#howard lovecraft and the undersea kingdom

[stardusteyes]

Me: Yeah I don’t think I’m ever going to watch the Howard Lovecraft and the Kingdoms trilogy lol.

Kingdoms Trilogy: We got young Lovecraft becoming friends with Cthulhu, who he calls Spot because he has trouble pronouncing his name.

Me: GOD FUCKING DAMNIT!

[dtau-live-from-hat-manor]

Happy Thanksgiving from Hat Manor!

(And happy harvest / happy holidays to all who don't celebrate/celebrate differently. Your reasons are understood and valid. <3 )

---

Art by @werifesteria-art

Lorelai ( @lorelaihat ), Mr. Crawlin' Chaos (In his current incarnation), Ophelia, Zaogu ( @zaogu-princeofcrime ), Raziel, and Lanulos Larry are all designed and owned by @werifesteria-art. All others are owned by Alan Ituriel.

Scene set in the AU @dark-toons

[moviechef69]

Howard Lovecraft And The Undersea Kingdom

This is just like the last movie boring and made for kids only. Not worth your time unless you want to put it for a small child.

My Rating 2/5

[the0verboss]

Jeffrey Combs movies I’ve finished so far (updated 12/02/23)

Reanimator Trilogy (Solid Fucking Gold. Even Beyond which is bad is good. I will never grow weary of Herbert West)

Castle freak (I’m glad I got this one out of the way early it’s a hard watch)

From Beyond (Crawford Tillinghast deserves better)

Doctor Mordrid (<3 this is my go to Jeff movie when I need to put on something nice)

The Dunwhich Horror

Frightmare (he’s so gorgeous in this. And so young. And a good. The whole movie is goofy)

Frighteners (Milton steals the show, much like Combs usually does)

Cellar Dweller (this one barely counts, but I still love the movie. They kill the owner of Nickelodeon)

Cyclone (Rick Davenport is a bottom, The blonde is a bombshell)

Hammerhead- Shark Frenzy (I’m an authority on shark movies and the fact that Jeff has done one completes me)

Night of the Living Dead 3D: Re-Animation (a waste of two great Horror Actors, Andrew Divoff and Jeff Combs. It honestly just needed there to be more to the story that was worth engaging with. They’re both doing what they can with it)

The Evil Clergyman (beat my priest kink to death. Also Barbara’s impression of Jeff is sooooo gooood)

Attic Expeditions (weird movie, cute combs)

Suburban Gothic (cute cameo, but short)

The Phantom Empire (🤤)

Motivational Growth (which everyone should see it was great)

Parasomnia (I feel like I need to watch this one again)

Lurking fear (dr haggis deserved better)

Death falls (this is the ugliest he’s ever been and I’m including post pineal gland Crawford in this assessment)

American Bandits Frank and Jesse James (I would def take more combs westerns)

Dark House (an absolute joy. Ham it up)

Masters of Horror-The Black Cat (watch the commentary its worth it)

Deadman Walking (he’s the second most important character why can’t our boy get better billing)

Howard Lovecraft and the undersea kingdom( cute but dark)

Felony (how is this not farther up the list of Great Jeff Movies)

Feardotcom (a waste of a perfectly good Jeff. Could have had him as the leading man and the whole movie would have been better for it.)

Time Tracers (I collect shit shark movies. This is still the worst movie I have ever seen. But Jeff does what he can with it. Worth watching if just because it’s horrendous. If it had been directed by Fred Olen Ray it might have actually been fun)

Voodoo Moon (I can’t even begin to review this one- zombie Jeff with a gun- I really just need to finally watch Fortress)

Age of Stone and Sky: The Sorcerer Beast (he was an adorable old man. Would have liked to see more of him, the hippie look killed.)

FORTRESS (finally, I’m glad I saved it for a rainy D-Day, this is a pun. I will now wait forever for the “everyone lives fix it fic” where D-Day runs a Mexican coffee shop)

Trancers II (more Jeff than I expected. Liked the goatee.)

Holiday Hell (I sorta love Thaddeus Rosemont, expect some art)

Beethoven's Treasure Tail (an older Combs as an inept villain. cute. worth it.)

