#hyperbolic ai

[honysoytquimalpence]

[zenosanalytic]

That already rich people are willing to Accelerate how fast their class is ALREADY Burning Down the World for the POSSIBILITY of cornering the market for Book Report Cheating Robots really tells you everything you need to fucking know.

[razzek]

A quip about AI I was thinking about yesterday:

AI ingests human input (words, art, etc) much the same way a jet engine ingests flocks of birds, breaking everything down into a slurry of it’s former parts. And much like an engine ingesting a bird, everything falls out of the sky as a result.

[re-reclass]

I’m in the final stretch of my first playthrough of Persona 5 Strikers and it feels even more resonant in 2023 than it probably was when it first came out a few years ago. The way NPCs talk about the EMMA AI is exactly the kind of language I hear all over about ChatGPT and OpenAI.

[dogin8]

hate what AI has done to like social culture as a whole. like I see some post about a very complex detailed game made in 2010 and somebody's in the comments like "It's crazy how they could make this all without AI" SHUT THE FUCK UP PLEASE. or somebody sees a clearly edited video and is like "This is obvs AI" NO YOU LOSER SOMEBODY JUST PUT A LOT OF FUCKING EFFORT INTO THIS. If I could wish for one thing from a genie I'd probably be solving problems or something important BUT if I could choose for nobody to be able to say "AI" ever again i genuinely would. If i could wipe it from the collective vocabulary this instant i would do it

[wanderingmind867]

My stomach is still acting up, and that's definitely contributing to me making less posts. As I said in a post yesterday: my overthinking, stomach issues and seeming addiction to the ai character chatbots have caused me to not post as often as I used to. But I've stopped venting about the stomach issues because I don't really know how many more ways I can articulate posts on my stomach issues without just saying that i hate it because pain (even non fatal pain like this) can really hurt.

But I feel like it could be seen as good practice for next semester of school. Because if I'm at school the whole day next year, I may not be making many new posts then too. But even in that case: I still pray this stomach pain clears up. Because it's annoying to not know the definitive cause if the pain yet, and to just have to deal with it. So I hope it clears up before too long.

[agp]

if only there was a name for the kind of aesthetic criticism that labels its targets as necessarily derivative, all-powerful yet fundamentally inferior, essentially fraudulent, dangerously contagious, and an existential threat to be exterminated.

[protaetia]

🐞

[skitterjitter]

AI that "makes" art or you can chat with (including the idea of character AIs) or write stories/scripts makes my skin crawl. I hate it.

[taylorthrift]

Cord Jefferson on the Writers’ Strike: “This Is an Existential Threat to All of Us” | GQ

[mostlysignssomeportents]

What kind of bubble is AI?

My latest column for Locus Magazine is "What Kind of Bubble is AI?" All economic bubbles are hugely destructive, but some of them leave behind wreckage that can be salvaged for useful purposes, while others leave nothing behind but ashes:

https://locusmag.com/2023/12/commentary-cory-doctorow-what-kind-of-bubble-is-ai/

Think about some 21st century bubbles. The dotcom bubble was a terrible tragedy, one that drained the coffers of pension funds and other institutional investors and wiped out retail investors who were gulled by Superbowl Ads. But there was a lot left behind after the dotcoms were wiped out: cheap servers, office furniture and space, but far more importantly, a generation of young people who'd been trained as web makers, leaving nontechnical degree programs to learn HTML, perl and python. This created a whole cohort of technologists from non-technical backgrounds, a first in technological history. Many of these people became the vanguard of a more inclusive and humane tech development movement, and they were able to make interesting and useful services and products in an environment where raw materials – compute, bandwidth, space and talent – were available at firesale prices.

Contrast this with the crypto bubble. It, too, destroyed the fortunes of institutional and individual investors through fraud and Superbowl Ads. It, too, lured in nontechnical people to learn esoteric disciplines at investor expense. But apart from a smattering of Rust programmers, the main residue of crypto is bad digital art and worse Austrian economics.

Or think of Worldcom vs Enron. Both bubbles were built on pure fraud, but Enron's fraud left nothing behind but a string of suspicious deaths. By contrast, Worldcom's fraud was a Big Store con that required laying a ton of fiber that is still in the ground to this day, and is being bought and used at pennies on the dollar.

AI is definitely a bubble. As I write in the column, if you fly into SFO and rent a car and drive north to San Francisco or south to Silicon Valley, every single billboard is advertising an "AI" startup, many of which are not even using anything that can be remotely characterized as AI. That's amazing, considering what a meaningless buzzword AI already is.

So which kind of bubble is AI? When it pops, will something useful be left behind, or will it go away altogether? To be sure, there's a legion of technologists who are learning Tensorflow and Pytorch. These nominally open source tools are bound, respectively, to Google and Facebook's AI environments:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/08/18/openwashing/#you-keep-using-that-word-i-do-not-think-it-means-what-you-think-it-means

But if those environments go away, those programming skills become a lot less useful. Live, large-scale Big Tech AI projects are shockingly expensive to run. Some of their costs are fixed – collecting, labeling and processing training data – but the running costs for each query are prodigious. There's a massive primary energy bill for the servers, a nearly as large energy bill for the chillers, and a titanic wage bill for the specialized technical staff involved.

Once investor subsidies dry up, will the real-world, non-hyperbolic applications for AI be enough to cover these running costs? AI applications can be plotted on a 2X2 grid whose axes are "value" (how much customers will pay for them) and "risk tolerance" (how perfect the product needs to be).

Charging teenaged D&D players $10 month for an image generator that creates epic illustrations of their characters fighting monsters is low value and very risk tolerant (teenagers aren't overly worried about six-fingered swordspeople with three pupils in each eye). Charging scammy spamfarms $500/month for a text generator that spits out dull, search-algorithm-pleasing narratives to appear over recipes is likewise low-value and highly risk tolerant (your customer doesn't care if the text is nonsense). Charging visually impaired people $100 month for an app that plays a text-to-speech description of anything they point their cameras at is low-value and moderately risk tolerant ("that's your blue shirt" when it's green is not a big deal, while "the street is safe to cross" when it's not is a much bigger one).

