#how the fuck does Elise's dress work

[kinetic-chaos]

Iblis is so back guys

Inspired by one of the memes on this post!

[milky-aeons]

— PRETTY, PRETTY BOY

౨ৎ . . . there was a saying in the port mafia; that amongst their ranks hid an angel in disguise, who, through simple words alone, could make any man bend to her mercy. nobody could really resist her blinding charm. her mafioso boyfriend, of course, was no exemption.

alternatively, you convince CHUUYA NAKAHARA to try on a maid's uniform. You like it a lot more than you thought.

warnings: criminal themes, swearing, female reader, slight manipulation, pet-names, suggestive content, w.c 1.9k

𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐇𝐀𝐃 𝐌𝐄𝐀𝐍𝐓 𝐈𝐓 𝐀𝐒 𝐀 𝐉𝐎𝐊𝐄, at first. For your stout, temperamental mafioso lover was always such a pleasure to tease. He took everything so seriously, in that adorable, flustered way of his. Not many would think that the Chuuya Nakahara was so easy to work up. He commanded soldiers, legions; men were terrified of the underground General who was also a mortal master of gravity. Maybe it was a side to him he kept reserved just for you. That soft, cheeky side. The blush that always heated his ears to the colour of his hair whenever you decided to play with him.

"No fuckin' way."

You stood there in the bedroom you both shared — lavish and expensive, sitting on one of the highest floors of the Port Mafia's headquarters. He had already discarded his coat and hat, was busy scratching the crown of his head when you had put the question to him. Interrupting his yawn mid-way. Chuuya's eyebrows had scrunched, he'd shot you a disbelieving retort — the hell did you just say? Then, he caught sight of what was draped across your bent forearm.

His eyes had flickered from yours, to the dress, to yours, once more. When he asked you to say that again, that he didn't think he had heard you right, he had shut you down with that very blunt denial.

"Please?" You pouted, batting your eyelashes. "It's just a bit of fun. You'd look so adorable, Chuuya!"

"Hah?! No!" Chuuya snapped. He was like an angry kitten, his canines sharp and baring. "The fuck did you even get that thing, anyway?"

"I think Mori ordered the wrong size for Elise-chan," You held up the dress so it draped down, almost the length of your body, but not quite. It just barely sat a size too small. With its narrow set waist and countless little frills, you were, at first, a little disappointed — that such a pretty thing was going to go to waste. And then, the gears in your mind began their mischievous little tune. You looked at Chuuya with wide, imploring eyes. "Are you scared to put on a dress, my love?"

Chuuya scoffed, rolling his eyes. "I'm not scared of anything, baby doll."

"Then put it on."

"Go fuck yourself."

"You're so mean!"

At your wounded tone, the General's shoulders tightened a little. When he stole a glance in your direction, he saw the way your eyebrows drooped over your sad doe eyes, how your full lips formed that pretty little pout. Damn him, he was not considering this shit, there was absolutely no way Chuuya Nakahara was going to fit himself into that ugly piece of cloth just to make you happy. Murder, espionage — sure. For you, he wouldn't even give it a second thought. It would come as natural to him as breathing air.

But this?

He poked his cheek with his tongue. He began angrily tapping his foot against the carpeted floor. Stealing a second glance at the woman he loved, he caught the shadow of disappointment hanging over your head like an ominous raincloud, and felt the last shred of his resistance dissipate into sorry little afterthoughts.

Chuuya let out an extremely exaggerated sigh. Blinking, you glanced at him. He had his head bowed a little and was holding out one open, gloved palm.

"Hand it over."

A little startled all of a sudden, you gawped, making a strange sound. "Huh?"

An impatient growl echoed in the air. Chuuya looked up to glare at you from underneath his fair lashes, his eyes the colour of diamonds, of hard impenetrable sapphires. They narrowed dangerously when you were staring too long at the rose that blushed against his alabaster skin.

"So? Are ya gonna give me the shitty little thing, or not?"

Quickly understanding that he was actually taking you seriously, that he was considering your little charade, you had become too stupefied to do anything else. With hesitant fingers did you hold the maid's dress out to him, which he snatched from your grip in one forceful, swiping movement. You thought you caught the ends of the fuckin' shit I do for this woman, at the tail of it, but you couldn't be totally sure.

Seething, Chuuya balled the garment in his fist and marched off to your on-suite bathroom. He took a little longer than you expected him to — of course, he had never tried on a dress before. Maybe he was having trouble getting past all the ribbons and buttons, ties and zippers.

"Fuck me!" You heard him swear through the door after a few more moments of silence. Tender chuckles rose like bubbles in your chest — he was trying so hard to please you, exposing that soft side you kept under lock and key, only for yourself to indulge.

You lifted your hand to knock softly on the door. "Do you need some help in there?"

A growling blue-streak of profanities. Somehow, becoming more colourful and creative than the last. "How the hell do you women wake up in the morning and do this shit, every day? There's like, a million buttons on this ugly piece of crap!"

Crashing and banging mixed into the collection of sounds that was coming from the small bathroom. Amused, but also a little worried that he'd pull a little too hard on one of the ribbons and fall backwards against the toilet seat, you placed your hand on the golden doorhandle.

"Because us women are just that amazing," You mused, not resisting the urge to goad him. Your voice then dropped into a serious lilt. "Really, it's okay, Chuuya — you don't have to—"

That was when you felt it — the cool, insistent press of gravity, the humming in the air that told you your lover had activated his fearful technique. Your eyes shot down to where it was coming from, and to your immediate surprise, you saw the soft glow of crimson enveloped around the handle you were trying to unlatch — holding it securely in place.

"No. I said I'd fuckin' do it, didn't I?" Chuuya remarked through the wood. "So I will. Go wait over at the bed."

Prideful, stubborn man, you thought, rolling your eyes at his defensive tone, oh, how you loved him. "Okay." You sang sweetly, then stepped away from the bathroom door so as to sashay over to your expansive king size. You barely had a chance to set yourself down on the satin sheets when — bang!

The on-suite door had been thrown off of its hinges and cracked against the neighbouring wall with the force he put behind it. And standing there in the doorway in all his blood-boiling, skin-heating, frill-covered glory, was that very General who instilled terror to even the most seasoned of underground criminals. The long black dress that stopped just at his ankles and puffed at the shoulders threw his wild fiery hair into focus. The frilly white apron hanging loosely at his narrow waist contested with the bright red flush creeping up his neck.

You must have been staring at him for a little too long, because Chuuya snarled. "You happy now? I look damn ridiculous."

You didn't laugh. Nor did you tease him, as always, but you rose slowly up off of the bed and began to walk over to him. Stalk him, quietly, your expression a smooth, unreadable slate. The extreme lack of a reaction from you was making Chuuya's eyebrows knit, his lips softening from snarl to frown.

"O-Oi?"

When you reached him, you shot out to grab the little lapels of the dress that collared his long neck and tugged him down. So that he came just eye level with your own darker, smouldering ones. Oh, you were going to pounce on him. Packaged up in that pretty little parcel for you, you were going to devour him where he stood.

You smiled, leaning in, and whispered, "Told you you'd look absolutely adorable, my pretty, pretty boy."

requested by the lovely [ @ringsofsaturnnnn! ]

[paigemathews]

Okay, so I finished episode eight (Bug a Boo) and thoughts (actually tracked through the episode this time):

my sister said that Jada gives off Bianca energy and I vibe with it. she also is questioning my sexuality bc I said Jada was hot, which. mostly bc I wanna look like her tbh, one of my ideal style categories is "witch" sooo. But also Jada really is just cool as hell, I like her.

this whole dating app plot would be great for a Cupid girl, tbh. Like there are a couple of plot points or episodes that'd been great for a next gen kid, but I think that one of the Cupid-witches getting a plot with a dating app would be really cute.

Maggie and Parker have been dating for like. five minutes. why the fuck are they talking about spending the summer together?? y'all don't even know if you'll still be together, what the fuck

Hunter sticking up for Parker thoooo. I'll be honest, demon bros relationship is actually really adorable and funny. It's definitely a highlight of the episode.

Why are they two different kinds of demon though?? Hunter is a shapeshifter and Parker is a shadow demon, like. Their dad doesn't seem to be either kind either, how do demonic genetics work

👀 okay but Julia and Macy's relationships possibly paralleling Elise and Phoebe's relationship in the original? Older female boss takes on a slightly more maternal role to the witch who never had her mom?

Their powers are already really fricking strong, idk how they're supposed to advance when it seems so easy for them already

The argument between Charity and Mel about helping in mortal affairs seems very similar to the discussion Paige and Henry had in s8 of the original, but uhhh Mel is dumb (shocker) and fundamentally misunderstands what the Elders and the S'Arcana told her. No one told her to just stand by and do nothing when bad things are happening right in front of her, even using her magic to do it. (I mean, the original sisters never just let bad things happen in front of them bc they didn't want to use their powers.) The difference is that the S'Arcana want to go out of their way to aid in mortal affairs that aren't directly happening in front of them, aka a proactive and direct role, while the Elders want to stick to magical affairs. Mel manages to fundamentally misunderstand both groups, bc she is dumb.

Oh, God, I hate that bug demon, it's fucking horrifying.

Why are all of the Elders dressed in white? (I get the no faces thing, but uhhh, that definitely hits nightmare fuel for me.) It's kinda. on the nose, man, bc at least the og Elders were all wearing the same type of robes so it was more of a uniform. This just feels cultish.

Why does Macy like Galvin? Babe, you can do so much better, this man is boring af.

lmao, Mel got smacked with a board bc she just. wandered in like a dumbass

lmao, Galvin just got fucking hit by a car, I hate this miscommunication trope but it's kinda funny bc of how random it is. (Also shoutout to my original note being that he got hit by a cat.)

[pegasusknightsonly]

forrest paralogue

ive been absently ruminating on the ways newfe handles gender and sexuality (spoiler: its not good) because i knew that i was going to have to reckon with the Forrest thing at some point but oh my god that paralogue was so bad. so bad

[side note: i will be using both homophobia and transphobia to describe the specificities of how Leo behaves, mostly because i'm not sure which intsys intended - Forrest is gnc but the game would have us believe that he's doing this in a straight and cisgender honouring way {???} and Forrest does face threats of sexual violence from men. AFAIK the Japanese cultural norms that the original writers live within tend to lump trans women and gay men into the same category, and i don't think it would be particularly productive to tease apart the more homophobic lines from the more transphobic ones. so when i use one i probably mean both and am just being lazy]

like it's deeply uncomfortable from the get go but i can't understand why treehouse made the choices they did. Leo's disgust reads as homophobic: Forrest is something to be ashamed of, he hides Forrest from his family, Forrest is doing things Leo has tried to prevent him from doing - i, you know what, i'm just going to paste this from the script

Leo: You’re a disgrace. Forrest: Oh? Excuse me? Since when is saving lives considered a disgrace? Leo: You know what I mean, Forrest. You! The way you dress. I’ve told you before... Forrest: But... never so cruelly! Why are you being so hateful? In front of Aunt Elise too! Elise: Leo! What’s wrong with you?! Embrace our lovely Forrest! Leo: No—and hold your tongue, Elise. This isn’t your business. Forrest: I’m sorry... Sorry that I ever left my Deeprealm! I’ll go back where I’m appreciated.

it's exhausting, i guess, that there aren't any meaningfully gay characters in fates (Rhajat is explicitly an expy for the Tharja fans; Niles' flirting is consistently portrayed as unserious and unwanted and insincere and his possible S support with Corrin is deliberately worse than S supporting him to anyone else) but thank god the players still know that homophobia exists! thank god treehouse decided to present this with plausible deniability; obviously to anyone with half a brain Leo is being bigoted* but Forrest is, mechanically, a straight cis male, so you get all the fun of being reminded that you are an embarrassing aberration without having to reckon with any of that icky LGBT stuff! what a fucking decision!!

treehouse could've done anything. treehouse are given pretty significant liberty to modify fe games for western audiences, from renaming characters and places to rewriting the script wholesale. and they chose to have Leo, who is blunt and cold but not cruel, be homophobic to his son in public

[his son is then sexually menaced and left powerless, just in case you were wondering how deliberate the transfem coding of Forrest is]

and their resolution is dogshit. absolute dogshit

Leo does not address the cause of his behaviour towards Forrest (because that would imply that Forrest is gay, or trans, and that's why Leo behaved the way he did. that's not allowed) and instead limply says he knows he can be rude. why are you telling your son this? why are you telling him this after he nearly died because you publically rejected him? Leo wasn't blunt to Forrest! Leo was a fucking dick for no coherent reason because Forrest isn't allowed to be lgbt!!

they kind of reconcile, because apparently Forrest proved himself a hero offscreen. would've been great to see this worked in mechanically like it is in Dwyer's paralogue but of course it's more important to stress that Forrest IS subject to sexual violence. awesome. oh, and their eventual reconciliation is driven by Elise, who has been nothing but hype for Forrest since the moment they met

Forrest: Oh? Well, Father, I know it must agonize you to say something nice to me. I’ll take your words with me as a keepsake too. Leo: I’m sorry. I truly am. I must seem like a stone-hearted father to you. You’re right to say I’m not worthy. That Elise was able to see you as a person of sterling qualities... While I couldn’t? I’m, er, I’m a better person than this. So I like to think.

if you take fates at its word here Leo not only invents homophobia and transphobia just to upset his son, he also completely cures himself of it after, um, fighting a bunch of bandits while his son is locked in an inaccessible room...? and seeing that his sister is cool with gnc people......? but specifically in a way where the root of Leo's issues with his son cannot be specifically named. i feel ape mode coming on

like why does this happen. why does it happen to Leo and Leo's son. treehouse could've done anything. they could've had Leo fail to recognise Forrest, or express mild surprise at how his appearance has changed. they could've brought up Leo's own feelings of inadequacy around his older siblings, and his projection of that onto his son. why did Leo have to be explicitly homophobic!

why did treehouse decide to remind me that homophobia exists but they wouldn't even let Soleil be gay

why did treehouse decide to remind me that transphobia exists but they wouldn't even let Forrest be a girl

why did treehouse decide to remind that homophobia exists after the fucking Kjelle/Severa harvest scramble conversation, where Kjelle is portrayed as a predatory lesbian on the verge of sexually assaulting Severa who of course is disgusted by the thought!!!!!! i got the message!!!!!!!!!!

bad. it's bad

*its not just unpleasant in context its also completely unexpected. Leo speaks to Odin [a man he has repeatedly tried to have killed just because Leo finds him really annoying and Leo tells him he resents being given responsibility for Odin because Odin is a clown] WAY more respectfully than he speaks to his son. he speaks to enemies way more respectfully than he speaks to his son. all you get for the paralogue preamble is "Leo doesn't seem excited to visit his son" so you are absolutely blindsided by fucking homophobia!! if i hadn't known better i wouldve thought he was a bit cringe like Leo's beloved wife !!!!!!!!!!!!!! he couldve just been a bit cringe like Leo's beloved wife !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[cellythefloshie]

No amount of words that I could write here will be able to capture the appreciation that I have. Thank you so much Nicole for taking the time to write this for me! You can tell just how much effort you put into the creation of every scene, every character, the playlist and the story you wanted to tell. It was beautifully written all the way from the pining and the spicy scenes to the angst and the heartache. I feel absolutely spoiled to have received this from you this summer. I will reread it often and enjoy it every damn time (I saw as I’ve read it two times since I got home from work) - And that playlist that is absolutely perfect? Consider that on repeat or the foreseeable future. Thanks so much hun! Warning: Spoilers ahead as I “live-blog” the read.

I almost screamed when this popped up in my notifications today. I am not kidding you when I say that I’ve been listening to the playlist you made for this fic on repeat since you posted it. I am just breathing in the vibes. I AM READY.

Absolutely LOVE her name - and nickname Jules. It is one of my absolute favorites. 

The meeting at the grocery store is perfection

It’s like a meet cute with the twist of already knowing each other

And the tension of the interaction is so real and relatable

Instantly falling in love with Jules and her friendship with Adam

I’m absolutely dying over here in all the best ways

I love how you took the time for her to really process her thoughts and feelings going into the party instead of jumping right to it!

So. Fucking. Relatable. 

Elise and Evan are amazing. 

Love a good side-character. 

You have no idea how any laughs I had to hold back with Evan

“It’s like he’s the next coming of Christ.”

I fucking love him. 

We live for the denial

“That was just because someone heard if you mixed blue raspberry vodka with Mountain Dew of all things, it would taste like a Baja Blast.”... okay, but does it though? I will go get this right now LOL

Waking up next to you made it better. Jules and I are just going to be hung up on this forever. 

The subtle flirting is going to kill me 

Like he’s hiding something. I’m ready for the pain. 

AND I’m dead. 

the possessive switch has gone off in Adam and I’m just going to be a corpse by the end of this fic.

Dress is one of my favorite Swift songs, so to see the nod in this bathroom scene - I’m screaming

THIS

IS

SO 

HOT

The banter about speeding back to her place is absolute GOLD

She’s so damn happy

Until she isn’t

For fuck sake Adam

Loving every minute of it though

ESPECIALLY when she decides that they can have their affair

The way you write her guilt - and the avoidance of her guilt IS SO GOOD

I’m sensing more Swift nods!

“only giving into the rising temptation in the backseat of Adam’s car parked in a secluded spot by the lakeshore after all their friends had left.” HOT

OMG

Betty

Bitch what you doing

I love this

How is our girl Juliette not emptying her stomach right now

because I would be

Adam introducing them is like the absolute most gut wrenching feeling I’ve felt while reading in a long time

I’m dying over here

The sibling dynamic between Elise and Evan is perfect

Our poor girl!

This dream sequence is very well done! You went about including it so perfecting

It didn’t interrupt the flow of the story as most dream sequences seem to

And you can feel it slowly fade from a dream into her own personal nightmare

Also loving the brunette vs blonde dichotomy 

Either way I know the truth is going to hurt and I love it

I love how hopeful - and relentless she is with her love for Adam

She has waited so long for her moment

For when she finally got Adam

That he was hers and she his

It’s almost like a little villain arc and I love it

HE DIDN’T BREAK UP WITH BETTY? 

I am reeling

The drama and angst of this all

It’s just SO GOOD

If he couldn’t do it then, he never will Jules baby

She’s using his words FUCK I love it

“You can’t have both of us, Adam. If you want me the way you’ve said that you want me, then you have to choose me. Because I can’t do this with you anymore.” This is giving me such Meredith Grey Pick Me. Choose Me. Love Me. vibes (and I haven’t even watched Greys) and I love it

I AM LIVING FOR THIS ANGST

The loss of everything she never really had to begin with. THIS. THIS IS SO POWERFUL. 

OH the depression hit out girlie HARD

Jules is so wonderfully flawed

Her jealousy, her relentlessness, her desire to love and be loved - by Adam - you did such a great job developing her depth

AND HER FRIENDS. Like they couldn’t be any better. 

This last passage of that scene was so fucking poetic

Her realization that he wasn’t the teenager she grew up with any more

The acceptance it’s so pure and needed for her healing

OH SHIT ADAM SHOWED UP!?

AFTER 2 MONTHS!?

Girl you just spent 2 months healing, don’t let him in - but actually let him in

“I’m going to break up with Betty” - chokes - you mean you showed up here, 2 months later, having not broken up with her yet? THE BALLS ON THIS MAN

Excuse me while I channel Elise and throw something because I know that’s what she would be doing if she was there. She would so be putting a stop to all of this. 

Don’t go making promises Adam, she’s still got to take you back

You tell ‘im Jules!

I know a lot of people might not be satisfied with this ending

that they are believers in needing a happily ever after in the romance genre

but I fucking love this ending

you really see how much Jules has grown since he left

the she knows the Adam in front of her isn’t the one she loved

and that he will never be because of what he did with her that summer

you can feel her strength and her will

and you write it so damn well

so powerfully

breakable heaven

summary: when Juliette Lucas wakes up wrapped in the arms of Adam Lowry - the man that she had pined after for years - she should feel content. but instead, she feels guilty. she didn’t mean for any of this to happen. she never planned on becoming the other woman. but when it feels this good, how could it possibly be wrong?

playlist word count: 17.5k warnings: cheating fic, smut (explicit in the beginning, multiple vague references throughout), angst, bittersweet ending

written for @wyattjohnston's Summer Fic Exchange. to Celly (@cellythefloshie) with love.

Am I foolish for wanting this? It will end in flames, it always does. Maybe I like the way it feels to burn.

*~*~*~*~*

“Jules?”

Juliette Lucas can’t help but stiffen at the sound of the nickname. Not because of any traumatic memory or something of the sort. Unless you count the fact that the only person who ever called her that – her best friend from high school – left almost eight years ago without a word.

The person whose voice she could still hear in her sleep.

The same voice that was calling out to her from across the grocery store right now.

“Hey, Jules!”

She turns, muscles still tight with anticipation over seeing his face again. And there he is, Adam Lowry, jogging up to her from the other end of the breakfast aisle.

And, fuck, he looks hot. He was always attractive, even in high school but damn, the years had definitely been kind to him. Even in his simple joggers, plain navy t-shirt, and baseball cap, Juliette could see the muscle tone of his body. And the shadow cast across his face simply emphasized everything else: his strong jaw, the deep red of his facial hair, the bright blue of his eyes that were sparkling as he ran up to her.

“I look like shit right now.”

That irrational thought is the first clear present statement that echoes through her brain as she takes a quick glance down at her sweatpants and old tank top.

There is little time to worry however, because before Juliette knows it, Adam is front of her and the wind of his momentum ruffles her hair.

“Hey,” he says breathlessly, smiling down at her. “Long time no see.”

“That tends to happen when you move away to a different province,” she replies, trying not to give her words a cutting edge. Although, Juliette can see that she wasn’t entirely successful based on the subtle way Adam’s face falls.

“Yeah, I’ve been meaning to visit but, y’know, life,” he attempts to explain, his hand reaching back to scratch the back of his neck. Juliette can’t stop the small smile that tugs at the corner of her lips, his nervous ticks the exact same ones he had back in high school.

A lot of things might have changed. But that didn’t mean the person standing in front of her was a stranger. It was Adam. Her Adam.

“It’s alright, I get it,” she replies, her voice softening. “Anyway, you’re here now. What brings you back to Calgary?”

“My dad was finally able to convince me to come up, mostly to see all the finished renovations they made on the lake house. And it looks really good. Although, I almost don’t recognize it which is weird considering all the summers we spent there, growing up.”

“Life moves on around you, whether you like it to or not,” Juliette laughs, knowing the feeling of time passing her by all too well.

“Speaking of life, how have you been Jules?”

“Oh, I’ve been alright. Nothing super new or exciting. Work is work, life is life. Same old, same old I’m afraid.”

“Well, considering the last time I really talked to you was eight years ago at graduation, I highly doubt everything is the same,” Adam teases and Juliette’s eyes roll at his jab.

“You know what I mean.”

“Yeah, I know.”

There is a small pause as the two of them simply look at each other. It had been years and that time seemed to stretch in between them like and ocean. One too expansive to cross right now, here, in the middle of a grocery store.

“Well,” Juliette says, being the first to break the silence, “I got to finish shopping. Need to get home and get ready a party later tonight.”

“Charleen’s party, right?” Adam asks. The statement sort of catches Juliette off-guard as she fixes Adam a puzzled glance.

“Yeah. How’d you know?”

“She invited me too.”

“You still talk to Charlie?”

“More like my parents still talk to her. She helped them with the renovation.”

“Right, her interior design business,” Juliette nods.

“Yeah, she was visiting today, going over a few last-minute details with my parents when I arrived and she invited me.”

“Cool. Well then, I guess I’ll see you there?”

Adam replies with a small nod which Juliette returns, grabbing her cart. She starts to turn away before Adam’s voice calls out to her again.

“Hey, Jules.”

She turns her head to look back at Adam and the pang in her heart is sharp and sudden as she takes in that smile, the one that shot her back to nights on her parent’s couch, his laugh echoing around the family room at whatever ridiculous movie he convinced her to watch.

“It was really good to see you again.” 

Juliette just returns his smile before turning away, hating the feeling of heat that crawls up her neck. She attempts to smother the thoughts and emotions that had been lying dormant, just long enough to finish her shopping.

