#how the h*ll are you supposed to see love when all you ever know is the opposite.....working on letting love in at the moment

[kaddyssammlung]

Live Jaws with a changed outro in NYC 2019

I have not seen this, which is why I'm posting it. Needless to say that I am sobbing now.

[littlemissayu]

“Miss me Darling?”

Yandere!Ace Trappola x Fem!Reader

TW- yandere tendencies, unhealthy obsession, noncon(implied), kidnapping, k!ll!ng, pregnancy

Key - D/N - Your Daughter’s Name, H/C - Hair Color, S/C - Skin color, R/N - Random Name, M/N - Your Mom’s Name, F/N - Father’s Name

Side Note: I do not consent to this behavior; it is unhealthy, traumatizing, immoral, and mental. I only write for enjoyment. I would never wish this unto someone else.

Prompt – It was a sunny August Afternoon, when a certain Trappola came to reclaim his family…

Sun Shining through the window, the smell of freshly baked bread & cupcakes fill up your nostrils and beautiful white marble kitchen. Your 9 year old daughter, d/n, came into the kitchen as she had smelled the goods baking all the way from her bedroom. “Hey mom, whatcha baking?” she says sitting on a stool. “Some bread and cupcakes” you respond in a calm tone “Ooo how come you don’t usually bake?” your daughter questions. “Well you remember the Franklins right?” you questioned your daughter in response to her question; “of course I remember them mom, we have been hanging out with them ever since we moved, it's a shame Nana Rita is in the hospital” your daughter answered. “Yes well, when I went to visit Nana, you were in school, and she said she missed the homemade cupcakes I brought when she and her family had that welcoming party for us; so I offer to bring some to her and she was quite happy, so I asked the hospital and now I’m here explaining it to you”.You explained to your daughter. “You always make people happy, I admire that in you mom and ALMOST everything about you, especially with…..you know ... .dad…” your daughter admitted. You had told your daughter why you two were constantly moving when she turned 7 because you knew she wouldn’t listen if you didn’t.

9 years ago…..

 It was your second year at Night Raven College, you were 17 years old. You had a great life, a loving family, great friends, great school, stunning grades, and an amazing boyfriend. You had met your boyfriend, R/N, over the summer in a park that was only a 3 minute walk from your house.You ran into each other when you had been watching your little cousins. You left that park thinking he was really cute but you’d never see him again, but by fate you had met him again at a dinner at your house; turns out he was the son of your Dad, F/N’s, New Partner. It has been a love story ever since then. 

It was perfect, dates every Friday, hanging out at lunch and free periods during the school day, and since your family approved and loved your relationship your families would have dinner together every Sunday. It was a dream…. until it wasn’t. Ace was your childhood best friend, you two always hung out, people sometimes thought you were a couple and when the two of you would deny the suspicion you got  vibe that he wanted to be lying about that but you thought you were just reading into it too much, that your mind was messing with you. Once you started dating R/N though, everything changed.

You two rarely hung out, only talked once every 2 - 3 weeks on the phone, and you spent almost all of the school day either hanging out with your boyfriend or in class. It wasn’t like it was on purpose though you just got so caught up in everything around you, you weren’t able to clear your schedule for just him. You never payed much mind to the fact you didn't spend much time together and you thought he was doing just fine until one day you found out how he truly felt.

You were on your porch watching the clouds, waiting for your boyfriend to come pick you up since the two of you were going on a date, one you’ve been planning for weeks since it was your 1 year anniversary, you had a gift that you were so excited to give to him. ‘That’s weird he should have been here 10 minutes ago’ you thought to yourself. He was supposed to pick you up at 8 but now it’s 8:10, and if there was one thing you knew about your boyfriend is that he is never late no matter what. ‘Maybe he thought we were supposed to meet at 8:30 instead of 8:00’ you concluded hoping that would be the case. You decided to take a short walk around the corner, if you showed up while your gone he could call you or wait til you got back.

You quickly snap out of your thoughts when you heard two familiar voices, then a scream.

Your heart dropped to your stomach, you heard the voices of your boyfriend and best friend. You swore that it was them and then you heard your boyfriend scream, you dropped the bag and his present and ran towards the voices, screaming his name.

But you were too late, you had witnessed something you never thought you’d ever witness; the dead body of your boyfriend and your childhood best friend standing over his body covered in blood holding a machete. You stood there frozen in horror, you couldn’t scream, you couldn’t move, you didn't know what was going on inside your head. All that you knew was happening is that as you try to process the image of his dead body Ace begins approaching you. Right before Ace can get even an inch closer you ran, you ran faster than you ever had before, you were trying to get back to your house so you can get inside, lock the door and call the police. You couldn’t run to the police station because you didn’t remember the directions. Once you're at the porch you had been pretty sure you lost him, until you realized that you had dropped your bag earlier which had your keys inside the door locked because all your family had been out the house.

Black comes into your vision, he had knocked you out and thrown you over his shoulder.

Present Day…

You could remember everything clearly the night he kidnapped you to the day you made your escape, it was all crystal clear in your head. You remember the day you found out you were pregnant right after the day you got so close to giving up and accepting your fate. You realized you wouldn’t want that life for your child so you got out of there had your baby girl and raised her right. Here you are after moving over 10 times you had settled in your little apartment, you didn't think he'd find you. You just assumed that he had given up and searching for you and his obsession with you had just stopped.

The doorbell rang. “That must be Theodore, I’ll get it” You told your daughter, she nodded and went to sit on the couch. Theodore was Nana Rita’s oldest grandson, he was about 19. While in his first year of studying abroad he found out his grandmother was sick and immediately rushed home to help take care of her. While Nana Rita pestered him on going back and living his dream she finally let him help when he said he could go to college at any time but she could leave him any day so he didn't wanna waste a single moment with her. Theodore was probably one of the sweetest men you have ever met; not only did he help his Nana but he would also watch d/n while you were out.

“Hey Theo, I was ju-” You stopped, your eyes widened larger than a dinner plate. You let go of the knob standing there in awe, fear, dread, misery, anxiety and a million other feelings. Your mouth went dry, your vocal chords went stiff until you finally managed out “A-Ace” You asked in horror. “Hey Baby!! Did you miss me?” He says with that classic sadist smirk and the same earrings that were meant for your first love, the same ones you’re wearing now…

Main Masterlist

Twisted Wonderland Masterlist

[another-clive-blog]

au where clive runs for prime minister just to try one-upping b*ll h*wks

Anon, I want you to know this may be my favorite ask so far. The AU itself is amazing, but the censoring Bill Hawks' name ? Priceless. I feel like Socrates himself has come to enlighten me with incomparable wiseness-

Alright so sketches and writing under the cut ! =) No trigger warnings for this one. I had fun, I'd love to do more about this AU whenever I get the time !!

When you didn't think things through 😔 Which leads us to the fanfic-

"Professor, look !!"

Hershel Layton put down his cup of tea, anticipating the moment his apprentice would shove his newspaper in his face. With a patient smile, he took the paper in his hands and let Luke point out what piece of news had caused such excitement.

"'Clive Dove as the new prime minister' ?" Layton read out loud.

The article was front page and there was more about it in the following pages : it only made sense, with the agitation this news had caused. Bill Hawks had been prime minister before, and was the favorite candidate for this next mandate : him losing was quite surprising- quite surprising indeed.

"He doesn't look too happy," Luke said, tiptoeing to see over the professor's arm.

Layton looked at the picture in the middle of the page. On it, a shockingly young man was visibly upset, turned away from the journalists : he seemed to be yelling at someone on the side, cut off from the photo. "That is one way to put it." Layton hummed, his eyes staring at the young man a moment longer, before going to read the actual article.

"I'd be happy, I think, if I had just won the elections," Luke mused out loud. He couldn't even imagine it happening, actually : running for Prime Minister was so much work on its own !! Always giving speeches, moving around, discussing boring things- oh, and it must cost so much money too !! It must be so difficult just being a candidate.

Yeah, he'd probably be happy if he won after all that. This Dove guy was just weird.

"Say, Professor, don't you think he looks like me ? Maybe this is a sign I'll be Prime Minister some day !"

The professor didn't answer, focused solely on the paper in his hands.

-_-_-_-

"I am not doing it," Clive Dove said firmly. "I am not running this country. I quit."

John, his new personal assistant, a guy here just to listen to his every word and give him the attention Bill Hawks was desperate to get, protested loudly. "No offence Sir, but you have been prime minister for 47 minutes. The people want you as head of the country and you therefore deserve this post, especially after all the hard work and money you invested to get it."

"I don't care about the money or the people," Clive snapped. "I don't actually want this stupid job."

John was quiet for a moment, and Clive hated how unsurprised he looked. He didn't even seem disappointed or concerned, simply... irritated. It made sense for a government official : they only ever cared about things going smoothly, not making any disruptions, following the protocol.

Too bad, because Clive only cared about making their lives as difficult as they had made his.

"Well," John finally sighed, "you can always resign if you really wish to."

"Great." The faster he got out of this agonizing office, the better it would be. Clive took his coat in one hand, pushing the chair back with the other. He had no time to waste, because he was supposed to give his first speech as the new Prime Minister in about fifteen minutes.

He therefore only had fifteen minutes to leave this pathetic building and get as far away from this despicable life as possible.

Clive had his hand on the door handle when John spoke up again. "If you go through with your resignation, you'll need to sign the official declaration first."

Clive let out an exasperated sigh. Why were there declarations for everything ? Would he need a declaration to slam the door on his way out ?! "I'm leaving, what more is there to say ?!"

John was still facing the office, rearranging the files Clive had left behind : he seemed oddly calm for someone who'd have to announce both the nomination and resignation of the new prime minister. "Plenty, actually. But the more important part, the one we should focus on, is naming your successor."

Clive scoffed. "Why do I have a say in this ?"

"You don't," John simply answered. "But you'll have to confirm your official resignation, therefore leaving this post to the next best candidate. I believe Bill Hawks was the people's second choice."

Clive froze. That scum would actually get the job ? After everything he had done to keep him from it ?

Clive didn't want to rule the country- he had only run for the job to keep Bill Hawks from getting it. And he had succeeded ! But quitting now would give Hawks both the job and the pride to come out on top.

He couldn't do that. He didn't want to run the country, wasn't fit for it. He had no idea how to do it and he didn't want to learn. He hated this government, never cared about its people.

John was still rearranging the papers on the office, a peaceful smile on his face. He knew he had won, because winning was all that these miserable people cared about.

Well, Clive wouldn't let any of them win- not as long as he was head of this country. "Come on," he said, putting his coat on. "I have a speech to give."

[outtherecreations]

[FINALE] Less and Less | Ben Tennyson x Reader (x Kevin Levin):

A/N: Due to technical difficulties, this chapter got messed up and I had to rewrite everything…thanks for waiting. Still bitter about rewriting all this tho 😒

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

“I-I choose-”

I pause, peeking out the window. Both Ben and Kevin were fighting pretty hard…

“Gwen,” I sigh seriously “I’m gonna call you back.” “Ok…be safe, Y/N. Don’t do anything that could make things worse.” Gwen warns before hanging up. I place my phone into my pocket and brace myself to step outside.

Suddenly, the sounds of fighting come to a stop. I look out the window again, only to see Ben back in his human form, standing in front of Kevin with a disappointed look. Ben’s face was pretty bloody from what I could see, I gasp when he looks over to the garage. I quickly yank away from the window, when I peeked again-Ben and Kevin were walking towards the garage.

I cross my arms nervously as the door swings open. Ben looks at me with the same green eyes I’ve been looking at all my life…

They’re the same eyes, but they feel so different.

They don’t spark the childlike joy they used too.

Now they only bring a confused anxious feeling …

Kevin looks back and forth between me and Ben. “So,” Kevin says, breaking the silence “Y/N…as you probably know. I am in love with you-I’m NOT ashamed to admit it. I actually want you to be my girlfriend, and I’m willing to do whatever I need to do to keep you as my girl-” “You would stop trying to make it seem like I’m the monster in the room. You’re the one that’s nearly-and actually killed people for your own benefit.” Ben grumbles, glaring at the ground.

“And yet, I’ve been a kinder, gentler, and all around better boyfriend in my 7 months of experience than your 5 f*cking YEARS of experience!” Kevin snaps “Oh? Then where’s Gwen now? Every time I call her, she never asks about you. Admit it, you never actually loved her! You loved Y/N and used Gwen to get closer to her! You’re still as much as a creep as you were when we were kids, it’s maybe even gotten worse.” Ben says harshly, Kevin’s glare worsens “Stop acting like you know me, Tennyson! You don’t know nothing about me…about my relationship with Gwen-h*ll you don’t even know anything about your own relationship with Y/N.” He scoffs

Ben only glances at me for a second, becoming more and more defensive each time Kevin opened his mouth. Ben opens his mouth to say something, but Kevin beats him to it “I’m sorry this was sprung on you so randomly. But with HIS attitude it was bound to happen.” Kevin says jokingly, Ben rolls his eyes “Y/N, can I talk to you in private…please?” Ben asks.

I shrug “Sure.” I say, Ben takes my hand and walks out of the garage. He squeezes it lightly, I frown nervously. Ben stops in his tracks and looks at me seriously before letting out a sigh “It’s only been 2 and a half days Y/N. Are we really over? Just like that?” Ben asks “I…I don’t know.” I sigh “Do you have feelings for Kevin?” Ben asks.

I hesitate to answer that question.

Truth be told, I did my best to never think of Kevin that way. He was a creep when we were kids, then he grew out of it and actually became a sweet-occasionally gentle guy. Even then, I was with Ben and Kevin was pining over Gwen.

I was just happy being friends with him. I thought Kevin honestly grew out of his crush on me, and the kindness he’s been showing all this time was just how he was now. This is the first time I’ve ever even lingered on the possibility of having any romantic feelings for Kevin…

“I…”

And Kevin’s been so sweet…sweeter than Ben, my actual boyfriend

I sigh, rubbing my arm gently “I don’t know.” Ben only rolls his eyes “Do you want to break up? Just like that? Throw everything we have away-” “What do we have?” I ask seriously. “What, Ben? We don’t act like we’re dating. We act the same way we acted when we were kids-like best friends. I don’t…feel like your girlfriend sometimes, I just feel like a glorified best friend. You always blow me off when we’re supposed to go on date, you’ve made it clear when you find another girl attractive, you barely even kiss me now!” I sigh

Ben looks down at the ground “What haven’t you told me this?” He asks “You never give me a chance…you’re always voiding any serious conversations.” I sigh tiredly. “Then…then talk to me! Forget Kevin, you and me can go somewhere and work things out. Just…don’t give up on me…” Ben says.

The door to the garage swings open, Kevin looks between the both of us “We’re still talking.” Ben says bitterly “I got lonely.” Kevin says with a shrug. Ben grumbles, “So…I’ve been thinking,” Kevin hums “I’m tired as h*ll. Which means, I know Nutjob is tired.” Kevin turns to me and smiles softly.

“So go home and get some sleep. We can talk about this later. Don’t ya agree, Benji?” Kevin ask, flashing a fake grin towards Ben “Couldn’t agree more…” Ben says. I stand there awkwardly as they just glare at each other. Kevin glances at me and pats my shoulder lightly, “Meet back here at…let’s say 12?” He suggest. Ben and I awkwardly nod in agreement.

~Time Skip~



“-And now, I’m gonna have to meet Ben and Kevin in…30 minutes. I don’t know what to do!” I sigh “At least they’re willing to talk it out.” Gwen says gently “I just don’t want to hurt anyone.” I sigh quietly.

I glance out my window to see Kevin’s car already outside, “What about you?” Gwen asks “What about me?” I ask “Did it hurt when Ben went out with Julie instead of spending time with you?” Gwen asks seriously “Y-yeah…” I say “Did he apologized?” Gwen asks “Not really…he actually got mad at me because I spent time with Kevin instead of being alone.” I say.

Gwen sighs, “Of course he did. Y/N, you deserve to be happy. Figure out who makes you happy now, not who made you happy in the past…just be honest.” She tells me, I frown nervously as my stomach turns.

I look up at the clock…11:49. “Ok, I know what I chose now.” I sigh “Do what you need to.” Gwen says softly before hanging up. I take a deep breath and walk outside, Ben flinches. I look down at him “How long have you been sitting at my porch?” I ask “A while. Had to make sure Kevin didn’t try to bully you into loving him.” Ben laughs lightly.

