#i CANNOT KEEP HAVING THE SAME CONVERSATIONS
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and also based on this comment section, i feel the need to clarify that even if you have a HBO Max subscription already,,, it's still doing harm???
we get so caught up in mass change that we make no change. we get so caught up in this idea that by doing something we change everything, when that's not the case.
everybody on earth could boycott. the reboot could get 0 streams and she would still be a transphobic piece of shit because whilst, yes, boycotts are about mass change, we can't change a person's morals and her pockets are already fully lined.
what you can do, is stick to your own morals. because mass change isn't the only worthwhile change.
one person not watching the show does not make a tremendous impact, of course not. but one person posting about it online and receiving 10k+ likes? that makes a difference. that makes a different to how safe people feel, that makes a difference to those 10k people who now feel justified in engaging, that makes a difference to the people IN these spaces who want to facilitate a welcoming community.
and yessss, there's no ethical way to engage. i can talk about jkr as much as i want on tiktok and yet when i post about her characters, it is promotion.
it's about doing the least amount of harm possible. because one post and one comment section of people saying how easily they'd abandon their morals for some content? That makes a change.
that makes a massive change to how welcome we feel in these spaces.
and i am so Tired of the "one person doesn't make a difference" mentality - we've all been there! i've said it too.
but (1) nobody is asking you to be the only person to do it, that's why we have these conversations. (2) it's evidently not one person when everybody falls into this mindset,,, maybe something could be done? (3) that's what you say, and then you go to facilitate talks. you don't use it as an excuse to do nothing and cause harm
and most importantly, one person can.
you can make a difference in your corner. you can make a difference with the people around you, with your account, in this space etc etc. you can not talk about the reboot, you can delete pro-jkr comments, you can make it clear where you stand (and not even loudly! you don't have to be loud about it, you just have to be Consistently On Our Side)
we desperately need to free ourselves from the idea that mass, widescale change is the only valuable change and instead start thinking about all the small, seemingly insignificant changes we could make that have a massive impact on a fandom space.
because you can make a difference. to the people around you, and to the space you're engaging in. it's just that you're too focused on alterating everything that you don't recognise the other ways you're causing harm.
harm is harm. no matter how indirect. and i really wish people got that.
at the end of the day, i don't care who watches it. you do you, i'll simply know you're not someone to associate with. but i DO care who posts about it, because then it's abundantly clear that you have no respect for this space, or our comfort. you just want some likes,,,
i don't care who watches it, i care that i have to sit back and see people show just how little they truly care about our existence if they get some sparkly new content.
(and p.s. streaming on HBO Max even with a sub,,, still gives her money? "we were already involved in the maki-" then idk. delete your subscription? or don't add more money to her pocket? stop making excuses and hiding behind "roadblocks" that are literally poorly placed traffic cones that you can move)
i am ONE minor inconvenience away from deleting my account i am going INSANE
make it worth it for WHO??? FOR WHOOOOO 😭😭😭
#sorry im going INSANE#i CANNOT KEEP HAVING THE SAME CONVERSATIONS#and yes yes im a hypocrite#im complaining about how these talks dont make mass change#but the amount of 'follow back' buttons in that comment section#has royally pissed me off#okay im done ranting#robyn's jkr yaps#fuck jkr#anti jkr
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I can’t stop thinking about a TMA fic idea where, instead of going Somewhere Else at the end of the series, Martin wakes up back in the safe house the morning the world ended.
Jon doesn’t remember anything. Neither, it seems, does anyone else. Martin checks the statements they’ve received and finds Elias’ message in the top file, exactly where he had expected it. In classic Martin fashion, he promptly commits arson and discards of the ashes. If none of this feels quite real, then at least it is a pleasant dream. It’s been so long since he’s dreamed like this.
Martin and Jon have a lovely, quiet day. They walk over to see the cows. They eat together, and Martin prepares tea. Jon knows something is wrong, but Martin brushes it off, blaming his strange mood on nightmares. It’s been a rough few years, and even rougher few months. If Martin seems a bit… off, well, it only makes sense.
Moreover, something in Jon doesn’t want to know what Martin is hiding. Something in him so deeply yearns to keep its eyes shut.
That night, they go to sleep, side by side. Jon lies across from Martin, relatively human and relatively happy and, most importantly, alive. Martin falls asleep tracing the scars on his hands.
