#how many more ways can I actually write a Leia time travel reveal

[this-acuteneurosis]

You do trick or treat again?

I’m considering it. I’ll need to see what the rest of this month looks like and if I’m too burnt out or not. There’s also the question of how long to I keep prompts open. I got 30 in 7 days last time, so even if I do open for prompts again, it probably won’t be for very long? I don’t know…

[love-peterparker]

In Extremis || Peter Parker x Reader

Summary: After the reveal of Spider-Man’s secret identity and the release of Quentin Beck’s murder video, there isn’t a lot going right for Peter Parker. But he has you. 

Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader

Warnings: Cursing, protests and rallies, mentions of murder, a gun that is never shot, and some hair description for Y/N for plot purposes (but it should still be generic enough).  

Word Count: 2.3k

A/N: I’m first a Captain America and Agent Carter fan, and I wanted to recreate what makes their relationship so special, but with Peter and Y/N… ‘cuz I also love Peter Parker. I really loved writing this, and I hope you enjoy it.

Also, thanks to @marvelouspeterparker, @sinisterspidey (she actually has a blurb called I’ll Follow You and it builds off of Spider-Man’s identity reveal) and @stuckonspidey for answering my anon asks for general writing tips and Peter’s character. And @spideyspeaches with her kind words after reading one of the final drafts of this fic. Lastly, a special thanks to @peterbenjiparker encouraging me with this fic and for making me so emotional with her series Invisible String (Read this!... but only if your heart can take it) that I needed to write something. This story has nothing to do with it, but it does make some small generic references to her fic, and I would like to think that Y/N and Peter are soulmates in this story.

***

This takes place in a universe where a FFH-esque identity reveal happens when Y/N and Peter are young adults.

***

This fucking city didn’t deserve him.

Peter rarely admits it, but you say it all the time. When you hit a dead end in the Avenger’s database. When checking for your gun before leaving another safehouse. When reaching for him in the dark of night.

This fucking city didn’t deserve him.

It had been over a year since Peter’s identity as Spider-Man was revealed and the dubious video of Quentin Beck’s murder was released. But it felt like a lifetime.

These two Peter problems were like ivy. They rooted, twisted, and spread. Winding into chokeholds around their victims.

But heroes knew how to play with fire.

Peter’s identity was dealt with in a straightforward fashion. Plenty villains who would do anything to exact revenge on Spider-Man, but they would have to find Peter Parker and identify his loved ones first. And for someone like Peter? Well, it was going to take some time.

To you, Peter was lifegiving. A shining ray of golden hope. You fell to sleep and rose to press kisses into his face. To cherish and hold. To share tears. But to the world, or even New York City? He was a nobody, one who couldn’t even hold a steady job.

You all worked fast while the wicked played catch-up. The Avengers searched and wiped all, but ultimately little personal information Peter had on the internet, as well anything that might connect him to your shared inner circle. Everyone was given an Avenger’s signal watch. And both you and May opted to move as a precaution. May to Brooklyn. You to Avenger’s Tower.

The case of Quentin Beck’s murder was a much more grinding process. Through polished superhero reputations, the lawyers secured an Avenger’s Tower house arrest during court proceedings. An overwhelming amount of evidence in Peter’s favor was gathered. Press conferences were held. Speeches were given. And when it all seemed like it was too much for too long, you and Peter would lie in bed, arms and legs entangled, whispering that everything would turn out all right. Good will win. You just had to keep going.

It was taxing, but not impossible. And just when you all thought you were pulling at the end of the thread with the jury in your favor, the ground beneath you crumbles into nothingness. You spiral and crash into a labyrinth, lush and high-walled. Maybe this was the way out- oh wait, you’ve been here- or have you? You all turn and turn only to face a new dead end. A new set of incriminating videos were released. Spider-Man’s videos took the spotlight, but videos of Wanda and Bucky were also revealed. The streets of New York bustled in whispers.

Can we really trust these heroes? What if these videos are the truth?

And what happens when these powerful people think they are right when they are wrong?

When public protests against Earth’s heroes sprouted and jury members started to disappear, it was clear that the whoever or whatever was behind this had greater motives and powerful allies. It was time to buy time.

Everyone had tried to convince Peter to go into hiding somewhere else. Anywhere else. He had enough super-friends where anywhere was possible. Lay low while everyone else above ground scrambled to unweave this massive web of lies. But Peter was infuriatingly adamant that New York, regardless of her wavering loyalties, was his to protect.

So two months ago, he started bouncing around New York City, investigating when he could, and making polarizing headlines with every swing he took.

You tried to continue as if Peter was still by your side. After being terminated from your junior journalist job for “suspect ties to Spider-Man,” Spider-Man became your mission. You originally attended press conferences and rallies as moral support, but after Peter’s first awkward mumbles of a speech, it was painfully clear that he needed a new voice. The public herself needed a normal person who interacted with superheroes. Who better than Spider-Man’s girlfriend? But after the last kidnapping attempt and the Avengers’ numbers shrinking, it was clear that this wouldn’t last. The world now knew who you were too.

The thick ivy had caught up, and you were on fire.

But to hell with it because there was no universe where you would be leaving this nightmare without him. So the next time you looked in the mirror, you donned short red hair and heavy eyeliner.  

Days were spent questioning possible witnesses. Nights were spent in the light of a computer. And when you could barely drag yourself to continue, moments were spent staring at your beautiful boy’s picture. He needed you.  

You had only heard from him twice since he went into hiding, though there were a few times answered unknown number calls would lead to abstract rustling and distinct web shooter noises. To those, you always whispered “I love you,” before hanging up.

That was until last night, when you noticed small slip of paper in the crack of the window of the safehouse you had been staying at. Only a time and an address were written, in messy, but undeniably Parker script.

You spent the next day visiting arbitrary places in the Bronx, trying to determine if anyone was following you and collecting items in an unsuspecting backpack.

It was a balancing act between comfort and practicalities. An extra stealth suit. A waterproof jacket you both shared. Protein bars. Extra web fluid and a first-aid kit. A hefty wad of cash, just in case. And in the smallest pocket, things to help him in the darkest days to come. Letters from you, May, Ned, and your other friends. A few packs of gummy bears. And a picture of you and him, laughing in Central Park on one of your many dates. Sunlight casting halos on your heads. Bright. Carefree. Brimming with love.

Your heart cried and cried and cried, begging for those days.

But they were gone. And as much as you didn’t want to admit it, so were the people in that picture.

You travelled to the building location and made your way to the rooftop. Rows and rows of white sheets were hung, all whipping in the wind to dry.

A small smile graced your lips. You had to hand it to him. He was smart.

You folded yourself into one of the corners of the rooftop, gun in hand and waited. Eerie silence slowly lulling you to…

You woke up to the soft footsteps, sleepy eyes registering a shadowy figure behind one of the bedsheets.

“Hans?” you whispered, pointing your gun with a finger on the trigger.

“Leia,” the figured replied, equally hushed. The shadow lifted the curtain. It took a second to register, but it was really him. You raced towards each other, quick hold each other, beaming. Today, you existed in the same place at the same time.

“That was so stupid. I can’t believe you got me to do that,” you laughed, pressing your face into him, holding him tightly as if he could disappear at any moment.

“Oh, come on, you loved it!” he quipped. You hummed in appreciation.

“True, but I love you more.” His eyes brightened at your confession, pink dusting his cheeks.

“I know.” You shook your head, smiling at his response before turning your head and taking in who he had become. Gone were the luxurious curls, replaced with a buzzcut. A pair of fake glasses perched on his nose in further attempts to conceal his identity. Hallowed eyes. His skin tinted gray from the stress. You ran your fingers through the fuzz on his head, massaging his scalp. A sigh escaped his lips, eyes fluttering shut, with hands reaching to caress yours.

“You cut your hair.”

“You did too.” His fingers danced in the ends of your own tresses. A sad smile furnished your face.

“It had to be done,” you replied, before pressing your lips to his cheek and gently removing yourself from his embrace to get your laptop. “We need to get started. We’ve found a lot since you left.”

With his head on your shoulder, fingers laced with yours, and your laptop on your lap, you recounted the on-going investigation to him. The deep web that just kept going and going. Your theories and suspects. And when that was done, you kept talking. How Aunt May and his friends were fine but missing him. How the remaining Avengers were fairing. Peter was oddly quiet, sharing only a few thoughts here and there, but you attributed it to his weariness.

As the sun continued to dip, the silences between sentences stretched, but you mustered more words. As if your sentences were the delicate string that grounded him to you.

“Y/N,” he interrupted. You looked at him and hummed in reply. He began playing with your fingers, eyes never meeting your own. “I love you more than I ever I thought I could, and I’m really thankful for everything you’ve done. And you’ve done so much. Like, I don’t know if I would have even made it this far without you, but here you are, and well, you can’t keep doing this.” You cocked your head, before shaking your head, hair rustling.

“What? Peter, we are getting somewhere! I just need to visit the-“ He lets go of your hand, fingers clenching into trembling fists.

“No, no more visits. No more investigating. This can’t be your life. When this started, we thought there was a way out. But it’s been over a year. Clearly whoever or whatever is doing this won’t stop until we’re all gone. This may never stop. I can’t have you throwing away your life for me. Hell, I don’t even know when I’ll see you aga-“

“Peter,” you cut him off, your voice pitched lower in concern, “Where is this coming from? We’re gonna make it. It is just a matter of-”

“I can’t give you what you deserve! I’m Spider-Man, so we don’t get to have a house and two kids! We get this-, this fucking disaster! I live like this because I have to. I don’t get a choice. And you shouldn’t be stupid enough where you are doing the same thing!”  

Your mouth fell open, ready to spit back poison when he looked at you. It was in his eyes. Behind the falling tears and redness was the glint of insecurity that Peter had always carried. This was the child whose parents died. The teenager who didn’t stop his Uncle Ben from getting killed. Who held Tony Stark in his last moments. The man who was on the run.  

The hero who would never stop giving to a world who would never stop taking.

Your thoughts frenzied. If you held on to him too tightly, he would resist. The more he would thrash, determined to save you while slowly sacrificing himself until there was nothing left. Your brain was frozen, so your heart gave you the words-

“Marry me.”  

Peter’s eyes widen before retracting into a tight furrow, scrunching his nose.

“What?! No! Did you not hear anything I just said-“

“I’m not leaving you. I will never leave you. The one thing you never get to doubt in the world is us. So, I’m gonna ask you again; will you,” you took his hand, went to one knee, and let your voice soften as you held his gaze, “Peter Parker, marry me?”  

You both bathed in silence. His chocolate doe eyes boring straight into yours, searching for truth. The thought that maybe you had gone about this the wrong way started to crawl into your mind, but then a smile slowly creeped onto his face, bright red with blush. More salt-water pooled in his eyes. He pulled you into a near lung-constricting embrace, smothering wet kisses into every inch of your face. Mine. Mine. Mine. You could practically hear his thoughts as you basked in each kiss. I missed you. I love you. And oh my god, you’re here to stay.

“What did I ever-, I have no idea know what I ever did to ever deserve you.” A smirked formed on your lips.

“Is that a yes?” The gold stars in his eyes shined at your playfulness. There was the man you always loved.

“Yes, yes, oh god yes. I do, Mrs. Parker,” he said pulling you in for a passionate kiss. And you both stayed there, melting into the ground beneath you. Breathing each other in as moments passed. Tender “I love you’s” flowing generously from both of your lips. As if the world had vanished and all that existed was you and him, and him and you, and this understanding that this, this was a love until death do you part.

Peter was the one to break the string of kisses, leaving you to chase his lips before touching his forehead with your own. His breath hot on your face. “I- , if you go to my lab there is a secret compartment. In my desk. The code is your birthday. I was going to ask you myself, but then, well… this.” You chuckled as he stumbled on his words.

“I’ll get it as soon as I can.” You both leaned in to close the gap again when a cacophony of sirens and lights echoed in the streets below.

Frustration filled Peter’s eyes as he sat up. “Shit. I-, I gotta go. Are you gonna be okay?” You let out a shallow breath, but quickly forced a smile.

“Go get’em.” And with the whip of his webs, he was gone.

You sat there for a moment, taking in the new quiet. Your fingers graced your lips, still warm with the memory of his. A lightness had settled in your chest, and with every breathe you could feel it pulse stronger.

Because no matter what it took, no matter how long the wait, there was two things for certain.

He was going to protect the city. And you were going to save your husband.

[twomoonstwosuns]

dinner.

back to you [series masterlist]

previous part · next part

pairing: professor!poe dameron x reader

warnings: swearing, mentions of alcohol, age gap (reader over 18), things aren’t fluffy anymore.

word count: 2.8k

a/n: i really appreciate the love for the last chapter, i am truly glad you enjoyed it. i am my own worst critic and sometimes i feel unsure about what i write and need some validation.  

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Heels were not fun to wear in the middle of winter. 

Heels plus invisible ice equaled a disaster waiting to happen, even to the most experienced heel-wearers. You tried to avoid getting dressed up during the winter as much as you could for that very reason. However, dinner at Calrissian’s required a little more effort than a nice pair of pants and a nice top, which is how you found yourself in a fitted dress with heels, hair curled and makeup intricately done, sipping on a glass of wine that cost way more than it should.

You were practically counting the minutes until you could leave. You were going straight to Poe’s afterwards, a newly bought surprise for him hugging your body just underneath your dress.

“How’s my niece or nephew doing?” You asked as Tallie sat down on your right. She was four months pregnant and just beginning to show.

“I am hungry all the time and I have the weirdest cravings, so don’t judge whatever I choose to eat tonight. You know I actually had Chris go get me pickles and ice cream last night?” You gave her a disgusted look. “I’m a walking pregnancy cliché.”

“Are you guys going to find out the sex?”

“We haven’t decided. Chris and I keep going back and forth on whether we want to know or not. I have an appointment next week and I’m hoping we’ll make a decision right then and there.”

“If you do find out, promise me you won’t do an over-the-top stupid cheesy gender reveal. Just get cake or something.”

“I promise.” You clinked your wine glass against her glass of water to seal the deal. Your mother suddenly standing up from her end of the table with an excited gasp caught your attention.

“Leia, it’s so good to see you!”

She greeted a woman with graying hair done up in an intricate braid. You recognized the woman immediately. You were too blindsided at the coincidence of running into her to question how your mother knew her. The two women hugged before your mother beckoned you and Tallie over.  

“Tallie, Y/N, this is Dr. Organa.”

You shook Leia’s outstretched hand, an awed smile on your face.

“I know,” you said dumbly. “I mean, I go to your school.”

“I thought I’d seen you around campus before. Lots of students, but I’m good with faces.” Leia gave you a kind smile. “It’s nice to meet you.”

“You too, ma’am.”

“Are Ben and Han not coming?” Your mother asked, looking around towards the entrance. Leia chuckled.

“My husband and son are late, as usual.” You furrowed your brow.

“Wait, you’re—you’re Ben’s mom?”

“Why did you think she was here?” Tallie asked. You shot her a glare before looking back at Leia.

“I’m sorry, I—you go by Organa not Solo, so I didn’t realize—”

“One thing I learned is that you don’t need your husband’s last name if you don’t want it. Doesn’t mean I love him any less. But I’ve got the doctorate, not him.”

She sent you a wink and you smiled nervously. You took a giant sip of wine as you came to an unsettling realization: you were about to dine with your ex-boyfriend’s mom who also happened to be the president of the university your current boyfriend, who you weren’t supposed to be dating in the first place, taught at and who would be interviewing for a promotion with very soon.

You had a feeling it would be a long night.  

“There they are!”

The booming voice of Han Solo caused many heads to turn, yet he didn’t seem to care. He was just as roguish and scruffy looking as you remembered, a look that worked quite well for him. His graying hair didn’t slow him down.

You practically did a double take when you saw the man trailing behind him.

He was taller than his father now. The freckles and moles that marked his face were as prominent as ever and jet-black hair had grown out to brush the top of his shoulders. He smiled as he greeted your mom, his dimples deep. He was no longer the tall boy with big ears that stuck out and a goofy smile.

Ben Solo was a man.  

Your breath caught when he looked at you, memories of high school flooding back. Deep brown eyes looked you up and down, like he was trying to remember what you looked like the last time he saw you.

“Hi,” your voice was breathy, nervous. Ben gave you a shy smile, feeling the same awkward tension in the air. You stared at him, still not believing how much older he looked after four years. Han interrupted your moment by patting you on the back and giving you a short hug.

When they were seated, a waiter came around with the wine list and menus for the newcomers. Conversation stalled as everyone looked at the menu, starting up again when the waiter came and left with his or her orders. A toast to old friends was made before Han launched into some story about a trip to Africa he was planning, with Leia, Tallie, and your mother listening intently. You turned your body towards Ben.

“Tell me about Europe.”

Ben leaned forward onto his elbows, his broad frame taking up a lot of space.

“I dropped out of school.” He admitted, his voice deeper than you remember. You tilted your head in a concerned way. He waved it off like it was nothing. “I thought I knew what I wanted to do but after last year I realized I had no clue. So I dropped out and I’ve been traveling ever since. I’ve been all over, not staying in a place long enough to get attached but long enough to get to know some of the locals, the best hide away spots.”

You were joyfully envious of him. “That’s awesome, though. I hope I get to travel like you have someday.” You nodded your head in the direction of his parents. “How’d they take it?”

“Upset at first.” He shrugged with a small grin. “Dad not as much.”

“He’s always been a ‘oh-you’re-going-somewhere-count-me-in’ kind of person, hasn’t he?”

“Yeah, he hasn’t changed much.”

You smiled politely. “So what’re you going to do now?”

“I’m not sure. Travel more. Do an internship. I haven’t decided.”

It was nice to catch up with Ben on the last four years. You had always loved talking to him, even before you dated. Ben was very passionate person, always gushing about something he loved when someone expressed interest in it. He saw the beauty in things; the tiny, unique details that a lot of people didn’t bother to look for.

It was one of the things that initially drew you to him. Coincidentally, it was one of the things that drew you to Poe as well.

“How’s Chewie doing?” You asked, remembering the brown labradoodle that the Solos had had since Ben was a child. 

“He’s---”

“Y/N, are you seeing anyone these days?”

You were so caught up in conversation with Ben that you didn’t hear the other conversation switch from travel stories to Tallie’s relationship and pregnancy. Your eyes snapped up to Han and then to your mother and to Ben. You cleared your throat uncomfortably. Were you really about to tell your mom, sister and ex that you were in a relationship? You saw Leia looking at you with the same interested look as your mother and you knew you couldn’t say anything.

“I’m just trying to make it through the semester so I can graduate.”

“That’s technically not a ‘no’.” Tallie pointed out. You glared at her. Ben placed his hand on your arm. 

“Chewie’s old but still good.”

You smiled appreciatively as the food came, and not a moment too soon. As you ate, Ben asked about you, how school was going, what you chose for your major, and your plans for the future. You reminisced about high school, the good and the cringey moments. He avoided asking more questions about your dating life and you had never been more grateful.

Dessert was to go, the opportunity to sample it too good to pass up but stomachs full from the delicious meal you had just eaten. You snagged a few bites of your dessert before deciding to give the rest to Poe. You practically pushed your mother and sister out of the restaurant. Despite having a nice time, you really just wanted to go see Poe.  

“Hey,” Ben put a hand on your forearm as you stepped into the chill of the night. “I just wanted to say I heard about your dad. I’m sorry.”

“Thanks.” You gave him a tight-lipped smile. “It’s been…it’s been weird.”

“You can always reach out if you want to talk about it. I’m a good listener.”

“Yeah, I know you are,” you said. “It was good to see you, Ben.”

You opened your arms for a friendly hug. He stepped in, towering over you as you gave him a couple friendly pats on the back. Ben lingered into your touch a little bit and you cleared your throat awkwardly as you pulled away.

“I’ll see you around,” you yelled back as you found your car, getting in before you could see the way Ben watched you leave with a small smile and an optimistic look on his face.

》 》 》

“I brought you cheesecake!” you sang as you entered Poe’s apartment. He looked up at the sound of your heels against the hardwood floor of his kitchen. “It is phenomenal. I did sneak a few bites but the rest is yours and you are going to love it.”

You leaned over to give Poe a quick kiss hello but he quickly grabbed the lapel of your coat before you backed away. His hands slid underneath your open coat to rest on your waist as he softly pecked your lips several times. After five months worth of kisses, he still took your breath away like it was the first time. Poe smiled contently as he pulled away, keeping you close to him. He kissed the tip of your thumb as you wiped the away lipstick that was smudged on his face.

“How was dinner?” You shrugged.

“Not as boring as I thought it was going to be.”

“Well, you look beautiful.”

“Thank you. I froze my ass off wearing this though.”

“Then you are a very beautiful popsicle.”

“Well if you think I look beautiful now, then you are going to love what I have on underneath.”

Poe practically growled as his head fell onto your shoulder, his lips finding where your neck met your collarbone. It was exactly the reaction you were hoping for, but you needed to talk to him first. With a light chuckle, you gently pushed him towards the counter and held the fork out to him.  

“You need to eat this cheesecake first,” you said, the tone of your voice becoming a little less light-hearted. “And there’s something I have to tell you that’s kind of important.”

Poe stepped away from you and grabbed the fork, taking the box with the cheesecake in it and leaning against the back of the counter. You wrung your hands nervously and cleared your throat as Poe took a bite of the cheesecake, his brown eyes looking at you expectedly. You took a deep breath. Truth time.

“First of all, the family I went to dinner with tonight, the Solos? They’re family friends but their son Ben and I were in a relationship in high school.”

Poe froze mid-chew and was still for a moment before nodding slowly. He kept looking down, like he didn’t want to be bothered by what you were saying but couldn’t help it.

“Ben’s mother…is Leia Organa.” Poe finally looked up at you, his brow furrowed.

“President Organa?!” He asked in disbelief. You nodded. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I didn’t know.”

“How could you not know?”

His curt tone surprised you. It honestly felt like no big deal to you. In fact, you thought he’d welcome the information even if it wasn’t good news, but instead you felt judged; like you were dumb for not knowing something so general about the person you were dating.

“I never met her.” You kept your voice calm. “She was teaching somewhere in Europe when we dated. She goes by Organa, not Solo, so I never made the connection.”

Poe nodded in understanding, stabbing the cheesecake unnecessarily hard. You flinched. “Is that it?”

“Yeah, I guess.”

An awkward silence filled the apartment. Neither of you said a word and neither of you so much as glanced at each other.

“So Ben…” You looked back at him and stared with eyebrows raised, waiting to see where he was going to go. “Did you tell him you’re dating someone?”

“No.” It was Poe’s turn to stare at you and wait for a response. “I couldn’t tell my mother, my sister, my ex, and my ex’s parents I was seeing somebody. They’d press me for information and…Poe’s not a very common name. Leia would’ve made the connection, she knows I’m a student here.”

“So, your ex still thinks you’re single.”

“It’s not like he’s still in love with me after four years.”

“You don’t know that.”

“And even if he was, who cares? I’m with you. I’m in a relationship with you.”

“But he doesn’t know that, so he thinks he still has a chance. If he wants it.”

You crossed your arms over your chest. “I was just being honest with you, Poe.”

“I appreciate it.”

You scoffed. “Yeah, I can tell.”

Poe scoffed right back, a hand going on his hip. You recognized this stance. You hadn’t seen it from him but you’d seen it before. He was bracing for a fight. “You’re being honest, but it doesn’t mean I have to like what you’re telling me.”

“Would you rather I have not told you?” When Poe didn’t answer, you sighed heavily. “Not that my life is any of his business anymore, but I’ll tell him if that’s what you want. And I’ll tell my mom and sister even though I’m not ready.”

“Don’t do that,” Poe said, frustration starting to rise in him. “Don’t act like I’m telling you what to do. I’m not telling you what to do.”

“No it’s fine, I’ll tell them. I don’t know how my mom will take it given what she’s gone through, but I’ll tell her. It’s clearly what you want.”

Poe ran a hand through his hair. “Y/N, she’s going to deal with it with the rest of her life. There may never be a perfect time to tell her something she might not be happy with.”

“My parents were married for twenty-eight years! Twenty-eight years and my dad up and left, knowing that he was breaking her heart. He willingly broke her heart.”

“I understand—“

“No, you don’t. Your mom didn’t willingly leave you.”

Poe clenched his jaw. You quietly gasped at your own words and your eyes cast downward in shame. Your lips rolled in as your ears picked up the sound of a heavy sigh.

“Poe, I didn’t—“

Poe shook his head and walked into his bedroom, closing the door quietly behind him. Your chin dropped to your chest and swore under your breath. Calling his name, you walked towards his door. The only sound that was heard was the sound of Beebs’ collar jingling as he looked up at the sudden noise. You hung around for a few minutes, not hearing anything on the other side of his bedroom door, before walking back into the kitchen.

There were a million things you wanted to say, but you didn’t know where to start. You wanted to apologize and chastise him for walking off at the same time. You wanted to barge into his room and make him talk to you. But him ignoring you was a sign that you both needed time to cool off before you said something you’d regret.

You reluctantly walked out the door with tears swimming in your eyes and a heavy weight in your chest.

tag list [open!] - @ah-callie @darksideofclarke @gloomygoregirl @leilei-draws @imaginecrushes @i-ievu @brianamaree @yeeintensifies @spider-starry @krazykatkay456 @fanfiction-trashpile @afootnoteinyourhappiness @easterncryptid @my-child-gaara @myrandom-fandomlife @onebatch--twobatch @the-cry-of-youth @p3nny4urth0ught5 @porgiez @umchrisevans @galaxy-of-stories @seeking-a-great--perhaps 

[callunavulgari]

Scrapbook 2021 | Part II

For anyone that’s new to this, this is how I keep track of all of the things I enjoy and/or create throughout the year. I have literally been doing this since I had a livejournal. I think the first one was 2011? Maybe? In which case, woohoo, ten years of scrapbooking!

It’s a nice little snippet of my life and helps to organize my brain.

A reminder:

Normal font - Indifferent/Neutral Italicized font - Enjoyed bold font - Loved with an asterisk* - All time favorite (bracketed titles) - Re-watches/Re-reads strikethough - Disliked

Goals are: read 80 books (as of today, i am at 31 books, which sounds not great but goodreads assures me that it’s only 1 book behind schedule), finish five video games (at two at the moment... mostly because I keep dragging my feet on actually finishing P5R), write more than 20 fics (at... 6) or something larger than 20k (negative), and write either an original short story or start a novel (i have started plotting for the novel? does that count?)