A car door closes, Ben glares at Kevin as he walks up, “Nutjob, you know you had more time to think, right?” Kevin asks, placing his hands in his pockets. “Yeah…I know, I was kinda tired of thinking about it.” I say before Ben’s phone starts ringing.

Kevin and I turn to him, Ben looks at his phone “It’s…Julie.” He announces nervously. My eyebrows furrow while Kevin grins “Gonna answer it, Tennyson?” He asks “No I’m not gonna answer it.” Ben scoffs, hanging up the call. Almost instantly, it starts ringing again. And Ben hangs up again, and it rings again “Oh my gosh.” I groan, snatching the phone out Ben’s hand.

“N/N! Wait-”

“Hello?”

“Ben! Why aren’t you answering?! Come on, you can just say you don’t wanna hang out anymore and ghost me! We have something special, it’s your girlfriend’s own fault if she can’t handle the truth. Your relationship with her has been dead from day one! Don’t you get that, Ben? Ben?!”

“Ok, 1. F*ck you. And 2. I will be making your life a living h*ll at school, so…be ready b*tch.” I growl “W-” I quickly hang up the phone. Both boys stare at me with wide eyes “Ben, you told Julie you didn’t want to hang out with her anymore?” I ask seriously “Y-yeah, she was the cause all of the drama. And I just want things to go back the way they were, I love you…even if I haven’t done a great job showing it.” Ben sighs sadly “Touching,” Kevin huffs “Nutjob, I love you and I’ve always shown it. It different ways…but it’s always been shown.”

Ben and Kevin glare at each other, “So?” Ben hums “N/N, wanna date this creep?” Ben asks. Kevin’s glare darkens, he slowly turns to me. His glare fades into a nervous expression. Ben looks confident, but his eyes were glasses-like that confidence could be broken at any moment. I take a deep breath, looking between the two boys…

Chose Ben

Choose Kevin

[satansaidmyturnintheh3llscape]

Everything Right/Wrong with Ninjago “Rise of the Serpentine” E5: Can of Worms

I really wish we got to see more of Lloyd and the ninja prior to the Green Ninja reveal :(. Also, this contains a reference that only a small fraction of people will likely understand fully, but I couldn’t stop myself. DISCLAIMERS: Show owned by LEGO. This is not a professional review/critique - it’s primarily intended for comedy.

Comment/reblog and follow for more! Read below the cut!

- Theme ✅

- Lloyd can whistle, and regularly whistles his way around the Bounty. I don’t know why this is a win, but it is ✅

- At first this was gonna be a sin for having the audacity to name a video game something as stupid and obvious as, “citar legend,” but now it’s a win for my phone for repeatedly correcting it to “cig@r legend” every time I tried to type it out ✅

- Never forget that in a matter of what must’ve been hours, Lloyd managed to not only beat Kai at “his game,” but managed to top his own high score like 4 times ✅

- “…later bro” ✅

- Why does Jay do nothing and just let the sparring bot attack him? Couldn’t he just Spinjitzu his way out of this or something? ❌

- Also, what did Lloyd do to the sparring bot? Either he genuinely has knowledge of how to tinker with it and purposefully made it go haywire, or he just beat it a couple times with a wrench and hoped it would attack Jay anyway. Either option is worth a win ✅

- At first I thought he was waving, but based on his hand placements, I think Lloyd is saluting the ninja as he walks away from them?? ✅

- I don’t know who the ninja are yelling at right now, but they’re not even looking at each other ❌

- “How am I supposed to strike fear in this? It’s pink!” Zane finally learned about gender roles. Is this character development, or character regression? ❌

- I love that before Wu opens the door you can see Lloyd’s silhouette just standing there waiting… menacingly ✅

- “I got first dibs on-“ Cole threatens to beat an 8 year old for adding spice to his soup ❌

- “Why can’t you teach us to paralyze a man with one finger? Or find out if a man is lying by the twitch of his nose?” “Because not all lessons are about fighting!” Maybe not, but Jay’s ideas sound a h*ll of a lot more useful considering what they do everyday ❌

- “And I misplaced my lesson book.” Wu loses his lesson book and then suddenly forgets everything he’s ever known about this ancient craft he’s been practicing for literal centuries ❌

- How sound-proofed are those doors that they completely block out Lloyd’s voice when Cole closes them?? ❌

- “… live with us, but my sister??” Kai wants his baby sister to live alone in a blacksmith shop just because she isn’t a ninja ❌

- “But those tombs could be anywhere!” Shame we don’t have someone here who literally helped to imprison the serpentine in the first place, isn’t it? ❌

- The tombs are BARELY in line with that symbol. If the writers wanted to make this make sense, they easily could’ve just gone with a less complicated symbol. I really don’t know what the point of this was ❌

- “Light as a feather, pinky” ✅

- Btw, Glacier fans, how many times have you rewatched this scene?

- I was gonna add a sin for the Mailman because why was he delivering mail to the Constrictai tomb, but at this point I’m just gonna say he’s omnipotent or something and move on.

- “You shouldn’t sneak up on people like that” It didn’t? The frog was standing there the whole time, Fire Cracker ❌

- “No, I’m the real jay!” Call me crazy, but this was actually really good set up for Kai’s venomari-induced vision to be a million Jays attacking him and him struggling to figure out which one was the real one. But sure, elves and gingerbread people work too, I guess

- “I’ve never fought little people before!” You’ve fought Lloyd, isn’t that close enough?

- Cool save but what was Nya’s dart supposed to do? If it was a tranquilizer it wasn’t very effective ❌

- Detail of Samurai X wearing Nya’s bracelet ✅

- But also, how do none of the ninja notice that they’re wearing Nya’s bracelet?? ❌

- We have dr*nk Adora, sick Luz, Marky Wu, AND thawed-out Sprig, but stoned Kai will always be the OG ✅

- Jay spills his drink all over the table and makes no effort to clean it up ❌

- “It’s a can of worms I don’t wanna see open.” Line exists solely for the purpose of claiming that the title of the episode makes sense… which it doesn’t, but the writers were short on time and literally couldn’t think of anything else so it’s what we’re stuck with ❌

- “Don’t worry, it’ll ware off soon.” The little wink Jay does at the end>>>>>✅

- Also, plasma shippers, how many times have you rewatched this scene?

- Kai screaming in this clip will never not be hilarious ✅

- Why does Pythor have such a hard time uniting the tribes in these next few episodes? I know they were supposedly at war, but it couldn’t have been that bad of one if there were casual friendships between them like Skales and the Fangpyre ❌

- “Friends, enemies, and enemies who pretend to be friends” Pythor definitely has a better public speaking grade than I do ✅

- “That’s a lot of snakes…” Actually, that’s a frighteningly low amount of snakes considering these tribes are supposed to make up an entire race of people ❌

- So do the serpentine bond over r@cist jokes or…?

- ^ “What’s going on? Why am I losing them?!” I don’t know, Pythor, but maybe you should ask the brightly colored ninja hanging from ropes in midair where everyone can and should see them what they think. They look like they could shed some light on the situation ❌

- The serpentine were somehow harder to defeat and escape from when we were just dealing with one tribe at a time ❌

- Jay dangling off the bike ✅

- In Tournament of Elements, you can actually see that Chen has Zane’s pink suit, which implies that Lloyd sold it or something and just found a new one here ✅

- How did Lloyd manage to rig the fridge to do this???? Whether you want to admit it or not, kid Lloyd had a braincell that everyone likes to ignore ✅

- The episode moral was supposed to be that rumors are destructive, but it actually features the heroes weaponizing them against their enemies. So, always use destructive means to achieve your goals because they’ll justify each other eventually, kids! ✅

Sentence: Lloyd’s hidden braincell

[dialovers-translations]

DIABOLIK LOVERS Do-S Kyuuketsu VERSUS Ⅳ Vol.5 Kanato VS Kou [Track 4]

Original title: マリアージュ

Source: DIABOLIK LOVERS Do-S Kyuuketsu VERSUS Ⅳ Vol.5 Kanato VS Kou [CD not owned by me]

Audio: Here

Seiyuu: Kaji Yuki & Kimura Ryouhei

Track 1 ll Track 2 ll Track 3 ll Track 4 ll Track 5

Track 4: Match Made in Heaven (1)

*Cling cling*

Kanato: ...What are the two of you doing…!?

Kanato rushes over.

Kou: Ah-aah~ He saw.

Kanato: How dare you abuse the cake blocking my view…! You really are a despicable man! Do you really think I will let you get away with touching what is mine without my permission!? 

Kou: I mean, the thirst was killing me. It’s hot and there aren’t any other liquids around so what else was I supposed to do?

Kanato: THEN YOU SHOULD HAVE JUST PERISHED!!

Kou: How mean...If I died, you’d be left with an unpleasant feeling inside, no? (2) M-neko-chan might just cry until she has no tears left.

Kanato: Hah! Not at all! I wouldn’t care one bit if you died.

Kou: I mean, I’m sure that’d be the case for you…

Kanato: For one, why did you just allow him to suck your blood like it’s nothing!? I can’t believe you still don’t know who you actually belong to!

Kou: Calm down, Kanato-kun. Have some sweets and lift those spirits.

Kanato: How could I stay calm under these circumstances!?

Kou: Don’t shout at me! I honestly don’t understand how you can have so much energy left despite the heat…

Kanato: Uu...I mean...I’m just as thirsty...Hic...So it’s not fair...How you get to hog her blood all for yourself...How dare you steal her from right under my nose…!

Kou: Eh? D-Don’t cry! ...You sucked plenty of her blood in front of me earlier, remember?

Kanato: Uu...No, that wasn’t enough at all. Exactly. There is no way that much could ever satisfy me.

*Cling*

Kanato: If you still had blood to spare to give to Kou, I suppose you won’t mind if I take some more as well, right?

Kou: ...H-Hold up! If you take any more of her blood, she’ll end up all worn out!

Kanato: I won’t fall for that bluff. Why don’t you just stand there and watch in envy as I suck her blood?

Kou: …

Kanato attempts to bite you, but you press your hand against his mouth to stop him.

Kanato: Hahn...Mm…!? What are you doing…!? Are you rejecting me!? 

Kou: Kanato-kun...From my point of view, she’s probably embarrassed…

Kanato: Shut up! Why are you answering in her place!? Even though I know her much better than you do! ...Hey, isn’t that right? You love it when someone sucks your blood while others are watching, right? It makes you feel even better, doesn’t it?

You shake your head.

Kanato: ...We will find out the truth soon enough. Hold your hand out in front of me right now. If you dare pull it back even a little, you’re getting punished. 

Kanato bites you.

*Sluuuurp*

Kou: …

Kanato: Hah...Nn...Does it hurt? However, the pleasure will kick in soon enough…

*Sluuuurp*

Kanato: ...Haah~ See? You’ve started feeling good, haven’t you? Fufu~

Kou: ...I’ve reached my limit. I can’t hold back any longer.

Kou climbs on top of the table with you two.

*Cling*

Kanato: ...Huh!? 

Kou bites you as well. 

Kou: Mm...Nn…

*Sluuuurp*

Kanato: Kuh...How dare you…!!

Kou: Fufu...~ I mean, I would apologize but...Hehe~

Kanato: What are you laughing for!? 

Kou: M-neko-chan is making such a lovely expression...I guess it feels better when I suck her than when you do.

Kanato: Haah!? There’s just no way! There must be something wrong with your eyes!  I better gouge them out right here, right now!

Kou: Don’t say that just because you don’t want to acknowledge your own loss. ...Come on, watch closely. Mmh…

*Sluuuurp*

Kou: Nn...Nnh...Hehe~ See? She looks like she has ascended to heaven, don’t you think?

Kanato: Hah! You’re trying to satisfy her like that? This girl is incredibly greedy. She can’t be satisfied by anything but my fangs!

Kanato bites you once more.

Kanato: Mmh…

*Sluuuurp*

Kanato: Fufufu...Just like I thought~ 

*Gulp*

Kanato: I can tell your whole body is rejoicing…

*Sluuurp*

Kanato: ...from having me suck your blood…

*Sluuurp*

Kanato: Your blood keeps on growing richer...and sweeter…

*Sluuurp*

Kou: He’s wrong, isn’t he? My fangs should feel much better. Isn’t that right?

Kanato: Fufu...She said mine feel better.

Kou: She didn’t.

Kanato: Even if she didn’t voice it out loud, her blood conveys the message.

*Rustle*

Kou: ...Hahn…

*Sluuurp*

Kou: ...It’s saying mine feel better though?

Kanato: You sure are stubborn. In that case, why don’t we get a direct answer from her? ーー Say...~? Who do you prefer? Me, of course, right?

Kou: It’s me, isn’t it?

You hesitate. 

Kanato: Ah...You can’t decide because your mind is too preoccupied worrying about the keys? Then let’s do this…

*Cling*

Kou: What are you going to do with that?

Kanato: I’ll eat this pudding at the same time. The combination of her blood with the custard cream was sublime, so I’m sure it’ll go great with this as well. 

*Cling*

Kanato: By doing so, I get to make a dent in the dessert buffet and quench my thirst at the same time, so it’s a perfect plan, no? 

Kanato starts eating the pudding. 

*Gulp*

Kanato: Fufufu~ ...Just like I thought! It matches well with pudding as well. It’s overwhelmingly sweet and rich...It makes me crave more…

*Sluuurp*

Kou: Nice idea....I’ll do that as well!

*Cling*

Kanato: Could you not copy me, please? 

Kou: It’ll help us make progress on looking for the keys so what’s the problem? ...Keep still, M-neko-chan. I’ll use your blood to fill this crepe. 

*Rustle*

Kou: Fufu~ When you’re being decorated like this, it’s almost like you’ve become one of the desserts as well. You already have the sweetness in common! Hahn…

*Sluuurp*

Kou: Mm...Nn…

*Sluuurp*

Kou: Hah...I could grow addicted to this...It really does taste rich…

*Sluuurp*

Kanato: I’ll try the combination with whipped cream next as well. ...Oh, I also have to test out all the different types of jam over there!

Kou: Hahaha~ You’re jumping ahead! Shouldn’t you enjoy what you’re eating right now first? ...There we go~ 

*Rustle rustle*

Kou: Mmh…

*Sluuurp*

Kanato: No need to tell me…

*Sluuurp*

Kou: Hahn...Mmh…

*Sluuurp*

Kou: …? Huh…? I thought I was no longer dizzy though…?

You ask Kou if he’s okay.

Kou: Yeah...Doesn’t it seem like the walls are melting to you? Over there, for example, it’s slanted quite a bit…

You agree.

Kou: Eh? No way! The ceiling as well…!

Kanato: Haah…? And why would the walls and ceiling be melting exactly? 

Kou: Ah…!! They’re both made out of candy as well! This is bad...They’ve started to melt from the heat!

Kanato: In which case, we can get out of here once they’ve fully melted away.

Kou: No way! Molten candy is scorching hot! We’d get serious burns as a result!! If the entire walls and ceiling melt away, we’ll be in a world of trouble!

ー You panic.

Kou: He got us...That Kino guy set us up!

ーー TO BE CONTINUED ーー

Translation notes

(1) The term マリアージュ or ‘marriage’ is used in Japanese to refer to the combination of two food items/ingredients in a dish.

(2) Literally he says ‘it would leave a nasty aftertaste, no?’

[cades-outsider]

Eli/Hawk X Reader

Warnings: This may get you in your feels for a sec! Very slight smut warning!

Fighting Gravity

You would be lying if you said it wasn't tough, it was the hardest thing you have done. It's not easy breaking up with someone but you felt as if you had no other choice.

You were with Eli before he turned into Hawk, before he started becoming someone who he despised the most, he became his worst enemy; a bully.

Just as if the day could get any worse you had to be at school, well it was lunch time so it wasn't so bad. I mean you were already halfway through school just two more classes, that you also share with Demetri.

"Listen to me Y/n" Demetri says catching your attention.

You playfully roll your eyes as you know that he's going to tell you a cheesy Star Wars joke, that will most likely be funny to only you and Demetri and we'll Eli if he were a 'nerd' again as he calls it.

"Which Star Wars character works at a restaurant?" He questions, already laughing at the joke he was thinking of.

"I don't know who?" You ask sarcastically.

"Darth Waiter" Demetri says, now fully laughing at his own joke.

