#i LOVED seeing space and catalogues all at once because i have a catalogue obsession it was great

[that-foul-legacy-lover]

Okay so this one is a bit into super-AU(/modern???) territory, but I was deep into a rabbit hole on space (I like black holes and pulsars a lot :D) when I had a great thought:

Us as an astronaut + space (entity??) Legacy

Admittedly I don't know much about astronauts beyond the training that they have to go through to be able to go to space, but I do think it'd be cool to just, like, see Legacy on the moon or something.

~ The anon who wanted Kaveh but didn't want Baizhu or Ganyu Ooooo what if the Abyss was, like, one of those theoretical other sides of a black hole? People like making theories about black holes, and I really like the ones about parallel universes and wormholes so- P.S. I might talk more about this concept/idea later to be honest, because I really Love Space :D

OHHHH I LIKE THIS ONE I LOVE FLUFFY COSMIC MOTH!!!

you didn't train with the intention of meeting an interstellar void being, you mostly wanted to explore new horizons, go places few have ever been before and see the infinite sky as a place rather than a backdrop of your world. to your delight, you received all that and more. far, FAR more than you were expecting. you catch your first glimpse out of the corner of your eye, just a subtle whisp of something like stardust. the clicks are next, faint, echoing croons and hums following you, and for a dreadful few minutes you think your suit must be malfunctioning somehow, a quick death sentence. but everything looks fine- perfect, actually- and you find the answer when you finally look up and behind you, a confused scrunch between your brows

what you can only describe as a galactical beast hovers before you, and your jaw drops. tall, floating off the ground, adorned in glittering lights and stars with ethereal wings and twin horns spiraling towards the heavens. it mimics you, tilting its head and letting out a soft cooing sound. that explains the noises you were hearing, at least. the creature reaches for you slowly, and its claws are as cold as ice even through the heavy material. but it seems to delight in mere touch, moving behind you, then to the side, the other one. at the end the peculiar, terrifying, beautiful monster bumps its head against your helmet, and you want nothing more than to sink into its cradling embrace and remain there forever. alas, you only have a fraction of eternity, but it's enough to receive gentle purrs and nuzzles and stray bits of stardust that feel like nothing and everything at once

for he calls himself Foul Legacy, and he wishes to visit you at nighttime

[freshdotdaily]

A lot of y'all know I been obsessed with Rammellzee for a hot second now. I don't have the crazy obsession y'all have w/ Basqiuat, or Andy Warhol. But of that downtown scene, I reaaaally loved Haring as a yute dem and I really fucked with A. Charles just off seeing their work publicly all around me.

But once I found Ramm, it was another revelation. A convergence of a lot of shit I like wrapped in one enigmatic weirdo artist's ideas to pick apart and break down. Bruh, this nigga straddles genius and mental illness in a wild way. There's a touch of Rammellzee in MF DOOM.

One of the reasons I liked the young rapper Wiki when I found him in 2012, (outside of this video) is because him/his crew "Ratking" refers to "Letter Racers". I instantly thought, "yo, this kid is tapped in!".

Also, I'm guilty for really obsessing over late 80's and 90's era NYC culture. Y'all wasn't outside, but there's just something super ill about that downtown time/space that incubated so much of our culture from my hometown. Alex Corporan (of Supreme's OG crew) summed it thusly: "The ‘90s in NYC lands as the last of the epic, raw, untouchable, unstoppable, fearless times for life. You're unable to replicate the experience of what was happening in New York during this time. Skateboarding, music, nightlife, art, fashion... you name it! 2000-2004 held onto that energy for a bit, but from 1990-1999 you grew up real fast and experienced shit in light speed."

Anyways, NY Times did a piece I wanna hit y'all with. I sprinkled in some video/links/pics for razzle-dazzle. Long live Rammellzee! In the late nineteen-seventies, the sociologist Nathan Glazer had grown weary of riding New York’s graffiti-covered subways. The names of young vandals, who identified themselves as “writers” rather than as artists, were everywhere—inside, outside, sometimes stretching across multiple train cars. Glazer didn’t know who these writers were, or whether their transgressive spirit ever manifested itself in violent crimes, but that didn’t matter. The daily confrontation with graffiti suggested a city under siege. “The signs of official failure are everywhere,” he wrote in an influential 1979 essay. Graffiti, with its casual anarchy and cryptic syntax, offered glimpses into a “world of uncontrollable predators.” In the nineties, Glazer’s essay would help inspire the concept of “broken windows” policing—a theory that preserving the appearance of calm, orderly neighborhoods can foster peace and civility.

Graffiti has always had this kind of metaphorical power. It is somehow more than art or destruction (even though it is both), and it prompts awe or dread, depending on your tolerance for disorder. For every Glazer, there were romantics like Norman Mailer, who had written the text for a book of photographs elevating graffiti to the status of “faith.” From his perspective, graffiti forced the upper crust to reckon with the names and the fugitive dreams of a forgotten underclass: “You hit your name and maybe something in the whole scheme of the system gives a death rattle.”

Few people understood and internalized this power as deeply as the artist, rapper, and theoretician Rammellzee (which he styled as The ramm:ell:zee). He believed that his time in the train yards and the tunnels of New York gave him a vision for how to destroy and rebuild our world. He was born in 1960 and grew up in Far Rockaway, Queens. His birth name is a closely guarded secret; he legally changed it to his artistic tag in 1979. (He also insisted that The ramm:ell:zee was an “equation,” not a name.) Little is known about his youth, aside from passing aspirations to study dentistry (he was good with his hands) and to be a model (in a 1980 catalogue, he is identified as Mcrammellzee).

Ramm—as he became known—believed that language enforced discipline, and that whoever controlled it could steer people’s thoughts and imaginations. His hope wasn’t to replace English; he wanted to annihilate it from the inside out. His generation grew up after urban flight had devastated New York’s finances and infrastructure. Ramm channelled the chaos into a spectacular personal mythology, drawn from philology, astrophysics, and medieval history. He was obsessed with a story of Gothic monks whose lettering grew so ornate that the bishops found it unreadable and banned the technique. The monks’ work wasn’t so different from the increasingly abstract styles of graffiti writing, which turned a name into something mysterious and unrecognizable. Ramm developed a philosophy, Gothic Futurism, and an artistic approach that he called Ikonoklast Panzerism: “Ikonoklast” because he was a “symbol destroyer,” abolishing age-old standards of language and meaning; “Panzer” because this symbolic warfare involved arming all the letters of the alphabet, so that they might liberate themselves. He lived these ideas through his art and his music, and by being part of the hip-hop scene during its infancy.

In 1983, Rammellzee and a rapper named K-Rob went to visit the painter Jean-Michel Basquiat. Though Ramm and Basquiat were friends, they were also rivals. Ramm would later say that Basquiat wasn’t a “dream artist”—he didn’t so much radiate visions outward as take things in like a “sponge,” learning about genius from books. He and Ramm once bet on who could most convincingly parody the other’s work. (Ramm claimed not only that he won but that Basquiat’s art dealer, who wasn’t in on their ruse, told Basquiat that “his” work was the best he had ever done.)

That night, Basquiat invited Ramm and K-Rob to record a song he’d written. Ramm, who had rapped in the movie “Wild Style,” was already known for his unique nasal sneer. (He called it his “gangster duck” style.) The two men looked at Basquiat’s elementary rhymes, laughed, and tossed them in the trash. Instead, they made up their own lyrics—a brilliant, surreal tale of a kid (the earnest, bemused K-Rob) who’s on his way home and a hectoring pimp (Ramm) who tries to tempt him toward the dark side. Basquiat called the song “Beat Bop,” and paid for it to be produced; he painted the vinyl single’s cover art himself. The song was murky and strange, like a spiky funk jam slowed to a sinister crawl. In the background, someone tunes a violin. There’s so much echo and reverb on the track that it sounds like an attempt at time travel.

In the eighties, graffiti gained acceptance in the art world. Despite Ramm’s charisma, the intensity of his work and his stubborn, erratic personality kept him on the movement’s fringes. Where Basquiat and Keith Haring seemed shy showmen, Ramm came across as a nutty professor. His early paintings took inspiration from the psychedelia of comic books and science fantasy, with mazy train tracks running across cosmic reliefs. His palette was attuned to the era’s anxieties about nuclear war and nuclear waste. The colors were bright and garish, suggesting a box of neon highlighters run amok.

Rammellzee created and wore full-body suits of armor that he called “Garbage Gods.”

Photograph by Mari Horiuchi / courtesy Red Bull Arts New York and the Rammellzee Estate

In the mid-eighties, he began rendering these ideas in 3-D. He made sculptures that evoked the fossilized remains of twentieth-century life: newspaper clippings, key rings, chain links, and other junk, floating in an epoxy ooze. The most remarkable works were his “Garbage Gods,” full-body suits of armor, some of which weighed more than a hundred pounds. They look like junk-yard Transformers doing samurai cosplay. His most famous character, the Gasholeer, was outfitted with a small flamethrower.

Ramm’s art, thought, and music are the subject of the exhibition “ramm∑llz∑∑: Racing for Thunder,” at Red Bull Arts New York.

Befitting the popular drink’s own sense of iconoclasm, “Racing” bathes in Ramm’s frenzied, free-associative, and occasionally overwhelming energy. There are his early canvases and sculptures, along with flyers, business cards, manifestos, and patent applications. A small theatre screens previously unseen videos of Ramm rapping at nightclubs. The most impressive part of the survey is a floor devoted to his “Garbage Gods” and “Letter Racers”—skateboards representing each letter of the alphabet, armed with makeshift rockets, screwdrivers, and blades.

Throughout the exhibition, you can hear moments from Ramm’s lectures on Gothic Futurism—a thrilling jumble of street-corner hustling and technical language, all “parsecs,” “integers,” “aerodynamics.” As I was examining a collection of hand-painted watches, I kept hearing Ramm pause as he reached the end of a long disquisition on ecological catastrophe and graffiti-as-warfare, and then bark, “Next slide!”

In early May, the Red Bull Music Festival staged a Ramm-inspired concert to mark the opening of the art show. Ramm had continued to make music after “Beat Bop,” never wavering from his philosophies, just declaring them against increasingly turbulent, industrial-sounding backdrops. The eclecticism of the bill spoke to his wandering ear, and ranged from the terse hardcore of Show Me the Body to the wise-ass raps of Wiki. K-Rob, wearing a T-shirt featuring a mushroom and the words “I’m a Fun Guy,” reprised his verse from “Beat Bop,” grinning the whole way through. Gio Escobar, the leader of the deft punk-jazz band Standing on the Corner, dedicated a song to a late friend. The departed are everywhere around us, he said, as a groove emerged from the band’s dubbed-out chaos. “And they’re waiting.”

As hip-hop and art changed, as graffiti vanished from New York’s trains and walls, Ramm delved further into his own private cosmos—namely, the enormous loft in Tribeca where he lived, which he called the Battle Station. His obscurity wasn’t a choice. In the early eighties, he offered to send the U.S. military some of the intelligence he had gathered for national defense. (It declined.) In 1985, he wrote an opera, “The Requiem of Gothic Futurism.” In the nineties, he tried to promote his ideas by producing a comic book and a board game. He thought that toy manufacturers might want to mass-produce his “Garbage Gods” models.

He was the first artist to collaborate with the streetwear brand Supreme.

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There was a series of infomercial-like videos to seed interest in “Alpha’s Bet,” an epic movie that he hoped would finally resolve the narrative arc of his extended universe.

By the time Rammellzee died, in 2010, after a long illness, New York City had been completely remade by mayoral administrations that took broken-windows policing as gospel. The Battle Station became condos.

The Internet has made it easy to take what the culture provides you and rearrange it in some novel, cheeky way. It’s much more difficult to build an entirely new world—to abide by an ethical vision with a ferocity that requires you to break all the rules. I was surprised by how moved I felt standing underneath Ramm’s “Letter Racers” and studying the textures of the “Garbage Gods.” To see their meticulous handiwork up close was to believe that Ramm’s far-flung theories, his mashup of quantum physics and “slanguage,” made sense as an outsider’s survival strategy. I noticed all the discarded fragments of city life—bulbs and screws, a billiard ball, a doll’s head, old fan blades and turn-signal signs, visors stacked to look like pill bugs. His commitment was total. These are works of devotion.

This is where Ramm wanted to live—at the edge of comprehensibility, but in a way that invited others to wonder. Cities are filled with strangers who possess an unnerving energy, who hail us with stories, songs, and poems. Ramm was one of these. In an interview filmed in the aughts, Ramm sheds light on his everyday life. Sometimes, he says, he’ll be walking down the street or sitting at a bar, and people will just look at him. And sometimes they’ll come up to him and ask, “Who are you?” He’s explaining all this while wearing one of his “Garbage God” masks. You notice his paunch, the warm crackle of his voice at rest. “I’m just an average Joe,” he says, and he sounds like he believes it. 

♦Published in the print edition of the May 28, 2018, issue, with the headline “Graffiti Prophet.”

[thebigbidea]

Media I've obsessed over throughout the years!!

2010-2019: My Little Pony: FIM

Was definitely my favorite show. I still love that show sm. Definitely has the most active fan base of them all. Making art for this show definitely inspired me to be the artist i am now. -- This show rased me, and raised me good. The older fandom is questionable, there's definitely some generational trama given to us Gen Z by them, but it was a very pro-lgbt space, and i loved this so sm.

Favorite character then: Fluttershy / Now: Trixie

2017-2021: DuckTales!! (Woo-hoo)

Always kinned Louie, and always will. I mean hell, i named my first MLP OC after Lena!! -- I really loved the episodes Quack Pack and GlomTales! (the latter if wich being because is was A. it Louie centered episode, and B. he proved to his mother that his scamming isn't all bad which i was proud of him for). I think i loved him sm just bc, well one, my favorite color has always been green, but two he's so relatable. Like the episode where he wasn't so sure and up to the idea of Della suddenly coming back and being his mom when he'd never even spoke to her once was just so good. Now i can look back and see how it was relatable, but even then when i didn't know what ik now i found him to be the most logical person in that situation.

Favorite character then: Louie (maybe i liked Lena a lot too?) Now: Louie

2019-2023: The Owl House

When MLP ended, this was the show that came in and swooped me up. As of writing, the shows only been officially over for about an hour. And while yes, DuckTales was there when MLP ended, it still definitely made me feel like something was missing. It did take about a season for me to realize TOH was filling that feeling but it got there. This show has probably effected me about as much as MLP. Like through the episode “Lost in Language”, apon watching some reviews and theories on the episode, i found out Luz was bisexual. At the time i hadn't really heard the term b4, but only about a day of finding it out, i was already comfortable going by it! It just fit too well!! I also got my preferred name/s from Emira and Edric!! Sigh, i could write sm about TOH since it literally just ended, but i don't want to be here all day.

Favorite character then: Hunter, Now: The Collector. // Kinnie: Edric and Emira all the way, baby.

2023-???: Welcome Home! @:3

And now we're here. I already know this will be the thing i obsess over for the next 3-4 years, i can smell it. If things wrap up before 2026, i know the fandom will still be alive. Like idk maybe I'll laugh at my naivete in like two years rereading this post but come on!! Everything lines up way too well!! When MLP ended, TOH was there. Not TOH is ending and, oh, what's that?? WH!? I don't think its too unrealistic to think this story can take 3 test to make.. look say DHMIS, The Mandela Catalogue, and the Walten Files!!

...And well i mean if not, South Park has been going to 25 years and strong!! So I'll probably love that.

Favorite character: Julie!!!! (And Frank) // Don't make me pick favs from SP bro they're all so great. :')

Bonuses!!!

2021(-2023?): Loki

Bc of this show, i discovered i was gender fluid :]] I also found a wonderful community from it, and i love all of those people i met!!.. except for J***. You know who you are. Lmao, jokes. But yea, I'm no marvel fan or anything, but i love Greek/Norse mythology.. so it's no surprise i love Thor and Loki as much as i do!

Fav: Owen Wilson.

2021-2022: Inside Job (+ the 2000 other animated shows Netflix cancelled after one or two seasons..)

Yes there are shows that ended justly, like Kid Cosmic and CentaurWorld. They only planned on having two seasons so they ended great and with a banger. But like,, Dead End, and Glitch Techs, and give BNA another season, goddamn it!!

Fav: Brett 1000%

2020(-2023?) And 2021-2022: Animatics and The Cuphead Show respectively

I decided to add these two after ranting in the hashtags bc i just had to. :] Not much to say, i rlly love these shows. Made some art in my sketchbook and sh/t.

Fav: Wakko // Muggsie.

There's so many more shows (on tv, steaming, or online!) I'd live to acknowledge but I'm bored as hell do I'm calling it. Buhbies!!

