#humans are space velociraptors

[narswriting]

theres like. 20 or so "human gets adopted by aliens/lost in space/humans are space orcs/earth is space Australia" trope fics for sleepy bois inc. i dont even go to that fandom and ive read most of them by now. but theres very few of them for hermitcraft. and im starving

and im this close to writing my own

the arizona dads are like. *right there.* gem would be so feral/resourceful. throw in some pearl and mumbo and all of the rest of the hermits/lifers??? oh my goodness. chefs kiss. the potential. do you see my vision??

[ghostyclay]

My favorite trope will always be "X finds [insert incredibily dangerous species/thing/person/etc.] but has no idea it's dangerous. Everyone else is terrified and confused bc how is X still alive???"

[shepgarrus]

@otemporanerys @misseffect

Do you have a human Garrus design to go with your Thane??? He(Thane) looks so good, I absolutely love how you destined him!

Also, if your Shepard wasn’t human, which race would she be?

Here’s a cleaned up version of my human Garrus design anon! And if my shep wasn’t human I think she’d very much be a Turian but I haven’t doodled her just yet!

[tubbytarchia]

Etho doodles in which I let my inner dinosaur nerd take over 😔 and also have no idea how to shade

Get it cause he's old and washed up haha... ok but actual raptor Etho hybrid justification below cut

To be honest the main reason was because I really wanted a hybrid in the mix who wasn't some furry creature and a reptile or amphibian or smth instead. Etho still ended up feathered but whatever it's close enough! But for ACTUAL reasoning:

He does feel damn ancient, like an old deity of the mcyt space that no one can dislike. Dinosaurs are the same!! They're old but still thought of with great fascination and fondness, everyone loves dinosaurs...

Dinosaurs are ever so mysterious, as many advancements as we make there's still so much we don't know. Just as we know jackshit about mister Kakashi skin man. Also, there are so many incomplete skeletons out there. I didn't have a particular species in mind for Etho, because where's the mystery in that? He can be one of those 5% skeleton 95% speculation dinosaurs like this guy!! Missing jaw and all

"I'm a runner, not a protector" - so, a raptor, or more specifically the Dromaeosauridae family, which literally has "running/runner" in its name

But! I'm always a fan of stuff going against its nature, especially in this case! Etho states he's not a runner yet protects his allies rather fiercely even in total silence. Eg refusing to kill Cleo in SL or to give away Tango's location during the LimL manhunt, same for Grian in SL. He was a bit flaky in 3L I think? And he only started to have genuine care for allies in LL with Bdubs? Though he is still very much a runner in many cases like during the LL Wither fight. Research also strongly suggests that most if not all raptors were solitary hunters, and the way I see Etho (through my shamefully limited watchtime of his POVs...) he feels a lot like someone who ultimately only trusts himself at the start even if he's pleasant and allying with others, and doesn't seem to think he can carry his weight in groups though he doesn't voice this a lot. That's just how Etho is, very composed, but it feels like there's an insecurity there, showcased especially in SL but again I haven't seen almost any of his POVs in full so maybe I'm talking out of my ass!! Sorry ethogirls I'm only a sidegig ethogirl myself... But yeah tldr to me he gives off the vibe of an otherwise solitary animal struggling to find 100% sure footing in a pack. In whichever ways he does go against his nature, its not usually made a show of

At the mention of a raptor, a lot of people will probably think of the glamourized Jurassic Park Velociraptors. But those awesome guys from the movies are actually the size of chickens. In general though, dinosaurs tend to be a bit.. exaggerated in media, despite how inherently fascinating they already are. And I think it fits Etho because we all know how the Lifers seem to fear and mancrush on him when he's just some dork with perfect capability to become pathetic at a moment's notice. Still, he's a clearly skilled player and still respected without question Etho's not some killer machine like some people make dinosaurs out to be. He's just a fellow creature fulfilling his role in the ecosystem 👍

dinosaurs are cool

The hook-like sickle claws on the feet... something something fishing rod

I swear I'm not turning all my Lifers into hybrids I'm not!! Still plenty normal humans in the mix I swear....... But Etho is such a radical dude, I really wanted to do something more for him. The whole Kitsune thing that I often see associated with him is really cool. I don't actually know the reasoning for it but I assume something something naruto, but also, him being this ancient mythical cryptid who people know so little about, you know? It makes SO much sense. So anyway I turned him into a dinosaur instead rawr

As a herbivore advocate I also considered stuff like the triceratops (known for how they protect themselves and their own) but nah the raptor symbolism...

[marlynnofmany]

Rainy Day Eggs

The last delivery our ship made was to a dry planet with too much wind. I’d say it was nice to be somewhere with moisture in the air again, but this was a lot of rain. And while I can appreciate the scent of petrichor and the sound of raindrops on the roof as much as the next Earthling, our current setup was a smidge inconvenient.

Paint asked, “Are you sure we don’t want to use the cargo bay instead?” She peeked past my elbow through the personnel door. “I feel like a wet floor there is less of a slipping hazard.”

“Maybe, but the awning doesn’t fit,” I told her, pointing up at the portable thing that came with this spaceport’s landing pad. It was made for single-person entrances, a hovering pink rectangle tethered to the ground with some kind of localized tractor beam. It stuck to the ship nicely, and hadn’t let so much as a drop sneak past to drip down my shirt, but it wouldn’t have fit over the cargo bay entrance.

“I thought we were going to use one of the bigger landing pads,” Paint said, surprise on her lizardy face as she looked out at the spaceport. “I know our ship is on the small side, but this spot looks tiny!”

“It is,” I said. “That douchnozzle over there sniped our spot.” I pointed at the sporty red single-person cruiser that was currently hogging a courier space. I’d heard Wio swear from the cockpit when she had to adjust our approach because the jerk zipped in front of us. I’d seen the nice big awning crumple down to fit his jerkmobile. After we’d landed in a spot almost too small for us, I’d seen him stroll away with fancy clothes and a force field umbrella, and he hadn’t come back yet.

He was a human, too. Not that I was bitter about any of that.

Paint huffed. “How rude! Well at least we have the comfort of knowing that the kind of person to do that is likely to make their own life harder every day.”

“You’re right on that count,” I agreed. “I can just imagine how much his food gets spit in when he eats at restaurants.”

This concept was a new one as far as Paint was concerned, and we spent the next few minutes before our client arrived talking about unsanitary food sabotage. (She wasn’t a fan. Can’t say I blame her.)

The birdlike cargo of the day was making quiet cooing noises from its cage as the client approached: a slender Frillian who’d come prepared with a bubble-shielded hover cart. I greeted him and handled the electronic payment while Paint gave the cargo one last look over. The coos turned to anxious warbles.

I wanted to call them chickens, and I’m still not convinced that I’m far off, but while their speckled feathers reminded me of the Aracaunas I’d had as a kid, these guys had scaly jaws instead of beaks. Feathery little velociraptors, all puffed up into anxious feather-orbs and looking ready to bite.

I was grateful for both the cage and the awning.

“Here you go,” I said, passing over the cage with extreme care. It barely fit through the door. Luckily the dino-chickens were light, even when they flapped and hissed. The client got them onto the cart with practiced ease. I tried not to show how relieved I was. That cage going sideways to smash open on the rainy ground would have been disastrous.

“Oh wait!” Paint said from behind me. “What about the eggs?”

“Right, I forgot about those,” I said, turning to grab the bowl she held out, which I’d set in the hallway next to the cage. Three speckled eggs rolled merrily as I held it out to the client. “Do you want these? They laid them on the way here, though they don’t seem interested in caring for them.”

He was busy strapping the cage down. “No thanks! They’re not fertilized. Just toss ‘em in your bio-recycler or whatever. Have a great day!” A fresh wave of rain pounded down between us.

“All right, thank you!” I waved goodbye and stepped back inside the ship, closing the hatch. With the rain shut out, the silence felt loud.

“I’ll mop up the water,” Paint volunteered. She pointed at where a spray of raindrops had managed to blow in on the wind. “Watch your step.”

“Thanks.” I held the bowl of rolling eggs in one hand, and the payment tablet in the other. I stepped carefully.

“And make sure you sanitize that bowl!”

“Oh, I will,” I said. “But before I just throw these away, I think it’s time for a rousing game of ‘who thinks these are food?’”

Paint regarded me with a mix of skepticism and disgust. “Really?”

