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#how our relationship is with our parents
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sparklingchim · 3 months
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#can i yap for a moment#im extremely sleepy but im feeling very upset and mad and confused#also lowkey questioning whether me feeling all that is justified or if i am overreacting#anyway#made out w a boy tonight#and he wanted to go to his place#and i was like no i wanna stay and dance with my girlies#and he gets upset??#asking why i'd kiss him if i don't wanna hook up and i said i just wanna have fun?#made me feel so stupid#that anger in me led to a little fight with another boy (who was unfortunately very cute) and i just wanted to punch him#i just hate when boys think they're so superior#so i argued with this stupid but hot man#until an ex? friend shows up and he was pretty drunk just yapping about things#anyway he basically told me he'd like to rekindle our friendship#but not in a heyy haven't talked in so long let's meet up again#it was in a heyy let's hang out again got a new big car and moved out of my parent's house 😋#which gave me the ick bc that's why we aren't friends anymore and i told him no multiple times#and got sad bc he was one of my closest friends#anyway and then we left the party#this guy pulls me aside the parking lot#and i was so embarrassed bc there were so many people and they were all looking and i could already see people gossiping about it#and i just wanted to die#and then he just CONFESSES??#gives me flowers and all which is saur saur cute#but i legit have zero feelings for him </3#and have commitment issues and have never been in a relationship and don't wanna be in one#actually grosses me out thinking about relationships </3#the confession was so random and i kinda lost another friendship? even tho i wouldn't rlly consider him a friend we just share sum classes#but yeah boys are so stupid and confusing and i dunno how and why i get myself into these situations :') m sorry just needed to rant </3
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eebie · 6 months
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Fish, 7 (For your prompts! ❤️)
Hi, anon!! Thank you for the prompt, you were the very first one to send one in! 7 was, again, the wildcard, so I randomly generated a different number to land on Yue Qingyuan (from Scum Villain)! I have no choice but to dedicate this to @bytedykes, because I told her about this prompt and she said “yqy pet fish mental health speedrun” and we went, uh, a little insane about it. Enjoy some yuefang, folks!!!!
“Mu-xiong,” Yue Qingyuan says. “I’m sorry to bother you. Are you available?”
“Yue-xiong is never a bother,” Mu Qingfang says warmly. “And I am, actually, yes. Is everything okay, Yue-xiong?”
“I think I need help.” A bit dramatic, perhaps, and Yue Qingyuan hates to trouble Mu Qingfang on a rare day off, but Yue Qingyuan and impulse have never been the best combination, and he would appreciate a second opinion.
Mu Qingfang’s voice turns hard. “Where are you? I'll come right away.”
“What—?” Yue Qingyuan stares at his phone like the blank call screen will tell him why Mu Qingfang suddenly sounds so serious. “I'm at home, but—”
“I'll be right there,” Mu Qingfang says, and hangs up.
Yue Qingyuan stares at his phone for another second, then lifts his gaze to his sparkling new aquarium. His new betta, white and black and resplendent of fin, stares back. Was his crisis of faith about his viability as a fish owner really so deserving of such urgency…?
“So,” Mu Qingfang says. “This was your emergency?” He looks about as unimpressed by the betta as it does by the two of them.
Yue Qingyuan feels obscurely like he’s being scolded. Mu Qingfang is one of the nicest men he knows, but that just means that his censure takes the form of a blunt instrument of mass disappointment.
“In my defense,” he points out meekly, “I didn’t say there was an emergency. Mu-xiong just assumed.”
“That’ll teach me,” Mu Qingfang huffs, but at least he looks amused. “Yue-xiong should get used to asking for help more so this gege doesn’t have to panic every time he does ask.”
Yue Qingyuan’s mouth almost drops open. He can only hope his cheeks aren’t as red as they feel. “Er—well, I asked this time, didn’t I?”
“You did,” Mu Qingfang allows, looking something horribly close to fond. Yue Qingyuan swallows and tries to hurry on.
