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idleglowingpixels · 1 year

Note

talk about Collector

WHYYYYYYYYYY okay now that I got that off my chest let's get serious LMAO

Before I dive in too deep, to any other ppl reading, THIS IS YOUR FAIR WARNING IF YOU DON'T WANT TO READ ANY CRITICISM OF TOH. Something that is really apparent in this fandom particularly is that a lot of ppl refuse to allow and accept genuine criticism discussions, dumbing it down to personal biases, misinterpretations of the text (or in this case, the show), and proclaiming "It's intentional that the show did that!" every time someone breathes something negative about it. This is ESPECIALLY annoying with the "Blame Disney/the shortening" nonsense -- a key skill in television writing is to be capable of working with the allotted time that the studios give you. After they were told Season 3 got cut short, they still had 11 22-minute episodes of Season 2 and all three 40+ minute episodes of Season 3 to conclude the story in a satisfying way.

Seeking and reading criticism posts outside of the general tags, ignoring warnings on posts that give forewarnings, then getting mad and upset that someone criticized your comfort show is generally an unhealthy behavior, especially if you're not in a good mental state. If you can't take people criticizing something you enjoy, and more-so if you deem it your comfort media, and feel the need to bother them because you made yourself upset reading their posts, you've got a lot of soul searching to do. That, or maybe you should log off until you can handle it.

Also, obviously, spoilers ahead for TOH, as well as Amphibia because these shows parallel a lot more than I want them to. :')

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I have a LOT to say about The Owl House from a critical and writing perspective, and I feel like the show is EXTREMELY overhyped for what it actually is. I feel its sister show Amphibia executed much of the same/similar themes better, and that's not even a bias thing. Just from the way both shows are written, you can tell which one feels more competently structured from a narrative standpoint (and, let's be honest, which one is actually funny).

Okay enough about general opinion, let's get to Collector. From a character design perspective, GOD I love this little guy, both the reflection/shadow form and the actual form are distinct from the rest of the cast. I'm a big Sun and Moon design/symbolism enjoyer (Sun and Moon from FNAF, Sun and Blake from RWBY, Celestia and Luna from MLP:FiM, etc.) so these types of characters are always welcome. And while their voice annoys me personally it ABSOLUTELY fits them, so no matter how annoying I find it I don't think I'd want them to have any other voice.

But that, unfortunately, is the only props I can give to Collector.

The show is FULL of redeemed antagonists that range from okay (I'd like to think Amity was decent enough and Hunter was alright but definitely should have been introduced earlier so his redemption was a slow burn but this post isn't about them so I'll end this note here) to "what the actual fuck" (Idc what anyone says, there is no excuses PERIOD, Lilith's redemption was the absolute worst redemption arc I think I've ever seen AND I'VE SEEN CATRA'S), and Collector is very much on the lower end of that scale. We hardly see them overall and their character writing is rushed beyond belief -- and again, I'd like to reiterate that that is ENTIRELY on the writing team for the show. Disney and the shortening DID NOT DECIDE TO KEEP COLLECTOR IN. The writing staff were aware of the time they had left and made the decision to shoehorn them in and expect everyone to just be okay with it.

From a writing perspective, they bloat the story exponentially and 100% should have been left in the drafts or saved for future content like what Dana said she might do if she is able to through books and such. If we only get hints of the other Collectors, this one should have STAYED hints with them.

We have essentially no significant amount of time with them outside of Hollow Mind and the season 2 finale before season 3, and what we DO have of them in season 2B is so drastically different I'd consider 2B Collector and 3 Collector as two different characters entirely. And before you tell me, "They're different because sun/moon symbolism!" "They're different because Belos and King influence them differently!" etc. etc., don't waste your time. Yes, those are good explanations as to why they feel so different between seasons, but that does not make the writing of the character inherently good. Allow me to elaborate:

In S2B, of what little we see of Collector, they are extremely sadistic in nature, and while they appear childish the writing of that lack of care for others is ABUNDANTLY CLEAR. And it seemed that way even as Belos first encountered him as Philip in the flashback episode. There, they weren't yet "influenced" by Belos and his plans; hell, he hardly had an actual plan yet.

Skip ahead to Hollow Mind, easily the best episode of Season 2 imo, and Collector is taunting Belos, mocking him and his schemes. Saying things like "Ooh, you were mad!" and "I'm starting to think you make those [grimwalkers] just to destroy them. You have fun with it, admit it!"

I cannot find any reasonable explanation as to how or why Belos would influence Collector into doing such things. Why would he want a little pain in the ass making fun of him for hundreds of years? And by his response to Collector's taunt about the grimwalkers and Hunter, "Of course I don't, Collector. It hurts every time he chooses to betray me," he took offense to their words, but kept his tone from shifting to anger as he does with everyone else because of Collector's power.

Belos doesn't want Collector thinking he doesn't like them because of their abilities, but he does want to stay on their good side for information. For knowledge of spells. And he puts up with Collector's annoyances because of that.

Essentially, that wasn't something Belos taught them or influenced them to do. All Collector knows is to adapt to their friends' behaviors, yes, but Belos is like, over 400 years old. I don't know about you, but I doubt with the way he speaks and how he's written that he would taunt his underlings in the same childish vain as Collector, and do so enough for Collector to pick up and mimic that behavior.

Now to the finale, their appearance is pretty much just them getting duped by Belos and sent into the depths of the titan skull, where King ever-so-conveniently finds them, making the pinky swear that releases them.

They maintain that mocking attitude even after Belos betrays them, calling King "boring" for calling them Mr. Collector and feeling generally disinterested by King before he promises a game to play. And even after they're released, they continue the attitude further with the whole "I remember someone throwing me off a bridge...I'm not angry, though!" bit, only to send Belos to his "death" moments after, deeming it as a game of tag. They've seen Belos kill grimwalkers first hand, fully aware that their lives mean nothing, and replicated the behavior by returning the favor to Belos (or so they thought). Their lack of care continues when they nearly try to do the same thing to the Hexsquad, people who didn't even do anything to them, before King stops them, changing the subject before they can cause further harm.

After stopping the draining spell, Collector continues the destructive maliciousness they have all the way to the end of the episode, and that's the impression of them we're left with. They were sadistic, uncaring and childish, but only learned the behavior of killing from Belos -- even though Belos didn't actually die, the intent was to kill him, and they were fully planning to continue with the Hexsquad.

And then...We get to Season 3.

Just a side-note, I think it's a safe assumption to say the first 2 seasons of The Owl House took place between roughly 2 months, as Luz was outside waiting to leave for a summer camp after the school year ended before initially arriving in the demon realm. Going off of that assumption, in Part 1 Luz returned to school as she returned to the human realm, presumably in late August/early September due to her living in Connecticut. And since Part 1 takes place in the timespan of about 3-7 days, the last day being Halloween, the timeskip only brought us about 2 more months ahead. Keep this in mind.

After Luz and co. return to the demon realm in Part 2 -- objectively the worst episode of the season -- we already see King's influence on Collector since they turned everyone into puppets instead of actively injuring or killing them when they don't comply. Still bad? Yes. But from how it looks in Part 3 with the Hexsquad, it seems more like the puppets' consciences are just comatose or an alternative to sleeping, maybe in a REM-like state. But of course, the show didn't have enough time to explain that further over all the nonsense in Part 2.

Anyway, when we see Collector in Part 2, they're still being childish, which is unfortunately the only thing that stays consistent with this character. They then say two lines that were the most god-awful writing decisions I've seen in a hot minute, and this show is STOCK FULL of really bad "this is peak humor LAUGH" moments like this.

They say that Eda has this "cool aunt vibe" and such, which sounds like one of those "character dynamics/tropes" posts on social media like Tumblr and whatnot. It comes off as really pretentious in the writing, and was shockingly unfunny to hear for a show that calls itself a comedy. Another line that frustrates me, more-so for lore reasons, is when they ask Odalia to make pizza bagels, when it was previously stated that human food is inaccessible to Luz during her time in the demon realm. So not only is it contradicting that whole thing (Eda actively struggled to find food for Luz that she could eat), how would they or King even know what one is or how to actually make one??

It seems like a small point to get heated over, but it once again feels like one of those stupid one-liners that one of the writers thought was the funniest shit they've ever thought up and kept it in because they knew die-hard fans would just laugh it off and brush it off as a joke, and that the writers forgetting about Eda's maternal struggle to feed her adopted kid is Disney's/the shortening's fault because they're at fault for everything wrong with the show...and not the ppl who wrote it.

Regardless, this whole shtick is extremely out-of-character for the way they had spoken in Season 2, and from what I can recall (I'm not gonna rewatch the entire show for the sake of a single post), King never talks like this. Luz does around him, but he himself doesn't talk like this.

I've discussed with friends before about this, including Robin (the one who asked me to talk about this), but from Part 2 onward Collector gets the same Luz-like writing every character that gets redeemed suddenly dawns out of the blue. I started calling it luz-ification, but it doesn't just happen to Collector.

It happened to Hunter, where his more cocky and ego-centric dialogues from early 2A was dropped for a more "comedic" personality and an anxiety-ridden character, though it's later eluded to that his cocky attitude was him masking his true self, so I try to keep it to that perspective.

But this happened to Lilith as well, where she suddenly started acting like "Cool Aunt Lilith" IMMEDIATELY FOLLOWING HER ADMITTING TO CURSING EDA AND ALLOWING HER CAPTURE. WITH NO CONSEQUENCES TO BE FACED OTHER THAN THE CURSE SPLIT WHICH IS HARDLY UTILIZED IN THE SHOW.

(Side-tangent: Characters facing little to no consequences for their actions is something that goes on so much in this show but this is long enough already and I really don't like talking about this shit for long 'cause I could be using my time on better pieces of media, I'm sure there's plenty of posts explaining this point elsewhere by ppl who enjoyed TOH more than me)

Hell, it even happened to Amity for a hot minute. For some moments in the show she's written really off-character and saying things that just completely contradict how she's typically written, but then goes back to the more sassy and balanced character later on.

This post has gotten WAY longer than I wanted it to be, but to keep me from spending even more time on this, Part 2 shows a drastically different Collector, to the point that they do not by any means have the same character writing as they had before. They got luz-ified. Using social media lingo they couldn't even have access to in canon, and being written to quite literally just sound like a mini-me of Luz with the more obnoxious undertones of the childish thing.

Point is, they mimic these behaviors of Luz that they wouldn't even have reasonable access to learning from, because she's in the human realm for almost all the time after their release. It only makes sense in Part 3, when Luz is actually there for them to see her behaviors in action, but even that is so contrived and rushed that it feels unrealistic and narratively unnecessary. Remember what I said before about the timeskip only being 2 months? Yeah, 2 months isn't nearly enough time for a character to fundamentally change who they are as drastically as Collector.

Now to the part where I talk about Amphibia really quick and mention how it did the whole "having an alternative threat acting as a mini-boss" thing a million times better than this shit ever could. King Andrias, paralleling Collector for this particular scenario, is shown relatively early on that he's an antagonist to the audience. It's later revealed as a plot twist not to the audience, but to the characters, who least expected it. They don't waste time trying to throw off the audience with red herrings or telling its audience "He's not a bad guy, he's totally not going to be evil later on." They just show the audience he's evil and keep the story moving.

He's given enough time to feel like this ominous, looming threat, and True Colors masterfully showed how messed up this guy is and the lengths he is willing to go to ascend to the Core and cheat death, just as the souls within the Core had. His motive to avoid death and return Amphibia to the world-conquering ideologies from centuries' past is what made him such a love-to-hate villain. And the motive to cheat death in a children's cartoon? Metal as hell. The Core also parallels Belos here, and further on in Season 3, being the one manipulating Andrias through his fear of death in order to make him do what they want him to.

In the third season, Andrias continues his work by the Core's demands, only giving up in the final battle when he's read a letter from someone he had considered a friend long ago, which admittedly didn't have much set-up but it was at least the focus of an entire episode prior to the big pre-finale.

At the end of the series, he's shown to have moved on, allowing himself to age naturally and to stop using technology to keep him in pristine condition for eternity. He accepted the natural cycle of life, and in turn accepted that he will come to pass one day. He wasn't a perfectly written character, but considering what it's being compared to? Leagues better.

Like I said before, TL;DR, Collector is the bloatware of The Owl House's plot. They were shoved in as a last minute addition because they were the writers' "precious bean silly goose little gremlin blorbo" that they couldn't just keep in the drafts with the rest of the collectors. So instead of maintaining what little integrity the show's writing had to begin with and follow through to the end with the Day of Unity plotline being the series finale (Which was VERY OBVIOUSLY WHAT THEY WERE GOING FOR), they essentially made a side quest distraction that dragged the story on for longer than it needed to, wasting the audience's time.

I'm not mad that the Collector exists, I just find that their inclusion in the series did more harm than good for the writing. The show has a serious issue with giving screentime to unnecessary characters like the miscellaneous Hexside students, giving characters too much screentime (The biggest offender for this is Amity, there's more episodes centered around her than Hunter, Willow and Gus combined) and not giving ACTUALLY necessary characters enough screentime (Looking at you, Emerald Trio).

I really want to rewrite TOH, and if I feel the need to rewrite a show, it's usually because there's too much fundamentally wrong with it for me to give it anything higher than a 6/10 overall. But I've already got a whole AU and a whole rewrite in the works for two other series I care wayyyyy more about, so that's gonna have to be left to other writers in this fandom.

