#i act like i have tumblr employees who have a say in when i can change my url sdjgskjfs. like ill be punished if i change it too often

[starboymp3]

okay. will everyone beat me to death with shovels if i change my url again lmfao

[inkskinned]

they want to talk about mental illness and acceptance and how everyone is a little ocd it's cute and quirky and their "intrusive thoughts" are about cutting their hair off and you say yours are about taking a razorblade to your eye and they say ew can you not and everyone is a little adhd sometimes! except if you're late it's a personality flaw and it's because you are careless and cruel (and someone else with adhd mentions they can be on time, so why can't you?) and it's not an eating disorder if it's girl dinner! it's not mania if it's girl math! what do you mean you blew all of your savings on nonrefundable plane tickets for a plane you didn't even end up taking. what do you mean that you are afraid of eating. get over it. they roll their little lips up into a sneer. can you not, like, trauma dump?

they love it on them they like to wear pieces of your suffering like jewels so that it hangs off their tongue in rapiers. they are allowed to arm-chair diagnose and cherrypick their poisons but you can't ever miss too many showers because that's, like, "fuckken gross?" so anyone mean is a narcissist. so anyone with visual tics is clearly faking it and is so cringe. but they get to scream and hit customer service employees because well, i got overwhelmed.

you keep seeing these posts about how people pleasers are "inherently manipulative" and how it's totally unfair behavior. but you are a people pleaser, you have an ingrained fawn response. in the comments, you have typed and deleted the words just because it is technically true does not make it an empathetic or kind reading of the reaction about one million times. it is technically accurate, after all. you think of catholic guilt, how sometimes you feel bad when doing a good deed because the sense of pride you get from acting kind - that pride is a sin. the word "manipulation" is not without bias or stigma attached to it. many people with the fawn response are direct victims of someone who was malignantly manipulative. calling the victims manipulative too is an unfair and unkind reading of the situation. it would be better and more empathetic to say it is safety-seeking or connection-seeking behavior. yes, it can be toxic. no, in general it is not intended to be toxic. there is no reason to make mentally ill people feel worse for what we undergo.

you type why is everyone so quick to turn on someone showing clear signs of trauma but you already know the fucking answer, so what's the point of bothering. you kind of hate those this is what anxiety looks like! infographics because at this point you're so good at white-knuckling through a severe panic attack that people just think you're stoic. even people who know the situation sometimes comment you just don't seem depressed. and you're not a 9 year old white kid so there's no way you're on the spectrum, you're not obsessed with trains and you were never a good mathematician. okay then.

mental illness is trending. in 2012 tumblr said don't romanticize our symptoms but to be fair tiktok didn't exist yet. there's these series of videos where someone pretends to be "the most boring person on earth" and is just being a normal fucking person, which makes your skin crawl, because that probably means you are boring. your friend reads aloud a profile from tinder - no depressed bitches i fucking hate that mental illness crap. your father says that medication never actually works.

you still haven't told your grandmother that you're in therapy. despite everything (and the fact it's helping): you just don't want her to see you differently.

[graysturns]

𝕗𝕚𝕥𝕥𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕣𝕠𝕠𝕞 | 𝕞.𝕤.

note: hey guys this is my first time posting my actual work and i’m kinda new to tumblr so pls be nice or i will cry ok thanks bye

warnings: idk smut ig

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"babe please hurry up, we're already running late," matt sighs as he shuts the car door.

"i just need to get some shorts or something, i can't show up to your mom's house in these jeans, look at this" i lift the sweater wrapped around my waist, revealing the rip around my inner thigh.

he rolls his eyes and sulks behind me as we make our way inside the old navy in our hometown. i begin to scan the various women's clothing, looking for something basic, because it's too late to go back home and figure out a new outfit.

"will you hurry up and pick one? please, y/n. chris is texting me wondering where we are. they want to start eating without us and he's most definitely gonna eat all the mac and cheese."

i roll my eyes at him. "first of all, never call me by my government name. rude. and second, we just got here, breathe. we wouldn't be here if you hadn't grabbed my ass so harshly when we stopped at the gas station. you caused this by manhandling me, matthew." i shot back.

he sighs again as i grab a few different options in my size and head towards the fitting rooms. upon arrival, we notice there aren't any employees so i pick a stall and wave matt into the small room.

he looks up at me, then around at our surroundings, "are you sure? i don't think they allow multiple people in at once, i'll just wait here."

i roll my eyes again. "matthew! get in here! i need your opinion. this store is basically empty anyways. it's not a big deal, you've seen me naked before. let's not act so innocent."

he follows me in and takes a seat on the bench facing the door. i untie the sweater he lent me and throw it at his face. "rude!" he exclaims sassily, throwing the wad of clothing to the ground.

"uhm, excuse me, you're rude. you're the whole reason we're in this mess." i begin to remove the ripped pair of pants and pull a new one off its hanger.

facing the mirror on the door, i begin to pull the pair of mom jeans on before matt looks up from his phone and stops me.

"baby, i've never seen these panties on you before, are they new?" he smirks at me. i nod, swatting at his hands.

"wait stop, they're super cute, why haven't you shown me?" he looks up at me with those hypnotic blue eyes, brows furrowed.

i turn around, with the jeans still around my ankles and my hands on my hips. "do i need to inform you every time i purchase a new article of clothing, matt? it's just panties."

he wiggles his eyebrows at me, "when they make your ass look like that, then yeah, i must be notified immediately." he places me onto his lap, pulling the jeans all the way off my ankles so i can straddle him.

"baby we're running late, you're the one who keeps insisting, as much as i want to, we don't have time to fool around" i say to him between the open-mouthed kisses he begins to place on my neck.

he starts to take my top off, then gasps. "fuck the mac and cheese! it's a matching set, now i really can't believe you kept this from me." he drools at the sight of the lacy see-through bra, rubbing his thumb over my visible nipple. he yanks down the thin fabric, causing my boobs to spill over. with one arm wrapped around me, clutching my ass, he uses the other to massage my breast, all while kissing my neck. i feel myself starting to give in, biting my lip to stifle a moan. "matt, i-i don't think we can do this here." i slightly protest, but he reaches up to kiss me, and bites my bottom lip.

i'm done for.

he's kissing and grabbing and rubbing all over me and i'm a mess. i can never say no to him, he knows how to manipulate my body to want exactly what he wants. i can feel his bulge through his jeans, and i grind on it slowly, making my clit throb against it.

suddenly, he lifts me and flips me around so im sat on his lap, and we're both facing the mirror. he's unbuckling his belt, then his pants. he wraps one arm around my waist and lifts me slightly while he pulls down his pants and boxers, revealing his dick, standing tall and proud.

he makes eye contact with me in the mirror and grabs my face, smushing my cheeks together, and whispers in my ear, "i want you to watch baby, watch how good you can take my whole dick inside of you, pay real close attention."

he smirks at my widened eyes, and moves the panties to one side, rubbing the wetness all around and then on my clit.

"you normally get to scream all you want, but not this time baby, okay? you need to be really really quiet for me, got it?" he covers my mouth.

i nod quickly, and without warning, he picks me up and thrusts his entire length into me. i hold back a scream, and i feel tears falling down my cheeks. no matter how many times, how long we've been together, i'll never be used to his size.

he gives me a second to adjust, and then begins to pound into me over and over again, my back sliding up and down his clothed chest. i'm watching as my breasts bounce up and down and his dick glides in and out, in and out. he uncovers my mouth, keeping one hand on my waist, and starts to rub circles on my clit with the pad of his thumb, making me roll my eyes back further in pleasure.

he begins to nibble on my ear, then moves down to suck the spot right underneath. as he kisses down, i feel him bite down on my shoulder to suppress a moan.

"matthew!" i hiss at the pain, but it feels so good.

"shh!" he pinches my nipple, causing me to let out a whimper.

i grab his wrist, stopping his movement, and smile at him, "my turn." i bend down slightly, still facing the mirror so he has a full view of my ass while i bounce on his dick. he presses down on my back, sliding his hand down to secure a firm grip on my neck. he curses under his breath, trying hard not to make any noise while i'm aggressively riding him. he places both hands on my ass grasping and slapping occasionally, until i sit back up and we're making eye contact in the reflection. he's rubbing on my clit again, using his other hand to massage my left breast and i can feel a knot forming in my abdomen.

i turn around so i'm straddling him, and continue to bounce up and down. he grabs me by my throat and kisses me roughly, before planting a hard slap on my ass. i move faster, and he groans, grasping my ass tighter, leaving hand-shaped bruises for him to stare at later.

"i'm almost there baby. fuck, you're the most beautiful thing i've ever laid my eyes on." he whispers in my ear and i close my eyes, feeling my climax creeping close.

we start moving in sync, until my legs shake, and i feel his dick twitch, then shoot his load into me, causing me to finish as well, leaving me trembling on his lap. i drop my head forward onto his shoulder, desperately trying to catch my breath

he wraps his arms around my shoulders, kissing the side of my head. "wow, what we just did was probably super illegal, " i laugh at his comment, but then frown when i realize what we've done.

"fucking hell, matt. we can't buy pants now, i feel too awkward going up to the register after we've been in this fitting room for so long, they probably know what we've been doing!" i cover my face with my hands.

"baby that's alright," he grabs my wrists, pulling my hands away from my face. "just put your clothes back on, we'll go back to the car, and you can just borrow some sweats when we get home."

i stare at him, mouth gaping in realization. "are you serious? we could've just done that in the first place! i'm so dumb, why didn't i think of that?"

he stands and helps me put my shirt on, followed by the ripped jeans, "it's alright y/n, i didn't think of it either. let's go home, i'm starving." he smiles at me, rubbing small circles on my back.

"i love you, matt" i look up at him, with red cheeks, wondering how i'm going to leave this dressing room with any dignity.

"i love you. don't worry, i know what you're thinking. just hold my hand and we'll walk back to the car, c'mon." he laces our fingers together and kisses me on the forehead, unlocking the door and stepping out of the changing room.

luckily enough, nobody seemed to even notice us weaving through the aisles and exiting the store. we managed to get back in matt's car without a single interruption, and soon after arriving at his house, where chris had demolished the entire dish of mac and cheese.

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ahh can’t believe i’m posting this but fuck it we ball

to be added to taglist comment here

[yandere-daydreams]

Idk if Sex doll!au Alhaitham has been discussed yet…(honestly it probably has been, but it was likely during the times when I wasn’t keeping up to date with this blog. Tumblr’s shitty search function doesn’t help with finding out either.)

Anyway, I’d like to share my thoughts about it, if that’s okay.

-I think sex doll! Alhaitham would mostly be for professional and academic purposes. He’s not reccomended for younger grades, mostly just colleges.

-His general purposes are office/administrative related. Especially since he’s a “scribe”, he’s especially good at file management and documentation. I don’t think it be uncommon to see him assisting librarians alongside a Lisa model…or maybe helping archeologists/museums workers catalogue info about artifacts.

-I think his way of not doing anything more than what his job asks of him would stay even as an Android. I know that as a product, he’d probably wouldn’t be given leeway or time off like that; but the thought of someone trying to assign tasks to Alhaitham that are outside his designated role being ignored by him is funny to me.

-if Alhaitham is acting as a companion doll in someone’s home, I can only imagine that he’s incredibly annoying. Alhaitham normally chooses to ignore social etiquette, and as an android it has to be even worse.

tw - unhealthy relationships, slight infantilization, slight stalking.

i think he'd absolutely be marketed toward researchers as a sort of lab assistant who acts like you're the lab assistant, if that makes sense. he specializes in archival work and bureaucracy, but he's a bit of a jack-of-all-trades and it's not uncommon to see him alongside more outdoorsy androids like cyno and albedo when you're out doing fieldwork. he's also especially loved by students for his,,, strict attitude toward studying. you wouldn't think the ability to say 'i'm not touching your dick until you finish your thesis' would be such a popular feature in a literal sex doll, but, y'know, what does it for you does it for you, i guess.

you're not a student, though, or a researcher - just a librarian for a big enough branch to warrant writing off a helper android as a business expense. you probably could've gotten away with bringing on lisa or nahida, but you were able to find a second-hand alhaitham for a price you couldn't turn up and figured dealing with the occasional comment on your organization skills or catalog maintenance was better than wasting an extra thousand dollars on a robot that'll be reading to children twice a week. he works well enough, too, even if it does take a few days for him to get used to the idea that you won't be using him for his, uh, intended purposes. it just doesn't feel right, considering he's basically one of your employees - something he's surprisingly indifferent about, considering how judgemental he's rumored to be about, well, everything.

you do take him home at night, though, since the alternative is leaving him in a dark building alone all night and trying to live with the guilt. he's a polite enough houseguest, even if does occasionally let out a disapproving huff at your admittedly less-than-steller diet, but he does have a few... bugs, you guess, for lack of something better to call his little lapses in decorum. he's overstepped his boundaries a few times - taking pens and reports out of your hands because you 'have a tendency to mess these things up', checking on you in the middle of the night when he's supposed to be charging - but he'll never indulge your attempts to confront him, just clicking his tongue and shaking his eyes. sometimes, he brings up your stress levels, mentions off-handedly that orgasms are known to reduce overall tension, but denies that he's done anything wrong when you ask him to change his behavior. he's good at that - justifying himself, bending his protocols until he can get away with practically anything. you'd be lying if you said you weren't a little worried, knowing the awful rumors that spread about second-hand andriods, about how demeaning alhaitham can be when he's supposed to be little more than a platonic assistant.

you'd be lying if you said you weren't a little worried that, one day, he'd find a way to justify disregarding your autonomy altogether.