The next morning begins like any in the safe house. Martin wakes up and wanders over to the kitchen to make some tea, while Jon follows him, still fighting off sleep. The morning light through the windows sets everything aglow and as Martin opens up the cupboard, he couldn’t be happier… until his hand brushes empty air.
“… Jon?”
“Hm?”
“Where’s the tea we bought yesterday?” At this point he knows. But he has to be sure. And when Jon looks up at him, confused, and tells him that they ran out yesterday and certainly didn’t purchase any more, that they were planning to buy some today, Martin felt that truth solidify in his stomach like a stone.
Jon sees the change in Martin’s expression and this time he almost asks - but that same part of him that covered his eyes earlier now rears up and nearly chokes him. He doesn’t want to know.
“Martin? What-”
Martin doesn’t give him the chance to finish. In seconds, he’s out the door, crumpling Elias’ message as he walks.
That day is quiet and difficult, filled with arguments and half-asked questions, obviously false answers. When they fall asleep, Jon is turned away. Martin stares up at the ceiling until sleep claims him.
The next day seems a bit dimmer. He stays in bed with Jon as long as he can, feeling the steady thrum of his pulse, the warmth of his breath, as they hold each other in the quiet morning.
Days pass, then weeks. Martin learns every path by heart, every conversation, at first precious, eventually made dull by repetition. Sometimes, he’s able to smile. Sometimes, he admits that he can feel the Lonely rolling over him like the tide. (What could be lonelier than going through such an experience, and being unable to talk about it? What could be lonelier than knowing that, no matter what, everything you do today will be forgotten tomorrow?) Jon can offer comfort, but he cannot ask why that comfort is needed. He cannot know.
In the end, Martin wakes up early. He puts Elias’ message in his pocket and goes into town, buying tea and pastries and two pairs of comfortable walking shoes.
They share a warm breakfast together, as a thick white fog hangs around the cabin. Martin finishes his tea, and places the statement on the table when Jon isn’t looking.
“I’m going to go for a walk.”
“In this fog?” Jon looks out the window, and in his eyes, Martin sees the reflection of the Lonely. He gets up and walks over.
“I just want to stretch my legs. I’ll be back before lunch, alright?”
Jon meets his gaze, and if some communication passes between them, it is swiftly buried by the fog. “Alright. I need to take a statement anyway.”
Before leaving, Martin bends down and kisses him, just once.
“I love you.”
“I love you too.”
Martin steps out into the mist and walks, walks and walks until the world ends.
#I just feel the strong urge to put Martin in a time loop#it’s been a while since I’ve written fic (let’s face it it’s been a while since I’ve written much of anything)#so I don’t know if I’ve quite caught their voices#I also don’t know if I’ll have the time to actually write anything for this but I had to get the idea down#maybe martin can stop Jon from killing Elias this time… maybe not… who can say?#the magnus archives#martin blackwood#madbard writes
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People complain all the time about shorter replies not giving them enough to work with, but I would much rather know quickly that there's not much to reply to than have to dig through 2K words first to discover the same thing. Being a good RP partner in this regard isn't just about giving your partner something to read; it's about teamwork, and passing the baton in such a way that it's rewarding and possible for both of you to pick it up. Someone using my muse as a springboard to write thousands of words about their own muse in every reply, while not bothering to actually interact with mine and forcing me to constantly make all the hooks if I want to do anything but stand there, makes me feel way more insulted and disrespected than someone's replies being short because they were low on spoons, or having trouble getting into the rhythm of the scene. (Or because it was appropriate! Sometimes a long reply just does not work for a particular moment or scene!) Moar Words does not fix someone being checked out of a scene, or treating their writing partner as a content dispenser instead of a person who should also be enjoying the game. They don't make you a better writer, either, and if anything a person with a good ear for writing might find it harder to make longposts for every reply because depending on the scene it is just plain godawful pacing to do so. Thousands of words per character in a non-epistolary framing is an incredibly awkward, unnatural way to write, unless you're doing specific things that work well for some people and are a bloated, disjointed formatting nightmare for others. (For example: I can't begin to tell you how many threads and partners I've given up on because I CANNOT do RP that involves the other person's muse taking five turns' worth of actions in one reply, forcing my muse to take on the load of retroactively responding to each until they've 'caught up' to the present, only for it all to start over again next turn. Often while they keep introducing MORE parallel branches of action and conversation for me to keep up with. AUGH.) Just… just communicate with your RP partners, and make sure you're both enjoying it and able to participate, instead of being obnoxious shitheads about short-form RPers, okay? Please?
