#i FEEL like i dont have enough written here but i do think a lot abt solomon and night forest cause i rlly do enjoy the aesthetics of the-

[mythalism]

more me verbally processing my feelings on this game and it's story that i sent in discord but i know reading these things can be helpful to others processing so im sharing them here <3

even though i think i personally am able to find coherent meaning in solas's ending, specifically the status of the veil, and i do think its good and i like it, i really have to work to do it. the way its written is kind of confusing because the message is like ok. let go of your regrets. but you also have to atone for your mistakes. but solas believes he is atoning by taking the veil back down and bringing immortality back and making sure more spirits are not turned into demons? but the story tells us that version of atonement is Wrong, but why is it wrong? because people will die? but people also die because of the veil? mages are mass incarcerated and lobotimized bc of the veil, elves have been enslaved for millenia, PEOPLE AGE AND DIE, BECAUSE OF THE VEIL? so he isnt supposed to atone for that mistake by fixing it he's just supposed to accept it and let go? so are we supposed to atone for our mistakes or not? what determines whether or not we need to atone? he has to atone for what he did to the titans but not what he did by accident to his own people i guess? and he is going to atone by maintaining the status quo that he created because people have gotten used to it?

i think the answer based on the regret prison scene with rook escaping with varric's help and that banger line of varric's is to take accountability and own up to your choices, they are yours and no one can take them from you. rook says something to one of the regret statues (for me it was harding) thats like "i made a choice and so did you and you knew the risks" or something so i think that is the key. solas cannot accept his choices and so he is desperate to undo them no matter what kind of harm it may do. he is trapped in regret and the past to the point that he cant accept them and move forward, and varric is the perfect contrast of this with how readily he accepts his death as a consequence of his love and hope for his friend. even mythal accepts her own choices when she tells solas that she turned him from his purpose. and she doesnt apologize or even express regret at all, partly because shes a crazy bitch (affectionate) but partly because i think her quiet, cold acceptance is part of the lesson solas needs to learn in that moment. solas is constantly saying, "im sorry, but", "ir abelas, vhenan, but i cannot". mythal just states her actions plainly; i forced you to take a body, i brought you into war, these burdens are ours to bear together, i release you. no apology, no rumination, she is at peace with her decision even though it is wrong. i think this works wonderfully on a personal individual level of personal regrets. it is a good lesson; regret does not serve any purpose other than to hurt you. it brings no one back, it helps nothing, it does not make the world a better place. solas has to let go of his regrets so that he can become the hero that varric sees deep down in him. it is an essential part of his personal journey as a character... but it gets stickier when we are talking about systemic change. obvi a lot of dragon age's modern, young audience is very much in favor of "tear it all down!!" and i am too but i think with solas they are trying to tell a very personal and individual story of a man and his regrets rather than make a social commentary on radical change, but they also dont make that clear enough, so the two get muddied together when it comes to the question of the veil in a way that feels like they are advocating for maintaining the status quo, which i dont think was their intention.

i think this is so muddied because inquisition very much makes clear commentary on systems and institutions with the chantry, the orlesian empire, ferelden monarchy, mages and templars, and the inquisition itself being all vulnerable to corruption, and solas has a lot to say about all of this and he is very much presented as being right (like when he tells you about the corruption in your own ranks in trespasser and how hes spying on you lol) and then veilguard does not do this AT ALL, all of the issues are very personal ones of people and their identity, people and their family, people and their regrets etc. so i think a lot of us are in this mindset from inquisition of like.... yeah disrupt the status quo install a puppetmaster elf to rule an imperialist empire, make leliana pope and radicalize the chantry even if its bloody, dissolve the inquisition, abolish the circles etc. etc. and the question of the veil is very much an extension of these philosophical questions about systems and organizations. and for those of us who leaned towards dissolution of all of those corrupt structures, dissolution of the veil is the logical conclusion to a story thats sending us that message. but then veilguard just. does not even engage with these topics at all. like its not even a question. it takes the question of the veil and translates it into a personal issue of solas's psyche (which is super interesting, just different) and connects it to his past actions, his relationship with mythal, and his perception of himself, rather than a macro-level question of what is best for the world when pursuing change, and the answer for solas on a personal level ends up being different from the answer that inquisition was asking us, but it feels disjointed as a result.

so the veil staying up was the right decision because it forced solas to let go of his regrets and the game is about him. so it was an exercise in his therapy session with his two ex-gfs and some annoying kid who wont leave him alone. but the problem is it doesn't answer or engage with the greater questions and themes about systemic change that the series has been building up to.

veilguard is interesting because it wants to be dragon age 2 so bad while simultaneously being terrified of dragon age 2. solas bringing down the veil would have been the answer to the question that anders blowing up the chantry asked, but veilguard decided to ask a completely different question instead. and i think it did a good job in that specific goal, but it doesnt satisfy 15 years of build up and instead just throws it out the window in favor of something else.

[seiwas]

sellllllll it's meeeeee. hehehehehehehehehhehe

so for ur writing exercises.... deku + light? please? pretty please?

:3c

heheh heheh hehe niku. this will be the death of me. me writing izuku for the first time 🥲 i will only do this for you </3

contains: established relationship, spoilers for the end of the manga, aged up deku but sometime in between the final outcome (he doesn't get the h*** s*** from bakugo yet), mentions of sex and scars

deku + light

izuku only sleeps with the lights off.

it isn't uncommon; many people you know can't sleep with even just a sliver of light turned on somewhere in the room. but the difference with izuku, you learn, is not that he's unable to stand the light―it's that he refuses to.

you quickly pick up on it the first few times he sleeps over.

he fidgets in bed, pretty badly, actually. the nightlight you sleep with glows a warm yellow, illuminating the side of your face and coating him in its afterglow. you chalk it up to nerves, how he pulls at his sleeves and adjusts his position constantly; he is, after all, one of the most anxious people you know.

and this relationship―it's new. heck, even you feel a little jittery with his arm wrapped around you.

the rhythmic tapping on your hip only increases pace. you don't think he realizes it, so your hand gently reaches for his, intertwining your fingers as you turn around in his arms.

he's close, nearly touching you nose-to-nose; the proximity leaves you fuzzy, a little ticklish, so you giggle, a soft "oops," as the freckles dusting his face almost glisten under the warm light.

"hi," you whisper, meeting his eyes; they stare back at you wide in surprise, "can't sleep?"

he looks almost guilty at your question, as if you’ve caught him with the one thing he's been trying to keep from you.

"just—" his voice comes out louder than intended, prompting him to chuckle nervously as he readjusts his volume, "just winding down, sorry."

you inch closer, nuzzling his nose lightly, "it's okay."

"did i wake you?" he asks, cheeks flushing pink as his eyebrows furrow in immediate concern. his expression is something caught between stifling a grin and feeling sorry.

you shake your head against the pillow you share, strands of your hair tangling with his. "just winding down," you tease, watching as his gaze turns softer, eyelids drooping heavier.

sometimes, you think, izuku holds the world in his eyes―a deep, dark green, the color of life. most times, they look at you with wonderment, bright and alive; photos from inko tell you they're the eyes of his inner child.

on nights like this one, however, they hide a depth in them weighted by what you can only assume is time, and all that has happened to him in such a short span of it.

you try your best to understand what lies beneath them, knowing full well he'll never tell you outright what truly bothers him.

"is it the light?" you bring up, some time after laying in silence.

"hm?" he clarifies.

"do you have a hard time sleeping with the nightlight?"

his eyes widen briefly once more, as if shocked that you've caught him again. these split second reactions are ones you've learned to be attentive to when it comes to izuku.

