#howdy ma’am

[fromfires]

@fatesalign for caleb !

coat, previously draped over her arm, is throw carelessly into the booth. purse is pulled from her shoulder and tossed along with her jacket. she makes no point to be small in her actions. in fact, she made herself known by the push of the door. made a point to shove it just a bit too hard, made a point to pause and bask in the attention that graced her. she slides into the booth, a half - smirk, half - smile graces her features. “howdy.” a small laugh echos behind her words, as she finds comfort in her seat. eyes glance towards a nearing waitress, her smile pulls deeper onto her face. “long island for me, thanks.” elbows leans across the table, as she leans forward, her eyes searching out his. “alright, caleb, tell me you’ve missed me, i know you have.”

[thewitchandtheassassin]

Honest (Agatha Harkness x Reader)

Summary: “Lady, I’m the manager and the only employee today. Get the hell out of my store.”

Words: 1070

Warnings: Language, suggestiveness??

A/N: I hate that lady and wish Rio had punted her into the sun. That's all.

-X-

From the moment you noticed the white-haired woman storming towards your counter, you knew you were in for a horrible interaction. Plastering a fake, cheerful smile, you greeted her.

“Good afternoon! Did you -”

“This place is a dump,” she hissed, slamming her goods onto the counter. “If my daughter was working in this place at your age, I would disown her. Are your parents proud of you?”

Blinking at her owlishly, you bristled with choked back fury. Truthfully, this wasn’t your normal job - nor was this your only job - but you were covering a shift for your mother, who’d taken your father to the hospital but couldn’t afford to close the small “mom and pop” shop. Being here was a favor, not your career, but some old, miserable bitch didn’t deserve your explanations and you weren’t going to dictate a dissertation of your life to a complete stranger.

“Do you need anything else?” you asked brusquely, scanning the few items before placing them in paper bags.

“Oh god, are you one of those hippies who forces paper over plastic? Get over it. Give me something that isn’t going to rip!” she hissed, digging out her wallet before her eyes go wide at the total. “With such horrible service, you’re still going to charge me that without some sort of compensation for my treatment? I’m certain you have some coupons or sale codes back there that you can use to fix your terrible mistakes. My god, do you need a roadmap?”

“H-horrible service? Ma’am, I…” you paused, looking at the stuff tucked into bags before shaking your head. You’d rather offer your parents money than accept this woman’s cash. “Get out.”

“I beg your pardon?” she sputtered, eyes narrowing in a manner you were certain she used to intimidate teenagers at the supermarket. “You can’t speak to me like this! I want your manager.”

Sliding the bags out of reach, you glared at her with unbridled disdain. “Lady, I’m the manager and the only employee today. Get the hell out of my store.”

“How dare you! I’ve been coming here for years! I’m good friends with the owner and when he hears about this…”

Your snort cut through her ramblings. “Oh, you know him, huh? Well, I’ll be sure to let my mother know her ‘good friend’ came in here acting like a rude, entitled, demented demon from the pits of hell instead of a civilized human being so that she knows to bar you from the shop. Anything else I can do for you before I call the sheriff - an actual good friend - to come escort you off the property?”

Mouth agape, you’d never seen a grown woman look so aghast before and truthfully, you didn’t give a shit. You weren’t some fresh-faced eighteen year old she could push around and bully.

Someone needed to tell her a thing or two and good news, you had the time and the attitude to do just that.

“I need those -“

Slamming your hand onto the counter, your smile grew unsettlingly wide. “Well, bless your heart, guess you better go find somewhere else to get ‘em, huh?”

-X-

After your interaction with the woman the day before, you had little interest in keeping the shop open for your mother another day, but as she tearfully explained she couldn’t return until the next morning, you swallowed your distaste and did as she asked.

“It’s one more day,” you mumbled to yourself, forehead resting in your hand as you sat on the lone stool. “Just one more day.”

You had nearly dozed off when the bell above the door signaled the arrival of your only patron so far. Glancing up, you greeted the dark-haired woman with a faint smile and wave.

“Howdy, how can I help you?”

The woman slid her sunglasses up to the top of her head, pursing her lips in an odd way that had you singling in on the softest looking mouth you’d ever seen. She was beautiful and mysterious and goddammit, you were so gay.

“Do you happen to know who was working yesterday?” she inquired, earning a slow brow arch.

“Yeah…” you drawled out slowly, carefully. “It was me.”

“Oh thank god, I’m glad you’re not some sad teenager who cried after she left,” she muttered, eyes locking on yours. “You had the unfortunate displeasure of speaking with my mother yesterday and I came to apologize. Not so much for her sake, but for my own because your shop sells fabulous face care products I can’t get anywhere else in this godforsaken town and I do not want to end up banned from here.”

Blinking slowly, you nodded after a moment. “Uh, yeah, no, you’re fine. I never woulda guessed she was your mother. She always like that?”

“Cantankerous and miserable? Yes. Has been my whole life.”

“Christ, I feel bad for you,” you blurted, eyes widening instantly as she began to cackle. “Uh, sorry, that was supposed to stay in my head.”

Her lips curled into a wicked smile and it left your insides full of butterflies.

“I like a girl who’s honest,” she teased, offering a hand. “Agatha Harkness.”

You shook her hand, marveling in the smooth skin as you absently gave your name in return. You couldn’t help the way your eyes drifted to her lips before fluttering back up to her gaze.

“I saw that little glance - you’re not as sneaky as you think,” Agatha purred, delighting in the warmth that flooded your cheeks. “What time do you get off… work?”

Glancing at the clock, 5:23 stared back at you tauntingly. The place had been dead all day and at this point, you were just wasting electricity.

Throwing caution to the wind, you shrugged, smirking at Agatha conspiratorially. “Right now if someone gives me a good enough reason.”

“How about you buy me a drink as an apology for my horrible childhood and if it goes well, maybe I’ll find a way to thoroughly apologize for all the trouble you went through yesterday?”

The sparkle in her eye and the way she stared at your lips pointedly for a moment left your heart racing, beating like horse hooves against your ribs. You were nodding before you even realized it, running through your mental checklist for closing the store.

“Give me ten minutes.”

-X-

You closed it in six.

[princessbrunette]

bbf!jj was at your beck and call. reluctantly.

you were lucky he didn’t have any plans on this particular saturday night — infact for once he wasn’t even with your brother when he got the call, lounging on his own couch with a bag of chips and a controller on his lap when he presses the phone to his ear to see what you wanted.

“yeeeeello?” he greets, picking out residue chip from his teeth.

“jj! yay you picked up— okay so, this guy was supposed to drive me home from this party but he ended up getting wasted and now i’ve got no ride home… please come n’get me? please please — n’don’t tell my brother he gets all annoying and judgy—”

the mention of another guy pricked jj’s attention, his brow raising.

“uhhhhh, kinda like… preoccupied right now…” he makes no effort to move, staring ahead at the pause screen on his game before pressing his lips together, the image of you stood alone outside a party all lost and frightened filling his mind like a cloud of poor judgment before he sighs. “yeah i’ll come getcha. text me the addy, okay?”

jj rolls up twenty five minutes later, looking absolutely delectable to your slightly wine-tipsy self and you can’t help the big grin that spreads across your face when he hops out his side of the car to open your door.

“a gentleman.” you tease with a giggle and he awkwardly scratches the back of his neck before stumbling back over to his own side.

“yeah, sum’n like that.”

the streets are oddly empty for a saturday night as jj cruises along, glancing at you as you stare happily at his profile. “you uh, good over there, trouble?”

“mhm… thanks for coming to get me jj…” he feels almost preyed on, seeing you bat your lashes through his peripherals. this only ever ended one way with you, and it filled him with guilt for his closest confidant. god, he was really gonna bone his best friends little sister again— wasn’t he?

“‘mean i always do. s’like our thing at this point… y’know when you hit my phone i know it’s gonna be one of two things. you need’a ride, or… you need’a ride… y’know like, on me.”

“sometimes both…” you are unmoved by his slight accusatory tone, perhaps you don’t even notice it due to your own lust and slight intoxication.

“w—yup. sometimes both.” he glances at you. “is that… what’s goin’ on tonight? or…”

that’s how you end up cramped in the backseat with your knees practically pinned at your tits and jj’s head between your thighs, ravenously devouring you off some empty side street. he was a little pissed. how he’d ended up like this, not even getting anything for himself was beyond him. his love for eating pussy betrayed him, but he couldn’t really complain listening to your pretty moans as he suckles on your clit and curls his fingers up inside— hurrying you towards a thunderous orgasm.

actually — he could complain.

right as you’re about to cum, jj lifts his head suddenly from beneath your dress — slick coating his lower face and a slight irritation to his brow.

“so what am i like just — like, a taxi or somethin’? who is this other guy anyway— the dude that was supposed t’drive you home? sounds like a douche—”

“jj!” you mewl, practically sounding like you were on the verge of tears. “was about t’cum!”

“my bad but real quick if you could just answer the— nope, okay—” he flinches as you weakly throw your fists at wherever you could reach, shoving him back down between your legs. “yes ma’am.” he mutters, before getting back to work.

when the two of you arrive back to your house in silence after the ordeal, hair and clothes a little mussed and disheveled from the backseat shenanigans — the curse of terrible timing strikes, and your older brother opens the front door before you get the chance, stepping out for a smoke.

“the fuck?” he doesn’t seem too alarmed, perhaps in the dark not noticing the clear post sex image projected onto the two of you.

“hey! big bro!” you squeak, overcompensating.

“howdy dude uh — your lil sis here she uh—” jj claps a hand down platonically on your shoulder as you go to speak over him with an explanation.

“he was just passing through and—”

“i saw her leavin’ some place alone n’couldn’t let that happen. drove her right on home. you better get straight to bed, missy.” jj scolds lightheartedly and now you’re avoiding everyone’s eyes, nodding as you squeeze through the two guys.

“mhm. goodnight!”

your brother watches you leave as he digs in his sweatpant pocket for his lighter, before turning his gaze back onto jj — who stands with wide eyes and pursed lips, still as a statue.

“whatever.” he shrugs tiredly, before moving past the blonde to walk down the drive to his usual smoking spot.

[wormtoxin]

She sips hair-of-the-dog in a backwater saloon in a town so small it’s nameless. She passes a ranch hand, a desperate squire with no master, carrying a banner with no meaning. It’s got that stupid bowlcut all the squires seem to have. Reminds her too much of herself.

She lets the gasoline moonshine burn off some more of her stubble. The wide brim of her helmet shades her eyes. Maybe, if she’s very quiet and still in the dark, her hangover won’t find her. It only senses motion, like a dinosaur.

“Howdy ma’am.” A squeaky voice. Cloying, senseless. The pit behind her eyes starts to throb immediately, a dog called to heel. Ah well, worth a shot.

She looks up. It’s here, nearly eye level since she’s slouching in her own chair. Its backpack is huge, stuffed full of provisions. Its banner is nearly 6 feet long, coffin-sized. It’s drawing the eyes of other early-morning drinkers.

“Spit it out,” she chuffs.

“Ma’am— Sir,” it corrects quickly. “You’re a knight, ain’t you?” A drawl. Poorly educated. Speaking colloquially to its superior. She ought to behead it. But if she moves, she’ll vomit.

“So?”

“Who do you serve?” It says ‘serve’ reverently, like it’s something special. She’s definitely gonna hurl.

“Noone,” she says. A few other patrons’ ears perk up. She regrets it immediately.

She knocks back the last of her drink, and spots fill her vision. She blinks them away.

“Ain’t your momma teach you not to talk to strangers?” she reprimands. It doesn’t have the instinct to flinch yet, a pup who’s gone unnoticed by the kennel master, runt of the litter.

“You’re a knight,” it says, as though the two thoughts are connected.

“If I was a smart knight, I’d beat you senseless and sell you to the highest bidder.” It had a pretty face and soft curls, like a girl. Squires don’t get the privilege of being assigned a sex until they’re knighted. That usually doesn’t stop people, though.

She stands, and a few other patrons stand up too. She pulls her duster aside to put a hand in her pocket, and the hilt of her sword pokes out. Well-worn handle, gleaming trigger. It’s worth enough that anyone would gut her for a chance to steal it. Noone tries.

She leaves the saloon, and a ray of sunlight passes through both eyes like a lightning bolt, skewering her brain. She vomits immediately.

A clean hand offers a hankerchief, and she accepts it without thinking, blots away the bile steaming off her teeth. She looks up to see it again, eyes wide and curious. She spits.

“Are you stupid?” she croaks.

“A little,” it answers bashfully. Fair enough.

“Whose banner is that?” she points with her chin.

“Yours, Sir, I hope.” It scuffs a toe in the sand, waiting expectantly.

She hauls herself up off her knees, patting sand from her trousers. She really looks at it.

Denim that might’ve once been a royal blue, now dusted with sand and ash into a bluish-gray. A stitched emblem of The Falling Star, a many-pointed radiant thing with a long tail of white-gold fire.

The emblem of once-blessed sinners, damned things of the earth. The emblem of gravity, downward spirals, all things breathless and heaving towards their ends. A pointless emblem. A banner that declares its master’s approaching end.

“You stitch that yourself?” she says.

“Yessir,” it says. Poorly educated, but well-brought up. Always says Please and Thank Yous.

“Looks like shit.” She’s not the type to take in strays. There’s always a kitten hanging around, mewling for milk, showing off its ribcage. She’s no momma cat. Doesn’t waste breath on cooing, doesn’t waste cash on withering things. She’s got plenty of betting debts, but none associated with losing dogs. Doesn’t like to be disappointed when dying things die.

“Don’t let it trail in the sand like that,” she says. While she unties the bridle and hitches a boot in a stirrup, the squire quickly turns, chasing it like a tail, scooping it up into its arms and patting the sand off.

“So you’ll take me?” it says, and her heart twinges. It’s the first hopeful note to touch her ears in decades.

“I won’t kill you if you try to follow me,” she says, “That’s all. I ain’t letting you ride with me, and I won’t stop just cause you get blisters.”

It squeals a profusion of gratitude, backpack clattering with god knows what, and she immediately kicks herself for being soft.

