#humanized kid balloon boy

[helluva-hurricanes-blog]

Final designs, part 2.

The last of the main cast

The humans

And finally, the 5 children

Yea, I know, the 5 kids aren’t the canon ones. But you see that’s the amazing part— I don’t care! It’s my AU and they can be whatever I want.

Also, the names might be confusing because “there’s already a Charlie and Elizabeth??” Well here’s a piece of trivia for you. I made this AU before the puppet and baby had names, and these have been the names my versions of the 5 kids since like 2015? I’m too far at this point ti change it, besides, I think it’s cool. The crying child’s name is Connor Moore and there’s a reason his last name is different from the Aftons, but I’ll talk about that in a different post

Also also plushtrap and Fred Being apart of the main cast is probably confusing, but that’s ok. Your not supposed to understand it right now :)

Part 1

Part 3

EDIT: UPDATE

updated my Michael and Henry designs!

EDIT: PLEASE stop liking these they’re outdated!

[midnight-shadow-cafe]

Welcome Home, Tough Guy

Pairing: Simon “Ghost Riley X Reader

Warnings: fluff, reader acting silly and get to see some humanity in Simon instead of just the soldier we know he is

Authors Note: I hope you enjoy, i needed to see Simon as more of a human, so… here’s the baby boy

Word Count: 1.2k

Masterlist

MDNI18+MDNI18+MDNI18+MDNI18+MDNI18+

The past few weeks had been long and lonely without Simon. The countdown to his return felt endless, and in the days leading up to his homecoming, you’d channeled your anticipation into planning a celebration. It was silly, maybe even a little over-the-top, but you wanted to welcome him back in a way that showed him he was loved and that he could let his guard down here.

So, after a lot of last-minute tweaks and second-guessing, you finally set up your surprise: a big “WELCOME HOME, TOUGH GUY” sign, balloons you’d blown up by hand, a lopsided banner, and a snack table packed with all his favorite treats. You knew it might be too much for Simon, who always tried to slip back home as quietly as he could, but you couldn’t resist. After all, he deserved something a little special.

When you finally heard the familiar rumble of his truck pulling up outside, your heart skipped a beat, and you practically sprinted to the door, grinning like a kid on Christmas morning. Through the window, you caught sight of him as he stepped out, his tall, broad frame cutting an imposing figure in the fading light. Despite his usual guarded posture, there was something softer in his eyes as he looked up at the house.

As he made his way to the door, he froze, taking in the decorations with a raised eyebrow. His gaze lingered on the crooked banner, the balloons, and finally, the giant welcome sign on the door. His mouth twitched, the hint of a smile breaking through his usually stoic expression.

“Really?” he muttered, his tone deadpan. “A sign?”

“Oh, come on!” you teased, barely able to contain your excitement as he came up the steps. “After all this time away, you think I wouldn’t celebrate?”

He shook his head, clearly fighting back a laugh. “Didn’t peg you for the ‘welcome home party’ type.”

“Well, I’m making an exception for you,” you replied, hands on your hips. “You deserve it.”

He paused, glancing at you with an expression that was somewhere between amusement and disbelief. “Deserve a good meal and a quiet night, maybe. Not… all this.” He gestured to the decor, and you could see he was a bit overwhelmed.

“Oh, please.” You gave him a playful nudge as you guided him inside. “There’s even snacks.”

“Snacks?” His eyebrow lifted again as he took in the spread of chips, sandwiches, and a few neatly arranged drinks on the table. “Didn’t know I’d be gettin’ the five-star treatment.”

“Only the best for you, big guy,” you teased, and motioned to the couch where you’d piled up every blanket and pillow you could find. “Now, sit back and let me pamper you.”

Simon sighed but didn’t argue, sinking into the mountain of blankets with a look of amused exasperation. “I feel like I’m at some kind of spa,” he muttered.

“Exactly!” You handed him a cup of iced tea with a tiny, bright pink umbrella sticking out. “A full tropical experience, just for you.”

He stared at the drink, glancing at you with a mixture of bewilderment and amusement. “An umbrella?”

“Obviously,” you replied, trying to keep a straight face. “Welcome to paradise.”

For a moment, he just looked at you, as if he couldn’t quite believe any of this was real. Then, with a faint shake of his head, he took a careful sip, holding the tiny umbrella off to the side. You could tell he was trying to keep his usual stoic composure, but the faint smile tugging at the corners of his mouth was impossible to hide.

“Happy now?” he asked, glancing over at you with a smirk.

“Very,” you replied, settling in beside him with a grin. “Now, relax. Let me spoil you a bit.”

Simon gave a resigned sigh, leaning back against the cushions. But as he looked around at the makeshift decorations, you noticed a softness in his expression, a rare ease that he reserved just for moments like these.

“Missed you,” he murmured, his voice low, and reached out to take your hand in his, lacing your fingers together. The simple confession hit you like a wave, filling your heart with warmth.

“Missed you too,” you replied, leaning your head on his shoulder. “You know, you really need to take more breaks. You deserve some softness now and then.”

He let out a short chuckle, looking down at you with that rare, affectionate gaze. “Spoilin’ me with pink umbrellas and throw pillows, yeah?”

“Exactly,” you said, a mischievous smile spreading across your face. “Think of it as a taste of what life could be like if you ever let yourself actually relax.”

He shook his head, but you caught the faintest glimmer of amusement in his eyes. “Didn’t think I’d ever be the kinda man to need all this,” he admitted quietly, his voice almost too soft to hear. “Didn’t know I needed it ‘til I met you.”

The admission made your heart ache with a fierce tenderness, and you reached up to brush a hand across his cheek. “Everyone needs a little comfort, Simon. Even you.”

For a moment, he simply looked at you, his gaze deep and searching, as though he was trying to memorize every detail of your face. Then, with a rare gentleness, he shifted, slipping his arm around your shoulder and pulling you close. You nestled into his side, feeling the steady, reassuring warmth of his presence.

In that silence, he started running his fingers through your hair, the slow, soothing rhythm lulling you into a comfortable haze. You closed your eyes, letting yourself sink into the closeness, the softness of him in this moment. It was a side of Simon few ever got to see—the man beneath the mask, the one who craved peace just as much as you did.

After a while, you stirred, looking up at him with a playful grin. “So… what’s next? Movie? Board game? Or maybe I’ll make us some popcorn?”

He chuckled softly, shaking his head. “You’re just lookin’ for an excuse to beat me at somethin’, aren’t you?”

“Maybe,” you teased, poking his side. “Or maybe I just want an excuse to spend more time like this. With you.”

His gaze softened, and he leaned down to press a gentle kiss to the top of your head. “You don’t need an excuse, love. I’m not goin’ anywhere.”

As he held you, you felt the weight of his words settle into your heart, filling you with a deep, quiet happiness. For tonight, there were no missions, no walls between you, and no expectations—just Simon, your Simon, wrapped up in blankets and silly decorations, basking in a rare moment of pure, unguarded peace.

Here, in this cozy little bubble you’d created together, he wasn’t Ghost. He was simply Simon—the man who loved you, who let you see every part of him, even the sides he tried to hide. And for you, that was the greatest gift of all.

Hope you enjoyed! Please consider liking and reposting! -Midnight💜

[suncoved]

SALTWATER BLUES ! 𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𓇼 ࣪ 𓈒ㅤׂ𓆡 ⭒ㅤ𓈒ㅤׂ

the prologue — rafe cameron

pairing; childhoodbestfriend!rafe cameron x fem!reader

summary: she left him. in that house. in that town. alone. and he's never gonna let her forget it.

series masterlist!

The sun shone through the passenger seat window of your dad's driver, Al's, pristine black Porsche, burning your ear and face while you sat there allowing the pain to simmer.

You made no effort to move as the perfect houses of Figure 8 blended together to make one as your head span with the constant turning of the car. You hummed quietly as Al seemed to be saying many words, none of which made any sense in your current state.

As soon as you got off the plane to the mainland, boarded the ferry to Kildare, and met Al at the dock, it all seemed like a fever dream. A saltwater haze glossed itself over your eyes and mind as if nothing made sense to you anymore.

It was like it was only yesterday that your mom decided she had enough of having the responsibility of taking care of her daughter and was going to ship you off to your dad who hadn't seen you since you were 13, because well it was.

It was only yesterday.

6 years. It had been 6 years since you had been to The Outerbanks. 6 years since you had been to your hometown. 6 years since a certain dirty blonde-haired boy had watched his word slip through his hands like grains of sand through his fingertips.

Rafe Cameron wasn't Rafe Cameron without you. He had simply never known life without you. He hadn't even remembered anything of his life before you, albeit it was less than a year, but he knew. He knew that without you, he was simply a shell of a human being, soulless almost.

Ever since that fateful day that thirteen-year-old rafe had slammed the door to Tannyhill and ran the 20 or so meters to your neighbouring house.

He knocked on the door with the sequence of the secret passcode you both made up when you were six, even though you would never tell him you forgot it the day you made it up. Rafe pulled his balled fist back as the white door opened suddenly like someone was waiting for him.

He didn't understand why your father was at the door, he knew Rafe would also come to your house at this time every day in summer to come play.

"She's not here Rafe" Sincerity was laced in your father's tone as he looked down at the confused boy. "Where is she? I don't understand."

"Gone, kid. I'm sorry."

You were snapped back into consciousness as you heard the crunching of the gravel under the car, your father's home coming into full view in front of you. You knew you were about to draw blood from your bottom lip that you had been gnawing at ever since you arrived.

"Welcome home!"

You stood in the middle of your childhood home's doorframe, slightly jumping when your father popped out from the hallways that led to the lobby, enthusiastically yelling. You glanced around the foyer, bright words written on a banner etching 'Welcome Home!", with balloons and confetti scattered across the floor.

For a split second, you felt peace wash over you, though it was soon to be replaced by worry and anxiety.

"I missed you Bee" your father spoke, his arms engulfing your body as waves of memories were brought back from the childhood nickname. She was quick to hug back "I missed you too Dad" You couldn't help your mouth curling into a smile as you let go.

"Can I go up to my room and put my things away?" Your father waved his hand in reply, pointing towards the stairs before smiling and following Al out to the car to help with some of your stuff.

Being back in your room felt weird, though the balcony flashed in your eyes, an addition you had completely forgotten about. Dropping your bags in anticipation, you rushed to the glass doors, sliding them open. You had always loved the view of the outer banks, the glistening of the ocean and the sun that set upon the sky.

