#how will this straight man cope with the meanness and negativity of a lesbian not worshipping him | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

haro-whumps · 5 years ago

Text

Group Whumpees 7: Home

CW: transphobia, shitty family relationships, alcohol and binge eating as a coping mechanism, death ment., slavery, aftermath of abuse, multiple whumpees

Tag list: @bleeding-demon-teeth @theycomeinthrees @redwingedwhump @whimperwoods @inpainandsuffering @whole-and-apart-and-between @whump-whump-whump-it-up @whumpingupastorm @newandfiguringitout @lonesome--hunter @looptheloup @icannotweave @deluxewhump @whumping-every-day @yeet-me-out-a-window @what-a-whumpy-world @burtlederp @constellationwhump @swordkallya @finder-of-rings @fairybean101 @adventuresofacreesty @arlennil @thingsthatgo-whump-inthenight

Masterlist

Galo wasn’t entirely sure of what he expected to happen when his father showed up. He knew he was in deep shit--nobody just hung up on his dad, much less multiple times in a row. Screaming, probably. Ranting and raving, no doubt. So he guessed he was grateful, more or less, to whatever powers that were, that his dad showed up already drunk.

“Hey dad,” he said, forcing a tight lipped smile.

“Hey you piece of shit!” Galo’s father answered, loud and boisterous, but happy. He clapped Galo on the back and jabbed a finger into his chest. “I’ve been callin’ you!”

“Yes, dad, I know.”

“Aaaaahaha, oh shit are those devilled eggs?”

“Yup, go enjoy,” Galo said, gently pushing his father in the direction of the horderves table and mentally thanking Sasha for making so, so many. Yeah, Galo had requested a lot, on account of him knowing his audience, but thank you Sasha.

“Heeey, lil sibling,” Esther greeted, slinging her arm around Galo’s shoulders. Since his transition, she’d pretty much refused to refer to him in any kind of gendered terms and he’d yet to hear her use, like, pronouns for him. On one hand, yes, it was nice that she didn’t insist on calling Galo a girl. On the other, it had been over a decade.

“Afternoon, Esther,” Galo greeted, “You show up with dad?”

“Yeah, Jeremiah’s parking the car. We pregamed.”

“I noticed.”

“Hey guys!” Jeremiah called.

“Hey lil bro!”

Galo felt his eye twitch, very aware that Esther had no issue calling Jeremiah ‘lil bro’ when Galo was--

It was fine. It was fine. They had a 40 minute service, some time for people to leave flowers and mingle, and then Galo could leave.

“Thanks for doing all this, Galo,” Jeremiah said, and Galo smiled a little more genuinely when he clasped his hand, pulling him into a sorta-chest-bump-ish. The motion, if not the contact itself, was there.

“Yeah. Been a real pain in the ass,” Galo admitted. He did not… get along, necessarily, with Jeremiah. But while he disapproved of Jeremiah’s spoiled nature and entitled actions, Jeremiah’s personality was probably the friendliest of Galo’s family. Definitely used to getting his way, and getting it handed to him on a silver platter (their father treated his “only son” differently than the other two), but not like, a bad dude.

“Luckily, Aunt Jude agreed to do cleanup for me, since she couldn’t help with setup.” Aunt Jude was a fundamentally unlikable person, but she made a mean potato salad and was the most responsible member of their family, with the exception of Galo himself. The phrase “control freak” was not a particularly off-base descriptor for her, and Galo knew she’d be plucking at everything “wrong” with what Galo had done in setup in passive aggressive jabs if he let her rope him into a conversation.

Which he did not intend to do.

At all.

Fuck there she was.

“So how you been, Jeremiah?” Galo asked, leaving Esther to deal with Aunt Jude’s approach. He’d listen to Jeremiah describe every single attachable part, feature, and accessory of whatever new gun he’d bought between now and the last family reunion if it meant sticking Esther with Aunt Jude. He’d politely prompt Jeremiah to talk about golf and “owning the libs” on reddit and let him complain about his loudly eco-feminist lesbian coworker, if it meant not having to deal with Aunt Jude’s holier than thou party planning and getting deadnamed repeatedly.

Fortunately, Jeremiah was married to the sound of his own voice, so between Galo subtly herding him towards the alcohol and giving intermittent “Mhm”s, Galo kept him going until the funeral itself began.

Or would have, if Uncle Mike hadn’t started making a scene before the damn thing even started. Galo sighed and pressed his face gently to the wall, listening to the increase in volume as everyone got in on Mike’s riot act. It was a show, him playing the devil’s advocate or saying something provocative or “accidentally” roughhousing too hard. It was just him making sure he was the center of every fucking body’s attention. Galo needed to be sober enough to drive, two hours from now. Sober enough to have a halfway coherent conversation with his shitty fucking family, in about an hour and a half.

But for now, he could grab the bottle of vodka, cut it with some lemonade, and down the entire glass before refilling it with straight vodka. His tastebuds would hate him for it but ideally they’d not be online here in a few minutes. He knew he couldn’t keep drinking like he had been, the last week. If not for his liver, then at the very least for the continued efficiency of his T shots.

FUCK Aunt Jude was right there.

“Sorry, can’t talk right now,” Galo said in a rush, downing the vodka (ow) and making a beeline for whatever bullshit Uncle Mike was up to. “Gotta put out this fire, talk after the funeral,” he insisted as she opened her mouth again. Uncle Mike was a rude motherfucker, but just for the attention of it all. Aunt Jude was insufferable.

Galo got between Uncle Mike and his own father, easily solving the dispute now that Auntie Bethany wasn’t there to egg her brothers on. And, since Galo, official fun-sucker of the family, was now on the scene, the rest of the agitated crowd simmered down. A member of Auntie Bethany’s church approached him, and he forced a smile.

“Thank you, young man,” he said, and Galo’s smile went a little more genuine.

“Sure thing, dude,” Galo said, pushing his hair back from his face. “Galo. Nice to meet you.”

“The pleasure is mine. My condolences for your loss. Bethany was a generous and upright woman; our congregation will miss her sorely.”

Don’t talk shit about the dead, Galo reminded himself firmly, before he could remark on what an evil shrieking harpy she was. He thought on the five people he’d left in that massive house, frightened and hurting, and couldn’t reconcile them with the story this man was now telling him, on how Galo’s aunt had always been the first to visit a church member in the hospital or bake something for an expecting couple.

Auntie Bethany had always worried about appearances more than anyone else in the family, Galo figured. And he was the only person in the room who understood just how far her coverups went. He rubbed at the bandage on his arm, not wanting to stand there listening to a stranger list off how good and kind and giving Auntie Bethany had been, giving Galo sympathy he hadn’t asked for.

The funeral officially starting was a fucking mercy. He sat between his siblings, trying very hard to daydream himself away for the next 40 minutes. The pews were uncomfortably full. The entire church turned up, it seemed like, and the majority of her facebook friends.

He forced himself to space out for most of it, thinking very deliberately about which character he intended to romance on his next playthrough, and if playing a female character would be worth it to romance the lesbian who could, in all honesty, do anything she wanted and he would thank her for it. Pros: hot video game girlfriend. Cons: Galo did not care for playing a female character, when male was an option.

Unfortunately, after eulogies were given (more like soliloquized, everyone in this goddamn (ha) building was only interested in showing off how righteously they were reacting to Auntie Bethany’s passing) and the body was buried, there was a little luncheon and Aunt Jude finally started negging Galo about the funeral. Galo sat, body laced with tension, and forced himself to drink fluids that were not alcohol. Aunt Jude was family, he couldn’t just tell her to fuck off, especially since it’d just start a scene and there was more than one person in the building who would love to join in if Galo caused a scene.

He could really do without the continuous deadnaming though. It was like Aunt Jude was hosting an internal contest on how many times she could say the wrong name in a single paragraph. Even Auntie Bethany hadn’t gone out of her way like this.

He counted down until he felt like enough time had passed, and then called a meeting of all family members in an adjacent room.

“Ma’am, this is family only,” Galo said, halting a woman in a blue dress and pearls at the door.

“Oh, but Bethany and I were like sisters! She always said that, you know? How I was like a sister to her. We were so close.”

“That’s nice, ma’am, but I don’t know who you are, and this meeting is for the immediate family of the deceased.”

Her wrinkly, painted lips pursed, and Galo could feel the exhaustion of the pending conversation hit him before it even happened.

“Ma’am, we know you miss her, but why don’t you go speak with the others,” Aunt Jude butt in. “In this time of grieving, such a close friend to Bethany would be like a lantern in the night, guiding the others, since I’m sure you know how she would have wanted us to mourn her passing.”

Galo turned into the room, letting Aunt Jude handle it, trying as best he could to block out their holier-than-thou sympathetic tones as they discussed whatever the fucking shit they were spewing. Aunt Jude clipped up next to him in her loudly tapping high heels and said, “And that is how it is done.” And then she deadnamed him again! Great. Fan fucking tastic.

“So,” Galo said, getting everyone’s attention as quickly as he could because he was at his wits’ fucking end, “Auntie Bethany changed up her will right before her death, listing only the people who visited her in the hospital, which turned out to be only me.” He’d summarized as much in a family facebook chat, but it was good to get everyone on the same page, especially since most of them were drunk (and he wasn’t drunk enough).

“Before anyone protests or starts making remarks,” Galo said, a little louder, “let me finish. I figure that, since I am the only one who visited her, I’ll keep her physical properties, and we the family will split her bank account evenly across all of us. Sound good?” Galo hoped his tone discouraged anyone from saying that that did not, after all, sound good.

“And how much is that? Rich bitch never did say how much she had,” Galo’s father crowed drunkenly.

Galo made a show of counting heads. Ultimately, it wouldn’t matter. “Between the 17 of us, I’ll write everyone here a check for 2 million dollars.”

Everyone was very happy about that. Galo did not mention that, even after giving that much to his relatives (not that any one of them really and actually deserved that kind of money), he’d still have somewhere around 30 million to donate and spend how he liked. Auntie Bethany had been very wealthy. And these 2 million dollar red herrings would ensure none of them questioned after the slaves, who would absolutely not be going to any member of Galo’s family. He got out the checkbook and made his way around the room, reminding the drunk ones to make sure to cash these and not let them flutter off in the wind because Galo wouldn’t be able to write them another one (a lie, but one he’d stick by). And then, and then, it was finally socially acceptable for him to leave, citing being tired from getting up that early that morning and making a beeline for his car.

“Fuck,” he breathed as he sank into the sweet cloth seat. His body felt ridiculously heavy, but he wasn’t quite out of the frying pan just yet. He turned his car on and drove, drove as fast as the speed limit let him, tricking his stupid monkey hindbrain into feeling like he was running away and it was working. He drove directly and immediately home.

His apartment was no different than how he’d left it. He almost expected dust and roaches, he felt like he’d been gone a year, but really, it had only been a week. One whole week, straight out of hell.

His mattress was kinda lumpy, and had an indent in Galo’s shape from where he so frequently faceplanted into it. He faceplanted then, too. The bed wasn’t particularly comfortable, but it was familiar and it smelled like him. He groaned. He took a nap.

He felt better, after. He removed his jacket and tie, rolled up his sleeves, and splashed some water on his face. Then he decided to just ditch the shirt altogether. He’d taken all his sweatpants with him when he did the preliminary move into Auntie Bethany’s place, but he still had a pair of leggings he used to wear to the gym before they got a rip in the inner thigh and so he put those on. He downloaded grubhub specifically so he could order a shitload of burritos from taco bell, plus a mountain dew slushie abomination and more of those cinnabon ball things than he could actually, personally eat. It was time to put some garbage in his body.

Y’know, maybe he wouldn’t sell his bed. Almost all of his craigslist ads had been answered, and he intended to hand over the furniture tomorrow, while the movers were here, having set up appointments with the buyers. His bed was the only piece of furniture that he hadn’t gotten a response for. And he was, after all, ridiculously wealthy.

He pulled up his calculator app. If he wanted to keep rending this apartment indefinitely, let’s say, 20 years, it’d only cost, what, $200,000? That wouldn’t even make a dent in his inherited wealth. He didn’t have to break out of his lease early. He could keep this place, a secret little getaway only for himself, when his new life at the mansion overwhelmed him, or he needed to give those five the night off from his presence, or if he was hiding from his family, or god even knew what. He didn’t have to worry about the money. Literally, nothing monetary could ever touch him again.

And he could redecorate this place, too. Get a little retail therapy in, make it his personal project to work on here and there. That would be… nice. He couldn’t have any plants or living shit in here--it’d die--but maybe some fairy lights and a wall hanging.

He tipped his delivery driver with a $50 bill and didn’t even blink at its loss. He shoveled taco bell into his mouth and called the mansion’s house phone halfway through the meal, washing his mouth out with the toxic waste lookin’ slushie.

“Good evening?”

“Hey, Nyla, it’s Galo. Just letting you know I won’t be home tonight, so you all have permission to go to bed whenever you’re ready to, okay?”

“Yes Master, thank you sir.”

“Have a good night,” he said, and hung up. After dinner, he dicked around on his phone, wishing he’d left his game console here (it wasn’t like he was playing it at the mansion), before he turned in early for the night.

The next day was better. The moving crew was friendly and thorough, he was happy to hand over his old junk to the buyers, and once they’d trucked his belongings over to the mansion he enlisted their help in moving Auntie Bethany’s old craft furniture and the totes of supplies Nyla had packed up into his car, which he hauled off to be donated. His family didn’t call him, likely too busy spending as much of their new money as they possibly could within a day. He went to the gym in the evening, and bumped into an old friend he’d made before he switched to mornings.

Yes, the next day was better.

“He said he’s not coming home tonight,” Nyla informed them, gathered together in the kitchen for dinner. It had been a quiet day. With Master Galo leaving early in the morning, the most that had happened was Evan finishing out his recitations and trying to limp feeling back into his numbed legs. “We can go to sleep whenever we want to.”

“I’d like to sleep early, then,” Greyson remarked, and they all took a look at him. Normally he just listened and went along with whatever the group, or Nyla, decided.

“Tired?” Lilah asked.

“It’s been a week,” Greyson said heavily, and they all agreed. It had certainly been a week.

“Do you think we could take a bath?” Lilah asked, and they looked between themselves. Taking a bath in the basement bathroom, which had a tub like a small pool, was reserved for when Mistress was out of town for multiple days in a row, and only for the middling days, when there was no chance she might return from a cancelled flight or arrive early.

“Master is o-only away for the n-night.”

“But he hasn’t lied to us yet,” Nyla said. She glanced at Evan.

They all knew she was being indulgent for Evan’s sake, since he’d had a pretty shit time yesterday and that day. Acquiescing to a bit of mischief. He smiled.

“And we’d hear him open the front door, anyway.” Evan’s voice was still a little rough from that morning. “Dude’s heavy.”

“Let’s take a bath,” Greyson agreed.

They all showered like they normally did, Greyson first, getting off the grime and sweat of the day, and then sank into the large, gently steaming tub, soaking and talking quietly, ears perked for the sound of the front door, but enjoying the warmth, and the chance to relax. They spoke on Master Galo, collectively attempting to parse his mindgames and coming up short. They spoke on the work they had done and what needed doing, Nyla creating neat categories in her brain. Evan and Greyson spoke infrequently, one feeling too guilty to speak, the other too tired. And then they all said nothing at all, still and warm, simply sitting in the water.

Sasha started to nod off first, her head resting on Nyla’s shoulder, then jerking up, then laying on Greyson’s. He pet her wet hair and broke the silence by urging her to bed, with him. The other three, content and about as calm as they could get, in this place, were not far behind them.

