#however i love the main couple! i think they're just so sweet and they clearly love each other in such a true friends way

[mmescarlette]

Favorite Books Read in January 2023

Since I thought it might be fun to turn this blog into a space to talk about books I've read, here's a roundup of books I particularly liked this month! There may be spoilers for each so feel free to skip between the titles if you like.

The Heir and the Spare - Kate Stradling (personal rating: 4/5)

This was, in fact, the very first book I read this year, a straggler that I started on NYE but put aside so I could read it more at my leisure after my previous challenge was fulfilled, and I'm so glad I did! I SNAPPED this book up. I can't tell you a great deal of what it's about because I kind of liked going into it essentially blind, actually, but it is not a retelling (I somehow thought it was a Prince and the Pauper retelling which it clearly is not but I think that was purely based on the title and not, you know, facts) and it's at my perfect intersection of fantasy, which is the kind of low-stakes sword-and-sorcery tales that I generally tend to write myself.

I believe what I enjoyed and got out of this book most was that it forced me to confront my own relationship with suffering, much like Thorn did two years ago; tw for the main character going through some fairly intense emotional abuse, but for me as a reader, I found it more cathartic and able to make me understand myself more closely, and thus well worth the read for me in particular. I also LOVED the choice to have a second lead who is essentially antagonistic from the start, much in the vein of QoA which I am always weak for. I would say this is low on themes, but high on character work, so if you're looking for an introspective read this is a lovely choice!

The Stolen Heir - Holly Black (personal rating: 4.5/5)

Holly basically OWNS me at this point. There's a high likelihood just based on this book alone that this duology will capture me in its clutches even MORE than Folk of the Air could, simply based on the fact that I love the two leads (and Wren in particular) like there's no tomorrow. For one thing, I think it's such an interesting and quite frankly beautiful and touching change to have both the leads be so downright kind people to their core, as opposed to the chaos gremlins (affectionate) of the previous trilogy. But for another thing, the particular theme that my dash is sucking me into loving this year is that of shared history of love of all along between people, and I looove that is very present here! FotA was very much about learning to love but I'm pretty badly invested in how much this story leans on how to trust even when the love was already there.

The reality also of Wren being this bleeding heart being who will undo bonds and chains and ties simply because it's the right thing to do is something that makes me feel insane! Everything about Oak coming from a family he can never abandon or leave behind because he cherishes them so deeply makes me sob! The entire theme that lingers from it all being "I have never had the true luxury of being free in any way that matters to me so I have the compulsion to save every person I possibly can even if it is at great personal cost" is something that can be so personal and dear to me and I LOVE it so much.

(Also I had a great time wailing at Wren every time she talks about Jude to be like "JUDE WAS SORRY FOR YOU WREEEN SHE FREED YOU ON PURPOSE BECAUSE SHE DOESN'T LIKE PEOPLE BEING BOUND EITHER" and whilst I have no doubt there will be angry Jude in the next book I love that there's this tie of fae-nurtured human and raised-by-humans fae between the protagonist of both the series! There's so much richness of kindness in that dichotomy and I'm so intrigued about where she'll take it.)

Thirst - Mary Oliver (personal rating: 5/5)

I'm always on the hunt for more Mary books to read, and this one is a stirringly beautiful example of her work. Very few things have made me cry like the titular poem does.

Part of the reason why I glommed onto this book so much is because, at its heart, it is a book about grief; from what I can tell, this was Mary's first book she wrote after the death of her partner, and because of that it is so deeply infused through and through with love and light and sorrow and tenderness that it seems almost impossible that I, at least, could not love it. But perhaps more than anything, the reason why it struck me so much is because it filled me with that which I am most on the search for in my life right now, wonder.

Mary's work makes me see the stars, the sun and the moon and the sky, all whilst I'm tucked away in my house, in my reading chair at one in the morning without moving a muscle. It makes me glad to live, but more than that it gives me reason to live, that most tricky part of staying alive and being glad for it. She always finds a way to lead me back to the emotion I am best at and struggle most with, that of gratitude of being here and being well with what I am given, that even when the tossing and turning of life tears at my soul I can always say a prayer in thanks for it and find my way back to something simple and still and true, and that-- is always worth the effort for me.

And while that is me talking about her work at large, I will simply say, this book made me see the stars at night and the rosebuds in late spring and the shadows of the geese making their way across the fragile sky, and for that alone I love it dearly. Also The Messenger is only the poem I have in full pasted on my wall which to me is the biggest peer-review test of all.

Station Eleven - Emily St. John Mandel (personal rating: 4/5)

A read that I embarked on because a dearly loved friend (hi Lu!!) adores this book, so I wanted to take a peek because the themes appealed to me. I'm a big lover of post-apocalyptic media that focuses in on what relationships look like between people in the aftermath and how often it is love, in the end. While this is not my favorite example of that particular genre, it is an extremely competent entry, and a good introduction if you're never dipped into the genre before.

Beautiful, dark, and luminous, Station Eleven is what I would call a slow amble through the book's contents. It neither tumbles you along with the impetus of its own story and pace (as a YA book does), nor does it urge you forward with the hastening steps of its plot that grow louder and louder over time (as speculative fiction often wants to do) but it is quiet, self-contained and self-possessed. From what I can gather, this is the kind of book that either resonates with you deeply, or doesn't whatsoever, but for me in particular I found it scattered with such moments of gentle beauty that made me have to close my eyes and hold them close to myself that I found it worth the read, despite the fact that it is also littered with enough violence and sorrow that it's not truly as comforting as I had expected it to be.

In its heart, this book is very simply about a girl who is part of a wandering troupe of actors in the world after an apocalyptic event whose life is shown in tandem and parallel to an actor who she worked with as a child; but it is also deeply about kindness, friendship, love and loss and the search for beauty when the surface of the earth has been so ravaged that it seems almost impossible that it could still be there. More than anything, Station Eleven is a book about care-- it's about Kirsten's care for her work, for her friends and the rare moments of beauty she carries about, it's about what goodness we can save and spare when all else is lost, it's about me weeping over the joy of electricity casting its light on the sky when that seems impossible. The longer I sit with it, the more I can find to love in it, because what lingers from this story is the love that stays within it through and through.

[xoxoavenger]

Coward

pairing: Luke Castellan x Fem!Reader

summary: Luke goes out of his way to prove to Annabeth he's not a coward (requested by messages for my birthday celebration but I changed the request a lil bit)

word count: 595

warnings: sooo much fluff

birthday celebration (even tho my birthday was a couple days ago) main masterlist

Luke's pretty sure there's something wrong with him.

"There's something wrong with you." Annabeth says as she stands next to him. He flinches with the bow in his arms, the arrow hitting the hay next to the target. He puts it down and turns to her, frowning.

"Please, bestow upon me your wisdom." He snarks, even though he had just been thinking the same thing. He knows that Annabeth knows he's lying, but he would rather shoot himself in the foot than admit his problem.

"Really, Luke?" She has her arms crossed, and the two stare each other down in silence as everyone begins to leave. Neither speaks until everyone has begun the trek to the pavilion.

"I have no idea what you're talking about." Luke lies, copying her stance.

"Come on!" Annabeth cries, outraged at her brother's stubbornness. "She likes you back, so why are you being such a coward?" They begin to walk to the pavilion for dinner at a slow pace so they can talk.

"Oh my gods." Luke rolls his eyes, annoyed now that he's being called a coward. "We don't know that she likes me, first of all, and even if we did know that she liked me, we don't know if she wants a relationship."

"Luke," Annabeth groans, resisting the urge to run a hand down her face.

"Annabeth, I don't want to talk about this." Luke is starting to get peeved as well, and this conversation is clearly getting nowhere.

"Because you're a coward." Annabeth teases, and Luke thinks he may explode.

"I am not a coward." He seethes as they come up to the pavilion. Annabeth just won't let it go, however.