[miss-oranje-disco-dancer]

i say this all in the nicest way possible, but act your age, not your shoe size.

first off, don't like, don't read. It should be that simple, but for all y'all who can't get that, i'll explain: there is a feature on tumblr where you can block tags AND CONTENT, so if there is a topic that you don't like seeing/a trigger for you, you can not only block the tag, but also block the content. i'm severely emetophobic, so i have content related to that blocked (don't wanna say the word, it's legit a trigger for me). it works wonderfully. if you do not want to see fics about dark content, there are terms you can filter. the internet is a place where people can post what they want, and you need to understand that it will not cater to you all the time. You can curate your own feed so that you can cater to your own needs, but everyone else is not required to change their content to suit your fancy.

in regards to leon and RE specifically, i hate being the "you have to know the lore to read/write" person but (and btw watching playthroughs counts if you cannot afford the games bc things are expensive, and i get that) if you have not made an effort to play or watch anything from the series, i don't know why you feel like you have any knowledge of 1. resident evil and 2. leon kennedy. he is not your "pookie bear", "lil innocent sweet cutie" (you can write him like that and I am not going to stop you! it's okay to write OOC). he goes through traumatic events in this horror series and is a suicidal alcoholic. he would probably not be a perfect father who brings home flowers everyday after work. ALSO HE IS NOT REAL. HE IS FICTIONAL AND HE DOES NOT HAVE REAL BEHAVIORS AND FEELINGS. "he would never do that". yeah, he wouldn't because HE DOESN'T FUCKING EXIST. it applies to all "versions of leon" that you wanna make up in your head. it's fictional. we're all talking about fake people. get a grip.

most of us on this site are adults. if you are an adult, you can consume and produce dark fics. if you don't want to, then you don't have to. here's a parallel: i really like the book american psycho and they sell it at barnes and noble where you or i could buy a copy, but neither i, nor the barnes and noble employee will force you to read it. it's the same thing here.

if you are a minor and you are old enough to get onto the computer/your phone and type "leon kennedy x reader" then I hope you are old enough to comprehend the words "minors do not interact". in fact, you can block the "leon kennedy smut" tag because those works involve sex and are therefore 18+! I do understand, however, that not everyone will heed the warnings, regardless, i am not responsible for putting up the metaphorical baby gate, as I am not anyone's parent.

more about dark content in general: some people write it because it's therapeutic - to those of you who say "it's not a healthy coping mechanism", show me your degree in psychotherapy and then, we'll talk. others enjoy writing or consuming dark content because it's interesting. personally, i don't write dark content, but i do consume it because i find it interesting. i have never found pure fluff interesting. when i was a child, i did not enjoy disney movies. i loved ghost stories, i remember begging my parents to let me watch the corpse bride when i was 5, i used to go on r/nosleep when i was a kid, my friend and i would get her older sister to take us to the movie theater to watch horror movies when we were too young to go by ourselves. all that is to say: i find certain shit boring.

producing and consuming dark content does not mean that you are endorsing that content. capcom makes horror content. do they endorse murder, rape, incest, etc.? i highly fucking doubt it. (yes, all of those things happen or are directly implied in the resident evil franchise). capcom makes the good guys the protagonists and i think that's why it's hopefully pretty easy to understand their intentions. sometimes, people write things where the bad guys are the protagonists :0 - that doesn't mean that they are endorsing the bad actions of the characters. bret easton ellis was not supporting murder, rape, cannibalism, necrophilia, etc. when he wrote american psycho (it's a social commentary about the vapid nature of consumerism and wall street in the '80s and it's a really good book.) vladimir nabakov was not endorsing pedophilia when he wrote lolita - humbert humbert is the villain. if you can't comprehend this, then i don't know what to tell you.

here's another great example to help you: i might reblog content that includes father/daughter incest, but that does not mean that i would do that stuff with my own father. FIRST OF ALL EW, and SECOND OF ALL I AM A FUCKING LESBIAN. I WOULD NEVER HAVE SEX WITH A MAN. EVER AGAIN.

learn critical media consumption and critical thinking in general.

also, if you are telling people 'you're not a real sa victim because you write/like dark content' or 'you're doing harm to victims', YOU ARE THE PROBLEM. most people that i know who have gone through sa (including myself) have struggled to accept that what someone else did was not their fault. it's a huge step in the path to overcoming/coping with trauma to recognize your experience and know that your experience was valid. if you try to invalidate people's trauma, you are actively pushing back their recovery process (for lack of a better phrase), so don't act like you give a fuck about victims! there are conversations that we can and should have surrounding SA, but that's not the conversation you're looking to engage in. i can almost guarantee that none of you are saying that in good faith. you are using SA victims as a reason to police content and i am telling you - as an SA victim - stop it. i understand that some of you may also be victims and i'm sorry that those things happened to you, you did not deserve it (no matter what side of this issue you are on, it's an awful thing and i don't wish it on anyone). if you have not experienced it (I hope you never do), please stop saying things like "this is harmful to SA victims" because it's not your place to speak on that at all.

also, i know some people have been getting rape threats, death threats, etc. YOU CANNOT ACT LIKE YOU HOLD THE MORAL HIGH GROUND AND THEN DO SHIT LIKE THIS. aside from the "moral high ground", you should never be sending that shit to anyone. knock it off. that's harassment.

in line with that, write things that you'd want to read. if you want to read fluff or "wholesome" smut, then write it, and encourage/interact with writers who write that content. for those who are looking for attention, maybe try making content. write what you want. bringing up drama is 1. going to bring hate your way too 2. not a sustainable way to garner attention 3. hopefully not fulfilling for anyone? do something creative. have fun. stop being negative and shitty just to have some weird puritanical circle jerk.

i didn't want to talk about this because I know that half of the people who are bringing this shit up just want attention but jesus christ i'm done hearing people invalidate, name call, harass. just shut up and grow up. i'm tired of reading your dumbass posts. thank you.

tl;dr:

you cannot control what people post on the internet, but you can control what you produce/consume

people creating dark content do not endorse illegal activities

stop weaponizing SA victims (especially when victims tell you to stop) to justify your puritanical content policing

if you are seeking attention, this is a pathetic way to do so

if you want to see fluff, write it and encourage fluff writers to write more

stop harassing others. period.

the world does not revolve around you

<3 i mean this all in the kindest way. i'm just annoyed and hopefully you can understand my reasoning. i don't endorse hate to anyone on any side of this. this shit just makes me want to leave the internet tbh. or like, write for a different fandom idk.

[redbullcateringfiction]

Chapter 2 -

Cantata

Arabella is the executive assistant for Mercedes Team Principal Toto Wolff. 10 years into her career, it looks like the tide is changing, and she's beginning to question her relationship with him. Is it something more, or nothing but an idea lingering in her head?

F/M, Fluff, Boss/Employee Relationship, Romance, Pining, Love, Slow Burn

Second chapter below the cut or click here for AO3

Click here for the previous chapter on Tumblr, and click here for a list of all chapters

(Total: 7270 words thus far)

“How long have you been with Mercedes?” Mr. Wolff asked me.

“2 years at this point,” I nodded.

“And prior to that?”

“I was a personal assistant for an acting agent at United Agents,” I answered. “Prior to that, I received a Level 5 executive assistant diploma and project management diploma at Souters in the Netherlands.”

“What languages are you fluent in?”

“German, Dutch, Arabic, English, and French,” I explained.

“Arabic…that’s helpful,” he nodded.

“Yes. There was a continuous call for an executive assistant in the marketing department who spoke Arabic when I first applied here. I thought I’d be a good fit.”

“You only have 5 years’ experience at this point, and only 2 in Formula 1. Would you be prepared to take on the level of responsibility that this comes with?”

“With all due respect, Mr. Wolff, I’ve made it through 5 rounds of interviews and 4 exams. I have yet to fail a single one. This might just be what I was made for.”

Mr. Wolff looked up from his note pad and smirked. He seemed to think for just a moment, and then looked me in my eyes. “I agree. Can you start next week?”

~

“There’s a 90-day trial period when you first begin. If we decide to proceed, you’ll sign a formal employment contract for this role. If we don’t, returning to your role in Marketing will still be an option. If this role re-opens, you can re-apply in a year. Do you understand?” The HR manager asked me.

“Yes,” I nodded.

“Do you mind if I say something…off the record so to speak?” He asked.

“No, no problem. Go ahead,” I nodded.

“This will be very hard. And you’re quite young. What, 25? You’ve been here for 2 seasons. We’ve only really been this team, like this at least, for 3 seasons. This will only continue to get harder. With Haug gone, we’ve got this new guy. You’re not just his assistant, you’re going to act like his curator with everyone else. You’re going to be the one really driving this connection. Afterall, you’re the one who plans every step of the day. If you leave during those 90 days, you get to take home 50% of your salary to keep you from going to another team. If you leave after 6 months, you get to take home 100% of the salary for a whole year. I’m just saying, you won’t struggle if you get tired of this.”

I thought for a moment. Was he telling me to leave or was he telling me I could? Was this a warning or a recommendation?

“Thanks,” I answered. I picked up my new badge off the desk. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

~

“It’s the end of the 90 days, Ms. Lazaar,” Mr. Wolff said, sitting me down at his desk. “Let’s have a talk.”

I could feel my forehead dripping beads of sweat. I hadn’t been perfect. Not at all. But I’d been pretty darn close. I have no clue what the threshold is for failure. That’s not something I was entirely used to. Executive assistants frequently find themselves doing this for years. If this didn’t work out, I don’t know if I would want to go back to marketing. I had spent the past 3 months in different countries, watching races from the pit practically. I experienced Formula 1 at a level I never imagined. Going back to sitting at a desk answering phone calls wouldn’t cut it anymore. This felt like it. And there’s only so many teams. There are only so many jobs just like this with my skillset. If this didn’t work out…well…I’d probably be at a bank by next year.

“How do you think you’ve done?” He asked. I hated questions like these. What was the point? You already know how I’ve done.

“I think I’ve done well. I haven’t been perfect. The first two weeks were hard, but after that settling in was easy,” I explained, with a small white lie about the ease. Nothing about this was easy.

“Easy?”

“I may have been bluffing,” I quickly gave up. He chuckled in response. Suddenly the air felt much lighter. My nerves suddenly subsided. I blotted my forehead with a tissue.

“Do you feel close to burning out at all?”

Yes. “No.”

“Was that a bluff?”

Okay, maybe I had been a bit emphatic with that no. And perhaps a bit dramatic with my thinking. “A little. This isn’t easy. This is hard. This is tiring. But I like it. I think I might even love it. I enjoy it. Sacrificing a few hours of sleep makes this worth it,” I answered.

“Well, I can tell you enjoy it. I think you’ve done a great job. I’m excited to see what you do with the rest of your tenure here at Mercedes,” He smiled, passing me an official hiring contract. I signed it with no second thoughts.

~

I looked down at my Tinder profile. In several of the pictures, I had put forth an effort to show off my long and dark curly hair. My favorite picture, was of course, first. It helped to showcase the kind of lifestyle you lead to ensure you only get matches you actually like. That picture was of me, on a yacht in Monaco with Lewis Hamilton and Valtteri Bottas. What else screams “are you good enough for me?” quite like that? I need a new one though. This was getting a bit old.

“Ten years, yes?” Toto suddenly asked.

“Huh?” I lilted, looking up from my phone.

“Ten years at Mercedes for you. Coming up, isn’t it?”

“Is it? Has it been 10 years? Oh…well yes. I guess it has. I think in April.”

“April 18 th , to be exact,” He nodded.

“Cool,” I sighed, going back to my phone. I felt a hand come over and my phone had suddenly disappeared out of my view. I turned and Toto had it in his hand. This was the stuff of nightmares. There is no way in hell my boss can know I’m on Tinder. My heart jumped out of my chest as I suddenly went to reach over for it, I saw the screen had darkened. He at least had done me the favor of pressing the power button.

“Give it back,” I groaned.

“You’re so glued to your phone,” He mockingly groaned back.

“It’s literally my job to be.”

“Ah, then what are you so busy with at this moment that you can’t tell me what you’d like for your 10 th anniversary at the company?”

“None of your business,” I frowned.

“Then answer what it is that you’d like.”

“I don’t know, a pen or something? Can I have my phone back now?”

“A pen? A fucking pen? For a decade at a company, you want a pen? ”

“Yes. I’d love a pen. Now give me back my phone.”

He disappointingly handed over my phone. I continued swiping away until I noticed him take out his own phone. I looked up and scoffed, and he chuckled knowing exactly why. I looked back down and saw a profile that stood out. A super like.

Jeffrey, 40

I’m the nice guy your mom told you to settle down with, but with slightly less hair and more traveling.

Yeah, I’ve read worse. I swiped right and messaged him. As I patiently waited for a response, I looked back at Toto. I watched as he looked through the padfolio, seemingly memorizing every word on the page. I had, for a long time, deliberately put my head in the sand when it came to him. This morning though had seemed to shock me, and suddenly I found myself lingering on him. His hands turning the pages, his glasses slipping off his nose, and the way his dark eyes traced the pages I had written. In many ways, he is incredibly-Ah, my phone vibrated.

Jeffrey: Hey! Nice to meet you, Arabella. You’re a secretary?

I sighed and typed out my reply. Not a secretary. An executive assistant. “Fucking men,” I mumbled. Toto looked over with an eyebrow raised. I awkwardly smiled and went back to my phone.

Jeffrey: Oh, sorry! So, you know Hamilton?

If I were the type to cackle evilly, I would at this moment.

Me: I work with him.

Now, to let that fester a little bit. I looked down into my bag and pulled out my schedule and began making the necessary calls for tonight. It’s important to verify everything. First, the hotel, immediately followed by the driving company. I had nearly forgotten and phoned down UBS to ensure that the investors have their meeting scheduled for the correct time. I placed the necessary checkmarks in my schedule that represented ‘Yes, I’ve called them. Now it’s their fault if anything has gone wrong.’

And of course, to top it off, Bombardier. “Yes, we have the jet chartered for tomorrow morning at 8am,” Our private contact, Leanna, answered.

“Oh, perfect. And could you make sure that breakfast is ready for everyone?”

“Yes, absolutely. The usual for everyone?” She asked.

“Yes, and make sure Mr. Wolff’s pumpernickel snaps like a cookie. I think I recall it being a little too lightly toasted last time. Oh, and next week, we have that flight scheduled, too? Right?”

“Yes. I’ll send you an email too to verify all the rest of the flights for the year. But for you, Arabella! I don’t have your breakfast here.”

“Oh, I’m going to cook for myself in the morning. I’m a sucker for an English breakfast.”

“You sure?” She insisted.

“Really, Leanna. They are my bread and butter. Literally.”

She gave me a nice pity chuckle. “Okay, well, Francis will meet you at Heathrow.”

“Thank you, Leanna. Speak with you next week.”

“Obviously!” She laughed, hanging up the phone. I placed my checkmark next to the flight. I looked over at my phone and saw the new response.

Jeffrey: Oh, you work at Brackley?

You could say that.

Me: Yes.

Jeffrey: Well, I’d love to meet with you tonight and talk more about ourselves. What time are you free?

I gave it a little thought. It’s so easy to plan for everyone else.

Me: Does 9pm work for you?

Jeffrey: Perfect, how about Angler?

I’m impressed. And its close! Oh, God. Does he work for UBS? Am I over thinking this? I’m overthinking this. Why would 9pm be okay if he worked for UBS? He would certainly be at this event.

Me: Perfect-er.

Jeffrey: See you then.

