#i THOUGHT about making grey for like 0.5 seconds

[greyias]

So, I promised @captainderyn pictures of my old lady elf in LOTRO, although this is like several months later after the big expansion/prelaunch sale weekend when I rolled her up, because I get easily distracted.

Her name is Anariel, a High Elf who was one of the veeeeery first elves to travel to Middle Earth, so there is a small chance she is actually older than dirt because of this. Anyway, she's a war veteran who was once upon a time, so badass she saved Thranduil from giant spiders, rode with Gil-Galad, and routinely just did everything it seemed on the battlefield in the Second Age*. Then she got oopsie stabbed by a Nazgul, and sort of took a three thousand year nap and lost 100 in-game levels???

As you do.

And then she wakes up and Elrond is all "o hai, you slept so long that you forgot how to walk so here's a butter knife to defend yourself** ", and then hands you a "Third Age for Dummies" book because she slept through an entire era and tells his sons to take grandma to the bus stop so she doesn't miss her boat to the Elvish retirement home.

* - This opening sequence actually was pretty nifty to play when I did, as I'd just finished watching the ROP finale, and really played into the feels for all of the characters introduced in that show.

** - I'm paraphrasing. It's been a hot minute and a completely different computer since I played the intro sequence. But I did have a butter knife equipped when I logged in today. So. Um. Thanks for that old buddy?

Then the twins got her to the old elves casino bus and were like "Well, have fun Grandma! I know we said we'd see you off but we're going to do something else. Don't do anything we wouldn't do! And especially don't miss your ship!"

Then she hallucinates a bunch of conversations with dead people, which was sad until suddenly she just started talking to an invisible Elrond who to my admittedly limited Tolkein knowledge is not dead, so maybe her going to Elves Retirement Home isn't such a bad idea? But imaginary Elrond & co said "nah it's boring there, you should go make trouble here"

And then she did.

Some of Grandma Anariel's favorite past-times include:

Getting lost on the map, because wayfinding in that game is stupidly difficult. It's okay though because the game gave me a title for it:

It knows me so well.

She also likes leaping off tall cliffs and hills instead of taking the properly marked paths, and T-posing her way to the ground:

And then limping along painfully for a good long while:

She's also learning modern technology, and is starting to figure out how to take proper selfies

Anyway she was asked to go find an Elf Lord's son, found his bag instead and was like "Um sorry bro?" so now she's off to apparently start a war with the dwarves???

Slow down, Grandma! Middle Earth is clearly not ready for you to have woken up from your nap.

Anyway, I hope you like her @captainderyn. She might wind up burning the whole place down at this rate.

[eternally-writing]

Half the World Away | pjm.

genre: angst, fluff

rating: G (no swearing or sexual content)

pairing: Jimin x reader

theme: idol!au, established relationship!au

word count: 1k

warnings: none

synopsis: You already miss Jimin whenever he’s away, and when you have a bad week you miss him a lot.

banner by me!

I wrote this drabble for part of the BTS Ghostie Writer’s Net Drabble Marathon! This drabble is based on the Song Lyrics Category prompt “Don’t say you’re okay, because you aren’t.” from Blue and Grey!

--♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡--

After dating Jimin for 6 years, from pre-debut to stardom, you both had fallen into a well-oiled machine of a relationship. There were some parts that you both had agreed on together, such as “Jimin sleeps on the right side of the bed and you sleep on the left”, and “no going to bed upset with each other”, while some you had figured out on your own through some trial-and-error during your relationship.

For example, you had learned that Jimin actually hated broccoli (and I mean, truly despised it) but he never wanted to tell you since you loved it so much, but ever since then you’ve started cooking only one portion of broccoli and he couldn’t hide how grateful he was. However, the most important thing you had learned was that when Jimin was on tour he was busy - he spent morning to evening every night in rehearsals, performances, and appearances, and even on his days off he was out exploring with the boys so he didn’t have time to talk. After 5 different tours, you had learned that any correspondence from Jimin (whether it be a cute selfie of him in front of a tourist spot, or a quick good morning text even thought it was actually 1am and you were heading to bed) was something to be cherished, and you should have basically no expectations and wish for nothing more.

That’s why after you had endured an absolutely terrible week, you didn’t say a word about it to Jimin. It started with your car stalling on your way to work, then your dog had decided to rip up your new $200 dress that you had been saving up for for months, then a kid threw up on you at the grocery store ( the way kids just managed to throw up anywhere was a huge ick for you), and then last and most of all, your boss had scheduled a 10 min “check in and chat” with you at 5pm on Friday, which resulted on you being fired for your job.

Dating an idol had taught you to be very self sufficient, but on nights like this, when you were crying on your couch, greasy pizza in hand, and clutching a Charmander plushie Jimin won for you at a carnival as if it could act as any sort of replacement for him, you wanted nothing more than Jimin by your side. No matter how hard you tried, nothing seemed to replace him.

That’s why as you saw Jimin’s name pop up on your screen, with the word “FaceTime” underneath, you prayed to every single god out that there that you’d be able to keep yourself together for the probable 5 minutes that he’d have to spend with you.

It was Jimin who spoke first, appearing with a huge grin on his face and cheering with a “hi babe! How’s it going?”

You attempted to carrying on small talk with Jimin, updating him with the very small list of things that had gone well since you had last been in contact with him. You tried your best to muster up adequate reactions while Jimin was recounting his tour adventures, and maybe you could have done a better job of it if you weren’t constantly trying to hold back tears.

The thing was, while you had been making your own list of things you had learned about your relationship, you failed to realize that Jimin was doing the same as well. He picked up on your quirks, like how you had black coffee in the morning but took yours with 2 cream in the evening, and how you hated when movies had sad endings so he always looked up the endings of movies beforehand to make sure they didn’t upset you. He knew that you stopped making as much broccoli as him because you had realized he didn’t like it, so he made sure to show you how much he appreciated it every time.

Jimin saw the way your eyes shined in the reflection of the light from your phone, and if that wasn’t enough for him to deduce your emotions, you also touched your hair every 0.5 seconds - something he had learned was a dead giveaway that you were seconds away from sobbing.

“Y/N, baby…”

You could immediately hear the instant switch to a patronizing tone in Jimin’s voice, but you took a deep breath in efforts to shake the lump in your throat, ruffling your hair again to try and calm your feelings.

“I’m fine Jimin, really, perfect okay. Tell me about what you did today in Osaka! Did you end up going to Disney like you wanted?” You couldn’t stop your voice from cracking in the middle of your sentence.

As if through divine intervention, a savior in the form of Jungkook came bursting through Jimin’s door with a chorus of “Hyung, our break is over!”. However, for the first time in your relationship, Jimin shushed Jungkook, begging him to cover for him and that he had something important to tend.

Your eyes wanted to water just at that last sentence. You didn’t know how much you missed being important to Jimin until he said it out loud.

“Babe, I know something’s wrong and I want you to tell me, okay? No matter what, I’m going to be here to help you through it - there’s nothing that we can’t handle together. Don’t pretend you’re okay, because you aren’t".

--♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡--

If you liked what you read please make sure to interact/follow! Thank you for reading ♡ - Emily

[savedbybangtan]

Intermittent Fasting

Summary: She changes her entire being to be perfect for Hoseok. Don’t you think she has a right to him?

2172

Warnings: fluff?, smut, drinking, drug use

It may not look like it now, but I plan on making a main character in this fic yandere. If you get triggered by possessive, jealous, or controlling themes, then please do not read. Also, those with eating disorders or triggered by them should not read. 

Part 0.5

The saccharine scent of nectarines intermingled with the smell of the ocean, or more precisely the beach. There was a hint of fresh salt and some sweet fruit greeting me when I woke up. The sun was already blinding me with my eyes closed, so I squeezed my eyelids together even tighter to block it out.

The bed was very soft and… smooth? Satin sheets enveloped my naked back and legs in a homely manner, and that was when I realised I was not home in Gwangju, like I had been all week.

With a start, I open my eyes and sit upright.

The entire room seemed dark, in décor not lighting. The sheets were certainly satin but were burgundy along with the comforters and pillowcases. The walls were a glossy black colour and the floors looked to be some smooth grey rock.

Where the fuck am I…

…and why am I half naked?

The door across the room swung open and a girl dressed in a large white t-shirt, that I realised was mine upon further scrutiny, waddled in the room with a glass of water in her hands. On me, my shirt fit quite loosely, but due to her curves, she filled it out more. If she wore makeup, I didn’t notice.

Who was she?

I am sure I’ve seen her before. Her hair reminded me of cotton candy – a halo symmetrically divided in two with colours. The left side of her hair was an inky black and the other side was sky blue. Her smile was warm and welcoming. That smile perfectly fitted her; she was adorable.

I managed to have sex with someone like her?

“Hey, sleepy head.” She smiled at me and handed me the glass of water as I attempted to throw my legs over to get up. She sat in front of my legs casually so now it would be awkward to get my feet on the ground. “I see you didn’t touch your breakfast,” she frowned and practically pouted at me. My heart stuttered. “You need to eat.”

This was when I notice the tray of eggs, bacon, waffles, orange juice, peaches, and some other food items I didn’t recognise. They were neatly arranged on a wooden tray with a curtly folded napkin and silverware.

To get the sad look from such a pretty face, I picked up the tray and dug in with a smile. “I didn’t even notice it! Thank you.”

Her eyes lit up first before she smiled.

I started with the meat chewing animatedly. By the time I finished the eggs as well, I notice that she wasn’t eating. No, weirder, she was ogling my mouth when I ate the entire time. It was strange, so I decided to start a conversation. I remember that last night I went to the club with some friends. We finally finished our first finals ever as seniors. After drinking half a beer, I got very drunk and left to get a cab. I don’t remember much else…

I really should stop drinking.

My eyes couldn’t help but to trail down to her neck and then her breasts that were poking obscenely through my shirt. The window in the back of her helped to outline her Coca-Cola bottle silhouette that she hid beneath.

It was Saturday, I was on vacation from work, and the food was actually good, so I finished the plate eagerly, ignoring the voice in my mind questioning who she was.

I must have flirted with her last night.

As soon as I walked into the club, my friend ordered me a beer. I drank half over the course of 20 minutes and tried to leave before I got too drunk, but it was too late for me to come to that resolve. I would admit I’m a lightweight, but the alcohol was more effective than I thought. I stumbled a few times. Did she help me get a cab?

I drank the orange juice in one gulp. When I rested the glass back onto the tray, she picked it up with a smile and ran just outside the door quickly. The motion made the shirt ride up and her butt – that was the cutest thing I ever saw – flashed me.

She came back a few seconds after I realised I had an erection the entire morning.

She sheepishly walked toward me wringing her hands. “A-Are you okay? Last night…” she trailed off. “I want to make sure you’re not harmed. Did you eat enough?”

“No.”

“I’ll get some more. I made plenty! Did you like everyt-“

I grabbed her by the wrist and pulled her onto the bed in one motion. “I’m hungry for something else,” I said in an even tone. I glanced down to where her legs met and then back up at her, an obvious hint as to what I was referring to. “Will you feed me?”

She whimpered over a little flirtation. Was this weird or was she just shy?

She was sat on her haunches looking down at me like she was afraid I would actually bite her. To ease the tension, I dragged my hands lightly from her knees up to her thighs and across her hips slowly. “Will you?”

“Yes! Please, yes. Anything you want!” She started to whine.

Wasting no time, I laid her on her back and pressed her knees a part. Her shirt bunched around her belly, giving me a full view of her vulva. I lifted her legs up so they were pressing on her torso to get a better view inside of her.

“Don’t look!”

Her face was so red, I was afraid it would bleed from her cheeks onto her sheets. When I looked at her sex again, she was already dripping.

I never saw anything like that. She was so ready just from me looking at her.

This would be fun.

To spare her further embarrassment, I dipped my head between her legs and coated my lips, chin, then nose in her essence.

With a moan, I got to work licking stripes from her perineum to the tip of her clit, watching her every reaction to see what she preferred.

I began to suck on her clit since it seemed like she was moaning for every spot I touched. In between the moans and pants, she cried, “Hobi!”

My chest and entire mouth were wetter than usual.

“I’m sorry! I just wasn’t expecting you to actually do that! I’m sorry!” She sat up on her elbows as she recovered slowly from her orgasm. It took me a while to understand that she squirted. I used a finger to swoop up some of it that was still in her, making her shiver, and stretched the fluids between two fingers forming a string.

It was actual cum. Out of shock, the fact that she called me by my personal nickname that only close family and friends knew escaped me.

“I’m sorry. I’ll clean you up right now.” She was panting as she struggled to use her legs to get out of bed. I grabbed her by her ankle and pulled her down under me.

“Do you want this?” I asked her as she looked at me with blown out pupils. I stroked my cock, preparing to enter her.

“Yes!” She practically screamed and opened her legs further, although her face burned crimson still.

I entered her in one quick motion straight to the hilt. “Fuck”

“Mmmm, Oh my God, Hobi! It feels so good,” she sang.

Was she oversensitive? All I did was put it in. I know that first penetration is normally the best, but surely it wasn’t that good for her to be moaning still.

I pulled out slowly until only my head rested in her. Her moans were frantic and strangely comforting. It encouraged me.

I decided to stop torturing myself and pistoned into her. I pressed down on her knees so that she would be even more wide open. She was too tight, and it was bordering on pain. “Shit, you’re so damn tight.” I leant down and started peppering kisses and lovebites over her neck and jaw.

Her insides contracted suddenly. After a few minutes, she gripped me into a vice hold as her own orgasm washed over her. Her eyes rolled into the back of her head and she scratched my back. It was painful but I was too focused on my own cum leaving my body to mind it.

Completely spent, I got off her and l lied on the side. “That was amazing. Short, but amazing. I want to go again.”

She stared at me wide eyed. “Really? You want to go again… with me?”

At first, I thought she incredulously couldn’t believe I was ready for another round, but now I was perplexed why such a beautiful girl was so insecure. She made it seem like it wasn’t normal for a young man to want to be inside her.

She grinned after I affirmed her question and squealed in glee. “Its good to see you’re so healthy, but you should take it easy. Let me ride you.” She was already straddling me, and I had already agreed before she could finish the sentence.

My semen dripped from her pussy lewdly as she hovered her sex over mine.

She split herself open on my cock slowly with a look of utter bliss painted across her face. “Mmmm, it feels so good!” She spoke with too much emphasis.

I didn’t care if she was exaggerating, apparently my dick liked it.

She kept talking as she bounced up and down on me, never losing her momentum. Sometimes she would rut and grind on me like some energizer bunny, then she would take slow movements, carefully sitting down until she stuffed all of me in her and coming back up just until my head was about to slip out.

It was impressive. She stayed up there lasting longer than I had ever seen any woman in this position. Normally by now, their legs would be tired, but she just kept going.

The tshirt was on, but did little to hide what was underneath, so I never asked her to take it off. Instead, I grabbed a breast and felt the weight of it in my hand. Her hardened nubs were teased after I pinched each lightly. She sighed in satisfaction. Had I learnt anything from the first round, it would be that she grew quiet and slowed all of her movements when she was about to climax.

Her body stilled suddenly. Wrinkles marred her forehead where she tried to be still just as I was feeling my own end come about.

Was she edging herself, or was she running away from the orgasm?

Either way, I put my feet flat on the bed for extra leverage to fuck her from underneath. Slightly pulling her down onto my body, I tried to aim for whatever strokes she moaned the most to.

Again, she was between keening non-stop and hanging her mouth open in a silent scream. This time, she was not able to stop since I controlled the thrusts.

The velvet sheath that pulled me up to her cervix milked me until all of my own seed was spent. I loosened the grip that I didn’t realise I had on her thighs so strongly and laid her down on the sheets next to me.

We both stared into the ceiling to regain our breaths.

“That was amazing,” I couldn’t help the smile spreading across my face.

“More than I …could dream ….of,” she said barely audibly.

Her breaths slowed until she became so quiet that I looked down at her. She started sleeping so easily.

She looked so cute, I couldn’t help but to chuckle at her cherub sleeping form. Carefully, I drew the blankets over her, fluffed the pillows, and kissed her forehead.

From afar, I heard my phone ringing. If I listen closely, I can tell that it was not in this room and the tune told me that it was my job. I donned my shirt and left the room. Surprisingly, the rest of the house did not have the same medieval feel as the bedroom. It seemed like a regular house.

At the door, I found my underwear and my pants was not much further on the staircase.

The kitchen made it apparent that she did not live alone. The family portrait strewn everyone told me she had multiple siblings and her parents living here.

Just as I came to this realisation, I heard a few voices from somewhere else deep in the house. They were coming towards me.

Not wanting an altercation, I quickly found my phone (that was on a table in the foyer) and dashed out the house.

I dared not look back or use the ride share app until I was already down the street.

In my haste, I forgot to get her name, or even her number.

[spell-cleaver]

Luke looked at the strange aliens, Noghri Vader had called them. Vader had also said they were to be his new bodyguards.

Part 0.5, Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8

Masterpost here!

I’m too lazy to come up with a Honoghran word for “son of the saviour” so I just used “daughter of the saviour” and assumed it meant “child”/was actually gender neutral.

Luke looked at the strange aliens, Noghri Vader had called them. Vader had also said they were to be his new bodyguards.

