#hw exotics

[hotwheelings]

[scionshtola]

tbf i do think the story could have given the wol more of a connection to it/the antagonist outside of solely through wuk lamat and that probably would have alleviated a lot of ppl’s problems with it

[skyward-floored]

Whumptober Day 23 - Forced choice, secrets revealed, (public display) - Warriors & Legend

Slipping some hdw au into this one heh heh heh

If you’re unfamiliar with it, all you really need to know is that hw Link is part dragon. Since this is lu, that’d be Warriors. Also unrelated to hdw, Legend’s mermaid tail works like it does in my other mermaid Legend fics. Hee.

Warnings: brief blood & injury, whipping (offscreen), brief/implied animal abuse.

Ao3 link

NEXT (day 29)

————————————————————

“All right boys, I have a deal for you.”

Warriors glared at the woman who’d spoken, her smile much too bright for the situation. Her boot pressed down harder on Legend’s chest, and the veteran wheezed, gills flaring as he tried to get in water that wasn’t there.

“The only deal I’m making is one that involves you letting him go,” Warriors snapped, and the woman let out a tsk, sending dark hair over her shoulder as she shook her head.

“That’s not an option. He’s just what my troupe needs, a new attraction, some extra spice. ‘The boy who can breathe both water and air! Watch as his legs twist into one, how he defies nature itself!’” she said excitedly. “Business will boom!”

The group of performers around her cheered, shaking their weapons in the air. Legend wheezed again, and Warriors looked down at him in a panic, his tail flapping weakly in the shallow water it rested in. It was just enough water to trigger Legend’s mermaid tail, but not nearly enough for him to breathe.

The whole situation was ridiculous honestly, the two of them swarmed by the group after Legend had tripped on a loose cobblestone and accidentally triggered his scales by falling into the gutter. It would be laughable if Legend wasn’t trapped and essentially drowning, and Warriors didn’t have a good dozen weapons pointed at his neck.

Legend’s face was starting to turn red from lack of air, and he was giving Warriors a look that begged him not to do anything stupid.

Unfortunately, Warriors already had a stupid plan forming.

“I’d hate to ruin such a pretty face, so here’s the deal,” the woman with her boot on Legend’s chest said. “You let us leave with your friend, no fighting, no following, and in return, we won’t kill you.”

“Pass,” Warriors said with a glare, sword clenched tightly in his palm. The woman made a pouting face.

“Aw, can’t we settle this like civilized people? We’ll be gentle, so long as you cooperate,” she smiled, and dug her heel into Legend’s ribs.

Legend grunted in pain, and Warriors swallowed, his thoughts whirling. His idea really was stupid, and the thought of using it made him cringe, but he was outnumbered and rapidly running out of time. Legend’s wheezes kept growing more frantic, and Warriors didn’t want to bet his safety on whether he could take on the entire crowd.

At least he wasn’t in his own Hyrule. Revealing the secret here would be awful, and he knew these people would exploit the knowledge, but at least it wouldn’t come with the political firestorm it would at home.

And if it got Legend free, it was worth it.

Warriors sighed.

“What if I have a better deal for you?” he asked, and the woman raised an eyebrow.

“What kind of a deal? If it involves you, I already have a fella,” she said mildly, and Warriors swallowed.

“Nothing like that. A trade. Me for my friend.”

Laughter went through the group, and the woman snorted. “You may have a pretty face, but you’re nothing compared to a merman, honey. Sorry.”

“Would it change things if I told you I’m half dragon?” he said quietly.

The woman’s ears flicked, her eyes widening. “Oh?”

“Yes. Much more exotic then a kid with a curse,” Warriors said, keeping his eyes off of Legend. He wished he could’ve told him about this on his own terms. Who knew what he was thinking at the moment. “If you let him go, I’ll come quietly.”

“And do everything I say?” the woman said with a raised eyebrow, and Warriors swallowed back the bile that rose in his throat. He would escape. It wouldn’t be for long.

“Yes.”

She hummed consideringly, eyes trailing over Warriors. Legend wheezed again, and she glanced down at him, then back up again, crossing her arms.

“Well, I can’t really pass that up, can I?” she said, and snapped her fingers. Two burly men came up and grabbed Warriors’ arms, one twisting his sword out of his grip.

Warriors didn’t resist like he said he would, and happened to catch Legend’s eye, the other hero giving him an unreadable look. He was pretty sure he saw exasperation in his gaze though.

I don’t have a tail whenever I get wet, Legend, I’ll be able to escape better than you.

Warriors’ arms were tied behind his back, and he breathed out as the woman finally stepped off of Legend’s chest. A different bunch of people came forward as she snapped her fingers again, hauling Legend up out of the water, and they held him still while his tail split back into legs.

Legend began to struggle the moment he had his legs back, but the people held him tight, suddenly pulling ropes over his wrists and ankles. Warriors watched in shock as Legend was thrown back to the ground, a cloth tied over his mouth, and he snapped his gaze over to the woman.

“You said you’d let him go!” Warriors shouted, struggling wildly against the men’s hold. He shot an elbow out, trying to hit one in the face, but they only twisted his hands tighter behind his back, at an angle that felt like they were close to breaking.

