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deadchannelradio · 1 month ago

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my fanfiction abortion morgue is gaining another jayroy victim that is not long enough to clean up for ao3. this was going to be a very long and meandering noodle about in the river that is jason's mental health and trauma and relationships of all types and healing and the asexual/aromantic spectrum (not that that's the verbage jason would use or language hes even aware of) and low sex drives all that beautiful muck and mire but i have not put a single word on it in well over a year now. so i'm letting her go. be free little fish.

They’re better now, anyways, better than they ever were before. Jason had a crisis a few months back, stopping himself from reaching reflexively for his phone to give Dick a call about- nothing important. And then he had realized that he had reflexively gone to call Dick about nothing important, and had gone and stared out the window for 15 minutes, trying to work himself into a different, less horrifying conclusion than the one gathering in his brain like an avalanche. Roy had come home in the middle of it, taken one look at his face and dropped his bag on the floor with a thunk.

“Holy shit,” he said. “Who died?”

“I like him,” Jason said, somewhere between incredulous and horrified. “That cunt, that motherfucker- he made me actually like him-,”

“Who?”

“Dick!” Jason had shouted. “That piece of shit, I want to spend time with him, hours out of my actual human life that I can’t get back-,”

Roy had proceeded to laugh in his face for a solid ten minutes, positively gleeful about Jason’s horrible emotional crisis. “He does that to you, man,” he said once they’d settled in, still chuckling as he cracked open a can of soda, posted up on their couch with Ethiopian takeout in his lap. “One minute you’re sitting there thinking oh my god, this guy, he’s so loud and annoying-,”

“And he never fuckin’ stops moving,” Jason groaned from his spot laying on the floor below him. “His body or his mouth. And he chews loud, he’s obnoxious on purpose, and he’s a model and dated Kory but half the time he dresses like something a goodwill dumpster threw up-,”

“Have you seen his new shoes?” Roy asked. “I dress like dogshit, man, but those things-,”

“Wally got them for him,” Jason said, and then immediately slapped his hands over his face, horrified that he knew that. Roy laughed again. “He’s constantly in your fuckin’ business! Constantly! Last time I saw him he knew the social security numbers of the baristas in the coffee shop I’d been going to-,”

“He gets enabled,” Roy muttered, shoveling injera into his mouth.

“He gets enabled!” Jason said. “Everyone enables him! I enable him! And god, his fucking- puns, man, his quips, we’re all guilty of it but this is a fight, not comedy hour, and even if it was you’d get booed off the stage-,”

“He texted me what he said to Mr. Freeze two weeks ago and I wanted to eat my phone,” Roy said. “It’s amazing no villains kill themselves after he hands their asses to them, I would be humiliated.”

“He sucks!” Jason snapped.

“He sucks,” Roy agreed. “And then you look around one day at your life-,”

“And you go oh shit, I think this motherfucker’s alright!” Jason mimed hitting himself in the face with Roy’s abandoned house slipper. “Fuck! What’s fucking wrong with me?”

Roy laughed at him, again. “Dick Grayson Derangement Syndrome gets us all in the end,” he said. Jason curled a hand around his bare ankle, and Roy looked down to smile at him, the smallest touch making his whole face bloom open like a rose. Jason had to look away from it, wanting to say: stop. No. You know I’m not enough. You know I’m not like you. You know I can’t give you enough.

He’s been wanting to say that a lot, these days. Toss Roy off the sinking ship with a lifeboat before he has to wake up one day, years on, and realize he’s wasted years with Jason, who can’t love that loud.

He wanted to call Dick about it, which was another horrible realization. Hi big bird, I’m having boy problems. Dick would probably tell him that it means more that Jason has to try, that wanting to try for it is selfless, makes it more significant, which is the kind of thinking that lands a motherfucker in bed with Barbara Gordon, who is enough like Jason to warrant a comparison, but not enough to call her and ask what he should do. Babs loves like the Bolton Strid, and sometimes Jason isn’t sure he loves at all. Not like that.

Jason isn’t nearly as selfless as Dick is convinced he is, not deep down. Because he doesn’t want to let Roy go at all.

