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magicshopaholic · 2 months ago

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Interlude: Hyung Line

The one where the three oldest members of the group find themselves in deep shit

Summary: Namjoon returns to see everyone in a crisis. Seokjin has a conversation with his girlfriend, while Hoseok wonders if he's going to lose his best friend. Meanwhile, Yoongi ruminates on an impulsive decision.

Pairing: OT3 x OC (different OCs)

Genre: Humour, fluff, angst

Word count: 11.2 K

Rating: 18+

Warnings: language

A/N: It's been forever since I posted and I bring you... *an aftermath fic*!! Takes place the morning after A Stormy Night.

Tagging: @bbl32 @quarter-life-crisis2 @dreaming-with-happiness @faearchives @margopinkerton @purpleseoul7 @confessionsofamarshlily @jiminjhang @xjoonchildx @tarahardcore @infinitehobi @handfullofcandids @whoisbts @jihopesjoint @kflixnet (drop a message if you want to be added)

Listen to: "dope lovers" by dpr ian

seokjin masterlist | yoongi masterlist | hoseok masterlist | main masterlist

When Hoseok wakes up the next morning, it’s to slivers of sunlight through a soft mesh sort of thing on his face. He blinks and shifts slightly; it’s Chaeyoung’s hair, where his face was buried, and he squints towards the window where an apologetic looking sun has reared its head in the sky after a night of torrential rain.

He relaxes slightly; next to him, Chaeyoung hasn’t moved, her shoulders rising and falling peacefully with every breath she takes. His phone buzzes and he turns to reach for it.

Taehyung [08:45] Anyone need a ride to HQ? I’m leaving in a bit Although no one apart from Jungkookie seems to be in the dorm right now

Namjoon [08:48] I’ll reach on my own. I just got off a flight so I came to my apartment to take a shower.

Seokjin [09:00] I’ll reach on my own too.

Taehyung [09:01] Okay. Where were you last night?

Seokjin [09:01] Never you mind. I have my car.

Yoongi [09:02] Me too.

Hoseok stares at the screen, slowly licking his lips.

Hoseok [09:03] Me too.

Taehyung [09:04] This is not suspicious at all.

Jimin [09:04] I’m at my place with Sooah :D:D:D I’ll be there soon - but everybody don’t forget to be at the restaurant for her birthday lunch! No latecomers!

Taehyung [09:05] I take it your night turned out well after all?

Jimin [09:05] Yessss it did, god bless. I have the best girlfriend in the world - but I’ll tell you about it later. I mean it though - don’t be late for the lunch. Hobi hyung - you can bring Chaeyoung.

Hoseok stomach jolts.

Hoseok [09:06] That’s super random. She’s totally capable of coming on her own, you know? She’s not a kid anymore and I’m not responsible for her anyway.

Jimin [09:08] Errrr I meant because the roads are still a bit flooded so she may not want to walk to the bus stop. But I guess she can come on her own too.

Jungkook [09:09] I can pick her up on my way to the restaurant if you want, hyung.

Taehyung [09:09] You’re alive??? I knocked on your door at least twice last night but I heard nothing. I thought you died in there or something.

Jungkook [09:10] Oh yeah. I was really tired.

Taehyung [09:10] Lol, I’m sure.

Jungkook [09:10] @Namjoon How was your trip hyung?

Namjoon [09:11] Amazing Didn’t want to come back tbh

Jimin [09:11] That feels great to hear But I have a girlfriend now so I get it

Jungkook [09:12] Gross

Jimin [09:12] Don’t be bitter just because you’re single

Yoongi [09:13] Yeah go get laid instead

Taehyung [09:13] I still don’t know where half of you are though. How was everyone out last night despite that horrendous storm?

Namjoon [09:14] Yoongi hyung corrupting the children since 2013

Yoongi [09:14] Me? I think Hobi is doing enough of that for all of us

Hoseok [19:15] What! Of course not. Why even would you say that? What are you talking about

Yoongi [09:16] Sorry, I meant Seokjin

Seokjin [09:16] Errrrrrrr

Taehyung [09:16] I mean, is it me? Am I the lame one for having stayed home last night?

Yoongi [09:17] You were on your way to HQ last night, weren’t you?

Taehyung [09:17] No?

Yoongi [09:17] Not you

Namjoon [09:18] Did I leave my charger at the dorm?

Taehyung [09:18] No idea Speaking of which, you owe me a lock for my door

Namjoon [09:19] Excuse me?

Jungkook [09:19] Taehyung

Yoongi [09:20] Yeah and you need to return my aux cable. It’s still in your car. I couldn’t charge my phone last night and had to fight Miso to borrow hers

Hoseok [09:20] Wait you were with Miso last night?

Seokjin [09:21] @Namjoon I called you to check about the company HQ sleeping quarters too but you didn’t answer

Jimin [09:21] Oh yeah, Namjoon hyung - you weren’t here to give me a pep talk when my night for Sooah was going up in flames either. I had to call Taehyungie and Jungkook instead and they were no help at all!

Jungkook [09:22] Hey!

Taehyung [09:22] Hey!

Namjoon [09:22] One ridiculous problem at a time, please!

Hoseok frowns, already losing interest. He navigates away from the chat and scrolls through his messages, answering some and ignoring others, his eyes now somewhat getting used to the light of the screen. Just as he’s about to close the app, another message pops up.

Chanyeol [09:15] Up?

Hoseok [09:15] Just about

Chanyeol [09:16] Kk. Listen, are you going home anytime soon?

Hoseok [09:17] To Gwangju? Not part of the plan right now, no. Maybe Christmas? Why?

Chanyeol [09:17] We were planning when to go next. Hayoung’s parents are probably travelling end of the year so we’re trying to plan a trip when everyone we want to meet will be there at the same time.

Hoseok [09:18] And I’m part of that list? Chan, you honour me

Chanyeol [09:18] You’d think you wouldn’t be after 20 years of being friends but hey

Hoseok [09:18] You know Seoul is like a train ride away right? Why do you want to wait to hang out in Gwangju?

Chanyeol [09:19] Home and stuff

Hoseok [09:19] Hella senti, I have to say

Chanyeol [09:19] There’s the added bonus of Hayoung and I having to stay with our respective parents when we go home though

Hoseok [09:20] That’s what I’m saying! Come to Seoul

Chanyeol [09:21] I will… I just have to do a Gwangju trip soon. Hopefully when you’re there too

Hoseok [09:21] Why?

Chanyeol [09:22] Okay don’t say a word to ANYONE But I kinda want to ask Hayoung to move in

Chanyeol [09:23] Hoseok?

Chanyeol [09:24] Dude you’re freaking me out. Is that a terrible idea?

Hoseok [09:25] Nope Just recovering from MY MIND BEING BLOWN My boy’s growing up!!!

Chanyeol [09:25] Jesus You scared the shit out of me for a couple minutes there

Hoseok [09:26] I’m gonna dance my ass off at your wedding

Chanyeol [09:26] Whoaaa. Slow down there pop star

Chanyeol [09:27] Anyway, that’s why I want to go back. I want to do this thing where she’s at her parents’ house and I’m at mine and then I bring up all these rules that we used to have at home when we were kids and then just casually wonder what it would be like if we could make our own rules - in our own home.

Hoseok [09:28] Adorable Just adorable Still waiting for how my Gwangju plans fit into this though

Chanyeol [09:29] Are you kidding? I need you there for moral support!

Hoseok [09:29] So, like… hiding outside in the bushes while you’re talking to Hayoung?

Chanyeol [09:30] No, that would be creepy. But this might be the second most important question I ever ask in my life so I need you there. In town. In the vicinity. So I can plan and maybe make some kind of a grand gesture? Unless it’s stupid

Hoseok [09:30] No! Of course I’ll be there. Just let me know when

Chanyeol [09:31] I will. In any case, it doesn’t look like we’ll be able to go back until at least January so that gives me some time to prep.

Chanyeol [09:32] Thanks though. You’re a good friend. The best actually.

Hoseok stares at the screen, the smile on his face fading. The faint flowery perfume and the scent of skin on skin suddenly seems stronger. Something shifts next to him and he turns on his back with dread, faced with the sleeping form of his best friend’s half-naked younger sister.

—

“Everything okay?”

Seokjin looks up, instinctively locking his phone as Nari walks into the living room, stopping just shy of the edge of the carpet.

“Yeah. Just… the usual.” He shrugs, placing his phone next to him. He bites his lip, suddenly at a loss for words. “Did you sleep okay?”

“Mhm.” She nods, running her fingers through the top of her hair and letting it fall down one shoulder. “You? Was the sofa comfortable?”

“Oh. Yeah, totally.” He tries to suppress the urge to stretch his back. “How about you? Oh -“ He clears his throat when she frowns slightly. “Right. We just did you.”

Nari nods again, this time slower. “Listen, Seokjin, about last night -“

“Nari, about what happened -“

They pause at the same time and Seokjin feels his ears turn red, the same time as she chuckles awkwardly and looks away.

“You go,” offers Seokjin, regretting it almost immediately.

“No, no, please, you can go first.”

“No, I insist -“

Nari stares for a few seconds, looking hesitant. “I just wanted to say… don’t worry about it. We can just forget it.”

Seokjin processes this, his pulse slightly uneven. “Okay,” he says lightly. “Thanks for, uh… letting me sleep over.”

“I think I kind of forced you,” she reminds him. “I couldn’t quite have your hypothermia on my hands. They’d take away my medical license if I let you go back out in that rain. Oh, and take your time returning the clothes,” she adds suddenly. “Although I think that sweatshirt is yours, if I’m not mistaken.”

“Um -“ He looks down at the faded blue sweatshirt and grey joggers she’d lent him last night. “Oh, yeah. I stopped looking for this, like, three years ago. I thought I left it in some hotel in America.”

“Well, it would’ve been on eBay selling for a million dollars if that were the case,” she says teasingly.

Seokjin cracks a smile. Unlike last night when, for a glorious portion of an hour, things had felt almost normal, he feels more uncomfortable than ever. Part of him feels like screaming into a pillow, for it’s occurring to him now what a terrible position he’s put himself and Nari in, not to mention Seulgi, stranded in Big Hit.

“Oh.” The word escapes his lips before he realises. He scrambles off the sofa, running a hand through his messy hair. “I have to go… I need to pick up -“ He looks up at Nari.

“Yeah, no. That’s fine.” She nods. “I hope you don’t feel weird about last night, though.”

“I don’t.” He pauses. “I don’t feel weird about it,” he says clearly, but this isn’t the time to have this discussion. Not while his girlfriend is elsewhere, not until he’s done the right thing by her.