The woman who was obviously in charge came over to him while he struggled, still smiling happily.

“We had a deal!” Warriors spat.

“We didn’t shake on it hon,” she said with a shrug, tapping his nose. “And there’s no way I’d pass up on a real mer. I happen to have a use for dragon blood at the moment, but even if you were lying about that, having another pretty face around is always good for business. I’m sure I’ll find a use for you somewhere.”

Warriors tried to lunge for her, but the men held him back, kicking his legs out from under him. Warriors dropped to his knees as she walked away with a laugh, and locked eyes with Legend, the veteran’s expression frantic as he was dragged away as well.

Oh Legend I’m sorry.

Then something hit him in the head, and with a burst of pain, Warriors knew no more.

(...)

A tapping noise woke him back up.

Warriors groaned, eyes flickering as he tried to figure out where the tapping was coming from. His head was throbbing, but it wasn’t too bad, and he pried his eyes open, a mostly dark room meeting him. The pounding kept up, more quickly now, and Warriors raised his head and looked to the side.

Two glowing eyes stared at him, and Warriors yelped, sitting up rather abruptly.

His head hit wood, and he made a pained noise, rubbing his forehead. He looked back over at the eyes, and Legend gave him a grim smile, the motion making the scales on his cheeks shine.

Oh. Right.

Warriors groaned, more in annoyance this time than anything, and glanced around, wrinkling his nose at the small cage he’d been dumped in. It was wood on the floor and ceiling, but metal bars blocked off everything else, the door firmly locked.

“Well. This is just lovely,” he sighed, and Legend let out a snort that shot out bubbles.

“Yeah, quite a nice predicament we’ve landed ourselves in. You okay, pretty boy?” Legend asked, his voice warbling a little strangely. Warriors was surprised he could hear him through the thick glass. “Or should I say dragon boy? Nice plan by the way.”

“Sorry, it was all I could think of,” Warriors apologized, leaning against the bars with a wince. The cage was so small he could only just barely sit up.

“Yeah, well it was a valiant effort,” Legend hummed, rubbing a dark bruise on his arm. He was silent for a moment. “Were you uh... were you serious?”

“About being half dragon?” Warriors asked, and Legend nodded. “...Yeah. It’s true. On my father’s side.”

Legend made a noise Warriors wasn’t sure how to interpret. “Huh. Well, I’ve heard weirder.”

Legend didn’t sound accusatory or disgusted or anything, mostly curious, and Warriors’ shoulders lost some tension he didn’t even know he’d been holding. It looked like Legend wasn’t weirded out much at all. Which was understandable since he was currently covered in blue scales and barely looked Hylian at the moment, but the reassurance was nice.

“...So how’d your mom get with a lizard exactly?”

Warriors’ goodwill towards Legend immediately disappeared. “Oh don’t even start, no, he has a hylian form! Don’t be weird!” he said in disgust, and Legend laughed, the sound oddly musical.

It broke into a bit of a wheeze, and Warriors’ exasperation turned into concern as Legend coughed a couple times.

“...Are you okay vet?” he asked worriedly, and Legend waved him off with a webbed hand.

“Yeah... yeah, ‘m good. Having a heel ground into my chest didn’t do me any favors,” he said with one last cough. “And all this going back and forth between lungs and gills isn’t much fun. But I’m alright.”

Warriors took a moment to study Legend, bruises painted across his skin, fins drooping. He didn’t look too bad, but he wasn’t in great shape.

“So how are we getting out of here?” Legend asked, breaking Warriors’ thoughts.

“We’ll think of something,” Warriors sighed, looking around his cage. “If I had something to pick the lock I could get out of this thing at least. Think you could get out on your end?”

“I already tried breaking the glass, it’s reinforced or something,” Legend grumbled. “And again with the lock, there’s bars over the top of the tank.”

“So we’re stuck for now, then.”

“Yep.”

Silence fell over them as they digested their situation, and Warriors sighed, looking around their prison. He was pretty sure there were in the back of a large wagon of some sort, based on the size and shape of the area. A few small beams of sunlight snuck through some cracks, lighting up more cages and equipment Warriors really hoped wasn’t for them.

He wondered what that woman was going to do with him. Legend was very obviously exotic—all she would really have to do was put him in a tank and the money would pour in—but Warriors looked rather normal. She said she had a use for him, for someone with dragon blood specifically, but what exactly was she thinking?

And how was he going to get him and Legend out of this mess?

A quiet chirping cry broke the silence, and Legend and Warriors both froze, pricking their ears.

“What on earth was that?” Legend asked in confusion, and Warriors shushed him, eyes narrowing. His night vision was a bit better than most Hylians, but he still couldn’t see very well in the shadowy room. And something about that sound...

He could just barely make out another cage, a spot of sunlight shining beside it, and another crying chirp came from its direction. Something about the sound struck Warriors right in the chest, and he kicked at the bars, peering through them and trying to see better.

“Whoa, what’s gotten into you? Any clue what that is?” Legend asked, and Warriors growled, kicking at his cage again.

“I don’t know, but it sounds hurt. I don’t think it—”

“Ma!”

