#how many characters in one long scene i was going nuts

[bengiyo]

An Apology to The Miracle of Teddy Bear

I finally caught up with a show that was inaccessible for a long time, and also bogged down in bad-faith fan reporting, at the insistence of @lurkingshan, @twig-tea, and later @wen-kexing-apologist. A few months ago, Shan and Twig wrote about how The Miracle of Teddy Bear Saved the Gays to push back on the false narrative that the show buried the gays and forced the lead to marry a woman, and also about how it contains incisive social commentary about a Thai gay man. I won't reiterate what they said in their excellent essay, but I do want to pick up from my Apology to Ossan's Love and The Novelist to talk about going back for shows you missed.

When this show first began airing in the spring of 2022, it was completely inaccessible in the West. I remember seeing rumors at the time that the show was withheld from international distribution due to its critical themes about Thai society, and I was curious about how a show about how a guy falls in love with his teddy bear that comes to life could be causing such consternation. After the show ended, I also remember seeing discontented commentary about the end of the show's ending that turned out to be patently false.

Now that I've actually seen the show, I want to briefly gush about the things I loved in this show.

Job Thuchapon Imbues Nut With A Complex Humanity Rarely Afforded Gay Characters in the BL Sphere

As I was finishing the show last night, I commented to my friends that Job might be one of the most beautiful people I've encountered in Thai queer media, and I think it's because his performance as Nut feels recognizably human. I'm convinced it's because this was a drama with humanist goals that was able to avoid prioritizing romance as its key outcome. As such, Nut becomes one of the best expressions of the traumatized artist trying to do something with his pain in his art that I've ever been blessed to see.

Nut is dealing with intense family trauma from his father's homophobia, his mother's silence and impotence on the matter, and the social circumstances around his life. He's a man with deep anger at his mom and father, who is also tasked with being the breadwinner for his household because his mom is mentally ill. Moreover, his hateful aunt lives next door to only make their lives worse. Nut is an extremely lonely but talented writer who wants to make something more than a standard BL prioritizing romance, cuteness, and product placement.

Most importantly for me, Nut is so unabashedly gay in a way that I also found extremely believable. He's the kind of gay that's not exactly hiding who he is, but isn't going to go out of his way to blast it to everyone. He's not afraid to hold a man's hand in public, but he's also just going to ignore the female coworker who can't take a hint. On top of that, the gays have sex in this show! The show uses so many useful tools to show us that Nut and Tofu have sex without needing to do a lot of bed scenes. I deeply appreciated this.

Inn Sarin Makes The Teddy Bear Role Into a Meaningful Exploration of the Nature of Humanity and Kindness

I originally worried that Inn was here just to be beautiful (he is), and that his character would just be a joke (it most certainly wasn't). Instead, what I got was a character whose innocence allowed us as viewers to explore some heavy moral dilemmas that a simple view of human nature could not accommodate. By the end of the show I was screaming into the chat that "He's only a bear!" because none of the problems he faced were simple.

Tofu, through his interactions with the other inanimate objects in the house experiences incredibly growth over the show, and learns that loving a human as a human is far more complicated than loving them as a teddy bear. He's faced with difficult challenges around Nut's mom's health issues, Nut's family troubles, and even his own jealousy of Nut's childhood love. Inn's affect as Tofu matures as Tofu becomes more familiar with human nuance, which is contrasted so well by the flashbacks with his dead human doppelganger.

This Show Completed Every Thread it Established

This may not seem like an important thing to highlight, but it's so rare for shows to actually do this, especially when they're this complex. I have massive respect for screenwriter Prapt and the team around him, because it's so rare that I enjoy a final episode of a Thai drama. I was openly weeping at the resolution of a thread I thought was forgotten in the finale.

This show had much to say about speaking truth to power, and how the powerful wield death as a weapon. It had much to say about how internalized homophobia expresses in gay men in different ways. It took its mental health themes seriously. It also humanized its villains in a way that makes them some of cruelest I've seen on screen in a long time. It also shows how important community support systems are, especially the role elder gays play in your life. Most importantly, I loved that this show didn't insist that everyone has to hang out and be friendly with everyone who ever hurt them, even if it values getting closure from much-needed apologies.

Conclusion: This Show Has Everything

This show really is something special, and I recommend going on YouTube and watching it. It's a long watch, but it's one of the most rewarding viewing experiences I've had from Thailand in the last decade. I'm also convinced that I have to take learning Thai more seriously, because if Prapt's writing is this tight, I have serious doubts about what we got from The Eclipse. Any Thai people following me, please let me know if you get around to reading the book The Eclipse is based on so you can talk to me about what you experienced from Prapt's pen directly.

[arliedraws]

In the books, Sirius's devotion to Harry is of course very deep, but it never translates to something physical. He only shakes Harry's end when he leaves his bedside in book 4, and in book 5 there is something resembling a hug, like twice...? As a dog he stood up his hind legs and front paws on harry's shoulders and a half hug after Christmas. Idk it sort of drives me crazy, because in the movies Harry and Sirius are so affectionate! That first hug when Harry arrives in Grimmauld!! Gary and Dan had an amazing chemistry that other actors were jealous of, they mirrored the book characters, so it palpable on screen, the few scenes Gary is in at all at least.

So, what do you make of this? Do you in musing for art imagine a more affectionate relationship between Harry and Sirius? Maybe if Sirius survived the war? Molly's hug in book 4 was a poignant moment but imo that should have been a moment between Sirius and Harry. Sirius already says he expected something catastrophic to happen to Harry in the third task, that's what he stutters when Harry comes in with Dumblebore. So he is literally afraid of his godsons life and it still shows of course, Sirius staying at Harry's side was very beautifully written, like the devotion is clear, but I am foaming at the mouth for more affection between them in canon? Platonic, not shipping. So between the movies and the books Im just kinda torn what's better

It's more a rant than an ask, sorry lol, but if you have any input I'd he so stoked to read it. Not many peeps in the fandom even give Sirius and Harry any time of day, nvrmind even understand what they had (which also drives me kinda nuts but ok)

Ohhhh, anon, you’ve come to the right spot! Mostly because I love them. I would say that 80% of my fandom interest is just Sirius being a dad to Harry.

To your question, I don’t think one is better than the other. Each has their purpose. Let me share my thoughts:

1. I am soft for movie Sirius and Harry’s affectionate touching. However. The dynamics of their relationship were NOT mirrored from the books, which…is fine. Honestly, I just don’t think it was a priority for the filmmakers. This particular bit doesn’t bother me because the movies are not supposed to replace the source material—they are an interpretation. To me, watching the movies is like reading fic—fun to watch but not canon. Also, the filmmakers removed so much of their relationship in GoF that they HAD to make Sirius and Harry physically affectionate in order for movie audiences to see what losing Sirius would mean to Harry. Their complexity is completely unexplored in the films, and they had to do SOMETHING to get the audience to feel sad when Sirius died. This started in PoA when they really downplayed the context of their relationship. (Lol, see my rant on PoA. I really don’t like that movie hahahahaha.)

2. In the books, Harry and Sirius are not physically affectionate with each other despite their intense love for each other, and I think this is an effective way to show characterization. As I tell my students, this might have been intentional by the author, but it could have been an instinct that she followed (what feels right for the characters).

Here’s what I think: both are so terrified of losing the other that they won’t allow themselves to get too close, and, crucially, they both fear showing vulnerability. Touching someone and reaching out for a hug or comfort is an extremely vulnerable thing to do. If you reach out for a hug, you are showing your true feelings. To be rejected physically is sometimes more devastating than someone telling you to just “go away.” It’s a sign of trust to touch someone—you are trusting that they feel the same way about you, and you are trusting that they won’t pull away. Both Sirius and Harry understand rejection, and both avoid it. How do you avoid rejection? You distance yourself.

I’ll put the rest under a cut because I think this might get long…

Sirius and Harry, for all that they love each other, fall out of trusting each other by OotP. Part of this is trauma, but it is also miscommunication. Harry is worried that Sirius will do something stupid—either out of concern for Harry or because he wants to get out of number 12–but he’s worried he’ll lose Sirius. So by withholding affection (which I’m not sure if he knows how to give physically), Harry distances himself from Sirius which will, theoretically, keep Sirius safe (of course, it backfires). Sirius is…you know…going through stuff in OotP. He is already vulnerable—he perceives himself as being emasculated because he’s not allowed to leave his childhood home and he’s relegated to performing ‘uninteresting, domestic work’, and he must be inactive when he’s a man OF action.

When it comes to Goblet of Fire and the odd handshake… I think Sirius is reeeeeally holding back. Harry does NOT want him to go, and Sirius knows this. (Why DOES Dumbledore send him away? Literally anyone else could have “alerted the old crowd” and NOT the convicted murderer. This is clearly the author’s excuse to get Sirius away from Harry—and, I’ve spoken to this before, Sirius is too much of a miracle character—too smart, too loyal, too loving to support the story that the author wanted to tell.) Sirius, if he had stayed, would have been the emotional support that Harry needed. So if Sirius holds Harry, what if Harry doesn’t let go? What if Sirius himself can’t let go? A handshake will have to do.

So Sirius leaves Harry with that bizarre handshake. That Sirius leaves at all damages their relationship—it could have been repaired with time (if they’d been allowed time), but this moment makes Harry realize that he cannot rely on anyone, not even Sirius. This leaves Harry to be isolated in OotP, and it leaves him to feel like he cannot trust anyone. I’m not blaming Sirius for leaving, but I believe this action causes a rift between them that carries into the next book.

My point is, I HATE that they don’t touch but it is very important that they don’t, at least when it comes to the story that the author wanted to tell. I think it was the right move when we look at the story as a whole. Do I like it? NO! But it’s interesting, and it DOES feel right for them. Is it devastating? Yes!!!!!!!

TL;DR: I don’t think either interpretation is necessarily better than the other, but they both have their purpose. Both are effective!

Touch is…huge in HP. Consider Voldemort’s “I can touch him now” and causing Harry pain. Touch is a privilege, and to be touched without permission is a violation. Harry kills someone by touching them. He is only touched by his family when Dudley beats him up or he gets shoved in his cupboard.

Weirdly, one of my absolutely favorite moments when Sirius and Harry touch is in PoA when the Dementors are closing in on Sirius, Harry, and Hermione, and Harry, as he’s about to faint, reaches out to grab an unconscious Sirius by the arm, thinking something along the lines of “the dementors weren’t going to take him” and such. And this is about two seconds after Harry has accepted that Sirius is telling the truth! Harry physically tethers Sirius to him—this touch-starved teen reaches out to this man who is now everything to him, who is now his only real family, willing to risk death (or worse) to keep it. BUT THEY JUST MET!!!!! Devastating!!!

Also…another thought: the first time Sirius and Harry touch is the first time Sirius has been touched as a human in twelve years. And Harry is beating the absolute shit out of him…and then Sirius nearly strangles him…

Also, also, not to like…self-promote, but if you want some Sirius & Harry family feelings and a wee bit of affectionate touching, I wrote a one-shot where they talk about their feelings in OotP.

Anyway, this got longer than I thought. Thank you for the prompt!!

[adoribullpavus]

EXCITING NEWS GUYS

i have started development on my first ever renpy game. i'm so excited since this is something i've wanted to do for a while now, but renpy always kinda scared me. but i've finally put it into action and i'm really looking forward to the journey ahead.

the game is still in extremely early development, but i have planned an outline of the plot, written some scripts, and have come up with so many ideas i want to share with you all.

as you can see, it is a dai fan game. if anyone knows if i can get sued for this, please let me know lmao

i don't want to give too much away but here are some features i'm planning to include:

you can choose from 17 different characters to play as (12 will be available straight off the bat, and 5 will be secret routes that are unlocked via other routes). these are all characters from inquisition.

you get to decide who your character ends up with, or even stay single if you want to be.

you can end up in a polyamorous relationship with (almost) free reign as to which characters that relationship includes.

no two routes are the same. each route will have the same plot but you can make it your own through your choices. remember; just because picking option b worked for your dorian playthrough, doesn't mean it'll work when you're playing as cullen.

there are a LOT of choices that genuinely impact the direction of the story.

each character has a bunch of different endings and they're all carefully tailored to your decisions.

as the game is still in early development, with only a faint outline holding it together, plans can change. however, as far as i know, this is how many endings each character can have:

the dorian route has 8 endings and 7 secret endings.

the iron bull route has 11 endings and 6 secret endings.

the varric route has 10 endings and 6 secret endings.

the cullen route has 10 endings and 5 secret endings.

the sera route has 6 endings and 5 secret endings.

the leliana route has 11 endings and 7 secret endings.

the cole route as 3 endings and 4 secret endings.

the josephine route has 11 endings and 5 secret endings.

the blackwall route has 10 endings and 3 secret endings.

the cassandra route has 9 endings and 6 secret endings.

the solas route has 10 endings and 3 secret endings.

the vivienne route has 3 endings and no secret endings.

i have tried to provide as much freedom as possible when it comes to pairings, but there are a few exceptions:

dorian and sera are still gay/lesbian and can only be romanced by characters of the same gender - so naturally they will have less endings as their options are restricted.

cole doesn't have a lot of romantic endings as there were only one or two characters i felt comfortable writing him with (so far only dorian has a cole romance ending, and cole has three secret romantic endings). this could change in the future but definitely not for characters such as varric and solas who cole shares a very parental relationship with., or for vivienne due to the power difference between them that would make me extremely uncomfortable to write.

vivienne also doesn't have a lot of romantic endings but that's more to do with the fact i struggle to write her in romantic scenes. again, this could change.

the rest are all free to romance whoever they want. cullen can romance a man (or two or three). cassandra can romance a woman (or two or three). basically there's no such thing as straight in this game. go nuts.

i will keep you all updated as i progress. the game will take a long while to create and i would appreciate any advice/help/suggestions etc to make it enjoyable for everyone. i would also appreciate the support from you guys as i dive into my first game making experience.

but just remember i am a single 20 year old girl who's doing this in her free time. i don't have a huge team behind me so the game is going to take a lot of time and effort to become something playable.

follow the tag ' #the dai kissing game ' if you want to keep updated on the game's progress.

thank you guys!!