Past Years

MOVIES

May

Mortal Kombat

(SW: The Phantom Menace)

(SW: Attack of the Clones)

(SW: Revenge of the Sith)

(SW: Rogue One)

(SW: A New Hope)

SW: Clone Wars

Enola

Wonder Woman 1984

Dark Phoenix

(Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring)

June

(Princess Mononoke)

Sailor Moon: Eternal

In The Heights

Wish Dragon

July

Luca

(Thor: Ragnarok)

(Doctor Strange)

(Guardians of the Galaxy)

Black Widow

Space Jam 2 Electric Boogaloo

August

The Green Knight

Godzilla vs Kong

(Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets)

BOOKS

May

These Violent Delights | Chloe Gong [Fin]

The Midnight Library | Matt Haig [Fin]

The Galaxy, and the Ground Within | Becky Chambers [Fin]

Unconquerable Sun | Kate Elliott

People We Meet On Vacation | Emily Henry [Fin]

The Soulmate Equation | Christina Lauren [Fin]

June

Unconquerable Sun | Kate Elliott [Fin]

September Love | Lang Leav [Fin]

One Last Stop | Casey McQuiston [Fin]

The Chosen and the Beautiful | Nghi Vo [Fin]

Lumberjanes, volume 2 | Noelle Stevenson [Fin]

For the Wolf | Hannah Whitten [Fin]

The Sandman | Neil Gaiman [Fin]

Mister Impossible | Maggie Stiefvater

July

Mister Impossible | Maggie Stiefvater [Fin]

TAZ: The Crystal Kingdom | The Mcelroys [Fin]

She Who Became the Sun | Shelley Parker-Chan

A Psalm for the Wild-Built | Becky Chambers

The Universe of Us | Lang Leav

August

She Who Became the Sun | Shelley Parker-Chan [Fin]

A Psalm for the Wild-Built | Becky Chambers

The Universe of Us | Lang Leav [Fin]

Lumberjanes, volume 3 | Noelle Stevenson [Fin]

Lumberjanes, volume 4 | Noelle Stevenson [Fin]

PODCASTS

May

The Penumbra Podcast, s3-END

June

The Magnus Archive - Fear Winners 1 & 2

July

Gods of Appalachia, Eps 1-6

(Wolf 359)

Janus Descending

August

(Wolf 359)

Mabel

(Zero Hours, ep 7)

Time:Bombs

TV SHOWS BY SEASON

May

Watcher Entertainment, Are You Scared?

Castlevania, s3, s4 [Fin]

Word of Honor [Fin]

Buzzfeed: Kelsey in Control?

Demon Slayer, s1

June

Demon Slayer, s1 [Fin]

Kim’s Convenience, s4

Leverage, s5 [Fin]

Watcher: Too Many Spirits, s3

Loki, s1

Lucifer, s2, s3, s4

Trese, s1

(Buzzfeed Unsolved: True Crime, s3, s6?)

(Buzzfeed Unsolved: Supernatural, s1)

Sweet Tooth, s1

Love, Death & Robots

July

Loki, s1 [Fin]

Watcher: Too Many Spirits, s3 [Fin]

Watcher: Dish Granted, s3

Shark Week

Lucifer, s5

Masters of the Universe: Revelation

August

The Owl House, s2

Watcher: Dish Granted, s3

Watcher Weekly+

Buzzfeed: Ruining History

Star Trek Discovery, s1, s2, s3

What If..., s1

VIDEO GAMES

May

Monster Hunter Rise, 12 hours

Mass Effect 1: Legendary Edition, 25 hours

Pokemon Go

June

Mass Effect 1: Legendary Edition, ? hours

Pokemon Go

Animal Crossing: New Horizons, ??? Hours

Persona 5 Royal, ??? hours

July

Persona 5 Royal, 167 hours

Pokemon Go

August

Persona 5 Royal, 167 hours

Pokemon Go

Ori and the Blind Forest [Fin]

DELIGHTFUL FIC

May

The word is help. by spqr | Star Wars | Din/Luke | 9k | In a flash, Fett has his blaster out and pointed at Luke’s head. “You’re right,” he says. “Turnabout’s fair play. So maybe I oughta shoot you.”

Don’t be afraid. by spqr | Star Wars | Obi-Wan/Anakin | 12k | “Padawan Kenobi,” Yoda says, after a moment. “Complete your training, Master Skywalker will.”

who carried the hill by spqr | Star Wars | Din/Luke | 22k | Din’s about to head up the ramp onto the newly-repaired Razor Crest when a string pulls taut around his heart and yanks him into the sky.

Tapestry by spqr | Star Wars | Obi-Wan/Anakin | 8k | In March, Obi-Wan drags Anakin to another faculty party, where Anakin gets all sorts of wrong ideas about Quinlan Vos and decides to fellate Obi-Wan in a coat closet about it.

wonderterror by peradi | Star Wars | Leia/Han/Luke | 6k | Anakin Skywalker is the son of the Force.He’s half human and half something monumental.What does that make his children?

Xen Gardens by denimwrapped | Buzzfeed Unsolved | Ryan & Shane | 1k | Shane Madej saves the day.A strange man comes to congratulate him.

A Series of Better Decisions by SassySnowperson | Star Wars | Padme/Obi-Wan/Anakin | 9k | "Kill him. Kill him now!" Chancellor Palpatine hissed, as Anakin held the two blades against Dooku's neck. "No," Anakin said. "It's not the Jedi way."

Futurus (-a -um) by cadesama | Star Wars | Padme/Anakin/Obi-Wan | 60k | Cracked hyperdrive? No problem. Just hold it together with the Force. Time travel? Well. That could be a bigger problem.

Comfort in Wartime by Rosbridge | Star Wars | Padme/Obi-Wan/Anakin | 4k | Obi-Wan is exhausted, drunk, and just about out of fucks to give.

spark me up, i'm a firework (i'll burst into light) by coffeeinallcaps | FATWS | Bucky/Sam | 7k | "You know how the super-soldier serum makes everything, well, super? I guess you could say that's what happened to my sex drive."

Thaw by spqr | Star Wars | Din/Luke | 6k | That’s what hope does to you, Luke remembers now. It lingers at the back of your mind, whispering maybe, maybe, so that knowing a plan is stupid isn’t enough to keep you from trying it.

Christ in Repose by spqr | Din/Luke | 8k | More on this story as it develops. Subscribe to HNN’s JEDI WATCH newsletter for instant updates on Jedi sightings throughout the galaxy.

Insufferable by perkynurples | Word of Honor | Wen Kexing/Zhou Zishu | 3k | Wen Kexing asks a question. Zhou Zishu only hesitates to answer for a little while.

parasitic, parasocial by brawlite | The Untamed | Song Lan/Xiao Xingchen/Xue Yang | 45k | Xue Yang stumbles upon the channel of Fuxue, a popular videogame streamer, and immediately becomes completely and utterly obsessed with him. Unfortunately, Fuxue has a boyfriend -- but that's fine: Xue Yang loves a challenge.

Aaron Burr has Hamilton's RSI and he isn't pleased about it. by DragonBandit | Hamilton | Hamilton/Aaron Burr | 3k | Aaron knows 2 things about his soulmate: The first is that they're angry about everything. The second is that they need to fucking sleep.

dinluke lawyer au by spqr | Star Wars | Din/Luke | 31k | At 1:18 a.m., just when Luke is starting to think he might’ve gotten away with something, Biggs Darklighter shows up on the other side of his desk and says, “I can’t believe you called in sick to get shotgun married to a Mando.”

like, comment, subscribe by DeHeerKonijn, Roselightfairy | Lord of the Rings | Gimli/Legolas | 90k+ | Legolas meets Gimli for lunch - unfortunately, he meets someone else, too.

a jackal; a thief by brawlite | Word of Honor | Wen Kexing/Ye Baiyi | 11k | This is not the first time Wen Kexing’s body has been poisoned like this.

you're the trouble that i always find by sundiscus | Word of Honor | Wen Kexing/Zhou Zishu | 27k | “Do you know him?” Jin Wang asks.The ringing in Zhou Zishu's ears gets louder. “No, Wangye,” he says.At Zhou Zishu’s voice, the prisoner freezes.

vampire!wwx threadfic by sundiscus | The Untamed | Wei Wuxian/Lan Wangji | ??? words | in which vampires exist in a modern cultivation au, lwj is investigating a string of strange deaths, and wwx is a vampire he can’t seem to kill.

Velle by DeHeerKonijn, Roselightfairy | LotR | Gimli/Legolas | 29k | Velle (Latin): to want.

June

May All My Wounds Be Mortal by hansbekhart | Word of Honor | Wen Kexing/Zhou Zishu | 10k | Peeled out of his many robes, Wen Kexing’s body reveals itself to be mostly leg. He strips eagerly, grinning up at Zhou Zishu as if this is another joke between them. See? Wen Kexing’s body seems to say, I have no secrets from you.

drop by brawlite | The Untamed | Song Lan/Xue Yang | 4k |  Xue Yang has had this dream before.

Splenda by Tierfal | FMA | Ed/Roy | 19k | WIP | A sugar daddy AU that barely even qualifies as a sugar daddy AU, because these two can't do anything right.

From the Ashes by blacktofade | Buzzfeed Unsolved | Shane/Ryan | 3k | “This doesn’t need to leave this room,” Ryan had said that first time. “Casual is my middle name.”

Whale Songs by denimwrapped | Buzzfeed Unsolved | Ryan/Shane | 2k | It could be humming, he thinks. Some distant angelic humming. What it’s humming about, he’d have to find out the hard way. All he can hear in his mind’s ear is come closer. There’s so much more in the depths than you’ve ever known.

A Good Bargain by Neery | Word of Honor | Wen Kexing/Zhou Zishu | 11k | The Window of Heaven captures the Ghost Valley's master. Zhou Zishu is put in charge of interrogating him.

So Why Not Crack Your Skull When the Mind Swells by greenteafiend | The Untamed | Lan Wangji/Wei Wuxian | 13k | Or, Wei Wuxian is cursed to feel terrible pain when he and Lan Wangji aren’t touching.

the agony and the irony by arostine | Buzzfeed Unsolved | Ryan/Shane | 44k | WIP |  Ryan has a lot on his plate right now. He’s one of three members of his species employed at BuzzFeed, and the only male omega, and his boss keeps asking him to do videos about being an iterant ‘to educate the humans,’ when what he really wants to do is videos about ghosts.

the rest of your life by bestliars | Buzzfeed Unsolved | Ryan/Shane/Sara | 30k | MYSTERY DISAPPEARANCE IN THE MIDWEST! The year is 2034. Successful video producer Ryan Bergara uproots his whole life to take care of his friend’s children.

sit in my circle and hold my hand by soda_coded | Buzzfeed Unsolved | Ryan/Shane | 14k | Ryan and Shane work for the metaphysical department of the LAPD, fool around and get cursed.

Idle Hands (Do the Devil's Work) by ma_malice | Buzzfeed Unsolved | Ryan/Shane | 4k | In which the only upside to being a demon stuck in a seasonal Chicago snowstorm is the ability to abandon your body and possess your boyfriend in LA.

Shell Game by Giddygeek | The Magicians | Quentin/Eliot | 20k | Or, Quentin can’t believe he never thought to ask if there was a magical time in Fillory when people swapped bodies with the last person they slept with.

Contention by hollybennett123 | Word of Honor | Wen Kexing/Zhou Zishu/Ye Baiyi | 3k |  The Zhou Zishu of ten minutes ago, who first agreed to the whole thing — the evening’s conversation and general bickering over drinks taking an unexpectedly filthy turn — had been thinking only about the imminent pounding on offer and not, well, everything else that might come with it.

Necrocafé by etothey | Locked Tomb Trilogy | Gideon/Harrow | 2k | Harrowhark Nonagesimus isn't sure which confounds her more: the new boxes of bones she is to animate, or the hot redheaded courier who brings the boxes.

simple man by spqr | Loki | Loki/Mobius, Loki/Loki | 6k | “Tell you what,” says Mobius, shortly after the Timekeepers have sentenced Loki to death, “why don’t I take care of this?”

(Un)disclosed desires by Springandastorm | Loki | Loki/Mobius | "That's not how I see you at all, Loki." Mobius said, unexpectedly earnest. "We all play roles sometimes." 

sources of light by brawlite | Word of Honor | Wen Kexing/Zhou Zishu | 3k | Zhou Zishu makes a difficult choice in order to save Wen Kexing's life. The morning after is not an easy one.

warm company, cold nights by janonny | Word of Honor | Wen Kexing/Zhou Zishu | 23k | He gave Zhou Zishu a lingering look from beneath his lashes. “Your virtuous wife will accompany you of course.”

July

the potential of broken things by icarusinflight | Harry Potter | Drarry | 11k | "Can you feel that? Some things want to be what they once were. The original spell is still there, and it wants to work again. All it takes is a little push and then"—Draco clicks his fingers of his free hand—"snap, everything will go back into place."

little beast by brawlite | The Untamed | Song Lan/Xue Yang | 7k | Payback's a bitch.

you, undeniable you by returnsandreturns | Brooklyn Nine-Nine | Jake/Amy | 1k | “Are you sure you’re okay with this?” Jake asks, for the fourth time. “Because we can just ditch that thing, toss it out a window, do it missionary like the founding fathers intended.”

Car Talk by drunkbedelia | Loki | Mobius/Loki | 1k | ‘When I pruned myself, I thought I might be able to find Loki,' Sylvie said.

one too many by sarcasticfishes | Watcher | Ryan/Shane | 1k | “Stay here,” Ryan says, just casual enough, “I’ll drive you home tomorrow.”

Tencent and Chill by quoth_the_ravenclaw | The Untamed | Nie Huaisang/Nie Mingjue | 2k | “Da-ge,” Huaisang whines, all for show, as much a performance as the actors on screen. He wiggles his toes. “My feet are so sore, you worked me too hard.”

The House at the End of the World by Hopetohell | Loki | Loki/Mobius/Sylvie | 1k | What will they do, now that they can do anything?

moderate the middle by ElisAttack | Loki | Loki/Mobius/Sylvie | 9k | People only smiled with their eyes when it was real. Unless they were a Loki. No matter the differences between the variants, their tricky grins were a constant as much as they were indiscernible.

Lost and Sound by snack_size | Loki | Loki/Thor/Sylvie | 5k | “Sylvie, did you help my brother defeat the Time Police?”

push the button (and let me know) by dinosuns | Loki | Loki/Mobius | 5k | “How about this?” hands folded on the table, he watches Loki intently. “If you tell me why, I’ll answer.” 

We're (not) all villains here by sir_not_appearing_in_this_archive | Loki | Loki/Mobius/Sylvie | 19k | WIP | Alone and friendless (once again), Loki has to find a way to set things right, or at least right enough he can comfortably sneak off into the sunset, which starts with one thing: saving Mobius's lost memories.

what remains by dinosuns | Loki | Loki/Mobius | “You’re no analyst.” Mobius sounds stunned. They are not aligned, they are not in tandem. But there are wistful glimmers of what is now agonisingly out of reach.

worth a shot by thereyoflight | Loki | Loki/Sylvie | 2k | When Loki and Sylvie are moments away from being cornered on the train in Lamentis, they resort to desperate measures.

Bug Problems by xorabbit | Marvel | Grandmaster/Loki | 7k |  Loki ends up on Sakaar, of course, with just that many more schemes to scheme. However, the Grandmaster is not altogether too terrible--a bit of fine luck, for once--and perhaps it's all right to have a better-natured fling while one works out what's next.

our way, no takebacks by dinosuns | Loki | Loki/Mobius | 20k | "Nice speech," Sylvie drawls, but the sarcasm doesn't land.

August

Vennen min by spqr | Loki | Loki/Mobius | 12k | The day they let Mobius out of the infirmary, Loki gets assigned to a new handler. This, Mobius is pretty sure, is where the trouble starts.

new terms by dinosuns | Loki | President Loki/Mobius | 21k | For the first time in his life, Loki triumphs. How fitting then, for the end to swiftly barge in unannounced.

Icarus by Waako | Loki | Loki/Mobius | 5k | When Mobius got pruned, he expected two different outcomes. Either eternal peace or eternal emptiness. He certainly didn’t expect a grey sky, ruins of old buildings looming over him, and a Loki variant watching him like he was a piece of fresh meat.

Stress Relief by spqr | Loki | Loki/Mobius | 3.5k |  “Let me read you something,” Loki says. He rifles through the pages, clears his throat, and Mobius puts a hand over his eyes because he knows what’s coming before Loki even reads the first word—“Pēdīcābō ego vōs et irrumābō—“

just like the weather by sarcasticfishes | BFU | Shane/Ryan/Sara | 6k | “Y’know,” Ryan shrugs. “Friends have kids together sometimes. Like if a same-sex couple has a friend surrogate for them. Or sometimes people just co-parent.”

Woodash and iron and leather by iffervescent | The Witcher | 9k | Jaskier is the only person Geralt's ever been around who doesn't smell of fear

Food of Love by tanktrilby | The Witcher | Geralt/Jaskier | 22k | I brought a dead princess back to life through the power of song is the kind of thing that would have got an eyebrow raise even from the stone-faced Geralt of Rivia, so it's a good thing he and Geralt will probably never see each other again.

If The Morning Light Sets In by nagia | Castlevania | Sypha/Trevor/Alucard | 45k | Save the Belmonts, save the world.

halfway by ivelostmyspectacles | Castlevania | Sypha/Alucard/Trevor | 12k | Vampire attacks are happening again. Unprovoked, strange, humans and vampires dying alike. A disease. Alucard assures them that he isn't susceptible.

lonely lonely heart by spqr | Loki | Loki/Mobius | 7k |  Mobius looks down at the paperwork, gets a sort of flustered farmboy look on his face, looks back up at Loki and says, “You offered to give a cop fellatio in the middle of Central Park.”

Bedrest by Lise | The Untamed | Xiao Xingchen& Xue Yang | 3k | Xiao Xingchen's newest patient is causing him problems. He just won't stay put.

too little, too late. by raisesomehale | Miraculous Ladybug | Adrien/Marinette | 6k | WIP |  “Ladybug.” Chat’s voice cuts in like molten steel.

DELIGHTFUL FANVIDS

May

Jesper Fahey | 99 Problems

Jesper Fahey | OLD TOWN ROAD

Kaz & Inej | I Can't Pretend

human | kaz brekker

bucky barnes || humble

The Mandalorian || Warriors

The Mandalorian | I'll See You Again

Hope is the light.

►Zhou Zishu & Wen Kexing | Beautiful mess

Kaz & Inej | I Can't Pretend

versailles at night | alina & the darkling

look what you made me do | the darkling

Bucky Barnes | Rasputin

Obi-Wan || dirty work

Blood in the water [the Witcher]

MARVEL || Astronaut in the Ocean

Enola Holmes || Unstoppable

Shadow & Bone || Fire Meets Fate

Mo Dao Zu Shi Season 3 AMV/Trailer - Teeth

Kylo Ren | STAR WARS

June

MARVEL || Rasputin

MARVEL || Astronaut in the Ocean

i dont enjoy hurting people | Loki [1x01]

loki laufeyson • unsteady [⚠ 1x01]

MARVEL || Levitating

Shadow & Bone | Paint It Black

Glitter & Gold | Jesper Fahey

Shadow and Bone | Levitating

wen kexing ✘ zhou zishu | put your lips on mine

Erik Lensherr - Magneto

The Crows || Circus

The Crows | Thrift Shop (Shadow & Bone)

Zemo & Bucky — RASPUTIN [tfatws]

Cruella | Feeling good

Percy Jackson || Watch Me

THE KILLING KIND || The Magnus Archives Animatic

LOKI || Glorious Purpose

The Darkling | Black Heretic

Sam x Bucky || Handclap [HUMOR]

Loki || Lovely

Doctor Strange || Dystopia

Loki & Sylvie || I’m not your friend

Loki || Hate Me

MARVEL || River

Loki & Bucky || Paint It Black

Wanda Maximoff || The Scarlet Witch (WandaVision)

Play With Fire || MARVEL || Loki Doctor Strange Scarlet Witch

MARVEL || Warriors

Loki || God of Mischief || You Do You

(Marvel) Loki | You Will Never Be A God

Marvel's Horror Cinematic Universe

community gardens || the magnus archives PMV

July

Thor || Rise

Loki & Sylvie - Demons in my head [ep.3]

//HUMANS// THE MAGNUS ARCHIVES

Loki | Lost

A Quiet Place

Loki & Sylvie || Strange Birds

Loki & Sylvie "I won't let you down" | (+1x05)

♚ Loki & Sylvie | If You Love Me (1x04)

Loki & Sylvie | If our love is wrong [Loki +1x04]

Loki and Mobius | Hold On [Loki +1x05]

loki laufeyson • in the end [+ 1x04]

Loki and Sylvie || Feeling Good

Marvel || Black Widow - Counting Stars || Natasha Romanoff 

Cruella || Little Wicked

MARVEL || This is My Time || Shang-Chi Trailer Music

Sylvie | Unstoppable (Loki +1x03)

Loki and Sylvie (Lady Loki) || Play With Fire

Wanda and Vision || Dancing With Your Ghost

Wanda Maximoff and Loki || You Should See Me In A Crown

Loki and his Variants ⚔ King of Space [ep.5]

Loki & Sylvie ❤ This world is slowing down [ep.5]

Sylvie || Confident (+1x04)

•Loki x Sylvie ⱠΞⴼ King and Queens•

Loki - In The End | Marvel

Loki & Sylvie ❤ Out of Control [ep.4]

Loki & Mobius | Dynasty [LOKI/+1x04]

Loki & Sylvie ❤ Love War [ep.6]

(Marvel) Loki | Glorious Purpose

(MARVEL) Loki | Chaos

Loki | In The End [+1X06]

Loki x Sylvie | Another Love

Loki & Sylvie | Arcade [ Loki +1x06]

MARVEL || The Assembled Universe (c/w ASTrix UI)

August

Natasha & Yelena || Do It Like A Dude

Black Widow || Smells Like Teen Spirit

MARVEL || Uptown Funk

MARVEL || 1 in a Million

MARVEL/DC || Dies Irae

Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness TRAILER #1

MARVEL || Loki 

DELIGHTFUL MUSIC

May

The Wild One - Suzi Quatro

What’s So Funny ‘Bout - Sharon Van Etten

Levitating - Dua Lipa

The Underground - Meg Myers

You Won’t Find Me - Narrow Skies

Elixir of Life - Leah

Salt and the Sea - The Lumineers

ERROR - Niki, Kradness

Runaway - AURORA

Butterfly Water - Pastelle

Close to the Sun - Porcelain Pill

Selkie-boy - The Lost Words

Good Riddance - Annapantsu

Die Anywhere Else - Julia Henderson

Heat Waves - Glass Animals

Down - St Vincent

Word of Honor OST

Welcome to the Pleasuredome - Frankie Goes to Hollywood

Shy Away - Twenty One Pilots

Follow You - Imagine Dragons

I’m Not That Girl - Kerry Ellis

Meant to be Yours - Ryan McCartan

Ex Wives - Six

Euphoria - BTS

Walls - Cher

96,000 - In the Heights

Sun Goes Down - Lil Nas X

Enough For You - Olivia Rodrigo

Brutal - Olivia Rodrigo

Ziti E Buoni - Maneskin

Shum - Go_A

Loco Loco - Hurricane

Space Ghost Coast to Coast - Glass Animals

The Horror and the Wild (whole album - The Amazing Devil

Chant - Hadestown

Titans - Major Lazer, Sia

Bones - Galantis

Golden Dandelions - Barns Courtney

Le Nozze di Figaro - Hybrid

Save Your Tears - The Weeknd

Psycho - Post Malone

Gold Lion - Yeah Yeah Yeahs

Close to Me - Ellie Goulding

And So It Went - The Pretty Reckless

help herself - bbno$

Fire For You - Cannons

Twist the Knife - Chromatics

He Said She Said - Chvrches

Face Down - The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

Campus - Vampire Weekend

Your Power - Billie Eilish

Reach - Eternal Eclipse

1 Last Cigarette - The Band Camino

Insertion - Hans Zimmer

from the edge - fictionjunction

The Devil Is a Gentleman - Merci Raines

Meet Me In The Woods - Amarante

Fire - Saint Mesa

Smells Like Teen Spirit - Saint Mesa

Appetite - Casey Edwards

All Things Devour - aeseaes

Throne - Saint Mesa

Witchcraft - Vian Izak

June

The Shrine / An Argument - Fleet Foxes

It’s Tricky - Run

Darjeeling - Barrie

Hollywood Forever Cemetery Sings - Father John Misty

Picture Me Better - Weyes Blood

Loch Lomond - Mackenzi Tolk

Punta - Matzzy

Touch It Clean - DJ Raulito

Oh No - Kreepa

Ancient Dreams in a Modern Land - Marina

Sofia - Askjell

The Boy - Shannon & the Clams

First Steps - Lena Raine

The Power of Balance Rearranged - Rush Garcia

And So My Heart Became a Void - Ursine Vulpine

Paper Mache - Iris Lune

Catch Me If You Can - Desert Belle

Darkroom Double - Moon & Pollution

Serotonin - girl in red

In the Air Tonight - Natalie Taylor

When Your Heart Is a Stranger - Friends In Paris

Moon Effect - Sailor Moon Eternal OST

In A Black Out - Hamilton Leithauser

Forever - CHVRCHES

Way Less Sad - AJR

Helter Skelter - Detention

The Devil You Know - X Ambassadors

TVA - Natalie Holt

Honeybee-The Head and the Heart

Home All Summer - Anthony Ramos

In the Shadows - Amy Stroup

My Way - Lucifer Cast

In the Air Tonight - Jon Howard

The Beast - Old Caltone

The Beast - Delta Rae

Freak Like Me - Adina Howard

Only the Good Die Young - Billy Joel

Winds of Change - Scorpions

good 4 u - Olivia Rodrigo

If I Could See The World - Patsy Cline

Ends of the Earth - Lord Huron 

The Killing Kind - Marianas Trench

Bones - Wens

Kiss Me More - Doja Cat

How Not to Drown - CHVRCHES

July

Dark Moon - Bonnie Guitar

Free Smiles - Tia Ray

Sundown Blues - Joanna Levine

Citta Vuoto - Mina

If You Love Me - Brenda Lee

Very Full - Tom Hiddleston

Loki Green Theme - Natalie Holt

Wrecked - Imagine Dragons

The Wolves - Cyrus Reynolds

Cure For Me - Aurora

Theory of Light - Eternal Eclipse

Fate of the Clockmaker - Eternal Eclipse

Potential Breakup Son - Aly and AJ

transparent soul - travis barker

My Love Will Never DSie - AG, Claire Wyndham

Happy Together - King Princess

Atomise - Temple

Darkside - Oshins

Someone to Watch Over Me - Lucifer Cast

This is Ours - Peter Sivo

Love and War - Fleurie

Take Me To Church - MILCK

Devil I Know - Allie X

East of Eden - Zella Day

Shadow Preachers - Zella Day

Losing My Religion - BELLSAINT

Hard to Kill - Beth Crowley

Dark Side - Blind Channel

Tanz Mit Mir - Faun

My Jolly Sailor Bold - Ashley Serena

Stuttering - Fefe Dobson

August

Monsters and Fairies - Savannah

Chosen - SVRCINA

IAN HA 3BYK - GO A

Freya - Verdandi

Sick on Seventh Strett - Sarah and the Safe Word

Tarah - Sae Sae Norris

Suspicion - Sherwood Roberts

Fjorgyn - Osi and the Jupiter

Fight to Make It Up - Takenobu

The Edge of Dawn - Rozen

Innocence - Cannon Diviision

A Stray Child - .Hack//Sign

The Kiss - Luigi Rubino

Any Kind of Dead Person - Ghost Quartet

The Great Unknown - Dominique Gilbert

Smells Like Teen Spirit - Saint Mesa

over the rainbow - misterwives

Fireflies - Cullen Vance

My mother Told Me - Nati Dreddd

Athetosis - Crywolf

Major Tom - Shiny Toy Guns

Novacaine - 10 Years

Right Here Right Now - Jesus Jones

NDA - Billie Eilish

Trouble’s Coming - Royal Blood

Completing the Circle - Gareth Coker

There’ll Always Be Another Monster - Brian D’Oliveira

POSTED FIC

May

take my hand and i'll drown you with me | Star Wars | Rey & Ben Solo | 2,157 words |  “You brought this upon yourself,” the creature told her, its voice serene.