"no," he tries to lie, but you know better as you turn to your nightstand and reach for its switch, "you don't–"

"it was hurting my eyes," you quickly make up an excuse, tucking yourself closer under his chin as you cut off his attempt to deny it again.

finding out that the light was the problem was the easy part—

you'd begun to notice much earlier on that izuku was barely rested on the nights he'd spend at your place. it was only when your old nightlight broke that you began to notice him waking up much later than you did, groggily rousing from a deep sleep.

—what was hard, was figuring out why.

at first, you suspected it was his scars.

"s-sorry, it's not—" he'd warned you, right as your hands gripped the hem of his shirt the first time you were about to have sex, "—it's not nice."

you didn't care though; you still don't care, and you've made that abundantly clear to him since. you love izuku and all his parts―all the nicks and jaggedy pieces of skin that make up who he is.

when you eventually ask him about it, with a request that he be honest with you for once, he tells you that it is and it isn't―the reason why he exclusively sleeps with the lights off, that is.

it's an odd, comforting relationship he has with his body—that he is simultaneously grateful and sorry for how its become a canvas, both painted and marred to symbolize japan’s historic last stand.

you find out the real reason when you catch him staring at his hands.

he does it often, when he thinks you aren't looking—his fists bunched up in the same way he used to watch the power of one for all course through his fingertips; the same way he used to prepare them in battle.

there’s a faraway look in his eyes that lingers, you notice—a little wistful if anything.

“do you miss it?” you finally ask. he gives you the same shocked look he does every time, as if he’s been caught with a secret he’s been trying to hide.

he’s learned a fair bit about you now, too, though—lying to you is futile when you’ve perfected reading his truth. he stares at his fists again as you take a seat beside him, moving to give you space. you rest your head on his shoulder gently, waiting.

“sometimes,” he admits, but you know it’s an understatement.

“i think about the vestiges a lot. i miss them the most, i think,” he continues, clenching his fists tightly, “i always try to reach out to them, but i guess it doesn’t work that way.”

“i… i try to replicate the right conditions every night, but…” then he lets go, stretching his fingers out wide. the scars on the surface ripple through his skin, telling its own story.

you hum, acknowledging what he means. silence sits with the two of you as you take his hand in yours, slowly unfurling his fingers until his palm reveals itself to you. it’s rough to the touch, seasoned with hard work and all that he’s been through.

“is that why you prefer the dark?” you ask softly, after some time.

it's not often that you stay up later than izuku does. when you do though, you catch him shifting in bed, moving from side-to-side. you pretend you aren't awake, but you hear him mumble their names, dwindling in volume as he dozes off to sleep.

he stares at his palm for a moment before he admits quietly, "yeah." his brows furrow as if contemplating whether to say more, but he shakes his head, dark green strands swaying to the beat of his embarrassed chuckle, "nevermind, it's silly."

"it's not."

you intertwine your fingers, sandwiching his hand between yours. a slight sheen glosses over his eyes as he tilts his head up to look at you. he draws in a breath, before it spills over.

"it's..." he finds the words, and you squeeze his hand in comfort, "it's easier to believe it was all real when the lights are out, and that maybe it can happen again."

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

because im less breakable than you

[ccrabapples]

So fucked up that I spend all my time creating things and making art and then if I finish it I'm like "huh, neat" and hide it away

[vaugarde]

well i finished renegade. i sure was renegading all over the place

[crispysnake]

[thenothlng]

Can i ask ab like. Solomon if you have any thots

WHAT A GUYYYYY i know 4 some people, the area of the night forest in general and its themes makes them uncomfortable but PERSONALLY 4 me at least, it was rlly interesting! i can say the same thing abt solomon tbh. he rlly is just a guy and if im comparing him to all of the other lemurian heroes, he places like. a solid 3rd for me i think. he doesn't do anything rlly mean to us nor does he rlly "undervalue" the wizard and their help... hes just a little goofy sometimes (more thoughts in the tags :3)

[klovesyall]

Oh my. My brain is full of ideas, but I can't write.

Spencer, but it's his first time showering with his gf? Either she casually invites him to join her, or maybe she's also a member of the BAU and was injured and needs some assistance?

AN: oh absolutely hun. I wasn’t sure if you wanted nsfw or fluff so I went with fluff for a safe option. Also I’m so sorry if this lowkey sucks. This is definitely my first rodeo with writing and I know it’s not perfect but I hope you kinda like it?

OK MORE RECENT AN: im sooooooooooooooooooooooo sorry this took so long. I don’t even have an excuse. And I’m so sorry because this is ASS. But I feel bad not giving you anything so here you go

Warnings: Fluff, swearing? , talk of nakedness and stuff idk

————————————————————

Spencer had been extra protective of you ever since you got hurt. He didn’t want you to lift a single finger, even though you were perfectly capable. He made you food , carried your bags, hell- he even offered to carry you if your crutches got too annoying. All of this to say , he was willing to do anything to make you comfortable.

“Spence, I’m gonna take a shower.” You say with your back turned as you grab some pajamas out of the dresser drawer.

“What?” His voice was filled with concern, as it often was. When you turned around toward him he had the same amount of concern written on his face

“I have to shower Spencer, my hair is so dirty it looks wet.” You haven’t washed your hair in a few days, relying on dry shampoo and braided hair to get you by.

Spencer was thinking for a moment , you could tell by the way his brow furrowed slightly. He finally answers “Let me help you.”

You were slightly taken aback by his response. Spencer wasn’t usually confident enough to initiate or out right suggest anything intimate. And taking a shower together was definitely intimate. Not to say you were opposed to the idea though

“Are You Sure Spence? You do know I shower naked right?” Your tone was some what joking but also kind of not. Regardless you hear the little chuckle you love so much

“Yes I know. I dont want you to fall and get hurt any more than you already are. If you don’t want me to thats fine I just-“

You cut him off

“That would be really helpful, thank you.”

You see Spencer’s worry ease from his face and it’s replaced with a little curve of his lip

You give him a little smile before returning to grabbing your pajamas and walking to the bathroom. Spencer graciously follows you inside, locking the door behind him. When you turn to the counter , Spencer is quick to slip past you, turning on the shower for you.

“Do you take your showers warm or hot.” Spencer asks as if it’s so incredibly normal

“Uh hot I guess? It’s ok I can-“

He stops you when you begin to walk over

“Let me Take Care of you. Please.”

You sigh “you know I can do it myself.”

Spencer takes a step toward you, placing his hands on either side of your shoulders

“I know, but I don’t want to risk anything. You do so much for me and you deserve to be helped as well, especially when your injured. So please let me do this for you.” His voice is soft but you can tell how strongly he feels about this

“Ok, I’ll let you handle it.” I say

He smiles “can I take your clothes off?”

I Nod “You don’t have to ask.” You said that a lot, and it didn’t matter how many times you did. Spencer always asked

He grabbed the bottom of your shirt and you raised your arms. He pulls the shirt off your body and folds it before placing it on the counter. He does the same with your pants. Your standing only in your underwear now

“Do you want me to do the rest?” You ask

He shakes his head “turn around for me.”

You turn so your back is facing him and he unclasps your bra, sliding it down your arms until it hits the floor. He hooks a finger under your underwear on either side of you, pulling them down and helping you step out of them. He smiles when he meets your eyes again

“See something you like pretty boy?” You raise an eye brow in a teasing manner.

“Always.” He replies before walking you over to the shower. Holding his hand, you slowly take a step inside until your under the water. Once inside , Spencer takes a step back and sheds his clothes as well before joining you in the shower.

Spencer had ensured that you had a shower bench installed into the bathroom you shared when you moved in together. He said it was for safety reasons but, you still wondered if it might be for other things.

“Sit.” Spencer says, leading you to the bench.

When you sit down he detaches the shower head and wets your hair. When it’s what he considers wet enough, he lathers shampoo into his hands and begins to massage it into your scalp.