I grinned at her. “Don’t worry, I’ll have Eggskin scan them first.”

“You do that!”

Still grinning, I put away the tablet and did that. Eggskin was in the medical bay, which was next to the kitchen, which was convenient, because Eggskin was in charge of both. They were the most knowledgeable cook/medic I’d ever met.

They didn’t make any fun expressions when I handed over the bowl, not so much as lifting a scaly browridge. They just set to scanning and analyzing like the professional lizardy alien they were.

(I still haven’t told them that the color of their scales reminds me of boogers, and I don’t ever plan to.)

The machine dinged. Eggskin tapped a few buttons, cross-referencing something on the intelligent species database.

“You can’t eat these,” they declared.

“What? Why not?” I was honestly shocked. Humanity’s omnivorous nature had made me used to being the one who could eat everybody’s food.

“There is a significant level of a toxin that would cause vomiting and worse,” Eggskin informed me. “Looks like your people call it tremetol.”

That made a memory ding. “Wait, like the kind from white snakeroot? The kind cows eat, and gives people milk sickness?”

“I wouldn’t know,” Eggskin said drily. “In my personal opinion, all milk is likely to cause sickness, but you’re welcome to your mammal tendencies. Just don’t eat these.”

“Aw, man,” I said. “Is it poisonous to everybody?”

“Let me check.” Eggskin brought up another species. “Looks like Mesmers aren’t affected.”

A voice from the doorway asked, “By what?” and I realized the quiet clicking noises had been Zhee’s feet. His big bug eyes peered in with some very nosy curiosity for someone without a nose.

I said, “By a toxin in the eggs that our animal cargo laid.”

Zhee tilted his head. “Good to know that something I don’t plan to touch will not harm me.”

Eggskin said, “The conversation was about eating them.”

“Ew.” He tilted his head at a more extreme angle and raised his pincher arms as if in defense. “Why?”

I sighed. “Apparently they’re poisonous to some of us.”

“Oh no,” Zhee deadpanned. “What a loss.”

Eggskin asked, “Want me to dispose of them?”

“I guess so,” I said. “Looks like all they’re good for is egging houses. Or spaceships.” I paused to think. “I wonder if they’d do the same kind of damage to the exterior that they do to car paint. It’d get washed away by the rain today anyway.”

“Spaceships like a certain red piece of excrement?” Zhee angled his long body sideways to let someone pass. “The captain would likely deem that unwise.”

I opened my mouth to answer, but Captain Sunlight beat me to it.

“Unwise is one word for it,” she said as she stepped into view and paused instead of passing. Her scaly yellow face wore a scowl. “But that’s the same egghole who nearly sideswiped Kamm’s ship last week; I just checked. Now, we’re about to take off, but if the door happens to open and close before we do, I will be conveniently looking the other way.” She made eye contact, then strolled off toward the cockpit.

Zhee and Eggskin looked at me. I looked at them. Then I grabbed the bowl of eggs and legged it toward the hatch.

