#how many years would it take to pay that off? 6? 7? i don't really want that but like what's my other option. graduating? lol

[bredforloyalty]

i am just asking if there is anyone who can give me a piece of advice i can USE or is it all guilttrips and half-hearted pats on the back

[yangbbokari]

OT8 SKZ making a bet on you - Hyung Line

Pairing: OT8 SKZ x f!Reader

Genre, AU: angst ofc, lovers to exes!AU

Warnings: cursing, mentions of cheating, many mentions of insecurities. I think that abt it

Summary: you happened to learn one day that the never really loved you and only made a bet with the other members to see if you would fall in love with them

A.N: Not proof read at all and I had this idea pop up inside my head instead of actually finishing my ksm fic

Parts: Maknae line Part 2

BANG CHAN: You've always trusted Chan with every fiber in you so it was a little unexpected when you just so happened to overhear his phonecall. It wasn't as if you intended to listen to it. But how could you not when you knew he was talking about you.

You were walking by his home studio when you heard him call your name. Assuming that he was calling for you, you almost went in. But, when he continued to talk you figured he was on call. So you stood by the door waiting for him to say some nice words about you. Blushing and smiling in the process. But what you didn't expect to hear was,

"...yeah, I'm not even going to lie, toying with her was hella fun. I won the bet so pay up." You couldn't believe you ears. But you stood there just to see how things would esculate. All you needed was for him to say he loved you. Except, thats not what happened. He just chuckled. CHUCKLED!? "That's what I'm saying! She thinks I'm her protector or whatever. She gets so annoying sometimes and I can't stand it but-"

That was all you needed to hear before bolting out of the house. 7 years of trust, love and bonding down the drain because of some stupid bet. Or maybe you were the stupid one. Stupid for ever believing in his lies in the first place. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ LEE MINHO You're currently locked up in a janitor's closet crying to yourself and thinking about how dumb you must've been. There was no warning signs. There was no subtle hints. There was nothing but a lethal bomb ticking off. Ticking off till you completely lost it all.

You thought prom was going to be the best night of your life. That was until you witnessed the most horrific sight.

Minho asked you out to prom during your lunch period unexpectedly. He was one of the most popular boys in school and you were well... a loner. He even offered to take you to dinner to convince you to go with him. But you agreed because this was the dream of like every girl in the school.

He picked you up at 6:30 sharp and drove you to the school. You could barely contain your excitement the entire time. The two of you walked in together but he refused to let you hold his hand. Let alone putting your arm around his. You brushed it off as, "he's not comfortable with it yet." But it was soon discovered that he didn't want to be seen with you at all.

You were enjoying your night but then you excused yourself to the bathroom. When you made it back to the dance floor, Minho was nowhere to be seen. So you went to search for him. You wish you hadn't done that. There he was, in the middle of the science lab, making out with the head of the cheer team. You held you breath as you stood still in the hallway. Still in shock to what you were witnessing. Not to mention what you were hearing.

Minho was saying it with his own mouth and it left you in disbelief. "So, I took that loner girl out to prom. Does that finally win me a chance with you? You know how long I've been waiting for you."

"Don't you think you'll break the poor girl's heart?"

"Oh c'mon! You said if I took that trashy loner to prom then you'd be more than willing to be mine. Please? You already kissed me so it has to count."

Loner girl? That's all you were in the eyes of other people. You should've known sooner. No popular jock would actually ask you to prom. No one would even talk to you. What were you thinking? So you made a run for it to a janitor's closet, making sure no one else was around and sat down, crying to your heart's content. Guess prom wasn't the best night of everyone's life. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ SEO CHANGBIN All you wanted was space. Space for a little while. Your heart wasn't ready to feel that and your brain wasn't ready to believe it. You didn't want to believe it. Did he even really love you all these years or were you just a mere joke to him and his friends?

You had just returned from work and saw Changbin sitting on the couch. You gave him the key to your apartment two months after you guys started dating. This marked your fifth month. Changbin was clearly nervous as he turned the rings on his finger and bounced his leg up and down. Slowly, you approached him. "H-hey, Baby. Everything alright?"

His eyes shot up to you and he was sweating from all the nervousness. "Uh, y/n, I didn't hear you coming in! I-I just wanted to talk about something with you. Something very serious." Changbin put on the best stern face he could. With a concerned face, you look at him. “Are you okay? Did something happen?” He looked like he was on the verge of tears. You were concerned but you wanted to hear him out first.

“Whatever I tell you, just remember that I love you very much and what’s coming out of my mouth right now is of the past. So… I actually started dating with you because… because..” He sighed heavily before continued. “…me and the members made a bet to see if I could make you mine and I agreed. B-but I really love y-”

You cut him off not wanting to hear anymore than you already did. “I think I need some space right now.”

“Baby, I- I said I need some space.”

Locking yourself in the bedroom to cry, clenching at the fabric in front of your heart. How could you fall to their game all this time? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ HWANG HYUNJIN Movie night went wrong… you guess you could say.

The boys and you were settling down for a movie when you scrolled across “To All The Boys I Loved Before”, when Jisung began laughing.

“Yah! Do you guys remember when we made a bet to see who y/n would fall in love with first.” The chubby cheeked boy said. The rest of them laughed and went along with it until they noticed the silence between the both of you and Hyunjin.

“Wh-what!?” You stuttered out. Tears were streaming down your face by now. “WHAT!?” Confused was the perfect word to describe you in the situation. They all turned to you as Felix asked, “Did Hyunjin not tell you?”

Your head shook as you looked between Hyunjin and the other members. Back and forth, back and forth. You wanted to immediately tear your ears off. Open your head, take your brain out, and erase the horrible memories you had just gained.

Tears blinded your eyes as you ran out of the room and before you knew it, out the house. As you ran you could hear Hyunjin calling your name. But you were too grief-stricken to stop and look back. Maybe you should’ve never came here. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Hope you guys enjoyed. I had this on my mind for like a week and I had to write it down before I lost inspo😭 Lemme know if y’all want a part 2. Maknae line is coming soon though❤️

[justcallme-ange]

Happy 1 Year Little Comforts!! <3

Give or take a couple days - oops ^^;

One of the longest projects I've done to date!! <3 <3 <3 Thank you all so much for the support, as well as all the comments and tags! I love going through them and reading all the lovely messages. They're a great pick-me-up whenever I'm feeling demotivated. So thank you again <3

So for the anniversary I wanted to do a little thing where I point out some details in the comic I'm very proud of XD (Yes I'm tooting my own horn - shhh)

Three Wishes Dream asks Techno to promise him something 3 times. And only on the third one does Techno agree. I tried to frame it as both Techno being cautious about agreeing to things Dream proposes (a la favor) but also as Techno finally agreeing when everything was laid out and there was nothing Dream had left to hide. (It's like a fairytale trial - 3 challenges with the last having a great reward.) Forget-me-(k)not I don't know how prevalent they are now a days, but growing up I was a really forgetful child, and learned somewhere that by tying a knot on your finger when you need to remember something supposedly helps in you actually remembering. Which idk if true, it didn't really work on me, but the knot itself actually stuck, so in this case I used it for 3 things: A reminder that Dream was stuck in prison and needed help, a reminder that Phil needed to get Techno out of prison (eventually), and a reminder that Techno promised Dream he would free him. Scars So all the scars that I drew Dream with all actually have canonical reasons. So in order - the one across his nose was from Techno during their duel, the ones on his neck and chest were from Tommy taking two canon lives, the one on his lips were from Sam after first being detained, and the last on his chin (and arms) are from Quackity. Continuity The armor that Phil is wearing at the end is a reference to another illustration I did of the Doomsday Trio. It's post prison break so maybe it's a sequel? (This is less a detail and more just a personal thing - but my favorite page has to be page 7 - where Dream's image crumbles. It usually takes me at least 2 tries to get the look I want - this was one and done ^^) More behind the scenes - this comic (final version) started with the hug. I said initially the comic was supposed to be 6 pages at most, but I wanted to make the hug work so bad that I literally rewrote the comic. Only the first two pages are part of the original draft. Everything else was new. My brother literally sat with me for days going over each scene and making edits. OTL There were so many iterations - in the end I think there are at least 7 drafts of this comic. Cut Content Bonus: Unlike my other comic where the vision was there from the beginning, Little Comforts had some growing pains, and a few scenes had to be cut for it to work. So here ya go!

