#how tf did I get out of this before?
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Sorry to complain but wow I am wide awake at 6am thinking about all I have to do bc uhhh I have so much to do!!!
#I was doing okay for a couple of years#with handling the executive dysfunction (not dignosed but like come on when you know you know)#but I’ve not had a good year mentally and I’ve put off so many things#and it’s all building up and it’s getting so overwhelming#how tf did I get out of this before?#how do I get back to that motivation?#I barely have time to listen to music anymore bc I just sit there everyday thinking#thinking about nothing good:/#like I’m okay but damn I’ve been really sad this year and it’s so hard to get out of that#again sorry to complain and I should really get a therapist but sometimes shouting to the void helps
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Since the red guardian joined the avengers after that what if...? episode where the red guardian stopped the winter soldier, then imagine how DIFFERENT captain america civil war would end up being
#WELL THE WHOLE MCU WOULD BE DIFFERENT BUT U GET WHAT I MEAN#Imagine them seeing the footage of bucky as the bomber and the red guardian goes “hey I know that guy!”#While captain america is like “how would YOU know him he's literally MY childhood bestie tf??”#or something I haven't watched captain america civil war in a while#what if...?#what if#marvel what if#marvel#alexei shostakov#the red guardian#red guardian#bucky barnes#james buchanan barnes#the winter soldier#winter soldier#winter fox#winterguardian#captain america civil war#+ steve rogers getting jealous when he sees bucky and alexei getting along and hearing about how they've met before#ILL SEE MYSELF OUT BYE#maybe bucky would get unbrainwashed faster with the red guardian there IDK#and then he'll help bucky remember how they met and their friendship while steve is just overhearing everything like🧍♂️#“Wait you guys did WHAT in Vegas???”#trying to undoom my doomed yaoi#redwinter
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me when i fuck it we ball
#ortismypassion#undertale#sans#papyrus#flowey#frisk#i did not lovk in i actually got locked the fuck out abd climbed through the window instead#anwyasys i think about them alot. too much#thinking about them all remembering resets and all burdened by tue fact that theyve all killed each other and they've all watched each othe#die over and over.#but its ok they're silly with it now and are not totally a little co dependent and trauma bonded abd cant be away from each other for a few#minutes at a time#anwyags i have this scene in my head of toriel opening the bedroom door and looking at them all fondly . a soft smile on her face#before closing the door and sighing. letting a worried frown mar her face#because shesso worried about them.#worried about how they seem so close yet they have not known each other for even a month before getting to their surface home#and how theyre never apart#or how all of them get nightmares and seem to seek each other out for comfort. so mucn so that theyve all moved into one room together#anwyays do you get me. do tou get it (wjo tf is reading this anymore)#they've been through so much and seen so many things that theyre not the same peoplen they were. never will be.