I took my last glance at my phone before looking up at the driver’s GPS. 45 minutes left to go. I checked my email and did the slightest bit more work but otherwise enjoyed the little break I was getting. Every so often, I would peek my head up at Toto and watched him do little of much alike me. It doesn’t take long to read the documents I prepare, by design. I watched briefly for a moment as he Facetimed his children and watched his face beam with pride and joy. I tried not to watch for long, pretending instead that I wasn’t listening. Slowly, but surely, 45 minutes turned to 30, and then to 5. Then all of a sudden we were on the move. I grabbed the suitcases out of the trunk as Toto managed the other bags. We headed in through the large omniscient glass doors after crossing the courtyard, and I phoned down to the UBS executive assistant.

“Hello, this is Marie.”

“Hi, Marie. It’s Arabella and Mr. Wolff. We’re in the lobby,” I spoke quietly.

“Excellent, I’ll come down and meet you. Mr. Fischer will be about 5 minutes late for the meeting, but Mr. Wolff is welcome to start.”

“I’ll let him know. Thank you, Marie,” I said, right before hanging up.

“Okay, Toto. Bobby Fischer is going to be about 5 minutes late, but you’re welcome to start. Please actually do start. Don’t linger,” I explained.

“Will do, Arabella,” He sighed. He handed me my crossbody and I slinged it over my shoulder. “Ah there she is.”

I looked across the lobby and saw Marie walking towards us. The world of executive assistants is small, and we’ve truly all begun to know each other. Not all of the driver’s have assistants but Marie was Lewis Hamilton’s ex-assistant. Leaving your boss in this line of work is truly a bit like a break up, and this must feel like running into your ex’s parents a bit. I still get uncomfortable walking past the Marketing department. However, Marie was just like most of us current or ex F1 assistants. She was a hard ass. Much more controlling than you’d expect out of your typical assistant, and if I’m considered demanding, Marie is 10-fold. I don’t know if that management style worked for Lewis, but it's what a field like banking demands at times, so I imagine the crossover wasn’t as odd as it must seem. 

“Wonderful to see you again, Arabella. And you too, Toto. Arabella, meet us on the 38th floor at approximately 1:30. I can have coffee made for you at arrival. Black coffee right?” It sounded less like a question and more like a statement.

“Absolutely. See you then,” I nodded. She ceremoniously walked towards the elevator with Toto, almost like a passing of the torch. I headed outside and brought up the directions to the hotel. Just around the corner really, but I can be a bit silly and somehow get all turned around. Truly why F1 driving was never for me.

I wandered into the hotel and saw the clear signs for the Angler restaurant. I knew it was close to the hotel, but it hadn’t processed it was in the hotel. I walked up to the check in counter while sending off the quickest message to my Tinder date. Have you made reservations? 

“Hello, yes, I need to check in for Torger Wolff,” I explained.

“Ahh, for the Mercedes F1 team staying here tonight?” She asked. 

“Yep,” I nodded.

“Can I see some ID?” 

I handed over my ID and my phone quickly buzzed. 

Jeffrey: Yes! Wouldn’t dare not to.

Oh, perfect. Great. Couldn’t get any better. 

Me: Oh! Perfect! Great, couldn’t get any better! See you there.

I looked back up at her while she studied my ID. 

“Are you with the Mercedes F1 team?” She asked.

“Yes.”

“What is it that you do?” She asked, almost snidely. 

“I’m an assistant.”

“To whom?”

“Who do you think? Lewis Hamilton? Or the guy who’s bags I’m trying to drop off?” I smiled.

“Well, I don’t see you have a room booked here. How am I to know if you’re not just a groupie or something?”

“A groupie? In a suit?” I questioned, before shaking my head. I was trying to shake off what I really wanted to say in this instance. “Check the notes. It’s very clear that I’m authorized to enter his room and to check in.”

“I see no notes,” She smiled. 

“Then call your supervisor,” I smiled back. I saw her roll her eyes as she picked up the phone. Soon enough, a young gentleman walked behind the counter. He had to be younger than me.

“Yes?” He asked.

“She is attempting to check in for the Mercedes F1 Team Principal. I see nothing on here about her checking him in,” She explained. Her manager took a glance at the computer screen, then over at me. He looked me up and down, before going back to the computer screen.

“Is this your ID?” He asked.

“Yes,” I groaned.

“Please, don’t catch an attitude. We’re simply trying to ensure the safety of our guests,” He smiled. An attitude? “I see you have no room booked tonight under the block of rooms for Mercedes-Petronas. Am I to believe that you simply are here to enter his room and then leave?”

“Yes, you absolutely are. Especially considering I have shown you my ID,” I explained.

“Then why aren’t you staying here if you’re with the team?”

“I live in London. In Chelsea?” I nodded.

“That’s a long way from here,” He sighed.

“Is it? It’s like half an hour,” I insisted. “No, nevermind that. I am here to check in for Toto-Torger Wolff. I am his executive assistant. I have a badge for Brackley that I will happily show you. I have no intention of staying at your hotel today because I would like to sleep in my own bed before heading to a whole other country for testing. I would like to simply drop off his bags in his room and ensure everything is up to snuff because that is my job . Nothing else, nothing more.”

“How about you just give us the bags and we’ll drop them off in his room?” He tried to appeal to my growing frustration.

“How about I take the bags up so I can do the other half of my job?” 

He simply shook his head. I handed him my Brackley ID and he looked it over.

“Could these be faked?” He another hotel staff member who came over due to the commotion

“Fur sure they cud’ be,” he answered in a thick scottish accent. “My mukker’s git one for McLaren.”

“We won’t accept this,” He smiled at me again. The smiles were beginning to look faker and faker by the moment. This is the primary issue I find myself in being a Black woman working for what are essentially, sports celebrities. At this point, I wouldn’t be surprised if they turned around and asked Lewis to leave. 

“Here,” I gave up. I took out a business card for Bono. “Has he checked in yet? Give him a call and let him verify me.”

They took the card and dialed the number. They hung up after a few moments.

“He didn’t pick up,” They shrugged. 

“Fine, do me the favor of at least taking the bags then? Up to the room?” I babbled. Words seemed to be lost on me at this moment.

“I think we’ll actually not. We can’t be sure what the content of those bags are,” the manager nodded.

Please. For fuck’s sake. “I’ll see you back at 2:00pm,” I tried to smile.

I took the bags back over to the UBS offices, and took the elevator up to the 38th floor and walked towards Marie’s desk. There she was sitting scrolling through her phone.

“Oh, Arabella,” she mumbled looking up. She looked at the clock, and then at her phone, and then up at my face. She stood up and looked down at my hands. “You’re early…and you still have the bags. Was the room not ready?”

“They refused to let me in,” I sighed. 

“Again?” She questioned. I raised an eyebrow up at her. She was a pale skin tone, and had medium brunette hair that brushed her shoulders. 

“I’m black, Marie. Yes, again,” I stated as I sat on the chairs by the office entrance.

She frowned. “Let me go get your coffee, love.” It was truly the lightest voice, and kindest voice, Marie had ever offered me. She usually gives me no type of affection, even though were in the same career. I think it’s a bit cutthroat and she got used to turning everyone away. I wasn’t used to this type of response from her. She soon returned and handed me the cup of coffee, sitting down next to me.

“Well, I’m sorry about that. I know, beyond all else, I can’t understand this type of situation as deeply and as well as you. Nonetheless, I know you’re good at your job, and that this simply isn’t fair for someone of your caliber.”

I stared into the cup of coffee for a moment, really letting her response process. I looked up at her and her flat expression. A signal of care for her. 

“Thanks, Marie,” I offered a slight smile as I sipped my coffee.

“No need to fake a smile. I would call, but they’d probably pretend they don’t know who I am either,” She acknowledged. 

“Don’t worry. His bags have to get in somehow.”

“So, what have you been up to you? Outside of this?”

“Nothing really. This is all I’ve been up to.”

“Listen, I don’t miss that life at all,” She mumbled. “There’s nothing quite like getting to work at 9 in the morning, and leaving at 5 in the evening. This is consistency. There’s no jetting across the world. I mean, I can actually have a relationship. I’m getting married, for Christ’s sake. That’s not possible in F1.”

“I want none of those things.”

“Is that why your phone just went off with a Tinder notification?” She chuckled. I looked down and Jeffrey had sent a message. I think I just passed you in Broadgate Circle! You must be there for the Mercedes event tonight at UBS, right?

I quickly responded. Yes, actually! Sorry, I didn’t notice you.

“That’s for hookups,” Not for boyfriends.

“Ah, nothing more, huh?” She answered.

“No.”

Jeffrey: Oh! Did you want to push our dinner to another day? Or did you want to meet at the event? I’m a lawyer for UBS so I didn’t see much of the point of going, but I’d be happy to.

Fuck. 

Me: No, no! I’m completely fine with meeting at 9. I’m leaving the event early.

Jeffrey: Okay, great! Sorry if there was any confusion. See you at Angler.

I wasn’t overthinking! Isn’t this the best? Your anxiety being right always prevents it from going too far the next time. Obviously. Totally. For sure.

“I’ll leave you to your work now,” Marie smirked, standing up. “But I highly recommend leaving F1. What’s the plan? To be 60 and still galavanting around?”

“Presuming Toto Wolff still is, yes,” I grinned falsely. She rolled her eyes and walked behind her desk. I looked over my notes for the hotel. Everyone knew I was supposed to be checking in, and yet, nothing changed. These kinds of things seem to somehow never change. But, my checkmark reassured me. You did everything right. Now it’s their fault if anything goes wrong. That’s what it means, and it's a serious thing. 

Soon enough, Toto left the meeting.

“Have a good afternoon, everyone! See you tonight,” He smiled, shutting the door. He looked over and saw me with the bags, and gently pinched the bridge of his nose. “Again, Arabella?”

“Again.”

“Once every few years, huh,” He said, grabbing the bags and immediately walking towards the elevator. I jumped up and followed him. As the years had gone on, Toto had gradually become more keenly aware of two things: He is a celebrity, and I am Black. As a result of his growing celebritas, and my very unchanging Blackness, these types of occurrences had become more frequent. 

“So what was the reason now?” He asked. 

“I look like a groupie,” I shrugged.

“A groupie? In a suit?” 

“That’s what I said.”

Toto rolled his eyes and moved his glasses to his shirt collar.

“How was the meeting?” I offered.

“The usual. Numbers this, offers that. Etcetera, etcetera,” He waved his hand almost at the suggestion we could have a normal conversation at this moment. I took that as my sign to quiet down, and just follow him. So I did. The second we arrived to the hotel I watched as the original front desk employee scurried to the back, and the supervisor made a return. He smiled far too brightly for this moment.

“Arabella, introduce yourself,” Toto gestured to the supervisor as we walked up.

“No introduction necessary. The employee who just ran to the back introduced originally,” I smiled, even more brightly than the supervisor. I watched as his look turned a bit sour.

“Ah, well go grab her too. Was anyone else involved in this?” Toto asked me.

“A Scottish man but he didn’t really have much to say,” I shrugged.

“Oh, never mind who did and didn’t say anything. The point remains. Go grab the other two individuals she’s referring to,” He ordered the supervisor. We watched as he scurried about the backroom and nearly dragged the two out by their necks. As they approached the desk, he hid behind them like a scared puppy.

“I saw that your name tag said front desk manager, you can’t hide behind these two,” Toto complained. The man stepped from around the two employees. “Go ahead, tell me what happened.”

“What happened with what? I’m sorry, can we check you in Mr. Wolff? I’m not sure what’s going on,” The young lady suddenly piped up.

“You seem awfully scared to not know. Let me have an explanation, please,” Toto nodded.

“Well-” She began to speak again but was quickly interrupted by her boss.

“We asked her to show ID, and the produced ID appeared to be fake. So we did not allow her into the room,” The manager stated, suddenly piping up.

“So, did she provide any other identification?” Toto asked. 

“No,” The manager replied.

“Arabella, don’t you usually have a lanyard with your Brackley ID on it?” Toto asked, turning to me.

“Oh, yeah, they have it. I never grabbed it back. Nor my ID for that matter, which they didn’t mention being potentially fraudulent when I came up here,” I sighed. 

Toto put his hand out, and they handed over my identification. A Danish passport and the Brackley ID.

“And Bono’s card,” I gestured. The manager reached into the trash and took out Peter Bonnington’s business card, and handed it to me.

“So, did you call Bono?” Toto asked them.

“We did yes, but he didn’t pick up,” The manager replied.

“Oh okay, let me verify right quick,” Toto nodded, taking out his own phone and dialing Bono. “Bono, hello, you’re on speaker phone. Did you get a call from the hotel earlier?”

“No…was I supposed to?”

“Don’t worry about it,” Toto said immediately before hanging up. He just simply stared at them for a moment.

“Here’s your room key, Mr. Wolff,” The front desk woman said, handing the key to Toto.

“One for me, too,” I smiled. She produced another and handed it to me, with huge screaming eyes that said ‘save me.’ No, I don’t think I will.

“And at this moment, right now, place a note on the account saying Arabella Lazaar is my assistant and any needs she may have related to my reservation should be addressed,” Toto ordered them.

“Actually, could you tell me who made the block for the rooms?” I asked.

“That would be uh…” The manager said, scrambling around the computer. “Um…you Ms. Lazaar.”

“Is this incompetency or is this bigotry? I’m not sure which, but whichever, I recommend the three of you have new jobs lined up in the morning. And when they ask ‘Oh how did you get fired?’ Don’t put anyone from my team’s name in your mouth, including my own,” Toto grumbled. They nodded, and he turned on his heel and walked towards the elevator.

“Oh, Mr. Wolff!” The front desk lady nearly screamed at the top of her lungs. “We’ve upgraded your room to the presidential suite.”

He threw his hand up dismissively as we got into the elevator, as if to say both ‘thank you’ and ‘just stop.’ As we got in he turned to me and took a deep breath. 

“They were quite the group of idiots weren’t they? I’ll call the company behind this place and get it sorted out.”

“I appreciate that.”

“Nothing to appreciate really, these things shouldn’t go this way. You provided everything they needed, and yet they decided to still treat you wrong. That’s on them, and they should’ve known there would be consequences for their actions,” He explained. “We have our own security. It helps when the front desk at hotels also pays attention to possible situations, but at the end of the day, they’re not supposed to go beyond their liability. They took it much too far, and who’s to know if you were the first, or if they’d be worse next time?”

“I understand that, but,” I hesitated. “They still need their jobs, and I don’t want my boss turning around and using his fame to protect me.”

Toto looked up at me, and smiled. “Arabella, we have responsibilities to one another. You handle nearly every moment of my life. In turn, yes, I pay you, but I also make sure that while under my employment, you’re well treated. That would be the same if this were Formula 1 or if it were just another company.”