Your eyes locked on the large windows of the house in front of yours, a room that was far too familiar staring back at you. A messy bedroom was fully in your line of sight, the curtains not even slightly drawn.

Your eyes widened when you remembered who actually lived there, three boys walking into the space who you identified to be the trio that you had spent nearly all of your childhood with, Topper, Kelce and Rafe Cameron.

You quickly began to turn and walk back inside of your room, falling straight on your bed. Pulling one of your pillows to your face, you let out a loud groan into the fabric.

"Suck it up" you whispered to yourself, wiping away the salty tears that were now rolling down your face, as the memories flooded back.

You returned your gaze back to the balcony, standing up and walking over to the door. pausing for a moment, you contemplated whether or not it was worth it if Rafe saw you. You leaned your head against the door, sliding down the glass.

Though after everything, you were back in the obx, and there was nothing you could do about it. You just hoped you hadn't left too much damage on the teary-eyed dirty blonde you had left behind.

[how-serene]

In Your Eyes

Pairing - Dwayne (Lost Boys) x Neutral!Reader

Summary - A night on the boardwalk with Dwayne.

Word Count - 775

Warnings - fluff, mentions of smoking, no use of y/n, pet names

A/N - Billy Wirth, you absolute beauty.

Santa Carla’s cool breeze washed over your face. Behind you, the shrieks and laughter of friends broke through the crashing of the waves. They danced wildly around a bonfire, Mötley Crüe booming through a radio speaker. Despite the night bringing a cold chill, hoards of people still strolled along the boardwalk. Even from your place on the pier, you could feel the public’s infectious excitement. 

You leaned against the rickety railing, a cigarette held loosely between your fingers. Summer’s full moon hung high, reflecting off of the rippling waves of the water. Stars blinked down at you, against the sky’s black canvas. The pungent smell of the ocean invaded your airways, mixing with the bitter smoke. 

A pair of leather cladded arms snaked around your waist, startling you. 

“Hey, baby,” Dwayne purred, breath fanning against your ear. His hands traveled down to rest on your hips, squeezing at the flesh. 

“You’re late,” you pointed out, fighting back a grin. 

He merely hummed at your words, instead choosing to leave faint kisses on your shoulder. Even through the thick fabric of your shirt, his lips still managed to leave your skin buzzing.

Dwayne trailed his lips up, til he met the shell of your ear again. His rough hands turned you to properly face him, the railing pressed into your back. 

“Got caught up with something,” he explained, dark eyes shining down at you. 

From the faint ruby stain in the corner of his lip, you understood very quickly what that something was. You brought your thumb up, to swipe at the red smudge. The corner of his lip quirked up, carefully watching your movement. 

“You’re cold,” he noticed, leaning into your touch. 

“”The pier isn’t exactly the warmest place on earth.” 

“How long have you been waiting?” 

“Thirty minutes, give or take.” You shrugged, letting your hand fall back down to your side. 

Dwayne sighed, dark brown eyes drifting past you to stare out at the ocean waves. The wind had picked up, now faintly brushing against his thick black hair. He seemed lost, caught in a whirlwind of thoughts you couldn’t begin to decipher. 

You tucked a loose strand of hair behind his ear, effectively getting his attention. His eyes softened, sweeping over you. 

“Wanna know what’s been on my mind all night?” You asked, brushing the tip of your nose against his. Dwayne’s sweet mouth was only centimeters away from yours. His hands slipped up the back of your shirt, the cool silver rings he wore ghosting over the skin.

“What is it, doll?” he muttered, lips grazing the corner of your mouth. Patiently waiting for you to speak. His unshaven stubble scraped against your chin.

You planted a firm kiss on his cheek, before pulling back. 

“Winning that giant stuffed panda I saw near the balloon darts.” 

The pier was alive, as bright neon lights illuminated the boardwalk. The flood of patrons rushed past you, of kids dragging their parents by the cuff of their sleeves, or friends huddled together like packs of wolves. All vying for that last ride on the Ferris wheel, or an overpriced corndog before the park closed for the night. 

You walked, with Dwayne’s arm slung over your shoulders, and a stuffed Panda lovingly held in your hands. 

“Since when were you so good at darts, mister?”

Dwayne sheepishly smiled, glancing down at you, “Just one of my many talents.” 

You snorted, bumping your hip with his. It was odd, at times you realized. Dwayne smelled of cigarettes, and cheap booze most likely snagged from the victims of bonfire parties. His mouth tasted of mint, and nicotine when he would kiss you. There was always something beyond it though, a metallic taste your mind would block out before you could process it. 

Even though you knew. 

He appeared so human at times, it knocked you back. It was almost easy to brush off the strange coolness of his skin, or the carnivorous look in his features when a hoard of people would pass by you two. 

Then there were moments when the human-like quality of Dwayne overshadowed everything else. Moment’s like now, when he pressed you into his side, grinning as he peppered kisses over your hairline. You giggled, leaning back away from him, your heart thudding in your chest. Up ahead, his pack was gathered around a picnic-table, lazily leaning against it. Their ravenous gaze met yours, locked on your approaching form. Marko, with an infectious toothy smile and unkempt golden hair, waved at you. Dwayne grumbled, muttering something under his breath.

You were reminded that monsters lurked on every corner. 

In Santa Carla, at least. 

[as-is-above-so-below]

The Captain - Simon Riley x Sniper!Reader, Wife!Reader

Part 4: Visitors

summary: Ghost’s sniper wife (reader) joins Task Force 141 on an op, against his wishes call sign: Freyja warning: implied child loss Note: Thank you for all of your support! I'm starting to run low on ideas for the Rileys. If y'all would like more, I'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments or my DMs! I will say, my BIG Ghost headcanon is that he has a tongue piercing, so do with that what you will *side eye* Enjoy and blessed be! << Previous | Next >>

John cracked the door to the hospital room and poked his head in. “I heard you kids are ready for visitors?”

“You’re in your forties, Price. You’re hardly older.”

“And yet, here I am, honorary granddad.”

Simon was too focused on the small bundle in his arm, gently tracing a tiny button nose before laying his open palm on her belly. He had shed his balaclava hours ago but still sported a skull-printed facemask. He recently left his hair longer than usual on the top but kept it tight on the sides. It was thick and almost shaggy, blonde locks starting to wave and curl at the ends.

The group entered the room, a massive barrage of foil and latex balloons squeezing through the door frame behind them. The sergeants wore beaming smiles as they rushed to Freyja, laid back in bed, and each thrust huge, full bouquets of flowers. “Oh dear Jesus,” she laughed tiredly, taking them both and resting them on the table at her bedside. She would ask the nurses to take care of them later. Surely they would have some vases she could borrow until they went home. 

Most of her labor was spent on her feet, unable to bring herself to get in bed for hours. She took to either hunching over it, Simon’s calloused hands gripping hers and dragging up and down her spine, or practically hanging from his shoulders, her forehead pressed against his chest. In a state of pure exhaustion, Price convinced her to give her feet rest, even if only for a little bit.

Not wanting to overwhelm her as the boys fussed over her, John calmly approached with a soft smile and placed a hand on her head. “You broken?” he asked, petting her hair as the boys tied off the balloons to the rails of the bed.

“I’m good,” she smiled back, leaning into the touch. She motioned for a hand, and Price and Soap helped her adjust to sitting up straighter. Johnny bent down and pressed a loud, wet kiss to her cheek, which she batted away with a scrunched nose. “Si, bring her here. Price first.”

“Aww, not fair! ‘M the best lookin’ uncle! I should go first!”

“Johnny,” Simon warned, giving the Scot a warning look. “Keep it down before I revoke your godfather privileges.” It was an empty threat, but he piped down anyway.

Soap was a human battering ram leaving the base, plowing through any soldier and recruit that got in the way as Gaz, Ghost, and Freyja followed closely behind. John saw a small smile on her flushed face when Gaz and Soap squeezed into the front seat together, chanting We’re having a baby over and over, to which she retorted, I didn’t realize the 141 was a military polycule.

John nestled the infant into the crook of his elbow, her swaddle shifting to leave her arms free. She squirmed, moving from Simon’s arms to John’s, her pink little face scrunching up in irritation. He gently brushed a finger along her sternum, which her tiny hand wrapped around, and she settled again. “She’s beautiful, Y/N.”

Johnny leaned over the Captain’s shoulder, Kyle doing the same on the other side. “God help her if she gets your ugly mug, Lieutenant,” Gaz teased, wiggling one of her feet within the blanket.

Ghost decided to let that one pass. “This is your granddad, lovie,” Simon said, his quiet voice rumbling. “Price, this is Joan.”

John’s eyes flickered between the man in front of him and the woman in the bed behind him. “Joan?”

“Mmm,” Simon nodded, his mask shifting as his cheeks rose underneath. He wasn’t usually so expressive but was exhausted and feeling particularly sappy.

John’s eyes watered, and he blinked back at the newborn. He had spent five long, sleepless days in that same hospital, forever yet not so long ago. John didn’t have a wife or children of his own. His team was the closest thing he had to family. He felt a fatherly responsibility to all four of them. Even then, it shouldn’t have been John Price cradling her face, whispering words of helpless encouragement, countless hours desperately pleading with command to pull Ghost out of his mission, to no avail.

Simon didn’t return until four months later.

He couldn’t remember a time before that when he had felt his heart break cleanly in two. Notifying next of kin was difficult but quick; drop the news and move on to the next. But the pain and, for lack of a better for, agony Freyja suffered during Simon’s access was unlike anything he’d witnessed.

Now the warm, healthy baby in his arms was his namesake.

“I’m honored, Simon. Thank you, both of you.”

“We were thinking ‘Joanie’ for a nickname.”

Soap whipped around, wide eyes meeting Freyja’s. “Like…Johnny? Me?” he whispered, his skin suddenly hot and his ears turning a bright shade of red. At the slightest sign of confirmation from her, he tackled his Lieutenant with his entire body weight, arms thrown around his neck. Simon grunted at the sudden contact and stumbled just a step. He awkwardly patted the man’s back with one hand.

“Johnny.”

Sniff.

“Get off of me.”

“You named yer daughter after me!”

“I named my daughter after my Captain.”

“Sure, Ghost. Whatever helps you sleep at night.”

~*~

Simon was pulled from his slumber by the soft rustling and whines from the foot of their bed. Soft morning rays peeked through the gap in the curtains. Before her cries grew to high-pitched shrills and woke Freyja from her much-needed sleep, he rolled out from the covers and shuffled to pick her up. “Mornin’, lovie,” he hummed, unwrapping the tight bundle and freeing her limbs. Simon chuckled at her long stretch, carrying her out of their bedroom and quietly closing the door behind him. She deserved a little extra sleep.

