#how to start an investment fund
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snickerdoodlles · 15 hours ago
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...ngl, enron musk acting like he can do to the US federal budget what he did to twitter is kinda funny
#like my dude budget is congress's job#you get to submit a proposal to Congress who then reconciles it with both houses' planned budget and a spending predictor#how quick does musk quit when he realizes he doesnt get to make unilateral decisions#like sure he already has an uncomfortable amount of power over the government but like. he really doesnt understand what hes signed up for??#trumps tariff plans (''plans'') are going to hit tesla hard#musks companies make a ton of money off government subsidies trump wants to cut. seriously telsas current promises would require serious#government subsidies unless he plans to sell everything at a significant loss#(like. hes gonna delay again obvs because he cant break physics but hes making those promises because hes trying to appease wallstreet.)#(hes in SO much trouble soon if he doesn't start properly investing in development. its upsetting but also pretty funny.)#OH AND the EV market is flat lining a lot because govt hasnt updated or expanded the electrical grid in 50 years. &musk wants to cut funding#like. he signed on to trump because trump doesnt have plans and owes quite a bit to musk#but trump also owes a lot to a ton of other people --several who did more than musk!--#and musk seems to have really bought into trump having the power of a dictator#which is going to hit a lot of snags as other members of his party realize they dont want to cede their power *too*#like???? dear god is it all going to be a hot mess and none of this helps with the insane amount of power musk has amassed#but like. mr chief of tantrums is subjecting himself to GOVERNMENT#when do you think he realizes
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ottawacharge · 3 months ago
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one day i will break and write a manifesto on ottawa and sports arena development and when that happens! please take me out back
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mantisgodsdomain · 1 year ago
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We're going to talk about our cool vampire guy headcanons again. We like to set Monsieur Scarlet as a member of Solenopsis invicta, albeit a very unconventional example of the species. As a fire ant, technically, he is venomous - however, he's not actually had venom production online for decades, and at this point the cost for Making That Bite Work Again far outweighs the perceived benefit.
Would it be directly useful for his survival to be capable of injecting people with venom that causes intense burning sensations? Yes, probably, especially since he's at a scale where the swelling induced would probably take out an arm for hours at a time. He's just not going to fix it, because that takes life force that he could be using for other purposes, like breathing, or keeping his heart running, or having an emergency teleportation stock so that he can fling himself a metre or two in any direction when need be.
#we speak#bug fables#he's brazilian#if you are familiar with this species then it may be because they are INCREDIBLY invasive in like. everywhere theyve been ported#it is partially a joke on how incredibly broadly our version of scarlet travels#hes probably run into a good few other colonies of his species but with how our hc awakening Works he might not have recognized them#and he doesnt precisely hang around long enough to learn about these things#generally members of the species would be a lot more pigmented but wizard biology is weird and scarlet is weirder#which is to say that he's spent a very very long time healing back damage with investments in life force#and cutting down the body running fund enough that he can try to exist in areas that dip below 20 degrees celsius#and these things in combination as it turns out kind of fuck up pigment production in a major way#magic changes your colors much in the same way that mutations usually work#which is to say “it doesn't necessarily change That Specifically but color is one of the least lethal things that can be altered here”#it takes relatively little to change pigment production and Being A Different Color is relatively unlikely to kill you#not that it doesnt affect your life at all but it will not kill you outright and thats really all that needs to be done#he started out a sort of red-brown color and then his carapace just sort of didnt darken like it should normally#and then he wound up on the run and he slowly color shifted to pink over the course of several decades#depending on which canon we're operating in he may have also just totally lost all pigment on one occasion#when he took an unplanned nap and then wound up horror movie-ing some random researchers after losing his higher brain functions#and also a lot of other general functions. like bodily ones. like producing pigment at all.#dont need that underground but he walked out into the light and got flashbanged and immediately decided to not do that again#as it turns out. pigment production is important for some things. like sun protection. you want to be capable of being in the sun.
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we-re-always-alright · 1 year ago
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any time I see people tying minor world events to economics I’m like. that’s not how economics works. I know you want it to be how it works so you can blame someone. but that’s not how it works in any country or global economy.