I thought for a moment, and while I knew he was right, I don’t know how comfortable I felt having anyone take responsibility for me. But…I suppose…everyone needs things addressed that they can’t handle themselves. There isn’t really anyone else for me to rely on. That’s kind of frightening. Suddenly, Marie’s words hit me like a ton of bricks. I almost thought I would get dizzy. I’m 35 now. I love my life, but am I wasting it? Should I be settling down? 

I looked over at Toto who seemed to be patiently awaiting my response. 

“Yes. You’re right,” I stated, a little too shakily. 

“Are you nervous?” He asked as we exited the elevator. 

“No, just stressed, really.”

“You have vacation days. You should take one,” Toto shrugged, pressing the key to the door and swinging it open. 

“I only use them during the holiday break. We’re far from that.”

“If you think of the week between testing and the first race as a holiday, then it’s right around the corner,” He winked, as he opened the door for me.

“Absolutely not,” I chuckled, setting his suitcase on the bed. I took a quick look around the room and then texted security to let them know Toto was inside the hotel room. 

“Looks good, Toto. I’ll head out,” I said with a quick head nod. 

“There’s a whole separate room attached here. If you want to change here, you’re welcome to,” He spoke without looking up from his phone. 

I could feel my cheeks get hot, so without thinking I just ran out of the room, trying to pretend I didn’t hear him. I immediately pressed my hand to my forehead. That was stupid. It was a relatively normal offer. There was nothing weird about that and yet I reacted like he asked me to jump off of the London eye. Shit. I made it weird didn’t I? Or did he make it weird? Was it weird at all? No, no it wasn’t. God, Arabella. Stop overthinking for once. I headed for the elevator and went down. As I was leaving, I couldn’t resist making a little bit of eye contact with reception. 

Ha.

Tags: @daddyslittlevillain

[bugslaststraw]

Overwatch: the art of writing bad stories on purpose

Clocking in at just over 4k words: a semi-coordinated rant on the topic of Blizzard's history of lawsuits, Overwatch'es history of canonical queerness, and the strange marketing techniques that tie the two topics together. Written by someone who got into the game less than a week ago and likes it in a hatewatch "I love garbage" sort of way, intended for those less familiar with the topic at hand. I tried to source claims but it didn't work so let it be known that I did actual research but I'll probably get stuff wrong anyway so I tried to be funny about it here we go:

Section 1: Frat Boy Snowstorm and it's attempts at being progressive.

Try to focus. This is the most boring part.

So as I hope you all know by now, Blizzard is a pretty shit company. I say shit, because controversial sounds too unbiased. Most of us are familiar with the lawsuits against the company relating to sexual assault charges, unsafe working conditions for female employees and a quote "frat boy environment," of which they've been under fire for since 2018, but recently (early April '23 to be precise) they've also faced a lawsuit for sneakily coming up with a way to underpay their eSports champions. (Both of these are easy to look up if you want more info.) However, the company is a giant, that along with Overwatch released Call of Duty and a bunch of other games I don't recognise (fuck me I'm not an FPS person,) and, aside from the money they easily paid out, they really haven't faced any major consequences for their scummy behaviour.

This is exactly what they want, of course: for the whole thing to blow over as quickly as possible. Keep this in mind as we move on. That's the whole reason Section 1 exists: to remind you that Blizzard, like Disney, is a Big Corporate Company that will go to ridiculous lengths to make sure that the actually relevant controversies are forgotten in favour of smaller stupider shit.

If there's one thing Blizzard loves to do more than make their female employees uncomfortable, it's to tote around their progressiveness. Of course, this usually doesn't extend to Call of Duty or any of their more "grounded" "gritty" and generally masculine domains, but Overwatch specifically is a testing ground for all kinds of bullshit and we can't go a season without one billion articles about "Overwatch first game to have character of xxx nationality on playable roster" etc etc etc. People absolutely shit their pants every time the game announces a new queer hero or whatever, because since it's a Big Corporate Company and it's just barely achieving the bare minimum of inclusivity, of course, that's got to be a big deal right? Except of course that like Disney, Blizzard will do literally fucking anything to make sure their games stay relevant and that more people buy and play them, and these attempts at inclusivity can be assumed to be preformed mainly out of a desire to make money and cover up their scandals, and not because the people who call shots actually care. It becomes incredibly clear how Blizzard sees inclusivity as an idea when you consider their viral invention from last year, the Diversity Space Method.

To some of you this may look like a good thing at first, and originally I think it was, as the idea was to keep track of how many of their characters weren't any of these things displayed above so that they could keep that number down, but as soon as someone came up with the idea to assign a certain number of points to each character, the whole concept crashes and burns. You see, according to this chart here, (and as another Tumblr user famously put it), Torbjörn (3) is older than Lucio (2) is black. And I'm pretty damn sure that's not how that works.

No doubt a percentage of the artists and writes for the game had some sort of passion. After all, there is genuine treasure to be found in the character designs, animations and even some of the voice acting. But you know how it is when it comes to inclusivity; the artists so often never get to do more than drop hints and leave people guessing. Which leads us neatly into the next section.

Section 2: This game's kinda shit!

And I don't mean the game itself. Idk about that, I never played it (and my friends who do all have wildly varying opinions.) I am talking about the stories. When I first started "researching" (hatewatching) the shorts and comics for this game, I was angrily wondering why they all felt so hollow. It was like looking at AI generated art, it was like looking into the eyes of what you thought was a person and seeing two camera lenses staring back, it felt empty, it felt bland despite all the good character designs and the lore and the concepts and the colors and the nice clean lines. Something was missing, and it was uncanny as hell! Eventually though, I managed to narrow it down to a few key issues:

A lot of comics and shorts feel like ads above eveyrthing else, they're made to sell the game rather than be good, and they therefore lack passion.

Possibly as a result of this, they operate almost entirely on "tell don't show" rules, thereby feeling even more empty.

These stories still manage to lack substance and they don't really canonise a lot about the world or characters, especially regarding relations between characters, and,

the really interesting storylines are usually left uncontinued or unexplored, possibly due to aformentioned lack of passion and an egotistical but sadly fulfilled hope that people will download the game or at least read the rest of the comics to find out more.

All this put together make for a very strange experience in which you can, if you squint, see the fuzzy outline of a good story, good worldbuilding and interesting characters, and imagine that the details make sense. Which, granted, is usually what people do. If you use your brain or have experience in writing, however, it all falls apart.

Section 3A: Overwatch is a knock-off

Well, not exactly. But it does have a strange habit of borrowing from other games. For example, did you know I'm a TF2 fan? Probably. Did you know each individual TF2 class has an Overwatch equivalent? Me neither, until now. Scout and Tracer, Medic and Mercy, Sniper and Widowmaker, Spy and Sombra, hmm I'm sensing a pattern here, Demo and Junkrat (we'll get back to him later,) and so on.

"That's a coincidence," you say. "They're similar games, of course there are equivalents," you say. To that I says: you may be right. We may all collectively be overthinking this. We may all also collectively be overthinking the Omnic crisis as a whole and why it's so damn similar to Fallout's synths, they've both got robot racism and violent groups who want to kill the robots one of which is in Australia, which is a plot point in TF2 as well oh look at that, but again I'm sure it's all a big fucking coincidence right and sorry sorry I'll stop now.

It is actually genuinely possible that those are coincidences, no sass intended, but considering how Blizzard operates on the whole, I doubt it. They've already proven to be rather lazy with their stories. There's nothing wrong with having similar ideas or being inspired, but when it's as noticeable as this, along with everything else, I just can't help but feel disappointed.

Section 3B: Overwatch is also a porn category

Oh yeah, speaking of never properly canonizing relationships between the characters (and aging their underage characters up to eighteen for hitherto mysterious reasons, and releasing all those horny fanservice skins,) here's an utterly ridiculous fact: when Overwatch dropped in 2016, quite a lot of people didn't know it was a game because there was so much (animated, drawn etc) porn of it that it flooded and quickly rose to the top of the "games" category on most popular sites (hard to source for obvious reasons, but I've had a friend check for me.) It still sits up there, by the way, surpassed only by funny space bean game (I'm not kidding.) Why? Two reasons. One: all the game's female characters are impossibly beautiful and (in every case but like two post-launch releases) skinny and generally conventional as well. No surprise there. Two: the game models are well rigged, high quality and incredibly easy to get at, making it so that people can tank them down and use them for whatever they like without issue. Rumour has it that this is on purpose.

My question is, what has this influx of smut done to the game? You see, if there's one thing Blizzard loves more than making their female employees uncomfortable, bragging about inclusivity, and copying other games, it's pandering. And they pander to everybody, or at least to as many people as possible, usually all at the same time if they can get away with it. This, I have to theorise, is why all the characters seem to be flirting with one another, but only one or two actual relationships are canon. They simply don't want to piss off any part of their demographic, which they force as wide open as possible because money money money money money. This means embracing the porn and making sly references to that part of the fanbase with skins, voice lines, and odd comments in interviews.

Anyway, back to the lawsuits, or rather the consequences of them. You see, canon queerness in Overwatch comes in threefold. This is the story of two thirds of it.

Section 4: Toy Soldier and Knock-off Scout Adventures

This is Soldier 76. And he's gay.

Everybody clap for Blizzard now. It's coyly canonised in a short story titled Bastet. 76 here was never a very popular Overwatch character, lore wise, so I guess this move makes sense. I can see why, too. He's very plain and simple design wise, almost grounded, but not enough that you notice it at a glance. He looks like a plastic toy. Anyway, his queerness wont piss off too many dudebros long-term, since fewer people play him, but it gives everybody else something to chew on, so everybody wins right?. When was Bastet released again? Oh, January of 2019? What else happened around that time? The settling and aftermath of the first lawsuit? Great. That totally wasn't a cover-up for anything. Definitely not.

It's not like 76 is the first character to be confirmed as queer though. Blizzard's favourite Overwatch character Tracer is too, being confirmed as having a girlfriend named Emily all the way back in 2016.

That's good right? I mean, that was before the controversy even started! Surely they did this for normal, innocent reasons and oh who the fuck am I kidding she's a conventionally attractive female character kissing another conventionally attractive female character in a game dominated by male players with male devs and a porn category more expansive than the Bible and we know damn well why that happened.

We can but pray that someone who was in on this gave a shit. Maybe the artist. The writer. Somebody. But this is a barren and cold world and I dare not hope even for that.

Not to mention, both of these things were distinctly one-off notes. It's mentioned once, and then never again, and after 2019 there was a four year radio silence on the whole subject of queer characters that didn't change until the release of OW2. And yet, Blizzard loved to brag about how inclusive they are at every turn even back then. "Look at us," they say, as the characters stare at you from the computer screen with their dead, hollow eyes, "look at how good we are! Please buy our game."

The status quo would change significantly in 2023, however, with the introduction of their latest addition to the roster; Lightweaver. Lifeweaver. Lightweaver? Wait hold on

Section 5: The most annoying twunk to ever grace the earth flings you into the stratosphere

This is Niran "Bua" Pruksamanee, also known as Lifweaver.

He debuted on the 11th of April, 2023, and he's The First at a lot of things, which, of course, made headlines. "First Thai character in a major FPS game" was probably the most common one. I'd feel better about that if I didn't know it's most likely the result of Blizzard trying to cash in inclusivity points. The second First he has is the more controversial one, however: First Overwatch character to be confirmed queer on launch. That's right, after four years of Jack Shit, they're back on it! And, well.

You see, to fully understand my emotions about this you need to know who Lifeweaver is. Despite Overwatch being a game with Mr black-hole-head toes-out "yet another poor-taste representation of DID" Sigma and a football-sized foul-mouthed hamster in a mechsuit in it, neither of them manage to be very funny. Lifeweaver, however, is objectively fucking hilarious, for these main reasons:

His amicable, light hearted healer-character personality clashes with his backstory, in a way that actually works. Lifweaver is a scientist who dropped out of a prestigious academy to stop people from trying to A: steal and B: jail him for his invention: biolight (which is exactly what it sounds: light that grows like plants, or vice versa.) Because of this biolight stuff, he is canonically wanted in seventeen countries and counting. And yet he's so glad to be here, you can hear the smile in his voice, he's kind, he's carefree. And he flirts.

With, like, everybody. Notably Mercy, and apparently he was roomates with Symmetra and speaks very fondly of her. On top of that he's (very) low-key implied to at least want to flirt with Roadhog of all people (can't say I blame him, anyway I'll get back to him,) and, uuh. Baptiste? Who's Baptiste? Nope, never heard of him. Ex-mercenary who regrets his actions and now plays support to make up for all the murder he did? Is what you may be asking yourself. Seriously, nobody talks about Bap. Maybe that's why he's being brought back into semi-relevance now, as Lifeweaver canonically (and smoothly) asks him on a date at a nice restaurant, to which he, unsurprisingly, says yes. He's always been very flirty himself. That should technically make it four canon queer characters in the game, but Baptiste still has some plausible deniability because of his personality, so arguments can still be argued, as they say.

Back to Lifeweaver. More specifically his playstyle. This bright pink healer wants nothing but to help people and further science! His players, however, will gladly ruin your day for shits and giggles. You see, it's become a bit of a gimmick of Overwatch as a whole to let you move your enemies around the battlefield. Junker Queen has her magnetic gauntlet thing, Roadhog has a hook, everybody and their mom have knockback, etc. Lifeweaver, however, can move his friends around. He has an ability to pull his teammates towards himself which he can also use to sling some of them across the map if they cooperate and/or move wrong. He can also raise a platform under any player that tosses them (or their lifeless corpse) into the air. This is incredibly useful in a coordinated team where everybody's using voice chat, eg. the way Overwatch is actually meant to be played. Overwatch is, however, never played how it's meant to be played. Hilarity ensues.

The circumstances of Lifeweaver's release. Here's the thing. On the 4th of April 2023, exactly one week before his release, Blizzard was sued again, this time for underpayment and mistreatment of their eSports champions. Although it's impossible to create a whole character in a week, it's fully possible that at least some parts of Lifeweaver's personality and some of the stuff he calls to canon (we'll get to The Thing later I promise, be patient,) were influenced by this. It's comically well timed that such a controversial character dropped so soon after that scandal, and while the model and animations were definitely finalized before that, any given set of voice lines could've been phoned in on the night of April 4th for all we know.

Put together, all of this is either infuriating or ridiculous. Some days it's one, some days the other, and some days, I'm just not sure. Originally I hated Lifeweaver. He felt predictable to me, a cheap coverup, a stereotype, and an annoying one at that. But eventually I sort of came around, because he got so annoying that I kind of had to respect him for it. From there, I eventually ended up here. And I think a lot of other people, notably the players themselves, felt the same. Go figure.

Section 6A: No scummy marketing tactic is complete without queerbait!

