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drdemonprince · 3 months ago

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I grew up with abstinence-only sex education, and it did a real number on me. But I’ve shaken off enough of my old cultural programming to realize that the transmission of bacteria and viruses is a thing that sometimes just happens when animals come together, no matter how stringently we might try to prevent it.

I have gotten urinary tract infections when a stray microbe found its way into my urethra after sex. Lube and bodily fluids have disturbed my vagina’s pH and caused a yeast infection many times. So has wearing a bathing suit for too long without drying it, yet another “risk” worth the pleasures of swimming along the sea wall.

Once or twice I’ve had an outbreak of cold sores, just like 80% of humans. If I’m like most people, I probably caught oral herpes when I was very young, sharing a sippy cup or rolling around at a sleepover.

None of this makes me disgusting, irresponsible, evil, or dangerous to others. It just makes me a living creature that exists in close contact with other creatures. I believe I have a responsibility to get tested regularly, to alert people who have been close to me when I get sick, and to use preventative measures like condoms, PreP, vaccines, toys, and masks to prevent the spread of infections as best I can. But I never imagine I can lead a life without risk — or that such a life would even be desirable.

There is no such thing as completely “safe” sex. A friend of mine can’t use condoms because they give her bacterial vaginosis. She chooses instead to fuck raw and take PreP and get anything else she catches treated. A guy I know who masks and tests religiously caught COVID while fisting someone (with a gloved hand!) at an air-filtered party. HPV is so prevalent that most sexual wellness clinics don’t bother testing for it, and can’t do much for a patient if they do have it. Our bodies are teeming at all times with various endemic viruses and microbes that we will never have the power to purge.

Then there are the possible costs of not having sex — vaginal atrophy, pelvic floor weakening, reduced access to endorphins, loneliness, touch starvation, the despair of harboring dreams that one never dares try. I can’t decide for anyone else which dangers loom the largest, but for me a gonorrhea shot is a fair trade for the hours of leg-cramping, bed-staining, hypno-kinky sex that led to it. There’s no guarantee that the next time I have sex it will be anywhere near as much fun, but the potential keeps me throwing the dice.

I hear quite frequently from sexually inexperienced Autistic people who crave an intimate connection, but desperately wish to remain responsible and “safe.” They want there to be a set of iron-tight rules they can follow that will guarantee they remain a virtuous person who never hurts anyone’s feelings, and never catches any sexually transmitted infection.

I understand why they want someone to impose order onto an unpredictable, terrifying world. But I can’t give that certainty to them, nor can anyone. All I can suggest is that they be honest with themselves about what they want, inform themselves of the costs and benefits to pursuing their desires, and then venture forward — proudly welcoming the correct risks into their life, rather than trying to avoid any risks at all.

Life is nothing but a negotiation of risk. If a person has gender dysphoria and they want to combat it, they must risk a transition they could one day regret. If an abolitionist wants to take a stand against the police state, they must plan for the possibility of arrest or political repression. When we open our hearts to love, we expose ourselves to grief — our partners will keep changing and growing, sometimes away from us. Each step that we take forward in life closes off potential paths. There is no avoiding this.

Instead of chasing after the false promise of “safety,” trying to remain completely insulated from harm and challenge forever, we must get better at admitting risk into our lives.

I wrote about all about the messy business of risk mitigation, and how the pursuit of perfect safety is used to justify isolation, theft of bodily autonomy, and political repression. It's free to read (or have narrated to you by the app!) at drdevonprice.substack.com

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butchpeace · 6 months ago

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Pelvic Floor Health for Detrans Women

A disclaimer before we start: I am not a doctor, a PT, or an expert of any kind, I just noticed there was a lack of information about pelvic floor health in the detrans (and trans) communities and I wanted to compile the information that I’ve gained. If there are any issues or you have any wisdom to share, please DM me! I plan to add to this post and edit it over time as I learn more.

95% of females who have been on testosterone report pelvic health issues, which can include urinary leakage or retention, bladder pain, difficulty emptying the bladder, general pelvic pain, pain with sex, vaginal dryness, vaginal atrophy, vaginismus, anal issues, and more. (Source)

Here’s a discussion with a pelvic floor expert on the issues faced by females who have been on testosterone.

If you’ve experienced any of these problems, you’re not alone, and there are things you can do!

Vaginal Atrophy

The vast majority of detransitioning women (and females who are transitioning) have vaginal atrophy, which is a thinning and weakening of the tissues that line the vaginal wall. Atrophy can lead to pain during sex, or with regular movement, bleeding due to small tears in the vaginal lining, narrowing of the vaginal canal, urinary issues, and more.

Because testosterone affects our ovaries, we can think of this issue as something similar to GSM (Genitourinary Syndrome of Menopause). Many of our symptoms mirror what happens to women as they age and their estrogen production decreases.

Treatments for Atrophy

1. Vaginal estrogen comes in the form of creams, suppositories, and insertable rings.

2. Vitamin E suppositories have been found to be as effective as vaginal estrogen in some studies. (Source)

3. Sea Buckthorn oil capsules have been shown to be effective in vaginal health. (Source)

4. Regular sexual activity can help by filling the vaginal wall tissues with blood, which can help to revitalize those tissues.

There are also many options for dryness, including vaginal moisturizers, aloe, coconut oil, and more. Sometimes the simplest natural options can be the most effective! Always talk to your gynecologist and do your own research on products you’re considering buying and make sure the ingredients are safe. Some people may experience yeast infections and other issues when using certain products.

Vaginal atrophy itself is to blame in many cases for the urinary symptoms that many of us report, and treating the atrophy may be all that’s needed in order to improve the urinary symptoms.

In other cases, we also need to look at overall pelvic floor health. I would argue that taking care of your pelvic floor is essential for any woman at any stage of life, since it can help with so many things!

Pelvic Floor Muscle Issues

Pelvic floor health issues can be divided into 2 types - Hypotonicity and Hypertonicity. Both types can lead to bladder issues, among other things.

Hypotonicity is the classic type many women experience after having children or during menopause. It’s also described as having a weak pelvic floor, and kegels are often the best treatment. The YouTube playlist at the end of this post includes videos for beginner and advanced kegel exercise methods and yoga.

Hypertonicity is the opposite type, where the pelvic muscles are chronically tight. For this, the treatment is to use muscle release methods to relax the pelvic floor. Remember - Relaxed muscles are the best at doing their job.

Anxiety can also be a factor in hypertonicity! If you’re often anxious, get used to checking how that feels in your pelvic floor. Many young women experience bladder leakage or discomfort, feeling like you have to go when you don’t, or pain with sexual activity, due to anxiety which causes overly tight muscles.

You wouldn’t think at first that Hypertonicity could lead to urinary symptoms like leakage, but when your muscles are overly tight, they just don’t work the way they should.

Sitting a lot and generally not getting much exercise also causes muscles in the pelvic floor, hips, and hamstrings to tighten and become shorter, so stretching these areas is very helpful.