It’s late, well into the witching hours, and they’re laying in bed in what was formerly Roy’s bedroom but now holds them both, blinds cracked to let the streetlights through. Jason doesn’t like the dark. Roy’s threatening to buy an eyemask. Jason thinks it’s stupid to blind yourself to potential attackers. Neither of them have brought up going back to sleeping separately. Roy’s nose is pressed between Jason’s shoulder blades, breath humid through his shirt. Not asleep yet, but close. Jason’s books are proliferating on Roy’s shelves, his boxers in Roy’s laundry basket, garrotte wires coiled next to bow strings on the desk that has framed photos, past-Jason’s mouth a little white slash in the bar of orange streetlamp.

Something is clawing at the inside of Jason’s chest, scrabbling like a wild little animal. Trying to dig its way through his spine, into Roy. It hurts.

He shifts, turns over, pushes Roy over onto his back and rolls on top of him, propped up on his elbows to look down at him. Roy grunts, half-awake and confused, but takes his weight. He blinks blearily up at Jason, a crease between his eyebrows- Jason must look intense right now. “Jaybird?” he starts, quiet.

Jason knows this feeling- as all-consuming as it is- is fleeting. It’ll be gone in the morning, and he’ll forget it was ever here. He won’t be able to recall its bite until it comes back around again, like Halley’s comet. He should say something now, while he has it. While he feels it. So Roy can know it’s real. He just doesn’t know how to describe it.

“Jase,” Roy says, sounding more concerned, “Jason, what’s-,”

“Something in here,” Jason interrupts, putting a hand on his own chest, a thudding sound of muscle on muscle, “Wants to eat you.” God, he feels dumb. He’s not good at this, he sounds so much better in his head. His words come out of his mouth sour and curdled and stupid, there’s a reason he doesn’t try to talk about this shit-

Roy lights up, slow at first, then all at once, his face creasing up in his smile like old paper, following familiar folds. Jason feels his toes curl next to his calves, his feet pointing and flexing in excitement. Jason wishes he could make himself smile back, anything other than the dead-eyed concentration he knows he’s wearing right now, but the weight in his ribs is too real and too wild for that- if his teeth come out this might get literal. He wants to crack open Roy’s sternum with his bare hands, climb in like a contortionist and slam it shut behind him.

“Really?” Roy asks, small and soft and giddy. Jason nods, serious. Roy’s teeth dig into his bottom lip, smiling so wide his nose is wrinkling up, little inky lines in the artificial twilight. “Cool,” he says.

Jason’s hands spasm in the sheets next to Roy’s head. “Roy,” he starts, “Can I-,” stops. Doesn’t know what he wants. Maybe just to look at him until the sun comes up, just to watch the light turn his freckles from a smear in the dim to pinprick-sized marigolds. Maybe to go to sleep on him like this, the thunder of his heart under Jason’s cheek. Maybe he wants everything. Maybe he wants to be the greediest son of a bitch in Gotham.

“You can do anything,” Roy promises, and the sincerity in his voice makes the thing chewing on Jason’s lungs shake. “Anything you want. I’ll let you do everything.”

Jason drops his head against Roy’s chest with a grunt like he’s just been punched, unable to choke it back. He pushes himself up- Roy makes a quiet, sad noise, grabbing for him- and fumbles the bedside lamp on. He wants to see everything. Roy’s pupils are huge, even in the light he’s flinching from, irises that strange half-color, too dark for blue or green and too flat for hazel and too light to be brown. His cowlick’s sending his hair in every direction at the left temple, and he’s still smiling at Jason, like he can’t help it. Jason doesn’t know what to do, now that he’s here. A restaurant with an infinite menu. What he wants is strange, probably. Not how normal people want things, not what they want. Jason is off-putting, sometimes on purpose, frequently not, and he doesn’t know how this will come across. But Roy said he could have anything. Whatever he wanted. Giving up all of himself, for nothing. For free.

Jason should take it. Roy will stop him, if he needs it. He puts his mouth on the cowlick, not a kiss, tucks his nose into Roy’s hair and breathes in deep. The nothing-smell of hair that’s not clean but not dirty. Roy’s hands are pressing into his lats, his legs spreading and crossing behind Jason’s thighs, holding him there. Jason curls both his hands around Roy’s skull, presses gently, cradling his head- all of Roy is in there, somehow, and he needs to be careful with it. His skull feels too small to hold something so important, too fragile.

Jason drags his thumbs over his eyebrows, presses a thumbnail into the scar bisecting the left one- string snap, Roy told him, nearly took that eye out. Roy’s looking up at him still, and they’re close enough that Jason could count his eyelashes, if he wanted. He runs his fingers over Roy’s ears, feeling the cartilage, gently pinches the flesh of his earlobe, over the hole where he used to have gauges. He moves down to Roy’s neck, puts his hands around his throat, doesn’t squeeze. He feels it when Roy’s breath hitches. Roy shuts his eyes, swallows, his Adam's apple moving under Jason’s palms.

