#hydrophobia -

[shadowthehedgehonk]

drown

[jean-meowreau]

So it's not a question that Jean was tortured in the nest. and I'm damn sure he would have been waterboarded at least once, if not regularly.

I kinda want to see him struggling with cleaning himself. He's so used to using a sponge and a bucket of water in the shower. Standing at the far end, farthest away from the shower head, and cleaning himself that way. It's always a quick endeavor; being that close to a water spout puts him on edge. And it's not a secret to Jeremy, Cat, and Laila - Jean only does a quick rinse in the showers in the locker rooms, taking the one that has a removable wand, and never letting it get it near his face. He showers at home and washes his hair at home. They never see him with wet hair. He disappears for the rest of the evening when he cleans his hair. He locks Jeremy out of the bedroom for at least four hours, and then is stoic and silent and not even making his usual snarky comments when he finally lets him in for the evening. But Jean will always grab Bark Bark after those times and set the cardboard cut out he claims to despise right against the head of his bed, and he falls asleep looking at Bark Bark's face.

Jeremy finally gets the nerve to ask Kevin, and he quietly explains that Jean would get waterboarded sometimes as punishment. For menial issues. If The Master decided a beating wasn't enough, he had Riko and Kevin hold Jean to a chair as he was punished.

Jeremy doesn't speak to Kevin for a while after that. He knows, realistically, Kevin couldn't do anything where he was - it would've ended with both of them being waterboarded or worse. But the anger he feels, that Jean went through all of that alone, without support, and had to have someone he loves part of the process... so he starts researching hydrophobia. They change out the shower head to be a wand, with an extra long hose, so Jean can put it outside of the shower when he's cleaning himself. Jeremy hangs back from practices with Jean an extra thirty minutes so when they head into the locker rooms the shower Jean prefers is free without a doubt. He makes sure to always be within his line of sight while he's showering, hands visible and towel free.

And then one day Jean very quietly asks Jeremy for help washing his hair. "It will be quicker if you do the water. Please." His breath is caught in his throat as he steps into the half-stall, takes the wand, and waits for instructions. Jean bends forward, his shoulders shaking, but there is already shampoo in his hands. He takes a deep, steadying breath, and then whispers for Jeremy to do it.

He freezes up, just for a moment, before saying, "I'm going to touch you, Jean." He waits for the younger man to nod before setting a hand against his shoulder. He taps touches along the shape of his head before biting his lip as he rests the side of his hand against Jean's brow line. "Are you sure you want to go this way? Bending backwards would keep it off your face."

"Less exposed," is all Jean replies, his voice quiet, trying not to let it waver.

Jeremy makes a sound of understanding and uses the hand holding the wand to grab the knob. "It's away from your face. I'm going to turn the water on." Jean nods once, one hand reaching to take hold of Jeremy's wrist closest. He flinches slightly at the sound of the water and squeezes Jeremy's wrist a little tighter. They stay like that, listening to the water hit the tile wall before trickling down the drain. They wait, Jeremy waits, until Jean lets go of his wrist and lets out a long breath.

"Ready?"

Jean nods.

Jeremy brings the wand around and lets the water hit his shoulder before he quickly brings it around and sprays across Jean's hair. He uses his hand against Jean's forehead to try and block water from falling in his eyes. Three quick passes, and his hair is soaked. Jeremy turns off the water briefly as Jean quickly scrubs the shampoo into his hair. He holds his hands out in front, and Jeremy turns the water on. He rises Jean's hands before going back to his hair.

"Please help," Jean asks softly.

Jeremy steps in a bit closer and pulls his hand from Jean's forehead. "Cover your eyes." He waits for the younger man to comply before running the wand side to side in quick stripes, combing his hand through dark hair, easily coaxing out the shampoo. Once his hair is clean, Jeremy turns off the water and combs both hands through, squeezing any excess from Jean's hair. "No towel, right?"

"No towel," Jean confirms. He stands to his full height once Jeremy has finished, and blinks a few times. He is breathing a bit rapidly still, but his shoulders and hands aren't shaking like they normally are.

Jeremy offers him an encouraging smile. "You did great."

"I have been working on it. I want to be part of the team. I want to have conversations after practice in the locker room. I enjoy everyone's jokes," Jean says quietly. He seems to be warring with his next question, so Jeremy waits him out. He strips down, out of his damp gear, and starts his own shower. Jean leans against the tile wall, still sharing the space despite the flow of water. Jeremy feels something close to pride blooming in his chest at Jean's improvement in just under a year since being with them. "Jeremy?"

"Yeah?"

"Would you be comfortable to help me wash my hair like that every time?"

The blond looks up, water hitting his face, but nothing can stop his grin. "Anything you need, J."

"It won't make you feel awkward?"

"Not at all."

Jean nods and then quietly asks, "Would you be able to help me request to always be able to use this shower? Just until I improve more. I know Nabil prefers it."