June

keeping me restless and whole | Loki | Loki/Mobius | 1,584 words | Mobius was very young when he encountered his first Loki.

July

feed me lies until i'm dead | Loki | Thor/Loki | 3,476 words | “Don’t you think we should talk about it?” Thor asks.

the ghost of us can linger here | Loki | Loki/Mobius/Sylvie | 4,432 words | “So, how do you crazy kids want to do this?” Mobius asks them in a stage whisper, mouth twitching. At her back, Loki laughs, burying the sound against the curve of her neck.

there's a whisper in my bones | Loki | Loki/Mobius/Sylvie | 2,794 words |  “All right,” she says. “Fine. Let’s make things more interesting. Take off your clothes.”

east of eden | Loki | Loki/Mobius/Sylvie | 2,202 words |  “How long have you been fucking him?”  Mobius asks, stroking his fingers against the place where leather meets skin.

Triptych in C Minor | Loki | Loki/Mobius/Sylvie | 1,647 words | Pt 1 | There is a house at the end of time, past the last storm, pushed up against the very edge of the unknown. It is a castle, a manor, a fortress - all depending on who inhabits it. But one thing that it never is, is a home.

August

N/A

WIPS | UNPUBLISHED | ORIGINAL

May

2k of Reylo mermay fic

June

N/A

July

1k+ of Xue Yang being a slut for Song Lan and Xiao Xingchen

300 words of vampire Song Lan

7k of Green Knight AU

August

10k of Green Knight AU

1.5k of hair dye shenanigans

FANMIXES/GRAPHICS

May

yearning: a playlist for the heart

June

the chosen and the beautiful: a mix for jordan baker

July 

kings & queens of the ruckus: a mix for loki and sylvie

August

N/A

[swellwriting]

A NEW ORDER - Part 1

- Knowledge meets Power -

Warnings: None.

A/N: Okay so hear me out, this chapter is a lot I know, and it’s necessary to set up the story in future parts!! I promise we will meet Mando soon I just had to get the story building out of the way. Also, I know there’s sexual tension between The Senator and Luke, trust me it serves a purpose (conflicts later on and such). I’m not just trying to sexualize everyone’s favourite Space Twink for no reason lmao.

Summary: Leia & crew visits Chandrila, The Senator meets Luke, books are read, plans are made, Jedi training takes place, young Ben Solo is cute, The Senator leaves Chandrila to start her mission to go to the bounty guild in the Outer Rim.

Word Count: 3.8k   Series Masterlist    Part 2

The New Republic is thriving, and you could not be more proud. Working with the Rebellion to help bring down the Empire, saying goodbye to the Old Republic, issuing the peace treaty with the Galactic Empire which was now in non existence (aside from the parts of the galaxy that remained out of reach of the New Republic where loyal Imperialists fled to hide) and demilitarizing according to the act that was issued following the treaty. 

It was work that made you feel good, confident, the kind of politics you flourished in, knowing that you were on the right side, there were no Palpatine’s rising to power, no Empire in the shadows, just plain politics working just the way they should.

It would probably make you sound insane if you were to tell anyone you were growing bored with it, well maybe there was one sole person who could understand.

“Leia!” You exclaimed as your long-time friend walked into the room. You were in Hanna City in Chandirlla, in the empty building that was sometimes the capital building for the Republic, sat in a large meeting room at a long empty table. Though you were sat alone almost every seat had books in front of it.

“I think you read a little too much,” Leia teased as she sat in the seat beside you and picked up one of the books you had taken from the Republic’s large library of books recovered from the Old Republic.

“I don't think there’s such a thing, with a galaxy so large there’s so much to learn and if we ignore the past history is bound to repeat itself.”

“And what’s your interest in the pasts of the Jedi?” She asks flipping open one of the books which contains the Jedi code.

“I think perhaps it’s an outdated religion, but I could see a resurgence if perhaps more force-sensitive people were to come forward and be willing to work together to create a new and improved Jedi Order, separated from the Republic this time.”

“So not politics related? You must be bored.”

“That’s an excellent way to put it, I feel as if I have achieved everything I aimed to with the New Republic, helping to build it into what it is today and seeing the Empire fall from power. I want to move onto other things.”

“You sound exactly like Luke, I really need to introduce you two,” she teases, knowing you have asked her countless times, then she turns to leave the room.

“You should, I’d love to meet him and see what he’s like. My strength with the force is minuscule but given what he’s accomplished, I’m sure he could teach me a few things.”

“I’ll tell him to come to meet you,” she says, her back still facing you as she leaves the room.

“Leia wait, when? Also, what are you even doing here? The New Republic’s capital was moved to Hosnian prime, you know that? There’s nothing here for you?”

“That’s not true, you’re here and you are the only person high up in the New Republic who will listen to me about the rising threat of the First Order, though small I still don’t trust them ever since they left their wing of the New Republic, they have been lurking in the shadows since, probably growing in the sess pool of the Outer Rim.” Spoken like a true princess.

“True yes, and I understand your concern but there’s nothing I can do besides sending your informative report to those above me, again.”

“And will you, again?” She asks and she has this sly smile, you know you can’t say no to.

“Of course, I’ll send them the report until their datapads crash and their trash compactors are filled.”

“See, that’s why I came to Chandrila! I did live here at one point too if you haven’t forgotten, Ben was born here, we like to visit.” She teases you further, knowing you meant no judgment in your question. You’re walking beside her, down the barren hallways of the fancy building. Hallways that were once bustling with people but the ever-rotating capital stays true to its promise, it is not solely on one planet, travelling from different places in the systems.

“So when do you think you can introduce me to your brother? I'm not all that busy right now, there are no elections coming up, I can travel whenever, wherever.”

“Can you walk outside?” She quips and leaves you standing there confused as she leaves the building, you follow her after a moment, doubling up your steps to catch up with her until the sunshine and the bright purple skies fill your eyes.

You follow her to the familiar-looking Millenium Falcon that’s parked in the Senate houses hangar bay, the ramp is down and you can see Chewy with a four-year-old Ben Solo on his shoulders trying to fix or adjust something on the Falcon.

Han is sat in the grass with Luke standing in front of him talking about something in-depth that looks like it’s boring Han because his head shoots up when he sees the two of you approach.

“Senator!” Han exclaims standing up and dusting himself off.

“Solo!” You say with a cheesy smile as he wraps you in a hug getting some of the dirt he failed to wipe off on your long yellow and white dress.

“I'm Solo too!” Ben yells from the top of Chewy’s shoulders.

“And how is my favourite Solo doing today.” You ask as you look up at Ben.

“I'm great!” He yells with a bright smile from you calling him your favourite.

“Luke, this is our good friend, the one I was talking to you about before we got here.”

“Hi, I’m Luke.” He says with a smile as he walks up to you, offering his hand to shake. You can instantly see the resemblance between him and Leia but Luke smiles different, perhaps a bit more cheery than Leia usually is.

“Hello.” 

“You’re the one Leia mentioned, you can uh, feel the force right?”

“Yes, but as I was telling her it doesn't mean much I don’t have a lot of control over it.” You try to undermine yourself, not wanting to make a big deal of it, something you kept secret for so long was now less taboo and it was hard to get used to even talking about it without it feeling wrong or strange.

“But you want to learn?” He asks and his voice is gentle, he seems kind and he gains your trust too soon.

“I’d like to yes, but I’m afraid I’m rather new to this whole thing, it was something I really kept to myself as I focused on politics and the New Republic.”

“But now her focus is on rebuilding a better and new Jedi Order.” Leia cuts in revealing your plans before you even properly had made them. You open your mouth but close it as no words manage to come out, trying to explain yourself.

“Well I'm new to this too, the teaching aspect, but I can try my best,” Luke assures you with a smile, he is quite sweet.

“Then you can teach me!” Ben yells as he runs to his uncle’s feet.

“Someday sure buddy.” Luke pats Ben’s hair as he looks up at his uncle with total admiration.

You bring Luke inside the Chandrila Senate House and into the meeting room where you have laid out all the books. The ceilings are tall and the walls are smooth stone as daylight pours in through the windows. He follows you in silence. You are too star-struck to talk to him and he finds you far too intimidating to say a thing. Outside when surrounded by his family he felt at ease, you were but a newcomer to him, a stranger asking him for guidance but in here you were like a princess in your palace, quickly maneuvering down the halls, your long dress flowing behind you, posture perfect and steps calculated as if the entire planet was watching you. 

He wondered if that was you unconsciously using the force or if you really just seemed to flow through space like that as if the wind existed just to move your dress as you walked.

“This is a lot of books,” he says as he enters the room behind you and picks a few to look at them, “I have been looking for some of these for a long time, do you think I can borrow them after you’ve read them, or had a droid upload them?”

“Oh,” You say flatly by accident.

“Oh?” He asks.

“I've already read them all actually, that one there I’m reading a second time, the Jedi code, for I think it’s important when building new rules to take a look at the old ones and see what needs changing, so you can take all of them if you’d like.”

“You are writing new rules?” He asks as he flips through the pages of the Jedi Code.

“Yes, I tend to approach things such as this by learning as much as I can, I wrote everything important into my notebook, I can have a droid input it onto a datapad for you if you’d like a copy of that as well?”

“Sure, has Leia mentioned my plans to you?” He asks, confused why you seem to be organizing so many things together to help create a new system and new rules and teachings for a new age of Jedi all on your own.

“No, I just became bored with the New Republic, so this was like a side project I took on, it was meant to be a much smaller thing but I couldn’t help myself.”

“It’s brilliant, I mean, you put a lot of work into something that I’ve been thinking about doing for years. I want to create a new order of Jedi like there was before like my father was in but better.”

“That’s exactly what I was thinking! For what I lack in skill I make up for in knowledge if you need any help I’d be happy to lend a hand in any way I can.”

“Well I can teach you the ways of the force, strengthen your control over it, help you find a lightsabre of your own, and you can share some of that knowledge with me?”

“Perfect!” You exclaim as you take the book from his hands and put it down beside your notebook, taking a seat and offering him the seat beside you. He sits and moves close to you to see what your reading as your fingers trace up the page and over your delicately inked words. It was rare for someone to still use ink and paper when datapads were much more easily available and common.

“So here are a few rules I think need changing, to be more modern. I for one think The Jedi Order should be it’s own sperate entity from the New Republic while also working with them given they are the government in the galaxy, but separate to avoid and repetition... of last time.”

You explain and he nods as you flip the pages to a list of rules that you marked as outdated.

“What’s this rule you rewrote?” He asks and your face heats up as you know exactly which rule it is.

“Oh, yes that one. Well Jedi’s were all strictly ordered under celibacy in the past, and though I agree that not forming attachments is very important to the way of the Jedi I do think Celibacy is unimportant in that factor, as long as there are no attachments involved….” you prolong the last words as you look up from the paper to find he’s already looking at you. His cheeks are flushed pink and his eyes are a bit wide as he nods his head slowly.

“Yeah, I think… I agree with you. Yes,” he manages to get the words out and you can’t help but feel your face heat up at the whole conversation topic.

“Okay, good.” You agree as Luke stands up abruptly. 

“So tomorrow, I’ll meet you back here and we can start your training?”

“Okay, I’ll be here right in the morning after breakfast.”

“Good, um wear something a little less-” Luke tries to explain but can’t find the words as he looks you up and down, your lightly coloured dress that shows your collar bones and shoulders, it puddles at your feet and is tight on your waist, taking over his thoughts

“Less?” You ask, unsure what he means and he quickly stutters to correct himself.

“No, not less. I meant um, wear something less regal, more um, something fit for agility if you have anything… like that”

“Oh, of course,” You say as you both stand in the room awkwardly facing each other, faces hopelessly red, you can feel the nerves flowing between you through the force, neither of you addresses this as he quickly nods and then rushes out of the room.

You stand there for a moment, chest heaving as you catch your breath and calm yourself, thinking over and analyzing each word of the conversation and the dynamic which turned so awkward once you both were alone.

“I can feel the sexual energy in the room, so either you’re going to sleep with my brother or you enjoy reading these books a little too much,” Leia says as she enters the room loudly.

“No, kriff no, Leia I just, we were just. I'm not sexually attracted to books.” You blurt out.

“But you are to my brother.”

“What! No, I ...we were talking about rules and such.”

“That sounds like foreplay when it comes to you.”

“Leia!” You shout covering your face with your hands.

“Relax, I don’t mind, he needs a woman in his life.”

“I'm not trying to sleep with your brother or do anything besides help him bring a new Jedi Order in place and learn the ways of the force from him, nothing more.”

“Personally I think you need a little something more but if you’re fine being married to a library of books I won’t judge, regardless Ben is adamant that you need to have dinner with us, so could you part with your books long enough to eat something?” She asks and you nod, fanning your face briefly as you follow her out the door and to the nice house just outside the capital that they lived in when Ben was first born.

-

Being the Senator of Chandrila meant you never really left, it was convenient when the New Republic was based here but now you just travelled to Hosnian prime whenever they called you to a meeting or connected through holo tech.

You much preferred the quietness that lingered when the Capital of the city was so empty, your council and the few droids that kept the Senate House looking so pristine were the only people still here, aside from the residents.

In the following days, you trained with Luke and discussed the future of the Jedi. Before you knew it he was giving you a lightsabre of your own that used to belong to Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi, Han said he got it from a friend who bought it off a scrapper after the Death Star was destroyed. You had read about Obi-Wan Kenobi and you were glad to have such a respected Jedi Master’s lightsabre, one that was almost lost forever.

It was the last night before your friends were going to leave Chandrila, you were confident in your skills and Luke had a good understanding of the route you two were going to take with this.

“So whats next?” You ask as you sit in the meeting room with Luke once again.

“There’s still a lot of planning to be done, we need to decide on a planet to home the school, a safe location.”

“Any places in mind?”

“Well, I have to do some travelling to find a place, there are also more books and things that I need to track down. But we mostly need students and that’s where I thought you could come in.”

“You want me to find the students?”

“For most of your life you were hiding the fact that you could feel the force, I think you know what it’s like and you are best suited for recruiting, plus your political side makes you hard to argue with. A lot of these people will be children, very young.” He pauses as he senses your nervousness at such a grand task, doubting yourself and your abilities. “I sense so much light within you, so much hope and kindness that I believe you are best to tackle this. If you want to that is.”

“No of course I do! I’d gladly take that job! I’ll take a break from my political duties with the New Republic and with the help of my pilot droid I’ll track down the future students!”

“I have a feeling, though I hope it’s not true, Han had suggested it and ever since I can’t stop thinking about it.”

“What is it?” You ask as you grab his arm, his tone turning more serious.

“You are a competent fighter and stronger with the force than I thought you would be. If I didn’t have faith that you could do this I wouldn't let you but I think the best way to track these children down is to follow rumours, the problem is that the remnants of the empire will also be following these rumours, tracking down these children, putting bounties on them. So you should go to the bounty guild, the one in the Outer Rim and see how many you can get information on. You may run into a bounty hunter or a few while tracking down these kids so be careful. Then when you find them bring them back here in secrecy, this is your planet I’m sure you can keep them safe here until I establish a place for the school.”

“Okay, I’ll follow any intel I can get and I’ll contact you on the holo transmitter I gave you.” You confirm, pointing the holo transmitter you gave him in his hands.

“Great, I’ll keep you updated too and once I find a planet suitable I’ll join you?”

“Okay,” you say and then smile at him, it felt good, this plan felt good. You had a surge of confidence fill your bones, he believed in you and that meant so much.

“So does this make me a Jedi now?” You tease as he gets up and goes to leave the room.

“I grant you the rank of Jedi Knight,” he jokes, though he is being serious the words feel funny on his tongue, being a teacher and a Jedi Master will be weird.

“Jedi Knight, Senator of Chandrila, member of the New Republic, I like all these fancy titles I have.”

“Well, they suit you,” he compliments as he looks over your appearance again, you still have on a fancy dress, it’s light blue and purple which resembles the sunsets on Chandrila, your light sabre is strapped to your thigh under your dress perfectly concealed if not for the high slit in your dress which makes it visible. His eyes trail up your long legs, admiring you before meeting your eyes and then nervously looking away before forcing out a cough. “I better go.”

“Talk to you soon,” you say as you had already said goodbye to your friends earlier. You watch as he walks away, haste in his step as he boards the falcon, picking up Ben who was stood on the ramp waving to you ecstatically. The Falcon doesn't fly away for a few minutes until it reopens again and Luke walks out, his droids close behind him.

You walk down the steps meeting him halfway, Luke runs up to you almost bumping into you.

“Take my droids with you, R2 can help with flying and computers and Threepio can help you with translating and keeping you company.”

“I am fluent in over six million forms of communications!” The tall golden robot says matter of factly.

“I will take good care of them,” you say with a wide smile before closing the space and wrapping your arms around Luke, encasing him in a grateful hug, “thank you.”

“It’s no problem, I wish I could give you more.” He says casually, you notice the holo transmitter is strapped to his belt, keeping it close to him. You were glad to be building this new Jedi Order with Luke, you couldn’t imagine trying to work with anyone else, he was a great teacher, a gentle soul, a bit foolish but strong with the force. 

It gave you hope, this mission should be a breeze! You watched the Falcon fly off and then went to your room to pack up some things and load your ship. You had a Star Yacht, which technically was one of the Chandrila Star Ships but you had total clearance to take yours used for travelling from Chandrila to Hosnian Prime anywhere in the galaxy as you saw fit, no one was going to question your flight plans anyways.

You had a pilot droid which was modelled after the one of a kind droid L3-37 which belonged to Lando Calrissian and got a bit of fame from freeing the slaves on Kessel. When you found the model which only resembled the original droid you had to have it, though none of the personality was shared you were still glad to have a one of kind pilot droid with a personality of her own. You considered hooking her up to the falcon to take what bits of L3 that were integrated when the original droid died, but decided L3 was better off as part of the Falcon, resurrecting droids wasn’t your strong suit anyway. Your droid, L8-39 was a calm droid, precise in her piloting and hated her nickname L8 because she was in fact, never late.

Your ship was just meant to be a travelling ship, a yacht in every sense of the word. There was a bedroom compartment not much less than your actual room in the Senate House, it had a small kitchenette, storage, lots of guest space, a lounge room and was built for comfort and elegance with its shiny chrome exterior.

Though it had a strong shield there were little to no offensive procedures in place, you packed your blaster, your lightsabre and some other handy things that remained after the demilitarization act and decided with your fancy ship, L8, Threepio and R2 you were more than capable.

- Part 2

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[i-write-sometimes-blog]

Earth Girl (Rey x Reader) Two

Request: "Reader traveling the galaxy with Rey? If that makes sense."

"Loved the Earth Girl imagine!!! Would you be able to do a part two please? Maybe when they get back to the resistance base and they debrief the reader and ask her questions about earth and what not? and a lot of fluff with Rey of course!!"

Words: 1, 732

A/N: This was really fun to make! I seriously can keep going and going, it's like I'm writing a escape from my boring life. Hope you guys like this!!! Part one. Let's just pretend the Star wars movies and comics doesn't exist in this world.

“Movies?” Rey asked with a big smile on her face, she was so excited to learn about Earth, how was like to be there, what you eat, everything. “What is that?” was the usual question that came after you mentioned something new for her.

“Like… like a recording and there’s people that act as others” you explained. By that time you had learned that the space and earth wasn’t that different, both had things that were the same but they called in another way, so you tried your best to describe the things to Rey in a way she could understand what they were. “They usually tell stories”

“About what?” she said her eyes focused on your face as she impatiently waited for the answer.

“The past, the present, the future, every sort of stories. The relationship of a royal lady and a boy that fell in love in a big ship that sank in the ocean, for example” you giggled “Everything is possible in a movie.”

“Sounds amazing” Rey told you. “You said there are movies about people from other parts of the galaxy. How do they look like?”

You chuckled, it was still unbelievable for you that you were not longer in earth and instead you were sitting at the edge of a spaceship looking down at the strange scenario of this rebel base where humans, droids and a variety of species of “aliens” passed by. And the truth was the movies didn’t really made justice to this, you didn’t believe a single person back at home would even imagine a thing like that.

“Not like this” you started “Most of them are slim green beings with big black eyes” you couldn’t help but laugh at the memory of those tiny cartoon characters. “None of them looks like you, which is such a shame if you ask me” you told her giving her a wink and eliciting a laugh from the brunette.

“Hey, Rey!” someone yelled. It was the young charming pilot you met the day Rey rescued you, Poe if you remembered good. “Leia is back. Time has come, earth girl” he said referring to you. The General Organa had finally arrived to the base, she would decided if you stay or not with them or if she send you back to your past and boring life.

A few minutes after you were walking through the endless corridors of the Resistance base. The pilot was walking in front of you leading the way, Rey was by your side supporting you, she seemed to be a very protective person and you were glad to have her with you, rescuing you from being sold as a slave was a thing you never pay her. On the other side was the little sphere droid with orange patterns that beeped in a very high pitch something you couldn’t understand, not even with the universal translator on your neck.

“We talked about this, BB-8” you heard Poe said “Earth girl has to go back to her planet”

“Stop calling her that, Poe” said Rey in an almost angry way. “She has a name”

“Yeah, I know” he said annoying Rey. “We’re almost there” he informed you as he nodded towards a big room with a lot of people inside a woman talking to them in a firm tone.

General Leia Organa, Rey talked you about her and as far as you knew she used to be a princess from a planet not longer existed. She also told you about the history of her family and oh boy it was really confusing. Her father was a big bad man that tried to rule the galaxy, she had a twin brother and he was something called a Jedi. You were still processing all the information.

And there she was standing in front of a big crowd not doubting a single word. You waited ‘till her meeting was over and the she came directly to you and shook your hand.

“Y/N, it’s a pleasure to finally met you” she said “Rey and Finn had tell me what happened in that planet, I still cannot believe it” you were a bit confused not exactly knowing how to respond or how to even talk to this kind looking woman.

“Neither do I” you answered forcing a smile.

“General, the interrogation room is ready” informed a soldier behind her.

“Won’t be necessary, she really is from Earth” said Leia

“But, General, we don’t know yet. She could be a spy” continued the man.

“She’s not” said firmly the General, and thanked that she was on your side. “Give some clothes to this girl, she need to be unnoticed. Gods know what could happen if someone else finds out where is she from” she ordered with a soft smile on her face before turning around. The doubt invaded you.

“Wait” you called out and she faced you. “What’s going to happen now? why is it so important to be from earth? I don’t understand why people get so surprised about it.” since the very start you were wondering that, why people wanted so desperate to buy a human from your overpopulated planet?

Leia sighed before she raised her voice again.

“The Milky Way is a forbidden galaxy, your solar system is the only one with an inhabited planet, often taken for a myth.” She explained “My dear child, please don’t tell anybody where you’re from, for your own good. I’ll try to find a way to take you back to your home but for now my hands are tied” she said. How kind was this woman.

“Thanks” you told her, this was too much information. That was why the scientist never had found anything in the planets nearby, and you were the only one that knew that, you were sure they would take you as a crazy back in home if you’d tell them that.

“So what should we do with her for now?” asked Poe that had been quietly listening.

“I believe Rey can answer you that, Poe” she smiled “I like that plan, take her there, Rey” General Organa said before she was gone. You looked at Rey, what plan? she hadn’t even speak. It was like she had read her mind or something, you wasn’t sure but at this point it wouldn't be surprising if they told you that was a possible thing to do.

“So?” you asked Rey as she smiled back at you.

“Takodana” she said.

“What’s that?” now it was you who was making questions about how this world so far away from yours worked.

“A planet, you’re gonna like it, Y/N” she said and gestured over the exit door as she offered you her hand, without blinking you took her hand and she guided you outside to met the ship she had rescued you and now you knew it was called the Millenium Falcon and used to be Han Solo’s a rebel hero from the past war, who was also Leia’s husband and they had a son.... Well, this family was really chaotic, and you used to think that one movie with a girl that didn’t know who of the three men was her father was confusing.

Everything here was much more interesting that in your own planet, better than the same old routine everyday, the empty life you had and even though you were unfamiliar with mostly everything around you it felt more like living, as if all those years back on earth you hadn’t being alive until now, running holding hands with this beautiful and kind woman.

And then you were traveling through space with her, looking the hypnotic view of the lightspeed. You felt Rey’s gaze focused on you and seeing from the corner of your eyes you caught her smiling softly at you, as if she was watching a kid seeing snow from the first time, and you felt like that if you were honest.

