#how to get a author to write the story you want

[zyafics-recs]

reblogging comment review by @zyafics

i’m alive i’m here (i’m fulfilling my duties bc damn a bitch went offline for 9 days and is behind on everything 😭) ⬇️

You drifted to your room, collapsing onto the small bed. The familiar scent of home did little to soothe the ache in your chest. It didn’t feel right. It never did, only when your brother was around, but now, not even that thought gave you faith as you closed your eyes, picturing Rafe’s face. His smile, his touch, his voice – they were all painfully vivid.

ugh i miss ur writing sm i love how this scene felt “slow” like u were navigating this lagged moment with her because nothing felt real

As you both settled in, the familiar warmth of his presence was a small comfort, a reminder that despite everything, you were still here together.

i don’t give a shit the one thing i love more than romance stories is sibling relationships 😭 they’re my heart n soul

"He’s facing several charges, but the severity of his sentence could depend on his cooperation. If he agrees to testify against his father, the authorities might offer him a deal."

i fear he won’t do it 😭😃

“You’re too good, y’know that? Personally, I don’t give a fuck if he dies.”

jj 😭😭😭 leave her alone 😭😭😭

"Complicated? Complicated is being stuck on an island, wondering if your sister is alive or dead. Complicated is dealing with the fact that the guy who put us through hell gets to play hero for a day and suddenly he's got your sympathy."

screaming into my pillow ur dialogues r too good

A carbon copy of your mother, your punishment.

okay pause ✋🏼 not the thematic parallel to abusive and neglectful parental figures i cannot handle this

You were just trying to find a shred of humanity in someone who had shown you a glimpse of it.

THIS LINE EATS SO HARD 😭😭😭

“Is that what you tell yourself to make you feel better?”

my jj would swing at ur jj for the way ur talking to ur sister

“Because I want to!” You screamed even though you hadn’t meant to. Tears of frustration fell as you raised your head, “And as far as I’m concerned, I’m still my own person and I can make my own decisions.”

PERIOD!!!!

 “He was good to me.”

girl *I* held my breath

Sarah never pushed you to talk, never demanded explanations. Instead, she just sat with you, shared a laugh or two, and let the silence speak for itself. It was a strange comfort; one you hadn’t realized you needed until it was there.

i love ur sarah sm mines a bitchhh 🙂‍↕️✋🏼

“No. Uh, a friend, I guess—” You were about to ramble, not too certain of what to say, but settled for, “Can you tell him Maybank’s calling?”

WHY DO I FEEL LIKE HIS PUNK ASS IS GONNA BE LIKE “i don’t know a maybank”

"I’m sorry. Mr. Cameron has requested not to speak with you," she said. "Is there anything else I can assist you with?"

YOU PUNK ASS BITCH

You screamed until your throat was raw, until you had nothing left to give.

no i didn’t (personally cannot scream LOL)

Six months had passed since that day

what the actual fuck

You had spent the afternoon alone, lounging in the living room with a half-read book and a broken fan that did little to ease the stifling heat. 

such good imagery god i love this

Your words caught in your throat as you saw him standing there. 

my heart is pounding omg

“You had six months.”

YIKES 😬

You looked at him, searching for any sign of deceit. His eyes were clear, more focused than you had ever seen them. “Why should I believe you?”

i’m shaking rn pls give a girl some respite

Rafe looked offended, eyes zeroing in on your lips before his gaze met yours. That's when you felt it again, “I never lied to you.”

i’m throwing punches into my pillow rn biting my teeth ohmygod

Rafe’s expression softened, and he reached out tentatively, his hand stopping inches from your arm. “I’m sorry, baby.”

go away demon 👹 @ gigi

It’s only then, when your brain cleared slightly that you noticed he looked different. His hair had been buzzed, his skin looked tanner than the last time you’d seen him, he looked healthier. 

oh we’re in season 3 now ok

“I’m sorry,” he said, his voice barely a whisper. “I’m so sorry.”

i’m literally scraping my fingernails against chalkboards rn pls stop this madness 🛑🛑🛑

Rafe paused in the doorway, his back to you. His voice was barely above a whisper, but it carried clearly through the thick air. "I don’t regret it," he repeated, his shoulders tensing as he spoke.

gonna die ok 🪦

You had tried so hard to suppress your feelings, to deny the depth of your connection with him. But this…wasn’t something that could be easily forgotten or ignored. You had been so afraid to admit it, fearing that acknowledging would destroy you. 

You were in love with Rafe Cameron. 

oh my fucking god u did it again

final thoughts — ohmygod. i dont know why i kept putting off reading this? i think a part of me was scared because the literal content warning was “aka angst” and i said no. anyways, first and foremost u done it again gigi. what i was so impressed about this chapter was ur ability to create such flowing, strong and long dialogues. the one between jj and reader i read twice because i can’t believe how naturally-paced this story goes through that u don’t even realized it’s chunks on chunks of dialogues. that’s such an incredible feat and knowing now that ur from europe and english is probably a second language? the way u select the right words at the right time is an talent i strive to have. i’m like re-editing in my head being like “would i come up with that?” and being like “yeah i would’ve ended it there (bc i don’t know how to elongate a scene) but gigi knew how to keep it going.” gigi, when i tell u that’s one of the most impressive skills i’ve ever seen in my life i’m so serious. also, the way you structure and keep a consistent flow of emotions. the beginning of the story is stretched out in a way that i cinematically imagined a lagged moment. yk how in euphoria where it drags a scene from one part to the next? like that. and then the ending, when i said i was shaking, i was truly shaking. u had my heart clutched in ur hand and u just SQUEEZED IT 😭 💔 the way i felt everything and was so scared and panicking and my eyes wanted to read ahead because i wanted to know what happens but i also wanted to enjoy the writing 😭 u got me doing mental gymnastics trying to figure out how to read 😃 i thoroughly enjoyed this to the very end and ngl, i am so scared to read the next chapter i think imma hold off for a min…

THE OTHER SIDE OF PARADISE - rafe cameron (+18) - five

request: "a rafe enemies to lovers 🫣 the reader is jjs sister the whole drama before but then she gets left behind on the ship and rafe ends up comforting her and then yea that’s all I got you can do whatever else the rest 😛"

warnings: angst <3333333 for everyone <33; might need some editing bc im too tired to check everything but yeah

word count: 7.7k

The ride back to home was a blur. The plane ride, the ferry.

Everything. 

Every mile that took you further from Rafe felt like a wound being reopened. The police officers tried to engage you in conversation, but your responses were monosyllabic at best. They eventually gave up, letting you stare out the window in silence.

When you finally arrived, the sight of the familiar streets of The Cut did little to comfort you. Your house felt alien, a place you barely recognized. The officers escorted you inside, their presence a reminder of the reality you were returning to. 

“Your brother and your friends were rescued from a remote island a while ago. He was informed of your whereabouts an hour ago, he’ll be here soon.”

Their words barely registered.

You nodded numbly; your mind still stuck between the events that had unfolded just two days ago.

What kind of sister had you turned into? Barely phased over the fact your little brother was thankfully alive and well? You were supposed to protect him. 

Sensing your detachment, they exchanged a look before retreating to the porch, giving you some semblance of privacy.

You wandered through the house, your steps heavy. Each room felt like a snapshot from another life. The couch where you and your brother used to bicker over TV shows when Luke spent days doing God knows what, the kitchen table where meals were shared and stories were told, only between you two– they all seemed like relics of a past you could no longer touch.

Things would never be the same, you knew that.

You drifted to your room, collapsing onto the small bed. The familiar scent of home did little to soothe the ache in your chest. It didn’t feel right. It never did, only when your brother was around, but now, not even that thought gave you faith as you closed your eyes, picturing Rafe’s face. His smile, his touch, his voice – they were all painfully vivid.

That must be your punishment. 

A soft knock on the door jolted you from your thoughts. You sat up, heart racing. Your body was still on high alert, every little noise sent shivers down your skin. The blasting of the gunshots was still deeply rooted in your brain. It hadn’t even been three days. 

The old wooden door creaked open, and your brother's face appeared, bright blue eyes wide with concern. He rushed to your side, pulling you into a tight embrace nearly knocking the air out of your lungs.

"Holy shit,” he whispered, his voice thick with emotion, “Holy shit.”

You clung to him, the dam breaking as tears streamed down your face. The sobs wracked your body as JJ held you like you used to hold him. It devastated you. It felt so disappointing. He was never supposed to be the one carrying the family burden, you were. After what felt like an eternity, you pulled back, wiping your tears. Your brother sat beside you, his eyes searching your face.

“You’re not hurt?”

You took a shaky breath, trying to find the words, but all you managed to blurt out was a small “No. You?”

“No,” JJ nodded, lips pursed into a tight line as if he was figuring out what to say next, “They told me about the shooting.”

Your heart sank further at his words. You had hoped to avoid talking about it, at least for a little while. But he was watching you like he used to when you would act as a human shield for him, you couldn't brush it aside.

“I’m fine, I promise.” You reached out and squeezed his hand. "What about you? How did you get off that island?"

JJ let out a bitter laugh, shaking his head.

“It was a mess. We were stuck there for weeks, trying to find a way out. Pope and Kie kept us sane, but it was rough. We finally managed to signal a passing boat, and they rescued us. But the whole time, I couldn't stop thinking about you."

You squeezed his hand tighter, guilt and gratitude warring within you.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there. I'm so sorry, JJ."

He shook his head vehemently. "No, don't apologize. None of this is your fault. I—I should’ve saved you on that ship, okay? It’s on me, not you.”

You’d cry again if you didn’t feel like your body was about to collapse, “You did everything you could. We both did. It's not your fault."

“The one time we changed places, and I couldn’t do it.”

"Jay—"

"I should have been there for you," He insisted, "I hated it."

It was your fault, not his. You pulled him into another hug, trying to convey with your touch what words couldn't express. The weight of your shared guilt and pain was almost suffocating, but at least you were together. You felt his body shaking, whether, from exhaustion or emotion, you couldn't tell.

When you finally let go, you took a deep breath, hoping to find some semblance of strength.

"We’re gonna be okay.”

JJ nodded, though you could see the doubt lingering in his eyes. "I know. It's just... hard."

"I get it. But we're both here, we're alive.”

A small, sad smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. "Yeah, I guess you're right."

The two of you sat in silence for a while, it was a fragile peace, but it was something. The familiar sound of the waves crashing against the shore outside the window was a reminder that life continued, even when it felt like your world had stopped.

"Do you think things will ever go back to normal?" JJ's voice was quiet, almost hesitant.

If he only knew. The one time you managed to close your eyes and sleep you were plagued by nightmares of JJ finding out what you’d done. About you and Rafe. It made you want to scratch your skin raw. 

“Yeah.”

You could see the exhaustion in his eyes, a mirror of your own fatigue. You knew you both needed rest, but the thought of sleep was daunting. The nightmares felt too close, the darkness too suffocating.

"Let's try to get some sleep," You suggested softly, though you weren't sure you could follow your own advice. "We both need it, ‘kay?”

JJ nodded, but you could see the wariness in his eyes. He laid down next to you, the bed barely accommodating the both of you.

As you both settled in, the familiar warmth of his presence was a small comfort, a reminder that despite everything, you were still here together.

The minutes ticked by in silence, the only sound being the rhythmic crashing of the waves outside. You focused on that, letting it be your anchor. Slowly, the tension in your body started to ease, the weight of the day’s events beginning to lift, even if just a little.

"Do you remember the first time we went out on the boat alone?" JJ's voice was a whisper in the darkness, a fragile thread connecting the past to the present.

A small smile tugged at your lips. "Yeah. You insisted you knew how to steer, and we almost ended up crashing into that sandbank."

He chuckled softly. "We were so scared. But you figured it out. You always did."

The memory was a bittersweet reminder of simpler times, a time when your biggest worry was navigating the boat, not navigating the chaos your lives had become. When you weren’t a complete fuck up.

Exhaustion finally began to overtake you, your eyes growing heavy. JJ's breathing evened out beside you, a comforting rhythm that lulled you closer to sleep. You wanted to tell him everything, but you couldn’t. Not without losing him in the process. 

Sleep came slowly, but when it did, it was deep and dreamless. Completely void, much like yourself these days. 

Morning came too soon, sunlight filtering through the curtains and casting a warm glow over the room.

You blinked awake, disoriented for a moment before the events of the past days came rushing back. JJ was still asleep beside you, his face peaceful in repose.

Carefully, you slipped out of bed, not wanting to wake him. The officer who comforted you after the shooting promised to call as soon as he got an update on Rafe’s condition. And so far? No call.

You wondered if the hospital or the police had contacted Sarah. She was Rafe’s closest family, aside from Wheezie who was still a kid, and Ward who was a sought-out criminal. It made sense that they would reach out to her.

If you rang the hospital, they wouldn’t disclose a thing, you weren’t family, and it wasn’t like you could ask Sarah. She would know something was wrong the moment you asked about Rafe. It was risky. 

The kitchen felt eerily quiet, the early morning light casting long shadows on the walls. You made yourself a cup of coffee, the warmth a small comfort against the chill that had settled in your bones.

Sitting at the table, you sipped slowly, trying to come up with some sort of tangible plan. You wanted to know if he was okay, needed to know, but every option seemed fraught with risk.

Your new phone buzzed on the table, jolting you from your thoughts.

You picked it up, heart pounding as you saw an unknown number flashing on the screen. You hesitated for a moment before answering.

“Hello?”

“This is Officer Thompson. I promised I’d keep you updated on Rafe Cameron’s condition.”

You closed your eyes, thanking God for finally giving you some piece of mind, “Yes, thank you.”

“He’s stable,” Officer Thompson continued. “The surgery went well, and he’s in recovery. It’ll be a while before he’s fully back on his feet, but he’s out of immediate danger.”

The knot in your stomach loosened slightly. “Thank you for letting me know.”

There was a pause on the other end.

“I know this is difficult, but you should focus on your own recovery too. There’s a chance the feds will contact you, they’re building their case on Ward. What happened to you is, unfortunately, considered a minor crime compared to everything he’s done, so maybe you’ll get some peace. If not, you might have to testify against him.”

The idea of having to testify against Ward made you uncomfortable to no end. Reliving those moments in front of a courtroom full of strangers seemed unbearable. 

“And Rafe? What are his charges?”

"He’s facing several charges, but the severity of his sentence could depend on his cooperation. If he agrees to testify against his father, the authorities might offer him a deal."

A deal. It was a slim chance, but it was something. You hated yourself for the weight that left your shoulders. He should be locked up, you knew that, back then you prayed for the day he paid for what he did and yet here you were, holding on to any possibility of freedom.

You thanked Officer Thompson again and ended the call, setting your phone down with a shaky hand. The coffee had grown cold, but you didn't have the energy to make another cup. You sat there for a long moment, staring into space, trying to gather your thoughts.

The sound of footsteps drew your attention, and you turned to see JJ standing in the doorway, his hair tousled and eyes still heavy with sleep.

“Who was that?” He asked, his voice still groggy.

“Uh—Officer Thompson. He was at the scene the other day and told me he’d keep me updated.”

JJ tilted his head, his messy bed hair following suit, “Updated on what?”

“Rafe’s condition,” You replied, the words feeling heavy on your tongue. It was a half-lie. At least you were giving him something. 

JJ stopped in his tracks, “And you care because…?”

“For closure, I guess.”

JJ’s gaze softened slightly as he walked over to the table, pulling out a chair and sitting across from you.

“You’re too good, y’know that? Personally, I don’t give a fuck if he dies.”

You winced inwardly. "JJ, you can't just say stuff like that.”

He leaned back in his chair, brows furrowed. "Why not? After everything he’s done, he deserves whatever he gets."