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nobody fucking touch me rn i went to see tf one in the cinema and im shaking. they actually made a good transformers movie. what the fuck
#time to go home and read the entirety of jro's mtmte and lost light again ig#what the FUCK i was not expecting it to be actually fucking stunning. that's MY loser dumpster fire of a children's toy franchise how did t#ey actually make it . good#really good#five out of five stars. when elita said “you dont have the touch or the power” i fucking choked#obviously it is only going to mire the canon more because of the changes to megatron's backstory (no gladiators 😔) & lack of allspark plot#but i dont even fucking care. dont even touch me rn i cant ever get over this#broken friendships & corruption arcs are THE SHIT and they did this one better than i was expecting#when pax fell like a falling star... primus itself opened to him...#ratchet cameo! arcee cameo! jazz cameo! not to mention ALPHA TRION#i can see the war in this . i can see this . millions of years in the future they will still b fighting. orion mightve been a “pacifist” by#megatron's standards but he knows how to fight. he fights more than he should. and bee.... bee... THATS MY FUCKING NAMESAKE GUYS DONT EVEN#TOUCH ME RN. IM SHAKING. HOLY SHIT#bumblebee you are SUCH a dork. what the FUCK.#and the quintessons!!!!! i am LIVING for the art direction and the organic/inorganic imagery#those quintesson energon-hoover things reminded me of energon eaters too. & in that first shot of them entering the cave w the primes i#originally thought scraplets before i came back to myself. there's something to be said here tho.#they did a good job with the worldbuilding. suitably alien-like. exceeded expectations. that ginormous quintesson ship? i'm going insane#you can SEE the birth of the myth in this stupid fucking movie you can SEE how op becomes who he becomes. the way he grew. the way they bot#grew until they were the only person that could hold the other back . the way he is going to be irreversibly changed. d16's eyes...#that scene w starscream has a chokehold on me. i cant breathe. the way they all looked at megatron when his blaster emerged#the fight scenes#ELITA ONE !!!#AIRACHNID !!!!#honest to god though i must confess that the first coherent thought i had about this movie was “oh they made him so cunty” . abt pax. i#am so sorry#but okay okay okay i . they were amica endura at the beginning. at the least. i'm. AKHRERJGH#tf one#me when megatron ascended out of iacon & he was the only land vehicle amid a swarm of planes. me when the SYMBOLISM#🐝
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HEY GUYS “““““FUN”””””” PIKMIN 4 CHALLENGE
#pikmin#pikmin 4#bro can you imagine Pom slamming down 2970 raw material and buying out all of Russ’ stock#Russ would be so damn confused#text post#also can you imagine the confusion from everyone when she only upgrades Oatchi after literally everything#like no I want the god dog now thank you Shepherd#this is totally not an excuse to try and see all of the ‘how tf did you get the quest done before I gave it’ dialogue what no way#also yes I’m doing this it’s so painful#10/10 would recommend
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finished hazbin hotel and what the fuck it's actually kind of??? good???
#random thoughts#i like it at least#the finale is SO GOOOOOOOD OH MY GOD#sir pentious going to heaven? alastor's solo? LILITH DROP???#like there are A LOT of things that could have been done better#like how vaggie as a character is very one-note and how angel's abuse is handled could DEFINITELY be better#especially considering how they handle pentious's gang rape (like tf)#but to be fair that joke was more a play on pentious's cowardice. the joke was more about how him bowing out of flirting escalated#rule of three's and all that#but god. when adam's mask cracked it DEFINITELY made me realize i thought that was just his face#'you only live because i let you' is such a petty way to phrase mercy#i DEFINITELY need to watch some analysis videos because am i missing stuff??? is it secretly bad???#yknow besides all the stuff with the creator which like. idr everything she did that was a shitshow#but like even the rape jokes are pretty mild for an adult comedy? they got rid of most of the offensive jokes pretty fast huh#most adult cartoons the first season or so is dedicated to the most offensive jokes before The Plot takes over#vaggie being an angel btw. not sure how to feel about that#i like how they handled it because it leans into the whole 'redemption' theming but like. feels very 'we need a conflict!'#which like i do appreciate because vaggie and charlie's relationship is too smooth sailing. throw some rocks in there#also 'i named you after the best thing: vaginas' is. hilarious actually. was that planned? or was that retconned in?#sir pentious as a character wasn't really. there enough in the latter half of the season for me to really feel anything about his death#like i liked him! very pathetic man. love his character design. but i think they should have alternated episodes#instead of just making the first few all about him#also his death was too sudden for me to feel particularly bad about. was convinced it was a fake out death#LOVE the ship callback tho. love me some chekhov's gun#btw i knew. literally nothing about hazbin hotel going into this. was watching the pilot like 'wait is this a musical'#bitsy. thingy. whatever her name is. fucking love her. PLEASE give her more knives.#fucking LOVE lucifer are you kidding? all that set-up for him to be a typical adult cartoon neglectful father and he's???#he fucking LOVES charlie holy shit. someone get this man some better communication skills stat#also? love his design. the prevalence of white really makes you remember he was the light bringer#hell
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Ok I was really hoping they wouldn't go for the whole 'jump (not so) straight in only for someone to get cold feet' trope but my god the pay off after next week better be worth it.