After checking the last things off her list, paying, and packing up her Jeep, Juliette starts her drive home. And as the scenery passes her by, the memories come flooding back as fast as the wind.

He was back. Adam was back, after all these years. And his presence had awakened the feelings that Juliette thought she had banished long ago. It was beyond cliché, falling for her high school best friend. But in her defense, she never expected to. There was just one day when she realized that she wanted him as more than just a best friend.

Unfortunately, that realization came too late, arriving right before Adam was about to leave for Winnipeg to start his professional hockey career. She should have told him then, before he was gone. But she didn’t, out of fear of ruining their friendship and losing her best friend to something worse than distance. Something that couldn’t be recovered from.

But… she lost him anyway.

Juliette sighs, snapping herself out of her reverie as she pulls into her apartment complex. Her mind is still filled with static on the elevator ride up and the static remains as she puts her groceries away and starts to get ready for Charleen’s party.

After a quick shower and some makeup, Juliette finds herself standing in front of her closet, flipping through her clothes, attempting to find a suitable outfit for the festivities. It shouldn’t be this hard; it usually isn’t this difficult. But Juliette would be lying if she pretended not to know why she was struggling. It was Adam, once again.

She wanted to look nice. Nicer than just nice. She wanted to look beautiful, gorgeous, eye-catching, stunning. She wanted Adam to see how she had changed. She wanted Adam to want to talk to her.

Or, simply, she wanted Adam to want to want her.

When her hand lands on a dress buried in the depths of her closet, one that she had almost forgotten about and yet was everything she could’ve asked for, she slipped it on over her head.

“This is a shit idea.”

That’s the thought repeating in Juliette’s head as she turns, checking out her reflection in the full-length mirror next to her closet, head spinning with the implications of what she was planning.

“Listen,” Juliette thinks, attempting to assuage the nagging voice in the back of her mind. “It’s just a dress. That’s all. I just want to look good for this party. No other reason.”

That was a blatant lie. This tight red summer dress hugging her frame was for one reason – or more accurately, one person.

After seeing him again, knowing that he was once again back in Calgary, back in her life and she felt just as strongly about him as she did in high school… well, how could anyone pass up the opportunity?

So, yeah, maybe she should wear the sexiest dress she could to the party at Charleen’s lake house. Maybe then her and Adam could stop tiptoeing on this fucking tightrope or at least, she’d know if Adam felt the same way about her that she did.

And, hey, if that didn’t happen and he left for Winnipeg at the end of summer … at least she looks hot.

A sigh escapes Juliette as she gently shakes her head, her mind once again reiterating how stupid of an idea this was. But she is nothing if not committed – even to her most ridiculous ideas. So, with another sigh, she grabs her white denim jacket and car keys and leaves the apartment.

The drive to Charleen’s is quick and even though Juliette isn’t ridiculously late, cars are already lining the street outside. She manages to find a spot off to the side of the house and hops out of her Jeep, her eyes flicking over the other vehicles, wondering which one is Adam’s.

If he’s even here yet.

There’s another quick shake of her head, another silent admonishment about how desperate she was acting, before she walks up to the front door, not bothering to knock, knowing Charlie would have left it unlocked for the guests.

As soon as the door swings open, Juliette is welcomed in with the sound of music being played over speakers and the chatter of other people. She slips into the house, kicking off her shoes by the front door before wandering deeper until she is on the edge of the living room, looking out at the scene of multiple friends and acquaintances, all laughing and drinking.

“Julie!!”

The screech of joy comes from Elsie, who bounces over to Juliette sweeping her into a hug, her own long blonde hair tickling Juliette’s shoulders. Juliette laughs as she is spun around by the sheer force of Elsie’s hug.

“I’m so glad you made it!” Elsie continues shouting, drawing the attention of a few people around them.

“Hi, Elsie,” Juliette giggles into her friends embrace, finally pulling away and meeting her bright gaze. “It’s good to see you too.”

“A drink! You need a drink!” Elsie says, mind going a mile a minute as it always did, grabbing Juliette’s hand and drags her to the adjoining kitchen. “Charlie stocked everything but people have also brought their own drinks so there’s plenty to go around.”

Elsie’s words are confirmed as soon as the two of them enter the kitchen, Juliette’s eyes almost bugging out of her head at the various alcohol cans and bottles lining in the kitchen island.

“There’s also a keg outside.”

“Oh, god, how long until someone does a keg stand?” Juliette playfully grimaces, turning to Elsie who shares her laughter.

“Corey already tried to convince some people to do one but thankfully, we aren’t at that point yet. I think we are trying to keep it somewhat classy.”

“Oh yeah, a bunch of twenty-somethings in a cabin with a ton of alcohol is definitely how we keep it classy.”

“Okay, the important word in that sentence was trying,” Elsie laughs. Juliette just responds with a shake of her head before grabbing a vodka seltzer and following Elsie back into the living room.

For the next hour or so, Juliette spends her time greeting and catching up with old friends as well as being introduced to some people that she didn’t know; mostly new romantic partners but some friends of friends. It seemed as if Charleen managed to cram almost all of their old homeroom into her lake house and everyone invited brought at least two other people with them.

Eventually, Juliette settled down on one of the couches, talking to Elsie’s twin brother Evan. It is in the middle of their conversation with when she hears a commotion. And when she turns her eyes towards the noise, she sees Adam walking into the room, the grin on his face and a six pack of beer in each hand, a bunch of people cheering around him.

She can’t help the roll of her eyes and the shake of her head at his entrance.

“It’s like he’s the next coming of Christ,” Evan jokes to her, reading her reaction.

“The local celebrity graces us with his presence,” Juliette quips back, causing a laugh to fall from the blond. Although, even with her snarky words, Juliette can’t stop her eyes from jumping back to Adam as he wanders back into the room, a single beer in his hand and the plain white t-shirt highlighting the warmth of his skin and the strength of his body.

“Have you talked to him?” Evan asks, pulling her attention back to him.

“We actually ran into each other earlier today, at the grocery store of all places.”

“And how was that?”

“What do you mean?” Juliette asks, her eyebrows furrowing at Evan’s question.

“Come on, Julie. You two were practically attached at the hip in high school. He came over to our house with you almost as many times as you did alone.”

“Yeah, but that was years ago. He’s off doing bigger and better things. Probably doesn’t think about me that much anymore.”

“Did you recognize him earlier today at the store or did he recognize you?”

“He did…” she replies, the words trailing off as she tries to uncover Evan’s meaning.

“So, he recognized you after almost eight years. That’s a long time, Julie. Plus, judging by the way his eyes have been attached to you since he walked in, I think it’s safe to say he remembers you well enough.”

“What?”

Juliette’s head spins towards Adam and is immediately met with his blue eyes locked on her frame. Eventually, their eyes connect and Juliette watches as a smile breaks out on Adam’s face as he tips his beer towards her in a silent greeting.

Juliette lifts her hand up in a small wave and as soon as the motion happens, her hand flies back down and she tears her gaze away, only to be greeted with Evan’s smug face.

“Shut up,” she mutters, taking another drink of her seltzer, the skin on the back of her neck heating up at Evan’s laugh.

“My god, you still have a crush on him,” Evan says. “Oh, this is hilarious.”

“Shut up Evan.”

“Nah, this is great. Eight years and you’re still pining over him.”

“I am not pining over him.”

“It’s okay, I get it. He was pretty hot back then and he’s only gotten hotter with age. Fine wine and all that nonsense.”

The look that Juliette shoots Evan is one of bemusement as Evan glances over towards Adam before jumping back to her.

“What? I’m gay as shit, remember? Besides, even if I wasn’t, I’ve got eyes.”

“Well, then, why don’t you go and talk to him.”

“Not my type,” Evan replies dismissively causing another snorting laugh to fall from her mouth. When she looks back up to Evan, the expression on his face is still teasing but Juliette recognizes the sincerity underneath his features. “Just go and talk to him, Julie. Even if it’s just as an old friend.”

Evan’s advice bounces around her skull, the proposition sounding so easy and so effortless. But perhaps it was that simple. Maybe Juliette was the one making everything more complicated than it had to be, adding to much weight to a moment that would end up being inconsequential.

For what seemed like the hundredth time that evening, a heavy sigh escapes Juliette as she glances back towards Adam, whose attention was now directed to Marina and her new fiancé. She looks back at Evan, sitting patiently to see her next move.

“You’re like an annoying younger brother, you know that?” Juliette says, the playful tone lightening the blunt words.

“I’m technically older than you.”

“Yeah, yeah, technically,” Juliette says, lifting herself up off the couch, stretching her arms over her head.

“Go get him, tiger,” Evan quips, to which she replies with a quick middle finger thrown over her shoulder, an action which elicits another cackle from Evan as she walks away.

As she wanders into the kitchen, Juliette’s eyes scan over the assortment of alcohol laid out over the counters. The smart thing to do would be to grab another seltzer and nurse that for as long as possible. But she promised Evan that she would talk to Adam and if there was one thing she knew about Evan, he would continue to nag her until she did.

But considering the fluttering of her heart at the mere thought of holding a conversation with the man she still harbored feelings for, she knew she was going to need a stronger drink to help loosen her inhibitions at least a little bit. Just so she wouldn’t embarrass herself.

Although, drunk Juliette could be an embarrassment all on her own. It was a calculate risk.

One that, after a minute of thinking, Juliette decides to take. She grabs some random mixer and pours it into one of the cheap plastic cups that were stacked nearby. She is halfway through adding the vodka when, for the second time that day, Adam’s voice sounds from behind her.

“Do you remember that time your parents let us make our own drinks?”

The smile that comes to Juliette’s face is automatic as she continues to focus on her current task, replying without looking back.

“During the Labour Day barbeque? Of course.”

“I think they ended up regretting that idea later,” Adam says, the edge of his words painted with a breathy chuckle. Juliette also giggles, grabbing her drink before turning to see Adam standing on the other end of the island.

“That was just because someone heard if you mixed blue raspberry vodka with Mountain Dew of all things, it would taste like a Baja Blast.”

“Well, I mean, it did.”

“Yeah, and that was the problem!” Juliette laughs, shaking her head slightly at the still blurry memories of her and Adam acting like complete fools. “I still don’t remember how many of those we managed to drink before falling asleep on the couch in the basement.”

“It sure was a night,” Adam sighs, his eyes darting away, looking down at the half-eaten plates of snacks that Charleen had laid out earlier.

Juliette watches as he reaches out to take a carrot, trying not to get distracted by how elegant his fingers looked. Her attempt was quickly derailed as it took Adam clearing his throat to get her eyes to snap back to his. She has to push away the blush that she feels rising, hiding her face behind her cup as she takes another sip of alcohol.

Juliette half expects Adam to call her out on it, never one to pass up an opportunity to tease her. But he doesn’t. Instead, he once again shoots her that gentle smile and Juliette stops herself from taking another drink to quiet the pounding of her heart.

“What do you remember about the morning after?” Adam asks. His question causes another sigh of laughter to fall, his return to normal conversation giving her some relief.

“That I couldn’t eat for like a full 8 hours. As far as hangovers go, I never want to experience that again.”

“It wasn’t that bad.”

“Oh, I’m sorry we don’t all have the tolerance of a professional athlete.”

“Hey, I wasn’t professional back then,” he retorts.

“Still an athlete,” Juliette sing-songs into her cup, the action making Adam chuckle and shake his head.  

“Fine, I’ll give you that.”

There’s another small pause and Juliette takes the chance to think over Adam’s words. The conversation had been pretty normal, reminiscing over the past as friends would, specifically a memory that was similar to the current situation. But there was one aspect of it that nagged at the back of her mind – a loose thread of sorts. And Juliette decides to tug at it.

“So, did you not wake up still drunk the morning after that Labour Day?”

“I mean, I was definitely hungover. But, uh, waking up the morning after with you curled up next to me… it made the splitting headache a little better.”

It takes a minute for Adam’s confession to register but when they finally do, Juliette has to smother the immediate surprise that his words bring.

Waking up next to you made it better.

The words spin around in Juliette’s head, burrowing into every crevice of her brain and stoking the flames of that every present spark of hope that was still burning after all this time.

Waking up next to you made it better.

The critical voice in her head chooses to speak up, telling Juliette that he didn’t confess to anything. Waking up with a hangover alone, or even with a complete stranger, would absolutely be worse than waking up to a friend.

“Shouldn’t have been that life-changing,” Juliette forces herself to say, attempting to brush off his words and pretending that they didn’t affect her as much as they did. “We’ve slept in the same bed before.”

“I know,” Adam replies, his own voice non-committal, his eyes once again falling away from her.

Another silence falls but this time, there is a tension with it. One that is suffocating and Juliette hates the feeling of it. Hates how it hangs. But she isn’t sure how to fix it. So, she does the one thing that she knows how to do.

Leave. Before things take a turn for the worse.

“Um,” she begins, calling Adam’s attention to her again and her words stick in her throat for a moment at the way his blue eyes pierce into hers. “I better be getting back. Evan was just about to tell me about his most recent terrible blind date.”

“Okay,” Adam replies. His eyes stay glued to Juliette’s body as she starts to walk towards the kitchen exit. “Talk to you later?”

“Of course,” Juliette hums, almost at the threshold to re-enter the living room. She is about to exit when Adam’s voice once again stops her.

“Hey, Jules?”

The nickname makes her turn back to look at Adam and a small trill is sent down her spine as she watched Adam’s gaze shamelessly rake up and down her body before their eyes lock again.

“You look really… pretty, by the way.”

“Thanks,” Juliette says, the compliment warming her from the inside. “You don’t look half-bad yourself,” she returns. A deep chuckle rumbles from Adam’s chest as he shakes his head, a move that was familiar to her; it was the response she always provoked from him whenever she did something amusing or embarrassing. Or both.

Juliette hightails it away from the kitchen, internally cringing at her awkward words before taking another hearty drink from her now half-empty glass.

If the night was going to continue like this, she was definitely going to be refilling her cup multiple times before the party was over. She spies Evan still on the couch, now talking to Thomas and Kristy. She darts over before sitting down next to him, listening to their conversation, both in order to calm her spinning mind and to join in.

It’s only a few seconds until there is a small lull in the conversation and that is when Evan shoots her a glance, one eyebrow raised in a silent question that Juliette doesn’t need him to voice to understand.

“Don’t even ask,” she mutters into her cup. Evan just gently bumps his shoulder against hers in reply and that casual ease is what finally allows her to relax, focusing on the talk around her and reorienting herself to the party that was filled with her friends.

As the party continues into the night, it slowly dwindles down. People take off, heading back to their own homes and families. The later it gets, the more the party shifts, from its previous riot to a more relaxed get-together. Eventually, Juliette finds herself lingering with the remaining guests, all of them huddled around the firepit constructed on the sandy lakeshore out back.

Juliette takes another sip from her cup now filled with water as she relaxes, listening to the chatter of those around her, breathing in the fresh air of the pines and feeling the cool sand beneath her bare feet.

She is so focused on the present moment that she doesn’t even notice Adam’s approach, didn’t see the way his eyes softened at the sight of her. The sound of him clearing his throat causes Juliette’s eyes to fly open, meeting his gaze in the low firelight.

“Is this seat taken?” Adam asks, gesturing to the empty expanse of the wooden log she was perched on.

“Not at all,” comes her easy reply, scooting over to allow Adam enough room to sit down. And Juliette cannot suppress the shiver that runs through her when Adam’s knee knocks against hers.

They sit there is silence for a moment, just the crackling of fire and the chit-chat of the people around them being the only noise in the night until Juliette breaks the silence.

“So, I hear you got a dog?”

“Yeah, Banks. He’s a golden retriever.”

Adam continues to talk about his new puppy, even going to show Juliette videos of Banks and his adorable retriever smile. The icebreaker leads them to finally take the time to catch up on their respective lives; careers, pets – or lack thereof in Juliette’s case, homes, and all the rest. Almost every detail, from the menial to the major.

Throughout the conversation, Juliette notices a few pauses in Adam’s speech; that he sometimes takes more time to tell her things that don’t seem complicated. Like he’s hiding something. Like he doesn’t want her to see all of him.

She hates it. Because even though there was still a small flame of attraction for Adam, she would be fine with just having her best friend back – the one that was never afraid to tell her exactly how he felt.

Which is what leads her to press a little further.

“So, life’s been good in Winnipeg?” she asks, leaning closer to Adam to really hear his answer

“Yeah. I mean, haven’t gotten everything I wanted yet but it’s still pretty good,” he replies, shooting her a small smile. She doesn’t have time to pry more before Adam deflects the conversation back to her. “How about you?”

“Eh, still figuring things out. But I have plenty of time to decide where I want my life to go.”

“You were always really good at that; just letting things happen naturally.”

“I wouldn’t say that,” Juliette laughs, shaking her head lightly. “I think I’m just really good at disguising my true emotions which makes it seem like I’m easy-going.”

“Really? How so?”

“Oh, I don’t know. Like… relationships or dating for example. It’s easy for me to flirt with people I’m not really interested in. It’s easy because I know I’m never going to let them get too close to me. I don’t have to try so hard to be the girl they want me to be because… I was never planning on being their girl anyway,” she explains, the lingering alcohol in her veins loosening her tongue. She looks at Adam, watching as her words sink in, his brow furrowing.

“Was that true back in high school?” Adam asks. “Like, when you were dating Pierce, you weren’t actually interested in him?”

A small shocked movement goes through Juliette, surprised that Adam even remembered the guy she dated back then. She doesn’t linger on the knowledge that Adam didn’t seem to forget, even after eight years, choosing instead to shrug her shoulders before replying.

“He wasn’t looking for anything serious. And it was nice to have someone.”

Juliette doesn’t tell him that back then, Pierce offered her more than just a warm bed. He was also a placeholder, someone to help her suppress her feelings towards Adam. In a way, she had been disguising herself for years.

Her eyes jump back to Adam, who is staring into the fire pit, seemingly deep in thought. Juliette waits for him to speak, even though every second that passes feels like torture and the anxiety starts to gnaw at the frayed edges of her mind. Eventually, Adam looks back at her and there it is – that pang in her heart.

Because he’s looking at her with those soft eyes. An expression that she had seen only occasionally back when they were kids. An expression she never thought she’d see again.

“You know you don’t have to try with me, right?”

Juliette hears the words but they don’t fully register, don’t fully connect at first. She lets out a somewhat dismissive laugh, nudging Adam’s thigh with her knee.

“Yeah, that’s why we’re friends,” she giggles, glancing away as she takes another sip of water. There’s another small pause and Juliette thinks that that is the end of it. But then she feels the warmth of Adam’s palm envelop her knee, the touch causing her eyes to snap back towards him. His expression had shifted – still soft but there is a hardened sense of earnestness underneath it.

“No, I mean, you don’t have to try.”

The words are repeated, nothing new said. But it’s the way he says it that causes Juliette’s heart to skip a beat. The chill from the lake disappears as the heat floods her body. But unfortunately, while the heat comes in full force, so does the anxiety.

Why was he saying this? Did he really mean it? Did he know how she felt? Does he feel the same?

These questions and more spin around in her mind, rendering her silent, her eyes just wide and still, staring at Adam. She barely registers the shift in his own expression, her silence no doubt causing some doubt of his own to enter his mind.

“Jules…”

“I don’t want to hear this.”

The thought comes over her in an instant, cutting through the rest of the static in her brain. Whether he was going to comfort her, or rescind his words, or try to explain them more, she didn’t want to hear it.

“I need to get more water,” she mumbles, the words fall past her lips in a jumble of syllables, barely coherent. But it didn’t really matter when they were accompanied by the speed in which she lifted herself up, retreating back into the now empty house and into the kitchen. And as she fills up her cup again, her confusion resurfaces.

What the fuck was happening?

Was Adam trying to pick her up? Is that what that meant? And if so, why was she so scared of it? That’s what she wanted. That’s the reason she wore this dress. The reason she was here.

So, if it worked, if her efforts paid off, why was she running away?

Because it had never worked before. Not with any of the guys in the past eight years. It didn’t even work with Adam back in high school. Sure, she didn’t tell him outright that she wanted more back then. But that didn’t mean that she didn’t drop hints to him, hoping that he would understand them and take that first step himself. But he remained oblivious for those last few months and then he was gone.

And of course, now – now after years of not talking – he finally reciprocates. And that was terrifying.

It was easy not to be wanted, to be casual, to be friends. Nothing was real; there was no risks and no consequences to unrequited feelings. But now… if she took that step with Adam, whatever tenuous strand of friendship that they were still clinging to would be irrevocably shifted and changed.

What the fuck was she going to do?

Juliette heaves a sigh, walking out of the kitchen, debating on what her next step should be. Should she take the leap? Pretend Adam’s words didn’t tangle her in knots like they did? Fully run away by hopping in her car without saying goodbye?

Perhaps unfortunately for her, Juliette doesn’t have the chance to make the final decision. Because when she enters the living room, looking up from her glass, Adam is standing there waiting for her.

“Jules,” he starts, taking a step towards her.

“Please stop calling me that.”

“Why?”

“No one ever calls me that,” Juliette explains, her voice dismissive as she takes another sip of her drink, still trying to settle the pounding of her heart.

“No one? Not one other person has ever called you Jules? A friend? A boyfriend? No one?” Adam asks, taking a step towards her after every single question until he is standing in front of her, his body towering over her.

“No one,” she confirms, her voice faltering with the nerves still thrumming through her body.

“Only me?”

Juliette takes a deep breath, steeling herself for the words she was about to speak, knowing that they would be more of a confession than anything else she could possibly say. It takes a moment before her hazel eyes open, connecting to him.

“That nickname has only ever been for you.”

The words hang in the air between them and Juliette watches as they register on Adam’s face and her heart pangs when that soft, gentle smile appears on his face; a smile that was always reserved for her. Her heartbeat doesn’t settle when Adam’s hand lifts up to brush away the loose curl from Juliette’s forehead, his finger twirling around the strand before placing it behind her ear. His fingers don’t stray far as they move to brush along her jawline and she knows Adam can see the goosebumps his touch causes.

“What else is only mine?” Adam questions, his voice dropping impossibly deeper as his face moves closer towards Juliette’s.

“Do you really have to ask?”

“I need you to say it, Jules. Tell me what’s going on in that pretty head of yours.”

This was the moment. There was more delaying, no time for hesitation. It was time for a decision. One that felt impossible for Juliette to make. But then Adam’s thumb brushes against her cheek, pulling her attention away from her thoughts and back to him.

“Don’t overthink it, Jules. It’s okay,” he whispers, his voice as delicate as his touch. “You don’t have to try with me, remember?”

It’s those words that cause that last wall to come crashing down, a shuddering breath running through Juliette. She closes her eyes, digging deeply for the strength to speak the truth that she had known for a long time.

“I am, Adam. Only yours. I think I always have been.”

Juliette’s response is enough for Adam to finally close the gap between them, his lips coming to press against hers. And even though Juliette could see the kiss coming, the feeling of it – the reality of it – still made her almost drop her glass.

Because Adam was kissing her. He was actually kissing her.

It’s Juliette that deepens the kiss, pushing up on her toes to press her body closer to Adam, relishing the groan that escapes him as his hands fly to her hips in order to keep her body pinned to his. Somehow, Juliette manages to find some flat surface nearby to set down her cup and as soon as the cheap plastic is out of her hands, they fly up to tangle in Adam’s hair, kisses never ceasing.

It feels like an eternity before Adam finally pulls away from her and Juliette’s eyes reconnect with his, registering the dark black of his pupils almost swallowing the bright blue of his irises.

There aren’t any words spoken between the two of them as Adam steps back. There was no time to speak before he is taking her hand in his and leading her down the hallway. Juliette was still trying to piece her mind back together after the dizzying kiss that she doesn’t protest as Adam drags her along, doesn’t question when Adam leads her up the stairs and into the second-floor bathroom.

She definitely doesn’t complain when Adam locks the door behind him and pulls her back into his arms, their lips connecting again. Adam uses his strong body to push Juliette against the sink countertop, a chill rushing down her spine as the cool marble hits the back of her bare thighs.

Adam’s hands are all over her body, pulling her closer to him, pressing her frame against his. A gasp falls from Juliette when Adam’s hands cup the back of her legs, lifting her up onto the countertop with an ease that sends another rush of heat down to her core.

