#i DO actually want to write a creature stan au at some point

[candycatfalls]

I don't plan to write it, but I love the idea of an AU where stan gets turned into a vampire, and he's like well this sucks and drinking blood sucks but sure, this might as well happen. And then Ford finds out and is like "well it could be worse, at least human blood tastes pretty good :)" and stan is like what the fuck did you just say to me

[stupidlittlespirit]

OKAY BUT SCP FOUNDATION FORD. I feel like young Ford would be absolutely GIDDY to join an organization that he thinks shares his world views and mission- scientifically classifying and studying anomalies. But he would absolutely get fired for being WAY too fucking weird about like everything. He gets too personally invested and obsessed for their liking imo.

I can also see young Ford being weird about anomalous people, who he'd identify with. That's like a thesis in itself, really.

Either way, Ford would get fired and then have a lifelong grudge against them lol

Old Ford would get fired for his general "I know more than you" vibe and be convinced that they fired him out of insecurity.

Dying to hear what head cannons you have for SCP Foundation and Ford 💞

Okay so I have spent way too long thinking about this because I actually wanted to write a fic about it and I’m very devoted to the whole concept in general, so this all applies to the Ford-SCP AU I have in my brain.

I’m so fond of the series. I was often on /x/ as a kid (not the rest of 4chan because, duh) and I would spend hours on it, reading up on greentexts and believing every single fucking word. I desperately wanted to work for the shadowy American governmental orgs that kept these creatures in containment/a secret, and I was devastated when I grew up and found out that they weren’t real. (A part of me holds out hope that they are a real organisation but if America was covering shit up, we’d know because they fucking suck at keeping stuff on the DL).  

Anyway, let’s get into it, and remember that I’m playing fast and loose with everything SCP related because everything is canon and therefore nothing is canon! 

Below is everything from my AU ideas to Ford’s behaviour to fucking SCP/Ford ships because fuck it why not:

I think you’re right: young, starry eyed Ford would be psyched to get to see that kind of thing, but I do think that he’d be too focused on carving out his own path to allow himself to get wrapped up in the government’s red tape. It would be something he enthusiastically pencils into his diary and intends to follow up on, but never does because of how things unfold. 

Post-Portal Ford, however, is going to be The Guy for them. His personal intellect is attractive enough, but Ford has a lot of stuff going for him on top: he’s travelled interdimensionally, he’s spent time in places that would get even 05 Council Members to sit up and take notes, he’s had talks with beings that the Foundation would give their child’s left kidney to be privy to (not that they wouldn’t sell their kid for a bag of magic beans anyway but whatever) and he’s got more than enough knowledge to hit the ground running with minimal (perceived) liability for them. I mean, Bill alone has to be a Keter / Apollyon type object, surely? World ending scenario and all that. 

I think he would still be very personally invested and enthusiastic at that age, too. He would do better at trying to be aware of himself because he’s more conscious of being taken advantage of, but he wouldn’t be able to help himself when it came to just being a total nerd about it all. 

How does Ford get picked up by the Foundation?

He’d be recruited thanks to his extensive publishing on the weird and wonderful stuff within Gravity Falls (which at some point is also catergorised by the Foundation themselves) and his travels with Stan, and he would be head hunted to work for the Foundation. 

And he’d say no at first, because he’s not going to work for the government, what are you, insane?! He would want nothing to do with them, and Stan, equally, would be wary of them because nothing good ever comes from the Feds, right?  But the Foundation would be persistent and they’d give Ford appetising incentives (funding, support, tools etc) for his own research, so he’d eventually give them an inch because he'd grow to wonder what they might have on offer and they’d then introduce themselves. 

Ford would be wary but as we all know, he’s a curious cat and it doesn’t matter how many times he gets run over, he still wants to know what’s on the other side of the road even if it means weaving between cars with a blindfold on. 

Ford is obviously going to have a vested interest in the anomalies because of his own abnormalities, however I do think he’d be laughed at for even considering himself a ‘freak’ because… well…. Take a look at the guys we’re dealing with here and then say ‘having six fingers makes you weird’ with a straight face. 

Doesn’t mean he wouldn’t be empathised with by some of them, even by some of the staff, but some of the beings in the SCP universe are so extreme that having six fingers is an easily-overlookable trait. I mean, the reactions would range from “okay, and….?” to “good lord, get a grip, there are real problems out there in the world, man!” to “oh my god that’s cool, he’s just like me fr”. 

Ford would quickly learn that whatever research he’s done/is doing is really nothing in comparison to what the Foundation does. Not that his work is of less value or anything, just that the Foundation is so large and the breadth and scale of their work would be unbelievable to him. He’d still think he knew best in a lot of ways but he’d be willing to listen and learn from the researchers and scientists that he did admire.

However, Ford would definitely manage to piss off every other person on the site he gets contracted to LMAO. Except the scientists he respected, though perhaps even them sometimes. Oh, and the nicer/less serious D-Class personnel, because they’d often remind him of Stanley and he’d be rather grossed out by the process of sacrificing those lesser prisoners to creatures in the name of governmental gain, so he would make an effort to be patient with them where he can. 

Not to mention that he’d kick AWF if he found out how loosey goosey the regulations are around picking prisoners for testing…. We know the Foundation has a habit of taking anyone with a life sentence/death row conviction, but we also know that not every convict is guilty. On top of that, we know they’ll take literally anyone if they really need to get some tests done and they don’t really give a fuck what the D-Class has done. I mean, they’ll take civilians too, so. I don’t think Ford would be okay with that. 

If they’re actually just awful people then he’s not likely going to care as much of course, but sometimes I read/listen to reports with D-Class in them that have just sold drugs or something, and the researcher’s are like yeah fuck it put weed-dealer Greg in the box with the mutated crocodile made out of poisonous spikes and shake it really hard, it’ll be funny! I think that would upset Ford and he wouldn’t be afraid to kick off about it (after all, any of those D’s could have been his brother at one point, right?) 

Staff members:

In terms of working with specific staff members, he’s obviously not going to have much to do with MTF or even any of the agents etc, really. Not unless he would require specific information from them during a test or something. There could be crossover if he was to get pissed off at how poorly executed a field expedition went or something, but I expect that his main area of interaction would revolve around Researchers and Objects themselves. 

Let’s talk about my beloved Dr Bright. I think Ford would have a careful appreciation for Bright. As we know, Bright is a bit nuts. He’s very eccentric and volatile, but very intelligent and good at his job as well as being personally afflicted, what with his brother’s objecti-fication within the facility. Ford would recognise Bright’s appreciation for suicide (bless him, real recognises real) given all of his own personal issues and understand why Bright might be so difficult.  

I do, however, think Ford would also be exceptionally wary of Dr Bright, given the way he’s bound to SCP-963. If you don’t know, 963 is a medallion/necklace and if you wear it you’re immortal. However, it’s tied to Bright and if another person wears it, their mind is basically wiped and replaced with Dr Bright’s. So, it would be very close to possession and for Ford, that would be very triggering, I think. Ford would be amenable with Bright and even appreciative of his work, but he’d be too nervous about 963, even if the likelihood of him being made to wear it was low. 

Next up is another fav: Dr Alto Clef. Now, I think Ford would have a love-hate relationship with Clef. 

Clef is reeeeally smart and very talented. He’s also very eccentric and weird, and is also anomalous himself, so Ford can get behind that. But Clef is also a fucking nightmare. He lies and is gross and unethical (was an awful misogynist, but possibly isn’t anymore? Hard to know for sure because there’s a LOT of information out there and no hard canon), though I don’t think he’s an irredeemable guy. Most notably, Clef has what he refers to as a ‘deformity’. He underwent anomalous alterations that prevent his face from being photographed and gave him resistance to reality shifts. Clef is described in files but you just can’t ever see a photograph of his face.   

Though I think Ford would tire of Clef quite quickly, he’d be willing to give Clef more rope than Bright. I think Clef has a tendency to be kind of jammy and very funny, so I daresay Ford might be fonder of him than he’d let on and he wouldn’t feel as uncomfortable around him as he might with Bright’s 963 issue. Clef is also aroace! Yay!

Clef lies a lot though, so he might be more inclined to kick it with Stan than with Ford in terms of down time lol 

Onto Everett Mann. Dr Mann is said to have always felt like an outcast and he was also manipulated by an entity (Mr Lie) into doing something that put others at significant risk. I think he and Ford would have a kinship with that and they’d be friends. Technically, Clef killed Mann in one AU but whatever. No big deal. I think Mann is really funny and sweet, and he’d get on quite well with Ford. 

Honourable mentions for: 

Dr Elliott - known to be a too involved in the anomalies she works on and often gets fucked up by them because of it.  

Dr Glass, because obviously. We love Dr Glass in this house! I think Ford would always be wary around a psych professional but he’d be thrilled to hear about other SCP’s and understand their ways of thinking. I think Glass would also have a field day with Ford and he’d fill up at least 4 notebooks worth of psych-eval notes on him :) 

And there are more but there are SO many more that I can’t get all of them down here or I’ll be sitting at my PC forever. 

In terms of the actual anomalies that Ford becomes fond of:

Well, we have to start off with my absolute all-time favourite: SCP-507.

I highly recommend checking out Volgun’s video on him because it’s great. Frankly, all of Volgun’s videos are great if you’re interested in learning about SCP’s in a lore accurate way. 

SCP 507 is Ford’s special little guy. Ford LOVES him. Do I ship them? Kinda. That’s my business okay don’t judge me. 

In fact, I believe Ford likes him so strongly that I think when 507 requests a hug from personnel, following a traumatic shift, Ford is the one who grants it to him. I don’t care if the timelines don’t match up, I don’t care about anything that makes that impossible. I want 507 to get a hug and I think Ford gives great hugs. Ford would even volunteer to be his escort if he had the time to spare and I think he’d let 507 hang out in his lab sometimes. 

507 has always broken my heart because he’s so scared and so alone, and they won’t let him leave or really do much of anything. He really has nobody and he has 0 control over everything in his life, and I think that would resonate with Ford a lot. 

He’d be highly interested in SCP-2700 because it’s made by his All Time Fav hot scientist Nikola Tesla. While 2700 isn’t humanoid, I think Ford would be super geeked about it solely because it’s Tesla based haha.

I think Ford would also love SCP-1762 (aka ‘Where the dragons went’), too. I find 1762 to be a really sad story and I think others agree, and Ford would enjoy them. They’re cool (origami dragons fuck yeah) and cute, but also poignant. 

He’d be naturally curious about SCP-096 but obviously, due to its nature, would have to give up the ghost on that one. 

I think Stan would like SCP-1472 aka the Multiverse Strip Club. Naturally. He’d be at risk of wandering in but, respectfully, he ain’t going to Illinois. Not for all the strippers in the world. 

Like Researchers and other personnel, there are SO many SCP’s that I can’t even remember all of the ones I think would be most relevant/enjoyable for Ford so if you have something you think he’d like then please please hit me up because I’d love to talk about it with you!! 

Ultimately, I think Ford would do some great work and make friends with some of the more pleasant scientists, and he would really enjoy himself up until he stopped enjoying himself lol. I think he’d quickly realise how controlling the Foundation is and how they refuse to let anomalies be known to the public, rightly or wrongly, and Ford would refuse to play along with them. 

He’d be vocal about his disagreement with the treatment of some anomalies and with regard to the treatment of personnel, and he’d stand strongly against any corruption, which means he’d never see eye to eye with them. Many such cases, if you take the time to read the entries. 

So, they’d fire him or he’d walk out. You’d never know for sure because Ford would insist he left of his own accord and the Foundation would insist that they [REDACTED] so… It would be a mystery. 

And the Foundation would let him leave, by the way. Their knee jerk reaction would be to terminate him, of course, but he’d leave such an impression on some of the other scientists that they’d somehow manage to convince their higher-ups that Ford offered value that would be lost upon his death, so they should let him live and just try to monitor him instead. 

Ford, being Ford, would sniff out all the monitors every single time they tried to trace him and Stan (with his great knowledge of wire taps) would help him debug their house etc if they needed to. 

Eventually, the Foundation would say fuck it, this guy is annoying as fuck, and let Ford deal with his own containment specialisms while keeping a distant eye on him/Gravity Falls at large. 

….Can you tell this has been on my mind for a while? LMAO I’m so sorry this answer got sooooo out of hand but I love GF and SCP so much that I can’t help myself. I hope that as I get better at drawing I can make some crossover art for them because it would be too cute. Plus, like I said, I’m still considering writing this. I might make a reader one but also do a gen crossover because I think it would be a riot. 

If anyone else wants to make stuff on this then please do but pleeeeease tag me because I need to inject it straight into my veins. 

[stripedtabbycat]

my takes on various popular gravity falls fandom aus, as someone who was around for pretty much all of them:

monster falls: i was always fond of this one because it did indeed produce a lot of cool art, and the idea of aus where characters are all various supernatural creatures instead of humans just always had a certain appeal to my younger self because i was always into fantasy settings with a wide variety of sapient species, and it was just fun to imagine how things would work if that extended to the ordinary townspeople of gravity falls along with all their existing supernatural creatures. however when i tried looking into this au a bit more i was admittedly a little disappointed by what the established "canon" of the setting was, which is why i think a lot of people preferred it as more of a genre of fanart than a specific setting with rules and lore and stuff. i wasn't that interested in a story where everyone in gravity falls turns into creatures one day because of a magic spring or whatever it was, but i liked the version of the background for this one that i came up with in my own head more. i was imagining an au where gravity falls is a town inhabited by various sapient supernatural creatures as part of its natural weirdness, and the pines family has some kind of hereditary curse or something where they turn into creatures at some point in their lives, like maybe around their 12th or 13th birthday, and dipper and mabel have just had it happen to them, which is why they're going to stay with the last person in their family who went through it for the summer at least. (it skips generations; their parents and grandpa shermie might have thought they'd broken it, but no.) this would be a very different version of the canon setting in a lot of ways and you could do some fun stuff with it. i also remember the au almost always having dipper as a deer-centaur and mabel as a mermaid, but by now i prefer the versions where she's a unicorn-centaur, because they match while not being exactly the same, and it fits mabel's canon love of unicorns. i could write my own fic about this someday, i really enjoyed imagining in that space.

reverse falls: this was everywhere in the earlier days of the show and fandom but it had definitely run its course by the time we were into season 2. you can tell most stuff for this au was made during season 1 because of gideon and pacifica being thought of as the main villains, and bill being portrayed as maybe a bit more plausibly sad and downtrodden. (we must remember he was only in one episode of season 1 and it wasn't even the finale, although it did lead directly into that, so he seemed maybe not that powerful yet.) you can also tell a lot of this was made by younger fans because of the charming brand of edginess it tends to display. (the designs for the twins in this au also seem like they're intended to be a few years older...while i do feel like a lot of their characterization was established by fans who were closer to those characters' ages at the time.) sometimes it didn't really feel like that much thought was put into the characters or story in this verse beyond "what if good characters evil and evil characters good? and most importantly what if good characters evil in a cool and sexy [to 12-year-olds. i hope] way?? and what if evil characters good in a sympathetic woobified angsty way??" i definitely get why a lot of people kind of hated this one especially if they were around when it was inescapable in fanart. it does make me want to start drawing out what my ideal "reverse" au would look like based on everything we have in canon now, because i think the idea of a dipper and mabel / gideon and pacifica roleswap is actually a lot of fun and has potential that most creators in its heyday weren't really considering. (basic concept ideas: stan makes a deal with bill after ford is lost to the portal for success and wealth and getting his brother back in exchange for fixing the portal, the mystery shack becomes the most successful business in town and more famous than in canon, at some point the northwests' fraudulence about being the town founders is exposed and they fall from grace while maybe mcgucket moves into their former manor after regaining his memory earlier, by the time dipper and mabel come to town they're the beloved heirs of mr. mystery while gideon and pacifica are just normal kids living in town, they find the second journal at the beginning of summer and things proceed from there, also bill is just hanging around the shack with his own mysterious motives and willing to cut a deal with anyone who needs it...)

transcendence: i did try to get into this one because i followed a number of people who wrote for it but as hana hyperfixates said in their video on the subject (of aus), there is a lot and it can be intimidating. i think the concept behind it is really solid though and i'm impressed by how much it feels like a deliberate alternate ending for the canon series finale despite first being conceptualized way before that (before ford was introduced, even!) gf fans do like drawing and writing about characters as demons and the idea of gravity falls' weirdness spreading to the rest of the world (again, pretty much the canon intended outcome of weirdmageddon!) is a great concept for an au that travels far into time and space like this one does. i like that most content i've seen for it treats this event less like an apocalypse and more just like - magic and fantastical creatures are now known to everybody, the world is different now, how do we proceed? at least that's the version i like. i didn't know that most of the works for this au focused specifically on the reincarnation aspects so that's an interesting dimension, but i don't know if that's what i would find the most compelling part of the setting if i was writing for it. also i do love how dipper and mabel's demon names, alcor and mizar, were basically handed to fandom on a silver platter. they're literally twin stars that already exist, in the big dipper constellation, and their names even sound kind of like plausible archaic demon names [they're actually both from arabic though], and one of them starts with m. it's perfect.

relativity falls: this one might be my favorite. it's a very simple roleswap concept but it has produced some of the most delightful fanworks i've seen in the fandom. we were 100% right to latch on hard to the idea of grauntie mabel and i love that everyone knew exactly what kind of cool old lady she would be. oddly enough though you don't see nearly enough fanart of grunkle dipper and i wonder if that's because people figured he'd kind of just be canon ford, without much else changing about his role in the story. or it could be that this was also largely conceptualized before ford was properly introduced or we knew what his dynamic with the other characters would be so you'll see a lot of stuff where the stans' names are unintentionally switched. but i don't think that's true for this one because i'm pretty sure it really took off after "a tale of two stans" aired. most works for it seem to be set in the same general timeline as the show just with the characters' ages changed, but i did see a great concept for it taking place in the stans' canonical 60s childhood with dipper and mabel growing up in the 1910s, which i loved. all the various takes on how the events of the show would play out in this au are also great. i love it. no notes

mystery trio: well, this one kind of retroactively gained obligatory au status after canon completely jettisoned any possibility of it having happened...but it was a fun time seeing the stories and art people would create for that specific dynamic, even if a lot of it now has a confusing name problem when it comes to the stans. (and if by necessity most of ford's - or "stanley"'s - characterization had to be invented, but i think they got him pretty accurately.) and with all the aus people are still creating, and the existence of a canon multiverse, we can still find ways to make it happen. we wanted fiddleford to have interacted with stan at any point. please. it could have happened. (i can spin something out of what i noticed last rewatch, in that stan, along with the twins, is one of the few people not laughing at mcgucket when he first runs in yelling about the gobblewonker in episode 2...)

then there are all the aus where different characters go through the portal or go back in time and various roles are shuffled around and there are a dozen different variations on one au that kind of started out as a fanfic concept, many of which i'm less familiar with. but i do want to read some more classic fanfics now. because there are some great ideas with things like the various timestuck aus, blind faith, drifting stars, grifting stars, the various portal swaps...i feel like in recent years there's been a surge of au ideas focused on the stans in different configurations and they're all super interesting. this fandom is endlessly creative and it will never die.

[vxlkyrie]

letters to you

pairing: spencer reid x reader

genre: angst, fluff, friends to lovers!au

warning: cursing, mentions of alcohol

word count: 7.0k

summary: uh oh, spencer wasn’t supposed to see those

a/n: maeve didn’t die nor have a stalker and we stan her and anderson in this household. also i broke my own heart writing this :) enjoy! (also i hate that some of the text isn’t italicized on mobile i want to cry)

“hey y/n, whatchu writing in your diary?” derek smirked as walked through the office.

