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eveningserenityyy · 11 months ago

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In sickness and In Health | One Shot

Rating: General.

Pairing: Luke Skywalker x reader

Word Count: 3215k

Summary: Luke thinks the day shall be seemingly peaceful and perfectly content…until he finds you struck with an illness he must help care for.

A/N: I started writing this when I was sick, and whilst i'm better now, I do hope this helps comfort two of my friends who are! <3

Luke woke up early this seemingly delightful morning, eyes both kissed and scorched by the golden rays of the morning sun as it dawned upon his sleepy figure; easing him into a state of consciousness.

His first instinct, just as the day before and just as likely fated to be the same tomorrow, is to turn his attention to you in order for you to be the first thing he sees and may admire when he awakens. That alone is the key to a great day in his opinion, getting to wake up next to you and watch as your chest rises and falls with light breaths, and the way your lips are slightly parted with your messy hair framing your pretty face.

His day cannot start until he can be assured you are next to him, safe and happy in his loving gaze.

You seem so peaceful and content, therefore he did not have the heart to wake you up so selfishly. He leaned over, careful for his movements to be anything but heavy as he pressed a gentle kiss to your cheek; the heat of your flesh warm and inviting against his soft lips.

Naturally, he finds himself to be smiling as he rises from the bed, getting himself dressed and ready to attend to his students.

He hates to leave you just to wake up on your own whenever that time may be, yet alas, he would have to go regardless of his desires. You would be just fine, and close by if anything were to happen.

He whispered a sweet “I love you.” before leaving you to your rest, hoping you don’t wake up too lonely whilst he's gone.

Soon after, the fog of dreams lifted on your end, and reality was born before your eyes as they fluttered open just to squeeze shut again in mere seconds. It wasn’t simply the sunlight of which was a source of woe, but too the dizzying pressure in your head that had struck you immediately.

Something was deeply wrong, wrong enough to be noticed despite the dreadful sleepiness that swarmed you like a warm weighted blanket fresh from the dryer.

You sniffled, noticing how both stuffy and runny your nose felt- there too was a soreness in your throat, gathering the unrelenting need to clear it over and over as fluids coated it on the inside.

“No…not today!” You could not help but whine in such a moment as this, dreading the very idea of being sick so suddenly and without warning.

Okay, that's not entirely true- for over the past two days, you’d noticed your throat felt rather dry, but being sick never crossed your mind. Instead, you simply drowned your throat in water and called it a day. You thought perhaps you had spoken too much, or hadn’t drank enough water, for germs were never a suspect.

Immediately, your body and mind craved comfort and care for this curse of illness casted upon you. You wanted to be cuddled, soothed, and brought copious amounts of soup until you could start feeling better at last, to be cared for as a parent does for a child.

You wanted Luke most of all, reaching out for the empty space next to you where he no longer was; The only remnants of his presence was that of his imprint left in the mattress, the imprint of which had been lovingly filled when you had first gone to rest the night before.

You extended your arm, reaching for his pillow as you brought it close to you like a teddy bear. You nuzzled your face into it, gathering his scent, for the pillow smelt of him; eucalyptus, and the light mist of fresh springwater, paired with a flowery scent that you could not put your finger on but was comforting nevertheless. You did in fact worry that your germs would swarm the fabric, but you could always wash it later- you needed the comfort when in such a state as this, and you dearly hoped he would not mind (Which, in all probability, he wouldn’t).

A sharp pain then built in your throat, mimicking the sharp stabbing of a dozen knives as it caused you to cough about a dozen times. You couldn’t stop as hard as you tried, a tingling feeling in the back of your throat that demanded your coughs of suffrage as compensation. Your throat was beyond irritated, close to nausea after such a fit.

You just about wanted to cry, too tired to deal with this. It wasn’t fair, and so suddenly were you mourning the days when your illness was beyond comprehension, when you could lay back without the mucus wishing to be drained.

Furthermore, from a distance did Luke sense something to be wrong indeed, the very fabric of the force singing to him in silent desperation. He attempted to focus on it, yet the younglings had so many questions for him at this time in their lesson, therefore he waited until the break in between sessions to go and check on just what was the matter.

Once the break commenced, he was quick to return to you, wasting no time as he entered the home you had shared and built together.

As he entered the bedroom, his heart dropped as he saw you curled up under the blankets, your poor figure shivering and holding his pillow to your body as you struggled to keep the coughs at bay.

You appeared so weak and delicate, suffering under the effects of a sneaky illness. He couldn’t stand to see you this way, immediately tending to your side as he crouched next to you, pressing a hand to your forehead before placing his lips there instead, feeling the warmth you radiated so violently.

“Luke?” You mumbled out, voice sounding so rough and weakened. You had barely noticed him enter the room, a telltale sign of your state.

“I’m here, star, im here…” He tried his best to give you a reassuring smile, despite how much it pained him to see you like this. “Sick, huh?”

You nodded with a frown, sniffling to drain your nose as your eyes wet themselves with the buildup of tears. “I don’t…don’t feel good-”

He had the strongest urge to care for you, to do everything in his power to make you feel a little less terrible than you did now. How could he leave you like this? His heart sank at seeing your state of being, and he simply wished to do all he could for you.