As the crewmember with the best throwing arm, and the same species as the egghole in question, it was only fitting that I deliver the karma.

~~~

These are the ongoing backstory adventures of the main character from this book.

Shared early on Patreon! There’s even a free tier to get them on the same day as the rest of the world.

The sequel novel is in progress (and will include characters from these stories. I hadn’t thought all of them up when I wrote the first book, but they’re too much fun to leave out of the second).

[conkreetmonkey]

Splatoon 3 is wild because imagine if you were living in Japan due to a recent economic and cultural boom, and suddenly a space shuttle with a mutant house-sized T-rex riding it suddenly burst from the center of Mt. Fuji and disappeared into space without explanation, and all you ever find out about what the fuck that was about is that Zuckerburg mysteriously disappeared the same day and was never seen again, but still "officially" ran Meta through an open secret Queen-Elizabeth-being-in-good-health gaslighting campaign, and everybody kind of suspected he may have been connected but never figured out anything conclusive.

Also the T-rex is now orbiting the earth in the fetal position like the guy from Jojo, and there are rumors of a substance that, if touched, turns you into a half-dinosaur monster. Nobody understands any of this but Meta employees just keep going to work and pretending Zuck still exists. The same 12 prerecorded voicelines constantly squak from the PA system.

Oddly, the statue in front of Meta HQ of a T-rex eating a human changes overnight into one of a giant human eating a tiny T-rex. Nobody noticed the switch, despite the statue being in a constantly bustling area. It happened shortly after the shuttle incident.

Jack Black's tiny clone, Lil' Jack, now wears a headset at all times and has been acting really shady since the incident. Also they're both hyperintelligent, immortal velociraptors found in an ancient cryogenic chamber who spend their days judging college football and eating the legally harvested flesh of hillbillies. Lil' Jack is probably plotting to kill Big Jack, but Big Jack doesn't seem to care, growing fat and lazy, sleeping on public benches in a bed of throw pillows. Also, he's very open about the fact that, as a velociraptor, humans look delicious, but he hasn't actually eaten anybody aside from the aforementioned hillbillies because he's civil.

Everyone is just expected to move on with their lives after this. This is normal to you.

The local art school was recently attacked by giant sea serpents, which were actually hideously bioengineered hillbillies, fulfilling a biblical doomsday prophecy, and they were driven back by Meta's army of minimum wage, part time child soldiers armed with warcrimey jury-rigged weaponry. The sea serpents had giant frying pans grafted into their mouths, which launched primitive tactical nukes made by filling garbage bags with their explosive phlegm. They still exist, and occasionally defend their comrades, but spend most of their time in the deep sea.

The local homeless emo twink everyone's attracted to is a closet millionaire who sells bootleg clothing in exchange for live rats, which he messily devours behind closed doors. He's also 8 feet tall and British and only has one eye.

North Korean refugees now flood the western world, after a greasy 14 year old hipster, under the guidance of Ariana Grande and Taylor Swift, beat Kim Jong Un in a mech battle, and the EDM remix of the Japanese national anthem they performed caused like half the soldiers to immediately realize North Korea sucks ass and defect. One of these individuals, 7 foot tall hypergenius, becomes a newscaster alongside a nepo baby rapper with dwarfism who likes to eat entire jars of mayo, and also they're a popular band. Also also, they may or may not be gay. Almost the entire population is gay, so this isn't a huge deal.

The new local newscasters are a famous Japanese lion tamer, an Indian girl with a bloodline trait allowing her to control snakes, and a Brazillian man the size of a smart car who exclusively communicates via grunts.

Gods, souls and zombies are objectively real, and you're effectively immortal because real-life respawning was invented a while ago. It works like a Keurig, but with mucus instead of coffee. Submersion in water kills you.

A good deal of the population is a hivemind. They pretend to be individuals for no reason.

Almost all men are now femboys.

Despite all this, you still have to go to work at 9 tomorrow.

[knifedog-machina]

Being Human: A Species Identity Compare and Contrast

Written by Gavin Reed-Machina on June 27, 2024.

Hey, I'm Gavin, and despite hanging out in various alterhuman spaces, I'm 100% a human person. I live in a system with two headmates who are also human, but identify as other species as well - Max as a velociraptor therian, Jude as a dog archetrope and an android. In contrast, I specifically, completely identify as human.

What's so special about that, being human? Statistically, it's nothing remarkable - most people on Earth identify as human after all. I think what's really interesting is that, over the past year, I've been connected to communities that all contain people (or non-people, as the case may be) who partially or fully identify as nonhuman - otherkin, therians, a solid number of fictionfolk and some alterhumans. Therefore, I feel like I can compare and contrast my species identity to the experiences of others, in a way that most people who philosophize on what humanity is don't get the chance to.

We tend to think of humanity as The Default, a non-identity, since the majority of self-identified nonhumans were raised as human, and we all live in human societies. Most people don't bother clarifying that they are human unless they're dehumanized, because it seems obvious that being born human means you're human. Given humanity's position as a default state, a lot of nonhumans see it as an opposing and fundamentally different experience from nonhumanity.

In this way, species identity is similar to gender identity - cisgender people, who identify with the genders they were assigned at birth, are often assumed by transgender people to have a fundamentally different understanding of gender. I feel like both of these assumptions are oversimplifications, ones that miss out on a lot of nuance, and throughout this essay I will be comparing gender and species, as a trans man whose species is as important to him as his gender.

There are some common threads I've noticed when it comes to having a sense of identity. I wouldn't call them universal experiences, I can't read minds, but they're frequent enough to be significant. They may be more obvious when it's an identity at odds with your body (e.g. being transgender or nonhuman) - but I'd go so far as to say that plenty of cisgender (and human!) people also experience these feelings, and simply don't have the words or desire to describe their feelings with these terms.

First off, identity euphoria - the internal sense of alignment, joy, and contentedness one gets from presenting and being perceived as their identity. A trans man might experience gender euphoria from presenting and being treated as a man, and so do many cis men. Think about how thrilled many guys are when their beards fill out; that's facial hair as a presentation of masculinity, and gaining it is a gender euphoric experience. In a very similar way, a nonhuman experiences species euphoria from being perceived as their species - and so do I, as a human being.

I’m trans, so I know how gender euphoria feels for me. I find that the more I'm just treated as a man, the more that the bright elation of being correctly gendered turns into a sense of quiet satisfaction - this is what I am, and everyone knows it, and all is right with the world. There's no reason to think too much about it unless something calls attention to it, and then I feel confident and comfortable enough in myself that other people's judgements are more annoying than hurtful. I exist peacefully in my body, happy with the way people see me in it, and sometimes I'll do something that feels extra masculine and grin about it for five minutes.

My species euphoria falls into the same sort of category - I feel content with my body, the way it matches how I feel internally, and the way other people treat me because of it. I feel fundamentally comfortable with my human body map and movements, having a flat face and hands and nails, walking upright on the soles of my feet. I feel comfortable when I'm acknowledged as a human and a person, when I do something that’s known to be human - when I wear different clothes to express myself and keep out the cold, when I cook a meal to eat with people, when I sing for the fun of it, when I write and draw to share something creative, when I interact with human technology and invention and creation. Humans have been making clothes and foods and songs and adding marks to the world for about as long as they've existed, and we're still doing it, and if I think about it too long I get emotional. I’m human and I feel deeply connected to humanity, and most of the time I don't think about it because I'm treated as one, but sometimes I’ll notice that I'm doing something that just feels fundamentally human, and it's really nice - sometimes species affirmation can be in the little things, like wearing a beat-up jacket or writing a personal essay.

On the flip side, there's identity dysphoria, the distress experienced when one's identity doesn't align with the way they present or find themselves perceived as. A trans woman might feel gender dysphoria because of her body hair; many cis women also feel less feminine if they don't shave. Species dysphoria is a well-known experience in the nonhuman community, the distress of being seen as human or having a human body when you don't identify as one. Given what I said earlier, hopefully it doesn't come as a shock that people can have the opposite experience - feeling distressed about being seen as nonhuman. I get this kind of species dysphoria.

It feels odd to talk about species dysphoria when I’m not nonhuman, but I still feel it. Mostly it comes up in the context of being in alterhuman spaces, being accidentally mislabeled as nonhuman through proximity to those who are, and I've also felt it in the context of playing around with visualizing myself as nonhuman in art. My body map doesn't have nonhuman features, parts like wings or tails or claws or pointy ears. Picturing myself like that feels wrong, it feels like sandpaper, like there’s this foreign thing attached to my body and I need to cut it off so I can stop this crawling sense of my body not being my own. I used to have an awful amount of gender dysphoria, and I feel like the two are very comparable experiences - the distress of feeling like your body doesn't match your mind. I got top surgery, so the gender dysphoria is gone, and thankfully my body is actually human, because I would be just as distressed about being seen as nonhuman as I was about being seen as a girl.