Nari looks like she’s about to say something but shakes her head at the last moment. “That’s good. I guess I’ll see you around?”

Seokjin observes her, bare face and slightly puffy eyes. She's biting her lip - he’d kissed those lips last night, he remembers and waits for his face to get hot again.

But it doesn’t. He nods. “Yeah. See you around, Nari.” He trudges out, squinting slightly at the sun and needing a coffee so, so badly.

“Seokjin.” She’s standing at the door when he turns and her eyes twinkle slightly in a way that makes his stomach leap hopefully. “Thanks for coming last night, though.”

It takes him a moment. “Of course. Happy half-birthday, Nari.”

The roads are unforgiving. Despite a lot of the water having been drained, the streets are still flowing with ankle deep water, leaves and debris strewn around everywhere, and entire roads blocked for repairs.

Seokjin reaches Big Hit almost thirty minutes later than he’d intended. Just as he’s about to drive into the basement parking, he spots Seulgi walking out of the front doors, one hand on the strap of her bag and the other holding her phone.

He immediately pulls into the front of the building and skids to a stop, accidentally splashing water from a puddle on her ankles.

“What the -“

“Sorry!” he exclaims apologetically, turning off the car and stepping out.

“Seokjin?” Her shoulders relax when she notices him - but she doesn’t smile. “What are you doing here?”

“Well, the roads are crap. Figured you might need a ride home?” he ventures.

“Oh.” She seems hesitant. Even after spending a whole night at the company sleeping quarters, she looks like she’s stepped out a shower and spent thirty minutes getting ready; there isn’t a hair out of place or a single crease in her clothing. Dressed in an ancient sweatshirt - and what he suddenly remembers with a shock are Nari’s joggers - he feels like a complete slob.

“Unless… you don’t want one.”

Seulgi stares at him. For a second, he thinks she might throw her phone at his face. But a moment later she shrugs.

“That would be nice. Thank you.”

It’s formal and slightly awkward, but Seokjin takes it as a good sign when she opens the passenger door and gets in. He drives mostly in silence; he isn’t sure what to say to her and figures he at least owes her a ride to her doorstep before they have this discussion.

This route is shorter, fortunately, and fifteen minutes later when he pulls up in front of her building, he takes a deep breath. Before he can get a word out, though, she speaks.

“We’re done, Seokjin.”

His heart jolts harder than he expected it would. “What?”

She continues looking out of the windshield, but her voice is calm yet steely. “I spent more time yesterday worrying about our relationship than on my presentation. And that’s not me. Neither is getting in the middle of a situation as messy as yours and Nari’s, but -“ She scoffs without humour.

Seokjin isn’t sure what hurts more: the fact that he wasn’t expecting this right now, or the fact that he can’t help but agree with her.

“Seulgi… I know I haven’t been a good partner lately. I know that and you deserve -“

“Don’t tell me what I deserve. Please,” she says, still calm, but this time he thinks he can hear her voice tremble slightly. “I think you tried. Trying to call me the last few weeks, checking up on me last night, picking me up right now… you’ve been raised to be a decent guy.” She shakes her head and looks out her window. “But it really loses its charm when there’s another woman in the picture.”

Shame trickles down Seokjin’s spine but he forces himself to listen to her and absorb every single word. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know what I felt for Nari - and I still don’t, but I never meant to -“

“Really? Is that why you’re wearing a pair of pants with her name printed on them?”

His heart stops.

“What?”

Seulgi scoffs again, but it’s followed by the smallest of sniffs. “God, I was such an idiot.”

Seokjin looks down at the joggers, frowning deeply and scanning his leg to see what Seulgi might have until he spots it: right by the edge of the pocket, in faded Hangul… Choi Nari.

“No. No, no, this - no. No.” Seokjin shakes his head vigorously, for she's got it all wrong. But for some reason, his mouth seems incapable of saying anything other than no, no, no.

“Spare me. You're literally in her pants,” she says icily. “God - I'm that girl. The one who started dating a guy with a girl best friend that stopped being just a friend somewhere along the way. Talk about a B-grade k-drama.” She begins gathering her bag and unstrapping her seatbelt.

“Seulgi,” he says hurriedly, “I did not - I swear to you, it's nothing like you're imagining.”

She turns to him and tilts her head, but her eyes are shuttered - apart from being wet. “Really? You weren't with her last night?”

“No! I mean, I was at her house but I wasn't with -”

“Goodbye, Seokjin,” she interrupts him, opening the car door and climbing out. “Thanks for the ride,” she mutters, just before slamming the door shut and walking away.

Seokjin watches her leave in shock. His heart is beating uncomfortably and he feels sick in his stomach, for as much of a right Seulgi had to do this and as much as he even expected her to, hurting her this way was not something he had ever intended.

He isn’t sure how long he sits out there; it isn’t until his phone rings that he’s jerked out of his trance.

“Hello?” He clears his throat and presses his fingers into his eyes, feeling them get wet as he lowers them.

“Seokjin hyung?” There’s a minor commotion in the back. “The meeting has been pushed back by half an hour.”

It’s Jungkook. Seokjin nods, the meeting seeming like a distant problem right now. “Okay.”

“Yeah, meaning we can probably grab breakfast before it. Do you want the staff to order something for you?”

As if on cue, his stomach churns at the thought of food. “Uh, no.”

“No?”

“Yeah. I’m not hungry.” Before Jungkook can argue further, Seokjin continues. “I have to go. I’ll be there soon.”

Hanging up, he finally pulls out from in front of Seulgi’s building, beginning his drive back home.

—

Sooah’s birthday lunch has been organised in a fancy, chic restaurant in central Seoul, on the top floor with added security and an exclusive invitation list. The sun is mild and there’s a gentle breeze in the air, making the balcony area a popular spot for many of the guests to enjoy the newly improved weather with cocktails and appetizers being served by well-dressed waiters.

Hoseok provides his name at the entrance and enters the party, hoping furtively that the group of girls just outside the building haven't spotted his face. He looks around; evidently, the birthday girl hasn't arrived yet. He declines a passing waiter's offer of a prawn tempura and makes a beeline for the first member he sees.

“Hey, hyung,” he says, slightly breathless as he reaches Yoongi. The older member had ended up bringing Jungkook, Namjoon and Taehyung from the company HQ, especially after the latter two had decided they wanted to drink freely at the party and not drive after that, leaving their cars still parked in the company basement.

Now, Yoongi, who’s been quiet all morning and is holding a glass of what looks like gin, nods in acknowledgement even though his gaze is fixed somewhere on the ground.

However, Hoseok can't begin to wonder what his problem is right now. “Okay, look,” he begins, looking around to make sure there's no one around. “I did something horrible. Well, no, not horrible,” he amends quickly. “It wasn't at all - okay, here's what it is, alright?” He swallows and takes a deep breath. “I hooked up with Chaeyoung,” he confesses in a single breath.

Yoongi, who'd been listening with his gaze still burning into the ground, finally looks at him. “Wow,” he says, raising his eyebrows. “Really? Isn't she, like, fifteen or something?”

“What? No!” Hoseok cries. “She's twenty-three! She's an adult - she’s as old as Jungkook! Well, slightly younger,” he admits.

“How much younger?”

“… eighteen months.”

Yoongi nods, then frowns. “Okay, well… it’s not that bad then. She’s old enough.”

“Yeah, but she’s -“ My childhood neighbour, a family friend, and Chanyeol’s baby sister. “… Chaeyoung,” he finishes uneasily. “Her brother is going to kill me,” he groans, dropping his face into his hands.

“Really? Why?” Yoongi shrugs. “It’s her life, right?”

“I mean, sure. But Chan is really protective of her, especially after their mother passed.” Hoseok doesn’t know how exactly to word it to someone who hasn't been there through it all, watching Chanyeol constantly keep an eye on the most important person in his life. Until she moved to Seoul and he asked me to take over.

“So?” Yoongi shrugs, then takes a sip of his drink. “It's her life,” she repeats. “He can't look out for her forever.”

Hoseok exhales, sensing that Yoongi isn't quite getting the point. “Okay, just imagine that I hooked up with your younger sister.”

Yoongi grimaces slightly. “Okay?”

“And imagine that I was your best friend, that we grew up together and I saw her grow up and I was… kind of a douche to her back then,” he mutters. “But then everyone grows up and suddenly I’m in the same city as her, you trusted me to look out for her - and instead I ended up in bed with her,” he finishes with a flourish. “What would you do?”

Yoongi squints, clearly trying to process this. “I… I don’t know, that’s a lot to keep track of. And you know what, I don’t have sisters so I really - I mean, I’m not the best person to ask. But you know who is?” he adds quickly, gesturing with his chin at something behind Hoseok.

Hoseok turns to see Namjoon finishing up a conversation with someone, clinking his glass with theirs cheerfully before they part ways.

“He’s your best friend, you kind of grew up together and he has a younger sister.” Yoongi counts them off one by one. “One he’s fairly protective of.”

“Is he?” Hoseok frowns. “Protective of his sister? Like he is with Kaya?”

“Well, it’s not the same situation but he’s protective by nature. And you’re just getting an opinion, not recreating it to the T,” Yoongi reminds him, nudging his shoulder. “He’s your guy.”

Hoseok considers this and nods, making his way over to Namjoon. Namjoon notices him approaching and smiles, which Hoseok returns with a slightly confused one of his own.

“Hoba!” Namjoon exclaims, clapping him on the back and almost knocking the wind out of him. “How’ve you been? Can I get you a drink?”

“Oh, uh… no, thanks.” Hoseok shakes his head but agrees to a wonton on the spread in front of them. Chewing, he observes Namjoon, who looks far happier than he can remember seeing him in recent times. It’s not unexpected, given how long he and Kaya spent apart.

Suddenly deciding he doesn’t want to think about why Namjoon looks so happy, he hurries to speak.

“So, uh… say I hooked up with your sister,” he begins quickly, only for Namjoon’s smile to disappear in an instant.

“You… what?” he exclaims, and his height suddenly seems looming.

Hoseok frowns before rolling his eyes. “Say,” he repeats, “that I hooked up with your sister.”

“Oh. Why?” When Hoseok doesn’t answer immediately, Namjoon raises his eyebrows. “Dude, did you sleep with someone’s sister?”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa.” Hoseok takes a step back and raises his hands. “I did not sleep with her. We didn’t have sex - like, it was so not like that. Because sex is… we didn’t… I mean, no sex was had,” he finishes, his throat feeling dry.

“So I take it you didn’t have sex?”