[jules-tells-a-story]

i think the tv and film industry's obsession with making everything a huge, spectacular blockbuster with groundbreaking cgi and overly complicated stories, along with getting rid of anything that doesn't profit enough for them from their streaming services, has led to the death (or at least decline) of a beautiful phenomenon in movies and tv.

cult classics deserve to be appreciated. they deserve to get their place in the spotlight. some of my favorite pieces of media are ones that don't get a lot of media coverage or don't have big fandoms around them. with movies, there's "repo! the genetic opera," "little shop of horrors," and even with kids movies, there's "watership down" and "matilda," i loved those two as a kid. with tv, there's "doctor who," "buffy the vampire slayer," and once again, with kids oriented tv, you have "gargoyles." arguably, shows have an advantage since, if they get popular early on, they can continue making content, but with how picky people are with cgi nowadays, you wouldn't be able to make "smallville" in 2023 with the same budget it had in 2001 and have it fly, pun intended.

with books, you get lucky. you can't stream a book, you can't necessarily take back a text once it's out there (if history has proved anything), and people in the book scene love watching or reading reviews, hunting for the next underrated gem to gush about. there will always be people to love an unseen book despite (or because) of its flaws.

but that doesn't really fly in hollywood. nowadays, if something doesn't have the biggest budget or plans for a sequel, it's hardly noticed. the one big exception i've seen to this in the past few years is "skinamarink," but that may just be my bias since i linger in the horror community.

now, it seems like these sorts of low budget, big heart projects have moved to online spaces, especially in the horror scene. we have things like "the mandela catalogue," "daisy brown," "the walten files," "marble hornets," and "gemini home entertainment," things made by not that many people, maybe even just one person, but projects that get a ton of love all the same. hell, this community might even be seeing a breakthrough and helping these sorts of projects hit the mainstream with the upcoming "backrooms" movie. i really hope that this wave of smaller projects inspires more people to create what they love without fear of it being hollywood worthy, because let's be honest, lots of people aren't looking for hollywood worthy. people are looking for something that's heartfelt, something with spirit. people are looking for something that's good.

[honeycombstrawberry]

Please, can you write for me some headcanons about being weak for Adrian's kisses and he knowing that 😂🥰 (I would REALLY MELT 😍)

stoooooop this is so fucking cute i'm obsessed okay i have a couple of ideas that i wrote down on my phone at work here we go!!!!!

adrian knowing how weak you are for him kissing you headcanon thread!!

adrian is many things (many many things. and not all of them good) but one thing he most certainly is is observant. like DEEPLY observant. even if he needs to take time to understand what he's observing he notices EVERYTHING

that means he realizes fairly quickly how strongly you respond to kisses from him. and at first he thinks it's just because everything is new, because he feels overwhelmed every time he kisses you, too, but he starts realizing this is something different-- like, you are so fully gone over him, and there's just something about him kissing you that drives you bonkers, and he notices that

he also realizes that different kisses get different reactions so. maybe he does a little experiment. maybe he just wants to see what does what to you. even if he doesn't fully understand why

he starts simple with just proper kisses. soft kisses, chaste kisses, just close-mouthed presses of your lips together, and you dissolve every fucking time. he was honestly expecting his experiment to get more intense before you'd collapse like this, but it's only his first test and you respond like you're blossoming open every time he gives you even a passing peck

when he deepens your kisses, he notices you always fall right into him. if he wants to make you weak he'll part your lips with his and lick behind your teeth and feel you fall apart in his arms and he is absolutely obsessed with it

it's then that he wants to see if it's like. ANY kinds of kisses or just quote-unquote "real kisses." so he takes things up a notch and gets creative.

and THIS is when he starts kissing you everywhere he can reach, any time he's given an opportunity, and catalogues each and every one of your responses

he kisses your palm, the back of your hand, your fingers, the inside of your wrist; he glides up your forearm, finds your elbow, the warm skin further as he climbs to your shoulder, his lips pulling along with him, seeking blazing heat as badly as you are

he kisses your collarbones, and the space in the center of your chest, and the hollow beneath your throat, and the span of your neck, and your jaw, your cheeks, your chin, your ears-- he kisses you between the eyes, on the tip of your nose, on the temple, in your hair, along the crown of your head, at the back of your neck

he'd kiss down your back, find every stretch of muscle and knob of bone, kiss to your hips and the dip of your back and lower, he'd kiss anywhere you wanted, anywhere he wanted, just to see you respond by falling apart under his mouth

he loves to press his lips to your waist, down between your legs, to the soft skin inside your thighs, and further, down to your knees, the insides of the joints, along your calves and your shins, to the knobs of your ankles, the fine bones at the top of your feet, just-- every fucking inch of you, he cannot get enough

and no matter where he kisses you, or how, or why, you fall apart. each kiss gets a slightly different response, but they're all similar in one crucial way, and it's not until adrian realizes he's always responding in kind that he finally understands what it is you're both feeling, why you're responding like this:

you love each other.

he loves you, and you love him, and there's just something about kissing someone you love and being kissed by someone who loves you that makes you impossibly weak. and once adrian realizes that, he realizes he's weak, too, for every one of your kisses, and he's so impossibly grateful that you are for his, too

(that's not to say he won't use this to his nefarious advantage, though. because he WILL. he will try to distract you at the worst of times and he will kiss you to make you laugh when you're mad and he will show you off by kissing you in front of all your friends and he will do anything he can to kiss you and get you flustered in any silly way he can because, FUCK, you respond like this because you LOVE HIM, and he can't be reminded of that enough.)

thank you this made me incredibly soft at work!!!!!! i loved this so much thank you thank you!!!!!

-

adrian chase taglist:

@deputyrook @bb-skyrunner @himboelover @pieriinova @gcldtom @violetrainbow412-blog @amysuemc @saturnngal @neptuneswritingwork @jewishdelis @myguiltypleasures21 @pinkygunslingy @chaseadrian @breathing-in-waves @rishlurh @goblynnrockz @theowritesstuff @themartiansdaughter @dallasvakarian @missscarlettangel @samantha24015 @hillaryroadheadcllinton @ohmybubbletea @buckys-estrella @witchywcmans @ladyrebel25 @eviejune @vigilantesluvr @qjuiq-odakyu @xothatnerdykid @awkwardfangirl2014 @thevalkyrior @mattsmanpain @sunflowerfive @deirdre-belle @anthonyedwinstark @sexysquatch @jelliebeanss @zofps @crimscnrains @trans-librarian @nellethiel-aranel @probablyasatanworshipper @phoenixhalliwell @perseajohnson @eeveeangelcakes @freyafriggafrey @psychadelictoadie @middimidoris @gaygonegirl @herbsschmerbs @satansrighthandmanchild @seeking-a-great--perhaps @ev-june @bvcksmurdock

[wordsnstuff]

20 Mistakes To Avoid in Enemies To Lovers

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Weak Conflict

There should always be a strong, compelling source of tension between two people who are considered enemies. Even if their rivalry stems from external sources, such as bad blood between families or competing for a number one spot, there should always be a concrete reason why they hate each other.

Not Explaining Forgiveness

When one of these conflicts subsides, or a tense moment resolves, it should be justified. Tension and emotions shouldn’t disappear because you’re trying to stuff romantic moments in here and there. If one of your characters crosses a line and the other character chooses to forgive them, there needs to be a clear and understandable reason. It doesn’t always have to sit well with the reader. Your character can make a blatantly stupid decision, but it needs to serve the plot. 

No Tension To Be Found

If your characters have to verbally or physically assault each other to demonstrate the tension between them, you’re doing it wrong. If they have to kiss for the reader to see that they like each other, you’re doing it wrong. Tension is in the little things. It’s in the instances that most people would overlook, but your characters zero-in on because the subtext is too thick to gloss over. Tension is the most important plot device in enemies-to-lovers stories, so it requires a lot of time and attention to minute details. 

Conflict Solved Too Easily

If the rivalry between your characters is one misstep after another, with immediate forgiveness following, the tension won’t build correctly. You’re working your way up to a boiling over moment. A moment where everything comes out and then, once resolved, makes way for the romantic feelings to enter. If the conflicts don’t slowly build on each other, that boiling moment will come out of nowhere and be less satisfying to read. Don’t let your characters off that easily. Enemies aren’t constantly letting things slide. 

Characters Changing For One Another

People don’t need to be exactly the same to see attractive qualities in one another. It’s true that relationships shift your perspective and that it occasionally results in outward changes in behavior, but one or both characters shouldn’t mold their personality around their partner. 

Stupid Potion

If one of your characters has to become oblivious or avoid critical thought to maintain a relationship with that character, you haven’t made the two characters compatible enough. This is especially true when one or both of your character’s identity revolves around a higher intelligence. They should have enough in common that there doesn’t have to be a giant shift in one or both personalities to work as a couple. 

The Relationship Brings Them Down

The thing about enemies to lovers stories is that the happy endings are usually an indication of the author’s view of what is and is not forgivable in a potential partner. The acceptance of someone’s past mistakes, current flaws, and future struggles. When a love story ends with a couple that repeatedly lower each other or hurt each other, that sends a bad message, and that is your responsibility to avoid. It doesn’t need a happy ending, but it should never have a destructive one. 

Writing Abuse Instead of Rivalry

There is a big difference between writing two equals who have a rivalry slowly falling in love and putting aside their differences, and writing an abusive, predatory love interest who repeatedly hurts, manipulates, and gaslights the main character. Just because you can imagine the character forgiving them doesn’t mean they’re a good partner. Cheating, physical abuse, isolation, passive aggression, and manipulation are not character flaws. They’re not “mistakes” that the character needs to forgive in order to save their relationship. It’s abuse, and when you write a story between an abuser and a victim that has a happy ending, that has consequences. 

Revealing Feelings In A Cliché Way

This is very subjective, however, there are also a plethora of tropes to choose from and an infinite amount of alterations you can apply to make them your own. The objective, however, is to build up to it in a way that creates a satisfying payoff, and an interesting moment that serves all of the work you’ve done to build to it. There’s nothing worse than reading chapters and chapters of build up, anticipating a big moment where sparks fly, and then having all of that tension result in a sad sputter of mediocrity.

Instant Trust

Trust is difficult to build between two people, especially when they have a complicated past. Trust is earned, no matter who you are or what you’ve been through, it’s always a process. It’s never inherent. When two characters have a history of betrayal or hurt, trust is going to be even harder to develop between them, and that process is an opportunity for more tension, character development, conflict, and eventually a satisfying resolution. Trust development is a major plot device, and I recommend you take advantage of it. It’s also a huge opportunity for building romantic tension amongst the angst of trials and tribulations. 

Why Do They Hate Each Other, Though?

There’s a thin line between love and hate, and that line is infatuation; obsession. So, what put the two of them on the bad side of that line? This reason is the main conflict. The overarching plot begins with the point where that rivalry either begins or is challenged after a long while of stagnation, and it ends with the two characters crossing over that line into love. You need to make that beginning point very clear.

Rivalry Shouldn’t Just Dissolve

There needs to be a transitionary period that is tense and awkward with scattered moments that make the effort worth it to both of them. There should be a “Well, we hated each other last week and then they did some really sweet things and now I’m not so sure. Maybe we’re starting to become friends now? I feel really excited when I see them, so I must not hate them anymore, right?” period. 

Complete Opposites

Yes, opposites can attract. Yes, completely different people can fit together very well and have a happy relationship, but this is a cliché and is, in most cases, poorly thought out with little to no originality. 

Love With No Reason

Just like your characters need a reason to hate each other, they need a reason to love each other. There has to be something that makes them work. Not just a common hobby or characteristic or exterior aspect they share, but something that makes them fit together. If they love each other because... they can, your reader will feel like they’re watching two stupid, lonely people tolerate each other’s flaws in the interest of sex or companionship for 100 pages. 

No Actual Conflict Resolution

Relationships are built through conflict resolution. Communication, empathy, effort, and understanding between two people who work to make each other happy. Hollow forgiveness is not apart of that process, and if that’s all there is, you’re not developing a realistic relationship between compatible people, you’re depicting a toxic relationship that, in the case of these origins, can be abusive. 

Underusing Sexual Tension

Sexual tension is great. It’s easy to develop, it has a satisfying payoff, and it doesn’t take up a lot of space on the pages. It doesn’t have to result in x-rated material, especially if you’re writing for a young adult audience, but it’s simple and effective. 

No Awkward Transition Period

A large chunk of the plot should be awkward and uncomfortable to watch. The transition should be organic and make sense for your characters, but all organic movement contains struggle. Nobody goes from hating each other to loving each other overnight, and relationships are complicated and require hard work. Show this.

Catalogue Characters

There are enough stories out there with cardboard characters and self-insert protagonists, especially in romance. Make your protagonists unique and individual. Make your characters diverse and interesting to read about. Readers should have a bit of wiggle room for imagination, but that doesn’t mean they should be filling in the blanks like your characters are Mad Libs. Don’t close your eyes and point at character archetypes to form your cast. It’s obvious and lazy. 

Stagnant Tone

The tone of these stories often falls flat because in the interest of building tension, writers ignore purposeful tone shifting, scene-to-scene. Change it up, make it potent, and make a lasting impact during important moments. Suspense and anticipation shouldn’t just build during the climax and resolution. 

Bad Pacing

When your readers spend hours reading a story that promises a romantic payoff, they expect to see some of it. I think that a three act structure is really effective with this type of arc, with the first third being devoted to building rival tensions, the middle third being the shift from rivals to friends, and the last third building that romantic tension and ending with a happy resolution. 

–

Masterlist | WIP Blog

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[kbsd]

not sure if you’ve answered this before, but what’s your process look like when you make an amv? i’m just curious and in constant awe of ppl who can make videos like you do :)

hello all!!! i have answered this before and i have a vid help tag with other asks i’ve gotten about stuff like this! but i’ve gotten several more messages along these lines so i’m just going to answer a bunch of them together (under a cut since i love to ramble about editing lol). i do just wanna say i’m definitely not the authority on video editing and obv everyone has their own techniques!

edit: i just finished typing all this up and it’s SO long so sorry in advance LMAO god bless anyone who reads this entire thing

so i work in news tv and we have a very specific workflow for writing scripts, sourcing video, producing, and editing. i’ve just applied that to making amvs! for every video i make, i copy the song lyrics into a google doc and adjust them to match the song i’ve cut (i often will trim songs for time and/or content purposes). then i start planning! i’ll mark down what clip i want to use for each lyric next to that line, and any sound bites i want to use (with episode numbers!). i’ll color code between video and sound bites and lyrics, so my scripts end up looking something like this (for my honeybee amv):

doing the planning ahead of time makes everything much easier when it’s a video that spans the whole show or involves a lot of sourcing, like honeybee or sports analogies. that way when i get to the actual editing process, i already know what i’m going to do and have a game plan. for videos like happy ending or believe it or not, where i’m mainly just pulling from a few episodes, i can just plan it in my head as opposed to writing it all down, and produce as i edit. obviously i do make in-the-moment decisions while editing—sometimes a shot doesn’t work the way i thought it would, or i go where the video takes me—but planning ahead definitely helps. i know some people use spreadsheets as well, with columns for lyrics, video clips, and sound bites if applicable. once you find a system that works, it actually goes pretty quickly.

as for sourcing clips themselves/finding clips within episodes, i talked about that here and kind of here. the short version is that transcripts are a must, and the supernatural wiki is hugely helpful by cataloguing all the hugs, prayers, phone calls, etc. in the show. gifmakers that tag episode numbers on their posts are your friends. it gets easier the more video you make—that’s another huge reason i make the google docs for each video (even the ones i plan in my head, i end up going back and making a loose script with episode notes just for reference). if i can’t remember where something is but i know i used it in another video, i can easily reference past scripts!

i also cut all my videos in the same project in premiere pro, so i can flip between them easily. instead of checking a past script, i can just go to the video sequence itself and copy the clip i’m looking for! this was especially helpful when i match cut together the 5x18 and 4x22 wall slam shots for my bestie video, and then stole it from myself for honeybee hahaha. at any given time i have at least 8 sequences open:

because of the sheer volume of videos i make, it’s worth it for me to download the entire show—i have all 327 episodes in HD, plus deleted scenes. if you think you’re only going to make a few videos, i’d start with scene packs. you can usually just google “destiel [or whatever ship/character you’re looking for] scene packs” and there will be any number of ones you can download. if you need other specific scenes, you can always download/torrent individual episodes or screen record netflix (that’s what i did before i got HD download links). i’m happy to share my links if you DM, but be warned it’s a lot of disk space (about 500GB on my hard drive). someone also compiled every destiel scene, downloadable here.

having every episode already loaded in premiere for all my projects also makes it a lot easier to source clips. once i use a clip in a video, i’ll put a marker on the episode file, so that after a while i have most of the important scenes/lines marked to easily find them. to give you an idea, this is my episode file in premiere for 12x10 lily sunder has some regrets (markers at destiel scenes, the car fight, hot girl cas, etc.). markers are the green tabs along the bottom:

premiere also lets you color code and name markers, so ONE DAY i will go back and color code them all. the ones above are all the same color, but in a perfect world, i’d have a myraid—for destiel shots like hugs, touches, looks; for important pieces of dialogue; for action shots; etc. but for now this works ok for me, so that’s a project for another time!