This was cut in favor of the shaking scene, some levity was needed to let the scene breathe, plus quoting my brother "It's more Techno".

Also wanted another hug, but editor and I felt that it took away from the pay off in the end.

Alternate version of 'he's a child' - originally it was supposed to go at the end of the comic, as an epilogue. Timing wise it ended up not working, which ended up with an even better gut punch so I'm not too upset. I may still render this....

[mikachacha]

𝙰𝚕𝚕 𝚃𝚘𝚘 𝚆𝚎𝚕𝚕 (𝙱𝚊𝚍𝚊 𝙻𝚎𝚎 𝚡 𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛) 𝙿𝚝.1

𝚂𝚢𝚗𝚘𝚙𝚜𝚒𝚜: 𝙰𝚏𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚏𝚒𝚗𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚐𝚛𝚊𝚍𝚞𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚒𝚗 𝚌𝚘𝚕𝚕𝚎𝚐𝚎, 𝙱𝚊𝚍𝚊 𝚍𝚎𝚌𝚒𝚍𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚝𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚝𝚘 𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚑𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚝𝚘𝚠𝚗 𝚜𝚘 𝚜𝚑𝚎 𝚌𝚊𝚗 𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚛𝚘𝚍𝚞𝚌𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚝𝚘 𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚏𝚊𝚖𝚒𝚕𝚢 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚌𝚕𝚘𝚜𝚎 𝚏𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚗𝚍𝚜.

𝚆𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜: slight angst and start of toxic relationship 🥹🥹

(A/N: im so nervous and happy to be finally uploading this piece here in tumblr 🥹🥹 ive been thinking about this for so long and finally had the courage to upload it now)

Prologue | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 |

Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8

🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁

It's been a week since you graduated in college and it still felt like a dream to you. You're one step closer to your dreams and how can you ever forget that day? It was the same day that Bada finally asked you out to be her girlfriend after knowing each other for a year. You couldn't believe your luck to have all your hard work finally pay off and to have such a gorgeous girl to be yours. It's like you've won the lottery.

"Baby, I have a surprise for youuu.." Bada said with a grin on her face and you looked at her, curiosity visible on your face which made her grin even more. You're hanging out in her apartment since you have nothing else to do and you're just waiting for a response from all the companies you've applied to, not that you're way too worried about it since you had other plans if no one responds.

"What is it?" you asked and she placed two plane tickets to Korea on the coffee table that made your eyes go wide and for you to hug her tight. Despite being Korean like her, you grew up in the states since your family migrated before you were even born. So going to Korea with Bada will be your first time there and you're thrilled.

"We're gonna go to Korea, go to my hometown and maybe introduce you to my family and close friends." she says and you couldn't stop yourself from kissing her. You're overjoyed. So many emotions are playing in your head. You're happy that you get to go to Korea, happy that she's going to introduce you to family and friends but also worried that they're not gonna accept you since you barely speak and understand Korean and don't know much about the culture.

Days pass and both of you are busy buying gifts for her parents, packing your things and last minute checking. You're ecstatic and Bada is happy seeing you get all excited. She loves how adorable you look and would often tell you so. She'd take you out on little dates, give you lots of love and just doing her best to make you feel loved. You loved it yet there's a small voice at the back of your head that kept saying it's a bit weird but you pushed it away as overthinking considering you came from toxic and abusive relationships.

"Alright, ready for our flight baby?" Bada asked and you nodded eagerly. You just arrived at the airport with her and she was holding your hand the whole time which made you feel giddy and loved. You gave her hand a gentle squeeze as you and her begin your adventure together.

The trip was long yet it was all worth it. When you landed, you were in awe. Everything is so different from the states, it's definitely a shock for you and you're just thankful that Bada is there to help you. She did the talking, navigating and just made your life much easier for you. When you were inside the cab, Bada turned a bit to talk to you since she said it's gonna take a while to reach her parents house which you didn't mind at all.

"Baby.. I know this will sound like shit but can we keep it low-key at my parents' house? Like we're gonna act like best friends while we're there since they're pretty traditional and don't really accept us as a couple yet. But don't worry, I will slowly talk to them about us so they'll be more open minded about us." Bada says and you feel your heart break from her words. You looked at her, trying to reassure yourself that your girlfriend is just playing a joke on you but the look on her face says otherwise. You wanted to cry, you wanted to get out of the cab and go back to the states but you forced yourself to think rationally. You took deep breaths and sighed, nodding your head. What else can you really do in this situation? You're already here, yeah it hurts but you also didn't want to ruin the trip for Bada.

"Alright.. But we'll talk more about this when we go back to the states." you said sternly and she nodded, placing kisses all over your face and saying sorry for putting you through the situation you're about to go through.

You finally arrived at her parents' house and they were waiting for you outside. Her parents welcomed you warmly and they even had a meal set up for you and Bada, saying that both of you must be starving from such a long trip which is quite true. Seeing the feast in front of you, you were amazed. Bada would always order Korean food or take you to a Korean restaurant, having authentic homemade ones really hits differently. Bada talked to her parents mostly while also translating stuff for you and you would also make an effort to talk to them in Korean to which Bada's parents really appreciated. It was fun, you felt happy that you forgot the pain you felt earlier when you were with Bada in that cab.

You both rested for a bit after the meal since Bada told you that she'll drive you around the neighborhood so you can fully enjoy Korea's beauty since the fall season has already begun. You didn't talk to her that much, you're still pretty upset from earlier and what made you more upset is she didn't try to talk to you. You were about to contact your best friend just to vent out when Bada took your phone and tossed it on the bed before kissing your lips. It's like she didn't want you to talk to anyone regarding her odd behaviour.

"What the fuck?" was all you could say after pulling away from her kiss and she looked at you, her eyes getting all sad and you strangely felt guilty even though you didn't do anything wrong.

"You're still upset.. I'm sorry.. I really wanted to introduce you to them as my girlfriend but then they won't welcome you and I don't want that to happen.." she says and hugs you, resting her chin on your shoulder.

"Yeah I'm still upset but what can I do, really? We're already here. Might as well stick to your plan until we get back to the states then we'll sort this out." you told her and she nodded, placing a kiss on your cheek.

She took you out that afternoon, driving around the neighborhood and taking you to the places she used to go to. Bada's really doing her best to make you feel loved, to make you feel special until you forget everything that happened earlier. You loved the affection you're getting from her. It got you thinking that maybe she's really making up for this whole situation and that everything will be okay eventually. You're really hoping for things to go well eventually for you and Bada.

"And this is where I usually grab dinner during my highschool days with my friends. They sell the best fried chicken here and their kimchi is to die for." Bada raves as she pulls you inside a small restaurant. You couldn't help but smile at how cute she is. You gave her hand a small squeeze as you followed her. You were busy looking around and bumped into her when she suddenly stopped. You were about to ask her why she stopped when you saw a guy in front of you and Bada.

"Who's this pretty girl with you, Bada?" the guy asked and you looked at Bada, confused. She smiles at you, before facing the guy again.

"Hey Howl. This is Y/N, my girlfriend." Bada said coolly and the guy just chuckled, shaking his head in amusement like he couldn't believe that you're Bada's girlfriend.

"I'm hurt, Bada. You didn't break up with me properly and now you're back with a girlfriend? Will this make us a trio now? Do we have an alternating schedule?" Howl teased and Bada just shoved Howl out of the way, not saying anything. You're stunned by the interaction and wanted to ask Bada what that was about but from the look on her face, you're sure that you won't be getting any real answers soon. You could feel your heart sink, the person you thought you knew might be hiding a secret from you. Maybe not just a secret, maybe you don't really know who the real Bada is.

