#huh is my laptop just being really funny about this game

[cobaltfluff]

starting fujieda's route and getting confirmation about the random screen flashes is such a revelation

[perryavenue]

rainjoy Has A New Post. It's Personal

rainjoy is one of my favorite Klaine fanfic authors. Their first Klaine fanfic was published on LiveJournal in 2011, their last in 2021. Health issues have become more intense over time. Their most famous works, All The Other Ghosts and Grey, were published in 2012 and 2013. So those who've joined the fandom fairly recently may not even know about their other fics, the most recent one being from 2021. rainjoy has written Klaine in every genre: high school!Klaine, college!Klaine, married!Klaine, supernatural!Klaine, fantasy!Klaine, and even superhero!Klaine.

Here is a link to rainjoy's works on Live Journal

Here's a link for Dreamwidth

I hope that you'll help boost it by re-blogging. Thanks in advance, @klaineccfanficlibrary and @todaydreambelieversfic

This is rainjoy's post from today (October 27, 2023).

"Hello, I’m still alive.

Hello, I do mean it, hello anybody around to see this, I really hope you’ve been well, I’m sorry I haven’t been around, I *haven’t* been well. But I have, over a course of fucking months, actually written something, so I’m writing *this* here so I don’t need to leave a novel-length author’s note on it, as some kind of explanation of where I’ve been.

Largely, I’ve been in bed, I’m likely going there again after posting this, they need to invent new words for how tired I am so much of the time, my upgraded wheelchair is worth about as much as my *laptop*, my life revolves around Can I? Probably not. and lots and lots and lots of ‘resting’. I’ve not been well, but please don’t worry, I’ve not been unhappy. This is the golden age of being ill, the sheer quantity of stuff out there to amuse the bedbound – I have books and podcasts, all of Netflix, I practically live on Sky: Children of the Light, when I’m too dopey even for that I have Animal Crossing, when I am genuinely such a puddle of not-human lethargy that all I need is for time to pass until I feel just slightly better again I have videos of other people playing video games on YouTube and I’m sorry my darling baby moths I will pick you up and help you every single time but it will never not be funny watching someone go through Eden for the first time on YouTube, it just never will not make me laugh, oh my gods I’m so *sorry* my loves <3

So anyway, there’s all that, that’s where I’ve been, life really does not work out the way you planned it to, huh? Because outside of my bed, I know I have messages and emails and someone got a tattoo?? You got a tattoo and I’m just really sorry I haven’t been in touch, my energy has to be paid out like a miser, if I want to wash my hair then wow the world is really not getting anything else out of me, you know? But I am still here, and I do still love the things I love. I still think all of it is worth it. I think the world is a *lot* of fun, though I bear in mind that still, and always, we live through very frightening and distressing times. Which actually makes me think we need to cling to the things we love *more*, not less, love makes better people of us, when we let it.

So I did watch the new season of Good Omens when it came out, and safe to say I was not impressed, but it did jog in me the memory that didn’t I write a sequel to it? Yes I did, and it involved *all* that blood. But I reread it – it’s like reading a stranger’s writing after so long – and that jogged the memory: Didn’t you start a sequel to *this*?

Yes I did! Two thirds written, actually, hurrah for my past self. The last third took, I don’t know, when did the new season come out, it took that long. I used to sneeze out this sort of thing. This, now, is getting at my arms, it’ll be another lie down soon. But anyway, the point of all this: I live yet. In the next few days I *hope* I will be formatting and posting a sequel to But Thou Readst Black because of course everyone wants *that* back in their heads again, my gods. And I hope hope hope you’ve been well, I do think of people while I’m stuck doing nothing but pooling my brain out of my ears on YouTube. Look after yourselves, take care of each other, my gods you tattooed yourself I mean more power to you but it alarms me when things I make turn out to be *permanent*, you know? It feels like I barely touch the world anymore, my circumference has become so small, but it makes the world seem only more precious. Take good care of it, and of yourself as part of it. And very, very much love, to anyone remaining to see this, much love <3"

[the-chronicles-of-a-bookworm]

you met meguru for the first time when you went to your usual coffee shop for your regular when you see a new worker there. to be honest, what really brought your attention to him were his eyes. they were intense and beautiful. your first thought was:

"damn, he's pretty."

it was almost cliché how the cafe was empty and his co-worker went out for his lunch break. it was almost like it was only you and him (except for the two people on their laptops, not minding anything going on around them.)

you walk over to the counter and meguru turns around to take your order. his first thought when he saw you was:

"damn, she's pretty."

you guys started talking to each other. you, a random stranger who walked into the coffee shop. and meguru, a high schooler who just felt like working a part-time job because he needed to buy new cleats.

you placed your order and slowly, your relationship developed. you always came in during his shifts and he would always make sure he would help his co-worker so he would leave for his lunch break when you come in.

you talked about school, family, funny or memorable things that happened during the day or sometimes just, basking in the peaceful silence. you'd sit near the counter, so you could be closer to him. (meguru, however, would randomly break the silence by making weird noises. his usual one being cat meows.)

today, however, was not the best of days. one, the shop was crowded, and all the seats next to the counter was taken. so you had to sit at a table at the back of the shop. you could see meguru and his co-worker struggling to make sure all the orders would be ready. you felt bad putting your own order, but to be honest, you didn't think you could go another moment without your shot of caffeine. you could already feel a headache coming up.

meguru flashed you a grin before telling you to go back and sit and that he'd come and give you your coffee when he was done making it.

"hi there. he's your coffee and your 3 packets of sugar."

exactly like you ordered it.

"i didn't think they give you your coffee with the sugar packets.", you teased.

two can play that game, he thought.

"a special customer deserves special treatment, don't they?" he winked.

he winked and walked away. he winked that annoyingly beautiful wink of his and walked away.

the tension. the tension between you both was so thick that you could cut it with a metal ruler. 

you quietly sipped your coffee, and that’s exactly when meguru decided to bump into your hand, making you spill a few drops of your drink.

“great. thank you so much for spilling this for me.” you said, slightly sarcastically, but you couldn’t really stop the smile from reaching your eyes because what’s better than seeing your crush barista holding your favorite dessert?

“well sorry about that. you do have some napkins, so i believe i made your cleaning process much easier.” he nodded towards the napkins.

“such a good barista, and didn’t the sign say that customer satisfaction for guaranteed?” you muttered.

you picked up a napkin and there it was. meguru bachira’s number. you stared at it for a whole minute, and you could just see meguru’s smirk. without skipping a beat, you took the same napkin with the number on it, and wiped the coffee off the table, successfully smearing the number.

“oops. guess i can’t call you, huh?”

the look of pure surprise on his face was almost comical, and followed by the sputters was even better.

“i hate you. you don’t deserve customer satisfaction.” he pouted and said.

you noted that there was no real malice behind it.

you giggled before winking at him. you took a bite of your almond croissant and smiled.

“at least the croissant is good.” you grinned.

“i’ll make sure i’ll never heat it up again then. you know how hard it is to control the knob on the microwave yet i still do it for you. you’re so mean, you know?”

that pout added more years to my life, you thought.

“sorry meguru. maybe shoot your shot tomorrow?”

“yeah, yeah sure. shoot my shot, my ass. i’ll not heat up your croissant. then we’ll see who’ll shoot their shot.” he pouted before walking back to the counter.

little did meguru know that you had memorized his number and that he’ll be getting a call tonight.

[keystone8379]

Have any KF2 players actually listened to the lyrics of Belial's theme?

Regarding Kirby Fighters 2, back in the game's prime, we had these little joke teams, parodies of Liquid, TSM, FaZe, stuff like that. The first of these were Kracko Sunday, started by Fish wishing everyone a happy Kracko Sunday...every Sunday. I can't remember if there was some items tournament that was related to Kracko Sunday, but I know Fishie Funnies was after Kracko Sunday was first mentioned.

You'll have to excuse me because it's been a long ass time since this happened, but at some point after this, some people start putting KS before their name as a team name. Eventually, Fish runs their items tourney, Fishie Funnies. It was an extremely goofy tournament but it had a few cool clips with items and combos into Gigavolt's slams. You can watch a highlights video here, but be warned, there will be name mispronunciations, I have my terrible old username, and everyone who isn't he/him gets misgendered. (He would be a perfect co-comm for Mew2King...)

I forgot me and biM played our whole set on Gigavolt, that shit goes hard. I also forgot how much I didn't like GM's editing style back then, no clue why I took his advice when I was making the New Generation trailer. But I digress. The gigavolt clips, and the fact that the tourney was on a Saturday, led to the eventual birth of a second KF2 squad, Gigavolt Saturday.

I remember leading a big push on Gigavolt Saturday as the "opposing squad" against Kracko Sunday, mostly just to annoy Fish. Even now, 3 years later, I still do many things specifically to clown on fish. There were a ton of other joke squads as well, such as GR, for Get Real, based on a clip where Qwertz gets knowledge checked by an Artist as Water, or JUM, based on Celica's iconic line: "go jum".

I need to make a post about New Generation at some point huh.

Regardless, this brings us back to the title of this post. One day, fish obtains Granblue Fantasy Versus and offers to play it with KF2 people over Parsec. I didn't know much about the game, except from YouTube thumbnails I've seen, showing Belial as a very good character. Prior to this offer, I had looked up Belial on Dustloop Wiki to see what the fuss is about and, honestly, it was one of my favourite character designs I had ever seen. The bizarre twist on the shoto archetype really stood out to me, especially that fireball, being able to change it's direction suddenly is so cool.

So I've never played GBVS but I know how a bnb is structured, and I know what Belial's buttons do, so me and fish play a bunch of games (Belial v Metera) and as I accumulate wins, fish gets tilted as FUCK. Not only can my fireballs catch jumps and spotdodges with a read, (would be on reaction if not for parsec delay) not only can my counter put me right next to fish after catching one of their projectiles, not only is the character and their theme song a walking sex joke, but eventually Schmee comes in and, on my suggestion, ALSO starts playing Belial.

The next day, Schmee makes this edit of Belial holding a sprite cranberry, based of a current emote in the server of Magolor holding a sprite cranberry (made by the GOAT P47) and it's beautiful.

OH, this reminds me, Belial also led to the founding bit for one of CE's longest running in-jokes, powerpoints for new characters!

I decide to type up this super cool moveset for porting Belial's moves into KF2, which is still pinned in the fishselfie-discussion channel, formerly called labbing-discussion but then no one used it. You can check it out right here: https://docs.google.com/document/d/16ZN7Hy69QASnfSi7CYmp2V0GKp8tEuLTisV6V_A_uGQ/edit

So this leads us to the present day. GameMaker Studio 2 had become free recently and I had it sitting on my laptop. I already had a pretty fulfilling winter break, I spent time with friends, pushed out a massive Smash Tactics update, but I still had more time. I finally decided to stop thinking about learning GMS and actually started learning GMS. I started out with a fairly simple bullet hell I was calling "baby's first touhou" in which you would move a player, avoid shots from a boss character, then shoot back at the boss. I thought using Belial Cranberry would be funny, but the actual emote was a tiny image because it was an emote. Fortunately, Belial's new key art for GBVSR was PERFECT for holding a sprite cranberry. So for about 2 days, I got to work on making a bunch of attacks, fixing many crashes, and adding a bunch of other stuff like sound effects. Eventually, I ended up with a finished product: Maiden and Cranberry!

Not included in this video is the 'bruh' sound effect when you die. Also, that "wow" voice clip isn't text to speech, it's an actual in-game voice clip. I want to do other things, just simple games to start, but you all know I'm ambitious. There's a lot of things I want to learn to do, and there's a lot of things to learn with programming. It's crazy, there's so much that goes into a game that you never think about until you're actually making it. I'm going to keep messing around with GMS2, and one day, I'm going to be able to make all of that.

[elecalice]

Something happy for this blog.

I remember as a kid I liked fighting games. One of my first games that I played in my life was Pocket Fighter on the PSX. I remember also enjoying the Marvel VS Capcom games, like 1 and especially 3. (I remember Zero being playable being one of the reasons I got into Mega Man again and sticking with it as THE my biggest special interest to this day)

But I haven't played that much fighting games after that. I was casual about it.

Never played KoF even if one of my DA friends, Ridley, did really funny KoF comics. But I remember being embarassed by my interpretations of Kyo and Iori. (But I was on puberty, early teens, at that time. So, eh) I couldn't think well of KoF without remembering those embarassing first ideas.

2016, thanks to a currently-former friend, I learned about Fightcade on it's first version. We played games like the one of Capcom's D&D games and Puzzle Bobble.

And at a Discord server related to a group of Spanish-Speaking Youtubers, I played against someone on Fightcade who was more into fighting games. It was my first time playing Garou and KoF 2003, as well as other games. In Garou, I remember loving playing as Hotaru, and my opponent hating her. (Lol)

While in KoF 2003, I don't remember my teams, I think I remember one of the characters that I played being as Hinako. (I wish to meet that guy again, but I got kicked by the server due to my inactivity, which is understandable)

I didn't remember those plays until I checked my account's record and... Yeah! But I lost all of those games. (Lol)

It was this year that I watched Thorgi's Arcade's videos. I think the first video was between the Mega Man Fighters one or the Unused Street Fighter characters. And I really loved those videos. They're fun, interesting ideas, and I'll admit, I want to create a Battle Network fighting game. I even choose some characters for it.

Then I binge-watched his SNK retrospesctive videos, Fatal Fury and ESPECIALLY the King of Fighters retrospective videos. I loved those videos. Now my inner shame towards KoF left, now I think about KoF positively. I know more about the games, the characters... I think I should play those games. (And Return to Garou. Rock is SO cool!)

Then I watched more of his Build the Roster videos, and then his first part about Street Fighter Retrospective. I LOVED the video.

And I'll admit, I initially fell for Vega. But, this is a funny anecdote in retrospective. I saw fanart of him with Remy. I was like "Huh? Remy? I need to check about him" and I was mesmerized by this angry edgy frenchboi. I prefer Remy over Vega, I think that's cool... And It kinda sucks because Remy's is a "Either you love him or you hate him" character, as well as being forgotten by Capcom and the SF fans. Oof... But yeah! I said it! I love this angy frenchboi! If you have a problem with me, then fight me! In Fightcade (?

But yeah. After that, I waited and even showed up on the next parts since premiere. And yes, I was SO happy when the III's part was about to premiere, that I RUSHED to buy snacks and go back to enjoy the video on premiere.

Yes. I became fixated on Street Fighter at that level. I love the characters, I love me some fun characters.

I tried 3rd Strike. Played the Arcade run offline. I wanted to play as Remy, but I thought Makoto would be a easy entry. I was wrong. But eh, Makoto's cool. I like Makoto.

Then I had the inner confidence to play as Remy. I needed to get used to the controls (And configure the best position. Did I mention that I play with a KEYBOARD? Thankfully not the laptop one) and yeah. I love playing as Remy! Not only because of my Comfort Character/Husbando bias. But because he's just fun and I like his playstyle. I completed the arcade run better with him compared to my previous run as Makoto.

And accidentally I played as Alex with remaining credit. He was fun to play, and I fought him against Remy, which is poetic-ly ironic and funny. But didn't completed the run because I wanted to stop playing.

When my friend visited my house, I decided to show the game, and I decided to play as Elena SA1. He choose which character I should fight against. And damn, I was good with Elena! And I'm okay with, because I love Elena! She's so cute and motivating!

So yeah, I'll be maining Remy and Elena! And I think that's funny as well, because both characters are complete opposites of each other. Really worthy of memes.

But yeah, I haven't fought someone on Fightcade because I don't feel ready yet. Also again, I'm more of a casual player.

Meanwhile, Remy helped me to get better on drawing anatomy, more variation on it. Like muscles, head shape, I need to get better on drawing. I want to learn more about muscles and more dimensions, so that I can draw more characters with varied body forms. Remy's a good start, because his body is like the usuals that I mostly draw. Then I'll try to progress with other characters. I want to draw Alex eventually.

So yeah! Fighting games can be useful for me to get better!

I love fighting game characters! I REALLY love characters and their varied ways they can express themselves!

I love the variaty in fighting games! I mean, Street Fighter's fun! KoF is fun!

I wish to get more into fighting games! I wish to draw more fanart of fighting games! Or at least the ones that I like. Like Street Fighter and Cyberbots. I love Cyberbots.

So yeah! Positivity!

If you want to get into fighting games, go ahead!