between detailed scripts, one giant premiere project, markers, the wiki, and my own memory, i have so many points of reference that i can usually find any clip i need in about 2 minutes max. sound bites are often harder to start out, or tiny specific shots i haven’t used before, and that’s when i turn to tumblr gifsets or beloved mutuals to crowdsource. but if you’re as obsessive about marking/keeping neat scripts as i am, it gets easier and easier with every video you make. that’s part of why i’m able to cut videos together so quickly. (also i want to stress i do this for a living and have to produce/edit a new piece for my show every day so i’m used to it. and compared to constantly updating content/sources and news that changes every day, 327 highly documented episodes that never change are much easier to handle hahaha)

this is all great for me since i make so many videos and plan to continue doing so, but if you’re only making a few, this level of work isn’t worth it imo. really it’s all about developing a system that works for you. whatever you do with episodes/sourcing, though, i cannot recommend planning things out in a script ahead of time enough. 

everything i just mentioned is producing, though. for the editing process, i usually do it in this order:

music first. any parts i want to cut, i make sure it all sounds smooth

then soundbites. i usually try to weave them into the lyrics—i have characters talk in breaks between lines or instrumental sections as much as possible. i’ll sometimes go so far as looped/extending an intsrumental part to make room for the soundbite i want there lol. if i do have dialogue over a line, i do the sound mixing/levels at this point as well to make sure everything is audible/one doesn’t overpower the other. (also i always include the video that goes with these bites when i drop them in, and decide later if i want to show the character speaking or have other clips cover the dialogue)

once i have all the audio locked in, then i bring in all my other video clips. sometimes i edit completely chronologically, sometimes jumping from section to section—it depends on the song or how i’m feeling

double check sound mixing. i usually listen to my videos through a few times, with headphones and without to make sure it’ll sound good no matter how people watch it

once i have picture and audio lock, i go through and color correct my clips. i’m basic and just use lumetri color in premiere, and usually just play with brightness, saturation, temperature, and tint until i like it

render and export! :)

i always have several audio tracks, but i try to keep my video tracks condensed. i’ll drop clips on a V2 level, and edit a section there, and drop the whole chunk down to V1 so i know it’s finished. that way when i leave and come back i can know where i left off/what’s done/etc. to give you an idea, this is the timeline for my what the hell video:

i always render as H.264 with high bitrate, and make sure to check “render at maximum depth” and “use maximum render quality” for the best quality. i’m sorry, but i don’t know what the equivalent options are in final cut, imovie, kdenlive, etc. i post on youtube mostly so i don’t have to sacrifice quality, but usually just using a lower bitrate will get you under the tumblr file size limit and it’ll still look good.

as for the anon who asked about “polishing”: first of all, thank you!! second of all, it’s in the details. all of this is a matter of taste and my own insanity, but here are some little things i always try to do:

after i color correct, i blur out any credits from the starts of episodes. i use gaussian blur for this, but really any blur tool works

as much as possible, i avoid clips where we see a character’s mouth move but don’t hear the words. in tv/film we call it “lip flap” and i just think it looks messy. also i’m trained to avoid it at all costs at work hahaha. it’s more for serious videos that this matters a lot to me (e.g. i think i did a really good job eliminating lip flap in my happy ending amv)—for comedy videos i don’t sweat it as much

i put audio fades on the start and end of every single audio clip i use, even if i don’t think i need it, to make sure everything sounds smooth

i use markers for timing, especially in action-y videos like what the hell. i’ll put a marker on the clip i’m using at the exact moment a punch lands, and in the song on the beat. if i have the magnet/snap in timeline tool on i can just easily snap them together instead of having to spend time finagling it

this is such a small thing but i dip/cut to black for a tiny bit at the start and end of every video. this way if i post with tumblr video player, there’s black between the loops, and it gives you a beat before the video restarts. i do this even on videos i post on youtube, just because i think it looks nicer/more professional

this is 1,500 words so i’m going to stop myself before i pull something. if you have follow-up questions feel free to ask and i’ll continue to add them to the vid help tag, but any more questions about sourcing clips or my process in general i’ll just link this post going forward. anyone who made it this far, i am sending to a telepathic kiss. thank you for reading and happy editing!

[path-of-my-childhood]

Taylor Swift: Pop Star of the Year

By: Jonathan Dean for The Sunday Times Date: December 27th 2020

Rather than hunker down, the singer put out two albums in 2020 and won over new audiences. She’s the pop star of the year.

Taylor Swift met Paul McCartney in the autumn for a big interview in Rolling Stone. The two would have headlined Glastonbury this summer. Who knows if they will do that next year. Anyway, both recorded albums in lockdown, working from home like the rest of us. When they spoke, though, Swift had a secret. As well as Folklore, released in July, she had a follow-up record in the pipeline — Evermore, which was released this month.

Swift noted that the former Beatle was still so full of joy. “Well, we’re just so lucky, aren’t we?” he said. “We’re really lucky,” Swift replied. “I can’t believe it’s my job.” And she is right. Being a pop star is an extraordinary way to earn the living she does. But rather than accepting luxury and letting this tough year tumble on, Swift is also keenly aware what music means. Sad songs soothe, happy songs make us dance, but as fans of most artists waited for something — anything — this year, this 31-year-old released two albums that broke chart records, were critically adored and introduced her to people who once thought that she wasn’t for them.

“I’m so exhausted!” she said to the American chat show host Jimmy Kimmel, laughing, a few weeks ago, when asked if she had a third new album planned. “I have nothing left.” In addition to Folklore and Evermore, she filmed a TV special and even started rerecording her back catalogue, after a volatile dispute over who owns her work. By October I’d just about cobbled together my first sourdough loaf.

A decade ago Swift moved firmly into the limelight thanks to a squabble with Kanye West entirely of the rapper’s own making. In 2009, when Swift — then a nascent country music star — won the best female video award at the VMAs, West stormed on stage, grabbed her microphone and said that Beyoncé should have won. Swift was 19 — West was 32 — and she looked scared. This wasn’t just about her biggest moment yet being stolen, but also about her position in the pop hierarchy being questioned, very publicly, from the off. She stood there as that man bullied her. Apparently she left the stage in tears.

Years later West released Famous, with its infamous lyric “I feel like me and Taylor might still have sex/ Why? I made that bitch famous.” The alt-folk singer Father John Misty also wrote about sleeping with her. Every time that sort of thing happened, a powerful man in Swift’s industry was reducing a successful, talented, younger female to the level of a sex object. It was back-in-your-box belittling — as it was when a TV host groped her. (She successfully sued him.) While Swift herself would retort to West, as her music became less country, more slick pop, such retorts felt forced and gave the rapper too much of her oxygen. A nod to him on Folklore comes with the “Clowns to the West” line, but it is a sideshow now, not a headline.

Not that Swift’s life is entirely her own. She’s been one of the world’s bestselling female artists for a decade, coupled with curiosities such as a well-orchestrated relationship with Tom Hiddleston that kept her in the spotlight. Like many twentysomethings, Swift spent her youth apolitically, only to receive flak for staying silent during the 2016 US election. This year she endorsed Joe Biden, but what if she had wanted to stay quiet? Would the media have let her? She is under so much scrutiny that, after she made an innocuous hand gesture in a recent TV interview, similar to one women make to draw attention to domestic abuse, this headline ran: “Some people think Taylor Swift is secretly asking for help in her latest interview.”

Like many at the start of the pandemic she felt listless. The world we were used to was a wasteland, and we could only find the energy to watch Normal People. Swift’s ennui, though, was, well, swift. Stuck in LA, she emailed Aaron Dessner of the beloved beardy indie band the National to see if he fancied writing with her. No fool, Dessner said yes and, mere weeks later, the duo — with help from Swift’s regular collaborator Jack Antonoff as well as Justin Vernon, from the beloved beardy indie band Bon Iver — released Folklore. The gang just carried on working and, five months later, gave us Evermore.

Creativity is not on tap. Indeed, this year is not one for judging what others may or not have achieved. However, the silence of many big pop stars is striking because they know that even a single would make someone’s day; distract for a while.

Everyone needed to adjust to working from home, but Swift was one of the only musicians who did and, by eschewing the arena pop of recent albums for something more subdued, organic and folky, she gave the sense that she was letting fans in more than ever. She was at home, like us. This is who she is, and the first single from these sessions was so cosy, it was even called Cardigan.

“I just thought, ‘There are no rules any more,’” she told McCartney. “Because I used to put all these parameters on myself, like, ‘How will this song sound in a stadium?’ If you take away the parameters, what do you make? I guess Folklore.”

Maybe it is tedious, for a deft writer with a career of varied, brilliant songs — Love Story, I Knew You Were Trouble, Blank Space — to find respect from some people only when artists who appeal to middle-aged men start to work with her. On the other hand, pop has never been particularly welcoming to many until it sounds like something you are used to and, with delicate acoustics and gossamer-like piano, Swift’s two new albums recall, sonically, Nick Drake or Kate Bush. Thematically, lyrics seem to come from anywhere. Daphne du Maurier, for one. Even the Lake District and its poets.

Some songs are personal. She is dating British actor Joe Alwyn, and on one track she sings, “I want to give you a child.” Make of that what you will. But these records’ highlights are not about herself, but others. “There was a point,” she told Zane Lowe on Apple Music, “that I had got to as a writer, [where I was only writing] diaristic songs. That felt unsustainable.” Instead, she does what the best writers do and mixes subjective with objective. The Last American Dynasty is a terrific piece of writing about the socialite Rebekah Harkness, who lived in a Rhode Island house that Swift bought and was, by all accounts, a bit scandalous. Swift tells her story almost with envy. Imagine, she seems to say, that freedom.

“In my anxieties,” she said in Rolling Stone, “I can often control how I am as a person and how normal I act. But I cannot control if there are 20 photographers outside in the bushes and if they follow our car and interrupt our lives.”

Then there is Epiphany. The first verse is about her grandfather, who fought in the Second World War; the second about frontline workers in hospitals now. Sung in a high register, it is suitably choral. Marjorie, on Evermore, is even better. It is about her grandmother, an opera singer who died in 2003. “What died didn’t stay dead” is the repeated line, and it is eerie, gorgeous. Swift sings how she thinks Marjorie is singing to her, at which point some vocals from the latter’s recordings waft in. Touching, but the real power is in Swift writing about vague memories of a relative who died when she was young. “I complained the whole way there,” she sings. “I should’ve asked you questions.”

In person she is warm like this, and funny. When Kimmel told her there were far more swearwords on Folklore and Evermore than previous records, she replied: “It’s just been that kind of year.” She is also odder than people realise. In the way pop stars should be. Obsessed by numerology, she wrote, on the eve of her birthday when announcing Evermore: “Ever since I was 13, I’ve been excited about turning 31 because it’s my lucky number backwards.” When I turned 31 I just wished to be 13 again, with all that youth, but then, maybe, she is just joking. “Yes, so until I turn 113 or 131, this will be the highlight of my life,” she said. “The numerology thing? I sort of force it to happen.”

Swift, of course, is far from the first pop star to become public property, or have a close bond with fans. This year, however, she was one of the few to show that such adoration is not one-way. She is, simply, a fan of her fans — from planting secrets in her artwork and lyrics, to recording two albums of new music as a balm for them when real life became too deafening.

“One good thing about music,” sang Bob Marley. “When it hits you, you feel no pain.” The 80.6 million who streamed Folklore on its first day will attest to that idea. So will the four million who bought it. Swift is pop star of the year, no doubt — leaving her peers in her wake, on their sofas, rewatching The Sopranos.

[dustedmagazine]

Ian Mathers’ 2020: We’re stuck inside our own machines

I’ve had a song I loved in high school and haven’t thought much about since stuck in my head. The song “Apparitions” by the Matthew Good Band is a fine example of the alt rock of the late 90s; if you grew up then but somewhere down in the states (or elsewhere) instead of my southern Ontario you may well have your regional equivalents, and like this one they may not resonate terribly strongly outside of their time and place. It popped back into my head after a long time recently and of course 2020 has changed it a little. A song that as a teen I felt keenly as about loneliness (albeit also about how technology can feed into that) of course now plays on my nerves as another small piece of art about the way that most of us (those scared and/or responsible anyway) have only that relatively narrow, technologically mediated connection to the people we love. All of us, artists and listeners alike, are trying to fit our feelings and art and selves down these little connections, with some success.

On a personal level, 2020 wound up being stressful in ways we couldn’t have predicted even after the pandemic hit. In circumstances that could have seen governments on this continent support those unable to work (and those who shouldn’t have to), support those workers who are truly essential, support workers and renters and even landlords and small businesses, instead we got a near-total abeyance of those governments using the resources we provide them with to save any of us. On a personal level my wife and I were lucky enough to be able to work from home (not that it didn’t come with its own forms of stress, and now that I’m off until January I have several work/stress-related illnesses to recover from) but still saw friends and loved ones lose good, used-to-be-sustainable livings overnight, saw family businesses succumb to a near-total absence of effective government support after months of trying to keep above water, etc.

It is probably no surprise that this is not a situation conducive to listening to music, let alone writing about it; I have deliberately and happily kept busy on behind the scenes stuff at Dusted that I could still manage but looking, at the end of the year, at the amount I managed to actually create is demoralizing if not at all shocking. I’m not sure I think next year will be ‘better’ in many important ways, although at our job there is a growing feeling among coworkers that next year has to have some work/life balance because 2020 was, maybe more than anything else, unsustainable.

That’s not to say I didn’t spend a lot of time and emotion on music this year, and if nothing else constant sleep deprivation, stress, and panic meant I was probably open to being deeply moved by all sorts of art even more than normally (it’s gotten to the point where I can’t even read a sad or moving twitter thread out loud to my wife without getting teary, which is kind of… nice?). Funnily enough the band that did the most to keep me sane didn’t really put out anything in 2020. Personal favorite, Low, instead started, in early April, getting on Instagram with something they called on whim “It’s Friday I’m in Low.” With one brief break they have now done by my count at least 35 shows (catalogued here, by the way), every Friday at about 4 my time.

Admittedly it’s easier for Low to pull this off than some bands, since the 2/3 of the trio that sing are a married couple (they’ve had a couple of socially-distanced backyard shows with bassist Steve Garrington, but he’s mostly been isolating elsewhere). These shows have seen the band’s Alan Sparhawk take a mid-set break to do follow-up phone interviews with the acts featured in the COVID-curtailed touring bands series Vansplainingthat they started on YouTube, or just to give a tour round their vegetable garden and talk tips. It’s seen Alan and Mimi Parker draw on their impressive, 25+ year body of work (averaging 4-5 songs a set, I don’t think they’ve repeated themselves yet) and talk a bit between songs about pandemics, politics, song choices, and whether Alan should grab his bike helmet this time.

They’re not the only musicians out there speaking love and sanity (and playing music) into the strange digital interzone filled with hate and disinformation where we’ve all been forced to gather while locked down, but they were and the most consistent and steady signal being emitted each week. No matter how tired I was from work or what new symptoms I’d developed or what horrific thing I read into the news, even if I had to take an emergency nap while it was actually airing, every Friday the show was there. Once things do return to something more like normal, it’s one of the few things I’ll unambiguously miss about this weird-ass year.

So if that makes an argument for Low as my band of the year (admittedly again… it’s not like Double Negative has aged poorly, either), that does a disservice to those 2020 records I did connect with; even if there are still literally dozens I have to go through, many of which I expect to love, my top picks this year (if as unrankable by me as always) hit me as hard as any top pick in recent years did. So here I present a quick and informal top 5, which the rest of my top 20 following in alphabetical order. Here’s hoping for more time and space in 2021 for music, and even more than that, for more support for those who need it from those who could have been providing it all this time. (The Matthew Good Band, incidentally, always did best with their ballads. “Strange Days” is another I’ve had in my head these days; the image of moving “backwards, into a wall of fire” has stuck with me since the 90s and it’s never felt more grimly appropriate.)

Greet Death — New Hell

New Hell by Greet Death

This one is, in some sense, cheating; it came out November 2019. But that just means it’s the latest winner of my personal Torres Prize for Ian Being Late to the Party (so named because becoming slightly obsessed with Torres’ Sprinter just after I sent in my 2015 list was the first time I noticed that one of my favorite records of each year tends to get picked up by me just after I call it quits on the year, no matter how long I try to wait). This very doom and gloom slowcore/metal/(whatever, just know it’s heavy) trio at first felt very much like my beloved Cloakroom (whose Time Well has also won a Torres Prize) but sure enough nuances revealed themselves. Back in February it felt almost a little too negative, but then the rest of 2020 happened. And the extended burns of “You’re Gonna Hate What You’ve Done” and the title track remain searing.

Holy Fuck — Deleter

Probably the record I’ve been trying to write about the longest in 2020, and the one I’m most disappointed in myself that I just couldn’t get the requisite paragraphs together. It’s a wonderful effort from the consistently great Toronto resolutely human-created (and —mediated) dance music quartet, one that both feels like a summation of everything they do well, and with the addition of some outside voices (including strong turns from the singers of both Hot Chip and Liars) a step forward at the same time.

Spanish Love Songs — Brave Faces Everyone

Brave Faces Everyone by Spanish Love Songs

As the year got worse, this roar of defiance only got more crucial for me to hear every so often; I was a big enough fan of it, even after writing it up for Dusted, that when they solicited fan footage for a subsequent music video you may just be able to get a glimpse of me in it. (I’m the one in a “No Tories” t-shirt.) My punk rock-loving twin brother was the one who introduced me to Spanish Love Songs and we were supposed to spend an evening in June screaming along to them live in a packed, sweaty room. I need that in my life again.