He made a choice in regards to the day he had originally planned, one he was perfectly content with. “I’ll be right back, alright? Try and rest. Close your eyes for me, it’ll help.”

You complied, eyes falling heavy as you heard his footsteps disappear into the distance. You wondered what he was doing, although your brain was much too fried to think about anything too deeply.

After a few minutes, he came right back, once again crouched by your side with a cold cloth to be placed on your forehead. You hummed in response, for it felt so nice on your skin. It was the best sensation you had felt all morning, compared to the waging war of your immune system.

You then remembered something, gazing up at him with tired eyes as it occurred to you. “Mmm’ Luke…don’t-” Cough, “-You have-” Cough. “-Class today?”

He smiled warmly, shaking his head as if to reassure you as quickly as possible. “I cancelled, don’t worry. Who else will take care of you but me?”

You were glad, although did not let it show as to not be selfish over his time you had stolen from the padawans. “You didn’t have to do that…”

“Star,” The loving nickname lingered over his tongue, drawing it out as if to question you with a hint of amusement in his tone. “You’re hugging my pillow for comfort- I think you need me.”

You blushed, or at least you think you did if your face isn’t already pink tinted. You and Luke were equally needy when it came to each other, sure, yet that intensified when you were sick- you’d have him glued to your side if you could.

He brought a hand to your forehead, brushing your hair out of your face with the tips of his fingers. “Can I make you some soup, see if that helps you?”

You nodded, weakly so. “Please…I would like that, if you don't mind.”

“The regular, I assume?” He asked for clarification, a gentle smile tugging at his lips. He knew you liked to be cared for whilst also not wanting to be a burden, but to him, you could never be such a thing. Caring for you made him happy, for he could help soothe the one he loved most.

“Mhm.” You hummed in response, thus watching as he got up to make his way over to the kitchen, your eyes struggling to stay open as you found yourself succumbing to the dark fog that was a deserved nap.

It's truly a surprise that you could fall asleep at all when in such a condition, therefore you would take whatever chance you got for some rest.

Luke smiled to himself, knowing you were napping peacefully, and for that he was glad. It was the one moment in which you could have any true peace, not having to experience the effects that's plagued you so terribly.

He loved you so much, and hated seeing you sick more than he naturally should. He loved seeing you smile, or strut about the room with such grace, making his heart burn for you with the sound of your laughter…but seeing you so weak and fragile, so pale and miserable at that, brought him great pain.

He gathered the ingredients at the kitchen counter, setting up the pot and cutting up some vegetables for your soup with a rapid ease.

He thought himself to be a decent cook, with recipes he already knew, at least. He had his aunt to thank for that, having taught him how to cook select recipes when he was growing up.

This soup was always one of his favourites, and now one of yours, of which Beru had taught him how to make. It was a simple recipe, lots of spices- there was only one thing he had adjusted for your liking, and that was grating the carrots in as opposed to chopping them. It was a texture thing for you, mushy carrots not having much of an appeal.

The process of making it wasn’t too long, some time passing before he could bring it to you. He too took some time to allow it to cool down, too giving you more time to rest in the process. As he did this, he kept glancing back into the room you laid within, tinges of worry tainting his mind.

He quietly spoke your name as he nudged you awake, already having placed your soup on the bedside table for you. He made sure to be gentle with his nudges, not wishing to disrupt you poorly.

“Mm?” You hummed, voice raspy as your eyes fluttered open. “Oh…Hi.”

You were so sweet as you looked up at him, feeling awful yet still so happy to see him as you always were. It made his heart flutter with the dancing of butterflies.

He smiled, pressing his curved lips to your forehead again to read your temperature. “Still hot, I see. You should take the blanket off, i don’t want you to overheat or-”

“I’m always hot.” You tried to joke, yet it didn’t much land, for your tone was quite monotone and depressed sounding due to the physical state. “-But yes…”

You caused a slight chuckle to slip past him, and for that you were glad as he thus asked you to kindly sit up in order to eat the soup he had made for you.

You nodded, carefully and rather slowly pulling yourself up to sit with you back leaning against the headboard of your shared bed.

“Good girl,” That smile was still on his face as he praised your efforts, causing you to blush. He didn’t mean it in any way that you may have been thinking, for it was a rather innocent praise.

He took the mug of soup from the nightstand, holding it carefully as he took the spoon, gathering some broth on it as he brought it to your lips. You had no complaints in regards to him helping you like this, so you parted your lips in return and allowed for him to ease the spoon into your mouth.

As you swallowed, it felt comfortingly warm against your throat and dry mouth, the spices dancing on your tongue as the flavours hit you like a harmonious song.

“Thank you…” You spoke after a few more spoonfuls of soup, swallowing the liquid coating in your throat as you did so.

Luke is always so good to you, allowing for you to feel so loved and cared for. You couldn’t feel more appreciative of the man who sat before you.

You reached a hand to him, cupping his cheek as you caressed the pink flesh with your thumb. Your touch was so gentle to him, perfectly delicate and warm due to the heat you radiated.

“Can we cuddle, please?” You pleaded, giving him the cutest pout and puppy eyes.

How could he say no when you asked so nicely, and needed him so much today? He was quite sure that his heart must be melting in his chest.