He shifted on the futon as he watched them, the light streaming through the window of his receiving chamber to warm his back and illuminate the ridges on their grey skulls. They stood even shorter than Luke, with snouts brimming with teeth and muscles bulging everywhere the eye could see. When they’d entered it had been unnervingly fast: Vader just waved a hand and barked an order and the door to Luke’s private chambers had slid open to admit them for only moments before that came in with a grace that Luke had to admire, even as he felt all his muscles lock up with fear.

There were two. The first one who’d entered, who stood ever so slightly taller than the other, and seemed older somehow, even if Luke had no idea what aging looked like in their species, stood slightly forwards and bowed to him, the second following suit.

Luke swallowed. “Two new bodyguards?”

They bowed their heads to Luke.

“Eight,” Vader corrected, “but the other six are currently scouting out the Palace and familiarising themselves with the terrain, especially the air vents. And only two will ever be guarding you directly, Majesty, for the sake of your privacy.”

Privacy. Like Vader knew what that word even meant. The other six were probably going through his rooms even now, making sure there were no hidden weapons—for an enemy or for him to use.

“And what is wrong with your own troopers?” Luke asked Vader pointedly. He watched the two carefully: the younger one’s nostrils flared, gaze fixed on Luke, then realisation flared in his eyes and he leaned in to whisper something to his elder, who nodded grimly. “You are the one who assigned them to me with such high praises, but now a man is dead because they failed to stop a sniper infiltrating the Palace.”

Vader took a moment to respond to that. Luke wondered if he remembered his lost medic at all.

“The Noghri are far more skilled than any human trooper, Majesty,” he informed him. “They will keep you safe.”

Safe?

The same question from yesterday boiled at the back of his mind: Why did Vader care so much?

Why did he want him safe?

But Vader did not volunteer an answer, and Luke wasn’t comfortable with demanding one in front of witnesses. So he just asked, “What are your names?”

“Abrak'haim  and Khamalorkh, Mal'ary'ush,” the elder reported, tilting his head and snout again in what Luke thought might be their version of a bow, and gesturing to his companion when he said the second name. Luke nodded, and slid his gazes between them; when they moved, the sickles at their waists flashed in the light of his receiving chamber.

Luke did not miss the way Vader tensed when he spoke that title.

“Then I greet you, Abrak'haim, and you, Khamalorkh,” he said. “Why do you call me Mal'ary'ush?”

Vader tensed further.

“It is our title for you in our language,” Khamalorkh said succinctly. From the way Vader relaxed at that, Luke was pretty sure there was more to it than that, but he decided not to push it.

For now.

*

It wasn’t until later that evening that they ran into a problem—well, a problem other than the fact that Luke didn’t want any bodyguards of Vader’s near him—and it arose once Luke tried to go to bed.

“You are not standing right there while I sleep,” Luke ordered, glaring at the Noghri who’d positioned themselves just inside the door to his bedroom, right in full view of him on the bed. It was a large bedroom—an Emperor’s bedroom, rather than the prince’s one he’d had before—but it was not large enough for Luke to feel comfortable with them standing on the other side of it, staring at him as he slept.

It didn’t help that they faded into the shadows, as well, and he could barely see them in return.

Abrak'haim was one of the two guards, and said in his scratchy accent, “Mal'ary'ush, we are to protect—”

“You can protect me from outside the door,” Luke snapped back. He already felt… on edge; it was obvious that the Noghri had indeed been through his rooms already, even if they’d left no trace, and it made him feel so, so exposed.

And his— and his toy was gone.

That was a trace. His bantha toy was gone. He always hid it under the bed painstakingly, lest his father find out about this one too and punish him for it, and it was gone.

He didn’t want to think about where it was.

Abrak'haim and his colleague exchanged a look.

“Vader ordered you to obey me,” he reiterated. “Obey me now, and leave me in peace.”

“Ary'ush ordered us to protect you,” the second Noghri said, and something in Luke’s brain noted the similarities between Ary'ush and Mal'ary'ush but he hadn’t had any languages or linguistics lessons since before his father had died and he couldn’t say what that might mean.

Luke felt tears start to prick his eyes as he stared at them, the shadowy figures on the opposite side of the room. “Leave,” he said, and it wasn’t an order; it was more like he was begging, and if they didn’t leave they were going to be treated to hours of him crying himself to sleep, he was sure of it—

They exchanged another look. Muttered to each other in their own language, pointing at their eyes, and Luke wondered if a Noghri’s sense of smell was acute enough to pick up on the tang of tears, if they could hear the hitch in his breathing.

Finally, they left.

Luke lay down and buried his face in the pillow. He— he hated this—

He wanted to breathe.

Force, he just needed to breathe.

Luke was not a stranger to crying himself to sleep. He’d spent years in his father’s tender care, and getting to sleep when your torso was a patchwork of burns and bruises from training was not a painless experience. But Sabé had given him two fluffy toys, when he was young—a shaak and a bantha—and he’d clung to them even for years after she was gone, and it had helped. It had helped, somewhat.

But his father had taken the shaak when he’d found it, and… informed Luke of how inappropriate it was, for the prince to be hanging onto scraps of fabric and stuffing. And now the Noghri had taken the bantha.

He did not get to sleep for a long time.

*

It was early the next morning that he woke to the hiss of a respirator right above his head and he jerked into consciousness like a terrified mouse, scrambling to put as much distance between himself and that noise as possible.

Fortunately, it was a very big bed, but that was the only thing that stopped Luke from toppling out of it. He froze, staring up at Vader wide-eyed, heart racing.

He yelled.

“Peace, Majesty,” Vader tried.

“Get out!”

“Luke—”

Luke flung a pillow at him, and Vader was so surprised at the sheer audacity of it that he didn’t even use the Force to block it. It just smacked him clean in the face, then thumped back to the floor.

“Out!”

Another pillow. Vader did deflect that one, this time.

“Majesty,” he tried again. “I just came to return this.”

And then he held out his hand.

Luke, with another pillow primed and ready to fly, froze. His bantha was in Vader’s hand.

He stared at it for a moment. “You—”

“I assumed you would want it back, Majesty.”

“I do!” Luke spat, but couldn’t quite make himself reach out to touch it, to take it from Vader’s hand.

Vader huffed a quiet sigh and tossed it instead.

It bounced on the bed. Luke scrabbled to pick it up, clutch it to his chest. It smelt like flowers.

“Why did you—”

“The Noghri reported they had found an extremely dirty cuddly toy under your bed, Majesty, and I felt that it probably needed a wash for hygiene reasons,” Vader drawled. He… hesitated, then sat down on the side of the bed. Luke stared at him, but didn’t move away. “I apologise for upsetting you.”

“I’m not upset,” Luke said, and blinked tears out of his eyes.

Vader’s voice softened. “I am not going to take it from you, l— Luke,” he said. “I am not Palpatine, and I will not begrudge you your comforts. Your childhood did not have an abundance of them.”

Luke stared and muttered, “I wonder why.”

There didn’t seem to be anything Vader had to say to that. Luke just buried his face in the soft fur of his bantha—softer than ever, now.

Vader stood again, and made to leave.  But then he paused. “May I ask where you first got that, Majesty?”

Luke didn’t answer.

“Was it Sabé?”

Luke paused… then nodded slowly.

“Then I shall thank her,” Vader said, and made to leave before Luke could even begin to figure out what that meant.

“Call them off,” Luke said suddenly.

Vader paused. “Majesty?”

“Call them off,” Luke repeated. “Let them guard the rest of my quarters. But they are not allowed in my bedroom, and neither is anyone else except for Nova, and except for in emergencies. This is my space. I’m sick of being constantly watched. I can’t sleep.”

He lifted his head, eyes bright with anger and tears. “Are we clear, Lord Vader?”

Vader said, slowly, “As you wish, Your Majesty.”

Send me the first sentence of a scene from this AU and I’ll continue it!

Beginning | Previous | Next

[shreddedgalaxy]

just finished watching well-intended love on Netflix and I have so many mixed opinions...

non-spoiler version? the first half is perfect, the second half is.... problematic to say the least.

spoiler version?

the first half was amazing. seriously, I could not stop watching it. I spent seven and a half hours just sitting there and hanging on to each and every word. the chemistry between the two leads is undeniable, the supporting characters actually have plots of their own and are interesting and well-developed, and I’m a sucker for the marriage of convenience trope.... and then the second half happened.

now, immediately upon watching the episode that reveals that Ling Yizhou faked Xia Lin’s medical records, I was confused and concerned to say the least. I couldn’t figure out what they were doing with this plot for the life of me. and then she tells him she needs space, and he... does exactly the opposite??! it was creepy, possessive, manipulative, and problematic as fuck. but it was also 3am, I had spent all day watching this cdrama, and I needed to know how the fuck the writers thought they could fix this (because it’s a cdrama and it’s not gonna end without the leads getting together).

before delving more into the main relationship in the second half, a few things to mention before I forget- because this show has a lot of other aspects and facets besides the two leads. first, Chu Yan’s “death” made me lose my shit, because he’s an EXCELLENT character and I love him. thank god he came back so quickly, he brought so much to the show and i think without him I might’ve given up on this drama sooner. Jia Fei and Wen Li were incredibly cute together, and their relationship had the build up and tension that oftentimes are overlooked when creating a romance for the side characters. Nan Jin Tian was a decently intricate villain, although I’m not 100% sure if I ever fully understood his motive. Ling Yizhou’s mother was an incredibly complex character though, and I appreciated all the twists and turns she put the characters through, and how in the end, her actions are more morally grey than pure evil.

back into the main relationship- Ling Yizhou handles Xia Lin’s anger in an objectively horrible way. bodyguards to prevent her from leaving? that’s some fucked up shit. honestly, during that episode, I was about 0.5 seconds away from exiting out, leaving a bad rating, and going back to watching random YouTube videos in order to forget the whole ordeal. seriously, I felt duped by the whole show- the premise didn’t even hint at the idea of this happening. and then Yizhou gets the call about Chu Yan’s death.

the “death” of Chu Yan hit both leads very hard due to the friendship he had cultivated with both of them, and the leads ended up seeking comfort in each other, Xia Lin reluctantly so. now, this is still problematic as shit, BUT I think it was one of the more realistic aspects of this show. for any musical theater fans out there, it reminded me of Eliza and Alexander seeking comfort in each other after Philip’s death. however, that alone didn’t make the show much better, until we begin to see the change in Ling Yizhou.

his past is uncovered even more, and his family history brings to light an explanation for his possessive, wild behavior. it DOES NOT justify it in any sense, but it does provide some context. furthermore, the change seen in Ling Yizhou seen throughout the rest of the show is very good- he understands what he did wrong, he realizes the pain and suffering he has caused her, and he tries to do right by her in whatever way he can. he does not force her into reconciling with him, which is probably the most important development of his- before, when she was upset, he would do whatever it took to get Xia Lin to forgive him and forget his mistakes. at this point, he understands he has no right to forgiveness, and she doesn’t have to take him back or even speak to him again. he does take steps to make amends and fix the pain he caused, but for the sole reason of righting his wrongs, not trying to force her into forgiving him.

the most important aspect to the relationship between Xia Lin and Ling Yizhou in the second half of the show is Xia Lin’s actions and attitudes. I felt that she forgave but did not forget Ling Yizhou’s wrongdoings, which is incredibly important. she didn’t just forgive him and move on- she called him out on his bullshit, stepped away from the situation to come to her own conclusions about what to do next, and didn’t just let his amends influence her decision. in the end, she went back to him because she loved him, she needed comfort, and with the knowledge that if he ever tried any of that shit again, the relationship would be terminated for good and she wouldn’t look back. she gave him a second chance because she wanted to, not because he did, and she made sure to set up boundaries and make him understand that his bullshit would not be tolerated any longer. it is key to mention though- if she had not gone back to him, she would’ve been completely justified in doing so- his apologies and redeeming actions and characteristics do not at all negate the fact that he was incredibly toxic and even downright abusive towards her up until this point in their relationship, and she had every right to leave him and never look back.

throughout the rest of the show, Ling Yizhou is respectful towards her boundaries, is honest with her about everything he does and his intentions, and works to make her as happy, safe, and loved as she should be. he no longer takes their relationship for granted, and though he occasionally makes small mistakes (he is still human, and a total adjustment to his character would be unrealistic without a show of progress), he takes full responsibility for his actions and takes steps to ensure he doesn’t wrong her again. i think Xia Lin’s character also took a turn for the better, because she is more strong-willed in her beliefs, takes much less shit from not only him but everyone else, and is much wiser due to the whole ordeal. there were a few minor details that didn’t get touched on the way I thought they should (like how Wen Li probably knew everything that was happening the entire time Ling Yizhou was fucking up but faced virtually no consequences or reprimand for his actions) and there were a few other small choices the writers made throughout that I didn’t agree with, but overall, the story ended decently well.

i think the title of the drama itself, well intended love, speaks volumes to the core ideas of the show. Ling Yizhou’s love for Xia Lin, while “well intended”, was possessive, manipulative, and toxic in so many ways for a good portion of the show. no matter how well intended his love was, he still hurt her in unimaginable ways, and hurt the life of the woman he wanted to cherish and love. i feel the theme of the show overall, that good intentions don’t always justify the actions, was shown after having seen all twenty episodes. i feel for a lot of people who saw it and quit after the first half, this looks like a show justifying abuse, and i can completely understand why it looks that way. looking at the entirety of the show though, i believe the writers did not justify the abuse, but rather showed a combination of how the way Ling Yizhou was raised contributed to his character, the undeniable truth that love without respect and honesty is gross and harmful, and that a person’s character can change with proper consequences to their actions to help them understand the immorality of what they have done, regardless of whether it was done with good intentions.

was the show problematic? yes. do i think the writers could’ve shown their overall message in a much better way, preferably with less shock value and gross misrepresentation of what the plot of the show is? definitely. do I think this show glorifies abusive relationships? honestly, i would say no, but i of course am always open to reconsidering my points. but overall, i feel the show overall brought an important message to light about the justifiability of our actions, has well-developed characters, and the relationship between the two leads was much better developed by the end of the show than I anticipated. will i be watching season two, if/when it comes out? most likely, if only to see how the writers could continue the story.

i also think it’s important to acknowledge cultural differences- i am american, and might have missed some points through my ignorance and lack of understanding of chinese culture and the differences in social norms and customs. for all those who have been thoroughly hating on the show without watching it all the way through, that is your prerogative and i 100% respect that, especially with some of the jarring and upsetting behaviors shown throughout the revelation of Ling Yizhou’s actions. but i also do hope you acknowledge that you haven’t seen the show in its entirety, and don’t necessarily have the whole story of how the writers handled Ling Yizhou’s character and his relationship to Xia Lin.

i could’ve written a lot more on the topic, but i think i’ll end it here. if you’ve seen the show, feel free to drop into my messages and chat about it, whether you agree with my interpretation or not!

[elvanaagolli]

Lancer Artwork:Fate/Stay night [My husband ]

Work In Progress / a day ago

-   ͙۪۪˚┊❛[Elvana Agolli❜┊˚ ͙۪۪̥◌

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╰──➛✎﹏| Lancer Artwork. ͙༣·˚༘

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Hello hello wonderful AA members! Back again with another character from the Fate anime series. This time my husbando Lancer from the Fate/Stay Night honestly since he appeared in the series i had a instant crush  yes love at first sight  . So how i couldn't draw this wonderful smexy men like how?

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Lancer is a servant (i wish he was my servant) unfortunately he doesn't have a good end and doesn't appear a lot in the series but still he is savage funny strong and hot (what else can you ask about a man?). Another thing i really liked about him is that he is a man of his word even if have to sacrifice himself he will keep his promises no matter what. That's why he became my anime husbando because of his great personality and his appearance.

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┊○ ↳ ;; #VanaFA

┊○ ↳ ;; #animefanart

┊● ↳ ;; #Artwork

┊○ ↳ ;; #chibidrawing

┊● ↳ ;; #curatorsreviews

┊○ ↳ ;; #Animedrawing

TPL+ banners by me #VanasEdits

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Aquarelle ppaper A4

Mechanical pencil 2HB 0.5

Black brush pen

Markers (same i used for my other drawings)

White pencil

Pencil color's

Step 1

As always do is the sketching by composing the character in the middle of the paper and then i start drawing the character. I started firstly drawing the torso and i changed the position of the left arm and after that i did start drawing the shoulders and the face after that i started working with the upper part of the hair. I worked a bit with the outfit.

Step 2

After that i started working with the outfit i which i got the idea from the reference picture. Firstly i started working with the vest and after that shirts sleeves, to jump on working with the facial details like eye's, mouth and nose, for the hair i wanted to do the version of the hairstyle he had on Fate/stay night but then i thought going with the version in Fate/Grand order kinda a mix of both versions.

Step 3

Forgot to mention the pencils i used was a basic pencil hb for the sketching and for the details i used 0.5 mechanical pencil. After finishing drawing the character and working with last details i did line up the drawing with a 0.7 black pen for the large area's then a 0.3 for the details like hands the face and hair for eye's nose and mouth i used the 0.1 black pen.

Step 4

Coloring part a basic blue pencil color as a first layer for the hair then i did blend it with a sky blue color as second layer, and as last layer i used a dark blue marker and the 46 blue marker to get the shadings was needed.