You couldn't argue with that, but part of you still felt the need to defend Rafe. He saved your life.

“He’s still a human being, okay?”

JJ scoffed, shaking his head. "Barely.”

You didn’t know why you suddenly felt so angry, so defensive. But it made its way up your body until your lips were moving again, practically spitting the words out.

“He saved my life.”

Your brother stared at you like you were speaking another language, “Saved your life? Are you serious? It’s his fault you were there in the first place!”

“He chose to help me. And I can't just forget that."

JJ ran a hand through his hair, clearly agitated.

"This is insane. One good deed doesn't erase all the bad he's done."

You reached for his back, “I know that.”

He pulled away from your touch, your fingers only brushing against his shirt, “Do you?”

His retreat felt like a knife to your heart. JJ had always been your rock, the one person you could count on. Seeing him look at you with such disbelief and anger made you feel more isolated than ever. He looked at you like you’d imagined in your nightmares, but the real thing felt ten times worse. 

"I’m not saying he’s a good person. I’m just saying… it’s complicated."

He paced around the kitchen table.

"Complicated? Complicated is being stuck on an island, wondering if your sister is alive or dead. Complicated is dealing with the fact that the guy who put us through hell gets to play hero for a day and suddenly he's got your sympathy."

"It's not sympathy," You insisted, your voice rising despite your best efforts to stay collected. You never raised your voice at him. "It's just... I don't know. I saw a different side of him. Maybe he can change. Or at least help put Ward away."

JJ stopped and spun around to face you, his eyes blazing. "And what if he doesn't? What if this is all part of some twisted game for him? People like Rafe don't just change, okay? They manipulate, they hurt, they destroy."

“JJ—"

“You sound exactly like her.”

You didn’t have to ask to know what he meant. Suddenly your entire soul felt like it was being drained out and slashed into pieces.

You spent a lifetime hearing it, from Luke.

A carbon copy of your mother, your punishment.

“Don’t say that.”

“That’s exactly the type of bullshit she would spit out about dad, wasn’t it? And look where it got her.”

Memories of your mother flooded back. The excuses, the false hope, and the endless cycle of pain and disappointment. You weren’t her, were you? Holding out for a man who was never going to change, who would only inflict pain upon your life? It couldn’t be. You spent your entire life making sure you were nothing like her.

It wasn’t fair.

You weren’t making excuses for Rafe as your mother did for Luke. You were just trying to find a shred of humanity in someone who had shown you a glimpse of it. You stood there, feeling the weight of his accusation like a leaden cloak.

How could he think you were blind to Rafe’s faults? You knew them all too well. Standing there in the kitchen, under the harsh morning light, you felt exposed, vulnerable, and fiercely defensive.

“I’m not her,” You finally managed to say, your voice cracking, “I’m not defending him like she did.”

“Is that what you tell yourself to make you feel better?”

Your eyes narrow into slits, “I’m not doing this with you, not right now.” 

You turned away, your fists clenched at your sides as you fought to regain your composure.

He followed you hot on your trail, "Don't walk away from me.”

"I'm not defending him," You insisted, your back still to him, “I’m just trying to understand, okay?”

“Understand what? Jesus, Rafe is who he is.”

"And maybe he can change," You shot back, the words spilling out despite the tightening knot in your chest. "Maybe he saved my life because he wants to change."

"He's manipulating you," JJ retorted, his jaw clenched. "Just like he always does. You went through some traumatic shit together, but that doesn't mean you owe him anything."

You stopped dead in your tracks, turning to face him again. Your head was tingling, the headache already forming itself, and you felt hot all-over. 

“Some traumatic shit?” You repeated, “Are you fucking serious?”

JJ raised both his hands, tangling them in his hair in frustration, “You almost died, and now you're here defending the guy who put you in that position?"

The accusation stung. You felt the heat rise in your chest. You hated fighting with your brother. You were letting your feelings for Rafe get between the two of you.

He shook his head, disappointment oozing from him in waves, "Good luck with that. Just don't expect me to sit here and act like everything's okay."

You blinked away the dryness in your eyes, "I'm not asking you to. Can't you see that maybe things aren't as black and white as they seem?"

“All I know is what he's done to us, to you."

"And what about what he did for me?" You shot back, the words bitter on your tongue.

“And what did he do exactly?" Your lips parted to speak, but words continued to spill from his mouth, “What did you do?”

You gave no reply, unblinking, short breaths escaping you. His accusation lingered in the air, challenging you to defend the indefensible. The truth was there, clawing at your mind, but you couldn't bring yourself to voice it. 

Not to JJ, not yet.

"I don't expect you to understand," You finally said, voice strained, "But I’m not turning my back on him.”

JJ's eyes narrowed; frustration etched on his face. "Why?”

“Because I want to!” You screamed even though you hadn’t meant to. Tears of frustration fell as you raised your head, “And as far as I’m concerned, I’m still my own person and I can make my own decisions.”

He opened his mouth to respond, but the words seemed to evaporate. For a moment, the kitchen was filled with nothing but the sound of your heavy breathing and the instant regret that filled your bones.

Finally, JJ spoke, his voice low and strained. "Fine. Do what you want."

You watched as he turned away, his shoulders tense with anger or disappointment – perhaps both. His footsteps echoed loudly in the quiet kitchen as he stormed out, leaving you standing there, feeling raw and exposed. It was the first time you had ever raised your voice at him, and the aftermath left a bitter taste in your mouth. 

Alone in the kitchen, you sank into your chair again, your energy completely drained. Part of you wanted to run after him, to explain, to make him understand. But he never would. None of them would.

Because unlike you, they weren’t stupid enough to sympathize with Rafe Cameron.

Sitting there, you couldn't shake the feeling that you'd crossed a line, one you might not be able to uncross. You stared at your hands, still trembling from the argument, and let out a long, shaky breath. What was it about Rafe that had such a grip on you? 

You heard the front door open and close, a clear sign that JJ had left the house. Maybe it was for the best, giving you both time to cool down. You got up to pour the coffee down the sink, the sound of the liquid swirling away a tiny comfort.

You spent the entire day locked away in your room, avoiding any kind of social interaction, or the sun. Your phone buzzed again, and for a moment, you considered ignoring it.

You picked it up, expecting another call from Officer Thompson, but the name on the screen made your heart skip a beat.

Sarah.

With a deep breath, you answered. “Hey sweets.”

“Hi,” Sarah’s voice was almost unsure. “JJ and the police called earlier, told us what happened. Are you okay? I’m on the mainland with John B, we’re taking the next ferry back home.” 

You closed your eyes, somewhat relieved that you wouldn’t have to face them yet.

“Yeah, I’m…Managing. I'm okay.”

“Good, that’s good,” There was a pause, and then she asked, “Have you heard anything about...Rafe?”

Had the hospital not called her? The question hung in the air. You had, but you didn’t know how much to share. 

“He’s stable. The surgery went well.”

Sarah sighed, “Good. That’s good to hear I guess.”

“Sarah,” You began, hesitating. “Did the hospital call you?”

There was a long silence on the other end before she replied, “Yeah. But I…I don’t know. I just couldn’t bring myself to answer. I knew it was coming after the police called. But—Yeah, it’s just, it’s really hard.”

You didn’t know what to say, “I’m so sorry.”

“You’re the only one not giving me shit about still…caring? I guess. He’s my brother, you know? And I want to hate him, so bad, but I can’t.”

"I get it, Sarah. He's your brother. It's okay to feel conflicted."

"Yeah," She exhaled heavily, "But I don't know how to deal with it. He's done so much harm, and yet. I keep hoping there's still some good left in him. I know there's no hope for my dad, but Rafe..."

She had seen him before Ward turned him into this. She still carried the guilt of reveling in their father’s approval, the clear favoritism that she never stood against for her brother, even though she could see her father’s fingers printed on Rafe’s cheeks. 

Her words echoed your inner struggle. You understood her—how love and hate could coexist in such a tangled mess when it came to family. 

 “He was good to me.”

There was a long pause.

You expected her to hang up on you, to call you a list of degrading names, all of which you felt you deserved. She had suffered deeply at the hands of her brother— the same brother you had come to care for, despite knowing the full extent of what he’d done. 

But you underestimated her.

Caught between your own anxiety and the dread of truth being exposed, you momentarily forgot just how compassionate and noble Sarah was. She possessed a goodness that mirrored your own—loyal, forgiving, and endlessly understanding.

Both lovers and fighters.

 "I know, the feds told me about the shooting," Sarah finally said, "And I think that's what makes it so hard. Picturing him as the same monster from before was a lot easier.”

You nodded even though she couldn't see you, feeling a deep ache in your chest. "Yeah."

"I don't know what to do," She confessed, her vulnerability cutting through the distance between you. "Part of me wants to see him, to talk to him. And part of me wants to never look at him again."

"I think... whatever you decide, it's okay," You offered tentatively, not entirely sure if your words were comforting or just empty platitudes.

“John B disagrees.”

“Yeah, so does JJ.”

"I appreciate you telling me about Rafe," Sarah continued, her voice softer now, more vulnerable. "I... I don't think I could have handled hearing it from anyone else."

You felt a pang of guilt. "I'm sorry you had to hear it like this, sweetheart. I wish things were different."

"We all do," she replied softly. "Thank you.”

“Of course," You said, "Take care of yourself.”

"You too. We'll see you soon, okay?"

"Yeah. See you soon."

The call ended, and you stared at your phone for a long moment, the screen dark and lifeless, much like yourself lately. 

You spent the next few days in a haze, avoiding JJ and the rest of your friends as much as possible. You’d only seen Sarah. Somehow her presence didn’t make you feel as nervous as you thought. It weirdly calmed you down. You’d always been close, ever since she joined the group, but now you felt like she was the only one who understood your point of view. 

You knew Pope and Kie wouldn’t, and you couldn’t blame them.

Sarah never pushed you to talk, never demanded explanations. Instead, she just sat with you, shared a laugh or two, and let the silence speak for itself. It was a strange comfort; one you hadn’t realized you needed until it was there.

The small house felt like a prison. It wasn’t until a week later, as you sat on the beach watching the waves crash against the shore, that your phone buzzed with a message. It was the officer: "Rafe’s awake."

Your heart leaped into your throat. You still hadn’t told anyone the full extent of what had happened between you and him, and you weren’t sure you ever could. They knew he was in the hospital, that you two had gotten caught in a shooting, that he’d somehow saved your life. That was it. But now, with him awake…You didn’t know what to do.

With trembling hands, you dialed the number the officer had provided. After a few rings, someone answered.

"Hello, this is St. Michael Hospital. How can I help you?"

You snap out of your daze, "Hi, I'm calling to check on a patient, Rafe Cameron. I was told he’s awake."

There was a pause, the sound of keyboard keys clicking. "Yes, Mr. Cameron is awake. Are you a family member?"

“No. Uh, a friend, I guess—” You were about to ramble, not too certain of what to say, but settled for, “Can you tell him Maybank’s calling?”

“Okay, just a minute please.”

The hold music was the only thing keeping you centered on the moment, each note heightening your anxiety. When the nurse returned, her tone was pitiful, and you knew then that you weren’t going to like her answer.

"I’m sorry. Mr. Cameron has requested not to speak with you," she said. "Is there anything else I can assist you with?"

You wanted to hurl the phone into the ocean, plunge your head underwater, and only resurface when the ringing in your ears ceased.

 What the hell? 

You had spent weeks on edge, consumed by thoughts of him, hoping he would survive, praying for him despite not believing in that sort of thing. You didn't have it in you to put up a fight.

"No, that's all. Thank you." You ended the call and stared at your phone. 

Rafe didn’t want to speak with you.

You felt foolish, as if you were just now glimpsing the bigger picture and recognizing that maybe he didn’t care after all. Perhaps, on the island, you were the one thing keeping him grounded, but now? Now you were back to being a nobody, just a pogue.

It felt like everything you had shared was for nothing.

Had you imagined it? No, you knew you hadn’t.

Rafe had kissed you and touched you with the tenderness of a lover, as if you were precious and any rough movement might break you.

The moments you had shared, the way he had saved your life—maybe they didn’t mean as much to him as they did to you. The bond you thought you had formed with Rafe was, perhaps, a desperate attempt to find something good in the chaos.

The waves crashed against the shore, the sound a distant roar as you sat on the sand, a storm brewing inside. You tried to hold it together, to keep the facade of normalcy for a little longer, but it was getting harder with each passing day. This felt like it was the final straw.

Without warning, a scream ripped from your throat, raw and unfiltered. It echoed across the empty beach, a primal release of everything you had been bottling up.

The anger, the confusion, the hurt—it all came pouring out in that one moment. Tears streamed down your face, mixing with the salty sea breeze.

You hadn’t cried properly in weeks. 

You screamed until your throat was raw, until you had nothing left to give. The sun cast long shadows on the sand, the beach deserted except for you. Collapsing back onto the sand, you let the tears flow freely. 

There was no one to judge you, no one to see you fall apart. You’d spent a lifetime pulling yourself together, it was only fair you finally got to breathe properly. When the tears subsided, you wiped your face with the back of your hand and took a shuddering breath. The tightness in your chest began to ease, replaced by a hollow ache.

You were many things, but none of them were weak and yet...It was almost unbearable, the way your mind replayed every interaction, every look, every word, searching for signs you might have missed, clues that would have warned you not to get attached.

The sound of footsteps in the sand pulled you from your thoughts.

You turned to see JJ approaching. Your heart sank; you weren’t ready to face him after the argument. He sat down next to you, silent for a moment as he followed your gaze out to the horizon.

When he finally spoke, his voice was softer than you expected.

“I’ve been thinking about what you said.”

You nodded, unsure of what to say.

“I’m sorry for what I said about Mom,” he continued, his tone filled with regret. “I shouldn’t have compared you to her. That wasn’t fair.”

You swallowed hard, the tension easing slightly from your shoulders. “It’s okay, JJ. I know you didn’t mean it.”

“I did, and I didn’t,” he admitted. “I just... I don’t want to see you get hurt. I don’t trust him, and I hate that you’ve been caught up in all this.”

“He doesn’t want to talk to me.”

He glanced at you, eyebrow raised. “What do you mean?”

“I called the hospital. They said he’s awake, but he doesn’t want to speak with me.”

Your brother frowned, his protective instincts flaring up. “That fucking asshole. After everything—”

You shook your head, cutting him off gently. “Maybe it’s for the best. Maybe he’s right.”

JJ’s expression softened, and he reached out, placing a hand on your shoulder.

“Hey, don’t do that. Don’t blame yourself. You did nothing wrong.”

A lump formed in your throat, but you nodded, trying to believe his words. “I just... I thought there was more to it. That maybe he could change.”

“People like Rafe... it’s hard to change.”

“Yeah.”

 “But that doesn’t mean you’re wrong for wanting to see the good in him.”

He spoke with such gentleness and wisdom. You forgot he wasn’t a kid anymore. That he’d also done his fair share of growing up way too fast. 

You leaned into his touch, “I know.”

“We’ll get through this,” JJ said firmly. “Together. You and me, like always.”

 “Love you.”

“Love you too.”

As the sun began to set, casting a warm glow over the beach, you and JJ sat there in silence. The waves continued to crash against the shore, a reminder that life moved forward, even when it felt like everything was falling apart.

Maybe things would never go back to the way they were, but you had your brother, your friends, and a resilience you hadn’t known you possessed. 

⋆ ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ⋆ ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ⋆ ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ⋆ ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ⋆ ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ⋆ ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ

Six months had passed since that day.

Life had settled into a fragile semblance of normalcy. The days were longer now, summer heat pressing down on The Cut, making the air thick and heavy. You had spent the afternoon alone, lounging in the living room with a half-read book and a broken fan that did little to ease the stifling heat. 