Julianna Barwick — Healing Is a Miracle

Healing Is A Miracle by Julianna Barwick

It’s a sign of what 2020 has been like here that even just this album title leaves bruises, and while I privately worried Barwick would have a hard time following up 2016’s sublime Will (probably my favorite record that year), it seems that continuing to take whatever downtime she needs to keep focusing and refining her particular muse has once again yielded amazing results. Anyone who thinks they know what a Barwick track sounds like should really check out, say, “Flowers”, but much of this record absolutely sounds like Barwick, just even better than before. She also boasted my wife and I's favorite streaming concert of 2020, an absolutely gorgeous rendition of this album with Mary Lattimore showing up.

Phoebe Bridgers — Punisher

Punisher by Phoebe Bridgers

I joked on Twitter recently that I have far too nice a dad (and far too good a relationship with him) to be as obsessed as I am with Phoebe Bridgers’ “Kyoto”, but here we are. Like most of her generation, Bridgers’ social media presence ranges from shit-posting to inscrutable, but even though things are often just as hard to figure out in her beautiful songs (as they often are in life), there’s an emotional clarity to them that can just grab you deep down. Couple that with seriously impressive songcraft and the progress from her already astounding debut Stranger in the Alps and more than anyone else in 2020 I’m excited to see just where the hell Phoebe Bridgers is going to go, because it feels like she’s talented and hardworking enough to go just about anywhere and drag a lot of our hearts with her.

Other Favorites

Aidan Baker & Gareth Davis — Invisible Cities II

Anastasia Minster — Father

Deftones — Ohms

Hum — Inlet

Kelly Lee Owens — Inner Song

Mesarthim — The Degenerate Era

Perfume Genius — Set My Heart On Fire Immediately

Protomartyr — Ultimate Success Today

Rachel Kiel — Dream Logic

The Ridiculous Trio — The Ridiculous Trio Plays the Stooges

Sam Amidon — Sam Amidon

Shabason, Krgovich & Harris — Philadelphia

Stars Like Fleas — DWARS Session: Live on Radio VPRO

Well Yells — We Mirror the Dead

Yves Tumour — Heaven to a Tortured Mind

Five Reissues/Compilations/etc.

Aix Em Klemm — Aix Em Klemm

Bardo Pond — Adrop/Circuit VIII

Charles Curtis — Performances & Recordings 1998-2018

Coil — Musick to Play in the Dark

Hot Chip — LateNightTales

Ian Mathers

[williamsockner]

LGBT+ Identity in the Time of Mindless Self Indulgence

Mindless Self Indulgence isn’t an act that could have flourished at any other time. The emo/pop punk wave was gathering steam; hip hop was still a novelty one could distinguish themselves from the flock by cribbing. “Random” Invader Zim-style humor was in the decline, while “edgy” no-limits humor was skyrocketing. Nerds hadn’t become the dominant force they are today, but due to the internet and the rise in manga and anime sales in the United States, they were able to access nerdy content much more easily. Youtube was taking off, music piracy was booming, and reliance on both radio and local record-store gatekeepers was at a low for young music fans.

Perhaps most critically, our national understanding of politics and identity at the time, particularly LGBT+ identities, was in a different stage of development than it is today. “Punching up” vs. “punching down” was not a concept that most people considered in their comedy. “It’s just a joke” was more widely accepted as an excuse for transgressive entertainment than it is today. “I’m an equal opportunity hater” was a common refrain.

Early in their career, the band released multiple tracks where Jimmy Urine, a man who was certainly not black, used the n-word. The “Pantyshot” cassingle was a treasured possession among MSI fans, featuring an early song that supposedly lost them a record deal due to being about lusting over a 5 year-old. Little Jimmy Urine sold kisses for a dollar to fans after shows, including to the teenagers. As a whole, the band made punchlines of racial and sexual slurs, rape and child abuse, school shootings, prostitution, drug use, incest, and just about every other taboo under the sun.

The understanding was that none of it was real and that none of it had any real consequences. Calling someone a faggot didn’t matter if we were all in on the joke, that homophobia was stupid. Words were just words. The identity of the speaker didn’t matter so long as their ideology was clear. It was something of an inversion of the way we publicly navigate comedy now, in that their identity determines where on the ladder they are to punch up or down, and the contents of their ideology is of minimal consequence compared to the text of their words. The context of a joke is not a matter of what the audience believes, but of the many complexities of hierarchy that society as a whole believes.

“Who cares?” asks 2008. “It’s just words.”

“How could it not matter?” answers 2018. “Words create culture.”

So LGBT+ identity in the era of Mindless Self Indulgence.

Describing the difference between 2005 and 2018 to young queer people is a source of anxiety for me, because I feel like the old woman talking about how she walked uphill both ways to the library if she wanted to read a book. It’s difficult, however, to put in perspective how quickly the culture around LGBT+ identities has changed. As dangerous as it is for queer kids today, they have much freer access to information about their resources and history than we did, and far greater representation in all forms of media.

When I was a teenager, I was the first person openly LGBT at my school, and my only point of reference for LGBT identities were Rosie O’Donnell and Elton John. There was no “Born This Way” yet, no Halsey and Hayley Kiyoko and Ellen Page, no Troye Sivan and Adam Lambert and Frank Ocean, no Miley Cyrus, no Laverne Cox. There were no empowerment ballads.

Which was fine, because I didn’t want empowerment ballads anyway. I felt disgusting. In reckoning with my LGBT+ identity, I felt small, broken, repulsive, confused, discarded and doomed. I was sickened in my own skin and filled with self-loathing because of my sexual orientation. Sometimes I still am. When I was 15, I drew a map of my heart, and in between the “fields of sexual insecurity” and “possibly irreparable damage” I had written “guilt!” several times and underlined it.

“You’re beautiful” didn’t only feel false, it felt invalidating. I was fiercely defensive of my self-hatred. I was working so hard at it, spending so much time and energy convincing myself I deserved the beating I was giving myself. To this day the barriers I’ve put up against generic bromides persist, and songs like “Scars to Your Beautiful” or “Roar” make me cringe. Maybe someone gets something out of them, but I can only think of the teenagers like me who used that sort of sentiment as fuel for their own self-abuse. I remember once bursting into tears at a “Jesus Loves You” sticker because it served as proof that the whole world was playing a joke on me, telling me that someone so unlovable should have some hope.

It was impossible to internalize that queerness was not dirty, unnatural and loathsome. Any attempt to break that association was drown out by the rest of the messaging we were receiving and our own tried-and-true mental gymnastics. Reassurance could not reach us at the bottom of the well.

At the time, I was obsessed with Mindless Self Indulgence with the kind of all-consuming adoration that only teenagers can possess. I aped frontman Little Jimmy Urine’s fashion, writing slogans across my coats with white tape. “What Do They Know” and “Cocaine and Toupees” were my ringtones, much to my mother’s chagrin. I had catalogues of bootlegs, lovingly sorted and pressed to CD. Mindless Self Indulgence populated my artwork, both in classroom doodles and in art pieces for my portfolio that I labored on for weeks. They were the subject of my college application essay. I met my first love on an MSI forum (which I moderated) and lost a few romantic relationships over my inability to talk about anything else. I owned every shirt. When I was hired on at Barnes & Noble’s music section, I would nominate Frankenstein Girls Will Seem Strangely Sexy for the staff recommendation shelf every single week, and whenever it inevitably got recalled to the warehouse for lack of sales, I’d order it right back.

Sometimes my friends and I would go to the mall parking lot at night and blast Mindless Self Indulgence from my car, dancing around the empty lot with our striped stockings, fingerless gloves and Hot Topic trip pants.

This band kept me from killing myself.

“I’m filthy, disgusting, horrible, irredeemable,” we’d say. “People tell us we’re beautiful and we know they’re lying. I’m a freak.”

“Yeah, you’re fucking ugly,” the music said. “So what? So’s everything else. Have some fun with it.”

Despite the fact that Jimmy Urine has never publicly labeled himself with an LGBT identity, we young LGBT MSI fans claimed him as our own. We enshrined the article where he described being sexually attracted to anyone regardless of gender. We imitated and revered his gender fuckery onstage, the skirts, the pink suits and tutus, the eyeliner, his yelping falsetto leaping up from the masculine shouting, the way he danced. We pored over lyrics - that we transcribed ourselves in many cases, through multiple listens and endless debate - for those nuggets of same-sex attraction and gender ambiguity.

“I make a good girl but I make a terrible boy,” went one song. “These things in my pants that we’re all waiting for, I never really knew what that thing down there was used for,” went another. And the most sacred text of all was “Faggot”, off Frankenstein Girls Will Seem Strangely Sexy, the most beloved record of the vast majority of hardcore MSI fans.

“I played that shit straight / blowing suckas to the side hopin' I get laid / now everybody knows / no way in hell I can ever live it down”.

Shit was a revelation.

Kitty, the drummer of Mindless Self Indulgence, once said of the band’s LGBT fans that listening to MSI’s music was like vomiting: it hurts at the time, but then you feel better. You got it out. And the band always cultivated their relationship with their LGBT fans. Gay marriage was one of the few political issues they openly took a stance on, in a time when states like my own were amending constitutions to protect themselves from Massachusetts’ same-sex marriages.

Thus, we had a place where we felt simultaneously seen and valued by the band, and unseen amongst the chaos surrounding us. The irreverent humor of the band created a safe space where homosexuality could be disgusting, but so was everything else. There was no shame at an MSI concert. You were listening to a man famed for drinking his own urine sing about whipping his meat out, who cared if you liked to kiss girls? That’s old news. We’re all freaks down here at the bottom of the well.

I’m 28 now, and I don’t know if the kids these days have an equivalent band. I don’t know if there’s a market for it anymore; I’m sure there will always be queer kids who have internalized the awful message that they are inherently unlovable, but I’m not sure if they can’t find more accessible and more inherently positive panaceas. I see mutations of the same style of humor in Willam from RuPaul’s Drag Race and in some of the undercurrents of Tumblr’s teen humor. “We’re goblins, trash, garbage babies.”

“Yeah,” my inner child says. “I fucking feel that.”

The paradigm of humor has changed since 2008, at least in my circles, and the reasons for that are manifold, political, social, capitalistic. In many ways, it’s been a good thing: bigotry can be exposed rather than cloaked in excuses. A basic understanding of social inequality is presumed of most audiences. People are responsible for the impact of their words, not the intent. “Equal opportunity hater” is seem for what it is: intellectually lazy and blinkered, the refuge of white guys who don’t want to own up to the fact that some jokes aren’t funny.

But I’ll always have a place in my heart for comedy that meets people where they’re at. Where we’re at isn’t always beautiful or acceptable or healthy, but sometimes it’s the place where we need the laugh most.

[boymeetsweevil]

BTS as (weird) babies in your daycare

Kim Seokjin

The oldest of the bunch

brings two designer brand lunchboxes in to school

his lunches cost more than yours do

he eats all his food and then will go around the lunch table asking the others for small bites of their meal and they usually give in to him because he shouts “but we’re BROTHERS >:O” if they say no the first time around

the one that likes to take you by the hand while you’re in the middle of paperwork or something and bring you to see that castle he was working on

you compliment him on it and then you’re dismissed like:

“Wow jin that’s a great castle you did a great job stacking the blocks”

“Thank you teacher can you leave now?”

And you go back to your paperwork feeling kind of small before you remember that you are more than a decade older than the tiny child that sent you away

not the bossiest child (that’s jimin) but is a close second

is the most catalogue looking child you’ve ever seen

when you’re bored in the classroom during naptime and you play with your phone, he’s the one who only slept for 20 minutes

he then proceeds to come over and sit in your lap for a chance to play with your phone

You open up snapchat and play with the filters with him in the dimmed playroom and listen to his little chime-like giggles

his selfies are 80x cuter than yours before the filters and when the little dog ears come out to play you have no chance

Always brags about his older brother being able to use shoes “with no velcRO and long LONG lOng stringlaces” (=shoelaces)

hoseok always yells back that there’s no such thing as shoes without velcro “unless youre a growned-up and your hyung isn’t a growned-up i saw him at the park hes just a kid too!!”

Always brings in crafts that he made with his au pair for the class

currently has an obsession with hearts so he has been bringing in crudely cut heart shaped cut outs with scribbly stick figures on them

everyone got one, even you

he also made sure to draw himself into everyone’s heart as well

in the one he made for you its clear he drew himself first because he’s normal sized and you’re gigantic and bending horrifically around the edge of the heart because he didn’t plan the spacing well 

Also brings in the best group snacks when its a holiday or his birthday

cries when you tell him its not okay to sit on the other boys when they bother him

Always wants to be your helper and repeat what you just said to the class like he’s your assistant he is SUCH a teacher’s pet

“can i be teacher jinnie?”

“ummmmmm...not right now, maybe later okay?”

“oh...When im bigger???”

“uh Yes! when youre bigger”

“okay....Teacher im bigger now”

gives you wet cheek kisses :’)

He has the CUTEST laugh and when he laughs you laugh because its one of those rolling baby laughs that just doesn’t stop and you find yourself chasing him around the playroom to hear his giggle even though your feet hurt

drinks more milk than anyone in the class

as a result he has the NASTIEST farts

Min Yoongi

The one who has been coming the longest but still takes a good 45 minutes to stop sulking after being dropped off before he’s in the mood to play

will legit stand by the window to watch his mom drop him off every fucking morning like he doesn’t know where she’s going and if she’s coming back

when you come over to see if he’ll play with the other kids, he just turns and pouts at you and whines a little and turns back to the window

When he’s not in a funk though he is the most mature kiddo

Plays the best by himself, and is very simply entertained

brought in some homemade maracas for his show and tell day

it was literally just a recycled cardboard container with dried beans in it that he had scribbled all over with 40 different markers

keeps calling it “makaka”, you try not to laugh you fail

he just sat on the edge of the rug in the playroom and shook the box of beans softly to himself for an hour

when the shaking stopped you came over to see if he was alright and you realize he fell asleep

is surprisingly chatty

probably has the best vocabulary or is tied with joon

but also probably ahead of joon in terms of working vocab because while joon knows how to use “extraordinary” he also can’t grasp what the slide is called and yoongi has him beat there

ALWAYS FALLS ASLEEP first

sometimes will ask if he can start nap time early and drags the pillow and blanket the parents bring in from home up to your desk to make a more convincing argument

is always patient zero and gets fevers really easliy

when that happens you have to carry him around while you putter through the classroom and rub his back while he sleeps it off

you have to shush the other kids while he sleeps because theyre always so loud when they ask “Is Yoongi SICK???? :(”

he sleeps in your lap during nap time on those days and you stroke his fat fever-rosy cheeks when he whines in his sleep from the heat

cries whenever taehyung says his drawings are ugly

but they are, especially if he draws you 

theres always this weird expression on your face and sometimes you think about it when youre up late at night and then you cant sleep

is full of full facts about insects because his dad reads about them before bed

and is apparently always at the library

you saw him there once and he almost exploded because what are you doing outside the school

“teacher what are you going here”

“i came to get some books just like you”

“but i thought you couldn’t leave the school”

“i can leave the school...”

“wont you get a time out?”

“um no sweetie”

Yoongi has a huge sweet tooth and gets super excited on fridays when his mom packs him like chocolate milk or something 

can never open the little carton so he brings it to you and just vibrate next to you until you poke the straw in

pretty sure you saw his eyes roll into the back of his head once while drinking it

has fallen asleep with the carton in his hands on multiple occasions

HAS THE SWEETEST BABY LISP YOU’VE EVER HEARD

when you bring your guitar in for music days he sits at the front and listens SUPER intently and always tries to come over and touch it while you’re playing so have to be like

“yoongi, sweetie, please sit down”

“um okay. teacher ? im gonna play the giddar too okay?”

“while I’m playing it?”

“Yeah :)”

“no yoongi.”

“Okay...teacher?” REPEAT 1-6

Jung Hoseok

This kid is all over the place oh my god

srsly he is always tripping on shit because he is always running

and his jeans are a little too long because they're hand me downs from his sister and he refuses to let his dad put a belt on him in the morning

loves to hold hands but his hands are always so so so sticky

like wtf

he will want to hold your hand during walking field trips and you want to just yank your hand away and wipe it on your jeans and douse it in hot water but you don’t because he loves to hold hands and his hand is small and soft and warm and you don’t want to hurt his feelings :’(

you compromise by helping him when he’s at the sink and make sure he uses soap

probably the one who won’t stop putting his hands down his pullups

not in a weird way but in that way where kids will develop some weird habit/quirk that they do on autopilot for comfort

He probably tests your patience the most because is also: THE LOUDEST

he is that kid that screams bloody fucking murder when you turn the lights off for naptime,  every day :)

but not to be funny because he’s scared of the dark

he was originally placed somewhere else but he kept getting up in the middle of nap time to drag his blanket and pillow over to you to sleep nearby

when you asked him what he was doing he said that he sleeps near his big sister when he gets scared and you have to bite your knuckle not to cry when you realize he counts you too

Speaking of big sister, dawon goes to the day care for older kids on the floor above ur classroom

sometimes the teacher upstairs will let her come down to say hi

she stands by the doorway and watches him play with stuffed animals for a few minutes before going “hooooooobiiiiiiiiiii” and he drops everything to run over and she pets his hair and asks if he’s being good in that way where you can tell kids are parroting some random adult 

tbh this is your least favorite time of the day because he always wails because she can’t stay but he really misses his big sis and makes you tear up a little too

Sometimes another teacher will come in for “Body Time” and does yoga stretches with the kids

hobi is such a whiz at body time and always does the stretches with a surprising amount of control

its probably his second favorite thing next to running in literal circles in the tall grass during outside time in the spring

He’s a bit of a perfectionist because if you move his dominoes out of the little rows he made, even by just a fraction of a millimeter he. will. lose it.