Warriors went silent again, listening as the tiny voice repeated its cry. Legend looked utterly confused as Warriors kicked at the bars again, another tiny cry ringing through the room, and he growled in frustration.

“Cap, seriously, why are you so wound up? It’s probably just an animal or something,” Legend said confusedly, and Warriors stared at him. “I don’t like that it’s trapped either, but we can’t get it out right now.”

“An animal? Can’t you hear it talking?” Warriors said in disbelief, and Legend slowly shook his head.

“All I hear is growling and chirping. ...How hard did they hit your head?”

Warriors opened his mouth to argue, but a door was suddenly opened, and the room flooded with light. Warriors and Legend both squinted against it, and the chirping cries faltered into a whimper.

Footsteps clicked against the wooden floor, and the woman who’d gotten them both in here stood above the two of them, flanked by two larger assistants.

“Oh great, you,” Legend grumbled.

“Me. You might want to fix that attitude there merman, or today isn’t going to be much fun for you,” she said with a tsk. “Time to learn some tricks.”

“I already know plenty of tricks, I don’t need more,” Legend shot back, his arms crossed.

“It’s always good to expand your repertoire. But first,” she said with a clap, turning back to Warriors. “Let’s see that supposed dragon blood put to some good use. Hope you weren’t lying, honey.”

One of the burly people she’d brought with her stepped away, and went over to where the frantic chirping had been coming from. He came back with a cage in hand that was only about as big across as a shield, then put on a hefty pair of gloves.

The cage was set down, and then opened, the man quickly grabbing something from inside. A terrified chirp came from the cage, and Warriors and Legend both watched in shock as a tiny pale green dragon was yanked out, its eyes wide with fear.

Outrage burned in Warriors’ chest, and he watched in distaste as the poor creature was manhandled, the man avoiding its attempts to bite and claw him. Warriors stiffened as the man approached his cage, but didn’t have time to attempt an escape as he unlocked the door and quickly tossed the dragon in.

It hit the ground with a small thump, then wailed, scrambling to its feet and immediately running for a corner. It cowered against the bars, spikes on its back raised threateningly, and bared its teeth as a squeaky growl came from its throat.

Then it froze, nostrils twitching.

It raised its nose in the air, and suddenly looked straight at Warriors, eyes wide.

Then it made a beeline for him, chirping in distress as it clawed its way up his leg. Warriors jumped and nearly kicked it away, but something stopped him, something that told him the tiny dragon wasn’t a threat. Sure enough it didn’t try to bite him, and quickly latched itself onto his shirt, body trembling. Warriors carefully touched its head, and it butted cautiously against him.

“Well then, looks like you might have been telling the truth after all,” the woman hummed in interest, tapping her chin as the dragon clung to Warriors’ shirt. “I need someone who it’ll listen to, I haven’t made any progress getting the thing to behave. But if you’re dragon like it is, then you should have no problem.”

“He,” Warriors said quietly, running a careful hand over the tiny scales. The dragon nuzzled into his hand. “It’s a he.”

“Good to know. Start training it,” she said, and put a hand on the whip at her belt. “Or else this will be unpleasant for all of us.”

“Are you kidding? Look how small he is, he’s only a hatchling. You can’t train a baby,” Legend snapped from his tank, and the woman gave him a look.

“I’ll do whatever the public wants to see. Now come along honey, you have tricks to learn.”

The burly people she’d brought with her unlocked the top of Legend’s cage, then dragged him out despite his best efforts, tossing him onto the floor. Legend grimaced as his tail turned to legs yet again, and before he could recover he’d been grabbed and was quickly dragged away.

“Hey!” Warriors shouted when one of them kicked Legend, and the veteran struggled viciously. “Get your hands off—!”

The door was slammed, cutting off the sound of Legend’s struggling. Warriors was plunged into darkness once again.

He let out a tense breath, and looked down, the dragon still shaking against his chest. He was trying to work his way under Warriors’ scarf at the moment, and Warriors lifted a fold out of the way so he could slide in.

The shaking eased a little finally, and Warriors studied the tiny dragon in quiet curiosity. It was less like dragons he’d seen in his world and more like Wild’s, a long body, small legs, no visible wings. Two tiny horns poked from his head, and his eyes were bright with a pure green that reminded Warriors of Faron woods.

He’d never seen a dragon that wasn’t full-grown before, and Warriors looked at every detail in quiet fascination. He grew more worried the longer he studied the creature though, noting how thin he was, his scales lacking some sparkle.

Warriors may never have seen a baby dragon before, but he knew what a healthy dragon should look like.

And this wasn’t it.

“Ma,” the dragon chirped again, breaking him from his thoughts. He whimpered as he hid in Warriors scarf, claws scratching him a little. “Ma.”

A little wail came from the dragon, and Warriors felt that sharp feeling in his chest again, a frantic urge to fix the problem, get rid of the threat, stop the crying.

“Hey, hey it’s okay,” he tried, wishing he could purr on command as the hatchling cried. Unfortunately that particular quirk only seemed to happen without his permission. “We’ll find your mom and get you out of here. Calm down.”