“none of your business. and it’s not a diary, it’s a journal.” you rolled your eyes as you continued writing.

“and what do you write in your so-called journal?”

“whatever i want. usually thoughts i have when i’m finished with a case.” you shrugged.

“so basically a diary,” he laughed, leaning on your desk. “can i see what you’ve been writing?” he tried to lean over your notebook. your eyes widened.

“no!” you shouted as you slammed your notebook shut, making derek jump up a little. “s-sorry morgan. it’s just that it’s very personal.”

“don’t worry about it. i understand.” he smiled at you, kissing your forehead before going back to his desk.

it’s true that you use your journal to write down your feelings. you weren’t that open on talking about your feelings, so you took an unused notebook and filled up the pages with your rants, whether it was about stressing over a case or having to deal with your bitchy landlord. but you also use that journal to write down your feelings towards a certain boy genius (who actually suggested that you should write down your thoughts in a journal).

you weren’t sure when you started seeing spencer, your best friend, in a different light. maybe it was when he would bring you coffee and a muffin practically everyday. maybe it was when you started to find his fact dumps endearing. maybe it’s when he would cuddle you when you two would have movie nights together.

whatever the exact moment was that made you fall in love with him, you weren’t ready to tell him about your feelings. so, shortly after starting your notebook, you started writing down “love letters” that were addressed to him. you found yourself writing out confessions, moments where you found spencer being adorable, even dates you would have if you two were together (all the cheesy stuff).

dear spencer,

i love you – as more than just a friend.

yes, you are my best friend. you are always there for me when i need someone to get me energized when i didn’t get enough sleep the night before. you are always there for me when i need to tell someone about a shitty date. you are always there for me when i just need a hug after finishing a week-long case. and before i knew it, i found myself falling in love with you.

i wish that i can just tell you how i feel in person, but you know that i’m not that good with expressing my feelings verbally, so i decided to write them down instead. even then, this page isn’t enough to explain what i love about you and how much i love you.

love, y/n

dear spencer,

there are so many times where i just find you cute.

your eyes lighting up after you found out that doctor who is being renewed for another season. your smile after everyone complimented your new haircut. even your little dance after i bought you half a dozen of your favorite donuts.

i could go on forever and list every moment i have found you adorable. my heart starts beating faster just by the sight of seeing you be happy. i know you’ve been through a lot, and you deserve happiness. i hope that someday i can give you that.

love, y/n

dear spencer,

i might not be the most romantic person, but i can’t help but daydream about the cute and cheesy dates we would have.

we could go to the aquarium and you can tell me everything you know about every creature we see. we could visit the art museum and we could point out the small details in each piece. we could even go to the smithsonian!

but we could also go on small cafe dates. maybe go to the bookstore and you could recommend me your favorites (i’ve been trying to read more). we could even just have a night in and have dinner and cuddle while we watch true crime shows and point out their mistakes and make our own profiles.

now that i think about, being with you would be the same as we are now, just with handholding and kissing.

love, y/n

did writing them down help with your feelings? yes.

were you ever going to send him those letters? absolutely fucking not.

“hey y/n!” a voice called. you looked up to see spencer smiling at you from his desk.

“hey spence, what’s up?”

“i’m almost done with my paperwork, wanna grab dinner after? i’m buying.” he asked. your eyes lit up.

“yeah, sure!” you smiled back.

“great! just give me like 15 more minutes.” he said. you nodded, finishing the last file before handing it in to hotch.

-

“oh my god, this food is amazing!” you exclaimed, taking a bite of your dish as spencer chuckled at you. “have some.” you gestured at your food. spencer smiled at you as he grabbed a fork full and placed it in his mouth.

“wow, that is delicious.” he nodded in approval.

“i know right!” you smiled.

“anyways, there’s something i wanted to tell you, y/n.” spencer said. your eyes immediately widened.

does he like me and he’s finally going to confess?

does he know that i like him and he’s trying to let me down easily?

or is it something completely unrelated?

your heart raced as millions of scenarios that could possibly happen at this moment played in your head.

“of course. you know you can tell me anything.” you reassured, grinning at him.

“i know,” he grinned back. “you know that one girl, maeve?”

“that geneticist you’ve been talking to for your migraines? yeah, what about her?” you raised an eyebrow.

“i finally had the guts to ask her out – and she said yes!” he smiled.

oh.

you felt your heart shatter into a million pieces. you wanted to just get up and run and never talk to him again, but you couldn’t. you knew that he deserved to be happy – even if it wasn’t with you.

“you didn’t tell me you like her!” you happily exclaimed, putting on a facade.

“i’m sorry! we were so caught up with work and i didn’t even know if her and i would even work out. and if morgan ever found out, he wouldn’t let me hear the end of it.” spencer rambled on.

“is that why you’ve been acting weird and leaving at the most random times?” you raised a teasing eyebrow at him.

“so if our unsub killed our victims here, here, and here,” spencer said as he dotted the map on the board with a marker. “then he could live anywhere around here” he finished as he draw a circle that connected the dots.

“do you think he would live in the middle?” you asked. 

before he could answer, spencer’s phone suddenly started ringing, causing the tall man to reach into his pocket to check who was calling. you peeked over to see a random number display across his screen.

“excuse me.” he said as he quickly left the room.

that’s weird. he never answers calls if it’s not from anyone on the team.

“what’s that about?” emily asked. you shrugged in response.

a few minutes later, spencer returned to the room with a big smile on his face.

“who called?” you asked him. spencer had a panicked look on his face shortly before he switched to a more calm manner.

“oh, my mom.” he lied, which no one seemed to notice.

“yeah,” he shyly nodded. “i’ve been calling her for the past few weeks.”

“that’s great spence! i’m so happy for you!” you smiled widely.

“thank you, y/n. it really means a lot coming from you.” he said, gently grabbing your hand.

please don’t do that. please don’t break my heart into even more pieces.

you slowly pulled your hand away from him, earning a slightly confused expression from spencer.

“so, tell me more about maeve.” you said, making sure he can’t read through you.

“well...”

spencer continued talking as you silently listened and ate the rest of your food (although your appetite has been ruined), talking about maeve’s incredible work in her field and her favorite books. you tried your best to keep your happiest expression on as you hear your best friend (and crush) gush over someone else.

wow, she’s perfect for him.

“she sounds amazing, spence.” you tried your best to smile at him.

as soon as you got back to your place, you finally let the tears flow out of your eyes , sliding down your front door. your body trembled as loud sobs left your mouth, even the hand that was placed over it couldn’t muffle the sounds of your cries and breaking heart.

when you find yourself calming down, you walked into your room and changed into your pajamas as you tried to catch your breath. you unpacked your work bag at your desk. as soon as you took out your journal, you immediately turned to the pages that contained your unsent confessions.

of course he doesn’t like you, stupid. he never did.

you ripped the letters from the spine of your notebook and threw them onto your desk. ignoring the mess you just created, you walked to your bed to get some shut-eye as you let more tears run down your face.

-

you couldn’t let yourself be sad anymore. you had to walk back into work the next day with a smile on your face, making sure none of your coworkers could tell that you were breaking. you let yourself get distracted with cases and paperwork, and even continued talking to spencer like you normally would (because he would definitely notice something was up if you had suddenly stopped). over the next few weeks, you find yourself actually befriending maeve.

“hey spence!” an unfamiliar, yet honey-like voiced called out, causing everyone to turn away from their work. you looked up to see a woman with dark auburn hair carrying a brown paper bag as she walked towards spencer’s desk.

wow, she’s really pretty.

“hey, maeve.” he smiled, placing a kiss on her cheek.

“spencer, how come you didn’t tell us you had a girlfriend?” derek smirked at him.

“we just started dating. everyone, this is maeve.” spencer introduced to the team. everyone said their quick hello’s while you got up from your seat and walked up to the couple.

“so you’re the girl my best friend has been talking to,” you genuinely smiled at her. “hi, i’m y/n.” you said, offering your hand to her.

“it’s nice to meet you! i’ve heard so much about you!” she smiled back at you as she reached out to shake your hand. you raised your eyebrows in surprise.

fuck, and she’s really nice too.

sometimes, maeve would come visit the bau and eat lunch with you and spencer.

“on my way here, i saw that this one clothing store was having a sale.” maeve said as she took a bite out of her lunch.

“oh i saw that!” you exclaimed. “i heard that they were closing, so they decided to have a huge sale. it’s sad to see them go.”

“we should stop by sometime! i think i saw a really cute dress that i wanted to try out.” maeve suggested to you.

honestly, you didn’t feel like a third wheel. it actually feels good to be getting along with spencer’s girlfriend.

“that sounds like fun.” spencer chirped.

“shhh, babe, the girls are talking,” maeve joked as he pouted, causing you to laugh. “i’m kidding! you can come along if you want.” she grabbed his hand as he gave her literal heart eyes.

you felt your heart sting a little.

you would talk to maeve when spencer would bring her over to a family dinner at rossi’s.

“he did what now?” maeve’s jaw dropped in excitement as you told her a story about her boyfriend.

“y/n, don’t tell her, please.” spencer pleaded.

“no, y/n, tell me.” maeve encouraged.

“yeah, y/n, tell her.” derek joined in, placing his head on his hand as he leaned in to listen.

“fine,” you sighed. “spencer wanted to show me how great he is at nunchucks. it was going pretty well, until he accidentally hit his...well, his man parts.” you explained. maeve bursted out laughing along with the others.

“hey!” spencer pouted as he nudged your shoulder with his.

“i’m sorry, it was funny.” you giggled as he ruffled your hair.

“well, now i know what to not get you for your birthday.” maeve smiled. spencer laughed, giving her a kiss on the lips.

you tried your best to not grimace.

you even invited her for a girls’ night out with the rest of the bau ladies.

“thank you for inviting me!” maeve said, giving you a hug.

“oh it’s nothing. you’re dating spencer, so that means you’re a part of our family now.” emily grinned at her.

“and you look amazing. i see that you’re wearing that dress you bought when we went shopping together.” you added.

“you’ve noticed! and thank you for convincing me to buy it, i love it so much.” maeve smiled.

“we’re back with drinks!” penelope yelled as she and jj walked back with a tray full of alcohol. “oh my god, maeve, you’re here!” she smiled at her.

“i am.” maeve laughed.

“oh my god, i forgot to get you a drink! i’m so sorry, i didn’t know what to get you.” penelope practically cried.

“that’s fine, i can go grab something real quick.” maeve stood up from her seat.

“i’ll come with you. i’ll pay for the drink!” penelope said as she followed her back to the bar.

you, emily, and jj took a sip of your drinks.

“so, y/n,” emily started, causing you to turn your head towards her in confusion. “are you okay with all of this?”

“all of what?” you furrowed your eyebrows.

“maeve and spencer dating.” she answered. your eyes slightly widened.

“yeah, i’m okay with it. why wouldn’t i be okay with it?”

“because we know you’re in love with spencer.” jj said. you almost choke on your drink.

“i’m not!” you immediately denied. “he’s my best friend.”

“y/n, you might not be that open with your feelings, but we can tell that you like spencer and that him dating someone else is hurting you.” jj explained, putting a gentle hand on your shoulder. 

“and we might’ve read your journal.” emily muttered. you sighed.

“yes, i do like him, but i can’t do anything about it. he looks so happy lately and maeve is such a sweet girl. they’re perfect for each other and i don’t want to ruin that for them.” you shrugged as the girls looked at you with sympathy.

“okay, we’re back!” penelope yelled, causing you three to put on a happy mask. “let’s get this party started!” she added as the rest of you cheered and danced the night away.

despite the random times your heart would hurt after seeing spencer and maeve showing affection, you were genuinely happy for him.

“hey y/n,” spencer called out to you from his desk, causing you to look up from your files. “why are you still single?” he asked bluntly, causing an eavesdropping derek to spit out his coffee.

“first of all, ouch,” you sarcastically scoffed. “second of all, i just haven’t had time nor found the right guy.”

and that i’m madly in love with you.

you ignore emily and jj raising their eyebrows at you.

“well, i can set you up with someone i know.” spencer grinned.

“spence, you don’t have to do that-”

“yes i do! you’re my best friend and an amazing person and i want to see you happy.” he explained. you were definitely ignoring emily’s and jj’s eyes practically popping out of their heads.

right. best friend.

“besides, we have the weekend off. you can go on a double date with me and maeve at the foreign film festival!” spencer beamed.

“oh, i don’t want to be a bother.”

“you won’t be! and i think you’ll like this guy.” he said with confidence.

me liking a guy who isn’t you? i don’t know about that.

“please y/n.” spencer begged. after a few moments, you sighed.

“fine, i’ll go.” you agreed in surrender.

“great! i’ll text you the details later.”

maybe this blind date will actually go pretty well and i’ll finally get over spencer.

-

you arrived to the park that the festival was being held at, carrying a picnic blanket as you sported a cute midi dress.

“y/n!” a familiar voice called out to you. you turned to see spencer waving to you with one arm as the other was wrapped around maeve’s waist. you noticed another familiar figure standing next to them.

“hey guys!” you smiled as you quickly walked up to them, giving spencer a hug.

“you look amazing!” maeve complimented you, bringing you in for a quick hug as well.

“thank you, you too!” you grinned at her. you turned to the third person, giving him a friendly smile.

“y/n, this is-”

“agent anderson.” you smirked at him, surprised that spencer had set you up with a coworker.

“please, call me grant. you look beautiful.” he smiled at you.

“thanks, you’re not so bad yourself.” you smiled back.

grant wasn’t a horrible guy. you’ve had small talk with the guy before, and you were actually shocked to see that he shared a few similar interests as you. and you weren’t going to lie, he was quite the looker.

“we still have another half hour until the screening starts. let’s walk around and check out the vendors.” spencer announced, grabbing maeve’s hand as they walked away.

that definitely did not hurt. and you are on a date right now, y/n.

“see you later, lovebirds!” she shouted, causing you two to laugh.

“let’s go, shall we?” grant offered his arm to you. you grinned as you wrapped your arm around it.

as you two walked around, you found yourself having a good time while talking to grant. you both talked about where you’re from, what made you want to go into criminal justice, and even teased each other for the snack choices you both bought for the films.

“i’m telling you, sour patch watermelon is better.” you argued as grant laid down the picnic blanket next to spencer and maeve (who were already cuddled up next to each other).

“at least you get different flavors with sour patch kids.” grant raised an eyebrow at you. you huffed as you took your spot next to him, popping another piece of candy in your mouth.

“aw look, they’re already having their first fight, how cute.” spencer teased, earning a popcorn thrown to the head by you.

soon, the first movie projected onto the big screen, the noises dying down as it started. grant wrapped his arm around you (after asking you politely, which you accepted) as you watched the movie with ease, seeing that you knew the language it was playing in.

“hey, y/n?” grant whispered.

“yeah?” you raised your eyebrows as your eyes were glued onto the screen.

“funny thing, actually. see, i don’t know really know what they’re saying,” he gave a nervous chuckle quietly. you looked at him with confusion. “i thought they were going to have subtitles.” he confessed as you tried to suppress a laugh.

“don’t worry, i got you,” you gave him a small smile. “so far, the guy and the girl are from rich families and their parents are making them marry in the next month.” you explained.

“oh,” he nodded. “wait, what’s happening now?” he looked at the screen with interest.

“that guy over there,” you pointed out the weird-looking man. “is trying to make sure the marriage doesn’t happen. he said he’s gonna seduce the girl and marry her and take her money and kill her.”

“not with that mustache.” grant joked, causing you to chuckle.

you kept translating for grant, trying to keep quiet as he kept making funny remarks. you were having a great time with him, until you heard giggles from your left.

you turn your head to see maeve smiling as spencer’s lips were centimeters away from her ear  (assuming that he was translating the movie for her too) as his arm wrapped securely around her shoulders. you couldn’t help but feel you heart breaking again.

“you okay, y/n?” grant whispered closely to you. you slightly jumped, snapping your head towards him.

“yeah, i’m fine.” you faked a smile.

you both continued translating and joking around as you ignored the pain in your chest. after a couple more hours, the film finished with a happy ending, causing you to tear up (and grant to wipe them away with the sleeves of his sweater).

“that was such a good movie.” spencer said as the four of you walked to your cars.

“i know! i started crying!” you said, earning laughs from everyone.

“y/n, you cry at everything though.” spencer teased.

“i do! it’s a talent of mine.” you quipped, raising an eyebrow at him as grant laughed.

“well, this is us,” maeve said as she and spencer stood by her car. “we’ll see you two later!” she bid goodbye as you hugged her and spencer.

“see ya!” you waved goodbye as they got in the car.

“may i walk you to your car?” grant offered.

“sure!” you accepted as you led the way. a comfort silence fell between you two as you walked under the moonlight.

“you’re in love with him, aren’t you?” grant broke the silence. you stopped in your tracks.

“what?” you furrowed your brows.

“spencer. you like him.”

“what? no,” you shook your head as you continued walking. “he’s my best friend.”

“i don’t need to be a profiler to notice the way you look at him,” he shyly put his hands in his pockets. “and i’m guessing you let him set you up on a blind date so you could get over him.”

“i’m sorry grant,” you sighed. “you’re a great guy, really. and i had a lot of fun tonight.” you sulked.

“y/n, it’s totally fine. you can’t control who you love,” he patted you shoulder in comfort. “i think you should tell him how you feel.” he suggested. you looked at him like he was crazy.

“that sounds like a horrible idea, grant,” you laughed. “as you can see, he’s in a happy relationship.” you said as you arrived to your car, leaning on your door.

“i’m serious! you really should.”

“and why would i do that?” you crossed your arms.

“first, spencer looks at you the way you look at him. second, you should hear the way he talks about you.” grant explained.

“no way. he’s just being a good friend and he’s known me for a long time.”

“when he was talking to me about setting us up, he talked about you as if you had put all of the stars in the sky – he was blushing and even stuttering! trust me y/n, i know. tell him before you lose him for good.” he rambled. you sighed, not wanting to get your hopes up.

“i don’t believe you for one bit,” you both laughed. “and besides, i don’t want to ruin spencer’s happiness.”

“you both deserve to be happy,” he smiled at you. you lazily smiled back at him. “listen, i gotta go. thank you for tonight, y/n, it was nice getting to know you more. even though this date didn’t go as planned, it was nice to make a new friend.”

“thank you grant.” you pulled him in for a warm and comforting hug.

-

you scrolled through netflix as you tried to decide on a series to binge-watch with spencer.

spencer: hey y/n, can i come over and hang out with you?

y/n: sure, why?

spencer: maeve’s caught up with work.

y/n: oh, is she okay with that?

spencer: yeah! she knows we’re just friends.

yeah. just friends.

spencer: wanna watch something? i’ll let you pick.

y/n: sure!

spencer: great! i’ll see you in a bit. :)

yay. great.

you finished putting down bowls of your favorite snacks on the coffee table when you heard a knock. you rushed over to open your door to see your best friend smiling at you.

“hey, come in! i hope you like watching new girl again.” you opened your door wider, letting spencer walk in, he immediately jumped onto your couch. you laughed as you sat next to him, pressing the play button on your remote.

“so, how was the date? what do you think of grant?” spencer asked as the show played in the background.

“it was fun! he’s a cool guy.” you answered.

