#i CANNOT do their faces its so hard
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train after a late shift
#struggling w this sm so im jus gonna give up on it lmao#i CANNOT do their faces its so hard#maccadam#transformers#transformers one#tf one#orion pax#d 16#megop#dpax#artists on tumblr#digital art#fan art#art
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good morning sifloop nation
#loop is so fucking hard to draw bc I can never tell how I can center the face on their cookie cutter as head#its literally just a pair of eyes and yet it fucks with me every time 😭#idk what came over me bc suddenly im imagining these two freaks in the funniest scenarios for my own pleasure#im not even halfway thru the game yet im still on act 2 bc I havent been able to play it in a while#genuinely though I am curious as to how ppl would go about describing how u would kiss loop. this isnt even a jab at anyone#in fact I admire whoever pushed their imagination to the limits to find a way to make loop kissable in ways science cannot explain#and other fun activities#I think itd be funny for them to do 7 minutes in heaven bc normally 2 ppl go in to smooch or whatever in the closet#in their case two of them go in but only one of them comes out alive. bc theyre like that#are they fighting or are they fucking. the answer is up to you#sifloop#myart#my art#in stars and time#isat#isat fanart#isat loop#isat Siffrin#Siffrin#loop#doodles#shitpost
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short king and his shorter kings
#pizza tower#pepstavo#peppinoise#i sketched it out WEEKS ago#but w me almost finishing this godawful comm i felt compelled to do something for Me#i cannot wait to finish; i have a couple of forms sitting there collecting dust but im too overwhelmed w this shitty comm-#-to even attempt to tackle those. i need to scrub my brain and start fresh. but after i finish it lmao#anyway hey. hope everyones okay and vibin#dont take this seriously but also. heehee.#in hindsight i feel like i need to bump gustavos head up a lil bit but weh#not too compelled to fix it.#additional context that i think is fun; gus is just a touchy dude and he finds all kinds of reasons to pick peppino up#and every time peppino is like SO flustered and shocked bc itll be in the view of customers#like some sports team wins and its on their tvs and ppl are hootin n hollerin#and like people will notice and keep cheering and its alot hes like oh my GOD u cannot keep doing that im going to explode and then die#noise will do it to prove he can do it and then his back snaps in two bc he weighs like 80 lbs (36kg)#but for like a brief moment of time he is facefirst in tummy and hes ecstatic#theo it is not funny to be rushed to the er bc u broke ur back#also suggestive (but funny i prommy)#but he absolutely would be that like girl who needed a neckbrace from having her gf accidentally sit on her face too hard#hes like ouuuuhhghh....that was worth it. how long will it take to recover doc bc i wanna do it again :)#meanwhile. i think if that happened peppino would literally go into hiding. ur not finding him.#it would literally haunt him that he nearly killed this rat w his fat ass#as if this is not the way both gus and noise would like to go out. it would be peaceful for them i think#anyway#runs away cutely; see u in two weeks maybe
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I'm trying really hard not to just be The Complainer because that's an energy I don't want to bring here when I love (present tense; I rewatch it like 5 times a day) arcane season 1 so much but does anyone remember when powder was taken in by silco and being raised by this very utilitarian merciless 'the ends justify the means' type character made jinx turn out violent and merciless as well. and vi was horrified by her and the lanes were terrified of her and piltover was falling over itself trying to scapegoat her as the one bad apple of the undercity to kid themselves into believing that everyone else was perfectly fine with being treated as less than. and that contrasts vi after vander etc. died because she was raised by him and internalised the idea that no one wins in war and fighting back against systemic oppression isn't worth the damage it causes to your own community which is why she ended up working with cait and the council like vander worked with grayson. the people who raised them shaped them into who they are today but then in season 2 jinx has a daughter and she's suddenly completely normal and well adjusted and her attachment style isn't digging her nails in until she draws blood at all. like What. what happened. didn't things used to mean something