“Of course. It's hardly a question, you know. ” He smiled so warmly once again with a joy that felt like medicine, placing the mug on the bedside table as you scooched over for him, giving him room to lay with your back to his chest.

You worried that facing him would put him at risk of gathering your germs, therefore spooning was the safest position…yet part of you hated that very fact. Your love language is physical affection; you wanted to kiss him, to place your lips all over his rosy cheeks and soft lips, and you wanted just the same from him in return.

He had his leg draped over your own, his face nuzzled into your hair and neck as his hand found its place upon your chest, feeling your heartbeat thump against him in a calming manner. It was peaceful to know your blood was pumping healthily through your veins, even in a state that may have left you feeling as if death was on its way.

Though, he could indeed sense something was bothering you, a sudden riff like the waves on a calm ocean becoming disturbed. Something was on your mind.

“Star, is something wrong?”

You would feel rather silly having to explain that you’re pouting because you can’t kiss him until you get better, so you brushed it off instead. “Mmm no, just keep holding me, okay?”

He wasn’t buying it, but just nodded, pressing a kiss to your hair as he felt the disturbance once again. He was beginning to catch on, smiling to himself for the fact that you were always so needy for him, craving his affection; he adored it, truth be told. He felt so wanted and loved because of it, but make no mistake, he still wished to comfort the anguish of which he was not so very fond of in comparison.

You felt him pull away from you before slowly and gently nudging you around to face him, leaving you half laying on your back. He placed a hand on your chin, thumb running over your bottom lip as he began to question you. “Starflower, be honest with me; are you upset because you think I can't kiss you?”

You blushed, forgetting how quickly he catches onto things. “Well…but you…you know can’t- i’ll get you sick and i don’t wanna be the reason you get sick…”

“You didn’t answer my question.” His tone was both reassuring to protect you from embarrassment, while also teasing at once.

You sighed, pushing a cough down your throat as you did so. “Yes…I am- don’t laugh at me.”

He shook his head, blushing just as you were. “I'm not laughing, I promise.”

You tried to hide your face in the pillows, escaping his gaze as his grasp drifted to run through your hair soothingly. “I’m not afraid to kiss you just because of a few germs. You only have to ask me.”

“It would be selfish to get you sick, Luke.”

“And it would be selfish for me to deny you when you want me…Star, there is nothing I would hesitate to give you.”

You peered up at him again with the brightest blush, shy to give in. “Don’t blame me when you get sick then.”

His heart thumped in his chest, eyes switching between your lips and your sleepy eyes. “The padawans deserve a break for how hard they have been working, and we get to spend time together. I don’t sense a problem with this.”

He had his right arm resting on the other side of your head as he looked down on you, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. A few quiet moments passed like this, finding comfort in close proximity before you thus spoke quietly, pushing a smile from your lips. “Kiss me, please…”

“Hm? What was that, sweetheart?” He lightly teased, wishing to lighten the mood further, thinking a tad bit of silliness may ease your mind.

“Luke…” You whined, pouting. Although, there was a part of you that would have giggled if not for being sick.

He let out a chuckle, lowering his lips onto your own as they connected, latching onto one another as if they had moulded to fit together as a perfect puzzle piece over the years. The kiss was soft, and left your lips feeling warm and tingly as his kisses always did. Even the curves of your smiles blended together smoothly, considered almost addicting.

You could feel the tug of his smile against your own throughout the entirety of the moment, so blissful even when in the company of countless germs. It was a lovely contrast, truly. That was what you loved most, the fact he could make the dark times seem like a paradise.

Reluctantly did he pull away, yet not far enough for his hot breath still danced against your skin. “See? That wasn’t so bad, star…”

You shook your head, raising your arms up to wrap around his neck. “Just wait until you get sick, maybe you’ll change your mind.”

“It’ll be worth it.”

You couldn’t help but laugh, coughing along the way and yet not phasing him in the least as the germs were likely spread over him. “You’re ridiculous, Skywalker.”

“I’m only in love.”

With another cough, you spoke. “When did you get so cheesy?”

This would be one cue to say something along the lines of “when i fell in love with you”, but fortunately for you, he instead replaces such a phrase with another interlocking of lips instead. Suddenly, being sick wasn’t so bad as it once appeared…

#Luke skywalker x reader #sickfic #one shot #Star Wars fanfiction #luke skywalker #fluff #hurt/comfort #x reader

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pomplalamoose · 1 year ago

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to love from afar

🌛bonus chapter🌜

Master Luke Skywalker x reader

summary: An experimental continuation of chapter 1; explores the possibilities of your Master returning your feelings.

word count: 5,908

(basically a fan fiction for my own fan fiction, however if you'd like this to be the true outcome after the first part, you're welcome to of course <3)

read the first chapter here or on AO3🩵💙

You're sitting cross legged on your bed roll; facing you is a simple pair of black pants, neatly folded and looking very inconspicuous.

Yet you are staring at them like they caused you personal harm, like their burden is physically weighing down upon your shoulders.

Being very well aware you're being dramatic doesn't change the fact you have been procrastinating returning the pants, your Master was generous enough to lend to you, for nearly a week now.

The injuries caused by your embarrassing fall down a hill have healed nicely, only a few faint lines still visible where sharp edges cut deep.