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If this post is how you've stumbled upon my page, hi :') Feel free to ask me about more or to elaborate on smth I said here if you want clarification, but if you check out my intro post and see another mutual interest we have maybe ask me about that instead of TOH please and thank you

#toh criticism #toh critical #the collector #heed my warning or get blocked #I'm not dealing with ppl that take general media criticism personally #anyway have fun with this novel ig #amphibia is so much better than this show and I'm tired of ppl not seeing that

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mmriesoftvat · 10 months

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CHARACTER ANALYSIS: WANDERER VS CYNO.

i've talked extensively to people about my thoughts on this, so i'm going to preface this entire post with my OPINION that wanderer is playing around during this fight. he's incredibly strong and has hundreds of years of fighting experience over the other contestants. he was ordered to keep an eye on them, not to actually harm them. THAT SAID, "playing around" also doesn't mean not doing anything. he's clearly still fighting, but i think the difference is that he's enjoying himself more than he anticipated. and of course, there are contestants that brought him a decent enough challenge and even tested his skills. but ULTIMATELY wanderer was not throwing his full strength into the ring. he was taking it easy and holding himself back. please don't come at me.

that said, let's get on with it!

here we have our first screenshot. he's not touching layla, he merely is taking the diadem from her. it's a huge blink and you'll miss it moment, and i had to slow the video way down to capture this shot because of how fast he's moving. had he been more serious, wanderer would have at least done something more. this is the first hint we see that he's holding back/taking things semi easily. he's just taking it and going.

i really love this shot of her confusion. layla has no idea wtf just happened. wanderer is a zoomy boy, okay? very "hi bye!". i love it. she's heckin confused, probably didn't even see him.

oh but faruzan definitely saw him. now she's mad. it had just been between her and layla, and now EVERYONE'S there, all fighting for the diadem. competition just got more high stakes for her. go faruzan, get your crown.

THIS was the first moment i realized wanderer wasn't being serious. if he were actually competing, he probably wouldn't have slowed down/stopped to stare at faruzan. everyone else was in it to win. he's just holding out the diadem and. dare i say, even taunting her? hat guy you silly billy.

bonus dialog after he stole the diadem right out from layla's arms. again, zoomy and zippy boy.

look at he go.

this is the first time he's being targeted. notice how he's not attacking her back. he's attacking her device in self defense.

self. defense. though, i will admit that he does throw out some half assed blades later on, but for now, he's protecting himself.

so far, yet again, he's moving in self defense. i don't know for sure if he knew the others were laying in wait and purposely flew toward them. i feel like tighnari definitely planned on hitting him, but wanderer is flying at the moment, and is still moving fast. quick reflexes though, i'm impressed. wish i could be like that.

this is his expression to cyno's weapon being thrown in his direction. to me it looks focused, like he's thinking on the spot and less "i'm going to demolish this guy." wanderer is actively thinking while moving. either for strategy or to dodge, but i love the tiny detail in that his gaze is focused right on that staff, and he looked very in the zone. and of course in the next shot, he uses his own abilities to knock the staff away.

now cyno, on the other hand. cyno is also very focused. he's definitely not playing around. that expression, what little we can see of his eye, very much screams "i'm going to pummel you into the ground." he wants that card. he's here for the win and he's going to take it.

the fact he lands and immediately starts running tells me he's NOT going to hold back. he's throwing his all into this. i love the contrast between him and wanderer. wanderer seems more focused/thinking on the spot on how not to hurt them. whereas cyno is looking to win and wanderer is someone he can target. especially considering wanderer is still holding the diadem. to me it also is very telling how low to the ground cyno is. he's still hunched forward, that guy has speed on his side and he's using every bit of it to get to wanderer.

here is wanderer, readying himself to attack cyno. and again i say he's holding back. because in the next shot-

he's landing on cyno's staff.

i've already talked about and reblogged recently a previous post where i went into detail over how strong wanderer is. if he really wanted to, that staff would not have stopped him from kicking cyno's face. we know cyno is strong, he's incredibly strong. but wanderer is also hyper strong and can do things that i don't think cyno can. plus, it looks like, to me at least, that he didn't even aim for cyno's face. the staff came up to block cyno, and wanderer immediately landed on it. there are a lot of things he could have done to take cyno out, but DIDN'T. every time i think about this entire cutscene, this moment right here is the biggest giveaway that wanderer's not being wholly serious. he landed on the staff and stared down cyno, and then jumped off. cyno may be taking this fight serious, but wanderer is holding back.

wanderer DOES throw out an attack, but i feel like it's him knowing that cyno's also fast as hell and can dodge easily. going back to the beginning, he didn't hurt layla or faruzan because he didn't want to hurt them. since cyno's also very strong, i'm pretty sure wanderer was comfortable enough to throw something out, knowing cyno could handle it. in that same vein, i don't think he got that chance with tighnari earlier, because he was too busy dodging all those arrows. i digress.

wanderer attacked because he knew cyno could easily dodge.

like so. cyno's able to block the attack because cyno is a very skilled fighter. not that none of the other contestants aren't skilled, but wanderer also just stopped to stare at faruzan rather than attack her. he had every opportunity to throw his anemo at her and layla, but he's only doing it with cyno. probably because cyno is also very fast and quick on the reflexes. still, it's a cool scene, it's my favorite cutscene in the entire game.

i mean, look at the way cyno's sliding to dodge. guy's practically doing the splits. but no, more seriously, look at the expression on his face. he's just as focused and determined, though i still think they're both focused and determined for different reasons. like i said earlier, cyno wants that card, wanderer just wants to do his job and make it out without anyone getting seriously hurt.

again, wanderer being really fast and dodging cyno's attacks. he's still throwing out his anemo, but he also flies around to make sure cyno's paying attention first before attacking again.

it's hard to see since even with the video playing really slowly this is what i'm able to get. but cyno was able to block the attack. the fact that wanderer waited until he could tells me he was holding back. were he more serious, he wouldn't have waited. at least, i don't think.

cyno is running so fast here it looks like he's gliding. maybe wanderer is a little more serious at this point. here is an opponent who can match him in speed at the VERY least, if not strength. i would even wager to say he's impressed. he's used to being the lone wanderer, hating the world around him and belittling everyone for being weaker than him. but here comes cyno who can match him in terms of speed and agility. who WOULDN'T be impressed by that? so maybe wanderer is a little more serious about who he's up against, especially considering they've been fighting each other more than anyone else in the competition fought each other. in this last round, at least. doesn't mean overall wanderer is completely serious over the whole competition.

another act of self defense. though i think in this case he didn't exactly have a choice. cyno caught him off guard. wanderer didn't have time to dodge or launch a counter attack -- cyno was too quick for him. no choice but to block the attack.

i feel like in this moment, it looks like wanderer wants to keep fighting cyno. the stare down is really intense, and it's intimidating when you see that cyno's surrounded by electro. the guy is ready to destroy something. i feel like, at least for the briefest of seconds, they both forgot about the competition and were more interested in fighting each other. but kaveh was attached to faruzan's device and flying in really fast.

bonus, i love that layla and faruzan have just been. standing around the whole time. i don't know where tighnari went. probably looking for another angle to shoot wanderer with.

just because wanderer is distracted by a flying kaveh, doesn't mean cyno is. more proof that wanderer isn't completely serious. why else would he turn his back on an opponent? cyno's not distracted, he's gonna get that diadem and win. he's so determined.

kaveh isn't even a threat. he's flying right by everything, probably too panicked and confused to let go of faruzan's device. but wanderer is reaching out anyway to spin him around. which, to me is the whole point: he may have had some enjoyment and flying around, but ultimately, the diadem was not his to take and the competition wasn't his to win. cause if he wanted to win or cared at all, he would've just taken the diadem to the podium himself. which wasn't what he was ordered to do but that's beside the point. the entire fight was nothing more than idle time wasted (and some unspoken bonding with cyno, i'm convinced of it.)

he's actively spinning kaveh around, though i think the device kaveh is still holding is helping. i don't think wanderer really intended to hurt anyone, he's just moving them around, toying with all of them.

cyno's still coming for the diadem. he wants it. but wanderer purposely holds it out. maybe he planned for it? because cyno succeeds in knocking it out of wanderer's hands. it goes flying up, leaving it open for kaveh to use his toolbox to grab it.

which of course, the force sent kaveh tumbling head over heels right to the podium. had wanderer not grabbed him and redirected him, wouldn't have happened.

the rest of the scene is kaveh basically winning the competition. but my ultimate conclusion is that wanderer was holding back. he didn't start attacking the other contestants until cyno came along, because cyno is just as terrifying as he is. i feel like wanderer enjoyed the fight, and would have continued had kaveh not shown up with the device, which provided a perfect opportunity for wanderer to redirect him and send him flying to the finish line.

wanderer was in the competition because of orders, and didn't NEED to fight. he could have continued to toy with everyone, but cyno brought out a different kind of focus in him. i'd like to think he enjoyed that fight, but he was definitely holding back. there were moments where wanderer could have kicked cyno in the face or launched him, but he didn't. and the only reason he attacked was in part because he knew cyno could dodge, and in part because he was keeping cyno distracted long enough for kaveh to come flying in.

it's another testiment to wanderer's strength and even character development. it's one of the reasons he's my favorite character, because while he's still the loner and an asshole at times, he does show his respect toward people in his own way.

#( CHARACTER ANALYSIS. )#( WANDERER VS. CYNO. )#this is my opinion #i love this fight though #i love how strong they both are #it was a really interesting and fun cutscene that showcased both their abilities #i wanna see more stuff like this in the future #long post #i mean it's definitely long

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silverskull · 1 year

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I loved that fic you just posted! And it's not cheating! 🤣🤣

Have you got any other prompt fics you're working on? Thoughts on the next episode?

HELLO ANON

This is like, THE LATEST reply ever, it's absurd, I'm sorry.

But thank you for the compliment. I'm so glad you liked it! (and that it wasn't cheating...)

The way things work for me is I only do one fic at a time. I do not have WiPs. 😅 Mostly because it would drive me mad:

I hate unfinished things,

I'd lose track of something and I would hate to abandon a story,

I want to know the ending as badly as the reader!

I do have an ideas list. I keep brief notes about stuff that pops into my head (usually when commuting or about to go to sleep). These are often the sources of my fics. Ask box prompts also make me *immensely* happy, although I am very slow. I also sometimes can't picture the idea (such as Lucy being insecure or needy. I just don't see her that way and I'd struggle to write it.)

I know your ask was regarding a previous episode, but it is FINALE DAY, AND BOY AM I EXCITED. This time last year was CANDLES and LOVE SURVIVE and PRACTICE KISSING. The world spins so fast...

I have no thoughts for this episode. I can't help my brain thinking, but I usually try not to speculate, because it drives me bananas (I still do it, but I work very hard to be relaxed about it. It's a paradox.) I'm really hoping there'll be a decent smattering of Chenford, despite our buffet in 5x21.

THEN THE HIATUS.

Look - the show runners deserve their break, and despite being an ardent supporter of Union Workers, I am so glad we're missing the writers strike! I really hope things get solved in time for a great launch back into season 6 in the autumn. ALSO - and this is a big one - the long hiatus gives us an enormous chance to develop some fantastic fic. I can't express how much I enjoyed being in the fandom last summer (northern hemisphere summer). 4x22 and the tidbits of spoilers for 5x01 led to such a rich and creative atmosphere amongst everyone, and it got me through a tough few months. I'm looking forward to what the cliffhanger (?!?!) inspires in the fandom almost as much as the episode itself!

Now. I know an entire essay of my own personal ramblings is exactly what you wanted when you sent this ask many moons ago. So I shall leave it with you to digest, and I'm off to make sure my Canadian links are all hooked up and up to date to get ATLANTIC CANADA'S ROOKIE tonight (inside joke there, for the AST commercial viewers). HAPPY FINALE DAY!

#chenford #the rookie #ask reply

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thescrapwitch · 11 months

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⭐⭐⭐

I may not be reading much in the way of LotR/Silmarillion but I'm fascinated by your writing style!

Thank you so much!

And thank you for letting me ramble about a fic very dear to my heart (and very slow to be completed!) "For Want of a Crown".

My first Silmarillion fic started because (after devouring tons of delicious fics and having drawn out the entire timeline of the First Age to try and understand how its plot REALLY worked) I got bored at work. In a notebook, with a purple pen, I wrote "for want of a crown I guess that's the title?" and then just followed the story. No plan or anything, just jumping from character to character, bullet-point style, mostly dialogue, letting it all play out.

I just wrote the first scene and then the next and the next. And every time I returned to it after breaking for real life responsibilities, I would just keep going? Something about not wanting to break the story, or change the colour pen, I don't know? My brain just kept pouring it out until I reached the end and had like 80 pages of a bullet-point fic. I've never written a fic like that before! I joked to my sister that Tolkien's ghost must have possessed me or something. It had a theme, too! The idea of power, what people will do for it and if those decisions are worth it; how a family can be broken up because of this want and if it's worth the sacrifices. I looked back at that entire rough draft and thought "oh that's what this is about!" And it was fun, to take the starting point of the Silmarillion, twist a couple things, and then see where all the dominos would fall.

After some debate, I decided to clean it up and start typing (just for myself) and then, after the first few chapters were polished enough, I thought "why not" and threw them on AO3.