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hotch and elle and the killing of their respective 'main' unsubs
if i see one more fucking person say
"oh its so unfair that elle got fired for killing a guy when hotch literally did the same thing and everyone praised him for it"
i think i just might lose it
lets break this down and actually think critically about this
when hotch literally did the same thing
wrong!! what did hotch actually do?
hunted down an escaped (after being arrested and identified) and prolific serial killer that had assaulted him in his own home and targeted his family
listened to said serial killer murder his wife over the phone
entered a literal fight to the death with the serial killer where he had to beat him to death with his bare hands because otherwise both him and his son would have been murdered next
it was self defense. pure and simple. he had no gun, no weapon other than his hands and he knew that if he stepped away, it would be over. there is quite literally nothing else could have done.
what did elle do?
hunted down an uncharged and unconfirmed suspect
tried to provoke him into attacking her
when that didn't work, shot him and planted evidence as well as lie about what happened when the police arrived
did the guy deserve it? absolutely. he was a scumbag and a rapist and deserved to die. but the show makes her actions inexcusable for a reason. you cannot do that as a law enforcement officer. you cannot go and shoot someone who is not actively threatening you, especially not without evidence. additionally, the reason he was uncharged was because she panicked during the undercover mission.
i agree that she definitely wasn't ready for it, and that someone else should have been the bait but she was asked and she confirmed that she would be okay.
"but they should have realised that she would have panicked" why? up until that point, she had been a brilliant agent and had never given any indication that she might not be able to do it. again, she told both hotch and gideon that she'd be fine. why would they doubt her? she's good at her job.
everyone praised him for it
also wrong!! emily and rossi look at him in nothing short of horror when they run in to find him beating foyet to a pulp. even morgan, while comforting him, is obviously disturbed by the scene.
hotch and his team also faced a hearing about the aftermath of the case. it didnt matter that foyet had been stopped and that he and his son were safe, he still had to justify every single action he took.
there's another counterargument here that "well they might not have praised him for it but they understood why he did it" and... yeah? again, self defense.
anyway. this is one of those topics that makes my blood boil. i love elle. do i think they way they never brought her up again was unfair? yes. do i think that the way she suffered because of a choice gideon made was unfair? yes. was she wrong for shooting that guy? honestly i'm kind of glad she did.
but im sick of people saying that their circumstances were the same because they weren't.
people also love to cite misogyny here and while CM has a fair amount of it (dont get me started on the treatment of paget and aj) its not fucking misogynistic to recognize that what elle did was illegal and hotch didn't "get a pass" for what he did just because "hes a man"
TLDR: stop comparing elle and hotch's situations with the intention of pointing out the inequality of their treatments because their situations were in no way comparable.
#rant#sparked by a post of someone pointing this out and they had quotes around the word 'protect' when saying that hotch was protecting jack#fym 'protect' that is quite literally what he was doing#i cannot keep having the same conversation#aaron hotchner#elle greenaway#george foyet#foyet arc#criminal minds#btw this is not elle bashing do not use this as an excuse to do that
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Some tips we were given at work by an immigrant rights organization:
- Ask to see a JUDICIAL warrant. This is a warrant actually signed by a judge that has jurisdiction over your locale, NOT an administrative warrant signed by some middle manager at Homeland Security. ICE will try and pass administrative warrants off as judicial because they are banking on people not knowing the difference. Only a judicial warrant grants them the authority to conduct a search. They cannot enter private property without one.
— Businesses can sometimes fall into a gray area of public vs private property - if your doors are open and anyone can walk in, ICE can come inside even without a warrant, although they still cannot conduct a search. If your workplace is able to, keep your doors closed (and ideally locked) and make it clear that the premises are private property, not open to the public, and only available to clients on appointment (even if this is not strictly true).
- ICE can only legally detain people if they have evidence or probable cause of them having committed a crime. However, right now, this can be as little as having their full name or seeing foreign identification. It is better to carry no ID than foreign ID right now. Most states don’t require you to be able to immediately produce it anyway, and cops can’t force you to show ID if you’re not being detained.
- Keep in mind that being in the country “illegally” is NOT a criminal offense, it is a civil violation. No one is being inherently criminal by being here without the correct paperwork. That being said, the Trump administration and ICE are treating it as a criminal violation. This is not the time to be doing anything except following the letter of the law. Some of the biggest risks are moving violations - don’t do anything that might get you pulled over.
- Don’t say shit. If you are stopped by ICE, don’t say anything to them with the exception of the following four things:
— “Do you have a judicial warrant?”