[barbieaiden]

1. Kell: Dude. You're no fun to play with, you're too good.

Aiden: Kell, I love you, but I think you just suck at the game.

Kell: Dude! I always won against my siblings!

Aiden: Aww. I always let my brother win too when we were little.

Kell: You're cheating.

Aiden: I would never. I take these things very seriously.

2. Kell: By the way, you know that guy I went on a date with before your coma?

Aiden: Yeah?

Kell: Yeah, we were supposed to go on another date literally the day you got into the coma, so obviously I was like "dude, I can't make it, my friend is having a literal medical emergency", and he was like "okay, I'll just break this off here then, bye".

Aiden: Oh nooo. Did I cockblock you with my coma?

Kell: You literally did!

3. Aiden: I'll make it up to you. I'll wingman you so hard. I'll introduce you to literally everyone I know.

Kell: Isn't that, like, the entirety of River Bay?

Aiden: Almost, yeah. So you're bound to find someone.

Kell: Dude, you did not win again.

Aiden: You practically let me.

Kell: Dude!

Peyton: Is now a bad time to say hi?

4. Aiden: Peyton! NO, of course not. I didn't even know you were here, it's been so long!

5. Peyton: Yeah, I seem to recall being ignored for a month?

Aiden: Sorry about that. I was sleeping.

Peyton: For a month?

Aiden: Doctor's orders.

Peyton: Ah, of course. Totally reasonable.

6. Aiden: But don't worry. I'm back in my element.

Peyton: Do I want to know what that means?

Aiden: It means I'm ready to annoy the fuck out of you and text you every millisecond 24/7.

Peyton: Okay, I can get behind that.

7. Peyton: how are you doing?

Aiden: Great.

Peyton: "Great"? Really?

Aiden: So great. How are you? Are you still working at the mall?

Peyton: I quit impulsively a few weeks ago. I should probably get a new job if I want to be able to pay rent, but, eh. Video games are more fun.

Kell: If you're evicted you can move into Sam and Aiden's closet, I hear it's pretty empty nowadays.

Aiden: Totally.

8. Kell: Peyton, you're good at connect 4, right?

Peyton: I'd say so.

Kell: Help me win. Please.

Aiden: Who's cheating now?

Kell: There's no rule that says you can't have someone help you.

Peyton: Don't put it there. One step right.

Kell: Here?

Peyton: Yeah.

9. Aiden: Peyton, I love you so much.

Kell: Dude. Did you just make me lose?

Peyton: [Shrug]

Kell: Fuck you. Both of you.

[New scene]

10.

Sam: You met Aiden right after the car crash.

Jordan: Yes.

Sam: How bad was it? He never told me.

Jordan: Considering the crash, his injuries were very mild.

Sam: But he could've died.

Jordan: He didn't. And I don't think you need to worry about something that happened six years ago.

Sam: No, I just...

Jordan: Just what?

Sam: I don't know.

11. Sam: I hated Aiden when we first met.

Jordan: According to Kell's accounts you were simultaneously in love with him?

Sam: Attracted to. There's a difference.

Jordan: Not to me.

Sam: And how many successful relationships have you had?

Jordan: Well... I've certainly had relationships, I can tell you that much.

12. Sam: Don't you get tired of talking to new people all the time? How do you even find so many people you're interested in? I did it once and now I'm marrying him so I never have to do it again.

Jordan: It's easy if you're drunk and have very, very low standards. It also helps if you're fresh off a 13 hour shift at a hospital.

Sam: That sounds awful.

Jordan: I don't necessarily recommend it.

13. Sam: But you keep doing it.

Jordan: I suppose I have nothing better to do after those 13 hour shifts.

Sam: I'm so glad I dropped out of med school.

Jordan: You should be.

14. Sam: I'm just going to get some water.

Jordan: Okay.

15. Lucas: No, I had to do it because Michael thought it was "rude".

Michael: It was.

Lucas: If I pay for something, I want what I paid for. That's not rude. If I fuck someone's tattoo up I'd fix it.

Michael: You can't compare a meal to something that's permanently on someone's body.

Lucas: You agree with me.

Peyton: Oh, yeah.

Lucas: Exactly!

16. Peyton: Hey, Sam. How are you doing? Sleeping better?

Sam: A little.

Peyton: So... while you're here... Aiden.

Sam: Yes?

17. Peyton: He's acting... suspiciously normal, isn't he?

Lucas: Right? I literally told Michael the same thing ten minutes ago. This is the way Aiden always acts after medical emergencies, he just pretends everything's fine.

18. Sam: It's been a month. Things have gone back to normal, he's not pretending.

Lucas: No, sorry, no offense, Sam, but I don't think you get it. You weren't there all the other times he had to go to the hospital because of drugs--and that shouldn't be plural, by the way--this happens every time.

19. Lucas: He says he's fine and that he's clean now and then he just waits until people stop asking him about it and we're back at square one.

Sam: This was different though.

Lucas: Just because it was worse and because he maybe went through a tiny little bit of withdrawal while unconscious doesn't mean he's magically better.

Michael: Lucas, please.

20. Michael: You yourself said that there's nothing we can do.

Lucas: Well, we can't exactly force him to do anything but there's a difference between overcaring and pushing him away, and being so passive it turns into enabling.

Michael: I agree, but I don't think that has anything to do with Sam.

Lucas: I didn't say it does.

21. Lucas: I just don't want him dead, that's all.

Peyton: I seriously doubt any of us want him dead.

Lucas: Exactly. So we can't just trust that he's better because he says he is.

Sam: That's not what--[Sigh] I don't think it's fair to talk about this behind his back.

22. Lucas: I'd love to discuss this with him directly but he makes it pretty difficult. There's a reason he didn't want to talk to us for a fucking month.

Sam: Maybe it wasn't deliberate. Maybe he was just recovering from a coma.

Lucas: But he was talking to literally everyone else during that time, wasn't he? It's not a coincidence he ignored me, Michael, and Peyton specifically.

23. Sam: I... I don't know his motivation. And either way I don't want to be involved in this.

Peyton: That's fair. I didn't really mean for this to be a whole discussion.

Lucas: Sorry. Look, my point is just... if he's clean, that's fucking great. But I kind of doubt it. Just... keep an eye on him.

Sam: I always am.

[aces-spade-palace]

A story for those that need it. (TW for depression, suicide, SH, and abuse talk) Life has gotten insanely better since I was younger. When I first found Tumblr, I was a depressed, suicidal pre-teen. Tumblr actually made my life so much worse. I got into the dark side. The self harm side. I would compare myself to others and wish I could do worse. I would starve myself and now I'm paying the price for it. Now I look back and see how bad it was. At the time I had no idea half of what I was doing needed medical attention. Now I look at my scars (since I worked in healthcare for 6 years) and see that I probably should have gotten stitches for many of the things I did. I had attempted. I had wanted to end it all. That continued through high school and into adult hood. I had wanted to end it so many times. I thought I hated my parents when they were trying to do the best for me. I screamed and cried myself to sleep most nights because I just hated being here. I had 7 therapists in 5 years. One trip to the psych ward. I have been in abusive relationships and friendships. Lied to and cheated on. I made terrible decisions that could have killed me and I didn't give a damn. Up until a few years ago, I had thought I would be better off dead. I was also close-minded. I was an asshole and genuinely just a terrible person. Now, I'm 25. I found that I am an agender, queer being who enjoys pole dancing and theatre. I also was diagnosed with clinical depression and anxiety. I am getting married in just a few months. I am working job that I make 50k in without a college degree. I have three cats and we are going to start looking to buy a house after we get married. I am genuinely happy and content with my life. I learned to love myself. Yes, I have my days where I look in the mirror and get dysphoric, I get insecure, but more often that not anymore, I am starting to love myself again. It takes time. A lot of it, but at the end, it is really worth it. YOU do have to put in the work, even if you don't want to, even if you're being forced to, but I promise you that life can be so so worth it. I lived my dream job. I moved out from my parents house and our relationship got better. People have told me they look up to me and that they are proud of me. Yes, boundaries had to be set, my heart had to break on multiple occasions, and I got hurt countless times, but that is a part of healing. The hardest part of it all is doing the things you have to do for yourself. Cutting ties with the people who are genuinely causing you harm, with the things causing you harm, even if you don't realize it. You might feel like you're being selfish, taking care of yourself, but that's because you haven't done that yet. And when I say taking care of yourself, I don't mean go live in the woods in a cabin and hibernate. I mean confronting what is causing you harm. Taking care of your body and mind. Have the difficult conversations, and actually taking steps to improve your wellbeing. No I don't post this to brag, I post it to show that life can change for the better, and it is possible. It just takes work. You got this. My situation is not like everyone else's and I know that. But it is possible to get better, and if no one reads this, that's okay. If only one person reads this and realizes that life can get better, I would be ecstatic. I just want you to know that it is okay to not be okay, and this feeling is temporary. You can do this, and I believe in you. Stay Safe, Stay beautiful, Stay Handsome, Stay Wonderful, and be the best version of you that you can be. You are loved and you are cared for. If you need anything, reach out. I'll be here, and if im not, someone will be here for you.