Its a slow process, because even though I have that entire rough draft done there's still lots of places that need to be better filled in (oh god, I am dreading the second Silmaril part!) and character arcs to polish (Galadriel, I'm looking at you, why did you make your arc clear to me SIX CHAPTERS into this story???) but I've been enjoying it. I don't want to rush this one. Its special to me and I'm having fun learning new things and trying to balance all the events and different POVs. Its my attempt at doing a more "epic" long-form fantasy story, with many POVs and covering a very long period of history, with all the family drama a story about power would include, but where all the characters are decent, good people who just make choices that conflict with each other. It's about letting Maedhros be mad at his dad and forcing Feanor to face actual consequences for his decisions; about Maglor seeing everyone's doom but being too broken to warn them about it; about Fingon and Turgon's opposing ideas on faith; about Luthien and Galadriel's friendship; about Aegnor choosing to love Andreth and what becomes of it.

It is very special to me, and, while its not as popular as some of my other fics, I love it very, very much.

#thank you again for the ask #sorry if this was rambly #i just have lots of feelings about this #its a very special fic to me #even if my fingers are slow to finish it #my writing #silmarillion

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moonlightpaladin · 2 years

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Since your character is so new, are there any tropes/scenarios, etc. that you're hoping to explore with them over the course of ffxiv's story? Are they the sort of person who adapts well to hardship and strife?

This is such a good question I had to take a couple days to think on it, and still am not sure how to sound coherent about it, so I figured I'd just go ahead and answer haha

So many!!

His story is obviously a massive work in progress but, the reason Dal is in Eorzea is because his tribe was affected by Dalamud's descent and Bahamut's escape. His tribe worshiped Dalamud before the fall but in a peaceful manner. As it fell, however, they gradually became more fervent and even violent--presumably becoming what he would later come to know as Tempered.

Dalamus, himself, was inexplicably immune to the changes for reasons he did not know, but what he would eventually assume to be due to the Echo. But he could not calm his family nor stop their increasingly violent actions. He had to leave. Maybe he could find a way to help them. Or at the very least, he could find a way to help prevent others from suffering the same fate.

Eventually, I want to write out the slow descent into near-madness that his tribe experienced, and Dal's thought processes as he watched it happen and what was the breaking point that made him decide to leave. I also want to write about the moment where he's told by Thancred that Tempering is permanent, and there's no cure, and what that means for the future of his family.

I want to write him making friends, definitely. He's quite the stoic fellow, and after leaving the tribe he withdrew a lot. A lot of Xaela tribes are extremely close-knit at the exclusion of everyone else, and Dalamus' tribe was similar. Perhaps because of that, lone Xaela tend to draw glances and stir whispers, but he's learned to ignore that and keep to himself. But I think that would make friends more valuable; having other perspectives, more knowledge, sounding boards for ideas, and having people to rely on and who rely on him would help him feel closer to home again. I'm a sucker for Found Family.

It'd be fun to write him in a moment of weakness, when he's normally stoic and quiet. I love when a strong, silent type is forced to--or even better, finally decides to--open up to someone in order to heal.

I'd love to write his potential reunion with his younger sister who was thankfully too young at the time of Dalamud's decent to be strongly affected.

He draws a lot, something he was taught by his father, an herbalist, to help keep notes on plant life that's useful (or harmful), as well as the occasional wildlife or landscape. I've toyed with the idea of him drawing people he's met or those who stuck out to him in one way or another, and keeping "notes" on them in that way, too, haha. He preserves tons memories in a single portable book this way.

He's never shown anyone the sketchbook, and never really had a reason to, but I think it'd be funny if someone caught him drawing them.

With him being so stoic and quiet, I like the idea of him eventually having a group of friends who make a bet on who can make him smile and/or laugh first. It takes a while. Dal is mostly oblivious to it, though, which I think makes it even funnier.

In general I think Dalamus adapts well to hardship. His tribe was largely practical and he's very much a "It is what it is. So what do I do about it now?" kind of person. But in a way, I think it's also bad for him, because the strife is still there, he just shoves it down to deal with it later and then "forgets" to deal with it later. Maybe that's why he enjoys combat a little bit too much? It's a way to offload feelings in a non-obvious manner, or the adrenaline supersedes anything else. I'd have to think about it more

I know the FFXIV world is full of strife and Dal's backstory has already given him a head start on grief, so I just think it'll be nice for him to find people he can be soft around, or at the very least provide him a soft place to land :)

#ough i rambled so much #i try to avoid/ignore spoilers so this will likely be tweaked as time goes by but. yeah :3 #thanks so much for letting me ramble!!#ask #answered #gatheredfates #missy rambles #ooc #missy writing #misc

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popamolly · 7 months

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‘ DANCE WITH THE DEVIL ’ ALASTOR

summary. Amidst the vibrant 1920s in New Orleans, a forbidden love unfolds in the lively jazz-filled atmosphere, evolving from an intoxicating romance to a twisted tale of heartbreak and murder, serving as a reminder to never dance with the devil.

PART ONE | PART TWO | PART THREE

warnings. human!alastor x fem!reader, eventual smut, mature themes, age gap! youre 20 while alastor is in his early 30s, alastor is a serial killer, alastor preys on your innocence, Alastor stalks you, dark romance, angst, gore, death, blood kink, not a happy ending fyi

author’s note.. i want to point out that alastor’s design as a human hasn’t been been revealed/confirmed anywhere by the creator so for this short fic i described him based on his canon creole/european heritage with a few references from popular fan art made by him. I DID NOT make this art, if you know the artists please comment so i can give credit. enjoy sinners.

“Salutations! Good evening everyone, good to be back on the air!” The radio show hosts’ voice comes to life as your Mother turns the nozzle of the small wooden radio slightly to the right just to turn it up a bit more so she could hear it properly. Your ears perk up slightly from across the room, trying your best not to show eagerness since your Mother had already let you stay up past your curfew on the promise you would practice your needlework.

As boring as that was, it was better that being forced into a dark room with no other source of entertainment but your thoughts, “Now for tonight’s program! Courting season is upon us! Birds are chirping with love this year, especially with the prominent Montgomery’s masquerade ball in just a few days time. What do you say folks? Is love in the air for some lucky young souls?”

Your eyes dance across the flickering flames from the fireplace, tugging your blue thread through your quilting weight cotton in deep thought as you take in every word the radio host was saying. It was courting season and you were finally of age to find a suitor. This was finally your time to let go of your home life and become a respectable wife in high society. You weren’t too thrilled really, but you had to be ready to embrace change and find, at least, a decent husband that you could somewhat like and have children with.

It wasn’t much of a dream or aspiration but it was something you had to learn to be content with. Your family name of Duvalier had a strong legacy to upkeep and you knew as the only child in your family you must do your duty and carry on as nothing but an obedient child bearer. All the gowns, makeup, or jewelry in the world couldn’t even make you excited for the next days ahead. You knew it would be nothing but men lined up out the door and into the street with poor attempts of courting now that the announcer finally announced it.

You couldn’t wait to be the bait on the hook for any potential big fish to catch. Note the sarcasm.

“Moving forward to a more serious topic, the police have asked me to inform all of you that yet another body has been found in the Pine Grove Woods. How horrendous! They were dismembered and barely recognizable!” You shivered at the way you could hear him smiling, “Some say it was our missing darling Henrietta O’Hare, could it be? More information to come but do stick around for some of my favorite slow time jazz, perfect for any woman’s ear even the deceased ones, God rest her soul.”

The broadcast began to play some jazz, making you feel as if your brain went in a whirlwind from the information you had just recieved. Another body was found?

“How horrific,” You mother turned down the radio a bit until the jazz music was nothing more but a hum filling the room, “There is some mad man on the loose, probably someone from the poorer districts”

“Or it’s someone of high society,” You suddenly spoke up, glancing toward your Mother before continuing your needlework absentmindedly, why did you always struggle in making flower when it came to embroidery? “Must we always assume it’s someone of lower class?”

“That is quite enough,” Your mother knew that that sharp tongue of yours would be a problem when it came to finding you a husband. She would have to snap it off herself if you were ever to find a decent catch. The last thing she needed was you becoming an old maid and disappointing the family name, “I do believe it is time for you to retire to bed dear. It is a big day for you tomorrow.”

You set down your cloth, standing up from your chair before bowing your head respectfully toward her, “I shall see you in the morning then.”

In the dimly lit hall, a subtle sense of unease washes over you as you ascend the staircase, each step echoing with the weight of looming responsibilities. The second-floor corridor stretches ahead, leading to the room that carries the weight of your familial expectations.

Arriving at your door, you hesitate before entering. The looming prospect of tomorrow's endeavors casting a shadow over your thoughts.

You slip into the vastness of your bedroom, the opulence of the room a stark reminder of the legacy you're bound to uphold. You look up at the family portrait that hung proudly on your wall, your father proud and smiling, it made your heart ache at his absence. You knew your mother was extremely hard on you because now that he was gone, she was all you had left— and she wouldn’t be here forever. Her harshness came from a place of kindness, something that you were force to understand at a young age for the sake of your own emotions and sanity. Regardless, everything still weighed on you and that alone had your body feeling more heavy than usual as you got under your covers that night.

“M-Mother! Is this really necessary?” The shopkeeper and her assistants force a girdle up your plush thighs, roughly scrapping it against your skin, “Ow!”

Your mother sat with a perfect view of you as you stood on a little platform in front of a long mirror, a satisfied smile tugs at her lips, “We need to slim those hips down (Y/N), slim and pretty in the beauty norm now. Be lucky you weren’t a teenager like me in the early 1900s, the corsets were worse.”

You huff just as the workers fix your brassiere, raising your arms so they could help you slip the gown you were going to wear to the ball over your head. It was a Egyptian silk dress that reached right above your ankles, adorned with sparkly sequin. The dress was beautiful, you admired it by looking at your reflection, feeling as though you were getting more confidence to take this courting season in stride.

“Now for a mask! It is a Masquerade ball Ms.Duvalier,” The shopkeeper brings over a glass case, opening it with a soft ‘click!’ to present you with an assortment of different animal themed masks. Your fingers trace over the intricate designs in awe, “Might I suggest one for you? Perhaps you’d like to be a lamb?”

“Innocent, pure, I like it.” Your mother agrees, shooing away the shopkeeper to come step closer to you, a proud look on her face as she looks over your attire.

You stop the shopkeeper before she could walk away by grabbing her arm gently, a small smile on your face as you took out another mask that caught your attention, “But I think the deer suits me better, no?”

“(Y/N), darling, a deer?” Your Mother’s lips turns into a flat line, “Of all things.”

“You are dictating everything I do, the least you can do is let me have is a choice in what mask I wear tonight.” You grabbed the deer mask and held it up. It only covered half of your face, the antlers on either side of the mask were small but so unique you were sure to catch a few stray eyes. It was different— beautiful even, “Please?”

Your mother gave in to your sweet look with a roll of her eyes, “Fine, fine, if you must.”

"Let me package this right along with your evening gown then!" The shopkeeper disappears behind a counter to fold your purchases neatly.

Then the rest of the day went on in a flash. Afternoon tea soon turned into the early evening and you found yourself getting ready with the help of your housemaids. Before you knew it you were exiting the car and stepping onto the stone steps to the Montgomery Estate. You and your mother were welcomed especially among the rest as special guests, your family name carrying a wealth not only through currency but in history as well.

The grand ballroom of the Montgomery house was adorned with shimmering lights and elegant decorations, setting the perfect backdrop for the lively affair. It didn’t take you long before you were swept up by men and their invitations to dance. With your mother’s approval, you glided through the dance floor, the music enveloped you, and the laughter of the partygoers echoed in the air. The atmosphere was electric and you found that just as it was fun to waltz under the shimmering chandeliers, it was also draining.

The gentlemen you danced with varied in charm and conversation skills. Some were charming, others less so, but each dance brought in the hope of marriage. The night progressed and with it the clinking of glasses created a mesmerizing rhythm.

Amidst the whirlwind of conversations, you found yourself being a bit of wallflower now that the night was at its height. With sore feet, you stood along the sidelines and people watched. Faces blurred, and voices almost a distant echo in your mind as you sip your champagne.

Lost in the moment, you couldn't help but wonder if the right dance partner would emerge from the crowd. Perhaps someone would sweep you off your feet like a fairytale knight or you would be one of the lucky ones to fall in love at first sight. Or is that wishful thinking? You didn’t care, your mother controlled everything in your life and you wouldn’t let her control your mind too. Being a hopeful romantic was who you are no matter what high society says. In the midst of it all, you wanted to discover a meaningful connection— love. Was that so bad? You hoped to have a fairytale ending but that dream was becoming less of a reality as the dancers whirled and more of, exactly that, a hopeless dream.

A lady suddenly bumps into you, knocking your champagne glass into your dress, making you spill it all over your gorgeous gown. The woman apologizes profusely but you dismiss it with an understanding smile, knowing that she meant no ill intent and that it was genuinely an accident. Excusing yourself from your mother’s watchful gaze from across the room, you make your way toward the patio that seemed so distant from all the lively entertainment.

Finding privacy on the patio, you began to rubbing your stain with a napkin, nearly cursing at yourself because you only appeared to be making it worse. Your mother would scold you for acting as if you didn’t have the money to replace it with another, better, gown but you couldn’t help it. Unlike her you weren’t so materlistic and flashed your money whenever you got the chance.

“Ah, damn..” You mumbled to yourself.