#arcane#arcane critical#powder was raised by vi more than vander#she barely spoke to him#and powder always cared more about vi's reaction than the dead parents on the ground 2 feet away from her#which does a lot to explain 'I am the monster you created' when season 1 was so heavy on children being shaped by their parents#vi did eldest daughter syndrome too hard. vander told her it was her fault if things went wrong and then most of her family died#vi having a momentary bad reaction to her little sister causing all of this and realising that vander was right about violence#because she's so used to it that she just hit powder in the face and made her nose bleed and it seeped into every aspect of her life#and needing to step away for a moment and just feel and cry and be a child#ruined everything and it's always framed as her 'abandoning' powder (which I understand how powder would see it that way#because I'm such a youngest sister that's my first thought too. I have to remind myself that's Not What's Happening. also powder has bpd#she demonstrably cannot handle what she perceives as rejection or abandonment or betrayal or the truth being withheld)#vi has to do So Much. why is everything her fault. I so adore how much she wants to look after powder because of course she does#but jinx isn't seven anymore. she doesn't want to be treated like the helpless little girl she was that day. she's an adult#she had to nuke the council for vi to understand that she isn't the same anymore#and she's responsible for her own actions#ITS ALL SO GOOD ITS SOSOSOSO GOOD I LOVE SISTERS#*correction: I believe jinx is vaguely a teenager in s1. not an adult (being imprisoned by piltover would be as wrong as when she was 7)#but not vi's kid sister anymore either
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I don't often post my non kink related art but I'm tryna get the attention of someone else in the community and am too shy and cringe to reach out so. Here, have this portrait I did of Hanzo Shimada. With my finger. On ibis paint. This took me four hours. Progress for proof below.
#we have so many similar interests and im trying to not be cringe about that 🧍♂️#hi im autistic and some people are really really hard to reach out to lol#anyways ove/watch fandom please don't look at my fat kink blog i cannot handle normie anon hate rn#plus id. what u think bc u play OVE/WATCH#idc* oops#not retyping all that#and if you have seen this art on animo and noticed i updated my signature no u didnt!!!#i dont want people on amino knowing im a fat guy that thinks it hot to get fatter#let me be kinky in peace#hanzo#hanzo art#hanzo shimada#hanzo fanart#overwatch fanart#watch either get no notes at all like all my other art or spark the first fatphobic harassment campaign against me bc i dared#to post out my uaual tags#anyways#artists on tumblr#trans artist#overwatch#my art ALWAYS gets ignored its such a SHITTY FUCKING FEELING !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! thats WHY I NEVER POST IT !!!!!!!!!!!!#but whatever im not normal and need to make friends somehow#when people learn to give the attention my art is worth ill post more#but yall on this site NEVER. do ( at least on ever blog I had before this one)#i just dobt post much of it here bc whats the point? no one gives a shit about my intrests and skillls#im just. pretty face to look at#and thats all ill ever be or amount to#bi polar ramblings ig ig ig
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thursday quest - no physical therapy today - make and eat lunch sooooo early but i can do it!!!!! - get ready for wedding - attend wedding! yay! (: - decompress well when i get home <3
#its thursday quest#god i'm so anxious about it autism style. so many uncertainties that i simply cannot account for alone. but i'm being sooo 'brave' about it#(keeping it to myself. except for posting about it)#taxi company hasn't texted me the drivers' details yet and i emailed them to be like ummmm your policy is to pay before the day#would you like to email me the payment details so i can do that? and they were like 'we'll send the driver details soon' ummmm#there isn't much soon left!!!!!!! it's happening tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!!!!#they're probably just not Organised™ in the way i prefer to be. which is objectively fine it's just challenging for me personally.#i do not think it's Bad but!!!!! i've never taken a taxi before <- guy who Is Scared Of Taxis Specifically but has to face#their fears because they're disabled and have no other choice.#worst case i am down the money and no-one arrives to take me home i guess :P but it'll be afternoon AND my family are there so#in theory i could just get a lift home even though that would mess up other people's plans sooooo bad. UNLESS they have already drunk uhhhh#in which case i guess i'd just ask for help calling a taxi to the place. plany of people who can do such things easily (unlike me)#it'll be fine!!! i can ask my siblings if need be bc they are so niceys and will not get mad at me for being autistic o7#My other worry is being too hot and being in a rush getting ready bc i have to eat a proper meal due to the symptoms syndromes#and we are leaving when my lunch usually is so that's a whole thing. which ALSO doesn't matter and I can do! it's just hard!#where is that post that's like 'managed mental illness can look like absence of mental illness 😅'. NOT saying being autistic is mental#illness i am saying that the specific extreme anxiety i have is for me linked to autistic issues with 'the unknown' and boy. does this#social situation also have a lot of unknown.#BUT I CAN DO IT! and dare i say even have a nice time!!!!! it's just i get so so scared beforehand but i will not express it in a way that#impacts or inconveniences anyone else!!! i can handle it by myself at my house and it'll be fine