Jason bites him where his neck meets his shoulder, hard. He thinks about being normal, trying to make it a hickey- but Roy jerks hard beneath him with a strangled noise and that thing in Jason’s chest makes him hold that position until Roy stops moving, until the bolt of his jaw aches. He lets go, spit shining around the deep purple indents in Roy’s skin. Roy lets out a shaking breath, eyes still shut.

Roy already knows he’s an inscrutable freak, Jason decides. He’s going to do everything he’s ever looked at Roy and thought about doing, everything he thought might be weird that he’s ever refrained from. Roy won’t run.

If he does, well. Jason will chase him. Roy is the one who said he was locking Jason down, said nobody in or out. He can’t get too mad if Jason takes him up on it.

He presses his nose near Roy’s armpit. The sharp, live smell of his sweat in Jason’s lungs, muted by whatever axe deodorant he uses that always makes Jason think of a cold wet morning. He rubs his mouth over Roy’s deltoid, teeth dragging. Jason pushes up and kneels with his thighs on either side of Roy’s torso, picks up an arm, runs his hands over Roy’s bicep, digs his thumbs into his elbow. Puts Roy’s thumb in his mouth, tastes skin and salt, bites the draw calluses on his fingers, gentle. Does the other arm too, to keep it even. Roy’s breathing slow and even, looking at Jason again as he shoves his mouth into Roy’s wrist until he can feel the pulse against his lower lip. Roy’s trying to caress his face with that hand, can’t quite manage more than a brush of his fingertips against Jason’s ear.

Jason knows what he should say here. What he hasn’t been saying, because he knows it’s not the same as how Roy will say it, thinking that it will somehow be a lie because the meaning’s different. But it’s words, which are only stories. There is nothing in a story that is a lie, and no analysis that is wrong, with supporting evidence. Which Jason has, which Jason has always had. Roy at his right shoulder. Never wanting anyone else at his back. Saying to Dick: if there wasn’t Roy, there wouldn’t be anybody. The way they keep finding each other at the lowest of lows, facedown in bottles or looking down barrels of guns to see if they can spot the bullet. Standing there feeling stupid in the holes they’ve dug, pickaxes in hand, before turning and finding the other, just as deep as they are. Saying: gimme a boost and I’ll give you a hand.

Even if he doesn’t mean it in the same way, he means it. I want you, I want you, I want you. The inflection changes the meaning, but only by the barest degrees.

“I love you,” Jason says, and he’s not lying, because he means them, even if it’s not always how he thinks he should.

#my writing #jayroy #important to note that JASON'S thoughts on his position on the ace/aro spectrum may not be the most woke or whatever. THE AUTHOR (ME) think #that whatever jazzes your music is great and wonderful #Jason's thoughts are very complicated and he is dealing with a deep and wide trauma base and is not aware of the asexual/aromantic labels #this is not a “this is how YOU should feel!” this is a “how would a character w/o access to that type of language or emotional awareness #handle a situation where he has One Person who he does not know how he feels about just that he cannot let this person out of his life #and feels poorly because he thinks he is 'not enough' or 'does not feel enough' compared to that person? and is worried he will hurt them?"#& trusting and respecting someone enough to believe in them that they know the whole you and are making the choice to be in this #relationship with you with their eyes open and are okay with what they are getting and not trying to throw them out to 'protect them'#i at the time was having some real in depth thoughts about this stuff wrt the guy who i am now dating (he knows this)#and his position on these spectrums and my location on these spectrums etc. it kind of a little bit was a love letter to him.#anyways. it was going to be long and in depth and complicated and i just dont have room in my heart for long complicated in depth jayroy #at the moment. alas #i also then had my trans woman jason epiphany/sign from god and this was going to get EVEN MORE COMPLICATED #just not the threads i want to weave with anymore #if you read all these tags WOW

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lunarharp · 11 months ago

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What led to this (orufrey comic, cw an uncomfortable/creepy scene)