Check for games that you're interested to try! Check those games, select a character that looks cool for you, and try to play. Initially it's confusing. But then you learn how to experiment and play with your character. After a while, your gameplay will make sense. Or just have fun, which is the most important part, after all.

Fighting games can be intimidating, especially if you watch FGC footage done by people who are so good on their plays. But, take it as motivation! Like "Woah. I want to try that.".

If a game is not for you, that's okay! Try to check another one!

If fighting games in general are not for you, that's also okay!

The most important part of playing, is to have fun! Don't pressure yourself to get better. Get better because you want to be better.

...That's surprisingly motivational. Huh.

But yeah. Fighting games are cool. And I want to play more. (But I need to get my life together first)

[kinetic-elaboration]

February 9: Hackers

Finally watched Hackers for the first time and aaaaaaah it is so good. I had heard it was good but I wasn’t really sure otherwise what to expect, and honestly my immediate reason to watch it was to see the outfits and Matthew Lillard (in his Outfits) being deranged. But it really drew me in just about every respect.

It did feel a little long to me but not necessarily in a bad way, more in a ‘there is a lot going on here.’ It didn’t drag but it had a lot of story. Also, I started watching kind of late and my stream of it was a little wonky so I had to pause it with some frequency to get it to stop skipping, which made it longer. My only other sort of complaint is they really just abandoned Phreak in jail, huh? I mean presumably he was let out at the end but we never see that happen, and he also presumably was not out on bail (…racism?), which meant he wasn’t even allowed to be part of the big climactic scene. That felt sort of sad because he had been a significant character before then.

But—these are quibbles honestly! I really, really loved it. So well cast, such great costumes. I loved Dade’s mom and his relationship with her. I don’t know what I was expecting necessarily but definitely not that, not for her to be both so supportive and so funny. You love to see it. And I also really liked Dade, how he was clearly very talented but he wasn’t the MOST talented, he wasn’t like the savior or the main genius among all geniuses. He was significant to the final hack but he wasn’t the one to bring it all home. He clearly did have next level skills but there also wasn’t any indication he’d actually broken parole, which is to say he’d been out of the game for years. That’s smart story telling because it allows him to be an audience surrogate to learn things (not vocab per se—that’s Margo) but the NYC Hacker scene, but I also think it would be tempting to still have him be magically, inherently, naturally, heroically better than the rest despite his disadvantages. To have it both ways in a sense. Like I really thought he would win the contest against Burn if for no other reason than to get them on a date, and maybe also to make it clear that, you know, she’s good, but she’s no Male Protagonist. I would say that it was really a tie, though. She says he was declared the winner at the end but before the contest was really even over she was changing the game: not betting the date but betting the dress code. (He should have been wearing a dress in the last scene though.)

He was also just generally really sympathetic, I thought. Maybe I was expecting too much Mr. Robot lol (and there were parts that reminded me of Mr. Robot, especially when all the hackers got together) but he was… a pretty normal kid, and his weaknesses were the intensely relatable ‘new kid in school can’t find the office’ and ‘teenage boy thinks teenage girl is pretty.’ He wasn’t nerdy but he wasn’t cool; he fit in with this subculture pretty easily, but he didn’t dominate within it.

 And it was so 90s… but not in a dated way, honestly. I kind of was expecting it to be in some sort of inevitable way, not just because it was made in the mid-90s but because it was about something so cutting edge at the time, but it was totally immersive. I wasn’t thinking ‘oh how 90s’ very often and never in a bad way. It’s aesthetically over its time but I like things like that, that don’t try to be timeless because that generally means generic. Also generic things can become dated too and then it’s all that work to be bland for nothing. I was pretty young when this movie came out so I don’t personally remember computers of this era very well—we did have one in ’95 but it wasn’t a laptop and I, personally, a first grader (?) was not exactly the one using it. But I remember, you know, more of that more general era than Kids These Days would for sure. So it was sort of a weird combination of familiar but old-school tech, like the floppy disks, and before-my-time tech like the laptops and a lot of the interface. I used dialup for a long time but I guess I’ve blacked that all out because it took me a sadly long time to figure out why they were always congregating around pay phones—duh, because they needed the phone lines lol.

I liked the balance between the Big Storyline, which was fun and decently suspenseful and had a satisfying conclusion, and the more lowkey, let’s fuck around and hang out with these kids and explore their specific subculture. It was good at combining the two also, like the content to annoy the Secret Service agent: that’s part of the larger story line in a tangential way and it’s important for the character development/romance of Crash and Burn, but it was also pretty clearly just an excuse for some fun hacking mini-adventures.

Anyway, I loved it a lot. I could see myself watching it repeatedly for sure.

[suckitsurveys]

When was the last time you got more then eight hours of sleep? AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA good one. That’s really funny, you should write for SNL.

Do you find that people don’t really understand you? Blah. Is there anyone in your life that you wish you were closer to? I wish my sister actually liked me.

Would you say you are a gullible person? Eh.

Are you one to swear often? I do tend to swear a lot, yeah.

Have you ever sat down and played video games all day? Not really.

What is one thing in your life that is no longer there, that you miss? Blah.

What do you believe is the best thing about being a kid? No major life-altering responsibilities.

What flavor Dum-Dum is your favorite? Root Beer.

What is the last book you read/are reading? Did you/are you enjoying it? --

Are you on a laptop or a desktop right now? A desktop at work.

If you could go anywhere right now, where would you go; why? I really wanna go to a beach resort with all expenses paid.

Have you ever trusted someone you wish you wouldn’t have? Yeah.

Have you ever been on a picnic? Sure.

Which is better tea or coffee? I enjoy both.

Do you own an umbrella? Yeah.

Do you like the ocean? I love the ocean.

Is there anyone that you wish you were with right now? I wish my coworker was here to help me get through these emails. I say as I am doing surveys instead of working, hahahahaha.

Who was the last person you hung out with? My husband and his brother.

What animal cracker is your favorite? Uh, I didn’t a particular favorite.

Is there anything you’re currently holding back? Yeah. I need to tell my sister how I’m feeling but I also don’t fucking want to.

Do you like your smile? No.

Have you ever watched something on the TV that truly disturbed you? Yeah.

Are you scared of needles? No.

Is your current cell phone out of date? I suppose technically.

Have you ever drank milk when it was spoiled? Yeah.

Would you/have you ever bought a gym membership? I have one.

Have you ever bought anything on the TV? Nope.

Have you ever done something that you knew was wrong? Sure.

Do you know what all the keys on your keyboard do? Nope lol.

What is the last channel you were on, when watching TV? I haven’t watched a legit channel in AGES.

What is your favorite restaurant? Any place that has sushi.

What is the last thing you spent money on? Gas.

Do you know of anyone who hates you? Pretty sure my brother in law does and I don’t fucking give a shit because I hate him too, more than anything on the face of this god forsaken earth.

Lose your arm or your leg; Which do you choose? I’d like to keep my limbs, thanks.

Has an animal ever bit you? Yes. I’ve been bitten by a dog. Also my cats bite playfully too sometimes.

Have you ever tripped over your own feet? Yeah.

Do you ever take out the garbage? Yes.

Do wash your face thoroughly everyday? Yeah. Doesn’t seem to fucking do anything though.

Would you ever do a ride along with a cop? ACAB.

Are things, in your opinion, overly expensive these days? Uh huh.

Where was your last car ride to? Work.

Are your nails long? Yes.

Have you ever gotten food poisoning? I don’t believe so.

Have you ever had to put a dog to sleep? I wasn’t there when it happened but yeah.

What messenger services do you use? Just FB and text.

Have you ever lost someone important to you? Yes.

Are you listening to music currently? No.

[babybadger]

What about an imagine where you are Daniels girlfriend and you are also part of the media team at McLaren and you do a video with him where you show him imagines from Tumblr and Wattpad.

Now this is simply hilarious. I knew I had to write this now. Thank you for requesting :) P.S not really smut but gets suggestive towards the end x

Reading Fanfiction

As soon as Daniel had decided to sign with McLaren he knew that you would need a job in England to to occupy your time while he was at the factory. He very quickly got you a job in the media team. It also just so happened that the woman who was supposed to be head of his marketing team had to go on maternity leave the following month and you were fresh meat with the team. Everyone had seen how crazy Daniel could be in the media and who bets to handle that than his very own girlfriend. You already got headaches from him anyway.

Today as Daniel entered the marketing rooms of MTC, you were already sitting there with some of your colleagues having a chat and a coffee. "Well hello there Mrs" Daniel says in a horrific Southern American accent. "I heard you were looking for a tough hunk to woo the ladies online with and here I am" he says gesturing towards his body. You turn back to your friends and role your eyes before saying "excuse my embarrassment of a boyfriend for being late, he was most likely repeating that to perfection in the mirror this morning. Weren't you babe?" Two can play at the unprofessional game. "Only for you sweet baby" He smiles wrapping his arms around you and trapping you in a bone crushing hug.

"Right Dan lets get this over with. Actually I think we'll do this video today." You say laughing mischievously and pointing to your laptop screen while your colleagues laughed and agreed. "What's so funny huh joker" Daniel asks as you stand up and peck his cheek before guiding him down behind the laptop and squeezing his shoulders from behind. "Okay so introduce yourself and just say today we are going to read some fan posts. Then begin on the first tab and read them through till tab 5, do NOT read tab 6, that's for later. Got it?" You directed him about. God you were so sexy when you ordered him about when you were working. Daniel just smirked at you and nodded in agreement.

"Hi guys tis I Daniel Ricciardo and today we are here at the beautiful M to the T to the C and I'm gonna read some fan posts from all our beautiful supporters out there. Let me know in the comments if any of these are from you and yeah lets get straight into the first one." You had to hold back a chuckle when he said about the commenting, knowing most people wouldn't own up to it. You watched as Daniel's eyes took a trip across the screen before landing back on yours behind the camera. "Are you serious right now? You want me to read 'Daniel soothes you to sleep part 2' to the world?" Staring at you he's unsure if you're playing with him again or if this is actually a video McLaren have approved. "Even Andreas said it would be funny now carry on."

Daniel was so overwhelmed by the time he got to the 5th one he was so confused. "Okay so this is the last story I've read about myself that's not actually about myself and it's honestly quite accurate. I have many a time had to take my girlfriends makeup off her drunk as a skunk face and put her in pjs before tucking her into my warm king size bed so whoever wrote this does get me on like a deeper level." You looked at him with a face like thunder. "Really Daniel?" "Hey I didn't pick the stories you did." Once again you role your eyes but end it with a chuckle. Okay for the outro can you just give your overall opinion of the fictions and obviously be nice and appreciative of the fans. Thank you kindly" You direct before looking back at your paperwork. "Wow so they were some interesting reads guys, It was interesting to see how the fans perceive me and at least in all of there I'm either the strong protective guy or the kind supportive boyfriend and you know what I'll take both of them. Thank you to all the fans who spend their time helping other immense in the world of Danny Ric but for now it's kind, protective, strong loving boyfriend over and out" He finishes the video.

Later on you and Daniel are at home getting ready for bed. You're in the bathroom finishing your skincare and he's lying on his phone laughing at the medias group chat talking about today's video pinging on your phone as you let him read it to you. "Oh yeah Y/N you never told me what was on tab 6." You giggle and walk through into the bedroom. "Open up my phone its on there too." You blush as you get into bed.

"Daniel Ricciardo is definitely the most attentive boyfriend. He gives flowers and hugs you all day long. He would look after you so well if you were sick or feeling crampy. He would make you laugh all day long. Don't even get me started on the bedroom. This man practically created the clit with how well he knows how to use it. Y/N is so lucky. I rest my case"

Daniel reads out loud and looks over at you kneeling on the bed beside him blushing. "The others were fiction but this one seemed a bit too true. I love you" You said quietly as his hand stroked up and down your thigh. "Babe" Daniel smirks making you look up at him from staring at his slow moving hand. "I think its time I check on my most marvellous creation" You let out a squeal as he pulls you down onto the bed and laugh as he begins to kiss you. You’re not sure if there actually is a difference between real or fiction daniel, because both knew exactly what they were doing

[sheep-from-rad]

Hi ive been reading most if not all of your sagau fics and i am just-- omg theyre all sO GOOD

I do have a thought that popped up in my head and i havent seen like, literally anywhere--what would happen if god/creator/whatever they are!reader plays co-op?

Just like--them hanging out with their pals on genshin and fucking around by all being childes and going to fight childe or something AHAHA

Or like--the shenanigans that the co-op people would do and what the characters would think!!

Co-op is such a great concept for sagau and id love to see your take on it!! :DD

I love your stuff by the way, theyre all amazing!! I hope you have a great day!!!!!

SAGAU: Co-op Shenanigans Note: I had fun writing this. Genshin is still installing on my laptop and I can't play. I already miss doing a long walk from Liyue harbour to Qingce Village just to get bamboo shoots and resources on the way. As per usual requests are open 24/7. Warnings: OOC ps. I have no clue what I was thinking while writing this. This is based on the people that I have encountered so far. 

So SAGAU x Co-op huh? slaps game BOY I CAN FIT SO MANY INCOHERENT IDEAS IN THIS

You know the first thing that comes to mind when it comes to co-op and it is not the shock SAGAU characters might experience in co-op you know why? Because to live in Tevyat is to expect the unexpected and the things that are out of logic. There's a man pretending to be an adepti, exorcizing spirit and now the spirits are disturbed and want to hurt people? Just another thursday. A dragon visiting the grassy plains before flying again somewhere? He doesn't bite, just don't disturb him. Twins from another world suddenly end up in Teyvat with one being missing and the other solving people's problems and then people selected are suddenly becoming self-aware that they are being controlled by a person called player who lives in another dimension and now people are entering Teyvat with copies of themselves? Huh, that's a lot to take in. 

Character reactions to 'them' that came from co-op varies but most of them goes 'oh my god, is this who we are? Is this what we represent?' 

Childe originally just wanted to observe the other Childe that enters the world but all of the observation was compressed when he saw three Childes entering trying to find Zhongli and flirting with the player. The mains are so out of control and literally asked the player to enter the golden house to fight him. He admits that it was fun and it was really funny watching the other Childes get confused on who's the enemy in the first phase. 

Zhongli is just confused about the other Zhonglis that enter the game. He mentally praises them for being good protectors to other players but he can’t understand why they always look lost and if not lost, distracted. He followed the player once in secret while co-op was happening and there he found a Childe circling a Zhongli and the Zhongli in question suddenly just went around for no reason. 

Beidou found the others amusing. Mommy Beidou? Really?  The uncrowned lord of the seas didn’t know people were thirsty over her. If their co-op versions are self-aware, maybe she’ll treat them for a drink. 

Hu Tao finds it hilarious. Four Hu Tao fighting mobs in low health is fun but three Hu Tao chasing one Qiqi is funner. Too bad it’s not the self-aware Qiqi. The self-aware zombie child on the other hand escaped town and hid in Qingce for a while. 

Albedo finds Albedo mains a little funny. They are either ‘wholesome’ as what the player said or a plain menace. Since he’s not entirely sure if the Teyvat where the co-op version of them came from is self-aware, his brain just kept on thinking what if in the other world there’s a version of his prototype as well? WHAT IF THE CO-OP WORLD IS MADE BY GOLD AND WHAT IF THEIR CO-OP SELVES ARE JUST CHALK LIKE HIM? 

Ps. he spent months in the lab because of that and it took Paimon’s nagging for him to come out. 

While it was all fun and games to others (unless you’re Diluc or Childe who are studying his co-op self and seeing how they can improve) to the traveller it was an attack on nostalgia and longing. They weren't self-aware when the game just started and seeing their sibling being the main in the co-op made them realise that them being separated was not  by accident but fate. 

It is fate that one of them will be helping the abyss and one of them is helping Teyvat and they can’t do anything about it. It was a stab in the chest and the wound never healed. They can’t have their sibling on their side because as far as they know their journey isn’t over yet. Co-op is a chaotic experience but they are glad it can provide a little happiness by seeing their estranged sibling. 

Taglists: @chihawari @eccedentesiast-sapphic @zurithegalaxywolf

[ashestospace-fics]

Greedy for you

Characters: Mammon x MaleReader

Warning: E/NSFW

Minors dni or I'll personally call your parents

Tags: TopReader,praising kink, Mammon being a little bratty, dry humping, demonic female and Male genetelia description and penetration

It was frustrating, Mammon felt like he was going to combust at any moment as he watched you with cross arms and a pout. It's been like this for almost a whole week, the rest of his brothers have been sweeping you away and taking you away from him. He couldn't spend five minutes without someone interrupted and he felt like throwing a fit, he wanted your attention! He wanted you to cuddle him and pay attention to only him. After all, he's your first pact, your first man, he clearly more important and comes first than the rest. So why are you spending more time with Levi than him right now?!