This man has very capable hands, many uses. And washing your hair just got added to the list of them. You close your eyes from a moment letting out a contended sigh

“Feel good sweetheart?” Spencer asks gently

“Mhm, definitely.” You reply, barely opening your eyes.

Spencer rinses out the shampoo and conditions your hair. He helps you wash off and when you finally stand , you wrap your arms around his neck. His hands lace around your waist

“Thank you Spencer, you’re an angel.” You say pressing little kisses to his jaw. You can see the blush creeping on Spencer’s face.

“You’re welcome, I’m always happy to help you.” He says peering down at you.

The two of you exit the shower. Wrapping towels around your selves and getting dressed- well Spencer refuses to let you dress your self so he helps you. He even blow drys your hair for you because he knows you don’t like going to bed with it wet.

————————————————————

You lay in bed on your side facing him as he looks back at you. You reach out and brush a strand of his hair out of his eyes.

“You should stay home tomorrow.” Spencer says breaking the silence.

“Absolutely not. I’m perfectly capable of going into work. Plus Hotch would have my head if I didn’t go.” You say and Spencer sighs

“I don’t like the idea of you out on the field” he says once again with concern

“You’ll be with me. I’ll be fine.”

He sits up “I don’t want you to be fine I want you to be healthy.”

You sit up and scoot close to him “Spencer I’m going to work. If it makes you feel better I’ll stay back with Penelope and help her.”

Spencer relaxes a little “yea. Ok that makes me feel better. But don’t go doing anything stupid. That means no trying to entertain Penelope with” Spencer throws up air quotes “crutch tricks”

You groan and lay back down “whatever you say.”

You can hear Spencer’s little laugh as he turns off the lamp.

[slttygeto]

SOMETHING I’M MADE FOR

what was i made for? | think i forgot, how to be happy

જ⁀➴ synopsis: you owe suguru a lot. a heartfelt apology is one of them.

જ⁀➴ c.w: hurt/comfort, fem bodied! reader, very unrealistic timelines, i have never taken a 'break' while in a relationship so pls dont come for me, reader is mentioned to being depressed at one point, suguru is going through it, second chance sort of.

જ⁀➴ word count; 1,4k

જ⁀➴ note: idk how to feel abt this tbh

comments and reblogs are greatly appreciated!

There was no need for you to feel this nervous, but given the amount of times you’ve wiped your hand on the fabric of your skirt that would sound a bit ridiculous. You were nervous, and rightfully so. You stand in front of the same door that you used to have the keys to, a very familiar red wooden door with the number of the apartment written in gold sitting at the very top, you raise your hand and your knuckles collider with the wood one, two and then three times before you’re taking two steps behind out of respect and privacy for your… well, you didn’t know what to refer to Suguru in this case.

You try not to overthink it, you came here with good intentions. Over the four weeks with almost contact with the man except for the occasional text messages here and there, you’ve come to realize a couple of things. First, you needed to apologize to him. Four weeks isn’t enough for you to heal completely from the damage caused from feeling so low in a long term relationship, but it was enough time to reflect on how you behaved that night with him. Some of his words might’ve hurt you, but you later on figured that it was because he was right, as bad as it sounds.

And second, you were ready to let go of him if staying with you was draining him. You knew that Suguru would never tell you something like that—he might’ve been blunt with strangers, but the man had such a soft spot and a sweet side with his loved ones. God knows how much he loves you, and how many times he said it. But you were too busy thinking that your problems were burdening him and thus, you didn’t deserve the man.

You hear shuffling from behind the door and when it swings open with and you’re greeted with a Suguru in a lazy attire, you feel your heart get stuck in your throat. You hadn’t told him you were going to show up, but you had texted Satoru earlier the same week to make sure that he was at home. To say that Satoru wanted to kill you was an understatement, the white haired male was very protective of his best friend no matter how dearly you meant to him.

Me

Hey, is suguru gonna be home this week?

Satoru

yeah. he hasn’t been outside in a while. why?

Your heart drops when you read that. Suguru wasn’t the type to stay holed up in his place for too long.

Me

um I thought id give him a visit

Satoru

yeah sure

he’ll appreciate that

You could feel the ice cold stare of his best friend through those messages. Maybe it was a little childish from his part, but after hearing that Suguru was acting unusual, you figured that maybe this time you would gladly take the heat.

You hoped that the person standing in front of you wasn’t any different from the person you abruptly left four weeks ago after a horrible fight, but one quick look at the messy hair and the sleep deprivation visible on his face was enough to make your chest burn with guilt. You’re unsure of what to say for a good few seconds, eyes darting behind him only to find the vacuum in the middle of the middle room and groceries on the counter. It seemed like he was trying to get life back together, did you really decide to pop at the wrong moment?

“Do you need something?” the way he breaks the silence is almost bone chilling and you find yourself smiling nervously at him before holding up bags of food to show him that you got him his favorite. But he doesn’t budge, emotionless eyes darting all over your face in what you assumed to be an attempt at making you feel small. And boy, it was working.

You feel stupid and drop the bags of food in front of him before taking a few steps back.

“I wanted to talk to you.”

“About what?” Suguru knows what you want to talk about.

“About u-“

“About us?” He cuts you off before you can even finish and raises an eyebrow. “Didn’t you say that you wanted to stop thinking about me for a while?” he continues. “It’s only been a month.”

“A month is more than enough,” you try to reason. “We were together for three years, of course-“

“Should’ve told yourself that when you left me.” Suguru retorts venomously and you start getting the clear picture. While being away from him made you realize how toxic you were behaving towards him, you being out of his life brought out his worst side. You knew this Suguru—he was spiteful, filled with hatred and didn’t hesitate to cut anyone with his words.

“Suguru,” you try again. “Let me come in.” You see him bite back another snarky response and he complies, letting you walk inside.

Once the bags of food are inside and you see him close the door, you hesitate on where to sit. The kitchen seemed to bring back bad memories, so you choose the couch that you both picked when you first moved in here and you watch as he sits on the other side, a little grunt leaving his lips as he leans back and stares at you.

“Seems like you’ve been doing well,” he points out. “I forgot what happy you looked like.”

You squirm a little under his intense gaze, the way his eyes travel from your bare legs up to your upper half then your face. You were used to Suguru’s loving stare, he always looked at you like you meant the entire world to him—but right now? You felt like he could eat you up and spit you out with his eyes.

“I’ve been, um…” You pause and place one leg on top of the other. “Reflecting on how I behaved in our relationship.” You admit and look around the place. He still managed to keep it neat.

“It was wrong of me to explode on you that night, and to keep so many things from you—it doesn’t undo the fact that I said what I said, but I just want to apologize.” Suguru’s eyes seem to soften for a split second when you shift again in your seat.

“For what?” he asks flatly but the way his body relaxes on the couch indicates that he means no harm. “For possibly being depressed when you were with me?”

“No,” you avoid looking at him. “It wasn’t because I was with you it’s because-“

“That’s not what you said that night,” he cuts you off. “I am so perfect and my life is so perfect that being with someone like me made you feel too guilty to tell me about your problems.” He continues before leaning forward, placing both of his elbows on his knees. “My face…apparently, that was also a reason for you not to tell me about your problems.”

“I was wrong,” you start growing a little nervous. “You weren’t the problem, and I’m here to tell you that I am deeply sorry for what happened that night, even if it was needed.”

Suguru is quiet for a few moments, he is in deep thought before he decides to speak up again.

“You know, a month isn’t enough to fall out of love with a person you pictured your future with,” he starts. “But it sure is enough time for you to resent them a little. You’re hurt and confused, everything was going well, or so you thought,”

“Suguru…”

“I thought that maybe I didn’t want to think about you too, that I was doing so much better without you but-“ the dry chuckle makes your heart squeeze. “As you can see, it’s clearly not the case.”

“We don’t have to get back together right now,”  your voice is soft and the way you’re trying to make yourself look small on his couch tugs at Suguru’s heart strings.

