#how many times do I need to tell people. I'm not looking for online friends. I have those already.
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neverendingford · 1 year ago
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#tag talk#vent#I've experienced a milestone for character growth. I can recognize when I'm getting bored of being something for someone else#noticing when someone wants something from me that I don't genuinely enjoy providing#the context here is a guy who just wanted to keep chatting/sexting and I was like bro I'm on proximity based apps for a reason#how many times do I need to tell people. I'm not looking for online friends. I have those already.#I'm looking to touch grass. I'm looking to eat ass. I think I'm funny#but yeah. like.. I'm looking for irl people. I'm looking for physical human connection.#I recognize my physical need for human presence and chatting and flirting in dms just isn't going to cut it#it's fun for like.. two days. but then I'm bored. I've done this before. I've said these things and snapped these pics and I'm tired of it#it's not new. it's not exciting. it's not fulfilling that soul craving for human existence.#also. nice guys who just want to listen to me go off about things I care about. that's cool but can you contribute anything?#when I've said 80% of the things in the chat then maybe there's an imbalance.#have you considered that maybe I want to hear about you too?#you've heard what I'm weirdly annoyed about. now it's your turn.#I've told my funny stories. now it's your turn.#I'm not looking for someone who wants to bury their sense of self in my heart.#I don't care about sex. I don't care about romance. I want the intimacy of two people who recognize the need to huddle together for warmth#we will not survive the night if we do not cling to each other#there's is only one bed and we have run out of wood for the fire.#this hypothermia will kill you if I do not wrap my arms around you under the blanket and massage your skin until your heart warms again#how else can I describe the crippling isolation that kills the heart and poisons the soul?#you care about my body and words cannot describe how I do not give a FUCK#this beautiful body that I have tortured and cut and burned and hit and skinned and chewed and poisoned and starved and killed.#it's nothing but a tool I use to get closer to the fire.#through the window I see your logs burning merrily in the hearth and gods above. I am so cold#and rubbing my hands together does only so much for me#and I don't want you to describe how you would warm me up. I don't want to hear about how nice the fire is.#I don't want you to open the window so I can smell the pine logs hissing as the heat penetrates their fibers#I do not want to microdose on that fire. I wish it were burning down to my bones
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go-fornicate-yourself · 16 days ago
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Every day I am in the trenches fighting for my life defending this poor man. He was going through so much and people online demonize him and say he's as bad as his abuser
(I've got a lot of thoughts about this so I'll make sure to separate things to make it easier to look at lol)
Curly is a victim of abuse. Jimmy is his abuser. This is something that I feel a lot of people tend to brush over or don't acknowledge it often.
And I'm not just talking about post-crash. Jimmy's abuse of Curly is there pre-crash too. The party scene where the crew learns about the company going under is a huge example of this. Jimmy verbally abuses him, he gaslights him, he blames him for their (his) misfortune. Jimmy accuses Curly of thinking he's better than everyone (better than him), that he doesn't care about them (about him). That he's going leave them (leave him). Which is not true. Curly tries to explain himself but Jimmy shuts him down and he just takes it.
The fact that he just allows this to happen makes it seem like he's used to this... That this kind of behavior is a recurring thing with Jimmy. And the fact that nobody else tries to defend him or stands up to Jimmy just normalizes it for him. When Anya tells Curly what Jimmy did it catches him off guard. Bc he genuinely didn't think that his friend was capable of that. It wasn't something that was obvious to him. There were absolutely many red flags in the past but they were subtle enough for him to not see them bc he cares for Jimmy, he trusts him. Jimmy's the only one he feels he can open up to, who he can let his guard down with. Jimmy's his home. That's how close they are.
Because of this deep love for his friend and the subtlety of Jimmy's cruelty, he doesn't see the constant verbal and emotional abuse as what it is: abuse. Which is why he finds Jimmy's abuse towards Anya so shocking and jarring.
He isn't a man covering for his rapist friend bc of the 'bro code'. It does look like that from a certain angle and it's understandable why people see it that way but that's not what his character is really about as much as it makes sense otherwise.
He's essentially a battered housewife who's still in love with her husband but is realizing for the first time that the man she loves is a monster. That the man she loves and devoted her life to has been hurting her this whole time and she didn't even realize it. That the man she loves and spent so much of her life caring for has gone and hurt someone else. That he's most likely hurt others before and she's been utterly unaware of it the entire time she defended him and made excuses for him when he wasn't the best or the fairest or the most responsible or when he screwed up yet again solely bc of how much she loved and cared for him.
And Curly barely had any time to process ANY of that before Jimmy decided to try and kill them all to avoid the consequences of his actions. It was ultimately a selfish act even if he thought he wasn't just doing it for himself. Jimmy is selfish and needs to be in control or he loses it. He cares for Curly. He loves him. Curly's done so much for him. Curly's the only one who understands him, who doesn't hate him. Curly's his home. He resents how 'successful' he is but that's only bc he thinks so highly of him. He constantly puts himself down and put Curly on a pedestal and worships him while simultaneously mistreating him.
He treats his best friend like shit, he's awful to him. But he's not aware that this is the case or maybe he's in denial about it. He can't or just refuses to see how he's doing all of what he does for himself in the end. He justifies his attempt to kill them all (to himself and to Curly) by claiming he's doing this for them both. That if they were to get back to earth it would all be Curly's fault, that it'll ruin his life and career... despite the fact he had basically nothing to do with Anya's abuse. Jimmy's shifting the blame on him while acting like he cares for him. Well, he does genuinely care for him but clearly not nearly enough to not mistreat him or use him as a scapegoat for his own guilt.
Jimmy is the rapist, Jimmy is the one who does all of these horrible things. And yet it's highly likely that Curly would just blame all of it on himself bc that's exactly what Jimmy did to him. He's in so deep he can't see the facts of the situation.
It takes abuse victims so long to come to terms with their abuse. It takes time and reflection to see things with an unbiased and healthy perspective. Abuse (especially years of it) isn't just something you can just escape. It consumes you and can twist your reality. Curly had about a week or less to process all of it and then take action in a way that protected his crew and abided by Pony Express' guidelines. Dealing with something this serious in a setting that makes resolving it extremely difficult in a practical sense is already hard.
There were no locks on any of the doors except for medical and the cockpit. They couldn't just kill him. There was nowhere they could detain Jimmy that wouldn't involve corporate potentially penalizing the entire group. They could have used the cryopods but then there'd only be three available for any actual emergency and there were already five crew members and four pods in total. Also, I doubt corporate would be 'okay' with them using the cryopods for anything other than their intended purpose. Hell, even if they were able to make it back to earth without any incidents there's a good chance that corporate would consider the situation 'poor team synergy' and collectively punish the entire crew for Jimmy's actions.
So on top of having to deal with an already difficult situation, Curly has to grapple with the realization that Jimmy a: abused Anya, b: has been abusing him as well (for a very long time too), and c: has probably abused others before Anya and he had no idea about it. He needed to act but he didn't and it doomed all of them.
But it's so unrealistic (maybe even cruel) to put that much pressure on someone, force them through an utterly earth-shattering realization, and then expect them to do the correct/right/responsible thing in that moment. It's a little ironic how people vilify him for that when other characters do the same thing that nobody blames for it.
Anya is the ship's nurse. Curly is the ship's captain. They both have duties and responsibilities on board the Tulpar. She has to keep the crew healthy and safe and is the only one with enough medical knowledge to do so. He has to make sure that everything goes well and goes according to procedure. He's responsible for the crew, the cargo, and even the ship itself. Both positions are integral and require a lot of responsibility to do properly
They're both put through distressing and traumatic situations where due to them being human people with emotions and fears that make them essentially avoid their responsibility/doing what's required of them.
Curly has a freeze response and doesn't act when he should have when it was crucial to have done so. Anya has a fawn response and essentially puts her patient in danger and harm's way. She knew full well what Jimmy was capable of. She experienced it herself and she witnessed it happening to Curly as well. And yet she allows Jimmy to be alone with Curly while being fully aware of how dangerous he is. Which she shouldn't have, that wasn't the 'right' thing to do. Keeping him safe was her responsibility.
But Anya's human. She's going through a lot at the moment. She's terrified of Jimmy and she's trying to appease him so he doesn't hurt her again. It's a natural very understandable thing to do even if it's not the 'right' or 'responsible' thing. They failed each other when they needed each other most and I think that's the most tragic part of it. If anything, all of them failed each other in some way, shape, or form.
So it's incredibly frustrating to see people give Anya so much sympathy and grace for doing something so human yet still 'wrong' but then turn around and give Curly none of that for doing essentially the same thing she does.
I don't know for sure if it's actually because Curly is a man or if it's only part of it or maybe some people just lack that sense of awareness but it's depressing and frustrating as fuck as a male victim of sexual violence and abuse to see this kind of behavior and this much victim blaming towards a character who is undeniably a victim of abuse like I am.
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ijwtbap · 11 days ago
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ㅤㅤ★ㅤA promise — Bakugō
— Bakugō x GN! reader.
You like Katsuki, he likes you — is a fact not a maybe. He doesn't seem to believe it thought.
a/n. I had to keep my promise ig. Is VERY short so im sorry, also Im bad at english and is my first one shot so have some mercy plz.
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You were going insane. Just a little bit. Well, actually, you were ready to rip out your hair and scream into the void, standing naked as flames consumed you. That's kind of insane.
Every time Bakugō referred to you as his friend—even if he only said you weren’t that annoying and didn’t mind having you around (which was close enough)—you wanted to disappear.
You had done everything but treat him platonically. Sure, you could see how holding hands, cuddling, or crying together might seem platonic. But kissing in bed and saying “I love you” in a completely serious way?
You were completely lost.
At first, you thought it was a joke, then maybe just a game to him.
But now? Now you’re convinced he’s just... dense.
You could tell Bakugō you love him dead serious while looking him dead in the eyes, on your knees and with a big sign that said 'plz marry me,' and he would still think you're joking.
And it was killing you.
"Are you going to study or what?"
You were in his bedroom, "studying." Yeah, right—studying. You just wanted to be there with him. You’d barged in without warning, and yet, he hadn’t even questioned your presence.
"No."
You knew he liked you back. There was no way he didn't, but fuck, he refused to acknowledge it.
"I like you."
His eyes widen for a second before he looks back at his notes.
"Shut up."
"I really do, tho."
"Yeah, whatever."
"I love you."
"If you don't stop, I will kick you out."
"I love you."
" __________ "
"I love you so much."
"Stop it."
"I want to marry you, one day when we're adults. Small or big wedding, or none at all, whatever you prefer."
"I'm being serious."
"So am I."
You two look at each other, him holding his pen so hard that it looks like it's about to break and you looking at him as if he were the most wonderful and prettiest dense idiot you have seen in your life.
"What do you need me to do to make you believe me?"
He ignores you. Mostly because he knows that paying attention to you would just make him more annoyed (because you clearly weren't going to stop) and because he didn't want to accept it.
"Die."
A small smile comes to your mouth. How many people would get offended by that? A lot, but you knew Bakugō didn't mean it.
"You want to recreate Given now?"
Bakugō rolls his eyes, making more notes in his notebook, but you were able to notice a small smirk.
You had forced him to watch it a couple of months ago, and he swears he didn't cry. You knew the truth, though.
"Shut up."
"Shut me up yourself, you coward."
He lets out another scoff, and he continues to avoid your eyes.
"Study already."
You loved Bakugō Katsuki, and he loved you back.
No matter how much time it would take you, you were going to make sure to take his last name and hold his hand in a not-platonic way.
One day.
"I love you."
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I totally didn't use like 3 grammar online correctors, and re read this like 20 times (It will still have an issue, and I know it). I also didn't copy inspired my introduction (?) from a random post.
Anyway, hope you enjoyed my bad writing style. Im not doing this again, unless I get REALLY bored.
521 words.
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cassowariess · 3 months ago
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Look, I'm not a Gaiman fan, I've just been keeping up with the tag for updates about the allegations, and I have to say I'm deeply disturbed at how many young people I've seen say things like: "I want to kill myself" over the possibility of Good Omens 3 being cancelled.
I'm not going to scold you, but I cannot stress enough that this is not a normal response to have about a tv show, let alone any form of media. So as someone who lost a family member to suicide last year(for reasons unrelated to fandom) here is some advice I hope you will heed. Some of this advice is geared towards people with hyperfixations as I know the neurodivergent brain works differently.
First of all, for the future:
Do not put all your eggs in one basket.
It's going to become more and more likely in the future that you will be disappointed in someone who created something you loved. That's why it's important to have multiple things going in your life that keep you tethered instead of projecting all your emotional well being on the status of one thing. I know hyperfixations cannot be chosen, but extra interests can, so you need to cultivate a bunch of them. Go for walks and keep a nature journal, learn a new skill with free videos online (there are also communities built around certain hobbies like knitting etc so there's the possibility of making new friends too). You might not feel better right away, which is why it's important you do these things as a routine (such as once a week or more). It will flex and strengthen your emotional muscles.
It's not always possible, but have at least one of these interests be something that has nothing to do with being online. Maybe there's a book group in your town. Check local boards or listings for activities. Once again, there's the opportunity to make friends.
If you're stuck online, watch a movie with your online friends in Hyperbeam. Do this every week and pick a movie from a list of films everyone has chosen. Pick entertainment that has nothing to do with your fandom. Roll a dice for each week's movie.
If it is available to you, access therapy.
I realize this is not always possible due to costs or waiting lists depending on what part of the world you live in. Sometimes there are free groups that talk about depression. I live in the UK so unfortunately I don't know how prevalent this stuff is in the USA or other parts of the world, but your local council might have leaflets about community services and activities that are good for your mental health too, like community gardening once a week.
You don't need to tell the groups about why you are specifically upset, but you can tell them "life feels dull and pointless" which is why you're reading this, right? But the more you talk to people and try to do activities around other people, the less dull and pointless it will feel. I know it's hard to drag yourself outside, but it becomes easier the more you do it.
Talk to friends in your fandom, but also talk to friends that have nothing to do with it. I've been in enough fandom spaces to know how insular fandom can get and maladpative coping mechanisms some people can share that actually make things worse, not better. Go talk to some normies once in a while. Your fandom friends will still be there.
Finally, some suicide prevention hotlines, should you need them.
Link to international phone numbers and resources.
Look after yourself, remember people love you and remember, it's just a TV show. There will be other TV shows and other joyous things in your life, and next time you will have more of them. <3
Signed,
A fandom old who is not in your fandom.
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illdowhatiwantthanks · 5 months ago
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hi! could i request a rosa diaz fic where rosa has a really awful stomachache while she’s at the precinct, but she doesn’t want to admit she doesn't feel good. she keeps trying to work until reader eventually pulls her aside and rosa opens up and tells reader (rosa and reader aren’t dating yet). then reader brings her home and they get all cozy, and reader stays until rosa feels better. at the end rosa finally admits she likes reader and they kiss and its all very fluffy and sweet. tysm!!
Hey, friend! Hope this is what you were looking for. 🥰 This one took me a little longer than usual, but I'm really pleased with how it turned out. And for all you Rosa Diaz fans, get ready because I've got a lot of Rosa requests in my inbox! —illdowhatiwantthanks
Just Playing
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Rosa Diaz x fem!reader Warnings: explicit language, cops (duh, but they don't do any cop things), mentions of periods, period pain, implied sex Word count: 2.9k
Summary: You take Rosa back to her apartment after she has a rough day at work thanks to period pains. But you never could have seen where the evening would take you.
Rosa was nearly bent double as she stood at the podium, reading notes from a clipboard on a new drug ring they’d be investigating over the next several weeks. Her teeth were gritted, and she looked for all the world like she could kill someone. Well, she looked more like she could kill someone than usual.
You were good at reading Rosa, better than the rest of the squad. Maybe because your job allowed you more observation time; you were an officer, sure, but you didn’t carry a gun and you didn’t police the streets. You were their digital analyst, doing your own investigations online and finding information for the squad to use in their investigations. As a result, you had a lot of time in the precinct.
You were quieter than the others, more reserved, more observant. You knew that Jake got loud when he got insecure. You knew that simply telling Amy she was doing a good job was enough to stop a spiral in its tracks. You knew that Captain Holt had a fondness for candy canes, so you kept some in your desk drawer all year round, just to pull one out when it seemed like he needed a pick-me-up. But you knew Rosa best of all.
You’d be lying if you said you watched Rosa for solely platonic reasons. She was pretty. She was smart. She worked hard, and she cared about people–no matter how much she tried to act like she didn’t. Best of all, you could make her smile. No one else made her smile. After your first month or so on the job, she started talking to you. At first you were taken aback. Why was she being nice to you!? Why was she approaching you at all!? Rosa didn’t do small talk. She didn’t do politeness for the sake of being nice. It had to be that she actually liked you. You were flattered. As far as you could tell, Rosa didn’t like many people.