It’s kind of fascinating that I feel this way, that I can’t picture myself as nonhuman without feeling incredibly uncomfortable. On the other end of the spectrum, there's the entire furry fandom, a subculture of people - most of whom definitely identify as human beings - who regularly depict themselves as nonhuman animals for fun and self-expression. We’re all human, what gives? Do they have a more malleable sense of species identity than I do?

Maybe, maybe not. I don't have a straightforward answer to that - like I said, I can't read minds, and I'm just one person. But I do have a couple thoughts on the way humans interface with nonhumanity, on the topic of enjoying it.

See, I get dysphoric about being considered nonhuman, but I've found some loopholes in there. I’m completely fine with my fictional counterpart - the character getting tossed into different AUs for our personal enrichment - being turned into a vampire, a werewolf, a selkie, an android, a person with wings. How's that any different from other expressions of nonhumanity? Well, for me, those stories don't induce dysphoria because they're about humanity, at the end of the day - how people cope with being seen as or turned into monsters, the way they treat one another and the way they treat supposed outsiders, the ways society might change if humans were slightly different animals but still called themselves human. If I were a werewolf, I'd still be human, just one living with the consequences of also being a wolf. If I had wings in a world where all humans have wings, I'm still human in the context of that world. That baseline sense of humanity is what’s important to me.

In a similar vein, I can't stand seriously being seen as nonhuman - but pretending to be nonhuman? Roleplaying? Dressing up in a costume? I can do that. I feel like there’s something very human about being fascinated by the abilities and strengths of every animal that's not your own kind, and wanting them for yourself - the human desire to fly like a bird, swim like a fish, hunt like a wolf, run like a deer.

I think a lot of what people like about fursonas is this sort of wish fulfillment, of having the cool traits of all these fascinating animals, and having that animal self-portrait still being anthro - human - enough to relate to. It's animality through an anthropomorphic lens, through how fun it can be to play pretend and express yourself as a cool deer-wolf-lion hybrid. And usually, those animal choices are symbolic, and the fursona reflects the personality of the person who made it - more often than not, it reflects the cultural stereotypes of what that animal is, instead of being true to what the animal is like as a living organism. It's about the way humans see themselves in animals, not necessarily the way we are animals. So, ironically, being a furry tends to parse as a very human thing to me.

So far, most of this essay has been a comparison, since I see a lot of similarities between identifying as human and identifying as nonhuman. Putting my species into my list of self-identifiers, like how I'd list my name and pronouns, has cemented it as a crucial part of how I view myself and want to be seen. That's the same way a lot of nonhumans think about their species. I have a strong sense of species identity, it just so happens to align with being human. Contrasting the categories seems harder to me.

I could list a bunch of different nonhuman traits that I lack, but it would be on the same level as saying one kintype is different from another. I don't care about walking on all fours, and neither does Max as a raptor. I don't instinctively try to bite a threat, I’d rather kick it, and I know a horse would agree with me. I don't long for the sky and neither does Jude, they're a dog. I don't have a prey drive and neither does a hamster. I don't feel like a nonsapient animal, and neither does an elf.

When it comes down to just being a certain species, there’s not that much of a difference between identifying as a human and identifying as a dragon. There's a bunch of traits that feel correct, and a million others that don't feel right at all.

I could say that I don't understand feeling like I don't fit in my own body, but I do - I had gender dysphoria. I have species dysphoria. If one of my partners is having a phantom shift while co-fronting with me, I invariably end up either leaving front or nullifying their shifts, because I just don't feel comfortable if our combined body map is nonhuman. I don't have memories of being a different species than I am, having abilities that I don't have in my body now, but those aren’t necessary to be nonhuman in the first place.

Do I need to find a contrast that makes sense? Does there need to be some fundamental difference between human and nonhuman identity?

I don't think so. It's all identity, at the end of the day.

[kedreeva]

Hi! I just saw your video of polaris and i don't know how i never realized just how LONG their tails can get. Is there any significant difference in being (or owning) a peacock because of the tail size? Do they need more space or different roosting setups? Obvs they're big birds anyway but damn that tail is like 2x the length of his body.

Polaris is actually just a 3yo, so his train (which isn't actually his tail! He has a real tail under the train) isn't as long as it will get by the time he's 6 (fully mature).

A fully mature peacock needs a flight pen which has no side shorter than 12 feet, because his train display is around 10 feet wide. They also need it to be 8 feet tall, as the train will stand roughly 5 feet tall while they display, and they need at least 1 perch that's 5-6 feet off the ground in order to preen it, which means 2-3 feet clearance above that to get up and down. Their roost should also be 5+ feet off the ground. Because of their weight, they also need 3-5 feet of horizontal space per vertical foot of space, to get down without slipping a tendon (a death sentence) or jamming their feet (leading to bumblefoot). This is why you'll often see long, thin enclosures at breeding farms (12x50' is a nice size, I've seen 15x50 as well). Inside a coop, if you cannot give them that much space to get down, they will gladly use a ramp to walk down from the roost (and often walk up it to roost too, they're quite lazy birds).

Their MINIMUM flight pen space (not including coop space) is 500 square feet. Their maximum housing density is 1 bird per 150 square feet, which raises the minimum total space needed if there are more than 3 birds. It's usually advised that if you CAN give them more space than that, you SHOULD, because they will use every inch of it and it will be a more enjoyable experience for you and for them. While they need space for their trains, they also get stressed if you force interaction or if they feel they cannot get far enough away from you. However, if you give them the space to get away from you, they will be up your butt any time you're doing something in their space, including sitting minding your own business. They're very curious.

They are definitely a bird that prospective owners should plan for well in advance. On top of their considerably larger housing needs they have a lot of other needs that differ greatly from chickens, largely in dietary needs but also in social and behavioral needs. One of the biggest misunderstandings that lands both humans and peacocks in hot water is that people think the males will be like chickens or ducks or even turkeys, where hand raising and cuddling a male will make them friendly. It is the extreme opposite. Coddling a male peachick will result in 15-20 years of constantly being hunted by a flying velociraptor with knives attached to his ankles. In the peafowl community it is known as berserker male syndrome and it's a constant uphill battle to educate new owners to cut that shit out.

So yeah. Fantastic birds, love them with my whole heart. Do not impulse buy them.

[dabantam]

World Building: Stone Age Fantasy

So a while back, I created an entire fantasy setting called “Kalandero”. I also saw a video from the YouTube channel, Cleric Corner, discussing ideas for how to incorporate stone punk (a genre that features a prehistoric setting with a mix of cavemen, dinosaurs, and a variety of stone and pulley based analogs for modern technology, like the Flintstones) into dnd campaigns. This actually sparked a thought in my head about a Stone Age fantasy setting (“Stone Fantasy” for short), which lead to this post on my tumblr page: 

You know something, we’ve had high fantasy, space fantasy, urban fantasy, and all that kind of crap. What about “stone fantasy”, a fantasy setting set in the Stone Age? Elves riding on the backs of pterodactyls, weresabertooths, dwarves who are master stone smiths, that kind of stuff. 

(This was before I found out about the existence of the DND 5E supplement, Planegea, so… live and learn I guess.) 

Anyway, this one thought sparked a whole sea of ideas for other fantasy settings, though for now, we’ll start off with the Stone Fantasy setting, a setting we’ll call The Vast Land. The Vast Land is a large island surrounded by an equally enormous sea (as far as the inhabitants of the island are concerned, this island is all there is in the world). The island is made up of mostly jungles and grasslands, with a long chain of mountains running through it like a scar (creating areas of snow and frost), with a volcano sprouting from the center of the island. Throughout the Vast Land, dinosaurs and prehistoric mammals coexist alongside the various races, hadrosaurs, ankylosaurus, and field striders (gallimimus) grazing alongside woolly mammoths and wooly rhinos in the grasslands, packs of sabertooth tigers and raptors fighting for territory along the mountain sides, pterodactyls and archaeopteryxes flitting through jungles only to be snatched by plesiosaurs passing through jungle rivers. Alongside these usual animals, the inhabitants must also face more harrowing threats, from poisonous plants, tar pits, and creatures of a more supernatural nature. 

Species 

Humans: Interestingly enough, this setting has the potential for the most variety of humans compared to most fantasy settings (seeing as prehistoric times were the closest Earth ever came to seeing multiple sapient creatures before they either homogenized into modern humans or were wiped out by our ancestors). Among these are the Lean Men (cro-magnon, which I thought were the direct ancestors of Homo Sapiens, but it turns out that they’re just the earliest examples of true Homo Sapiens, humanity beta if you will), who are the closest things to normal humans in a fantasy setting but caveman, Broad Backs (neanderthals) who are more brutish and muscular than other humans but are generally affable (like a friendlier version of fantasy orcs), and Pygmies (Flores Men) who are much shorter, more aggressive, living mostly in jungles, and capable of being incredibly stealthy (obviously, there were more species of ancient humans than this, but I’m just narrowing these down for simplicity sake). These different groups live in tribes all over the Vast Land, though they tend to stay away from coastal regions (such places are considered taboo), and have a fairly steady alliance with each other (though that doesn’t mean there isn’t distrust between them). 