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ok i like rushed through the whole orv webtoon way too fast so now i have thoughts going in like 5 different directions but ep121-123 drive me so fucking insane actually. every time i think about those two conversations i have to sit down
#orv#orv liveblog#like i feel like depictions of childhood abuse in fiction tend to depiction the relationship as some version of#'the one evil violent parent and the one good parent trying their best (it wasnt good enough)'#see: the twins parents from lc s2 is the obvious one but also like#going back to my roots lol but enji and rei todoroki? or hell even fire lord ozai and ursa#yknow theres this idea of like theres the one who was trying! and the one who fucked it all up#well yeah rei's the one who scarred her sons face but thats so obviously framed as like a trauma response outside of her control#like its not something youre reeaally meant to blame her for yknow#the WHOLE idea with kim dokja's conversation with yoo sangah is whether he's supposed to blame/forgive lee sookyung#wait ok those conversations drive me so insane like im feeling the alevel literature urge to fuckin close read quotes#that one line where he thinks like this is the vilest form of violence he can use against sangah goes by SO fast but it hit me SO hard#the idea of asking her to put herself in this nightmare situation she has no frame of reference for understanding or empathising with#and then asking her as someone who she rly cares about! to be the judge in this situation she cannot possibly fully grasp#and all of that being framed as an act of violence towards her. like asking her to do this knowing she cant possibly do it#but also 'did you want me to seem pleased to see you' 'a little (lie)' and 'do you think of me as a mother' 'a little (lie)'#like the pretense of a normal relationship over the yeah we know our relationships fucked over the#unfortunately we still talk and think in the same way and we understand each other way too well#ok wait but circling back to the original point. i saw this fucking incredible fanart on twitter that sort of goes into the like#how do you?? handle?? not knowing if youre supposed to blame your parent for something that they did that hurt you#like its this little animation thing thats all in kdj's internal monologue except for one line where its him saying#'im terrible. i deserved what she did to me'#and its like. yeah that would be easier huh. like the self loathing is easier to handle than the confusion and cognitive dissonance#full disclosure i saw that fanart literally a year ago before i knew jack shit about orv and the sentiment hit me SO HARD i just#havent been able to stop thinking about it for a whole year. like as soon as i finished 123 i immediately went to look for it in my archive#i checked the artist has a tumblr but that art is not on it and it bugs me so much i want them to know that they somehow like#managed to make art so painful it defeated both my non-orv reading self and my lifelong severe memory problems#i mean in comparison that line (that also went by alarmingly fast) about how without twsa back then like kdj would not be here today#like not so much to dig into just. Yikes#and him telling ysa all of this with that fucking smile on his face like thats the part that really gets to me just his *fucking expression
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the girl who hands me my coffee every week looks noticeably younger than me but keeps calling me honey and frankly if it wasnt a drive thru situation and i wasnt always running late for work id already have been like man what's all that about
#she cannot be more than 19 or 20 and frankly i do NOT look 19#i do have one of those nebulous faces where its hard to tell where in my 20s i am but that girl looks like extremely young#im being generous when i say 20 she could be 16. so whats all this then
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for an akifuyu stan i sure do struggle to draw autumn and winter troupe
