#how much more will there be? I don't now. at least 5 more strips. probably more.

[abigailbozarthart]

Part 1 of a comic that I didn't intend to be more than a few pages and yet

[being-addie]

Morning Routines

We're all looking at those Instagram influencers who somehow manage to wake up at 5 am, do meditation, journal, do a 15-step Korean skincare routine, and go to the gym. And then they make a green smoothie and avocado toast, get dressed in a Chanel outfit and then sit at their fancy desk with a vanilla latte and a croissant.

This is not realistic. You probably already know that, but it likely won't stop you from trying to change your routine bit by bit to look a little like theirs. That didn't stop me, at least.

But now I've come to realise that no matter how much I try, I'll never be able to have a routine like the ones I see online. Because it doesn't exist. It's all curated for aesthetic appeal and generates a sense of false productivity in the watcher's brain. We feel motivated looking at those videos and never get around to changing our own life because we're too busy living vicariously through our phones.

Here's some things you should add to your morning routine, not to be fancy, but to feel better. This is coming from someone who's tried the unrealistic routines, and I now incorporate all of these into my routine. You can skip or add things according to your schedule.

S-T-R-E-T-C-H: Do your body a favour and loosen up your muscles. Nothing better than having a good stretch that wakes your body up.

Drink water: Before you put anything in your system, drink water. Not coffee, not tea. Plain warm water. And I don't mean lemon water. Some people might not agree, but lemon water strips your teeth of the enamel. It also is acidic, so all that bullshit they talk about it being "alkaline and pH balancing" is nonsense. Warm water is the way to go.

Make your bed: A clean bed should be the first thing you do after you wake up. At the end of the day, you'll thank yourself because it will be clean, and fresh and you can fall into bed immediately.

Hygiene: Wash your face to get rid of crusty eyes and sleep. Do a basic skincare routine (cleanser, moisturizer) so you'll feel fresher. Brush your teeth and hair.

Move your body: It doesn't matter what you do, even if it's for 15 minutes. Go for a walk, do a Zumba workout, or squeeze in a HIIT session. You can find lots of tutorials on YouTube (Caroline Girvan, growingannanas, Chloe Ting). Either way, working out will help you feel more motivated and happier. It's the endorphins.

Clean yourself: Set aside some time for showering, slathering on lotion, and doing your (real) skincare and makeup routine. Pick an outfit that makes you feel good about yourself.

Eat something: ALWAYS make some food. Your body has been famished for hours on end, give it some fuel. Make a healthy breakfast, or prep one the night before. If you don't get very hungry in the mornings, have a banana, and pack a mid-morning snack beforehand so you don't reach for chips.

Do 3 things: Make a to-do list of everything you need to do today. Don't overwhelm yourself. Then, knock off 3 easy tasks from the list that you can do quickly. You'll be filled with a sense of motivation, and it'll be easier for you to complete your list. It can be chores, it could be some assigned reading. Just get it done.

Gratitude or prayer: You don't need to sit for 15 minutes to practice gratitude. You can think of things your thankful for on the way to school or work or practice deep breathing/say a small prayer on the subway or bus. You don't HAVE to do it, but it definitely makes you realise how much you have in life and appreciate it more.

Kindness: Start your day with kindness. Compliment your barista, smile at the old lady on the street, pet the stray cat. There's so much love in the world, and you have so much love inside you, and it's beautiful to be a part of it.

No longer will I be stuck in a rut. I cannot be confined to being a bitter, unhealthy person when I know there's a smiling, healthy, happy version of me in the future. Deep breaths. You'll get there babe.

<3

[hazshit-hotel-hater]

What gets me with Vel is that we see she has a good rapport with her coworkers/friends. She may sometimes roll her eyes at the other two and their antics and of course when her direct business gets interrupted she gets frustrated, but we mostly see her on good grounds with the rest of the Vees. They respect her when it comes to serious business and in that last scene of the season they all look to be very much on the same page and in it together, smiling about their future... yet fanon (if it isn't infantalizing her as you've pointed out) is constantly projecting "angry black woman" stereotypes onto her.

It's gross and in my opinion clearly racially motivated that they see her as nothing more than a "bitchy" woman of color. While the fanon I've seen also has separate gross issues with Vox and Val they are at least allowed some nuance on occasion, but I just don't ever see that with Vel, she's just an angry woman rendered to the background in their eyes stripped completely of her professionalism, intellect, and cunning. She's one of my faves and it sucks so bad to see.

Hi. :) I wrote 5 paragraphs in response to this question and Tumblr so graciously decided to delete fucking all of it. :)

The Hazbin Hotel fandom has a serious racism problem and not enough people are talking about it. Aside from the infantilization of Velvette, other BIPOC characters are put into stupid stereotypes or treated like children because either Vivzie can’t handle writing competently or the fandom doesn’t know how to behave themselves. This is especially apparent for the women, but—and this is probably the only time I will talk about him in this way—Valentino is also suffering from this shitass issue.

Firstly about Velvette, just like how this said, Velvette used to be treated like a child in canon (now fanon) and is being portrayed as only a sassy angry black woman by the fandom. This is disgusting! I don’t think I need to say that! For some reason (misogyny) the Hazbin fandom just has this thing where they take a POC person or a woman—usually both—and decide to treat them like a child. Best examples being Niffty and Velvette being portrayed as Angel & Husk’s and Vox & Valentino’s children. Niffty is 22 and Velvette is in her 30’s. And of course they are both POC. I know there’s going to be someone accusing me of just whining about racism or being like “not everything is about race” but shut the fuck up because I’m busy talking.

I think the best scene to depict Velvette’s character—even though she hardly has any scenes. It shows that she will and can respect her colleagues but for other people, you either need to give her something she wants or her respect needs to be earned. She literally sings a whole song about it.

For other characters like Niffty I have a post for her in the works so I won’t spill it all here, but I can’t in good faith talk about the racism problem without mentioning Valentino. The fact Vivzie has made her worst character into the basic tall hot hispanic/latino man with the hot spanish accent stereotype. Honestly this sort of stereotype doesn’t bother me much, there’s a few villain characters I like with it like Alejandro from TDI, but Vivzie making this a big aggressive and dangerous POC person abusing a sad little white guy just grosses me out. It’s not like the situation would be any better if Angel wasn’t white, but it really does just leave that extra sour taste in my mouth.

Also I don’t need to explain why 90% of the POC cast being fucking grey or purple or blue is bad right.

[lucy-dulap]

Happy 18th birthday

Index _ Next>

It was the middle of summer, the tempersture so much higher than anyone was used to for the end of July. Minhyeok had been awake for sometime now, scolling on his phone as Lucy spooned him. It has always been like that, since the day they got adopted, Lucy would refuse to sleep anywhere but Minhyeok's bed. Even with how warm it was, they were still pressed to his back, with an iron grip on him. The last time he tried to leave before Lucy woke up they had such an overwhelming breakdown that they cryed their way into a fever.

Minhyeok was trapped by Lucy in more ways than one. He watched all his friends go on vacations and at music festivals he always dreamed of attenting, yet he was stuck here, stuck with... them. He checked the calander and realised that it was his burden's birthday.

8 years... for 8 years he had been stuck with them. How much could have he done in those 8 years were it not for them... at this point he was questioning if his love for them was even real or just out of professional obligation.

As Minhyeok was lost in thought as a random tiktok played on his for you page, Lucy nuzzled into his back, signelling they're awake. To try and prevent a sigh, Minhyeok takes a deep breath in and turns to Lucy, petting their hair.

"Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy bir-"

"Stop. I don't want to hear that." Lucy shoved a pillow in Minhyeok's mouth before streching and getting up. It was their 18th birthday, and like any traumatic event, they were just ignoring it.

Minhyeok was disappointed, but not surprised. Lucy was just like that... violent, angry, blunt. Selfish. Prideful. Annoying. He stopped himself before he could continue that trail of thought. Today was the day he will ask Lucy to move out. He had started working part time since he was 14 and with some help from his parents and the inheritance Lucy will finally be able to touch, he bought them a one room apartment. It was close by, so if anything happened he will be close, but at least for the 9 hours of sleep he got, he would be left alone.

He needed to be nice today so Lucy will recieve the gift nicely without another outburst. They were an adult now, they needed to act like one.

"What do you want for breakfast? Should I make you something special? What about... pancakes?" Minhyeok was trying very hard, but Lucy was anything but warry of malcontempt.

"I'm not hungry." That answer. That damn answer. It was always I'm not hungry, or I don't know. If only they knew how many times he was called to their school to be told that Lucy is malnurished and lacks every vitamine under the sun. How many times had he found his cooking hidden under the sofa or behind the oven, how many school lunches they must have thrown away instead of eating them? He was despretly trying to keep this kid alive and every time they just refused all his help.

"Pancakes take a while to make, even if you're not hungry now, I should probably start so they'll be ready when you do get hungry. Also, please change in a different room."

"No. What if someone's watching me strip?"