[fandomnerd9602]

Wanda and Y/N attend a cowboy themed costume party…

Y/N: howdy there ma’am

Wanda: howdy yourself cowboy

Y/N: I don’t normally say this but I’d be your huckleberry

Wanda: hmm…why don’t we go somewhere more private for a taste test? (winks)

Y/N: well don’t mind if-

Tony: why do you two have to flirt so much?!

Y/N: it was in my marriage vows to this magnificent woman, Stark!

Wanda: well this magnificent woman wants to take this cowboy for a ride

Wanda playfully pulls Y/N out of the room…

[briefalpacashark]

~Cowboys and Men~ Part One ~

Synopsis : The 141 have to play cowboys.

================================================

You sat along with the other boys of the 141 as you stared at Laswell. She had just delivered the news of your next mission.

“Well shit,” you grin widely. Why? The mission was right up your alley. You had personal experience practically having grown up in the thick of it. The boys, however. You were almost certain that none of them had even come close to anything like it.

The mission. Going undercover in an American rodeo. 

“So you want us to play cowboy?” Price asked.

“That’s right. Long enough till you find this guy and bring him in,” she stated tapping her knuckle on a photo of the target. An older man with a grim surrounded by gray hair and a killer mustache.

“Y/N you'll be the one participating in the rodeo. The boys will be your team,” Laswell explained simply. 

“Her team?” Jonny asked, jabbing his thumb at you. “Why can't I be the horse rider huh?” he asked.

“Can you ride a horse?” Laswell asked.

“Well no, canne be hard, can it?” his question had you chuckling.

“Its an invite only event, we've got a contact. You'll head out tomorrow to show him what you got. He'll slot you in where he can,” Laswell focused on you as she spoke.

“Sure thing boss,” you nodded.

“Honestly Laswell, I think I could do a pretty good job,” Jonny stated.

“The fact that you think a rodeo only involves horses proves how unqualified you are for it,” You stated.

“And you are?” Jonny asked.

“I grew up in the saddle of a horse, mate. You're looking at a genuine drover,” you gestured to your body with a smirk.

“The fuck is a drover?” Jonny asked the rest of the team. Gaz simply shrugged.

“Alright dismissed,” Laswell said. 

You were quickly dispatched to the good old US of A. You were dropped off in a random field via helicopter. Your team walked up to two men on horseback. The one on the left was tall and buff with golden hair to die for. The other was slightly shorter and stubbier. But they both had one thing in common. They looked like genuine cowboys. Hats and everything.

“Howdy!” Jonny called with a terrible American accent.

“Fucken hell,” you chuckled, shaking your head.

“Forgive him. He's hit his head a few too many times,” Price stated.

“That stunt his growth too?” The blond asked. Your laugh broke through your lips as Jonny’s smile fell.

“The one you just shut up is Soap, that's Gaz, Ghost. I’m Bravo and that’s Doc.” he pointed you all out the cowboys, tipping their hat’s to you.

“Ma’am, I heard you're the only one with experience in the saddle,” the smile the blond gave you was slightly flirtatious.

“Since I was two. Grew up on a cattle station over in Australia,” You stated walking up to him to give them both a firm handshake.

“How could you choose the military life over one in the saddle?” he asked.

“Plan to get back to it one day,” you said your attention being grabbed by his horse that tried to nibble your jacket.

“He's gorgeous. Mustang?” You asked, reaching up to brush his nose.

“Yes Ma’am,” he nodded. “Care for a ride?” he asked with a wink. You chuckled at his obvious flirting attempt.

“Sorry mate. Not planning in hoping in any saddle that aint my own,” you said, giving the horse a pat.  

“Alright, well, this is Sam, my name's Aurthur,” he stated.

“Pleasure to meet you,” Price stated spoke up drawing the attention off you. 

“Pleasures all ours, Come on by the looks of you, it seems like we've got some work to do,” he stated.

“Work of what?” Gaz asked.

“To make you a lot cowboys,” he said with a grin.

First order of business, if you were to pass for cowboys, you had to look the part. Aurthur generously offered to take you all shopping. Your choice was quick, picked out for practicality. A simple light blue button up. A pair of denim jeans, a comfortable pair of boots and your old hat. You pulled the beat up looking thing out of your bag. It was your simple cattleman hat shape, in a dusty brown colour. It was scuffed and dirty, but it was yours. Setting it atop your head, you smiled at the familiar feeling. Slipping on the dark leather jacket, you fixed the collar before stepping out of the changing room.

“Look out,” Jonny stated from their allocated seats, all gathered in front of the changing rooms.

“So how do I look?” You asked, giving them a little pose.

“Like one hell of a rider,” Aurthur spoke up.

“So so,” Gaz tilted his hand back and forth.

“Oh yeah, let's see you do better,” you said tauntingly.

“Watch a master at work,” Gaz stated. You all waited for his outfit choice. When he stepped out you almost died of laughter. Tassels, tassels and fringe everywhere. On his head sat a bright red Tom Mix hat.

“What you don't think it's good?” he asked jokingly. 

“You look like you'll fly away in a light breeze,” Jonny joked.

“Eat shit soap,” Gaz flipped him off.

“Nah, I'll show you how it's done,” Jonny spoke up. Yells of shock sounded from you all as he walked out in a pair of assless chaps. Only they weren't assless. In fact you saw a lot of ass due to the fact that Jonny only wore the chaps. Nothing else. He held a small bowler's hat in front of his privates as he pretended to act confused. He turned around, giving you a clear view of his rosy red cheeks.

“Fucken hell,” you chuckled, tipping your hat down to cover your gaze.

“You know, I don't think I put these on in the right order,” he stated. Even the Price cracked a chuckle or two.

“Might get a rash ridding a saddle like that,” Ghost stated.

“I like it,” you said. Jonny gave you a wink.

“Come on Captain,” Jonny encouraged Price when his ass was contained again. 

Price walked out in a good pairing. A deep red button up, a pair of jeans, some lovely light brown boots, a light brown fleece jacket and a white brick shaped hat. 

“Captain my captain,” You whistled.

“Where did you find that fashion sense cap?” Ghost asked.

“Quiet you,” Price warned playfully.

“You know those videos where a baby sees their dad with their beard shaved for the first time and they just break out crying,” You asked. Jonny hummed in acknowledgment.

“I feel like that with that hat he's wearing,” you whispered. Jonny chuckled.

“Alright Ghost your turn,” Jonny said slapping Ghost shoulder. Ghost slowly moved his eyes from the captain to Jonny daring him to hit him again.

“Alright, be that way grumpy,” Jonny muttered. “Guess it's my turn again,” he stated. With your help, Jonny walked out in a tight black long sleeve shirt, a denim jacket and jeans. Black boots and a brown rolled brim with a puncher crown. He looked alright apart from the obviously large belt buckle he wore. A picture of a bulls head engraved on it.

“Compensating?” you asked, nodding to the buckle, getting a bird flipped to you.

“At least his ass is covered this time,” Ghost grumbled. Gaz tried again, deciding on a cowboy version of a lumberjack. Plated shirt with a vest jacket, a dark blue pair of jenes and a black version of his original hat. 

“Careful Gaz, that shirt looks a little tight,” Jonny called.

“That's the point,” Gaz stated with a smirk flexing his biceps.

“They can try all they want. The look of a cowboy is something that comes naturally. A look, ma’am that if you'll let me say looks extremely good on you,” Arthur leaned down to whisper to you. You smirked, shrugging.

“I don't know, I think they're pulling it off,” you stated. You chuckled as Gaz tried to perform his best cowboy walk. Hand on his belt and slaughtering forward before making a gun motion with his hand. And Jonny, who pretended to slow motion, to doge said bullets.

“Yeah sure,” Arthur muttered, making you chuckle harder. As you continued to watch Gaz and Jonny make a fool of themselves, you failed to notice a certain pair of eyes set on you. 

“Careful Lieutenant, you glare any harder and he might just get the message,” Price smirked as he saw the slightly pissed expression hidden behind the skull mask.

“Don't know what you mean, sir,” Ghost grumbled before walking away. 

Noticing Ghost's missing presence, you went to look for him, finding him in front of the many hats on display.

“Having trouble choosing?” You asked, walking up to him.

“Any pointers?” he asked.

“Can't help you there. This was my uncle's hat. He lost it when I won a bet,” you said.

“But,” you trailed off, your eyes searching through the hats. You smiled, reaching out to grab one.

“Yeah, this one,” you said, placing it on his head. It was low and pinched a grayish black.

“Yeah, that suits you,” you stated simply with a satisfied nod before walking away. 

When you all returned to the ranch, Simon changed into his outfit. Black jeans, dark brown boots, a black leather jacket and dark grey button up. On his head sat the hat you chose, and he still wore his skull balaclava.

“Well hello handsome,” Jonny called as he walked out to you.

“Zip it Mc’tavish,” he grumbled. Jonny chuckled as he walked up to you. In the pen Arthur walked out a horse already saddled up. Spotting other ranchers gathering round to watch with eager grins, you quickly assessed what was happening. It was a bucking horse, or at least one they were trying to break.

“Alright, lesson one of being a cowboy. Staying on a horse that doesn't want you to stay on,” Arthur stated with a wide grin.

“Any volunteers?” he asked. You chuckled, shaking your head as Jonny raised his hand eagerly.

“Love the spirit scots, man. This here is Bessy,” Arthur said, gesturing him forward. You whipped your mouth as Jonny confidently made his way into the pen.

“Ello Bessy,” he smirked. 

“I'd say goodbye to your balls now Soap, while you have the chance,” you called out to him.

“Ah, away with ye. I'll be fine,” Jonny waved you off.

“He's gonna eat shit isn't he?” Ghost asked folding his arms over his chest.

“All five courses of it,” you chuckled, pulling yourself up to sit on the railings. 

“He has medical cover right?” you asked Price that only shock his head at his soldier stupidity.

“Alright Soap. hold on tight,” After Arthur gave him a basic run down and when Jonny was sat comfortable in the saddle did he stepped back.

“You're gonna set a timer, wanna make sure there is proof when I stay on longer than those bastards,” Jonny nodded back to you all, giving you a wide confident grin as the horse started to pad at the ground.

“Sure thing, champ,” Arthur grinned. “Go on, give her a kick,” he suggested casually, taking a few cautious steps back. 

“What like this?” Jonny asked, kicking his heels gently into her sides. 

You knew pigs couldn't fly, but Jonny sure could. One buck had the poor man was out of the saddle onto the horses ass, then the second buck had the man cartwheeling through the air before landing flat on his ass his legs split in front of him. You and Gaz was practically dying of laughter as Jonny rolled around in pain holding his manly jewels. After Jonny’s poor first display, the ranchers started to pass around bets. 

“Who's next?” Arthur asked, turning to you lot.

Gaz sat on the back of Bessy looking like he was about to shit himself.

“Ok what do I do?” he asked shakily.

“Hold on,” Arthur stated simply.

“I know that, but I don't know the first thing about horses. Do do I pat it?” he asked.

“Sure, it probably won't do you any good though,” Arthur shrugged walking back.

“Come on Gaz,” you called encouragingly.

“I changed my mind, I want to get down,” Gaz stated. As he shifted his weight in the saddle, Bessy fell into a fit. Bucking and kicking like crazy. Gaz lasted about four seconds before he was bucked off. 

“This is bullshit,” Gaz grumbled, limping back to you trying to remove the dirt from his mouth. 

“Are the betting on us?” Jonny asked nodding to the growing group.

“There ranchers, this is probably the best entertainment they've had all week,” you stated.

“Yeah well they should stop,” Gaz grumbled.

“Why? They're actually betting in your favor,” you lied.

“Really?” he asked with a small grin of hope.

“No,” you chuckled, shaking your head, Gaz's smile instantly falling.

“Your acting way too high and mighty or this,” Gaz stated.

“I think I'm acting the right amount of high and mighty for my skills,” You shrugged.

“Skills we haven't seen yet,” Gaz grumbled.

“I don't need to prove anything,” you shrugged.

“Well, if ye so confident in yourself lass. How bout a wee little bet?” Jonny asked.

“Depends on what it is,” you smirked. With the smirk Jonny already knew you accepted the bet. 

“If anyone of us can last longer than you, you owe us all a week of sick leave,” Jonny put the offer forward. In the military you need a doctor's note or your medic's permission to have a sick day. Which was practically impossible to get. You don't abuse your power but you didn't put up with their bullshit either. So they only ever got sick leave when they were actually sick. And not a man cold either, they had to actually be sick.

“And what do I get?” you asked.

“Bragging rights?” Jonny suggested.

“I'll settle for a picture of you in the outfit you rocked back at the shop,” you stated, pointing to him. Jonny grinned widely.

“Deal,” he said as you too shook on it. 

“You ready, boss?” Jonny asked, turning to Price.

“A week of sick leave, you said?” he asked, debating if he wanted to be a part of your shenanigans.

“Yes sir,” you nodded. 

“Right,” he muttered, pushing his hat further down on his head before slipping in the coral and shaking his jacket off his shoulders.

You had to give it to Price, he was pretty good. And he looked like he stepped right out of a cow boy movie. The mustache and the fit was just perfect. You sucked in a breath as he was thrown from the horse. Impressed cheers came from the others. He lasted almost ten seconds.

“Ghost?” Jonny suggested.

“I prefer to keep my balls unpopped,” Ghost grumbled.

“Guess that's me then,” You spoke up. Walking up to Bessy you smiled brushing her nose before walking round her to where Arthur stood.

“Need a hand?” he offered.

“Nah mate,” you said effortlessly, swinging yourself up onto the saddle and taking the reins in hand. The familiar creak of the leather saddle and the ruff feel of the reins was welcoming. You settled into the back of the saddle, leaning back slightly. You pressed your hat down far enough down your forehead that the only thing you saw was your hands and the horse's shoulder blades.