— “Am I being detained?”
— “I am invoking my right to remain silent.”
— “I am invoking my right to an attorney.”
- EVERYONE in the United States is protected by the Constitution and is entitled to both its enumerated rights and the Miranda rights. Undocumented immigrants are still 100% entitled to an attorney, including a public defender. If anyone tries to tell you otherwise, they’re lying to you.
- If you are not being detained, leave but DO NOT RUN. Running is all the evidence they need to arrest you. It’s going to be scary, but you HAVE to stay calm and WALK away. You do not need to wait for them to dismiss you to leave unless they are actively engaged with you. If you see them talking to someone down the street, you can turn and walk away then, you don’t need to (and shouldn’t) wait for them to get to you. They cannot force you to stay in a place if they aren’t detaining you and don’t have a warrant.
- FOR US WHITE PEOPLE, it is insanely important that we follow these same rules even though we are not the targets of these raids. Don’t do anything to put vulnerable folks in danger. Don’t speak to them more than necessary. Don’t give them any information, even about yourself. Be compliant but not cooperative. Do. Not. Help. Them. Keep them occupied so the people they’re targeting can leave out the back. It is vital that we make it clear where we stand and if need be, weaponize our privilege and our white bodies to protect our immigrant friends.
And really truly internalize this stuff, because you will need it. We were having a fully theoretical conversation about protocol yesterday morning and within five hours, ICE was in town and that theoretical discussion became full reality.
Here's what we know about the deportations.
What to look out for, what to know, and what to do
When I say ICE, I also mean anyone else who could possibly be working with them
Know
- if you are poc at all or even poc presenting, they will come after you as well. It's not only immigrants they are targeting
- they are starting this targeting schools and churches
- Sanctuary states are stepping in to protect their citizens, states that aren't (like Texas) is purposely turning a blind eye and will not help you, please check if you're in a safe state
- teachers are actively stepping in to protect their students
- classrooms and houses count as dwellings, people cannot come in dwellings by force (unless they have a warrant)
- if people mention "winter boots" they mean agents.
Look out
- ICE is in van's, those vans are unmarked and will not be obviously ICE workers
- if you go to school, ICE is (trying) to use social workers and CPS to take away kids, if they come in, watch who they are looking for. (For right now, CPS and social workers are refusing to work with ICE, but I would still be cautious)
- if you have a noticeable poc population wherever you go and live, watch it. Watch if people suddenly go missing or for whatever reason isn't seen for a day or 2
- Look on any form of media for reports of agents
These are the warrants you should be looking for
To do
- Do NOT open the door if ICE or those suspected of working for them come to a dwelling, they will force their way in once you do that. Keep the door closed.
- Do NOT run if you think you see them, running will make them think you are guilty and they will go after you.
- Treat them like cops, because they are. Like cops, you have to be extremely calm and collected with them because cops will use whatever reason they see fit to harm you. Do not yell, touch, raise your voice, and be extremely clear when you talk to them.
- ICE does not have you or anyone's best interest in heart, do NOT try to actually befriend them
- Walk in groups if you or someone you know is poc or an immigrant, it is harder to seclude and take someone if they aren't alone
- Get in touch with your community, it is harder to protect or be protected if you do not know who to be with
- you can legally and SHOULD record and take pictures of agents, once you do that, send those videos and pictures to anyone you know. If you post it to social media (which you should) put down the location they were seen.
It is INSANELY important that if you have any other tips or information that you put them down here.
Protect your fellow person, regardless of if you know or like them.
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entomologists and other ppl who enjoy bugs rn: cicadas do not bite, they are not chasing after you, we promise they do not care about you
ppl who know nothing about cicadas and do not care to learn: um actually you're wrong they keep coming after me
#i swear i cannot keep having the same conversation#cicada#cicadas#17 year cicada#cicada broods#entomology#entomologist#insects#bugs#insect#bug#13 year cicada
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who is that card and chocolate for. what are you hiding girl
#HELP ive been obsessing over this email for THREE YEARS i need someone to explain their theory and throw me back itno reality#how??? does this fit into the fnaf lore istg#gimme theories i CANNOT keep having the same conversation with my brain#ive been hyperfixated. this woman is bringing flowers to deceased michales grave u cannot tell me otherwise. sad woman life#shes going to come find him HGGHH#fnaf#fnaf sb#fnaf security breach#michael afton#fnaf vanessa#fnaf vanny#fnaf movie#fnaf mike#fnaf michael#vanessa afton#fnaf fanart#girl does NOT eat sweets thats like the only other personality trait we get about her. but like WHY
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no im not adding you to the dream smp and if you ask again im killing myself directly in front of you
#and changing the course of your life forever#no but seriously i dont control who joins#im just another guy on the server#like i RUN the server i do the maintenance and stuff#but NO im not adding you and no one else will add you#please stop joining my discord server to ask to join the dsmp 😭#i cannot keep having this same conversation#dream smp novus#dsmp#dsmpn#dream smp#project novus#mcyt
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I did this on bsky earlier and remembered I had it saved in my drafts on here too!