#it’s like saying gravity only exists on Tuesdays#this is directly looking at two things:#one: saying the FFR (federal funds rate) is why ‘start up’s’ in the gig economy are failing#and two: someone saying we should cause a bank run (multiple bank runs) when we’re still in pre-recession waters#per point one: the FFR is for banks and credit unions and determines what rate at which lending happens#it effects things like housing; car loans; savings accounts; etc because it sets a floor at which interest rates have to be#it does not affect how much money VCs pour into companies they think are going to be worth billions#which VCs pour money into them so they get a % of the company as stock#so they’re incentivized for the company to do well and make them a profit when they go public#not to say these companies might not have traditional bank loans but it’s very unlikely for the amount they’re spending#additionally as we all should have learned from the Glass-Stegel act and the 08 crash#banks need to keep their commercial investments and consumer investments separate#so yes these companies are failing…. but for other reasons like increased regulation; changing preferences in the consumer and economy;#but MOSTLY they were unsustainable businesses at the onset; they didn’t need to be profitable; just go public and make billions on stock#now for point two this one is simple: IF YOU CAUSE MULTIPLE BANK RUNS#THEY BECOME A SELF FULFILLING PROPHECY#AND THEN MORE BANKS FAIL AND WE GET A RECESSION#all caps were necessary here#if you look at the Great Depression (a great example of a banking panic)#not all of the banks were initially failing#but by people panicking about their money (and a lack of the FDIC at the time)#but because people panicked and pulled their money out the banks failed anyway and caused the worst recession in US history#so yes feel free to cause a banking run and tank the economy#it’s likely Europe will enter a recession in the next 6 months so please exacerbate the situation#(which because global economy will push us further into possible recession)#I’m sure people will have plenty of time to feel smug and superior while sitting on a mattress of cash and looking for jobs#ugh anyway bad economics bothers me#just cause you watched a dude rant about it on YouTube (when he doesn’t know what a Phillips curve is) doesn’t mean you know economics#thoughts? thoughts#or: wHy DoNt YoU jUsT bAlAnCe ThE eCoNoMy LiKe My ChEcKbOoK
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sufficientlylargen · 9 months ago
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Story Concept: Star-crossed lovers, destined to fall in love but be kept apart, except they don't actually have any interest in each other, the stars are just super obsessed with shipping them for some reason.
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#the stars want them to have a doomed romance but they have to fall in love first#so they keep having every possible romantic meet-cute#they both have to look both ways before leaving any coffee shop to make sure they're not about to bump into the other#if one of them decides to go on vacation the other will just randomly be there for unrelated reasons#they end up in the same car on rideshare apps on at least a weekly basis#and every time they're just like 'oh hey... you again...'#and the stars are up there chanting 'kiss! kiss! kiss!' but the two are just kinda sitting awkwardly in their uber#like 'you seem nice but I'm not really into that'#'oh yeah me either'#they also don't actually have that much in common#so they become sort of acquaintances but never really close friends#meanwhile there are already 10k fics about them on A3O#(archive of arcane astrological orbs)#they do sometimes dogsit for each other#in part because it's really convenient knowing that they can pick any dog park to walk to and the other will randomly be there#later on they turn out to have a mutual friend who's an engineer and part-time con artist#and she figures out how to exploit the random factors that lead to them always running into each other to win big on the stock market#turns out they can make pretty much anything happen if they're careful about choosing where to go based on seemingly random factors#the three start an investment business together and help fund hundreds of clean energy and community revitalization projects#and slowly change the world for the better#they call their business 'The Star-Shipped Enterprise'
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champstorymedia · 28 days ago
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2024's Financial Landscape: Trends Transforming Investment Strategies
The financial landscape of 2024 is set to undergo significant transformations shaped by evolving technology, shifting consumer behaviors, and economic dynamics. Investors are increasingly adapting their strategies to navigate this complex and dynamic environment. Understanding these trends is crucial for making informed decisions that align with future opportunities. This article delves deep into…
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hexastitchimera · 2 months ago
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Y'know, it's cases like Orchard's (and even "hunter" personalities like Mamämax) that make me genuinely perplexed on why predatory individuals will ride the highest horse against their own behaviour. I know it's a way to deflect attention from their own nasty shit, but it's always a self-defeating method once the same community that rallied in their name learns about the contrary.
What's worse is that they can fall from upon high into the deepest shit, and have the gall to walk right back into the townsquare, covered in their crimes like nothing happened.
Often enough, some- if not many- of the townsfolk will re-cover their eyes with wool too.
#vee vibrates#“You are not immune to propaganda” really fuckin applies here because even *I myself* (as a young unaware teen having survived horrors) ...#... looked to Max for hope. That people cared about bringing justice to survivors when the courts were too lazy and negligent to.#Again I was just a teen who had been taught L&R that people like Chris Hansen were Saviors of Children in the flesh.#So as I grew up and Max's details/videos started fumbling I realized that something was wrong with how invested he was in his cause.#The “I could cancel you Charlie bc I'm the ped hunter” comment made me realize what a megalomaniac he was & how he profitted from his role.#This isn't to say that ALL advocates for something are bad people trying to hide their sins. B&W thinking like that gets people killed.#But it's mindboggling to see those who make their advocacy their entire identity/reason for living often be the same perps of the same abuse#Again absolutely not always. I think the biggest distinguisher is seeing what an advocate is getting out of their work.#If their goals are outward-oriented (i.e bettering life for all) with little to no financial benefit then it's hopefully a noble indicator.#If there is a pull to “amass funds to help the cause” and that money is solely going to the advocate for them to “distribute themselves”#I'd wager that's a massive red flag because even in my own experiences with IRL advocacy & organizing. it. doesn't happen like that.#Dons are carefully stored with and kept track of via 3rd parties BECAUSE dons are heavily preyed upon by misery profiteers joining the cause#(This is ofc highly dependent on if access to 3rd parties is around; something that causes like for 🍉 have to adjust around for example)#But yeah huge red flag if the advocate is not only trying to get all the spotlight away from actual sufferers/victims but the money too.#Orchard & Max are extremely alike in this regard even if Orchard's “advocacy” is just more bigotry lol.