He scratched a careful hand over the dragon’s head, and his wails quieted a bit. He looked at Warriors with his bright eyes, and tilted his head.

“Ma?” he asked, and Warriors nodded.

“Exactly, we’ll get you back to your mom,” he assured, all while he was wondering how exactly he was going to do that.

The dragon made a small chirp, and nestled himself up next to Warriors’ neck, still shaking just a little. Warriors kept scratching near the base of his horns, and the dragon gradually relaxed, tiny claws flexing.

Warriors glanced at the empty tank beside them, worry clenching at his chest. He didn’t know what Legend was dealing with, but he hoped it wouldn’t be too bad.

Right. Like our luck is ever that good.

The dragon let out a sound Warriors thought was a sniffle, and he petted him again, letting him nuzzle deeper into his scarf. At least the little guy wasn’t attacking him. Can he tell I’m half dragon? Is that enough to label me not a threat?

...Or is it just a Hero thing?

Warriors sighed, and attempted to get in a more comfortable position as the dragon chirped again. It didn’t really matter much.

What really mattered was figuring out how they were going to get out of this.

(...)

Hours passed, Warriors attempting to talk to the dragon, and not getting very far. He gave up eventually, and tried to think of some semblance of a plan while he waited for Legend to come back.

But Legend was gone for a long time. Long enough that both Warriors and the dragon were asleep when the door finally reopened.

They both startled, and the dragon chirped in alarm as moonlight spilled into the room, tiny scales sticking up as he scurried under Warriors’ scarf. Warriors quickly sat up as the same two burly men came in, and sucked in a breath as Legend was dragged in behind them.

He wasn’t moving.

Legend was lifted up and tossed back in the tank without a word, and Warriors clenched the bars as he saw him jerk, blood floating through the water. A brief cry came from him as his legs merged back into a tail, and he went limp as it finished, breathing heavily.

“Legend?” Warriors asked frantically as the men left, leaving them in darkness again, “hey, Legend, talk to me. What did they do?”

Legend didn’t reply for a few long moments, floating silently except for his pained breathing. More blood wafted through the water, and Warriors caught a glimpse of red lines cut into his back.

“Oh Legend, did they whip you?” He whispered, and Legend finally opened his eyes, blinking slowly.

“Mm... yeah,” he mumbled, letting himself drift down to the bottom of the tank. He breathed out tiredly. “Kept talking back, refused to do what they wanted. Lady didn’t like it. Actually got loose once, gave her a black eye. Really didn’t like that.”

He chuckled, then grimaced, wrapping his arms around himself.

“Legend, why didn’t you just play along?” Warriors asked in dismay, and Legend huffed.

“Tried to at first. Didn’t work,” Legend grumbled, then hissed as he shifted around a little.

Warriors watched in alarm as a little more blood wafted into the water, and Legend grimaced as he tried to get himself into a comfortable position.

“‘M alright Wars,” Legend sighed when he fell still, his eyes closing again. “It’s not that bad. Won’t let ‘em win.”

“I know,” Warriors said quietly.

The dragon still in Warriors’ scarf finally poked his head out, and crept along Warriors’ arm, nose twitching as he stared at Legend. Legend opened his eyes again, and the two of them watched each other in silence.

“Made a friend?” Legend rasped, and Warriors hummed, reaching a few fingers through the bars to just barely brush Legend’s tank.

“Yeah. He mostly initiated it though. Poor little thing is terrified,” he replied, watching the dragon settle down on his arm. “And before you ask, I can understand him a little, but not everything.” Warriors had gotten as far as getting him to say something vaguely like his name, but that was really it.

“Any idea how he got here?” Legend asked, and Warriors shrugged, the dragon still watching Legend with his bright green eyes.

“He can’t talk that much. Probably the same way we did, more or less. But... I’m thinking he might actually help get us out of here, if I can figure out everything he can do,” Warriors said with a small smile. Legend hummed, and shakily moved forward a bit, resting his head against the side of the tank around where Warriors’ fingers brushed.

“I’ll let... you plan, then,” Legend murmured, and closed his eyes again.

“And you rest. Sounds good,” Warriors replied softly.

Legend didn’t say anything else, and Warriors kept his fingers on the glass until his breathing evened out, and he knew the younger hero was asleep. He drew back with a sigh, leaning his back against the bars again, and the little dragon moved to his lap, still watching Legend.

“You hear that little guy?” Warriors said softly, running a hand over his head. “I’m going to think of a plan to get us all out of here.”

“Ink,” the dragon chirped in agreement, nestling up to his shirt.

Warriors sighed again as the little dragon closed his eyes, and while the more scaly prisoners slept, Warriors thought and planned, all to the sound of tiny snores and raspy breathing.

[cl0zzie]

Okay, so you know how almost everyone either headcanons or theorize Michael possessing Glamrock Freddy?

Well I can though "what instead Glamrock Freddy, Mike possesses Helpy"

Because I see Michael being more connected to Helpy then Glamrock Freddy.

I mean in Pizzaria Simulator I personally believe we play as Michael (makes sense narrative wise) even though we never see him.