He laughs at his own joke caused to you to laugh, plus it was a cheesy move. The laughing dies down as you and Demetri stop, in the middle of the hallway. Eyes subconsciously connecting with each other's, you both feel yourselves being pulled towards one another.

"What the h*ll do you think you're doing nerd?!" You hear someone yell causing both you and Demetri to pull away, have being caught.

"I-uh well-" Demetri stutters before you speak up, Demetri sighs in relief.

"Why do you care? We aren't together anymore" You exclaim, as Hawk walks closer to you both.

"Yeah I wonder why, it's not like I wanted you anyways" He smirks.

You knew what was happening, you knew that he was just putting on a facade to the students that don't give a crap about him.

"Oh yeah? And how's that working out for you" You smirk.

"Quite well actually, I don't have to see your ugly reflection everyday" Hawk snarls.

"Yeah well neither do I" You scoff, almost saying something bad but you bite back your lip. Knowing that's Eli's insecure spot, that you shouldn't bring up.

  You bite back the urge to say something you'd regret in the long run "whatever I'm not even in the mood" you roll your eyes and walk away.

"Come on Demetri" You demand as he follows behind.

  "Uh- what was that?" He asks referring to the almost kiss.

  "I- I don't know" You admit honestly.

  He decides to not ask any more questions even though it kept running around his mind. After lunch, the day went by pretty fast you were driving on the way home when you got a call. It was Demetri.

Both Demetri and Moon decided to get your mind off of things, so she threw you a as she called it a 'get over hawk' party. Which was what Demetri called to tell you about of course.

"Come on Y/n! This will help you in-lighten your inner spiritual self!" Moon says jumping up and down, clapping excitedly.

"Fine fine fine...." you mumble, knowing you couldn't say no to Moon.

"Yay!" She exclaims happily.

"Come on I have the perfect dress for you!" She says pulling you into her closet full of dresses and unique outfits.

"Here! Take this!" Moon pushes the dress into your chest, excited.

  You don't even get time to check out the dress before Moon rushes you into her second closet, "rude..." you mumble playfully.

  You slip on the dress, with no problems at all. It fit ever curve just perfectly. "Wow.." you gape as you spin around looking at yourself in the mirror.

  The dress included a slit in the middle from your thigh and it was a sparkling blue shade, with spaghetti straps.

  Not even a second later Moon barges into the closet causing you to jump, she squeals cheerfully "o-m-g you look so sexy!" She says smirking, proud of herself.

"Wait, why am I wearing a dress when I'm just going to swim anyways?" You question.

"Oh you silly Y/n! We're showing Hawk what he's missing!" Moon says smiling as she grabs some of her green juice that she made.

"Okay.." You nod your head, trailing off.

"Plus I bought me a matching colored dress!" She says holding up the dress.

You gasp "it's beautiful Moon! You'll look gorgeous! As always" You gush.

Moon smiles slightly at the compliment "well what are you waiting for! Let me do your hair" She says ushering you in the chair.

After a couple hours Moon had finished your makeup and hair turning you around to see your beautiful reflection in the mirror.

"Wow.." you gape at the magic Moon had put into.

  "I know right!" Moon agrees.

  "Oo- I'm going to slip on my dress!" She exclaims happily as she rushes into her bathroom.

  An hour went by and people were finally here, kids eating pizza in the corner, some drinking beer, and some already throwing up in the lawn.... 'pfttt lightweights' you giggle to yourself.

  In the middle of your direction you seen Hawk and a group of his friends sitting around him, a red solo cup in his hands as his fierce eyes scan over the partying people. Only to be met with your beautiful shinning eyes.

  His demeanor changes almost immediately, he was tired of putting up this act yeah. But he did not want to go back to the kid with the weird lip, so throwing this act away was a no at least for now.

  His eyes sparkle with admiration as he scans your beautiful features, and your sparkling blue dress. He couldn't help but let his eyes wander to the slit in your dress which revealed your right thigh.

  Just then Demetri walks over to you with a wave "hey Y/n, would you like to I don't know per say go for a swim?" He asks, beating around the bush.

  Sparing a side glance at Hawk you notice his jaw clench as he squeezes his red solo cup causing whatever liquor that was held inside to drip down his hands and onto the floor.

  Deciding what harm could do you nod "I'd love too" you reply as he leads you both to the pool outside, few people in the pool which confused you considering it seems like people always head for the pool first at party's.

  Unzipping the side of your dress you reveal your white bikini that Moon had bought for you three days prior as a best friend-adversary gift along with a matching gold necklace.

  You of course returned the gesture as this was your best friend were talking about, you fold the dress and put it under your towel so it wouldn't get wet.

  Demetri had already started getting in the pool, sitting down as you got in slowly enjoying the cold water against your warm skin.

  "You know Y/n, you look not the term I would use... but you look mighty fine" Demetri compliments causing you to giggle but roll your eyes playfully.

  That is until you hear a cup hit the concrete ground next to you, "you just can't stay away from what's mine can you Demetri" Hawk interrupts.

  You look up at him in shock, obviously it was just a compliment so why is he getting all worked up. I mean when people compliment Hawk you certainly try to start anything with them.

  "Hawk, cool it" You say softly, not wanting to come off as rude.

  "Oh so I'm supposed to 'cool it' while I watch Demetri flirt with you? H*ll no." He states bluntly as he starts walking closer to Demetri.

  Deciding you didn't want to see one of your friends get beat today, you pull yourself out of the pool. Gently you grab hawk by his forearm, grab your towel and push him into the pool shed full of floats.

  Roughly you slam his back against the wall causing a couple floats to fall off the wall "we need to talk" You state.

  Hawk's breathing picks up at how close you both are, "no talking" he says sliding his hands onto your cheek, rubbing his thumb in circles against your skin.

  "Just kissing..." He mumbles before placing his lips upon yours, pulling your body closer into his causing him to get wet since you just got out of the pool.

  You pull away leaving Eli with a hurt look as you push onto his chest pressing him against the wall firmer "we talk and sort things out then I give you what you want." You state firmly.

  Slowly Hawk nods, giving you puppy eyes "Look Eli, I love you I really do. But I don't like watching you become someone who you used to hate, I don't want you to inflict pain mentally... and physically like others did to you" You exclaim softly, rubbing his cheek soothingly.

  His jaw clenches before he soon relaxes "i understand Y/n, and I'm sorry I just didn't want to be the weird kid with the lip anymore..." He mumbles, slowly tearing up.

  "Eli... baby, you were never the kid with the weird lip. I love you for you, not strength, muscles, or popularity but you. I loved your corny jokes-" You rest your arms around his neck "-I loved your shyness, I loved your battle scar baby... it's what makes you my Eli" You finish as a small tear falls down Eli's eye.

  "Don't get me wrong, I love your confidence now and I love your hair but I didn't want you to get to wrapped up in it" You mumble softly.

  "I'm sorry Y/n, I really am" Eli mumbles, digging his head into your shoulder and wrapping his arms around your waist.

  "Don't be Eli, baby I understand what happened and I know why it happened but just know I always loved and always will love the real you" You say smiling as you lift his head up with your thumb.

  You run your finger over the scar on his lip before placing a gentle, loving kiss upon the scar "this is beautiful Eli, don't be afraid to love who you are" You praise as Eli feels his heart warm up with love.

  Eli reaches down and picks you up by your thighs before placing you on the little couch that laid in the room, he places his smooth lips on top of yours letting you feel his vulnerable state.

  He tugs in the middle of your bikini asking for permission if he cold take it off but before you could respond someone busts into the shed causing you both to jump.

  It was some horny couple making out and slamming each other against the walls removing clothing not even paying attention or noticing you two.

  "Seriously?! Get out!" Eli yells, startling the couple causing them to rush out half naked.

  You giggle as you rest on your elbows, sitting yourself up a little as Eli sits on his knees halfway straddling your thighs.

  "You think this is funny huh?" He teases has he bends down leaving kisses on your neck.

  "Yeah, I love the rush of being caught" You exclaim, catching Eli off guard.

  "Oh really? We'll see about that"

_______________________________________________

Thank you @peachymelon69 for requesting! I hope you enjoyed!

[lottiebagleywritesobx]

Love Language

At the time they'd made it the language had felt like no one would ever be able to understand it.

They were only 9 and JJ had been granted permission to stay at her house, her parents used to be around a lot, although they weren't anymore, and they'd always welcomed her blonde best friend leading to his near constant presence at their home.

It was late for two kids, maybe 10 pm, and they'd been wrapped in blankets in her box sized room that felt so much bigger when they were young.

They always got each other in a way no one else understood for reasons way more complex than a secret language they would use to write each other messages, but at 9, all they needed to know was that the language was another thing that tied them together.

It was simple: to spell a word you combine the first letters of the other words.

So to write Hello  you would write Hungry Elephants Love Lollipops Okay

It had stuck a lot at first, they used it everyday and it drove Pope and John B insane, but as they got older it died out.

It was used a few times at 12 when they had an annoying teacher who made students read notes out if they were caught passing them, to everyone else it sounded like gibberish.

It was used once at 15, the world help spelled out when an older Kook boy wouldn't leave her alone and she knew he was reading her phone screen over her shoulder, not wanting to trigger him.

Now, at 17, she had laughed out loud when she'd unfolded the note tucked into her locker.

In JJ's scrawl that only she could read with ease.

 Ukraine

Rollercoaster

Penguin Ranch Eyelash Tractor Tangerine Yoghurt

You are pretty. She blushed a little, looking around for any sign of the familiar blonde boy but he was nowhere to be seen, she tucked the note into her bag, hating the way he made her heart race, before shoving the books she didn't need over the weekend into her locker and walking down the corridor and out of the front doors.

When she arrived at the twinkie her friends were already there "Took your time," John B smirks from his open window, occupying the front seat

"She was probably busy flirting with Mack," Sarah teases from the passenger side

"For the last time Sarah, he just needed tutoring in bio,"

"You are shit at bio," Sarah smirks even wider

"Better than you sweetheart," The girl grins, climbing into the back and diving out of Sarah's reach as she moves to try and flick her. Both girls laughing loudly

"I'll get the door then," Pope chides

"Thanks P, i can't get too close  or Sarah will attack me," She grins, Pope rolls his eyes but sends her a grin as he leans forwards to pull the door to the twinkie closed.

She moves through the seats to her usual space, she always sat next to JJ, no matter what. They could be drinking at the chateau, relaxing at the beach, adventuring on the boat. No matter what they were next to each other. It wasn't uncommon when one of them was feeling tired, or clingy, or touch starved for her to end up in his lap, his arms wrapped around her stomach and his chin on her shoulder.

She leans up pressing a quick kiss to his cheek, it wasn't uncommon in their friendship, often used as a greeting, a thanks or even just out of the blue, and so the other's don't think anything of it even though JJ feels himself melting into a puddle. What is a little different though is the way she grabs his hand giving it a tight squeeze before pulling her own away and settling down in her seat as John B starts up the van. He knows what it is. It's a silent thanks for the note, not wanting to say anything in front of their friends but it was a sign she got it and she was grateful for it.

He wraps his arm around her shoulder, his touch gentle but Pope gives him a knowing look, the touch is supposed to claim her. She either doesn't notice or  doesn't seem to mind though, instead leaning into his now open side as she chats happily with Kie.

**

It's monday morning and JJ is in first period history. He fucking hates history, yet, it had become his favourite subject simply because it was the only one all 6 pogues shared. He opens his school bag with sigh, placing the textbook on his desk and starting to fish around the bottom of the bag for a loose pen.

Pope turns around from the seat in front of him, placing a pen on his desk with a knowing smile. JJ drops his bag to the floor, opening the text book only for a note to fall out.

Her neat writing fills the page and the smile on his face is immediate.

Umbrella

Rocket

Happy Ant Neck Drop Surf Olive Mars Egg

JJ tries to ignore the feeling of a red hot blush creeping up his neck as he turns to look at the next desk along, she's already looking at him with a smirk shooting him a week before turning to face the front, god if JJ can't feel himself falling.

**

It continues for weeks.

Tucked into the wind screen wiper of her old shitty truck.

Taped to the sandwiches she would bring him to lunch.

On her pillow when she went to bed one night.

Stuffed into the pocket of the hoodie she borrowed.

Her school bag.

The bathroom mirror at the chateau.

They both started to home a large collection of notes. Her's placed neatly in a drawer in her bedroom. His tucked in a box under the floor board that lifts up in the room he claims as his at the chateau.

**

"What you writing?" John B questions as he steps onto the porch

"Just a note for y/n,"

"You guys have been passing a lot of secret notes recently," John B comments, JJ shrugs placing the pen down "It's sweet,"

"What d'ya mean by that?" JJ questions, John raises his eyebrows giving JJ a knowing look before having a realisation.

"You still haven't told her you're head over heels in love with her?"

"No," JJ admits, he was way past his days of fighting back when his friends accused him of being in love with her. "I don't know how to. You know me, I never say things right and I just- I really don't want to fuck this up. Only got one shot at it,"

"So write it," John B shrugs like it's obvious

"I can't,"

"You can,"

"What if she doesn't feel the same?"

"JJ, you're the most annoying person I know and she puts up with you all the time and has done since you were 2 . She feels the same,"

**

She's only wearing a bikini and a tshirt that belongs to JJ when she exits her house on Saturday morning. Her plans to meet at the Chateau go surfing with Kie already made, she grabs her board and at first she doesn't even notice it, attached to the cool box full of water and fruit she'd loaded up the night before is a note.

Ice

Art Magic

Igloo Note

London Orange Venus Elephant

Wine Ill Tiger Hungry

Yam One Under

It takes less than a minute for her to decipher the note, abandoning her surf board and the cooler in favour of sprinting to the Cheateau.

JJ is seemingly waiting for her when she arrives, he's pacing in front of the house, going still the second he sees her.

"Are you kidding?" She questions, he's stares, eyes wide not quite able to process why she looks so hopeful. "Because JJ, if this is some fucked up joke I will literally never speak to you again,"

"It's not a joke," He assures

"It's not?" She questions, it's het turn to still, having expected to arrive for him to laugh and ruffle her hair like he was her brother.

"No. I'm in love with you. I've been in love with you since we were 12 and you stole my cap and started wearing it everyday,"

"We were 14 and you snuck into my room because my parents were fighting and you read harry potter to me cause you knew my parents used to," She states

He nods, now it was all out there in the open neither of them quite knew what to do.

"For fucks sake kiss already!" Pope shouts, they turn seeing all the pogues watching them from the porch.

JJ looks at her, an unspoken question in his eyes. "Just promise me if this all goes tits up we will be friends, cause I can't loose you maybank,"

He holds his pinky out, smiling as she loops her with his and squeezes slightly. He pulls her into his chest with their pinkies. Lips crashing onto hers, spare holding her closer to him by the small of her back. Her empty hand moving to play with the blonde curls she's wanted to run her fingers through a thousand times. Their pinkies stay linked by their side, his thumb stroking at her hands lightly.

Yeah, she'd be keeping the note he left in there little love language.

[willowbleedsonpaper]

Winter In The Shade IX

Part IX

Sirius Black x Ravenclaw Reader

W.C. : 2251

Requested by @amourtentiaa : It is Sirius’ fifth year at Hogwarts, the same year he ran away from home and to the Potter’s. Soon, he discovers the unfamiliar sight of his brother Regulus smiling and looking truly happy, next to him a Ravenclaw girl who immediately captures his interest. What will happen when the Black family gets involved in their sons lives and the ones they hold close to their hearts?

Warnings: Food. A little violence (Someone gets slapped in the head) :)

Want to know when I post the next part? Add yourself to my taglist!

Masterlist | Series Masterlist

The marauders didn’t stay at the Great Hall for long, running out of the large room as soon as the shouting coming from Professor Mcgonagall was heard from the front of the room; grins were drawn on all four faces as soon as her stern voice broke over the magic of their little Christmas show, leaving them frozen with excitement at the thought of another run to avoid the anger of Minerva Mcgonagall.

They all stared down at the source of her voice before breaking out of the first shock, the four marauders slipping on the same snow they had conjured to catch themselves a second later and making a run for the door. Their laughs echoed the stone walls of the Castle, their rapid footsteps leaving nothing behind but pure excitement as everyone witnessed Professor Mcgonagall marching after them with the most stern calm anyone had ever seen.

Although, you were sure your eyes didn’t come up with the small smile tugging at her lips.