“Takuduna” you said looking at her.

“Takodana” Rey corrected you giggling.

“Why this planet?” you told her still exploring the ship with your eyes, there were too many buttons and levers.

“I like it” she said “It has a lot of green and blue, a nice weather and we have a friend that lives there” she said, her words denoting true happiness by this planet.

“You born in this place?” you asked.

“No, I don’t know where I was born” she said with a sad tone “I used to live in Jakku” you were so curious about her, you wanted to know everything about this woman.

“And how is Jakku?”

“It’s a desert, sand everywhere, a powerful sun that really burn your skin and makes you sweat a lot. You wouldn’t like it, Y/N” she said

“That’s why you left?” you interrogated.

“No, I… I wasn’t gonna leave but I found BB-8” she started, her words having trouble to leave her lips. You knew this part of the story, Finn told you about how he met Rey and what happened next.

“Why you stayed in that planet then, Rey?” you tried to helped a bit.

“I was waiting for my family but” she paused “They just didn’t come” you cursed yourself in your mind as you saw how sad Rey looked now.

“Sorry” you said as you got closer to Rey.

“It’s okay” she said. Suddenly the ship got out of lightspeed and revealed a planet that looked very similar to yours, except that you couldn’t actually tell if there were continentes but it reminded you of earth.

“For a moment I thought you brought me back home” you told Rey and her eyes filled with desire to learn once again.

“Earth looks like this?” she asked as she glanced at the planet.

“Kind of” you said and Rey sat at the pilot seat to fly the ship to the green planet.

“I would like to see it” she murmured “Y/N, your home sounds so great” she said.

“You wouldn’t like it, Rey” you said repeating her words. “Believe me once you put a feet there you’ll hate it. This is much better” you said smiling at her. ��Traveling with you, I really like it” you saw her smile growing bigger as she reached to taker your hand.

“And you haven’t seen anything, yet”

[damn-daemon]

Critical Mass - Prologue

(While I’m still writing this for NaNo, I have no self control - @chuck-hansens​ did this to me. This isn’t the final version, but please let me know what you think!)

Ring of Kafrene

It had once been a populous mining site, home to a multitude of cultures and corporations, but the collapse of the Empire lead to many of the mines being closed down – no more Death Stars to build after all – and the area fell into disrepair. The Hutts attempted to take control of the area, but their reach had dwindled over the past decade, leaving the station in the hands of local gangs. It had become a hotbed of illegal activity – not that things had been easygoing under Imperial rule – with a reputation that rivaled some of the Outer Rim worlds.

So, of course his person of interest would be holed up here. 

Poe Dameron sighed as he stepped into the space port, vaguely paying attention as the docking clamps ground into place. The old, two-seater freighter was a far cry from his T-70, but the point of the mission was to not draw attention to himself. Also to preferably not get his ship stolen. An X-Wing wouldn’t last more than an hour in this space port. He didn’t even think the freighter would, and that rusting block hadn’t seen active service since before the Clone Wars. 

BB-8 rolled up beside him, gently nudging his boot and whistling softly. 

“Yeah, buddy, I’m starting to think I should have left you home too,” he replied.

The air was stale and stank of grease, oil, and other things he’d rather not think about. Most of the equipment was retrofitted mining machinery with exposed wires and layers of rust. Something electrical was sparking on the far end of the docking bay, and there was a lone astromech lying on the ground. Occasionally it beeped, but no one seemed to care. 

Inside the station was bound to be interesting. 

“I wouldn’t linger, if I were you.”

Poe turned to the bay doors, finding them open and occupied by a dark green Rodian. He was tapping on a datapad. 

“This level’s got a faulty grid. Power tends to cut and then you’re off for a nice – if brief – space trip.”

Panicking, BB-8 cried, launching a cable into the nearest wall. 

Poe pat the poor droid before walking to the doors. Eventually, he heard the sound of his friend rolling behind him – and then rapidly in front of him. 

“What’s my docking fee?” he asked, feeling a small amount of relief when the doors closed behind him. 

“Hundred fifty credits first day. One hundred for every day after.”

“And what’s the fee if I don’t want my ship to go mysteriously missing?”

If Rodians were capable of smiling, the one before him would be grinning from ear to ear. 

“Add another fifty credits on top,” the Rodian replied, accepting his credit chit. “Here I thought you were another one of those Core pilots. Come to this heap looking for adventure, and they lose everything but the clothes on their backs. Sometimes, they lose those too.”

“I used to be,” Poe said, walking down the narrow corridor. He ignored the way the lights flickered as he walked by, as well as what could be described as whimpering on BB-8’s part. 

The doors at the end opened slowly, grinding on gears that were undoubtedly rusted as well, revealing an unusual world. 

The Ring of Kafrene was an outpost that connected two asteroids. There was no atmosphere, gravity, or vegetation. It was rock and metal, a self-contained unit that relied heavily on trade to keep running. Problem was, Kafrene didn’t lie on any well-traveled trade routes. Without the allure of a thriving mining community, most vessels moved on to safer, better known stops. 

Metal towers, conduits, and piping shot upward for as far as Poe could see. The air was thick with steam and other chemicals being churned into the atmosphere out of various vents, clouding the passageways so that there always appeared to be a fog. Everything was a shade of brown, and he doubted that it started that way. 

Outside the few windowpanes, ships drifted outside. As did garbage.

Aliens of every type shuffled around the area, some in piloting gear, others armed to the teeth, a few sat on the ground begging for spare credits. A bounty hunter dragged a shouting Dug through the crowd. No one reacted. Most just moved along, quiet and plodding. It was another day for them. 

“Maybe I still am,” he whispered. 

He wandered with the crowd for some time, actively keeping BB-8 in front of him – only three passersby attempted to interact with the droid, each met with the same number of volts – until he came across the cantina he was looking for. At least it smelled like something remotely edible over the same stale air. 

A young Twi’lek held her hand up as he entered the space, looking him over like she could smell the offworlder on him. 

“We don’t serve droids here.”

Poe looked down at BB-8, who looked up at him. They both looked at the droid working behind the bar, serving drinks and making programmed small talk. 

“Well, I’ve never seen a droid eat anything.”

Her eyes glazed over, pupils momentarily scraping the top of her head, before she sighed and moved on, handing drinks over to a rowdy table of miners. 

Poe shrugged, and sauntered up to the bar, taking a seat on one of the stools.

And there he waited. 

Time passed slowly, and Poe had to actively restrain himself from constantly checking the door. General Organa’s mission layout was simple: the contact would come to him. He wasn’t to move until then. 

Three days ago, C-3PO received an encoded message from one of his contacts – frankly, the idea that a protocol droid had an underground spy network at his proverbial fingertips was still strange to him – detailing a curious event that had occurred on Canto Bight. It alleged that a First Order operative had gone rogue. Leia had decided to err on the side of caution until yesterday when 3PO received a second transmission from this space port. 

It was potentially the largest lead on the First Order they had ever received – someone who was actually on the inside, and actively seeking a way out – yet Leia had still offered him a choice. It would be dangerous – and was possibly a trap – and if he felt the risk was too great, then they would leave it be. 

“It’s like you don’t know me, General,” he’d said with a smile. “I haven’t met a risk yet that wasn’t worth the effort.”

Her smile wasn’t quite there. “Sometimes, Dameron, I wish you had.”

He’d spent the entire trip mulling over those words. 

The Gran that had been occupying the bar since he arrived stood to leave, mumbling some obscenities as he shuffled toward the door. That left Poe alone at the bar – nearly alone in the cantina minus the miner party – and a little sullen at that. A crowded place was better for meeting. Here might have been downright suspicious. 

He chanced a glance at the door. 

“You humans never were good at being subtle.” 

Poe looked back to the droid behind the bar. It was a tall, thin thing, with one red sensor that watched him. Perhaps the only thing not rusting in the area, it still maintained a metallic sheen. Someone had jokingly tied a bow tie to what would have been its neck region. 

“Excuse me?” 

The entire time, the droid had been speaking in simple phrases, exhibiting a simple etiquette programming, but that appeared to have been a ruse on its part. 

“Your species fidgets too much. It has a low tolerance for sitting still. Imagine how little would get done if a droid acted the same way.”

Poe lowered his voice. “Are you…?”

He could have sworn the droid looked disappointed. “Were you expecting something organic?”

You know, he really didn’t have an answer for that. 

Poe waited as the droid continued cleaning the bar top, now acutely aware of how much movement his body was making. He continually caught his fingers tapping on the counter-top and would put his hands on his lap, only then his knee would start bouncing. BB-8 had grabbed his foot with a little claw to keep it still. 

“You’re not helping.”

The droid whistled shrilly.

Poe pointed a finger at him. “That was rude.”

Eventually, the bar droid placed a small cup in front of him without a word. Poe watched it briefly, but it no longer acknowledged him, chirping out a chipper greeting to a Talz that had just entered. 

Inside the cup was a small data drive.

Poe watched it a moment, wondering if he shouldn’t pretend to take a drink. Instead, he counted to one hundred, grabbed the drive, and made his way out of the cantina. 

The crowds had died down slightly, apparently having gone through a shift change when he first entered. Still, there was a steady current of aliens traveling down the narrow passageways. Poe let himself be directed by them, hoping to blend in as much as possible until he chanced upon a more private setting. 

They passed through a small market place, where the citizens of the station haggled over used equipment and fried food. The walk became suffocating as it was apparent that the stalls had not initially been considered as part of the station’s original layout, leaving the travelers packed shoulder to shoulder. 

A small fist fight broke out, knocking over a fruit stand. This led to several individuals grabbing the wayward Jogan fruit and making a run for it, leaving the owner cursing in what he thought was Huttese. 

Poe took the momentary chaos as an opportunity to stray from the beaten path, taking a narrow passageway that was lined with piping and probably served as more of a maintenance access. It widened out at the middle, opening up to a chamber that was filled with steam drifting from various vents rising up through dozens of levels. BB-8 just barely managed to roll through, leaving him somewhat confident that they would be alright for the time being. 

“Alright, buddy,” he said, taking a knee before BB-8 and handing out the drive. “Let’s see what you can make of this.”

BB-8 beep in acknowledgement, taking the drive. It only took a moment for his systems to process the data, producing a hologram of a still image – a young woman looking over her shoulder, face slightly blurred – and a few sentences of info. 

“Arrived on the station in an unauthorized Republic ship,” Poe mumbled, confused by how random the information seemed to be. “Logs wiped clean. Dock personnel unable to locate. Incident on level eighty-two involving half a dozen casualties potentially tied to her. I don’t know, this seems like a lot of loosely connected stuff. How do we know it’s her?”

His droid whistled and another image appeared, this one dated for the incident in Canto Bight. The projection wasn’t nearly as clear as the first, but Poe could tell it was clearly the same woman. 

“Alright,” Poe acknowledged, standing up at the holograms disappeared. “So, now we just have to find her…in the middle of all this. Yeah, no problem.”

The droid beeped.

“Yes, I know I said it would be worth it.”

Poe ran a hand over his face. It wouldn’t have been the first time he was wrong. 

“Is that a BB-series astromech?!” 

Startled by the sudden voice, Poe almost pulled the blaster hidden in his jacket, but was able to restrain himself long enough to get a good look at the boy that was now watching them from the opening. 

He couldn’t have been older than ten, staring at them with curious hazel eyes and a grin nearly too big for his face. His blonde hair stuck up in all directions, his clothes were covered in grease and grime, and in his hand, he held a single Jogan fruit, clearly having taken advantage of the tussle as well. 

BB-8 whistled, his head bobbing back and forth like a proud little shake. 

“How did you get one here?” the boy asked, darting out from the narrow passageway and fallen to his knees in front of the droid. “Last decent looking droid I saw got scrapped for parts within the hour.”

Ignoring the cries of panic from his friend, Poe actually smiled at the kid. At least someone around the area hadn’t had their spirits dampened yet. 

“Beebee-Ate isn’t about to go down with out a fight, and trust me, this guy’s got a lot of it in him,” he replied, patting the droid.

“Has he seen a lot of action?”

Poe shrugged. “A skirmish or two. Nothing he couldn’t handle.”

BB-8 was practically humming from the attention. 

The boy looked up at him. “So, you’re not from around here. Why come to this place? We’re not exactly near anything.”

“Business.”

“What kind of business?”

Poe felt his eyes narrowing. “What’s with all the questions, kid?”

The boy shrugged, taking a bite from the Jogan. “I have to ask them.”

“Why?”

“I needed to distract you somehow,” he replied, eyes landing on something that was definitely behind him. 

Poe didn’t even get the chance to reach for his blaster before something struck the back of his knee, hard, and his leg crumpled to the ground. The other leg followed suit as something struck it as well, except when it hit the ground, he felt a mass remain there, applying pressure to his calf. It felt like a knee. 

An arm wrapped around his neck, squeezing. The pressure wasn’t enough to render him unconscious, but warned that the outcome was possible if he didn’t comply. 

A shot fired, an electrical burst striking BB-8. The poor droid short-circuited, his components shooting out haphazardly before his systems automatically shut down to prevent further damage to his internal drives. 

“Hey! What are you-” Poe choked as the arm squeezed tighter, making his vision pulse. He held his hands up in surrender. “Okay. Okay.”

The boy frowned. “Sorry.”

He felt the attacker’s hand reach under his jacket, securing the blaster. 

“Can I have it?” the boy asked, face lighting up briefly before he assumed the attacker gave him a look. The frown returned. “Okay.”

“So, I take it you’re the fugitive from the First Order, right?” Poe asked, risking further damage to himself, but the arm did not squeeze again. “I mean, you have to be. You’re not asking for any credits.”

There was no response.

“You didn’t shoot me, which is nice. Means you don’t want me dead. And if you don’t want me dead, that means I have something you want, right?”

Still nothing. 

“You know, I’ve never been good at these guessing games. You’re gonna have to speak u-”

Their free hand slapped against his forehead, pulling his head back until he had a good – albeit upside down – view of their face. 

And there she was, the woman in the hologram. 

She was young, somewhere around his age, though the stern look on her face made her look older. Her dark hair was falling out of a bun, framing a bruised face – the incident wasn’t completely one sided then – and equally dark eyes. 

“Do all members of the Resistance talk this much?”

“No. Just me,” he mumbled. “I’ve been told it’s a problem.”

She sighed and shoved his head forward again.

“Get the droid,” she ordered. The boy dropped his fruit and immediately went to BB-8, pushing all his components back in place.

Poe watched it happen, slowly moving his free leg to the side. If he could just knock her off balance, he might have a chance. 

When the time felt right, he clasped her arm with both hands and pushed with his leg, careening them both to the side. Using his weight against her, Poe made her land on her back, the force of his shoulders striking her chest causing her arm to release him. 

He scrambled out of her grasp, rolling to the side, but the woman recovered fast. Poe felt her hands grasp the back of his jacket, halting his escape attempt and pulling him back. She swung her leg over his body, sitting on his chest, this time not bothering to ease the pressure. Breathing was difficult. 

She pointed a blaster at him. 

“Using the stun setting within two feet of a target causes irreparable damage to the nervous system,” the woman said, the words tumbling from her mouth without a single inflection, as if she was reciting it from a lesson. “You won’t be doing that again.”

Poe Dameron couldn’t help but wonder if General Organa wasn’t suddenly feeling smug at that moment.

@marvelousthronewars​ Look a present for youuuuu.

[serceleste]

tagged by @rain-sleet-snow !

Author Name: celeste9

Fandoms You Write For: I’ve written for quite a few over the years but right now mostly Star Wars, and then MCU.

Where You Post: These days, just AO3, and sometimes snippets or short random stuff on Tumblr.

Most Popular One-Shot:  By far it’s No More Secrets, and it continues to boggle my mind how often it still shows up in my daily kudos emails, 5 years later! It’s a Merlin/Arthur (BBC Merlin) kidnapping leads to magic reveal fic I wrote for a gift exchange after I had already begun falling out of love with the ship, and it’s one of those things where I’m absolutely thrilled people loved it so much but it’s not one of my own personal favorites, so.

Most Popular Multi-Chapter Story: In a Palace by the Lake, what I think of as the secret Prince Finn fic, lol. Not that surprising it was popular, it’s mutual pining where Finn’s a Force-sensitive prince and Poe is the idiot in love with him, ha. It was posted fall 2016, so it missed the true heyday of stormpilot frenzy but was still early enough that it was a genuine fandom juggernaut at the time.

Favorite Story You Wrote: Oh, damn, I don’t know. I judge everything I write but it’s nice to realize that there are stories I genuinely love, even if I always think they could have been improved. So I could name a number of fics here, but the first one I always think of is This Is the Road to Ruin (We Started at the End), my Finn/Poe/Rey/Kylo Ren First Order AU. It remains the longest and most ambitious thing I’ve ever written, and I’m honestly still really proud of it.

Story You Were Nervous to Post: All of them!

How Do You Choose Your Titles: I keep a list of song lyrics and poetry I can dip into, and when that fails usually something fairly generic from the fic itself.

Do You Outline: Nope, who has time for that?? I fly by the seat of my pants!! And it probably shows, lol. In seriousness, I write as stuff comes to me and then go back and fill in the blanks where needed, and I do put forethought into where I’m trying to go, but just in my head, never in a structured outlining way.

Complete: 541 fics on AO3, plus IDK how many drabbles and 3 sentence fics and other assorted tiny things I never posted there, and there’s a handful of cringey things I never bothered moving over from ffnet.

In-Progress: lol, this will take a while!

- Poe/Rey pwp

- Finn/Poe/Rey touch starvation

- time travel Poe/Rey + Kylo/Ben

- canon AU where Muran shows up alive, Finn/Poe + Poe/Muran

- canon AU Poe/Kare/Iolo where Iolo doesn’t join the Resistance with them

- SW/MCU fusion Bucky/Finn/Poe/Rey

- Poe/Luke where Poe went to Ahch-To

- dark Rey/Poe where Rey gains control of the FO and defeats the Resistance, capturing Poe in the process

- Finn/Kylo redemption fic involving hugs

- Finn/Poe undercover fake married

- Poe/Jess friends with benefits

- Finn/Poe leaning into the age difference

- Poe/Kylo where Poe goes undercover to the FO to try to turn Kylo back to the light

- sequel to the Prince Finn fic

- Poe/Leia through the events of the Poe comic up to the end of TFA

- sort of a Leia & Luke epistolary fic, letters she never sent him while he was missing

- Finn/Poe/Rey stranded on a planet with Luke

- vague possible follow up to the darkjedistormpilot First Order AU where they find the Resistance

- that Inside Llewyn Davis Llewyn/OMC fic I started once

- I have tons of little snippets of stuff that may or may not ever get turned into actual fics, Rey/Jess, Rey/Poe, Finn/Poe, Poe/Hux, Poe/Ben(Kylo), Finn/Poe/Rey, Poe/Leia, Poe/Jess...

- I have a lot of partially finished fics from old fandoms and/or fandoms I still write for but are just so old that I’ve forgotten where I was going with them, and it feels sad to admit they’re never going to be finished, especially the ones that had a lot of words!

Coming Soon/Not Yet Started:

- I still want to write the “5 times Finn wouldn’t let Poe blow something up + 1 time he did” fic

- I have a bit of something I cut from another fic I always meant to recycle into a developing relationship Rey/Jess fic

- still want to turn a snippet into a “5 times Poe and Lando had a one night stand + that time they realized five one night stands might be a relationship” fic

- always meant to write my Poe/Black One fic

- sometimes I think about the Finn/Rey figure skater/hockey player AU I wanted to write while I was in the middle of an exchange

- the dream I had where Bucky was rescuing tied-up bearded Steve wearing the stealth Cap uniform really wants to be a fic

- I never wrote the Leia/Holdo/Poe fic of my dreams

- I’m always thinking about crossovers

- ...I have a lot of ideas, okay

Do You Accept Prompts: I do, but I’ll be honest, if you prompt me at the moment I’m not going to write it, I’m lucky if I churn out a couple hundred words on the weekend and I still have likely unattainable goals of finishing some ST related WIPs before Ep IX comes out.

Upcoming Story You Are Most Excited to Write: tbh right now I’m excited whenever any words at all get produced, it’s a low bar

[hartlessfiction]

can you rec me some good stuff??

Oh boy! I’m not sure what you’re looking for when you say ‘good stuff’ but I’ll do my best!

Supernatural- Destiel

Anna’s Dad by @mscaptainwinchester​

Raiting: E - Word Count: 35,000When Charlie talked him into joining the prom committee, Dean was not happy about it. He’s not even interested in going to prom, let alone planning it. But a meeting at committee chairman Anna Novak’s house changes all that. When Dean meets her smoking hot dad, a punk gothic god covered in the most alluring tattoos, it alters his entire perspective. Now he’s hanging out with Anna all the time and finding every excuse to flirt with her gorgeous dad.Castiel Novak swore off romantic relationships when his mate died a decade ago. Now he writes novels, throws lavish Halloween parties, and drinks with his fuck-buddy, Meg. When he meets Anna’s stunning friend, Dean, all his determination to keep emotions out of the equation goes flying out the window. Now it’s all he can do to keep his hands to himself in the face of relentless temptation.Will Dean ever get to see how far down Mr. Novak’s tattoos go? Will Castiel get over his hang-ups and let Dean in? Or will they both go their separate ways without ever knowing if their explosive chemistry could be more than just a tryst behind the pool shed? Featuring sexist classmates, a champion robot named Leia, growly alphas, and a prom theme from Hell (er… Hogwarts).

One Thousand and Ninety-four Days Verse by @envydeanwrites​

Rating: E - Word Count 3,313 - Series w/ 3 fic’s still growingIn which Dean and Cas are in prison. Castiel Novak, murderer, cell mate and servicer. He doesn’t do it because he has to, he does it because he loves it. Nobody makes Castiel Novak do anything. Not in this joint.

Queer Eye for the “Straight” Guy by JessJesstheBest

Rating: G - Word Count: 6,945“Hi, and welcome to Queer Eye for the Straight Guy: celebrity edition. Where instead of the Fab Five, who are all experts in their fields, you have me, Dean Winchester, a bisexual hockey player who is slightly above average at these things.”

“Today’s victim is Castiel Novak: world renowned etymologist specializing in honey bees. His latest research publication is receiving all kinds of awards so he’s going to have a little celebration tonight. That’s where I’m here to help.”

Good Hands by aileenrose

Rating M - Word Count: 13,238Cas is the owner of a failing—and falling apart—B&B.

Dean might be able to help with that. Dean’s good with his hands.

Unexpected by @bloodandcream​

Rating E - Word Count: 3192Grunting, Castiel squirmed, pulling at the handcuffs until they hurt. Flinched as Dean stroked a hand gently down his thigh, took him into that lying mouth, soft heat and wonderful pressure as he sucked down, down.

Somehow, this was the most unexpected turn of the night yet.

In It For The Long Haul by @ltleflrt​

Rating: E - Word Count: 25,495Long haul trucking can be a lonely business. Sure, Dean can chat up other drivers on the CB, and when Sam’s not in class or drowning in homework he’ll let Dean talk his ear off on the phone. But it’s still hours and hours of staring at the road and scanning the radio dial for local stations because he’s too lazy to upgrade the truck to satellite radio. And then a flirty waiter in a 24 hour truck stop restaurant sits down with him to chat while he eats his dinner, and suddenly his life no longer feels quite so empty.

Photography doesn’t pay much, and insomnia is a bastard. Which is why Castiel accepts his cousin’s offer of employment at the truck stop restaurant. The graveyard shift is perfect for his fucked up sleep schedule, and Gabriel doesn’t mind if he sneaks a free meal now and then. Besides, all the most interesting people come into the restaurant in the middle of the night. Including the gorgeous man with the sad green eyes that makes Castiel want to pull out all the stops to make him smile.

The Dic Pic Verse by @dangerousnotbroken​

Rating: E - Word Count: 67,550 -Multi Fic Verse CompleteIn which Dean Winchester gets an unsolicited dick pic from an unknown sender which is both totally not disappointing in that it’s a really nice dick pic, and incredibly disappointing in that it’s clearly a downloaded picture of his favorite porn star.

There’s absolutely no way it’s actually this porn star sending it to him, right?

Right?

A Flash of Black and Gold by @osirisapollo​

Rating: G - Word Count: 2,094Gabriel is acting very strange when Castiel gets to the Great Hall for breakfast. It’s easy enough to ignore, until Dean Winchester starts acting strange as well.

Wisteria by @unforth-ninawaters​

Rating E - Word Count 3,379Tumblr ficlet written in response to the prompt: So what about witch or mage dean who accidentally enchants his plants in a spell gone twisted. So what about witch or mage dean who accidentally enchants his plants in a spell gone twisted. The kinkier the better.

The Guy by @mscaptainwinchester​

Rating: E - Word Count 2,803Castiel’s boss is convinced that he would be perfect for her son, and is determined to get him to come to the Christmas party so they can meet. Castiel is still hung-up on his first and only one-night-stand. Or more specifically his dick.

The Unspoken Rule by @spnhell​

Rating E - Word Count 14,205Dean’s just a boy the first time he travels, wrenched through time and space only to be found by a strange man, one that never seems to age no matter how many years pass. He grows up with Cas, with their snatched moments in the spiral of time, and what starts as friendship eventually starts to grow into something more.

Revealed by Valinde (Valyria)

Rating: E - Word Count 10,822When a ritual backfires and Dean ends up with wings, they reveal things that he’d much rather keep hidden. Prompt fill.

And Cause After putting this whole list together I’d like to think you’d want to read my fic’s too… so:

Magical Misconceptions by @hartlessfiction

Rating: G - Word Count: 7,991This came about from the following prompt on Discord, which was then playfully dubbed the ‘NotAWitch!Cas’ Verse: “Me, in my cottage, in front of the wood stove, sipping tea. Looking outside, my bees are pollinating my expansive garden. My goats and chickens and cows are happy and safe. I feel content with my choices and my future. I unconditionally and recklessly love myself. The local children believe I am a witch"  The prompt is in first person POV but the fic is not written in the first person, it’s from Cas’s pov. I hope you enjoy this warm and fuzzy holiday season themed fic with so much beautiful art by FoxyMoley.