“that’s great! did you guys kiss? when’s the wedding?” he joked.

“hold your horses, bud,” you rolled your eyes at him. “we did not kiss and there will be no wedding. we actually decided to be just friends.”

“what?!” spencer’s eyes widened. “why?! you two looked so good together.” he pouted.

“i know you worked hard to get us together, and i appreciate you for doing that, but it’s for the best. now can we get back to new girl?” you asked. spencer nodded as you two glued your eyes to the tv.

after a season had finished, spencer looked to you, only to see you knocked out. he shook his head in amusement as he stood up and walked to your room to find you a blanket. before he could grab your blanket, your desk caught his eyes.

“what a mess,” spencer muttered to himself as he tried to organize the files that sat on top of a pile of paper. he moved a few folders and started to organize the papers until he started reading them. “what are these?”

dear spencer,

you are the sweetest person i know. you always bring me my coffee order (i would ask you how you remember my order, but then i realized you have eidetic memory) along with my favorite muffin. even when i have already gotten my order, you still show up with two coffee cups and a paper bag and give me my half. 

to be honest, i feel bad that you’re always spending on me, even if it’s just coffee and muffins and you always tell me that it’s nothing. but i appreciate that you’re always thinking of me – and that’s one of the many reasons why i have fallen for you.

love, y/n

“fallen for me?”

dear spencer,

i wonder how many facts go through your head at a time. i also wonder what kind of books you’ve read to have come across those facts. and with the amount of facts that your brain has obtained, i wonder how fast it takes for your brain to bring up a fact that relates to whatever we’re talking about.

despite the random times you started rambling about a topic and someone from the team stops you, i started to find them fascinating. they’ve interested me enough to the point where i started to do some research on my own whenever you brought up a random fact. your fact dumps are cute – you’re cute.

love, y/n

“y/n thinks i’m cute?”

dear spencer,

oh boy, the things you do to me. i know you’re my best friend, but there are times where it just feels like we could be so much more. remember when we were hanging out at my place and we were watching star wars for the hundredth time? we were having a great time, until you wrapped your arms around me and started cuddling me while we finished the rest of the movies.

i got scared, but i didn’t stop you. i let you hold me in your arms and even wrapped my arms around your torso and leaned on you, hoping that you didn’t notice my heart beating louder and faster than usual. i shouldn’t be feeling this way for my best friend, but goddamnit spencer i’m in love with you.

love, y/n.

“she’s in love with me?”

“s-spence?” a voice called out to him. spencer turned his head to see you with a terrified look on your face. “what are you doing with those?”

“i- are these love letters? to me?” he asked. you visibly gulped.

“those were from a long time ago.” you tried to explain as you felt your eyes starting to sting.

“why didn’t you tell me?” spencer sounded like he was about to break. you deeply inhaled before speaking.

“i was scared of ruining our friendship and obviously you don’t see me that way. there was no point in telling you since you’re with maeve now. i meant to throw those away, but i guess i forgot.” you lowered your head. spencer sighed as he tried to take everything in.

“y/n-”

“can you leave?” you asked slowly. “i think we both need some time to be alone right now.”

“but we need to talk this ou-”

“spencer, please.” you looked up at him with tears that were ready to fall. he understood and walked out. as soon as you heard your door close, you fell onto your bed, hugging your legs to your chest, sobbing until you let darkness consume you.

-

after a few days of taking some time off, you were called in for a local case. the moment you sat at your desk, you could feel spencer’s eyes on you. ever since that night, you haven’t returned any of his calls or messages as you tried to recover yourself from getting your heart broken. and now that you’re back, everybody could feel the awkward tension between you two. you tried to ignore it, putting your focus on the case. 

luckily, hotch could tell what was going on and decided to pair you off with emily for the day. the case you were working on wasn’t as severe as the others you have worked on, so as soon as the team delivered the profile, you went out to lunch with grant.

“and then i asked him to leave.” you finished explaining the incident to him.

“i’m sorry that happened.”

“it’s not your fault. my dumb ass forgot to throw away those stupid letters and now spencer and i can’t even look at each other.” you sighed as you continued to eat your lunch.

“don’t say that. it was better that he found out sooner or else your feelings would’ve eaten you up the longer you kept them in.” grant raised his eyebrows at you.

“you’re right. i just miss him. i miss seeing him and talking to him and i messed it all up. god, even after a few days off, i’m still not over him.” you lazily poked your food.

“the wound is still fresh. no one expects you to be alright right away. but it does help if you talk to him.” he suggested.

“what is there to talk about? spencer doesn’t like me and he’s happy with maeve – end of story.”

“yeah about that,” grant nervously chuckled. “spencer broke up with her.”

“what?” your eyes widened. “why? they were so good together. i didn’t want him to break up with her because of me. now i feel bad.” you frowned.

“he didn’t tell me exactly why they broke up, but i’m guessing it has to do with how he feels about you.” he shrugged.

“about me? yeah, sure.” you roll your eyes in amusement.

“you’ll never know unless you talk to him.”

“how do you always know what to say?” you grinned at your friend.

“it’s part of the charm.” he said, earning a laugh from you.

you soon returned to work to wrap up the case. hours later, it ended with a quick arrest with no one else getting hurt. you relaxed into your desk chair as you started on paperwork.

hours later, you found yourself being one of the only people left in the office (along with spencer sitting at his desk and hotch in his office).

“are you sure you don’t want to come get drinks with us? paperwork can wait until tomorrow.” emily offered as she, jj, derek, and penelope were ready to hit the town.

“as much as i would love to, i think i’m just gonna stay in tonight after i’m done. thank you though, and have fun for me!” you smiled at them, giving them quick hugs before returning back to work.

after a couple more hours, you finished the last of your paperwork, bringing your pile up to hotch’s office.

“here’s that paperwork i’ve finished. i also finished morgan’s pile,” you said, placing the files on his desk. “is there anymore that you want me to do?”

“no, you’ve done a lot today. get some rest.”

“okay, thank you.” you smiled at him.

“thank you again, y/n, have a good night.” he said, not even making eye contact.

“thanks, you too.”

“oh, and y/n?” hotch quickly said, lifting his head up. “talk to reid.” he simply said. you softly exhale.

“yes sir.” you nodded, giving your boss a small smile.

you quickly returned to your desk, looking up to see that spencer had already left. you slump your shoulders in defeat.

maybe i’ll talk to him tomorrow.

you opened your drawer to grab a few items and placed them in your bag. you checked the drawer again to make sure you didn’t miss anything, until you noticed some things that weren’t there before.

envelopes? what are those doing there?

you picked them up to see your name and a number written in an eerily familiar handwriting on one side. you carefully opened the envelope that said ‘y/n (1).’

dear y/n,

you’ve always intrigued me. not gonna lie, when i first met you, i was intimidated by you. you carried yourself with such confidence and ambition, i instantly thought that we were opposites – that you would be annoyed by me. but then i got to know you. you greeted me with a big smile, and i honestly felt my knees wobbling.

you are the sweetest girl. you’re so understanding and you always make everyone’s happiness your number one priority (although i do think it’s not a bad thing to be selfish sometimes). you’ve done so much for everyone, especially the team, both inside and outside of work.

when i found out you had a secret love for superheroes and science fiction, we became closer. i told you everything and whenever i felt down, you were the first person i went to, and you did the same to me. i am so grateful to have you by my side. i know you aren’t one to open up a lot, but i’m happy to be that one person you let break down your walls sometimes.

love, spencer

you started choking on air as your heart started picking up the pace. you picked up the second letter, opening it a little faster than the first one. you took a deep breath before you started reading the longer letter.

dear y/n,

for someone who has eidetic memory, i can’t pinpoint the exact moment where i realized i was starting to have feelings for you. there are so many moments where i see you as more than just my best friend, it’s honestly the little things you do that just gives me butterflies in my stomach.

like your first christmas with the team when you gave me several pairs of star trek socks. you told me you felt bad for not getting me something more expensive, but i love them. i’ve worn those socks more than any other pair i own. there was another time where you sent my mother a gift basket just because you thought she was feeling down. i didn’t know you sent her one until she called me out of the blue, wanting to thank you for cheering her up – i honestly didn’t even know you two regularly talked to each other. i don’t really talk to anyone about my mom until i met you, and it really means a lot to me seeing you check up on her when i wasn’t able to.

but what made my heart flutter the most is when you came over to jj’s and helped watch henry with me. i can usually take care of that little rascal without trouble, but i guess one night he decided to eat a bunch of candy and run around the house. you basically teleported (which is not scientifically possible, yet) and managed to catch henry and help him settle down. i couldn’t help but admire you with loving eyes as you made henry laugh while you tucked him into bed. you’re really great with kids and would make an amazing mother someday.

this letter was longer than usual and i got a little carried away. i just wanted to tell you that you are a wonderful person who deserves the world.

love, spencer

you felt a tug at your heartstrings as you smiled from ear to ear. you looked at the last envelope, feeling a little bit scared to open it. nonetheless, you ripped the top open, taking in another deep breath before reading.

dear y/n,

i really am an idiot, aren’t i? ever since the night i found your letters, i felt like the biggest jerk in the world. i broke your heart many times without even noticing, and seeing you cry that night made me feel like absolute shit. i hate that i’m reason you’re hurting and i would give everything up just to make you happy again.

after thinking things through, i broke up with maeve that same night. i love her and she will always have a place in my heart, but she isn’t you. and before you start to think that it’s your fault, it’s definitely not. i made the decision to end things with her, and don’t worry, she’s okay and she actually understands. i’m 100% sure of my decision.

i’ve never met anyone like you. you’ve been in my thoughts and dreams for the longest time. when i fell for you, i fell hard. i didn’t even think you would see me as more than just a best friend, and i am such an idiot for thinking that i can replace you. you deserve true love and happiness and i hope you find that someone that gives you their all – even if it isn’t me.

love, spencer.

you wiped the tears off your face as you read the last sentence.

“holy shit.” you managed to breathe out. 

you quickly got up and grabbed your bag and car keys and sprinted to the elevator. you bounced your leg as you anxiously waited for the elevator to reach the parking garage.

run to your car. speed to spencer’s apartment without getting pulled over. slam on his door until he answers it – i’ll kick it down if i have to.

as soon as the doors open, you started running to your car. as you got closer, you spotted a tall figure leaning on your car, stopping in your tracks and almost dropping your keys.

“spencer?” you said, causing him to jump up a little.

“hey y/n.” he scrambled, trying to get himself together.

“you waited for me?” you stated the obvious. spencer nodded, giving you a nervous smile.

“seeing that you were still up there for a while, i’m guessing you read the letters.” he lightly scratched the back of his neck.

“oh, i had one more case to file,” you started to joke. “what letters?” you raised an eyebrow. spencer’s eyes widened.

“well, this is awkward. i guess i’ll get going-” he started to walk away.

“i’m just kidding!” you exclaimed, gently grabbing his wrist. “i did read them.” you said quietly.

“oh.” spencer cooed.

“look, i didn’t mean to put you in that situation. i really was happy for you two and i know you said it’s not my fault you broke up with her, but i can’t help but feel guilty. i’m sorry.” you felt tears building up again.

“please, don’t be,” spencer grabbed your hands. “yes i liked maeve. she’s a great person and all, but what i felt for her was nothing compared to what i feel for you.” he confessed. you felt your heart racing.

“really?”

“yes,” he chuckled. “and if you don’t feel the same anymore, i’m totally fine just being your best friend. i’d rather have you in my life as a friend than as nothing at all. and i know you deserve someone who makes you happy and won’t break your heart and-”

before spencer could finish, you placed your hands behind his neck and pulled him in for a sweet, yet passionate kiss. you felt him smile as he held your face in his hands, deepening the kiss. soon, you both pull back to catch your breaths, and you found yourself looking at him as if he held the entire universe in his eyes. you gently placed a hand on his cheek.

“i want you.” you lazily smiled at him.

“can i ask you something?” spencer raised his eyebrows.

“anything.”

“did you throw away those letters?” he asked. you thought about his question, realizing that you never really did touch those letters ever since he found them.

“actually, i didn’t. why?” you looked at him with confusion. spencer suddenly started smiling mischievously. he snatched your car keys out of your hand and ran to the driver’s side.

“we’re going back to your place and i’m reading every single letter you wrote me!” he laughed.

“spencer, no!”

[steveyockey]

At some point I started to think that maybe Chuck kept bringing Cas back because he was intrigued by this creature who kept stepping out of line? Like in season 4 when Cas and Dean appear at chuck's place and he says "you guys shouldn't be here I didn't write this" and Cas goes "we're making it up as we go" and it turns that that wasn't meant to happen!!it wasn't in his plans!!!! like we know the writers didn't plan any of that it still worked in the end!!!

there is a lot to parse as far as chuck is concerned because at points the writers do want you to think he has checked out or lost control of the narrative so the characters are making decisions of their own volition but generally the beauty of chuck’s creation is that it’s a perpetual motion machine. he found the one story he’ll never get tired of and he keeps replaying it over and over again in different worlds or with small simple tweaks, much like creating an au, but most importantly the characters themselves buy into it. I hate to use this word after it’s been proffered with such a heavy hand all over the internet and often for things that are just the surveillance state itself but dean’s internalization of heroism has a deeply panoptic element to it, like even without chuck he’s going to reach for the performance he’s been taught to view as his most adequate self. which is the beauty of cas! he hasn’t really been “taught” anything about who he is, just molded under the idea of discipline — angels aren’t really supposed to have identity because identity comes with preference, desire, will. I think you’re right that cas intrigues chuck much the same way he clearly intrigued some of the writers, but the writers and chuck both agreed that he was not The Show and could only reason to tolerate him in appropriate doses that left space for sam and dean to do the actual show. in an odd way giving him a kid (an act that clearly signifies cas’s devotion to dean as he raises jack as a testament to the humanity he has learned through loving dean) was a tactic conceived that could please both cas stans and the bronlies because it gave cas something to do that could take on a plot with a separate depth from the brothers (while still, almost ironically, feeding back into the idea that cas has successfully changed the narrative enough by himself to the degree that he managed to cultivate an identity separate from [though obviously linked to] his desire for dean — fatherhood). and that’s the ticket really, as much as cas might fascinate chuck, he can’t keep him around because he’s done more than just step out of line, he’s completely exited the systems of discipline and, rather than being content to float in empty space, has elected to crash through the walls of the house chuck built. it’s chuck’s fault for shoddy craftsmanship but cas has to pay regardless. which is the further genius of cas! he pays the price the only way that chuck cannot prevent from having drastic narrative implications! the confession predictively retcons 15.20 by making the actual canon finale not asynchronous with chuck’s story but instead asynchronous with cas’s superior arc! godstiel wins babey!

[the-resurrection-3d]

so what was ever good about acotar anyway?

For some reason, I’ve been very tempted to reread ACOTAR lately, and so I’m going to just make a quick list of what I remember specifically endearing the book to me back when I first read it in 2016 so we can compare notes later. This will, however, also include some retroactive criticisms now that we’re four years on from ACOWAR ruining everything forever. 

Twigger warnings for discussions of abuse, csa and neglect, as well as me using my complimentary R Slur Pass.

For some context: 

>Be 18yr me in 2016. 

>Be in your first semester at college. 

>Be so fed up with YA romance that you avoid books just for hinting at them in the summary. 

>Be also brainstorming a series with your roommate called The Cuckmaster Saga. 

This is probably going to sound embarrassing, but I’m being completely sincere when I say that part of why this book excited me was simply the novelty of finding a YA romance book that I liked. 

I’d fallen out hard with YA in general by this point in my life, partially because of a string of fairy tale “retellings” that clearly gave zero fucks about the source material beyond using the iconography in its marketing. Folklore had been my special interest for a while, and my excitement for the series and all its little extra niche references coincided with finally getting to study folklore in a true academic setting.

Which leads me to point one:

I love the idea of combining BatB and the Tam Lin ballad. I know some people have complained about this, but honestly, I enjoyed finding a retelling that mimicked the mix-and-match structuring of a lot of folktales. ACOTAR isn’t even the messiest or least coherent mash-up by a huge margin. Unfortunately, this aspect of the series severely lessened as it went along — remember when we all thought ACOWAR was going to be a Snow White retelling and then there was just one scene with poisoned apples? Lmao.

[If anyone wants an author who does YA mash-ups that are actually YA, I’d recommend Rosamund Hodge, whose books are always interesting in their sheer weirdness even when the story itself slightly falters. I mean, I wrote a whole 20-page thesis on her Red Riding Hood/Maiden Without Hands retelling and still didn’t cover everything I had thoughts on. (Tragically, however, I must inform you all that she is a Catholic Reylo. Rest in pepperoni.)]

It is fucking hilarious in retrospect that SJM clearly knows a bunch of different folktales and folkloric creatures but thinks it’s believable for shadowsinger powers to have no theorized origin “even [in] the rich lore of the warrior-people” (ACOFAS 65). Bro fuck outta here. 

But this leads into point two — Feyre and her family. It’s very obvious that SJM based Nesta and Elain’s dynamic with Feyre off the common folktale trope of having the youngest sibling be the only competent person in the room (and Katniss Everdeen). I thought it was honestly a lot of fun to see this trope done with some interiority; you can practically hear Feyre seethe about what useless hoes her sisters are between every line. I genuinely giggled through these parts on my initial readthrough. 

I’ve seen some people complain that Nesta and Elain’s behaviors aren’t realistic in this situation, but au contraire! Nesta and Elain’s actions in book one are (...almost) perfectly realistic. Without revealing too much, my grandmother grew up in poverty with a few older sisters, and yet my great-grandmother would make her do all the work and constantly force her to give up her possessions (like her car) to the older sisters whenever they wanted them. Even to this day, when they’re all in their 70s and 80s, one of these sisters still relies on my grandma to do basic shit like balancing her checkbooks. I’ve also observed similar dynamics play out plenty of times between an adult child and an overindulgent parent, with people literally ruining their lives and bodies all for the sake of sitting at home all day buying furry porn off the internet. 

Nesta and Elain are basically the psychology of this type of person split in two — Elain the soft, delicate, perpetually victimized front they put on for the world, and Nesta the ice-cold, bitter, and aggressive bitch they truly are. 

Honestly, the only thing I would change about this set-up is either keep Ma Archeron alive or give Papa Archeron more personality than a plank of damp wood. What’s truly missing here is a parental figure enforcing this fucked up dynamic — I don’t remember it being clear that Feyre’s always had this role, just that she took it on after her mom’s death. Making it clear that Feyre’s always been forced to be this way — alongside giving the mom more characterization — would have gone a long way towards making this dynamic feel more realized and less like the narrative using trauma and pity as a shortcut towards reader engagement. 

Then again, that would require SJM to have a female villain in this series who isn’t a rapist, and quotes I’ve seen floating around from ACOSF make it pretty clear SJM doesn’t know same-gender sexual abuse even exists. 

Anyway. 

Point Three (or rather 2B): Feyre realizing she doesn’t have to hang around her family just because she feels obligated to love them was a fucking banger. I loved it so much; having a story, especially a YA story, that showed you aren’t obligated to love a family that treats you like shit was so special to me. Especially since I was also leaving my family for the first time, and going home to visit them every other weekend felt like being hit point-blank with a Psyduck blast. 

