#how is quite literally perfe

[nex-has-gender-envy]

So like did somebody order Miragex Noah symbiote au (transformers symbiotes au )

Mirages ego's so big that he's the only symbiote that can project hallucinations of his full form to it's host. That results into Noah interacting with nothing, not just talking to himself like Eddie Brock.

[reinemichele]

⚠ Flashing lights warning

Translation here

A shooting star cut through the city’s night sky. You can see it, across from the two of us: The Christmas lights, grown so rich and ripe that They look like they could melt the downtown district covered in ice Innocent friends, a white breath A nail polish I don’t normally wear “You’ve got small hands, huh?” you said, grabbing my hand At that moment, you became a "guy" Love is Creating a low-temperature burn inside my chest When I realize it, it’s already too late May time stop in its tracks—hold me tight Forever and ever It looks like you’ve Been giving me a low-temperature burn— I’ve started being unusually focused on fashion… I want us to stay like this, and have you whisk me away Somewhere far and unknown… It’s like I’ve been trapped In the bottom of a glass bottle— A thick, invisible distance of love. Even if I trace the outline of the city covered in condensation Everything remains vague A world of silvery snow, wonderful, curious, sad It seems like you’re going snowboarding next week Boys are nimble and carefree, aren’t they? I kind of hate you a little Love is Creating a low-temperature burn inside my chest That passionate gaze that’s looking away from me— How many joules is it? To be honest, I want you to Love only me, more and more It looks like you’ve been giving me a low-temperature burn— I want to pinch that cheek of yours just a little… This is just my own selfish thought, but I want you to bring me along “My heart is scorching…���

[distantdarlings]

HAVE ME // t. nott

RATING: R / 4.8K WORDS

Theodore Nott x Fem Reader Insert

+ SUMMARY - *Requested, based on this* When you are paired with Cormac McClaggen for a mid-semester project, he takes it as an opportunity to shoot his shot. However, despite your numerous rejections, he doesn't seem to want to let up. That is until Theo gets involved.

+ WARNINGS - SMUT, depictions of violence (a small fight, specifically), blood described very briefly, Cormac is hitting on reader and won't leave them alone, language, oral sex (perf. on reader), kissing, dom!Theo, fem reader, not proof-read

+ MUSIC (listened to while writing) -

Hotel - Montell Fish

---

The chatter around the classroom slowly dwindled as Professor Snape silently slipped through the door of his office. Everyone was waiting patiently for the results of his decision from yesterday. He mentioned that the mid-semester project would be partnered rather than solo. To you, that was bad news, but to others in the class, it was good. You worked best when you didn’t have to sort out the ideas getting bounced around aloud. But if you had to work with a partner, please let it be someone halfway decent.

“So,” Snape starts, “I have here the list of partners for the mid-semester project. As a reminder, you will be handling very toxic materials, so for the sake of all of our time, be careful with them.” His expression hinted at boredom, despite the unfortunate things he was referencing. Last year, someone nearly lost a hand with this project, and—to be quite honest—that was one of the reasons you were so excited about it. You liked the challenge and, even better, overcoming it. But you couldn’t do that with a shitty partner. Your fingers crossed beneath your open notebook.

“Malfoy with Weasley, Berkshire with Granger,” he began listing the names. Your hips shifted uncomfortably. He was pairing everyone with the opposite house. Surely he’d grant you some mercy with how well you’d been doing in this class?

“—Nott with Finnigan—” Your thoughts were briefly interrupted as Theodore’s name was called. That was an interesting pairing; however, you knew that Potions was one of Theo’s strong suits, and, granted they worked well together, the both of them would successfully keep their eyebrows intact. 

Your eyes found the older boy, tracing over every line on his face. You were friends, pretty good friends. His whole group of Slytherins were friendly with you, really. But there was something about him that had shocked you to your core from the first night you’d met him and started chatting at the Sorting ceremony when the both of you were eleven. He was quite literally one of the most attractive people you’d ever seen, and it seemed like he knew it too. The way he held himself down to the way he communicated with people, he just knew he was alarmingly alluring. 

He had a way of staring right into your eyes when you spoke to him, almost to the point it felt as if he was reading your mind. No matter what, he’d give you his full attention, even more so than his other friends, it seemed. Maybe you had always imagined it, but if you called his name, he was there. He would be waiting with his ear next to your lips, eager to hear what you had to say, no matter how you were feeling. Perhaps it was cliche, but you felt as though you could tell him anything, and you did. 

His eyes found yours suddenly. His lips parted into a crooked smile, his dazzling white teeth peeking through slightly. You returned the action, raising your eyebrows in an amused fashion at his partner for the project. He shrugged, the smile never leaving his face. He pointed at you and mouthed, ‘You’re coming up.’ You rolled your eyes and laughed silently as you brushed him off. You were laughing, but, in all seriousness, this wasn’t a comedic matter. Your Potions grade was potentially on the chopping block here, and you were getting nervous. Snape didn’t grade depending on who did what; he simply graded on the project's legitimacy. You could do this by yourself, but if whomever your partner ended up being fucks it up, you both were screwed. And, on top of it all, you would have to work with a Gryffindor, someone you likely barely knew. Perfect. 

Your name perked your ears as Snape paused for a moment, trying to decipher his own handwriting. Merlin, was he trying to tease you? You glanced around, wondering who hadn’t been selected yet. You hadn’t been paying attention. “Ah! With McClaggen.”

Your heart sank. You turned to glance over your shoulder at the showy Gryffindor sitting in the back corner of the classroom. He sent a wink and a small smirk your way, to which you replied by quickly turning back around. Did the universe hate you? It must. That was the only answer. Shit.

“Get to work,” he instructed, returning to his office and firmly shutting the door behind him. You weighed out the options in your head on how angry Snape would be if you asked to switch partners. You were sure he picked them for a reason…or maybe he didn’t? Merlin, help. Should you even bother with this? Maybe you could convince McClaggen to let you do all the work. He could sit patiently by and be quiet.

The classroom bustled gently as students were standing and finding their partners. Small groans echoed as everyone paired up. Apparently, you weren’t the only one that disliked your partner. Usually, you wouldn’t have expected Professor Snape to have paired Gryffindors with Slytherins. Who knew? Maybe he was trying something new.

You hid a wince and got to your feet. You collected your notebook and school bag and made your way over to the smirking boy. His hands were placed cockily behind his head, and one leg rested, crossed over the other. He maximalized every bit of space he took up, like a peacock. You repressed a groan and sat down in the seat next to him, neatly spreading your things out. 

“Well, hello,” he cooed. “I don’t think I’ve spoken with you before.”

“I don’t think so either,” you chuckled nervously, eyes finding the back of Theo’s head. He sat towards the front of the classroom, partnered with the clumsy Gryffindor. You wondered if he was having the same doubts you were. As if on beat, his head turned and made eye contact with you. He hid a smile at your current predicament and gave you a small wave with his fingers. You rolled your eyes and, with the hand farthest from McClaggen, pretended to choke yourself with it. Theo laughed aloud before turning back around when his partner tapped his shoulder.

“What’s so funny?” your partner asked, quirking an eyebrow. 

“Nothing,” you smiled, “how about we get started?”

Most of the class period was spent discussing the potion the two of you wanted to brew. The assignment was to pick one of the most difficult potions to brew and to make and document the experience successfully. All of the potions you were to choose from were in the very last chapter of your textbook, and the two of you flipped through the pages, unsure. 

Every so often, Cormac (you’d learned his first name was) would point at something on one of the pages and scoot ever so closer to you. He was so close now you could smell the peppermint candy he swished around his mouth. His arm rested alongside the back of your chair, and you were…immensely uncomfortable. Your back straightened so as not to come into contact with his arm. 

Throughout this whole experience, you’d glance Theo looking back at the two of you every so often and wonder if you could signal him to distract the boy. It wasn’t that you felt threatened; you just wish he’d back the hell up. If you had a personal bubble, it had long since combusted. His face was so close to yours, and no matter how far you leaned away, he’d get closer. Finally, you’d had enough.

“Cormac,” you laughed nervously. You placed one hand on his chest and slowly pushed him back toward his own seat. 

“What is it?” he asked. No matter what you did, that stupid smirk never failed.

“You are very close to me,” you explained, trying to remain as polite as possible. He shrugged and chuckled a bit, gaining on some of the space you’d placed between the two of you. 

“Well, that’s because I want to get closer to you,” he said. 

“Uh, no,” you tittered, “that’s okay. Let’s just do the project.” You tapped the textbook and pretended to immerse yourself back in the information, hoping he’d let it lie. He didn’t. His arm wrapped back around your chair, and your eyes slipped close in exasperation. 

“Cormac, please—”

“What? Don’t you want to get to know each other before we do a project together?” he asked, scooting closer yet again.

“No, I really don’t. I just want to get this done.” His face resumed its previous proximity to yours. He smirked at the closeness and you sighed, turning your face away from his, begging Theo to glance back again.

“Oh, I see…is he your boyfriend?” Cormac asked. Your face shot back to his.

“What? No! He’s just a friend,” you said.

“That was a very quick, rushed answer,” he laughed, “but if you say so, that’s even better for me—”

“Please, let’s just do the assignment,” you pleaded, “I’m really not interested.”

“Not even for a trip to Hogsmeade?”

“No, not really, you’re not my type.” You glanced back at Theo. He was finally looking back. Only this time, his eyes were locked on the boy beside you, with his face so close to yours. His eyes gleamed blood red, and his jaw clenched tightly. Your eyebrows furrowed, begging him to intervene somehow. If Cormac wasn’t too embarrassed to shoot his shot in the middle of class, surrounded by his peers, you were almost positive he’d continue to harass you outside of the classroom. Maybe even when the two of you were alone, and he might not let up at that point.

“What is your type?” he asked. “Brooding assholes in Slytherin?” He said this part a bit louder, making direct eye contact with Theo. You could feel the tension building slightly, and did your best to diffuse the situation. You partially blocked their gaze of each other.

“Please don’t say that about him.”

“I thought you said he wasn’t your boyfriend. Why are you defending him?”

“He’s not my boyfriend, but he is my friend, and I’d like you not to call him names,” you spoke sternly, eyes hardening on the boy. He was plucking the last strings of your patience. 

“Fine, I will—” you nodded at his promise “—if you let me take you to dinner.”