But you know who we do see? Helpy. In store when Mike buys things Helpy is there, in minigames Helpy plays them when Michael tests them, in the Night Shift Helpy on top of the computer.

Now these aren't the only reasons why I headcanon Milpy (I couldn't think of a good name:/)

With how Steel Wool is using Helpy alot more we see insite of Helpy as a Character.

In HW: Helpy is just kinda there... While yes he doesn't play a major roll we see little gifs in loading screen where he performing a task of a level. But then that when the Dreadbear DLC happens

HW(DLC): in DB Helpy can be found in Foxy Pirate ride Helpy is there as a sorta guide on where the player goes ( shoot him and he'll flip around and player is tooken to a secret area)

And Mike is connected to Foxy (He wears a Foxy mask in FNAF 4, canonically gets jump scared by FT Foxy in night 3, and losely if you like The idea of Mike being Foxy in the 'Go, Go, Go' minigame.

Helpi is something I can't really explain since I don't know if he just hacked by Glitchtrap or if Helpi he's own person... So Imma skip that.

HW2: Helpy is shown to kinda just be Faz Bear's employee insert of sorta (if that makes since) and test dumby.

(Also in the Medical minigames a add on the tv plays a Ad of "Pickels Vs Popcorn" and Michael eat popcorn and in pizzaria simulate he can get sponsored or buy pickles.)

But moving on is where I want to talk about a little scene in HW2 after the player takes Helpy prize thing (That Helpy was telling them to "not waste time" on the tv screen) after that and a minigame Helpy can be seen on a screen Sitting on a beach sipping a Exotic Butter soda, in a book called the Survival Logbook (who is owned by Michael) he does these little doodles and one of them is a drawing of a beach.

Now was this mostly loosely strung together conwesidents (probably)

But god damnit I wanted to justify a stupid headcanons I had for months now.

[justforbooks]

Citizen: My Life After the White House by Bill Clinton

In this account of his years after leaving office, Clinton is a hyperactive and loquacious presence, helping out in disaster zones and pontificating about public service – but he reveals little about his private life

American presidents are supposed to renounce pomp and disappear into private life when their term ends. George Washington enjoyed sampling the whiskey produced by the distillery at his Virginia plantation, while George W Bush currently amuses himself by clearing underbrush on his Texas ranch. Bill Clinton, aged only 54 when he left office in 2001, spurned bucolic oblivion; as he says with scriptural solemnity: “I didn’t think my work here on Earth was finished just yet.” Although he calls his memoir Citizen to signal his reduced status, he admits to hankering after his years as a conqueror, with military bands that struck up Hail to the Chief as his personal anthem whenever he strode into a room.

Because the presidency has grown ever more undemocratically monarchical, Clinton toyed with a possible succession. His wife’s candidacy in 2016 offered him the prospect of returning to the White House as her First Gentleman, and his daughter, Chelsea, might have exotically extended the family line: in 2002 Muammar Gadaffi suggested marrying her to his son and thereby “launching a dynasty”. But Hillary lost to Trump, Chelsea nixed the proposal, and instead Clinton has incorporated himself. He set up the Clinton Foundation, kept it flush with his lecture fees and soon presided over an empire of eponymous acronyms - the CCI (Clinton Climate Initiative), the CDI (Clinton Development Initiative), the CGI (Clinton Global Initiative), the CHAI (Clinton Health Access Initiative), and so on to the end of the alphabet.

He is frank about his initial motive for keeping busy. “I had to start making money,” he admits, mostly to pay the legal bills accrued during the Republican attempt to impeach him over his entanglement with Monica Lewinsky. Yet for this hyperactive man, being busy is its own reward. In the first section of his book he hurls himself into disaster zones like an ambulance-chasing attorney, usually taking celebrities such as Oprah Winfrey or Sean Penn along for the adrenalised ride. “I volunteered to help,” he says after hearing about an earthquake in Gujurat. With the Asian tsunami he teasingly stands on ceremony: “My staff called the White House to say I wanted to help.”

On the ground he is generous with his presence, reporting that at an Indian hospital he “visited with the patients and families who wanted to say hello”. In a Rwandan village he and Chelsea helpfully mime the filtration process of murky water that would benefit “countless millions of poor people”. A Puerto Rican hurricane supplies “the most fun” when Lin-Manuel Miranda lays on a performance of Hamilton; George Clooney, despatched by Nespresso to encourage ruined coffee planters, joins the party. After a consoling sortie to the battered Maldives, Clinton resumes a triumphal junket “to China, Japan, South Korea and Taiwan to promote my autobiography”. Other countries expecting seismic upsets are tipped off about his likely availability: “I’ll show up if I can.”

Having shown up, Clinton can be counted on to speechify. Although he believes that “the world doesn’t need another talkfest”, he is unstoppably loquacious. With Kim Jong-il he picks over “the usual stilted talking points” and in Bosnia he delivers terse “remarks”. In Accra, however, boosted by loudspeakers at a rally in an open square, he holds forth to a million auditors, “the largest crowd I’ve ever addressed”. He mistakenly assumes that George HW Bush is equally gabby and obliges him “to talk too long to too many people” on one of their humanitarian tours; George W Bush, raising funds for yet another hurricane, astutely warns Clinton to be “short and sweet”. Only once is he both out-talked and unmanned. As a student at Oxford, invited to tea at a women’s college, he likens himself to the ball boy at a testicular tennis match, exhausted by “the verbal serves and volleys that flew across the net”.