Step 5

In the end i used the dark blue color pencil to make the shadings darker, for the eye's i used a red gel pen. As per the skin tone i did use as first layer a basic skin color pencil and went over blending it with the 97 marker to get a darker tone and for the part of the shadings i used the 107 marker.

Step 6

Jumping on coloring the outfit by starting with the vest by using a black marker but since the marker left a lot of blank parts i did use another layer by using a normal black color pencil and blended together. For the shirt and pants as first layer i used the white marker and then i went with black gel pen and went again over with white marker to get the grey shadings. And then as final step i did work with hair giving the highlights by using a white gel pen and same white gel pen i used for the white highlights on the vest also for the buttons.

Final look

Proof:

My man omg isn't he hot?  Ok ok i should stop simping in this blog damn i blame him for being so handsome. Anyways haha besides jokes was really a great fun drawing him since he is my favorite one from the Fate series. Honestly will be few of my favorite characters from the Fate series that i will bring soon so stay tuned. For now i hope you enjoyed reading and watching this one so for now bye bye.

So that's all i hope y'all enjoy the blog i wish you good day/afternoon/night    

[nyangibun]

GoT S08E03 Thoughts

The fuck??? 

I actually have no idea how to feel about this episode or what was really even happening because jfc, the lighting was so dark and everything was moving so fast. At one point, I was wondering who the f I was even watching. 

I feel with retrospect, I’ll have a lot more to say, but as these posts are my immediate thoughts, here we go. 

We got another shot of Alys Karstark for apparently no reason. It’s weird that we were introduced to her in S7 so we know what she looks like and we keep seeing her in S8 without any payoff. Most characters we recognise that appear on screen serve a purpose. Ned Umber showed up because he needed to die for the Night King’s Cool Abstract Art. But seriously, I know non-Jonsa’s think the kidnap plot is ‘delusional’ but tell me, what purpose does Alys serve? Maybe it’s not a kidnap plot but I believe there will be some kind of mistaken identity or switch. I don’t know. I really don’t know why else she would keep reappearing in every episode thus far -- not to mention Sophie Turner’s behind-the-scenes photo where she is wearing a similar dress to what Alys was wearing in Ep 1.

I have a gripe with this episode (amongst others). Why the hell is Ghost out there? Why is he running with Jorah and the Dothrakis? Even if he is going to fight in this battle, it doesn’t make sense he’d choose to do so alongside people he doesn’t even know. Also, we didn’t get a death scene so is he alive? Did they seriously CGI Ghost in 2 episodes to do absolutely fuck all and then die? I will riot in the streets, D&D. 

Speaking of the Dothraki, what was the damn point of them? They literally died in 0.5 seconds. That was it. I know people had to die and hordes of ‘em but it felt like a complete waste of the Dothraki plotline. Also, didn’t Dani take all of the fighting men to Westeros to fight in her damn war? So now the entire Dothraki civilisation is basically massacred and there’s only the women and children left? Like damn, talk about a bad time. The Dothraki randomly charging like that was dumb AF as well. Why would you charge into an army that you know is 3-4 times the size of yours? I’m no battle strategist but I feel like that was a dumb idea.  

In terms of the battle, I really don’t know what to say. There were cool moments (ie. Arya being a badass and killing wights left and right) and then there were just wtf moments. My issue with the battle sequence was mostly just the sensory overload. There was so much going on everywhere at the same time and it was hard to keep track of what was actually going on. I also felt a little underwhelmed by the usefulness of the dragons. I suppose it was to say that the dragons can be defeated and are not the tide-changing weapons they have been in the past, which doesn’t bode well for them in the future. Btw, did Rhaegal die? Like... he fell out of the sky? And then disappeared? Are we down to just Drogon? 

And now, a moment of silence for our fallen brethren: Edd (thank you for saving Sam), Lyanna (my badass child, thank you for so cooly killing that giant), Beric (thank you for saving Arya) and Theon (wtf Bran?! you really knew our boy was gonna die and you were all ‘you’re a good man’ and then that’s it?!). 

Okay, that’s not fair. I guess Bran saying that to Theon allowed him to reach full circle with his redemption arc. He has fully atoned for his sins against House Stark. But I still think his death was bullshit. Although I loved the moment between Bran and Theon when Bran tells him that all of his decisions had led him here: home. That was definitely what Theon needed to hear and I am glad he got that before he died.

I just want to talk about Jonerice. The scene before the battle starts, they are standing overlooking the battlegrounds together, but there is a considerable amount of distance between them physically. The framing is definitely still pitting them at odds with each other since last episode’s reveal. And their conversation is also heavy with tension. It’s a good reminder that Dance of Dragons 2.0 is very much still on the table despite them working together in this episode, though that isn’t going to last long.

Jorah’s unwavering love and loyalty to Dani serves as the perfect foil to Jonerice’s weak and unconvincing romance. Time and time again, he has proven the depth of his feelings for Dani and it is him that comes to her rescue, not Jon (though ofc Jon has bigger fish to fry). And despite her not reciprocating her feelings for him, Jorah is someone she cared about and I think his death will be something she holds against the North. What I mean by that is she will think that because she has fought for the North and lost half of her army and someone she loves, they must bend the knee or else. I mean I get where she’s coming from 100%. Dani risked a lot to fight, whether her reason was altruistic or not, she has. But the problem is the North can’t afford to fight in her war with Cersei. And yes, she fought for them but they have also been through hell serving foreign rulers. This is going to be a huge point of conflict going forward but we already knew that. Now there’s just this added element. 

Also, wait... Both Lyanna and Jorah are dead. What happens to House Mormont now? Is there even another Mormont left? 

I know there weren’t any Jon x Sansa interactions and that sucks, I admit, but it’s also okay. I was happy with Tyrion and Sansa’s interactions there. Sansa has effectively said goodbye to all of her potential suitors. When Tyrion says ‘maybe they should’ve stayed married’ and Sansa responds with ‘it wouldn’t work between us; we have divided loyalties���, that ends all of the speculations that Tyrion and Sansa would re-marry or legitimize their marriage. And Sansa’s right. After the battle is over, the politics begin and their loyalties are divided. Tyrion is loyal to Dani who wants the Iron Throne and the Seven Kingdoms, and Sansa is loyal to House Stark and Northern Independence. Like I said, this is going to be a huge focus in the upcoming episodes for all of the characters. They came together despite differences to fight for the living but now they will have to choose sides on the future of the living. Tyrion and Sansa will be on opposite sides but I do maintain that Tyrion will eventually lose faith in Dani and betray her. 

In any case, Sansa basically points out that in order for a marriage to work, their loyalties and thus their goals for the future would have to be the same. Now, whose loyalties and goals coincide with Sansa’s? Jon. They are both loyal to House Stark first and foremost and then to the North. At this point, let’s be honest, there are no more eligible bachelors that we know of in Westeros. I mean technically, there’s Jaime, but as if that would happen with all of the Braime scenes this season and the lack of any interaction between Sansa and Jaime. I also don’t think Jaime will survive the season. I hope he does but I just don’t have a lot of faith he will. Redemption arcs and all that. Jon still remains her most viable option to further the House Stark line. Unless everyone dies in the end, succession is an important aspect of the story. 

I also remember someone mentioning that Tyrion could be a possible reason why Sansa gets kidnapped, as in he’ll betray her to save his skin when Bronn comes to kill him. I don’t know how much I believe this tbh but he does say that Sansa underestimates the lengths he’ll go to in order to avoid being apart of the Army of the Dead. While he is talking presently and maybe only about dying and becoming one of them, he might mean death itself. Take what you will. I’m not sure how much I believe in this theory. 

As for Arya, well, what is there to say? She is the best and I love her. I really didn’t expect it at the start of this episode she’d be the one to kill the Night King but after Melissandre’s comment to her, it was pretty obvious. I don’t really have anything to say about that just that I love her and want to protect her. I also like Melissandre a lot and Beric and hers are the only deaths in this episode that gave me a sense of closure. Their story had come to an end and it made sense. For everyone else, I am still very wtf about it. 

Anyway, so let’s do a head count of the survivors: all the Starks (Jon, Arya, Bran, Sansa), Tormund, Brienne, Jaime, Sam, The Hound, Dani, Drogon, Missandei, Tyrion, Varys, Gendry, Davos... 

People I have no idea if they survived: Podrick? Gilly and lil Sam? Ghost? Rhaegal? Grey Worm? Alys? 

Am I missing anyone? 

[acquagalaxies]

my bits for “Together Alone”

It’s incredible how much happened in just 11 minutes, as It’s difficult to even decide where to start. Hard was also to not scream every 0.5 seconds for all the things the crewniverse and miss Sugar dropped in. Since already many of us covered up a lot of the stuff that have been proposed in a marvelous way, with all the references of the case, I’d just write down some thoughts I had in mind. to join my rant about an episode that blow my mind and try to talk calm-

THEY LITERALLY CONFIRMED THE “WHITE PEARL/ONCE PINK PEARL” THEORY IN THE FIRST FEW SECONDS CARTOON NETWORK U WANT ME TO DIE I HAD A STROKE SOMEONE HOLD ME I CAN BEAR THIS WITH MY ONLY STRENGH.

Ehm. So. What is presented to us I think is something like we saw in “Jungle Moon”: one of Pink Diamond’s past memories that appears in the shape of a dream, distorted by Steven’s mind (since, is in fact a dream and not just a vision/hallucination), which is a normal thing while one is dreaming, the brain in the unconscious state works and interprets things in a little bit different way, especially when it comes to memories: in the dream world the situation can take some sort of “surreal” twist that of course changes from what happened in reality and from what you remember consciously, in this case Yellow Diamond’s massively long neck (I wonder if the crewniverse is aware of the fandom’s YD giraffe neck meme and add it on purpose).

(the fact this all could have been a dream is evident already by the very first frame of the episode, when we see all the Diamonds’ ships on Homeworld perfectly intact, this alone made me confused at first for how strange and impossible it was, since we all know Yellow and Blue had to leave their ships on Earth for their being broken at the moment due to the events of Reunited.)

Aside that, the moment I loved the most is watching the complicity between Steven and this pearl (pretending to perform their role as what they’re supposed to do/be in front of others, satisfying their expectations so said others would not have anything to argue with, like Yellow smiling seeing everything seems to be at its right place, and when they’re alone again goofing around happily) that is just an altered reflection from the memory, in this case what is really shown is the bond Pink Diamond shared with who seems to be confirmed as her former pearl.

I couldn’t hold only inside a smile, because it’s heart-warming seeing this kind of relationship with someone else, with happy moments, laughter and bubbles, you can see that Pink treated her pearl like a close friend and most important, like an equal (many gems should take this behavior as a suggestion and moral model, but it’s very hard in their so hierarchical society to treat “lower gems” as your peer). By watching first the Jungle Moon flashback and Legs from here to Homeworld, I feared the physical damage that the now-white-pearl shows is the result of Pink Diamond’s infamous bursts of rage (since the first time she is introduced in Jungle Moon, Pink seemed used to this bad temper from what is seen to us, by this “brat and capricious behavior” of going around hitting things bc your parents didn’t give to you what you’re whining for) ended bad. I’m glad to see otherwise it’s apparently not Pink’s direct fault after all instead, the two seemed to share a more than good relationship.

(little thought: the way Steven lands graciously on the floor after his juggler number sweetly reminds me a bit when the young Greg met Rose in the old temple after their conversation on the beach.)

By this carefree spirit of hers and peaceful kind attitude, even a bit childish, the other diamonds maybe thought that was the pearl being a “bad influence” for Pink, deciding after to replace her with another (that’s why it is a little heart-breaking in now we’re only falling apart while Pink is trying to have a conversation with Pearl, she probably missed that complicity and the chatty moments with her old pearl, and because she wanted them to be friends and buddies, not just servant and master, encouraging Pearl to have her own thoughts and be self-conscious).

• but why keeping a broken pearl and not directly get rid of if the society cares so much of maintain only perfectly functional gems? What if White decided to keep Pink/White Pearl to make her be a constant walking reminder to Pink Diamond of who is really the one who commands and of what could happen if she tries again to make a gem behaving “different from how she is supposed to be and do”, or treats them differently from “the value” they own (like treating Pink Pearl an equal despite pearls are considered so much less, especially compared to a diamond). That’s creepy enough, I question if White was so cruel to make Pink watching while her so loved Pearl and (only real) friend turns from that pink fluffy sunshine ball into an empty shell smiling puppet without anything else left, ripped away from thoughts and individuality, a perfect obedient servant that would never get against your authority or retort your words.

The even sadder thing is, even if Steven will succeed in “bringing” back white pearl at her old self (something still welcomed just sayin’, #save the precious), still Pink Diamond, her diamond, the gem she was made for and with she shared that bond, is not here anymore.

Pink pearl has cinnamon buns on her hair bc like them she’s a cinnamon roll herself.

another heart-breaking detail is, by hearing them laugh, the voice getting from Pink Pearl’s mouth is patently Deedee Magno Hall’s, so Pearl’s supposed-to-be true voice. I’m weeping.

Then everything, pinkish and joyful, slowly becomes a grey dull nightmare, with Pink Pearl fading away into the void. Puking hair (whatever your own or someone else’s) in a dream often is the representation of the desire of expression about something that is denied. The will of wanting to express and be yourself that instead is being repressed (by someone, some situation, ecc.).  Or can also representing, in this particular case, White Diamond trying to push outside by force Rose Quartz’s persona/facade, a fake self, away from her Starlight.

Also, we’re finally able to see White’s hands (nails rigorously polished, I adore, as the cloak, so in style). Is not such important stuff but I appreciated that.

The pebbles are so adorable, they seems to love Pink Diamond’s very much (probably she was the only one that treat them decently, since apparently the word “pebble” is used in gem language also as a not-so-kind epithet? See Peridot using it with Steven when she was released from the bubble seasons ago), and I found  somehow cute (?) hearing one of them exclaiming “Pink is moving again” (which is totally reasonable since gems don’t have total acknowledge of what dreams are and what means sleeping in general, since is not something needful to them as is resting for organic beings). Plus, they apparently became attached at Connie too, that’s so sweet. Just to add, the green male pebble (which is also incredible to see a “kind” of gem being a “he”) chilling with Steven’s phone from the previous episode is so #icon. I love these little creatures.

“It almost feels like home” just being immediately replied with Garnet underlining embittered “almost” like to precise no matter how much the pebbles make the furnishing resembling as much as they can the real ones from Steven’s house back on Earth, still is not really “home”.

That grasps my heart a bit by hearing Blue Diamond, so emotionally and happily, announced than “we haven’t had Pink in 6000 years!”, since they still believe the one in front of them is always Pink Diamond and can’t well comprehend yet this aspect is not just a form Pink shapes for her amusement (just listening Yellow saying to her pearl “help her since she seems to have so much trouble recalling her past here on Homeworld”. But time to time), and getting worried this choice would not be liked by White, labeled as one of Pink’s usual childish jokes.

Ok but, someone pointed out that, “if the Diamond don’t throw a ball from 6000 years, then what about the Cosmic Jubilee Lars crashed in?” Well good question, I guess that is categorized as some kind of another event to participate at? I don’t think from Pink Diamond’s demise they never threw any party for other celebrations (a new colonial conquering for example).

Steven in the pink diamond’s outfit is a babe. It gives me the impression he actually wears It better than his mother.

What Yellow Pearl means exactly with “accept” or “reject” the members of Steven’s court? And… what happen to the ones that has been rejected from their diamonds?

Just realizing White’s throne other being of her dominant white shade, it actually reflects the colors of yellow, blue and pink, in the spots they’re placed the other thrones. Beside than being pretty aesthetical, it’s calling me the fact real life pure diamonds, reflecting the light, could do those spectacles of colors and reflections.

“Everyone stay where they belong” and Steven immediately floats near his friends and family. Bae.   smol beam of sunshine.

I really loved the explanation of what means to have “fun”, something you like to do, could it even be a passion or a simple playtime, for the good feelings it brings to you.

The pearls interactions, and the discovering of Blue Pearl’s hobby for drawing and Yellow’s for being a model just gives me life. I love the pearls and still want to learn more about their dynamics. Still, one of the moments that gives me chills is YP saying that “her feelings don’t matter” and how proudly she actually said it. Not gonna be surprised, we all know the conditions and how the pearls are considered in Homeworld society, as I know how much YP worships her diamond and how she considers herself lucky by having the “privilege” to serve the maximum rank of all gems. But still, it’s sad hearing someone states something like that without a problem.

OK SO. Since the very first Diamond Days trailer I was curious about one scene in particular: the one in which Blue Diamond separates with such brutality Steven from the group. I didn’t want to speculate about this just because I wanted first the context of the situation, and after seeing it… it actually makes more sense. I know people addressed this as Blue having a bitchy behavior because apparently she doesn’t want a Diamond that mingles herself with other gems (that compared to said Diamond, still remain lower beings, is like don’t wanting the princess of a country to get along with the farmers and peasants), but now it’s kinda reasonable? I mean, it’s still hurtful, but since White Diamond would be there, she’s afraid the gem matriarch would not be happy to see this kind out-of-the-rules behavior, and I’m sure no one would ever want to see White angry, am I wrong? Blue someways tries to protect Steven (and everyone’s asses) from doing a mistake in front of WD that could cost them. Still, it’s just the impression all the scene gave me, maybe I’m wrong.