And when you have a urinary issue, or you’re dealing with the aftermath of childbirth, surgery, or any other medical trauma to the pelvic floor, there can be a tendency to reflexively tighten your muscles all the time, for fear of what might happen if you don’t. Some people with hypertonicity also experience their symptoms getting worse if they do a lot of kegel exercise. In these situations, kegels can become counterintuitive.

That said, using methods to address both types can be the best option for some people. As long as you listen to your body, keep track of how each method makes you feel, and talk with a doctor or pelvic floor PT if you have serious concerns or don’t understand how to do something, you should be able to figure out something that will help!

Vaginismus is also a very common condition that’s connected to hypertonicity and potential mental causes. You’ll know you have Vaginismus if you’ve always had trouble inserting things into your vagina, or if your partner has had trouble with it. Many women describe it as a sensation of the vagina closing up when faced with something trying to get in. You may find that at certain times or with certain objects, you have no problem, and at other times or with other objects, you do. Stretches and massages for hypertonicity can often help with Vaginismus.

Prolapse is a relatively common issue in women who have had kids and older women in menopause. This can also cause urinary symptoms. The incidence of pelvic floor prolapse in females on testosterone is not known, but due to atrophy weakening the walls of the vagina, it’s possible that testosterone will increase your risk. It’s also more common in people who have had a hysterectomy.

Tools

1. Vaginal dilators can be helpful for people who have trouble with Vaginismus or feel like their vagina is small. These are also helpful for people who have difficulty inserting fingers

2. A pelvic wand or vibrator can help you with massage to loosen muscles, if needed

4. Kegel trainers come in various types and can help you perform kegels more effectively if you know that your issue is hypotoniticy

5. Pessaries can help in cases where atrophy has led to pelvic floor prolapse. Make sure you get diagnosed before using one!

6. Your hands! Don’t underestimate the power of using your hands for external or internal massage

The biggest thing to take away from this post is this - Don’t be afraid of your vagina or pelvic floor! Don’t be afraid to try things that may help you improve whatever issues you’re having.

Your vagina is a normal part of your body, and especially when you’re experiencing issues, that’s when it’s time to really learn about it and understand what’s going on. If you’re anything like me, you’ve gone your whole life being too afraid or too uninformed to do certain things or explore your body in certain ways. We need to reduce the fear, stigma, and awkwardness of vaginal and pelvic floor issues, and the first step is to get to know your body. 💪

Exercises

I’ve put together a playlist of YouTube videos that have helped me in this process, which I will continue to add to. I hope they help you too!

And again, please DM me with any information you think is helpful or stories about what worked for you.

And if you’re a medical professional, I would love for you to review this post and suggest edits or additions.

Please share this with all your friends! My intention is for this to be a community resource we can use to spread awareness✌🏼

#detrans #detransition #lesbian #feminism #butch #trans #transgender #ftm

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johannestevans · 1 year ago

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hi, unless i’m imaging things i think you’ve mentioned having written an article about different treatments for vaginal atrophy. do you have a link?

Hey there, Anon!

I have a big, exhaustive guide to vaginal and vulvar stimulation, and I do discuss the impact of vaginal atrophy and a few options toward treating it, but it doesn't go into specific detail.

Vaginal atrophy is caused by decreased estrogen production, and effectively what happens is that the soft, wet tissue on the inside of your vagina - the parts that are formed of mucous membranes - become thinner and dryer. This can lead to pain during sex, difficulty getting sufficiently loose or lubricated for penetration, and it can make the skin there tear a lot more easily, because when it's thinner it's less flexible and has less support from the surrounding tissues, not to mention the increased friction from lack of lubrication.

It's important to remember that while we're at our wettest during sexual arousal, the inside of the vagina - much like the head of the penis inside the foreskin - should always be a little bit wet. That wetness is really important to the vagina performing its regular activities, keeping itself clean and healthy, and not receiving too much friction just from things like walking around.

Even your rectum has important mucous inside it to keep things running a bit more smoothly and to ensure it's never too dry, and this is why too many enemas in a short period can be bad for your anal and rectal health, and your anus is a lot more closed naturally than your vagina, you know?

While more lube during sex is often the first thing people bring up in response to vaginal dryness, that's actually only one facet of potential issues - for people who are on T, for people going through menopause, for people who for whatever reason have an E deficiency or insufficient E in this area, it can cause other problems too - your vaginal canal might get a bit shorter, muscle weakness in the area (especially of the pelvic floor) can make you need to pee more often and more urgently, you might have some spotting, abdominal pain, uncomfortable or burning sensations when urinating.

In combination with the fact that vaginal atrophy can make you more prone to injury, your bacterial flora can be thrown out of whack by this process too, and these are really really important to maintaining a healthy vagina, producing appropriate amounts of discharge, but also to fighting off infection - vaginal atrophy is also associated with recurrent UTIs and other infections.

So, what can we do?

Firstly, pelvic floor exercises are unbelievably helpful, and everyone should be doing them regularly, regardless of gender or genital make-up.

Here's an NHS guide """for women""" but it mostly doesn't use any gendered language for your actual body parts:

These exercises will help strengthen your pelvic floor, and strengthening these muscles will not only help with stuff like potential urinary incontinence or give you a tighter grip that you can better control during penetration (more control in this area can also help you if you're prone to reflexive tightness under stress, e.g. with vaginismus), but when those muscles are stronger and have more density to them, they provide more support to the surrounding area, which can help blood flow and give more structure to the tissues we're trying to support.

Secondly, as well as good lubricants, there also exist vaginal moisturizers - depending on the extent of your atrophy and how much it's a problem (it might be worse, for example, at some points of the month than others), these might help - you apply them every few days and they help your vagina maintain its lubrication.

If pelvic floor exercises and lube and moisturizer isn't helping, your next step is different forms of estrogen - your medical provider will need to tell you what's available in your area and to you particularly, but there's honestly all sorts.

You can get topical estrogen gels and creams that you smear inside the vagina, you can get suppositories that you insert and are then absorbed, you can get rings that you insert and then stay in place for a few months, slowly releasing E over time.

If you're using testosterone, it's more likely that your medical provider would suggest these latter than taking E orally - the great thing about these topical applications is that the E stays very localised to your pelvic region where you need it, much like when you get an IUS and the progesterone stays relatively localised. Taking E orally, you're introducing estrogen to your whole system, and depending on your current hormone cocktail, it might be harder to figure out dosage and effect, especially over time.

If your medical provider hears you're experiencing vaginal atrophy and, if you say that lube and moisturizer aren't sufficient, they immediately suggest moving to vaginal dilators or pain killers, or if they talk about easing your "discomfort" during sex (especially with a presumed male partner) without talking about pleasure or satisfaction, or especially if you've brought up vaginal atrophy for reasons other than sex and their priority immediately jumps to the imaginary partner they want you to be satisfying, I would recommend getting a new medical provider as soon as possible, and probably telling that one to shut the fuck up.