Garrulous he may be, but Clinton is convivial without being confidential. On a mission to extricate two journalists held hostage in North Korea, he remembers to be diplomatically expressionless in the official photograph and even rehearses not smiling. This long book about himself has the same ultimately dreary impersonality. “We all experience good times and grief,” he says, shuttering his private life. He bridles when accused by an interviewer of not apologising personally to Monica Lewinsky: didn’t he express generalised regrets in a public forum during a meeting with “faith leaders” at the White House? It was not, he says, “my finest hour”, referring to the tetchy interview, not to his exploitation of an infatuated intern.

Autobiographical anecdotes are twisted into what Clinton calls “teachable moments”, as when his reminiscence of an outdoor toilet in his Arkansas boyhood, “attractive to snakes in the summer”, introduces a homily about “productive grassroots partnerships with business”. The snakes must have been real enough but the grass they slither in is merely metaphorical. A single specimen of candid unpolitical speech is brattishly uttered by the three-year-old Chelsea when introduced to George HW Bush at his home in Maine. “Where’s the bathroom?” she asks her host.

No wonder that Clinton, always on guard against intimate leakages, so enjoyed collaborating with James Patterson on two thrillers published in 2018 and 2021, in which successive US presidents shed their inhibitions and enjoy careers as action heroes: the first anonymously slips out of the White House to thwart a cyberterrorist, the second ventures to Libya to rescue his kidnapped daughter. Clinton warns that climate change will eject us into “a real-life sequel to the post-apocalyptic Road Warrior movies”, but that swashbuckling apparently appeals to him. Politics, by contrast, seems as deadly dull as the language he uses to describe it. America, he says, has gone “off the rails”, although responsible commentators try “to keep the train on the tracks”: is he angling for honorary membership of Aslef?

Handed a microphone, Clinton is eager to share “an overview of how I view the world”, although these omniscient surveys mostly consist of faded neoliberal truisms. At the end of his book, this overview of the world is replaced by an underview of the universe as he scrutinises “the far reaches of outer space” at a scientific observatory in Hawaii. The interstellar void seen through the telescope makes him ask, with a shudder that the banal phrasing fails to muffle: “What does it all mean in the grand scheme of things?” His foundation, its funds and its global good works suddenly shrivel, and Clinton rebukes those who pursue “worldly political power” with a misplaced messianic zeal.

Then a few lines later he resumes pontificating about public service, and after a possible glimpse of a “creator God” out there in the darkness, he concludes by insisting “I’m happy.” This was written before the recent election; I’ll bet he no longer feels quite so cosmically complacent.

Daily inspiration. Discover more photos at Just for Books…?

[eruverse]

It’s heartwarming when people are careful about how they portray their own country’s personifications. Meanwhile the most unhinged hws Indonesia portrayals have always come from Indonesians themselves. Like, for example what would OUTSIDERS think when they see my fellow people depict Indonesia as the ‘exotic Asian boyfriend’ of Netherlands?? (Believe me, this actually happens lol). Would these outsiders think that they can excuse this racist and colonialist mindset bc INDONESIANS FUCKING DO IT OURSELVES?? Like I even heard of some Dutch who were weirded out by whatever shit Indonesian fandom does lol, like, yes us Indonesians are this unhinged. But of fucking course, when actually confronted many Indonesians would retort that people are just taking this too seriously and fiction is fiction thus they can do whatever shit they want!! BRUH YOU ARE JUST SELF HATING INDONESIANS AND US WHO DON’T CAN SEE THRU YOUR ROTTEN CORE I hope Sukarno punishes you in your dreams

[star-girl69]

Pt2.

YOU HEADCANON FOR MEEE🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭. Please have mercy on my heart, I actually can't. Like omg I started honestly doing cartwheels when I read that.

You have amazing intuition though. I am English but I am also part something else a bit more exotic I like to think. I play basketball and volleyball a lot so I have different sessions of each every other week if that makes sense. I'm trying to pick which one to drop. So I train for those and then gym in my own time. I also have instrumental lessons which I like and then I work in the evenings.

- ❤️

(YOU WANNA HEAR ABOUT MY DAAAAAY🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭cue the heart palpitations fr fr. Tbh today wasn't that interesting. The most interesting thing that happened was that I had a nosebleed for like 30 minutes during my biology class 😭😭😭😭I fr thought I was dying and I nearly fell down the stairs and burnt my toast(I'm a good cook istgd))

(I really really love pandas)

(I missed you tho beautiful tell me about yourrrrrr day??? How are you feeling?? ❤️❤️❤️)

(You are one of a kind amazing ❤️)