House on Haunted Hill (a masterpiece, enjoyable even with so little jeff)

Return to House on Haunted hill (more Jeff, the only thing that makes this worth it)

Faust : Love of the Damned (guys he’s supposed to look like Elvis. Wtf. Not enough combs to make up for how weird this movie is)

The Guyver (not a lot of combs but what is there is cute. Just over all a decent movie)

Urgency (Jeff does what he can with bad writing and likely substandard directing. Sumner is pitiable, and you sorta wanna hug him right up til the end. Then you want to punch him before you hug him)

All Souls Day : Dia de los muertos ( just a quick scene at the beginning, but not a terrible movie once he’s gone. I’m here for some zombies)

The Digital Prophet ( one of 4 in my top 5 worst combs movies. This one is worse than time tracers)

Satanic ( hes cute but barely in this despite top billing. Coulda replaced the doctor with him)

Elf Man (I love a goofy Combs and this one is goofy)

Pit and the Pendulum (finally another Stuart Gordon. I was concerned about this one but honestly I should have known not to be with who was making it. I’m still haunted by the tights, but it’s now a fav)

I Still Know What You Did Last Summer (omg the false teeth and the bad hair. He’s a minor character. Loved Brandy though.)

Dillinger and Capone (a surprising amount of Jeff and a different role than we usually see. It’s a good look)

Abdominable (only a bit of Jeff and he’s sorta goofy.)

Would You Rather (lots of Jeff, the kind of screen time I beg for, in a movie I could have done without. It’s a solid performance, even if I didn’t love the movie.)

Onyx Fortuitous and the Talisman of Souls (hilarious. Fabulous effects. Jeff plays a fun credible villian. I actually want a sequel. Oh and Barbara Crampton is also here which is a plus.)

Jeffrey Combs Tv I’ve finished

All of Star Trek

Twilight Zone- Placebo effect

She Spies

Gotham (so much potential just stifled, he’d have been great in several of the parts in this series)

CSI- Jackpot (super cute combs here. 10/10 presh)

Criminal Minds- the Black Queen (needed more but the syringe shot was a little hilarious)

Creepshow- Bad Wolf Down

Freddys Nightmares- S2Ep7 Love Stinks (A+ campy Jeff)

Perversions of Science Ep. 4 the Exile (guys the pay off is huge, 26 min. well spent)

The 4400 (could have used more Jeff as he was the most likable character in the whole bunch. Kinda like Enterprise I anticipate a 5th season would have had a better quantity.)

Babylon 5 S1Ep16 Eyes (Mr. Grey is very pretty, and soft)

Star Trek: Lower Decks S2 EP 7 Where Pleasant Fountains Lie (ALL HAIL AGIMUS. welcome home Jeff)(as Agimus is now a repeating character just assume I'm seeing him every time. What an arc lol)

Stan against Evil S2 EP4 Girls Night (I love a silly jeff in a silly role. Let the man play folks!)

Extras (audiobooks/ documentaries/ etc)

Hp Lovecrafts Herbert West: Reanimator audiobook (available on YouTube)

Star Trek Rat Pack closing performance for STLV 2019 (also available on youtube)

Doug Bradley’s Spinechillers- Vol. 11

In Search of Darkness 1 and 2

Nevermore Audio Book

What we left behind (which I actually saw in theatres, so good)

The Skin of Our Teeth (it’s a filmed play, could probably go in the tv section, quite enjoyable. Would be interesting to see him play George Antrobus now that he’s older)

Reanimator Novel (Jeff’s on the cover so I’m counting it)

GALAXYCON 2 min MEET AND GREET! (i died during this)

The United Monster Talent Agency (blink and youll miss him in this short

Star Trek Online Campaign- Victory is Life

STAR TREK LAS VEGAS RAT PACK PHOTO OP (I could barely make eye contact, but guys he touched me >///<)

Re-Animator: Reunion Edition (Charles Band yur gross. Barb yur a queen. Jeff yur adored and yur impressions are goofy.)

I should get a degree at this point. If anyone can suggest where to go after this to continue my fix, that would be greeeeeeeat.