NO NO BLUE, I UNDERSTAND YOU CAN’T FULLY COMPREHEND THE EARTH AND THE HUMAN HABITS, HOW ALL THERE WORK, CHANGE AND GROW, THAT IS SOMETHING BEYOND YOUR USUAL KNOWLEDGE, BUT DON’T DARE TO ADRESS CONNIE A SECOND TIME AS A “PET”, ‘kay?? Maybe she doesn’t do it through malice, but I really want episodes in which Steven teaches them with kindness and patience the beauties and worth of Earth, the things Pink Diamonds saw in the nature and its creatures, what took her to re-think her colonial project to preserve all of this, how magnificent and so different can be life, the organic beings, to change their consideration of them as inferior, they (we) just have another ways to live, to think and to do, that’s all. And when it comes talking about Amethyst…

“oh boy, here it comes…”

I know millions already talked and pointed out this but, I’m so proud of the character development  Amethyst is showing to us, already from the Heart of Crystal Gems arc. She has let behind her shoulders all the struggle, the feeling out of place, “wrong”, for being so different from the other quartz soldiers (“different” doesn’t mean “wrong”, and this is a very important teaching); she matures and understood it’s as alright as the way she is, and mean words from others is not worth her consideration, her tears, anymore, while in the past the same situation and phrases would have back the reaction to burst into trembling fury or silent crying.

From this dialogue whatever, it makes me consider one thing, probably “overcooked” gems seem not to be that much of scandal and dishonor (unless, Blue would have made more fussing about Amethyst and not allowed her into the ball in the first place): as long as they are, even with their “disabilities” and disadvantages, functional and useful for the society, it’s more or less consented and accepted. To not forget, Era 02 was for Homeworld a time of crisis in the production of gems due to less resources, so it’s not so shocked to see gems like Amethyst, or our Peridot, with less compared to the Era 01 gems, but still capable to fulfil a purpose.

Blue, for goddammit sake, let Garnet alone, together alone, thank you. at least, I’m content they included in this episode more lore, talking about the other types of “Garnets” presented on this planet: the Hessonites, of which we already have some acknowledge, thanks to the name dropped previously in Legs from Here to Homeworld and the contribution of  the “Save the light” game, that gives us clues on how they look like (someone else, beside me, prays to have the pleasure to see the same Hessonite from the game in the show? That would be cool, I can’t deny);

but also the Demantoids

And the Pyropes

However, who Blue just listed apparently are not invited at the ball. I’m not sure what kind of gems the ones presented above are, but they don’t seem to be Garnets however (the designs of those on the left – the green/yellow group – are kinda fascinating, not the same in my tastes for the ones on the right, but it concerns almost the “Thomas the Tank Engine” gems. Bad design in my opinion, but good memes for that. Interesting the choice to their “skirts” resembling gears, reminding Homeworld reflects a perfectly mechanic system where everyone has its specific place and purpose, working as, in fact, a gear in this immense society, and by fulfilling that purpose, this said society moves on and on, like a huge mechanism moved by the work of every single of its components – it’s also directly/indirectly underlined by their dancing afterwards, especially in the shooting sequence from above).

Look, look how many beautiful Garnets. Jokes aside, I’m really happy having the chance to see other sapphires (other rubies would same welcomed, of course), I already get in sympathy the cheek-gem one and the other few steps behind with a similar hairstyle like our Sapphire, but shorter:

oooh look these sapphires that never saw it comiiiiing

This is a one more time love for Garnet: even if she says moments before she’d not come, annoyed and angry for Blue Diamond’s talk to follow with head down the rules, she decides to do it for Steven, as Connie suggested, to give him the maximum support at the point to stay unfused for him. This, is real love too.

Aaand now here it comes the Diamonds!! Spectacular entry on the red carpet. Yellow is particular amused about how the project of the ball turned out, complimenting with Pink/Steven for the result (if she arrives to the point to congratulate with you and said that your idea is brilliant, you really did a good job then).

(same we could say for the future episodes)

E X T R A diamonds posing the way of their murals portrait.

as it is releasing sparkles and shimmers through the throne room at your subjects. because they’re glimmering and magnificent (shine like a diamond 🎶)

Icons. I adore. I can’t blame the random crow gem dropping tears, it’s so relatable I’d do the same.

Or the other one getting thrilled by the entrance of Yellow Diamond. I can’t blame her either.

But honestly, dat blue diamond hips sway. She is so elegant in her postures, a queen.

I know it sound so out of contest in the current talking but damn, Blue Diamond’s voice is so ASMR, soft and gentle. I especially feel nice chills hearing her says “you’re doing great”. Just. Fantastic.

“White Diamond… has more important things to attend to”  but 🙃, for real bro? It’s fucking new Homeworld Era ball. Pink Diamond return!! guess it’s important???? Poor Steven, he was so hopeful to catch the opportunity to finally talk to her (comparing my reaction with his when this was announced you won’t find any difference)

“Therefore, I will be here to observe in her place.”

How nobody says nothing about? a P-E-A-R-L that has the permission to stay on her diamond’s throne and be presented at her diamond’s place in sostitution. I don’t believe is something allowed to the other pearls (owed by a diamond or another high rank gem), to substitute their master and sit on their place during these events, even for Yellow P. or Blue P., or even our Pearl in her time on Homeowrld at the service of Pink Diamond. But maybe due to being the pearl of the most important Diamond and, if it’s her Diamond that orders her, it’s understandable and accepted. Dunno buddies.

Also, among all these crowds, it makes me remember Zircon’s words at the trial of what kind of gems were once in Pink Diamond’s entourage: where are the Agates, since there’re amethysts and quartz soldiers in attendance. Wasn’t their job to keep them on the line? And those sapphires? Are Pink Diamond’s? Or, since sapphires are considered aristocratic and not so common gems, this small group represent the only and all sapphires in the entire Homeworld? Another question, if not and there’d be others to meet, all Homeworld!Sapphires are all like classical blue sapphires or exist others of different types, like Padparadscha, but without being “off-colors”?

Plus, I’m sure the green/yellow gems are not from PD’s court but from Blue and Yellow’s (tiny hinted by those two react with emotion at their entrance, and we don’t see them greeting Pink like the other group do), but… there is none White Diamond’s gems (except the pearl, of course). After all, Yellow Pearl said  gems by the Diamonds are accepted or rejected. Think about it, maybe it’s why there’re no white gems…

But seriously tho, does White Diamond actually have her own court or directly ALL the entire society with all its gems is considered as “her court”, the other Diamonds included? Since her being the Mother of all gem kind and its supreme ruler, that would actually make more sense than the other way around.

Ok now, everyone get crazy about Connie’s “clever” move to drag Steven into dancing with her. I want to say, I don’t doom Connie for, quoting from others, “have been dumb”, instead, I appreciate her effort to cheering her friend up, as he always does to her. She knows she can’t totally be part of this world (due to many things, not being a gem, living a kind of life style so different from Homeworld standards, another mind-setting, and also c’mon, she is just a very young girl, you can’t pretend) , but she wants to stay on Steven’s side and support him as much as she can, to make smile again a friend so emotionally and mentally tired and down. She believed few moments of dance, enough to raise up Steven’s moral, would not hurt anyone, and no one intended to fuse, that was accidental. Many other replied that, thinking of it, every time that they danced on screen, they fused, so how did not see that coming?. Yes, every time on screen, but all the other times, off-screen? Like, on other afternoons, and at Garnet’s wedding after the ceremony, we don’t see them on the dance floor but I’m sure they didn’t miss the occasion to dance together and have fun. Not less important to mention, it was supposed to be a call-back, as the title of the episode, at “Alone Together”, as “The question” from the previous arc did with the older episode “The Answer”.

Plus, even Stevonnie is so adorable with Pink Diamond’s outfit. Pure bae.

While watching this gesture with the hands, I like to think is Steven and Connie individually still holding hands from the dancing, just a second before realizing now the hands of one became the hands of the other as well.

Oh, and there we are. Things fucked up in the worst of the scenarios. (there’d be a lot to say in particular about White Pearl’s frown at the sign of Connie and Steven twirling happily together, but all my thoughts I collected in a separated post, giving to that theory its own space, that I’d link here). Yellow whisper with tight teeth “Pink what are you doing?” is a cause of bad news.

And then the Crystal Gems come at the rescue, with Garnet and Opal (!!! before taking her down in 0.2 seconds, why this cartoon network, do you really want, at the end of the series, people coming up with videos like “every time Opal shows up” just to be, if everything went good, two and half minutes long? Is what you really want, CN?)

But the real surprise came with her:

from the end credits of the episode it’s “Jade”, she is actually very adorable: this little missing tooth, these sunshine eyes and the gem-stones placed like two puffy cheeks make her even more sweet (judging by the combination of her dress, I was right saying the yellow and green gem from before during the entrances of the diamonds belong respectively to Yellow’s and Blue’s court). It’s admirable having the courage to do “coming out”, encouraged by the CG’s bravery, standing for what they have fate in and for what is right, even if it means getting against the society’s stricter rules and meet the judge of the rulers themselves, with all the possible consequences. I’m sure she believed Pink/Steven, by her influence dictated by her high rank status, would approve and legalize cross-gem fusions and decided to stay by this diamond side. “I knew I couldn’t be the only one” is sorrowful to hear, so away from Homeworld’s eyes exist other gems of different types that fuse for love, but have to keep it hidden to not meet an horrible fate (shattered or possibly harvested). That’s sad. Let them be.

Also, love Stevonnie and Opal staring at Garnet like “yo man, you’re the fusion expert, what about that?”, and Garnet is just idk stuff dudes.

ok but, it’s not that Ruby and Sapphire lost their wedding rings after being poofed, right? … right…? (#edit after ChangeYourMind watching: thank the Lord it didn’t happen)

Scene: *everyone poofed, delirium, everything went wrong and Stevonnie is grounded* the evil gremlin inside my head: new outfits/new intro?

Last thing, I just want to make a point about Stevonnie’s “prison”:

A dark locked place at the top of a tower. Now, some time ago, Rebecca Sugar took part on a livestream with other cartoon creators, on the occasion, while talking about different stuff, Alex Hirsch (creator of Gravity Falls), asks miss Sugar what would happen if a gem was placed in a dark room for a long amount of time. Rebecca simply replied “I can’t answer that”, surely because if she does, it could be spoiler for the upcoming episodes (this constant keeping it secret is an ongoing situation with her, lol). The fact is, we all know the physical form of a gem is a projection of light that shapes in actual matter, to allow them to interact, act and speak, and it’s from light itself a gem takes her nutriment (and not from food, like organics do).

So deprive a gem of light (whatever kind: the sunlight, the moonlight, the stars’ light, natural light or artificial light), of her only nutriment, is the equivalent of making her “starving”? Adopted as a form of torture for gems considered needing a punishment for a possible wrong action?

A gem in a room surrounded only by darkness, without even the tiniest glimmer of light, what happens when she reaches her limit and lost all the energies left? Would she became a simple, faded, inanimate gemstone as the our ones from Earth?

Bonus: Who noticed that?

Since the answer I always had the anxiety these two rubies get shattered for ineptitude towards the mission to strike down the rebels and protect Sapphire. I’m glad they’re still around then.

[one-hell-of-otaku-is-here]

15 tag game

Not tagging anyone in particular so yeah im aready kind of breaking rules again but whatever lol. Tagged by wonderful @lycoryllis one again ^^

1. Are you named after anyone?

Nope, my name was chosen by draw by my fathers ex collegues. If I was a boy I would be either called Thomas or by my father Peter and knowing him he would definitely choose his name so yeah

2. When was the last time you cried?

Eeh probably two weeks ago?? I had a pretty bad weekend back then

3. Do you have kids?

No

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

Sometimes, it really depends on the people I’m around. Tbh I do not see myself to be a sarcastic person so I guess it depends on the situation. I think that if I use it then i tis mostly around my family and close friends. I do not open up to strangers or at school or in  public to people so it is only natural I would be less sarcastic

5. What’s the first thing you notice about people?

In general, I think I look at theor face firts then rest of the body. I do think I judge people based on theri first impression on me at least for a while before i get to know them better soo I am not immune to making prejuduces about them. I guess if someone were to look in my head they would want to have nothing to do with me lol I tend to judge the way they talk or what face expression they make biut mostly I judge their appearance. Sight I think that is also why I cant get boyfriend – I have a certain prefernces even in looks but those guys tend to be the worst or the y are gay or they are taken so yeah

6. What’s your eye color?

Grey blue – I was born with blue eyes but you know how they change during life – my dad has very strange color combinantions and I inhereted that from him I guess – in differnt light they may appear green, gray or even blue. All in all just know they are mostly greyish blue

7. Scary movie or happy ending?

I generally don’t like scary movies unless we are talking about surreal horor or psychological horror such as was anime and game Higurashi. I do not do well with gore but that series was waay more than that and so I did not mind. I think I do like happy endings over scary ones – I grew up on  fairytales and later as a teen on rom cons after all- but lately since I started to like thrillers and crimi series –and played  lots of games with that genre- I started to welcome bad endings too. It is fiction after all and sometimes some pretty shitty but well written bad ending can be waay better than happy ending / thats is why I was sad to learn everything turned out well in Clannad – the ending with Tomoya losing all was freaking sad but amazing and realistic af which I always appreciate

8. Any special talents?

I tend to think I am just average in everything I do. I am so jealous over anyone who has high IQ for example it feels like those guys just swim through life without any worries or care in the world whike I struggle here in academics. If they appear arrogant about it that is. Aside from itellegence I do not excel in other areas that much as well.

9. Where were you born?

In a very small country in Middle Europe – we are surrounded by countries such as Poland, Hungary and even Ukraine and Austria. I was born in second biggest city here but compared to rest of Europe we do not stand out that much. I leave our flag here so you can check it out. We have a beautiful mountains up in north for which we are well known for and our surrounding countries often visit them

10. What are your hobbies?

I like lots of things but not all of them can be called hobbies I do not engage in them that much. Those hobbies would be walking with my dog, swimming, cycling and dancing. Then there are my true hobbies – those include reading books, playing otomr or RPG games and as you all know anime and manga. I used to draw a lot too as a kid but I am not good and i tis not something I can do as I am nt patient enough. Then I also used to sing a lot with my grandpa. I think singing would have becomem my oassion and a career if I could actually sing, Musicv is also one of my true hobbies I love listening to my favourite bands and my favourite anime opening, endings or OSTs. Mazbe one day I decide to learn how to play guitar – my one and only attempt to enjoy music at its fullest – I have been playing wit that idea from time to time in the past but again I am too lazy to star anything new at this point.

11. Do you have any pets?

We have a dog bamed Ben he is 12 years old now ^^

12. What sports do you play/have you played?

I did swimming, soccer, netball and volleyball school during PE pnly which I kinda enjoyed. Indon’t play any particular sports or exercise

13. How tall are you?

Around 5’1 (156.5 cm) yes I am a smol bean too(>_<) – it is a still mystery to me how I could stop and did not grow at least that 0.5 cm

14. Favorite subject in school?

History, Art -bless my elemetary days the only days I had art classes in my life-, Literature and Social studies – and that mainly Psychology and Philosophy- if I did not decide I am not gonna listen to people problems as to avoid possibe depression-and trust me I was thinking about taking Psychology course a lot -even my dad told me I should- then I would. Also I loved talking about philosophers I think history gaves us a very inetresting ones but once again I did not see any point in talking Philosophy if I am not planning to become philospher myself ofc. I guess I only liked to learn about them – not to study and analyse them for the rest of my life.

15. Dream job?

My decision to take English language course was probably not the brightest idea but it was the only idea I had and could take at the time. I still have not freaking idea what to do with myself I am kind of still stuck at stalemate. The first step was to stalemate what I did not wanted to do, and I found I mostly crossed every option I considered – I have enough thought about acting as I used to do that as a kid and was quite good, but I have not further experience for more than 10 years. The one thing I always loved are books and I used to think I could live as a writer, but real-life situation is different isn’t it. Well, I have never thought about it much up until I discovered Japanese literature thanks to BSD and it I like a whole new world opened to me so now there is a tiny voice in my head telling me that that’s what I must do. I still have no idea what job I am gonna do once I have my degree but one thing is certain to me- one day I am gonna wake up from this slumber and write a book – not because I have to but because I want to.

If anyone should do this then: @pastel-sea-creature and @blackandwhitemusician Ily guys

[codename-mallorygrace]

Turnabout Farm [prologue]

To get away from a scandal, a horrible former best friend, and a soul sucking company that is Joja Corporation, Phoenix Wright moves to the farm his grandfather left him. Now, with only his daughter by his side, some clothes, and no farming skills, he’ll become the “Wright” farmer to breathe life into this tiny town.