Eventually, Adam’s lips fall from her own and begin to move across her jawline, down the smooth expanse of her throat. Juliette can’t help the way her hips roll when Adam pauses against her neck, sucking a hickey into her pale skin with a fierceness that is exquisite in its sting. Adam moves again, his lips trailing down across her collarbones, dancing across the top of her cleavage, before he pulls away to flick his eyes back up to hers.

“What else is only for me, Jules?” he asks, reiterating the question that led them here. “Is this dress for me?”

There is no hesitancy as Juliette’s response comes in an empathetic nod of her head. A whine escapes her as Adam’s fingers deftly trace along the neckline and she can hear him moan at the sight of her nipples straining through the fabric.

“Only wore it so you could take it off,” Juliette murmurs, slightly shocked at how Adam was able to pull the truth from her so effortlessly. The only response Adam gives is a low chuckle, his hands moving up to momentarily play with the thin straps between his fingers before he oh so painstakingly slides them off her shoulders.

Juliette lets him pull the fabric down, exposing her bare chest to the harsh light of the bathroom, another groan falling from his lips at the sight of her.

“Fuck, you’re so beautiful,” he mutters before moving forward, his lips resuming their former place against her sternum, now free to roam further down. A soft moan escapes Juliette as Adam’s lips close around her nipple, teasing it and causing another involuntary roll of her hips. Adam pauses on her chest for a moment, to give both of her breasts an ample amount of attention before continuing to move his lips down, over the ridges of her ribs.

“What are you – ” Juliette attempts to ask as he sinks to his knees in front of her but the question is quickly cut off when Adam’s strong hands pull apart her thighs and his soft lips connect to the delicate skin.

“What do you think I’m doing?” he whispers again her inner thighs, lips slowly moving further up. “Tell me what else is mine, Jules.”

The shiver that runs through Juliette’s body is in response to Adam’s movements, her legs opening wider both to give him access and as a silent plea. If Adam notices, he doesn’t take the bait, his lips lingering just inches from where she wants him.

“What else?” he asks and a shuddering breath falls from Juliette as one of his hands sneaks up towards the soft grey cotton of her thong, the fabric flooding with her need as Adam presses a finger against her slit.

“Is this all for me?” he continues, his touch moving upwards to rub her clit, pulling a whine from Juliette as her hips jolt forwards once more. “Tell me Jules,” Adam softly demands, his movements never stopping. “What else is mine?”

“I am,” Juliette whispers, the words coming out shaky, not only due to the feeling of Adam’s fingers against her but also the lingering anxiety that laced itself between the syllables. Adam manages to hear that hesitancy within her voice and he tears himself away, looking up to lock his eyes with hers once more.

“I’m yours, Adam,” she continues, the gentle expression on his face calming her, allowing the truth to be spoken with ease. “All of me.”

Adam doesn’t give Juliette a verbal response but she can see the shift in his expression as he takes in her words, sees his lips uptick in a smile. He raises his body up slightly to allow Juliette to close the gap between them, pulling him into another kiss, her hands tangling in his hair once more. She moans into his mouth as she feels his hands sneaking underneath the hemline of her dress and finding the elastic waistband of her panties, pulling away from her lips as he pulls the fabric away from her core.

He shoots a quick smirk up at her before his large hands are pushing her thighs even further apart, the movement causing the bottom of her dress to slip up over her hips. Juliette barely has time to react before Adam’s head is ducking down again, his lips retracing their movement against her inner thighs until they finally, finally, connect with her core.

The sharp gasp that leaves Juliette’s mouth is the only sound that escapes as her hands tighten in his hair, pulling him impossibly deeper into her, an action that sends a chuckle rumbling from Adam’s chest, the vibration of it sending another jolt through Juliette.

The whines and moans only increase as Adam continues to move, his tongue dipping into her folds, groaning at her taste. His lips eventually wander up to wrap around her clit and the way he sucks, the way his tongue flicks over the sensitive bundle of nerves almost causes Juliette to come undone.

“Oh fuck,” Juliette moans, hips rolling up to chase Adam’s lips.

“Yeah? Just like that?” comes Adam’s questioning voice before he repeats the movement, another high-pitched whimper falling from Juliette. “Come on sweetheart. I want you to cum for me.”

His simple request and the repeated motion of his mouth against her is all it takes for that peak to come crashing over Juliette, thighs tightening around Adam’s head before his hands lift to hold them open as his mouth continues its movements, eagerly lapping up her release, the vibration of his own groans causing her orgasm to be prolonged.

The crest eventually subsides, leaving Juliette’s still exposed chest heaving as Adam’s lips move back to kiss at the apex of her thighs. But before the desire completely disappears, before Juliette is slammed back into the reality of where she was and what just happened, another moan is pulled past her lips as Adam’s hand sneaks between her legs, his fingers once again coming to press against her slit, this time unobstructed.

“Fuck Jules, you feel so fucking good,” he groans into her soft skin, a finger plunging into her core, the welcomed intrusion sending another flush of heat through her body, no doubt painting her chest a more mottled scarlet than before.

“Adam,” she whines, the hand still tangled in his hair tugging him upwards. He obliges, lifting himself off his knees but still keeps his hand between her thighs, one finger pumping into her core before he slides another in.

The moan that escapes from Juliette is swallowed quickly by Adam crashing his lips back to hers, kissing her deeply as he continues his movements. Juliette breaks away from the kiss when Adam curls his fingers within her, the motion causing him to graze over that one spot that had her seeing stars. Adam reads her reaction with ease and is smart enough to repeat the motion, causing another delectable moan to fall from her.

Juliette’s eyes jump down to stare at Adam’s arms, taking in the the way his veins became more prominent with every motion, her moans becoming erratic as Adam once again brings her closer and closer to her peak. Without thinking, the hand that had she had been using to support her body flew to wrap around Adam’s forearm, as if to silently beg him to keep it there. It was an additional bonus for her to feel his muscles flex as his fingers continued move within her.

“That’s right darling,” Adam sighs out, his breath hot against the shell of her ear. “Give me another one. Prove to me that you’re all mine.”

His sudden possessiveness is what drives Juliette over the edge again, her second orgasm crashing over her. The feeling of her clenching around Adam’s fingers pulls a groan from him, one he muffles by burying his mouth into the junction of Juliette’s neck and shoulder, his lips and teeth marking her once more.

It takes a moment for both of them to catch their breath before Adam is pulling away, his hands and body retreating from Juliette’s. He doesn’t stray far, only taking one step back and Juliette can’t help but bask in the way his eyes rake over her still exposed body.

Juliette appraises him similarly, eyes jumping down to the bulge in his jeans. That sight renews her hunger as she slides off the countertop, not bothering to adjust anything before sinking to her knees in front of Adam. Her hands crawl up his thick thighs towards his belt buckle. She barely has the chance to start to undo the leather when Adam’s hands reach down and halt her movements.

“No Jules,” Adam says. “Not here.”

“But I want to,” she replies, looking up at him, her eyes still blown wide in pure need.

Adam reaches down to cup her face and Juliette leans into his touch, his large palm almost covering her entire cheek. Adam holds out his other hand to her and there is only a moment before Juliette places her hand in his. He pulls her off the tile floor, not waiting even a millisecond before pulling her into him again, lips crashing together. Juliette wraps her arms around him, reveling in the way he touches her and kisses her until she feels drunk. Adam eventually breaks away, his warm breath fanning over her cheeks.

“Let me take you home, Jules.”

Juliette response is an assured nod, desperation still fueling her actions and Adam can’t stop the small laugh that escapes him. Juliette feels his hands moving against her but this time, it’s to pull the hem of her dress down, covering her. She pulls the top half back over her chest and reaches for the denim jacket, oh so carelessly left on the bathroom counter. But when she pulls the fabric back over her shoulders, her keys fall out of the pocket and onto the tile with a clatter, reminding her of a small snag in their plan.

“Wait, we came here separately,” she says, halting Adam at the doorway. “And I’m not about to try and explain why I’m leaving my car here.”

“Right. Fuck, um,” Adam says, pausing with his hand on the handle, his free hand coming to run through his hair. “Do you want to lead the way?” he asks, looking back at her.

“Back to my place?”

“Yeah,” he replies. “I mean, only if you want to.”

Juliette smiles, slowly walking over to him. She slides between him and the still closed door before lifting herself up to connect their lips again. Adam happily melts into the kiss, pressing her against the solid wood. Juliette lets her hands wander down, once again dancing over Adam’s belt buckle before dipping a little lower and she can’t help the satisfied feeling that rushes through her when Adam breaks from the kiss with a groan as she gently palms him through his jeans.

“If we leave now, we can be there in 15,” she says, not halting her movements as she captures Adam’s lips in hers again. This time, Adam voluntarily pulls away, reaching down to stop her hands before grinning back at her.

“You gonna break the speed limit?”

“Are you?”

Adam’s immediately grabs Juliette’s hips, pulling her into his body before lifting her feet off the tile, spinning her away from the door. She gasps at the ease in which he could maneuver her, the heat once again moving through her body at the possibilities his strength could provide as the night went on. Adam leans in to press a quick kiss onto her lips before moving back, his eyes heavy as he looks down at her.

“I don’t want to be away from you any longer than I have to,” he says, turning the handle and holding the door open for Juliette. She steps through, looking back at Adam with a mischievous smirk.

“Just don’t get pulled over.”

*~*~*~*~*

The morning sunlight shines through the cracks in Juliette’s white curtains, hitting her closed eyes. The concentrated beam causes her eyelashes to flutter open, softly groaning as she burrows deeper into her sheets. As she does, the weight of another shifts and Juliette’s eyes open to see Adam sleeping peacefully, the sun causing his hair to alight in a beautiful auburn.

Last night…

It was everything that Juliette could’ve wanted; everything she could’ve dreamt it to be. Adam made her feel… everything. All those thoughts and emotions that she had been holding back for ages, he brought forth with the touch of his hands on her skin.

He made her feel desired. He told her as much. And she had told him that she was his.

But words said in the heat of passion may not hold in the harsh light of day.

They needed to talk. Actually sit down and have a conversation about everything that had happened, every word said.

The conviction in her mind makes Juliette sit upright in bed, the covers falling from her body as she stretches her arms over her head. Perhaps she would make breakfast, or order in, or something. Food always seemed to help hard conversations become a little easier.

Juliette swings her legs over the edge of the mattress and right as her feet hit the floor, she hears the vibration of Adam’s phone rattling against the wood of her nightstand. She quickly circles the bed, intending to hit the lock button to silence what she assumes to be an alarm, as to not disturb him. Let him rest a little longer. But when the screen comes into view, she sees that it is not an alarm, but a Facetime call attempting to come through.

And when Juliette’s brain registers the picture and caller ID on the screen, her heart stops beating.

She doesn’t move, just stares at the phone as it continues to ring, memorizing the face of the girl wrapped in Adam’s arms in the image plastered on the screen; the blonde of her hair, her smile. The two hearts framing her caller ID.

The phone eventually silences but before Juliette can take another breath, a text message pops up.

Betty You’re probably still asleep. I forget that you’re in a different time-zone. Hope you had fun at the party! Call me whenever you wake up! Love you! Message received May 27th at 8:41am

Juliette doesn’t move; her feet feeling like stone weights, her heart collapsing in on itself like a dying star. She is so stuck in the moment where everything she thought she knew shifted on its axis that she barely registers the rustling of sheets next to her, the gentle groan of Adam rousing from his sleep.

“Morning,” Adam mumbles and Juliette can hear him turn his body towards her. But she doesn’t look at him, just keeps her eyes locked to the phone, her mind racing with the truth that Adam withheld.

He lied to her. He made her an accomplice in his infidelity. Turned her into something she never wanted to be. The temptress, the mistress, the other woman.

“Jules?”

There’s that fucking nickname again, falling from his lips and Juliette doesn’t want to acknowledge the ache in her heart when she hears him say her name like that. Because she knows that she would do anything he asked if he would just say it again.

She clenches her jaw and finally tears her eyes away from the nightstand, moving to look at Adam laying in the messy sheets. And when her hazel eyes connect to his, she wishes she could erase the feeling of desire that comes rushing to the surface.

Because he is not hers to want.

She knows that now.

“Who’s Betty?”

The words echo around her bedroom and Juliette can feel them hanging in the air as she watches Adam’s brow furrow before the realization drops. And he looks as if he’s been shot.

“Good,” she thinks. He should feel disgusted for what he did. For lying to her. For leading her on.

“Jules, I can explain,” Adam begins but Juliette cuts him off with a scoff.

“You can explain? Explain what, Adam? That you –”

Juliette spins away from him, her hand coming up to her mouth. She didn’t want to say the words, didn’t want to speak the truth into existence. But there was no avoiding this.

“Who is she?” she asks again, not bothering to turn around to face Adam again, instead choosing to stare out the window at the rising sun, not caring if the light caused her eyes to water. The tears would’ve come eventually. Better to blame it on something else instead of the feeling of her heart shattering.

“She’s my girlfriend,” Adam confesses, his voice soft with defeat.

Another scoff falls from Juliette as her lips purse, her head slightly shaking. Her arms cross in front of her stomach as she continues to look forward. She tries to ignore the sound of Adam sliding out from underneath her sheets, the gentle sound of his footsteps crossing the short distance between them, the heat of his body behind her. She ignores it until she can’t, when his hands slide across her arms before stopping over hers, holding her in his embrace.

She should push him off her, throw him out of her house and her life. But she doesn’t. She doesn’t move, doesn’t speak, barely breathes.

She just waits. Waits for him to speak. To tell her. Tell her what exactly, she isn’t sure. Because she knows that any word out of his mouth would just plunge the knife deeper.

The silence lasts for a long moment, neither of them brave enough to make the first move. Until Juliette feels Adam’s hands shift, moving to her biceps, gently gripping them.

“Jules, look at me. Please.”

She tries to resist the pull of him, not just the physical pull but the tug of her heart, begging her to listen even though her mind knew better. Eventually, she turns, her eyes closing, wanting to hold off on staring into those beautiful blue eyes.

It’s the gentle touch of his fingers against her chin that finally forces her eyes to flutter open. She can see his expression shift as he registers the tears on her cheeks and the blankness in her gaze.

“I’m sorry,” he says and Juliette can’t help the small huff of laughter that escapes as her eyes move away for a quick moment before coming back to his.

“For what? Sorry for what?”

“For not telling you,” Adam begins and – in a reaction that was long overdue – Juliette feels her sad numbness finally shift into anger.

“You’re damn right you should’ve told me!” she says, tearing her arms away from him and pacing to the other side of her bedroom. “What, did you think I would be okay with this? Do you think I wanted this?”

“You wanted this last night,” Adam mutters and the words sink in, causing the fire in Juliette to blaze higher, another scoff falling from her lips.

“Don’t you dare try to pin this on me. I’m not the one who fucked someone else while they’re girlfriend was waiting for them two provinces away!”

“I’m sorry.”

“Stop saying that! Stop apologizing to me like that’s going to fix everything. What the fuck were you thinking, Adam?”

“You want to know what I was thinking?” he says, turning towards her with a fierceness in his eyes that makes Juliette take a step back. “I was thinking; here’s this girl that I had been friends with for years, that looks more beautiful than she did the last day I saw her, and that looks like she wants me just as much as I want her.”

It takes a moment for his words to break through the fire that surrounded Juliette but when they finally do sink in, it smothers the blaze as quickly as it came.

Because it feelslike he is telling her the truth. The words he spoke… they don’t feel hollow. They don’t feel like words he spewed just to assuage her, to calm her. They feel real. But then again, so did last night.

Juliette doesn’t respond, just stays in place, letting her silence stretch until Adam takes it as a sign to continue.

“Betty and I…” Adam starts, the sentence trailing off as he tries to put his thoughts in order. “I care about her. I do. And I know it might not seem like it based on, well, everything. But when I saw you again… I don’t know if I can explain it. Something hit me, like I was seeing you for the first time.”

Adam takes a step towards Juliette, his footsteps delicate against the hardwood of her bedroom floor. He approached her cautiously, as if she was a wounded animal backed into a corner. Which she very well might be, based on how razor-thin close she was to shattering.

“I thought that I would die if I didn’t have you.”

Juliette can feel the tears start to well in her eyes and she tries to push them down. But it is futile as Adam’s voice continues to gently call, his hand moving to reach out to her.  

“Jules. My Jules.”

“Don’t.”

“Please.”

“Adam… don’t,” she repeats, the words growing thick with all the emotions that she had suppressed for so long. She feels the first teardrop fall the second that Adam grabs her hand, his touch pulling an involuntary reaction from her, like it did last night underneath her bedsheets.

“It’s always been you. I’m sorry it took me this long to see it.”

His confession finally causes the damn to break open and it is purely instinctive, the way she collapses into his outstretched arms, her tear-stained cheeks pressing against his still bare chest.

Juliette isn’t sure about the meaning behind her tears, her mind too jumbled to make sense of anything except the feeling of Adam’s strong arms holding her tight. He doesn’t speak; he just lets the emotions pour out, his lips burrowed in her hair. 

There is no denying how wrong this situation is. Nothing would erase the newfound discovery of Adam’s girlfriend waiting in Winnipeg, waiting for a call back. But right now, Juliette can’t seem to find it in herself to care.

Because although she isn’t sure what is true… this, here, being in Adam’s arms feels right.

And if it feels this good, how could it possibly be wrong?

Eventually, Juliette’s tears run out, leaving her only with small sniffles and red eyes. Adam is still holding her, one of his hands running calming circles against her spine. It takes a moment for her to gather enough to strength to push away from him, although she doesn’t go far, content to stay encased in his arms.

“So,” she speaks, brushing away any lingering wetness from her cheeks before looking up towards Adam. “What are we going to do?”

Her heart shouldn’t leap at the sight of a grin breaking out on Adam’s face. But like every reaction that Adam pulls from her, she isn’t sure that she would’ve been able to stop it.

“What do you want me to do? Or need me to do?”

“I mean, breaking up with your girlfriend would be a good start,” Juliette says, trying to infuse some light-hearted teasing into her words. An ease that is quickly squashed by Adam’s response.

“I can’t. Not now.”

“But you said –” she starts, her eyebrow furrowing in confusion before Adam cuts her off, an explanation waiting on his lips.

“I know. And I promise, you are the only one I want, I swear. But I do care about Betty. I can’t just break it off with her over a phone call while she’s a thousand kilometers away. That wouldn’t be fair.”

“So, what does that mean for us, now? Am I just supposed to go on with my life after everything you told me? Are we supposed to go back to how it was before yesterday; when I tried to forget you and you did the same?”

“I never forgot about you,” Adam says, his head ducking down to kiss her but Juliette turns her head before he can.

“You know what I mean, Adam,” she says, sending him a serious look indicating that she wasn’t about to let this go that easily. Adam sighs, shaking his head while shooting her a small smile.

“Always so stubborn,” he murmurs. “There is no way we are going back to never talking. I’m not letting you go that easily, especially now that I finally have you.”

“So, what are we going to do?”

Another sigh escapes Adam’s chest as he looks up towards the ceiling in thought. Juliette waits patiently, wanting him to take the reins in this situation. Especially considering that this… thing was his idea.

“I think it’s best that we keep this,” he says, pulling her closer to emphasize the meaning behind his words, “private. There’s no way I’m not spending another night in your bed for the rest of the summer.”

The sultry cadence of his words causes a rush of heat to rise to Juliette’s cheeks, her head turning away shyly. Or attempting to turn away before Adam catches her chin, pulling her attention back towards his.

“But we can obviously hang out together. Like we did back in high school. No reason that what we do behind these four walls would change how we act outside of them. How’s that sound?”

The question is directed towards Juliette and she lets the proposition sink in, tearing it over in her head. She would be lying if she said she didn’t have reservations. The proposal was an affair – there was no other word that better defined it. But Adam didn’t frame it like that. It was a necessary but temporary situation. Nothing more.

Juliette isn’t sure what makes her shake her head in agreement. If it was desire or fear or desperation. But she doesn’t get a chance to examine the driving emotion further. Because as soon as she gives her silent answer, that smile appears on Adam’s face, the fingers underneath her chin lifting her head up to meet his eyes.

“I promise Jules,” he whispers against her lips. “Just a few months. And then I can be yours completely.”

And when he seals his vow with a kiss to her lips, the only thing that Juliette can put into words is how good it feels to have him right now.

*~*~*~*~*

The summer drifts by and sometimes, Juliette finds her mind drifting with it.

Her and Adam continue their affair. Juliette hates thinking about it like that but there was no other way to describe it. She knew about Betty, about the girl waiting back in Winnipeg for Adam, about the girl who had claimed the spot of partner in Adam’s life long before she did. Juliette doesn’t like to think about Betty though, often banishing any thought of her from her mind. Because thinking about Betty would mean acknowledging her own role in this – the other woman.

But it’s easy to forget whenever her and Adam are alone.

Adam is intoxicating: the way he touches her, the way he kisses her. The hours she spends with him are exhilarating; stolen moments in his car, kisses shared in secrecy behind garden fences and in secluded hallways, evenings in her room with their hips moving in tandem, mornings when Adam dips beneath her covers and looks up at her, grinning like devil from between her thighs.

The voice in the back of Juliette’s mind remains, occasionally speaking up, telling her this is going to end – badly. That she is walking a treacherous path and eventually, she’s going to pay for the missteps that she is making.

However, that voice gets weaker and weaker as the summer goes on.

Because the way Adam treats Juliette… it’s not temporary. Or at least, it doesn’t feel like it is temporary. He doesn’t act like she is some summer fling, something to illicit excitement for a few months and then abandon as soon as the weather turns cold.

No, Adam treats her like this is it, like this is the one romance that he always wanted.

It was dangerous, falling for him again. It left her with nothing but heartache the last time, pining after him: the one that got away.

But then he came back. Fate brought him back to her and he was here now. He was next to her and he was telling her all the things she dreamed about hearing. His sweet words drowned out everything in her mind that was screaming at her, telling her this was wrong.

Because how could it be?

When she woke up next to him, watching the sunlight dance over his skin…

When he wrapped his arms around her and held her close…

When he told her that she was the only one for him…

How could any of that be wrong?

Yes, there were moments where she didn’t want to leave the comfort of the sheets that she and Adam were tangled in. Because leaving the privacy of her bedroom walls meant pretending that he didn’t send a fire burning through her with every look, every touch. And sometimes, she got tired of pretending. Juliette wanted to be able to hold his hand while they were walking down the street, wanted to kiss him in front of their friends, wanted to show the world that he was hers.

But Adam always soothed her, told her that this was the only part of their summer romance that was temporary. She just had to wait a little longer. Just until he saw Betty in person.

Just a few more months.

*~*~*~*~*

The cool breeze blowing in from the lake ruffled Juliette’s hair, the curls still damp and her skin still warm. Adam always loved to kiss the freckles that appeared on her cheeks after the hours she spent in the sun and Jules loved the feeling of his lips on her skin.

She wanted to feel them again.

They had spent the day at the lake with their friends and it was fun and enjoyable. It sent Juliette back to those high school summers where everything was simpler. Sometimes she still found herself wanting to go back there because maybe then she would be braver. Maybe she would’ve told Adam how she felt before he went away.

Juliette feels the warmth of a palm appear on the bare skin of her thigh and her eye dart from the passing woods to Adam’s profile, sitting behind the wheel as he drives her back to his house.

Maybe she could’ve been braver. But he was here now and that was all that mattered.

They had to pretend for the entire day, keeping a friendly distance from each other, only giving into the rising temptation in the backseat of Adam’s car parked in a secluded spot by the lakeshore after all their friends had left. Juliette still wanted more, not quite satisfied. Sometimes it didn’t feel like enough. But these stolen moments… they were enough right now.

And every touch Adam placed against her skin was weighted with the promise of something more to come as soon as the night took hold.

But they would have to pretend for a little longer – long enough to sit through a dinner with Adam’s mother, father, and brother Joel, along with Elsie and Evan. Just like old times.

Juliette is snapped out of her reverie by Adam pulling into his driveway, putting the car in park before smiling over to her.

“Ready?” he asks. Juliette lets out a hum, her eyes darting towards the front door, knowing as soon as they stepped over that threshold, their masks of ‘just friends’ would have fall back into place. Her eyes return to Adam, a playful glint reflecting in them.