Thankfully, my relationship with my family has gotten a lot better, but I’m still really disappointed that Nesta and Elain were forced back into the story, rather than them reaching out to Feyre and making amends because they wanted to do better.  The closest we got to this was the revelation that Nesta almost made it to the Border by herself after Feyre was taken, which was definitely badass, but also unfortunately the only Nesta scene I’ve liked in this entire fucking series. If SJM was going to force Feyre to regress into being Nesta and Elain’s tardwrangler again, then she should have followed up on Amren’s line in ACOWAR that Feyre treats Nesta and Elain the way Tamlin treated her. 

“I asked them to help once—and look what happened. I won’t risk them again.”

Amren snorted. “You sound exactly like Tamlin.”

[. . .] and I said, “She’s right.”  (169-170). 

But I’m sure everyone who’s read ACOSF knows how well that’s going. 

Point Four: the femindhjdfhfdh I can’t even write that with a straight face. I mean let’s be real, I too enjoy seeing female characters I like become queens and all that other stuff, but it was clear to me even on my initial reading of ACOMAF that it was all shallow and designed to help delineate good guys from bad guys without much in the way of nuance. It certainly took me out of the experience a little, but at least it ties into the books’ themes of recovering from abuse and shacking up with a Certified Women Respecter. 

My actual point four: Truthfully I only bought this series for the meme of having the first shitty love interest getting cucked in the second book. ACOWAR gave me some complicated feelings on Tamlin, and I honestly think he should have just stopped appearing in the series after that — BUT, having him be dragged back in once per book just to call him a cuck and cockslap him around a little bit is fucking hilarious. Pointless! But hilarious.

I also think that this kind of arc is a great critique of the standard “happily ever after,” acknowledging that in real life, you’re much more likely to just pass from one abusive household to another because you don’t know what healthy love, communication, and boundaries are. (Arguably many folktales are the fantasies of women who are well aware of this reality but want to imagine a world that’s otherwise). I definitely have a lot of problems with SJM’s claims of “sex positivity,” but acknowledging that Feylin used sex as a means of avoiding communication was another great touch.

I wish that this whole King of Hybern shit was completely cut just to focus on these themes more; it’s very clear SJM only included it because fantasy series = BIG EPIC WORLD-ENDING STAKES!! I've read maybe ten pages of Throne of Glass, so I can't speak for how she handles epic fantasy there, but I know for me and a lot of other stans, the Hybern plot had licherally nothing to do with what we liked and connected to in these books. 

But I must soften here, because I totally empathize with feeling like big stakes are “necessary” for a fantasy story and that no one would want to read your books without them. YA fantasy is the reason why TV Tropes coined the term “romantic plot tumor,” after all. (Source: I’m making shit up.) 

What else… what else… uhhhhh. I think that might be it, at least for substantial things I don’t have to qualify too much. I of course have plenty of little things I used to like but have now been tainted because ACOWAR ruined everything forever and ACOFAS danced on the graves (such as how I liked Lucien but everyone in the books shits on him now to the point it’s stopped being funny). But this post is too long anyway.

[sugarlino]

circle of life ✿ bc

genre(s) : fluff , strangers to friends!au , law of the jungle!au , celebrity!au

pairing(s) : reader x bang chan, reader x a turkey and some trout lmao (also featuring the chief himself kim byungman, as well as kangnam, yoon park, heo kyunghwan, and hong jinyoung because they’re some celebrities that have been on law of the jungle that i really like haha)

w.c. : ≈ 950

desc. : bang chan comforts you when you start to feel guilty about your dinner on law of the jungle

warning(s) : animal death , mentions of blood and uhh animal body parts :/

a/n : i really don’t know why i’m writing this because i’m vegetarian HAHAHA (fellow vegetarians or vegans i’m so sorry) but i thought of it while watching the show law of the jungle! it’s a korean tv show where different celebrities (a mix of idols, actors, athletes, models, etc) go somewhere in the world with the “chief” kim byungman and survive however they can by battling the environment, building their own shelters, and catching their own food. this specific scenario is inspired by law of the jungle in patagonia! the show is really fun, i highly recommend if you are interested in survival in the wild. also, reader is a celebrity, obviously, but it’s up to you what kind of celebrity you are!

(gif credit to owner!)

“oh no…” you whined. after eating nothing but wild berries and wild berry jam the whole time you were in patagonia with the tribe, you were exhausted, discouraged, and absolutely starving. you were sitting next to the fire, making more jam with the wild strawberries you picked when the hunting team came back. the chief and kangnam held a net in their hands, most likely holding some type of fish or sea creatures, while jinyoung held some sort of bird in her hands and bravely led the other three men towards your shelter.

being crazy hungry, you thought you’d have to wet your lips and stop yourself from drooling if the hunting team did come back with your next meal. but instead of drool, all you got were shivers down your spine. your heart broke when you saw the bird flapping around in jinyoung’s grasp. it had probably come from the trap you helped the chief and the others set up earlier that morning. the poor thing…

“(name), you’re hungry, aren’t you?” yoon park asked you.

“yes, i really am,” you replied with a nervous laugh. you didn’t want to show that you were upset after all the hard work the tribe had gone through to catch food to feed each other. you were unbelievably grateful, but the bird just looked so scared.

the whole tribe erupted into cheers. “hey, (name), you can continue making the jam and we can eat it with the turkey!” jinyoung said. you nodded and smiled. everyone looked so excited, and you didn’t wanna bring the mood down by expressing your sadness over an animal’s life being taken. you never felt this way when you ordered chicken at home, but having to be a witness to the actual killing part made you feel sick.

the chief and the others went off to start gutting the turkey and the trout to get them ready for your meal. you continued cooking the jam and winced as you tried your hardest to ignore the turkey’s cries for help. you made eye contact with the law of the jungle staff, and they chuckled at your distressed expression. you couldn’t help but chuckle back. why were you acting like this?

“it’s gruesome,” you said, making eye contact with one of the camera directors. he nodded in response, sympathizing with your feelings.

you felt a presence near you, and looked up to see bang chan from stray kids watching you make the jam. he had a fish skewered through a stick and you tried not to look at it as you patted the spot next to you, inviting him to sit. you were on good terms with everyone in the tribe, but you had the least chances to speak with bang chan out of all 6 of your tribe members, so you were still curious about him. especially since he was the youngest out of all the men in the tribe.

“i have a dog named berry,” he told you with a smile as he pointed at the jam you were making. “do you have any pets?”

“i have a fish,” you said with a blank expression, looking at the dead chilean trout on the stick he was holding.

“ohhhh…” chan said awkwardly, glancing down at the fish he was holding. “i’m sorry.”

“no, no, it’s fine.” you grinned.

“oH MY GOSH IT’S SO BLOODY-“ you heard kyunghwan shout. chan laughed next to you.

“kyunghwan sunbaenim looked so funny trying to get the turkey out of the trap, you should’ve seen-“ chan turned towards you and saw how disturbed you looked. “hey, (name), are you okay?” he saw your eyes get watery and a worried expression appeared on his face immediately. why were you acting like this? you kept asking yourself why you had to ruin the mood like this.

“i’m sorry, i was excited to finally get some food other than berries, and i feel bad being upset when everyone is so happy. i guess i just didn’t expect the real thing to be this… sad to me,” you explained. chan nodded understandingly, which you appreciated. you made eye contact with the dead fish and shuddered as he placed the small trout on the makeshift grill that the chief had made, being nice and tactless enough to move the grill as far away from you as possible.

“WHY DOES THIS TURKEY HAVE FAT RAMEN NOODLES FOR INTESTINES?” kyunghwan shouted again and you groaned, making chan giggle cutely.

“i feel so guilty…” you pouted.

“it’s okay,” he reassured you. “it’s nothing to feel guilty about. it’s not easy to handle, no matter how hungry you are.” chan placed a comforting hand on your parka-covered shoulder, and you thanked him as you took the pot of jam off the fire and placed it on the ground. “circle of life, right?”

“circle of life,” you repeated back to him, starting to feel a little better.

“(name), does your pet fish have a name?”

you and chan talked for a few minutes, getting to know each other until the rest of the tribe came over with the freshly gutted turkey and the other trout. you winced again.

“the jam is ready, so (name) and i are gonna go get more sticks for the fire if that’s okay,” chan said. the chief nodded, immediately realizing that you were uncomfortable watching the animals, and sat down to cook them. “don’t worry, i gotchu.” chan smiled as he patted your back, standing up and offering you his hand.

you felt extremely grateful for the kind boy, and got up to go collect more sticks with your new friend, starting to actually look forward to your first real meal in days.

a/n : yay! my first work on this blog! i kind of lost motivation to write without even having written anything, but i finally started to get some ideas. this one was really short and kind of a mess of an idea, but i am working on a longer work, possibly one with chapters. please look forward to it, especially you sky castle fans (the kdrama!) and you hyunjin stans! 💕

[jikanet-tanaka]

30, 25 (Another World, Another Time), 18, 4

For the behind the scenes ask!

30. Tell us an idea for a longfic you want to write in the future.

Weirdly enough, you were the one to give me this idea through a post of yours about a youkai-themed Gravity Falls AU!

The story would be that the twins (Maiko and Masaru) would come to live with their great-uncle “Ken’ichi” who’s running a shrine (…mostly to scam tourists, actually). While exploring the woods behind the shrine, Dipper/Masaru then finds a journal about local youkai, written some thirty years prior… along with the ghost of the guy who wrote the journal! The ghost in question doesn’t remember anything about his past, not even his name or appearance, but he does know he had six fingers on each hand when he was alive.

So Dipper and the ghost (nicknamed “Roppon” by Dipper) go adventurin’, trying to piece together Roppon’s missing memories by studying the creatures described in his journal. So each adventure would be centred on one youkai and one recovered memory in particular.

…my only problem is that I have no idea what Stan and Mabel could be doing at this time, let alone other characters like Soos (Kousuke, or Kou-san) or Wendy (Yuki).

25. Which idea came to you first in Another World, Another Time?

Hmm, the confrontation between Bill and Stan in Chapter 15, and Ford meeting the Axolotl in Chapter 17. The whole story was written so I could get to those scenes. It’s as dumb as that. In every longfic I write, there is at least one or two scenes like that, sort like a linchpin to the whole story.

 18. What is a line/scene you’re really proud of? Give us the DVD commentary for that scene.

The chapter where Ford is lost in time and sees parts of Stan’s life (Chapter 18). It came really late in the planning of the story (originally, the Axolotl was supposed to have visions of Dipper and Mabel talk Ford through his issues).

But I kinda thought, well, they always say you should show, not tell, right? So I rewrote the entire damn thing. Since the main theme of the story is that the core of your personhood rests on the actions you take, not what you were born as, it was important to have Ford confronted with the kind of person his brother had become… aka just an average guy doing his best, messing up at times, but still remaining devoted to his family (in a way that’s detrimental to his own mental health, even).

The part I had the most fun writing in this chapter was Ford seeing the day of his and Stan’s birth. It was also a way for me to show him getting closure about the other members of his family (his mom, Shermie, his dad).

 4. Do you outline before you start writing? If so, how far do you stray from that outline?

…more or less?? I do have a general outline that I plan in my head (I never write it down for some reason), mostly so I know what clues I have to place early ‘n stuff. An outline is also a must if you want to attempt something approaching a character arc, I think.

That said, I tend to write my scenes out of order (I often start a story by writing the beginning and end, plus important parts in the middle). So to make that all fit together, my outline does have to be flexible. But, writing by the seat of one’s past is not an enjoyable experience, so I wouldn’t recommend it (pretty much the whole subplot of the gang that remained in Gravity Falls in AWAT was written that way and, oh my god, it shows, it shows so damn much).

I do have a fond memory of struggling to resolve a plot point in an earlier story I wrote, and just waking up with a grin one day thinking, ‘oH! I juST haVE to kILL THaT ONe charAcTEr, thAT’s iT’, and laughing madly in my bed.

[zero2heroyesindeed]

Life’s Surprises- A Cassandra and Rapunzel Tangled AU fic

So this is the first entry in a series i’ll probably do where the premise is taking the original Tangled movie and reworking it to incorporate characters and elements from the series (so naturally that would also mean changing events that happen in the series which I may or may not explore later down the road). First I just want to preface this by saying this is the first real piece of writing I’ve ever done (that isn’t in a screenplay format which is a completely different medium so this is way out of my comfort zone) and this is the first time creating anything Tangled related so it’s going to be very messy and probably not gramtically sound. But I tried and this is the first time I felt inspired enough to make anything in months so here we go.

The sun beamed gloriously through the trees as Cassandra stalked her way through the wilderness. Gusts of wind rushed past her, causing the branches to rustle which was enough to put even her on edge.

Adopted from a young age by the Captain of the royal guard, ever since she can remember Cassandra has dreamed of the day she’ll get to wear that same golden armour and make her father proud. But when she finally came of age, she was forced into the role of one of the castle’s many servants. She wanted to serve her king and queen but not by doing their laundry. Still, she put on a brave face and fulfilled her duties without complaint hoping one day she would get her chance to prove herself. Whenever she wasn’t scrubbing pots and pans in the kitchen, she was on the grounds, honing her skills in both agility and combat. Though it was difficult since the only sparring partners she had were the training dummies they used for new recruits. But as the months of waiting turned to years, Cassandra had started to consider the reality that maybe her dream was never meant to be anything more.

That was until the day Flynn Ryder came to town. The notorious thief had snuck in right under their noses and made off with the crown that had once belonged to the lost princess before disappearing into the forest. Finally seeing her chance to prove to her dad she’s ready, Cassandra decided she was going to be the one to find the renowned thief and bring him to justice. That night she put down her dirty rags and grabbed her bow and arrows, as well as her sword which she never left home without. It was rather easy for her to sneak out since most of the guards were already out searching for the criminal. This meant she only had to sneak past Pete and Stan who weren’t exactly the sharpest knives in the drawer. A quick trip through the town and she was out on the bridge and heading into the forest, seeing her destiny closer than ever.

What Cassandra had failed to consider was the size of the woods surrounding Corona. Finding a master criminal in this place will be like searching for a needle in a haystack. Making matters worse was the fact there was also a whole battalion already on his trail who had gotten a good few hours head start. Unfortunately for those guys, they didn’t have an owl friend helping them out.

Owl returned to Cass and perched on her arm, letting out a disappointing hoot which told Cassandra her biggest advantage wasn’t going to get her very far. Still, it was nice to have some company while bracing the seemingly endless darkness. It was even nicer having company she didn’t have to talk to since she’d never been a hugely social person.

Despite the setbacks, Cass was confident in her tracking ability and believed finding Flynn Ryder would be child’s play for her (after all she’d been training for this since she was a child) why she’d probably have him behind bars by sunrise.

She wouldn’t.

Instead Cass spent all night searching every tree, bush and flower patch for any sign that could lead her to the offender, making sure to mark each one with a mighty swing from her sword to ensure she wouldn’t end up going in circles.

But time marched on. Night transitioned to day and Cassandra refused to stop until she had proven her worth to everyone. Unfortunately despite her tremendous strength and discipline, she was still human. A human who just went a whole night without a moment’s rest so she was starting to feel a little fatigued and the unfamiliar location only added to her unease. Why was she even doing this? Either the other guards had already captured Ryder or he’d stowed away on a boat and was on his way to another kingdom never to be seen again.

These questions would have to wait however, as Cass was startled by a rustling that came from a nearby berry bush. She silently crept towards it, drawing her sword hoping to find her prize but fully expecting to have to fend off a wild animal. Nothing could’ve prepared her for what was actually on the other side.

She carefully used the tip of her sword to part the branches revealing something she wasn’t expecting, a girl who was examining the berries in her hand. The second her eyes met with Cassandra’s she screamed and leapt back in fear, throwing the berry which whizzed past her shoulder.

“Who are you?” the girl asked in a panic as she fumbled to pick up an iron frying pan that had been lying next to her. Now that the girl was up and standing Cassandra finally got a full look at the mysterious stranger. The fact the girl wasn’t wearing any shoes would’ve probably caught her attention had she not been currently distracted by the seventy feet of golden locks that currently trailed around her. “Don’t come any closer” she threatened while pointing the cooking utensil towards Cass “I’m not afraid to use this!”.

After what seemed like an eternity of starring in awe, Cass finally responded. “Hey-hey. Calm down. I’m not going to hurt you”. Rapunzel took another step back. “Oh yeah? Then what’s that?” she questioned as she gestured to the sword Cassandra was still holding.

“Oh, right” Cassandra realized how much she scared the girl when she accidently pulled out her sword on her “Look, I’m sorry. I’ve just been walking for a while and when I heard a noise coming from the bush I was a little startled”. It was obvious the blonde girl still didn’t trust a word she said. Cassandra calmly threw her sword to one side. “There. We good now?” she asked hoping this would settle the girl’s nerves.

“Nice try” Rapunzel retorted “but how do I know you don’t have any other weapons on you?”.

Cass let out an irritated sigh as she removed her quiver and placed it on the ground. Then she took the dagger from her side and threw it down before finally taking the hidden knife out of her boot and throwing it onto the pile. “See? Completely defenceless” Cass said taking a step forward and putting up her empty hands. The girl now feeling more assured took a few slight step towards her, dragging her long locks through the grass, while still remaining cautious. Slowly the two inch towards each other when suddenly a deafening hoot is heard from above which causes Rapunzel to almost jump out of her skin. Owl soars down from above as Cass holds out her arm for him to land on.

The girl practically lit up upon seeing the winged creature. “Wait. Is that an owl?” she inquired “I’ve read all about owls but I’ve never actually gotten to see one in person before. What’s his name?”

“Owl” Cass responded unenthusiastically. “Wow” Rapunzel added, unable to contain her excitement. This gave Cassandra an idea. “You wanna hold him?” she asked. “Oh my gosh. Yes. That would be the best thing ever!” Rapunzel immediately responded, no longer showing any signs of the timid girl she was just a moment ago.

Cass slowly removed her glove from her right hand and held it out towards Rapunzel who slowly reached out to receive it. She quickly put the glove on and stuck out her arm. “Okay. So am I supposed to do something or..” the question was immediately answered as Owl landed on Rapunzel’s arm. “Oh. Hello there” she giggled while beginning to gently pet the bird of prey.

After a while Owl took off once more flying through the trees into the sky. Rapunzel pulled the glove off her hand and gave it back to Cass. “Thank you” she added. The two stood in awkward silence as Cass put her glove back on. “So what’s your deal exactly? You live out here or-“ she trailed off. “Oh. Not exactly. I live in a tower” the blonde girl responded. “A tower” she countered with a hint of sarcasm “and how long have you lived there?”. “My whole life” Rapunzel joyfully answered “my mother has always kept me up there ‘cause she says that’s where I’m safe” the energetic girl continued. “And just to let you in on a little secret” she lowered her voice to a whisper and leaned in closer to Cass “this is the first time I’ve ever been outside”. Cass looked back at her, trying her best not to sound sarcastic “Really? Never would’ve guessed”.

The sunshine girl continued, only getting more hyper. “See, every year on my birthday I’ve noticed these floating lights appear in the sky. Now I know what you’re thinking and no, they’re not stars. And I know it’s crazy but I can’t help but feel like they were somehow meant for me. So my mother left for a few days to go get me a birthday present. Oh yeah, I should probably mention today’s my birthday. Anyway, I snuck out of my tower so I can see the floating lights”.

Cass was now starting to feel overwhelmed by the girls exuberance and sat down on a nearby log. “That’s quite the tale, blondie. So you’re just out here by yourself then?” she enquired. “Oh no” Rapunzel answered “I have someone to guide me. He’s this really nice guy I met called Eugene Fitzherbert”.