She especially didn’t like people today. She was clearly not okay. And you weren’t the only one who could tell.
“Any questions?” Rosa asked, finishing up her presentation, and pressing a hand over her abdomen.
Jake raised his hand and Rosa rolled her eyes.
“What, Jake?”
“Are you feeling okay?”
She glared at him. “Why, fuckface? Do I not look okay?”
“No, no!” he squeaked, hands up in defense. “You look great. Everything’s great. Carry on.”
You fiddled around in your bag, waiting for everyone else to leave the room before approaching Rosa, who leaned heavily on the podium, eyes closed.
You approached her cautiously. After all, Rosa was known for her explosive temper. She’d never exploded at you, but there was a first time for everything you supposed.
“Are you really?” you asked quietly.
“Hmm?” Rosa grumbled, inhaling sharply.
“Feeling okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine.” Her voice was decisive, rough.
You lifted your eyes to study her face. When she finally looked at you–her expression pained, exhausted, embarrassed–you knew. She was not okay. The fact that she’d let you see that she wasn’t okay underlined just how not okay she was.
“What’s going on?” Your voice was low, your posture casual so that no one observing would be able to tell you were concerned about her.
“Cramps.” Her cheeks reddened a bit, and you nodded. She didn’t need to say anything else. You got it. Any woman would get it.
“Why don’t you go home?” you suggested.
“I can’t,” she said tersely, glancing into the squad room to make sure no one was watching you two.
“Rosa,” you scolded her. “It’s not gonna kill you to go home an hour early.”
“No, I mean, I can’t.” She grabbed your arm, and gently pulled you aside to where no one could see. Your stomach did little somersaults, and you felt bad for getting excited when Rosa was clearly in pain. “I tried getting on my motorcycle. It felt like I was being stabbed in the fucking uterus. I’m just gonna call a cab once everyone else heads out.”
“Well, that’s dumb,” you blurted out before you could stop yourself. Rosa raised her eyebrows at you. It’s true, you weren’t normally that blunt. “I’ll take you home. You shouldn’t have to stick around here just being in pain. That’s stupid.”
“No, Y/N, don’t need to do that. I’ll be fine.” She started walking away, and this time it was you who grabbed her.
“It’s fine, Rosa. I don’t mind. I’m done with my work for the day. We’re friends, right?”
Rosa looked at you long and hard, like she was thinking through a problem, before nodding thoughtfully. “Yeah. Yeah, we’re friends.”
“Okay, then.” You threw your bag over your shoulder. “This is what friends do.”
You started to walk out of the room, swinging your keys around your finger before stopping and turning back to Rosa. “It’ll, uh, be a minute, though. Just so you know. I parked… pretty far away.”
She grinned at you. “Yeah, I heard about that. You don’t use the precinct lot?”
“No! You have to pay for it! I’m not paying for parking at my job.”
“So where do you park then?” Rosa asked, sitting heavily in a chair and spinning.
You shrugged. “Wherever there’s street parking.”
“I’ll give it to you, Y/L/N,” she said, shaking her head. “You’re committed.”
You shot her an awkward, two-finger salute before walking out of the precinct and starting the several-block trek to your parked car.
You were kind of hanging out with Rosa tonight! Sure, she wasn’t feeling well. Sure, she might just be desperate for a ride home. But it counted… right? You’d parked just a block away from a bodega and silently thanked this morning’s parking gods. You picked up an assortment of things, some you knew Rosa liked, some that you’d want when you were on your period. And then, at the last moment as you waited to check out, you grabbed a bouquet of baby’s breath. It always made you feel better to have something pretty to look at. They might be a little too much, but it’s not like you’d gotten her roses or anything. Baby’s breath was a just friends flower? Right?
You threw your shopping bag in the backseat, then zoomed to the precinct for Rosa. You texted her, then waited, growing more nervous by the second. You’d never been alone with Rosa. Not like this, not in an enclosed space that wasn’t work. She sat with you at lunch sometimes or you went out for drinks with everyone after work, but this was different.
Pull yourself together, you thought, taking a deep breath as Rosa opened the passenger door and sat down heavily, leaning her head back.
“You alright?” you asked, trying to sound casual.
She nodded slowly. You waited for her to tell you where to go, but she was quiet.
“Uh… Rosa?”
She glanced at you.
“I kind of need to know where you live.”
Rosa seemed to think deeply about this, then leaned back and said, “Turn left up here. I’ll tell you where to go.”
You put the car in drive and simply followed.
When you pulled up next to Rosa’s building–a pre-war dairy refurbished as lofts–you followed her in quietly, stunned into silence, the bag of bodega groceries swinging at your wrist.
The elevator took you up to the fifth floor, and you couldn’t help but gape at her huge windows, the sealed concrete floor, the top-of-the-line appliances and expensive furniture.
You set the grocery bag on the kitchen island and took it all in, eyes wide.
“No offense or anything, but… how the hell do you live here on a police officer’s salary?”
“I don’t,” Rosa said bluntly, opening her medicine cabinet and rustling around. “I flip old cars in my spare time.”
“Oh.” You were glad Rosa was turned away from you so she couldn’t see you flush bright red at the thought of how she’d look fixing a car.
“Fuck!” she exclaimed, slamming the cabinet shut. You jumped. “I’m out of–”
“Midol?” you asked, pulling a series of medicines out of your bag. “Tylenol? Advil? Aleve? Pick your poison.”
Rosa looked at the pills, grabbing the Midol, then staring at you so hard you blushed and turned away, rummaging through the grocery bag. You couldn’t see it, but her eyes softened as she watched you.
“You brought me painkillers?” she asked, a faint smile playing on her lips.
“Mmhm.” You nodded, still avoiding her eyes. “And…” You pulled things out of the bag like it was a magic hat. “Takis, Hot Cheetos, chocolate, a frozen pizza, and Moose Tracks.”
Now it was Rosa’s turn to gape at you. But somehow that made you blush all the more. “I just…” You stumbled over your words. “I always like pizza and chocolate when I’m on my period. And I know you love Takis and Hot Cheetos. And you always have Moose Tracks in the freezer at work.” When Rosa didn’t respond, you kept talking, trying to fill the silence. “It’s no big deal or anything. I didn’t want you to have to go out later or–”
“You noticed my Moose Tracks?” she finally said, smirking, her eyes twinkling.
“Well, yeah.” You shrugged. “I notice a lot.”
“Uh-huh…” Rosa mumbled, watching you flutter around the kitchen, opening cabinet after cabinet to find a glass and get her and yourself some water. You were so nervous your mouth was dry.
“Go lay down or something!” you told her, flustered. “I’ll bring you some water. Do you want me to put the pizza in the oven for you?”
“That depends, will you stay and eat it with me?”
Rosa seemed to have transformed all of a sudden. She’d been largely preoccupied with her pain before, and you could tell she was still feeling it, but it was like a switch had been flipped. Where before she’d been, if not distant, just vaguely nice, now she seemed smug, confident, almost… flirty? As if she had something on you. You desperately hoped that what she had on you was not the fact that you had a massive crush on her.
“Uh… s-sure,” you mumbled. “If you want.”
“I do,” she said, flopping onto the couch and covering herself with a blanket. You brought her a glass of water so she could take her pills, then preheated the oven, fishing a sheet pan out of a cabinet and placing the pizza in to bake.
You sat down on the opposite side of the couch from Rosa, inching to the very edge, and trying your very best not to touch her. You never, ever wanted to make her feel uncomfortable by touching her, even by accident. But she spread out and pressed her feet against your thighs, making your breath catch in your throat.
She scrolled through shows on her TV, then asked you abruptly, “You ever watch Drake’s Hollow?”
You shook your head.
“You should. We could now, if you wanted to.”
“Yeah, okay,” you said encouragingly, willing to watch literally anything with Rosa.
“We’ll start at the beginning so you know what’s going on,” she said, searching for the right episode. “It’s not good. It’s like… the McDonald’s of television.”
You grinned. “Like the frozen pizza of television.”
“Yeah.” She smiled at you. “But sometimes it’s all you want, you know?”
Rosa was right. Drake’s Hollow was not good. The acting was awful. The plot? Melodramatic and borderline ridiculous. But it was fun. You loved to gasp at the hilarious twists and turns. The melodramatic, lovelorn speeches of the characters. To yell, “Boo! Dump his ass!” at the screen when the husband was revealed to be cheating on the wife.
For her part, Rosa loved watching you watch Drake’s Hollow. But you wouldn’t know that. You could hardly believe your luck that you were here. In Rosa’s apartment. With Rosa next to you, so close she was touching you! That you were watching this stupid, stupid show together and making a frozen pizza. You were on cloud nine. You couldn’t even bring yourself to look at her, so scared were you that you’d fumble and get awkward again and ruin everything.
“Bathroom?” you asked, standing during a commercial break.
“Down the hall to the right,” Rosa said, pointing behind her.
You stared at yourself in the mirror as you washed your hands, patting cool water on your cheeks in hopes that it’d bring down the flush that hadn’t left since the moment you’d stepped foot in Rosa’s house. You heard the oven timer go off and quickly dried your hands.
You walked into the kitchen, and your stomach dropped all the way to the floor. The pizza was out of the oven, cooling. And Rosa was standing at the island, pulling the slightly rumpled bouquet of baby’s breath out of the grocery bag. The bouquet you’d foregone, thinking it probably was too much.
She looked at you, and you looked away.
“Did you buy me flowers?” she asked.
Fuck, you thought to yourself. Fuck, fuck, fuck.
“Yep,” you sighed, trying to sound nonchalant. “I just… like to have something pretty to look at. You know, when I’m… on my period.”
It was a ridiculous excuse. You knew it. Rosa almost certainly knew it. She wasn’t stupid. You exhaled heavily and slapped a few slices of pizza onto a plate, hoping that a return to the couch, to Drake’s Hollow, would return everything else to normal, too.
You heard Rosa fill a vase with water, heard her arrange the flowers before grabbing her own pizza. Be cool, be cool, be cool, you told yourself as she sat back down, setting her plate next to yours on the coffee table.
You avoided her eyes, waiting for her to start the show again. You got more and more nervous the longer the silence went on, the longer the paused screen vibrated on the TV.
“Y/N,” Rosa finally said, her voice softer than normal.
Fuck, you cursed internally. You’d fucked it up. She knew. She knew and she didn’t feel the same because of course she didn’t, and now you’d ruined everything. It was all going to be awkward and weird now. Fuck.
“Flowers aren’t a thing that friends do.”
You let out a shaky breath. “They… could be?” you ventured, knowing as soon as it left your mouth that it wasn’t true, not for you and her.
She carefully slid her hand into yours, and you felt your heart stop.
“And what if I wanted to give you flowers?” she asked.
You blinked, not quite believing your ears, and turned to look at Rosa. Her face was light, playful, so much softer than usual. Was she teasing you? Tricking you? Making fun of you? Surely, she wasn’t that mean. She could be ruthless, sure. But she wasn’t cruel. Not to people she cared about it.
She gently grasped your chin, and your stomach did flips. Then she leaned forward and she kissed you. Just like that. So simple, so easy, so soft. Softer than you’d ever imagined Rosa to be. A softness she probably didn’t let many people see. She was so gentle, her fingers light as feathers against the skin of your face, her lips barely grazing yours, as if to ask for permission.
When she pulled away, you were breathless, even though she’d barely touched you, barely pressed her lips to yours. You just looked at each other for a moment, as if to gauge the other, as if to ask if this was real. But you–you’d wanted to kiss Rosa since the day you met her. The fact that she wanted to kiss you? Unbelievable. Beyond your wildest imagination. Rosa fucking Diaz. Absolute enigma. Terror of the Brooklyn 99. Wanted to kiss you.
Before you could even fully register what you were doing, you’d surged forward, grasping her face in your hands, pressing your lips to hers with all the fervor of an unrequited love that had, against all odds, become requited. She laughed, smiling into the kiss, pressing her hands against your collarbone, curling them around your neck.
When you finally ran out of breath, you leaned back, grinning, hand pressed to your forehead. Rosa laughed again, and you turned to her.
“This isn’t a prank, right?” you asked.
“No!” she scoffed, grabbing a slice of pizza and taking a bite. “I’m not that mean.”
You raised your eyebrows.
“Okay, I wouldn’t be that mean to you.”
“Wow,” you smirked, taking a bite of your own slice. “You really do like me.”
“Shut up, nerd,” she grumbled, mouth full, shoving her shoulder into you.
But you could tell by the way her eyes sparkled, by the way the corners of her mouth turned up, by the way she let herself linger next to you, skin touching, that she was playing when she called you names.
But she wasn’t playing when she kissed you. Wasn’t playing when she turned Drake’s Hollow back on and tentatively tucked herself into your side. And she certainly wasn’t playing when the pizza was done, the ice cream eaten, the show over, the night late. When she said, “You might as well stay if you want to. You’ll have to drive me in the morning anyway,” then stood and walked to her bedroom, giving you a look that let you know you were meant to follow. And you did.
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nicosraf · 17 days ago
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It's my birthday! And Angels Before Man's second birthday from the original publishing! And almost three years since the original draft of it! Wow! Thank you all a million times for being here. Really, genuinely
I'd like for this extremely long post to be happier ! But a lot of people are really troubled by the United States election. There's a lot of fear-mongering online about what'll happen and a lot of real threats to marginalized people in the U.S. and abroad. I don't talk about my own identities a ton. I'm a gay, trans, Mexican from the US-Mex border. The vast majority of my family, community, and friends are immigrants of varying legal statuses. I could lose everything!! I fear for my family! My friends! For my body and my heart!
My mom called me yesterday morning, though, basically asking for an explanation. She told me she was shocked, she was scared, and I said that so was I, then we said, "Pos ni modo." Ni modo!! Oh well!!! What can we do now? We can keep doing what we've always done. Survive. That's all you really have to do at the end of the day, you know, survive.
My family is from a rough Mexican city that fell apart when I was little, a place where my own family has been kidnapped and bodies have been left mutilated in the street for everyone to see. The radio spoke in code to let you know not to go outside when things got really bad. There used to be mariachis in the street to greet American tourists but by the time I was little, they were mostly gone. Boarded up, abandoned stores and boarded up, abandoned homes. I remember being scared, and I remember not knowing what to do listening to a shoot out right outside. I remember my heart stopping when my family was stopped by the soldiers and they demanded money out of us for the first time.
(And I can talk also about living on the other side. The hyper policing, ICE, the racism when my school played against other schools, my parents forbidding me from speaking Spanish outside our Mexican enclave and to stay close to them, and I can talk about the aggression from the white nuns at my catholic school toward the latino kids, I can talk about having to see the border patrol every day just to go to school, I can even talk about Trump-supporters coming down to the border and making a mess of the place and I can talk and I can talk but why? what for??)
My family is all (mostly) still around. I'm here also. We're still here. All of that horrible stuff happened and is still happening to us y ni modo!! Ni modo ! The fight continues. You'll be fine if you allow yourself to be, and if you're not, then you really gave it your best shot, and the people around you will see that you did.
I know for a lot of people there might be the urge to spiral into doom and grieve, but you don't need to borrow the grief of the future. Today you can get up and roll up your sleeves and clean the house. That's what my parents tell me to do when I'm sad. Ponte a limpiar. Ponte a trabajar. I used to get mad at them for it, but in the end, you're only in charge of yourself and the places/things that you upkeep.
I was raised around nopales (prickly pear cacti) and, many years ago, I threw one out of my parent's house because I didn't know what to do with it. I didn't want it. I figured it'd get eaten by something or die somehow. The nopal started growing instead, and it's still there. It even grew a flower, though it hasn't given us a pear yet. My dad doesn't like the pears/tuna but my mom does, so we went out to check on it and while we were there, we heard a bird singing. He looked up and he told me it was a cenzontle and that it was singing a little song for the nopal. I had this thought about how even though I basically tried to kill it, the nopal was growing, thriving. it's an easy metaphor to make, but the earth gives you simple lessons sometimes.
(The monarchs pass by every year. They don't even do it legally. They cut the border line and don't wait their turn to talk to the Customs guys!!! They just fly overhead then look back at us like we're crazy. How can we explain this to them? How do I tell them that there's a place that hates us both)
All you have to do is survive. Whatever happens to me or my family or my friends, we will find a way to grow and find birds to sing along with. If there's so much grief in the future, then we can grieve when that time comes. In other words, canta y no llores. All you have to do is survive. Take it hour by the hour. Pick up the broom and get to work while you can.
Because I've talked too much, I wanted to remind everyone that my ebooks versions of my writing will always be free to read.