“Alright, lets fucking do this,” you whispered before gently kicking her. You leaned back as far as you could and pulled the reins tight as she bucked wildly. Your body was jerked about left and right back and forth, yet you held on. The boys had to admit they were impressed. The ranchers cheered as the seconds drew on. As you hit the thirty second mark you swore as the horse slammed up against the side of the railings. To avoid you leg getting crushed you lumped off, the force sending you flying over the fence, right into Arthur who just happened to be sitting stop it. The two of you hit the ground in a cloud of dust. A relatively soft fall for you due to you landing on the cowboy.

“Fuck you alright?” You asked as you quickly hopped off the poor man.

“Look at that, falling for you already,” he groaned, painfully accepting your hand to help him up.

“That line usually work?” you asked with a small smile. You had to admit he was kinda cute.

“Well I don't usually have pretty women tackling me off the fence but here we are,” he said. You chuckled, shaking your head picking up your hat.

“How long was that Jonny!?” You yelled across the coral.

“Too fucking long!” he yelled back. You grinned smugly making your way back over to the boys.

Gaz and Jonny were adamant on getting those sick days. Price opted in for a few more tries, coming only four seconds from your record before he called it quits.

“Not gonna have a go Ghost?” you asked nudging his side.

“Risk getting hurt before the mission, not likely,” he stated as you watched Jonny narrowly avoid a broken bone. 

“Fair enough,” you muttered. The boys could not beat your best. With bruised bodies and prides you all retired to your a few spar rooms in the bunkhouse.

The next morning, you all gathered before dawn. Arthur said you were gonna learn how to ride. The boys walking a bit slower than they usually would. You were all assigned horses. Ghost and Price and Gaz were going well after some instruction. And Jonny. Well let's just say he wasn't built to ride horses. He just couldn't wrap his head around it. Loud laughs sounded as the horse started to trot slightly, sending your little scotsman's bouncing rapidly in his saddle.

“Fu-Uck En H-EL-LL,” he said through bounces as his head bobbled around. You rode up to him gently pulling on the rains to get the horse to slow down.

“Come on Mate. your ancestors road these guys into battle,” You said.

“Nah, these are American horses. If it was a scottish horse I would be grand,” he stated definitely. Amused by his logic, you just shook your head. To your surprise, Simon pulled up on the other side of Jonny. “Having a bit of trouble there?” Ghost asked smuggle. “Fuck Ye LT,” Jonny grunted, trying to glare only for him to slid sideways in the saddle. You reached out holding his jacket to keep him steady as he readjusted. Ghost smirked before trotting forward. You rode up to his side looking over his posture, one hand resting on his thigh, the other holding both the reins. 

“You’ve done this before,” you stated.

“When I was a kid,” he muttered.

“It shows, You're a natural,” you said.

“Not as good as you,” he said.

“Oh stop it, you'll make me blush,” you grinned. He glanced over at your smile, grunting in response.

“So this is your dream, huh?” he asked. Your grin turned into a fond smile.

“Yeah. I want a nice plot of land in the tablelands,” you stated.

“Table lands?” Ghost asked.

“I'll admit you guys have some nice green pastures in England. But the tablelands. Man, it's something different altogether. Rolling green hills right out of a picture book. It's high up, lots of rain, and rainforests. Fog will roll over the hills in the cold mornings and arvos. I'll have five horses, shit ton of chickens and cows. Maybe a goat or two,” your shrugged. “Two dogs. One working kelpie and and little staffy,” you continued.

“A big old cottage that I built myself. Oh, it's gotta have a basement. Definitely a secret passage. Maybe a fake skeleton chucked in there.” your words had Simon smiling as his eyes settled on you. Settled on the sparkle of your eyes as you described it all.

“Oh and there will be this big ol tree. If I have a family I'll string it up with fairy lights and lanterns. I'll invite you boys round for week long adventures. Big ol fire place next to it,” you reminisce of a life that you possibly might never get to live. After all, your job wasn't necessarily safe.

“Oh so I’m a part of this future huh?” he asked. The instant your gaze turned to him he realized what he said. His face flushed as your smile became impossibly brighter.

“Of course,” you stated simply. Only when you did think of all those things you left out one key part. Whenever you thought about your future, the annoying prick in front of you would pop into the frame. Helping you build the cottage. Putting one of his masks on the fake skeletons. Him in the tree hanging up the lights. Him sitting next to you around the roaring fire. Clearing his throat his face flushed deeply as he looked back to the path in front of you. You didn't see the flush though. You simply saw him avoiding your gaze. For a moment, he wondered if he was having a heart attack. He thought it was the only explanation for his rapid heartbeat.

“Were going for a run care to join?” Arthur called back to you.

“Sure,” you called back. 

“So you ready to show me just how good you are?” You leaned over to Ghost with a taunting

“Perhaps,” he grunted.

“First one to the tree up on that ridge,” you suggested.

“Are we betting anything?” he asked.

“Bragging rights?” you shrugged. “On three?” you suggested.

“Alright, three,” he stated kicking his horse into a gallop. An excited grin stretched across your face as you did the same. The cantering group let out exclamations of surprise as you two zoomed past them in a full gallop. Even with his headstart you quickly caught up to him. Riding would forever feel different to everything in your life. It felt like flying, but so much more magical. As you were neck and neck you looked over to Ghost who looked to you. With a wink, you dropped the reins, opening your arms out as the horse pulled forward. You won by just an inch. 

The next day it was game time. You were strapped up and dressed up for your rodeo. You left a little earlier than the boys. You were hanging around beer in hand playing the part as Arthur introduced you to a few people. Chucking your watch you glanced at the time.

“They should be here by now,” you muttered.

“Speak of the devils,” Arthur muttered nodding behind you. A low whistle left your lips as you took them in.

As everyone took them in. Women, buckle bunnies and men had their eyes set on the group. They looked like a master piece of hot manliness. And you had to admit they looked good enough to have anyone's panties dropped with just a word. There boots kicking up dust as they strutted through the crowd. You swore the music was perfect of their entrance, looking like a scene out of a movie.

“Boys,” you nodded to them as they approached.

“Anna,” Price nodded to you. Your cover name for the mission.

“Come on, I've got to introduce you to someone,” Arthur stated beckoning you all over. You sucked in a small breath as he took you all to the target. 

“Tommy,” Arthur greeted the man like old friends.

“Arthur, how are you, my boy?” he asked. He was an older man, a true cowboy.

“Good Good,” Arthur nodded as they embraced.

“So you're the one Arthurs has been speaking about. You should know outsiders aren't usually welcome here,” the target stated as he turned to you.

“What scared of the challenge?” you asked with a teasing smile. The man paused a beat before breaking out into laughter.

“She's a spunk fire all right. Name’s Tom, everyone calls me Tommy,” he greeted holding his hand out to you.

“Anna,” you introduced yourself.

“Anna, you dont look like an Anna,” he said.

“Oh yeah, what do I look like?” you asked.

“Some real classy name. Like Evangeline or somethin,” he stated.

“Well, you certainly look like a Tommy,” you said.

“Why thank you ma’am,” he tipped his hat to you.

“And who are these fellas?” he asked turning to the boys.

“I'm her manager, Cole,” Price introduced himself. “These boys are on the team,” he stated, pointing to the rest who gave nods.

“I see, well fellas I'll see you out there,” he stated giving you another nod before walking off.

“So we grabbing him?” Jonny asked.

“To many people here,” Price mumbled.

“After the main event you'll have your chance, that's when he goes home,” Arthur said. You nodded, glancing around you. Fancy profession buckers were walking all round you. 

“Nervous Darling?” Arthur asked. The boys gaze snapped to him, some pissed of some surprised. The way American men say darling is just something different.

“I'm about to strap myself to a state of the art bucking horse. Of corse im fucking nervous,” you muttered.

“Don't worry. Come on, there are some other events before. Let's get you warmed up,” he stated. You needed to keep your mind occupied, so you agreed. Steer wrestling and roping was your go to. You didn't place first in anything but you didn't do too bad. The boys looked at you in a different light as you rode beside a young bull, jumping off your horse to wrestle it to the ground, flipping it over and tying its legs up. 

“God damn,” Jonny whispered as you stood to your feet holding your hands in the air.

“She's good, really good,” Arthur stated as he stood by the boys.

“That's our girl,” Price stated simply.

“So, what are you lot to her?” he asked.

“What?” Gaz asked squinting at the man.

“You lot seem real close. I know you're a team but I don't want to step on anyone's toes, I'm a gentle man like that,” he shrugged.

“What do you mean step on anyone's toes?” Price asked, his arms folding over his chest taking on the protective dad stance.

“Look if she's spoken for I'll back off. But I don't see no ring, and she calls you all by name. No pet names,” Arthur trailed off before turning to Ghost.

“So I guess im asking what are you to her,” the question was pointed at Ghost the boys quickly catching on. Ghost turned fully to him tucking his hand under his arm pits where his guns sat, hidden by his jacket. Although he made a point to let the smooth metal peek out.

“I'm the guy that fucks you up seven ways to Sunday if you hurt her,” his voice was deathly low, shaking Arthur up a bit. Yet it was Simon's glare that had the man really scared. 

But he also got the answer he wanted.

“So she's available?” Arthur pointed out with a grin.

================================================

=Cowboys and Men = Part Two here=

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~COD Master List Here~

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[romanarose]

Puck Bunny

Hockey player!Tommy Miller x Puck bunny!reader

Join my taglist : Masterlist

Buy Me A Coffee : Kofi : Go Fund Me

Summary: You're gonna make Tommy yours

Warnings: Fingering, leg humping, fucked with a foregein object <3, ass slapping.

Please consider reblogging to spread it!

A/N first time writing Tommy with no Joel!

Shout out to @sweetlummie and @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog for encouraging me!

Dividers by @animatedglittergraphics-n-more

He didn’t know it, but the new rookie for Texas Stars skating around below you was going to be your boyfriend. 

Tommy Miller was an often underlook member of the team, but those who knew what they were talking about saw his potential, saw the way he moved with grace despite his large build, how he kept calm under pressure, his speed and his aim. He just needed… encouragement. While all the other girls went for the men with more play time, whose sports trading cards posted more goals, or who were already names among any hockey fan, you had your eyes set on him.

It wasn’t like he didn’t get attention from girl; of course he did, he was beautiful. Kind eyes and the most profoundly sparkling smile you’d ever seen, all framed in dark curls.

He practiced alone, sentenced to hours of grueling routines to make up for his little fumble today while his teammates were out partying with girls or at home fucking their wives. It wasn’t fair that he got punished. Harold was the one who tried to pass it to Tommy when Jake was wide fucking open! Tommy did his best with what he was given, which was a not-clear shot and when he took it, he missed. Trailing only one point behind, the buzzer went off and Tommy was blamed for losing the game.

Skidding to a stop, Tommy looked up at the near empty bleachers where you sat. He touched his finger to his helmet and tipped his head. Such a cowboy, you thought, and we went on practicing.

*

The locker door slamming signaled where he was at, and you give a little courtesy knock at the entrance.

“C’in.” Tommy calls, probably assuming you’re a teammate or coach, or even staff.

“Yuh decent?” 

Whatever he was expecting, when he turned around his face indicated it wasn’t you.

“Oh. Howdy, ma’am?” Tommy’s voice inflected up at the end, sounding more like a question than a greeting. Still, you lean against the doorway and admire the view.

Even cuter up close, you admire. Little freckles sprinkled his face, and his smile was so boyish and cute your heart fluttered.

“I uh… I seen you ‘round.” He repeated your name, and it made you happy to know he knew it. That meant he’d asked about you. You and Tommy talked a few times, mostly in groups, but you’d never been introduced. “What’cha do’n here so late? Pretty little thing like you gotta have a nice young man wait’n at home for yuh?”

You shake your head. “Nope. Not yet, anyway. Wasn’t think’n ‘bout tryna change that.”

Pink flushed his skin, but his smile grew. “Is that so, sweet thing? Do I got myself a little puck bunny on my hands?”

You push yourself off the wall, a spring in your step as you bound towards him.Hands clasped behind your back, you gaze up at him with big eyes. Fuck, his shadow just swollowed you up. “Nothing you aren’t used to, I’m sure.”

“Been around a time or two, I won’t lie…” A large, LARGE hand reached out to cup your face and you can’t help but squeal. As your little plans were happening. “None quite as cute as the little bunny I got in front of me, though.”

Taking a little initiative, you pressed yourself up against his red jersey. He smells like sweat and the metallic air of an ice rink. His body was firm against you. “Want you to fuck me.” You blurt out, and the sultry look on his face breaks into a wide grin. 

“That’s why you break’n into my locker room?”

You nod. He leans closer.

“Well, how can I say no to such a pretty little bunny?”

His mouth crashes into you, shoving you right up against the locker doors with a rattling crash as his hands paw all over you. Tommy dwarfs you, his wide shoulders and barrel chest completely caging you in. The force of his kisses and powerful presence is so much so you’d feel trapped if you weren’t so fucking turned on. Hands down your pants, Tommy bites hard at your lip and sucks on it to ease the pain as he fiddles with your cunt.

“Wet already?” He teases, smirk pressed against your skin.

“I- I was thinking about you… while I watched…” You moan against him bucking your hand against Tommy’s fingers as they teased your entrance.

“So eager… Tell me, Bunny, how come I got so lucky to find you in my locker, not one of my teammates? Chance?”

You want his long fingers inside you so bad, sweating from the teasing enough you don’t even feel the chill of the air. “Tommyyyy, please!”

“Talk to me, bebita. I won’t be mad if I just happened to be who was here tonight, promise.”

“No! No, Tommy, you’re special… you’re gonna be a star, I just know it…”

When you glance up at him, you expect to see a smirk. Instead, his face is soft. “You really think that?”

Quickly, you nod. “I’d put money on it. You’re unlike anyone I’ve ever seen…”

“Fuck-” Suddenly he’s finger fucking you, the wet squelch of your cunt echoing around you, about filth filling the locker room. “Gonna treat you so good, pretty baby. So fuck’n good.” It’s then you realize he’s humping against you, hard cock grinding against your thigh

Your hands grip his huge forearms, searching for purchase and stability as he drew you closer to orgasm. Tommy sucked deep into your neck, sure to leave a mark you’d proudly display. You were taken. Tommy was gonna be yours. Yeah, you were hooking up right now and it wasn’t a commitment, it wasn’t a proclamation of love but it was a start.