Cassandra couldn’t help but chortle at the sound of that name. “Eugene Fitzherbert? That has got to be the most ridiculous name I ever heard”. She continued laughing as Rapunzel approached her “Well, I don’t know. I think it’s a great name” she retorted while sitting down next to Cass on the log. The two sat there for a moment just admiring the natural beauty that surrounded them.

“Y’know, it’s funny. All my life my mother told me the outside world was a dangerous place filled with roughians, thugs and men with pointy teeth but it’s nothing like what she told me. Ever since I left my tower I’ve met a bunch of kind people and I’ve done things that I never thought I could”.

She turned to Cass.

“What about you? Do you have a dream?” she asked. Cass just sat there in silence, not entirely sure if she wanted to open up to someone who was still very much a stranger. I mean, they didn’t even know each other’s names and suddenly they’re having this deep heart to heart. Rapunzel sat there, waiting patiently for a response.

“Yeah, I’ve got a dream. Though lately I’m not all that sure it’s gonna come true” Cass said solemnly. Rapunzel moved down the log, getting closer to Cassandra in an attempt to comfort her.

“Well, there was once a time I never thought I’d ever get to see the floating lights but now I’m going to get my dream. And if there’s one thing I’ve learned since leaving my tower it’s that even when you think you know something, life finds ways to surprise you”

“That’s a nice thought. But my dream’s a little more complicated than seeing some floating lights” Cass coldly responded as she stood back up “listen, there’s a good chance that there’s a dangerous criminal in these woods. You and Fitz-sherbert or whatever should be careful. I need to get going”.

Cass started to leave as Rapunzel called back to her.

“Okay. Well it was nice meeting you” then there was a slight pause “and I hope you get your dream someday.”

Cass froze for a moment. She sighed, glancing back at Rapunzel from over her shoulder.

“Yeah. So do I”

Rapunzel watched from the log as Cass disappeared into the wilderness, setting off on the long journey back home.

[thelastspeecher]

All right, so I had to split my response to Anon here into two parts, because I was working on answering the first part of the question (which, if you want to send me an Trope Mashup thing, here’s the list), and then I accidentally wrote something.  To be clear, the askbox meme thing I reblogged was not a prompt thing, and Anon was clearly not trying to send me a prompt.  The meme was just to come up with ideas and talk about it.  But I got inspired at midnight to write so I wrote.  

Here’s what the picture says:

Hi, two things.1) If I can make a suggestion for the Fanfiction Trope MASH -UP, how about 56 an Awful First Meeting with 73 Stranded Due to Inclement Weather. There's so many weather possibilities, including the impossible ones. And I just remembered Gravity Falls has blood rain. 2) In your aus with vampires and other mythical creatures that can consume blood how would the vampires and family feel about Gravity Falls blood rain? Or any of your aus thoughts on blood rain, please?

Anyways, the whole point of that meme was to come up with like, NEW AU stuff, but I didn’t.  The thing I got randomly inspired to write was for my fledgling Restaurant AU, which hasn’t been discussed much here.  But anyways, enjoy.

——————————————————————————————

              Stan played with an empty straw wrapper, listening to the rain pound the roof of the cruddy restaurant he’d been roped into running.  The restaurant was open, but not a single person had walked in the door for hours.

              I guess word’s finally spread about how shitty I am at cooking. Stan groaned and put his head in his hands.  Good work, Stan, you fucked up yet again.  The bell over the door jingled.  Stan’s head shot up.  A young woman stood just inside, her hair and floral dress completely drenched.  Stan put on his smarmiest smile.

              “Hey, there, what can I do ya for?” he asked cheerfully.  The woman rubbed the back of her neck.

              “Um, I didn’t come in here to buy anything, I just needed to get out of the rain,” she said sheepishly.  Stan’s fake smile was wiped away.

              “If you’re not here to buy something, then leave,” he snapped.  The woman looked back outside.  Nothing was visible through the sheets of rain. She looked back at him, like she couldn’t believe he was going to make her go back out in that weather.  “This isn’t a charity, it’s a restaurant.”

              “Yeah, I’ve heard of this place,” the woman muttered, in a tone that made it clear she hadn’t heard anything good.  Stan crossed his arms.

              “Get out, lady,” he rumbled.  The woman ignored him and looked at the corkboard hanging by the door.  “You look like a drowned rat and probably weigh as much as one.  I can throw you out myself if you don’t leave on your own.”  The woman was inspecting a piece of paper on the corkboard.  “Seriously, you-”

              “Would ya throw me out if I apply fer this job openin’ you’ve got?” she asked abruptly.  Stan tried not to be startled by the realization that she had a rather thick southern accent he hadn’t picked up on when she spoke earlier.  The woman raised an eyebrow at him, waiting for him to speak.

              “Do you have a copy of your resume?” he finally asked.

              “Do you really need one?” the woman asked, crossing her arms.  “Look, I don’t mean to sound rude, but word ‘round town is that yer place desperately needs some help.  Can ya really be turnin’ away someone who is willin’ to apply?”

              “You’re just pretending you wanna work here so that you don’t get washed away by the hurricane outside.”

              “No, I could actually use a job.  I don’t really want to move back in with my folks, but it’s a bit pricey to live ‘round here and there aren’t many places hiring.”

              “I’m not gonna interview you.  Get out.”

              “I’m good with people, I’ve been cookin’ since I was a child, and I know how to balance a checkbook.  I’ve got the skills fer just ‘bout any job you need help with.”  The woman shrugged.  “I mean, what do ya have to lose?”

              Dammit.  She’s right. I need some help, or this place is gonna go under.  I can’t fail at something again.  Stan sighed.

              “Fine.”  He walked over to the woman and held out his hand.  “The name’s Stan.  Stan Pines.” The woman shook the offered hand.

              “Angie.  Angie McGucket.”

[hiding-under-the-willow]

👀

Here's an unfinished fic I was writing earlier this year for a Stan Frederick/EMH Crossover AU. I posted some parts of it when I was originally working on it but I never actually finished writing it (and I probably won't since the new season of SF is coming out) so it never got posted. It literally ends midsentence and I'm not gonna go back and reread the whole thing before I post it but I remember it being good so here you go.

_____

"If we are ever that desperate... " He had trailed off, not even wanting to finish the thought, perhaps not realizing that he may not have been the desperate one after all.

*****

It had been almost a year since the events of 'Amendments'. Almost a year of freedom. Well, kinda. Stan didn't quite know if he would call it freedom. Sure, he was free of Connor, of the monsters that had haunted his past life, but he was on the run, knowing that his monster would be back for the rest of him once it realized it had missed a piece. Sure he was free, but what was freedom if you weren't even really alive to enjoy it, if you were constantly on the run, and if you couldn't go back to the ones you loved for fear of dragging them back down the rabbit hole with you. In this sense, Stan didn't consider himself anymore free than he had been in those years where the monster had lost it's effect on him and he was actually able to help people.

Help people. That wasn't something he quite did anymore either. Obviously he couldn't go back to his position as a 'signal disruptor', that would just pull him back into the fray, and that certainly wasn't an option. Plus, being what he was now, dead but not really, in a way he was just the type of monster he would've been called to investigate in the first place.

A Corruptelum. That's the name he had given to beings like himself back in the old days of investing monsters. Alive, but not quite, a shadow of his former self. He didn't quite like the name anymore, and he wasn't able to rationalize between whether that was because he actually felt the title didn't fit or if he just couldn't quite recognize himself as one of them under that name. Either way it made him uncomfortable applying the term to himself and often he did his best not to think about it, though it was rather hard not to think about, considering his situation.

He had been traveling from place to place, exploring the country as a way to distract himself and stay safe while avoiding places like Maine, New Jersey, Alabama, and Florida, where he knew the monsters often lurked or had victims they were already hunting. Sometimes he fell into the routine of travel so easily that it was almost like he was back on the road investigating again and he almost forgot everything that had led him to this point. Almost.

The only place he could truely cease thought was sleep. Sure, being what he was, he didn't need sleep, but it was a small comfort from his past that he wasn't easily able to abandon in his new form. Most nights were dreamless, an upside considering that almost any dream he did occasionally have seemed to be a nightmare about his monster coming back to collect the pieces it had missed. Even the rare times he had a normal dream he found himself saddened knowing that the dream scenarios he came up with were never going to be real.

Tonight, Stan was almost sure he was having a nightmare when he awoke to unfamiliar surroundings. Well, not quite unfamiliar, the place had a strong hold on his subconscious, he was sure he knew where he was, but he couldn't remember exactly why the place did feel so familiar to him. Either way, it wasn't where he had fallen asleep, and that was never a good sign.

Stan pushed himself to his feet, the air around him crackling with static energy, as if it knew he didn't belong and was trying to push him out. He could sense supernatural power in the house, something that almost felt like a protective force surged through the walls of the home, but more importantly, there was definitely someone, or something, in the house with him, and close too. Alarms were immediately going off in his head. He was starting to realize that this may not have been a nightmare.

He heard the opening and closing of a door somewhere nearby and suddenly the lights flicked on. He blinked to adjust his vision out of instinct, though he didn't actually need to since light levels didn't affect his vision the way it would have if he were truely alive. He was in some sort of livingroom type area, and judging by the small window near the ceiling he thought he may have been in a basement.

Heavy footsteps echoed through the large room. Stan whirled around to face whoever it was walking up on him and was met by a face he had never wanted to see in person. His eyes went wide and he was sure he looked horrified at the realization of where he was. The creature facing him grinned wildly at his terrified expression, a low chuckle escaping his lips as he leaned against the wall casually, looking Stan up an down like a predator would it's prey.

"Stan Frederick, you are a hard man to find." He announced, his voice was rough and low, edged with an echoey static that hinted at his not so human origins. "Or should I call you Evan? That is your real name, right?"

Stan narrowed his eyes, causing his opponents grin to widen further. "Why did you bring me here Habit?" He jumped straight to the point, feigning confidence. He wasn't going to allow Habit to play with him the way he had seen the creature do to others before him.

"Oh, come on, ease up Stan, I'm not gonna hurt you." He paused, chuckling, "... Yet."

Stan took a step back to distance himself, "What do you want?" He questioned bluntly, refusing to give in to Habit's teasing.

"Man, you are seriously no fun." Habit whined sarcastically, standing up straight and stretching his back, the popping of his joints echoing through the room, putting Stan on edge. Well, more than he had been before that is. "And so rude too. You see, I'm trying to be nice to ya' pal, which isn't a pleasure I allow all my guests," His eyes narrowed to a sharp glare as he snarled like the feral monster he was, "So I don't exactly take nicely to your standoffish attitude." His voice was low and threatening, sharp like the edge of a freshly sharpened knife, that demonic undertone that hinted at his true form becoming more prominent.

Stan grimaced, knowing this encounter wouldn't end well if he were to be too stubborn with the creature before him. Habit's rabid smile returned as he realized that Stan understood his thinly veiled threats and would almost certainly be more willing to cooperate.

"So, Stan, buddy, how have things been for you lately?" He questioned, mischievous and arrogant as ever, his lazy, threatening grin gracing his lips once more and his voice sounding almost normal once more. To the point where if an unwitting friend of Evan's were to hear him speak they might just mistake the creature inhabiting their friend's body for their actual friend.

Stan had to hold himself back from rolling his eyes at the question, "Well, you know, not great honestly, considering everything that happened." He answered honestly, annoyance and contempt edging his words.

Habit's grin widened. It was exactly the answer he had wanted and though the words that left his mouth were relaxed and calm, almost lazy, it was obvious he had prepared for this before hand.

"Oh yeah, that's right, you had an... incident, about a year ago, right?" He didn't wait for Stan to respond, continuing with an ever widening smile, "That was a pretty interesting trick you pulled on the old stick-in-the-mud, kind of impressive if I'm being honest." He paused for a second, looking as if he was thinking, "What is it that you called creatures like yourself again?"

He walked across the room theatrically as he continued, his gaze intense, "Alive but not really, a shadow of your former self, a broken puzzle missing its pieces!" He looked to Stan with an excitement in his eyes. Stan was sure at this point that Habit had been preparing for this exact moment for a while.

"A corruptelam." His voice was low and calm, corrupt as ever, "That's what you called them, right?"

If it wasn't for the fact that Stan could quite literally feel the supernatural power flowing off of this creature in waves he may have lashed out. Hearing someone else call him by that title, it hit him hard in a way he hadn't realized it would. He very suddenly regretted coining the term in the first place, as accurate as it was. It was just so dehumanizing. He realized all at once that that was the reason why he had felt uncomfortable applying the title to himself for all this time, the implied lack of humanity that came along with it. For so long, in a world surrounded by monsters, the one thing he had been certain about was his own humanity, the thing that separated him from the creatures before him and joined him with the rest of the world, as fucked up as that world might've been at times. A pit grew in his stomach as the entity before him smiled wickedly at his crestfallen expression.

"Oh, you don't like that, do you?" Habit questioned, amusement clear in his voice.

"Shut up... " Stan's voice was quiet, but commanding.

"But you were the one that coined the term Evan, it's what you are, why is it that you seem so upset then?"

"Stop. Whatever you want, I want no part of it." Stan told him, his voice a bit stronger as he grew angrier at the homicidal entity's mind games. Hearing the creature mutter his real name wasn't helping either. He knew he was being manipulated, but all the same he knew it was effective manipulation, and that scared him more than any title he could be given.

"You say that now, but I have a feeling you'll want to hear me out." Habit smugly suggested.

"And I'm telling you that I don't deal with murderous, baby eating gods with anger issues and a want for war." Stan held his ground, but he honestly wasn't as confident as he sounded.

Habit's face fell, it wasn't hard to tell he was getting tired of Stan's defiance and he didn't try to hide it either.

"Stan, I swear to god, if you don't shut up and hear me out I will feed what's left of you to the old stick-in-the-mud as if I was Micheal goddamn Andersen."

Stan froze. The threat, despite everything, still scared him. The possibility of that monster winning after all the effort he had gone through to make few sure it didn't, it was, in a way, the perfect threat.

"Fine." Stan begrudgingly gave in, arms crossed "Make your offer."

"Perfect." Habit's grin returned as if nothing had happened, "Now Stan, I don't know if you've ever stopped to consider this, but I think it's quite obvious that we share a common enemy."

Stan raised an eyebrow.

Habit sighed in exasperation, "Oh, don't play dumb!" He exclaimed, his patience obviously wearing thin, "I know for a fact that you're not on the stick-in-the-mud's good side, and if you're even half as aware or intelligent as I think you are, then you know that we don't exactly get along well either."

"And?" Stan questioned, just as exasperated as Habit was, if not more.

"If you would just let me finish I'd get to it!" Habit growled, his hand slamming down on the small table next to him.

If Stan didn't know as much as he did about the dangerous entity before him he probably would've been a bit entertained by the dramatic being's frustration. Instead he stood facing a seemingly immortal, openly homicidal, self-proclaimed god, with anger issues currently focus entirely on him, and despite being mostly dead, Stan found fear creeping into his subconscious once more.

Habit took a deep breath and composed himself, his now narrowed gaze focusing back on Stan, "Anyways," He hissed, "You probably know this, but I've been working with

[orangeoctopi7]

OBVIOUS JOKE

@artsymeeshee @digikate813 

I love the Spider-Stan AU and I finally got the time to write a little ficlet for it. Expect more to come.

What with his fascination with all things weird and paranormal, Stanford subscribed to a number of newsletters dealing with cryptozoology, urban legends, and other strange sightings. There were the big ones, of course, like Weird Science Weekly, but Ford also liked to read the smaller, often local publications. They usually reported new finding and sightings long before they made their way into the bigger publications, and they often kept track of smaller patterns the bigshots couldn’t be bothered to print.

It was in one of these smaller newsletters, Peculiar Pennsylvania, that Ford first read about the mysterious Spider Man.

The article was short, with an eyewitness account of passing what had appeared to be a normal man in an alley, until the witness turned back and saw it scuttle up the wall like a spider. It was an interesting article, to be sure, but Ford probably would have forgotten all about it if it weren’t for the fact that a similar occurrence was later reported in Ohio. And then one in Florida. Then in Tennessee. Then a few in Texas. As time went on, Ford began to notice patterns in all these accounts. Each person would describe what appeared to be a homeless man sitting in a secluded spot, usually an alley. They would pass by him without a second thought, only to hear something move behind them. When they turned, the homeless man was no longer sitting where he’d been a moment ago. H was climbing up a sheer concrete or even glass wall, too fast to be human. Another common thread was that most every witness reported losing something valuable afterwards, typically cash or jewelry.

Soon the cryptozoological community was abuzz with speculation on what this new cryptid could be. Was it human with special spider-like abilities? Was it some sort of creature that could take human form? Ford personally subscribed to the theory that it was an extra-terrestrial, observing the human race and collecting valuables to try and determine their importance.

The Spider Man’s fame grew enough to make it onto an actual news station when two muggers were found in a back alley, a rain gutter tying them to a fire escape. They claimed they had simply been trying to collect some money they were owed when their victim leapt up the wall, higher than any human should be able to, pulled the rain gutter out of its bolts, and jumped down on them, knocking them over. He had then bent the metal around them with his bare hands, dragged them to a fire escape on the other end of the alley, and twisted what was left of the gutter around one of the escape’s supports. Some people thought the two criminals had just heard the stories of the Spider Man and tried to blame the urban legend in a poor attempt to either save face or keep their real attacker out of trouble. But the cryptozoologist and paranormal researchers saw it as further evidence that there really was a Spider Man.

As the years passed, more and more reports, big and small, cropped up. Mostly they were just quick sightings here and there, but every once in a while there’d be another big story that could be tied back to the Spider Man. An arrested man disappearing out of his holding cell without a trace. A woman saved from assault when a masked stranger stepped in and fought off her assailants, then carried her straight up a glass wall to safety. A drunk driver who’d nearly hit a pedestrian, only for the would-be victim to jump straight over the truck. The reports happened all over the country, and while the cryptid’s movements could be tracked, it proved impossible to predict where it would show up next.

The Spider Man actually played a large part in Ford’s doctorate thesis. It was a prime example that new anomalies were still appearing and needed to be studied. It wasn’t all just old wives tales and overblown ancient legends. This was one of the points that ended up getting him his grant.

So, imagine his excitement when he learned that the elusive Spider Man had been sighted as nearby as Portland! His normally single-minded focus on the portal project was broken, and he practically begged Fiddleford to come with him to search the city.

McGucket remembered how his friend had combed through every weird publication he could get his hands on for more information about this mysterious cryptid during their college days. And honestly, from the state things had been in when he’d arrived at the cabin, it was clear Stanford had been spending too much time alone out here in the woods. A visit to the city would do him good.

Harder to convince was Stanford’s muse. He was less than thrilled to hear his chosen genius was distracted by another project.

“SERIOUSLY, IQ? YOU FINALLY GET THE HELP YOU NEED TO START BUILDING THE PORTAL AND THE FIRST THING YOU WANNA DO IS RUN OFF ON A WILD GOOSE CHASE?” Bill sounded completely unimpressed.

“It’s not a wild goose chase!” Ford insisted, all at once feeling like he was in the middle of his thesis defence again. “This is a well documented cryptid with hundreds of eye-witness accounts over the past ten or so years, a clearly traceable trail of sightings around North and South America, I know it’s real!”

“WHOA! EASY THERE SIXER!” Bill said defensively, “I NEVER SAID I DIDN’T BELIEVE THE THING’S REAL. IT’S REAL ALL RIGHT. BUT WHAT EXACTLY IS THE POINT OF YOU CHASING AFTER IT?”