“They’re amazing.” Félix murmured in amazement, his eyes gleaming as he looked at you.

You chuckled lightly, ruffling his hair as you let the smile on your lips completely settle on your face. “They are something else, I´ll give you that.” Your eyes wandered at the door, Sirius’ form disappearing from your sight just seconds ago as his words still played inside your head. The exchange had been so short and yet it felt like it dragged for hours, you were sure your own head was already adding to the memory to make it look like something that never happened, changing the entire interaction to something you might read in one of your favorite novels.

By the second time you replayed the memory in your head, it had already become something completely different from what reality had served you. Or has it?

You wanted to think, believe, that whatever Sirius was becoming in your life, that whatever role he was playing in your story, it was just something random. But deep down you knew it felt different. He wasn’t just another person you would meet in your time at Hogwarts, he felt more important. You alone were giving him more importance just by thinking of him, by wondering. Because you knew that no one asks questions to then say they don’t care.

*******

Sirius almost slipped three times on their way to safety from Professor Mcgonagall. One while trying to run over the melting snow in the Great Hall, the second one as he ran straight into Moony’s back as he was being too careful not to step on the plates and goblets of the Great Hall, and the third one as he stole one last glance in your direction.

You weren’t supposed to be there.

Not that he complained. You were the Christmas present that he never expected, sitting there with that little boy that always seemed to be at your side.

He hoped no one noticed the way his act dropped as soon he set his gaze on you, the way he felt his grin morph into a soft smile, the way his shoulders fell from their confident stand, the way his steps slowed until he was standing in front of you, how his voice came in a light whisper and not his usual loudness. But then again he didn’t really care if they noticed. In fact, he wished they saw it all, that they took notes and photographs to remember the look on Sirius Black when he unexpectedly set eyes on you.

The raw look of love.

He had been scared at first. Love. Love, love, love. But after many nights in panic, many interventions from his friends who seemed to enjoy this confusion from him more than actually helping him figure out this foreign weight in his chest, he realized it was what it was. He loved you and it terrified him. He was mainly concerned at the speed in which it had happened, he thought love took time. Maybe it did for some. Not for him, not with you.

A hand around his arm snatched him out of his head and away from the hallway, the shushing sound of his friends as they all tried to stifle their laughter bringing him back to the present.

Mcgonagall stood right in front of them, turning in all directions with a look of disbelief in her eyes.

Sirius held his breath, seeing the small smile appearing over her lips as she let out a sigh, lowering her head with the softest shake. “Those boys,” she murmured, rolling her shoulders back and taking her straight posture again as she started to walk, whatever words she said carried away with her.

They waited a few seconds, making sure they were in no danger. James threw his arms over their heads, taking his cloak from them as he put the soft fabric away. “Well, I’ll call that a success,” he said cheerfully.

“More than a success.” said Peter, turning to Sirius “I didn’t know Y/N would be here.”

“Me neither.” he admitted, starting to walk with the others.

“I thought you said she left this morning,” James laughed, turning in his place to walk backwards “Follow her and all.” He said still buzzing with excitement, the boy looked ready to run around the Castle grounds five times and return back with energy to spare.

Sirius elbowed his best friend on the side “I wasn’t following her.” he stated “She just happens to be with my brother all the time.” he mumbled, the bitterness in his voice not going unnoticed.

“We know, we know.” James said, throwing his hands in the air “Still... she is here.” he said, stopping in his tracks as everything in his body changed.

“That is clear.” said Sirius, missing the look James gave his friends as they all stopped and turned their heads “But-”

“Pads.” Remus muttered “She is here.” he whispered harshly, eyes locked behind him.

“I know.” Sirius hissed, looking oddly at his friends “I saw her at the Great H-”

Peter scoffed, taking Sirius by his shoulders and turning him on his place, his eyes locking on your form nearing them, breathlessly stopping in front of them. They all stood frozen, as if you were another professor hunting them down for their little show just minutes ago.

You let out a breath, resting your hands on your knees for a moment before you look up at them “Hi.” you whispered with a smile.

James was the first one to react, the shock of seeing you there long gone as he smiled back “Hello.”

A long silence fell between all of you, James snapping out of his shock not being enough as they all remained silent. You stared at them for a second, inspecting each of them for a moment before you glanced over your shoulder expecting to see something threatening. The hall was empty.

“Are you all alright?” you asked in concern.

“Just perfect.” chuckled Peter, a tight smile on his lips as he turned to Sirius, seeing the panic in his eyes. “Right, uh- Wh-what are you doing here?”

“Don’t be an idiot,” James smiled “You’ve met her, she studies here.”

Peter turned to him with a look of disbelief.

Remus shut his eyes closed and let out a heavy sigh.

You rolled your eyes, suppressing a smile as you turned to your side while avoiding your eyes from wandering to the one person you wanted to look at.

Sirius was already looking at you, his eyes drifting momentarily to James as he laughed, bumping fists with him in what he hoped was a discreet manner.

“Actually,” you said, gathering their attention “I was hoping to ask you,” you pointed at Sirius “That same question.”

“If I study here?” he asked with a fake pout “Here I thought you remembered our time together fondly.”

Your eyes widen “The four of you are impossible.” you mumbled.

“It’s a talent.” James said with a shrug.

“The secret to our success, really.” Peter added.

“Besides our good looks.” Sirius said.

“And one brain.” Remus mumbled from beside you, his tall frame leaning on the wall beside you as he rubbed his temple.

“That too.” Sirius conceded.

Your mouth hung slightly agape, staring at the four of them and wondering how they worked together so smoothly. Only Merlin knew.

Shaking your head you locked eyes with Sirius, although nervously and with your stomach doing flips inside you, you managed to maintain a somewhat confident stare “What are you doing here?” you asked him, silently thanking Remus in your head as he gathered Peter and James and dragged them away from you.

“I could ask you the same,” he told you “I thought you said you were going home for the Holidays.” he raised an eyebrow, his intense gaze making you feel little but never making you falter.

“I never said that.” you stated, lifting your chin as you crossed your arms.

He mimicked your stance, making it a little hard to take him seriously with the ugly sweater he wore but the look on his face told another story, no matter what he wore he had an air to him, a familiar one, confident and powerful “Neither did I. Guess we need to work on our communication.”

You scoffed, glancing away for a second “Right.” you returned your eyes to him, pursing your lips and wavering in whether you should muster your next words “I thought Christmas was important for your mom. Regulus said…”

“Regulus and I have different ideals.” he said sharply, making you back away slightly, frowning at him. “I’m sure he has told you.”

“No. He hasn’t.” you said, confused at his sudden change, making you stand straighter “That’s what I came here to ask you, not that it matters.” you turned your head, looking over the heads of his friends and motioning your hand in the air, muttering “It’s really none of my business.”

Right on cue, Félix emerged from the end of the hall and ran to your side “Now?” he asked excitedly and you nodded.

Turning away from Sirius you walked behind Félix and towards James, Remus and Peter.

Félix was the sweetest boy, having lots of cookies you helped him bake the previous night, he had asked you to help him find Remus and his friends to give them some of the cookies. But now, as you stood before them their voices turned off and the weight in your heart became more prominent. What did he mean by different ideals?

You were more than aware of his presence behind you, standing like a shadow behind your back. Both Regulus and Sirius had snapped at the mention of the other, then why did Sirius’ reaction sting more?

Félix had paid little mind to the rest of the Marauders, giving them cookies and smiles as he hovered over Remus, asking him thousands of questions and barely stopping his talking. You saw Sirius’s hand as he took the gift from Félix, but you kept your eyes on the small boy in front of you, avoiding the pair of grey eyes and his gaze on you.

“A-and how did you manage that spell?!” Félix asked “I’ve tried it before, froze my hand and one of Y/N’s books. Sorry about that,” he paused briefly, looking at you before he returned his attention to Remus.

“That is a very advanced spell.” Remus told him, giving you a smile as he looked back at him with the same excitement “Are you sure you should be trying those spells on your own?”

“Y/N helps me and I help her with Herbology.” he told him smugly.

You made a sound as you reached for Félix, grabbing him and covering his mouth “And that is enough from you.” you said, his eyes confused as he fought your hand “Thank you for listening to the little beast,” you told them, starting to back away from them “I promise the cookies are safe to eat.” you said, dragging Félix with you as they all watched the two of you in amusement “Merry Christmas!” you yelled, giving all but one of them a smile before you disappeared from their sight.

Automatically, they all walked to stand next to each other, staring at the spot where you stood.

James pursed his lips, nodding slightly before he turned to his right, his hand in the air as he slapped the back of Sirius’s head.

Sirius shrinked himself, lifting his arms in protection “What was that for?!” he asked, rubbing the back of his head.

Remus and Peter stared judgingly at him, hoping for the realization to hit Sirius but he was just too oblivious.

James put on his most serious face and adapted to a strange pose in him “Regulus and I have different ideals.” he mocked, his face changing back to one of disbelief as he raised his hand again but restrained from hitting his friend, letting his hand fall to his face “Scare her away more, would you? I think she didn’t get it, let me go get her so you can ruin everything!” he finished exasperatedly.

Sirius's head snapped to the way you went, his eyes wide as it finally dawned on him. The way you avoided his eyes, how you backed away from him, your more tense stance, the lack of smile in his direction when you left.

“I did ruin it, didn't I?”

TAGS If your name is like this it means I could not tag you :(

Skittles

@iwritesiriusly / @trinimalfoyyy / @megaprincesscakes / @lunalovegoodsgirlfriend / @amourtentiaa / @zaidlyn / @aconfusedslytherin / @abbott27 / @aconfusedslytherin / @the-lonely-poet-loves-to-weep / @dreamcxtcherr / @angelsandsorcery

Winter in the Shade

@plethoraofpuppies / @dracoissohot / @funravenclaw2002 / @nehireerdogan / @ktyflwr / @lilyevanswhore / @edithsvoice / @medalloway-blog / @falconxbarnes / @blackst0nes7077 / @gabitanaka47 / @padsfirewhisky / @lazzwhile / @lilylikethefl0wer / @crazy-beautiful / @blackenergy / @ninawhatfandom / @justchecking-mayheadback / @just-wordsandthoughts / @simpforslytherins / @letmeinplease22 / @auggie2000 /

Marauders

@destourtereaux

[constantlyunlightening]

Work, work, work

Day 15: Cockwarming

Warnings/Other Kinks: Anxiety/Depression implications and mentions (Doppo is just like thattt), Doppo kinda snaps at the end, office sex/sex at work, dubcon (there's not explicit consent in this so I'm going to put it just in case but the reader and doppo are in a relationship and I meant for this situation to be consensual, but Doppo's anxiety in this situation made it seem kind of sus)

I have nothing but Hypmic on the brain. I love feral screaming Doppo. Would highly recommend listening to him belly scream here. :D I really do want the best for this boy tho. I love him so muchhhh.

Disclaimer: 18+ years and older to read. All characters in this work are 20 years or older. This is a fictional depiction of a relationship and is not meant to be mimicked in real life. I do not condone cockwaming your partner in their place of work irl.

It was always work, work, work with him. Well, work and rapping but Doppo hardly ever talked about his Matenro. It was always about his balding asshole of a boss, his terrible coworkers and work, work, work.

You knew he was a workaholic. You knew that when you fell in love with the guy. But geez. Time for him to learn that self care was a priority.

You had stormed to his office after having spent two hours - past the time he was supposed to get off - waiting for him at home. This overtime was bullshit. The man worked himself to the bone. And he didn't know how to say no. You worried about him! It was the reason why you marched right over to the cubicle. The place was deserted, all except for poor Doppo, sitting at his desk pinching the bridge of his nose and surrounded by paperwork.

"What the hell is all this?" You asked as you came up behind him and you almost felt bad watching as the man let out a shout, jumping out of his seat and scrambling like a frightened rabbit. A few of the papers he had on his desk got caught up in his whirlwind and dusted around the room - a fact you assumed Doppo would be disgruntled about later, but he looked far too nervous right now as he took labored breaths and let wide eyes take in your form.

"Wh-what are you doing here?"

".... You're being worked too hard if the sound of your girlfriend's voice is enough to panic you," you quipped back, ignoring his question for now as you bent over to try to help organize some of the scattered documents that had fallen to the floor. Let him have the time to bring his breathing back to normal. You were mainly pissed at his job for overworking him - not so much him. Didn't need to go give him a heart attack. "You're here late again. I was checking in on you." A pile of paperwork stacked against your chest, you moved over closer to him to set it down on the desk and took your time eyeing the assortment of work he had lying around. This couldn't all be his. Some of them must be pawning off their work, and Doppo just so happened to be the biggest doormat around. A sigh heaved from your lips, and you didn't miss the way Doppo shuddered. How could you? The man tensed up like he was being shot by lightening. "Looks like it was a good thing I did too. This work would have kept you here all night if someone didn't come to stop you."

"I'm sorry!" You weren't surprised but the volume of his apology made you jump and as he started to spew off more and more apologies, you quickly grabbed him by the tie and yanked him in, pressing a quick kiss to his lips. You weren't trying to invalidate his feelings by cutting him off, but there was no reason for him to be panicking like he was. And luckily, kisses from you always seemed to soothe him - at least as soothed as someone like Doppo could be.

"Baby," you purred gently, pulling your lips from his and watching the way his cheeks lit up with a dusting of pink. Always so stressed, this one. But the face he made after you kissed him made your heart flutter. Dumbfounded but he still managed to swoon in subtle ways - those aquamarine eyes zoomed in on you like you were treasure. The simple strokes you gave to his hair made him melt - the tension zapped out of his shoulders and he almost started to slump into you. "You don't have to say sorry. But it's time to go home now. No more work."

That cute daze in his expression only lasted a moment more before it was like all that anxious energy plowed right back into him. The word 'work' was enough to flip a switch with him. "That's not right! I have a whole ton of it!" His arm extended outward, waving at the stacks piled high. "I'm sorry but I have more work to do. I'll finish as soon as I can but - I gotta do this or my crazy boss will pile even more work on me! Or I'll lose my job or worse I-ll-"

"Doppo!" You cut him off and tried to calm him down. It worked to some extent but only enough to keep him from screaming or spiraling into one of his crazes. You didn't convince him to stop working though and eventually you had to settle for watching him drown himself in the work in front of him, trying to suppress your groans.

You loved the man. But really?

Playing the waiting game wasn't something you were interested in though. Which is why, after a bit of working, you somehow managed to not only weasel your way into his lap but you also got his cock out of his pants, stroking it just enough to get him riled up as you watched him try not to panic.

"You can't just do that-"

"I just did. Don't worry. The cameras can't see in here. It's fine," you coaxed, letting him stay nervous anyway as you pushed your panties to the side from underneath your skirt causing him to visibly gulp. But he wasn't pushing you off.

"I have to work," he declared, whispers on the verge of being shouts fell from his lips but cut off into a whimper as the head of his dick was suddenly being warmed up by the heat of your body as you slowly sank down onto him - taking him in inch by inch. 

It wasn't until you were fully seated to the hilt, listening to his breath hitch that you gave a tiny huff. "Then work." And your body stilled. No movement other than the flutter and clench of your walls against your hung lover, letting your eyes watch his flustered face. He clearly didn't know what to say and you watched as his gaze flickered around like a chicken with its head cut off - to your face, to his paperwork, to where your bodies were joined and then anywhere but you. Good. Get him riled up. He was panicking but you could feel him twitch inside of you, like he was anticipating for you to move - waiting for it. But you kept your hips locked in place as you leaned in and rested your head on his shoulder. "Work, Doppo. Just giving you some motivation for when you finally get done." Your voice was much to kindly for someone who just pulled somebody's dick out in the middle of a public office. But it managed to keep him from tipping over his brink just yet. Poor thing always got so worked up. Your physical actions may not be helping that necessarily, but your voice always seemed to soothe him over, even if it was only a little at a time. 

"H-how?" You listened to him practically squeak, shifting under you and instantly giving a whine at the slight push against your walls. How was he supposed to work when you were on him like this? How was he supposed to concentrate when you were constricting around him? When you were filling him with molten lava from the bottom up?