Many doctors, as we know, are scumbags, but some particularly cunty ones' automatic focus for someone with a vagina is that you're providing sex to your (cishet male) partner - they automatically focus less on your pleasure or satisfaction, let alone your health, and more on the idea of reducing pain you're experiencing enough that you'll let that partner fuck you as much as they desire to.

This is not a medical provider that has your best interests at heart, and if they don't afford you humanity in this area, I would have doubts as to others.

If you're having difficulty with a medical provider, I would always, always advise:

Bringing a chaperone with you. You're entitled to a chaperone, you can always bring one, a lot of the time they'll want to say a chaperone can stay out of the room "for your comfort/privacy" but for your comfort and safety, you can also bring them in with you. A chaperone might be a friend or family member or partner, and they don't even need to say anything a lot of the time - just having a witness there can make a medical provider think twice about bullying a patient. I've served as a medical chaperone for quite a few friends, especially because I'm a thin white man, and even as a faggot, doctors humanise me slightly more than they do friends of mine who are perceived as women, who are POC, who are fat, etc.

Ask your doctor the reasoning behind denying a course of treatment, and ask them to document that they are refusing treatment at this time. Once they write it down, it becomes something that's documented and that they can't deny in court, which tends to make them a bit more flexible.

Don't be afraid to go into the doctor having done a bit of your own research. Doctors will tell you not to google things as many doctors have fragile egos and become nervous at empowered patients - with particularly egotistic doctors, you can always phrase your research in the form of questions to make them feel like you're appropriately aggrandising them. "Are there suppositories for this, or creams? Could my UTIs be related to my vaginal dryness? My mother mentioned vaginal atrophy during her menopause, but I didn't really understand what it was. Could you explain? Could that be me?"

Cisgender women are generally better doctors than cisgender men (statistically, despite being underpaid and underrepresented), but obviously cisgender people are often... very cisgender, and cisgender women can be even more painfully cisgender than cisgender men. Most providers won't bat an eyelid at you requesting a female doctor over a male one for a gynecological concern, but you can't go around asking for the most clocky doctor they've got in the back.

What you can do if you're having trouble at your GP is look for your local GUM (Genito-Urinary Medicine) clinic, and see if they'd see you and talk to you about vaginal atrophy - I know several trans people who work as nurses and practitioners in the GUM field, and in general, GUM practitioners will be way more chill about this field.

Unlike your GP, there's no chance of them getting flustered, nervous, or religiously conservative about sex or genitalia, and GUM practitioners are often more chill about queer, trans, and intersex patients because they already see us a lot more, whether because queer people are more on-the-ball about STI testing, or just because many of us enter sex work, and they're more likely to see sex workers. The benefit of this, though, is that you're almost certainly not going to be their first or only patient with x or y element of your body or identity, which can mean they humanise you a bit better and are generally less shit.

I hope that helps, Anon!

#musings #anonymous

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lavvylove · 7 months ago

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So we learn in Criminal Minds that Spencer Reid is allergic to Carbenicillin.

Carbenicillin is a bacterial antibiotic, usually given by IV but can be given orally if needed. Now, I spent a while in the ER a few days ago and when you do that they give you a red band that labels any medications you’re allergic to.

I was looking at it and went down a rabbit whole about what it treats. Then I remembered the Carbenicillin and I went down a rabbit hole about that.

Carbenicillin is a bacterial antibiotic used primarily to treat urinary tract infections or protatitis (extreme uti essentially). At first I was kinda shocked until I really remembered what Spencer’s childhood and early adulthood was like.

All of his time has always been devoted to everyone and everything else, his mother or his school or his job. If his mother is having an episode, how is he supposed to go to the bathroom? If he’s working and his entire focus is on that, why would he stop for something as menial as a potty break?

All this to say, I think Spencer had (or very likely could still have) issues with going to the bathroom when the need arises. He gets busy and avoids it and when he was younger it led to the discovery of his allergy. Did MGG or the writers intend for some 18-year-old girl to deduce all this? Probably not, but I think it’s so genuinely interesting and a very cool insight into what seems so small but could be one of his many sources of worry like “Did I go pee earlier? Do I have to know..? Oh god not another uti..” and as a girl with chronic bladder issues I feel seen

@nereidprinc3ss please read this I think you’d find it so intriguing and I’m sorry if it’s creepy that someone you don’t know is tagging you😭🙏🏻

#criminal minds #spencer reid #lavvy talks too much #criminal minds headcanons #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid headcanon

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bardic-inspirjaytion · 2 months ago

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Why do you call your cat piss king? Is he really good at it or something?

hi anon!

we're gonna learn a bit about cat urinary systems and issues! it may be a bit TMI for the scope of the question but, given how few cat guardians know about this, I'm always looking for chances to educate since being informed can literally save a cat's life.

the main takeaway: if you notice that your cat cannot pee, HEAD TO THE EMERGENCY VET NOW, DO NOT PASS GO! full stop.

if they cannot pee, that is one of the few true emergencies in a healthy cat, and you NEED to treat it as such.

usually you'll see a blocked cat straining and vocalizing in the box, licking themselves, whining and highly reactive to being touched on the lower belly, and - of course - you won't see any proper urine in the box. there may be dribbles or blood, but no pee. this is a problem that escalates really fast, and can easily be lethal. do NOT fuck around with it.

what qualifies me to talk about this? it's exactly what happened to pekoe (peek for short) about three years ago.

proper Storytime and more detail below the cut.

see, the thing with cats is that their bladders are tiny and their kidneys are, uh, bad! so if they can't pee, not only is it incredibly painful, but the liquid and toxins building up in their system can do a LOT of organ damage in a VERY short amount of time. this can get very bad, very fast, and it is very easy for them to die from it if the issue can't be fixed easily and promptly.

usually, the vet will be able to get a catheter into the blocked cat to relieve the pressure, flush out their bladder if there's a physical blockage (ex, if they've made bladder crystals/stones, we gotta get those out of there!), and give them medication to prevent spasms and infection as they heal. a cat then needs to go on urinary-friendly food to prevent additional blockages for the rest of their lives, and some other lifestyle adjustments should be made to treat any underlying risk factors that the animal might have.

sometimes, however, that doesn't resolve the issue, and they block again. and if you're extra unlucky, they'll block AGAIN after that. and maybe again, for extra spice. if you're extra extra unlucky, this will all happen in the same week.

this is the situation that peek and i found ourselves in.

picture the urinary system of a cat as a funnel, with the external bits being the tip of the funnel. when you ultimately need to make a funnel bigger because it can't drain anymore, what do you do?

you remove the tip.

this is an operation called a perineal urethrostomy, or a PU for short. it's a last resort salvage procedure that essentially removes the external genitalia of a male cat to widen the exit of the urinary tract and prevent future blockages. it's a difficult and delicate operation with a very long recovery time. it was also the only option left to save peek's life.

real talk before this next bit: i will never judge pet guardians for impossible decisions made in good faith based on qualified medical advice, in the interest of trying to do what's best for their pets. flat up, i don't stand for that shit.

okay? cool, let's keep going.