You were lost in your book when a loud, insistent banging on the door jolted you from your reverie. Few people would knock with such urgency.

The forceful banging on the door didn’t stop and you jolted upright.

Without thinking, you got up and flung the door open, irritation flaring. "What the f—"

Your words caught in your throat as you saw him standing there. 

"Rafe?" You blurted out. You immediately tried to close the door in his face, but he was quick. His hand shot out, holding it open, "Are you kidding me?" You hissed, pushing harder against the door.

"Maybank—"

"If you don't get off my property, I swear to fucking God—"

"Wait!" Rafe's voice was strained, his hand trembling as he held the door open. "Just listen for a second."

You glared at him, every instinct telling you to push harder, to shut him out. But something in his eyes—fear, desperation, a flicker of the Rafe you once knew—gave you pause.

The last time you saw him, he was bleeding out and terrifyingly pale.

The last update you had on him was from Sarah, months ago. He had left the hospital and kept sporadic contact, reaching out to her only every few weeks.

You never asked her about his well-being or what he was doing; despite guessing that he was cooperating with the police. At least you hoped he was. 

You were determined not to care anymore.

He leaned his weight against the doorframe, “You look good.”

You were going to slap the lack of common sense out of him. 

You scoffed, not letting your guard down. “What are you doing here?”

He looked down, struggling to find the words as he scratched the back of his head, “I... I needed to see you. To talk.”

“And I need you to crawl back to whatever hole you just creeped out of, have a good day.”

You tried to push the door shut again, but his grip tightened. “Please, just give me a minute.”

“You had six months.”

“I know, and I’m sorry. I was— It’s messed up, okay? I’m still working with the feds. I was losing it. Still am, probably. But I need to explain. Please, Maybank, just a minute.”

You hesitated the anger and hurt battling against the small, lingering part of you that still cared.

Finally, you stepped back, letting the door open just enough for him to enter.

“Talk,” you said, your voice icy.

Rafe stepped inside, looking around your small living room as if seeing it for the first time, which you now realized he'd never been in your house.

He turned to face you, his expression earnest. “I didn’t know what to say. I felt—“, He took a deep breath, cheeks puffing, “Ashamed. I don’t know.”

You crossed your arms over your chest, keeping a safe distance between you.

“Ashamed? You’ve done a lot of things to be ashamed of. You can’t just show up after six months and expect everything to be fine.”

“I know,” He admitted, taking a deliberate small step closer to you, “I wasn’t expecting that. I just... I wanted to tell you that I’m trying. I’m in therapy and rehab, trying to get clean. I’ve been going to meetings. It’s been hell, but I’m trying.”

You looked at him, searching for any sign of deceit. His eyes were clear, more focused than you had ever seen them. “Why should I believe you?”

He took a deep breath, visibly struggling to find the right words.

“Because you’re the only person who ever saw anything good in me. And I can’t forget that. I don’t deserve it, but I need you to know that your faith in me wasn’t for nothing.”

The vulnerability in his voice took you by surprise. You had expected anger, arrogance, manipulation—but this was different. Genuine. It felt like you were back in that motel room, in his arms.

You let out a scoff, focusing your gaze on the couch you were just resting on, as you shifted your weight on your feet. “Is that all?”

Rafe's eyes darted to the floor, “No, it’s not all. I just—Shit. I need to make things right. With you. I don’t know how, but I need to try.”

You took a deep breath.

Part of you wanted to believe him, to give him another chance, but the other part of you—the part that had been hurt and abandoned—was screaming not to fall for it again.

“You didn’t even want to talk to me when you woke up.”

He looked up, guilt etched across his features. “I didn’t know how to face you after everything that happened. I was a mess.”

“So you shut me out?” You snapped, “You made me feel like I meant nothing.”

“That’s not true,” He snapped back, head whipping up, then immediately softened his tone, taking another step closer. “That’s not true. You mean more to me than you’ll ever know. I was getting better for you."

“Don’t lie to me.”

Rafe looked offended, eyes zeroing in on your lips before his gaze met yours. That's when you felt it again, “I never lied to you.”

“Cameron.”

Another step closer. His eyes pleading with you to understand. 

You were staring up at him now, the look on your face completely unreadable. You were waiting for an answer, but he had a feeling that no matter what answer he gave, it wouldn't make a difference.

"I never lied to you," He repeated, his voice shaking slightly. "I was scared and confused, but I never lied.”

You felt your anger rising again, every muscle in your body tensing as you tried to keep control. “Scared and confused? That’s your excuse?”

Rafe flinched at your words, but he didn't back down. “I know how it sounds. I handled it all wrong. I’m trying to fix it.”

“You think saying sorry and showing up out of the blue makes it better? It doesn't erase the months of silence.”

His hands reached out, his palms open as if he was dealing with a wounded animal. “I’m not asking for forgiveness right away. I just want a chance to make things right.”

“You don’t get it, do you?” You spat, your voice trembling with emotion, “How it felt, watching you almost die. I spent days wondering if you were going to be—” 

You stopped yourself, knowing that if you continued your voice would crack and the tears would start pouring down your cheeks.

You already cried enough for him. 

Rafe’s expression softened, and he reached out tentatively, his hand stopping inches from your arm. “I’m sorry, baby.”

You took a step back, putting more distance between you, needing the space to think clearly. “I needed you to be sorry six months ago.”

It’s only then, when your brain cleared slightly that you noticed he looked different. His hair had been buzzed, his skin looked tanner than the last time you’d seen him, he looked healthier. 

Rafe noticed your eyes wandering to his head and ran a hand through his short hair, a hint of a self-conscious smile flickering across his lips. “Yeah, I uh, made some changes. Trying to start over, I guess.”

You nodded slightly, not quite trusting yourself to speak. Finally, you broke the silence, your voice steadier now.

“I’m happy for you, but I can’t do this.”

“Pretty—"

You sighed, rubbing your temples as you cut him off, “I feel guilty enough as it is around everyone else.”

“I told Sarah.”

His words hit you like a punch to your gut. 

“What?”

“About us.”

You felt your stomach drop and your vision narrow, the world tilting sideways as the reality of what he just said sank in. “You what?”

“I told her.” 

“You absolute fucking—” You hissed, your voice rising without warning, “Are you serious?!”

“I thought it was the right thing to do,” His tone faltered to one that could’ve fallen on deaf ears if not attentive enough. “I needed someone to talk to, and she’s…my sister.”

“You thought it was the right thing to do?” You were shouting now, unable to contain your anger. “You think spilling everything to Sarah was the right thing to do? Did you ever consider how that might affect me? Or her?”

Rafe flinched, taking a step back. “I didn’t think it would be this bad.”

“Of course you didn’t,” You nearly growled, pacing the small living room. “You never think about anyone but yourself, do you?”

“Listen— “ He opened his mouth undoubtedly to fire back with another half-assed apology - but you barreled forward, letting the months of bottled resentment continue to burst open.

“You’re so selfish.”

“She promised she wouldn’t tell anyone,” His throat bobbed in an audible gulp, “It’s okay.”

“You really believe that?” You stopped pacing and turned to face him, your hands clenched into fists at your sides. “This is too much for her to keep to herself. It’ll eat away at her until she tells someone. And when that happens, my life here is over.”

Rafe looked stricken, his face pale. “I just—I needed someone to understand what I’m going through.”

For the first time, he took the time to explain what was going on in his head instead of letting his frustrations take over and kissing you.

“And what about what I’m going through?” You demanded. “Did you ever stop to think about that? I’ve been trying to move on, to rebuild my life, and you just waltz back in and blow everything up.”

“I’m sorry,” he said, his voice barely a whisper. “I’m so sorry.”

You spotted his sun-kissed freckles. They wouldn’t be noticeable if you hadn’t looked at him so closely before.

“Sorry doesn’t fix this,” Bitterness began to overpower the pit of your heaving chest, “Sorry doesn’t make it go away. You can’t just undo what you’ve done.”

“I know,” One shaky hand scrubbed over his face, refusing to meet your wide-eyed stare., “But I’ll do whatever it takes to make it right. I swear.”

“Make it right? You can’t make this right, Rafe.”

“I don’t know what else to do,” he said, his voice breaking. “I’m trying, pretty. I really am.”

You felt a smidge of sympathy despite your anger. You could see the pain and desperation in his eyes, the same pain and desperation you had felt for the past six months. But that didn’t change the fact that he left you hanging for so long.

“I need you to leave,” you said finally, your voice cold and distant.

You expected him to put up a fight, to lash out, hide his emotions with empty threats and petty names. But he didn’t.

Instead, he nodded, his shoulders slumping slightly as he turned to leave. You watched him go in silence.

Part of you wanted to run after him, to give him another chance, to believe that he could change. But another part—the part that had been wounded and left to heal on its own—knew that it wasn’t that simple.

You had to protect yourself, even if it meant shutting him out for good.

Rafe paused in the doorway, his back to you. His voice was barely above a whisper, but it carried clearly through the thick air. "I don’t regret it," he repeated, his shoulders tensing as he spoke.

You blinked, taken aback. "What?"

He turned slightly, just enough for you to see the raw honesty in his eyes. "I don’t regret what happened. Between us. I regret how I handled it, how I hurt you, but I don’t regret feeling something real for once."

The words hung in the air, and for a moment, the suffocating heat seemed to dissipate, replaced by a cold clarity. You crossed your arms tighter around yourself, trying to hold onto your anger, your resolve. But his words had hit a nerve, bringing back memories you’d tried so hard to bury.

You looked away, unable to look at him, "It doesn’t change anything."

"I know.”

With that, he turned and walked out the door, the door clicking shut behind him, leaving you standing there. The room felt emptier than it hand in months as you leaned your forehead against the cool wood over the door.

You pushed away from the door, needing something to distract yourself. 

You picked up your book, but the words blurred on the page. You tossed it aside, your thoughts too chaotic to focus. Instead, you paced the small living room, replaying the conversation in your mind.

You eventually collapsed onto the couch, staring blankly at the ceiling. You did the right thing, so why did it hurt so bad? 

You felt like a wound had been reopened, and you hated him for it.

But you hated yourself more for letting him get to you. The hours dragged on, the sun dipping below the horizon and casting long shadows through the windows. You tried to lose yourself in anything—TV, reading, cleaning—but nothing could shake the gnawing feeling of unresolved problems that clung to you.

You only saw Rafe's face, his desperate eyes, his trembling hands.

You remembered the feel of his skin, the sound of his voice when he was vulnerable. The memories were too real, too persistent. You couldn't bring yourself to explain it to yourself. Your eyes begin to itch, warning you to think of something else.

Anything else but Rafe.

Was this heartbreak? No—it couldn't be. 

You weren't in love with Rafe Cameron.

 At least, you didn't think you were.

You had never allowed yourself to consider it, to dwell on what you felt for him. But now, in the stillness of your small living room…it was different. You never had a good parental figure to teach you these things.

All you knew was destruction, violence, and heartbreak. And although you’d done pretty well for yourself, all things considered, this was new to you.

The thought hit you like a tidal wave, overwhelming and inescapable.

You had tried so hard to suppress your feelings, to deny the depth of your connection with him. But this…wasn’t something that could be easily forgotten or ignored. You had been so afraid to admit it, fearing that acknowledging would destroy you. 

You were in love with Rafe Cameron. 

[aethon-recs]

This Week (x2) in Tomarrymort (25 October – 7 November 2024)

Hello again! We have two multi-chaptered fics finishing this week, highlighted below, as well as a bunch of delicious one-shots and chapter updates as always.

Completed Fic:

Sits the wind in that quarter by @mosiva (M, 61k, complete) “After something of a long absence, Lord Riddle, the Earl of Gaunt, had returned to London.” This is a really cool Regency and Omegaverse AU (how cool is that to see that combined??) that features a lot of courting, gossip and intrigue, social climbing, and Alpha Tom Riddle along with Beta Harry Potter.  Broken Tomarrymort Telephone: Collected Stories by @exquisite-tomarrymort-telephone (E, 109k, complete)  A Tomarrymort version of the Broken Telephone game — passing a whispered word or phrase around a circle, with it often evolving into something quite different as it goes from person to person. “In our version, the starting person received a secret prompt and wrote a fic based on it. They then created a prompt for the next person by summing up what they had written in a single sentence -- with the caveat that their prompt couldn't use the same words as the prompt they were given. This continued through twenty-six (26!) different authors and artists, each adding their own flair and creativity to the exercise. Which brings us to now! We're wrapping up the creation part, so it's time to start sharing it with the world. We hope you enjoy what we've created -- we certainly enjoyed making it.”

In addition, a recap of the author notes from last week. (Please feel free to add some extra context to your fic update in the reblog, such as a little bit about the chapter(s) updated, and I’ll throw it in the update for next week!)

every step i choose to take begins to set the world aflame by @boyneptunee (NR, 4k, WIP) “Tom Riddle wants to become immortal. He will do whatever it takes to achieve it. It gets him in the most interesting situations. (A Phoenix saves his life. The Phoenix is not a Phoenix.)” These Fragments We've Shored by @rowena-rain (M, 31k, WIP) “You call me here because you crave atonement, and only I can give you that. After all, I am the only other who knows what it means to tear one’s soul. Or, as one very astute commenter put it, "Enter Voldemort, the World's Worst Therapist!" (Sorry in advance - Voldemort basically wrote this chapter lol)” Touch of Death by @moontearpensfic (E, 6k, WIP) “An oviposition AU, where Eldritch Harry/Death gives Tom his eggs, which will protect Tom from, well, death. In chapter two, the eggs hatch.” Time Stumbler by @wintumnly (T, 96k, WIP) “One part of my slowburn Harry-raises-Tom series. It ends in Tomarry, but everything building up to that point is unhinged humor, not-good-at-feelings fluff, and angsty plot surrounding Harry and Tom's chaotic and ever growing affections for one another. Update 23 explores Unconditional Love, and there will be familial love, friendship love, flirtatious love, obsessive love and others in future parts.”