HAHAHAH CARTWHEELS 🤭🤭🤭

YES!!!!!! IM SO SMART!!!!! oh so you’re one of them insane people 😭😭 you’re so much better then me i don’t play a sport and i only work 2 days a week don’t go to the gym why would i ever do that

but i tell myself it’s ok bc i have hip and ankle problems and i take two ap’s and have like an hour and a half to two hours of hw everynight so like basically who cares… i’m smart not athletic so ill be finnneeeeee

what instrument do you play?? i used to play the clarinet like in middle school but then we got a new teacher and i hated him HAHA so i dropped it

(YEEESSSS I WANNA HEAR ABT YOUR DAY??? why is everyone getting like really bad nosebleeds 😭 like ARE YOU OKAY…..? WHAT IS WRONG 😭😭😭 don’t fall down the stairs 💔💔 and also i’m really doubting if you’re a good cook bc how do you BURN TOAST LIKE IT JUST POPS OUT OF THE TOASTER OR AM I DUMB IM PROBABLY DUMB BUT IDK I DONT GET IT)

(i missed you toooooo baby the rest of my day yesterday was ok, not much to say tbh… my dad made burgers for dinner but like idk they were very weird 😭😭 i didn’t like them. ok and as i’m saying this i’m realizing that might not have been beef patties and they might have been my brother’s venison so that’s fun. i might throw up i love deer wtf 😭😭😭 like this might make me spiral i cant)

(and my day so far is ok i’m in study hall rn so i’m GOOD but my algebra teacher gave us like a crap ton of work so i will not be having a fun day today 😭 but that is a problem for later 🤞🤞)

(you make me so happy i’m always giggling 🤭🤭)

[rescuefield-a]

CHARACTER DEBRIEF

FULL NAME: clarissa jean redfield

NICKANAME(S) : claire ( name she usually goes by ), cj ( by her childhood friends ), sköll ( codename in hws )

FLAWS.

moody | short-tempered | emotionally unstable | whiny | controlling | conceited | possessive | paranoid | liar | impatient | cowardly | bitter | selfish | power-hungry | greedy | lazy | judgmental | forgetful | impulsive | spiteful | stubborn | sadistic | petty | unlucky | absent-minded | abusive | addict | aggressive | childish | callous | clingy | delusional | cocky | competitive | corrupt | cynical | cruel | depressed | deranged | egotistical | envious | insecure | insensitive | lustful | delinquent | guilt complex | reclusive | reckless | nervous | oversensitive

STRENGTHS.

honest | trustworthy | thoughtful | caring | brave | patient | selfless | ambitious | tolerant | lucky | intelligent | confident | focused | humble | generous | merciful | observant | wise | clever | charming | cheerful | optimistic | decisive | adaptive | calm | protective | proud | diligent | considerate | compassionate | good sportsmanship | friendly | empathetic | passionate | reliable | resourceful | sensible | sincere | witty | funny

SKILLS & HOBBIES.

art  |  acting  |  astronomy  |  animals  |  archery  |  sports  |  belly dancing |  bird watching  |  blacksmithing  |  boating  |  calligraphy  |  camping  |  candle making  |  casino gambling  |  ceramics  |  racing  |  chess  | music ( acoustic guitar )  |  cooking  |  crochet  |  weaving  |  exercise  | swordplay |  fishing  |  gardening  | ghost hunting  |  ice skating  |  magic  | engineering  |  building  |  inventing  |  leather-working  |  martial arts  |  meditation  |  origami  |  parkour  | people watching |  swimming  |  puppetry  |  pyrotechnics  |  quilting  |  reading  |  collecting  |  shopping  |  socializing  |   storytelling  |  writing |  traveling  |  exotic dancing  |  singing | other ( motorbike restorations )

tagged by : @croftborn

tagging : you !! and make sure to tag me so i can read

[youdontknowthisgirl]

Hi

Disclaimer: The characters and events depicted on this blog are fictitious. Any similarity to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Hi, long time user, first time blogger. Finally it's not enough to just observe anymore, i wanna participate.

Stats (5'7, 164cm)

Hw: 120.6 lb

Cw: i don't even know prob 122 or something

Lw: 111.2

Gw: 109.4

Maths major,

21,

from far far away on an exotic location,

in love with anything performing arts related.

MINORS DNI, I'm super religious and i believe that it's a sin for me to be an influence on underage minds so by engaging with this blog you're taking my freedom of religion away. (You can never know if this is a lie so seriously, just stay away)

[pics2200]

https://linktr.ee/nichproductions Lamborghini Reventón: HW Exotics: 2023 Hot Wheels https://www.flickr.com/photos/bpgrossphotography/53793197627/?utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=tumblr https://linktr.ee/nichproductions

[unofficial-funtimefoxy]

YESSSS ANOTHER GLAMHENRY BELIEVER!!!! The art and everything is absolutely AMAZING 😭

Lil theory rant under cut if u wanna read why I believe glamhenry sorry

everyone thinks it's Mike, probably bc of the fire Freddy causes and also bc of how Freddy acts like a father figure to Gregory, while on the other hand this can also be proof it's henry because for one, Henry started the fire, not Michael, and the FNAF 3 guard isn't confirmed 100% to be Mike and even then where do you think Mike got the burning idea from? Henry IS the one with the blueprints and info on remnant, he knew how to destroy it and probably told Mike to go burn Fazbear frights for him (if it wasn't him who had been the nightguard) and then Henry HIMSELF burns FNAF 6. Also, although Mike had his younger brother C.C. who had a similar shirt to Gregory, people forget that Henry was a father too and, in the book, he had a son, Sammy, in the books is similar looking to Gregory as well. Here's just a short summary of the reasons bc I know most people probably won't read this all 😭