“No, we didn’t.” But I may as well have, he thinks, flashes of last night surfacing in his mind. Her hair, her skin, her voice like he’d never heard it before… Hoseok sighs. “I went over to Chaeyoung’s last night and we… fooled around,” he confesses, hoping he won’t be asked to elaborate.

Namjoon is far too sensible to do that, fortunately. “Right. And… that’s a bad thing,” he states, as though waiting for Hoseok to confirm it.

He opens his mouth, knowing what he should say. “No,” he admits after a moment. “That’s the worst part, that nothing about it was bad at all.” He shakes his head even as his chest feels lighter for the first time all day. “It was incredible. And not just the - the hooking up, but being with her, laughing and talking… God, we talked all night,” he remembers, his eyes dropping to the floor.

Namjoon raises his eyebrows again, this time looking somewhat impressed. “Sounds like the dream,” he remarks deliberately.

“Yeah?”

“Totally. And clearly you know that because you’re getting that same little smile the thought of it,” he points out. “The one you guys used to tease me about?”

Hoseok immediately straightens his face, not even realising he’d been smiling. “Shut up.”

Namjoon shrugs serenely, finishing his drink and helping himself to a second. “You’re worried about her brother, though,” he guesses.

“More than worried.” He shakes his head and drops his face into his hands. “He’s going to think I totally betrayed him.”

“Did you, though?”

“I don’t know. That’s why I’m asking you,” he says urgently. “If I hooked up with your sister - your younger sister - while I’m your friend… what would you do?”

Namjoon frowns uncertainly, apparently thinking about it, then exhales. “I wouldn’t be thrilled,” he admits. “It would feel a little like you were going behind my back? Especially since… well, it’s my sister.” He winces, apparently realising he’s not doing a very good job at explaining this. “No guy ever wants to think about his little sister doing that, least of all with one of his friends.”

“That’s perfect,” mutters Hoseok.

“No, but you know - it’s a little different in Chanyeol’s case,” muses Namjoon, now leaning backwards against the table and pointing at the air, as though it’s an interesting problem he’s solving on an invisible whiteboard. “You actually grew up with him.”

“Isn’t that worse? Because not only did I grow up with him, I grew up with her. And Chan is…” He exhales tiredly. “She won’t believe me, but he’s always been extremely protective of her. Especially since their mom died. Emotionally, physically… I know him - there’s nothing in this world he would prioritise over his sister.”

Namjoon is quiet for a moment. “Is it because their mom died?”

“I don’t know. Probably,” he admits. “He was kind of like the golden child when they were young and she was always a little left out and overlooked… he never admitted it but I know he felt guilty about it. He always tried to make up for it and look after her more - even now, when she moved to Seoul.”

“Well, I can see that,” says Namjoon reasonably. “It’s difficult to see your younger sibling as anything other than a kid, especially when they’re that much younger. You thought of her as a kid, too, if I remember correctly,” he reminds him, irritatingly logical.

“But she’s not a kid anymore,” argues Hoseok. “I did think that at first but… she’s really not. She’s smart and insightful and - and she’s focused on her career. And she’s pragmatic - you know last night during the storm, she had hot water and instant ramen stocked up in case the power went out?” His eyes widen and he shrugs hugely. “Six of us in the dorm and not one of us thought to stock up on food. If I’m not wrong, Jungkook ate a bowl of cold kimchi for dinner while Taehyung ate half a block of cheese. And that was with the power on!”

Namjoon grimaces. “What was happening while I was gone?”

“And she made brownies!” Hoseok exclaims, ignoring his friend. “And they were good. And she was crocheting - she…” He takes a deep breath. “She gave me a crocheted bear,” he tells Namjoon in a low voice. “And I don’t know if she put some kind of spell on it, but for some reason, it won’t leave my pocket.”

Namjoon raises his eyebrows but Hoseok can’t seem to stop talking - not now that he’s finally saying out loud things that have been swimming in his brain for months.

“She’s cute and she’s funny - and she’s got this killer confidence. Where did that even come from?” he demands. “She used to be all shy and awkward before but now she’s… oh, and she’s started giving advice now? Good advice, incidentally, and I just want to… I just want to talk to her all the time because sometimes it really feels like she can solve every single one of my problems. And honestly, after last night…” Hoseok runs a hand through his hair, glancing at Namjoon’s expression and hating it, “Namjoon, believe me… she’s a grown woman.”

There’s a few seconds of silence where Hoseok fights the urge to yell incomprehensibly into the abyss.

“So… I know you guys don’t really like it when I do this,” begins Namjoon slowly, “but if I understand it correctly, your problem isn’t so much that you slept with Chaeyoung -“

“I didn’t sleep with -“

“- it’s that you’re falling in love with Chaeyoung,” he finishes, nodding as though explaining a rather simple maths problem without wanting to hurt his feelings.

“I’m - I’m not,” murmurs Hoseok, even as his heart sinks for more often than not, Namjoon is right.

“But that changes things,” says Namjoon. “If you actually had feelings for my sister - real feelings, and I was convinced that you weren’t just messing around with her… I would actually be kind of okay with it. It would be weird,” he admits, shuddering a little, “but it wouldn’t be the worst thing. I’m sure it would be the same with Chanyeol. No?”

Hoseok shakes his head. It isn’t as if the thought hasn’t occurred to him, but if there’s one person who knows Chanyeol, it’s him.

“You know, it might? Except, when we were growing up, I was a dick to Chaeyoung,” he admits in a low voice, the shame and guilt bubbling deep in his stomach. “He was protecting her from his parents and his step-mom and other kids… but he was also protecting her from me.”

He doesn’t say it out loud - he can’t, because it’s too shameful, that the one and only time that Chanyeol ever snapped at him, the only time Hoseok ever felt that he could lose his best friend was when he’d warned him to stop making fun of his little sister.

It had been when they were in high school. Hoseok had taken it way down after that, choosing only to tease her in a more playful way or ignore her altogether, usually when Chanyeol wasn’t around. But it was undeniable that even though they’d moved past it, Hoseok had crossed a line.

Until now.

“I’m the last person Chanyeol will be okay with, being with his sister,” he states, knowing it’s true.

Namjoon doesn’t say anything for a few seconds. “Look, Hobi… that was years ago. You were a kid.” He seems to spot something behind Hoseok’s shoulder. “What’s more important is how she feels about your past.”

Hoseok is about to open his mouth when his phone pings at the same time as Namjoon’s. Similar pings are heard throughout the room and when he checks his phone, it’s to see a message on a group chat.

Jimin [13:04] We’re on our way up. Everyone get ready!

As promised, less than a minute later, they hear the lift open and Jimin’s voice sing-song as he speaks. A moment later, he appears at the doorway with Sooah, his face breaking into a cherubic smile as he gestures to the room with a flourish.

“Surprise!”

All the guests chorus together and Sooah, after gasping and seemingly suffering a mild heart attack, begins greeting people who come forward to hug her. Hoseok and Namjoon hang back, allowing her school friends to greet her first, including Taehyung, while Jimin stands beside her proudly, evidently satisfied with her reaction. It’s then that Hoseok sees her.

“Oh, my God, she’s here,” he breathes, instantly turning away but unable to do so for long. He chances a glance at her as he half-hides behind Namjoon’s broad frame; in an oversized striped pink sweater, a short denim skirt, sheer pink stockings and black combat boots, she looks like an ice cream - a cute, pink, irresistible ice cream with slightly flushed cheeks and long wavy hair. Bubblegum punk, he’d said to her once and here she is, clearly embracing it.

“Okay, the worst thing you can do is be dramatic about this,” warns Namjoon. “Just go and talk to her like everything’s - wait,” he says suddenly. “What did you say to her this morning?”

“Oh. Well, I didn’t want to wake her up, so -”

Namjoon turns around with his eyebrows high on his forehead. “You snuck out?” he whispers loudly.

“No! I mean, technically - but I needed to leave for that meeting and my phone was dead so I couldn’t text her. And I didn’t want to wake her up,” he adds defensively, anticipating the question. “Don’t worry, I left her a note.”

“A note?”

“Yeah, and it was a nice note,” he says shortly. “Whatever I do, I’m not going to screw her over like that.”

They go over to greet the birthday girl after that, once the crowd thins out. Hoseok catches Chaeyoung’s eye for the briefest of moments, feeling his heart skip an enormous beat. But she moves away and he follows her slender figure going to place her present on the gift table.

“... thought it was going to be just a small lunch, you and me. You didn’t have to go through all this…”

“I wanted to give you a surprise… don’t you like it?”

“Oh, of course I do, Chim…”

Sooah leans up to press a kiss to Jimin’s cheek, who looks mollified when he spots them, followed by Sooah. “Hey, guys,” she says, leaning up to hug them in turn as they chorus their own happy birthdays to her. “Thank you for coming, I know how busy you all are.”

“Where’s Seokjin hyung?” Jimin asks, scanning the room.

“He said he wasn’t feeling up to it. He says sorry,” adds Hoseok apologetically, while Sooah waves a hand. “He did look quite off even during the meeting this morning.”

Jimin murmurs something noncommittal but shrugs, evidently deciding to let it go when Taehyung and Jungkook join them as well, deep in discussion that abruptly stops when they come into earshot.

“Namjoon oppa, Jimin told me you just got back from New Zealand,” says Sooah. “How was it?”

“Oh, yeah, you never told us,” adds Jungkook. “Did you do the ziplining thing this time?” he asks excitedly

Namjoon takes a sip of his drink and shakes his head. “No, no, we didn’t,” he answers, chuckling.

“Oh. Well, you must have gone to Milford Sound - he was obsessed with that place the last time we were there,” remembers Hoseok. “Remember? You wanted to stay there longer but the staff made us leave. That’s the kind of place Kaya would like, too.”

“Oh, yeah. It was really nice - but I don’t know, we never really got around to doing that,” he admits.

“Okay.” Jungkook frowns. “What about that Lord of the Rings hike? That’s right up your alley.”

“Er… no. Didn’t end up doing that either.”

Hoseok frowns. “So what did you do for three weeks?”

There’s a few moments where no one speaks and Namjoon doesn’t answer, opting instead to take a long, slow sip of wine and ending it with a soft smack of his lips, all the while when Hoseok finds himself slowly regretting his question.

“Oh. Oh, God.” He swallows before groaning. Jungkook’s ears go red while Sooah and Jimin snort, and Taehyung claps him on the shoulder as they all disperse, clicking his tongue and winking at him.

“Don’t prolong it,” murmurs Namjoon to Hoseok before he leaves, his eyes clearly on Chaeyoung. “Just be normal with her.”