*

Tomarrymort One Shots and Completed Fic

Chapters 26 and 27 (Completed) of Sits the wind in that quarter by @mosiva

Chapters 1 through 27 (Completed) of Broken Tomarrymort Telephone: Collected Stories by @exquisite-tomarrymort-telephone

One Shot | Resonating Souls by @endlessburningdarkness

One Shot | Anabiosis by @lee-bella

One Shot | Bites and other Surprises by lemonchase

One Shot | Viticula by @crowcrowcrowthing @cindle-writes

One Shot | Speedrunning Danger by @i-dream-of-libraries

One Shot | Karma’s a bitch by @albondiguilla007

One Shot | It's Like This by @twopenguinsinabox

One Shot | Boulder On by @lumosatnight

One Shot | WTF, Potter?! by BvinYa_Raama

One Shot | a couple inches shorter by @2sidesofthesamesoul

One Shot | bloody money by @00queasy00

One Shot | Cerulean blue by @albondiguilla007

One Shot | It's Not Always What It Seems by dysproporsium 

One Shot | To be Entwined by @cyandenial

*

Tomarrymort Ongoing Fics

Chapter 6 of And the Living Will Envy the Dead by @k-s-morgan

Chapter 18 of A Simple Request by @shyinsunlight

Chapters 3 through 6 of in the silence by @satflesk22

Chapter 7 of Anytime, Anywhere, Always by @moontearpensfic

Chapters 15 and 16 of the stars, my destination by @milkandmoon-ao3

Chapter 11 of Ills of Murder by @shadow-of-the-eclipse

Chapter 2 of In My Lover's Room (i am free) by @hyalith

Chapters 1 through 5 of To the Hilt by @izharmilgram

Chapter 10 of Strings of Fate by dizzydreamer

Chapters 2 and 3 of If I were you by @onehitpleb

Chapter 25 of would that i'd loved (long ago) by @sprst1tion

Chapter 18 of with eyes like these (who sees anybody else) by @cealesti

Chapter 9 of 7 by @moontearpensfic

Chapters 3 and 4 of you speak of the devil (like he's not your friend) by @amuria

Chapter 24 of Time Stumbler by @wintumnly

Chapter 20 of Outrunning the Villain in You by @zenyteehee

Chapter 19 of Of Darkness and Luminescence by @mindchroniclesandbrainfluff

Chapters 6 and 7 of Memories of a Killer by @chemfreakwriting

Chapter 1 of ROOTED by @inhumanbby

Chapter 1 of baby, turn the bright lights on by @ictyn

Chapter 1 of Harry's No Good, Very Bad Day by @2sidesofthesamesoul

Chapter 15 of Double-Aspect Paradox by TimaeusKosmou

Chapter 15 of Saint Harry by @alenablack @chaos-bear

Chapter 7 of Fetters of the Damned by @sc0rpiflow3r

Chapters 131 and 132 of Liquida Tenebris (Remastered) by @dymis

Chapter 1 of Wish by @sri-verse

Chapter 10 of flour power by Kozzie

Chapter 5 of What quickens me is the violence in thee by @i-dream-of-libraries

Chapter 20 of Occultation by TimaeusKosmou

Chapters 21 and 22 of Learning to love by @l-archiduchesse

Chapters 1 and 2 of The Serpent and the Stag by @green-like-the-sky

Chapter 2 of Fake Boyfriend by J0305

Chapter 7 of i am anonymous, you are a concrete wall by Pensievable

Chapter 8  of we made universes out of bitten lips and broken hands by @boyneptunee

Chapter 8 of Lesmosyne by TimaeusKosmou

Chapter 2 of Your Wish, My Command by @moontearpensfic

Chapters 6 and 7 of Venom or Valor by @lightningant

*

[rwrbficrecs]

Our September & October recs ❤️

make lemonade by @smc-27 (book-verse)

@dot524: This author consistently posts stellar works but I often finish wanting more of that world. This one is nice and long — yay! I loved this meet-cute where Alex’s daughter Claudia has a lemonade stand and Henry is one of their favorite customers. This was a bit of an exploration of divorced dad (single dad) Alex. His mixed feelings about coparenting and starting a new relationship were nicely developed. Such a great warm fuzzy fic, with a nice bit of angst and character development mixed in to make things interesting. And I loved the kid character, Claudia!

falling in love (in the cruelest way) by @coffeecatsme (book-verse)

@suseagull04: This road trip AU is so fun, partly because of how soft our favorite boys are, but also just because of Alex's bright personality throughout the whole thing, and the faith and hope that's a critical part of the book!

we should get married by @smc-27 (book-verse)

@suseagull04: I had heard people talking about this green card marriage AU for months, and the hype was definitely warranted (as with all of this author's writing)! Little details from the book used in a new way, instant attraction, both of them being exactly what the other needs, exploration of other relationship dynamics within the book... this fic has so much depth in its 4 chapters, and it's fantastic!

Cleansing Downpour by @sprigsofviolets (book-verse)

@na-dineee: It often seems like things between June and Nora were always easy, like they were just meant to be. But what if it wasn't that simple? Feeling stuck in life, June is caught between writing a book she’s starting to hate, and navigating her growing feelings for her best friend. A beautifully written story of change, friendship and love, and figuring out who you really are.

runaway now and forever more by tonystarked (book-verse)

@na-dineee: Aged Alex and Henry, a US Senator and an English Prince, have been pining for each other for what feels like forever. Could tonight, at a glamorous charity event, finally be the night they open up to one another? This beautifully heart-wrenching and incredibly poetic fic has been stuck in my head ever since I read it!

The Candy Tax by @hgejfmw-hgejhsf (book-verse)

@suseagull04: This fic is absolutely adorable! It's the perfect nostalgia trip for anyone who went trick or treating, and it incorporates some of the pop culture references from the book in the best ways that just add to what make this fic so cute!

Heart enough by @hgejfmw-hgejhsf (book-verse)

@suseagull04: What if Henry's the one who has to travel for the apology tour and instead of celebrating New Year's, they have a Halloween party? This fic adds so many layers and soft moments to the original, but still includes the heart and references we all love!

Halloween at Kensington by @hgejfmw-hgejhsf (book-verse)

@suseagull04: This is the Arthur POV of Halloween when his kids are little I didn't know I needed until I read it- this is so adorable, and Henry and Phillip's characterization in it is perfect!

I was cold as a stone (but I found what I'm lookin' for) by @miharaikko (book-verse)

@na-dineee: Author Henry has retreated to a small, secluded cabin in the mountains, hoping it will spark some writing inspiration. That's where he meets Alex, the owner of the cabin... The mountain and campfire vibes are absolutely wonderful. It's such a fluffy and heartfelt one-shot – just as recommendable as the other fics in the Flufftober: A Red Umbrella Collection.

Red, White and Royal Switcheroo by @xthelastknownsurvivorx (book-verse)

@suseagull04: This body swap AU left me wondering how everything would have been different in the rest of the story- it's that good! It has the heart and content of the original, plus moments that are brand new- and watching the boys pretend to be each other is fantastic!

Oblivion by @milowren29 (book-verse)

@dot524: This story has been on my reading list for a while and wow, did it live up to expectations! Alex and Henry are kidnapped during their visit to the hospital, and they trauma-bond during their experience. But what will happen afterward? How will this change things between them? The action, angst, and longing in here is spot-on and the storytelling is so well-done.

Sounds of Someday by dazedandconfused (book/movie-verse)

@na-dineee: USA 1972, three weeks on a road trip on the 'road to nowhere' heading toward Texas: writer Henry and farm boy Alex. This fic is so layered and full of hurt and emotions. The ending completely knocked the wind out of me. An absolute masterpiece, please everyone, read it – it's phenomenally good in terms of language, storytelling, and capturing the spirit of the time !!

blizzards and broken boundaries by @gayhoediaz (book-verse)

@na-dineee: Age gap – I love this trope with Henry and Alex. Here, it’s a 20+ year difference: Alex is a student, Henry his professor. Alex makes the move, Henry is very amenable. The alternating POV is so cleverly done, the tags say PWP, but I definitely felt all the feelings. Absolutely delicious!

These violent delights by @lizzie-bennetdarcy (book-verse)

@suseagull04: Henry as a vampire hunter in this fic is such an intriguing concept and the backstory of it and the fic's conflict is so well done!

With magic soakin' my spine, can you read my mind? by @hgejfmw-hgejhsf (book-verse)

@suseagull04: Pining and magic and revelations abound in this fic that's written so well, it gave me chills. This fic is definitely a must-read if you want a canon divergent fic that has just a hint of magic!

to belong to a family (even beyond this world) by @read-and-write- (book-verse)

@suseagull04: The Mexican part of Alex's heritage absolutely shines through in this- and this is definitely a fic you want to read if you want Día de los Muertos fic and all the Arthur feels! I also love all the neurodiversity in this fic!

A Beautiful Reality by @tinyarmedtrex (book-verse)

@na-dineee: Priest!Henry is back. The second part of The Only Heaven I'll Be Sent To Is When I'm Alone With You is out!! And – surprise: He’s not a priest anymore. But it’s not that easy to shake off those deeply rooted beliefs and Catholic guilt. Luckily, Alex is so patient and totally in love.

The Brightest Star by @aforgottennymph (book-verse)

@dot524: Single dad Alex meets children’s book author Henry, and they connect immediately. The obstacle in this story is Alex’s sense of duty to his daughter, Bia. She’s quick and creative, and she’s brimming with opinions. I’m a bit picky about OC’s and kids in fics, but this one was so well done. It’s full of fun dialogue and well-realized feelings and angst. Definitely check it out!

A Love That Haunts the Land by @14carrotghoul (book-verse)

@suseagull04: Once again, this author has blended Mexican culture and RWRB in a way that's so authentic- plus there's magic! This is one you won't want to miss!

check out our past Monthly Faves here ❤️

[ferociousmilfpope]

Nothing gets you into back into writing and creating quite like watching a good show. The first batch of episodes for season 2 came out today (November 9th, 2024) and I've binged it all without breaks, and here is all the thoughts I have 5 minutes after finishing.

They did not make Vi a cop. Read: she never accepts the lie of peace through violent 'peacemaking'. Her character was set up in such a way that she can't, and they stay loyal to that. Vi refuses the enforcers, refuses invasion, refuses shelter in Caitlyn's house to defy her, refuses the badge that would grant her everything she wants, refuses Caitlyn herself, refuses to take the easy 'violent' way out. Her cop art is two episodes long, and it involves her joining a small task force that does what would be considered minimal damage. All in line with both hers and the show's morals.

They made Caitlyn a cop. Read: in the push and pull of power, she chooses power. During the scene where Vi is talking to the 'good' cops the cute girl with the bright eyes mentions that Caitlyn bailed her by threating to withhold her families funding--she bribed them. It's funny. Vi acts as her control. She outright refuses and walks away from Caitlyn when she offers for her to join the forces. She talks her down from a full on enforcer attack to a small strike force comprising of herself, Caitlyn, the 'good' cops, and a poor alcoholic man off the street. When Caitlyn starts abusing her authority again when arresting some poor man left for dead in a vent, Vi cools her down again, deescalating the whole action further by telling her to call the rest of the strike force off now that they served their use. Caitlyn backs down again. Finally, when she gets so close to her goal of killing Jinx, and a final obstacle appears in front of her, seeing that the gun in her hand gives her the power to clear it, she decides to take the shot. This is Caitlyn's true turning point. When she shoots Vi, and then when she tries too shoot the at the kid and Jinx. The scene where they kiss is fits into this theme too: Vi begs her not to change, and Caitlyn tells her she wont. And she doesn't.

There is a difference between what a story portrays and what it says about what its portraying. All this to say this is politically, socially, philosophically conscious writing. For example, the beginning of episode two is a 'cool' montage of the strike force committing violence on the undercity. But it begins with the Kiramman ancestor's saying "the people of the undercity deserve to breath," and then cuts to Caitlyn using the vents to choke them. No matter how styling the montage is, the irony of the juxtaposition hits deep. At the end of episode two, Jinx mocks Vi for this specific fact, "you're poisoning us too now?" The

And therein lies their tension: Vi is never seduced by power or lofty visions. Caitlyn is, both to cope with her personal tragedy, and because it comes easy to her. It is all tied together by the motif of the vents and the smog. Finally, despite the depth of their interpersonal conflicts, and their personal psychologies and aspirations--there are the people of Zaun, and the poison they ingest. 'Janna's' wind blows away Caitlyn (and Vi) and all the smog, and redirects it towards the surface. And it is the perfect tie: scoping out from interpersonal drama to games of power.

Everybody is sort of pushed around in the aforementioned games of power. Caitlyn by the specter of her mother and her legacy (and love); Vi by her 'guilt by taint' connection to Jinx and love for Caitlyn, Jinx by her filial love for Silco, Jayce by his public expectations. Whatever their crimes and mistakes we can at least sympathize with their reluctance at their inclusion in the game. The active player in the first season was Mel--here, its Ambessa. And unlike Mel, her sights are on war and power at all costs. She moves all the pawn pieces: orchestrates the attack on the memorial, manipulates the sole remaining council member, and finally recruits Caitlyn as her mask, as a symbol to hide behind and maneuver with even more freedom. The scene where Ambessa calls out for war and invites Caitlyn, intercut with all the moves she made to get everyone here, is one the my favorite scenes ever. Ambessa you're so sexy pls become more evil.

The fundamental lesson: Summed up for me in the title of S1E3: 'The Base Violence Necessary for Change'.

The connective thread is betrayal of love for something greater. Ambessa abandons Mel in her pursuit of power (despite her claims to the contrary). Caitlyn abandons Vi in her pursuit of power. Victor abandons Jayce to ????. And, the central conflict of the show, Vi abandons Jinx in her adherence to her morals and self-ascribed protector role. Unlike any of them though,--unlike Cait who butts Vi in her old wound, or Vi does not manage to actually punch Jinx when she gets the chance. Maybe the greater good should include the things we love? Is it worth anything if it doesn't?

Arcane has an amazing team of artists and writers behind it. Whatever fumbles it has are directorial. Victor's arc continues to be this. I wanted machine herald, not arcane jesus. I can appreciate the 'close call with the void brought me enlightenment concerning the weakness of the human conditions', but that isn't how they've gone about it so far so. I don't think we're getting machine herald from this, and I hope I'm wrong.

Closing remarks:

It continues to amaze me that I got exactly the show I wanted, with exactly the characters I wanted, with exactly the region I wanted explored, with exactly the themes and politics I wanted explored. THEY MADE A SHOW ABOUT MY FAVORITE CHARACTER, MY FAVORITE LESBIANS IN LEAGUE, and my favorite geopolitical conflict in league. I tear up a little when I think about it. This show feels like it was made specifically for me.

The budged thrown towards this thing shows like in no other production.

The character designs are AMAZINGGGGGG. The chem barons are my favorite.

Them including Janna's story, especially with such an important thematic role, is very meaningful to me.

[richincolor]

December Releases

As we prepare for our hiatus, we are gathering the releases for December all in one place for readers. Next week, we'll start posting our favorites from 2024 and then we will have a bit of a break and see you again in 2025. Here are the books we're watching for in December.

December 3

Encanto: Nightmares and Sueños by Alex Segura Disney Press

Return to Casita where we find seventeen-year-old Bruno from Disney’s hit animated film Encanto, where readers will finally learn what happened to make people never want to talk about him.

Fans will love this dark and mysterious young adult novel by Alex Segura, a NYT bestselling author who also wrote Poe Dameron: Free Fall and Araña and Spider-Man 2099: Dark Tomorrow.

Seventeen-year-old Bruno has never really fit in with his family—why can’t he be as outgoing as his sister Pepa, or as friendly as his sister Julieta? Does he like being the awkward loaner who never seems to find where he can fit in? But it’s hard to be popular when you have the power to tell the future and people don’t always like what you are telling them. So Bruno devises an act, and begins to model the behavior he feels the town wants to see in a hero.

But is being dishonest to himself and others the right path to walk down in order to make friends, or is Bruno just kidding himself as he hides from his own destiny that threatens to destroy all he holds dear?

My Fairy God Somebody by Charlene Allen HarperCollins

The way Clae’s mom tells it, her dad took off when Clae was a baby, end of story. Ever since, it’s just been the two of them, living in the coastal city of Gloucester, where Clae is one of the only few Black girls. But when Clae discovers clues about a mysterious person she calls her fairy god somebody, she’s determined to know more.

Her chance comes when she’s accepted into a summer journalism program in New York City, where her parents lived before she was born. With a couple of leads and a steel resolve, Clae leaves home for the first time to find out about her history.

New York is as full of magic as it is mystery, not to mention romance. From Brooklyn to Broadway, Clae and her new friends, Nze and Joelle, explore neighborhood haunts and hustles, discovering a family trail that someone’s tried hard to bury. So who is the fairy god somebody? And can Clae use her sleuthing skills to find out the truth?

Set against one unforgettable NYC summer, this is the story of lies that run deep and patterns that are meant to be broken. Clae, Nze, and Joelle will stick with you and remind you that every girl deserves to write her own story.

The Last One by Rachel Howzell Hall Entangled Publishing, LLC (Red Tower Books)

Thrown into a desolate land of sickness and unnatural beasts, Kai wakes in the woods with no idea who she is or how she got there. All she knows is that if she cannot reach the Sea of Devour, even this hellscape will get worse. But when she sees the village blacksmith fight invaders with unspeakable skill, she decides to accept his offer of help.