More detail below 👀
She didn’t know Loghrif well, but Gaia was Kass’ senior at the Akadaemia, so they knew each other in passing for centuries. She was friendly with Hythlodaeus, so she was friendly with Azem by association.
Mitron was much the same as Loghrif, someone she was cordially acquainted with from school who she didn’t really see much outside of a formal setting. Azem did, however, secretly side with Mitron in the great ‘when is the fish no longer a fish and actually just taking the piss’ debate.
Azem, Emet-Selch, and Hythlodaeus were married, soulmates, absolutely inseparable. For Azem, it was platonic, for the others, romantic. They were friends from the day they met as children, and even after the Sundering, they cannot part until they return to the Star together.
Azem clashed with Pashtarot a lot, as a notorious rule-breaker, but there was no genuine ill-will. They just found each other frustrating to work with.
Fandaniel was her friend for years, from their time working in Elpis together before either of them joined the Convocation. Azem started to distance herself a bit after she quit her job to travel, and even more her father returned to the Star, but they remained friends until the very end. Hermes was never really certain exactly how he felt towards her.
I don’t think Azem and Altima ever interacted. Even in meetings.
She and Halmarut didn’t talk much, but they did have a close mutual friend in Azem’s sister-in-law, so sometimes they would end up in a social situation together. Having nothing in common, any conversation never made it past the small-talk stage.
Nabriales was her friendly rival, they just liked to fight and compete constantly. The arena from P11 is the Convocation Chamber in its reconfigured state that Azem designed for their matches.
Azem wasn’t certain on where she stood with Igeyohrm. She was Lahabrea’s family, but also Elidibus’ close friend, so she was never sure which direction Igeyohrm veered towards with her.
Deudalaphon was another old friend from before she joined the Convocation, and her old boss - Azem’s original role being part of the Words of Deudalaphon. Her concept specialities fell under their expertise, so they worked together even after Azem took up the mantle of the traveller.
Azem owed Emmerololth her life a hundred times over (due to her tendency to injure herself on duty) so she tried her best to maintain a friendly bond between them out of respect and gratitude.
Lahabrea and Azem vehemently detested each other. They did not agree with how the other operated at all, and neither felt the other should have a seat on the Convocation. In part, it stemmed from the unfortunate relationship that Lahabrea had with Azem’s father, Apollo, when he had been younger. When Azem heard what had happened with Erichthonios, Elidibus had to keep them from trying to kill each other.
Elidibus was like her little brother, she cared for him dearly and had since he was toddling. He looked up to her the way she looked up to Venat - to the point where she was concerned it would interfere with his duties if he took on the role of Emissary.
Venat was a personal hero from the day they met, and over time became her mentor and confidant. Even though Azem felt as though her predecessor could be difficult at times, and she didn’t understand many of her actions especially towards the end, she still loved her all the same.