[thatseventiesbitch]

That ‘90s Show Part 3 - My Thoughts

Real life was real life’in this week 😅, so I’m just now able to share my thoughts re: the newest That ‘90s Show episodes.

Overall, another wonderful installment! The actors have definitely settled into their characters, and I’m invested in their storylines and relationships (beyond just Eric, Donna, and Leia). Reception to part 3 so far seems very positive. I’m going to remain hopeful it will get another season!

More thoughts beneath the cut:

It’s sort of stream of consciousness rambling, lol.

-Leia, my love. The wrestling storyline in episode 1 was funny. I loved seeing Leia’s persuasive, edgy side come out when she secured the autograph, much like back in the pilot when she got the tap from Mama. She’s really come into her own as a character this season.

-So much appreciation for the Doug Funnie and Porkchop cameos! 😆 As a child of the ‘90s, Doug was one of my favorite cartoons! And Red and Kitty’s Beanie Babies plot was… strange, lol, but funny. And it was nice to see them in cahoots. I knew Beanie Babies were going to make an appearance at some point, because they’re such a quintessentially ’90s thing. Remember how they gave away mini ones at McDonald’s for a while, and people went nuts? It was a strange time.

-Okay, the scene at the kitchen table with Red, Kitty, Leia and Donna after she broke the shower head genuinely had me cackling. And Donna gets another gold star mom award for the way she talked to Leia about it afterwards. I love how good of a mom she is. Hits me right in my feels. 🥹

-Jay and Leia… okay, probably an unpopular opinion but I just feel so lukewarm about them! 🤷🏼‍♀️ I don’t dislike them, I don’t ship them, they’re fine, I just don’t feel emotionally connected to them. Their first time didn’t elicit any big feelings or emotions from me. Their cliffhanger at the end - meh, I don’t really care if they stay together or break up. I remain more interested in seeing Leia explore other relationships - with Gwen or Nate, for instance - but she didn’t have many storylines apart from those with Jay or her family this time. Maybe it was foreshadowing to have Leia admit she expects to have a life long love like her parents do, and her friends reminding her that’s not realistic at all…

-Betsy! She reminds me of Brooke a bit and also Laurie, but mostly feels like her own character. Her relationship with Nate also reminds me of Kelso/Brooke’s relationship and Kelso/Laurie’s, in turns. She is much smarter than him but seems bemused and oddly charmed by the simple Nate, ala Brooke. And she’s manipulative, dominant, and sex-positive, ala Laurie. The scene where Nate tried to break up with her and she said no (😂) literally mirrors the Kelso and Laurie one from T70S. I definitely believed her as a Kelso, but you can tell she has intelligence her brother does not (thanks, Brooke) and seems serious about college/school in addition to having sex. A good mix of her parents, overall, and I enjoyed seeing her interactions with Jay and all the Kelso family lore we learned about this season!

-Kelso family lore: Jay and Betsy’s quibble - “Dad stayed with MY mom!” shows some underlying resentment/competition between the siblings, and also reveals that Kelso and Jackie took a 3 year break at some point (which we already kind of knew, due to their multiple remarriages) during which Kelso went back to Brooke (unclear)? Jay’s line about the time the entire Kelso family went to therapy for 20 minutes and the therapist told them they’re all afraid to love themselves was interesting, too.

-Okay, it was actually very sweet how Kitty found Isaac for Ozzie. I’ve enjoyed his arc this season: his heartbreak over Etienne, finding a queer community, his horror over being the last virgin *lol*, and now his blossoming relationship with Isaac. He seems more confident about himself and his sexuality than ever before. And his dry sense of humor always makes me laugh.

-We got to meet Gwen’s dad! I enjoyed him, his backstory, and his interactions with both Sherri and Gwen. Hoping we might see him again. Also, this shuts down the ‘Hyde is Gwen’s dad’ theories for good.

-The Jay and (Not So) Silent Bob schtick is so-so to me, but I did laugh at how they were following ‘their kids’ Ozzie and Isaac at the movies 😂.

-We got some good Eric nuggets! Starting with Eric and Donna being the same height in their wedding pictures - which I would cut my pinky finger off to see, btw. He lands his dream job working with George Lucas on Skywalker Ranch (I looked it up, and yes it’s a real place) and writing a book about the new Star Wars movies. Gets him out of the picture more permanently, but still leaves the door open for him to visit/return for a holiday episode or something. Loved Donna’s conversation with him on the phone, and imagining her helping him get settled out in California and visiting. And then Kitty’s comment about Donna drooling on his chest when they sleep - 🥹. My favorite detail yet.

-(Did anybody else think of the scene in T70S where Eric and Donna were discussing going to premarital counseling and Donna said they’d learn things about each other, like for instance what if one day she gets a high paying job in California - will he move? And then Eric is like ‘Whoa, why can’t I be the one to get the high paying job?’)

-Oh my god, I loved the ending sequence of them all in the car, dressed like the T70S characters and imitating the opening credits. Loved, loved, LOVED. When Leia put her hands on the dashboard like Donna, I think my shipper heart exploded. 🥰

-Donna and Bob’s moment on the car was very sweet (as was Bob reminiscing over Midge - this feels like confirmation that she’s passed away in-universe). I also thought it was poignant how Donna realizes (and values) both Eric and Leia’s happiness and doesn’t want to take that away, yet feels lost herself and is thus having difficulty making this decision. And then ultimately, she decides to just go back and forth between her two favorite people. 🥰

-The Clueless fantasy!!!!! Yes. So much yes. (I really enjoyed all of the ‘90s references this season)

-Wow. Sherri really is a Laurie clone (*cough* replacement *cough*). The fact that she’s done it with everyone - including the judge at Kitty’s court hearing. She’s earnest and often well meaning, but trips over her words and her relationships. Red and Kitty have so much to teach her. It’s a very parental relationship. Really makes you think about what could have been…

-This season made me such a NikNate shipper. I was kind of starting to come around to them after part 2, but their arc at the end where Nate believes in her musical talent and sells his van to buy back her guitar really got me. Nate is really winning me over, in general. #OTP: You’ll Always Be My Baby

-Ooh, that cliffhanger! Will Donna let Leia stay in Point Place now? Will she have to go to Our Lady Of Perpetual Sorrow? Will Leia forgive Jay for stealing her grandma’s keys? Stay tuned to find out! 😁

[youthereader]

Near Zero part 2.

PAIRING: cillian murphy as j. robert oppenheimer x fem!reader

SUMMARY: 2.1 words. Brought on as part of the Manhattan Project, your old physics professor sees you in a new light.

RATING: eventually E (no smut in this part); age gap (10+ years), infidelity, period-typical sexism

A/N: Though based on real life characters, this is J. Robert Oppenheimer as played by Cillian Murphy, a fictional character. This is not intended to be historically accurate, merely written as entertainment. Many thanks to @indulgence-be-thy-name for helping me figure out how to bridge scenes and for being my soundboard. Thanks for the love for the first part, and I hope you like this one, too! 🖤

masterlist.

A week goes by, and you rarely see one another.

You search for him sometimes on your walks home, but never see him. One evening, when you’re swinging your pocketbook with a cigarette in your other hand, practically dragging your feet from exhaustion, one of your next-door neighbors comes out their front door, beaming at you.

You’ve managed to avoid them until now. She may have been waiting for you by the timing of it all, calling out:

“We always seem to miss each other!”

You pause, smiling automatically, watching her march over to you. You admire the effort she’s put into her appearance; her blonde hair is perfectly coiffed, her nails are long and glossy to match her lipstick. Your attire feels dishevelled by comparison, and you haven’t seen your reflection in a few hours. Undoubtedly, you don’t look as put together as you did when you left that morning.

Her scent hits you – rosewater and gin – and you awkwardly rearrange your things to quickly shake her hand, inhaling the last of your cigarette.

“I’m sorry I haven’t made the effort already to say hello.”

You’re not being entirely honest. You could have gone months without ever having met her. She gives a dismissive wave.

“You’re obviously extremely busy. Do you work with Dr. Oppenheimer?”

You nod, feeling your smile begin to slacken. You wish someone would ask about you, not one of the men you work with.

“Yes, I’m part of the theoretical physics branch.”

“That must be very interesting.”

She says it in such a way that gives you pause. She glances behind her and calls out:

“Barb! Come meet our lovely neighbor!”

She turns back to you again, murmuring:

“I’m Mary, by the way.”

You offer your name, and she gives another smile, as you wait for Barb to appear. She’s taller, with auburn hair, but a similar breed of woman to Mary. Sophisticated and not at all like you. You feel self-conscious, clearing your throat.

“She works with Oppie,” Mary says to Barb, and the women exchange a glance.

Barb smiles like a cat. “Do tell.”

“I haven’t seen him lately,” you admit. “We’re not in close proximity most of the time.”

“Shame,” Barb says. She surveys you. “He can be very… friendly. At least, it’s what I heard.”

Mary gives her a little smack on the arm and they both smirk. They seem to wait for you to add something, but you don’t indulge them, glancing down at your burnt-out cigarette butt, considering another.

“Where do you work?” you ask, and Mary sighs a little.

“Oh, we’re both secretaries,” she says. “Nothing as complicated as what you do, I’m sure.”

“We all need typists,” you offer, thinking of a recent incident in the laboratory.

One of the men attempted to hand you their notes, asking you type them up. He considered it women’s work, but all you did was stare him down, cigarette dangling from your lips. After a long minute, several others began to laugh and he folded, stalking off to find a typewriter to do it himself. You returned to your paper and were left in peace for the rest of the day. He hadn’t spoken to you since. He hadn’t even glanced in your direction.

“Say, you ought to come to the mixer we’re having this Friday. I mean, for God’s sake, we’re going nuts in here,” Mary says, leaning over, dropping her voice. “We need something to do around here.”

“She’s probably too busy,” Barb drawls, and you look at her, blinking.

“No, I’m… I’d love to,” you lie.

You like to put your feet up on Fridays with a drink and a big book. You’re lucky if you leave your place at all when you have time to yourself. But the more you think about it, the more likely you are to see Oppenheimer again if you tag along.

“I’ll see you two there. When is it?”

-

There is instant regret the second you walk into the hall teeming with drunken, loud people. It’s like all the faculty parties you skipped when you were at college. The music and voices overlap, smoke hangs in the air, and crowds of strangers squeeze past you to get in and out the door.

You walk inside with your breath held, hating that you came alone. Some people glance your way, but none are familiar faces. You keep moving regardless, until you spot Barb and Mary by the wall with a group of several couples, all holding their own drinks.

“You actually came,” Barb says, and Mary’s eyes widen, impressed.

“Anyone need a top-up?” you offer, but no-one takes you up on it.

You don’t want there to be a whole production when it comes to introducing yourself. You hope the girls give a short explanation when you walk away, heading towards the bar at the very back of the hall. You have to weave through more groups, and finally more recognisable people appear.

“Holy shit,” Feynman says, and you stop, feeling your face flush at the sudden attention. “Since when do you leave the labs for some fun?”

“Give it a rest, Richard,” a man says nearby, one of the human computers.

“I think we should document it,” Feynman goes on, and you try to smile in good humor. “The first instance of fun for the woman!”

“Not quite,” you retort. “I’m parched. Excuse me.”

You just want to work. You just want to be alone, so you don’t have to feel like you’re under scrutiny. You just want to do something meaningful, and it feels like that can only happen at Los Alamos. You feel silly, reminded of high school when your teacher on the last day of your senior year told you to ‘lighten up’. The man had no idea the damage he’d done with that advice, how small and silly he’d made you feel.