[rozonrozark]

Will there any episodes like Chat Blanc? I know i asked something similar to this before but she might go full apeshit and it would be totally deserved.

How much Marinette benefits from exercise she does as Cheshire? Assuming she is not going through hell, can she do some extreme stuff?

What is Marinette's grandparents doing in this au? Do they have any idea what she is going through or she hides from them too well? Or maybe even they are not really close?

What are the chances UH coming back again? They know Marinette's age and naturally they are upset about that. Will they try to help her or they will wait until she turns 18?

Does Marinette knows Future Alix keeps visiting her? Even if she does, does she knows she is Alix under the mask? (i probably didnt pay enough attention to her parts)

I'm assuming Marinette's parents at least video call their daughter because it sounds like they are away for months. For fucks sake who the hell leaves 13 year old all alone for months? Yeah they have someone check her once in a blue moon but that still doesnt cover lack of parents.

Will Audrey come and try to take Marinette to NY like in cannon or she will join her daughter's bullying train?

And about the last update- does Marinette knows she is discovered? Will she come out clean or she will try to confuse them with... trix maybe? Also FUCKING FINALLY AN ADULT WITH A SPINE STOOD UP AGAINST THAT BLONDE DUMPSTER FIRE.

Sorry about too many questions :/

Alright, let's answer as many questions as I can.

1: Cheshire Blanc or something similar... There is the Wonderland AU but that is an AU plus it is Marinette being akumatized so I don't know if that answers your question. But Cheshire being akumatized... that is something that would/could be addressed in an AU.

2: Marinette is certainly well-exercised but nothing superhuman. However she does make sure to never show off as to not attract attention.

3: Marinette's grandparents are something that will be addressed but to give an overview. Roland, much like in the show, is no contact while Gina is off-world traveling. Her other relatives are too far away to matter.

4: The UH will be shown. So that will be answered in future chapters. But right now they are more focused on everything that happened.

5: Marinette knows someone has left her presents and Plagg has informed her about 'long ears' but she doesn't know more than that.

6: They have frequent video/ regular calls and they feel bad about not being there for her and leaving her alone. But Marinette always reassures them that she is alright. After all, Mari is happy that her parent's business is doing so well.

7: Audrey will be coming...

8: Marinette had plans, had plans. She will need to make new ones though but the girl won't give up easily.

Don't worry about the questions, I try to answer what I can plus I like interacting with people. Sorry if it takes awhile, I'm busy plus I work on the chapter.

[hit-song-showdown]

Year-End Poll #53: 2002

[Image description: a collage of photos of the 10 musicians and musical groups featured in this poll. In order from left to right, top to bottom: Nickelback, Ashanti, Nelly, Nelly and Kelly Rowland, The Calling, Vanessa Carlton, Linkin Park, Fat Joe, Usher, Puddle of Mudd. End description]

More information about this blog here

We're starting to see post-grunge start to take the place of alternative rock in the pop charts, with the rising popularity of Nickelback, The Calling, Puddle of Mudd, Creed, 3 Doors Down, and other similar acts. Despite the immense popularity (or perhaps because of it), post-grunge continues to be a controversial label among rock listeners for the genre's tendency to favor pop-friendly melodies and "simpler" subject matters.

Speaking of controversial rock subgenres, this year also contains a single from one of the best-selling debut records at the time (going 12 times Platinum), Linkin Park's In the End off the album Hybrid Theory. And with that (or parallel to that) came the rise of nu metal and rap metal in the mainstream. It's notable because, at least not since glam metal in the 80's, there hadn't been a subgenre of metal that really blew up with mainstream non-metal audiences to the point where it came to define that moment in time for many. (I know Metallica was able to spread past the confines of genre listeners, but that didn't really lead to a thrash or heavy metal craze among people who wouldn't have already been predispositioned to listen to it).

Nu metal is also incredibly fascinating to me personally because it really shows how "genre" can differ whether you're approaching it from a music-listening perspective or a marketing one. If I had to boil "nu metal" down to a simple set of characteristics, it would be "a subgenre of metal that favors shorter runtimes, takes heavy influences from hip-hop sound and culture, and is often associated with the early 2000s". But if you asked marketing teams at the time, "nu metal" would probably be defined as, "the popular rock music we can't market to the alternative rock crowd". That could be why, to this day, you often see bands like Linkin Park, Korn, Limp Bizkit, Staind, System of a Down, and even Evanescence lumped together under the descriptor, even though I think they don't all have much in common other than the time period, song length, and popularity. If you're marketing on the radio, it makes more sense to squish them together instead of trying to split hairs over subgenres. Only a few (and by "few" I mean "one") of these artists I've listed will be featured in future polls, but I wanted to ramble about this anyway.

Anyway, despite the immense amount of money brought in by albums like Hybrid Theory, the record industry was still scrambling to find ways to get people to pay for music again. In 2002, Nokia released the first polyphonic ringtone, which allowed the phone to play several notes at once. With cellphones growing in popularity, this may be the solution the record industry was looking for.

[jollyinha]

50 (+3) Facts About My Rook Listener (aka Félix)!

Because I love him in a hiperfocus kind of way 😭💙 If you want to see how he looks like, go to my yuurivoice tag, and you will find all my listeners! Although I probably should make an updated version, he has gotten a 2.0 version ever since... Also, tagging @itsargyle since they suggested taking other YV fans! I'm... Too shy to tag anyone else tho lmao

Anyway, here goes my big infodump on my favorite sunshine boy:

1 - Hey, I'm Félix Torres... Or not, because that's my middle name, and my actual name is Victor. But I'm not that fond of Victor, so I go by Félix!

2 - Victor was my mom's grandpa's name, and Félix is a tribute to my dad, whose name was Feliciano.

3 - Thanks to the acute accent, the correct pronunciation of Félix would be "feh-liks", not "fee-liks". Oh, and the "c" in Victor is mute. It's Vitor. But sometimes even I forget that it isn't supposed to be spelled like the gringos do, haha!

4 - My mom is Brazilian and my dad was Colombian. I was born in Brazil (Aracaju in Sergipe, to be more specific), but have been living in the USA for most of my life now. I used to spend the holidays in Colombia as a kid, but haven't been there ever since dad passed away... I really should pay it a visit again soon, though. It's a real nice country.

5 - I speak native Portuguese, fluent English and intermediary Spanish. I've been studying ASL (as of right now I just know basic stuff like "hi", "how are you?", how to introduce myself... But hey, at least I know the whole alphabet off the top of my head!) and French too, but it has been hard to find some free time... And when I do have it, I always end up drawing, crafting, cooking... Duolingo's owl wants to eat my ass.