Too bad he’s as skilled at annoying her as he is at fighting.

As she searches for answers, Kai only finds more questions, especially regarding the blacksmith who can ignite her body like a flame, then douse it with ice in the next breath.

And no one is what—or who—they appear to be in the kingdom of Vinevridth, including the man whose secrets might be as deadly as the land itself.

When the Mapou Sings by Nadine Pinede Candlewick Press

Infused with magical realism, this story blends first love and political intrigue with a quest for justice and self-determination in 1930s Haiti.

Sixteen-year-old Lucille hopes to one day open a school alongside her best friend where girls just like them can learn what it means to be Haitian: to learn from the mountains and the forests around them, to carve, to sew, to draw, and to sing the songs of the Mapou, the sacred trees that dot the island nation. But when her friend vanishes without a trace, a dream—a gift from the Mapou—tells Lucille to go to her village’s section chief, the local face of law, order, and corruption, which puts her life and her family’s at risk.

Forced to flee her home, Lucille takes a servant post with a wealthy Haitian woman from society’s elite in Port-au-Prince. Despite a warning to avoid him, she falls in love with her employer’s son. But when their relationship is found out, she must leave again—this time banished to another city to work for a visiting American writer and academic conducting fieldwork in Haiti. While Lucille’s new employer studies vodou and works on the novel that will become Their Eyes Were Watching God, Lucille risks losing everything she cares about—and any chance of seeing her best friend again—as she fights to save their lives and secure her future in this novel in verse with the racing heart of a thriller.

December 17

Spell of the Sinister (A Fairy Godmother #2) by Danielle Paige Bloomsbury

Two magical sisters. One more chance at revenge. . . .

Ever since Cinderella disappeared with Prince Mather the queendoms have been in disarray. Now with her magical power completely unchecked, Galatea intends to exact revenge on humans for using the Entente. Her plan? Send Bari off to find a new prince and take over one queendom at a time. But Bari’s mission is complicated when South joins her and sparks begin to fly . . .

Meanwhile, Farrow is on her own journey to reunite with Cinderella and Prince Mather in the first Queendom. Amid brewing conflict, Farrow grapples with her feelings for Mather, her friendship with Cinderella, and her loyalty to the Entente’s original purpose–to influence with helpful magic, never take total control.

Once as close as sisters, Bari and Farrow now find themselves on opposing sides. Will malice win out, or will the next generation of Entente chart a new path to “happily ever after” for their magical coven of fairy godmothers?

December 24

Heavenly Tyrant (Iron Widow #2) by Xiran Jay Zhao Tundra Books

After suffering devastating loss and making drastic decisions, Zetian finds herself at the seat of power in Huaxia. But she has also learned that her world is not as it seems, and revelations about an enemy more daunting than Zetian imagined forces her to share power with a dangerous man she cannot simply depose. Despite having vastly different ideas about how they must deconstruct the corrupt and misogynist system that plagues their country, Zetian must join this man in a dance of truth and lies and perform their roles to perfection in order to take down their common enemy, who seeks to control them as puppets while dangling one of Zetian’s loved ones as a hostage.

With political unrest and perilous forces aiming to undermine Zetian at every turn, can she enact positive changes as a fair and just ruler? Or will she be forced to rely on fear and violence and succumb to her darker instincts in her quest for vengeance?

December 31

Ex Marks the Spot by Gloria Chao Viking Books for Young Readers

For Gemma’s whole life, it has always been her and her mom against the world. As far as she knew, all her grandparents—and thus her ties to Taiwanese culture—were dead. Until one day when a mysterious man shows up at her door with two shocking the news that her grandfather has just recently passed, and the first clue to a treasure hunt that Gemma hopes will lead to her inheritance.

There’s just one major to complete the hunt, she has to go to her grandfather’s home in Taiwan. And the only way she can get there is by asking her ex and biggest high-school rival, Xander, for help. But after swallowing her pride, Gemma finds herself halfway across the world, ready to unearth her life-changing prize. Soon Gemma discovers that the treasure hunt is about much more than money—it’s about finally learning about her family, her cultural roots, and maybe even finding true love.

Filled with ingenious puzzles, a vibrant Taipei setting, and a delicious romance, Ex Marks the Spot is an exciting adventure by award-winning writer Gloria Chao, perfect for fans of Loveboat Taipei, The Inheritance Games, and Thirteen Little Blue Envelopes.

[mixelation]

Literally all i know about wicked is the poster bc i think its nice. Can i ask you what its a fic of? Or just about?

uuuuh so wicked is actually weirdly complicated in terms of being a fic/adpatation/whatever. it's a fanfic of the wizard of oz but it gets weird:

the wonderful wizard of oz is a children's book published in 1900. it went on to have 13 sequels by the original author, and then literally tens more sequels by other authors. most of the books are about someone going on a journey and assembling a party of strange magical people and creatures and running into various strange places and occasionally dodging things trying to kill them. this means that there is a LOT of lore and zany characters to draw from.

the book is of course not nearly as famous as the 1939 movie, which is what most people think of when they think of the wizard of oz. the movie adaptation has the same basic plot outline as the first book, but streamlined and-- most importantly for understanding wicked-- it changed a lot of aesthetic details. the reason for this is that color movies were new, and they wanted to show off, so everything is ultra bright and colorful. in the book, the dorothy's magic shoes are silver. they changed them to ruby red because it pops more. also in the book, everything in the emerald city is white, but everyone entering the city must wear glasses to make everything appear green (for emeralds, you see). the movie producers were evidently like "what the fuck?" and instead made the emerald city extra color and bright and loud. oh, and the movie made the wicked witch green. in the book, she was not green and instead had one magic eye.

wicked is a 1995 novel which is of a specific genre which basically asks: what if the villain of the story secretly had a sympathetic backstory this whole time? what if the good guys weren't that good and the wicked witch was actually kind of the better person?! i did really like these as a kid, but they kind of appeal to me less now outside of nostalgia because as takes they're usually.... kind of immature? or else come off like they dislike the source material. anyway, wicked is about the origin story of the wicked witch of the west (now named elphaba), who is born green and discriminated against for it. i read the book back in high school and therefore don't remember a ton of details about the plot, but the world building involved feels like a bizarre fever dream and sort of lazy in its lack of canonical detail if you're an oz fan. i remember finding it especially bizarre because there's details drawn from the books, but the main premise is entirely in movie land, and a lot of major book details are basically just discarded/never acknowledged. this is what makes it, imho, a bad fanfic. i won't comment on the writing because it's been too long, but in terms of being a fanfic..... yeah, it's weird & kind of bad?

however, i don't think most wicked fans have read the book. most people talking about wicked mean the 2003 musical (which will have a movie adaptation this month and why i'm thinking about it). like the movie, the musical is more streamlined than the book it's based on, and fun songs are added!!! i've seen it twice and literally don't remember the plot. i do think the actually spectacle of it is cool, but i don't like most of the songs, and again, it feels like it hates the source material. some of the weirder things, off the top of my head:

i cannot begin to stress how being green is one of the more normal physical differences to have in oz. like i get that the "hated because she's GREEN" thing is just a vehicle for the metaphor, but what is the point of intentionally picking this setting if you're just going to discard it?

there's a subplot about the talking animals wanting rights. this could actually be super interesting to explore, because the status of animals in the land of Oz is never made super clear? it's stated that they can all talk, and yet we see farmers and people eat animal products. there are animal characters who are treated equal to humans, and animal characters that are very explicitly pets. yet wicked does not engage with this in any interesting way (at least in the musical -- in the book i just remember an animal sex club?!); it's just a very generic "we want rights!!!" thing happening without the actual method and system of discrimination being made clear

glinda's function in the books is to be a wise adult figure. she rides around in a flying chariot pulled by swans and hires only beautiful women to work for her and gives them swords. in wicked, she's a shallow prep character. i get it's supposed to be an ~origin story~ or whatever but my feeling was that there's no foundation for her future character being laid. unless you're only going with "pink, appears in a bubble" as your basis for character

the book and the musical are both set against highly political backdrops, but most of the politics are made up wholecloth because canonical oz is.... chaos. the land of oz is more like a bunch fo loosely tied city-states, many of which are so isolated they probably don't know they have a ruler. again, "the politics of oz" is something i think would be interesting to explore in a fanfic, but wicked seems to just want to have some politics around and slapped a vaguely oz aesthetic on it, making it feel shallow and preventing any sort of conversation with the source material

like i'm not saying that all fanfic NEEDS to be in conversation with the source material; i'm just saying, why write a fanfic if you literally only want the aesthetics of the movie? to help sell copies? sure. and i don't even think that automatically makes a piece of work bad (no hate, wicked fans), it's just makes it frustrating and unpleasant to consume if you're a fan of the source material

[chargoeson]

Hello! Writeblr re-Introduction

hiiiii pals! I made my writeblr introduction last year and it was such a good intro to the community! but as time goes on and organizations fall i want to re-introduce myself and my writing without any associations.

my name is Charlotte, but you can call me Char as well. She/Her, I'm 25, queer, and live in the Pacific Northwest of the United States.

I write literary fiction with a special affection for surrealism and dream-like vibes. I do have a couple soft fantasy and short story projects that I've made posts for, but I'll stick to my litfic on this pinned post as they are my passion projects!

themes I often explore in these books are: isolation, anxiety, complex relationships between mothers and daughters, bisexuality, winter, dissociation, and overall rural misery!

I have a bachelor's degree in English Language and Literature and paid special attention to Gothic and Romantic movements.

on top of writing, I also love quilting/sewing, collage making, playing Stardew Valley and Baldur's Gate 3, and doing DIY home renovations.

Reading is my passion, even more so than writing! My favorite authors are Murakami, Mieko Kawakami, the Bronte sisters, Iain Reid, Han Kang, and Ottessa Moshfegh.

my three main WIPS can stand alone but are technically a trilogy. read about them after the cut!

The Ballad of a Blue Whale-- This novella was written in November, 2023. It follows Maren Hara, a recent college graduate who has to move back in with her father, a rigid and unfeeling doctor. To cope with the emotional distance of her father and the slow dissolution of her relationships she begins walking through the night. Both to be away from home and removed from her current life. It’s during these walks she finds a jazz bar in an adjoining city. The patrons, and especially the owner of this bar, captivate her. At the core of the narrative is her inability to open herself to others, and how attempts to do so are physically and mentally cataclysmic, although necessary. As she finds herself, she loses both her old life and this interim space. 

I Want to Build a Home with You-- This novel is in the first draft/development stage. I began in December, 2023. Its events follow Leonie Richards as she walks her grandmother, famed novelist Hellen Barnaby, through the final weeks of her life then inherits her home. Leonie, once an infamous performance artist, decides to settle into a life of portrait painting for a small but wealthy pool of clients left to her by her grandmother. Her old peers. After Hellen’s death, Leonie’s final connections to the outside world are her strange clients, the art store clerk, and her uncle Ox who is embittered by his lack of inheritance. The longer she stays in the home, the stranger things seem to be. She wakes up ragged, dirt under her fingernails with memories of a rock formation in the forest she has never seen. Forest spirits or generational curse, there is a limerence threatening her life. 

No Glory-- Special Agent Seth Barnaby has been tasked with investigating the mysterious, possibly cult-associated murders of young women across the state, but this one could be the key. To decode the newest set of clues he teams up with Director of Anthropology Dr. Miel Noh and they get into the field. The small town misleads them at every turn, from an odd boy named Calf to the corpse of a girl who was staying in his family’s motel. With Seth’s checkered past he recognizes the patterns, but time is of the essence and if they don’t find answers another woman could die. With no way out, they return to the only lead Seth knows: an institutionalized man who confessed to the first murder that brought Seth to the FBI years ago.

and that's a wrap! thank you for reading, would love to reconnect with writers from last year as well as new friends. feel free to slide into my asks, follow, or join the tag list.

tags: @annlillyjose @coffeeandcalligraphy @subtlefires @belovedviolence @onomatopiya @thelaughingstag

[calinaannehart]

@princessfbi absolutely laying it out there! How dare fans judge other fans for something bringing them joy!

You love a fic? Great! That’s amazing. Writers love to hear that you love their work.

But you must never forget that what you get you are getting for free, as a bonus, because we love it just as much as you do.

I work a 50 hour week which includes night shifts, I run a home, I have commitments, hobbies, yet I squeeze in writing around that even when I really don’t have time to. But I don’t because I love telling the stories I want to see.

But that doesn’t give a reader the right to demand updates or criticise an author when they write a plot of a pairing they don’t like.

Do you still write for buddie or are you exclusively a bucktommy writer?

I write, as I always have, whatever brings me joy.

I'm going to say something and this is not directed at you Nonnie. It's just something I've needed to get off my chest and you've unfortunately opened the door. This is something that's been happening since the moment I "deviated" from what other people have been demanding.

Fanfic is not my job. Creating content is not my job. Crafting your escapism is not my responsibility.

I write for me. I write what I want to write and when I want to write it. I am not a machine. I am not getting paid. I am not here serve to the masses. The sheer entitlement some people have had these last few months has been exhausting. When we, the authors, see you talk about how we've "forsaken" you or you talk about how you can't understand what it is we see in something you personally don't want to read? The answer is simple: it's because we like it. It's because it brings us joy. It's because it's not fucking about you.

My fanfic is about me.

Let's look at the timeline of my works:

Most recent going down.

Bucktommy

Tumblr prompts which include Bucktommy, Buddietommy, and Buddie

Buddie

Buddietommy

Bucktommy

Buddie

Bucktommy

All of that has been written post 7x04.

Do you know how many words I have written for Buddie?

1,558,689 Words.

Over a million words have been dedicated to Buddie.

So excuse me for doing something else that may also bring me joy. Excuse me for having the audacity to not cater to your every whims and pleasure. Fanfics are a form of escapism. I get it. But this is not my job. This is not a Starbucks. I do not owe you anything and to imply otherwise just shows how much you truly do not value it. Half of you can't even be bothered to leave a comment. You spit in the face of people's joy and you have been cruel, mean spirited, and unkind. All of you.

I am a person with wants and needs including a moment of goddamn peace in this shit show of a world we find ourselves in. I am entitled to curating and creating my own form of joy. I am a person. I should not have to beg you to see that. And the fact that these last few months people cannot and will not acknowledge that makes me not want to write for Buddie ever again.

I'm going to because that is my joy. I am making the choice to share it with the world. But it will be on my terms. Because what I write is about me. It is for me.

So if that means I write for Bucktommy or Buddie or some entirely different show or movie that catches my attention then it will be because I have decided I want to do it. Not anyone else.

[bnhaobservation]

BNHA ENDING or how a good plan might become something not so good when written down

So time has gone by but people who’re unsatisfied about BNHA ending remain.

Of course part of this might be because people had personal wishes that weren’t fulfilled, and part of this might be due to cultural clash that didn’t allow the whole message of the story to pass smoothly when the story was offered to an international readership, but, I think, another problem might be that Horikoshi’s Doylist purposes end up on moving the characters more than their Watsonian intentions.

What do I mean by this?

When you write a story you often draw a general outline of what you, the author, want to happen in it so that you’ll insure the themes of the story, the messages you want to pass and the arcs you want to close will be carried on by the plot. It’s usually a good thing because it allows you to stay on track.

Then you flesh out everything by writing the story itself. This is the part in which you write the characters and make them move as if everything that happens in the story was due to their wants, wishes and mistakes and not due to your own will, so that the story feels like a smooth and logical narration of what people are doing of their own free will and of what is logically happening to them in consequence.

The BNHA ending has a good outline as the author’s plan was definitely good.