He puttered around the house with Joanie in one arm, softly chatting about their plans for the day. Simon spent a lot of time talking to her, eyes resembling his gazing up at him, smiling or gurgling occasionally when she gummed her hands. He would tell her about any messages or videos her uncles had sent, funny stories from base, tales of his and Freyja’s travels during their time in the service. He had yet to talk about his parents or her Uncle Tommy, and anything related to missions was absolutely off the table.

A tiny, soft palm smacked his chest, grabbing his attention. His lip tugged at the corner, and he playfully tapped her nose. “What’re ya doin’, there? I’ve got nothin’, unfortunately. ‘M not your mum.” Freyja would tell him his accent got thicker the more tired he was if she were awake. He never really noticed a difference.

The bottle warmer on the counter pinged, indicating that it was ready. 

He settled in the deep corner of the couch as she ate, staring up at his like she always did. “Pretty girl,” he muttered while thumbing her cheek, which was starting to get that chunky plushness with every pound she gained. He stared and stared until she shoved at the empty bottle. It was placed on the coffee table, and Simon slid down until he was on his back, with her small body perched on top of him.

“I’m not sure what I did to deserve you and your mum.” She lifted her head at the sound of his voice, another skill she had been approving. “Your granddad’s always tellin’ me I’m too hard on myself. ‘You’re a hero, Simon, you save thousands of lives every day’,” he said, mimicking John’s posh accent. “Certainly don’t feel like a hero. It’s our job to protect people. ‘We get dirty and the world stays clean’.” Simon snorted, and the baby cooed at him, stretching to palm at his face.

“How’s that work? I’m supposed to keep the public safe but I couldn’t protect my family. I was gone. Your mum almost died.” He blinked away the hot tears in his eyes. He cleared his throat to chase away the burning ache forming. His fingers rubbed her back to ground himself, taking deep, steady breaths. When Simon turned his eyes from the ceiling back to his daughter, he saw her fighting sleep, eyes fluttering.

He could stay like that forever.

“But then we might not have you. Funny, that.”

Snoozing soundly against his warm skin, his hand firm enough to keep her in place so she couldn’t slip off. Simon got as comfy as he could without jostling the baby too much, wedging a throw pillow under his neck. 

He had never considered leaving his profession before seeing an empty nursery, dismantled and stripped to not look at it for another moment. They had both lost small pieces of themselves then. Simon had to learn to cope with the guilt of not being present for his wife during her darkest times, and Frey struggled to grasp her new reality, one that went against all of her plans at the time. 

But she was stubborn and determined to work, knowing he wouldn’t leave the force without her.

At the time, he was furious at her American pig-headedness and inability to listen to reason.

Now, with new photos littering their shelves, new toys and clothes strewn about, and his phone relentlessly ringing with desperate pleas for FaceTime calls and pictures, he was grateful. 

~*~

Where the fuck is he?

Freyja moved through their house with brows furrowed together as she searched the rooms for her husband. Panic briefly overtook her when she woke and found an empty bassinet until she realized the bed next to her was as well and figured Simon had taken their daughter to another room. 

But which one?

Eventually, she found him sprawled out on the couch, one leg dangling off the chaise and an arm thrown over his eyes. He looked peaceful with their newborn against his bare, scarred chest, slowly rising and falling with each breath. Her heart swooned, and she snapped a quick picture of the scene. Simon lifted his arm at the shutter click, his eyes half-lidded. A sleepy grin tugged at his lips, and he beckoned her over. “Hi, sweetheart,” he whispered as she bent down, securing a lazy kiss with a soft groan.

Their first few weeks as parents were blissful, even with the lack of sleep and drastic change in routine. Joanie was sleeping well, but Freyja and Simon struggled to get used to her sleep schedule. Anxiety and PTSD flared when she dreamt, and she often shot awake at any little noise, immediately going to the bassinet. He had nightmares but had gotten used to them since childhood, whereas her night terrors only started in the last couple of years.

Even at her young age, it was clear that she was already a daddy’s girl. Little Joan recognized his voice from across the house and sought him out, refusing to settle until she was in his arms or strapped to his torso. She preferred sleeping on their chests, listening to their heartbeats. She especially loved skin-on-skin contact.

Simon took to fatherhood immediately, fussing over her every need and want and happily chatting away, although they were one-sided conversations. His dad jokes were almost unbearable. If you had told her a few weeks ago that there was room in her to love Simon even more, she would have told you you were crazy. But watching him with his daughter proved her wrong. Her heart grew impossibly with every passing day.

On top of that, the sight of him with their daughter snuggled up with him, his tattooed sleeve, blonde hair mussed with sleep? God damn.

“You should know I’m dying to jump your bones right now.”

He rolled his eyes but smiled wider. “Yeah?”

“Mhm, the daddy energy’s really doin’ somethin’ for me.”

“Oh, don’t you worry, love. I’ll take ya to bed as soon as you’re able. It’s only been two months.”

Small hands grasped at his skin, alerting him to her stirring. Simon gently shushed her as he sat up, shifting her to his shoulder; she somehow looked even tinier in his hold. Something fluttered in her chest again as he nuzzled Joanie’s shoulder, and she beamed at him. He shifted under her gaze, looking amused.

“Staring’s kind of my thing, Frey. It’s unsettling.”

“I told you, fatherhood looks good on you.”

BANG BANG BANG

“Good mornin’ Mexico!” Soap’s voice cried through the door, followed by Gaz’s chesty cackles.

Only Freyja jumped when the door shook, but they both looked towards it, Simon’s brow raised. “Bloody hell, are they daft? It’s nine o’clock on a Saturday!”

“Which means it’s their only free time, and they want to see us,” she scolded and nudged him to the kitchen. He acted tough, but she knew her husband well enough to know how much the team’s affection meant to him. Neither of them had any family to speak of, whether in England or America. It takes a village to raise a baby, as they say, and what a town they had.

With a wicked smile on her face, as Simon passed her, she wound up and slapped his ass with a sharp crack, earning a hiss.

“The fuck, Frey!”

“Your fault for walking around like that! It’s scandalous!”

He was wearing grey sweatpants.

“You’re pushin’ it, love. Don’t be a cheeky brat.” (Translation, ‘I love it, please do that again’).

He disappeared into the kitchen, and Freyja tied her robe in front as someone banged on the door again. “Jesus Christ, hold your horses!”

The second the lock turned, Gaz busted the door open (it bounced off the coat rack behind it), ready to pounce. “Where’s the babe?” he cried, hands on her shoulders as he physically moved her out of his way.

“Hello to you too, Kyle. Lovely weather we’re having.”

He pecked her cheek with a quick Hello, then immediately flipped her off, storming past her towards the kitchen where soft baby noises came from. From the other room, she heard the sergeant practically squeal, “There’s my girl! Give her here!”

“Sergeant—”

“Kindly get fucked, mate!”

“I’m warning you, Garrick!”

A scuffle and light cursing rang through the house, and Soap’s laugh shook the walls as he hugged her tightly, squishing her. “Pure mental about that baby, he is,” he said, then kissed her forehead. “Oof, ya look like shite, hen.”

“Thank you, Soap. It’s truly a marvel that you’re still single.”

They joined Ghost and Gaz in the kitchen, Johnny carrying two large paper bags. The warm smell of butter, grease, and onions wafted through the air, and Freyja deeply inhaled, savoring it. “We brought breakfast as payment for your troubles.”

She snatched one from him, pulled one of the takeout boxes out, and threw herself at the table.

“Did you put the kettle on?” Kyle asked, smiling down at Joan and tickling her belly. She kicked her legs furiously, grabbing at his fingers with both hands in a tight baby grip. “Holy shit, the bloody grip on you!” 

Simon huffed and muttered some choice words under his breath. “I was workin’ on it when you nearly broke my door in and kidnapped my child.”

“Sweet, I’m dyin’ for a cuppa.”

As if reading each other’s minds, Soap and Freyja groaned, in sync, “Fuckin’ Brits.”

taglist: @esthervalea, @miss-leto, @lethalchiralium, @sweetestcowboy, @blueoorchid, @apocalypticseagull, @eatingtheworldsoffanfiction, @covenlovenn, @330bpm-whiplash, @gnoccheyy, @jaggernauticals, @dwkfan, @untoldshortsofthefandomsdoms, @bobfloydsgf, @maviee, @thomaslefteyebrow, @kyovy, @prodyng, @scout-fang, @avalkyrieofparis, @misshoneypaper, @berryjuicyy, @voteforpedropascal

Copyright © 2023 as-is-above-so-below. All rights reserved.

[666writingcafe]

Quick-Fire Headcanons (13)

In an argument, Asmo fights dirty, often referencing embarrassing things that his opponent has done in order to make them look awful.

Diavolo has a special pillow that he has to use; otherwise, he will wake up with a sore neck.

Mammon is quick to jump to conclusions but is also good at handling other people’s problems quickly and effectively (just not his own).

Satan, Simeon, and MC form a very successful study group.

Lucifer will not wet his toothbrush at all when he's brushing his teeth; he'll just put toothpaste on it and call it a day.

Diavolo, Simeon, and Solomon all have very loud sneezes.

Before MC, Lucifer would buy himself a couple bottles of Demonus on Valentine’s Day and drink his sorrows away.

Due to the many scuffles he’s gotten in, Mammon’s become quite good at parkour/freerunning.

Solomon once had flame decals pasted onto his vehicle.

Out of his brothers, Asmo can blow the biggest bubblegum balloon.

Out of his brothers, Levi sunburns the easiest.

Simeon really likes raisins.

Lucifer usually carries a lighter on him because there have been times where he is so stressed out that he will smoke a cigarette or two (or if he’s in the human world, a whole pack, since Devildom cigarettes are more powerful than human world ones).

Asmo once got too cocky with the epilator and ripped out a large portion of one of his eyebrows.

Levi knows how to do the Mario and will bust it out at parties if he’s drunk enough.

Mammon was once dared to retreat into the sewers fully nude and search for rings and coins.

Diavolo will sometimes order things off the kids’ menu if he’s not feeling super hungry (and knows he won’t get recognized and consequently dragged for it).

Solomon sometimes browses the internet for pictures of taxidermy gone wrong (and prints some out to scare people).

Beel once had a dream where he broke into a gym, slathered baby oil all over his body, and slid around on the floor.

There’s a part of Lucifer that wants to run off into the mountains and pretend to be a cryptid in order to scare people.