Maybe it'll come as a shock to you that a lot of ABM was about coping with losing a home forever, of remembering the feeling of wall paint that you will never feel again. But it's about survival too. I hope you all take care of yourselves as much as we can. This isn't a sad post! Go out and enjoy what you have! Go for a snack. Protect yourself however youre able to. I'm so lucky to have a birthday, to have lived this long. I hope my work will live on no matter how much the world might despise it. I've survived this far despite the world too, and so will ABM... I hope ! :)
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terresdebrume · 1 month ago
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I think I want to point at the elephant in the room today
The problem when we have the ever more frequent conversation of how to keep a fandom alive after the show it's based on stops airing is that we tend talk about it in a way that ignores the very real differences between the juggernauts of old fandoms like Star Trek and newer shows like Dead Boy Detectives, namely:
1. The difference in amount of material
2. The accessibility of said material
Part of the reason why Star Trek or The X-Files still have active fans so long after they aired is because those shows had multiple seasons with an average of 20 episodes each. For the X-Files' 11 seasons that's about 200 episodes each with their own storylines, themes, interesting ideas and frustrating mistakes right there to inspire Fanart, fic, meta, and any number of fanwork. I'm not even going to do the math on Star Trek: this show got about a bazillion shows
Dead Boy Detectives, and a lot of genre shows nowadays have like... Eight episodes. Ten, if we're lucky. Fandoms for procedurals or more broadly appealing shows fare better (Lone Star comes to mind, or sitcoms for example) because networks tend to keep them online longer, but genre series get ever shorter with ever fewer opportunities to really grow an audience... Think of all the shows that got popular on Tumblr in the past few years and tell me how many got a proper season? Shadow and Bones was cancelled. My Lady Jane: one season. Gentleman Jack, two (three?). Good Omens: maybe 3, depending on how the network handle the Gaiman situation. The Umbrella Academy got four seasons. Stranger Things, with 5 seasons and 42 episodes managed to equate roughly 2 seasons of the X-Files (probably not even that if you account for episode length). The Witcher currently has 3 seasons for 24 episodes.
Contrast this to shows like Dead Boy Detectives with, again, eight episodes. Maybe 16 if we get really lucky, but I'm not holding my breath. This is just materially WAY LESS soil for a fandom to grow in. It's not that people aren't motivated, it's that as much as you want to keep it going, there's only so much to say about 8 episodes! George Rexstrew, who plays one of the leads, even recently admitted that he's running out of things to say about his performance, and who can blame him? So after a while, you gotta turn to AU which by definition are always going to be potential hits and misses, since they diverge from what brought people to the show in the first place.
I know we're all real good at spinning yarn but sometimes it gets really hard not to run out of fiber.
As for accessibility: the Big Olds benefitted from two things. One, they were broadcast on much wider-reaching channels, if not from the start, then when they eventually made it on public networks. They had a regular play time, and you could stumble onto them by accident, this getting interested and picking it up. And two: the popular shows had a decent chance of getting tape or DVD sets, which made them easier to own and show to your friends so they could binge the story and join you in the fandom
By comparison, look at the barrier of access for Dead Boy Detectives:
Need to have a Netflix account
Need to see it somewhere in your recommendation (good luck if you come in more than a month after it released)
Need to see people talk about it as they binge (need to be in the right place at the right time, and by that I mean where fandom happens since Netflix has a habit of doing zero advertising for new shows)
Need to keep paying for a Netflix account if you wanna rewatch, or figure out how to do a piracy, which is getting more difficult and riskier every year
Need to be willing to get invested in a forever unfinished story
And when on top of that the writing in the first episode is, let's say it frankly, far from the best, that is a LOT of obstacle to overcome for a pretty small sandbox
So like, yeah, sure, we should be willing to keep making a fandom happen after a show ends, but at some point we can't ignore that the effort it takes to keep fandoms alive is getting way more intense than it used to be
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silentglassbreak · 3 months ago
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if you’re still taking and writing delulu fantasies could i please request one where you meet noah (say you know people working in the scene so you meet them backstage after a show when your friends invite you to spend time with them?).
you’re used to meeting band dudes so it’s nothing but noah tries to appear chill in his pursuit of you. you think he’s cute so you go with it but the most awkward flirtation and cringy smut ensues. (my kink’s an embarrassed noah 😌) thank you so much! <3
Cringey, embarrassed smut? That’s a first for me, and I’m kind of excited LOL. Hopefully this is what you’re looking for!
After Writing Notes: Yaknow, every time I start one of these things, I tell myself I'm going to make it shorter...Anyway, here's 9000 words. Hope you enjoy! Also, huge shoutout to @notyourmomsromancenovel for helping me come up with ideas for cringey smut.
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: injury, fainting, smut (in the goofiest way ever)
Beautiful Mistakes
When you pictured Noah Sebastian - front man and lead vocalist in the viral metal-core band Bad Omens - you pictured something way different.
You had been following the band’s work for a while and, like everyone else, had noticed the immediate shift in their persona and presence. You had been a softcore fan of theirs since 2018, and spent many nights on Twitch, playing Elden Ring and listening to his streams as background noise. Sometimes you had been one of the only people in the chat, listening to him produce his beats or record rough vocals. Other times, you sat and chatted with him while he idly played guitar.
Once the pandemic hit full force, there were plenty of nights you sat and talked to Noah, watching the hilarity that ensued. Cat-eared headset on and music playing, Noah would stare at his screen, munching on the Body of Christ and making ridiculous noises.
“Where are my regulars? I need someone to talk to!”
/CrossContaminate/: I’m right here, calm down.
“Hey! Cross is here! I haven’t seen you in a while.”
/CrossContaminate/: I have a job, Noah. You wouldn’t know about that. 😝
“Woooooow…” He pressed a hand to his chest and stared straight into the camera. “That one stung, girl.”
/CrossContaminate/: How do you know I’m a girl? I could be a 50 year old dude, yaknow.
He raised his eyebrows at that. “You’ve got a point. Maybe you should come on video chat with all of us so we can be sure.” He lowered his glasses down on his nose and looked dead into the camera. “For my own safety, of course.”
You cackled loudly at this, typing out your response.
/CrossContaminate/: Nah, I don’t vid chat. You’ll just have to take my word for it.
He rolled his eyes, and smirked. “Same old Cross, I see.”
Noah tried to get you to join video chat regularly often over the years. He had DM'ed you a few times when he saw you were online, wanting to voice call or join a Discord with him, to which you always declined.
You didn’t have a hard and fast rule against chatting online with people via voice or video, you just didn’t do it. Your life was busy and hectic. You didn’t have a ton of time to yourself, so the nights where you got to sit and just not exist in the real world, and only online, it was nice to just remain anonymous.
You had stumbled across Noah’s Twitch by accident once, when looking for something different. His face captured you, however, and once you clicked into it, you were hooked. It wasn’t so much because he was good looking - he was definitely a cutie - but he looked ridiculous.
His hair was long and haphazard. He was wearing an oversized hoodie, drinking cheap wine straight from the bottle, and he was wearing huge bottle cap sunglasses. It was, by far, the goofiest thing you had seen in a long time. He was playing Dead Space, and would jump at the smallest noises, nearly screaming anytime a monster popped into the frame.
But, as all things, time moved on, and he changed. Once the pandemic was waning down, he had began preparing for the release of his next album. The streams became less frequent, and he put his account on a permanent hiatus.
It was a bummer, so you couldn’t help but try keeping track of him on socials. He was decently active on Twitter and Instagram, but even that began to slow down. He had enough followers that your personal account went unnoticed by him.
Aside from his online presence, his appearance also changed pretty dramatically in a very short time. He cut all of his hair off, which, to be entirely honest, broke your heart some. You had always loved the innocence he seemed to maintain by having the long hair. It hurt your feelings to see it go, but you had to admit, the short hair was something else entirely.
Before, Noah typically stuck to regular t-shirts and jeans, simple and timeless rock and roll fashion. Once they started touring for TDOPOM album, you noticed the dramatic change in their stage presence. Ski masks, all black clothing, track pants, and heavy coats. Noah usually ended the set in a black wife-beater top, and you noticed the other change.
He was fucking stacked, now. Noah had always been skinny and long - like a toothpick. Not anymore. His shoulders had broadened, his neck was thicker, and his arms were defined and muscular. That was a change you didn’t mind at all.
What happened? Was second puberty a thing? Because you swore that could be the only explanation for such a drastic difference in Noah in such a short time period.
Although you watched the band from afar, you never had made any time to go see them live, always working anymore. That sucked, because even if you had, it’s not like you’d be able to see him. He was too big of a celebrity now, and you were far from. He likely wouldn’t even remember you, so you never bothered.
As silly as it sounded, it almost hurt your feelings the same as watching an old friend change and grow apart from you over time, even though that wasn’t exactly the case here.
Although, you rationalized that you and him did speak nearly every day for almost two whole years - so it wasn’t that silly, was it?
So you were absolutely floored when your best friend called you, random Friday evening, and asked you for a favor.
“I booked a gig for tomorrow, and I know it’s last minute, but the guy who was supposed to be helping ate some bad sushi or something, and I could desperately use a hand.”
You groaned, rolling your eyes, trying not to be too loud in the Target checkout line.
“It’s my only day off, Iz.”
She huffed. “I know, I know, but I promise it pays really well!”
You growled into the receiver. “Dude, I just did a gig last night, and I have another to do tonight!”
“It’s only four hours! And it pays twelve hundred.”
You were ready to protest, but stopped. “Total?”
“A piece.”
“Fuck, dude. That’s more than double what a normal gig that long pays.”
“I know, that’s why I’m saying, worth the exhaustion.”
You finished scanning your items, pulling your card out to pay. “That kind of money, probably a big band. Who is it?”
“Bad Omens, have you heard of them?”
You stopped, eyes snapping up and fingers stalling at the card reader. “No shit, huh?”
“So, you have heard of them?”
You grabbed your bag, making your way outside. “Yeah, actually. Remember that guy on Twitch I used to talk to?”
“Noah?” It took her a second to put the pieces together, so you stayed silent while she did. “Oh, Noah! As in Noah Sebastian!”
“Bingo.”
“Well shit! Maybe he remembers you!”
You shook your head, taking a long gulp of your iced coffee. “Mm-mm,” You set the drink down. “he never saw my face or heard my voice. Didn’t even know my real name.”
“Seriously?”
“Yep. Only knew me by my tag. He called me ‘Cross’ for short.”
“Ah, okay, so he’ll have no idea who you are!” She laughed at this.
You switched the call to your Bluetooth and sighed. “I guess, since you asked so fucking nicely and I need to pay my rent, I will agree to do the gig with you.”
She squeaked in appreciation. “You’re saving my ass, dude.”
You shrugged. “Pick me up at least two hours before. We need time to prepare.”
“Noon, then?”
“I’ll be ready.”
You and Isobel were known, by the official term in the industry, as Venue Assistants. You were independent contractors who were recommended to acts by the venues, and hired by those bands for specific occasions to help ensure a smooth, easy show. This could mean anything from stocking the green room, switching out instruments, helping with outfit changes, grabbing anything the artists needed. It was an exhausting job, and you had been doing it for about five years now. As tiring as it was, it paid well, and it was a lot of fun. You had the opportunity to meet some of the best bands in the industry - and some of the worst. You had more stories to tell than anyone, and you wouldn’t change careers if you were paid to.
At the venue the following day, you had received word from the stage director that the band was running behind, and they needed you both to grab food and coffees for all of them. Typically, you’d roll your eyes at this, but you didn’t immediately, as you knew life happened, and it could’ve happened for a lot of reasons. You had gone and grabbed the guys their Chinese food while Iz picked up the Starbucks order, and arrived back at the theater just before the band did.
They came in, all looking rather tired and irritated. Noah was the last to enter, baseball hat on his head and wearing basketball shorts under his large hoodie.
“All I’m saying is, I don’t know how you had no idea the window would break.” The man who you recognized to be Jolly was still lecturing Noah as they came in, dropping their bags down.
You and Isobel were in the back of the room, speaking with the crew who were preparing to bring in the instruments and equipment. You planned to help unload it all, so you were listening to the stage director instruct them on where to place everything.
“It was a stress ball! Why would I think it would break the window?!”
“Because it was hard?” Folio piped up as he sat down, tearing into the food.
“Look, it’s not a huge deal. Safelite said they can have it fixed before tomorrow. It’ll be fine!”
You shook your head, sincerely wondering what the hell they were talking about. Your attention, however, was pulled back to Isobel. You followed her out to the truck where the loading ramp was being pulled down.
“You going to talk to him?” She asked as she began pulling a mic stand out. You grabbed one of the smaller amps, and followed her back to the delivery door.
“Probably not. We’ve got a lot to do.”
“I mean,” She set the stand down and looked over to where the band sat, apparently still arguing amongst themselves, and looked back at you. “you could go talk to him now? I can unload this with the guys.”
“I need to earn my paycheck too, Iz.”
“Why don’t you want to talk to him?”
You stopped walking away, turning to look at her. “I never said that.”
“So go talk to him? He’s just a guy.”
You sighed, narrowing your eyes at her. “Fine, I will.”
Stomping back toward the couches of the green room, you heard her laugh behind you. It wasn’t any big deal, you didn’t see why she was bugging you about this. You inhaled a big breath, and walked straight up to the group, noticing they were all now sat and eating.
“Hey guys.” You waved a hand at them. “I don’t mean to bug you while you’re eating. I just wanted to introduce myself. I’ll be one of your VA’s for the evening. If you need anything at all, or have any preferences I should be aware of, please don’t hesitate to ask.”
They all set their food down and stood, pushing their hands out for you to shake. You took each one gracefully, hearing them tell you their names, which you already knew.
The last to introduce himself was Noah, who, while leaning over the table to take your grasp, knocked a bottle of soy sauce down, causing you to jump back. It was too late, and your dark blue jeans had black splatter on them.
“Fuck! I’m so sorry!”
You grabbed a napkin and patted at the spots quickly, waving. “No, it’s okay. It shouldn’t stain.” Hopefully.
Nicholas grabbed a roll of paper towels from the back table and cleaned it up quickly, smiling sheepishly at you. “You’ll have to excuse Noah. He’s as clumsy as they come.”
Noah smacked a hand at his shoulder. “Not true, dick.” He looked back up at you apologetically. “Again, I’m so sorry.”
Moving around the table to approach him, you took his hand. “It’s really no problem.”
“I didn’t catch your name?” You gave it to him, and he smiled brightly at you. “That’s different?”
Smirking, you nodded. “It is. You can just call me Cross.”
For a second, you weren’t sure he was going to get it. His hand continued shaking yours for an unnecessarily long time while his brow furrowed, staring at you. After a moment, he cocked his head to the side.
“Cross…” He strung the word out on his tongue. “As in…” You could actually see the light bulb go off behind his eyes, and they popped open wide.
“Oh shit!” His hand let go of yours, and suddenly he was grabbing you by the forearms, startling you a bit. “No fucking way!”
He was smiling way bigger than you expected, but in that smile, you saw that same goofy guy that used to sit with you for hours, chatting online and dicking around.
“I wasn’t sure you’d remember.” You grinned back at him, trying to push down the little bit of butterflies that started trying to scoot their way into your chest.
You noticed how his face fell just slightly when you said it, likely remembering quite how long it had been. “Of course I remember.” His voice was even, but he still looked enthused.
“Well, it’s good to finally meet you.”
He looked up and down at you, taking a step back for effect. “Yeah, same here. I guess you aren’t a fifty year old dude after all.”
Your face flushed at that, and you shook your head. “Nope. Sorry to disappoint.”
“Care to introduce?” Jolly stood behind you, and you turned to see him stand with a raised eyebrow.
Noah took the initiative to push you slightly toward the rest of the band.
“You guys remember when I used to stream all the time? And I had that one chick who used to join every day and chat with me for hours? She was the one who used to tell people I was a Billie Eilish fan page.” He looked down at you with an eyebrow raised, and you broke out in hard laughter.
“Well, you practically were, Noah!”
He shook his head, turning to tower over you. “I was not! I just like her music!”
Folio stood up, smiling wide. “Oh, dude I remember that! Didn’t she hack into your account and change your profile photo and everything?”
Noah glared down at you, which caused a whole new fit of giggles to erupt.
“What?! It got you more subs!”
He rolled his eyes and pulled your arm, moving you to sit on the couch next to him.
“How have you been?” He shoved a mouthful of chow mein and spoke around his food. ���I know it’s been a while, I’m sorry.”
You just shook your head. “No need to apologize. You’ve been busy.”
He beamed at that. “Have you heard the new album?”
“I have. It’s really great.”
“You think? I appreciate that.”
You sat back, watching how he inhaled the food in front of him. “Also, I’ve been good. Also keeping busy.”