“So—not an emergency, but I do want your opinion,” he coughs out. “I’m having… doubts. About the fish.” Mu Qingfang’s eyebrows contract. Yue Qingyuan rushes it out. “Do you think I should keep it?”
“Yue-xiong…” Mu Qingfang looks politely incredulous. “Why does my opinion matter? The fish is already yours, isn’t it? If you don’t think maintaining its upkeep will be feasible, that’s one thing, but… Surely Yue-xiong did the research before getting it?”
He doesn’t sound judgemental, but Yue Qingyuan feels his cheeks warm. “I did, but I wasn’t planning on getting a fish; I was only admiring the tanks. There was a salesperson who was… very insistent.”
Mu Qingfang regards him doubtfully, which is fair. Yue Qingyuan towers over most people he meets, and his bulk only further adds to the impression of immovability. It’s only when he opens his mouth that it becomes clear how spineless he actually is.
Yue Qingyuan falters. “I had thought… I thought it might be nice.” The bettas had seemed so majestic in their tanks, iridiscent monarchs of false grass and plastic coves, and Yue Qingyuan had thought, wildly, that one might be rewarding to keep, might breathe a touch of life into his immaculately sleek living room. The whole affair hadn’t even been expensive by his shiny new standards, forget difficult to physically arrange. It was only when installation and set-up for his new aquarium had finished and he was left to watch that jewel-bright being swim disaffectedly through its new home that doubt had seized him, all-consuming and black. He had, admittedly, panicked a little after that.
(Yue Qingyuan’s apartment is very large, and very clean, and very empty. It holds the barest amount of decoration and muss to qualify as lived-in rather than a snapshot from a magazine ad. The fish may, in fact, be the only thing in the entire place which really qualifies as his. No wonder Yue Qingyuan wanted to jettison it from his life as soon as he got it.)
Mu Qingfang’s expression hovers between concern and simple confusion. “I’m sure Yue-xiong will be a more than adequate caretaker,” he says, more gently than Yue Qingyuan and all his neuroses probably deserve. “What’s this really about, Yue-xiong?”
Ah. There it is. Being the mildest person of Yue Qingyuan’s admittedly sharp-tongued social circle doesn’t preclude Mu Qingfang’s wit from being as keen as the scalpels he works with.
“I don’t…” Yue Qingyuan falters. How to express to Mu Qingfang how manifestly unfit Yue Qingyuan is to care for any living creature at all? He changes tack. “I think he hates me,” he admits dolefully.
Mu Qingfang stares at him for a long time, long enough to imply that he’s reevaluating certain opinions about Yue Qingyuan’s intelligence. “Yue-xiong, with all due respect to your new pet—it’s a fish.”
“Fish have emotions!” Yue Qingyuan argues. He flushes at the volume at which it comes out, and at the way Mu Qingfang’s eyes go wide-eyed in startlement. But the salesperson had been very insistent about that, as well. “Bettas are intelligent animals. They dislike certain colors, apparently, and they’re very sensitive—ah, to environmental disruptions, that is. And—”
Mu Qingfang’s eyebrows are still high, but his face has relaxed into a smile. “It sounds to me like you like it quite a bit already. Isn’t that reason enough to keep it?” His tone curls with sudden mischief. “Have heart, Yue-xiong—you’ve hardly known each other for a day! Give it time to adjust to you, and I’m sure you’ll win it over as surely as you do everyone else.” And he grins, sure and easy in his trust that Yue Qingyuan won’t fumble and shatter something so small and monumental as a life that he could cup in his palms.
While Yue Qingyuan is still dazed by that, Mu Qingfang’s eyes alight with interest. “Ah, Yue-xiong—what have you named it?”
“...”
Mu Qingfang’s face falls as devastatingly as it had lit up. “Yue-xiong…”
“Mu-xiong is aware that I was unsure of whether or not I’d keep him!” Yue Qingyuan is terribly aware that his ears are now heating up to match his cheeks. Mu Qingfang’s ensuing laughter does not help with that matter.