"Really? Because refusing to ask out a girl that clearly likes you seems pretty cowardly to me." Annabeth knows what she's doing, but Luke is too angry to see through her plan.

"Fine!" Luke explodes, turning to her. "You think I'm a coward? Would a coward do this?" He stomps toward Y/N's table, where her back is to him. He's a little amped up, his heart racing, so he feels smooth as he leans on the table in between her and her sibling.

"Luke?" She mutters, shocked that he was suddenly right next to her. Their faces were right next each other, and her heart was racing with the proximity.

"Y/N," He smiles, and she melts just a little bit. "I was wondering if you wanted to go to the beach with me after dinner?" In the moment were they're just staring at each other he starts to lose his nerve. Maybe he is cowardly.

"I'd love to." She answers quietly, feeling her cheeks heat up. He nods, winks, then leaves, listening to her siblings start to gush over the interaction.

"Think I solved your problem." Annabeth is smirking smugly as he walks past her, and he pauses as he realizes that her plan all along had been to push him hard enough to finally ask Y/N out.

"You conniving little-"

"You asked her out, didn't you?" She still looks just so happy, and if Luke wasn't also happy from his upcoming date he would probably tell her to meet him at the sparring mats.

"Told you I'm not a coward." He says, getting in line for food.

"Yeah, you really showed me." Annabeth can't herself, and Luke just takes a deep breath, because he loves his sister. "Except really, I'm the one who showed you."

Luke may have to throw Annabeth into the ocean before he goes on his date. Just to prove he's not a coward.

//

tags: @avada-kedavra-bitch-187  @one-sweet-gubler

[yelena-bellova]

I actually think it's quite clear why they're having Francesca fall in love with Michaela right away and also why her story was the one they chose. At first, I didn't understand it that much as, from my understanding, the book centered on the themes of guilt and grief. But after reading some interviews from the show-runners, it's clear they feel the primary focus of the novel was on Francesca feeling "different" - which in retrospect is highly emphasized in the show, and is how we get to her being a lesbian (they're not going to make her bisexual, I'lll get to that). It's not how I view the story, but I'm not going to criticize someone for experiencing media differently than me.

Anyways, why does she fall in love right away? One, I'm going to be frank, main stream audiences cannot handle a truly bisexual lead. Parts of the internet would lose their shit if a woman who ends up with a woman had actual genuine feelings for a man while the other part of the internet would lose their shit that a woman who loved a man fell in love with a woman. Both sides would, ironically, agree she was just a lesbian all along so there's no point in trying to make her not one.

Secondly, I think romance in general - and particularly Bridgerton - doesn't usually focus on the idea of multiple loves that are of equal value. The genre is geared towards finding your one great love (and that's great! I love it! It's romantic and sweet, and I don't need my bodice-ripper novels to try to tackle real life romance). This is also emphasized in the show, where Violet was clearly feeling like Francesca was settling, hinting that her real love won't be with John. And in TV and film, this is 100% exasperated by shipping - audiences become extremely attached to a main couple, so killing them off will cause chaos. It just makes sense within this context to remove any romantic love from John as, from the perspective of the genre, that devalues the love between Francesca and Micheal/Michaela.

And what is the easiest way to remove romantic love between John and Francesca while keeping John a sympathetic and loving character?

All this to say, Francesca will NEVER love John, not romantically. And that makes her set up perfect for her to be a lesbian. If she never loved John, then his death can be sad, but ultimately not cause any actual conflict for the neat and tidy 8 episode arc of her season. It gives the audience the chance to say "wow, so sad she lost her husband, who she was clearly friends with, but also it's not that sad because now she'll ACTUALLY fall in love for real this time."

From a plot perspective, without any novel attachment, it's actually pretty solid and hits the tropes I would expect a queer romance to hit if it needed to exist within the Bridgerton verse. Dare I say, it's frankly even rather cliché?

So again, I disagree with a lot of this but I’m still going to share it because whoever this is didn’t come from a place of hate.

1: I’ve read the interviews with Jess Brownell about deciding to change Francesca’s story because she herself identified with the “different” aspect being a queer woman. Setting aside all sexual/gender politics, that’s a key mistake a lot of writers make. When writing for a show like this it’s good to make it personal, but not self-service. To morph an entire storyline to fit what you took from the book, even if few others did, is a bad writing choice.

2: I do agree that the world has no idea what to with bisexuality. I see more hate for bisexuals than nearly any other subsection of the LGBTQ community. I do think, however, that the Bridgerton fanbase is a bit more accepting. I’ve seen a lot of issue be taken with Benedict’s storyline this season but not because he’s bi/pan, but because of the shoddy editing and writing for his scenes.

3: “Bodice ripping novels” gave me a good laugh 😂😂

4: The change of Francesca’s potential lack of romantic feelings for John is probably my biggest issue with the whole situation. It truly feels like an unnecessary change. Even in going forward with setting up Francesca and Michaela for happily ever after, they could have saved Francesca developing feelings until after John had passed. Enough book readers would have been talking online about who Michaela was and who she becomes to Francesca that people would have known. In my eyes, there truly was no reason to eliminate that part of the story.

[sleezeboss]

Hello!!!

I have been a fan for a very long time and it’s really amazing to see your story and art develop over the past years! I’ve been a follower of BadBeat and it’s reiterations and I’m excited to see where this new project may go. I look up to you as an artist and am greatly inspired by your work.

I have a question about the other characters, such as the other demons (Levi, Mammon, Asmodeus, Lucifer, Satan, Belphi) and other characters (Chandra, Marquis, and Josiah). I see you answered about Belphi being a sworn ex of Bub’s (which poor thing he was so sweet 😢), Chandra being a dealer for them of sorts, and Satan being a rough and negative influence of Bub’s. However, I wonder what else is written about the others and what you are willing to share about them. I know Asmodeus had a big influence on Rex in BadBeat, but I wonder his personality and role as an antagonist now. I also wonder how the other demons play in as well, like the others mentioned. Also I want to know if Marquis and Josiah even exist anymore. Is there any new characters?

I apologize if this ask is long and confusing but I am wondering what you can share before this new story is released and want to know more of the characters not mentioned.

thank you so much for being such a longtime fan! that really makes me happy to hear. So just some clarification before I answer your questions, you got a couple names confused!

Chanda's name is just Chanda, no R.

Joe's full name is not Josiah. It's Giuseppe, but he goes by Joe.

okay the rest of this got LOOOONG, so just a heads up.

I've answered questions a couple times regarding if Mark, Joe and Chanda will be featured in this story, and the short answer is yes; they do have a place in this world and story and they do still exist. Whether or not I make any story content (short story, short comic, etc) about them still remains to be seen. The difficult thing about reinventing your OCs and changing their backstories is that they kind of start to become nebulous and unclear to you again, and you have to relearn who they are in the world when the setting changes. These three in particular have been very uninspiring for me for lack of a better word. I know they seem to be a fan favorite among my audience but I just feel nothing for them at the moment. I'm trying to give them time to simmer on the back burner and see what comes up. Chanda's reinvention as a hag / witch was a good step, but that's all I got. Joe and Mark will still be a vampire and a werewolf respectively but that's all I got.

As of right now, my idea is that the main cast is Bub and Rex. Mark, Joe and Chanda are reoccurring cast members / allies to Brex. An example of a typical "episode" in my head is that Brex checks in with Chanda, get their mission from her, and then they go on their merry way. Meanwhile, Joe, Mark and CHanda would be the B story that is either contained to their own event, or they are aiding Brex in some way.