Also won’t eat food that touches or crusts of bread or fruit skins

but he will eat orange slices without fail as long as you “make them into pieces first teacher :’(”

always gets stung by bees?????

because: yoongi likes bees a lot, he thinks theyre cute and interesting and he always takes hoseok by the hand to the nearest hive to tell him facts and point at things with a pudgy finger

but you’ve told the kids time and time again not to go near beehives but yoongi loves bees too much and hobi startles easily and either jostles the hive or pisses off a nearby bee

Kim Namjoon

Is the only one that can read

you were super shocked when you came over to him one day looking intensely at a book and he was confused and you were like

“what’s the matter, joonie”

“i can’t find the kittens in the picture”

“What kittens” and you read the little blurb on the page and see the word mittens and you’re like oh shit he can kinda read

so now you make sure he reads a different book from the bookshelf each day

jimin is always demanding to be read to and joon is happy to do it even when jimin switches pages on him in the middle of the book or asks to start over or start another book

Has those little baby glasses that tie behind his head so he can see

he always drops them though because he fiddles with the tie in the back and they get too loose throughout the day

He’s one of the more affectionate kids in class and will cling to your leg when he’s having a rough day

doesn’t want you to pick him up unless you’re sitting because he’s scared of heights

will sit on your lap any time its free though

often competes for lap space with kookie and often loses because kookie runs faster or joon will fall because this is joon we’re talking about

hes a good sport about it and stands next to you and asks kookie when his turn is next very sweetly

No surprise but namjoonie is always falling

but he never gets majorly hurt

maybe he scrapes a knee or a hand or something minor

he doesn’t cry much either hes a tough cookie!!

he’ll tell you a fact about prehistoric jellyfish with a wavering voice and watery eyes while you put his bandaid on

Baby Joon LOVES LVOES LVOES apple sauce

he cannot get enough of it and MANY of the stains on his little cords (his favorite clothing item) are apple sauce stains

Namjoon is sadly that kid that will eat anything though so you’re constantly watching him to make sure he doesn’t eat anything deadly

when he’s being too quiet or still in the corner of your vision you walk up quietly behind him and just stick a hand out and he spits whatever it is into the napkin in your palm with a goofy smile

eats his boogers probly :(

Joons mom always brings little treats for you because she was worreid that he would be bullied or isolated when she first enrolled him in the class but he’s doing well and she’s glad for the atmosphere you’ve set up

sometimes she sends him in with your treat if she’s too busy in the morning so he’ll totter in with his glasses and what looks like some homemade cake and your can’t help but scoop him up and plant a kiss on his cheek and tell him to tell his mom thank you

his best friend is probably jin because jin knows the alphabet and appreciates namjoon’s knowledge

jin helps joon get over his fear of the swings, but he’s still scared of heights i assure you he will start to wail if you take his feet too high off the ground

cries when he spills his apple sauce which is often but he always has a spare

 but! you’re not sure if his mom packs it because he loves it so much or because he’s bound to drop one

Park Jimin

When he first came in to school you gasped because those cheeks were a gift from above and the little always-there pout was so cute

he lives for praise, he is such a ham and he loves the way the old ladies at the front desk always try to bribe him with candy for a cheek pinch

he’s a shrewd little business man and won’t let anyone touch his cheeks for less than 2 soft caramels

Park Jimin is as bossy as they come

but everyone in the classroom has no problem with it except maybe you sometimes

he is always going “Teacher! Come here!” from somewhere in the room and you always have to go “You want to try that again, Park Jimin?” and he goes “Teacher! PWEASE come here!” and ur like...ok

Fairly independent

his dad assured you he knows how to cut with regular scissors but jimin continues to use the kiddie scissors and then act like he can’t do it and blink up at you for help

he just wants you to watch him do it

can also put on his own snowsuit without help but still wants you to do it for him because he LIVES for the personal attention

Is a tiny bit violent?

will yell really loud if you take his truck or his dino dolly

or if you make him try to take off his favorite faux cowhide sweater when its time to paint

never hits/kicks/bites tho

the one time it looked like he might hit jungkook you were there in an instant to pull him away and give him a calm and quiet but stern lecture about why his hands are not for hitting or hurting

he had frustrated tears welling up in his eyes when you brought him back to JK and had him use his words

“Kookie, I dont like when you take my toys when im still playin wif dem”

JK: *is preverbal*

and you pry the toy out of jungkook’s freakishly strong baby grip and return it to jk

Jimin’s best friend is probably tae

their moms are friends and they regularly have play dates at each other’s houses

sometimes they come in together in the mornings if one mom is busier than the other

they sleep next to each other during nap time

Chim cries when he can’t sit next to tae during snack time

Has a very adult palate for a baby

i.e. he loves vegetables

is kind of nosy and will come over to your desk when you open your lunch bag and ask to see the vegetables

you make sure to always pack a veggie because the one time you didn’t his eyes widened and he said “mama says you die if you dont eat no veg-ables”

asks if everything is a “veg-able”

jimin: *points to sandwich* veg-able?

you: no

jimin: *points to kimbap/turkey leg/piece of cake/bag of chips/an apple* veg-able?

you:....no

if you did bring a veggie that he doesn’t already have in his lunch, he’ll ask for a bite

normally you have to tell kids no when they ask for your food because you’d end up with everyone asking for a bite and no lunch, but no one else likes veggies in the class. 

so sometimes you slip a sliced cucumber to him and he holds it in two hands and runs back to his spot to eat it and then comes back like an outdoor cat looking for more food

Has a lovely singing voice

its high and pretty, kind of angelic and he tells you that he sings for his grandma a lot

you praise his singing so naturally he loves music day too and if you sing a song he sings with his mom at home he gets so excited

yoongi is enthralled when jimin knows the words to a “teacher song” before its been taught to the class

Kim Taehyung

idk why this is so pertinent to my idealization of him as a child BUT: Has the biggest head out of anyone in the classroom sorry

is so so so cute, might even be your favorite..

he’s super agreeable

loves to cuddle, eat all his food in his little stackable lunch containers, naps well, plays nicely with others, listens pretty well

BUT

he always pees himself :(

and you don’t understand it because his dad came in and bragged about how much of a big boi his son is at home in the bathroom using the toilet but at school? NOPE

he has like 8 changes on clothes for this reason

you can always tells when he’s about to pee himself because

he stands in the middle of the room and just goes “sorry teacher” really softly

your heart breaks when you hear how sad he is that he wet himself but you’re also a little irate because you’re convinced no one deals with as much pee as you do

you give him the talk every time which consists of your wriggling him into some ridiculous pink overalls while trying to make eye contact with him so you can tell him that when he feels like he has to go, he can just go to the potty

Tae carries a blanket around at all times!!!!!

he takes it everywhere with him and uses a different one to cover him up during nap time.

cries on the days that his dad drops him off without it because it has to be washed

the blanket was purple at one point but now it is straight up grey-brown

is surprisingly good at walking/running with it and not tripping on it

Jimin  started calling him tata

so now everyone calls him tata

Is probably the class sweetheart as well

when he’s out sick, literally everyone goes “where’s tata” at random times of the day even though you went over who was “at school” and who was “at home” and said he was at home

tae is so so so so good at drawing its crazy

hes way above his age grade in terms of drawing BUT he has a little trouble getting a pencil into his grip 

so you have to help him finagle it into his little hand but once he does WOOO here comes a dragon with you on its back holding a big ol sword

Is that one kid who manages to run around naked the most

its probably because you’re always in the middle of changing him when someone else distracts you and you turn around and all of the sudden he’s naked as the day he was born from the belly button and waddling back to where jimin is playing with flubber on the rug

you have to run over and scoop him up but also hold him at arms length because hello? pee?

he thinks this is hilarious and flaps his arms like hes flying

Everyone kisses tae

like when the kids get to that stage where they all try to kiss each other because their parents probably kiss them and they're like imitating their parents

everyone goes for tae

he takes it like a champ

but his face is probably v sticky after wards so you pull him over and take a wet wipe to his face

might ask you for a kiss and you place one on his LARGE forehead lol

His grandma comes in often with dolls she made for the class

tae shows them off proudly during his show and tell days and makes sure everyone plays nicely with them or theyll break because theyre normally made from soft yarn

He has a major thing for stickers and is always asking you for stickers to adorn his whole body with 

you are constantly telling him to take stickers off his face and sometimes he puts them on his eyebrow and you sigh because crying is inevitable at that point

you have limited him to 3 stickers on any given day and they go on a piece of paper labeled “Taehyung’s Tata’s stickers”

was mad when you tried to write his full name on the paper because he is tata at school >: (

Jeon Jungkook

the youngest! a true baby

when he first came to the classroom he was right in the middle in terms of age so like he technically aged out of the nursery down the hall but he wasn’t at the normal age minimum to enter your classroom and you were like Ummmmm i guess he can come? because you didn’t have very many kids so what’s one more right?

Started walking and running in the same day during his first week at the classroom!!!

you were worried he’d be too small to keep up with the other kids and might be hurt with their type of play but nope

he was constantly crawling after them trying to keep up until one day he just...stood up and you were like omg and pulled your phone up

when his parents came to pick him up you showed them the video and his dad cried

Now he’s the fastest runner in the class

he doesn’t really talk yet

hes still preverbal but you can tell he gets whats going on around him

the others are good about it

although you did have to have a day where you addressed the question they kept asking you

“Why doesn’t kookie have words?”

“he’s too little. but he’ll talk when he’s ready”

it was a short talk

He knows two words

no and something that is the approximation of hyung but you’re not certain

if he wants your specific attention he just goes “AH” really loud

says no to everything even when he means yes

this means that when you ask him if he wants to eat snack he says no and then cries when you put his lunchbox away thinking he may actually not be hungry

despite being the best at toddling, he always wants to picked up

he is such a teacher’s pet its crazy

its probably the one piece of evidence that he is the least mature of the group

and also because he misses the presence of his mom

he will settle for sitting in your lap when you’re at your desk

or when you’re trying to read to the group during “carpet reading time”

he will try to turn the pages for you but it took him a while to realize you weren’t always done reading when he turned a page and you’d have to fight him to turn the page back so you could finish

now he waits for you to say “you can turn the page now kook”

He is so so so shy omg

if a teacher from another classroom comes by to borrow something, they naturally try to come over and say hi to the one kid who you’re carrying on your hip or sitting in your lap and he just turns and smushes his face into your armpit until he suspects they’ve left

he does, however, have a weird obsession with the handyman that comes in to repair that one tricky light in the back of the art closet

kook will stare at him until he leaves and its cute because he’ll leave your lap or whine to be put down and toddle over to watch him work from a “reasonable distance”

the repairman is kind of gruff looking but he always turns and spots kook watching him like 8^O and will snort

one time he handed kook a rubber band that he had in his breast pocket and kook kept it clutched in his little hand all day

actually waves goodbye when he leaves its so precious

Kook is very sensitive to touch and stuff

so in the winter when he has to wear layers he cries a lot if the t-shirt under his sweater bunches up the wrong way

like he’s so finicky about tactile stuff

he can’t have bare feet ever

wears slippers all year, even in the summer

also cries if the classroom gets too loud and covers his ears

you think maybe he may have some sort of sensory sensitivity

won’t eat the bananas in his lunch unless you mash them with a fork for him

cried when you cut open a pumpkin to show the kids the seeds inside and later roast them because the smell was too strong for him

you had to put a tiny face mask on him to get him to calm down and he resembled a ninja turtle the whole day

He loves hobi very much and is always super giggly when hobi pays extra attention to him

always follows him around and is constantly bumping his nose on hobi’s back because he follows him THAT CLOSELY

always fights with jin

meaning he constantly swipes toys out of his hands and then sometimes gets sat on as punishment and cries until you heft jin off him

you don’t know why they always fight

is so good at hidden item picture books like Ispy

you will zoom through them because he finds everything immediately and you wonder if maybe hes a genius

you had a hunch one day and put him down in front of a 400 piece puzzle and he did a surprisingly good chunk of it in the span of the school day and went straight to it the next day

I was trying so hard to write this and couldnt think of anything and then i remembered yesterday that my friemd Worked in a daycare for the last three years??? so a lot of this is real life stuff which is funny but also really extra

all pics are from weheartit...

[nntodayblog]

A (Gross) Girl’s Guide To Personal Hygiene

Tallulah Pomeroy

400

I am a “gross girl,” and I’ve identified as such for as long as I can remember.

In part, I have my mother to thank. Although she dutifully applies a thick layer of lipstick before any and all activities, including bath time, she also adheres to the cardinal toilet flushing rule “If it’s yellow, let it mellow” and counts quickly flitting her wrist under a running faucet as washing her hands.

For my sisters and I, hygienic transgressions have always been badges of honor. When we were younger, we’d compete to see who could go the longest without showering, cackling together while we discussed which body parts itched the most. We built toilet paper castles in the mellow bowls our mother left behind, piling the paper like cotton clouds in the middle of a urine-filled moat.

As I got older, I remained gross.

During my freshman year of college, I wore the same leggings every day, deodorizing the crotch instead of washing them properly. My senior year, rather than walking all the way to the downstairs bathroom in my apartment, I took to peeing in a mason jar on my bedroom floor. When spillage occurred, I’d wipe it up with a rogue bit of laundry.

There are others like me, I know. I’ve seen evidence in listicles across the web. There’s BuzzFeed’s “49 Gross Things Most Girls Secretly Enjoy,” which includes “running your fingers through your pubes in a nonsexual way.” Bustle’s “19 Gross Things All Women Do in Private (Or At Least When We Think No One’s Watching)” exalts the fun of “examining your panty crust like you’re a scientist.” Cosmopolitan’s “13 Super-Gross Things Women Do That Men Don’t Know About” takes the cake with a description of cleaning yourself after a period-poop combo ― “the good ole PB&J wipe!”

The headlines make plain the fact that countless women indulge their grossest urges out of curiosity, laziness and pure fascination. Yet their bodily offenses, so counter to the image of a pristine and clean young lady reflected in etiquette books and American Girl Doll catalogues, are often kept secret ― or, at the very least, outside the purview of men.

Tallulah Pomeroy

Enter A Girl’s Guide to Personal Hygiene, a picture book illustrated by Bristol-based artist Tallulah Pomeroy that’s full of the kinds of gross girl confessions that trump even my and my sisters’ rituals.

Divided into chapters including "Picking & Squeezing," "Nooks & Crannies," "Periods," and "Tasty Snacks," Pomeroy’s book ― released on Feb. 13 by Soft Skull Press ― features anonymously submitted anecdotes detailing the nasty shit women do behind closed doors, from smelling their dirty underwear to free-bleeding in their pants.

The 112-page paperback is a celebration of everything feminine and dirty ― an homage to the women with a surplus of earwax, an abundance of gray pubes and far too many crimson-stained articles of clothing.

Pomeroy, the in-house illustrator at Catapult, started the project over two years ago. Inspiration struck after she overheard two women gossiping about a friend who’d drunkenly taken a shit in the sink. Utterly scandalized, they declared that anyone who could do such a thing was “not a girl.” This got Pomeroy, 25, thinking: Which of her own private habits would disqualify her from girlhood?

Around the same time, Pomeroy’s then-boyfriend lent her Charlotte Roche’s 2008 book Wetlands, which chronicles a sexually liberated and unabashedly grotesque 18-year-old’s hospital stint recovering from a botched ass shaving accident. No dirty details are spared as the protagonist, with time on her hands, takes stock of her sexual exploits and corporeal habits. “I love it when sperm dries on my skin, when it crusts and flakes off,” reads one relatively tame line.

Not enough for you? Here’s more (obviously NSFW):

When I jerk somebody off, I always make sure that some cum gets on my hand. I run my fingers through it and let it dry under my long nails. That way, later in the day, I can reminisce about my good fuck partner by biting my nails and getting bits of the hardened cum to play with in my mouth; I chew on it and, after tasting it and letting it slowly dissolve, I swallow it. It’s an intention I’m very proud of: the memorable sex bon-bon.

These are the sorts of passages that titillate a segment of readers and nauseate the rest. Pomeroy counts herself among the former group, enraptured by Roche’s ability to treat the body as both a site of sexual pleasure and grotesque glory. She endeavored to do the same with A Girl’s Guide to Personal Hygiene.