“I don’t know if I want to let you go yet.”

Adam doesn’t hesitate in responding to her stalling by leaning over the center console, his hand coming to grip the back of her neck and pulling her close, pressing his lips against hers. She willingly surrenders to the kiss, pushing her body towards him, her hand lifting to grip his wrist and hold him in place. Juliette breaks the kiss, pulling away before nuzzling her head into Adam’s palm, looking up at him with her best bedroom eyes.

The shudder runs through her body as she hears Adam exhale, her lips twitching upwards in delight, loving the response that she could pull from him.

“We’ll stay for two hours, tops,” Adam says, his own darkening eyes dancing over her frame and Juliette can almost see the pictures flashing through Adam’s mind, her own body heating with anticipation.

“I’m holding you to that,” she whispers before fully removing herself from Adam’s touch, opening the car door and slipping out. She doesn’t wait for him as she walks up the front porch steps, swinging open the door and kicking off her slides before following the sounds of conversation, leading her to the kitchen.

When she rounds the corner, her eyes gloss over the scene quickly, noticing Elsie standing next to Adam’s mom by the stove and Evan talking to his dad Dave over on the couch. Juliette is about halfway into the room when the back door opens and Joel walks in, holding an empty platter and tongs with Elsie following closely behind him.

“Wait, Elsie?”

If Elsie was outside then who was –

“Adam! Guess who decided to pop in unexpectedly.”

It’s his mom Elaine that speaks and Juliette knows that behind her, Adam has just stepped into the kitchen. And when the blonde that was standing next to Elaine turns, the blonde that Juliette originally mistook for Elsie, there was no mistaking who it was.

Her face had haunted Juliette even since that morning in late May.

“Betty?”

Hearing her name fall from Adam’s lips feels like a gut-punch but Juliette forces herself to turn and watch as Betty jogs over to him. She tries not flinch when Betty jumps into his arms and Adam easily lifts her up. And it is only a moment before she presses her lips against his.

Juliette barely registers the scattered clapping coming from Adam’s family and their friends over the sentimental reunion and she shakes herself out of her shock just enough to politely join in. Her eyes stay glued onto Adam as he and Betty untangle, the smile pulled across his face, his blue eyes shining bright.

It looks so convincing.

“Surprise!” Betty giggles, holding her hands up in joy. “Miss me?”

“Of course, I did,” he replies, his hands resting on her hips pulling her into another hug, Betty’s head pressed against his chest. It is only then does his eyes dart over towards Juliette and she tries to keep her face as neutral as possible, not wanting to reveal any emotion that would complicate this now dangerous situation they found themselves in.

“How are you here?” Adam asks as Betty pulls away.

“A work trip. Not here, up in Edmonton but I decided to take an extended weekend to come surprise you.”

“Well, consider me very surprised,” Adam says and Juliette turns away as he leans into kiss Betty again.

She had to get out of this kitchen.

So, in the most casual movements that she could muster, Juliette walks over to the backdoor, pushing it open and wandering onto the Lowry’s expansive deck. She spies Joel standing in front of the grill, flipping the chicken breasts for dinner. Juliette goes to him for no real reason except for maybe distraction.

“Hey Julie,” Joel says once she stops next to the grill.

“Hey Joel. You got stuck with grill duty?”

“Looks like it. Dad didn’t want to today and you and Adam weren’t back in enough time so, here I am.”

“So, I’m partially responsible for your predicament?”

“Depends on if you were the reason Adam was late,” Joel jokes, looking over to Juliette with a smile on his face.

Juliette has to push down the heat that threatens to rise as the image of her and Adam in the backseat of his car with his hand between her thighs, flashes through her mind. Instead, she just laughs before her attention is pulled by Elaine and Dave walking outside, followed closely by Elsie and Evan. Adam and Betty appear last and she tries not to feel hurt at the sight of their hands intertwined.

She turns away, looking for another distraction, moving to the cooler placed in the corner of the deck. Juliette manages to fish out a beer and pops it open. But before she can even take a swig, she hears Adam’s voice sound from behind her.

“Hey Jules,” he says and she spins around and comes face-to-face with him and Betty. “Have you met Betty yet?”

Juliette once again must force a different expression on her face, one that disguises her true emotions (like the feeling of wanting to glare daggers in Adam’s direction) before turning to Betty with a smile on her face.

“I don’t think I have,” she says lightly, holding out her hand. “Nice to finally meet you, Betty.”

“Finally meet me? Oh no, please don’t tell me Adam has told you everything about me.” Betty laughs, taking Juliette’s hand.

“Well, we’ve been best friends since high school so he usually tells me everything,” Juliette explains, her eyes darting back to Adam knowing that he understands the insinuation behind her words. “But he’s only painted the best picture of you.”

“That’s good to hear. Want to try to make a good impression, y’know?”

“Totally understandable.”

Their conversation is interrupted by Adam’s dad calling everyone over to their outdoor dining table, ready to serve dinner. And as they all take their places, Juliette finds herself sitting next to Elsie and right across from Adam and Betty. Which means that all throughout dinner, Juliette is forced to watch the two of them.

She has to watch Adam with his arm so casually thrown over Betty’s chair, has to watch his head occasionally dip down to kiss her. She has to sit through a dinner filled with everyone talking about Betty and Adam: about their house in Winnipeg, about their golden retriever Banks, about their life together. An entire life separate from the world of this little Calgary lakeside neighborhood.

A life completely separated from her.

And when Juliette listens to Adam, hears his whispered words to Betty that float over to her on the late summer breeze… they sound so similar to the words that he whispered to her those early mornings, safe beneath her sheets.

Sometimes, Juliette focuses her attention onto Betty, watching as she effortlessly becomes a part of the moment, how she is so at ease with Adam’s family, and how she manages to make even Elsie and Evan laugh. And how in love she is with Adam.

Dinner ends as the night cools and after a few more drinks and a little more conversation, Juliette finds herself walking out the front door with Evan and Elsie close behind, catching a ride back to her apartment with them instead of Adam. For obvious reasons.

And it’s only a few moments until Juliette is curled up in the backseat of Elsie’s convertible, the night air chilling her to the bone as she watches the scenery pass her by, only slightly listening to the conversation being had by Elsie and Evan in the front. Until she hears Adam’s name.

“So, Adam’s girlfriend. What do we think?” Elsie probes, her question dancing on the air.

“She pretty cool. Although it seems kind of weird that this is the first time we’re meeting her but it feels like she’s already met Adam’s family,” Evan muses.

“Yeah, but that’s probably because they go to Winnipeg more than we do. Most likely they met her there along with the rest of Adam’s Winnipeg friends.”

“So, we’re just the less important hometown friends?”

“Well, maybe you are, Evan,” she teases before her twin brother smacks her arm. Juliette can’t stop the smile that tugs at her lips at their antics, a smile that is matched by Evan as he turns to face her.

“What do you think, Julie?”

“About you being less important? I suppose it’s debatable,” she laughs, joining in on Elsie’s teasing.

“No,” Evan says rolling his eyes, still hating whenever the two of them team up against him. “What do you think about Betty?”

Juliette’s smile falters slightly as she turns her eyes back out into the dark forest surrounding the street.

“She seems really nice,” she offers quietly, her voice almost lost to the wind. Juliette can hear a small hum emulate from Evan before he returns to face forward.

The conversation ends there, the rest of the ride to her apartment silent except for the thanks she gives Elsie and Evan when they arrive.

And when she collapses into her bed that suddenly feels too big for just her, she turns towards the empty side, picturing Adam next to her.

*~*~*~*~*

The next thing Juliette registers is her jolting awake from a deep sleep, with the feeling of bile building in her throat, the early morning light filtering through her windows.

She didn’t remember falling asleep. She had no recollection of when she finally drifted off after hours of tossing and turning. But she did remember her dream.

She was standing in her bedroom, separate from her body, watching over the scene like a fly on the wall. Her body was in her bed and Adam was next to her, facing her, that gentle expression on his face as he looked into her eyes. His hand brushed the hair away from her face and Juliette could hear him whisper those sweet words; telling her that she was the only one he wanted, telling her that he loved her.

Juliette watched as he leaned in to kiss her, his hand tangling in her hair, pulling her body close.

It was a familiar scene, one that had played out almost every night they were together in the past two months. But as Juliette continued to watch, the scene began to shift. The body lying next to Adam starts to change: her curls straighten, her dark hair begins to lighten, the freckles on her skin disappear. And when Adam breaks the kiss, the girl below him isn’t Juliette.

It’s Betty, looking up at Adam with her beautiful brown eyes.

Juliette couldn’t look away, watching as Adam brushes back her blonde hair before whispering that he missed her. That two months away from her felt like torture. That he thought he would die if he didn’t have her in his arms.

The same thing he told Juliette that first morning.

She watched the soft smile break across Betty’s face and Juliette had to watch as Adam leaned in, kissing Betty once again.

Juliette’s hands rub across her face, attempting to scrub the dream from her mind. But she knows it is an impossible task, knows she will never be able to forget it.

That dream was a sharp shock back to reality, an upfront confrontation of the situation she found herself in. The situation that she had perpetuated.

This was what Adam was doing to her. This was what they both were doing to Betty.

Adam’s girlfriend was no longer a face on the screen. Her name was no longer something said in passing. She was here. She was real. And the truth would destroy her.

But what was the truth?

Was it the life that Adam and Betty had built together in Winnipeg? Or was it every moment that he and Juliette shared?

Juliette had believed Adam meant every word that he said to her. Back then, when this whole affair first started, she had to believe it. It was the only hope she could hold on to. But she never stopped to think that perhaps that was all it was – hope.

Enough to sustain her but not enough to feed her. No where close to what she actually needed in order to survive.

That voice in the back of her mind – the one that had been silenced as the summer went on – was back in full-force now, screaming at her. Telling her that this would be a disaster, no matter who Adam chose.

If he chose Juliette, Betty would be devastated. The life that she had built in Winnipeg would be destroyed and was Juliette that heartless to not feel a shred of sympathy for the girl whose life she was complicit is ruining?

But if he chose Betty…

Juliette pushes the voice back, silencing it before it could expand on that possibility. Because that couldn’t be real. Adam couldn’t take back everything he had said to Juliette, he wouldn’t. And call her selfish, call her a bitch, call her whatever you wanted to, but Adam was hers.

And he would prove it to her.

Betty was here, in person. Adam could talk to her face-to-face. It was exactly what he had told Juliette to wait for, to be patient for. And the universe blessed them by allowing the moment to happen here, in Calgary where Juliette was, instead of in a city two provinces away.

All Juliette had to do was wait a little longer. And then Adam would be hers. Completely.

Just like he promised.

*~* 3 days later *~*

She’s gone. Can I come over? Message received July 30th at 5:28pm

Door’s unlocked. Message sent July 30th at 5:36pm

*~*~*~*~*

Juliette hears her front door open and it takes all her willpower not to move from her spot on her bed. She hears Adam lock the deadbolt before his assured footsteps move through her apartment towards her bedroom. It only takes a minute until he appears in the doorway, his eyes landing on Juliette sitting on top of her sheets, back against the pillows.

The way his face softens when he sees her makes Juliette’s heart flutter and before she can blink, his long strides cross her room until his shins hit the edge of her mattress. Adam leans forward, his hands reaching out and Juliette feels his callused fingers wrap around her ankles. A gasp is torn out of her mouth as Adam grips her tight, pulling her down the bed towards him. His broad body covers her and he crashes his lips onto hers, throwing her legs around his hips.

Juliette’s reaction is instinctual, following Adam’s lead, legs pulling his hips down to hers, her hands coming to tangle in his hair. The kisses that pass between them are fierce, desperate, and Juliette can feel the desire pouring from Adam as his hands constantly move across her frame.

They move in-sync, bodies rolling against one another as Adam’s lips drift away, moving to her neck as his hands sneak under her t-shirt. Small moans are all that Juliette can muster as Adam’s lips continue to move across her skin, the feeling of his touch after three days of no-contact making her head spin.

A sharp gasp rips from Juliette’s chest as Adam gently bites her throat before moving over the slight indents, marking her. Claiming her once again.

But was she his to claim?

That thought is what jolts Juliette back to the issue that still lingered unresolved between them. The issue of Adam’s girlfriend. And the remembrance of Betty – of her blonde hair and deep brown eyes – crashes over Juliette like a cold morning dip in the lake, dousing the fire of passion that had been steadily building.

“Adam,” she says, her voice a little breathless. Adam does not stop, his lips still moving against her skin and Juliette tries not to get lost in the feeling. “Adam,” she tries again, placing her hands on his shoulders in an attempt to push him away. “Adam! Stop.”

Juliette finally manages to shove Adam off her, her eyes connecting with his as she takes in his puzzled stare, his hands dropping down to rest on her hips as he remains standing over her. The way his hair is mussed and how his pupils are blown wide causes an ache in Juliette that she silences, keeping it at bay until she has the answers that she needs.

“Is it over?” she asks him, propping herself up on her elbows, staring him down.

“Is what over?”

“You and Betty. Is it done?”

Juliette watches as Adam’s eyebrows furrow in confusion, his mouth opening and closing like a fish and his reluctance is what causes Juliette’s frustration to take over.

“Jesus Christ, Adam did you break up with her or not?” she snaps, pushing Adam’s hands off her body as she sits upright, Adam retreating a few steps back, either in shock or politeness, giving her space. The answer seems to be shock when Adam speaks again.

“What are you talking about?”

“What do you mean ‘what am I talking about’? She was here, Adam. You were face to face with her. You could breakup with her in person. Isn’t that what you were waiting for?”

“Jules,” Adam starts again, moving back towards his, his hands outstretched. “I –”

“No,” Juliette says, lifting herself up off the bed and placing a hand on his chest, stopping his forward momentum. “You don’t get to avoid this. Did you or did you not break up with her?”

Juliette can feel Adam’s chest raise under her palm in a sigh, his eyes turning away from her to stare out the window. The pause continues to stretch between them and because of that, because of how long it is taking Adam to tell her the truth, Juliette already knows what the truth is before he says it.

“I couldn’t do that to her.”

However, even though she knew those were going to be the words he spoke, it didn’t mean they hurt any less.

“Why not?” Juliette asks, feeling the cracks in her heart start to form as she stares at Adam, trying to decipher his expression, trying to see into his mind and find out what he was thinking.

“Because… she was only here for a weekend. And if I told her, she would have had to go back to our house and pack up and do that all herself. Jules, it would be cruel.”

“Oh, so you want to hold her hand through it all?” Juliette scoffs and it’s her anger that pulls Adam’s eyes back to her. “What makes you think she would even want you around? Maybe, if you broke up with her, she would welcome the distance. Especially when you told her about me and you.”

“She can’t know.”

“She can’t know what?”

“She can’t know I’m breaking up with her because of you.”

“Because of me?” Juliette asks, her voice incredulous and it is only then do the floodgates open. “Oh, okay, so, this is my fault now?”

“Jules, you know I didn’t mean it like that,” Adam tries to explain taking another step towards her but Juliette holds up her hand again while taking a step away from him.

“No, no, I see how it is. I’m the one that lead you into temptation and now I’m the one demanding that you break up with your girlfriend. Is that right?” Juliette rants, the tears building steadily, her voice getting thick.

“Jules – ”

“Because she’s all yours. She’s the one you want. You would die if you didn’t have her, right? Because it’s always been Betty. Hasn’t it?”

There is a pause as Juliette lets her words sink in, lets Adam register and recognize them. The words that he whispered in this same bedroom every morning he woke up here. And when Juliette sees that realization wash over Adam’s face, she doesn’t even try to stop the small satisfied huff of laughter that escapes. Even though it ends up sounding more like a sob as the tears finally start falling down her freckled cheeks.

“Or is that me? Are those the things that you told me? Back when you promised that all I had to do was be patient and then you would be mine completely,” she continues, not bothering to brush the tears away. “You think that breaking up with Betty is cruel? What do you think this is? What do you think about what you’re doing to me?”

Juliette holds Adam’s stare, almost forcing him to look at her, to see how much he was hurting her. She wanted him to know there was no hiding from this, there was no running from this. This is what he did and now he had to face it.

“You can’t have both of us, Adam. If you want me the way you’ve said that you want me, then you have to choose me. Because I can’t do this with you anymore.”

The ultimatum hangs in the air, awaiting Adam’s response and Juliette hangs with it. She watches as Adam tears his eyes away from her, his head ducking down in defeat. He speaks again, his voice so soft that under any other circumstance, Juliette might be straining to hear him. But the words he says ring loudly throughout the room, ricocheting right into her chest and shattering her already fragile heart.

“I’m sorry Jules but… I can’t. Not right now.”

The words cut like a shotgun shot to the heart and she collapses back onto the edge of her bed, the hurt clearly painted on her face. She continues to look at him, hoping he would glance up and maybe take back his words. But when he doesn’t – when Adam’s eyes stay locked to the wooden floor, she finally tears her own eyes away from him, pushing back the tears that were still coming.

“Then get out. Get out of my house. Get out of my life,” Juliette chokes out, trying desperately to put as much malice behind the words as she could. “I never want to see you again.”

The room is silent for a moment until Juliette hears Adam move and the sound of his footsteps retreat, the distance between her and him growing further and further with every step. She listens to the sound of them fading, his departure finally punctuated by the echo of her front door closing.

And when that sound hits her eardrums, that’s when the rest of her strength gives out and Juliette’s head collapses into her hands, the tears now falling freely. She sits there and weeps; she doesn’t know how long for. She just cries until the tears are gone, until she feels like she has properly mourned the loss.

The loss of everything she could’ve had.

The loss of everything she never really had to begin with.

*~*~*~*~*

In the aftermath, Juliette attempts to heal. Attempt being the opportune word.

It is difficult, one of the worst breakups that she had ever experienced. Even though she didn’t know if this could even be classified as a breakup. What was it called when you lost someone who was never actually yours?

Still, the lack of definition didn’t dull the pain. In fact, it just exacerbated it. Her heart felt like it was cut open and she had to try to stich it back together. She had to sweep up the ashes of the once blazing passion that had now been extinguished. She had to try and move on.

But moving on was easier said than done. Especially when Adam’s ghost came back to her every night and every morning, she swore that she could still taste him on her lips. It became so bad that eventually she would just lie in bed staring at the ceiling fan, picking apart everything; every word spoken to her, every interaction they shared to see if there was an indication that this would be the inevitable conclusion, until sleep finally overtook her.

She spends days alone in her apartment, drinking every bottle of wine that she owned trying to erase Adam from her mind.

She ignores messages from friends, inviting her out to parties and hangouts because she knew there was a possibility that Adam would be there. And she wasn’t strong enough to face him without being pulled back into his inescapable gravity.

But the solitude doesn’t help either. Because in the silence contained within her apartment walls, all Juliette had was her thoughts. And her thoughts are anything but kind.

They were filled with the memories of Adam and her. They were filled with the knowledge that Adam is going to go back to Betty. It makes her sick to think of Adam holding Betty close, of him never telling her about what he did this summer, about Adam lying to her face and Betty being none the wiser.

But it also makes her sick to think about Adam holding Betty to him and continuing to build a life with her. Leaving Juliette and everything he promised her behind.

Juliette’s distance is eventually noticed and one day, Elsie and Even show up on Juliette’s doorstep, demanding to know what was going on.

And Juliette tells them everything. Everything.

She is terrified that they would judge her, criticize her for willingly going along with something so immoral for months. But they don’t. Perhaps it was because they felt sorry for her. Perhaps it was because they understood that while she carried some of the blame, she was more so an accomplice rather than the perpetrator. Perhaps it was because it was easy to blame the man that had only reappeared after eight years of absence rather than the friend that had been by their side for almost thirteen years.

Whatever the reason, they threw themselves into helping Juliette heal.

It felt like high school again; sleepovers at each other’s houses, staying up all night watching terrible movies, talking until the sun came up. Going to parties together and staying by each other’s sides for the entire night. And whenever they corralled Juliette out of a party early, she knew in the back of her mind it was because Adam had shown up. But she didn’t mind because it meant that they were watching out for her. And for that she was thankful.

There were still times where Elise drank a little too much, the alcohol loosening her tongue as she trashes Adam, cursing him for what he had done. And Juliette has to stop herself from defending the man that broke her heart. But those moments were few and far between.

Juliette never pushed away Elsie or Evan’s support, regardless of whether or not they saw things differently. Because without them, she was certain she would still be waking up alone, hungover and heartbroken.

However, while Elsie and Evan were a great help, Juliette was learning to heal without them.

At one point, Juliette started to drive to lakeside alone, late at night. It was there where she stood out on the shore, watching the moonlight ripple over the still water. Sometimes she would dive in, letting the late summer waves wash away any lingering heartache.

It was there that her examination of her relationship with Adam and the words he had said to her yielded a harsh truth; she had never known him. Nostalgia and lust twisted Adam into someone he wasn’t. When he was lying next to her, twisted in her bedsheets, he was an angel, washed pure by the flame he had ignited within Juliette.

That was the reason losing him hurt so much. Because in that moment, on that day in July, he told her exactly who he was. And the illusion had shattered.

Some nights, she wished he remained unknown to her.

Some nights, she wished he never came back into her life.

That way she could’ve kept the memory of the sweet boy from high school. The one who was assigned the seat next to her in homeroom because their last names were only a few letters apart. The one who welcomed her into his friend group without hesitation. The one who quickly became her best friend.

The person she fell in love with all those summers ago.

But that wasn’t who he was anymore. And so, Juliette finally learned to let the fantasy go.

August slipped away.

And so did Adam.

*~*~*~*~*

The strong knock on Juliette’s door pulls her attention away from the oven filled with sweet potato fries. She glances at her watch, confused that Elsie had arrived almost an hour earlier than she said she would. But Juliette shrugs, moving from the kitchen to the entryway, ready to let her in.

Maybe it was a good thing that Elsie was early. After all, based on how this season of the Bachelor was going, Juliette thought that it might be a good idea for the two of them to chug a glass of wine before even starting the finale.

Juliette doesn’t bother looking through her peephole, unlocking the door and swinging it open. But when she sees the silhouette of the person standing on her doorstep, she realizes that she should’ve at least double-checked to see who was standing outside.

Because standing there on the other side of her threshold… was Adam.

The man that she hadn’t seen or interacted with in almost two months.

“Can I come in?” he asks, the baseball cap perched on his head, his piercing blue eyes peering out from underneath the brim.

Juliette knows that the right thing to do would be to slam the door in his face. She told him that she never wanted to see him again and he had done a good job at disappearing from her life, just like she asked. But now he was back, standing on her doorstep, asking to be let in.

And before Juliette can think better of it, she’s stepping to the side, a silent invitation for Adam to enter her apartment.

He accepts, walking in and taking off his hat, his hand coming to run through his hair as he takes in the scene of her living room.

“The Bachelor?”

“Yeah, the season finale is tonight,” she explains, closing the door behind her, her eyes never leaving Adam’s frame.

“Expecting someone else?” he asks, vaguely pointing to the bottle and two wine glasses perched on her glass coffee table.

“Elsie.”

Adam’s reply is a hum as his eyes continue to dart around the room. It isn’t until now that Juliette realizes that he has yet to look at her.

“What are you doing here Adam?” she asks, crossing her arms in front of her, the sharpness of her voice finally pulling Adam’s attention to her. She hates the way her heart still lets out a small flutter at the sight of his expression softening as his eyes land on her.

“I just want to say that I was wrong. For not doing exactly what you asked me to.”

“What do you – ”

“I’m going to break up with Betty,” he says, cutting off her question. The words are uttered so fast that it takes a moment for Juliette to fully register them. And when she does, she can feel her expression twist from confusion to disbelief. Adam reads her reaction before continuing.

“I go back to Winnipeg in a week and as soon as I’m there, I’m going to tell her it’s over.  But I just wanted to tell you first.”

“Why?” Juliette asks, feeling her heart start to pound in the anticipation of receiving Adam’s response.

“I was hoping that…” he starts, his words stilted and awkward as his gaze reverts to darting around the room. Juliette watches as he takes a deep breath, closing his eyes as if he was readying himself to say the words he was about to speak. His eyes return to hers and Juliette can feel her breath catch in her throat at the fierce determination in his gaze.