That’s Why I’m Your Sweetheart by @hartlessfiction

Rating: T - Word Count: 2,839Dean didn’t think his life could get any better. He had the mate of his dreams, a really nice apartment in the heart of the city, and a comfortable position at one of the leading architectural firms. At least that’s what he thought when he stepped off the elevator after a long, late shift at the office. The smell of cookies baking is supposed to make a man feel happy and hungry, but to Dean’s sensitive nose it sparks a warning bell. There’s no other explanation for it, Cas is stress baking.

The Battle by @hartlessfiction

Rating G - Word Count: 770The silence should have been Gabriel’s first sign that something was off. When you have two six-year-old boys in the house, it should never, ever, not even for one moment, be quiet.

Teen Wolf -Sterek 

(only cause i’ve been really into this recently)

Parallels by inatshej

Rating: E - Word Count: 21,299Stiles slowly pulls in a mouthful of curly fries, dumbly focused on the task.’'It’s weirdly homoerotic how you do this,” muses Derek, eyeing him.Stiles chokes and Derek’s lips curl up into an almost smile. It’s so easy to get the reaction he wants from Stiles.“Yeah, it’s disgusting, Stilinski,” says Jackson, looking at the boy with distaste.Derek turns to him, letting his eyebrows rise. “And who asked you, Whittemore?”Jackson glances at him, surprised. “I’ve just agreed with y-”“No one cares,” Derek interrupts him. “Fuck off.”

Love Runs Wild by DevilDoll

Rating: E - Word Count: 9,494“You’ve got a hickey on the back of your neck!” A Neckz 'n Throats story.Or the one where Stiles shows up fro work as a model for Neckz ‘n Throats with a hickey on his neck and Derek doesn’t take it well.

Free Consultation by DevilDoll

Rating E - Word Count: 12,691Stiles Stilinski, professional knotting surrogate. Derek Hale, lonely Alpha.

Hunger by DiscontentedWinter

Rating: M - Word Count: 55,382Beacon Hills.Two lost souls.A homeless boy, a lone wolf, and people who will stop at nothing to destroy them both.

Do Not Go Gentle by MojoFlower

Rating: E - Word Count: 195,867Derek Hale, Beacon Hills Alpha and Dom, wakes up in a dark cell already housing another captive – a mute, traumatized sub with a cruel collar around his neck. His only goal is to get them both free of their brutal circumstances; but even as he tries to get his young companion home, a bond between them grows. Nothing comes easily: danger and harrowing echoes of their ordeal shadow every step they take.

Red Witch by rootbeer

Rating T - Word Count: 34,271The red hair of a banshee. The red eyes of an alpha. The red hoodie of a mage. The red of fire burning.Derek Hale has been a prisoner to the hunters since they burned his family alive. But now someone has come to save him: skinny, defenseless Stiles–147 lbs of skin and fragile bones. Turns out, sarcasm isn’t his only weapon.

The One with the Mail-Order Brides and A/B/O Dynamics by Stoney

Rating: E - Word Count: 16,149Wolves aren’t meant to be alone. Laura tells Derek this repeatedly. Which… is why Derek knows he’s losing his mind, as Laura has been dead for more than six years. Wolves aren’t meant to be alone.And so he sends away for a companion. JUST for a companion, not for a mate. The universe, however, has a different plan in store for him.

Ok Nonny, I hope that tides you over for a while…. 

slinks off back into the bowels of the internet.

[kyloswarstars]

Mamma Mia!

Star Wars, Request AU

Request: can I request a modern!kylo ren x reader based on mamma mia!(Sophie’s plot) thankkk youuu

Pairing: Kylo Ren Organa x Reader

Warning: none (but swearing as always)

Words: 6.2K

A/N: First I was like „okay, who could be reader’s parents“, but then I was like „nah, I should do Sophie’s plot with Kylo of course…“ (idk if the request was meant that way in the first place anyways 🙈) Honestly, this was the hardest request yet (or story in general), but it was also super fun to write. I hope you can enjoy it! 😊 @buried-in-books thanks a lot for the amazing beta work 🤩💐 Any similarities to other writers’ work are not intended. All ideas used in a fanfiction I post are made up in my brain (as long as it is not a request).

∞ Tag: @lokey-bucky-stevey

/////

No matter how exhausting the last days of college for this semester had been, it couldn’t kill your positive vibes. It felt like your body was constantly producing a high amount of endorphins. It felt like this for nearly over a year now, ever since you had met Kylo on that rainy day where your dad’s jeep broke down on your drive around the island.

The jeep got repaired, though. Since you moved to O’ahu, your dad gave up on getting it back ever again and left it to you. It had been to his benefit: he could finally buy that new truck he always wanted and didn’t have to feel too guilty about it.

The drive from the city, directly to Kylo’s place, was too long today – even with your good mood; or was it because of your good mood? You had just finished the last exam, which meant it was officially summer break for you. It also meant there were only two days left until your wedding. Then the dork of a surfer dude would be your husband. You couldn’t wait for it anymore.

May was nearly over, still, there came in some good waves if you were patient enough to wait for them. Kylo was. He wasn’t a patient guy at all – the best example was the proposal at Christmas after roughly five months of knowing each other – but when it came to surfing, he was the personified patience. You pulled into the hostel parking lot, parked the jeep and walked around the building. Nine out of ten times he would be in the water when you arrived, whether it was surfing for fun or teaching it to some backpackers.

You couldn’t stand sand in your shoes, so you took them off and carried them along the beach. It was warm enough to wear shorts and a top, it was actually pretty warm – the summer started early this year. Wind blew over the beach, and it ruffled up your hair but that was okay. The wind brought a wave that revealed Kylo on his surfboard. He surfed it right to the beachside – that could only mean he had spotted you on the beach once again. Kylo had eyes like a hawk: he always noticed you approaching the water.

When your bare feet met the wet sand Kylo grabbed the surfboard under his arm and took the last few steps out of the water – with a huge, bright grin on his lips. The water must have a decent temperature for him to surf without a wetsuit. He dropped the board to the sand and slammed his arms around you. You’re clothes got soaked by his wet body. Kylo loved to do this every time you appeared on the beach when he was in the water. He swayed with you, tightly in his arms, from one to the other side.

„I missed you,“ Kylo whispered into your ear. The water in his hair dripped into yours.

„It’s only been like six hours.“

He broke the hug to look down at you. Kylo was so madly in love with you that even six hours were too long. He couldn’t remember anymore how he survived the three and a half months after your summer break until you finally moved to O’ahu. To be honest: he didn’t even want to think about it because he planned on never being so long apart from you ever again.

Kylo placed a kiss on your lips and another one on your forehead, then returned to staring at your face. Before you, he never knew that he could admire cheekbones and a jawline so much, or dark circles from weeklong studying for exams and simultaneously working at the gas station.

Your face was the only thing he wanted to look at for the rest of his life. Kylo would be alright if he couldn’t see the ocean anymore, or the sunset and the sunrise, as long as he was able to look at you. He didn’t want to miss a day where he could see your soul shine through your eyes right at him. You never did that with someone else, only with him, and that made it even more mesmerizing.

„Oi, Y/N!“ Behind Kylo appeared two guys you hadn't noticed before because your eyes had only been on him.

Poe and Finn stepped out of the water, in wetsuits. You knew them from several wedding preparation Skype calls. Kylo had told you he would get them from the airport while you were writing the last exam today.

„You’re here.“ Your clothes were wet already so you hugged them both at the same time, without even asking. „So nice to meet you in person.“ They agreed simultaneously with a ‚same‘ and instantly gave you an update on their flight. Poe mostly mentioned airplane stuff because he was currently studying to become a pilot himself one day; Finn talked about the toddler in front of them and how he made grimaces for her because she had cried a lot.

The three boys had a lot to catch up on, and it was cute to see Kylo with his two best friends. He missed them since they left the island for college, you knew that. He always talked about when they were kids and learned how to surf. When you didn’t study for college, didn’t work at the gas station, or didn’t spend time out on the water or with Kylo in general, you helped out at the hostel.

Leia, Kylo’s mother, has ran it for over fifteen years now. She founded it to create a welcoming and familiar space for backpackers and travellers with a low budget. Technically, it was a big family house where everyone integrated pretty fast to the community. Leia’s plan had been resistance. She didn’t agree with the huge hotels that demanded horrifying prices for one night. She believed that traveling was about an adventurous experience that took your breath away when you remembered it, not about worrying over a budget.

Most of the visitors stayed longer than they originally had planned because this hostel wasn’t only a hostel – it was home. When new travellers came in and there was barely space for them, Leia always figured something out. She had a talent for improvisation.

There were two young backpackers from Sweden, Vera and Sven, twins that explored the world together. You loved the fact that they, as siblings, went out into the world together. They had lived in the hostel for nearly four weeks now.

You headed over to the kitchen, leaving Kylo alone with his mates, to check and see if you could do something. Vera and her brother were washing some dishes, you helped them, and made sure they wouldn’t go out on a hike on Saturday. They assured you, again, they wouldn’t. You loved being at the hostel because you had made so many friends from all over the world. You loved even more that everyone that had checked in at the moment would be attending the wedding. One big family to celebrate with – it couldn’t get any better.

/////

Kylo lit the fireplace at the beach every night. It belonged to the hostel and was the evening hot spot for all the visitors, and for some neighbours too. Benches were made out of old palm trees – they weren’t as uncomfortable as you first imagined they would be.

„I need to tell you something.“ Kylo first looked at you. He felt guilty because he didn’t mention it to you before. Usually, it would’ve been something he would have discussed with you at the very beginning, but he had hesitated. And then the ‚right time‘ had passed and he felt like he couldn’t bring it up anymore. He looked to Poe and Finn. „I invited my father to the wedding.“

„You what?“ You looked at him in surprise, but it was probably more like shock.

Poe placed his beer in the sand so he wouldn’t drop it. „Dude, I thought you don’t know who your dad is.“

„Well, I still don’t know it.“

„Who did you invite then?“ Finn wore the most confused face.

Kylo got up and grabbed some new wood to put on the bonfire. „Three possible fathers?“

„What the fuck?“ He looked at you. Kylo loved your cursing, it was part of your humour, and he loved even more how you broke into laughter. Suddenly he didn’t know why he didn’t tell you right away, seeing your reaction. „How?“

„When I was clearing out the one room for renovation, I found an old box with photos. Mom used to do a lot of photography before I was born; she labeled every photo.“

„Let me guess,“ Poe stood up, „you found three photos of men that were labeled with the time she must have gotten pregnant with you?“

„Yo.“ He fished the photos out of his pocket, he carried them since he posted off the letters. They looked at the men and read the labels.

„And you decided to just invite all three of them?“ Finn’s voice was really high, he didn’t try to hide his confusion.

„Yeah. I didn’t know which of them would be my father… with all three of them I’m not doing anything wrong, right?“

Poe looked at Finn, Finn looked at you, the three of you looked at Kylo. He shrugged and sat down next to you again.

You turned him to you. „Why did you keep it a secret from me?“ It bugged you, but not too much.

„I don’t know. It won’t happen again.“

„Yeah, it won’t because we’re over if you’re doing this again, Organa.“

„Y/N!“ Kylo snapped hysterically.

„Only a joke, babe.“ You placed a hand on his thigh. Whenever you touched him or he touched you, all the people around you got unimportant. „You can keep as many secrets as you want. You’ll tell me when it’s time.“ His face lit up again in the bonfire’s shine. „But what did you think? What is supposed to happen?“

Kylo shrugged again – he liked to do that – and offered some thoughts on how he wanted this thing with the father to go. He didn’t have a real plan. He just sent them the invitation to the wedding and didn’t think about anything else. That was a typical Kylo move.

/////

On the days you didn’t have college, you always tried to eat lunch with your dad. Kylo joined the two of you sometimes, but today you drove off alone. He helped out in the hostel because his mother already made preparations for tomorrow. She wouldn’t let him do it as she insisted on doing it herself. Kylo couldn’t do anything about it; his mom was even more stubborn than he was.

„Excuse me?“ Kylo had done some paper work at the reception and looked up to see three men with luggage standing in the small entrance of the hostel.

„Hello there! Nice to see you, how can I help you?“ He stood up and walked around the reception. It was always a pleasure for him to welcome some business men, still in their suits. They would come to the hostel from time to time to relive some good old times. When he eyed them with full attention something felt odd. Those faces looked familiar. Kylo had seen them before. He had seen younger versions of them…

Fuck. The photo men.

Kylo stared at them for a solid minute. He tried to remember the photographs and compare them to the men in front of him. The one in the middle, who had ‚excused himself‘, must be Lando. Seeing him now, he wondered if he, being Kylo’s father, was even a real possibility. Lando’s photograph had been a black and white one, without much lightness; it didn’t show clearly how he had looked twenty-five years ago.

The man to Lando’s right was dressed in a suit as well. He wore a lot of pomade to keep the wild hair under control – this must be Wedge. He didn’t care about his hair back in the photograph, it had been a mess; just like Kylo’s was, he realised.

The third man stood in the doorframe, finishing his cigar and wearing the most funky Hawaiian shirt Kylo had ever seen. He instantly recognised this man: Han Solo.

„We are invited to a wedding tomorrow. Are we at the right place? Is this Leia Organa’s hostel?“ Wedge unbuttoned his jacket and took it off. It was pretty hot for the end of May. Kylo wondered how he had managed to wear it that long without melting. „It’s actually funny, we met at the airport and shared a taxi because we randomly found out we all have been invited to the same wedding.“

„Are you choking on your own spit, kid?“ Han flicked the remains of his cigar away and came closer. Kylo didn’t speak for three minutes now. He hadn’t thought about what would happen when the men would stand in front of him. Again he hadn’t thought. He always just did things, never thinking about the consequences.

„Sorry.“ He cleared his throat to win some more seconds, in which he could think about what he would do with them now. „You’re absolutely at the right place! Please follow me.“

„Shouldn’t we check in first?“ Lando called after Kylo, but he had already went down the hallway.

„Oh no, wedding guests don’t pay.“ The three followed him to the end of the hallway to the one big room that was still under construction. Later it would be a ten-bed room, but for now Kylo needed to find some old folding beds he could offer them. „By the way, I am Kylo and it’s my wedding you’re invited to.“

„Yes, right! You’re Leia’s son, right? It’s a nice gesture to invite us to her son’s wedding.“

Oh right. Kylo sent the invitations in Leia’s name because he feared they wouldn’t come if it wasn’t for her.

„Yes, I’m Leia’s son.“ Maybe yours too, Lando.

It took him a few seconds to nod his head at Kylo’s confirmation. They followed him to the room, but hesitated to really enter. It was a construction area, Kylo understood why they didn’t want to get in completely. „I’m sorry, we’re a little short on space.“

„That’s alright, kid. It looks cozy.“ The Hawaiian shirt walked past him and dropped his bag to the floor. Lando and Wedge didn’t look as comfortable with the situation like Han, but they didn’t say anything against it.

Shoving them into a room was enough, right? „Yo, see you then.“

„Wait!“ Wedge stopped Kylo from disappearing to a corner, where he could hide and curse over his own stupidity and the non-existing plan of how to handle the situation. He should’ve told you from the beginning; you were good with plans. Or common sense. „What are we supposed to do?“

„Stay in there?“

„No way, kid.“ Han grinned mischievously and, again, walked passed Kylo, but this time out of the room, instead of in. Lando didn’t wait long and followed him, just like Wedge. When Kylo realised, they were in the hostel, in his mother’s hostel, he rushed after them. He only told you and his best mates yesterday. His mother for sure didn’t know a single thing about those three man that were here.

Kylo caught up on them when they reached the beach behind the building. „Do you want to go out on the water?“ Please do. Far out, Leia wouldn’t notice them too quick. In the meantime Kylo could call you for help.

„That’s why we’re here, kid.“ Hawaiian-shirt-Han took off his sunglasses for the first time and used them to point at Kylo. „Do you have some boards?“

„Yeah.“ Kylo gestured to his left side. „I’m running a small surf school that belongs to the hostel.“ To his luck, they followed him to the shed where all the surf stuff was stored. They spoke about some summer on O’ahu: how the water had been their best friend, how life had turned out since then. They probably spoke about the summer Leia got pregnant with him, still they didn’t figure out that all of them were talking about nearly the same thing. They all mentioned a woman, but not even then did they get it.

When they treaded off to the water, Kylo pulled out his phone and dialled you. He gave you a rap about what had happened. You laughed at him, but assured you would come over right after lunch.

Kylo returned to the reception, but also kept an eye on the ocean. He should be out there, it was irresponsible to let them surf without him observing them. But he couldn’t tell his mother she needed to take over the reception, Leia would get suspicious.

Somehow he was able to get them back into the room after their surf session. Kylo promised them some lunch if they stayed in the room. They agreed.

He used all the cooking knowledge he had, which resulted into pasta with tomato sauce. You were a far better cook than him; you always worked some magic and cooked the most delicious meals. Kylo was only good with cutting the veggies and preparing all the stuff – onions were his speciality because nothing could make him cry besides you.

/////

Her knucklehead had vandalised the hostel kitchen. Leia hadn’t thought about searching for him there because when Kylo was hungry, he went to the family apartment’s kitchen. This mess could only be made by her son, and it was typical for him to leave a chaos behind when he cooked. She couldn’t truly understand why you had agreed to marry him because he had so much of Leia in him, but she was happy you did. Maybe he would finally move out after getting married to you and give her peace when she wanted to watch ‚Friends‘.

„Mom?“ Kylo returned with three empty plates to the kitchen. He was surprised to find his mother there, even though he shouldn’t have been because it already had been a wonder that she didn’t cross his path since the three possible dads had arrived.

„Son?“ She looked at him with her unapologetic stare. When she noticed the three plates, her eyes squeezed and she came closer. „What is going on?“

„Nothing.“ He walked around her and put the plates in the dishwasher.

„Kid? Could we get some water?“ No. NO. Kylo couldn’t react as fast as he wanted to to prevent the catastrophe. Han appeared in the doorframe. „Mamma Mia!“

„Han?“

„Leia!“

Both of them stared at each other. Leia in shock, maybe with an escape plan to leave the island, even if she needed to swim; Han in complete fascination.

„Fuck.“ Kylo didn’t know what he should do. Why didn’t you arrive yet? You were far better with delicate stuff like this.

„What’s going on here?“ Leia put her hands on her hips and stared at her son. The last time she gave him that look, he had lit up the old shed in his uncle’s backyard by accident.

As if the situation wasn’t bad enough, two low voices got closer to the kitchen. Soon, Lando and Wedge arrived behind Han.

„Leia!“

„Why are you here?“

The three men, hit by realisation, got into a discussion until Lando cut it. „We’re here because you obviously invited all three of us. To Kylo’s wedding.“

Leia scoffed. „Why should I invite someone to my son’s wedding? We’re living in the twenty-first century, the boy can invite people himself.“ She covered her face with her hands for a moment; she did that to regain control over her thoughts. „And if I invited someone, it for sure wouldn’t have been you.“ Leia turned to her son. „What did you do? You’ll be the cause for my heart attack one day!“

Kylo somehow managed to overcome his shock and asked the possible dads to return to their room. He would come and explain everything, but he first needed to talk to his mother. They unexpectedly followed his request and left.

„Son, what did you do?“

„Trying to get everyone together. The family.“

Kylo could see how the anger left her face instantly. The wrinkles around her eyes got deeper, the sorrow on her forehead made clear that she had aged in the past years. „You know what we think about this.“ Leia took his hands in hers and looked into his eyes. She felt a little guilty.

„Yes.“ She had raised him with the knowledge that she didn’t know who his father was, and that the two of them were ‚enough‘. They had been their own little family. „But I also want to find out who is responsible for the other part of me.“ She didn’t respond so Kylo went on. „I found those old photos and I just invited them. This wedding will be a huge one, with a lot of people that are not related by blood, but by heart with – I just want my father to be there, too.“

„Was it wrong, that I never showed you the photos?“ Kylo had never seen his mother so emotional about that topic. She was a tough woman that always proved herself. When it came to her son, she could get really sensitive.

„No, mom. It’s alright.“

„I’m sorry, Kylo.“ She kissed one of his hands.

„I didn’t know how I should tell you, but I want you to understand it, so you don’t feel like I don’t appreciate our family.“ He kissed one of her hands. That was a thing they did since he had been little. „The wedding, the marriage, Y/N – it will be a new step in my life. I want to evolve and become the man that is worthy of her. I want to know where my roots are. Especially since I know her, because one day I’ll hopefully be the father to her children, and I want to know how it feels to have a dad.“

She nodded her head. Leia was aware that the ideals she had been raising him after, couldn’t automatically be his. It was natural for a child to want to know where it came from.

„So you don’t know who my father is…“

„No.“ She released his hands and started to clean up his mess. „It could be anyone of them, actually.“

„Really?“ It had only been Kylo’s assumption until now. Though at the same time he didn’t think she was lying to him. He didn’t think she only told him that she didn’t know when, in fact, she knew. She wasn’t one for lying.

„Don’t look at me like that! Your mom had a lot of fun when she was young.“ She chuckled.

„We don’t doubt that.“ Kylo turned around and nearly dropped the pot with the pasta. Finally. He wasn’t one for love declarations in public, but after all the trouble this morning, he couldn’t resist. He bowed down to you, still the pot in his hands, and kissed you. Long and intensely.

Leia and Kylo alternated with each other to give the different views of what had happened. You managed to talk Leia into leaving for the reception and finished cleaning up the mess with Kylo.

In the meantime, the three possible dads had found out they all had a thing going on with Leia that summer. Still, they didn’t come to the final conclusion when Kylo and you arrived in their room. In fact, they all fumbled at their luggage and mumbled something about the airport.

„What are you doing?“ You could hear in Kylo’s voice that he didn’t want them to leave. Before you had interrupted him and his mom, you had heard what he had told her. You didn’t really want to listen in on them, but it had been too tempting.

„We came to the conclusion that Leia probably doesn’t want us here. We’re leaving.“ They would actually make a good boy band, you thought. Lando as the frontman, because he seemed to speak for all three of them, Wedge on the drums, and Han would be the crazy guitarist that shreds his guitar on stage every now and then, or all the time. He seemed like the type of guy that did only crazy stuff. Or at least that’s what his funky Hawaiian shirt said.

„But I want you there.“

„Kid, we thought we were here because Leia wanted us here. Sorry.“

„My name is Kylo, not kid, and I’m your son. Yours too, Lando. Wedge, same applies to you. As far as I know one of you is my father, so I want you all to attend our wedding as part of my family.“

The three possible dads, now aware of it, sat back on their folding beds. They needed a few minutes to overcome the shock. It surprised you that this fact seemed to bring them closer together. They discussed about it like they had been friends for more than half of a day.

„You know, I want the whole experience. I never had a father, so I’m okay with all three of you. If you’re okay too?“

Again, they talked about it like Kylo and you wouldn’t stand right in front of them.

„Alright.“

It took them a hour to adjust to the news. They didn’t flip, they were just highly confused about becoming fathers so suddenly. But becoming a parent was obviously funnier when the child was allowed to drink alcohol with you. Over some beers, they shared a lot of theories about how Kylo had Wedge’s hair and Lando’s eyes.

You excused yourself after some time to get out on the waves. Kylo wanted you to stay but he also didn’t want you to miss out on your daily surf dose.

He enjoyed talking to the men. They were actually the coolest dudes and he loved that they were here and were staying for his wedding.

Finn and Poe joined the boys in the afternoon. The evening quickly turned into Kylo’s stag night. A lot of beer, a lot of jokes, a lot of getting to know each other better.

You had spent hours out on the water, when you came back, you didn’t want to interrupt the stag night thing they had going on, so you stole a kiss from Kylo and said goodbye until tomorrow. He didn’t want to let you go so easily. It was the last day were you would be his girlfriend – technically his fiancée. Kylo stole some more kisses until he released you, so you could head to your car.

It felt wrong to open the car door and leave and not sleep over at Kylo’s place. Fuck the ritual of not sleeping in the same bed the night before the wedding; nothing or no one could hold you back from tugging yourself into Kylo’s sheets.

/////

Han opted out at some point. He had a mission. No plan, but he wanted to talk to Leia. He snuck around the hostel, searching for her. She crouched over a lot of papers at the reception.

„You raised a good man.“

Leia looked up. His voice could still give her shivers. „Did you expect something else?,“ she pursed her lips.

„I didn’t expect you to have a child at all.“

She crossed her arms as an answer and got up to stand in front of him.

„So I wasn’t the only one that summer, huh?“ His eyes beamed at her. He wasn’t mad, he was just fascinated to see her again. Over all those years, she had lingered in the back of his mind.

„Han, you still think you’re the only star in the sky?“ Leia had loved his stubborn head, and even his ridiculous self-confidence.

„I for sure know you are mine,“ he smirked. How could that man still work his magic the way he did twenty-five years ago?

Kylo turned away when he saw his mother kiss Han. He hadn’t expected to become a witness of such a scene on the way to the family apartment. In hope they wouldn’t notice that he had heard their conversation, he sneaked passed them and hurried to his bedroom. He found the sweetest surprise when he entered it: you, curled up in his blanket.

Kylo had hoped you would change your mind and stay over. It made him incredibly happy to be able to wrap his arms around you now.

You recognised his presence and pulled him closer, pressing against his chest. God, he couldn’t wait for tomorrow when you said ‚I do‘ and this here would be available for him the rest of his life.

/////

When he slept, Kylo’s facial mimic was completely relaxed. It was the most beautiful view you had ever seen. Most times you tried to count his freckles the Hawaiian sun had given him. You had stared at him for a long time already. You woke up when it was still dark outside; now the sun started to shine through the curtains.

„We’re gonna get married today,“ you smiled when he opened his eyes. Kylo wasn’t a morning person at all. Usually it took him a hour to process information with a tired brain, but today it worked faster. He nodded and managed the most sleepy, but happiest grin. You scooted closer to him, so you could kiss his adorable face.

A billion kisses and a coffee later, you drove back to your place. Your dad was already running in circles when you arrived. He was definitely more nervous than you.

„Do you want me to do your hair?“

You were a bad bride for not even thinking about your wedding hair until this very moment. „Sure.“

Your dad had obviously thought about it. He seated you in front of the bathroom mirror and rushed out to come back with a small bowl of freshly picked flowers. „I thought about putting them into your hair.“ You could only smile at how cute he was.

When your parents still had been together, your father always used to do your hair. He thought a dad should be able to do it – the ‚it isn’t manly excuse‘ never worked for him. You didn’t only move over to Hawaii for Kylo, but also for your dad. Living together with your mom had been alright, but living with your dad was far more funnier.