“Right. Normal.” It’s easier said than done, for Hoseok discovers that he’s barely able to look at Chaeyoung without thinking about last night. His feelings for her were tending towards a problematic region long before this, but something had changed irreversibly last night. There was no scope for denial anymore, he realises, not about his attraction to her or deeper emotions that make his stomach flip.

Worst of all, it’s the looming thought of Chanyeol following him every time she enters his mind. He would lose Chanyeol over this, he knows it. Hoseok didn’t think losing Chanyeol would ever even be worthy of consideration in his mind - until Chaeyoung, looking like a cute, pretty, sensitive ice cream.

He drifts towards the table of hors d'oeuvres, trying to force an appetite. Nothing looks appealing, though, not now, but he scans it anyway hopefully. Someone else arrives at the table, and he smells her before he sees her.

“Hi,” says Chaeyoung, giving him a small smile and picking up a small chocolate at the edge of the table.

It’s too much: her summery perfume, her shiny hair, the memory of her naked rib cage underneath his palms while she sighed his name in a way that would make Chanyeol punch him in the face if he knew. He exhales shakily as she takes a step closer to him; even though they aren’t even slightly touching, the proximity makes his heart race and to his horror, he can feel his jeans tighten.

“What are you doing?” he asks in a low voice, dropping all pretense and turning to her.

She raises her eyebrows. “I’m saying hi,” she answers, not sounding even a fraction as frazzled as he feels. She does look… happy to see him, though. The thought makes his heart leap and hurt at the same time.

“Listen, Chae,” he begins, because he just can’t do this. She nods, looking casual and breezy, her cheeks with a hint of pink still on them.

“Yeah?”

“Look, last night was… amazing,” he admits, noting how, despite the casual demeanour she’s displaying, a smile begins creeping up on her face as well. Her lips are pink, too, and glossy… “It was amazing and - and you’re amazing.” Her smile widens slightly and her cheeks flush a little brighter and Hoseok feels his strength start to leave him bit by bit. “But it can’t happen again. No matter how I feel… Chanyeol is still my best friend and you’re still his sister and… you are so off limits.”

Chaeyoung doesn’t seem fazed. Her smile fades slightly but not completely and she licks her lips, as though able to see right through him. “It’s a little late for that, I think,” she says lightly, brushing a lock of hair off her neck.

Be still, my heart. “No, it’s not. I mean, it… yeah. Maybe.” He looks at the floor and exhales deliberately, trying to gather his thoughts. “But it can’t go further. I - I really hope you understand, Chae,” he implores, meeting her eyes, wide and doe-like. “You’re amazing,” he repeats, meaning it, “but…”

She doesn’t say anything for a moment, then nods. “Okay.” Giving him that same small, nonchalant smile, she pops the piece of chocolate in her mouth and walks away.

—

Seokjin wakes up from the worst sleep he’s encountered in a while - and that includes the tour they’ve just wrapped up.

It had taken him a long time to fall asleep. Once he’d finally managed to somewhat numb himself to the fact that he’d just been dumped because his girlfriend thought he’d cheated on her, he’d tried to close his eyes and get just a little while of nothingness. But he felt wrung out; he was emotionally so exhausted that it was hard to even sleep, especially because he knew, he knew, that while his break-up with Seulgi was affecting him, it was the fact that he didn't even know how Nari fit into all this.

Well, he knew. He had an idea and he was aware of the general area in which Nari was involved, but all his strength was going into not thinking about that right now because it was a Pandora’s box he didn't want to rifle through at the moment.

Then, of course, the moment he’d tried to catch a few winks, his phone had started buzzing with updates from Sooah's birthday lunch. Jimin hadn't taken it too well when Seokjin had told him after the meeting that he wouldn't be able to make it and while he hadn't been able to bring himself to explain why, something in his expression must have done it for him, for Jimin had abruptly stopped pestering him and told him to stop by if he felt better.

He checks his phone now, realising he's slept through lunch. The late afternoon sun is already dimming, as though warning the city of an early sunset. He sits up on the couch, his back hurting and head pounding and heart racing from the vague dream he'd had of Seulgi imprisoning him in an underground jail while Namjoon appeared as a hologram and read a list of his crimes.

You're a decent guy, but it loses its charm when there's another woman in the picture.

It was like a sick twist of fate, the momentary relief that Seulgi was breaking up with him until it turned to dread when he realised why she was breaking up with him. And the other woman in the picture… Seokjin runs a hand across his face, knowing that it wouldn't have made anything better if he'd try to explain why he was wearing Nari's joggers in the first place.

No, I wasn't sleeping with her - not at all. I went to her place in the storm to wish her a happy half-birthday in line with a decades-old tradition, we splashed around in the rain for a while where an accidental kiss took place, and then she offered me dry clothes and her couch for the night because she's a doctor and she was worried about hypothermia.

It sounds ridiculous - not to mention like a rather trite story. He'd taken off the joggers the moment he'd entered the dorm, throwing on the first pair of trousers he'd found in his room before driving away for his meeting. He'd chucked it in the washing machine after getting back and then the dryer, and in the absence of anything else to do except overthink his ended relationship, Seokjin stalks over to the dryer and retrieves the washed joggers. Without sitting back down, he collects his keys and prepares to drive over to Nari's.

It will be therapeutic, he supposes, to get rid of the immediate cause of his break-up. Plus, he would get the opportunity to apologise to Nari again - for staying over last night, for accidentally kissing her, maybe for showing up at all.

As he nears her building, he slows down. The street is still empty, although the water guns are no longer where they were last night. It’s almost as though the evidence of what transpired has been wiped away clean; Seokjin can’t decide whether that’s supposed to be a good thing.

There’s a good chance she won’t be home right now, he realises. But he still parks the car where he had last night and steps out, folded joggers in hand, looking up at the corridor window that had blown away her notes last night. It’s open and gives him a direct view of her front door.

Just then, as if on cue, the door opens. Seokjin’s stomach leaps without warning - for she’s home - and despite the bad day he’s had so far, a ghost of a smile graces his face.

Nari appears at the door, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear. Seokjin takes a step forward but halts immediately in his tracks when she breaks into a relieved sort of smile and she opens the door wider - and someone else appears into view.

It’s a man. It’s him - Jason or whoever - who she’d brought to dinner at his place. She’d maintained that they were simply colleagues but either she’d been lying or the situation had changed since then, but Seokjin is motionless as he watches Jason kiss her casually on the cheek as she moves aside to let him in.

Maybe it’s the culmination of an already dismal day or it’s the unexpected nature of this discovery, but nothing that’s happened so far has crushed his chest quite so viscerally. Seokjin almost hopes he’s mistaking someone else for Nari or it’s a friendly, platonic, even brotherly situation - he’s grasping at straws mentally, even as Jason steps inside and the door closes behind him.

—

Near the late afternoon, when the sunlight starts to become sparse, the party starts to wrap up. Guests begin saying goodbye, passing by the table piled high with gifts on their way to the lift, many people happily day drunk and stumbling out.

“Did you know Sooah had this many friends?” Yoongi mutters, sidling up to Hoseok. He looks longingly at the drinks table next to them, now with far more empty bottles than when they'd first arrived.

“I didn't know someone could have this many friends,” he admits, somewhat admiringly. Across the hall, she looks appropriately engaged, swaying to the Justin Bieber track playing on the speaker and talking to two people as she sipped on a cocktail with a straw. A little way away, Jimin, Taehyung and two other guys he'd never seen before were aggressively popping to the song while simultaneously filming each other and guffawing.

“Sounds like a lot of work.” Yoongi sighs and shoves his hands into the pockets of his jeans. “When do you want to head out? Because I could use a drink.”

“Oh, is that why you've been sober all day?” Hoseok chuckles. “That’s adorable, hyung. You're like the mother hen trying to get her chickens to walk in a straight line before doing anything else.”

“That's me. Do you see the other chickens around? Namjoon and Jungkook are sharing a cigarette on the balcony,” he notes.

“Jimin and Taehyung are over there, although I’m guessing Jimin will be with Sooah. I don't think they're all Sooah's friends,” he says after a moment. “They aren't close friends at least. I think they're mostly old classmates and stuff that she's kind of in touch with. Jimin just goes all out.”

“He told you that?”

“Not exactly,” he mutters, his gaze moving to the one figure he's been glancing at continuously. Chaeyoung is by the appetiser station again, a clear drink in her hand as she fingers the edge of one of the food cards. Her bottom lip is between her teeth and she's frowning.

As he watches, a friend of Sooah's joins her and says something, to which she nods and laughs politely. He responds and she shrugs, a bit uncertainly, before picking up a single French fry and popping it in her mouth.

“Did you talk to her?”

Hoseok doesn't bother beating around the bush and inquiring who Yoongi is referring to. “Kind of. Went better than I anticipated, actually.”

“Really?” Yoongi raises his eyebrows. “What did you say to her?”

“Told her last night was fun and all but it can't happen again.” Hoseok turns away from her. “She seemed fine with it.”

“You don't sound fine with it.”

“What do you mean? I'm the one who suggested it.”

“You don't sound fine with the fact that she was fine with it.”

Hoseok glares at Yoongi but doesn’t argue. He turns to Chaeyoung again, this time a bit more alert when he notices her grabbing her sling bag, clearly ready to leave. He follows her pink, wavy-haired figure as she floats over to Sooah and presumably wishes her again before giving her a hug.

He frowns as their interaction continues: Chaeyoung asks her something and Sooah responds easily, tilting her head and giggling as she points to Jimin. Chaeyoung’s face falls for a fraction of a second before it’s replaced with a smile and a nod. They hug again and this time, Chaeyoung starts to leave.

As she does, she meets Hoseok’s eyes. His heart stops briefly but she simply gives him a casual wave and a small smile, before stepping into the lift and waiting for the doors to close.

Hoseok swallows, his mind going a mile a minute for the next few seconds. “Hyung,” he says, “you’re taking the rest of the chickens back to HQ?”

“You know it.” Yoongi follows Hoseok’s gaze. “You have your car?”

Hoseok nods before clapping him on the back and dashing off in the same direction as Chaeyoung. He takes the stairs two at a time and spills out into the lobby of the building, head darting around and spotting a telltale pair of pink stockinged legs disappearing around the corner outside the glass doors.

He follows her, jogging a bit until he’s within earshot. He calls her name and she turns, looking surprised but not altogether disappointed at his presence.

“Hey,” she says, as though they’ve coincidentally run into each other on a normal day. Behind her, the sun is far away at the horizon, a bright spot peeking through the clouds as it prepares to set. Right now, though, it’s difficult to pay attention to it.

“Leaving already?” he asks, a little uselessly, but it’s just occurred to him that he has no idea why he followed her out.