#chibi wise my main challengers are juju and tasuku ( mostly bc of the hair )#but my big boy style?? hoo boy#banri is usually fine but his eyes and face shape are hard to keep consistent#juzas hair and build give me problems and so does his eye shape#taichis hair is like. controlled fluffy. i can never get it quite right#sakyos hair ( ESPECIALLY his bangs ) are dumb and stupid and i hate them ( i hate drawing short straight hair )#im getting used to omis hair its mostly his face and build that i struggle with now#azamis mostly alright but his half up hair gives me trouble#tsumugis hair is horrible i hate drawing it ( ignore all the stoatmugis ive drawn its DIFFERENT )#tasuku. where do i even start.#his hair is stupid his facial proportions are wack#i cant draw his build and i cannot for the life of me get his nose to look right#i cant decide on a definitive color pallete for him#ive only finished two pieces with him there and unless i am asked i have no plans on increasing that number#( im so sorry nocturnality )#homare is mostly face proportions. and that long fringe messes me up sometimes#plus i try to make him more lean but since i usually draw him w hiso and/or azu he just ends up getting twinkified#i THINK i understand how hisokas hair works. i think.#i do still struggle with azus ponytail. . .#its not fluffy like nagisas so you cant see it unless its over his shoulder and sometimes i just cant draw it right#plus even tho its easier than sakyos bc its longer. its still straight. and i am not good at drawing straight hair.#guy im ALSO mostly used to now its really just making sure he does in fact look older#and not just like. a twink i drew tear troughs and dark circles on yk#part of that is his face shape. i THINK i got it down now but i def need to practice more#alongside the whole 'glasses character without glasses' thing#yeah#not akifuyu but tenma is also a HUMONGOUS pain in the ass to draw#i hate his hair so much#now that i think about it the only ones i can draw satisfactorily are haru 😭😭
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some1 left a tag on the 9yuuji piece saying that the way i draw him makes him look mischievous and i got so stupidly happy abt it :'>
#hina.txt#i say as i just drew him ripping sukunas face off and Eating It GHJFS#that is a brand of mischief i make the rules#but u dont understand i try SO hard#and i cannot stress this enough#so INCREDIBLY hard#to channel Boy energy into yuuji when i draw him#and fr that reason hearing him described as mischievous made my whole entire afternoon#and theyre right i think !!!!#if i do say so myself !!!!!#if i had to guess what creates tht impression i would imagine its the pointy eyes i give him n the more triangular jaw in general#makes him look kinda wry sometimes kinda Quirked Eyebrow.png#and depending on the piece i think the expressions i give r also very Laughing Eyes#anyway ya i got happy that is all goodnight ! 2am oopies
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buffy the vampire slayer, 1.07 angel / richard siken, snow and dirty rain
#good god i hate how this scene is lit and generally the way its filmed made this hard i don't want to see a man's face so close sorry db#btvs#angel#buffy summers#bangel#btvsedit#sorry i CANNOT stop putting text on top of buffy screenshots i truly cant#i do have btvs as snow and dirty rain in my phone notes its so important to me#this scene and then the darla scene oh i'm crazy about it
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really emotional and dramatic wx proposal scenes in fics are nice but I also don't think they really need one. they seem like the kind of couple that just knows that once they get together, this is it. and big weddings don't really seem to be their style either. a family celebration and public displays seem to be the appeal of a lot of big weddings, but their relationship has been so much about each other than about like, demonstrating their relationship to the world or even joining each other's families. the reason lwj publicly supports wwx is to protect him, and maybe a very public wedding would help that in canon, but if it was up to them I think they're really just the type to elope like in the book
#proposal scenes are nice for like reaffirming commitment and stuff but there's so much performance that goes into a lot of them#especially the western-style ones I see a lot of#that I absolutely cannot see lwj either doing or being comfortable being the recipient of#for all his public displays of support his relationship w and interactions w wwx have all been very intimate and private#wwx is a little showier but in a proposal situation it would have to be VERY private imo#ugh its hard since they ARE sooo dramatic but a lot of their public-facing drama has been forced by circumstance#and they mange to make ostensibly public moments private anyway (koi tower confession and second seige discussion)#ficblogging
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grumbling sigh. no thoughts. just the tragedy of yves today actually. despite finding out his whole identity is a lie and he's been lying to himself abt everything actually, he was so normal today. he nearly decided to fuck shit up just to get the final pieces of the worldkiller mech, but last minute decided to show up at elias's door at like 2 am and was like "heeeeyyyyyy sorry i didnt respond to your messages for a few days. you wanna help me with something lollll teehee :3"
and honestly? it was good. it was good for him. he needed that. its going to be crash and burn after this babeeeyyyyy