“You should dab and not rub, my good lady.” A sudden voice from the shadows had you jumping out your skin. You turn to look at the man that emerged, a warm grin on his face as he stepped forward. You were in awe at the fact that his masquerade mask was just like yours, only with bigger antlers to represent that he was a male deer. You saw nothing more than his tan pointy chin and eyes but oh his eyes, they were such a lovely brown that it felt as you were lost in the soil on a rainy day.

“I-I’m sorry?” You were flustered by his mysterious nature, not really catching what he had said only a few second before.

“I said that if you want to save your dress darling, you should dab and not rub.” The man repeated.

You blinked, still taken aback by the unexpected encounter. The man's advice finally registered, and you nodded, grateful for the guidance.

"Thank you," you replied, a small smile playing on your lips. "I appreciate the tip. I suppose I got a bit carried away trying to fix it."

He chuckled, the sound echoing in the quiet patio. "It happens to the best of us. May I?"

He gestured towards the stain, and you took a step back, allowing him to inspect the damage. With surprising grace, he produced a handkerchief from his pocket and dabbed at the spot gently.

"There, that should help. But you might want to have it professionally cleaned once the night is over," he suggested, his eyes locking onto yours.

You couldn't help but feel a flutter in your chest as you met his gaze. The dim light on the patio cast a mysterious aura around him, making you all the more curious. Despite his charm, you couldn't shake the feeling that you knew him from somewhere, his voice and mannerisms creating a sense of familiarity.

"Thank you, really," you said, feeling a bit flustered by the attention. "And who might you be, coming to the rescue like this?"

He bowed slightly, the antlers on his mask making it appear a whimsical gesture. "Call me Alastor. A pleasure to be of service, my dear."

"Alastor," you repeated, committing the name to memory. "I'm (Y/N)—" Before you could properly introduce yourself, the distant melody of the waltz called you back to the ballroom.

"I must return to the party," you sighed, torn between the stranger and the obligations of being a Duvalier.

"And yet you don't seem in a hurry to go," Alastor seemed to hold a playful glint as he observed your inner conflict.

"I suppose I'm caught between the dance floor and the quiet patio" you admitted, a subtle smile playing on your lips. The both of you knowing the real reason you were hesitant to go back inside.

Alastor chuckled, gesturing towards the ballroom with a flourish. "Ah, the dance of courtship. A beautiful spectacle, isn't it? But sometimes, the most enchanting moments happen away from the crowd."

His words resonated with a certain truth, and you found yourself drawn to the charm of his demeanor. Alastor extended his hand, an invitation for another dance under the moonlit night on the patio.

"Care for a dance out here, away from the crowd?" he proposed, his smile inviting.

Caught in the magnetic pull of his charisma, you nodded, the soreness of your feet magically disappearing once you place your hand in his. The two of you waltzed gracefully under the soft glow of the patio lights, away from the watchful eyes. The music seemed to follow you, creating a private serenade for this impromptu dance.

As you swirled in Alastor's arms, you couldn't help but feel a sense of liberation. The night air was cool, and the courtyard offered a break from the bustling festivities. In that moment, it was just you, Alastor, and the dance that unfolded between you.

The waltz under the moonlit patio seemed to be a dance outside the constraints of time, but eventually, the music came to a graceful end. Alastor gently released your hand, and with a lingering gaze, he proposed an idea that sparked curiosity.

"You know," he said, his voice a suggestive murmur, "there's a hidden gem not too far from here. A jazz club with live music that's simply captivating. Care to join me for a bit more magic tonight?"

"Well, I-" You glanced back into the ballroom, noticing your mother conversing with other senior patrons, hardly knowing your absence just yet, but it wouldn't be long before she bound off in search of you. Though you were reeled back into Alastors light touch and warm embrace, noting that if you were to listen to people order you about constantly everyday then you had to take some charge back when it came to your life.

Intrigued by the idea of an adventure beyond the ballroom, you nodded, a spark of excitement filling you. Alastor led the way, guiding you through the elegant corridors and towards the exit as swiftly as possible, thankful avoiding your mother. As you stepped outside, the cool night air embraced you, and the distant sound of jazz music reached your ears, beckoning you closer.

The jazz club was dimly lit, with the smooth rhythms of a saxophone and the sultry voice of a singer weaving through the air. Alastor found a secluded spot, and the two of you settled in, immersed in the ambiance. The music stirred something within and your heart fluttered with every stolen glance between you and Alastor.

A waitress brought over drinks and your eyes widened as you take a sip of the alcoholic beverage, it certainly wasn't champagne since this was something you noticed only your father would drink. It was dark, and a bit stronger than you were used to but you welcomed the stinging taste.

Alastor's company proved to be as enchanting as the jazz melodies. His conversation flowed effortlessly, and there was a certain ease in the air, as if time itself slowed down within the walls of the club.

Suddenly, the jazz club went into an energetic uproar as the music changed to one of something slow to fast-paced. Couples cheered in their drunken haze, hurrying to the dance floor to do the most outlandish dance moves you have ever seen. It was exciting to say the least and you couldn't help but laugh, wishing you could join them on the dance floor.

Noticing your new found excitement, Alastor stood up from the table, "Care for a bit of the Charleston, my dear?" Alastor suggested, the upbeat rhythm of the music pulsating through the club.

As Alastor extended his hand, inviting you to join him for the lively dance, a flicker of uncertainty crossed your eyes. The fast-paced, energetic dance was vastly different from the graceful waltzes you were accustomed to. At that a wave of shyness washes over you.

"I must confess," you admitted with a shy smile, "I've only ever danced the waltz. Other dance moves are not exactly seen as… ladylike."

Instead of pushing, Alastor offered a reassuring smile.

"Well, my dear, tonight is about breaking away from tradition and embracing the unexpected. Let's make tonight a dance to remember."

Encouraged by his words, you took a deep breath to find your confidence, allowing Alastor to guide you into the heart of the lively dance floor. As the vibrant jazz music played, you hesitantly followed his lead, attempting the steps of the Charleston. Alastor's patient guidance and enthusiasm gradually eased your nerves, and soon enough, you found yourself swept up away in the joyful dance.

The jazz club became a haven, a place where your worries were melted away. As you twirled and spun with Alastor, you discovered a newfound freedom in embracing different dance styles. Laughter bubbled up, and the initial shyness transformed into an exhilarating sense of freedom.

"Thank you for this, I suppose I did need the escape," you confessed, a genuine smile playing on your lips as you raise your glass. "I’m glad to have met you Alastor."

Alastor's eyes held a warmth that mirrored the sentiment and as the night unfolded, Alastor's mysterious charm seemed to intensify. After the spirited Charleston dance, he excused himself with a playful glint in his eyes, leaving you alone in the midst of the joyful chaos.

"I'll be back in just a moment, my dear," Alastor promised with a charismatic smile, a faint air of mystery surrounding his departure.

You watched as he disappeared into the crowd, the jazz music continuing to pulse through the club. The energy of the dance floor seemed to heighten in his absence, and you found yourself standing alone, surrounded by the laughter and movement of the other couples.

Time passed, and as the seconds turned to minutes and the minutes turned to an hour, you realized that Alastor's promise of returning might not be true.

A mix of emotions washed over you – a blend of disappointment and concern. You scanned the crowded dance floor and cozy corners of the club, but there was no sign of Alastor. The night had taken an unexpected turn, and you were left standing alone, thinking of what to do next. Had you been so stupid in believing you could find a charming man with just the snap of your fingers?

You decided to leave and face the more familiar, if not comforting, atmosphere of the night.

Upon returning home, your eyes welled up with tears, a mixture of disappointment and the frustration of having allowed yourself to be swept away by the night's excitement. The elegant facade you presented to the world cracked, revealing vulnerability.

Your mother, ever watchful and concerned, hurried over to the entrance hall noticing the distress on your face as you entered the house. The delicate mask of composure you wore during the night shattered in that moment, replaced by a glimpse of the real emotions beneath.

"Where have you been? What happened?" your mother inquired, her tone a mix of worry and disapproval, “And returning so late, have you forgotten that there is a killer on the loose?”

In a trembling voice, you explained the evening's events from the Charleston dance and Alastor's mysterious departure. There was no point in hiding it from your mother when she had eyes and ears everywhere. It would only come to her ears eventually.

Your mother, unimpressed, scolded you for venturing into unfamiliar places and allowing yourself to be misled.

"You should have known better than to let a stranger take you away like that! This is not how a lady conducts herself, especially a Duvalier! Are you sure no one saw you together? You could ruin yourself with this! Stupid girl," she chastised.

The scolding words stung, and tears rolled down your cheeks. You rushed up the stairs to your room, seeking solace in the sanctuary of your room.

Behind the closed door, you allowed yourself to release the pent-up emotions. You slid down the door as the echoes of the jazz club were now replaced by the quiet sobs that filled the room. It was harsh reality to face that your wishful thinking had could have blinded you from someone who wanted nothing but moment of company.

You brought your knees to your chest, your fingertips gripping into your arms so harshly in frustration as you realize that you never should have let him help you. Better yet, you never should have danced with him.

Be sure to leave a comment & let me know if you want to be added to the tag list for this story so you’re updated whenever I drop a new chapter! xo

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timeoverload · 1 year

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I'm not sure what to think right now. I don't know what you want from me. I'm not going to go on Saturday if you are going to send me mixed messages. I'm not going to be mad if you don't want me to be there that day. I don't want to push you to do something you don't want to do. I'm just confused because I thought you wanted me to be there. I feel like I'm being extremely clingy and annoying so maybe I should just wait 2 more weeks. I do want to spend time with you but I don't want anyone to be stressed.

We may have a telepathic connection but that doesn't mean I can read your mind all the time. I know I'm not always right either. I wish it was that simple. It's so strange. I don't really understand how it works and I have been trying to figure that out for a long time. I don't know how to explain it to anyone.

I'm not sure what I said that upset you and I'm sorry. I know I say stupid stuff sometimes. I just want to clarify that I haven't told anyone about all of this except for the people that read my posts. I was referring to other people on the internet when I said that everyone thinks I'm crazy. I wish I had a friend that I could talk to about it with confidentially but I don't so I guess I will keep talking to myself. I don't think a therapist could help me in this situation either. I have a feeling they would try to put me in the psych ward.

I'm not intending to do anything to hurt your business's reputation because I enjoy going there and I care about all of you. I'm not trying to get anyone in trouble so that's why I haven't said anything to anyone.

I have been thinking about things all day and there's probably more that I need to say but I literally can't focus anymore. I'm sorry again for being a crab. I know I'm not always easy to get along with sometimes. I hope everything gets better soon. I love you Maxwell! 💖💖💖

Today kind of sucked because I couldn't get 5 minutes of peace. I'm socially drained. I have been doing so much teaching. It's nice to be talking to people more but my head is throbbing now. This morning was pretty slow-paced for me but it was super busy this afternoon because I had 3 rooms going. The second to last eye case turned into a shit show and they had to bring in another doctor so it took almost 2 hours. I got to leave before they started the last surgery because they didn't bring the patient back until after 6. The surgical tech doing that case was kind enough to cover for me and clean up when they were done so I wouldn't have to stay longer because I was already there late. I didn't get home until 6:30.

I haven't done much since I got here because my body hurts. I had to put my feet up for a while because my ankles are so swollen and I think I need to get some new compression socks.

I have been pretty good about eating enough lately and I feel like I've gained a decent amount of weight. I'm just not hungry right now and my anxiety is making it feel like my stomach is in knots again. I got food from the cafeteria for lunch and I don't think that's helping because it was bad. Sometimes it's really good and other times I feel like I'm eating prison food. It has made me sick before. I bought a blueberry muffin earlier and I will probably just end up eating that for dinner. I guess it's better than nothing.

I'm really tired and I stayed up too late again last night but that's nothing new. I need to try to relax and get ready for bed soon so I probably should stop rambling. I hope tomorrow is better than today. I will keep trying my best to stay positive even though it's really hard right now.

Thanks for listening to me. I hope everyone has a wonderful evening. 💖

#personal

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rei-caldombra · 1 year

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Jujutsu Kaisen S2 (Prequel eps) pulled me back into this story. Summer 2023 Anime

I liked Jujutsu Kaisen when it first came out. The presentation was excellent, and I thought it was at its best when it was just having fun and showing off cool powers. When it came to the story elements and more dramatic angles, I did not feel super invested. I didn't dislike the story or its attempts at being serious, I just didn't feel much towards it. I also did not see JJK Zero, and for clarity I am anime only (If I do not mention the source material at all in a review, please assume I have not read it). Not intentionally, but because I didn’t get around to it at the time then forgot about it. JJK wasn’t an anime that stuck out in my mind strongly. I just thought it was a great show that other people seemed to enjoy a bit more than I did. Not that there's anything wrong with that. The point of this is to say I barely thought about Jujutsu before watching this and remembered very few fine details.

Despite that I absolutely loved it. It's very impressive how much they accomplished in just 5 episodes. These episodes successfully got me reinvested in the grander story, characters and dramatic elements. The rest of this will contain some direct spoilers, especially for episode 5 where I go into the most detail.

As usual the overall presentation is fantastic, not much to say there. The fights look awesome, the characters move very smoothly and with great expression. One of the best-looking shows out there.