“Cum for me, bunny.” Tommy’s voice was tight, tense...

And you did. You’d do anything he wanted. Waves of pleasure crash around you, clenching down hard on his three fingers and crying out his name as he muttered curses against your ear. Little moans escaped his mouth as he too came, cuming only from humping your leg and finger fucking you cunt. Your knees went weak, melting into jelly but Tommy caught you.

He bent you down and over the bench, stomach pressed to the cool wood and your ass and pussy on clear display in the harsh LED lights.

Panting, Tommy kneels down next to you; not before you can see a wet spot in his uniform.

“Think…” He pants. “Think you can take more?”

Smiling, you turn to look at him. “Does the phrase fuck like rabbits mean nothing to you?”

He laughs at that, calling you a good girl and kisses your forehead.

Still, you nod to where his erection is gone, already wasting his seed in his pants. “You gonna get hard for me again already, pretty boy?”

A chuckles as he reaches around you, walking on his knees to get a good look from behind. “Not quite, bunny…” A tsk, tsk, tsk from his mouth as he stares at your vulnerable position. “Such a pretty little cunt… it’d be shame to leave it all put together, huh?”

You didn’t know what he had planned and you didn’t care. “Yeah, it would.”

Cool plastic hits your wet cunt and you gasp.

The hockey stick.

“Gonna take real good care of you…” Tommy mutters, planting a kiss to your ass. “And then I’m gonna take you on a real fuck’n date, that sound good?”

Oh, things are coming together nicely. “Yes Tommy. Sounds real nice.”

“Good girl.”

And then all you could feel was your cunt being spread open. It was slow, careful but still an agonizing split.

“Ooooh shit!” You moan, and despite the ache you push yourself back against him to take it further. It was delicious, it was wrong, and you were 100% willing to humiliate yourself for Tommy… but it didn’t feel humiliating. It felt good. It felt good because you felt full, it felt good because you could hear Tommy’s grin as he praised you. He began to fuck you with it, the handle going as far up as it could and you grip the bench you’re knelt against to try and hold onto reality and you come barrelling towards your orgasm again. 

*Smack!*

Tommy slapped your ass just to watch it jiggle.

“Fuck! Fuck you’re perfect… my bunny. My perfect bunny…”

Wrapping an arm around you, Tommy plays with your clit and that's the beginning of the end for you.

“Tommy!” You scream his name, hearing it bounce down the hallways but you don’t fucking care. You would let Tommy stick whatever he wanted wherever he wanted if it meant he called you his bunny again.

You cum on the hockey stick, drenching it in your fluids and feeling it splatter out around your thighs as he keeps fucking you.

Satiated, smiling, and full, you fully slump against the bench and Tommy finally pulls the stick out. All clear, you let yourself slide onto the cool tile floor, red lockers creating a wall around you. And you laugh.

If Tommy cares that you’re laughing after sex he does show it, instead crawling over to where your head rest after he pulls up your pants, giggling himself. He pulls your head onto his lap, gently caressing you.

“How you feel’n?”

You grin up at him, Tommy’s near-black locks falling around him. “A little empty right now, honestly.”

This makes him laugh again. “Well, I got all night, bebita. I can fill you right up again” When you’re read he helps you up. “You’re really someth’n, y’know that?”

“I do, actually. That’s why I think we’d be good together.”

“Can’t help but agree with yuh there.” You watch him dress down, to his padding, then tell him you’ll wait for him outside the locker room. As much as you wanna see him naked, you decide to make that event a little more special.

When he’s showered and back in his regular clothes, still as thick as ever, you loop you arm around his and he guides you out of the maze of the rinks halls, his back heavy on your shoulder, but you insist. 

As he walks you out, you cross paths with one of his team mates coming back in for some practice, Carter. Tall as hell, blonde, and with a young man on his arm, he takes one look at your mussed hair and hickies, then pats Tommy on the back as they pass.

You were Tommy’s puck bunny now.

hope you liked it!!!!

Other content of mine with tommy: The Wrong Way, Yes Uncle tommy? Blessed be the fruit

Also shout out to my beloved @aurorawritestoescape for her sexy sexy Bad Blood with tommy and joel!

Im working on a tommy exclusive series rn that I hope will be the right kind of mind fuck <3 will start releasing it with the new season! TOMMY MILLER FANS RISE!!!

@my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @miraclesabound @sunshineispunk @umnitsa @huskyfox5 @musings-of-a-rose

[cryptotheism]

Lilly: Good morning New Babel, you're listening to Screw Loose, your favorite early-morning exo rig and rig maintenance rig show this side of the white river, I'm Lilly.

The Bear: And I'm the Bear, and you- are on the air. What can we help you with?

Caller: Howdy girls! Togen, from the South Teykile. I've got a bit of a mystery for ya, I was hoping you could help me solve it.

Lilly: Oh lovely! I think we're ready to sleuth.

The Bear: What the problem doll?

Togen: So I'm a boatwright. About a month ago, I'm on the job in a Wylan Mastiff UD-940. I'm lifting a panel of ship-chitin that weighs maybe 1000 kilograms, and I can feel the exhaust channels getting hot.

The Bear: Uh oh.

Lilly: Uh oh indeed.

Togen: I figure I'm overcycling, but the Mastiff can pull 1000kg easy right? So I put down the panel, and suddenly, BOOM! Radiator explodes right out of the chassis! I can hear the I-bolts ping against field tech's facemask!

[Both hosts begin to laugh]

Lilly: Huh!?

The Bear: Okay okay hold on a second-

Togen: I've got an insulated undersuit, but the radiator is just full-on burning at this point. Now, I'm not about to jump into the Occimedian with my rig on, so I slam the emergency kill. So now I'm lyin there, facefirst on the dock, hollerin for the other idiots to put me out!

The Bear: You had an extinguisher right?

Lilly: Maybe someone had a drink?

Togen: Well...Okay so get this. The yard has an extinguisher. That's union. But before someone could grab it, one of the boys uh, relieves himself, on the radiator.

[The hosts are silent for a moment, but can't keep it going. Lilly snorts loudly as she laughs.]

Togen: Hey it worked! Problem is, the damn thing hasn't been running right ever since. I replaced the radiator that evening, but for some reason I'm only getting about 70, 80 percent torque when I lift, but its only from certain positions. I've taken the thing to two different shops at this point, and they both said that everything looked fine. I’m at the end of my rope here ladies, can you help me?

Lilly: Sleuthing hats on!

The Bear: Well sir, I think I know what your problem is. You set yourself on fire, and then someone pissed on you.

Lilly: Yeah! Just tell the boys at your local rig shop, they'll know what to do.

[The hosts pause for a moment, deliberating]

The Bear: Well damn Togen, you've given us two mysteries for the price of one.

Lilly: First, we gotta figure out why your radiator exploded. Then, we gotta figure out why your lift capacity is damaged. Okay, replacing the radiator was the right call, did you have them look at the recycler? 

Togen: Yeah, when the first guy said it was fine, I took it to the second shop, and they said the recycler was probably running cold in the early morning air, you know, building up heat in the radiator. 

[lilly scoffs]

The Bear: That guy didn’t know what he was talking about. The recycler generates a ton of heat. While your rig is live, they’re actually floating in coolant because they generate so much heat. 

Lilly: Hmmm. Did you have any custom work on the Mastiff before it exploded?

Togen: Yeah. Lets see…I had the 8-cell replaced with a 10-cell, added a fluid circulator, and full weatherizing. Tubes, seals, soles, the works. 

The Bear: The weatherizing, synthetic or biosynthetic?

Togen: Biosynthetic ma’am. 

The Bear: Here’s what I think happened. Whoever shopped your rig under-tightened the bolts, and used overripe sealant. See, the biosynth sealant that Wylan uses is self-repairing, and it feeds on heat. I bet that when they replaced your power supply, they left a gap, so the sealant started growing into your radiator channel, sealed it up like a pressure cooker and BOOM. 

Lilly: Okay love, when you try squatting to pick something up in the rig, is there chugging from the leg hydraulics? Or is it more like the force just hits a wall at 70%?

Togen: There’s definitely chugging.

The Bear: Have you checked the tubing rings? You might’ve vented some heat onto them during the explosion, caused a hairline breach?

Lilly: Bearie dear I have a hunch. If he burned the rings he’d know. They’d pop right out as soon as he tried to squat. Follow me here.

The Bear: Uh oh.

Lilly: [starting to laugh] No! Listen! Okay you said you added a fluid circulator right?

Togen: Yes ma’am.

Lilly: Listen! Okay! Love! Here’s what I think happened! So urine has both salt and uric acid in it right? Both corrosive substances. I’d bet my bonnet that when you hit your kill switch, it took a moment or two for the circulator to spin down. There was probably already some urine in your radiator. That urine had enough time to get circulated into your hydraulics, where it’s been sitting, corroding your internal glide sheathes. 

The Bear: [laughing] Oh my lord that has to be it. Yes. Yes! That has to be it! Here’s what you’re gonna do, doll. You’re gonna take it to the local garage. You’re ask them for a total flush. Your biosynthetics should heal within a week. 

Lilly: And while you’re there, have them check the I-bolts on the new radiator chassis! 

The Bear: How’s that sound doll?

Togen: Well gosh ladies, I’m gonna be honest. The boys at the shop yard have a betting pool on just what was wrong with the rig, and I think all of us might owe the two of you some money. Thank you so much!

[The hosts laugh]

The Bear: Good luck doll!

Lilly: Thanks for your call! 

[The show transitions to commercial]

(If you want to read the full novel in this universe, Amber Skies is linked in my pinned post)

[writeriguess]

Can we get a cowboy AU! Pleaseee kiribakudekutodo x reader ? Readers new in town just moved and opened up a bakery and book store combined and they can’t help but fall in love at first sight because she’s such a sweet innocent curvy thing.

Sweet as Pie

The town of Red River Creek wasn’t used to newcomers, and it sure as hell wasn’t used to someone like you. When you arrived with nothing but a dream and a stubborn streak, you transformed the old, abandoned storefront at the end of Main Street into something magical: a bakery and bookstore in one. The scent of fresh bread and vanilla mingled with the aged pages of well-loved novels, creating an atmosphere so warm and inviting, folks swore they could feel it in their bones.

Your shop, The Honeybee, became an instant sensation. Folks trickled in out of curiosity at first, but it wasn’t long before you had a line out the door every morning. It wasn’t just your pastries—though they were divine—or your selection of books, but you. Sweet as sugar, softer than a cloud, and curvier than the winding river that ran through town, you quickly became the talk of Red River Creek.

And you caught the attention of four of the town’s most infamous cowboys.

Kirishima Eijiro was the first to walk through your door. The broad-shouldered, red-haired cowboy was the friendliest of the lot, flashing you a toothy grin so bright it nearly made you drop the tray of cinnamon rolls in your hands.

“Well, howdy, ma’am,” he greeted, voice rich as honey and just as sweet. “Heard we had a new baker in town, but no one told me she’d be an absolute angel.”

Your cheeks burned at the compliment, but you managed to stammer out a greeting. Kirishima spent nearly an hour in your shop that day, making easy conversation, sampling pastries, and buying a book he swore he’d read. He came back every morning after that, helping you carry in supplies, fixing things around the shop, and flashing that dangerous, wolfish grin that made your knees weak.

Midoriya Izuku, or ‘Deku’ as most folks called him, wandered in next. He was shyer than Kirishima, all nervous smiles and freckled cheeks dusted pink every time you so much as looked at him.

“I—uh, I love bookstores,” he admitted, running a hand through his unruly curls. “And bakeries. Your shop is—well, it’s amazing.”

You swore his green eyes sparkled when he said it, and your stomach did a little flip at the way he stammered around you. Midoriya spent his time pouring over books, often leaning against the counter while you worked, striking up hesitant conversations that grew longer and longer each day. He was a rambling mess around you, but Lord, if he wasn’t the sweetest thing.

Todoroki Shoto was different. He didn’t come in to flirt or chat. He came in for coffee and a book, often sitting in the corner, long legs stretched out under one of your small wooden tables. He was quiet, observant, and devastatingly handsome in a way that made your stomach tighten whenever he glanced up at you.

It wasn’t until the first autumn storm hit that you saw a softer side of him. The wind howled through town that night, rattling the windows of your little shop. Just as you were about to close, Todoroki appeared in the doorway, his duster coat soaked through.

“You shouldn’t be walking alone this late,” he said simply, his voice a steady rumble. “Let me see you home.”

You blinked up at him, your heart thudding painfully. He wasn’t asking.

And that night, as he walked you home beneath the silver glow of the moon, you realized there was something unreadable in his gaze—something dangerous.

And then there was Bakugo Katsuki.

He stormed into your shop like a dust storm, all scowls and gruff words, shoving a few coins onto the counter with a glare.

“Gimme one of those damn pastries,” he grumbled, crossing his arms.

You raised a brow but complied, handing him a fresh apple turnover. He took one bite, and his entire body froze. For a split second, he looked almost vulnerable. Then he scowled deeper, eyes burning like wildfire.

“This is too damn good,” he snapped. “I hate it.”

But he came back the next day. And the next. And the next.

And each time, he stayed just a little longer, his golden eyes lingering on you just a little more.

Somewhere between the smell of fresh bread, the dog-eared pages of a well-loved novel, and the stolen glances of four rugged cowboys, you realized something.

You weren’t just the new girl in town.

You were their girl.

And none of them planned to let you go.