a PU is definitely not a surgery that has any guarantees, it can be very painful, it needs a very skilled vet to do it, and it's both expensive and difficult to see an animal through it safely. it was also the one option we had left to save peek, who was very very VERY sick at that point. the vet told me that she was also willing to do euthanasia, if the PU was not right for us, with zero judgment - the little guy had been through a lot of pain and several surgeries already, and doing this operation would be asking a lot more from an animal that was already very weak, with no guarantees of success.

he was briefly stable so i took him home to think about it and sat with him overnight. hours in the darkened living room, with my fluffy best friend sleeping fitfully in my arms like a sick baby. in the morning when he woke up he gave me a little lick on the face, and then a headbutt with a weak but undeniably hungry little meow. he hadn't had an appetite in a week, but now he wanted breakfast. in that moment, i knew he was letting me know that he wasn't finished fighting yet, so i knew the right decision for me was to keep fighting for him.

i called the vet, and we went ahead with the surgery.

i'll spare you the rest of the grisly details - the procedure was a success, and i was lucky enough to be able to work remotely and nurse him through the recovery. it was long and difficult and stressful. it sucked! it was crazy making. i would break down weeping with relief every single time i saw a dirty litter box for WEEKS. if you're reading this and going through it yourself, please feel free to reach out to me any time, okay?

but we persevered. i took care of him, and he rallied like a goddamn king. and hey. anon. guess what?

that was almost three years ago. his life went fully back to normal after he healed. you wouldn't know that this had happened if you didn't already know, because that fluffy little king still pisses like a champion race horse.

so, that's the story of how pekoe became

THE PISS KING.

#pekoe the piss king #storytime #anon ask #cw pet death #cw surgery #cat care #cat owner psa #psa #urinary obstruction #pu surgery

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tiredwitchplant · 1 year ago

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Everything You Need to Know About Veggies and Fruits: Cranberries

Cranberry (Vaccinium Macrocarpon)

*Kitchen *Medical *Feminine

Folks Names: Bog fruit, Marshworts

Planet: Mars

Element: Water (juice), Fire (berry)

Deities: Astarte, Marjatta,

Abilities: Healing, Protection, Love, Lust, Positive Energy, Courage, Passion, Action

Characteristics: Native to Eastern North America and northern Asia. Small, slender, evergreen shrub growing to 1 ft with oval, dark green leaves, pink flowers and round/slightly pear-shaped red berries.

History: This jewel-toned gem of the bog is native to North America and a traditional food from Samhain through Yule. Its association with the American Thanksgiving meal is long rooted in tradition, but there is no historical evidence proving it was actually served at that first Thanksgiving celebrated by the Pilgrims. Despite this, cranberry something or other is commonly found on Thanksgiving and Christmas feast tables all across the United States, Canada, and the United Kingdom. Cranberry garlands made by stringing hundreds of the hard round red berries with a needle onto a long sturdy string is a traditional Christmas decoration. It is believed that cranberries got their name due to cranes always eating them and the blossoms of the berries look like the head of cranes. It is considered a sacred fruit in some indigenous circles such as Algonquian and Iroquois.

How to Grow:

Easy to Plant: Relatively

Rating: Moderate

Seeds accessible: Sometimes seasonal

How to Plant Cranberries

Video Guide

Where to Buy Seeds

Magical Properties

Can be used as a substitute for wine

Dried cranberries can be used in a charm to honor the wisdom of elders or as an offering to ancestors

It’s bright color signals energy, passion, courage, rejuvenation and rebirth

Can lend abundance, love and healing in kitchen spells

Since they are from the bog, it said to be feared by evil spirits and can offer protection

Placing a bowl of cranberries under one’s bed can restore depleted energy and cure an illness

Drinking the juice with your partner on a dark moon can keep your relationship free of trouble and continue to go strong

Can help link wisdom and guidance of ancestors

Can be utilized in energy cleansing rituals to remove negative energies from the aura

Is said to restore chakra alignment balance and create harmony

Burning bundles of cranberry stems can purify the energy of space and promote spiritual well-being during rituals and meditating

Medical Usage:

A classic remedy for urinary tract infections and can prevent and treat problems such as cystitis and urethritis

Can help to disinfect the urinary tubules and may be taken for problems associated with poor urinary flow such as enlarged prostate and blade infections

Can be used long term to prevent the development of urinary stones

Research in 1994 showed that cranberry juice helped really well with UTIs in women

Sources

#witch community #witchblr #witchcraft #paganblr #nature #witchcraft 101 #plants and herbs #green witch #occulltism #cranberries #cranberry juice #cranberry sauce #kitchen witch #thanksgiving #fruits and vegetables #berries #baby witch

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letters-to-lgbt-kids · 2 years ago

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(TW: Sex, genitalia mention)

My dear lgbt+ kids,

Sex isn't supposed to hurt. Anyone who tells you otherwise is lying.

That includes all kinds of penetration: vaginal, anal, with a penis, finger or toy. "Entry pain" with penetration isn't normal and neither is pain during or after sex.

There are sadly still people out there who tell vagina-owners that it's normal to feel uncomfortable during sex, that penetrative sex isn't supposed to be enjoyable for you, only for your partner, or that you need to bear the pain (either for your partner's sake or "until you loosen up" - which is not how the vagina works!).

The idea that “you are born tight and need to be loosened up by a penis” (and that you therefore need to lie down and take the pain until you are loose enough) is a complete myth. It is easily debunked by basic biology: your vagina is a muscular canal. That means its tissue is elastic! It can stretch when it needs to, and then it bounces back (just think about childbirth! It can stretch to fit a whole baby) - and it can do that because that’s how muscles work, it doesn’t need some magic penis to come along and teach it to do that. It’s actually a pretty sexist idea that you’d need that!

Pain isn't (and shouldn't be!) a normal, regular part of sex. If penetration hurts, it's a sign something is wrong. It's a good idea to talk to a medical professional who can help you pinpoint the exact reason.

Here are a few common causes:

Not enough lubrication. This means you are not "wet" enough. The vagina self-lubricates when aroused, the anus doesn't. So, for vaginal sex it can help to just include more foreplay to make sure you are really aroused and ready to go! Foreplay can be anything that feels good and gets you in the mood. Additionally you can use lube (this is a kind of gel or cream specifically made to reduce friction during sexual activity which are safe to apply to genitalia - please do not try to use face cream, shampoo or anything like that. If it is not made to be used vaginally, it can really irritate your skin and make the problem worse!). For anal penetration, you always need to use lube.

Certain medications (like antidepressants, birth control pills or high blood pressure pills) can decrease lubrication as a side effect. If you suspect this plays a role, please do not discontinue your meds without your doctor's approval. Ask them for advice, maybe you can switch to a different brand or dosage. Lube can also be helpful in those cases.

Urinary tract infections can cause a burning sensation during or after sex. Talk to your doctor, you may need antibiotics or other medication to treat your UTI.

Skin problems in your genital area (like eczema) can cause pain during sex. If your skin looks red or feels itchy, raw or swollen, talk to your gynecologist.