He just happens to be looking for you, not finding you in your room already this late at night. He was in the search until he heard your voice downstairs in one of the living rooms. He peeks slowly, spotting you with the 3rd brother setting the t.v, both of you talking about one of Levi's many animes as he let you do the fixing. Head duck down behind the t.v as you turn it on. Mammon almost wanted to pull you down the legs and drag you out when you lifted your shirt to whip the sweat out of your face, causing both demons to blush slightly at the sudden expose skin. What was enough to tic the Greedy demon off was that you wink back at Levi when you notice him blushing. Now he just HAD to intervene.

"OI! human! Get up!" He exclaims as he darted over to you. Grabbing you by the arm and pulling you up to the ground.

"Wow, okay, what is it now Mammon?" You blurt out seeing his frustrated expression.

He slams the door behind you, letting go of your wrist to flop down on your bed as he stretches his whole body over. A huff leaving him as he threw his arms around like a fish out of water frustrated as he felt your eyes on you.

"Hey wait a minute! He's helping me out here for game night" Levi exclaim backed.

"don't care, later Nerd" Mammon practically dragged you out the living room by the shirt. You could only mouth a 'Sorry I'll see you later' to Levi as you got dragged away. The whole way back to your room Mammon refuse to respond to you. Mumbling to himself who knows what, that just kept you, even more, confused at his sudden behavior.

"well are you gonna keep gawking like a fish or you gonna tell me what's up?" You casually responded as you made your way over to him. He stops thrashing around as he looked up at you with a frown.

"It's late and I need ya" he blurts out tugging your arm.

".....you haven't been spending time with me..." He mumbled out, his eyebrow twitch as he sat up pointing at you. "So I demand you to watch a movie with me! Right now on your shitty laptop", you blink a few times as you stare at him, a small sigh leaving your lips as you made your way into the bed as you drag your laptop out of your nightstand. You knew you weren't paying much attention to him this week, so it didn't surprise you he was throwing a fit.

"Alright, alright, no need to be acting like a brat. You should have just told me how you were feeling sooner" you replied, opening the laptop as you sat behind your pile of pillows. He just pouted at you, his cheeks turning light red once you patted your lap. Mammon didn't think twice as he crawls over to you, making a home between your thighs as he brought your blankets up to cover both of you.

A satisfied smile dance on his lips as he snuggled closer to your chest. One of your legs moving over his as you wrap your arms around his waist as you lean back. Soon enough whatever bickering remark he had to try arguing with you faded away at your warmth. A deep sigh left him as he presses his ear against your chest as his eyes focus on the movie. This is just what he wanted, you all of himself wrap around your arms secure and safe. None of his brothers around, no silly business, just the sound of your heart and breathing and the occasional laughter from your deep voice from a funny scene on screen. It was just perfect, that is until his other sense became hyper-aware of other things.

Sure it's been simply a week since you two hang out properly, but it's been way longer since you two slept together. Mammon really couldn't help feeling needy at the sudden thought of you pinning him down, stuffing him full. He could feel his cheeks heat up as he shifted on his spot. Bitting down his lip as he tried taking his attention back to the screen. The feeling of your crotch right against his ass now a bit more noticeable than when you two started the movie.

But hell how could he? Every gentle caress of his side from your large fingers, a simple innocent touch was stirring him up so easily. Mammon couldn't help it, he couldn't help moving his hips up and down so slowly against you. His hand holding into your thigh as he could feel your length against the fabric of your sweat pants. The idea of getting caught now and question only started to fueled in his arousal and threw away any little care he had from just spending quiet time with you. Now his head was aiming for something much more, greedy little devil wanted something much more now.

Your own eyes had already left the screen as soon as Mammon started shifted on top of you. The slow grind of his ass against you now having your complete attention as you pretended not to notice yet. Your free hand reaching over to munch away on some candy you had in a bowl. The other hand that was on his side trail under his shirt and hold into his waist. A shaky breath passes Mammon's lips as he grinded back harder against your half-hardened cock. The low chuckle that left your throat made him look up with flush cheeks. You pop another piece of candy into your lips.

"greedy little boy are you? You want me so bad for yourself today huh?" You laugh even more as he turns around to smack your chest. Embarrassment running all over his face as he straddles your hips as he pouted at you.

"Don't blame me! You have been spending time with those losers instead of me!" He protested. You only smile innocently at his pout as both your hands hold onto his waist.

"I'm sorry, but you know I try my best right? After all, I'm the one cleaning after you dorks" he huff as he rested his forehead against yours. His cheeks getting darker as his eyes looked down.

"I know..., But come on, I'm your man! I want more time with you" you place a hand on his cheek, making him look back up at you with a more flustered expression at your tendered one.

"I know I know, so greedy for me, I promise I'll make more time for you" you mumble out between kissing his heated cheeks.

"Why don't I make it up to you? Hm? Give my needy boy a little reward and a treat?" You added as he trail kisses his neck. A whine leaving Mammon as you grinded up against him. He eagerly grinded back as he holds on to your shoulders.

"T-that doesn't s-sound..so bad-oh!" He jolted at the feeling of your tight dig down into his skin, making him release a sweet whimper as you licked the spot you bite down on. Lips sucking on the tender flesh and letting it go with a pop.

"yeah? You think you can hump against me and cum just by that?" You asked as you pulled away. A smirk danced on your face as he grinded more desperately at your suggestion.

"w-wha-no! P-please, don't tease me like that, I want you to touch me" he protested, making sure to grind hard down against your erection. Feeling the wet spot already forming on his crotch as he panted heavily. The friction was already too good for the greedy demon, letting his own body take control even if he wanted to go further. His eyes flutter close as your hands rip him of his jacket and shirt, a shaky breath leaving Mammon as your thumb rub circles in his perk nipples before trailing down.

"look at that, all wet and messy already? Such a needy boy Mammon" you chuckled at the whine he let escape. His hips jerked up as the rough pad of your finger rubbed against the slit of cunt.

" M-Mmh shut u-up, I can-cant help it" he whine loudly when you push him to lay on his back. Eyes almost glossy as he lifted his hips for you. Ripping him from his pants easily, his erection stood tall along with the whole damp that trail up to the tip of his cock and down to his silky cunt that was still cover by his boxers. Mammon couldn't help but to look away bashfully, a part of him always embarrass with the hungry expression you always gave him, but also with how vulnerable and small you always made him feel in these moments.

"p-please...please MC..." He begged quietly, hissing as your hand trail up to pump his length. You trail down to kiss his cheek softly before nipping at the heated skin.

"really? Cause you don't seem that far from cumming with how hard you're humping my cock"

"Okay, okay Baby, be good for me now and I'll give you everything you want.." you chuckled again. Your eyes locking with Mammon as you strip from your clothes, the sigh sending another wave of heat to Mammon's core as his dick twitch at the sight. Once pull your sweat pants down and expose your cock it was enough for him to let out a whimper at the sight. It was so hard and twitching that he could feel the heat radiating from beneath you, causing his hips to grind up into nothing.

"shh, shh I know baby boy" you cooed as you rip him from his boxers. Now it was your turn to feel light-headed at the sight. Even after so many times you always felt taken back at the big difference in demon anatomy, or in this case genitalia. It wasn't that big or too thick but the shape sure was interesting, small curving bumps like a horn. The color bright yellow and the tip almost turning white. While the slit around it was dripping into a darker shade of yellow mustard as his cunt clench around nothing, a too-familiar little bundle of nerves on top that also begged for your attention.

It took almost all of you to rip your eyes away as Mammon started squirming under your gaze. He was getting uncomfortably wetter by your harsh gaze. It was all too tempting for you to just dive down and take him in your mouth but knowing how needy he was now it was no time for teasing or foreplay. Your hands gently rubbed his knees and thighs as you align yourself against his entrance. Rubbing yourself against his folds earning the sweetest moan of your name as he hooked his legs around your waist.

Pushing yourself in slowly had both of you groaning loudly at the wonderful stretch, Mammon could feel each pulsating vein of your cock dragging against his spongy walls as he bottoms you out completely. Both of you panting heavily against each other before you lean down to capture his lips into a gentle kiss. Mammon's hands making their way around your neck as you sucked on his lips and letting them go with a pop. Slowly trying to calm down his breathing as you let him get comfortable. You brought your hips back before thrusting back in hard. Making the demon harsh his back as he let out a scream of pleasure, your hips grinding against him as you felt your eyes almost rolled back with how hard he was clenching down on you.

"m-me too baby, touch yourself no-now before I cum into your little cunt" you pulled back any self of control to not come at the dumb fucked look he had in his face as his hand shakily reach down to pump his length desperately. Mouth agape and drool passing his lips as he watches where both your bodies are connected. It was he needed to finally jump over the edge and cum all over his stomach and chest as you kept jackhammering into him. One of your hands reaching under his knee to hold it up as you gave one last thrust and painted his walls white. The demon let out a dragged-out whine as his body twitches at the feeling of being filled up. His body finally giving out and falling limp as he panted for air. You follow along and panted heavily, pulling out of him slowly to look at the mess you both did of your poor Bed.

"s-so close, right there! O-oh fuck I'm so close-" Mammon's eyes crossed as his head fell back.

You let out a low groan at the pulsating feeling of his walls trying desperately to hold you in place as his voice started to become horse with how much he was screaming now. Hitting the bundle of nerves inside of him that has his toes curling.

"hmm, good boy" you breathe out patting his twitching thighs as your other hand rubbed the tears that form in his eyes.

"h-hm fuck, such a good boy taking my cock so well" you growled out, starting a heavy pace. Both your hands resting beside his head as you let your weight fall into him with each hard thrust. It didn't take long before Mammon was moaning his head off as you turn his brain into goo. Each drag of his walls against your cock sending sweet shocking electricity all over his body. Chanting your name almost like a prayer as he holds on to you for dear life. His cunt milking you off every time you pulled back to slam into him, your sheets already soaked with how much he was leaking.

You ran a hand across your sweaty forehead as you threw the blankets to the side as you stood up and grab a few water bottles. Opening it up for Mammon to take. Brushing off the sweaty hair of his face as he sighs at the gentle touch.

"does my greedy demon want to take a shower with me?" You gently asked as he drank down the whole bottle in one go. A small smile on his face as he looked up at you.

"you know the answer to that"

[haikyuuthots]

Hi I really enjoyed you tik tok prank head canon! Is there any way you can make a head canon where the reader calls them bro prank lol. Like how would they react. Can you do Atsumu, Suna, Bokuto and Ushijima please!!!! Thank you 😽

Calling him “bro” prank

Characters: Miya Atsumu, Suna Rintaro, Bokuto Koutarou and Ushijima Wakatoshi

Warnings: none I think

Scenario: how the boys would react if you tried the calling them bro prank on them haha

A/n; thanks for requesting!!! I had a lot of fun writing this one, I hope you enjoy it 😌💕

——————————————————————

Miya Atsumu

You always referred to Atsumu as babe, baby or love

So when you saw this prank on Tik tok you wanted to see how he would react

You were both sitting in the living room of your shared apartment

He was watching a volleyball game on the tv while you were writing an essay on your laptop

He was going crazy talking about a serve one of his favorite teams just did

“Woooo babe did ya see that crazy serve?!??”

You thought this might be a good time to pull the prank off

“Mmm no i didn’t can you go back so I can see it?”

He rewinds the video and you watch intently as he shows excitement all over again

“Bro!! That was so cool” you say as casual as possible

Atsumu’s entire demeanor changes, and the look of excitement he had seconds ago completely fades

“What did ya just call me?” His face filled with confusion

“Huh when?” You try your best not to laugh out loud, he looks completely lost lmao

“Literally 3 seconds ago, you called me bro.”

“I did?” You’re doing your best to play it off

“Yes you did! I hate it I’m not your bro. ” He’s slightly pouting

You slightly chuckle “aw come on bro don’t be like that.”

He looks towards you with a disgusted face, he is evidently unsatisfied with your choice of words

“Y/n stop dont call me that I’m baby and nothing else I will actually ignore you if you call me that again.” He actually looks a bit upset

But you still wanna tease him a bit more

“Fine I’m sorry.,,” you briefly laugh and pause for a second “...bro”

“That’s it I’m ignoring ya til ya act right.”

He gets up and begins to walk away

You’re full blown laughing now ���baby baby wait.” You say as you reach out to stop him

His ears slightly perk up at the mention of his regular nickname

Still laughing you talk “it’s a prank. I’m just messing with you. I saw it on Tik Tok

He looks down out you, in disbelief, his frown quickly changing into a smile

Soon after he starts laughing with you

“Chaotic duo*

“That was actually kinda mean babe, I was like wtf why is she calling me her brother”

You start laughing even more “ wtf did you actually think I would call you bro? Never. you’re baby.”

He leans in closer to you and gently grabs you by the waist kissing you softly on the lips “better be.”

You kiss him back and wrap your arms around his neck, he softly picks you up causing you to wrap your legs around his torso as he continues to kiss you

Pulling away briefly he speaks again “but seriously don’t ever call me bro again I hate it”

“I won’t” you answer smiling up at him.

Suna Rintaro

You usually don’t try to pull pranks on him because he normally never falls for them

But after watching so many of these on tik tok and watching the reactions you were curious to try it out yourself

You’re casually sitting on your boyfriends lap while you’re both on your phones watching short videos

A few time passes by when Suna breaks the silence between you two

“Hey babe you hungry?”

You thought this was the perfect time to call him bro

“Nah bro I’m good” you say sounding as normal as possible

Suna drops his phone and gently shifts you from his lap making you look towards him

You ignore him and continue to look down at your phone lol

He doesn’t say anything at first, leaving an awkward silence for a few seconds

Still staring in disbelief he breaks the silence again “pause that and look at me real quick.”

You do as he says and you look up at him innocently acting like nothing is wrong

“What’s up?” You innocently reply

His grip tightens around you waist a bit “did you.. really just call me that?”

“What are you talking about?” You’re trying your best to keep a straight face

“You just called me bro.” He’s pouting

You honestly can’t believe he fell for it hahahaha

“Oh. Yeah I did. Does that bother you?” You’re just trying to rile him up at this point lmao

He scowls at your reply, gently pushing you off of his lap so he can look at you better “yes that bothers me, I’m not out here calling you dude or anything because you’re my girlfriend.”

You can’t help but laugh at his expression. Completely satisfied at the fact he actually reacted to your little prank

Suna is beyond confused “why are you laughing? I’m serious please don’t call me bro.”

“Baby” you gently leans towards his chest as you continue to laugh “I’m totally joking, it’s a prank I saw on tik tok.”

He cracks a small smile before he speaks again “this is the dumbest prank ever.”

You’re still laughing “yeah? But you were hella pressed so it worked.”

He rolls his eyes at your teasing “yeah yeah you got me.”

Still smiling you sit on his lap again and hug him tightly placing small kisses on his face to lighten up his mood

“I promise I would never call you bro and mean it.”

He smiles into your kisses, tightening his grip around your body while he kisses you gently on the lips

“I’m glad you wouldn’t cause I’m your boyfriend.”

“I know baby.” You respond leaning in once again, to close the gap between your lips.

Bokuto Koutarou

You have not called bokuto by his name since you started dating

It’s always a baby, babe or bub

So when you were on tik tok and saw a girl prank her boyfriend by calling him bro you wanted to try it out yourself on your boyfriend.

You and bokuto were tangled in each other’s arms watching a movie together.

The movie was a suspenseful, drama and the scene that was playing had a lot of blood

As you wince at the gore, you quickly decide this is where you’re gonna do the prank lol

“Aww bro look at all that blood.” You say, with a hint of disgust in your voice

Bokutos grip around you loosens, and he quickly goes to look for the remote to pause the tv

He’s looking towards you, with a very large frown on his face

You slightly chuckle “what’s wrong you don’t like the gore?”

“No it’s not that.” He answers still frowning

“Then what is it?” You respond pretending to not know why he’s really upset

“It’s just..... are you mad at me or something?”

You give him a confused look “why would I be mad at you?”

“I don’t know but you always call me babe, or something but just now... you called me bro.”