#witch hat tag #orufrey #er.... i'm too tired to have anything to say..i worked several days on this.#wait.. didn't i say just recently here that i probably wouldn't ever depict 'what if alaira is qifrey's sort-of ex'. What's going on #i don't even remember deciding to draw this..it's all a blur..i'm not sure why i WOULD decide to draw delicate scenes in my head #that i wouldn't really want to share with anyone/discuss so why did i draw it...#some part of me really really wants to draw things that are more and more true to myself...#maybe because of my alienation with most romance/shipping/dynamics the rest of the world depicts.#orufrey really is perfectly suited to me - what i read in the text and what is in my head. well anyway #i am TIRED of drawing poses and angles and..maybe now i will actually take a break from drawing bc of the tediousness of Angles #btw it really is a 'stretch of time' . . . assuming witches graduate age 18-20 #well orufrey are canonically 30-ish. they've only had agott around for presumably about TWO years (?) bc she took the test age 10 #and it feels like oru moving in/unknown atelier acquisition/building (?) .. i guess that could be a year or so before agott at most #(she was the first disciple) so... ????????? What about the other 7 or so years ?!?!?!!?!?! Unemployed Brimhat Hatred era #that time is very nebulous. after qifrey went to the tower i feel like it's been implied he and oru drifted apart a little.#certainly they didn't live together at first... no way. that doesn't feel like how it is based on things oru has said about becoming Eye #idk. I'm tired now. i don't usually think of alaira as necessarily qifrey's ex and this being how things went in that 'sliver of time'.#i usually prefer the idea that they have their first kiss with each other in their 30s cause That's Just The Orufrey Lifestyle #just felt like making a more relatable alternative view of my own Cai Orufrey Canon one time. btw im a big monoshipper and it hurt a bit #let's leave it there. this is surely the most i've worked on a 'single' art - though now i realise just how much longer the fic took :')

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triglycercule · 2 months ago

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can the mtt commit more crimes that just murder please i know theyre the MURDER time trio but ppppleasse,,,, please,,,,,,

they'd be terrible to be next to on the highway. horror's going 160 mph amd has long past gone over the speed limit. dust's out for BLOOD and by blood i mean your tires. he's somehow sniping those round rubber wheels from the high moving vehicle with the precision of a master fruit ninja player. if your car explodes or flips over in the process that's not his fault. and then to make matters worse for everyone on the highway killer's in the backseat scratching up the doors and windows of your car with a knife everytime horror gets close to another car and oops he accidentally just disfigured your face also did i mention theyre all drunk during this

ok so theyve all got the classic face WHY DONT THEY ABUSE IT!!!! horror gets to do a little paper mache to cover up his head hole and then wearing glasses. killer i dont know what the FUCK he can do to get rid of his perpetual tears but let's just pretend that theyre conveniently gone for now. and then all dust has to do is put down his hood! anyways identity theft is cool. imagine how much they could totally fuck up classic's reputation with this. set up fake tinder profiles and then scam people for their credit card info/free dates (while ordering every expensive thing) and stealing wallets. walking into various grillby's's around the multiverse and telling terrible jokes. like ACTUALLY bad jokes. and then of course just being a huge piece of shit at the bar. god theres so many things they could do pretending to be classic. which one of us is hikaru looking ahh except the only difference between the three is the color of the stains on their clothes (either gray (dust) black (killer) or red. well faded red (horror))

ROBBERY!!!! ROBBERIES PLURAL!!!??? train robbery gas station robbery bank robbery GOVERNMENT robbery (what would you rob the government for?? documents??? idk) anyways. mtt robbing a train except its just a really shitty plan and they dont know jackshit about what theyre doing. killer's taken over the conductor's cabin and now he is booking it. how fast are trains allowed to go idk but the maximum. anyways meanwhile horror's on the tracks fucking up the rails with his strength or whatever (listen i know he's weak but picking and choosing what hcs i believe in is my art) and dust is there to teleport him away before the train crashes into him and turns him into a trolley problem victim. and then of course that shit doesnt fucking work and the train just ends up flipping over and catching on fire or something (killer survives because of course he does he's killer). and then in the end dust just has to flip the entire train over and they just stroll into the part that actually HAS the money

and then they go out and get ice cream. sometimes the murderers need to take a break from murdering and just do NORMAL crime yk???