Wiping his mouth on a napkin, he nodded. “This is what you do? Full time?”
“Yeah, been doing it a while. I like it.”
He leaned back also, arms falling into his lap. The other guys had began to disperse, heading to different parts of the building to begin their preparations.
"That's cool."
The conversation fell silent between you both, and you cleared your throat. "Well, it's really good to see you, Noah."
He affirmed with a nod, chewing on his lip. "I feel bad for not keeping in touch."
"Oh stop. You had no way to reach me other than Twitch."
"That's true. I don't have social media anymore, either." He shrugged his shoulders.
"Yeah, I saw that."
The quiet was strange and uncomfortable, and you decided not to stall your job any longer. "Well, I'd better get back to work."
He stood too, bumping into your shoulder as he did, nearly knocking you back into the couch. Instantly, his hand reached out to grab you.
"Shit!" He exclaimed, and in his attempt to hook your arm, his hand missed, and grabbed a full hand of your right breast.
A sharp gasp tumbled out of you, and he pulled his hand back with haste, causing you to lose your balance again, and fall backward, the back of your head smacking the arm of the couch.
"Damn it!" He crouched down to grab you, but your hand came up in front of you.
"Uhm," You squeezed your eyes closed, clearing the spots that formed in your vision. "I got it."
Sitting up, you rubbed at the back of your head. He sat down again, keeping about a foot of distance between you.
"I'm so fucking sorry."
Your eyes opened, seeing the look of absolute shame and guilt painted on his face. It was comical.
What a fucking doofus.
"Noah," You turned your head back and forth to assess if your neck was injured. It wasn't. "I think your clumsiness is spreading."
His face fell in his hands. "I'm so sorry." He apologized again, groaning loudly. "I don't know what's wrong with me today!"
"Everyone has off days." You assured, taking a moment before you stood back up.
"Not like today. I broke a window in the tour bus this morning, that's why we were late."
Your mouth fell open. "You broke the window?"
"I didn't mean to! I had one of those squishy stress-ball things? It was real firm, cause it was new. So I was trying to soften it up by squeezing it, and I thought, maybe if I bounced it a few times, it would get softer..."
Your eyebrows shot up in disbelief. "You didn't..."
"I just tossed it gently and the fucking thing broke a hole clean out of the window!"
Maybe it was the near-concussion or the obscenity of it all, but a guttural laughter came out of you, making you fall back onto the couch clutching your sides.
"It's not funny!" Noah tried to argue, but ended up laughing with you, his bravado deflating.
"Ah, Noah," You wiped the tears spilling from your eyes. "you really haven't changed."
After your unfortunate accident earlier, Noah had insisted on exchanging numbers with you, so he could check in and make sure you were okay throughout the night. This was after he failed to convince you to go get checked out at an ER, and swore him to not tell anyone what happened. The last thing you needed was an incident in the workplace.
Noah was half an hour from going onstage, and you were on the side stage, checking the battery level of all of the microphones. Your phone buzzed in your back pocket and you rolled your eyes. It had been nearly constant for the last three hours.
Noah: Checking in. How's the head?
You sighed, typing a quick response.
You: Same as it was twenty minutes ago - normal.
Noah: Any pain?
You: No.
That wasn't entirely true. You had a dull throbbing at the base of your skull, but you were doing a great job of ignoring it.
Noah: Okay. Where are you?
You: Stage left. I'm covering you and Folio tonight, so I'm checking the mics and making sure all your stuff is ready.
Noah: Cool. Need any help?
You: Shouldn't you be getting ready?
Noah: Yeah, probably.
You snickered, staring at your screen before sending the next message.
You: If I didn't know better, I'd think you concussed me just to ask me for my number.
It was stupid, but you couldn't help but fuck with him a little bit. His response came quickly.
Noah: Maybe I did. ;P
You scowled down at the phone. What the hell?
His type bubble appeared quickly, another message coming in.
Noah: Wait, that sounded creepy. I'm kidding, I swear.
You: Suuuuuuure
He read that message, but didn't respond. You had definitely caught him a little off-guard and it made you laugh. You stared down at the winking face emoji, and it dawned on you that he was flirting with you. You visibly shivered, somewhat stunned.
Noah Sebastian was tall, dark, and sexy in almost every video and interview you had watched of him since he went dark over a year ago...but inside, it appeared he was still just as dorky and uncoordinated as you always knew him to be. You didn't realize it was quite this bad, however.
And not only was he clumsy, he was bad at flirting too...
You shook off the feeling, trying your hardest not to smile at the thought. Despite the ickiness of it all, you were flattered. He may be kind of Scooby-Doo-ish, but he was handsome, and talented. He also had a soft, deep side of him that you had the pleasure of seeing on more than one occasion.
Maybe he was just nervous? Maybe you could just go with it and see how it turned out?
You resolved to push it to the back of your mind for the time being, placing yourself back into your professional work mindset as the show began.
Noah was entirely different on stage, completely in control and flowing effortlessly through the songs. He looked like an entirely different person out there. He would pop back to the sides here and there to get some water, switch out his mic, or wipe the sweat from his face. Each time, he'd give you a look of concern, and ask about your head again. You would just shush him and push him back out onto the stage.
You were also covering Folio, who was up on the riser, beating away at his drum set. The stairs you had to climb were tall, and after the third trip up here, you felt the room tilt like it was turning on it's side. You held the railing, catching Folio's eye as the darkened room began lighting up again.
He mouthed at you a quick 'You good?' and you just nodded, throwing him a thumbs up, and heading back down the stairs. Noah was stood, gulping his water, and staring at you.
"I saw that. What's wrong?"
You shook your head. "Nothing, go, the next song is starting."
He pressed a hand into your shoulder, now looking much more stern than worried. "I don't care. Are you okay?"
Still trying to brush it off, you grabbed hold of his arm, trying to push him away. It didn't occur to you that it was also instinctive, as your feet were starting to feel a little numb. "Noah, you don't have time for this."
He stood square in front of you, eyebrows raised and arms crossed over his chest.
"Are. You. Okay?" He enunciated each word, but he suddenly started to look so much taller than he did a second ago. And when did he become so fuzzy?
Your hand squeezed where it was hooked onto his bicep in an attempt to stop the inevitable, but, unfortunately, before he could manage to reach for you, the room went dark.
Your eyes cracked open, a harsh light shining in them, and you squinted against it.
"Hey, you with us?" A blonde man you didn't recognize stared down at you, a stethoscope around his neck and gloves on his hands.
A paramedic. Amazing.
When you looked around, you realized you were on a gurney, sitting in the back of an ambulance with the doors open, in the parking lot of the venue. It was the paramedic that was on call at the theater that night.
"Ugh, no fucking way." You tried to sit up, but a hand pressed onto your shoulder. You shifted your eyes to see Isobel sitting on the bench next to the stretcher. "Iz? What happened?"
The EMT spoke for her, putting his light back in his shirt pocket, and began moving his fingers back and forth in front of your face for you to follow.
"Well, you passed out, and cracked your head on the floor pretty good." You squeezed your eyes closed in frustration. "Big guy in there told us you hit your head earlier, too? That's probably what caused you to faint."
Yeah. Big, dumb, gargantuan guy.
"My head hurts." You winced as the medic turned your neck, checking your range of motion.
"I'm sure it does. You're all intact, it appears, but given that this was the second impact today, I strongly suggest going to the ER to get a scan."
You rolled your eyes, trying again to sit up. "I don't think-"
Isobel cut you off. "We're going."
The EMT nodded, and reached to begin shutting the doors. Admitting defeat, you carefully laid your head back down. The vehicle started moving and you let out a hard breath.
"We're so not getting paid for tonight."
Iz laughed, shaking her head. "I think it'll be fine. Noah was in a near panic attack when he moved you to the couch. Kept saying it was all his fault."
You snickered. "Kind of is."
"He wanted to cancel the rest of the show, but I told him you'd have a full stroke if he did that because of you."
Your eyes popped open, and you tried to sit up. "He didn't do that, did he?!"
The EMT pressed you back down. "Easy, easy."
Isobel patted your shoulder. "No, he didn't."
You melted back onto the bed. "Oh thank fuck for that."
The ride to the Emergency Room was short, and the nurses made quick work of getting you into a rollable bed and carting you off to get a CT scan of your head and neck. That was mundane, but they had given you something decent for the pain, so it wasn't so bad. You hummed to yourself as you were rolled back to your room, and Isobel was missing. You whipped your head around, looking to see if she was anywhere to be found, but a voice came from the opposite side.
"She went to get a snack."
Noah stood by the doorway, hands in the pockets of his cargo pants, white t-shirt on, and a beanie over his hair. He had cleaned up since the show, you could tell.
"The show is over already?"
He huffed out a laugh, stepping over to the end of your bed. "Yeah, for a little while now. You've been at the hospital for two hours."
You raised your eyebrows, but it didn't phase you too much. "Time flies when you're on morphine, I suppose."
His hands gripped the rails at the end of the bed. "How you doing?"
You nodded, sinking against the mattress. "I mean, I've been better, but I've been worse."
He lifted an eyebrow at you, and moved to perch himself on the very edge of the end of the bed. "Yeah? That's...better than nothing?"
You nodded, looking him up and down. He looked more like himself in this outfit, and you liked it. It felt more genuine.
"How did the rest of the show go?"
He shrugged his shoulders, hands still in his pockets. "Good, I guess. I was stressed, so I felt like I kind of rushed through it."
You brought your arms up behind your head, getting comfortable. "You shouldn't have. I'm good."
Noah deadpanned at you. "Obviously you weren't. You should've gone to the hospital earlier."
You scoffed. "Oh well. Doesn't matter now."
He was leaned over, his shoulder pulled in and he looked nervous.
"What's wrong?"
"What?" He looked bewildered.
"You look upset or something?"
He snickered, readjusting his feet on the floor. "Well, I gave you a concussion, couldn't convince you to get checked out and agreed not to tell anyone, which led to you getting an even worse concussion, and you're now potentially bleeding into your brain... That's probably got something to do with it."
You waved a hand at him. "Details. It's not a big deal."
He shook his head, looking at the wall adjacent from him and not at you. "This is not how I pictured us getting to meet."
This interested you, so you probed. "You pictured us meeting?"
He smirked. "We talked for a couple years, Cross. Of course I did."
"And how was that supposed to go?" High or not, you were curious.
He chuckled, still not looking at you. "Not like this."
You rolled your eyes. "Well, duh. But what did you expect?"
"I don't know. Something normal? Hanging at a movie or getting food? Like normal people?"
You cackled. "Well, you're not normal, Noah."
"Clearly." He said through grit teeth.
Leaning back again, you relaxed, and pursed your lips. "Were you trying to flirt with me earlier?"
You could tell this caught him by surprise, as he began looking nervous again. "What do you mean?"
"Well, either your were trying to flirt, or you actually gave me a concussion just to get my phone number."
He bit back a laugh, looking at you sheepishly. "Yeah, no that wasn't on purpose. Just a bad joke."
"Well, you could've just asked for my number, is all I'm saying."
He shook with soft laughter. "Noted." He stood then, turning toward the doorway where Isobel could be seen coming down the hallway. "Well, I mostly wanted to make sure you were okay. I should go."
Something about that didn't feel right to you, and you sat up a little quickly, your brain sloshing slightly in your skull, but you ignored it.
"You're leaving?" In your inebriated mind, you pictured yourself looking silly and desperate, but your logic knew that likely was just the drugs talking.
“Yeah, well, you don’t need a disaster magnet hanging around.” He said looking timid.
Isobel had joined you back in the bedroom, and was turning to look between the both of you.
“Everything okay?” She stared at Noah, and he reached a hand to palm the back of his neck.
“Yeah, I was just getting ready to head out.”
Your mouth moved before you could stop it. “No he wasn’t.”
Both of their heads snapped to look up at you, and he looked so puzzled. “No?”
You shook your head, soft smile adorning your face. “No, not unless you have somewhere to be.”
Isobel picked up on the tension in the room and made a show to look at her smart watch.
“Oh damn, look at that, I’m getting a call. Be right back.”
She slipped from the room and Noah focused his stare back on you.
“You want me to stay?”
You nodded, crossing your legs in front of you and sitting straight.
“That could be hazardous, you know?” He joked, but rounded back around by the bed, sitting a little closer to you on the edge.
“I don’t care.”
It took what felt like forever for the doctor to finally enter the room, interrupting yours and Noah’s game of hot hands you were playing while Iz sat in a chair on the side, chatting idly about the next gig she had booked for Motionless in White.
“Ah, I see your coordination is no issue.” The doctor spoke right as your hand came down to slap the back of Noah’s hard, forcing him to pull away hastily and hiss in pain.
You giggled, and turned to face the physician. “How’s my head?” He looked down at his paperwork, nodding in approval. Noah moved off the bed so the doctor could come around and shine a light at your eyes for the hundredth time.
“Looks good. No bleeds, no fractures. You shouldn’t have any lasting side effects aside from some headaches for a few days.” You smiled and glanced at Noah, seeing the physical relief he breathed out.
“You need to follow up with a neurologist in one week, and you need to stay in bed for at least five days.”
You grunted in disapproval. “That sucks.”
He sucked his teeth. “I know, but it’s just a precaution. Do you live with someone? Parents? Roommate? Boyfriend?”
If Noah were a dog, his ears would have been perking at that last word.
You shook your head. “Just me.”
He shrugged. “I don’t like the idea of you being alone. Can you stay with someone until you can go to the neurologist?”
I sunk down. “Not really? I have a cat that needs to be looked after.”
“I can come stay with you.” Isobel spoke up from her side of the bed, and I smiled at her appreciatively.
“Okay, good. I think I can get you out of here, then. No blood thinners for a few days, just Tylenol for pain. You experience any odd symptoms or pain that’s unbearable, you come straight back, yes?”
You nodded, and he smiled.
“Great, I’ll put in for the discharge.”
You turned to look at her, reaching out for her to take your hand. “You didn’t have to do that, Iz.”
She smirked. “Someone has to.”
You laughed. “Yeah, I guess so.”
“Can we just stop by my place? I’ve got a couple things I need to do, it’ll take a couple hours, probably. Or I can drop you off and head back over?”
“She shouldn’t be alone, though, right?” Noah piped up from where he stood on the opposing side of the bed.
You sighed. “I’m so tired though. I want to go home and get in my sweats.”
He pursed his lips, mind working while looking at your face, before glancing back up to Isobel.
“Why don’t I take her home, and I can hang with her till you get there? That way you can do what you need to, but she can go home and get comfortable?”
Isobel eyed you, wanting to hear your thoughts on it before she answered. You just shrugged in response, and she slowly tore her eyes off of you to look back at Noah.
“Alright, but be careful driving her home.” She smiled in a patronizing fashion. “You can understand my hesitation after today.”
He clenched his jaw, knowing exactly what she meant, and looked back down at you. You felt your cheeks heat up under his gaze.
His eyes fell back to Iz, that sternness returning in his tone.
“I‘ll be careful.”
The drive back to your apartment was silent, the air hanging with uncertainty. The only sound above the whir of the motor was you giving directions to your place, and Noah humming his understanding.
It took until you were over halfway there for him to look at you, eyes looking sad.
“Feel like the morphine’s wearing off?”
You were rubbing at your temples, and you snorted. “How could you tell?”
He smirked. “I’m so sorry.”
You groaned. “Noah, if you apologize one more time, I’m going to slap you.”
He sucked his lips in and looked back out the windshield.
“It wasn’t your fault, it happens.”
His knuckles flexed on the steering wheel and he inhaled a long breath. "It's actually, technically, one hundred percent my fault." He admitted, gritting his teeth.
He pulled into the parking lot of your apartment complex, and his vehicle came to a stop just outside of your building.
"I don't suppose you live on the first floor?" He chanced, but you shook your head.
"Third." He looked like he was about to start stressing, but you smiled. "There's an elevator."
This made him relax back in his seat before he stepped out, moving quickly to your side and letting you out.
He carried your bag and sweater in his arms as you led up to the elevator, and down the hall to your small one-bedroom apartment. Once inside, your white, short-haired cat bound up to you both, meowing with fervor.
Noah looked down at her, and back up to you. You reached down and scooped up her small body with one hand, holding her to your chest.
"Noah, this is Narcissa."
He smiled, petting her head with one finger, which she accepted graciously.
"She's probably starving, I'd better feed her." Before you could move toward the kitchen, he put a hand on your arm.
"Let me. Where's her food?"
You pointed him in the right direction, taking the moment to head into your bedroom, kicking your shoes off and reaching for a t-shirt from the closet and a pair of shorts from the drawer of your long dresser. He appeared in the doorway right after you had slipped the shirt over your head, and he leaned against the frame.
"She's fed. Anything I can get you?"