"I am, and I don't want to. Go strip in another room."

"I don't want to. You've seen me naked since I was 5, what's the difference now?"

Minhyeok knew that there was no getting through to them so he just turned and closed his eyes until he felt Lucy wrapped around him. The following "I love you." that escaped their lips was more desprate to quell out any annoyance in Minhyeok than to sugest their care for him. Until now, this had been a constant of their relationship; Lucy and Minhyeok would disagree on something, Minhyeok will try to take some time off to think things through and Lucy would force themselves in his privacy and apologise for being rude.

He pets Lucy's hair, trying to calm himself down more than anything else. He gets up and takes the set of keys to Lucy's new apartment. He had to do it.

"I know you don't want to acknowledge it, but you're an adult now, Lucy." Minhyeok's voice was shaky, bottled up feelings for 8 years threatening to come out against his will. "So I... I got you something that will help you get started on your journey." He turns to them and presents the set of keys. Lucy's face was pale their whole being frozen, paralysed in overstimulation.

"Do you know what these keys are for, Lucy?" Minhyeok was speaking in a melancholy sweet tone, like a parent to a child they're angry at. Lucy's bottom lip was quivering as the realisation started to set in. No. No, this isn't happening. They look at Minhyeok and they can practicly see his resentment. They've been feeling it for a while now, the quiet anger, the disregard and annoyance. They were a burden and they've always known it.

"Please don't." Lucy whimpered patheticly as they took a step back. Closer to their room, to his room... the room they've just assumed they were welcome in without knocking first. It was a desprate plead, a plead for Minhyeok to not speak out the conclusion everyone has taken at this point.

"They're keys to a new apartment. The keys to your new apartment." Minhyeok places the keys in Lucy's trembling hands. They were white, all the colour dried up from them when he spoke. But he was feeling great. This was his revange for it all. He will finally part from his parasite and be able to live the life he couldn't before.

Lucy drops the keys, just staring at Minhyeok's sweet smile as they whisper through tears. "Why?" It was their only question. It wasn't even directed to Minhyeok, it was just an inquiry Lucy needed answers to. They get back the keys while Minhyeok tried to explain himself and they just rushed to the attic. The only place they knew peace.

The attic was almost always dark and not made for living conditions. During winters it was colder than the outside and during summers it was like an overheated sauna. Today it was the latter.

In one of the tight corners of the attic stood a shrine covered with pretty rocks, shells, feathers and jewlery. Around it where drawings of a fallan angel and his sigil. Lucy knealed before them and started whipping. If they could trust anyone to see them cry, it was their god, it was Lucifer. Stuffing their wrist into their mouth to silence the broken whailes and sobs Lucy was letting out.

Minhyeok could do nothing as he saw them going upstairs. Lucy was the only one that had the key to the attic and they were as protective of it as they were of him. He sighed in relief and started preparing breakfast. He was numb to hearing Lucy cry at the top of the house since that's what they often did. He was more concerned with them fainting due to a heat stroke up there, but he knew better than to intrude into one of their sessions.

But this wasn't like any other session, Lucy was hurt, wounded in a way that words could not convey. In the hot attic, they shivered with sadness. This is it. He said it. They're an adult now, so they're up for grabs. No longer protected from the vultures outside, a lost rotent through the dessert, waiting to be swallowed whole.

They cryed for an hour. At points so loud that they were rolling on the floor to try and screap their skin for stimulation and at point just whispering pittyful remarks about how lost they are. Lucy looked at the icon of Lucifer where he's whispering in a peasant's ear. They just stared at it for a long while as they gasped for air. It was so hot... and their head was throbbing... their eyes slowly closing in exhaustion. They just wanted to rest in front of him. Minhyeok resented them since they could remember... but Lucifer never did that. If they believed in him enough, he will show himself to them, at least in death.

When the crying seized but Lucy didn't show themselves, Minhyeok started to get worried. He can't have a corpse in his attic, that would look really incriminating. Plus, Lucy was a burden, but he didn't want them dead. Just far away on the other side of the planet with no way of contacting him directly. He goes up to the attic and peeks through the door. Lucy was lying on the ground drooling as they stared up at Lucifer.

"You're going to be the death of me." Minhyeok whispers and grabs Lucy in his arms, bringing them down to the kitchen and shoving an ice-cube in their mouth. This snaps Lucy awake and they begin to lewdly suck on the icecube.

The atmosphere was dreadfully quiet and ackward, not what either would have expected an 18th birthday to be like. Minhyeok was having a lot of conflicted feelings. On one hand, he didn't want to traumatise Lucy more, they were already too broken to fix, but, on the other hand, they ruined his 18th birthday as well.

"Eat." Minhyeok places the pancakes on the table with the brine cheese. He stopped questioning their culinary choices a while ago, he was just happy they were putting food in their body.

Lucy knew better than to annoy Minhyeok more and they just forced some food down their throat. Silence once more.

.

.

.

"I'm going to the store to buy some stuff." Minhyeok whispered and got up ubruptly. He knew this was the only way to get some alone time without Lucy begging to come with him. They hated crowds more than they loved him.

"Ok... can you get me chicken nuggets?" Lucy crunched on the remaining ice cube and regretted it instantly.

"No. You're an adult now. Buy your own chicken nuggets. You clearly know how to shop online cause I keep getting updates on your Bad Dragon orders." Minhyeok had to leave, he was feeling himself give into his anger. Lucy was already in a defensive possition, their dirty hair making them look even more like a scared mutt. "And go take a bath, your hair is filthy."

"I'm an adult now, I don't take orders from you"

"...touché. Do you want the dino kind?"

"Yes please!"

With that Minhyeok left, not even hearing Lucy's faint "I love you". When Minhyeok wasn't at home, Lucy masturbated to try and ignore the fear. Lucy always felt watched, judged and repremended. Grabbing the new dildo they ordered on Minhyeok's behalf, Lucy prepared themselves by clicking on a video that seemed weirdly accurate. "Step bro punishes little slut sister for misbeheving" taking back their trauma was what they were doing, clearly.

In the middle of a great masturbation session a strange figure pops their head from the computer.

"Did I say, I've been waiting for this day since you were born, spawn of Solomon."

[telomeke-bbs]

A BAD BUDDY PARALLEL I MISSED – EVERY DING WILL HAVE ITS DONG

I'm currently following @‌impala124 and @‌troubled-mind on their respective journeys liveblogging as they watch BBS, and it's so much fun tracking newbies to Bad Buddy getting to know it for the first time: 🥰

(I'm not going to tag them in this post though, just in case my write-up below turns out to have spoilery reveals that mar their first watch. 😊)

So Bad Buddy (for me, at least) is one of the foundational, sacred texts of the BL experience (commenting on and righting the wrongs of BLs that had gone on before) and I hope it continues to inform every BL fan's journey. 🤩

Anyway, following the liveblogs highlighted a parallel that I'd missed, and it was so lovely to be surprised again when I had thought BBS could hold no more surprises… 😍

When Pat grabs a clean shirt from Pa's laundry delivery and tosses it to Pran at Ep.1 [3‌/4] 2.19, this is a little foreshadowing moment that gets its callback at Ep.4 [4/4] 10.51:

(top) Bad Buddy Ep.1 [3‌/4] 2.19 – Pat tosses a clean shirt to Pran after rescuing him from the Engine gang, saying "Take it"; (bottom) Bad Buddy Ep.4 [4/4] 10.51 – with another "Take it", Pran tosses his personally-scented Friend/Unfriend t-shirt to a shirtless Pat, after rescuing him from Keyless Night 2 out in the corridor

On one level you can read the second shirt toss as Pran diligently keeping score in their neverending rivalry – as in "You tossed me a shirt once, and now I'm returning you the favor so I don't owe you anything" (noting from Ep.2 [4/4] 10.22 that – in the constant back-and-forth ding-dong of their rivalry – any ding not donged back between the two means the competition is still in play, at least until Ep.7's Bet Era™ put a seeming end to their non-stop scorekeeping).

But on another level the exchange of shirts also shows the care and concern each has for the other, even while each act of kindness is cloaked with antagonism on the surface.

In Ep.4 Pran tosses Pat a shirt, ostensibly unwashed to show he doesn't care – but it doesn't hide the fact that he's gifting a grateful Pat with warmth, shelter and comfort (especially since Puppy Pat gets all horny for undiluted eau de Pran – eau de Pran faim? 🤣).

In Ep.1 Pat tosses Pran a shirt ostensibly because he doesn't want Dissaya to see evidence of a fight and blame him for it, while Pran stomps away all grinchy and ungrateful. But we now know that they were probably just following their ages-old playbook of acting out a bitter rivalry when in front of an audience (Pa in this case).

And Pat avoiding blame from Dissaya isn't the same as redeeming himself in her eyes (it wouldn't change a thing about her opinion of him), so his reasoning seems more like an excuse to help Pran out (and maybe save him from a scolding by Bad Buddy's Tiger Mom too). But I guess this should be obvious to all.