[edgar-allan-possum]

All right, I'm about to watch the second Howard Lovecraft movie, Howard Lovecraft and the Undersea Kingdom, let's gooooo!

[thespritepepsi]

Why does Howard's father look like Steven Ogg tho?

[cultfaction]

Preview: Howard Lovecraft And The Undersea Kingdom (Blu-Ray)

For Howard, Things Are About To Get R’lyeh Crazy!

Young Howard Lovecraft may have defeated the evil King Abdul Alhazred in the Frozen Kingdom, but all is not safe, not yet. There are much darker forces at work and, this time, Howard must protect his father’s journals without the assistance of his most trusted ally, Spot. Instead, Howard must recruit his own father and seek the aid of the studious…

[otakunoculture]

Changes are in Store for Howard Lovecraft & The Undersea Kingdom

@arcanastudio @shoutfactory Howard Lovecraft casts @HamillHimself in new chr & the reason why

Comic book cover By Ed Sum (The Vintage Tempest) Revisions are in store in Arcana Studios next film, Howard Lovecraft and the Undersea Kingdom. The original comic book story had two companions helping the boy travel to this new world to rescue his family. With only his mother and aunts, life may seem easy. But after the events from Frozen Kingdom, he better look out! His father broke out of his…

[cupofsorrows]

3 LOVECRAFT 3 FURIOUS

Howard Lovecraft and the Undersea Kingdom, post 3 of ???

Part 1  Part 2

So we last left things, little Hit Points Lovecraft had just been sent through the Bifrost From Thor to parts unknown, whilst Not-Cthulhu-But-Maybe-Actually-Cthulhu has been trapped in a crystal ball by the eeevil Abdul Alhazred (although if it really is Cthulhu, trapping him seems like heroic behavior to me). What happens next?

I have to say, the movie did sort of seem like it was approaching watchability around that time. I’m going to attribute that to both the appearance of the first professional actors (as opposed to literally just the director’s wife and kids) and the fact that the actual storyline is starting to emerge. When I stopped before, I realized that I wasn’t as far into the film as I had been thinking - probably a result of how many times I kept stopping to make screencaps and stuff. With that in mind, I think I’m going to start watching longer stretches without pausing, then going back to get caps - hopefully that will move things along a bit. But enough stalling, let’s get right back into it!

HowardCraft has been sent to a library at what turns out to be Miskatonic University, where he’s about to meet another important character.

That’s him right there, and although it looks like he’s getting ready to crack Howard on the head, we don’t get so lucky. Oh, but do appreciate Howard’s um, proportions in this shot. Doesn’t he look like his whole body is made of paper?

So, here’s Doctor Henry Armitage.

voiced by MUTHAFUCKIN MARK HAMILL Y’ALL. Actually dial that back a bit, I don’t want to over-promise. Sorry.

...That’s not like being a “Friend of Dorothy”, is it?

“Is he, you know...an ‘Ally of Thu Thu Hmong’?”

Sorry, Harry Potter really has ruined that phrase for me forever.

Also, putting Howard next to even slightly-less-stylized character really highlights what a goblin he is, doesn’t it? I should really stop harping on his appearance because I could go on a tangent for the rest of the night, but what’s up with his eyes? Has that been eyeshadow this whole time? Wait...is he looking at me?? Oh, Shit!

Armitage explains us some things. Now we know Spot-huthu Hmong really IS Cthulhu after all, except he has to be awakened or something. Eh, as twists go I’ve seen worse ones.

“...But then his twin brother Stanley made off with them, and now I’m in a slump.”

This is what Abdul Al-heezy wants to do, for evil. Dr. Armitage wants to do it, but for good(?). No, neither of them have ever seen Gravity Falls.

Also, according to the Actual Official Mythos Lore, Alhazred is the one who first wrote the Necronomicon to begin with, so it’s weird that he needs it from them. Must have lost the rights to it somewhere along the way (I’ve heard publishers can be sneaky like that sometimes).

This is also where the transformation spell from earlier comes in, as Howard is slowly turning into a fish-person.

Yeah, it LOOKS like those are just weird bruises, but they’re totally scales. Trust me.