[littlemissmiller]

𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑺𝒉𝒐𝒑𝒌𝒆𝒆𝒑𝒆𝒓’𝒔 𝑫𝒂𝒖𝒈𝒉𝒕𝒆𝒓

Pairing: dark! billy the kid x reader

Summary: when billy makes it to Lincoln country, he’s betting on the fact that no one knows who he is or what he’s done, but you do. at a poker game one night, he spots you and just has to escort you back…

Warning: 21+ (drinking and smoking), fluff, smut, choking, degradation( use of whore), dark! billy, dom! billy, rough sex, oral (m receiving), dirty talk

Word count: 2.4k

A/N: hi :) soooo this was inspired by last week’s episode where he says “looking for me…here i am” yeah that scene was so hot like 🥵 (i plan on watching the new episode tomorrow or tonight but i work 12 hr hospital shifts y’all so bare with me) anyways, i wrote this quick lil fic for y’all! it’s dark. it’s hot. like ghost pepper hot 🌶️ and…i have a billy request coming soon but i wanted to get this out since i got inspired soooo enjoy enjoy enjoy ♥︎

✥✥✥✥✥✥✥✥✥✥✥✥✥✥✥✥✥✥✥✥✥✥✥✥✥✥✥✥

It is a clean, quiet night in Lincoln County. Billy is just getting to know the place and is wary. Wary about who did and didn’t know of his past here, but at least he’s been given a chance to start over. At least he thinks. As he walks into the Saloon for a drink, he cautiously looks around. Nothing seems out of the ordinary. A few patrons sitting at the bar, a few poker games happening at various tables. The evening seems perfectly normal. Then something catches his eye. You. You’re at a back table, a fat stack of chips in front of you and a wide smirk on your face. Billy is all too intrigued. You look at him, biting your lip and batting your eyes. He notices your attention towards him and strides. forward.

“Howdy ma’am.” He tips his hat “Deal me in Sam.” He states, eyes focusing intently on your own.

You can’t help but gawk at him slightly. The faint dim of the lights shadow his handsome features, outlining his jaw, nose and lips. His ocean blue eyes practically melt you and you cross your legs to manage the throbbing heat.

“You look familiar” you speak up

“Is that a good thing or a bad thing” Billy asks

“I think it’s a good thing.” You smile deviantly

He smiles back, cocking his head and looking at his cards.

“So you’ve seen me around then?”

“In one way or another…”

As the round starts, you watch Billy closely, looking at his body language to speak to you. He looks at his cards again and shows no expression on his face. He places his bet and glances up at you. You look at your cards. A straight. You place your bet, matching Billy’s. You reveal your cards and then he shows you his. Three of a kind.

“Oh sorry baby…” you mock, taking his chips happily

The next round starts and this time Billy is able to win some of his chips back with a straight of his own. The game continues for a few more rounds until it comes down to you and Billy. You look at your cards. You’re one card away from a straight flush. The best hand you’ve had all night and you take your chances. You go all in. Billy looks at his card emotionless, matching your actions.

“What’s your game, cowboy?” You ask

“To win...” he quips back

You grin and show your cards. The small crowd around you lets out a few small gasps

“Well what ya got then?”

Billy keeps his eyes firmly on you as he reveals his own cards. The crowd gasps again. Royal flush. You gasp in awe, a look of disappointment spreading on your face. Your heart sinks and he slides your chips back towards him.

“Good game ma’am” he states, sticking out his hand.

You take it and he raises it to his lips, kissing your knuckles.

“Can I walk ya home?” He asks and you nod.

You follow him to his horse and he rides you back to your home. You rent a small apartment above the local post office and invite him upstairs. Once in your apartment, Billy takes off his hat, setting it on the table and taking a seat on your couch.

“I got whiskey Mr…”

“Bonney, my name is William Bonney.”

You smile and introduce yourself.

“Pleasure to make your acquaintance” you grin, getting out a couple of glasses and pouring you each a glass of whiskey.

“What brings you to Lincoln?” You ask

“Looking for a fresh start.” He remarks

“Oh yeah” you state, taking a seat next to him.

He takes a sip of his whiskey, eyeing you. He can’t help but let them trail down your body, fixated on your cleavage for a moment before finding your eyes once again.

“So what’s a beautiful thing such as yourself doing playing cards?”

“Who doesn’t like extra money…” you sip your drink

“Well what do you do for work?” He asks

“Right now, help out with my daddy’s storefront. What about you?”

“Nothing right now, but I’m looking to do some cattle ranching…”

“That can make good money.”

“It can, I still feel bad for taking yours…

“Don’t. You play fair. Don’t cheat.”

You take another drink, feeling warm as the brown liquid pours down your throat like fire.

“Yes, but I still feel bad taking from a lady like that.”

“Well why don’t you make it up to me then?”

He cups your face, leans in and places a chaste kiss on your lips. He starts slow, gentle, his mouth moving passionately. You set your drink down and clasp the back of his neck. You let his lips overtake your own, moving your mouth in sync with his. You’ve never been kissed like this before. You can taste his desires, the way he wants to utterly devour you, yet handle you with care, at first. He pulls back and looks at you.

“That work for ya?” He asks sweetly

“It might. But what else do you got for me Mr. Bonney?”

“You can call me Billy….” He inserts

“Billy” you repeat, whispering

“So tell me then doll? What else can I do to make it up? How do you like it?” He asks

You bite your lip at such a bold question, and scoot closer to him.

“I want you to take control of me Billy, take control, wrangle me like one of them bulls.”

A dark, lustful gaze clouds over his eyes and he smirks at the request, amused by your own brashness. He nods and wraps a hand around your waist standing you up.

“Where’s your bedroom doll?” He grits, brushing his thumb along your chin, still gripping you tightly.

“In here” you point to the room behind you and he pushes you back, capturing your mouth as he does. You move until you hit the back of your bed, legs giving out on the edge of the mattress. He pushes you down, stripping himself of his suspenders, and quickly undoing his shirt. He rips it off, tossing it to the ground, revealing his perfectly toned figure. Billy wastes no time getting your clothes off as well, pulling your dress down your shoulders, exposing your breasts.

“You sure you want me like how you asked darling, I may not be able to hold myself back once I start.”

“Please, take me…”

“Fuck” he breathes, stripping you even more from your dress.

He cups your breast harshly, groping, pinching, and squeezing at them. You mewl and whine under him. He leans down, wrapping his lips around your nipple, replacing his fingers with the sucking and pulling of his lips. You moan loudly, your cries filling the room and he aggressively ravishes your chest, going from one side to the other. You hold the back of his head, loving the feeling of how his soft, chocolate brown locks pass through your fingers. Billy has other plans.

He takes your hands from the back of his head, gripping your wrists tightly, and holding them above your head in one hand. He grunts and looks directly into your eyes.

“You want me to wrangle ya pretty girl? Hmm, is that what you want?”

You nod and he pushes his mouth back against your own, pressing on you sternly. He gives you harsh, quick, forceful pecks that leave you wanting more. Your lips try and stay on his but he keeps pulling away too fast for you to enjoy it. Just enough to leave you wanting more. The grip on your wrist becomes tighter, and you whine. The hand that is still manipulating your breasts moves to recapture your throat. You gasp and he gives you a squeeze.

“Keep your hands above your head.” He instructs, loosening his grip and moving his hand to cup your face.

He continues to choke you in one hand, the other caressing your chin.

“Open your mouth.” He commands, tapping your jaw and you obey.

He spits furiously into your mouth. You swallow. The pad of his thumb trails your bottom lip. He scoffs at you in amusement, his cocky grin showing just how much he likes doing this to you. And you like him being rough with you. He coos at you, sticking his fingers in your mouth. You suck and lick them and he shoves them further down your throat. You gag, prompting Billy to chuckle sinfully.

“Ya gonna gag on my length like that?“

You nod and he unbuckles his pants, hastily removing his fingers from your mouth to his belt buckle. You wiggle out of the rest of your dress, becoming completely bare for him. The dress falls off the bed and onto the floor. Then, he commands you to get on all fours and you do. He pulls his pants down, cock popping out in front of your face, as he gets onto his knees. You gawk up at him and take him in your hand. He’s so full and long, making your core throb thinking about it being inside you. You stroke him, and as you do, he tangles his finger through your hair, holding your face. He takes himself back in his hand, tapping the tip of his cock against your lips.

“Open that pretty little mouth of yours.”

You part your lips and look at him, doe eyed. You wrap your lips around the tip, and start to slowly bob your head, still jerking him off as you do. He tilts his head back momentarily then looks back at you. You sink your lips down further and further until the tip hits the back of your throat. You slowly pull back then move down again. You speed up and Billy shoves the back of your head and moves you on his dick. He groans, enjoying how perfectly your lips fit around him.

“Fuck that’s it.”

He rocks his hips and you gag.

“That’s it on gag on my cock doll.”

You pull back for a moment to breathe, but Billy shoves himself back in. He ruts into you a few more times before pulling out. You gasp and he grabs your chin, pulling you up to his face.

“Such a good little thing ain’t ya.”

“Still feel bad about taking my money now?”

“Nah…cause this is what you want right. You need a man to keep you on edge. You like it, I can tell…” he whispers , pressing his lips against the shell of your earlobe and kissing it. You nod and he grips your face tighter.

“Now, wanna show me that cute ass of yours darling.”

You nod again and turn around to crawl back onto all fours. You stick your butt out at him and he moans. He grabs your ass cheek in one hand, loving how the meaty fresh look in-between his fingers. He gives it a slap and you yelp slightly. Then, he slicks his length against your folds. You whine and mewl at the sensation until he shoves it into you, slowly sliding in until he bottoms out.

Greedy, he speeds ups, hips and balls slapping against your ass. He loves watching it bounce and jiggle. He loves to grope it, play with it. He continues his pace, his cock teasing your cervix over and over. He bends down, leaving a trail of fiery kisses down your back. Wanting more he pulls you back up with him. He holds you flush against his chest, fucking up into you.

“Tell me something. You knew who I was didn’t ya?” He snarls

“You’re William Antrim, I’ve seen your wanted posters before…”

You nod, gasping to breathe as his hand slithers up to choke you. Billy’s teeth grazed your earlobe and you barely registered his voice as he spoke to you.

“You know I’m a wanted man darling, wanted in several counties…” he breathes

You nod.

“And there are a lot of people looking for me, yet here I am. Fucking you like a common whore, just because she likes the taste of dangerous men.”

He snakes his arm around to play with your clit and you're nearly done for. You squirm and writhe against his body, and he continues to play with you. Torture and overwhelm your senses. He pushes you back down and starts to give you more forceful, precise thrusts with his cock. He deliberately bounces you against him, no longer needy and sloppy. He pounds you, rocking you and the bed. The sounds of your collective pleasure fill the room. He pulls out, guiding you from your stomach to your back. He wastes no time and resumes his actions. He splays his hand over your tummy, knowing that he’s about to spill his load out onto you. But not until you come for him. He pushes down on your pelvis, the pressure adding to your pleasure.

“Are you going to cum for me darling ?”

“Mhmm, I’m so close please…”

He moves his hand back down to your clit, swirling the little nub. Your face scrunches up and your mouth falls open. You’ve never had a man make you feel this good before. So euphoric, caught on a high you want to ride over and over again. Then you feel yourself fall fully into the pleasure of his hand and cock. Squeezing him tight, you let yourself go, the tight knot in your stomach blissfully unraveling. Soon, Billy is finishing too, letting his white, warm, cum splatter your stomach. He uses your body like a canvas and when he’s completely spent he moves off the bed, cock in hand. He searches for something to wipe you both off.

“The wash rag in that basin is just fine love.” You remark

He takes it, cleans himself, then crawls back on the bed and over you. He kisses you gently, then both your cheeks, and washes you off. After he tosses it to the ground and holds your face, giving you one last kiss. He starts to stand back up, finding the rag and cleaning himself up some more.

“Got any smokes dear?” You ask and he nods

He finds his pants and digs around for a pack and a match box. He finds both, walking them to you and taking one for himself. He lights yours, then his own.

“Thanks, you gonna stay?”

“If you want” he takes a seat “I’m still getting settled in so right now I’m renting a room. You said your father is a shopkeeper around here…”

“Yeah. You been by Tunstall’s yet?”

꧁✧✥✧꧂

[angel-gone-dark]

Hey I came over from April's posts lol. I read the "She's my collar" fic and loved it

Would/ Have you write a Kyle x reader x Cartman? They don't have to please each other in any way since ok you don't like kyman. But lmk I'm super curious lol. ❤️

Cartman x F!Reader x Kyle

CWs: praise AND degradation, minor throatfucking, creampie, cum swallowing, kenny is the world's #1 instigator

Boy howdy did I take this and run with it

SMUT UNDER CUT. MDNI.

I stood at the bus stop like usual, tired out of my mind. I’d been up all night studying for a stupid quiz, and notorious asshole Eric Cartman let me know just the toll it’d had on me. 

“You look shittier than usual.” I rolled my eyes as he kept going. “I mean, you always look fugly, but now you look like you were hit by a fucking bus.” 

“Gee, thanks, Cartman.” I scoffed. 

“I’m trying to help you. You’re never gonna get a man like that.” Before he could say anything else, Kyle butt in. 

“Quit bothering her, fatass, clearly she doesn’t wanna talk to you.” The ginger stood next to me, looking me over. His tone was gentle when he addressed me. “You okay? You don’t look like you feel very well.”

“Just not a lot of sleep, is all.” Cartman took this and ran with it.

 “Woah, up all night sucking dick then? I knew you were a whore.”

“Shut up, Cartman!” Kyle snapped. His two friends were smartly standing away from us, ignoring the commotion and smoking cigarettes. 

“What? Ohh, I get it, she was up sucking your dick Kyle!” I rolled my eyes. The two fought until the bus came, and even then, kept snapping at each other across the aisle. Today was gonna be a long day. 

By the time lunch rolled around I was so fucking sick of it. 

“Can you two shut up?!” I snapped, glaring at the two that had attached to either side of me. “I’m so sick of hearing you assholes fight over nothing all damn day! If you two are going to be like this, then get the fuck away from me.”

I stormed off. 

“Woah, going somewhere?” Kenny smirked as I ran into him. 

“Yeah, away from your stupid ass friends.” I pouted and he patted my shoulder. 

“Okay, talk to Dr. McCormick- what’s the sitch?”

“They keep fighting over my head.”

“Why, what’s so good about it?” He grinned and I smacked him.

“Be serious, Kenny.”

“Have you ever considered that maybe they’re fighting because they can’t decide who gets to spend time with you?”