The funnier side of JJK is strongly present here, which I appreciate as I did before. For me JJK excels at portraying characters having goofy and interesting interactions. Usually people are like “cmon, get back to the action!”. For me it was the opposite, I wanted the villains to go away so everyone could go back to having fun. The fights that had comedy mixed in were the ones I generally liked the most. I don’t think fights need to feel as if they have life or death in the balance to be engrossing. I love a good high-tension fight too, but my general preference for series I like is having a good balance of comedy and drama. JJK before now was a series I thought had great comedy and decent drama. With these episodes I now know at its best it can excel at both.

Tbh, I barely remembered Geto existed before watching this. But they still managed to make me buy into Geto and Gojo's friendship very quickly. They have a very good dynamic. Which makes what happens later far more compelling.

So, onto episode 5. This is some of the best setup for a villain I've seen. His slow descent into darkness feels very organic and real. Descent into madness was the first phrase to come to my mind earlier but that would not be accurate. He is not insane. He is coming from a place of logic. It's incredibly immoral but comes from sane thinking. I also like how his idea came from a very direct but very casual conversation as well. Him getting tired of basically putting Band-Aids on a massive wound and wanting to tackle the root issue is a very real way of thinking about serious problems in the world. It makes complete sense for both him and the other Jujutsu Sorcerers at the top of the power scale like Yuki consider the ways they can get out of the cycle. He is sane and follows a perspective we can understand, which makes him much more compelling for me. Just the simple detail of having a year pass makes a huge difference. The editing and presentation lend so much to Geto’s declining mental and physical wellbeing. The way they actually had him appear physically unwell during his time of contemplation is such great detail that really drives how much the events of episode 4 impacted him. And this detail strengthens his position even further by having him go back to appearing healthy when he chooses his path. The use of perspective and framing is fantastic for portraying his emotion at various points.

These episodes made me much more interested in the world than I had been before. The way cursed energy works is pretty interesting, and the topic of the scene with Yuki is the perfect situation for reminding viewers how it works. I think these episodes did a good job of re-explaining things for the people who forgot details from S1 (me lol). At times I do think the explanations took away from the pacing of the fights and could absolutely be considered info dumping, but overall they work fine and aren’t a huge detriment. The element of powers being stronger if they are explained helps alleviate that issue and is frankly a stroke of genius by the other so they can more easily get away with info dumping.

After watching these 5 episodes, I am starting to see what elevates this above other shounen for a lot of people. I’m really looking forward to the rest of season 2! I will watch Zero soon and will remind myself of important details from the first season before continuing on, promise! Thanks for reading!

#anime #review #jujustu kaisen #jjk spoilers #jjk #summer 2023

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taetown410 · 2 years

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♤ Introduction To The Characters ♤

- Who Everyone Will Be

Notes: This will just be an intro to who each of the members will be, and what they'll be wearing throughout the story. The reader in the story will be older (around twenty-years-old), since in the original book she's like seven. None of these personalities are true to how the actual members of Seventeen/NCT/The Boyz are. This is purely for entertainment purposes.

____________________________________

Scoups - Will Be (The Queen Of Hearts)

Personality/Role:

He is new to the throne, but is just about be the same as the old Queen of Hearts. He adores the color red and is very demanding. He constantly feels a lingering sense of purpose, he believes this is ruling the kingdom the way he does. And he's willing to do whatever it takes to stay king and let the kingdom "prosper".

____________________________________

Jeonghan - Will Be (The Caterpiller)

Personality/Role:

He is calm, collected, and testing. He only speaks in slow sentences that sound like nonsense. He lives in the far part of Wonderland, in the mushroom forest. He doesn't like much play, unlike the other residents of Wonderland. He sits on his mushroom and contemplates his thoughts. if anyone were to give him advice, he'd dismiss it and tell them they're wrong.

____________________________________

Joshua - Will Be (The White Queen)

Personality/Role:

The younger brother of the King of Hearts, he is exactly the opposite. While the king is calculated, aloof, and tempermental, the white king is eccentric, knowing, and patient. He enjoys sitting in the garden with the catapiller and having 'important' talks.

____________________________________

Jun & Minghao - Will Be (The Cheshire Cat)

Personality/Role:

The sons of the Cheshire cat, 'The Cheshire Siblings'. They will fill the role of the cheshire cat, and they behave almost the same their father. They spend most of their time hanging out in the trees. They 'help Alice [Reader] get to the right path.

____________________________________

Wonwoo & Mingyu - Will Be (Tweedle-Dum & Tweedle-Dee)

Personality/Role:

After losing their way in Wonderland themselves like Alice, the 'Dee' twins have started only speaking in Riddlish (Wonderland Language. Basically just confusing sentences and phrases). They reside in the forest just a ways away from The March Hare's house.

____________________________________

Hoshi - Will Be (Dinah [Alice's Cat])

Personality/Role:

Soonyoung is Alice's [the reader's] cat. He was with her before her decent to Wonderland. After wishing her cat was there to catch the dormouse, the cat then transforms into a human. A human now wishing to be called Hoshi. Hoshi then accompanies Alice [Reader] on her adventure throughout Wonderland from that point on.

____________________________________

Woozi - Will Be (The Dormouse)

Personality/Role:

Primarily only having tea-parties with the Hatter and the March Hare, the dormouse is expectantly the first one to try to get Alice to leave. He carries a sword in one hand and is very judgmental, but offer a cup of tea, and he's lowered his guard.

____________________________________

DK - Will Be (The Mad Hatter)

Personality/Role:

After working in a hat making shop that went wrong, the DK wound up in Wonderland. Now he is having a never-ending tea-party with the dormouse and the march hare. He loves games and messing with the white rabbit, since their table is on the path to the queen of heart's Palace.

____________________________________

Seungkwan - Will Be (The White Rabbit)

Personality/Role:

He is jittery and nervous around people who are higher in power, but confident and judging around people who are "lower". The White Rabbit is very serious about his time, and how he spends it. He used to love drinking tea with the Hatter, until.....

____________________________________

Vernon - Will Be (The Dodo [The Giant Bird])

Personality/Role:

Not much is to be said about the Dodo, except that he shows up quite a lot. He's with the band of animals, the mock turtle, and with Alice during the trial. He is very polite however and tries to hear everyone s opinions before making a decision. His outfit will look like this.

____________________________________

Dino - Will Be (The March Hare)

Personality/Role:

The march hare is very...eccentric, to say the least. He is another one who enjoys messing with the white rabbit. He often accompanies The Hatter and The Dorm Mouse to daily tea parties. He lives somewhere near the forest.

____________________________________

The Reader - Is/Will Be (Alice)

Personality/Role:

She lives a 'normal' life in 'Demanebtonlliwtahtecalp' ('Placethatwillnotbenamed'). Though she has a hard time truly enjoying herself lately. Since recently, her brother Taeil moved in and tries his best to cheer her up, however she goes missing. What happened?

____________________________________

Special Guests - Secondary Characters [NCT (no specific unit) & The Boyz]

Juyeon - Will Be (The Knave of Spades)

Personality/Role:

He assists the king with whatever he asks. Which is a lot. But, he secretly wants to become the new king of hearts. So, he's kind of a suck up, but he's great at his job. He seems to really 'care' about the kingdom.

____________________________________

NCT Dream - Will Be (The Jury [During The Trial])

Personality/Role:

They are pretty adamant about being a good jury, even though they're not. They mostly just talk amongst themselves and write down nonsense, but they are the jury so we have to listen to them.

____________________________________

WayV - Will Be (The Band of Animals [During The Flood of Tears])

Personality/Role:

They were honestly just some regular humanoid animals trying to have a good time, until water comes flooding in out of nowhere ruining there fun. They don't really show up much besides at the flood of years and the trial, but they do make an impact.

____________________________________

Johnny - Will Be (The Judge)

Personality/Role:

He honestly just wants the trial to be over so he could have some tea. If we're being for real, he doesn't even want to be here. And since he's the judge he could end the trial, but he doesn't want the king to take his head. He mainly just seems like he's trying to make the most out of nothing.

____________________________________

Taeil - Will Be (Alice's Sister [Brother])

Personality/Role:

Taeil was very aware of his sister's distaste for....anything, so their mother sent him to Alices' [Reader] to live with her for a while. He has no idea how he was supposed to make her feel better, but he'll try his best, no matter what is takes.....

____________________________________

Jacob - Will Be (The Mock Turtle)

Personality/Role:

The Mock Turtle doesn't really have any role but to be confusing and to provide a little bit of clues. He's found after the tea party with the Hatter.

____________________________________

Kevin - Will Be (The Trial Reader)

Personality/Role:

The Trial Reader is honestly just here for the vibes, and is only alive because he constantly complies with the kings crazy orders. This doesn't mean he's completely safe though, but safe enough to make snarky comments. He fufills the kings every orders with trials and courwork, this let's him keep his head.

____________________________________

A/N: I'm so sorry, I literally ghosted this story, but I finally got this out. I honestly just wanted to watch more content from each group to get a feel of how they act, to add things in the story.

But, I'm kind of excited to actually start the story, I already have some ideas to add into the plot.

-----------------------------------------------

taetown410 /// Main Masterlist /// Dream Of Me In Wonderland Masterlist

#taetown410 #seventeen fluff #seventeen imagines #alice in wonderland #nct imagines #the boyz imagines

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sukirichi · 3 years

Text

sweet lies (m.)

His lies were way too sweet – and you were too addicted to make him stop.

cw. oral (f receiving), fingering, slight body worship, public sex, multiple orgasm, orgasm denial, dirty talk, praising, titty sucking, nsfw, toxic megumi, fwb, slight angst, the traditional unedited fic

note. choose your fighter, megumi or sukuna 😈 and thank you to besties nie and ellie for editing this STOP SHOWING YOUR ANKLES CHIRREN

series masterlist | 01 | 02 | 03

Megumi slides your shirt down your shoulder to press kisses on the bare skin. Your head tilted to the side to give him easier access. You hate that you feel so weak around him, your hands gripping his thigh you’re currently straddling, already so breathless from his teasing ministrations.

“You should move back closer to campus,” he mutters at the juncture of your neck, pulling another soft gasp from you the moment his fingers dip inside your damp underwear. You feel him smile at your skin, using his deft fingers to push two of them inside your sopping hole. He pumps them in slowly, teasingly slow, coaxing your arousal to coat his fingers while you grind against his palm, eyes shut tight from the pulling knot in your stomach.

“It’s hard to fuck you when you’re a half-hour drive away.”

You scoff against him and roll your eyes. “I wonder why I got kicked out from the dorms in the first place.” Exactly two weeks ago, Megumi snuck in drunk and horny into your dorms, shaking you awake to get rid of his boner.

It was a sloppy quickie, mostly because he’s eaten brownies and got fuck drunk before stumbling beside your bed. The insensitive idiot left his rum bottle under your bed just as he wobbles back to his frat house, and as if things couldn’t get worse, there was a surprise dorm inspection the next day. Not only did they find cum stains all over your sheets, but your bed also reeked of weed and alcohol, resulting in a quick expulsion from the dorms.

If it weren’t for the help of one of your professors, Gojo-sensei, you wouldn’t have been able to find a decent, cheap apartment. It came with the price of rooming with one of his old acquaintances, a muscular, heavily tattooed guy who seemed to be a few years older than you.

He really wasn’t a bad roommate. Other than the fact he seemed really intimidating, the dude mostly kept to himself, either locked in his room or away for work that you don’t really get to see him that much. His place was decent too, your room bigger than the last, so it was a good deal, but as Megumi said, it’s really hard to fuck around when you’re so far away.

“Not my fault, you’re so weak for me, baby,” he taunts as you tighten around him, his pace increasing with his lips sucking love marks on your skin. You can’t help but snicker at his actions; if you didn’t know better, you’d say he was jealous.

But this was Megumi you were talking about – everyone knew he never got jealous.

“I don’t like you here.”

“Aw, sucks for you.”

“I’m serious,” he grips your waist tighter, drawing a drawled-out moan from you. Megumi rubs your clit with his thumb and swallows your moans through open-mouthed kisses, your fists balled into his hoodie. Fuck this, you’re completely aware he’ll never like you the way you like him, but it’s so hard to feel sad about that when he’s knuckle deep inside you and playing you like a violin. As much as you hated him and his pretty face, you have to admit his fingers were fucking magical.

Megumi nips at your lower lip before thrusting his fingers in and out of you at a numbing pace, not taking long until you’re creaming all over his hands. You pant at the orgasm, head falling back into his shoulder.

He brushes your hair away from your eyes and kisses the side of your head, the gesture way too sweet for someone who insisted on a ‘no-strings attached’ sexual relationship. But you don’t complain – this is like a dream come true for you – allowing him to leave a trail of kisses down your jaw instead, his wet hands squeezing your thighs in a possessive grip.

“You should just live with me. I’m not comfortable with the fact you live with a man.”

There’s a trace of jealousy behind his voice that you’d normally swoon at, but he’s pushing you to the edge and fucking around with your feelings so much that you can’t even enjoy the rare moment. You push yourself off him and reach for your discarded shorts on the floor, sliding the material over your legs while Megumi shamelessly stares at your ass behind you, his head resting on his hands.

“Megs, I barely even talk to the guy; he’s always away at work. You’ve really got nothing to worry about,” you tell him, making quick work of tidying your school packets just to ignore his heated gaze. “Besides, you and I aren’t even dating. Don’t get your panties in a twist.”

“You never hold back with your words, huh?”

You shot him a look, an angry glare that should be threatening, but the glint in his eyes just tells you he’s enjoying every second of it. “You like it.”