“She was so unashamed to the point of being proud,” Pomeroy said of the primary Wetlands character, Helen. “She loves that she’s gross. I think that’s what I identified with the most ― that I could feel positive about these things rather than ashamed of them.”

Tallulah Pomeroy

This combination of events ― reading Wetlands and overhearing the shit-in-the-sink story ― ultimately prompted Pomeroy to forge a space where women could share the nitty-gritty details of their nasty pastimes. In 2016 she created a private Facebook group cheekily titled “A Girl’s Guide to Personal Hygiene” and invited all her female friends to join. Before long, friends invited friends and the group went, as Pomeroy described, “mental.”

Right away, stories started rolling in, each woman playfully trying to out-gross the last. Pomeroy even created a submission form so some members could share their funkiest exploits anonymously if they so desired. The confessions achieved Roche-levels of nastiness. “I like to pick my nose while I masturbate. It helps,” one woman wrote. “I like to smell the contents of my Mooncup because someone once told me theirs smelled like beef,” wrote another.

Women even started using the Facebook group to seek advice about personal matters like IUD insertion and achieving multiple orgasms. It quickly became clear to Pomeroy that the space she carved out wasn’t just something women wanted ― it was something they needed.

From the beginning, Pomeroy said she had dreams of turning the confessions into a book ― an ironic etiquette guide that would “take the piss out of the idea that girls should be hygienic.” She had her doubts, though. Beyond a sense of gratification, the Facebook group had also awakened in Pomeroy a bubbling sense of humiliation she hadn��t even realized she possessed.

“A voice of shame,” she explained. “The voice you’ve heard since you were a child saying your body is dirty. Saying that women are clean and beautiful and don’t squeeze their spots.”

In an essay for The Atlantic, writer Leslie Jamison discussed a similar kind of humiliation that came with writing about matters of the flesh. “A certain shame,” she wrote, “like a faint body odor I couldn’t smell because it was mine: There was too much body, and this too-much-body risked banality and melodrama at once.”

Roche encountered it, too. Despite the fact that Wetlands became a cult obsession ― it was the best-selling book in the world in March of 2008, and was eventually translated from its native German into 27 languages ― some critics took issue with what they categorized as the novel’s cheap thrills, suggesting Roche’s work was not so much pioneering as “faux-outrageous.” In a 2009 review for The New York Times, Sallie Tisdale lambasted it, calling Roche’s descriptions “banal and repetitive,” her vocabulary “painfully limited.”

Of course, men have long been permitted to discuss their bathroom quirks and sexual secrets. “We’re very familiar with male toilet humor and the stereotype of a stinky man,” Pomeroy said. Yet when a woman wants to laugh about an ingrown hair or a particularly pungent flow she runs the risk of being perceived as “not funny, not moving, not provocative and certainly not titillating,” as The Guardian’s Nicola Barr wrote of Roche back in the day.

Pomeroy calls bullshit on this kind of literary criticism. “It’s much easier to call the book ‘clumsy’ and ‘banal’ than to call yourself a prude,” she said. She thinks Roche’s prose, written from the perspective of a teenager, feels exactly as it should ― intimate, unpretentious and imperfect.

“The language in Wetlands isn’t complicated,” she explained. “It isn’t trying to impress. The form of it is very frank and open and talkative. You feel like she’s right there with you.”

Tallulah Pomeroy

Pomeroy’s nagging voice of doubt didn’t linger for long. With the help of Soft Skull Press, she began compiling some of the standout anecdotes from Facebook into a book and illustrating them. Aside from some minor edits for typos, she preserved the original language of the Facebook group.

“These girls are often saying these things for the first time,” Pomeroy said. “They’ve thought about how they’re going to phrase it. I think it’s important to not make it sound more grand than it is. Let it be earthy.”

Deciding which anecdotes would make the cut was difficult. When it came to a story about a woman who, in advance of a threesome, whipped out her bloody tampon and stored it in a full teapot, which her boyfriend’s mother later discovered, editors assumed the anonymous story was fake. Pomeroy laughed; she actually knew all the people involved in the teapot debacle.

In the final book, juicy stories like this come to life thanks to Pomeroy’s illustrations, gangly line drawings splashed with watercolor that make a woman shitting herself look vaguely cool. Like the book’s language, its images do not attempt to sugarcoat their subject matter. Pomeroy draws clearly the most deliciously vile of moments ― poop emerging from a butt, discharge soaking panties, pus oozing from a zit.

“It’s kind of funny because it runs parallel with the book, me realizing actually I could be myself [in my drawings],” she said. “I didn’t have to clean things up. The drawings are very rough. They’re always the first drafts, that’s how I like it best. If I do multiple drafts, they lose that immediacy, and I wanted the drawings to have a real sense of freshness, in the same way the stories are honest and free. It was a real relief to realize my style is a good style, my own thing that I do is valuable, even if it’s rough and wonky.”

Because many of the book’s confessions were submitted anonymously, Pomeroy isn’t certain how many ― if any ― trans or gender-nonconforming women contributed. “My understanding of the term ‘girls’ refers to anyone who identifies as feminine, regardless of their gender,” she said. “Most of the stories relate to physically female bodies, but not all, there is still the underlying emphasis of pushing at the idea of femininity, which is relevant to trans and cis women alike.”

Pomeroy’s book has received praise from writers including Carmen Maria Machado (Her Body and Other Parties) and Alissa Nutting (Tampa, Made for Love), both of whom fearlessly write the feminine bodily experience into their work. The day it arrived in the HuffPost office, my coworkers and I swarmed around the pink paperback, pointing out which anecdotes we’ve participated in and which were completely baffling. Before long we were swapping our own stories of earwax and butt hair, tales unbeknownst to even our partners.

One of the main messages of the #MeToo movement currently sweeping our culture is that there is power in women’s stories. The subtext, however, is that to be taken seriously, these stories often revolve around personal experiences of trauma and pain, painstakingly rehashed to convince the public of a truth they should already have accepted.

“It’s really important to share these silly stories, too,” Pomeroy said. “They don’t diminish the power of the more serious ones. They still affirm that women’s bodies are our own.”

Perhaps the right to pop your own zits is not the ultimate feminist crusade of our time. But Pomeroy’s gross girl gang isn’t just stirring up shit for the fun of it. They are rebelling against long-held beliefs that women’s bodies are shameful, dirty and obscene ― at least without proper primping and powdering. They’re giving a glimpse into their hairiest, smelliest, stickiest parts in solidarity with women who just want to feel comfortable in their own skin.

“We’re not created for someone else’s pleasure,” Pomeroy said. “Our bodies aren’t for anybody else’s use. I’m not there to be groped and I’m also not there to be told that my body is disgusting or shameful. I think it’s all part of the same thing. If someone is horrified by the idea of girls picking their ingrown hairs then maybe they need to think about what they expect women to be. There might be a problem.”

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BEFORE YOU GO

PHOTO GALLERY

11 Period Illustrations That Are All Too Real

Priscilla Frank

Arts & Culture Reporter, HuffPost

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Reference source : A (Gross) Girl’s Guide To Personal Hygiene

[renwritesstuff]

bird's opening

A collaboration fic/art story with the lovely @fishbone76​

It started as just a friendly game of chess between the Normandy’s two resident geniuses. But then their significant others got involved and almost ruined it.

Also on AO3. Approximately 3,487 words.

Hand at her chin, Samantha Traynor studied the chess board in front of her. The glowing interface was looking a bit blurry around the edges, her mind swimming as she gave a few long blinks. Sam’s spot at the Skyllian Five table in the Port Observation Deck was surrounded by a collection of empty liquor bottles, her other hand gripping a half-consumed cocktail.

Her opponent purred from across the green-topped table. “Are you sweating, Specialist Traynor?” Tali'Zorah Vas Normandy drummed a pair of fingers impatiently.

“Not at all,” Sam retorted as she reached forward to nudge a pawn. “Just trying to decide if I want to win this in 10 moves… or 15 to give you a little boost of confidence.” Her smile was lazy and—admittedly—a bit drunk.

“Big talk,” the quarian slurred, her inflection a little lower than normal. “Considering you said this was ‘in the bag’ four moves ago. What does that even mean?”

Well, right now it actually means “drunk.”

“It’s just a silly idiom that—forget it. Your go, Admiral.”

There was a dull tapping sound on Sam’s right that she ignored with another sip of her drink.

Tali’s white eyes flicked over to the side before returning to the chess board. “Should we let them back in?”

“Absolutely not,” Samantha said with an emphatic shake of her head.

The quarian gave an apologetic shrug at the glass panels that made up the entrance to the small poker cubby of the recreation room.

A muffled “Oh come on!” could be heard from the other side of the glass.

Hovering there, faces pressed up against the locked doors, was Commander Jane Shepard and (General?) Garrus Vakarian. Also perched on Jane’s shoulder was her hamster, Lil’ Dude. All three looked positively pathetic standing around unable to enter.

Garrus scratched a digit against the glass again for another pleading tap. He lowered the rumble in his voice. “…come on… We’ll behave. It was just a little friendly wager between significant others.”

He nudged an elbow at Shepard, who nodded in agreement. “Sure. Yes. Friendly. We were just really excited over how friendly we all are.” She gritted her teeth in a grin. “…and how much you’re going to win, Sam!” Her palm slapped drunkenly on the wall in encouragement.

“Hey!” Garrus squawked back in outrage. A heated argument started (continued, rather) just on the other side of the glass.

“I was so close, Shepard! Then you had to open your big, fleshy mouth!”

No you weren’t even close, Garrus.

“You’re the one who got us kicked out in the first place! Because, and I quote, ‘Tali is gonna wipe the floor with that squishy Comms nerd.’”

“Well she is! All humans are squishy! …except you, of course.”

…I mean, he’s not wrong but it still hurts…

“Is not! Did you see Samantha at that Kepesh Yakshi tournament? No! You were dicking around in the arena. She was incredible!” Shepard gushed as she waved a threatening fist at Garrus.

Oh, thank you, darling. I knew I kept you around for a reason, Sam inwardly smirked as she sipped her drink.

The two chess players shot each other a withering look and rolled their eyes in sync.

…Earlier that same day…

Samantha had laid a kiss on Jane’s cheek as she finished zipping up her uniform. “Don’t wait up, Shepard.”

Shepard looked up from where she was playing with her hamster on her desk. “Unh? Where are you off to?” Lil’ Dude sniffed the air in Sam’s direction with a curious head-tilt.

“Oh, just a little chess game,” Sam said airily. She waved the holo disc in her hand for good measure.

“You’re cheating on me?” Jane asked, eyebrows arching and lips pursing in mock-offense.

Sighing, Sam dropped her shoulders. “There’s no tactful way to say this but: you’re rubbish at chess. A quick learner? Absolutely. But still rubbish.” Waving the holo disc again, Sam gave Shepard a reproachful stare. “I just wanted to have a few drinks and play a few rounds with an opponent who promised a challenge. Your pawns can resume toiling under my regime tomorrow, darling.”

The hamster in Shepard’s hands gave a few squeaks. Jane nodded. “I agree, buddy. That still counts as cheating. …Who is he? Or she? Or they?”

“She,” Samantha confirmed, “…is a fellow brilliant tactician in need of some girl talk. And to cut loose a little. She spends way too much time in the drive core.”

Donnelly and Daniels are starting to think she lives in there.

“Ohhhh,” Shepard intoned with a nod. “Tali. Well, don’t get hammered or anything. She’s gotta liaise with the quarian fleet in the morning. And she really can’t hold her liquor.” She kissed Sam’s cheek back and returned to her hamster, who had resumed stuffing his cheeks with food pellets.

“I promise I’ll return the Admiral to you in one piece,” Sam promised as she strolled out of the cabin.

I can’t promise the same for her ego. Because I am going to destroy—

—whoa whoa whoaaaa. Calm down, Traynor.

Inhaling a few breaths through her nose, Sam centered herself as she tapped the call button for the elevator. The familiar tingle of excitement ran down Sam’s spine: the thrill of competition. Of battle. Of potential victory.

She met Tali in the Port Observation Deck with a polite handshake. Sam took up behind the bar to make them some drinks, her mental catalogue of cocktails decently adaptable to dextro-compatible liquors.

Within a few minutes, she had assembled a dextro-equivalent drink to a Long Island Iced Tea for Tali and a Seaside Sunrise for herself.

“It feels like forever since I had a night off,” Tali remarked as she fumbled with inserting a straw through her mask port.

“I know the feeling,” Sam concurred. “Seems like it’ll just fall apart if you’re not there keeping an eye on things, hm?” She clinked her glass against Tali’s in polite toast.

“Oh Kee'lah, tell me about it. If it’s not the fleet, it’s all the fine-tuning the stealth drive needs to stay ahead of the Reaper suites. Or Garrus wanting…” Tali trailed off, her eyes dimming in what Samantha assumed was a blush.

“Oh, right,” Sam chimed in knowingly with a wicked smile. “You and Garrus. How is that going, by the way?”

A rumbling voice interrupted just behind them along with the sound of doors swishing open. “How's what going?” Garrus asked, his mandibles twitching in a grin. The turian was dressed casually for a change, a blue and gold-trimmed suit hugging the hard lines of his carapace.

“Nothing, you bosh'tet,” Tali quipped back amiably. “Don’t you have a big gun to calibrate?” She checked her Omni-tool before tilting her head sarcastically at Sam. “I mean, it’s probably been 30 seconds since it was last calibrated.”

Sam chuckled. “Possibly even 40. I don’t know what we’re going to do.”

Garrus scowled and crossed his arms. “You’re one to talk. You fuss over the drive core like you birthed it yourself.”

“We both have our favorite children,” Tali purred with a smirk. She clinked her glass against Sam’s once more.

The Comms Specialist breathed a mock-irritated sigh. “Please, please. You're both pretty.“ …Tali is prettier… “…By which I mean: pretty good at your jobs.”

Both aliens made scoffing-exhale noises at the same time.

Sam gestured over her shoulder to the empty room across from the Port Observation bar. A green-topped poker table took up most of the glass-enclosed space. She drummed her fingers on the chess holo disc in front of her at the counter. “Shall we, madam?”

“We shall!” Tali chirped back as she slid off the barstool and sauntered her way over to the table. She settled into one seat with Sam following close behind. Garrus remained at the bar, the lanky figure scratching a finger on his chin while he perused the collection of liquors.

The pair assembled at the table and logged in to the glowing interface, a familiar eight-by-eight grid populating with pieces.

“Do I need to give you a refresher on the rules?” Sam asked, her eyes twinkling in challenge.

“Please,” Tali said with an eye-roll. “This is a children’s game on the flotilla. Along with some number game that the volus play. I forget what it’s called.”

Hmph. “Children’s game.”

I will destroy you, Vas Normandy.

Studying the board layout, Sam sighed in pleasure at the cool familiarity of her favorite game. “What about Kepesh Yakshi?” She offered.

A sputtering noise through Tali’s straw followed a cynical squint of the woman’s eyes. “That holo game the asari are obsessed with? It must be nice to have so little to contribute to your people that you can play a game for a living.”

Nevermind. You have redeemed yourself. You’re all right, Tali'Zorah.

A deep laugh rumbled in Samantha’s belly as T'Suza’s defeated face flashed in her mind.

…T'Suza…

Sam nodded in agreement. “It’s an interesting game, I’ll give the asari that. But yes, some of us have little things like military service to do while saving the galaxy.”

“Hear hear,” Tali cheered with a slurp of her drink.

The game started off well enough. Tali was an aggressive opponent with surgical precision for picking off Sam’s pieces. It was exciting, actually. The quarian had a quick, adaptive mind and was keen on heading off some of Samantha’s best strategies while offering some interesting twists of her own.

Meanwhile, Garrus was rather useless milling around in the background. Apparently, he had taken the “you calibrate too much” jibe a little personally because the turian refused to leave the Port Observation Deck. He took up post at the bar for a little while, sampling liquors and making mixtures of his own until he found something he liked. Then he lounged at the low couch, absently thumbing through a datapad while throwing surreptitious glances over at Samantha and Tali while they played.

Eventually, the turian groaned in boredom and ambled up to look over their shoulders.

It was a tense final showdown. Tali had the better coverage but Sam had made an aggressive push into her territory with the white King on the run.

“Checkmate,” Sam announced with her last move. Ironically, a pair of black pawns managed to pin down the King in a corner.

The quarian swore a “bosh'tet” under her breath as she slapped a hand on the table. White eyes flicked up to Sam with a warm glow. She made a measuring motion with her thumb and forefinger. “I was this close. One more move and you would have been at my mercy.”

Chuckling, Sam attempted a sip of her drink but only ice rattled in the empty glass. “Oh I saw that. Well done, by the way. Really kept me on my toes. I took a huge gamble and lucked out, frankly.”

…I wish I was being kind. She very nearly kicked my arse.

“Did you lose?” Garrus rumbled next to Tali, his mandibles flaring.

The quarian’s head tilted in offense, her eyes narrowing to slits. “Yes! It happens!” She glanced over to Sam and jostled her own empty drink. “Shall we make this more interesting with the next game?”

Sam grinned back and stood up. “I like the way you think, Zorah.”

A game within a game was proposed. Mainly involving drinking (a lot of drinking). Garrus volunteered to bartend, though he gave his girlfriend a shoulder-rub along with a peptalk.