“I don’t think it’s that easy either,” he admits. “After all, I still do resent you a little.” His honesty is both relieving and hurtful. A part of you knows that it’s a long and difficult process, but if there was any person actually worth fighting for in your life, it was Suguru. “But…” you raise your head when you hear him speak up.

“I think we could try.”

And through tearful eyes and shared hopeful smiles, you are finally able to breathe again.

“Yeah, I’d like that.”

2023 ; all works belong to @ slttygeto. do not repost my works on any other platofrm.

[yunyunrin]

Pool Play(date) — Yunho

genre : smut

warnings : sex in public, no prep, sex in a pool (wouldnt advise doing this), unprotected sex (pls dont do this), soft dom(?) yunho, reader has a vagina and breasts but there are no pronouns used towards reader, jongho makes an appearance

wc : right under 2.1k

a/n : this is the first smut i’ve written in years!! so it may not be the best but it was proofread by a close friend <3 so if you have any suggestions dont be afraid to give them i just ask you be nice! also, im working on holy fool i’ve just been so so busy but it is in the process of being written and chapter 1 should be out this week!

a/n 2 : this idea came from yunho’s story… thoughts were thought and i had to write them out LOL!!!! user yunou._.u u will be dealt with …

The sun’s rays beat heavily on your skin as you lay down on the chair by the pool. Although you put a lot of sunscreen on before you came on and even reapplied a couple of times since coming outside, you can still feel the twinge of red that the sun decided to lay upon your cheeks.

Your sunglasses mask the sun, and before you know it, you’re drifting off to sleep. You were enjoying your nap until you felt a splash of water hit you. This caused you to look up to find the cause of the disturbance of your nap.

It doesn’t take you long to find Yunho propping himself up on the edge of the pool looking at you with a mischievous grin. “Yunho, that wasn’t funny. I was taking a nap,” You fake an annoyed tone with him, but ultimately, your face fails you when you smile. You quickly turn away, but it is too late for Yunho already saw you smile.

Yunho gets out of the pool and comes to you and sits on the pool chair next to you. “I’m sorry that I annoyed my pretty baby,” Yunho says as he puts his hand in front of your eyes as you’ve taken off your sunglasses by this point since the splash of water got on them earlier.

“Well, maybe you shouldn’t interrupt the love of your life when they’re taking a nap,” You tell him, looking away from him to keep your ruse up a bit longer.

“Perhaps I should make it up to the love of my life then?” Yunho quips as his other hand begins to trail up your leg, goosebumps appearing once his hand moves from one spot to another.

“Yunho, not here.” You tell him while holding back a whine. You cover your face with your hands, your reaction to his light touch of your leg at the pool embarrassing you.

“Why not? Don’t you want something besides the sun to warm you up?” Yunho asks you innocently, but when you look at him a smirk is plastered across his face. His hand has moved to your hips, massaging the area around your waistband.

You blush at the comment, knowing that if the sun didn’t cause your face to be red then it definitely is red now. “Yunho, I would love for you to warm me up. But someone could walk in at any time.” You say nervously, looking around at the entrances that are near the pool.

“Baby, no one has been here all day. I promise no one will show up, but we don’t have to do anything. Plus, I can do a lot more in the comfort of our hotel room anyway.” Yunho says, and you know he means it.

But the thought intrigues you, if you’re being honest. Having to be quick so no one sees, Yunho having to cover you in case someone comes in. That thought alone is enough to make you squeeze your legs together, always loving that Yunho was so much taller and muscular than you that he could hide you with ease.

Your reactions to the thoughts wandering around in your head don’t go unnoticed by Yunho. The sexual tension so thick that you think that if anyone did happen to walk in, they would walk right out anyway. “So what do you say?” Yunho asks, breaking the silence that you and him had been sitting in.

“Yes, but on one condition.” You say, watching his face go from looking surprised (likely because he never expected you to say yes) and lust.

“What is your condition my love?” He asks you, his breathing starting to get a bit heavier than normal. You can see his boner pushing at his shorts, and you decide to tease him a little before answering. By this point, Yunho’s pool chair is right next to yours. You take advantage of the closeness, turning around to face him. You interlock your fingers with him and move your upper knee to slowly graze against his bulge, earning a grunt from the male.

“My condition is that we do it in the pool, you can’t kiss me, and you can’t take my bottoms off,” You accentuate the last word of your sentence with a pop. Yunho hates not being able to kiss you during sex and typically he hates the barrier that your bathing suit bottoms gives you.

“Can I kiss you underwater?” He asks you, and you nod, partially because you wanted to know what he’d do and how he’d figure something like that out. Next thing you know, you’re being picked up, and you’re in the water. Yunho took the liberty to jump in the deep side with you. You’re glad he knows how to swim because you don’t. Even if you did know how to swim, you think you’d fail yourself at this moment.

You and Yunho are under the water, he’s holding your waist close to him, and he is connecting your lips under the water. Before too long, you and him are back to the surface.

“Put your arms around my neck.” Yunho instructs you, his voice lowers a few more octaves than his normal voice. You wrap your arms around his neck, you look around and see that you’re both in the middle of the pool. “I was the one who was supposed to pay attention to the surroundings, no?” Yunho quips, as he grips your thigh and anchors your left leg around his waist.

Yunho has pushed you both to the very end of the pull, your back is touching the cool concrete of the edge. Your body tenses up with nervousness and excitement. This whole experience of the pool is new to you, but your insecurities are starting to hit you all at once.

“Hey, it’s okay. I’m not going to let anyone see you. Relax with me, please?” Yunho says to you, beginning to massage your hips again. Your hips were always really sensitive to you, Yunho often using it to his advantage in a multitude of situations. Luckily in this one, it had you calming down and squeezing your hips against Yunho’s waist as much as you could.

One of Yunho’s hands is holding on to the concrete to keep you afloat at the top, the other now rubbing against your clothed core. You put your face into Yunho’s neck, muffling the moan that escaped you at the initial touch of his hand.

His hand starts to move agonizingly slow causing you to move your head towards him. “Look at me while I touch you,” Yunho says to you before you can ask. His pointer finger hooks in the center of your bathing suit bottoms causing your breath to hitch.

His hand starts massaging your clit, using his abdomen to press into your lower stomach. “Yunho, stop” you say to him and he stops instantly. Worry fills his face as he looks at you trying to figure out what’s going on, looking around the outside of the pool, mentally cursing himself thinking that he had somehow missed someone walking in.

You pull his head back to look at you, wanting to ease his insecurities. “You did nothing wrong Yunho, I just need you inside me, now.” You practically beg him, the ache in between your legs growing.

“Baby, I haven’t even prepped you yet.” Yunho tries to reason with you, knowing that it is already a tight fit even when he has prepped you.

“Yunho I don’t care. I can take it. If you are not inside me within the minute I swear I will ban you from playing Valorant for a week after we get home from vacation, and if I catch you playing I will not suck your dick for a month.” You tell him, but before you can blink he has you turned around, with your back now touching his chest and your hands holding on to the concrete edge around you.

He pushes his swimming trunks down just enough to let his cock spring free. He quickly pulls your bottoms to the side, the opening only big enough for him to put his cock inside you. He begins to push inside you, paying attention to the signs you give him.

Although you told him that you could take it, he still worries. You clench around his cock, a moan falling from his mouth. He slowly pushes the rest of his cock inside you until he bottoms out.

You and him stay like this for a little, enjoying the feeling of being full. “Thank you for giving me the courage to do this with you, Yunho,” you tell him while interlocking one of his hands with your’s. His free hand massages your breast, you bite your lip to muffle a moan. The stimulation he was giving you wasn’t any more than usual; the combination of the cold water against your body and with the thrill of being in an entirely new place is ticking you in ways you haven’t been ticked before.