Morganstanley doesn't talk about the trillions the AI industry will be worth some day because of these applications. These are just spinoffs from the main event, a collection of extremely high-value applications. Think of self-driving cars or radiology bots that analyze chest x-rays and characterize masses as cancerous or noncancerous.

These are high value – but only if they are also risk-tolerant. The pitch for self-driving cars is "fire most drivers and replace them with 'humans in the loop' who intervene at critical junctures." That's the risk-tolerant version of self-driving cars, and it's a failure. More than $100b has been incinerated chasing self-driving cars, and cars are nowhere near driving themselves:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/10/09/herbies-revenge/#100-billion-here-100-billion-there-pretty-soon-youre-talking-real-money

Quite the reverse, in fact. Cruise was just forced to quit the field after one of their cars maimed a woman – a pedestrian who had not opted into being part of a high-risk AI experiment – and dragged her body 20 feet through the streets of San Francisco. Afterwards, it emerged that Cruise had replaced the single low-waged driver who would normally be paid to operate a taxi with 1.5 high-waged skilled technicians who remotely oversaw each of its vehicles:

https://www.nytimes.com/2023/11/03/technology/cruise-general-motors-self-driving-cars.html

The self-driving pitch isn't that your car will correct your own human errors (like an alarm that sounds when you activate your turn signal while someone is in your blind-spot). Self-driving isn't about using automation to augment human skill – it's about replacing humans. There's no business case for spending hundreds of billions on better safety systems for cars (there's a human case for it, though!). The only way the price-tag justifies itself is if paid drivers can be fired and replaced with software that costs less than their wages.

What about radiologists? Radiologists certainly make mistakes from time to time, and if there's a computer vision system that makes different mistakes than the sort that humans make, they could be a cheap way of generating second opinions that trigger re-examination by a human radiologist. But no AI investor thinks their return will come from selling hospitals that reduce the number of X-rays each radiologist processes every day, as a second-opinion-generating system would. Rather, the value of AI radiologists comes from firing most of your human radiologists and replacing them with software whose judgments are cursorily double-checked by a human whose "automation blindness" will turn them into an OK-button-mashing automaton:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/08/23/automation-blindness/#humans-in-the-loop

The profit-generating pitch for high-value AI applications lies in creating "reverse centaurs": humans who serve as appendages for automation that operates at a speed and scale that is unrelated to the capacity or needs of the worker:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/04/17/revenge-of-the-chickenized-reverse-centaurs/

But unless these high-value applications are intrinsically risk-tolerant, they are poor candidates for automation. Cruise was able to nonconsensually enlist the population of San Francisco in an experimental murderbot development program thanks to the vast sums of money sloshing around the industry. Some of this money funds the inevitabilist narrative that self-driving cars are coming, it's only a matter of when, not if, and so SF had better get in the autonomous vehicle or get run over by the forces of history.

Once the bubble pops (all bubbles pop), AI applications will have to rise or fall on their actual merits, not their promise. The odds are stacked against the long-term survival of high-value, risk-intolerant AI applications.

The problem for AI is that while there are a lot of risk-tolerant applications, they're almost all low-value; while nearly all the high-value applications are risk-intolerant. Once AI has to be profitable – once investors withdraw their subsidies from money-losing ventures – the risk-tolerant applications need to be sufficient to run those tremendously expensive servers in those brutally expensive data-centers tended by exceptionally expensive technical workers.

If they aren't, then the business case for running those servers goes away, and so do the servers – and so do all those risk-tolerant, low-value applications. It doesn't matter if helping blind people make sense of their surroundings is socially beneficial. It doesn't matter if teenaged gamers love their epic character art. It doesn't even matter how horny scammers are for generating AI nonsense SEO websites:

https://twitter.com/jakezward/status/1728032634037567509

These applications are all riding on the coattails of the big AI models that are being built and operated at a loss in order to be profitable. If they remain unprofitable long enough, the private sector will no longer pay to operate them.

Now, there are smaller models, models that stand alone and run on commodity hardware. These would persist even after the AI bubble bursts, because most of their costs are setup costs that have already been borne by the well-funded companies who created them. These models are limited, of course, though the communities that have formed around them have pushed those limits in surprising ways, far beyond their original manufacturers' beliefs about their capacity. These communities will continue to push those limits for as long as they find the models useful.

These standalone, "toy" models are derived from the big models, though. When the AI bubble bursts and the private sector no longer subsidizes mass-scale model creation, it will cease to spin out more sophisticated models that run on commodity hardware (it's possible that Federated learning and other techniques for spreading out the work of making large-scale models will fill the gap).

So what kind of bubble is the AI bubble? What will we salvage from its wreckage? Perhaps the communities who've invested in becoming experts in Pytorch and Tensorflow will wrestle them away from their corporate masters and make them generally useful. Certainly, a lot of people will have gained skills in applying statistical techniques.

But there will also be a lot of unsalvageable wreckage. As big AI models get integrated into the processes of the productive economy, AI becomes a source of systemic risk. The only thing worse than having an automated process that is rendered dangerous or erratic based on AI integration is to have that process fail entirely because the AI suddenly disappeared, a collapse that is too precipitous for former AI customers to engineer a soft landing for their systems.

This is a blind spot in our policymakers debates about AI. The smart policymakers are asking questions about fairness, algorithmic bias, and fraud. The foolish policymakers are ensnared in fantasies about "AI safety," AKA "Will the chatbot become a superintelligence that turns the whole human race into paperclips?"

https://pluralistic.net/2023/11/27/10-types-of-people/#taking-up-a-lot-of-space

But no one is asking, "What will we do if" – when – "the AI bubble pops and most of this stuff disappears overnight?"

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/12/19/bubblenomics/#pop

Image: Cryteria (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:HAL9000.svg

CC BY 3.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/deed.en

--

tom_bullock (modified) https://www.flickr.com/photos/tombullock/25173469495/

CC BY 2.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/

[catboybiologist]

Many billionaires in tech bros warn about the dangerous of AI. It's pretty obviously not because of any legitimate concern that AI will take over. But why do they keep saying stuff like this then? Why do we keep on having this still fear of some kind of singularity style event that leads to machine takeover?

