#hr institutes

[the-magnusinstitute]

Does the institute have HR?

No need for ‘human’ ‘resources’ when you’ve got Rosie with a baseball bat!

[cult-of-the-eye]

What on earth is going on in the house of commons in the Magnus Institute?? (Post mag 80) Did they fire him?? What is the workplace policy for dead body found in your office?? Did Jon quit?? Guess I'll find out

[elias-magnusnt]

uh- Elias?

i have... quite an unconventional favor to ask, but.

the institute is still hiring, yes? i htink i know someone who might be interested in a job?

-@not-qualified-for-your-bull

Yes, especially since we lost- hm.

I do appreciate employee recommendations, especially from someone with as much sense as you. I'll send a message down to HR, alright?

[isfjmel-phleg]

🙄

[iforimaginary]

The Humorous Creation Tale of The Magnus Institute’s HR Department:

My boyfriend and I have been sitting on this absolute gold mine of a headcanon and taking the mick out of it every chance we get in any fan-works of TMA we happen to create.

Small Disclaimer: This short story leans pretty heavily into Jonelias with a decent bit of Jmart on the side so if that isn’t your cup of tea, I apologise in advance.

Without further ado, let me paint you a picture…

↓↓↓

Ever since Jon had received the promotion, Elias has been getting rather tactile. It’s nothing you might regard as remotely worrying at first- a gentle touch of the elbow as he brushes past him in the corridors, an affirming hand on the shoulder after a particularly successful statement follow-up, a linger of his fingers upon Jon’s as he’d hand over a misplaced file. All in good faith… Jon would tell himself. It’s not like he particularly minded and it seemed like a frivolous concern to schedule a meeting over so he let it fly by.

To say that the situation ended up sorting itself out would be a blatant lie. As a matter of fact, it seemed to progressively get more severe and certainly way more noticeable.

Not only would Elias’s loitering contact grow more tenacious, but Jon’s schedule would appear to fill up with increasingly more impractical performance reviews. He was however compensated fairly enough with extended breaks and his superior’s persistent reminders that he absolutely ought to take more time to rest between his quests of digitalising archive data.

That all ended up succumbing to it’s final boiling point when Elias took it upon himself to give Jon a massage while he was seated in his office, door wide open, recording yet another trivial statement. Sometime during that encounter Jon allowed the other man’s artful hands to get lost under the unbuttoned collar of his shirt as he tipped his own head back to rest on Elias’s shoulder. He still didn’t particularly mind and the predicament definitely seemed to surpass any kind of concern one might schedule a meeting over.

However that would no longer be Jon’s call to make as Martin, who carelessly left his umbrella behind at his desk in the middle of British October, happened to witness the entire affair with incredibly sober clarity.

A few strings were pulled and one firmly but delicately worded conference with Elias later, a shiny novel HR Department was now in operation at The Magnus Institute under the supervision of none other than Martin K. Blackwood.

Needless to say Martin remained the only member of this particular department, which suited him just fine as actual HR concerns at the time were very few and far between (save for Tim’s pamphlets droning on about ridiculously short holiday allotments discretely slipped into the suggestion box). His primary heed was focused upon putting a stern halt to the ‘workplace harassment’ that Jon insistently argued against by trying to convince his researcher that, as far as he was concerned, it didn’t make him all that uncomfortable and could hardly even teeter on the edge of what would by definition be ‘harassment’. This however did nothing to sway Martin.

Soon enough Elias had a perpetually growing pile of small printed warning slips taking up precious drawer space which in a short enough span begun turning into fully typed HR Violations presented on intimidatingly yellow card paper. But sadly, as these things always tend to go, not much truly meaningful action ever ended up talking place. Who does one deliver the violations to when the one ‘violating’ is the head of an independent non-profit institution?

And so a new routine developed like clockwork; Elias would so much as graze past Jon when navigating The Institute, receive a glaringly yellow envelope the next day and proceed to stash it along with its predecessors. Eventually he learned to be more careful as he could only afford to allocate so much desk space to Martin’s inconsequential little game.

In the end all that really had to change was the ever late hour of Jon’s scheduled performance reviews…

[volunruud]

i can finally play fo4 again... i was so depressed about my son dying.. still am tbh.

[sassmill]

If I had a nickel for every time somebody at work went way out of line and was completely disrespectful to my entire department and we all said “I wish we had a real HR department” I could afford to quit this job and not care about how much I love my department

[the-magnusinstitute]

Heard somebody was planning to visit to fight a ghost. I’m not sure if that’s physically possible, but if so, do y’all permit ghost fisticuffs?

Permitted but not encouraged. It doesn’t count as violence against an employee so, technically, you can do as you wish. As long as the ghost isn’t on the payroll.

[softfists]

I love that "fuck you" feeling I get when some administrator is being dumb over email and I CC my advisor (doesn't fuck around, big name at the institution) into the thread who immediately shuts that shit down

[the-everqueen]

i would feel a lot more secure about my immediate future if HR would email me the forms they were supposed to have sent me a month ago.

[terrorbirb]

I SHOULD apply to jobs today but I just really don't feel like it. I found one to apply to, but now that I've thought about not moving it's harder to apply places that would require relocation.

Because that one job I was super qualified for apparently was filled before I applied, there is literally nothing in my city that makes me feel any positive emotion. They would all just be to get me out of my current job, which would be good, but I don't want a serious engineering job . I either want to do the academia or continue to design products. I don't want to like design cranes.

[birthdayplant]

the higher ups at my job got a 40 (FOURTY) percent raise while all the rest of us got 45 fucking cent raise…

[toasted-spiders]

do you ever drown in your own impossible academic ambitions do you ever realize that your low bar is most people's high bar do you ever hear an axe sharpening as the deadline draws near do you ever look at a blank page and hear nothing but the sound of your internal screaming do you ever

[megkuna]

my prof sent us a link to a marxist summer school program in some tiny greek island and no lie tearing up because i cannot imagine anything more dystopian.

[deadendtracks]

so a year ago when we all came back on site, we were down two people because of a retirement during the pandemic and a position that'd already been unfilled for a year BEFORE the pandemic. by august when my colleague retires, we will be down 5 people including the head of my department plus now the head of the whole division on top of those 5.

it's fucking ridiculous

and knowing all this all the librarians will still keep pestering us about why they haven't gotten their books yet because they expect books just process and catalog themselves i guess. do they advocate for fixing the manpower problem in my division and talk about why we need to hire catalogers no they do not

[nl-dalmia-institute-nldimsr]

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