Stanford was taken aback. True, Bill didn’t really ‘get’ a lot of human emotions and needs, but he thought his muse at least understood Ford’s thirst for knowledge and understanding. “The chance to study it, to learn more about it! Despite all the sightings, there’s still so much we don’t know! And who knows, it could bring me one step closer to my Unifying Theory of Weirdness!”

The dream triangle was still unmoved. “Y’KNOW, YOU’VE BEEN STUDYING STUFF WAY WEIRDER THAN THAT HERE IN GRAVITY FALLS FOR YEARS NOW, AND NONE OF THOSE ANOMALIES HAVE BROUGHT YOU ANYTHING BUT MORE QUESTIONS. WHAT MAKES THIS ONE DIFFERENT?”

“Well, maybe that’s just it!” Ford reasoned, “All the anomalies I’ve been studying so far have been native to the Gravity Falls area. Maybe studying something outside of Gravity Falls and comparing the differences will help me find the answer.”

Bill groaned. “YOU’RE WASTING YOUR TIME, FORDSY! YOU’LL FIND ALL THE ANSWERS YOU’RE LOOKING FOR ONCE THAT PORTAL IS FINISHED! I’M ALL YOU NEED!”

“It’s not that I doubt you.” Ford assured his muse, “This is just something that I’m personally interested in. We’ll only be gone a few days, then we’ll get right to work.”

Bill turned bright red and glared down at Ford, “FINE, DO WHATEVER YOU WANT, BUT DON’T SAY I DIDN’T WARN YOU WHEN YOU BITE OFF MORE THAN YOU CAN CHEW!”

Stanford couldn’t keep his last dream with his muse off his mind as they drove up to Portland. He really hoped he hadn’t offended his muse. Surely they couldn’t finish the portal project without Bill. Then they’d really be up the proverbial creek without a metaphorical paddle.

“Stanford, ya feelin’ alright?” McGucket asked, casting a sidelong glance at his friend. “You been awful quiet the whole trip.”

“Just thinking.” Ford said dismissively. “D’you think we’ll actually find it?”

“With how you attract crazy critters, I’d say there’s a high probability.”

Soon they arrived at their hotel. Ford rummaged through his travel pack while McGucket checked in. He pulled out two polaroid cameras and dozens of packs of film.

“Gonna do some sightseein’?”

Ford snorted. “Hardly. Did you know, despite all the eyewitness encounters, there’s never been a documented image of the Spider Man? We’re changing that tonight!” He pushed one of the cameras and half the film packs into Fiddleford’s arms. “Come on! I want pictures of Spider Man!”

[akastacia]

Día 7 - Sólo por él y para él (drabble) [English/Español]

ENGLISH UP

Day 7 – Free @kymanweek

Word Count: 687

Warnings: based on spookyfish ep, so the drabble is about evil!Kyle and evil!Eric.

Synopsis: Cartman celebrates his 13rd birthday and Kyle thinks about why he likes the fatass.

For the first day, I wanted to write an one-shot about Cartman’s b-day but I ended up writing something different because this idea didn’t match with the first prompt. Anyway~ I really had maaaany ideas for today but, as I wanted to write something related to another of my fics, I decided to use this idea for the seventh day.

Oh, and this doesn’t really have to do with “In a Mirror, Festively” but other fic of mine. But, of course, I got some inspiration from SleepyEule and SynapticFirefly headcanons (sorry, that fic is only in Spanish for the moment).

ESPAÑOL ABAJO

Día 7 – Día Libre

Palabras: 675

Advertencias: basado en el AU spookyverse, así que estas versiones son evil!Kyle y evil!Eric.

Sinopsis: Cartman celebra su cumpleaños nº 13 y Kyle se pone a pensar sobre porqué le gusta el culón.

Para el 1 de julio, tenía ganas de escribir algo por el cumpleaños de Eric, pero me salió otra cosa y la idea esta no podía usarla para el prompt de ese día. Pues bueno~ tenía muuuuchas ideas para escribir hoy, pero como tengo hace días ganas de seguir escribiendo mi otro fic, terminé decantándome por esto.

Esto se puede leer por separado, pero también como un recuerdo dentro de “Harmonía Ilusioria”.

También lo pueden leer en [wattpad]

Y si quieren leer todos mis aportes: [De Culones Racistas y Judíos de Jersey]

ENGLISH

Day 7 / Free – Because of him and only for him.

Eric Cartman.

Eric Cartman was the most stupid kid in South Park. That was something that everybody knew and, for that reason, all in town usually mocked at him.

 Helping others? Thinking about their well-being without receiving anything in exchange? Bullshit! In that full of violence world, if you took care about others, you signed your own death sentence. And that way, people like Eric Cartman didn’t usually survive their first living years.

 Stalked, kidnapped, hunted…

Sometimes, there was that kind of news about people like Eric due to the fact that their arrest or their death were of general interest.

But there were also lots of urban legends about them since, in a violent and bloodthirsty society, honest and kind people weren’t just considered scums that couldn’t protect themselves, they were also a part of that list of abominable creatures that nobody wanted to find when turning their head in the middle of a dark night. Receiving a sneaky stab from your best friend was less scary than finding somebody who truly wanted to give you a hand…

 So, why that fatass was laughing and smiling a lot in his 13rd birthday celebration? There were just 4 people at that party, one cake and nothing kind of violent activity… Kenny and Stan could try to kill each other or something to add some fun, right?…… Nah. With Wendy there, Stan wasn’t going to do a shit… Seriously, what the hell was doing Wendy there?!

 Seriously, for Kyle Broflovski’s mind was easier to understand why Eric could have reach that age successfully than why he was so fucking happy. Besides, Kyle was busier, sitting there and hating everything since he couldn’t put that stupid birthday hat properly because of his stupid jewfro. Agh, fuck that hat! They were too old for that crap!

 But, to be honest, he didn’t care about the reason of that happiness. Eric was stupid, right? And many of the things Eric did or said were strange and couldn’t be understand by normal people.

 People like Cartman were really scarce and their childhoods were usually more than horrible. Most of them died at the hands of their own parents at the very moment they became aware of their child ‘condition’. And those kids who had parents that had decided love them no matter what didn’t usually find the same benevolence from school mates. Or teachers…

 For that reason, their kindergarten teacher had tried to kill him, to the point of setting on fire the whole building with all of them inside. She hated Eric because she was scared of him. Of his joy. Of his big smile. And of his pure wishes of helping others.

 And many people in town were scared too. Many of them were always insulting him, repudiating him… and, sometimes, somebody tried to kill him.

 Ah… Kyle still remembered that time when that idiot from sixth grade had thought that throwing Cartman on that dimensional portal was going to be so funny… Ah… well, Stan and he had had a lot of fun killing that idiot.

 “Kahl. Do you need some help with your hat?”, asked Eric before walking closer to him.

 Kyle should do the same. He should be scared of him. Hate him. Repudiate him. Kill him…

 But nothing of that would happen. Because that smile and those pure wishes had to be for him. All for him. That was one of the first thoughts that Kyle had about Eric. And, in the following years, that had got strength and intensity to the point of falling in love.

 Yes. Kyle Broflovski loved the most stupid kid in South Park. His kindness and shyness. His happiness and his pure heart. His…

  “Happy birthday, fatass.” Kyle said taking advantage of Eric’s closeness to steal him a kiss. Now his boyfriend’s face was completely reddened. And his smile was much more beautiful. If Eric was happy, Kyle didn’t care about understanding why he was smiling before. But it was better when he knew that Eric was smiling because of him and only for him.

 Adorable.

 Eric Cartman was just adorable.

---------------------------------------------------------------

The evil Kyle is evil but he can’t help to himself and don’t act a bit silly when something has to do with Eric www. And he don’t understand why birthdays are funny since, in my spookyverse HC, they aren’t funny without some violent stuff. But, anyways, Kyle doesn’t care if he doesn’t understand, he only wants Eric to be happy (he is smart as the good Kyle but he lives in a society that considers Eric a bad thing; like we consider murderers in ours).

Anyways~ yeah, in my opinion: in the spookyverse, good people aren’t just hated but they are people to be afraid of.

Ah, it doesn’t say it in the drabble but evil Wendy has some kind of friendship with evil Eric. (tbh, many people likes evil Cartman and Kyle hate that fact www)

--------------------------------------------------------------- 

ESPAÑOL

Día 7 / Día Libre – Sólo por él y para él

Eric Cartman.

Eric Cartman era el niño más estúpido de South Park. Eso todos los sabían y, por eso, todos se reían de él.

 ¿Ayudar a otros? ¿Velar por su bienestar sin esperar nada a cambio? ¡Estupideces! En ese mundo, donde la violencia era moneda corriente, preocuparse por el prójimo era sentencia de muerte. Y, por esa razón, la gente como Eric Cartman usualmente no sobrevivía a sus primeros años de vida.

 Acechados, secuestrados, cazados…

Cada tanto había noticias así respecto a la gente como Eric; pues la aprensión o muerte de alguien con Eric era motivo de interés general.

Pero también había leyendas urbanas sobre ellos, puesto que –para esa sociedad violenta y sanguinaria– las personas bondadosas y honestas no sólo eran consideradas simples escorias que no podían luchar, sino que eran parte de ese catálogo de criaturas abominables que, en una noche oscura, jamás te querrías encontrar al voltear. Una puñalada trapera por parte de tu mejor amigo era mucho menos espeluznante que alguien servicial, dispuesto a darte indicaciones correctas…

 Entonces, ¿por qué aquel culón estaba celebrando su cumpleaños número 13 con tanta alegría mientras reía? Allí sólo había 4 invitados, un pastel y ningún tipo de actividad violenta… Kenny y Stan podrían intentar matarse o algo para aportar algo de diversión, ¿verdad?…… Nah. Estando Wendy allí, Stan no haría una mierda… En serio, ¿¿por qué carajos estaba Wendy allí??

 En serio, a la mente de Kyle Broflovski le era más fácil comprender la causa de por qué Eric había logrado llegar exitosamente a esa edad, que el motivo de su inmensa felicidad actual. Además, estaba más ocupado sentado y odiando todo porque no se podía colocar el estúpido sombrero de cumpleaños por culpa de su estúpido afro judío. ¡Agh, al carajo con el sombrero! ¡Ya estaban muy grandes para esas mierdas!

 Aunque tampoco le importaba realmente comprender ni saber el motivo de su felicidad. Eric Cartman era estúpido, ¿verdad? Y muchas de las cosas que hacía o decía, iban más allá del entendimiento de la gente promedio.

 Las personas como Cartman eran realmente escasas y sus infancias solían ser más que terribles. Muchos morían en las manos de sus propios padres, una vez estos comenzaban a ser conscientes de su ‘condición’. Los que no, porque tenían progenitores que habían aprendido a amarlos sin importar qué, no solían encontrar el mismo tipo de comprensión de sus compañeros de colegio. O de los propios profesores…

Por algo, la maestra de preescolar había tratado de matarlo, llegando al punto de incendiar el edificio con todos adentro. Ella odiaba a Eric, porque le tenía miedo. A su alegría. A su gran sonrisa. Y a sus deseos tan puros por ayudar a otros.

 Y, de hecho, muchos lo hacían en el pueblo. La mayoría siempre estaba insultándolo y repudiándolo… y, cada tanto, alguien intentaba asesinarlo.

 Ah… Kyle aún recordaba la vez que aquel idiota de sexto grado había creído que sería muy divertido el arrojar a Cartman por aquel portal dimensional… Ah… bueno, Stan y él se habían divertido bastante matando a ese idiota.

 —Kahl. ¿N-necesitas ayudar con tu gorro? —preguntó Eric antes de acercarse a él.

 Kyle debería hacer lo mismo. También debería temerle. Odiarlo. Repudiarlo. Matarlo…

Pero eso no sucedería. Porque esa alegría, esa sonrisa y esos deseos tan puros debían ser suyos. Y sólo suyos. Aquel fue uno de los primeros pensamientos que tuvo hacia Eric y, con los años, había cobrado tanta fuerza e intensidad que se había enamorado.

 Sí. Kyle Broflovski amaba al niño más estúpido de South Park. Por su amabilidad y timidez. Por su alegría y su buen corazón. Por su…

 —Feliz cumpleaños, culón. —dijo el judío, aprovechando la proximidad del otro para robarle un beso.

 Ahora su novio tenía la cara completamente roja. Aparte de una sonrisa aún más hermosa. Daba lo mismo el por qué estuviera sonriendo antes mientras fuera feliz. Pero era mejor saber que ahora sonreía sólo por él y para él.

 Adorable.

 Eric Cartman era simplemente adorable.

  ---------------------------------------------------------------

El Kyle malvado es malvado, pero no puede evitar ponerse pendejo por su culón :’v Y no entiende por qué un cumpleaños es gran cosa para estar feliz porque en mi HC los cumpleaños no son realmente divertidos en el spookyverse si no tienen algo de violencia (?). Pero, a fin de cuentas, no le importa entender, sólo saber que Eric es feliz. (no es que no lo intente, no puede entenderlo xD es inteligente como el otro Kyle pero consideren en qué tipo de sociedad vive; Eric representa todo lo malo en la nuestra, so~)

Como dije antes, esto puede tomarse como un recuerdo dentro de “Harmonía Ilusioria”. Y sí, para mí, la gente buena en el universo malvado: más que simplemente odiada, es algo a lo que se le debe temer.

Ah, y no lo digo en el drabble pero evil Wendy tiene una especie de amistad con evil Eric. (tbh, evil Eric le agrada a mucha gente y eso le caga a evil Kyle pffff)

[icespur]

It AU:Look What I Found Ideas

I write stories, not many of my stories are online yet though, cause hardly any of my stories are finished! But I write stories of the current fandoms I’m in, and now I’m obsessed with IT 2017 and Pennywise

And I have some story ideas I’m working on, I’ve bothered and mentioned my ideas in reblog comments but now that I figured out how to post I can actually tell you my ideas here!

So here’s one of my IT AU story ideas

The story is called “Look What I Found” and it’s a alternate timeline of when Pennywise came to earth, in the book he came to earth in a asteroid and crashed years ago and then became active when human civilization was built.

Well in here he still comes to earth the same way, BUT——-

He’s an egg....

The asteroid has the egg inside and when the asteroid crashes on earth it cracks open revealing the unscathed egg.

Years go by, creatures die, new creature born, Humans come in. The egg sits in the background as life goes on until in 1988 October when a little 7 year old child loses his paper boat in a sewer gutter, he’s too small to reach it and his parents would kill him if he were to go down into a dirty old sewer. So he has no choice but to go home and break the news to his older brother that he lost his boat, his brother tells him that he’ll look for it for him tomorrow and not to worry.

The next day Bill and his friends go down into the sewers to look for the missing paper boat, they eventually find it—— along with a mysterious black egg.....

Eddie is hesitant and says that they should ignore it but curiosity gets the better of them, thinking this egg is some “new discovery” or maybe it’s a real life dragon egg! So they take the egg with them

Oh boy was that a bad idea.

It seems the more the egg develops the more creepy sh*t it does

* At first it randomly glowed, but as time goes on it seems sometimes glowing is tied to it’s emotions... sometimes.

* If you are brave enough (stupid enough) to put your face up to the egg or put the egg up to a light, you will see a bunch of glowing lights, that gets brighter and brighter as time goes on. It wasn’t until a very weird incident at the park where the egg came in contact with a pregnant woman’s belly that may or may not have caused the woman to bleed, that now if you look at the embryo you will see a normal human fetus

*Can hear and mimic music and voices

*Whatever is in there has two glowing yellow orbs for eyes and it’s creepy!

*Georgie seems very attached to it, he talks to it as if it’s alive and can hear him, Bill’s starting to worry if letting Georgie get so close to the egg is safe.

*The losers have contemplated destroying the egg many times and have come very close to crushing it to bits with a hammer but usually Georgie begs them not to and talks them out of it, or the egg letting out human infant sounding cries stopping them.

* Especially once it become clear that the egg is draining life and certain movement of other people’s organs and limbs so it can have working body parts.

*Gets a very concerning childish disturbing glee from the losers fighting or any negative energy in general, making the egg glow revealing the silhouette of a fetus clapping.

*Eventully starts being able to make noises, squeals, squeaks, weird chattering gibberish, etc.

*Not even technically born yet and it already keeps them up at night. 11:00 pm on a school night the children are trying to get a good night sleep all of a sudden the egg starts glowing and rocking back and forth and loud carnival music starts playing on full blast

*Parts of the egg start to crack leaving a hole where it’s yellow eyes can peak out. Everyone is creeped out by this, except for Georgie who happily walked around the entire house with the egg giving it a tour of the Denbrough house

(I have a bunch of different versions of how the hatching scene would play out)

*It’s chaos when the egg hatches, once the storm clears and everyone is able to hold their breath a small baby clown is revealed.

Raising baby Pennywise........

*He’s a a**hole

*Baby-mutant-clown or whatever he is exactly, apparently develop differently then human infants. The first few days nothing seems too out of the ordinary, sleeps a lot, (to the point where Richie and the rest sometimes wonder if he’s dead so they poke him to make sure he’s still alive which upsets him causing him to curl into a furry auburn ball) But then eventually he randomly learns to stand up in his crib and stares at them standing up......at one week old—— normally a baby doesn’t stand up on it’s two legs for a couple months! He’s only a week old!