And while you are very thankful for your Master's care and attention following directly after, your dreams now only ever circling around how he held you in his arms and briefly touched your cheek, you haven't dared to initiate any kind of contact since then.

When before you were shy and a little standoffish you are outright avoiding him now whenever you possibly can.

And although your heart aches with want and still you crave his praise, his good will, even a smile, you feel as though you would simply go up in flames should he ever bestow his attention upon you again.

The shame, after coming to the conclusion that he knew about your most intimate feelings, your thoughts and dreams all along, too strong to release into the Force.

And you tried. You really really did try.

It is delaying your training after all, keeping you up at night, sneaking up on you during meditation or dinner, haunting your every waking moment.

It's eating you alive and the constant fear that he too will sense this, should your mental shields crack, has exhausted you.

Breathing in deeply and then slowly out again, you make an effort to view your situation differently.

Master Skywalker is kind and understanding.

What are you so afraid of?

He does not deserve your fear.

All this time, it seems, he was aware of your crush that developed into more the longer you stayed with him and the others, and yet did he ridicule you?

Did he punish you?

Did he send you away? Did he tell you to let go of those feelings, make them out to be unbecoming of a Jedi?

No. Of course not. And, you tell yourself, he never would because that's why, among many other things, you would surrender your very being to him.

Even after your last conversation just outside his rooms, when he offered to work on your mental shields with you, he did not do so as a reprimand, but because he genuinely wanted to help.

And even though you sense his disappointment towards your current antics and failings during his lessons, he remains nothing but patient, allowing you to keep your distance, never overstepping your boundaries, not forcing himself on you.

He does not deserve your fear.

Not when he explicitly told you more than once how he cared and wished only the best for his students.

He must have known about your feelings for a long time.

So why would his stance towards them change now of all things?

With sweaty hands you pick up his pants, your heart beating fast as you press them to your chest and make your way outside to search for him.

When you carefully reach out with the Force to locate your Master's current whereabouts, you find your shields already lowered.

You sigh in defeat. Eventually you will have to ask him about his offer to work with you on that.

The afternoon sun is warming your back and slightly soothing your nerves as you make your way into the near woods where you suspect his presence.

Indeed, you soon are able to find him sitting in a small clearing, seeming to be deep in meditation.

At first you are relieved to have an excuse to leave again but then your stomach sinks; you don't know when you'll be able to gather your courage to try again, if at all.

The longer you avoid this, the worse it will get.

But interrupting now?

Maybe you could just place the pants next to him and then make for a run?

He would know, of course, who put them there.

Possibly he'd seek you out after.

No, you decide, it's better to get this over with and just wait until he has completed his exercises.

Nervously chewing on your bottom lip, lost in thought, you don't realize your Master's eyes lazily tracking your every nervous twitch and movement.

Neither do you see his lips curl upwards into a sly smile, or the momentary gleam in his gaze, uncannily resembling that of a predator ready to strike.

His voice, though, is warm and velvety soft, when he speaks, as if to not scare you away.

"Oh hello, what a lovely surprise. I hope I have not left you waiting for too long?"

Unable to do anything but stare, immediately having fallen under his spell again, you shyly shake your head.

Slowly extending his arm in your direction, he beckons you closer and of course you obey. You would never think of doing otherwise.

"I'm very pleased to see my little way ward sheep return to me. Sit with me, Padawan."

Doing as he asked, you awkwardly lower yourself to the ground some distance away, face burning as the nickname echoes in your head.

Your Master, however, does not seem satisfied.

"No, that will not do, Padawan. Do you wish to throw my pants across the clearing? I thought your manners better than that."

Patting the ground directly in front of his crossed legs, like someone would to lure a puppy, he looks at you expectantly.

In disbelief you can't do much but blink at him, sheepishly shuffling across the grass when he doesn't relent, eventually coming to a stop only a few meters away from him.

He shakes his head, again tapping the ground in front of him with growing insistence.

"M-Master...that's hardly-"

You stop mid sentence, suddenly not so sure if it'd be wise to openly question his wishes after basically ignoring him for a week.

Lowering your head you kneel where he wants you to, fussing about invisible flecks of dust in your lap, studiously doing the most to distract yourself from his broad chest right in front of your face.

With a deep exhale he unfurls his long legs, resting them on either side of you, strategically caging you in.

"Very good. Although it would have been easier to comply right away, don't you think, Padawan?"

Without waiting for an answer, he continues.

"Let's take a moment to practice, yes? I believe you will benefit from this greatly."

Then, abruptly pulling you out of your confusion, his voice suddenly turns commanding.

"Look at me."

Startled your head snaps up immediately and you're rewarded with a smile.

His commanding tone however, does not change.

"Hand me my pants. Good. Now say: thank you dear Master, for lending them to me."

"Th-Thank you, dear Master, for lending them to me."

"You are most welcome, Padawan. Repeat after me: Master, what could I possibly do to repay you?"

Is he teasing you? Blinking up at him you obey nevertheless.

"Master, what could I possibly do to repay you?"

For a long moment he has you pinned with his gaze, then leaning forward, his hair tickling your cheek, he whispers in you ear.

"Mmh aren't you lovely, Padawan. There are indeed a few things you could do for me. And you will, won't you? You are always so well behaved, always eager to please, isn't that right?"

Barely daring to breath you've grown very very still, your mouth hanging open slightly.