The possibility of a self-sufficient AI taking over in our lifetimes is... Basically nothing, if I'm being honest. I'm not an expert by any means, I've used ai powered tools in my biology research, and I'm somewhat familiar with both the limits and possibility of what current models have to offer.

I'm starting to think that the reason why billionaires in particular try to prop this fear up is because it distracts from the actual danger of ai: the fact that billionaires and tech mega corporations have access to data, processing power, and proprietary algorithms to manipulate information on mass and control the flow of human behavior. To an extent, AI models are a black box. But the companies making them still have control over what inputs they receive for training and analysis, what kind of outputs they generate, and what they have access to. They're still code. Just some of the logic is built on statistics from large datasets instead of being manually coded.

The more billionaires make AI fear seem like a science fiction concept related to conciousness, the more they can absolve themselves in the eyes of public from this. The sheer scale of the large model statistics they're using, as well as the scope of surveillance that led to this point, are plain to see, and I think that the companies responsible are trying to play a big distraction game.

Hell, we can see this in the very use of the term artificial intelligence. Obviously, what we call artificial intelligence is nothing like science fiction style AI. Terms like large statistics, large models, and hell, even just machine learning are far less hyperbolic about what these models are actually doing.

I don't know if your average Middle class tech bro is actively perpetuating this same thing consciously, but I think the reason why it's such an attractive idea for them is because it subtly inflates their ego. By treating AI as a mystical act of the creation, as trending towards sapience or consciousness, if modern AI is just the infant form of something grand, they get to feel more important about their role in the course of society. Admitting the actual use and the actual power of current artificial intelligence means admitting to themselves that they have been a tool of mega corporations and billionaires, and that they are not actually a major player in human evolution. None of us are, but it's tech bro arrogance that insists they must be.

Do most tech bros think this way? Not really. Most are just complict neolibs that don't think too hard about the consequences of their actions. But for the subset that do actually think this way, this arrogance is pretty core to their thinking.

Obviously this isn't really something I can prove, this is just my suspicion from interacting with a fair number of techbros and people outside of CS alike.

[o-blivia]

AI isn't a threat to creative professions because it can actually make passable art that humans enjoy (it can't). It's a threat because in a capitalist system, employers would do literally anything to not have to pay humans living wages (or any wages, let's be real).

We've been in a productivity boom for the past 60 years, but the one area where production cannot become more efficient is the arts. It takes the same amount of time to write a novel or compose a symphony now as it did a hundred years ago. That's just the creative process.

AI represents a shortcut to making art that has had executives salivating since LLMs and AI art generators hit the internet. It means more content faster with the benefit of not having to provide salaries, sick days, parental leave, time off, or healthcare. It means not having to deal with unions and labour laws. It means cutting humans out of the most fundamentally human activity we do – making art.

All those headlines and clickbait articles about AI annihilating the human race are a hyperbolic distraction from the actual problem we may soon be facing where people won't have the possibility of supporting themselves making art (not that it's particularly easy to do as it stands).

If making art becomes a luxury only for the affluent, we will stop hearing the voices, stories, and perspectives of marginalized people. And our cultural tapestry will stop being so vibrant, diverse, and vital.

[applejuicewerewolf]

Well you see, Ai and Ran are fragile, emotional women, and we can't have them involved in Serious ™️ dangerous buisiness. They get their time to shine every now and then, but them being involved in the main plot?! Can't have that!

How long does the whole "hey, I found information that may or may not be about the black organization, don't tell Ai about it!" thing last?

Like, I am at chapter 500 right now, will he still be doing that for the next 1000 chapters or does he realize that sharing information with her would be more productive? Especially since she usually learns pretty quickly anyway.

I am already annoyed enough at the Ran situation, I don't need something similar with Ai as well.

[dreadfutures]

you know all the "of course solavellans are racist" "of course solavellans are using AI to write fic" "solavellans never talk about XYZ issue they only talk about people who hate solas"

can we not

can we really not use these opportunities to talk about how disgusting awful all Solas fans are and how awful disgusting anyone who likes this character is. and all his fans are Nazi cocksuckers.

._.

like hi, I am a fan. I am your friend. and I am in large solas fan groups... this is not the problem........this isn't me being in just a nice subgroup like. this is a very specific group of people who are being shitty because they're shitty people...

can you save your hyperbolic rage and not do the "but my friends aren't like other solavellans"

cuz it's kinda shitty. to your friends. how about instead of "all solavellans" you just shit talk the actual people you have issues with?? c'mon.

[twst-aceofhearts]

Chocolate

a/n: the bonus fic I was talking abt in my post - more as an apology for not posting a fic in so long - do i realize that the ratio of words in ace fics to other characters' is significantly more? yes. will i make it equal and tone down my ace fics? absolutely not. ;)

I TOTALLY DON'T HAVE AN IMPENDING HYPERFIXATION ON ACE PSHHH WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT

slow burn(?)

@ai-kan1 peace offering plz accept me TT

not proofread sorry

tw: very cheesy and very cringe-worthy kissing scenes

pairing: Ace x Fem!Yuu (has a nut allergy and gets motion sickness for the sake of plot)

words: 6234 (hoo boy..)

taglist: @luxaryllis @thegoldencontracts @waterthatsmoe @ai-kan1

“You’re pretty popular these days, huh,” Ace says, his words lacking the teasing lilt he’d hoped to achieve upon seeing the piles of chocolates on Yuu’s table that morning.

Though—he inspects the stacks of cheap gifts he could easily discern were from Sam’s Shop. Do these people really think they can win Yuu over with shallow and thoughtless offerings like these? Did they even try?

Now, he’s no critic, but if Ace was given the chance to take part in this annual wooing fest, he’d go out of his way to take Yuu to an amusement park (everyone loves those) and impress her by winning all those crappy games for you (he’s street-smart, he’d know what he’s doing). Not only would Yuu end up utterly smitten with him, he’d also earn brownie points he can show off to Deuce. It’s an entirely win-win situation…or something. He wouldn’t know. It’s not like Ace spends his time thinking about this in minute detail. Haha, nope. Yuu was his best friend, and best friends don’t do that to each other.