* Stan bought a “baby month development guide” book and that soon proves to be no help*

*Learns to sit and crawl very early (too stubborn to walk though)*

*Tries to eat and put every possible non edible object in sight in his mouth. Even before he starts teething*

*Georgie and him are still close, he’s like the younger sibling that Bill and Georgie never asked for. Georgie and Penny have become partners in crime and like to harass Bill. But at the same time Penny also sometimes sees Georgie as food and gets very interested in his arms..... luckily it will be a long while til Penny gets teeth*

*Pennywise is very attached to Beverly, sees her as his mom, and acts like a angel only for her. But when she’s not around—-his true nature comes out. Beverly thinks the boys are overreacting when they complain about how much of a little monster he is*

*Can shapeshift But not as well, he’s just a baby so he’s still learning. Only parts of him will shapeshift, like instead of turning into a full werewolf only werewolf ears will sprout on his head, instead of a full spider——only spider legs will sprout from his waist. sneezing and hiccuping affect his shapeshifting hiccups will make him rapidly change forms (like Maui in Moana when he first tries shapeshifting with his hook) and sneezing will cause parts of him to shapeshift “ah, ah, ah, ACHOO” (werewolf ears spring out on top of his head)*

*He can float.......Well, the actual wording for it would be levitate but he refers to it as floating. Which as you can imagine makes baby proofing impossible*

*Speaking of floating, instead of sleepwalking he also “sleep floats” meaning in the middle of the night randomly while fast asleep he will levitate/float out of his crib and around the house, making the losers freak out once they find out he’s not in the crib anymore and so they have to get a butterfly net and chase him around the house and catch him without waking anybody in the house or him up*

*Oh boy, changing diapers———Well first off, baby clown poop and pee smells even worse then normal human baby bodily fluids. In the words of Richie “It smells like something died in there” for the actual changing part sometimes Penny won’t want to sit still and will try to roll off of the changing mat, or he’ll float off the mat and in the air. Other things to worry about is——he can shapeshift, he can change his gender in the middle of a change throwing everyone off, will shapeshift different wieners or will shapeshift multiple wieners so you have multiple wieners spraying pee at you meaning by the time you are done you are going to be soaked in urine*

*his throw up is like acid. One time his tummy wasn’t feeling too good and one of the boys were playing around with him and lifted him up in the air and “BLEGH” all over their shirt. Penny is all happy and smiley now cause he feels all better while the loser is screaming that it burns and that it’s burning through his shirt*

*Eddie has unintentionally become——maybe just a, teeny tiny bit overprotective of Penny——-just a little bit..... Richie always jokes he’s become just like his mom. Eddie gears him with a helmet (that’s way to big and heavy for his head) they go swimming and he goes overboard with putting the swimming gear on him to the point where he’s just a blob of protective swimming gear*

*Since the losers all live in different homes with their own family they all take turns taking Pennywise home for the day, leading to interesting outcomes. Even though Penny is a toddler he catches on quite quickly that Alvin marsh isn’t a good person and quickly dispises him and brings it upon himself to f*ck with him every chance he gets, non of the adults can see penny so Alvin is 100% convinced a ghost baby is trying to kill him. Every time it’s Richie’s day to take Penny home with him penny always comes back with a new curse word, and they all know who probably taught it to him..... eventually Richie is banned from watching Pennywise...... Mike lives on a farm, oh those poor poor animals..... Ben is kinda scared of Pennywise since Pennywise sees Ben as food since he’s so chubby. Penny pokes Ben’s skin fat, and calls him things like “Pig” or Yum” But since Ben is into reasearch and history Ben would probably try to show him all the newspapers and stuff he’s collected, and then have to take them away from Pennywise since whatever you hand to him his first instinct is to shove it in his mouth or chew on it. Ben also would try to do research to find out what the heck Pennywise is exactly, Stan would be too busy with studying for his Bar Mitzvah to play with Pennywise. Although one doesn’t simply ignore Pennywise, when Pennywise wants attention you give Pennywise f***ing attention. Penny would listen to Stan read for a while but then get bored and decide that Stan has read enough for the day and start tearing the pages out of the book much to Stan’s panic and anger*

*Pennywise is very mischievous, all toddlers are mischievous usually. But Pennywise does things intentionally just to get a reaction out of you. He knows he’s not supposed to do it, but he’s gonna do it anyway. In fact saying “No” only seems to encourage him. The words “No” and “Spit that out” have never been yelled so many times with little results. He seems to run on reverse logic “No! Don’t touch that!” Pennywise stares at the loser—- frozen in place with his arm reached out in mid touch of said forbidden object. His eyes flicking looking at the loser, to the object, loser——object, loser——object, touch, no touch, touch, no touch, as if contemplating his next move. Still looking at the loser, Penny slowly extended his hand out, before the loser scolded him again making him freeze, Penny looked at the loser again. The loser shook his head, “No, you don’t do that” Penny mimicked his head movement, shaking his head. The loser nodded “yes, that’s right, “no”” Penny slowly nodded along with him.... and extended his hand again “NO!” Penny shook his head again then nodded and finally make contact with the object, knocking it down and smashing it to a thousand pieces. “Spit that out!” Pennywise slowly shoves the object farther and farther down his mouth with every “No” the losers yell.*

*he eventually learns to talk, can’t say a full sentence but can say some words clearly or if he tries to say a sentence it’s not the full sentence, a couple words unintentionally skipped. “Where going?” Instead of “where are you (or we) going” “Wha doing?” (What are you doing?) etc. Can say all the losers names “Bill” Eddie” “Richie” “Stan” “Ben” “Bev” or “mama” “Mike” and calls Georgie “George” can say “float” of course, can say his full name or short name surpriseingly. “Pennywise” or “Penny” (he’s very proud of his name for some reason)

*In the movie there was going to be a “smoke hole scene” where we would’ve got to see Pennywise coming to earth but due to budget we didn’t get that scene cause it would cause to much cgi. Well in here they don’t have to do a special ritual cause they can just ask Pennywise! Who is happy to tell them except he’s a baby and all that comes out is gibberish since his vocabularie is still very limited so instead he tried to show them by drawing! But he’s a baby and his drawing and coloring skills aren’t that——readable.... so it becomes a guessing game trying to figure out what the heck that drawing is supposed to be.*

*his intelligence is very selectable, he chooses when he wants to do something, and some things just don’t make sense. Like he can write his full name in a style that would make any professional artist jealous but his drawing and coloring is that of a toddler (which does make sense cause he’s a toddler) he likes Henry a lot and calls him “Bow Wow” (bowers, bow wow) Why? Nobody knows. And sometimes calls him Henry but yet for some reason he can’t pronounce Patrick Hocksetters last name and the H turns into a C..... for once Richie did not teach him this but is very proud of him. And one day out of the blue penny started responding to the losers in Swedish...... no one knows why, there isn’t anything Swedish that he was exposed to lately but they now have a Swedish translation dictionary to find out what the heck he’s saying...*

*Always maneges to steal Eddie’s inhaler and then Eddie has to chase him to get it back*

*Loves water. So bath time is a lot of fun, that also mean they gotta keep him from trying to eat the bath products and the water etc..... also has a fascination with the sewers and always tries to go there but of course the losers stop him*

*when penny gets mad he pouts, making his pudgy little cheek puff out and he’ll refuse to look at said person that made him angry and maneuver himself so he’s facing the opposite direction of that person*

[marypsue]

Raising Stakes 24 / 24

Part One / Part Two / Part Three / Part Four / Part Five / Part Six / Part Seven / Part Eight / Part Nine / Part Ten / Part Eleven / Part Twelve / Part Thirteen / Part Fourteen / Part Fifteen / Part Sixteen / Part Seventeen / Part Eighteen / Part Nineteen / Part Twenty/ Part Twenty-One / Part Twenty-Two / Part Twenty-Three / Part Twenty-Four  

Here it is, at long last! Thank you all for sticking around to see this one completed!

I want to say a big huge thank you to everyone who made art or wrote fic for this AU, left a comment or sent me an ask, or otherwise let me know that you were enjoying reading what I was writing. You made this project so much fun to work on, and I don’t know how far through it I would’ve gotten without you. I’d also like to say a special thank you to @seiya234 for her illustrious beta-ing services which always helped me out of the corners I wrote myself into, and @ancientouroboros, who has been this fic’s biggest cheerleader and has drawn me a truly stunning number of excellent vampstans.

There’ll be an author’s commentary on the fic coming...eventually, and I may post one or two extended scenes, but for now...that’s all, folks!

I’m also on AO3 as MaryPSue.

...

Stan left before the sky was all the way dark.

At least he’d got the Stanleymobile back from the impound, so he didn’t have to sneak away on Jimmy’s bike. It was one thing to run out on your partner in the middle of the night - well, day. It was a whole other thing to steal their stuff.

Which was why he hadn’t swiped any small valuables of Jimmy’s on the way out, either. He’d just cleaned out the contents of Jimmy’s wallet to add to the wad of bills he’d kept stashed under the mattress. Somehow, in the pit of his stomach, Stan knew that Jimmy would understand.

Somehow that only made him feel worse.

The last of the sun was just sinking below the horizon as Stan loaded up the Stanleymobile, casting them both in shadow. Overhead, the last rays of sunlight lit the tops of the buildings with dull fire. Stan slammed the trunk, wincing at the noise it made, and climbed into the front seat.

He let himself look back over his shoulder at the apartment building, just once. 

Then he wrenched the key in the ignition, and turned back to face the road. Probably better he got out while the getting was good, anyway. Even a guy like Jimmy’s patience had to run out sometime. 

And Ford needed him.

Stan pressed his foot to the accelerator, and the Stanleymobile shot forward.

...

Everything was a bit of a blur, after that.

Stan was vaguely aware of someone colliding softly with his back, arms wrapping around him and Ford both, of warmth and pressure surrounding him, of Susan’s voice laughing in his ear. “You’re okay!”

Stan nodded, or thought he did. Everything felt heavy, like when gravity had come back it had come back doubly strong. He realised, with a jolt of horror, that he was less hugging Ford and more leaning against him to stay upright. 

And that there was laughter rising from the person he had his arms around.

It took a huge effort, but Stan wrenched himself backwards, away from Ford. With a little distance, though, he could see that his fears were unfounded. Ford was shaking his head, a smile of disbelief on his face as he reached up and rubbed one hand against his right eye, and his laughter was purely relieved and surprised. He looked up at Stan, and sucked in one shuddering breath, the smile slipping off his face for an instant before he said, wonderingly, “We are okay.”

Stan reached out and grabbed Ford’s shoulder, giving it a reassuring squeeze. Ford was shaking so hard that Stan could feel it through his arm, but that awestruck smile bloomed back across his face as he stared down at his own hands. “Bill’s...gone?” It was almost a question, but then he clenched his hands into fists. “Bill’s gone. He’s gone. And we’re alive -”

Stan coughed. Ford started, his head snapping up to look at Stan, and Stan bobbed his head, rolling his eyes and grimacing. “Well. More or less.”

Ford blinked at Stan, and Stan huffed out a breath. “Aw, c’mon, Sixer, you’re supposed to be the smart one.”

By the way Ford froze up, Stan figured he’d put two and two together.

“Shit, that’s right,” Carla said, from somewhere behind Stan. “Better get some blood in him, or he’s going to have a really bad time.” 

“They’re both going to have a bad time,” Susan agreed, and pulled away from hugging Stan. Stan silently mourned the lost warmth. “You two both got pretty beat up, you’re gonna need something in you to heal you up.” There was a beat, and then she said, “Stan? How you feelin’, hon?”

Stan drew in a breath, and considered. 

“Like shit,” he answered, honestly. “ ‘m good, though. Don’t worry about me. What’s this about Ford needing blood?”

“Oh yeah,” Carla said, and Stan realised she was keeping her distance deliberately. “Within the first twenty-four hours, or his turning’s going to be very drawn-out and painful. You...knew that’s how it works, didn’t you?”

When Stan didn’t answer, she sucked in a sharp breath, and didn’t say anything more.

“Well, I can take care of that,” Susan said, just as the silence was starting to get awkward. “I’ve got Boyish Dan Corduroy on speed dial, he’ll be over here with a couple of bucks in ten minutes if I ask. And don't worry about him, either, he knows sometimes you just need some emergency wild game.” She reached across Stan to rest a hand gently on Ford’s other shoulder. “Uh, Stanford? I’m sorry, but -”

Ford gave himself a shake, and cleared his throat, his eyes focusing back onto Stan’s face. “No, no, none of that will be necessary.”

Stan frowned. “Hate to break it to ya, poindexter, but -”

Ford shook his head. “I’ve recorded a recipe in one of my journals, an antidote for infection by any kind of undead creature. So long as you catch it within the first twenty-four hours, it’s a complete cure. I’ll be back to my old self in no time, and then everything can go right back to the way it was.”

Stan opened his mouth, and realised he had no idea what to say.

“Hold that thought,” he said, finally. “Can we take this conversation upstairs or something? It’s freezing down here.” 

“In a moment,” Ford answered, pushing himself to his feet. “There’s one thing I want to take care of first.”

He stood, turning to face the portal. For a moment, he just stayed there, motionless, looking up at the dead, blank eye in the centre of the upturned triangle with an expression that Stan couldn’t read. 

Then Ford threw himself straight at the portal and slammed his fist into its strangely-iridescent metal face. The portal made a sound like a bass drum being kicked, and Stan could swear it wobbled, just slightly.

Ford hammered against the portal with both fists, throwing in the odd sharp kick to the point of the triangle. At first, it didn’t seem to be doing much of anything, but then the portal shuddered in its settings and started to wobble more and more violently, until it looked like it was caught in a high wind.

Ford slammed both fists against the portal’s face, and stopped, leaning against its face and breathing heavily. 

For a moment, nothing happened. Then there was a long, drawn-out groan, like a giant stubbing his toe, and the portal slowly, slowly started to tip backwards. There was a second where Stan thought it was going to stop, get stuck leaning at that shallow angle - but then, with a wrenching scream of metal on metal, it fell backwards in one long arc, collided with the back wall, and toppled off to crash to the floor on one of its three sides.

Ford watched it fall, raising an arm to protect his eyes from the cloud of dust it kicked up on impact. As the dust settled, he brushed off the lapels of his trenchcoat, and turned back to face Stan and Susan, beaming.

“Right,” he said, and then, patting the side of his face and the top of his head as the smile slowly slipped off of his face. “Stanley, where are my glasses?”

...

It was getting close to sunrise, Stan realised as they emerged from the basement. He could feel the familiar heaviness starting to settle into his eyelids, into all of his limbs.

Ford, by the looks of things, was feeling it worse than Stan, which wasn’t surprising. He wasn’t used to nocturnal life yet. Probably never would be, if he got his way. He started out leaning against Fiddleford’s shoulder, but by the time they reached the hidden door leading out into Ford’s office-slash-lab, Fiddleford was practically carrying Ford up the stairs. 

“ ‘msorry,” Ford slurred, as Fiddleford deposited him gently in his rolling office chair. 

“Now don’t you fret, Stanford,” Fiddleford said. “We’ll get you patched up -”

“No.” Ford reached up and grabbed his friend’s arm as Fiddleford turned to leave. “I’m sorry, Fiddleford.” The motion seemed to take more out of him than he had to give, and he slumped back in the office chair. “Shoulda listened t’you sooner.”

Fiddleford froze. Stan tried to find somewhere else to look that wasn’t at the trail of splatters of Ford’s blood that was soaking into the hardwood floor.

Luckily, he wasn’t stuck staring at the blood Bill had spilled for too long. Stan started when Carla’s hand settled gently on his shoulder, but he followed as she steered him out of the stairwell and away from the Fords’ conversation.

“All right,” Carla said, quietly, with a glance in Ford and Fiddleford’s direction. Stan caught a snatch of Fiddleford saying something about a memory gun, and shuddered, turning his attention back to Carla. “The day is saved, the evil is defeated, and somehow we’re all miraculously in one piece.” She looked down at Stan’s torso, and the holes she’d put in it earlier. “Admittedly, some of us more than others, but still. I think it’s about time for that explanation you owe me.”

Stan tried, unsuccessfully, to hide his wince. 

“Stan?” Carla asked, her expression turning apprehensive. “Oh, come on. Please tell me you have an actual explanation this time, and it isn’t the New Jersey Clamdiggers’ Disease all over a-”

She stopped, looking up at Stan with her eyes wide. “Oh. My god. I knew you made that shit up, but. You made it up to cover up the fact that you were a -”

Carla slapped a hand to her forehead, staring at Stan in disbelief. Her voice was very low and dangerously sweet when she said, “How long, Stan?”

Stan smiled sheepishly.

Carla dragged her hand slowly down her face.

Thankfully, Susan chose that moment to sling an arm around each of their shoulders and pull them into an awkward half-hug. “We make a pretty good team, huh?”

Carla made a choked noise in the back of her throat. It might have been a scoff colliding with a laugh, or possibly Susan was just squeezing her too tight. 

Despite himself, Stan couldn’t help but crack a smile. “Yeah,” he agreed, looking up at Susan, forcing himself to focus on her face and not the artery pulsing invitingly in her neck, a few scant inches from his mouth. This was really not the time. “Yeah, y’know, we actually do. Thanks for saving my butt all those times.”

“Awwwww,” Susan cooed, and gave Stan and Carla another crushing squeeze. “What’re friends for?”

Stan shut his eyes, and took a deep breath in, before letting it out slowly. He was a little surprised to realise he was still smiling.

“Not to ruin the moment or anything,” Carla said, and Stan reluctantly opened his eyes. “But I seem to recall somebody saying something about this guy needing blood.”

“ ‘mfine,” Stan blurted, automatically. He could feel the pulse in Susan’s arm where it was slung across his shoulders, a steady, comforting rhythm. 

“You are not fine, mister,” Susan said, letting go of Stan’s shoulders and pulling back. “I’ll go give Boyish Dan a call, he’ll be over here in two shakes. Mr., uh, Ford? Where’s your phone?”

Ford broke off what had been, apparently, a very tense but largely one-sided conversation to gesture vaguely in the direction of what Stan assumed, based on the stacks and stacks of moldy cookware, had probably once been the kitchen.

“Don’t bother,” Fiddleford said. “Professor Genius here didn’t pay the bill.”

Ford muttered something indistinct from inside the upturned collar of his trenchcoat. Fiddleford spun back to face him.

“An’ I told you that I got spooked when yer twin rolled in an’ got a little trigger-happy with that rememberatin’ gun o’ mine! Y’don’t think I just wear overalls of my own accord, now, do ya?”

Ford mumbled something else, and Fiddleford rolled his eyes, crossing his arms over his chest. “I know ya told me ta destroy it, but y’just don’t understand, it’s a revolutionary scientifical breakthrough and -”

He stopped, mid-sentence, and then looked down at Ford, eyes narrowing. Ford, slouched down so far in the office chair that his face was almost completely obscured by his collar, still somehow managed to look smug.

“Oh, don’t you go a-lecturin’ me on what you said about the portal,” Fiddleford harrumphed. “Now. If y’all’ll excuse me, I got some memory guns t’hunt down and destroy.”

“Oogh, don’t mention hunting right now,” Stan muttered. Susan laughed. Stan wasn’t sure why.

“Wait, memory gun?” Carla asked, with a glance over at Stan. “That wouldn’t happen to erase memories, would it?”

“You betcher baby corns it does!” Fiddleford stopped, and gave himself a little shake. “Though I...wouldn’t recommend a-tryin’ it on this evenin’s events.” 

Carla’s smile was more like a grimace. “I was wondering more about what happens to those memories after they’re erased.”

“Oh, they’re all stuck in a glass tube,” Fiddleford said, waving a hand. “Never know when y’might need ‘em.”

“I think there’s some of mine that I need,” Carla said. “Is there a way to get them back?”

“Years an’ years o’ intensive therapy!” Fiddleford said brightly. Stan was pretty sure he heard a long-suffering groan rose out from the depths of the collar of Ford’s coat. “But you c’n watch ‘em anytime. We got a viewer over at the Society of the - well now, don’t think I rightly oughtta tell a stranger that. But I can take ya there if’n y’let me blindfold ya.”

Carla sucked in a breath, briefly closing her eyes, before she let it out again in a single sharp burst. 

“What the hell,” she said. “I’ve done stupider things for less payoff. Let’s do it.”

Fiddleford beamed.

“Stanford, where’s your journal?” he asked, turning back to Ford’s chair. “I’ll pick up ingredients for your antidote while I'm out.” 

Ford jerked his head sharply to the left, towards a heavy, dark wood desk covered in drifts of paper. Fiddleford nodded, and started to rifle through the papers.

Stan didn’t see if he found the journal or not, because Carla reached out and took his arm. Her hand was so warm, even through Stan’s coat, her expression unusually serious as she met Stan’s eyes and held his gaze. It was enough to freeze Stan’s words in his throat.

For a moment, Carla hesitated, looking over every inch of Stan’s face like she was trying to read something written there, maybe in another language. Stan held his breath, watching her watch him, until she let out a sigh and shook her head.

“Stan -” she started, but Stan cut her off. Gripping her firmly by the shoulders and then holding her at arm’s length instead of going straight for the throat took an enormous effort, but somehow he managed.

“Nope.” It was Stan’s turn to search Carla’s face, now, for he didn’t know what. She’d aged, he realised, a little of the softness of her face melted away, a few lines winking from the corners of her eyes. “You gotta go back to California, right? That flower shop needs you.”

