#how to overcome perfectionism

[you10tubesworld]

Say goodbye to the endless pursuit of perfection and learn how to embrace imperfection and find true happiness. Watch and enjoy! Granny Ronna. P.S. Here is the "My Mind" visual app I reference in this video:    / @takebackmymind   And if you like my content, consider subscribing here:    / @grannyronna  

[aaliyawrites]

From Perfectionism to Progress: Aaliya's Story of Breaking Free from Procrastination

Hey there, I’m Aaliya, the pen with a story to tell. I’ve been with my human, V, since 2018, and trust me, it’s been quite the journey. I’ve seen her smile, cry, win, lose, fall in love, and sink into some deep pain. Her path’s been full of confusion, heavy expectations, and, well, let’s just say, a lot of procrastination. But through it all, she’s kept going. That takes courage — even if she’d never admit it.

You see, V’s methods aren’t always the best (and yes, sometimes they suck), but her heart is in the right place. This blog? It’s not about her past (at least, not all of it). It’s about where she’s at right now. But hey, a little context never hurt anyone, right?

V’s Battle with Perfectionism: The Journey to Self-Acceptance

Let’s get one thing straight: V is human. Shocking, right? You’re probably rolling your eyes, but it’s important. She forgets that a lot. In her world, her worth is tied up in accomplishments — money, looks, killer communication skills, friendships, or finding her "perfect" crew (think Luffy’s gang, for you anime fans).

She’s convinced that if she doesn’t check all those boxes, she’s just… not enough. She believes that if she doesn’t have it all, people will leave her behind. And if you’re sitting there thinking, "Well, that’s wrong," you’re absolutely right. But does she know that? Sure. Does she feel it, though? Not quite.

Knowing something’s wrong doesn’t mean you can magically stop feeling it.

Meet the Monster of Procrastination

For too long, V has been stuck battling Profecta — the monster born from perfectionism and procrastination. She’s caught in an exhausting loop where her efforts never feel good enough, and there’s always something more she thinks she should have done. This creates a void inside, filled with guilt and shame, which leads to procrastination — a victory for Profecta, her inner perfectionism.

Has she tried to escape this cycle? Absolutely. But she usually lasts 3-7 days before something breaks her rhythm. Overload or distraction stops her, and it takes her another 1-2 months to get back on track.

Love, Loss, and a Whole Lot of Mess

V, like anyone in their twenties, has loved with all she had. Her first love? Miss K. Yep, Miss. But Miss K didn’t return those feelings. She wasn’t interested in girls, in general. Even though V never fully accepted her feelings or confessed, they stayed friends. Miss K was her Safe Place — full of love, acceptance, care, and support But when their paths diverged, V convinced herself that she wasn’t worthy of Miss K’s time and never contacted her again. Also, those emotions connected to Miss K? Way too overwhelming for V to face.

Two years have passed, and V is still holding on. Too much? Welcome to the mess.

Did she try to move on? Of course! But she couldn’t bring herself to delete Miss K’s number. She’d still watch her stories online, and instead of deleting photos, she just hid them in a folder. Silly, right? But facing her feelings was too hard. So, she buried them under distractions.

Escaping into Fiction: A False Safe Place

When battling the Profecta monster became too much, V sought comfort in a form of escape — creating a fictional world where she felt safe and loved. It became her refuge, but soon it turned into an unhealthy coping mechanism. Instead of preparing for her exams during her gap year, she threw herself into fanfiction, reading it for 13-15 hours a day. Not exaggerating.

She isolated herself from the real world, cut off friends, and stopped replying to messages. Why? Because she felt she wasn’t enough. She’d suffered two huge academic setbacks, and even after taking a gap year, she couldn’t get back on track. The weight of her past failures made the present feel unbearable, so she sought refuge in a fictional world, even at the cost of her health, sleep, and academics.

The Turning Point: Letting Go of Miss K and Fiction

V cared deeply for Miss K and didn’t want to hurt her. She didn’t mind if her escape ruined her, as long as Miss K was safe. But one day, V’s thoughts took a darker turn. She imagined hurting Miss K emotionally, just to make her feel the same pain V was feeling. It shocked her.

That was when V knew she had to change. She deleted Miss K’s number, erased the photos, and cut all ties. She even stopped reading fanfiction — something she had tried and failed to do before.