You must have fallen asleep earlier without realizing. This has to be one of your silly dreams.

Will he ask you for a kiss now? It would be so easy to oblige too, just a quick turn of your head and you'd be able to touch your lips to the corner of his mouth and then-

"Padawan. I asked you a question."

Oh. Maybe not a dream then?

"Uhhh yes, Master?"

Leaning back, he slightly tilts his head.

"You weren't listening."

It isn't a question.

Your thoughts temporarily strayed very far away and he knows, surely having a very good idea where to as well.

You briefly check your shields. They are down.

Damnit.

Avoiding his gaze you concentrate instead on the smooth skin just above his collar.

"I apologize, Master. It won't happen again."

You notice the way his Adam's apple moves when he huffs a laugh.

"It isn't wise to make promises one can't keep, my Padawan. But I will let you get away with it this time. Now, back to my original question-"

"I remember, Master!", you interrupt excitedly when the fog in your brain momentarily lifts.

"You wanted me to do something for you, did you not? Am I not right?"

"I guess I can let that count, yes.", he answers calmly, clearly amused at your sudden eagerness.

Determined now, to further please him, unbeknownst doing exactly as he foretold, you don't shy away this time, waiting for his directions.

This isn't going as bad as you feared!

Yes you embarrassed yourself many times over a span of what? Ten minutes? But you don't seem to be in trouble and that's all that matters to you.

You're rather stupefied when he gets up, suddenly towering over you.

Still kneeling on the soft grass you have to crane your neck to keep looking at him, not understanding right away he expects you to get up as well.

So when you simply remain at his feet he raises his eyebrows, his expression awfully close to the gentle exasperation you dislike so much.

"What is it, Master?", you ask, rather insecure now.

A sigh.

"When was the last time you had a full nights rest, Padawan?"

Furrowing your brow you try to think.

You find you don't know and neither are you able to comprehend why he's asking.

"M-Master? I don't think I understand, I-"

You break off when he leans down, taking hold of you under your shoulders and hoisting you up.

"I shouldn't be so surprised.", he says under his breath before fully addressing you once more.

"Come along, Padawan."

Humming softly to yourself you follow after him, still unsure of his motivations.

But now that he has mentioned it you realize you are very tired indeed.

Mmh, why did he ask about your sleep again?

You can't say you are able to tell, not when your limps are so heavy all of a sudden, your brain for once nicely quite and fuzzy.

Slowing down your steps to yawn, you decide to take a quick break; right over there that mossy spot looks very comfortable.

Your Master, however, seems to have different plans, swiftly taking your hand in his and pulling you along before you can sit down.

"Please, 'm so tired, Master!", you whine but are quickly soothed when he gently squeezes your hand and tugs you closer.

"Yes, my Padawan, I know. Just a few more steps, okay? See, we already made it out of the woods. And right over there", he points, "is where we want to go."

Reassured you happily follow after him, already too spaced out to worry about clearly being led towards his rooms, when you suddenly recognize your friends voice calling from afar.

"Master Skywalker!"

Sounding quite distressed, they quickly draw nearer.

"Master Skywalker, have you seen-"

Immensely relieved they are abruptly coming to a halt when they see your smaller figure close to his.

"Oh thank the Force you found them! They simply disappeared and we were so worried something had happened!"

In the distance you are able to make out your other classmates.

Are they talking about you? Why are they so worried? How could anything have happened to you while you were with your Master?

You swiftly dismiss your questions when you hear his calm voice responding, your friend evidently relaxing as well.

"Everything is alright now. I will look after them and make sure they get the rest they need. You may let the others know as well."

Absentmindedly nodding along you are simply content to hold your Master's hand.

This is wonderful. You wouldn't mind this moment lasting forever.

"Of course, Master. Is there something, anything, we can do to help?", your friend asks, eyeing you suspiciously as you cling to him, possessively hugging his arm to your chest.

You giggle.

In hindsight you'll wisely acknowledge that sleep deprivation is not a good look on you and so are eternally thankful for your Master's patience, who simply smiles and shakes his head to send your friend on their way again.

"Come on now.", he then says to you.

When you eventually arrive in his living space, he makes you sit on his comfortable cushions again.

"I will be right back, don't leave!", he tells you sternly and you hear him tinkering around in his kitchen.

That's also about the last thing you perceive, because then, quite surprising yourself, you are pulled into a deep and dreamless sleep.

***

When you slowly return to the world of the living, you have no idea where you are.

Neither do you know for how long you were out, nor what day or time it is.

It´s very quiet but somewhere, in the distance, running water is audible.

Spotting a window, you climb out of the unfamiliar bed, you were resting in, to look outside.

It seems to be late in the afternoon, close to dusk and you spot a few fellow students working in a pretty little garden.

One sees you as well, waving cheerily and you relax again, returning the greeting.

Good news: you are not on a foreign planet like you momentarily feared.

That'd be rather stupid too. Force, what is wrong with you.

Surely someone has to be around, making dinner or tidying up after their training, who you can ask how late it is.

However peeking out of the bedroom and then around the orderly near rooms, you happen upon nobody. Strange.

Normally most of the Padawans spent their early evening inside their quarters and yet there is nobody to be seen, not a sound to be heard.