“Yeah, I guess. Most people are gone,” she says. “Plus… I don’t really know anybody there apart from Sooah herself. And you,” she adds with a smile when he raises his eyebrows. She doesn’t say anything else but Hoseok suddenly feels guilty, for three hours at a party not knowing anyone can’t be easy.

“You know the other guys, though,” he says after a moment. “Jimin and, uh…”

“Yeah, I was hanging out with Jungkook for a while.” She nods, fingering the strap of her bag. “It’s getting late, though.”

The decent thing to do would be to offer her a ride. He’s on the verge of doing it; now that he’s here in front of her, everything he’d told her earlier today seems vague and blurry and, frankly, unimportant.

“I’m sorry, Chae.”

She frowns. “Oh, don’t be. It wasn’t that bad - like, the food was good and I got a few nice pictures -“

“No, not about that.”

“Oh.” She licks her lips and nods once. “About that… don’t be sorry about that either. I get it - it’s weird. We’re practically family and you and my brother especially are -“

“Nope. Not that either.”

She stares at him blankly. “I’m out of guesses.”

“I'm sorry for…” What’s more important is how she feels about your past. Namjoon, ever the wise one, had touched upon the only element in this mess that could bring Hoseok out of his pit of guilt about Chanyeol: Chaeyoung.

“Yeah?”

He takes a deep breath. “I'm sorry for everything. Everything I did when we were kids, everything I said…” He bites his lip as she processes this, her eyes flickering slightly before they fall to the ground. “I was a huge jerk to you. And I know I was a kid, too, and so were you… but that doesn't mean that it all just disappears when we grow up. I know over the last year we've… gotten closer -”

Her lips twitch and his cheeks grow warm. He hurries his next words.

“- but I still want to say, explicitly, that I'm sorry. I'm really sorry, Chae.”

Something massive seems to have been lifted off his chest but a dull pressure still lingers, pulsating in rhythm with his heart beat. Chaeyoung nods again, slowly, and meets his eyes.]]

“Apology accepted,” she says softly.

The pressure recedes; she feels more within reach than ever. It seems unbelievable that not twenty-four hours ago, she'd been on his lap in a state of undress, kissing him while it poured outside, making every other thought in his mind disappear.

“And I'm sorry, too,” she says after a moment, jerking him out of his dangerous train of thought. “I wasn't mean but I was… pretty clingy. Kids get teased mercilessly at that age over a haircut so I'm sure a kid who acted like… well, like me wouldn't have been easy,” she admits, two pink spots appearing on her pale cheeks.

Hoseok wants to kiss her, so desperately. It takes everything in him to stay rooted to the spot, even though there isn't a single part of him that wants to stay away from her. He should, but for the life of him, he can't quite remember why right now.

Chaeyoung exhales, looking slightly awkward but somewhat relieved - or maybe Hoseok is and he's projecting. Either way, she rocks backwards on the heels of her shoes and shrugs. “Well, I'm going to head,” she says abruptly, the pink tinge on her cheeks still visible. “And… thanks.”

“You're walking?”

“Yeah. After the rain last night it's actually kind of nice. And not totally dark yet,” she adds, looking up at the sky.

He should offer her a ride.

“Can I walk you home?” he blurts, pausing internally as he thinks about his car in the parking lot.

She looks surprised, too. “Um, are you sure? Don't you have to get back to the party?”

“Oh, no, the party is almost dead, anyway,” he says, waving a hand dismissively. “Even Sooah and Jimin seem to be almost done. I'm sure they'll leave in a bit.”

“And to no one's surprise, she's going back to his place.” Chaeyoung shakes her head. “Wow, I've clearly had one too many mojitos.”

Hoseok snickers. “Don't worry about it. With what I think their plans are tonight, you don't want them in the room next to you.”

She wrinkles her nose and then laughs. “True. But you don't have to walk me home. I'm fine.”

“I don't mind. Really.”

“It's, like, a thirty minute walk.”

“Fortunately, I’m kind of good when it comes to stamina.”

Chaeyoung narrows her eyes and folds her arms across her chest. Ice cream, he thinks instantly, and begins to smile without meaning to.

“Why did you apologise?”

“What do you mean?” He shrugs. “It's the right thing to do.”

“Sure, but why today?”

His heart starts to race - or skip, and he simply shrugs. “Seemed like as good a day as any.”

Chaeyoung doesn’t change her stance. “Are you sure?”

The way she asks it, she seems to have caught onto something. It’s too knowing and Hoseok feels his smile getting wider.

“You’re a pain in my ass, caterpillar.”

That makes her laugh - an open, confident laugh and Hoseok’s heart soars.

“Have been, since two thousand four,” she agrees. “Except, obviously, you apologised for all that.”

“You’re going to be a handful.” The words are out of his mouth before he can control them but he finds he doesn’t mind. Chaeyoung’s smile fades slightly and she bites her lip, the sun starting to set behind her.

“You can walk me home,” she says after a moment, turning around but not moving. Hoseok hesitates for the briefest of moments but joins her as she starts walking, their fingers only inches apart.

—

Yoongi drives in silence, while Namjoon, Jungkook and Taehyung sing along to an old song from a TV show. For members of a world famous band, they all sound terrible - but he supposes that is a talent in itself. In the shotgun seat, Jungkook bounces to the song in the passenger seat while Taehyung adds his own ad-libs throughout, but Yoongi has no energy to tell them to stop.

They near the building and he drives into the basement parking, somewhat dreading going up to his studio. He parks and everybody climbs out; Jungkook mumbles something about the gym while Taehyung makes a phone call and they drift away. Namjoon hangs back, waiting for the younger members to leave their earshot before turning to Yoongi.

“Are you alright, hyung?”

“Bitchin’.” He catches Namjoon’s eye and sighs. “Yeah, I’m fine. Had a rough night, that’s all.”

“Because of the rain?”

That, too. “Yeah. The good news is, I get to go edit debut tracks for a rookie group for the next eight hours.” He clicks his tongue.

Namjoon nods. “You want some company?”

“Maybe later. Once you sober up,” he adds, cracking a smile. Namjoon chuckles good-naturedly before clearing his throat.

“I, uh, didn’t want to say anything in front of the others, but… I found this in the back seat.” He fishes something out of his pocket and hands it to Yoongi. Yoongi opens his hand automatically, his stomach turning weakly when a small, bright green earring falls into his palm.

The hook of the earring digs into his palm when he enters the top floor of the building. Yoongi takes a seat at an empty table in the open floor pantry and pulls out his phone, scrolling through his emails. The floor is busier than usual; some team seems to be celebrating a colleague’s birthday at another table, a cake with white icing and a couple of slices messily cut out sitting in the centre of the circle; one producer sits alone at a table with noise cancelling headphones on and typing aggressively on his laptop.

Yoongi looks around absently when his eyes land on the coffee station where - something pounds into his chest - he locks eyes with Miso. She holds his gaze for a couple of seconds before turning her back on him and dealing with her coffee.

The earring feels heavy in his hand and all of a sudden, he feels the urge to hurl it out of the window. There is next to no way it’s making it back to its owner in any case. After Miso had icily got into her car outside the motel this morning and Seungwan had driven her away, Yoongi had walked out of the room and watched her leave, proceeding to smoke two full cigarettes in the chilly morning.

The receptionist from last night had also appeared and he’d offered her a cigarette voluntarily, for she looked rather drained as well. Something about how quiet and isolated the place was, not a sound anywhere or even a breath except for the person next to him, made Yoongi feel so disconnected from everything that he felt numb. It was too early, too cold and too unfair. Next to him, the receptionist had chucked her half-smoked cigarette on the ground.

“You didn’t finish that,” stated Yoongi, not really caring.

She’d glanced at him before turning to look ahead, and Yoongi noticed for the first time the carnage from the storm in front of the motel: tree trucks, piles of scattered branches and leaves, water accumulated and overflowing from a ridge in the ground.

“Fuck it,” she’d said.

Maybe it was the aftermath of a terrible night or some sort of shared dissatisfaction with the world but fifteen minutes later, they were in the backseat of Yoongi’s car. It was quick, casual and ended almost as abruptly as it began, with both of them adjusting their clothes and going their separate ways with a brief, formal goodbye.

It seems like ages ago now, with Miso across the room from him, getting coffee outside her studio. Yoongi lowers his head and stares at his phone screen, not reading anything. From the corner of his eye, he sees her turn around and walk in his direction; she would have to pass him to return to her studio.

He can’t think about their argument last night any longer. It’s been rattling around in his mind all day: the rage, the guilt, the desperate desire to sit her down in front of him and read her damn mind. Most of all, there’s an inkling of shame somewhere, deep down, in knowing that his reaction last night had been exactly what she’d expected.

That’s what it had looked like, at least; her eyes had shuttered over at some point and she’d reverted to the old Miso, the one who seemed to live to annoy him and gave nothing, no indication of who she was or what she was thinking. Her walls that he’d worked so hard to make a crack in had gone up instantly, except this time there was a disappointment there he’d never encountered before.

A flash in front of him jerks him away from the table: a hand appears momentarily, placing a cup of iced coffee in front of him with a small thud, before disappearing. Heart racing in mild shock, he turns to see Miso walking away without a second glance, her fingers wrapped around another cup as she turns the corner of the corridor.

He stares at the cup. Sip it first, he’d say ordinarily, straight-faced with only a hint of irony. You’re just going to have to trust me, Min Suga, she’d say, shrugging and settling into her chair, giving him a challenging raise of the eyebrows.

Yoongi takes a sip of the cold liquid, feeling it coat his throat and savouring the hit of caffeine. After a moment, he gets up and heads down the corridor, stopping at Donghyuk’s studio and pausing before he knocks.

“Come in,” comes Miso’s voice, dry and uninterested.

Yoongi pushes open the door slowly to see her alone at the console, a laptop open in front of her and a singular lamp at the other end of the room being the only source of light. She looks at him very briefly before going back to her work. It almost seems as though she expected him to follow her; he can’t tell if she’s happy about it, though.

“Thanks for the coffee,” he says.

She simply nods in response, scrolling through something on the laptop.

“Listen,” he says again, placing the coffee on a table next to him and running a hand tiredly through his hair. “I need to tell you something.”

“Okay.”

“Last night…” He trails off for a moment, wishing he’d rehearsed this a bit before coming in here. “Well, firstly, I’m sorry about last night. I shouldn’t have… anyway. Sorry.”

Miso finally turns to him, looks him up and down, and then turns back around. “‘Kay. Is that it?”