...Aaand now we’re back with team bad guy. I really only wanted to show this screencap to reiterate that I both hate and love this character design. He looks like an evil doom cultist, but from a cartoon on Nickelodeon circa 2001. That’s who this guy is.

Ah, OK, I was half wrong about this guy. He is none other than Nyarlahotep himself, but still voiced by Doug Bradley.

lol

But, the movie assures us, whatever the plan is it’s certainly dire, as illustrated by the absolute worst movie graphic you’ve ever fucking seen:

Fear not, though, for our heroes are now on their way to rescue...

Howard’s dad, who’s being guarded by...

Shoggoths, which look like this, apparently. Oh and fun fact: remember when I said Ron Perlman was in this movie? Well...

so far, though, all these things have said is “Tekeli-li”. So I guess they just paid this famous actor to say “tekeli-li” a bunch. Fuck, they could have just recorded him saying it once and then just played it back a bunch of times. Still, I can’t be mad at Ron Perlman. He got to mutter literal nonsense into a microphone for like five minutes max (seriously, how much time could it have taken? “Alright, Mr. Perlman, for this next take we want a little less ‘tekeli’ and a little more ‘li’, think you can do that?”) and presumably took home a paycheck afterwards. At worst that’s still a wash.

Decidedly unimpressed with the design, though. I guess the little eyes that seem to randomly appear and disappear across their foreheads are kind of neat but other than that they look like something that would chase Crash Bandicoot around.

Watch out evildoers, Howard has a poward power!

...which destroys these shoggoths, leaving a splatter-on-the-screen effect that I’m sure everyone in the animation department was very proud of (both of them)

They escape with Lovecraft Senior, and his notebook (which is notebook number 2, for those keeping track at home. Notebook number 1 Howard found in the previous movie, it’s the one in his bedroom right now)

DON’T. EVER. FORGET. how terrible this animation is. Don’t let yourself get used to it, either.

Alright, meanwhile, there’s some magic gate and the baddies are trying to get through it:

Kind of loving this guy actually, he’s been nothing but a dick to everybody in every scene so far

Aha, so they didn’t forget about Momcraft after all. Turns out she was being mind-controlled by Abdul because she’s also under a transformation spell and becoming a fish person.

Alright meanwhile AGAIN Armitage is teaching Hovercraft some magic, which he just got done saying was super hard to learn but seems pretty easy in actuality.

bro I dunno where you studied physics but

(also it’s kind of fun that you can sort of recognize Hamill’s voice at times - his voice is very versatile but there’ll be bits and pieces that sound familiar)

EXPERIENCE TRANQUILITY

Suddenly SHOGGOTHS!

They surround our hero...

...but fortunately he cleverly dives out of the way, causing them to crash into each other. Well, it’s good to know they’re vulnerable to Looney Tunes tactics.

Abruptly, Dr. Armitage decides that after one afternoon they’ve probably done all the training they need to and should be ready to take on a powerful evil sorcerer and his friend from beyond time.

Look out Abdul, here come a small child, a librarian, and a crazy person!

TO BE CONTINUED... (sorry, these end up taking a real long time to make)

...HERE

[lightingpiner]

Yugioh dark envoy

#YUGIOH DARK ENVOY MOVIE#

Howard Lovecraft and the Frozen Kingdom (2016), Howard Lovecraft and the Undersea Kingdom (2017), and Howard Lovecraft and the Kingdom of Madness (2018) are animated movies that are based on graphic novels inspired by the writings of Lovecraft.Based on the short story of the same name. The Whisperer in Darkness (2011), a black-and-white film designed to look like it was released in the 1930s.A comedy horror film, with an original story set amidst the Chulthu Mythos. The Last Lovecraft: Relic of Cthulhu (2009), directed by Henry Saine, and starring Kyle Davis.Cthulhu (2007), directed by Daniel Gildark, and starring Jason Cottle, Cara Buono, and Tori Spelling.The Call of Cthulhu (2005), a silent black-and-white featurette designed to look like it was released in the late 1920s, when the short story " The Call of Cthulhu" was published.