The idea of Pran putting on Pat's shirt in Ep.1, and Pat putting on Pran's shirt in Ep.4, also foreshadows Episode 8 when each tries to inhabit the other's perspective to see things from his faen's point-of-view in their newly-confirmed couplehood:

(above, left) Bad Buddy Ep.5 [1‌/4] 1.29; (above, right) Bad Buddy Ep.8 [1‌/4] 1.36 – in Ep.5's opening scene Pat wakes up and mistakes the smell of cooking for a fire, while it is Pran who does that in Ep.8 (although I don't think that's Pat's shirt he's wearing); still, when read together these two scenes signal that Ep.8 will be switching up the boys' perspectives

Also in Ep. 8, Pat ripping off the same Friend/Unfriend t-shirt after their backstage spat hits especially hard when we circle back to Ep.4 and see how he first put it on with such appreciative relish:

(top) Bad Buddy Ep.4 [4/4] 11.02 – Pat's first time getting acquainted with Pran's Friend/Unfriend t-shirt; (bottom) Bad Buddy Ep.8 [4/4] 2.45 – Pat strips off Pran's t‑shirt in a huff, during their backstage blow-out

Remembering also PatPran's Ep.5 confrontation under the white arches at Ep.5 [1‌/4] 7.43 (which foreshadowed Ep.8's backstage argument over the same t-shirt) we can now see that BBS was diligently establishing how important wearing that t-shirt was to Pat, and how wrenching it must have been for him to doff it and lay himself bare in Ep.8. 😥

And then we see Pran pass the t-shirt back to Pat at their reconciliation behind the red curtain, calling back to their two shirt exchanges in Episodes 1 and 4:

(above) Bad Buddy Ep.8 [4/4] 6.29 – an apologetic Pran hands the Friend/Unfriend t‑shirt (together with a conciliatory bottle of water) back to Pat, reaching across the visual barriers of backstage scaffolding that seems to want to cage and separate them just like the constraining circumstances of their lives

In all of this, the ding-dong of shirts between the two boys is a metaphor for the constant back-and-forth competition between them, and also how each gives a bit of himself to the other during their journey to couplehood in Bad Buddy.

Ep.1's shirt toss is also an example of how so many little throwaway lines or narrative details in the early episodes will get their own parallels or callbacks later on.

A couple of examples:

Pa turning up in the family car with Pat's clean laundry plays into her early depiction as nothing more than a loser side character, existing only to further Pat's narrative with no agency of her own – until Director Aof and his writers switch out her portrayal later on, launching her on her own story arc and acing the Bechdel test in the process.

(above) Two views of Pa in a car (calling out to her Dr. Seuss t-shirt in the first? 🤣) – Ep.1 [3/4] 1.50 on the left during her Loser Era™, and Ep.7 [1/4] 2.43 on the right after her glow-up and promotion from stereotypical plot device to a fleshed-out character with (at least some) growth and development

The laundry itself is a launchpad for Pat's request at Ep.3 [3‌/4] 5.15 – "Do the laundry for me", which is a sign of his cluelessness at reading his innermost desires. There in Ep.3's music store he thinks he's liking the smell of clean laundry, when it's actually Pran's own personal scent that's giving him butterflies:

(above) Bad Buddy Ep.3 [3‌/4] 5.07 – Pat inhaling all he can of Pran in the music store

And of course Pat's request for Pran to do his laundry is a set-up that allows Pran the opportunity for some zingy comebacks later, at Ep.3 [3‌/4] 5.46 when he sarcastically says he's doing the laundry while sketching ideas for the bus-stop redesign, as well as Ep.9 [2/4] 4.16 when he says he's doing the laundry in response to Pat's question "Washing the dishes?" (itself an innuendo-laden remark – see the note on laang jaan buried within this write-up):

(above left) Bad Buddy Ep.3 [3‌/4] 5.46 – Pran tells Pat he's doing laundry while sketching designs for the bus-stop, in response to Pat's question "What are you doing?"; (above right) Bad Buddy Ep.9 [2/4] 4.16 – Pran tells Pat he's doing laundry, in response to Pat's question "Washing the dishes?"

The exchange of shirts is just a nice little detail, not hugely significant, and yet it ties into the bigger picture with an astonishing consistency. Every time you hear a bell ring in BBS, you betcha there'll be a corresponding echo sometime later.

As it is with Pat and Pran, in Bad Buddy every ding will have its dong! 🤣

‌

[monsterswithimagines]

Sailor Song (Nathan's pov) - part 7

Nathan Young x Female!Reader

Summary: After Nathan is buried alive, things aren't all rainbows and unicorns for him. One night, after a particularly bad nightmare in which he's back in his coffin all over again, he calls his ex–you. A/n: I swear to fuck, I really wanted the show to focus on the friendship between the gang, more than just 'I just want to be your friend' 'alright' and 'so we're not gonna shag then?'. I mean, Nathan, Alisha and Curtis don't really seem to be huge friends (though I wanna focus on that more, too, at some point) but damnit LET NATHAN HAVE FRIENDS. Anyway. If anyone's wondering why I'm putting so much focus on the Asbo 5 in a romance story, that's why. Kinda hilarious that this fic was originally gonna be 10 parts per pov. I don't think that's gonna work.

Masterlist

~

Nathan did not remember how he had ended up at your flat. Or anything after the others had left the pub–except maybe you standing at the mouth of an alley with your arms crossed.

He groaned, rubbing his head as he sat up. His head was pounding. Where had he even gotten the money for more drinks? Probably someone had bought them for him. He hoped he hadn’t done anything too stupid to get them. He was known for that.

You must have anticipated Nathan’s hangover. There was a strip of Anadin Extra on the coffee table, as well as a half-full glass of water. His jacket was folded next to it.

Nathan swallowed two of the pills at the same time, drank the water, then went to the kitchen to fill up the glass again. The clock on the microwave told him it was ten am. That bothered him, for some reason, but he couldn’t think why just now.

Then… shit, community service!

Nathan rushed into the living room and dug through the pockets of his jacket for his phone. For a moment he was worried he’d lost it, but then he found it in an inside pocket where he would never otherwise put it. It was at ten percent.

He had several missed calls from both Kelly and Barry, as well as a bunch of texts, all of which came down to: where are you?

He called Barry, because he seemed the least likely to yell at him.

“Nathan?” the little creep answered.

“Hi, yes, it’s me.”

“Where are you?”

Nathan glanced around the living room.

“...Somewhere.”

“We’ve been worried.”

“Why? I’m immortal,” Nathan said grandly.

“You could still be slowly bleeding out in a ditch.”

“Yes, well, I’m not. I’m on my way now. You can all stop getting your panties in a twist. Twat.”

Nathan hung up.

He patted the pockets of his jeans. He still had his wallet, and his cigarettes, thank God. No clue where his keys were, but those were just to the community centre, and he didn’t really give a shit if that place got broken into.

Someone cleared their throat.

Nathan whirled around.

You were standing in the doorway to what he guessed was your bedroom. Your hair was a mess and you wore a white bathrobe. You had your arms crossed as you leaned in the doorway.

“Going somewhere?” you asked.

“Got my community service,” Nathan said weakly.

He would have been out of here just as fast if he didn’t have an excuse, but he felt it was probably better not to say that.

“Right,” you said.

“Thank you, for, uh…” Nathan gestured towards the couch.

You shrugged.

You were giving him a very, very strange look.

“What? Have I got something on my face?” Nathan asked, feeling his face as he spoke.

“No. Just… you said some stuff last night… You don’t remember?”

“Not really.” Not at all. Not even a little.

“Oh.”

Nathan did not like that look on your face.

He booked it.

-

“So then ya just left?” Kelly asked as they walked around the estate, haphazardly picking up litter.

“Pretty much,” Nathan said, making a face. “It was really very awkward.”

“Aren’cha at least a little bit curious what all you said?”

 “No.”

Kelly rolled her eyes.

“With how you been thinkin’, you probably declared your undying love, or somefin.”

“I don’t love her,” Nathan insisted.

Barry had been keeping suspiciously quiet the whole time, but now he made a sort of laughing noise–a small huff of air out of his nose while he smiled.

Who knew where Curtis and Alisha were.

“You got something to say, creep?” Nathan snapped. He realised right away that he sounded a bit meaner than he had been to Barry in a while, and poked him in the shoulder to make up for it. “Stop gangin’ up on me.”

“It’s just funny,” Barry said after a moment. “The thought of you in love.”

“That’s because it doesn’t happen,” Nathan insisted.

Now it was Kelly’s turn to snort. “Yeah, right.”

“Love’s far too complicated, man,” Nathan said, stabbing roughly at some used tissues. “I prefer the leavin’ part of love ‘em and leave ‘em.”

“If you say so.”

“Well, I do.”