#dragging this absolutely ancient draft out of the trenches because i've been having a scene in my head that fits this #i mean not REALLY related to this since its not a crime. more like him reckless abandon of life! their own lives! yeah they die #imagining.... trio driving around in the mountains. dust's driving ans horror's in the passenger and killer's in the back seat because he i #and dust just starts speeding up like...... much more than he really should be in the fucking mountains #and killer points it out and now all of a sudden horror is absolutely terrified LMAOOOO trying to get dust to slow down #and then they crash. but if there's no one more determined in the world killer can always load a save and theyre alive again #and dust is STILL speeding when they come back even with the knowledge that they die and horror's still terrified #but dust just tells him to calm down and loosen up a little bit!!! theyll come back afterwards anyways and they dont even die in pain #and after a few more deaths horrors just like. ugh. fine. you know what FINE ILL GO ALONG WITH IT #he says as he starts laughing along with dust because man!! the feeling of looking out at nature right before they die in a blaze of glory #is GREAT!!!! and then you know something something horrordust have trust in killer to bring them back after they all die #something something horror is willing to give up his usual reservations to have fun with the other two #and its so fun afterwards.... because nobody but them gets hurt!!! dust and horror wouldnt wanna hurt anyone after their au lore #and killer has no reason to in this scenario. so it all works out for them!! the only people getting hurt are them and lowkey they deservei #the sans in the au is probably sooo confused as to why the world is reloading even though theres no human doing so 💀 killer you GOOF #theyve probably all died so many times but only they remember it. soooo cute.... only they get to see each other at their weakest 💔💔💔#killer absolutely abuses the save point when theyre all together i just knowww ittttt sooooo well #he wants everything to continue not restart or go back??? ok but everything IS continuous with these two #not like they stay doing one thing over and over anyways so its not really perpetual. anyways dust and horror would get bored along with hi #if they just kept doing the exact same thing over and over trying to find every possible ending. nahhhh #triglycercule this is sooo unhealthy none of them would do this!! ok well they make each other worse who said it was ever gonna be healthy #screw EVERYONE in the violet banquet discord server who indulged me in my trio waltz dancing in a field of flowers at 3 am. brainrot now...#this scene i described in tags totally happened in my trio meet each other fic btw. just that it hasn't gotten to this point at ALL yet 💀💀#tricule rant #killer sans #dust sans #horror sans #murder time trio #sans au #utmv

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deoidesign · 6 months ago

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quick traditional piece for fun ^^

#I dont work traditionally very often because it hurts my hands quite a bit #if it's something that only takes me an hour or so then I can do it #but if we're getting into 2-3+ hour territory...#can't do it :(#theoretically I could pause and come back but when you're mixing colors and stuff that ends up being pretty dang rough #buuuut I'm trying to do more non-computer stuff lately...#so I'll probably do some little things here or there #been sooo tired lately lol sorry #I've been working and dont have much to share unfortunately!#I cant really share MOST of the panels I've been doing #the nature of what I'm writing like... 90% of what I'm drawing right now is legitimately spoilers...#so I can't even share wips!!!#I do have something I'm hoping to get posted soon but I've gotta wait on some other people for it...#anyways #we were legion #zagan #traditional art #art #my art #my ocs #demon #underwater #man why do I tag that other stuff I doubt anyone is going to my blog an searching that

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ihavesomejays · 4 months ago

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i like to think of myself as a comedian sometimes

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vynnyal · 8 months ago

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Turns out Sunlit Trail isn't quite done just yet, so after all that they just send you to a dead end 😂

#rain world #comic #rw chasing wind #sunlit Trail #Hunter #Art #Chasing wind spoilers #I can't imagine anyone filters that tag but just in case sksksks #ANYWAYS turns out mod is way better than I expected and it's super well made.#So far made the trip as hunter (first time) then riv and now working on arti.#For arti I realized that howling rifts led to sub and sub led to dar shore so I was like sweet! A shortcut!#Now imagine for a sec trying to get through a parkcore + miros bird gauntlet with a corpse and a worm within 5 cycles #before the scav ran out of karma and you were stuck inside forever. Yeah #Besides that tho I've been messing around and been very tenderly modding the game.#Turns out you can have a bit of fun with most sprites without too much effort by simply cloning the MSC mod in your files #Then changing the copy's mod info so it doesn't clash and simply swapping images out for whatever you want #As long as you have the sprite name you can do this. You can also change region names and decals and music all sorts of stuff.#In short I've been brewing a custom mod for a friend to make her suffer as much as possible <3 #Thanks to a buddy on the rw server for showing me that trick btw lol. The best cesspool I've ever participated in #Oh before I forget- the symbol on CW's head is completely made up. They just looked so... Bald.#Tbh I wasn't expecting their personality to be so... bright? Most interpretations make them kinda solemn and gloomy #But nah this CW is what NSH should've been 100%. I like them. Not gonna spoil too much but their situation is somehow so... chill.#Still bad tho!#Other fun news! There's a scammer going around on discord that's basically like ''bad news I reported you for fraud''#And they're getting a lot of people. My buddy that owned my home server got hit and we lost everything. It's all OK tho nobody was hurt #I keep trying to ask them questions on my alts but they're ignoring me... I kinda wanna bait them into doing the scam with me #to see how far I get before they catch on 😜#Wasting a scammer's time is never a waste of time #Ah I had more to say but I reached my tag max. Till next time- hopefully my animation project will be done by then!