The bell signalling the end of class interrupted the conversation. Thank Merlin. You quickly gathered your things together and shoved them into your bag, praying he’d just drop the subject and let you move on with your day. You’d figure out a way to deal with him later. For right now, you just wanted to get your free period started as soon as possible. He stood right when you did. You ignored him and made for the exit, walking as quickly as looked natural.

You were the first out of the classroom and down the hall, trying your best to get away from him without completely abandoning Theo. A hand grabbed your shoulder, stopping you in your tracks. It roughly spun you around, yanking a yelp from your throat. You stood before Cormac, who had a sinister look on his face. 

“You never answered me,” he said. “Let me take you to dinner…”

“No, Cormac, I don’t want to go,” you said, attempting to wrestle yourself out of his iron grip. What about your thousand answers was he not grasping? 

“Let go of me.” His hand did not release you, and it did not seem like he intended to, either. You slipped your hand between his and your shoulder, trying to edge it off. He made a sound of endearment before attempting to slide a hand around your hips. You squealed and squirmed away from him, trying to prevent him from wrapping his arms farther around you.

“Hey!” A voice shouted. The both of you began to turn, but before Cormac could get his head fully pivoted, a hand appeared on his shoulder and yanked him away from you. It was Theo, and he appeared to be fuming. His jaw was tightly clenched, and his eyes were wild.

“The fuck do you think you’re doing, McClaggen?” he demanded. “She said no, you dick!”

“I don’t see how it’s any of your business. She said you weren’t her boyfriend,” the younger laughed meanly, poking him roughly in the chest. You winced at the contact. 

“Don’t fucking touch me,” he hissed, pushing the boy back from him. Cormac stumbled a few steps before regaining his footing. It appeared he was as surprised as everyone else was at the sudden hostility. Cormac laughed cockily. 

He raised a hand and swung his fist at Theo as hard as he could, getting a good hit in. Theo’s head jerked to the side from the force of the punch, and you gasped sharply, hands shooting to cover your mouth in shock. Natural instincts told you to jump back, but you rushed toward Theo, who pushed you back gently behind him, squeezing your arm firmly. It didn’t hurt, but you knew it meant to stay put. 

“Come on, Slytherin!” Cormac shouted. “Show me what your reject house is made of!”

A crowd of other students had begun to gather around the two boys, curious to see what all of the commotion was. Adrenaline pumped through your veins like ice water as you watched Theo approach the other boy, cocking his arms and wringing any stiffness out of them. 

Before you could feel the exhalation of breath leave your body, Theo swung his arm at the boy, cracking him hard across the jaw. As if in slow motion, Cormac fell back and hit the ground with a hard thud. You imagined his tailbone would be quite bruised tomorrow morning. 

Theo fell down on top of the boy, legs resting on either side of his hips, and wailed on him. Fist after fist hit the boy’s face, pushing more and more blood out of him. You screamed in shock as you realized Theo had no intention of stopping. Around the same time you did, everyone else did too. They began throwing shouts of concern and pressing in on the two boys. Everybody loved a good fight now and then but nobody wanted to see someone get killed. 

Yet, nobody put their hands on Theo for fear of being in the same predicament as Cormac currently was. That was, until Enzo and Mattheo ran up behind the crowd. You heard them ask if that was Theo.

“Enzo!” you shouted his name, waving over the crowd. His eyes quickly found yours and in seeing the distress on your face, began weaving through the crowd. Mattheo quickly followed suit. 

When they breached the barrier of the crowd, their eyes widened, and they made for their friend. They grabbed his shoulders and pulled him away from the poor boy, his face a mangled mess. You looked away quickly, not wanting to see the damage that had been done in your favor.

Once pulled away, a gathering of students ran over to Cormac and covered him with a wall of their protection, trying to see if they could help him somehow. You turned to Theo, who was breathing heavily, a single dripping of blood pouring from his nose. You turned to the bottom of your uniform shirt, found the edge of the seam, and tore a small section of it. You could get a replacement sometime later.

You approached the boy with a murderous gaze and gently pressed the piece of shirt beneath his nose. He flinched slightly but never looked away from Cormac. Maybe that hadn’t been for you, and he’d just wanted to beat Cormac’s ass—which is understandable, but still. You weren’t totally sure why he did it.

“Theo?” you spoke gently. His glare didn’t waver. The fingers pressing the material against his bloodied nose tilted his face carefully to look at you. His eyes found yours, softening slightly. 

“I’m sorry,” he breathed, his chest heaving. “I couldn’t stand him touching you like that.”

“It’s okay,” you reassured. He didn’t seem convinced. How he looked at you with such concern and worry made you wonder if he thought you were mad at him. You shook your head at the question running through your mind. Obviously, he didn’t know what you had been thinking, but you hoped he’d understand somehow. 

You helped Enzo and Mattheo pull him to his feet and escort him away from the crowd before any of the professors showed up. Speaking of which, they likely should have been out here by now. 

As you helped the boys guide Theo toward the Slytherin common room, you were careful to avoid any obvious eyes that raced past them to see what the aftermath of the commotion was. Hopefully, nobody would notice them and they could deal with the whole situation later. The group turned the corner and stopped before the entrance to the dorm room. Enzo announced the password, and the lot of you headed inside, pulling Theo up the stairs and into the boys’ dorm room. He pulled away from them suddenly and sat on his bed.

“Alright, alright, I’m okay!” he declared. “I just got a sock to the jaw; my legs weren’t broken.”

“They’re just trying to help, Teddy,” you whispered, trying to place the cloth back on his nose that had started up its intermittent spurting again. He sighed and gently grabbed your wrist, holding it away from his face. He was never rough with you, despite how angry he was.

“I’m fine, I’m just wound up, I don’t need any of you to—”

“Nonsense,” you interrupted him. “Mattheo, Enzo, would the two of you mind running down to the hospital wing and asking Madam Pomfrey if she has anything to stop the bleeding. It’s not excessive, but it’s messy.”

“Is there not a spell or something like that?” Mattheo asked, clearly concerned for his friend.

“Not one that I know off the top of my head. Would you just go ask her, please?” you repeated yourself. The two boys seemed to hesitate but eventually worked their way out of the room with their destination in mind. Once they were gone, your eyes turned back to Theo’s. An amused glint lay suspended in his eyes.

“‘Nothing that comes to mind?’” he smirks. “If a spell comes to my mind and not yours, the world must be upside down.” You conceal a laugh. You knew a spell. You knew multiple healing spells, but you wanted Mattheo and Enzo out of the room for a second. You just wanted to speak with Theo about what had happened. 

“I’m sorry I lied to your friends,” you said. “But I really wanted to talk with you privately, and I didn’t want to wait.” His eyes keep a tight hold on yours. You swallow thickly. 

“Okay, what is it?” he asks, his voice barely above a whisper. 

Anxiety pools in your stomach as you realize you hadn’t really planned anything to say. You wanted to know why Theo had done what he did and if it was for or because of you. Cormac had been bothering you, yes, but it could have just been that Theo really disliked him and wanted to intervene. 

“Why did you do that?” you ask. Probably the worst way you could have asked that, but it was what came out. You might as well own it at this point. 

“Do what?” he mused.

“Why did you stop Cormac?”

“That feels like a dumb question. He was laying his hands on you without your permission.”

“Would you have done that for anyone, though?” you stuttered through your interrogation.

“I suppose not….why do you ask?” he asked, the smirk never leaving his face. Your eyes fell down to his lips suddenly, noticing that there was a small amount of dried blood stained across them. A small gasp left your lips as you reached your hand out. You didn’t think through any of the following movements; you just allowed your body to do as it pleased. Your fingers gently cradled his jaw, and your thumb swiped slowly over his lips, collecting the bit of staining as it crossed. Your eyes found him again, and you realized he was intently watching you. His eyes were softened by hunger. The way they traveled down to your lips, his lips parting as he found yours, his hands clenching by his side. It sent a chill down your spine. 

“Theo,” you breathed. You could not pull your eyes away from his swollen lips. You wanted so badly to learn their taste and memorize it for eternity. Just one kiss and you could be satisfied for the rest of your days. 

“I kicked Cormac’s ass because he was laying his hands on you, and I have been desperate to do that for years…,” he whispered. “The difference between him and I, though? I ask permission.” A glimpse of a chuckle spreads over his lips, and you feel your stomach blush with heat. As if he could feel it happen to you, his nose bumped softly against yours, igniting the heat and transforming it into a flame. 

“I want you so bad,” he whispered, the air skimming your lips. “Please let me have you.”

“Have me, Teddy.” Your response was final. His hands gripped each side of your face firmly and pressed your lips together. Heat and light and everything in between exploded into your stomach, sending shocks of love into your heart. You could have melted on the spot, and you nearly did, if it weren’t for Theo wrapping one arm tightly around your waist and holding you up.

His tongue slid over your bottom lip, begging for entrance. You granted him access to every part of you with no push-back. All you wanted was to feel him everywhere and never to lose that feeling ever again. 

The both of his hands pushed around the back of your thighs and pulled them to either side of his bent knees. He settled you neatly onto his lap, you straddling his thighs against the bed. The action sent a lightning bolt of pleasure directly to your core as the space between his thighs urged gently against you. You sighed against his mouth, entangling your fingers into his hair. 

Everything about him was overwhelming. His smell, his taste, and his touch had you gasping for air. You had never realized how much you truly wanted him until this very moment. Without so much as a breath, he cradled your back with one hand and stood from his bed, lifting the two of you into the air. You squeaked from the sudden movement but relaxed instantly when he settled you against his bed. 

His lips detached from yours and quickly made alliance with your jaw and then your neck. His head worked down the frame of your body, pressing open-mouthed kisses to every sliver of skin he could find. When he reached the waistline of your uniform skirt, he tapped his finger twice against the spot where your shirt was tucked in. You nodded so quickly, it was almost pathetic. He smirked and slipped his hands between the materials. He tugged your shirt out and began laying the same types of kisses over your bare stomach. You groaned at the feeling, noticing the ardor he placed into each press of his lips. You felt worshipped and it was addicting.

His eyes flicked up to find yours as he slowly pushed himself farther down, placing himself just in front of your core. Without question, your legs began to spread for him, allowing him access to anything he wanted. You just needed to feel him; you didn’t care what he did. 