…Probably.

“I guess,” Yuu hummed, rummaging through the mountain of chocolates, hoping for at least one decent piece without nuts.

“You guess?” Ace echoed in what almost sounded like a scoff. He leaned over her, arms crossed on the tabletop so that he could glance at the boxes in Yuu’s hands. “I counted twenty-three boxes. That’s basically the whole of the first years and half the second years at this school. What’s with all these chocolates for you, huh?”

With an amused smirk, he snatched a box out of her hands, inspecting the package.

“That’s some great hyperbole use, Ace. I didn’t realize your range of grammar was so wide,” Yuu deadpanned, “I’d appreciate it if you gave that back. It’s the only one without nuts and I want to satisfy my sweet tooth.”

“My grammar is amazing, you know. I’m the whole package,” Ace teased, tossing the box between his hands. His smirk was only growing bigger, seeming thoroughly entertained by her irritation. “But you didn’t answer the question: Why are you getting so many chocolates, hm?”

“Zero times a number is still zero,” Yuu countered back with a small smirk of her own. “And how would I know why so many people like me that way?”

“Ouch,” he deadpanned back in response. He put a hand to his chest in mock-despair. “Your cold words wound me. Here, a poor boy was just trying to give you a hard time, and you go ahead and say that.”

Ace was clearly just messing around with you, having the cheekiest damn smile on his face to show it.

“And you should have some idea, right? People like you because you’re cute. That’s it. Pretty simple reasoning.”

“You and your theatrics,” Yuu lightly shook her head. “But, I wasn’t expecting you to admit that. Are you one of the many people that like me or something?”

“Huh- hey, I do not have theatrics!” Ace protested with a huff. Although there was a hint of indignance in his voice, it quickly faded away to his usual carefree tone. He chose to ignore the second part of her question, but he couldn’t quite stop the flush that began to bloom over his cheeks. “I’m just being sarcastic with you! You ought to know that I’m just giving you a hard time, since I always give you a hard time.”

“Theater boy,” Yuu smiled, teasing him. She stood up, suddenly taking the box of chocolates back.

“Oh, come on!” Ace whined, following Yuu as she moved. “Don’t just take it back after that!”

For a moment, it seemed like he was about to make a grab for the box again, but he quickly aborted the motion with a huff and crossed his arms.

“So you still didn’t answer my question. Why the heck are you getting so many chocolates, anyway? Did you accidetally charm the entirety of our class or something?!”

“Look, I don’t know! This is what happens when you put a girl in an all boys school full of hormonal guys!” Yuu huffed, popping a piece of chocolate into her mouth.

“Oh- that’s why-”

Ace bit back a bark of laughter, instead covering his mouth and muffling his giggles behind his hand. After a moment, he got his amusement relatively under control, clearing his throat and shaking his head.

“Hormonal guys. Yeah, that seems about right. So you’re really not like, secretly flirting with half the school like I thought? I actually have a shot after all?”

Yuu raised an eyebrow. “I’m starting to think you are a part of the guys that like me.”

“Me? You think I like you too?” Ace exclaimed, laughing in a poor, failed attempt to hide the nervous blush that was quickly overtaking his face.

“Well, I mean-” He looked away, suddenly unable to meet her Yuu’s eyes. His voice lowered as he continued. “So what if I… I mean, hypothetically…”

“So you do?” Yuu grinned, playing with the chocolate wrapper.

“Oh come on, don’t sound so smug about it,” Ace mumbled, stuffing his hands into the pockets on his uniform pants, hunching his shoulders. He couldn’t manage to look at her, but that didn’t stop him from speaking again in a quiet voice. 

“...Maybe I do. Hypothetically. You know, whatever, it’s not a big deal, alright?” 

“Uh huh,” Yuu raised her eyebrows, her grin widening. 

“Hush, you,” Ace shot back quickly, looking up to glare at her. “Don’t look so— so smug!”

His ears were definitely turning pink; a fact that was only made more obvious with some strands of fiery hair falling over them. “I can’t believe out of the two of us, you’re the one making me feel flustered.”

“Sure, pretty boy,” Yuu chuckled, placing the box of chocolate down.

“You—”

Ace choked on the rest of his sentence as he was called that. Heat flared up his neck into his face, turning his skin absolutely scarlet. How the hell did she say these things so easily?

“God, you’re the worst, you know that?” He turned away, facing the opposite wall and stubbornly refusing to look at Yuu. No one deserved to see how utterly embarrassed he was right now.

Yuu let out a small giggle, standing up and popping a piece of chocolate into his mouth. 

“Hey, what—”

Ace was in the middle of protesting before the chocolate was suddenly in his mouth. He spluttered for a moment, though finally giving in because hey, free chocolate.

“Damn it- stop giggling like that. You’re enjoying this too much,” he grumbled through a mouthful of chocolate. He still wasn’t looking at her.

“Never. Would you rather me feed it to you mouth to mouth, then?”

Ace sputtered and choked on the piece of chocolate he had in his mouth. He coughed to try and regain his ability to speak, but all he managed to do was turn bright red, sputter some more, and look absolutely flabbergasted.

“Actually—since you’re so judgemental about my mountain of chocolates I can’t even eat, what would you do? What kind of date would you plan? I might actually agree depending on how much I like that idea—who knows.” Yuu grinned, giving him a small wink.

The sheer confidence and sass in her voice stunned Ace all over again. He couldn’t help but just stand there, gaping at Yuu in surprise. Though, eventually he managed to pull himself together, a sly smile overtaking his face.

“Is that a challenge, sweetheart? I’ll have you falling to my feet by the end of that date. Just wait.”

“...sweetheart?” Yuu blinked twice, her smirk completely wiped off. Her turn to be flustered, I guess.

A sense of triumph flared up in Ace’s chest upon seeing her suddenly-dumbfounded expression. “What’s that look for? Got flustered, didn’t you? Didn’t think you’d get all shy.”

A sly smirk was still splayed across his face, taking a step closer to Yuu to admire her face more.

“Shut it. What do you have planned for this date, anyway?” Yuu huffed, scooting back with her chair, trying to change the subject. 