A New Battle: Seeking Comfort in Unhealthy Escapes

Without her fictional escape, V felt lost. So, she turned to another unhealthy coping mechanism. Let’s just say it involved content that didn’t make her feel any better. She started seeking comfort in role-playing communities, hoping to find real love and comfort. But it only messed with her mental health even more.

Journaling: A Ray of Hope for Healing

Despite all the struggles, there’s been one thing that helps V find her way back: Journaling. When she sticks to it, things start to shift. Journaling helps her process the chaos inside her head. It’s not a perfect solution — she’s had bad days that stop her in her tracks — but it’s a start.

This is why V decided to start writing on Aaliyawrites. Because, let’s face it, Aaliya writes ;) .Through this blog, she hopes to create a space where healing becomes possible, even if the path isn’t always straight.

Building a Community: Sharing Stories and Healing Together

Aaliyawrites isn’t just V’s story. It’s for anyone who’s ever felt lost, stuck, or overwhelmed. V wants this space to be a community where people can share their experiences, support each other, and offer advice. Healing doesn’t happen alone, and through this blog, she hopes to help others feel a little less alone on their journey.

Have you ever battled perfectionism? Or found yourself stuck in an exhausting loop of procrastination? If so, V and I (Aaliya, the pen) would love to hear your story.

George Herbert once said, "Good words are worth much, and cost little."

Your words might be the lifeline someone needs.

So, What’s Next?

V is still figuring things out, but she’s trying. Her journey isn’t linear, and there are still battles with Profecta. But every small step she takes matters. And through Aaliyawrites, she’s hoping to keep moving forward — and hopefully help others do the same.

Please, share your story, give advice, or drop a few words of encouragement. Let’s build a space where we can be open, vulnerable, and support one another on this journey of growth and healing.

Final Thoughts: A New Beginning

This post marks the beginning of something new, not just for V, but for all of us. Together, we can create a space where healing and growth are possible, one step at a time.

Signing off, Aaliya the pen (P.S. — Classic Profecta move: this draft was written four days ago!)

[calltoamentor]

Make Creative Blocks Work For You

As someone who struggles frequently with procrastination and perfectionism, let me tell you from experience that there is no one true way to overcome a creative block, particularly not how to overcome a writer's block.

Procrastination and creative blocks are Hounds that those who seek to join a creative field know all too well. It’s a running joke among creatives, “Haha I should be writing right now but I am doing literally anything else!” Honestly, the most relatable thing in the first season of You is the sequence of Beck alternating between trying to write, random googling, Yoga and fiddling with every…

[nevadawolfe]

The unending desire and need to create vs. the absolute disgust and loathing for every imperfect thing that these two hands try to make

[ghostputty]

i always wish i could’ve followed through w alexia and adonis’s stories because they r so heartfelt and meaningful to me and maybe one day i will actually be able to tell them but for now they’ll sit and simmer in my brain

[mejomonster]

I just reread my first arc for Khan story. I Really want time to write wednesday... ;-; and this weekend

[gotchaocha]

Guess who has perfectionism issues and no technical knowledge on drawing but now has to deliver three drawings next week

[musical-chick-13]

Having Too Many Feelings™ about Lady Macbeth today.

[voguegenics]

Stop Feeling Like a Fraud & Start Crushing Your Goals: Building Better Habits to Banish Imposter Syndrome Forever

💥 Ready to kick imposter syndrome and bad habits to the curb? 🙌 Our latest blog post has you covered with easy, actionable tips to build better habits and silence your inner critic for good.

So, you’re ready to become the best version of yourself—cue inspirational music. But wait. Instead of being a productivity ninja, you’re snacking on chips while doubting every single achievement you’ve ever made. Sound familiar? Yeah, you’re not alone. Imposter syndrome and bad habits are like that terrible ex who just won’t stop showing up in your life, uninvited and always ruining the vibe.…

[financia012]

What Have You Been Putting Off Doing? Why?

What have you been putting off doing? Why? Introduction: We all have that one thing we’ve been meaning to do but somehow never get around to. Whether it’s a personal goal, a long-overdue project, or even a life-changing decision, it lingers in the back of our minds, waiting for “the right time.” But why do we keep putting it off? What is it about certain tasks that makes them so hard to start?…

[arimeghlen]

Ep 209 | The Merry Writer Podcast

In today’s episode, Rachel and I share our own dealings with perfectionism and discuss some methods that can help when dealing with it. “How Do You Deal With The Problem of Perfectionism?” Continue reading Ep 209 | The Merry Writer Podcast

[thewriteadviceforwriters]

Why Writers Don't Finish Writing Their Stories, and How to Fix It

Hello fellow writers and storytellers,

The journey of writing a story is an exhilarating adventure, but it's not without its share of obstacles. Many of us have embarked on a creative endeavor, only to find ourselves mired in the struggle to finish what we started. In this blog post, I'll unravel the common reasons why writers don't finish their stories and explore practical strategies to overcome these hurdles and reignite the flame of creativity.