You hadn’t realized that you had zoned out until Yunho pinches your nipple, causing you to yelp, now completely coming out of the trance you had been in before. You could tell Yunho was getting a bit antsy, you could feel his cock throbbing inside you, aching for more stimulation. Deciding to clench around him and grind on his cock to tease him.

He gives a quick kiss to your neck before slowly pulling himself out of you a little just to push himself back in. “Please go faster,” you whimper out. Yunho’s pace quickens, the water beginning to splash you both. You try to muffle your moans, but they end up just coming out as whimpers. Yunho’s cock has always been able to reach depths that you couldn’t get to by yourself, the fullness always there no matter how many times you and him have sex. You can feel the tingly feeling rising in your stomach as Yunho’s thrust gets a bit sloppier, signaling that he is also close.

“Such a pretty baby, so cock drunk that you’re willing to take it in the pool where someone walk in and see you. Is that what you want, people to come in and see you full of my cock?” Yunho whispers into your ear.

“Baby, I’m going to cum soon,” Yunho says, almost whining now that he is close to his release.

“I’m not there yet, almost,” you tell Yunho. He quickly moves his hand to your clit, massaging it at a quick and steady pace. The chillness from the water and the heat from your arousal are quickly aiding you to your orgasm as Yunho works you up with your fingers. Your impending orgasm having arrived quickly.

“I’m so close Yunho so close,” you are practically begging him for release now. Yunho bites your shoulder and pulls himself almost fully out of you, which causes you to whine at the lost contact, but then he thrust fully back into you deeply and quickly, which tips you over the edge. Yunho has also cum, his hand gripping your thigh as he catches his breath into your shoulder. You and him sit against the edge of the pool for a couple of minutes, regaining your previously lost composure.

Yunho pulls back from you to pull his swimming trunks up and you rearrange your bottoms as well. “I think that was some of the best sex we’ve had in a while,” you say to Yunho, to which he nods in agreement, still catching his breath.

The entrance to the pool opens and Jongho walks through the door. “How does the water feel?” Jongho asks the both of you. You and Yunho look at each other, giggling.

“Water feels great Jjong,” Yunho replies before giving you a peck on the lips.

Jongho side eyes you and the taller man, causing you and him to both bust out laughing. “You all are n a s t y” Jongho says, making sure to spell out the last word to enunciate his disgust at the public display of affection.

“Be glad you walked in now and not ten minutes ago” Yunho yells to Jongho, which earns him a kick to the knee. “Ow!” Yunho looks at you for a bit before laughing at you and Jongho’s reaction to his previous comment.

“I’m leaving,” Jongho exclaims before dramatically leaving the pool area. Leaving you and Yunho alone once again.

[drdemonprince]

Can you offer any (academic) writing advice for Autistics and ADHDers? You clearly write a lot and write very well and very clearly, so some insight into your process would be great. Personally, I tend to struggle with over explaining or over citing (cause I am always getting misunderstood) and that I get very fixated on not misrepresenting what my sources are saying to avoid feeling like I'm lying. All this is time consuming and makes it hard to say what I really want to say. Thanks!

Hi there! I've written an essay about a lot of this, here is the free link to read it on Medium:

Much of my writing process is inspired by the book How to Write a Lot by Paul Silvia, and it is specifically tailored to academics. The advice applies to people who write popular nonfiction or fiction just as easily, however. And he does have advice relevant to the self-editing and self-doubt you describe feeling.

The full piece gets into this more, but here are some of the stand-out tips:

Schedule a regular time to write every week and show up no matter whether you are feeling it or not.

Throw out all your magical thinking about what you "need" to be able to write. You don't need the perfect workspace, divine inspiration, the right pen, the right playlist. You just need to show up to write regularly, and do it

Editing, outlining, working with research notes, and drafting all count as "writing." Don't expect your initial drafts to be perfect or to equate writing only with getting new words on the page.

Try writing in public spaces to help get yourself in the mindset of explaining a concept to someone with a different frame of reference and type of expertise than you. Writing in a cafe or a public library can force you think and write in a more accessible way. (alternatively, you can pretend you are explaining the concept to a specific person in your life who you respect but who doesnt have all the same reference points as you -- sometimes this is called the "Grandma Test". Explain something like you are talking to your grandma.)

In addition to all this, I would add that you should read a lot of writing, both good and bad, especially work that isn't dry and academic. If all you read is journal articles, you'll write a journal article -- and most of those are hell to read, even for academics. read fiction. read bad wattsapp shipping. read substacks. read newspapers. read indulgent personal nonfiction in the cut or whatever. read reddit posts. notice what works and what doesn't. develop an ear.

and then write a lot! it took me 15 years to get good enough for anything i wrote to get noticed. you can expect to take many years to get comfortable developing your own voice, too. i dont know how far along you are, but even when you've made tremendous progress you'll only notice your flaws and feel the most turgid brain foggy moments. that doesn't mean you're failing.

also, to some extent you can embrace your citation-dense, precise manner of self-expression. we are living in a moment of maximalism and indulgent, long creative works. it's the decade of the 5 hour youtube essay and the 2 hour album. my 5,000 word essays do better than my 2,000 word ones. you should strip down unnecessary tangents and trust yourself and your reader a little more probably, but ive found that the more blatantly autistic and indulgent my writing gets the more the right people like it. a writer's flaws and their distinctive voice are kinda hard to separate. you're not for everyone!

good luck!

[the-s1lly-corner]

Sleepover w/ the digital circus cast

been a while since ive written this style of post for tadc, but im on my computer again so hopefully writing so much wont be too grating! reminder that i do not currently take requests for the entire cast in one post-

notes: reader is gn, not really romantic, written with the idea that everyone is having a sleepover in the main area of the circus

cws: bugs

caine

does not sleep but he wants to feel included, hes the one providing the games and activities for the night, as well as bedding for everyone to use

pretends to sleep, probably totally incapable of sleeping unlike the circus members... fake snores to try to sell it and make it convincing but all it does is it keeps everyone else awake

the games mentioned are usually an exaggerated and insane version of them- truth or dare but if you lie or refuse a dare you were given you get locked in the cellar/j

oh he definitely would try to get some juicy conversation with you or another circus member- god forbid you show some small sign that youre crushing on someone, hes not going to leave you alone

even worse if he finds out you actually do and who it is

his version of spin the bottle might get a little insane, knowing him.. definitely rigs it lands on whoever you like

pomni

not very interested, but if this takes place post episode 2 shes more inclined to join everyone for the night to get to know everyone better

if you two have grown close she sticks with you during the insane games caine has set out

completely opts out of any games that look way too intense but she probably gets roped into it by some of the others- or simply being swept into the chaos

sleeps off to the corner a bit away from everyone else so she can at least try to get a good nights sleep

if SOMEONE (jax, or even caine) gets too overwhelming or annoying she just gets up and goes to her room... you might be able to coax her back out

ragatha

as mentioned in jax's section, she offers to let you lay next to her if jax is bothering you

if you ask her, she does your hair before you go to bed. brushing through it and if its long enough she ties/braids it up for you

if you have a sleep set- unlikely given that they cant take their clothes off but we can pretend caine snapped his fingers and changed everyones clothing or something- she compliments how it looks.. if its cute or if it looks comfortable

if youre still awake and open to it she talks to you quietly when she cant sleep, its actually a nice change of pace against the chaos of when everyone else was awake

you dont talk about much, you just check in on each other and ramble about nothing in specific... keep it down or caine will come on over and try to insert himself

jax

hes the reason the cw is here, hes going to put bugs in your blankets if you guys arent sharing his room. if the two of you are in your room, or if you guys are in the common area hes going to do it.. or put something else thats unpleasant there..