Ideally I would love for all the devils to have their time to shine as an antagonist. With this setting where Brex are clearly defectors and traitors to their respective sides of a war, they both will have characters from their past coming to try and thwart them or break them apart. Satan, Asmo and Belphi would be considered bigger villains and antagonists because they have direct personal relationships to Bub and Rex, whereas Mammon, Luci and Levi have less stakes in the mix simply because they're not as involved with their interpersonal relationships and backstories. (that may change down the line! who knows.) The devils all have relationships with each other tho, so it's not like they have no reason to be there.

So jumping back to Asmo for a second, I mentioned in another ask that Rex's soul already belongs to a devil due to a deal his mother made before he was born. Lately, I've been thinking it goes something like this: I think the devil who made that deal was Asmodeus. We get this kind of dynamic where Asmo haunts and taunts Rex, but Rex has no idea why. He has night terrors about this devil, and feels his influence all around him, but he's resistant to it and fights it.

When he figures out what happened to him, that his soul was claimed before he was even born, I think he attempts to take matters into his own hands. He actually attempts to summon Asmodeus on his own and confront him. Now, remember- Rex is in a cult of highly dogmatic demonslayers and witchhunters, and is preparing to become the leader, so him dabbling in any kind of summoning magic is highly taboo, even if his end goal is to slay and confront his literal demon, so just go ahead and add all the angst you want to this hypothetical scene :P

Anyways, as fate would have it- he messes up somewhere along the line, and summons Bub instead. I think he was fasting the day he decided to do this to "purify his body" or some shit, and the whole time he's working on summoning a Lust Devil, he's thinking "God I'm starving..." and it dominates the spell summoning spell he's casting hahaha.

Now, another idea I've been chewing on lately- I've been watching a looot of True Blood (old HBO vampire show from the 2000s. I loved it when I was a teen.) and there's a thing in the universe where vampire blood has highly potent magical qualities when ingested by humans. It can heal their wounds and save their lives essentially. When taken recreationally, it's also a very potent aphrodisiac, so when a human has the blood of a vampire, they get very vivid sexual fantasies about the vampire who's blood they are taking.

I have been really inspired by this and want to apply a similar thing to my devils in my world, so I like the idea that when Rex summons Bub, even tho it was an accident, he starts get these potent sexual fantasies and feels this intense attraction to a beast he's sworn to kill. I really love the idea of Rex suffering thru that inner turmoil of being a righteous man in his beliefs, but being so conflicted by what his body wants. while also being ASHAMED. Like, come on! it's not the sexy mysterious and refined devil that's been haunting his dreams- it's this bozo of a glutton devil!

Okay reigning the tangent in and trying to address your last question- I do have a couple new characters for this world! First of all we have a lot of Rex's family as reoccuring cast members / antagonist. Rex's dad is a huge character in his backstory, as well as his mom.

Rex's daughter is a character that will come into play eventually, too. I'm looking forward to designing her for this setting.

and I'm also at that stage in my world building where any new characters I make, I want to find a place for in this world. All my worlds feel connected, Im just that kind of artist where everything I make tends to share similar themes and settings. I have a very very old oc from 2015 who now has a place in this story for example. He's a young exorcist who becomes Rex's mentor when he decides to commit to learning demon magic.

Okay I need to stop here, I can't believe how long this got lmao

[gemsofthegalaxy]

Like Romance? Try Helluva Boss and Hazbin Hotel!

Hazbin Hotel and Helluva Boss both handle romantic plotlines excellently, especially in the way that there's something for everyone. They have romantic couples in various different stages of relationships, with different personality matches and different challenges. There are non-romantic plotlines, too, but as a romance lover I want to focus on the merit of the romance in these shows and why I personally like basically every main pairing we're presented.

Stolas and Blitzo (HB) are objectively the most problematic ship, having one of the largest power differentials in addition to the being two worst communicators, and each of them having low self-worth to boot. They happen to be my favourite because I find them the most interesting for these reasons lol. They both need to do some growing inside and outside their relationship to make things work, but I'm rooting for them because I think and hope the pay off will be spectacular.

Meanwhile, Charlie and Vaggie (HH) are largely unproblematic queens. There are some deceptions involved in their story, but they work through their issues fairly well, they respect one another immensely and believe in each other's dreams and aspirations. They also start off the show together, so you get to enjoy their sweet relationship from day one.

I would say Moxie and Millie (HB) are most similar to Charlie and Vaggie in that they are already married by the beginning of the show and they support each other nigh unconditionally. Like Chaggie, they run into some issues but they're fairly easy to resolve with some open communication and love. They're also just very funny to me.

Angel and Husk (HH) start out on more rocky terrain than the above two examples, however, their communication (and perhaps self worth?) issues don't come close what Stolitz face, with them being able to speak plainly and honestly to each other with relatively little challenges. They also are on more even footing, although some of their life circumstances clearly influence how they act towards each other. There's lots of potential for them to grow together and also face their shitty circumstances, and I'm excited to see where they go from here.

Fizzarolli and Asmodeus (HB) are another couple that are fairly sweet, actually, and despite their power differential it hasn't posed them a ton of issues within their relationship. The power difference in their relationship is actually more of a problem externally with the perceptions of the other denizens of hell, giving them different issues to deal with than other couples. They also serve as a great blueprint within HB of what Stolitz might be able to achieve if they get their shit together, and babey, I love me some parallels and thematic throughlines.

There are some other couples in the shows, such as Vortex and Beelzebub, and other ships people enjoy such as Alastor and Lucifer, so if you enjoy smaller pairings/side characters or building up upon less-canon ships, there's potential there to. Lastly, there's great potential for crackships and rarepairs considering the large and distinctive cast lol.

[backjustforberena]

What do you think Rhaenys thought of Alicent turning up to the wedding in the green dress?

Firstly, thank you for sending in the question, I love questions like this because they're always fun to consider because there sort of isn't a right answer either. However, I think there are a few things we can sort of go on that means I can take a pretty good guess at what she thinks and if it creates any sort of lasting impression.

Like everybody else who has eyes in that scene, Rhaenys knows something is up. As Alicent takes her seat, Corlys looks at her and they exchange in some of that sweet, sweet non-verbal conversation that they are in the habit of:

BUT... I don't think the implications of the dress and green colour land with her. Beyond Alicent's lateness and the discomfort that it causes, I don't think it even registers. And there are a couple of reasons for that, which you didn't ask for, but I'm going to give you them anyway.

The main one is that Rhaenys lacks the context for Alicent's act of defiance, which is what this essentially is. Alicent has forgone the red and black Targaryen colours of her marriage to embrace her Hightower roots, to send a message and severe any last warm relations she may have towards Rhaenyra.

The characters that interact most with this act are Larys (who has orchestrated it and categorizes it as an act of 'war' as his talks with Alicent have clearly worked etc), Viserys (who has had his speech interrupted and is being just that tiny bit humiliated by a wife whose father he just fired), and Rhaenyra (who has lied to Alicent and proven to be untrustworthy) - because all of these characters have, in their way, made this moment happen and have a stake in it. If Alicent is sending a message, it's so these people, and her uncle Ormund, hear it. It's not anything to do with the Velaryons.

As well as this, Rhaenys has been away from court for (arguably) three years. I doubt she would go to King's Landing during the time her husband is at war in the Stepstones. We saw she wasn't at Aegon's Hunt, and in what terms Corlys's choices were described at that event as well. Corlys basically openly went against the King so Rhaenys would be unwelcome at court, essentially. That's what I infer, as well as the fact that she doesn't particularly like King's Landing anyway.

In any case, she'd stay on Driftmark in order to rule and be of help to her husband's war efforts. Why is this important? Because it means that Rhaenys lacks any context for Alicent in her role as Queen.

Rhaenys is unaware of the context surrounding any defiance by Alicent, but, moreover, she's unaware that this is any different from the norm'. It may strike her as odd, and a bit unorthodox, but it's not the declaration that it is to others. Rhaenys hasn't seen Alicent bedecked in red and black and understood what that means, and, therefore, what this new colour means.