“I thought you wanted to know how much you’d like it after I suggested a date, hm?” Ace teased, taking note of how Yuu were suddenly avoiding eye contact, and that sweet, flustered look on her face. He chuckled, resting his hands by her chair, caging Yuu in and effectively keeping her from scooting away.

“...whatever…j-just—tell me what you have planned, Ace.”

He’s got her trapped and flustered. Ace’s smirk widened, reaching out to grab one of her hands.

“Alright, I’ll tell you,” Ace leaned down and lowered his voice into a murmur. “But before I do, can I ask you something?”

“Sure…”

He moved his free hand to gently grab her chin, tilting her head up to look into her eyes. “You’d be willing to go on a date with me, even if it’s going to be really, really cheesy?”

Yuu shrugged. “Why not? Sounds fun.”

Ace studied Yuu’s face for a moment, a fond look in his eyes. Eventually, that smirk returned, releasing your chin. “Alright. I guess I shouldn’t be asking. Of course you’d be up for a sappy cheesy date.”

He stood up straight and let go of her hand in favor of crossing his arms. “My plan? I’m taking you to an amusement park.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ace was practically bouncing with excitement by the time the two of them got there. Like a little kid, if anything. As he walked beside Yuu, he pointed at different parts of the park they both passed by.

“I’m gonna win you the biggest plushie they have. Then I’m gonna buy you a bunch of shitty snacks from all the vendors. And to top it all off, I’m gonna make you try all the rides here, even if you’re scared of heights.”

“Ah shit, I knew I forgot something…”

Ace stopped in his tracks, spinning around to give Yuu a questioning look. “Huh? Forgot something? What are you talking about?”

Yuu swallowed. “...my motion sickness medicine.”

Ace stared at her for a moment, a bewildered look on his face. He let out a low groan and facepalmed. “You’re kidding, right? You’re seriously telling me you forgot to take your motion sickness medicine to an amusement park?”

Yuu looked down guiltily, her head hanging low as she fiddled with her thumbs. “...I’m sorry,” she bit her lip, her voice quiet as she murmured an apology.

If it weren’t for the fact that she looked like a pitiful baby animal, he’d be very pissed off right now. Ace was prepared to be annoyed at her forgetfulness, he really was. But the moment he laid eyes on Yuu and saw that dejected, kicked-puppy-like look on her face, all of that annoyance melted away. 

“Damn it, why’d you have to look so pathetic? You're making it hard to be made at you, you know that?” He sighed loudly.

“...excuse me?” Yuu looked up, meeting his eyes—her own narrowing.

Ace chuckled nervously. Looks like he had to backtrack after that one. 

“Hold on, hold on, that didn’t come out right…” He raised his hands in a placating gesture. “I meant ‘pathetic’ in an endearing way. You know, like when a puppy makes a mess and they stare up at you looking all sad and guilty? You’re looking at me just like that.”

“Oh good,” Yuu pushed her hands into her own pockets. “Well…what now?”

Ace paused for a moment, looking pensive as he thought of something through. “Hmm…Well, I guess the question is, how bad is your motion sickness? Like, can you even handle the small rides, or is it like, as soon as you walk into a park it all goes downhill?”

“I mean, I haven’t thrown up yet from the sight of a roller coaster. So, I think I can do small or calm rides.”

Ace nodded and exhaled a small sigh of relief. “Alright, that’s good. That means you can still somewhat enjoy the park.”

He leaned forward to sling an arm around Yuu’s shoulders, drawing her closer. “C’mon, I know what we should do first.”

“Oh?”

Ace flashed Yuu a smile before pulling her along. “First, we win you a plushie. I’m good at these carnival games, so it shouldn’t take too long to win a decent prize.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As the two of them approached the first little game area, Ace stopped and pointed up at the hanging prizes. 

“Pick which one you want. And don’t say you don’t care, just choose one. I’m gonna win it for you.”

“That one,” Yuu smiled, pointing up at a plush of a mix of some duck-fish hybrid thing. “It looks incredibly stupid, but I want it.”

Ace followed where she was pointing, letting out a laugh at the sight of the plushie she’d chosen. That thing was an absolute abomination.

“You’ve got a weird taste in plushes. But fine. You want the stupid fish-duck? I’ll win it for you.”

She let out a happy squeak, watching Ace pay for a chance to play. He accepted the game equipment from the person running the game, immediately getting to work. From the start, his eyes were laser-focused. He was incredibly determined to win Yuu the ugliest plush the park had, by God.

He worked through the game with impressive skill. His accuracy was excellent, his aim never once deviating far from the intended target. A small crowd even started to form as he continued to play, a few kids gathered around, marveling at how many points he was getting. 

As he finally finished and set the equipment aside, he raked in an impressive amount of points. Almost more than any other player. The person running the game smiled and picked up one of the largest prizes, holding it out to him. 

“Not bad, kid. You sure you don’t want to pick something bigger?” 

Ace shook his head. “Nah, I’ve only got my eye set on one thing,” he replied, holding out his arms in a ‘gimme’ gesture. The person shrugged, handing over the fish-duck plush. It was absolutely hideous, just like Yuu had wanted.

Yuu smiled, squeaking happily as she took the plush when he offered. “Thanks, Ace,” she giggled, hugging the stupid looking plush tightly close to her chest.

Ace’s heart almost melted at the cute sound Yuu made. It was completely unfair that she could be so adorable and not even realize it. He gave an amused huff, smiling down at Yuu as she squeezed that ugly plush.

“You know, I don’t know whether to be upset or just accept that you’ve got a really weird taste.”

Yuu shrugged. “I’m stupid looking and I love it.”

Ace chuckled, shaking his head as he watched her practically coo over the plushie in her arms. 

“Yeah, you’ve definitely got a weird taste,” He reached over to ruffle her hair fondly. “You’re a really strange girl, you know that?”

“Well, you’re the one that took this ‘strange girl’ out on this date in the first place.” Yuu tilted her head, squeezing the duck-fish plush once more.

Ace smirked, crossing his arms and leaning closer. “Hey, I never said I was opposed to it. If I was, we wouldn’t be here,” He flicked the corner of the plush’s wing.