Sickle Feet: A major staple in most prehistoric settings (or dinosaur settings in general) are packs of velociraptors that rip people apart with swarm tactics. Now imagine that… but as a race. Creating intricate villages in the jungles, the sickle feet are a particularly aggressive race, being the main reason why the Pygmies are as aggressive as they are. Armed with both claws, teeth, and spears, as well as having tamed a variety of dangerous dinosaurs to act as guard beasts, they often go on raiding parties, attacking other villages with extreme ferocity. They aren’t mindless beasts, however, as they can be negotiated with, especially when there are greater threats at play such as a tyrant beast. There are also legends that the sickle feet once had a vast empire that dominated across the land, though if it existed, there’s no trace of it now.

Wilder Men: The elves of the setting, the wilder men are found throughout the Vast Land. Being people of nature, they don’t really have settlements or even villages, preferring to live in trees or caves (harkening back to elves being presented as one with nature). Willowy and covered in fine brown fur, they also fit the role of ape men seen in most Stone Age settings (especially in pulp fiction novels). They possess a deep knowledge of the various plants and animals of the Vast Land, and are skilled at creating various medicines and potions, as well as having a deeper connection with the Spirits of the Vast Land, being among the few beings who’s shamans don’t go mad from prolonged exposure to them. 

Sky Hunters: The harpies of the Vast Land, Sky Hunters are actually one of the more terrifying inhabitants. Half man and half pterodactyl, they’re masters of aerial combat, holding a distinct advantage over other species. Building their villages in mountainous regions, they also tame a variety of pterosaurs to aid them in hunting and combat. This also includes the quetzalcoatlus (or as its known in the Vast Land, “the Soaring Terror”), which is a special kind of nightmare fuel in its own right (imagine having to deal with a giraffe-sized flying carnivore that can also gallop after you when it’s on the ground… and then, while in the sky, a small squadron of flying creatures jumps off its back and starts attacking you with goddamn spears). Unsurprisingly, any village that manages to form an alliance with the Sky Hunters is given a wide berth by raiders. 

Touched Wolves: Wolves are a common sight in the Vast Land, from regular wolves (which are commonly tamed as hunting companions by humans) to dire wolves (which are treated as frightening monsters). However, if there’s one variety of wolf that the inhabitants of the Vast Land need to be concerned about, it’s the touched wolves. Having been granted intelligence by the Spirits of the Vast Land, they have all the strength of regular wolves and the intelligence of Stone Age humans. While they tend to be noble yet primal creatures, they also have a tendency to mob travelers, passing themselves off as regular wolves to get in close, only to reveal their true nature, revealing the hands they have in place of front paws as they grasp onto their prey and tear into them with claws and fangs. 

Carved Ones: Finally, we have the Carved Ones, a race of creatures formed from carved hunks of wood and stone (basically, they’re Stone Age golems). No one is really sure where exactly they came from, though there are legends that the first carved ones were created by an ancient group of shamans to act as slaves for them, until they rebelled against their masters. Forming their own tribes, they are seen as an eerie and unsettling group by the other locals, as they neither sleep nor eat, raiding other villages for tools and weapons, and using what they’ve gathered to craft new Carved Ones. However, they can be won over with offers of tools and wood. 

Monsters 

Fur Beasts: Lurking in the undergrowth of the jungles and the tall grass of the plains, the fur beasts are the goblins of the Vast Land. So named for being shrouded in thick coats of fur that conceal their true figures save for a scrawny pair of arms and legs, they often scurry up towards unaware travelers and attack in packs. Anything they find on their victims, from food and tools, they take to a communal nest, mostly using the tools to reinforce the nest, having no real understanding of weapons and tools beyond “I can use rock to smash other things or chuck them at other things”. Indeed, these nests often become surprisingly large and intricate, suggesting that there might be some higher thought inside those hairy heads of theirs. 

Walking Bush: When walking through the jungle, there’s always the risk of running into a walking bush. A variety of carnivorous plant, they have the ability to walk around on root-like legs, moving about to different locations in search of better hunting grounds. Whenever they find a suitable spot, they’ll crouch down to disguise themselves as regular bushes, after which, they’ll wait for prey to come close enough for them to whip out a stalk topped with a flytrap-like mouth to snatch it up. They also possess a powerful toxin that can be harvested to create poisoned arrows.

Pelt Walkers: It is an unspoken rule in the Vast Land that shamans and other magic users should be treated with caution, as they tend to be given to madness (for reasons I’ll get to soon enough). The most dangerous of these are the ones referred to as Pelt Walkers. Skilled with a knife, they are capable of expertly skinning freshly killed animals and converting the pelts into cloaks. With these cloaks, they’re capable of transforming into animals, gaining all of their abilities and strength (paired with their own intelligence), as well as becoming an animal hybrid. While most simply use their powers to steal prey from hunters, more malicious pelt walkers will use their abilities to spy on opponents, gathering information to use to their advantage. 

Plains Whispers: When walking out on the plains on calm, starless nights, there’s a chance of encountering a plains whisper. Resembling floating orbs of light that occasionally manifest eyes or mouths, they often float just outside of the vision of travelers, often whispering, chattering, and giggling just for their own amusement. Whenever large numbers of plains whispers are seen floating about, that’s usually a sign that a dreaming folk is nearby. 

River Brutes: The typical brutish monster of the setting, river brutes are a major threat to anyone traversing the waterways of the Vast Land. Large primordial amphibians, they often lurk just beneath the surface, waiting for prey to approach the water’s edge before bursting out from beneath, grabbing them in their stubby hands, and shoving them down their throats whole. However, river brutes prefer to target lone travelers, as the inside of their wide mouths are actually their weak spots, especially vulnerable to arrows and projectiles, making it easy for a fellow traveler to free their captured companion. 

Dreaming Folk: Strange beings with an unusual air about them, the dreaming folk are the fair folk of the setting. Partially inspired by the mimih spirits of Aboriginal folklore, they’re a surprisingly intimidating sight, easily towering over most beings with their tall, lanky, unnervingly thin bodies and bright orange eyes and teal skin. Originating from a realm known as “The Dreaming”, the dreaming folk often appear in the Vast Land, usually visiting for their own amusement. However, unlike most depictions of the fair folk, the dreaming folk are actually quite friendly, joining in on hunting parties they stumble upon and even refusing to take any piece of the prey when it finally falls (apparently more interested in the thrill of the hunt than the prize itself). 

Tyrant Beasts: An interesting thing about the Vast Land is that while dinosaurs do exist here, many of the larger predatory dinosaurs are long extinct, with only smaller predators like raptors and piscivores like baryonyx still kicking around. There is one exception though, and that is the tyrant beasts, the dragons of this setting. Originally just normal tyrannosaurs, they have since been transformed by magic into terrifying monsters, becoming the terror of all races. Much more monstrous than their past forms, they sport several rows of long spines running down their backs, multiple pairs of eyes running along the sides of their snouts, and the ability to unleash different breath weapons (some can breathe fire, others can breathe freezing air, and some can breathe poisonous clouds). Even the comically tiny arms t-rexes are famous for have long since vanished, having been replaced by a long, prehensile tongue tipped with a grasping appendage to grab and manipulate things, making for a terrifying image for anyone unfortunate enough to be caught by the tyrant beast and slowly dragged into its fangs filled maw. They’re also disturbingly intelligent, as well as being far stealthier than anything that size should be, often setting up elaborate ambushes to capture prey. While tyrant beasts are universally feared, many people of different species will team up to take one down when it attacks, sometimes even tracking down fire breathing beasts to steal some fire to take back to their villages. 

Magic and the Spirits of Land, Sky, Sea, and Death 

Magic in the Vast Land is a bit unusual to say the least. Unlike most settings, magic isn’t fully understood by the inhabitants, if anything, it’s something that’s both feared and respected. You see, in the Vast Land, magic originates from groups of spirits, each one representing an aspect of life for the people of the setting: land, sky, sea, and death. Overall, these spirits serve as elementals, fair folk, and gods of the setting, both worshipped and feared by the people of the Vast Land. Those who spend extended periods of time near places where these spirits frequent (like shamans) will learn their secrets and gain a bit of their powers… at the cost of their sanity. While they’re treated with a bit of apprehension, many understand that the spirits and their shamans are a bit of a necessity, especially during lean times. These spirits include: 

Spirits of Land: Spirits that resemble a variety of spectral animals from mammoths to triceratopses. They have control over the land and the growth of plants, making them the spirits that most people will encounter.