They dried and dressed and climbed into bed, Greyson out in a moment, Evan asleep last, warm and with each other in their Master’s absence.

150 notes · View notes

trashcatsnark · 4 years ago

Note

What’s your opinion on Kerry being available to only male V when it’s mentioned in-game that he’s bi (correct me if I’m wrong, I have terrible memory)?? I feel like they should’ve had bi romance options if they were able to implement both gay and straight ones.

Oh anon, oooooh anon. I love you dearly, but you intentionally or not might as well have thrown lit dynamite in my ask box. This discourse has been such a strange beast within this fandom and I have definitely shared some vague thoughts about it before. I’m putting everything under a read more, to help stave off some....harassment or putting it in people’s lives who may not want it.

I still remember I was frankly heartbroken and upset when I first learned Kery wasn’t romanceable by female V when the game first officially came out, but before I played it; River and Panam weren’t even really known about, cause they weren’t talked about much in the promo material, plus Kerry was shown in romance scenes with what looked to be female V. So, if you go back far enough you’ll find me in December cope posting and being the saddest and angriest of beans, because other than Johnny who I knew was likely off the table. He was one of the only characters I wanted to potentially romance. Now, I’m further away from it, have processed my feelings regarding it and am more rational I believe regarding the issue.

But, that being said, a large issue of this sort of discourse is that; no matter what anyone says, someone somwhere is upset. I’ve been insulted, blocked, accused of fetishizing gay men, and so much over my opinion regarding this matter. I’m still currently debating if I even wanna tag this, cause the issue almost always brings negativity to my blog and to me. I have very little interest in being berated for this, so we’ll see how I feel after I finish typing this all out. I’m going to try to go through all my issues, my points, my troubles and feelings about the matter. But, at the end of the day, it is merely my opinion. If someone disagrees, fine, just don’t attack people or berate them over pixels in a video game. Just dont. That’s all I ask. Okay, so I’m gonna divide this into talking points and whatever, now.

Firstly, Kerry is bisexual. Point blank, period. I’ve seen folks try to argue that his wife was like comphet, which if you dont know means that sometimes exclusively homosexual people will try to force themselves into heterosexual relationships because society has conditioned them to believe they have to be straight. While, I’m not negating the fact that this happens, as a bisexual/pansexual (I use the terms interchangeably to define my experience and feelings) person I’ve struggled with it when making sense of my attraction to women. It genuinely is something that happens. This is not the case for Kerry; he doesn’t ever hide his attraction to men, between TTRPG lore and the video game he has had two wives , and he is stated by game developers and TTRPG creator to be bisexual.He is bisexual. Getting that out there, saying other wise, in my opinion is a level of bi erasure. That being said, I do still have my grievances with how the game chose to handle his bisexuality and bisexuality as whole, also imo, the game generally doesn’t seem...to treat players who are attracted to men well…

But before I get into that, I wanna make clear, I feel like Cyberpunk 2077 should have had more romance options for every orientation. If you’re not going to create a player-sexual style of romance; ie where every romanceable character is attracted to the player regardless and wish to focus on each character having their own predetermined sexuality; only have one character for each sexuality is kind of bullshit. If you’re a lesbian player and you’re not into Judy, you get nothing, except a fuck around with Meredith (who I will get to later). You’re a straight woman, but not into River, shit out of luck. You’re a gay man who’s not into Kerry, sucks to suck bud. You’re a straight man who’s not into Panam (kind dont get how you wouldn’t be but who am i to judge), well, you can fuck Meredith… so woooo. Oh also, if you’re not attracted to women, you will still be forced to watch in first person pov a sex scene with Alt and if you want Johnny to like you, you gotta date a girl. Also, all the male love interests will be sidelined mostly…. Hooray… But I digress, either go in with all romance options bi/pan/player sexual, or give more options for romance. Cause now you have the issue of people not getting the partner they hoped for and not liking their only option. Now, you got people trying to make the Judy bi, which is lesbian erasure and lesbophobic, along with people saying Kerry isn’t bi and can’t be with women which is bi erasure and biphobic. Whereas, if you had just gone in from the get go with either more options or a player-sexual romance system; we wouldn’t be here, CDPR.

Okay, so next thing, now that I’ve addressed my issues with the entire romance system and that yes, Kerry is bi. Should Kerry have been able to be romanced as female V? Yes and no. Which sounds vague, but I’m going somewhere. With the current set up of it; Kerry being romanceable to a female V would have unfairly given female players an additional love interest over male players. Female V would have the option of Judy, River, or Kerry. And Male V’s would have the option of Kerry or Panam. That’s not fair. I get that, inherently. CDPR painted themselves into a corner, by only letting there be two romances for “each” gender, one for “each” sexuality, and then using a canonically bi character for one of them. They played themselves, they were either gonna have to give an unfair amount of love interest to one side of their gender system or make a bi character who will only pursue one gender. So, they went for the latter.

Now, some people feel thats fine, because Kerry having a gender preference is fine and its okay for bi people to lean a certain way in regards to gender and its okay for them to not be attracted to people. And that is true. I am a bisexual woman who leans a little more towards men, I get that. However, I have only been given one reason for Kerry’s preference for male V over female V. And it was by a developer of the game who stated that Kerry pursues Male V and not Female V because Male V reminds him more of Johnny… And I hate that. I personally, hate it so deeply, because to me it does a complete disservice to Kerry and V’s relationship and Kerry’s arc. Because even with female V you see him being preoccupied with Johnny and V’s connection to Johnny, then you see him move past that. So, to then state, its still a deciding factor in him romancing V is so wrong to me. Like why???? Why would you do that to people who like Kerry??? Why would you put that in their heads, that Kerry on some level, subconsciously or not, was thinking about Johnny when he decides to romance V. Cause that’s not in the game, in the game you get the vibe he’s moving on past Johnny, like he’s growing, developing, genuinely likes V. But that stupid tweet, just radiates rancid vibes, whyyy???

And then, outside of that nasty tweet, I have to ask what other reason is there for why he prefers male V over fem V. They’re...the same characters essentially, just with different pronouns and body type. They also can look like whatever you want; they’re completely customizable. So, Its based off of what the game associates with gender characteristics and nothing else, meaning, his attraction is rooted solely in their gender and he turns down fem V by virtue of them being a woman and nothing else. Which, yeah, bisexual/pansexual people have preferences but when that preference completely excludes a gender based on nothing but gender…. Uhh????? See my issue????

And I’ve seen people saying, well, its better than CDPR playing into slutty will date anybody bisexual stereotypes. But, the thing is...THEY STILL DO THAT which is what drives me up the god damn wall; they managed to do slutty bi stereotypes and I don’t even get kiss the boy, which again, I get the need for fairness but wow, just wow. And lemme explain.

Meredith is the only character, other than joytoys, whom you can have sex with regardless of gender, body type, etc. She is the only character who shows that she is attracted to V on some level regardless of gender.

She is a one night stand. Her sex animations are the same as joytoys. She treated like a promiscuous love phobic woman. And having characters like that is fine, my own V is promiscuous and love phobic. But, we can acknowledge that in a video game by a AAA game company having the only character who is at least physically attracted to the player no matter what, be nothing but sex fodder...isn’t great bi representation, right?

Oh, and Kerry himself still is a promiscuous bisexual man, he just won’t romance female V because apparently, according to a dev, they don’t remind him of Johnny enough. AND THATS THE DEVS WORDS, NOT MINE, I HATE THAT. Like, Kerry is shown to have people’s lingerie around his house. He’s stated by Johnny to be someone who fucks around. He gets a blowjob from a man in a stairwell.

The two most blatantly canonically bi character in this game are promiscuous; one wont romance V at all and just wants sex, the other will only romance a male V because at worse, he’s comparing them mentally subconsciously to his dead friend and at best….because….reasons…. Literally, from what I understand for Kerry to romance V, they have to have the “male” body type and “male” voice. Meaning, fem V could literally by all appearances look like masc V, body type wise, but because she uses female pronouns and has a feminine sounding voice...no�� the stars say no…

In my honest opinion, it is bad bisexual representation and a not so well thought out romance system for a game.

But, that being said, I literally never romance anyone, because I’m a Johnny simp. So, the fuck do I know.

oh god do i tag this.... ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

#anon #asks #i can't put these in the main tags or kerry's i cant #im so weary of this #im sorry anon #im a pussy who's grown so weary of discourse #Anonymous

3 notes · View notes

metalchickaf19 · 5 years ago

Text

The Bowers Gang: Ship #14 - Victor Criss

Request: Hiya,this isn't an old ship request. Take your time. I'm the keep-your-head-down,work-hard,mind-your-business sort of Hufflepuff. Loyal AF. I look dead inside,but I cry about fictional shit [movies, books, soundtracks that one time] really easily. I've got a really deadpan/sarcastic sense of humour&no idea what to do with affection/earnestness when confronted with it. Not shy,just hate people.Love my cat, tho.Long-held belief that i'm dumb [despite decent grades in all but math]. I'm outwardly polite&raging inside. Fiction is an escapism coping mechanism. I'm always the DD in my friend group[which is small[don't need many friends, just good ones]. I write fiction! Original fiction&fan-focusing on mysteries &sci-fi/fantasy/YA. Had a couple of short stories published,too. Love reading -mysteries/YA/old-school pulp detective stories. Love horror movies but can't stand torture-porn. 5'6;short brown undercut;green eyes;glasses;baggy sweaters/big flannels/jeans/boots

Fact: You’re one of the best matches for Victor Criss I’ve yet come across, and it’s great

None of the rest of the guys like you very much (primarily because you’re a high-key intellectual and they have no way of keeping up), but fuck ‘em - that’s part of what makes you so right for Criss

Henry in particular doesn’t like it when you hang out around the gang, because he thinks your haircut makes you look like a lesbian

... And he’s not attracted to you, so there’s nothing hot about it

Basically just feels like he and the guys are waving a huge rainbow flag every time they’re spotted with you, and it gets his homophobia all up in a tizzy

I’m sorry, he’s an idiot - keep rocking that badass undercut, queen

You and Victor motivate each other in school because you both have aspirations to leave Derry someday

You actually have plans to move out of state and get an apartment together after graduation, but none of the other guys know this (don’t. tell. Bowers.)

Often tells you how smart, cute, funny (etc.) you are, because he knows you don’t think much of yourself, and the guy legit thrives on terminating girls’ negative self-images

Meaning the fact that you don’t know what to do with earnestness is fine - Criss will bombard you with it until you learn

Trades movies, books, and music with you all the time

Has never had someone to share his more “high-minded” (*cough* intelligent *cough*) interests with, so you get buried in film and literature suggestions for the whole first month of your relationship

In general though, you guys have very similar tastes, so you tend to join each other’s fandoms without a problem (aka: sleepover conversation is lit every time because common interests)

* Weird, somewhat upsetting side-note *

Patrick likes you most when it comes to the other guys - no contest

Partly because he vibes with your “dead inside” sense of humor...

... but mostly because he just wants to hit it (surprise, surprise)

Unlike Henry, finds your unconventional hairstyle super attractive, and wants to fuck you 10x more on top of that just because your Victor’s girlfriend

... They have a complicated relationship, let’s leave it that (Victor hates Patrick, Patrick thrives off of Victor’s hatred - the end)

But yeah, comes on to you basically every time you hang out with the gang, and is so bold about it that he actually got caught in the act once (Hockstetter is much louder about being Mr. Steal Yo’ Girl when he’s stealing from Criss)

Almost led to a physical fight between he and Victor, which was only avoided because Belch literally got between them

No joke - Belch had to fend off a livid Criss for over 15 minutes while he tried to force his way through to Patrick, who was laughing like a five-year-old in the background

So random Hockstetter gropes/propositions don’t happen as often now, but still go down on a fairly regular basis

... I’m sorry

* Weird, somewhat upsetting side-note over *

Victor once stopped Patrick and Henry from killing your cat

...Yeah, you read that right - legitimately stopped them from killing your household pet

Patrick stole it (of course) and brought it to Henry’s place, where Henry planned on taping a cherry bomb to its back “just to see what’d happen” - he would later say he didn’t know it was your cat (but he knew it was your fucking cat)

It was the first time Victor ever straight-up “noped” something Henry wanted to do, and outright stopped it from happening

Literally just walked up on the situation, went and picked up your cat without saying a word, and started working the tape off of it as he walked away

And Bowers didn’t say one damn word to stop him, because Criss had a serious “this isn’t an argument” vibe going on

Long story short, it was the sexiest moment of his life, and it was done entirely out of love for you - have fun with that

Victor helps tutor you in math (it’s his best subject outside of English)

Also loves the fact that you write

Loves it

And actually... all the other guys do too

Shocking, I know

Since Victor introduced the concept that fictional characters can be based on people in an author’s real life, all the guys look for traces of their own personalities in your characters

... And Hockstetter now insists that almost every character you write, whether new or old, is him - even ones you made up long before you met the gang (”Aw, just come right out and say it, sweetheart - I was always your leading man.” *Gut-wrenching Hockstetter grin*)

But all the guys love looking for themselves in your work, so Victor usually steals your final drafts/finished stories and reads them to the gang without you knowing

It’s honestly kind of the most adorable thing ever - Victor is happy because he gets to show off your writing skill, and the guys are happy because story time

I literally never thought I’d type that, ever

Overall, a great relationship that would probably bring about some intense personal changes on Victor’s part

When it comes down to you and the guys, he chooses you every time, and their bullshit behavior towards you would likely lead to his abandoning the gang somewhere down the line

You have a man that will change for you, girl; cherish him

#henry bowers #patrick hockstetter #belch huggins #victor criss #the bowers gang #the bowers gang headcanons #it

23 notes · View notes

bitchboi2000-blog · 5 years ago

Text

Is Asexuality LGBT (An Essay?--This is longer than I intended it to be lol)

I know I’ve never really made a post on here before, I usually enjoy looking at other peoples’ content and not contributing to much myself since I usually don’t feel I have anything to share, talent or information-wise. However, I’ve recently been seeing a lot of arguing over a certain topic, and although I’ve sort of seen it before, for some reason this theme has been heating up a lot lately and now that it’s becoming more frequently apparent, it’s been something I’ve thought about a lot more. There’s one YouTuber I enjoy the content of, and I generally agree with his views and opinions on various subjects, and when he brought this topic up in one of his videos that I only recently discovered, I found myself a little... disappointed. I still understand where he was coming from and respect why he felt the way he did, but I feel that he was also pretty uneducated on the subject and, since I know many other people seem to be as well, I thought maybe, just maybe, I could put something out there that might, hypothetically, shed some light. Just giving my own opinion, stance, and thoughts to consider for anyone on any side of the argument.

And what is this controversial topic, you may ask?

Whether or not asexuality is included in the LGBT(+) community.

Many people say they are, many people say they aren’t. I think both stances are valid, but the reasons why someone may claim one or the other is something that I find a particular issue with. To me, whether or not asexuality is in the LGBT community is sort of a grey area, it’s not so easy to say because it’s not quite so obvious. Asexuality is a spectrum, and this topic is complicated.

First, I’m going to go over why many people claim they shouldn’t be included in the community (and whether or not I agree with those claims). Then, I’ll go over why many people claim they should be part of the community (and whether or not I agree with those claims), and, finally, I’ll give my own personal opinion and stance.

To start with: Why it isn’t.

1. “The LGBT community is for people who have sexual attraction to the same sex! If you don’t have any sexual attraction, you wouldn’t belong with the LGBT!”