Even the water, you suddenly realize, has fallen silent.

You can't even tell who lives here, a very obvious lack of personal belongings, like a cloak or a light saber, confusing you.

Deciding to quickly check out the missing rooms before heading out, you make your way down a short corridor and throw open a door to the left.

Only to be faced with your very wet, very naked Master.

The shriek leaving your mouth, rivals that of a krayt dragon going in for an attack, only rising in volume when your Master steps towards you, not even remotely bothering to cover up.

Without thinking you slam the door shut in his face, continuing to screech.

The picture of his nude body burning itself in yor brain not even close to calming you down.

"OH MY GODDDD!!! WHAT THE HELL!!!"

In your shock you inadvertently fall back on your home planet's way of speaking, releasing a wild string of curses that your mother definitely would not approve of.

You can't believe that just happened.

This is horrible.

This is way worse than anything that ever happened to you in your life before.

Faintly you can hear laughter before the wooden door opens, revealing you Master. Still gloriously naked.

Screaming yet again, you quickly shield your eyes like you would to block out the sun, the sight of him too much to endure.

"Cover up. PLEASE!!! Jesus Christ."

"Oh gladly.", comes the amused voice of your Master.

"You will have to step aside though, I don't keep my clothes in a bathroom. Do you?"

You feel him placing two warm hands on your shoulders to gently steer you out of the way.

"No! Of course not!", you reply, your voice a tad too loud.

"I'm very glad to see you out and about again. And you seem to be doing much better too.", he says conversationally as you hear his footsteps proceed away from you.

How is he so calm?????

Peaking through your fingers and then fully lowering your hands when you realize he stepped out of sight, you release a breath.

"Master, I'm genuinely sorry for raising my voice at you just now. And also horribly so for catching you off guard.", you blurt out, feeling like you might burst from sheer embarassment alone.

His answer is another laugh.

"Oh really? I´d say you were the one caught off guard, not me. I was very well aware you were coming my way."

You are scandalized, your heart still racing.

"But why didn't you say anything?! You could've locked the door or told me off, Master!"

"And withhold you from learning an important lesson? I don't think I ask too much, my Padawan, by expecting you to sense other people in a building."

"B-but Master! I- That´s not fair! I was still half asleep, I-"

Entering the corridor he fixes you with a stern look you would normally quiver under but right now...

Without meaning to your eyes lower to where a pair of still open pants are hanging from his hips, revealing...quite a lot.

Horrified you immediately tear your gaze away, your cheeks heated and burning.

"M-master, please, this is hardly appropriate."

Only when you hear the rustling of fabric and then a zipper do you dare to look at him again.

To your dismay he chooses not to put on anything else, instead moving around you and leaving you standing there like rooted to the spot.

"No, I will not put on a shirt.", he says over his shoulder, answering your unspoken question.

"This is my home and I quite enjoy relaxing after a day full of work too."

Turning to to look at you, he motions you to follow.

Then

"You seem to have a different opinion after sleeping in my bed for over a day? Care to elaborate?"

That stings but you're too stupefied to answer.

You slept in HIS bed, in his actual bedroom and didn't even realize?

He laid you down IN HIS BED?

Yes exactly, you remind yourself, and as if that alone wasn't enough you thanked him by walking in on him just stepping out of the shower, disrespecting his privacy and getting an eyeful of his big-

"Shields up.", comes the stern command.

"I am far from insecure but some things I'd rather my Padawan not think about too intensively. Even though I´m quite flattered, of course."

You hear the smirk in his voice but the shame you managed to keep at bay since finally getting some rest, comes back with full force; your eyes are burning and you turn away so he does not see your face.

As always you can't hide your feelings from him though and immediately hear steps moving towards you.

But oh, you try.

Pressing the heels of your hands tightly over your eyes like a petulant child, you simply avoid to grant him a look at you, even when you feel him gathering your head between his big palms.

"I apologize, Padawan. I'm an awful tease and I took it too far this time. You have every right to be upset with me. Please don't take this to heart."

His thumbs start to caress your cheeks, wiping away stray tears that somehow made it past your hands.

"I truly am sorry. It was not my intention to make fun of your weakness or the feelings you may have regarding me."

Gently he maneuvers you to sit, and, kneeling before you, he pulls your stubborn arms aside.

At first you try to struggle but then quickly give in, his strength far exceeding yours.

"Yes that's it, good girl.", he murmurs.

"I promise that nothing I said came from malice or was meant as an accusation. In truth I did not know how to approach you about a certain topic and I misspoke. Can you forgive me?"

You nod, and the smile he gifts you for an answer makes your heart skip a beat.

He is so beautiful to look at, it hurts.

"I'm not.", you say sadly and he frowns.

"I'm not a good girl.", you explain.

"I- I try so hard, I really do, but I can't keep my thoughts and feelings separated from my training. And It's ruining everything! I simply can't concentrate anymore. I mess up every single thing I try. I'm a horrible disappointment! A hopeless case. And look what a mess I've made, I-I- how am I suppossed to ever look you in the eyes again?“

Hyperventilating , you have to break off and to your embarrassment start crying in all seriousness now.

This is not the first time that happened, of course, but it's different this time; your face is getting blotchy all over, your eyes are swelling and your body shakes with awful sobs you can't conceal.