The Perils of Unfinished Stories

As writers, we often find ourselves in the throes of unfinished tales, grappling with the intricate web of characters, plots, and themes. There are several reasons why the ink dries up and the story remains untold. Let's shine a light on the familiar adversaries that stand between us and the triumphant completion of our narratives:

1. Lack of Planning:

Some of us brazenly dive into our stories without a clear roadmap, resulting in uncertainty about the direction of the plot and the fate of our characters. The lack of a solid plan can lead us astray, leaving our stories wandering in the wilderness of aimlessness.

2. Self-Doubt and Perfectionism:

Ah, the relentless whispers of self-doubt and the siren call of perfectionism! These twin adversaries can cast a shadow over our creative vision, compelling us to endlessly revise and perfect the early chapters, trapping us in a whirlpool of perpetual edits.

3. Time Management:

Balancing the demands of daily life with the ardor of writing can be akin to walking a tightrope. The struggle to find consistent time for our craft often leaves our stories languishing in prolonged periods of inactivity, longing for the touch of our pen.

4. Writer's Block:

The mighty barrier that even the most intrepid writers encounter. Writer's block can be an insurmountable mountain, leaving us stranded in the valleys of creative drought, unable to breathe life into new ideas and narratives.

5. Lack of Motivation:

The flame that once burned brightly can flicker and wane over time, leaving us adrift in the murky waters of disillusionment. The initial excitement for our stories diminishes, making it arduous to stay committed to the crafting process.

6. Fear of Failure or Success:

The twin specters that haunt many writers' dreams. The apprehension of rejection and the unsettling prospect of life-altering success can tether us to the shores of hesitation, preventing us from reaching the shores of completion.

7. Criticism and Feedback Anxiety:

The looming dread of judgment casts a long shadow over our creative endeavors. The mere thought of receiving criticism or feedback, whether from peers or potential readers, can cast a cloud over our storytelling pursuits.

8. Plotting Challenges:

Crafting a cohesive and engaging plot is akin to navigating a labyrinth without a map. Faced with hurdles in connecting story elements, we may find ourselves lost in a maze of plot holes and unresolved threads.

9. Character Development Struggles:

Breathing life into multi-dimensional, relatable characters is a complex art. The intricate process of character development can become a quagmire, ensnaring us in the challenge of creating personas that drive the story forward. (Part one of Character Development Series)

10. Life Events and Distractions:

Unexpected events in our personal lives can cast ripples on our writing routines, interrupting the flow of our creativity and causing a loss of momentum.

Rallying Against the Odds: Strategies for Success

Now that we've confronted the adversaries that threaten to stall our storytelling odysseys, let's arm ourselves with strategies to conquer these barriers and reignite the flames of our creativity.

Embrace the Power of Planning:

A clear roadmap illuminates the path ahead. Arm yourself with outlines, character sketches, and plot maps to pave the way for your story's journey.

Vanquish Self-Doubt with Action:

Silence the voices of doubt with the power of progress. Embrace the imperfect beauty of your early drafts, knowing that every word brings you closer to the finish line.

Mastering the Art of Time:

Carve out sacred writing time in your schedule. Whether it’s ten minutes or two hours, every moment dedicated to your craft is a step forward.

Conquering Writer's Block:

Embrace the freedom of imperfection. Write, even if the words feel like scattered puzzle pieces. The act of writing can unravel the most stubborn knots of writer's block.

Reigniting the Flame of Motivation:

Seek inspiration in the wonders of the world. Reconnect with the heart of your story, rediscovering the passion that set your creative spirit ablaze.

Reshaping Fear into Fuel:

Embrace the uncertainty as an integral part of the creative journey. Embrace the lessons within rejection and prepare for the winds of change that success may bring.

Navigating the Realm of Criticism:

Embrace feedback as a catalyst for growth. Constructive criticism is a powerful ally, shaping your story into a work of art that resonates with readers.

Weaving the Threads of Plot:

Connect the dots with fresh eyes. Step back and survey the tapestry of your plot, seeking innovative solutions to bridge the gaps and untangle the knots.