“Hmm, maybe I do,” Megumi tugs you back to the bed, effortlessly, as he flips you under him. In this position, he’s situated right between your bodies, hands clasped against one another. He’s absolutely stunning, bathed in the sliver of the moonlight, in your bed, no less. You’re a flurry of emotions – stuck between wanting to fuck him and kissing him, and then scream at him to let him know he should stop playing with your heart.

Megumi’s eyes darken as he traces over your silhouette, watching the way your chest falls heavily at his touches. He uses one hand to trace the tip of his finger from your breast down to your clothed core, a smirk painting his lips when you buck your hips up at the contact.

Fuck him, fuck him, fuck him.

“Just promise me you’re not letting others see your pretty pussy okay?” he tugs your shorts to the side, tongue darting out to lick at his lips at the sight of your glistening folds. You’ve lost count of the times he’s made you cum tonight with just his fingers; the raging hard-on hidden behind his sweatpants is proof that he’s quite different today by letting you get fuck-drunk on him first. Perhaps it’s his way of keeping you so helplessly wrapped around his finger, fucking you good enough that no one else comes second to him, and he knows this. He sees this from the desire pooled in your eyes.

Megumi scoots down lower to stare at your pussy, which is already embarrassing since you’re so wet down there. He simply sighs at your bare cunt before him, using two fingers to pull the lips apart, followed by a groan at the apparent slick. “This is all mine.”

In your lust-filled haze, you scrunch your eyebrows and sneer, “How about you mind your own business?”

“The fuck did you just say?” he chuckled, his warm breath tickling your inner thighs. “You’re mine, babe. Haven’t I fucked you enough to drill in that in your pretty little head?” Megumi doesn’t waste his time diving straight to your eager, awaiting core. Your hands fly down to tug at his hair as you grind your hips to his face, legs weak from his lips wrapped tightly around your clit. “You know I’ll get mad if you touch anyone else.”

“Fuck off, Megumi,” you spat out, “We’ve been fooling around for a year, and you still refuse to date me every time I ask you out officially. Listen, I understand you’re not ready for that kind of relationship, so you could at least respect that you don’t get the exclusivity of keeping me all to yourself.” Truly, this rebellion is so uncalled for and unexpected. The moment you had your eyes on him and made it your life’s mission to win him over, not once had you complained that he never wanted to take things a step further. But it’s been too long, too fucking long, and too many no baby’s already – your pride was beyond crushed. It was about time you set the boundaries this time, and you quiver around his skillful tongue, strong and firm as you rasp, “I’ll fuck whoever I want.”

“You’re lying.”

“What?”

“You love me,” Megumi pulls away from your clit with an audible pop, his face glistening from the smeared juices all over his cheeks. However, his eyes are narrowed, almost as if he’s scrutinizing you. You can’t focus on the fact he denied you of your orgasm because he’s looking at you so seriously, only to tilt his head to the side, a smirk playing on his lips. “It’s written all over your face.”

“Maybe I do, but are you deserving of it?” you push his head away and ignore the aching in your chest. Megumi shuffles close to you, pulling you in for another cuddling session before you hide under the sheets, making it clear you were not to be touched anymore. “Go home, Megs. I’m tired.”

In all honesty, you want him to stay. You want him to fight harder to win your approval back. He’s not a big cuddler, more of the type to pass out beside you after he’s gotten his own orgasm, but you’ve been so sure that maybe he might be different today. Under the sheets, your lip trembles in anticipation, eyes blinking wide at the dark silhouette outside your metaphorical shield. But as Megumi playfully slaps your ass, his warmth leaving the bed, you’re not really surprised.

He never stayed the night before – why would he do that now?

Silly girl, you chastised yourself.

“Fine. But I’ll be back tomorrow,” you hear him scuffle for his shoes outside, a smile evident in his voice as his words float around the silence of your apartment. “Wear my favourite set like a good girl for me?”

“Go away!”

Megumi’s laughter echoes all the way to where you curl yourself into a ball. You hate that his laughter alone makes your heart skip a beat, even if it doesn’t carry any affection behind then. “See you then, baby,” is all he says before the door slams shut, leaving you alone to your thoughts and insecurities all over again.

His lies were way too sweet – and you were too addicted to make him stop.

You’ve really hit rock bottom; that’s the only explanation for your actions. Megumi was coming over in a few hours, unsurprising that he chooses 3 AM of all times. Not only did it mean his frat brothers would be asleep, but it also meant that his other side bitches would assume he’s doing the same. You know, of course, you fucking know you’re not the only one, but it didn’t hurt any less.

The pain just keeps getting worse every time you think of him, said thoughts always comprised with your shirt trapped between your teeth and your hands down your pants. There’s no denying you’re addicted to him, though being addicted to a never-ending heartbreak was a different story.

A story which you’re not ready to find out yet, so you dress up in your sexiest dress and take the nearest cab, heading to a place where you definitely shouldn’t be.

Two more hours before Megumi arrives. Two more hours before you fall into that endless cycle of fucking and him leaving you alone, promising he’ll be back tomorrow, before it all repeats and traces back to square one. He’s not going to stop, and neither are you, so where was any of this supposed to go now? He doesn’t want you, not in that way, that very much is clear – so why was it so hard to let go of him?

Deep down at the back of your mind, you know your answer. It’s because, like the lovesick fool you are, you’re still hoping that maybe someday he’ll look at you the way you look at him.

Fuck it, is all you think of as you flash the bouncer your ID, not missing the way his eyes fall down your tits that are so close to popping out of your dress a minute longer than welcomed. Snatching your card away from him, you push against the crowd, immediately regretting coming here as the loud thumping of music and stench of sex and alcohol washes over your senses.

You make a beeline for the empty bar, save for the bartender who had his back turned to you as he wipes the glasses over.

You clear your throat to make your presence known. The first thing you see is a broad back, thick lines of dark tattoos outlined even in his white button-up shirt. He places the glasses down and moves expertly before you, sliding shot glasses next to others before procuring a drink out of nowhere, a greeting about to leave his lips when you both make eye contact.

The drink stays still on his hands, blinking for a moment at your equally stupefied face before he says, “It’s you.”

“S-Sukuna,” you greet back, smiling at your roommate. You’ve barely seen the guy the past few weeks other than sleepy good morning’s, and I’ll take the trash out tonight before both of you disappeared into your own worlds.

Sukuna is...well, you don’t know, exactly. It’s not like he’s around much for you to make a proper judgment of, but he’s a pretty nice roommate, filling up the fridge whenever you guys run out of beer. There were times he nods at you as a greeting before leaving for work, too, leaving you alone at the house from midnight all the way to the morning. Other than thinking your roommate is pretty unique from his face tattoos and roguish handsomeness that contrasts his rather frequent sleepy mumbles, you’ve failed to realize he could actually be like a normal human. Seeing him stand before you, his forearms lined with veins and his sleeves rolled up to his elbows, taut waist emphasized by a black vest, you swallow audibly.

He’s entirely different from the guy you often see passed out on the couch, but it’s a welcomed sight, nonetheless.

Sukuna’s actually...pretty hot.

Hiding the thumping of your heart – whether out of nervousness or it’s just trying to match the beat of the music – you beam up at him, eyes glossed over with curiosity as he reciprocates with a more mischievous grin.

If he’s easily read your mind that you are indeed attracted to him, he makes no comment about it, focusing on hearing your voice over the music instead.

He leans over to you, not pulling away even as your lips faintly graze his ear. Fuck, he’s got piercings too. You greedily drink in his masculine scent, thankful that the music thumping is so loud he won’t hear the frenzy mess inside your ribcage.

“I didn’t know you worked here. Heck, I didn’t know you were a bartender, but I guess the irregular sleep patterns make sense somehow.”

“What did you think I was, sweetheart?”

His deep voice reverberates all the way down to your toes, his throaty chuckle hoarse. “I-I don’t know,” you pull away nervously, blinking up at him way too innocently. “A gangster, to be honest,” you blurted out. Sukuna tilts his head to the side, and you immediately raise your hands beside your head as you mull over how offensive your words might’ve been. “I don’t mean anything offensive by it, I swear! It was just my first impression!”

“First impressions are usually false. Anyway. It’s fine,” he shrugs, resuming his task of wiping over the glasses.

His hands were so big, his fingers long and slender...your attention is drawn to the adept manner of how he wipes the cloth using the tip of his finger, reaching behind him to get another glass, all without keeping his eyes off of yours. It leaves much room to muse about what else he could do with those hands, and you squirm at your seat, opting to look at his face instead since that would be more polite than eye-fucking his hands.

Sukuna smirks, that cunning twinkle in his eyes matching the dim lights of the bar. Somehow, you suddenly feel so lightheaded.

“If it makes you feel better, I thought you were a shy girl at first, but your boy toy brings a different side of you every time he comes around.”

You squeak in embarrassment, “You’re home by then?!”

“Only sometimes,” he reassures with a laugh. “But I’ve heard enough,” Right. He’s older and definitely more experienced than your sexual escapades with Megumi – this must be nothing new to him by now, and yet, your skin flushes heated. “Don’t look too flustered, sweetheart. It’s not the first time I’ve heard of that,” he nods at you, “You don’t look very happy with him, though.”

“Tch, now you’re assessing my relationship status?”

“I don’t have to,” he shrugs, the gesture so damn reassured. Chuckling at your apparent frown, Sukuna shakes his head to himself. “It’s written all over your face you’re not satisfied with something. You wouldn’t be here if you were feeling good in the first place.”

“How much have you heard?”

“Oh, I don’t care about how you scream his name. That’s none of my business,” he grumbles under his breath rather bitterly – but that could just be the music messing with you. Sukuna holds your gaze as he sets the final glass down before you, his elbows languidly resting on the counter that separates you both. You’re left staring at him in wonder, watching the way he pours the drink right in front of you, the movement of his lips so intoxicating and even erotic you nearly didn’t hear him say, “But as your roommate, I wish you’d stop inviting him around and just kick him out already. He doesn’t like you, you know.”

He doesn’t like you. Megumi doesn’t like you – you know that already.

Glare deepening at your surprisingly nosy roommate, you take the glass from him and down it in one go. Sukuna’s brows shot up in awe, arms crossed against his puffed-out chest as you slam the glass down.

You were fuming.

“You don’t know a single fucking thing about me.”

“That’s right, I don’t,” he answers without skipping a beat, “But we men, we understand each other,” You open your mouth to retort, silenced by Sukuna’s finger pressing against your lips. You freeze at the contact, and Sukuna makes use of your state, continuing right where he left from.

“Listen, take it from me as free advice. I’ll even put your drink on the house.”

Really, nothing is stopping you from biting off this guy’s finger, but he looks like he knows something you don’t that you just choose to keep your mouth shut.

Satisfied at your decision, Sukuna smiles sweetly, reaching over to tuck your hair behind your ear. The gesture puts you under his spell, and he lingers there a little longer, massaging the lobes of your ears before he pulls back just as fast, almost as if he never touched you in the first place.

You fight back the urge to huff.

Why were men so complicated? One moment, they were hot, then cold the next. You would just never get it.

“That guy you’ve been mooning over for who knows how long? He doesn’t give a fuck about you. You’re just someone who warms his cock every now and then, but I guarantee he’s thinking about someone else in his head when he’s with you,” he announces straightforwardly, not giving you the time to recover before he shrugs like his words didn’t just slap you in the face. “Just call quits on him, sweetheart. There’s really no need to waste such a pretty face. Ever heard of the saying – there’s plenty of fish in the sea?” he pushes another drink to you, “Drink up and loosen a little. With a face and body like that, you’ll find someone better soon.”

“I highly doubt I can find someone better when all everyone sees is my appearance.”

“I don’t,” he hinted with dark eyes, “But I assure you it might be what people see first. You do have a face of an angel; men are into that shit.”

Taking the drink from him with a loud sigh, you feel yourself weaken. You bury your head in your hands, replaying all the memories you’ve had with Megumi. It’s foreseeable that almost all of them consisted of you two fucking, nothing but a faint memory of two where Megumi actually cared enough to perform aftercare. The thought makes you wince; he really is an ass, but you’re also so hopelessly infatuated with him that you refuse to acknowledge the truth.

“Megs and I...we’re just complicated, okay?”

“Sure.”

“I swear!” your defenses are hopelessSukuna’s knowing smirk, the man holding back a snigger from your silent rage. “Besides, maybe his disinterested nature is what made me attracted to him in the first place. I like the mystery. It’s not bad for a girl to enjoy searching for answers every now and then.”

“Except he’s already given you a concrete no, and you’re the only one still hanging onto him,” he reminds you. At your dropped jaw, Sukuna has the audacity to wink. That motherfucker –“Pressed a button, kitten?” he pats your head, leaving you to be even more riled up. “Don’t be sad. It’s not like he’s the only guy who can make you feel good.” As if a light bulb went up in his head, Sukuna hid his smile by turning his back to you, pretending to be engrossed in the drinks all laid out in front of him. But even with his face obscured from your view, his words rang thick and clear: “In fact, I bet you your cute ass someone else can change your former perspective on what pleasure really is.”

“Yeah, like who?” you snorted sarcastically, “You?”

“I wouldn’t be opposed to that,” he faces you, absolutely shameless as he eyes your cleavage. Sukuna clenches his jaw at the tempting view before him, sliding his gaze back to yours to look for the answers in your face. “If you want a demonstration, that is.”