You panned around the room, thinking for a moment. "I've got some chips and salsa in the kitchen. Chips in the pantry and salsa in the fridge. Want to grab it and meet me in the living room?"
He nodded, heading to complete his task. You padded over to the couch, dropping down onto the soft cushions, and pulled your sofa blanket over you. He joined you after a moment, setting the food on the coffee table, your phone next to it.
"Thought you'd want that."
He sat and watched the television as you flipped through Hulu, looking for something to watch. You could feel how uncomfortable he was, trying so hard to keep a wide distance from you, likely so as not to hurt you.
"Noah?"
He looked over, eyebrows raised. "Hmm?"
You made a show of relaxing back on the couch, and motioned for him to do the same. "Take a breath. I'm fine."
He tried, leaning back and exhaling loudly. "You okay with Evil Dead? It's one of my favorites."
"Sure. I've seen it a couple times."
You sat back, now munching on some chips, and offered him the bag. He grabbed some, crunching on them loudly.
The movie played, but you could feel how, as he finally did begin to relax, he was moving somewhat closer to you. It was fascinating. He wasn't doing it on purpose, it was almost as if he was a magnet, and you were the pole it attached to.
"Can I ask you a question?" He looked over at you, listening. "Why did you go dark?"
You could see he was baffled by the so off-topic ask, and he took a moment to gather his thoughts.
"Uh," He looked back at you. "A lot of reasons, really."
"Mm." You nodded, setting the chips back on the table. "Why did you go dark on me?"
This caught his complete attention, and his body turned to face you. "What?"
"You didn't even say bye or anything. You just...stopped coming online. And I had no way to reach out."
He furrowed his brow. "I'm a little surprised you wanted to, Cross."
"Why?"
He made a noise that sounded nearly annoyed. "Well, you never wanted to talk on a call. You never showed your face. You wouldn't even tell me your real name."
Guilt sunk in to your gut, reminding you that he was absolutely right.
"I just figured you weren't interested in maintaining the friendship beyond what it was, so I didn't think about it."
You nodded, understanding. There was nothing wrong with it, but it still sort of hurt your feelings.
"I get it. I was just curious."
"Why didn't you ever reach out?"
You opened your mouth to respond, but had to stop, because you realized...you didn't know. There wasn't a clear, concise reason why. Maybe you liked the idea of Noah being just an idea? A friend? Someone who didn't know you, and all that came with? Maybe it made it easier to feel safe talking to him?
He noticed you were uncomfortable with the conversation, and waved it off. "It doesn't matter now."
You had to agree with that. It wasn't going to change anything.
"Well, let's just watch the movie and you can rest."
You leaned back on the couch, and it wasn't lost on you that Noah was slowly scooting closer still, only now, you were pretty sure he was doing it on purpose. The room felt warm, and you adjusted under the blanket to kick a leg out, it being pressed against his. His eyes darted down to where you had touched him, and back up to your face. You kept your eyes straight ahead, smirking at the situation.
He leaned forward, pulling his beanie off and running his hand through his hair. "Is it warm in here?"
You smiled, just dropping your shoulders. He leaned back, and tried so desperately to smoothly slip an arm on the back of the couch, stretching at the same time.
He wasn't actually doing this, was he?
He was adorable, despite how absolutely ridiculous he was. He was nervous, and you knew that, but you worked overtime to hide your amusement, just shifting so you were pressed into his side.
His hand hesitated on the back of the couch, twitching as if he wanted to just wrap it around your shoulders, your head now resting on his chest.
You sighed loudly. "Noah, just put your arm around me."
"Yup." He gripped you, and adjusted to curl into him closer, leg falling over his. You giggled at him, and he pressed his face into the top of your head, embarrassed. "Clearly, I'm not good at this."
The movie played on, and at the scarier parts, you gripped his shirt tightly. You weren't very spooked, but it was what you did when snuggling on the couch with a cute boy, so you just went with it.
"Cross?" His voice was small, and you pressed in closer to hear him better.
"Hmm?"
"I really want to kiss you, but I'm kind of," He cleared his throat. "afraid?"
You scrunched up your nose and lifted your face to look at him. "Afraid?" His eyes were so big and doe-like, it pulled at something in your chest.
"Yeah, after all that's happened today? What if I miss and...I don't know...break your nose, or something?"
It took a second, but your face broke out in a large grin and you started laughing like a hyena. It was so absurd.
"What?!"
You had to take a breath, the ache in your head beginning to throb a little harder with your labored breathing. "I'm sorry!" You squeaked out, trying to contain yourself.
"Is it that hard to believe?"
You shook your head. "It's not." You could barely hold the giggles in. "That's why it's so funny."
He narrowed his eyes, pulling his arm from where it was wrapped around your back, but you pushed in closer, finally halting your laughing and looked at him.
"Noah," You lifted one hand to press your palm against his cheek. "if you want to kiss me, just do it."
His eyes flipped between both of yours, considering, before he leaned in and you closed your eyes.
Problem is, so did he...
His top teeth collided into yours making a harsh clacking sound, and causing you both to pull away hastily.
"God damn it!" His hand pressed into his gums, and he stared at you. "Are you okay?" You were laughing again, and he growled. "Maybe we should just not even try."
The tears in your eyes glistened, making him look glittery in your vision, and you just smiled brightly at him.
"Fucking hell, Noah."
You lifted yourself up, grabbing his face, and pressing your mouth to his, this time without incident. Your lips molded to his, and you felt him let out a breath he had been holding. His hands cautiously grabbed you, gently moving you to position so you straddled him, lips not disconnecting as he did.
Your hands gripped his hair, pulling his head back and exposing his neck. Your lips went to work laying featherlike kisses on the soft skin when you heard his voice.
"Uhm, Cross?" He was out of breath, and his chest was heaving. "We probably shouldn't do anything too crazy, on account of the concussion." His voice sounded unconvinced, but still, you pulled back, raising an eyebrow at him.
"My brain is fine. Now, let me have some fun, for fucking once."
His fingers dug into your sides, and your tongue was tracing his tattoos on the side of his throat.
"B-But, I really don't know if we should. The doctor said-"
You pulled back again, this time becoming annoyed. "The doctor said I needed to stay in bed. This counts."
"Okay, but, what if it makes it worse?"
You deflated a bit, hands falling down onto your lap. "Do you not want to do this?" Your voice had cracked just slightly, and you silently cursed yourself for it.
His eyes bulged, and he grabbed you harder. "No, I do! I really, really do. I just don't want to hurt you."
Even with the concern and empathy in his voice, you couldn't help but grind down onto his hips, noticing his pants were significantly tighter, and pull a moan straight out of his chest.
"You won't Noah. At least, not in a bad way." You wiggled your brows at him and gripped the sides of his neck.
He looked confused. "Is there a good way?" Incredulously, you dropped your forehead on his chest, his mind catching up a second later. "Oh! Oh right! Sorry, I don't know where my mind is right now."
You just kissed him again, tired of talking - or whatever that was - about it. Noah lifted his hips to push into you, which was the first thing he had done right all evening. You felt his erection beneath the layers of fabric between you, the friction delicious against your crotch. This time, he began placing soft kisses on your neck, barely touching the skin and teasing you.
His fingers loosened around your hips and wandered up to your shirt, slipping underneath and goosebumps rose on your skin where he touched. His hands found your breasts and took them in handfuls.
You couldn't help but giggle at the memory that flashed through your head, which caused him to look up at you.
"What?"
You smiled down at him. "Nothing, it's just that you grabbed my chest earlier when you tried to catch me. I was just thinking, I like this better."
He sighed, his head falling back. "I was hoping you hadn't noticed that."
You kissed him again, pressing back down on him, and regaining his attention.
"Noah?" His eyes looked at yours, his body now rhythmically pressing into you. "Fuck me? Please?"
You didn't mean to sound quite so needy, but it just came out that way. You were aching so bad for it, and you felt as if he didn't slip inside you soon, you may explode.
His eyes darkened, and he smiled back at you, his arms flexing around your waist and lifting you gently to lay you down on the couch. Hands making quick work of your shorts, pulling them off and staring at you. You may have forgotten to put panties on when you changed earlier, so he was marveling at the sight in front of him.
His tongue darted out to lick his lips before he pulled his own pants and boxers down, exposing his cock. You were impressed. Where Noah lacked grace and technique, he made up elsewhere. He slipped his hand into his pocket, fishing his wallet out. He located the condom quickly and applied it, giving himself a few long strokes as his free hand slid down your stomach, fingertips running through your folds for a second.
"You're sure it won't hurt you?" His mouth was hung open, and you rolled your eyes in response.
You reached your arms up, grabbing at him and pulling him down toward you. He fell forward with you, and his hand came down hard on the edge of the coffee table by mistake. He pulled it back, yelping.
"Fuck!" He shook out his hand, and you grabbed his face, forcing him to look at you.
"It's okay. Just look at me." Doing as he was told, his dick pressed against your entrance, nudging for approval.
You rocked your hips up, assisting him as he slipped partially inside of you. The stretch burned incredibly, your eyes rolling back with it.
"Oh, wow." Your words were just breaths, arms wrapping around his neck. "T-That's...wow."
Noah's hips pulled back before snapping forward, driving into you with force. Your body shook with the feeling, clenching down around him. His lips were pressing kisses into the skin on your jaw and collarbone, adding to the lovely sensation.
"Holy fuck, Noah." You lifted your legs to lock around his waist, pushing your hips up. "Harder."
He rammed your body into the cushions, the back of the couch smacking the wall loudly.
"J-Jesus. So good." His words were so quiet, you almost didn't hear. His face was buried in your neck, sweat forming in his hair. "You're so tight."
His whispers were pushing you off the edge. "Ugh, keep talking to me." Your hands gripped his hair, pulling at the roots.
"Fucking can't take it, it's so good. So perfect. So wet." He was railing you so hard, you felt as though you may cry from the sensation. "Just want to stay buried inside you all night, baby."
His words came out so softly, so soothingly that you let your body relax and let go, orgasm ready to tip.
That is, until...
"Ow..." It was almost silent. "Oww..." That was louder. "Ow! Ouch! Fuck!" He sat up suddenly, falling back on the couch.
You sat up, your head still spinning. "What's wrong?!" Your hands wandered over him, but he lifted his leg up on the couch, gripping his calf.
"Fucking leg cramp." His fingers pressed into the visibly tight muscle, and you fell backward, orgasm officially lost.
"I'm sorry!" He tried to reach for you, but you lifted your head, shooting him a warning glance. He pulled back, face turning a deep shade of red.
His cock, however, was stood at full attention still.
Rolling your tongue around in your mouth, you swung your legs off the couch and stood. You pointed to the cushions, and demanded him. "Lay down."
Without hesitation, he did as he was told, laying flat on his back, and stared at you longingly.
Wasting no time, you sat down, sliding onto him with ease now that you'd had a chance to adjust. The angle made you feel so full, so satiated. You let out a long, comfortable moan.
His hands grabbed you, and you began to rock back and forth, begging to chase that lost climax. He peered up at you through half-masked lids, fingers gripping your thighs now.
"Is that better, baby?" You nodded, fingernails scratching down his chest. "Going to come this way? Make a mess all over me?"
Just like Noah was on stage, when he was fucking, he liked to be in control. He was good at it, too.
You nodded, pressing your clit into the skin of his pubic bone. The friction combined with the pressure he was putting on that spot inside you had your thrusts more erratic.
"Can't last like this, honey. You're going to make me come if you keep riding me so fucking good."
His hips were rocking up into you, finding the wave you were riding and helping it wash over you.
"Noah..." You whimpered, hands digging into the skin of his sides. "I'm going to come."
"Yeah, baby, come for me."
His voice, so deep, raspy, sultry, shoved you over that edge, your body slowing down and spasming around him. His hips only had to buck up two more times before he was groaning, leaving fingerprint bruises in your thighs.
You both stayed still, breathing heavily, staring at each other. A grin creeped up onto your face slowly, a matching expression on his.
Both lost in your own universe, neither of you had heard the front door unlocking...
"Hey! I got finished quicker than I expected, so I-"
Both of your heads whipped to the front door, where Isobel had stepped in, duffel bag on her arm and food bags in the other.
"Jesus fucking Christ!" She turn around, covering her eyes with her hand. "What the fuck!"
You and Noah promptly jumped together, scrambling to right yourselves. He pulled at his pants that were still wrapped around his ankles, and you grabbed the blanket from the couch. He sat upright on the sofa, and you pressed against him, pulling the blanket over yourself.
Mortified, you both waited for her to turn around, which she did, eventually.
"Sorry about that, Iz." You said as you interlaced your fingers with Noah's, who was using his other hand to fully cover his face in humiliation.
"Not what I was expecting to see today!" She squealed, walking past the couch toward the kitchen. "I have food, you fucking pervs."
Once she had left the living room, you and Noah looked up at each other, both blushing furiously at having been caught in the act.
Even with the added mishap, you both broke out into large, shining smiles, laughing at the situation.
What a fucking doofus.
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scrubbinn · 6 months ago
Text
Slime HRT Day 1: First Pages
I was told I should write down my experiences in this journal. I'm only really doing this because I was told I didn't have to share my writings with anyone except for emergencies, whatever that means. Today is the first day of my new life, and becoming something not human anymore.
I've seen a lot of social media about species HRT. I think it’s supposed to be “Human Removal Therapy”. There’s a lot of people online bashing it, and I'm sure someone is going to try and ban it eventually, but for right now it's pretty unrestricted. To be honest, I am fascinated by it. Becoming something inhuman seemed so, I don't know, cool I guess, but it felt distant, like it would never happen to me, or I'd be labeled a freak by my friends. It was only until my girlfriend brought it up in a passing conversation that I gained the courage to admit I was curious about it. She said I should go for it. The amount of joy I felt then and there was like a 20 ton weight had just exploded out of my chest, but in a good way! We spent the rest of the night talking about treatments and articles, I never felt so happy except then and there, to be seen like that.
My legs were shaking when I met with that doctor. I was told it was normal to be nervous, but it really felt like I was going to just have a breakdown the entire time we talked. There was a lot of psychological exams and way, WAY too much paperwork that basically said I was sure I would be happy and cool with going through with this process. The doctor was patient at least, though he was rude with how little he tried to hide the boredom of his job. Besides that, there was something about him that just made him feel like this was the last thing he wanted to do, the kind of man who’s a total pushover. We eventually got to the question I was dreading “what was I here for, what am I looking to be?” My voice just suddenly stop working right there. It's so funny how I saw an actual dragon on my way here and somehow my request seemed so much more ridiculous. That stupid doctor kept prying me to just tell him until my frustration surpassed my anxiety, and I was able to blurt out that I wanted to be a slime.
I don't know when or why, but I've always liked the idea of slimes. It's their fluidity I think. Being able to morph myself the way I want whenever I want. I mean, how can I trust I'll be happy with my body shape everyday when I can't even pick a favorite color. I spent so much time writing out my own ideas of how their biology worked, or creating a bunch of slime girls for stories I never finished writing. It took me a while to realize I wanted to be just like them, like how it took me a while to realize I wanted to be a girl too.
I thought I'd get laughed out of his office, I mean I've seen the photos and stories of people on slime HRT but it just felt different, like I was going one step too far, I was probably just super anxious, I felt so relieved when he just showed me a list of slime variants instead of laughing. There were so many different options on the list, slimes made of just gel, sap, wax, and there were so many different colors, but that was the problem, they all felt right, I wanted to be any of them.
It was so selfish to ask, but I needed to know if a slime that could change color was possible, or something that could truly transform into any kind of slime. He asked what I meant, if I was looking into becoming a shapeshifter. I shook my head no and said I wanted something like a chameleon. He took off his glasses and pinched his nose, like the weight of every request he ever had just hit him. We, kind of, argued for a while. Well it was him telling me all the different reasons it wouldn’t work or how some people had set up safe LED strips to become a slime strobe globe of different colors, but for some reason it was the one thing I didn’t want to budge on. The one thing I was certain I wanted was that I wouldn’t be certain about my final choice. I was actually ready to just punch this old man until he suddenly folded to my demands and told me he'd need time to make a new variant for something like that. Something about a membrane and chromatophores I think. He also stated, bluntly, that I still needed to pick the type of slime. Being able to switch from red to blue is one thing but there needs to be a base. 
There were a lot of good options, to the point it took me an hour to go through everything and just think about it. I was probably pushing him a bit too close to his next appointment with how long I was searching through options. It certainly makes me wonder how anyone can just know the answer right away. Eventually I had to settle on one and chose the soap variant. I was told it wasn’t actual soap, but it smelled nice and helped deal with germs. I’m not a germaphobe but I like the idea of smelling nice all the time.