“No.” He exhales. “I hooked up with someone this morning. After you left, the receptionist and I… we had sex.” He cringes inwardly at his own words but he can’t fathom how else to say it without mincing words. She’s still looking at her laptop; he isn’t sure if he’s imagining it, but her shoulders stiffen slightly. “Anyway. I just wanted to let you know.”

There’s a beat of silence. Then -

“So?”

“Why are you telling me?” she asks, shrugging and turning around briefly. “I’m not your girlfriend.”

“I know you’re not. But…” He frowns, trying to suppress the annoyance in his stomach that’s already threatening to bubble up. “I’m just letting you know. Transparency and all that.”

“But it’s none of my business.”

Yoongi closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, counts to three and slowly exhales. “Right. Well. It’s just something normal people do, I guess. Talk to each other and communicate when they’re…”

She turns around properly this time, her legs folded and her elbows resting on her thighs. “When they’re…” She raises her eyebrows. “When they’re hooking up? We made out a few times… are you telling me because of that?”

He doesn’t respond; he can barely look at her right now, anger and embarrassment creeping into his chest now.

“This is exactly what I was afraid of, Yoongi,” she says knowingly, as though she’s pointing out an unsatisfactory edit to a track. “I told you to stay away. But you didn’t listen. You stayed, you got attached, and you’re telling me about a one-night stand you had. And now you have some kind of… expectation of me when what you really should have done was stay away right from the start.”

“You know what? I’m starting to think the same thing,” he snaps, shaking his head and going to grab his coffee. “I guess forming an attachment with an ice queen is my lesson.”

“You got me attached, too.” It’s the only thing that makes him stop in his tracks. “And that’s the problem with getting attached - you start to care. And then when you find out something that you can’t help, something that’s out of your control and doesn’t fit the image of me you have in your mind - the damsel that needs saving because, admit it, that’s what I am to you right now - it shatters everything.”

Yoongi grits his teeth, but somewhere his throat starts to hurt. He grips the cup and turns around slowly to see her still sitting in the same position, face and voice unnaturally calm.

He needs to choose his words carefully, he knows, but she makes it impossible to think. “I do care,” he begins slowly in a low voice, staring at the floor. “You can make it out to be whatever saviour complex you want but I do care and I do want to help you and be there for you. What is wrong with you that you won’t let me?” he demands tightly, clenching his fist at his side.

“Because it won’t work,” she continues in that same state of forced calm. “This - this challenge? You can spend weeks and months and do all-nighters and collaborate with whoever you want but it’s not going to work. It’s beyond you now. And once you realise that, it’s just going to be an abandoned project. A file somewhere in your computer you just couldn’t crack. I don’t need to be saved,” she says after a moment. “So it’s better for you that you stop trying. And maybe you won’t be so disappointed anymore.”

Yoongi stares at her, her impassive eyes and slouched figure. It’s exhausting; he’s tired and drained and helpless and she simply moves farther and farther away each time.

“You got it, Kang Chanel,” he mutters. “I’ll stay away.” Not wanting to spend a second longer in here, he turns around and walks out of the studio.

Miso watches him leave, using every bit of strength in her to keep her mind blank, to push every single thought and emotion out and, for just a few hours, focus on something that isn’t her clusterfuck of a life. She spends the next few hours alone in the studio, eating take-out from a box and going on a Zoom meeting with Donghyuk.

When it’s nearly midnight, hours longer than she’d thought she’d stay (but wishing she could for longer), she begins to wrap up, saving and closing demo files and packing up her notebook, when her inbox pings.

“Damn it, Donghyuk,” she sighs, bending over to squint at the screen in the dark. Her heart skips a beat when she sees an instant message from Min, Yoongi. Index finger hovering over the mouse, she takes a deep breath and opens it. It’s a screenshot of what looks like a folder on a Mac laptop, but empty. She frowns when her laptop pings again.

[Prod Suga] [00:02] [screenshot] This is all the abandoned projects I’ve had in ten years. Happy to stay away, but don’t you dare call yourself a project ever again.

—

Thanks for reading. Don't forget to leave a review :)

#seokjin x oc #seokjin fanfic #yoongi fanfic #yoongi x oc #hoseok x oc #hoseok fanfic #thebtswritersclub #bangtanwhq #k-vanity #houseofddaeng #wkcnet #bts jin fanfic #bts suga fanfic #bts suga angst #bts jin angst #bts jhope fanfic

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wrienne · 2 years ago

Text

My Cheating, Amnesic Fiancé

Chapter 27: A New Tactic

Unsurprisingly, Jungkook was already eating oatmeal by the time you woke and found your way into the kitchen, his wet dark hair left to airdry. He gestured toward the second bowl on the kitchen island, and you took the bar stool in front of it, readily grasping the protruding spoon as you tried not to think about what had taken place the day before.

In the most logical yet maddening way, you had agreed on marrying Jungkook’s brother. And though Jungkook had agreed on developing a friendship with you and putting his emotions aside, you were ninety-nine percent sure he had lied.

But you didn’t know the extent of his lie.

“Your parents went to the gym,” said Jungkook in a normal, conversational tone, rousing you from your morning musings. “They told me they had some things to get in order at the office, and wouldn’t be home until dinner.” He cocked his head curiously to the side. “Are they always working? Even during the weekends?”

“Yeah,” you murmured, using one hand to keep your head up as you shoveled some food into your mouth. “Especially when they’re nearing an agreement. Some days, they’ll just sleep at HQ like those anti-hero, movie detectives.”

“That cannot be good for their health.”

You stifled a yawn and merely shook your head in response. You had barely been able to sleep that night for obvious reasons, however, Jungkook looked unusually tired, too.

He must have read this bemusement in your expression for he smiled crookedly. “It was too stuffy in your room last night,” he explained. “I was even tempted to wander outdoors, and there’s been a blizzard all night.”

“Right,” you said, waving a finger in the air as you understood why. “Mom hates freezing, so she always turns up the floor heat wherever she goes.”

“I was considering taking off more clothes, but knowing how you would react…”

“Please.” You made a face. “No more half-naked or almost naked men in my parents’ apartment again.”

“As you wish.”

You raised an eyebrow at him. “Shouldn’t you be a bit hungover? You kind of drank a lot yesterday.”

Jungkook snorted. “Apparently not enough. I feel fine.”

“That’s good,” you said, poking around in your oatmeal. “I was thinking we could browse through your laptop this weekend and hopefully check off some of the bullet points from the lists. Especially those with events documented online.”

“You mean YouTube clips and such?”

“Yeah.”

Neither of your parents had seemed to care about the two sheets of paper that were folded on top of the kitchen island, just where you had left them when you and Jungkook returned from the hospital. You reached out to unfold them and pointed out one of your first scribbles. “I think this might be a very valid trigger to begin the day with.”

Jungkook read your writing out loud. “‘Kim Namjoon, a.k.a. Rap Monster’s pre-debut songs’,” he said, then frowned. “What’s so special about them?”

“Apparently, Namjoon’s rap was what made you pick your company over six or seven others. I’ve forgotten the exact number.”

“Really?” He raised his eyebrows. “He must be really good then.”

You recalled the concert and nodded. “It’s a cocky name for sure,” you said. “But I think he can safely defend that title. He was incredible on stage.”

“Oh yeah, you’ve seen us perform live not too long ago.” Jungkook smirked. “Tell me, who was the best in your opinion? Don’t be ashamed - you can just say it was me.”

“I’m not going to answer that question,” you said, rolling your eyes. “Get your ego stroken elsewhere.”

“Come on, (Y/N).”

“All of you were great,” you replied through a mouthful of food.

“But there’s seven of us. Even if you only watched and heard our songs and performances once, you must have formed at least some sort of opinion after a concert that lasted probably two or three hours. That V guy is really popular in the YouTube comment fields.”

You looked down into your oatmeal, your grip tightening around the spoon. “‘That V guy’ has a name and it’s Kim Taehyung. You should call him by his proper name.”

“He’s the one you spoke in phone with, a few days ago.”

“Yeah?” you said expectantly.

“It’s awkward saying his real name when I don’t know him,” said Jungkook instead, avoiding your inquiry.

“But you do,” you said sternly, taking a mental note of his quick switch of subject. “And yes, Taehyung was really good, too. He has a beautiful, deep voice that matched perfectly with that solo song of his.”

Despite how tense your second meeting with Taehyung had been, you couldn’t talk badly about the guy. He had been properly concerned for Jungkook, acting merely on emotion and hurt; he was probably not that confrontational usually. And in Taehyung’s shoes, you would have put the blame on yourself as well, only, you wouldn’t have found the self-control not to lash out. So, in one way, he was already a better person and friend for Jungkook than you.

“He’s also really good-looking.”

You had gotten so used hearing Se-Eun go on and on about how handsome Taehyung was that your body enacted automatically. “Undoubtedly,” you said as you reflexively shrugged. “He has everything a girl might want in a male idol.”

You thought you saw Jungkook stiffening in your peripheral vision, but as you glanced at him, he simply gave you a smile. A friendly, unconcerned smile without even the slightest trace of any other emotions. “So, he’s the one who caught your eye?”

“No,” you said truthfully, as the chilling performance of Min Yoongi resurfaced in your mind. Everyone had performed their solos phenomenally, but Yoongi’s lyrics had almost torn into you physically.

Shoot. You needed to get back Jungkook’s engagement ring from him.

“Then who?”

“Don’t be so childish,” you said dismissively and rose. You would have to figure out a way to deal with Yoongi later, when Jungkook wasn’t around. “I’ll take care of the dishes. Go grab your computer - let’s set up here.”

“I guess I’ll have to deduce the answer out of you somehow,” said Jungkook over his shoulder as he trod out of the kitchen. “I’ll know when I see your reaction.”

“Good luck, Sherlock,” you called after him.

You heard Jungkook snort, and smiled as you began washing the bowls. He had already entered the password to his computer by the time you were done, and the first things you decided to check were clips of old Rap Monster songs. Although you had anticipated and dearly wished Jungkook would remember BTS, or at least Namjoon, as soon as you played the first song you found on a random fanpage, you realized, by late afternoon, that things wouldn’t go as smoothly as you initially had hoped.

“I don’t understand it,” you said after you had seen BTS latest music video for probably the fifteenth time. “Why doesn’t anything work?”

In lack of progress with their old projects and songs, you had taken the initiative to relocate to the sofa where the smart-TV posed a better YouTube experience to see their expensive, well-produced music videos from last year. You could practically mime along to the lyrics now, and the admittedly catchy chorus had gotten on your mind. Se-Eun would be so proud of you.