“I still feel the same way that I did about you, Jules. You’re the only one for me and I’m sorry that I made you wait so long to hear me say this. I never wanted to hurt anyone but because of that, I ended up hurting you. I promise I’ll never leave you again.”

Every sentence, every declaration is punctuated by Adam taking a step towards her and Juliette doesn’t retreat, doesn’t move. Just lets him continue his steady approach until his hands are resting on her hips, holding her close.

“I want all of you, Jules,” he whispers, leaning down to press a kiss into the crown of her head. “My beautiful Jules.”

It was everything that Juliette had wanted to hear, everything she waited for during those three months of sneaking around, of stolen moments and pretty lies. And perhaps if the two of them were still back there, back in the heat of June, back at the beginning of summer with all it’s hope possibility, perhaps Juliette would take him back.

But now, in the September chill… it was too little, too late.

“Let go of me, Adam,” she whispers, keeping her body stiff in his hold. She doesn’t relax until she feels Adam’s hands withdraw and it is only when she feels the space between the two of their bodies widen that she looks up at him.

“I don’t – I don’t believe you,” she says and as soon as the words hit Adam, Juliette can see the distance appear in his eyes. There is still a small part of her body that aches as she can see the defeat wash over him but she continues, not willing to let him strip away the strength that she found in his absence. “I can’t trust you, Adam. And there’s no way I can know that you mean what you say. Especially when you’re in another city, a thousand kilometers away.”

Juliette lets her words linger in the air between them, willing Adam to listen to her, to understand how he hurt her the last time he was in her apartment, when he went back on the same exact promise. The pause lasts for a minute or two before a small sigh falls from Juliette’s lips.

“I can’t go through this with you again.”

The rejection feels like a slamming door, shutting out any lingering warmth from a summer love that seemed so real. But even though it hurt and even though there was still a part of Juliette that wanted to chase the sun and bask in its light for a little while longer, she knew that if she did, she would just get burned.

Both her and Adam stand there, appraising each other and she knows that one of them is going to break first, one of them is going to take back the words just spoken. But it wasn’t going to be her. Maybe she used to be willing to give up everything to keep him close – because even though it would hurt, she would get to wake up next to him every morning – but she couldn’t do it now.

Finally, Adam sighs, understanding that he lost the battle.

“I understand,” he says, moving towards the front door, passing by Juliette with a brush of his arm against hers.

But unlike the last time Adam left her apartment, Juliette turns to watch him leave. Her eyes track his movement to the front door, watching as he swings it open. But before he steps out into the autumn evening, he looks back at her and Juliette can see the ocean waves of sadness in his blue eyes.

“Jules,” he whispers. There is an exquisite pang that echoes through the chambers of her heart at the nickname, the nickname meant only for her. A name that she will most likely never hear again. “I’m sorry.”

“I am too.”

Her words are the final sentence spoken, Adam walking out and closing the door behind him. And Juliette expects that seeing him leave would hurt just as much as it did the last time.

But it doesn’t.

*~*~*~*~*

I think about us a lot. I don’t know if it’s the end of the chapter and you’ll return later on or it’s the end of the story. But I love you. I miss you. I’m sorry this is the way it became.

[naomi-nana]

🍓 :: double surprises (f!reader)

"Chuuuuyaaaaaaaa~~~~" a voice was heard from inside the mafia, nakahara chuuya's office. Chuuya look up to the girl infront of him, she looked happy as she was hiding something behind her that seemed like a box, a big one at that.

"What do you want, y/n? And no, stop telling me to play dress up with you and elise." He answered, the girl looks at him with shocked face and disbelief.

"I can't believe you just said that to me! Besides, i'm not here to force you to play dress up with me and elise. I'm here to show you something!" Said the girl grinning, chuuya looks at her with a straight face.

"There's no need to tell me that, it's already obvious from the box you're holding behind your back." He answered, pointing his finger towards the box.

"Tch, and here i thought you weren't going to find out about it."

"The box is clearly big enough to be seen you idiot, even dazai wouldn't be able to hide it with his body."

"ANYWAYSSS..who cares if you can see the box? The surprise is inside the box and not the box itself! So i shouldn't be worrying about it too much!" The girl said with the biggest smile on her face.

"Okay fine, what's inside of the box anyways?" Chuuya asked while standing up from his chair, walking towards the girl.

"Hehe, open up!" Said the girl hiding her hand behind her back. Chuuya looks at her with a suspicious look but opens the box anyways. When he opens the box, all he saw is a paper.

"..what the hell is this? Are you pranking me?"

"NO! Why would i prank my beloved-sugar-boo(/joke) anyways🥺"

"Stop using that fucking pet name y/n."

"Okay okay fine, just—come with me." She said as she drag chuuya out of the office.

"Hey—where the hell are you dragging me to?!"

"Just shut up and you will know about it!~" Y/n said as she looks back at him.

-timeskip-

"What..why the hell would you bring me to a pet shop?" Chuuya looks at her with a look of disbelief.

"Oh come on, you bring the paper, right?"

"Uh, yeah?"

"Exactly, now give it to me!" Y/n snatches the paper from Chuuya's hand and goes inside the pet shop while holding his hand. If you asked Chuuya how he feels about this, he can't help but feels kinda..warm? Maybe, and a little embarrassed.

"Saying 'exactly' does not help you with explaining stuff, Y/n."

As Y/n do her thing, Chuuya sits on one of the chair inside the pet shop and stared at her. Oh what a beauty she is, her hair, her eyes, her face, her personality..everything is perfect about her. Chuuya feels like he didn't deserve such a beauty like her.

Chuuya looks at his pocket and pulls out something from his pocket that looked like a ring, he thought to himself, '..is this the right time for me to give it to her? I mean, i have to be fast. Otherwise other guys would snatch her away from me. Alright, this is the right time i guess, i just need to wait for her to finish.'

Y/n walked to Chuuya and showed him something, a..pet—puppy, actually. "TADAAA!! Hehe, do you like it, chuu? This was actually supposed to be your birthday present but i was really busy with my stuff so i wasn't able to give it to you in time. I've already planned this for long enough though. Boss just gives us too many work T^T"

Chuuya looks at her with wide eyes, so this is what she is been hiding from him? A puppy? ".....I like it, love. No, i loved it. I really do." He said as he takes the puppy to his arms, smiling.

"Hehee, glad you liked it! What do you want to name him??" Y/n looks at him with excited face, ahh chuuya can't take it anymore. She is so cute.

"Let's name him shino, i guess." He said looking at the puppy.

"Ooh! I liked the sound of Shino! It's really cuteee"

"Yeah..oh, right. I have..other stuff, to show you. But not here, let's go to the park nearby." Chuuya said, Y/n was a little bit surprised by the change of tone in his voice, one minute was he being soft because of a puppy, and now he sounds really serious.

"Oh, okay, sure.."

-at the park-

Y/n put the puppy at the pet shop for a while because she thought this is serious stuff and she can't get innocent animals gets involved in this. Especially because she payed for that animal, it's really expensive too.

"So..what do you want to talk about chuuya? Is it about dazai? Missions? Or your subordinates?" Y/n looks at him with curiosity, and a little-bit of seriousness too. Yes, a little bit.

"Um, okay so uhh..we've been dating for a while..no, actually, for 4 years and i feel really happy when i'm around you. Like—i feel warm and i feel safe. You are my home, y/n. I always feel sad whenever i see you sad, because of your insecurity, because of your ability, because of your problems, because of your family and lots of stuff..but i just wanted to let you know that i'm here for you, and i always are just like how you are always here to me. You always helped me, you cooked for me, you always gives me the courage to continue on in life and i love that about you. And i wanted to also do the same for you, i hope you feel warm and safe when around me too. I hope you feel the same feelings as i did, and..i wanted to take our relationship further more. I love you with all my heart, So.." Chuuya takes out the ring from his pocket and handed it out to Y/n, "will you, Y/n L/n, marry me and become with me for the rest of my life?"

Y/n looks at chuuya with a teary eyes, hearing the whole stuff chuuya said has made her feel appreciated. Lots of stuff happens to her yet anyone who has talked to her never said all those stuff to her, chuuya made her realize that there are still people who cares about her. Y/n starts to burst into tears when she thinks more of it.

"Chuuya, i love you too. And—yes..i accept."

hello, author here! i apologize if anyone has already made the same exact fanfic before me. i probably do not know of it. if you've made the same exact fanfic as mine, please dm me if you want me to take it down.

© property of naomi-nana, do not plagiarize.

[kissesforsatoru]

Hey could you write some general yandere mori headcanons?

𓏲 ˖. pairings. . . mori x reader

𓏲 ˖. summary. . . general yan! mori hc's

𓏲 ˖. warnings. . . general yandere themes, kidnapping, implied physical abuse, smut, mentions of public sex.

– i have mixed feelings about yandere mori. at times he can be pretty intense and quite overbearing, but he can also be soft and doting.

– the two of you met while he was out shopping with elise, a chance meeting. you were another customer in the store, looking through a rack of clothing in the back when he and elise walked in. he didn't really notice you at first, but when elise refused to let mori help her try on a dress, you offered to help her instead.

– he listened as you told her how beautiful she looked when you finished zipping up the back of her dress. she giggled and dragged you out of the dressing room to go find more dresses you could help her try on.

– honestly at first, mori was a little upset that elise chose you over him, but as he observed the two of you interact, he quickly disregarded being upset. he was far more interested in you.

– you looked so cute with a blush on your face while elise was dragging you around the store, handing you clothes and talking on and on about random things. he actually found himself growing uncomfortable in his pants as he thought about things he shouldn't think of a stranger he hasn't even talked to.

– when elise finally got bored of shopping, he quickly apologized for her behavior and then he left without saying anything else. but, he couldn't stop thinking about you when he got back home, so he ordered one of his men to find out who you were.

– in a matter of just a few days, he knew everything about you — your name, where you live, where you work, who your friends and family are, like literally everything. he's read the information gathered about you multiple times, carefully taking it in and memorizing every detail there is to know about you because he couldn't get enough of you. he was so obsessed with you, even though you two have barely had a proper interaction.

– mori gets what he wants one way or another, and that doesn't exclude you. he doesn't doesn't resort to manipulation or blackmail to get you, because that takes far too long and he couldn't wait to have you with him, instead he just ordered his men to kidnap you and bring you to him.

– he likes dressing you up in cute clothes the same as he does with elise, but unlike her, you don't really have a choice. whenever you walk into his office after changing into something he picked out, he'll pull you onto his lap and coo about how cute you look. he adores how you blush and try and hide yourself in his chest 'cause you're embarrassed. those moments between you are sweet, but there are times his thoughts drift to not so innocent things. he'll get turned on just by looking at you, and having you in his lap, pressing against his growing hard on doesn't help at all, so he'll end up fucking you against his desk.

– if you ever try to refuse him, you'll be punished — and his punishments are horrible. since he's a doctor, he doesn't really have any qualms about hurting you physically since he can just use his medical prowess to heal your injuries. he's really manipulative and guilt trips you a lot when punishments happen. he'll tell you how it hurts him far more than it hurts you, and how he just hates seeing you in pain and he especially doesn't like having to taint your body with scars and bruises. the first part is only half true because the look of fear and unease on your face kind of amuses him.

– mori loves showing you off. he brings you, dressed in those cute little outfits he has you wear, almost everywhere with him. during meetings and stuff like that, he'll have you in his lap so that everyone can see just how adorable you are. but he can get jealous sometimes. like when people stare for a little too long, or they make some comment about sharing you. he'll suck hickeys on your neck or kiss you while staring directly at them when that happens. and if he's really jealous he might resort to fucking you in front of them.

– during sex, mori is actually really soft and sweet. he's a bit vanilla, but kinky enough that it's not boring. he loves giving oral cause he adores your cute little moans and whimpers. he's like really good at it too, so he can definitely make you cum within minutes if he wanted to. but generally he likes taking things slow, teasing your body and building up your arousal till you're soaked and absolutely ready for him to fuck you. he'll whisper praises into your ear while his cock is buried deep inside of you, hitting your sweetest spots.

– he'll spoil you at any chance he gets. if you mention liking something then he'll go out and buy it or he'll order it online to suprise you with when it arrives. you can expect random gifts from him all the time, cause he really has no self control at all. if you feel bad when people spend money on you, and you try to convince him not to get you anything, he won't care or listen because he just loves to spoil and dote on you.

– mostly mori is one of those yanderes that can either be really bad or really good, it honestly just depends.

© 2022 by hheizoukiss ━ all rights reserved. plagiarism is strictly prohibited. comments, likes, and reblog are highly appreciated.

[dinosaurtsukki]

random bungou stray dogs hc's that exist in my head

a/n: no real reason for me writing this other than the fact that i’m depressed and need to procrastinate on my studies and other WIP’s dklajdlas hope you guys like this (there might be a pt. 2)

akutagawa is Banned from drinking coffee. mori himself forbids him from ever drinking it

thats because the first time he drank it (in a meeting when chuuya was serving coffee) he just went completely fidgety and broke the ceiling with rashomon

so no coffee for him. ever.

higuchi tries to quit coffee too because akutagawa-senpai doesn’t drink. she ended up crying on day 3 without coffee

also, contrary to what everyone thinks, akutagawa is very much a cat person

he doesn’t go out of his way to pet cats but he thinks they’re cool and doesn’t mind if they rub themselves against his legs

and then fukuzawa was walking around and found akutagawa pretty much doing nothing and is yet still surrounded by cats and he feels so fUCKING BETRAYED

he carries cat snacks and everything AND THE CATS STILL WON’T NOTICE HIM

fukuzawa feels a bit better about atsushi wrecking akutagawa’s ass in their first fight

ranpo visits the convenience store near his house SO MUCH that all the employees already know him by name

ranpo thus makes it a point to remember their names and ask a lot of personal questions about their life that he just randomly deduced

sometimes he opens the snacks and eats them already without paying for them but they let ranpo off the hook

dazai actually knows how to play the keytar. he learned back when he was in the mafia because it pissed off chuuya so much

he also cuts his hair by himself but it always ends up disaster so he calls kunikida to help him 

at first kunikida’s like ‘no it’s not in my schedule’ but dazai sends him a pic and he’s like ‘ok i’m on my way’ 

he’s actually very, very intimidated by the sole fact that someone like kenji exists 

that’s because dazai accidentally opened up about his entire life story to kenji after just a few minutes of knowing each other and the fact that kenji hasn’t used it to his advantage frightens him

everyone in the ADA has tried to scare kenji at some point but every single one of them failed

kenji likes giving people cow-print socks on christmas and they look horrendous but everyone wears them

atsushi loves collecting mugs and whenever he buys one, he always buys another one for kyouka

that said, recipes involving mugs and a microwave fascinate him and he tries to make mug cakes as much as he can

kyouka personally isn’t a fan of these mug cakes (she thinks they’re weird) but it makes atsushi happy so she can’t bring herself to say no

atsushi has only said ‘fuck’ once and that was after he was so shocked at hearing kyouka say ‘fuck’ that he just yelled ‘KYOUKA-CHAN SAID FUCK’ only for dazai to go ‘ATSUSHI SAID FUCK’ 

not a good time for fukuzawa and kunikida to come in with a very esteemed visitor

kunikida does a fair amount of yoga to keep himself sane

but he does have a tendency to emit a low-pitch scream when the instructors tell them to let out their worries

he has a book full of crossword puzzles that he likes to work on in his spare time but then one day he came to the office to find that ranpo had filled out every single one

kunikida has never considered punching ranpo but he did for one second

he is ASHAMED of this but he did use his notebook once in a while to make a spare key to his apartment because he keeps losing his keys

jk dazai steals them from him

chuuya makes Really Good Coffee, specializing in drip coffee in particular

the reason why he wears black a lot is because the coffee stains would be less visible

he’s actually REALLY BAD at technology. he’s been so busy working at the mafia that the whole smartphone revolution went past his head but he still only knows how to work a flip phone

yosano sometimes wears a nice dress to work but that’s only when all her other clothes are in the laundry

she actually visits the port mafia casinos quite often and is a sucker for slot machines. she wears a really long coat when she goes to visit and mori was pretty sure he saw her once

yosano definitely saw him and proceeded to hit her head against the slot machine so that she’d look like just another crazy casino-goer

the tanizaki siblings love buying matching phone charms and switching them out every few weeks

they actually rehearsed that part where tanizaki pretended to bomb the agency with a whole script and everything

tanizaki has maybe used his light snow once in a while to skip out on work and play video games in the corner and ranpo noticed but he promised not to say as long as he was in on it

chuuya accidentally called kouyou ‘mom’ at one point and the two of them just stared at each other before swearing to never speak about it again

kouyou has probably used golden snow once in a while to help her dress and she needs help with dressing because she conceals knives everywhere 

the metal detectors light up like a christmas tree whenever she passes by them so no, she doesn’t go to malls much

while elise has a sweet tooth, mori is really into salty food. it’s quite addicting for him actually

for the longest time, people thought that the mug on his desk was full of coffee but no, it’s actually just salted peanuts that he snacks on while doing paperwork

he actually doesn’t know how to play chess. people assume he does because he’s an evil mastermind but mori can’t remember the rules please stop asking him if he can play chess

***********************************************

taglist (check out my post for details on being part of my taglist): @waitforitillwritemywayout @tpwkatsumu @laure-chan

[ladydimitrescuspet]

Make Me Feel Better - Chapter 1

think of this as a sequel to bubble bath! don’t worry, there will be some flashbacks here and there! I’ve no idea how long I’ll make this so bear with me! hope y’all enjoy this! ao3 link!

***

“Y/N, let’s go play!” Elise giggled as she ran into your room.

You were half asleep. “What?” You asked, your voice all groggy.

“Get dressed. We need you to come play with us.” Elise replied before exiting the room, giving you no time to argue.

You sighed as you pushed the covers and got up. It was one of those rare times where you slept in your room instead of Alcina’s. She’d been up late and you’d come to your room to get something but ended up curling up on the bed and falling asleep in a matter of seconds. You knew Alcina had come into the room at some point to find you asleep, but left you in your bed so she didn’t wake you because the smell of her perfume was still wafting through the air. You made your way downstairs to find Daniela, Elise, and Victoria standing by the door waiting for you.

“Listen, human, you’re in charge of the games we play so they better be fun.” Daniela said before she walked out the door.

Elise smiled at you. “Dani’s just grumpy we made her get up so early. Vic’ll help you out with games.” Elise said before she disappeared.

“And then there were two.” You said with a small laugh.

“Come on, Y/N, we’ll have fun and Dani will start to warm up to you.” Victoria hooked her arm with yours and the two of you went to go find Daniela and Elise. The four of you ended up mostly playing tag because it was all Daniela wanted to do.

“Hey, Daniela, can we play something else now?” You asked. You were getting tired of being chased around.

Daniela frowned. “I don’t want to play anything else besides tag.” Daniela replied.

Victoria rolled her eyes. “Dani, we can play more tag later. You told Y/N that they were in charge of games so let them pick the next one.” Victoria said.

Daniela shook her head. “Why are you taking the human’s side? You’re my sister, you’re supposed to agree with me!” Daniela replied, her voice was a little loud.

“Victoria’s right, we can play more tag later. How about we play some soccer? That’s fun and you still get to run around too.” You said as you walked over to her. “I know I’m not your favourite here, but I’m trying to make it work with you.” You said.

“Whatever, human. No matter how hard you try, it’s not going to work. Mother may have fallen for your charm, but I’m not going to so leave me the fuck alone. Do you understand? Stop trying to be my fucking friend. I don’t want you here. I want you dead. Why don’t you fucking understand that? Are you not smart enough to see all of the signs? All of the times I’ve tried to make you fuck up so Mother would turn her nose up to you and let me break you like the fragile little toy that you are?” Daniela practically screamed at you. You slowly began to back away from her, but for every step backwards Daniela took one step forward. “I’ve tried to tolerate you and all of your modern day bullshit, but I am fucking sick and tired of it. Vic and El may be impressed and fascinated by whatever the fuck wifi is but I don’t give two shits. And just for the record, it’s called football not soccer. But then again, you’re not smart enough to understand that are you? You’re so pathetic. Maybe I should just kill you right now. Mother’s not here and my sisters won’t do a damn thing about it.” Daniela threatened. You were honestly scared for your life, tears were forming in your eyes at her words.

“Daniela!” A voice boomed across the field that the four of you were in. You turned to see Alcina standing a few hundred feet away. Knowing her and her super hearing, she probably heard most of what Daniela said. Alcina started walking towards where you all were standing, it didn’t take her long to get there. “If I ever hear you disrespecting Y/N like that again, not only will you lose your tongue but I will ground you for a century. Do you understand that?” Alcina asked.

Daniela rolled her eyes at her Mother. “Like I give two fucks, Mother. Can’t you see what that disgusting human is doing to you? To your daughters? It’s like they have you under some kind of spell that you can’t break free of.” Daniela said before she looked at you. “You will not get away this. Watch your back, you piece of shit.” Daniela said before turning into a swarm of insects and heading towards the castle.

You looked between Alcina and her two other daughters before you started running towards the garden, tears falling down your face.

“I’ll take care of it. Go find your sister, girls. Take her to Mother Miranda for right now, I’ve no time for her and her foolishness.” Alcina said to her daughters before heading after you. “Y/N, dear, where’d you go?” Alcina called out as she stopped in front of the gardens. It was quite huge and she really didn’t want to come look for you.

You could hear Alcina’s voice from where you were in the gardens. A part of you wanted her to come to you and comfort you, but there was another part of you that just wanted to be alone. Ultimately, you decided that it would probably be best to let Alcina comfort you after the harsh words her daughter spewed at you.

“Alci, why does Daniela hate me so much?” You asked as you walked into her open arms. Your tears had dried up, but you could feel more forming as you thought about what Daniela said. “She said that I was a fragile little toy and that she was waiting for you to let her break me.” You said, your voice was almost a whisper but Alcina heard you.

Alcina picked you up and held you to her closely. “I won’t let her hurt you, Y/N.” Alcina replied. “I won’t let anyone hurt you, I promise.” You nodded against her shoulder, her words of some comfort to you. You pressed a small kiss to Alcina’s shoulder as she carried you into the castle and made her way to her chamber’s.  

Once in there she laid you down on the bed. You whimpered softly. “Alci,” You started, not wanting her to leave you, but she cut you off.

“Shh, cel mic.” Alcina said. “Everything will be fine, I promise.” Alcina always kept her promises. That brought you a semblance of peace. It was comforting to know that she would always be there to protect you and would do anything she could to make you feel better.

Alcina walked into her closet to get something and brought out a box, it wasn't small. "This is for later." She said with a small shake of the box causing it to rattle a bit.

You nodded your head and lifted your arms up mentioning for her to come over to you, she did so. "Cuddle?" You asked. Alcina let out a small laugh but laid down next to you in the bed regardless. You laid your head on her left arm and she wrapped the other one around you, squishing you against her boobs. "Nice and squishy." You murmured into her breast causing her to chuckle.

Alcina pressed a small kiss to your forehead. "Do you want to tell me what happened, Iubirea mea?" Alcina asked. You shook your head. "I'm sorry about Daniela." She whispered.

"It's not your fault, Alci. I... I pushed her too much, I think. Ever since I got here, I've just been trying so hard to get her to like me. Victoria and Elise love me, I can't tell you why, but Daniela just hates me. And I can feel it every time we're in the same room together." You said. You moved your head a bit to look up at Alcina. "She only ever calls me human, Al. And a piece of shit. And pathetic." You laughed dryly at the words as you looked back down and started playing with your hands. "Maybe..." You trailed off, you didn't want to finish the sentence.

Alcina raised her eyebrow. "Maybe what, Y/N?" Alcina asked.

"Maybe I should go. I've obviously made Daniela's life and living hell and I didn't even think that that would be possible to do considering the fact that she's a va-" You cut yourself. You heard Alcina sigh, but she remained quiet. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that." You said. "I'll, um, I'll be right back. Okay, Alci?" You got up from your comfy spot on the bed and made your way over to the door.

Alcina frowned and sat up. "Where are you going, my dear?" Alcina asked. You looked back at her and just shook your head before leaving the room. You waited outside the door for a few seconds to see if she'd follow but you didn't hear any movements throughout the room so you made your way downstairs to grab your jacket.

"Natalie!" You called out and a servant appeared right away.