Lucifer and Barbatos like the taste of black licorice (which Diavolo finds disgusting).

Belphie would complain about the heat while he insists on wearing hoodies (for the aesthetic).

MC once showed Luke a couple of iSpy books, and the boy still has not recovered from the experience.

[miss-nandini]

If you want angst I have one with a happy ending so.

In this the mc is depress because it seems like everyone forgotten their birthday and they didn't get an interview, a gift from a student or even gotten the dorm decorated, which leads her sadden but doesn't say anything and the boys feels guilty on learning what happen and try to make it up, upon learning they never celebrated their birthday at all.

A/N: I'm really sorry for being this late. Hope you are doing well. It was supposed to have angst. But it turned out kinda funny. This was rushed as well .Enjoy! 💜💜💜💜

Happy Birthday Dear Prefect! (F! Reader)

When you first found yourself in Twisted Wonderland, you didn't know what to do with that piece of information or yourself. All you wanted was to go back to your world and end the adventure that was forced upon you. Since then, a lot of time has passed. You made some friends for life, who really feel like a new family at times– yeah, minus the disastrous parts.

Maybe that's why when everyone forgot your birthday it stung. But you weren't going to make a fuss over that. You ate your lunch quietly as Ace and Deuce bickered like always. These days, Jack, Epel and even Sebek joins you guys at times. In a nutshell, not a day goes by without the boys being chaotic.

It was Ace who noticed the sad look on your face.

"Hey (Y/N), why the long face?"

Everyone quieted down fast after that and suddenly you were the center of their attention.

"Are you feeling unwell (Y/N)?"

Deuce asked in worry.

"No, guys, it's nothing, don't worry."

You replied.

"Then... wait... I feel like we are forgetting something important here!"

Deuce frowned.

"Huh... Wait, no, I just remembered... Prefect, isn't today your birthday?"

You sucked in a breath and the gears in their seemed to turn.

"OMG! I'm so sorry!"

"Myahhhh— hench-human, it's your birthday?!"

"There's no time to be sorry, Loosey-Deucey. We gotta decorate ramshackle and invite everyone and give our gifts— we have no time to waste!!!"

Ace was clearly panicking. You couldn't even get a word out. Suddenly, Deuce got up from his seat and yelled

"ATTENTION EVERYBODY! IT'S OUR PREFECT'S BIRTHDAY. ALL OF YOU ARE INVITED!!!"

He ignored the bewildered looks, the others shot at him and sat back down.

"No need for invitation cards anymore."

Later, after all of you were done with school, Ace and Deuce took it upon themselves to decorate the whole dorm.

"Guys, it's fine really—

"No, it's not fine!!"

"Myahhhh, what do we do with this balloons?!"

"You kids need a hand?"

You were startled by the new voice. You looked around and saw Jack, Ruggie and Leona standing there. When did they even come in? Who even left the door open?

"Huh, you will never get done with anything this way. Let the experienced step in."

Leona smirked and the others snickered.

"Do I get to have a say in this?"

"Nope, herbivore."

Ruggie was cleaning the table when a thought struck him.

"Wait, it's a birthday party. So, what about the birthday cake?"

"Trey said he will bring one, don't worry!"

Ace answered.

"Well, well, well. Everyone is worried about the decoration? What about the prefect? You wound me folks."

It was Vil. Wait... Vil?

"I told them to come (Y/N)!!"

Epel smiled at you.

"How can we not attend mon trickster's birthday?"

Rook chimed in.

"Come with me, sweet potato. Let's prepare you."

You could only nod as Vil dragged you upstairs. You could no longer understand what was going on. From no one remembering your birthday to suddenly the chaos— you couldn't wrap your head around it.

By the time Vil finished, you could hear so many voices from downstairs.

"There you go, my princess. You look absolutely stunning tonight. Tonight, may all eyes turn to look at you in wonder."

He kissed your forehead softly before stepping away.

"Thank you... Vil."

You were truly grateful. You couldn't help but smile brightly.

"Let's go now."

With that, the two of you headed downstairs.

"Hello, guys!"

All heads turned to look at you and you were surprised to see so many familiar people. Even Idia and Malleus were there!

"Oh my God! You look absolutely gorgeous!!"

"Y-you look cool, prefect."

"Oh my, our prefect looks so fine tonight."

"You are as beautiful as ever, child of man."

"You look ethreal, dear."

Endless compliments flied your way. All of your friends were there and you couldn't be happier.

"How about we cut the cake now?"

Trey chuckled.

"Yes!"

You cut the cake and the other chanted happy birthday. The way you felt couldn't be expressed with words. After the cake was cut and shared with everyone, the guys wished you again and gave you their gifts. Then, suddenly

"Wait, everyone. It's our prefect's birthday. She needs to give us a speech!"

Cater spoke up.

"Guys, I—

"No! Cater is right!"

"Say something for us (Y/N)!"

"Please!"

"No need to be afraid!"

"(Y/N), (Y/N), (Y/N)!!!!"

Well, you couldn't say no anymore. The way they were looking at you, it made you feel so warm and fuzzy inside.

"Alright! Alright, everyone! I will!"

Ortho handed a microphone to you as people started to quiet down.

"First of all, I would love to thank everyone who came here to celebrate my birthday. I will especially thank my best friends Ace, Deuce and Grim. Leona, thank you for stepping up to help us. Trey, thank you for making me this beautiful cake. Vil, thank you so much for helping me dress up. Azul, Jamil, thank you for helping out with the food. All the others— Jack, Epel, Riddle, Cater, Idia, Ortho, Ruggie, Jade, Floyd, Rook, Kalim, Silver, Sebek, Lilia and Malleus! Thank you, all of you! When I first found myself in Twisted Wonderland, all I wanted to do was go back. But, because all of you, I found great friends— a big family here. Yes, there are bad times, but with you guys by my side, I don't care. With you all, I want to continue my journey here. With you guys... I know I will never be alone...I know, everything will be fine..."

As people clapped and cheered, you knew everything will turn out well despite a bunch of problems you might face.

[lawva-girl]

Portrait Photography headcanons

Characters: Luffy, Zoro, Sanji, Law, Kid, Nami, Perona

total wc: 1600(ish)

Mainly fem reader, Its gender neutral in reality buuut i dislike the idea of men reading this.... (photography opinions let me know if you want to hear me yap about it)

Luffy:

•as soon as he finds out ur a photographer he begs to see your work, if it’s printed he’ll prob ask for a copy (i just see him as a collector!)

• won’t ask you to take pics of him but one day he’s messing around on the deck of the sunny and ussop brings out water balloons

• seeing him slightly wet, and running around with no shirt on… motivated you.

• you take a couple shots and look, immediately realizing you need to print some!

• the photos show off his physique, not too big but definitely toned. His hair is wet and sticks to his head a little, plus he has a small sunburn coming on, giving him a natural blush. He’s sporting a cocky smile that only comes on when he’s being competitive, and he looks handsome enough to kill.

• zoro is interested in the print (i know what you are zoro) buuut luffy wants nothing to do with pictures of himself.

Zoro:

•HATES being on camera

• he will always be sleeping in any shots you get of him. Unfortunate but it is what it is

• he thinks you look great while taking photos though, and will watch you watch others.

• he admires the focus you have, but also loves to test it. Calling your name when he sees you take your final action before the shot, scaring you when you are looking through your viewfinder, covering the lens of your camera… he’ll mess with you endlessly

• everytime you catch him, you of course get mad and he just laughs (bring back zoro laughing) and walks away from you.

• but to get back at him, you snap a few photos of his back as he walks away..

• and wow does that man have a back, the muscles are so toned and big that you can see each one clearly through his shirt, dabs of sweat rest on his neck, where his tanned skin looks like it is glowing. Thankfully you used the right exposure to capture the details in his arms as well, with tiny scars dotting his skin like freckles. He’s looking to the side, with a beer bottle in hand. It’s just enough that you can see his profile, but not his entire face. The bottle is straight up in the sky as liquid is held in place (in the photo) against his lips… it’s definitely a picture you would keep just for you.

• zoro discovers a print and slices it 20 ways before discarding it into the sea. He doesn’t realize that you have more copies, and digital back ups :)

Sanji:

•he would def object to you taking any photo of him, arguing that you should be photographed instead

• silly boy abt seeing his pics

• ofc would love and support you

• would ask to be taught how to take pictures good so he could take them of you instead

• but he wouldn’t mind seeing like action shots of himself cooking

• hed prob be like “this is how you see me Cherie?” Jaw dropped maybe

• I think he might get an ego about it if zoro was in the room….

• once again they would be action shots of him cooking, closeups on his hands cutting things or seasoning meat perchance..

• he’d always look focused and his cigarette smoke would reaaaally set the mood of the collection I think

• the final photo (of like the session of collection of them) would HAVE to be the final plating of the dish.

• side note sanji would absolutely relate to you, creating things is human nature and (if you were a photographer) he would relate to that soooo much, taking things that exist already and making them more beautiful or enhanced and possibly an experience is something he understands I think….

Law:

•BIGGEST HATER

•he would blush and shy away from the camera

• prob get angry as well

• he would always be behind you when the camera is out, like DEtermined to not be in any shots

• I think it comes from, perchance, a fear of being perceived? Like he feels like he doesn’t deserve to be around so he tries to avoid any proof of it maybe (pls kill me if you disagree)

• he would compliment your work very technically, for instance “you picked the perfect exposure for this shot” and whatnot

• I think he’d try to be objective about it all

• the vibe of photography for documentation rather than photography purely as an art form

• but I think he would show you the photos in his medical books, of like diseases and cells and bodies, and ask you what you thought

•kinda a means of learning about why you like photography, but also because it’s actually changing the way he thinks about even the most basic of pictures he sees

• obvi eventually you would sneak a couple of photos of him, while he would clean his figures or coins, whenever he was distracted pretty much

• the first time, you told him right away and asked if he wanted them to be deleted. But when he saw the faces you had captured his brain like clicked in place

• hed look focused, with a slight smile and soft ish eyes, his hair fell in the perfect way somehow and you truly thought he was the most handsome guy on the planet

• the photos would have an air of “crazy man surrounded by silly things” (pls ignore this if it sound crazy I have such a specific vision in my head)

• I think he wouldn’t react, at first, but later he’d look at them again and slowly understand how you saw him, and how it wasn’t a crime to just exist with the things and ppl he liked

Kid:

•he would force you to take pictures of him.