Of course, some colorful townspeople will make this new lifestyle more interesting than he ever thought. It’s a whole new world for farmer Phoenix. But he’ll make the best of it! …if the magic, monsters, and budding-grade-school crush doesn’t end him.

a.k.a: Stardew Valley AU with Ace Attorney characters that doesn't need to exist; don't need to know Stardew to enjoy

[prologue][chapter 1] [2] [3] [ao3 link]

Moving In

When the bus runs over a pothole, Phoenix wakes up from his nap. He keeps his eyes closed as he straightens his head and sits up right. Once his neck isn’t twisted like a pretzel, he blinks his eyes open. The first thing he spots is a road sign saying, Stardew Valley 0.5 mi. It seems like he’s slept through most of trip, which is probably for the best. There’s only so much of lush green mountains he can take.

“Afternoon, Sleeping Beauty,” Trucy says without looking up from her cards.

“Hey…” his voice is a bit raspy, so he clears his throat before continuing, “sweetie. Have you been awake the whole time?”

“Nah,” she keeps focus on her cards, “I woke up a few minutes ago.”

Phoenix makes an agreement sound and turns to look out the window. He can see his reflection in the bus’ window. He’s still wearing his grey hoodie, a white T-shirt, and his locket. His face is pretty unshaven. He hasn’t seen the point in shaving since he’s been out of work for the last few months. Now he’s kind of curious what he looks like with an actual beard.

He puts his hands in his pockets and shifts around to go back to sleep. But his plan is interrupted when he feels paper in his pockets. Deciding to take out the piece of paper that changed his, and his daughter’s, life, he reads the letter for the thousandth time:

Dear Phoenix,

If you’re reading this, you must be dire need of a change.

The same thing happened to me, long ago. I’d lost sight of what mattered most in life… real connections with other people and nature. So I dropped everything and moved to the place I truly belong.

I’ve enclosed the deed to that place… my pride and joy: Wright Farm. It’s located in Stardew Valley, on the southern coast. It’s the perfect place to start your new life.

This was my most precious gift of all, and now it’s yours. I know you’ll honor the family name, my boy.

Good luck.

Love, Grandpa

P.S: If the Fey family is still there, say hello to them for me, will you?

It’s a bit late for him to have second thoughts, but doubt stays in his mind. He looks back at the light of his life.

“You ready, kiddo?” he says. She’s still doing something with her cards. No doubt a new trick. How she can practice slight of hand in a squished bus seat, he’ll never know, but Trucy would be the one to do it.

“Yup! It’ll be cool to live in a small town,” Trucy brightly says.

He’s glad for her cheerfulness, but all Trucy has known is the city.

“I hope you’re still saying that a few weeks from now,” he says.

“Don’t you know that I'm a cockroach.”

“Cockroach? I thought you were a magical girl, sweetie.”

She put her cards away in her pocket, “I am. I’m a magical cockroach girl! I’m magical and totally adaptable. So don’t worry about me, Daddy.”

“If you say so,” Phoenix takes off her hat and ruffles her hair. Her cheerfulness, even if it’s a front for her worries, is nice to hear and gives him confidence in his decision.

It's part of her charm.

“Daddy!”

He laughs as the bus pulls to a stop in front of a small empty field with a lonely bus stop sign.

“We’re here!” Trucy cheers and hurriedly gets her stuff off the shelf above their heads.

Phoenix, at a slower pace, follows her off the bus. Once he steps down, he sees Trucy frozen in front of a lady with a sharp look in her eyes. Her gaze land on him, but she doesn’t say anything.

“Er… Hello. I’m Phoenix Wright. This is my daughter Trucy. We’re new to town.”

“Yes, I’m well aware,” the lady finally says. “I’m Lana Skye, I run the local ranch. So it’s appears that we’ll be business partners soon. The Chief, Mayor Fey, sent me here to bring you to your farm. As the Chief is busy putting on the finishing touches on your house.”

“Ah… Thank you… Miss Skye.”

“It’s no bother,” she says with a frown.

If it’s no bother, then why does it look like you would rather be anywhere else.

“Miss Skye!” Trucy, now apparently done being scared of Miss Skye, says, “You work with animals? What kind?”

“I’ll tell you on the way to your farm.”

As Miss Skye leads them, she talks about the sheep, cows, rabbits, chickens, and even ducks on she and her sister raise.

“When did you start raising animals?” Trucy asks as she skips next to Miss Skye. Phoenix hangs back as he’s carrying all of their luggage.

“Maybe 20 years ago? My sister and I have been here so long that I’ve lost track.”

“What’s it like working with animals?” Trucy asks.

Uh oh… she better not be getting the idea about magic tricks with animals. Rabbits are okay, but I’ll put my foot down on cows.

“It’s certain a different challenge from working with people. But our animals are all well behaved. They aren’t a lot of trouble.”

“Do you like it here?” Trucy asks again.

“Yes. I would say I do.”

“What are the people here like?”

Without missing a beat, she says, “Eccentric.”

“Really?” Trucy’s little skip turns into a big hop.

“Yes. It certainly makes a small town more interesting.”

“See, Daddy?”

“Hmm?” he stopped paying attention to their conversation as his arms got more and more tired from carrying everything. Trucy’s magic equipment is heavier than it appears.

“If there are interesting people here, then there’s no way I’ll miss the city,” Trucy declares.

“I hope so, sweetie.”

From the corner of his eyes, Phoenix could see Miss Skype looking at them with a small smile. But when he turned to face her, the smile was gone.

“We’re here,” Miss Skye gestures outward.

Here isn’t much in Phoenix’s mind. Here is a large overgrown farm with a small wooden house at the top. Here the ground looks fertile. Here trees, weeds, stones, and small logs litter the whole place.

His grandfather must’ve been the last person to live here.

Guess I know what I’m doing for the next few days.

“Is something the matter, Mister Wright?” Miss Skye turns to him.

Her face is completely blank and he gives her a "can you not see what the issue is" look.

Understanding the disbelief on his face, she replies, “Sure it’s a bit overgrown, but the soil underneath is still good. I’m sure you’ll have the area cleared in no time.”

After speaking, Miss Skye continues to walk to the front of the house. Trucy gladly follows. Phoenix gets over the daunting work that is his life now, and he walks to the others.

“And here is your new home,” Miss Skye says.

At a closer look, Phoenix sees that the house is pretty run down. There’s a pretty big hole at the end of the porch, small dents on the front wall, and holes throughout the walls.

What have you gotten me into, Gramps?

As he’s looking for more issues with the house, a woman wearing a black overalls, a dark grey shirt, and yellow scarf comes out of the house’s front door.

“Ah,” the yellow scarf woman speaks up, “you must be the new farmer!” She then walks down the steps, which creak, to stand in front of him and Trucy. “Welcome! I’m Mia Fey, the mayor of Pelican Town.”

“Hi!” Trucy hops in place, “I’m Trucy Wright, and this my Daddy, Phoenix. It’s great to be here.”

“What she said,” Phoenix lamely says.

“It’s great to meet you two. I hope your move here wasn’t too rough.”

“Ah, well, we were asleep for most of it,” Phoenix says.

“Heh, probably for the best. Anyway, everyone has been asking about you. It’s not every day that someone moves in. So you’re quite a big deal right now.”

“So we’ll get to meet everyone?” Trucy eagerly asks.

“Hopefully,” a sly look overcomes Mayor Fey’s look. “How about I challenge you two to meet everyone in town?”

“Challenge accepted!” Trucy says as she excitedly jumps. She sticks out a hand towards the mayor, who happily takes it.

“I hope to hear a positive report back.”

Miss Skye speaks up, “The Wrights must be tired, we should probably leave them soon, Chief."

Mayor Fey nods, “You’re right. You two got a lot of work ahead of you, so we’ll let you rest for the night. I hope you soon get a chance to meet everyone and explore the town a bit.”

Phoenix gives a small head bow, “Thank you so much for everything.”

“It’s no big deal. Again, we’re just happy to have a new person join us in our small town,” Mayor Fey waves as she and Miss Skye turn to walk away.

He and Trucy wave in return, but Mayor Fey stops in front of a medium size box that Phoenix somehow missed on the way in.

“I almost forgot, if you want to sell anything, just place things in this box. I’ll come by at night to collect it.”

“Really? Just like that?” Phoenix couldn’t believe the mayor would do that for him.

“Of course! Just part of my mayoral duties. But the stores around here will also gladly buy things from you too.”

“Good to know,” Phoenix says.

“If you have any questions about farming or the town, Lana and I will gladly help you. Good luck!” Mayor Fey says as she and Miss Skye turn to leave once again.

The Wrights continue to wave at the women’s back until they’re gone from view.

Phoenix speaks before Trucy can drag him off to an adventure, “Let’s put our stuff away and see how bad the damage is.”

“Oh, come on, Daddy,” Trucy pouts, “it’s not that bad. It’s… rustic!”

“Crusty, is more like it.”

“Rude! My great-grandfather left me this farm, and I’ll restore it to its glory days.”

“I believe his will left the farm in my name.”

“Yeah, well, we both know that I’m the one with a mind for business, so the farm is mine.”

“Do you pay the bills, sweetie?”

“No. But do you?”

“Touché. Very well, Master Farmer Trucy,” Phoenix reaches into one of the bags and pulls out a rusty metal key, “will you do the honors of opening the front door.”

“Of course, my apprentice,” Trucy takes the key and strides up to the door.

Like the showman she is, Trucy pushes the door with a flair. The open door reveals single room with a television, a fireplace, a table with two chairs, and two beds. Only one chair and one bed looks new, the rest looks pretty old. Someone probably bought the extra furniture when the mayor realized that two people would be moving onto the farm.

“Well, I guess it could be worst,” Phoenix says as they step into their new home.

“That’s the spirit!” Trucy says as she runs to jump onto the older bed, which she now has claimed as hers.

“You sure you want that one?”

“Yeah, it has character!”

“If you say so,” Phoenix says as he starts bringing everything into the house.

He brings in three small bags before Trucy helps him bring in her magic equipment. They really don’t have much: just clothes, a few mementos, and Trucy magic equipment.

It doesn’t take long for them to settle in, but they were exhausted once they finished. Luckily they had some food with them, so they didn’t need to leave the one-room-house for dinner.

After they warmed up their leftover pizza in the fireplace, they watch TV for the rest of the night.

[definitely-not-a-wasp]

Adding onto this as a demiromantic asexual person, if/when you decide to ship someone on the ace or aro spectrum, you cannot, cannot use “they don’t have sex so I’m not erasing their asexuality” or “aromanticism is a spectrum so I’m still including them” or “what about demiromantics?” as an excuse. I know the most about the last one (because, again, demiromantic), and let me say, that kind of stuff makes a lot of aspec people want to chew glass. 

It took me a long time to figure this out, but the truth is, grey aros and demiromantics do not experience romance the way allosexuals do, and I don’t think a lot of alloromantics realize that. Which isn’t your fault, but something that you have to know and accept if you want to write an aspec person in a romantic relationship.

We don’t experience crushes the same way as allo people. We don’t have the same courting process. (Imagine: you and your partner of one week, except you know all of their deepest darkest secrets and saw them with the stomach flu. And this was before you developed a crush) Our relationships, according to my allo friends, are at times completely alien to the average relationship. Writing an aspec character like an alloromantic but picky (and yes, that’s what I see most often in writing) will not work, and is very much the aspec equivalent of a 0.5 second scene of two background characters kissing. If you’re really so desperate to ship an aro/ace/aro-coded/ace-coded/etc person, put thought into it. And research. And if you can, talk to aspec people. You will learn things that you never thought to ask about. (For example: I’m demiromantic and in a long term relationship. I also go through periods of really intense romance repulsion.)

And, going off of queerplatonic relationships, please look into those. You want a character to form an intense emotional bond with another character, but one or both characters are aro/aspec/aro-coded? Queerplatonic relationships are incredibly rewarding and also a shit ton more flexible than traditional relationships. And they’re not exclusive to aro/aces! Perfectly allosexual people can have them, too, and be dating another person as well. A few minutes of research and they’re not that hard to write, and they’re just as rewarding as romantic relationship.

Also, OP put this very nicely, but I’m not a nice person, so: Every time you use the phrase “Aces can still love” with love implying be romantic, You owe taaap.org $5.00. The aromantic community (and most of the asexual community) can see your subtext and I promise it’s not as progressive as you think it is.

So there's been an increase in canon ace characters nowadays, which is excellent and a huge delight. But then there's the tricky issue of shipping, especially when aro or aro-coded characters are involved. Asexual characters' lack of romantic interest is often brushed aside in fandom with justifications of "they might change" or "it's a spectrum," etc. etc.

It's a spectrum, yes, and that's all good. It's great to explore that aspect of it--gray- and demiromantics deserve representation too. And of course, people are free to do whatever they want with fanon. But, honest observation here? It seems that people are a little too eager to use alloromantic/demi/gray identities as an excuse to ignore aromanticism (and even then, the nuance of the aro aspects of those identities are ignored).

IMHO, taking the time to understand and explore the many ways an aro-ace character (or hell, any character really) can love, approach relationships, and experience life in an entirely aromantic way is leagues more meaningful and creative than tacking on the "aces can still love/aro is a spectrum" disclaimer every time (to the point that the motivations for doing so are clear), or throwing aromanticism under the bus entirely.

Like, if shipping is really the big deciding factor in whether or not to respect representation (which sucks, but this is fandom), then good fucking news, it's possible to ship aromantic characters anyway without erasing their aromanticism at all??? It isn't a black-or-white deal, y'all. Idk. I'm tired. It's a slow process. For consideration, though: queerplatonic ships. They need to be more of a thing. They're real sweet. Real nice.

[drunklander]

Drunj!Der Yells About Outlander

Thoughts on Ep. 301

Ermagherd guys. It’s been 84 years but the new season is finally here! And not gonna lie, I was about 50/50 excited and nervous for the new episodes to come out because ugh season two…

But I actually really liked the episode! I felt the things I was supposed to feel! I wanted to punch the people I thought I’d want to punch! I yelled a lot of things at Frank because I still hate him! My desire to smash the patriarchy grew three times! It went by really, really fast! Can they all go by this fast so it’s not like waiting 84 more years for Jamie and Claire to get back together? Cool.

Anywho, ramblings are under the cut. I split them up between Boston and Scotland just to keep it organized but I *loved* the editing of the episode. And the direction. Good job, new director guy!

(omfg i forgot how long i get when i write these things and also how fucking long it takes to like proofread and format once i’m sober...)

Scotland

There are no more bagpipes in the theme music and it’s making me feel things. *shakes fist at Bear in the best way possible*

The shot with all the bodies is powerful and everything but I can’t also help feeling a little salty that season two/DIA exists since lol nothing matters. They’re all dead and they were always going to be dead and I just really didn’t like last season but this is the new season sooo moving on.

The body they zoom over after the piles of bodies is Murtagh, right? Because it looks like Murtagh. And Amazon’s x-ray thing is telling me it’s Murtagh. So Murtagh’s not getting saved? Because when they talk about him later in the episode I got my hopes wayyy up that he was going to come back at some point in the season. So now I guess they’re going to have Jamie maybe remember later on? Like maybe keep the part on the ship after Claire is hurt when he tells her the story about how he dies? Anywho, I’m going to go have feelings about Murtagh now.

This killing of the wounded is the most brutal parallel to Prestonpans, guys. (RIP Lt. Babyface)

Also, Sam Heughan and Tom Hardy should star in a two-man show where Sam acts everything without speaking and Tom does the whole thing with his Bane/Mad Max/Dunkirk masks on so he like only has an eyebrow left visible.

Seriously though. Murder me with feels why don’t you, dying!Jamie.

And it’s not supposed to be a surprise that it’s BJR on top of him, right? Like they didn’t think they were going to make that a reveal or anything did they? Because like who the fuck else would it be...

I’m really glad they edited it this way with it all out of sequence and cutting back and forth and stuff though. Like Prestonpans was straightforward and it was awesome. But man does this just hit me in the “omg they’re all doomed and Jamie’s dying and that’s what he wants so badly so like I want him to get what he wants but he can’t die because #plot” feels. Plus the nod to the book where his memories of the battle are all jumbled.

JFC, BPC. STFU about your birthday cup. What the actual fuck is wrong with you. How are you so bad at this. It’s been more than a year since season two and I still just want to punch your very punchable face.

Ok I know Jamie at the stones is supposed to be all heartbreaking and moving and shit, and it is, I guess, as much as it can be in the 0.5 seconds we see him there. But him smelling Claire’s plaid just reminds me of this post and I lol’ed an inappropriate amount for the moment.

I *really* want to punch BPC’s “oh shit, we’re fucked” face. Like when Jamie tells him to order the charge while there’s still a chance and his face is just like that look of horror over what’s happening like WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU THINK WAS HAPPENING YOU FUCKING IDIOT WITH YOUR FUCKING BIRTHDAY CUP FROM YOUR DAD. LOOK THE FUCK AROUND YOU. THIS ISN’T A FUCKING GAME AND OMFG SOMEONE PLEASE PUNCH HIM.

Also inappropriately chuckling at Jamie murdering a dude with fucking divot, but moving on because…

MURTAGH!!! Omg both of their faces when they see each other and “Where’ve you been, enjoying a wee whisky?” *Murtagh casually kills a dude* “You’re welcome.” I JUST LOVE THE TWO OF THEM SO MUCH. Also, thanks for the heads up that the Lallybroch guys are home safe, Murtagh. Move over, Game of Thrones season seven. Outlander has had teleporting since the beginning.