a convocation relationships chart for all your azem needs ☀️
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anyone else feeling fundamentally incapable of adjusting to society. also just discovered there's a 30 tag limit which i can't believe i've never hit before
#like it was one thing when i was in high school and college like wasn't socialized as a child due to not receiving schooling and growing up#sda blah blah whatever but like i'm almost 27 and i am barely functioning lol like i feel like i'm struggling to have a normal conversation#even more than i used to and i think my speech cadence is noticably off which i don't think it always has been#some of it is definitely from chronic exhaustion from having to get up too early and the stress of having a frequently panic inducing boss#but like. come on now. i can't even drive despite finally having a license because i'm too scared/distractible/poor reaction time#over a dozen antidepressants have not worked. adderall is not working great either#i'm SO much dumber than i used to be and it's driving me quite literally insane#i don't even think it's from getting covid in july because i was noticing it before although it definitely became way more noticeable after#i got this job. i've never been this bad at a job in my life and it's something anyone who knows me would assume i'd be good at#it's embarrassing. i cannot fucking remember anything i struggle to do the most basic of arithmetic to fill prescriptions i make the same#silly mistakes multiple times i am constantly asking stupid questions and still somehow fucking up all the time#it's not as bad as it was a couple months ago and frankly i'm shocked i haven't gotten fired i keep thinking that's going to happen#of course i wanted to quit this job four months ago but now i'm at like a sunk cost fallacy point unfortunately#this is obviously not like any kind of career position for many reasons but i don't know what else to do unless i move across the country#again. i'm not even qualified for anything besides animal related things and summer camp which are fine obviously but not great if you want#things like benefits or paid leave or not to get burned out as hell lmao#i don't even feel like i could do any customer service jobs because i literally struggle to put a coherent sentence together on the spot#everything is so slow. soooo slow i'm literally losing my mind which is catastrophic because my mind is all i've ever had going for me#and i'm having kind of a horrible existence lately which is exacerbating all my problems except the problems make it mostly impossible to d#anything to fix it. ok going out and doing some fun stuff for a day makes me feel better that's great. except then i need a day after that#to recover from doing things the previous day. so the only feasible day for doing things would be saturday. except on saturdays i'm#recovering from working. i literally only work 4 days and barely over 30 hours it's Not that crazy. i mean the boss is crazy and the job ca#also be crazy obviously but 30 hours a week is minimal compared to other work schedules i've maintained before#anyway but the most i can do after work is go to the store if i need to but i almost never have energy for anything fun#and the fucking bus doesn't run on sundays and walking miles to get literally anywhere takes a lot of energy i don't have#i'm about to move next weekend and i'm dreading it because it's going to be so much work and i'm so fucking tired#and i don't have any friends to help me with cleaning i might be able to get help moving my stuff but i'm not even confident about that#i might have to rent a uhaul but i would honestly rather pay somebody to help because i'm that scared of driving even for one 30 min trip#whatever....sorry i had to feel bad for myself in the tumblr dot edu tags again i'm not in therapy rn#(<- guy who should be in therapy)
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I'm not trying to be rude at all I promise but, why *do* you ship charlie x alastor? cause charlie and vaggie are canon so I'm bit a confused
Ok seriously, how many times are people going to ask me this question??😆 like, am I committing a crime or something? Is this the equivalent of smoking crack to you people?? Lmao
Jokes aside, I’ve explained my reasoning here and in many other posts, but like, I don’t feel like I really need a specific reason to ship characters. I just do it because I can! Same as anybody else!
Anon why exactly are you confused? Yes, Charlie is canonly with Vaggie, but that doesn’t forbid me from shipping with her Alastor or any other character. Like my dude, I have shipped characters that have never even been in the same room together. What makes you think I can be stopped from shipping these two, who have undeniably chemistry together?🤷♀️ lol I’m just having a little fun and I’m not hurting anybody by shipping them, so why the confusion?
#Istg I cannot keep having this same conversation lol#no hate to anyone but what is so hard to understand?#hazbin ships#charlastor#radiobelle#asks#anon ask#lady luxo asks
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Not just ominous, but absolutely terrifying. As somebody with dissociative issues, watching Severance hits so hard, because not having memories is scary as fuck!
When you know somebody, especially if you're certain they are (or were) a friend, an overall positive emotional reaction- but you cannot remember a single moment even sitting next to them. No memory of any conversation, there's pictures, pictures of you, of them, but there is no recollection of the events despite the recognition.
When you are connected to somebody who is a complete stranger to you- that you should have more memory of them. But you don't know them. You can't remember.
I fear losing the connections I have one day, because eventually my mind will disintegrate beyond repair, and I will no longer be able to recall the names of those I love sitting next to me. I can only hope that they will still, despite this, somehow, someway, be sitting next to me.
Worse, when I cannot shape the names of people who hurt me, or in what ways they have hurt me, because I cannot remember it clearly, if at all. It opens a path for them to return, to do what they will again and again, if no one else knows or cares to keep them away. If time and/or other factors erodes the safety of a support system, it is possible I could be calling out for a helping hand and find- if not a fist- none reaching out for me.