You’re doing your best to hold back your laughter “bro you sound crazy.”

Now Bokuto is pouting even more than before “aw did you just bro me again?” He dramatically buries his face in his hands “im sorry i made you mad but can you please go back to calling me baby?”

You can’t keep the joke going any further, Bokutos distressed figure is actually making you feel bad

“Baby” you coo as you remove his hands from his face “I’m just kidding, it’s a prank.”

You start laughing out more as you watch Bokuto relax into your touch

He instantly joins in to laugh with you

“Oh my god I can’t believe you got me.”

“I honestly didn’t even think you would notice”

“How could I not, you called me bro!” He replies still laughing a bit

“Why would you think I was mad though?” You question, still chuckling

“Why else would you call me such a terrible name? The only reason I could think of is if you were upset with me.”

You briefly laugh as you lean in to kiss bokuto softly on the lips, he reciprocates right away tightening his hold around your waist

Pulling away from the kiss bokuto speaks again, “do me favor and never call me bro again? I really hated it.”

You lovingly look at your boyfriends face “ oh I promise I won’t, I hated it too.”

He chuckles at your reply as he leans in to kiss you once again

Ushijima Wakatoshi

Ushijima was used to you calling him Toshi or love.

In fact he only ever responded to you when you called him one or the other

One time you called him by his last name and the man deadass unintentionally ignored you

That being said this man is still very stoic and hardly ever shows any reactions

So when you saw this prank you weren’t sure if he would react, the most you were expecting was to be ignored lol

You and Ushijima were out in the store buying some groceries

You were thinking of a good time to causally call him bro and you finally decided to do it when you were at the vegetable aisle

Picking up a giant broccoli you look over to Ushijima, quickly grabbing his attention

“Bro look at this broccoli it’s huge!” You say enthusiastically

Ushijima is staring at you with a blank stare, almost trying to understand the words that just came out of your mouth

“Helllo????” You say waving your hand in front of his face

Ushijima gently grabs your hands and lowers it

Still holding on, he asks in the most serious tone “what did you just call me?”

You’re holding back a smile trying your best to be as serious as you can

“Oh just now??? I said bro”

“Why would you call me that?” He’s looking at you with a confused face

“Because we’re close, people who are close always casually call each other bro”

“But y/n we”re dating.”

“Sooooo??” You say still trying your best not to burst out laughing

“People who are dating don’t call each other bro they call each other cute pet names”

“But you don’t call me any pet names?”

“Babe. I call you babe, that’s a pet name.”

“Well I want you to call me bro.” At this point you’re about to break, this conversation is so funny to you.

“I’m not gonna call you bro. And I don’t want you calling me bro either, I hate that.”

“Come on bro don’t be like that.” You teasingly say letting out a small chuckle

Ushijima once again stares at you, this time he’s evidently unamused

“I won’t respond to you if you keep calling me that.” He says as he begins to walk away

You’re full blown laughing as you run to stop Ushijima from walking away any further

“Toshi wait” you say holding onto his shirt

Ushijima turns around to look at you, still very confused

“I’m totally joking, I would never call you bro. It’s a prank I saw in tik tok.”

Ushijima cracks a soft smile, looking down at you as you laugh

“Thank god, I was so confused by that entire conversation.”

“I could tell, you’ve never looked more lost.”

He gently grabs you to hold you as you guys begin to walk again

“Alright let’s go, we need to finish shopping.”

“Okay love.”

He smiles as he hears the common pet name. That what he loved hearing you call him.

[sleepysnk]

the chapter you've all been waiting for.

Team Player: Chapter Six

Pairings: Eren Jaeger x Fem!Reader

Warnings: None

Word Count: 3.0k

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The sound of Eren's alarm woke him out of the deep sleep he was in. 

He groaned as he reached over to grab his phone which was still blaring the annoying sound of his alarm. It was morning already? He felt so exhausted and he just wanted to roll over, and sleep the rest of the day away. 

But sadly he couldn't. 

Eren's eyes squinted as he looked at the screen which read the time, it was 8:55 a.m. He sat up in his bed and rubbed his temples, his hair was messy from sleeping, and his ankle slightly ached from the pain he was in. 

Sighing, he sat up and grabbed some clothes. His body felt tired as he yawned and stretched his muscles, feeling a few joints pop as he moved around. Boy did that feel good. 

Eren tied his hair into a bun and threw on a sweater and sweatpants. His usual. Eren didn't really care to get dressed, who was he impressing? Plus it was a pretty chilly morning, the temperatures were dropping as fall began to become more known. He just wanted to be comfortable. 

Eren wrapped his ankle with the wrap given to him by the nurse, and popped a few medications into his mouth before heading out of his dorm to the main campus for class. The exhaustion going through him was enough to make him walk slower to class, plus with his limp, it made him slower than usual. 

He was never usually this early to class, most of the time Eren was with Jean or Reiner talking about the game or simply goofing off. Unfortunately, most of his teammates avoided him or just gave him dry responses. It was difficult for him and in a way, it kind of hurt a bit. Seeing your own teammates being so against you that they have to avoid you really sucked. 

"You're here early Eren… that's a surprise." Professor Ackerman said, opening the door to his room. 

Eren rubbed the back of his neck and walked into the empty class. A few students trailed behind him and went to their own seats, Eren stared into space waiting for class to begin. 

Within a few minutes, Professor Ackerman stood at the front of the class. "Good morning, I hope you all are doing fine or whatever. Let's talk about what you're going to be doing today," he explained, grabbing his papers. 

Eren sighed with boredom and tapped his pencil on the counter. What was he going to do this time? 

"Today you're all going to be starting a brand new project. It's based on the unit we've been covering for the last two weeks, so I hope you've been taking notes and paying attention. To save some time, I decided to partner you up with someone else in the class," Professor Ackerman said, leaning against his desk. 

A few small groans and eye rolls came from students hearing the words "project" and "partners". 

"Enough of the groaning, I know it's not ideal but it's better than going through 20 different presentations." he said and crossed his arms. "I'll be pairing you with someone randomly, this project must be done as a pair. If I see that one person did more than the other it will deduct points off your grade," he added. 

Eren leaned back in his chair and looked around the class. He pondered as to who his partner could be. 

"Listen for your names and once I call it raise your hands," Professor Ackerman said, looking around the class. 

Different names began to be called, some people groaned at the realization of who their partners were, others just shrugged and seemed unfazed by it all. 

"Eren Jaeger and (Y/N) (L/N)." 

Eren's eyes went as wide as saucers hearing that name again. (Y/N) and Eren hadn't talked in years, especially after the embarrassment that went down their freshmen year. He knew she was in his class, but he never really paid much attention to her. 

"Get started on this immediately, the project will be due next week. No funny business either," Professor Ackerman said and turned to sit at his desk. 

Eren shifted in his chair and watched as (Y/N) made her way towards him, she seemed totally unfazed and sort of annoyed by the situation she was in. 

She had changed quite a bit. It had been about 3 years since they last talked with one another. 

"H-Hey.." Eren said as she plopped down in the chair next to him. 

(Y/N) looked blankly at him and opened her laptop. "Here.. put your email in," she said, avoiding his gaze. 

Eren put his email in and pushed her laptop back towards her. The atmosphere felt awkward and thick between them. 

"Do you want to go to the library? When you have the time," she asked and averted her eyes towards him. 

Eren nodded, looking up from his phone. "Yeah.. that's fine," he replied. 

The two sort of silently worked with each other, no words were spoken between them. Eren felt the tension and so did (Y/N). Who could blame them? It had been 3 whole years since they last had an encounter like this. Of course he'd see her sometimes in the hallways, or getting some coffee, but they never spoke verbally to one another. 

"Alright you're all dismissed, remember to work on this project as much as you can." Professor Ackerman said. 

Eren and (Y/N) stood up. "I'll see you later," she said, walking away from him. 

This was going to be just great. 

-

Most of Eren's classes seemed to fly by as it was now the end of the day. He was supposed to meet with (Y/N) in the library later, of course it was awkward. She didn't seem too interested in what he had to say, nor did she seem talkative. 

(Y/N) sat in the library patiently waiting on her phone. Curse Professor Ackerman for putting them together. Her view on Eren Jaeger did not change one bit. His actions caused a lot of embarrassment for her, a lot of people saw the video of her that day in biology, and they made fun of her. 

It wasn't an overstatement to say she hated Eren Jaeger. 

She stared at her laptop screen as she heard the library doors open. Her eyes averted to see Eren making his way towards her, she noticed his limp which made her brows furrow. 

"Hey, sorry for being a bit late. I got caught up with my friend," Eren said, throwing an apologetic look her way. "So uh.. I have some ideas for the project," he added. 

(Y/N) nodded. "What are the ideas?" she asked, raising a brow. 

"So.. we could add some different examples of the different bacteria. You know? Shorten it down a bit, because if we make it longer than we should he'll take points off." Eren explained. "Let's do it that way," he added.

(Y/N) wasn't exactly amused with the idea. She felt like shortening it would also give them points off. 

"I don't think we should do that. If we make it too short then we get points off too," she replied. 

Eren stared at her confused. "Then we just make it medium. I'll do the easier slides," he said, shrugging. "It'll be a good grade for the both of us. You're smart so," he added. 

(Y/N) furrowed her brows and felt irritation going through her. "Dude that's not fair to me at all. We should just do every other slide, that gives me all the hard work. It isn't fair," she said, crossing her arms over her chest. 

"Look, it's easier for the both of us. It is fair, let's just do it my way," he said, looking at her. 

(Y/N) rolled her eyes. "We did it your way last time and you fucked it up," she replied. 

Eren looked at her and furrowed his brows. "You're still mad about that?! Come on (Y/N), get over it. You're being overdramatic," he said, crossing his arms. 

That's when she had enough and grabbed her stuff, pushing it into her backpack. 

"Where are you going?" he asked as he watched her sling her backpack over her shoulder. 

(Y/N) scoffed. "You know… your teamwork skills are absolutely shitty. You're selfish and you always think for yourself. That's why our project went to shit freshmen year, I'm tired of biting my tongue with you. Fuck off Eren," she said standing up. "Maybe for once.. take a look at the shit you do from other people's point of view," she added, exiting the library. 

That's when it hit him. 

He did have shitty teamwork skills. (Y/N) even said it herself. 

Everyone was right about Eren, he was a selfish person. The answer was clear in front of him. Guilt washed over him as he realized what he had done, not just to his team, but to (Y/N) too. 

He had to find (Y/N), maybe she could help him. 

-

(Y/N) stared at the ceiling as frustration ran through her. 

Eren Jaeger really didn't change huh? 

"Why are you sulking? You seem pissed," her roommate Sasha asked while plopping down on her bed. 

(Y/N) laughed a bit and sat up. "Eren Jaeger… that's why," she replied, leaning her body against the wall. "He's so stupid," she added, looking at her roommate. 

Sasha nodded. "Oh! I remember him, he's such an asshole. Did you see his giant fail?! It was so funny," she said, beginning to laugh at the thought of the video. 

(Y/N) looked at her and shook her head. "No? I personally don't care what he does. I'm probably gonna email Professor Ackerman… I can't stand working with Eren. He wants everything done his way! He never listens," she replied, rolling her eyes in annoyance. 

Sasha's phone began to vibrate. She grabbed it and grinned. "Oop! Connie texted me, I gotta go (Y/N). I'll see you later," she said, standing up to get her shoes. "I hope you feel better! I'll kick Eren in the nuts for you," she said giggling. 

(Y/N)'s lips drew to a smile. "Alright.. have fun with Connie. Not too much fun though," she replied, winking at her. 

Sasha opened the door to their dorm. "No promises!" she replied, exiting the room. 

The door shut with a click and (Y/N) was now alone in her dorm. It was a usual night with Sasha leaving to go see her boyfriend Connie. (Y/N) wished she could have that luxury with someone else, but she wasn't exactly interested in anybody. Her dreams were just too much for love. 

A sudden knock came from the door. 

Confused, (Y/N) stood up. Sasha probably forgot a condom or something, the girl was always so forgetful. 

She opened the door expecting Sasha to be there. "Forget a condom-" her eyes averted to see Eren standing there with his backpack. 

"Can I talk to you, please?" he asked with desperation in his voice. "I won't be here long," he added, looking down at her. 

(Y/N) fell silent and opened the door wider so he could enter. "How do you know where my dorm is?" she asked, furrowing her brows. 

Eren looked back at her. "We did the project in your dorm, plus I never really forget what dorms I go to." he replied, looking around her dorm.

"So why are you here? If you're here to work on the project, I don't want to hear it." (Y/N) asked, crossing her arms. 

Eren sighed, placing his backpack down. "Look… (Y/N), I realized what I did to you earlier was wrong. You're right.. it isn't fair to you, and I realize that now. I'd like to also apologize for embarrassing you freshmen year, I was childish and I feel guilty for doing it." he said. 

(Y/N) was surprised hearing Eren sound so apologetic. She's never once heard him speak that way towards anyone. 

"I appreciate the apology… but it still doesn't change what you did. I can forgive you Eren, but I can't forget," she replied, looking down at the floor. 

He nodded. "That's understandable," he said. 

The two fell silent as the tension took over. (Y/N) decided to ease the tension a bit. 

"What happened to your ankle?" she asked, pointing down at his ankle which was wrapped. 

He chuckled. "Oh, you concerned for me now princess?" he asked, smirking. 

She rolled her eyes and opened the door. "Get out," she said, pointing at the outside of the door. 

Eren put his hands up in defense. "Wait wait! I'm messing with you, I'm sorry. That was too soon," he replied, smacking his head. "Let me explain," he added, sitting down in the chair next to her bed. 

(Y/N) closed the door, crossing her arms as she watched him take out his phone. Her brows furrowed as Eren seemed to be looking for something on it. 

He held it out to her. "Here.. this is what happened," he said, looking up at her. 

(Y/N) took his phone from his fingers and played the video which was from Twitter, specifically a sports account. She watched as Eren caught the ball and was tackled to the ground, she could see the way his ankle bent. She cringed as she saw the replay of it. 

"Ouch… that looks like it hurt," she said, tossing his phone back towards him. "But why are you still here?" she asked, nodding her head in confusion. 

Eren pushed his phone into his sweater pocket. "I got kicked off the team.." he replied, looking at the floor. 

Her (e/c) eyes widened hearing the news. She heard people talk a lot about Eren, he was popular considering he was on the football team. She knew he was at D1 level. That's why he was here. 

"Um.. if you don't mind me asking, why?" she asked, sitting down on Sasha's bed. 

Eren ran his fingers through his messy bun. "It's uh.. kind of a long story in a way." he replied. "I can explain it to you if you'd like," he added, giving a weak smile. 

She nodded and looked towards the floor. "Sure… I guess," she said, crossing her legs on the bed. 

Eren sighed. "Basically at the most recent rival game, I ended up playing while I was hurt. My coach told me many times that if I was in pain I should come off the field, but I was fine the day before. I just thought it was nothing," he explained, shrugging his shoulders. "Then during the last play, which we were in the lead by the way, I ran for Jean's ball and we ended up hitting each other. The ball bounced off of us and it intercepted, so they won by a touchdown." he added. 

(Y/N) nodded and started to process what he said. Sounds like a selfish move in a way, to her at least. 

"So wait… that doesn't explain how you got kicked off," she said. 

He chuckled a bit. "I'm getting to that," he said, adjusting his body in the chair. "Basically my coach told me the other day that I was benched, or you know kicked off, because I have shitty teamwork skills and apparently I'm selfish. I guess my other teammates have said it too," he added. 

She nodded her head again while listening to more of what he said. She could see why his coach did it, sometimes you have to do things for the best possible outcome. Considering it was Eren Jaeger out of all people, he probably didn't see why. 

"That is crazy.. I'm sorry," she said and rubbed the back of her neck. "I know things will get better," she added, laughing a bit. Eren stared at her as she sat there awkwardly. "Uh.." she said, looking around the room. 

Eren shook his head. "Sorry.. um, that's what I wanted to talk to you about." he said. "If you want to listen," he added. 

(Y/N) furrowed her brows. "Okay.. go ahead," she replied, adjusting herself on Sasha's bed. 

Eren leaned back in the chair. "I need help," he said. "And you are the only person I know that can help me. Please, help me fix my teamwork skills." he said with a pleading tone. "You don't have to of course, but I need this (Y/N). I need this season majorly for my career," he added, looking at her with desperation circling in his eyes. 