As the ending touches various plotlines I’ll take the part regarding the Todoroki plotline for example (also because it’s the part I love the most) but I could take almost whatever bit of it, starting from the bit in which the plan to split the Villains is put in action.

So let’s first go through what the outline Horikoshi planned likely said:

FINAL WAR ARC

Touya and Shouto end up together in Kamino and, with them there are also Endeavor’s sidekicks and Iida (PLUS POINT: This will built up the idea of how Endeavor’s sidekicks will remain supportive of him so that their arc will close with them continuing to be supportive of him in the epilogue). Touya and Shouto talk and how Touya survived the fire is revealed (PLUS POINT: this clears up something we were previously left in the dark about and starts to get the basis for the idea that AFO is to blame for everything). Shouto and the sidekicks realize Touya is suicidal. Touya and Shouto have a big COOL fight in which Shouto put to action a new ultimate move (PLUS POINT: Shouto shows why he was born in his family carrying on his arc). Touya is temporally stopped.

In Gunga Endeavor gets distracted and All for One makes him even more upset by revealing his involvement in Touya’s tragedy. This leads Enji to end up wounded but he thinks back to his origin and overcomes this (PLUS POINT: Enji gets a tragic past) and, despite losing his arm, put up a big COOL fight, thinks at how he won’t stand in the way of the kids’ future and manages to seriously wound All for One. All for One uses the rewind bullet.

Touya wakes up, copies Shouto’s technique and uses Kurogiri’s warp gate to reach his father. Shouto and the rest remain behind. Enji worries about Shouto’s survival and then leads Touya away from the battleground only to discover his son is about to blow up and he can’t stop him. Endeavor discovers Touya also has a ice Quirk. Geten tells us the Himura’s history and how he’s an Himura and Compress is alive (PLUS POINT: this explains why ice Quirk was predominant in Enji’s kids to the point even Touya has one ice quirk). Enji takes responsibility and decides to die with Touya. Rei, Fuyumi and Natsuo arrive and try to help (PLUS POINT: the Todorokis deal with their regrets carrying on their arc and Touya finally feels seen which carries on his arc). Shouto arrives there thanks to Iida (PLUS POINT: Iida becomes the Hero he wanted to be carrying on his arc) and saves the day in a COOL way. Enji apologizes to Touya who cries and his fire, both physical and psychological is finally shut down (PLUS POINT: This mostly ends Touya’s arc), then Enji apologizes to the whole family (PLUS POINT: he carries on his atonement arc). Shouto faints.

EXTRA

Shouto and Enji will fight again against All for One in Shigaraki's body (PLUS POINT: this carries on their atonement to society), although it’ll be Midoriya the one who'll beat him.

In the epilogue, days after the battle ended, the whole family will visit Touya at the hospital, where we’re told Touya is dying. The family confirms its wish to keep on talking with him until he’ll die, Shouto and Touya learn how each other favorite food is the same (PLUS POINT: This allow Touya and Shouto to connect and lead Touya to regret what he did to Shouto, closing their ‘siblings’ arc). Once the family leaves Touya, the fate of the other family members is revealed: Fuyumi got another job, Natsuo will marry and cut contacts with Enji, Shouto will continue to stay at U.A. high, Rei will remain with Enji who’ll continue to try to protect his kids. (PLUS POINT: Enji continues to take responsibility, strengthening his atonement arc) Natsuo acknowledges his father's efforts as cool, calling him father for the first time (PLUS POINT: this ends the Todoroki family arc in a way that paves the way for a possible reconciliation (even though Natsuo previously expressed the wish to never see Enji again), and therefore to a happy ending for the family). Enji’s sidekicks as well as Hawks and Kurumada will keep on supporting Enji (PLUS POINT: This reaffirms the theme of supporting Heroes when they can’t keep up any longer). Much later Shouto is confirmed to have turned into the Hero he wanted to be. (PLUS POINT: This closes Shouto’s arc)

THE END

Of course this is not, exactly, how Horikoshi wrote his outline, this is how I think he wrote it according to the story he wrote (but the plot might have been changed along the way, enriched or shortened), and I’ve split the whole outline in two parts, labeling as extra the final fight with All for One and the epilogue. That’s because the final fight with AFO is more a cameo and the epilogue merely confirms and expands most of what was basically into the final war arc already, with one notable exception, the ‘reconciliation’ between Shouto and his brother which we can find SOLELY in the epilogue.

I’ve also underlined the action scenes as ‘COOL’ because in an action manga like BNHA you need cool fighting scenes, and often people think the more, the better.

So, as you can see, in the final war outline, we’ve three cool fighting moments (the Shouto/Touya fight, the Enji/AFO fight, Shouto saving the day) [yeah, I’m not counting as a fight the Enji/Touya one as there was really no fighting… if you want we can label Touya’s nuking technique as cool, but as it ends up sliding into Shouto’s cool final saving the day moment it feels redundant to do so], the chance to expand things with info (how Touya survived, AFO’s involvement, the Himura background) and moments in which the characters’ arcs are advanced/lead to conclusion. The epilogue is mostly kind of like a bonus which just strengthen and confirm all that was said/shown here (the only really relevant thing here is the moment of bonding between Shouto and Touya, everything else was implied, if not outright stated, in previous scenes).

Anyway, in this outline we’ve Shouto becoming the Hero he wants to be, the Todoroki family coming together and finally looking at Touya, Enji acknowledging his wrongdoings, showing he’s willing to sacrifice so as not to let his son die alone (finally acting like a father) and apologizing to Touya and to the rest of the family, and Touya sort of reconciling with them. Yes, I hear you, he still said he hates his father, but he switched from ‘die shitty old man’ to ‘I hate you, dad’ and he’s crying and previously he thought he wanted to talk with them more so this is Touya’s way to ‘reconcile’ by venting to his family instead than against the world like Natsuo and Shouto and Enji asked him to do.

Originally there was another plus point, Shouto commenting it was Touya the one who was the Masterpiece Endeavor wanted (someone with an amazing firepower and who could use ice to cool himself down), which meant to close the arc in which he viewed himself as a failure as well as be another stab to Enji, but it was removed for the final version likely because it was completely in bad taste in such an emotional moment for Shouto to slip into the Masterpiece topic, never mentioning the realization Touya was the one with the Quirk Enji wanted all along, came already when Enji realized Touya had a fire Quirk, no need to repeat it, and so all that remained was Shouto showing appreciation for his brother’s ability to raise heat.

It’s a damn good outline, one that carries on the family members arcs and gives us cool moments and additional info and so on. It works great on paper.

It doesn’t work so great when Horikoshi transposed it into his manga though.

Why?

Because the Doylist reasons for why things happen often force the characters to act in a way for which the Watsonian reasons, even when the story gives them (and it doesn’t always give them), are poor or not so good, when not outright OOC.

Basically on the Watsonian side of the story we’ve plenty of problems and, while we can make up some answers for them, fundamentally the story mostly handwaves them because they’re not important, what’s important is for the story to keep on following the outline.

In fact let’s go through the outline again and look at what doesn’t work for the Watsonian perspective but works just fine for the Doylist one.

Touya and Shouto end up together in Kamino and, with them there are also Endeavor’s sidekicks and Iida.

Watsonian problem: The sidekicks hardly contribute to the fight. 4 Heroes, 3 of them seasoned Pro and they just stand around and watch as Touya and Shouto exchange blows, with only one notable exception in which Enji’s sidekicks take a blow aimed at Shouto at the end of the fight, when all around a war is waged and resources are stretched thin. From a Watsonian perspective it doesn’t make sense, there’s no reason to waste resources like that. So why this happens?

Doylist answer: The sidekicks and Iida can’t attack Touya, that’s Shouto’s moment to shine, bringing him down isn’t meant to be a group effort but the result of Shouto’s hard work who, through this, proves why he was born in that family and moves to the path for becoming the Hero he wants to be. At the same time Iida needs to be there because he’ll bring Shouto to Gunga later on and the sidekicks need to be there because Horikoshi needs to develop them so as it wouldn’t come out of nowhere they would support Enji at the end of the story. Also, involving the sidekicks in the fight too much, would stretch the scene more and make it look as if the Heroes are ganging up on Touya, who’s not as powerful as AFO. This would end up making Shouto look weak and the fight look unfair as it would be Touya against many. So it’s one against one and Shouto can win by his power only.

Touya and Shouto talk…

Watsonian problem: Touya and Shouto talk more than once through the fight, but all their talks carry on the same problem. In fact we see how Touya first complains about how Enji isn’t there to face him, which upsets him because he interprets it as Enji AGAIN not caring about him, which again hurts him. Then he tells Shouto he went back home only to discover again he was judged a failure and the family left him in the past, which was something that hurt him. Ultimately Touya tells Shouto they’re different and Shouto can’t understand him. All this hurts Touya and makes him angry and more determinate to fight Shouto. Shouto though, could have corrected Touya’s beliefs. Shouto KNOWS Enji wanted to face him, Enji even phoned Shouto asking him to switch, Shouto knows the family didn’t forget Touya but mourned him, his mother’s health got worse when he was assumed dead, Natsuo spent more time talking to the Butsudan than talking to Shouto, when Touya turned out alive his father cried and the whole family expressed regret for what had happened. Shouto wants to connect with Touya, he wants to sit down and eat with him, he would even accept to eat hot udon in order to connect. Shouto is also a kind boy who doesn’t want to cause people pain and doesn’t want his brother to die. Shouto however doesn’t say anything to soothe Touya’s pain/anger. First he makes the fact Enji didn’t come there all about himself, saying HE came here to face Touya because he decided so (either way Touya wanted to interpret it, Enji didn’t want to come but Shouto wanted or Enji wanted to come but Shouto didn’t let him is not going to make things better), then, instead than reassuring Touya he was missed, Shouto worries about telling him that he won’t let him hurt people. Also, when Shouto will scold Touya, he won’t tell him he’s wrong in thinking his family didn’t care, that his family is actually still suffering for him, no, he’ll do it from a morally superior point, telling him ‘yes, father was a madman and our family was screwed but you decided to burn people on your own when you should have aimed your rage at us’. The result is he NEVER denies Touya’s family didn’t care about him, he doesn’t soothe Touya’s pain but enrages him further, which clearly leads Touya to want to fight more and to use more of his firepower which hurts himself and the ones around him. Not only enraging Touya is counterproductive as it worsen the situation instead than improving it, but it let Touya in pain and stewing in false beliefs, which is uncharacteristic for Shouto. From a Watsonian perspective it doesn’t make a lot of sense Shouto wouldn’t tell Touya the truth about his family loving him and missing him, and therefore Touya being wrong in raging… especially since Shouto had a full arc about the importance of connecting the heart, yet Shouto doesn’t, to the point such behaviour borders on OOC and unnatural for him, so why he does so?

Doylist answer: Shouto can’t soothe Touya’s rage because Touya’s rage is FUNDAMENTAL to lead Touya to fight him and then, consequently, to try to nuke Japan. If Shouto had managed to calm Touya down, to connect with him, the battle wouldn’t have happened or, if it had, Touya wouldn’t have been so enraged he couldn’t bring Enji Shouto’s head he would try to nuke Japan in order to hurt Enji. Shouto has to worsen Touya’s rage and his physical conditions (let’s remember Touya is meant to die soon by the end of the epilogue) as well to carry on the plot. What’s more, Shouto has to talk about himself so as to remember the readers about Shouto’s arc, about Shouto becoming a certain kind of Hero. His speech is IMPORTANT for his arc, instead than with moments of attempted connection, the fight is peppered with discussions on how Shouto took the long way as a Hero, how he improved flashfire, how Shouto has to fight him because that’s the only way to reach the goal he’s aiming at, how that’s Shouto’s power, how this will affirm the reason why HE WAS BORN IN THE FAMILY (skipping completely how instead Touya wanted to know why he was born in that family). That because Horikoshi, instead than prioritizing creating a connection between the two brothers, decides to prioritize furthering Shouto’s arc as a Hero, and that he will focus on the connection between the two siblings in the epilogue. Also, at the same time, Shouto’s speech is IMPORTANT for everyone’s arc as it triggers Touya into discussing why they’re all there fighting. Plus… the whole moralizing speech is something that all the Heroes do when facing their Villains in this final arc. Probably, since the Villains were sympathetic, Horikoshi felt the need to remember to a younger audience that no, what they were doing wasn’t right. Long story short, Shouto’s words are functional for the story to advance it the way Horikoshi wanted it to advance.

… and how Touya survived the fire is revealed.

Watsonian problem 1: The Touya flashback ends up with the explanation that Garaki and All for One left him go because he only had a month to live… a month in which, if Touya had decided to remain at his home, he could have revealed everything behind Garaki’s orphanage to the Number Two Hero. Why Garaki didn’t worry about this? It makes no sense.

Doylist answer 1: In the story the problem is inexistent because Touya won’t remain home and therefore won’t reveal anything. The main purpose for the flashback isn’t really to explain what happened to Touya, but to set up how the blame for what happened to Touya had to be placed also on AFO and giving Touya an additional sad backstory so as to further increase the empathy readers have for him and give him more reasons to rage. We’ve to feel bad for him, it’s a tragedy, a kid who loved his family and wanted to become a Hero now has turned into a Villain who wants to kill his family, a tragedy that could have been avoided if Enji had changed his ways. We also need to hate AFO more because he meddled with the Todoroki family ruining further Touya’s life... and this prepares the ground for how he manipulated/ruined Tomura's life too. Also, remembering all this, Touya has to rage more because, remember, this is mainly ‘angering Touya’ time.

Watsonian problem 2: To explain how Touya survived even though he supposedly only had a month of life we’re told… it was his grudge who kept him alive. To swallow this asks us a huge suspension of disbelief as Touya survives FOR YEARS with ZERO HELP, in apparently good conditions (we never see him feeling sick or something) which kind of backfires as it becomes harder to accept Touya could survive without medical aid (or any sort of aid for the matter as Touya has no one to help him and no money) for years just fine, never showing any physical problem through the story beyond his burnt skin, all this thanks to his grudge, but won’t live long at the end of the war despite having medical aid and people wanting to take care of him. In truth way too many situations in the story begs for our suspension of disbelief SO HARD, that it becomes hard to accept characters can indeed die, it feels more like they have been forcefully killed off by the author instead than that they had met their expected fate.

Doylist answer 2: Horikoshi likely assumed by saying Touya was meant to die so long ago, it would make easy for the readers to accept now he has to die, that he has burned up all his resources and that his death would feel like a natural conclusion for him, since HE WAS MEANT TO DIE BY A LONG TIME. In short, after asking us to suspend our disbelief, he’s asking us to accept the realism he can’t live any longer. He’s basically preparing the ground for Touya’s incoming death, a death that won’t take place on the battlefield, and that will take place despite Touya getting medical aid. He wants us to think that nothing can be done, that this was meant to happen. The intention is good... the execution is not.

Shouto and the sidekicks realize Touya is suicidal.

Watsonian problem: Wait, hadn’t Shouto realized it sooner, in the Paranormal Liberation War arc? When Touya has hugged him, Shouto has pointed out how Touya would burn himself as well (implying this would kill him as Touya is even more burnable than Shouto) and had showed concern, to which Touya basically replied he didn’t care as long as it hurts Enji. Actually Enji too, watching the scene, should have realized it and yet it never goes discussed by the family, nor the Heroes are warned about this. This is important, a suicidal person would go much farther in a fight than a not suicidal one, in fact we’ll later see Touya is okay with exploding himself to hurt Enji. This information needed to be shared and yet Shouto and the sidekicks acts as if they had just found out about it. Have they forgotten about it?