Nathan…

Nathan stopped when he heard the voice. They were in a neighbourhood, surrounded by ugly concrete buildings. So basically, they could have been anywhere in Wertham. That being said, being surrounded by buildings meant the voice echoed.

It sounded somehow less human than it had at the park.

“Mate,” Kelly said (or maybe she said ‘Nate’, who knew with her accent?), turning back to look at Nathan. “What?”

“Do you guys hear that?”

Naaaathaaaan…

“I don’t hear anything,” Barry said, after listening for a moment.

“I swear, there’s somebody calling my name,” Nathan said, looking around.

“Is this like that bollocks with that baby?” Kelly asked. “Because if you steal another one, I’m not savin’ ya.”

“Shush.”

But the voice was gone. All Nathan heard now was the mild breeze echoing between houses.

I must be going insane.

“Yeah, you must be,” Kelly agreed.

“Maybe someone with powers is messing with you,” Barry offered, frowning. “Making you hear something that isn’t there.”

“That does seem like the preferable option, doesn’t it?” Nathan asked, catching up with his friends. “Instead of just ‘Nathan is hearing shit that isn’t there’?”

“Maybe you were hearing a ghost.”

“Nah, man,” Nathan said. “Ghosts don’t sound all creepy an’ shit. They just sort of show up.” He paused. “Besides, I haven’t seen any dead people since my brother and that chick he was shaggin’. I bet it was because of them drugs. Usually I’m immortal, but when I took E, I saw ghosts.”

“Maybe,” Barry said thoughtfully.

“We’re just gonna brush off you hearin’ voices, then?” Kelly asked, hip-checking Nathan as they began walking again.

“Yes, I think that’s the best course of action,” Nathan said. “Or we can find a nice, cosy little asylum for me. I prefer something near a beach.”

“Don’t be a wanker,” Kelly told him, slapping the back of his head.

“Hey!”

Barry laughed.

[woodsfae]

Babylon 5 S03E20 And the Rock Cried Out, No Hiding Place previous episode - table of contents

It's kinda wild how much b5 is exactly to my tastes. Take this (and many other!) episode titles for example. Pretentious? Maybe. Poetic? Certainly. Full of allusion? Definitely. Makes me get shivers? Absolutely.  They even give me things to complain about. I'm well settled into complaining loudly about Londo bullshit.

Last episode's beverage (for data point purposes) was straight tequila with pepsi chaser. The hangover was vile and I woke up in the middle of the night and couldn't sleep for three hours. Today's beverage - Bitterroot Brewing Co "Dirt Church" ipa. It's alright for an IPA.

"Z MINUS 14 DAYS"

I see we've moved several letters on from "t."

Yeah!! It's another Susan Ivanova personal log episode. The telepaths they've recruited are being dispersed. Sheridan is tired, and Franklin is still pacing the halls. 

All the telepaths are being accompanied by a single Narn bodyguard. Fingers crossed for some of those bodyguards to start developing some telepathy of their own after spending a long time in close quarters with a telepath!!

Londo thinks it's time to "take care of" G'Kar?? FUCK OFF.  He wants G'Kar tricked back to Narn and executed. Thanks to the previous flashbacks, I am well aware that this plot won't play out with G'Kar's actual death. But I still want to strangle Londo. Can I isekai into B5 just long enough to goddamn murder that man?? 

Religious Theo of the religious group whatevever is being highlighted this episode. In theory I appreciate how diverse B5 is, religiously speaking. In practice....ehhh. At least when it comes to people quoting the KJV and referring to "the lord" every other sentence. 

Sheridan does look rough. And there's Delenn!!! Pretty in pink. 

"[Ivanova] said you were carrying on cranky. I looked up cranky, it said grouchy. I looked up grouchy, it said crochetly. No wonder you have such an eccentric culture. None of your words have their own meaning!" 

LOL!! Delenn is so cute. Also, very seriously, I apologize to every person who needs to learn English as an adult. It's a mess. 

Once I saw a gif of Delenn propping herself up on a elbow in bed with Sheridan and I have been FERAL to see that scene ever since. Maybe today will be the episode? Delenn climbs in bed with Sheridan to make him sleep??

Na'Toth might be alive. Or her name might simply be a trap for G'Kar. I don't think Londo's plan is going to work out. If he didn't go back to Narn for literally every other Narnuan, I'm not sure he'd go back for his aide who is probably dead. Also I 100% have more faith in Vir than this. Idk where he got them, but he has a surprisingly well-developed set of morals and empathy. 

Vir: "I won't. I won't go. I won't do it."

VIR BABY. Just say you'll do it, then go and collude and G'Kar. Londo is unhinged, threatening to have Vir's family stripped naked and whipped through the streets of Centaur's capital. What a fuck. He ought to be directing his energies towards getting back Lord Whatshisface who killed Adira on behalf of the Shadows. Refa. The show reminds me in a timely manner. 

Speaking of Refa, he's giving very desperate vibes. Trying too hard to suck up, and that puts blood in the water for the sharks to scent!!

Well. Hopefully even if Vir gives into Londo's threat and tries to trick G'Kar, his obvious nerves give away that something's wrong. 

Back to Londo and the Centauri court shenanigans. Londo is, undeniably, good at putting on the type of political front that works well on Centaur. 

Susan's blowout is so good every day I have to assume it's part of the high-tech auto-dryer when you step out of the shower...or something. Because there's no way that SUSAN IVANOVA is spending twenty minutes every day achieving the most ideal blowout that has ever been hair-dried into existence. 

OK I like the religious cabal a bit better now that I know they're smuggling up-to-date information about Earth politics into Bably 5. 

GODDANG IT. G'Kar is trying to sneak back onto Narn. Well. At least I know he lives to die another day. 

Vir, I am disappointed in. 

Centaur attack on Vir!! He lives to become Emperor another day as well. Stakes drop considerably when you know certain characters' ultimate fates. 

You know who I'd love to see again? AUNT PROPHETESS! Majel!! 

Lord Refa's eyebrows deserve their own acting credit. 

oooh, Centauri telepathy attack!! 

Poor Vir. If only he had been able to keep his position on Minbar. He looked less stressed-out when he was spending most of his time surrounded by a tranquil environment. 

The Baptist pastor is hanging out with Sheridan, who is struggling to relax enough to fall asleep while also doing paperwork. Maybe. don't do paperwork while getting ready for bed. Which the pastor is also bringing up, more delicately than I would. 

the Pastor: DELEGATE IDIOT.

OK he can stay. He is speaking common sense. 

"When youre worry tank gets full people stop coming to you, because they don't want to add to it." 

Smart. "figure out how to relax or your people will stop reading you in in an attempt to protect you." 

"Z MINUS 13 DAYS"

Zha'ha'dum minus 13 days?? 

G'Kar made it to Narn. There's climate change from the orbital bombardment. Constant wind, particulate coming down from the upper atmosphere, poor air quality. And I doubt they had recovered from the previous Centauri occupation, and possibly not even the Shadows' occupation before that! 

Emperor Cartagia is going to be traveling to B5: that seems like a significant security risk! Maybe he'll get nerfed and we'll see the glorious ascension on Emperor Londo. 

Refa's plot is to capture G'Kar instead of letting Londo do it. Fingers crossed for neither of them getting that glory. 

Delenn says there's no pattern to the Shadows' attacks. The lack of pattern is probably the point - all over the place and unpredictable so the united forces are spread as thin and widely as possible. And the tactical data sorta supports that! They haven't attacked anything in the center of the sector, so refugees are going there. And Sheridan is picking this up now, too. They could nail all the refugees at once. 

"I think this is as much about terror as it is about territory." 

Yeah. 

Hm, Delenn is horrified by Sheridan saying he needs to think like them to beat them. Unless she has a really compelling argument against it, I'm going to have to disagree. How can you counter a tactic unless you understand it? 

Londo just knocked out a Centauri guard with a punch to rescue Vir. He gets no points from me, because he put Vir in that position. 

Unfortunately G'Kar won't get to kill Londo for quite a few years, but maybe he and the resistance will get to kill Refa and his goon squad instead. 

Damn it, Londo was two steps ahead of Refa this whole time. f.ucking annoying. Well. all Centauri warmongering genocidal politics are annoying. Refa being personally in charge of the bombardment of Narn is backfiring on his right now. 

Oh so this means that Vir was an unwitting stooge in the plot all along, and that's extra scummy, considering it resulted in Vir being mindraped and made to believe he'd just given up his mentor and employer. Very very cutthroat politics. No wonder Londo didn't name the embarassment he was planning to remove on behalf of the emperor to prove House Mollari's value. 

Baptist Pastor brought a gospel singer along with him, lol. That's very on brand. And super fucking amusing juxtaposition between her music and Refa being pursued and killed. "There's no hiding place down here." Refa being beaten to death. 

Buuuut as much as I dislike Londo, I am a fan of the person responsible for untold suffering and death getting a tiny fraction of that delivered back to them. So...annoyingly... *sigh* go Londo...