Your eyes found his face once more and scanned over the entirety of it. A deep, sinister glance rested in his eyes, holstering a lust so dark, it almost frightened you. His lips were slightly parted in a teasing, smirking way, just waiting to place themselves against you once more. And his nose had…oh, it had begun to bleed again. You reached down and swiped your thumb beneath it, pushing the excess discharge away. A small twinge of guilt hit you again at the thought of Theo getting himself hurt for you.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered, frowning at the sight before you.

“You never have to apologize to me,” he breathed, “you are perfect.” And with that, he’d flipped the edge of your skirt over your legs and sunk his face between them. His tongue found your core before you could even get a word out. A breathless moan spilled from your lips as your spine arched off the bed. Your hands immediately pushed down to wrap themselves in his curls, savoring every single swipe of his tongue. 

“So fucking good,” he moaned against you, the vibrations sending messages up to your very brain. You quaked beneath the feeling, your thighs shaking against the boy’s hold on them. It was nearly becoming too much. You weren’t going to last much longer. If he wanted to do something, he’d better get to it.

“Theo, I’m…c—”

“Not yet, baby,” he whispered, pressing two chaste kisses to the inside of your thighs. You could feel the wetness spread across his lips and chin smear against your flesh. You shuddered at the sensation. It definitely should not have turned you on as much as it just did. “I want it on my tongue.”

He separates himself from you and slides his hands beneath the crook of your knees. With a firm grip, he yanks you to the edge of the bed, where your hips are lying just over the curve. His hands find your hips and flip you over onto your stomach, careful to avoid hurting you in any way. Ever so gentle.

You could hear him kneel down again behind you. Your thighs shook in anticipation just before he pressed his lips back to you. His tongue swirled across you in the most delicate of motions, drawing every sound possible from your lips. Your fingers gripped the sheets as each of his movements drew you closer to the edge. You might finish any second. 

“Hey-o!” Mattheo’s voice came from just outside the door. You jumped up and glanced back at Theo as the both of you separated as fast as possible. Theo came up to sit beside you on the bed and made quick work of wiping his mouth off on his sleeve. You pulled your skirt back over your legs and stood at attention, waiting for the two boys to enter. Damn it. You had been so close. 

The two boys walked in, clutching a small vial of liquid. Mattheo raised it to show the two of them, both of whom quickly nodded, smiling innocently. Surely, they wouldn’t suspect anything of the two of you. You’d never really expressed any feelings toward the other before now. At least not publicly.

“Where do you want this?” Mattheo asked.

“If you would just take it to the bathroom, we’re headed in there so they can help me clean up the rest of the way.” Both of the other boys nodded and headed back out the way they came, moving toward the group bathroom. 

Just as they left, Theo slipped his hand beneath your skirt and traced his fingers along you, allowing one to insert itself to its hilt. You gasped sharply, trying your best to mute the sound. His hand began to pump against you, slowly rising in speed as he hit that perfect spot each time with ease. The sounds spilling from your lips became less and less controlled as he pushed you towards the edge, keeping you standing tall and refusing to let you lay back down on the bed.

“Come like this, baby,” he whispered. “Quickly, before they get back.” His finger pressed deeply up into you one last time, bruising the soft spot and forcing a rushing finish down on you. Your lips parted in a shocked moan as the proof of your end slipped down around Theo’s fingers. He worked you through the entirety of it, never tiring and never halting. He could do this all day. 

The sound of his friends heading back toward the dorm room pushed the two of you apart once again. Only this time, Theo had a telling, lustful expression imprinted on his face, and the remains of your ecstasy were still painted across his fingers. You swiped a hand between your thighs in an attempt to clean yourself off and brushed any concerns from Mattheo or Enzo off. The ‘Are you okay?’ and the ‘You guys look weird’ had nothing on the steel resolve the both of you kept planted on your faces. If Theo could fight someone for you, you could fight the urge to tell his friends he’d just let you fuck his face while they were out running an errand. Oh well, such is life. You laughed to yourself. 

[sematarygirls]

 📖 ─── a cluttered scrapbook: send in any thoughts on any of the characters below for a blurb .ᐟ

omg hello congratulations??? literally love your blog sm. you’re writing is peak and so perf. i was thinking, we all know rafe is a “proactive” type of person (or so he says). so how would he react to reader giving him the silent treatment after she found out something? (maybe he was doing cocaine again after she explicitly asked him not to anymore???) and what antics would he use to get reader talking to him??

once again, congratulations to you. you deserve so much!!! so proud of you <3333

thank you so much !! i'm so sorry it took so long to get to this </3

cw: dark rafe, manipulation, controlling behavior, threats of self harm

Rafe hates the silent treatment. It feels like a slap in the face. After everything he's done for you, you can't even give him the basic respect of talking things out?

He had done a great job of hiding his ongoing cocaine addiction after you'd threatened to break up with him if he didn't stop. He absolutely couldn't stand ultimatums, being backed into a corner, but he also couldn't lose you, so he promised he would quit and get clean, even pretending to go off to a rehab facility for a month—during which he was actually going on a month-long bender in a fancy hotel up in California.

And his lies had worked. For months, he hid his addiction, leading you to believe that he was finally clean and that he had done it for you.

But then, you dropped your phone one night at his house, and it had found its way under his bed. Leaning down to retrieve it, you pushed up the bottom of his comforter and found yourself greeted by the sight of a wooden box you'd seen before—the very one you had watched Rafe throw away before he went off to "rehab".

With shaky hands, you opened the box and found yourself staring at a baggie of white powder, a substance you knew all too well.

"What are you doing?" Rafe's voice came from the doorway, sharp and defensive. He knew he had been caught, but his mind was already swirling with blame for you rather than accepting the consequences of his own actions. Why were you snooping around his room? Did you not trust him?

You looked up at him, your mind running a million miles a minute as a plethora of emotions overwhelmed you at once. You didn't want to talk to him. You could barely even stomach looking at him right now, so without a word, you grabbed your phone from where it had fallen and stood up abruptly.

He caught your arm as you tried to leave. "Oh, we're doing this now? Real mature," he scoffed at your behavior. You were being dramatic, childish even, by subjecting him to the silent treatment instead of trying to talk this out like adults.

You simply pulled your arm back from him roughly, not meeting his gaze as you pushed past him and hurried down the stairs. He should've followed you, but his pride and ego stopped him. You would come crawling back, apologizing for how you acted. He was sure of it.

But, you didn't. Days went by without a word, and he started to get antsy, started to spiral as paranoia overtook him. You were his. How dare you ignore him? Were you off with another guy? Were you with your awful Pogue friends? He couldn't stand not knowing where you were and having you with him every minute.

At first, he tried to manipulate his way out of it by feigning an apology and ending it with a guilt trip, texting you things like "Okay, I messed up, but you just shutting me out? That's fucked up. Just talk to me, baby," and "It's not like I was doing it all the time. I mean, cmon, are you really gonna throw everything away over this? It's nothing."

When you refused to be won over so easily, seeing right through his tactics, he would start showing up wherever you were—home, work, the beach, anywhere you were, he was there too, desperately trying to intimidate you into talking to him with his piercing gaze and menacing stance.

He would corner you, trying to force a reaction out of you. "So what, you're just going to act like I don't exist?" He'd ask harshly before softening, brushing a strand of hair from your face, his knuckle lightly grazing your cheek as he did. "C'mon, baby, I know you miss me, miss us." He could see the resolve in your eyes crumbling and it made him feel powerful and triumphant, but before you opened your mouth to speak, Kiara swept in, grabbing your arm and tugging you away from Rafe as she shot a glare in his direction.

This infuriated Rafe. Typical Pogue, always sticking their nose where it doesn't belong and fucking up his life.

From there, he attempted sending you expensive gifts with notes like "Just talk to me, baby. Let me fix this," and when that didn't work, he turned to threats, saying he would hurt himself or you if you didn't hear him out.

Finally, he showed up to your house in the middle of the night, his eyes bloodshot and puffy, pupils dilated. You hesitated but decided to open the door, and when you did, you felt guilty for ignoring him for so long. He looked absolutely wrecked like he hadn't eaten or slept in days. He was clenching and unclenching his jaw, leaning against the doorframe and peering down at you. His presence was heavy, the air thick with tension as neither of you spoke.

"Let me in," he demanded. His fingers twitched at his sides before he rubbed them over his jaw. "I just—fuck, I don’t even know what to do anymore, baby." His large frame blocked the doorway, making you feel small as his eyes darted wildly. You felt a mix of guilt and fear stir in your stomach. "You’re just gonna keep pretending I don’t exist? Really?" His voice dropped lower, rougher. "’Cause if you don’t talk to me now, I swear to God, I’ll—" He stopped himself, his jaw clenching as he stared at you with hardened eyes, the threat clear. You knew he meant it.

"Rafe..." You said quietly, your voice trembling slightly as you looked up at him with wide eyes, feeling like you were looking at someone you didn't recognize.

His lips quirked up in a way that sent a shiver down your spine. “That’s all I needed, baby. Just needed to hear your voice," he whispered, stepping forward to invade your space and force you backward so he could come inside. "Y'know, I'd do anything for you, right?" He asked, the question rhetorical as he reached out to grip your jaw, forcing you to look at him. "I’ve been losing my fucking mind without you. I won't lose you. I can't lose you, alright? I-I need you. You're mine, you got that? You can't just walk away. You can't just ignore me. I won't let you."

[nana-mania]

"PAIN FORGET?" he helps you forget your pain..

╰┈➤: ̗̀➛ oneshot

࿐*ೃ feat : mr. chopped

࿐*ೃ fandom : homicipher

࿐*ೃ extra : fem! reader, fluff to nsfw

࿐*ೃ trigger warning : nsfw content ahead!

╰┈➤: ̗̀➛ THE weight on your stomach woke you, along with the faint sensation of something wet trickling through your shirt. Groggy from days of fever, you blinked away your sleepiness. Your throat ached, and your limbs felt like lead, but none of that mattered when you opened your eyes and found yourself face-to-face with a familiar sight.

Mr. Chopped was set on your tummy, his round head tilted forward, and—oh. He was crying. Actual tears streamed down his cheeks, his hair slightly dishevelled, as though he'd been too distraught to fix it before coming here.

“Ah-” he wailed dramatically, his voice high-pitched as if relieved. “You wake—” His lips trembled, and he broke into loud, theatrical sobs. “Miss you!”

“Mr. Chopped?” Your voice came out hoarse. You reached up to rub your eyes, as though that might make the absurd sight before you make more sense. But no—he was still there, his tiny form as vibrant and unsettling as ever. “How...you come up?”