Valuable life lesson: it is very, very hard to tell wether or not something is queerbait by looking at the media itself. The possibilities that the perceived homoerotic tension is an accident, or a hint that's left vague for stylistic reasons, or simply a slow burn, are all present and impossible to rule out. The real way you find out if something is queerbait is by looking at the actual marketing. Listen to what devs say in interviews. Look at promotional material. Et cetera. Because I don't have the patience to watch those interviews, I can't actually say wether what I'm about to discuss is queerbait or a series of unfortunate accidents made as a result of Blizzard's bad habit of pandering, so I'll let you form your own conclusions and possibly go look it up on your own. (And then come back here and tell me about it because I'm so so curious.) I am probably going to go into excruciating detail on this next part. I am so sorry. I can't help but have favourites. So without further ado;

This is Jamison "Junkrat" Fawkes.

Or at least, it was back in OW1. (I promise the full body transparent background image is crucial.)

Anyway, this absolute bastard is a favorite of mine. (Having favourite OW characters? I am cringe but I am free.) He was in the game from launch, and remains one of the more interesting and, shall we say, least soulless characters in the game to this day. Not that there's that much to him. He never shuts up, he's clinically insane as a result of several concussions and a lot of radiation, and he really really likes blowing things up. Together with Roadhog, he's a freelance mercenary with little to no morals whatsoever, taking on whatever job gets them both cash, action, and buildings to explode.

Oh yeah, right. Mako "Roadhog" Rutledge, the quiet, stoic and occasionally terrifying two meter tall shit brickhouse with a stitched gas mask shaped like a pig snout and a massive hook on a chain. Sadly, although he's crucial to the segment, I can't really discuss him as much as I would like to because he has like five voice lines in total (an exaggeration) and half of them are just him telling Junkrat to shut the fuck up (not an exaggeration.) "Stoic, silent characters can be interesting without speaking," I hear you say. Yes, I reply, if they're well written. But this is Overwatch. Never ever get your hopes up about Overwatch.

Anyway, the trash rat and Mr Whole Hog here have an interesting history. Originally, they were simply friends, running around and doing Hilarious Antics™ (that were never very funny, other than in concept.) They feature in several comics together (none of which are very good,) they chat a lot in game and they have their own animated short called The Plan (which is the first Overwatch thing I ever consumed, also not very good, but hey, it landed me here.) And before I get into the queerbait part of this segment, let me just say that studying just this small part of Overwatch tells volumes about the writing all on its own. The tell-don't-show, the inconsistencies, the rampant ludonarrative dissonance... Stars, the comics want you to take Roadhog so seriously. They're leaning super hard into the edge with a brutal backstory and focus on making him as menacing as possible. Meanwhile, in game he, and I cannot stress this enough, walks around ass out the entire time. Google at your own risk. Don't say I didn't warn you!

There is this one voice line, triggered when interacting with one another, where Junkrat says somthn' like "You'll hook 'em, I'll cook 'em!" and Roadhog just sighs in frustration, but then there's another line, triggered the same way, where HE begins the saying, "I'll hook 'em..." "And I'll cook 'em!" In short, fuck you consistency, and this contrast could be really interesting if it was well written. But of course Overwatch will Never Ever elaborate on this, as per usual.

As the years went by, however, things got... A bit weird. Junkrat has always been friendly. According to him, he and Hoggie (he calls him that, not me) are the bestest of friends. And although Roadhog acts as though he hates Junkrat a lot of the time, this is very obviously just tsundere behaviour used to mask the fact that he does really like him quite a lot. But in what way? "Gayass," said half the fandom. "No, fuck you," said the other half, "this is clearly a father-son dynamic." "You're all homophobic," said the first half. "Maybe we are," said the second, "what are you gonna do about it?"

And Blizzard... Did nothing. Well, they did canonise their ages at some point, and there is about two decades inbetween the two (Junkrat is allegedly 25 although I find that hard to believe, I mean look at him, and RH is in his late forties) which one would assume suggests their support of the father-son thing, right? Man, if only it were that easy. First of all, the writing is so nondescript and vague that their actual dynamic doesn't resemble a parental one even in the slightest, especially not on Junkrat's tounge, and seeing as he's both more affectionate and more talkative I'll lend that it's appropriate weight. Predictably, there is also one line that is inexplicable, unexplainable and clearly an innuendo, where if you run Junkrat and eliminate an enemy RH, he'll say something like "I guess we know who's on top now, don't we?" This doesn't appear to be a reference to anything, trust me, I've tried to check. Excuse me while I take a sledgehammer to Blizzard's servers. Again, we can't assume anything's ever on purpose, but c'mon. Who greenlit that?

So, unsurprisingly, Blizzard is being annoyingly non-commital again, so as not to piss off either half of their fanbase. Things went kinda quiet after that. Anything released was, again, purposely vague.

And then OW2 happened.

Section 6B: Subtlety, lack thereof, and the art of applying a metallic texture to a default Blender orb

This is Junkrat, as his current in game model. Sad, right? How they forced him to take a bath before letting him into OW2? How they regrew his hair and ripped off his cooler patches? It's a fucking travesty. People are calling him "Cluttermouse" as a joke now. Why would they do this? They massacred my boy.

Anyway, if you're observant you'll notice he's got an earring now. Yeah, on his right ear. Yeah. What's that? You were on Tumblr in 2016? You remember all the circling posts about "earring on the right ear means person wearing it is gay" posts? You grew up a bit and assumed that was made up or blown out of proportion? You asked your mom one day and she confirms it was a very widely known symbol until around the century change? Some fans must've noticed. Most of them didn't, though, because most of them are twelve. Anyway, I tell myself (and you) that it doesn't actually have to mean anything. If you look at the design again you'll see Rattie here is very asymmetrical, and leaned to his-right-your-left, both of his prosthetics being on that side. (He even walks unevenly, which I love.) It's likely that the modellers simply had no clue about the earring symbolism thing, and just wanted to play into that asymmetry. Right?

...and then Lifeweaver dropped.

And then everyone lost their fucking minds.

Ya see, dearest readers (thank you for making it this far,) Lifweaver, Pink Petal Supporthero McGoodguy, has not one, but two conversations with Junkrat in game. One of them feels fairly normal, with them discussing the price on Lifeweaver's "noggin" and laughing about it a bit. The other one, oh boy, the other one goes like this:

🌸"Are you and Roadhog together?"

🐀"Do~ you ever see us apart?

🌸"No. I meant: are you couple?"

🐀"Yes!! A couple of dashing rouges! Not sure... What you're missing here."

Yeah. I'd lose my shit too. I guess I kind of did, but not for the reason you think. You see, this right here, in terms of pure writing talent, is fucking genius, because it manages to be controversial without actually confirming anything. By that I mean, that because Fawkes said "yes" quite enthusiastically, the half of the fandom that said "gayass" think he meant yes, but because he noped out of that yes with the "couple of dashing rouges" bit, the other half of the fandom think he meant no! This is where I really start to wonder if they called Junkrat's voice actor at 2 in the morning and went "hey bud take a few extra grand and help us record another few lines will you? We just got sued again."

This shit is simultaneously funny as hell, sad, and absolutely infuriating. In reality, Junkrat has approximately two braincells rattling around in his skull, of which he is constantly frying, due to all the concussions. He probably doesn't even know what his relationship to Mako is. That might've been the case, and it would've been a good joke, had Overwatch been a well-written game. Sadly, it's all shitfuck at worst and boring at best, and this latest little oddity just makes me even more convinced that Junkrat and his partner have been banished to Queerbait Limbo for the foreseeable future.

Section 7: In conclusion,

Blizzard is shitfuck company, Overwatch is shitfuck game, I spent at least three hours writing this up and probably more editing it together and in less than a month, it's June and Overwatch'es first in-game pride event drops. Needless to say, I'm scared.

How much time did you waste reading? Did I state fake news? Do you have additional trivia? Do tell. I'm so curious. This has been four thousand words of nothing. Goodbye.

[meowsticmarvels]

hello mcsm community. this is a repost of a long ass twitter thread i made so i apologize in advance if its formatted weird (and sort of disorganized). but heres some of my Thoughts and analysis on radar. i have much more to say than just this of course but HERE WE GO! radar insaneposting tumblr edition. long post incoming (i worked very hard on this)

ANYWAYS!

- he idolizes the new order and puts them on a pedestal above himself a bit. i mean from some dialogue it's clear he doesn't have the highest opinion of himself but he treats the new order smiliarly to how they felt about the old order in thw wither storm arc

- i have mentioned this several times but the "prison radar" thing definitely comes across to me as him trying to overcompensate (and mimic those he sees as "strong" like petra and jack) sort of. like if you contextualise it with how a lot of the characters called him weak an episode prior and it definitely seemed to have an impact on him its like. yeah. especially being thrown into a situation like w/ the sunshine institute and the whole iron breathtaker thing that has Got to fuck you up. idk i jusy see a lot of people take that at face value like "oh look he's being silly" when it comes across to me as more like insecurity ig?

- hes so autism its unreal

but yeah the whole thing kinda fucks him up

ig the only thing thay kinda bothers me is that arc doesnt feel finished. and also jesse can ENCOURAGW him to act like someone hes not??? OH AND. id like to point out this thing also involves him trying to break his own strict patterns which is p interesting to me. by this i mean the "disregard my bedtime! break whatever rules I feel like! within reason!" he seems to feel that in order to become stronf he has to be like. less caring of the rules w/e but the "within reason" line and the fact that he dislikes things being disorganized still is like. he doesnt Want to act like this. he doesnt seem to like thag but he feels iys the only way he can be strong and adapt to such a lifethreatening situation (to act like someone he clearly isnt)

another point id like to make is his relationship with Stella. it isnt really explored past this one scene in episode 2 of s2 but god there's a lot to unpack here

"you'll never change" - has stella... always been like this?  even when radar worked under her (which HAS to be at least a year before s2 bc apparently he's been working for jesse for about a year)

 also she calls him a "quitter" which. 1. has a negative connotation meaning that she Does Not Approve of him leaving 2. implies he quit of his own accord. this isn't normal former boss/former employee interaction though something definitely happened. like theyre both Weirdly Hostile and this is never brought up again....... ehat happened.

also "he doesn't even know how to use a sword" this part stuck out to me but Considering this thing i noticed a few months ago about how the mcsm world is very. survival oriented and people who can slay powerful monsters (i.e. old order) are looked at with high respect. so basically she's calling him weak here which is. Huh. also "you don't know anything" girl what happened.... why does radar feel he has to prove himself like that...

"id be careful about counting on him for anything" what did she mean by this. did radar fuck up in some way unintentionally and it pissed stella off or something??? because something clearly happened and im very sad this is never explored further bc this is a fucking interesting plot point.

also. the last image...... this is so fucking interesting regarding radar as a character because it does actually provide context for the whole prison radar thing. like holy shit this says a lot. the first line kinda shows his insecurity already. he's aware people don't believe in him and think he's weak and a coward, but he's going to try anyway. he feels he has to prove himself kinda.. like "you'll see! i can do it watch!" and considering his behavior in this episode it shows. he's overcompensating for that fear and trying to prove that he can be enough to make a difference. especially shown by how he reacts when "Vos" tells him he's not up for the task. he's trying, it isn't enough, so he decides to mimic his heroes and pretend to be someone he isn't (which... unfortunately half the cast doesn't take seriously)

the second line proves my points more. "im not the person she thinks i am anymore" raises a lot of questions on what happened ofc but there's also the "I can be different. Braver. If that's what the situation requires... I'll do it." and guess what! he *does* do that! a combination of pressure from people telling him that he can't do it and he'd just get hurt in the process and is too weak and cowardly to really do much + the stress of the situations he's thrust into seems to sort of catalyze his decision to put on the "prison radar" persona and pretend to mimic his heroes and act strong to not only make a difference and mean something but also to survive The Horrors . but he doesn't want to do this, that isn't who he is as a person, moreso what he feels he has to do. also thinking of pne line where he says something abojt the "incredible misery in the world crushing down on you". like this is a random throwaway line?? clearly the entire situation of s2 is Getting to him but he never really gets to Express that

now ofc like i mentioned this arc is in no way perfect. it's fucking interesting but it feels unresolved and forgotten by episode 5 along with the other characters completely ignoring the fact that that isn't who he is along with jesse even praising that in some dialogue options. like the writing of this kinda confuses me because everything radar says and feels up to that point implies that it's a façade built to be what others want him to be and as a stress response but some later things kinda treat the way he acts as a Good Thing and like ???? like i get it if they wanted to do the "being more courageous" arc sure. fine. but this doesn't seem like it was simply written as that. he does Not usually act like how he does during the "prison radar" thing and its just never addressed. which fucks me up bc this is personally one of my favorite character arcs of mcsm due to how complicated and insane it is + hes one of my favorite characters ever and i relate to his issues a lot but instead thw writings kinda ????? but yeah. its always bothered me really but to be Fair mcsm was hit by a lot of budget cuts that affected the plot like dont even get me started on the scrapped assistant to the warden who sesms to be meant to be the antithesis to radar kind of... and im p sure some episodes had different writers. so yeah this sucks but it isnt gonna piss me off that bad I just wish his arc was handled a bit differently. might potentially write something or w/e about this but anyways if you read this entire thread 1. you're insane 2. we do a little trolling. follow me mcsm truthers

original tweet thread here: https://twitter.com/rival_trevor/status/1659130820999753730?s=20

[delusinalandpassionate]

Sorry to bother you. I saw that you'd gone through 4.5 and couldn't help but try to make a plea to convince you to join in the boycott of the game going forward.

Project Moon hasn't made a single announcement since the Korean-only notice of the story illustrator's absurd(and certainly illegal) layoff. I'm thankful a lot of tumblr's been made aware, but. They're clearly hoping the situation will blow over with 4.5's release, possibly with many international fans never even hearing of this... this absolute idiocy they've commited. They won't post English or Japanese explanations, they didn't even include the Korean one in the in-game announcement. They know they're in the wrong. It's cowardly and their horrible treatment of their employees and contractors need to face justice. We have to make clear we don't approve of these practices, because if we let them get away with this, in the present, they'll be doing it forever. Their actions have shown all they care for is the capital they get from active users, directly and indirectly.

I realize it might be hard to let go of the characters and the unique world of project moon that you've become fond of. Isn't it the same for us all? But I implore you to consider refraining from logging in, at least for a little while. The investments they get, that keep the company going smoothly, are tied closely to the number of active daily and monthly users, especially after a big update like now. If the international fandom could join in the boycott(not logging in, deleting the game or requesting refunds through the app store and steam if they've spent money on it), projmoon will eventually have to address the situation if they want to continue servicing limbus. I mean, there are other factors such as pressure from news media and the possiblity of a lawsuit from the illustrator, but this is the most definite way.