Spirits of Sky: Spirits that resemble spectral pterosaurs. They have control over the sky and the weather. 

Spirits of Sea: Spirits that resemble spectral prehistoric sea creatures from ammonites to plesiosaurs (and in some cases, even weirder creatures like anomalocaris). Having control over the sea, these spirits are seen as the most mysterious of their kind, as very few people live near the sea (considering it a no man’s land home to unknowable monsters). 

Spirits of Death: Spirits that resemble a spiraling cloud of bones, they have power over death and disease, as well as the grim reapers of the setting. Ironically, these spirits are the ones that people fully understand, knowing that they only come when it’s time for them to come and only take with them what they came for.

Undead 

Tar Things: Like many prehistoric settings, tar pits are a big danger in the Vast Land. While the risk of slowly drowning in tar is a major concern with tar pits, there’s another danger that lurks in these sticky black pools: tar things. Born from the souls of those that drowned in the tar pits, these undead creatures rise from their gooey graves and cobble together bodies from globs of tar and tar stained bones, ranging from humanoid and animalistic forms to shambling mounds of bones and tar. Lurching across the plains, tar things will hunt down prey with a dogged persistence, stripping their catches down to the bone, adding the remains to their mass.

Mad Spirits: The restless spirits of shamans, mad spirits are the worst possible fate of magic users. Those who completely devote themselves to the spirits (to the point of separating themselves from their own humanity) will end up transforming into mad spirits when they die. Completely divorced from their old lives, they will wander the world, terrorizing and harassing anyone they come across with an assortment of terrible powers. However, they can be reasoned with if the right rituals are performed, either appeasing them or, in some cases, being elevated to the status of a true spirit. 

[loli-momo1908]

"NH: Crotalus reference sheet"

 a reference sheet of 2 of 3 Predatron Generals from my first anime concept I'm planning to make a tv series out of one day: Nature Healers.

Name: Crotalus Age: 37 Species: Blue Speckled Rattlesnake hybrid Personality: Sadistic, cold-hearted, self-centered, arrogant, aggressive, conniving, simply evil Likes: Seeing humans suffer, fighting, desert lands, insulting the Nature Healers by pointing out their flaws, winning, live mice to eat, terrorizing the citizens for fun and chaos Dislikes: Gyps's tomfoolery, anyone who gets into his space or step into his part of his territory, losing to the Nature Healers, being called a failure, getting his aggressive anger flaws pointed out Theme color: Blue, slate blue, white, black, and dark gray as sub colors Weapons: Sabaku monsters Bio: Crotulas is one of the 3 Generals of the Predatrons who stands by Ustura's side with Gyps to serve their dark master is to exact his vengeance against Mother Nature for banishing them by taking over Earth as their global territory. When Crotalus first appeared after the time Ricky became the second Nature Healer member to join along with Reina (let's say in episode 3), he started terrorizing the kids' hometown with his Sabaku monster he had summoned while hunting for Tilii to prevent her from finding anymore chosen ones to become Nature Healers, Reina and Ricky transformed to stop him, However, due to Crotalus's slippery speed of a snake, he manages to gave the kids the upper hand until Rumaldo stepped in to save Reina and Ricky after he unintentionally witnessed their transformation into magical warriors. Thanks to Ramuldo's fiery courage and willpower to fight alongside his friends and save the town, a third Rainbow Gaia Quartz awakened and allowed him to transform into Healer Red Hawk, the third Nature Healer chosen one. After his Sabaku being defeated by Ramuldo, this angers Crotalus with his tail rattled before vowing that he'll one day get those chosen warriors before retreating to report to his two comrades.

Fun Fact: Everytime Crotalus gets angry, his tail rattles like how aggressive rattlesnakes would do. And for him to slither fast, Crotalus has the ability to change his legs into a lower body/tail of a snake as he can use such speed to avoid incoming attacks and coil around his enemies in his constrictive grasp. And with his two legs, he can run as fast as a velociraptor. 

Nature Healers, Crotalus (c) me

*DO NOT STEAL MY ARTWORK OR MY CHARACTER*

[void-botanist]

Sharran AU: The Gods Part 1

In this AU (which I will probably come up with a better name for later, but I'm really excited to share it) I'm reconstructing the gods and the storyline of Baldur's Gate 3. I think the gods of the Sword Coast should be weirder, and the storyline should really make use of that. This first post is for the most important gods in this AU, which also happen to be the most important ones in BG3, for the most part.

This post contains vague spoilers for Baldur's Gate 3 below the cut.

Shar: the goddess of shadow, loss, darkness, night (and sleep), forgetting, shades, and opportunity. (Why opportunity? When one potential path is lost, another opens. To gain, you must sometimes lose. Without that loss, how can you find your way?) Unlike her twin sister Selûne, she is frequently seen in human form, which is why her temples are full of statues of her. She is often considered a petulant, petty goddess, which is true. But she is not particularly cruel or evil, no more than her sister. Despite her misgivings at the beginning of the world, she's come around to the idea of having living beings about, and isn't interested in getting rid of them anymore. Instead, she provides them aid that Selûne could never give them, such as taking away their painful memories of loss, which she then integrates into herself. People often turn to Shar when Selûne's so-called "healing" fails to address their emotional and spiritual ills. All Sharrans have had some memory removed—they get to choose which ones. They also all have scar-like markings on their bodies that represent their commitment to forgetting, and what kind of thing they forgot.

Selûne: the goddess of the moon, the sun, the stars (and navigation), heat, light, lycanthropes, and commitment. (Why commitment? In the real D&D lore, one of her past domains was marriage. But drawing from this classic post about the moon and Earth, I think it makes more sense to have her be the goddess of steadfast commitments of all kinds. The only exception is commitments to other gods, because she will not interfere with those processes.) Though she is sometimes represented in human form in art, her natural forms are strange to most mortals, and she has found that they'd rather not see her real human form. Eyes alone are enough, hence the way she is represented on her crest. Many consider her a peaceful, stable goddess, and her personality trends that way, but her power can equally be used for harm: heat and light can be extremely dangerous, the sun can damage mortals irreparably, and there are many bad commitments to be made in life. Selûnite clergy and Selûne's favored have golden cracks on their bodies, but all of her faithful develop cracks here and there.

Ievaal: known as Bhaal in D&D lore, Ievaal is the god/dess of murder, the hunt, and ritual killing. She has three forms: the Slayer, a humanlike form that wears the raw flesh of its enemies as clothing; the Hunter, a velociraptor-like form that always catches its prey; and the Priest, a gnarled form that vaguely resembles a human but is unknowable under its cloak. His believers, who double as clergy when needed, typically follow one of his three forms, and he has two Chosen: one to bring together the clergy, and one that is best at killing and his favorite. Ievaal considers their gender to be shapeshifter, which is to say all genders, and none of them. It is most often called a deity, but god/dess is also acceptable. Those who follow her are granted the ability to shapeshift, though many can only master one or two forms.

Myrkul: the deity of souls, bones, and the liminal space between life and death. They are not the deity of death as a concept—that's Kelemvor's domain—but of death as a process, of something that happens to most beings eventually and requires the collection of their souls. Their most common form is a lavishly decorated assortment of bones of all kinds formed into a loose humanlike shape. Most claim that the bones change every time they take this form, and they neither confirm nor deny it. They are more withdrawn from the affairs of mortals than Bane and Ievaal, but counts them among their staunchest allies. They are not worshipped so much as remembered.

Bane: the god of power and tyranny. He generally appears as a figure of shadow with two ruby and black crystal gauntlets. Because of this, much to Shar's chagrin, he is sometimes called the Lord of Darkness. He has no fully corporeal form and is known to possess mortals to do his bidding, granting them magical armor crafted of his own shadowy essence. His primary goal in life is to cause trouble and sow discord to put himself at the top, something his right hand Ievaal is only too pleased to assist with. His rigidly structured clergy can be recognized by the red teardrop shapes on the backs of their hands.

Mystra: the goddess of magic. She acts as a conduit between the Weave, the substance of magic that permeates the universe, and spellcasters, partly to prevent them from casting magic that is too dangerous and partly to prevent them from being overwhelmed by the Weave. Her normal form looks like a human-size doll, held together at the joints with shifting threads of magic that weave together—the Weave itself. She boasts a wide variety of clergy and adherents, who are gifted slightly increased access to the Weave that tends to make their eyelashes or fingernails turn Weave-like.

Riodda: known as Oghma in D&D lore, Riodda is the deity of learning, ideas, knowledge, and bees. Her main form blurs the line between human and insect—she has the fluffy clawed arms of a bumblebee, but ten of them, as well as a set of compound eyes set next to her human ones and two long antennae. Bees of all kinds, but especially bumblebees, are considered her messengers that report new information back to her in her study. She, too, is always busy learning something new or playing music. Her faithful typically have six dots on one or both ears, representing both the six feet of a bee and the necessity of listening.

Lathander: the god of the dawn and beginnings. He typically appears as a human, though the details of that human have changed through the ages. The one thing they all have in common is that they are very tall and have a laugh that can be heard for miles. He frequently does not bother to mark his faithful because they do that themselves, adorning themselves with gold jewelry and tattoos in his image.