Instead of answering, he scooted closer—well, as much as a head sitting on your stomach could scoot—and nudged his face against your hand. His skin was cool to the touch, smooth but eerily lifelike, and the sensation made you shiver. “You left me!” he accused, voice muffled by another sniffle. “Gone long. Me worried..”

“I—I was sick,” you croaked, still processing the situation. Your hand instinctively moved to cradle his face, lifting him from your stomach. “I’m sorry. Never want worry you.”

His eyes gleamed with tears as he stared up at you. “I cried, a lot. Many nights. Miss you so much.” He sniffled again, dramatic as ever, and buried his face in your chest.

You hesitated for a moment before hugging him close. The weight of his head in your arms was bizarre—heavy, yet not quite solid. His hair tickled your chin as you murmured, “I’m here now. I’m fine.”

“Don't leave again. Me sad.” he demanded, pulling back just enough to glare at you.

“I promise,” you said softly, stroking his hair to soothe him. “Me won't leave you. But.. how you come here?”

He sniffed, then brightened. “White hair help.” He grinned proudly, the motion somehow unsettling without a neck to support it. “He kind. Ask me, take care of you.”

“Mr. Silvair?” You smiled. You forgot how oddly close these two were.

“No more white hair. Me, only me here!” Mr. Chopped interrupted, puffing up his cheeks since you were smiling while thinking of Mr. Silvair.

You bit back a laugh at his sudden shift in mood. “Why? Jealous?”

“Yes. I want comfort from you.”

Smiling despite yourself, you brushed your thumb against his cheek. His skin felt startlingly real. “Alright, Mr. Chopped. How make you happy?”

His eyes widened, glinting with childlike delight. “Oh, oh!” He leaned in, practically pressing his face to yours. “Head pets, kisses, carry me— anything!”

You laughed. “Demanding as always.” Though, you couldn’t help but oblige, pulling him close once more. His hair was soft beneath your fingers, a startling contrast to the macabre reality of his existence. You pressed a gentle kiss to his forehead, murmuring, “Sorry for worry you.”

For a moment, he melted against you, his eyes fluttering shut in bliss. But then he wriggled again, his lips pulling into a pout. “Not enough. More, more.”

You blinked, caught off guard. “What more?”

He huffed, his cheeks puffing out. "Kiss - Here.” He tilted his head—literally—toward you, puckering up his lips.

You hesitated, unsure whether to laugh or sigh. But the earnestness in his gaze—however absurd—made your decision for you. With a soft chuckle, you leaned forward and pressed a light kiss to his lips. They were unexpectedly warm, softer than you expected, and the sensation left you both amused and slightly flustered.

When you pulled back, his entire face was flushed, his eyes wide with giddy delight. “Perfect! Me, so happy!” he squealed.

“I'm glad,” you said, watching him affectionately.

You set Mr. Chopped down back to your lap, grinning from ear to ear. “You feel better?" The question caught you off guard, his inquisitive gaze locking onto yours.

You nodded, but a wry smile tugged at your lips. “Still tired, though.” 

He stayed quiet for a moment, his expression shifting as if deep in thought. Then, out of nowhere, a mischievous smirk curled onto his lips—a grin that sent a jolt of both intrigue and caution through you. 

“Me, can help. Pain forget.” he declared, his tone playful yet laced with an odd seriousness that made you raise an eyebrow. 

“Forget...?” you echoed, blinking at him. “What do you mean?” 

His smirk widened, and he shifted in your lap, his round frame wobbling slightly as he leaned closer. “Trust me.” His voice was sing-song, a hint of giddiness creeping into it. “Spread legs.” 

The request made you freeze, heat rushing to your cheeks. “What?” 

“You heard!” he chirped, tilting his head with an almost innocent air, though his grin betrayed him. “Spread legs. Trust.” 

Caught between embarrassment and curiosity, you could guess what he was planning but kept quiet. Finally, with a shy nod, you shifted on the bed, moving your legs slightly apart. 

“There,” you said. “But...what are you—” 

He had positioned himself between your legs so his face was directly in front of you; your heat especially. His grin widened. 

“You trust me,” he said, his tone oddly sweet. “Good. Now...relax.” 

Your pulse quickened as you watched him. Mr. Chopped ripped apart your panties with his teeth, eating the fabric in process. You gasped when the cold air brushed against your sensitive folds.

"Ah- hah-" you covered your mouth in embarrassment as you felt a tongue caressing your clit. Tilting your head up, you stared at the ceiling, face heating up. 

Mr. Chopped was too curious and adventurous for his own good. The first time he discovered he could pleasure you despite lacking a body, he took every chance he could to fulfill his sinful desire.

"Mhm," the noise escaped your mouth, fingers tangling in his locks. He chuckled, enjoying the noise you made because of him. He nibbled on your clit, making you bit back a moan.

"Taste good," Mr. Chopped murmured in fascination. "You taste good. Want taste you everyday."

"Everyday is a bit-- Oh, God." You were unable to finish your sentence as his tongue already entered your wet folds, your slick walls clenching around him. He hummed when you bucked up your hips, desperate for more from him.

"Please, I can't." You begged, tears rolling down your face. "More, more."

The wet sounds of him eating you out echoed in the room, so loud that it turned you on, making it harder for you to control yourself. You could feel the climax nearing close. Gripping his hair, you moaned loudly before experiencing your release, fluid oozing out of you.

Mr. Chopped hummed in delightfulness, drinking your fluid to his heart's content (as if he had one). He pulled out his tongue, giving your clit one quick kiss before he tilted his head up, staring at you with his cute eyes.

"Pain forget?" He asked excitedly, like a puppy expecting a praise or reward. You managed a smile after you calmed down, cupping the back of his head and nodded. "Yeah, thanks."

"I'm glad!" His smile brightened, imaginary flowers floating around his head. You chuckled, ruffling his hair that was surprisingly soft and silky, despite the condition you both lived in.

"You love me?"

"Always, love you."

"Yay!"

Picking up Mr. Chopped, he nuzzled his face in your chest, blissfulness evident in the purr escaping his lips

࿐*ೃ thanks for reading this scenario! likes, interaction and reblogs are deeply appreciated ♡

[bibibbon]

Tin foil hat moment here. I do think hori sabotage his mc, Izu, but also sabotaged LoV as well. All to make the abusers look better and what is infuriating is how...he didn't even accomplish that.

Saw a post talking how LoV are a bunch of losers bc they couldn't win, even when they had all the advantages Possum aka Shig come across as pathetic (even dabi and I agree bc like what was his goal? Ok, kill himself and Endy but what was he doing to reach said goal? Was necessary be with LoV for that?)

And like we all talk about Izu defending Endy was bs, I totally agree. And it makes Izu look bad.

But you know who else looks awful? Dabi.

Yes, he is a villain and no, not every villain needs to be "this sweet guy that if you give a hug he will be a good guy" but dabi wanting to murder his entire family for no reason ...dabi now being the bad seed all along makes Endy looks bad.

And hell, even am is ruined (rich coming from someone who does call him an idiot) bc he seems to be more fond of bk and shoto, guys who have quirk, over his heir (no, not saying am is quirkcist. I'm saying he is a horrible mentor for Izu and in the end, preferred those have easy quirks to deal with ....like the am iron suit was bad, but it does feel like he sees them as better heroes and may not be intentional but ouch)

I hope I'm making sense here.

Izu and LoV were sabotaged for the sake of their abusers. Bk in the end is the hero with an agency and Izu is a teacher who people, in the fake friend class, ignored for 8 years until he is useful again.

MHA is so grim without people realizing.

I'm kind impressed. Many webcomics who want to be edgy, who show people being viciously murder on first chapter can't reach this level of dispair MHA has...and MHA is "a happy story"

Wow

Hi @mikeellee 👋

The series has a lot of mixed messaging, and this could be summed up to a lot of reasons and various factors . Yes, I feel like you can argue that one of them is the favouritism of certain characters.

The narrative treats izuku horribly but also frames it in a way where things are supposed to not look bad for izuku and that they're actually somehow good for him?!?! @lacunammmm points this out the best in their posts and how the narrative doesn't seem to properly develop izuku or give him proper consequences.

Due to this, I won't be focusing on the narrative treatment that izuku gets because I feel like many before me have done that, and I have covered it in some other posts.

Rant

But why?!?! Why make izuku lose his arms if he is going to regain them in less than a chapter? Foreshadowing? Trying to give the chara ter actual concequences except they're not long-lasting, and izuku never learns to be incredibly self-deprecating? What was the point? Also, why didn't Izuku receive some acknowledgement or canonical consequences for the way he was using his quirk and the lasting impact it must have had on his body? Like the boy was using blackwhip and actively merging it with his body molecules and muscles just to keep moving. He was quite literally controlling his body like a puppet, and there's somehow no long-lasting consequences?

Hori, this is what happens when you use your main character as a mouthpiece and essentially forget all the previous characterisation you gave him as an individual massacring your protagonist!

Now getting onto what I mostly want to talk about, and that's the League of Villains!

Horikoshi fails the league of villains multiple times and I think the most evident time is during the peak of the MVA arc when they gave access to all the resources imaginable to truly achieve their goal of destorying the status quo.

They had a good chunk of resources. Actually, they had a lot of resources that they could have used in so many ways to beat the heroes yet didn't do any of that and still failed because the plot demanded them to do so. Don't even get me started on how bad this missed opportunity is that it makes Shigaraki look like a static character who never learns how to be a good leader and develop a goal outside of just destorying things but learning that he like Stain also despises the status quo and would do anything to change it for the better even if his methods are unethical and extreme.

All of the villains in the League of Villains' goals were tied to the status quo and how they felt trapped by it or wanted to destroy it.

This idea stands for dabi as well, who joins the league for the sole purpose of wanting to destroy the status quo and make Stain's words of a world full of true heroes a reality. The messaging also stands for toga and spinner who all admire Stain as well.

In the end, the destruction of the status quo is what brought this team together even if they might be separated in what that destruction looks like and what they want from it.