“Though this thing is a testament to your weird taste in stuff. Like seriously, if that’s the most hideous thing you’ve chosen, then there’s no telling how more of your life choices could be just as weird…but I guess that’s part of your charm.” He commented, his gaze softening. That smirk slid into a smile, taking a moment to just look at her.

“Anyway—” Yuu tucked the plush under her arm. “---I wanna go on the ferris wheel.”

Ace had been admiring how she looked while holding her plush just now. Yuu was just way too cute to be legal. At her words, he jerked out of his mini-trance, clearing his throat and putting on another playful smirk.

“Oh, you want the ‘romantic cliche ride’, huh?”

“Well, actually I was going for rides that won’t make me throw up, but that works too.”

Ace barked out a laugh at her response, amused and a little bit incredulous. This girl just didn’t miss a beat, did she? 

“I see. So a slow ride that goes in circles is the only thing you can really stand to tolerate. I think that qualifies as ‘boring’.”

“Look, either ‘boring’ or get covered in my own vomit. Pick your poison,” Yuu stuck her tongue out for a moment, giving the head of the duck-fish plush a gentle pat.

“Alright, alright, fine, you win,” Ace rolled his eyes, a fond smirk on his face. This girl never failed to amuse him, that was for sure. “Come on. Let’s go to the ferris wheel.”

He reached out and grabbed Yuu’s free hand, intertwining his fingers with hers as he began walking.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ace sat next to Yuu, watching the sun gradually set over the horizon. His hand was still holding onto hers, and he gave her hand a gentle squeeze. This was surprisingly nice. He’d have to admit, going on dates like this usually wasn’t his cup of tea…but he could get used to it when it was with Yuu.

“This is really nice…” Yuu looked down at the park in awe. Seeing people down there, enjoying themselves made her smile. 

“Pretty too,” She added, watching the lights of the park turn on, somehow making the place look more picturesque. Yuu squeezed the ugly ass plush, feeling content as they began to descend.

Ace nodded in agreement. The view really was quite pretty up here. He leaned against Yuu a bit, looking down over the railing at the people below. He could just barely make out what they looked like in the growing darkness. 

“Yeah. This really isn’t too boring after all.” 

He smirked and lifted his free hand to tap the weird plushie under your arm. “See? That thing’s not too bad after all. It makes an excellent armrest.” 

Yuu gasped dramatically. “Okay, for one, you were the one calling this duck-fish plush ugly. And two—how dare you use Jeremy as an armrest!”

Ace let out a laugh at her reaction. He couldn’t help it, that was just way too funny. 

“‘Jeremy’?!” He repeated, his eyes shining with amusement. “You gave it a name?!”

Yuu failed to hold back a smile. “Of course I did. For the record, his pronouns are he/him, not it. Jeremy is my child now.”

Ace snorted as she started talking like the plush was actually a real creature. He reached out to pat the top of the plush’s head once, more for the humor of it than anything else.

“Alright, alright…I apologize. I’ll make sure to address this little guy properly. He is quite hideous, and is the fruit of your strange tastes.”

Yuu rolled her eyes, but there was no real malice intent to it. “Stop insulting my baby, Ace.” 

Ace chuckled, shaking his head and raising his hands in mock surrender. “Alright, fine, I’ll stop. You’re right, your baby is perfect in every way.”

He reached out to pat the top of the stupid thing’s head again, this time in a more genuine manner. He was doing his best to keep his tone serious, but the corner of his mouth was twitching with the effort of keeping back a smirk.

“Better,” Yuu smiled, kissing Ace’s cheek as a reward for being nicer to the abomination of a plush.

Ace’s face turned a bit red as Yuu kissed his cheek. Now that was just unfair. She’d flustered him in one move. He averted his gaze and cleared his throat, hoping that she didn’t notice. Of all the times to lose his composure, it had to be right now. 

“R-right, yeah,” he replied, his response coming out a bit more stilted than usual. He quickly recovered his composure, fixing you with a smirk to cover up his momentary lapse in confidence. “Whatever you say, babe.”

Yuu smiled at the pet name, going back to playing with the stupid duck-fish thing.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As they walked from the ride, Ace watched as Yuu continued playing with her new weird plushie. He was starting to think that thing might get more attention than he did, if this went o n any longer. 

He shoved his hands in his pockets, giving Yuu a side-glance. He didn’t even really think about it before the words came out of his mouth. “...Hey, you’re not gonna end up replacing me with that thing, are you?”

Yuu raised an eyebrow and titled her head. “Are you jealous of Jeremy?” She chuckled with a small grin.

“I’m not jealous of that hideous thing,” Ace sputtered, his cheeks turning slightly pink. He crossed his arms over his chest, fixing Yuu with a half-hearted glare. “It’s just you’ve been giving it more attention than you’ve been giving me.”

That, and the fact she’d called it her ‘baby’ and given it a name—but he left that part unsaid.

Yuu giggled, using her free hand to reach out and grab one of his, squeezing it gently. “It’s okay, Ace. You’re irreplaceable.”

Ace huffed, but her words and the way she squeezed his hand helped to ease the uneasy feeling in his chest. He grumbled in slight embarrassment as he replied, a bit of a half-hearted pout on his face. “...You’d better remember that. You’re stuck with me,” He grumbled, giving Yuu’s hand a small squeeze back.

“I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

Ace stopped walking momentarily, making Yuu stop along with him. He used this opportunity to pull her in, wrapping his arms around her waist and trapping her against his chest.

He leaned down to bury his face in the crook of her neck, his voice coming out in a low, somewhat muffled grumble. “You’re mine.”

Ace had zero shame when it came to stuff like this. If he wanted to hold Yuu, he was going to hold her. And if she happened to be standing in the middle of the park, so be it. He just wrapped his arms around her tighter, letting himself get lost in her presence for a moment. He lifted his head up so he could speak, his voice a low murmur. “...promise me you won’t forget that, ‘kay?”

Yuu chuckled, tucking the plush under her arm and hugging him back—just as tightly. “I promise.”

Ace hummed in approval, squeezing you a little bit tighter again—not that he really needed to. At this point, this was just him being clingy, but he couldn’t really help it at this point. He was still feeling a bit…jealous, as ridiculous as it sounded. 