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phantomrose96 · 8 months ago
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If anyone wants to know why every tech company in the world right now is clamoring for AI like drowned rats scrabbling to board a ship, I decided to make a post to explain what's happening.
(Disclaimer to start: I'm a software engineer who's been employed full time since 2018. I am not a historian nor an overconfident Youtube essayist, so this post is my working knowledge of what I see around me and the logical bridges between pieces.)
Okay anyway. The explanation starts further back than what's going on now. I'm gonna start with the year 2000. The Dot Com Bubble just spectacularly burst. The model of "we get the users first, we learn how to profit off them later" went out in a no-money-having bang (remember this, it will be relevant later). A lot of money was lost. A lot of people ended up out of a job. A lot of startup companies went under. Investors left with a sour taste in their mouth and, in general, investment in the internet stayed pretty cooled for that decade. This was, in my opinion, very good for the internet as it was an era not suffocating under the grip of mega-corporation oligarchs and was, instead, filled with Club Penguin and I Can Haz Cheezburger websites.
Then around the 2010-2012 years, a few things happened. Interest rates got low, and then lower. Facebook got huge. The iPhone took off. And suddenly there was a huge new potential market of internet users and phone-havers, and the cheap money was available to start backing new tech startup companies trying to hop on this opportunity. Companies like Uber, Netflix, and Amazon either started in this time, or hit their ramp-up in these years by shifting focus to the internet and apps.
Now, every start-up tech company dreaming of being the next big thing has one thing in common: they need to start off by getting themselves massively in debt. Because before you can turn a profit you need to first spend money on employees and spend money on equipment and spend money on data centers and spend money on advertising and spend money on scale and and and
But also, everyone wants to be on the ship for The Next Big Thing that takes off to the moon.
So there is a mutual interest between new tech companies, and venture capitalists who are willing to invest $$$ into said new tech companies. Because if the venture capitalists can identify a prize pig and get in early, that money could come back to them 100-fold or 1,000-fold. In fact it hardly matters if they invest in 10 or 20 total bust projects along the way to find that unicorn.
But also, becoming profitable takes time. And that might mean being in debt for a long long time before that rocket ship takes off to make everyone onboard a gazzilionaire.
But luckily, for tech startup bros and venture capitalists, being in debt in the 2010's was cheap, and it only got cheaper between 2010 and 2020. If people could secure loans for ~3% or 4% annual interest, well then a $100,000 loan only really costs $3,000 of interest a year to keep afloat. And if inflation is higher than that or at least similar, you're still beating the system.
So from 2010 through early 2022, times were good for tech companies. Startups could take off with massive growth, showing massive potential for something, and venture capitalists would throw infinite money at them in the hopes of pegging just one winner who will take off. And supporting the struggling investments or the long-haulers remained pretty cheap to keep funding.
You hear constantly about "Such and such app has 10-bazillion users gained over the last 10 years and has never once been profitable", yet the thing keeps chugging along because the investors backing it aren't stressed about the immediate future, and are still banking on that "eventually" when it learns how to really monetize its users and turn that profit.
The pandemic in 2020 took a magnifying-glass-in-the-sun effect to this, as EVERYTHING was forcibly turned online which pumped a ton of money and workers into tech investment. Simultaneously, money got really REALLY cheap, bottoming out with historic lows for interest rates.
Then the tide changed with the massive inflation that struck late 2021. Because this all-gas no-brakes state of things was also contributing to off-the-rails inflation (along with your standard-fare greedflation and price gouging, given the extremely convenient excuses of pandemic hardships and supply chain issues). The federal reserve whipped out interest rate hikes to try to curb this huge inflation, which is like a fire extinguisher dousing and suffocating your really-cool, actively-on-fire party where everyone else is burning but you're in the pool. And then they did this more, and then more. And the financial climate followed suit. And suddenly money was not cheap anymore, and new loans became expensive, because loans that used to compound at 2% a year are now compounding at 7 or 8% which, in the language of compounding, is a HUGE difference. A $100,000 loan at a 2% interest rate, if not repaid a single cent in 10 years, accrues to $121,899. A $100,000 loan at an 8% interest rate, if not repaid a single cent in 10 years, more than doubles to $215,892.