Yue Qingyuan is not very good at holding onto things. More often than not, he makes a mess of whatever he’s set his clumsy hands to, lets it fall right through his scarred fingers. But Mu Qingfang’s words ring through his head: Isn’t that reason enough to keep it? And, well, isn’t it? Surely Yue Qingyuan is adult enough to follow through on this. Maybe happiness can be look like his new betta swimming up to the tank to observe the new colorful form moving in front of it, can come as easy as Mu Qingfang quipping that his knowledge about fish is clearly lacking and vowing casually to read up on bettas to be a better fish uncle.
Yue Qingyuan buries a smile and walks over to let Mu Qingfang know that bettas can be trained to follow fingers around. The betta’s clear preference for Mu Qingfang over Yue Qingyuan is as good a marker of intelligence as any fun fact the pet shop worker could have given him. Yes, Yue Qingyuan thinks with a smile—he thinks he’ll be keeping this after all.
#yqy in canon: i make impulsive decisions of a scale where they torpedo my entire life#me: got it. in a modern au he makes expensive impulse purchases and then returns them immediately after#bc he can't conceptualize doing things for himself and also has no idea how to spend all his money he doesn't know what to do with#(this is suchh a vague modern au lmao like mqf is obv still a doctor#but i didn't write yqy as his boss here and am not sure what he does in this world or why he's rich now#and i have no idea who the fucking pet shop salesperson was either)#don't worry about it okay? just enjoy the yuefang and the fruits of my and nik's agenda to make all our fave sect leaders fish owners#i personally see mqf as older than yqy! in this au he thinks he could be really into yqy#but he respects that yqy doesn't seem to be looking for a relationship (and that he has some shit going on that he hasn't seen fit to share#with mqf yet)#so he's content to stick to some mild flirting while enjoying their friendship#meanwhile yqy is totally divorced from the concept of attraction (directed at or coming from him)#so he panics every time mqf flirts with him but has no fucking idea that that's actually what's happening#they would be so good together :)) mqf is going to be such a good fish co-parent :)) this fish is going to get these two together okay :)))#the betta is a black dragon/orchid; i couldn't decide so it's up to you#writing this was kinda funny bc the fish could and probably should have been a metaphor for sj#but i wanted to write smth yqy-centric that didn't directly allude to him even once#and i succeeded!!!#the entire reason i wrote this as modern au was bc i thought of mqf calling yqy 'yue-xiong' and went insane btw#OKAY SHUTTING UP NOW. THANK YOU AGAIN ANON!!!!!#asks#anonymous#my writing#svsss#yue qingyuan#mu qingfang#yuefang#yqy tag
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skyloftian-nutcase · 27 days
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So I’m kinda curious, I know you said you are not much of a shipping person (aside from like SkSw Zelink and Miphlink) but are there any of the popular ships that stand out either as ones you think are cute or ones you really do not like?
Hmmm 🤔 I’m fairly neutral or just meh about most, but I guess there are a few that stand out? Or maybe I should just list my opinions on the major ones I know of?
BotW Zelink - I don’t mind it post Calamity. Not really into it pre-calamity, it feels like it’s at the expense of a relationship that’s already there (Mipha and Link). But dang the two definitely would be close after the calamity, given that they’re the only ones who have such a shared experience. I could see it being romantic or platonic, and there’s kind of a heavy leaning towards romantic but then totk also makes it seem platonic sometimes too?? Whatever. Nintendo likes to be vague (except Skyward Sword, let’s be real, nothing about that was vague lol), but I can see it happening after everything.
Midlink - I think it’s sweet. I think in canon Link’s most likely gonna either be with Ilia or someone we don’t even see in the game as he travels, but Midna definitely could’ve had a chance with him if there’d been more time for them. They had good chemistry, and the physical attraction was clearly there when Link saw her true form.