-- I don’t 100% agree. The LGBT community isn’t exclusive to people who feel same-sex attraction. Bisexuality exists, and they aren’t exclusively attracted to the same sex. Also! Transgender people exist, and they could be 100% heterosexual but because they’re trans, they’re still part of the LGBT community! And, therefore, the LGBT community isn’t restricted only to your sexual orientation being geared toward the same sex. So although this doesn’t debunk the claim on whether or not asexuality should be included, it’s something to consider.

2. “If you lack sexual attraction to someone, nobody’s discriminating against you. It’s not even in the same realm as being lesbian or gay.”

-- I could agree with this to an extent. The discrimination asexuals face, historically, aren’t the same as those who are gay or trans. Just like the discrimination bisexuals face isn’t the same as a homosexual. They may be similar, but they’re different. Likewise, asexuals--contrary to this popular belief--do experience discrimination. It may look different, and they may be treated differently, and sometimes it’s with less severity of homosexuality, but discrimination is discrimination. I don’t mind people saying that asexuals don’t experience the same sort of discrimination as trans and homosexual people, because that’s true! But I do have an issue with people claiming that they don’t experience discrimination because that’s not true. At least, not always. Are there asexuals who have experienced no discrimination? Absolutely. For some asexuals, the worst that’s happened to them is that people look at them in confusion, respect their identity, or perhaps make jokes about how they’re a plant (which when done in a light-hearted attitude is just an annoyance, but they’re not being treated any differently or as any less of a human being). However, there are asexuals who do. For many years, asexuality was considered to be a mental illness. That there was something “wrong” with a person because they didn’t have any sexual desires. Similar to a form of discrimination that many homosexuals face, many people try to invalidate asexuality by saying “you only feel that way as a defense mechanism after being sexually abused”. This is implying that you can’t truly be of your sexual orientation unless you were harmed in some way, and although defense mechanisms are a valid way of coping with trauma, claiming that someone is only of their sexual orientation because of their trauma is incredibly rude, invalidating, and uneducated. Heterosexuals can still be heterosexual even if they’ve been sexually abused, and homosexuals can be homosexual even if they’ve never been sexually abused. A person’s sexuality is a part of who they are, it’s not a choice or something that “happened” to them. It’s not something someone can change (you can change your behavior for your sake or someone else’s, but you can’t change who you are. It’s how closeted homosexuals can pass being in a heterosexual relationship--because their desire for emotional and/or physical survival outweighs their natural attraction to the same sex, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t homosexual). So, for asexuality to be written off as a coping mechanism due to trauma is, in a way, a form of discrimination. It’s saying that what that person feels and is experiencing isn’t real or valid, and it can be very harmful and damaging to a person in many ways. Many people do see asexuals as “broken people” or as if there was something wrong with them. Even if they don’t believe it’s something their doing as a “coping mechanism” and respect asexuality as a sexual orientation, they still think there’s something wrong with being asexual. Just like how some people can respect that homosexuality is a sexual orientation, and even believe it’s not something they can help, but still think there’s something wrong with homosexual people. Asexuals are often seen as cold, frigid, emotionless, unloveable people, and are even associated with not being human. Even though it is often said in a joking light (though not always), there’s always the questions and claims rising up of “sexuality is part of human nature, you’re going against nature’s design and natural calling”, “humans are sexual beings, so, therefore, there’s something wrong with you and you must not be human”, “are you secretly a robot or something? How can you not feel anything??”. These are all very dehumanizing, and when an asexual is faced with these questions and claims, it can very much leave a person feeling lost, or like there’s something wrong with them and they’re not “normal”. Treating someone, like there’s something wrong with them (due to their sexuality), implying that someone may not be human, suggesting that they must be cold and callous and aren’t desirable in a friendship or relationship, is all a form of discrimination that can hurt a person’s psyche, is it not? Some asexuals are sexually assaulted because the assaulter believes they can “fix” the asexual and turn them straight/homosexual/whatever. “Corrective rape” is just as much discrimination for a homosexual as it is for an asexual. The root is discrimination against the victim’s sexuality, the result is a scarring act of violence. Some asexuals, believe it or not, are not accepted by their families for their orientation. On the most minor level, they’re dismissed and treated as a “late bloomer”, on the worst level, they’re sent to a conversion camp because being asexual is “just as bad as homosexuality” simply because, in some religious beliefs, not reproducing is going against god’s plan and design for you and is therefore a sin. I’ve not yet heard of an asexual being kicked out of their house for being asexual, but that doesn’t mean all asexuals are accepted by their family and don’t experience discrimination from loved ones (which is why, again, the discrimination may look different, but it’s still there). Some people hold the belief that anyone who isn’t cisgender and heterosexual is, somehow, crazy, uneducated, irrational, and in religious contexts, a sinner or abomination. Because of this, sometimes, if someone claims to be asexual, they are automatically lumped in with these negative claims. Similar to how just being homosexual can give you a “bad” rep, in some cases, just being anything other than heterosexual can give you that same “bad rep”, and asexuality is included in that. It’s not as common, but you absolutely can be killed for being asexual. To be fair, you can be murdered for just about any reason or motive, but if you think that being asexual is taken off of the list, you’re completely wrong. Just as a cishet woman could potentially be killed by a man for rejecting his romantic/sexual advances and a cis lesbian or trans man could be murdered for prejudiced and bigotted beliefs, asexuality absolutely could be a reason for a hateful, violent person to attack another individual. It’s not the most common form of discrimination for ace people, it’s not the most known form of discrimination for ace people, ace people aren’t more popularly known for being at risk for this (though are ace people commonly known by society, anyway?), but do not think that just because someone’s asexual they are automatically unqualified to be targetted for violence. Violence can happen to anyone, for any reason, at any time. And, if you wanted to go there, asexuals can also potentially be discriminated against when people claim it’s not a real sexuality. Asexuals are often rejected by both the heterosexual community (from being very clearly not heterosexual) and rejected by the LGBT community (for being very clearly not homosexual, either). Not being seen as belonging in either community can certainly be a form of discrimination and ostracization. Not the worst form of it, but certainly a form.

3. “I don’t really have an issue with asexuality, but heteromantic asexuals are basically just heterosexual, so they don’t belong in the community at all.”

-- I understand this claim and, to a degree, respect it. There are many asexual heteromantic cisgender people who in no way identify with the LGBT community because they just don’t see themselves as “queer” in any way, so they don’t fit in. Because asexuals don’t experience sexual attraction, that’s one less thing they can bond with LGBT members over (since cishet asexuals don’t experience discrimination for their gender or who they fell in love with in fifth grade). And because the LGBT community can so often have a hypersexual air about it, many asexuals themselves don’t feel like they belong there. Some people are okay with asexuals being in the LGBT community because they’re also homo/biromantic or transgender. So for a lot of people, whether or not you belong in the LGBT community depends on whether or not you in any way fit into one of the existing acronyms and not whether or not you’re of marginalized sexuality. To a degree, I respect this. Many LGBT people don’t want their safe space to be invaded by cishet (as in both of those things simultaneously in the same person) people since those people so often have oppressed them, and though they love their cishet friends, the LGBT community just isn’t their space to be. Just like you may love your little sister but when she’s constantly barging into your bedroom it gets annoying because--she has a room of her own! And you two spend time with each other in the rest of the house! Why does she have to come into your room when you’re with your friends and you really just want to enjoy their company without your sister being involved?! And, because cishet(eromantic) asexual people still pass as being cishet, they’re often lumped in the same group and aren’t really welcomed into the community. Which, again. I understand that and kind of respect it. But, on the other hand--if cishet asexual people also feel alienated by cis heterosexual/romantic people, then it feels like they have nowhere to go--so I also understand why they turn to the LGBT community and try to find a place there. The LGBT community is known for being a place of acceptance for discriminated/oppressed sexualities and gender identities, so it’s understandable why an asexual would feel more at home among those sorts of people. Basically, my point is that I understand this view point, and I respect it. I don’t 100% agree, but I don’t really disagree, either. I’ll get more onto this in the end when I go over my own stance.

4. “The A stands for Ally!”

-- lol that’s debatable. A lot of people don’t even like to call it the LGBTQIA+ community because it becomes too many letters, and they just go by LGBT--which certainly doesn’t have an A. Even if you are being inclusive of all those little letters, whether the A actually stands for asexual or ally is debatable. Many asexuals believe the A stands for asexuality--because asexuality is an actual minority sexual orientation, meanwhile just being an ally of the LGBT community isn’t in any way actually being a part of the community. Because you just support it. But you aren’t in it. So I understand why many people claim the A is for asexuality and not for being an “ally”. Because allyship isn’t a sexuality lol when you’re an ally you’re literally saying you’re cishet, not part of the community, but you support the community. Which is really nice and awesome, but I don’t understand why you’d have a letter included in that community when you’re not... part of that community. It’s like saying “that’s great that this is a charity for starving children, but could you also include the wealthy fed people in the title? Why? Well because we’re donating to help the starving children! So we should be included in the name of this charity!! We’re a very big part of it!!” There’s absolutely nothing wrong with being a supportive ally (it’s incredibly important that we have you guys), but the community isn’t for you--so when people try to claim that the A is for “ally”, I just... I don’t think so. I don’t agree. I understand why asexuals are trying to claim the A.

5. “The A stands for Ally so closeted people can still join!”

-- I completely respect this. 100%. So many closeted people want to be proud of who they are, but for their own safety, they can’t. So claiming to be an “ally”, going to pride events because they’re an “ally”, etc. is a great way for them to still interact, still be part of the community, while keeping their safety. I absolutely don’t mind the A being included in the acronym if it’s being used as a cover identity for closeted individuals. I think it’s great that it can be used that way and fully support that. If someone wants to use the A in the acronym because they secretly are LGBT and want to be included in the community while being safely closeted, I think that’s fine. If you try to tell me that the A stands for ally because supporting the LGBT community means you’re deserving to be part of the community, and asexuals don’t belong to be part of the community because the A is for ally and not for asexuality, then I don’t agree with you. Because in that scenario you’re literally forcing yourself into a community you’re not technically a part of, while simultaneously trying to push out an actual minority sexuality.

6. “Asexuality is a choice”

-- Absolutely not. Celibacy and asexuality are two different things. If you don’t think asexuality belongs in the LGBT community because you think asexuality is a choice, you should first educate yourself on what asexuality actually is and then please restate your opinion and stance. You can be a celibate homosexual. Celibacy is a choice. Asexuality is a sexual orientation. One is something you choose despite the desire, one is a sexual orientation--something you can’t help or change even though you may want to because of how society treats you.

7. “I’m fine with agender, but not asexuality because you still have dysphoria and transition, so you’re still trans, but with asexuality you’re not changing anything. You’re not being discriminated against, nothing’s happening to you”

-- As far as the discrimination thing goes, I think you can read one of my above statements to know that I completely disagree. And as far as needing to change, that’s not accurate, either. Trying to compare a sexuality to a gender identity is comparing apples and oranges. Yes, both have an “a” to represent the lack of something, but they’re two completely different things. Your sexuality isn’t supposed to change. Like, I suppose an asexual can “change” their lifestyle by coming out, accepting who they are, and becoming more comfortable in their sexual orientation, wearing more pride colors if they felt like it, and making shitty puns--which would be no different than with a homosexual person doing those same things. But of course, those “changes” are completely different than a trans person’s changing process. They’re two entirely different things. Saying an asexual doesn’t belong in the LGBT community because they’re not “changing” and “nothing is happening to them” is completely irrelevant because we’re not talking about gender identity here, we’re talking about sexuality. This is an invalid argument.

8. “There are no asexual icons who are advocating for the LGBT community.” “Historically, asexuals aren’t contributing to the LGBT community, they haven’t fought for any of our rights, so they don’t belong in the LGBT community”.

-- I admit I don’t know too much history and every political figure to know whether or not this is true. My guess is that in all the history of the world, I’m sure there’s been at least one asexual person who’s advocated and fought for LGBT related things (maybe they didn’t have the word to describe their sexuality, but still fought for the community nonetheless). But, even if, hypothetically, there were no LGBT activists who were asexual, ever, in the history of mankind. ...Do you need to be an advocate to be part of the community? Many LGBT people are happy living their lives, grateful to those who have fought for their rights and basking in those liberations without going to protests or marches, themselves. Not every person has to go to war to enjoy living in safety. Similarly, you can still be part of the LGBT community without being an advocate, yourself. This is kind of rude for every LGBT person who’s never faced discrimination (because society is changing, and there are some--even if few--who haven’t been horribly discriminated against for their sexuality) or hasn’t actively participated in any marches, protests, or historical events. But that doesn’t mean they’re not gay. Just like there’s been many people who have fought for gay rights, trans rights, who have gone to marches and made a change, historically, who aren’t gay themselves. They did it because it was the right thing to do, because they cared, they were able to, because they were an ally. I feel this is also an invalid argument because whether someone should be part of the LGBT community, in my opinion, shouldn’t be depending on whether or not they’ve personally contributed something significant to it. But idk that’s just my opinion. I understand where this argument is coming from and what they’re trying to say, I just don’t entirely think it’s a valid argument to exclude a particular sexuality.

Now, reasons why people claim that asexuality should be part of the LGBT community.

1. “The LGBT community is a community for any minority sexual orientation or gender! And, therefore, asexuality should be included!

-- I don’t completely agree. I do feel like the LGBT community is more reserved for minority sexualities and gender identities who have been discriminated against, oppressed, and have been mistreated by society in one way or another for their identity. And although, yes, many minority sexualities do get odd looks and people may make fun of you or tease you or think you’re stupid or crazy, that’s not really legitimate discrimination (in my opinion) where you would need a “safe place” or an entire community of your own. You don’t need a support group (in my opinion). Demisexuality is a valid orientation, I’m glad there’s a word for it--since it’s a more specific term than just saying you’re heterosexual or homosexual and people getting the wrong idea when they hit you up for a one night stand. I don’t think demisexuality is oppressed and I don’t think it needs to be in the LGBT community--if you were demiheterosexual, cisgender, heteromantic, I don’t personally think you’d be part of the LGBT community just because you have a little demi in there and are ““technically”” of a “minority” “”sexuality””. Someone can be “homoflexible” as their sexuality, and it’s a valid sexuality, I’m glad there’s a specific word for it, and that’s fine. Maybe someone prefers to identify with the minority sexuality of “homoflexible” instead of claiming to be bisexual, and that’s fine. They’re still part of the LGBT community because they mostly are attracted to the same sex and thus are extremely prone to the discrimination 100% homosexual people experience. My point is, I don’t think minority sexualities are invalid, I’m glad there’s words out there that exist for them. Having specific labels, precise identifiers, particular words that exactly describe you are important to a lot of people, so having those terms and minority labels are perfectly fine with me. I have no issue with it if someone identifies as demihomosexual panromantic cis man. I now have a more precise idea of your orientation and identity, so I like that. I do have an issue with people saying that just because it’s in the minority it belongs in the LGBT community. There’s fine lines and grey areas, sure. But just because it’s “out of the usual” doesn’t mean it belongs. I say this because then people get confused and think they can any less-common sexuality or identity into the LGBT community which not only makes us sometimes look like crazy fools to the rest of the world (I’m sorry, I don’t believe in stargender), and then you get people who think they’re part of the LGBT community and want to have everything inclusive of them and revolving around them just because they’re lithosexual and loses feelings for every person they’ve been with--even though they’re heterosexual and cisgender. It’s fine that they identify as lithosexual (even though they’re also heterosexual and cisgender), but that doesn’t necessarily mean the LGBT community is for them. But just because it’s a minority sexuality or identity doesn’t mean it’s necessarily part of the LGBT community, that the LGBT community is for them, or that the LGBT community will accept them (and when they get rejected that they have every right to fight their way inside the community they were rejected from anyway). The SAGA(sexuality and gender acceptance) community is accepting of every gender and sexual orientation, so that’s the perfect place for any minority that wants a place to belong when they don’t quite fit for the LGBT community.