Projmoon's broken our faith in the worst way possible. They'd rather indulge the outrageous demands of a hate group that antagonised their employee over evidence of nothing and tanked their game's reviews for fun than show an ounce of sense, and personally? Those very employees and contractors seem to have been the heart and soul of the stories I fell in love with, and with kjh refusing to even pretend to understand the very themes his games have been built on, I can no longer take any of it seriously either.

Uh, well. The ask's become a bit of a slog to get through. If you have anything you want a clearer explanation on I'd gladly answer, and if you want to keep on playing I can't stop you. And I suppose it might not feel fair that you were the one I addressed, out of the many, many who are doing the same.

But thanks for reading anyway, because I loved their games, loved anticipating the future stories they'd tell, and kjh turned out to be the kind of asshole who fires a longtime employee over the phone at 11 pm over baseless claims with not a shred of regard for labor laws, and I am at a loss at the absurdity of this entire... thing. I had to say something. Hell world.

To my fault, I didn't think about boyscot as act of protest by myself, and saw people suggesting it on Twitter only when finished 4.5. It made me feel really stupid, especially when I saw graph showing how many people visited game. But now I'm not going to return to the game, at least until PMoon makes an announcement. I also feel horrible and confused, especially with the amount of false information around, which makes it extremely difficult to trust anyone right now. But I'm trying to stay optimistic.

Also hope that at least my mistake, will help people, satisfying their curiosity without need to read by themselves.

[hbmmaster]

I posted 2,809 times in 2022

That's 1,025 more posts than 2021!

209 posts created (7%)

2,600 posts reblogged (93%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@396

@ellielol

@hotvampireadjacent

@dingdongyouarewrong

@metroid-fusion

I tagged 442 of my posts in 2022

#always reblog - 88 posts

#hbmmaster - 53 posts

#cute - 39 posts

#long post - 12 posts

#ai generated - 6 posts

#world heritage post - 4 posts

#tgp spoilers - 3 posts

#girl - 3 posts

#great post guys - 3 posts

#me i love leaving - 2 posts

Longest Tag: 120 characters

#it's because of the scene where the employees of warioware seize the profits wario made from their unpaid labor by force

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

6,645 notes - Posted November 4, 2022

#4

mario movie predictions

(for context I’m writing this before the trailer has been released)

this will not be a “good movie”

unfortunately, it also won’t be bad in interesting ways

you’ll definitely be able to tell that many people who worked on this care about the source material. background details will be filled with deep-cut references to things from across the whole franchise, including things nintendo hasn’t acknowledged in decades

those will be completely overshadowed by the lore references in the script, which are the most Dorkly-ass nostalgia bait “hey remember Mario?” type gags a committee of soulless writers could come up with

it’s (at least partially!) an origin story, obviously, but they’re not allowed to deviate from established “canon” enough to come up with anything interesting. the best they can do is reference relatively lesser-known games like Wrecking Crew. they won’t reference Mario Bros. (Game & Watch) because they’re cowards.

it’s a comedy, but they only have like five good jokes. all five of those jokes will be featured in the trailer, so a bunch of people who don’t know how trailers work will think it looks good

the majority of the gags are jokes you’ve heard a million times before. peach sure gets kidnapped a lot! did you know mushrooms are also drugs? if you’re the Mario Brothers does that mean your name is Mario Mario? hey what if “cake” is a euphemism for something!! mario eats mushrooms he’s on shrooms get it

chris pratt’s mario voice is okay. it sounds kinda like mario’s voice in hotel mario, but with less personality

charles martinet’s cameo is as mario. the first time mario says something, it’s in martinet’s voice, then he clears his throat and has a more boring voice for the rest of the movie

princess peach girlboss moments

there’s a “mario is a bad brother” subplot. mario mistreats luigi consistently, and it’s not resolved by mario growing as a person it’s resolved by luigi doing something cool and “earning” mario’s respect

coincidentally mario DOES grow as a person, when he eats the super mushroom : )

in accordance with the Post-Frozen Law of Animated Villains, there will be a surprise bad guy reveal. there are several ways this could go:

bowser as a villain is played straight for the first act, then mario rescues peach and that’s the end of the Origin Story portion. afterwords, the REAL villain comes in, and the gang has to team up with bowser to stop them! and that real villain, of course, is

Foreman Spike, from Wrecking Crew

Donkey Kong

Yoshi (revenge for being thrown into pits)

Wario (wahahahaha)

Luigi (mario is a bad brother subplot final form)

Waluigi (featuring meta jokes about how waluigi hasn’t been in enough games)

Peach (girlboss moments)

ALTERNATIVELY, one of the above is the villain at first, then there’s a third-act twist that. bowser is the villain.

there will be one shot, somewhere, where the super crown powerup appears in the background along with a bunch of other items, and people on twitter will freak out about how this is a canon reference to bowsette

7,287 notes - Posted October 4, 2022

#3

Do you have tips for how to familiarize yourself with the tumblr ui for those migrating from twitter

Remember, if you like a post, it's important to share it with your followers so they can see it too!

(Sharing a post, huh? I think I can do that with the Reblog button...)

The Reblog button is located at the bottom of a post. Be sure to press it whenever you want to share a post! Your likes are not automatically shown to your followers, so pressing the like button alone isn't enough.

7,928 notes - Posted April 25, 2022

#2

baba, tbh, and soweli are the same aminal I think

16,529 notes - Posted August 31, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

THERE IS NO EASTER BUNNY

31,684 notes - Posted September 8, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[mythicaldemigoddess-of-deltarune]

Hazbin Hotel x Helluva Boss Theory: The Soul Contract Partnership Part 2

[Note: Reading This Post Is Optional..also Spoilers ahead, make sure you watch the Season 1 Episodes of Hazbin Hotel before reading this. also this is for Mature Audience Readers Only...and some parts of this will get off topic but will eventfully go back to talking to the soul contract partnership theory. like one of the off topics will be about the misuse of spanking and how some parents who don't use it, can have fear of doing more harm than good because they know they will end up misusing it which they do make the right choice not using it, because they know they might end up misusing it...and yeah the discussion of that will also be about some Sinners as well. ]

first I want to say before I get to Part 2 of this Soul Contract Theory...

I feel a whole lot better than how I was feeling many hours ago and even yesterday, I mean yeah the first problem was me not being able to get to sleep, as I may have mentioned before...

I was trying my best to go to sleep, but I was having trouble doing so, so since I couldn't go to sleep I decided to just snack on some ice cream and then some time later I wanted to get on tumblr but I think what happen before on January during my last post during that time, and when I had tried to log back on to fix the post, so I can add what I needed to add, because there was a word I forgot to put and well I'm glad this month of February I was finally able to fix it...

but anyway during that time when I did try to log back in to fix that post, the connection still kept going off and on, so I couldn't fix it and decided to wait another time...and well like I said before, I think what happen may have messed up my original password, and well it had been a stressful and not so great day yesterday...

even after all that had happen, and I finally got a bit of a good day and I was finally able to post the new drawings I did and even some fan theories, I even made sure to check to see if the new password work, and so far it's doing perfectly okay.

I was able to get a lot of sleep even after having trouble going to sleep before, and yeah the whole my having trouble sleeping and added to what was going on with my trouble getting on here, it was not really a good day during that time...but at least it did get better.

I feel really great after finally getting some sleep, I think I will try to eat a lot of food in a little after this, I know that some time after I got up from finally getting some much needed good sleep, I had snacked on some ice cream, but I might need something more than that in a little bit...

anyway on to the whole theory...

if ya read Part 1 of this, and well sometime I should have links for the parts that goes from the previous to the next parts...well hope it can work...

anyway we know that in Hazbin Hotel Universe, we know that Overlords can end up owning a soul by the ways of a Soul Contract, which might not really have any true equal mutual bond between the one who holds the chain to the poor soul that they own.

it could be possible that some Overlords, despite owning the soul or souls of those that they get through a Soul Contract...

will be less cruel unless the said soul crosses a very bad line.

one of the ways would be if the said Sinner purposely put Carmilla's daughters in danger, if the said Sinner's Soul is owned by Carmilla, she could treat them like a Employee and be possibly neutral to them, like only scolding them like a boss, and the only time Carmilla might act even crueler to her Employees who she owns the souls of...

is if they cross a line, and one of those lines besides stealing from her, would also involve her daughters.

even if Overlords might seem very powerful from normal Sinners, but it could be possible that the Overlords wouldn't just be Sinners but also Hellborns as well, and we have learned from one of the new episodes of Hazbin Hotel...

it can be possible for a Overlord to end up having their Soul owned by another Overlord, by not just a normal Soul Contract, but possibly by Soul-Binding.

Husk use to be a Overlord, and it might be true that he doesn't just have a Soul Contract with Alastor, but a Soul-Binding that Alastor could enforce if Husk gets Alastor really REALLY mad.

even if Husk can get away with certain remarks to Alastor, but if Alastor is truly having a bad day and might not be in the mood to hear them, and if the said remark happens to be a very sensitive topic such as it turning out that Alastor also having his chain held by someone else...of course Alastor will become even more scary and cruel to Husk, but from what we saw on how he handled those Shark Demons...

in comparison what he did to them and how he snap at Husk, it could be possible that Alastor was holding back a lot more of his aggressive side to Husk, and if he let it all out, he might of ended up causing more damage than just scaring Husk.

it could be possible Alastor making some Overlords disappear, save for the current ones...including himself and Ex-Overlord Husk.

might of been by orders of the one who holds Alastor's Soul on a chain...which in theory, I think could be Charlie's Mom Lilith who is holding the chain to his soul...

it would mean that it wouldn't be just the Overlords that can own another Overlord's Soul.

Lilith outranking Overlords, could mean she was able to use her power on Alastor and make him succumb to her will, if not by force then by some kind of tricking him into it, which would still be forcing him into a Soul Contract that is very powerful than the soul contracts that Overlords normally have on other Sinners and possibly Hellborns.

Hellborns being under Soul Contract could be very Rare, but it could be possible that not many Hellborns live in Pentagram City.

even if they have separate stories in two different shows, they possibly still do live in the same universe...

Blitz, Moxxie, Millie and Loona live in Imp City, which while being in the same ring as Pentagram City, but might be some miles away from Pentagram City and isn't very close to it or like a city within the Pentagram City.

it could be possible that the Elevator that takes Hellborns to different Rings, from the Pride, Wrath, Gluttony, Greed, Lust, Sloth and Envy...

I still think one of the problems of the overpopulation of Hell, which is only by the Pentagram City in the Pride Ring, is not only by how Heaven in that universe is run...but also because the Human Souls that become Sinner Demons, were never meant to just stay in the Pride Ring...

and as much Lucifer from the show seems more likable than the one from our universe...all though some might disagree about the one from our universe being not very likable...

but if I was able to, I would give Charlie's Dad the cold hands to face punishment for his remark about how Sinners are violent...

even if his sad but sweet side might make me want to hug him.

but him implying that it is only Human Souls that become Sinners when they end up going to Hell, being the only ones who get violent and act like cruel monsters, is a bunch of bull slag.

even if Adam became a Angel in that universe, but him having been Human once and became a Angel, and would kill Sinners who aren't really 100% evil, can show that some Angels can be just as bad as some Humans, even former humans turned angels.

even if some form of extermination could be used, even if Charlie and Emily might still hate it, but if such a thing could used in the right way and not just by how Adam, Lute and the rest of the Exterminators ran it...

it could be possible that the extermination/cleansing can become more selective...and not be like how Sera wanted to do it by stopping a so called "uprising" from the Sinners.

there could be a way to make the whole Extermination to be different, even if it might not really happen in the show, but it could be possible in theory, and yeah I will get back to the whole Soul Contract theory...

a Sinner in their life on Earth, would of had to do something truly evil and very VERY terrible to earn to be exterminated and send to possibly Double-Hell, which for all we know could be real and much worse than the current one that the Sinners and Hellborns live in.

laying a harmful and sinister hand on a child, is one of the ways a Sinner would deserve to be exterminated...

but it would have to be the type that crosses a very dangerous line.

even if a child still needs a spanking when it truly calls for it, but at times the spanking isn't necessary, and there can be better ways other than spanking, but it doesn't mean even the other ways will be good, and it might cause emotional harm just as much as the misused spanking.

the problem with those who are fully for spanking and fully against it, don't get that there needs to be times when it can be used the right way but also to not do it all the time and not do it unnecessary, and you NEVER put full strength into it.

one of the problems of spanking, is that some who use it end up misusing it, possibly without realizing it or they realize too late.

Raising Hope, had put a bit rumor to it, which it be nice if parents did do that kind of thing as a alternative, like it's good that Hope didn't get spanked but I guess even if she did, she would only get a light slap on her bottom, even some human beings should know better than to do a spanking that uses a bit more strength and would be more than one slap to the bottom...

you NEVER do that to a baby, even if the baby is a year old or a toddler, but even if your child gets a bit older, doesn't mean you should raise the level of strength to the spanking...

there is such a thing as self control, and while I might not fully for spanking, but the problem with spanking is that it isn't used the right way, and can be misused, and both those who are and aren't for that, need to understand that you only use it when it is really necessary and not misuse it, if a child is being super out of control and might end up doing something dangerous, but there could be some better ways than using spanking even if it could be a last resort, and should never be misused, it's one thing to spank but you should never take it too far when it becomes close to beating...

if a Sinner crossed a line with their own child when they were alive on Earth, which resulted in the child being injured from a beating that crossed a line, and it wasn't from spanking, then yes, if the beating crossed a line, and it was on purpose, then yeah, the Sinner would be on the list to be exterminated.

if parents who are scared of using spanking to teach their child not to misbehave that crosses a line, then they don't have to, because it could be possible they can be scared of the possibility they might misuse the spanking and hurt their child or children which their fear is understandable, plus it means they truly love their child or children and don't wish to cross a line if they believe they might not be able to hold back and might do more harm than good when they do spank.

spanking is only fully bad if the hand that uses it, ends up misusing it and up crossing a very bad line that can cause physical and emotional harm.

Charlie and Emily have a right to not love the Extermination, because it is wrong to do those extermination which while it does have to do with the overpopulation, it is also to stop the so called uprising...

I wouldn't be surprised if Sera is a Eon-Silent Generation, Charlie's Dad might be a lot younger than Sera, and can still be called a Eon-Boomer...

Vaggie being a Angel and being a former Exterminator is awesome, you know like it being a surprised, and one of the reasons Vaggie's wings grew back, was possibly because of Love, but it might been a mix of wanting to fight the other Exterminators to protect the one she loves, to protect the hope and dreams of the one she loves.