1- HENRY caused the fires because HE knew how remnant was destroyed, as shown in the FNAF 6 insanity ending where he shows the s.c.u.p.e.r blueprint which shows that heat can destroy it. The FNAF sb fire ending being a reference to Henry burning the other places

2- Henry was an actual dad, unlike Mike who had only lost his siblings. Also, in the books Henry has two kids, Sammy and Charlie. Sammy, as much of him is shown in one image, had brown hair and eyes and wore a blue shirt (sound familiar???). Plus, the books have already proved multiple things in the past, like the existence of illusion disk and what they do, a bit more insight on remnant, and even William Afton's name!

3 (minor detail)- Henry is always associated with either FNAF 6 or fredbear, a BEAR animatronic. He is always associated with bears actually, his animatronic was fredbear, he made lefty as a way to capture the puppet, even in the encyclopedia he's seen with a bear animatronic drawn on a blueprint

4 (minor detail)- his clothes are orange and blue in the encyclopedia, as seen in the image above, just like the colors of Glamrock Freddy.

5 (minor detail)- Michael may still be alive, as shown by the footprints in the pizzaplex, no other human is seen bare-foot except for Mike after the FNAF SL minigame where ennard leaves him. There's also the proof that Mike could still be alive because of the blob, the fire didn't work how he intended, it killed Henry but the blob is still working with the puppet, Scrapbaby, and likely molten Freddy in it, and with William still alive in the digital world as Glitchtrap as shown in the FNAF hw 2 canon ending, and now shown with Mike, the only human character without shoes. There's also those "butters" sticky notes and the hidden room, both referencing back to FNAF SL and how Mike got exotic butters. Plus, wouldn't it be more likely for a dude who already went through death to survive a fire rather than an old man???

6 (minor detail)- Freddy and Bonnie being CLOSE friends (or something together) has already been scattered around a bit, compare that to William and Henry, Henry representing fredbear and William representing springbonnie, the old versions of Freddy and Bonnie, both being "old friends" as Henry says during his speech at the end of FNAF 6.

I'm too tired to explain the rest of the information so here's a screenshot I took of a comment a reddit user made under a post asking about this topic of the less popular glamhenry theory possibly being canon, credits to them for that info

Connection Terminated.

[hotwheelings]

[karenlacorte]

Check out this listing I just added to my Poshmark closet: ❤️ Hot Wheels Porsche 911 GT3.

[impossiblyshamelessstrawberry]

Check out this listing I just added to my Poshmark closet: 2023 Hot Wheels '71 Lamborghini Miura SV HW Exotics.

[wafact]

Samsung’s flagship Q990B soundbar bundle is $400 off today

If you aren’t familiar with the more complex or exotic forms of surround sound, then it’s worth checking out our ultimate surround sound guide, but suffice it to say you don’t often see 11.1.4 surround sound on the market, but we love it. Of course, rare things tend to be expensive, and while this deal from Samsung brings the HW-Q990B down to $1,500 from $1,900, it might scare a few folks off at…

[chrisevansluv]

🤭 no other previous partner has ever done things like this to the Fandom 😆😆😆 entertainment like never before // it’s because they know deep down she’s the “perfect match” for him. she is exactly what he’s been saying he wants in a woman to a T. firstly she’s so aggressively his type. brown eyes? check. brown hair? check. big boobs? check. yoga ass? check. spiritual interests? check. presents as well read and sophisticated? check. artsy? check. being non-american and therefore “exotic”? check. then on top of that you add that HE followed her first? all the action has been from HIS side? because you know she’d probably still probably be with lucas bravo right no if he hadn’t followed her on twitter back in 2020. oh baby. they’re fucking scared. they know there’s a real chance he’s going to wife her up and have her be the mother of his kids. then there’s the fact that they were so fucking sure he was gonna receive the backlash of his lifetime for the age gap situation but it backfired so bad because they can’t get on code for five seconds and the general public is suffering from age gap discourse fatigue (they went public at JUST right time i swear) and also he’s a rich white man. that letter and those flyers and how his fandom has now gained a reputation rivalling the spn and k-pop stans? oh i KNOW their egos are hurting. 💀 played themselves with that letter because all the general public that care sympathize with him and her, the age gap is barely mentioned. man is untouchable fr fr. i know megan is smirking every day lmaooo.

Yeah... His fandom really thinks they're relevant and have power, but at the end of the day they're just looking like crazy jealous fans, that are mad their "forever bachelor" HW crush is finally dating someone.

It's pretty clear on the way they talk about her and drag her, but keep it soft on Chris (just calling him out a few times, making fun of his headline), so they can run back to him as soon as there's no Alba in sight.

Alba has done fucked up shit, but so has Chris. The way they're totally ignoring it, to keep the focus on her, is telling