2. The A means “Asexuality”!

-- That’s entirely debatable. I don’t personally know who was the first one to put “A” in the LGBT+ acronym, but that person is the only one who can clarify what the A means. As far as I know, the A could mean “Ally” (meant to be used for closeted people), it could mean “Asexuality”, and neither has been confirmed or proven. Not trying to invalidate, or say asexuality is or isn’t in the LGBT community, just I don’t think this is the strongest argument.

3. “Asexuals are discriminated against and if you’re being discriminated against, you belong in the LGBT community!”

-- Again, I don’t entirely agree with that mindset. As I’ve made it clear above, I don’t think that just because you’re being discriminated against means you’re part of the LGBT community. You could be a pedophile, and there will be backlash with your predatory behavior, and that doesn’t mean you’re valid and belong to be in the LGBT community. You could really like pineapple on your pizza, and maybe your friends make fun of you or bully you for it, but just because you’re being ~”discriminated”~ against doesn’t mean you’re LGBT. You can face oppression for your religious beliefs, but that doesn’t make you LGBT.

4. “Asexuality is a minority sexuality that’s faced discrimination and they don’t really belong in the hetero community, so they feel more comfortable and safe in the LGBT community and I think we should be accepting of them, because I’ve been mistreated for my sexuality, and I don’t want to send them away.”

-- There are many LGBT people who are accepting of asexuals and think they belong in the community because many asexuals feel like they have nowhere else they really belong, identify as a minority sexual orientation, and feel more comfortable identifying as part of the LGBT community. Considering asexuality isn’t heterosexuality (and unlike demisexuality where there can be grey lines, it is very OBVIOUSLY not heterosexuality), and many asexuals do experience some form of discrimination or invalidation of who they are, many LGBT people think there’s nothing wrong in including them into the LGBT community, and many LGBT people feel that the LGBT community should be accepting of asexuality because they personally feel that asexuality fits in well enough with the LGBT community and certainly is too different from heterosexuality to be seen as anything other than “queer”. I personally don’t think this is a necessarily wrong or bad reason to support asexuality belonging in the LGBT community.

Now, here’s my opinion. And I know what you’re about to say: “But you were just spending this whole post talking about your opinion!!” Yes!! I was!! I was giving various claims and arguments on whether or not asexuality should be part of the LGBT community, and what my thoughts on those arguments were. But now I just want to fully express my stance and beliefs.

I believe, ultimately, that it depends entirely from case to case. I believe some asexuals belong in the LGBT community (and not because they’re also biromantic or trans or something else), and I believe some asexuals don’t belong in the LGBT community (and not because they’re cisgender and heteromantic).

Asexuality is a minority sexuality, but it’s far more common than people think. There have been researches on it, statistics drawn, and it’s not some random, obscure sexuality that only a hundred people “vibe” with. It’s 1% of the population, roughly, which puts them at about the same frequency as transgender people (who are also roughly 1% of the world’s population). Because of this, I don’t think asexuality is some extremely minor, incredibly niche group of people. I think that as far as minority sexualities go, asexuality is common enough, present enough, and exists frequently enough in people to be part of the LGBT community. I believe asexuality can experience discrimination due to their sexuality--and because it’s not some incredibly rare thing that only 20 people identify as, I believe this discrimination is in more valid need of a space and community than some obscure identity like placiosexuality (which is more of a preference in action, not a distinct sexuality that stands on its own--it’s a modifier to a sexuality, but not a sexuality distinctly on its own).

And, as such, I personally feel that it vibes well with the LGBT community, and I don’t personally have an issue with it being in the LGBT community. If a bisexual person experiences discrimination for being bisexual, but ultimately can still live a “straight passing” relationship and escape from their oppression, and still be considered LGBT, I think that a heteromantic asexual, who is discriminated against and oppressed for their asexuality, and struggles to be in relationships even though they’re “hetero” can also be part of the LGBT community. If an asexual person is struggling with their identity, is being discriminated against, is afraid that their partners might act out violently against them because of their sexuality (or pressure and coerce them into sexual activity that the person doesn’t want to engage in), they’ve been ostracized by their family, mistreated by their friends, all for their sexuality--I understand why they’d turn to the LGBT community, a community known for being accepted of sexualities that aren’t otherwise accepted by society, and hope to find a place where they belong in that community. And if an asexual person experienced all of those things because of their sexuality, I don’t care if they’re heteromantic and cisgender. I, personally, have no issue with considering them LGBT, because I just don’t really see asexuals as being “straight”, and if that particular asexual is already struggling so hard with trying to live a “heterosexual” life and they’re being discriminated against and it’s making them miserable, yeah. I really don’t mind if they want to consider themselves LGBT and feel more comfortable with that label and want to associate with us.

I think that if a person is asexual and aromantic, and if they want to consider themselves part of the LGBT community, I’m perfectly fine with that as well. They’re, very clearly, not hetero in any way shape or form, and so, again, I personally feel they vibe well and if they want to consider themselves LGBT I don’t have an issue with it.

If someone is heterosexual, cisgender, and aromantic... I don’t think they belong in the LGBT community. Of course, I’m open to it, but just like with other extreme minority identities, I don’t think just because you’re out of the norm you necessarily belong to the LGBT community. I, personally, don’t think cis/het aromantic people face any legitimate discriminations (aside from just being told they’re heartless--which certainly sucks, but I don’t think it’s legitimate enough to call for needing a support group or an entire community for), and I don’t personally feel that they vibe enough with the LGBT community. Of course, I might change my mind, I might be informed otherwise, but right now, that’s just my stance. There’s plenty of cisgender heterosexual people who aren’t looking for relationships, and I don’t personally know of them being discriminated against for their sexuality where they would need to be in the LGBT community. The AVEN community? Definitely. But not LGBT. Not in my opinion, unless, again, someone can give me a good and legitimate argument.

Now, if you’re asexual, heteromantic, and cisgender, and you’ve not been terribly mistreated because you’re asexual, you’ve not been discriminated against because you’re asexual, and the worst thing that’s happened to you because you’re asexual is your family says “you’re just a late bloomer” and your friends joke “lol r u a plant”... I personally don’t think you belong in the LGBT community, either. And I know it sucks to be playing the “oppression points” game, and that just because you’re oppressed doesn’t make you more/less valid, and that there’s some gay kids that don’t get oppressed--which are all valid points, but... You have to understand that the LGBT community isn’t just being oppressed, and just being a minority. Both things are important and valid, but to my understanding of it, LGBT is for people who’ve been legitimately discriminated against because of their identity. And if you haven’t been discriminated against for your asexuality (which already is even debatable whether or not asexuality is even LGBT), but in every other aspect of your life you don’t identify with the LGBT community even a little bit, it’s hard for me to see why you would really need to be accepted into the LGBT community. Not a whim, or a want, because you want to feel “cool” or whatever, but why you actually think that you need to be included in the LGBT community, why you want to get that support from other queer people, why do you think you’re queer when you already so heavily vibe with cis/het society and don’t struggle with fitting in with that society? I’m not trying to be rude, or gatekeeping (technically I can’t tell you anything--if you want to claim to be LGBT I can’t stop you from claiming that), or invalidating of your identity, I just personally don’t know why you think you would need to be part of the LGBT community. Again, maybe someone can give me a compelling argument to change my mind, but I don’t see any need for an asexual heteromantic cisgender person who’s experienced no discrimination to need a space in the LGBT community. I don’t see why there’s that emotional or psychological need.

If you’re asexual and transgender, homoromantic, biromantic, or whatever, I don’t know why you’re concerned about this. You’re already LGBT for different reasons. I’d like to know why you think asexuality needs to be considered LGBT if you’re already being included in the community. Not judging, just wondering.

“But what if asexual heteromantic cisgenders still want a community where they belong, even if they haven’t gotten enough OppReSsIoN PoINtS to BeLoNG in the LGBT community?!?!”

AVEN. AVEN is a community made by asexuals, for asexuals. And not just asexuality. As many aces know, “Asexual” is just an umbrella term. Demisexual, greysexual, and asexual people are all included in the AVEN community. You could be asexual and sex repulsed, sex neutral, sex positive, and you’ll fit in the AVEN community. You could be of any romantic orientation (hetero, bi, homo, whatever) and any gender identity and still be part of the AVEN community. You can have any sexuality and be aromantic and be part of the AVEN community. AVEN isn’t for heterosexual heteromantics, it’s for asexuals and aromantics and all of those variants.

I, personally, believe asexuality is a completely valid identity. I believe some asexuals fit in fine with the LGBT community and I consider some asexuals to be part of the LGBT community, and for those who I don’t personally think are part of the LGBT community, I don’t see why that’s a problem--because I’m not throwing you to the dogs or forcing you to find your way with heterosexual/romantics, but because there’s already another community that’s perfect for you. I understand wanting a space of your own that’s different than the rest of society, and even though I don’t think the LGBT community is always for every person, that doesn’t mean there’s no alternatives. I think the AVEN community is a perfect place for asexuals and aromantics of all types--it overlaps with the LGBT community because many asexuals are also homoromantic or trans, but it’s not the same as a completely cishet community like the rest of society--so even if you do lean on the more cishet side of asexuality or aromanticism, you still absolutely 100% belong in the AVEN community without any discussion. Just like the SAGA community is perfect for LGBT+ people who want to be even more inclusive of everything, or merely want a different acronym, that’s fine.

And, also, here’s the thing. A lot of asexuals, pardon my pun, don’t give a fuck. I’ve known heteromantic cisgender asexuals who don’t identify with the LGBT or AVEN community and don’t want to be a part of it. I think that’s fine. Hell, there’s plenty of asexuals who may already be a part of the LGBT community who don’t care if asexuality is included in the acronym or not because whether or not asexuality is included--even though they’re asexual themselves--doesn’t really matter to them. I’ve known plenty of LGBT people who aren’t aro/ace in any way who are 100% fine with asexuals being included and are completely against this whole discourse to begin with. I’ve known plenty of people who are ace who don’t care if they’re LGBT or not, or even prefer not to be considered LGBT, because they have the AVEN community and feel that’s more where they fit in and belong anyway.

I just don’t think people really care that much. If you want to consider yourself LGBT, that’s fine. I don’t think anyone’s going to stop you. For some of the people who might argue that you don’t belong, whatever, it doesn’t really matter. Some people are sensitive over LGBT issues and feel strongly over what they think should or shouldn’t be included, and I think that’s perfectly fine. If you feel like it does matter that some people don’t think you’re LGBT, then you have AVEN, so it’s not like you’re alone and have nowhere to go. I just don’t think this is as big of an issue as most people are trying to make it out to be.

Also, just so we’re clear, I’m asexual, myself. I’m also biromantic and trans. I’m not perfect, I don’t know everything, but because I’m asexual and already part of the LGBT community, I’ve got a pretty good idea of what the LGBT and AVEN communities are like, and since I am part of both, I feel like I have more thoughts and insight on it than, say, a heterosexual/heteromantic trans guy who has limited knowledge of what the “asexuality experience” even is like. I think there’s a lot of grey areas, a lot of thin lines, and I personally don’t feel it’s an extremely black and white issue. For some people it is, and I don’t personally care when someone feels strongly one way or another. I personally think whether an asexual person belongs in the LGBT community or not depends on a case-by-case scenario, and it’s up for discussion. I’m okay with asexuality being LGBT, I’m okay with it not being LGBT. Since the AVEN community is already a thing that exists, I don’t see why it’s such a huge deal whether you fit in with the LGBT community or not solely for the fact that you’re asexual and nothing else. I do get bothered when people say “you can’t be LGBT because asexuals don’t get discriminated against” and I also have an issue with saying “LGBT should be supportive and accepting of everyone!” as stated above. Which is why I can’t say it’s a black and white, yes or no thing. I understand both sides, both sides of this argument make good points that I can respect to a degree and can even agree with sometimes. Which is why I personally think...

Is asexuality LGBT? I think it just depends on the person.

#asexuality #ace #discourse #lgbt #lgbtcommunity #aven #avencommunity

1 note · View note

hotbugbot · 8 years ago

Text

Overwatch HCs

Ana: straight. the otp with reinhardt. pretty shameless with her affection and probably embarrasses pharah with it sometimes. not vulgar, just old and open. somewhat motherly toward mccree, and is team advice grandma. voted most likely to share an embarrassing story about anyone giving her too much sass.

Bastion: beeps boops. sexuality and gender are not a thing. has made friends with nearly the entire crew of overwatch, including the anti-omnics, save for maybe anyone on team talon. voted most likely to have a collection of decorative flower pots.

D.va: pansexual trans girl. way more interested in vidya games than people. became quick bffs with lúcio, who is her transitioning buddy. her and genji are casual friends, who share a passion for classic arcade games. quietly thinks hanzo is hot but is Not About That stuffy personality. also likes the junkers, partly in an ironic way but also genuinely. voted most likely to make a meme out of stupid shit her teammates say.

Genji: bisexual. the otp with mccree, established before recall. after he overcomes his body dysphoria thanks to zenyatta’s guidance, genji regains confidence in his sexuality and becomes a giant flirt 2.0. polyamorous cyborg is much more respectful and less flighty in relationships than his younger self was. had a dragon tattoo mirroring hanzo’s own but in green down his right arm, before it got torn the fuck off. all that remains of his old body is bits of his face, his left arm, and a few vital organs. death by ryuu ga waga teki wo kurau. voted most likely to spew absolute filth in japanese around those he knows cannot speak it for kicks.

Hanzo: either bisexual with a slight female preference, or demi. thinks the team cowboy is hot hot hot, but has a much harder time coming to terms with his (gay) feelings than his brother does. has a friendship with satya based on their mutual appreciation for order and company in silence. his legs are prosthetic. voted most obnoxiously tidy room.

Junkrat: ?? gray asexual, probably. too preoccupied with blowing shit up to care much. when he isn’t blowing shit up, he actually puts in quite an effort to befriend his teammates, but to the point it is overbearing and invasive. voted most likely to lose more limbs by the end of the year.

Lúcio: bisexual, slight male preference. trans guy. became quick bffs with hana, who is his transitioning buddy. his lower half is partially prosthetic, with enhancements; unlike hanzo, synthetic pieces are built around his fleshy legs that allow him to not only walk but skate like a pro. also hangs around reinhardt a lot, but everyone loves reinhardt. voted most likely to disappear at night to satisfy a sweet tooth craving.

Mccree: bisexual. the otp with genji, established before recall. big on pet names and 100% shameless when it comes to using them in public. has a tattoo on his upper back from his deadlock days, which he now regrets. his relationship with reyes is complicated at best, largely thanks to gabriel having treated him much like a father would a son in his early recruit days. to say negative feelings have completely replaced any of appreciation and love would be a lie. still close to pharah and ana. voted most likely to whistle loudly in the shower.

Mei: bisexual or gay. probably gay. suffers from ptsd due to losing her friends in the cryostasis incident, just is, to her detriment, very good at hiding it behind a smile. has coping rituals to get by and generally gets along well with the recall team, but occasionally has to force herself to socialize. tracer, lúcio, and zarya have been particularly good at making this easier for her. voted most likely to describe memories in vivid detail like no one else can.

Mercy: bisexual. low on the angela hcs, but her hands are DIRTY, the pure angel persona is a lie. might’ve had a minor interest in ana romantically in her younger days, but never did anything about it. voted most likely to overwork herself.