Vaggie can still be a Angel, but it doesn't mean she should go back to the old life she had and she has shown she has true compassion and would never harm a child, but we know it was her act of compassion and letting her guard down, she was harmed by Lute by losing a eye and her original wings to her...

Vaggie singing that she will be Charlie's Armor, while Carmilla sings she will be her daughters keeper...

could be seen as Vaggie being Charlie's Knight, if there were Angelic Knights, they could have some morals to never harm a child, just like Vaggie who let the child who was possibly from Cannibal Town, make a run for it.

if Exterminators can be better and not be just violent psychos, then Vaggie is living proof that some Exterminators can become better and can change how Exterminations are done...

like exterminations wouldn't just be a day where the Exterminators would go after every Sinner they see on sight, they could be given a list and only go after certain ones, ones who are on level 100 evil that can't truly be redeemed.

if I have to guess, Alastor and most of the other Overlords wouldn't be at 100, but could be around a 98 while most could be like chaotic neutral.

the list for those who under the bounty to become cleansed, would of had to do something that crossed a very dangerous line that goes beyond the small or big reasons some Sinners ended up going to Hell in the first place...

it could be possible some of the Sinners who were send to Hell in Hazbin Hotel/Helluva Boss, were send there wrongfully, even if they weren't perfect or didn't do as much good deeds or went to church or had stop going at some point, it doesn't mean they are a bad person.

I still think the Hell from our universe, wasn't always a place of torment, but possibly had a different name and was part of the Earthly Queendom, but even if I do talk about that possibility, it isn't like many would believe it or think it is linked to the imbalance between the Divine Masculine and Feminine energies, and yeah it could be possible that what we know is "Hell" is placed under a very strict quarantine from the rest of the domain of the Earthly Mother.

women having rights to vote, is possibly one of the proofs that the balance between the Masculine and Feminine is getting better, even if it does turn out it is still in a fragile state.

and yeah the Toxic-Masculine energy is very dangerous, and we also have to deal with Toxic-Feminine energy now too, but it isn't as highly dangerous as the Masculine one, which it is a good thing it isn't at the same level.

a Soul Partnership Contract could of been something that was lost or never truly discovered as alternative from the type of Soul Contracts where a Overlord can own someone's soul.

the Soul Partnership Contract could use rings instead of chains, and it could be possible that such a contract would have the rings be in different places on the fingers depending if the bond of the contract is platonic or romantic.

the parties that are involved can have their rings on the middle finger for the sign of the soul partnership being platonic, the rings that end up on the wedding fingers will be a sign that the soul partnership being romantic and it can be choice for those who end up in a soul partnership contract to get married either on the same time the contract is formed or much later on.

it can be possible for Polygamous Soul Partnership Contracts to be formed, but all those involved in it will have to be in agreement and not just one or two of the parties of the soul partnership contract.

if two of the parties or even three or more leave out one of the other party that was also part of the contract out of the loop and they didn't know what was going on, it could cause the soul partnership contract to become broken and all parties involved in the contract will no longer have their souls bonded together and they would have to re-do the contract, but it could have them needing to do a test to show their loyalty, if they go behind each others backs in a way again without making sure all those who they are soul bond are in agreement of adding another to the soul partnership contract, then they will no be allowed to form another soul partnership contract for a super long time, and if they do break that rule more times even after being suspended for a decade or century, then they will never be allowed to form a soul partnership contract again...

if one only has one soul-partner, and if the soul-partner ended up having their life taken by a Exterminator, then yeah it can be possible they can choose to find another soul-partner but only if they wish to do so.

a Soul-Partner could feel their partners pain, but it would have to be a very open and strong connection, all parties who are bonded by the Soul Partnership Contract, can of course still feel their own pain either physical or emotional.

but the situation where one or both soul-partners being able to feel the others pain would have to be under a extreme situation.

it could be possible that if Frederick Von Eldritch and Bethesda Von Eldritch are Co-Overlords, and are married, they could in theory be in a Soul Partnership Contract with each other.

it could also be possible that Lucifer and Lilith can form such a contract with each other, but had never done so even when they had married and even when they became separated.

if Carmilla and Zestial were in a Soul Partnership Contract with each other, it could possibly be platonic, but even in the platonic contract, being able to feel the other's pain either physical or emotional when it is extreme is still possible.

in theory if Soul Partnership Contract was real, it would be very ancient and sacred ceremony and if such a thing was part of the Hazbin Hotel/Helluva Boss Universe, then it would be respected by those like Zestial who has been around for a super long time and could know that such a contract is a precious and sacred ceremony, because it wouldn't just be a Overlord owning a soul, because there is no true ownership in the contract, because it is a equal partnership between both souls, who end up being bonded for all their afterlife.

or in Hellborns cases, all their life, and if a Human Soul or a very powerful Overlord were to form a Soul Partnership with a Imp, the bond could end up expanding the lifespan of the Imp meaning they will live much longer so as long as their Soul-Partner does.

in theory, if Husk and Alastor had formed a Soul Partnership Contract that was platonic, it could be possible Husk would of ended up staying a Overlord, or could become one again if he formed a Soul Partnership Contract with Alastor.

like even if one wasn't a Overlord before, they could become one if they form a Soul Partnership Contract with a Overlord.

Vox and Valentino could of became Overlords thanks to Velvette, who in theory could of formed a Soul Partnership Contract with Valentino and Vox, even if it is platonic, with only Vox and Valentino being romantically involved with each other.

if Valentino and Vox who weren't originally Overlords but became that way because of a Soul Partnership Contract with Velvette, would of had their powers become stronger to a Overlord level.

and in theory if a Overlord were to form a Soul Partnership Contract with a Royal, their rank could change from Overlord to the same rank as the Royal they form a Soul Partnership Contract with.

so like if Vox ended up forming a Soul Partnership Contract with let's say Charlie, even a platonic contract, it could end up causing Vox to go from Overlord to Vox to his Royal Highness Prince Vox.

and even if the characters from both Hazbin Hotel and Helluva Boss were real in this universe, I'm not even sure if I would outrank a Overlord...

I mean I know from the info I ready before, both O RH D Negative and O RH D Positive blood types are Ancient blood types.

and yeah the whole finding out I'm a Earth Angel, well a Defective type, and being descended from some Royalties is a surprise, I had that whole "Earth Angel Princess" pop into my head, and yeah I'm not sure if there are other Earth Angels who could be Earth Angel Princes or Princesses, plus Earth Angels could have different blood types that wouldn't just be RH Negative or even RH Positive.

and for all I know, there could be other Earth Angel Princesses and some Princes, who outrank me.

I use gems to protect me from harmful energies, but also to act as sealing charms and limiters so I don't end up like Alessa from Silent Hill or Carrie from the Carrie Movie Series, like I can still like both series, but I still think I wouldn't be able to handle or control the same powers they have.

I still think the pendulum had unlocked something when I had started to use it more, I haven't been using as much as before which might be a good thing, I can use it once in a while but can try not to use it too much.

the first time I held a pendulum it started to go all crazy, and I wasn't even telling it to, it was moving like crazy all by itself while I was holding it and I had put it away because it freaked me out.

I'm okay with using the pendulum now, and I had learned I can move it how I want to and well then I learned I could program it to move by "Yes" or "No" or "Maybe" way and it wouldn't always be from my thoughts, like even if I tell it to move one way, it will keep moving the opposite, of course then there is the whole prank thing that happens...and well I think it is good that I'm making sure not to use it too much and take breaks from it.

even if I am able to have my gem bracelets act as sealing charms and limiters, it could be possible if I do take them off and hold a pen or a bottle by a lid, they will end up moving a bit like my pendulum.

the acceptation to it seems to be necklaces like a locket or like a thread type necklace with a gem...which I'm fine with that, so long as it isn't like a bottle of soda or a pen or any other item as well.

I also had to re-do the whole program on the bracelets when I had to take one of them off once because one of them was becoming too snug, so now even if I have to take them off either being one or all of them, they should still work on making sure when I do hold something with my hands or just by the fingers, they wont move by my thoughts, well unless I guess it is a necklace like a locket or a type of necklace that is made out of a thread and has a gem.

and right now I decided to check if that freaky thing still happens with that modern radio, turns out it still does, which could mean it still might happen once in a while.

I turn the radio on right now, and I have it on my bed, and right now it is playing perfectly....but if I point my fingers to it well it isn't doing it now, but it did it when I had checked a few minutes ago, it going all static, like moving my hand and fingers close like pointing and away, like it going back to normal when I pull away and it goes to static when I point my fingers close...I guess it is a thing that only happens once in a while.

well now when I changed to something else, the signal only gets better and green light only comes on when I point my hands to it and stays that way if I keep my fingers pointed to it but if I take it away the green light goes off and the signal becomes poor again.

well it seems like it is doing fine now, the signal is doing fine without me now...wait now it's back to being poor...

let me check and, okay I changed it to a different station by turning one of the switches...I'm holding it and it seems to be playing perfectly. I'm gonna put it back down and hopefully it will still have a good signal...okay so far so good.

I think it could be possible it will act that way with me only once in a while...still might remind me of Alastor, but at least that isn't on the same level as Alastor's powers.

a love song is playing at the moment though, some song that has the lyrics that go "I can love you like that." I might look it up some time, I think I have heard it before but I don't think I can remember who sings it, maybe they will say who it is on the radio.

or not, they didn't say who sang that song...

but now "Every Breath You Take" is playing now.

anyway back to the whole soul partnership contract theory, it could be possible that if Blitz and Stolas formed a Soul Partnership Contract, it could let Blitz have some of the same powers as Stolas

and it could give something to Stolas as well, something that Blitz would have the abilities of.

I'm going to make a part 3 of this, I'm going to go grab something to eat right now, even though some hours ago which would be around last night before and end up early morning, I wanted to eat something more before I went to sleep, but I really needed some sleep, cause once again I had trouble getting to sleep before...even if my trying to go to sleep involved me trying to use a spell that needs me to go to sleep, but I might have to re-try the spell once again...

I'm going to try to stay determined and keep trying to do that spell I found, because I want to do some Astral Travel to another Universe that is in a different dimension and reality.

weird love songs keep playing, now it's "Never Going To Give You Up."

anyway I will write part 3 of this theory after I eat some food. :)

and also there is a good reason I want to use the spell to get away, even if my body would still be sleeping in this universe and the spell would still have ya come back here...well I can talk about my reasons later...I gotta go get some food now.

[xsoulxsilencex]

I was thinking for a while how I should handle my (critical) thoughts on ep 95 on tumblr. And I decided that I will use the tags and simply hide my explanation under "keep reading" so you can choose to continue reading or stop already. Maybe some will end up agreeing with me, others might disagree and think "man, you missed the point/you don't get it" - which is fine.

So what to say about ep 95? Firstly, my opinion hasn't changed after watching it with subs: I didn't cry, I wasn't even really sad which might be weird considering I do like Nishaw and the Velgearians. (and I have cried for or was at least feeling a bit emotional about other death scenes, even in ygo so it's not like I'm just not caring enough or even cold-hearted)

But Idk... them dying didn't affect me and it might be because the "wrong" people were there to see it happen. I know this sounds mean but Asaka and Tazaki over Yudias (and the twins)? Really? And before someone says "well duh, he's not supposed to know so ofc we get nothing of him in that regard" - well, I don't like. I had a feeling from the spoiler summary that they would go down the "we don't want to upset Yudias so lets keep quiet about his comrades dying, we mean well" road and I still can't vibe with that, no matter how good the intention behind it is.

So on one hand, Tazaki can understand the Velgearians' feelings but he also knows that Yudias should know what's going on. And at first he made me believe that he would go back to UTS and tell him the truth - but no, he changes his mind and asks Asaka if she can give him some of her employees to act as the Velgearians for a while which is a pretty meh plan imo.

Asaka's reaction to this is basically mine:

Ngl, for a while, I thought Asaka would stay with her opinion that keeping everything a secret is a bad idea since that's not changing reality and the grief would just be postponed - and I agree with her. But it's not like she's uncaring since you see in her change of expression that it pains her too what's happening but it is how it is.

And then I thought Tazaki might change his opinion even if he still has this dilemma of trying to respect the Velgearians' last wish and letting Yudias know.

So, did Tazaki end up siding with Asaka? Well, we get no answer yet because Nishaw randomly shows up, looking kinda frozen. Asaka goes into explanation mode and exposes herself as a hypocrite:

At least she knows herself that she's hypocritical.

But still, I'm disappointed. I had wished in her not changing her mind even though deep inside, I had this (bad) feeling she's gonna side with Tazaki eventually and say nothing. Because it was the most predictable outcome no matter if she had lost or won. (*side eye at Luge vs Zaion*)

Also: Asaka freezing Nishaw to prevent him from dying feels like coming out of nowhere imo. And if freezing was really her best idea then why didn't she ever think of asking Luge? You know, the guy who can turn people into ice blocks by letting them see his boring manga? (and he can still freeze people despite being transformed into a massage chair iirc) Did she think he would refuse to help her or immediately tell Yudias and co. about her idea? Ngl, I do wonder if Luge's ice would've been better to prevent the death of the Velgearians than whatever Asaka developed since the former is ice made by alien power so it might be stronger than what humans developed. But I guess I will never get an answer for that...

When the duel ends, Tazaki holds a dead Valvelgear close while Asaka can just look at them with sadness. I know that many people got emotional seeing this and here comes my issue that I mentioned earlier in my post: the "wrong" characters witnessed the deaths. I like Tazaki and I'm overall cool with Asaka but no way this duel didn't happen mainly for some "Asana vs Galient" nostalgia similar to Rovian vs Princess Minstrel being a reminder of Romin vs Princess G. Nobody can tell me it wouldn't have been way more devastating to see the episode ending with Yudias or Yuhi holding Valvelgear with a tear-stained face since those two are the ones with the strongest bond with them. Did Tazaki even have scenes with Valvelgear alone before this episode? I honestly can't remember if yes - which is why I feel like they did that scene of Tazaki wanting to feed Valvelgear like a baby at the beginning of the ep + him using Valvelgear as a duel disk (like Yuhi usually does) to show that they have a bond even though it was pretty stupid to use Valvegear when the Velgearians in it are dying aka are already weakened and so shouldn't have been running around and pushing things just to work as a duel disk.

Nishaw was barely there but considering how sad Yudias and co. already looked when hearing about the Dudi people dying, they would've been sad to see him die too ofc.

The episode ends in Yudias and co. being back to MIK, talking with Phaser about the Rush Robot. And the very last scene is Yuga caught on camera. We likely just got Yuga there because he's gonna be the reason for the Yuna vs Manabu rematch.