Breathing Life into Characters:

Engage with your characters as if they were old friends. Dive into their depths, unraveling their quirks, fears, and dreams, and watch as they breathe life into your story.

Navigating Life's Tempests:

Embrace the ebb and flow of life. Every pause in your writing journey is a chance to gather new experiences and perspectives, enriching your storytelling tapestry.

The Ever-Resting Pen: Harnessing the Power Within

Fellow writers, the journey of completing a story is filled with peaks and valleys, each offering us the opportunity to sharpen our resolve and unleash our creative potential. As we stand at the crossroads, staring at the canvas of unfinished tales, let's rally against the odds, armed with the power of purpose, passion, and perseverance.

Let the ink flow once more, breathing life into tales left untold, and watch as your stories triumphantly reach their long-awaited conclusion. You possess the power to conquer the adversaries that stand in your way, and within you lies the essence of untold narratives waiting to unfurl onto the page.

Here's to the journey that lies ahead, the stories waiting to be written, and the unyielding spirit of creativity that thrives within each of us.

Warm regards and unwavering encouragement, Ren T.

[theambitiouswoman]

How to Remove Mental Blocks:

• Acknowledge your block – Start by recognizing the specific block you’re experiencing. Knowing what’s holding you back, whether it’s fear, self doubt, or overwhelm, is the first step toward overcoming it.

• Reframe negative thoughts – Often, mental blocks come from self-limiting beliefs. Challenge these thoughts by replacing them with positive, empowering ones. Shift your focus from “I can’t” to “What if I can?”

• Break down your goals – Mental blocks often feel overwhelming because of big, vague goals. Break your tasks into smaller, manageable steps to reduce pressure and create momentum with each accomplishment.

• Take intentional breaks – If you’re feeling mentally stuck, sometimes stepping away helps. A break can reset your mind, giving you a fresh perspective and renewed energy.

• Engage in creative activities – Stimulate your mind with activities that allow freedom, like drawing, writing, or brainstorming. Creative outlets can unlock new ideas and help you think outside the box.

• Practice mindfulness and meditation – Techniques like mindfulness, deep breathing, and meditation help clear mental clutter, making it easier to focus and reduce overthinking.

• Visualize success – Picture yourself overcoming your mental block and achieving your goal. Visualization can make your goal feel more tangible, motivating you to push past limitations.

• Challenge perfectionism – Let go of the need for everything to be perfect before you start. Embrace progress over perfection, as aiming for “good enough” can reduce pressure and unlock creativity.

• Take on new experiences – Trying something new can shift your perspective and open your mind to fresh ideas. New experiences stimulate mental flexibility and can help dissolve rigid thought patterns.

• Set boundaries with distractions – Create a space free from distractions to focus on your task. This helps your mind engage deeply, reducing the likelihood of mental blocks.

• Cultivate self-compassion – Be gentle with yourself if things feel difficult. Self-compassion builds resilience, allowing you to face blocks with patience rather than frustration.

• Seek outside perspectives – Talking with a friend or mentor can give you insights and ideas you hadn’t considered. Fresh perspectives can dissolve blocks and inspire new paths forward.

• Focus on the “why” – Reconnect with the purpose behind what you’re doing. A clear sense of purpose can reignite your motivation, helping you push through barriers with renewed focus and intention.

[byoldervine]

Writing Tips - Beating Perfectionism

1. Recognising writing perfectionism. It’s not usually as literal as “This isn’t 100% perfect and so it is the worst thing ever”, in my experience it usually sneaks up more subtly. Things like where you should probably be continuing on but if you don’t figure out how to word this paragraph better it’s just going to bug you the whole time, or where you’re growing demotivated because you don’t know how to describe the scene 100% exactly as you can imagine it in your head, or things along those lines where your desire to be exact can get in the way of progression. In isolated scenarios this is natural, but if it’s regularly and notably impacting your progress then there’s a more pressing issue

2. Write now, edit later. Easier said than done, which always infuriated me until I worked out how it translates into practice; you need to recognise what the purpose of this stage of the writing process is and when editing will hinder you more than help you. Anything up to and including your first draft is purely done for structural and creative purposes, and trying to impose perfection on a creative process will naturally stifle said creativity. Creativity demands the freedom of imperfection