She stayed silent as her gaze dropped to the floor. Would helping him be beneficial at all? Doesn't he have other friends? 

"Um.. Eren-"

"Please. I need your help," he said, cutting her off. 

She sighed. "What's in it for me huh? I'm not doing it unless I get something in return," she replied, crossing her arms. 

He looked around the room for a moment. "You can do the project your way, I won't interfere or tell you what to do." he said, raising his brows a bit. 

She thought for a moment. She'll get a good grade and if it leads to him just shutting up, then fine. 

"I'm not so sure Eren.. I doubt I can help you," she said, shrugging a bit. 

"(Y/N). Please. I'm literally begging you at this point, you have great teamwork skills! I remember your presentation in biology and how you got the best grade in the class with your partner, please help." he pleaded. 

She sighed, blowing air out of her nose. "Fine.. but we do it my way. We'll meet up again in a few days to get started," she said, standing up. 

Eren's eyes were wide. "Wait really!? Thank you (Y/N)! You're fucking awesome," he said, grinning widely at her. 

Heat rushed to her cheeks hearing what he said. "U-Uh, yeah whatever. Text me and we'll talk about it," she replied, grabbing her phone and handing it to him. 

Eren put his number in and handed her phone back. "Say less, I'll see you in class." he said, giving her a toothy smile. 

"Yeah whatever," she said, opening the door so he could leave. 

She watched as he limped down the hall and exited the front doors of the residence hall, she closed the door to her dorm and leaned against it with a sigh. 

What was she getting herself into?

tagging: @ererokii @eremiie @moomii-hime @thicmitten @callmepromise @katsuhera @basket-flower-chick @flam3bird @kc-braun @just-a-little-sad @daughter-of-the-stars11 @chayauwu @lunamoonawatcher @sof-yeager @ryan249057

[misora-msby]

scarred love.

rating : mature

word count : 4.3k

themes : angst, slight fluff, implied and mentions of sex

notes : based on vistlip’s CLASSIC OPERA // this is my first work on this blog, i hope you enjoy!

“I don’t think he loves me anymore.”

“No way… That’s not the case, I’m sure!”

“That’s what I want to think but…”

Suna could barely believe as he stood outside the bedroom door, hand barely making contact with the handle. Was that really what you thought? 

“I wonder if it’s normal for couples to fall out of love at this stage.”

“Mm… there’s certainly been couples I’ve known like that. They were in love for years but after they got married they decided it wasn’t the life for them and divorced.”

Suna heard your gasp follow the tinny voice from the phone. He had heard of similar stories before but never thought it would happen to him and you. 

Ever since you had gotten together, he was always subtle in his love. He was never the type to outright say “I love you” in public or to boldly proclaim his love for you on social media. Suna preferred linking pinkies while walking or to post photos of your study dates with simple captions like “another ‘10 minute break’” or “we are going to collapse”. 

Despite this, when you were in the privacy of your apartment, he almost never left your side. It was either his head on your lap, his legs laying over yours on the couch, or you sitting on his lap in some way albeit still being relatively quiet. 

So to think you were getting upset with the little attention he was showing recently had him confused. Wasn’t he always like this?

“But Y/N, I doubt Suna-san’s fallen out of love. Isn’t it just that his new job with EJP Raijin is keeping him busy?” 

“Y-Yeah but… he hasn’t said anything about it. He comes back late and leaves early and it just… It just sucks so much! I don’t know what to do!” you sob and Suna can hear the sound of you blowing your nose and coughing through your tears. 

Taking a step back from the bedroom door, the middle blocker moved to the couch and sat for a moment, head in his hands. He knew love couldn’t be perfect. A perfect relationship without fights or problems was just waiting to crumble from the slightest crack in it. But he wanted to at least prevent you from thinking this way. 

He wanted you to know he did love you. 

Later that night, he crawled into the bed, freshly showered and in his pyjamas - an old thin t-shirt and a pair of boxers. You laid beside him in your own pyjamas - one of his big t-shirts and a pair of shorts. 

“Y/N,” he turned onto his side and called your name, causing you to almost jump while attempting to fall asleep with your swirling thoughts.

“Yes, Rin?” 

“You have a free day tomorrow too, don’t you?”

“Well… yes. Why?”

The bed shifted under his movement to hold himself over you. 

“W-Wait a second! Rin! I’m not prepared or anything- mmf!” 

He pressed his lips to yours, his fox-like eyes shut delicately as he kissed you passionately. Before you knew it, his hands moved to your sides and began to lift the edge of the shirt up, but were quickly pushed down. 

“Rintarou,” you lightly pushed on his chest, “I uh… I’m not wearing any nice underwear… A-And I haven’t shaved. Can I go change and do that?” 

Honestly you were very surprised that he suddenly wanted to do this. Suna was always one to do things out of the blue; your relationship was built on impromptu dates and spontaneous gifts he claimed ‘reminded him of you’, but this really had came out of nowhere. 

You hadn’t been intimate in weeks and you wanted to at least look good for it, but Suna just shook his head. 

“You’re fine like this. I love you however you look.” He leaned back down and began to place kisses along your jaw and neck. 

His kisses were softer than usual, you noted. And his hands weren’t rushing to tear your clothes off like he usually did.

“Rin- ah! Rintarou, why are you doing this all of a sudden?”

“We’re both free tomorrow. Can’t I spend my free day with my girlfriend the way I want to?” he asked, looking up at you through his thin lashes. 

“Still! That gives me more time to go get ready.”

“No,” he shook his head and continued to kiss and bite along your neck and collarbones, leaving his marks of love on your skin, “I want to spend every second that I can with you now that I have the time.”

“Wait a second.”

Suna finally pulled his lips away from your skin, now littered with little marks, “What’s wrong?”

“Since when were you so romantic? It just… Don’t get me wrong, I’m super happy it’s just a little funny…” 

His eyes widened at the sight of tears welling up in your eyes.

“Y/N, are you okay?” he asked, cupping your face in his large rough hands gently. 

“I’m more than okay! No… I don’t know why I’m crying…” you sob softly, rubbing at your eyes. 

Suna chuckled lightly. “Is it because you’re filled with overwhelming love for me?”

“Rintarou!” you whined and hit his chest lightly. “You’re absolutely insufferable!”

“You say that but you were the one who asked me out on our graduation.” 

“...you little shit. I really do love you.” 

“Mm, I thought so. I love you too.” He continued to kiss and strip you.

Unlike your usual nights together which were spent fucking roughly, leaving bodies sore and lightly scarred, tonight was slow and loving albeit passionate as ever. Soft kisses and laughs were exchanged in the dark as Suna made love to you, thrusting slowly while mumbling words of love into your body. 

The next morning, you were woken up by the feeling of a kiss on your forehead. Your eyelids fluttered open and you squinted in the morning light to see Suna sitting on his side of the bed, clad only in boxers. There was also the scent of eggs and toast, and when you looked down, you saw it sitting on a plate between you two.

“I’m no Osamu here. But I think my cooking is still edible,” your boyfriend sighed before flopping down onto the bed beside you and closing his eyes. 

“You actually woke up to cook for me?” you asked, sitting up to look at the sunny-side-ups with broken yolks and the toast that was just a little too toasted for your liking. 

“Surprised myself too,” he yawned before squinting his eyes open, “More like… I wanted to surprise you. And wake you up with a kiss.”

“You’re so cheesy today, aren’t you!”

“I know, I think it’s weird too.”

On that day, you knew he still loved you. And you loved him more than ever before.

But that happiness couldn’t last forever. In the city of Tokyo where sadness and troubles rained down, something was bound to happen. Even the most heavily cemented cracks could once again break under a heavy enough pressure. 

Even if it took a couple of months.

“Rintarou! Welcome home!”

“Mm.”

Your brow furrowed slightly as you noticed his short answer. After shutting your laptop where you were answering some work related emails while waiting for your boyfriend, you made your way over to Suna who was hanging his winter coat by the door.

“Rin, are you alright?”

“Just tired.”

You sighed softly, “You shouldn’t overwork yourself. You need breaks sometimes too, you know?” And reached up to begin massaging his shoulders as you usually did. But he only pushed your hands away quickly, saying, “Not tonight,” before walking further into the apartment.

You bit your lower lip to prevent it from trembling any further while your hands stayed still as if frozen mid air. You were hesitating to tell him what you wanted to say earlier.

“Rintarou… Tomorrow you don’t have scheduled practice, right? I…” you took a deep breath as he turned to face you, eyes dark and heavy-looking. 

“Yeah.”

“I was wondering… Well, I don’t have work tomorrow either so I reserved a place at a nice restaurant for dinner! I think we both need a bit of a break, work’s been so busy and you’re also training so intensely and-”

“No.”

“H- Huh?” you laughed nervously, “What do you mean by ‘no’?”

“It means what it means, I don’t want to go.”

“Rintarou, you can’t just- I can’t- I promise it’s a really nice place! A-And I wanted to spend some time with you…” there was a lump welling up in your throat as you tried not to suddenly pour out your recent feelings towards him. 

The recent frustrations of not being able to spend much time with your boyfriend anymore, the annoyance at the way he would always spend his free time doing self training, the anger towards his schedule which rarely ever allowed you to meet, the sadness of the fact that your shared apartment no longer had the sound of laughter when you two played games or watched silly YouTube videos together...

All that frustration felt like it was just being held up behind that lump in your throat, and to think he would simply dismiss it without a second thought.

“You should’ve asked before you started making plans. I’m going to the gym tomorrow again. We have a match against the Red Falcons in two weeks so I need to become at least a bit stronger,” Suna explained monotonously, as if you should have known that already.

“I- I know but… I thought… it’d be a nice surprise…”

The man sighed and turned to walk towards the bathroom, ready to just shower and go to sleep. He simply could not be bothered to argue with you, thinking this problem would solve itself like it always did. But you had had enough of this issue.

Suna hadn’t even realised it was coming until he felt a small bell keychain hit the back of his head. It fell to the hardwood floor with a loud clang which lasted for far too long, causing him to inhale sharply and turn around, anger and annoyance replacing the bored expression on his face for once. 

“What the hell is-” he was about to raise his voice until he saw the way your features trembled and your eyes had already become red and puffy. His own features softened and his body unstiffened. “Y/N…”

“You know, the least you could do is try to be nice to me!” you yelled, furiously wiping away the tears forming. “You could at least say “Mm, I’m really not free but we can do it some other time.” or some shit like that! But no! I- I’m busy too, you know! I’m trying to get promoted so I don’t have to rely on yer dumb ass all the time, but I still want to make time for you because I love you so much! But I don’t think ya get that!” 

Something in the back of your mind was telling you not to say these things, that maybe you could just talk this out calmly. Maybe you didn’t have to explode, but something else told you this was the only way to get a point across.

“I’m your girlfriend, but I feel more like a roommate or burden at this point! Ya know, even ‘Tsumu’s able to make time for his girlfriend! And- And Bokuto’s always doing his promotions and ads but still makes time for his boyfriend! Ojiro-senpai too! Miyu-chan tells me he’s the one planning the dates! But ya can’t even be bothered to pretend you’re happy I tried ta plan somethin’ for us!” 

Suna knew you really were angry when your dialect started coming out but he just didn’t know what to say. He could only stand there in silence with his head hanging like a child being scolded.

“Rintarou… I love you so much you know… I just wonder these days- no, I just wonder if you ever loved me back the same way.”

Oh, he knew. Ever since that night when he heard you crying on the phone, he knew he wasn’t doing enough. 

“I… I’m sorry.” Suna looked up when he suddenly heard those words from you amidst the sobs and chokes. 

“I already left your pyjamas on the bathroom counter… Please don’t… Just please don’t talk to me tonight.” you hurried to the tiny kitchen to wash your face as he silently made his way to the bathroom, thoughts swirling around in his head. 

Suna stared at your figure silently for a second before bending down to pick up the bell - a cheap gift he had given you for your third month together right after you two first started university. It was old, the string slightly frayed and loose, and the golden paint had chipped in places to reveal the stainless steel underneath it. There was even a dent on the bottom from when you accidentally dropped one of your heavier textbooks onto it. It was old, and Suna had told you countless times it was fine to throw away, but you always kept it. 

The man took it and carefully placed it back on the key rack before heading into the bathroom. He took his time in there, gathering his thoughts as he knew he wouldn’t be sharing a bed with you tonight.

It was understandable really, he hadn’t been a great boyfriend. Suna knew a relationship took work from both sides and he shouldn’t have been as blunt as he was earlier that night. 

One couldn’t count the number of times he had muttered profanities aimed towards himself while sitting in the bathtub thinking about his mistakes. He didn’t know if you would even want to see him tomorrow morning. Maybe it was for the best he just went to the gym…

The next morning, Suna woke up early. Even in winter, the sun rose far too early in Japan for his taste. Sitting up and grumbling, he rubbed his eyes and stumbled to the bathroom to begin his morning routine.

Looking at himself in the mirror as he brushed his teeth, he could only sigh at the sight of the dark circles under his eyes. 

Though you made him sleep on the stiff couch last night, you gave him the shared duvet and his pillow while you took the slightly thinner blanket from the closet. 

Despite the added comfort, Suna could barely fall asleep. He kept twisting and turning, thinking about you. Your pained face, your strained voice, your kindness even when angry at him. 

“I fucked up so bad,” he muttered once he washed his face and stared at his pathetically tired self in the mirror, water dripping from the ends of his hair. Would you want to break up with him after that? He’d understand if you wanted to, though he knew he would never be able to forgive himself for losing you because of some stupid mistake he could have prevented. 

Suna sighed for what felt like the thousandth time in the past 12 hours and dabbed his face dry with a towel. He knew that now would be the hardest bit - entering your bedroom to get his change of clothes.

Opening the door as slowly as possible in order to prevent the loud whiny creaking that he wished he had fixed months ago, Suna walked slowly towards the open closet. As quickly as possible, he grabbed a set of clothes and turned to face the door. Though it wasn’t without looking at your sleeping form on the large bed. 

Your face was puffy, dehydrated from sobbing last night, only emphasised by the wads of used tissues on the nightstand and floor. He noticed your breathing was a bit heavier than usual and your body was curled up as you hugged the thin blanket as close to yourself as you could.

The sight pained him intensely. 

With silent footsteps, Suna set his clothes on his side (the empty side) of the bed and tiptoed out to grab the duvet before returning and carefully laying it over your body. He tucked it right up to your chin as you always liked it and sat on the floor, eyes scanning every little feature on your face. From the smallest moles he loved to kiss to each individual eyelash.

“You’re not hearing this, I guess,” he muttered, looking down at the floor for a moment before looking back up at you, “I thought about it for a really long time. I really should’ve been better to you.”

The silence in the room was deafening. 

Suna gulped and bit the inside of his cheek as he thought about his next words, wondering if you could hear him in your sleep. 

“I always left you alone but you would always be nice to me. When you could, you’d make me bentos and clean the house while I did the laundry. Hm… putting stuff into a machine isn’t anywhere equal to cooking and cleaning surfaces, but I guess that’s another point to make.” 

Suna smiled to himself just a bit at the memory of you running into the bedroom to make him try your new pastries or dinner creations. He always thought you were so adorable in your old and stained apron that sometimes he would just stand in the kitchen to chat with you or watch you cook.

Then he was reminded of the dinner you had planned for the two of you and he suddenly frowned remembering how horrible he acted towards you the night before.

“You never expected me to be perfect since day one. I think I’m the furthest thing from a handsome prince on a white horse. But you’ve always been wonderful to me. And I was thinking…” You were asleep, right? Was it worth it to say such cheesy things?

“I kept wondering if you would leave and I thought I don’t want to lose you. I’m nowhere close to a prince but I thought I want to always be the one who wakes you up with a kiss. Or, I want you to wake me up with a kiss. Either is fine really. But… yeah. I’m sorry. Really, really sorry. ” He was certain you weren’t hearing these things yet there was a dark blush on his cheeks.

Until he saw you shift in the bed. 

Suna swears his heart stopped momentarily as he leaned closer, checking to see if you had woken up. 

Your eyelids slowly opened and you squinted tiredly at Suna, just barely able to see him with how blurry your vision had become. “Rin…?”

The man hurried to his feet, hoping his morning wouldn’t feel any heavier than it already did. 

“I’m gonna give you some space. I’ll be back after my jog.” 

Suna turned to exit the bedroom but was stopped by the sound of stumbling, followed by your warmth around his waist and resting on his back.

“Please… don’t go.”