Now it is scary and risky to throw money at "could eventually be profitable" tech companies. Now investors are watching companies burn through their current funding and, when the companies come back asking for more, investors are tightening their coin purses instead. The bill is coming due. The free money is drying up and companies are under compounding pressure to produce a profit for their waiting investors who are now done waiting.
You get enshittification. You get quality going down and price going up. You get "now that you're a captive audience here, we're forcing ads or we're forcing subscriptions on you." Don't get me wrong, the plan was ALWAYS to monetize the users. It's just that it's come earlier than expected, with way more feet-to-the-fire than these companies were expecting. ESPECIALLY with Wall Street as the other factor in funding (public) companies, where Wall Street exhibits roughly the same temperament as a baby screaming crying upset that it's soiled its own diaper (maybe that's too mean a comparison to babies), and now companies are being put through the wringer for anything LESS than infinite growth that Wall Street demands of them.
Internal to the tech industry, you get MASSIVE wide-spread layoffs. You get an industry that used to be easy to land multiple job offers shriveling up and leaving recent graduates in a desperately awful situation where no company is hiring and the market is flooded with laid-off workers trying to get back on their feet.
Because those coin-purse-clutching investors DO love virtue-signaling efforts from companies that say "See! We're not being frivolous with your money! We only spend on the essentials." And this is true even for MASSIVE, PROFITABLE companies, because those companies' value is based on the Rich Person Feeling Graph (their stock) rather than the literal profit money. A company making a genuine gazillion dollars a year still tears through layoffs and freezes hiring and removes the free batteries from the printer room (totally not speaking from experience, surely) because the investors LOVE when you cut costs and take away employee perks. The "beer on tap, ping pong table in the common area" era of tech is drying up. And we're still unionless.
Never mind that last part.
And then in early 2023, AI (more specifically, Chat-GPT which is OpenAI's Large Language Model creation) tears its way into the tech scene with a meteor's amount of momentum. Here's Microsoft's prize pig, which it invested heavily in and is galivanting around the pig-show with, to the desperate jealousy and rapture of every other tech company and investor wishing it had that pig. And for the first time since the interest rate hikes, investors have dollar signs in their eyes, both venture capital and Wall Street alike. They're willing to restart the hose of money (even with the new risk) because this feels big enough for them to take the risk.
Now all these companies, who were in varying stages of sweating as their bill came due, or wringing their hands as their stock prices tanked, see a single glorious gold-plated rocket up out of here, the likes of which haven't been seen since the free money days. It's their ticket to buy time, and buy investors, and say "see THIS is what will wring money forth, finally, we promise, just let us show you."
To be clear, AI is NOT profitable yet. It's a money-sink. Perhaps a money-black-hole. But everyone in the space is so wowed by it that there is a wide-spread and powerful conviction that it will become profitable and earn its keep. (Let's be real, half of that profit "potential" is the promise of automating away jobs of pesky employees who peskily cost money.) It's a tech-space industrial revolution that will automate away skilled jobs, and getting in on the ground floor is the absolute best thing you can do to get your pie slice's worth.
It's the thing that will win investors back. It's the thing that will get the investment money coming in again (or, get it second-hand if the company can be the PROVIDER of something needed for AI, which other companies with venture-back will pay handsomely for). It's the thing companies are terrified of missing out on, lest it leave them utterly irrelevant in a future where not having AI-integration is like not having a mobile phone app for your company or not having a website.
So I guess to reiterate on my earlier point:
Drowned rats. Swimming to the one ship in sight.
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probablyasocialecologist · 4 months ago
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The economic indicators speak of nothing less than an economic catastrophe. Over 46,000 businesses have gone bankrupt, tourism has stopped, Israel’s credit rating was lowered, Israeli bonds are sold at the prices of almost “junk bonds” levels, and the foreign investments that have already dropped by 60% in the first quarter of 2023 (as a result of the policies of Israel’s far-right government before October 7) show no prospects of recovery. The majority of the money invested in Israeli investment funds was diverted to investments abroad because Israelis do not want their own pension funds and insurance funds or their own savings to be tied to the fate of the State of Israel. This has caused a surprising stability in the Israeli stock market because funds invested in foreign stocks and bonds generated profit in foreign currency, which was multiplied by the rise in the exchange rate between foreign currencies and the Israeli Shekel. But then Intel scuttled a $25 billion investment plan in Israel, the biggest BDS victory ever.  These are all financial indicators. But the crisis strikes deeper at the means of production of the Israeli economy. Israel’s power grid, which has largely switched to natural gas, still depends on coal to supply demand. The biggest supplier of coal to Israel is Colombia, which announced that it would suspend coal shipments to Israel as long as the genocide was ongoing. After Colombia, the next two biggest suppliers are South Africa and Russia. Without reliable and continuous electricity, Israel will no longer be able to pretend to be a developed economy. Server farms do not work without 24-hour power, and no one knows how many blackouts the Israeli high-tech sector could potentially survive. International tech companies have already started closing their branches in Israel. Israel’s reputation as a “startup nation” depends on its tech sector, which in turn depends on highly educated employees. Israeli academics report that joint research with universities abroad has declined sharply thanks to the efforts of student encampments. Israeli newspapers are full of articles about the exodus of educated Israelis. Prof. Dan Ben David, a famous economist, argued that the Israeli economy is held together by 300,000 people (the senior staff in universities, tech companies, and hospitals). Once a significant portion of these people leaves, he says, “We won’t become a third world country, we just won’t be anymore.” 