Dabi is an interesting character to me that gets done dirty by horikoshi. Hot take, but I find Dabi's hatred towards his entire family interesting because it shows so much of touya in the same breath. Dabi sought the validation of his father until it killed him. He went back thinking that there was a place for him just to see with new eyes the dysfunctionality of his household, and with that, he grew to hate everything about it, even the victims of Enji's abuse. His main goal is to prove enji wrong and kill him even if it costs his life. dabi has a complicated relationship with the rest of the family, or he should have if they were well written. Before the incident, Touya had an unfavourable relationship with fuyumi most likely tainted by his mysgonsitic views towards women, which were most likely instilled in him by enji. Natsou was the only one he truly respected and liked enough to truly confide in while he slowly grew to hate shoto due to what shoto represented. A huge part of dabi's arc should have been him growing to be the opposite of enji, to hate all that enji represents and all that enji is and through that his view of his family members changes. This isn't to say that he should love all of them as I still think that there deserves to be relationships coated with hate and guilt such as dabi and fuyumi or dabi and shoto.

Dabi is a man who would have grown to hate enji and would have been an interesting contrast to fuyumi the women who wants a normal family, who wants to and has desperately tried to fit in the status quo contrasted with the man who lost everything trying to do so and now wants enji's head on a plate.

Dabi and Natsou would be a relationship filled with grief. Natsou knows touya the most and the aspects of touya are forever intertwined in his relationship with natosu. I imagine that in a desperate attempt to erase the past Dabi may try and cut natsou off most likely during his encounter with ending until he relaises that he can't and that there will always be touya in Dabi.

Dabi and shoto is as classic as it gets. The failure and the success. Two sides of the same coin that are ever so separated until they choose to bridge the gap or don't it's up to them.

Dabi and rei may be the most complex of them all to me. Especially due to the emotions it has, the guilt that caused them to go insane, the pain, the grief, the hatred, the love that they have for one another. It's all so much, and a lot of it is bitter but with a hint of hope, hope for reconciliation for the better that can only be achieved after enji's demise in the eyes of dabi.

[s4vcu]

knb, hq and bllk boys as songs from my playlist!

(a/n): random idea i got tbh but for fun! maybe some of ygs will agree w some of them..but anyways enjoy this random post!

featuring: my fav hq, bllk and knb boys (+ momoi!!)

——————————————————————————

| kageyama tobio: crybaby by SZA

you CANNNOTT tell me that you don’t see some sort of connection.

“maybe if that attitude took a backseat (mr) know it all..” - that’s all it took for me to think of him 🥲😭

| akaashi keiji: my heart it beats for you by grent perez and the most beautiful thing by bruno major

ofc for THHEEE most definite gentleman akaashi AUSGSHGAH 🥹 these songs especially remind me of him just because. no explanation needed. mac demarco songs also give off akaashi vibes but those two songs in specific for sure!!

| hajime iwaizumi: close with desires by teo glacier

close with desires reminds me of this idea of him being a second option. i rmbr i read this one fic of how the reader chooses oikawa despite reader and iwa having a unique connection w each other. quite literally the definition of “maybe right person wrong timing” lyric 💔 LIKEEE COME HERE IWA I WILL GLADLY CHOOSE U 🙁

| rensuke kunigami: calling on you by jon b and 20191009 i like her by mac demarco

CALLING ON YOU CUZ MANS IS JUST AUSGSHAGHAH. felt like love at first sight when i first saw this guy cuz DAYUMM. anyways also 20191009 i like her because this guy would MOST DEF be a great bf, i just can’t explain it. he just gives off that kinda vibe. tho i can’t rlly say the same for post wild card tho..

| seishiro nagi: nobody but you by teo glacier and blue by yung kai

nobody but you gives off that laid back kinda vibe but at the same time still hits diff cuz of its lyrics. imo it matches perf w his laid back personality and also from knowing more of his character throughout the show that makes him hit diff too! an immediate fav. lately tho, i keep thinking of him whenever i listen to blue..hence my recent work 😭✨

| rin itoshi: spread thin by mariah the scientist

the whole younger and older brother situation BRREAAKKSS me everytime, and this song somehow gives that vibe. can we agree that it needs to stop 💔 (the shinazugawa and uchiha brothers did enough damage. i didn’t ask for another, okay?..)

| oliver aiku: her old friends by pnd

LIKEE HOW, WHYY. how can u be FINEE and rank top 3 in the gentleman category but at the same time canonically be a CHEATER, a PLAYER, whatever it is..like WHYY. this song reminds me of him period. no explanation is needed. 😭💀

| daiki aomine: make it to the morning and some of your love by pnd

ACC SO FINE PERIOD. my jersey number matches his. my fav member of the gom fs 🙂‍↕️ plus those edits on tiktok w make it to the morning and him (AND ALSO KISE!!) was just WOWOOWW DAYUMMM. but anyways i’ve never not liked him and his character ever. he alr caught my eye and became an immediate fav since day 1. i associate pnd songs w bb the most so yurr

| taiga kagami: sugar by brockhampton

he honestly gives off this song esp when in the lyrics where it says “spending all my nights alone, waiting for you to call me”. it makes me think of whether this is how he would feel thinking of kuroko after leaving him behind for the nba. and prob does. SIGHH

| satsuki momoi: venus by regina song

SHE DEFF gives off this song. honestly even the cutest pair and love at first sight, BOTH by regina song too btw, would match her also. she is so me when i like smo unfortunately.. 💔💔

[underatedwords]

hello :) do you have some good carlando fics to recommend to a bored little anon? :D thy!

hi nonny 👋 i got a lil too enthusiastic abt answering this so have put the recs under a cut <3

'real love' by anon is a two part series w the hottest smut, carlos being called daddy as he deserves and still such sweet love

'i can't wait for you, boy (wake me from my dream)' by @formulacherry this is one of the first fics i read, and cherry writes the transition from friends to lovers so so well

'denial, revisited' by @formulacherry is so, so good! i love the lil refrain and lando's eagerness

'carlos.jpg' by @grandprix-ao3 love the way lando begins to see himself through carlos' eyes via the camera & no.6 is my fave

'a world alone' by @interlagosed is a series of fics that directly follow the races and are the perfect accompaniment to any race wknd

'the shadow of radiance' by @interlagosed a medieval fantasy epic w incredible world building and brilliant plot (literally anything hibi writes, I'll read 💖)

'proof' by @interlagosed is a one-shot and so tenderly deals w them becoming more than friends and how natural it is

'i never learned to call it quits' series by @landinrris (@kolyarostov) is abt how their relationship develops and eventually how they come out, spanning 2019-2024 (atm) and the development of their relationship is just perf

'maybe I'll adjust to adjusting together' by @landinrris it's abt how their relationship shifts when they're no longer teammates and is just warm and fuzzy

'sidelines' by @mediapen is abt the photo of all time and so so beautifully written & emotional

'lovely' by @phebess is a beautiful fic from lando's pov and explores how security in a relationship allows for growth, also super hot

'spirals are spinning' by @phebess is abt lando's gay awakening and the tension is expertly built

'feel a glow just thinking of you' by @the-toasted-teacake is fluff in the most comforting way, its often the last thing I'll read before sleeping

there are so many more wonderful fics but these are the ones i tend to come back to the most. we're so lucky to have so many talented writers in this fandom, and this barely scratches the surface. happy reading nonny 📚

[shellxrls]

OKAY OKAY SO SO SO!! I’m really exited rn cause I always get excited when I shift to smth for the first time but. okay. omg. right.

this man’s dick is fashioned by the highest of gods I swearrr!!!

it’s heavy. his whole package his heavy like it’s genuinely surprisingly big. I had to take a walk I swear.

it’s like 7.5 inches maybe 7.6 and it’s thick!!! He just has an insanely large dick and huge balls as well like this man is packin!!!!

quite dark in colour and he’s uncut but he keeps it clean!! he’s very serious about his personal hygiene cause he’s jst sensible like that. he literally told me off for taking too long to pee after sex and it had only been like thirty seconds let a girl live here.

dark mauve tip <33 so pretty actually the prettiest ever like omg. He will be leaking pre the moment anything starts up.

also his cum is ridiculously salty, but still tastes good cause it’s his like mmh.

he also has huge balls and like seriously he had to spend agesss stretching me out with his fingers before he could even get the tip in cause he’s jst so ughh. Perf, he’s also a bit of a safety freak. so we prob could have gone quicker but he would’ve had an aneurysm.

sits so heavy like I cannot exaggerate this enough. you can literally see the bulge though whatever pants he’s wearing, even when he’s completely soft.

like ugh. i cannot stop thinking about it. need to go back rn rn !!

crying tears from my eyes and my *****. i love big dicks sorry i like the pain and the stretch its soo .

a dick like that just makes sense for john b it’s giving me heart eyes <333.

he’s so paternal i love him so much that’s daddy frl.

UGHABDVRIC the fact that it’s big enough to see in shorts i can’t even compute i’d spend all my time just staring at it or sitting on it idk how you survived it girl.

sorry this is such a short response for such a detailed paragraph but i’m genuinely in so much awe. i NEED him so bad what the FUCK.

[cobra-creampuff]

Hey. So. I just had a thought. Totally out of the blue. What about OFMD characters as Tarot cards, huh? Whadaya think? Totally unprompted thought.

Wow, what a strange and interesting thought to have without any kind of cue at all... 🤔

Okay disclaimer. This isn't going to have everyone or tbh even most of 'em, because this post is fully brought to you by how no character has more perfectly exemplified The Hermit to me before and not much else.

Stede + The Fool

I think Stede and Ed both fit this very well (among other characters). I had a plan a while back to draw a card where Stede was The Fool upright and Ed was The Fool Reversed except instead of The Fool and The Fool Reversed it was Fuck Around and Find Out, but then I couldn't find reference pics I liked and I actually can't draw. So. But anyway. I don't feel like I need to defend this pick? Stede is at the beginning of the journey of his life and he's got a youthful energy because of that, but he's ill prepared and needs guidance!

Ed + The Devil

Fave card alert. Ed has a pretty clear "dark side" that he believes he can keep separate from his "good side" - which of course is not possible, they coexist. This dark side consists of his temper, his traumatic past, his self loathing, etc, all things brought up in The Devil. He also tries to satisfy these darker things with instant gratification type shit - drugs, sex(? metaphorical? who can say what he's been doing to Izzy or not askfjsk, but at least it was literal with Jack anyway), physical destruction, sadism, etc. He also has himself convinced he has no control or choice over his actions, that he's just evil or whatever, which this card addresses. The Devil can also represent a powerful and passionate relationship - or a codependent one, like Ed and Izzy's. And of course he also does literally just call himself the Devil straight-up. Who am I to argue.