You reach the bar and order a daiquiri. You may have a few before facing anyone else, you haven’t decided yet. When you’re handed the drink, a low, smooth voice to your right makes you freeze:

“You do know we have things other than rum to drink here?”

You twist around, drink aloft, and see Oppenheimer beside you, your stomach giving a little flip at the sight of him. You missed him. God, you really, really missed him.

“It’s out of habit,” you reply, taking a sip for courage. “Is the government sending all their scotch our way?”

He gives a smile, and you return it. “I could have that arranged if that isn’t the case already.”

There’s a raucous call of ‘Oppie!’ and one of the experimental physicists slaps him on the shoulder. You’re forgotten, turning back to the bar as the men chat, the stranger more than Oppenheimer.

“Where the hell have you been?”

“Classified, Lewis. You know that” Oppenheimer replies. “How’s the wife?”

He slips into another character, someone friendlier but in a superficial way. He becomes Oppie the leader, and yet it doesn’t seem to come naturally to him. He doesn’t light up all the way, and his smile doesn’t reach his piercing eyes.

You don’t expect him to pay any more attention to you, so you take a few steady gulps as you eavesdrop and then tune everything out…

And then it’s as if you’ve left the hall, when you feel a hand brush yours, fingertips meeting your own as Oppenheimer listens, his colleague talking his ear off. The vacuum you suddenly occupy makes your skin tingle, because it’s unmistakable – he’s stroking your fingers teasingly out of sight of everyone around you.

The moment stretches on and on, and you could live there, with all that potential. All that secrecy. He slips away, stepping aside to shake his colleague’s hand. He turns back to you when he’s gone once more.

“I should try one of those,” he says, nodding to your drink.

Your heart races when your eyes meet again. The warmth there, the intensity of it, turns your insides molten. What you suspected was an attraction is full-blown desire, and you can only stare back at him, hoping – hoping for what?

“Do you have a cigarette?” he asks, when you say nothing, and you nod.

You drain your glass, placing it on the bar, then take out your pack of cigarettes from your pocketbook. He takes them, putting one to his lips, and you step forward to light it for him. Perhaps you can have these little moments, and that will be all. And that will have to be enough.

“Thank you, darling,” he whispers, and you blush. “Can I walk you home, after?”

You nod, desperately wanting more. More pet names, more touches, more stares. Instead, you’re interrupted by Feynman.

“I’m sorry,” he says to you, while gripping Oppenheimer’s arm. “Lemme make it up to you. Let’s have a dance.”

“Oh, I don’t—”

“Come on, we’re all dancing,” he cuts in. “You don’t have to be good.”

You see Oppenheimer is occupied with his own thoughts, smoking in silence. As mortifying as it is to dance, Feynman has a point. No-one at Los Alamos is here because they’re good at dancing.

You try to remember the last time you danced, as you’re dragged along by hand. It must have been before the war when your friends bullied you into a group date.

You endure it, not minding the music. It’s fast and a little chaotic but everyone is laughing, and you find yourself smiling, if a little awkward on your feet. Feynman is a good sport and bows extravagantly when it’s over.

“I forgive you,” you say, chuckling.

He dips to kiss your knuckles and you swat him playfully.

-

You feel drunk, and it’s because of Dr. Oppenheimer. That’s what you tell yourself when you manage to mingle with everyone for the rest of the night without wanting to run away. It’s a miracle.

Feynman was right – you having fun is a first. Not that you tell him that, but you still talk a lot, and laugh genuinely. You haven’t given anyone a proper chance, and it’s kind of a relief, having this turn out better than expected when you first walked in.

Oppenheimer is missing at the end when everyone starts peeling off in groups for home. It’s after midnight, and you search for him, trying not to seem eager. No-one needs to know that you’re looking for him, or if he’s waiting for you.

Barb and Mary beckon you, holding their coats and bags as you dawdle. You give a short sigh to yourself and follow them out, wondering how you missed Oppenheimer again. You hope he’s waiting outside somewhere, but there are only other tipsy patrons, bidding one another farewell.

The three of you walk the short distance back to your street, and you keep your eyes peeled for any sign of the director, heart hammering when you think of his fingers touching you before.

Darling. The word curls in your stomach and makes you daydream, your attentiveness to your neighbors coming and going as they chat next to you. You make it to your corner before your disappointment sinks in and you’re alone again at your front door, Mary and Barb disappearing into their place.

-

All the good feelings from the mixer don’t remain. The laboratory is a much harsher world when you expected the opposite. Egos clash, men storm out when arguments arise, and you receive a letter from your parents citing their concern for you, since you’re unable to tell them anything about your position at Los Alamos.

You crave the attention you had, though fleeting, from Oppenheimer. He’s nowhere to be found for a few days. What was once a usual thing has become intolerable, you have no idea how long it will be until you see him again.

He walks into the laboratory one afternoon when you’re midway through your sandwich, deciding to not leave for lunch as some of the others have. He moves right past you, and for a moment it’s as if you’ve imagined him or wished him into view. He greets Bethe and Teller but doesn’t look at you.

You stand, sandwich forgotten, wiping your face of any stray crumbs. You wait, but he still doesn’t give you an acknowledgement. That’s fine. You’re used to waiting. You’re used to being in the background, ignored for the most part.

And then he leaves, after less than five minutes talking about the progress of the group. He walks right by you, and it’s as if you’re invisible. He can’t have missed you, and yet it’s as if you’re less than the dirt on his shoes, or the ash that falls from his cigarette as he moves past you.

You stare at the space he occupied once he’s gone, feeling hot with shame.

Oof, yes. That was a little cruel. I promise it picks up in the next part! Finally, there'll be some smut. 😈💕 Likes and replies are appreciated and reblogs make me swoon. Thanks for reading!

[starcrossedxwriter]

Bleeding Through Part 1 (MBJ x Famous Black OC)

Trigger Warnings: Angst, asshole Michael, some mentions for triggers for the OC but nothing graphic - just vague mentions (that will be important plot points in later fics!)

A/N: well… this is way longer than I intended or anticipated lol but here it is… Also if you love these two… don't be mad at me!! lol

“That looks delicious, Charlie. He’ll love it,” Michael’s mom commented as she watched Charlotte put the final touches on her husband’s favorite sweet treat, a chocolate cake. 

Her eyes did not leave her cake as she checked the icing meticulously for spots that did not look exactly. She knew her attention to details slightly obsessive. After all, Michael could care less about the look of desserts as long as the taste was just right. And if there was one thing Charlotte could do, it was bake. But still, she desired only perfection for her husband’s first day home from shooting. Her entire spirit beamed at the compliment from her mother-in-law, one of the few people in the world whose opinion mattered to her.

“You think so??” 

At Donna’s affirmative nod, the young woman let out a small squeal of excitement before laughing at her own antics. 

She moaned, “Ugh… Sorry… I know I’m acting like a complete nut. I just can’t wait for him to be home. This time felt way harder for some reason.”

“I know. It felt longer than three months.”

Charlotte shrugged. “He wasn’t able to call home as much, maybe? Usually we FaceTime every night when he gets home from set but I could barely get him on the phone once a week. And I’ll get to see him at some point but I haven’t seen him since Oscars weekend,” she mused before shrugging. “But I totally get it. Lupita mentioned that the filming and training schedules were just relentless so he probably just didn’t have much time.” 

Michael’s schedule for Marvel’s Black Panther had been crazier than most of his projects so Charlotte truly did understand. Most of the film was shot in Atlanta but the cast had flown to several other locations across the world while training to capture different scenes. And she knew that Michael’s character forced him to stay in hair and make-up longer, which meant earlier and later days on set than many of his counterparts. 

With all of that in mind and as an actress herself, she gave Michael as much grace and understanding throughout the process. He missed a call, no worries. Forgot to call her back, all good. However, that meant they had seen precious little of each other since he left in February. Three months later, she desperately missed everything about him. 

“That boy doesn’t know how to slow down either.” 

The pair shared a laugh. “Definitely doesn’t.” She checked her watch and phone, her face falling into a frown. 

“What’s wrong?” 

She shook her head, forcing her mouth back into a grin and her concern back to the depths of her mind. “N-Nothing, nothing. Just… well he usually texts me when he lands and is on his way but he should’ve landed like an hour ago? Hell, he should be walking through the door any minute.” 

“I’m sure he’s fine… you know he’s forgetful.” 

Michael could be forgetful, it was true. But generally not with things like this. He knew how much Charlotte worried so he never forgot to text her when he landed somewhere. It was usually the first thing he did even when they spent the whole flight texting back and forth. Which was also unusual. She had not received one text from him his entire flight. She shook her head as if she could shake the thoughts out of it. 

He’s fine… he’s fine, she thought to herself. She knew she was just trying to convince herself. To keep her concerns at bay as she worked to clean up their kitchen, she made a mental note to call him in ten minutes if she did not hear from him. However, that ten-minute mental alarm never needed to go off. 

“Speak of the devil,” she whispered to herself as she heard a key turn in the door. She wiped off her hands off and raced to the foyer of their home just as Michael crossed over the threshold. 

Damn he looks good, she thought to herself as she took in his Killmonger look. She loved him in any iteration. But she could not deny this one was… sexy as fuck. Her eyes almost did not know what to focus on and she was shocked at how, even with only three months on set, his body had changed so much from when he left. His muscles were massive before but now they threatened to break the limits of his hoodie, his beard had grown longer and a bit unruly, giving him a rugged look that made Charlotte go weak in the knees. And she could not deny that the dreads were growing on her. They were neatly braided back to keep them out of his face.  

“Hey handsome,” she offered with a bright smile. She immediately wrapped her arms around his shoulders. Her movements almost faltered as she felt his body tense up at her touch, however, he seemed to catch himself and force his body to relax. However, the hug and chaste kiss he placed on her lips were still brief. 

“Hey babe,” he offered before quickly breaking free and moving to bestow equally-brief hugs to his parents. 

Charlotte felt the balloon in her heart deflate slightly at his less-than-warm welcome. Perhaps she had simply built his return up in her mind but typically when he returned home, even from a weekend, he could not keep his hands off of her. And she would be lying if she claimed she did not enjoy it. And so, in this moment, it felt odd not to receive it, his immediate love and affections. 

However, she knew she would not solve any of these conundrums standing in their foyer so she fixed her face back into a smile and followed her husband deeper into the house. 

“How was the flight, babe?” 

“Fine.” 

“You hungry? I may or may not have a freshly made chocolate cake in the fridge for you. A lil welcome home surprise.” She hoped the promise of his favorite sweet treat would bring out some of the excitement to be home that she felt he was missing. 

“Nah I’m good. Just gonna go shower.” His eyes barely left his phone as he moved through their house, his answers short and clipped as to not invite additional conversation. 

And before Charlotte could even blink or think of a response, he disappeared before her eyes to their master suite upstairs. Charlotte glanced around, unsure of what to do with herself. This was certainly not how she expected his return home to go. She anxiously fiddled with her wedding band as her brain went down a million different rabbit holes at once. She questioned whether he was upset with her. But she had barely spoken to him in the last few weeks, hell the last few months if she were honest about it, so what could she have said or done? She glanced down at her clothes, which did have a light dusting of flour across them due to her mad furry of baking earlier in the day. Perhaps he expected her to look cuter or more put together for his return and he was disappointed? 

Whatever the reason, she knew something was off. This man who looked and spoke like her husband was not fully him. She stood at the foot of their staircase for a few moments as she tried to strategize what she should do next. Should she go and talk to him and gauge what was wrong? Or should she give him space? She was not used to not knowing what to do where Michael was concerned. Usually, they moved in perfect step and in sync. This was far from that. 

She did not noticed Michael’s mom studying her until she spoke up. 

“I’m sure he’s just tired, Charlie.” 

Her words knocked her out of her trance. 

“Y-yea, yea. Just tired,” her words trailed off as she nodded to herself. She repeated the words underneath her breath a few times as if to convince herself her mother-in-law was correct. 

Not everything is a reaction to you, Charlie, Charlotte reminded herself, a refrain her therapist had given her many years ago that she often had to repeat once she stepped her toe back into the dating pond. It was not that Charlotte was self-centered, she preferred when things were not about her. But she had to learn and unlearn a lot where relationships were concerned by the time her rugged path led her to Michael. One of those things being that not every negative emotion or reaction from her partner meant she had done something wrong or would lead to harm. It had been a tough one to unlearn but she was all the better and stronger for it. 

While Michael tended to be in good spirits most of the time, she knew he was not immune to a bad day like every human being and those bad days were not an indictment against her. He just came off shooting a character that was so unlike him, a grueling training and filming schedule, and a long flight. He earned some alone time and some space to decompress if he wanted, she decided quickly. 