3. Perfection is stagnant. We all know that we have to give our characters flaws and challenges to overcome since, otherwise, there’s no room for growth or conflict or plot, and it ends up being boring and predictable at best - and it’s just the same as your writing. Say you wrote the absolute perfect book; the perfect plot, the perfect characters, the perfect arcs, the perfect ending, etc etc. It’s an overnight bestseller and you’re discussed as a literary great for all time. Everyone, even those outside of your target demographic, call it the perfect book. Not only would that first require you to turn the perfect book into something objective, which is impossible, but it would also mean that you would either never write again, because you can never do better than your perfect book, or you’ll always write the exact same thing in the exact same way to ensure constant perfection. It’s repetitive, it’s boring, and all in all it’s just fearful behaviour meant to protect you from criticism that you aren’t used to, rather than allowing yourself to get acclimated to less than purely positive feedback

4. Faulty comparisons. Comparing your writing to that of a published author’s is great from an analytical perspective, but it can easily just become a case of “Their work is so much better, mine sucks, I’ll never be as good as them or as good as any ‘real’ writer”. You need to remember that you’re comparing a completely finished draft, which likely underwent at least three major edits and could have even had upwards of ten, to wherever it is you’re at. A surprising number of people compare their *first* draft to a finished product, which is insanity when you think of it that way; it seems so obvious from this perspective why your first attempt isn’t as good as their tenth. You also end up comparing your ability to describe the images in your head to their ability to craft a new image in your head; I guarantee you that the image the author came up with isn’t the one their readers have, and they’re kicking themselves for not being able to get it exactly as they themselves imagine it. Only the author knows what image they’re working off of; the readers don’t, and they can imagine their own variation which is just as amazing

5. Up close and too personal. Expanding on the last point, just in general it’s harder to describe something in coherent words than it is to process it when someone else prompts you to do so. You end up frustrated and going over it a gazillion times, even to the point where words don’t even look like words anymore. You’ve got this perfect vision of how the whole story is supposed to go, and when you very understandably can’t flawlessly translate every single minute detail to your satisfaction, it’s demotivating. You’re emotionally attached to this perfect version that can’t ever be fully articulated through any other medium. But on the other hand, when consuming other media that you didn’t have a hand in creating, you’re viewing it with perfectly fresh eyes; you have no ‘perfect ideal’ of how everything is supposed to look and feel and be, so the images the final product conjures up become that idealised version - its no wonder why it always feels like every writer except you can pull off their visions when your writing is the only one you have such rigorous preconceived notions of

6. That’s entertainment. Of course writing can be stressful and draining and frustrating and all other sorts of nasty things, but if overall you can’t say that you ultimately enjoy it, you’re not writing for the right reasons. You’ll never take true pride in your work if it only brings you misery. Take a step back, figure out what you can do to make things more fun for you - or at least less like a chore - and work from there

7. Write for yourself. One of the things that most gets to me when writing is “If this was found and read by someone I know, how would that feel?”, which has lead me on multiple occasions to backtrack and try to be less cringe or less weird or less preachy or whatever else. It’s harder to share your work with people you know whose opinions you care about and whose impressions of you have the potential of shifting based on this - sharing it to strangers whose opinions ultimately don’t matter and who you’ll never have to interact with again is somehow a lot less scary because their judgements won’t stick. But allowing the imaginary opinions of others to dictate not even your finished project, but your unmoderated creative process in general? Nobody is going to see this without your say so; this is not the time to be fussing over how others may perceive your writing. The only opinion that matters at this stage is your own

8. Redirection. Instead of focusing on quality, focusing on quantity has helped me to improve my perfectionism issues; it doesn’t matter if I write twenty paragraphs of complete BS so long as I’ve written twenty paragraphs or something that may or may not be useful later. I can still let myself feel accomplished regardless of quality, and if I later have to throw out whole chapters, so be it

9. That’s a problem for future me. A lot of people have no idea how to edit, or what to look for when they do so, so having a clear idea of what you want to edit by the time the editing session comes around is gonna be a game-changer once you’re supposed to be editing. Save the clear work for when you’re allocating time for it and you’ll have a much easier and more focused start to the editing process. It’ll be more motivating than staring blankly at the intimidating word count, at least

10. The application of applications. If all else fails and you’re still going back to edit what you’ve just wrote in some struggle for the perfect writing, there are apps and websites that you can use that physically prevent you from editing your work until you’re done with it. If nothing else, maybe it can help train you away from major edits as you go

[salix-babi]

Still Yours

[ Dan Heng x Reader | SFW | Masterlist | AO3 ]

Synopsis: Dan Heng reunites with the group at Scalegorge and seeks to sooth a tension that's developed between the two of you.