It's so fucking funny that Londo had the ability to slip refa the other half of the two-part poison all along but instead he had him beaten to death for political purposes. 

Vir is angry, but probably not enough to make him break from Londo entirely. 

Delenn has a surprise for Sheridan - "the White Star was never intended to be one of a kind, only the first..." and now there's a whole fleet. 

Hm. As far as first kisses on screen go, that one was pretty dated. I'm happy for them, but the "smear your face against the other person's face" is a style I'm glad has mostly gone away. It doesn't look very pleasant, hahah. 

Mrs Sheridan, I presume?

[munariplans]

Hi! Hello! First off, I'm really, really sorry cause this is gonna be BIG.

Second: I'm team Natasha all the way and let me tell you why.

Remember AOU when she told Bruce she was a monster bc she couldn't have children? So, for me, it feels like she sees this as a defining character of hers, something that constitutes who she is as a person, so imagine if someone offers up a way to "fix you" as person, just to then have that stripped away from you, shit like that has the capacity to alter your whole perception of self.

Ok, now that we established that, imagine having your (newfound and fragile) sense of self being stripped from you, coupled up with the unhealthy way the Red-Room "taught" the widows to deal with emotions, COUPLED UP with hormonal changes. It's the recipe of a human timebomb.

I'm not saying Nat was in the right. She wasn't, she used us as an emotional punching bag and she has A LOT to make up for, BUT, I do believe the reader wasn't at all innocent either.

First, reader REALLY downplayed the possible outcome of a crazy-hormonal Natasha, a lot. It feels like we were like "meh, we'll deal with it when it comes" instead of "my wife is probably going to go through hell so I'll have to be prepared to be an emotional rock for her and keep my cool at her outbursts at the same time" when Bruce told us about the hormonal changes. So, once again, taking into account Natasha's more-than-traumatic upbringing, this feels like a major downplay on our part.

Second, I had a feeling that we gaslighted Nat a bit there, with her being jealous and worried about our relationship with Wanda, and us being all like "she's just a friend, what are you talking about?" when in fact we already realized we had feelings for her. We may not have physically cheated, but emotional cheating is a thing, and the moment we realized we were developing feelings for Wanda, we should have stepped back. The Avengers are a family, and with us being married to Nat for a good 5 years (also, dick move not remembering the anniversary) we're bound to have become good friends with at least a couple other team members, so why not go to them after we realized our feelings for Wanda?

Third, I didn't see Wanda as someone Reader cared about specially, you know? It felt more like "I'm in this really rough moment, this is the one person here for me, they're my rock now". It feels WAY MORE like reader is emotionally drained and Wanda kinda charges them than them having actual feelings for her. I mean, we didn't get the whole story of how R and Nat got together, but they've been together for 5 years, that has to count for something, we wouldn't be together if we didn't love each other.

So, to summ it up. I think Natasha fucked up, yes, but I think we're as to blame as her. I also think we love her way more than we do Wanda, I think once our relationship gets back on track we'll realized Wanda was just our "consolation prize" for not having our wife there.

And lastly, I think Reader would become such an antagonist in this story if they left a pregnant and very-much-still-in-love Natasha (and the baby; pls, don't make us be the parent who abandons their wife and their kid, I've already had one of those in my life, didn't want to become one, not even for a fic, lol) for a got-to-know-her-for-a-couple-months Wanda.

So... Yeah, I think you could say, by the lengh of this ask, that I absolutely LOVED your story. It was so freaking amazing. I truly adored it. My heart ached for Nat every time. The pain was exquisite.

thank you :) and a very good read for everyone else here as well

[audoodle]

persona 5 party and how gay I think they are (also I get very distracted writing post canon ideas and write a lot about haru)

(also disclaimer I'm going to be describing anime girls as butch and femme I know that NONE of these characters are anywhere close to butch because the men who made this game don't know what that is. I'm talking pure head canons. I promise I'm not trying to convince you haru as she exists is butch)

joker - he's a he/him lesbian and if you don't see it I hope you get better.

ryuji - dude doesn't know what he is. people keep telling him he's bi and has had it explained many times but it doesn't add up in his brain.

morgana - your kitty hatred has blinded you from the fact that there's something gender in this cat. nobody knows not even him. nobody has really bothered to figure out.

ann - I could go one of two ways with ann. on one hand she's got like a real adult job and defined sense of style so I could see that just being how she carries herself for a long time but also she's like 17? I could easily see her having a breakdown and completely restyling herself into something more punk and alt because of how much of her image was built up by people not around her. oh she's a lesbian also but you knew that.

yusuke - the least gay. dude is like harry styles or that soccer mom that looks like a lesbian. he just dresses like that and is like "what??? no I don't like men how silly." maybe he'll like men later once he stops being absolutely weird to people and asking them to strip for him but right now he's the straight one to me. (am I a yusuke hater yes)

makoto - makoto is a lesbian and makoto is more femme than you think actually. like after she gives up on being a cop and decides to do literally anything else she relaxes and connects with a feminity she never got to fully explore. she can't really leave her old style behind fully and is probably ending up a he/she and just presents differently based on the day.

futaba - futaba is our most obvious contender for a trans woman lesbian as well as a character who's already trans before the events of the game but honestly imagining that I think that would mean she has the most awful 4chan brainworms about being trans and combined with her depression it she ends up with a lot of self loathing. it's a bad time and as makoto learns more about how she wants to present she realizes how insane futaba sounds (a fight breaks out when futaba calls makoto a theyfab).

or honestly? I can kind of see trans guy or cis ally lesbian futaba? like I could them being the absolute weird 4chan trans lesbian but I could also see her being the kind of girl who trans girls flock to because she's pretty and is also way too online. and then she's like mid 20s and is dating a trans girl she met off 2chan and being like "I used to say kek but if you call someone a passoid one more time I'm going to fucking destroy you."

haru - I said makoto was more femme than you think and maybe you saw this coming but haru is more butch than you think. similar to ann her entire aesthetic is built by what was expected of her and now that she's free of that she kind of accidentally falls into something more butch. I think an underrated aspect of haru's character is how much she enjoys violence.

like obviously we talk about sadist haru as a haha funny but I find something very compelling about the fact that haru has an intrinsic enjoyment of combat. other female characters like ann and makoto talk about feeling uncomfortable and scared in the metaverse while it seems to be a fantastic stress relief for haru. it's probably the most physical activity she's ever done. her satisfaction doesn't come from taking down a target (because you know. taking down her dad didn't go well and then after that she's in the endgame where it's really really do or die). it comes from the process of being in the metaverse and fighting shadows.

and she learns that working up a sweat, destroying things, and getting her heart racing are all things she learns are good for her mentally. after the events of the game when her outlet for that is gone she tries to find something more sustainable to do with her energy from fencing (a safe form of combat and competition), to weightlifting (so she build up more muscles now that she can't summon a persona), and finding something like axe throwing to do as a way to use an axe of some sort again.

I think her green thumb nature stops her form getting a lumberjack occupation so she doesn't get much excuse to use a full size axe and something more aggressive like boxing or MMA she doesn't actually have it in her to hurt someone else so intentionally like that. so she isn't fully back to where she was mentally when fighting shadows but its a routine that really works for her and allows her to relieve stress and gets her stronger so she can work on her gardening which gets more and more physically demanding as she expands her garden more and more.

I think one time the group meets up for the first time after a few months maybe a year and someone (probably ryuji) is like "damn haru you're like the most built of any of us now! right on man!" and haru is like "huh?" because she still sees herself as the way she had been set up to see herself for her teen years. she spends that night looking at old photos of herself and it finally hits her how much her freedom has changed her for the better. how when she was 17 she couldn't have imagined what she would be like now but now she can't imagine anything else.

I still think she dresses femme pretty often when she's going out to fancy parties for work or meeting up with friends. she hasn't given up anything from exporing this part of herself. she's just become a more well rounded (and far too busy) person.

oh uh where was I?

oh yeah she's bisexual. by the way.

akechi - oh this is a gay boy. he thinks joker is into him but joker thinks akechi is also a lesbian. like when akechi kills joker in the interrogation room he's like "so sad to kill the only gay guy I know my age. if things were different..." and then in third semester joker is like "I heard the recording. I'm a lesbian are you not a lesbian???"

yoshizawa - dog I don't know what her deal is. honestly I think she's straight. she doesn't seem like she thinks about romance enough to have an opinion so she's probably comphet.

sophie - she likes girls but doesn't know why. (I could probably write a lot of thoughts about sophia being an AI and how she sees love but the post fell off the rails once and I haven't played strikers since it came out so)

zenkichi - dude is too sad about being a single dad to realize he's probably bisexual.

[worldiary]

A few of you asked for progress updates on the crochet experiment, so here we are!

Thoughts on crocheting lace for the first time:

Glad I was forced to get a set of crochet needles, if I got to pick just one I think I accidentally would have gone too small.

Daiso has nice, cheap, lace yarn in a nice small bundle. Perfect for "idk if I'll keep up this hobby".