OoT Zelink - Nope. Especially Adult Timeline, absolutely not. It’s a pet peeve of mine that people ship this Link with anyone in the Adult Timeline - he is a child in a teenager’s body. NO. Sure, his body might be attracted to people, but his brain sure ain’t figuring it out, and anybody who wants to explore that just… no. NO. As for Child Timeline, I feel like this Link has a hard time reconciling what happened, has a hard time letting go, and would therefore have a really difficult time separating Child Timeline Zelda from Adult Timeline Zelda and that would lead to too many mixed feelings. I can’t see them getting together. This ship is either entirely one sided (I can 100% see Adult Timeline Zelda romanticizing the Hero she’s been waiting for before she really realizes that he’s still a kid, if she ever realizes it) or nonexistent.
Malink - I quite like it. I honestly didn’t really see it in the game, there’s like… enough for it to happen, I guess, but admittedly Linked Universe has made me biased. But given that it’s heavily implied TP Link and OoT Link are related, and TP Link knows Epona’s song, and Malon was a friend of Link’s, and she talks of marrying a knight in shining armor, and Shade is a knight in shining armor… I can put two and two together. And I think they’d be cute together.
Sidlink - Just… why. I get that half the fandom is in love with Sidon, so they project that, but good grief. Link was engaged to his sister. That’s some Hamlet level incest nonsense there. Link may not remember Mipha all that well but Sidon freaking does. Just because the dude is ridiculously sweet and supportive to literally everyone and about literally everything doesn’t mean he’s romantically inclined towards everyone. He’s a golden retriever, there are two brain cells firing between those fins, let the man just be happy and vibe, good grief. I had this opinion before totk came out, and then the addition of Yona made me laugh because I knew the fandom would blow up about it, but she’s honestly really sweet and good for him - I loved when she called him out to help him, she’s a good wife, I like her 😤
Uh… I think those are all the popular ships I have any kind of actual opinions about? Aside from Skyward Sword Zelink and Miphlink, love them both, mwuah. The rest I’m just meh. 🤷🏻‍♀️
Honestly, I’m very inclined to say that just because two people share oxygen together doesn’t mean they’re gonna fall in love. Just because two people might have some chemistry doesn’t mean they’re gonna fall in love. And just because two hormonal teenagers think each other is hot does not mean they’re gonna end up together. But since romance is such a huge thing in fandoms and in our culture, and I am very much not in a romantic relationship and therefore the culture makes me feel like my life is incomplete, I am not very inclined to get into shipping all that much (translation: sometimes shipping is downright annoying to me, and I hate it when fandoms ship characters together just because they like each other as if other relationships can’t even exist or be meaningful), even the ones that I love. My biggest weakness is loving families, though, so that’s usually where I cheat lol.
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eyestrain-addict · 4 months
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Iwtv s2 ep2 spoilers
My thing I'm wondering is that in the promos/trailers claudia screams that Louis "picked another one over me" but in this episode she's encouraging louis to live outside of her and pursue a romance with Armand. I wonder what's going to change in the next few episodes.
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uncanny-tranny · 8 months
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Hi! would you by any chance have tips on how to get a binder when your parents refuse to buy you one? ☹️
That's definitely a sensitive and complex answer, and while I might not know of the best option for your unique situation, there are some ways you can go about this.
If it's a foregone conclusion that you cannot convince them of this, what I used to do is DIY my binder. The ways I primarily did this were:
Option One: Wearing a camisole that was one size smaller than I actually was (so, wearing a small instead of a medium, for instance), then folding it up over my chest. As a disclaimer, this may only work well if you are smaller in the chest
Option Two: Layering two sports bras in my size over each other. Some of the DIY tips I found before I got a traditional binder advised to wear one sports bra in your size, then wear another sports bra backwards in a size smaller. I would advise against this for potential safety reasons, but also because (at least personally), it can be ineffective and a waste of resources.
Some people have also had friends or other family members order their binder for them, but this can be risky, depending on your situation. While I don't know the ins and outs of your specific circumstances, risk management is important to me, so I would recommend this if it is a risk that is acceptable to make.