Vaginismus causes involuntary spasms of the vaginal muscles. This may be the case if you can't insert anything at all (not even tampons) without experiencing severe pain. Talk to your gynecologist. (They usually do not need to perform an internal exam to diagnose vaginismus, if you are worried about the exam being too painful). Treatment can include physical therapy (such as pelvic floor exercises) and psychological therapy.

Depression, anxiety, high levels of stress or past traumatic sexual experiences can also contribute to pain during sex. This does not mean “The pain isn’t real, it’s all in your head”! Emotional health and physical health are interlinked. For example, depression can make it harder to feel aroused (and therefore lubricated).

This is not an exhaustive list. There are other temporary situations, chronic conditions and acute illnesses that can make sex painful - if you are unsure or worried, it’s always best to consult a gynecologist.

With all my love,

Your Tumblr Dad

#lgbt #lgbt+

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pierrai · 2 months ago

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fic of damien washing celeste! can turn nsfw. make him creepy. <3

Enjoy anon <3

Character: Damien, Celeste Word Count: 3151 Scenario: Damien washes Celeste Warnings: NSFW, non-consensual touching, implied self-harm, Damien's scientific dirty talk

Damien

Taking baths together had become a usual thing. Celeste was very much against it at first, and though Damien suspects (knows) she still is, just quieter, now she barely says anything when he suggests they wash up and gently takes her hand to guide her to the bathroom. She waits until he begins stripping first before she’ll hesitantly take her clothes off, and he always, always has to lovingly invite her over to sit in the tub with him before she dares to move.

So far, Damien has been gracious in letting Celeste sit opposite him, but today he insisted she sit with her back pressing against him instead. He sat himself down in the water and gently called her over, calmly saying that today he wished to sit a bit closer so he could more easily wash her.

Her reservations were made clear by the look of fear on her face, but after not quite being able to say no properly, she clambered into the tub with Damien’s assistance, and now she sat between his legs.

She doesn’t let her back lean full against him, purposefully sitting forward so that there isn’t much contact. Her body is arched forward, legs folded, knees pressed against her chest… She's like a scared animal. Utterly adorable.

It doesn’t matter to Damien, of course. Like he always does, he grabs the washcloth from the side of the tub and dips it in the water, letting it soak in the warmth and wet before he lifts it out again and presses it against Celeste’s back. She flinches rather clearly, but doesn’t move otherwise, already used to this routine. Despite having done this multiple times by now, both naked and with Damien always aroused at the sight of Celeste’s body, Damien is still yet to do anything. He usually washes her body from head to toe, her hair too if he needs to, washes himself, and then lets the bath drain as he sits Cel down to dry her and then himself. Celeste always remained quite tense, avoiding eye contact as if he could do something to her at any moment, and with them now in a more intimate position, she has good reason to feel that way.

Regardless, he follows the usual routine. He runs the washcloth along her shoulders, her arms, her legs, her back, her stomach. He dips it in the water, only to lift it again and let the streams of water drip along her body to rinse away soap suds.

But he lets his hands wander a bit too. Lets them linger at her waist and her chest. Rubs the pads of his thumbs into her shoulder blades and leans forward to get closer to her.

She squirms slightly when he presses a kiss to the nape of her neck. This was the only meagre protest she could put up; one present enough to show her discomfort, but also one too fearful and insignificant to stop Damien from what he was doing. The fact she put up any resistance at all made his chest feel warm.

He guides his hands down to her waist to shuffle her closer so her back is flush against his front. More kisses are littered across her back and shoulders and neck. She lets out a breath she’s likely been holding for a while, only to fail holding another one as Damien’s hand attempts to slip between her legs. She quickly locks them shut.

“Now now, Cel,” he tuts. “Be a good girl and part your legs for me. How am I supposed to wash down there when you keep yourself curled up like this, hm? It's the only place I haven't cleaned yet.” But, despite his gentle coaxing, her thighs stay defiantly pressed against one another. He sighs, resisting the urge to grin. “Do you know how easy it is to develop complications without proper hygiene? Urinary infections, vaginitis, itching… Of course, I would have no problem treating you for any of those after an in-depth examination to check…”

And just like that, her tense and trembling legs part just enough for his hand and wrist to slip though.

“Ah, there we go. Thank you,” he hums contentedly. Celeste’s legs are already beginning to clench again, retreating back to their curled up position, but if anything, it’s just trapping his hand in place.

He begins by spreading his fingers apart so he can rub along the very outer lips of her vagina, closer to her thighs than her soft, warm centre. Even that makes her jitter, so aware of his every movement.

“How do you usually wash yourself here, Celeste?” He asks, leaning his head forward to rest upon her shoulder so his mouth is right next to her ear. She turns her head away. “I want to make sure you know how to do it properly.” The pads of his fingers rub up and down, creeping further inwards each time until they rest at the edge of her outer labia, the barrier between pale, soft peach and warm, fleshy pink. “There are so many folds down there, so you need to be quite thorough.”

His index finger rests firmly on one side while his pinkie and ring finger press on the other so he can spread her apart. That leaves his middle finger free to explore, and he guides it along accordingly as he speaks.

“The inner labia, for example.” He traces along its bumpy edge. “The outside of it near your skin… and the inside of it near your vaginal opening.” This time, his finger strokes further inwards, prompting Cel to tense her shoulders even more as Damien gets closer to the hole at the centre of it all. He knows these parts of her have nowhere near as many nerve endings as her sweeter insides, but anticipation alone is making her squirm, and he loves it.

For a moment, his finger reaches the very bottom of her vulva, dancing along the edge of her perineum.

“Of course, this part is quite important too,” he comments, almost laughing when she becomes as stiff as a ramrod. Perhaps toying with her ass would be too much for the poor girl today. “But, we can leave that for another time.” Mercifully, he doesn’t move his finger any further down, but less mercifully, he does instead move it to press just above her opening, near a smaller bundle of flesh. “Your urethra should be about here. It’s so small, you can barely even feel it. You wouldn’t want it to get infected, so make sure to wash it gently and often.”

He glides his finger upwards at an agonisingly slow pace, and Celeste, perhaps unwillingly by how quickly she bites her lip to cover it, lets out a pathetic whimper, shuffling her feet and clenching her fingers. One of her hands is clutching her left ankle, her nails digging into the skin and scratching in what Damien assumes to be an attempt to distract herself. The other hand keeps brushing against his thigh, and he wishes she had the nerve to grab that and dig her nails in as well.

“Now, here,” he purrs. Instead of prodding his finger right at her centre spot of pleasure, he diverts it to the side to stroke along the hood of her clit, that soft barrier of flesh barely offering enough protection to stop her from huffing out a shaky breath and squirming some more. He snakes his free arm around her waist and laughs softly. “Bear with me. I know it’s quite sensitive.” He strokes the full length of the hood, periodically stopping to rub gentle lines up and down at her pubic bone. Celeste’s breaths come out in shaky puffs. “But since it’s so tucked away down here, it’s even more important to clean it well.”