Zheng + The Empress

I mean she has an Empire, so. A bit on the nose, but you can't beat 1:1 accuracy lmao. She also has her balancing act between tenderness and authoritarianism. She's nurturing (so far, but considering her ship is called the Red Flag I doubt that's gonna last or will be proven disingenuous soon, but anyway...) but it can't be questioned that she is the Ruler of Rulers.

Oluwande + Strength

Patience! Gentleness not from the lack of violence but despite the abundance of it! Commitment! Steadfastness! Emotional endurance! Yeah!

Ben + The Hermit

My longest yeah boi ever. A man at a remote location in nature that may or may not materially exist, there to guide a lone, lost visitor to understanding of himself in absolute spiritual solitude. I mean, there have been purgatories just like this one in fiction before, but none of them quite struck The Hermit so hard on the nail for me as Ben did.

Izzy + The Hanged Man

*ominous - and disconcertingly horny - chanting* Whipping Boy! Whipping Boy! Whipping Boy! Not just that, though, of course. As a character Izzy also represents the need to put things on pause and think them the fuck through before you do some stupidass shit. He wanted a plan, and when he didn't get one he put a screeching fucking halt to god damn everything. And then he didn't fully think through his own actions either and got fucking murdered about it lol. He also, narratively, represents a differing perspective (at least in season one) from the accepted standard, that without considering - as many """fans""" have proven lmfao - you cannot fully understand the story. Izzy is also the number one guy who would need to take The Hanged Man's advice. Give up, bud!!! It's over!!! Stop torturing yourself!!! (Don't actually though, babygirl you look so good 🫦)

Black Pete + Knight of Cups

He's so romantic... *dreamy sigh* When he's at his best, he's compassionate, understanding, emotionally available and expressive, and has such an innocent natural charm. At his less best, he's constantly talking talk he actually can't or won't back up with action. "I'm a perfect shot," he says, and then balks at being asked to shoot something mere hours later. He has an idealized, unrealistic view of himself.

Jim + Page of Wands

Like The Fool, the Page of Wands is at the beginning of their journey, but they are still deliberating about where exactly it is they want to go. Jim in particular has two clear paths they can take in becoming the person they'll be. They can take the path of revenge and ruthlessness laid out for them by Nana and Blackbeard, or they can take the path of redemption and compassion they're being invited to by Oluwande and Stede. And the only way to figure out which way to go is to look internally and discover what they truly want, and choose the path that will give them that.

Frenchie + Page of Swords

Frenchie is full of ideas and enthusiasm! But he's also very adaptable, and though he's got that youthful energy he is not necessarily lacking in awareness or experience. He's a Jack of all trades like The Magician, but without the social separation or ambition. Reversed, Page of Swords can represent repression and lack of communication, which Frenchie "Invented Compartmentalization" is clearly familiar with. It can also be about promises you can't - or have no intention to - keep, like Frenchie's murderboat First Mate duties.

We don't really need to address how BlackBonnet are The Lovers, I think. And I've already seen more than one fanart of BlackHands as Three of Swords, so I'll just mark that correct shall I? ✔️ Keep 'em coming baby.

Thank you so much for indulging me, Andie!! IDK if you're even in this fandom at all or not alsfjks, but I hope you like these answers anyway.

[cer-rata]

WIP: "Hymn To Zagreus: Chapter 3"

Lois laced her fingers and nodded sagely. “...Well, Diana, obviously we want to do anything we can to help with this.”

Diana nodded. “I appreciate that–-"

“But that’s fucked up. Like. Wow. Jesus Christ.”

Clark winced but didn’t disagree.

Diana sighed. “Yes. Yes it is, and I truly cannot express how angry I am. I mean that literally, there are very few people who I am willing to vent to. I am supposed to be an emissary of peace, so I really cannot bring up the desire to saddle up and wage war on the king of the underworld at parties. It’s unbecoming. And if I know one thing after all of these years, it’s that if I do give in, even for a moment, even if I have to, it will not be forgotten.” Diana pushed her hair out of her face and tied it back into an impressively neat ponytail. “...And I’m good at managing that. I’m good at swallowing down the base urges, the spite, the desire for revenge. I’m good at being a symbol, at fighting for an ideal. But…I am fully aware that rearing a child requires more than that. I’ve read over a hundred books on parenthood and developmental psychology in the past week and I’m still worried that I don’t quite understand my role.”

Clark sucked in his bottom lip and nodded solemnly. “That’s really the rub of it: I don’t think you can ever have a complete grasp on what you’re supposed to do as a parent. I know you hit us up because we look like we’re doing mostly okay, but I don’t think I can call myself good at being a father. Obviously Lois can speak for herself, but…there are already things I’ve said, decisions I’ve made, and things I’ve missed that keep me up at night. He’s not even thirteen yet. It’s only going to get harder.”

Diana tried to search his eyes but they were angled towards where his hands were folded on the table. “But…Jon truly seems happy and well adjusted, all things considered.”

Lois shrugged. “Sometimes, but it’s hard to say how much either of us have to do with that, really. I like answers, problems with clear solutions, and stable definitions of success. Parenting is none of that. It’s trying your best and hoping that you’re not making the biggest mistakes of your life. I don’t think you can know until they’re all grown up. But on the flipside, you only have so much influence, for good or for ill. Sometimes I wish we’d had a better initial plan, but it was sudden, we didn’t think it would ever be a thing, not like that at least. Not the same as having a preteen dropped into your arms out of the blue, but we were scrambling too. I am a bit more confident that we’re not driving off of a cliff than Clark is...but only a bit.”

Diana leaned back in her chair and looked up at the ceiling for a beat. “...I ask you this seriously, and without a desire to be coddled for the sake of my feelings: Am I being reckless? Is it selfish of me to risk causing further harm while I figure out what I’m doing? It would hurt--the both of us really--to leave him in the care of someone else…but I wouldn’t want to strangle his chances out of selfish arrogance.”

Lois snorted a surprised laugh then covered her mouth. “I’m…I’m sorry, I’m…gosh. You know most people don’t really give a shit, right? Most parents never wonder about it that much, they’re more than happy to have a smaller version of them that exists to pump up their egos.”

Clark sighed. “But there are plenty of parents who are wonderful–”

“Sure, but the vast majority suck at it. You hear it all the time. I can still tell when it bothers you, when you have to force yourself not to listen.”

He looked at his hands again. “...Well…yes. But we’re supposed to be encouraging her.”

Lois turned back to Diana. “Are you not encouraged?”

Diana frowned. “Uh. If that’s supposed to be comforting, I don’t understand–”

“The point I’m making is that most parents do a bad job, but people turn out okay anyway, they learn to deal, they work their stuff out. So having a parent who is an anal, violently self-reflective, alarming perfectionist–”

“Honey--”

“--Is probably the best-case-scenario for Jack right now. You’re going to mess something up eventually, and it’s going to be major, but you’re you, no one is going to be as on top of their game as you are, I don’t think most of us even can be. God that’s annoying. Demigods are annoying.”

Diana chuckled quietly. “Alright, I feel we’ve crossed the threshold into flattery now.”

Lois took a sip of her beer before shrugging. “Maybe so. Clark has so few hot friends that are also not agonizingly dull to talk to, I get it in where I can.”

Clark closed his eyes and shook his head, but couldn’t repress a smile. 

Diana paused, slowly looking back and forth between them as she processed what she’d just heard. “I…am glad to be considered charming company.”

Lois reached out and laid a warm, comforting hand over Diana’s. “Something like that. Listen, we’re going to spend the weekend with Clark’s folks in Smallville, and we’d be happy to have you and Jack join us. Honestly, Martha and Jonathan are probably better sources of advice, I mean look at Clark, he turned out mostly alright.”

Clark nodded. “Most of the things that are wrong with me have nothing to do with my parents.”

“See? They really beat my folks out. Plus I think it’d be nice if the boys met, I can’t imagine Jack’s seen another kid in a while.”

It was…somewhat accurate. From what Jack had told her, there had been other shades in Hades that had died at similar ages to him, but they weren’t…the most welcoming souls.

Diana weighed her options for a moment before sitting up straight again. 

“...I accept your invitation with immense gratitude.”

[nitrateglow]

Spooky Season 2024: 39-45

1408 (dir. Mikael Hafstrom, 2007)

A paranormal skeptic visits an alleged haunted hotel room. It turns out to be haunted. Moral of the story: when Samuel L. Jackson tells you a hotel room is evil, BELIEVE HIM.

1408 is emblematic of how I feel about most Stephen King anything: it's a mix of really potent, effective horror with the goofiest things I have ever seen (there's literally a scene that plays like Groucho's bit with the mirror in Duck Soup and I could not tell if it was supposed to be funny or not). It comes off like a Nicholas Cage movie without Nicholas Cage, though that's not to say John Cusack does a bad job in the lead. Despite Samuel L. Jackson being prominently placed on the posters, this is essentially a one-man show, with Cusack acting his heart out amidst silly CG ghosts in the hotel room from hell. I didn't think it was amazing, but it is fun at least.

The Innocents (dir. Jack Clayton, 1961)

A governess fears her charges are possessed by ghosts, but her fervor to save them might be the greatest danger of all.

The Innocents is a dynamic chiller, one of the most atmospheric gothic thrillers I have ever seen. My perspective on the characters and story evolves every time I see it. The viewer is never told the "truth" of the situation. Are there actually ghosts possessing the children or are they merely traumatized? Is the governess a savior or an agent of destruction, unwitting though she may be?

If you haven't seen it, do not read the rest of what I have to say, because you'd be robbing yourself of a wonderful experience with one of the best horror films of all time. But I do want to talk about my current reaction to the central character, Miss Gibbens the governess.

SPOILERS

This time around, I found myself actually frightened of Miss Gibbens.

In the past, I found her sad and disturbed, but this time around, the danger she poses to those kids stood out more than usual. When she says she isn't a "cruel" person, I certainly believe her, but good intentions do not absolve her actions of psychological harm. If anything, the woman has a savior complex, likely augmented by her being a clergyman's daughter. At one point, she says her father taught her to "help people even if they refuse my help"-- basically to shove her brand of salvation on people no matter the harm it does because the ends justify the means.