With feather light kisses, you trailed a line across his neck, trying to remain still on the cock that was stretching out your insides - forcing the urge to bounce on him like a pogo stick until you both lost even the capability to think of work. You would behave somewhat for now though. Doppo could get his work done. You could get some form of closeness in the meantime. Besides, maybe a good vise grip on him could speed up the process? Or make him say 'fuck it' altogether - hopefully, literally fuck it. "Just work, Doppo. Since it's so important. Ill wait," you cooed, almost as if you were being thoughtful. Too sweet for him to argue and you listened to him give a defeated groan of a sound before he tried to level out his breath and refocus. 

Oh, but that was easier said than done. Doppo had restarted on the paperwork, working around you as your warm body nuzzled into his chest. He usually felt like he was suffocating at work but right now, it felt like your body was trying to strangle the life out of him from somewhere other than the neck. How were you so tight? How come velvety walls were squeezing down on him over and over again without either of you even moving? You were starting to leak out around him, a sticky mess starting to spill out onto his lap slowly - torturous. Maybe you were actually trying to be sweet. Maybe you were actively trying to mess with him. But either way, it was kicking up a bad habit within him. He would reach for another stack, shifting in the chair and causing the tiniest of mewling to escape from your lips. It was a blissful sigh here, a hitched breath there, a tiny hum into his chest and it was going to break him. He was supposed to be focusing but at this rate, he was going to start making mistakes on his work.

You were causing him to silently work himself up. Each climb of his emotions resulted in a string of jitters, and in return had your body clenching even tighter on him. How could you even feel like that? He choked, tugging at his tie to try and gasp for air. You were messing with him. You had to be. You must be mad he wouldn't leave. This was his retribution. To be strangled by your wet cunt over and over without reprieve- without any motion for relief. Well, fuck that. He may love you. But he worked far to hard day in and day out. Pent up didn't even begin to describe it. If you were going to try to rile him up like that, then he would give you riled up because he couldn't take it. Not a second longer. Not with that familiar primal darkness beginning to flare inside him.

His body rocked and you instinctively lifted your head from his chest to peer up at him, the first actual movement he had made since you had sat on him. "Are you okay?"

"O-okay?" He was stuttering his words but unlike his panic from before, this time he sounded angry. It wasn't a tone he took entirely too often. But you knew Doppo. You knew if his buttons were pressed enough, he would snap. He was tea kettle, getting hotter- "how do you except me to be okay-" and hotter "- when your purposely trying to make me-" until he screamed "-loose my fucking mind!?"

You only had enough time to widen your eyes before he flew out of his chair, taking you with him and slamming you onto his desk. The noise he made was positively feral - teetering between a growl and a scream - and without a warning, he was wrecking you, bludgeoning into you with a speed you hadn't even been aware he was capable of. 

"D-D-Doppo!" You were trying to talk but the sudden thrusting was knocking out your capabilities to think. You had been stretched out and horny for a while now but at this pace you couldn't keep up. You were trying to grip at his shoulders for some type of stability. "H-hang on a sec-"

"Hang on?!" He sounded unhinged - a growl ringing in the back of his throat so different from his usual meek - if not panicked - composure. "I've been hanging on! I've been hanging on this whole time! You just had to be on me huh? When I'm at work!" Papers were tossing up into the air around you and you could hear the clatter of the cubicle as he knocked you into the desk over and over. Oh, you couldn't even keep your eyes opening with the way your senses seemed to overload. "All this work - all these damn excuses to pile it onto me - and then you still come in here and give me more work. Too needy? Need my to pound you senseless before I can finish my work? Then that's what I'll do. I'll take you over and over and over again until you're out for days!" He declared, his hands clamping down on your hips and you could already feel the bruises even as the head of his cock shifted up enough to find your sweet spot, leaving you wailing out. "Again and again and again!" He got louder and louder with his sounds, growls and grunts turning into wanton groans and gasps as he split you in two. 

This would teach you not to mess with him at work. Or maybe it would teach you to mess with him more.

[parvulous-writings]

Alex Law x Reader // SFW alphabet

Warnings: Very vague mentions of violence? If you squint?

Summary: SFW alphabet for Alex Law, from Shallow Grave. 

Notes: My asks box is currently open and empty! Please check out the pinned post for characters I write for! :) Enjoy! 

Not my gif

A - Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Alex never really shows affection in the conventional or typical sense. He’s not particularly one for PDA, such as hugs in front of others or kisses in public. He’ll lay with you on the couch though, and of course sleeps by your side- in your bed or in his. There are a few instances when he’ll be affectionate in front of others- like if either of you are really upset, or if you’re watching a movie with Juliet and David. 

B - Best Friend (What would they be like as a best friend? Where does the friendship start?)

Alex can be a little bit annoying sometimes.Well, not sometimes. Most of the time. He tries to be nice, in his own Alex-y way. He would take the mickey out of you and joke around a lot, but despite this he would always be there to be a shoulder to lean on or just someone that listens to you. 

C - Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

He would never admit it to anyone else, but Alex actually really likes cuddles. Just curling up with you late at night, on the couch or in bed, in the dark, where you can run your hands through his hair and get away from the world. That’s his favourite type of cuddle. D - Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking, cleaning, ect?)

Alex is actually a pretty good cook! He’s alright a cleaning and keeping things in order, but his cooking is definitely the top of his domestic skills. He never was one to seek someone to settle down with, more the type of person to flit from partner to partner, sticking around for a little while before disappearing again. But he thinks that maybe things could be a little different with you, though he hasn’t ever brought it up to you. E - Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

Unfortunately he would most likely be incredibly blunt about it all. Every last detail. Why he no longer wishes to stay with you, his next steps going forward. If he’s feeling sappy enough he may offer you an apology, but you might not want to count on it, I’m afraid.  F - Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? Do they wanna get married?) He is... Unsure towards commitment, to be brutally honest about it. He is quite fond of the idea of you sticking around though, so at least that something in your favour, right?

G - Gentle (How gentle are they both physically and emotionally?) In more domestic environments likes date nights in the flat,he can be physically gentler than normal- he can be a little bit of a rough-houser so to speak, in everyday situations. On the emotional level, he tries to be gentle when he needs to be- during soft moments, or moments of tense arguments (when he isn’t losing his temper) but apart from that... He’s just Alex. H - Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it, and what are they like?) Like with cuddles, he really likes them. They’re quick, easy and show a fair bit of affection. If anything, you receive far more hugs than cuddles. It’s just a lot easier for the pair of you, since you’re both usually stuck around David and Juliet, and they don’t want to see constant PDA between the pair of you.  His hugs are usually warm, and show you all the love he can’t put into words.  I - I Love You (How fast do they say the “love” word?) Not quickly. Not quickly at all. To Alex, the L word means commitment, and that isn’t something he is entirely willing to jump into. It may take him a number of months before he finally admits the sheer amount of sentiment he holds for you.  J - Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What are they like when jealous?) Alex can get incredibly jealous. And when he gets jealous, he gets moody, angry and pissed off. Surprisingly quickly, in fact. He also gets rather.. Paradoxical. In public, he’ll be possessive and over-protective, whilst behind closed doors he;ll be distant and rather snappy. 

K - Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?) He adores being kissed, and giving kisses. His kisses are usually sloppy yet warm, endearing yet messy. He’ll often kiss you on the cheek or the temple. He’ll occasionally accidentally kiss your ear if he’s in a rush, though. If his feeling more risky, he’ll kiss your wrist or your neck, as a little hint hint. His favourite places to be kissed are under his jaw or the crook of his neck. 

L - Little Ones (How are they around kids?) He hates kids. He hates them with a passion. In his own words, he’d “pay to have them put down”. That’s all that can be said about this, really. 

M - Morning (What are mornings like with them?

Mornings can be pretty hit and miss- it usually depends on if he wakes up in a good mood. He’ll get you some breakfast- usually consisting of toast or cereal, with the rare show of eggs and bacon- and you’ll lounge around with him watching tv.

N - Nights (How are nights spent with them?)

Nights are usually really calm with Alex. He’ll cook dinner, talk with you about your day, and curl up with you on the couch to watch whatever is on tv, be it a movie like Evil Dead, or his favourite show, which he’ll often natter along with.  O - Open (When do they open up about themselves?)

Not often. If he ever opens up to you, it’ll be in the early hours of the morning, when the pair of you are close to sleep, and he thinks that you’ll soon fall into slumber and forget what he told you. 

P - Patience (How easily angered are they?) Usually, he’s fairly patient. But if he experiences to many inconveniences in one day, he will lose his cool. From this aspect, I suppose that he has about average patience, in this regard. 

Q - Quizzes (How much do they remember about you?) Alex doesn’t always remember a lot. I would say it’s not his fault, however it is. If you’re not actively doing something together, most of the things  that you say to him go in one ear and out the other. He doesn’t always mean for this to happen, he just gets so distracted, usually with the tv and crisps.  R - Remember (Favorite memory with you?) Well there’s two, actually.  The first is your first official date, which you spent at a local pub one Friday evening. Since neither of you had work the next day, you both got a little tipsy. Though some memories of the evening were blurry, he remembers your laugh, and how wonderful it was to him.  The second is a more domestic one, from a rainy day in October. You were watching Evil Dead together in the lead up to Halloween, and you both sat there making little jokes and quoting the film. He thought it was really sweet.  S - Security (How protective are they?) He’s fairly protective. Bearing in mind you’re both around David as the man slowly starts to lose his mind, he does grow more protective of you over time, not wanting David to lay a hand on you at all. He can be pretty protective, and he confronted David when he drilled god knows how many holes into the ceilings of every room in the flat. T - Try (How much effort do they put in?) It varies. Some days he can be very much a lazy slob, hardly talking to you beyond one word answers. Other days he’ll be here there and everywhere trying to please you and make you happy, to prove himself worthy of your affection. So overall, about average effort.  U - Ugly (What are their bad habits?) Apparently drinking your cereal milk out of the bowl is a bad habit, so there’s that. Also he frequently forgets to clean his hair out of the bath drain- though that is like one of the only chores he actually has to do.  V - Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?) Eh, so-so. He’s concerned with his hair- I mean, look how glossy it is! But apart from that, he wears fairly fashionable clothes, and only averagely concerned with his appearance, like most men.  W - Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?) Yes. Not that he would outwardly admit it, but yes. He wanders around the flat like a lost puppy trying to look for you if you’re away for more than a few days. The other two find it highly annoying. He doesn’t pay them any mind, though.    X - Xtra (Random HC) I don’t want to say that this man is a grown toddler at times... But this man is a grown toddler at times. And a bit of a drama queen. Okay maybe a lot of a drama queen. Y - Yuck (Things they don’t like either in general or a partner?) Buzzkills. If he’s around someone who he sees to be a buzzkill, or ruins his fun at all, he sees it as a total mood killer and gets quite grumpy. And by quite I mean very. He gets very grumpy around people who ruin his fun. Z - Zzz (Sleep habits)

He is a rather deep sleeper. He sleeps about nine hours on average, and snores a little bit. He also talks in his sleep sometimes, usually when he’s having a night terror. He also lays spread eagle in the bed, sometimes kicking you, other times smothering you in a hug, it’s a roulette sleeping next to Mister Alex Law.

[hellpark]

TOKEN: zzz.z..zz.......,.z.,

PHONE: *fucking buzzes*

TOKEN: mhmgngh .h guh...

TOKEN: Huh...

TOKEN: Damn... I fell asleep...

TOKEN: Who’s even calling me--

TOKEN: Oh it’s Nichole.

TOKEN: Hey, babe...

NICHOLE: Token!

NICHOLE: Hi.

NICHOLE: Oh no, are you falling asleep?

TOKEN: No... I promise, I’m awake.

NICHOLE: Okay sure, sle py head.

TOKEN: Mmh...

TOKEN: Is everything alright?

NICHOLE: Um...

NICHOLE: I guess?

NICHOLE: I don’t kn w.

TOKEN: What does that mean.

NICHOLE: Ummmm... I think I’ll explain it when we’re at the farm.

NICHOLE: I just want d to call you and let you know we’re abo t thirty or four y minutes out still?

NICHOLE: How d d you guys even get so  far?

NICHOLE: We saw y ur car on th  way out of town...

NICHOLE: It was still in flames!

TOKEN: One of the guys... like... poofed us here...

NICHOLE: “Poofed?”

NICHOLE: “One of the guys?” Your fri nds???

NICHOLE: Baby you g tta make more s nse than that.

TOKEN: No... like...

TOKEN: A good... demon.

TOKEN: Or I guess he said he wasn’t a demon... like...

TOKEN: I dunno.

TOKEN: He helped take us here and then left.

NICHOLE: Je us, and yo  ju t trusted him?

TOKEN: Not really...

TOKEN: He was just really bent on helping us...

NICHOLE: Th t’s re ll  w

TOKEN: Babe... you’re starting to cut out...

NICHOLE: I k ow, w  re go  g t rou   th  mou   i s...

NICHOLE: W ’l   e t ere s  n.

NICHOLE: I  ove y u.

TOKEN: I love you too...

TOKEN: See you soon.

TOKEN: [yawn]

TOKEN: Man...

TOKEN: How am I supposed to stay up this late...

TOKEN: Today’s been so wild...

KENNY: Hey, uh, Token?

TOKEN: Mn...?

KENNY: How’s Nichole and the others?

KENNY: Not to, like... eavesdrop or anything...

TOKEN: Mm, it sounds like they’re scared...

KENNY: Makes sense.

TOKEN: She said they’re about half an hour out still.

KENNY: Damn. Sure you won’t fall asleep before then?

TOKEN: Yeah I’m gonna try and stay awake.

TOKEN: Shouldn’t be too hard.

KENNY: I feel that.

TOKEN: What about you?

TOKEN: What has you so wide awake?

TOKEN: Just about everybody but Craig is asleep now.

KENNY: Yeahhh...

KENNY: I guess I just can’t sleep.

KENNY: Got stuff on my mind.

TOKEN: Yeah, don’t we all...

KENNY: Heheh, yeah.

KENNY: So, um.

KENNY: I was just wondering, since Craig wouldn’t dare let me-- and considerin’ how he’s feeling, I don’t blame him--

KENNY: Could I borrow your phone?

TOKEN: My phone?

KENNY: Yeah.

KENNY: I’ve been feeling pretty bad about today.

KENNY: I kinda had a manicure appointment scheduled.

TOKEN: A-- A manicure?

KENNY: Karen.

KENNY: You know how she paints my nails and such.

TOKEN: Oh, right.

KENNY: Yeah, I got her a new color and she was real excited to try it out.

KENNY: Promised her I’d help her test it.

KENNY: Also considering everything that went on back in town, I’m also just a lil worried in general.

TOKEN: That’s understandable.

KENNY: I sure hope it is!

KENNY: But um.

KENNY: Yeah, could I give her a quick call?

TOKEN: Of course, dude.

TOKEN: Take your time.

KENNY: God, thank you.

KENNY: Times like these I wish my phone wasn’t long busted, y’know?

TOKEN: I really don’t.

KENNY: Haha, yeah, you wouldn’t.

TOKEN: Do you think she’d even be up this late?

TOKEN: We have school tomorrow and all...

KENNY: Oh, probably.

KENNY: If my parents are awake this late-- which they definitely are-- she’d be awake too.

TOKEN: Alright, well... 

TOKEN: Like I said, take your time.

KENNY: Thanks dude!

KAREN: I totally didn’t even expect that, like!

KAREN: That show is so good with being really realistic, but also keeping the suspense up that makes you all “oh my gosh, who did it...?”

KAREN: Not that either of those really have to be sacrificed for the other, just!!!

KAREN: I like the show a lot. I like watching it with you.

KAREN: Would you maybe wanna watch more tomorrow after sch--

KAREN: ?

TRICIA: Wow, who’s calling you this late at night?

KAREN: Oh...

KAREN: Maybe my parents...?

KAREN: I don’t know if I should ignore it or if they’d be more mad if I didn’t take it...

TRICIA: I’m surprised they even noticed you were gone.

KAREN: Yeah... I--

KAREN: I better just take it.

KAREN: Um... hello?

KENNY: Hey Karen!

KAREN: Oh!

KAREN: Kenny?

KENNY: In the flesh phone.

KAREN: How are you calling me?

KAREN: Isn’t your phone broken?

KENNY: Yeah, borrowing a friends.

KENNY: How are you?

KAREN: I’m okay-- um.

KAREN: Are you okay?

KAREN: Where are you?

KAREN: You didn’t come home from your friends so I just thought you didn’t want to be home tonight, or...

KENNY: No, no trust me, I wanna be home more than anything.

KAREN: That’s the first time I think I’ve ever heard you say that.