#hes trying so hard to push it out the forefront of his mind#so fucking hard#but it is there!#he genuinely cannot forget the past. its come for him#all he can do is postpone the next severe breakdown and keep himself distracted with silly things. distractions#i think. too. i think he kind of cares about elias now. its complicated#sighs.#like my friend said. its the only time where he vaguely feels. himself.#but yeah i have no fucking idea what him and elias did bc#they woke up in bed with half of their faces numb. the both of them#and also ppl referring to yves and elias as mistresses#what the fuck did you guys do last night
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ohh I do want to pass away why am I so stupid
#mine#🎸#why am i such a terrible person 😇 genuinely what the fuck#me when i want to cry and tear my skin off over a minor mistake ufhdshdjfjg can i stop being fucking stupid for once#crying over a mistake right NOW actually everything is so difficult i dont know what im supposed to do in these situations!!!!!!!#i get in trouble for not knowing what to do in social situations then i have to apologize and i didnt know THAT either.#bashing my head against the wall violence maiming killing death torture bloodletting slicing tearing defenestrating murdering annihilating#me anmd my epic autism powers. shouldnt i know better why csnt you understand!!! who is at fault here! i dont even know#ashshsjdksjfklsfke im wanna cry so hard everything sucks right now im too busy for this shit. for Emotions#why are you punishing me do you hate me?! did you never even like me at all are you trying to make me mad!!! why#im so tired and frustrated i want everything to go perfectly but its not nothing can be perfect in this terrible world he is going to hate#me now. hell why do i have urges like this it always ruins everything im being so selfish arent i aren't i arent i !!!!!!!! why cant we#be FUCKING compatible and perfect snd everything what is the problem am i the problem?!?? why cant you understsnd what im trying to tellyou#maybe it really would just be better if i died nothing good has happened or is going to happen to me since he probably hates me and#my life sucks!!!!! my face hurts from crying i cant cry properly it hurts it feels so hot why cant it end already!!!!!!! why cant#we be perfect like we are supposed to why cant you UNDERSTAND it seems easy to understand to ME whwueh i am mortified my throat hurts#my head hurts i hate this world why couldnt i resist why did i have to be vulnerable id be better off if. well i dont know#i do want to crush bones and flesh beneath my hands to be honest i dont KNOW i thought it was going well i thought it was good#the thread i am hanging on by is quite thin actually why do i care so much why do i care so little im going to explode right meow!!!#my mood is so ruined i dont know if im even used to this whole thing i cannot get in particular moods im so. rgrhrhggr none of this post#is going to make sense i just need to say words while crying then itll be fine probably#this is just another one of god's little tests i think that everyone will hate me no matter what in the end so i have to enjoy it while#it lasts. no matter how hard i try everything always ends up the same way. all this started because of my mistakes and itll end with them
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ahhh fuck my gay faggot life
#i have 2 do my t but i lefit just got out of rhe shower so it will be wet and normally id be like Ugh whatever but i have to wake up early#tmrw for Stupid uber reasons im so exhausted all the time i need 5000000 weeks off and i also want to fly into the sun#i just like im gonna be real everyrhing feels so insanely pointless. i fucked up everything and i tried so hard to get better snd i Did for#a couple weeks and then i fucked up and now i feel so . auhfgjfhrjfbfjfnrnfnjrntjfn#i wish it was snowing and i could go lay face down in the snow and cry for a bit. this would hurt my nose but its a good activity#and then i could lie face ul in the snow and stare at the sky. sighhhh. god life is hell im gonna be honest i cannot live laugh love in#these fucking conditions.
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oh my god they released the fucking renfield movie in brazil.fucking amazing now everyone here can know about pop psychology and start commiting even MORE hate crimes against the mentally ill
#analiceoriginal.txt#do you see why the ableism in it isnt an aside to me now.its not a silly unfortunate hate crime its actually gonna make people fucking#buy into that bullshit.id literally rather they had just said an ableist slur in it once than convincing viewers of how people w pds are#the source of all evil and abuse i genuinely hate that movie so fucking much#delete later#someones gonna get hurt because of this bullshit i just fucking know it.i hope it flops so hard#like SO comically hard the writers never show their faces in public again#im sorry i cannot just see the ableism as an unfortunate aside that is gonna just contribute to ableist bullshit its a center theme#i unironically cant trust anyone who likes it bc of that shit.im sorry unless you have a pd that suffers ableism yourself#i cannot see why youd tolerate that
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