Pharah: gay. thought she had a small crush on mccree when she was young, but came to realize she simply admired his confidence and companionship. has since formed a brother-sister relationship with him that’s lasted to present day. has complicated feelings toward mercy, namely, is Hella In Love with her while mercy felt more companionship with her mother in the older days, and sees fareeha like a sister. she wants to return the familial sentiment but just ends up sweating a lot and acting like a clumsy, lovesick fool. voted most likely to follow an insanely strict meal plan for health benefits.

Reaper: gay. gay and his relationship with morrison is so, so deliciously complicated. a great number of things fanned the fire that led to the incident at swiss HQ, and their personal (gaaay) relationship certainly didn’t help douse any flames. whatever happened, reyes was screwed just as much as jack, if not more. practically canon supported. voted most likely to have skull crushing thighs.

Reinhardt: straight. the otp with ana. the most affectionate partner out of all the heroes, hands down. will let you swing from his flexing biceps whether you are 4 or 40 and boisterously proclaim how he is loving every second of it. has a garden he tends to and harvests on base. fareeha’s adoptive father, but also kind of everyone’s adoptive grandfather. voted most likely to wake others with his snoring.

Roadhog: bisexual. has a natural talent for detail work, and can pick up just about any handicraft in a few attempts. if he isn’t blasting holes into things, he’s probably somewhere off in his own space sewing or baking. is polynesian, and can play a mean ukulele. vegetarian. voted most likely to liberate a herd of animals from the pound.

Soldier 76: bisexual. see: reaper. not a dad, but definitely team dad, likely against his will. i basically subscribe to the popular headcanon that jack was an overambitious golden poster boy in his younger years, and worked his ass off to get the respect and praise he thinks he deserves. things started to sour in overwatch before he was necessarily ready to deal with them or the position thrust upon him. voted most likely to say he won’t lift a finger for anyone who acts like a suicidal asshole in a skirmish, but ends up going above and beyond to save them if there’s trouble.

Sombra: gay. gets an absolute kick out of teasing/pissing everyone off. not even widowmaker is safe from her playful pestering, and honestly talon operatives must think she has a death wish because someone has ‘accidentally’ pointed a sniper rifle at her more than once. voted most likely to blackmail anyone’s ass into oblivion.

Symmetra: either gray asexual or aromantic. either way has an appreciative eye for the female form/femmes but is not interested in pursuing an actual relationship. has a friendship with hanzo based on their mutual appreciation for order and company in silence. she’s ocd and autistic, and likes winged things, such as birds and butterflies, but as something to be admired from afar rather than up close. voted best natural balance.

Torbjörn: straight. i don’t have a single torb headcanon that diverts from canon tbh. voted unexpectedly best dick game.

Tracer: CANON LESBIAN fully accepted into headcanon space, bless. also canonly fam with winston my tracer hc prayers have been answered. i don’t have much to add. voted most likely to be found napping randomly in strange places.

Widowmaker: doesn’t really have the emotional capacity for romance or sexuality since brainwashing, but thought she was straight pre-talon. ‘thought’ because she is actually bisexual, just never had a chance to explore that. still working on how her humanity eventually comes back to her. voted most likely to win a breath holding competition.

Winston: i draw the line at monkey shipping but him and tracer are great pals. voted most likely to binge watch future!netflix after a hard day and unintentionally empty out the entire kitchen by the second movie.

Zarya: gay as hell. the most she will ever admire about a man is his workout routine, and even then we know hers is more intense. has at some point arm wrestled everyone in overwatch and won. voted most likely to get hit by a truck and survive, with minimal injuries.

Zenyatta: asexual. i can’t seem to fit in any relationship that isn’t platonic for zen in my head space; he respects his brother mondatta deeply and genji as a friend and student. has an unexpectedly dry sense of humor and will deliver jokes in the flattest tone when it’s least expected. as a result, no one knows if he’s kidding or not and his punchlines are almost always followed by uncomfortable silence. voted most likely to be writing an epic in his spare time.

#hcs #tp #ovw #ive had this in drafts for months holy shit #old and unfinished but i might as well post it

2 notes · View notes

jennawynn · 8 years ago

Text

This is the other paper I did this semester. Please do not plagiarize. This paper is intended to be a literature review, not an actual study. Each study is summarized and analyzed, so feel free to use this to find sources for your own work.

Transgender Media Representation: Impact on Self and Society

Chapter One: Introduction

Purpose of Study

The primary purpose of this paper is to explore the connections between media representations of transgender people and their effects on transgender people and society. This is the first in a series of research efforts to determine whether more and better representations of transgender individuals in media will increase acceptance and combat transphobia in society.

There have been many studies about media representation of race and sexual orientation (Bonds-Raacke, Cady, Schlegel, Harris, & Firebaugh, 2007; Craig, McInroy, McCready, & Alaggia, 2015; Fitzgerald, 2010; Johnson, 2016; Mazur & Emmers-Sommer, 2002), but transgender people have been largely ignored, even in research focused on the queer community (Bonds-Raacke et al., 2007; Meyer, 1995, 2013). This study will help to fill the gap and extrapolate conclusions from those previous studies.

Significance of Study

Transgender people are relatively rare and not often encountered by most Americans which means that the first, and often only, experience many people have with transgender people is through media (Kelso, 2015). Cultivation theory and the Drench Hypothesis may explain how highly salient examples of transgender people like Buffalo Bill in The Silence of the Lambs and Tim Curry’s Dr. Frank-N-Furter of The Rocky Horror Picture Show can lead to an overwhelmingly negative opinion of real life transgender women, a culture of transphobia, and transphobic legislation. Proving a link between transgender media representation and widely held ideas about transgender people would offer an ethical incentive to improve transgender media representation on screen. As explained in the paper to follow, a decrease in cultural transphobia is in addition to the benefits of positive media representation such as improved mental health and identity construction (Bonds-Raacke et al., 2007; Johnson, 2016; Maris, 2016).

Definition of Terminology

Due to the contentious history of LGBTQ people and the sensitive nature of identity categories, the words used to describe people are often a figurative minefield to navigate. To be as consistent as possible, this paper will use a set of terms guided by the GLAAD and National Center for Transgender Equality (NCTE) media guides (“GLAAD media reference guide - Transgender,” 2011; NCTE, 2015).

Transgender is an adjective that describes people who have a gender identity, expression, or behavior different from that typically associated with their assigned sex at birth. Transsexual is a word that is not used as frequently anymore and should only be used for those people who specifically identify as such. It generally refers to people who have surgically transitioned or who would like to surgically transition. Trans is an inclusive term short for transgender or transsexual. Trans man is a transgender person who currently identifies as a man. Trans woman is a transgender person who currently identifies as a woman. Genderfluid is a sub-category of transgender that includes people who experience more than one gender and may “flow” from one to another, such as being a male one day and a female the next.

Gender identity is what a person’s internal feeling of gender is, or how male or female they feel. Gender expression is how a person presents themselves through dress, behavior, and other gender markers. Assigned female at birth (afab) or designated female at birth (dfab) is preferred to terms like “born female” or “biologically/genetically female.”

Transition is a set of steps a transgender person can take to live as the gender that better suits their gender identity. It may include changing their name, dressing or grooming differently, or requesting a pronoun change. Medical transition includes taking hormones and surgical transition or sex reassignment surgery (SRS). SRS is a set of surgeries that can give a transgender person the body that better suits their gender identity. They may include top surgery, breast augmentation or removal, or bottom surgery, which changes the genital configuration of the person. Medical and surgical transition should not be considered the marker for whether a person is or is not transgender. Gender dysphoria is a clinical definition that describes the discomfort some transgender people feel due to being transgender. Cisgender is a term that denotes people who are not transgender.

In all cases, the most specific category will be used, such as “bisexual” if the study referenced only studied bisexual people, but in cases where umbrella terms are used, this paper will use queer as an adjective to describe all people who are not cisgender and straight. Some people prefer to use LGBT or another variation of the acronym, but there are issues with it not being inclusive of other identity categories and its cumbersome nature when it is most inclusive. Queer is inclusive of all gender identities and sexual orientations that differ from heteronormative standards and indicates that all queer people are part of one community and avoids ranking or being dismissive of those identity categories that are not explicitly mentioned. The word is still considered a slur by some individuals, but has been largely reclaimed through intensive efforts on the part of queer activists.

Due to the clinical and pathologizing nature of the term homosexual, the terms gay or lesbian will be used for persons attracted only to members of the same gender. Monosexual is a term that differentiates people who are attracted to only one gender, whether gay or straight, from those attracted to more than one, such as bisexual or pansexual people, and the feeling that monosexuality is superior to other sexual orientations is referred to as monosexism. Additionally, the preferred term is sexual orientation rather than preference.

Heteronormative is a term describing the tendency for society to assume people are straight until the come out and imply that heterosexuality is the norm. Similarly, cisnormative would indicate the tendency to assume that people are cisgender unless otherwise noted, though this is often implied to be part of the term heteronormative. Cissexism is the assumption that cisgender is preferable or superior to transgender or the promotion of cisgender as “normal” or default. Transphobia is the fear, discrimination or hatred of transgender people while biphobia refers to the discrimination of bisexual people. Misgendering is a transphobic micro-aggression in which a person is intentionally referred to by the wrong name, gender, or pronouns to deny them the opportunity to claim their gender identity.

Organization of Paper

This paper will consist of three main sections, each subdivided in two. In the first, two main concepts that were present in multiple articles, Clark’s evolutionary model and the concepts of minority stress and coping, will be explained and explored to give framework and understanding to the final synthesis. Following this will be a sampling of literature that links media representation with mental health, identity construction, and society-level stereotypes and stigma. Finally, there is an overview of transgender representation in news and in fiction to set the stage for extrapolation and synthesis of the literature.

Chapter Two: Literature Review

Due to the lack of information specifically regarding transgender media representation’s effects, the literature sampled below constitutes the separate building blocks of research that need to be combined into a coherent argument. Most research on this topic is qualitative in nature and uses a variety of theories and methodologies.

Clark’s Evolutionary Stages of Minority Representation

In 1969, Cedric Clark developed a four-stage evolutionary theory about racial representation in the media. These stages, listed as non-recognition, ridicule, enforcer, and respect, were originally created to describe the general path of Black characters in the history of mass media (Fitzgerald, 2010). Fitzgerald’s article tested the theory to determine if it was suitable for other racial minorities, specifically Native American characters. Though the bulk of the article was written with Clark’s model in mind, there was also a reference to cultivation theory and Money’s “Seven stages of images of Native Americans” stereotype model as well as influence from important colonialist ideas (Fitzgerald, 2010).

The methodology included collecting as many Native American characters as possible, narrowing down the field based on selected attributes, such as importance to the narrative and type of media, then coded to determine under what category each would fall (Fitzgerald, 2010). The model was not perfect for Native Americans, much like it would not be a perfect fit for transgender characters, but it does provide a useful framework for analyzing trends (Fitzgerald, 2010).

In the first stage, minority characters are not even seen on screen, which amounts to a symbolic annihilation showing that those types of characters, and by extension those minorities, are unimportant (Fitzgerald, 2010). In the ridicule category, characters of the minority group are humiliated, such as in minstrel shows, or harmful stereotypes are used to dehumanize, infantilize, or otherwise degrade the group (Fitzgerald, 2010). Doing this on a wide scale allows less enthusiastic members of the dominant group to feel better about the oppression of that group because they are shown to be deserving of that fate through media (Fitzgerald, 2010).

The enforcer stage shows characters presented as the enforcers of social and cultural norms, especially as teachers, judges, and police officers (Fitzgerald, 2010). For example, Black and Native American characters were often portrayed as soldiers or police and frequently targeted other Black or Native American characters setting up the dichotomy between the “good Indian” who follows the colonial laws and the “bad Indian” who deserves to be locked up or shot (Fitzgerald, 2010). Finally, the last stage is respect in which the minority character is treated the same way as any other character (Fitzgerald, 2010).

Clark’s model was also briefly mentioned in Kelso’s article, discussed more thoroughly under “Media Representation’s Effect on the Self,” in which Kelso explained that it was insufficient for Branchik’s examination of gay men, but that it could be adjusted as necessary (Kelso, 2015). Clark’s model was insufficient to explain subtextual clues that could only be noticed by the targeted gay population, and was adjusted to show gay men as cutting edge fashion leaders rather than cultural enforcers (Kelso, 2015).

Minority Stress and Minority Coping

Minority stress was another commonality between some of the studies discussed and was based on the idea that queer people in a heteronormative society were subjected to chronic stress related to the stigma associated with their identity category (Meyer, 1995). The specific stressors included internalized homophobia, stigma, and actual discriminatory and violent experiences which were detailed by Meyer in his study (Meyer, 1995). He used societal reaction theory to address the effects of stigma and negative social attitudes and develop the study itself (Meyer, 1995).

Internalized homophobia was described as the way gay people, before they know they are gay, adopt society’s heterosexist and homophobic attitudes, and when they recognize their own queer identity, they begin to apply those negative attitudes towards themselves, resulting in self-loathing and disgust (Meyer, 1995). Negative stigma, the heterosexist and homophobic attitudes of society directed at gay people, is related to mental illness, self-esteem problems, and poor employment prospects (Meyer, 1995). Finally, at the time of this study, homosexuality was still illegal in 24 states and queer people had no discrimination protections, resulting in increased instances of violence, prejudice, and discrimination (Meyer, 1995).

A set of gay men were introduced to a longitudinal study in 1985 and the data for this study were taken from the 1987 data set (Meyer, 1995). The men were tested for psychological distress such as demoralization, guilt, suicidal ideation and behavior, AIDS related traumatic stress, and sex problems (Meyer, 1995). While internalized homophobia, perceived stigma, and actual negative experiences did predict psychological distress, the findings were inconsistent with expectations (Meyer, 1995). The concept of “minority coping” was suggested as a way to reconcile the two, stating that by actively coping with stigma, some minority members are protected from the effects of minority stress by providing social support, through affirmation and validation of group member identities, culture, and values, and by diminishing out-group stigma (Meyer, 1995). Simply put, minority coping is a way to explain how people who become fully entrenched in queer counter-culture can reduce the effects of homophobic society (Meyer, 1995).

Returning to the subject of minority stress nearly two decades later, Meyer expanded his research from gay men to include lesbians and bisexuals. In this study, he says that minority stress is an elaboration of social stress theory through which individuals experience excess stress related to the stigmatized social categories that they are identified with through their social positions (Meyer, 2013). Minority coping is also refined, conceptualized as the group’s ability to counteract stigma through self-enhancement (Meyer, 2013).

This study was conducted as a meta-textual survey of research literature to seek out evidence for minority stress using the indicators of stigma (expectations of rejection and discrimination), mental illness, and suicide (Meyer, 2013). The final determination is that people with queer sexualities do experience mental disorders and suicide at higher rates than their straight counterparts, however, the literature was limited in that it did not distinguish between gay and bisexual people (Meyer, 2013). While certain intersections of identity could provide for more minority coping opportunities, such as those for lesbians within feminist spaces, the failure to distinguish bisexuals from the gays and lesbians meant he was unable to corroborate with evidence that suggested bisexuals experienced more stressors and have greater mental health problems than lesbians and gay men (Meyer, 2013).

More specifically to media, however, another study was performed on both on and offline media and its effects on minority coping through a set of interviews conducted with grounded theory and utilizing resilience theory (Craig et al., 2015). While participants used media for escapism as their straight counterparts do, they also used various forms of media to help them feel stronger to deal with discrimination and stigma, to take a more proactive approach to coping by fighting back through engaging with content subversive to heteronormativity, and by connecting with community through media fandoms (Craig et al., 2015).