The dehumanization of the self, the intertwined symbolism- like an ecosystem, even, of symbolism- in Severance of grooming, of capitalism, and the downright cult worship of that capitalism and how it is very closely interchangeable (if that's even the right word) with heavy religious belief. The dehumanization from those who hold power over you, while they too answer to someone with more power that dehumanizes them, to the point neither you or they can tell what is good, what is okay, what should be questioned if anything at all-
The dehumanization you push on yourself through yourself, because of this cycle. This hierarchy, pushing and spreading belief through ignorance and separation and the purposeful lack of tools to educate the self outside of what's given by Lumon.
The re-humanization of Cobel in the way she crashes out, and tells Mark Scout that it is a good thing he is looking to quit. Taught and trained, in an unknown way (but surely similar), the same thing she had been pushed to teach and train Mark S. The mental illness, the pain, the way of thinking. It's bigger than she is, yet throughout Season one it is so hard not to tunnel vision on her, who HAS power, to see that even she has a range of helplessness that's been learned/taught by someone else above her.
Helena tells Helly she is not human, Mark Scout using Mark S. to repress- yet, Helly & Mark S. ARE Helena & Mark Scout, and I could go on and on and on about the Russian doll scenario that is. I could also go on and on about Helly's initial and aggressive/violent defiance of it all, and how even as she starts to push less and less against the lid, her spark being the thing that pushed the others to think in ways they were too afraid to.
The similarities to (if not a straight up parallel/I have no other good word, send help) DID &/or other dissociative disorders, the way the show represents derealization and grief and love, and the grief of love, and more in so many ways through their film work and writing, and the actors doing amazing jobs...
GRAAAHHHH, you are so right.
There it is again, that funny feeling. That transition between:
"Oh my god! A four!!" and "You're right... The numbers were scary."
can't get over how ominous a severed existence can be. imagine a deja vú feeling multiplied by ten. imagine that split second moment before your stomach drops and somersaults, before your throat does that clicking little thing, before your heart bumps against your ribs. recognition without memory.
there it is again, that funny feeling.
"there it is again, that funny feeling" as helly looks at helena telling her she's not a person. "there it is again, that funny feeling" as petey tells mark scout that mark s carries his sadness with him, he just doesn't know what it is. "there it is again, that funny feeling" as mark s reads the dedication to him on ricken's book. "there it is again, that funny feeling" as miss casey tells mark s that she's been fired. "there it is again, that funny feeling" as irving b looks at irving bailiff's paintings of the testing room hallway. "there it is again, that funny feeling" as dylan g looks at his kid for the first time. as milchick tells him the name of his wife. "there it is again, that funny feeling" as helena looks at mark s and helly's kiss. "there it is again, that funny feeling" as dylan g takes out his figure of the four of them together, before pulling the levers. "there it is again, that funny feeling" as irving b looks at burt and his husband, in a world that he thinks doesn't belong to him. "there it is again, that funny feeling" as dylan george is denied a job because he's been severed. "there it is again, that funny feeling" as the four of them look at their attempts at asking for help from the world be turned into lumon propaganda.
#severance#severance apple tv#helly r#mark s#mark scout#dylan g#irving b#irving bailiff#miss casey#gemma casey#ramblingonyourpostiamsosorry
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veteran nctzens were so right cause now that im serious about them , if the rest of yall can learn 5+ 8 member groups you can learn nct fr 🤣
#nct#nct dream#nct 127#wayv#nct wish#I can’t remember/ learn that many names ���#I literally understand now I cannot keep having the same conversation#I barely started the conversation#already my other kpop friends hit me with the idk how you learned all of them!#or#I’m never gonna learn them it’s impossible!#okay 😭
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Lloyd laughs at that response, surprisingly hearty considering the conversation they were having. It was just so...straightforward and honest an answer. No fluff, no pussyfooting around, no airs; just the simple facts, and it was refreshing.
"Fair enough! Seems we're of the same mind, then. An exchange of faith in each other's honor."
Lloyd goes quiet at the answer, his gaze firm as he searches the other's face. Even with the laugh after the fact, the attempt to brush away what was so clearly a true and honest answer, Lloyd was not distracted from the look in those eyes. It was one he understood, even if only a fraction. It was something that haunted his eyes, his steps, his heart as well.
"...The way I see it, we do not get to decide when or if we're forgiven. All we can do is keep trying to do good for others. Even if it doesn't reach those we directly wronged, the fact that you do regret it and that you're no longer walking the path that led you to cause that damage or rift in the first place...," he pauses, sighs as he shifts to gaze into the steam. "That matters. It counts for something."
With a stretch of his arms up and over his head, relishing in the easier movement the warmth has given him, Lloyd pushes off of the bench and gets to his feet, turning to stand before Sephiran.