6 - Speaking of which, these are my favorite hobbies! Drawing and painting are main passions in life, though. I've been in love with art as far as I can remember. I was in a few-years-long hiatus when it came to painting, only came back to it recently, but have been drawing non-stop ever since I was a little boy!

7 - When it comes to crafting, I enjoy many aspects of it... I've been really into papercraft these days. Origami, paper dolls, collages... But I also really like jewelry making and fabric painting (even if I find it so damn hard, haha!). I just love personalizing things in general. Sometimes, I see a piece of furniture, have an idea and just have to put my personal touch.

8 - I also know how to sew, but I can't say that I'm a big fan. I've tried crochet once, per example, and almost fell asleep on the couch. It's just a bit boring to me... But I'll gladly sew back a button or fix a hole if you ask nicely!

9 - And, last but not least, I love cooking! Not as much as I love to eat, but anyway. I picked up cooking as a way to deal with my pyrophobia and to bond with my uncle (he owns a restaurant!), and really took a liking to it... And modesty aside, I'm damn good at it!

10 - Speaking of which... I'm a bit of a bottomless pit when it comes to food! I'll eat (mostly) anything, am willing to try (mostly) everything and am hungry 24/7. Please, feed me.

11 - My favorite food is kind of specific, but: I love Thanksgiving pies. And breakfast foods. But anything that's chicken or has corn is also very damn good.

12 - I don't really like fruits. Most of them feel either bland (apples taste like NOTHING!) or straight up gross. I hate, HATE peach. Mango, guaba and pineapple too. Disgusting. I'm team vegetables all the way. Lemon and watermelon are the only ones that get a pass.

13 - My favorite ice cream favorite is chocomint!

14 - When it comes to drinks... I like coffee, as long as it has milk and unholy amounts of sugar (hate bitter coffee, as contradictory as it is). And while I'm not too big on alcoholic drinks, I like champagne.

15 - I also like biking, but, much like studying ASL and French, I don't have enough free time nowadays to really get into it again... But I try to bike every weekend I can!

16 - As a kid, I was in singing classes! I really enjoyed it and was pretty decent at it, but nowadays I do it just for fun. Love singing and listening to music around the house while doing other things.

17 - I have eight tattoos on total: Flower sleeves on both arms (featuring a clock among the flowers on the left arm and a bird on the right), music player symbols on the left side of my chest, "keep going" on the right side, an anchor on my upper back, a sun and a crescent moon on my lower back, a sea monster's tentacles going through my right hip and a paper plane on my left ankle!

18 - I also have a bunch of moles. On my face, on my back and on my chest. I used to be embarrassed by them, but nowadays, not nearly as much.

19 - I have been dyeing my hair blonde ever since college. I'm actually a brunette! I like being a blondie, but I'm considering going back to my roots... My hair is screaming for help. [He goes back to being a brunette and lets his hair grow after the events of Escape]

20 - Oh yeah, speaking of college... I have a Law degree. And am working on this field. Ya-hoo... Unfortunately, I needed a more lucrative career to support my family. But my long-term life goal is to be able to quit and live from art! And I like to believe I'm almost there.

21 - I pierced my ears in college too! I usually only wear my lucky sun earrings, but if I'm feeling fancy, I can go with a larger one.

22 - I considered becoming an English major for a while, but didn't happen either.

23 - I have a weird love for plaid jackets (of any color, but especially blue ones) and grungy bracelets. If you wanna give me anything that's wearable, going with either of these is the safest bet! Can't ever have enough of these!

24 - My favorite animals are octopuses (I had an obsession with sea monsters as a kid and this love never really died) and peacocks (they're just awesome)!

25 - My lucky number is sixteen, because my birthday is on February 16th, and because if you put "Félix Victor" together, there's a sixteen in Roman numerals right in the middle: XVI!

26 - Also, I'm 30 as of 2024, and... It's terrifying, to be honest. Buuut I'll find comfort on the fact that I look like I'm 20, hehe.

27 - This one will be hard to explain, but... I really like the sun. From summer to sunflowers to sun imageries... I like the sun. And all because of my dad. It's a long history, but yeah.

28 - I have a younger sister, her name is Alice! She's in college right now, she's History major! And... She's my pride and joy.

29 - And I also have five younger cousins: Ariel, Rafael, Leon, Joyce and Mercedes! I love them all, they're like my siblings. [Joyce is actually my Sunflower listener!]

30 - I... Have a... Weird relationship with my mom. It has been getting worse these last few years... Ah, nevermind, I shouldn't have brought this up.

31 - I had three relationships in my life... Well, three and a half, if you count that high school fling, but I digress: My first boyfriend lasted, like, half a year of my freshman year in college. It was nice, we just realized quickly that neither of us were serious. And my second boyfriend... Ergh. Tristan. We began dating in my junior year, and had a pretty messy break-up right after my graduation...

32 - ...But, nearly a whole decade after that, he sent me a DM on Instagram asking me how I was, and I mistakenly thought he became a decent human being. Hell, he was the one who got me my current job. He works in the Marketing department and was kind enough to tell me that Legal was hiring. I thought that we could at least be friends again, but... He's still a pain in the ass, at the end of the day. And still wants me back. ERGH...

33 - ...But, actually, I should thank him for that. Ironically, by trying to get back with me, he got me my third and current boyfriend... And... I won't talk too much about our relationship, but... This is the happiest I've ever been with someone. I mean it.

34 - Ok, how do I say this? I... Have been told that I... Have a pretty high libido. Or, if you want to be meaner, I'm a horny bastard. I... Will not elaborate if that's true or not. [It Is Literally Canonical]

35 - But even if I WAS a horny bastard, I'm a romantic at heart, believe it or not! I like being swept off my feet! I like flowers! I like cheesy pick-up lines! I like cuddles, god, I really like cuddles... Anyway.

36 - I'm a petite lil' guy. I'm 1m69cm tall... Or 5'8ft.

37 - I have ADHD. I was diagnosed when I was 20. I've been taking meds to help with my lack of focus, and it really has been helping.

38 - I also have insomnia. It isn't as bad as it was a few years ago, but it still sucks.

39 - My favorite song of all time is "Don't Stop (Color on the Walls)" by Foster The People!

40 - My favorite movie of all time... It's a tie between Footloose and Burlesque.

41 - My favorite animated movie of all time is Ponyo!

42 - My MBTI is ENFP, my Enneagram is 2w3, and I'm an Aquarius!

43 - In my opinion, my biggest strengths as a person are that I'm pretty charming, I can get along with nearly any kind of person (given enough time), and that I'm notoriously hard to piss off. As long as you're not messing with my loved ones, it takes A LOT to make me actually angry.

44 - And my weaknesses... Well, I let people get away with stepping all over me pretty frequently... And I'm very restless. And I don't mean only physically, I mean like... Mentally. I feel like I'm a shark: If I stop moving, I'll die, y’know? Oh, I've been told that I can be pretty shameless and a bit nosy... And, welp. I... Can't really deny that.

45 - I hate the cold. I hate winter. I hate snow. Fuck you, northern hemisphere.

46 - I really like sitting on the floor, ever since I was a little boy. It just... Grounds me. No pun intended.

47 - My favorite color is blue, but yellow and orange are also lovely... And I've been getting real fond of red these days. Hehe (Can't believe that it took me this long to say my favorite color, we're on fact 47th...).

48 - I'm a dog person! I never got to have one, though...

49 - I, not-so-secretly, really like cute things. I may or may not have a big octopus plushie on my bed. And may or may not love Pompompurin and Gudetama.

50 - I'm overall pretty confident on my looks... Except for my smile and my laugh. My ex-boyfriend (Tristan) once said that my smile is wide enough to be scary, and my mom said that my laugh is too loud, and I've been restraining myself from truly smiling and laughing out loud in public ever since. But I tend to let go when near people I trust.