"Yes, Y/N?" Natalie replied.

You hugged her. "If Alcina asks where I am tell her I'm in the gardens. I won't be there, but tell her that I've said not to harm you under any circumstances for lying to her on my behalf. Alcina can get angry very quickly and very violent, but she listens to me, sometimes. I'm sorry to put you in this position, but I need you to do that for me, okay?" Natalie nodded her head. "Thank you." You said before letting her go and heading out the front door of the castle.

It was Autumn so it was slightly chilly in Romania. You knew that Alcina would go looking around the castle for you after a while until she ran into Natalie. You trusted the servant more than anyone else that worked there. She'd gotten not too long after you and the two of you hit it off quite well. Natalie wasn't just any servant, she was the Head of Staff. She was appointed the position five months into being there when you and the Mistress of the castle got together, the position having formerly been yours. The thought of just up and leaving Castle Dimitresu and Alcina made you sad, but you kept walking further and further away from them.

You made it into the village before nightfall. You were able to find a room at the local inn in the village. The room wasn't as nice as Alcina's or even your room at the castle, but it would do for tonight. You sat on the bed and pushed yourself upward until your back hit the headboard and brought your knees to your chest. You turned the light off and just stared between the window and the door. A part of you was hoping that Alcina had been outside looking for you, but you knew that she wouldn't enter the village at night, not even for you.

You were still in the same spot when the first crack of dawn started seeping into the room through the window. You hadn't slept a wink, scared that you'd wake back up in the castle dungeons. You knew that that's where Alcina would take you if she got you back, she'd leave you there for a few nights, keeping you in the darkest cell of the dungeon, away from all the creatures that may lurk around in there. She always made sure that they didn't mess with you, occasionally having either Victoria or Elise come down there to check on you. They would sneak food down there for you and wait until you finished it before leaving, it allowed them to make sure none of the creatures got any ideas on how to enter the tightly locked cell.

You slid off the bed and made your way outside. There were a few villagers out there, most of them heading to work wherever they could find it. They didn't take one glance at you, too busy with their own schedules to pay you any attention. You walked with your head down and at a slightly fast pace until you ran into something, into someone. Your heart rate quickened and you closed your eyes. There was no way Alcina had gotten to you so quickly.

"Y/N, is that you?" The person asked. You looked up in surprise.

You blinked a few times. "Heisenberg?" You replied. He nodded his head and you wrapped your arms around him before quickly pulling away. "Did Alcina send you? Is she here?" You asked, glancing around the village to locate the 9-foot tall vampire.

Heisenberg raised his eyebrow. "Why would my si- Y/N, is everything okay between you two?" Heisenberg asked. You opened your mouth to speak but the only thing you could do was break down crying. Heisenberg immediately threw his arms around in a hug. "Hey now, let it all out. Why don't we go to our special place. Would you like that?" You nodded against his chest. Heisenberg turned around and you got on his back. He knew that you were exhausted and would barely be able to walk to the place he was talking about. Just like the first time you'd met him and was on his back, his heartbeat had lulled you to sleep.

[joonkorre]

(love) is a heartache

@drarrymicrofic prompt: hope is a heartache - léon

let it be known that harry goes through life purely on vibes. half of his reasons why for every decision at his big age are “idk imma just hope for the best”

ao3

People’s hearts twinge sometimes. For Draco, he can barely remember the last time he doesn’t have these twinges. It’s pretty normal at this point.

“No, it’s not,” Pansy says. She’s a Healer, so she’s probably right. But Draco prefers to ignore that.

“Leave it be,” Draco murmurs, lips against her scalp, “I’m fine. Say, are you free tomorrow?”

“Yeah. You want to go somewhere?”

“Mm. Sleep.”

They go out the next morning, Pansy in thick makeup and Draco practically drunk under nine layers of Charms. The air is a bit humid, which seems to get worse when the bustling street intensifies in volume into a roaring din. Pansy pulls him under an awning, yanking at his sleeve a bit to try out her disgusting sugary coffee. She always does this whenever she wants to take his attention away from something, which means he just has to look at exactly where she’s doesn’t want him to. As his lips wrap around her lipstick-stained straw, he glances up.

Across the street, a couple strolls through a gushing crowd. Fiery red hair, airy laughter, a pale arm wrapped around her fiancé’s waist. Curls of black, sleek spectacles, a protective palm on his fiancee’s shoulder. They make the perfect picture, a vibrant oil painting. Their existence is formed from bold strokes of sunlight and starburst kisses, with the focal point being a shock of phthalo green and cadmium lemon, two minute specks that make all the difference. As all good paintings do, they pin the viewer on the spot, as if the viewer himself is a thing to behold. Then they shift away.

The exhibit moves forward and out of sight. It’s closing time, the viewer has overstayed his welcome.

Something leaps in Draco’s chest and splatters on the floor of his stomach. Placing her hand over his heart, Pansy frowns at him. She doesn’t ask why Potter stared at someone who looked like a stranger to him. Only tells him to start finding answers.

Months later, on the most awaited day in recent Wizarding history, there’s a knock on Draco’s door.

He throws on a sweater, and a throw, too, for good measure. Ambling to the door, he checks the mail slot before peeking through the peephole. Nobody but a package is outside. Draco hums and unlocks his door, crouching down the moment it opens. What feels like soft satin brushes against his cheek, cool and smooth. With a flash, a pair of shiny dress shoes appear before him.

“Draco.”

Draco peers up as he rises, hands around the package. Potter has his maddening Invisibility Cloak slung over his arm, his roguish charm heightened by a perfectly fitted three-piece suit. A tiny posy is pinned on his left lapel, muted green hellebores with a few sprigs of privet berries. He’s dressed like a man in love.

Draco feels something he hasn’t felt in months at the sight. He’s trained himself to suppress it the moment it showed itself and has been relatively successful until now. The sting, without warning, bursts from within his chest, calling forth a slight wince. Potter’s brows furrow.

"How do you know where I live?"

“How long has this been going on?”

Draco frowns. “Pardon?”

“That,” Potter gestures at Draco’s chest. “The heartache.”

He rears back. What the hell is he supposed to say to that? At Potter’s unchanging expression, Draco shoves his hair out of his face with a quiet huff and puts a hand on the doorknob.

“It’s none of your business. Please leave.”

“It is, actually,” Potter stops the closing door with one arm.

“Excuse me? We haven't had a proper conversation in more than a decade and suddenly you want to act like we're friends? Leave, now.”

“Listen to me. How can it not be my business when I feel it, too?”

“Check with a Healer, then. If you can put past grudges aside, I can hand you Pansy Parkinson’s business card,” Draco grits through his teeth, pushing against the door with his entire body, his throw slipping to the ground.

“Draco, stop, I already know, stop.”

“Know what? No, I don't care. Leave at once, else I’d alert the Aurors.”

A rough slam sends Draco staggering back. Potter pants, hard lines on his face. His chest heaves under his crisp white shirt, its top two buttons unclasped, and he steps over the threshold, closing the door.

“You think they’d believe you?”

The pain shoots from his chest to the rest of his body, and for several seconds, his lungs wouldn’t work. He whips his head away from Potter, who groans and sags against the wall.

“I told you to leave.”

“I’m sorry, that was a shitty thing to say,” Potter says immediately, sweat dotting his temples.

After an uncomfortable pause, clearing his throat, he picks up the near-forgotten package from the carpet. His hand feels around the outline of the object within, rectangular and heavy. Glancing at Draco, he says hoarsely. “I know why you bought this book.”

“Know this, know that, you know nothing,” Draco lunges forward, only for Potter to twist out of the way and raise the package out of his reach.

“The Life-long Burden of Dark Curses: A Caution by Elise Arrowlane, limited edition,” he says, unbothered by Draco’s slackened jaw. “You ordered it from the new bookstore on Diagon months ago. You were small and old and grey, but I recognized you. I always could.”

“Okay,” Draco sneers, “so you’re a stalker. Old news. Anything else?”

“There’s no need to order one. I would’ve borrowed it from Hermione if you had only asked,” Potter says. “Instead, I got curious and read it for myself. That’s how I connected the dots about the heartache, how I realized we’ve both had it since that day years ago.”

“Oh, the day you slashed me into ribbons and almost cut through my heart?” Draco clenches his jaw.

Being able to shout this ugly kind of truth into the perpetrator’s face feels oddly liberating. That is, if liberation also comes with a specific kind of agony that makes Draco want to fall to his knees.

“Dark Magic leaves a mark on both the wizard and their victim, doesn’t it? No need for a book to tell us that,” Potter says, the harsh afternoon glow of him gentled by the soft lamplight in Draco’s hallway. “In certain cases, it even leaves a link. A connection.”

Draco bites the inside of his cheek and looks away. The only consequence from that horrid night was his fucked up heart and nothing else, nothing at all. Whatever Potter is insinuating, he hates it. He hates this. He hates him.

“How are you so sure there’s a connection.”

“I wasn’t,” Potter says. “The Healers said it’s a health thing I developed after the War and I just needed to avoid strenuous activity. I didn’t think much of it, but then I read the book and realized that it usually flared up whenever you watched me.”

Scoffing, Draco turns and stalks into the kitchen. Walking past the boiling kettle, he throws a cabinet door open and grabs a mug, his hand trembling.

“Interesting how my health suffers when I see the bastard who quite literally carved me open.”

“I was eating dinner when I thought I was going to die of a heart attack at 23,” Potter continues. Draco pulls the drawers out, unable to find a single bag of tea for several excruciating moments. “The next day, I was reading about your mother’s death on the Daily Prophet. That was the first sign.”

Grabbing a rag and wetting it, Draco wipes the countertop even as he’s just done so last night.

“When Ginny saw you on the street during our date and extended her hand toward you, you shook it. But your heart ached.

“I saw you looking at the picture of Ginny and I kissing on the front page of Witch Weekly. Your hair was brown and your back was curved, but I saw you. Your heart ached.

“When I announced my engagement to her on the Battle of Hogwarts’s 10th Anniversary, you were clapping along with everyone else. But your heart ached.”

Draco throws the rag on the counter. The kettle whistles, a piercing sound. “What’s your point? Are you here purely to flaunt your relationship and imply that I’m in love with Ginevra Weasley? If so, I got it. Thank you so very much, it’s been enlightening. Now get out.”

“The point is,” Potter says, lifting the kettle off the burner to pour it into Draco’s mug, placing his tea bag in, “unless the article about you being gay was wrong, Ginny isn’t the one you’re in love with.”

“What arti—” Draco stops. “That was years ago.”

His sexuality was leaked to some irrelevant gossip rag, not even making the front page. Nobody noticed, nothing changed, and it hasn’t entered his mind in what feels like forever until Potter reminds him.

“I remember.”

“You—” Draco frowns. His eyes strain on the cup of tea until they hurt. He squeezes them shut, sighing. “It doesn’t prove anything. Perhaps I’m jealous of my childhood nemesis having a better life than me, ever thought of that?”

“Yeah,” Potter says, “I’ve thought about this a lot. Which is why I’m here. To make sure.”

Draco takes it in, then, unable to help himself, curls his lips at Potter and his attire. At his artfully gelled hair, his hanging bow tie, the elegant boutonniere on the lapel of his dark blue suit. His empty ring finger.

“Couldn’t you have chosen a better date to make sure? Preferably before your wedding day?”

Potter steps closer. A respectable distance away, but closer.

“I could’ve, but I spent most of those days in denial. Then the dots connected and I couldn’t deny it anymore, so I decided to just go through with the wedding regardless, be with the woman I loved. Hoped that maybe the odd emotions I had would go away,” he shrugs, raising his eyes to meet Draco’s. “Saw Ginny at the end of the aisle and, well, I couldn’t stop thinking that it should’ve been someone else. All this time, I’ve thought that she didn’t feel… right in my arms, but I pushed it down. And there she was in that white dress.

“Seeing that today was the last straw. I had to leave.”

Draco’s breath catches in his throat. Swallowing it down, he grabs his mug, scooping out the tea bag just to have something to do. He takes a sip without blowing, ignoring its scalding heat.

“That was stupid.”

“Yeah.”

“You’re so fucking stupid,” Draco can feel a headache building. “That was a horrible decision. I never imagined you—you!—out of all people, could be this irresponsible. What the fuck.”

“You’re right.”

“Of course I am. Merlin, that poor fucking woman. If your purpose here is to make me feel bad for Ginevra and all 300 of her relatives for once in my life, you’ve succeeded, congratulations.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t say that to me, say that to—oh, you’d do what you want no matter what I say, wouldn’t you?”

“Depends on the situation.”

“‘Depends on the situation,’ he says,” Draco mocks, getting a carton of milk from the fridge to save his bitter, bitter tea. Potter doesn’t reply. Stirring the milk in, Draco lets out a heavy sigh.

“What do you want me to do about this?” He says. “I didn’t make you run out of your own wedding. If you expect me to take the blame for your inane decisions, the first person I Floo wouldn’t be the Aurors, but Ginevra Weasley herself.”

A small smile graces Potter’s lips. “I don’t expect anything from you but honesty.”

Draco squints.

“And how will you know if what I say is a lie? Will you reject my genuine answer if it’s not what you want to hear?”

“That won’t be a problem,” Potter says. “I trust your heart will speak the truth for us both.”

There’s a pang in Draco’s chest, and judging from the twitch of Potter’s brow, he can feel it too. Not another word is said, the two men merely facing each other from across a tiny kitchen, considering. Draco can feel the warmth of sunlight beaming through the little window and coating his nape as he leans against the sink, earl grey on his tongue. Lovely citric notes of bergamot drift up his nose. He closes his eyes. What to do, what to do.

Weightless oxfords clack against the yellowed tiles, clear and bright in Draco’s ears. Fabric rustles as Potter slips a hand into his pocket only to retrieve it a second later. Draco lets himself be cornered, barely glancing at the wool-clad arms caging either side of his waist. A clink catches his attention, however, and he tilts his head to the left.

Millimeters beside Draco’s hand on the counter, glinting in the sun, is a wedding band. Draco knows Potter and Ginevra’s in and out, has examined the picture on that day’s issue of the Daily Prophet more times than he should have. He knows the marquise droplets of Ginevra’s gems and the chevron curve of her ring, the blankness of Potter’s own band a dream and a question in his mind.

The band that’s resting on the counter is different. Rustic gold and a fissure in the middle, the fertile earth splitting open to reveal a stream of diamonds, a sparkling river. Draco sets his mug to the side and holds the ring up close, his finger smoothing over the grooves of its texture.

“Did you make a stop at a jewelry store before breaking into my home?” He asks.

“No,” Harry murmurs. Draco looks at him in surprise. “I’ve had this with me for months.”

A pause.

“I thought you said you were in denial.”

“I was, but I knew, somewhat, that I wanted someone else,” Harry’s head lowers, slow and careful, until his forehead rests against Draco’s shoulder. “I told myself that I just liked the way it looked, had to get it in case I didn’t want the other ring anymore. But I got it a size smaller. Been carrying it in my pocket ever since.”

Draco’s heart throbs and throbs. Large hands circle his waist, bunching up the back of his sweater and pressing him close, chest to chest. A blanket of pure heat envelops his body as he breathes in the timeless saffron and neroli of cologne, half-lidded eyes pinned on the band he’s given. Oh, dear, he thinks, and again when it settles at the base of his ring finger with ease, as if it belongs there and never left. Oh, dear.

[bansheeoftheforest]

Transfem/Enby/Genderfluid gang Jekyll au:

(Unrelated, but I once I had a daydream au like this. Except minus the gang and just Lucy)

-

Does Rachel find out? (because I suppose it's a bit hard for her not too) she'd happily try to make dresses for Jekyll to wear when going out on heists

Also, you ever see those dolls where like uh a tutu would spin into a full dress? Like the dolls with the gimmick of "two in one outfit" and itd change somehow to a completely different look? (Usually a dress) I keep imagining that. Like exactly that. Hen presses a button on their suit and it spins into a dress. Is it impractical? Yes. Literally Impossible? Absolutely. But it's fun to imagine

-----

Update on my game progress: I killed springhill jack and was deeply disappointed to find that isn't an unlockable outfit, I mean come on! That evil lair literally had two mannequins wearing it, and you're telling me Jacob didn't yoink one? Smh 😔

In terms of main story, as of writing this I have received the Hallucinogenic(?) Darts and got the cargo cables, also got poisoned. Now looking in a pirate basement

Also, hatred towards B button ended. "Follow this 50km/h vehicle with your wimpy human legs" quests are my new worst enemy

And! I was looking through the dlc and saw some individual outfits were free! I dont use the Evie one due me thinking her original is better. But Jacobs outfit "The Creature's Rags" looks v good! And I get to keep my hat <3, a bit sad to discover both cant be colored though

I greatly appreciate the fact that Jacob and Evie sorta level up together, so you can just decide to play as another when you usually play one, and the other wouldn't be horrendously underleveled!

-

Also! I forgot to acknowledge it but Rexford Kaylock being somehow related to Jasper sounds very fun. They've probably never met and never will, as I simply enjoy the thought of him being related

Oooh! And now I'm imagining Lucy agreeing to help the Rooks at some point, she walks onto the train to discuss plans only to immediately stop. Because there's Dr. Henry fucking Jekyll. Just causally lounging on a couch wearing clearly too big clothes (he stole them from Jacob) and sipping tea. Jekyll is in too much panic and shock to say anything so Jacob just slaps his shoulder and says "Henry here makes some of strongest and most useful poisons! He also helps fix some of our real bad injuries AND He gives us information on people from the aristocracy if we need it! <3" but all in like a tone of sheer affection and "look at my person, hes so talented, I recruited him myself, be jealous of how good he is at everything"

Robert circus man keeps reminding me of Robert Lanyon, and before I even knew his name, just how he acted and what clothes he wore

Ned! Ned my beloved <3. At first I was confused on why the game felt the need to mention that it was made by people of many gender identities and etc. But then! Trans character! Canonically trans character! I dont really play video games that much, and certainly not recent ones, so this may be a decently common sight, but it made me really giddy and happy to see <3

Rachel would probably find out immediately. She goes to Lucy's house to visit her brother on a surprise visit, is very surprised to see her boss drinking tea with Patrin and Elise, in the most fancy and most lacy dress she has ever seen. Hen would be absolutely horrified to see Rachel, Patrin/Elise/Lucy would probably start bubbling about how they started to work for them and how good they are at the job and doesn't that dress just suit them perfectly and Hen would look like they would want to sink into the couch and disappear. Rachel would probably only need a moment to realize, then she would be Hen's biggest supporter and make SO MANY DRESSES for them <3

I know exactly what you mean and I want Hen to have at least 10 of those. Maybe not a suit but more like a short dress like Evie wears that turns into a longer dress, just yes pls <3

--

Oooooh I just did the sequel mission for that one yesterday! It's really annoying with he just poofs away like that but i still think it was v fun. Maybe there is a mod that adds that outfit? XD

...Y'know you can just steal a carriage and go after them most of the time, right? At least unless they specifically state "follow x by doing z" and stuff, so XD

I really like that outfit but I like Jacob to be a fancy fancy boi. I also have yet to find an outfit for Evie that I like, the only one I have found so far was the military outfit but you can't unlock that until you have done the WW1 missions and I promised to save those so my friend could watch me do those missions, you get to play as Jacob's granddaugther, I believe <3

Yess, only thing is you have to decide where to spend the points but eh, its just takes a minute or so XD

I like to imagine Rexford being Jasper's kinda-odd-but-also-very-protective uncle, prepared to beat anyone up who lays a hand on his nephew... Too bad Jacob killed him in cold blood lol

I love that point and I especially love the thought of that, too, being Jacob x Jekyll bc I have been having that brainrot for a fucking week at this point. I just... Adore the panic. Like, Henry just chilling, taking a break from the Lodgers, just getting to go on a lil vacation seeing the train move past London, catching up with friends and shit and flirt with Jacob, and all of a sudden Lucy walks in, they both stare at each other for such a long moment, Henry chokes on his tea, Lucy just goes like... "Uh... Dr. Jekyll? What the hell are you doing here?" bc lets say that they have met before, Jacob just being so proud of Henry and all he has done for them like look!! This is my person!!! He is so good for us and he is really just awesome!!!!!! I recruited him myself aren't I just the best!!! meanwhile Henry is just like... 👉👈🥺 XD

Man do you know how much I can relate to you rn. I love the thought of Robert being the one holding the fight clubs. I love the fight clubs but I absolutely hate all the races. The Lambeth Lap Race can go and die </3

Yess!!! It has always been really important for the team of AC to make sure to keep a diverse developer team and especially since they are working with history, it's important to have many different perspective on things, and it actually isn't until recently that they added sexualities and gender identities to that little pre-note on the loading screen! It was first just about races and ethnicities but I'm glad they are keeping it diverse and aren't afraid to show it. Jacob technically has a male love interest later on but... Spoilers <3

[avengerscompound]

The Tower: Family - 9

The Tower: Family An Avengers Fanfic

Series Masterlist PREVIOUS //

Pairing:  Avengers x OFC, Bruce Banner x Bucky Barnes x Clint Barton x Wanda Maximoff x Steve Rogers x Natasha Romanoff x Tony Stark x Thor x Sam Wilson x OFC (Elly Cooper)

Word Count: 2443

Warnings:  Pregnancy, mentions of past child abuse

Synopsis: With new powers, Thor now living on Earth full time, a wedding to plan, and Natasha and Wanda expecting, a lot is changing for Elly and her large and rather unconventional family.  When Elise’s parents try to reestablish connections, Elly questions what being a family actually means.

Chapter 9: Ghost of Family Past

It wasn’t long before I felt settled in the new place.  I loved the house out at the compound and I was glad we had it, but it had been so large that it still felt a lot like a hotel to me.  This new layout at the tower and the familiarity of being in the place where I’d spent so much time, I felt at home.  Not to mention it was nice being in the city again.  We could order in food, something that had been impossible out at the compound.  It was great having the big meals where we arranged them all by type and then just took what we wanted again.  People had gone back to stealing things from each other’s plates.  All these little habits that had been a huge part of our collective lives were coming back and I loved it even after a few days.

Things quickly found their rhythm too.  Natasha and Wanda’s morning sickness was hitting hard in the morning so they were generally staying home.  Wanda was in full nesting mode.  She was spending a lot of time with the kids and looking at baby clothes online.  Natasha was working in the office, going over mission briefings, and compiling intel.  She also was adamant that we did not take the kids out without her, so she would finish work in the afternoons and take them and anyone else that wanted to go to the park and the library for storytime.  Her new cloaking powers meant that they were going to be able to live a fairly normal childhood in the end.  Or at least, paparazzi free.

I was mostly spending my time between the lab and home and planned to keep it that way as long as I could.  So far I wasn’t getting any morning sickness.  I was still really only barely pregnant, so all those signs hadn’t kicked in yet, though I was expecting them to start soon.  Mostly I was just relaxed and enjoying life returning to normal.

Bucky had booked Tyr and Spotty in to be groomed and the two of us went to take them to the groomers during our lunch break one day not long after getting back.  It was the first time I had gone out without Natasha since the wedding and so my first experience with the paparazzi after they got word that I had married Tony Stark.

They had been grouped around the front door and security had to push them back as we made our way out with the dogs.  Mostly they were calling out my name and asking about the wedding.  Some seemed to be trying to make Bucky angry for some inconceivable reason.  Yelling out to him about being a second choice.  Luckily he was good at keeping his reactions neutral.  He just put his arm around me and pulled me a little closer.

“Should have gone out the back,” I said.

He shrugged.  “They’re around there too.  Just ignore them.  You’re all glowy so the pics are gonna be nice.”

I giggled.  “‘Cause that’s what I care about.”

“Just keep walking, don't engage.  Security will keep them out of arm's length and if they get past them, they won’t have any arms when I’m done with them,” Bucky said.

“Bucky!” I scolded.

He chucked and rubbed my shoulder.  “I was kidding.”

“How long will we have to worry about them?”  I asked, looking back over my shoulder at the crowd following after us.

“They’re just greedy ‘cause they don’t get how the wedding thing worked.  They’ll get over it soon.  It’s not like they’re gonna catch us going out that way very often,” Bucky explained.  “If it makes you feel any better, the dogs think they’re fucking annoying too.”

I laughed.  “Oh no, babies,” I cooed and reached down and scratched Spotty’s back.