#YUGIOH DARK ENVOY MOVIE#

The third movie of the Re-Animator trilogy, loosely based on " Herbert West-Reanimator". Beyond Re-Animator (2003), directed by Brian Yuzna and starring Jeffrey Combs, Jason Barry, and Elsa Pataky.Dagon (2001), directed by Stuart Gordon and starring Ezra Godden, Francisco Rabal, and Raquel Meroño.It combines elements of the 1931 novella The Shadow over Innsmouth and the 1937 short story " The Thing on the Doorstep". Cthulhu (2000), a low-budget Australian production directed by Damian Heffernan.Castle Freak (1995), directed by Stuart Gordon and starring Jeffrey Combs and Barbara Crampton.Instead, it explores the insanity and the lines between reality and fantasy, much in the way that Lovecraft's 1936 novella At the Mountains of Madness does. In the Mouth of Madness (1994), directed by John Carpenter and starring Sam Neill, Julie Carmen, and Jürgen Prochnow, the film is set in the Cthulhu Mythos but is not derived from any Lovecraft work.Necronomicon (1993), an anthology of three stories based on " The Rats in the Walls", " Cool Air", and The Whisperer in Darkness, with a framing story featuring a fictionalized H.The film combines story elements from " The Unnameable" and " The Statement of Randolph Carter". The Unnamable II: The Statement of Randolph Carter (1992), directed by Jean-Paul Ouellette and starring Mark Kinsey Stephenson.An original story that combines the Cthulhu mythos with a film noir detective mystery. Cast a Deadly Spell (1991), directed by Martin Campbell and starring Fred Ward, Julianne Moore, David Warner, and Clancy Brown.Based on The Case of Charles Dexter Ward. The Resurrected (1991), directed by Dan O'Bannon and starring John Terry, Jane Sibbett, and Chris Sarandon.A sequel to Re-Animator, it is also based on " Herbert West-Reanimator". Bride of Re-Animator (1990), directed by Brian Yuzna and starring Jeffrey Combs, Bruce Abbott, Claude Earl Jones, David Gale, and Kathleen Kinmont.The Unnamable (1988), directed by Jean-Paul Ouellette and starring Mark Kinsey Stephenson.The Curse (1987), directed by David Keith, and starring Wil Wheaton.From Beyond (1986), directed by Stuart Gordon, and starring Jeffrey Combs, Barbara Crampton, and Ken Foree.An adaptation of " Herbert West-Reanimator". Re-Animator (1985), directed by Stuart Gordon, and starring Jeffrey Combs, Bruce Abbott, Barbara Crampton, and David Gale.The Dunwich Horror (1970), directed by Daniel Haller, and starring Sandra Dee, Dean Stockwell, and Ed Begley.Loosely based on " The Dreams in the Witch House. Curse of the Crimson Altar (1968), directed by Vernon Sewell, and starring Boris Karloff and Christopher Lee.An adaptation of " The Colour Out of Space". Die, Monster, Die! (1965), directed by Daniel Haller, and starring Boris Karloff and Nick Adams.Marketed as "Edgar Allan Poe's The Haunted Palace", the film is actually based on The Case of Charles Dexter Ward, and also includes elements taken from The Shadow over Innsmouth and " The Dunwich Horror". The Haunted Palace (1963), directed by Roger Corman, starring Vincent Price, and with Lon Chaney Jr.Films based on, or inspired by, the writings of H.

[makaientjluvdaprince]

I just watched Howard Lovecraft & the Undersea Kingdom (2017)

[subtitlesrt]

Howard Lovecraft & the Undersea Kingdom (2017) Subtitle Download

Howard Lovecraft & the Undersea Kingdom (2017) Subtitle Download

After conquering R’yleh and the Frozen Kingdom young Howard Lovecraft must now travel to the Undersea Kingdom in order to free his captured family, protect three mysterious magical books, and prevent the impending wrath of Cthulhu. Release date October 01, 2018 Language English Running time 1h 29min File type SRT (.srt file) Download English Subtitle How to Add Howard Lovecraft & the…

[wisnkrhead]

Howard Lovecraft and the Undersea Kingdom (Blu-ray Disc, 2017, 2-Disc Set)

$6.00

End Date: Dec-18 14:22

Buy It Now for only: US $6.00

Buy it now | Add to watch list

source https://www.ebay.com/itm/Howard-Lovecraft-and-the-Undersea-Kingdom-Blu-ray-Disc-2017-2-Disc-Set/154201734180?hash=item23e723bc24:g:IiEAAOSwPQFbKnKL

[smol-and-passionate]

I’m watching Howard Lovecraft and the Undersea Kingdom.