After that, I was told I would be contacted eventually when my medication was ready. The wait could be best be described as brutal. There were a lot of calls I made only for me to be told it wasn’t ready yet. I thought I got scammed, like I went to the wrong place and that quack doctor was just faking everything and I wouldn't ever get to be the real me. The most I got was a message once a month saying the research was going well, if I was lucky. 
It was about a year when I got a call back from him, explaining that my medication was ready. I'll be honest, I thought he wouldn't have ever completed it and just stole $600 out of my bank account for a single appointment. I have it now though, a bottle of gel capsules. They taste awful, like shoving soap into my mouth, which makes sense thinking about it. Apparently I won't need to take my normal hormone medication after a bit. Which is good because it's really expensive to pay for both. I guess that concludes my thoughts on the first day. The doc wants me to keep writing down my physical changes but also that I write down my emotional state as well. I don't really get why that’s so important, but whatever, it’s the least I can do if I finally get to be the slime girl I always wanted to be. I can't wait to see how I turn out.
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Next
Thank you for reading through this story. While I’m sure it’s obvious, this is a story inspired by @ayviedoesthings own Dragon HRT as well as @welldrawnfish Fish HRT. I’ve loved these stories ever since they first came out. But I never felt like I had a story of my own to write until I read @sandyca5tle own slime HRT. Please check out all these people’s stories if you haven’t already, and thank you to sandyca5tle for really lighting the fire in me that made me want to try my hand at this sort of thing. I have plans to continue this for a while, not sure how long it’ll be but I want to be able to write a new segment at least one post every one to two weeks. I hope you enjoyed this, and please let me know if you have any advice on how to improve my writing. Thank you so much for reading all this, seriously, it means the world to me. 
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beggars-opera · 11 months ago
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Hey, can we move our advice about kids on the internet into the 21st century please?
I 100% agree that we should all be as private as humanly possible online, but I also know that I do not follow my own advice, nor does anyone else, including you, probably. Yes, many of us were raised in a time in which the internet could be completely anonymous, but that was in the era before social media. Facebook, Instagram, etc. started as tools to interact with people already in your social circle, which is why personal information is used on them, but they've evolved since then for better or worse, and we need to acknowledge that. Simply telling teenagers that they have to operate under an avatar at all times like we're on a 2002 message board and that they are brainwashed idiots if they don't isn't helping anyone.
If I was giving someone real life advice, it would be this:
If you are a minor, know that there are predators out there who are more than willing to interact with you, so honestly, sincerely, do consider being as anonymous as possible. That means not using your full, or even your real name (this is the perfect time to use the name you always wished you had, mine was Morgan after Morgan le Fay), and putting things on private as much as possible so only people you know, or those you can vet, can interact with you.
If you do choose to show your face, know that this comes with risk and buffering that with other things (like using a pseudonym or never tagging your exact location). This can go a long way to protecting yourself. If you're just posting aesthetic images, sure, make your IG public, but if you're documenting your every move maybe stick with friends only for now.
Even if you are not a minor, creeps will still find you. Again, assumption of risk. Either way, though, the block feature is your friend.
If you're being open online because you're really dead set on being an influencer, know that is going to come with a whole world of pain all its own assuming it actually pans out, so it's probably not worth it. Also you probably won't make it as an influencer, hon, I'm so sorry but statistically it's true.
If you're posting certain things traceable to you this could also bite you later at work, or for prospective employers.
When interacting with strangers online, always assume that people are hiding SOMETHING. That isn't always a malicious thing - they could also be protecting themselves! But don't take everything they say at face value. Online personas are always acting of a sort.
If you find yourself becoming friendly enough with someone that you want to meet them in person, take stock of how much you know about them. Do they post photos of themselves frequently enough that you can tell they are who they say they are? Are they willing to video chat with you before meeting irl? Are they willing to meet with you in a neutral, public location or with a group of friends, or do they act sketchy about that?
To the above point, meet people for the first time in a neutral, public location, preferably with a group of friends, just in case. Look, I've broken this rule myself and even though nothing happened, I still kick myself for it.
Trust your gut. You are the creator and the curator of your own online existence, so do what makes you feel safe.
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leclerc-s · 8 months ago
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track 001. right where you left me
─── ❝ break-ups happen every day, you don't have to lose it ❞ ───
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series masterlist // next
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liked by louis_graham, isabellaperez, babs.rodriguez and others
dulceperez it's hell week and i'm struggling to cope
view all comments
isabellaperez never have i ever been more grateful for online school
↳ dulceperez we get it you travel for funsies and i get stuck with crippling student dept.
↳ isabellaperez what fucking debt? tio checo said he'd pay for your schooling!
↳ dulceperez alright then, i get the crippling student anxiety.
maejones you got this baby!
↳ dulceperez i really don’t! tell max to send the red bull i’m going to need it, i know you two are still besties!!
↳ maxverstappen1 did checo cut you off again?
↳ dulceperez YES!! SEND HELP!! SOS!!
louis_graham still can’t get over the fact that you know f1 drivers.
↳ dulceperez my uncle is an f1 driver?
↳ babs.rodriguez forget it lou, she won’t understand. she probably grew up around michael schumacher or something.
↳ isabellaperez well, you’re not wrong
mickschumacher if you die can i keep your couch?
↳ dulceperez what the fuck schumacher?
↳ mickschumacher it’s a very comfortable couch.
↳ freyavettel he’s right, it’s very comfortable. i’ve had some great fucking naps on it.
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louis graham so the f1 drivers in your comments are just normal?
dulce perez pretty much, yeah
dulce perez we live in monaco, you're telling me you've never ran into like lewis or charles? hell nico lives in monaco.
barbara rodriguez never. louis graham nope.
dulce perez huh, it's not like monaco's that big. i run into my ex all the time. granted he's like best friends with my sister.
barbara rodriguez who the fuck is your ex? and why is your sister best friends with him? dulce perez because she can be? i'm not going to tell her "oh no isa, you can't be friends with arthur because we broke up." dulce perez they were friends way before we dated.
louis graham so his name is arthur? interesting, one look at your sister's instagram tells me that you dated the one and only arthur leclerc.
barbara rodriguez a leclerc? you dated a leclerc? and you let him get away?
dulce perez look, he was busy with racing and i was busy with school. it wasn't going to work out between us so we just broke up.
louis graham interesting how you two still follow each other.
dulce perez we're still friends. that wasn't going to change because we dated.
barbara rodriguez 9 times out of 10, people fall in love all over again.
dulce perez not me. i won't.
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dulceperez posted new stories
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low quality picture, high quality girl or some fucking corny shit like that. who the fuck gave this guy alcohol?
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arthur leclerc does she have a boyfriend? who is he?
mae jones what is this nerd going on about?
isabella perez is this about my sister?
arthur leclerc forget i asked. isabella perez so it is about my sister.
mick schumacher is this about the guy on her story?
isabella perez that's just louis. one of her roomates. remember arthur? they became friends when she started school. arthur leclerc oh. yes. i remember.
freya vettel oh he's totally still in love with her.
lando norris honestly arthur just tell her. get it over with.
bailey winters i doubt you should be giving people advice.
lando norris oh seriously! we get it, i fucked up! isabella perez oh you royally fucked up norris.
lando norris oh be quiet isabella, how many times have you broken up with austin by now?
isabella perez my relationship has nothing to do with this! focus on arthur and my sister!
mick schumacher i can't believe i'm saying this, but how are freya and i the only ones that are mentally healthy??
isabella perez because arthur is stupid. mae is in denial about her feelings. i'm codependent. lando is a dumbass. bailey is collateral damage to lando's dumbassery. AND YOU'RE IN FUCKING DENIAL!! SO IS FREYA!!
freya vettel wow. can't wait for the day all of you are mentally healthy and in healthy relationships.
mae jones at this rate isabella's doomed to divorcing and remarrying austin like 7 times. isabella perez literally fuck you. stop writing songs about max!
bailey winters you're all insane.
arthur leclerc you are too bailey.
mae jones don't worry arthur. i know how to figure out if you'll be seeing her soon arthur leclerc oh no. that's not good.
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mae jones odds of seeing dulce at the monaco gp this year?
dulce perez that depends am i allowed to take my emotional support idiots? isabella perez i thought i was your emotional support idiot? max verstappen ooh she's been replaced.
esteban ocon i think we're better off asking what are the odds charles finishes the race.
charles leclerc this is why you've never won a race bitch.
daniel ricciardo who the fuck are her emotional support idiots?
dulce perez my roomates
lando norris BOOO!! WE'RE YOUR EMOTIONAL SUPPORT IDIOTS!!
lewis hamilton you may be an idiot but i am not.
mae jones we're her emotional support chaos gremlins natalia ruiz that makes more sense.
max verstappen you should ask checo if you can bring your friends, not us.
dulce perez i did. he said yes. see all of you back in monaco. dulce perez i just have to ask them.
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dulce perez thoughts on attending the monaco grand prix?
barbara rodriguez on my bucket list but currently too broke.
louis graham also on my bucket list but without means of going.
dulce perez i feel like we're forgetting that my uncle is literally an f1 driver??
louis graham SHUT THE FUCK UP!! TELL ME YOU DIDN'T?!! barbara rodriguez NO FUCKING WAY!! I KNEW GOING TO SCHOOL IN MONACO WOULD PAY OFF!!
dulce perez wow. way to use me.
louis graham listen, we love you. you're great. but attending the monaco grand prix is such a dream.
barbara rodriguez I GET TO MEET SIR LEWIS HAMILTON!! YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH THIS MEANS TO ME!!
dulce perez we're going to support red bull not mercedes.
barbara rodriguez yeah but red bull doesn't have lewis hamilton does it?
louis graham personally, i will be supporting aston martin. wherever sebastian vettel is that is where i am.
dulce perez traitors both of you.
barbara rodriguez ARTHUR IS LITERALLY A FERRARI ACADEMY DRIVER! SHUT UP! YOU'RE THE BIGGEST TRAITOR OF ALL!!
dulce perez WHO THE FUCK TOLD YOU THAT?
louis graham we went stalker mode. we had to find out everything about leclerc.
barbara rodriguez he's a cutie. why the hell did you dump him?
dulce perez we are not talking about this.
louis graham BOOO!! AS THE CHILDREN SAY, SPILL THE TEA SIS!!
dulce perez no!
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babs.rodriguez, louis_graham, dulceperez posted new stories
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who let me be here?? where is lewis hamilton??
holy shit!!
VAMOS TIO CHECO!!
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pierre gasly soo...dulce
dulce perez before you ask no. pierre gasly like not even a little bit?
rowan todd why must you ask this, you idiot?
pierre gasly i'm an instigator
dulce perez the answer is no because he has a girlfriend, you moron.
charles leclerc but if he didn't have a girlfriend?
dulce perez you too?
charles leclerc ANSWER THE QUESTION PEREZ!
dulce perez no. not my type.
isabella perez ARTHUR! WHO WAS THE CUTE GUY ON THE PODIUM?! THE PREMA GUY!!
max verstappen SHE'S GOT A CRUSH! arthur leclerc oscar? isabella perez brb gonna go stalk his instagram.
freya vettel anyone is better than a*stin
arthur leclerc trust me when i say he's 100 times better than that guy.
mae jones WAIT! WHO'S YOUR TYPE DULCE??!
natalia ruiz perhaps monégasque? rhymes with shmarthur? dulce perez you people are insufferable. daniel ricciardo THAT WASN'T A NO!
mick schumacher arthur just probably let out the biggest sigh of his life.
arthur leclerc at least i'm not in denial about my feelings. mick schumacher HEY! WE'RE NOT TALKING ABOUT ME! AND YOU SHUT YOUR MOUTH LECLERC!!
sebastian vettel i should consider retirement. that would mean i wouldn't have to deal with this.
fernando alonso i retired and they didn't let me leave. there is no hope for us.
lewis hamilton i told you that your biggest mistake would be showing weakness to max.
max verstappen YOU'RE THE ONE WHO COMFORTED ME FIRST! NOT SEB! lewis hamilton oh sure, i was just supposed to leave a kid out, crying in the rain because his girlfriend had just broken up with him? mae jones sorry, what?
daphne jones idiots, all of you
esteban ocon how's that hidden relationship going for you daphne? daniel ricciardo it's not our fault they haven't figured it out yet, now is it? lewis hamilton and i'm currently in the lead to win this bet so zip it ocon.
isabella perez GUYS! CUTE PREMA GUY IS SINGLE!!
lance stroll at least one thing is still normal around here.
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¡leclerc-s speaks! and thus it begins! okay, listen, i love ross, for story purposes he younger than he actually is. idc what anyone says. i don't if i like this 100% but i'm still posting it.
¡disclaimer! this is in no way making assumptions about the people involved in this story, this is all fake. it is a fanfiction please don't take any of what is said seriously. this is all for entertainment purposes and as a creative outlet for me. enjoy!
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johannestevans · 4 months ago
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like there's so many things you can ask yourself when looking at something that you've cooked or that you're eating.
do i like all the tastes here? do i like all the textures? do i wish there was more or less variety in the textures, or different mouth feels? do the flavours on my plate or in my mouth feel balanced? do i enjoy the contrast between different things in my meal, or appreciate that my soup has a good, defined, texture?
are the flavours strong, or are they subtle? are they soothing? do i feel like i'm concentrating a lot on my food, or is this food something easy and enjoyable to eat whilst concentrating on something else?
after eating my meal, do i feel full? do i feel nourished? does it feel like i've eaten a good amount of vegetables and appropriate amounts of salt and hydration? are there enough amounts of sugars, fats, and oils in this food?
are there any things in this meal that i need to be careful about eating or eating too much of, such as foods that are high in histamines, foods that i might be mildly allergic to or intolerant of, or just things that i don't digest very well in certain quantities?
does this meal feel light or heavy? do i feel full after eating it? does eating this meal cool me down when it's hot, or warm me up when it's chilly? does it clear my sinuses or soothe my sore throat? is it nice and easy to digest? does it have a lot of fibre to help my bowel be regular?
are the ingredients for this meal cheap? are they ingredients i cook with often, or are they rare uses for me? would i like to make more meals like this with these ingredients, or would I like to branch out and change it up? are the ingredients for this meal easy to get, or do i have to schlep out to some specialty place or order them online? do the ingredients go off fast?
is this a meal that lets me use up loads of stuff that's about to go off? is this a meal that's good to keep in the back pocket for when i'm wary of a bunch of expiration dates looming, or when i need to use a bunch of canned food?
is this meal easy to make in one pan, or does it require a lot of pans? is it a meal i can make pretty quickly, or in just one small corner of the kitchen, or does it require me to spread out and take up more space and time? does this meal require preparatory stages, such as marination or letting dough rise, hours or days before the main meal is made?
is this a meal that is fun and satisfying to cook for just myself, or is it one that i would normally put together with friends or family? is this a meal that i would cook performatively at a dinner party, one that is fun to see being cooked, baked, or being put together?
is it very different to the meal i had earlier today, or yesterday, or will have tomorrow? is it a meal that i enjoy eating the leftovers of, or that the leftovers will be easy to transform into another dish? is it easy to store? is it easy to freeze? is it easy to batch cook?
is it easy to cook and share to a bunch of friends? Is it a good and easy meal to have as a packed lunch, or to bring along on a picnic? is it a good food to serve at an event where people will be picking at food between activities? is this a meal i would like to have at a birthday or another party?
is this a meal which is easy to make when i am sick? is this a meal that would feel really nourishing through the grieving process, that would be good to bring to someone sitting shiva, or to a wake?
these are all great things to think about when looking at the meals you eat and what goes into them. these are all great questions to ask yourself
these questions are all infinitely more valuable and useful than such a ridiculous question as "how many calories are in this meal", a question which is absolutely fucking meaningless and tells you nothing about what that meal is actually doing for your body or your mind
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anotherstudtouse · 3 months ago
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What Are Friends For?
CHAPTER 1
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SUMMARY: When your coworker, Lex Foster, asks you to pretend to be her girlfriend, you agree against your better judgement.
WARNINGS: None that I can think of?
Toy Zone -- As many complaints as you have about the place and its owner, it was one of the only places hiring seven months ago when you desperately needed some extra cash to help pay for the online classes you were taking. It wasn't much -- and still isn't -- but it's enough to get by. Sure, there are other (arguably better) places hiring now. Sure, your boss, Frank, can be a bit of a jerk at times.
     You've definitely thought about applying elsewhere a couple times, but the urge is always squashed not long after starting another shift. You can't imagine working somewhere else and no longer seeing Lex as much as you've grown accustomed to. If you could go back in time and tell your past self that Lex Foster, of all people, means as much to you as she now does, your past self would've checked you for a head injury or several. Although the two of you had attended the same high school (until she dropped out), the circles you'd each ran in had never intersected. As she affectionately teases you now, you've always been a bit of a nerdy prude.