Sukuna hasn’t really touched you or even spoke explicitly, but you’re breathing hard anyways, subconsciously clawing the countertop.

You don’t know if it’s your voice or his that’s ringing your ears, the words what’s holding you back? the last thing you hear before grabbing him by the collar, leaning over the counter to taste his lips. Sukuna smiles at the kiss, his large hands cupping your face in them. His thumb traces circles over your jaw as you greedily suck on his lip, uncaring that you’re making out with your roommate in a public place.

As if remembering that he’s still at work, Sukuna pulls away for a moment, diving in for one last peck that has you giggling adorably. Sukuna’s grin grows wider at your flushed cheeks, snapping his fingers at someone from a distance. “Geto, break!”

The guy who must be Geto popped his head out of the backroom, frowning at Sukuna’s words when his gaze lands on you and the not-so-subtle needy grip you have on Sukuna’s collar. His mouth forms into an ‘o’ shape before he gives a thumb up, disappearing afterward.

That’s all Sukuna needs before he’s leaving the counter, breathing in your panicked squeals as he picks you up, your legs flailing to wrap around his.

You’re giggling and laughing all the way to the back of the club, your hands tugging at his undercut and his own squeezing at your ass. Sukuna kicks the door of the restroom open, which is thankfully clean (you made the right choice choosing a luxurious club), settles you down before him, and locking the stall.

His lips are on yours in an instant, his hands tugging off your dress and scowling at it as if it’s offensive. “Calm down,” you tease him, “They didn’t do anything wrong.”

“They were a fucking tease the whole night,” he glares at the lacy cups of your bra, his breathing laboured as he cups them. You throw your head back until it thumps at the door, teeth muffling the moans that threaten to erupt. Sukuna unclasps the material in one swift movement, surprising with just how many times he’s done this before. “Fucking gorgeous tits – why the fuck does your boy toy not want to keep you to himself?”

“He’s – oh fuck,” you scrape Sukuna’s scalp, his tongue wrapping around the swollen bud. He caresses the other one not to leave it unattended, and he’s grinding you against the door so hard, his dick poking at your dress leaving very little to the imagination.

Sukuna chuckles at your broken response, rutting his hips in such a sensual manner you didn’t think he was capable of. “You were saying?”

You glare at him from under your chin, but he can’t take you seriously while he’s sucking at your tit like a child. This man is brave enough to nip it with his teeth, the sting making you hiss and buck against him. “He’s possessive,” you breathe through your mouth, a little in disbelief you’re casually thinking about him while Sukuna gets down on his knees. “He wants me to be exclusive with him, but he’s free to fuck who he pleases.”

Sukuna rubs both palms in front of his face as if preparing to devour a meal, which he’ll do so soon enough. He pushes your dress and bunches it at your waist, tugging your underwear to the side before he groans. The sound is so deep and masculine, so utterly frustrated for some reason you can’t understand.

“Now that’s unfair,” he mumbles absentmindedly, peppering your pelvis with kisses. The feverish touch of his warm lips on your already burning skin has you clutching at the door, feeling your legs weaken.

His eagerness and distrait acts of body worship drive you crazy. Megumi is good at making you feel desired and fuckable – that much you know from his habits of pushing his pants down at pretty much anywhere as long as you were around, claiming you’re a walking ‘boner trigger.’ Sukuna, on the other hand, was a lot more patient and attentive to his movements, taking the time to make you feel you were more than just a body and a hole. It’s odd, hella fucking odd, because this man is older than you and a friend of your professors, but did you care? No. Did you want him to fuck your brains out in a public restroom? Fuck yes.

A wanton moan paints the wall as Sukuna slides your thong off just above your knee, his eyes closed as he buries his cheek in it. You look down with wide eyes, hands grabbing at nothing and everything at the same time. From the looks of it, he’s sniffing your sex, the sight so outright erotic that you only moan louder.

How was it possible to be this much turned on?

By the time he’s opened his eyes, his entire demeanour’s shifted. Gone was the enthusiastic and sly bartender, now replaced with a much more animalistic entity residing beside it.

Before you could make yourself comfortable, Sukuna hooks one of your legs over his shoulder, the tip of your heel grazed against the tight walls of the stall. He licks a flat stripe from your hole that clenches around nothing, moving upwards in such a passionate, languid manner he’s making you forget you’re literally in a fucking restroom. Your breasts heave up and down from how you’re struggling to breathe, his tongue pushing past through the tight ring of resistance until he’s plunged through your core. You wobble above him, remaining upright only by his arm pushing your back flat on your under boob.

Sukuna slurps at your cunt yearningly, the hums he gives every now and then, making your core vibrate. You grind your pussy on his face, the black marks lined on his face glistening.

He moves to suck at your clit, transitioning after each beat to slurping the swollen bud and kissing your lips as if he was making out with it. You’re sure you’re making a mess on his face, but he doesn’t give you time to feel embarrassed about it. He spreads your legs further until your muscles ache from the stretch, the pain accompanied by your stomach tightening.

“S-Sukuna, oh, oh yeah,” you bang your fist on the door, his smug chuckles sending you over the edge. Your pupils blow wide as you feel the impending orgasm weigh down on you heavily, about to send you into overdrive by his tongue swiping at your lips, teasing you to give it to him more, give it to him harder. Turning your head down to warn him you’re coming, the words die on your throat because he’s already looking at you, his cheeks and nose smothered with your shining slick, and the brat is smirking. “Shit, you’re a little—” Sukuna cuts you off by generously sucking your clit one more time, pulling the muscle taut just to show you that it’s rolling between his lips. It looks fucking insane and filthy that you come right there and then.

Your orgasm is so strong that you actually slip from your heels. A scream from you is knocked back into you just as fast, Sukuna moving quick and graceful in one fluid movement. He catches your leg and shoves you against the door, gripping at your hips until you’re bending forward, ass perked, and wiggling just for him.

For a split second, you’re sure you hear the unbuckling of a belt, but it all fades in your clouded mind.

Sukuna enters you in one thrust, the sensation of being filled up so soon rendering you speechless. Literally absolutely silent, palms flat on the door and tongue lolled out, all the burning in your body focused on your centre.

He releases a grunt at finally being inside your plush, warm walls. Sukuna allows you to get used to his length for a solid minute, both of you catching your breath in the meantime. Your tits are sprawled out, and you’re a shaky mess, feeling nothing less of dirty yet so aroused that you can’t do anything about it. Sukuna thrusts in slowly at first, and that’s when you feel the size difference between him and Megumi. Megs was definitely blessed in the dick department, and he’s always been so cocky about it, but goddamn, Sukuna was beyond huge.

You think you could cum again just from him filling you up. He was stretching you out so well that he leaves behind a faint burn, making you feel as if it’s your first time all over again – all for the good reasons.

He soon begins to set his pace, one of his hands tugging at your ponytail so he could see your glossy eyes and mouth hanging open. Sukuna scoffs at your fucked out state, too cock-hungry even to form coherent sentences. His length is slipping past your folds in such a tantalizing, delicious state, the prominent veins of his cock kissing the bumpy ridges of your walls. He was right – you’re definitely changing your perspective on pleasure because you don’t think you’ve felt this good in your life.

With Megumi, it was mostly always about his own release. With Sukuna, he’s making sure you get to feel inch by luscious inch slipping out of you before he slides them back in, his deep moans the dirtiest thing you’ve ever heard.

“Aw, look at you,” he coos, kissing you sideways sloppily. Sukuna reaches the edges of your lips but licks at your skin anyway. His canines revealed to graze at your skin. It’s so animalistic, so carnal, and he’s fucking you with such primal need that you forget everything you once knew about sex. “Your pretty pussy is drooling for cock, sweetheart. Such a dirty little thing, taking me like this.”

Now, this was lust as its purest form, the rhythm of his hips so sinful you’ve lost faith in everything but how he’s making you feel.

The walls are pounding with the bass boosting outside, but soon even the loud volume of the synthesized music is drowned by your whimpers. Sukuna lets go of your hair to place his hands on your hips. If he was dominant before, he only encourages you to scream his name louder, realizing that he was still being nice seconds ago, but now he’s the one controlling you.

He pounds roughly into you until you’re crying, your drool dribbling from your lips and small patches dropping to the floor. It’s the same with your cunt. You’re so wet that you can feel squirts of cum staining his pants and your legs. Sukuna doesn’t stop praising you on how you’re so perfect, how your cunt is the tightest he’s ever fucked, and now he gets why your boy toy could never really let you go. In the middle of it all, he manages to slip in a comment that maybe Megumi’s dick isn’t big enough to stretch you out because you’re wrapped around him like a vice, to which you respond that he’s just massive.

“Fuck yeah, I am,” he agrees cockily, eyes narrowed at where his length kept being swallowed by your pussy. “I’m fucking destroying you, sweetheart. You’ll be broken by the end of this, fuck.”

His words are like ambrosia you’re getting drunk on, the filthiness of his mouth fuelling your desire. Your body heats up at the same time that familiar tingling tightens in your stomach, and you blindly stretch your arm out behind him. Sukuna easily reads your mind and takes your hand, looping his fingers with yours. His palm is right above your knuckle, and the angle hurts your arm so bad you cry harder.

“Please, please, please,” you beg him and snap your hips back to meet his dick thrust by thrust, “I’m so fucking close, please—”

“I got you, sweetheart,” he leans down for a quick peck at your hand, increasing his pace as he twitches inside you. Sukuna is thrown off rhythm by the way you grip down on his dick harder, his breath stuttering as a result. You wrap your fingers around him as your second orgasm that night crashes down onto you in waves, his cock on the brink of being spent from how you’re milking him.

He pounds deep and slow into you, relishing in the warmth of your cunt that he’s losing his mind, basically in the same state as you are now. You’re panting and sweating, cursing at each thrust, and he stills for a moment, pulling out so fast that you wince at the emptiness. Sukuna pumps his dick with his free hand and shoots his load onto your back, his moans guttural and hoarse. You grimace at the warm cum now coating your back because there’s no way you’re using your dress to wipe that away.

Sukuna chuckles at your silence, probably noting in the way you frown at him. “Sorry, sweetheart,” he runs a hand through his hair, his cock growing hard despite releasing a huge load. “Next time, I’ll cum in your mouth. I want to see you swallow me like a good girl.”

“Next time?”

You think you’re so sly by scoffing at him, but Sukuna isn’t stupid. He sees the way you light up at his implications, and he walks closer to you, a hand wrapped around your throat before you pull you flush against his chest. You gasp at the lack of air, blindly patting behind you, but your hand only grazes at his cock, which twitches excitedly at the contact.

“Yeah, next time,” he affirms with a low growl, licking from your jaw down to your neck. It’s so hot, he’s so hot, and you’ve never felt this sexy in your life that you soon become on par with him, pussy clenching around nothing. “I’m not done with you yet. You’re not leaving unless I’ve changed your mind,” he teases the base of your throat to squeeze it tighter, the swift movement of him filling you once more escalating to a tenfold. Your struggle to breathe causes you to clamp down on him hard and Sukuna’s chuckles falter into a quick inhale that’s so satisfying to witness. “What do you think? Still need more demonstrations?”

“Yes,” you choke out. Sukuna’s victorious and award-winning smile is hidden at the sweaty column of your neck where he leaves little kisses in its wake, ones that soon turn into something of a harsh bite. “Yes, please, show me more. Need you, need you so bad, you fuck me better than he does.”

Sukuna does more than show you that night. He makes you feel a thousand more nerves set on fire until you’re nothing but a moaning mess. After all, what better way to change someone’s mind than to mess with it on the inside?

In the end, when it comes down to it, your lies were way too sweet – and he was too addicted to make you stop.

#megumi x reader #fushiguro megumi x reader #megumi x reader smut #sukuna x reader #sukuna x reader smut #sukuna smut #ryoumen sukuna x reader #ryoumen sukuna x reader smut #fushiguro megumi smut #fushiguro megumi x reader smut #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen smut #sukuna x reader imagines #megumi x reader imagines #jujutsu kaisen imagines #jujutsu kaisen x reader imagines #jujutsu kaisen x reader smut #ryoumen sukuna smut

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runawayolives · 2 years

Text

Red

Request: One where you work for Red Bull and you guys don’t interact so much bc you ”dislike” him but truly, you loooong for him! Dunno and the ending could be cute or whatever hahaha!

Pairing: Max verstappen x reader

Word count: 1.5k

Warnings: Sexism, cuss words, alcohol consumption.

Masterlist

“My parents didn’t raise me to take this shit.” You took a seat on the couch, a glass of whisky in your hand. It was a simple Tuesday afternoon, and you and Lewis had decided to enjoy a calm night in his hotel room. You weren’t necessarily an introvert, but you did appreciate a calm night in, especially before a fully packed week of press and trying to get decent places in the races.

“The shit being Verstappen?” You glared at your friend, not ready to admit, or come to terms with your possible crush, that Lewis was insinuating.

“He’s an asshole, a disrespectful asshole. He is red bull's golden boy, and has decided that everyone is shit in comparison to him.” Lewis poured himself another glass, chuckling a bit.

“He’s a young racer, ambitious. We both know he has his dad breathing down his neck.” You glared at Hamilton, knowing very well that that is what you told him anytime he was mad at Verstappen.

“No excuse, nor justification.”

“Maybe he has feelings for you.” You took a long sip from your glass, raising your eyebrows in question.

“Feelings such as hate?”