Jergal: the god of fate and the end of everything. He has always looked impossibly old and lich-like. For the most part, he has no adherents, and is not even considered to be a god by most, not since the ascension of the Dead Three, Ievaal, Bane, and Myrkul. He's still kicking, though, and those he resurrects slowly acquire a set of tally marks along an arm. Enough deaths and resurrections would lead to a full body's worth of tallies.

Aylin: a goddess in her own right, but she focuses on being Selûne's Chosen rather than ruling over a domain and believers. She is the daughter of Selûne and Shar, though she rarely acknowledges Shar's parenthood. She was created in the midst of one of Shar and Selûne's early fights when Selûne used a bit of her own essence to knock out a bit of Shar's essence, and that combined essence formed into Aylin. Aylin chose her first mother as her true mother and deity, though she can't deny she has aspects of Shar as well.

bg3 taglist: @multi-lefaiye @theskeletonprior @kk7-rbs

[thedurvin]

Insomnia the other night left me brainstorming an underdeveloped OC, a Predator-knockoff alien hunter whose failure to kill Arnold Schwarzenegger is punished by her civilization by forcing her into human form to rack up some cool kills by hunting various movie monsters. I specifically want to avoid or subvert “badass alien that hates Earth” tropes:

She loves human food, although since her race is strictly carnivorous she’s having a hard time adapting to eating plants and carbs and drinking water; low-quality processed meats with lots of organs and bone meal are her favorite. She especially loves condiments and will drink them directly from the bottle

She absolutely loves dancing, which she considers a way to show off your grace and agility, important aspects of a warrior/hunter culture, and she is actually a better dancer than hunter. The only problem is her culture’s music also displays similar traits and most closely resembles avant-garde jazz while the dance moves combine the elegance of a tango with the violence of moshing, sort of like a fighting game rhythm game where you have to hit on the beat. She was an aspiring musician at one time and her newfound independence on Earth allows her to practice, but the closest she’s been able to find to her preferred instrument is one of those power drills where the speed (and thus the pitch) goes up the harder you squeeze the trigger, with rhythmic accompaniment from bone claves in the other hand

She has no problem with how humans smell. She can identify and locate people by smell. Her hygiene is fine because she understands the urge to mask one’s scent from predators and enemies, although while on a hunt she does compulsively roll in things to help her blend in.

She is still getting the hang of the human form and tends to use her lips in the same way that Predators use their mandibles, writhing them constantly when she’s agitated. She is frustrated by the fact that she has long hair but it’s limp and can’t be used to grab things. Her race’s natural form is something like a velociraptor (or rather a mimic octopus impersonating one), and when she gets angry or excited she goes into those postures.

She is absolutely terrible at explaining xenobiology and space travel and has no idea what her human sidekicks are talking about when they ask her how it works, and while she does have some cool alien weapons she bought most of it from a catalog and periodically needs to check manuals and Space Reddit to figure out how to use them.

[starlightandetherealshadows]

Fun fact anon here:

Did you know that light, relative to the sheer scale of space, moves pretty slow? The closest solar system to us, good ol Alpha Centauri, is about 4 light years away? So anything that looks on the visible light spectrum like us, looking from there, would be watching us from 2019. Most of the galaxy is even farther away.

Of course, this makes me want to ask. How would the aliens react if they were more a couple hundred light years away, taking a peek at the state of humanity at the time, only to come on over and see the huge amount of progress made?

(My favorite example of this is that we went from first getting a plane in the air to the moon in 66 years.)

Hi sunshine!!!

So so happy to see your message in my inbox! Seriously, your fun facts make my day.

That is..so fckin cool???? I can't fathom how vast the universe is. And then to think about other universes? My head spins. Yet, there's people that think we are the only planet with life? Tuh!

Whew, the aliens would be flabbergasted (and try not to show it).

They would be, you know, aware that time moves differently and they'll be seeing the earth many years in the future. However, knowing and seeing it with your own eyes are two different experiences. I think their first time on Earth is a learning curve. They expect one thing from humans and get another.

When the aliens think they're boutta see a velociraptor and they get tiktokers instead:

I love hearing from you, my friend! I hope you're having a great week!♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

All my love,

Cheye

[cozza-frenzy]

Meet The Alters of the Magical Mystery Box!

Chaos D. Stortion Pronouns: It/Its, Twist/Twists Age: Adult Species: Living Cartoon (Avatar Of The Spiral) Orientation: Panromantic Pansexual, Polyamorous Source: Roleplay Character (Original) Role In System: Gatekeeper (Access To Headspace Areas), Trauma Holder Likes: Anything strawberry-flavored, memes, making people laugh, DJing and performing Dislikes: Hurting people, people getting hurt, silence, being alone Notable Relationships: Nebula (romantic partner, other system), Len (romantic partner, other system), Terry (queerplatonic, in-system), Holiday (queerplatonic, in-system), Velocity (adopted child, in-system), Roses (co-fronter for performances)

Personal Reblog Tag: #Spiral Posting Taffy Brewer Pronouns: He/Him, They/Them, Star/Stars Age: Adult Species: Hybrid Monster (Object Head (Teacup) / Ghost) Orientation: Demiromantic Gay Source: Roleplay Character (Outertale AU) Role In System: Caretaker (Exercise, Cleaning), possible Trauma Holder Likes: Space-themed aesthetic, plants, outdoor exercise, fruits and vegetables,cold weather, Hyi (parallel play/introvert friend), "Roses" (cooking and grocery shopping buddy) Dislikes: Eating meat, people raising their voices, crowds Notable Relationships: Roses (best friend, frequent fronting partner), Hyi (likes to hang out)

Personal Reblog Tag: #Cosmic Latte "Roses Gardens" Pronouns: Any/All Age: Adult Species: (Chooses not to disclose) Orientation: Demiromantic Gay Source: (Chooses not to disclose) Role In System: Caretaker (Medical, Cooking), In-System Medical Care

Likes: Singing, doing announcements for our live listens, comfort food, flowers, cooking, cute dresses Dislikes: Feeling tired, being talked over, talking about their source in great detail Notable Relationships: Taffy (best friend, frequent fronting partner), Rakugaki (pressure therapy), Chaos (co-fronter for performances), Roy (in-system medical team)

Personal Reblog Tag: #Restless Nights Hyi Pronouns: None (or It/Its when more convenient) Age: Adult Species: Extraterrestrial Data-Based Lifeform Orientation: Aromantic Asexual Source: Music production alias from Halley Labs Role In System: Gatekeeper (Access To Front), Knowledge Keeper, In-System Communication Likes: Documentaries, museums, lost media preservation, electronic music, feeling useful, pretty much everyone in-sys, communicating to folks outside the system by relaying messages Dislikes: Anything that destabilizes our system, anything that distracts Hyi from doing Hyi's job, being in active control of the body Notable Relationships: Ari (helps with maintenance), Taffy (likes to hang out), Chaos (helps with DJing)

Personal Reblog Tag: #Data Acquired

Velocity Raptor Pronouns: She/They Age: Minor (Age Slider - ranges 6-15) Species: Anthro Velociraptor Orientation: Lesbian Source: Mascot of AGDQ/SGDQ Role In System: Trauma Holder

Likes: Speedruns, video games, rock music, head pats, chewy stim toys, animated movies, the adults in-system but especially Chaos (big sibling) and Terry (parent) Dislikes: Sour flavors, unfamiliar food, being ignored or excluded, involuntary regression Notable Relationships: Terry (adopted parent, in-system), Chaos (adopted parent, in-system)

Personal Reblog Tag: #Gotta Blog Fast Rakugaki Riot Pronouns: It/Its, They/Them, Paint/Paints Age: Adult Species: Genius Loci (protective spirit of a place) Orientation: Aromantic Asexual Source: Euphoriaverse (Original Work) Role In System: Protective Guardian, Gatekeeper (Remove From/Add To Front), Peacemaker Likes: Sweet Drinks, music, art of any kind Dislikes: Cops, bigots, messy environments, the front getting crowded, disruptions to the system (fights between alters etc.) Notable Relationships: Roses (helps with pressure therapy), Charlie (helps with painting projects)

Personal Reblog Tag: #Slushie Kid Arachne "Ari" Webb Pronouns: She/Her Age: Adult Species: Splicer (Human with Spider DNA) Orientation: Bisexual Source: Brain-Made (no single source) Role In System: Knowledge Keeper, System Maintenance Likes: Horror movies, gothic fashion, science, spiders Dislikes: Being forced to front (not a frequent fronter) Notable Relationships: Hyi (helps maintain system function and manage communication)

Personal Reblog Tag: #Ari's Webb Holiday Battenburg Pronouns: She/Her, Joy/Joys, Cake/Cakes Age: Adult Species: Party Dragon Orientation: Panromantic Asexual, Polyamorous Source: Brain-Made (no single source) Role In System: Mood Booster, Memory Holder Likes: Baked goods, bright colors, giving gifts, celebrations, vacations Dislikes: Loud buzzing noises, sounds of people in distress Notable Relationships: Terry (queerplatonic, in-system), Chaos (queerplatonic, in-system)

Personal Reblog Tag: #All Too Much Vivien DeMontes Pronouns: They/Them Age: Adult Species: Human-ish (Avatar Of The Dark) Orientation: Panromantic Asexual Source: Roleplay Character (Original) Role In System: Trauma Holder, Symptom Holder (Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Eating Disorder) Likes: Animated movies, art, dancing, singing in a duet Dislikes: Loud noises, cold weather, being out in the rain Notable Relationships: Martin (friend and personal caretaker)

Personal Reblog Tag: #Beyond The Shadows Shigeru "Fox" Renard Pronouns: He/Him, They/Them Age: Adult Species: Kitsune Orientation: Bi-romantic Bisexual Source: Brain-Made (No Single Source) Role In System: (Not sure yet) Likes: Imitating others in the system, flirting, puzzles, sculptures Dislikes: Children Notable Relationships: None so far

Personal Reblog Tag: #Intruder Alert Samuel Vimes Pronouns: He/Him Age: Adult Species: Human Orientation: Demiromantic Heterosexual Source: Discworld Role In System: Guardian, Gatekeeper (Forbidding access to dangerous areas in headspace)