The upside of getting crochet needles the same day I got the yarn is that I was able to capitalize on my energy and my Sunday by getting started. The downside of not waiting for a tatting shuttle is that... I'm not sure I want to switch to a shuttle after I just bought a set of like 5 crochet needles. So maybe I'll wait until I'm bored of the crochet needles, if such a thing occurs?

My eyes and knuckles are confused by this sudden change in muscle usage. I feel like an old woman with my mildly sore knuckles and mildly irritated eyes. I work with computers, so I was excited to try a hobby that doesn't involve staring at a screen. But is it that much better if I'm staring even closer?

Oof, I'm terrible at it so far. Below is a pic from day 1. White is the YouTube video screenshot and navy blue is mine. You see how in the center of the white one there's a ring of little columns and then 2 layers up there's another ring of columns? That's (in theory) what I've achieved in the blue image. But! I'm not restarting anymore: done is better than perfect. And for a first project, it's not bad. It's in a circle shape, mostly.

Torn on my decision to start with a doily rather than straight lace. What I'm doing is less repetitive which means it's not boring (good) but I get less time to perfect each technique (bad). Also if one ring has a mistake in it, the next layer is built on that mistake (mixed). If it was straight lace, if I made a mistake it would look very obviously like a mistake, assuming I fixed it going forward. But I would get to start fresh each time. But! The doily shape is a little more usable (coaster)... Idk what I'd do with a straight strip of lace.

All that to say, once I finish this tragic coaster, maybe I'll try a straight lace strip next? If I don't try this again.

My fake!eureka moment at the end of day one/before starting to crochet in day 2 is: everything is secretly a chain stitch from a different angle. I noticed that every time I have to ladder up to the next layer, I do a bunch of chain stitches to fake whatever the end of the layer will connect to. Which suggests that all the dc-ing I'm doing through the rest of the layer will look exactly like my chain stitch by the end. I assume I'm actually wrong about this in general, but it at least seems true for this doily pattern. Maybe only true for the dc?

Today was day 2 and amusingly I started layer 5 and was like "Ohhh I think I finally understand what I did wrong in some of the previous layers. Great, I think I've got the hang of it, this is going to start looking a lot better" and then proceeded to make the most HORRIFIC layer. So now I've learned that consistent thread tension probably matters? Not that I know how to resolve that yet. Also, counting dc stitches is the worst. Chain stitches are short enough that they can sit in your bioRAM. By the time you finish one dc, you can't remember if it's your first or second one. So that probably didn't help. (Also no, I don't know what dc stands for. I think maybe double crochet? But I know it as the 1-in-pull-4to2-3to1). We'll see how layer 6 goes tomorrow! I'm optimistic it'll be better than layer 5 🤞

[valiantwombatpanda]

Things I've recently noticed in my attempted glow up Era. List is kinda long... sorry!

1. I took a photo of my body a year ago and compared it to a photo taken yesterday.. I was 4 pounds lighter in the first picture but the muscles and how toned my stomach looks now??? Crazzyyy what a little toning can do. I look so much better.

2. I took some spicy pictures, and my arms are twigs.

3. I want to be SKINNYYY but I also want a butt. I hate hate hate exercise so I'm going to have to suck it up cuz at this point, I need muscle there since I clearly don't have the fat.

4. I cleaned out my closet for the first time since High school and I realized being 23 and living in NY, it's time to up my fashion from Baggy jeans and oversized sweaters to maybe something a bit classier. I'm going for elegant but still has fun. Being so close to my goal weight, I'm confident in shopping a size down knowing it will fit me and it's time to wear clothes flattering to my body shape.

5. Motivation and discipline are not the same thing and in my opinion, discipline is more important than Motivation. You can be motivated all you want... but do you have the discipline to achieve it?

6. Water. Water. Water!!!! Fat cells don't go away. So as an example, my starting weight was 108 and I am now 90. All the fat cells I have from being 108 are still there but "deflated." That's why it's so easy to gain weight and so hard to lose. Water weight is temporary and will go away. It's just those cells "swelling" up. One day you'll wake up 2 pounds lighter and it's because those fat cells that were replaced with water finally let it all go.

7. Nobody can tell if you've lost or gained 5 pounds.

8. I struggled with cystic acne my entire teen life and even into my early 20s. I was probably the queen of pimple creams. You want to try a new product? I've already tried it and here's my experience. I went to countless dermatologists and was even given medicated treatments and antibiotics. They made my acne WORSE. I learned, at least for me, that SIMPLE products work best. I use an organic goat milk soap bar, vitamin c moisturizer, and literally a misting of sunscreen on my face and haven't had a zit bigger than a pinprick in over a year and they've all been cycle related. Also, removing the peach fuzz from your face helps with oil and dirt

9. If you're like me and enjoy BOILING showers, please do not wash your hair or face in hot water. Washing your face should be the first and last step when showering. Allow the steam to open your pores and then switch the water to Luke warm to wash, cold to rinse... same with your hair! Cold water onllyyy and do not dry with a towel. A simple cotton shirt is so much better for it.

10. Whitening your teeth doesn't have to cost much at all. Crest 3D Whitening strips do the job very well or you can take a banana peel as it's turning from green to yellow and rub the inside of the peel on your teeth. Worked wonders for me when I couldn't afford Whitening strips.

11. 3 basics I do everyday to be put together. If someone were to knock on my door, I should feel comfortable enough in my appearance to open it. Always have your hair done in some kind of way (pony, half up, claw clipped, even a messy bun), always have on clean clothes (yes pj's are fine but remember if someone knocked, are your pj's matching? Flattering? Or do you look messy and lazy?) Always have your teeth brushed and face put together.

12. Get off your phone. Get offfff yourrrr phone!!! I see so many people in public with their heads down watching their phone, or at a table and they have their phone out, or walking with a group of friends and they all have phones. Phones can enhance an experience (a museum offering a guided tour) and that's fine! But I hate the amount of full grown adults walking down the street glued to a phone. I give teens a break, but adults?? Please step away from the glowing rectangle in your hand for an HOUR while we are at dinner. The biggest glow up is to be present. Put your phone down at the table and notice the people around you, put your phone down while walking down the street and observe the world. To me, the most attractive people I see aren't on their phones.. they are experiencing.

13. Fruits and vegetables not only look like an aesthetic on a plate, but you look like an aesthetic eating them. You get so many nutrients out of them and you get a full stomach much quicker for wayyyyy less calories. Some fruits and veggies even burn calories to digest.

14. There is nothing wrong with noticing flaws on your body and NOT embracing them. I've lived in Hawaii all my life and always wore shorts because my bikini line would break out the DAY I would shave. Well laser hair takes too long, waxing sounds AWFUL, so I got a tattoo in that area. I still get red angry bumps from time to time (olive oil, exfoliating, and a NEW Razor each time has helped) But now my tattoo takes away from those bumps and they aren't noticeable. I feel confident in bikinis because I modified the area that was bothering me.

15. Trends are great, but learn to accept that some trends just aren't meant for you. A glow up is being true to yourself and what you feel confident in. It's about knowing that the magical product that works for them may not work for you, it's knowing your body type, type of skin you have, colors that enhance or take away from you, and fashion comes and goes but style does not.

16. If you have a period, I am begging you to track your moods, your symptoms, your cycle phases. You'll not only feel so in touch with the rapid changes our bodies go through, but you'll be able to predict your body's cycle. I know for a fact next week I need to spend extra care with my skin, I'll be bloated so I should avoid foods that contribute and not worry too much about any "gain", and my hair will get greasy easily so I should switch my hair routine up a little bit. Knowing your cycle phases and the hormones that relate will do wonders in keeping your mental and physical health in check.

17. This kinda goes with 12, but be friendly. Smile at the cashier and ask them how they are, say please and thank you to everyone, hold the door open for the family of 4 with a stroller, listen to your friends and find a way to loop back to the friend whose story got unintentionally interrupted by someone else. Make the people you care about feel like they have your attention. Dont make comments to put people down (i was so bad at this. I would say, "god. She's 40 and dressing like that?" Now i catch myself and i say "i want her confidence. Look how shes rocking the zebra print boots!") don't match a rude person's energy.. all it does is fuel an already "unhealthy" situation. Take the rudeness with grace. Be present, be kind, be open and you'll attract people like a magnet.

18. Old lady perfume only smells like an old lady because you are over spraying. A dab on both wrists, a dab on the naval, a dab on the ankles and MAYBE some behind your ear. It's supposed to smell light and flowery not like you've raided your grandma's closet. Save the big all over body sprays for perfumes from bath and body works.

[athenaholmesartistsguild]

So if you're an AA fan, you've probably seen the news that 4, 5, and 6 are getting ported to E V E R Y T H I N G just like the OG trilogy and seeing people's reactions to the direction the series took (specifically regarding AA5 and 6) has me thinking about my personal conspiracies about why this direction was taken.