Outlander: Where Time Travel Is Real, But Travel Time Isn’t

All that training in Je Suis Prest and they end up just charging in. Because lol nothing matters. But I did really like Je Suis Prest so whatever.

I’m not sure I like this weird “magic hour” lighting on the Jamie and BJR fight? Like I get if that’s just when they filmed it that’s one thing, and that their fight is like for *all the closure* so it’s almost separate from the rest of the battle. But I’m not feeling it?

Super glad that we do get that closure of seeing Jamie kill him though, and that Jamie remembers it so he can like process and move on from that part of his life.

Them landing like in a hug and then basically spooning is a bit on the nose though, show. Although like thanks I guess for having him keep Jamie alive and not bleeding out by literally laying on his wound?

Oh the dragonfly in amber. I’m still not a fan of the gifts at the stones thing from last year. But I guess I’m ok with him having something of Claire’s to hold on to so like when vision!Claire appears there’s like something physical tying her to him?

Also, vision!Claire is fucking stunning.

I swear to fuck Jamie thinking he’s seeing Claire in the early episodes is going to murder me.

“I’m not gonna leave ye to die in the mud. Even if ye are a pig-headed loon who canna hold his whisky.” “Drink you under the table.” Literally dying Jamie Fraser defending his alcohol tolerance is my new aesthetic. 

I’m glad they show him dropping the amber because like there goes his last physical memory of Claire. *sobs quietly* But also to show how it eventually ended up in the museum for Claire to see last season. Because I def thought they weren’t going to bring that back again and her seeing it last season was just a weird bit of haha look how this is here now for Claire to see! Feel things, monkey, feel the feelings! (That said, I don’t know if I like it enough to merit the time spent on it at the stones last year…)

Ok so I’m starting to think that Murtagh is really dead and that really was him that we saw on the ground at the beginning and they’re just bringing him up again to established that no one knows what happens to him so they can go back later in the season and have Jamie remember him dying and then I’ll have all the Murtagh feelings.

(Seriously though, please fucking save Murtagh!)

I really, *really* love Rupert in the scenes in the house. I love that they let him step up and, with Jamie out of commission, really become the leader of these men. His “No, my lord. Traitors all. Shall we be hanged then.” has just that right amount of fuck you in it, but his “Thank you, my lord.” is definitely genuine. Like yeah, he’s going to die, but at least it’s an honorable man who’s going to kill him in an honorable way?

Seriously though, I love Hal.

Ugh, Jamie saying “she’s gone.” That’s going to be a thing isn’t it. Like with Jenny and then with LJG. And it’s going to murder me every time isn’t it. Ok.

The goodbye with Rupert is my everything. The humor and feelings and Angus and omg. I have feelings.

And the way Rupert’s voice changes when he says “aye.” And when he says his name. Guys why is my face wet.

“No man in the king’s custody will be shot lying down on my watch.” I fucking love you, Hal.

Gah, the way Jamie’s voice changes and becomes stronger when he says his name, like Rupert’s did. It’s like it’s their chance to go out with all of their dignity. But then Jamie’s fades because he’s so weak. *sobs*

“Does the name John Grey mean anything to you?” “Well no, because even though he gave your father’s name and title plus his birth order last year, so he clearly wasn’t trying to hide his identity or anything, the writers decided to keep him in the script as William Grey. There really was no reason to do that. They could have just made him John Grey from the start. But they didn’t. For reasons I will never understand. So no, the name John Grey means nothing to me. Good day, sir. I said good day.”

Gah like Jamie is so sad that I really want to shoot him and put him out of his misery but I also want ep. 306 so thanks for being noble af, Hal.

I am def going to start using “This is a deuce of a situation.” in my everyday life.

Oh hey, Jenny and Ian. See you next week!

Boston

Ok but that first shot of Claire. Like that resigned look that this is her life now and she’s trying to convince herself that she’s ok with it. And the little sigh like “ok I can do this” but like more that she thinks she *needs* to do this. Break my heart a little right there, Claire. Also, please leave Frank so you can take the time you need to heal and grieve and process instead of keeping it all bottled up inside to live up to some “conditions” because that’s really not healthy.

“Are you sure we can afford all this?” “Oh totally, you see we need to have enough room to like fit the camera operators in and the sound guys and the rest of the crew and some lighting stuff and also it looks way better on TV if we have space to move around so we can definitely afford this wicked spacious house. Gotta save the cramped conditions for prisons and ships and stuff. Don’t worry about the rent, dear.”

No shade at all meant on the set. I’m just silly.

“You’ve always said you wanted a real home.” “It certainly is real.” BUT IT'S NOT HOME BECAUSE JAMIE IS HER HOME AND JAMIE ISN'T HERE. *has feelings*

“The study can be wherever the lady of the house desires.” … “The kitchen, where presumably, the lady of the house will be rustling up various appetizing dishes.” Yes, Claire, you’re the lady of the house! You can totally decide where my study is going to be! But lol your place is in the kitchen because you’re a woman and that’s what women do! Fuck you, Frank.

I almost like the handful of scenes where Claire and Frank are getting along on the surface because it’s almost like a window into what their life was like pre-War. And in each instance, I cannot see Claire being happy in that sort of relationship long term even if she hadn’t gone through the stones. Like your cowboy impression is cute, Frank, but your tendency to treat your wife like an accessory instead of a person is not.

That said, WHO THE FUCK CARES BECAUSE IT’S NOT FRANK’S STORY AND WE DON’T NEED TO SEE WHO THEY WERE BEFORE BECAUSE IT’S NOT A STORY ABOUT FRANK AND CLAIRE.

Ok so seeing Claire struggling to light the stove gave me the same feelings the gif did. But seeing her sit on the couch and then see the fireplace I was just like OMG DO IT! DO IT DO IT DO IT! AND SHE FUCKING DID IT! @abreathofsnowandashes’ POST IS BASICALLY CANON AND I LITERALOL’ED WAY TOO HARD.

Claire waxing poetic about food cooked over an open fire is making me feel more feelings than it should.

But seriously her face in reaction to Betty Draper over here is awesome. I need Claire to start a neighborhood group where she turns all the women into massive feminists please and thank you.

“He likes surprises, does he?” “Oh yeah, totally. Last time I surprised him, he almost punched me and then destroyed a shed. So yeah, I’d say he loves them."

Please don’t give Jerry a heart attack, Millie. Claire already had one husband-murdering friend and I think that’s quite enough for one person. Thanks. You’re a peach.

Oh Claire. Oh honey. “Frank is very progressive. Very open-minded.” The look on her face when she says that like she’s trying to convince herself it’s true. Like yes, if you follow all of his conditions, you can stay together and raise the baby. But is it really being open-minded if literally all of his conditions are about you keeping everything locked away so he can go on pretending like everything is back to normal? Or is that just selfish. I’m voting selfish on that one.

“Just cook, clean, raise the kids, look pretty when they meet the boss.” Millie you are literally describing Frank’s ideal wife right now. And I think Claire on some level knows that. RUN AWAY CLAIRE, RUN AWAY! IT’S NOT TOO LATE! THESE ARE ALL THINGS THAT ARE NOT TIME-TRAVEL RELATED! PLEASE WAKE UP AND REALIZE THAT NOT ALL OF YOUR PROBLEMS ARE BECAUSE YOU WENT BACK IN TIME!

Oh her face when Millie says she won’t find another man like Frank. SHE FOUND ONE SO MUCH BETTER AND HE’S NOT DEAD AND SHE’LL GET HIM BACK AND EVERYTHING WILL BE OK AGAIN!

Seriously though. The shots of Claire’s face when they switch back to the Boston side of things. Punch me right in the face with feels why don’t you, show. Like when she’s getting ready to go to Frank’s work thing. That cut from Jamie’s face that’s all full of pain to her face that’s also all full of pain. *sobs quietly* Like this woman is hurting! FFS! Look at everything she went through! Look at everything she lost! And she has no outlet for any of those emotions! And that look of just pain and loneliness and then resignation when Frank calls up to her and quoting Millie… I want to give her a hug and a therapist.

Ok so the scene at Harvard. Thank fuck Frank manages to not be a piece of shit in this scene because I need all my rage for the fucking Dean. I still hate you Frank, but you get a momentary reprieve here. Because this fucking dude needs to be punched in his smug-ass face. Like you’re seriously going to shit on a woman for reading the fucking newspaper?! First of all, don’t fucking ever shit on a woman for reading any-fucking-thing and second of all, your patriarchal bullshit runs so deep you can’t stand a woman reading the most popular newspaper in Boston?! It’s not like she rolled in and was like well I was reading the Atlantic (founded in Boston, what whatttt!) or the Economist or something that your fucking misogynist brain wouldn’t be able to handle. She was literally talking about reading a fucking #HotTake in the fucking local paper.

THAT’S RIGHT CLAIRE, YOU CAN GO TO MED SCHOOL! YOU SHOULD GO TO MED SCHOOL! DO THAT THING AND THEN SURGICALLY DISASSEMBLE THE PATRIARCHY!

Good boy, Frank. Way to stand up for your wife and not suck for once. But remember that little fun fact you just spouted about your wife because that’ll come up again later when I need to yell at you for being a piece of shit.

Omg though. Claire’s face when she says “yes, I’m very happy” is the best “you can go fuck yourself straight to hell” face I’ve ever seen. And grabbing Frank’s hand when she says it is clearly part of that and not like an actual, genuine taking of his hand and he knows that. And I don’t feel bad for him at all in that moment because yeah, he fucking needs that reminder that she’s sitting through this because of him so a tangential fuck you to you, Frank, for bringing me here for this wonderful experience.

"Are you alright? You're very quiet.” “Oh yeah, peachy keen. Just got condescended to for reading a newspaper, was told women were bad at the profession I was born to do and had to pretend to be totally ok with this being my life now. Totally fine.”

For serious, Claire. Your face there. Those feelings you’re feeling. These are not time travel adventure related feelings. These are this life sucks and I hate it feelings. You don’t need to stay here. This is getting super tedious. Frank sucks. Your life with him sucks. You have all this emotional baggage that you have every right to have and no outlet for it. Jamie wouldn’t want you staying in a fucking life that is making you this miserable. The baby hasn’t been born yet, there is still time to bounce before it gets even messier. Argh. Thank fuck there are only two more episodes of this stuff because there are only so many times I can yell JUST GET A FUCKING DIVORCE at the tv.

I felt more feelings than I should have felt at Claire looking at the bird. Like omg Claire’s face as she’s looking at it. Just out there. Being a bird. Doing its bird thing. Being free. YOU COULD BE FREE TOO CLAIRE! GO! BE FREEEEE!

Ok with this tea scene I literally had to google how British people make tea. Like I know I’ve talked about it with people before, like recently, but somehow in my head it wasn’t just like loose in a tin. I can’t even do a proper snarky hashtag about preferring the American way tea is packaged because that would make it seem like I was into a weird sex thing so I guess I’ll just have to blaspheme by saying I like Lipton’s and I’m not sorry.

So Claire likes America because "It's young, it's eager, it's constantly looking toward the future." Or, you could say it's...young, scrappy and hungry! Claire would totally be Hamiltrash. Frank wouldn't be. Fuck you, Frank, it’s a great show. Loosen up, geez.

Ok Frank, why did you go to touch her belly. You clearly know that she doesn’t like that. But you saw an opening when she said it’s “our baby” and you went for it. Like I know you really, really want things to be normal, but fucking don’t proactively touch Claire like that when you know it’s not welcome.

Also, seriously Frank? Have you met Claire? Yes, she’s English. But she grew up fucking all over the world. I don’t think she’s particularly sentimentally attached to the fucking Battle of Hastings. She’s trying to have a conversation with you. She’s opening up. She’s trying to be “normal” with you and share something she’s excited about doing. And your first thing is to question her? Fuck you. You’re a shitty person.

“These are things I fought a war for.” Ok Franky boy. Remember that scene a little bit ago when I said you got a reprieve from my hatred? You know, the one where you found like the singular decent bone in your body and decided to defend Claire for a second? Remember what it was you said? Oh right. SHE WAS A FUCKING COMBAT NURSE YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE. SHE WAS ALSO IN THE WAR. SHE WAS ON THE FUCKING FRONT FUCKING LINES OF THE MOTHERFUCKING WAR. And then guess what?! SHE FUCKING THEN FOUGHT IN ANOTHER WAR! THIS TIME AGAINST THE ENGLISH! AND EVERYONE SHE LOVED DIED! (except not really, hang in there girl) IT’S TOTALLY NORMAL THAT SHE WOULD HAVE CONFLICTED FEELINGS ABOUT ENGLAND AND BE LIKE HEY THIS UNITED STATES PLACE SEEMS OK (*pours one out for the current state of affairs*) I WANT TO MAYBE BE A CITIZEN.

And then this fucker’s like oh it’s something you really want to do? Well you don’t have to because I’ve got it covered. THAT IS NOT THE FUCKING POINT, FRANK! STOP MAKING THIS ABOUT YOU! SHE’S LITERALLY SAYING THAT THIS IS SOMETHING *SHE* WANTS TO DO. WHY ARE YOU SUCH A TWATWAFFLE.

And then he brings in the not letting him touch her shit. Like why couldn’t you have just let this be a fucking normal conversation, Frank. But since you brought it up. Let’s talk about Claire for a minute. Claire is pregnant. Claire was pregnant before. Claire lost her first child. Claire’s current pregnancy is going to result in Jamie’s child. Her fucking last chance to have a part of him in her life. So of course that’s something that’s fucking super emotional and that she’s super protective of. Because she also knows that she can’t fucking tell this child anything about Jamie. Because of your fucking conditions. Like I don’t think you can comprehend how much of a mindfuck that must be, Frank. So maybe don’t fucking touch her stomach if she’s made it clear she doesn’t want you to.

And then! With the fucking unwanted touching. Do you fucking know how many times this woman has been assaulted, Frank?! Hell, the show is not at all explicit that she wasn’t actually raped in the glade in ep. 108. And the deal with the king. And BJR. And the dudes at Leoch. And fucking Dougal. And the gang of dudes in Paris. And ones I’m probably forgetting about. So like if there was ever going to be anyone who might be wicked sensitive about unwanted touching, it’s fucking Claire. BUT GUESS WHAT! AND THIS IS THE KICKER, FRANK! THAT DOESN’T EVEN MATTER BECAUSE IF SOMEONE SAYS THEY DON’T WANT YOU TOUCHING THEM THEN YOU DON’T FUCKING TOUCH THEM IT IS LITERALLY THAT SIMPLE.

And of course she’s retreating into her shell, you fucking asshole. The amount of trauma this woman has gone through with no fucking outlet to deal with it. Of course she’s fucking isolating herself. But instead of being concerned about her and trying to help her, you’re just like omfg but what about meeeee?! Why can’t you just be “normal” for meeee?!

“What is it that you want from me?” “I want to know when you’re going to come back from the fucking past.” Fuuuuuck you, Frank. Because you’re asking when she’s going to go back to being how she was before. Well newsflash, Frank. She’s not. You’re never going to get your pre-War relationship back where Claire was 19 and thought you were the swellest guy. Because that’s what you want here. Stop fucking deluding yourself Frank, there aren’t enough conditions in the world to bring that girl back. So now you have this woman. Who is tearing herself apart from the inside trying to fucking live up to her side of your bullshit bargain. And at every turn you’re like nope, not good enough.

FUCKING PREACH IT. CLAIRE. PREACH.

I fucking love that she throws the ashtray at him because he again reduces what she had with Jamie to fucking. He’s been doing it since last season. He just can’t get his shitty-ass head around the fact that Claire loves Jamie with everything she has. It’s a great parallel to when Claire loses it at Bree in ep. 213 when Bree also says that Claire was just fucking another guy because she was a bored housewife. I fucking love how protective she is of what she has with Jamie.

Seriously though, fuck you Frank. You’re asking her to be something she's not and then blaming her for not doing it well enough. Yes, she should have left you, but you’re also an asshole.

And yeah, Frank didn’t like hogtie her and force her to come to Boston. But Jamie sent her to Frank so she went, all shattered and hollow, to Frank. And Frank was like oh cool, I can get my wife back like nothing ever happened and so yeah, clearly staying together is a great idea. You know, on my terms. Which you’ll agree to because you’re all like shattered and hollow. But Claire, you’re now far enough removed that you SHOULD JUST FUCKING LEAVE BECAUSE THIS IS CLEARLY NOT WORKING AND JAMIE WOULDN’T WANT YOU TO BE THIS FUCKING UNHAPPY. AND GUESS WHAT HE IS ALSO NOT HERE ANYMORE SO YOU TRIED BUT IT’S NOT WORKING AND UGH JUST GET A FUCKING DIVORCE ALREADY.

Gah, we have two more episodes before my best friend in the world, Ms. Ice E. Road, shows up and rids me of my Frank-rage once and for all.

Please for the love of fuck make it once and for all because omfg it’s not Frank’s story and it’s never been Frank’s story so can Frank please just die and stay dead. KThxBai.

*sacrifices a goat that Tobias gets a kickass leading role in something that keeps him unavailable for the foreseeable future*

Why is Frank’s face just giant on the screen. Like why is it still there. It’s still there guys. I’m not even typing that fast and it’s still there. Make it go away.