KENNY: Haha.

KENNY: Well I just wanted to say I kinda got caught up in some weird sh-- some weird stuff.

KENNY: I didn’t mean to skip out on nail painting.

KENNY: I’ll make it up to you tomorrow, I promise.

KAREN: Oh, well um...

KAREN: I kind of already painted my nails...

KENNY: Oh.

KENNY: Well... how do they look!

KAREN: Good! Tricia helped me.

KENNY: Tricia, huh?

KENNY: Did y’go and see her tonight?

KAREN: Maybe...

KENNY: Hey, beats home.

KAREN: Totally.

KENNY: Well, tell Tricia that Craig says he loves her and wishes he could be there to keep her safe.

KAREN: Oh... r... really?

KAREN: Tricia, Kenny said that... *Craig* said that... he loves you? And wishes he were... home to keep you safe?

KAREN: I don’t really know why he’d be saying that.

TRICIA: Um, ask him what he’s on and then tell him I hate him.

KAREN: I’m not gonna say that!!!

TRICIA: He’s literally across the hallway from me, why is he being weird.

TRICIA: Why is your brother telling us this.

KAREN: Oh... yeah, um--

KAREN: Kenny, Craig is already home in his room.

KAREN: Did he tell you this earlier?

KAREN: Is everything okay?

KENNY: No, no, Craig’s here with me and the guys.

KAREN: Tricia, my brother says Craig is hanging out with Kenny.

TRICIA: Um, no?

TRICIA: I just heard his door close like two minutes ago.

KAREN: Kenny, Tricia’s pretty sure Craig is home.

KENNY: He super isn’t.

KENNY: Craig, say hi.

CRAIG: Don’t tell Tricia I love her tell her what the fuck is wrong with you.

KENNY: See?

KENNY: Wait--

KENNY: Karen, is there someone else in the house with you guys?

KAREN: Um, just her parents... but they went to sleep a few hours ago.

KENNY: Karen...

KENNY: Whoever’s messing around in Craig’s room is not Craig.

KENNY: We’re nearly fourty miles out of town at Stan’s farm.

KAREN: Huh...?

KENNY: ...

KENNY: Lock the door and turn off the light.

KAREN: Tricia, Kenny says we need to lock the door because...

KAREN: Um.

KAREN: There might be someone in the house... with us...

TRICIA: That’s bullshit.

KAREN: But--

TRICIA: This is a prank.

KAREN: Kenny wouldn’t play a trick on me...

TRICIA: Yeah, and Craig’s too boring, but his friends aren’t.

TRICIA: They’re probably all in on this.

KAREN: But... maybe we should still listen?

TRICIA: No, that’s what they want us to do.

KAREN: I don’t--

TRICIA: Trust me, it’ll be fine.

TRICIA: They’re just trying to scare us.

TRICIA: We can’t let them get to us.

KAREN: T-Trish--

KAREN: Wh-what if it is someone else in the house?

KAREN: What do-- what do we do???

KAREN: I’m scared...!

TRICIA: Karen, if it really is someone bad, I’ll protect you.

TRICIA: I wouldn’t let anything happen to you.

KAREN: ...

TRICIA: (Just stay quiet...)

TRICIA: (They’re probably expecting to hear us...)

TRICIA: (Turn your phone down, I can hear your brother yelling on the other side.)

KAREN: (U-um... okay...)

TRICIA: ...

TRICIA: See?

TRICIA: I knew it.

TRICIA: They’re just trying to fucking scare us.

KAREN: Is that Craig?

TRICIA: Too short to be Craig, probably their idiot friend Clyde or something.

TRICIA: HEY!

TRICIA: You’re not tricking us.

TRICIA: Stop shitting on our night you freaks, get a life!

KAREN: T-Tricia, your parents are sleeping--

TRICIA: They’re heavy sleepers, trust me--

TRICIA: Are you listening to me? Get the fuck out of here and don’t try and scare Karen again.

TRICIA: I’ll kick ALL your asses if you d...

TRICIA: If you don’t... g...

KAREN & TRICIA: a...

GREGORY & ESTELLA: 

TRICIA: Okay maybe your brother was right.

KAREN: T-T-Tricia I think th- I think we should close th--

KAREN: We sh-should close the door, I, um. Um.

TRICIA: Yeah.

TRICIA: Yeah.

TRICIA: Okay.

TRICIA: Tell your brother sorry and hang up.

TRICIA: We’ll lock the door.

KAREN: K-Kenny um.

KAREN: Yeah there’s someone else here.

KAREN: Sorry.

KAREN: I love you.

KAREN: Talk to you soon.

KENNY: Wait-- K--

[5-falsehoods-phonated]

Dee Little Snake

Series Summary:  Janus uses age regression as a way to destress but has little control over it whenever he grows upset. Trying to keep a secret like that can be hard when you’re only four years old, and thus family bonding ensues in a way nobody expected, least of all Deceit.

Chapter 3: Carrots and Cuddles

Chapter Summary:   Virgil and Dee are compromised by carrots; it turns out better than either of them thought it could.

Warnings: crying, mild panic, food mention

WC: 1 846

Taglist (ask to be added): @a-different-s1de @reptilian-with-scallions

General Taglist (ask to be added): @im-an-anxious-wreck

“Eat your carrots and then we can go play alright?”

Virgil leaned forward a bit and held out the fork, having taken it from Dee a few minutes ago when it became clear all he was going to do with it was push the horrible orange vegetables around his plate. Nobody in the mind scape liked vegetables except Janus- for whatever reason. Usually it was the only thing Virgil could get him to eat on the days he was feeling picky but now- Virgil sighed as Dee simply turned his head to the other side and pouted, little arms folded across his chest in a resolute pout.

“Come on buddy, everyone’s gone for now but we don’t know when they’ll be back. If you don’t eat these now you’re gonna be hungry later and I’m not letting you survive on cookies and juice boxes the entire afternoon.”

“Nuh.”

“Dee.”

“Nuh!”

Sighing again, Virgil lowered the fork. Not only was it apparently a picky day but it was also going to be a day where Dee was mostly nonverbal- which was perfectly fine besides the fact that Virgil now had no way of knowing what Dee might actually want at any given point in time, which when you have a time limit to leave the kitchen spotless by with a fussy toddler who suddenly decides to reject his tried and true favorite food it becomes the least ideal situation the living embodiment of anxiety could be in.

He regarded the carrots with distaste before holding up the fork again hopefully.

“Nuh.”

“Work with me a little Dee. No, you don’t want to play?”

“Nuh.”

No, you don’t want carrots? But these were always your favorite-” Virgil watched helplessly as the plate was firmly pushed away and arms crossed again. Did he just suck at this after not having taken care of him in so long? Were carrots not his favorite anymore? Did he just hate Virgil now because he’d taken so long to reach out again? He’d been the one to suggest that Janus take the day to be little to destress since everyone else would be with Thomas for a couple hours and they’d be free to do whatever until then, which Janus had agreed to and what they had been doing all morning until now- lunch- that Dee was stubbornly refusing. 

“Just eat one alright? Just one and then I’ll make you another sandwich for later in case you get hungry.”

“Nuh.”

“Eat the carrot.”

“Nuh.”

“Dee-” Virgil was interrupted suddenly by a whooshing sound. One that sounded distinctly like someone sinking back into the mindscape. Early. While him and Dee were still sat at the table. Panicking Virgil could only stay frozen as the side began to speak, footsteps getting louder as they came towards the kitchen.

“...thought I left it in here but- oh! I didn’t realize you’d be-” Patton stopped in the doorway, a look of shock on his face as he took in the scene of Virgil sat stock still at the table with a forkful of carrot still held aloft and Dee stiff as a board  as well in his own seat with his plate of uneaten carrots in front of him, both of them hardly daring to breathe as the air tensed.

“H-heya Pat! How’s it uh...how’s it going out there?”

Patton blinked. “It- um, It’s going...it’s going. Who might this be?”

They both looked at Dee who, with the air still tense and suddenly being stared at, suddenly became very overwhelmed, lower lip trembling as his eyes flicked from Virgil to Patton and back.

“Dee, you’re okay, it’s fine!” Virgil rushed out, dropping the fork in his urgency to reach for the smaller side.

“Dee?” Patton questioned and that seemed to do it. Tears spilled onto Dee’s cheeks as he began to cry, the panic of being caught finally settling in his mind as he realized Patton was not, in fact, ever meant to see him while he was small. Panicking even more, Virgil fought to keep his voice level as he quickly scooped the now bawling side into his arms and began to try and gently shush him, echoing voice betraying him as it only served to scare Dee further into his head and make him cry harder. Close to tears himself he looked desperately at Patton who seemed to finally snap out of it and sank out quickly, leaving Virgil to stare incredulously at the spot he had vacated. Was he going to tell the others? He knew he couldn't, right? Of course he didn’t he didn’t even know what was going on  how would he not-

“Okay, had to step out and tell them I had a headache coming on and was going to make some tea and lie down. That’ll keep them out there and not looking for any of us! Now-” Virgil watched as Patton came a little closer, fully in Dee’s sights as he continued to cry. “I’m sorry I scared you so badly there kiddo, I just wasn’t expecting to see you is all. I can leave if you want me to but I’d like to stay and help if you’ll let me?”

Patton’s soft tones seemed to calm the toddler down significantly as he leaned more into Virgil but thankfully stopped crying, only jerking a little with lingering hiccups while he eyed the fatherlyside cautiously. Patton seemed to take it as a win however as he looked over to the carrots left abandoned on the table, wrinkling his nose in distaste. “The heck are you being fed kiddo?”

“They’re usually his favorite,” Virgil was quick to defend them both, twisting his mouth to one side as he looked at the now far too cold for comfort cooked carrots congealing at the plate. “At least they were…”

Patton didn’t comment, instead scooping up the plate and turning to Dee. “Well they can’t be any good cold. Why don’t I heat these up and maybe add something special, make them taste different hm?”

Virgil watched as  Dee peaked through his slightly longer bangs at the other side, who only grinned happily and waited. Hesitantly he reached his small fist up and wiped at his eyes, nodding but still making sure to lean back into Virgil. Nodding, Patton turned and made his way to the stove, dumping the carrots into a pan and flicking the burner on. Smiling crookedly Virgil leaned down to nuzzle the top of Dee’s head softly, earning a giggle in return as he squirmed in his arms. Virgil set him back down in his chair gently and pushed his juicebox over to him while watching Patton out of the corner of his eye, who was currently trying his absolute best not to stare at them while he cooked. The carrots sizzled lightly as he added salt and what looked like brown sugar, caramelizing with the pat of butter he had also added. Virgil had to admit it smelled delicious and even Dee was leaning forward in anticipation.

“And here we go! Carrots for people who don’t like carrots!” He set the plate down gently in front of the small side, putting a clean fork next to the plate and carefully taking a seat next to Virgil. They both watched as Dee poked lightly at the carrots, Virgil ready to sigh in defeat, when he actually put a couple in his mouth, eyes lighting up and all but shoving the entire plate in his face.

“Slow down kiddo, they’’ll still be there if you use a fork!” Patton laughed lightly and turned to Virgil, who simply shook his head and mouthed “I’ll tell you later.”

“Fair enough.” Patton mouthed back. “Coffee?”

“God yes.” Accidentally breathing the yes out loud Virgil huffed out a laugh and offered Patton a smile before turning back to Dee. This...definitely wasn’t how he thought the morning would go but- he’d take it.

-----

“Age regression huh? I guess that makes sense.”

“It’s normal Pat.” Virgil’s reply came out sharper than he intended, making the moral side flinch a bit before shaking his head. “Sorry I- defensive. Protective. Whatever, I didn’t mean it like that.”

“It’s cute.” Patton’s eyes softened as he watched Virgil run his fingers through Dee’s hair, the latter fast asleep in anxiety’s lap. “You’re good with him; it’s clear he trusts and loves you a lot.”

Hiding his eyes behind his bangs so Patton wouldn’t see just how much that meant to him he nearly choked trying to answer. “Y- yeah?”

“Yeah.” Patton sat back against the couch and smiled. “I won’t tell anyone, I promise. Poor baby looked scared enough seeing me walk in, I could only imagine if it had been-”

Virgil lifted his head as Patton’s sentence caught, both of them knowing what was hanging in the air but not wanting to voice it. It was a thought better shelved for another day- one that didn’t have a four year old asleep in Virgil’s lap as he tried not to cry in relief that Patton was simply taking this in stride. Virgil could still take care of Janus when he needed it and maybe this would help his and Patton’s relationship like how it helped him and Virgil. Good. Those two needed to sit down and talk at some point and if this was the push they needed well...it was better than nothing Virgil supposed.

“Do you think he’ll be mad? That I saw him like this?” Virgil looked over at Patton twisting his fingers together painfully. “I can guess it was supposed to be secret- I really didn’t mean to walk in!”

Reaching over with his free hand Virgil batted his fingers apart to take a hand in his own. “I know, Pop-star. He’ll understand; he doesn’t hate you.”

“He doesn’t?”

Virgil looked up to see Patton’s wide eyes watering a bit as he pressed his lips together anxiously. He looked almost the exact same way Dee had when he had asked Virgil if he hated him, the memory stabbing through his chest as he squeezed Patton’s hand tightly. 

“He loves you Patton, so much. He loves all of us he just-” has dumb ways of showing it. Virgil smoothed Dee’s hair down gently while rubbing Patton’s knuckles with his other hand. “He loves all of us Patton, you included. He just gets so wrapped up in playing the villain he forgets how to make sure you actually know it.” 

Biting back the urge to hit himself over the head with his own hypocrisy he started a bit as Patton laid his head on his shoulder, intertwining their fingers as he relaxed. “It’s good to know that’s all it is.”

Pointedly ignoring the slight teasing tone, Virgil laid his cheek on top of Patton’s head and simply nodded. They’d have to move soon if they didn’t want to get caught but for now, being curled up on the couch as a small family felt incredibly nice. He supposed they could stay just a little longer.

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[laceymorganwrites]

Filth alphabet: Akutagawa

A=Aftercare

He doesn´t see the need for it since he doesn´t understand the concept of care, love and intimacy. But he will listen if you explain it to him, after you care for him, he understands it a bit better. It feels good, he feels safe and loved, so he tries to mimic the things you did to you. 

After time he´ll do things on his own, his favorite is carrying you to the bath he prepared for you.

B=Body part

On him he doesn´t really like anything, his body is frail and reminds him of his own weakness. But after you told him that you like his eyes, he notices how they´re not as cold anymore, how they soften around you and that makes him smile, he likes it that he isn´t a monster to you.

On you he loves your lips the most, how they curl into the sweetest smile when he enters the room, how soft they are against his own.

C=Cum

If he can and you allow it he loves to cum inside of you, the image of his cum dripping out of you turns him on to no end. 

He doesn´t cum a lot, but his orgasms are always very intense.

Cums way too early in the beginning, he still cums early but he can hold himself back a little longer now.

D=Dirty secret

He wants to tie you up with his Rashomon one time, but is scared that he´ll hurt you, so he hasn´t brought it up yet.

E=Experience

None. You are his first and only one, he wouldn´t even think about those things before he and you got together. And it took him a year to trust you enough to do anything remotely sexual with you, it´s a very slow progress and he´s not too great in the beginning, but he tries his best to please you. 

He heavily relies on communication though, you have to tell and show him what he´s supposed to do.

F=Favorite position

He always needs some sort of eye contact during sex so you can reassure him that you´re okay and that he´s doing great. So probably missionary is his favorite since he doesn´t have to do anything complicated and can just enjoy his time with you.

G=Goofy

Have you seen this man?

He will be even more serious during sex than in his everyday life. You will have to tell him to loosen up a bit, because he´s so stern on pleasuring you.

H=Hair

He doesn´t completely shave, but he trims it and it´s always clean for you. 

I=Intimacy

This is very important to him, holding you close is like heaven for him. Not the most romantic, but will make sure to give you compliments and let you know how beautiful you are. 

J=Jerk off

Has never once masturbated in his life and doesn´t plan to.

K=Kinks

Akutagawa likes being in control and feeling strong, so power play is definitely up his alley. He´s very fond of bondage too, but it took him ages of research to figure out how it works. Has a praise kink. 

L=Location

Not fond of public sex. You once had sex in his office and Dazai walked in, ever since then you only do it in your bedroom with the door locked three times.