thinks its funny, knowing him he might actually laugh a little off to the side as you thrash your sleeping bag around

snack hoarder, especially if theres candy- good luck trying to get more than a handful from him, hes not much of a sharer

tries to play everything off when someone offers to let you come lay down next to them for the night- likely ragatha

tells the most grotequse and horrifying stories before everyone else goes to sleep

"first person game mcs dont blink" is said as everyone is trying to unwind or something along those lines

kinger

has the softest and comfiest pillows and blankets, from his fort of course! likely sleeps in it rather than out and exposed on the floor with everyone else

makes it a little larger so you can crawl inside with him- its a lot calmer in here than anything thats happening out there

small talk, you both talk about your interests though due to kingers nature the conversation bounces around a lot

he doesnt participate in the games for the most part, especially if its after a high energy adventure... hes a little drained after the day- physically and mentally

sleeps with at least an arms length of space between the two of you unless you tell him youre comfortable with him being closer

dad snores

zooble

not very interested, probably stays in their room for most of the night if not the entire night

if theyre around when jax is telling scary stories they just roll their eyes... theyve heard worse

zooble being a horror/disturbing media fan headcanon my beloved, they probably try to one up him... though theyre not taking it very seriously. theyre not all that interested in winning, but jax is and hes going to get annoying

if they go out and interact with everyone else, theyll go to their room when theyre ready to sleep. they dont want to sleep on the floor in some sleeping bag.. offers to walk you to your room if the horror talk got to you

gangle

sits in her own corner doing her own thing, you can convince her to join in on the more tame games if you promise to stick with her

sticks around with you after that but like... lingering to the side, not really glued to your side because she doesnt want to invade your personal space or make you feel uncomfortable

very quiet if you offer to let her lay down next to her in the night

its a little less awkward if her comedy mask isnt broken but knowing how fragile it is, its unlikely

refuses to participate in any games like 2 truths 1 lie or truth or dare- she just knows jax is going to hang whatever she says over her head even if hes not the one asking her questions

[twagoes]

my boyfriend rating hugs other men could give me | richie jerimovich x reader

-> want to note that this was written with a male reader in mind and there are words used to describe a man used when describing reader. if you don’t like that…obviously dont read it lmao

cws: age gap relationship (richie is likee 45 and readers age wasnt stated, but i imagine mid 20s), cursing, unserious jealousy and more unseriousness aggressive protectiveness. and yeah, that’s all i can think of rn….

“what are you filming me for?” richie’s gruff voice is loud and booming and he just sounds immediately fed up with whatever you have planned. but he only sounds like that. you know him well enough to know he doesn’t actually care that much about your phone being in his face. he’s gotten a lil used to you always coming up to him for new content for your tiktok account.

“can we film a tiktok?”

“another fucking tiktac, i don’t know what it up with your obsession with that app, but no-“

“i promise it’ll be really funny,” you pout, hugging his arm and he’s already sighing knowing he’s lost the debate. not that he even minds filming one, it’s just, he really doesn’t get it. is he entertaining or something? why are you coming up to him every other week with new content? do you have a lot of followers or something? regardless, then he’d be lying if he didn’t feel a sense of pride whenever you’d ask him to be in one of your videos — as if it’s the highest honor.

he, obviously, doesn’t know you two had recently gone viral and you were making some good cash off of that video.

so to milk the content as well as just wanting to see his genuine reaction, you drag him to the couch and force him to lay down. he gets cozy quickly, sighing and holding his arms open for you to lay in. you take your place by his side and show him your phone screen. it’s already recording.

“alright, say who you are-“

“why do i gotta do that? is this going to people we know? do your followers not already know me?” he asks, looking at you incredulously, “i’m your boyfriend slash fiance slash love of your life slash only man that you know, there’s an introduction. richie, by the way,”

you laugh at his tone and antics, knowing that this video was already going to be good.

“okay, so basically, we are gonna be rating different types of hugs,” he nods in understanding, leaning his head over yours as he stares at the phone that’s filming everything, “so it’s 10 is the worst hug, 1 is the best,”

“okay, sounds simple enough, let’s get it going,” he says, rolling his wrist, as if saying to speed up the process.

“the thing is: you’re rating hugs that other girls or guys would give me,”

that has him lifting his head off of yours and looking down at you, not watching your phone screen anymore.

“babe, what the fuck? no? what the fuck does that even mean?” his chicago accent is thick as he lays on all these questions for you, “why would you even be going around hugging other guys? this sounds stupid,”

“if it’s stupid, let’s just do it quickly then,” you persist, rubbing his scruff with your hand and forcing his face to look back at the camera, “richie, swear it’s only gonna take a couple seconds,”

“nah, you just wanna see me pissed off cause you like that shit,” he smirks, but he’s still seemingly not willing, “why do i have to do this again?”

“because you love me, c’mon, please,” you beg and he’s staring at you unimpressed for a couple of seconds before groaning, rolling his eyes, and making a whole dramatic show of how he doesn’t want to do this. all before cozying back up next to you and letting you put the filter on.

“i swear to god if there’s some dumb ass shit on here, i’m leaving,” he warns, but you don’t take it too seriously as you grin and reposition the camera to have the filter on him. “okay, fine, so one is the worst and ten is the best?”

“no, no, babe, it’s the other way around,” you correct him softly, watching the filter go through all the options above his head.

“wait, that doesn’t make fucking sense?” he says, face screwing up, “wouldn’t it make sense that one is the worst because, it being at the top is, like, top tier worst hug ever, like i’m killing a guy because of it,”

“richie, richie, look it’s already going,”

he grumbles before looking at the screen and squinting when he sees what it’s landed on, reading it slowly, “the fuck is a catcher hug?” he looks at you repeatedly, up and down as if he’s accusing you of something, “you let other guys catch you and hug you? this is what you let happen when i’m not around?”

you break out into laughter at how serious he’s taking it, shaking your head no and urging him to answer, but he’s still interrogating you, “no, no, like actually what the fuck is this? obviously that’s the worst,” you laugh again, knowing that there is arguably worse than that in the filter, “that shit is easily a ten, i don’t care. who the fuck else is gonna catch you besides me? oh right, no one!”

you nod along with him, tapping the slot of ten and waiting for the next one. he leans his head against yours, lips in a tight line as he waits.

“okay, this one is…self hug! okay, this one is good,”

“yeah, i like that one, don’t go hugging other people - you got yourself. put it at one, babe,” he says, kissing the top of your head with a smile. it was funny how quickly his mood changed, “okay, maybe this shit isn’t that bad.”

the filter goes again and you’re surprised to see the more tame options.

“classic hug is a classic hug, nothing’s wrong with it,” he muses, looking at the empty list and easily placing it at 2, “better if there’s no hugging like that self hugging shit, but whatever.”

he taps the slot and waits the next one.

“oh, shit, i like this game, side hug is a solid 3,” he laughs, very happy with how this is going, “but if they’re taller than me, they can suck my balls. no guy taller than me can be side hugging you, it’s basically cheating,”

“baby, no one else is taller than you,” you softly whisper earning a hum of approval from him.

“strangle hug? i like this one too, but it should be you strangling them so they, y’know-” he cuts his hand over his neck in a motion that makes you smack him for being so explicit, but he sees nothing wrong with it, “uh, yeah, that’s the best case scenario. that or i’m doing it for ‘em. i’m gonna put it at 4, just cause it’ll mean they di-“

“alright! richie, relax, next one, oh my god,”

“one armed hug? uhm, huh…i don’t like this one, it’s too comfortable, y’know? i always have my arm around you, it’s kinda like that. it’s weird if someone else does it to you,” he cringes at the idea of it and then taps his finger to seven, “yeah, no that shit is weird and i’m killing whoever does that shit to you,”

“richie, please, you’re not killing anyone,”

“uh, yeah, i’m killing the motherfucker that gives you a one arm hug. the fuck?”

you laugh and hug his waist, eagerly waiting for the next one. and finally, an interesting one came up.