While most of the findings from this study are focused on social media support, there was evidence to show that positive media representation had an impact on not only helping queer people to recognize, negotiate, and accept their queer identities, but also as a way to find other queer people with whom they could create social bonds (Craig et al., 2015). Respondents stated that many of the queer people they knew watched the same media and it fostered a sense of community by engaging with the material together (Craig et al., 2015).

Media Representation’s Effect on the Self

A collection of studies focused on media representation’s effects on people, and these were split into two categories- those that affected individuals directly through mental health and identity formation and those that affected society at large through stereotyping and creating stigma. One study was created to determine how bisexual people view media representation of bisexuals and the way it intertwines with their own mental health and larger trends in society at large that will be discussed in the next section (Johnson, 2016). Though the study was specific to bisexuals, the links between media representation and their effects can be extrapolated to transgender media representation.

The article did not mention a theory directly, but it used lines of thought from cultivation theory (Johnson, 2016). For example, the survey asked questions about how much media the respondents consumed and whether they felt they had an impact on their lives (Johnson, 2016). It also used the concept of minority stress, addressed above, to explain why bisexuals reported higher levels of mental illness, suicidality, and substance abuse than those who are straight or gay (Johnson, 2016).

The main question was about whether media representation perpetuates a culture of biphobia that then creates minority stress in bisexuals, affecting their mental health (Johnson, 2016). She also attempted to separate various groups of bisexuals to ask intersectional questions about gender, race, and orientation. These questions were answered where possible, though Johnson stated that small sample sizes meant that some categories were unable to provide useful information (Johnson, 2016). The general outcome of the survey is that media representation can have some effect on mental health, either directly between the media and the bisexual individual or indirectly by continuing harmful stereotypes that perpetuate biphobia in monosexual audience members (Johnson, 2016).

Though the discussion was mostly focused on mental health, the open question at the end of the survey allowed respondents to discuss how powerful positive representation was for their own lives and self-identification (Johnson, 2016). The conclusion that media representation can have a direct impact on the mental health of minorities is key to understanding that television programs are not simply entertainment, but can have real world effects on already marginalized and damaged communities (Johnson, 2016).

In another study, Kelso collected and analyzed media representations, mostly from television, of “gender-variant” pre-adolescent children, so called because gender variance at a young age can ultimately result in queer genders or sexualities, or neither, so these children are not necessarily transgender (Kelso, 2015). This study was intended to fill a perceived hole in the research as most gender and sexuality studies focused on adults because most people consider gender and sexuality to be something that only presents around or after puberty (Kelso, 2015).

The author discussed a selection of theories like cultivation theory, social learning theory, social expectations theory, and social constructionist theory as well as Clark’s model of marginalized people’s representation (Kelso, 2015). The study focused primarily on implicit questions about how gender-variant children are represented in media, particularly television, but there were some limitations to the methodology because the study focused on the families of gender-variant children rather than the children themselves (Kelso, 2015). It may have been more useful to include interviews with gender-variant children as well as with adults who can recall how media representations helped them negotiate their queer identities as children.

Interestingly, this article ended with what could be considered a call to action for queer people, particularly those who had gender-variant childhoods, to create more content as well as academics who focus on media and queer issues to work harder to bring more representation to these children’s worlds due to the author’s belief in the importance of media representation in identity formation (Kelso, 2015).

A study covered more fully in the “Transgender Representation in Fiction” section also had participants claiming that seeing depictions of transgender people in media during their adolescence was emotionally and psychologically important to their own sense of acceptance and exploration of their identities (McInroy & Craig, 2015). The authors stated that media like television and film are usually the first exposure people have to transgender representations and issues which can lead to transgender youth having a positive or negative self-image based on the images they have seen in media before (McInroy & Craig, 2015).

This exploration of identity and affirmation is one focus of the study Maris performed through interviews and chat log analysis of Xena: Warrior Princess fan sites (Maris, 2016). Though the study is primarily about the confluence of television, internet, and fandom, its interest in this paper is focused in the way lesbian fans were able to prompt a queering of the television show itself (Maris, 2016).

In the interviews, fans explained that as a lesbian in the 1990s, they would seek out any form of media that validated their identities, or helped them to negotiate it and accept it though most media was heteronormative (Maris, 2016). Though Xena was not originally intended to be queer, lesbian fans saw the potential for subtext, read into it, and developed fan sites dedicated to the relationship between Xena and Gabrielle that were eventually taken into account by the producers who were eager to provide what nobody else on television was as a way to ensure these fans would continue to watch their show (Maris, 2016).

Though the study cites “Queer OS,” an intersection of queer theory, new media studies, and technology studies, as its theory, it is also better described as simple historical analysis of this confluence of technology and culture that allowed for a moment of intense cooperation between fans and creators as well as the beginning of modern, digital fandom (Maris, 2016). Most telling for this paper, however, was the sense of community engagement and identity affirmation provided by the fan sites (Maris, 2016).

Media Representation’s Effect on Society

Moving away from the impact of representation on individuals and towards a wider-scale impact, one article focused on whether popular representations of queer people can improve the overall reputation of queer people in society (Bonds-Raacke et al., 2007). First, the authors had to determine which gay and lesbian characters were thought of most frequently, indirectly testing the Drench Hypothesis, then tested how priming of positive and negative media portrayals affected straight people’s views of gay people in real life (Bonds-Raacke et al., 2007).

No theory was specifically mentioned for this study, but social learning theory was implied and the Drench Hypothesis was indirectly tested (Bonds-Raacke et al., 2007). The Drench Hypothesis states that a small number of ideal characters may have a disproportionate amount of influence due to large audience draws and that leading characters and those on popular shows will have more influence with more people than supporting characters or unpopular shows (Bonds-Raacke et al., 2007).

The study addressed whether priming participants by asking them to think of gay characters would affect their attitudes toward real gay people (Bonds-Raacke et al., 2007). They did so by asking different groups to think of any gay or lesbian character, or, for the control group, any single, unmarried character without orientation included in the question (Bonds-Raacke et al., 2007). Once the character was selected and recorded, they answered a series of Likert scale questions followed by questions about whether the character was an accurate portrayal, if the participant would want to be friends with the character, and so on (Bonds-Raacke et al., 2007).

In the end, it was determined that women were more accepting than men, positive portrayals of gay characters did result in more positive attitudes toward gay people, and that shows with large audiences and a positively portrayed gay main character can do more to change minds than explicit education (Bonds-Raacke et al., 2007). One avenue that could have been explored more was the fact that all the groups that thought of a gay character answered that the character was like real life gays and lesbians, whether positive or negative and more research should be conducted to determine if, in the absence of personal experience with queer people, media portrayals are assumed to be realistic even in comedic formats (Bonds-Raacke et al., 2007).

A similar study was intended to determine whether film portrayals of nontraditional families affected attitudes about nontraditional families and gay people (Mazur & Emmers-Sommer, 2002). The authors used social learning theory to guide the research and explain the shifts in attitudes as well as the preconceptions of participants. For example, one set of questions for participants included finding out how nontraditional their own family experiences were with the idea that exposure to those experiences would have made them more accepting of nontraditional families (Mazur & Emmers-Sommer, 2002).

To perform this study, two groups were formed and tested against one another to ensure comparability, then each was led to a room where they watched a movie, either Father of the Bride II which features white, heterosexual, traditional families, or Object of My Affection which featured interracial, single, queer, and unmarried relationships (Mazur & Emmers-Sommer, 2002).

There were four specific hypotheses with the results that women were more accepting of nontraditional families due to film than men, women were more accepting of gay people due to film than men, and the more nontraditional an individual’s upbringing was, the more likely they were to have positive perceptions of nontraditional families (Mazur & Emmers-Sommer, 2002). However, there was no significant difference in treatment and control groups on attitudes towards gay people in general (Mazur & Emmers-Sommer, 2002). This could be because the film chosen for the study did not feature an actual gay couple, but instead focused on a straight woman’s love of a gay man. If they had chosen a film where a gay couple raised a child together, it may have had more impact in that series of questions.

Johnson’s study, more fully detailed in the previous section, also had insights for larger society. Discussion circled around the issues of biphobic stereotypes that contribute to hostility towards bisexuals in both the larger heteronormative world as well as in queer spaces (Johnson, 2016). Bisexuals are often made to feel unwelcome in straight spaces because of their queer identity, but a prevalence of biphobic stereotypes among gay people means bisexuals face hostility in queer spaces for not being gay enough (Johnson, 2016; Meyer, 2013).

Transgender Representation in the News

After World War II, transgender people, then “transsexuals,” first captured the attention of mainstream America. Skidmore offered a qualitative study to deconstruct the way six transgender women’s stories were reported in the media, prioritizing white, middle-class femininity over other distinctions of class, race, and sexuality (Skidmore, 2011). She did not offer an explicit theory, but she did imply cognitive dissonance while discussing the emphasis on performed femininity to be accepted as female, and communication accommodation theory through the discussion of the transgender women distancing themselves from deviant behavior like homosexuality and cross-dressing to emphasize the validity of their female identities (Skidmore, 2011).

The author asked very specific questions about how Christine Jorgensen came to be characterized as a “good transsexual” instead of a sexual deviant, and how those strategies utilized the subjugation of other races, classes, and sexualities, especially considering that of the six women analyzed, she was the only one to have a positive reputation in news media (Skidmore, 2011).

Not only did the author suggest that white, middle-class femininity was key to Christine’s acceptance, she also discussed how hypermasculinization of Latino and Black men created additional difficulties for Latina and Black transgender women to be accepted as women, as well as the way Asian men are feminized and Asian women exotified for male sexual pleasure and how that affected each of the transgender women of color in their transition stories (Skidmore, 2011).

In 1993, a transgender man named Brandon Teena was raped and murdered, causing transgender issues to come to the front of American news media once more (Willox, 2003). One author attempted to explain the ways in which assumptions of bodily “truth” work to deny transgender subjectivity through the media surrounding Teena’s rape and murder, the movie Boys Don’t Cry, which is discussed in the next section, and the media resulting from the film itself. In all cases, the use of pronouns indicating that Brandon was “really a girl” or providing contextual uncertainty denied Brandon of his identity as a man (Willox, 2003).

The primary line of questioning in Willox’s article was about the ways in which gender and sexuality intersect and blur, and how the language of media enforces strict definitions and discards anything that challenges those definitions (Willox, 2003). The author used content analysis of articles of the real events, the film, and articles about the film to find these gender assumptions. She focused primarily on name and pronoun use, something now referred to as misgendering. Brandon Teena, a man who was assigned female at birth, was misgendered constantly in media (Willox, 2003). News articles and the film consistently referred to Brandon as “she,” pointing out that his body contained the truth of gender (Willox, 2003). It was also highlighted in the way Hilary Swank, the actress who portrayed Brandon in the movie Boys Don’t Cry, acted and was treated during filming and promotion. Swank talked about the way she felt her gender changed while filming and entertainment news outlets emphasized her femininity as if to distance her from the possibility that she and Brandon were the same (Willox, 2003).

There was a lot of confusion about whether Brandon was a “dyke,” a butch lesbian, a transgender man, or a transsexual man, which also made its way into the film where the director attempted to keep both readings of the character valid (Willox, 2003).

Another important moment for transgender people in news media came with Chelsea Manning’s coming out while imprisoned. Hackl, Becker, and Todd tracked how media outlets refer to a transgender woman who has already been in the news prior to coming out (Hackl, Becker, & Todd, 2016). Specifically, it tracked gendered pronouns and name usage of Chelsea Manning, formerly Bradley, after the famous solder/prisoner requested to be acknowledged as such and begin transition (Hackl et al., 2016). The article was mostly focused on presenting data rather than analysis with any given theory, but it raised questions about how mainstream media chose to cover transgender identity, how quickly media outlets shifted both representation through pronoun usage, and opinions towards transgender individuals as well as comparing coverage between American and international press (Hackl et al., 2016).

The authors coded all articles over a two-week span that mentioned keywords, specifically looking for name usage (Chelsea or Bradley), pronouns, and other gender markers like Mr. or Ms. (Hackl et al., 2016). While most newspapers continued to call Manning by her former name at first, it sparked conversation among newspapers and AP style advisers who had to decide whether and at what point a transgender person’s identity should be honored in print (Hackl et al., 2016). Many decided that beginning physical transition was the appropriate border between male and female, echoing the sentiments from earlier about the body being the “truth” of gender identity, though in a more plastic sense considering physical transition does not necessarily include SRS (Hackl et al., 2016).

With more and more transgender people like Laverne Cox and Caitlyn Jenner in the news, media outlets have started to create guidelines for reporting on transgender people and issues. The Associated Press, Reuters, and the New York Times all support using the name and pronouns preferred by transgender people or by their public gender presentation if they cannot be asked (“GLAAD media reference guide - AP, Reuters & New York Times style,” 2011).

Transgender Representation in Fiction

The previously mentioned rape and murder of Brandon Teena was retold in film as Boys Don’t Cry, starring Hilary Swank and directed by Kimberley Pierce (Rigney, 2003). It was the first mainstream American film in which the transgender character was not depicted as a monster or a villain, however, given the way the director framed Brandon’s gender, as being capable of being read as either a lesbian or a transgender man, this distinction is dubious (Rigney, 2003; Willox, 2003).

Rigney’s study was an overview of transgender characters in film and a critique of the way gender was treated in these films. She claimed that prior to Boys Don’t Cry, transgender characters were psychotic serial killers or comical representations more suited to Clark’s ridicule phase (Rigney, 2003). She focused primarily on the Buffalo Bill character from The Silence of the Lambs in which a transgender woman kidnapped and murdered women to skin them and create a woman-suit, but the killer was, in the end, thwarted by a cisgender woman thus emphasizing the superiority of the “natural” woman over the “pretender” and again firmly rooting the truth of gender in the body (Rigney, 2003).

To emphasize this point, Rigney turns to the scenes in Boys Don’t Cry in which Brandon’s tormentors constantly asked “are you a man or a woman?” and stripped him, forcing his girlfriend to admit that Brandon was a girl based on his pre-transition body (Rigney, 2003).

More recently, transgender characters have started making their way into more mainstream entertainment, including teen-targeted television like Glee and Degrassi. Sandercock qualitatively examined two transgender characters on these shows to show how non-normative genders are constructed and portrayed in fictional media by analyzing how these characters’ interactions with others are framed within the narrative (Sandercock, 2015). The author also used a “moving body” concept to inform parts of the article that involved the Degrassi character Adam who was a transgender man (Sandercock, 2015).

Central to the article were questions about systematic bias, transgender stereotypes, and how some gender presentations are privileged over others (Sandercock, 2015). The American comedy Glee and the Canadian drama Degrassi, both intended for teen audiences, were chosen both because they are the first to feature transgender characters in a prominent position within the narrative, and to compare the difference between American and Canadian cultures and how race and gender intersect (Sandercock, 2015). Unique Adams was a Black transgender woman while Adam Torres was a white transgender man. Unique’s identity sat at the intersection of racism, sexism, fatphobia, and cissexism while Adam’s was positioned in the relative privilege of being a straight white man whose oppression stems solely from his transgender identity (Sandercock, 2015).

The article flowed back and forth between method and analysis to cover several related narrative devices like romantic arcs, exposure scenes as dysphoria, and public restroom use and how they then frame the discussion of what it is to be transgender (Sandercock, 2015). For example, both shows used the narrative to support the transgender character in some situations, by allowing satirical or overly conservative characters to be mouthpieces for transphobia, however, the overall conclusion of the characters’ arcs usually ended with the comfort of cisgender characters and audiences being prioritized over the transgender characters’ (Sandercock, 2015). For Unique, one of the first instances of discrimination based on her transgender identity is when she wants to try out for the part of Rizzo in the school’s production of Grease, but after some outrage and concessions, Unique eventually pulls out of the performance (Sandercock, 2015). This echoes an arc in an earlier season when out gay man Kurt intentionally threw a competition to sing a traditionally female song at Regionals because of the pressure from social norms in a small town in Ohio (Sandercock, 2015).