“Are you high again?” I set him with a stern glare that had him raising his hands in mock defense.

“No, ma’am,” he crossed his heart to emphasize he was telling the truth. “I’m just saying, they’re glued to your hips and harboring a lot of tension right now. Just fuck about it.”

“Gross. Goodbye, Ken.” I shoved past him. 

My thoughts turned, though, because he had certainly just planted a seed that I wouldn’t be able to uproot.

I’d planned on staying in that night, but my friend Lola dragged me out of bed and got me done up for some stupid party. 

I was still pissy by the time we got there. People looked at me concerned as I slammed down a drink the second I got my hands on one. Lola scolded me and I rolled my eyes at her, but agreed to just sip the second one. 

It was boring as all hell until Cartman leaned against the wall next to me. 

“Hey. Sorry about earlier, I really didn’t realize just how… much we were being.” He seemed genuine, and I relaxed. 

“It’s okay, Cartman, you didn’t mean to be an ass- in that regard,” I giggled, sipping at my drink. “I feel like you and Kyle just get way too into it sometimes and you don’t think.”

“Hard to think when I’m looking at someone so pretty.” I blushed and looked down into my drink. 

“Really?”

“Well, yeah.” I don’t know what had gotten into him to be so suave, or what had gotten into me to be so receptive. Alcohol, probably.

I looked up to the sound of footsteps approaching. 

“Hi, Kyle.” I smiled at him a little, eyebrows knitting together as I looked down at his hand. “…You broke your cup.”

“I am aware.” He seethed, eyes boring holes into Cartman. “Are you sure you wanna hang out with him?”

“You can’t police who I talk to just because you don't like him.” 

“Nobody likes him! I just-” 

I interrupted him, “Zip it. Both of you, follow me, now.”

“What-?”

“Zip. It.” I made my way upstairs and into the guest bedroom. They followed after a moment of hesitation, and I locked the door.

“Spill. Now. Why are you two fighting so aggressively around me?”

“No- no reason.” Kyle looked away from me and I could tell he was lying.

“Okay, y’know, if he’s too pussy to say something then I fucking will,” Eric started, making his way over to me and cupping my face in his hands. “You’re fuckin’ hot and we’ve been fighting over who gets you.”

I felt heat rising to my face and pooling in my panties. The realization that I was locked in a room with the two, music thumping so loud nobody would be able to hear anything, set in. Cartman backed me up until I hit the wall, Kyle looking over with wide eyes.

“...Both of you can have me.” I said, swallowing hard as I squeezed my thighs together.

“Oh, I just knew you were a whore.” The brunette ridiculed me, slamming his rough lips onto mine. 

He practically consumed me, tongue sliding teasingly over my teeth. When he parted from me, a string of saliva connected our lips. It drooped down between us, snapping when the tension was too much. Eric raised a brow at Kyle, as if taunting him. No words were said before I was sandwiched between the two, Cartman now behind me. As he ground himself into my backside and chewed up my shoulders, Kyle took his turn with my lips. He was a great kisser, bucking his hips up into me as he practically moaned into my mouth. The ginger nipped at my lower lip, and I whined. I felt both their cocks twitch at that.

“Fuck, you’re so wet, good girl.” Kyle mumbled into my neck as his fingers slid under my skirt and panties.

“Don’t praise her, she hasn’t done jack shit.” Cartman grunted, yanking off my shirt and bra. I winced when it sounded like a clasp fell off.

“Yes she has, Cartman, she’s taking it,” he moved his attention to me. “You’re so cute, you know that?” He trailed wet kisses down my collarbones and to my breasts, humming eagerly as he took one nipple into his mouth.

“Taking it isn’t doing anything at all, Kyle.” Eric protested, removing his own clothing as Kyle laid me down on the bed.

I was in heaven when the ginger boy tugged down my bottoms and ghosted his breath over my eager cunt. My breath hitched as he licked a long, wet stripe up my slit. The brunette watched with a smirk, stroking himself as Kyle worked me up with his tongue.

“Open up, bitch.” Cartman asserted, gripping my hair in his hand and shoving his cock between my lips. “Ohhh, fuck, yeah. I knew you had a good mouth on you, the sassy ones always fuckin’ do.”

My eyes rolled into the back of my head and I groaned, the noise coming out as a muffled gurgle thanks to the fat head of Cartman’s dick blocking my airway. Kyle kissed and left hickeys across my thighs as his fingers stretched me. I swore I saw stars as he curled them purposefully, hitting the soft spot inside of me that sent electric currents through my flesh. My throat tightened around the flesh that pounded the back of it, milking precum from the angry tip.

“Be more gentle with her, she’s being submissive.” Kyle scolded. Eric scoffed, ignoring him and using one large hand to twist one of my nipples.

The noises I made, even muffled, were driving Kyle crazy. I saw him strip in the corner of my eyes, and my thoughts were confirmed at the clink of his belt hitting the floor and the swipe of his cock against my entrance. I shuddered and trembled as he bottomed out inside of me. I’d never heard anything as sexy as the noise he made the first time he moved his hips. This was bliss.

Kyle rocked his hips slowly at first, but it was clear he couldn’t help himself as his rhythm sped. He drilled his cock into me, grabbing the back of my knees to fold me in half. I shook below them, pussy smeared with slick and mouth dribbling spit. I briefly felt guilty about someone else having to clean this mess, but the feeling of Kyle’s fingers coaxing my clit yanked me back to the moment. I felt hot, skin on fire as I was ruined. I gripped at the sheets, bucking my hips up to meet Kyle’s as he made me cum on his long fingers.

“God, the bitch can’t even wait to cum until her superiors have.” By the way his cock twitched in my mouth I could tell my shuddering was turning him on.

“Good… good girl,” he sounded as ruined as I thought I might if I tried to speak. “So fucking tight, good girl…”

As my walls pulsed around him, Eric pulled out of my mouth to stroke himself. 

“Mouth open. You’re gonna fucking swallow.” His laugh dissolved into a shuddering grunt as he came on my tongue. He swiped the tip on my lips and laughed, closing my jaw with the other hand. I swallowed, nearly choking after as I moaned.

“F-fuck, good girl, ‘m gonna cum. W-where do you want it?” It was clear that Kyle was nearly bursting trying to hold himself back.

“Inside, please, please?” I begged. Cartman laughed.

“Well, if she wasn’t a whore before she sure as hell is now.” His hands found my breasts again, assaulting them with squeezes and pinches alike.

Kyle slammed into me hard, hips jerking wildly as he filled me with his warm seed. I heaved under him, still folded, and he stole what remained of my breath with a long kiss.

“If this is what hanging out with Cartman means then I don’t think I mind it anymore.” He smiled.

word count: 1700

[trashiest-rat]

Ashes To Ashes. Dust To Dust

Howdy friends! This is my first real go around at writing in a very very long time! So please excuse any errors or inconsistencies! If you have any tips or criticism my DMs are open! The reader is a smaller female in my head because small/tall relationships go brr. Use of (Y/N)! Thank you and enjoy!

You hated being in Valentine. The people, the smells, the entire place was just something awful. Your only salvation from this god forsaken town was your traveling companion for the day, Arthur. Traveling and doing Pearson’s errands with him was always easy. Conversation could flow and stop with ease between you and him. So, well in fact you had to ask yourself if you were sweet on the cowpoke. Looking over at him you start shaking your head of any thoughts of the man. The last thing you needed was to get distracted. With a final shake you follow Arthur into the last stop of the day. The bounties board in the sheriff's office.

“Seriously?” you say to the big-bellied sheriff. “This is all you have to offer?” You gesture towards the bounties board with postings all less than $25.

“Yes, ma’am the only other bounties worth something are his and yours.” The sheriff gestures towards Arthur and you vaguely. “But I won’t say nothin because y’all are the only two keeping this godforsaken place safe.” “Plus, I ain’t doing all that paperwork for an outlaw and a pyro.”

You turn on your heel at the mere mention of your past and leave the building in a rush before Arthur can start asking questions. However, he is far bigger than you are and towers before you in two strides stopping your escape.

“You have a bounty on your head (Y/N)? I would’ve never guessed.” He drawls almost in disbelief. “No offense but you don’t look like the kind of girl to do much of anything let alone a crime.” “How much is it anyway?” He teases flipping the top of your hat up to see your face. “100? No $500?” He teases with a smile.

As you slowly look up at him meeting his blue eyes and smile you try to as nonchalantly as possible say your bounty amount.

“$6,000 last time I checked was the price on my head.”

Arthur’s smile falters as he looks you up in down in disbelief.

“No way in hell is your bounty higher than mine. Stop pulling my leg (Y/N).” He awkwardly chuckles.

Sighing you reach into your bag pulling out the bounty poster you pulled down of yourself less than a year ago. Looking away as you hand it to Arthur.

“No fucking way.” The cowboy whispers looking at you. You see a million questions run by as his thoughts turn to find the politest way to ask you for lack of a better term what the fuck.

Before he can even form a word to inquire about your bounty you put your hand up in a quieting gesture.

“Not here Arthur. Please. I can tell you as soon as we get out of town but not here.” You plead with the outlaw in both your words and expression.

“Fine, but you better tell me why in the hell a little girl has a bounty higher than mine” he says saddling up on his horse.

“I am not a little girl Arthur.” You snap.  Catching your tone you soften up. “I’m almost as old as you are.”

“Could’ve fooled me with how itty bitty you are!” He laughs on his high horse both physically and metaphorically. You see his attempt at breaking the tension in the air and appreciate it.

You can’t help but sigh and roll your eyes a smile tugging at your lips as you saddle up your horse, Hermes.

As you head back to camp you can’t help but feel nervous as to how telling your story might change everything. But until you are at camp you just enjoy the feeling of the wind in your hair like you did all those years ago when you fled the pile of ash that was once your home.

Taglist: @slothsluv

[winchesterwild78]

The Ranch

Master List

Characters: Jensen-cowboy, single dad, x Reader-city girl moved to country to get away from it all

Warnings: language, angst, mention of death.

A/N: A short little story featuring our favorite green eyed cowboy, not an actor in this, lives on a ranch in Texas, is a widower with 3 kids. Reader is a city girl who moves to the country to get away from her ex and start a new life. She takes a job on the ranch and things develop between her and the cowboy. Internal dialogue in italics.

So much love and thanks to @cheynovak for the idea. ♥️ All work is my own. No disrespect to anyone, this is a work of fiction. Real names are used, but again this is a work of fiction. Sorry the 1st part is so long, just setting up the story.  Do not take my work

Minors DNI 18+

“I already told you, we are through. I can’t keep doing this with you. I feel like I’m banging my head against the ceiling and anytime I talk to you about it, you tell me I’m overreacting or you ask me some bullshit like is it that time of the month. Who the fuck does that? I’m done, Alex.” 

“Please, Y/N, don’t throw away 4 years over a little disagreement.” You scoffed, “A little disagreement?! Is that what you call it? No, fuck that. All I did was bring up marriage and you acted like I asked you to rob a bank or something. We’ve been together 4 years, we live together, was it really too much to ask when we might get married? I want to get married, have children. All the things you said you wanted too. I guess you lied just to get me to move in with you.” 

You stormed into your bedroom, grabbed a suitcase and started packing. Grabbing clothes, toiletries and other important things and throwing them in the suitcase. You were beyond pissed. Alex walked in the bedroom, “Come on, you’re not really leaving. You’re just pissed and throwing a tantrum.” “Fuck you, Alex!”

Pushing past him you went into the living room and grabbed family pictures and stuffed them into your bag. You took the apartment key off your key ring and placed it on the counter. “I told you, I’m done.” You grabbed your stuff and walked out, closing the door behind you. 

Loading up your car you just drove. You had no idea where you were going, but you needed to get away. After hours on the road, you pulled into a little diner that had a hotel near it. It wasn’t the biggest, fanciest hotel, but you were exhausted. 

Climbing out of the car you went to the office of the hotel. Ringing the bell a sweet older lady came out and greeted you with a smile. “Howdy, young lady. Do you need a room?” “Yes, ma’am. If you have any available.” “Yes, darlin’ I have a few left. Is it just you?” “Yes, ma’am, it’s just me.” She had you fill out the guestbook and handed you the key. “Why don’t you head next door and grab a bite to eat. You looked starved.” She smiled sweetly at you. You nodded, thanked her and left.

You grabbed your bag and headed to your room. Unlocking the door you noticed it was a typical hotel room, but it was clean and looked well taken care of. You put your bag down and laid on the bed. It was so comfortable, you could just fall asleep right then. 

Your stomach grumbled, so you decided to check out the diner. Grabbing your purse and jacket, you stepped outside and walked towards the diner. When you entered, a bell above the door rang and you were greeted by the waitress, “Howdy, just sit anywhere you’d like.” You nodded and took a seat in the booth near the back. 

The waitress who greeted you walked over and smiled, “Hey hon, what can I get you to drink?” She asked as she handed you the menu. “I’ll have water with lemon, please.” “Sure thing, hon. Take your time and I’ll be back.” You looked over the menu and because you were so hungry everything looked so good. You decided on a burger and fries, just keeping it simple. 

The waitress, Cindy, came back with your water, “Do you know what you want?” “Yes, ma’am, I’ll have a cheeseburger with fries please.” “Anything else?” “No, that’s it, thank you.” “Okay, coming right up.” She walked away and put in your order. 

Everyone here seems so nice. It’s a nice place too. Out in the country, far away from the city, and away from Alex. I wonder if anyone here is hiring. 

“Excuse me, Cindy?” Cindy walked over to you, “Yes, honey, do you need anything?” “Yeah, I’m new to the area, kinda relocating here. Do you know anyone that’s hiring or anyone that has a room to rent?” “Well, the only person I know of off the top of my head that’s hiring is Ackles’ Ranch. They have a live in ranch hand position they are trying to fill. Have you ever worked on a Ranch, honey?” “No, I haven’t, but I’m a fast learner.” 

“I tell you what, I’ll give Jensen a call and tell him to be expecting you tomorrow morning. Maybe he would be willing to give you a trial basis.” “Oh my goodness, thank you so much.” “You’re welcome sweetie, now eat up.” She set your food down in front of you. 