By the time his finger has made a full round of her inflamed hood and finally hooked its way underneath to the hard and sensitive nub that is her clit, Celeste has left a few scratches on her ankle. Her blood always looks so pretty when it mixes with the bathwater.

“There are so many nerves all in this small bundle of flesh,” he whispers, curving the very tip of his finger back and forth. He needn’t tell her that though, for she could surely feel all ten-thousand or so nerve endings being stimulated by just the slightest movement. “You wouldn’t want such a sweet and sensitive thing as this to become infected and cause you pain…”

Celeste bit her lip to keep any moans from leaking out, but such a struggle was useless when Damien was perfectly satisfied with the infrequent and shaky breaths coming in and out of her nose, and the rapid undulation of her stomach. Cel never had to do much to make him feel aroused, and he was certain she'd been able to feel the hardness of his erection pressing against her back ever since the two had first sat down. Another thing she would often try her best to ignore.

She throws her head back further all of a sudden, unintentionally allowing the most melodic of choked moans to grace Damien’s ears. Her thighs have a vice-like grip on his wrist, but even if she cut off his blood flow and rendered his fingers blackened and dead, he would not stop moving them.

Celeste is a sensitive girl; something he dearly loves. It doesn’t take much to bring her to a glorious climax, and combined with Damien’s skillful fingerwork, the ensuing rush of pleasure is sure to have her legs quivering. As her breaths become shorter and more moans slip past the barrier of her lips, Damien knows she’s soon to become undone. She finally grips his thigh, nails cutting small crescents into his skin, and her body is wracked with tremors all over.

He wishes he could see the sort of expression that’s on her face. Her body is limp against his, and he revels in the feeling of their skin pressing together—of her weight leaning into him. Her legs have lost the strength for her muscles to tense up so instead they slip downwards and her feet slide along the tub until they hit the edge and her knees knock together. Her chest shakes up and down with the most indelible ragged breaths, each one punctuated by soft whines of fearful bliss. If there would be any moment that Damien would be happy to die, this would be it.

His own breathing is slow and laboured as if he’d climaxed himself. Truthfully, he probably could get off just watching Celeste if he concentrated enough or rut against her back. He’s almost tempted to just fuck her instead, but such animalistic actions could be reserved for later. He is far more refined.

“Ah… I’ve only dirtied you more, it seems,” he sighs out, voice teetering on elation. “I’m terribly sorry for getting carried away.” He moves his finger a hair’s breadth across Celeste’s sensitive nub and it’s like an electric shock has been sent all across her body. A more pathetic moan is dragged up her throat and out her mouth as all of her muscles tense again, and Damien thins his eyes delightfully at the pain registering on the skin of his thigh.

“N…No more, p-ple—” She doesn’t bother finishing her sentence as Damien moves his finger away from her clit, offering one final bit of friction, then she hesitantly limpens again. He couldn’t help but love her for it. The bliss of her orgasm or the fear of the man pressed against her. She tried to choose, he’s sure.

They sit in silence for a few more moments, the only notable sound being that of Celeste’s breathing. Part of Damien would be content to sit like this forever, but he simply wants more.

“My precious Celeste…” He nuzzles his face into her shoulder, delighting when the muscles there tense, as does her whole body. Another breathy whine leaves her throat. He takes his index finger and swipes it alongside the full length of her vagina, feeling the clear difference in consistency of the thin slickness of the bathwater and the thick wetness of her own fluids. There’s so much of it too, he feels proud. Celeste is such a good girl, getting so wet for him and only him.

“N-No, Damien, please… I said no more—” She begs, voice rising higher with fear and her breathing quickening again upon realising that he intends to torture her further. He has to tighten his grip around her waist to stop her from moving too much. The water is sloshing over the edges of the bathtub.

“I know, I know,” he all but whines, brushing his lips along her delicate skin. “But you’re just so perfect, I have to touch you more. I can’t help myself. I adore your reactions—I wish to see more.” He knows she won’t fight him. She can’t. As his fingers tease her opening, her back presses against him in such a way, he can’t tell whether she’s trying to escape or bind them further together. Regardless, he’s elated, and his erection is equally as stimulated by the added pressure.

He presses his finger inside of her, causing her to let out a few more whines of ‘no’ and ‘please’. The flesh of her insides is hot and wet. Her walls are quick to clamp down the more he advances his digit inwards, almost as if her body cannot help but crave more of him. His cock twitches at the thought of what it’d be like to be there instead.

“It’s not necessary to clean in here,” he says, wriggling his finger further inward and prodding a second one against her hot entrance. “In fact, it’s usually bad to let any water inside of you.” Celeste fails to bite down a moan as another finger sinks in. “But you don’t need to worry, Celeste. I can simply conduct frequent inspections to make sure the worst doesn’t come to pass.” He catches his teeth against her skin and suckles so it’ll leave a mark.

“I don’t w-want—that—” Her panicked words are interrupted by a gasp as Damien clasps his hand against her breast, fingers pinching her nipple. He loves this part of her too. He loves every part of her. He wants to touch all of her so, so much. She squirms again, but not hard enough. Damien is overjoyed. His fingers begin working a steady pace in and out of her.

“Does it feel good, Celeste?” He asks, his own voice ragged yet he manages to laugh. “It feels good, doesn’t it?” He curves both of his fingers so they press into the small, bumpy bit of flesh along the wall of her insides. “Sixty-seven millimetres inwards… Right here, Celeste, do you feel it?” He doesn’t need to ask at all. As he slows his thrusting pace to instead drag the pads of his fingers against that one spot inside of her, she seems unable to bear it.

Her feet uselessly kick outwards so her back is forced to lean fully against Damien’s chest. Her bloodied ankle is too far away now so she instead grasps at Damien’s wrist, too weak or too unwilling to move it anywhere, but desperate enough to leave a few more beautiful scratches. The other grips the edge of the tub. Her chin sinks down to graze her breast bone and her mouth hangs open in a long and drawn out moan that rises and falls in pitch as Damien stimulates the same spot over and over, again and again. He knows exactly how to drive her insane. If only he’d set up a camera… he’d have to do with replaying this heavenly scene over again in his head from memory instead.

It wouldn’t take much more for her to reach another orgasm, already so sensitive from the first and with Damien being so enthusiastic with his fingerwork, she’s all but certain to reach her peak quickly. Damien himself can feel a knot forming in his stomach. To be able to climax whilst he’s not even focusing on his own pleasure brings him clear joy and satisfaction. He and Celeste must be made for each other. The universe must’ve brought them together just because they were so perfect for one another. He mindlessly ruts his cock against the flesh of her back.

His fingers jab at Celeste’s raw insides so relentlessly, she has to clap her hand over her mouth in an attempt to mask her pleasure. Damien wishes she would just let such wonderful noises free, but he's determined to have that happen without his interference. He didn’t wish to bind her hands or stop her from biting her lip, he simply craves the satisfaction he’ll feel when she’s one day so overwhelmed by love for him that she’ll let him hear every single sound.