He was actually better at braiding than you were. He transformed two strands of hair, one from each side, into a crown. With the flowers, he placed in the crown, you felt like a fairy.

You’d been left alone to change into your wedding dress. Never had you dreamt about to marrying at twenty-two, but Kylo and you, that was far more than you ever thought could be possible. It’s not that you didn’t believe in true love, you just never expected it to be possible to fall so hard for someone.

The wedding dress felt odd. It fluttered around your ankles when you walked out of your room. You had expected to find your father right in front of your door, but he wasn’t waiting for you. Instead the front door was opened. When you went outside, you were greeted by cheers.

Your mom was here. And she had brought Rey and Rose with her, your two best friends from Florida. Those traitors had told you they couldn’t make it!

„Did you really think we would miss this day?,“ they screamed and rushed up the steps to engulf you in a group hug. Your dad recorded the scene with his phone.

„That’s not cool,“ you laughed. Actually, it was awesome.

Your mom had placed her hand over her heart and looked at you with that motherly pride in her eyes. She kissed you and then laid a white lei around your neck. „Are you ready?“

/////

You weren’t ready. Not even the slightest. The drive over to the hostel took ages, but at the same time it had been over too fast. Your heart nearly jumped out of your chest when you got out of your jeep. Your dad wanted to drive you in his truck, but that way you would have had even more time to think about what you were going to do. Driving yourself, you had at least had control over that, when you didn’t have it over your heart.

Three hours ago you hadn’t been nervous at all, and now you were about to vomit because of what was ahead. You couldn’t understand it. Since his proposal on Christmas you had been excited for this day. Now, that it was here, it scared you.

„Take a deep breath.“ Your dad, who was by your side, took your arm and linked it with his. „That’s normal.“

„Are you sure?“

„Yes.“ He kissed your forehead and dragged you through the hostel to the beachside.

They had rolled over the old palm trees as benches and left space in the middle for an aisle. On each side of that aisle, a lot of people stood up to turn around and look at you, as your dad led you down the aisle.

There he was, at the end of the aisle. He looked so good in his shorts and the short-sleeved shirt. You didn’t know he would wear white too. The sight of him, and his smile, calmed you again. It was Kylo, get your shit together.

Your dad handed you over to Kylo when you arrived in front of him.

Holy shit, you looked so mesmerizing. Beautiful was an understatement. He tried to ignore the knot in his stomach. He tried so hard to enjoy this moment, to just see how fascinating you, and everything around, was. Still it didn’t feel right.

Kylo noticed you were shaking when he grabbed your hands in his. He had expected you to smile but you didn’t. Your eyes gave away that something wasn’t right for you either.

„Kylo,“ you leaned over to him and whispered into his ear, „I really want to marry you. Just not today.“

„Yes!“ He shouldn’t, for the sake of you, be so happy about your words. „Oh yes, thank you for saying this! It feels strange, right babe?“ Kylo wrapped his arms around you. He couldn’t believe, that what he wanted for so long wasn’t the thing he still wanted. Not now.

„Can we just wait a little? Like a year? Or ten?“

„Absolutely.“ He peppered you with kisses. Over and over again his lips crushed into yours. Until the crowd got too loud with shouts that demanded an explanation on what was going on.

Kylo looked into your eyes to make sure of your agreement before he turned to them. „No wedding today, folks.“

The guests, your parents and Leia, your friends, even the three dads erupted into loud questions. After the initial shock, some started to laugh and gave remarks about how it should have been obvious something like that would happen with the two of you.

Kylo and you walked down the aisle, together, but not married like you thought you would do it when you woke up today. You felt relieved. You loved that dork so much, but for a marriage, it was a little too early.

„Maybe you’re wrong, kid.“ Kylo stopped in his tracks, you too. Han took the place where Kylo had stood just moments ago. Everyone got quiet. „Come on, Leia.“ He called it over the whole beach.

Kylo could make out his mother in the first row. She gasped and hid her face in her hands again.

„The only reason I came to this island is you.“ Han’s grin was so bright, it actually outdid the sun. He looked at Kylo. „Sorry, kid.“

Everyone noticed the tension. Everyone knew this wasn’t a joke or completely absurd because otherwise Leia would have already protested.

/////

„I can’t believe we didn’t marry.“ Kylo drove your jeep. You had planned to go on a little honey moon with your tent around the island. Not saying ‚I do‘ wasn’t a reason on why you shouldn’t make a little trip anyways.

„I can’t believe your mother did.“

It had been the strangest day ever. Kylo got three new dads, Leia got a husband, and you the reassurance that Kylo loved you even without a wedding certificate.

„Kylo?“

„Yeah?“ Even with his sunglasses on, you could see him smiling with his whole face.

„Pull over.“ You unbuckled your seatbelt before the car came to a complete stop. „I need to kiss you.“ It went on like this for the next few days. You couldn’t get enough of him and never would. There would come the day when it would be right to marry him. Until then, you would gladly be ‚only‘ his girlfriend.

[bertann]

Carrie Fisher: A New Hero

Of all the posts I’ve written about my life, there are a few stories that I hold near and dear to my heart- some of which I never thought about sharing. That is, until today.

Today is a hard day for me, if you didn’t already know, today was the one year anniversary of Carrie Fisher’s death. I will openly admit I’ve choked up on a few different occasions looking through dedication post after dedication post about Carrie. Even now as I’m writing this post, it’s still hard to hold back tears.

When looking up the definition, the dictionary tells us that a hero is a person admired for their achievements and noble qualities, one who shows great courage. 

The word “hero” is defined differently for everyone in their own way, our perception of courage and noble qualities seem to vary from person to person. Whether this be a firefighter putting out a fire, a lead singer in a girl group, or a parent/sibling/relative, everyone has their heroes.

For me I had two distinct heroes growing up, Carrie Fisher and my Aunt Marie. Both were funny, intelligent, talented, beautiful souls that shared a love of movies, scripts, and strong female characters… And both were taken far too soon. 

I don’t talk about my personal life on here as much as I feel I sometimes should, some things are still too painful to talk about- others, the wounds are still healing. 

I was 13 when my Aunt Marie died. It was the first death I had experienced in my life, and I can say with absolute certainty that her loss shaped me in ways I couldn’t even begin to explain to you.

When I say that Marie was my twin in virtually every way, I mean that with every fiber of my being. I got my love of film from her. I got my drawing skills from her. I got my love of mysteries, history, sports, comic books, and photography from her. I am who I am today because of her. 

She was the only person in my entire family who shared my obsessive love of film and art… When my brother and I would visit our grandmother, she’d have a sleepover with each of us separately. We would get to do whatever we wanted the entire day.

For me, it was always an opportunity to go to the movies. “Alright, what do you want to do?” She’d ask… “What do you think?” I’d reply… She’d chuckle and smile, then tell me to grab the newspaper to see what was playing that day. (Good god does that make me sound old…) 

There was never a question of “Again?” Or “Aren’t you sick of going to the movies?” It was a simple smile that I had grown to know, one that is burned into every memory I have of her. She was always smiling, even when she was hurting.

You see, my Aunt Marie had a brain tumor. I didn’t know what it meant at the time, the gravity of her situation was lost on my young mind and I didn’t truly realize what was going on until it was far too late.

The tumor had grown behind her eyes. Even today I wonder how much she truly saw of the movies we went to towards the end… The doctors gave her a decision of losing her eyes to see if they could remove all of the tumor out but there was no guarantee.

She decided to keep her eyes.

I don’t think it was the fear of not seeing that caused her to make that choice, I think it was the thought of possibly losing the biggest loves and joys of her life. I don’t think she could bare the thought of losing everything she loved. She and I would go to the movies sometimes twice a day… 

She would read book after book, the sheer amount she read is almost unimaginable to any normal person… She would spend hours teaching me how to draw. Her life and happiness was rooted in her eyes. 
Not too long after she was diagnosed with the tumor, she had died.

I remember getting the news like it happened yesterday. My mom picked me up from school, there was a heavy tone in the air that I had never felt before- I was confused, the awkward quietness filled the car. My younger brother couldn’t look me in the eye… I knew something was wrong.

When my parents sat me down and told me the news, I remember crying and screaming. I ran up to my room, slammed the door, and destroyed everything in my path. I remember breaking down the next day during third period and being sent home. I just couldn’t keep it together no matter how hard I tried. The only person who understood me, the only person who shared my love of film and art, my hero, had died. 

It was only in March of last year that I discovered that she was actually going to school for what I’m doing right now. I was going through some old boxes and found a script she had written on a typewriter… Then I found some old ticket stubs from her college classes. Scriptwriting, Directing, everything I had been gearing up to go to school for- she had done and taken classes for. 

She never told me any of this. I sat in my room, a room where she grew up as a teen, and simply stared at the pages. I couldn’t believe that after all these years, no one had told me that we were so alike in so many different ways. When I asked my grandmother about it, she told me about her time in the film program… About how she was a P.A. and worked on movie sets as a student, but that it simply didn’t work out.

That’s one of the reasons I work so hard and have the work ethic that I do, I feel like I have to make it for the both of us. 

I feel like she was telling me, “You finally found your way, kid.”

Now, what does all of this have to do with Carrie Fisher? Well, my aunt was the one who showed me the original Star Wars films for the first time. I remember being mesmerized by absolutely everything, but what I remember most was my love for Leia. I grew up on princesses waiting for their prince to save them, but Leia? Leia was the one doing the saving. She was the smart, strong, sharp-tongued, beautiful badass that I wanted to be when I grew up. 

Little did I know that the actress behind the character is what made her who she was. It’s not well known that Carrie was an amazing script doctor in addition to being a phenomenal actress… From Sister Act to Hook, she fixed the dialogue to make those films as amazing and legendary as they are. Leia was Leia because of Carrie.

And who was Carrie? Carrie was the smart, strong, sharp-tongued, beautiful badass I want to be as an adult. For as long as I can remember, I’ve had a fascination with the villains. I never stopped to question why this is, but now as I’ve grown- I think I finally know why. There’s a piece of humanity in villains that we don’t usually get to see in heroes…Their flaws and how their past shaped them to make the choices they do.

We’ve all lashed out, said and done things that we shouldn’t have. I often ask myself why an antagonist is an antagonist… Like the saying goes, “Every villain was once a hero scorned” that light and darkness that we all feel, the infinite push and pull, the give and take of life. Our humanity is manifested in our flaws and strengths. And Carrie Fisher was so beautifully flawed. Addiction runs deep in the veins of my family, our addictive personalities can be a blessing and a curse in many ways… Our obsessive nature can be productive and destructive. Carrie gave Leia flaws. She made her strong-willed and smart, compassionate and steadfast, short-tempered and sharp-tongued.

Carrie talked openly about her struggles with mental health and addiction, both of which aren’t talked about enough in the media… Or just in general. Some of the strongest people are those who reveal their flaws, those who have gone to hell and back and warn other travelers of the roads they’ve been on. These are the type of dynamic, strong, badasses I strive to be, and write. My aunt showed me how to be a good film lover, but it was Carrie that showed me how to be a good film writer.

Carrie showed me it was okay to be flawed- and that it shouldn’t be covered up and brushed under the table to be ignored, people need to know that they aren’t alone. Many of us fight the same demons within ourselves, we just call them different names. I couldn’t write this post last year for a number of reasons… One being that I just wasn’t ready to accept that I had again lost my hero. Coming to terms with the fact that you’re never going to meet your hero, that you can’t tell them how much of an impact they had on your life and work… It’s hard and it hurts. I remember seeing the breaking news update that she died… I just sat in my room and cried.

People always talk about losing people in your life… Family members, friends, etc. but they never really talk about losing your heroes. In a way, they’re just as important. They’re a piece of you that has grown over a period of your life… A seed usually planted by someone or something that you love. 

For me, losing my heroes has made me even more determined to make them proud. A lot has changed in my life over the past year, both personal and professional- I’ve gone from film school student to actually having one of my scripts in production, from anxiety and depression ridden- not leaving my room for days, to traveling back and forth from L.A. and practically living out of a suitcase for weeks on end. None of this would’ve been possible without my heroes. Heroes never truly die, not as long as you remember them. I use what they taught me on a daily basis, and I hope to one day write the type of heroes they would be proud of. Your heroes live on in you, it’s your duty to pass on what you learned from them and create the next generation of heroes. There are two quotes by Carrie that I recite to myself on a daily basis: “You get to choose what monsters you want to slay.” “Stay afraid, but do it anyway.”

So… Go and slay those monsters. Stay afraid, but do it anyway. And may the force be fucking  with you.

[agent-nemesis]

The Last Jedi! Review! Opinions!

I haven’t had a chance to really write about the movie due to travel, etc., but here I am now. I’ve watched the movie four times now and will probably go see it in the cinema again!

Spoilers below!

The midnight experience

I saw the movie at midnight. I was cosplaying Kylo and my sister was cosplaying Rey. There were a few other people dressed up too, including a guy I know who was cosplaying Chewy and was like “Hey!!” to me when I was in the line for drinks, and I was like “??? I don’t know who you are because you’re in a mask???” and he was like “It’s me!” and I’m like “???” and he’s like “Chris!” and I’m like “oohhhh!” and we hugged.

I was visiting my old grad school town which is kind of a small place, so I also saw a girl I know from Taekwon-Do, and we were in the line next to the owner of a Japanese restaurant we used to go to all the time when we lived there. He was there with his daughter and recognised us immediately. Then I saw another friend as well, who had taken a photo of me from across the lobby, thinking that I was my own doppelganger because he thought I was in the UK and not in town.

My sister and I engaged in shenanigans with our lightsabers and took photos and videos. Lots of people photographed us as well. They filled up the whole theater (6 cinemas). The atmosphere was great. The audience was lively, and I think a good time was had. Unfortunately, it was cooking in the theater and I was wearing full Kylo regalia, sans helmet. I was too warm.

The film

As soon as “Star Wars” appeared on the screen, everyone clapped. I realised that I forgot to put my glasses on, and scrambled to find them in the dark during the first few minutes!

Notable observations and things throughout the movie:

I thought the Hux prank call was overly cheesy for an opening. I appreciated the jab at Hux’s mother, but the scene was too cringey for my liking.

The cinematography! Holy shit, the cinematography!

I practically jizzed in my pants when the Supremacy appeared. It comes out of hyperspace at the top of the screen, and it really feels like it’s right over your head.

I lived in fear for Hux’s life for the ENTIRE MOVIE. Any scene could have been his last, and I was terrified.

Snoke ripping into Kylo and telling him that his mask was stupid.

Luke and Rey on the island and Rey trashing everything <3

When Luke milked that creature, I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. If anyone would have told me that TLJ would include a lactation scene, I would never have believed it. Expect the unexpected, indeed.

Rey reaching out with her arm when Luke says “reach out”.

“Wipe that nervous expression off your face, 3PO!”

Lots of excellent dialogue. So many good quotes.

I thought the Leia flying through space scene was too cheesy.

Chewy spit-roasting porgs XD

Force Skyping. I absolutely loved this. I found Rey gaining sympathy for Kylo believable. He remained his usual self-absorbed self throughout the encounters.

TIDDIES! THANK YOU, RIAN!!!

There were a lot of gasps from the audience when the tiddies appeared.

I’m of two minds about Luke’s confrontation with Ben. Was it in line with Luke as a character? My interpretation was that it was Snoke’s hold on Ben that terrified Luke so much and caused him to ignite his lightsaber on impulse. I can live with that. I don’t think Luke would have turned on Ben otherwise.

Rey calling Kylo “Ben”.

Return of the Jedi music from the Luke/Vader/Palpatine scene in the Rey/Kylo/Snoke scene.

HOOOLY SHIIIIIT I didn’t expect Kylo to kill Snoke. I loved it!

Kylo and Rey fighting together was absolutely fucking amazing. Rey shouting while fighting, all of it! Full credit to Daisy. She’s amazing!!

I thought that maybe Kylo was slightly more chill during this movie, but then he lost his shit when Rey rejected him, and it was glorious.

Hux showing up in the throne room and reaching for his gun, then stealthily un-reaching for it was spectacular. The theater roared with laughter. Brilliant scene.

Kylo lying to Hux about who killed Snoke XD

I FELT SORRY FOR HUX BEING FORCE-CHOKED.

Supreme Leader Kylo Ren.

Rose is the sweetest. However, some of her lines were too good and kind of cheesy.

While I liked the idea of Rose and Finn going undercover, i thought the Canto Bight quest was a bit contrived. However, I enjoyed BB-8 and DJ teaming up. “What’s your story, roundy?”

Overall, I felt like the Canto Bight section was there to overtly tell the audience that weapons dealers are bad and people who profit off of war are bad with an obvious nudge nudge to our present day situation. It’s a direct reflection of aspects of the real life military industrial complex, which I don’t think is a bad thing to portray, but it felt too in-your-face to me.

Unpopular opinion? I liked DJ.

The ironing droids made me crack up.

Hux is a pipsqueak noodle, so it makes sense that all he can do is slap Finn across the face.

Why so little BB-H8???

Holdo lightspeeding the ship into the Supremacy. Holy fuck. Most. Beautiful. Space. Explosion. EVER.

Finn was amazing throughout.

Poe was a dick! He meant well, but everything got even more screwed up by the infiltration plan.

Yoda is a little shit. Rey had the books already when he burnt the place down!! And he didn’t tell Luke!!

BB-8 saved the day???

Crait was so pretty.

“They hate that ship!”

Kylo and Hux co-commanding. All of their interactions were a gift. Though I didn’t like Hux being Force-thrown!!

I thought Finn was gonna die and I was freaking out!

I don’t know how I feel about this kiss? Rose was enamored with Finn from the start, so I’m not surprised, but Finn sure was!

I lost my shit when Luke appeared. I didn’t pick up all the hints that he was an apparition until Kylo slashed him with his lightsaber and nothing happened. I was hands-down wowed when the reveal happened.

Hux’s glare at Kylo at the end.

Rey lifting rocks. i was like, “YOU GO, GIRL!!”

Overall, I loved the movie. I was a ball of nerves during my first viewing, both from two years of built-up anticipation, and also fear for Hux’s safety! On top of that, the pacing of the movie was too frantic for my liking. I was on the edge of my seat for the entire fucking movie. I watched it again the next morning, and it was way better on the second viewing. I could actually sit back and enjoy it!

Everyone’s acting was phenomenal! Kylo Ren wouldn’t work as a character without Adam Driver. Daisy was amazing!! The contrast between her portrayal of vulnerability after her cave experience to raw aggression when she’s fighting is quite a feat. I’m in total awe. Her and Adam work so well. Domhnall was great. Carrie was brilliant. The whole cast is really superb.

Despite liking the movie, there are things I didn’t like. A little too much cringey humour, a bit too much in-your-face morals in the casino bit (even if I agreed with them, I didn’t like the presentation). They essentially crammed together The Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi (for better or for worse!), leaving a total unknown for the next movie. I’m looking forward to it! There are so many scenes and lines I loved, and so many great interactions between the characters that it’s a movie I can watch over and over, just like I did with the original trilogy as a kid.

Okay, but what about kylux??

I feel sad that Kylo pushed Hux around so much! A lot of my old “secretly dating” headcanons don’t really apply in light of this, at least not in the context of a somewhat healthy relationship. However, there is a lot of new material to fuel my kylux fires, with angst on the menu!

The verdict? Onwards!

[acertaincritic]

The Last Jedi - Opinion

To say that I have mixed feelings about this movie would be a serious understatement. I have a chaos in my head, a tangle of let-down hopes, pleasant surprises, and above all else, my inner critic’s ramblings. One thing I can say for sure – it’s better than “The Force Awakens”. But I guess it doesn’t tell you much, eh? Well, let’s try and unpack this mess, shall we?

Heavy spoilers under the cut.

But I mean it.

I. Do. Not. Hold. Back.

Where do we start when all the words fail us? How do we begin to describe the infinity? Eh, I don’t know. But for this movie, let’s start with all the good things, and then dive right into the bad stuff. Pretty much like “The Last Jedi” does.

So… Characters. I was surprised to find that I actually came to like Finn in this movie. He’s proactive, he’s heroic, he’s got motivation – a solid character now, that guy. Rose I liked too, and Poe, and of course good ol’ Leia. Luke was outstanding, and even more so Kylo Ren. Almost every character (see who’s missing?) got better by miles; I was sincerely afraid for some of them, and sad to see others go. Whoever was the screenwriter, they’re definitely praiseworthy.

Next. Special effects, camera work, music… But I don’t really have to list these, do I? What else do we expect from a high-budget Disney movie these days? Scene writing – and directing – was pretty good too. An example: we pick up with Rey just where she ended in the last movie: offering Anakin’s lightsaber to Luke on a forgotten island… He takes it, and then throws it away like nothing – brilliant! That’s the last thing the viewer expects, but at the very same, it aligns very well with Jedi’s ideal of not getting attached to things. To Luke, a Jedi Master, this lightsaber means nothing. It’s a little twist, but a twist that makes sense.

There’s plenty of other fun moments too. Luke teaching Rey the first lesson about the Force? With a blade of grass? I cracked a smile then, and at many other occasions too. Unfortunately, at some point creators seem to have got lost in the form, and stopped caring about the substance – more on that in a second.

Kylo-Rey talks. I loved it. Even more I loved the way Luke-Kylo past was revealed, complete with the little tweaks. When Luke first gives his lie about how he just went to Kylo to talk, this is what we see on screen – a memory he wants to remember. When it’s Kylo’s turn, we see Luke from his POV – a mad killer ready to strike. When we finally get to know the truth, we can see how both the versions came to be, and the whole picture makes an awful lot of sense.

Kylo and Rey vs Snoke. There are problems with this scene, undoubtedly, but overall I would be willing to forget them if not for what followed. Before that, though – the way Kylo killed Snoke was just perfect. I was holding my fingers crossed the entire sequence, and was not let down. Just. Why couldn’t the movie end right then and there?

That would be this. All the pleasant surprises listed above. Should I let my inner critic speak now? And heck, he has a lot to say…

Troublesome worldbuilding and inconsistencies

This is something that I care the least for, when compared to the other stuff, but it’s still a huge problem. See, there are things in this movie that just don’t make sense, or render the past actions laughable. The most obvious thing – destroying a super big imperial ship by jumping into hyperspace for a split of second, then dropping out of it. And I ask – if that’s possible, why didn’t we see any other character do it? Where’re the hyper-drive based missiles, why didn’t the Rebellion use this trick anytime before? Judging by the scale of destruction, they could’ve easily destroyed a Death Star with it – no need for a suicidal mission for a few dozens of pilots, let’s just send a single kamikaze. Bah, if a human can do it, then all the more a droid or a well-programmed computer. We see the ball take control of an imperial walker after all, why can’t it steer a ship as well? No need for anyone to die, let’s just keep building droids and ships with hyper-drive… Oh no, actually, the Empire can do it as well! Look how funny the battle scenes look now – like two fleets of comets raining against each other. Well.

Time flow is another serious problem. We know that the plot is supposed to take 18 hours – and yet Rey manages not only to spend at least a day on Luke’s planet (it feels like much longer), but also to return to the Rebellion in time for her facedown with Snoke and Kylo. What happened? Previously, even travelling by hyperspace took long hours; now it functions like teleportation.

There’re many other problems like this, and I’m sure you’ll find science nerds to list ‘em all. I’ll stop at this – I believe you see the point. And, like I said, this is the least of the problems.

The Force and its philosophy

Long story short, the Force is pretty much omnipotent right now. The sky is the limit! No, wait, actually, the sky is but a little obstacle… After all, Luke’s got no problems fighting Kylo through the Force when he’s in some faraway point of the galaxy. The creators were careful enough not to show us any actual map, but even assuming that they were barely a system away, these are still light years apart. Even in the Prequel Trilogy, for all its flashy somersaults and prophetic dreams, Force Users were not wizards. They could fall to the fire of a few blasters, and they weren’t able to do much against a full unit of fighters. But here? Who cares! Everything can be done, starting with reading one’s entire mind, finishing at surviving in the vacuum for long minutes and even levitating to safety. Basically Jedi are the new Superman of the galaxy, ugh.

Don’t get me wrong. I like magic, and I like the concept of the Force as something more mystical than just ‘microorganisms living in one’s body’. Previously I was often irritated that the characters don’t use it as often as they could, or that they do something outstanding one moment to forget about it twenty minutes later. But here? Here the creators went over the top, then climbed up the Mount Everest, and then decided that they’re still too low. The perfect balance of Force abilities I found in “The Rebels” seasons one and two – here it’s completely broken.

Speaking about the balance… the philosophy is a problem as well. It’s clearly established that the balance of the Force means both the Dark Side and the Light Side. That when there’s great light, there’s also great darkness. The problem is, it doesn’t make sense. If that was the balance, then what about the Chosen One? Why would Jedi wait for him, knowing that he would have to destroy them? Bah, is there any sense fighting for the Light then? We know for sure that the evil will only rise again, because ~balance~. What kind of message is that?

See, previously, the balance of the Force was the Light Side. The Jedi’s philosophy was to surrender to the will of the Force, to preserve harmony. The Dark Side, on the other hand, was extracting your will over the Force. Literally forcing events to go your way. This was why Jedi had various colors of lightsabers, and the Sith only red. This was why Sith’s eyes would change color – to reflect that what they were doing wasn’t natural. Bah, eventually their bodies would rot and turn ugly, distorted. The Light Side Users didn’t suffer that.

Now it’s all over the place. And it doesn’t make sense. Honestly, I never found the idea of surrendering to an outside will compelling, but at least it was consisted and provided a great explanation as to why the Sith are evil, and the Jedi good. Sure, you can say that the Jedi Order eventually rotted and let Darth Sidious rise – but it was because of their complacency and tendency to choose meddling in the politics over guarding the galaxy, not because something was inherently wrong with their philosophy. Now it’s because it was necessary for the balance, apparently.

Structure problems

Putting the clumsy worldbuilding aside, the first two-thirds of the movie are really great. The characters get development. We learn about what happened between Luke and Kylo. Kylo and Rey are having their strange conversations, really enjoyable to watch and adding depth to both of them. Then their showdown with Snoke – and what a twist, Kylo kills his evil master in a clever moment of badassery. And the fight! And Finn and Rose get captured! And the rebel ships are being destroyed one by one! But eventually Kylo and Rey win – what a great finale!