“I’ve tried this all week already,” replied Jungkook where he relaxed in the second sofa, his laptop resting on his left thigh. “If it didn’t work then, why would it work today?”

“Because I’m with you?” you tried half-heartedly.

“Now who’s being egoistic.”

You sighed. “Have we checked everything on the lists that’s available online?”

Jungkook nodded and held up the master list. Black lines were drawn across every bullet point, the perpetrator of those lines resting in the valley between Jungkook’s ear and skull, poking out of the dark brown hair he hadn’t bothered fixing.

“How do you feel?” you asked carefully, knowing how uncomfortable it was for him to see himself do all of these things he couldn’t remember.

“It’s not as scary as it was the first day,” said Jungkook as he gingerly rubbed his throat. “But it still makes the hair stand up on the back of my neck.”

“What about the pictures from your trip last year with them?” you asked. “Any breakthroughs yet?”

“I think you would have noticed if that were the case,” he said quietly, glancing down at the screen of his laptop. “I’ve browsed through the whole album six times now and there’s still no change. I… I don’t know these people, (Y/N).”

Fear crept into his tone at the very end. You tried to send him a reassuring smile, but Jungkook didn’t look up, his face gradually having stiffened into a hard guise. Knowing you by no means could follow your desire to comfort him more intimately, by touch and closeness, you steeled yourself where you sat. You were just about to make a joke when your phone vibrated in the pocket of your pajamas pants.

It was Se-Eun.

“What happened?” you asked as you answered, immediately catching Jungkook’s attention.

“(Y/N)... Y-you won’t even believe what I’m about to tell you…”

She was sobbing violently into her phone, and you could only barely make out what she was saying.

“Hey,” you said warily and straightened. “Get it together. Where are you? Are you hurt?”

“Parents?” mouthed Jungkook skeptically.

You shook your head. “Se-Eun,” you whispered. “She’s crying.”

You grimaced as a horrible wail escaped one end of your phone, and judging by Jungkook’s suddenly widened eyes, he had heard it, too.

“N-no, it’s nothing like that,” she sniffled. “I came home from t-tennis practice when I checked Twitter - BigHit made an a-announcement that BTS will cancel more than half their already sold-out tour! B-because of Jungkook’s accident! And they moved him somewhere, I don’t know where, but he’s apparently too injured to perform or show himself!”

You had to refrain from exhaling heavily. For a brief moment, you had thought Se-Eun was in some serious danger or that something had happened to her.

“I-I thought you said he was alright! W-with this, everything, his and their c-careers, might just--”

“Calm down, Se-Eun,” you interrupted firmly. “I checked with him recently, for real now, and he is neither dying nor permanently injured - on the contrary, rather. He will be able to perform in time for the last leg of their tour, I can promise you that. So don’t you even think for a second that your fangirling days are over.”

Jungkook’s gaze grew even more curious at this, and you were forced to turn away from him. You had to concentrate on your current story of half-lie, half-truth, if only because a slip of your tongue might risk Jungkook’s security. You trusted Se-Eun, but she wouldn’t be able to stay away from your apartment if she thought she could meet her crush since four years here.

“You hear me, Kang Se-Eun?” you said a little more softly as you heard nothing but hulking and more sniffles for half a minute. “Jungkook will return to the spotlight eventually, just the way he used to be.”

You sounded sure, but considering how the day had proceeded, you weren’t feeling very confident. Yesterday, it had almost been easy to expect Jungkook to recover one of his lost memories. You had sensed it just before he had reacted, even. But after the fruitless efforts of that morning, lunch and afternoon, you were feeling a sliver of doubt nest itself between your lungs, growing larger with each passing minute of watching old music videos and shows, with no reaction yet.

“Well,” she said, her voice thick with sorrow, “that’s not all of it.”

“Is this also about Jungkook?” you asked wearily.

“Yes,” she whimpered. “There are rumors circulating right now that he’s been secretly dating Park Yi-Jae for over a year.”

You felt the blood freeze to ice inside your veins “What?” you somehow managed, your fingers stiffening around the edges of your phone.

“Almost every gossip site have posted articles about it.” She cleared her throat. “Judging by your reaction, I guess it’s safe to assume you didn’t know.”

“I had no idea,” you lied, hoping you would succeed now that she was so distraught and you were speaking through phone. Then, you frowned. “But why would that make you so sad? If you adore him so much, shouldn’t you just let him be happy with whoever he wants?”

It was too late when you realized what you had said. What was fortunate, however, was that Se-Eun didn’t seem to take it with any larger consideration, perhaps because she hadn’t seen your physical reaction.

But you didn’t need to glance over your shoulder to know that a pair of familiar brown eyes had burrowed into your back.

“How could I?” she exclaimed. “Of course I want him to be happy, but I have to put myself first, you know. And it hurts so, so much, (Y/N). How can I get a normal boyfriend when I feel so strongly toward him?”

It was almost scary how large a part of yourself agreed with Se-Eun. How much you wanted to agree with her, and make something of it.

After all, the subject of your feelings was sitting a mere five meters behind you.

“(Y/N)? Did the line break or something? Can you still hear me?”

You leaned against the back of the sofa, supporting the weight of your head on your palm. “No-- yes, I mean,” you blurted. “I hear you.”

“There’s major uproar in the fandom now,” said Se-Eun, sniffling. “People saying he shouldn’t be dating since he’s an idol, others claiming it’s a mere PR-trick by ESSTAR while some think he broke his contract with BigHit and that the accident is a mere cover-up story. They think he’s going to be kicked off the group soon.”

“Some people are crazy,” you said blatantly. “Have the other members said anything about it?”

“No, they’ve tweeted apologies and said Jungkook is healing, but other than that, they’re keeping a low profile.”

“There,” you said in an effort to cheer her up. “They said it themselves - he’s alright. And I, too, know that he’s alright, so if you would please stop crying. It’s not good for you.”

“Have you met with him?”

You hesitated, then replied. “Yes, I have. And I swear it on our friendship that he’s fine. He just needs some time to recover.”

“Okay,” she sniffled. “Okay. Thanks for hearing me out. I know you hate listening to things related to BTS but I just had to call you.”

“What about Min-Ji and Yeon-Woo?” you asked, perhaps a bit more sharply than you had intended.

Se-Eun giggled. “I need someone who can comfort me, not someone who’s suffering the way I do.”

You managed to quench the bitter laughter before it escaped your throat. “I see. How much did they cry?”

“Min-Ji not so much, he isn’t her bias. But you should have heard Yeon-Woo - Jesus, if you’re thinking I’m sounding out of my mind, you should have heard her.”

You shook your head. “Scratch what I said earlier. Some people are dumb - you three are just plain crazy.”

“Thank you,” she said sweetly. “I have to go now, mom wants me to help carry in the food.”

You snorted. “Good luck. Your brothers are probably stronger than you.”

Se-Eun was the oldest of three, her siblings being twin brothers. The significant age gap of fifteen years said something about their way of being conceived, but she had no qualms hearing other people joking about it and even liked pointing out the difference herself for comedic purposes.

“They’re already helping her out.”

“Nice,” you said with a laughter. “Bye, Se-Eun.”

“See you on Monday, (Y/N).”

You had barely lowered the phone from your ear when Jungkook spoke. “I didn’t know Se-Eun was a fan.”

His voice was low, uncertain, bordering on that fear that seemed to fill him every time he thought about his lost years. You turned around and gave Jungkook your gentlest smile.

“You didn’t know it before the amnesia, either,” you reassured him. “Since you’re her favorite - her bias - I didn’t want to make it any easier for you two to connect.”

Jungkook smiled crookedly. “Afraid of what might happen?”

“But of course,” you said sarcastically. “Afraid that her perfect view of you might shatter should she ever meet you in real life.”

He shrugged. “I’ve always seen you as the jealous type.”

“Then I guess you’ve always been in need of glasses.”

He chuckled. “Perhaps.”

“We need to get back to work,” you told him as you rubbed the bridge of your nose with two fingers. You were getting both tired and hungry, and now also concerned.

“Another music video?”

“Another music video,” you confirmed.

As Jungkook played and watched a YouTube clip on the smart-TV, you checked all the celebrity and gossip sites on your phone. Just as Se-Eun had told you, all of them had published almost the exact same article about BTS’ many cancelled concerts, and some had even posted about the rumors of Park Yi-Jae and Jungkook’s relationship. The comment fields were definitely chaotic with people expressing both outrage and worry, and though you tried not to take the insults to heart - since it was your fault, if ever so slightly, that Jungkook was amnesic - they proved surprisingly difficult to ignore.

The song ended, and Jungkook played another music video, intensely staring at the TV screen. You exhaled and leaned as far back into the sofa as you could. An invisible weight had attached itself to your shoulders, and you had a feeling it would only grow heavier. You had been able to set aside the full magnitude of your task until then, after having spent a relatively uneventful week with Jungkook incognito. But seeing all the headlines, realizing now that everyone in the world was aware of Jungkook’s accident and that there were people like Se-Eun who were, unbeknown to themselves, counting on you and your effort, solely, truly made you feel small.

It was late, and had begun snowing outside by the time you and Jungkook ate dinner with your parents. It was a pretty uninteresting conversation, consisting mostly of “oh, how you’ve grown to be a lovely young man” and similar compliments. Of course - and despite your indiscreet methods of making them reconsider - your parents couldn’t help but talk to Jungkook about the last few years, inquiring particularly in the ways of an idol’s life. And though you almost thought Jungkook would remember something at times, nothing of that sort happened. It was you who had to steer the discussion to lighter, easier subjects that didn’t make Jungkook look as haggard and hollow as his amnesia-affected memories could make him.

After dinner, you went to study while Jungkook grabbed your rarely used tablet and watched old BTS performances. He had fallen asleep by the time you were done and you drifted off to oblivion shortly after. The next morning, you found out from Jungkook that your father had gone on an emergency trip back to Japan again for an indefinite amount of time, and that your mother might or might not follow him later that Sunday.

So much for the talk about your father’s past.

During the next three and a half weeks, nothing in particular happened. Both of your parents were in Tokyo, and though you heard from them every other day or so, they didn’t know themselves when they could be back. Jungkook’s mother called once or twice, though the video chats didn’t last for very long and his father wouldn’t even say hi, once. The media wasn’t able to get hold of new information about neither the details of Jungkook’s accident nor get a confirmation about his alleged romance with Park Yi-Jae, which had spread like fire throughout the entertainment world. None of the other members of BTS voiced their concerns about Jungkook, parting the fandom in two camps: one either thought Jungkook had been kicked and his contract terminated or that he was simply resting in anonymity and his hyungs wanted to keep it that way, Se-Eun being of the latter opinion. Yi-Jae kept quiet about her and Jungkook during broadcasts, but fans had started analyzing her behavior patterns both in real life, in interviews and game shows, and on social media. Though most of them had constructed the most ludicrous theories - the one about Jungkook currently being on a honeymoon with Yi-Jae taking the prize as the most ludicrous - but others had drawn eerily sensible conclusions of how long the two idols might have been together.