He stared silently at the floor in front of him. 

“I don’t think you want to-”

“Stay here! …please?” 

Your soft voice broke but mended his heart at the same time. The scratchiness and fear in your voice contrasted with the words that he wanted to hear so badly.

“Did you…”

“Yeah, I heard everything.”

“You’re not mad?”

“Of course I’m still a little mad. But right now I’m just really happy you would say those things when you normally wouldn’t tell me how you feel. So… please, don’t go. Stay with me.”

The few moments of silence seemed to pass in eons as Suna took in a shaky breath before turning to hug you tightly, burying his face into your neck so you couldn’t see his tears of relief.

“Of course I will. I won’t go anywhere, babe.”

Four years have passed since that night. Suna yawns and scrunches up his face slightly at the way the sunlight enters your shared bedroom. Squinting his eyes, he looks around the room and wonders if maybe he should’ve put on a shirt like you did last night to deal with the first bites of winter. Then again, you did take his shirt.

He then looks to you, sleeping quietly by his side. You looked a little like a mess; hair messy, dwarfed in his big shirt, cheek smushed against the pillow, but he thought you looked adorable. 

It’s cold, but he feels warm by your side. 

And when he looks down at your left hand resting under his even in your sleep, the sight of the silver ring with its diamonds adorning your finger makes his heart even warmer.

[illfoandillfie]

Okay first a smutty one 😏 smth where ben is like super bored and it’s a rainy day and reader keeps suggesting different things they could do like board games or baking etc but he shoots everything down until finally she’s like ok you come up with smth geez and then he just tackles her and they Do It

thank you for giving me excuses to be a whore about ben sdkjsdllkdjskjsd I just really enjoy writing smut with these two cause they're such dorks and just like making each other laugh which is cute and fun.

Anyway, I did not proof read this or anything because I finished writing it at 12.40 am (ahhhh help i need to be up for work in 5 and a half hours) so apologies for any mistakes.

Words: 2,566

Warnings: Smut (obviously), a lil hint of oral (f receiving), some fingering, a single slap on the arse.

Ben jerked aside the curtain hanging over the bedroom window, humming in discontent as he confirmed that it was still raining. “Stop checking the window Ben,” you sighed, only half paying attention to him over your novel, “You heard the weather report, it won’t let up for another day at least.” “Well you know weather presenters are wrong half the time,” You chose to ignore him, much more interested in the book.  Unfortunately for you, Ben still had some complaining to get out of his system.  “I’m so sick of this weather. You know we were meant to be playing cricket today,” “Mmhmm,” “I like rain as much as the next person but this is fucking ridiculous.” “Just invite some of the others over then,” you said, pulling your eyes from the page in the hopes that displaying your interest now would give you ample time to read later, “play video games or something,” “It’s not the same,” You could have laughed at Ben’s expression as his gave another wistful glance at the window. He’d always vaguely reminded you of a puppy, especially when he got excited about something, but the comparison was even more obvious now. He’d checked the window about six times over the course of the morning, each time looking crestfallen when no blue sky had materialised. The constant downpour seemed to be driving him bonkers. You, on the other hand, were coping quite well if you said so yourself. Aside from having to work on the first two days of the rain, you’d used the dreary weather as an excuse to stay in bed, wearing your comfies, drinking steaming mugs of tea and coffee, as you read and played games on your laptop. At first you’d hoped that Ben would be similarly inclined, and you’d pictured scenes of the two of you cozied up on the couch or cooking a hot, comforting meal together. Proper rainy day stuff. Alas, Ben wasn’t interested in sitting still, preferring to wander around the house, looking through curtains and complaining about what he saw through them. Hardly surprising really since he’d been indoors indulging in warm comfort those first days while you were working. When he didn’t get much sympathy from you, Ben left the bedroom again, (heading off to try a different window you assumed) and let you get back to your book.

You lost track of time, thoroughly enjoying yourself as you snuggled into your nest, sitting up straight when you got to a particularly intense section. Once the action calmed down you rearranged the pillows to give your back a little more support and settled into the story once more. Ben did cross your mind once or twice in slower chapters, but only because the absence of his frustrated sighing was notable. Eventually he reappeared in the room though, almost sulky in the way he slumped towards you, collapsing face down across the width of the bed.  “What’s up Blondie?” You kept your eyes fixed to the page.  “’m bored,” “So find something to do,” “There’s nothing to do here.” “You could read with me,” you shifted your hands on the book, holding it open as you moved one hand to tap the spot on the bed beside you. “Nah, don’t feel like reading.” Sensing that the conversation wouldn’t be a quick one you focused your attention on Ben, “If you let me finish this chapter then we could play a board game.” Ben pushed himself up but gave a non-committal shrug.” “Or watch a movie?” “Nah, I don’t want to just sit around,” “Well Rach gave me that recipe book for Christmas right? We could bake something? Or...” Feeling a little more frustrated you scanned the room for inspiration. Where once you’d only seen Ben’s trinkets and collected items, you now saw a mix of things that belonged to both of you. Your books were next to his on the shelf, the lucky cat you’d bought him was accompanied by a figurine of your zodiac symbol that he’d picked up on a whim, the desk was a mess of printed out guitar chords and notebooks that contained scribbles in both of your handwriting as well as a few stray lipsticks and earrings. But none of it really sparked any ideas to occupy Ben.  “You could give this room a tidy,” it wasn’t a serious suggestion but you made it anyway, knowing it would be shot down. “See, there’s nothing to do here!” “Well I don’t then Ben. You don’t like any of my suggestions, so come up with something yourself. Just please stop moping around, it’s giving me the shits.”

You dropped your eyes back to your book, waiting to feel the bed shift as Ben stood and the sound of him crossing the room to the door. Instead there was silence for a moment. And the next thing you knew was being knocked back, just barely managing to hold onto your book, so you were lying across the bed with Ben on top of you. “I found something I want to do,” he said, resting his chin on your chest and giving you his best pleading puppy eyes. “Oh alright,” you said, trying not to laugh, “But let me mark my page so I don’t lose my place.” Ben lifted his head as he reached over and plucked the, slightly crushed, book from between you, replacing your bookmark before dropping it to the floor. “There’s a bedside table right th-” before you could finish your sentence, Ben leaned down again and kissed you. It was a deep kiss, Ben’s tongue pressing towards your throat as he gently grinded his hips against yours. You were nearly breathless when he pulled away and yet it felt like it had barely started.  “Someone’s in a hurry,” you said, watching as Ben hurriedly began to undress you, peeling your leggings off before going for your shirt. “Well,” he said, pausing appreciatively as he realised you hadn’t bothered with a bra, “Now that I’m thinking about your pussy....”  You laughed as he snapped the band of your underpants to emphasis his point and then quickly rolled them down your legs too.  “Well, here she is,” you bit your lip playfully as you spread your legs, offering Ben a view to rival his imagination. Ben grinned, the tip of his tongue poking out between his teeth before he leaned towards your cunt, holding your gaze. He looked ridiculously pleased with himself as he stuck his tongue further out and licked along your slit, noting the way you shivered in delight. You hummed as he repeated the action, settling back against the mattress as Ben settled into a rhythm. But, just as you were really starting to enjoy it, the first sign of your arousal pooling between your legs, Ben stopped.

With a slight groan of disappointment you pushed yourself up to see if there was a partiuclar reason he’d stopped touching you. The sight of Ben, rolled onto his back, legs in the air as his discarded his own pants and underwear, greeted you. Apparently he’d already managed to get his shirt off in the time it took you to sit up. You couldn’t help but giggle as his feet flicked through the air, trying to kick his pants off.  “And what is so funny?” “Nothing, Tiger. Just enjoying the show.” “Oh yeah? You like that, huh? Well what about,” Ben’s feet fell back to the bed and he raised his hips into the air as his fingers caught the waistband of his briefs.  You cheered him on as he tugged them down to this thighs and then raised his legs again to pull them off entirely. His arse was completely on display for you and you couldn’t quite resist the sudden urge to lean over and swat his cheek. “You’re a freak,” he laughed, flipping himself over and crawling towards you. Both of you were still laughing as he kissed you again, the comforting weight of his body pinning your down. You could feel the length of his dick resting against your thigh so slid your hand down to stroke it, feeling yourself getting wetter as he hardened against your palm.  “Why don’t you touch yourself for me Kitten,” Ben cooed, reaching down to wrap his fingers around your wrist, “Promise I don’t need any help getting ready for you.”  Your breath caught at the petname, a recent addition to your sexual dynamic but a fun one, and you did as Ben suggested, letting his guide your hand away from his cock. You were wet but not quite enough to take him comfortably. Ben kissed you again as your dragged your fingers through your folds, but it didn’t last long. He wanted to watch, sitting back on his knees to get a proper look at your fingers circling your clit.  “That’s right, keep going like that. I want to see you leaking over the sheets.” You were beginning to feel the familiar want growing in the pit of your stomach. That empty feeling that only Ben could properly fix. You groaned and let your fingers trail down towards your entrance. But before you could sink any of them into the wet heat of your cunt, you felt your walls softly stretch around one of Ben’s.  “Is that what you needed Kitten?” “Yeah, thanks,” you managed to get out between shaky breaths, resuming the previous attention on your clit. “Any time,” Ben chuckled, slowly pulling his finger out of you, circling your hole, and sliding it back in a little deeper. You keened as Ben began to finger you, getting the one finger as deep as he could before he added a second.  Your orgasm grew steadily closer as you adjusted to the width of his fingers and Ben’s touch became less delicate, your own speeding up with his. And then his touch disappeared.

For the second time you looked up, pushing yourself to rest on one elbow, wondering where he’d gone and why he was teasing you. You kept working your fingers over your clit but it wasn’t quite the same and you couldn’t help but whine as you felt the loss acutely.  Ben didn’t bother to reply. Words would just waste time. Instead he grasped one of your shins, adjusting your leg so it was closer to your body but spread further, as he shuffled forward on his knees. His dick was harder than when you’d felt it before and he wrapped his fist around the stiff length to guide it towards your waiting pussy.  You’d thought his fingers had felt good but it was nothing to the way he filled you then, pulling a moan from you faster than you’d have believed possible. Ben leaned forward on his knees as he sank into you, pulling out slowly after a moment and then pushing forward again, letting you get used to feeling.  “C’mon Benny, fuck me,” you whined, the fingers on your clit faltering as he gave you a sharp thrust, “Yeah, like that.”  Ben nodded, looking as if just swallowing was a challenge, let alone getting out words. He dropped his hands to your stomach, slowly sliding them up until he was cupping your breasts, his thumb and forefinger circling around the underside of them so he could feel them bounce with each jolt of his hips.  You tried to keep rubbing your clit but keeping yourself upright was a struggle so you shifted your hand away, better able to prop yourself up on two elbows than just the one.  Ben didn’t seem to mind, focusing his energy on fucking you hard and deep. It seemed that, now he was inside you, his eagerness had been tempered and he had no qualms with drawing the moment out.  “Jesus Y/N,” he grunted as you clenched without warning, his hips stuttering out of time as you kept him from drawing back as far as he had been.  You just whined in response.  “Fuck this is hot. Watching how you take me. How perfect your cunt looks stretched open on my cock. I’m going to fuck you until your cunt is red and sore from how well I’ve used it. And I’m going to watch the whole time.” You whined again, louder and more urgently, as his words went straight to your core, making you clench again.  “Does that mean you want to cum?” Ben teased, knowing full well how close you were getting.  It was harder to see the funny side of his comments when your whole body felt tense with an impending orgasm. The torturous stopping and starting he’d put you through had only heightened your need and the lack of clitoral stimulation made you desperate for more. Ben had managed to get you off with just penetration once or twice but it was never as good as the combination of his dick moving inside you and your clit being played with. And he knew that’s how you liked to get off best.

Ben gave your breast a quick squeeze before he shifted his hand, his thumb finding your clit and rubbing it. You clenched at the sudden added stimulation and moaned, loudly, your orgasm rocketing towards you as you balled the sheets up in your fists. Your arms felt unstable as Ben speared into you harder, trying to push you over the edge, perfectly filling you.  “Oh, oh, oh!” you choked out, right on the precipice of release.  Ben grit his teeth as his hips slammed towards yours a few times, his balls slapping against you with the motion.  It was enough. A final push to get you over the edge, the cry of ecstasy catching in your throat along with your breath. Ben swore and groaned as your pussy tightened with your release, making an effort to keep fucking you, though it wasn’t easy to maintain an even pace.  You managed to choke out his name as your arms gave out and you collapsed on your back, panting.  Ben pulled out but you barely noticed, so overtaken by the warm pleasure of your orgasm. It wasn’t until he grunted and you felt the first drops of his cum hitting your stomach that you realised he’d wanked himself off over you. You lay still as spurt after spurt hit you, watching as well as you could as his fist continued to pump over his length, milking every last drop from his cock.  Finally he sat back, sounding a little breathless.  Slowly you pushed yourself to sit up, “Well?” “Well what?” “Did you get it out of your system? Can you just sit and read or whatever for a while now?” Ben shrugged, “It helped. Might get bored again pretty soon though,” You laughed, “Well don’t expect a repeat any time soon. I’m quite content to finish my book.” “Aww c’mon,” Ben was struggling not to smile too much, “Don’t pretend you weren’t extremely turned on by the idea of fucking you until you’re sore.” You ignored him, turning towards the beside draws so you could find something to clean up with. “You could keep reading if you wanted. Wouldn’t have to do anything except lie there, I promise. And I’d just fuck you and fuck you and fuck you until I wasn’t bored anymore.” You gave a thoughtful hum, “Just lie there you say?”

[pucksnsticksnhockeyboys]

drive you crazy

summary: there’s absolutely no way you and Matt have feelings for each other, right?

warnings: mentions of past drinking 

word count: 5.1k

note from the writer: my love for sam and rasmus really jumped out in this one, huh. let me know what you think!

Matthew Tkachuk was a constant presence in your life no matter how much you wished he wasn’t. He was loud, cocky, and it absolutely did not help that he knew just exactly how attractive he was.

Not that you found him attractive, of course.

When your roommate and closest friend, Jen, started dating Matt’s teammate Sam Bennett, you were introduced to a whole roster of boys. They were all nice enough, and you quickly developed close friendships with a few. Except, well—

“Matt’s here, and I need you to entertain him.”

“No, absolutely not.” You put your foot down, not caring how much you sounded like a child. Jen pouted, slipping fully into your room and shutting the door. It did little to block out the sound of two raucous hockey players laughing at something in your living room.

“This is the third time this week Matt has crashed our date night and I really need you to just get him out of my hair.” Jen pleaded, sitting on the edge of your bed. You were under the covers, the next episode of your favorite show queued up on your laptop. The last thing you needed was to have Matthew ruin your evening.

“Can’t you just tell him to leave?” You argued, pointing out the obvious while ignoring the blatant fact that Matthew was stubborn and would never be convinced to do something if he truly didn’t want to.

“He won’t listen to us, you need to tell him.” You couldn’t hide the roll of your eyes at her words.

“And what makes you think he’ll listen to me?” If you had known what Jen’s response would be before you asked the question, you would have kept your mouth shut. Instead, you watched in confusion as a grin grew across her face, the one that you knew meant nothing but trouble.

“Because he’s like, in love with you.”

And that was truly something funny, because it couldn’t have been further from the truth. You laughed loudly, knowing there was absolutely no way that he liked you, let alone loved. Your dynamic with the curly-haired forward was defined by constant bickering and backhanded comments—not loving glances and hidden feelings.

“I’m serious! He’ll do anything you say.” Jen added, sensing your disbelief. This was far from the first time she had alluded to Matt’s so-called feelings for you, but she never had been so direct.

“Yeah, right.” You snorted. Jen didn’t say anything at first, and instead shot you a challenging look and stood from the edge of your bed. Her smug look never once waverd as she opened your bedroom door, and without looking away from you called out to the boys in your living room.

“Matt! Can you go with Y/N to the grocery store?” You rolled your eyes at her question. You didn’t need to go to the grocery store, it was just a rouse so she and Sam could have some alone time. Why they couldn’t just go to his place, you weren’t sure, but you were torn out of your thoughts when Matt’s response came soon after.

“Yeah, does she need a babysitter?” His voice was light and it was clear that he was teasing, but you found yourself pouting. Jen grinned, gesturing wordlessly to you as if she was declaring victory in the situation. You hadn’t considered it a competition, but if it was, you figured she was far from winning.