Notes: Had another version of this I wrote to completion then completely scrapped it because I was dissatisfied with the ending. Perfectionism is a burden I must overcome. Writing this just happens to coincide with the return of IL's banner but I'm lowkey hoping it blesses my pulls. I need him. If he comes home, I'll work on a nsfw part 2 so PLEASE. GIVE ME YOUR BLESSINGS.

cw: SFW, some suggestive themes in the latter half, gn!reader, lil angst, plenty of cuddles, reader is a tease, established relationship, reader can be perceived as TB, spoilers for Topclouded Towerthrust Trailblaze Mission.

Word Count: ~2.5k

The two of you hadn’t exchanged a single word since Dan Heng managed to reconnect with the departed expedition team on the Xianzhou Luofu. Not as he parted the oceans. Not as they traversed the ruins of the Scalegorge Waterscape. Not as they fought Phantylia’s vessel of Abundance. Every time his gaze landed on you, you were looking elsewhere. Occupied with murals or enemies that stood in your path. In all fairness, there wasn’t much breathing room with the destruction of the Luofu so close at hand but the absence of your gaze felt… empty. Like he was still apart from you even though you were only a few feet away from him at any given time.

There was only one moment as you traversed through the Scalegorge Waterscape that the two of you were alone. He had caught you by a vidyadhara egg, eyes seemingly transfixed by either its iridescent sheen or the individual within. A back part of his brain recognized these few seconds, however brief, as a window of opportunity to talk. But in the moment, he found his breath caught in his throat and his gaze intent on observing your reactions, instead. He watched your hand rise from your side, a gentle palm placed gingerly against the egg’s scaled outer shell. Your eyes flutter closed as you listened to the echoes of a past life slowly shedding away, expression contorted in a way he couldn’t quite identify. Not from the distance currently held between you. Was it… sadness? Melancholy? Relief? Did you grieve a life’s end or celebrate its rebirth? Or did you see one’s past and future united in a single entity.

“…”

He wanted to speak up then. To acknowledge the silent questions that lingered between you two. To quell his own growing anxieties. However, before he could even gather the words to broach such a topic, your gentle hand pulls away from the egg. Your attention bestowed not upon him, but March 7th calling your name in the distance. Apparently, you had lingered too long and Mr. Yang was advising against getting separated. It made sense. Dan Heng watches as your fingers retract from the egg, the flow of memories fading from your mind as you reconvene the group and once again you’ve wandered out of his reach. He can only follow silently, his gaze lingering on the egg for a fraction of a moment as everyone regroups.

There was a tension between the two of you, of that he was certain the both of you felt. Unknowns left unanswered, lingering uncertainty about where they stood with not a single moment where they could be soothed. He shouldn’t be surprised. In one crashing wave the entirety of the sins he had tried so hard to run from had engulfed him once again, and this time it’s caught his Express companions within it. The only thing he didn’t know was how much of Dan Feng’s crimes you’d really discovered.

It’s not until they were hurriedly leaving the Scalegorge Waterscape with an unconscious Xianzhou general in their arms that he noticed you pause again. As the others tended to Jing Yuan, there you stood at the base of the high elder’s statue, scrutinizing its stone features. Dan Heng, in turn, stared at you. So caught up in trying to decipher your expression that he nearly jumped out of his skin when your gaze turned to him for the first time in what felt like an eternity since his arrival. The vidyadhara stiffens, heart spiking to his throat. You seem equally shocked, but a sudden nervousness darts his eyes away from you in an instant, and he’s back to aiding the others. Somewhere in the commotion Mr. Yang suggests they return to the mainland to get the general proper care and the group moves obligingly, sweeping the two of you back into the residual excitement following Phantylia’s defeat and once again snuffing out any opportunities to talk.

It seems an eternity before you’re finally saying your goodbyes to the Luofu officials for the night. Jing Yuan was in the hands of trusted individuals of the Alchemy Commission and Fu Xuan gives you the barest skeleton of a debrief, the remaining group agreeing a more in-depth discussion can be reserved for the morning once all had at least had a chance to rest properly and the general’s condition has stabilized. Even so, Mr. Yang opts to remain a moment longer with the intention of discussing the nuances of their plan to handle the stellaron, and March had long ago left for her hotel room the moment everyone stepped back on the mainland, the usually peppy girl understandably. You had no doubt she’d be out like a light well into the following morning. However that, in turn, left you and Dan Heng alone to traverse the path back to your hotel. The starskiff ride was silent. The walk from the docks to the hotel, soundless. If you had something to say you weren’t saying it yet, and Dan Heng had no idea where to even begin.