I understand what it's like to not have access to this resource, so what I will do is advise you against:
Binding with ace bandages (I did this before (multiple times, in fact, because of dysphoria), and believe me, not only did it hurt like hell, but it constricted my body so heavily that I may have done long-term harm)
Wearing a DIY binder (or any kind, for that matter) for longer than your body can handle
Doing DIY in such a way that even mimics binding with ace bandages. This means that your binder shouldn't constrict your ribs, breathing, or range of movement
Here are some general good practices that you should use to guide you for any type of binding, whether traditional or DIY:
When you start binding, only do so in very short sessions to begin with. While binding shouldn't outright hurt, it can be a weird transition while your body is getting used to that new sensation
Minimize heavy lifting or exercise while binding. If it is unavoidable, drink plenty of water and take plenty of breaks
Stretch after binding
Don't bind while sick or have inflammation in your lungs or chest
If you DIY, treat your binder like it is a traditional binder. Don't make the mistake of assuming you don't need to listen to your body because you aren't using a "traditional" binding method
Ultimately, listen to your body. If it is telling you that it needs a break, honour that. Your body isn't punishing you, it is trying to keep you (and it) safe, even if it doesn't feel like it
In the end, this isn't perfect. Sometimes, parents do come around, even in their own ways, even if little by little, they come around. When I first came out officially around 2016, I was convinced that my transition would be completely forbade by my family; I concealed a lot of it in the worst instances of this. However, now, I think most of my family has come through their own journey with the understanding of the reality of what and who I am. I tell you this, anon, because I want you to know that this, too , shall pass. You can make it. I know this might be devastating to you, and believe me, I know what that's like. But it won't be forever. These bridges aren't burnt forever, and I hope you can find your happiness and contentment wherever it may be.
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apollos-olives · 10 months
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i genuinely don't know what to do anymore. i tried using my voice and it was taken away from me in seconds. i gave up weeks of my life in order to share my story, but in the end it was all for waste. i can't even breathe. this is fucking horrible.
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witchofthesouls · 3 months
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You know how really young kids freak out when daddy goes to shave the beard? Did unmasked Tarn have that experience? 🤔 🤣
Yes, he did.
Tarn learned well after the first clutch to start getting used to (or at least occasionally) go barefaced in his private quarters.
Poor things were so confused. Sparks don't lie, but they have severely limited life experience, and their newfound eyesight made the sparklings terrified from the confusion.
And it doesn't help that the second clutch (still blind and weak) wailed in sympathy because they felt the panic from their older siblings. There's danger!
(Tarn thought it was the scars. You smacked that out of him as you're coaxing the split-sparks to come out from their hiding spot beneath the berth because the clutch didn't have issues with Vos' party trick and Kaon's burnt out optics. Your Conjunx just needs to give the bitties time.)
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the-pea-and-the-sun · 2 months
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i dont even just think saiki is aromantic i think the entire show is aromantic
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boeing747 · 4 months
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T shirt that says "there is no possible way you could love me that would feel like love to me"
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oopdeathnote · 2 years
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Your daddy issues compelled you to write Soichiro as a bad parent to vent, I write him as an ideal father figure who has semi adopted all of the under thirties in the story. We are not the same.