Her back arches and her whole body tenses up soon after. Her walls clench so hard around Damien’s finger, it might just fall off, but he continues thrusting even as he’s sure she’s begun climaxing. A whine leaks past a gap in her hand, and that is enough to send Damien over the edge too, but he doesn’t bother to hide his own raspy moan of pleasure, ropes of white spilling up between his stomach and Celeste’s back.

It takes a few more moments until Celeste’s body finally begins to go limp again in the aftershock of her orgasm, and her hand falls down from her mouth so Damien can hear whines or gasps or sobs or all three tumbling from her lips. Her weight is pressing fully against him once again, her back surely being sullied with his cum, yet she either doesn’t care or is willing herself not to right not. Damien removes his fingers slowly and rests his own body against the edge of the tub, attempting to catch his breath through his nose so he can breath in the heavy odour of sex and the sweet scent of Celeste’s shampoo. She still uses the same one even now.

His cock is still hard, so he’s sure he could go even further right now, but perhaps that might be too much for his poor, beloved Cel if he were to fuck her over the edge of the bathtub, much as he might want to. He ought to treat her gently in such a blissful afterglow, and of course it was very important that he maintain a good balance for her mental well-being. Some things, like this, he still wants to savour, so although he’s quick to decide enough is enough for one day, he still grins at the ironic thought that after all of this time sitting in a bathtub, the two of them still need cleaning.

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pupintransit · 8 months ago

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At this stage post-op we are about three weeks out from the surgery. Things are healing fine, but not without some complications:

Wound dehiscence at the front of my canal. It'll heal on its own but kind of slowly. Plus according to the trans care nurse I saw it's likely to develop granular tissue, which is treated very easily but it's profoundly inconvenient nonetheless

Urinary tract infection. Search me how I contracted the fuckin' thing but we caught it early it seems. I was given some antibiotics at my last medical appointment, and I hope to christ they kick in soon cuz I had a fever of about 101.6 this morning. Cannot remember the last time I felt that physically weak and miserable. The other day I didn't have the strength to keep my legs prone to air dry properly

There's a hematoma underneath my vulva on my right side. It sounds worse than it is, and it seems to be going down on its own. Still, it is lengthening my recovery time for longer than I want, and it bleeds out of a pinprick sized wound on right side

Ughhhhhh.

Mentally I've been all over the place. I've been going through phases of regret and fear, which as I wrote about earlier this month I experience when I feel particularly bad. It passes just as i expect it too once the pain and dread stops. It doesn't make it any easier to deal with in the moment though. Sometimes you just have to ride the feeling out.

I get asked sometimes what it feels like to be cockless. The honest answer is that is that I don't know yet. I like how it looks and I love not having something dangle between my legs, but it still hurts. I won't be able to use my new parts the way I want to for at least a few more months. I'm still a little too swollen to find my clit too, and quite frankly I miss being able to cum.

I'm not fucking around with my health so despite all of the pain and fever I'm going through I'm still dilating on schedule four times a days and doing my hygiene routines as required. There are consequences if I don't, and I don't want to become complacent and stop. I've downsized to the blue and green dilators for the time being due to the pain caused by my dehiscence. I can always work back up to the orange one once everything heals up more. Right now I want to be sure that I maintain my depth and do so with the least amount of pain possible.

There's someone I follow online who has a Q&A section about their own gender affirming surgery on their social media who has a very salient point in one of the entries. I'm not gonna tag them and risk embarrassing them (but if you happen to be reading this please know that I think very highly of you!), but essentially their point was that, if you're asking someone if you should get bottom surgery of any kind, the answer is no you should not. Asking that means that you're still uncertain about whether or not it's the best decision. If you ask yourself if you want bottom surgery and the answer you come up with is "I don't know," that isn't good enough. For your own safety you need to wait until you are certain. That could take a very long time but it's still the most responsible thing you can.

I had several appointments with therapist and doctors in order to be sure this is what I wanted. When I am in my right mind I am confident in my choice and I don't regret it. You need to be sure you won't regret it too.

Anyway. My next appointment with the trans health care nurse is friday of next week. Luckily my husband is able to drive me since my brother isn't available this time and I really do not want to take transit for that long in order to get there. Ideally my UTI will have gotten better by then. I'll let y'all know how it goes.

#transition journey #introspection

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feedingtheflockministry · 1 year ago

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The Passing of Our Beloved Honey Bear and How God Walked Us Through It

On July 11, 2023, after a long life of 12 1/2 years, my wife and I made the heartbreaking decision to have our golden retriever Honey Bear put to sleep. She reached a point of bodily pain and discomfort due to several tumors that kept growing all over her body (including on those extra sensitive areas), sores that were no longer healing after treatment, urinary tract infections that continued to come back shorty after they were treated causing terrible discomfort and pain, no longer wanted to go for walks, no longer wanted to play with her toys, she had extreme difficulty getting up, her fur was falling out, and started leaving some bits of food in her bowl or not eating her food until later (which was never the case before).

Honey was an amazing companion. From the moment I laid eyes on her as a small puppy (with low blood sugar and worms tucked away in a corner opposite her litter), to picking up groceries, tons of walks, playing tug, running around in the snow in Houston of all places, watching me cook, hanging out with us on the patio or pool side on her blanket, and lived with us in several apartments throughout her life. She was the constant in our lives despite the constant changes we experienced throughout the last twelve years. She was like a daughter to us. So making the decision to end her life was the hardest thing I have ever had to do in all my 46 years of living.

The week leading up to her last day I continued to asked The Lord if He was willing to heal my dog that He would, but instead of healing her He counseled and comforted me through it with the scriptures. He started by reminding me of the death of Moses in Deuteronomy 34:1-8. Showing me that death must come, but we that have control over another individual’s life should not allow them to suffer in pain, agony, sickness, distress, and physical deterioration after the love and devotion they showed us through their lives. We should plan for it if we can and give them a wonderful last moment, lasts days, or last weeks. For Moses had all his strength and strong eyesight when that day came. Afterwards The Lord personally buried his body. For The Lord only buried Moses in all of the scriptures. Moses also got to see the Promise Land from a mountain top on his last day, and Honey got lots of treats and got to go to special places during her last week. Just before she was put to sleep she got to eat a chocolate covered donut.

The second passage He reminded me of was a story He told to King David through the prophet Nathan in order that David could unknowingly pass judgment on his own actions with Bathsheba and being responsible for her husbands death. Through the story He showed me that He sees the love and strong bond we share with our closest pets. For He even uses it in His story for David to judge. So remember that when someone says dismissive things like, “It’s just an animal” or “it’s just a dog so move on and get another one”. Yes, getting another puppy can distract you from the heartbreak and grief somewhat, but no dog no matter how sweet they are is a replacement for the one you sent to your Heavenly Father’s house.

The third scripture came from one of King Solomon’s proverbs that says, “A righteous man has regard for the life of his animal, But even the compassion of the wicked is cruel.” A righteous man regards the health of his animal and acts accordingly. Even if that leads to making life ending decisions. For a wicked man will not do this for their animal, but will ignore the problem and continue to feed their animal while turning a blind eye to their suffering.