• like genuinely force… he would touch up his own makeup, pick out a wardrobe, give you notes on the vibe and lighting he wanted, it would be a full week of work

• I just know he isn’t shy in any way and would keep copies hanging on the wall, they came out great so you would keep a smaller version in your wallet (hehe)

• he would Not let you take all of the credit (def would tell people it was all his idea)

• I think he’d try to sell them somewhere, but the price would be too high and no one would buy them

• at the end of the day he cherished them so much bc it was an excuse to hang out with you and flirt and stuff, not that he would need an excuse to do it

• he also would love to see you working the camera and any lighting apparatus, reminding him of you drooling over him while he would work on his stuff

• now he gets to drool over you :D

Nami:

•the camera LOVES her

• in this fake world you took her bounty picture, and you and her made them into cards to sell (like you would for an idol or whatnot)

• she loves having intimate moments with you though, and those photos would NEVER see the outside of her room.

• they are kept under lock and key so none of the gross boys will see them, it’s just for you and Nami to love and appreciate eachother

• I think she would force you to let her take shots of you, with her being so beautiful it was easy for you to self deprecate, and she wanted to hear no more of it

• she would prove to you how beautiful you were, getting all the right angles and lighting

• seeing the pics she would take of you def would change ur mind about yourself, if Nami, BEAUTIFUL Nami could see you in that way how could you not?

• I think beyond that the two of you would take pics of the guys on the ship doing stupid stuff, like luffy hitting zoro on accident or something

• you two would share in those moments, glances, touches, laughter, you and Nami were meant to last

Perona:

•she would love taking pics of you, with you, and you taking pics of her? She would love every bit of it

• she would get annoyed if you invited anyone else to the two of y’all’s sessions, even if she knew it was just friendly

• I think she would get jealous if you took pictures of other people, turning into her whiny mode if you did

• she would strive to be your muse, wearing creative outfits and doing her hair and makeup in fun and pretty ways to catch your attention

• ofc it would work everytime, and you would go running to her

• Perona always looked amazing in pictures (and she would LOVE when you include her ghosts) so you always wanted to take pics of her

• I think the relationship between you two would grow a bit like artist obsessed and muse… I feel like she’s kinda crazy and would like lowkey manipulate you into it? But I mean I believe reader is smart enough to be aware of it but choose to play into it

• she would show off to zoro and mihawk, something something “I have a relationship and you two aren’t even close to getting one” followed by her cute ass laugh

(THANK YOU SO MUCH @head-empty-just-ace YOU SAVED ME)

[locketsvault]

「 BIRTHDAY DINNER WITH AYATO 」

pairing: ayato kirishima x male reader

tags: male reader reader, established relationship, first person, amab terms used, smut

warnings: sexual content, descriptions of sexual acts

request: hai pookie :3 Its my birthday today, and this is my first time requesting for anything on here, but can you write an ayato and his male s/o doing the deed (ahem...) and him cooking for his s/o on his bday?? Preferably hcs but whatever makes you comfortable <3. (original request found here.)

word count: 838

a/n: I wanted soooo badly to write this the second I got the request, except I got it while suffer by a nasty viral infection and my eyes could barely stay open, I’m so sorry.

It’s surprising just how well this man is at cooking human food. Even he was shocked and kind freaked out. I’m not kidding either, he’s a wonderful cook. And eventually it grows on him as a love language for you.

Which is how your birthday started off simple, yet quite wholesome.

Your apartment was set up for the night, pillows and blankets decorating the couch so you can snuggle and watch him cook. He knew you loved watching, and who could blame you.

Also, screw eating at the dining room table today, he totally brought you your food to eat on the couch. He could care less about manners lmao.

Also also, somehow you managed to talk him into being comfortable enough to eat with you. Ayato is not one to care about freaking humans out or not when eating yk, people, but you’re different. He doesn’t want to scare you off. Yet you’re comfortable with it, and you always reassure him.

You put on a random movie to have on in the background as you both sat on the couch and ate the amazing food.

I should also probably point out there Ayato is not one for extravagance. If others are than fine, but he isn’t. So your apartment is going to be decorated with cute happy birthday signs and balloons. He believes that of service and quality time is all you need. And he isn’t entirely wrong… he just missed one thing.

Somehow during dinner time both of your plates ended up on the coffee table, you in his lap, and him having a burning hard on in less than five minutes. I would say oopsies but was it really?

It didn’t take long for him at all to flip you over on the couch and go down on you. You wanted sex? That’s fine, but since it’s a special day you’re getting extra taken care of. You poor thing.

He started off by sucking you off, which side note, getting a blowjob by this man is heavenly. So I think I’ve said this before, but he runs hot. And that includes his mouth. It’s not scalding hot, but it is hot enough for stimulation. And he knows how to use his mouth. He knows exactly how to pleasure you in the ways that make you curl and scream his name.

Once you’ve came from him giving you a blowjob he swallows by the way he will then work on opening you up for him. Not at the same time, he’s dragging this out and worshiping your body.

This boy… he snickers and smirks at your whines and complaints. He feeds off of it. Genuinely. But he makes up for it by making sure you feel amazing.

As I established before, no condoms. He sees them useless. Oh and, simple missionary because he wants to see your face while also doing all the work and having you under him.

He’s the kind of guy to brace both of his forearms next to your head while connecting your foreheads. And yes, he’s locking eyes with you the entire time, especially when he pushes in the first time.

There’s definitely been times where you’ve had angry sex or just been rough to let off steam, but this is not it, and he wants to make it clear. He’s grateful you were born and that he has you.

He starts off with slow deep thrusts, wanting to feel every inch of you and vice versa. He’ll kiss you a bit rough but still tenderly. You probably feel like you’re going insane by how much he’s drawing it out.

He picks up the pace eventually though, throwing one of your legs over his shoulder. Another thing he loves about you, how flexible you’ve become for moments like this. He likes the greedily believe it was all for him.

Now here’s the extra fun part. Ghoul stamina. He can go many rounds and he can keep himself from cumming as quick. You’ll most likely have two more orgasms before he even allows himself one. And he can keep going after that.

His cum btw, is also hot. You can feel it filling you up. Oh, and no, he does not pull out after, especially if you’re going more rounds. He loves filling you up before inevitably watching it leak out of you.

Sex with Ayato is always amazing, but your birthday was probably the best you’ve had since your first time with him. He did everything he could to take care of you. That includes sex all night. You probably got about two hours of sleep? He’s not sorry.

I want to be sappy real fast though, he was probably whispering I love yous and praises on what he loves about you and what you do to him in your ear as your crying out. And considering how much this man can be emotionally constipated, that’s a big deal for him. And it was his birthday gift to you, his love.

[detentiontrack]

Top funniest amphibby lines and moments, in no particular order (except for the first one because I think it’s the funniest line in TV history) (paraphrased because it’s too early for me to hunt through episode transcripts to find the exact wording)

We’re trying to teach Polly how to play kickball! Which is challenging for obvious reasons!

No Tyler I will not clown face you

Well, Doc, I think you've done it. I think you've cured me of my fear of direct eye contact- *nightmare clown balloon from a horror movie passes by the window* AHHHHHHH

Did that creepy old man just lick EVERYONE on the bus???????? (Honorable mention: *panicked* bOy I could SURE USE SOME COFFEE)

Hop Pop, trying to pass as a human: What would you say for an older frog who's complaining about back pain these days? Vet: ummmm a frog complaining? Hop pop: Well, honestly, he holds it in and soldiers on. He's noble like that.

Polly: what’s your problem? Hop Pop: well to be honest, my cholesterol has been a little-

Polly: oh Sprig good. You survived. Sprig: yEah! I KICKED him! 😃

Anne: Oh, yeah, like you're really gonna tase a kid... *immediately gets tased*

We got banned for life! :D it was Anne’s fault

Anyone need a cough drop? 🤠

WHY IS EVERYTHING YOU SAY SO AGGRO???? 😨

Tongue him?? I hardly know him!!

Marcy: she’s just saying hewwo!!! 🤩🥰 *immediately almost gets eaten*

Polly: (a literal baby btw) hehe… frogs died here :)

Mr. X: sorry, coy is my default setting

Mr X, interrogating the Plantars: alright pinkie, I want to know. Start from the beginning Sprig: I was born on a humid swampy evening, just a tiny cute tadpole with big dreams 🥹

Mr X, still interrogating the Plantars: what’s your master plan Polly (still a literal baby. 5 years old): DUH to eliminate my enemies and take over the world! Mr X: AHA […] tell me more! Polly: *starts listing nearly every person in wartwood*

Sprig: your last friend was kiiiiinda totally evil :/

Not a specific line, but I think Sprig’s accidental homophobia and choosing to be a hater in Marcy at the gates is so funny

Nightmare toy: I eat eyes….. *screaming* ice cream. I eat ice cream. Hop Pop: oh! Well that’s fine Anne: loggle would love this thing :/

*after seeing a detailed wood carving Loggle made of himself super buff and muscular*: Sprig: Whoa, Loggle. We gotta talk about this man. We're comin' back. We're gonna talk about this. All right, good-bye 👋

*Sasha busting out cheerleader moves in the middle of a dangerous mission because of “muscle memory”. Twice.*

*Sasha drawing actual emojis on paper instead of writing or signing her name like a normal person on an actual war document ⚔️😘💅*

[calimelontea]

the octotrio with an inkling!reader

❥❥am I splicing my current hyperfixation into a completely unrelated fandom bc the fresh season just recently dropped?? Yes. Is it going to be kinda awkward bc this is my very first fic on this page??? Also yes 👍But man is it gonna be fun to write, so I hope you guys will have just as much fun reading!

❥ the reader falls into this twisted wonderland unannounced and unprepared, but much to the student body's surprise, this new transfer student was... A squid? A kid?? It was anyone's guess, but for now it was decided that you would reside in Octainvinelle, seeing as you were a cephalopod of some sort. How do you fair in the ranks of the fish mafia?

Category- Fluff ☀

Content- semi platonic, Azul Jade and Floyd, you are an inkling from Splatoon

Azul Ashengrotto

══✿══╡°˖✧✿✧˖°╞══✿══

➼When you had first arrived at the dorm's doorstep, he couldn't deny his interest was piqued! Not only was he interested in seeing that squids had evolved their own little subspecies, but he also saw this as the perfect opportunity for profit!

➼A creature that can continuously produce different colored inks?? He's practically seeing dollar signs...

➼No doubt he'll probably ask for a little share of what's in your ink tank, and in return he'll provide you protection and some benefits in the lounge, (albeit some very miniscule ones. Can't lose too much profit, now can we?).