It's too early in the day to feel this much
#swarla#spoilers#Like...#They literally just did that without any sort of preamble#Yet have been like two scared teenagers for so long#Wasn't expecting THAT#críost ar neamh#I was doing so well until they weren't#And that conversation between Betsy and Carla#Woman was talking to herself by the end of that 😭#No Carla IT IS NOT GONE#SWOON WILL BE BACK FOR YOU#She's just doing yet another runner#Like mother like daughter I stg#Carla is literally the only person brave enough to point it out#Poor woman must be exhausted though#Those runners can only let her give chase for so long before she gets hurt#How tf am I supposed to live like this until Monday?#i am unwell
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it has been an evening of highs and lows, ladies and gentlemen.
#i made progress on some of my spotify playlists! i feel accomplished.#i *did* make a hence-deleted moodboard that i quite liked.#my am*zon package came which delivered beloved dopamines#and i looked a little more into the university i want to apply to#however this whole moodboard tag and link nonsense has exhausted me beyond all measure and deprived me of any hope or happiness#THAT SOUNDS DRAMATIC I KNOWW.#but truly. how tf am i supposed to make that work.#and researching universities is draining! nerve wracking! confusing!#i know i def want to apply to [redacted] but i am so scared and feel so unprepared.#and it is late. much later than i would like it to be; and i feel i have so many things more still to do#i have made a list for tomorrow and i will strive to get it all done before work.#also in warring with t*mblr today i found a way to mass replace tags on posts. and i know there are guides out there about finding posts#with no tags etc#i would like to further reorganize the posts i have on my blogs#but that is a big endeavor and will be shelved until i get my immediate crises figured out#lindsay.text
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Black Hat lunged at his counterpart, body contorting into a vicious conglomeration of teeth, smoke, tendrils, and distorted bone. An echoing symphony of shrill, unholy roars filled the room as the enraged demon carried out his onslaught, ripping into White Hat’s body with a fury unparalleled to anything Flug’s seen from him before. And considering how much Flug's seen already...
I wanted to make BH way bigger but then WH would look too smol to see well enough haha
@ Nosy anon, I promise I'll come up with a proper actual snippet to respond to this one of these days, but in the meantime, have this random impulse drawing and a very very short paragraph of fic to go along with it lol?
#villainous#body horror#black hat#white hat#flug#I wasn't planning on adding so many details to this but I got carried away when I discovered TRADITIONAL ART BRUSHES SHIIIT DUDE#WHY DID NOBODY TELL ME I COULD USE PENCIL AND WATERCOLOR DIGITALLY!!??#I MEAN I OBVIOUSLY SHOULD'VE KNOWN CONSIDERING HOW FAR TECHNOLOGY HAS COME BUT DANG#I'VE BEEN MISSING OUT THIS IS SO MUCH EASIER THAN HOWEVER TF I WAS GETTING BY BEFORE#OP#My writing motivation may be a finicky lil trickster but my drawing motivation has been weirdly active#Granted I'm more used to actual pencils and paints but hey#Maybe I'll do more of these lol#Way less cleanup to do 😆#I still have like three other White Hat drawings I've been meaning to post for a while but never got around to#Welp
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The consequences of my poor financial decisions are here!!
