couldn't have been certain about that."

"So... was I supposed to just give in or not? Because if I didn't know you wouldn't hurt me, then why would I just surrender and trust I wouldn't be gutted and worse."

Tom opened his mouth to argue, only for a new person to enter our conversation.

"Am I interrupting something?"