“...Good,” he mumbled, hiding his face in the crook of Yuu’s neck again in an attempt to hide his expression from view. He was just being a little bit more clingy than usual tonight, was all. It just couldn’t be helped.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ace and Yuu stood side by side, watching the fireworks go off in the night sky. He had one arm wrapped around her, his hand lightly holding onto her waist. He was leaning ever so slightly against her, his gaze fixated on the sky. He had a small smile on his face, the colors of the fireworks lighting up his face.

He had to admit, he wasn’t one for sappy, romantic things like these. But tonight, he found himself enjoying these kind of things a bit more than usual.

“...Hey, Ace?” Yuu looked up at him.

Ace shifted his gaze, away from the night sky and over to Yuu. “Yeah? What is it, babe?”

“...I love you.”

Ace’s eyes widened slightly in surprise at her sudden confession. He hadn’t been expecting that. In fact, it almost seemed like his heart had skipped a beat.

For a brief moment, the ever-cocky boy was stunned speechless. He quickly shook himself out of it, wrapping his arms around Yuu. He pulled her flush against his chest, and returned the declaration. “...Yeah, yeah, I love you too, dork.”

“...and, if you’re going to love me, you know who else you have to love?” Yuu snickered, unable to hold back a grin.

Ace blinked, having an odd suspicion about what she was going to say. He shifted his gaze down at the hideous blue thing tucked under her arm, responding with a flat, deadpan tone. 

“Please don’t say the plushie.”

“Your new son,” Yuu laughed, holding up the duck-fish plushie.

Ace huffed, a deadpan expression on his face. He was sorely tempted to roll his eyes, but he managed to restrain himself. He let out a small grumble of protest, before replying in a flat tone. “We are not reffering to that hideous, ugly ass thing as my ‘son’.”

“Too bad,” Yuu grinned, patting it on the head.

Ace gumbled again, narrowing his eyes at the ugly plushie that Yuu adored for some odd reason. 

“...I hate that thing,” He mumbled, his words carrying equal parts annoyance and jealousy.

Yuu shrugged, leaning her head on his chest and looking back up at the fireworks. “Even if you hate it, I’m glad you won it for me.”

Ace grumbled again, begrudgingly wrapping his arms around you once more. Even if he’d never admit it, he liked having her close to him like this. He buried his face into her hair, continuing to steal the occasional glance at the stupid, hideous plushies that he’d gotten for Yuu. Even if it was ugly as hell, it was the cause of the stupidly happy expression on her face, and that was good enough for him.

“...Whatever.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ace was walking alongside Yuu, one of his arms wrapped around her shoulders. He was taking his time when she suddenly stopped and pointed at a candy shop.

He raised an eyebrow, following the path of her finger to where she was pointing. A candy store. Figures.

“What, do you need even more sugar after all that cotton candy you ate earlier?”

“No, I just want to get quality chocolate. Not the mountain of crappy ones I can’t even eat back at Ramshackle.”

Ace let out a huff, an amused smirk on his face. “Quality chocolate, huh? Are you some kind of expert on it or something?” He teased, giving Yuu a small nudge.

“Shut up. I just want to freely enjoy chocolate that won’t potentially kill me, Ace.”

Ace let out an acknowledging hum, shrugging his shoulders. “Fair enough,” he responded, shifting his gaze to the shop Yuu was pointing at. He gave the place a quick glance, noting with mild surprise that it was a higher-end shop that the usual stores.

“Alright, let’s go,” Ace said, giving Yuu a small nudge towards the shop. He released Yuu from his hold, immediately taking her hand instead, intertwining his fingers with hers as he lead her towards the shop. Even if this was for Yuu, he had no intention of letting her wander off.

The two of them entered the store, immediately surrounded by rich smells of chocolate.

Ace had to admit, this place might be a bit above his price range, but he had a bit of money saved up, and well—he did sort of promise to pay for everything tonight. He didn’t really mind that much.

Yuu got a small, simple bag of chocolates, it being a variety of white, milk and dark—some with caramel, some without.

Ace stood by her side, watching her look through the different kinds of chocolate the store had to offer. He was admittedly surprised at the simplicity of the bag she’d picked out, having thought that she would choose the most expensive ones. But instead, she’d gone with something smaller and a bit more modest. He raised an eyebrow, slightly puzzled by her voice. 

“That’s it? Just that one?”

“Yeah. I don’t want you to spend too much on me. It makes me feel bad.”

Ace raised an eyebrow once more, huffing and shaking his head. “You’re ridiculous, you know that? Don’t worry about how much stuff costs, I can handle it. I don’t mind spending money on you.”

“You sure?”

Ace rolled his eyes and waved a dismissive hand. “Yeah, yeah, of course. I just told you not to worry about it, didn’t I?” he responded, his tone a bit more exasperated. Honestly, Yuu worried about this kind of thing way too much…

“If you say so,” Yuu smiled, giving the hideous plushie a squeeze and Ace a peck on the cheek.

He huffed, but a small smile quickly came to his face nonetheless. His cheeks flushed a little when she kissed him, bringing a hand up to his cheek to make sure that wasn’t a permanent mark or something. He then shook his head, muttering as small grumble. “You’re way too troublesome, y’know that?”

“Says you,” Yuu chuckled, bringing the bag of chocolates up to the cashier.

Ace rolled his eyes, refraining from making any retort. He simply watched as Yuu placed the chocolates on the counter

Of course, he couldn’t wait too long before eventually opening his mouth once more, an amused smirk coming to his face as he was paying. “You know, if you wanted something even better than some ordinary chocolates, I could probably give you something better.”

“Oh?” Yuu took her bag of chocolates, thanking the cashier before leaving the store with him. 

Ace followed you out of the store, a cheeky grin on his face. “Yeah. I bet my kisses taste way better than chocolates.”

Yuu’s eyes widened for a moment, a faint blush dusting her cheeks before she composed herself, putting on a smile. “I bet.”

Once he saw her initial reaction, a devious smirk quickly spread across Ace’s face. Ah, so he’d caught her of guard for once… He liked seeing those sorts of reactions from her. It was cute.