#blame Kat for this lmao. she got the Yangchen novels first and I very easily give in to peer pressure (that wasn't exerted. but whatever)#three days earlier than scheduled too. which worked out perfectly bc I picked them up on the way home from grandma's#and carried them for 2 km. 2 hardcover books + the thick cardboard boxset they're in#+ the backpack full of food my grandma gave me#in the rain#I nearly fucking died#I'm not made for this level of physical exercise 😅#okay moving on#nia stop calling things like this poor financial decisions challenge#it cost like. the equivalent of 40 bucks#I have 30 times as much hidden away in my sock drawer#and I am usually responsible with my spending. I'm allowed a slightly more expensive treat every once in a while#also my dad doesn't know but I'm sure if I would him 'hey I spent 3.8k on a pair of books is that okay'#he'd be like 'why tf are you asking when have I ever said no to you spending money'#but again. I do try to be mindful#which is why as much as I want the lok art books and could probably ask for money for them. I won't#bc they cost an arm and a leg and I cannot morally allow myself to spend that kind of money#anyway. getting distracted again#do you know how hard it was to get these? I checked like 3 marketplaces before I did#and I was fully ready to get them in russian because non-classical english books are impossible to come by here#sanctions and all that. but somehow I did. and it only cost half the money in my bank account#I don't even know if Russian editions exist. these books were written before the war and before the gay propaganda ban but still#I didn't find them when I looked. maybe they don't sell them now that the law is in place or smth#I don't really care enough to look it up#the point is. I now own the books and can happily read about best girl kyoshi whenever I want#if the stress for an upcoming event doesn't kill me. that is#also I have read rok before but it was 3 years ago so my memory is vague. and I just realised how much thinner sok is?#I'll have to check the page count later
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...
#ay. tomorrow might b the day i face the music#which is to say. i tell my advisor how fucked i am. i mean. ill spin it so it doesn't sound so bad#its just that ive told him like 2 weeks in a row that id send him my edited preproposal and i have not bc im too afraid to start reading#papers related to my project. which is frustrating. and like the thing is. and i kno ive said it before and i kno im not a fucking idiot#i can read papers and i can even understand what theyre broadly saying. but thats it.#zero critical thinking. zero insight. i use all my tiny fucking brain space to try to understand the words on the pages#and even then it only forms this broken fucking image of whats being said. like u dont understand. i used to struggle with writing papers bc#i couldnt fucking connect what i was saying from one paragraph to the next when i was the one doing the fucking writing.#what the fuck am i doing here? and again. im not stupid. i can follow the information if its fucking said out loud but thats not how this#works. and it just feels like sometimes there's a limit to what you're capable of and im at that fucking limit. the undergrads in my lab#have more ability to comment on papers than i do. its so fucking frustrating and i just have to live with knowing itll never get any easier#so what the fuck can i do other than drop out? theres no god damn way im gonna pass a comprehensive exam. not unless i buckel down and break#myself in half to try to retain all the information i need to. which requires that i read so many god damn papers that i cant fucking read.#just. why tf did i pick a career path where my suffering is inherent to a huge part of my job? i feel like ive consistently chosen to take#the hard path in life and ive finally stumbled too far from what is possible for me#so well see what comes out of my mouth tomorrow when i have my weekly meeting. i just feel like its my last semester#i feel like this is it. i just need someone to fucking hire me. bc everytime my lab mate mentions something abt#my project down the line or talks abt future conferences i should attend. im just like. its a nice idea but that's not happening. im just#at the end of the line and it sucks#unrelated
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He walked straight into the lions den and now he's paying for it. Walked in under prepared, and so caught up in his own plans that he neglected to account for how dangerous a place it would truly be. He should of listened to Arcade. He should of avoided all contact with the legion. Yet here he stands in the tent of Caesar staring down the man who once shot him in the head. Ordered to choose this mans fate. Disparaged for a lack of blood lust when he'd proposed freeing him.
The concealed 22. in his coat feels like it's weighing him down. The 'machete' that's more lawnmower blade that's in his hand- ill-fitting for a physician. He's running through his options. He doesn't want to kill Benny, but... two attack dogs. Five praetorians. Caesar himself. Two other high ranking legion officers... Another guard, another dog, both waiting outside with his friend and robot.