“That doesn’t prove anything.” You huffed, shutting your laptop. As much as you didn’t want to go, you knew from the moment Jen asked you that you would. She was your best friend, and if spending some time with Matthew meant she got some alone time with her boyfriend she already struggled to see as a result of hectic schedules, you would put up with the menace.

“Mhm.” Jen hummed, clearly not believing a word you said. Before either of you could say anything else, your door was pushed the rest of the way open and Matt was standing in your doorway, his typical smug grin on his face.

“It’s nine o’clock and you’re already in pajamas?” He teased upon spotting the sleepshorts and oversized t-shirt you had put on. Making your way to the closet, you briefly acknowledged Jen shooting you one last look before slipping out.

“Not all of us need to stay out every night.” You shot back, pulling out a pair of sweatpants and sweatshirt to wear as a defense against the Calgary cold. Tossing the clothes on your bed, you turned to see Matt still standing in your doorway. “Can you leave so I can get changed?”

“Are you sure you want me to leave?” Cocky smirk on full display, it took everything in you not to throw something at him.

“Matthew.” You warned with a glare leveled at him. He raised his hands as if he was claiming innocence, and you rolled your eyes at his response.

“Kidding.” He chuckled lowly, before finally leaving the room. You sighed once the door was shut, running your hands down your face to try and rid yourself of the image of Matt grinning handsomely.

It’s Matthew, you reminded yourself. The same Matthew that took joy in critiquing every guy you mentioned you were interested in with a harshness you had only seen in his eyes on the ice. Not that you paid much attention to him while he was on the ice. The point was, you should not be letting Jen’s words get to you.

Matt didn’t like you, he liked annoying you.

Hurrying to get changed, you met Matt waiting for you in the hallway outside your bedroom. He had been mindlessly scrolling through his phone, but upon hearing your door open and shut, he shoved the device into his pocket and looked to you with a grin so wide he rivalled the Cheshire Cat.

“Ready?” You questioned, hoping to avoid finding out what exactly was making him so smug and keep things civil. You weren’t sure exactly how long you were supposed to entertain Matt, but you’d rather spend as little time with him bickering as possible.

“Nice sweatshirt.” He commented, and you had to look down and see which one you grabbed. It was an old Flames one that didn’t even technically belong to you. You weren’t sure why Matt was so smug about seeing you supporting his team, since you’d been to your fair share of games.

“Thanks, Rasmus gave it to me when I spent the night at his a few weeks ago after we all went drinking.” You explained absentmindedly. While you spoke, you began heading towards the front door, so you missed the way Matt’s expression fell. You did see Jen’s smug grin, and watched Sam shoot Matt a look you didn’t have time to decipher. “See you guys later.” You waved with one hand while the other reached up to grab your car keys. Before you could get them off the hook, though, Matt’s hand shot forward and snatched them up.

“I’m driving.” He grinned. A dozen and one protests came to mind, but you chose to simply roll your eyes and head out the door. You heard Jen shout something along the lines of ‘use protection’ before she was shut out by the door, and you opted to ignore her teasing. You glanced at Matt out of the corner of your eye, and to your surprise you noticed a faint blush on his cheeks.

You scrolled through your phone as you waited for the elevator, trying to ignore the fact that your perfect evening plans of a night in were ruined by Matt. Well, Matt and Jen. The elevator arrived and only once you were both inside and the doors were shut, did Matt clear his throat to get your attention.

“So what do you need at the store?” He sounded genuinely curious, and you couldn’t help but snort at his question. The sound drew a smile out of him, and you briefly wondered why your heart fluttered as it did. “What’s so funny?”

“I don’t need anything, Jen just wanted me to get you out of the apartment so you’ll stop third-wheeling her and Sam.” You explained with a lightness to your voice that usually wasn’t present when you were with Matt. He let out a loud laugh just as the elevator doors opened, and you followed him out.

“Well, I’m not going to hang out at a grocery store if you don’t need anything.” He explained as he led the way out of your building and towards where your car was always parked. You watched in curiosity as he moved to the passenger side of your car, and your brows tugged together in confusion as Matt opened your door for you.

“What are you doing?” You asked skeptically. You were certain there was going to be some joke in there somewhere, but you couldn’t find it and he didn’t seem like sharing it.

“Being a gentlemen?” He replied with just as much confusion as you. You tried to hide the way your lips quirked up in a grin, but he noticed and repeated the action himself.

“I didn’t know you knew how to do that.” You quipped as you climbed into the passenger seat. Matt didn’t take your comment too seriously, and instead you heard him chuckle as he gently shut your door. In the time it took for him to go around the car and get in on the driver’s side, you thought about why he was being so nice.

Maybe Jen did have a point.

No, he was Matt and you were you. You weren’t exactly friends, so you definitely weren’t anything more. But the way he was acting was definitely something more. Your heart started to race and you wanted to kick yourself, but you couldn’t exactly do anything about it as the driver’s side door opened and Matt slipped in.

“So, where are we going then?” You asked, hoping the mundane question would help calm your sudden and completely new nerves. Except, the universe was apparently not on your side, because in response Matt shot you a wide grin and you felt a circus of butterflies flutter inside you that had never been there before.

“It’s a surprise.” He told you, backing out of your parking spot. You busied yourself with plugging the aux cord into your phone and picking music, giving yourself time to compose yourself.

“I don’t like surprises, Matthew.” You replied, hoping that now since the silence in the car was filled by music, it wouldn’t be so awkward.

“You can call me Matt, you know.” He told you, casting a glance towards you with an unreadable expression in his eye before focusing back on the road. Your brows tugged together in confusion at his words, and he must have seen the look on your face because he elaborated before you had the chance to voice anything. “You always call me Matthew, but you can call me Matt.”

“Okay, well, Matt,” you emphazied, drawing a laugh out of him. “I don’t like surprises.”

“I’ll give you a hint. It’s someplace we’ve both been together.” And while you still were confused about where he was taking you, it certainly narrowed the list down. There wasn’t a lot of places you had been with Matt, considering that you and him were little more than people who bickered often and happened to share close mutual friends. There wasn’t even a title for the type of relationship you and Matt had.

“You’re not taking me to a bar, are you? It’s a Tuesday, Matt.” You groaned, jumping to conclusions about where he was taking you. If you were hanging out with him outside your apartment, it usually meant everyone was going out drinking. And since your apartment was currently off limits, you assumed he was taking you to the usual bar he and the boys always picked.

“It’s not a bar.” He chuckled brightly at your response. You couldn’t help it, you found your self smiling softly at him as he focused on the road. Calgary’s night lights lit up his face and you distantly wondered if that was the reason he had been driving you crazy all night—a different type of crazy than he usually made you. You knew you were in danger when the corners of his lips turned up in the smug way they typically did, but it was too late. “You’re staring.”

“Am not.” You defended childishly. At this point, you were just trying to save face. He chuckled at this, turning his attention fully to you. It was then that you realized that at some point, Matt had pulled into a parking spot and you hadn’t even noticed.

“You’ve been staring.” He teased, smug look on his face that you couldn’t argue because no matter how much it pained you to admit, he was right. Instead, you opted to roll your eyes and look at where Matt had taken you.

“Frank and Mary’s?” You questioned, unrestrained glee in your voice as your head whipped from the diner to Matt. Frank and Mary’s was a hole in the wall diner that you frequented while either drunk or hungover, and one time you had dragged not only Sam and Jen there one night, but Matt and a litany of others. It was your favorite, and you remember telling the others that countless times.

“I figured we could get milkshakes and fries and not tell my trainer about it.” You laughed at this, a real and genuine laugh and Matt’s grin turned into a real and genuine smile. “Good idea, right?”

“You were bound to have one eventually.” You teased, though there was no trace of malice in your words. Matt smiled at you for a moment longer, his gaze softening and you felt his studying his face. You coudn’t get mad at him for it, you had been caught staring at him only moments earlier, but it was more than that. You didn’t want to get mad at him for it.

“Let’s go inside, yeah?” He cleared his throat, looking anywhere but you. A frown etched by confusion found home on your features as you tried to understand his change in behavior. Nonetheless, you got out of your car after him, smiling politely as he held the diner door open for you.

You picked a booth to sit in, and Matt didn’t complain as he sat opposite you. The time before the waitress arrived was spent silently shedding coats and avoiding the other’s eye. You smiled politely as the waitress set two menus on the table and got her notepad out to write down orders.

“What can I get you guys?” She asked sweetly, looking between you and Matt. You opened your mouth to order, but he beat you to it.

“Two chocolate milkshakes and an order of fries, please.” He said, handing her the menus back. You nodded, affirming that was your order before she slipped away to start making them. You raised a brow at Matt, a wordless question of why he knew your order. “You may have mentioned they’re your favorite once or twice the night you dragged us here.”

“They’re really good.” You defended meekly, having a hard time forming a thought that wasn’t why would he remember that and other things about him that weren’t useful at the moment. Matt chuckled, and for a moment it was quiet again. You smiled softly at him, and he readily returned it, but something flashed in his eyes as his gaze fell to the sweatshirt you were currently wrapped up in.

“So, you and Rasmus, huh?” He tried to sound nonchalant, but you heard an edge in his tone. Your brows scrunched together in confusion as you tried to understand the meaning of his words, and when it clicked, your eyes widened.

“There is no me and Rasmus. We’re just friends.” You assured him, unsure of why you felt a need to make it clear to him that you weren’t seeing one of his teammates, or anyone, for that matter. He was Matthew, the guy that drove you crazy and annoyed you with his constant teasing comments. The guy that was always at your apartment, third wheeling Jen and Sam until they either kicked him out or he found his way to your room to bother you.

The guy you wouldn’t mind kissing every once in while.

“You sure about that?” Matt questioned with a ghost of his usual smug grin, dragging you out of your earth-shattering thoughts. You wanted to kiss Matthew. You wanted to kiss Matthew. You. Matthew. You and Matthew.

Well, that was a problem.

“Yes, I’m sure, you dick.” You teased, hoping your words didn’t reflect that you were freaking out. That you weren’t going crazy about the idea that maybe all your so-called annoyance at him was just some ploy to cover up your feelings for him, a ploy so clever that not even you knew about it. “Guys don’t like me like that.”

“Well, that’s not true.” Matt interrupted your mental panic, because you absolutely had not meant to voice that to him. It was a subtle confession about how he didn’t like you like that, Rasmus and any other guy being the furthest thing from your mind.

“What?” You questioned rapidly, hoping that maybe he was making a not-quite confession like you had. That maybe he liked you and he wasn’t just trying to be nice.

“Hm?” He hummed, as if he hadn’t said anything and suddenly all your hopes came crashing down around you. Both of you were saved from having to come up with something to say, because just then the waitress returned.

“So, is this date night?” She made small talk as she set the first milkshake in front of you. You weren’t sure who was flushed more, you or Matt, but either way you were rushing to shake your head while he cleared his throat awkwardly.

“Nope.” Matt’s smile was tight as his gaze met yours in a moment that felt charged with something you couldn’t place. “We’re just friends.”

You had two weeks to figure out why the statement made your stomach twist the way it did. Two weeks before you saw Matt again.

“Matt’s coming tonight.”

“Okay.” You told Jen, not looking up from your phone as you scrolled through it on the couch. You didn’t have to look up to see the confused look she gave you, and when you saw her out of the corner of your eye stand before you with her hands on her hips, you sighed and looked up.

“Okay? What do you mean okay? You’re never okay when Matt’s here.” She questioned, and you couldn’t help the grin that made it’s way onto your face at the way she was so perplexed by you being nice to Matt.

“Aren’t you the one that wants me to be friends with him?” You teased, locking your phone and dropping the device into your lap. An expesperated look crossed Jen’s face, and you felt as if you were being scolded by a parent.

“No, I want you to be more than friends with him. And I need that to happen tonight because I have a bet with Sam and—” She started explaining, and you sat up as she piqued your curiosity with her last few words.

“What? You have a bet on Matt and I?” You asked, waving hand around to cut off her rambling.

“Yes, because it’s so obvious that you two belong together!” She didn’t even pretend to be ashamed by her actions, and you couldn’t find it in you to be mad at her. After all, you did have a similar bet going on when she and Sam first started seeing eachother—but that was different. Sam clearly liked her, while Matt was just another of your friends.

“You’re ridiculous.” You told her flatly, leaning back against the couch once more. She scoffed at this, reminding you once more that somehow you ended up in a position to be scolded by her like you were a child.

“And you’re blushing.”

“Am not!” If you weren’t before, you definitely were then, and you wanted nothing more than to have the ground open up and swallow you whole. So what if the idea, however unlikely, of Matt liking you made you flushed. You were only human, after all.

“Mhm, keep denying it.” She hummed, clearly amused by the whole situation. You shook your head, grabbing your phone and standing from the couch. You began your retreat to your room, Jen hot on your heels.

“I don’t have a thing for Matt, he drives me crazy.” You told her, a little white lie. Because he did drive you crazy, but no longer in the ‘he’s so annoying, I want him leave’ way, but in a ‘he’s so annoying, I want him’ way.

“That’s because you—” She called after you, grin evident in her tone despite not even looking at her.

“Don’t finish that.” You warned, sitting on the edge of your bed. Your suspicions had been correct, Jen was grin smugly ear to ear and you couldn’t help but roll your eyes at her.

“I’m just saying!” She defended herself, as if she was innocent in the situation. You shot her a pointed look, but decided to not comment further.

“Whatever, it doesn’t matter. I’m going to be in my room, I’m not up for hanging out tonight.” You sighed. It wasn’t a lie, you weren’t in the mood to be around everyone after a tiresome day at work and an exhausting two weeks dealing with your unrequited feelings for Matt. Jen pouted, but knew when to back off. She sent you a pitiful smile and told you to have fun, but was interrupted by a knock at the door. With one last look, she slipped out of your room and shut your door behind her.

As soon as she was gone, you changed into a pair of leggings and a sweatshirt, a considerable upgrade from the uncomfortable work clothes you had previously been wearing. Crawling into bed, you opened your laptop and put on your favorite show. It didn’t take long for your mind to wander, especially when you heard the boys and Jen laughing at something in the living room. From what you could tell, it was more than just Matt and Sam, recognizing the voices of Johnny, Sean, and Rasmus before a knock at your bedroom door startled you.

“Come in.” You called, only half surprised to see Matt stick his head in the door. He grinned at you, and you waited for the comment about you being antisocial and curled up in bed, but it never came.

“Why aren’t you out with everyone?” He asked, sounding genuinely curious. He stepped into the room fully, and you feared he could hear your heart pounding as he shut the door behind him.

“I don’t feel like it tonight.” You explained with a shrug. “Why aren’t you?”

“I wanted to see you.” He explained as if it was that simple. As if your mind currently wasn’t racing a thousand miles a minute to try and decipher what that meant. He sat on the edge of your bed, body turned towards you. You noticed a faint blush on his cheeks, and you briefly wondered if you looked just as flustered. “I’m kinda waiting for you to tell me to leave.”

“Would you even listen if I told you that?” You grinned, watching with a warm feeling in your chest as his smile widened and he chuckled.

“Is that an invitation to stay?” He hummed before kicking off his shoes and standing. And, well, you didn’t exactly say no as he pulled back the edge of your comforter and climbed in beside you. Before you really knew it, you were curled into Matt’s chest with his arm around you as he sat up against your headboard, laptop playing a show you truly couldn’t be bothered to pay attention to anymore.

Your head was tucked under his chin with a hand resting on his chest. You could feel the steady rise and fall of his chest, but also the rapid beating of his heart. You tried not to think that maybe you were making him nervous, because that would just lead to you getting your hopes up. Instead, you focused on the way his fingers were trailing absentmindedly up and down your arm, the other resting innocently on the crook of your knee that he had hitched across his lap shortly after laying down.

It was another two episodes before the silence was broken between you and Matt for something more than him making a comment about the characters or how he was completely lost on the plot. Two of the characters in the show were confessing their love for each other, and as soon as the scene started, you felt Matt’s already rapidly beating heart increase in pace. Deciding you throw caution to the wind, you called his name softly. He only hummed in response, eyes glued to the screen, so you paused the show and called his name again. This time, you earned his full attention, brows drawn together in confusion in such an adorable way you felt your confidence slipping away.

Now or never, you thought.

