inthewind-inthewater

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the craziest thing about being transmasc or a trans man is that people LOVE to say you’re gonna look ugly, gonna turn ugly etc. and personally for a while i bought into this nonsense. but one day i decided fuck it, decided to transition and you know what happened? i still retained the most handsome parts of the person i was before. but i looked happier. i looked more beautiful, more handsome, prettier, stylish, hot. because i finally looked like me & so much happier and confident. anyway, this is just to say - go transition dude, if you’re hesitating. you will only look even more handsome & beautiful, fuck their propaganda.

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The difference between Mark and helly being woken up for orientation is so funny to me (ik we only see marks for like 2secs)

Helly is immediately ready to fight everyone (and does)

Mark looked like he was gonna cry

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Think inside the box.

ADAM SCOTT | Severance — Inside the Grand Central Terminal Pop-Up

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made a linocut im very proud of

something about wearing your transsexuality proudly like a stag wears his antlers

also im losing my uterus friday (whoo yayyy) the person who finds it gets to keep it

more crafts coming soon cause the gyn said i need to take time from school to crafts lots after surgery (or smth like that)

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I get so much gender envy from Adam Scott what is wrong with me

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desperately need a “how to hot and transmasc” starter kit, I don’t know how to dress.

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Abbotsford House

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Two folks were talking in the coffee shop today about starting microdosing T and I kept staring

I hope they didn’t think I was being rude, I was staring because I was envious

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I’m really, really trying to give being AFAB a solid try, and yet and yet and yet

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*this* close to accepting I am closeted transmasc (maybe ftm, but also not binary trans, who even knows) and I am so tired of trying to figure out what the fuck to wear

I’m never going to pass as a dude, the best I can hope for is sort of andro-ish?

but do I just accept I will never pass and continue being femme, or do I dress in ways that I feel like make me look unattractive but are more gender-affirming? I hate this so much

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I hate that I might be trans masc because if how awful cis men always are. I don’t want to be like them! I can’t. I can’t.

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One of the reasons I think I might be more transmasc than I thought was how frustrated I keep getting at they/them pronouns lately. I don’t like that it is “non-gendered”, that the word for folks who use it is person, rather than man/woman. I want an identity word, too. Enby is better but still feels clunky in a way.

But I also don’t think the category of man (or woman) fits either. Idk, maybe I’m just a he/they or they/he/she or something.

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Yes, this! My young self was a tomboy, but she was a girl, and girlhood remains something I feel connected to even now for that reason. It feels awkward and even incorrect to call my childhood self by my current pronouns. I also want to see and acknowledge the way girlhood impacted me, and left me with gendered trauma. I also didn’t use to dislike being a girl - I wasn’t feminine as a kid but I was proud to be female?

But at the same time, I knew I wasn’t like other girls. But that might have just been my sexuality and being ND, idk.

I feel a sharp divide between childhood/teenager/young adult, they’re all sort of different people to me. Blanket statements don’t encompass that.

I think for some people, identity just shifts and changes so much over time, and others less so. I wonder how much it is worth trying to retroactively assign gender stuff, because that time has simply passed now. I was who I was.

DAE who transitionned in their twenties or later struggle with the idea that they were a trans kid or don't identify as a trans kid who grew up at all ?

It's something I've been wondering about for a while. I was definitely a queer kid, as I was openly bisexual from quite a young age, but I don't feel like I was a trans kid. I see by inner child as a little girl, being one and being seen as one played a huge part of my experience as a child and teenager, and the way I was socialized was very conservative "future wife" like.

If I felt and was seen like a tomboy from time to time, I always was "corrected" by people to not be this way in very harsh ways.

But I used to like being a girl, and I had absolutely no idea that things could be different in any way. I suffered not being able to play with my boyfriends anymore when we started going through puberty, and boys and girls started not engaging with each other unless for romantic interests (or later, sexual). I dreaded being sexualized while seeing it as "something to be proud of" because my parents taught me that.

But when I try to ask myself, "Maybe it was dysphoria," or any early signs of me being trans, it just doesn't seem to fit.

To me, child me and teenage me were separate people, early adult me who was confused in their gender and started to know things about transness was someone else, and then I came to be as a result of just life.

Idk if it's the same for other people, if you'd like to share your experiences I'd love to hear about it !

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I woke up this morning and was pretty sure I at least need to come out to myself as genderfluid, but tbh it doesn’t feel like it always ends there

I have no idea what I need to look like to feel comfortable, either.

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go get yr $15 shoes and you will also get compliments

Hey. You. Yeah, you, the transmasc with small feet reading this.

A women's size 7-7 1/2 is a boy's size 5.

You're welcome.

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I always thought I’d be someone who would pick the most ostentatious Victorian child fae vampire prince names, but I’m just over here like huh, maybe my name is Neil

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something i feel like queer ppl have been steadily forgetting over the last ten years or so is that “genderqueer” isn’t a specific nonbinary term, or even a synonym for nonbinary - it’s an umbrella term that encompasses nonbinariness and more. 

any flavour of trans (yes including “binary trans”)? you can call yourself genderqueer. fem, butch, androgynous, drag artist, crossdresser, or in any other way gnc? you can also use genderqueer. detrans but not in a radfem death cult kind of way? you too can be genderqueer. “i guess i’m basically cis but my other queer identity impacts my gender in a way that’s hard to put into words-” genderqueer!

it’s entirely acceptable and normal to be genderqueer but not nonbinary or genderqueer but not trans. it means literally nothing but “i’ve got a gender that’s queer” and it fucking rules we should use it so much more