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monsterbisexual · 1 month
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the silt verses: chapter 34
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chapter 38
#p#tsv#the silt verses#im being so brave n tagging this + making it rb-able. i think#posting this for my own benefit cuz it made me go nuts (positive) when i listened to ch 38 n got to this part#i was like WAIT THIS REMINDS ME OF SMTH#n then i found the right ep to check the transcript for the first one n i was like YESSSS >:)#this podcast dude.....im eating it its eating me we're (cant spell the O word) snake eating self thing#this is like. what if we were both prophets of our faith (in different ways i think)#n bargaining w our god for the safety of our loved ones#basically threatening it w the power we have over it#And we were both trans??? :O#Also! how theyre both v like jaded abt their god when they started w good intentions (paige)#or like such zealous belief n feel the bad actions u do are justified by ur faith n its for ur god etc (faulkner but i worded it badly)#now that im rambling here: anyway i do miss that faulkner era sldjk like hes still doing fucked up stuff ofc#but at this point he admitted he doesnt feel the same abt the trawler man n is maybe more like carpenter at the beginning of the series#ok 38 made me cry it was wild actually. the stuff w his dad got me dude!!!#him telling raine that hes wanted to like confront his dad for not being around for him+his brothers n basically abandoning him eventually#but now that theyre together again he cant cuz his dad isnt even like. himself sometimes n needs to be looked after etc#this podcast is great w complicated parental/family relationships i think. faulkner n his alive brother+dad#paige w her dad + carpenter w nana glass#anyway back to 38 lol n when faulkner had to comfort his dad who thought he was his abusive uncle not his son n kept repeating#''i love u. im not him'' jeeeeez#then when his dad is more coherent n they have a long talk abt how faulkner (richard lol) has been n that he thinks hes rly fucked things u#<- CORRECT#OHH n the trans stuff omg like 'ur voice is deeper than last time i saw u' n feelin bad he couldnt afford#testosterone when faulkner was younger n stuff n saying how he looks n sounds suits him n skdjdk wah#ok posting this before i can regret it byeee
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i would like to stop experiencing the full spectrum of human emotions every day please. putting this out into the universe
#had suchhh a good workday. had hot pot with my roommate where we talked about our quarter life crises#and then came home and had a 3 hour screaming match with both of my parents where i said i was cutting them out of my life#it turns out. my dad still does not understand what the word bi means even tho his fucking wife is bi#he was like 'so you marry someone and six months later you see someone else you like and u go marry them instead?'#like genuinely. truly trying to understand#and that shocked me enough to stop crying#do not reblog please#like in hindsight it is SO funny#and that was the point where i was like. wait is this not malice#this is homophobia but i don't think it's malice#anyways we're all Ok now#we've agreed that i'm going to do what i want#and even if they're unhappy they're still gonna have a relationship with me#and they'll figure out how to adjust#my brother periodically came into the room and also screamed at my parents#i feel bad for them a lil bit. like they're not bad people#after he left my mom told me that a week and a half ago#my brother came into her room and told her that when she died he would bury her in a grave instead#of the traditional last rites (cremation rituals etc etc)#if she wouldn't accept me#and my mom said she was on a bunch of meds cause she's sick so she was so out of it it didn't even register what he was going on about#and then today after that convo she was like WAIT A MIN WHAT THE FUCK DID THIS BOY SAY TO ME#funniest 16 year old u could have on your side#truly he kept coming into the room every 5 min and going HEY HAVE YOU BOTH CONSIDERED NOT BEING HOMOPHOBIC. HAVE YOU.#HEY CAN U TELL YOUR DAUGHTER YOU STILL LOVE HER MAYBE??? THINK??? USE YOUR BRAIN???#this is why i would die for this kid#he's the best#he's such an idiot most of the time but when he's not being an idiot he's my favorite person on earth#don't tell him that tho anyone please#he'll hold it against me forever and ever as siblings do
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redrobin-detective · 10 months
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You better learn it fast, you better learn it young 'cause someday never comes
Father was coming. Months and months of waiting for him to reach out and, finally, Father was coming home. It wouldn't be to stay, no, he had his own life outside of the ice. As much as Ice Thing who had once been Gunter and before that Orgalorg missed him, they knew father had earned his flesh and freedom back. The crown had been Father's prison but it was Ice Thing's bright new future. Once upon a time, they would have never been satisfied with this; paltry powers and a minor kingdom but Father's influence had shown them the beauty of a simple life.
"Come on everyone, Father and the others will be here any minute and I want this place spotless," Ice Thing announced, clapping their way through the hoard of penguins careful not to jostle them. They were the master now but Ice Thing would always be one of them.
"Wenk," Guntilla said, flapping her fins.
"No, he's just visiting and if we want him to visit again everything needs to be perfect," Ice Thing explained impatiently.
"Wenk, wenk," Goonder noted bitterly.
"Don't talk about him like that, he may look and act different but he's still our father. I expect all of you to be on your best behavior or we'll have no snacks or cuddles tonight and that's a promise," the rest of the penguins wenked in dismay and hastily went back to cleaning the Ice Palace. They were just putting the final touches on the charcuterie board when there was a knock at the door.