“We gotta show these levos who’s boss, Tali. The fate of turians and quarians everywhere hangs in the balance.”

“You mean, beyond the whole Reaper thing currently holding our fate in the balance?” The quarian’s voice trilled with dry sarcasm.

“Sure sure,” Garrus said with a dismissive hand-wave. “That’s really bad. But this! Tali! A chance to show the galaxy what we’re made of!” His grin was lazy under waggling eyebrow plates.

An explosive sigh before Tali’s voice vibrated with amusement. “I'm pretty sure we already did that. At the Citadel. Four years ago. And a year ago. At the Collector Base. And right now. …But sure, Garrus. This chess game will finally solve, once and for all, that dextros are the best.” She shot Sam a head-shake and a wink.

If I wasn’t already taken, I might be in love.

Sam took the time to direct message Jane regarding this development.

[ says: “I’m feeling left out. Tali has her own cheerleading squad while I just have a liquor cabinet. Care to join me and keep Garrus at bay, darling? Because apparently this is now the battle to end all battles between levo and dextro DNA species”]

There was no response. 45 seconds later, Commander Jane Shepard strolled through those swishing doors. She stood in the middle of the room, hands on her hips, hamster on her shoulder.

“Step off, Garrus. Samantha is gonna wipe the floor with Tali’s hood thing,” the woman announced as she made a finger-wiggling motion at Tali.

The turian barked with delight. “Sheparrrrrrd!”

Oh God. I’ve made a horrible mistake.

Trading shots for chess pieces wasn’t as great an idea as it seemed. Especially without any food in their bellies. Perhaps if it had been speed chess it wouldn’t have turned out so badly.

But it generally took Tali close to 30 seconds to “chug” her shot through her “emergency induction port.”

Still a straw, Tali.

Plus, Shepard and Garrus insisted on helping them select liquors for their shots in an effort to be supportive. A dangerous mixture of drinks were sloshing in their bellies ranging from bourbons to vodkas to an almost-ryncol that Garrus managed to stop before Sam puked her guts out.

“Are you trying to kill your girlfriend, Shepard?”

“What?! I would never!”

“Just because you can drink that krogan shit doesn’t mean anyone else can.”

Almost-poisoning aside, Sam was teetering dangerously in her seat and had to stave off a warm feeling in her belly with willpower alone. She made a terrible mistake about a third of the way into the match and struggled to correct it with pure aggression.

If I’m going down, I’m taking you with me.

The second game took close to an hour to resolve… and the winner ended up being Tali.

Fist-pumping the air, the quarian bounced out of her seat and did a flourishing dance to celebrate. “Yes! Evened the odds!” She stumbled slightly and made a drunken pointing motion at Sam. “I’m on to your tricks, Specialist. Clever round that time.”

The peanut gallery was also looking unsteady as well. Garrus and Shepard had taken to linking shoulders and whispering to each other about their girlfriends. They had become downright buddy-buddy… up until the game had ended.

“In your face, Shepard! Tali kicked Traynor's ass!”

“Lucky break! Sam won the first game!”

“Beginner’s luck! Tali just needed a chance to learn all her tells and then clean house!”

“That’s Skyllian Five, you jackass! There aren’t ‘tells’ in chess!”

The two actual players just exchanged sighs while their significant others bickered.

And bickered.

And bickered.

Finally, both women stood up and shouted in harmony. “Enough!”

Garrus and Jane shrank back. Even Lil’ Dude, who was just hanging out on the coffee table, flattened his ears and hid behind an empty glass.

Jabbing an accusing finger into Jane’s collarbone, Samantha growled at her girlfriend. “You’re both being ridiculous! This was supposed to be our evening to enjoy ourselves without the pressure of the galaxy on our shoulders! Any idea what that’s like, Shepard?!”

Tali headbutted Garrus’s chest with her hard mask before she shoved him backwards. “And you! Not everything needs to be some turian crest-measuring contest! If you want a fight, go wrestle with Shepard or Vega in the Shuttle Bay!”

It took some doing, but both women managed to hustle their crestfallen mates out of the poker table lounge area with a couple of well-placed pokes and shouts. Luckily, Garrus and Shepard were so stunned by the accusation that they were already outside the glass partition before they realized it had locked in front of them.

“EDI! Privacy lock! Maximum override!” Sam shouted at the ceiling.

[“I am pleased to assist.”]

Breathing heavily, both women exchanged looks with each other before they burst out laughing.

“Did you see Garrus’s face?”

Tali giggled and held her side. “Shepard looked like a kicked puppy, Traynor! How can you resist that sad face?” She cooed as she waved a finger at the glass.

“Oh believe me, she's well-versed in that.” Sam waved a dismissive hand. “The more she uses it, the less effective it is.”

Gesturing to the board, Samantha smiled warmly. “Shall we break this tie we’ve ended up in?”

“Absolutely,” Tali confirmed as she settled back into her seat.

“You’re the one who got us kicked out in the first place! Because, and I quote, 'Tali is gonna wipe the floor with that squishy Comms nerd.’”

“Well she is! All humans are squishy! …except you, of course.”

“Is not! Did you see Samantha at that Kepesh Yakshi tournament? No! You were dicking around in the arena. She was incredible!”

Rolling their eyes, Sam and Tali did their best to ignore the bickering outside the room.

“Thank you for agreeing to this match, Tali. In spite of…” Sam trailed off as she glanced over where Jane was shaking a fist at Garrus. “…in spite of our children fighting over us.”

Glowing eyes thinning to pleased slits, Tali nodded emphatically. “It was my pleasure! We should do this again sometime!” She shot a glance of her own at Garrus, who was pointing and growling at Lil’ Dude on Shepard’s shoulder. “…though, perhaps without our two biggest fans.”

“Hear hear,” Sam echoed as she clinked her glass against Tali’s on the table.

Exchanging a pair of moves, both women sighed contentedly in the peace and quiet.

Just outside, Jane and Garrus had reached a stalemate of glares.

Lil’ Dude was also in on the stare down, locking eyes with the turian with a scowling “Meep!”

“I hope you’re happy, Garrus,” Jane drawled out with a scowl. Though she looked over at Lil’ Dude and grumbled under her breath, “I can’t believe I’m locked out of my own ship.” Swiping over her Omni-tool, Shepard again tried her Commander credentials.

[“Access denied. Sod off, you pair of gits”] was the angry red message that appeared.

“Okay,” Garrus hummed back after running his hand over his crest in an agitated motion. “Let’s just relax and calm down… I’ll start… I’m sorry I called Traynor a 'helper monkey.’”

The Commander slapped at the turian’s shoulder. “Yea, what the hell, Garrus?”

“I'm sorry! Javik would say that and I thought it was a term of endearment! Like Vega calling Tali 'Sparks.’”

Sighing, Jane crossed her arms and mumbled an apology. “Okay, well, I’m sorry I said Tali couldn’t checkmate her way out of a paper bag. Tali is the best.”

The two begrudgingly shook hands before pressing back up against the glass.

“Can you tell what’s going on?” Garrus asked. “I’ll be honest: I don’t understand this game.”

“I’ve played it before and I don’t even understand what’s going on,” Jane admitted with a sigh.

“Keelah but you do have a talent for mixing drinks!” Tali exclaimed as she drained the last of her beverage through a straw. A rattling-sucking noise could be heard. “You missed your calling, Traynor.”

“Oh no,” Sam retorted with a headshake. “I already attempted this calling in university. I very much enjoyed the mixology part. Less so the 'customer service’ part.” She wrinkled her nose at the memory of too many rowdy drunks to count. “I created some excellent precision mixes back in the day, but so rarely did anyone want to recreate them down to the hundredth of a decimal place in fluid ounces.” Feigning a scowl, Sam tossed her hair theatrically. “Philistines.”

The quarian chuckled. “Don’t they understand that quality comes from calibrating exactly the right amoun—?” She froze and shook her head. “—Oh Keelah, I’m starting to sound like Garrus.” Her shoulders dropped fretfully.

Winking back, Sam nudged at the woman’s hand. “You are. But I promise I won’t tell anyone.”

Garrus’s muffled voice shouted through the glass. “What’s happening? Tali? Why are you looking so sad? Are you losing? Did you lose?”

Shepard pounded on the door with a slurred cheer. “Yea! Go Sam! Kick her ass! And not just because Garrus called you a 'helper monkey!’”

He said what?! He called me a what?!

That sonofabitch!

Eyes flicking back to Sam, Tali asked in a bored voice while feigning interest in the game. “Should we tell them it’s a draw?”

“Absolutely not,” Samantha replied. She guzzled down her drink before smacking her lips. “I’d rather enjoy the quiet for a few more minutes. Don’t you agree?”

“Hear hear, Traynor.”

[tillymint7]

Melissa Gordon 👏🏻💕 (I still have a few names to add to this post and images)

Melissa’s is an American painter currently working in Berlin. Her work is really interesting and thought provoking it concentrates on the idea of gesture and what a gesture is. Melissa explains that gestures is the thing that exists between the index and the icon, the moment of transition between the idea and the finished painting. 

Gesture is the back bone of Melissa’s practice. She talks about her work in such a poetic and articulate way. The icon also made me think of movie icons. In someways paintings become icon’s they almost have their own personality like film actors they become encapsulated and etched into history. Film is a running thread throughout Melissa’s work. Melissa talks about painting coming into existing it is almost a catalogue of its birth. 

Melissa talks about the gesture being the space between the poet and the actor. In which she explains that the poet creates, but often does not perform, whereas the actor performs, but does not create, meaning that the gesture is the bit that exists in the space between, which she describes as a look or the movement of a hand that allows the narrative to come alive.

Melissa uses a mixture of methods, mediums and disciplines her painting are creates using photography, silk screen print, painting, found objects, surfaces, architectural structures these structures then become part of the spaces that they inhabit, the structures themselves are almost sculptural.

Melissa paintings stretch beyond the canvas to installations. She talks about the structures dissecting the room, some parts seem to create a kind of negative or positive visualisation of a maze. An internal or external reflection. Almost existing and becoming part of the architectural space itself, bleeding from one to the other like the fluidity of the paint.

Melissa sees the paint as a metaphor for water and the water is a metaphor for women. She talks about how women throughout history are often described as leaky vessels or cracked pot unable to be contained often clogging up machinery and causing disruption. Melissa’s work is allowing the painting to break free from the canvas and the reach out into the atmosphere without the limits of their containers.

She talks about her earlier photography work existing on imaginary surface of glossy paint, which causes the images to seem disembodied or floating on the surface. They are disconnected, but still contained by the canvas, which in turn is contained by the architectural structures, which is contained within the room so really her current work is also about reaching out and expanding, but this also reminds me of my work bursts out into the space around me. Melissa talks about containers and layers, which is a very similar language that I apply to my own work. Layering ideas, collaging images and footage, multiple contexts, containers and meanings. It’s why Im drawn to a multidisciplinary practice.

Melissa talking about containers and water reminded me of a quote by Yoko Ono. I became obsessed with this quote last year. The quote ended up become part of my prints: ‘We are all water in different containers, so let's evaporate together.’ We are after all are one race the human race. We all consist of over 80% water we are all ruled by the moon. Weather we like it or not we are all one with the world around us. It always try to remember that the more detached we are from our environment the more broken we become. We are everything and everything is us and our reality is merely perception. 

Melissa prints are silk screen prints, which she calls Female Readymades. They consist of sections of work surfaces and found objects. The objects themselves are printed true to life. The prints depict cleaned surfaces, work spaces, floors and brush bristles. Melissa describes them as reminiscent of crime scene photography. They almost look like they are back lite like an X-ray or a film negative which once again ties in the subject of film and documentation. 

Melissa used fencing, warning tape, signs, clothing, chains, ropes, which to me all talk of boundaries limits and restrictions. Representative of women's constant struggle to be accepted in a male dominated world. A women with something to say is often cast aside. Labelled as emotional, sensitive (although emotional and sensitivity are positives in my eyes) crazy, bossy, bolshy, aggressive, controlling, loud, manipulative. Where as a man would be described as strong minded, ambitious, forthright, knowledgeable, a leader, confident etc etc. This toxicity is engrained in every facet of our society so no wonder women crack. Theres no wonder we feel trapped and contained. As Melissa says let's become the water and break free. Any form of oppression will create a inevitable response.

There is a constant daily feeling of being misinterpreted and misjudged. I know I deal with this struggle. Societies expectation of what a women is allowed to be has lead women (including myself) to constantly apologise and constantly edit and doubt what we are allowed to say, which in turn leads to low self esteem, low confidence and self doubt. We are capable of doing anything if we just allow ourselves to believe in our own ability to be ourselves. 

Melissa uses space is such an interesting way, she talks about the space between or the gaps between, which funnily enough is also the name of a piece of work I made during lockdown and is the way I see my observational videos and photos as spaces in time, the gaps where Im most in connection with the world around me. Like the gestures the moments I capture are of chance observation where the lines of existence are blurred and interruption from reality I feel like those are gaps that connect everything. Like the gaps that connect Melissa painting. I find it interesting that she sees these painting like sections of film which are records of reality. I also find so much beauty in unintended marks that are permanently recorded her work is such a beautiful visual interpretation. 

Melissa’s work is a tongue in cheek take on an abstract painting not intended to be merely decorative like most Abstract painting could be perceived. Melissa’s work explores documentation of the unintentional. Her prints remind me of the ghost prints I use the get from my lino cuts or press prints. I actually used to layer them too. Strangely enough I also collect marks and stains from paint like records of matter creating patterns. I love the look of organically formed impression. I also created a slippage piece during the first lockdown that ended up moving from painting to photography. The work itself no longer exists in the same form it was photographed in because initially it was juts a record of the process. Like Melissa says it is a gesture that I see as site specific. It's a gesture to me that could not be truly replicated again unless photographed so I suppose it could be seem as a way of preserving or containing its creation.

Melissa also talks about her interest in film being linked to her paintings and prints. The painting themselves resemble stills or negative with the gaps on the wall being the places where gestures lives.

Melissa’s Female Readymades were inspired by the under representation of female artist and the speculation about the authorship of Marcel Duchamps ‘Fountain’ by Elsa Von Freytag - Loringhoven and xxxxxxxx. Her works talks about this idea that many female artist authorship for their work was stolen. It’s still happening to this day. Funnily enough, I did an essay on Duchamp's work Estant Donnes, in which I discussed the speculation surrounding the fountain and it’s authorship. I think it is really important for female artist and artists in general to keep writing about these things. 

I though it was really interesting that Melissa used a photograph taken in Marcel Duchamp’s studio, which depicts the fountain being hung. Melissa saw this as a rather aggressive thing for Marcel to do. She disgust its disappearance and that fact that Marcel did not calm authorship for many year. Melissa didn't seem to think there was any evidence, but after my research during my essay I actually think there is quite a lot of information out there and I don't think its merely speculative either, there are some really interesting detailed published papers that really made me think. 

Melissa said something really interesting. she said that was should let the history speak for itself and I completely agree. The more people research these works and others like them the more these artists will be recognised and come to light within the wider community.

Melissa was really helpful in both the Q&A and the one to one. She suggested some really I nteresting artists and books for me to read. As well as a feminist discussion and reading group. 

Recently been suggested that maybe I should concentrate on one thing, which I appreciate the advice very much, but I really don't work like that. I don't think like that either. My work may be perceived as a globular house by some or confusing and unclear by others. Melissa even said it doesn't have to be tidied up, which I thought was a good analogy, we digest and tidy up what we are thinking and what we want to portray. I don't like to be put in a box or contained so why start now. I just have to share what I want to share in a thoughtful way. I was thinking about this in the context of my instagram account. To me is not a collection of works, but more a display of progress and documentation so maybe that is also the work?

Why should any artist drop things that interest them. In my opinion it all adds to their practice. To become more palatable to a viewer is to become a product designer not a fine artist. If my work appears confusing it is probably because Im still simmering. As Rory always says it will all make sense in the end and I think it finally is. The Meaning and connections take time. I like my grainy over saturated photographs. I feel they are fitting in our existential world. I also enjoy blurry distorted close up images and videos. Reality isn't perfect. 

I also spoke with Melissa about water being a running theme in my work and talked about Hydro Feminism. I looked this up straight after the one to one and I was blown away. The movement of solidarity for people across bodies of water. I will have to add this as a separate Tumblr entry. I have far too much to add about it. This subject is so interesting and so apt to my practice. 

It was an absolute pleasure to meet Melissa. Im really looking forward to following her work. She has an exciting installation planned where she will be recreating the interior wall of both Elsa Von Freytag - Loringhoven and Jenny xxxx apartment walls. The viewer can walk through their passed living space. As an installation artist this really speaks to me. The floating walls are like a ghost of their passed and viewer is almost existing between dimensions of reality become part of the past and the present, which is a running theme in my work too. Its absolutely brilliant. I really look forward to seeing it coming to fruition.  

[letsreadbookgroup-blog]

Practical Magic by Alice Hoffman ⭐⭐⭐⭐

Synopsis vis Goodreads: The Owens sisters confront the challenges of life and love in this bewitching novel from New York Times bestselling author Alice Hoffman.