“I’m gonna unpack his stuff. I was going to take him out to dinner but I think we’ll just order in so he can get some rest… cool with you two?” 

His mom shook her head. “We actually are going over to Jamila’s house for dinner. Figured you two would want the house to yourselves for a bit.” 

Charlotte’s heart warmed at their thoughtfulness. Before she and Bakari got married, she had always questioned whether living with her in-laws would be awkward or uncomfortable. However, they were both so attuned to giving she and Bakari their space as a married couple and never overstepped. Now, Charlotte would fight tooth and nail to keep them around.

“Love you SO much… Thanks!” She squeezed Donna’s hand before treading the same path up their stairs to their master. She made a mental note to stay positive and to focus on getting him whatever he needed so that once he got some rest, they would get back on track later that evening. 

However, that proved to be wishful thinking. Charlotte felt like she was a ghost in her own home, barely corporeal and visible to his eye. And when he did speak, part of her wished he hadn’t. There was a sharp edge to his words now, even his clipped responses carried annoyance like he wished he did not have to talk to her. 

By the time she was ready to retreat to bed, Charlotte was almost excited for the forced silence of sleep. She was slightly disheartened though as her thoughts drifted to the lace lingerie hanging in her closet that she bought particularly for this moment that would go unused. It was black with gold detailing to match his former character’s Golden Jaguar suit, a detail she had gotten from a spy or two on set. She had strongly considered still putting it on and entice him. However, he did not seem to want any physical affection and she had felt enough rejection from him for the day. 

Maybe tomorrow night, she reasoned as they both slid into bed. 

When he turned off the light on his side, she offered him an ‘I love you,” and a kiss on the cheek. However, neither were reciprocated nor did he ease back into their usual sleeping position with half of his body draped on top of her. No, instead he slept on the edge of their shared bed with his back to her. 

As his light snores filled her ears, Charlotte barely slept as she prayed her husband’s off day was merely a one-time issue and he would be back to his usual jovial self tomorrow. Somehow, despite the warm body next to her, their bed felt cold as ever. And she was no stranger to coldness in a relationship, that dreadful feeling of loneliness when someone was there with you. In fact, in her experience, coldness and indifference were a step up from her ex’s usual behavior. But she was not accustom to such coldness from Bakari. Warmth was she knew with him, all he had ever been. Even on the rare occasions when he was angry, he never acted as if she was a burden or as if he did not wish to be around her. And that was all she felt today: that coldness and the sharp edge of rejection. How else was she supposed to feel when, after three months apart, the love of her life acted as if he did not want to see her? But as she laid there, she still held on tight to her optimism. She vowed not to read too much into it or let it get to her too much. 

She sighed before turning over to face the wall away from him and close her eyes. 

Tomorrow, he’ll be back to normal, she thought to herself. He has to be. 

***

Charlotte shifted in bed, her hand reaching out to find the warmth that was her husband only to be me with the uncomfortable cold of an empty bed. 

“This nigga,” she whispered, rolling her eyes. She knew exactly where her husband was, where he had been almost every night and day since he returned home from Atlanta four weeks prior. 

She swung her legs out of bed and grabbed her robe, tying it tightly around her waist as she made her way through the darkness to her husband’s ‘man cave,’ which housed all his gadgets and toys. She scratched her head, her reddish-brown curls wild and untamed around her as she had accidentally pushed her scarf off in her restless sleep. She was not surprised to find him playing Call of Duty, the loud gunshots and bangs from the game mixing with the sound from an episode from some anime she did not recognize on the other screen. 

“Babe… Babe. Bakari!” She called his name several times, the annoyance in her tone increasing each time she had to repeat herself.

“What?” 

Charlotte was slightly taken back by his tone and that his eyes did not leave his stupid video game to even acknowledge her presence. However, it did not deter her as she crossed the room to stand behind him. Her hands went to his rub his shoulders, only stilling when she felt him flinch beneath her touch and shrug her hands off of him. She supposed she should be used to the bite of rejection from him these days, but it still stung. Her arms wrapped tightly around her midsection as if to fight the instinct to touch him again. 

“I-I just wanted to see if you were coming to bed soon. It’s like 3 am.”She knew her words sounded needy but she did not care. She missed her husband.

He immediately shook his head, wholly uninterested in retreating to the warmth of his shared bed with his wife. “Nah, not for a while.” 

Charlotte’s whole body seemed to sag in disappointment, her shoulders hunching over as sadness spread throughout her. She knew she had been foolish for being so hopeful… hopeful that he would return to bed and hopeful that he would return to the man who left here in February.

It seemed as though, since he wrapped filming Black Panther, he had little time or interest in being with her or his family. He holed up in his cave in the basement for 90% of the day, only exiting when he had no choice. And even then, it was clear to everyone that he was suffering through their company. His behavior was odd for everyone in their household and their family. Michael was typically the conversationalist but everyone was struggling to pull two words out of him lately and those two words felt like an Olympic feat. She could count on two hands the amount of true conversations they had had since he returned home. And it was not just his isolation from her and his family, which she could, at least, make excuses for. She had also never seen him so short and quick to anger. Usually, he was the calm one, the one who could jump in and diffuse a situation. But now, rage seemed to live just beneath the surface and it only took one out-of-place word for it to spring forward. 

It only took her a few days to recognize what was truly happening. It was the character bleeding through, the toxicity that was Erik Stevens tainting the waters of Michael B. Jordan. And the more she recalled the small tidbits of information she knew about the character he played, the more his behavior now and while he was shooting made sense. However, that did not make it any less anxiety-inducing and frustrating for her. Especially when it was not 24/7. There were certainly moments were she thought her husband was finally back fully. He was actually initiated conversation with her and laughed and joked around. However, those were always shorted lived as Erik seemed to rear his ugly head every time eventually, causing him to ignore her or retreat to his corner of the house. And she hated it, hated this Jekyll and Hyde rollercoaster she felt forced into enduring day in and day out. This ‘Erik-Michael’ hybrid was not the man she married and pledged her life to. But he seemed to have no desire to go back to who he was. 

“Damn… You could’ve just stayed in Atlanta if you were gonna stay holed up in here all day and night,” she mumbled to herself, her own frustration getting the better of her. 

“The fuck you just say?” He threw down his controller and stood up, the loud clanging to the ground causing Charlotte to jump slightly. However, his outburst did not deter her. 

“I said, ‘you could’ve just stayed in Atlanta if you were gonna act like you don’t have a wife and family here.’ I mean what the fuck is wrong with you, Bakari? Like I know it can be hard to shake a character, trust me, I’ve been there. But this is getting fucking ridiculous.” 

He rolled his eyes and took another gulp from his glass of scotch. “Always comin’ in here with some bullshit.” 

“See - that right there. Since when do you speak to me like that?? I don’t know what’s going on with you babe but this ain’t ok.” 

He shook his head. “I’m good. Don’t worry about it.” 

She scoffed, “I’m not an idiot, Michael. This,” she gestured to him, “This isn’t you! You don’t let me touch you,” she started listing all of the grievances that had built up over the last month. “You only let me close to you when you want to have sex. You’re fucking mean a-and aggressive to everyone. You barely speak to me and when you do, you act like you can’t fucking stand it. I’m worried about you! Because this isn’t healthy. And I’m worried about our marriage when you’re treating me like you don’t fucking care about me at all. I need you to tell me what is going on???” 

By the time she stopped talking, she was shouting, her chest heaving lightly with her frustration.

“MAYBE I DON’T CARE!” He yelled at her, his anger at her perceived attack boiling over to uncontrollable levels. Part of him knew she was right. However, hearing his behavior repeated back to him only increased his shame at the fact that he could not shake whatever this was. And that only increased his rage at himself, which he felt like could only be directed at one person: his wife. The words flowed from his mouth like vomit. He did not even know what he was saying until it was too late. “Maybe I don’t give a fuck about you or anyone else! This is the real fucking me. I got every right to be fucking angry if I want to be and I don’t give a fuck what you or anyone else thinks about it!”

The retort bubbling to the surface immediately died in her throat as his words hit her. She did not try to hide the tears that immediately sprang to her eyes as she stared at him. The back of her hand hastily wiped the falling tears away. She had never expected words so callous to come out of his mouth of all people. She could not fully even formulate thoughts, let alone a sentence, as his refrain just repeated in her brain over and over. 

Michael immediately regretted the words as soon as they left his mouth, especially since they were farthest from the truth. For the first time in a long time, he felt the spirit of Killmonger subside, even just for a moment. And he could finally see the damage he had left behind in his wake.

“Babe-“ he immediately raced up to her and touched her arm, immediately stopping when she flinched at his touch and stepped back away from him. 

“Don’t…” her voice cracked as a small sob escaped her lips. “D-don’t touch me.”  

She turned on her heels and raced out of the room, her eyes blurred in the darkness as she made her way, not to the bed she shared with Michael, but to a guest room on the other side of the house. She locked the door immediately and crumpled down to the floor, her body hunched over from the strength of her sobs. 

The sound of her quiet crying as she left the room stayed with Michael, playing a torturous loop in his mind long after he was alone. He had never been so angry or disappointed in himself. He threw the glass in his hand across the room and knocked everything on the coffee table across from his couch to the floor. The shattering sounds did nothing to appease him. 

He did not know what the fuck was wrong with him. Killmonger was dead but it seemed as if he was determined to not let Michael go. Every time he tried to lay the character to rest, Killmonger resisted, feeding on his insecurities, his pain, his anger, and every other negative emotion Michael usually had a handle on. Everything that he usually was able to diminish, Killmonger forced to the surface and amplified to new extremes. Nights like tonight there was only Killmonger and his ‘I have no one and nothing but my revenge’ attitude that Michael just could not shake. 

But Michael had someone… several someones who loved and cared about him. He did not know why he had routinely pushed them all away over the last few weeks. And now he had done significant harm to the one person he loved more than any other person on Earth. 

And he had no idea how to fix it… or if it was even fixable at all. 

***

Charlotte hummed quietly along with her music as she packed her suitcase, her song only interrupted by her quietly talking to herself as she went over her checklist. 

 “Where you goin’” 

Charlotte glanced up from her suitcase to find her husband standing in the doorway staring at her. The cold front in the Jordan household had been reduced to Arctic levels since their blowout argument two days prior. Michael had considered apologizing but his shame only pushed him farther into isolation. He could barely look at Charlotte and every time he tried to say something, a voice in his head overpowered his good sense and stopped him. And Charlotte, in turn, refused to speak to him.  

So the couple existed in near silence ever since. Unless his parents prompted conversation or the pair had to discuss something important, they simply acted as if the other was not there. Charlotte had even moved out of their bedroom, sleeping in a guest room down the hall to avoid him. 

“I’m going to New York.” She continued packing and gathering her things so she could close her bag. She did not even look at him to see the confused expression on his face. 

“I thought we were supposed to be going in a few weeks before the Tonys.” 

Charlotte nodded. Charlotte had work to attend to in the city and since they both loved NYC so much, they had planned to just go together in about two weeks and stay there until the Tony Awards. Michael had some time off before he had to start training again for Creed II so it would have been the perfect mini vacation for the pair. NYC was at the top of their shortlist of cities they did not visit without the other. And she was knowingly breaking that pact. However, it was, currently, the only city in the country she actually had something to do in and could stay busy while running away from her current problems. 

“Yea but I just think I should go now. Gonna help workshop this new musical and get some other shit done. Car’ll be here in like 30 minutes.”

His eyes grew wide at how soon she was leaving. “You weren’t gon’ say shit?” 

Still emotionally bruised from their argument two days prior, she could not stop her initial thought from escaping her lips. “Why would I? You don’t care, remember?” 

Her eyes clenched shut as she heard the words settle in the space, immediately wishing she could stuff them back down her throat. When she opened her eyes she could see his whole body was tense, his face crestfallen. It was not her intention to make him feel bad. She knew her husband and knew he did not mean those words. But there was a petty part of her who wanted him to hear how deep his words cut. 

However, it seemed to have the opposite effect. She could feel his energy shift, his defenses immediately rising as he felt attacked by her words. 

“So what? You’re leavin’ me cause of some shit you know I didn’t fuckin’ mean?”

Charlotte rubbed her forehead. She was not interested in fighting with him. 

“Nobody’s leaving you. I just… think we both need space. That seems to be what you wanted anyway? Time alone and away from me? Now you’ll have it. And maybe you can use the time to figure your shit out.” 

“Figure what out?” 

“What it is about this fucking character that you can’t shake? And why you can’t let him go? Because you can tell me you’re fine until you’re blue in the face but it isn’t true. And we both know it.” 

Michael knew she was not wrong but slowly his Killmonger facade was slipping. Michael was the one holding the reigns now and Michael needed his wife… here with him.  