Doylist answer: Shouto and Enji couldn’t realize Touya wanted to die because otherwise they should have worried with the family about SAVING Touya from himself. No one in the family wants Touya to die, so Touya being willing to die/wanting to die to hurt Enji would have become an additional problem and source of concern. Instead the family prefers to worry about how, since they hurt Touya, now Touya is out on hurting society, skipping how he’s also hurting himself as the more he uses his flames, the more he burns himself. This is because the family back then had to worry about STOPPING Touya from hurting others, they've to feel guilty about the damage that's being done to society due to them, and they’ve to realize they’ve to worry about Touya’s survival LATER, when Enji will face Touya and then he’ll be joined by the rest of the family as they attempt to stop Touya from exploding. So the whole thing about how Touya is suicidal and showed it already, goes somehow forgotten, only to come up later on.

All for One makes him (Enji) even more upset by revealing his involvement in Touya’s tragedy

Watsonian problem: AFO says he tried to take advantage of Enji’s longing for power for ages, which lead him to target Touya. So far so good. But then Touya escapes and AFO just… let him go because Touya is gonna die. And never again AFO tried to take advantage of Enji’s longing for power by… let’s say targeting Shouto or Fuyumi and Natsuo, or even Rei. No, he did try with Touya, it didn’t work, and he let it go and, for years, he did nothing to try to take advantage of it again. Why didn’t he try again? Also… all his trying with Touya constituted in him picking Touya up once he burned himself. Not only he didn’t orchestrate the situation (like instead he did with Tenko) but what if Touya hadn’t lost control of his Quirk and burned himself? What if Enji had gone there before Touya were to lose control of his fire? If one of the above had happened, Touya would have been saved and AFO couldn't have managed to take advantage of Enji's longing for power. This doesn’t feel like a carefully planned plan, this feels like AFO randomly passing by and catching the chance… and it feels pretty similar to how Garaki talks about how they wanted Eraser Head’s power, made an attempt, it failed and they settled up for Shirakumo’s power never trying to get Eraser Head's power again (Chap 270). This undermines AFO’s characterization as a careful planner, it feels more like he follows random spur of the moments.

Doylist answer: This has likely as main answer that originally there were no plans for an Endeavor/AFO fight. Horikoshi revealed Enji was meant to die in the Paranormal Liberation War Arc, during which AFO woke up at the last minute. Likely AFO wasn’t going to give Enji a speech on how he had a hand in his son’s disappearance to distract him.  Mind you, Garaki showed interest in Dabi from the Villain academia arc, so Garaki and AFO were likely always meant to be involved in Touya’s survival… but, since there was no plan to slam it on Enji’s face, in the first draft their involvement might have been a (un)lucky accident, which would have fit more with how things went. However telling that AFO instead planned and orchestrated it works well for the story. It paint an even more terrible image of AFO as a great mastermind (preparing the ground for when he’ll reveal he was behind Tenko’s tragedy) and it adds to Enji’s arc by underlining even more his responsibility in Touya’s tragedy. Not only Touya burned due to Enji’s mistakes and his decision not to go on Sekoto Peak, but due to his ambition his son was also targeted by AFO. As if this wasn’t enough, it contributes to create drama and a problem Enji will overcome, in fact the revelation causes Enji to lose it, attack AFO and get wounded so that he’ll have to rouse up himself again, while at the same time making space for Jirou and Tokoyami to do something, before Enji’s COOL fight with AFO.

This leads Enji to end up wounded but he thinks back to his origin and overcomes this

Watsonian problem: Wait, wasn’t Enji’s origin how he got envious of All Might and wanted to surpass him? Weren’t we told this over and over and over and over? Why no one ever mentioned him losing his father? Why the whole things is extremely vague and unclear and not foreshadowed at all?

Doylist answer: The point of the scene is give Enji drama and a motivation to rise up. A dead father when he was in middle school is dramatic and traumatic, no matter how unclear the whole thing is, actually the whole thing being unclear works to push the readers to interpret it as they prefer, making easier to generate sympathy toward him after having just reminded us how it was due to Enji’s mistakes that Touya was targeted. Of course the scene is not foreshadowed because if Enji was meant to die in the Paranormal Liberation War Arc, this revelation was never going to take place.

(Enji) thinks at how he won’t stand in the way of the kids’ future

Watsonian problem: Why when he thinks so, he thinks only at Shouto (and class A?) What about Natsuo and Fuyumi? What about Touya?

Doylist answer: Credits when it’s due, even discounting the fact that Touya is dying and suicidal, Touya was never meant to have a future if the Heroes were to win but just to be jailed in a new Tartarus and, likely, consequently executed (as in BNHA they can sentence people to death, Moonfish was on death row before he escaped). When Enji says he’ll keep his eyes on Touya, Enji doesn’t mean he’ll look at him the way Touya wants but that he’ll keep him under control so he won’t be capable to harm society any further. It’s only later Enji will realize he should have also looked at Touya the way Touya wanted him to, but this doesn’t change Enji knows Touya doesn’t have a future and Horikoshi surely couldn’t show us as an example of bright future a jailed and executed Touya, a Shouto that walks toward his classmates and toward the future looks much better. As for Fuyumi and Natsuo, compared to Shouto, they’re considered minor characters so the story doesn’t bother with them. It’s important to say Enji’s past won’t be a hindrance to Shouto’s future because Horikoshi assumes among the Todoroki kids that’s the only future we care about. It’s something we’ll see also in the final chapter when only Shouto’s future will be shown (there though it makes more sense as the narrator is Midoriya and he might not know about Fuyumi and Natsuo’s future).

Touya wakes up…

Watsonian problem: Why does Touya take so much time waking up after Shouto hits him? It can’t be he fainted if he was copying and keeping active Shouto’s technique so why he takes so long?

Doylist answer: To give the plot time to advance Touya couldn’t wake up immediately. Also the idea Touya lost makes it for a surprise once he wakes up.

(Touya) copies Shouto’s technique

Watsonian problem: Not only Touya copies Shouto’s technique successfully after just seeing it for a short time, while Shouto had to try it out many times before grasping it but, while Shouto keeps on losing concentration to keep it active, Touya will manage to keep it active no-stop, even when he's unconscious, even when his mind is supposedly gone, all this while his stats regarding techniques are considerably lower than Shouto (Shouto has first 5/5 and then 4/6 while Touya has 3/5, 2/6 and 2/6). How is that possible?

Doylist answer: Stats are either clearly not reliable (all of Touya’s stats are considerably lower than Shouto which should make very easy for Shouto to defeat him…) or influenced by how Touya doesn’t bother creating new techniques but just copies others’… even though he clearly manages to learn them without teaching, quickly and can use them better. But the real core point of Touya managing to keep Shouto’s technique ongoing while Shouto kept on losing concentration during the fight is that in the Shouto/Touya fight this created tension, and made harder for Shouto to fight, in the Enji/Touya ‘fight’, not only Touya keeping up phosphor no-stop allows him not to get destroyed by the cumulating heat but, even if this wasn’t the case, Touya losing concentration would be just a distraction to the chase and, later, to Enji’s speech. We’ll see Shouto also effortlessly managing to keep up phosphor later on, despite Shouto being completely worn out and stressed and even rolling on the ground due to a fall, when he’ll race toward where Touya is, and this will also be because him losing control of it would have been a distraction, so Shouto also conveniently managed to learn how to keep it costantly active.

Shouto and the rest remain behind.

Watsonian problem: Why Shouto doesn’t try to chase Touya like Uraraka and Tsuyu do? He has his fire that would allow him to fly to where the gate is, he has his ice who could raise him, why he doesn’t even try? He’s not too tired for it, when he’ll try to go there with Iida he’ll use his fire and ice no-stop and yet now he doesn't even try to chase and therefore stop his brother from reaching his father. Why?

Doylist answer: If Shouto has given chase right then, we wouldn’t have had the chance to let Iida have his cool moment and fulfill his arc, nor we would have needed to have Enji face Touya. Shouto has to remain there to watch in order for later to have Iida help him reach Touya as that was why Iida was there, and also in order for his father and his family to face Touya before he’ll arrive to save the day, otherwise it would have been a Touya vs Shouto part 2 with no chance for the other Todorokis to confront Touya.

Enji worries about Shouto’s survival…

Watsonian problem: Why Enji doesn’t worry about Touya’s condition but just worries about Shouto, when Enji is supposed to care about Touya too and Touya is in horrible conditions, with people wondering how he’s still alive? According to the story Enji loves Touya and, as soon as he sees him this should be his first thought, and then, the next thought should be for Shouto as he’s nowhere to be seen and Touya had bad intentions toward him. What’s more, why since transmitters work (we’ll see it with All Might) Shouto or someone else in his group hadn’t warned Enji Touya was about to show up? Touya could have caught them on surprise, causing serious damage. And why Enji hadn’t checked upon Shouto’s group by using the transmitters, which would have been safer than ask Touya (as the latter could lie) and wouldn’t have hurt him?

Doylist answer: Because, of course, it’s Enji’s turn to upset Touya so that Touya will keep on being angry. Enji couldn’t worry for him or apologize to him, this must happen later, and Touya must be affected by the apology, but we still need him to try to nuke Japan first, so Enji can’t do something to tone down his anger, he actually makes it worse by asking about Shouto. And, of course the transmitters aren’t used exactly because if Enji had known beforehand Shouto was fine, he wouldn’t have asked Touya about Shouto. It also serves to introduce Touya’s determination to destroy something to hurt Enji.

…then leads him away from the battleground only to discover his son is about to blow up and he can’t stop him.

Watsonian problem: Why, since Enji had the time to ask him about Shouto, Enji doesn’t try to talk with Touya FIRST but just tries leading him away? Since Touya will use his Quirk to give chase, he will only hurt himself more and he’s in an already horrible condition. Enji doesn’t want Touya to die, so why would he want to cause damage to him? Also why Touya’s mind is declared gone when he asks for Natsuo to play with him, but not only he can keep up phosphor and concentrating heat inside him, but later he’ll be aware enough of his surrounding to realize Rei, Natsuo and Fuyumi have arrived (meaning he could tell who’s there and who isn’t), will realize everyone is watching him, will ponder on it lamenting it should have happened sooner, will think at his origin and about how things aren’t so simple and how he wants to talk more with his family and, once Shouto hits him with his blow, will also speak in a perfectly coherent manner, in short he does plenty of things that seem to point out his mind is not gone?

Doylist answer: If Enji has talked with Touya first, again this would have risked soothing him and so it couldn’t be done. But at a certain point Enji needed to talk with Touya so as to let the readers know of his feelings, so Touya conveniently loses his mind (same as Spinner, in a way to Kurogiri and similar to Shigaraki who’s possessed) in order not to hear anything of the sort and keep up continuing what he’s doing… how he kept on doing what he’s doing (using phosphor, collecting heat) if he was thinking he was playing with Natsuo is something the story doesn’t bother trying to explain but just asks us to suspend our disbelief, possibly invoking the rule of cool. But then we needed for Touya to realize his family was there and for us to hear Touya’s thoughts so… his mind has to go back to coherent again. Because the story needs so.

Enji apologizes to Touya who cries…

Watsonian problem: Touya cries? Wait, wasn’t he unable to cry? Was that a lie?

Doylist answer: Having Touya cry was the easiest way to deliver his feelings. Horikoshi already forgot he said Touya couldn’t cry when he made him cry tears of blood… and we also saw him crying during the flashback when he was told by AFO about his status and when he went back home. Long story short, likely Horikoshi retconned that part because now tears well work to deliver Touya’s feelings (Touya is going to cry another time in the epilogue). Touya being unable to cry and losing blood from his scars in place of tears, or the visual of the hair dye dropping from his eyes in place of tears, worked well for the previous part of the story, so likely, when Horikoshi had him saying so it wasn’t meant to be a lie. It was just something he retconned because it didn’t work well anymore.

Enji apologizes to the whole family

Watsonian problem: Why Enji apologizes just for ONE thing for each family member when he actually hurt them in more than one way? (he shouldn’t just regret he didn’t go to Sekoto Peak, but also that he neglected Touya and caused him to be targeted by AFO, he didn’t just push Rei to the breaking point, he beaten her, he didn’t just let Fuyumi pick up the pieces, he neglected her same as Touya and Natsuo from when Rei was at home…) And why he doesn’t find a thing to apologize for Shouto but just tell him sorry?

Doylist answer: The overall idea is that Enji apologizing for hurting his family is all that matters. In case you don’t remember what he did to his family members, you get a hint. It’s impossible people forgot about what he did to Shouto so Horikoshi doesn’t bother to give readers a hint but takes advantage of how he doesn’t have to add anything else to say sorry in bolder letters. The chapter is meant to end after all and ending with a big sorry work well to deliver Enji’s regret. It’s a visual choice to deliver the message of how sorry Enji is. Of course this works a little less well in the anime that can’t write a big sorry not can have Enji scream it, though I’ve to praise Inada Tetsu for how he delivered the line.

Shouto faints.

Watsonian problem: Okay, Shouto ran and also fought and also used his power but making him faint with no one catching him and leaving him on the ground with no one worrying for him feels cruel. We don’t even know if he heard Enji’s apology! And what’s more Enji fought and used his power and is hurt way more than Shouto but he’s awake. The same goes for Fuyumi and Natsuo, who are unused to use their Quirk and are more hurt than him. Why knocking Shouto off and letting him sleep even when the sea of Twice arrives, which makes him look weak, especially since Enji who’s clearly more hurt than him, doesn’t pass out? And what about Enji protecting Touya from the Twices? The Twices wouldn’t have hurt Touya.

Doylist answer: Basically, same as what it happened before with Touya, who slept for a bit, now it’s Shouto’s time to miss a turn. Shouto is the less hurt, he can move around, if he did the story should have followed what he did. Instead the story preferred to wait until he and Enji needed to go fight AFO to wake him up, letting him sleep even when the sea of Twices appeared close to them so that Enji could have one panel of him protecting his family by covering them with his body. By the way now Enji protects Touya by the Twices because now he can shows he cares for his whole family and does what was meant in Japan too the duty of the family head, protect the family.

Shouto and Enji will fight again against All for One

Watsonian problem: Why sending Shouto and Enji to fight against AFO? Later it will turn out Enji was physically destroyed (not only he lost his arm but he’s covered in burn scars and won’t be able to walk) and it would have been better if he had remained with his family instead than prioritizing his Hero work. Shouto had fainted and hadn’t wake up till now. If we’ve to believe he was so tired, why not letting him rest and be carried to a hospital like Uraraka?

Doylist answer: Enji and Shouto have cooler fighting powers compared to Uraraka so Horikoshi couldn’t pass the chance to use them and, what’s more, they’ve to atone to society for the sin of being related to Dabi. Plus Horikoshi wanted Sero to give us a piece of wisdom about them. Hence they don’t get a break.

…days after the battle ended, the whole family will visit Touya at the hospital

Watsonian problem: Wait, days? Why they didn’t immediately check on him, especially since he’s dying? Okay, Enji might not have been up for it but the others definitely were and it’s not like it could be the problem was Touya as they just put him in a tube! He wasn’t in coma nor they were operating him or anything and he could talk just fine when the battle ended! And still even if he were unconscious why not to visit him?

Doylist answer: Because Horikoshi needed to wrap up all the Todoroki plotline in one chapter and he needed to do so by having ENJI speak to Touya. The family barely speak because they’re relegated to side characters BIG TIME. So they couldn’t go there without Enji and start things without him, or Enji’s speech would have less weight.

…where we’re told Touya is dying.

Watsonian problem: Touya is dying? Why his family isn’t reacting to the news? Why they’re all so calm? It feels like they don’t care! Besides why Touya has to die? Couldn’t Horikoshi just save him since he saved, often in unrealistic manners, plenty of other characters?