You ate your food, paid your bill and thanked her again. Cindy gave you the address and phone number for the Ranch and told you Jensen, Mr. Ackles was expecting you tomorrow morning. You took the information and thanked her again. Leaving the diner you went back to your room to shower and get ready for bed. 

Excitement coarse through your body. Surely you could handle working on a Ranch, right? After your shower, you climbed into bed and fell asleep quickly. Before too long your alarm was waking you up. Turning it off you got out of bed and started to get dressed. You pulled on jeans, a t-shirt, and your boots. Grabbing the Ranch information, your purse and your keys, you headed to your car. 

Your body tingled with anticipation as you drove towards the address. After about 30 minutes, your car pulled up to two large, wrought iron gates, one with a large “A” and the other with a large “R” on it. A small sign to the side said “Ackles Ranch”. You buzzed the call box and waited.

“Hello, can I help you?”, a voice came over the speaker. “Yes, hello, my name is Y/N, Cindy called Mr. Ackles and he’s expecting me.” “Okay, come on in.” The gates opened, and you drove up the long driveway. 

Finally arriving at the main house, you were taken back by how beautiful it was. You parked your car and stepped out. As you turned to look around the beautiful land, you saw a man riding up to you on a horse. The horse was breathtaking, chestnut colored coat, well taken care of, and the rider was just as breathtaking. He hopped off and the first thing you noticed was his piercing green eyes. 

The man walked over to you, his legs slightly bowed, but he was tall and broad shoulders. You bit your lip. His jeans hugged him in all the right places, and his shirt stretched across his chest like it was clinging on him for dear life. His biceps, large, peaked out the bottom of the sleeves. He had sandy brown hair, and a beard that was perfectly shaped. He was absolutely breathtaking. 

The man extended his hand, “Good mornin’, my name is Jensen, you must be Y/N. Miss Cindy told me you’d be coming.” You shook his hand, “Yes, hi, I’m Y/N. It’s nice to meet you, Jensen.” 

As soon as you shook his hand, 3 adorable children came bounding out of the house, “Daddy! You’re back!” He dropped to his knees and hugged the children. It melted your heart and made you smile. His son looked at you, “Daddy, who’s she?” Jensen looked up at you and introduced you to his children. “It’s so nice to meet you guys.” You smiled at them.

The kids went to play, as Jensen led you in the house to talk. During the conversation you learned he was a widower and he and his late wife had started the ranch when they got married. He has all sorts of animals, but the ones you would be in charge of the most were his children. You laughed when he said that. He smirked at you, thankful you had a sense of humor. “Now I’m gonna be honest with you, I need help around the ranch, but I also need help with the kids. Do you have any experience with either?” “Well, I grew up in the city, so I’m not too familiar with duties on a Ranch, but I did a lot of babysitting. When my mom would go away on business I would be responsible for my younger siblings. They are 8 and 9 years younger than me. I would feed them, get them to school, wash clothes and clean the house, while mom was gone. I might not know much about animal care, but I’m a fast learner.” 

“Well, what about family, or a husband? Will they be okay with you living here with me and the kids? The position comes with a room too.” I haven’t lived at home for a few years, and I’m not married, no boyfriend either.” Jensen nodded, “well, Y/N, I’m willing to give you a shot, what do you think?” “I’d love to. I can’t promise I’ll be perfect, but I’m always willing to learn.” “That’s all I ask. Now, let me show you the Ranch and your room.” 

The two of you stood up and you followed him outside. He jumped in a truck and told you to hop in. He drove to the biggest barn first and showed you the horses, then he drove to the smaller barns and you saw the other animals. The land was huge. 

Jensen drove further back on the property to a huge lake. “This is our favorite spot. The kids love to swim here, but they know not to come near this without an adult.” “It’s beautiful, Jensen.” You smiled softly. 

A little while later, you and Jensen arrived back at the house. He introduced you to the small staff in the house, and formally introduced you to his kids. They were excited you were staying. He took you on a tour of the house and showed you the kitchen, dining room, the kids’ rooms, his room, and the last room he stopped at was your new room. 

He pushed the door open and stepped to the side, letting you walk in. You gasped softly. This room was practically bigger than your last apartment. “So you have your own private bathroom too. I hope this room is to your liking. If you find you need anything, let me know.” “Jensen, the room is perfect, you have an amazing home, thank you.” Jensen smiled softly and nodded, “I’ll let you get settled. Clif already brought your stuff up. Lunch will be ready in about half an hour. I hope you will join us.” You nodded, and he left. 

You explored the room. There was a large walk-in closet, a king sized bed in the center of the room, with tables on either side, a matching dresser and chest. On the opposite wall you noticed two large glass doors. You walked over, unlocked them and stepped out on the balcony. You noticed two chairs. The view was breathtaking. It overlooked the backyard, and you noticed the kids outside playing. Jensen’s son looked up seeing you, smiled and waved. You smiled and waved back. 

Stepping back into the room, you decided to unpack. Walking into the bathroom you looked around, not believing this was really your bathroom. It was just as beautiful as the bedroom. It featured a double vanity, a stand up shower with glass doors and a separate soaker tub. The floor was a beautiful tile that could be heated. You were in complete awe of this room. 

You had finished unpacking and as you sat down on the bed your phone rang. Looking at the screen you saw it was Alex. You sighed and answered. “Hello, Alex.” “Y/N, baby, I’m sorry. Please come home. We can get married, have babies. Whatever you want.” You let out a long sigh, “Alex, it doesn’t work that way. You don’t want to get married and have children. You made that clear. I’ve waited and never pushed. You knew when we got together that’s what I wanted. We talked about it, and you said that’s what you wanted too.” 

The line was silent, “Baby, I do want to get married and have kids. I just wanted to be selfish and keep you to myself for a while longer. I love you, Y/N. I don’t want to live without you.” Silent tears started falling from your eyes. You still loved Alex, he was the man you’d wanted to have children with, but he broke your heart. You took a breath, “I know you do Alex, but that’s still not enough. I need to go, I’m expected back at work. Good bye, Alex.” 

You hung up and sat on the bed and cried. A soft knock on the door pulled you back to reality. You wiped your face and stood up, walking over you opened the door, and Jensen was standing there. His face instantly fell when he noticed you’d been crying. “Y/N, are you okay?” “Yeah, sorry. I'm just dealing with some personal stuff. I promise it won’t affect my job.” He placed his hand on your upper arm, “Hey, it’s okay. We all have things we have to deal with. I’m here if you need to talk.” His hand on your arm sent goosebumps all over your body. You took a deep breath, “Thank you, Jensen. I appreciate it.” You offered him a soft smile. “Okay, I came up here to let you know lunch was ready if you were hungry.” “Yeah, that sounds perfect.”

You followed Jensen to the dining room and found his children already eating. He motioned for you to sit down, he pulled your chair out and you sat down. Jensen took the seat at the head of the table, opposite of you. Lunch was filled with excited chatter, the kids asking you questions, trying to get to know you, and you answered them as quickly as they were asked. 

Jensen spoke up, “Guys, let Y/N eat. You have plenty of time to get to know her. You three need to finish eating too. You have chores to finish.” Jensen’s son looked over at you, “Miss Y/N, do you have any kids?” Before you could answer Jensen spoke up, “Zep, what did I just say?” He looked at his father and hung his head. You softly touched Zep’s arm, “No, I don’t, but I’d like to have some one day.” You smiled at him and looked up at Jensen, who offered you a soft smile. 

After lunch was done, the kids cleared their plates and you walked into the kitchen. You weren’t sure if your duties included washing the dishes, but it was something you were used to, so you filled the sink with water. 

Jensen walked in the kitchen and saw you at the sink. He smiled to himself, and he felt his heart warm a little. “Hey, Y/N, you don’t have to wash those. I was about to do it.” You looked over at him, his piercing green eyes looking into your y/e/c eyes. Your breath hitched. “Well, how about I wash and you rinse.” You smiled at him, and he nodded. 

There was a slightly uncomfortable silence that filled the room. Jensen cleared his throat, “I appreciate you answering the kids’ questions. They can be relentless. If you ever get uncomfortable with their questions, just tell them to chill.” “They are fine Jensen, kids are naturally curious, and I’m fine with sharing my life with them.” He nodded and smiled. 

The two of you finished washing the dishes and he showed you where everything went. Once the kitchen was done, Jensen told you to feel free to explore and relax. 

Deciding to just explore the house you walked into the family room and noticed all the pictures on the walls. You saw pictures of Jensen and the kids, pictures of other people, whom you assumed to be the rest of the family, and then you saw pictures of a young, beautiful woman. Her smile was bright and her eyes sparkled. 

You realized this was Jensen’s wife. There were pictures of their wedding day, pictures of her holding the kids and family pictures of the 5 of them. You never asked Jensen what happened to his wife, you just knew she had died. 

You were too busy looking at the pictures to notice Jensen standing in the doorway watching you. “Her name was Danneel, we called her Dee.” Jensen said as you picked up a picture of his wife. You jumped a little, “She’s beautiful.” You smiled at him.

“Yeah, she was beautiful, inside and out. We miss her so much, especially Zep. He was a mama’s boy.” “I’m so sorry, Jensen. If you don’t mind me asking, what happened?” Jensen sighed and you could hear the shake in his breath. “It was just a terrible accident. She was climbing a ladder, trying to put something up in the horse barn, she slipped, fell and hit her head. I was gone into town to get supplies and by the time I got home and found her, she was gone. The twins were 4 and JJ was 7.” You touched Jensen’s arm, “I am so sorry, Jensen. That sounds awful.” A tear slipped out of his eye, and he quickly wiped it away. “Thank you, Y/N. It’s been a rough few years, but every day it gets a little easier. I know the pain will never go away, and some days it’s harder than others, but she gave me 3 amazing children and for that I’m grateful.” 

“They are great kids, and have an amazing father too.” You smiled at Jensen and sat on the couch. He took a seat beside you. The two of you sat and talked the rest of the afternoon, getting to know each other and you learned how he ended up on such a gorgeous ranch. “So, Y/N, what brings a city girl to the country, and if you don’t mind me asking, what made you so upset earlier?” 

You bit your lip and took a deep breath. Figuring you needed to be honest with him. “Well, my ex Alex and I had been together for 4 years. When we first started dating we both wanted the same thing in the future, marriage and children. The past year I’d brought up marriage and kids a few times and it would always end in a huge fight. I just got tired of waiting and being strung along. So I left. I was upset earlier because he called me, begging me to come back. He said we could get married and have kids. I told him no. It broke my heart. I love him, and saw myself married to him and having his children. Now, it’s over, but I promise it won’t affect my job or ability to take care of your children.” 

Jensen grabbed your hand, “I know it won’t. I’m sorry you went through that. For what it’s worth, he’s a fool.” Your eyes shot up to him and he smiled. A blush creeped across your face. No! Don’t you dare. He’s your boss, a widower, and has responsibilities. He’s just being polite and you just went through a breakup. “Thank you, Jensen.” 

The rest of the day was uneventful. You played with the kids, and noticed Zep was glued to your side. He was such a sweet boy, and he looked just like Jensen. His sisters were just as sweet, JJ was excited to show you their favorite things to do outside, and Arrow was very reserved when it came to you. She definitely had some walls up. Not that you could blame her. 

Later that night after the kids were tucked into bed, Jensen invited you out to the back deck to sit around the fire pit. Before you went outside, you grabbed a throw blanket and your water. As you opened the sliding glass door you noticed Jensen sitting with a glass of whiskey in his hand. The fire burning brightly and the flames casting dancing shadows on his face. 

You stepped out and he stood. “Glad you decided to join me.” He smiled as he sat down. “Thanks for inviting me.” You sat down in the chair beside him. You watched as he took a sip of the amber liquid. As he took the small glass up to his mouth, you saw his lips part slightly, and the amber liquid ran into his mouth. You saw him swallow, and his Adam's apple bobbed as the liquid ran down his throat. As he pulled the glass away, you saw his tongue lick his lips slightly. He looked over at you and you quickly looked away. 

He smirked as a blush creeped across your face. Jensen grabbed another glass and poured you some, “here, to help take the edge off.” You nodded and took the glass. Jensen lifted his glass to you, “To new beginnings.” He clinked your glass. “To new beginnings.”, you said back to him. You took a sip of the amber liquid and felt the burn down your throat. 

*Jensen’s POV*

I can’t believe she accepted the invitation to join me out here tonight. She’s been so great with the kids today, and with me. I really think this is going to work out. She’s definitely guarded, but who can blame her. When she blushes it’s so adorable, especially when I catch her watching me. She’s a very beautiful woman too, and she is so sweet and kind. Damn, her lips on that glass, her tongue licking her lips. Wow! Oh, shit, Jensen, get it together. You’re her boss.

A few hours later, the fire was dying, and you were tired. “Well, Jensen, thank you for a wonderful evening, but I think I’m going to head to bed.” Jensen stood up, “Yeah, thank you for the company. It was nice to have an adult to talk to. Sleep well, Y/N, and if you need anything I’m right down the hall.” You thanked him again and walked in the house. As you entered the kitchen, you turned and looked at him again. He was still standing and ran his fingers through his hair. You sighed and climbed the stairs. 

You went to your room, got ready for bed and crawled in the huge bed. Before too long you were drifting off to sleep. For the first time in a long time, you felt like you were exactly where you were supposed to be. 

Part 2

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[b4mpyre-k1zz3s]

Dating the Jackass Guys HC’s!

Steve-O X Fem!Reader, Johnny Knoxville X Fem!Reader, Ryan Dunn X Fem!Reader, Chris Pontius X Fem!Reader, Bam Margera X Fem!Reader

Warnings: Suggestive content, drug use, alcohol, injury, car sex, tending to wounds, make outs, kissing, sex on a beach, public sex, unsafe driving, posessiveness, unwanted flirting

An: I wanted to write some head cannons based off of what kinds of dates the Jackass guys would take their girlfriends on (and all the ways that could go wrong)! Bam’s part was inspired by these headcannons by @1800miserablethot I love his work please go check him out!! Thank you for reading and please keep sending requests!