This is just a really roundabout way of me saying: to Rhaenys, Alicent just looks late. In and of itself, that's enough for bells to ring in Rhaenys's head, but perhaps not to any great degree. Perhaps it's a big a deal as Daemon's entrance: it's just another result of her cousin's way of ruling. But it is not her problem. It makes her wary, but not scared, and she's happy to let her cousin continue his speech, the event carries on and she relaxes. She isn't involved in the bad feeling it creates or feels the tension. We don't see her interacting with Alicent's choices at all.

Then we get to the question of whether this has any lasting impact. Answer: no. Again, a couple of reasons: firstly, other stuff happens. When she looks back on that day, the last thing she is going to be thinking about is "oh, yeah, my cousin's wife wore a dress that was a bit of a doozy". She's going to be thinking about the brawl that started (where both her kids got hurt), the knight that then killed her son's boyfriend, and the hasty marriage that made her scared for her son's safety and ended with her cousin collapsing.

Secondly, is that this big massive change in Alicent... doesn't change how Rhaenys fundamentally views her. After this, there's nothing to suggest Rhaenys thinks about Alicent at all, just as she hadn't thought about her before.

And the green becomes Alicent's normal so whatever message there was to be gained by that initially... it fades with time. It's not shocking. It's an act of individuality, certainly, but it's as much as Laenor wearing Velaryon blue. And the interaction between the two women continues to be very minimal as circumstances keep them apart for the most part.

That's why it's not until Episode 09 does Rhaenys really manage to take a good look at Alicent and read her.

[yallemagne]

Since I can't just say "I agree" like a normal person---

YEAH LIKE???? JGRIPOERG

anyway, read more bc people get upset whenever I actually delve into real critique of this novel and its characters and writing. Also spoilers ahead.

Van Helsing... really is... go on girl, give us absolutely nothing!! When Mina's kicked out after doing all the heavy lifting, Jonathan carries the entire team on his back with the impediment of being unable to speak to his wife, and VH just stands there and says bullshit. I've teased Arthur and Quincey for dicking around, but that was just clearly poor planning on Bram's part. "Oh. They're out. Investigating." Why do we get no results from that "investigation"? Obviously, they just went out on a couple dates instead of working. At least Jack has a day job. VH has nothing better to do than to brag about how smart he was to stupidly leave Mina out, whine to the Harkers about Renfield not liking him, and nod and say "I agree with your ableism, Friend John" whenever Jack takes a break from abusing his patient to talk to him.

And then, after he's massively fucked up and it's literally all his fault and he hasn't even had the decency to admit he was wrong, VH has the audacity to kick Mina and Jonathan out without even asking them. Because he doesn't actually think that he made the wrong decision, apparently he just thinks he should have left Mina with a chaperone. And Jonathan is baffled by this. What the hell!! He knows that no one will listen to him, so he resolves to ask Mina if this is okay with her or if they're together on this. VH lets him go despite Jack's objections because he anticipates Mina being conveniently on his side once more. He is not ready for her to say no to him.

I would have loved it if VH finally fucking took a step back. But he didn't, and that's why I'm not fully convinced when people say "VH's actions are punished!! the narrative doesn't approve!!" because VH never faces any personal repercussions for dooming Mina. In fact, he gets promoted to being the team's Pope with all those reverent hand kisses Jonathan and Mina keep giving him every time he says something half-sweet. I think Bram really got carried away with VH. Mina is too a self-insert, but Bram decides she simply MUST take a backseat to Van Helsing: the man. Bram spent so much time on VH's phony not-Dutch dialect, he needs to milk it for all its worth!

And The Mentor dying is a trope... (happened in Phantom Blood, a famously good Dracula adaptation... and Stardust Crusaders, another famously good Dracula adaptation--), but I feel like it wouldn't be too much of an eye-roll here. Maybe someone should have told Bram to kill his darlings...

“Any last words, old man?” “God bless you.” Cue him slapping the Son right in the fucker’s face. He doesn’t last long after that, but it’s still a good view to go out on as the Vampire curses and sizzles.

By god, See, you should write this. I'm shaking, it's just so perfect. Having VH's last words be so *gasp* laconic would be poetic as well. VH leaves a couple notes for Jack in case he dies already, it just goes to show that his Mentor status isn't the only death flag he carries.

He certainly is not a bad character. However, I do believe he'd be a stronger character if he took a step back. Maybe... several steps back. It would also strengthen the novel as a whole because Arthur and Quincey would be able to take their much-needed steps forward, and the spotlight would be back on our main narrator trio.

Van Helsing Venting (Vent Helsing)

Requisite apology goes here: I am sorry in advance to everyone with a soft spot for the funky old man.

But the reread combined with the podcast has helped put into focus an aggravation that has been nettling me forever without quite knowing how to articulate it.

I’ve brushed the edges of it more than once in several rants about how the Harkers are so constantly given the short stick in every single adaptation of Dracula for a hundred and a quarter years.

Jonathan is either erased, made into a bore, a brute, or unceremoniously killed off while all the amazing character traits and actions he’s responsible for in the story get stolen away and parsed out to others in the cast, often Dracula, Van Helsing, or [INSERT FEMALE THROWN INTO THE CASTLE TO BE BRIDAL CARRIED TO BED HERE].

Mina is alternately a feeble damsel who’s only there to be the pure maiden who gets to live through her seduction*** by Dracula (versus the suddenly scandalous-and-salacious Lucy), or a hashtag girlboss (reincarnated wife syndrome applied as desired) who divorces or otherwise abandons her milksop husband to hook up with a REAL MAN like DRACULA who sexily sex-liberates her. With sex. That she totally for sure wanted along with the bloodsucking.

But on one thing, the Harkers are equal—they never. Ever. Ever. Get to be the true protagonists of any Dracula adaptation, or spinoff, or offshoot, or revamp, et cetera.

This, despite Jonathan being the one to spend the most time with Dracula, alone, in his gothic horror novella of an opening, for Two Months, in which he got the most interaction and dialogue with the Count out of anyone else in the book.

This, despite him and his diary and his love to the point of blasphemy and his nerve and his kukri all being instrumental for the novel to work.

This, despite Mina being the one to literally compile the entire novel out of the transcripts it’s stitched from.

This, despite her connecting the dots to oust the bastard and showing immense courage all on her lonesome in confronting the Count for others’ sake more than once.

But why?

For the longest time, I was ready to grind my teeth and grouse over the obvious reasons of Jonathan and Mina Harker being so gloriously subversive then—and now!—that writers and directors of a certain sneering bent refused to acknowledge anything of their characters beyond the names when slathering their latest cookie cutter vampire bodice ripper with Stoker’s cast titles. The Harkers’ approaches to gender, to heroism, to defeating a villain whose entire role is being the worst of the Gothic Masculine Monster who bullies and preys upon pretty victims to collect for himself (hello harem and power fantasy combo, let’s make THIS guy the ultra-cool totally misunderstood sexypire star of the show!) all chafe against the mental rewrites too many filmmakers and writers make to turn the novel more palatable to their tastes. Assuming they read the book at all.

And that’s all its own pile of rants. But I’ve realized, only now, that this is just part of the problem. The other issue stems from Bram Stoker himself.

That issue being the conversion of an otherwise tight narrative and set of primed protagonist characters into the Abraham van Helsing Show.

I don’t know what it was about today’s entry specifically that made it all click home. Maybe it was already percolating since yesterday, or the day before. But somewhere in Van Helsing’s latest filibuster of dialogue—‘We must share everything! No, wait, tell her nothing! We must make all haste and not lose a moment! Let me turn five minutes’ worth of information into a monologue about bloom and blood and then suggest we all take a siesta on our laurels since we definitely have time to beat the Czarina Catherine! Jonathan, you stay at home with Mina while me and my non-questioning ducklings/the others who don’t really need lines anyway take care of the problem, doctor’s orders! And all my orders are followed, unquestionably, every time, despite them very clearly having only a 50/50 success rate, as is right!’—it all really hit me.