“You better pat Tyr too,” Bucky said. “He’s jealous.”

I bit back more laughter and pet the Cavalier awkwardly as we kept moving.

“Elly!”

The use of my less formal name by someone in the crowd drew my attention and I turned to see who had called out.  The voice was familiar too, and yet it wasn’t until I saw who was calling out to me that I recognized who it was.

“Elly, please.”  My younger sister was being held back by two security guards, looking at me imploringly.  I hadn’t heard from any of my family in years.  I had kept in touch with my sisters for a little while after I ran away from home, but when they started dating what my father would have considered the right people and I remained the black sheep.  The last time I spoke to any of them was around the time I had been kidnapped by Madame Masque and only then was I calling my father once a month so he wouldn’t send out the police to find me.

“It’s alright,” I said the security.  Bucky looked at me confused.   “It’s my sister,” I explained quietly as they let her through.

He nodded.  “Keep walking,” he said, his voice low and serious.

I started walking again letting Amanda catch up to me.  I wasn’t sure what to say to her.  Or why she was here.  It wasn’t like people hadn’t known where I was for the past six years.  I’d been in the media on and off since my first date with Tony.

“Tell us what you want,” Bucky said as she pulled up next to us.  There was a growl in his voice.  He was angry and protective and worried Amanda was here to hurt me.

“It’s okay, Buck,” I said rubbing his hip.  “Let her say what she wants to say.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t keep in touch,” Amanda said.

“I didn’t exactly keep in touch either, Mandy,” I said.

She shrugged a little.  “I know but I was the one that stopped first.”

I could feel Bucky tensing more and more as we walked.  I slipped my hand into his back pocket and looked up at him.  “It’s okay,” I said quietly.  He scowled at me and nodded but he didn’t relax at all.

“So… what?”  I asked.  “You suddenly got into the mood to make amends and you thought rather than calling or reaching out to me online you’d stalk my home?”

“It’s not like that,” Amanda said.  “You cut us all off when you started -” she waved her hand in the direction of me and Bucky.  “-all of this.  We haven’t been able to get through to you.”

“We?”  I asked, not sure who exactly she meant by ‘we’.  Then the rest of what she’d said sunk in.  “Wait… what?”

“Mom and dad.  They’ve been trying to get through to you, but they can’t get past your security,” I stopped walking and it took a few steps for either Buck or Amanda to realize I wasn’t with them anymore.

“El?”  Bucky said, turning back to me.

“Why wouldn’t I have been told that my parents were trying to get in contact with me?”  I asked.

Bucky shook his head.  “I don’t know, doll,” he replied.  “Would you want them to?”

“I - I -” I shook my head, trying to clear it.  My brain was a jumble of thoughts that involved my abusive parents trying to get back into my life and my overprotective spouses not telling me shit that directly involved me again.  “How long?  When did they first try?”

“We need to keep moving, El,” Bucky said.

“When?!”  I shouted.  The paparazzi had all started taking pictures in a frenzy like this was the best scoop they’d ever gotten.  Bucky moved to me quickly, putting his arm around my waist.

“Come on, darlin’.  Not here,” he said quietly.

I nodded and we started walking again.  “When was it?” I asked again.

“When they read about the wedding,” she said.

“Oh, that’d be right,” I snarked, rolling my eyes. “And you haven’t thought about me at all?  You have a niece and nephew and it didn’t cross your mind.”

“Well, so do you,” Amanda retorted.  “You’re hardly in a position to judge me for that.”

“You have kids?”  I asked, frowning as I looked her over.  She looked a lot like me.  Her hair was cut short, in one of those ‘I want to speak to the manager’ styles, and she was dressed in a grey skirt suit.  But aside from the styling differences between us, there was no mistaking this woman was my sister.

“Yes, three,” she said.  “And so does Olivia, and so does Ian.”

“Right,” I said.  “I’m sorry.”

We’d arrived at the dog groomers and Bucky turned to Amanda.  “Wait here,” he growled.

Amanda drew herself up, obviously not used to being ordered around by random strangers.  “Now listen here…”

“No, you listen to me,” Bucky hissed.  “You ambush us while we’re out walking the dogs and you think you get to run the show?  I don’t fuckin’ think so.  You’re gonna wait here while we drop our dogs off and then we’ll talk.”

Amanda took a few steps back like she was facing a wild animal.  Bucky put his hand in the middle of my back and guided me inside.  “You okay?”  He asked.

“I … I don’t really know,” I admitted.  I didn’t know how I felt.  It was a mess.

“Tell her to fuck off then,” Bucky said, picking Tyr up and putting him in my arms.

“She wasn’t the one that hit me, Buck,” I said.  “She was a kid in that house too.”

“Right,” Bucky huffed.  He picked up Spotty and we carried them to the counter.  We checked them in and were given some paperwork and a time to pick them back up and Bucky took me aside.  “Alright, this is what we’re gonna do.  We’ll take her to that bar on the corner.  Get something to eat and get to the bottom of why exactly she’s here.  Then we’ll get the dogs and go home and you can think about it, alright?”

I nodded.  I couldn’t fault the logic.  He went to move and I grabbed his arm.  “Why didn’t anyone tell me they were trying to get in touch?”

“I don’t know, El,” he said.  “I promise if I did I’d tell you.  I’m guessing either Steve or Tony said not to let their calls come through, or they just haven’t got that far into the messages while we were away.”

“Right,” I said.

“You can ask them tonight,” he said.  “It’s gonna be okay.  I promise.  I’m here.  You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do.”

I nodded and we went out to find Amanda.  She was waiting with our security detail and Bucky approached her.  She took a few steps back, and I saw that same kind of terror in her eyes I always felt when I knew I was in trouble.  It made me feel sick and I hurried up to Bucky and took his elbow.  “Mandy,” I said quickly.  “Can we have lunch?  Talk this over?”

Her eyes flicked from Bucky to me and she nodded.  “Yes.  Yes, please.”

We walked down to the bar in silence, me clinging to Bucky’s hand.  We were given a booth in the back and some of the security took a booth near us, while others waited outside.  After a quick peruse of the menu, Bucky went to place an order for us.  I wanted nothing more than to order a whole tray of shots and just drink myself into a coma, but thankfully rationality won out.

“Ended up with someone just like dad after all, didn’t you?”  Amanda snapped when Bucky went to the bar.

“Bucky is nothing like our father,” I hissed, balling my fists under the table.

“Right, looks it,” she snarked.

I clenched my jaw as I tried not to completely lose my temper.  I wanted to just yell at her that she didn’t know him and she didn’t know me.  That I hadn’t ever felt safer with anyone than I had with the people I was with.  But there was no point.  She had her idea of what he was like and while he was in angry protective mode, that wouldn’t change.

“Why are you here?  Really?” I asked.  “And why now?”

Bucky returned to the table with a number, a glass of white wine for Amanda, a beer for him, and a pineapple juice for me.  He sat close to me, putting his arm around my shoulders and resting his hand on my hip.

Amanda’s eyes flicked to Bucky and back to me and she let out a breath.  “Mom and dad asked me to come.  You’d blocked them on most things, and they tried calling the Avengers people, but they weren’t getting through.  They want to see you.”

“Over my dead body,” Bucky growled.

“Buck, honey.  I really need you to not do that,” I said.  He huffed and took a drink of his beer.

Amanda took a sip of her wine and fiddled with the glass.  “They did think about it when you were pregnant.”

“But they waited until I got a rich husband, huh?” I snarked.

“They’ve changed, Elly,” Amanda said.  “Dad’s mellowed out.”

I shook my head.  “Uh-huh.  And the fact they’ve chosen now that I’ve married one of the most famous billionaires to get in contact is a coincidence.”

Amanda sagged a little and blinked her eyes.  “Elly, I know it was harder for you than the rest of us.  I know that when you ran away they just wrote you off.  When it came out you were in this big -” she waved her hands again.

“Polyamorous.  The word you’re looking for is polyamorous,” I hissed.

“Right, that,” Amanda said.  “He completely lost it.  Said it was going to look bad on them.  That if people found out he’d lose his position.”

“You’re not spinning it in his favor there, Mandy,” I deadpanned.

She sighed.  “I know, but… he’s your dad.  And they’re your kid’s grandparents.  They’re really good grandparents.”

Bucky stiffened up.  “If you think for one second, I’m letting my kids near that monster…”

Amanda leaned over the table and put her hand on mine.  “Please, Elly.  Consider it.  For me.”

There was a fear in her eyes and I looked down.  There was a thread that joined me to her.  It was very faint and hard to see with all the other much brighter ones.  I looked at it and I knew… we were family and I was going to have to meet with my parents.

// NEXT

[soukokuwu]

I did fall in love with mori after season two so what do you think about hcs for yandere mori, fyodor and dazai with a s/o who doesent accept any of their affections and always try's to "fight" them? I think this would be a intresting concept because most darling give in or get stockholm syndrom but what is if that wont happen?

➤ ah yes t’was when we found out how scheming he can be~ and aye i gotchu anony ^.^

➤ warnings: yandere themes, manipulations, abductions, implied death

s/o who is not receptive to their feelings at all [yandere]

it’s easy enough for him to get you to be his little darling. he can turn on the charm so easily — appear like the perfect gentleman; lie through his teeth as effortlessly as he breathes. not completely your fault for thinking he’d be a perfect catch, but darling too bad for you, once you see the signs, you’re already in too deep.

and so you refuse. every single thing. he wants to kiss you? cringe. you pull away. he buys you gifts? you slap them away from his hands. dazai lets the behaviour pass... for a while. bend his patience enough and he’ll break like a twig. no, no, he won’t be broken like you will be, but instead he’ll take this as fuel to treat you the way you deserve to be treated.

what do naughty darlings get? punishment. for dazai, it comes in an entire range. there are the small, nearly insignificant kinds where he just barely speaks to you (and you thank god that the devil has shut up) but there are also times where he would lock you up in the port mafia dungeons because why not? you’re of no use if you’re not subservient. he’ll release you only when you apologise to him, beg him to forgive you. which you will, because you get hungry or you need the toilet. and only dazai can let you out.

but if this persists? dazai will get bored. much like anything in his life. he used to be obsessed with you and now he sees that you aren’t all that he made you out to be. he thought you were exquisite, positively wonderful. but now? you’re just stubborn, defiant and dull. he can guess your every move — rejection. not once are you ever obedient. for someone who has everyone in the port mafia worship the ground he walks on, this behaviour from you he finds absolutely foul.

prepare to be thrown to the curb and shot at three times. he might set you free... might. it depends really. he knows you’re not a threat at all in any way, but he also hates how you’ve been such a nuisance even though he’s been so nice. rejecting all his affection? did you think he appreciated you playing hard to get? should he kill you for it though? most likely he won’t, because if anything, you’d make for a nice plaything if he ever needed to find one.

wins you over by the only way he knows how: fear. he casually lets you see how he can easily manipulate people into doing his bidding, how heavy and real his threats can be, how he can smile even the most seemingly dire situations because he always has something up his sleeve. this way you’d know how calculative he is, how scary he can be. but he also shows you his sweet side; mainly, how he treats elise. and you figure that maybe he can make an exception for you too. but even when he does, his bad habits of being controlling is way too much for you to handle.

and all of a sudden, his attempts are all futile. you’ve lost all interest in him — not just that, you’re disgusted by him. you see him for how he really is now, and nothing can turn you back from it. his gifts will never be good enough for you, the dresses that he always bought for you to wear (which you used to comply with, you weren’t opposed to being a cute doll), you’ve cut up with a knife and shred to pieces. now mori is the boss of the port mafia, he will not be used to anyone going against him, but also knows not to be impulsive.

give this guy a little credit, darling. he tries. tries so hard not to kill you every minute of every day, that is. because that’s how much you reject his advances. not only does he try to shower you with presents, he even tries to get all touchy with you. and you thank heavens that he doesn’t actually force anything on you. but it’s more for himself than out of consideration for you. making love with someone who looks at him with disdain? he’ll pass.

but as fast as he is to make advances, he’ll also know when to quit. he gets to that point faster than dazai. mori doesn’t like to push it, he has elise to fall back on anyway, to keep him occupied. it doesn’t make him any less angry sad that his darling isn’t so cute anymore. and now he must wonder, should he just silence you forever?

oh it is such a waste, you used to be a good little girl, succumbing to his desires and being the light of his life. what a waste of time you turned out to be. and he knows it is necessary to dispose of certain things, certain... people. after all, the moment you stopped being a receptive darling he’s lost all romance toward you. you’re of no use, and you know too much of what he’s done. sorry darling, you may have rejected his gifts but you can’t reject death’s kiss.

picture perfect, that you were. he stumbled upon you by chance — or so the chance that he crafted out himself. once upon a time he spotted you from afar, such pretty features engraved on your face. what an absolute masterpiece. and masterpieces deserve to be kept safe, seen but hidden. and so fyodor worked his way into your heart, to gain your trust and your affections.

but why? why is it that you wouldn’t cross the fucking line? why are you so adamant on just being friends? fyodor has expended so much time, energy and money into you. something which a god definitely should not have to do. and yet, even after he puts aside his own ego for you, you dare refuse? he doesn’t give up though, no. he just has to do things a little differently for his darling now, doesn’t he?

and so he uses the easiest method of all — force. oh darling is way too gullible. meeting someone she’s just known for not long at night in a quiet street? he almost finds it endearing how naive you can be. it’s all too simple to knock you out and drag you back to his place. but it gets so frustrating. fyodor can clearly see the fear in your eyes when you realise your situation, but yet you still don’t cave to his demands. as much as fyodor likes the tug of war, this is getting tiring. and he has much better things to do with his time.

as perfect as you are, there comes a point when all you’re becoming is a nuisance. he spends time ordering gifts for you on the internet and yet you don’t bother opening, let alone using, any? he gives you time and space alone in your room yet you never come around. he actually tries talking and appearing as patient as he can, but the words never get in your ears, do they? and ah, that’s when he realises his darling is just a fake all along. a bad copy of a real masterpiece the paint just doesn’t quite hit the canvas right.

and what do you do with fakes? pass them on to another person for profit? throw them out like the trash they are? fyodor does still relish seeing the look of terror in your eyes, though. so maybe you can serve a purpose. the doubt, the... gratitude(?) in your eyes when you see he opens the door for you, to set you free. but you don’t turn back as you run out and away from him. but darling you turn a blind eye to it enough and you might just end up right back where you started. because fyodor may have grown tired of the tug of war, but he’ll never tire of cat-and-mouse. except this time, he’s the cat. and his darling, if unfortunate, will turn into a mangled little mouse.

[coffeeandslashers]

nsfw alphabet for Specs! :))

Thanks for the request! Specs and Tucker are without a doubt my favorite team of boys, (Sorry Billy and Stu), I want to write for them more! Also Specs is baby <3

NSFW Alphabet: Specs (Insidious) 

A=Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

He is incredibly snuggly and sweet. Wants to cuddle and be as close to his partner as possible. Always checks in and makes sure his partner is okay and will absolutely get them water or a snack! 

B=Body part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

While he might not seem it Specs is more comfortable with his body then he shows although I wouldn’t say that he has a favorite body part of his. Maybe his hands as they are his main tools for work, writing and drawing. 

On his partners he loves their legs and thighs. ( Thigh high socks are definitely a turn on of his) 

C=Cum (anything to do with cum)

Doesn’t cum a whole lot, but its very sticky and sweet. 

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Has always wanted a partner to peg or penetrate him but won’t ever admit it out of embarrassment. 

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

He has had a few partners before so he isn’t totally inexperienced but he still doesn’t know that much. He is super eager to learn though and loves to research new things!

F = Favorite Position (This goes without saying)

He loves his partner on top or in missionary (In any augmented style) He just really loves to feel close to his partners during. 

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

He is somewhere in between. He thinks it should be passionate and romantic but also fun and goofy at the same time. Expect some awkward little laughs or giggles at any funny noises or during changing positions 

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.).

He is somewhere in between. He likes to trim everything up but will not go completely bald down there unless asked.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

Can be super romantic and really enjoys extensive foreplay as he thinks its the best thing for his partners. Lots of closeness and making out. He savors the intimacy and closeness of slowly touching and feeling each other. 

J = Jack/Jill Off (Masturbation headcanon)

He did this pretty regularly before his partners comes along and still enjoys the alone time now and again as a stress reliever. 

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Is a soft sub. He is really into you dressing up in all different types of lingerie. He loves nylon and velvet. Really likes it when you take charge but isn’t into pain or torture at all. 

Another more taboo one is that he loves to watch you play with yourself. He likes to watch where you can or can’t see him it doesn’t matter but something about this type of voyeurism is right up his alley.

L = Location (Favorite places to do the do)

He is slightly worried about getting caught but will pretty much agree to anywhere. His favorite place is on the couch at Elise’s house. OR on the pull out bed in the Winnebe-Ghost. 

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Listening to you talk about anything nerdy or geeky, especially if its paranormal related. Any type of basic flirting will really get him going. Just show him kindness honestly!

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn-offs)

No pain and teasing. Any type of bulling will definitely bring up some old bad memories. 

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

Prefers to give and he is generally pretty good at it. Prefers a mix of using his hands and mouth though. ( He is really good with his hands ;) )

Will not turn down a blowjob though and doing this anywhere is a huge rush for him! He is very sensitive so if you’re pretty talented he will not last long. 

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

Starts off very slow and sensual but picks up the pace and he can be very fast although not super rough as he chases his orgasm. 

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

Not super into it. He would much rather take the time to get intimate but will not say no if the chance arises. 

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

He isn’t overly risky. But he does like trying out new toys together or new positions. He is always focused on making sure his partner get the most out of the experience. 

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

He can go for a couple rounds. If he doesn’t last super long he is always willing to help his partner out with toys or just his hands and mouth to make sure they finish and enjoy themselves

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

He didn’t own toys before his partner but as soon as his partner brings it up, he is more then willing to buy and practice and use them!

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Is not a teaser at all. 

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

He isn’t very loud but will moan and whimper deeply into his partner ear as he finishes. If you’re giving him head or playing with him, expect lots of heavy breathing and some swear words. Will definitely say “fuck” under his breath

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

He likes thigh riding. If you’re snuggling in bed and it starts getting hot. Put his cock between your legs and use his precum to make it slick and rub him like that. He will go crazy. 

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants)

Uncircumcised. Average length but a little more thick. 

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

Not super high but he is pretty much down, whenever you are. Unless he is super stressed or busy working on a case he usually won’t refuse. 

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterward)

He won’t until you start too! He likes the time spent afterwards to be together. 

AND Thats IT! Hope you enjoyed!! Thanks! I will probably just cave and do one for Tucker too so expect that in the coming days!! 

[justasparkwritings]

Codename Cupid: Chapter 5

Previous: Codename First Heartbreak 

Pairing: Jeon Jungkook X OFC/PI, Mentions of Kim Seokjin X OFC

Genre: Secret AgentAU, AgentAU, Light Strangers to Lovers AU

Rating: PG13

Word Count: 1.6k

Warnings: Swearing, Legal Alcohol Consumption

Summary: The search for Kim Seokjin begins, and our PI makes an unexpected acquaintance. 

Searching for Seokjin 

Present Day

         I’ll admit, the heartbreak Euna endured at the hands of Kim Seokjin felt a little too real, a little too personal, a little too familiar. Reading the chapters in her manifesto that detailed the love she had for him, reminded me of listening to Kacey Musgrave’s first album and asking, to no one in particular, who hurt you?

        Whether or not he realized it, their five-month triste had set in motion the ways in which Euna moved through her relationships with men. It was clear that their college love story created deep seated insecurity, one that caused her to shy away from dating. Shy away, and then lean in fully and totally in a manner that would make Charles Manson go “whoa step back”. But that’s a story for later, because Seokjin never felt the extend of Euna’s love. No, that was reserved for Min Yoongi. But again, a story for another time.  

        Kim Seokjin, being first on the list, was the first man I wanted to track down. He had practically no social media presence, no LinkedIn or job profiles, no known address. All Euna had to go off of was he worked at some bank in New York, but that was after graduation. Five years later, she didn’t know if he’d still be there.

        “Hi, I am calling for a Mr. Kim,” I say into my phone.

        “Which Mr. Kim would you be referencing?” The receptionist asks.

        “Kim Seokjin,” I respond.

        “Hmm, I do not have a Kim Seokjin in the directory,” She says.

        “Do you happen to have a forwarding number or address?” I ask.

        “No, unfortunately not. Is there anything else I can help you with?”

        “No, thank you,” I hang up and gently set my phone on my desk. Of course, he didn’t still work there, what promising young man would stay at a mid-tier firm when he had the potential for such greatness, as Euna described?

        I pick up my phone and dial my favorite number.

        “If this is to ask me to search something for you illegally, the answer is no,” My sister says, not bothering to begin our chat with any formality.

        “C, you know I have full access to the state database,” I remind her, twirling in my chair.

        “Then what’s your question?” She demands.

        “I need a national search,” I inform her.

        “No,” C says.

        “Come on, please?” I ask.

        “No,” She says again.

        “You know you’re the golden child, mom and dad already love you more, so can you help me out?” I plead.

        “You get one chance a year to use the ‘mom and dad’ card,” She reminds me.

        “Sis, this is an extenuating circumstance,” I tell her.

        “Lies,” She responds.

        “I’ll pay you,” I offer.

        “You do know the NSA taps these phones?” She whispers, knowing full well I do.

        I laugh a little too hard, “Then why are you absolutely dragging me?”

        “I can’t,” She tells me, voice returning to normal volume.

        “Fine.” I say, fingers moving swiftly over the keypad of my phone.

        “Why do you insist on putting me on speaker?” She groans.

        “It’s easier, I have many things to do,” I remind her.

        “Sure, you do, like find the pennies you lost in the couch. Still enough for rent, right?”

        “You can be such a bitch, you know that?” I snap.

        “You still coming out with us on Friday?” She changes subjects fluidly.

        “Well, I wasn’t-

        “You are coming, when’s the last time you, you know, hooked up?” She asks delicately.

        “I thought we were being tapped?” I laugh callously.

        “No no, that’s what you’re not doing,” She reciprocates.

        “You’re the worst, and I hate you,” I tell her.

        “Wear something revealing,” She suggests.

        “Don’t slut shame me,” I say.

        “You’re insufferable,” She responds.

        “Love you, mean it,” I tell her.

        “Love you, mean it,” She replies.