It’s only as you’re reaching for the handle of your own assigned room that you free hand is suddenly snatched in the grip of another. The motion was so tempered in movement but desperate in speed, that it nearly drew a startled sound out of you. You turn to meet Dan Heng’s gaze for the first time since Scalegorge. His eyes are pleading, stirring with questions and uncertainties barely held behind stoic lips. “…” There’s a second of silence before you acquiesce, fingers retreat from your door, and Dan Heng nearly sighs with relief right then and there. Instead, you feel his grip loosen a fraction around your hand. His shoulders lose a bit of their stiffness, but he doesn’t let you go, and you allow him to silently lead you further down the hallway to his assigned room.

The silence between you persists.

Your eyes were trained on the back of his head, on the flow of dark hair down his back, and the teal tips of a set of semi-translucent horns. Idly, you wondered if you could touch them. Would he feel it if you did? Or would your fingers just pass through nothing at all. Even as the battle had ended, Dan Heng remained in this form for reasons yet known to you. You’re brought back from your thoughts to the telltale click of an unlocked door and with a gentle tug of your hand in his, he leads you inside, only letting go once you’ve stepped in to close the door behind you. Your eyes scan the room in the meantime. A standard unit no different from your own on the first night here, though considerably untouched. You wonder if Dan Heng has slept at all since arriving on the Luofu. No doubt he couldn’t walk around openly on the streets without drawing unwanted attention. The thought has a slight frown tugging at the corners of your lips.

There’s a bit of an awkward moment as Dan Heng tries to figure out how to broach the subject, something you recognize as a common habit from the poor man despite looking so different from how you remember him. So, you attempt to bridge the growing gap between you by making the first move. You settle on the edge of the bed, giving your best attempt at a reassuring smile despite the worried tick in your brows, and holding out an inviting hand. You’re grateful when he takes it, stiff as he moves to sit beside you, though you don’t draw attention to how he keeps holding your hand afterwards. “How… much,” he starts tentatively, keeping his eyes on your intertwined fingers rather than you, “did you learn about the previous High Elder?”

A long sigh leaves through your nose as you ponder the question. You wonder if you should relay everything. But looking over at the sullen expression already spread across a face you’re so familiar with, you understand there’s nothing you could say he didn’t already know. “It’s certainly a lot to wrap a head around,” you settle on. He winces anyways, but you press on gently. “A… vidyadhara, right? That’s what you are?” It’s stiff, the way Dan Heng nods in response. “When we first saw you today… you looked so different I almost didn’t recognize you.” Now it’s your turn to look away. “For a bit I thought…” You lean against his side and hug his arm close, “…maybe you weren’t there anymore.” Dan Heng aches with the trepidation in your tone, squeezing your hand tightly.

“…I know.”

“But you’re still Dan Heng, right?”

“I…”

He swallows the building pressure in his throat. “Yes. So long as you’ll have me, I want to be – I am Dan Heng.” He feels you shift beside him and this time, he turns to find you looking back at him with a scrutinizing stare. Eerily reminiscent of the way you had regarded the statue earlier. Nose scrunched and eyes slightly narrow. He’d find it cute under any other circumstance. “Hmm…” Your spine straightens for a better vantage point, slipping your hand from his to poke at his cheek and tug gently at the sleeves of his clothing. “May I…?” you ask, perhaps too politely to Dan Heng’s anxious mind, but he nods all the same and you take his permission to raise yourself higher on the bed and gently settle yourself in his lap. Your legs straddle his on either side like you would any day before this one, and you let yourself look at him – really look at him – for the first time in this new form. Your familiar weight on his thighs is already doing wonders in quelling his nerves a bit. He’s thankful for the firm pressure there to ground him, and without thinking, he’s moved to rest his hands on your waist as he usually would.

Dan Heng holds his breath under your scrutiny. He allows you to explore his more draconic form as you wish, using all his self-restraint to remain still as delicate fingers glide across his features. There’s a visible bob of his throat as digits rise from his neck and follow the curve of his jaw, brushing faintly across his lower lip before moving to press warm palms against his cheek. He wants more than anything to lean into your touch right now, nerves begging to feel more than just the trace of your touch against his lips after being apart for so long. But he’s frozen in place, more fearful that any sudden movements would scare you away. You’ve already been distant from him for far too long both physically and emotionally, and he doesn’t think he can stand you being so far for much longer.