The moment Van Helsing turned into the never-doubted, never-need-apologize, yes, do kiss his hands like a fucking mafia godfather in gratitude for Doing the Things He Should Have Known to Do in the First Place After Lucy, ‘leader’ rather than ‘the lore collector/mentor’ is when the novel turns on its heel and starts breaking its back to accommodate him at the expense of everyone else.

The Harkers get it the worst, naturally.

Once they arrive in Purfleet and the documents are handed over, Van Helsing leads the pack in peer pressuring them into sequestering Mina away as their cheerleader who Need Not Suffer the Icky Horror of -checks notes- finding boxes. Not sent away anyplace safe and guarded by home rules and garlic and crosses; just left to Yellow Wallpaper her days away in the asylum suite.

Meanwhile, Jonathan proves to be literally the only useful member of this group project via hauling ass all over London to gather information to bring back to the table…which Van Helsing then oh-so-helpfully disseminates on top of the obvious point that, hey, yeah, there’s probably boxes there. We should do Wafers about it.

Now, in fairness, Van Helsing was a vital character up to a certain point. Jack called him in for his broader expertise, for how open his mind was as far as what he was willing to investigate or believe as a threat. Without him and his lore collection in Amsterdam, a lot of the details regarding anti-vampire tactics and Dracula’s history lesson wouldn’t have come into play. All this, plus providing the hideous proof of the Bloofer Lady’s reality, making the last three nonbelievers into members of the Drac Attack Pack. Last but far from least, he helps reassure Jonathan to free him from his crushing self-doubt, and then brings in both of the Harkers to create the full group. Fuck yeah!

All that considered, it does make some sense for him alone to give his little seminar on the Dracula Issue…

…except for the fact that Mina has absorbed and transcribed all the info herself. Literally all of it. And the fact that Jonathan personally knows the fucker. All three of these characters should have been at the head of the table, sharing what they know.

But they weren’t. It’s starting to become all about Dr. Abe—because that’s how Stoker keeps his OC self insert in the lion’s share of the spotlight.

This is also when Van Helsing is fresh off the nightmare with Lucy, fresh off of acknowledging that there is literally no reason at all to keep vampire secrets from anybody in this room, fresh off of being oh so thrilled with Mina’s helpfulness and canniness, fresh off of what should have been him learning his lesson and—in open-minded fashion—cutting off any benignly sexist chivalry at the knees to keep Mina in the loop and share the mastermind role.

And what does he decide?

Off to the tower, princess. It’s man work time! Man work here meaning: Investigate some scary dirt. Some rats are there. Everyone break up some Christ crackers, men. Thank God Mina isn’t here to suffer this, amirite? Oh, and Jonathan, be a dear and gather all the information on Dracula’s locations and properties while me and the others…do whatever. Read? Smoke? Something. Anyway, attaboy, such a good hard worker you are, Only Non-Titled Fresh-From-the-Lower-Class Man in the Group!

And then, after October 3rd?

He’s horrified. He’s upset. He’s King Laughing about Dracula’s good meal and within inches of being kukri’d. But you know what he isn’t?

Apologetic.

Oh, he says sorry for the crack about Dracula eating well—but all the actions that led up to the attack? Not a peep.

And when he falls right back into the ‘withhold as much information as possible until it’s time for a Big Specialboy Meeting and my Big Specialboy Corn-flavored Monologue of the Day, in which I’ll give more orders with full expectation that everyone here will hop to it like good little student-soldiers because the author says we can only follow me me me?’

The only saving grace is that Jonathan—not even Mina! JONATHAN!—finally puts his foot down and refuses to chase the stick without conferring with Mina first. Mina, who has always taken precedent to him, period, but also Mina, who has proven herself to be the soundest mind in the entire group and already well aware of the dangers Dr. Abe has been rambling about and trying to be oh-so-covert and sneaky about with Jack.

On that subject? Van Helsing is STILL living a fantasy world where he, and occasionally Jack, are the only ones who can put 2 and 2 together and consider taking anti-vampire measures against Mina.

When everyone has already read everything.

When Mina knows exactly what the risks and measures are.

When Jonathan ‘Would Sell His Soul for His Love and to Slaughter Dracula’ Harker knows all of this.

WHEN EVERYONE HAS EYES THAT CAN ALSO SEE MINA’S TEETH.

Brammy Pajamas. Bramothy Stokerton. Bramward Stokerbroker. My guy.

Your OC, by your own text’s rules, is not special here. He is not the protagonist. He is not the extra-clever center of the narrative’s universe, per your own fucking writing. Stop forcing this man and his refusal to evolve from his preconceptions and his main character pedestal-theft and his goddamn corncobs down our throats.*

*Note: This will not happen.

The one silver lining yet to come will be that Jonathan and Mina get to roughly shoulder their way back into the story’s forefront by the book’s climax. In a huge way. Jonathan even gets an upcoming scene in which he gets to finally, rightfully, chew Van Helsing to ribbons for casually declaring a Certain Horrifying Action has to be taken (Again! No questions asked! No explanation offered until after said chewing-out!) and the narrative treats this as the right move!

But still. Still. Van Helsing is showered with Stoker’s overblown attention to a character that should have had his influence and dialogue whittled down to a supporting role rather than crowding out the Harkers for two whole thirds of the book, complete with them batting their eyes at how brilliant~ he is for much of it.

Despite.

The facts.

In The Text.

That Mina and Jonathan could have led the the whole fucking thing themselves.

We’ll see in later chapters that Mina is ONCE AGAIN the one to figure out Dracula’s plans ahead of time and set everyone on the right course. Jonathan is ONCE AGAIN the one laser-focused on seeking and slaying the Count almost on a supernatural level. On top of all that? What galls me almost as much as the Harkers being robbed of their story spotlight IN THEIR OWN FUCKING STORY?

If Van Helsing hadn’t been one-man-showing the bulk of the dialogue to make sure Brammington got to wave his self-insert around as much as possible?

We could have let Jack, Arthur, and Quincey be actual presences in the book. Jack has a big role! Absolutely! But even he gets relegated to an orbiting figure rather than an active one once Van Helsing starts hogging the pages. Arthur is practically reduced to a mutely mourning money machine. Quincey gets a few moments to remind everyone Hi, Yes, I am a Cowboy. And that’s it.

THAT’S. IT. FOR ALL OF THEM.

Hell, even Lucy and Renfield get whittled down to wisps of dialogue compared to the whole trees’ worth of lines Van Helsing rattles off.

All because Stoker couldn’t bear to let Van Helsing be the character he should have been.

The support. The guide rather than the commander.

Star Wars isn’t about Yoda, but it wouldn’t be the same without the wise little weirdo! That’s what Van Helsing would and should have been great for! But no!

I see now that I owe at least one small retroactive apology to those movie makers and spinoff writers who try to spin Van Helsing as the very real definite archnemesis of Dracula despite the fact that they have exactly two (2) scenes together and no dialogue. It’s not just the cool name. It’s not just because all of the (frequently male and/or Dracula-crushing) directors and writers refuse to acknowledge Jonathan Harker’s existence or importance.

It's because Stoker himself damn near choked his own book to death with the old man’s screentime, backed up by an utter refusal to let the narrative or the characters acknowledge when he’s fucked up. He always has to be the wise scholar. He always has to command the room and the story when neither of them belong to him.

I’d genuinely like to see one of two adaptations in the future.