19 July 2024
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scottishcommune · 5 months ago
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Below the cut is a template email to send to Edinburgh Pride regarding sponsorship from Aegon, who have investments linked to the genocide in Palestine. Please feel free to use this text or edit it and make it your own and send it to [email protected]
Dear Edinburgh Pride,
As a queer person living in Edinburgh, I was deeply saddened to learn that the march partner for Edinburgh Pride 2024 is Aegon.
In December 2023 the ‘Don’t Buy Into Occupation Coalition’ published a report that showed Aegon have US$564million invested via shares and bonds in companies operating in illegal settlements in Occupied Palestinian Territories. Source: https://dontbuyintooccupation.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/12/2023_DBIO-III-Report_11-December-2023.pdf
We are watching a live-streamed genocide every day - over 36,000 people in Palestine have been murdered by Israeli forces, including at least 15,000 children. The brutality of these atrocities are unthinkable, with evidence of torture and targeting of hospitals, ambulances and refugee camps.
We all have a responsibility to do what we can to end this genocide. As queer people, we are part of a rich history of resisting oppression and dehumanisation - of both ourselves and those we stand in solidarity with. Pride started as a protest against homophobia, transphobia and police violence. It is an important moment to come together as a community to celebrate queer joy and resilience.
But how can we celebrate using profits stained with the blood of our siblings in Palestine?
Aegon has $564million invested in companies that have been listed by the UN as “raising human rights concerns” for their operations in illegal settlements in Occupied Palestinian Territories, In 1948, 750,000 Palestinian people were displaced from their homes and lands and since then, Israeli settlements have been used to spread this process of colonisation.
In addition to this figure, Aegon also has major investments in Eaton Corp Plc., who supply parts for helicopters and fighter jets to the Israeli military and have recently been the target of major protests at their factory in Dorset. They also invest in Amazon, who support the Israeli military with surveillance technology used against Palestians.
Israel has long used ‘pinkwashing’ as a tactic to justify the brutal repression of Palestinians, using queer people to legitimise this horrific violence. We refuse to allow this to be done in our name.
The tide is turning on companies like Aegon that profit from investments in the companies complicit in genocide. Recently, both Hay and Edinburgh Book Festival have dropped Baillie Gifford as a sponsor after over 800 authors called on them to divest from companies involved in Israel and the fossil fuel industry.
I ask that Edinburgh Pride:
Calls on Aegon to commit to divest from companies involved in supplying technology to Israel and operating in illegal settlements.
Drop Aegon as a sponsor until they are able to show evidence of divestment.
Publicly call for a ceasefire and a free Palestine.
There is no pride in genocide.
I look forward to hearing your response.
XX
Sources:
Investments in companies operating in illegal settlements https://dontbuyintooccupation.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/12/2023_DBIO-III-Report_11-December-2023.pdf
Investments in Eaton https://extranet.secure.aegon.co.uk/static/sxhub/pdf/client-pen-distribution.pdf
Investments in Amazon https://www.aegon.co.uk/content/dam/auk/assets/publication/fund-factsheet/standard_bkj9zs0.pdf
Israel’s pinkwashing: https://bdsmovement.net/pinkwashing
War on Gaza statistics: https://www.aljazeera.com/news/longform/2023/10/9/israel-hamas-war-in-maps-and-charts-live-tracker
Edinburgh book festival ends Baillie Gifford sponsorship: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cm553zrr3e4o
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personal-finance8 · 1 year ago
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Where to Invest I Index Funds I Beginners Guide
Where to Invest for Beginners? How to get started with investment? Is it good to invest in Index Funds? Let's answer these question in this video below.
Diversification is a key element of a balanced portfolio. There is a plethora of investment options to choose from and it is a good practice to invest your funds across different asset classes. An Index fund is like a mutual fund and exactly imitates an index (e.g., Nifty 50, Bank Nifty, Nifty Midcap, etc.). It thus helps in diversifying your investment and mitigates the risk of your equity portfolio.