Justifiably, AA4's reception has gotten a lot warmer over the years and --I think-- has circled around to being considered a pretty good installment in the series. Which is good. I agree with this opinion.

But back in my day! (the mid 2010s) I felt so stupid for liking AA4! It was considered obvious that this was a Bad Game (TM) and if you liked it you were an uncultured fool. Personally, I think a lot of people were just mad that the game was different? Obviously, there are valid reasons to not like AA4, but I'm more referring to the overall attitude I observed at this point in the fandom which was that the game was different and therefor lesser.

And I think this attitude caused Capcom to backpedal a bit.

Mentions of AA4 were completely stripped from 5 (save for Apollo, Trucy, and Klavier still being there, the Wright Anything Agency keeping its name and appearace, and Phoenix's AA4 self being mentioned). Even Phoenix seemed to be scrubbed of any flaws. He's just a Nice Guy now. He's a Good Boss. He isn't someone capable of having his daughter forge evidence. He isn't someone who cheats at poker anymore.

And regardless of whether or not you think these decisions were good or bad, it completely changed the way the series was developing. We can't explore the Jury system anymore (at least not until the DGS games). Apollo and Trucy's mother isn't mentioned until the very end of 6. Characters that appeared in 4 can only tentatively be mentioned.

I think 6, because it came out almost 10 years after the initial backlash, is able to reference AA4 more and we're starting to see hints that unfinished story lines WILL (maybe) be wrapped up, but the damage has kinda already been done.

I don't think we're gonna hear from Kristoph again. I don't think Phoenix is gonna go back to his flawed, messy, bisexual self. I still have a tiny, flickering hope that Klavier will show up again, but I'm not optimistic.

And I'm not saying that everyone who disliked AA4 is to blame, or even that the people all those years ago who disliked the game for being different caused our current timeline, either.

Companies are looking for ways to maximize their profits and that oftentimes turns into making art that's safe and palatable rather than taking a bunch of risks. AA4 was a risk and in Capcom's eyes, it didn't pay off critically (although if I remember correctly, it sold pretty well). And that harmed the 'Ace Attorney ~brand~'

Art is frequently at the mercy of the companies who publish it and the consumers who buy it (or don't). I think we ended up with an over-correction that, in hindsight, was a poor decision.

But I digress. I partly just wanted to talk about my experiences in the fandom trenches back in the 2010s. That feels like an eternity ago and it's so much fun to see how it's grown and to interact with new fans.

[eleanorfenyxwrites]

2023 AO3 Stats Breakdown

I did this last year and I thought it was interesting for me to see if nothing else, so I'm doing it again this year! I didn't get my main goal done (which was finishing all my outstanding WIPs....or any of my wips....) but let's see what I did do!

Total Wordcount (approximate*): 62,285 words across 7 fics in 1 fandom

Most popular (by hits): Soldier, Poet, King (5,435) [Although if we'd like to go based on fics that were actually finished in 2023, the winner would be Why Not Me?, which I finished posting on January 29th and currently has 3,885 hits)

Most popular (by kudos): Why Not Me? (486)

Least Popular (by hits): The Romance of Anonymity (615)

Least Popular (by kudos): The Romance of Anonymity (100)

Highest Wordcount: Soldier, Poet, King (101,359) (up 22,669 words from last year, which would still put it above anything else in the list)

Lowest Wordcount: Outta Time (4,737)

*This year my approximate wordcount is EXTREMELY off. Partially because I know how much of SPK I wrote this year but not how much of Why Not Me? technically fell in 2023 so that one's more than it should be. Also, though, because I have two fics that I've been working on that I have posted absolutely nothing of, one of which is collaborative. These two projects together are another 200k easily, and while I don't know exactly how much I've contributed numerically to the collaborative fic, I've probably done roughly half, probably a bit less. That's still another ~150k that y'all haven't seen yet, and that's partly why my numbers feel so much lower than what they've been in the past.

Fic Breakdown

I only wrote for the MDZS/CQL fandom this year, and with the exception of Why Not Me? everything that I've written for has been 3zun (and that actually includes my secret projects as well). I haven't had nearly as much time to write this year as I would've liked due to real life shit, so when I do have the opportunity to write I'm much more likely to write about 3zun than anyone else as they remain my favorite ship. If we don't include Soldier, Poet, King and Why Not Me? in this year's lists, as I started them both in 2022, then in 2023 I wrote a total of 5 fics.

These 5 fics account for 35,422 words out of my total (dubious) wordcount as calculated by AO3.

1/5 was a total standalone oneshot: Cut From The Same, which was inspired by art/posts from littlesmartart and guqinandflute here on tumblr, was written for Polyship Week 2023, days 4 & 8 "Soulmates/Free Day" (I wanted to do it for day 4 but ran out of time, so I posted it on day 8 instead).

2/5 are parts of a new series: Outta Time and Roses Are Falling are the first two installments in the Orville Peck Cinematic Universe series, sparked by conversations between myself and littlesmartart about my tentative ongoing Brokeback Mountain AU, Orville Peck's music, and the appeal of cowboy culture in general.

2/5 are additions to ongoing series from 2022: The Romance of Anonymity is an installment in my 90's Strip Mall AU series, Tales From Jianghu Shopping Center, and was written to fulfill Polyship Week 2023 prompts for days 1 and 3, "Roadtrip" and "Bed Sharing", respectively. You're Safe Here is an extra for my 1970's Wangxian AU, The Sculptor, and the series is now called Lavender and Free Love. I wrote it for Polyship Week 2023 day 2, "Missing Scene" (which I didn't realize at the time meant a missing scene from somewhere in canon not from one of my own fics, but oops oh well).

With all that said - what did I actually write?

I almost exclusively posted one-shots this year, with the exception being The Romance of Anonymity, which is two brief chapters written for two separate prompts. Like I said, it's been a busy year in a lot of very good ways, but they weren't very conducive to hammering out chaptered/massive fics very quickly. That being said, Secret Project 1 is currently at 12.5 chapters with 103,939 words written, and by the time I'm done it'll probably wind up somewhere around 15 chapters/~130k at my current trajectory. Secret Project 2, the collaborative one, is currently at (I believe) 14 chapters, with ~111k words written, pre-final editing and logistics. It'll also include at least 4 extras which are currently being written. I also currently have two more active WIPs for the OPCU: a prequel NieLan-centered fic centered on Mingjue acquiring the ranch, and a post-main-timeline SangCheng fic the summer after the original fic(s) (that will also become its own series/universe like the 3zun works).

So big things coming in 2024!! I've been writing a lot behind the scenes, even with things like my first public exhibition back in May, working 40+ hours a week while also visting family back home over the summer, and now (as of September) working through the final year of my undergrad degree while simultaneously continuing to make professional connections so I'll (hopefully) have jobs to fall back on once I graduate in June.

What did I enjoy writing the most this year?

The Orville Peck Cinematic Universe, hands down. I absolutely love this universe and the art that littlesmartart makes as the other half of it, I'm slightly feral for my 3zun modern-day cowboys in love. The same as with Tales From Jianghu Shopping Center last year, I love love love having a fun, relaxing, low-stakes universe to play around in and write fluffy things that make me happy to help me offset some of the stresses of life, and I really love flexing my AU muscles to make sure everyone still (hopefully 😅) feels very natural and right in a setting so far removed from canon.

I didn't accomplish my goal of finishing any of my longstanding WIPs this year, but I'm okay with that! I still don't consider any of them to be abandoned and I do genuinely want to see them all finished one day, but for now I've given myself permission to let them sit there languishing while I make things that give me that good brain juice while my life is going through a lot of transition stages that leave me very little energy to enjoy my hobbies.

Looking ahead, this year I'll be graduating from art college; attempting to find a 'real' job that will satisfy immigration laws so I can continue to stay where I am and begin working on becoming a naturalized citizen; making and selling my ceramics on the side to begin building a solid studio practice in my local community; exhibiting my more artistic work in exhibitions both local and foreign as well as submitting it for awards to begin building up a CV; and trying to start saving money in the hopes that I can buy my house in a few years' time. At the risk of sounding like a broken record, I'm busy as all hell and that's not going to change anytime soon, but hopefully I'll have some good writing time in 2024 and continue to be active in this fandom/community that I love so much!

Y'all are really the best and thanks for another great year 🥰

[aeide-thea]

absolutely the most boring braindump of a Post Abt Chest Management Solutions, lmao, ergo cut for length—

am hanging around in one of the cotton fruit of the loom ~bralettes~ i bought recently (3 for $15! unbelievable bargain probably made possible by a sweatshop somewhere! no ethical consumption &c!), which like—truly is any word better designed 2 induce dysphoria. like i already hated talking abt myself and bras in the same sentence and now: a further feminizing diminutive suffix!! rigged for hir displeasure!—and thinking like.

(1) thrilled to have found an approach 2 the problem [some people call their tits 'the girls.' i call mine 'the problem.'] that's as comfortable as these. like i accidentally slept in one last night because i didn't get the discomfort cue that normally prompts me to strip down for sleep. extremely can't complain in that regard.