The forth passage came from John’s gospel about Jesus’s childhood friend Lazarus getting sick and dying. He arrived four days after he had died with the intention on healing him. When Jesus came He saw everyone mourning and weeping including Lazarus’s sister. Before He resurrected Lazarus He also wept. Why did He wait? Why didn’t He just say to those that delivered the message to Him about Lazarus being sick, “Go your way friends, for this hour Lazarus is healed”? We must remember that The Lord does everything for a purpose. That purpose is never for evil against us, but for prospering us in the way of righteousness and growth.

Lastly, the passage of scripture He reminded me of was, “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.” This is a promise from Him. For He sees us when we mourn and He comforts us through others around us, and by the Holy Spirit. For we are never alone when we are in Christ.

If you are going through a loss of a beloved fur child my heart goes out to you. You will always remember them and think of them fondly. Grieving for your beloved fur child is completely understandable, and by no means should anyone make you feel stupid for doing so.

Scripture passages:

Then Moses climbed Mount Nebo from the plains of Moab to the top of Pisgah, across from Jericho. There the Lord showed him the whole land—from Gilead to Dan, all of Naphtali, the territory of Ephraim and Manasseh, all the land of Judah as far as the Mediterranean Sea, the Negev and the whole region from the Valley of Jericho, the City of Palms, as far as Zoar. Then the Lord said to him, “This is the land I promised on oath to Abraham, Isaac and Jacobwhen I said, ‘I will give it to your descendants.’ I have let you see it with your eyes, but you will not cross over into it.” And Moses the servant of the Lord died there in Moab, as the Lord had said. He buried him in Moab, in the valley opposite Beth Peor, but to this day no one knows where his grave is. Moses was a hundred and twenty years old when he died, yet his eyes were not weak nor his strength gone. The Israelites grieved for Moses in the plains of Moab thirty days, until the time of weeping and mourning was over. Deuteronomy 34:1-8

Then the LORD sent Nathan to David. And he came to him and said, “There were two men in a city, the one wealthy and the other poor. The wealthy man had a great many flocks and herds. “But the poor man had nothing at allexcept one little ewe lamb which he bought and nurtured; and it grew up together with him and his children. It would eat scraps from him and drink from his cup and lie in his lap, and was like a daughter to him. “Now a visitor came to the wealthy man, and he could not bring himself to take any animal from his own flock or his own herd, to prepare for the traveler who had come to him; So he took the poor man’s ewe lamb and prepared it for the man who had come to him.” 2 Samuel 12:1-4

A righteous man has regard for the life of his animal, But even the compassion of the wicked is cruel. Proverbs 12:10

When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled. “Where have you laid him?” he asked. “Come and see, Lord,” they replied. Jesus wept. John 11:33-35

“Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.” Matthew 5:4

#pets #love pets #animals #dogs #scriptures #christianity #jesus christ #bible #bible teaching #biblescripture

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misschf-aisa · 3 months ago

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The last chapter.

The dog woke me up from a sound sleep and my heart needs to slow down so I can find that slumber again. It feels like a good time to finish my little journal to myself that I started here on my favorite site where posts without tags won’t bother very many people.

Dad went into the hospital again. His system was in septic shock times two - he had a urinary infection and a blockage in his colon that caused a blood infection. He also had multiple blood clots in his legs. His blood pressure was super low. He was in constant afib/tachycardia. When he first went into the hospital with all of that he was still chatty and making jokes.

Of course the trouble was he needed blood thinners for the clots. He needed adrenaline to keep his blood pressure up. The adrenaline exacerbated the racing heart. Everything that fixed one thing unfixed another. It was four days of juggling and balancing.

On the fifth day a small studious little doctor came in to speak with me. I hadn’t planned to be there just then, but my girl had suggested I go visit Dad before I ran my errands instead of after. So I was there when the doc came by. He had the thickest Indian accent I’ve heard in a long time. I work as a freelance transcriptionist and I can tell you I’ve heard people say common words in ways that they are absolutely unrecognizable. So I took off my worried daughter brain and put on my transcription brain and listened as he explained the blockage was malignant. And aggressive. He kept watching me, like he was waiting for me to understand.

I’ll admit, it took me a minute to realize he was telling me Dad had cancer again, and it was going to kill him. Even with the most aggressive treatment he’d maybe last three months. I saw the doc relax a little when he realized I understood. He was so kind as he reminded me how Dad was barely hanging on right now and maybe aggressive cancer treatment wouldn’t be advisable. Clearly he wasn’t positive I got it, so I mentioned that it would be selfish to ask Dad to suffer longer just for me to keep him a few more weeks.

The doc tilted his head and asked me what I do for a living. I didn’t expect the question, so I explained what most of the world understands about my employment. I retired from teaching history at the local community college during COVID. He nodded and smiled a little and said he’d figured it was a college job. It’s nice to know when I’m faced with super important life decisions my inner academic steps up and takes care of business.

So it was done. Dad’s doctor who had been treating him since the ER came down to talk to me and clarify, meanwhile I’d spoken with all the family about their opinions. Yes. Make him comfortable. Take the tube out of his nose, stop the adrenaline drip, give him morphine and let him fall asleep. She asked me if I understood he’d probably not last more than a few hours without all of the interventions. I did. It had been the central fact I’d talked with my spouse, my sister, and my kids about.

My oldest son got there before they changed anything. He’d called his dad, my ex-husband, and something in that conversation had inspired my ex to come join us in Dad’s room. It was a little awkward for a few minutes, but then the nurses came and started taking care of Dad.

I watched the monitor. His blood pressure began to drop, then it went below the point the nurse had told me was the threshold for his organs to function properly. His heart was still going at over 100.

Dying is hard to watch. His breathing became labored, and they kept upping the morphine but it never was enough to put him totally out of it. At one point he stopped breathing long enough we thought it was over, then he took a big old loud breath and my ex almost fell out of his chair and the nurse even jumped. We laughed so hard, a good laugh, recognizing that Dad snuck one more joke in and it was a good one.

My sister who lives a few states away called me. I hadn’t expected it. I had just let my son take Dad’s hand and stepped back a little, and it was just as Dad’s heart rate finally started to fall. All I could think to do was give my sister a running report as the heart slowed down. 80, 78, 75, 65, 59, 45, 30, 15, 0. I worried that it seemed crass to keep reporting the numbers like it was some sporting event or election tally, but I wanted her to know exactly when it was done.

So it’s over. The car that should have taken him over an icy cliff last February is in my driveway now. He left a house full of stuff and an inheritance I hadn’t expected, and I’m in business mode now as the executor of his estate. His ashes are right next to Mom’s ashes in my China cabinet until the family gets organized.

That all happened almost a month ago. There’s something about writing it down here and hitting the send button that brings me some relief. Closure, maybe? I don’t know. But now we forge ahead, all the parents have gone and holy shit we’re the ones in charge now. Good luck, y’all. And if you read all of this, thank you.

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