Doylist answer: The info was likely given for the readers’ benefit. The family was likely already told it but we weren’t yet so the guard/nurse tosses totally at random that piece of info in order to let us know in the fastest way possible. Yes, an info box would have worked better as it wouldn’t have felt such an unnatural monologue. Also, if the family had been grief stricken and busy crying, the conversation wouldn’t have worked well. Horikoshi decided to prioritize the words that are being said to the tears, because for a Japanese audience the fact that the family is there despite Touya being a criminal is already A BIG PROOF they love him. The point of the Villains dying is that it’s a tragedy. Society didn’t help them and so three kids, two of which originally wanted to be Heroes and one who just wanted to be normal, ended up becoming Villains and causing pain to other people and then they die because when someone decided to help them it was too late. What Touya (and Tenko and Himiko) suffered was real and unfair and the unfairness is made more vivid by how nothing could be done to save him. At the same time their death is also a direct effect of their actions because the story can’t say their actions were okay. Touya burned himself over and over, so his body got destroyed by his own Quirk, Tenko wanted to destroy everything that came from his house and he came from his house so he got decayed (it was implied Tenko was suicidal too), Himiko stabbed the person she loved so she gave her blood to save Uraraka. The Villains’ death in some cases also serve to inspire others, like how Himiko’s death inspired Uraraka to work on Quirk counseling and Tomura’s death inspired Spinner. Also, if they weren’t to die they would just end up jailed like Spinner and Compress, and eventually executed as they didn’t have a redemption moment, so the story couldn’t just spare them from punishment like they did with Aoyama, Lady Nagant and Gentle Criminal. This would have been depressing too but less tragic, so it would have worked less well.

…the fate of the kids is revealed…

Watsonian problem: Wait, if Touya can talk only for a short time each day and Enji is going to visit him all the days as Touya wanted and needed, the fact Natsuo won’t met Enji ever again means he won’t see his brother ever again! Didn’t Natsuo regret not listening to Touya? Didn’t he tell him to take it out on them? Wasn’t he so close to him? Does he not care anymore even though he was supposed to be a kind boy?

Doylist answer: The core of the problem here is that Horikoshi have to wrap everything in one chapter and that he didn’t want to include in it Touya’s death, and so he had to reveal Natsuo’s intentions as soon as he finished the part with the talk with Touya. It’s the same reason why we aren’t shown the reaction of the family to the news Touya is going to die. It’s ergonomic for the story. Of course he could have had Natsuo just say he’ll cut contacts with the family ONCE TOUYA DIES and not right then but that’s what we got.

Enji’s sidekicks as well as Hawks and Kurumada will keep on supporting Enji.

Watsonian problem: Enji and Rei’s son is slowly dying and they’re all happy they’ve support? Shouldn’t they be sadder?

Doylist answer: Horikoshi didn’t want to end the story on a sad note and he wanted to focus on the theme of supporting people. Hence Enji and Rei having someone supporting them magically make things well enough they can smile and instead than being shown suffering for their dying son. The same goes for Fuyumi, who has someone who supported her to get a new job, for Shouto who can count on class A support, for Natsuo, who can count on his girlfriend. Support making everything better is one of the core themes so… no sadness.

Much later Shouto is confirmed to have turned into the Hero he wanted to be.

Watsonian problem: Wait, what about Fuyumi? Natsuo? Is Touya still alive? Did what happen with Touya influenced Shouto in any way (not just in the hardship he experienced but in his way to be a Hero)? We only see Enji with Rei and supported by his sidekicks and Hawks but what about his kids? He’s supporting them?

Doylist answer: Fuyumi and Natsuo are minor characters. Horikoshi already told us Fuyumi is going to keep on working and Natsuo is getting married, likely he didn’t think we needed to know more. He also probably didn’t want to reveal Touya’s death because it’s depressing in a chapter that’s meant to be happy. In short Shouto’s three siblings don’t get mentioned. What Horikoshi needed to do was to close Shouto’s arc confirming, in case people missed it, he became the Hero he wanted to be despite everything, so he did and that’s why we’re shown Shouto being this kind of Hero. In the whole matter with Touya there wasn’t something that might have pushed Shouto to change (Shouto was never held accountable for what happened to Touya, differently from the rest of the family) or to start something like it did with Uraraka (Uraraka started a project about Quirk counseling), nor Shouto’s actions in dealing with Touya are criticized in any way, so he had to change something about himself. Since all this was never a plot point, all this isn’t touched. The fact he got rid of the fact he was called Endeavor’s son is instead an OLD plot point (it came up already in the sport festival), which was made worse by the whole matter with Touya, so it gets touched. Japanese readers know Shouto faced hardship due to what Touya did, Horikoshi didn’t feel like he needed to write it. The last thing Horikoshi needed to do was to show a major character like Enji receiving support as the importance of support was one of the themes of the story, so he does. Yes, Horikoshi could have shown Enji supporting/protecting Fuyumi, Natsuo and Shouto but this was likely harder to show visually so Horikoshi decided not to show it.

THE END

And so we have reached the end of the story and a similar exercise to the one I did for the Todoroki plot can be done for Tenko and Himiko as well. Spinner too to be honest but as his arc is pretty minor there’s less to talk there.

Now I can hear some of us saying that they could just give Watsonian explanations to the Watsonian problems. I could too, however those would be my headcanons. Canon doesn’t offer an explanation for too many things, nor makes it so intuitive everyone would get it, which is why people complain.

We aren’t talking of the “Divina Commedia” here, there are just too many blanks to fill in a story that’s meant also for entertainment.

The result is that while the idea of the story makes sense the presentation feels disjointed, with characters doing things BECAUSE THE PLOT WANTS THEM TO DO THEM.

It’s entirely possible that if Horikoshi were to be given more time, he would have streamlined more his narration, so that what happens would feel more natural, but it’s something we’ll never know.

The final war arc is just a giant sized arc with too much happening in it (it’s around 7 volumes compared to the previous war which was around 4), too many characters involved and too many plot points that need to be closed.

In a way stretching things more would have made it even longer and I’m not sure how well this would have worked.

Horikoshi did his best to carry on his arcs and his themes in the most ergonomic way, but the result ended up being that the story was forced to go forward without the story really having a chance to make the characters’ actions feel well streamlined, which causes people who focus solely on the Watsonian part of the story to feel rightfully disappointed, because a Doylist answer like ‘this is needed/important for this character’s arc to close’ means nothing to the Watsonian perspective.

Now Horikoshi is being given time and extra pages for the final volume and it’s possible he’ll use it to improve the epilogue, but it would have probably benefitted the story if he had time and extra pages for all the volumes starting from Vol 35.

This is however the manga industry, volumes and chapters needed to come out at a certain pace and he couldn’t help it.

I think his attempt to stick at his themes and arcs is praiseworthy, even if the result came out messy. Of course though, this is just my opinion and you’re free to think differently.

[kingdomofcomments]

Profile: EmpressOfTheSun

Penname: EmpressOfTheSun and EmpressOfTheSunWriter

FanFiction Profil(s):

Fandom In: Avatar: The Last Airbender, Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia, Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba, Naruto, Compilation of Final Fantasy VII, How to Train Your Dragon (Movies), South Park, Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Monsters (Anime);

Fandom Write: Avatar: The Last Airbender, Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia, Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba, Naruto, Compilation of Final Fantasy VII, How to Train Your Dragon (Movies), South Park, Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Monsters (Anime);

Stories: Yin and Yang an Avatar the Last airbender Story with AangXOC, Zutara and Sukki; Kill La Hero a My Hero Academia Story with Izuku MidoriyaXOC and Katsuki BakugoXOchaco Uraraka.

[empressofthesunslittlecorner]

Why comments are IMPORTANT!!!!!!

Hi guys, here I'm back again with a rant.

It's about my favourite subject!

Comments!

I know here on Tumblr it's hard to make comments, so thanks to everyone who reblogs or likes my stories, you keep me going.

I hope people who are also on fanfiction sites will see this.

Guys I don't know how clear I can make it to your readers.

YOU GUYS AND YOUR COMMENTS KEEP US GOING!!!!

FAV AND FOLLOW AND KUDOS ARE NICE BUT COMMENTS GIVE THE AUTHOR LIFE!!!!!!

EVEN IF YOU JUST SAY GOOD JOB WE GOT SUCH A SERATONIN BOOST THAT WE WRITE THE NEXT CHAPTERS OF YOUR FAV STORIES IN NO TIME!!!!!

WHY IS THIS SO HARD TO UNDERSTAND?

IT'S A WIN-WIN SITUATION FOR EVERYONE.

YOU CAN EVEN JUST SEND A THUMBS UP EMOTICON AND WE CELEBRATE HARD!

POSTING AN EMOTICON IS FAST.

YOU AVAOID THE AUTHOR GIVING UP.

DO YOU WANT THAT YOUR FAV AUTHOR GIVES UP ON YOUR FAV STORIES?

NEVER FINESHING THEM?

THEN KEEP GOING WITHOUT COMMENTING!

COME ON PEOPLE, COMMENT!

ITS! NOT! HARD!

Anyway, it needed to be said and I hope I can reach some of you.

Because really, I'm starting to get annoyed again about not getting the amount of comments in contrast to all the clicks I get.

Bye, for now!

[corntired]

Fanfiction is so goated actually

No monetary incentive, just writing in one's free time. Some incentive for like kudos and comments, because who doesn't want to hear that someone else enjoyed what they wrote. Just writing a story that is good and/or enjoyable, no real-life pressure to keep it going because god forbid you and other people are depending on it financially.

Writing a story because you want to write a good story, so you can write what they want the way you want, at a pace that is realistic for you, with exactly the plot pacing you want there to be.

[jerreeeeeee]

i don’t know if i’m ever gonna write the fic but i’ve been thinking abt like. the eternal stockade. the implications. lup, a lich who was trapped in a dark featureless cell for a decade completely isolated with nothing to keep her sanity but her own mind. she has to put people in the eternal stockade. how many liches does she see herself in. how many liches started out just like her. how many liches are truly too far gone. and the only liches we ever see other than her and barry are edward and lydia. they’re certainly evil, but mad? they seem pretty sane. they’re not, like, tattered echoes of souls, they’re definitely still people. even as much of a grudge as lup surely has against them, wouldn’t they remind her incredibly strongly of herself? do they deserve to be trapped just like she was? for eternity? isn’t eternity what turned john to existential despair in the first place?

[fictionadventurer]

I have a germ of a theory that good Christian fiction has stories that are less about shaving down your personality to meet some specific mold of what a good Christian looks like, and more about "how gloriously different are all the saints."

Not that the Christian life doesn't involve fighting against our own sinful nature and conforming ourselves to Christ-like behavior, but I think it makes for better, more realistic, and more universal stories when you also recognize that people have different gifts and flaws and they're going to be called to use their unique personalities to serve the kingdom of God in their own unique way, instead of assuming everyone has to conform themselves to a very specific (often secular-culturally based) image of good behavior. It makes for a much more vibrant story.

[aleksanderscult]

It is also a teeny bit weird to make Zoya being prettier and thus a more ideal sun summoner be set up as thing to be proven wrong in the beginning but then Zoya actually becomes the Queen with lots of focus on how gorgeous she is and Alina fades into obscurity and wears old shawls.

I mean yeah.

Because apparently one of the messages this trilogy wanted to pass was how nothing is what it seems. Alina is not weak but very powerful, she just doesn't know it. Aleksander is not a man to be trusted but a selfish, power-hungry bastard, except Alina doesn't realize it until it was too late (*inserting dramatic tones if you didn't notice*).

Normally, Zoya wouldn't get that much spotlight. But, alas, Bardugo has said many times that she's one of her most favorite characters so she was bound to become important. A Squaller (among hundreds) became important by becoming a Saint as well.

Saints in the Grishaverse normally have very distinct, unusual powers. Alina had her light, Aleksander his shadows, Elizaveta's Materialki powers manifested themselves through her ability to control nature while Ilya didn't allow his powers to be restricted at all (he was both a Healer and a Durast as well as an inventor). Plus, they get martyred and Zoya is...well....alive.

Her push to the spotlight was, for me, too forced while, at the same time, the author tried to remove Alina's presence (as if she wasn't the main character for three books straight that the antagonist fell in love with and his plans revolved around her). Whether someone likes Alina or not, we have to admit that it's not going to be the same without her on the front. The story doesn't really make sense without her. It's like removing Harry Potter from his own books.

And it seems that whether Alina has powers or not, she stays hidden. And Zoya got what she wanted all along: the spotlight.

[kyouka-supremacy]

Very assorted - and probably disorganized - thoughts on Akutagawa's immediate reaction on the night Dazai left the pm, since it's taken a pretty delineate shape in my mind for some time now.

I didn't use to have many strong opinions on how Akutagawa acted when Dazai left (although “unknown” uses as a concept of its own. Akutagawa disappearing, and no one knows where he was or what he did– until he comes back, but as a different man). That is up until recently, when I found this fic that described Chuuya storming to Akutagawa's place and all but threatening him to come to work the day after, and for all the days to come– and thus, urged him not kill himself. And I didn't think much about it initially, yet the scene slowly, unconsciously got ingrained in the bsd canon I have in my mind. And although one could fairly think Chuuya was spiraling in his own depressive episode that night, I feel like it's feasible to believe he'd still look out for Akutagawa. Not because Chuuya cared about Akutagawa in particular (at that point of the story, I genuinely think he didn't experience any strong feeling of any kind for Akutagawa, much less had a general good impression of him), but simply because that's what Chuuya does: he looks out for his own. He's perceptive enough to grasp that Akutagawa was but a kid at serious risk in that moment, and he's compassionate enough to go out of his way to help him, even though they barely knew each other, even though Chuuya himself was hurting like crazy that night (and perhaps even because that's simply what he does to cope with great distress and impending grief: keeps himself busy, tries to think of others before himself).

And there was, indeed, a very real chance Akutagawa was going to kill himself that night. Maybe he wouldn't, for Gin; but I'm not even sure. Dazai was the man who told Akutagawa he would have found a reason to live in the mafia, and now he's gone, the man who himself had seemingly become his reason to live; what's left for him in life anymore, what's the point of going on?– is probably what he must have wondered.

In my mind, the Akutagawas only have had two houses since they joined the pm. The first one was a small but comfortable, nice apartment that was assigned to them by the pm right after they joined, their first proper house. The second, a bigger, more comfortable penthouse, they had to move in after Ryuunosuke completely destroyed their first one on the night Dazai left– caught up in that kind of uncontrollable rage that only comes from inhuman pain. That night, Ryuunosuke got home blind and out of reason. He asked Gin to go away, and when she refused to, he pushed her out of the house with his ability, despite having always refrained from touching her with it, despite having always paid careful attention to never use his ability near or on her. And as soon as she was out of range he started destroying everything with and without his ability, until he could see nothing but red, everywhere. And once he destroyed everything, once the only thing left to destroy was himself, he cowered in a dark angle and howled, covered in blood, unable to speak, hideous and inhuman, nothing but a rabid dog. And his scream echoed the one he released the night he met Dazai for the first time; and if that day he had experienced his first emotion, now he was feeling a second new, deeply painful one. Maybe that's when Chuuya had come in, and told him he was not allowed to kill himself; maybe Gin had called Hirotsu, and Hirotsu had called Chuuya, and Chuuya stormed in, and ordered him to come to work tomorrow. Because Chuuya is smart; because he knows that orders are something familiar for Akutagawa, something that can help ground him; because he knows Dazai is not worth killing oneself over. And Akutagawa didn't kill himself that night, and he kept hurting for a long time, but eh. Eventually, he'll be okay.