Just that… it’s not the finale yet. There’s another twist – Kylo’s not good after all, he killed his master only to take his place! And the imperial ship got cut in half by a kamikaze attack, so Finn and Rose have to run away ASAP! And the rebels reach their old base, hurray! What a great fina–

No, wait! The baze is now under attack by Kylo! And nobody responds to the rebels’ call for help, and they’re trapped inside, they have to destroy the big-ass cannon that the imperials have brought, and Finn is ready to commit suicide to do so, what a great f–

But wait! Finn is saved by Rose, and Luke suddenly comes for the rescue, now he’s facing against Kylo, and–

Do you see it? There’s no finale in this movie. There’re a good few sequences that would work very well as the finale, if they stood alone. But they don’t – they come one by one, with little to no break in between. The first one’s great, the second a surprise, but the third is tiresome, and the fourth straight-out irritating. You just can’t hold your viewer on the edge for so long – they want a conclusion, not an endless cycle of ‘they almost made it but...’ And I must say, the twists are very cheap too. No foreshadowing whatsoever, no satisfaction when they happen – all save the Snoke scene. Why the creators didn’t decide to go through with what the story was clearly building up to is beyond me. It was perfect, it was interesting, it was against the tropes – and yet they turned around in the last moment. It’s like an overly elaborate matryoshka doll. You unpack a layer after a layer, at first interested but then progressively more annoyed, hoping to finally find the last, whole doll – but in the end there’s nothing inside, just empty air.

Seriously, I felt like the creators were jumping at me from behind the corner, crying, ‘Surprise!’, in their childish belief thinking that they are being clever. But you can laugh at a cheap trick like this once, twice, maybe even thrice – then you’ll find that you’ve had enough. You don’t want every corner to be a playground for the insistent kid. Pulling things out of your ass is not a plot twist.

Just too many unfulfilled promises. After this crazy ride, we ended up just where we started, with a very cliche ending. I can’t even express how massively disappointed I am.

Rey

When I was a child, I dreamt of a female Jedi, you know? I imagined countless little stories of kinda-my-insert training, and eagerly pinpointed female Jedi among the fallen ones in the “Revenge of the Sith” to prove to myself that it was possible.

Nevertheless, Rey is by far the worst Star Wars lead I have ever seen.

She’s nothing. She has no character at all. No writing, no backstory, no motivation to be a hero. Luke wanted to be a Jedi because he wanted to be like his father – and then he had to grow and mature when he discovered his father’s true identity. Rey doesn’t grow, doesn’t mature. You can’t grow something that is nonexistent in the first place.

Why did Rey help Finn and the rebels in “The Force Awakens”? Even Rose has her reasons – she gives us a story of how Empire destroyed her home planet. But what did Empire do to Rey? Nothing. It was her parents who left her on Jakku as a slave. Sure, she wanted to be free, have adventures, just like Luke. But she didn’t have to join rebellion for that. She could’ve just left them once she got off Jakku, become a smuggler, bah, an imperial officer even. Why not?

To Luke, Empire was what killed his father. He wanted revenge, in some extent, I’m certain. Sure, that conviction turned out to be false – but he didn’t know about it when he left Tatooine with Obi-Wan and Han Solo. Rey doesn’t have a motivation. There’s just this weak ‘because everybody can see that Empire is EVUIL, mwhahaha.’ But really, this is a meta reason and as such, should not be considered at all. We as the audience can see it – Rey cannot.

Worse, even. In the second movie, Luke had to face his own Dark Side. First in the cave, where he failed, then in the form of Darth Vader who turned out to be his father – the man Luke had strived to imitate. He thought that it meant becoming a hero, just to discover that he was so, oh so wrong. But at this point he had grown close with the rebellion, with Leia and Han. He had other reasons to fight.

Rey didn’t change in this movie. What was the point of her cave scene? She went in there, saw some funny vision, and went out. No shock, nothing learned. ‘But, Critic,’ you may say, ‘she had an arc this time – she wanted to find out who her parents are!’

No. Just no. Yes, it was mentioned several times, but it was also 100% superficial. It was as if the creators realized that hey, our protagonist is completely bland, we need to give her something – and decided that of course, searching for her parents would be the right thing. Luke had something similar, right? The problem is, this searching in no way reflects in Rey’s actions.

Had it really been an integral part of Rey’s character, she would have taken Kylo’s hand.

Why not? She supposedly struggled to accept the truth that her parents were nobody, that they sold her and then died somewhere away, that they didn’t want her – and here’s the guy that does want her, that begs her to join him. Why shouldn’t she take his offer? From what she knew, Luke abandoned his mission and preferred staying on his tiny island to saving the galaxy. Why shouldn’t she join Kylo, who had just saved her from Snoke, with whom she had faced against multiple opponents?

There’s only one reason – because it’s not what heroes do. But Rey has no reason to be a hero! Bah, she didn’t even need to learn from anybody, she was a perfect good girl from the start. She’s the one lecturing Luke about his duties, not the other way round. Even Yoda states that she already knows what it means to be a Jedi. How? Why? How dare you ask! She’s super powerful because, uhm, ah… I know! Because balance! Because when Dark Kylo grows stronger, then so does Rey, because she’s his counterpart in the Light.

Don’t you find it ironic? The creators pretty much admitted that Kylo was the one who did all the heavy lifting. Rey’s power isn’t something she achieved – she was given it by the Force for the sake of ill-understood balance, because Kylo worked hard to grow more powerful.

Blah. And the creators probably congratulate themselves on writing a strong female lead. How condescending can you get? I want a female Jedi as the lead – but I want a female Jedi who is a character, not a mere plot device with a ‘woman’ slapped on the back as her only characteristic. I’ll eagerly wait for one – right now, I can only turn to “Clone Wars” and Ahsoka.

That would be all. I’m pretty sure that I missed plenty of things – but I feel fulfilled nonetheless. Thank you for reading so far, and may the Salt be with you. Always.

[iainwrites]

The Rise of Skywalker Likes and Dislikes

This is going to talk very bluntly and blatantly about things that happened in the movie.  So if you’ve been holding off on seeing it, here’s your warning.  Or if you don’t want to read someone criticizing something you enjoyed.  Skip past everything.

Likes:

-Finn at the beginning.  It’s nice to see his character growth from oblivious and try-to-hard former Stormtrooper, to still a little blundering Resistance fighter but still shows he’s capable, to a man confident in himself/in himself/in his friends and allies.

-When Chebacca learns of Leia’s death.  That’s the look of someone who has lost their oldest friends and don’t even have the strength to be angry.  There’s just loss.  THAT is one of the most powerful moments in this whole movie.

-Fine.  Ben’s “Okay bitches.  Now we can do this.” shrug before carving through the Knights is a great bit of physical acting and (I guess) comedy.

-The new main trio meet at the end and… hug.  No kissing.  No pairing off.  Three people who just survived a war and are happy that each is still alive.  Especially Finn.  This is his family and they’re okay.  Not everything has to end with hook-ups or resolved love triangles.  

Dislikes and Opinions:

-Palpatine.  Why?  He did his bit in the prequels, died in the OT, had no bearing in either TFA or TLJ.  So why bring him back now?

-What was the point of Rose in this?  She gets limited screen-time and doesn’t move the plot along.  The movie could have used this as a means to continue its slow show of representation, but apparently that’s a bridge too far.  But we did get Naomi Ackie as a supporting character of color with screentime and lines?  So we… traded?  Maintained?

-The fuck was with that Finn “I have something to tell you” line?  There was no lead in from any of the prior movies at all.  And no, it doesn’t count if it was revealed in the novelisation of either of the previous films.

-So Rey can sense Chewie is on a ship… but can’t tell that he’s on a different ship than the one she blows up?  Or that he’s not on the ship that she’s telekinetically fighting over?

-D-O is cute factor and nothing more or better.  Add onto that: Babu was there for cute factor.  And people shit on Jar Jar (me included) because he was written as something to entertain children.

-Rey is a Palpatine.  Why was that a choice that was made?  Why does she have to be related to anyone pre-existing in the Star Wars canon?  And why did things have to be explained not in the movie, but in tweets, interviews, the novelisation, etc?  Like the fact that Rey is a Palpatine.  Movie made you think that one of her parents was Sheev’s child, right?  Which one?  Sorry, didn’t tell us.  Oh, and it was her father, by the way.  Oh, and he wasn’t Palpatine’s child; he was actually a failed clone of Palpatine.  And that’s just one part.

-How does the blade work in the grand scheme of things?  Was it made after the destruction of the Death Star (because how else would it be able to line up so well with the wreckage)?  Who made it?  Why didn’t they pillage Palpatin’s hidden room of important shit?  Why didn’t they pass it on immediately to Kylo if he’s the second coming of Vader?

-Leia’s death.  Yes, all they had was archival footage.  So you mean to tell me that they couldn’t have done anything with that miraculous CGI technology to create a facial/vocal facsimile?  That they had no point of reference of ever doing that?  That there was absolutely no budget?  Or that rewrites were an impossible thing?  Because “Leia lays down, dies, and gives her son a moment to pause and get stabbed” isn’t doing right by Carrie Fisher or respecting her legacy.  That’s “Well, this is what we have.  Guess all we can do is use only what we have to make something and not put any more effort into it.”

-”We have no source material!” Except the whole “Emperor trying to find a new body” thing was done in Dark Empire.  As was the fact that the Emperor we saw was a clone that decayed rapidly without a Force-strong host.  And the fleet of ships to turn the tide of things was done with the Katana Fleet.  And Force Heal has been done in games like the GBA version of Revenge of the Sith.  And and and.

-Han Solo forgives his son!  Except it’s not Han, or a Force Ghost of Han (because Han wasn’t Force sensitive or trained to become self aware in the Cosmic Force after he died because that’s the explanation that they’ve been establishing in the Clone Wars TV series since the end of Season 6), but a figment of Ben’s imagination.  So Ben imagined that his father forgave him for murdering him.  … That’s not how it works.  If you’re imagining your murder victim forgiving you, there’s probably some deep psychological shit to deal with.

-People have talked about it, so I’ll hop on the train: how in the hell did Lando travel quickly enough to get that many ships when a distress call put out by Leia herself couldn’t shift asses?  How can he cover that much area, gather all those ships, then get through the mists or whatever the shit surround Exogal when one of those tracking beacon/map thingies have been set up as the only way a ship can travel through?

-For everything that Abrams did to negate TLJ, Palpatine’s monologue of Rey’s actions is very similar to Snoke’s monologue of Ren’s actions.  Down to the “HAHA PSYCH!” moment.

-The Knights of Ren are just a shit-show.  The name sounds cool, though, right!  Aaannnddd they’re killed off without a single line said or them proving to be any sort of threat representative of their “feared” name.

-Here’s something: when all the past Jedi are talking to Rey, you’re told who the male voices belong to (including stuff like Young Obi-Wan and Kanan).  But you only get Female Jedi 1 and Female Jedi 2.  That’s kind of fucked up and sexist, right?

-They set up Rey’s anger throughout the trilogy as being her path to the Dark Side (going as far to show what she could be like if she gives into those darker urges)... and never really do anything to resolve it.

-They REALLY lean into the idea that Finn is Force sensitive in this movie, don’t they?  Despite no evidence of it in any other movie.

-The random scene of just revived Rey grasping Ben’s hand and the frames drop (maybe that’s just my copy, but it's still a standout).  If it’s something everyone gets… then why the hell is something that glaring still in the movie.

-The kiss.  The novelisation said that the kiss was one of “gratitude,” but seriously?  Rogue One had a moment of gratitude where Jyn and Cassian are together and they… hug.  That’s it.  Piss off with your gratitude; there was a kiss because this movie substitutes sense with forced fanservice and they knew that people wanted to see Rey and Kylo together at some point.  Just like they likely kept Rose out of the movie because people gave Kelly Marie Tran shit.  Like that could have made the movie even possibly worse.

-Ben dies and fades away… and Leia’s body fades away at the same time.  Even though she’s been dead for a day+ at this point.  Because… she connected her spirit to her son?  See, that’s something I pulled completely out of thin air, but wouldn’t it be nice if that was the truth and the movie actually explained that was what happened instead of just giving random ass coincidences?

-Rey Skywalker.  Why does she have to be Rey Anybody?  There could have been such a positive spin to what she said earlier in the movie.  “Just Rey.”  Have her say it with pride and ownership now.  She’s her own person, unburdened by the names of those who have gone before.  She doesn’t have any name to live up to.

-Fuck you for your obvious, blatant and unecessary fanservice and self pleasing imagery where the twin suns are arranged to look like BB-8.  He’s not so important that one of the last lingering moments has to be of your new creation, Abrams.  You’re not so essential to Star Wars that you have to make a “HEY LOOK AT ME THE GUY WHO MADE THIS MOVIE” made-for-screenshots image.

Meh

-There’s no meh.  There are just rare moments of contentment amongst a constant feeling of disappointment and frustration.

Random Asides

-Kathleen Kennedy did an interview with Rolling Stone in November of 2019 leading up to The Rise of Skywalker.  You may have seen it float around, but she said “Every one of these movies is a particularly hard nut to crack. There’s no source material. We don’t have comic books. We don’t have 800-page novels.”  It’s in relation to how difficult it is to write and direct the movies, but come on.  There’s TONS of source material, dating as far back 1977 for the comics AND the novels.  There might not be 800 page novels, but there are trilogies, doulogies and massive story arcs that exceed those numbers (NJO and Legacy of the Force may not be your thing, but they’re there).  Rebels went and borrowed Zeb’s look from the original script AND took characters directly from Zahn’s Thrawn trilogy; Clone Wars pulled from Legends while Legends were still considered canon and afterwards.  Not all of it is good; it’d be difficult to translate a lot of it to screen without heavy edits these days.

“I love that we have these amazingly passionate fans who care so much. And I know sometimes they may think we don’t listen, but we do, and I thought it was fantastic that people got that engaged. It just showed me and everybody else how much they care. And that’s important for all of us that are doing this. We really look at them as the custodians of this story as much as [we are]. We look at it as kind of a partnership.”  Except when we’re not happy with a product that turns out to be sub-par.  Piss right off.

-Billie Dee Williams seems like he’s dropped in from a different movie entirely.  Not a bad thing; his delivery and presence is just so different from anyone else’s.

All In All

-It’s my least favorite of all the movies.  Worse than any of the prequels.  And say what you will about the prequels: at least they had a connecting story and the director didn’t try to kneecap something that happened in the middle movie before burying it in a shallow grave while taking a dump on the things left behind that didn’t fit in their vision.  It’s worse than Solo.  No amount of fanservice can fix the fact that the movie was by-and-large unenjoyable.   

[gffa]

I am so ridiculously in love with STAR WARS fic, I am so happy it exists, I am so happy that there are others writing out of such love for the stories they tackle, that there’s such warmth and care in fandom, that there’s so many talented people who bring such good things to fandom and this list has a bunch of things that just made me all fizzy and warm and happy.  There is such love in this fandom sometimes and I really, really want to share that with everyone, so here have some fics that will make you fall in love with everyone and everything all over again, even if sometimes they break your heart while doing it! THERE ARE SOME STELLAR FICS HERE, PLEASE ENJOY. ✦ Coda by lilyconrad, obi-wan/anakin & padme/sabe & cast, modern au, 55.1k wip    Anakin is an up-and-coming first soloist for the New York City Ballet Company, a brash, confident dancer with a smoldering sensuality to his technique and an electric smile that makes fangirl toes curl and quite possibly his choreographer’s. ✦ Precipice by shadowsong26, obi-wan & anakin & padme & palpatine & bail & rex & cast, 87.6k wip    An AU in which Anakin Skywalker does not follow Mace Windu and the others to Palpatine’s office after they leave to arrest the Chancellor. As a result, he doesn’t get that final push over the edge, and doesn’t Fall. ✦ Cataclasm by dendral, obi-wan & anakin & ahsoka & waxer & cast, 20.8k wip    For reasons unknown to all but himself, Obi-Wan Kenobi has left the Jedi Order in the midst of the Clone Wars, taking with him a single clone. Anakin Skywalker has been unofficially tasked by the Order to find Obi-Wan and bring him home. ✦ untitled by stonefreeak, obi-wan & depa, 2.1k    “Barefoot, Master Kenobi?” The amused voice cuts through Obi-Wan’s meditation, and he surfaces quickly. He opens his eyes and finds himself face-to-face with Depa Billaba, a faint smile on her face. ✦ Return by writegowrite, obi-wan/anakin, amnesia, 1.2k    Anonymous asked: I wish you would write a fic where… Ok this has been on my mind for a while, perhaps it gives inspiration: Anakin or Obi-Wan goes MIA, returns with a memory loss (not permanent, that’s too angsty for me haha). I adore all your writing so anything goes tbh! ✦ Infinite chapter 18 - Hollow by Ripki, obi-wan/anakin, warnings, 1.1k for this chapter    The aftermath of a mission gone disastrously wrong. ✦ Distaff by shadowsong26, obi-wan & anakin/padme & palpatine & cast, fem!anakin, 17.6k wip    In which Anakin Skywalker is a cis lady and the twins’ gestating parent. ✦ The Exchange by MissLearn, obi-wan & anakin & some anakin/padme & ahsoka & qui-gon & rex & cast, time travel, 57.8k wip    ROTS Obi-Wan and Anakin are swapped with their younger, TPM, selves. It changes things, in both parallels. ✦ The Force Ghosts Get Kicked Out ficlet by fireflyfish, obi-wan & anakin & kylo & cast, 1.3k    “Uuugh! Grandfather does he have to live with you? Uncle Ben is so… good and nice and… charming.” ✦ untitled by fireflyfish, obi-wan & anakin & ahsoka & cast, 1.1k    “Club? What club?” Obi-Wan asked, confused. “Anakin? Has someone angered you?” “Yes!” Anakin said, pounding his left fist on the table, since he had broken another dining table with his right hand the last time he threw a fit in the dining hall. “How dare you have a special Obi-Wan club and not tell me!” ✦ Vision Void by aradian_nights, luke & ahsoka & ezra & kanan & cast, 23.9k    After a rather intense vision, Luke Organa sets out to save his former mentor, Ahsoka Tano. ✦ Fate Defied by aradian_nights, obi-wan & leia & ezra & cast, 16k    Leia Skywalker’s determined to become a Jedi like her father, but before that she must face the reality of letting go. ✦ Lessons to learn by DonkerRood, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, 2.3k    Obi-Wan teaches Anakin a lesson and finds out some important information too. ✦ Against The Wall by Icse, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, d/s elements, somewhat darker themes, ~1k    ‘Anakin grunted as he was forced against the wall, the hand in his hair pressing his face into the rough stone.’ full details + recs under the cut!