51 (bonus!) - I have a very sensitive neck... Now, if I see it as a good thing or a bad thing... Depends on what your intentions are... If you know what I mean.

52 (bonus!)² - I'm also pretty great at typing. My words per minute game is insane, modesty aside.

53 (bonus!)³ - I... Can be a little bit jealous when I'm dating someone. I was never a pain in the ass about it, I mostly just sulk in silence, but... Yeah. It's my toxic trait.

[puellaphantasia]

20 Questions for Writers

Tagged by @atlas-affogato Thank you so much for the tag

1. How many works do you have on ao3?

10 (what really? It feels like there should be more, whoa)

2. What's your total ao3 word count?

310,441

3. What fandoms do you write for?

The JCA brain rot is so real, I've got pretty much everything else on hold, but I have completed and uncompleted fics for Star vs the Forces of Evil and some Owl House that are on indefinite hiatus because I really don't care for the series anymore.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Holding onto Dust - Completed Svtfoe multi chapter

Vicissitude - Indefinite Hiatus, toh fic multi-chapter

Enemy Mine - Uncompleted, indefinite hiatus svtfoe fic, that I might revisit some day multi chapter

Healing to the Hurt - Complete Doctor Who One Shot, I was planning a series of one shots connected to it, but lost inspiration for it

Be All my Sins Remembered - Indefinite Hiatus Toh Multi chapter based on an AU I was role playing

5. Do you respond to comments?

I'm really trying to get into the habit of this, even if it's just to say thank you. I used to only respond if people had question

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

90% of my fics don't have happy endings, even the ones that aren't finished are likely to end in angst. I feel like it would be a disservice to choose one with the angstiest ending.

Though, as a personal pick of the one that made me cry the most while writing, it's The Enemies of Fate. Please, do note that this is a svtfoe one shot featuring my OC that I wrote for myself for my birthday.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Hmmm, I guess it's too early to to say JCA ↺ since I am obviously nowhere near the ending and there will be plenty of pain between then and now, so I guess the most feel good fic is the Doctor Who one, but despite the angst, I think Holding onto Dust ends with a cute hopeful scene that satisfied my readers.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I've been called evil (affectionate), but hmm, I don't think I've gotten legit hate since I started writing again. Had some hate comments on my ff.net days from high school but eh... tbh I got more love for it even then so even though I want to nuke my old ff.net account because I don't like most of my old stuff, I'm not going to

And I'm not sharing my old penname either

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Hm, so I've written love scenes, but calling it smut implies a level of raunchiness that I'm not sure I actually write.

10. Do you write crossovers?

No, I'm kind of becoming more disinterested in crossovers outside of a few jokes with Oddity

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don't think so? Back in my ff.net days, I would get people who asked to translate my fics into their native languages, and I occasionally saw people do it without permission but I was at least credited as the original author.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Haha, yes, I just answered this. I haven't had it happen since moving to A03, to my knowledge but it would be an honor. I've had comics drawn of fics, too.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Oddity and I have collabed in the past, she doesn't write fanfic any more but I consider her my co-pilot, I bounce my best ideas off of her.

14. What's your all time favorite ship?

Can't really say I have an all time favorite

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I mentioned it before, but Enemy Mine. I haven't touched the fandom in over a year, but if I ever get the svtfoe bug again, I would love to finish it

16. What are your writing strengths?

Pain. Scope, definitely, I have big ideas and I definitely have what it takes to make them a reality, no "I'm not good enough to write this" here. I also am really good at connecting my ideas with little bits of lore and setting up plot threads with big pay offs later (↺ fans get hype) and my fics defintely have reread value.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I'm told that I'm really good at writing fight scenes and action sequences, but no matter how many times in how many years people assure me that they are amazing, I do not believe this and cannot be convinced otherwise. Dialogue, too. If I get stuck on a project it's 80-95% because I don't know how to make the characters say what I want them to say

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I don't see a problem with it, as long as there is some effort into getting it right. I'll use online translators and cross check on sources to try to make sure what I'm writing is authentic for small snippets of dialog, but I'm always open to and encourage native speakers to correct me if there's a better way of saying it. However for long conversations, I like to use italics and distinguish that what's being said is not actually in English.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Posted online? Pirates of the Caribbean. Off the record, I turned in what was essentially Digimon fanfic with name swaps for grades when I was a child. I was told I was very creative.

20. Favorite fic you've written?

Completed is definitely Holding onto Dust. I was pretty excited about where Vicissitude was going until I fell out of love with the fandom, but I'm still pretty proud of what I had written. But I cannot emphasize enough how excited I am for JCA ↺

[charmspoint]

🌿for the writers truth or dare!

Thank you for the ask!

Ask game

🌿 ⇢ give some advice on writer's block and low creativity

Cradling your face in my hands

YOUR BODY IS NOT A MACHINE. NEITHER IS YOUR MIND.

Idk about you anon in particular, but I've found that I often have writers blocks the most when I push myself too much. I'm currently in a writing low, which is normal because I'm right off a really really big project and I need to replenish my energy. I also had a really big writing block when I came crashing down from 2021 when I wrote a truly dumb number of fics for me. This one happened because I got caught up in the fandom craze and tried to pump out a lot of high quality fics fast, because that is what fandom demands from writers and artists these days. Fast and quality. This of course wasted a lot of mental and emotional energy which couldn't be compensated by the at the time abysmal comment frequency (Recently I've been getting a lot more comments and I hope everyone else is too. It would feel nice to be out of this dark feedback era).

So to reiterate.

Your body is not a machine.

Think about what is happening around you in life. Are you stressed about school, college, work? Are you having social problems? Are you spending too much time online? Do you feel like you constantly have to be pumping out projects or people will stop paying attention?

From my experience, writing block is very rarely about the inability to write itself. Inability to write is a side effect of something else. A big project, complicated outside factors, external pressure, or just the fact that you got a new game and you are using all your time to play your game and not doing anything else (person who is not obsessed with BG3 atm). Usually when these are dealt with and you renew energy after them, writing will come back on its own.

You need to be kind to yourself.

I find this to be the best advice in many situations.

Pushing yourself to do what you can't do at the moment will only result in further frustration. Yes, it's good to have a writing habit, but I advocate for that to be a low goal one. My goal is 200 words a day. Sometimes I don't manage to do this because life is complicated but 6 days out of 7 I do. This keeps you on track, doesn't let your brain stale, but also isn't just torturing you.

If you are lacking in creativity you need to EXPERIENCE THINGS. Read that book you've been putting off, start a new manga, watch a movie, beyond that, take a daily walk, go to a museum, discuss ideas with your friends. I hate the phrase media consumption but I do like eating imagery and your brain NEEDS to eat. It needs to experience different art forms to be able to produce ideas of its own. Fanfiction is fine too, but unless you know a really amazing writer who brings a lot of new things into their work, I wouldn't recommend it, because in the end fanfiction is just exploration of a familiar thing. Thing you are stuck on. DON'T function only on fanfiction.

Let your material REST. If you are stuck on the fic, shove it in a folder and don't look at it for a week. Try not to think about it too much, do some of the things above and let your work rest. After a week you'll forget the finer details of it and will be able to look at it more objectively, which might help you resolve the thing you were stuck on. Also sometimes when you read your own fic a fresh you get those 'I´m a fucking genius' moments which is always great.

BE KIND TO YOURSELF.

Don't create on anyone's schedule but your own. I know how incredibly hard it is, I've felt it too, with fandom today which is overly picky, overly judgy and not very grateful. With a fandom that seems to more and more treat its creators as content machines instead of people sharing their passion projects. DON'T WRITE FOR THOSE PEOPLE. It's hard but don't write for the comments in your inbox. Don't set a schedule you can't meet. I've been writing a 17 chapter fic for almost 3 years now because I want a weekly release schedule but I don't want a weekly writing schedule. If your fic takes 6 months, a year or 10, let it take that times, don't shove it out before you feel ready.