In one, we could see a Van Helsing who, following October 3rd, chooses to step back. One where he and others logically point out that he has misled everyone with forced unnecessary ignorance and following stodgy hindering social rules, again, and it has doomed someone precious to them, again. One where the Harkers finally get proper center stage, likewise for the Suitor Squad—the latter of whom are written in canon as having a legit history of dangerous adventures undertaken together. Flesh those out, writers! Let these characters be present in their own fucking story! It’d be a golden opportunity to highlight a point Stoker fumbles even as he champions so many other forward-thinking notions:

Sometimes the older generation has to let go of the reins. Sometimes progress doesn’t come just from following and nodding along, but from forging ahead with new concepts and fresher minds. Case in point, Mina and Jonathan, who are apparently still too radically-written to be bothered with depicting accurately in the 21st century apart from a podcast that is literally just reading their lines verbatim.

The other option an adaptation could take? Supposing it really wanted to lean into the horror and heartbreak and forcing the ducklings to stop grasping at the Dutchman’s coattails?

Kill Van Helsing.

Dracula would absolutely think to target him, assuming that he, the elder with his acquired lore and scholarly nuisance, must surely be the keystone keeping his young enemies together. Given the chance, he’d follow that assumption to its conclusion and, on top of burning what he assumes is all the documentation on him, murdering his fellow clever old man in cold blood, ala Renfield. Bonus points if this comes at a bittersweet cost of Van Helsing landing a parting blow on the Count as thematic penance for ‘failing’ Mina, the second young girl who trusted him and paid for it, giving the bastard his second scar to match the shovel blow on his brow. Double bonus if the mark comes from a Wafer burn.

“Any last words, old man?”

“God bless you.”

Cue him slapping the Son right in the fucker’s face. He doesn’t last long after that, but it’s still a good view to go out on as the Vampire curses and sizzles.

And, natch, he will have been wise enough to leave another memorandum for Jack and the others just in case this very thing should happen. A rousing farewell speech, some parting intel, some apologies made. Perhaps a more personal goodbye to his pupil; complete with Jack’s professional mien cracking like glass and the long-put-off tears finally pouring. Then, finally, the crew move forward as one; no longer leaning on or chafing against Van Helsing’s assumed lead, but using the exact same tools they’d always had at their disposal, along with their own wits that the narrative forced them into ignoring in favor of the Professor’s lectures.

Anyway.

Van Helsing is not a bad character. He’s richly made and interesting, as any worthwhile member of a cast should be! But Stoker crammed him into the wrong role and spread him far too thin across the whole book. Doing so has been detrimental not only to all the media which followed it, but to the actual leads of the novel.

[felestina-stilton]

Cartoon Analysis: "Pinky Malinky" Explained

DISCLAIMER! Yes, I do watched all 60 episodes of this show and cheked everything I possibly could about it (the show itself, two pilots, wikipedia and "nick animation podcast #48") before diving into this. So yeah, I know what I'm talking about, and yeah, this post got some heavy spoilers, so go away if you don't wanna see them.

First of all, I must say that this show is 50/50 thing. Some people like it and some people don't, it's fine and I totally get it. I just don't wanna hear any hate under this post. Let's all be respectful and kind 🐱

So, yesterday somebody asked me if "Pinky Malinky" has any plot. And I told that yes, yes it is. But of course "yes" isn't good enough if you here for the information, so let's discuss the whole thing in this long post. This series plot divided into three main arcs (there are some other arcs but they're not really important for the plot tho), which of course, lead into the bigger plotline. Today, I'm gonna fold all pieces of this plot puzzle and tell what this show basically is about

The beginning: Sackenhack and Mayor Happ arc

For those of you who don't know - Sackenhack is a town, where most of this show characters live. This is basically the most important thing to know, so let's start off with it. I found all this information in episodes "Hater" and "Pinky". The old Mayor of the town, Mayor Happ wanted to make this town as precious as possible. He started "Snow Games" (kinda on Olympic-game-thing in this universe) and also began a plan of building a lot of different constructions. Everything was good, until everyone realised that Sackenhack is a desert town. There NEVER was any snow or what so ever. The "Snow Games" were cancelled, many buildings and other structures were left unfinished, and the town fell into decay. Understanding his fault in all this mess, Mayor Happ vanished. Living nowadays in forest as a hermit, he once had a chance to meet Pinky in the episode "Hater". At first, he was pretending to be a Sackenhack hater called Mr. Sackenwack, which seemed very mean for Pinky, since he really likes his own town. Later, with the help of JJ's "creep app" they found his location. After a big reveal, Pinky finally realised that Mayor Happ and Mr. Sackenwack is the same person, and that he's beloved hero is also his hater. Some events after, the group was sitting in silence, until Happ said only one thing to Pinky: "I used to have such big dreams for this town. Now everything about it just reminds me of my failure...That's why I wanted you to delete your account. Everytime you posted something happy about Sackenhack it just made me... Sacken-Sad. So, what it's like to find out that your hero...is just some lame internet hater?" with a reply "Well, you're not what I expected, but, you're still really inspiring to me. I've got a lot of big ideas and not a lot of people understand them...I think I might run out of this town someday too)" Pinky goes home with his friends, and that's the end of Sackenhack/Mayor Happ ark.

Moving on to: Malinky's family arc

So, I guess, the first question you ask yourself when it comes to this particular show - why is Pinky a hotdog while both of his parents are just regular humans? Well, diving into this theme, let's discuss Malinky's family arc in general. We got most information about it in episodes "Pinky" and "Dreams", but there are also many cute facts about them in other episodes (which I'm not gonna discuss here because that's leads pretty much nowhere). So, before becoming a couple, Eric and Valerie were singers. They've done some singles and merchandise and were dreaming about a starry career. However, after some time they decided to become a family and raise a kid. The awful truth was then revealed - one of the members of Malinky's family, called Sasagio was an antro sausage, and Eric'c and Valerie's child probably gonna have the same mutation. This was a clearly hard thing to accept, but Valerie and Eric still wanted to have a kid and this didn't stopped them. Well, now they do have a son, but it's definitely not a regular kid. Raising the child in one, but raising a mutant-shapeshifter wiener is completely another. That's why they had to abandon their singers career. After founding all this information out on the old cassets left in the attic of Malinky's house in the episode "Dreams" Pinky realises - he literally crashed his parents dreams. Feeling guilty, he tries to bring them back to business, but only makes a bigger mess. Feeling even more sad and guilty, Pinky says to his parents that it's all his fault and no matter how, he'll do everything to fix the mess he made and make them singers, just as they dreamed. Eric and Valerie then just tell him that the real dream the've ever had - is to become a family, and raise the most sweet, cute and precious child, and that they love him no matter what. This brings an end to the Malinky's arc.