He feels ill. He's overheating. The ground is uneven. Every imperfection of the wrappings around the machete dig into his hand. There is no winning a fight here.
'Close your eyes if you want to.' 'Make it clean.' 'I shall.'
Despite his best efforts - It takes 16 strikes.
16 strikes. Followers coat now drenched in blood. He looks back to Caesar and wonders whether he looks as bloodthirsty as he was asked to be, or simply as terrified as he feels.
#2024 nv playthrough#oc: JS Antyllus#Antyllus proceeds to then grill tf out of Caesar about EVERYTHING#leaves the tent afterwards and before Arcade can start going off about Caesar's interpretation of Hegelian dialectics he's-#-grabbing him with a bloody hand going 'we're clear to go. we need to go NOW. RIGHT NOW we need to go.'#'That man is even more insane than I thought- this place is insane. We need to LEAVE. I am SO SO SORRY we came here.'#(which... with how unapologetic Antyllus often is?? big)#'I have severe brain damage and am going to listen to your advice from now on I promise. Did you HEAR what he was saying from out here????-#'-we have got to talk about /all that/ once we get out of here.'#(also sorry I keep just dumping writing into the void here. I gotta just get it out yaknow???)
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ughh why do i have to have njghtmares about them
#in it i was fighting w him over text and then hetm gangsd uep on me#sorry uemin so tired#i have been having a hard time being labelled a quote unquote cheater when i very strongly feel like thats not what happened#and it bothers me knowing that they get to justify their side and avoid responsibility by calling me that#when again. we were literally broken up when i sent that text to the wrong chat#and to be even more fair to me it was the lightest thing of all time it was playful kissies and lovings#like all of this is so wack. like to be labelled that while doing something so small while we werent even together#the drawing stuff is literally normal . ive done that with my kther friends before i even met sable. you are ridiculous#like it just aggrivates me because thats such a sticky smear to put on somebody especially when thats not even what happened#its so overblown and i think thats on purpose to have one last thing to justify your side#and ignore the fact that he was not the best partner to me and stressed me tf out all the time#like how am i a cheater when i played by your rules the whole time we were together#because of how insecure you are. uou let your insecurity become your reality#and i realized how much more taken care of i was with angelo and how naturally we flow together#its so natural to talk to him he is what i have needed. i would be foolish not to pick prince charming#over someone who i felt only fed me stress and anxiety and worry about everything including potential addiction issues#knowing theyre bipolar. knowing they have bpd. participating in dangerous behavior all the time#i feel like calling me a cheater when thats not what fuckin happened is just to handwave away wtf you did wrong the entire time#if i actually cheated id have been slobbering on angels meat the whole time like im sorry#id have been doing spins on it and gagging on it every night but the thing is i didnt#i stayed loyal to you while with you and confided in them as friends while you continuously demanded time from me#that wasnt organic and it was forced half of the time . god i hated playing shit with your stupid ass#so fucking monotone always wanting to do the same shit no variety and always getting upset and throwing tantrums over the smallest things#n then when that behavior once again gets put on me and i get more fucking stressed yeah i turn to my other friends#that arent anything like the other friendgroup because they dont do shit about anything and dont really gaf about snything#except for their own problems#and i confide in the other group because they actually show that they care about me. they relieve stress for me like friends are supposed 2
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i do not like when people say kaede would be a static protagonist if she survived the game like as if she wouldnt have 5 whole additional chapters for shit to be thrown her way and see how she'd change and adapt... plenty of writers have pulled off this idea with flying colors so idk why ppl say "ok but IN CANON kaede would just vote hope/despair in the end!" like LITERALLY WE DONT KNOW THATTT THOUGHHHH . shuichi was very different in ch1 compared to ch6 why is kaede exempt from this logic...............