“uh, what the fuck am i looking at, [name]?” his voice raises ever so slightly and he’s looking back and forth between you and the screen, “you hugging other guys — at the waist? what the actual fuck is this?” you laugh at his dramatic question, “no, nothing is funny, what the fuck? ew, why are they posed like that — making all that eye contact and shit. fuck, no, [name], that shit should be a twenty.”

“so, nine?”

“yeah, cause i got no other fucking choice,” he says, in a matter a fact voice.

the next one makes you burst out in laughter, “pick pocket hug? a pick pocket hug?!” he anunciates each word as if its his last, blinking repeatedly at you, “what the fuck, babe? no, that’s an eight! the drawings have their hands inside of each other’s assholes! look!”

“no, they don’t! it’s just, like, on the butt…?”

“oh, so you’re defending this?”

“shut up, i’m just saying, what you said is a little of an exaggeration,”

“no, it’s not, that’s basically butt sex — and you can’t have butt sex with anyone but me!”

”obviously, richie, but it’s just like hypothetically!”

“even hypothetically!” he stubbornly calls out, eyebrows raised in disbelief. ”let’s just get all this shit over and done with, please, i‘m growing gray hairs over this,”

“next is…cuddle…”

“you’re literally just cheating on me, you’re cheating on me,” he accuses you and you know he’s (half) joking and teasing, but with the look in his eyes and tone of his voice, anyone would think he was serious. which is why you’re laughing so hard, “you are fucking cuddling with another man, how the fuck do i make this a ten? this shit is terrible, that’s the worst ever, babe!” you’re still laughing and he’s shaking you back and forth, “where the fuck am i supposed to put that?”

with 5 and 6 being the only ones left, he has to settle for tapping 6 and cursing under his breath the entire time.

“no fucking way you’re ever cuddling with someone else, that’s a sacred thing, y’know? meant for people that are dating — wouldn’t even let you cuddle with cousin, shit is nasty.”

“i know, baby, i wouldn’t cuddle with anyone else but you anyway,” you kiss his cheek before looking back at your screen and waiting to see the last one.

“man, i fucking hate this game,” he groans, seeing he has to now put an eye to eye hug at number 5. “first of all, who the fuck is hugging eye to eye anyway?! second of all, why are you even doing all that?” he’s asking as if you’re actually doing this other people, “looking into their eyes and shit, fucking a little creepy, hello!”

“so you don’t mind it being a five?”

“fuck that shit, that shit is definitely a ten, but well, there’s nothing i can do about it now!” he looks flabbergasted at the whole “dilemma”, running a hand over his short hair, “fucking, what the hell, why are you hugging other guys like that, baby? really? why you gotta have-“

“i’m not actually doing any of this, richie,” you defend yourself, but your boyfriend just mocks your reply with ease, making you smack his chest.

“no, my man isn’t allowed to hug other people, so all of that shit is a hard ten. i’ve changed my mind,” he finalizes, now speaking to the camera. you’re satisfied with that ending, hitting the button to stop the recording and bringing your phone down to your eye level.

“thank you for entertaining me, richie,” you murmur against his skin, now watching over the video and smiling to yourself at the result, “you’re adorable,” you kiss his chest through his hoodie and he just squeezes you tighter.

“most annoying one you’ve asked me to film yet, can’t believe that’s even a thing,” he leans his cheek onto the top of your head and rests there comfortably while you both watch over the video, “hey, you’d never let another guy catch you in a hug, right?”

you laugh, looking up at him and playing with his short stubble, “never, baby, that’s why i got you,”

“damn straight,” he murmurs, leaning down and kissing you softly, “tell all your silly followers that we’re married while you’re at it,”

“they’re not the ones hugging me like that, richie,” you chuckle, but don’t miss a beat in making the caption something adjacent to what he had told you.

“so there’s other people hugging you like that, though?”

“no? oh my god, you’re giving me a headache,”

“and you’ve just broken my heart, so well, fuck both of us then.”

that night your tiktok blew up and a lot of people were commenting over how cute your guys’ relationship is and how entertaining richie is, as well as cutely, aggressively protective. you made it up to him by buying him dinner with the money you had made off of the video, to which he half-heartedly said, “if that shit gets us to eat dinner like this every week, doll, i’ll film all the tiktacs you want,” and he’s sealing that promise with a kiss.

-

“awww, old man richie still gets a lil jealous <333”

“literally the cutest couple ever, i was waiting for you to get him to hop on this trend!!”

“not the death threat over the one arm hug LMAOAO”

“richie does nooott play, swear to god i’ve heard rumors he always stay strapped im ltr deeaaadddd”

[blushingbubbles]

tonight was hard

bodywriting is one of those things that im sooo excited about before i start.

invariably though there's one moment that knocks me down and its really really hard to bring myself up again

why do i keep doing it?? i literally have no idea.

if i do another bodywriting task i will be purchasing childrens water-based markers beforehand. i will also be purchasing cheap lipstick because frankly mine is too expensive to use like a crayon, and "wasting it" (i know its not wasting but please understand what i mean) in a scene just burrows guilt in my gut.

i recently discovered micellar water is great for sharpie removal, so i thought id be okay tonight. thought that if that moment happened i could easily take the offending words off.

but tonight when i was done, i was DONE. hard stop. i wanted everything off. it wasnt one thing. it was all of it.

i wanted to be done. wanted to be clean and cozy and out of play. i was done looking at the degrading words. i was done objectifying myself. and the "done" ness came so quickly i got whiplash.

i couldnt move fast enough. despite the micellar water, the markings weren't coming off, and the words i had written started getting to me. id been looking down at my breast so long that when i met my eyes in the mirror and saw "whore" across my cheeks and "dum cunt" across my forehead, i completely broke down.

tonight, i just needed help cleaning myself off. but when no help came (naturally, because all of you are online) i had to be the one to take care of myself. (and that of course makes sense. i know it makes sense. but having to feel it?? the loneliness?? the fact i couldnt get the words off?? the inadequacy laid plain in the "dum cunt" smeared across my forehead??? pull my teeth out one-by-one before you make me go through that again. god it was fucking awful.)

all of you are online. and ive been perfectly fine and content with that -- from play to aftercare -- until tonight.

tonight was a big blow, and im still working through the feelings. still crying (only because im writing this and reliving). still trying to get the words off. a lot of them are still there.

i wanted to post this for any other subs out there starting to or already in any kind of dynamic like mine. if u feel anything like this it's completely normal. nothing is wrong with you and it's okay. get waterbased markers.

and any new Doms who want to know what's going on in a sub's head??? here you go. if you're playing online one-on-one with your sub, i personally suggest going back through every single word written on their body during aftercare and countering the splinters of objectification that embedded during the scene. (looking back on tonight, i think i wouldve benefitted if someone had told me to slow the fuck down and go one by one over everything. but i was so desperate for it to be over i dont know if i wouldve listened anyway.)

[agaypanic]

reese wilkerson x reader!! where he & reader go to a house party together & she’s wearing a seggzy dress & has a lot of the popular guys hitting on her (she’s popular too) & he gets all jelly & sad & reader makes it up to him & makes him feel better! (smutty or fluffy ending)

Little Black Dress (Reese Wilkerson X Cheerleader!Reader Smut)

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Summary: You go to a homecoming party with Reese, and he gets mopey watching people try to get your attention. You find an empty bathroom and remind him that he’s the only one you have your eyes on.

A/N: i dont think ive ever written a hand/blowjob before so hope this is ok lol

CW: semi public sex (bathroom at a party), oral (m receiving), handjob, lowkey sub!reese and dom!reader

***

“I hate the way they’re all looking at you.” Despite his grumbling being quiet and the house being outrageous, you picked up Reese’s words loud and clear. His fingers played with one of the straps on your dress as he kept you close to his side. “It’s like I’m invisible to them or something.”