        If I know my sister, and I do, better than she realizes, tonight at the club she’ll have the information I need, the information to help me find not only Kim Seokjin, but the lot of them.

~~~~~

        Dressing in what my sister would ultimately call a boring, going to work outfit, I hopped into the Uber. I knew better than to drive, the full extent of the evening outlined in detail in a message from C. She always planned elaborate nights out, which resulted in black outs, drunk hook ups and dirty dancing. C wanted the nights to remain perfect blurred memories, fuzzy in our minds, growing more and more hazy as the years progressed. She knows well enough to schedule them quarterly, if not twice a year max, maintaining their elusiveness. She invites only the best of the best, her favorite people, and being the single younger sister, I am the pet project of all her married friends. It’s fucking excruciating. I would rather be shaving my legs dry than spend a drunken night with her friends who all remember me as the braces wearing tween they met me as.

        Tonight, will be no different.

        I enter the club, no cover, and slip my bomber jacket off as I walk towards the bar. My sister sits on a stool, laughing uproariously at her girlfriends, shoulders exposed as she downs what I’m assuming is a Lemon Drop. Spotting me, she waves.

        “You’re here!” She yells and eyes me up and down. “So glad you tried.”

        “I put make up on,” I tell her, blinking my eyes slowly enough that she can see the shadow and attempt at eyeliner. “I’m even wearing foundation.”

        “Wow, and what tween did you learn that from?” She asks, flagging down the bartender.

        I don’t dignify her question with a response, in turn favoring the bartender. He stares at me expectantly, “Tequila, shaken,” I turn to count the party, “Ten shots.”

        He nods before grabbing what I assume is the cheapest tequila from the shelf.

        “For you?” Elise asks.

        “For all of us,” I say winking. The bartender sets the shots down before asking if I want to close my tab. I nod, handing him my card without thinking.

        “Really? Two shots and you’re done for the night?” C asks me.

        “No, I just won’t be paying for them,” I reply laughing. Together we down our shots before turning to the dance floor. It’s a mess of sweating bodies, the neon lights illuminating fractions of everyone’s face, a nose here, an ear there, lips entangled over the beat of a Dua Lipa song. Clothing, soaked to the bone, clinging relentlessly onto everyone’s skin as they sweat through the music, liquor moving their limbs in wild gestures, inhibitions down, booties dropping. It’s euphoria and chaos, pleasure and sin.

        I fucking love it.

        My sister and I, though very different, have always had a shared love of dancing. Music bumping through speakers, full volume never being enough, in our blood. A part of us from our father, uniting our waring personas across decades, across the globe, and tonight, across the floor. Is there anything as blissful as dancing, hips swaying, arms overhead, lungs burning as we shout the lyrics. Heavenly.

        I retreat from the dance floor to the bar, waiting patiently for the bartender to notice my presence.

        “You look so happy out there,” A man says from behind me. I turn, surprised to see someone seated on the stool behind me. I truly almost sat on him.

        “Oh, hi, yeah, thanks,” I reply, smiling softly.

        “Do you think you could spare me a dance?” He asks, blush coating his cheeks.

        “Tell me this,” I say, eyes absorbing his Bambi like orbs, “How many fingers does Yoda have?”

        “Depends, which movie you’re talking about,” He smiles, and I swear I’ve been shot in the heart. No one should be this stunning in a dimly lit club, which means he’s going to be breathtaking in the light of day.

        “So how many?” I repeat.

        “Three in one film, two in another,” His nose scrunches.

        “Are you a nerd or just really into bar trivia?” I ask.

        “A bit of both,” He’s still smiling, and I’m wounded again.

        “Good to know,” I laugh lightly.

        “Can I buy you a drink?” He offers.

        “I thought you wanted a dance,” I remind him, winking.

        “Can I have both?” He asks, left eyebrow raising.

        “Depends,” I say smirking.

        “On?”

        “What are you drinking?” I ask.

        “Is this your game? Ask me questions to extrapolate information so you can decide if you’re interested?” He doesn’t mean to blast me, but he does.

        “Oo, you do read me so well,” I wink, a poor attempt at keeping any pretense or posture intact. “Tequila shot, shaken, lemon wedge, no salt.”

        He orders two shots and looks me over.

        “You’re gorgeous,” He says, sincerity in his eyes.

        “You are too,” I reply, eliciting a laugh from him.

        “Are you usually this forthcoming?”

        “Absolutely not, when you get to know me, you’ll see how closed off I truly am,” I thank the bartender before grabbing my shot. “To strangers in bars,”

        “And lovers amongst the stars,” He replies.

        “Shakespeare?” I smile again before tossing my shot back. “How’s about that dance?”

        “On one condition,” He stands, towering over me, his black hair moving like a curtain in front of his eyes.

        “What could that possibly be?” I ask, hand already reaching for his.

        “Tell me your name,” He uses his new hold on my hand to pull me close to him, chests pressing against one another’s.

        I stand on my tiptoes, pressing my already flushed cheek against his. “Y/N,” I say, lips grazing his decorated ear.

        He turns slightly, ensuring my cheek remains against his. “Jungkook,” His voice is husky, deep and resonating. It shivers through my body, the heat from him mixing with the anticipation building. Pulling away, he smiles again, “Let’s dance.”

Next: Codename Another Shot at Love Pt. 1

[beyoncesdragon]

The Sin pt. 2

The confession  

Pariring: Tommy Shelby x Reader 

Warnings: some making out bc I want that and lots and lots of swearing 

Summary: It’s an invite that went missing and feelings that got returned. Just a little late, a little unfortunate and a little unholy. In this part: Where Tommy confesses something to the reader and Grace plays a different part in it than imagined. 

Here: Where Tommy finally comes home.

a/n: first of all: I am so so so so so sorry for taking ages to write this. believe me I have around 4 different versions of this, all over 3k words long. I struggled greatly with this, and it’s my own fockin fault. I think I have never, and I mean never struggled more and I hateeeee this. but it just doesn't seem to get better. I am sorry. I hope you still read and enjoy🥺

Just because I can remember @soleil-dor​ asking specifically...this for u. I am so SORRY fuck

My Masterlist 

My doorbell ringed at the same time the church bells stroke midnight and it scared me half to death. I’d fallen asleep on the couch, only dressed in my flowy nightgown and a light blanket over my shoulders, the book had already slipped from my grip. I sat up, pulling the blanket tighter around my shoulders, carefully approaching the door. I heard a rumble from upstairs, probably Elise jumping out of her bed. I sighed, deciding that I would just open the door myself.

The last man I had expected to stand in front of my door, soaked to the bone and with pale face and tousled hair was him. Not that I had expected anyone, but especially not him.

My eyes flickered over his silhouette and back to his face. There was something strange in his eyes, something broken from the inside, almost. His posture remained as always, proud, upright and unbothered but his eyes…I remember how Polly had once mentioned to him that the eyes were the doors to the soul. Tommy had just blankly stared at her, given her an unfazed look before lowly explaining that he, in fact, must’ve lost his soul in France then, because nobody would ever read him through his eyes. And I had almost believed him. Almost.

I snapped out of my thoughts and tilted my head. I wasn’t entirely sure if I wanted another Shelby around at that time of the day.

The white light of a lightning flared across the dark night and made me flinch. To hell with this, I was not letting anyone stand outside my door during weather like this. With a small sigh I stepped aside, letting him pass me to come in. Elise, my loyal handmaiden who had peaked from behind my back, quickly shuffled aside, the worry still haven’t left her face. Usually it would’ve been her opening up, but I had allowed her to go to sleep already because I really wanted to finish that book...so she’s been freed from that duty. However, it didn’t stop her from come running when she heard the doorbell ring.

My eyes fell on a gun in her hand, as it suited the only handmaiden in an unprotected house. Yet I still always chuckled seeing her like this: wearing a light green nightshirt which reached down over her knees, backless slippers and a nightcap to protect her light brown curls. And then a bloody gun. I supressed a grin.

“Madam…?” she whispered as I closed the door shut, giving him a suspicious look. “It’s fine Elise. It’s just Tommy he…he’s okay. You can go to bed again. Or maybe if you would just prepare a the kettle with some hot water for tea…” I suggested, eyes trailing over Tommy. This man needed tea, urgently.

She nodded almost reluctantly before hinting a curtesy. Almost secretive she however handed me the gun, as if to make sure I could still shoot him if in need. I bit back a smile and nodded at her, before looking back at Tommy.

He had his eyes locked on me, a strong unbroken gaze. He didn’t even blink. His black coat was dripping down onto the carpet, his hands held his hat tightly. His eyes left me to follow the young frame of Elise leaving the kitchen with a nod into our direction and tiredly climbing up the stairs.

“She’s handed you a gun.” Those were the first words he had said to me since that phone call, around two weeks ago. His eyes now fell to my hands before I could place the gun down or hide it…so I wouldn’t offend him. But he’s seen it, obviously.

“She has. People are not scared enough of women to leave us alone.” I explained with a shrug, looking down at the shimmering weapon in my hand. “Y’gonna use it?” I looked up surprised. “Against who? You?” he shrugged, face blank and impossible to read. I could only chuckle at that, shaking my head and placing it down. “Obviously not?” he nodded in a matter-of-factly before suddenly grabbing my hips and shoving me against the wall behind me. His hand were everywhere and his lips left burning kisses all over my neck and jaw.

“T-Tommy…?” I could only stutter, completely taken aback by his eagerness, his neediness and his want. His cloak was still wet and cold and I could feel it soak through my thin silky nightgown as he pressed his body against mine.

“Wet.” I could only mumble against his lips before he bit down on my lower lip, urging me to stop talking. He however did start to shrug the jacket off of his shoulders, getting frustrated when it wouldn’t work. I pushed him away gently, helping him slipping out of the wet coat. it took me about ten seconds but I already missed his touch like an addict craved a line of coke. He let the probably completely overpriced coat fall to the ground and instead of picking it up he was back on my lips in no time. His hands were roaming over my body, pulling me tighter every now and then. His tongue urged me to open up my lips to let him deepen the kiss. I did, not hesitating a second. The sharp whistle of a teapot made us snap apart. His breathing was heavy, just like mine.

He stepped back in silence, letting me pass in an almost awkward silence. Tension lied heavy between the two of us, so thick and noticeable it made me dizzy. He made me dizzy.

“Is Earl Grey fine? No wait, camomile is actually better…or lime blossom…” I coughed, trying my hardest to overcome the husk of my own voice as my fingers traced along the carefully stacked tins filled with the best herbs and mixtures.

“Whisky does the job.” His husk voice caught me off guard since it was way closer than I had expected. “Lime blossom it is then. Fuck off with whisky, do you know what time it is?” he said nothing after that, his eyes silently following my every move as I set up the teapot to pour the boiling water into. There wasn’t another word spoken during the time the lime blossom soaked in, we kind of just stood there, watching the steam from the teapot and each other.

He looked worn out in the dim light of my kitchen. His skin was paler than usual, his hair a tad messier than I was used to (which could theoretically also be my fault though), his eyes less deep and colder.

Now, where he had removed his dripping coat he looked a bit less buff. Still a hunk of a man, still towering me. Especially because I wasn’t wearing heels, which was a thing I usually did, especially around men. Their ego was often big enough to treat me more like a servant and less like a business partner simply because I was a woman and they were taller. It was ridiculous really. Tommy had never treated me like this, I had never feared to be treated like an underdog. Sure, he was sly and witty, he knew how to bargain and twist everything to his profit. But that wasn’t done in a condescend manner at all. Maybe that was why I was drawn to him the way I was. The second he stepped out of his car and walked towards me, proud and seemingly uncaring of all the stares he was receiving from my workers. It had been truly stunned when he stopped, eyes wandering over my stable lad and me, before approaching me. Usually people tended to approach Gregory first, a thing I watched with great amusement. Not so Tommy, he’d approached me from the beginning. And he ended up buying one of my best horses immediately, Yastra, a horse I had never planned to sell in the first place. She wasn’t even named properly for the race tracks. Tommy couldn’t care less. He’d given the proud sand coloured steep a long look before offering his deal. Yastra still lived on my property and I still trained her, just like the two other horses he’d bought later on. Only one, a brown mare by the name of Pacific Princess II stood in his stables.

The strong and sweet taste of the lime blossom made me shake my head and snap out of my thoughts. Tea was ready and if I would leave it too long without serving, it would turn bitter. “Get me a stand from in there.” I turned to reach for the honey when I suddenly felt his presence behind me. I turned around, almost bumping into him. He had his lips on mine before I could even say something, picking off the unsaid words from my lips and swallowing them down. His tongue urged me to open up my lips to let him deepen the kiss. I did, not hesitating a second.

It wasn’t a sweet kiss, not at all. It was more like a violent, unrestrained kiss, a kiss with teeth nipping on swollen lips. He was devouring me, drinking all of my being in with one kiss, and I felt like he was sucking the air straight from my lungs.

Tommy kissed so hard it was like he was trying to leave the memory of the imprints of his lips in my mind forever. And he probably accomplished just that by now.

His hands were roaming over my body, pulling me tighter every now and then. He pushed me back against the countertop, lifting me up to place me down on it immediately.

He let out a throaty groan, splitting my legs with his body to come even closer. He tasted sweet, kissed filthy as ever and set my skin on fire. My mind was blank, all I could I think was Tommy, his hand on my back, the other one trailing shakily from my waist up, over my breast before halting at my collar bone. He brought it up to my neck, deepening the kiss even more, making it just a tad more desperate.

In moments like these it was when I realised once again how I would never ever get over Tommy Shelby, not in this life and probably not in another one. He just swept me off my feet every time. He did it when we had kissed first, needy and thrilling, in the stables a few years ago. It had been the third time we had met, this time for inspecting one of his race horses because of breeding options. Monaghan boy, a black stallion with a beautiful neck. As always, tension had lingered  between the two of us like a thick fog, but he had been the first to give in. He had this thing where he liked to back me up against the wall, preferably dominant and always in charge. It had made my knees weak in an instant and it didn’t help that he had a tongue to sin with. From that day on, our meetings consisted of either heated discussions about horses and life or sex. Or both, most of the time…then he had met Grace and whatever we had, stopped. And it stopped in an ugly way, rather. I could’ve understood if he had come to me and told me that he now considered a serious relationship with someone who was not me. I would’ve let him go, heartbroken but at peace. But he had not had the decency to do so, oh no. he had rather left in a hurry with a few stuttered words about “This can’t happen anymore…I’m sorry.”

And yet here he was, for the second time since he said that and ran. And I was letting it happen again, like the fool I was. We parted swiftly to catch out breaths again before Tommy connected his lips with my neck again. He sucked lightly at my skin and left a trail of burning marks down to my shoulders. I moaned quietly as he bit down on my sweet spot right above my collar bone, and pushed his face up to mine again. Instead of kissing me again, he just looked at me, an unreadable expression on his face.

“Regretting this already?” I pushed out, almost in spite since he still waited. He quirked an eyebrow, eyes growing dark again. “Why do you always try to piss me off?” good question actually, on the other hand, who the fuck was he to ask anything. “Because you’re hot when you are angry.” He growled lowly, bringing his lips to mine again.

I don’t know what it was that broke the spell and made  a weird form of panic flood my bones. Something in my brain switched when he suddenly picked me up, his hungry lips still on mine. This was a married man with a son and a wife at home. What the hell was I doing here? But before I could say something, Tommy had carried me into the livingroom and placed me on one of the couches. He was over me in an instant, pressing me down gently.

“Tommy…Tommy what are you doing?” I asked breathlessly, panting for air. He stopped, eyes flickering over my face, dark with lust.

“What does it look like.” He was equally out of breath, his voice just a tad throatier than before. I said nothing, just brushed a strand of hair out of his face. A whirlwind of emotions flickered through his eyes, like a thunderstorm of realisation, lust, angst, regret, maybe? It was quiet in the room for quite a while, only the crackling fire and wind hitting the windows could be heard. Then Tommy did something I had not expected at all: he let his head rest on my chest, arms around me, unmoving like a heavy organic blanket. My fingers found their way up to his hair, carefully brushing through the longer curls. I was still a bit taken aback by the sudden switch of attitude and mood.

“What’s troubling you, Tommy?” I asked softly, still stroking through his hair. The raw and vulnerable energy that surrounded us now, almost took my breath away. Tommy just shook his head swiftly. He wasn’t ready to talk about it, or so it seemed.

“Do y’ever wear it?”

I was confused first. Wear what? Then…my hand wandered up to my neck, as if searching for the green emerald. But there was nothing, just hot skin.

“I do.  I took it off for bed.” I explained, almost physically feeling the weight of the precious stone on my collar. “Why did you even send it back?” I asked carefully, that question had lingered in the back of my mind for quite some time now. Tommy sighed deeply. “I took an envelope and…” I snorted quickly, cutting him off. “Stop bullshitting me Tommy. I gave her the necklace. Did she not like it?” He sat up, looking down at my lying frame beneath him. There was almost a sly glint in his blue eyes as his gaze met mine again.

“Someone convinced her that the heart was cursed. Gipsy magic.” I gasped in outrage. “Excuse me? Someone?” Tommy just leaned back, the ghost of a smile on his lips. “Someone.” He confirmed, still that mischievous glint in his eyes. “Fuck off Tommy. She probably hates me now. Good job, this is one way of keeping me away from your parties.” He let out a snort, almost a chuckle.

“That won’t be a problem anymore. You can come whenever you like.” I rose my eyebrows surprised. I felt like we were slowly getting to the reason why he appeared on my doorstep at twelve thirty in the night.

“She’s…well…she’s left.” I sucked in a startled breath. “Left? As in…ran away? Divorced?” Tommy had his face turned away from me, his eyes watching the fire in the fireplace crackle. “Left.” I gulped, not knowing what to say or do. “I am sorry…really sorry.” I only stuttered, watching the flames reflect red in his eyes. They seemed glossier than before…Jesus Christ I really had no idea how to deal with this situation as a whole. Only hesitantly I placed my hand on his arm. It was weird how I now felt so…shy touching him, when only minutes ago we were making out like our lives depended on it.

“Is it because…because of me?” I whispered, scared of his answer. He snapped back to me, eyes then trailing over my hand.

“No…she’s been married before me, you know. Only she told me that her man had killed herself after she left him.” it made sense now to me, her purple dress. A dress symbolizing that one was still mourning…and I had wondered over who, at a wedding after all.

“Turns out that he’s very much alive.” His voice was bitter and heavy of anger and I traced small circles into arm. “We’ve had an argument you know…about horses and who trains them.” My interest peaked up some more. “I don’t know if you’ve ever heard of May Carleton…” I nodded swiftly. Of course I did, she was a mutual in every way after all.

“Suppose you had something going on with that one too?” Tommy hesitated a moment before nodding quickly.

“I never loved her. It was just…sex?” he almost asked me that and I chuckled softly. “Who am I to judge Tommy. I don’t know if you had feelings for her. After all, you shouldn’t degrade what the two of you did…are we not the same?” that made him snap around to me. “We? Just sex?” his eyes narrowed and it seemed like a new fire ignited them. I waved it off, drawing another circle in his arm. He shook his head, continuing.

“It stopped when Grace came back from New York.” I hummed before waiting for him to continue. “She trained my horses…” I gave him a pointed look. “I can sense betrayal.” He gave me a pointed look.

“What?” I couldn’t help but grin. “Training your horses by another woman…I am hurt. You coward.” He shook his head slowly. “You don’t know how difficult you are sometimes.” I chuckled softly, giving him a wink.

“You love me.” He said nothing, his face falling a bit. I frowned, wanting to assure him that I was only joking but he cut me off. “Do you have whisky?” I nodded, getting up swiftly and walking over to a cabinet. “What would you like?” I asked, stepping aside for him to see the dusty bottles. He got up and walked closer, eyes wandering over the labels.

My eyes wandered over his face, that worn out but handsome face, a face that haunted me and basically ruined all other men for me. My thoughts flickered to the expression on his face when I made the joke about him loving me. I had meant to read something like guilt in his features, but why? Sure, love was a strong word and I wasn’t entirely sure if I could ever expect love from someone like Tommy Shelby, especially after he just broke up with Grace…no, after she just broke up with him. Or called off the engagement, or whatever.

“That one.” I snapped out of my thoughts and grabbed the bottle he chose. I prepared two glass of the orange brown liquor carrying them over to the couch again.

I sat down whilst Tommy kept pacing around the room, his glass in his hands. I noticed the absence of a ring and it almost felt…relieving. But then again…it didn’t. because I couldn’t help but feel guilty for all I’d done.

“She took the boy with her. To fucking New York.” He suddenly pressed out, necking the whisky in a swift move. My mouth parted in surprise and I could only stutter my words of condolence. “I’m sorry to hear that…” I started, silenced by his angry glare immediately.

“Stop lying.” I rose my eyebrows. “Lying? Why should I lie?” he shrugged, visibly frustrated now. “Can I smoke?” I shrugged, watching him light up a cigarette before turning back to me. “Because that’s what you…I don’t fucking know!” he then started, not even daring to finish his thoughts. And maybe it was that what finally ticked me off.

“You wanted to say, because that’s what I wanted? Is it that? Finish your damn sentences!” his eyes flashed up in irritation, but I went on before he could even reply to anything.

“By the way Tommy, what I want is something that should be entirely unknown by you, since you’re not me! And, just to clarify, before you use that…thing that there was on that party two weeks ago: you kissed me! I only turned up because of…I don’t know, spite, anger, whatnot. But I never intended to do anything like…what we did.” He laughed dryly. “You wanna say, you regret it?” I tilted my head, leaning back a bit. “I never said that.” He hummed, an angry glint in his eyes again. Or rather, still.

“Maybe you shouldn’t’ve turned up then, and sure as hell not given her that damn necklace…” I shook my head.

“I think we both know that this is not about you and not being able to handle her wearing some green, glittery rock.” He took a sharp breath. “By the way, do you even realise how dangerous a rumour like this is for my reputation? That I jinx stuff? Curse chains and…jewellery? There is a legit possibility of my name being ruinedbecause of your little lie.” he said no word, his eyes fixed on the ceiling, grey smoke passing through his lips.

“Are you done?” his voice wasn’t as calm and collected as usually, instead is was heavy with anger and maybe hurt. His icy eyes snapped back to mine, piercing through them as if to strip me off of all of my dignity and leave my soul linger nakedly in front of him.

“Am I done?” I repeated quietly, anger making my voice hoarse. He’d always had a special talent for pissing me off, but this was topping anything. I didn’t even knew what to respond I was so angry. “Yes, are you done. Done, because then I can tell you why the fuck I decided to send that goddamn thing away, back to you.” he took another pull from his smoke before flicking it into the fire. “Can you remember why I gave you this necklace? When I gave it to you?” of course I could, clear as day. It had been a promise, a small, weak promise to care for each other. We had been out, a lovely and peaceful walk with the horses he had just bought, the stars bright and the night cold. He’d been nervous the moment he presented the beautiful stone to me, an almost angsty flicker in his eyes, as if waiting for a rejection.

I had not rejected, obviously, and Tommy had slipped the necklace around my neck whilst pressing butterfly kisses to my neck. But still: the one who ran and broke his own promise had not been me, but him. I crossed my arms over my chest, shaking my head slowly.

“Of course I can. But it still explains nothing.” He grunted angrily. “Not, eh? Maybe that I don’t need a reminder of us around me every day?” I laughed softly, shaking my head. “You mean, you are selfish Tommy? You mean that the fact that you broke your own fucking promise, is making you regret certain decisions from your past? And I am not talking about marrying another woman, I am talking about that hit and run number you pulled there, and then not inviting me to you bloody wedding-celebration…” he slammed his fist down on the chair back, me regret my decision to jump up immediately. But I couldn’t just sit down again, I wouldn’t back off now.

“Do I look like I need a bloody reminder that I fucked up, eh? Do I really look like that to you? And you come and have the fucking nerve to…blame it on my selfishness? My selfishness? When you knew ex-fucking-sactly, what would do to me, if you gave her this necklace?” I was robbed of words to shoot back at him, stumbling back at the force of his words. He followed up, it felt like I was back in his office again.

“You don’t leave my head, my thoughts, my mind, not at night and not at day. You’re there constantly, alright? And I am…was fucking married, alright? I have a bloody kid with that woman, a life, a house, a business. I don’t need a reminder of you on my spouses neck. Fuck!” his eyes were wild and full of emotion, his breath quick and hot and grazing my lips, he was so close.

“I’m sorry.” Was all I pressed out, not exactly knowing what else to say. Tommy just shook his head. “I am sorry. I think I just…” his whole attitude changed all of a sudden, again as if all the anger and hurt left his body and left him behind tired and worn out.

“I think I just missed you.”

I carefully linked my fingers with his before pulling him into a hug. “I missed you too, Tommy. A lot, y’know?” he just buried his face in the crook of my neck and took a deep breath. After a few second he let go of me, stepping back a bit. Not far, and never fully letting go of me. “Let’s go to bed, yeah? You can have the guestroom if you need space…” he just tilted his head. “or you can sleep in my bed. With me present of course.” A shy smile played around his lips as he nodded softly. “I am comfortable if you are.” I just pulled him upstairs.

It felt different when Tommy slipped under the covers now, as if we’d never spent a night in the same bed. Which was close to ridiculous because that wasn’t the case at all. The energy just had never been so honest and so…vulnerable. I could hear him take a deep breath, before I felt his arm wrap around me. I turned around to him, glimpsing up at his face. The dark almost swallowed him whole, but I could make out a soft shimmer where his eyes were and the light from the window illuminated his silhouette.

“Are you okay?” I asked carefully, tangling my leg with his.

“Can I kiss you?” I chuckled softly, arms resting on his shoulders. “Have you not already? Like, when you ruined my nightgown, not that long ago?” I could almost hear his little smirk when he hummed, but I could definitely feel it when he brought his lips down to mine. His arms tightened around me when we parted and he let out a soft sigh.

“Goodnight.”

“Goodnight Tommy.” I whispered, leaning into his arms. He mumbled something, words so quiet I couldn’t quite catch them. I raised my head back up.

“Hm?”

“I just…I said that I’m back home.”