M=Motivation

He´s hard to read and doesn´t really seek out sex on his own, he doesn´t feel desire the way others do. Very grateful whenever you initiate something, likes when you trail your fingeres along his neck and whisper your dirty thoughts in his ear.

When he´s stressed or had a shitty day, you can read him like a book. He either wants to be left alone or fuck you into next week to relieve some stress. If the latter is the case he will tell you bluntly.

N=No

Anything that hurts you, be that physically or mentally. He doesn´t want to be the monster everybody views him as. Not to you.

O=Oral

He´s not that good at it, he´s very rough with it and overstimulates you on accident. But if you tell him how to improve, he´ll do it and it´ll feel much better. Honestly after time he´s really good, likes doing oral on you because he´s proud to make you cum with just his tongue and/or fingers.

He however doesn´t really like it when you blow him, he doesn´t like being out of control and gets dizzy when you blow him. His cock is just very sensitive and he´s not used to it. Will let you do it though if you want it. Also he´ll get used to it, but he really needs baby steps.

P=Pace

He had trouble pacing himself in the beginning and started off way too fast, but again, after you tell him to adjust, he will. Overall he´s very hard and fast though. Slow sex happens when he´s missed you or when there´s an important date like your birthday or your anniversary.

Q=Quickie

Most of the times you have sex are accidental quickies since he cums so fast, but he´s not really the type to suggest quickies. He doesn´t like the idea of being used like that, it feels weird to him to just get down to business and disregard the love and care.

R=Risk

He hates the idea of trying new things spontaneously. But overall he´s not against spicing it up, you just have to tell him in time so that he can do research or you can explain it to him.

S=Stamina

Well, because of his health condition, he doesn´t last very long. 2 rounds at max. In the beginning you had to stop a lot of times because he had a coughing fit. He´s very embarrassed by it, but feels so loved when he sees your worried face and loves it when you take care of him.

T=Toys

Doesn´t see the need for it, he wants to be one to satisfy you, if he´d use a toy, he´d feel like cheating, like he wasn´t good enough.

U=Unfair

Hates teasing, especially being teased, so he only teases you the necessary amount.

V=Volume

Used to be super quiet (as in, not a single sound leaving his mouth, which quite frankly concerned you), because he´s embarrassed of his moans. But over time he lets go and makes all the sounds he wants. His moans are whiny and beautiful, they´re a bit higher than his speaking voice. His grunts however are lower.

W=Wildcard

He cried the first few times you gave him an orgasm.

X=X-Ray

It´s very pale and not too thick. Has a nice curve and not too many veins. Rather lengthy, maybe an inch above average.

Y=Yearning

He doesn´t have a high libido at all, but he´s always ready whenever you want him. Sometimes he has wet dreams or daydreams about your nightly adventures and then he´s a horny mess the rest of the day.

Z=Zzz

He has trouble sleeping either way, though he does sleep better in your arms.

The first few times he´d always wait until you were asleep and then get back to work, but over time he allowed himself to fall asleep with you as well.

[insomniac-dot-ink]

We Deserve a Soft Landing, Love

Genre: wlw sci-fi

Words: 4.6k

Summary: An astronaut on the International Space Station gets a transmission from a girl on a dying ship.

They talk as the radiation increases.

Content Warning: death

2036

Astronauts really weren’t supposed to be alone. Not at the space station, it wasn’t made to run that way, three permanent residence were assigned at all times, and they were rarely alone.

But mistakes happen. A gash the size of her forearm down his side, perfectly round red droplets hanging in the air like ping-pong balls in suspended animation. A face as ashen as the grave and yelling. They never yelled.

Sarah Reyes was chosen for her composed personality, composed in theory, less so in practice. She watched her coworker burst open and heard NASA ringing in her ear: what do you even do with a dead body in space?

But he wasn’t gone yet.

They pressed a template they never had before: cрочный спуск, the Soyuz computer sprang to life, emergency.

NASA kept ringing in her ears. Some young women named Janet was talking to her now and she was talking back.

Rod wasn’t going to make the journey if he went back alone. His eyes were barely open and red blooming droplets still swam around the room like liquid party balloons, Sarah never liked the word helpless.

She looked to Nikolai and told him to ‘get the fuck down there,’ someone needed to take the CRV shuttle down with him. Nikolai’s heavy-lidded eyes studied her, he pursed his lips, and she said it once more in Russian and then again in English.

They secured Rod’s bandage a second time, his fever-warm face a distant star on the horizon. She grabbed onto his hand and told them ‘to get the fuck down there.’

They pressed cрочный спуск, the shuttle launched down with Kazakhstan readying down below, God, they had to be ready.

And she was alone.

Astronauts were not supposed to be alone.

The quiet was just as engulfing as the urgency had been before. Janet had apparently gone to take a break and they were on the sun side of the planet. Sarah started counting. It would take them 3.5 minutes to get back to earth. It would take three days for a shuttle to come back to the station. It would take three hours for the shuttle to be attached to the docking port.

It would take some undisclosed amount of time for them to sort out the politics down below. Astronaut’s don’t just burst open. And Sarah was alone.

She continued as normal, there was nothing else to do, she had at the very least three days to herself, and there was cleaning to do. Maintenance, communication. It turned into four days.

She was talking to a young man named Ted on the telecom now and she was sort of starting to hate young men named Ted. Politics were messier than space and no one was even set up to relieve her yet. NASA was in some sort of limbo and Russia wasn’t talking. Sarah was alone.

It was the sixth day when the shuttle finally launched, a crew of three, Sarah had already forgotten their names, but she would have months to memorize them anyway.

She had turned off the intercom for that day, but didn’t notice the static until later when it started echoing off the hallways like a ghost. Sarah didn’t believe in ghosts, though. No self-respecting scientist believed in ghosts.

They were on the planet side of the sun, dark, alone, dumping heat back into the square hallways through the vents.

Sarah heard the first hush of static in her sleep, strapped down and frowning deeply as she screwed her eyes shut. It felt like she was getting tinnitus. For a moment she refused to wake up, she had to keep to her schedule, or else what the fuck else was she going to have up there.

The static breathed again, and her thoughts broke off and on in starts. Finally, she sat up, after all, they don’t know what to do with dead bodies in space. She ripped her sleeping mask off and cocked her head to the side.

Ssshhhhhh

She squirmed out of her restraints and floated to the side of the room, “It’s probably just Yulia messing with the frequencies planet side,” She muttered to herself mostly just to hear the sound her own raw voice in the dark, “Just Yulia…”

She pulled herself up and out and floated over to the communication bay while passing the wide yawning emptiness of the station. It could technically suit ten people, the size of a five-person house, but apparently, earth was still arguing. Two more days.

Sssshhhhhhh

She sighed and followed the noise; she really wasn’t in the mood for any system malfunctions. She tapped on the screen of the newly installed video chat. It sprang to life with the headquarters of NASA asking who she would like to get a hold of today.

Sarah blinked. But no one had been hailing her.

Sssshhhhhh

She looked around and the hairs on the back of her neck stood on end. None of the devices in the room were lighting up or winking at her. None of them were making any sounds at all. She scratched the back of her hand and accepted the fact that the noise really wasn’t coming from the central communication room.

Sarah turned around in meaningless circles and then left a message to the NASA night crew that there was a possible technical issue on the ISS. Two days before any crew was set to land, Sarah groaned, and it was just her.

She took deep breaths and pushed herself off toward what she could only assume was the source.

Ssssshhhh

She cringed as she crossed the "unity" room into the Russian side of the station, empty as a ghost town and twice as unnerving. But Sarah didn’t believe in ghosts.

Ssssshh-he-sssshh–ll-ssh-o

“Ah!” She clutched at her heart as something, a voice something, echoed off the halls. She took a deep rasping breath and turned in every which direction.

Ssh, hello? It came again.

Sarah’s mouth hung open and she found herself outside of a room that had been used as an old communication hub. It was a relic from a time back when they had separate ones instead of a “bubble of trust” in the center of the station.

Sarah cocked her head to the side and stared. One of the old radios that was attached to the wall and ingrained in the system was making a soft but distinct buzz. It was grey and had a panel of buttons and a microphone attached to a round speaker. Most of the old pre-2025 devices had been removed or repurposed but this one was intact and felt like she was reaching backward in time itself.

She frowned at it and she knew she should go report this. Houston would want to know one of the 2000 models was acting up.

Shhh-h–ssss

Sarah reached forward and her finger hovered in midair over the panel and her eyes glued to the intercom. There was something, a voice-something, bubbling underneath the static.

And, of course, she did believe in aliens.

Sarah pressed down on a feedback button and wet her lips, she leaned down toward the speaker, “Is someone there?”

She held her breath and watched the blinking red light of the transmitter in the dark center of the room. It had been repurposed several years ago to be another storage room.

She blinked, waited a full minute, and suddenly felt a little silly-- she should really be sleeping right now. Or reporting it. She watched the flickering red light and counted.

60 seconds, 180 seconds, 3 minutes, Sarah was about to take her finger off the feedback button when something responded back with clear articulation.

“Oh, thank God,” Sarah’s mouth fell open. It was a woman. She quickly bent over to reply, but the voice kept going, “Can you hear me? Is someone there? I am Lotte De Vos of the Argus, Landing Mission One, ESA. Can you hear me?”

Sarah gasped, “Oh my god--”

Lotte kept speaking quickly, “We have been pushed out off route and…Can anyone hear me?”

“Yes!” Sarah returned as soon as she found her voice again, perhaps yelling into the speaker a little too loudly, “We thought, I, are you safe? We thought the Argus was lost, what’s your status?”

Sarah did the math in her head, it would take four to five minutes for radio waves to transmit between Earth’s orbit and the Argus. The Jupiter moon’s mission.

“I can’t see our location, but I think I am stranded near the atmosphere of Jupiter, repeat I can see the troposphere…I don’t know where I am.”

“Argus,” Sarah rushed to speak, hoping they could balance out their conversation, “I am Sarah Reyes of the International Space Station, NASA, I can hear you loud and clear. What’s your status?”

She waited. Counting, 60 seconds, 2 minutes, 3 minutes, God, she needed to tell someone about this. But she heard the sharp intake of breath on the other end.

“ISS?” Sarah exhaled as the woman responded, “Thank God, okay, this is Lotte De Vos, reporting again from the Argus. The…the life support system is sustaining itself it looks like but none of the ram’s are responding, I think we’re disconnected from the rockets.”

“Miss De Vos,” Sarah hunched over, “What is the status of the crew? How much oxygen do you have left? What…what happened?” She remembered reading about the Argus a week ago. About the radio silence on the other end of one of the most ambitious human-manned missions into their solar system.

One minute. Two minutes. Three. Four.

“I,” She heard the other astronaut falter, “I have the full amount of oxygen left that we carried with us for the return journey.” She paused and a hitch of static filled the air, “The crew is incapacitated.” The voice said flatly and without inflection, “We were hit with an unexpected projectile and pulled into Jupiter’s orbit, we didn’t calculate the full effect of the mass of the planet on our ship it seems,” She chuckled and it was one of the most surprising sounds Sarah had ever heard, “I guess we are still making scientific discoveries.”

“Do you have your satellite? Where is your telecom? We can--”

The delay continued to confuse their conversation, “--it’s acting like a black hole, we tried to fix the rockets to propel us back to the base on Io but there wasn’t enough power, everyone else,” The young women took a deep shaking breath, “They tried to get back to it without the ship. Some of our jets were still working for the suits.”

“Oh my God,” Sarah whispered.

“It didn’t work.”

Sarah waited, making sure Lotte was finished and the full four to five minutes had passed so Lotte could get Sarah’s message.

She heard another laugh on the other side, “We really need a better system than this. How about we say ‘over’ when we’re done talking?” Sarah’s shoulder’s tensed. The woman sounded so young. “Anyway, to answer your question, our telecom was damaged when the projectile thrust us off course, I just recently jury-rigged this device in order to be picked up on low frequencies.” Sarah nodded and Lotte took an audible breath, “Over.”

Sarah pressed her forehead up against the cool metal of the side-paneling; she cleared her throat, “Lotte,” she said quietly, “Do you need me to contact anyone?” It had taken that crew six years to get to Jupiter’s moons. “Over.”

Sarah squeezed her eyes shut.

She heard the next notes like a deflating balloon, “So you’ve figured it out too?” She said with a controlled tremor to her voice, “Well… I have a few people I would like to message if you could write it down. Over."

Sarah floated to the side of the makeshift storage room and found a pen and paper. She wrote down the woman’s mother’s name, her college professor’s email, and her ex-lover’s phone number.

“Do you want me too,” Sarah cringed, “uh, write down messages for them? For me to say to them. Over.”

She waited, she heard a sigh when the four minutes passed, “Just tell my mom I love her. That sort of thing. Tell the professor I wouldn’t be here without her, I mean, not here, in space, in a bad way, shit, actually don’t tell her that. Tell her that her intro classes are still making freshman wet themselves and I love it.” Sarah laughed.

“And the last one?” Sarah asked as she waited for Lotte to come back to her.

Lotte gave a snort, “Flip her off for me. Maybe subtly infer she’s been skipping arm day and is looking a little noodly. That would make my night. Over.”

Sarah chuckled deeply and it was hard for her to take it all in, she should be writing more down. She should be writing it all down. “You know,” Thoughts ran through Sarah’s head like a speeding stop-and-go traffic jam, “Are the rockets really not working? Because a simple continued jury-rig of the thrusters back to the navigation might, hmm, help.”

The response took longer than usual, “Don’t do this me.” Came the hushed reply, “I’ve tried, Sarah, don’t you think I’ve tried? Whoever you are, from wherever. Don’t do it.”

“Sarah Reyes.” She repeated slowly, blinking into the dark. “I’m from Minneapolis.”

Lotte hummed, “Oh…I’m from Belgium. Ghent. Nice to meet you.”

Sarah’s insides felt like they were turning all over the place, “I’ve been to Belgium, it’s very beautiful.”

“Not underwater yet?” The other girl joked, slightly off time due to the time lapse.

“They’re trying their best,” Sarah said with a sniff, “And they never invented a statute called ‘the Twinkie Law,’ so they did better than my city.”

She heard a strange groan from the other end of the line which made Sarah sit up straight, “I would honestly give anything right now for a twinkie. Anything.”

Sarah ended up laughing, “Alright, top ten food goos and then worst goos, go.”

Lotte made a choking sound, “Nooo, Sarah Reyes, all I want right now is some ripe cherries, a medium rare steak, fuck it, a rare steak, and ten twinkie’s, one for every finger. No goo.”

Sarah was snickering, “Well I want a nice hamburger and maybe a salad with ranch dressing. Kleenexes. Running water.” She smiled to herself, “And a proper toilet.”

The silver sound of a laugh came back from the other end, “Wrong answer! The whole reason I went to space was for suction toilets.”

“Oh no, no, no, come. On.” She said emphatically.

“What we all really need is at least one beer each.” Sarah snorted and Lotte bemoaned, “A margarita, two loggers, some vodka, good vodka, the kind the Russians would give to their moms.” Lotte lamented and Sarah shook her head.

“Why did you go to space then?” She asked fondly to the other end, “It’s the last dry county in humanities jurisdiction Dutch girl.”

Lotte huffed another laugh on the other end, “We’re getting personal now? Well, you first, why are you in space hurtling above the earth developing poor bone mass?”

Sarah let herself float up a little higher and used the next minute to think about her answer, she leaned toward the speaker, “Height.”

The five minutes passed and all that came back was a confused, “What?”

“I gain two and a half inches every time I come up here. Eventually, I figure I’ll hit five feet.”

A loud guffaw came back, “Taller! Of course, but what is that in human measurements?”

Sarah rolled her eyes, “Old habits. 6.3 centimeters and 1.5 meters, happy?”

“Woof,” Lotte barked back cheerily, “They really do bring them in smaller each year. Over.”

Sarah exhaled dramatically, “Back to you then Miss Lotte. How tall are you? And, I don’t know, what’s your favorite, hmm, tea?”

Two minutes, three, four.

“Tea? Boring. Do you know how close Jupiter’s atmosphere is to me right now? Ask me about my childhood nightmares and favorite sex position.” Sarah opened her mouth to respond with a dismissive sniff, but Lotte added quietly at the end, “…it’s mint by the way. Peppermint.”