#i legit think kaede would kinda go thru 'negative' development for a chapter or 2??#before smth causes her to lock tf in and drop that one-track mind naive mindset entirely she had in ch1#she would NOTTT be a good leader and ppl would quickly realize that and not see her as a reliable 'leader' type#after the death road despair#and finding out she went behind their backs with shuichi w their mastermind plan#who. well in most scenarios he'd be dead after ch1#usually thats how it goes#kaito would absolutely still play the role of a supportive friend for her like he did for shuichi tho thats just who he is#ugh i wanna write a kaede lives fic so badly but i have comorbid autism/adhd and a full time job and im mostly a visual artist#Sad! maybe someday#guys can you play touys with me (roleplay an entire rewrite of alt v3 where kaede lives so i dont have to write the whole thing myself#and we can get real weird with it)#anybody? no? thats fine.
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:)
#LETSGOOO MOMOOOOOOOOOOOOO#luffy grabbing lightning bolts... nami youve got competition....#kaido saying roger and oden didnt have devil fruits and how you cant conquer the world with one... well they are also dead. rip bozos#NOOOO HIYORIIIIIII SOMEONE KILL THIS MAN!!!!#JESUS CHRIST THAT PUNCH!!! onigashima is on the way. move it. he is too used to zoro....#talking tag#watching one piece#episode 1074#the new opening is cute... wish the different scenes could be longer bc i have been sotpping to see them well akdhaks#can someone PLEASE help hiyori..... there are too many people just chilling DENJIRO!!!!!! FUCK YES!!!! but now pleaseeee finish him off...#omg the ballon ajdksjjs wish fullfilled!!!! YEAAHHH MOMOOOOOO#the samurais praying to luffy.... do i even need to make a post about luffy as a god now.... it's just like plain obvious and not bc of nik#episode 1075#kaido lore??? did he betray rocks pirates??? the fucking witch again??? how tf did she orchestrate all this.#she started how the value of someone is determined by war. which considering this is a shonen and strength is everything... i appreciate it#which might be why kaido is such a good antagonist to luffy. he wants people to live as slaves to make weapons and create wars#the strong ones get to be soldiers and act out that war. and kaido enjoys fighting also.... luffy on the other hand sees people for what#they are and the freedom they should have and he will beat kaido by not engaging in his style of fighting to be the strongest but by being#the silliest. literally. its just too good.#<- official analysis for now i guess#oh jesus..... LETSGOOO MOMOOOOOO omg luffy can see the wishes..... FUCK YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH#luffy wishing for a world where his friends get to eat whatever they want.... oof..... tama.....#i have realised before the timeskip i cried bc situations were sad but ever since fishman island i have teared up bc of happiness....#like at the end of fishman island and now... wait except wci but that was a drama so one exception#episode 1076
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Also what is going on with the Daydreaming One??? She has a sister but can't remember her name to the point that she believes she's an only child. Did the sister went to that island in the north that mysteriously disappeared that no one can say the name of anymore? Is that also the island where the king came from cuz whenever you beat him, he keeps saying how he still can't say "it." What's "it"?
#ariaplays: isat#isat spoilers#aight thats enough for the day again. but for the next loop am gon try and get a LOT done. and by that i just mean get me#here. looking for an item has got to be the biggest struggle ive ever had cuz i suck at remembering Which is Where#also the lil phrase the king says before beginning battle is a bit awkward cuz he's like: let's see which one the universe favors#well... im sorry to break it to you my guy but its definitely not you. speaking of awkward siffrin seems to have hit home with#when talking with loop bout how siff started calling everyone ''family members.'' honestly im soooo curious bout what#is up with loop. that theory hangout was one thing but like their Whole thing is so mysterious and interesting in that i#wanna know a lot bout em. they also did tell siff that theyve been in a similar situation before too. being in a timeloop#howd that happen. howd they get outta it. why do they know bout siff but siff doesnt know them. what happened to them#why do they look the way that they do and what did they mean bout siff being ''all that's left.'' so many questions...#yet so lil answers. well id get the answers sooner or later! first... i need to figure out where tf is that article bout the king
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