     Seven months into your job at Toy Zone, though, you've grown to really know -- and really like -- Lex. You love her dry humor, strong heart, and love for her sister. You love the way you can see her lock eyes with you over Frank's shoulder as he rambles on about the newest toy that's sure to fly off the shelves if you could just stock them faster, rolling her eyes before launching into a ridiculous imitation of him that you have to bite your lip not to smile at. You love the way she always waits for you to take your breaks together so that you can stand out back with her as she smokes, always making sure to blow it out away from you. You love the way her eyes light up when she talks about her sister, you love the way she cares so much about things even if she tries so hard to act like she doesn't, you love how strong she is, you--
     You need to focus, and you definitely need to stop thinking about your coworker and friend so much, because the more you think about her, the more you realize your feelings are becoming more than simply platonic, which is a problem. It's a problem not only because Lex only just broke up with her boyfriend a month ago, but also because she's, as far as you know, straight. The risk of ruining this friendship you've grown to cherish is just too high. Besides, it would make working here too awkward when she inevitably rejects you, and then you really would have to look for another job.
     "Come here often?" a playful voice sounds off behind you, the only warning you have before the owner of it is sliding between the stack of 'Sugar-Gliders' toys beside you and yourself. There's not a lot of space, however, so as Lex leans her shoulder against the shelf, you can feel her Toy Zone vest brush against your arm.
     You glance at her as you finish straightening some of the boxes in front of you, an amused smile spreading across your face. "Considering I'm here almost every day, you'd think I would've made an impression by now. Now my ego's bruised."
     "I'll kiss it better if you go on break with me now." The comment is an obvious joke, delivered as offhandedly as the multiple other flirtatious comments Lex has made toward you in the past couple months. Even if she doesn't mean it, it momentarily makes it harder for you to breathe nonetheless.
     You laugh it off, trying to ignore the warmth you can feel in the tips of your ears. Picking up another box, you mull over her request. "I should finish stocking these first or Frank'll chew me out."
     Even as you speak, she's plucking the box out of your hand before placing it back on the stack. "I'll tell him I made you do it; he already thinks I'm a bad influence on you."
     "And you don't?" You raise your brows at her, your gaze lowering pointedly at the box she'd literally just taken out of your hand.
     She scoffs, her hand flying to her heart. "You wound me, Y/N. Now I'm the one whose ego needs kissing."
     Shaking your head, you step back out of her space. All this talk of kissing, joking or not, is making the close proximity way too overwhelming. Maybe a break would be a good idea after all. "Come on before I change my mind, drama queen."
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     As you lean back against the wall out back, Lex doing the same a few feet away with a lit cigarette between her fingers, you can tell there's something on the shorter girl's mind. She's been unusually quiet, and you can see her glancing at you every few seconds out of the corner of your eye. You click the side of your phone, turning the screen dark as you slip it back into your pocket. "You okay?"
     She almost seems startled when you speak, apparently not realizing how obvious she's been. "Oh, yeah, yeah. Just -- I've got this favor I gotta ask, and I'm trying to figure out how to ask it."
     Well, now you're really curious. Lex has never asked you for anything other than occasionally covering a shift for her before. You turn to face her, leaning your shoulder against the wall. "People usually start by saying what the favor is," you joke in an effort to lighten the mood. It seems to work, the corners of Lex's lips quirking upward as she mirrors your movement and turns to face you.
     "Okay, smartass." There's a pause as she takes a hit of her cigarette, the movement drawing your eyes to her mouth. You swallow, gaze quickly returning to her eyes. She doesn't seem to notice. "I need a girlfriend."
     What the fuck? You didn't hear that right. You couldn't have. Your lips part but no words come out for a second, then two, then three. Then, "I-- And that's-- Huh?"
     Apparently your stammering has put her at ease or something because she's chuckling now, taking another hit of her cigarette, and Jesus Christ does she have to be so hot when she smokes?
     "Relax, Y/N. I know you're not into girls; I'm not really asking you out. It's just -- You remember Ethan, right?" There's another pause to take another hit, as if she's giving you time to remember him, as if you could forget the guy you'd been jealous of for months leading up to their break-up. "He keeps trying to get back together. He thinks if he just keeps trying, I'll come back to him eventually or something. I just thought maybe if he sees I've moved on, he'll give up."
     Okay, so there's a lot to unpack there. You don't know where she got the idea that you're not into girls, but considering the one relationship you had in high school was a secret one with a girl deeply in the closet, you suppose you can't fault her for the assumption. You try -- and fail -- not to feel disappointed at the explanation that Lex isn't actually, truly asking you out for real.
     She looks a little anxious again, watching you, waiting for your reaction. You know you should say no. This could really only end one of two ways, after all -- Either it ends in a fake break-up and you have to learn to live with the knowledge of how it feels to be loved by Lex but without the reality of it, or it ends with your real friendship becoming too awkward and loaded to survive.
     But if you say no... If you say no, this guy keeps bothering her. If you say no, maybe she asks someone else, and as wrong as it would be for you to say yes, you don't want her to ask someone else.
     "... Okay," you finally answer with a resolute nod.
     "You totally don't have to," she's quick to reassure, dropping her cigarette and stomping it out before stepping closer to you. Despite her reassurances, she looks relieved with your answer. "I can ask someone else; I just-- I dunno, I don't really trust anyone else."
     You give her a smile that you hope is just as reassuring to her as her words are to you, trying to ignore the way your heartbeat has begun to pick up speed. This is a bad idea. This is a bad idea. But it's for a good cause, right? That's why you're saying yes. No other reason. "Lex, it's fine. I'm happy to do it."
     "Thank God." Another step closer brings her into your space, and before you know it, she's tugging you into a hug. You can smell the cigarette smoke sticking to her leather jacket coupled with the faint scent of the forest. It's got to be some kind of cologne or something, you think. The forest scent, not the cigarette smoke. "I really didn't want to have to ask someone else."
     With one of Lex's arms firm around your waist and the other wrapped around your shoulders, you relax into her embrace and return it. Hopefully she can't feel the pounding of your heart against your chest as you reply, "Of course. What are friends for?"
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midnightbears · 7 months ago
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✿ tell 'em how the crowds went wild! tell 'em how i hope they shine!
⎯ in which you look back on how grateful you are for the opportunity bestowed upon you. aka: you joined the opla's cast!
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#STARRING. iñaki godoy, mackenyu, jacob romero, taz skylar, emily rudd ft. fem!reader [elle fanning 4 faceclaim but u can imagine y/n anyway u wish!].
#TAGS. sfw, kind of context, a bit of smau but its tiny. mentions of covid just in case it's triggering?
#NOTE. pardon my rusty writing but i really wanted to get this out!!! i added an oc from one piece for the sake of the story but she's barely mentioned so uuuh yuh! timeline may be wrong but i work with what i'm given please bear with me. let me know if you would like more fics of this y/n??? ALSO IGNORE THE WATERMARKS ON THE PHOTOS I NEEDED TO MAKE THEM NEATER
© midnightbears on tumblr, apr 2024. please do not repost to another platform, plagiarize, translate, use for AI-related purposes or claim as your own.
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In the past, if someone were to come up to you and tell you that you’d be a part of the One Piece Live Action main cast in the future, you would’ve probably laughed in their faces despite your wishful thinking.
At that time, you were content with your work, doing short theatre plays with companies or gaining minor roles in musicals. Everything changed when you landed the role for the one-woman show Fleabag for a limited time on London’s West End after the leading actress underwent emergency surgery for an appendectomy. You only acted as the sex-obsessed mess of a woman for about three weeks, but it was enough time for people to notice you, to really see you.
You believed your career had reached its pinnacle when you were cast as Katherine Howard in Six: The Musical in London. Your name had become somehow well-known in the musical theatre world, and you had a small but dedicated fan base who liked uploading edits of you being a dork during the Megasix on YouTube and TikTok. 
Months later, you were bound to play as Fantine for Les Miserables when COVID abruptly struck, and you were dismayed that your job was ripped from you so abruptly. Your best friend, the sweetest person on earth, insisted on you moving in with her in fear that you’d be evicted from your apartment.
Months passed, and you eventually found a small way to help your friend pay rent by offering singing and acting lessons online to musical-aspiring teenagers. Since you had gained many followers from your earlier work on social media, it didn’t surprise you when the classes became sold out.
Your friend also convinced you to create a YouTube channel for you to upload videos of yourself (sometimes joined by her) where you watched and commented shitty movies, followed DIY tutorials just for the fun of it, performed covers of your favorite songs, and just generally vlogged your life (along with reactions to Taylor Swift’s (From The Vault) songs).
At first, you thought it was pretty stupid, but you were delightfully proved wrong when your videos harbored over 200k-300k views on a bad day, so you found no reason to stop as COVID-19 continued, growing to gain a little over five hundred thousand followers. Your reactions were often used for TikTok audios or clips, so you found your popularity growing and evolving during that year.
You believed yourself to be a general, simple woman. People liked you because you were elegant and levelheaded, although you could sometimes be chaotic. You also had a subtle sense of humor that many found charming. But mostly, you grew a steady fan base because your videos and presence comforted countless young adults and teenagers.
You were an optimist and a reassuring one, so during the times when COVID was so prominent, people sought refuge from the monstrosities of the world in your videos, where you seemed to connect with them even though you were on the other side of the screen.
However, everything changed somewhere in 2020-2021. That evening, your best friend got home from work with excitement practically oozing out of her every pore. You and your best friend were avid anime watchers and manga readers, so you couldn’t help the face you made when she told you that One Piece was getting a live-action.
Although you were skeptical, your friend practically insisted you send an audition tape. You grimaced at that. It was well-known that live anime actions were almost always corny and cringeworthy compared to the original work, and people never liked them. You had learned that much from Death Note and a couple of others. However, your best friend convinced you with this argument:
“If it’s that bad, then at least you’ll gain more followers out of the memes that people will make, and if it’s good, you’ll still get famous anyway!”
Eventually, you sent a video of you performing one of the lengthy monologues from Fleabag to your agency and simply hoped for the best. Your friend was practically rooting for you to get the role of Anastasia, one of the first integrants of the Straw Hat crew, joining before Sanji and after Usopp. You adored her as she greatly reminded you of your late mother, although you would be happy with any role.
Somewhere in November 2021, you remember a lot of screaming and crying. When you try to look back on it, all you remember is the happiness you felt when you received confirmation of the role of Anastasia. You were practically over the moon, and you and your friend celebrated inside your small apartment. You were entirely alone, just two drunk girls dancing and cheering, until one of the neighbors knocked on the ceiling with a broom.
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yourusername actually lost for words and filled to the brim with gratitude...... i cannot express how excited i am to play my girl anastasia and bring her to life. from the bottom of my heart, thank you to everyone who has supported me. your faith in me means everything. congrats to iñaki, emily, jacob, mackenyu and taz, thank you to onepiecenetflix, thank you to my best friend for convincing me to audition for the role, and thank you, oda sensei, for putting anastasia's heart in my hands. love u all <3
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November 10, 2021
y/nsfanclub.02, AAAAAAAA SO EXCITED FOR THIS I ACTUALLY CANT BELIEVE IT
⤷ starl6ighwnb, LIKE FR IM GNAWING AT THE BARS OF MY ENCLOSURE THIS IS INSANE
user8392y3r927y, HELLO YOUR GRACE ANASTASIA
inakigo, Congrats!!!!!!!!
taz_skylar, 🔥🔥🔥
The One Piece fan base dearly loved the character of Anastasia, a well-mannered, bubbly, upbeat, fashion-loving duchess who always spoke in a Transatlantic accent but also had a quick wit and a bit of a sweet tooth. Anastasia’s dream was to become the most dangerous pirate to ever grace the seas and prove everyone who doubted her wrong.
Of course, with a big character came a big responsibility.
Sometimes, insecurity nearly got the better of you. You had to fill huge shoes, and there were many people to convince and impress. However, your love for this project was bigger than the gnawing uncertainty on the back of your neck, so you continued strongly until the end of Season One, finding comfort in your cast mates and the countless people who counted on you and, most importantly, believed in you.
Oda handpicked you, and that argument alone was enough to shoot any insecurities away.
Well, needless to say, people loved you!
Critics acclaimed your portrayal of the character, as well as the commendable chemistry you shared with the rest of the cast. The fans found it incredibly funny that your character was the complete opposite of how you actually acted in real life, and you often found yourself blissfully immersed in the fan base's love and praise.
Your channel and social media suddenly grew tenfold. Although you had stopped uploading videos every week due to the recording of season one, your followers were more than happy to wait for your return, and as one would expect, they were thrilled to have you back once you did upload a vlog explaining everything.
Over the course of the six months, you had been recording from time to time for a YouTube video in the set. Previously, you had asked the producers for permission to record some behind-the-scenes for your channel and your usual interactions with the rest of the cast with your personal Sony camera, as you felt it would be a nice way to bring the fans and the cast closer.
The producers gave the okay on the condition that you would wait until the first season aired on Netflix. You happily agreed and carefully began recording some scenes of your dressers and hairdressers as they prepared you, a few shots of your instructor showing you how you were supposed to use the guns that Anastasia employed... simple things.
Back in the day, you were still getting acquainted with the other cast members, and you didn't want to seem rude by forcibly making them appear on your videos, so you waited for a few weeks until you could properly call yourself companions. Then, you invited them to appear in the videos.
Iñaki, Taz, and Jacob liked to take advantage of the little free time they had between scenes they didn't appear in to innocently steal your camera and use it to their heart's content. One day, you got home only to find the memory card was completely full. It was an extensive video of them walking around the set, with Taz recording while Kiki and Jacob pointed out random stuff to the people who lived inside your camera, as Jacob liked to call them.
Mackenyu, being more reserved and introverted, mostly liked to act as a cameraman for you as you showed the props you used and other things, often making comments or turning the camera around whenever you referred to something.
Meanwhile, Emily had a natural knack for being in front of the camera. Whenever you asked her to join in, she effortlessly slipped into the co-host role, bantering with you and adding her own insights into the behind-the-scenes world of the show.
With the first season out of the way, you took the time to carefully pick what videos you wanted to use in the final tape, and it took you a little over a month and a half to properly edit it and turn it into a wonderful thirty-minute-long behind-the-scenes. You even sent it to the producers and your co-stars in case there was a scene they wanted deleted. Fortunately, they all gave you the okay.
You teased the video a bit on your Instagram before uploading it a few days later, and the support it received was out of this world. It gained over two million views and hundreds of thousands of likes.
You were kind of expecting this. While some BTS had already been uploaded on YouTube, yours was different because you were showing it from your perspective. The fans loved every second of it, and even started asking for a second or third part. You even saw new videos on YouTube of recompilations from your video with the titles being silly things like The One Piece Cast Being Chaotic for Seven Minutes.
At that moment, your life felt so full. You were getting contacted by industries who wanted you to appear on their videos and their stages, thousands of fans who loved you, and a feeling so peculiar that this would be eternal.
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yourusername missing my wig and my gang hours ☹️
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November 10, 2023
morganlogoff, love love love you💗💗💗
curlikaqy, NO ONE KNOWS I'M YOUR BIGGEST FAN
emilyrudd, GIRL I WANT TO SEE YOU COME BACK TO AMERICA
bookofjacob, missing your camera hours💔
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daisyblog · 1 year ago
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Cherry
Our Story Masterlist Summary: How Cherry was made.
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Harry knew he had to get back to some sort of normality. He'd spent the last few months on tour, trying to work on his emotions and still trying to put a good show for his fans. It was hard.
It was hard for him without YN by his side. It was hard for him when they weren't talking right now. They hadn't spoken for a few weeks now, their last conversation was strained and it seemed that they silently agreed that maybe they needed to stop texting right now.
From the One Direction days, right up until his first solo album, Harry always felt inspired to write. It was his passion, the way he enjoyed expressing himself and music was his thing. But since their break up, Harry felt a lot, but trying to put into words was just something that he couldn't do right now.
He had a studio session with his team, he thought it was a waste of time because he had already explained to his manager, Jeff, that he wasn't in the right frame of mind to write, but Jeff and the team persuaded to join them, even if it was just to mess around with some of the instruments and sound board to see what they could do.
Harry sensed a tense and awkward atmosphere as he walked through the studio door, where everyone else had arrived before him. He noticed the look Mitch and Jeff gave each other and how Sammy and Tyler focused their eyes on the recording deck in front of them.
"What?" Harry continued to eye each of them, waiting to hear why they were all acting guilty, almost like they knew something he didn't.
Jeff broke the silence of the room. "Have you been online today?".
Harry shook his head no, confusion still evident on his face. "No..why?".
Jeff eyed Mitch quickly before he broke the news to his friend. "There's a photo of YN...and a man in a gallery in Paris".