Likes: Distressed pudding, bacon sandwiches, the sound of rain Dislikes: Injustice, inequality, others getting themselves in danger Notable Relationships: None so far

Personal Reblog Tag: #The Guarding Dark If you have any questions about us or about being a system, feel free to ask!

Dr. Roy Boss Pronouns: He/Him Age: Adult Species: Living Cartoon Orientation: Queer (still exploring) Source: Work-In-Progress Webcomic (Original Work) Role In System: Caretaker (Cleaning), Symptom Management (Eating Disorder), In-Sys Medical Care

Likes: Explosions, mad science, stories about villains Dislikes: Mentions of medical malpractice and neglect Notable Relationships: Dagwood (Nemesis, the hero to his villain), Roses (in-system medical team)

Personal Reblog Tag: #Boom Baby Boom

[pleb-the-original]

Day 24: Pseudopaleo

(So this one took a while not because of the idea, but because of college finals. Hopefully with the year over I can finally finish this prompt list. Anyways, I know I just did one about demons but I couldn’t resist writing about the demon made dino paradise in Africa that I made up to explain all the dino cryptids there. And I mean come on, dino demons? That’s sick as hell.) Alrighty everyone! Welcome to Prehistoric Paradise! I’ll be your tour guide for today, call me Veli. Now, does anyone have any questions before we begin our walking tour? You sir, in the back? Oh right, the suits. Well you see, Prehistoric Paradise as a dimensional space is supposed to emulate the conditions of Earth of the past. This includes higher levels of oxygen in order to support our larger insect species as well as the plants around. As a human, you would get oxygen poisoning so our team has devised these suits in order for you to breathe properly. This is always why my demon fire is stronger than usual here, as well as some of the other demons that I see in this crowd. Just try not to breathe too closely to the plants, guys. You there, what about you? Yes, I am indeed a velociraptor Eden Demon. If you’re wondering about the height thing, it’s because of Jurassic Park. I mean I’m always gonna appreciate my fellow raptors and rag on how much the humans messed them up, I mean come on guys, you couldn’t keep just a little bit of our plumage? But I do appreciate the extra height. Being turkey sized is not fun when you’re on your own. So Lord Taxternal granted me this change. Although once again, I refuse to give up my plumage. Next question? Oh right, yeah that figures. We’re not AS bad as that place in the movies, but I do admit we’ve had our escapees. Considering these dinosaurs are magical in nature and way more intelligent, sometimes our fellow workers here take them out of this pocket dimension into the real world. Normally we keep them confined in isolated areas, but we’ve had our misses. These guys just wanna explore and hunt, and I can’t blame them. They’re intelligent enough to recognize they live in an eternal paradise, but they still wish to know of the outside world. As for dino cryptids in other places, after we realized that Africa was a bust we tried taking the dinos out to other places. That ended up not working either as now people are searching for them in South America and New Zealand. That’s why we enacted this tour program, so they can get a taste of the outside world from the comfort of the home we built for them. Alright, this will be my final question. Why did we make this place? Simple. Every Eden demon feels a connection to their given species. So when us dino demons realized that some of our dinos were being born with magic, we wanted to keep them. Animals have always had a chance to be born with magic, but the dinos learned how to channel it towards immortality. Yes, this does include the Megalord but we claim no responsibility for his actions. We rounded up all these magical dinos and sent them to a safe sanctuary in this pocket dimension we all reside in now. We put the entrance in Africa since we figured it was a perfect environment for everyone. Wild and untamed, even until the modern day. Now then, we shall begin our journey into the past! Just remember to stay close by and try not to aggravate anyone. Especially asking why they have feathers, we all have feathers. No you cannot pet them. Ok maybe the pterosaurs, they like getting their pycnofibres scratched. 

[lex1nat0r]

White Elephant: Moral quandaries are for people without freezers

AAR #20

Session reports from my ongoing Lancer game. The big two oh. It's a long one, I'm showing off how much work I put in.

Characters (LL 2):

Raiju (They/Them, Hacker 2/Heavy Gunner/Centimane/Nuclear Cavalier, Barbarossa 2) - HA Barbarossa “Counterproposal”

Sunshine (They/Them, Grease Monkey/Technophile 2/Engineer/Juggernaut, Pegasus 2) - HORUS Pegasus “Exchange of Affection”

Rook (He/Him, Walking Armory/Stormbringer/Brutal/Brawler 2, Balor 2) - HORUS Balor “Your Burden”

Daylight (She/Her, Technophile 2/Engineer 2/Infiltrator, Vlad 2) - IPS-N Vlad “Look What You Made Me Do”

Magpie (They/Them, Hacker 3/Technophile 2, Goblin 2) - HORUS Goblin “Destructive Interference”

NHPs:

Molotov - Via Sunshine’s Technophile talent - Projects as a small velociraptor - unshackled

Willow - Via Daylight’s Technophile talent - Projects as 1-2 squid - unshackled

Murgatroid - Via Magpie’s Technophile talent - Projects as a wizard? - shackled

Prometheus Antichiral - fork of a cascaded NHP from the Sanctuary Blue cloning facility - projects as a wizened old man - unshackled

Prev session writeup

With opposition in front of the corporate archive cleared and the massive blast doors rolled back, the lancers proceed inside. Sensors pick up several people hiding and it takes a while before a shaky Rimtech security guard comes out to challenge the five mech jocks on what they're doing. After assuring the guard and civilians that they aren't with the Guardian Fleet he takes them to a meeting room where everyone's holed up.

Several of the civilians want off-planet, which raises the question of whether the group should risk civilians running around on their highly secret, blink-capable battleship. Daylight resolves the issue by saying they should put all the civilians in cryosleep and only defrost them after a reasonable amount of travel time has passed. The group agrees to this.

The security guard leads the lancers (minus Raiju, who's watching the entrance) to the blinkspace topographical data they were after. Along the way they meet Alex, the facility's NHP, and decide to take them along. With the data and Alex's NHP casket secured, the lancers make their way out of Angelopolis to the marines' landing field. The civilians go up in the marines' lander while the lancers ride the Kingfisher back up. The civilians get safely tucked into cryosleep for what they think is a regular months-long journey while everyone else starts sorting out what to do next.

While the Eye of the Tiger is powering away from Angelus Landing on conventional drive to make it look like they're accelerating to near-lightspeed, Balboa notifies everyone that a broadcast from the Guardian Fleet has hit the omninet.

People of the Adramalech Sector: I am Thomas Angelgrave, Chairman-Martial of the Guardian Fleet, speaking on behalf of the Fleet. We have sojourned long in the dark beyond Union, and you do not need us to tell you that outer space is hostile to human life. We salute your hard-won lives and prosperity, and we are saddened to see that the so-called Third Committee of Union has failed you and is failing you. War with a hostile power is erupting in Boundary Garden, and the charlatans who claim to look after your interests show in the Dawnline Shore that they cannot even hold Union together. It is clear that their illegal coup of five hundred years ago has only served to weaken the once-great Union, allowing it to drift from the light of Cradle and humanity’s virtues.

We of the Guardian Fleet have decided that we can no longer wait in the dark as our beloved Union crumbles. Our time has come to act.

To the so-called Third Committee, our demands are simple:

Officially recognize the governance of the Guardian Fleet over this sector Immediately cease construction of the blink station Provide a timetable for dismantling the blink station Provide a timetable for the withdrawal of all Union fleet assets from the sector Agree to a defined border between the Adramalech sector and wider Union

In return, we are open to peaceful relations. We ask only that you let this sector stay as a shining beacon of what Union could be, and a place where Union and Cradle’s true values may live on should the worst come to pass. To the people of the Adamalech Sector: we welcome your cooperation in this difficult time. The recent bloodshed is regrettable. You have my and the Fleet’s apologies if your first contact with us was with our fists raised in anger. We can only hope that it will help to establish a foundation for a stronger, more prosperous sector. If we are to survive out here in the dark, we all must join together. We will not allow the so-called Third Committee’s disunity to infect your homes. With your help, we can safeguard this sector against the chaos brought on by Third Committee’s Union.  The Guardian Fleet is the true heir of Union. And we are here to help.

The lancers are having none of this and start thinking of ways to fight back. Fortunately Arjhet and Tehjra are one step ahead of them.

A small glimpse of the sector-wide vibe check, which will be representing the state of the campaign for the foreseeable future. These are all basically Clocks off of Blades in the Dark, but I thought with this many that representing them as bars would convey the information better. I started working on this like a month before my players actually got to see it and their response was exactly what I was hoping for.

After some deliberation on the state of things, the lancers take their downtime actions. Magpie and Raiju hack into the Guardian Fleet's network, allowing them to stir up dissent and confusion in their battle net. Sunshine, Rook, and Daylight focus on coordinating resistance on the omninet, and do so well that they manage to turn MilAgro neutral in the vibe-check. Remembering that the last piece of blinkspace data they're looking for is on MilAgro's homeworld of Angelus Prime, the lancers set on that as their next destination.

Next time: fight for your right (to party?)

Postscript: You never really know what's going to end up mattering in a campaign like this. I introduced Arjhet & Tehjra because I had a funny idea for a pair of NPCs, but they've turned out to be extremely important to the campaign. Similarly, Scholar Blyden just kind of fell out of a couple of narrative rolls and now the PCs have a direct line to one of the big factions in the sector. Just goes to show that you shouldn't be afraid to put stuff in a campaign and let it roll.