Ok I’m calling bullshit here. There is no way in fuck that house doesn’t have a second bedroom. Like if you aren’t sleeping in Claire’s bed, go to the fucking guest room. You get no pity from me for all the noise that comes with sleeping on the couch.

Ok like we knew they were keeping in Frank’s request to the reverend to research Jamie because Roger and Bree find it in ep. 213 and that’s how they know he’s alive. But in all my feelings about ep. 213, I forgot that it meant that I still get to hate Frank for doing it. But luckily there’s a scene in this episode where he starts writing the original letter! So fuck you, Frank, for being so shitty to Claire about not talking about her time in the past, but you’ll write to your buddy to research it!

Although I definitely don’t like that it’s the reverend’s research that let’s them know Jamie survived. Because that means Frank is kind of responsible for it. But at least they nixed the stupid placing a fake headstone bullshit. Still no brownie points for you, Frank.

I’m glad that Frank finds out about the miscarriage but doesn’t get details about Faith. Like oh hey, here’s another detail about how my life with Jamie was real and loving and yeah, we lost a child together and it was traumatic af so just get that through your head. But also it’s such a personal thing between her and Jamie that I really don’t want Frank to get all the details.

“I’m sorry I didn't tell you about the miscarriage.” “None of that matters now.” Frank you could have picked literally any other set of words. Any other words to get your point across besides “it doesn't matter.” Because I know you're talking about Claire not telling you and not the miscarriage itself, but she's talking about her first daughter. Who matters a great deal.

I HATE THIS DOCTOR WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK ARE THEY ALLOWED TO DO THAT IS THAT EVEN LEGAL DO I NEED TO GO DOWN A RABBITHOLE AND FIND THIS OUT WHERE IS THE CALL THE MIDWIFE CREW WHEN YOU NEED THEM SORRY FOR JOKING WHEN WHAT THE DOCTOR DID TO CLAIRE IS 1000% UNACCEPTABLE.

Omfg I cannot even imagine waking up and not knowing where your baby is or if they’re alive or dead. I definitely can’t imagine going through that twice. Like omfg when you put it next to Faith, it’s just like *ugly cries*.

“I’ve been so horrible to you.” But have you, Claire? Because I’m pretty sure you’ve been doing the best you can. And Frank’s been making you feel like you’ve been horrible. Because he’s a shitty, shitty person. But seriously. You should have left him. But it’s kind of too late now because apparently you both seem to think Bree will somehow make everything better. Right. Definitely. That’s totally going to be what happens.

*only two more episodes of this, only two more episodes of this*

“Where’d she get the red hair?” Bless you, rando nurse. Blesss.

[willridgard]

Adnams - What a story!

Give the gift of the perfect present

Buying gifts for loved ones often comes with its challenges.

Christmas presents. Birthday presents. Valentine’s Day treats. Mother and Father’s Day gifts. It can be hard to decide what to buy. And stressful, laborious, and expensive.

I mean, we’ve all been there haven’t we? Wrong style. Wrong colour. Wrong size. No warranty. No refunds. And while vouchers can be seen as boring and too safe, we can easily insult and upset the ones we care about by not putting enough thought or effort in.

Good presents in my opinion are ones that are appreciated, ones that excite, and ones that offer things to look forward to.  

People like adventure, challenge, and experience… Step forward, the Adnams Brewery Tour!

If you have an interest in beer (who doesn’t?), I highly recommend booking up this gem of a gift. Which is exactly what I did for my old chap.

Maturing taste buds and award-winning beers

The change in my taste buds, from lager to ‘real ale’, has been duly noted by my dad – and in recent years, we have spent many an evening together sipping on Adnams’ award-winning beers. And while Broadside tops the tasting palette for him, it’s Ghost Ship for me – but there are plenty of other tasty beers that also tickle our fancy. Mosaic. Ease Up. Bitter. Lighthouse. Explorer. Blackshore Stout. Dry Hop. And even the more exotic choices in Earl Grey and Cucumelon Sour. We’ve sampled a fair few…  

At the end of the day, I suppose we are just a couple of ol’ Suffolk boys that love drinking quality beer now and again! And so, the Brewery Tour was the perfect, ultimate Christmas gift. ‘Sunday Funday in Southwold’ we called it. Caw’d a Hell buh, the missus came along as well: the more the merrier!

Our excellent tour guide, Rob Denny, was absolutely superb throughout. He made us feel very welcome from the start, answered all questions thrown at him, and also held a popular taster session that everyone enjoyed at the end!

Brewing liquor, tasty samples, and growing beer in coat pockets!

One of the first things Rob asked us was ‘Which four main ingredients make up beer?’ ‘Water,’ answered one enthusiastic tour goer. ‘Correct,’ Rob replied. ‘More commonly known as brewing liquor in the industry.’ I liked that reply. Can’t beat a good bit of brewing liquor! Yeast, malted barley, and hops are the other three answers as he talked us through the interesting brewing process (more on that later).

Good Tours include interaction – and samples. And we were lucky enough to experience both at Adnams. Adnams work closely with a number of local maltsters and we got the chance to taste some of the malt used to make some of our favourite beers. Handfuls of rye and pale ale malt were very tasty indeed – but just a word of warning, if you’re not a coffee drinker / fan, do not get overexcited (like I did) when you hear the word ‘chocolate’ being briefed! I slightly overpoured my take, much to the amusement of Poppy, and had to sneak several grains into my coat pocket! Sorry, Rob!

Ghost Ship: a spooky tale or two!

As we moved through the Tour, taking in the sights and smells of the Mash Tun, the Whirlpool and the Fermentation Vessels, we learned that Ghost Ship, Adnams’ best selling beer and biggest commercial winner, was originally only meant to be a three-month trial! Thankfully, this decision was reviewed after the ‘hauntingly good pale ale’ proved hugely popular after its release in Halloween 2010 – and it now proudly leads the line in a number of Adnams pubs up and down the country. Life without Ghost Ship would be simply unthinkable! Now just to get Spindrift and Early Grey back on keg…

Rob also gave us the chance to smell some of the hops, which add delicious, unique flavours and aromas to the beer during the brewing process. Intense citrus aromas wafted through the air as we put our noses to ‘Citra’ – one of the most sought after hops in the brewing industry. Rumour has it that Citra made its way over to the UK, from the US, via Adnams’ Ghost Ship – such is the extreme power of citrus given off! 

Citra is also used in Ghost Ship 0.5%. Zero to low percentage beers are proving mightily popular in an ever-growing market. In fact, Adnams recently had to double its production of the low alcohol Ghost Ship. And I must say I’m impressed – the same great taste is produced, but there’s the added bonus of waking up without the hangover the next day too...They offer the perfect solution to driving as well!  

The contrast and challenge of ABV

At the other end of the ABV scale is Broadside – Adnams’ dark ruby red beer which takes its name from the famous ‘Battle of Sole Bay’ sea battle in 1672. Boasting rich and malty fruitcake flavours, Broadside is brewed differently in cask (4.7%) from bottles (6.3%) because of two main reasons: price and ABV. Generally speaking, the higher the ABV, the more expensive the beer will be in the pub. Adnams have therefore adapted the recipe to make it more ‘sellable’ in pubs. It’s also very rare to see high percentage beers in pubs – as they must be consumed very carefully! Makes sense, right?

Adnams all over the world!

One thing I was surprised at was the size of the brewery. I thought it would have been bigger seeing as how rapidly the Adnams name and brand is growing locally, nationally and worldwide! Not only do they own 44 pubs, inns and hotels, they also work closely with 1,000 free trades pubs and bars in East Anglia and 4,000 pubs nationally. They also export to more than 22 countries around the world, with their beers available to try in Abu Dhabi, Argentina, Australia, Belgium, Brazil, Chile, China, Colombia, Denmark, Finland, France, Germany, Hong Kong, Italy, Japan, New Zealand, Northern Ireland, Norway, Russia, Singapore, Spain, Slovenia, South Korea, Switzerland, Sweden, and USA. Look out for them the next time you’re on your travels!

Being Southwold and proud: a sign of success

All things considered, Adnams are doing a sterling job. It’s been reported that their turnover is in excess of £80m a year and they produce more than 34 million pints of beer and 250,000 bottles of spirits per annum – an extraordinary number seeing as they only brew and distill during the week.

They are also extremely proud of their Southwold roots – and this video perfectly highlights what they are all about and what they are looking to achieve moving forward:

Southwold is a beautiful seaside town in the heart of Suffolk, blessed with a beautiful sandy beach and a promenade of colourful beach-huts. It’s a very attractive and desirable place to live - and brew beer! The first beer produced on site was apparently in 1345 – nearly 700 years ago! It was in 1872 that Adnams was founded. Brothers George and Ernest Adnams bought the brewery from Sole Bay and to this day, alongside the Loftus family, who joined the business in 1802, it remains an independent family business. Current chairman, Jonathan Adnams OBE, has had a massive impact in driving the company forward in terms of innovation and sustainability: two elements Adnams look set to focus on in the future. 

And while there’s no doubting that the Adnams story is a resounding success, things haven’t always been straightforward…

From cranky crocodiles to ‘the beast from the yeast’

Rumour has it that George was eaten by a crocodile in 1880 after moving to South Africa. 140 years on and we’re still waiting for a snappy beer to be released in his memory…

More recently, an overflow in the fermentation vessel meant that yeast escaped its home and started chasing employees down the stairs! How we giggled when Rob told us that story. But brewing is like a scientific experiment I suppose – and it was also fascinating to hear of brewers throwing in malted loafs of bread to the mix. Trying different things to produce more great beers.

It is also the second most easterly UK brewery. Lowestoft-based Green Jack hold that prestigious award – and I can confirm, from testing a few samples in The Engineers Arms, Leiston, that both Gone Fishing and Trawlerboys Best Bitter are two exceptional drops worth trying!

A rum owd dew!

The beer sampling after the Tour was a joy to behold. Rob was a fantastic host and there was a great variety of scrumptious beers to sample. Cask. Keg. Cans. Bottles.

Of course, there was still time to (literally) sprint to the shop before it closed. Which is also very impressive. Boasting an array of their beers, spirits, and wines – as well as other merchandise, Adnams now have 13 retail stores in the UK. These are mainly based in Suffolk coastal towns – and I couldn’t help but purchase an inviting six-pack of award-winning beers for a very reasonable £10. Heck! We even received a free bottle of our choice as part of the Tour as well. After trying it for the first time with Rob’s guidance, I opted for a Blackshore Stout to go alongside my six-pack!

There was even time to visit The Lord Nelson. Situated close to the seafront, ‘The Nelson’ is just one of several fantastic, bustling pubs serving Adnams’ award-winning beers, wines, and spirits. Happy days.  

All in all, we had a wonderful time, and in my opinion, the Tour is well worth the £20. Thank you Rob and thank you Adnams. Book it up. Now! By visiting: https://www.adnams.co.uk/experiences/1

What’s next for Adnams? Well, rumour has it that collaborative brews are in the pipeline, alongside celebrations to mark the 10-year anniversary of the Copper House Distillery, which has now won more than 100 awards. We might have to take up the offer of visiting again soon. Adnams. What a story.

[filthy-reckless-rp]

Congratulations Katherine! Your beautiful character Mia Salazar has been accepted. I honestly cannot wait to see this princess-turned-pauper in action (how much is a banana? Like $15?). I love how her soft and sensitive kindness contrasts with the fact she keeps everyone at a distance although I’m sure many will try to #breakdownthosewalls. With hugs. And puppies. Also, whenever we see ‘private’ Gossip Girl stirs maniacally in the background. Your para sample also had us on the edge of our seats!! Someone give this gal her own Grey’s Anatomy spin-off, I’m just sayin’. *How To Save A Life plays in the background* Okay...enough from me.

Please send your account in ASAP! Remember to open your ask and submit. We also have a Whatsapp group for members; if you would like to be added just let us know!

---Admin P

OOC:

Name: Katherine

Age: 21

Gender / Preferred pronouns: She/Her

Where are you from? / Timezone: UTC+08:00

How active are you? (please describe in words): I have one (1) maybe two free days a week and I will for sure dedicate at least a couple hours of those two days in flooding the dash

How did you found out about us?: A little bird (Maya. It was Maya) told me about this safe haven.

Mia Salazar • 22 years old • Advanced Emergency Medical Technician • FC: Shay Mitchell • OC • TAKEN

Biography:

“I am the one thing in life I can control, I am inimitable, I am an original.”

Filipinos are required two talents: singing and dancing. And those who do not have those talents become doctors. This was the course that Mia Salazar’s life was set on. And considering that her parents owned just about half of all the pharmacies in the Philippines, it was one that was not only expected but demanded. Which is why she did exactly that – she focused in high school, got the grades, and when the opportunity came she even volunteered as a junior EMT for medical experience during summer of junior year. Which is where our story, and Mia’s life, derails. See, she didn’t expect to love the field. But she did. She didn’t expect to get entangled in the thrill of being a first responder, of being the one person that had to essentially bring a person back from the brink before they even set foot in the hospital. But she did.

You can imagine her parents’ chagrin when she, their only child, announced that she wanted to attend Cuny Borough of Manhattan after graduation to pursue a career in being a paramedic. ‘A community college?!’ you could practically hear her mother screech from atop their Upper East Side penthouse. Needless to say, they were not happy. In fact, they flat out refused to pay the tuition (regardless of the fact it cost less than the things you could find in their bathroom cupboard) and told her that they would not offer any support until she got her act straight and decided to be ‘a real physician’. This did not deter Mia. In fact, it was practically the taste of freedom that she’d been yearning for handed to her on a silver platter.

Fast forward four years after high school graduation, and you’ll find that Mia’s come a long way from being another one of Constance Billard’s privileged princesses. With the first half having been spent accumulating training hours and barely-above-minimum wage funds at the back of an ambulance, she’s now in her second year of an Associate’s Applied Science degree. The experience, as well as the recent years of Broke Life independence, has put a bit of a stern edge on her otherwise ‘nice girl’ reputation. The fact that it was her own determination and grit that got her to this point – not her parents’ money or influence – has given her a confidence that she never thought she could have. What does it even matter that to this day she honestly doesn’t know how much a banana is supposed to cost? It’s as exciting as it is terrifying, but Mia’s instilled a sort of attitude in herself that says she’s not done discovering her potential quite yet. Does she have what it takes to keep going with her ambitions and dreams? Or will she end up crashing and burning, just like every cliche former trust fund baby that finds both their funds and rebellious streaks running dry?

You know you love me,

xoxo –Gossip Girl

Wanted Connections:

(I’m gonna put some wanted connections that you guys can jump on if you want :) (pls))

- a high school friend(s) that lost contact and they’re v v bitter about it??

- best friend(s) that unconditionally supported her and she them??

- college friend(s) trying to show her the ropes of life as A Normal Person Who Has To Work To Live

- previous patient

- roommate(s) that live in a cozy but also cramped apartment

Character’s Bday: 22 November

3 Virtues and 3 flaws, explaining each:

Virtues:

Heroic: The first time Mia saw a burning car, she had no idea that her first instinct would be to run towards it. But it was and it turns out it wasn’t just a one time thing. There’s never any conscious decision to put herself into a situation to help others – she just does it. It’s not just physical dangers either; whether it be a fire, someone being rude to a customer service worker, or a classmate forgetting a #2 pencil on exam day. If she can help, even in the tiniest way, she doesn’t hesitate.

Adaptive: Mia lives for life’s curveballs. Not only is she good at thinking on her feet, but she enjoys it as well. New settings don’t intimidate her, nor does meeting new people or trying new things. She’s a firm believer in trial and error and knows full well that complaining or feeling sorry for yourself never helped anyone accomplish anything.

Soft: Outside of the ambulance, the rigid persona (dubbed her ‘saving lives’ personality) is quickly shed to reveal the sensitive creature that Mia Salazar truly is. She listens to RainyMood around the apartment. She sold practically ¾ths of her wardrobe to pay for rent and textbooks, leaving her with only a closet-full of comfy sweaters and durable jeans. And cuddles? Forget about it – there is nobody else in the entire universe that loves comforting human (or fur baby) contact than Mia does. It’s therapeutic, really; if giving free smiles and warm hugs makes even one person she likes smile, then she will be the person to offer them.

Flaws:

Private: Being nice isn’t the same thing as being open, and Mia exemplifies that clearly. Because of the nature of her work, she’s left with basically no social life. But then again that’s also something she almost prefers. Small talk is an unusual skill that she’s actually mastered (because sometimes keeping a person talking is the only way to distract them from the fact that they’re bleeding out in the middle of Lexington Ave.), but when it comes to revealing anything personal she’s quick to deflect. It just seems like a waste of time and energy opening up to someone, if all it takes is a busy work schedule and a few disappointments to make them move on.  

Impulsive: In hindsight, it probably would have been wiser for her to actually have a plan before abruptly taking her parents’ ultimatum, packing everything she could into a large Mulberry suitcase, and running off into the night. But she didn’t, and this trait is one that she unfortunately did not manage to grow out of. Because of her upbringing, consequences were never actually something she’s ever had to think more than two seconds about. And because of the literal life-and-death nature of her job, trusting her instincts is something that she’s been accustomed to do. So if Mia thinks it’s going to turn out okay (whether it be sprinting into a burning car or splurging on a new dress) she’ll do the thing now and regret the repercussions later.  