"I know he'd be happy to help you, especially if it means a chance at Jean bonding time," Jeremy says with a smile as he rinses the shampoo from his hair. "Do you want to ask him with me there, or would you like for me to ask?"

Jean falls quiet once again, mulling it over and staring at his feet. Jeremy leaves him to his thoughts, running a loofah across his skin, enjoying the gentle friction, the barely there scratches.

"Would it be okay for you to ask but me be there?"

Jeremy blinks away the fogginess, the comfort of the shower and the relaxation the mindless tasks bring him. He nods once, and then frowns. Jean doesn't get to experience this. The comfort of water pounding against skin, the feeling of it cleaning away literal and figurative grime clinging to his body. He doesn't get to enjoy those little tremors of the first trickles of water against his scalp, electricity pinging down his spine, water quick to follow its path. The comfort of a shower, of cleaning himself and stepping out fully refreshed. "Jean?"

"Yes, Jeremy?"

"I'm going to help you as much as I can. Whatever you want or need, I will do it. Even if it means washing you by hand myself. I want you to be able to enjoy showers."

There's a long pause before Jean speaks again. Jeremy doesn't mind; he uses that time to rinse the soap from himself. When he shuts off the water, Jean finally speaks once more.

"I am jealous of how you look after you bathe. Your smile is softer and your eyes sparkle, you are always so relaxed and comfortable. I want that."

Jeremy nods. "I want that for you, too. Let's work on it, yeah? First, though, we've got to change and get outside for the barbecue. Cat is going to kick the door in soon if we take any longer."

[nickolashx]

Mourning Tide (2024)

Mourning Tide is a free psychological horror fishing game made by the indie game studio 'Liquid Squid'.

A guilt-ridden fisherman ventures into unknown waters. Each catch reveals haunting reminders of his past sins. Unravel the mystery and seek redemption, or be consumed by the mourning tide...

Download it here

[rabiddogjournal]

oh be a fine girl, kiss me ✸

[alohamoon]

I feel bad for those who are scared of the sea. Boy you a missing the fuck out, that shit is beautiful

[billystorm]

art trade with @vvortexccordis

[fandomsareforlife]

Cold Water And Cold Feet

Summary:

Water was dangerous. It killed so many people. Why would anyone willing go into it?

OR Kai is scared of water, and has to swim for gym class. Zane tries to help with that.

A/N: This is for NWOD Who Wrote That, with the prompt being "write about something a ninja would fear, no matter how big or small it is." Kai is canonically scared of water so I thought it fit.

Warnings: Panic attack, descriptions of hydrophobia

READ ON AO3

Kai's mouth was dry as he was led out of the doors of the changing rooms, the halls only illuminated by the weak overhead. Kai weakly tried to pull his arm out of Zane's grasp, but the self proclaimed 'wild teen' wasn't letting him.

Resisted the urge to whine, Kai gently kicked Zane with his flip-flop.

"Come on, babe, we really don't have to do this," Kai whined.

"We really do have to do this. You need to take swimming to pass gym, and you can not currently be in any body of water without panicking," was Zane's calm response. Kai groaned, rubbing his face with his hand,prompting Zane to laugh. "It will be fun! I promise!"

Kai shook his head. "Maybe it's fun for you, watching your boyfriend suffer, but it won't be for me." Zane shrugged, not dignifying Kaï's comment with a response. Which was fair, it was pretty dumb, considering Zane didn't like seeing his friends in distress.

The pair managed to get to the glass double doors of the pool and hot tub area. Kai felt his chest get taught at the sight of the 12-foot deep pool. He couldn't figure out why anyone would go into such a massive death trap willingly. Didn't they know 390 people drowned in a pool a year?

Entering the room, Kai pulled his swim shirt over his nose, gagging at the strong scent of chlorine. Master, he was going to vomit or something. The bright lights, a million times brighter than the ones in the hall, and the humidness were not helping. Kai's head pounded from the fear and the overwhelmingness, and his legs wouldn't move, no matter how much he wanted to bolt.

All he could do was stare at the bright blue body of water.

Why was no else there? Did they all drown? That life guard didn't look that attentive, it wasn't impossible.

A cold hand cupped Kai's cheek, causing Kai to yelp and jerk away, almost stumbling without having any traction from these stupid flip flops. The hand reached out, steadying him and turning him away from the pool. Trying to take a deep breath to calm himself, Kai realized his nose was stuffed up from crying.

Whining, Kai scrubbed his face to get rid of the tears.

"Kai? Can you take a deep breath for me?" Zane's voice broke through the fog that had eclipsed Kai's mind, and Kai latched onto it like it was a life preserver. Zane's hand was on his chest, and his hand was on Zane's, and Zane's soft voice was instructing him to match his breathing.

Kai could do that. He could focus on the calm, steady voice forcing him to breath. He can do that, even in a place like this, surrounded by death.