Finally, about main character: Pinky Malinky's arc

So, as you now know - Pinky was born an antropomorphic wiener. However - it doesn't bother him though. He thinks that being different is cool, and allways sees a better side in everything, literally spreading positivity and happiness. With the help of his two human friends, Babs and JJ, he tries to climb up to the career ladder. Anyways, something that weird and interesting still brings other people's attention, and one day Pinky being asked by some group of people (who allways being called just "camera guys") if they can make a documentary about him. Pinky agrees, and that's technically is a beginning of the series (which however was showed only in the last episode of season two, "Pinky"). In this episode also reveals how he became the new mascout and raised new "Snow Games". So, basically Pinky want's to organise "Snow Games" again, just like in old good times. But for this, also needs a mascout - The Snowball. That's why he starts a some kind of "vote for me as a mascout thing"...which fails. Sad Pinky goes to his schools principal to ask why everything failed. She tells him that that's because there never snowed in Sackenhack. Pinky says that he'll make it snow tonight, to become a mascout. Which of corse, wasn't for serious, but by accident, everyone in school heard that. Now Pinky really HAS to make it snow but the thing is he don't know how. With the help of JJ, Babs and Bob he tries to do this...and fails again. But then the truck with popcorn (JJ got him for sponsoring some company) blows up and...yeah, popcorn kinda looks like snow so technically Pinky becomes a new mascout. At the end of season three, in the episode "Wiener" goes a big reveal - the camera crew filmed him just to know enough information about him because he was going to participate in UMC (Ultimate. Mascout. Championship). However, Helga Hilltop from UMC says that he CAN'T participate. Competitions are only for human boys and girls, and Pinky clearly isn't one of them. He's a twisting, bending, shapeshifter sausage. Pinky says that if he can't participate because of his powers, he'll just try not to use them. At first, everything goes under the controll, but then Pinky fails miserably. After calling him a "filthy wiener" Helga disqualifys him. Sad and humilated, Pinky starts crying and thinking that he really doesn't belong anywhere and probably everything would be better off without someone not normal like him. But then some students along with JJ, Babs and Principal Phan are telling him that it's a complete nonsence, and who the hell decides who is and not normal. Besides, it's what on the inside that counts. After this, Pinky came up with the idea - that's really in the rules of the UMC that's what in the inside that counts. He comes back to the stage and perform as good as he can, not holding himself back anymore. After this, he lies that he was just the costume, and Babs and JJ are the ones who were the real mascouts. Helga says that it doesn't counts and no matter what other jujes think, he didn't won anything. But then everyone just disqualifys Helga because hell yeah, everything she said today sounded like a clear rasism, what the actual hell. Then Principal Phan says that now Pinky is an official mascout. Not the Snowball, just him themself, since he's the most inspiring person in the whole Sackenhack. This leads an end to the Pinky's arc and the series themself.

So this what it all is about. I hope I made everything in this post clear enough)

[writtingfiction]

*G A S P* Is it alright if you could write another Chrom x Robin, with an angst? Robin has feelings for Chrom yet believe her love is unrequited because: 1) he has been avoiding her and 2) the close relationship between Chrom and Sumia. It ends with Chrom wanting to speak with Robin in private. However once they're alone, Robin saw Chrom making a hurt expression. She assumed to be Emmeryn's death however noticed he's eyeing on her wedding ring. This implied Chrom has feelings for her.

You’re killing me here. Making me write this with my own two hands. Making Chrom and Robin suffer, as they sort through their feelings but not quick enough. Just, oof. Although, I did enjoy writing the ending for this. 

pairing: Chrom x Robin

words: 2k

Robin sighed as she played with the griffin feather in her hand. Was it truly alright for her to have feelings for Chrom? Doubts clouded her mind. She was amnesiac, yet she still knew that a tactician and general during the time of war wasn’t a good mix.

The army needed support and moral high, not having their commanders canoodling during the middle of the war. But Stahl’s words come to her; ‘Take the chance, there will always be time after the war.’ Maybe she could take a leap of faith, but what if he rejects her? What if his feelings are truly reserved for Sumia? Robin breaths in deeply, she could at least try.

So, here she was, hands shaking as she tries to steel her nerves. Letting out a deep exhale, as she runs through her plan. Go inside, talk to Chrom about the battle plans and then, voice your feelings.

“Chrom?” Robin called out, holding the extra map in her hands as she swallows the nervous feeling.

“Come on in.” Chrom replies. Robin moves the tent flap open, seeing Chrom smile gently towards her, but her eyes quickly catch Sumia and the pie in her hands. “Ah, Robin! Come here, have a piece of Sumia’s rhubarb pie! It’s absolutely divine.”

She takes confident steps towards the pair, trying to write off that meeting the two here was a coincidence. Trying to convince herself, that there was an inkling of hope. She takes hold of an extra fork and takes a piece of the pie.

“Hmm!!” Robin’s eyes widen. “You’re right, the pie is delicious.” Sumia’s smile brightens considerably.

“Thank you, Robin!” Sumia says happily. “I can always bake one for you!” The words hit Robin hard, always choking on her next bite.

“Hmm, would you? I would really appreciate that, Sumia.” Robin says, swallowing her piece with slight difficulty.

“Of course! Now, I better go wrap this up. I’ll talk with you all later.” Sumia bids them goodbye as Chrom and Robin waved to her as she leaves the tent.

“So, what did you need Robin?” Chrom then asks her. Robin blinks quickly, remembering her mission.

“Right! So, could you take a look at this for me. I drew up another path, a way to get us to Ylisse perhaps faster this way then the way we arrived to Regna Ferox.” Robin says plainly, trying not to show how nervous she was. Chrom peers over her shoulder as she rolls the map out.

“Looks good, you know I trust your judgment.” Chrom bears a wide smile, Robin in return, smiles back. She could do this.

“Um, Chrom…” Robin trails off, eyes connecting with his and suddenly her minds draws a blank. Her hearts racing, heartbeat loud in her ears, as her hands shake.

“Robin?” He says, confused. His head tilts slightly, making him look beautiful in the dim lighting. She had wishes where he would embrace her on cold nights, whispering sweet nothings as they fell asleep-

“Chrom, I—“

“Captain! I may need your help! The horses are loose!” Sumia’s voice cuts in, loud and in panic. Chrom sends Robin an apologetic smile, moving towards the entrance of the tent.

“I’m sorry, Robin. We shall speak soon, is the matter urgent?” Chrom says, as he pauses by the entrance. Everything in her tells her, that this is important. That the matters of the heart, are important, that it’s okay to be selfish.

“No, we can speak tomorrow as we march back to Ylisse.” Robin said. Chrom sends her another smile, before he calls out to Sumia that he’s on his way.

They didn’t speak the next day, marching back to Ylisse. Instead, his attention was focused on the Pegasus knight. Of course, she shouldn’t expect anything new. She let out another heavy sigh.

“That’s the fourth heavy sigh I’ve heard within the last five minutes.” Stahl speaks up beside her, on his horse. Matching her pace as she walks. She turns her head from Chrom to Stahl. The look she gives him, tells Stahl everything. He sighs in return. “Buckle up, and tell him, Robin. You’ve only got to so long.”

“I know, Stahl, but it’s not easy. I freeze, and my feelings all get caught in my throat.” Robin said, eyes filled with worry as she looks to Stahl; missing the longing gaze from Chrom. “I want to tell him, but I can never seem to get the right atmosphere.”

“Hang in there, Robin.” Stahl reassures. “I know you’ll figure something out.” He smiles, but it’s almost bittersweet. She can’t place why but doesn’t linger on it for too long.

That night at camp, Robin tries to start a conversation with Chrom. Keyword, tries. It was as if he had gone up in smoke. She saw him at dinner, eating with Sumia much to her disappointment. But he just, disappeared from there. She had even asked around, receiving nothing in return of his whereabouts.

Robin sighed, perhaps Stahl would enjoy her company for the evening before bed. Taking her only a couple steps before she saw Stahl, working on his lance. She gently made her presence known before Stahl greeted her happily.

The two enjoyed their evening together as they talked, not noticing any wandering eyes that may have fallen upon them.

—-

They had arrived back in Ylisse, within a couple days. And to say Robin was frustrated, would be an understatement. Chrom was avoiding her. He couldn’t even seem to look her in the eye when they were talking about important affairs. Even to just stop and spare a moment, he would flee. It wouldn’t help if he was with Sumia either. In fact, it had almost seemed as if those two were attached by the hip.

“Robin, you’re scowling again.” Stahl reminds her, not even sparing a glance from the soup he was making. Robin let out a frustrated cry.

“I just do not understand. Have I done something to offend him lately?” Robin said, a grumble on her lips. “Doesn’t help Sumia is constantly with him.” There was a light sigh that came from Stahl. She heard the soup ladle being placed down before she saw Stahl in her line of vision.

“Robin, I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a hundred times.” Stahl stares her straight in the eye. “Confess, even if you get rejected. You won’t feel such a heavy weight on your shoulders anymore.” Robin sighs after a moment. Eyes closed, as his words sink in.