BE KIND TO YOURSELF!!!!!!!

Realize that sometimes writing just won't go, no matter what you do. Realize that you aren't a failure or a fraud for this, that it means nothing when it comes to your skill and ability, that the greatest writers ever had struggled with the same thing. Some days you don't have time to write, some days you aren't in the mood to even do the bare minimum. These days will exist and be kind to yourself on them. Your writing won't escape anywhere. Come to terms with being human and come back to it tomorrow.

Hope any of that rant helps hzbjhvh!!!

[clonerightsagenda]

medical bitching beneath the cut

Long time followers know for the last 2.5 years I have been chasing jaw joint replacement surgery after my bones started disintegrating which has so far involved a) the surgeon ignoring my calls b) getting denied by insurance c) filing an insurance appeal and getting rejected again d) having to start the entire process over when my workplace switched insurances but at least getting approved this time e) having to do braces for the second time (the first time caused this problem in the first place) which have led to my jaw joints dislocating all over the place (not sure either one is in the socket rn tbh... you get used to a specific pain and then it's hard to tell when something's wrong anymore) and various other minor and major inconveniences including the time I lost 7% of my body weight after getting spacers.

Last week's drama included learning that artificial joints expire and I will have to do this all again in 20 years or so and also that after my braces are done I have to do extensive imaging and then it takes ~4 months to build the artificial joint, which really threw off my mental surgery timeline. The orthodontist had told me May (after many, many attempts on my part in getting any sort of timeline since your employers tend to like to know in advance when you go awol for 6 weeks) so *this* week I went back to him and went 'hey when you said May did you mean May is when you'll be done with me and I do imaging and then the surgery is 4 months later or did you mean May is when the joint will be ready'.

'Probably the first one,' he said 'because I didn't think you were going to have surgery, Adam called and said he didn't think you needed it'

me: ...who? I've never spoken to an Adam about this surgery in my life?

The identity of Adam remains a mystery! I informed my orthodontist that since the surgeon was explaining the build a bear joint process it sounds like surgery is in fact happening so hopefully that is cleared up (or is it???) but like

a) who the fuck is Adam

b) why didn't 'Adam' call me?

c) if I have been coming in for orthodontic treatment since February being very clear that it is because I am preparing for surgery and you think I'm not having surgery shouldn't you like. idk say something. I'm paying you thousands of dollars out of fucking pocket bc my insurance only covered 1.5k

d) if you are convinced I am not having surgery and I ask you hey when am I having surgery why would your answer be 'May' instead of 'never and let's clarify expectations'

e) who the fuck is Adam???

Anyway when am I having my surgery? Idk. Also don't know who (Adam??) how why or even where considering my surgeon works at like 4 locations and last month I was sent on a merry chase bc the ortho office gave me a phone number for a different location than usual (where he did not work, actually, they googled the wrong place. good times). Don't even know what because the ortho keeps talking about making space on my upper jaw for the 'orthodontic portion' of the surgery and as far as I'm aware the main bit goes through my ears. I guess I will just keep living my goddamn life waiting for someone to eventually call and tell me it's time. Or not! Maybe Adam will materialize in my home killing me instantly. I wish every medical practitioner the terror, confusion, and frustration of having years of your life spent in the hands of people who don't give a shit about you and can't be bothered to try. This is not even starting on the front desk staff.

[sssammich]

20 questions game

got tagged by @nostradamus0 so i shall now answer it all instead of doing my homework due in like 3 hours it's fine

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

lol 115

2. What’s your total AO3 words count?

so technically 685,515 (but i've co-written some stuff so if we're talking purely my words then it's probably closer to maybe around 630k or so?? idk man)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

currently? mayakuro, supercorp, and bumbleby, but i won't hesitate to write for a fandom off the cuff lol (if you ever take a gander at my fic list you'll see)

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Closest I Get (victorious, jade/tori)

evergreen (supercorp)

not for nothing (supercorp)

one way or another (supercorp)

catching sunrise (revue starlight, maya/claudine)

lmaoo supercorp numbers feel insane to me (considering how i've been chillin in smaller fandoms. like closest i get was posted 11years and 2days ago and it's now only 26 kudos ahead of evergreen)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

hell yeah! i would say i've answered 90% of my comments there are some random stragglers i know i've missed over the years for sure, but i try to respond when i can!

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

uh omg i mean i don't typically dabble in angsty endings? i'm a happy/hopeful ending kinda gal. i did have santana die in this one fic but it ended hopefully, and then i also had maya and claudine not end up together, but it was also not bad?? idk if i've ever thought of an angsty ending that feels like a good pay off for having been put through the paces ig

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

the vast majority of my fics are happy endings so idk, pick any of them tbh LOL

8. Do you get hate on fics?

not really, no. i've been most fortunate that people have been very nice in the comments.

9. Do you write smut? If so what kind?

listen i am trying to get into my smut era and i keep being delayed so it's only a matter of time but it's probably just regular vanilla smut lbr

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

i have written ONE (1) crossover and it's incomplete. in general, i cannot possibly fathom crossing over fandoms, they feel very contained and separate in my head so not really

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

haha yes! i remember someone messaged me that my jori fic, Closest I get, was stolen and put into wattpad but then used for a 5th harmony rpf story LMAO

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

no but if someone did i would be honored

13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

haha yeah, i'm co-writing now! there's this kara/lena/sam i've dubbed throuple fic with chaotic-super and then my friend maddy and i continue to ruminate on a revue starlight modern AU where the sad girls are sad. and then also like there's a since abandoned alex/tobin rpf back in the woso days LOL

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

girl we're not doing this

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

omg i have this one once upon a time/pitch perfect ruby/aubrey crossover i did try to write back in the day and i reread it in the last six months and it was Not Terrible but idk where that shit would even go now at this rate

also i've retired many WIPs over the years

16. What are your writing strengths?

uh god idk maybe dialogue, pacing, atmospheric setting

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

absolutely writing the middle and thinking of the connective tissues that would tie everything together

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

i do not have thoughts LOL

at this point, i think it depends? like if there's something more to be gained with it being in that other language, then i'll write it in. but if not, i just italicize it and say they said it in that other language and keep it moving LOL

19. First fandom you wrote for?

god uh probably some super early hermione/ginny back in middle school and then All My Children bianca/maggie back in high school (when there were forums to join and pretend you're not a child) but those things are not posted

20. Favourite fic you’ve ever written?

can there ever be just ONE favorite fic at this point in my life? can't say at this point especially with how often i've jumped fandoms and stuff but i guess in recent writing, i'd say:

not for nothing, don't touch me (touch me more), catching sunrise, and tether

honestly they all gave me so much headaches (affectionate??) but i feel like they're some of my best writing atp

no pressure tags! @lovesastateofmind1 @fyonahmacnally @chaotic-super @fazedlight @inkedroplets and anybody else?? who wants to! live ur life ur truth etc etc and answer ask memes

[bahbahhh]

20 Questions For Fic Writers

Tagged by @novantinuum and @marimbles. thanks friends! <3 I loved reading your responses.

__

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

ten!

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

108,441

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Legend of Zelda. I like what I like. I have dabbled with FFX, too.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

the killing moon

begin again

desire path

like someone would

windows

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try to! Honestly, it means so much that people take time out of their day to let me know their thoughts/reactions to my stuff. I love the interaction, and I've shared this story before, but it was @embyrinitalics outreaching to let me know she enjoyed the killing moon (which had been on hiatus for YEARS) that help spring-boarded me into creativity again. A lot of these comments keep me motivated and energized, so I want to let people know I pay attention and care.

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

LOL this is hard. Angst is my jam.

I'm tempted to say the Killing Moon but probably almost beautiful? It's the death memory from botw and it's a oneshot without any resolution whatsoever.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

This is a tie between begin again and desire path.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I've gotten some coldish comments, but not direct hate. I don't understand it. If you don't like something, just move on by? It's free content. It literally takes so much more of your previous energy to generate hate. Put it somewhere else. Find something else you actually like and pour love into that. Or as my kid's favorite book right bow Teeth are not for biting (send help) says "Try this instead: take a break, drink a cold drink, take a rest, get a hug!"