➼But nevertheless, it couldn't be denied that your presence in the lounge had certainly brightened the atmosphere. Now not only can one make shady business deals, but they also get to watch this strange little squid creature run around and obsess over anything it deems "fresh".

➼Eventually though he would begin to warm up to you and see you as a bit more than a walking money bag, especially after the overblot incident. You offered him a helping hand and a friendly smile, even when he was hardly deserving of forgiveness, and he will always be grateful for that (though he will never admit that a loud).

➼He's always sure to keep watch over you, whether it be him in person or the twins, and if someone dares to cause you any trouble... Whew boy, they better hope they can handle a good squeeze.

➼Anytime there's something you want to show him, you'd better believe he's dropping what he's doing to look (within reason ofc), and if you manage to bring him something of extra value, he's sure to praise you and treat you to something from the lounge's menu.

➼Most of your time together is just you dragging him along to look for something fun to do, and although a lot of times he would rather be back at the lounge counting up earnings or advertising new business opportunities, he just can't say no to that face...

➼Overall he'll likely be your safest bet as long as you're willing to sacrifice some ink and maybe your free will 👍

Floyd Leech

══✿══╡°˖✧✿✧˖°╞══✿══

➼When you first arrived, he just thought you were the silliest lil creature! It didn't matter to him if you were human or squid, he just wanted to squeeze you and play with you.

➼And squeeze you he will, you better be watching your back all times of the day bc this man can and will ambush you with the most bone-crushing hug in existence. You don't even have bones and yet you feel the structure of your very being squashed like a water balloon.

➼He takes a liking to you almost immediately out the gate, assigning you the nickname "squidling" since he already nicknamed someone else "squid", and you change colors way too often to assign a colored type of squid.

➼Instead of you dragging him around, now it's his turn to drag you. Will literally snatch you from wherever you are, whether it be your dorm room or even class, and run off to wherever sounds the most fun in the moment. (R.I.P Grim, you're on your own)

➼Literally has 0 idea what you're saying (inklings speak a special kind of language), but will absolutely pretend to know what you mean. Will have an entire full blown conversation with you even if, with context, the conversation doesn't make any sense whatsoever.

➼Likely will go out of his way to get something for you if he believes it's something you'd find "fresh". Mans is gonna come to your dorm with like 20 shiny rocks, some shirts and a thingamabob or two and you're keeping ALL of them.

➼Can and will try to make you swim somehow due to your squid features. It will not go well.

➼You're probably one of the very few people that can pull him out of his bad moods without bribery or blackmail. Legit just start talking to him about anything random and he'll give you one of those legit scary smiles and squeezes onto you like you've just given him the best news of his life.

➼He's a pretty alright option if you don't mind being a caprisun under a hydraulic press. Just... Stay alert.

Jade Leech

══✿══╡°˖✧✿✧˖°╞══✿══

➼Mans is literally scary, why would you pick him???? /j Much like Azul, he's very curious about you when you first arrive in Octainvinelle, but instead of profiting purposes, he more or less wants to study you.

➼He's very curious about what it is that makes you tick. How did squids evolve to produce a specimen like you? Are there more of you? And if so, have your species formed an intricate society? Where does your language originate? Do you have a similar intestinal structure to humans or merfolk???

➼Bro has probably thought about dissecting you at least 40 times and counting, but because it's heavily frowned upon in a school setting, he's decided against poking around in a squid-kid cadaver. For now...

➼Until then though, he ensures he's as hospitable as he possibly can be, while also leaving some room for learning about your unique culture.

➼This means he will likely be one of the very few students to start picking up on your language, as well as understanding your behaviors/mannerisms.

➼It was during these studies of his that you two developed a sort of trade system. You would bring him some wild mushrooms or any plants that look interesting, and in return he will buy you something "fresh" from Sam's shop, with a reasonable price tag ofc.

➼And due to this mutually beneficial system, it didn't take long for the two of you to become good friends. It wouldn't be very often you would see this tall eel man without his tiny squid companion, especially when it comes to his mushroom garden. Congrats, you have entry to the sporehouse 👍

➼This also means you two get to share your special interests with one another. You get to spend time with him creating mini terrariums and growing shrooms, and in return you can teach him how to play turf war (the second he gets the hang of it you will constantly get your ass beat).

➼He's a pretty sound option over time, but you should NEVER be alone with this man with lab equipment. Never trust a man who enjoys clam blitz.

[lanawinterscigarettes]

Random characters with a reader who plays Five Nights at Freddy's

Characters included: Allison Reynolds, Phoebe Buffay, Remy "Thirteen" Hadley, Gomez! Master/Missy

Warnings: gender neutral reader, multiple mentions of the survival horror game Five Nights at Freddy (no spoilers for any of the games though)

A/N: I was finally able to get the fnaf core collection from Walmart that I've been eyeing for like a year and while I've temporarily put aside my Nintendo switch so I won't keep getting the shit scared out of me I decided to write something with some of my favorite characters because a) I want to and b) I can. Is this a niche concept? Yes, but so are all the characters I've chosen for this (and I've only just realized they're all women but I refuse to apologize for it)

Allison Reynolds

She already knew about the game before you told her. In a modern au (which is what this is) she's definitely the weird kid that's obsessed with fnaf, nightcore, creepypasta, etc.

Owns all of the games, including several books and plushies. You're not sure whether they were gifts or if she bought them herself (or if she stole them)

Loves to watch you play, always letting out a small shriek followed by excited giggles whenever you get jumpscared. She's incredibly good, often winning even the most difficult nights on the first try

Watches lore videos and gameplays on YouTube with you while snuggled up in her bed (Matpat and Markiplier are obviously her favorites)

If she knows you have a favorite character she'll go out of her way to get something with them for you. Her favorite character is Marionette/The Puppet

Phoebe Buffay

She saw some of your fnaf stuff and innocently asked what it was from, not knowing your cute little plushies had such a dark backstory

It scares the hell out of her at first, but in a good way. She likes watching you play while cheering you on from the sidelines, occasionally asking questions or swearing at one of the characters when they jumpscare you

Eventually she ends up trying it out for herself, doing surprisingly good from all the times she watched you. Until she ran out of power, that is, and was immediately killed

Probably ends up writing a song about it and singing it at the coffee shop, much to everyone's dismay

"There was once a purple guy who watched children die, they were stuffed in a metal suit and no one knows why-"

Also her favorites are Bonnie and Monty Gator because they play the guitar like her and she automatically thinks they're really cool just because of that

Remy "Thirteen" Hadley

Another ex weird kid who played the games for sure. She's also a champ at them, and will usually give you pointers whenever she watches you play

The type to have serious discussions with you over the lore at any time or place, regardless of whether it's the right environment or not. One time you were talking about it at the hospital during lunch and Kutner overheard. Poor guy was traumatized

Her favorites are Circus Baby and Michael Afton because of how much she strangely relates to them. Springtrap is her worst enemy and she will make it known at any possible time she can bring it up. She hates him so much that whenever she plays the third game it's just her swearing at him the entire time

She also hates Balloon Boy (who doesn't) but it's less of a visceral hatred and more of a "Oh great, this guy again"

Like I said before, she's a champ at them BUT she's also incredibly competitive and will rage quit if she loses more than two times in a row

Gomez! Master/Missy

"Humans are so cute, aren't they? Actively seeking out things that scare them, then acting surprised when they get frightened" <- her exact words when she saw you playing the game for the first time and after you explained it to her

In all honesty, while she does find it cute in a slightly condescending way, she feels like that for pretty much anything humans are interested in, so I wouldn't take it personally

The lore both fascinates and delights her, and she could spend hours listening to you explain it. In fact, I'd go so far as to say she likes that more than the actual games themself

That's not to say that she doesn't enjoy watching you play, because she does. Something about the adrenaline rush and the need to last until six o'clock followed by getting jumpscared out of nowhere is thrilling to her. She might even ask to play herself if she's in a good enough mood, though she will throw a small tantrum if she loses just an FYI

Ballora is her favorite- why? I think it's because of how eery she is. Like, she's somewhat of a mother figure, but there's something off about her. Also it's just the vibes man idk

End notes: sorry for this random fnaf centric post, I just love it so much and needed to integrate it in with my writing

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[vladdyissues]

I bet you know Immortal Husbands AU by ghost-chicky. I suggest to expand it with Omegaverse AU, mentioned in sks before (alpha > omega >> beta), Ghost king AU and space fiction.

According to Immortal Husbands AU, halfas age up to only 30 year, and they have to start new life from time to time. Dani was born in their second life. Vlad and Danny were over-warning her to hide her nature from people while she could be relax with ghosts, so, she's always been close to the Ghost Realm. Their daughter's interest and governmental crazy interruptations to the other world didn't let halfas leave Ghost Zone behind for, at least, one life. It has been becoming clearier that they should take the situation in their hands before it's too late. The best way to regulate relations between ghosts & people is to gain political weight. Danny fought with Pariah again, but that time he erased him. According to Ghost Realm laws, he became new Ghost king.

Not revealing his identity, as Phantom the king he entered into negotiations with the earthly government, the result of which were laws regulating movement between worlds and establishing prohibitions on what people in the Ghost Zone cannot do and what ghosts cannot do in the human world. After 2 decades of negotiations Danny finally returned to his normal life with Vlad. Danny visited the Ghost Zone only for issues that Parliament of Supreme Ghosts couldn't resolve without hime. For those movements Danny got for himself and for Dani artefacts, that works like Wulf's claws.

Yes, Vlad could be jealous for Danny's powers but he would come through it.

Halfas keep hidding their nature from the humanity until XXVI century when aliens find the Earth and give an ultimatim: "Become slaves of our cosmic Empire or your planet will be destroyed".

Of course, people are scared to the death. They still don't have weapons to fight back, they even didn't finish terraforming the Mars! Aliens' slavery includes all biopunk horror you possibly can imagine, no one would agree on it. In these times halfas reveal themselves with the idea how to save the part of the humanity: move a part of the Earth to the Ghsot Realm, and the whole Ghost Zone to the.. strong ecto-box! (Box Ghost: (:D My time has come!) Insane, but… it worked.

By that time Anti-ghost shields and costumes, ecto-filter systems was developed enough (thx to the between-worlds tourism) to people could safely live in the Ghost Zone (even without cancerogenic threat!). People quickly learnt to use ectoplasm as energy source. This is how the Space Era for humans had started. Yes, people keep terraforming the Mars but it took even more time to move on this planet. Until that, people will start a war with that aliens but ex-earthlings' warriors are belong to the race of halfa.