(1b) …does that mean i should really try a size down for better more flattening compression tho. very possibly! but i guess really it depends on whether this set shrinks in the wash much, so like. stay tuned.

(2) the fabric of these is still probably too heavy for really hot weather, i'm guessing, and regardless of thickness cotton just inherently absorbs rather than wicking, so. problem not fully solved. but for the current warm-but-not-sweltering temps these are pretty good. definitely an improvement over nylon against clammy skin.

(3) it continues to be deeply baffling to me that so many people, if the market is to be believed, prefer non-racerback straps for everyday wear. like—these bralettes i bought are essentially just incredibly basic cropped camisoles with some elastic at the bottom hem, and while they weren't totally horrendous in that configuration, i unpicked the stitching on the straps and reattached them at the center back to make a rough-and-ready racerback like so: _\/_ and it was just. immediately vastly more comfortable not to have the straps crossing my shoulder blades. like i accept that we're all different and have different prefs but part of me is just like '…are ppl who prefer that style sure that isn't just familiarity/false consciousness speaking tho.'

(4) the one thing abt these bralettes that still isn't really ideal, but which would be a much bigger project to fix, is that like. not all of us need this much fabric along the vertical axis, lol. like obviously they make these as long as they do to accommodate the amount of tissue in larger chests, and like, thumbs up for that, but for those of us who don't present with that degree of convexity, it's just like. this garment could've been a solid inch shorter and still accomplished its goals?? and so you wind up with extra fabric and either have to roll the band up to reel in the slack or else just live with it bunching up in the eaves, and like, neither approach is totally terrible but. could be better!!

and yeah, i could unpick the stitching on the elastic and cut an inch off the bottom and then work out how to reassemble things, but like. the strap relocation was easy and i could do it by hand while watching tv, whereas elastic is intimidating and also that's more sewing than i really want to do by hand. so in theory i'd want to figure out how to do it on the machine which. is also intimidating. so i'm just living with it, at least for now.

finally & probably most importantly (5) spending this much brainspace [i mean like. just look at this stupid fucking hydra of a post.] on Problem Management does make me mad, lol. like. most of the time it just feels easier to accept the situation and strap it down to something ignorable than to seek out a surgical remedy that's separated from me by so many barriers (expense/current lack of insurance, soc anx, perfectionism, serious uncertainty abt whether it would actually on the whole be an improvement vs just Differently Wrong, fear of increased transphobia), but when it's like. well now i'm having to actively engage with the problem and spend time and thought and money and effort on it anyway, just in ways that make me feel powerless and resentful rather than self-actualized and hopeful… blegh.

[blueviewgaragedoor]

Break the Lock: 5 Surprising Garage Door Repair Hacks Pleasant Hill Homeowners Should Not Be Allowed to Miss

Is your garage door giving you grief? Don't let a stubborn, noisy, or malfunctioning door ruin your day. As a Pleasant Hill homeowner, you deserve a garage door that operates easily and in silence. In this revealing guide, we'll share five game-changing garage door repair hacks that will change everything in your home life. Get ready to bid goodbye to frustration and hello to garage door bliss!

The Hidden Dangers Lurking in Your Garage Before we dig into our professional hacks, let's address the elephant in the room: a malfunctioning garage door is nothing but a frustrating and just plain dangerous menace. Do you know how garage door accidents annually send almost 30,000 Americans to the emergency room? That's why proper maintenance and timely repairs are crucial for ensuring the safety of your loved ones.

Pleasant Hill's Garage Door Predicament: Your Burning Questions Answered Below, let's look at some of the most frequently asked questions about garage door repair in Pleasant Hill.

Q: How often should I service my garage door? A: If you want your door to be in the best condition, then it is highly recommended that you get professional service done at least once every year. However, due to the special climatic conditions in Pleasant Hill, you may need to check your doors more frequently.

Q: Can I do garage door repairs on my own? A: While minor tasks, such as lubrication, can be readily performed by any DIY enthusiast, complex repairs that involve springs or other electrical components should always be left to the professionals. Safety first!

Q: How long does a typical garage door repair take? A: Most repairs fall in the bracket of 1-3 hours. However, complex ones might require a full day's work. Now, let's unleash those mind-blowing hacks!

Hack #1: The Whisper-Quiet Transformation Is your garage door waking up the whole neighbourhood? Well, here's a game-changer: swap out those clunky metal rollers for nylon rollers. That one little switch could reduce noise by as much as 75%! But wait, there's more: Nylon rollers require less maintenance and will last longer. It's a win for your ears and your wallet.

Hack #2: The Weather-Stripping Wonder Unpredictable weather in Pleasant Hill? But it doesn't have to be that way for your garage. Upgrade the weather-stripping to create an extremely tight seal against the elements; this might block drafts and pesky critters, slice your energy bills as high as 15%, and be a smart investment!

Hack #3: The Safety Sensor Savior Did you know 85% of garage door-related accidents can be avoided by aligning safety sensors? Take a few minutes to check and adjust your sensors. If your door seems to be reversing for no apparent reason, it's probably the misaligned sensors acting up. A simple adjustment can save lives!

Hack #4: The Lubrication Liberation Squeaks and groans aren't just a nuisance-they're symptoms of undue wear and tear. Free your garage door from its misery with a proper lubrication session. Smather a silicone-based lubricant on all moving parts, from hinges to rollers and springs. This simple hack can add years to your door's life!

Hack #5: The Balance Booster The misaligned door creates tremendous stress on the opener, which results in premature failure. One simple test, which everybody should try, is to unhook the opener and manually raise the door halfway. If that does not stay in place, an adjustment to the springs is needed. While this requires a professional, early detection can save unnecessary repairs later on.

The Garage Door Repair Revolution Hits Pleasant Hill-Hop On! Knowing this, 92% of homeowners in Pleasant Hill who invest regularly in garage door maintenance reported fewer breakdowns and longer-lasting doors. With the hacks listed above and your proactive attitude, you are not merely fixing a door; you're changing the whole functionality and aspect of safety in your home.

Your Next Steps: From Hacks to Action Ready to revolutionize your garage door experience? Go ahead and apply these hacks one after another. Again, DIY enthusiasm is great, but certain repairs are just better left to professionals. If there's anything you are uncomfortable doing, or if at any time you're in doubt about a specific repair, be sure to call in a local Pleasant Hill garage door professional for assistance.

Your investment in safety, efficiency, and curb appeal, well warranted by taking action today, is a valuable one. Just think about the peace of mind you'll have when you pull into your driveway, click the opener button, and watch your garage door glide open with ease, smoothly and silently. That's your dream come true!

No more letting garage door woes hold you back. Pleasant Hill, it is time to unlock the full potential of your home. Try these hacks, schedule that overdue maintenance, and be ready for nirvana as far as garage doors are concerned. Your future self will thank you, and so will your neighbors!

[twobillionseconds]

August 12th 2024

I ended up chatting really late with a buddy of mine. I went to bed late and had a bit too much scotch. I still woke up ok. Got the day started. I just found out that 3 of my buddies and their wives are all expecting. Honestly the first reaction is jealousy. I am happy for them, but why can't I get that news too? I had a fairly productive day at home. I think I use work and other things to distract me from the problems in other areas of my life.

I went to the gym and came back. Did some more work. Cooked dinner for the wife. Took her to work. After I came back and took the dog for a walk. I just needed to get out and do some thinking.

This whole infertility thing is so frustrating. In almost any other area of my life if I really wanted it, I can work really hard and have a decent shot of achieving it. I have a great career, decent friend group, I have a stable relationship. But this. This infertility thing is so frustrating because basically whatever control I thought I had has been stripped away. We did all the tests, and it's not like there is anything glaringly wrong with us physically.

Furthermore I think we are nearing the end. At least with our insurance we have 3 more tries more or less. I mean also we are nearing 40. Man it's crazy to think that. The 5 stages of grief is denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. I don't know if I quite started the stages, but if things don't work out, I don't know how I will handle it. In some ways I am acting out right now.

I don't know anymore. I really don't know. I don't want to be on the wrong side of some statistic. I guess I can cry? Drink more? Drink less? Smoke? Get good at game and fuck bunch of other women? I don't fucking know.

I am trying to remain thankful. Count my blessings. What I am coming to realize is that in moments of emotional pain, no amount of rational thought will alleviate the weight. You can try to numb it away through other things. At this very moment I feel like I am sitting in a room with this personified pain next to me. And as much as I want it to go away, it won't. In the words of Simon and Garfunkel, "hello darkness my old friend".

I don't want to let this poison everything else in my life. But as the people around me get to experience this fundamental part of the human experience, it sure as hell feels like I am going to never experience it at all. And the probabilities are not in my favor. I don't know how I can face my friends as time goes on. I don't know if it's pride, jealousy, or some combination, but it does pain me. It does pain me.