“I don’t need space. You’re my fucking wife, Charlotte. I need you here.” 

Charlotte let out a humorless laugh. “See I know I’m your wife, Bakari. But it isn’t clear to me right now that you know that or that you even know you have family and friends who love you. Cause you aren’t acting like it.” She paused before walking over to stand in front of him. Her hand went to his cheek and wiped away a tear that she did not even think he knew was falling. 

“Look, I understand what you are going through… truly I do. I know what it is like to be you and in your skin and in your life but.. you have this other personality gnawing at your soul. It is hard a-and it takes work sometimes to let it go. B-but just because the actress in me understands this and empathizes with it doesn’t mean the wife in me can accept it. I don’t like who you are right now a-and I can’t accept how you’re treating me. I-I have no intention of leaving you, I promise. But I just can’t be here with you like this.” 

Hearing that his wife did not want to be around him hurt worse than any physical wound ever could. He immediately wondered if his mood swings and behavior was triggering to her, something he had been far too in his own head to even consider. 

“I’m so sorry for the other night. I didn’t mean it and you know I'd nev-” 

“I know. Truly, I do,” she assured him. “You aren’t him, you're the farthest person from him I've ever met. A-and I know you didn’t mean what you said. B-but for the last few weeks, babe, I’ve been walking around on eggshells with you. Every day, afraid I’m about to set off a ticking time bomb. And even if all that bomb does is hurl words at me, it,” she choked back sob that caused her voice to crack. “It f-fucking hurts, babe. It hurts to feel lonely with you here. It hurts to not be able to love you or receive that love back. It hurts to feel constantly rejected. And… most of all, it hurts to see you in pain like this. I’m just exhausted, Michael.” Her words sounded as weary as she felt, fresh out of energy and options. If anything, she hoped this time apart would replenish her and him.

A buzzing from her watch pulled her attention from him. Her car was here. 

She pulled her suitcase off of the bench at the end of their bed and grabbed her purse. She knew they both needed this but she did not expect it to hurt either of them as much as it did. The broken look on his face made her want to unpack her bag and stay exactly where she was. But she knew she couldn’t. 

She dragged her feet toward their door, stopping to envelope him in a hug, the first hug in weeks that he actually returned with earnest. She kissed him on the cheek before pulling away, knowing if she lingered in his touch too long, she would not be able to leave. 

“When will you be back?” He asked as she walked toward the door. Part of him was afraid to hear her answer.

She glanced back at him and shrugged. “Don't look so solemn, Bakari. Our marriage isn’t over. I’m with you to the end of the line. But that’s entirely up to you… let me know when my husband is back and Killmonger is dead and buried, and I’ll be on the first red eye back to you. And whatever you need to get him back, you tell me and I'll support you. I love you.” 

She offered him one last smile before she met her driver in the hallway and handed him her stuff, leaving Michael alone in their bedroom.

“I love you too.” 

Taglist: @certifiedlesbianbaddie @bangtanxmegan @reelwriter19 @prettyisasprettydoes1306 @msniaimani @hi888888sworld

A/N: So… what do you think??? Charlotte has left for NYC, though she promises to come back. How can our favs come back from this? Do you think she should've let at all or stayed to work it out? What do you think Michael needs to do to get his shit together? Let me know your thoughts! Thanks for reading!

[grimweaver]

Good to be home! Actors talking about wanting to be with their family made me run back to mine! I missed them!

Had a blast at Twin Cities Con !! It felt like three days worth of Christmas morning, yet at the same time like boot camp because that's the only other time I have done so much "bumper-to-bumper" walking around, and hurrying up to stand while waiting an excruciatingly long time. Oh and there was a lot of shouting but it was staff scolding people blocking walkways.

I am extremely agoraphobic, I hate bright lights, I have foot problems, I have never driven myself to Minneapolis before and was nervous about it, and I was doing this kind of thing alone for the first time in over fifteen years. But

But I was determined to be there for these people....

Hayden Christensen and IanMcDiarmid

Yes! I was so sure that I would have to go to San Diego or New York for this privilege, and traveling to those places alone would have broken the bank. Thank you so much for coming out here! I've been a Star Wars fan since 1995, when I happened to catch a scene from "Return of the Jedi" at Roundtable Pizza and asked my mother about it. So I got the original trilogy that was rereleased the Christmas of that year and became an instant fan. (There is nothing wrong with a Herbert cousin being a Star Wars fan too. Dune and Star Wars are not rivals!) so it's great to meet someone that had been a part of the franchise from the very beginning, and played two of the greatest villains of all cinematic history!

I totally get how crowds can be overwhelming, but I hope you will always take away from these experiences the understanding that the love and appreciation that you have deserved from the very beginning of your career is out there and it is massive. There are always going to people that chose to thrive by spreading their misery instead of finding more positive ways to deal with their problems, but don't listen to them. You saw how many people piled in like cattle for hours for a little bit of time to tell you how much they love you. The autograph thing was only icing on the big cake- a souvenir for a moment that mattered most to them. They were there for you! I only regret that referred to one film when I talked to you, Hayden. You are great in ALL movies! I was trying to get out what I could in the very little time I had, so I referred to a film I didn't think was mentioned often, and made sure to express appreciation.

Wes Johnson

After 16 years of being an Elder Scrolls fan and Lucien nut it's a real treat to finally meet the the one who voiced him and other beloved characters of the franchise, especially when I was the one that got stopped while browsing Artists Alley. I'm just flattered beyond words that you would spare free time just to talk like we were friends bumping into each other in the grocery store lol. For the longest time I thought I would have to fly out to a DC con for this ! Thank you much for coming out here again! And Thank you for saying I'm a good mom-- I should say you are an awesome dad and I wish I could have been as lucky as your kids are!Hope to see you again soon!

Big thanks to everyone that made this experience possible!!!

[purplecatghostposts]

I’ve got you! 4, 5, 6, 8, 12 and 14 please! 🪶

THANK YOU NINA <3

4. A Story Idea You Haven’t Written Yet

As previously mentioned, I have So Many, but one of my favorites that I wanna do one day I refer to as the ‘Akuma Apocalypse’ where Monarch has trapped all of Paris in a bubble they’re unable to get out of, many many Akumas run wild and cause chaos in the streets, and the Miraculouses are scattered.

Both Ladybug and her earrings are MIA, meaning currently, Akumas can’t be purified, Chat Noir has been Akumatized into Chat Blanc but isn’t fully following Monarch’s orders, and the remaining Heroes only have a few Miraculouses on their side, having divided Paris in half and fiercely protecting those under their care while trying to figure out how to gain more ground and beat Monarch.

And in the middle of it all, Argos and Queen Bee, or Félix and Chloé respectively, end up as allies with neither side trusting them and having similar goals: Finding Adrien and Zoé respectively, both of which have gone missing in all of the chaos.

There is. A LOT of Hurt/Comfort and a couple identity things I wanna do so naturally I wanna put it all together one day!!

5. First Sentence Of The Fifth Paragraph Of An Unpublished WIP

His biggest fan however, was his Aunt Amélie, who never failed to ask about his progress anytime she visited.

From the beginning of Chapter 9 of Consider The Spare ;)

6. The Word That Appears The Most In Your Current Draft

Nothing exciting unfortunately! Just ‘Félix’ which. You probably could’ve guessed-

8. If You Had To Write A Sequel To A Fic, You’d Write One For…

I’ve already mentioned wanting to write an Amélie Follow Up to ‘The Monster Who Loves You’ but I am currently writing a ‘Sequel’ (though more of a Prequel) to ‘Sub-In’ because a few scenes wouldn’t leave me alone, especially regarding how Adrien manages to pull off keeping being Chat Noir a secret with Félix in the same house as him!

12. A Trope You’re Really Into Right Now

KWAMI SWAP! I loveeee Kwami Swaps and exploring how different characters use different powers. It’s really fun to say ‘Hold on, this character would actually fit with this Miraculous really well if you think about it’ and just getting to go nuts with it! The ONE swap I struggle with So Much is trying to give Kagami the Fox. She’s very direct in battle and the Fox is all about being anything but. Beegami my beloved however 🥰

14. Where Do You Get Your Inspiration?

The short answer is… Kinda everywhere.

The long answer is that I like applying my current obsession to literally anything and everything I come across and as a result, I see where it takes me and sometimes the end result gets wildly out of hand. Sometimes it’s as simple as ‘What if [X] happened instead of [Y]?’ or just, ‘I wanna write more Félix and Chloé interactions specifically because I think they’re an interesting duo’ but sometimes it’s more like ‘I wanna see [Trope] so I’m gonna pull it off somehow’ and running from there. You get the idea!

Thank you again for the ask <3

(Fic Writer Ask Game)

[azraphels]

I am back with some curiosity about my new FF Thiam and Sterek!

I can tell you for sure that the first chapter, i.e. the prologue, will be published on 15 July!

It will have the title: ❝ICanMountYourBike.org❞

(Time to finish my last university exam of the year!!!)

PS. The image above is half the cover of the story! (It will also be published in Italian on Wattpad on my account: Azraphels)

AND HERE'S TO YOU....

The Brotherhood αβω!

•The plans of the brotherhood:

✖Curiosity!✖

⸻⸻ Jackson and Ethan's room is only Jackson's but they are boyfriends, it's weirder to enter that room and not find Ethan than the opposite!

⸻⸻ When Stiles convinced Theo and Scott to rent a structure for their brotherhood and they set foot for the first time in that garden with a pool and saw the Dépendance, Theo yelled "MINE" like when you reserve the front seat in a car. Stiles said that it didn't count in this case, Theo was opting to lick the wall like when you do to appropriate food, only that Scott stopped them (he didn't want to see the scene, especially because he had seen Stiles eat the last piece of pizza many times even if he had already been bitten by Theo).

⸻⸻In the basement the gym they built is much bigger, they have a lot of equipment and especially yoga mats. While Theo, Scott and Jackson train for the football team, Lydia and Allison (even though Allison doesn't want to) do yoga. Stiles doesn't know that there is a gym or he doesn't want to believe in their existence yet.

⸻⸻ To pay the tuition for this Brotherhood, Malia convinced the Dean of the university, who is also her father, to fork over the money.

⸻⸻ All the girls share the same bathroom, do you know how long it takes to wait for them when you have to go to a party all together? The problem is not even Malia who is ready in ten minutes probably still with rabies-style toothpaste in her mouth just because she feels like a trapped coyote, no, the problem is Lydia who stops them and dissects their closet just to find the perfect combination. This is why everyone turns the party time upside down. They just want to move!

⸻⸻ In Theo's Dépendance there shouldn't be a kitchen, but only a small freezer (with beer and soft drinks always inside), on the other hand there should be a large bathroom with shower and tub and a walk-in closet! Attached to the wall of the walk-in closet there should be a large desk! The wall that you see inside the room with the sofa should be completely made of a sliding glass door, as well as the wall in the bedroom.

⸻⸻ In the Breakfast area there is only a large glass window that is open to the porch and leads to the back garden and is connected by a small wooden structure in rustic roof style to Theo's Dépendance.

⸻⸻ Lydia and Allison have the largest room, even if Stiles wanted to take it, in the end Lydia brought all her bags full of clothes there... She filled the whole room so much that Allison didn't even know where to put her backpack.

⸻⸻ Isaac used to have a roommate, only later on this roommate said that they are all just a pack of crazy nuts and that he couldn't take it anymore! Said roommate today changed universities and moved to Arizona! Boyd you are so bad!

⸻⸻ For the Garage? How many cars are in there?! Stiles' Jeep, Jackson's Porsche, Allison's Blue Mazda, and Theo's blue Toyota Tundra! Then parked in front of the garage are: Scott's Lime Green Dirt Bike and Theo's Black Cruiser Bike!

⸻⸻All the books in the Librery... They've never been read by anyone except Lydia. They're only displayed to make it look like they're intelligent and cultured people when they're the kind of people who if they make a hole in the carpet, they cover it up by moving the sofa! (If they were the characters from Scream, Lydia would definitely be the Final Girl!)

⸻⸻Mason and Liam's room is the only one with a bunk bed! Originally Stiles and Scott also had one, only Scott was upstairs and was dating Allison, in short he couldn't sleep because those two wouldn't stop having sex. After that traumatic experience, Stiles realised that they needed two separate beds.... So they transferred the bunk bed to Liam and Mason. They still don't know! But Liam and Mason have never had this problem! Well after all Liam as soon as he hears a little wobble and a 'Corey' he knows he has to put his earplugs in. He remains sleepless looking at the ceiling but at least he doesn't have to hear his best friend!

⸻⸻ To enter Theo's Dépendance you don't even need a key, you enter directly through the sliding glass doors! Of course Theo always finds himself with a drunk Stiles and an equally drunk Scott, after a party, on his sofa and on his 100% pure wool carpet, lying on it is like being on a cloud!