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cheaploafs · 1 month ago

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the calm before the storm

#art tag #dragon age the veilguard #dragon age veilguard #ivy laidir #rook laidir #lucanis dellamorte #rookanis #ivy uses they/them <3 #can you guys pretend spites wings are there for me …. i got overwhelmed <3 im sorry #we got fade cracked skin though!!! thats what matters most #spotify play never let me go by florence + the machine thank you #ive been so normal about this … i wrote an entire one shot for it you may not see the countless conversations of trust security and #vaulnerability that lead to this moment . im normal about them . very normal #like they’re both afraid but its about the trust!!! the trust the other wont let them fall or hurt them!!! you get me!!!!!!!#anyway can you tell im sane . the most sane ive been about a da protagonist since my hawke im sensing a pattern #this happens like directly before act 3 in my mind . like the moment they got back to the lighthouse ivy had to go meet morrigan #love how the water unfluffed ivys hair .. they are wolfing (unironically)#i feel it shouldve been a bit longer but i think their hair is just naturally fluffed out ..

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simcardiac-arrested · 1 year ago

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@bitsbug thank you so much this is the best idea ever

#suns after trying to convince pebbles that life is beautiful and worth living and failing 50484047 times: I should go fuck myself #myart #rain world #five pebbles #seven red suns #i fucking miss suns so much it’s hurting me. my little failboy (gender neutral)#sorry for putting you on blast bits but your tags are simply wonderful

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tennessoui · 5 months ago

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it’s like baby gorl there’s no way I, the author who wrote the fic you’re commenting on and who is the intended audience for this comment, am gonna agree with you 😿🙏 some things can just stay on your chest 🙏

#there’s a threshold I think of what I accept in comments about characters #and their actions or about who is in the wrong or what should happen #because I do like reading people’s opinions #and sometimes when someone is like I didn’t like obi-wan in this fic #I’m like makes sense! maybe you weren’t supposed to or maybe the argument they had was supposed to not be clear cut on who is right #because arguments in real life don’t always have a clear cut winner or morally superior person lmao #I’m ok with that I’m ok with comments saying boo this character is annoying #because sometimes they just are (eg the amount of people who just don’t like obiwan in pbatmb like?? yeah of course he’s not gonna be nice #but I digress lol #anyway but there’s a threshold of when comments about not liking a character go too far and you’re just like.#saying mean things about the writing itself and that’s not something lm gonna allow to be normalized #no matter the intention behind it #you do not type a comment like this knowing it wil be send to an author #who will get an email notification about a comment #click on it and go oooo long comment :D and then go oh.#you don’t do that it’s rude it’s being a jerk #I’ve been here for like 3 almost 4 years I feel ancient in this fandom sometimes #and I’ve gotten so much feedback on my work through that time and so many nice comments and community #but mean comments can really hurt especially new writers #and they can make people who maybe would write fic for a fandom decide to not #like this isn’t even that mean I can almost see the writer just wanting to say how they feel #but sometimes you do not have to 🙏#also I just think this understanding of the characterizations in the fic and probably their understanding of the characters in the films #is a wee bit trash but that’s for me to say in the long tags of my own blog post and not for me to comment on their fics for the fandom #(they don’t have any but I did check because 3am kit felt nosy)

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mattodore · 3 days ago

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now that the edit is done i will not be thinking abt it ever again. here’s a screenshot i took to test new world lighting. theo joy 💓