Sarah smiled and she squeezed her eyes shut for a full minute, “Well, my childhood nightmare was Santa having literal claws and strangling me.” Sarah said good-humoredly as she drummed her fingers on her leg and counted the seconds.

“Is that your favorite position as well?”

“Lotte,” She said with a warning tone and considered turning back around toward the communication hub. The next five minutes left her contemplating if it was a crank call-- Houston did have some annoying interns.

“Strangling is perfectly natural, no need to be ashamed. I did it to my barbie dolls and everything.”

Sarah rolled her eyes, “They really do send them up crazier each year.”

Lotte laughed and it was a strained sound with a tin undertone. Sarah pursed her lips together, “Sarah?” Lotte said, barely audible over the static this time.

“Yeah?” She waited.

“Can you see earth?”

Sarah’s shoulders slumped over and she nodded meaninglessly before taking her finger off the feedback button and floating back over to the observatory. Two hours had passed.

She looked out over a deep brown storm cloud over China, a few glowing tendrils of cities and roads, and the textured darkness of the earth side of the sun. She went back to the transmitter, “We’re over the Bahama’s. It’s blue right now, very, very blue.”

She heard the softest of sounds over the radio, “My haul is made of titanium.” Lotte said carefully, “But I’m not sure if the radio waves will be disturbed by the planet’s magnetic field.”

“Oh.” Sarah said back, squeezing her eyes shut, knowing Lotte was still talking.

“And then the radiation will begin anyway,” Lotte made something that was almost a laugh, “remember those numbers okay? Tell my mom. You know. Tell my teacher I wasn’t going to make it without her, but not in this way. And tell Karen to, you know, fuck off.”

“Wait,” Sarah said breathlessly.

“I’m about to be sucked into the atmosphere, wait a little for me, k? We can see if this mess of a radio might hold up. Just wait a little. Then go tell the world I went out fighting. Fighting aliens or a space octopus, tell them that there are definitely space octopuses and the Argus went down swinging.”

“Okay,” Sarah rasped, holding the button down until the tip of her finger bleached white. “Okay!” She racked her brain for what to say, what eulogy’s people ended with or final lasting sentiments that maybe meant something, “I’ll eat some twinkies for you. Ten. One for each finger.”

Sarah waited. Two minutes. Three minutes. Five. Sarah was shaking, this isn’t what she expected when she woke up that morning. The station orbited into the sun side of the planet. What was she even going to tell Houston? How do you start that report?

Sarah rubbed her stinging eyes, “I’ll put them on my fingers too. Eat them in some Dutch coffee shop and kick your ex in the shins.” She pushed her palms into her eye sockets, “Oh God, oh my God.”

Numbness ran up and down her legs and she floated away from the feedback button. She was still glad she didn’t believe in ghosts-- she really didn’t need this one.

She turned back to exit the room and float to somewhere far away and cold and curl up for a little bit.

Shhh–What’s up loser?!

Sarah jumped and turned around instantaneously, “Lotte?!” She jammed her finger on the transmission button.

“Can you hear me? I can’t see out my window right now, but the magnetism might not be messing with my radio as much as I thought. More discoveries for science, yay. Have them name a cockroach after me or something. Unless, of course, you can’t hear me and this is just, you know, the death chasm I’m speaking into--”

“I can hear you!” Sarah yelled as her finger cramped on the switch, the red light flared like a fog horn. “I can hear you, it’s still working!” She didn’t know why she was excited; this girl was entering into one of the most radioactive places in the solar system, Sarah kept her eyes on the speaker.

A tired exhale answered, “You waited after all.”

Sarah bit her lip, “Yeah. I waited.”

The four minutes felt excruciating, “I figure I have around forty-five minutes… Anyway, if you’re curious, it is incredibly hot. If I didn’t have any decency left I would be naked right now.”

Sarah sniffed, “No one can see you, you know. And I imagine it’s burning up.”

The next transmission was garbled, but she could still make it out, “Dying in the void of space is one thing, dying in the void of space butt-naked is another.”

Sarah couldn’t get herself to laugh this time, but she tried, “Well, I’ll tell everyone you were wearing a full suit of armor. Pearls. Evening gloves. The octopus didn’t stand a chance.”

Lotte made a soft sound, “That’s really all I ask, heels too, I miss heels. I felt tall, like one of those small dogs on top of tables? Or the fact you enjoy getting 5 centimeters taller in space?”

Sarah made an exasperated noise, “I don’t suppose you mock all the people you share last words with.”

Lotte gave a soft chuckle, “Just you darling.” A long pause followed and Sarah didn’t move to fill it; Lotte took her time with another slow hissing breath, “Tell me about something.”

Sarah blinked, “I have a collection of coins from the Ottoman empire.”

“Okay,” Lotte sounded faint, “Who was your first crush? Besides 16th century Sultans or something I mean. What was your first book? What's your favorite kiss? Come on,” Lotte snickered weakly, “I’m dying here.”

Sarah’s skin felt too tight, itching in the dark, “My crush was Martina Rodriquez. Fifth grade, she punched me in the face once after I told her that her that her nose was crooked. I learned to read when I was three so I don’t really remember the books, accelerated learning and all that. I learned to speak in full sentences when I was six. My first kiss was,” Sarah sighed, “Don’t laugh okay? In my college’s chemistry lab, age 23.” She said all of it quickly with pained breaths, time was measured in fours and fives.

A laugh came back from the other side of the universe anyway, “Chemistry lab? God, you’re the one giving astronauts a nerdy name.”

“Hey!”

“And it’s cute. You sound cute. I’m sure you’re very smart too, can probably name way too many numbers of pi.” She could, “I guess I was like that too…Why I’m up here.” Lotte trailed off.

“Why are you up here?” Seven minutes passed.

“I saw Cassiopeia one night… my grandpa told me they hung her upside down in the night sky to punish her. I fell in love,” Sarah clenched her jaw tight, “I guess you could say that’s how it happened. Love or whatever.”

“Lotte--” Sarah put her face next to the speaker.

“You know, I always thought this is what I wanted to do.” Lotte was faltering, “And it is.” She repeated with a slight hysteria and frantic-edge to her words, “I think it was always what I wanted to do. Always.” There came a pause and Sarah heard a strangled retching noise on the other side.

“Lotte!” She yelled into the intercom, “Lotte, are alright?”

It took a very long time before she got a response and then she was back to waiting, “Yeah,” A voice finally said hoarsely, “Just…puking. You know, when you get to see food goo all over again? That feeling.” Lotte sounded like she was trying to laugh, “Sarah?”

“Yeah?”

“Who was this first kiss?” Lotte asked quietly before sniffing, “Was she cuter than me? I hope not… And then, what’s, what’s your favorite tea?”

Sarah squeezed her free hand closed, balling it up into a painful fist and digging her nails in, “No. She was a PhD. student and thought that Potato Poots was a good pet name. She…” Sarah snorted, “Wasn’t cuter than you, promise. My, my, favorite tea is Black tea. I used to drink it with my aunts.”

Two minutes. Three minutes. Six.

“Potato Poots? Take that back, that is a wonderful pet name and now I’m going to date this girl that was your first kiss,” Sarah chuckled, “Black tea is a good choice. The closest one to coffee. My brother owns a coffee shop,” Lotte was talking quickly now, “Visit him too. Tell him…I’m sorry. I’m sorry we fought so much, God, for everything.”

“Yes, yes, I mean--”

“Tell all of them I loved them. Dammit, even Karen, tell her to get her shit together. None of this…none of anything else. Nothing else matters.”

Sarah sighed and her entire body was shaking, “I can do that, yes. Lotte, we won’t forget.”

“That I died naked in the void of space?” Lotte returned back after seven minutes, “Because that’s a thing now.”

“Naked, fighting an octopus, right?” Sarah said with her face straining into a smile.

“Yeah.” Lotte was panting on the other end now, but her voice came through. “Who was your first love, Sarah?”

Sarah felt her mouth go dry, she hadn’t drunk anything in hours. Houston would be furious. “I’ve never been in love.” She whispered back, “I just wanted to do…this.” She flinched at the wording.

Lotte took eight minutes to respond, “Yeah?” She said breathlessly, “Well. Do that for me, k? Being in love is nice. It’s like this, except no one is riding into the next layer of Jupiter’s helium.”

Sarah gave a weak smile, “It’s like this?”

“It’s like this.” Wheezing, “Go do that for me.”

“How’re you feeling?” Sarah tried to get her to keep talking and Lotte told her that she threw up again. Sarah could hear audible strained audible breathing through the speaker, she was gasping.

“We weren’t really over the Bahama’s, were we?”

Sarah frowned and she looked toward where the window would be, “It was dark out, yeah. But the cities were bright. Like stars, we always liked stars, right? People like us.”

“People like us collect Ottoman coins and cover their hands in Twinkies Sarah.”

She smiled, “Good. I hear that’s what being in love is like.”

Lotte coughed, a deep gurgling sound that filled the air, “Sounds dumb.”

“It is.”

Sarah could hear her fading out, “Lotte? Lotte how’re you--”

“Fuck, fuck, fuck--” A sob shook the speaker.

“Lotte.”

“FUCK, I don’t want to die.”

“Wait, wait, no, it’s going to be okay.”

“Quick, tell me something nice to say, something good, God, GOD, I wish I had been good. I wish had been better.”

“Wait! Wait, no.”

“Sarah,” She could hear the crying now, the sickly wet tremor in her voice, “Sarah I can’t see anything. It’s so hot, oh my god, I can’t do this, SARAH-”

Sarah screamed back into the mic, “I’m here! I’m here! Wait!”

No sound came back from the other side, Sarah’s eyes went wide, and she counted up to a thousand. She couldn’t feel her teeth.

“One thousand and four, one thousand and five, Lotte? Lotte De Vos, can you hear me?” Five minutes. Ten minutes.

Sarah curled up into herself and pulled on her hair, her other finger still on the transmission button and the room bathed in the one red light, “Lotte," She blared, "Lotte!” It was a wretched, animalistic scream, but it wasn’t for the radio, it wasn’t for her.

She wished she believed in ghosts.

-----------------

Sarah Reyes went back to earth within the fortnight. She told them she wasn't feeling well. She told them about the Argus. They told her to take some time off, she told them she wasn't coming back.

Sarah went to Belgium, she gave a very nice older woman a hug, she got a lifetime’s promise of free coffee, and she looked at painting after painting done by people she realized were now dead. She smiled at the nice young woman across the street that sold flowers and she didn't say hi, but she did wave this time. It was a place to start. Lotte would have wanted something like that.

FIN

Hey! All my hours were cut at my job bc of coronavirus, if you enjoyed my writing please, please consider donating to my Ko-Fi or becoming a patron I could really use the help!

[animated-moon]

Good morning my little lamb! How was your sleep? I hope you have been getting more sleep since you haven’t been for the past week.

*blushes* if you really must know then yes, I do dream about you my moon *turns head away*.

About you though, some birdies on the team have been telling me about how you keep having mental breakdowns. Do you want me to come over? I know that it isn’t a full solution, but since you love me so much I figure I can at least make your day shine my sweets <3.

My day could’ve been better my lovely. Wakatoshi-Kun and Semi semi have caught me practicing when I wasn’t supposed to, and have lectured me for hours. I It wasn’t that bad though! It was only 3 and half hours of extra practice, I would’ve called you but then I would be risking getting you caught as well.

But how are you doing so far Mx.Tendou? Should I send over some chocolate milk to your place? Or just bring to you directly if you want me to come over?

Love you my paradise~

- your husband💜

ah, my sweetest! it’s been a while hasn’t it? i’m so sorry for responding to this much later than i usually do, but i know that you know things haven’t been the easiest lately :,) i’ll explain more at the end of this reply!

yup!! i’m getting more sleep than usual! all thanks to you, my lovely~ <3 oho? it was just a teasing statement, but now i’m curious. what do you dream of me? hmmm?

oh! you DARE go to extra practice WITHOUT ME? forget getting caught, my sun, i’d do practically anything to spend time with you <3 besides, i’ve been playing more volleyball recently (my thighs and arms are SORE :,) and i have bruises on my arm from the stupid balls, but SOON! i’ll be good enough to at least play in the court)

FROM THIS POINT ON IT WILL BE ME RANTING ABOUT MY PROBLEMS AND THERE MAY BE SENSITIVE TOPICS. PLEASE PLEASE DONT READ IF YOURE UNCOMFY. I DONT GUARANTEE ANYTHING

well,, about that. since we ARE wedded, and i’ve been running from my problems, i think it’s time to come clean to this. i’m not exactly doing well anywhere and my mental health has been far from okay. still better than many, though. i should really be grateful for that but i just can’t. anyways <3

also tendou anon: ily. the short version is just: i have insecurities and i am mentally unstable and i am being unnecessarily sad about it 👍👍 followed by me being stupid and having parental issues <3 summed it up in case you didn’t wanna read all t h a t

i’m having a series of small but important exams recently and i can’t say i’m really doing well in school either, so i’ve taken it upon myself to at least work hard and try my best to finish all my schoolwork, get enough sleep and still have time for some more relaxing things, like tumblr. i dont know if you know just how alleviating it is to see people pop into my ask box to chat or to request or just ANYTHING, which is why i really, really love and appreciate you (i’m getting off topic, let me steer back). well, anyway, how should i say this? tumblr has been like my escape from reality, like my paradise. somewhere i can be without having to meet already-made expectations, without having to pretend like everything in my life is fine and without having to simply pretend. lately i’ve been less and less active because of all the personal problems i’m facing, and i do apologize for that, although i know i don’t need to.. i just- gosh i don’t even know where i’m going with this at all.

since i’ve addressed my inactivity, i’ll talk about my mental health. it’s been months since i’ve had any insecurities popping out randomly to taunt me and pick at every single thing i do. since around the start of july, though, everything started falling back onto me. i started realizing and criticizing every little thing i did and myself as a person. recently it’s only gotten worse, and it’s disgusting for myself to doubt some of my closest friends and their friendship with me, but i cant help but think they’re all going to leave me for some newer, more fun and more interesting friend. after all, in reality, i’m just plain old me. i sound so unbothered by everything, i look unapproachable, i’ve even given up on almost every aspect of myself. why would they want someone like me, right? it’s stupid, and i shouldn’t be thinking these thoughts, but i can’t do anything about them. sometimes it feels like i give so much but they never give in return. i pick up their siblings from classes, i take time out of my already packed schedule to help them solve their boy problems, i always try my best to take their feelings into consideration. at least in my point of view, i did nothing wrong? did i? i don’t know why everything’s going wrong and why everyone’s slipping out of my lives when they’ve barely even been there.

tw//suic*de and de*th and starving and really bad parents under this

i’ve been suicidal since a few years back and i only have a single reason to live. that single reason is my one of my two best friends. he’s amazing in every way possible, and i don’t truly know what love is, but if i loved someone, it’d be him. he brought me out of my darkest times when i’d attempted suicide and we made a promise to both live on. we still do talk, but since he’s older and busier, these times just get less and less frequent, and i’m so scared to lose the one thread still tying me to the world.

and, my parents. i think they’re the largest contributing factor to my current situation. lord, i can’t tell you how many times i’ve passed out from exhaustion, being fucking forced to study for exams. how many times that woman has threatened to k*ll me and starve me for the tiniest things ever. in my entire life, no matter what happened to me, she’s never said a genuine sorry to me before. her nonexistent social awareness is almost funny, if it weren’t so fucking annoying. whining and babytalking with my dad all fucking day at max volume as if i weren’t in the house. all that slandering of the lgbtq+ community and being racist, all that shittalking about me as if i can’t hear them at all. all they know is how to be disgusting, manipulative shitheads, thinking theyre the boss of everyone and that they can order me around like im an inanimate object. IM EIGHTEEN, FOR FUCKS SAKE. IVE BEEN TAKING CARE OF MYSELF SINCE 13. LEAVE ME TF ALONE.

i just,, i dont know. fuck them, fuck everyone, fuck everything. i want to just end it all so bad but i know i’d just be more of a burden to everyone like that, or so i’d like to believe.

that is all. that’s the longest i’ve ever ranted in ages, lord. i won’t say i’m fine right now, but i won’t say i’m doing good. i’m just barely hanging in there, and i don’t know what else to say about this.

sorry for the long rant! i have lots more i’m upset about, but i’m not ready to share it with anyone yet, sorry. for anyone who actually read until this part, please just somehow ignore this. thanks