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pomefioredove · 7 months ago
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now I'm actually invested in this idea. maybe I'll write a full length fic someday idk... for now I have short hcs
parts 1 | 2 | 3 | kalim | bad ending
summary: crowley decides to "give away" yuu to the highest "donation" for financial reasons type of post: headcanons characters: all nrc students additional info: can be read as platonic or romantic, except malleus is pretty romantic, second person pov, yuu is gender neutral, maybe a little ooc I wrote this as soon as I got up
crowley has had his fair share of "what the fuck" moments from you but this was really taking the cake
he acts so... casual about it?
swaggers into ramshackle one morning and says times are tough and your personal expenses are straining the budget so he's decided to "put you in someone else's care"
"The screening process will be vigorous to make sure you end up in good hands!" like you're a cat or something "Your expenses will be covered and you'll have somewhere to go during break!"
okay great. pretty obvious you have no say in this, so you don't even argue. what's the worst that could happen?
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
Ace, Deuce, Jack, and Epel find you the next day to say they're pooling their money to buy you
"To what?"
Epel shrugs. "Oh, well Crowley said we need to offer a donation to prove we're capable of supporting you..."
(you think that if not for the laws of this land you would have slaughtered that old fart)
Jack goes on a really long tirade about how shady and underhanded this is, making sure to reaffirm that he believes you should be free to make your own choices
"So you'll let me go once you get me?"
"Uhhh..."
Ace thinks once they buy you you'll have no choice but to do all of his homework for him
Deuce says that's not really how it works- and even if he tried, Riddle would kill him
(they've already gone over this twice before finding you)
Epel happily volunteers to take you home with him over breaks, probably the only positive in this mess
even if he thinks the whole thing is kind of funny
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
incapable of keeping his mouth shut, Ace accidentally spills the plan to Riddle, who is understandably aghast
you can't just give away a person under your care like a toy!
of all the irresponsible things...
of course, he'll have to put up his offer, too
purely for your sake! with a nicer room and a brand new copy of the dorm rules, maybe you'll stop getting yourself into trouble
he's got some family money (doctors, naturally) and considers this a worthwhile purchase, for his sanity and yours
of course, Trey and Cater overhear and may or may not be pooling their own cash for a chance, too
going behind Riddle's back on this is a risky venture, but hey, someone's gotta be on your side, here, right?
I mean, between a bunch of sixteen year old boys, the housewarden, and them, who would you choose?
actually don't answer that
...not that it's much of a secret, anyway. Cater's already got their gofundme equivalent link in bio
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
Leona initially plans to have you become a live-in lackey like Ruggie
but then he really starts thinking- and, hey, the possibilities are endless, right?
for one, you'd make a really good pillow
he might have to kick Grim out for your full attention, but you could learn to live with that
and malleus would hate it
...that's reason enough for him
plus, he's got money to burn, so why not?
either way, he sets his bid at a reasonable (maybe too confident) price and sits back to watch the chaos unfold as everyone scrambles for a piece of the pie
news travels fast around school, after all
then Ruggie finds out that you could dethrone him as Leona's #2 and is understandably a little annoyed
that's his cushy post-grad job gig, thank you! he's worked hard for that!
besides, why should Leona get to hoard you? the guy can barely take care of himself!
so, Ruggie ends up outsourcing to a few dozen classmates for the necessary funds at a steep I-owe-you price
he's gonna be eating nothing but dandelions for a while...
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
now, Azul is annoyed
once the news goes school-wide, it's all anyone can talk about
talk about good marketing...
why didn't he think of such a brilliant scam? he could have negotiated with Crowley to have a café brand deal tie-in!
of course, he's already set his bid, with Jade and Floyd offering to pitch in as necessary
it's a risky investment, sure, but a worthwhile one
Azul tells everyone that with the prefect's "obvious" popularity, having them at the café a few nights a week would drive sales through the roof
though that's really just what he says to shirk suspicion
a likely excuse coming from him, though, really, it would just be nice having you around
and if not for his own affections, Floyd's incessant begging and Jade's subtly manipulative comments about "how nice" it would be having a new face around would be enough for him to cave eventually
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
"Kalim, no," is the first thing that Jamil says
"I strongly advise against this. It's another one of Crowley's silly scams and you could end up a target bec- are you even listening?"
hint: he is not
the second Kalim found out that he could get to take in his favorite magicless student like one of his treasures, he was all over it
(AKA infinite sleepovers)
and for what? a little optional donation to prove he's got the funds? he's got cash to spare!
he's already got your new room in Scarabia set up before he even puts his bid in
right next to his of course :)
and despite what Jamil insists, he himself might be working behind the curtain just a little to ensure he's the one who ends up with you
after all, why should Kalim get everything? this might be a valuable learning opportunity for him
You don't always get what you want
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
as much as Epel tries to keep the rest of his dorm from finding out, it's inevitable
he's actually a little surprised that the news didn't get to Vil sooner
with Rook around campus, surely he must have said something...
when Vil does find out, though, he just sighs
oh, of course. what next, will everyone meet each other in the arena and fight to the death over the prefect?
of all the silly, immature things...
oh? what's that? he's bidding anyway? of course he is, silly potato. he can't have some unwashed miscreant making you sleep on polyester bedding
(really, he's the only person on campus worthy of your time)
Rook has also been mysteriously absent from the dorm lately, though his initials on a poem and a strangely large sum of money end up in the donation pile
but really, that could be anyone... Rook would never dare betray Vil again, right?