One of them being Se-Eun.

Nobody had looked toward you or Phoenix Inc. yet, not even Se-Eun, though she knew you had an idea where and how Jungkook was. The weather was clearing up, and you had stopped worrying about reporters finding their way into or around your apartment. Jungkook didn’t leave the penthouse even once during this time, getting buried deep into research about BTS and his hyungs, hoping desperately to find something that could trigger a memory. Parallel to your school, which was ramping up with papers and stuff to read, you and him also became better adjusted to living together - though an almost naked scandal did happen once again, when he thought you hadn’t returned home from school yet - and you were starting to see him as a friend.

Despite the aching of your longing heart.

Sejin called once to see how you two were doing, but none of the others members did. The man explained that they were too shy to talk to you, joking about their complete lack of experience with girls, but you were fearing the worst.

You were wondering whether or not Min Yoongi had told everyone what he knew.

Once or twice, you considered talking to him. It even went so far as to you finding him in your contact list, your finger hovering above his name, but you never mustered enough courage to actually swipe it to the right. What were you even supposed to say? “Hi, I am trying to make Jungkook get together with the girl he was cheating on me with and I need his ring in order to make it work, so if you would please hand it to me right now, I’d be very pleased”? No, of course not.

…don’t try to lie to me. I can see through shit like that.

A scary guy, that one.

Despite your troubled thoughts, you wouldn’t have minded the new status quo if not for how much the stress and anxiety of not being able to rediscover his memories affected Jungkook negatively. Growing up mostly alone and in a family of great wealth, you had learnt to deal with pressure very well, and you knew it was best to simply endure it during trying times. But Jungkook slept fewer hours, ate more and got easily frustrated. He eventually refused dancing in front of you, even less sing, and had lost his temper for real one evening when he rewatched the clip of him and his hyungs receiving the Daesang-award and he had cried openly on stage. You comforted him to the best of your abilities - without overstepping the delicate border called “friendship” - and he at least didn’t risk his safety by storming out of the apartment again, but you had a feeling Jungkook had gotten more fragile than ever.

It was already March 9th when he lost his temper again. Less than three months left until the big day in Osaka.

“Shit. Shit.”

You sighed and readjusted yourself where you lay in bed. “Stop muttering to yourself. That’s one of the first signs of insanity, I’ve heard.”

“I’m trying to kick off a conversation with a lady.”

You snorted. “Smooth opening.”

“Considering what she goes by, I’ll take that as a genuine compliment.”

“I’ll have the fellow in my room reminded, that ‘Miss Violent’ isn’t what I go by,” you denied, though your lips cracked into a smile. “It’s what you call me.”

A smile of his own bled into his response. “Hey, I called you a lady as well, didn’t I?”

“You did,” you admitted. “Now, get it off your chest quickly so I can go back to sleep as soon as possible. I’ve been getting bags underneath my eyes lately because of you.”

You heard Jungkook inhale deeply before replying.

“I don’t think I can do this, (Y/N).”

“Of course you can,” you said immediately, feeling cold fingers coiling around your windpipe.

“It’s been so long since I’ve remembered something, the last time being here in your room, when you mentioned my brother.”

You swallowed. “You’re on the right path,” you told him. “I can feel it. You just need to try for a little longer, I’m sure it’ll come to you.”

“I do wonder about that,” he said. “Because two out of three times, I remembered because it was connected to you somehow.”

“Well,” you began half-heartedly, “I think it’s a mere coincidence.”

“I don’t.”

It was pitch-black, yet you peeled open an eye, surprised. “How come?” you asked.

“Just a feeling, I guess. Either way, we need to figure out another way I might remember things because watching and reading about the ‘Bangtan Boys’ doesn’t do shit. And I’m starting to question whether anything might. Perhaps I’m stuck like this, forever.”

“No,” you said sternly, feeling gradually more clear-minded, your weariness fading away from the corners of your mind to let anger and determination fuel you. “Don’t talk like that. We will make this through.”

“I’m supposed to be back to myself by May 30th. I honestly don’t think I will be able to recover all of my memories by then.”

“I do.”

“Don’t you feel even the slightest doubt?”

“Not at all,” you lied.

“And you’re calling me stupid,” huffed Jungkook. “How can you not be doubtful? Or worry? You don’t even sound concerned, damn it - is it perhaps because you don’t really care about what happens to me? Are you planning to do something completely different with me, now that I’m amnesic? Or are you just laughing at me behind my back with your friends? It all of this just some elaborate, expensive scheme to trick me into thinking I’m an idol even though I’m not?”

Jungkook’s voice had grown louder and louder, and he was practically shouting at the end of his final sentence. In disbelief, you sat up in your bed, and thought yourself discerning movement in the darkness by where Jungkook’s bed was.

“Have you gone raving mad?” you said incredulously, your heart surging into speed. “Since when did you become this suspicious and paranoid?”

“How am I supposed to know - I am amnesic, or don’t you remember?”

You clutched your forehead with annoyance. “Your ego is truly something,” you said. “Do you really think I would spend this much time, energy and money just to prank you? And prank you with you being an idol when you in fact aren’t?”

“Don’t even try,” hissed Jungkook. “You and your family have more than enough money to buy yourself a smaller country - why couldn’t you use those resources in order to spite me?”

“Because I’m a decent human being?” You were tempted to turn the wall lights on behind you, but just as you wanted to look at Jungkook as he was behaving irrationally, you didn’t want to have to look at his surely harsh and cold expression - he was too good with those.

After a long, horrible pause, Jungkook broke the silence with a chuckle. “Ever the optimist, aren’t you?”

It took you a second before you realized what had happened. You groaned. “Have you been joking thus far?”

“Yep,” he said cheerily.

“You idiot!”

He laughed. It was a long time since you had heard him laugh, and the happy sound warmed you from head to toe, all the way into your bones. “Well, can you really blame me? I wanted to see how dedicated you were still. Besides, I also needed to know if I could still bullshit you should I perhaps need to.”

“Sadistic bastard,” you spat. “You are a terrible friend, Jeon Jungkook.”

“Everyone! (Y/N) called me a friend! Success!”

You slapped yourself on the forehead, even though his response managed to make you smile. “Oh, I’ll remember this. And I swear it on my name that I’ll make you pay. Soon. I can’t let you go unpunished for not only scaring me, but also stealing away my time.”

You ignored his chuckle as you reclined into your mattress and closed your eyes. You heard him slip back underneath his blanket, too, and was just about to tell him goodnight when he spoke, interrupting you.

“I wasn’t lying all the way through, though.”

“Hmm?” you managed grumpily.

“We really do need to figure out another way, a better way to handle my amnesia. We cannot rely on spontaneous bursts of recollections, triggered by who knows truly what.” Jungkook’s tone softened before he continued. “Being a singer has been my dream for so long, (Y/N). I refuse to lose this opportunity. I can’t.”

“I know, and I agree, we do need to change tactics,” you said somberly, finally confessing the worrisome cloud hovering in the back of your mind. “Any suggestions?”

“Actually…”

“Let’s hear it.”

You knew he was smiling as he responded. “I thought you said you needed sleep.”

“I think I can make tonight an exception for a little while longer,” you replied. “So speak.”

“You sure?” he asked in mock concern. “But what about the bags underneath your eyes?”

“I’ll seriously punch you.”

“Take it easy, Miss Violent. No need for threats - I’ll speak.”

You sighed. “Tonight, preferably.”

“Well,” started Jungkook. “You have the numbers to the other guys, right?”

“Yes, if we’re thinking about the same K-pop idols,” you answered with a frown. “So do you.”

“I… I don’t really think I can speak with them, not through the phone at least. It’s too awkward and weird.”

“You want me to call them,” you said, your tone suggesting that your words formed a question. “Why?”

“I want to meet them.”

Your opened your eyes in shock and sat up again. This time, you didn’t discern any movement in the dark. “But,” you protested. “I thought you said you couldn’t stand being around them, since they know you and you don’t know them!”

“I was thinking,” began Jungkook slowly, “that if I cannot remember who I was before the accident--”

The realization struck you like lightning. “--then you might be better off trying to become who you were. Even if you don't succeed getting back your memories, you will be equipped for performing.”

“Exactly. And by meeting with them, I could probably learn a lot about myself since we’ve lived together for the last five years or so.”

“This is almost like another movie plot,” you said eagerly, thinking about a certain movie starring Leonardo DiCaprio in particular. Additionally, this way, you would be able to meet with Yoongi and deal with the engagement band also. “But it’s a much safer bet, I must say. Though…”

“Yes?” he wondered.

You scratched your arm. “I think it’ll be more difficult trying to relearn all your performances, memorize your songs and befriend six strangers who frankly seemed to have scared you by the time I got to the hospital, than to do what we’ve been doing. Much more difficult. Especially considering the upcoming deadline.”

“That’s why I’ll need you by my side.”

You felt a blush rise to your cheeks and it warmed - oh, how it truly warmed - inside your chest. “Do you really have to drag me into everything?” you asked, however, hoping he couldn’t hear how flattered you felt.

“Good friends eat together, suffer together, die together.”

“You can die without me,” you said in a teasing tone. “I’m expecting to live a long, happy life.”

“What’s to say we cannot live a long, happy life and then die together?” he asked, his voice suddenly solemn.

You pursed your lips. “Jungkook…”

“As friends, of course.” You couldn’t tell if he was lying or not, but his voice had returned to normal. “I’ve told you I would respect your decision, and I will. I promise.”

“Okay,” you said after a pause, where you had waited - perhaps wishing - for him to elaborate. “When do you want to meet them?”

“Tomorrow.”

“We should break the ice with some food,” you suggested. “And I think it’s best if we keep out of the eyes of the public.”

“You want to invite them? Here?”

“Where else?”

Jungkook didn’t reply.

“Then it’ll be here,” you decided. “Nervous?”

“Nervous about meeting a group of guys I’ve shared so many of my experiences with they probably know me better than I currently know myself?”

“Yes?” you challenged.

Jungkook snorted. “Of course not,” he said. "Sleep now, (Y/N). And don't you stress about the bags underneath your eyes - you're just as cute with as you are without them."

#MCAF #Ao3 #Wrienne #bts fic #bts x reader #bts fanfiction #bts jungkook

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