Adam has a public restroom arc that is resolved by allowing him to use a single-occupant gender-neutral restroom instead of the men’s room because it would make cisgender male students uncomfortable for them to affirm his male identity (Sandercock, 2015). Unique also had a restroom arc that was resolved by making the Glee Club give up a fight regarding the right to expression so that Unique could have access to a single-occupancy faculty restroom (Sandercock, 2015). In both examples, the shows claim to be against transgender discrimination, but the framing of the narrative shows that cisgender comfort is more important than affirming the gender identity of the transgender characters (Sandercock, 2015).

McInroy and Craig also examined fictional representation, though their study was focused more on the perceptions of transgender characters by queer viewers (McInroy & Craig, 2015). The study also included social media representation of real transgender people who documented their transitions on YouTube, but for the purposes of this paper, it will be narrowed to discussion of the fictional aspect. A series of interviews were conducted with young adults who identified with a queer identity category to determine how transgender characters were usually portrayed, how those representations were framed, and whether media were transphobic (McInroy & Craig, 2015). This study was performed under the assumption that media consumers with queer identities would be more sensitive to media portrayal effects (McInroy & Craig, 2015).

General consensus among participants was that transphobia is a real issue in media, even more than homophobia (McInroy & Craig, 2015). They also complained that fiction often oversimplified sexuality and gender which served to reinforce heteronormative, cisnormative gender presentations, behaviors, and relationships (McInroy & Craig, 2015). Another aspect of transgender representation mentioned is that transgender women suffer from hypervisibility while transgender men tend to be invisible in media (McInroy & Craig, 2015).

Literature Summary

The literature discussed above is evidence that what is shown on television and film has real impact on the people watching. Positive representation can improve a person’s self-confidence and self-acceptance, can help a person realize they have a queer identity, and can help spread awareness and social acceptance of minorities. This is particularly important for queer people, including transgender individuals, as they suffer from higher rates of mental illness and suicide than cisgender straight people. Negative representation can cause fear, mental illness like depression, and even hatred of a marginalized group that can lead to discriminatory practices and legislation. Though the research to this point has been conducted with other marginalized groups in mind, transgender people stand to benefit and suffer from media representation as well.

Using an adjusted version of Clark’s model, the history of transgender characters in film and television is easily mapped. After the Hollywood Production Code of the 1930s outlawed queer characters, they were banished from the screen in the non-recognition phase (Benshoff & Griffin, 2006; Russo, 1987). When transgender characters returned, it was as psychopathic murderers or ridiculous jokes about mentally ill men in dresses (Benshoff & Griffin, 2006; Rigney, 2003). While transgender characters are not often enforcing colonialism or white supremacy, representations like Christine Jorgensen show how people were much more accepting of the transgender individuals who fit a certain image of white, middle-class heterosexuality (Skidmore, 2011). While a queer character can never be “just like any other character” and still be visibly queer, the final stage should include the ability to be true to the wide variety of real life queer people and not just those who are palatable to middle-class values.

The history of transgender representation does show a clear trend toward acceptance and normalization. News outlets are reporting given gender identity rather than seeking contrary ideas of bodily “truth” and transgender characters are now shown as members of a community instead of villains and pitiful victims. More characters shown on mainstream shows and films will only increase acceptance and decrease transphobia as people will be better able to identify with and sympathize with transgender individuals. As mainstream cisgender Americans see more transgender women as women and transgender men as men, stigma and support for transphobic legislation should decrease.

The future of research in this area includes studying the communities that develop around media properties that include queer and transgender characters and storylines, studying the cultural attitudes that lead to discriminatory practices and legislation, and performing the research stated above with transgender communities as applicable. Media representation has the power to educate and change minds. That knowledge should be used to improve the lives of transgender people by providing more and more positive mainstream representation.

References

Benshoff, H. M., & Griffin, S. (2006). Queer images: A history of gay and lesbian film in America. Lanham, MD: Rowman & Littlefield Pub.

Bonds-Raacke, J. M., Cady, E. T., Schlegel, R., Harris, R. J., & Firebaugh, L. (2007). Remembering gay/lesbian media characters: Can Ellen and Will improve attitudes toward homosexuals? Journal of Homosexuality, 53(3), 19–34.

Craig, S. L., McInroy, L., McCready, L. T., & Alaggia, R. (2015). Media: A catalyst for resilience in lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer youth. Journal of LGBT Youth, 12(3), 254–275. https://doi.org/10.1080/19361653.2015.1040193

Fitzgerald, M. R. (2010). “Evolutionary stages of minorities in the mass media”: An application of Clark’s model to American Indian television representations. Howard Journal of Communications, 21(4), 367–384. https://doi.org/10.1080/10646175.2010.519651

GLAAD media reference guide - AP, Reuters & New York Times style. (2011, September 11). Retrieved November 30, 2016, from http://www.glaad.org/reference/style

Hackl, A. M., Becker, A. B., & Todd, M. E. (2016). “I am Chelsea Manning”: Comparison of gendered representation of Private Manning in U.S. and international news media. Journal of Homosexuality, 63(4), 467–486. https://doi.org/10.1080/00918369.2015.1088316

Johnson, H. J. (2016). Bisexuality, mental health, and media representation. Journal of Bisexuality, 16(3), 378–396. https://doi.org/10.1080/15299716.2016.1168335

Kelso, T. (2015). Still trapped in the U.S. media’s closet: Representations of gender-variant, pre-adolescent children. Journal of Homosexuality, 62(8), 1058–1097. https://doi.org/10.1080/00918369.2015.1021634

Maris, E. (2016). Hacking Xena: Technological innovation and queer influence in the production of mainstream television. Critical Studies in Media Communication, 33(1), 123–137. https://doi.org/10.1080/15295036.2015.1129063

Mazur, M. A., & Emmers-Sommer, T. M. (2002). The effect of movie portrayals on audience attitudes about nontraditional families and sexual orientation. Journal of Homosexuality, 44(1), 157.

McInroy, L. B., & Craig, S. L. (2015). Transgender representation in offline and online media: LGBTQ youth perspectives. Journal of Human Behavior in the Social Environment, 25(6), 606–617. https://doi.org/10.1080/10911359.2014.995392

Meyer, I. H. (1995). Minority stress and mental health in gay men. Journal of Health and Social Behavior, 36(1), 38–56. https://doi.org/10.2307/2137286

Meyer, I. H. (2013). Prejudice, social stress, and mental health in lesbian, gay, and bisexual populations: Conceptual issues and research evidence. Psychology of Sexual Orientation and Gender Diversity, 1(S), 3–26. https://doi.org/10.1037/2329-0382.1.S.3

Rigney, M. (2003). Brandon goes to Hollywood: “Boys Don’t Cry” and the transgender body in film. Film Criticism, 28(2), 4–23.

Russo, V. (1987). The celluloid closet: Homosexuality in the movies (Revised edition). New York: Harper & Row.

Sandercock, T. (2015). Transing the small screen: Loving and hating transgender youth in Glee and Degrassi. Journal of Gender Studies, 24(4), 436–452. https://doi.org/10.1080/09589236.2015.1021307

Skidmore, E. (2011). Constructing the “good transsexual”: Christine Jorgensen, whiteness, and heteronormativity in the mid-twentieth-century press. Feminist Studies, 37(2), 270–300.

Willox, A. (2003). Branding Teena: (Mis)representations in the media. Sexualities, 6(3–4), 407–425. https://doi.org/10.1177/136346070363009

#pbw #media representation #transgender media representation #wynn does anthropology #this time for a media studies course #this one is 27 pages with references #it's a big one

6 notes · View notes

beautysupply101 · 6 years ago

Text

Reasons LGBTQ Therapy San Rafael CA Could Be Of Great Benefit To You

By Michael Jackson

If your sexuality makes you queer, chances are that you will face more open and implied discrimination than other straight people. Even though the queer community was founded in 1968, the culture at present still has individuals with transphobia, biphobia and homophobia. The judgment and outright aggression you experience on a regular basis can trigger other concerns such as depression, anxiety and mood disorders. If you want to benefit from LGBTQ therapy San Rafael CA is an excellent place to begin your research for the best counselors. Accepting your realities alone does not mean that you will be able to effectively handle all the frustrating scenarios that life throws at you. For this reason, you cannot afford not to invest in continuing therapy. Among the top reasons why you need to schedule for sessions is because people will always ask questions about your junk. To date, there is a cultural fascination of what the genitalia of queer people looks like. Someone will not shy away from walking straight for you and asking what is down under. Usually, this is not a question they will ask other people whose sense of personality and gender match with their sex of birth. Therapy will keep you mentally healthy even as your parents deny the reality. Being bisexual, homosexual or lesbian is not a phase, not to mention that you will not snap out of feeling as though you are trapped in a body that does not belong to your gender. Life is hard enough even without dealing with loved ones who cannot accept who you really are. A competent therapist can help you cope with this. Queer people will always have a challenge coming out. They will struggle telling their loved ones about their sexual orientation and they also have a struggle coming out to friends, coworkers and other people they relate with constantly. It is uncomfortable and exhausting to constantly have to define yourself and possibly even defend your sexuality. For you to maintain your sanity even as your mother insists on introducing your romantic partner as your friend, you must constantly visit a therapist for counseling. Insisting that your fiancee is your roommate is the worst kind of microaggression. You need to learn how to deal with such situations, before they negatively impact every meaningful relationship you ever have. You need LGBT therapy because people never stop asking who between you and your partner is the man. Romantic dynamics have changed across the board and today, gender roles are considered old fashioned irrespective of the setting. You need counseling to maintain your sanity because even with these changes, people still insist on applying old fashioned rules to queer relationships. LGBTQ therapy is a must if your straight pals keep setting you up with the few gay friends they know. Gay people are not different from straight people and you can certainly not fall in love with just about every queer person you meet. A reliable therapist will offer you an avenue to express your frustrations and work through them.

About the Author:

When there is a need to search for additional info on lgbtq therapy San Rafael CA locals should visit our official website to get the full details. Take a look at this homepage at http://bit.ly/2ASswwQ right away!

http://bit.ly/2L69V7R

0 notes

dudence-blog · 7 years ago

Text

Dear Dudence for 1 December 2017

And we are now in December! Christmas time! Trees, lights, inflatable penguins! And drama! Soooooooooooo much drama. It is the season for sharing mulled wine with people you like, and who like you back. So grab a mug of warmed wine, cider, or chocolate and let’s see what sort of problems I can make worse for people I don’t know!

I live in a close-knit neighborhood. In October, my neighbor’s 16-year-old daughter ran over my family’s beloved cat. She was driving irresponsibly and texting, and she was horrified by what she’d done. I have tried not hating her, and I’ve tried telling myself that there’s always a risk that a cat allowed outdoors will be hit by a car. But I’m angry, and the best thing for me now is to keep my distance from the girl and her family. The parents won’t back off, though. Their daughter is traumatized, and they want me to comfort her.

Dear Cat Killer, unexpectedly losing a beloved pet sucks. And to have it happen because of the negligent actions of a person you need to continue interacting with is doubly sucky. I’m going to disagree with Newdie though about it not being awful for you to continue to want to emotionally punish your neighbor’s daughter. You don’t have to forgive her for her actions; she killed a member of your family afterall. But is “making a child feel terrible and refusing any kindness towards her,” really the hill you wish to die on? You say you live in a closely-knit neighborhood, so here’s how it’s going to play out. You’re going to continue to hold this over your neighbor and their daughter. They’re going to talk with your other neighbors and, eventually, it will come around to the point where you’re being petty, vindictive, and emotionally cruel to not move on. It was “just a cat” and you did “know what could happen” if you let it roam outside in an area where cars traveled. In the not-too-distant future you’re going to lose the very loose and sandy moral high ground on which you’re standing, and it’s not going to be fun for you. I recommend you think long and hard about what sort of acts of contrition you want to see from your neighbor’s kid as a way to earn your forgiveness, and when she achieves that provide it. At the end of the day the girl is going to eventually forgive herself and move on. Whether you do or you allow this anger and resentment to eat away at you and your relations with your neighbors is up to you.

I’m a single woman with a large extended family. I cope with the enormous project of buying Christmas presents by getting them very early. Everyone in my family knows this; it’s the family joke that I have all my presents purchased by Halloween. My brother’s wife “Jean” sent out a group text last week saying they have decided not to exchange gifts with the extended family and would only be getting gifts for each other and their own kids. They have five kids, both together and via previous marriages, so I understand, but would have appreciated more notice. My mom asked what I was going to do, and I said I’d keep the gifts for the kids but return the ones I got for my brother and Jean. Unfortunately, my dad, the family big mouth, overheard us and told my brother.

Dear Christmas Gift Drama, Jean is not right. Christmas is not about gift-giving. It’s about celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ. That we have turned it into a celebration of eating, basketball, giving and exchanging gifts is ancillary to whatever the “meaning” of the holiday is. Grown-ass people getting their panties in a wad because their grown-ass sibling didn’t get them something after they said they’re not getting the sibling something are pathetic. You are morally and ethically in the right to return their gifts. Send them a nice card with a friendly and caring message of love for the holidays. Although do send the kids their gifts; it’s not their fault their mother acted rudely.

How do I cut off my seemingly well-intentioned family? My whole life, my little sister was the favorite. Growing up, other adults even commented on it to me, which actually helped because it showed me it wasn’t all in my head. On the outside they are a well-meaning Southern family, but to me they are suffocating.

Dear Just Want Out, you’re not going to be able to ghost your own family. You’re, eventually, going to need to tell them why you’re ignoring them. Or, you’re going to tell someone why and they’re going to tell them. So, sack-up and tell them you’re not going to be joining them because it’s not in the budget, whether due to money or time. Send a polite card wishing them well for the holiday and move on with your life. Hit “ignore” on the Family Gift Wish List text as well.

I have been struggling with my son for a long time and just don’t know how to get through to him. He started out being very impulsive as a young child, not thinking things through, getting aggressive with other children, and not listening. Once he entered grade school the aggressive behavior toned down significantly, thank goodness, and he appeared to be listening to his teachers. At home is a different story. I’ve been divorced from my son’s father since he was 2-1/2 years old but up until recently he still maintained contact with him. I attributed many of his behaviors to his father’s leniency and lack of discipline. However, my son is nine now and no longer has contact with his father, who is a deadbeat.

Dear At Wits’ End, oof. This is a heart-breaking letter on several levels. There’s a whole lot of hurt, pain, and problems in not a lot of space, and much of them are far beyond the capabilities of NuPru or me to address. As much as I’d like to join in NuPru’s condemnation of your actions and the consequence it has had on your son I’m not going to. Parenting is hard, single-parenting harder still, and even the best, most wonderful, and well-intentioned people can fail when pushed hard enough. Hitting your kid in anger is a terrible thing to do, your 9 year old cannot have done anything to justify such violence, it’s not going to result in the behavior you want, and will likely get you seriously hemmed up by the law. Maybe she’s right that your actions have left your son unable to form friendships or fail to hit developmental milestones, but it’s also possible there are some underlying medical issues which could be at play, and the healing power of “and” is always at work. Certainly your actions and attitude towards him aren’t helping, but without identifying that possibility you’re going to be swimming against the stream even more than you are now. You need to get yourself some help to deal with your anger and stress. You need to get your son some help as well; his school district almost certainly has some resources to identify if he has a developmental issue. And it’s not likely his teachers haven’t noticed his behavior, so it’s probably something someone there is considering. After you get yourself some help for the anger and control issues it might be worth trying to reestablish a relationship with the boy’s father. That he became a “deadbeat” while you were belittling his parental choices and escalating the emotional and physical abuse of your shared child might be connected.