⸻⸻ In Theo's Dépendance, to the side with the bathroom (since theoretically there shouldn't be a kitchen and the small refrigerator is near the sofa) there is a large desk where he keeps a desktop computer. He says he uses it to study and work and yet no one has ever seen him use it. Everyone has always seen him use the mobile one... Even in the bathtub... Much to Scott's regret, who had to witness a strange scene... After this experience, when Theo was 21, Scott gave him a nice flyer for a club of anonymous nymphomaniacs near the University. Theo, in this regard, swore that he would put a lock on his Dépendance! He never did.

⸻⸻ Next to the kitchen is a pantry. Everyone thinks that this larder is always full of the things they love but they probably don't know that Maria Consuelo, their Co-worker, i.e. the one who keeps the house tidy because otherwise it ends up like the Philippine dump, fills it regularly every single week and prepares meals for them to eat. Three meals a day for six days. Of course Maria gets paid, deducted from school fees!

⸻⸻ In Theo's Dépendance between the small living room and the bedroom there is no door that separates them, they should be a single area but only with a part of the wall to divide them.

⸻⸻ Jackson wanted to have his own room with a balcony but the only ones who have it are Lydia and Allison. Lydia had also assumed that she wanted her future boyfriend to do Romeo and Juliet style scenes with her, only the only things she saw from that balcony were: Scott serenading Allison by playing songs from his playlist like "Daddy Shark" (Stiles had only put it on to get revenge for the embarrassment he made with one of the girls from the Brotherhood next door); Jackson climbing onto the small roof that connected to Theo's Dépendance just to sneak in through the little window in the roof above the bed (it was not at that time that Lydia had started to suspect that Jackson and Theo were having a romantic relationship, but that wasn't the case. She learned it after that fateful day for Stiles... They are evil... Not to mention if Isaac is also included in the group); Liam climbing onto the roof to get in from Lydia's balcony because of the umpteenth time he lost his keys and had to call the locksmith to change the lock; Mason and Corey lovingly deciding to have nighttime picnics on the roof of the house and going up to that balcony; etc. None of them have decided to use the second balcony in the GameRoom yet, probably many of them don't even know there is one there.

⸻⸻ Liam's walk-in wardrobe is mostly made up of Mason's clothes, when he wakes up in the morning confused and late, he almost always finds himself wearing Mason's clothes only they fit him small. One day he went to class wearing a shirt that looked like a tight crop top on him (it even ripped). (Only really it was one of Mason's crop tops). Still, if someone were to see that walk-in wardrobe they'd think those odd pairs of socks were Mason's but that's not the case.... Liam loves socks with ducks; socks that look like converse but are just socks; socks that have his favourite memes as prints; weird socks with moulds like owl or chicken legs; but most of all socks with weird food prints with eyes. Still no one understands why Liam loves these socks!

⸻⸻ Liam and Mason's room on one side looks like a unicorn threw up in it, on the other side like a rocker threw up in it. On Mason's side are lots of posters of famous actors he likes and posters of motivational phrases; then most of Mason's stuff is pastel-coloured and his desk looks as if Mason really does post tik tok videos of perfectly arranged desks. Instead, Liam's side is always like a battlefield: clothes everywhere; his desk always full of food and randomly thrown books; his guitar leaning against the corner of the wall and his record player together with his record catalogue there on the cabinet next to the desk.

⸻⸻What about televisions? There are three televisions in the Brotherhood. The first is in the Family room, the second is in the Cinema room in the basement and the third is in Stiles and Scott's room. Absolutely no account is taken of the television set bought entirely by Theo in his Dépendance and the television set bought by Jackson because his social battery is zero.

⸻⸻ In the Dinning room there is a large table where everyone usually gathers for lunch when possible!

⸻⸻ The design of the rooms is different for everyone. For example: in Allison and Lydia's room, colors such as red and Havana prevail and it is the only room that does not have a walk-in closet but lots of wooden closets; in Stiles and Scott's room, warm colors such as blue and gray prevail even if more than anything their room seems half an obstacle course, the other half an investigative escape room (Stiles still has his transparent board because he is investigating a case); Jackson's room, in addition to having only a double bed, only colors like black and white prevail (no consideration is given to his tiger-striped carpet or the piece of furniture next to the bed where inside there are a pair of tiger-striped handcuffs and ... More); Isaac's room, on the other hand, is characterized by soft colors like the color of coffee with milk, he keeps a typewriter in his desk and in his walk-in closet there are many scarves; Kira and Malia's room has a large double bed and there are too many colors that remind us of a summer day. Theo's Dépendance, on the other hand, is characterized by the colors black, white and dark blue. It has a minimalist theme, because Theo doesn't like to have many objects except for essential ones like beer and the TV.

For other curiosities stay connected!!!!

[violivs]

NMTDaily: We Are The Watch and The Game is Afoot(ball)

- Doing the first two Dogberry & Verges episodes in one post. They’re always the characters I care about the least in any version of Much Ado, but these two are so cute I can’t help but love them.

- I totally forgot their videos are all posted on Ursula’s Watch Projects channel! I definitely somehow developed the incorrect memory of them having their own channel because they have orange borders on their thumbnails and every other new thumbnail color so far has heralded a new channel.

- Someone in the comments called Dogberry & Verges “Sherlock and Brittany S. Pierce,” and I will never recover from the sheer brilliance of that call. Verges definitely has Brittany energy.

- They’re very cute, arguing about what kinds of cases they’ll take. Do we ever find out whose cat Tibbles is? I bet she’s Dogberry’s cat and she got out when he left the door open too long.

- The malapropisms and exaggerated speech are so perfect though. It takes skill to write (and act!) two characters who are so wrong in every big fancy word choice and yet so convinced they’re right, who take their detective work SO seriously even though no one else does. And making them two kids playing at a detective agency. What great adaptations of these characters from the play.

- I think we already got the famous line “my mom says I have to wear the suspenders to keep the Devil from infiltrating me” in Vox Pops if I’m not mistaken, but I forgot to talk about it. Do we think Verges’ mom is crazy religious so Verges hides out at Dogberry’s house to get away from her? I love their friendship but the idea of Verges feeling unsafe at home makes me sad.

- “We are The Watch. And we are Watching!” *staring awkwardly*

- The kazoo Sherlock theme!!!! I genuinely almost forgot about that. Comedy gold. I love it. And I love that D&v definitely recorded that together (with Ursula’s help). I was wondering whether the Kazoo player was Dogberry and then the accompaniment of the second kazoo started and I cracked up imagining Verges very seriously chiming in to play her part. On kazoo. Amazing.

- “The ginger nuts you will find in your bag are from us” Perfect unhinged yet thoughtful energy. I know this video description is addressed to Ursula, but I have a strange urge to check my own bag, as though D&v have reached across ten years and thousands of miles to somehow leave ME ginger nuts. Mysterious.

- Starting “The Game is Afoot(ball)” now. I love how many angles we get on this same scene at the game. Reminds me of a future scene we get multiple angles on, except that scene we get D&v scrambled footage first and are left to frantically piece together what’s happening…

- Okay, I had to pause the video to die a little at Verges saying “masturbation” instead of “mastication” when talking about the muffins. I cannot believe they snuck that in lol. I want to cover Verges’ ears even though she doesn’t know what she’s saying! Cringing so hard for her right now.

- “We are going to interview civilizations!” Love that line lol

- So the first game of the season is a rematch with the team Messina was forced to forfeit last year’s championship or whatever to because the fire alarm was mysteriously pulled. Wild how Dogberry & Verges are actually giving us Important Backstory here.

- “what does that have to do with soccer” GASP! Why did that girl say “soccer”? She’s not American! Huh??? (This may be copy editor brain wondering whether I try really hard to get terminology right in my fanfics for nothing…)

- Does Pedro/Peter know that John pulled the fire alarm? It seems like everyone else does. It makes you wonder why he’s so surprised that John hates him enough to do what he does later on. I guess he’s just in denial of how bad things really are between them.

- We get shown exactly how bad things are between the Donaldsons with Pedro’s snippy “HALF-brother” comment and the way he slaps the car keys into John’s hand in that little moment we see between them. All is not well in the house of Donaldson. And at this point, we only know that because of Dogberry and Verges’ videos. It’s amazing how everything is important in its own way in this show.

- Pedro must be so eager to publicly distance himself from John with the half-brother comment both because he begrudged John’s arrival making his family life tough for a while, but also because other kids at school think John’s weird and Pedro, however unconsciously, doesn’t want him to tarnish his image. At least he does seem to feel bad about the little tiff over the keys.

- You also have to feel for John, because Pedro making comments like that publicly means that the whole community knows all of John’s personal business and probably whispers about his parentage, and he knows that they all know. It has to be very lonely to be John. And Pedro is doing the opposite of making things easier for him. It all must have been hard on Pedro too, their family being so talked about, and he’s also just a kid, but it’s still a huge dick move on his part to treat John that way.

- “John owned up to it” says Claudio, so everyone does know, so Pedro must know that John sabotaged the game. He just doesn’t understand it as an act of sabotage against him specifically, which is clearly what it was. He picked the most important game of the season because it would hurt Pedro most to have ruined, more than any other game. (And Robbie helps John pull the fire alarm because *he*, Robbie, wants revenge against Claudio for ‘stealing’ his spot as goalie, so he ruins Claudio’s first ever game).

- Ooh Ben is walking away with the group and does not have his green uniform shirt with him, so he did leave it on the ground in front of Beatrice! Do we think she really took it home to give back to him at school? Or did it end up in the lost and found? Not that we ever see another game, but he would need it back. Oh, maybe Bea gave it to Leo to give back to Ben, without telling him who left it there so he and Hero wouldn’t have more ammo to tease her about Ben. Analyzing incredibly minor details is fun!

- I also adore that Benedick apparently named this video by making a “the game is afoot-ball” pun when talking to Dogberry and Verges. Interesting that there’s so little footage of Ben in this video- did they interview him in this scene at all? Or did he name the video when he and D&V were all over at Ursula’s house getting editing help with their new vlogs? Either way, love this random little Ben-related detail.

- Also, you hear a lot of Ben being described as all limbs, but watching him walk away in the background here? Jesus, the boy is TRULY all limbs. Look at him! Flailing around. Playing catch with Balth, establishing them as friends. I am… like, still ALARMINGLY obsessed with this character, my god. I was just trying to see if we could hear what the group walking away were saying, I swear, lol.

- The blond guy who was standing with Balthazar in Balth’s clip in this video: Surf-Lifesaving Tony? Other Tony? Damien???

- “Exit stage right!” “It’s left, you moron!” Adieu for now, readers!

💖🦩🥭

[practically-an-x-man]

Your OCs are told they're going to watch a Star Wars movie. Which one will make them happiest and which one will be the most disappointing?

Ooooh good question! I'm gonna open this up to movies and shows because... I'm a nerd lol

Rae: happiest with Empire Strikes Back, most disappointed with the prequels

Robin: Loves all of them, but would be particularly pleased at the Tuskan Raider sign language in Book of Boba Fett

Madison: I think she'd love the sequel movies, actually! She'd like Rey as a protagonist for sure. And she's not familiar enough with them to have a least favorite.

Ophelia: Hm... she regularly has Star Wars marathons with the Peters and Ned, so she's familiar with all of them, but I think she'd be the most fond of the Clone Wars show (and would have it on constantly when she's working in her lab)

Jasper: Also has a lot of Star Wars marathons and loves them all, but I think they just couldn't sit through Rogue One. It's not bad, it's just... long, and they prefer to have established characters.

Katherine: Being a nerd kid (like me!) she grew up on the original and prequel movies and those will always be close to her heart. Though she'd go nuts for how cool and artistic the different episodes of Star Wars: Visions are!! And she found the Rise of Skywalker to be a little disappointing, like a lot of people

Kestrel: Has not seen any of them, and probably only would if one of the kids managed to corral them into it.

Quinn: I think she'd actually really enjoy the Force Awakens, but neither of the other sequel movies. She likes how many cool ideas were set up, but felt like they sort of lost focus and got less compelling as the series went on

Eris: Has only seen them because Rick made them have a marathon one day, and doesn't really have any strong opinions. If they had to pick a favorite, he'd like Mando: a rogue fighter, affiliated with no one side? That's Eris' thing for sure, and they think the fight scenes are neat.

Nikoletta: Likes them all, but in a detached way. No favorites, no least favorites, they're entertaining to have on (and Abner likes them) but she won't seek them out on her own. She's more of a Star Trek fan (and before you ask, the original series and Next Gen mainly)

[jazzypizzaz]

Fanfic writer interview meme

thanks @obstinatecondolement for tagging me!