“I was going to say the opposite.” Lewis ran his arm around your shoulders. “That boy pays too much attention to what you do to be indifferent. And it only makes sense that he acts the way he acts because of that day you embarrassed him.”

“I never embarrassed him.”

“Then you just don’t remember.”

…

The morning after, you were putting on your Red Bull overalls, after putting on your fireproof shirt. It was the fourth race of the season, and you were proud of your work in the last three. You didn’t necessarily get podium positions, but you always stood around the top five, except for the second one, where you were in seventh. You weren’t the star of Red Bull’s racing team, but you still made yourself known. Mainly because you were the only female driver in this season, and seasons before hadn’t had any.

Max Verstappen was the golden boy, and you were fine with it. You really were. Contrary to popular belief, you didn’t hate him. You didn’t see him as an enemy, in fact, during the races, you had facilitated his reach to the podium, not in a very obvious way, but you knew you had helped. F1 was competitive, and you hadn’t reached where you were by letting your opponents win. But you thought that if you allowed Max to be in the spotlight, you could slowly reach podium places.

During the race, in the middle of the third lap, Lewis’ car had to be pulled to the side, because of some issues with the engine. That automatically boosted you up to the third place, behind Verstappen and Leclerc. Once you were told this through your earpiece, you took a deep breath, not fully believing that your slow unnoticed progress was finally proving to be fruitful.

You got near Leclerc for a bit and were able to get in front of him. There was some tension during those three minutes of you assuring your position in second place, but it seemed that you were more or less safe. The only person faster than you right now was Max, and you couldn’t quite believe it. You remained in second place until the end of the race, meaning that you had landed your first podium position since your start at F1.

Once the race finished and you were getting ready for press, you bumped with Max in one of the hallways.

“Congratulations, Max.” His happy face quickly changed to one of discontent, amazing how someone could change their feelings so quickly. “You did well, you deserved P1.”

“P2 should have been Leclerc’s, and P3 Hamilton’s. You got lucky.” He kept walking towards the press room, leaving you frozen in place.

…

The majority of questions were for Max and Charles, and you didn’t complain. Your thoughts were going a thousand miles per minute. You couldn’t understand why max was like this, 24/7. You had never been unpleasant towards him, and you couldn’t say you had given him any reason to have any distaste towards you.

“Miss. Y/L/N, this is your first time being in a podium position. How does that feel?”

“It’s my first podium position in F1. It’s nice to see where have I reached. Since I was a little girl I dreamed of something like this, and it’s great to see and experience it happen.”

“How does it feel to know that this win was only possible thanks to Hamilton letting you pass him?”

“I’m sorry?”

“If Hamilton hadn’t faked the engine problems, you wouldn’t have won. Do you have a particular relationship that would guarantee the fact that Hamilton let you win? Are you having sex with him so that he lets you win?” You couldn’t believe this is what the reporter was asking.

“How do you fake an engine problem?”

“If there’s a will, there’s a way.” The whole room went silent, the only thing you could notice was the man embarrassing you and all of the cameras recording this, so that they could have something to talk about.

“How are these appropriate questions? You aren’t asking this to Leclerc and you’re not asking them to me.” Everyone looked at max shocked. It was well known that the driver didn’t have a good relationship with you, not like the one he had had with other teammates. “No one asked me if I was sucking someone's dick so that they would let me win. Charles, has anyone ever asked you this?”

Charles looked at you, a smile starting to appear on his lips. “If anyone had ever asked me, they would’ve known I’ve been having a more than friendly relationship with Hamilton.”

“Really, me too.” Max looked straight into the interviewer’s eyes. “In fact, I had to go to bed with Y/L/N so that she would let me be in P1.”

After the replies to the question, the press calmed down, asking more about F1 topics related. You could see Lewis between the mass of people, and he gave you a thumbs up.

“Y/L/N, how would you define your career up to this point?”

…

After press, you chased Max down the same hallway as before. “Verstappen.” He turned around, face stoic once he saw you. “Thank you. For what you did during the press.” He didn’t look into your eyes but replied nonetheless.

“My mother would have killed me if I had let that go on.” You slowly nodded, not knowing what to say. Max cleared his throat and looked at the ceiling. “I apologize for what I said before. You’ve worked hard, and deserved that P2”

“Thank you.”

“it’s just that, since that day, whenever I see you, I only see red.” You looked at him unsure. “You make me so angry.” You furrowed your eyebrows, unsure of what to say and what he was saying.

“What day?” Max then looked into your eyes, his making you want to shift in your spot.

“I asked you out when you were still in F2. You came with Hamilton to some afterparty and spent the night talking to me. I then asked you if you wanted to have dinner with me, the next day. You said yes, I got everything ready, and you never showed up. You stood me up. And embarrassed me in front of everyone that had helped me get the things ready.” You suddenly remembered what he was talking about. You had been slightly drunk, so when you woke up, you dismissed your memories as a weird dream. And you weren’t able to contact Max again because you had to take a flight back home after your mother had gotten sent to the hospital after getting hurt.

“Oh, Max, I’m so sorry. I thought it had been a dream, and then I completely forgot because I had to take a flight back home.”

“Right.”

“You have to believe me.” Max turned around and kept going his way, ignoring what you had told him.

…

Red Bull had the tendency to put their drivers in the same place, rooms beside each other, so that they could get closer and work on “teambuilding skills”. After the race, Max decided to go to your hotel room, to keep having the converstion he had gotten too fired up about. He knocked and waited for an answer. You opened the door and tried to disguise your surprise.

“Max, hello.”

“Are you busy?” You loked back into your room, letting Max see that you were with Lewis. “I’ll come back later.”

“No, you’re fine. I can talk.” You looked back at Lewis and closed the door gently, leaving you and the driver outside.

“I was thinking about what you said.” You noded, signaling that you followed him. “And I’ve realized that I should give this another chance.” You smiled at him, kindly. “Only if you want.”

“I would love to, Max.”

“Are you free tomorrow, lunchtime?”

“I am.”

“Hotel lobby at 11.30?”

“Perfect.”

#max verstappen #verstappen #red bull #lewis hamilton #x reader #x you #x y/n #runawayolives #request #ask #f1 #oneshot #blurb #drabble #headcanon #charles leclerc #max verstappen x reader

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atlaese · 3 years

Text

prompt ─ "and i’m not afraid to love you. only afraid my love won’t be enough."

requested by ─ @fluffyprettykitty. my love <3 thank you so much for sending this one in, i hope you enjoy this slightly angsty yet fluffy piece!

tw ─ misunderstandings, established relationship, curse words, little bit angsty, a little bit of a crack fic too, fluffy ending.

words ─ 1.6K (not a blurb whatsoever lmao.)

Avoiding Matt had become like a hobby these days. Jogging in the sun or reading books on your favourite bench in the park were also on that list, but those two weren't as rigorous and exhausting as avoiding the man in question.

Now, avoiding him didn't just happen gradually. It happened after a certain incident that left your heart bruised and beaten and left out on the curb. You were lucky the garbage truck was scheduled to come by in the morning. You had hoped they didn't charge extra to pick up your broken heart.

After the event, you felt too ashamed to face the man who did the breaking. He broke your heart, he broke a window and he broke his nose after rushing head first into the window to get another criminal.

So yes, avoiding the one man that seemed to be everywhere was one of the hardest things you'd ever done. Getting two degrees seemed like child's play to be honest.

Living in the same city and the same neighbourhood was the first hurdle. You both liked to shop at the same grocery store, so you were bound to run into him one day. Of course it happened on the day where you had twisted your ankle and were hobbling around with a cart that had one wheel that was kinda stuck.

"Need some help?" the voice that usually purred sulky and seductive words in your ear was now empty of any emotion. It maybe had an edge of sadness to it, but as great as a lawyer he was, he knew how to mask most of it.

You let out a deep sigh, internally panicking at what to do. You were still kind of mad at him and really had no mental bandwith to deal with this vigilante who seemingly had no care for his own life.

"Matt, sorry, but please, I need space. I told you before."

"But that was five days ago," he pleaded, his voice no longer void of emotions. "I miss you and I haven't heard your voice in five days and..."

"I know, I know," you repeated, trying not to break your own heart again by ignoring the man that had captured it and kept it with the utmost care (until recently).

"I'll call you when I'm ready," you stated, turning your cart around and hobbling out of the cereal aisle with a wheel that made a horrible screeching noise. Talk about an exit.

The next time you were running along the busy streets of the Kitchen when you saw a man with a cane rapidly approaching.

Instead of turning off your music and slowing down to say hello to someone you knew like a sane person, you just turned the volume higher and sped up your pace.

Matt couldn't do anything else than turn at the sound of you passing by, his mouth handing half-open as he was astonished by your sheer will at ignoring him. Would it be that weird if a blind man were to run after you?

Tonight however, he finally had an opportunity to get you to say what exactly was causing this rift between you. The Mariana Trench had nothing on it.

The city was throwing a benefit to get donations for the children's hospital and they had invited anyone and everyone that mattered.

Matt, had gotten an invitation as your plus one, and you had gotten one as you worked as one of the nurses at the hospital.

His warm fingers curled around your wrist as you said goodbye to one of your colleagues, and he pulled you along with him, ignoring your hushed protests at his sudden assault.

He pulled you into a room and closed the door behind him, his hand immediately leaving your wrists to show that you were free to leave at any time. Or at least after you had decently talked.

"What the actual fuck Matthew, what are people going to think?" you seethed, not seeing red just yet as you took in his crisp suit. His bowtie was just a bit crooked and his nose still looked a bit swollen.

"They're not saying anything bad about us, just talking about how we're young and in love," he said as he listened closely to the chatter going on in the main room. "Just talk to me. Five minutes tops."

"Fine," you muttered, sitting on the corner of a desk as Matt took off his glasses.

"Please… please just tell me what I can do to fix this.”

“Do you even realise why you fucked up?” you asked, taken aback by the sharp edge of your voice.

“Because if you don’t I’m not sure if we can continue this,” you softly added, trying to soothe the sharpness of before, even though the words hurt even more than the ones before.

Matt hesitated a bit as his fingers came up to pinch the bridge of his nose, momentarily forgetting the pain before taking a sharp breath as he quickly dropped his hand again.

“I’m sorry. I know I messed up but, please, please don’t take these rash decisions, you know better.”

“Rash decisions?” you questioned him almost unbelievingly. “You are the one who put his life on the line and broke his nose while jumping through a glass window!

“How do you expect me to love you endlessly if you put your life on the line every single night, thinking that your well-being wouldn’t matter to me? Please, explain it to me because I fail to understand it.”

It was as if Matt totally deflated once he realized what you were saying. Matt had been so focused on saving the city that he had stopped looking out for himself. Matt had stopped caring about himself, and how could he want you to love him if he didn't even consider the possibility that it was putting such a burden on you too.

"Sweetheart, my love," Matt sighed, grabbing your hands in his as he positioned himself in front of you. "I am so sorry I didn't realize it before.

"I know I haven't been the best and I know that taking care of the city has overtaken everything. And I-I know that I shouldn't go out as much and that I should just... I should look out for myself because looking out for myself also means that I care enough about my well-being to love you.

"But I'm not afraid to love you. I'm only afraid my love won't be enough. I'm afraid that I'll keep messing up and that one day you'll have enough of my self-destructive tendencies. And when you decide to walk away from this I can only support you in that decision."

"When?" that was the only word that stuck in your mind after hearing his whole tirade. "Matt god, I'm so sorry.

"I never wanted you to feel like I'd walk out on this just like that. I'd never do that. I just wanted- no needed you to know how much I need you to take care of yourself," you said, pulling him even closer as you tried your best to keep the tears at bay.

"I know you love me, I know you do, and you have to know that it's enough," you sniffled quietly. "You just have to allow yourself the same amount of love, I can't have you running around like an invincible man when you're just as fragile as the rest of us.

"You have to promise me you'll think twice about missions."

Matt nodded, his own eyes glassed over as he pulled you into a tight embrace. His face buried in the crook of your neck and his hands gripped your hips. God, how you had missed the way his body perfectly fit against yours, even though it had only been a little over a week.

"Your love for me will never be too little," you whispered, carding your fingers through the little wisps of hair at the back of his head. "Your love feels like the gravity that's constantly pulling on my feet, it's there, always there and surrounds my everything."

"I just need you to do the same for yourself too," you pulled back and looked at his beautiful brown eyes that had a red shine around them.

Matt didn't respond, but you knew from his facial expression that he finally understood why it was so important to you.

You pressed a soft kiss against his lips, as if trying to seal the promise that his love for you was enough and that yours was just as strong.

"C'mon, let's go mingle again before more gossip spreads around," you said as you pulled away. You softly swiped at his bottom lip to get rid of the lipstick that clung to it.

"Daredevil is one thing but they I'd rather not have any rumours float around that I disappeared for 45 minutes with my boyfriend and we both came back with red eyes."

Matt just pressed a soft kiss against your temple and pushed his glasses back on his nose. "You'll be the only one with red eyes and a smile, I'm sure they'll think other stuff."

You just slapped his bicep, but allowed yourself to be dragged out to the main room again, this time a happy smile present on both of your faces.

#ari's blurbs #matt murdock x reader #matt murdock x you #matt murdock x y/n #matt murdock fic #matt murdock imagine #matt murdock blurb #matt murdock fanfic #matt murdock #daredevil fic #mcu #marvel #matt murdock reader insert

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