✦ Coda by lilyconrad, obi-wan/anakin & padme/sabe & cast, modern au, 55.1k wip    Anakin is an up-and-coming first soloist for the New York City Ballet Company, a brash, confident dancer with a smoldering sensuality to his technique and an electric smile that makes fangirl toes curl and quite possibly his choreographer’s.    Chapters 1-3: A ballet AU is not something I thought I would be that interested in, but I’ve enjoyed the author’s other fic, so, sure, why not. And I promptly got sucked in like you wouldn’t believe! It helped that the fic started out with Anakin sitting on Obi-Wan’s lap while jerking the both of them off (well, not right off, there’s set-up first!), but I think I would have fallen for the fic even without that, because it’s everything I really enjoy about human AUs in this fandom–the characters are easy to picture in these circumstances, there’s some gorgeous clothes, there’s something so sharp and charismatic about the writing, and the attraction between these two characters is wild. It reaches that part of me that feels these two characters would find each other in every universe and would be wildly attracted to each other in all of them, but it also reaches the part of me that’s super into well done AUs, where Anakin as a dancer works surprisingly well and Obi-Wan as a choreographer is just as good.   It helps that the fic feels like it knows where it’s going, that it has a solid outline, and, okay, sure, it’s only three chapters so far, but it feels like 12 chapters will be just the right length for it and I’m so eager to see where it goes, where the relationship between these two will go. Because they have a legitimate reason to stay apart from each other, to not date, but it’s not like that’s going to last terribly long, not with the attraction between them! And it’s just… also a really good combination of low-key drama and fluff, so it’s not sugary sweet, but it’s not heartbreaking either, and I really, really enjoy that combination in these chapters! And it has such lovely descriptions of Anakin’s dancing, of course he’d be a beautiful dancer, all that grace and passion! There’s such a solidity to the fic and it has such great little details (the bit with the wine in chapter 3 was lovely) and… there was a comment the author made, that this is a fic that’s an echo of their personalities, rather than the circumstances of their canon lives and I think that’s what I’ve been trying to put into words, that it’s a fluffy fic and I love that, but I feel like it’s that one world where they got a nice life together and I WANT THAT FOR THEM. ♥    Chapter 4: This is an update rec and will focus on this chapter rather than the fic as a whole. Ahhh, I continue to love this story, it’s a little bit more angsty in this chapter, but in general it’s not a heartbreaker of a story, and I’m just really enjoying the chance to have something kinder and softer for once in their multitude of lives across various incarnations and fics. I also really enjoyed the interaction between Anakin and Sabe in this chapter, so often the other characters can just feel like talking heads or only there to be mouthpieces, but I felt Sabe had a real charm to her, a sparkle that I can’t put my finger on specifics, but I certainly felt it, and it was just really nice to read something that didn’t feel like it was trying too hard, like there’s this… really warm, natural, easy charm to everything, including their adorable scene together! But also the sheer amount of attraction between Obi-Wan and Anakin, the grace in both characters, slightly different but there with both of them, which reminds me of the canon and how they’re both physically gifted there as well, but in a different way from that, yet works for me here. The way Anakin is drawn to him, the way they movetogether, oh, that all went straight to my shippy heart, just as much as Anakin getting on his knees and blowing Ben and I love that they try to stay away from each other but, oh, that never lasted long and it doesn’t have to be shocking or a major reveal to be thoroughly engaging and charming a read!    Chapter 5: This is an update rec, so it will focus on this chapter, rather than the fic as a whole. Ahhhh, this chapter was really… well, I hesitate to say “fun” because it was full of some questionable stuff (deliberately so, of course) but it really actually was sort of fun, to see Anakin’s stalker pop up and to see how Obi-Wan dealt with him. Sometimes, because we mostly see Obi-Wan interacting with Anakin or Ahsoka or clones or other Jedi, whom he’s either very fond of or has respect for, it’s easy to forget how dangerous that guy is, to forget how lethal and terrifying he is. So, a chapter dedicated to Obi-Wan fucking up the stalker’s life? To just beating him down without touching him, in a way that still felt physically threatening? That was really, really satisfying. And it was really well written, too! The physical aspects of the scene were never quite stepping over the line, but I very much felt that danger the entire time, it was not at all hard to half-imagine how it might have gone, that uneasy sense of looming physical violence was portrayed incredibly well!   Yet at the same time, this is still Obi-Wan, who can be so kind, who Anakin trusts completely, who has my heart as well, because I love him so much. The parts around the major confrontation in the fic are just as wonderful–Anakin’s reactions to everything, there’s just such a magnetic sort of chemistry between him and Obi-Wan, a delightful cameo from Rex, and Anakin straight up lying about behaving himself. Between the satisfying badass Obi-Wan scenes to protect Anakin, to solve his problem for him, because Obi-Wan always solves Anakin’s problems, and all the other stuff, this was an absolutely delightful, engaging chapter to read!    Chapter 6-9: This is an update rec and will focus on these chapters, rather than the fic as a whole. It’s been awhile since I sat down to write a proper rec for this fic, but let me absolutely fix that now, because I really love this story and I have a lot of feelings about it and I can’t believe the story is at over 50k now and yet it’s still perfectly paced and wonderful. Chapter 6 is the one I’d been waiting for for ages, of course, where we finally get to the Good Stuff and, oh, it was lovely and warm-hearted and satisfying for the two of them coming together, that it’d taken ages, but it was worth the wait because there was such love here. It’s not a totally, 100% fluffy fic, there’s a lot of angst in both their pasts and their futures, of course, because chapter 6 is just barely past the halfway point, but there’s so much care and connection here, that it’s a universe where they cantell each other things, that they’ve been nudged into the right direction for it and given the chance and it’s so, so satisfying to see them actually telling each other about their personal issues. It soothes something in me to read fic like this! But, well, also sexy times! The way Ben is so gentle and slow with pushing into Anakin finally, Anakin so needy and desperate for him, and they come together in this warm, kind way, Anakin holding himself up and open for Ben, having all that love and attention poured onto and into him, like they were meant to be drawn together just like this. It’s such a lovely scene, that it’s eager and hungry with both of them, but also soft and full of love, exactly what this modern AU called for. And the writing has such lovely, pretty imagery as well, there’s something beautiful about it, in a way that evokes such clear images in my mind, like fanart come to live in my head, and I love it for that, too. (The line about a hundred worlds and lives together, the line about Anakin’s tanned fingers against the black wood of the headboard, the way Anakin’s arms and legs wrap around Ben, so many pretty images!)    But sometimes it’s little things as well! Chapter 7 starts with a warm, sleepy morning after, just complete and utter domesticity that works so well because Anakin is so in love, of course he’s in love, this is completely Anakin Skywalker and how could Ben not love him back in the same way? There’s something so cozy and intimate in these scenes, it’s so easy to see why Anakin falls so hard and fast (as well as Ben falls in love with him, because, oh, it’s Anakin, how could anyone not?), that they have this incredible thing for awhile, that life is wonderful and good and kind. I love that the chapter has so many fun scenes, with just the two of them or with their friends, out in a park where they can just be. Having those moments builds up the relationship, in addition to just being fun to read because, goddammit, they deserve happiness sometimes! You know it can’t last, not forever, but it’s so good while they have it! Talking about dream roles while lounging on each other and having a picnic in the park? With another author I might have found it too sappy, but Lily’s writing works for me, it’s soft and kind here, but it embraces the premise and appeals and is just really well-done! And chapter 8 is more warmth and connection, where we get more of Ben’s past, where it’s this really wonderful scene of trust and feeling able to tell the other person about themselves, showing a universe where they can have this and can do this, which I would love the fic for by itself.    But I can’t lie, I knew chapter 9 was coming and I kind of ate it up like delicious candy–not the least because it starts out with this lazy morning, where Anakin has been working himself over and open, so when Ben slowly wakes up, Anakin is ready to slide a leg over him and ride him slowly and deliciously, this utterly warm scene that’s almost decadant in how rich and beautiful it felt to me. Perhaps I’m just weak to the elements of the fic, god knows it’s hitting my id pretty spot on, but I really think there’s a magic here, a charisma and charm that the author has in spades and makes their writing so very good! Of course, the kindness can’t last and shit has to hit the fan and it’s, oh, it’s so Anakin in how he reacts, how viciously he lashes out, how cutting he can be in his anger and fear and despair, that all the good things previous to this are very much Anakin Skywalker, but so too is him losing his shit and shredding everything he can that’s between them because he can’t stop himself.    It might have seemed gratuitous in another fic, but between the set-up and the writing and how it felt destined to go here from pretty much the beginning, I actually kind of really loved it. I mean, my heart hurts for both the characters and there’s such angst and you know it’ll take awhile to fix, but it’s true to the fic and it’s beautifully done and it gave me feelings! It’s one of those things where… it’s cruel and such a terrible wound, but there’s something beautiful about all of it. This really is a gorgeous fic.    Chapter 10-12: I meant to make these three chapters last a bit, once I started catching up, but I just couldn’t, I read all of them in one sitting because I couldn’t put it down and it was probably the better choice because these three chapters make for an incredibly satisfying arc-within-the-greater-story and where I’m left off is a really good place. By this point, I think there will be some spoilers in the rec (which I usually try to balance with “this is why I think someone who hasn’t read this fic should read this fic!” vagueness), but you can read the above recs still if you’re trying to decide whether you want to read it or not, if that’s helpful to you. But also I think, given the pacing and overall track the fic took, that a breakup was coming at some point, so I wasn’t really surprised by it and while I absolutely had a lot of feelings about it (especially Anakin lashing out in anger because he’s such an emotional storm that gets out of control), I think I was more affected by the aftermath of it in chapter 10. The dull, heavy, ache in my chest that I remember from when I’m upset or depressed, that sense of the world having all the color leeched out of it, just the sense of being sad was really well done there, after Anakin realizes how much he’s fucked up and how much Ben blames himself for how things ended between them, that he felt it was his fault somehow. And that was a heartbreaking echo of canon, that Obi-Wan holds himself responsible for things that could not possibly be his fault, because he thinks he should do everything perfectly the first time, and because he loves Anakin so much, because he’s so protective of this person he sees vulnerability in and cares so much for him, like that spirit is very much one I recognized from canon events.    But I love that it doesn’t go too overboard with it, it’s clear that Obi-Wan is actually depressed and in a modern AU he’s on anti-depressants for it, yet chapters 11 and 12 are about doing the hard work of actually working through things. (And this is one of the rare fics where Obi-Wan being depressed is done well for me!) That Anakin is so incredibly sorry about what he’s done, that Ben is hurt by Anakin’s words, but sets them aside because he’s such an incredibly caring person, but also he won’t just forget them, either. They both have to workto communicate, but it won’t just instantly be solved, because Obi-Wan Kenobi simply is a reserved person, as some people are, and while he’ll work to better communicate with Anakin, he’ll never be naturally effusive and that’s something that needs to be accepted, just as Anakin is naturally demonstrative and he has to learn to trust better and not fly out of control so much, but that his emotional storms being so close to the surface is just as valid a way to be as Obi-Wan’s reserved nature. That they find ways to connect and understand each other even knowing those things about each other!    Which is why the little details of this story are so wonderful, because they’re all about that showing-rather-than-telling, especially when it comes to Ben’s character. The use of his drawings, what they mean and what they say about him, that’s beautifully done, it has weight because that’s the sort of understated but entirely genuinely meant gesture Obi-Wan would do. Or the ways they touch each other, the touch to Anakin’s face or Anakin curling up on his leg to rest after a hard day’s exercise, these things aren’t just pretty images (though, they are that, too) but they have such charisma to them because they mean something, they’re all about the state of the relationship the characters are in and where they’re at with each other and how they’re this lovely quiet intimacy! This is why the fic is so good about showing the passion between them, why it’s a lovely extention of Ben’s passion that’s always been there when they do finally come back to each other, when they can touch and love each other again, and he practically shoves Anakin onto the bed to fuck him, nearly overwhelming Anakin, who is filled up with everything in that moment, just as he wants to be. I think I loved that image as much as I loved the kiss in the rain, that they agreed to try again (and, oh, my heart had been so invested in that moment, too) and they shared a beautifully passionate intimate moment where the rest of the world wasn’t even there anymore. The fic really does a beautiful job with that, with how everything else just fades into the background when these two are together, whether they’re lounging in bed together or on the sofa or fucking or kissing in the rain, it’s just beautifully crafted intimacy.    It’s a fic that’s very much about softer edges (even with the breakup, I would still classify this as being more of a fluff fic than anything), this is a universe where they have so much more breathing room, so that when the internal issues between them (versus the external issues in canon, like the war and Palpatine) come up, they have the space and time and kindness of this softer universe to work through them. That we get to see them struggle through an awkward conversation about what they each need from the other, which they can do because they’re not being pressured from every angle, but instead can see the road through this problem and so they start to walk it. It’s a fic about a kinder universe for the characters, a fic about their relationship, and that’s probably not going to be for everyone, it’s definitely a shipper fic, but it’s such a good one, it engaged me from the very beginning and I haven’t let up with that joy in every page I read for a moment. And, oh, it has such pretty, pretty imagery! Kisses in the rain! Warm, loving, intimate sex during their first time! Finally coming back together after months apart and Ben holding Anakin down against the mattress to fuck him, that Anakin is his again, finally, as he should be, that Anakin soaks all of this up and all the other noise is pushed out of his head. It’s a fic about loveand how its course does not always run smooth, but it can still find a way. ✦ Precipice by shadowsong26, obi-wan & anakin & padme & palpatine & bail & rex & cast, 87.6k wip    An AU in which Anakin Skywalker does not follow Mace Windu and the others to Palpatine’s office after they leave to arrest the Chancellor. As a result, he doesn’t get that final push over the edge, and doesn’t Fall.    I have been absolutely consumed with this fic and I fear I will not write a rec that can accurately reflect how much I loved reading it and how incredibly good it is. It caught my attention for being about Anakin raising Leia and Padme raising Luke, as those are the more neglected sides of the parent/child duos in fandom, but I got so much more than that when I picked this one up to read, as it’s a Divergent Timeline fic where Anakin doesn’t fall and what that changes. It’s told from various people’s point of view, so it covers a good span of the events that happen in the aftermath of the fall of the Republic and the rise of the Empire and every single character is incredibly spot on, but also that this fic is one of the best I’ve read at keeping true to the tone and feeling of the galaxy far, far away. It’s incredibly engaging to read a story about these characters, how much they care about each other, how touching the Anakin/Padme relationship can be, how important Obi-Wan & Anakin’s relationship can be, what an incredibly good person Bail Organa is, how Anakin struggles with trying to be a better person and there’s nothing but love and sympathy from me for him as he doesn’t always do things perfectly, that Obi-Wan is such an incredibly noble character and he’s a rock that Anakin can rely on, that Padme can be delicate and grieving while also still have such strength of character as she gets back up again and keeps moving forward.    I love this story for those characters and how many feelings I had, but I also love it for how utterly engaged I was in reading it, that the plot portion of the story, as told through various characters’ eyes and the missions they run or their dealings with Palpatine or the fights they get into, showing how long and grueling this fight is, but how they take hope in finding friends again. Anakin and Rex meeting up again! Anakin going home to see Leia! Every scene where Padme relies on her handmaidens or spends time with Luke! Obi-Wan watching over Anakin to still help guide him! The way they’re in such a difficult position sometimes, how they want to do more, but they only have so many resources, this fic understands these characters and the delicate political balance they’re often put into, while still making it so, so emotionally charged and heartbreaking-with-hope.    It’s an incredibly strong fic, one where I was just entirely engrossed by the halfway point, and it’s so satisfying for the character interactions (I love Anakin’s scenes with Leia and Padme’s with Luke and every chapter Obi-Wan appears in is fantastic and the rest of the cast slowly coming together and all the details put into this fic, the ship Anakin gets, the letters he and Padme write, the way Padme conceals Luke from Palpatine, the use of a new apprentice, the sheer scope of loss when the Jedi are dead, the emotional struggles Anakin goes through, like, shit, this fic actually does the work to build up a plot here! one that’s genuinely shaping up to be epic in scope, while not dragging its feet, but not glossing over it too much, either!) that’s a recent fave and I only wish I could write a better rec for it because I want everyone to go read it immediately, it’s so goddamned spot on and true to the canon. ✦ Cataclasm by dendral, obi-wan & anakin & ahsoka & waxer & cast, 20.8k wip    For reasons unknown to all but himself, Obi-Wan Kenobi has left the Jedi Order in the midst of the Clone Wars, taking with him a single clone. Anakin Skywalker has been unofficially tasked by the Order to find Obi-Wan and bring him home.    Chapters 5-6: I read these two chapters together and, ahhh, let me tell you how in love I am with this story, it’s such a good fic, it’s so beautifully written and has such great characterization and is really true to the spirit of the show and also I WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS NEXT. I really appreciate all the things that hit my buttons just right, that even when Obi-Wan and Anakin aren’t in the same room, that relationship is so important, that it’s a great relationship for its own sake, but also to show the instability of Anakin’s character, while never losing sympathy for him. That he feels so unbalanced and angry about this loss, that I have such feelings for what he’s going through, even as I worry for him, too. But the fic is also amazingly well done in terms of plot, the teasing bits of why Obi-Wan left the way he did, the details that Anakin has to hunt down as he’s finding it impossible to track Obi-Wan, that there’s clearly something bigger at play here, but we don’t know what yet, all of that is fantastic, too.    But also! The fic touching on other characters’ reactions, too! Boil’s scene was so heartbreaking, as was Ahsoka’s point of view about her feelings on the loss of Obi-Wan, that it was delicious in how much they care about him, how much of a steadying presence he was in their lives, as well as how much it hurt in such a beautifully done way. The reactions to that kind of loss, the struggle to work through the feelings of not understanding the why of it, all are beautifully done. But even more than all that, I love how this fic is nudging things in a better direction, giving the characters the chance to understand each other a little better, like with Mace and Yoda and Anakin and Bant, that it gives them the opportunity to connect a little better, to be able to show the support that of course they would give. So that when Anakin confides in Palpatine, it’s just enough off-balance that it maybe leans Anakin back towards the good, and that is so satisfying. It’s a fic that’s got a great plot that really hooks a person in, it’s so engaging and well-written and well-characterized and addictive, but it’s also got such incredible heart to it. I have feelings for every character that’s appeared so far, you can tell that the fic loves and/or appreciates every single one of them, that it does a brilliant job with every single one of them. I love Obi-Wan, I love Anakin, I love Ahsoka, I love Waxer, I love all of them, and this fic is doing justice to them and the story idea already. ✦ untitled by stonefreeak, obi-wan & depa, 2.1k    “Barefoot, Master Kenobi?” The amused voice cuts through Obi-Wan’s meditation, and he surfaces quickly. He opens his eyes and finds himself face-to-face with Depa Billaba, a faint smile on her face.    This is part of the larger Supreme Chancellor Kenobi universe, but I think it could be read reasonably well on its own and, oh, I loved it a lot. It’s a conversation between two people that almost never interact in canon and yet feels entirely natural and organic, it makes sense that they’ve drawn together for this moment and that each of them are in a place where they would have this conversation with the other person. And not just that, but it’s understated in just the right way, while still having an emotional impact, it’s all about the weight Depa’s carrying around with her and how she’s trying to come back from what happened and how Obi-Wan helps her with that and how it helps him in turn, and it’s just really, really a beautiful piece. ✦ Return by writegowrite, obi-wan/anakin, amnesia, 1.2k    Anonymous asked: I wish you would write a fic where… Ok this has been on my mind for a while, perhaps it gives inspiration: Anakin or Obi-Wan goes MIA, returns with a memory loss (not permanent, that’s too angsty for me haha). I adore all your writing so anything goes tbh!    Well, so, this fic put tears in my eyes by the end of it, in exactly the way it was meant to. I’m a sucker for amnesia fic when it’s used well and, oh, this one was so good and gave me all these intense feelings, that Anakin was so off-balance and upset by Obi-Wan not remembering anything of him, trying to find something that would jog his memory from Obi-Wan’s personal effects, and what he finds and what’s revealed because of it, oh, it’s done so satisfyingly, THAT is why I read amnesia fic. That a secret can tumble out so easily because the context has been stripped away, so that they don’t know the reason to keep it hidden, and the last line just paints this perfect image in my head, I can see every bit of the scene there, and it gave me feelings everywhere. This was such a lovely fic! ✦ Infinite chapter 18 - Hollow by Ripki, obi-wan/anakin, warnings, 1.1k for this chapter    The aftermath of a mission gone disastrously wrong.    I literally let out a quiet gasp when I saw this fic had updated, because it’s one I so enjoyed and, of course, it figures that it comes with a traumatizing one for an update, but I absolutely read it and enjoyed it, it’s a lovely fic that’s angsty and heartbreaking and while I’m not usually one for such mean fic, I really did like this one and recommend it, if you’re not as gunshy about them as I usually am! Plus, you know, feelings. ✦ Distaff by shadowsong26, obi-wan & anakin/padme & palpatine & cast, fem!anakin, 17.6k wip    In which Anakin Skywalker is a cis lady and the twins’ gestating parent.    I have a thing for emotionally messy characters getting sex swapped because I will always want more emotionally messy female characters explored, and so I went into this one expecting some interesting stuff in that vein (which I definitely got) but, holy shit, I did not expect the sheer avalanch of feelings in every single one of the scenes from Obi-Wan’s point of view. While I love the Anakin/Padme relationship and I love that Anakin finds herself pregnant via the Force just like her mother was, the insights into the characters, both in the things that are and aren’t the same as in canon, are gorgeous here. The conversation between Obi-Wan and Anakin about each side asking Anakin to spy on the other was masterful, it had such gorgeous nuance to everything, that it showed the Jedi making a misstep, but the why of it was perfectly nailed down in Obi-Wan’s thoughts, and he cares so much about his former Padawan, he tries so hard to find the best way to reach her, knowing that she’s reactive and volatile, but never once is Anakin anything less than beautifully sympathetic, even when she’s unfair and distant.    It’s one of those retellings of ROTS that’s fun for the differences (like Palpatine musing on how to use Anakin’s pregnancy against her, his suspicions on who the father is and how that plays into his manipulations), but also does an amazing job of making the pain fresh all over again, it does an incredible job of getting inside each of the characters’ heads, it does a magnificent job of showing the impossible positions everyone is in, why they made the choices they did, there’s nuance and complexity and no good answers, and it’s a gorgeous, gorgeous fic that I consumed in one sitting because I couldn’t put it down. ✦ The Exchange by MissLearn, obi-wan & anakin & some anakin/padme & ahsoka & qui-gon & rex & cast, time travel, 57.8k wip    ROTS Obi-Wan and Anakin are swapped with their younger, TPM, selves. It changes things, in both parallels.    Chapters 10-11: This is an update rec and will focus on these chapters, rather than the fic as a whole. Ahh, another time when I should have let it build up more, but I couldn’t because I had to read now, especially when it’s continuing the Obi-Wan and Anakin feelings all over the place. It’s so incredibly satisfying, there’s so much emotional outpouring here, especially when the two Anakins switch places and so all the feelings that they’ve conveyed to each other are clashing/contrasting against the other version of their Master/Padawan. Moppet Anakin with Master Obi-Wan and Knight Anakin with Knight Obi-Wan and they understand so much more, but also all that history isn’t there anymore, and, ahhhh, it’s so good. And yet there’s still connection there, that even this different version of the person they care about is still there with them, there’s still that gravity between them. Plus, oh, man, Master Obi-Wan with Moppet Anakin is ADORABLE. And just how much Obi-Wan puts up with when it comes to Anakin, every moment of realization of just how much patience and kindness and carehe’s put into Anakin over the years, done in a way that also shows how wonderful Anakin’s character is, oh, I’m serious, I could read this forever. It’s so engaging and charismatic and wonderful. ✦ The Force Ghosts Get Kicked Out ficlet by fireflyfish, obi-wan & anakin & kylo & cast, 1.3k    “Uuugh! Grandfather does he have to live with you? Uncle Ben is so… good and nice and… charming.”    It probably would help to be familiar with the running gags around these threads, the references to pancakes and spoiled rotten Anakin Skywalker, but I can’t resist recommending this as a proper fic because it’s so much fun, it’s so light-hearted and silly and well-written and delightful that it just makes me fizzy and happy after reading it! I have such a smile on my face because it’s hilarious and because I still can’t get over how much more fun it makes Star Wars! And, god, fireflyfish is great at cracky writing, there’s such charm and charisma to the way she writes it, how it’s parody that’s so easy to see, that it’s the kind that has grains of truth in there enough to easily let me see this in my mind’s eye, to go right along with the sparkling and hilarious details she works in. There were at least two times I laughed right out loud because the comedic timing was spot on, too. ✦ untitled by fireflyfish, obi-wan & anakin & ahsoka & cast, 1.1k    “Club? What club?” Obi-Wan asked, confused. “Anakin? Has someone angered you?” “Yes!” Anakin said, pounding his left fist on the table, since he had broken another dining table with his right hand the last time he threw a fit in the dining hall. “How dare you have a special Obi-Wan club and not tell me!”    This is another ficlet that would help to be familiar with the running gags about Obi-Wan’s Type (aka, beautiful shouty blondes who eat their food angrily at his stupid handsome face and also have a vulnerability that he wants to protect) that became a joke about a bunch of people wanting to join said club over Ewan McGregor being ridiculously delightful and handdsome. And then Fishy wrote this amazingly hilarious bit of crack that’s still just so easy to picture and is so much sheer joyful fun and so hilarious that I was in love with everything all over again! It’s Anakin being angry that he wasn’t invited to the Obi-Wan Fan Club, Ahsoka finding all of this hilarious, Rex just wanting to leave, and Obi-Wan just letting it pass him by because he knows better than to try to mess with it, and it’s perfect. It’s the kind of group banter that’s friendly and delightful and so, so screamingly funny. God bless this fandom sometimes, honestly. ✦ Vision Void by aradian_nights, luke & ahsoka & ezra & kanan & cast, 23.9k    After a rather intense vision, Luke Organa sets out to save his former mentor, Ahsoka Tano.    Note: This is part five of a series that should probably be read in order by now. This fic is two things–it’s Luke’s dealing with the Force drawing him into events, interacting with the Ghost Crew and Ahsoka, as well as Ahsoka’s own visions after her fight with Vader on Malachor that goes a little differently from canon. Both aspects are really lovely, this is a fic series that’s beautifully written and feels so natural, that the echoes of canon and the new twists and wrinkles that happen because of the changed circumstances, are all woven together so well. It’s a fic that’s less self-contained, it’s a bit more of “a little bit of everything”, including some lovely Luke & Bail interaction, as Luke deals with the emotional (and physical) fallout of the previous fics, but that makes it all the more satisfying, it’s a fic that’s expanding the galaxy and the timeline and events. And, oh, Luke’s take on Vader feels right, that he’s so very much Luke about it, but also he’s still Bail Organa’s son, that Luke is only beginning to piece things together, so he only sees the worst of Vader so far, as that’s all that Vader has shown him. And the interaction with the Phoenix squad, as Luke gets them in contact with Ahsoka, the care with which those characters were written, was also lovely.    And, oh, the aftermath of Malachor for Ahsoka, her guilt and sorrow and rage and hope and this giant tangle of feelings she’s working through and putting to rights as best she can, letting go of what she needs to let go of, holding on what she needs to hold onto, there’s so much connection I felt to her story, so much raw pain and yet so much unrelenting care, so much Ahsoka. I love Luke and Ahsoka interaction in any vein, but this was particularly lovely and is building up the plot even more, so that you can feel the galaxy shifting, you can feel the looming events, and I am so, so engaged and ready for more. ✦ Fate Defied by aradian_nights, obi-wan & leia & ezra & cast, 16k    Leia Skywalker’s determined to become a Jedi like her father, but before that she must face the reality of letting go.    Note: This is part six of a series that should probably be read in order by now. This is the fic that brings the series up to Twin Suns and, oh, I love how it echoes canon, but it’s also different, because the circumstances are different for them and Leia is very much not Luke, her personality shapes her actions just as much as his shapes his own elsewhere. So, when Ezra and Maul show up on Tatooine, her reactions are very much different and, oh, she is so very much Leia, she is so much an amazing character and I’ve fallen in love with this version of her all over again, how natural it feels that she’s from Tatooine, but knows she’s meant for something bigger, how much fire and fight she has in her, but also how much utter care she has for other people. Her training and how hard she works every day for it, the way she listens to Obi-Wan but also fires back before she can help herself sometimes, how strong a personality she has, but also how she insightful and can admit when she’s wrong! All of it is balanced so well and really gives a beautiful, nuanced portrayal of her character.    And, of course, this is another fic where it very much feels like the galaxy and the Force are drawing things together, that it’s not quite there yet, but you can feel the looming events, that Leia and Obi-Wan won’t remain here forever. I do love that the relationship between Obi-Wan and Owen/Beru is kinder here, that Leia sought Obi-Wan out at a younger age, that she refused to not follow what she knew was right for her, that the love they all had for her made them get along more, even if they’ll never truly connect, it’s almost kinder and yet still feels entirely Star Wars. I loved Leia interacting with Ezra in this chapter as well, it was spot on, that glimpse of the Rebellion, the change to briefly talk to another Padawan, as well as Leia’s conversations with Qui-Gon in her dreams, the bits and pieces she unravels about Obi-Wan’s past, all of it is beautifully told, this is a fic that doesn’t just rely on canon’s events to fill in the details, it actually does the hard work of building things up bit by bit, and it’s so, so strong for it. ✦ Lessons to learn by DonkerRood, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, 2.3k    Obi-Wan teaches Anakin a lesson and finds out some important information too.    This is a pwp fic that’s a chance to embrace Anakin being an absolute bratafter being appointed to the High Council, so much so that Obi-Wan determines he’s in need of a good spanking, then getting tied up, and thoroughly fucked. It’s one of those fics that hits my id dead on for this kind of thing, I love giving Anakin the space to be childish and lash out, to have Obi-Wan there to rein him back in when needed, that none of this is about making Anakin feel bad or upsetting him further. Instead, it’s almost kind of really soft and a bit sweet, as Obi-Wan is a warm but unmovable dom to him, which is exactly what Anakin wants and needs, that he’ll get a lovely fucking to get the rest of that noise out of his head, and I enjoyed it for just whole-heartedly embracing that trope, god bless. ✦ Against The Wall by Icse, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, d/s elements, somewhat darker themes, ~1k    'Anakin grunted as he was forced against the wall, the hand in his hair pressing his face into the rough stone.’    This is one of those fics that hits directly on my id, that Anakin wants to be shoved up against a wall and fucked roughly, that it plays on his issues, and that it’s not necessarily healthy, it’s not meant to be, but it still satisfies something in him. It’s entirely pwp, but it’s about wholly embracing the kink it’s enjoying and I really love when fic does that–and hits my own kinks along the way, making this a lovely, satisfying read for me!

[erindarroch]

I may have asked you about this before, but now I can't stop thinking about that wedding dress pic, so... What's your Han & Leia wedding headcanon?

@jhgraham and I have discussed this at length and we have some basic ideas about how we see that happening, but there are lots of details we haven’t even considered yet. We have a draft doc containing bits and pieces of our thoughts on this, but we’re a long way from writing it up. Having said that, that lovely dress has sparked our imaginations!

Some broad ideas we firmly agree on:

* They wouldn’t marry immediately after the Battle of Endor. We don’t buy the “accidental pregnancy” shite that Disney wants us to buy, either. Not for Leia Organa. No chance! So we don’t think a wedding happens due to pressures of impending parenthood; we also don’t think it would be the first thing on their agenda in the aftermath of victory, when there’s still so much work to do to secure real peace.

*Otoh, we really don’t buy the old EU version of events, either. We think it’s ridiculous to suggest they’d wait that long. And no way would Leia give any serious consideration to any other offers of marriage, from princes or anyone else. She is, in fact, already “married” in her heart to Han, and always will be, and likewise he to her. Cheesy as that sounds, that’s our headcanon and we’re sticking to it! =P  The actual formal, public wedding ceremony (which in our minds, is a mere formality) probably happens around a year (give or take a few months) after Endor.

* Over the years of their acquaintance, they probably chatted casually about marriage in a very general way (perhaps whenever some Rebels on base got married or there was something in the galactic news that sparked discussion), so each has some idea of the other’s views on the subject long before it becomes a possibility for them.

* We think the topic probably also came up on the long trip to Bespin, not because it was even a remote possibility for them at that time, but just in the “what do you think about X” type conversations that come up at the start of any new romantic/sexual relationship phase, when you’re getting to know one another better and exchanging views.

* In the aftermath of the Battle of Endor, after the dust settles re: the Vader news and it becomes clear that Han is firmly attached and going nowhere without Leia, then the subject becomes much more relevant and weighty for them. With so many Rebels getting married and settling down after the war, it’s a topic that’s bound to come up with increasing frequency. Maybe they do talk about it somewhat obliquely at that point...but they’re in no particular hurry to join in the wedding frenzy. They’re sure of each other now. They can wait until the time is right to make a public declaration.

*  Han has been thinking about it for waaaay longer than Leia has... and has quietly nursed hopes in that direction for much longer than he will ever admit. He has also acquired a little something that will facilitate his proposal when he makes it. More on that in the fic itself, if we ever write it!

* It’s a family affair. When the time comes for them all to get some well-deserved post-war R&R, nobody really has a home to go to; Alderaan is gone, of course; Luke is in no hurry to go back to Tatooine, and Han doesn’t exactly have fond memories of growing up on Corellia.... so they all travel with Chewie to Kashyyyk instead, where Malla and the rest of the clan give them a warm welcome. It is there that Han plans to make a formal proposal and, if Leia’s up for it, to have a wedding as well. Just the fam. ;)

* Han knows what Leia’s answer will be, so he’s not nervous about that, but he really wants to make it special. He plans in secret, with Luke and Chewie colluding a bit. Leia is very happy when all is revealed.

* Later, they will have a much grander public ceremony, in keeping with Leia’s status. Han’s okay with that; the important thing is that Leia wants him as much as he wants her, and she has agreed to spend the rest of her life with him. WIN! If he has to get a haircut and wear his dress blues, shake hands and make nice with several hundred strangers and the galactic press for a day, so be it.

There’s probably a lot more I could say but this is already so long. It’s just a sketch, too! No wonder our chapters are 10k words long. Sheesh.  

Thank you for asking! :)