“…Alright.” Robin opens her eyes once again, mentally preparing herself. Stahl smiles brightly. He placed a hand on her hair, ruffing it up a bit.

“Good, I’m sure half of the army is getting sick and tired of the puppy eyed look.”

“What?!”

—-

After coming back to Ylisse, barely a full day has passed before they hear of Maribelle’s kidnapping. The Shepherds were quick to move, night was falling though, they had to rest and Robin couldn’t hold it in any longer. Her feelings had to be made known by the prince.

Her feet, drawing her closer to where Chrom was this late at night. Wherever it might be, but to stumble across this. Her heart shattered to pieces.

“…I love you!!” It was clearly Chrom’s voice that echoed in her ears. Her entire body froze. It couldn’t be true. She felt her heart sink to her feet.

“Of course…I love you too…” By the Gods, that was Sumia. Robin felt sick, stomach turning. She was right in the first place, her love was unrequited. Tears stung in her eyes, biting her lip as she turned on her feet.

She didn’t know where she was going, but away. She needed to be away from him, everything. So, the best spot was obviously, just outside of camp, behind a tree.

She sobbed, as she folded herself into a ball. Back against the rough bark of the tree. Her chest was heavy, heart aching as her mind became fuzzy. How could she have let herself hope? How could she think there was a chance, to be with him?

“…Hello…? Are you alright..?” A voice came from behind. The footsteps came closer. She wasn’t ready, she couldn’t figure out an excuse quick enough as the figure came around the tree. It was Stahl. “Oh, Robin, I’m so sorry.”

He immediately apologizes seeing Robin’s red eyes, tear stained cheeks and heavy heart. He kneels down and opens his arms, to which Robin falls into, only to sob louder. Stahl, just holds her, not asking anything of her, just holding and waiting.

Stahl didn’t notice exactly when she had fallen asleep, but she had. It must have taken a lot of out of her. With some trial, Stahl picked up Robin, carrying her back to her tent. Only to run into the main problem of her troubles lately.

“Stahl? Is Robin alright?” Chrom’s voice was quiet but filled with worry.

“She’s fine, Captain, perhaps little tired.” Stahl responds. Chrom only nods, and he looks to her. Brows furrowing upon noticing her still wet cheek. Chrom is tempted to say something, anything over the concern of her well-being, but he can’t grab enough courage.

“Take good care of her.” There’s more meaning to it, as he says it. Stahl knows, he understands. He just wishes it didn’t have to be like this, to hear him say that.

——

Days, months pass by and the events unfurl quickly. Robin’s head is a mess, trying to think of a plan to rescue the Exalt from the Mad King’s clutches. As they march towards them with a fierce determination. She breathes in deeply, trying to clear her mind. However, a quick call from Chrom, tears her away.

“Are you ready?” He says, although he doesn’t sound very convinced. She sends him a reassuring smile, hand placed against his arm.

“We will get her back, alive.” Robin says confidently. “I’ve got an idea.” And she truly does. Chrom means a lot to her, he’s the one who found her in the dirt in the first place.

Robin had only ended up eating her words. Emmeryn sacrifices herself for the good and better, and so Chrom wouldn’t hand over the fire emblem. Her hesitant steps took her close to Chrom, hands shaking.

There were shouts in the distance. Things were going so wrong, they needed to retreat. Fingers brushing against him as she tries to pull him up and away.

“We need to go… we can’t stay here…” Robin says, trying to keep herself from breaking down. She needed to stay strong. Chrom shrugged her off. “Chrom!” His head spun towards her. Tears streaming down his face. Pain clearly etched on his face. Robin’s brows furrowed; sadness evident as she gently pulled him to his feet before ordering a retreat.

The grief process was slow, but their anger was swiftly turned into a blade for Gangrel. Recovering in Regna Ferox, as they also armed themselves. The Mad King’s rule was going to end by their hands. So, when she had approached Chrom, she cautiously offered the idea to come up with a plan that could work.

Chrom agreed, although his body language said the complete opposite. Robin still brought the map in, laying it across the table for him to see, but his eyes catch the small silver band on her ring finger. He can’t hear anything she says from then on. When did she get the ring? Who gave it to her? His heart picked up the pace.

“Where did you get the ring?” He blurts out. Robin stops, blinks and gives him a questioning look. “Your ring.” He repeats, almost tempted to point at the band hugging her finger.

“Oh, you mean this?” Robin holds up her left hand, bringing it close to him. “It’s my engagement ring.” Robin doesn’t feel or hear it when his heart breaks in pieces. But she does see the heartbreak in his eyes as he stares at the ring. His thumb running over it carefully. There was a brief moment, that she thought it was over Emmeryn, but she knew the look in his eyes were very different. She had seen it before.

“Who’s the lucky man?” He asks, and Robin’s heart aches. She couldn’t believe it.

“Stahl.”

Chrom was in love with her.

[mayakaimal]

Maya Kaimal Fine Indian Foods Everyday Chana Review

Maya Kaimal is a cookbook author and founder of Maya Kaimal Fine Indian Meals.  You can read more about her in the About section of their website. This vegetarian brand has an array of products such as simmer sauces (such as Madras Curry, Goan Coconut, and more), naan chips, chickpea chips, spicy ketchup, refrigerated sauces, and the Everyday Chana line, which is what I had the pleasure of trying! Not all of their products are vegan, but they are all vegetarian. On the website, they are clearly labeled with what is vegan and what is vegetarian. They also give you an ingredient listing and nutrition information. The ingredients are very simple, so if you find these products in stores, it's very obvious which ones are not vegan. Gotta love simple ingredients! What a hassle to read ingredients you've never heard of before, right? Then you're standing in the middle of an aisle at a store, Googling what the heck cochineal is, just to find out it's a dye made from crushing insects. You won't find weird shit like that at Maya Kaimal. Unless you've never heard of fenugreek (it's an herb; don't worry).

You can purchase these products at a select number of online stores. They also have a store locator, where you can select which products you're looking for and see where they are sold! For instance, near me, they're carried at a number of stores, such as Wegmans, Stop & Shop, Dean’s Natural Market, Target, Food town, and more! The chips are also at a number of Rite Aids near me!

I got to try 4 different kinds of the Everyday Chana: Tamarind & Sweet Potato, Coconut & Kale, Coconut & Green Chili, and Tomato & Onion. I invited a couple of friends over, got some naan from Babur Garden (because holy shit, vegan naan!), made some basmati rice and we dug in!  Before we even tried, I already declared my favorite would be the red lentil, butternut squash, and coconut. Based on the main ingredients, I assumed that would be the one I was into the most. However, like all of us at the table, every new one we tried was our favorite and, in the end, we loved every single one and couldn't decide if we liked one better than the other or not! I still can't. They all had certain qualities to them that made me want to keep eating them. Whether they were chunky and hearty or smooth and creamy, they all worked so well and we were all delighted at the end of this meal!

I also was thinking that, because these are coming out of a packet you can buy in stores, it would have a lower quality feel and taste to it. You know, a processed food kind of vibe?  It didn't. I heated them up on the stove and it felt like we were sitting down at an awesome restaurant, eating food that was just made. It was unbelievable! It was something that we all commented on with every few bites of food. It continued to blow us away and I can't wait to get my hands on more products from Maya Kaimal because every bite made me happy. That's a quality to look for in food! I've heard amazing things about the simmer sauces from everyone anytime I reposted something from this brand. I think the most amazing thing is that's how I even found out about this brand! One of you tagged me in a post on Instagram that I reposted and then the company reached out to me and I started paying attention to this brand a lot more. You better believe I will be looking for them the next time I go shopping!

Have you tried Maya Kaimal Fine Indian Foods? What's your favorite product from them?  Is it a simmering sauce?  If so, tell me what you make with them! Vegan only, of course. No animals being killed or tortured over here, please. I'm definitely interested in adding these to my pantry staples!