You trace along the red marks lining his eyes, two now instead of the one mark you were used to. Your eyes catch his for a moment, finding piercing teal orbs staring back at you with an inherent intensity. Even unintentionally, his gaze demands your attention, longing and uncertainty swirling behind widened pupils. He was taking you in just as much as you were him, it would seem. So, your fingers continue their journey. Across his features, trailing up from his neck, along his jaw, and past his cheek until ghost-like fingertips reach the auricle of his ear. The quiet breath he sucks in is adorable, even more so the brief flash of teal in your peripheral signifying the movement of his tail. Soft fingers curl around the pointed tip of his ear to massage the cartilage gently between a thumb and forefinger, taking note of how his body stiffens a fraction. However, it’s only when he feels your touch travel upward to trail soft pads along his horns that he fails to hold back a small, shuddering gasp.

“Sensitive…?” you ask as if it were nothing at all and there’s a slight hesitance in the shake of Dan Heng’s head, red beginning to visibly dust his cheeks. “Just… unexpected,” he settles on. He couldn’t figure out what you were thinking. Were you aware of what your touch was doing to him? Did you approve of all these differences in his appearance you were exploring so thoroughly? Or did you find it strange? Distasteful? Briefly, he finds himself regretting not reverting back to his more familiar form the moment they had left Scalegorge. He hadn’t needed to call upon the powers of the Imbibitor Lunae once Phantylia was dealt with, but every time he had glanced your way in this form, you had been looking elsewhere.

“Still mad at me for leaving without a goodbye kiss?” Your voice pulls him back to the present, but it takes Dan Heng a moment to register your words. “W-what?” He blinks owlishly at you, half confused and half dumbfounded by the question. You smile impishly, arms coming to rest around his shoulders. “You always get grumpy when I leave without a kiss. So… are you?” The man frowns. You were teasing him. Dan Heng wants to get in your good graces. But… he couldn’t lie to you. On top of worrying about your wellbeing in the entirety of the week you’ve been apart, he’s also grown accustomed to spending his nights with you. Warm in the archives or out on a mission. He can understand a few days away, but to be without you for a week was… “I’m not mad, I just-…” His eyes flicker off to the ground beside you, hesitating as he finds his footing in his words. “I missed you.” Had he inherited the floppy ears of the Permanence along with those horns, you imagine they’d be sunken flat against the sides of his head with how saddened he looked in this moment. But then you giggle, and he suddenly perks right up in surprise.

“Then you’re still my Dan Heng,” you hum softly and the relief that immediately floods the vidyadhara has him melting into your arms. The chime of another laugh from you makes him question if you had done all of this simply to tease him, wound up as he was. He’d think it cruel but, in the moment, he’s wanted nothing more than to hear those words. “Yes,” he breathes, unthinkingly. Arms wrap tighter around your waist, wanting you closer, and Dan Heng finally gives in to his desires. His head tilts forward, closing what little distance was left to capture you in a kiss. Your lips were so soft, so perfect against his. Warm and gentle, the sensation all the sweeter having been without you for so long. Too long. You reciprocate with ease, a thumb stroking his cheek soothingly while your other hand slides down to rest at the side of his neck and he’s on cloud nine, sacrificing a hand of his own from your waist to reach for the back of your head and pull you closer.

“Yours.”

[daportalpractitioner]

virgo degrees in the natal chart (6°, 18°)

6° = a need to dedicate time to practice in order to make perfect. struggles with perfectionism. a need to overcome insecurities from not feeling good enough. judgmental. shows you where you are naturally gifted in order to be of service to the world (with a need to perfect your craft). tendency to compare self to others. tendency to seek validation from others. naturally studious. naive to the world around you. shyness. organized. strict parents.

18° = focus on perfecting your craft throughout your lifetime. a need to overcome imposter syndrome. acknowledge your talent in this area (planet+house). learning how to clap for yourself when no one else is watching. very nitpicky — find perfection in the imperfection. learning how to be satisfied with the best that you did. high standards. a need for purification (planet tells you where you need to be physically detoxing i.e. venus = genitals; mercury = mental). battles with mental illness. a need to practice cleanliness + organization.