"I don't deserve to be here.", you cry.

"Not at all. I will never become a Jedi, not when I'm blindsided by that silly, stupid, ridiculous crush. I'm even a burden to the others. I can't continue like this, I can´t! I should lea-leaveee!"

Your Master's expression, worried and compassionate before, now grows sad.

"Oh my dear Padawan, no. Don't speak ill about yourself that way. Come to me, let me hold you. Yes. Very good."

Pulling your trembling body off the seating cushions and arranging you in his lap, he gently presses you close.

"My sweet sweet girl. Hush now. Everything will be alright. It will all be okay. We will find a solution to this, yes? You are not alone and you are not a burden. To anyone. Do you understand?"

His words only make you cry more and you desperately sling your arms around his shoulders.

"Shh shh shh, I won't let go. I won't. I will hold you until you feel better, okay? You are not alone. It is important to me that you understand this. You don't have to speak, just nod."

Your face buried in the crook of his neck, you nod your head yes.

This you can do.

Anything he asks from you, you will give.

"Good. Very good.", he coos and then you are both quiet for a while; except for your occasional sniffles nothing can be heard.

You don't know for how long you two keep sitting on the floor of his living room.

It is like for one rare moment time has stopped and allowed you to simply exist in his arms.

Eventually the steady stream of your tears slows to a halt and you don't feel as miserable anymore.

Just empty and tired.

"Master?", you ask shyly, not yet daring to remove your head from his shoulder to look at him.

To your relieve, he doesn't insist on it and you can feel his chest rumbling when he hums in acknowledgement.

"You said there was a topic you wished to speak to me about?"

Apprehension sneaks up on you again as soon as you utter your question, your fatigue not hindering your mind at worrying.

After your emotional outbreak and everything said, will it even be relevant anymore? When it is unsure whether you might leave anyways?

"Yes.“, he answers

"I planned to after you found me in the woods but then you fell asleep as soon as I sat you down."

Your body grows tense and he reacts immediately.

"None of that. Don´t be afraid, I will not scold you. I'm simply worried. You have not been sleeping well for quite some time now, have you?"

He is worried? About you?

You bite your lip and shake your head no.

This seems suffice as an answer and your Master continues.

"Mmh I thought as much. As much as it hurts me to say this, I can't have you continuing your lessons like this, Padawan. You are bound to repeat accidents like the one last week and it's my responsibility to see that nothing happens to you. Especially now that you seem unable to do so on your own.“

At this you start sobbing again.

It is one thing to have thought about and suspected this yourself, but an entirely different one to hear your Master, the person you want to make proud above anyone else, coming to the same conclusion.

"I still believe that you are capable of becoming a great Jedi, make no mistake. This is not a race or a competition; you may take as much time as you need.

And that's what I believe you should do. Take time for yourself, Padawan. And, when you are ready, I will be more than happy to take you back on as my student."

You know he means well but your heart breaks all the same.

"Are...are you sending me away, Master?"

He sighs and briefly holds you closer.

"Yes...and no. In truth I am conflicted about it myself. Possibly putting a greater distance between this planet and me would be the wisest direction for you to take.“

He slightly has to speak louder then, to be heard over your helpless whimpers.

"But a very selfish part of mine does want you to leave even less than you do."

Raising your tear stained eyes to his, you look at him confusedly.

"W-what?"

Momentarily turning his head away, you see a muscle work in his jaw as he contemplates what to say next.

"I did not lie when I said I cared for you. I care for your wellbeing as much as for you as a person and I do not want harm to befall you any more than I want that to happen to the others.

However..."

He breaks off, thinks for a second before speaking again.

"In truth t has become increasingly harder to block your...thoughts."

"Oh no, Master, I'm so sorry, I'll make it stop I promise!", you cry.

"I-I didn't know this put a strain on you. I never wanted that, I never, I- I'll leave. I will! You will feel better then!"

You try to get up from his lap to do just that. Even with your mind reeling and body aching you are still set to remove his burden, even if it tears you apart.

Already you are planning what to pack and what to leave behind, your thoughts far away.

He is not letting go of you however, and you find yourself struggling against his grip more and more as sorrowful sobs spill out of you.

"Master, what- let me go. Please. Please don't make this harder than it already is. Don't hurt me so, please."

It's when he grips you around the waist and starts easily shaking your body like a doll, that you come to again, startling at his loud voice.

"LISTEN TO ME!"

Never before has he raised his voice at you or on anyone as far back as you can remember and you still, staring at him with wide eyes.

What did you do wrong? Never have you seen him this upset.

"Listen. To. Me. You misunderstand."

His laboured breath fans across your face, as he's wrangling with himself to calm down.

Then, suddenly leaning forward, he kisses you. Hard.

Caught off guard you let out an involuntary yelp but he doesn't seem to mind, instead jumping at the opportunity to enter your mouth with his tongue.

It's impulsive and heated and slightly disgusting, his lips meeting yours with such fervor, your head starts spinning.

You would have lost your balance would it not have been for how tight he is holding on to you and so you cling right back to him, holding on for dear life.

There are teeth and spit, his hands and his hot mouth all over you; it feels like you are being devoured, eaten alive, wholly and completely consumed by his burning desire, utterly hopeless at the face of it.