Steve-O

Assuming you were his asshole landlord, your boyfriend didn’t seem too happy when he threw open the door, clad only in his boxers, “What?!”

See, even though Steve planned to go out with you a week ago, he still wasn’t up by the time you got at his place, leaving you to pound on his door for what felt like an eternity to try and get his lazy ass out of bed

“Oh shit…” Shocked awake, Steve’s face fell after you, very unamused, reminded him that yes, you did have a date today. “Yeah, yeah- come on in!”

You knew that this was par for the course for him when you started dating him. What you weren’t aware of, however, was the state his apartment was in-

So much filth covered every surface that you started mentally repeating, “Don’t touch anything, don’t touch anything…” to yourself like a mantra

Despite the way your skin itched, there was something endearing about watching your boyfriend crack open a beer at noon, which he quickly drained, before pulling on a pair of jeans he had lying around.

“So, where’re we heading?” Given the fact Steve didn’t own a car, your options were kind of limited

The two of you ended up heading to the park and grabbing some hot dogs from a cart before plopping down on the grass together.

Even if he wasn’t half broke, he was never one for grand dates, and you could admire how genuine that was

Instead of wowing you with fancy dinners and sports cars, he preferred his dates to be about having a nice time with his lady.

Something not many people would know about Steve is that animals love him.

Out of nowhere, your boyfriend was practically knocked off his feet by an overexcited golden retriever who jumped on him and covered his face in slobbery kisses

It was heartwarming really, the way he laughed and smiled in that sweet, boyish way while giving the dog some good skritches!

Ah, you always knew men being good with animals was a green flag…

When it’s owner ran over and apologized for her dog getting off the leash, he told her it was totally cool

“But if it isn’t a problem, you don’t happen to have a tennis ball on you, do you?”

She did- as did the many other dog owners, who were as impressed as you were at Steve’s impromptu juggling act he put on in the park

Okay, maybe he was trying to impress you a little. But showing off you clown skills isn’t the same as driving around in some hot shit Lamborghini, okay?

As the sun started going down, and Steve walked you to your car, he asked if you’d be interested in coming up to his place, maybe smoke a little- who knows…

But thinking back to the piles of empty beer cans and the questionable stains on the carpet, you politely declined, “Uh…Maybe next time?”

You made another mental note to lay down some blankets down in your trunk before you saw him next.

Johnny

“Howdy, ma’am!” Standing at your door to pick you up for your date to the rodeo was Knoxville, who tipped his cowboy hat at you while you giggled at his little country getup,

What with the boots and those tights jeans that made his ass looks great- not to mention that obnoxious pink shirt that let you know it was your boyfriend under all that

“Are you really wearing that?”

“Well, yes i am,” Taking your hand, he drawled in an exaggerated accent as he led you to the car before opening the door for you, “and I do think we should be gettin’ a move on…”

You had no clue there were even rodeos in LA before Johnny took you there, but there you were, sitting with these great seats

And there’s nothing more your boyfriend loved than seeing that look of wonder on your face as you ogled at the real deal bull riders, not like the kinda stuff he does on Jackass. Which, speaking of…

“Excuse me, ma’am- I gotta go hit the little boy’s room.”

However, Knoxville was not squeezing past your knees to go to the little boy’s room.

Unbeknownst to you, he actually was a friend of the man who owned the stadium and had a little surprise planned for you

Not five minutes later, after they corralled the bull to set up for the next rider, guess who you see walk out into the ring? That fucking pink shirt…

“Johnny- Johnny! Don’t-“ and there he went, ploughed clean over much to the joy of the crowd and your anguish

Not assured at all by the thumbs up he gave you as he staggered to his feet, you couldn’t help but wince a little when you saw your boyfriend limp back to his seat.

“Are you sure you’re alright?” With a crooked grin, Knoxville waved a dismissive hand at you, “Yeah, I’ll be fine- just a little bruised…” Still, he didn’t dissuade your worries,

Turns out he was more than just a little bruised, as you would find out when things started getting a little hot and heavy on the drive back and Johnny had to pull over to a dark, secluded area just off the beaten path

Moving to straddle his lap, you felt him groan against your lips as you reached down to undo his belt, “mmm…ow- fuck!”

So, glancing down at the swollen, purple mess of bruise tissue on his legs, you decided to take a rain check.

Instead of ending the night getting laid in your boyfriend’s ‘69 Challenger, you spent the night at his place, holding ice to his sore thighs while he cracked jokes to make you laugh despite the situation.

If that ain’t love, then you don’t know what love is…

Ryan

When Ryan told you that over the phone that, “If you want, you could just come hang out at Castle Bam.” you thought that would mean swimming in the backyard pool and going out for dinner at Antonio’s,

But he meant it very literally, because there you were, sitting next to your boyfriend on the couch, watching TV.

I mean, you were happy to be hanging out with him, but is this his idea of a date?

“Is this all we’re going to do?” “Yeah.”

It was Dunn’s greatest power and his worst fault- he was horribly, aggressively chill

There you sat for hours, so comfortable with each other that you didn’t feel the need to make small talk, watching The Simple Life, or Nick and Jessica, or whatever dreck MTV away airing that afternoon

Later, Ry went to the kitchen to grab a few more beers, which certainly were aiding in his aforementioned chillness, when you called out to him,

“You know, I really had this image in my mind- maybe you’d take me out for food or some drinks tonight? Maybe a little courtship here?”

Plopping down next to you, Dunn passed you a bag of chips he got for you from the kitchen before handing you one of the two bottles from the side table with a faux bow, “Milady?”

Smirking, you took it from him, because you could never be mad at him for too long

But as the afternoon wore on, with the rest of the guys out filming something, your boyfriend eventually passed out drunk on the couch

“Yeah, this is how I wanna spend my Saturday…” Grumbling to yourself, you snatched the remote and absentmindedly flicked through channels for a while before you got bored

So, wriggling in next to your boyfriend’s warm, unconscious body, you laid your head against Ryan’s chest and listened to his heartbeat as you drifted off to sleep.

God, if there was a better way to wake up than to him gently playing with your hair and looking down at you with that sweet, lovesick look in his eyes, you didn’t wanna know

Mind you, he was still drunk given the fact he was only out for a couple hours,

And whenever you were within arm’s reach, Dunn got sappy drunk,

“You’re still here?”

Of course you were still there, but once he got like this, it was to your benefit to let him get it out of his system.

Tilting your chin up, Ryan planted a sweet kiss to your forehead, murmuring, “God- I am so lucky to have a girlfriend like you…”

Chris

When you broke it to Pontius that you had no clue how to surf, he dedicated a chunk of your beach date to teaching you, “It’s pretty simple- you’ll pick up on it in no time!”

Well, that’s not all he told you- he also said you looked hot in your bikini, but that’s not as important

“It’s easier if you practice this kinda stuff on land…” Your boyfriend dragged his board to lay down on the sand, waving you over, “Hop on!”

And, very close behind you, Chris stood guiding you on how to shift you weight and when to stand up with his hands on whatever part of your body made it easiest to explain to you

You’re not going to lie- you did pull the, “Is this how you do it?” card a few times more than was needed just for an excuse to feel his wide palms on your body for a little while longer.

But time came for you to actually do the thing he was teaching you, you totally wiped out!

(To nobody’s surprise)

Still, Pontius was the painfully kind guy you fell in love with, swimming out to wherever you fell and scooping you up Baywatch style before encouraging you to give it another shot

“You know,” glancing at him up and down- looking all suave and perfect with way the salt water glistened on his tan skin and curled his hair, “I think I’d rather watch you…”

What kind of guy would say no when their girl asks to watch them while they do something they’re awesome at?

With your ass in the sand, you spent hours oggling Chris from afar and cheering him on

Until the sun began sinking beyond the horizon and you decided to hit up the bar for drinks and something to eat.

Later that evening, once most of the tourists have cleared off of the beaches of LA, the two of you snuck back

“This place is beautiful at night- you gotta check it out Y/N!”

Visiting the beach to see it turned into building a bonfire, and there’s something so rugged and masculine about watching your boyfriend lug 50lb pieces of driftwood without breaking a sweat.

And with that visual in your mind, there’s only a few places the evening can go…

First with the arm around your shoulder holding you close, because it gets cold there at night, then a little kissing because hell, kissing always feels nice,

Which then proceeded to straight up beach sex. The fantasy kind of beach sex, where sand doesn’t get anywhere and there no seagulls or wayward cops patrolling the shore.

That night, still naked, you fell asleep in eachother’s arms by the smoldering remains of your fire, enjoying the warmth you shared.

Bam

“So I was thinking maybe we could ride four wheelers, chill out and play some pool, go for a drive in the Lambo, hit up the bar tonight- anything else you wanna do?”

The house was empty for one day, and your boyfriend just wanted to do the same shit he does with his dumb little buddies every other time they’re over?

Most of the time, your dates were more about him having fun than treating you to some sweet, romantic shit, but you had to admit that a part of you kind of contributed to the chaos

Once you got bored with jumping cars and doing tricks on the ATVs and headed inside, guess who came knocking on the door?

Dico, who your boyfriend totally forgot he made plans to work on the film edit with

But Bam had no qualms about shutting the door in his face,

“Yeah, yeah- I’m workin’ on it!”

Listening for him to walk away, your boyfriend turned to you with a smirk, “So, how’s that ride sound?”

The thing about living in the backwoods of Pennsylvania is that you can drive pretty much as fast and as recklessly as you want, and there’s no cops around to give you a ticket

Bam knew this and used it to his every advantage. He paid for the whole speedometer, why the hell shouldn’t he use it?

Especially when he had his girl in the car, who looked so cute when he made her nervous…

You ended up at Rex’s, and you were practically hyperventilating by the time you stumbled out of the Lambo,

“I could really use a beer right now…”

And as soon as you walked through door, there goes Mr. Friendly, paling arround with everyone in the bar and leaving you to drink alone. What a man…

But if there was something you loved about Bam, it was that he shows up when it counts,

Like when he caught that creep hitting on you out of the corner of his eye.

Never have you seen your boyfriend whip around so fast, planting his fist in the asshole’s jaw hard enough to throw him against the bar top

Wrapping a possessive arm around your waist and tugging you close, he spat at the guy, “Yeah- flirt with my girl again, fucker…”

You got back to the castle late, everything serene and dark as you laid snuggled up in Bam’s tousled sheets,

Which very quickly evolved into lazily making out, all slow and soft and romantic

(Because your boyfriend didn’t jump to screwing at every chance you got- credit to his immaturity)

And that’s how you fell asleep, with him nuzzling his face into your hair and nodding off

[hitmewithsomebooks]

@jegulus-microfic Feb 11 - map

527 words

Cowboy James 🤠

First part Previous part

~

“Wanna kiss ev’ry inch of you, gonna map out your skin with my lips, ‘m gonna have you committed to memory, baby, I—”

“Regulus Black where the fuck is my lipstick??” James’s sappy rambling was cut off by a rather loud Dorcas, who proceeded to slam the door open.

“Because I know you took it you little— oh… hello.” Dorcas cut herself off this time, as she took in a very naked James next to a similarly naked Regulus. Luckily, the sheet was covering their bottom halves, though in James’s case it was only just.

“Howdy.” James replied with a grin, grabbing his hat off the nightstand and tipping it.

“Are who are you?” Dorcas asked, now smirking at a rather proud Regulus. I mean, who would be embarrassed to have that in their bed?

“I’m James, lovely t’ meet you.” James answered, and made to get out from under the covers to shake her hand.

“Ah, no!” The very lesbian Dorcas stopped him abruptly. “You do not need to get up, thank you very much. You can shake my hand later… after you’ve washed yours.” She added, sending a pointed look at the both of them. James chuckled.

“Alright then. An’ might ah ask who you ‘re?”

“I’m Dorcas. Regulus’s best friend and roommate.” She replied, arms crossed firmly over her chest.

“You didn’ tell me y’ had a roommate.” James murmured, and Regulus scoffed.

“I most certainly did, and there’s two of them. You didn’t hear because you were too busy…” Regulus trailed off with a wary look at Dorcas, who rolled her eyes.

“You two can discuss that later. James, I have only one thing to tell you,” she stated, and James directed his full attention to her. “Treat him right, because his group of friends —myself included— are both not afraid of and good at hiding a body.” Dorcas said firmly, staring the cowboy down.

“Yes ma’am.” He replied, casting a wide-eyed glance at Regulus, who giggled.

“And Reggie, I’m proud of you, love.” Dorcas added with a smirk and a wink, before stepping out, closing the door behind her.

“Well that was… in’erestin’.” James commented, turning on his side to face Regulus again. The younger man chuckled, reaching up and playing with one of the cowboy’s curls.

“Indeed. That’s Dorcas, for you. And she’s the most sane one, aside from Pandora. I’m just glad she didn’t come in about 10 minutes sooner.” Regulus murmured, and James bit his lip, his eyes darkening.

“Or ‘bout a minute later.” He rumbled, pulling Regulus close again.

“James!” He scolded, but it was a laugh. “She’s just in the kitchen! Haven’t you had enough this morning, anyways?” James scoffed.

“Can nev’r get enough o’ you, sweetheart.” He growled, pulling the sheet off. Regulus rolled his eyes, but he had to force himself to hide his smile.

“Fucking insatiable, I swear, you’re a… you’re…” Regulus’s own hitched breath cut him off as James hummed and began trailing his lips downward. James had said cowboys always kept their promises, and he intended to show it.

And, Regulus had stolen Dorcas’ lipstick. Later, he would show James why.

~

Next part

[fandomnerd9602]

So this has been a thought of mine since the first frozen movie came out, can we get a male ghost rider reader x Elsa story, and it should be like Carter Slade era Rider

Y/N wanders up to Elsa in the icy mountains…

Y/N: howdy ma’am

Elsa: y-you’re on fire

Y/N: I figured you wouldn’t want to get cold

Elsa: the cold never bothered me before. But I could use the company

Y/N tips their hat in respect and agreement…

Y/N’s skeleton horse whines…