I’m going to have nightmares about these weird-looking people

[anniec1369]

First time watching horror (related) movie #342-Howard Lovecraft and the Undersea Kingdom #horrormoviesof2020 #365daysofhorror #howardlovescraft #underseakingdom #horrorandhibernate #dollartreefinds #horror #horrorchick #horrornerd #snarkmastergeneral #nerd #shenerd #fairygoremother #shenerdroom https://www.instagram.com/p/CE0UVLIFGDv/?igshid=aw0xepa27rfn

[cupofsorrows]

HOWARD LOVECRAFT 4: CRAFT HARD WITH A VENGEANCE

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

Time to continue this cursed journey, blighted not by eldritch forces but by sub-quality filmmaking. As you’ll recall (or not), LL Cool Craft and those other two dudes were on their way to beat themselves up a necromancer. Let’s see how well they’re doing:

PRETTY GOOD, IT DOESN’T SEEM.

Except wait, they actually do pretty well, because as we’ve already established knocking a shoggoth out through blunt force is both possible and fairly easy to do, and also because Dr. Armitage has the athleticism of a young Super Mario.

seen here bestowing an orb of discord on the enemy. yes i went back to the zenyatta joke.

Of course, they eventually get captured, and now it’s time for King Abby to reveal his evil plan...

“nah dude I already saw that movie, I know Thanos loses in the end.”

Suffice it to say that basically Abdul wants to “open the Gate of Dreams” because daily life has become soul-crushingly dull.

Like, I get it dude, I’ve worked retail too, but you don’t see me trying to destroy the universe. Anyways, the final journal is hidden behind a magic gateway that apparently only Howard can pass through:

All I can say is it’s a good thing this is an alternate re-imagining of Lovecraft’s life, and not the real version where he was heinously racist basically all the time.

Yes, Howard’s Dad, the animation’s terrible, but it’s looked like that all movie - I don’t understand why you’re just now reacting.

By now it’s time for the tables to turn yet again, through a series of actions I didn’t care enough to cap, and it looks like everyone’s about to escape...

BUT WAIT!

Nooooo Dr. Armitage! You were.......a character in this movie!

All four of them (they got Spot’s astral form in the crystal ball) escape through the portal, but Armitage is wounded in that special animation way where there’s no blood or even clothing damage but you have to hold your side and wince and you can’t walk for some reason. Is he going to make it?

Sorry, kid, but it looks like it’s his time to...return to the university? Um, OK. Oh, but first he can restore Spot to his bargain-bin aladdin-genie form.

Farewell, Doctor. This whole scene was very nearly pointless.

It’s all good, though, because the Three Amigos have a new destination!

This gives Paw Lovecraft plenty of time to ramble about how he came to write the journals (notice throughout how they can’t be arsed to give half of the things in this movie proper shadows but they do make sure to take the extra effort with the beads of sweat on his forehead):

Cool story bro, but I’m still a little unclear about NO NO WAIT I DIDN’T SAY FLASHBACK Aaah dammit, there he goes.

...

You could have given a thousand Lovecraft scholars an entire year to try to guess what might be in this movie and I don’t think a single one would have come up with “awkward Death Note homage”. My hat is off to you, movie. Bra-vo.

(i guess there’s a possibility it’s coincidental, but that’s even funnier because then that means two different people independently had the idea to animate somebody writing in a notebook but make it look as intense as possible, and they both came up with the exact same solution)

Now we’re finally introduced to Doctor West (voiced by Christopher Plummer), the mysterious colleague of Lovecraft Senior whom we’ve AAUUGH

my man I am so, so sorry.

...er, anyway, seems the two of them were working together when they made their big breakthrough. Here we see them as Lovecraft the Elder prepares to journey to either an alien planet or a particularly wild orgy.