And then there is the weird sexual undercurrent of her relationship with Miles. It's clear Miss Gibbens is enamored with her employer, the aloof bachelor who supports the children but otherwise wants nothing to do with them. She cannot be with the object of her desire for a variety of reasons (class difference, his disinterest, her own moral scruples, etc.), but her infatuation does not dissipate. Instead, she seems to transfer these affections onto Miles. Miles puts on a bit of an act, assuming he's quite grown-up compared to his sister Flora and flirting with Miss Gibbens (almost as though he were imitating Quint?), and maybe this act also influences Miss Gibbens to an extent. The dynamic between them gets really damn creepy and gross, with Miss Gibbens cloaking everything in her more amiable desire to help others and be needed. That final kiss she plants on his mouth after he dies never fails to make me shudder-- it's incredibly disturbing.

Miss Gibbens' lack of awareness-- of her own desires and of the real world-- is largely her fatal flaw. She is herself an innocent in many ways, thinking the uncle will care about her ghost theories, assuming her good intentions mean the children will not be harmed by her forcing them to confront their trauma head-on, seeing Miles as both child in need of help and corrupted, sexualized adult in a child's body. And yet, her innocence does not make her heroic or even good. It simply leads to more tragedy.

Deborah Kerr is amazing at channeling all of these contradictory elements of the character. Really, hers should be considered one of the great performances of all time, it's so good.

Candyman (dir. Bernard Rose, 1992)

Graduate student Helen is studying the urban legend of the Candyman. In life he was a Black artist named Daniel Robitaille, a son of former slaves who was brutally lynched after his affair with a white woman was discovered. A skeptic, she inadvertently summons him from beyond the grave. She is subsequently hurtled headlong into a nightmare scenario in which she is accused of several murders and her only salvation is offering her life to the Candyman as a sacrifice.

I knew about Candyman for years and it was sold to me as a slasher. It really isn't when you watch it-- with its mystery and crime thriller elements, it resembles a giallo, only far less goofy. While there are a handful of cheesy slasher moments, this is more of a gothic thriller with a dark romantic edge (romantic in the Mary Shelley sense, I mean).

But yeah, this was great. I really never knew where the film was going, and much of the imagery genuinely creeped me out. However, I also found the lore of the titular character fascinating. He essentially remains "alive" through the urban legends spread about him and resents the protagonist's efforts to make people disbelieve. The juxtaposition of the grounded, real world setting and the eerie, otherworldly images associated with the Candyman gave the film a rich sense of the uncanny. I can definitely see myself revisiting this one again and want to get a physical copy ASAP.

Also, Tony Todd's voice is just--- YES.

Bride of Frankenstein (dir. James Whale, 1935)

Following the events of the first movie, the Monster survives the burning windmill and seeks out companionship in the countryside. Meeting mostly fear and violence, he is driven to Dr. Pretorious, his creator's former mentor and an avid devotee to the idea of creating a new race of beings. Pretorious and the Monster join forces to coerce Henry Frankenstein into making a mate for the Monster, but their efforts do not end how they desired.

What can I say about this movie? It's absolutely brilliant. It takes all the strengths of the first film-- the pathos, the campy humor, the gothic production design-- and cranks it all up to eleven. Literally, my only beef is I WANT MORE OF THE BRIDE. She is so iconic and Lanchester gives her such an unsettling, alien presence. I wish she had been given more opportunities to play the character.

The Mad Doctor (dir. David Hand, 1933)

Pluto gets kidnapped by an insane scientist who loves cutting every living thing in sight into pieces. It's Mickey Mouse meets Saw, more or less.

One of the classic Mickey Mouse cartoons, the macabre humor is off the charts here, paying homage to the aesthetics of the gothic horror films of the period. It's a really good homage too-- the backgrounds and effects are astonishing. There's a sequence where the "camera" is following Mickey through a tunnel and the evocation of three-dimensional space is so cool. Part of what I love about Disney in the 1930s is how ambitious their work could be, even in short films like this.

Peeping Tom (dir. Michael Powell, 1960)

A shy photographer kills women while filming their deaths for a "documentary," but a burgeoning romance with a young woman threatens to both upend his mission and reveal his crimes to the authorities.

Disturbing and tragic, Peeping Tom remains a unique horror experience. It gets compared to Hitchcock's Psycho often-- both of them were controversial proto-slashers about disturbed, sexually repressed young men whose childhood abuse turns them into killers. Both films came out in 1960 and pushed at any notion of "good taste" with their sexuality and violence. However, Psycho became its director's biggest hit, while Peeping Tom permanently damaged Michael Powell's successful directorial career. While Psycho also provoked disgust, it was also more "fun" and humorous, while Peeping Tom has a sadder core. The ending haunts me in a way few other horror movies do.

Sisters (dir. Brian De Palma, 1972)

Ambitious young reporter Grace Collier witnesses a murder in the apartment across from hers, but when she cannot get the police to believe her story (mainly due to their prejudice against her, as she's written articles critical of police brutality and racism in the past), she investigates the crime on her own. Her inquiries uncover a disturbing conspiracy involving a pair of previously conjoined twins and the emotional rift caused by their separation.

Sisters has become a staple of my Halloween viewing since I first saw it years ago. It's weird because I initially didn't like it very much, but now I count it among my absolute favorites. It's certainly a riff on Hitchcockian themes of voyeurism and violence-- movie geeks will easily spot references to Psycho and Rear Window-- but it has a very countercultural edge. Having seen De Palma's earlier, politically charged comedies like Hi Mom! really illuminates that element of the film, particularly its feminist themes and commentary on police corruption.

But that all sounds very academic, and this film is anything but a dry pamphlet on sociopolitics via 1972. This is a darkly funny and stylistically playful thriller with some visceral shocks, and the performances from Margot Kidder and Jennifer Salt are absolutely amazing. Actually, I love Salt's character Grace the most. She's abrasive but ultimately sympathetic and admirable, her aggressive personality hiding a great many vulnerabilities, namely her anxiety about going nowhere in a writing career her mother seems to view as a distraction from "proper" womanly goals like getting married before age 30. I find Grace a funny yet poignant character, her fate disturbing.

[winterchimez]

tag game! 🎮

tagged by: @adorablehyunjae @from-izzy (thank you yas & izzy!! 💕)

rules: you're going to pick 10 of your biases (or as many biases as you have and then fill in the rest of the spots with idols you like) and number them 1-10. then answer the questions below! try not to look at the questions before you make your list!

bias list:

lee sangyeon (tbz)

jeon jungkook (bts)

xiao dejun (wayv)

min yoongi (bts)

lee hyunjae (tbz)

ju haknyeon (tbz)

kim chungha

kim youngbin (sf9)

lee jihoon (svt)

song yuqi (g)i-dle

questions under the cut!

between 7 and 5, who did you bias first?

i def fell for chungha way back before i became a deobi so it's her!! literally my kween i love love and admire her sm 🥹

between 2 and 6, who are you more attached to?

if we're speaking in terms of ult then it would be jungkook 🤧 he was literally my no.1 ult for life (and has been for so many years) until sangyeon came in the picture 😭 but he's still super dear to me i love my googie loads 🥺🐰 if irl ideally probs my junjun!! we both speak chinese & cantonese, me is an infp and he's an enfp, match made in heaven dare i say!! but seriously xiaojun is literally my ideal type irl 🥹🦕

if you were to spend the day with either 3 or 1, who would you choose and what would you do?

WHY WOULD YOU MAKE ME CHOOSE BETWEEN SANGYEON AND DEJUN WHY WHY WHY 😭😭😭😭😭😭 OKAY BUT REALISTICALLY SPEAKING, i might have to choose xiaojun 😔 (LET ME EXPLAIN BEFORE ANY OF YALL COME AT ME—)

firstly, we wouldn't have any language barriers which saves up so much time and energy good lord. (if it was sangyeon i would be stammering in my speech all day im sorry i will go learn more hangul first 😭😭😭) i LOVE cafe hopping, so i'd probably drag his ass to all of the places i wanna go, probably hang around at some park for picnic during noon, and finish off dinner at haidilao (obviously) 😋 he's a foodie he'll agree with me 😚

what is your favorite physical feature about 9?

look i have a thing for his captivating eyes (which jihoon reminds me loads of yoongi maybe that's why they're both part of my bias list LMAO)

what is your favorite part of 6's personality?

MY BELOVED HAKKIE 🥹 i absolutely love how enthusiastic he is about literally EVERYTHING. as a huge introvert myself i longed to have a partner who's outgoing and would literally make my laugh over anything at all, and that's how i imagine hakkie would be (esp when that's how he is with the members) ughhh i would do anything to spend time with this one 🤧🤧🤧

if you were to tell 8 anything you wanted, what would you tell them?

my precious binnie 🍀 you've been through so much and i know as a leader it hasn't always been easy for you shouldering so much even when you were in the army. but i hope you know that fantasys are always here for you and that it's totally fine to cry and let out your feelings to us, and i wish nothing but to continue to see that lovely smile and laughter on you always 💚

between 1 and 2, whose closet would you raid?

bruh they're both fashionistas but imma go for Sangyeon bcs Jungkook's closet is literally all black and white, and some hints of red that's it 😭

what is a style that you want to see 3 try?

i think xiaojun is pretty open-minded and he has tried quite a lot of styles by now... but i have to say. wayv's all for love perf from their kick back showcase???? that xiaojun CHANGED MY LIFE FOREVER.

between 5 and 4, who are you closer to in height?

yoongi 😭 hyunjae is too tall for moi 🤧

between 10 and 9, whose music do you like the best?

omg please this is such a hard one 😭😭😭😭😭😭 but i will have to go for seventeen since i've been their fan literally since their debut 🤧🤧🤧

tagging: @sungbeam @juyeonszn @itsbeeble @zzoguri @kimsohn @mosviqu @invuwrld @stealanity @etherealcheol-mp3 @cupidjyu @snowflakewhispers @planetkiimchi @beautifulchris