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
Ortho finds out directly from the other first years and sends Idia the details immediately
with a little note of encouragement, of course: "could be excellent for improving your social skills!"
Idia understandably freaks out
"WTF!!!! nooo way! this is a person, not a chatbot we're talking about here! I can barely keep virtual pets alive!!!!"
(liar)
(...but this is still different)
the conversation ends there, but semi-anonymous bid from someone named "gloomurai" gets cashapp'd directly to crowley
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
everyone in the room immediately turns to Malleus
"For the record, I think it's wrong to be bargaining over a human being," Silver says first. "But if anyone could handle it with grace, it's you."
Lilia laughs. "Oh, you're just saying that because you like the prefect so much!"
"Father, you're the one who likes the prefect so much,"
"Oh, right! carry on then. After all, I'm sure we could share,"
Sebek is the only one relatively against the idea, though Lilia luckily manages to get him to lower his voice after his third speech about how you aren't good enough for his liege
Malleus is rather quiet through the whole evening, neither agreeing nor disagreeing with any of the points made
he disappears for a short while, and when he comes back he seems a little more confident
though, of course, he goes to you first
seeing him at Ramshackle in the middle of the night is a familiar and welcoming sight after all of the chaos of your week
and he's in a great mood!
"Child of man! I've come with news," he says. "I have heard of your predicament and have come up with a solution!"
you immediately sulk. "Oh, no. You know I think this whole thing is terrible, right?"
"Yes, Silver mentioned you might not like the idea of being bought and sold like a trinket. But worry not, I do not plan on paying for you in money,"
you pause, at a loss for words, and then tentatively continue. "You're not...?"
"Of course not. What a primitive idea, I was baffled to hear it myself. My proposal will be more traditional: a modest sum of treasure, and a generous amount of livestock and the finest crop Briar Valley can offer,"
certainly he's not this naive, you think
"You really think Crowley is going to accept that over money? I'm pretty sure Kalim just bid away an entire country's worth,"
he laughs. "You speak as if this is some kind of business deal! I'm quite confident that my dowry will be best,"
huh. that was a strange way of putting it
but then again, you still didn't really understand how things work here, so you go along with it
and you allow yourself to relax. he seems confident in his offer, and he doesn't even see you as some kind of prize to win!
"Oh, well, alright. Thanks! I'm glad you're on it,"
he smiles. "Rest assured, child of man, you're in good hands. My dowry will far outshine the others, and the wedding will be even better,"
"I was honestly getting a little nervous for a momen- wait- wedding!?"
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secretstime · 1 year ago
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confused-and-dickless · 2 years ago
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In the latest instalment of my personal divine comedy: I've spent all my spare emotional and mental energy on understanding chemistry (which I still don't understand) and now I'm about to take a biology exam over diabetes- a disease THAT I HAVE. And I am fairly sure I'm not gonna do great friends.
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stream · 16 days ago
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Eva Longoria saved ‘John Wick’ (2014) from getting canceled by putting up $6M less than 24 hours before production started due to an unexpected gap in the film’s funding
She later said it was ‘the best money’ she’d ever spent
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dandelionsresilience · 3 months ago
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Good News - July 22-28
Like these weekly compilations? Tip me at $kaybarr1735 or check out my new(ly repurposed) Patreon!
1. Four new cheetah cubs born in Saudi Arabia after 40 years of extinction
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“[T]he discovery of mummified cheetahs in caves […] which ranged in age from 4,000 to as recent as 120 years, proved that the animals […] once called [Saudi Arabia] home. The realisation kick-started the country’s Cheetah Conservation Program to bring back the cats to their historic Arabian range. […] Dr Mohammed Qurban, CEO of the NCW, said: […] “This motivates us to continue our efforts to restore and reintroduce cheetahs, guided by an integrated strategy designed in accordance with best international practices.””
2. In sub-Saharan Africa, ‘forgotten’ foods could boost climate resilience, nutrition
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“[A study published in PNAS] examined “forgotten” crops that may help make sub-Saharan food systems more resilient, and more nutritious, as climate change makes it harder to grow [current staple crops.] [… The study identified 138 indigenous] food crops that were “relatively underresearched, underutilized, or underpromoted in an African context,” but which have the nutrient content and growing stability to support healthy diets and local economies in the region. […] In Eswatini, van Zonneveld and the World Vegetable Center are working with schools to introduce hardy, underutilized vegetables to their gardens, which have typically only grown beans and maize.”