...Adding “Stargate” to the list of things I wasn’t expecting this movie to rip off...

And now, at last, we learn why “Undersea Kingdom” was in this movie’s title.

I dunno, dude, it’s a kingdom and it’s undersea. Seems pretty straightforward to me.

Just then, however, Flashback Howard’s Dad is treated to a terrifying sight!

bigchungus.png

“Nice notebook, nerd! Yyyyyyoink!”

...And that’s the state of things now. That’s why DadCraft went nuts and that’s where the last journal is. He timed his flashback well, for they’ve just arrived at their destination:

Yeah, they probably shunned it because some crazy, Edgar Allan Poe-looking fucker was always up there running around and babbling in a nonsense language! I’d shun that place, too!

Underneath the hill is a secret base where Dad suits up to return to the Undersea Kingdom™ - Howard doesn’t need one, on account of the ‘turning into a fish’ thing.

see?

OK credit where credit is due, the actor playing this guy is really making an effort, and I actually sort of chuckled at this bit. His delivery is usually pretty goofy, but I think that’s the way to go here, and even if most of his lines are clunkers because, well, most of the script is clunky, there’s still an undeniable sort of heart behind it. Imdb says the actor’s name is Tyler Nicol, who doesn’t seem to have been in much, and probably can’t stand on the level of the big-name talents in this movie (though I def wouldn’t say they’re all at their best here), but I think he deserves some recognition for trying.

Tangent over, here comes the big fish dude again.

I think we can all guess what his name is...

...Munkus Q. Charliebears! ...Oh, yeah, or Dagon. That would’ve been my second guess.

But it’s OK, he’s on our side! In his minute or so of screen time Dagon manages to deliver probably the most useful exposition in the whole damn film, explaining that he took the journal to keep it safe and that he put up the magic gate that only plucky boy heroes can pass through, as well as laying out some background for Nyarlathotep and his motivation for being involved in this. It turns out that Nyarrblbarbagarbl wants to activate Cthulhu in accordance to the wishes of their mutual father, Azathoth. Now everybody’s hanging out in Dagon’s crib to get at the journal, so our pal Hovercraft had better get moving to get it before the bad guys do. This falls on him, because it was his dad who fucked everything up in the first place and now he’s too cuckoo to fix it himself.

You sure it’s that and not...you know. The racism?

Alright, so everybody up to speed? Everyone understand everything? No? Well too damn bad.

Disappointingly, “Y’ha” is not pronounced “Yeeha”.

(PRONUNCIATION GUIDE THUS FAR:

Tekeli-li - Tekah-leelee

Cthulhu - Kuh-too-loo (probably the way you’ve heard it elsewhere)

Shoggoth - Shuh-GOTH

Nyarlahotep - Nee-ar-LA-ho-tep

Innsmouth - The ‘mouth’ is pronounced that way (i.e. the orifice you eat with) instead of ‘muth’ which I had always assumed

R’lyeh - Ruh-LAY (this is the one I’m most calling bullshit on)

Howard - JEFF-ree

As the goodguys approach, the badguys sense their arrival:

“ ‘WhAt sHaLl i dO, blehhhhh I’m a Dumbass’ That’s what you sound like.”

LMAO YASSS DRAG HIS ASS

Then Howard et al show up on the scene, and it’s time for the Big Bad to make his debut.

OK I like this, I think it’s actually sort of eerie, but it’s too little too late at this point. Also, isn’t Azathoth supposed to be sort of mindless? Or have I gotten him confused with some other ineffable outer being?

I feel like I should say something about the sudden art shift, but I’m approaching the end of my patience and I just want this all to be over already.

Surprise, Mom is still a hostage! Her skin has definitely looked better, too.

LOOK OUT, WALLACE N. GROMIT IS OFF THE SHITS

You know what else he looks like to me? A cartoon mailman. Remove the mask and the hood, add the little mailman hat...do you see it?

Did I mention the trials? No? OK: there are trials.

The fate of the world before him, his family behind him, his meat enormous, Hocus Pocus Lovecraft can do nothing but move forward.

2 B CONTINUED

RIGHT NOW