“Why is your heart beating so fast?” You asked, and then immediately wanted to kick yourself. It wasn’t the question you wanted to ask, but it was better than nothing, you supposed. You weren’t expecting Matt you laugh, though, and hold you just a little bit tighter to avoid having to answer. Your hand settled back over his heart to prove to yourself it really was beating abnormally fast, and when he wouldn’t meet your gaze, you called his name again. “Matty.”

And if you thought that his heart was beating quickly before, after the simple nickname fell past your lips, you thought he’d explode.

“It’s ‘cause of you.” He mumbled, your own heart picking up in pace. He was suddenly being shy, and you were certain you had never seen Matthew Tkachuk shy, at all, ever.

“What?” You asked for clarification, not wanting to get ahead of yourself. All signs were pointing towards what you hoped for, but you needed to be certain.

“You drive me crazy.” He confessed, his blue eyes finally meeting yours head on. You propped yourself up on your elbow so your face was level with him, and even though he was right beside you with an arm around you, you felt miles away as you tried to process what he said.

“Matthew…” You said softly after a moment, knowing that you needed to say something. He must have interpreted your lack of response as something bad, because the hopeful look on his face fell and he began backtracking.

“I know that I annoy you and that you don’t like me, but I had to tell you. I can go—” He started, and when he grabbed the covers as if to climb out of your bed you snapped to reality, grabbing his hand and effectively halting his movements.

“Matthew.” You stated, a lot more firmer than you had moments before. A grin grew on your face, and you saw his shoulders visibly relax. “Shut up for a moment, please?” A smile toyed with the corners of his lips and he nodded, but otherwise he complied. “You do annoy me.”

A puzzled look crossed his face—that clearly wasn’t what he thought you’d say.

“You’re annoying and yet, somehow, that’s endearing. We bicker and tease each other but at the end of the day I don’t actually hate you. And I don’t think I could ever actually hate you.” Your confession was quiet, and as you finished you used your free hand to cup his jaw. He leaned into your touch slightly, the simple act nearly melting you entirely. “You drive me crazy, too, Matthew.”

It was almost as if he couldn’t stop himself then, surging forward to connect your lips in a kiss you hadn’t realized you had been waiting months for. He was much more gentler than you thought he would be, but as the kiss went on he had you pressed into the mattress. When he finally pulled away so you both could catch your breath, he was hovering over you, bracing himself with his arms so not to lay his full weight on you.

“A good crazy, I hope.” Matt teased, grin wide and happy before he ducked down for another kiss. You giggled against his lips, revelling in the way you felt ten times lighter after confessing your feelings. Knowing that how you felt was reciprocated washed away any worries you had, and the smile you wore was truly genuine.

“A very good crazy.” You affirmed, looking at him with adoration. You brushed your hand through his curls that you wished he would grow out and take better care of, your hand settling on the back of his neck to gently guide him down for another kiss. You were so lost in Matthew that you didn’t hear your door open.

“I called it!” Jen announced loudly, causing Matt to roll off of you in shock. You glared at your roommate while the rest of the boys groaned, muttering complaints about how Jen won the bet or how Matt should have just waited a few days.

“Jen!” You threatened while flustered. Matt dropped his head back against your pillows, clearly annoyed at his teammates for interrupting while you were just embarrassed. It wasn’t a big deal, you knew, but it wasn’t exactly enjoyable having your roommate walk in on you making out with someone. Especially the someone she had been trying to get you to go out with for what seemed like forever.

“We’re leaving. You two have fun.” Sam winked at Matt, and when Matt shot you a look, you frowned and swatted at his shoulder. He laughed at your response, letting you know he had been just teasing.

“Use protection!” Jen shouted her favorite line as Sam pulled her out of the room and Johnny shut the door with a smug grin you weren’t used to seeing from him. You groaned as soon as your friends left, flopping back against your pillows and earning a chuckle from Matt.

“I change my mind.” You huffed, grabbing Matt’s hand and toying with his fingers to distract yourself from your friend’s interruption. He shot you a curious look, and your heart raced at the thought that he was finally yours. “They drive me crazy.”

“As long as I’m the only one that gets to kiss you.” He mumbled, having already leant down to connect your lips together. You hummed against him, fingers curling into his hair as he pulled back slightly to admire you.

“That, you are.”

[sleeping-lilies]

Title: I Get Tim a Cat Because It’s What He Deserves (oh and i guess a group chat 🙄)

a batfam/wayne family groupchat would literally never happen in canon but it would be so fucking funny you all don’t even know, so i will do it anyways.

the chat just kinda... starts. no one know where it came from. who added them. who??? none of their emotionally stunted asses would be caught dead making making a family chat tf? why can’t any of them leave? they smash their phones and then on their laptop a notification pops up like “you’ve joined ‘x’ group” and they’re stuck there. might as well use it ig, but for what???

“everyone who is alive type ‘i’” no one responds so bruce spends hours trying to find out where their bodies are until he finds out everyone just had the chat on mute

“why isn’t alfred on here” “huh. alfred isn’t on here and no one knows who made the chat?” “so whoever made it just left immediately?” “...” “lol anyways”

tim was trying to send a snap to the core four gc but accidentally sent it to the family chat and gets super embarrassed (of course this happens when everyone’s online why wouldn’t they if it makes tim’s life more difficult) and everyone makes fun of him. duke printed out copies and plastered them all over tim’s apartment while tim was out for something and tim nearly murders duke. after that no one puts the chat on mute because this was too funny.

no one actually, like, texts on a regular basis because they’re not like other families 🙄 they only text if it’s really important or someone’s dying.

that’s being said, “dick where is dog” “send doggy” “dog?” “send doggy” “dick when did you get a dog?” “SEND DOGGY” “i demand you send the dog this instant” “dog now.”

damian breaks into dick’s apartment to take a selfie with him and haley (or bitewing, haley is just shorter to type) captioned “she is mine this is a warning to all of you. i will not hesitate if any of you low lives come near her.” and dick is like “??? this is my dog i can’t have anything these days, siblings take everything, man—” oh ya, everyone reacts to the haley photo with a heart. also dick only lets this shit slide with damian, if jason the problem child pulled this shit it would be on sight lmfaooo

- tim: the dog is cute but, but in photography i learned you have to crop out everything unimportant, like this *crops out damian from the photo*

- in other news, tim joined the dead bats club and now only bruce and duke are left 😃🔪

bruce: check in if you are alive. *everyone’s status is online*

u don’t know about y’all, but my bruce wayne is a responsible father who keeps an eye on his kids, or at least does his best, “has anyone seen duke? he has school and i can’t find him” “i will find him... if you give me $50.” “i will give you the money jason just tell me where he is” jason sends a photo of himself and duke laying down on the floor eating pop tarts.

-“literally why do you all keep coming into my apartment” “our apartment, dick” “i pay for this apartment it’s mine, i keep living in blüdhaven for a reason, god, siblings always steal everything that’s your’s—” it’s ok guys dick simultaneously has eldest daughter’s syndrome and absent sibling syndrome, who is doing it like him? legend behavior. anyways, duke and jason left crumbs on the floor and dick beat them up lmao.

“can i have money” “dad” (theyre sent by same person just different text) “yes cass i will sent you as much as you need, $2,000 is enough for shipping with friends?” “dad can i have money too” “dad can i too” “may i have some too dad” “dad” “dad” fhdjdjsks they only call him dad when they’re dying, want something, or are tattling on each other, someone save him 😩

“@everyone the interviewer in the last segment asked me if we have a family chat and i have a feeling they will try to pry into my texts to see what we are texting, please actually send something so they don’t get even more nosy from our lack of communicating” *someone sends the bee movie script*

ok but like, as time goes on they get more comfy texting each other and acting like a normal(ish) family unit that texts a little more. like tattling.

“someone broke the vase in the hallway and if they don’t want me to tell pennyworth who did it they will buy alfred the cat a new scratching post by nightfall” damian is so funny i love him

“HELPPVHRNXKAK” “what’s up with jason?” “cass is sitting on him” “lol” “i think she’s gonna break his arm fhdjdksk” “ANDBSJ I HAT E YO U A LL” “when did you all come to the manor???”

“😂” bruce vs “lol” dick and cass vs “agdhsjak” tim and duke vs “hA” jason vs “i don’t find any of you funny” damian

“damian i am putting your lemon cake pop thingies in the last bottom shelf on the right, i put the code and everything in the safe” “how often does damian even come to your apartment, dick?” “whenever you’re being an asshole bruce” “he’s always an asshole dickhead 🙄” “exactly 🥰”

“dad guess what” “TIM NOOO” “remember when” “TIM TIM TIM” “you told duke to take the day shift” “I WILL NEVER POST YOUR SNAP PHOTOS TO A GROUPCHAT WITH THE ENTIRE SUPERHERO COMMUNITY AGAIN!!!” “and he agreed to if he did his school work first?” “MERCY, MERCY” “what did he do, tim” “fjdjxkskkz duke goes on school zoom meetings during patrol and pretends he doesn’t have a mic and camera and i was watching his helmet footage and it was so funny, the teachers just believe him when he pretends to have really bad network and can barely type in the chat” “my teachers never trusted me that much” “that’s because you made a kid cry once jason stfu” “wait how did u know that cass—“

“AHDBSNZKAJHF” “stfu duke” “what’s wrong with him where is he?” “cain came to visit” “ohhhh” “FHDJFJDJ HELLPPPXSND” “i know you’re taking a video, you little shit, send it” “no todd come here and take one yourself—or don’t, your presence is unwanted” “fucking brat”

“DAD DICK HIT ME” “DAD JASON’S LYING” *bruce wayne online* (he doesn’t fucking respond fhsjskla) (is it because he’s exasperated with them or crying because they called him dad even though it’s a manipulation tactic or both we’ll never know)

“everyone who is alive, type in chat” *everyone is online* then bruce edits the message to say ‘everyone who wants alfred’s cinnamon rolls, type in chat’ “i guess NO ONE wants alfred’s cinnamon rolls, how sad” and the entire chat goes wild lmfao

ok uhhh let’s do on a scale of 1-10 texts most vs is online the most

bruce: 6-texting, 5.9-online because he always makes an effort to text his kids to check up on them and when his kids are texting he will text as well here and there in the convo to interact with them because he never sees and interacts with them normally and he wants to do better 🥲. he get’s minus 0.1 because of that one time jason and dick were fighting and he logged off agdhsjnz

dick: 3-texting, 3.5-online because he’s the only one in this hellhole of a family that has an actual job (in this house we uphold gymnastics teacher grayson 🙏) and sometimes he won’t have energy to text. so. but he does make an effort when he can. he’s online more than he texts because he’s able to sneak looks at the fights when he has downtime during his job and wants to see the drama lmfaooo. also everything goes on in his fucking apartment for some reason, so now he gotta break up a (one sided) fight between cass and tim because someone has to be a responsible adult.

cass: 2-texting, 10-online because she watches more than she texts? she’s more content to watch what’s going on than to join in. also 8/10 she’s usually the one causing the drama that everyone’s texting about, like beating up the others, so she can’t text while beating them up. i mean she could, but she wants to put more energy in beating them up (lovingly) (cass is basically violence (loving)) and watching what everyone’s saying about her fights. she’s always online to catch a glimpse at the drama. also most of her texts are to dick to see bitewing. and ask for money.

jason: texting-8, online-4 because if cass is the one causing drama offline, jason’s causing drama online. jason wants to be chat cryptic but texts the most lmfaoooo. he’s antagonizing his siblings whenever he sees them and whenever he can’t, king shit. he’s online less because he deadass doesn’t care that much, he’ll read the texts later if he really wants to, otherwise either duke or tim will fill him in on the drama. (“jason ur in the chat too—“ “shut up, tim, now tell me how cass beat damian’s ass)

tim: texting-6.44444, online-10, see tim texts a lot just not to the family group chat lmfao, he has REAL FRIENDS 😤 uhh ya, that’s why he’s online all the time, cuz he’s either texting his friends or on his phone doing some shit. broke: tim stays up late working on cases, woke: tim stays up late texting his friends and playing video games over chat. tim just. interacts with his family, gets bullied by them, ya. that’s the life. also he and duke keep throwing hands because it’s the family curse to beat up tim and in this essay i will discuss how dick is the superior sibling because he never tried to kill tim—wait he probably pushed him down the stairs once nvm but it was totally justified, king

duke: texting-4, online-4 because he has, like, school. and daytime patrol. and is like a junior in high school and therefore has a fuck ton of homework. my boy has no time for family and he doesn’t want it because they’re annoying, obviously 🙄. if he wants drama he’ll go into damian’s room and get the drama. diy icon. he’s online as much as he texts but is so fast of a reader he’ll know the drama in time for the next episode of wayne family shit. most of his time online is picking fights with tim and roasting his siblings to a crisp. he’s so mean, guys, legend has it that one time duke told jason that his helmet looked like a shriveled up dildo and that it could never be the gay statement he wanted it to be jason went offline for that entire day in order to cry himself to sleep. at least he got sleep (allegedly) ayyy duke the problem solver.

damian: texting-1.5, online 2 because the only time he’s texting is to ask dick for photos of bitewing and to send photos of his pets back as proper payment. a negotiator ugghhh father like son. damian honestly doesn’t care about the drama he just wants to sketch bitewing (using the photos dick sent as reference) into the Family Portrait Sketch™️ of the rest of the Animal Family™️. it is an honor for damian to create such a piece, picasso the women hater quakes in his grave as such art that blows his dog shit “art” FAR out of the water is developing. anyways, he goes online for that and to throw random barbs at his siblings. like no one is online and damian just throws a “drake is stupid” in chat and just dips. he’s online more to text the other teen titans and jon because they’re better than his dumbass family (and he texts grayson on messenger so fhdjdjsks) true chat cryptic, jason envies him

alfred: 0-texting, 10-online. huh who said that

“duke take down the tik toks, tim is crying”

“who has my sweatshirt??? i will kill you all” “i have it jason” “nvm cass that’s your sweatshirt now i’m sorry for being presumptuous don’t aTTACK ME” fhdjdjsks

“guys i have the day off do you want to hear when delilah said to jonathon it’s so funny” “are those the kids in your gymnastics class?” “ya” “tell us everything”

the bats just... love hearing drama about those kids because they’re so dramatic. apparently alex threw a rubber ball at maya and she tackled them. wild.

time for a round of: WHO SAID IT?!?!

“how do i make my text bold like the rest of you?” —bruce, dick, cass, and jason at some point.

“how do i change my screen name? please change it back to before” -cass when tim changed her name to “hal jordon #1 stan” (“what is a stan” —bruce), (“i don’t like it either change it back” —bruce after finding out what a stan is)

“what the fuck is a pog” —jason

“fucking ‘tik tok’. we used to use vine when i was a teen. i was a front line soldier of great disasters” —dick on one hand lmfao dick is so old but on the other hand holy shit you used vine??? tell us more about the battles fought

“what is a dilf?” —bruce after scrolling through twitter

ok that’s all, my brain is gone.

“cass dick is turning purple get off him” “no. make him give me my scarf back.” “oh dad that’s terrible can you send a video as evidence?”

“GUYS I FOUND A CAT AND IT SCRATCHED ME AND IM GOING TO THE HOSPITAL BUT GUYS!!! CAT!!!” “drake send a photo of the cat immediately” lmfao bruce zooms to the hospital after that text

“GUYS THE CAT HAS AN OWNER I CANT KEEP THE CAT 🥲” “the one time you could prove to be of use and you fail, drake.” “wow tim, find a cat to steal without an owner next time” “timmy, timmy, timmy, i can’t believe you’ve messed up in finding a cat again” “again?” “again?” “again?” “when i adopt a cat i’m not showing any of you, i hate you all” (lmao hard version of guess who is who i’ll give you a hint dick cass and bruce are the confused ones. )ok it’s not hard anymore.

“dad please get me a cat 😳🐱 haha jk 🤣😩 unless 👀😏😃🙏🥰” anyways tim named the cat starry because of her fur-hair-thingy

“they just so you all know steph just crashed in my apartment and i have work in the morning” “i will pick her up in the morning” “you mean tim will, you don’t have a license, cass. anyways”

“dick do you need help moving?” “no, bruce, i think i can handle it, donna and wally are helping me anyways, but thank you” “mOVING???” “OUT OF YOUR APARTMENT???” “DICK THAT SAME APARTMENT ON 666 HELLHOLE AVENUE???” “...ya?” “NOOOOO” anyways they all break into dick’s new apartment when he moves in, walk around it, and then leave. they just... ya... damn, these bats...

anyways that’s all. see ya.