"Oh they're here!" Ice Thing exclaimed, "Gonther, Ginty, open the door and let our guests in." They stood in the entryway holding the ice board of snacks when the group shuffled in. Big sister Marceline - elder only in years as Father's child and not in age- and younger brother Finn were there followed by friend Jake. The Candy Princess was absent, Ice Thing was neither surprised or unsurprised given her bad history at this palace. Father was hanging towards the back of the group, looking shyly around the place. He had on an obnoxiously big coat with his hands stuffed under his armpits. He was using the coat more as a shield than out of any desire for warmth.
"Welcome! Welcome!" Ice Thing exclaimed, shoving the ice tray into Jake's hands so they could shake everyone's hands. "I was delighted to get your message; I'm so happy you guys could come. Please stay as long as you like, here have some snacks, have anything you want. The fruit of the Ice Kingdom is yours for the picking!"
"Thank you for having us," Father said quietly. His mouth quirked up into a little smile as some of the penguins waddled up to him and flapped at his knees. "And hello there, how have you all been?"
"Wenk," Gunder elaborated. Father blinked in confusion at the various chirpings. Ice Thing had worried Father would lose his affinity for Penguinese along with, well, everything else. The others would be so disappointed but they'd deal with that particular heartbreak later.
"He says he's better now that you're home," Ice Thing translated before hastily continuing when they saw father's grim expression. "Of course I've explained that this is just a visit." They reinforced to the penguins still mobbing Father. "Father doesn't live here anymore, he has his own home to return to. He's here to collect his things from the Past Room, remember?"
"Father?" Marceline muttered under her breath with a guarded look.
"I mean it makes sense, Simon or wait I guess he was Ice King back then was always babying these guys and calling himself Daddy and stuff sooooo," Jake continued. He opened his jaw wide and ate the entire charcuterie board, ice tray included. "So I guess you don't speak penguin anymore, huh?"
"I guess not," Father said, hands awkwardly hovering over the heads of his penguins, children who had not seen him for months on end and demanded attention. Some begged for forgiveness for whatever kept him away from home. Some screamed at his absence, at his change. Some wept, believing he no longer loved them. Father, ignorant to their chittering, looked up at Ice Thing with poorly disguised anxiety.
"Gunter," Ice Thing said to his second in command. "Please show our guests to the Past Room so they can get stared. Ice boxes are all set for you down there. I'll let Father take what he needs from his bedroom and he'll join you downstairs soon."
"Why the rush? I think we should all go together?" Marceline frowned. They didn't know what she was jealous of when Father clearly favored her best.
"Marcy, come on, let them have some alone time. I think they got some Daddy-Alien Penguin Child stuff to sort through," Finn loudly whispered which everyone heard. Father's tanned cheeks turned an embarrassed red but said nothing. "Alright Gunter 2, lead the way!" He spun around to follow after the penguin and the others followed leaving Ice Thing alone with his father. They'd missed him terribly but now that he was here, they had no idea what to say.
"Your room just as you left it, didn't touch a thing. It's always open to you, if you ever want to come back, for a visit or for longer. The Ice Kingdom will always be your home," Ice Thing explained cheerily as he showed him the path Father undoubtedly knew. Father was silent as he walked quietly behind them.
"The penguins have missed you," so did I, went unsaid. "I'm sure they would love it if stopped by more often, or even just called."
"I didn't mean to abandon them," Father said slowly, carefully. "I will admit I was scared of coming back, afraid that being here would - I don't know - make me turn into him again or something. I didn't forget about them or you, I-I guess I hadn't framed our relationship as you had."
"You hate the Ice King," Ice Thing said, their voice becoming rough and losing it's whimsy as they stood in the entryway of his father's former bedroom. Blue mumus, various colored pencils and cracked ice sculptures were littered on the floor, unmoved since their owner last threw them there. Ice Thing had stood in this doorway many times, intending on tidying up the space but found they could not touch their father's abandoned possessions. Then he really would be gone.