For more than two hundred years, the Owens women have been blamed for everything that has gone wrong in their Massachusetts town. Gillian and Sally have endured that fate as well: as children, the sisters were forever outsiders, taunted, talked about, pointed at. Their elderly aunts almost seemed to encourage the whispers of witchery, with their musty house and their exotic concoctions and their crowd of black cats. But all Gillian and Sally wanted was to escape.

One will do so by marrying, the other by running away. But the bonds they share will bring them back—almost as if by magic...

There’s this phenomena I know you’ve experienced, coined the Baader-Meinhof phenomena: you’re introduced to one concept and then can’t seem to escape it. (This is also known as frequency/recency illusion, and I’m no psychiatrist but I think the Jungian concept of “synchronicity” could also apply.)

Alice Hoffman would be an author with whom I experienced this phenomena over the last eight months. I had heard of her before, but never paid much attention. Then, for one of the reading bets last spring, a participant read The Red Garden. Another participant also enthused over Hoffman’s work. I began seeing her novels - specifically Faithful - all over the bookstores I was browsing (the cover really lends itself to being noticeable without being obnoxious!). But after reading the synopses for Hoffman’s books that caught my eye, nothing really clicked. They sounded intriguing, sure, but nothing that made me take it to the counter immediately. What really kicked me into high gear was when Reese Witherspoon chose The Rules of Magic as her book club’s pick for October and Book of the Month included Hoffman’s latest novel in their November selections.

With The Rules of Magic all over my social media, I decided to check out the synopsis; finally, a Hoffman novel piqued my interest enough to make me want to commit! But being a prequel, and me being a bit Type-A, I had to start with Practical Magic. Admittedly, reading the synopsis for Practical Magic didn’t even particularly entice me. And though I knew it was a movie in the mid-1990’s, and I know I watched it, none of it really stuck with me or made an impression. But after the recommendations of those readers earlier in the year, and with the saturation The Rules of Magic was perpetuating in my life, I decided to just give it a whirl. (While trying to find it at the bookstore, I also picked up Faithful, because I figured why keep denying fate.)

And once I finished it, it took everything in me to not immediately jump to Faithful, or even Rules. So now I’m all in on Hoffman and I am looking forward to savoring her back catalogue over the next few years, letting myself read one of her novels as a treat when I need to shake out some cobwebs in my reading life.

It’s become evident to me over this year that I love books about middle aged women written by middle aged women. I’m a trans dude who cannot get enough about women in the midst of a midlife crisis with a family to hold together. Stories about mothers and daughters and sisters and female relationships grip me in a way my old standby favorites (mystery, sci-fi, thriller) never can.

I don’t have anything specific to tease out about why I loved this book. The whole emotional landscape immediately captured me and I never once felt like I was in anything but safe hands. I related to Sally’s need to be precise and careful, never letting go of a firm grip on her life, maintain control. I was baffled by Gillian’s recklessness, but admired her ability to throw caution to the wind while ultimately finding a way to embrace - and crave - the stability her sister and nieces could provide. My heart broke for Kylie when she began having to navigate her overnight rebellion and maturity, finding her way back to herself with new strength and courage, and in doing so finally forging a bond with Antonia. I loved how true supernatural experiences were used not just as plot, but also to emphasize how much the natural world around us can be abundant with magic and supernatural, if only we open ourselves to experience it.

What could become a tiresome plot device - Jimmy’s dead body haunting the family over the course of one summer - was used only to create forward momentum for the women, never to create unnecessary obstacles. I appreciated that when men were used as love interests, most of the time they were used as scenery dressing. Adding color to the lives of the Owens’. The men who did take up more space did so to build Sally and Gillian, never to shadow them. Even when characters were preoccupied by men and romance, it never felt like they were so focused that they lost themselves. For example, once Sally met Gary near the end of the novel - she knew she was attracted to him and wanted him. But the doubt and the dilemma she faced about pursuing him wasn’t about him, it was about what she wanted and what she needed.

Gillian entering the story in earnest after a string of failed marriages prevented us from experiencing her own obsession with men and desire to escape into them; rather we were able to understand how she was navigating away from that behavior. When she started being pursued by Ben Frye, we didn’t doubt she wanted to build a relationship with him - but the fretting wasn’t about whether or not she had made a good impression, it was about what it would mean for him to have her in his life. She didn’t tear herself down or try to remold herself, she only attempted to understand who she was now and whether who she was made sense to start a relationship. And when she thought it didn’t make sense - she didn’t try to run away or change herself.

As I was finishing this book I also needed to find a birthday gift for my older sister. When I looked at her wishlist I saw she had added The Red Garden and I knew there wasn’t any other book I should get for her. Whether it’s Baader-Meinhoff or fate, some things have a momentum all their own.

[arplis]

Arplis - News: How to Keep it Simple with Your Camper Van Conversion

If you have dreams of traveling and camping in a photoshoot-worthy campervan, youre not alone. Lots of people are inspired by the beautiful campervan conversions they see on social media. But do you really need your camper to look like something out of a catalogue? Or do you simply want to live and camp comfortably while traveling?

The reality of converting a van into a campervan is that everything you add has the potential to create more work and more issues when youre on the roadnot to mention the upfront time and money youll need to install every fancy feature you find on Pinterest.

When I bought my GMC Vandura and started living in it part-time, simplicity was my focus. I wanted to seriously downsize my life, so I didnt want to fill my van with too many extras.

The Key to a Successful Campervan Conversion? Keep it Simple.

The van life movement is rooted in minimalism. The VW van-dwellers of the 60s didnt have Pinterest to source ideas from. They lived and camped in their camper vans as a way to escape the confines of too many possessions. And the recent resurgence of van-love, now replete with a hashtag (#vanlife), grew in tandem with the tiny house obsession, along with the idea that less is more. People wanted to reinvent the American Dream, without expensive mortgages and working their lives away to pay the bills. They wanted to get outside more. Mobile living (including tiny homes, vans, RVs etc.) offered a simpler version of comfort, along with mobility, freedom, and low-cost living.

Kelly S. is keeping it simple with her 2002 Chevrolet Express camper van conversion.

But as this alternative lifestyle has turned into mainstream clickbait, the minimalism is sometimes overshadowed by expensive Sprinter van build-outs and elaborate rigs.

Now, dont get me wrong. I love a gorgeously curated interior. I bet you do, too. But the reality is I dont have the budget or the time for all the bells and whistles. And when Im sleeping at campgrounds, I really dont need them. If youre looking to turn your van into a camper van, you might not be interested in the fancy build-outs either.

Whether youre parking at campgrounds or boondocking, you dont have to spend tens of thousands of dollars in converting a van into a camper van.

Lets break down the things you do need in your simple camper van conversion

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Camp fire in the woods

. . . . #campfire #campfirecooking #camplife #camping #campinghacks #adventure_culture #adventureland #adventurers #outdoorliving #gooutdoors #vanlifecamping #vanlifeexplorers #vanlifeproject #welovecamping #Mountkidd #rvparklife #summeradventure #coupleswhocamp #campgoals #campvibes #weliveinavan #modernnomad #modernmillennial #lifeofadventure #twogirlsonevan #exploretheoutdoors #explorers #lesbianswhocamp #gaysinthewoods

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Two Girls One Van

(@two_girls_one_van) on May 30, 2018 at 3:29pm PDT

5 Things to Focus on for a Simpler Campervan Conversion

I spoke to some fellow vanlifers some of them live in their vans full-time, others camp in their vans on weekends to round out my own advice on what you need for a simple van conversion.

M own camper van conversion is a 1986 GMC Vandura. Its old and creaky and slightly unreliable, but (most of the time) I love it, and its perfect for camping.

A Bed

The bed is the foundational difference between a van and a campervan. (Related: once you have a bed in your van, its officially an RV, according to AAA, and youll need their RV coverage if you ever want a tow. I discovered that on the side of the highway in Seattle.)

Ive seen vans with the backseats removed and a mattress thrown in. Ive even seen a hammock strung up inside of a van, which can be easily removed to maximize living space when youre not sleeping.

My van came with a bed that folds into itself to create a bench seat. Its similar to this one, built by @gnomad_home:

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Everyone has been asking us how our couch to bed situation works in our #van! So we decided to make this little #timelapse video for you all to see! Thanks for all the questions and compliments so far, and feel free to keep 'em coming!!

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John

Nymeria

Delilah (@gnomad_home) on Mar 5, 2017 at 12:43pm PST

But I keep mine out like a bed all the time, and find the bed works fine for sitting and occasionally working on my laptop. If I did a camper van conversion myself, I wouldnt bother with the fold-up feature.

The vanlifers behind Two Wandering Soles built a super simple platform bed in the back of their Chevy, and they offer detailed instructions on how to make your own.

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The sleeping area! A custom cut (bigger than) king sized mattress! It fills the back of the Doka and creates a HUGE bed!

>>>

@Vanlifeing_com >>> #ThisisVanlifeing Captured by@vwdoka

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(@camper.lifestyle) on Jun 21, 2018 at 12:11pm PDT

When it comes to bedding, Im a big fan of an excessive number of pillows. And Im kind of in love with my Pendleton wool blanket. But now that the weather is warming up, its much too hot. I love the concept of the Rumpl blanket its made out of sleeping bag material which stays nice and cool, but also keeps you warm. Plus, my dogs hair wont stick to it, like it does with the wool blanket. I dont have one yet, but its on my list for summertime van camping.

Power + Light

Theres something special about being in the van at night. I drove miles up into the coastal mountains of Oregon to reach Horse Creek Campground on my first van camping trip. The dark tunnel of dirt road was eery, as I drove further and further away from civilization. But then I reached the nearly empty campground, turned on my collection of Christmas lights, strung around the vans ceiling, turned off the headlights, and felt right at home.

The thing is, if you want to do anything in your van at night, youre going to need light. Ive amassed more and more Christmas lights, which I plug in to The Lycan Powerbox from Renogy. If I want to read, I also turn on a little lantern I have hanging over the bed.

My lights, computer, and fan can all run at once from The Lycan Powerbox. So I have power for camping or working in a Starbucks parking lot (as Im doing, here).

I have a foldable lantern in the storage compartment over the drivers seat in my camper van conversion, so I can see to find my clothes. And a few smaller lights scattered around the van, so theres always one in arms reach when I climb in and need to see before I accidentally step in my dogs water bowl.

The UCO Gear Sitka Lantern is another appealing option. The extendable arm can give you light from above, which is especially handy when cooking or reading.

Im also a big fan of battery operated twinkle lights. Theyre not great for reading, but they give my van a cozy vibe for nighttime relaxation.

My dog, Jackson, likes the twinkle light vibe. He does not like it when I shine my headlamp in his face to take a photo.

Because you can never have enough options when it comes to your ability to see in the dark, I also keep a headlamp on hand. Ledlenser Headlampsare so much brighter than most headlamps Ive tried. Stick one behind your gallon of water for a makeshift lantern when its not on your head.

Fellow van camper Kelly S. also keeps it simple when it comes to lights:I didnt want to mess around with wiring a van, storing an extra battery, figuring out how to charge an extra battery, etc, so I have hooks on the ceiling for battery powered LED lanterns. This way, theyre portable too, and you can use them outside of the van!

Econoline-dweller Rachel loves her LED lights for keeping things simple, too: For lights I have an LED strip that plugs into USB and I just use those little backup phone batteries and switch them out and charge them through my lighter while Im driving.

Shelly S. is hooked on LUMINAID. I get the Cairn subscription box, which is how I received the initial run of this awesome little lantern and have been stuck to it ever since.

Water

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We recently upgraded our water tanks. We bought 3 taller tanks that fit in the same space as our 2 old tanks. We now have ~ 15 gallons of water which can last 1-2 weeks depending where we are and what we're doing. Great decision. #garageviews

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Rule number #1 with any type of camping: Bring more water than you think youll need. This isnt hard when youre van camping theres plenty of room! But you have a bunch of options when it comes to water storage.

Kelly S. shares how she sourced her best van ideas from traditional tent camping, including water.

For water I have a 7-gallon aquatainer. If you need drinking water? Theres a spout right there! Coupled with a tub on the floor underneath the split, you have a sink to wash your hands, too! Having it bungee corded in place for transport works great, and then if you want to spread out somewhere you stop, you can take it out!

Related Reading:

This Family is Building a Modern Camper Out of Free Materials Found on Craigslist

When it comes to water storage, you really cant beat the classic big blue jug. The Reliance Aqua-Tainer 7 Gallon holds plenty of water for a summer weekend of water drinking, dish washing, and the occasional foot rinse after a barefoot stroll around the campground. Just make sure you have a way to secure it to the floor when youre bouncing down dirt roads.

As for showers, if your van is strictly for camping, then you can usually rely on campground bathrooms for bathing or simply embrace the dirt while youre out there.

If you want to get a little crafty, you can add a makeshift outdoor shower to the roof of your van with ABS piping and a hose.

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One afternoon last spring, we wandered into a Home Depot and stared up at the black ABS piping in the plumbing section. Keith figured there had to be some way to make a shower outta that stuff. Wed mount it to our @yakimaracks roof rack, the sun would warm it up, and gravity would send it down. And thats exactly what it does. Simple. Just like everything else we have goin on in this home of ours. We dont have a fridge, we have a cooler. We dont have LED lighting, we have an old string of Christmas lights. We dont have air conditioning, we have wet rags and a tiny tower fan we got for 9 bucks. We dont have a toilet, we havethe groundand Starbucks.. What Im saying is, you can install plumbing in your van if you want toyou can spend months on end googling every tutorial on earth if you want toyou can pay big money to build out the most well-equipped vehicle around if you want to We simply hope to serve as a reminder that you dont necessarily *have* to.

A post shared by Brianna Madia (@briannamadia) on Apr 3, 2018 at 7:50am PDT

Since I sometimes spend several weeks in my van, I wanted to have a place to wash my face and brush my teeth. I relied on disposable face wipes and gym bathrooms for the first few months. But then my friends at Wood Intimations built a gorgeous sink that is super simple and looks great and its been a game changer.

The pump faucet draws water from a 4 gallon jug beneath the sink, and gray water drains down into a hole in the van floor, so I dont have to empty anything.

It also provides some much needed counter space, and a little shelf for storing those tiny things that always get lost in the van, like the remote to my twinkle lights and my chapstick!

Organization

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TO ALL WEEKEND WARRIORS

. . #doit #doitagain #comfortzone . . #ontheroad #optoutside #wanderlust #nature #vwcalifornia #vankit #freedom #solitude #stayandwander #wilderness #rygg #vegan #croatia #roadtrip #issiontour #vanpuppy #explore #adventure #vaninterior #handmade #bagdesign #travel

A post shared by VANTALE (@van.tale) on Jun 8, 2018 at 8:31am PDT

Organization is so important for your sanity when living or camping in a camper van conversion. Even if youre a minimalist guru who wears one outfit and lives off protein bars, youre going to manage to collect more stuff than you think.

And if your lighting isnt great, its going to be even more difficult to find that stuff.

Staying organized will make you feel like you have a handle on the whole #vanlife thing. Organization can be as simple as a few plastic bins that can slide under your bed. Just make sure you know exactly what youre storing in each of them. (Clear storage containers are ideal so you can see whats in there when you inevitably forget.)

Shelly S. camps in her 4Runner. Its not a van, but the same concepts apply, she tells me. Organization is important for her, too. Mountainsmith has some nice storage cubes soft sided and stuffable. That being said, you can do about the same with those free cloth shopping totes, stored in either a cardboard box or a plastic bin.

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#HELP All right Vanlifers or Van designers or Anyone reallyI need your help! I have this space. All this space. Crazy right when you live in a van, usually it's the complete opposite. So.what the heck do I do with it!? I'd prefer not to put any more storage or I'll just fill it with crap (most of this stuff in the back is not mine). I don't need a pull-out kitchen or a place to store bikes, adventure gear. So other than turning it into a bedroom and renting it I'm at a miss.. Any suggestions???

A post shared by Sian Knox (@exmouth_vanlife) on Dec 22, 2017 at 9:07pm PST

Leah W. recommends as few belongings as possible for staying organized. My biggest recommendation is really paring things down to what you NEED. I had one set of basic utensils, one pot, plate, and bowl, a one burner stove, etc. A small toiletry bag, one duffel bag of summer clothing, one duffel bag of winter clothing. She agrees with Shelly about using bags for organization. While most people are fans of creating boxes for organization, we found that sturdy-ish bags worked best.

I went to the Container Store and bought a couple of soft containers with attached lids. Because the structure of the containers is fabric, theyre easy to stick into places where they barely fit, like the storage area above the driver and passenger seats of my GMC Vandura.

Hooks have also been a sanity saver for me in my sometimes not so organized camper van conversion. I keep a jacket and a couple of shirts that I dont want to be all wrinkly, hanging on a hook by the door. I always know where they are, and I can reach extra layers if I get cold at night. I also have a hook for my headlamp, because that is something that always gets lost.

When it comes to food storage, youll need to think about uninvited house visitors.

Store your food in closed containers or bins, advises Leah W. We started our trip with our food in an open crate, and quickly had mouse friends also enjoying our snacks.

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