I'm probably starting to repeat myself but damn... if the episode had actually ended with Yudias knowing what happened to his comrades and Nishaw (and the next ep would go more into his feelings after hearing that) instead... I kinda doubt that ep 96 will give us much focus on him considering the duel match up we get but I really hope that Yudias and the twins getting the sad news told won't be done off screen or in a quick flashback. Come on, I need to see their shocked faces, their tears and potential screams because no way Yuhi will just silently cry. Heck, he might be so mad (and maybe even feeling useless again after he had promised Valvelgear to save them and failed) that either Yuamu or Yudias must bring him back to his senses. I can see Yuamu either "just" looking sad or crying but not in a loud way.

As for Yudias... I think there are two ways he could take the news: He either starts crying and blaming himself for not noticing that his comrades were already dying and be very down (which Asaka and Tazaki wanted to prevent) - or Yudias cries but surprises everyone by not being completely crushed by the news but is still determined to find a way to save (and now also revive) his people. After all, we just know that the Velgearians in Valvelgear are dead. What's with the Velgearians who are still on Velgear? Are they already dead too or still alive? Is anyone even caring to check on them? And there's Dinois, Myuda and Zwijo too ofc.

Speaking of Zwijo: I dislike how he's always gone and in the middle of an arc, he comes back because the plot needs him. Like why can't we get a glimpse of what he's doing in the meantime? Where is he right now? Did he check on Velgear? Did he have contact with Yuga? Did he find something relevant? Is he maybe already too weak to do anything? Why do we always have to wait for such information until he's the focus again? Is it so hard having a duel between some characters and still show on the side what Zwijo's up to? He's the main rival and a freaking Velgearian! His kind is dying and we don't have a freaking clue how he feels about it and where he even is.

So yeah, those were my thoughts on ep 95. Sorry if they sound mostly negative but I really wished the writers had done some different choices there. But let's see how ep 96 and the rest of arc 8 will be...

[artwithoutblood]

This is more a question about creating than the games. I hope you don’t mind.

TL:DR; New potential fan artist wants to join the fun but is scared because internet How do you manage your internet safety and protect yourself when sharing art? Both your personal data and not letting sus people get to you, avoiding being harassed or doxed. Any tips?

I’ve broken an art block and started drawing some fan art through indie VNs but you do have to come off anon if you want to send a picture. (Understandable.) I also heard that on Tumblr the info in a picture you took yourself can accidentally show your location (metadata).

So because I’m a chicken I’ve recently missed two chances to submit an OC in a sick gender neutral outfit.

(Yes, this is enby uniform anon! I wanted to make an employee OC for Erebus, wearing the loose baggy culottes interpretation drawn by wormsonthebus. Also an MC for Robin, wearing the tight shorts fit from turnthepage. Maybe even have some ideas for some higher ups out of uniform.)

It sounds really paranoid. But over time I saw harassment of VN creators for having adult, taboo or ‘problematic’ content in their games even if they did nothing wrong. I have seen creators complain of creepy NSFW asks directed at the devs/artists themselves. That and other reasons have scared me off being involved in the indie VN fandoms too much, other than sending casual anon asks. But I have half baked ideas and crave validation!

At this point the solution might be creating a new dedicated blog with the asks off and learning how to properly wipe the exif data? So once I improved a bit I could feel more confident randomly gifting little bits of art.

If we’re talking Twisted Wonderland I would be Idia. Ideally the goal is to throw (pleasant, SFW, wanted and asked for!) fan art at the devs and run. Then watch from a safe distance to see how people enjoyed it. 🫥🫣

oh man. i don't really know. i'm not a good person to answer this. sometimes i just copy and paste a picture into paint tool sai and then save it myself rather than saving it to my computer then doing this and that.

i've been doing this online stuff with eyes on my work for a while, so i kind of know what to expect. when i get uncomfortable asks, i don't answer them. i try not to indulge. i think because this community has a much closer connection between fans and developers because of the necessity for their closeness, as well as the tumblr ask box, that makes it seem much rougher. when you're a developer who's super involved in their community, you sort of have an obligation to put forth how your community will act through your own actions.

the tldr for me is that: a lot of people aren't cut out for game development, especially when you're nose to nose with a community like this with little degrees of separation. i think a lot of people want for people to experience their ocs, but they aren't ready for projects in the scope they want and for the social side. that's why a lot of authors have PR teams. because shit is hard. this isn't shaming ANYONE, especially no one in particular, but it's why you hear about most beloved indie developers being radio silent.

if you ever want to send anything, people have sent links, like discord and whatever, and i've just saved and reuploaded it.

[fizzingwizard]

Back in the US for the first time in five years

(Wowww apparently posting on tumblr got waaaayy stupider during the time I was offline bahahahaha. took forever just to put in a cut and start a new line!)

Left home at 2:30 on Friday Japan time, got to my mom's new place around 9 pm New York time. About 22 hrs traveling in total. Not the longest and I didn't have to stop in like O'hare or any place I hate. Lots of usual flight nonsense occurred on the way, but it was overall smooth. The worst was when I got to New York and it took 30 min to get my bag because it was the very last one to be unloaded -.-; Then I was supposed to meet a driver to take me to my mom's place, but that driver got held up and sent someone else, who changed the plan, but I didn't know till I got out of baggage claim. And the driver couldn't get inside because it was so busy, so I had to just wait outside looking for his license plate amid all the many, many cars in the night. He did find me and then lectured me because I didn't have a good method of communication. I was going to rely on wifi because I couldn't find a US sim card for my old phone, a plan which would have been fine had the driver come into the airport like was the original plan. Because he was outside I couldn't access wifi. So. Anyway I tipped him with an apology... I do know better ways to have a phone when you travel internationally, but the problem is my current phone is just too old. It works just fine in Japan but can't do apps and no one makes anything for it. So I need a new one, but I just didn't want to pay through the nose for it so I didn't rush it...

Whatever. I got to the house in the end.

My mom's condo with her partner is small but really nice. It's weird being somewhere totally new, but much less weird than I expected because they made it so comfortable.

My mom's partner is really chill and doesn't have issues talking about my dad

The town they're living in is like Star's Hollow minus all the TV show over-decorating. It's really nice. Everyone is old though x'D I've seen like two youngish people outside of store employees. I'm no great conversationalist to begin with, and talking to people 30-40 years older than me is even harder. All I can say is "I like your scarf." In a conversation about raffles that falsely claim to be associated with charities, I made what I thought was a reasonable comment comparing that with psychics who promise people they're in touch with their loved one and take their money. Of course, one lady nearby totally believes psychics are real and "has done years of research on it." I'm like ok I'm not saying psychic powers can't exist, I'm saying taking people's money while lying to them is bad... and then uhhh just moved on to complimenting her scarf.

They're nice people but it is funny, watching a large crowd of people have conversations over each other, no one really interested in what each other is saying but just happy to be talking while another person is near and talking too...? My mom wants to talk about a movie she watched, so she's talking about that, at the same time her partner is talking about the food, their friend can't hear either of them because it's so loud so she's talking about the drinks at the bar. There was really no coherence! But everyone is happy and having fun. I don't get it but I guess that's why I suck at small talk.

Also talked to my dad. He said hello and then shared all his medical updates, which apparently includes he's got some very slow-acting form of leukemia! Sooo that was a fun surprise! I got to cry on my first day back!

I am also sick. Started with a sore throat literally the day before I was supposed to leave and bit by bit got other symptoms. Fortunately it didn't fuck me up too much on the plane. Probably just a cold. Keep crossing my fingers I'll be over it soon.

but I'm overall happy. I will feel better when I'm no longer sick and jetlagged, but it's nice to see my mom. I don't like all these crowds, but I like the area and I think during the week I won't be getting shuffled all over the place so much. it's gonna go by fast so I gotta appreciate

[tugoslovenka]

I think people like you are what is prompting studios like Larian to go into big business and selling their souls. Trying to appease a crowd of people like yourself, who constantly tries to find criticism about something no AAA studio would be able to produce. They are an INDIE studio producing a masterpiece like BG3 and you are going to complain about how they didn't give you act 4? I mean this in the nicest way possible, you need to stop being on tumblr.

well i was going to respond respectfully, but you are an absolute cunt and coward for hiding under anon so i'm going to say it - eat shit.

let's kick it off with: me and my random tumblr blog that posted something with what, 800 notes? is going to be downfall of larian? if that's the case, i demand a trial by combat on nestle next, maybe i can use my powers for good.

larian is an indie studio definitionally in that it's independent from major studios, but we all understand that "indie" refers to smaller scale studios so trying to slot them in there as though they don't have millions in revenue and the time to do games for as long as they want is appalling. even still, indie studios deserve to get criticism for an unfinished product. not addresing obvious issues with their games in an effort to place them on a pedastal bc they're not EA does nothing in service of the industry. you will not get a paycheck from larian by sucking dick any chance you can get.

bg3 is a game that is in partnership with WOTC, getting material that has existed for decades. it's not like they're starting from scratch when it comes to the content either, so let's not pretend this was larian's doing. it's dnd in video game form. using rules and mechanics that have existed for a long time.

i'm going to complain about whatever i fucking want when act 3 is a giant mess that has been broken since august. i am going to complain when i get an epilogue 4 months after release. i am going to complain when the game almost breaks my pc bc it's horribly optimized. i am going to complain when something doesn't work. i am going to complain about the ppl trying to defend a multimillion dollar studio like they're the second coming of video game jesus just because they're not abusing employees, sexually harrassing devs and making lackluster products. that's the literal bare minimum.

the only reason i came back to tumblr is bc i felt a strong love for the game and i love the community that's attached to it. there's some fantastic art, fanfiction and discussions/disourse that happens on the daily that i want to be a part of bc the game is fantastic. phenomenal even. but to pretend as if it doesn't have obvious drawbacks, issues is stupid. to defend larian is even stupider. a corporation that size should not be given freebies, no matter how "indie" they are. tenchent has a 30% stake in larian studios, a company with over 400 BILLION in revenue. spare me the cries of how their lazy patches and hotfixes should be celebrated when the game was not released in full. i will not grant any studio that grace. especially one that has already done this before.

fuck off.

[radfemie]

I’ve been desperate to talk to someone about this, but everyone in my life says I’m being crazy about it. I just discovered the radfem community on tumblr and I honestly thought I was alone in how much I hated men. You can totally just delete this if you want. I’m just desperate to talk to someone who might understand my feelings right now.

I got an office job 2 years ago. My office is mostly conservative boomers, but there are two “far-left, communist” men on my team. They are best friends. They started being friendly with me pretty quickly, and I welcomed it at first since there’s no one else my age to talk to.

They constantly talk about feminism, respecting women, hating “other men” and how they treat women, etc. It was a bit white-knighty, a bit incel, but I figured it was miles better than them sexually harassing me like my coworkers at other jobs have.

We started talking daily, and it became more and more obvious how disgusting they are. They talk down to me all the time, infantilizing me, acting like I’m not a real adult… I’m 25 and they are 27.

One of them is engaged, and I realized he has only ever told me negative stories about his fiance, stuff that annoyed him about her. He also told me a lot of stories about the other coworker’s relationship problems, telling me he had a lot of crazy exs and that he had commitment issues. This coworker got a girlfriend for a few weeks last spring, and the only thing they could tell me about her was that she wore a corset to the party he met her at and that she “wasn’t like other girls” because she listened to the same medieval music they like. Literally they could tell me nothing about her personality except that basically, he asked her out because he saw her tits.

then three weeks later he told me they broke up. why? the girl got too “clingy”… because she thought he wanted a romantic relationship because he asked her on more than one date, and brought up the topic to him. he broke up with her immediately because of his “commitment issues,” and because she didn’t wear the corset 24/7, i’m assuming. but guess what? she’s now on the crazy ex list too! they told me her name was banned in their group chat.

I also get treated like shit at the office because i’m a woman, and when i complain about how our bosses treat me on a daily basis, they just change the subject. but when they got treated like me ONCE, they threw temper tantrums in our group chat and wouldn’t shut up about it for days, talking about how they were going to burn the system down and guillotine the CEO. except they can’t even manage to use their privilege to speak up and defend me once at work. it’s well known at our office that white men do not get fired. they can do literally no work, and they still won’t get fired, but the women will get abused for not picking up their slack. i found out recently that I do the exact same work as them but get paid $20K less, too.

i’m not even at the really fun thing yet. one of them is super super vocal about being an anarchist and a communist. talking proudly about how he sits down for the national anthem and shit like he actually did something. always preaching about how you shouldn’t take shit from your boss. we had a company wide anniversary party this year where the CEO spent an hour on stage making women in the kitchen jokes and talking about the accomplishments of all the white men VPs, which pretty amounted to “the women did the work, but the men had to order them around, so who really did the hard work here? am i right fellas??” at one point, they had a 10 minute bit about how one VP is known widely for being physically abusive to employees, throwing garbage cans at people’s heads and punching through walls.

the CEO brought in photos of this. and we were all supposed to laugh, except i had an abusive childhood, and was in an abusive relationship, and it was genuinely triggering for me. but i was so in utter shock at the absurdity of it all, and I couldn’t stop thinking about how many women were in the crowd, and statistically how many of us had been raped and physically abused, and now were forced to attend a mandatory party to celebrate this disgusting violent male behavior. i couldn’t keep my mouth shut. i said something along the lines of “wow so funny, it’s so funny to terrorize your employees! fucking assholes” loud enough that my coworker could hear, thinking he would at least agree with that.

nope. he shot me a dirty look. like a “shut up, the bosses are here” kind of look. the same dude who said he wanted to guillotine the boss became they asked him to file a couple papers. turns out he had quietly been promoted to a manager! and the only way to be a manager here is to enforce their mad men culture to a T. you have to be totally on the side of the CEOs.

you know that post about “leftist woke sex-positive communist dudes” being one of the worst types of men? it’s this same guy. this man enjoys discussing big tiddy goth girlfriends in front of women a bit too much. is a little too supportive of women exploring their sexualities, and if they want to have a threesome with him to explore, that’s more than ok! :))) is a little TOO into lesbians.

i stopped talking to them completely. I couldn’t listen to it anymore, and then listen to them tell me how feminist they are and talk over me when I try to call them out on their bull shit.

now our bosses are talking about making manager boy my new manager. and it’s giving me so much stress, because I will have to quit on the spot. I’ll literally kill him. He’s so fucking annoying, and i already can’t take orders from men in general, but in men my age i can’t handle it at all.

anyway. sorry about this. thank you for listening.

Those men only care when it's affecting them, not you or other women.

I apologize for not getting to this sooner, but I have read it!! It just pisses me off how these men dgaf about anything but themselves & maybe their male buddies.