#river dipping #theodore doe #echthroi #ts4 #ts4 screenshots #the nightmares i had over that edit and the amount of times i cried. well.#i wrote a whole thing for it but only took out the opening for the caption #it was… ugh. ridiculously hard to put to words.#and the edit itself was agony.#and i didn’t even want to post it by the time i got in game to take screenshots.#which is why i wound up redoing the pose over and over only to wind up back at the first pose i made for it #redid the screenshots like four times i think #just. i dragged my feet a lot #it’s.#hm.#well i really hated every step in the process of making the edit and i don’t like the way it’s made me feel #but when i sit with that sick feeling and the acrid taste of it i do feel like i'm finally saying something #like there's something real there.#i've just been feeling that punch in the gut for years and i'm getting it out finally #multiple times while working on the edit i recalled this message an anon sent me about feeling weird over aspects of what they #share about their ocs and i think at the time i said something about how i don't ever feel weird about intimacies shared but.#i am protective over the hurt in the past...#so suffice to say. probably won't be sharing another edit like that one for a long time.#anyway...#i just spent forever in these tags...#like. an hour. i'm going to go read a bit and probably journal some too #society if i could just channel my feelings over my ocs into answering oc asks 🏙️🛸

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marmastry · 2 years ago

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Agent 3s

#That was supposed to be a very short self-indulgent doodle (4-page max) but it ended up being a little bit more lol #It also took a lot of redrawing for me to be satisfied with ahhhhh #that's why the format feels a little informal (bcoz it just started as doodle) so please excuse how rough-looking it is ><#the earlier drafts were a bit spicier #but I had to tone it down if I want to stay consistent with what I've been building on RIP.#anyway this is just me paying a little homage to one of my favorite Ao3 tags: Hurt & comfort #there was only one bed #etc dsfadgfd #moomers #mayamaya #hasahasa #fancomics #splatoonOC #splatoon3 #hasamaya

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hippolotamus · 1 month ago

Note

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aksjdf what an amazing gif choice. some sentences for you, beloved! You get a few extra because foreshadowing *insert evil laugh here*

“How am I supposed to-” Eddie trails off, gesturing to the expanse of ocean around them. Evan’s never been accused of being brilliant, but he’s not seeing the issue. It’s just water. “What do you mean? Why can’t you-” He pauses, distracted when Eddie wiggles his toes. “Ohhhh, right. Legs! No problem.” “‘No problem’, he says.” Eddie chuckles to himself. “And how would that be?” “I’ll take you back! I can swim underneath you until you’re close enough to get to shore yourself. Sound good?” “Better than any plan I had. Let’s go.” After a few minor adjustments, Evan situates himself under Eddie, supporting him. To anyone else it’ll look like Eddie’s alone. At least as long as Evan remembers to purposely slow down. A human swimming at merperson speeds would be more than a little out of place, and Evan doesn’t need that kind of attention. His parents would turn him to shark bait if they had any idea where he is right now. Eddie comes to a stop above him, adjusting so he’s treading water and then waving goodbye. “Wait!” Evan surfaces enough that only Eddie will see him. Hopefully. “I, um, just wanted to say bye. Properly.” “Okay?” Eddie cocks his head to the side, smirking. “Bye, I guess. Will I- probably not but I guess I wondered, since you’re still here, do you think we’ll see each other again?” And that’s when Evan remembers another unbreakable rule of interacting with humans. While any human contact is to be avoided at all costs, there is a necessary step if it does happen. Evan feels himself visibly deflate at the idea of having to do this. It’s not like it’ll hurt him, it’s just- Evan really likes Eddie. And while he doesn't think Eddie would ever say anything, he can't seem to override his instincts on this one. “No, I, um, I don’t think so.” “Oh. Well that kinda sucks.” Eddie’s eyebrows furrow closer together, causing a shallow crease to form. “It was fun anyway.” “Yeah,” Evan agrees. “Yeah, it was. Hey, Eddie?” He reaches to rest his hand on Eddie’s shoulder, his thumb landing in the divot of Eddie’s collarbone. The faint thump, thump, thump of Eddie’s heartbeat pulses beneath his skin as he looks curiously at Evan. “It was nice meeting you, too.” He takes a final look at his human’s face, memorizing as much as he can, then squeezes lightly before disappearing deep below the waves. None the wiser, Eddie turns to swim back toward the shore. “Goodbye, Eddie.”

np tagging the mer!squad @theotherbuckley @daffi-990 @tizniz @spotsandsocks @theplaceyoustillrememberdreaming 😘

#hippo gets mail #make me write #james tag 💍#fic: run to the water (and find me there)#mer!buck x human!eddie #buddie wip #ngl this one hurt me #i feel so bad for buck y'know?#k gonna go mope a bit

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