I’m a trans woman who’s been in a relationship with a queer cis girl for a couple years. It has slowly come out that my partner wants to “date people who have vaginas.” She’s told me before that she sees herself as having been historically deprived of the ability to date people with vaginas because society has primed her relationship life to involve “people who have penises.” I feel hurt by this analysis, because I honestly have never seen any societal forces compelling anyone to date trans people like me. This line of logic also seems disingenuous given that she was raised in a cis lesbian household. I feel hurt and inadequate. When we have conversations about this, the conversation always unfolds with her in the role of the victim. This is a difficult dynamic to escape, because she is better than me at using sound social justice rhetoric.

Dear Just Want to Feel Normal, you’re not taking this too personally. Once we strip away all the gender identifying text this is about your significant other no longer being attracted (as attracted?) to you, wanting to date other people, but wanting to keep you around for their own satisfaction. Oh, and there’s also a bit of mind-fuckery going on where she’s trying to blame you for not wanting to be her doormat. Your girlfriend can deploy all the social justice rhetoric she wishes, but it doesn’t change that she’s behaving like an asshole. It sucks when someone you love reveals they no longer feel the same, and it’s a suck-multiplier when they exploit your own feelings of inadequacy and emotional vulnerabilities at the same time. Just because you’re trans doesn’t mean you deserve to be treated like your hopefully-soon-to-be-ex-girlfriend is treating you. You deserve to have a supporting, caring partner who is totally into you, and I hope you find them.

I recently became good friends with “Absalom” and “Richard.” Richard is queer and non-binary but very masculine-presenting, while Absalom is a straight cis man (I myself am a gay cis man). When we first became friends, Richard and I both developed small crushes on Absalom before we knew his sexuality. We both subtly and innocently flirted with him a couple times. After Absalom offhandedly mentioned he was straight, I backed off, no big deal.

Dear Looking for Straight Talk, much like Wanting to Feel Normal, let’s go ahead and strip out the genders, orientation, etc. Bottom line is one of your friends is romantically pressuring one of your other friends in a way which the object of the affections doesn’t seem to appreciate, is noticed and negatively remarked upon by another group of friends, and which is making you uncomfortable. You passed the point where Richard’s behavior was “not OK” a while ago. Actually, you know what, let’s call him Dick. Absalom is not enthusiastically consenting to Dick’s come-ons and Dick is either not picking up on this, thinks he just needs to apply the right amount of pressure to make Absalom come around, is getting his jollies out of making Absalom have to take his unreciprocated advances, or the healing power of “and”. Let’s put the genders, orientation, etc back into the question. Despite what Kevin Spacey says, being non-heteronormative isn’t carte-blanche to behave boorishly. Honestly, had this situation involved a man making unwelcome advances towards a woman Bad Pru would have been much more straight-forward in her advice and the condemnation of Dick’s behavior. So I will. What you’re describing is the sort of sexual impropriety we really shouldn’t tolerate. Let Dick know it’s “Not Okay”, or, preferably, let Dick know that he’s being a fucking creep.

0 notes

russellthornton · 7 years ago

Text

Preggophilia: A Bumpie Fetish Most Moms-to-Be Have No Idea About

Maybe you’re wondering why if you’re pregnant, why men look at you with a twinkle in their eyes. Well, it’s called preggophilia.

When someone’s pregnant, people’s go-to move is to touch the baby bump. They wanna feel the baby move. They also want to know how pregnant people have sex, but never mind. On the other side, you have people which take this to a different level of attraction and interest. This is when it’s called preggophilia.

If you post your baby bump on social media, you’re probably getting a stream of likes, but there are different reasons why people take interest in your photo. When it comes to pregnancy, people’s boundaries seem to lower as their curiosity and excitement overcome them.

What does preggophilia mean?

Listen, there’s an endless amount of fetishes that people enjoy. For some it’s feet, for others, it’s peeing on people—the list literally never ends. Now that you’ve seen the word preggophilia, it’s time to really find out what it means.

#1 What is preggophilia? This fetish, preggophilia, is the sexual attraction to pregnant women. Now, this isn’t just about the baby bump. People become turned on by lactation or specific stages of pregnancy.

It’s really quite individual when it comes to what turns someone on. However, in the role-playing community, there are many people who are into male pregnancies, gang bang impregnation, and alien egg impregnation. Of course, this is just role-playing. [Read: 15 effortlessly sexy role playing ideas for the shy]

#2 It isn’t just for men. You probably think preggophilia is strictly reserved for the male community, but you’re wrong. Women, as well, can also be into preggophilia.

Remember that sexual attraction and stimulation are really personal and different for everyone. So yes, it’s not only for men. Sure, the female preggophilia community isn’t as large, but it still exists. [Read: What it means to have a lesbian fantasy as a straight woman]

#3 Pregnancy is a hormonal whirlwind. This is also another reason why preggophilia is what it is. When a woman is pregnant, her body constantly changes and that goes the same for her hormones. It also makes her sexual, pregnant women can become extremely horny without being able to control it. This is what turns people on, the fact that this woman is uncontrollably horny.

#4 Pregnancy symbolizes she’s taken. When a woman is pregnant, whether she’s single or taken, it does visually show she’s taken. If she has another man’s child, it represents her commitment to the relationship which makes her desirable. Why? Because you can’t have her. This concept of pregnant women being desired by people is what turns some people on. It’s the idea you want what you can’t have.

#5 There’s an argument on it being sexist. Now, we all understand that childbirth is a natural process for women. By her becoming pregnant, she devoted herself to create a child and therefore she cannot be viewed as sexual during that time period.

Whether I agree with this or not is beside the point. Since women are the only ones able to carry children, the sexualization of them during pregnancy is argued to be sexist. [Read: 19 inspiring male feminist ideas from men around the world]

#6 Do not confuse preggophilia with pedophila. Many people feel that men who practice preggophilia, the attraction to pregnant women, are actually attracted to the child in the womb. This is completely false. There are various components to pregnancy that can turn a man on: lactation, the female body changing. It isn’t based on the baby growing inside her.

#7 Preggophilia is not wrong. The only time preggophilia is wrong *or really any sexual activity* is when it’s not consensual. If the pregnant woman engages in it on her own will, then there’s nothing wrong with it. Now, if someone is hacking into pregnant women’s computers and stealing their photos, yes, that’s wrong.

#8 If you don’t want to be subjected to it, control it. If you post pictures of your pregnancy on Instagram and Facebook, there’s nothing wrong with that. However, make sure that your profiles are properly secured. If you don’t care who sees your photos, then leave your profiles public. However, if you’re not wanting your photos to be used for preggophilia, then make your profiles private.

#9 Preggophilia is respectful. It isn’t based on the idea that pregnant women are bad or dirty, it’s quite the opposite. Those that practice preggophilia have a very high respect for pregnant women.

They’re fascinated by the concept of pregnancy, the strength of a woman, and the beauty of the human body changing. If, as a pregnant woman, you’re not comfortable with preggophilia, it’s perfectly fine. Just understand preggophilia isn’t negative. [Read: 9 amazing benefits of having sex while pregnant]

#10 People have fetishes for various reasons. You may be wondering why someone would have this fetish. Well, fetishes occur for many reasons. It could be that they had an experience which really opened their mind to preggophilia or could be a traumatic event, in which it was used as a coping mechanism.

[Read: 20 sexual fetishes bordering on crazy]

Now that you know about preggophilia, if you are into it or know someone who’s into it, you’re up-to-date on everything you need to know. Pregnancy is a beautiful part of life, the only difference is that pregnancy, for some people, turns them on.

The post Preggophilia: A Bumpie Fetish Most Moms-to-Be Have No Idea About is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

0 notes

russellthornton · 8 years ago

Text

Heteronormativity: 14 Negative Consequences of a Sad Reality

Everyone wants to be accepted. And while our world is more accepting than it used to be, there’s no denying that heteronormativity still exists.

Maybe you’re straight, maybe you’re gay, or bi, or even sexually fluid. Whatever your sexual orientation, it’s obvious to everyone who isn’t living under a rock that being straight is the “preferred” way to be – if for no other reason, because you don’t get criticized or rejected for it.

What is heteronormativity?

Even though the term has been around since 1991 *created by Michael Warner as part of ‘queer theory’* not everyone has heard of it. And lately, it seems to be more common because of all the changes that have happened in our society over the last few decades.

According to Wikipedia.com, heteronormativity is defined as, “the belief that people fall into distinct and complementary genders *man and woman* with natural roles in life. It assumes that heterosexuality is the only sexual orientation or only norm, and states that sexual and marital relations are most *or only* fitting between people of opposite sexes… ”

Whew! That was a mouthful, huh? Okay, in plain English, it basically means that if you aren’t comfortable as either a man or woman, and not attracted to the opposite sex, then there’s something wrong with you.

Woah. Not cool, right?

Right.

While people in the older generations are probably having heart attacks just thinking about the fact that some people are gay, bisexual, or transgendered, the younger people are much more accepting. But still, that’s not to say there aren’t a lot of bigots under the age of 30. [Read: 9 sure ways to tell if you’re really bi-curious]

What heteronormativity does in our society

Well, I guess it depends on who you ask. An 80-year-old bigot would say yes. They would probably say something like it’s destroying the traditional family. Or that “those people” are mentally ill. Again, not cool.

But most of us non-judgmental people do think heteronormativity is bad. And here are the reasons why:

#1 It suppresses groups of people. I know most of us weren’t alive during the civil rights movement, but we’ve all heard about it. If you have never seen the movie The Help, you should watch it. It’s a glimpse into how African Americans were treated back in the mid-20th century.

Separate bathrooms, separate areas of restaurants and buses, and just overall treatment as if they were sub-human. It was awful. The same can be said for women at a time in our history.

I mean, it was less than a 100 years ago that women weren’t even allowed to vote and were literally considered property of men if they were married *or property of their father if they weren’t*. [Read: Male privilege – What it is and what it looks like in real life]

#2 It promotes hate. Assuming that there is ONLY one right and that everything else is wrong leads to hate. If a person doesn’t fit into someone’s vision of what is “right,” then the emotions, thoughts, and actions that result against that person can be horrendous.

Hello? Anyone remember the Holocaust from history class? Yeah, it wasn’t a good time to be Jewish in Germany in the 1930s and 1940s. And while that’s an extreme case, so many people harbor hate against people who are different than they are.

#3 It separates us. Most religions of the world promote loving one. Although that obviously is very rare in this world – unfortunately.

People are almost always looking to find ways that we are different, and not how we are SIMILAR. Because believe me, we are all humans. And that means we all have the same basic needs.

But if we voluntarily separate ourselves because of hate, well, that’s just downright sad. Humanity should be coming together, not ripping ourselves apart. [Read: How to feel happy – 13 strategies for instant happiness]

#4 It perpetuates ignorance. One of the reasons for bigotry and hate is ignorance. For example, many people are against transgendered people using the public bathroom of their choice.

One of the common arguments for this is that, “Our children use those restrooms, and who knows what they will do to them?!” In other words, they are implying that all transgendered people are sick, twisted, child molesters. Ummm, no.

I have known several transgendered people, and they are just as normal and kind as most people. So, if we don’t learn about people who are different than we are, then the ignorance just keeps going… and going… from generation to generation. [Read: Do you know someone who is guilty of Cissexism – Even you?]

Consequences of heteronormativity on people who aren’t heterosexual

All of these expectations, hate, and suppressions take a toll on people who do not fit into heteronormativity in our society. And that’s wrong. Here are some of the consequences of living in a culture that constantly criticizes and rejects anything outside of what most people think is “normal.”

#1 Low self-esteem. Okay, we all know what it feels like to feel bad about ourselves, right? I mean, about 0.00000001% of the population looks like a super model.

But so many girls look in the mirror and judge themselves for being “fat.” But imagine if you were constantly getting judged just for being who you are! Yep. Hello, low self-esteem! Ugh. So sad. [Read: 10 signs of low self-esteem and 5 ways to overcome it quickly]

#2 Confusion. If you’re heterosexual, can you imagine how difficult and confusing it would be to be gay, bisexual, or transgendered? Most of us take for granted that we are comfortable in our own body. And/or that we are sexually attracted to the opposite sex.

But how would it feel if you didn’t feel like that… for as long as you can remember? Confusion is an understatement.

#3 Rejection. When you are different than most people, rejection is inevitable. Because of hatred or ignorance, lots of people don’t support people who are not in the “social norm.”

Whether it’s their family, peers, or church members, so many people who are not heterosexual feel like many people reject them – just for being who they are. Others might even try to change them. [Read: How to know if you are gay – All the signs you can’t ignore]

#4 Bullying. Bullying has existed probably since the caveman days. But, it’s even worse now because people don’t just have to do it face-to-face anymore. It’s a lot easier to sit behind your computer or phone and spew out hateful comments to people who don’t fall onto the heteronormativity spectrum.

And bullies also like to gang up on the ones who are perceived as “weak” or “different,” so yeah. Non-heteronormative people are a prime target.

#5 Social shunning. And it doesn’t just have to be the bullies who don’t treat non-heterosexual people well. Just because people aren’t actively bullying other people doesn’t mean that they are welcoming them with open arms either.

Sort of like the “don’t ask, don’t tell” rule. They look the other way, put their heads in the sand, and just don’t really acknowledge their existence. As you probably guessed, this is not a fun way to live. [Read: 15 ridiculous lesbian myths you probably still believe]

#6 Fear. So, if you don’t fall on the heteronormativity scale, then you might not want to be around a lot of people. In fact, you might even fear them if you have been rejected, bullied, and shunned by enough people. Heck, who wouldn’t have fear if that happened so frequently?

#7 No hope for the future. What if your parents have shunned you? Or your church? Or your friends? If someone feels like they have no social support, how can the feel hopeful about the future? And then their imagination goes wild thinking that perhaps all people in the world will reject them *which isn’t true*.

#8 Depression. I’m not saying that all people who aren’t in the realm of heteronormativity are depressed. But let’s face it – with all the horrible bigots and phobic people out there, it would difficult to not feel sad a lot. When people are beaten down so often, they will just emotionally shut down. [Read: 10 Things a woman should know when dating a bisexual man]

#9 Self-harm. Again, not everyone will harm themselves. But there are a lot of people in the world who do. Whether it’s cutting their arms or legs or some other form of self-harm, they are desperately trying to find a way to cope.

And as crazy as it sounds to most people, feeling the physical pain takes their mind off of the emotional and mental pain inflicted on them by the people on the heteronormativity spectrum. [Read: Turning emotional pain into physical – Why do people cut?]

#10 Suicide. God willing, most people won’t get to this desperate point. But as we all know, suicide is a real problem – especially when people are constantly bullied and rejected. And how sad is it to think that it can be prevented.

While there are lots of reasons people commit suicide *including brain chemical imbalances*, social stigma and rejection is one of them. But it doesn’t have to be that way.

[Read: The perks and unperks of coming out of the closet]

Heteronormativity is a reality – a sad reality. But it is real nonetheless. So, the next time you talk to someone who doesn’t fall into that category, be kind, gentle, loving, and empathetic.

The post Heteronormativity: 14 Negative Consequences of a Sad Reality is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

0 notes