Harry's heart felt like it was going to escape his body. It was thumping hard against his chest. He'd always been the jealous type, he'd get annoyed if another man checked YN out in front of him or attempted to chat her up, but this wasn't just jealousy, this was like he'd been hit by a bus. Was she really moving on?
Swallowing his emotions, Harry broke the tense silence. "Um..do we know who he is?". He asked his manager, knowing he would have made a few phone calls this morning.
"His name is Jack..his parents own the gallery they were at..it was their opening night". Harry felt his stomach twist again, all he could think about was YN and Jack and the fact that she had already met his parents.
Harry nodded his head in response, not quite knowing what to say. He just wanted to know, how they met, where they met, did she love him, did they have the same conversations they used to have, did she laugh at his jokes?
"Do you think he may just be a friend or something?" Mitch, who didn't get too involved in anything that wasn't his business, questioned Harry. He had known YN for a few years, and to him he just thought this was out of character for her. He witnessed how in love the couple are, the way YN would look at him with heart in eyes, the way they would say 'I love you' whenever they were leaving the room or how supportive YN had been when the guitarist first met them.
Harry let out a sarcastic chuckle. "I've met all her friends...and I've never heard of him". It was true, Harry had met YN's small group of friends. YN always said how small her circle was because she only trusted a small amount of people. "I'm gonna go and get a coffee, I'll be back in a bit".
Harry took a small walk around the area, needing to get some air. He felt like so many things were going through his mind. He didn't want YN to be with anyone else, he wanted to be the one to hold her hand, tell her how beautiful she is, tell her that he loves her.
Once Harry had arrived back at the studio, the four men was surprised to see that he had actually come back after the news they had shared this morning. They were even more surprised when Harry instructed Mitch to play a slow melody on the guitar. But they all did what Harry asked and once Harry began to sing some lyrics, they had realised that Harry was expressing his feelings and emotions through song.
Don't you call him baby We're not talking lately Don't you call him what you used to call me
Harry thought about how he and YN had always had little pet names for each other, mostly being 'baby' or 'bubs". He couldn't help but think about YN calling Jack these names. He was also aware that they weren't talking right now so it made things feel even more intense for him.
I, I confess I can tell that you are at your best I'm selfish so I'm hating it I noticed that there's a piece of you in how I dress Take it as a compliment
YN was smiling wildly in the photo at the gallery, Harry could tell it was her real smile and one that he had been lucky to see many time over the years. Of course he wanted to see her happy, but not without him and with another man. As he was getting ready this morning, he couldn't help but reach for the pink beanie that sat in the drawer, one that YN had left behind and the one that was currently hiding his curls.
Don't you call him baby We're not talking lately Don't you call him what you used to call me
Harry re-sung the first verse, wanting to repeat the message loud and clear.
I, I just miss I just miss your accent and your friends Did you know I still talk to them? Does he take you walking round his parents' gallery?
He missed her loudness, he missed her laugh, he missed everything about her, even her thick accent. But the more he thought about YN, the more he visualised the photo of her and Jack so the last line came out without thought as he sung.
---
It was later that evening that Harry was back home by himself. He'd thought about his day and how everything changed so quickly for him.
He knew he was being cruel to himself, sat staring at the photo of YN at the gallery. He couldn’t help but notice how her eyes crinkled as she was mid laugh or how she was wearing her favourite black dress that hugged her figure perfectly. 
To distract himself he decided to go for a night time run, something he used to do when he couldn’t sleep or had something on his mind. As he run around the area near his home in LA, knowing the time difference between LA and England he wondered if YN was awake not able to sleep or if she had started her day early. 
Arriving back at his house, Harry showered and changed into some comfy clothes, he got into bed and out of habit glanced at the space next to him. An empty space where YN and Teddy were usually cuddled up. 
What surprised him was the sound of his pinging on the bedside table. He reached over and seeing the name across the screen made his heartbeat faster.
YN: Hey! Can we talk? x
Harry wasn’t sure if he was happy, relived or scared. Of course he wanted to talk to her, he’d do anything to have her back in his arms. But was this the talk where she told him it was officially over between them both.
Not wasting another moment, he pressed the phone button next to YN’s name and waited to hear her voice. 
“Hello”. YN’s voice was quiet, almost like she was trying to not to wake anyone. 
“Uh hey”. Harry was nervous. He didn’t know what to expect. 
“Sorry…I hope I didn’t wake you”. YN apologised.
Harry’s fingers began to play with the loose cotton on the duvet as he spoke. “N-no…of course not”.
There was a slight pause in conversation, almost like they weren’t quite sure what to say. 
“I…I wanted to explain the photo you may have seen-“. Harry recognised the nerves in YN’s voice. 
Harry interrupted. “YN…it’s okay..you don’t need to explain yourself to-“.
“Harry-“.
“-me…you can date whoever you want to date”. Harry continued to ramble, almost trying to sound unbothered about the whole thing.
“Harry…it’s not what it looks like-“.
Once again Harry didn’t let YN finished explaining. “You don’t need to tell me”.
“Harry…for fook sake let me finish”. Harry remained silent. “I’m trying to explain that Jack, who’s in the photo is Mia’s boyfriend…Mia invited me along because she was nervous and the media have twisted it”.
Harry has never felt relief like it. He wanted to jump up and down in excitement, but instead the smile was back on his face. 
When Harry didn’t respond, too happy about the news YN just shared, YN grew nervous. “Harry?”.
“Oh..oh sorry…I-I…I’m not going to lie…I’m so fucking happy to hear that”. Harry left put a chuckle, YN giggled on the other end of the phone at his honestly.
“So you really thought I would be dating someone”. YN decided this was the time to question Harry.
“Uh…uh…No…well maybe”.
“Harry….you know I still care about you…I was actually going to ask if you wanted to maybe go for a coffee or something next week…I’m flying out to LA to stay with Louis for a bit”.
Harry’s excitement started to grow. YN wanted to see him, she was flying out to LA next week, she made the first step. He couldn’t help but get hopeful that this was his chance to win her back.
“Yeah..yeah…I’d really love that”. Harry tried to stay calm and not give too much away.
“Cool…I’ll leave you to get some sleep ‘cause I know it’s late there…I’ll send you some details once I arrive”.
“That’ll be good…have a safe flight”.
“Goodnight bu-“. YN almost let out the little pet name she was used to saying. “Harry”.
As they both hung up, Harry whispered “Goodnight baby”.
Tag List: (let me know if you would like to be added) @pansexualwitchwhoneedstherapy @harrys-flower @platinumbarbie143 @frickin-bats @harrysbbyh0ney @chronicallybubbly @goldensunflowe-r  @walkingintheheartbreaksatellite @kaverichauhan @peterholland04 @panicattheuc @indierockgirrl @or-was-it-just-a-dream @hittiesontour @bunnyharold @fanfictioncafe @lilfreakjez @jerseygirlinca @iamahallucinationnn @theekyliepage @buckybarnessimpp
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bebe-writes-stuff · 1 year ago
Text
Baji x Reader - Part 2 with smut
Go read part 1
You groan, slamming your head onto the wall in front of you, as you reminisced about what happened last night,
"Regarding your last letter. Yeah, I'd love to go out with you. <3"
And that's what brought you here, trying to pick an outfit, for your date with Baji. You were simply losing your mind, should you wear a cool outfit, or a cute preppy one. You pulled out your phone, quickly scrolling down in your contacts to find your best friend, Emma.
"Oh, hey Y/n! What's up?"
You heard her cute voice, which calmed you a little,
"Uhhhh, help me please, Em."
You whined in a childish tone
"Oh-no, what did you do this time?"
She already sounded disappointed
"NOTHING!...I have a date and I'm not sure what to wear...please help me."
"Pfft, are you serious? You always look good though, I never thought you'd have the I-don't-know-what-to-wear type problem. Hmm, just wear whatever makes you comfortable, where are you going?"
"The mall, I heard there's a haunted house there. I wanted to check it out."
"Yeah, so just wear something comfortable."
You both kept chatting, as you put on and took off clothes. But then, there it was at the back of your closet. It was a short, white, dress you had bought a couple weeks ago. It was one of those neat and classy dresses. That hugged your body and it curves beautifully. You ran a hand down your body as you stared in the mirror.
"Damnn, who is that babe."
You finished off the look with a few stylish accessories, a new pair of sneakers, and finally a cute small handbag with a few mandatory things: deodorant, perfume, lip-gloss, napkins, earbuds, and some snacks for you and Baji. It was perfect. You did a little twirl in the mirror, before you heard the small ringtone of a notification on your phone.
Baji : Hey? I'm here, are you ready yet, beautiful?"
You smiled, already knowing he was here, because of the sound of his bike's engine. Peeking out your window, you saw him, he was leaning on his bike staring at his phone, waiting for you to respond, you guessed. You quickly snatched your phone as you sprinted downstairs and right out the front door.
"Hey Keisuke! Sorry if I kept you waiting, I was getting ready."
You said as you stood in front of him, catching your breath. Baji's eyes widened. He never really stared at girls, he knew they were pretty, but you, you exemplified a novel vision of absolute beauty. He got flustered, what does he do, a hug, a kiss maybe. His brain was going all over the place, his hand shot out...a handshake.
"Oh, a handshake. I mean, that's good too, haha."
You laugh nervously as you grasp his hand and shake it. Wow, he was strong, you could tell. The way he seems so big, compared to you, he could probably just engulf you fully with his presence.
"S-should we get going?"
He wanted the ground to split open, and swallow him whole. First, the handshake, and now, he stuttered.
"Sure, Let's go!"
You said, enthusiastically, hopping into the bike after him, wrapping your arms around him. He swallowed hard, as he felt the way you gently wrapped your hands around his midsection. No one was ever soft with him the way you were. His heart was racing. The ride was nice and peaceful. You rested your head on his back, while running your hand up and down his chest.
"Keisuke, you're so warm. Hmm, I just wanna stay in your arms."
You dozed off but you were brought back when Baji parked his bike, He gave you a helping hand off the bike.
"I already paid for the tickets online, we just need to make it in line first."
He quickly added as you jumped off his bike
Cute.
He thought.
You were both shocked when you already saw how many people were in the line,
"Woah, and here I thought, we were going first."
You muttered, quickly taking a spot in the line, Baji next to you. No one said anything as you and Baji waited patiently for your turn. Baji glanced down at your hand, it looked so soft, you had a few rings around your fingers. He quickly wiped his hand on his pants before courage kicked in, and he grabbed your hand nonchalantly. You peered towards him, staring at him for a little before he noticed and looked at you.
"What's up-"
You cut him off when you stood on the tippy toes before landing a tender peck on his lips he wasn't expecting which made his face explode with red. you grinned at his adorable reaction, little did you know what Baji had in mind.
"Ohhhh, it's our turn! c'mon let's go Keisuke!"
You were jumping with excitement, you've never been to a haunted house before. You went through a door, that seemed like a door for a dungeon, it was super dark inside. You grabbed his arm,
"Baji, you here?"
"Yeah, where are you though?"
Your heart dropped,
"What do you mean, I'm literally holding your arm-"
The light suddenly turned on, making you flinch and rub your eyes. You turn and look to your side, and a scream of pure horror leaves your throat. The person you thought was Baji, was instead, a very tall man, his face was wrapped with bloody bandages and a black clock around his body. You instantly felt regret, you wanted to leave, you couldn't do this. You took a few steps back, stumbling over something. You looked down, only for your blood to go cold. It was a person's head. However, before you fully fell, a strong pair of hands caught you.
"PFFT-C'mon Y/n, I thought you were brave. It's all fake anyway."
He laughed as he kicked the fake human head away, tears threatened to fall from the corners of your eyes, as you gripped onto Baji, shaking.
"Hey, don't worry, you're safe. I wouldn't let any of those ugly, busted up fuckers touch you. Okay?"
You quickly nodded, sniffling, and holding onto his arm for dear life. Baji would be straight up lying if he said he didn't enjoy you like this. Holding onto him for dear, being all over him. He was in heaven, now he understood why most couples choose to see horror movies. But he'd also be lying if he didn't admit that all of the adrenaline from the haunted house and you being basically attached to him didn't affect his dick. He'd always thought he had good control over his urges but you continue to prove him wrong, your soft skin, your scent, they way your hands reach and grab anything on him so you don't fall, it all went to his dick, that was, oh so painfully hard. He was glad it was dark, or else how would you react.
"Keisuke, please, I wanna get out of here. This was actually a mistake."
You were out of breath as you tried to talk, Baji was smirking as he held you close to his chest, he felt how fast your heart was racing. It continued to feed his twisted pleasure, you were so small, like a prey.
"Shhh, it's okay. We're almost there, pretty."
He whispered. A chill ran down your spine, not expecting him to be so close to your ears but at the same time, you didn't realize how Baji was basically caging you in his arms. You felt your mind go mushy as you started to realize what's going around you with Baji. Suddenly, you felt a gust of fresh air that brought you out of your trance. You were breathing hard.
"Woah, you were seriously scared of that, it wasn't even that scary. Also, you didn't have to kick that poor lady, she was only doing her job."
He was holding back laughter, your reactions were super funny. You kicked and punched anyone that popped out at you and Baji, he totally recorded the whole thing.
"SHE DIDN'T HAVE TO POP OUT FROM UNDER THE SINK LIKE THAT, she had it coming."
You sighed before you cringed when you pulled out your phone and opened the camera app. You looked messy and sweaty.
"OH.MY.GOSH. I'll be right back, I need to go fix this mess!"
You were gonna run to the nearest bathroom before you felt Baji grab your wrist,
"Wait don't, you look...good."
"Wha-"
He cupped your face, moving his thumb against your bottom lip. There it came again, that sudden heat that only Baji sparked inside you. You got closer to him, reaching up to kiss him. He pulled you even closer. He was rough, it only made you melt even further into his touch. It was a deep kiss, that made you both forget how both of you were still in the middle of the mall.
"Here, let's go in here."
You whispered, pulling him into a photo booth and closing the curtains. You were both moving fast and risky, considering you both were still at the mall, but neither of you could resist the other, considering the constant tension building up between you two. He sat on the small bench and you straddled his waist, feeling his hard-on under you. You pulled him in by the collar, his breath fanning your lips as you sunk your lips into his, melting in his arms. Moaning when you felt his hips moving up and down, thrusting at your clothed pussy. You felt his hand hike up your dress, exposing your wet panties.
"Thought it was just me, but after seeing how wet that pussy is, you want me just as I want you."
You whimpered at his word of choice, he was blunt, so honest it turned you on even more, you were wet, wet for him, and the need of wanting to get full with cock only grew and grew until you were shamelessly humping his dick through his pants, just like a needy little slut, like a bitch in heat, waiting to be stuffed full of cock and cum.
"You're so fucking needy, I could tell you to do anything right now, and you wouldn't say no, right? You're my good little slut aren't you?"
tears formed in the corners of your eyes and your mouth slowly fell open as you felt his fingers pushing your panties to the side, the only thing keeping your dignity protected. Feeling his fingers pump in and out of your pussy, tightening every time you heard how wet and gushy your cunt became when he kept pumping, harder, and harder, and harder. You were holding back, and no way he was gonna let that happen. You threw your head back when you felt the fast and small circles directly on that throbbing little clit. You gasped at the wave of pleasure and euphoria that shot through you body, that had you shaking on Baji's lap,
"That's it, yeah, feel that orgasm baby."
After coming down from your high, and taking some deep breaths, you sunk down to your knees. You caught Baji off guard when you started pulling down his pants,
"I can't be the only one feeling good, that be selfish, right?"
You looked up at him with your pretty doe-eyes. Excitement ran through your veins when you saw the way his length shot up waiting for your dearest attention.
"Ngh, yeah, just like that. Oh fuck, yeah, just keep moving your hands like that, FUUUCK."
He grabbed a fistful of your hair and pressed your cheek right up against his rock hard cock.
"You use your mouth, and don't get messy. Don't you dare drop a spec of cum out of the dirty little mouth."
You nodded obediently, as you parted your lips, taking his hard red tip tight into your mouth as your hands continued with their up and down motion. Twisting your head and taking more and more of him until he was reaching the back of your throat making you gag on his dick. Forcing your head down as he started thrusting deeper and deeper into your throat,
"Ahhh, fucking hell, your mouth feels so damn good. Fuck, this mouth is mine, you hear me? All of you is mine, you're mine. O-oh shit, I'm close. Don't you fucking dare drop anything, ugh, fuck, fuck!"
He tugged your hair harshly as you felt the spurts and ropes of cum that covered your throat as you swallowed every drop. Finally, you gasped for air once he let his iron grip of your hair, his hand patting your head and brushing your hair back,
"God, I love you so fucking much."
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