"There are many I cannot directly make things up to. They followed me, my family, and they lost their lives to our mistakes. I should have died among them, and yet I did not," he says, "There is a reason you carry on, with the weight of your actions or lack thereof. You have the chance to change, to try and do better -- to stumble and fall, and pick yourself back up again. You are not here, alive, just to suffer. We can figure it out, one step at a time."
Sauna Is A Counter Pick Stage
They say if you go to the sauna completely alone at night, and get the room full of steam, you’ll see your doppelgänger in the mist. If you don’t defeat your doppelganger, or escape before it can catch you, your doppelganger will take your place! Or… Maybe it’s just someone else using the sauna… [Grants Gauntlet +1]
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it's always something. PLEASE can i just go One single day without there being Something
#vent post#cw injury mention#cw shooting mention#don't know why i keep getting involved in these political debates with an old ignorant drunkard. i'd be better off talking to a brick wall#i say 'talking' as if he ever lets me get a word in edgewise. he just wants a Nice Quiet Woman to complain to. not a real conversation.#can't believe i spent 2hrs last night trying to explain basic facts about the universe and evolution when he probably remembered none of it#not to quote Dr. Ratio in a vent post but. the most annoying thing about idiocy Truly is that you can't explain it to an idiot#'i am a STRAIGHT MAN 😡😡😡 how do you expect me to give you a QUEER answer???' bro all i did was ask why u don't like gay ppl.. chill...#'well in BibLIcaL tiMeS-' man u just ranted abt how ur atheist & don't believe in the bible. u can't turn around and use it in an argument#so we somehow went from fictional stories to The Gays to religion to outer space to the birth of the universe to evolution to currency#and when he started in on China & covid i simply had to walk away. i can't listen to any more of his regurgitated propaganda conspiracies#oh and how can i forget the tangent he went off on about his beloved guns after the Antioch shooting yesterday! that took 30mins at least#i did read the kid's manifesto and lowkey wish i hadn't because Jesus Fucking Christ i'm so worried about the state of children online#i really do love the internet and the countless good things it has brought into the world and into my own life#but i didn't have access to it until i was.. 11 i think? and the internet was a Very different place in 2011 than it is in the 2020s#worst i did was watch clickbait YT videos about mermaids being real. now 9 year-olds are getting radicalized on Twitch???#idk i'm so 'old' and out of the loop now. i barely recognized like half of those words he used. but god i'm worried sick for the kids.#anyways. all last night's 'debate' accomplished was me getting told that my fiction writing doesn't do anything good for the world#and got reminded that being gay is a mental illness. :) and that he doesn't trust in science. or anything logical for that matter#he's just gonna keep saying the same bullshit he was raised to believe without a single critical thought as to whether it was correct#i'm done trying to find common ground with someone like that. waste of my precious time. i could be playing a video game lmao#anyways later that evening i accidentally sustained some burns to my left hand. and i am totally fine. but i was too tired to clean & wrap-#-it up before i fell asleep. so i woke up hours later panicked from a nightmare with my hand fucking throbbing and my mom standing over me#in her own little panic because she didn't check her fucking pants pockets and accidentally washed her flip phone and it was. well. soaked.#so i got to spend all morning taking it apart in hopes of salvaging it so i don't have to hassle with moving her number to a new one!!!#then poured hydrogen peroxide all over my burned hand Knowing it wasn't the best idea but i. did it anyways bc my hubris cannot be stopped#and holy shit that didn't feel good! had to keep reminding myself to breathe or i was gonna pass out lmao that shit made my joints hurt#how does a skin wound ache all the way down to the bone. anyways. it's wrapped now and i'm Alllll better :) no mental illness in This body#anyways thanks to that i got out of making dinner and doing the dishes! and i got a burger and fries and am dipping them in ice cream#the fries not the burger im not that unhinged. anyways now im gonna boot up Genshin and try to turn my tired little brain off for the night
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There's like groups of people who say they don't want to see Black Trauma and think that means that Black people should just never be depicted being in hardship or being poor or anything that makes them specifically uncomfortable
And then there's groups of people who decide that sick freaks fetishizing the Sapphics mean Sapphics should never be depicted having sex on page or on screen or never talk about sex
And as a Black Bisexual they both get on my nerves I s2g
#like we gotta find a happy medium cause I CANNOT keep having the same conversations!!!#this is a draft I made when I was specifically annoyed so hopefully it makes sense#random
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