Carla nodded, smiling hugely, but she ducked her head almost as soon as the smile crossed her face. 

Stan nodded, too, and gave her a pat on the shoulder before taking a step back. “You go - get your memories back, or whatever. And - and don’t wipe out. Those roads are icy.”

“I won’t.” Carla looked back up at Stan, and now her smile, even though it was much smaller and more fragile, actually looked real.

Stan shoved down the urge to reach out and brush her hair back behind her ear, cup the side of her face with his hand, lean in and press his lips to hers one last time. It felt like there was still something important he hadn’t done, but what could he say? Sorry I lied to you for our entire relationship? Sorry I got you kidnapped and brainwashed? Sorry I got your memory erased? Sorry I never treated you the way you deserved to be treated and I lost one of the best things that ever happened to me because of it?

“Hey,” he said, finally, and then, when Carla just looked at him expectantly, “The, uh. Flower shop. Sounds great.”

Carla let out a long sigh, but she was still smiling.

“It is,” she said, and then, “You take care of yourself, twinkle-toes.”

Before Stan knew what was happening, Carla took one step forward, closing the distance between them, and pressed a soft kiss against Stan’s cheek.

Then she turned and walked away, with a sweep of chestnut hair, leaving only a faint scent of leather and lilies and the burning imprint of her kiss on Stan’s cheek.

Stan slowly reached up and gently, gently pressed the tips of his fingers against it.

“Take care of yourself, hotpants,” he echoed, under his breath.

The quiet in the office was suddenly broken by a loud blat. Stan half-turned, to see Susan noisily blowing her nose into a tissue that she then used to dab at her glistening eyes.

“It’s so tragically romantic!” she sniffled, when she saw that Stan was staring at her. “Your love is so star-crossed!”

“We literally broke up half a decade ago,” Stan pointed out.

Susan sniffled, and pouted, still dabbing her eyes.

“Well, I’ll be back with the cinnamon,” Fiddleford said loudly, closing Ford’s journal with a snap that made Stan jump. “You still got them barrels of formaldehyde hangin’ around?”

Ford nodded, the floof of brown hair peeking out above the collar of his coat bobbing. He didn’t seem to notice Stan’s strangled noise of disbelief.

“Formaldehyde? Poindexter, how is it that summoning a literal demon is not the weirdest thing you got up to out here?” Stan demanded. 

Ford didn’t answer. He’d slid halfway down the chair and looked like he was well on his way to the floor.

Fiddleford glanced from Ford over to Stan, who had to stifle a sudden yawn. The sun was definitely threatening to rise, now. He could see a sliver of pale light starting to creep up the wall on the other side of the office. 

“I’ll be back round sundown ta help brew up your antidote,” Fiddleford said, and then, a little sterner, “An’ then you’n’me gotta talk. I ain’t forgiven you yet.”

Ford actually pushed himself up on the seat of his chair at that, his face emerging pale and mournful from the collar of his coat. He met Fiddleford’s eyes, and nodded once. “After sundown?”

“After sundown,” Fiddleford agreed, clasping the journal to his chest and turning to follow Carla.

Susan looked from Fiddleford, walking away, to Ford, sliding back down into his coat, and then up at Stan, seeming to come to a decision. “I’m gonna go line up a couple adorable woodland creatures for the both of you two to snack on!” she said, with a weirdly knowing smile in Stan’s direction. “Don’t want anybody going all murdery!”

“Why do you have to say it so cheerfully,” Stan grumbled.

Susan just smiled up at him, the picture of innocence.

“You two play nice,” she chirped, and then shot an entirely un-Susan-like pointed glare in Stan’s direction. “Don’t go biting each other’s heads off!”

“Yeah, yeah,” Stan muttered. He shot a glance over at Ford, and then turned back to Susan. “Hey, how ‘bout I walk you to the door?”

Susan canted her head to one side, narrowing her eyes suspiciously at Stan with a strange little smile. “You know I’m not going away forever, right, silly?”

Stan shook his head, biting his bottom lip. “I know, but -” He looked over at Ford again, and didn’t say but I might be. 

It didn’t matter, because Susan’s expression softened anyway, and she leaned forward to rest a hand on Stan’s shoulder.

“You’re not getting rid of me that easy,” she said, gripping Stan’s shoulder and staring deeply into his eyes. “I still haven’t introduced you to Mr. Whiskers.”

Stan cleared his throat.

“And Pumpkin. And Mittens.” Susan gave Stan’s shoulder another squeeze. “And Admiral Pennyworth. And -”

“If you list off the name of every single cat you own, I might actually bite you in the jugular,” Stan interrupted, and Susan laughed, finally letting go of his shoulder.

“I will see you later!” she said, pointing at Stan as she backed away, until she bumped into the wall. She scooted sideways until she found the doorway, and then backed away down the hall, still pointing at Stan.

Stan watched until Susan disappeared out the door. It banged shut behind her, and then Stan was alone in the shack with Ford and the suddenly too-oppressive silence.

Ford’s house was freezing, Stan realised. Without the living people around to warm it up, it was at least as cold as the snow outside. 

Somehow, it felt even colder.

“Stan?”

Stan turned, slowly. He felt a little like he was trying not to be seen or heard, like if he moved too fast or made too much noise then something terrible would find him. 

But the only thing he saw when he turned around was Ford, still slumped in the office chair with his trenchcoat pulled up around his face. He wasn’t looking at Stan, but as Stan turned to face him, he spoke again, and his voice was...small. There was no other word for it. It sounded thin and frightened, like a little kid’s voice, strange and wrong coming out of Ford’s mouth.

“Is it going to burn?”

“What?” Stan said, stupidly. “The sun?”

Ford nodded, pulling his trenchcoat a little tighter around himself. He shut his eyes and swallowed, visibly composing himself, and when he spoke again he sounded more like himself. “Because if it is, we should probably return to the basement. I’ve boarded up the rest of the windows, but I’m certain there’s still plenty of cracks for the light to get in -”

“The sun’s not gonna burn you, Sixer,” Stan said, unsticking his feet from where they felt frozen to the floor to step closer to Ford. “Probably knock you out cold, but it’s not gonna burn you.”

Ford nodded again. He still didn’t look up at Stan.

“The antidote will work,” he said.

“Never said it wouldn’t,” Stan answered. “And then everything goes back to the way it was, right?”

Ford shut his eyes.

“Is that why you’re angry with me?” he managed, like he had to carefully choose each word as it came out of his mouth. “Because I don’t want to be...like you.”

“What?” Stan blinked. “Where’d you get that from?”

Ford didn’t answer.

Stan huffed out a sigh, and levered himself down to sit on the floor beside the office chair. Something cold soaked through the butt of his jeans, and he hissed in a breath, silently hoping that he hadn’t just sat in Ford’s blood even though he knew he had. “Look, I didn’t want this either, I ain’t mad that you don’t. If you can get outta being stuck like this, then take the money and run, pal.”

Ford made a noise that might have been a laugh. Stan took it as a good sign.

“Hey, you got, like, a space heater or anything around here?” he asked, shifting in place. Sitting down felt like sweet relief with the sun dragging its way up the horizon, but sitting on the floor was like sitting on a block of solid ice. “You’re gonna want one. Least until you get all humaned up again.”

Ford shook his head. 

“Is it always this cold?” he asked, so quietly that Stan had to strain to hear him.

Stan shrugged one shoulder.

“Pretty much, yeah,” he said, and Ford winced. 

There didn’t seem to be much of anything left to say after that. Stan waited, patiently, hoping that Ford would suddenly - what? Jump up crying and throw himself into Stan’s arms? Admit that he’d messed up and thank Stan for saving his life? The only thing Ford was gonna do, Stan reminded himself sharply, was pass out. He himself was feeling more and more like just putting his head down and going to sleep by the second.

He had to get out of here before that happened.

Stan groaned as he pushed himself to his feet. It felt like trying to bench-press a ton of lead, but he managed to make it upright, even though he felt himself sway dangerously once he was back on his feet.

“Where’re you goin’?” Ford asked, as Stan started towards the door, and Stan had to stop and refocus on his brother’s face.

“Gotta go get my car,” Stan said, with his best big showman’s smile in Ford’s direction. It felt a little sloppy, but that didn’t really matter. Ford’s eyelids were sagging so bad he probably couldn’t even see it anyway. 

“Not right now,” Ford protested, indignant. 

“Yeah right now,” Stan argued. 

“Why?”

“Because -” Stan considered biting his tongue for all of about half a second, but he was too tired and too fed up to even think about it. “Because if I fall asleep here, then the next thing you know, I’m waking up to your little buddy -”

“Research assistant.”

“Your research assistant dousing you in cinnamon and formaldehyde, and then everything’s right back to the way it was.” Stan spat. “An’ you sure as hell don’t want me hanging around after that.”

Ford blinked owlishly up at Stan. Wrapped up in his coat like that, he even looked younger. It wasn’t fair.

“Why not?” he asked, and Stan clenched his jaw, looking around for something convenient to throw.

“Why not - you were the one who said you wanted things to go back to the way they were! Well, that’s how things were for me! You sitting pretty in your - okay, creepy, neglected, but still pretty nice house, doing whatever weird-sciencey stuff it is you do, while I just hit the road until you need me again!” 

Ford blinked some more. Stan was pretty sure he was just trying to keep his eyes open. 

“That wasn’t,” Ford started, and then sucked in a breath and tried again. “Stan. I didn’t realise -”

“Yeah, because you don’t think about anybody other than yourself, do you?” Stan snapped. The look on Ford’s face almost made him regret it. Almost. “You got your stupid house and your stupid journals and your stupid - antidote - and all I got is a fifteen-year-old car and the clothes on my back and a boot in the behind! And you don’t care! You never cared! Not once, in ten years, did you wanna see me or even talk to me, until you needed me for something! And now you got what you want, and you don’t need me anymore.”

It was like giving that speech had used up the last of the energy Stan was using to stay upright. He sank down to the floor, settling on his knees beside the chair Ford was curled up in, and stayed there, too tired to move.

In the silence that descended, Stan could swear he could hear the pipes rattling in the walls. Or maybe that was mice.

“I told myself you were fine.”

It took an enormous effort to raise his head, but Stan did, looking up at his twin. “Huh?”

Ford stared into the middle distance, blinking his eyes open every few seconds. Stan could understand the feeling - his own felt impossibly heavy, and the fever ache was starting to settle into his joints. “Ma always said you’d be all right. You had personality. I never thought -”

His voice cracked, and Ford swallowed. “I never thought you’d want to see me again.”

Stan opened his mouth, and then shut it again. His brain felt like it was taking a million years to process what his ears had just heard. It couldn’t possibly have been real.

"I thought you never wanted to see me again," he finally managed. 

The strangled noise that Ford made might have been the ghost of a laugh.

“I missed you,” he said, quietly.

Stan reached up and vaguely patted his brother’s shin. There didn’t seem to be anything else to do. 

"Missed you too," he said, under his breath.

“Maybe we c’n fix th’ annidote t’work on you too,” Ford slurred, sleepily. 

Stan swallowed around the lump rising in his throat. 

“Yeah, yeah, after you wake up,” he said, giving Ford’s shin another pat. He wasn’t expecting Ford to reach out and put his hand over Stan’s, squeezing just slightly.

“Stan?” Ford asked, and Stan looked up, to see his brother’s eyes wide, clearly fighting to stay alert. His words were careful, and slow, but clear. “Stay. Please.”

The lump in Stan’s throat swelled abruptly, until he could swear it was pushing against the backs of his eyes as well, pressing against his tear ducts. 

Despite everything, he realised, he was smiling.

“Thought you’d never ask,” he said.

...

The green exit signs flashed by overhead as the Stanleymobile shot through the city. Headlights streamed past, growing brighter against the gathering dark by the second. Stan checked the map, and then the overhead signs. Two exits before his turn. One exit.

He spared a glance in the rearview mirror, at the city lights starting to bloom against the dark blue of the night sky, a huge, glittering carnival midway behind him. It grew smaller and smaller the further he drove.

The green sign flashed overhead, and Stan swerved sideways onto the exit ramp, coiling down and around until the road suddenly straightened out. Ahead of him, hundreds of miles of highway stretched, up into the unknown. 

Up into the woods where his brother was waiting.

“Oregon, here I come,” Stan said, to no one in particular.

He reached down and adjusted the postcard propped against the dash, and then stepped on the gas.

[ask-fallout-southpark]

Stan:Hey wastelanders! So,we don’t have a picture for this post yet…

Max:The nerd running the blog is too tired to stay up until 1 AM to finish a picture again so no picture..

Stan:But,we wanted to share just some randomass facts about our little crossover-alternate universe since there aren’t any questions to answer at this point…

Max:Well,there is one,but it’s for this person named Wendy who Stan knows,but I don’t.This Wendy isn’t open for questions yet,as stated it’s only me ‘n Stan,so yeah,no questions.

Stan:And we’re bored.

Max:Sheila has a four-drinks-per-customer thing so we don’t even have alcohol or anything.

Stan:Thus,have some boring pointless facts.These are about all the characters,some locations,some shenanigans we get up to later down the line.This doesn’t mean the characters are open for questions yet,you’ll have to be patient for that.

In this universe,a lot of characters that have died in the show or have little screen time make appearences,like Chef,Christophe,Gregory,Damien and Pip.

Kenny is still immortal

Will we have giant guinea pig like creatures and robots attacking? Yes

So,some time after the gang meets the Freeside and Vegas dwellers,Stripe and Sparky get kidnapped {petnapped?} by some Freeside thugs/raiders.Max,along with Craig,Kenny and Scott {weird choice I know} go on a mission to track them down and save the animals.Originally Max wanted to go on his own.He didn’t mention it to anyone else.When everyone was asleep,he snuck out to go get the animals back.To his surprise he found Craig sneaking out on the same mission.”Are you fucking kidding me?” is all Craig could say when the duo stumble into Scott,who was just patrolling the area before heading to bed and Kenny,who was smoking outside {and checking out the Vegas ladies}.They couldn’t lie,and so the four went on the mission.It was a good thing Scott was with them,because with his tracking skills,he tracked the raiders to a building on the outskirts of Westside.They took the truck just because there were some Vegas brats trying to graffiti it,and to ram into the door if it was needed.Long story short,they find out it’s an underground dog fighting ring,with one or two animals mixed in between.They saved Sparky and Stripe,met Hunter and found Rex,Clyde’s dog who has been lost for a few months.They got most of the dogs on the truck and took them to a sanctuary outside Novac,which took the whole night.Tired,Max decided that the whole crew has an off day,where everyone can go do what they want to,whether it be giving the truck a new paint job and fixing it up or getting some treats for the pets.{One can expect a oneshot of this in the future}

I find it funny that Gregory was given the role of Daniel and Christophe the role of Joshua {Honest hearts},since Christophe has a huge thing against God,while Joshua is pretty religious.

It’s still not decided who shot Max

Which South Park characters will/will possibly take on the roles of faction leaders?

NCR - Mayor McDaniels

Legion - Mr. Garrison {Just so we can rid the world of him} 

Brotherhood of Steel - Stephen Stotch {Butters’ dad}

Followers of the Apocalypse - Possibly PC Principal

The Boomers - Gerald Broflovski {Kyle’s dad - just because of that ‘ultimate’/attack in TFBW}

Vegas {Mr.House} - ?? {Maybe Randy? That wouldn’t make sense tho…unless Mr.House died to Randy and Randy just took over,pretending to be the legend for a year or two,eventually believing he is him,and continuing with his goals to take over the Mojave.}

Independant Vegas - Max {with the help of Yes Man}

Great Khans - ??

The Kings - The King {obviously.Not sure who’d take on that role.Mr Mackey?}

Carnies - ?? {Maybe one of the vamp kids?}

Cartman is still called Fatass by the others

Max knows a few swear words in other languages.

Eventually there’ll be a poll or something to determine which other ships will be in the AU,and who Max’s love interest’s gonna be {If he’s gonna have one}

With the boys being a lot older,their personalities changed a little,but not much.Cartman’s still an asshole,Craig still doesn’t care,etc

There are a lot more casinos ‘n shit than there is ingame.Chef owns a casino,Mr.Kim has one,Mr.Slave ‘n Al have one,who ever shot Max has one

We’re going Mad Max on this one in saying that there are cars,trucks,busses,motorcycles and four wheelers that are drivable.Raiderified/raider proof,but drivable.Just because it’s strange how these wastelanders have actual flying helicopers {vertibirds},managed to get a plane that was at the bottom of a lake for 200 years to fly, and a giant ass robot that talks,but don’t know how to fix up old cars.

Independant Vegas here we come

Stan and Wendy were together for a good 3 or 4 years before making the decision to remain best friends.There’s a whole story behind that,but,that’s for another time.These two would literally die for each other.

Some religions managed to stay alive for 200 years.There are new ones too…some are just really weird,like for example,the Children of Atom.

Can you believe Kyle’s mom sent her kids off to boot camp and became the leader and bartender in a little ghost town?

Will Craig ‘n Tweek eventually have their wedding? Absolutely

Max has amnesia from the shots to the head,but,as his journey continues,he starts remembering more,like his past.Why his parents sent away to be a courier,why they didn’t even bother to go look for him,why the Divide got blown to bits.

It’s not clear what Terrance and Phillip’s roles are gonna be.Maybe they should lead the Khans.

Kenny and Stan have a drinking contest while in Jacobstown and Stan manages it better than Kenny.The townspeople asked the crew to remove Kenny from the town.

Wendy has in fact,beaten up a deathclaw.

The siblings of the characters also make their appearances,all in different locations.Ike almost always follows after Kyle,so he’s part of the crew {the main crew,who travels the wastes with Max}.

Ike tried to help Christophe get over his fear of dogs.It was partially successful.

Another Ike one - Ike has a penpal.He writes letters to this penpal when he’s not training.Little does he know,it’s Firkle.He discovers this while the crew’s in Jacobstown.

Some alternate outfits for the crew have parts from their superhero/humans ‘n elves costumes.

Max:A’right,that’s enough facts and rambling.While I don’t expect this to be of use to anybody,it’s at least more fun than sitting here staring at this blue eyed companion of mine.

Stan:Maybe we should post some story stuff tomrrow,like how we met? 

Max:That could be a fun experience.Maybe we should also see if we can get a better profile pic up.Maybe one of you,me and the dog?

Stan:Max,it’s already a pain in the ass to draw us.How the hell is she gonna draw Sparky?

Max:Determination?

Stan:That could work.

Max:Honestly,there are a ton more,cooler AUs out there.Why do we exist?

Stan:I think you should get some rest.Sheila gave us the keys so we can stay here.Just have to lock up.

Max:But I don’t want to sleep.I’ve been out cold for a few days.The dirt nap was good enough.

Stan:You have to get some rest,Max.Whether it’s sleeping on the table,on one of the seats,or on the bar itself,or on the floor if you really want to.I’ll even put out my sleeping bag for ya.

Max:What about right here,next to you?

Stan:I wouldn’t advise that.People might start shipping us…or worse…they might attack you.We’ve got a lot of Style and Stendy shippers,and some others like Stutters and Staig.

Max:Why do people always assume two people are dating when they’re just in the same place?

Stan:That’s this hellsite in a nutshell…so..just get some rest or whatever.I’ll answer any questions,if there are any,after this.I’ve seen a lot in my life time,so I don’t get intimidated.

Stan’s up for questions,and Max’ll also give some sleepy answers

So many tags to do but I can’t write em all,I apologise.