3. Here's how $4 billion in government money is being spent to reduce climate pollution
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“[New Orleans was awarded] nearly $50 million to help pay for installing solar on low to middle income homes [… and] plans to green up underserved areas with trees and build out its lackluster bike lane system to provide an alternative to cars. […] In Utah, $75 million will fund several measures from expanding electric vehicles to reducing methane emissions from oil and gas production. [… A] coalition of states led by North Carolina will look to store carbon in lands used for agriculture as well as natural places like wetlands, with more than $400 million. [… This funding is] “providing investments in communities, new jobs, cost savings for everyday Americans, improved air quality, … better health outcomes.””
4. From doom scrolling to hope scrolling: this week’s big Democratic vibe shift
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“[Democrats] have been on an emotional rollercoaster for the past few weeks: from grim determination as Biden fought to hang on to his push for a second term, to outright exuberance after he stepped aside and Harris launched her campaign. […] In less than a week, the Harris campaign raised record-breaking sums and signed up more than 100,000 new volunteers[….] This honeymoon phase will end, said Democratic strategist Guy Cecil, warning the election will be a close race, despite this newfound exuberance in his party. [… But v]oters are saying they are excited to vote for Harris and not just against Trump. That’s new.”
5. Biodegradable luminescent polymers show promise for reducing electronic waste
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“[A team of scientists discovered that a certain] chemical enables the recycling of [luminescent polymers] while maintaining high light-emitting functions. […] At the end of life, this new polymer can be degraded under either mild acidic conditions (near the pH of stomach acid) or relatively low heat treatment (> 410 F). The resulting materials can be isolated and remade into new materials for future applications. […] The researchers predict this new polymer can be applied to existing technologies, such as displays and medical imaging, and enable new applications […] such as cell phones and computer screens with continued testing.”
6. World’s Biggest Dam Removal Project to Open 420 Miles of Salmon Habitat this Fall
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“Reconnecting the river will help salmon and steelhead populations survive a warming climate and [natural disasters….] In the long term, dam removal will significantly improve water quality in the Klamath. “Algae problems in the reservoirs behind the dams were so bad that the water was dangerous for contact […] and not drinkable,” says Fluvial Geomorphologist Brian Cluer. [… The project] will begin to reverse decades of habitat degradation, allow threatened salmon species to be resilient in the face of climate change, and restore tribal connections to their traditional food source.”
7. Biden-Harris Administration Awards $45.1 Million to Expand Mental Health and Substance Use Services Across the Lifespan
““Be it fostering wellness in young people, caring for the unhoused, facilitating treatment and more, this funding directly supports the needs of our neighbors,” said HHS Secretary Xavier Becerra. [The funding also supports] recovery and reentry services to adults in the criminal justice system who have a substance use disorder[… and clinics which] serve anyone who asks for help for mental health or substance use, regardless of their ability to pay.”
8. The World’s Rarest Crow Will Soon Fly Free on Maui
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“[… In] the latest attempt to establish a wild crow population, biologists will investigate if this species can thrive on Maui, an island where it may have never lived before. Translocations outside of a species’ known historical range are rare in conservation work, but for a bird on the brink of extinction, it’s a necessary experiment: Scientists believe the crows will be safer from predators in a new locale—a main reason that past reintroduction attempts failed. […] As the release date approaches, the crows have already undergone extensive preparation for life in the wild. […] “We try to give them the respect that you would give if you were caring for someone’s elder.””
9. An optimist’s guide to the EV battery mining challenge
““Battery minerals have a tremendous benefit over oil, and that’s that you can reuse them.” [… T]he report’s authors found there’s evidence to suggest that [improvements in technology] and recycling have already helped limit demand for battery minerals in spite of this rapid growth — and that further improvements can reduce it even more. [… They] envision a scenario in which new mining for battery materials can basically stop by 2050, as battery recycling meets demand. In this fully realized circular battery economy, the world must extract a total of 125 million tons of battery minerals — a sum that, while hefty, is actually 17 times smaller than the oil currently harvested every year to fuel road transport.”
10. Peekaboo! A baby tree kangaroo debuts at the Bronx Zoo
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“The tiny Matschie’s tree kangaroo […] was the third of its kind born at the Bronx Zoo since 2008. [… A] Bronx Zoo spokesperson said that the kangaroo's birth was significant for the network of zoos that aims to preserve genetic diversity among endangered animals. "It's a small population and because of that births are not very common," said Jessica Moody, curator of primates and small mammals at the Bronx Zoo[, …] adding that baby tree kangaroos are “possibly one of the cutest animals to have ever lived. They look like stuffed animals, it's amazing.””
July 15-21 news here | (all credit for images and written material can be found at the source linked; I don’t claim credit for anything but curating.)
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