How many works do you have on AO3? 79

What's your total AO3 word count? 337,715

Your Top 5 stories by kudos

Sweet Dreams Are Made of This DS9, Quodo cuddling, Odo is a blanket. Of all my fics this is the one I’m most perplexed by its kudo count. Are people that hungry for hurt/comfort pre-slash? Was it on a rec list of a popular blogger I’m unaware of? I don’t know, like it’s very nice it's good fic, but not one I think about often.

What Is This Feeling, So Sudden and New? DS9, Quodo, Odo adjusts to being solid, drinks all sorts of drinks, and has a sexual awakening. Now this is the fic I’m most proud of. That makes sense. Sexual tension! Plot! Emotional beats paced just right! (imo)

like to the lark at break of day arising OFMD, Stede/Ed’s first time, silly but emotional sex. This one I posted just at the right time in the fandom, and I had a lot of fun with it. Dumb banter, Stede gets carried away, Ed nuts and cries, I’m hitting all my favorite tropes lol.

Made Me Feel (Shiny and New) DS9, the sweetest hard Quodo, slow banging D/s double bluff. I never question a smut fic doing well. I assume you’re in it for the same reason I wrote it lmao.

Down On My Knees (I Wanna Take You There) DS9, Quodo, blowjob and tentacle sex. Ditto. :-P

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? 

I always try to!!! The exception being if I’m not paying attention to fandom at all at the time, I go through phases like anything.

As a reader, I love to comment for the author interaction -- especially because sometimes you mention something you liked and it unlocks a whole interesting train of thought from the author about the behind the scenes insights, like a bonus meta. I’m obsessed by this pairing, you are too, please tell me everything hell yeah.

Do you write crossovers? 

I’ve written one Glee/TNG and one Glee/Harry Potter. Not generally though.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind? 

Yes. Oh idk whatever I think is hot that the character also might be into. It has to be goofy, somewhat ridiculous, and definitely too many feelings are involved... 

Have you ever had a fic stolen? 

Not that I know.

Have you ever had a fic translated? 

I think someone asked me for permission once or twice, but I don’t remember if I saw the final result.

Have you ever co-written a fic before? 

No, gosh that’d really have to be the right person because it sounds maddening as a process. The potential to be more fun?? But potentially more frustrating.

What's your all time favorite ship? 

Oh you know. Somehow I started writing for rubber head aliens and never looked back.

What's a WIP that you want to finish but probably never will? 

I’m bad at starting things (there are tons of fic prompts I squirrel away for a rainy day), but compulsive about finishing them. If I have more than a couple hundred words written, by jove I’ll figure out a way to get to something I can call a final product that I share, even if it's several years later. 

Even when I’ve posted WIPs, almost the entire fic was written, I just needed to iron out details in the second part and only published the first part to stop myself from messing with it. Actually, exception that proves the rule (?) Coin-Operated Boy is my first true WIP, where I have a long list of ideas brainstormed, but I’m writing a bit by the seat of my pants rather than having all the plot points mapped out already. We’ll see how that goes, always fun to try something new!!

I’m also still committed to finishing the fic I started where Quark and Odo meet in prison and escape together based on this one comic about Rocket/Groot I read. I have like 7k written but there’s a looooot of rough sketchy bits and both details and broad strokes I have to figure out first.

What are your writing strengths? 

Managing tone? Something I enjoy doing anyway -- zipping along on a wild ride from goofy to angsty to heartfelt to absurd and back again. I’ve also been told I’m good at weird banter lol.

What are your writing weaknesses? 

Awkward run on sentences where I’m trying to pack too much in at once. PLOT ??? WHAT IS PLOT why can’t the characters just have a lot of feelings for no reason idk idk. being heavy handed with metaphors and ~themes~

What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet, but want to? 

I want to write for Phlox sometime. I’m sure there’s a Quark rare pair I haven’t touched yet that’ll get obsessed with enough for a oneshot lol.

What's your favorite fic that you've written?

“What Is This Feeling?” has my whole heart. 

"Dinner for One" also has a special place - getting out my Sisko family feels, plus I pulled off making Siskuark happen (briefly) lol.

--

@wowbright @chacusha @quodo-brainrot tagging you if you want to participate I'd love to read your respones!

[chvoswxtch]

👋 hi, i'm back again already :)

i'm so glad i'm not alone in being completely feral for those set pictures. like it's insane what just seeing them has done to my brain chemistry. i saw them like an hour or so before i had therapy on wednesday and i felt like i was going insane for the rest of the day. the frank brainrot is real and i will be binge-reading ur fics again (bc i love ur portrayal of frank and i need that man in my life) and just UGH, i can't even explain how this man makes me feel without sounding fucking nuts.

and okay after finishing season two, i just, i have no words. i know that the fandom doesn't always love amy but genuinely, she has such a special place in my heart. and the lengths that frank went to protect her actually just made me want to sob. he absolutely melts my heart and i remember when i watched the start of season 2 all the way back in like september last year, i literally sobbed at the end of the first episode after he had that conversation about maria with the woman he met at the bar. like i am such a simp for this man, it's insane how emotional i get over it sometimes.

also i know you've watched criminal minds (the two fics u wrote were absolutely delicious btw) so i feel like you will understand this but pilgrim's actor being the same as will's just made it slightly hard for me to take him seriously. like the actor did a phenomenal job but i just couldn't help but see him as will. it was so jarring and also just a little bit funny. either way, i didn't hate the storyline as much as i thought but the connection between him and the schultz family did seem a little jarring? or like out of the blue? but i'm not sure if that's because of the writing or because of how long it took me to actually finish the show. but i think it was such an interesting way to connect the two plots even if it confused me?

then okay, like billy this season, he was a complete fucking psycho and usually ben barnes can make psychos be so hot but after he and dumont tried to like break frank by making him think he killed innocents, bro i was not on this man's side anymore. like i honestly was so mad at him. i haven't like been that mad at a character in so long, i was concerned for myself. honestly, i could have strangled billy in that moment. also dumont was just such a kind of dull character? i think the scene in like episode 12 when dumont and madani are having that conversation about like the trauma she (and billy and frank) went through was so good but that was like the most interesting i found her. i'd love to know your thoughts on her!

and like madani? i can't talk about madani without going too feral. like her and frank are my definition of bisexual panic. any time they are on the screen together, i go insane. the thought of the two of them actually is just- it's too much. i feel like madani doesn't get a lot of love in the fandom which always makes me sad because she is (to me) a literal goddess. but anyway.

i have so many more thoughts (mainly about how much i love frank and how fucking good a job jon does at portraying him) but this is already such a long message. i am SO sorry, i can do nothing but apologise

(the only reason it's so long is because none of my friends have actually watched the punisher so i have no one to talk to. sorry court <3)

i'm gonna ramble below the cut with you, please step into my office <3

those set pictures are ruining my life. like it still feels surreal that it's happening?? but i'm so happy they listened to the fans and seem to be taking the reboot seriously. also I know how protective charlie and jon are over matt and frank, so I trust they're making sure it's done right. akjdfhdfh you're too nice to me pls

I loved season 2, personally. it felt a little rushed, but I think that has to due with the fact that they planned more storylines and got cancelled because of the disney plus thing. I liked that we got to see a more fatherly side of frank with amy because it added so many more layers to his personality. we got to see it with the micro's kids, but we got to see it so much more with amy and I loved that

OMG WHEN WILL SHOWED UP I WAS LIKE SIR WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?? WHERE IS JJ??? it's so funny you say that bc the first thing I saw that actor in was a horror movie and then criminal minds but I always think of those two when I see him lmao. the pilgrim/schultz storyline was a little strange but again I think it's one of those things where they planned for more and weren't able to do it with the cancellation

I did not care for dumont's character at all to be candid. I don't really feel like she added much to the storyline. my main complaint about billy in season 2 is he still looked too pretty LMAO. like I get it, it's ben barnes, they can only do so much, but frank rocked his shit too hard for him to have a few scratches. I would've preferred to see him be more evil and psycho and bloodthisty for revenge but that's just me

DINAH MADANI THE WOMAN THAT YOU ARE. she and frank are the definition of bisexual panic. she's just...like that scene of her and karen in the conference room when she's asking her if she knows anything about frank being alive?? karen is a stronger woman than me bc I would've let her bend me over that table. dinah doesn't get enough love in this fandom and that doesn't sit right with me and I feel it is my civic duty to keep the thirst for her alive

pls don't apologize! I am happy to chat about frankie anytime :)

[yanderes-galore]

Fandom: BioShock (infinite I guess? Idk some time during Atlas was around)

Character: Atlas, Irish twat

Pairing: Romantic for Atlas, altho darling would theoretically not like them.

Type of Fic: a short. Plot being, darling tries to escape Atlas again (who wouldn't the dude is nuts) and he cements his craziness by giving her a lobotomy (like in the game) as punishment. Whether he finishes the surgery or not is up to you, all I know is that you can theoretically survive a lobotomy. Or not, idk I ain't a doctor

I'd love to! I watched the cutscenes with Atlas in them for Infinite and I'd love to write something similar to that!

I had to do lobotomy research for this fic-

Change In Mindset

Yandere! Atlas Short

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Female Darling, Manipulation, Failed escape attempt, Kidnapping, Lobotomy attempt/Punishment, Forced relationship, Sadism, Violence, Torture mention, Murder, Sexism if you squint ig, Blood, I kept the Lobotomy scene vague and not detailed because I hate the idea of it and I was cringing the entire time, Put the image under the read more as it could be a triggering gif.

Traversing Rapture alone was a dangerous feat. Splicers roamed everywhere and actively hunted each other down. Rapture was a collapsing city consumed with conflict.

To you, the idea of hiding from Splicers like some street rat in a sunken city was better than going back to Atlas.

Ah, Atlas... a revolutionary leader against Andrew Ryan's tyranny. In reality, the two weren't all that different. If anything you found Atlas a bit more sadistic and cruel than Ryan.

Atlas was also your lover. You wish you could say he wasn't... but he was never too keen on the idea of letting you go. You had become an item with him on a whim, he's charismatic and has such a way with convincing people.

When you got closer to him you realized the truth of who Atlas was. He wasn't a charming leader, it was an act. He's cruel, manipulative, and willing to kill and torture to get what he wants.

That very same Atlas tried to be sickeningly sweet with you. He called you his girl, his doll, his lovely lady.... The very same mouth that hurled insults and threats towards others... kissed you with passion and complimented you.

He's a charming monster. One who metaphorically chained you to him to keep you as his. You had no doubts he killed and tortured for you... just so he can keep his claws in your flesh.

There was a certain point you couldn't handle being beside him anymore. His kisses and hold were always too rough. He made you do what he wanted, regardless on how you felt.

That look in his eyes screamed possessive. He always looked at you with hunger as he held you. He scared you... sometimes you feared he'd kill you.

You escaped... you ran the moment you sensed danger within the man who claimed to love you. The Splicers were not much better but with some stealth you could probably survive, right? In all honesty... you had no idea where you were going to go after this.

Escaping Atlas was simply a dream. Ever since his whole crew had been sunk by Ryan, you have been stuck here. It's like you were in a cage, really.

He'd find you at some point... there was no doubt he was looking for you now. You knew he'd never let you go willingly. In fact, many of his thugs swarmed this area.

You felt like everyone was your enemy. Think of your situation, a young women lost in a city that's falling apart. Her lover being a cruel tyrant for "the people"....

Being caught was inevitable. You could only run for so long. As much as you wanted to ignore the truth, the truth would slam back into your face.

Just like the wrench that collided with the back of your head.

...

By the time you're able to regain your bearings, you're strapped to a chair in a familiar room. The lights blind you and your head throbs painfully like a rhythmic drum

This looks a lot like... the room you and Atlas would frequently stay in? You can't think much without the back of your head ringing in pain. You shake in your restraints, trying to pull them off.

Only to stop when the shape of a hand grips your chin.

"Don't move, doll, it'll only make it all hurt a lot worse."

The tyrant rears his deceptively charming head.

"Atlas...."

"Now where were you running off to, little lady? Needed some fresh air? You know it's dangerous without me around...."

You stay silent, what were you thinking....

"It hurts, really. To think you'd run away from the one I thought you held so dear. Luckily I had one of my men carry you in..." Atlas then leans forward, grinning. "Of course, he hit you rather hard, so I had to correct that by slitting his throat. You aren't getting off easy either, love."

"You really are going to kill me, aren't you-"

"Kill you? I could never. I love you too much for that..." Atlas leans forward to kiss your lips teasingly before pulling away. "I would never kill my doll... however, a man has to correct his lady's behavior, right?"

Your heart drops to you stomach when Atlas turns away only to come back with two tools. A metal spike, and a mallet. Your eyes shakily trail from the tools to his disappointed face.

"I thought you'd be a good girl and listen to me. I guess not... which is where these come in. Normally a doctor would do this but I'd rather do it on you myself, my love."