When he finally sets you free again, allowing you to suck in desperate gulps of air, you are a moaning, gasping mess.

Light headed and giddy you feel like you're floating.

Desperately wanting to be as close as possible to him, to feel him again, you try reaching his lips with yours but he withdraws, turning his head away abruptly.

"M-Master..."

"No. Don't say anything. Please."

When he looks at you again you notice he is out of breath as well, fixing you with a hungry gaze before reining himself back in.

"Your thoughts trouble me because I have grown fond of you myself. How can I distance myself from them, from you, when you cry out for me so sweetly? It is wrong for me, as your teacher and Master, to act on such urges and I apologize for doing so now.

Yet I do struggle. How am I supposed to look the other way when you are suffering and hurting not only physically but emotionally as well? When I know I could ease your pain with the simplest of actions? When all I would have to do is reach out and take?

Breathing in deeply he wipes his hand over his face.

"I won't let you leave. I can't. Where would you even go, all alone? You need someone to take care of you. You do. But I no longer can be your Master either."

At a loss for words you can only stare up at him, as he gently detangles your limbs from his and then quickly rises, leaving you behind.

Silence falls upon the room once again, but when before it was calm and comforting it is now pressing down on you, like it's stealing the air out of your lungs.

You want to run after him, call out for him, but, too deep in shock, your body simply won't follow your orders.

Outside the sun has long gone, darkness descending all around you.

You should go, you tell yourself, the only thought that rings out in the hollow of your heart.

But where to? Outside or away?

"I won't let you leave", you hear your Master´s words repeated in your head.

Then why did he leave you?

You don't have an answer for any of your questions, too numb and exhausted to care.

Slowly you get to your feet, carefully feeling your way through that dark.

Your hands reaching out, they make contact with what seems to be the entrance and you know you made it, are just about to turn the door knob when all of a sudden there comes a voice.

"Wait."

With a startled squeak you whirl around to be faced with a tall figure standing across from you; of course you didn't sense your Master's approach and your first instinct is to be horribly ashamed.

However that quickly fades, the least of your worries, when seemingly out of nowhere the room lightens up and you are able to see him fully, completely clad in black again, donning his robes like an armor.

Abruptly it feels like the last hours and weeks were nothing but a dream; as he stands there looking at you, he once again is the perfect picture of the strict and compassionate Master.

His suit and boots perfectly in order, his hair in place and his features calm and belying the emotions, he displayed just a few minutes ago, he looks like he did all those years ago when you saw him for the very first time.

That day, unbeknownst to you, but not to him, you fell in love.

And looking at him now you never were so sure you still are, the same feelings, that came to the surface upon your first meeting, clawing their way up with such force that it hurts.

He steps towards you then and you fight the urge to throw yourself at his feet, to apologize to beg, to cry, to worship, to do anything to convince him to let you stay with him. To make him allow you to exist in his presence.

He has too! He said so himself. He wouldn't let you go. He can´t.

"Master...", you breathe into the quiet.

"Not to you anymore.", he says with something akin to regret in his eyes.

"I have made my decision and it is final. You no longer are a student of my academy."

He might as well have punched through your ribcage, brutally ripping out your heart, tearing its strings; it would have hurt less than this.

You simply stare, too shocked to even cry. Your body reacts like under remote control, your brain shutting down.

"...I understand."

Quickly turning away you grab the door handle with desperate fingers.

You need to get out of here as fast as possible.

Not a single second longer will you be able to bear this humiliation.

The door, however, doesn't budge and it takes you a moment to realize it's because a big hand is easily holding it shut above you.

In an act of desperation, you reach for it with unknown bouts of desperation, gripping it tightly to rip it away, to let you free.

The hand surprisingly moves, but only to wrap itself around the back of your neck and turn you around, pressing you flat against the hard wood.

Your Master's stare is unwavering, sending chills down your spine, nearly scaring you in its intensity.

He lowers his head to speak into your ear, his voice husky.

"No. I don't think you do."

Stepping away and pulling you along, the grip he has around your neck leaves you no other choice but to comply as he finally opens the door, leading you outside.

As your chest quickly rises and falls with your attempts to gather enough of the cool night air, his demeanor gentles, his hand wandering up to stroke your cheek

"It has grown late. Go back to your room, lay down to rest. I expect to see you again tomorrow."

You bristle and shake off his touch.

"I- I don't understand. What- I'm not a student here anymore, I'm not your Padawan. You said you made your decision. That distance between us would be what is best."

He looks at you and at first doesn't respond, as if waiting for you to catch on.

You don't know what you are supposed to catch on to.

"I also said", he begins slowly

"that it is in no way appropriate for a Master to act on his Padawans's feelings."

You blink in disbelief, something that feels a lot like anger arising in your chest.

"Yes. Why do you have to rub that in? I understand. I UNDERSTAND you don't want me and you never will! You-"

With an exasperate sigh he tilts his head.

"Are you my Padawan?", he asks.

Too indignant to care about your manners, you wave your finger in his face.

"Well noooo, I'm not! How can you be so unbearable CRUEL, making me repeat it again and again and- oh."

Oh.

Leaning down he cradles your face in between his hands, leaving a lingering kiss on the crown of your head.

"Go to bed, sweet girl. I'll be here in the morning."

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