Obviously, halfas fit much more for Space. The only thing they need is an oxygen balloon, and even if it cracked they can easily repair it with ecto-glue or something. But people already has the compact oxygen-generating station. And halfas are dangerous weapons themselves, so, they are the best space warriors. However, only with certain genetic sequences a human able to successfully mutate into a halfa, else you die in pain. Plus, it turned out that only ecto-regulation is so strong that only alpha + omega can have kids. Beta is the most frequent for halfas too. Even if it's male and female, but both betas, they're sterile! This is the price.

VladCo is back! :D But this VladEctoScince now. They speciales on the difficult ecto-technology, and if the tech are made to be used in spaceship/open-space, it's an ecto-construction (all from ectoplasm, handmade by Plasmius). Vlad must change his cape to a medical gown.

Probably Vlad and Danny got a son, too, between 200 y.o. and the last day of Earth. Dani still would the traveller of the Ghost Zone while the boy will live near by parents, and under his parents' shadow since the start of teh Space Era.

The best song for this AU: Unreal — Newtype (there's eng vers).

[iamtotallyfineokay]

Okay so people actually like my previous yandere UCN idea, surprisingly, even one of my fave writers came to comment, so I guess I’ll continue the headcanons I guess. This is just a more detailed in a nutshell version of the previous post. Also thank you for the notes from the previous one, I was really surprised when I checked it! ——————————————————————————————————

As I said before, Yandere UCN is terrifying. In the universe I’m gonna set my Yandere UCN x reader, it’s gonna involve all sorts of animatronics from the whole franchise. Basically it’s Ultimate Custom Night slowly becoming Ultra Custom Night but with only the original and fanmade models. Oh and this might be out of character, so tell me in the notes if I did something wrong!

Part 1

Let’s start with the Classics. I personally think Freddy would be the type to be a gentleman of sorts. He would be glad to sing you a little song if you like, maybe you can also join him as well! Bonnie would definitely play the guitar role for you guys in your songs, since he seems to be a person with a laidback character, where he would kinda prefer to third wheel in a relationship. He enjoys your presence though, as you routinely like to check up on him for some reason. Chica would also be delighted by your presence! She’s sometimes told off by the others for being a bit too childish but you don’t mind it and kind of like it! She’s happy with that, along with Foxy! I think he and Chica would be a common duo who like to compete with others for your attention, with Chica acting as the wingman(girl) to your little relationship with them in UCN, while Foxy is just that slightly nervous kid in the corner who absolutely wants and not want your attention at the same time. He’s just so happy to actually receive attention from you after being neglected in his previous establishment! Golden Bear watches his cohorts enjoy this moment, he’s glad he doesn’t need to constantly give them plans or constantly comfort them, and he also wants some comfort himself through compliments from you!

The Toy animatronics absolutely indulge in your presence, along with the Withereds and Shadows. They all absolutely delight themselves in your presence. For the Toy animatronics, let’s say you played as a night guard in their establishment before you went into UCN. Toy Freddy was always so lonely, sad that he didn’t seem to be as cute as his cohorts sometimes. That is when you arrive! Maybe you even accidentally introduced Toy Freddy to playing arcade games because you couldn’t ‘bear’ how lonely he seems to be sometimes. He even wishes indulge in small tea parties with you in nights when his AI is sent down to one! Toy Bonnie and Toy Chica also seem to be a common duo! They go through the vents and such in UCN. You met them both in their previous game when you may have accidentally lured them to the office through lights! However, when your night is over, you sometimes comment on them being so pretty and adorable! This may have kicked a part of their code aside, but they indulge in you secretly when your night ends, as they prepare for your next night. UCN is where they just get more violent for attention!

Balloon Boy and the Puppet also have something in common: being creepily too ‘human-looking’ to most people. Even Balloon Boy gets comments on his weirdly shaped teeth while the Puppet is commented for their tall and lanky figure. Balloon Boy mainly acts like a child to their parent with you when your friendship becomes closer! He doesn’t steal your batteries in the original game, but he’s more hungry for praise from you in UCN, whereas he would steal more batteries from you, since he was given a deal by Withered Foxy to make the night end faster. Puppet also likes your presence, finding comfort around you as if you’re a warm blanket of mental comfort. For that, they give gifts to you when nights end in UCN, though they may trap you in their box when they win the night by jumpscaring you. Mangle is kind of the same as Puppet, only instead always needing constant praises of validation from you to feel ‘beautiful’. You used to like her so now she’ll return it fully by trying to make you as pretty as her!

The Withereds are like their original counterparts but more aggressive compared to them. Their restless, now feeling upset they don’t get to be on that shining stage anymore. Withered Foxy and Bonnie are the most aggressive of the four, being the first animatronics to turn on during the FNAF 2 game, with the indigo no-faced bunny now needing approval for his hopes to be turned up, while his cohort the red fox pirate, needs attention both physically and mentally to remember his short happy days on stage in his corner. They do team up though when they don’t at least argue for 1 minute, and damn do they made a good duo. Withered Freddy is just like his Classic counterpart, but now more laidback, kind of welcoming the fact his time on stage has reached its end, though he does dream and someday returning to it, and maybe sing along with you. However, not acknowledging his presence gets his temper a bit worked up, making him storm to your office and trying to get to the door. Withered Chica and Golden Bear kind of watch this unfold. Chica watches her male cohorts while she just decides to take things more slowly while maintaining her happy yet slightly now mature personality, hanging out with you during nights when the others have their AI set to 0 or 1, just kind of hanging out like couch potatos. This also applies to Withered Golden Freddy! He’s more tired, having a higher chance to materialise even when his AI’s set to a very low place. He likes to hang out and just chill with you during other nights, sometimes appearing while wrapping an arm around your back. He’s glad your here in this purgatory meant just for you!

The Shadows stay more distant from you. You’re just here, appearing seemingly out of nowhere, at least to them. Though they start to warm up to you, with Shadow Bonnie being the more friendly one of the two, and Shadow Freddy just overall being glad you’re here! Finally someone who they get to talk with who’s not a robot! Though instead, they may trap you in abandoned rooms to spend time with you! Better be careful, these two seemingly a kind of a mind alike! Oh well, what could they say? You’re as sweet as a birthday cake, and boy do they get greedy!

[leprosycock]

I've been wondering! If you dont mind me asking, which of the cults related to which character in the ttwky quiz, and why? Also honestlu any explanation of any of the choices in the quiz would be great, I love hearing and learning about these guys

:D yes!! yes of course!!!

- “pick a cult that interests you the most”

jonestown and the ant hill kids were related to jay because they were both directed and controlled by charismatic but pathetic men who presented themselves as relatable and kind and generous benefactors and they used their perversion of religion and social justice to manipulate and control the people they claimed to love. heaven’s gate and the manson family were related to eva because they were knotted into rat kings through togetherness, common ideas, and a sense of faith and community. a lot of this also involved sexual exploration and discovery of the self and a greater purpose. the children of god and the true russian orthodox church are related to annie because of several self-imposed rules relating to pleasure, indulgence, and family ties. they also heavily toy with ideas of self-harm as a kind of cleansing mechanism and are ridiculously isolated, closing themselves off to ideas and living spaces that keep them safe and comfortable. they have a lot of strange ideas about sex and the body that are impossible for them to let go of because they’re so intrinsically tied to who they are as people.

- “choose the name of a mel bochner painting”

mel bochner is a typographist and his statements are the art itself, so these phrases were just meant to apply to the boys themselves. ‘do i have to draw you a picture?’ and ‘meathead’ were annie because the former is a childish expression of frustration, anger, exhaustion, and rules imposed by small-minded people who mean to control the art world; the latter is a manifestation about self-loathing and hating traits reflected back on oneself. ‘i don’t want to think about it’ and ‘it goes without saying / in other words / talk is cheap’ are jay for somewhat obvious reasons—they’re all avoidance tactics and a reservation from elaboration. a very strict want and need to ignore the worst of his trauma and never unpack it. don’t talk to him. he hates it. eva gets ‘kick against the pricks (blah… blah… blah)’ and ‘money/obscene’ because he fancies himself as a punk and a drag on society for who he is and how he performs and he loves to wallow in that and every bit of attention he can get. he wants to be famous and he wants to be good and he wants to be loved and he wants to be popular and he wants to be a subject of ridicule and hatred because it fuels him and keeps him alive.

- “choose an adult swim show”

jay’s are moral orel and venture bros for. obvious reasons. but just in case you’re unaware they both focus on an emotionally devastated abusive father whose traumatic childhood still affects him and he extends that to not only the people in his life, but his sons as well. annie gets space ghost and aqua teen because they’re both highly surreal and write extremely insensitive jokes and are cheap, cobbled-together shows that present strange characters in strange settings, but are inherently and devastatingly human. eva gets smiling friends and superjail because they’re loud, colorful, attention-grabbing, shrewd, edgy, and tons of fucking fun.

- “what feels good?”

jay (fatherhood):

annie (too-grown-up child):

eva (rotting corpse of a child inside an adult):

- “choose something that flies”

annie is an airplane and a lost balloon. airplane = wanting to escape, balloon = bright fresh young thing that will forever be lost. jay is a mosquito and a jumping cactus because they’re both annoying and dangerous things that plague arizona. eva is a canary and a bat because he’s a free spirit who still longs for companionship and will bite things because it’s just in his nature.

- “choose something gross”

these were all just things that i think each boy hates more than anything else either due to trauma or sensory issues. annie = coleslaw + puddle of pee, jay = the smell of metal on your hands + sticky stain on the counter, eva = wet food in the sink + spiders

- “pick some hentai to read”

annie = Kasetsu Toilet Sanchoume/Brocon!: i won’t explain this one because it contains spoilers

jay = Pet Shop [yaoi]/AS GOD SAYS: both are stories about older people abusing their power and influence in order to attract compliant young boys

eva = Best Friend *woof*/Super-market sweets time!!: you get no points for guessing what the first one is about. the second one is about lolis dressing up as idols and invading a supermarket to seduce older men just looking to buy groceries, which is what he imagines his dynamic with jay to be

- “pick a popular early 00s character”

annie is domo-kun and gloomy bear just because he’s boyish and edgy and emo. jay is happy bunny and spongebob because he is permanently stuck in an era that has long since passed him by and he wants to be loved and clung to. eva is gir and hello kitty because he’s bright and loud and has a ton of different outfits. this one really didn’t have a lot going for it i just kind of pulled it out of my ass

- “choose a place that’s overgrown”

annie is a local park and the woods nearby. they’re childhood spaces that are often not a lot of fun and typically contain a lot of animal and insect life and are rife with poison. jay is the backyard and the basement. a backyard because it’s a staple of a once-lived-in house that is now devastated and gnarled and all evidence of childhood is condemned, and a basement because they’re a staple of new england homes and they’re often dark, damp, unloved, and terrifying. eva is a condemned gas station covered in busted neon lights and old advertisements as well as a playground that is often retreaded by brave kids and arrogant teens looking to start problems.

i’m not going over the “choose a song” one because it’s sooo cringe and i regret putting it in. no one likes that question

but that’s pretty much it!! <333 i hope you found it enlightening 🙂‍↕️

[kipscorner]

Monsters! Feel free to change pronouns, relationship mentions and anything else to match your writing preferences! Part of the list has been put under Read More due to it being a long list!