"I don't really hate-"
"You deny all the things he loved in order to separate yourself from him. You stay with sister Marceline and care for brother Finn but we were your children the longest and instead you shun us." Ice Thing stated coldly, staring ahead into the vacant room and not at the familiar imposter beside him.
"The Ice King was silly and kind and full of feelings he could not understand much less control. But he was, more than everything, my beloved father. I understand he was not you and you were not him but you are the only thing that remains of him and so I must either build a relationship with you from broken scraps or accept that he is lost forever." They finally turned to look at the pale, stricken human. "My daddy is gone but I am willing to make due with a father if you are."
"Gunter," Father whispered softly, staring into Ice Thing's crystalline eyes. Father may have changed but his eyes were still pale wizard blue and just as sad. He wordlessly opened his arms and Ice Thing -a king and a god but also a parentless child - shuffled forward into his embrace. He was warm. It felt wrong but also strangely right.
"I'm so sorry," Father took a deep steadying breath. "I don't mean to but somehow I end up leaving the people I love behind. I know it must be strange to see me like this but the man I was... I was so miserable and confused and out of control. It took so long to escape from the crown that I kept away from anything reminding me of my old life. I wanted to be my own person outside of his craziness but by doing so I lost my connection to all the good things I had as Ice King and you all were one of my good things." Father pulled back and looked up at them.
"I'll be better. I'll stop by more often and bring treats and generally be more present. I... Daddy promises," he said awkwardly trying to infuse his old self into the words. But the attempt fell flat into the air, sinking like the dust on his father's old life. Ice Thing appreciated it but they had already made peace with their loss. They had watched Father and Marceline circle each other miserably for centuries. That would not be them.
"Thank you, Father," Ice Thing said, gently squeezing his father's delicate human shoulders. "Please take what you'd like from this room but I'm going to leave for you in case you need it. As I said, the Ice Kingdom was once yours and its lights will always be on for you. And if you ever need to talk, let us say I know what it's like to have your loved one changed and gone before your eyes."
"Yes, I suppose you do," Father muttered mostly to himself. "What did I ever do to deserve such kind children?"
"It was how you raised us," Ice Thing responded. They watched as Father took in the room, running his hands over the dust covered objects like they were ancient artifacts to be studied instead of his own belongings. He looked over at the drums hastily shoved into the corner and tapped a knuckle roughly on one of the cymbals which echoed through the room. "Do you still play?"
"I never learned how to play the drums," Father sighed. "Ice King did that all on his own. I never felt a calling to learn the drums but I guess it suited him. I-I think I remember songs, hours and hours of practice and how to hold a beat but I haven't touched them since I changed back. Not sure I really know how anymore."
"You taught me or rather you talked out loud enough as you learned that I picked up the basics. We could play together sometime, like you and Marceline do. Maybe one day we could play as a family." Ice Thing offered. Father smiled at him, sweet but also sad. 
"I would love to, honestly but I think I need more time before I'm ready to step back into those shoes again. I'm sorry, Gun- Ice Thing, really I am, but right now it's quite difficult to even stand in this room. I need to be Simon again before I can think about being Ice King." Disappointed but not surprised, Ice Thing led Father out of his former room and towards the stairs to the Past Room with the others.
Father was alive but it was different than before. Ice Thing had no hopes that he would ever return to being Ice Thing's beloved if complicated Daddy. It stung, an ache that reached deep into their icy heart. Father would visit and he would laugh with them and maybe, one day, he would even play the drums with them again. But it would never be the same. It was up to all of them to accept this new reality, for all the good and bad that came with it.
"Let's bring some more snacks down, if Finn doesn't have something to distract himself he's going to cause problems trying to get the car working," Ice Thing commented.
"The car?" Father blinked, "just what do I have down there? I can't even remember."
"I guess we'll find out together."
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devourcr · 1 month
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also important to note, i will never ever slander armand's mother on this blog. she canonically lost all her children except for him. she loved him, missed him, and would never have done anything to put him in harm's way. and that will remain my canon for my amc and novel verse.
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