Your boyfriend’s moping made you feel bad. After all, you were the one who dragged him to this house party. The school’s football team had just won the homecoming game a few hours ago, and being a cheerleader, you had loads of party invitations. As soon as you came in, you were dragged to different parts of the house to catch up, be complimented, and occasionally hit on by a random tipsy classmate. The whole time, Reese was by your side, and you seemed to be the only one who wasn’t ignoring his presence.

“I’m sorry, baby.” You cooed, cupping Reese’s cheek. He usually didn’t like having soft moments like this in public, but you hoped he wouldn’t mind it right now. “Do you wanna get out of here?”

“No.” Reese shook his head, giving your waist a quick squeeze. It was clear he was lying for your benefit. “No, I don’t want you to miss out on all the fun.” An idea quickly popped into your head, and you couldn’t help but grin at your mischievous thought.

“I could show you some fun.” Reese picked up on your suggestive tone, raising an eyebrow as he looked at you. “If you want.”

It took a quick moment of contemplation before Reese nodded slowly, allowing you to pull him out of the kitchen where the two of you were taking refuge from the chaotic party. Luckily, you had practically been dragged all over the house tonight, so you had a pretty good idea of the layout.

As you pushed through the crowd of dancing and drinking teenagers, some friends and strangers tried to stop you to talk. You simply ignored them and kept walking, squeezing Reese’s hand extra tight to ensure you wouldn’t lose him.

Eventually, you found an empty bathroom at the end of a dark hallway. 

After a quick look around the corridor to see if anyone was watching, you slipped into the room, dragging Reese behind you. You locked the door before turning to your boyfriend, who seemed a bit antsy as to what would happen next.

You quickly took Reese’s face in your hands, smushing your lips against his in a messy but passionate kiss. Pressing yourself against him, you could soon feel the tent in his pants start to rise. You grinned into the kiss before trailing down to suck on the soft spots of Reese’s neck, causing him to groan and shudder while gripping your hips.

“Want me to take care of you, pretty boy?” You whispered against Reese’s hot skin. You felt the vibrations of his hum of affirmation, a hand being settled on his throat and face tucked in the crook of his neck. You grinned, pulling away and sinking down to your knees.

Your movements were slow, making Reese writhe with anticipation as he watched your hands reach up. Soon, his jeans were unbuttoned, unzipped, and tugged down with his boxers just enough to free his pulsing cock. Mouth watering at the sight, you looked up at Reese for another look of confirmation before taking hold of him.

With a featherlight touch, you stroked him slowly, listening to his murmurs of relief. Seeing that he was leaking with precum, you kitten licked the tip of Reese’s dick before opening your mouth wide enough to take him inch by inch.

“Oh, god.” Reese had an iron grip on the bathroom counter he was leaning against. He looked down at you before throwing his head back in pleasure as you bobbed your head. Whatever couldn’t fit in your mouth was stroked by your hand. “Feels so good.”

You moaned at the praise, the vibrations causing Reese to jolt and hit the back of your throat. You gagged, but quickly recovered and continued your ministrations.

Reese’s hips started to move on their own accord, slightly thrusting past your lips. You took your mouth off of him, looking up in faux disappointment and clicking your tongue.

“Be good, Reese.” You warned. Your boyfriend nodded feverishly, wishing for you to continue. Luckily for him, you began sucking his cock again, every little touch driving him closer to the edge.

“Baby, I’m-“Reese cut himself off with a moan, trying to hold himself off a little longer.

“It’s okay, honey.” You said, stroking him swiftly to make up for the lack of your mouth. “Go ahead and come.”

With your words and the warmth of your mouth soon engulfing him again, it wasn’t long before Reese finished with a shudder, fingers gripping the sink even harder than before. You swallowed every last drop he gave you, lips parting from his softening cock with a lewd pop sound.

Above you, Reese’s stiff figure started to relax, sighing in slight exhaustion. You smiled at the reaction, rising to your feet. While your boyfriend recovered from his climax, you looked over his shoulder into the mirror, fixing your now slightly smudged lipstick with your finger. When you looked back at Reese, he was already looking at you with hungry eyes.

“Wanna get out of here?” You asked with a smirk. Quickly, Reese shoved himself back into his boxers and zipped up his pants, running a hand through his hair before pulling you out of the bathroom while you giggled at his reaction.

***

Malcolm in the Middle Taglist: @rattilol

Reese Wilkerson Taglist: @hollymaybank @theogirlovermattheogirl

[niftukkun]

fanart for a scene in @nerdydowntherabbithole 's Taking Life As Is on AO3 !! a scene early on in the fanfic that sounded so cool it gripped me with inspiration, where a vulture swoops down and gets fucking got by a leviathan while our dear protagonists look on in horror of the beautiful brutality of mother nature happening right in front of them! dont you love it when you leave your rotting corpse behind and immediately get hit with the existential horror of almost dying and the primal fear of seeing something that much bigger than you and realising your fragility when you were once a godlike being above such lowly thoughts and struggles? anyway.

some details and thoughts !! :

-just before this scene, sugar (survivor's name in this fic) hunted and ate a salamander, so i included it in this here drawin too !! hell yeah esoteric fic-accurate details -(pro tip for any artists out there; if you want to push something into the background, gradient overlays are your friend. also, dont forget to check your values. outline your characters if they aren't popping out of the background enough) -in other, not fic-accurate detail,, moon's dress and marks. i think in the fic, moon's dress is more like,, an actual dress with sleeves and such. but also like, i do what i want and i want something thats barely a dress so i can show off my anatomy/mechanical bits art skills. i dont care if its not canon compliant im calling rule of cool -whoops i forgor the wires uhh shit nevermind it would cover the cool bits anyway whatever -also, while i am proud of the vulture and leviathan, they both used reference. like, i sketched them out yeah, but also the sketch was mostly done by staring at a reference the whole time and overlaying it on the canvas as needed when the drawing looked a little too off. so if you look at this and think 'aw man this guys too good at drawing i could never draw a vulture/leviathan/background/whateverthefuck like that' youre wrong. use references and get better at art by referencing references -shoutout to the miraheze wiki btw for supplying most of my references for this. fandom wiki could never

this fic holds a special place in my heart. like, i dont agree with it on a lot of things (how the cycle works, time between slugcat campaigns, how rot works, etc), but its very internally consistent and i like how all the characters are written. i really do like how, despite all the bickering, the iterators really do care for each other and love each other. i like that the blame isn't pushed just to pebbles, the acknowledgement of there being a lot of nuance and complications in the whole situation. i like the worldbuilding, nsh's wetland-esque biome, srs's gleaming glass beaches, the different interesting fauna/flora, slugcat society worldbuilding, the fucking trains hell yes trains.

most of all though, i love the authors dedication to getting a happy ending. no one left behind. all the iterators in the local group are getting freed (except for innocence but thats a different thing) all the slugcats are alive and doing well (even artificer's kids!!). and even though the fic throws the characters around, bad things happen, steps backward are taken,,, there is almost a palatable message that no matter what, things will be okay. artificer did bad and its acknowledged with visible consequences (scavenger temple route, which mightve made things so much easier on the route to nsh) but she still gets her kids back. hunter had her rot cured and even got some sick new upgrades but still struggles with overexertion and moments of weakness. both pebbles and moon have ptsd from the rot and the rain respectively and its handled reasonably well, not even mentioning the survivors guilt and learned helplessness on nsh and the whole,, guilt from causing this whole fiasco and the feeling of it being all their fault from srs,,,, , ,,,

i dont know. i just really like how dedicated the fic is to showing the realistic consequences of the unforgiving and brutal world of rain world and weaving it into a story of forgiveness and freedom. there are struggles but the heroes will still win and get to go home happy. its cathartic. i love it a lot.