Work-a-holic: Having become one of the people that actually had to work for a living just put gasoline into the inferno that was already Mia’s determination. But more than that, she genuinely loves her job. It’s the first real thing that she’s accomplished, that she’s pushed herself to be good at, and it’s good work (no matter what her parents think). So she drops everything for it. Anniversaries, dinner plans, a baby (once, when a friend asked her to hold it but then her phone beeped with a call from the hospital and she rushed to get away). Nothing is more important to her.

Para Sample (A couple of paragraphs, in third person, as the character you’re applying for):

“BPM dropping to 50.”

Mia had to stop herself from snapping back, because, yeah, she already knew that. Her eyes had been glued to the damn monitor as soon as they’d hooked it up to the patient. 20BPM and it’ll be too late, 20BPM and it’ll be too late – she chanted the words to herself again and again as she quickly and expertly maneuvered around the gurney to grab all the supplies she needed. E 80th St. sped past the windows and the first rule she ever learned in the ambulance came racing back to her.

No matter what, never yell for the driver to go faster. It never helped anyone, and those 0.5 seconds could’ve been spent doing something useful.

“Move,” she said, not unkindly but firmly, to the EMR next to her. She recognized the look on his face – the way he hovered too close to the patient, how his eyes seemed to be processing both too many things and nothing at all. Mia could sympathize, but didn’t. She already knew that he wasn’t going to be of any help and right now was not the time to deal with that. “I need you to get the atropine for me. Hey. Can you do that?”

It took a moment, but his gaze eventually ripped away from the patient and their quickly collapsing lungs to focus on her. Slowly, he nodded and finally got out of her way.

It didn’t look good, but then again nothing ever did in here. Mia’s jaw tightened as she watched the way the young man struggled to breathe, how only one part of his chest rose and the other was covered by a blotchy shade of deep blue. “Broken ribs,” she muttered to herself, reaching for a mask. Eyes flicking down, she noticed the nametag taped over his breast pocket. “Hey, Andre. It’s okay, it’s going to be okay. I need to put this on you, alright? We’ll get you breathing better, just stay with me.”

Andre’s eyes, half open but clearly dazed, barely seemed to register her presence. “O2, now.” she demanded, placing the mask over his mouth and nose.

They hit a speedbump, the one she knew was on right on 3rd Avenue, and Mia blew out a breath. “We’re almost there, sweetie. Hang on.”

But then a beep sounded, rapidly followed by more, and her heart sank as the monitor showed 30BPM. On the gurney, Andre’s body gave an abrupt hitch. “Atropine!” Mia yelled, scooting aside as the EMR sunk a needle into the IV lined into Andre’s arm.

“He’s not getting any oxygen,” he said, hands now shaking as they both watched helplessly as the convulsions got worse. He lunged forward, getting into position for CPR, but she intercepted him.

“His ribs are broken, you could puncture a lung,” she snapped.

“Then how is he going to breathe?!”

And this, this was the hardest part of the job. There was always somebody asking that question, and in all her five years of experience she never knew how to answer it. She didn’t know how to tell them that the hardest part wasn’t after her shift, when all she could think about was everything she could’ve done. It wasn’t even having to tell their family waiting at the hospital that they didn’t make it.

The hardest part had always been right before she lost a patient. In those minutes and seconds where she had to watch as all her options vanished in thin air. When they were still alive, but she knew that she couldn’t save them.

They got to Lenox Hill ten minutes later. Which was more than enough time for her to compose herself and give the awaiting medical staff a full report.

Because the second hardest part of the job was the one nobody ever wanted  to talk about. The part where, right after you lose a patient, you’re not allowed to lose yourself. You have to shake it off, brush it away, because it was only halfway into the day and they just got another call about a fire up in East 95th. And Mia, with her five years of experience, was only now getting good at that.

[c4ptur-3dd-blog]

For my first test print I was unsure what time would work best so used a broad interval of 3 seconds from 3 - 12. The resulting image was in my opinion quite beautiful, I love the stark contrast between different exposures but I still did want just one single exposure time. I found over 6 seconds to be too dark so did another test at 0.5 second intervals from 3 - 5.5 and decided I liked the tone and contrast best at 5 seconds.

I suppose I sort of cheated a bit with this image, by creating the ‘interesting shape’ myself, to make the photograph but even so it is one of my favourite images I’ve made. The soft, granular texture of the sand is not as plain as say, a sky, offering a less harsh background with a gentle gradient, contrasting with the stark, rigid shaped and almost block colour of the various shells. The connotations of this image a ones of tranquillity and order, there is nothing chaotic or out of place in the image which has a very calming effect of the mind. It also transports one back to childhood, collecting shells while playing at the beach, these sorts of happy memories also have a quieting effect on the mind. The soft, out of focus background also has connotations to memory, especially distant ones which are starting to fade.

It’s difficult to see clearly the sections of varying exposure in the test as the image has a lot of lines and variation in shadow itself but I knew I had used six different exposure times so was able to judge where the change in tone was. /for this I used 1 second intervals from 2 - 7, I prefered the contrast just right of the center a which would be 4 or 5 so I decided to split the difference and go with 4.5 seconds for my final image.

I would have prefered to have more contrast in this image to give more clarity to the edges of objects and really highlight the different layers of gates and fences. The image itself is very contrasting to my previous print, it has a very industrial look with all the meta fencing, concrete and chains. The connotation of this image is of confinement, restraint and being caged in, which I would relate to oppression. However with there being a lock in the image it also has opposing connotations, as a lock symbolises security and safety. The impression I get from this image is of ordered chaos, which makes the viewer feel almost anxious in their thoughts. I say this because there is so much going on in the image it makes it hard for your eye to focus on any specific area, instead just taking in the whole image as more of a pattern before picking out individual objects. However because most of the shapes are linear or uniformly repeated it stops the image from being overly strenuous on the eyes.

I made my first test sheet in 3 second intervals, from 3 - 12. I found most of these to be too dark so I made another test print at 0.5 to be more precise, going from 2 to 4.5 seconds and decided on 4.5 seconds for my final print.

It might sound strange that my favourite thing about this image is the large empty space, this is because it allows or rather forces you to focus on the subject of photograph. This is only possible because of the angle I used, for example if I had taken the picture looking forward towards the clock then the image would include the road, buildings and people all distracting from the main focus point. The second thing I would notice about this image it sharp, distinct contrast of the decoration around the clock which draws the eye around to the ornate detail at the top. The clock in this image brings to mind connotations of waiting, time passing and combined with the angle portrays for me the idea of something looming in the future, something dark and probably unwanted, as if the seconds are being counted just to draw it out longer. I say this because of the grey murky sky and victorian/gothic style building which gives a darker, more sinister edge to the image. Although because this is a photograph it could also be seen as time being frozen still and with it being a black and white film photo, lends itself well to this idea.

For my last print I was assuming it would take a similar time to the others, so I made a test print at 0.5 second intervals from 1.5 - 4 seconds and as you can see it barely showed up at all. This was because I had taken the image in quite low light on a cloudy day so the negative was quite dark, therefore needing a longer exposure. So on my next test a used 1 second intervals from 4 - 9 seconds which came out much better. But in the interest of making the subject (the building) look its best I made one final test just of the building in 7 8 and 9 second exposures. I was unsure between 7 and 8 so I went for 7.5 seconds for the final print.

The slight off centre composition of this image makes it look slightly awkward which I think fits quite well with the overall image. Given that the building is rather innocent and quaint looking with its pale palette and wooden roofing, then having this sign speaking of danger, seems rather out of place. Further adding to the off balance feeling of this image is the fact the one of the blocks is missing from the top of the tower. The more you look however the sign starts to make more sense as you notice the boarded windows, peeling paint and fencing. The connotations I get from this image are quite personal for me as I have lived 5 minutes from this pier for the past 10 years, and when I moved here you could still go on the boardwalk, although it was closed shortly after. Looking at this image makes me think of crumbling memories, abandonment and change. I see in this image the decay of hope, the hope that one day this important piece of history and source of happy memories for so many, would be restored but alas was just left to fall apart and is soon to be demolished. I find it to be rather fitting that when I went to photograph this for probably the last time is was a dim, cloudy day, appropriately symbolising my feelings towards this image.

[emily-charles]

The bridge stands here, too. Have you ever been to Shakedown street? It is a real place. There’s just this bridge in the middle of no where. Just kind of wanders off into no where, and comes out of no where. Looks really fucked up. Just kind of looms up in the shadows. A ghostly sight really. Just directly off somewhere and fog devours it and it’s tall and it’s probably only a passing by. More of a truck stop in the fabric of time, surely. The people on the train look funny to her. And she’s staring at the reflection of these people in the window. Carrie’s not forward enough to look around directly. She just lets her eyes move over them-watching the suddenly shiny, see-through people. She’d been wearing the same sweater for two days. Not really intentionally, the will to change had just kind of disappeared for a little while and she forgot to replace it. Her parents hadn't noticed. The clock on her cell phone seems to stay the same bloody minute as she continuously checks the time. It was permanently resting on 4:12 PM. There had just been a lethargic feeling around her as of late. But that was why she was heading to Shakedown Street. She needed a hit. Wasn’t that what she wanted now, was it not? She had made the trip, would make the trip again if she had to, but she knew-she knew she wouldn’t have to. The train is slowing. Because Shawn had promised to be there-yes he had. Shawn had once been a boyfriend from forever and a day ago. They had gotten close and had gotten unbelievably fucktardedly high together in what little time they had had together. She couldn't wait another second. And sure enough, the mechanical subway chimes give warning and Carrie instinctively jumps to her feet, and sits right back down again abruptly when she realizes that this is not her stop. She had miscounted the stops again. She recounts them to make sure. She returns her gaze to the reflections of the people leaving, more come on, and the chimes sound again. Her thoughts begin to fuzz out again, and the anxiety kicks it. Shakedown Street rears its head abruptly and the chimes come quickly after that. Carrie again jumps to her feet and exits the train. She moves through the station, with one thing on her mind and now she’s fidgeting as she walks. It is raining out. She continues down the street and turns right at the diner on the corner. If you knew where the house was, it was easy to find. She moves up the steps swiftly, and steps out of the rain. She is already partially soaked, but little can affect the elation she feels at finally arriving at Shawn’s house. She rings the buzzer and waits. The door opens and Carrie smiles. “Hello,” he says. He has answered the door in an old grayish-pink bathrobe, and a grey fedora. Carrie steps into a hug. Shawn frowns, “Not here.” He pulls Carrie inside and closes the door behind them both. Shawn is more paranoid than anyone she knew. “Come upstairs.” Shawn is renting this room in Toronto, on the second floor of a small community-living house. He motions for Carrie to follow him. She takes her shoes off at the door, and steps carefully over the wet spots where someone else had surely worn their shoes inside at one point. She follows him to the room directly at the top of the stairs-to the left. Shawn had come to the door in his socks, and his robe. He closes the door behind Carrie, and locks the deadbolt. “Are you ready?” Shawn giggles and tightens the robe for a moment. Carrie laughs and sits back languidly on the bed, crossing her legs. “Ready,” she responds and for a moment, she’s wondering if Shawn is naked under the long robe. Surely not... Shawn was naughty, but very, very shy. Flinging back the robe, Shawn is dressed to kill. He has a purple pleated school girl skirt on, and tights. A tight mesh shirt covers the upper half of his torso, and his small, small frame, looks like he would definitely shiver if he stayed in that outfit without the robe. He squeals and clutches the robe tightly closed as they both giggle together. “It’s fabulous, where did you get the skirt?” Carrie asks. “A second hand store,” he grins, and strokes the lapel of the bathrobe. “You look so sexy, baby,” Carrie smiles, and embraces him. His light blue eyes light up and his small mouth curves and he’s guffawing away as they sit down together on the edge of the bed. She embraces Shawn’s slight shoulders and after they lay together for a short while talking in hushed tones like school girls. Carrie sits up and reaches into her mini-backpack and pulls out a pharmacy bag. Reaching in, she pulls out a 0.5 syringe wrapped in plastic, and hands it to Shawn. Those blue eyes light up and Carrie can hear his breathing catch. “Let’s get high,” Carrie murmurs and the look that comes across Shawn's face is that of eagerness. He stares at Carrie almost in awe, and goes about prep. He pulls out a spoon, and a dark green BIC lighter. “I want you to do me,” Carrie says, glancing to the syringe and Shawn smiles happily. “I would be honoured,” he murmurs and reaches for Carrie’s hand. Shawn rolls the sleeve up and slaps the forearm and then ties the rubber tourniquet. “This’ll take me a minute...talk to me. It’s been so long since I’ve heard your voice.” Carrie sighs and relaxes, sitting cross-legged on the bed now, flexing her left hand over and over and over. Shawn is still smiling away as he just sits there and stares at her for a moment. Taking her in. She does the same, and as she does so, he takes off his grey fedora. She leans over and strokes her fingers over his freshly shaved head.    "Your beautiful long red hair is gone," she sighs with a smile. He blushes and looks to the ground. Those eyes look up at her, like a porno star would when giving a blowjob. The look fades and is replaced by humble modesty. Such like a flash. "D'you like it?" he asks. "I love it. It's so soft." 

He guffaws again, and blushes and picks up the spoon. It was the healthy silver of a never been burned spoon.

"Hang on." He opens the door and she pulls her sweater down over the tourniquet as she follows him down the hall to the house's community washroom. He runs the water in the sink until it's steaming up the washroom, and runs it under the water while he stares at her. She continues flexing her hand-opening and closing it into a fist. "Did you miss me?" she asks. He blushes again, and nods, "Yes," he pauses, eyes on the task at hand. "Did you miss me?" He turns off the sink with the sleeve of his bathrobe so as not to burn his hand, and shakes the spoon dry. "Yes." She holds her position at the door, longer than necessary, before turning around and heading back to the room. The next few minutes that follow are simply divine conversation, but if you'd asked Carrie now, she couldn't remember what made that conversation divine was. Divine though it was, it couldn't go by fast enough. Shawn takes his time. He makes sure she's comfortably sitting on the bed, and talks in lowered tones. Comforting words and smiling eyes. He really is a true artist though. She feels barely anything as the needle breaks the skin, and he's steady when he draws back the plunger to mix the blood and the heroin together. Nothing explains the next ten seconds. "You should've been a nurse, Mr. Bitter," she murmurs, her heart picking up right away. The affectionate nickname rolls off her tongue so easily. Motherfucker. It's so fast. The twist of your lungs as it feels like you've learned to breathe a different, clearer way. The urge to close your eyes to the sudden ecstasy-and it’s nothing like sex, it more clean cut than sex. Purer. The rush of your own blood pumping through your ears. The waiting. The two seconds of impatience. The paranoia. The smile as suddenly everything truly wrong with the world, just vanishes. The momentary confusion/acceptance as she actually feels herself falling back onto the bed and than BLAM. The world is brighter. The memories are all outlined in electric blue. That colour comes right before the sun comes up, and the whole world is electric blue. An impossible color. She can hear the voices of a thousand all talking at once, the thoughts and movements of every possible person on the planet. Like they were ants. Ants. When her eyes open, the last thing she can remember is her mother's voice. This vivid memory jolts her back to reality, and she wonders how long she's been here.

Was she late? She pushes up off the bed, away from the warmth of Shawn's arms, and sits up slowly. The whole world is swaying. Like she was on the subway again. She inhales slowly, and Shawn rests his hand on her wrist-not opening his eyes, or lifting his head. Small movements, nice and slow. It was dangerous to move around a lot right away. Less likely to throw up, if you just let yourself lay there. But she's on a time limit. She only had until six thirty and her mother was coming to pick her up at Finch station. She stands and goes to the mirror. It's not her. She's almost positive when she first looks at herself. She looks so drawn. Like a child on one of those commercials for kids from that company (you know, United something or other) would be advertising the rest of the world help. But she's just a junkie.

She nudges Shawn with gentle hands. He doesn't move. She sways back, sitting on the bed. She reaches into her jacket and pulls out a cigarette. She lights it very slowly with shaking hands. Wake up, man. She simply thinks the thought and His eyes open. She gives him a moment and then she hears his response, but isn't sure if he'd said it or thought it. Maybe she said it... "You okay?" "How long were we out?" she asks him in a soft voice, not answering his question. Still confused on whether or not he’d said anything. "Maybe an hour," he whispers back. "I have to go soon," she murmurs, and he responds with a shake of his head. He pats the bed beside him, and she lays back down beside him. It's okay, I've got enough time. She smiles slightly. He pulls the blanket up and over them, and entwines himself with her. She thinks of his purple pleated school girl's skirt, and smiles wider. She thinks about that purple skirt all the way to Finch station. Smiling a hazy happy smile, and watching people in the reflections proffered via the buses' windows. When she gets in the car at Finch, her mother, the wonderful Mrs. Merritt barely gives her a second glance. Carrie smiles to her-just once, and her mother smiles back and in that motherly curious way asks, "So how's Shawn?" The smile broadens greatly and she giggles despite herself, “He’s great, mom, he’s going to school here in Toronto.” The lie comes easily. She smells her mother’s perfume, and watches her with ease. The Toronto traffic keeps her mother’s focus off her and there’s no need to expand. She wishes now that she hadn’t lied-wishes she’d said anything else to her mother instead of that.