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I have written ONE smut fit. I was possessed by an idea. It is not my wheelhouse for sure. It was porn with plotish and I had more fun with the dialogue between the side characters than the actual sexy stuff. And I'm me, so it was sexy yet depressing LOL

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I wrote a FFX x BotW oneshot a few years ago that I actually took off my ao3.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I am aware of!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not that I am aware of!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, but I feel like this would be fun with the right idea. I really like doing collabs for events.

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

Zelink!

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

I'm a little worried about currents. I love the idea in my head, but its very VERY specific writing and of course I started it right before linktober and now my brain is all about the depths au. It's hard for me to switch gears.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I love a good turn of phrase, man.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I get BIG ideas and a lot of them and a lot of the time, I get lost in them. This happened in The Killing Moon. Of course, it was my first stab at fanfiction and I decided to write a massive multichapter monster, and perhaps, that is evidence enough for you, but I had so many ideas for the story/conflict/direction and I didn't spend enough time organizing it and weeding out what I don't need. I think it translated okay because of the mystery leading up to TotK and the fact I was working with characters that were trying to make sense of lost, incomplete, and inconsistently reported history over 10,000 but

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I think the most important question a writer can ask themselves when doing this in a fic is "why am I doing this?" And then close follow up to that is "how can I do this correctly and respectfully?"

19. First fandom you wrote for?

LoZ

20. Favorite fic you've ever written?

I really, really love like someone would. I love the complex characterization of Link and have carried it forward into other pieces. It's one big love letter to botw side quests and zelink and was also written in tribute to two of my favorite fanfiction pieces by others.

_

tagging: @embyrinitalics @fioreofthemarch @zeldaelmo @flutefemme

[carrickbender]

Sonntag seiben

1. September in the PNW means harvesting and putting in things for the winter that give hope that, at some point, we will see the sun again and taste the sweet goodness of the gifts of nature. This year is special because another generation of our family gets to decide their fate as either pickers or non-pickers. I've always been a picker since I was probably a bit older than Henry; My grandmere and I would dutifully pick the tiny delicious huckleberries right on the border of Idaho and Montana, and one of our favourite patches was yards away from where one of her relatives surveyed in the state lines of Montana(plot twist: it's backwards). My mom, on the other hand, was born a non-picker who often loved finding a nice shady spot with a book. Thankfully, as she and I were both raised as only children, she has become a picker because berries won't pick themselves and blackberries are awful to pick. And Buggy was such a trooper: he started off picking berries but then he just wanted to eat berries even double fisting them. Tradition can be so delicious.

2. I finished my 2 weeks at Medline on Saturday, and they were absolutely good people for whom to work. And on Tuesday, I start with a municipal organization in emergency mitigation services, which should be a good job. Its a serious pay cut from Cosmo, but I cant wait any longer. And with graduation looming for me at CWU and my MBA application submitted, my options are expanding by the day. I refuse to be blind to the silver lining to my loss of my job at Cosmo, and I am open to the lessons that the universe is teaching me.

3. So for a long time I couldn't wrap my head around affirmations, but now that I'm doing them, I feel different. I think maybe, just maybe, the reset has begun and I'm looking at how I reclaim grace. To all who helped: much love.

4. To all of you who do online tutoring, what do you think of it? I have some expertise, and I think I could parlay it into a little more income and use it for the benefit of others. Thoughts?

5. We find out this week what sort of pre-k/transitional kindergarten programme Buggy will be in this fall. And, cool thing: H was also accepted into our local college and is going to be finishing her degree in Chemical dependency counseling. Her sobriety not withstanding, she is so smart and if she wouldn't have had her oldest son so young she could have done anything. She was studying to become a nurse when "life" and a few other things got in the way, and I think how much of a loss it was, truly. So having her go back to school is truly making sure the smartest person in this house gets to use that amazing brain for good of others and not just making good stuff like the boule in the picture.

6. Jimmy Buffet and Bill Richardson, on the same day? I got to meet Bill and hear him speak, and he was truly a champion for the forgotten and unjustly imprisoned. And Jimmy... I heard so many stories of him playing the Elbow room in Dutch Harbour and Tony's in Kodiak that, turns out were all true. While he might have been seen as a brand, some of his lyrics really hit my old broken down ass self pretty hard. And like his lyric said,

"I hope you're enjoying the scenery

I know that it's pretty up there

We can go hiking on Tuesday

With you I'd walk anywhere

California has worn me quite thin

I just can't wait to see you again"

Peace be with them...

7. The agates and the quartz glass are from a local beach, and 3 generations of hands have touched them. 3...Somewhere, my father figure is proud and glad it took(and that his great grandson loves rocks and getting dirty, just like him).

If you are still reading this, don't labour tomorrow. Rest. Relax. It's been a hard 9 months, and judging by our mountain ash bushes here, it's going to be a long miserable winter. Many blessings yall, and be kind to yourselves and take a moment. If my stubborn ass can finally say, and mean it, "I love the person I am becoming", you can too.

Much love!!!!

[my-sun-m00n-and-stars]

20 Questions for Fic Writers!

I was tagged by @sinisterexaggerator

I'm not very active on tumblr and I don't think I have anyone else to tag who hasn't done this already, but I thought this would be fun.

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

I joined AO3 just over a year ago, so right now I only have two works. They're the first two entries in my Cad Bane series. A third one is in development, and I plan to start updating it around the new year.

2. What's your total A03 word count?

188,065

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Currently I write for Star Wars only, but I have plans in the future to write a series for Skyrim/Elder Scrolls.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

As I currently only have two, they are:

Sex, Drugs, and Blasters

Credits, Lies, and Betrayal

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I respond to every comment. Any amount of interaction I get is precious to me, especially since this little niche in the fandom is so small.

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Definitely Credits. *Spoilers* OC has an emotional breakup with Jango Fett, succumbs to Bane's seduction, and then gets shot in the chest by said blue bounty hunter.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Sex, Drugs, and Blasters. OC pays off her debt and makes some new bounty hunting friends.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I did get one particularly persistent hater who used multiple accounts to hate on the way I wrote Jango, eventually saying some homophobic stuff I had to delete from the comment section. It was pretty bizarre, but I did decide to take another look at my writing with Jango and made some small changes. It was a weird experience, but I decided to make the best of it.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Oh yes. I'm a big supporter of slow burn, but when it finally reaches that point, I go all-out. So far I have a couple scenes with Jango and one with Bane (my favorite one).

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I don't write crossovers and I'm generally not a fan. However, a couple years ago I read this really fun one that was a Marvel/Clone Wars crossover.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Nope.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, and I don't think I would be open to it. I wouldn't mind having a beta, though. Sometimes I really need someone else to proof-read.

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

I think I gotta go with Captain Swan from Once Upon a Time. That show was crazy, but Emma and Hook were just so good together. Not to mention Hook was HOT.

15. What's the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I only have one WIP, and that is my Bane slowburn series. However, I do believe I will finish it given enough time. At first I never thought I would start it, and now I have two novels under my belt.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I'm good at planning plots and making things link together. I'm setting up long-term plotpoints in the series whilst juggling smaller plot threads and subplots. I sketch it all out ahead of time so I always know where I'm going.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Sometimes I struggle with coming up with creative description on the spot. I usually have to open thesauruses. My main goal as a writer is to use more figurative language. Then again, I'm only 19 so I still have plenty of room to grow.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I've written several scenes with Mando'a dialogue, and I usually just write it in English and italicize it. If I want to emphasize certain words, I'll say the direct translation, like "cyar'ika".

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Star Wars!

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

Sex, Drugs, and Blasters is my firstborn child, but I think I enjoyed writing Credits, Lies, and Betrayal better.