“Uh... my friends call me Phlegm.”

“Mr.(Mrs/Miss/etc) [Name], can you tell me what you did wrong?” “There is nothing more toxic or deadly than a human child. A single touch could kill you!”

“You can't make me!”

“Yes, it's dangerous work and that's why I need you to be at your best.”

“it's going to be a perfect day to maybe, hey, just lie in bed, sleep in or simply... work out that flab that's hanging over the bed!”

“I don't believe I ordered a wake-up call, [Name].”

“Did you see me? I'm a natural!”

“Hey, wasn't I great? Did the whole family see it?”

“You've been jealous of my good looks since the fourth grade, pal.”

“Big deal. Guy takes five steps and he's there.”

“I told you, call me [Name].”

“We just wanted to wish you good luck today.”

“Quiet! You'II make him lose his focus.”

“Oh, Googley-woogley, you remembered!”

“So, uh... are we going anywhere special tonight?”

“But it's impossible to get a reservation there!”

(singing) “You and me! Me and you! Both of us together!”

“You know, pal, she's the one. That's it. She is the one!”

“Oh, and, uh, thanks for hooking me up with those reservations.”

“Oh, no problem. They're under the name Googley Bear.”

“I wasn't scared. I have... allergies.”

“Do you hear that?It's the winds of change.”

( mocking voice ): ''You hear it? You hear the winds of ch...? –Oh, what a creep. One of these days, I am really... going to let you teach that guy a lesson.”

“[Name], you didn't file your paperwork last night.”

“I'm watching you, [Name]. Always watching.”

“You're the boss! You're the boss! You're the big, hairy boss!”

“She wasn't scared of you?”

“I could've been dead! I could've died!”

“I will personally put you through the shredder!”

“I love working with that big guy.”

“[Name] and I are like brothers.(sisters//siblings/etc)”

“We're just going through a rough time, sir.(ma’am/name/etc) Everyone knows you're going to get us through it.”

“Now, that's my boy(girl,etc)!”

“I've never seen anything like you today. You were on a roll, my man.(girl/etc)”

“So get this-- as if dinner wasn't enough I'm taking her(her/them/etc) to a monster truck rally afterwards.”

“You know, I am so romantic sometimes I think I should just marry myself.”

“'Cause I got to tell you, buddy that face of hers, it just makes my heart go...Yikes!”

“Your stunned silence is very reassuring.”

“Kitty!”

“No, no-- stay back!”

“Oh, [Name], I've had a lot of birthday... well, not a lot of birthdays but this is the best birthday ever.”

“I was just thinking about the first time I laid eye(eyes) on you-- how pretty you looked.”

“What a coincidence, running into you here! Uh, I'm just going to order something to go.”

“Get out of here. You're ruining everything.”

“Please remain calm. This is not a drill.”

“Well, I don't think that date could have gone any worse.”

“Well, a kid flew right over me and blasted a car with its laser vision!”

“I tried to run from it, but it picked me up with its mind powers and shook me like a doll!”

“It is my professional opinion that now is the time to... panic!”

“No, don't touch those, you little...! Oh, now those were alphabetized.”

“It's okay, it's all right. As long as it doesn't come near us we're going to be okay.”

“I have no idea but it would be really great if it didn't do it again.”

“How could I do this? How could I be so stupid?”

“That thing is a killing machine!”

“I bet it's just waiting for us to fall asleep and then wham! Oh, we're easy prey, my friend-- easy prey. We're sitting targets.”

“Using mainly spoons, we dig a tunnel under the city and release it into the wild.”

“That's it, I'm out of ideas. We're closed. Hot air balloon? Too expensive. Giant slingshot? Too conspicuous. Enormous wooden horse? Too Greek!”

“Are you sleepy? You want to sleep? ls that what you want? Huh?” 

“No. Hey, hey, that's my bed! You're going to get your germs all over it. ( sighing ) Fine. My chair is more comfortable anyway.”

“Will you go to sleep?”

“Oh, boy, how do I explain this?”

“How about I sit here, until you fall asleep? Go ahead. Go to sleep. Now. Now... go. Uh, you... go... to... sleep. ( imitating snoring )”

“Really? Well, in that case, let's keep it. I always wanted a pet that could kill me!”

“Is that a joke? Tell me you're joking.”

“[Name], I'd like to think that, given the circumstances I have been extremely forgiving up to now but that is a horrible idea!”

“Don't panic-- we can do this.”

“Actually, that's my, uh, cousin's sister's daughter…”

“That is the weirdest thing you have ever said.”

“That's a cute little dance you've got. It almost looks like you've got to…”

“Where did she go? Oh, did she disappear? Did she turn invisible?”

“[Name], my tender, oozing blossom you're looking fabulous today.Is that a new haircut? Come on, tell me. It's a new haircut, isn't it? That's got to be a new haircut. New makeup? You've had a lift. You've had a tuck. You've had something. Something has been inserted in your skin that makes you look like...”

“Ready or not, here I come! I'm getting warmer! Any second now! Fee fi fo…”

“Don't you think I'm aware of the situation? I was up all night!”

“Yeah, well, until we know for sure we're going to act like nothing happened, understand?”

“You're right, you're right. We're just two regular joes on our way to work. We will blend right in!”

“Very good. Now bon voyage!”

“That's what I decided to call her(him/them). Is there a problem?”

“[Name], you're not supposed to name it. Once you name it, you start getting attached to it!”

“ow put that thing back where it came from, or so help me…!”

“But if it was an inside job I'd put my money on [Third party].”

“( whimpers ) last night was one of the worst nights of my entire life, bar none!”

“Sushi? Sushi?!! You think this is about sushi?!”

“So I said, ''If you talk to me like that again, we're through!''

“Oh, well, hello, there. What's your name?”

“I got us a way out of this mess but we got to hurry.”

“Oh, you're all right! I was so worried! Don't you ever run away from me again, young lady(mnan/etc)! Oh, but I'm so glad you're safe.”

“We're going to get our lives back. The nightmare is over.”

“Okay, first of all, it's cree-tin. If you're going to threaten me do it properly.”

“Well somebody's certainly been a busy bee.”

“I'm sorry, [Name], but [Third party] said I'm not allowed to fraternize with victims of his(her/etc) evil plot.”

“We got to get out of here now! We can start a whole new life somewhere far away!”

“I was going for a snake ninja approach with a little hissing.”

“How many times do I have to tell you? It's all about presence!”

“[Name]? [Name], it's me…”

“[Name]? No, no, no, no. It's okay. I was just…No, no, no, no, no, don't be scared. That wasn't real. It's just a...I was just…”

“Does anyone else know about this?”

“All you had to do was listen to me-- just once! But you didn't, did you? You're still not listening!”

“Welcome to the Himalayas!”

“Snow cone? No, no, no. Don't worry-- it's lemon.”

“Did you see the way she(he/etc)... looked at me?”

“Take my buddy, Bigfoot. When he was banished he fashioned an enormous diaper out of poison ivy. Wore it on his head like a tiara. Called himself King Itchy.”

“Look at that big jerk. Ruined my life, and for what?”

“Wasteland? I think you mean wonderland! I mean, how about all this fabulous snow, huh?”

“Okay, rule number one out here. Always…No.Never go out in a blizzard.”

“None of it matter...Wa-wait a second. None of it matters?”

“So, now the truth comes out, doesn't it?”

“What about everything we ever worked for? Does that matter? Huh?”

“What about me? I'm your pal. I'm... I'm your best friend. Don't I matter?”

“I'm sorry, [Name]. I'm sorry we're stuck out here. I didn't mean for this to happen. But [Third Party]’s in trouble.”

“'Whoa, whoa, whoa. ''We''? No. There's no ''we'' this time, pal. I-if-if you want to go out there and freeze to death you be my guest... because you're on your own.”

“I never should have trusted you with this.”

“Let's get you home.”

“You don't know how long I've wanted to do that, [Name].”

“I was just mad, that's all. I needed some time to think.” “I'm being attacked!”

“No, I'm not attacking you. I'm trying to be honest. Just hear me out. You and I are a team. Nothing is more important than our friendship.”

“If you start crying, I'm going to cry and I'II never get through this. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you but I am now.”

“[Name], I am baring my soul here. The least you could do is pay attention!”

“Somebody's got take care of you, you big hairball!”

“[Name], if you don't tell me what's going on right now, we are through! You hear me? Through!”

“You expect me to believe that pack of lies, [Full name]!”

“Go get 'em, Googley Bear!”

“What a plan-- simple, yet insane!”

“How are we supposed to get to it now? Oh, it's a dead end, [Name]!”

“Hurry up, hurry up! Give me your hand.”

“Jump! I'm behind you!”

“Hurry up! Keep moving!”

“You stupid, pathetic waste!”

“You've been number one for too long, [Name]. Now your time is up!”

“Mama, another gator got in the house!”

“Give me that shovel! Come here!”

“All right, I got a move here. It'II bring down the house.”

“I think we stopped him, [Name]. You're safe now.”

“She's(he’s/etc) seen too much. You both have.”

“Well, I don't know about the rest of you guys but I spotted several big mistakes.”

“Two and a half years of undercover work were almost wasted.”

“What, you mean... you mean, I can't see her(him/etc) again?”

“I bet we get the rest of the day off.”

“Come on, pal, cheer up, we did it!”

“Oh, sure, we put the factory in the toilet, and... gee, hundreds of people will be out of work now. Not to mention the angry mob that'II come after us when there's no more power, but, hey... at least we had some laughs, right?”

“Oh, I love kindergarten. Best three years of my life.”

“[Name], you're such a charmer.”