[betweenthings2]

hello!!! warning you now that this is going to be the longest thing ever because i’m allergic to being concise but it’s finally time for me to actually send you an ask to gush and discuss your incredible writing. i’ve been interacting with your work on ao3 and tumblr for over a year now and i just lurk and heart everything because i refuse to use tumblr how it’s intended to be used🫣 but it’s time to show my face (even though this is anonymous oops) and say the quality of your writing is genuinely unparalleled to anything else i’ve ever read online and dare i say it comes close to/ overtakes some of the published books i’ve read and loved. you are such a talent it drives me crazy. you’ve quite literally spoiled fanfiction for me because i’ll read something for a different fandom and think “ugh it’s good but it’s not betweenthings2😔😔😔”

i saw you answer an ask a while ago asking what your goal for writing is and you said something along the lines of wanting to move people with your work. when i saw that it made me smile because you’ve achieved it ten times over and im worried you don’t realise it!!! so im going to tell you about my experience reading Roadkill for the first time (side note but in my opinion this is your best and therefore most underrated piece and i would love to talk about it further)

i remember being at a cafe that day by myself having a little drink and sweet treat and getting the email notification that you’d posted something to ao3 and nearly dying from anticipation for the rest of the day because i knew i wouldn’t do the fic justice to just quickly read it in a noisy cafe. it would be a waste of art. so in the evening i lied to my parents that i had plans with friends and wouldn’t be home for dinner and instead walked to the park near my house with a block of chocolate and sat on a park bench in the slightly-chilly-but-still-nice-out australian dusk. trust me i remember it so vividly because it’s like a core memory for me now. i’d been going through a really tough time mentally and felt super disconnected from everything and everyone. when i tell you i read all 35k words in one sitting and wept like a baby. i’m a very emotional girl dont get me wrong but the release that your writing made me feel was something so special that i’d never felt before. the whole piece is so devastating and confronting and just misery but it made me feel so seen and whole and human. if i could describe your writing in one word i think it would be human. everything is always raw and vulnerable and messy but so tender it just makes me insane. i sat in that park and cried for such a long time and even though the whole experience was so heavy and i could feel the grief you manufactured in my gut i left that park feeling lighter and grounded. i think that’s how anyone would feel after witnessing such greatness. (side note but i’ve actually banned myself from re-reading roadkill for the minute because it makes me lose my mind a bit too much but that’s just a further testament to you. can’t wait to get back to my scripture later on)

your other fics on ao3 and perfect as well and i read Second Letter From St Julian, All This Barley Getting By, I Forget A Lot Of Things But I’ll Never Forget You and Me And You vs Them religiously. they are my comfort fics through and through🩷 maybe the hyper fixation has gone too deep for me but when i’m trying to fall asleep i use the plots of your fics to expand on in my head and it’s just the perf combination to lull me to sleep.

now for imo the main event of this ask- i need to tell you the extreme and life threatening brainrot THIS specific line from Of Bouquets And Back Rubs has given me.

"Sorry," Matty apologizes.

George sighs, but doesn't stop. "I'm going to start talking to your therapist if you keep apologizing for things you don't need to apologize for," he says.

what the hell. you can’t just write that and expect my whole world to not revolve around it for the rest of my life. that line ping pongs around my head at all times. at work, in the shower, when i’m on a walk, when i’m laying in bed, it’s literally always on my mind. i don’t know why but i just thought you should know that’s it’s STUCK with me. like i’m truly affected. (if you ever wanted to expand on it you know you have at least one devoted fan of the idea)

hopefully this will be my first of many asks because it’s so nice to finally tell you how deeply in love i am with your words. to hold me accountable i’ll claim the matcha emoji 🍵 if that’s something you do!!!!

i just realised i didn’t tell you how your prompts make me melt but they do and i wouldn’t survive the commute to tafe without them. just little bites of pure literature you spoil us so much.

thanks for giving me something to lurk on and obsess over- it’s been an honour🩷 (also ps i wonder if you can figure out who this is based on the freaky amount of times i heart your posts. someone has to sit me down and explain that this isn’t instagram🤕)

Hi, newly christened Matcha Anon!! =)

I meant to answer this yesterday, but I just kept reading through it and being so incredibly touched and blown away by all of your kind words that I didn't entirely have a response, but I think I do now. I will also be long.

First of all, I am so touched (and a little surprised) that you find my writing to be on par with published novels, so thank you so much, that is such an amazing compliment!!! I can't believe I've spoiled you for fic. I'm getting back into the swing of things now that I'm home, so I'll have more fic for you soon.

I'm also so glad to hear that I've creating something moving. Sometimes I think I take things a little too seriously, particularly writing fic, but I'm thrilled to hear that you find my work moving. This will be stuck in my head forever:

"it would be a waste of art."

Roadkill was a lot to write because it gets so bleak and some of me is in there, but I'm so moved by your experience of reading it and honored that you would share it. That's my goal, generally--to create catharsis. And to see my fanfic called greatness? Oh my god. Oh my god. I have no words other than oh my god and thank you so, so much!!

I'm thrilled to see that Of Bouquets and Backrubs resonated with you, particularly that bit of dialogue. That whole fic was a little bit last minute, to be entirely honest and I was working so hard to make it fluffy, rather than angsty. I might expand on that fic in the future, but I also really like how it ended. Who knows what will happen. I don't.

I'm also so happy that you like the prompts! I think they're really fun to write and very low stakes for me. Apologies for not having a more regular schedule for posting anything, but there's no way I could keep that up for more than a week or two. I would explode.

Thank you so much for all the compliments and reading what I write!!! 💚💚💚

[srlkiller]

ive realised that my self esteem & just general ‘sense of self’/love for myself is so awful & low.. horribly dependant & reliant on something or someONE else these days & i absolutely fucking loathe myself for ittttttt bc im beyond self aware.. yet ive jus never been loved my entire life by even my own parents to be shown that im worth a singular fuck so the bar is so low for humans… i seemingly will jus allow the fucking worst bc i guess subconsciously that’s what ive always been taught/shown/drilled into me by my parents to believe that i deserve? wen i know it’s not at all bc literally NO ONE deserves to be treated like shit by another human being. i have trouble saying the words no to other people. i have a lot of trouble just standing up for myself these days.. especially the lonelier i get, the more isolated i have become & older ive gotten. i found comfort in being alone & definitely got to know myself sm better.. then i went thru horrible shit all over again & lost myself completely.. all over again.. & haven’t been able to rebuild myself back up since then.. ive only gone downhill.. over & over & over. i know that I AM the only one that inevitably can help myself & save myself.. i have to do the work & put in the effort etc etc but it’s so hard with absolutely ZERRROOO support system of any kind & feeling like you have nothing & no one.. not one family member.. not one pet.. nothing at all anymore. everything has been ripped from me, taken by force or by death itself. I’ve been broken sm times but now that ive finally been able to let someone in again on some kind of romantic level.. im terrified.. so im letting them jus walk all over me which is the total opposite of who I am & everything i stand for, emulate as a woman & my whole fucking energy as a being. i don’t recognise myself at all so ive totally seperated myself from whoever this is.. the body, the mind.. the soul. i numb every feeling n thought i can.. whenever i can. but wow just having this huge surgery & putting my body under such duress & jeopardy was lowkey such a wake up call bc wtf?! IVE NEVER DONE NO SHIT LIKE FHIS BEFORE FOR ANYONE ELSE?!?! AND FOR WHAATTTT?!?! HE HAD THE PERF OPPORTUNITY TO DO EVERYTHING FHE RIGHT WAY N STILL FUXKED IT UP TO SATISFY HIS OWN SELFISH NEEDS.. so wtf am i doing? what am i doing risking myself for someone like that… i look stupid, feel stupid.. & could get left at any minute which would send me spiraling for someone who is quite frankly… not even close to what i need in a man or what ive ever wanted. im simply cheating myself out of a great self help story.. as i turn 29.. i reach my last year if my 20’s & I’ll b damned if i waste that shit on some young dumb n full of cum mf who doesn’t even give a fuck ab my health in any capacity who is probably lying n doing god knows what behind my back anyway… I seriously just need to put myself first.. just try.. I need to try. bc remember when I did? how proud I was? how it worked? it’s always worked. time to start writing goals n writing shit down again.. as we start approaching this date n it gets closer n closer.. on the 25/11/23 I’ll be 29 yall. it’s the 13/11/23 today. 11 days to get things in order. my goals don’t even need to be big I jus need to get things ‘in order’… ‘ready for 29’ sounds like a cool lil title.. as my bday is pretty much leading into the New Year anyway it’d b cool to get a lil head start on others too. like the needles into my head for alopecia which I have an appt for jus before my bday.. lashes n brows I have that appt for.. i needa get my actual hair done somehow.. before nye!! change my piercings to cold & possibly get another?! more tattoos!! coverup of the Drake matching one for sure. Look into studying pharmacology or some other career pathway course.. possibly something with units I’ve completed already at uni?? i need to write a list.. basically is what I’m saying as some things are more easy fix small goals that are appearance self care based, some are medium level, some are mental, some are spiritual, some are academic, some will take

[clacing]

I wanted to ask Reyna this but idk if she watched the newest episode yet 😭

What do you think the solution will be for Eri, Suletta, and Aerial now that Calibarn has been introduced into the show? I mean, Calibarn is quite iconic and I think she's the only gundam type in the show that could rival Aerial's popularity, like the model looks amazing and they're basically a giant witch gundam--amazing 10/10

But do you think that Calibarn will serve as the replacement for Aerial permanently? Suletta continuing to pilot Calibarn makes sense in a narrative way, showing how she's grown past her craddle (Aerial). BUT given how much of a strain it puts on Suletta without Eri, im not too sure. That is unless Suletta somehow becomes more compatible with the data storm like Eri is

And would Eri want to be tied to Aerial or any Gundam after everything that she and Prospera have done? Can she survive without Aerial?

I think, in my perf world, Eri would shift from Aerial to Calibarn. Sibling solidarity 🤞but that's probably wishful thinking on my part. 😣 I think I just feel guilty for liking Calibarn's design more than Aerial's now

Reyna has watched it and will be writing their own post!! I wanted to include her thoughts here but she said they were too long

As for me: I honestly don't think Suletta will be getting into any more Gundams after the final fight. Even if they somehow found a way for Gundams to not kill their pilots, they're still the most scarily efficient war machines around. And this isn't even a matter of "oh the Gundams themselves aren't the problem it's just how they're used" because war is literally what they were created for. GUND-Arm technology is salvageable and I really hope Miorine can still do something with it but once you incorporate it into mobile suits bad things are going to start happening so I hope Suletta and Miorine can just run off to Earth and settle down on a nice farm where they can keep growing their tomatoes and working on medical tech. I think they deserve it

As for Eri..... there's no way she's going to live I'm sorry anon 😭 After keeping her stuck in a giant robot for 17 years it's time for Prospera to finally practice what she preaches and move forward. Like I think Eri will be gone by the end of the series either way but I think it would be especially powerful if Prospera were to let her go. I figured Eri would die since I saw the end of The Blessing MV with Aerial seemingly abandoned, Suletta walking away from it, and Eri slowly disappearing with a smile on her face, and that's still my prediction