Eventually, Kaï's crying was reduced to mostly coughing, and Zane was using the towel he brough to wipe at his face. Kai closed his eyes, feeling exhausted. He couldn't relax, though, not with the source of so many of his nightmares still there.

Cold arms wrapped around him, allowing Kai to bury his face in Zane's chest, hiding from the world for a few minutes. Zane didn't say anything as Kai took shaky breaths, kicking his leg behind him. Kai could have kissed him, probably would when they were out of this fucking room and in Kai's car.

"Are you feeling better?' Zane's soft voice broke through the fuzziness that threatened to overcome Kai, and it took everything to nod in response. Kai wasn't sure he could do much more.

Humming, Zane took a look around the room. Kai couldn't figure out what he was looking for, because there wasn't anything here but just two places you could die and the exit. Kai let Zane look around, figuring they would go soon enough.

"What do you think about trying to get your feet wet in the hot tub?" was not what Kai expected to hear.

"They are very similar to a bath, but would help you get used to the chlorine."

Kai whined and shook his head. "No! No! I can't-I don't want to die."

Zane cupped his face. "Kai, you can't drown in a hot tub without trying very hard to, and I'll be right next to you. Can you try for me?" Even though his words were gentle, and Kai knew it would make Zane very happy, he shook his head. He didn't think he could handle going into the water.

Zane sighed but nodded. "Alright then, that's the goal then. We will work up to being in the water, okay?" His words were gentle, as was his hand when it guided Kai out of the room into the hall. Kai nodded, shame filling up in him.

"Yeah. That sounds good." Kai wiped his face with his towel. "Sorry, by the way."

Zane shrugged. "I expected this to happen. Thankfully, we have 4 months to get you over your fear. I have no doubt we will be accomplish that."

Ah, Kai always appreciated Zane's never ending optimism. It was refreshing to hear.

Weakly laughing, Kai leaned against Zane, causing the taller teen to run a hand through his hair. "Okay. I can try."

"That's all I asked for," was the soft response.

Maybe Kai couldn't get his feet wet now, but he will eventually, with Zane's help.

[dailyenglishvoca]

Today's song is Hydrophobia by Carbon Monoxide featuring the Synthesizer V voicebank ROSE

Content warning: themes concerning mental and physical illness, hospitalization and near-death experiences, and the long-term psychological ramifications of childhood abuse

[pazam]

Happy MerMay! 🧜‍♀️🤿

[vortex--cordis]

she lights cigarettes like lanterns for the darkness in my head

[appealingtonobody]

[runningfromadream]

There's a theory that says you don't exist unless someone calls and you respond.

Sam Sax, Hydrophobia 

[rabiddogjournal]

vainnes my beloved

original painting by leyendecker under the cut!

[cruger2984]

THE DESCRIPTION OF SAINT DENIS The Bishop and Martyr Against Frenzy, Headaches and Hydrophobia Feast Day: October 9

The patron of France, and those who against frenzy, strife, headaches and hydrophobia (the fear of water), was born in Italy during the third century. Italy was under the Roman Empire at that time. The medieval and modern French masculine given name 'Denis' derives from the Latin name Dionysius from Greek Dionysios. In 250, Pope Fabian sent him and six other missionary bishops to preach the Gospel to Gaul. There, Denis was appointed as the first bishop of Paris. The persecutions under Emperor Decius had all but dissolved the small Christian community at Lutetia (modern-day Paris).

They were so effective in converting the people that the pagan priests became alarmed over their loss of followers. At their instigation, the Roman Governor arrested the missionaries. After a long imprisonment, Denis and two of his clergies were beheaded, on the highest hill in Paris (now Montmartre), which was likely to have been a druidic holy place. The martyrdom of Denis and his companions is popularly believed to have given the site its current name, derived from the Latin Mons Martyrum 'The Martyrs' Mountain', although the name is possibly derived from Mons Mercurii et Mons Martis, Hill of Mercury and Mars.

After his head was cut off, Denis is said to have picked it up and walked several miles from the summit of the hill, preaching a sermon the entire way, making him one of many cephalophores in hagiology. Of the many accounts of this martyrdom, this is noted in detail in the Golden Legend and in Butler's Lives Of The Saints. The site where he stopped preaching and actually died was marked by a small shrine that developed into the Basilica of Saint-Denis, which became the burial place for the kings of France. Another account has his corpse being thrown into the Seine, but recovered and buried later that night by his converts.

The veneration of Denis began soon after his death. The bodies of Denis, Eleutherius, and Rusticus were buried on the spot of their martyrdom, where the construction of the eponymous basilica was begun by Genevieve, assisted by the people of Paris. The great-grandson of Chlothar I, Dagobert I, had the first Royal Basilica built.

The site of their tomb became the foundation for the Basilica of Saint-Denis, which became the burial place for the kings of France.

[blossompuppy]

Chibi commission for @vortex--cordis ! Love these gay people