He pushes your head back and aims the pointed tool near your eye socket. You shake and tell him 'no'. He doesn't listen.

"This is a lobotomy, my dear." Atlas hums, pushing the tool closer.

"You could say it will correct your behavior. I always felt you've been a bit too rebellious for my liking."

You feel the tool starting to prod its way into your skull. Atlas grabs the mallet and grins while blood flows down from your eye.

"How about we change your mindset, love? I promise to be gentle...."

You scream for him to stop... he ignores you and taps the mallet on the tool lodged in your skull.

----

You felt like you lost a part of yourself after Atlas took you in. In fact, you literally did. Atlas had removed a part of your brain. Some memories from your past were replaced with what felt like blank holes.

Your emotions... were nearly non-existent. Apathy was all you ever felt. Actually... you felt quite hollow.

Atlas didn't seem too upset about it. In fact, he felt it was deserved. Running away deserved punishment... now you wouldn't run away. Now you had to stay by him.

Atlas still kissed you and said he loved you. Even though he mutilated your mind beyond repair, he simply used it to his advantage. Now you were just like he had wanted you.

You were like a doll that listened to his every word. You never showed much emotion afterwards. That only allowed Atlas more control, which kept him happy.

"It's such a shame I had to change you like this, doll...." Atlas murmurs, kissing you once again while holding your cheek. "But if I'm being honest... I like that you no longer fight me with anything now."

He pulls you closer, combing his hands down your back.

"Now you won't run... you won't even rebel..."

Atlas holds your chin upwards and meets your distant gaze.

"You can just be my girl... with none of the added fuss, right, love?"

He kisses you once again, but you don't react.

[horsetailcurlers2]

watching grey’s anatomy for the first time after only watching private practice: another long and obnoxious stream of my thoughts while watching (season TEN, bc i’m gonna keep doing these until someone tells me to stop)

-i guess we’re all just getting electrocuted now

-okay i never really got the mcdreamy thing to be honest but watching that man juggle…. yeah i get it

-changed my mind again he’s a stupid idiot

-cristina was really harsh but i think meredith is very much misunderstanding her point

-super random but is it weird that i kind of hate derek and meredith’s house? don’t get me wrong it’s objectively very nice but the vibes upset me. too many windows

-i adore halloween episodes. this is so fun. the musical score is insane.

-lots and lots of guest actors on this show have also been in mad men. maybe i’ll make a spreadsheet.

-a fork!!!!

-i like the OCD storyline it seems like they’re trying to do with bailey. at least so far. it’s the most interesting storyline she’s had in a while.

-arizona is kind of treating that resident girl horribly imo

-okay now meredith is just being purposefully obstinate with this whole christina situation

-so i guess we’re all just mouth kissing residents on the mouth now, huh?

-oh no i sense murphy might start to go a little off the rails

-there’s too much happening all at once! first of all, idk that i buy the chemistry between april and jackson enough for all the hoopla to make sense. second of all, i thought murphy would’ve been the one to go off the deep end. i totally should’ve foreseen ross having a breakdown. they’ve been sprinkling seeds. third of all, regarding obama just calling up derek…… okay i guess.

-NOW human resources chooses to actually involve themselves in this tomfoolery??

-the way that everyone in this show treats getting married like it’s just a fun thing to do on the weekend is driving me nuts. bc duh, jackson and april!!!!! duh you should have talked about how you want to raise your kids before you jumped into this!!

-“it’s not as if i’m insensitive to deaf culture or anything. i just think [something that is completely insensitive to deaf culture]”- jackson avery

-amelia!!! (side note i never noticed this but the shepherd sibling casting is so good. they have like the exact same eyes)

-BURKE?????

-i forgot how much this man pisses me off bc he’s comparatively much better than owen

-this scene is so interesting and part of me really wants cristina to take burke’s offer but i’m so distracted by the slow dad rock cover of “like a virgin” that they’re playing in the background. wild choice

-i will miss yang terribly but i think this is the right choice for her character

-“don’t let what he wants eclipse what you need. he is very dreamy but he is not the sun. you are.” !!!!!!!!!!!! sobbing

[noahtally-famous]

Tell me about Picking Petals and that time travel AU of TDPI

Is the elimination order different, or does it go the same way as canon?

oh my godddd this ask has been sitting in my drafts for two months now i think?? ive been holding back on answering this bc i wanted to be in the right environment where i can infodump without getting interrupted. im so so super sorry for the long wait, i hope my response makes up for it!!

first of all, TYSM FOR THE ASK DUDE heads up you're gonna prob get a longass ramble abt this from me so yeah lmao without further ado, lets get into it!

PICKING PETALS:

the fic loml, the first EVER td fic i thought up and I've three chapters prewritten for it, half of the fic planned out/outlined, and so many scenes, moments, interactions, etc for it thought up. i'd gotten back into the fandom and while rewatching tdpi for the first time in 7 years i came up with this idea.

started off as purely self-indulgent bc i wanted to write my spin on the truth or scare episode, and then it turned into all this and im so living for it!!

dashawn-centric, obv. it veers off-course from canon during and after episode 4 (the truth or scare one). the overarching plot is 'what if dave and shawn kissed for the scare, and all the shenanigans that followed with getting feelings for someone you didn't expect all bc of one (1) kiss--as well as some other stuff that snowballs from it bc its total drama'. this is TOTALLY canon divergent. the elimination order is 90% different from canon. the characters get way more depth to the point where they may seem like different ppl with only their canon stereotypes reminding them of who they are in canon (not different as in like ooc btw before anyone jumps to that conclusion, i meant different as in a lot of the characters get more of a personality than what canon gave them lmao). a lot of my dave lore spawned thanks to this fic. dave, himself, gets such a fucking glowup from the 2D version of him canon gave while still retaining his 'normal guy' persona. same with shawn tbh, i love the expansion I've done for the characters in this fic ngl, but personally i love how dave turned out

dave & ella friendship, dave & sky friendship, background jasammy, jasmine & shawn friendship, sammy & shawn friendship, mild sammy & dave camaderie/friendship, sammy & amy development, dave & topher rivalry interactions, dave & scarlett interactions, shawn & topher rivalry, the final three being a ball of tension bc of enmity (i wont say who they are), ella getting her development, dives into character backstories and why they auditioned for td, tensionnn of all kinddd, dramaaa of all kinddd, scarlett's evilness actually being foreshadowed before the Great Reveal, etc etc the list just keeps on going!! these folks are gonna have tdi vibes--they're going to act like teens and befriend each other (or hate each other) bc canon tdpi sorely lacked that and imo the pi cast exudes found family vibes

due to how variant the elimination order is, i literally had to create two new challenges for two of the chapters, esp post-merge bc chris was interjecting himself into practically all the challenges in canon lmaoo also tdpi's eliminations were annoying bc why were there two double eliminations for literally no reason? that's gonna change here as well; no double eliminations, and there's gonna be a variant of elimination types (for example: there's gonna be a 'character is too injured to compete therefore obligatory elimination' type happening in this fic--hmmm i wonder who'll be behind the injury... and some more "scandalous" types bc this is total drama, it's not gonna live up to its name if there aren't any eliminations that are 'unfair'!)

starts from ep4 all the way to the finale--and speaking of the finale, the finalists are partly different from canon too. like i said, nearly everything diverges from canon to a degree. i kind of went nuts with this fic lmao its my bby, i treasure it with my heart, i want to write more for it, i want to publish it so badly, but my goal is to get at least 20 chapters into agtsta before publishing picking petals (tho idk i think that plan might change...im considering maybe giving myself breathing time to get more prewriting done until january before starting the new year off right with some picking petals posting!)

REWIND, REPEAT:

the time-travel au fic!! its still heavily in the works so im basically spitballing ideas here, but im thinking of two options.

dave time-travel route:

initially my idea for this fic (can you tell i love putting dave in situations? that boy deserves to be spun in a mixing bowl), and it'd be interesting bc he's sort of like an anti-villain?? bc its directly after the finale when he gets left behind and attacked by scuba bear. he comes across some malfunctioning tech on the island while running away and BOOM next thing he knows he's somehow zapped back to where and when it started--on the blimp at the very beginning of the season. so he is still reeling from everything that occurred and naturally he isn't feeling too lightly abt the whole ordeal

some of my mutuals may know this, but when i was like 10 and watched tdpi for the first time, i made notes for a season 2 au; it involved a personality shift for dave (even when i was 10 he was one of my favs). my idea in the notes was that he became a hollyleaf, if you know warrior cats lmao; he's more reserved, there's this inner turmoil and energy coiled in him, he's an enigma, he doesn't open up much, he has this Dark Secret vibe surrounding him, but he's also clever and will do anything to get to his goal and he has extensive knowledge of the island due to his time on there. this personality remains the same more or less in this fic. the catch is dave acts more in a villainy way but he doesn't rlly have what it takes to be a villain even though a part of him wants to (hence anti-villain). as much as he pretends he doesn't, he still has emotions--just heavily barricaded, and those emotions prevent him from fully losing his head. he forms an alliance with scarlett (and maybe topher??? idk why i love that trio sm, they would be so iconic when it came to villainy; bonus if sugar informally joins too, not as like a set part of their group tho bc she has her own agenda) and has one goal in mind: to get sky eliminated. gone is the lovestruck fool, he's revenge-driven and says he doesn't have time for love bc he's in it for the competition. (idk yet if there will be love interests for him or if this is just gonna be a dave-centric fic). the finalists are prob gonna be dave and sky bc that'd be fucking iconic after the build-up

shawn & dave friendship, topher & dave alliance, scarlett & dave alliance, sugar & dave hesitant alliance, sky & dave one-sided enmity, ella & dave friendship, maybe more depth abt beardo?? or leonard?? jasmine & dave mutual wariness and distrust, chris absolutely loving this version of dave

sammy time-travel route:

development (lots of development!) on sammy's end as well as her relationship with her sister amy. she'll prob be a finalist too?? or at least in the final four/three, and idk i want it to be a sammy & amy finale but idk if that's too cliche lmaoo i think it'd be interesting!

this one's different. shortly after tdpi ended, sammy partakes in a "controlled experiment" with several other teens with the reward of getting paid a somewhat hefty amount. she decides why not, seems simple enough, but when it's her turn there's a fluke and she gets chucked back in time to the beginning of tdpi (which was the last thing she'd been thinking abt before the experiment). however, maybe one or two episodes in, she decides to take charge in the situation she's going through and adopts a 'fuck it we ball' attitude abt the whole thing where she tries to be a different person--the kind of person she's always aspired to be like but amy had always belittled her for--and this makes her less of a pushover overtime and instead more bolder and persistent in getting as far as she can.

she makes new friends that she hadnt noticed or gotten the chance to become closer with when she initially was on the show. maybe ella & sammy friendship, jasammy, either scamy or scarlett & amy 'we're gonna betray each other' alliance OR scarlett & sammy 'friendship' OR a scarlett using manipulative tactics to play both sisters, etc etc.

both her version and dave's versions of this fic idea are different bc neither of them are fixated on the prize money. they have their own agendas for getting ahead of the rest. dave for revenge and beating sky; sammy for being the person she's always wanted to be and actually moving past the box amy placed her in.

third option (that i literally thought up like ten seconds after writing the sammy route):

COMBINE THE TWO OPTIONS, that'd be pretty sick ngl like dave's on the island when he flashes back and believes he's the only one in the past, but sammy, at the same time, had partaken in that experiment and flashed back to the past too; neither know the other is in the same predicament bc they try to hide it thinking they're the only one until like...later in when they start getting Suspicious and maybe some slip-ups occur bc they're tryna keep a low-profile but things happen y'know? they're 16 year olds who figured out time-travel exists, obv they're gonna fuck around and find out. possible alliance between the two once everything is out in the open? out of pure mutual beneficiary? it'd be funny bc both their personas are on opposing sides lmaoo dave & sky finale, with sammy and amy ending up post-merge? sammy's prob still gonna be in the final four, i think, but idk abt amy lmao i still think before amy gets eliminated she and sammy have a Confrontation bc i def need sammy to confront amy one way or another lmao that girl deserves it, they deserve a Heather & Lindsay Confrontation, sammy deserves to call amy a bitch on international television

ooooh and somehow scarlett finds out?? and tries to get her hands on the technology, but obv time is finicky so dave and sammy can't rlly allow that so they gotta stop her as a joint agenda while they have their own separate ones to deal with?? so this paves way for a true scarlett villain?? she'd make it to the final five or three, i think?

for this idea, there are gonna be multiple povs--dave and sammy's--and it's gonna be multi-plot too; dave and his conflict; sammy and her conflict; and how both alter the season bc of said conflicts and their attitudes abt them; plus the scarlett conflict

(y'know what i may end up going this route lmao bc i love both separate versions and im indecisive as fuck so my motto is if you can combine the options do it!)