He leaved in closer, his face close to hers as he wrapped an arm around her waist. “I can prove it, if you want.”

Yuu giggled. “I don’t think I would mind.”

Ace’s smirk turned into a grin, and he chuckled. “Good,” He pulled you close to him, and brought one of his hands up to her cheek. His fingers gently traced over her skin, running his thumb over her lips.

He leaned in closer, his lips a few inches away from hers. For a brief moment, he just studied her eyes and face, admiring the way she looked up at him with such anticipation.

He smirked again, finally closing the gap between them two. His hand moved to the back of Yuu’s head, tilting it slightly as he placed his lips against hers. Ace’s eyes fell shut, beginning to kiss her.

Ace’s kisses were gentle, yet confident and possessive. His hand on her cheek was firm but not rough, and he used that to pull her closer. The world around her seemed to melt away, leaving just the two of them.

Yuu pulled away, letting out a content sigh as she did so. “...we should go; it’s getting late. You wouldn’t want Riddle to collar you again, would you?”

Ace rolled his eyes at the mention of Riddle, unable to help but grimace a little at the thought of receiving another of the housewarden’s infamous disciplinary actions.

“Ugh, you’re right,” he muttered. He wasn’t too pleased about ending the night early, though he didn’t want to get collared, either.

“Come on, Jeremy is getting tired,” Yuu grinned, pulling away as she held up her plushie.

Ace grumbled again, giving the plushie another disgusted look. “You need to stop calling that thing ‘Jeremy’,” he replied, his tone flat.

“When pigs fly,” Yuu stuck out her tongue, taking his hand and walking to the exit of the amusement park.

Ace rolled his eyes again, a small grumble of protest escaping from his throat. God, how in the world did that hideous plushie end up winning him over, yet again? He really was a hopeless case…

He didn’t utter another word of protest as Yuu took hold of his hand and lead him out of the park, though. As annoying as that hideous thing was, it made her happy, and that was good enough for him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Eventually, the two made it back to Ramshackle. Ace took a quick look at the rundown dorm, wrinkling his nose slightly. 

“Man, why does it look even more pathetic at night?” he grimaced, before walking up the steps to the front door.

Yuu rolled her eyes and shook her head, opening the door and stepping inside alongside Ace.

Ace followed close behind Yuu and closed the door behind him. He looked around the familiar yet outdated interior, still not entirely fond of the appearance. Of course, he was grateful that she was at least letting him stay here, so he knew better than to be disrespectful about it.

He let go of her hand and slumped down on the couch, sprawling himself out across it.

Yuu momentarily set her plush down on the counter beside her goodie bag of chocolates. “You want one?” she offered, popping a caramel filled milk chocolate piece into her mouth before getting to work and throwing away the mountain of the crappy, nut-included chocolates from students in her class.

Ace watched her as she tossed the pile of cheap chocolates into the trash, a slightly amused smirk on his face. He shook his head as he let out a small huff of laughter, silently mocking her earlier statement that she didn’t want him spending too much money on her.

“Sure, give me one. Might as well check if they taste as horrible as they look.”

Yuu raised an eyebrow. “I meant the ones you bought me from the amusement park—not these shitty ones. I don’t want you to get food poisoning or something.”

Ace rolled his eyes and scoffed dismissively, though he was inwardly relieved that he didn’t have to sample the cheap chocolates. 

“Oh, right,” he responded, a lazy smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth. He then shrugged, propping himself up on his elbows. “Well go on. I paid for those, so I should at least get a taste test.”

Yuu chuckled and rolled her eyes, looking inside the bag. “Which one do you want? White, milk or dark?”

Ace thought about it for a moment, before ultimately shrugging. “Doesn’t matter too much to me. As long as it doesn’t taste like dirt,” he replied, then adding, “I’ll take dark. It always tastes the richest.”

Yuu pulled out a dark chocolate piece, unwrapping it while walking over to the couch and feeding it to him. 

Ace leaned forward, a bit to accept the chocolate into his mouth, his eyes falling shut briefly once it was fully inside. He began to chew it, unable to help but let out a small satisfied hum.

After swallowing, he looked back up at Yuu and smirked. “Tastes better than the cheap stuff, I’ll give you that.”

Yuu suddenly smirked, a light bulb going off over her head. “You want another?”

Ace’s smirk grew, his eyebrows raising up slightly. He had an inkling of where this was going, but he still played along. “Depends. Are you going to feed me this one, too?”

“Eh, sort of~”

Ace smirked again, his curiosity heightened by her response. He leaned forward a bit more, keeping his eyes on her. 

“Care to explain what else you’ve got in mind, then?”

Yuu let out a giggle, unwrapping another piece of chocolate and placinging half of it in her mouth, holding it with her front teeth.

Ace raised an eyebrow in slight confusion, but then it dawned on him what she was getting at. A small smirk tugged at the corner of his lips, a small huff of laughter escaping them.

He was going to get a repeat of that kiss from earlier, only this time it had chocolate involved. 

He shifted a little closer to Yuu, his eyes fixed on hers. “Is this your attempt at winning me over, with fancy French chocolate kisses?”

Yuu gave a firm nod with a hum, leaning down closer to him.

Ace smirked again and reached out to grab her waist, gently tugging her down on top of him. He settled down on the couch, his back flat against the cushions, his back flat against the cushions and Yuu lying on top of him.

“You’re lucky I like this kind of bribery…” he said, his tone low but playful.

He didn’t give Yuu a chance to response. Instead, he pressed his lips against hers, kissing Yuu eagerly. His fingers gripped her waist, starting to gently guide her so that she was straddling him.

Yuu used this chance to push the piece of chocolate into his mouth with her tongue. 

Ace’s eyes were shut at first, focused on only her lips against his. Then he felt the chocolate piece being pushed into his mouth, parting his lips a little more to let it fully in.

He quickly began to chew and swallow it, all the while keeping his lips in constant contact with hers. Then he broke away for a moment, his smirk returning as he spoke. “Tastes even better that way,” he commented, before diving back in, kissing Yuu again.

credit to @cafekitsune for divider