#how is anyone okay after seeing this

[stormyrainyday]

i think we as a fanbase moved on way too quickly from the fact that the first ghosts lockwood ever saw were his parents

[fictionadventurer]

I keep thinking about Lewis' review of The Hobbit, because he claimed that the main thing contemporary reviewers compared it to was Alice's Adventures in Wonderland. Was fantasy in that poor of a state that Alice was the closest thing they could think of? Comparing that chaotic fever dream to Tolkien's intricately crafted world? Lewis does specify that the comparison is that both books are by an "Oxford professor at play", but they're otherwise so different that putting the two in the same category baffles me.

[lot-of-nothing]

Can I Call You Rose? (Ch. 1?)

Chessy x Reader

As the new viticulturist (grape-growing expert) at Nick Parker's vineyard, you fall for a certain nanny. (Post-Parent Trap movie I think)

Warnings: SOFT SMUT (with a little plot and romance)

You wondered if your fingers were going to go numb, or perhaps your heart would just explode first?

You had finally worked up the courage to kiss the auburn-haired beauty mere hours ago and now Chessy’s lips were finally attached to her neck. You had met during your first week as Nick Parker’s head viticulturist. Her warmth was magnetic and you always tried to find reasons to tend to the grapes closest to the house in case you could start a conversation with the nanny. You spent many afternoons together, flirting while she brought you her homemade lemonade or while you walked her around the rows of vines handing her grapes to try. Chessy always seemed to wear a smile when you were near, filling you with butterflies in return. You had been dreaming of this moment since you first met the beautiful woman and now you were filled with pure unfiltered anxiety. 

Chessy’s open mouth kisses to your throat and collarbone were unlike anything you had ever experienced. Were you supposed to crave her as much as you did? There was a fire ignited in the pit of your stomach that hungered for something that felt so forbidden.

As nervous as you were, you wanted more. You needed more. You wanted to feel Chessy’s hands setting every inch of your skin aflame… but the thrum of energy winding through every cell in your being had you wondering if you would have a panic attack or pass out before that could happen. 

“Hon… Hon? Honey!” 

You must have spaced out entirely as Chessy’s voice drew you back to reality. Next thing you knew, Chessy’s hands were now cupping your face, staring intently into your eyes. 

“Hm?” You hummed, your eyes brimming with tears as you felt like you could finally breathe again. You felt incredibly embarrassed that you felt that you couldn’t handle the physical intimacy. It was hard when you were so in love with Chessy and lacked the experience you thought necessary to please her.

“Are you okay, sweetie?” Chessy’s voice was just above a whisper. She was terribly worried that she had pushed the bounds of your relationship too far too soon. Little did she know that it would be your own slip up that would be the culprit of a ‘too much too soon’ relationship. 

“I-I-I…” You quickly stopped herself short, not wanting to make yourself cry.

“It’s okay… Wanna finish our movie, honey?”

You shook your head furiously, determined to push yourself through the anxiety and nerves.

“Honey…” Chessy seemed skeptical, her hands squeezing your cheeks. The extra bit of care Chessy showed was all you needed to lose your head, tears pooling in your eyes and spilling onto your cheeks.

You stared into your hands, trying to explain to Chessy why you were struggling to get through your anxieties. “I just… don’t- I just don’t know how to pleasure a woman…” 

“Tell you what. Come’re…” Chessy cooed, drawing you in so you could sit between the auburn beauty’s legs. From there Chessy gently caressed your arms, speaking in a firm but gentle tone. “I am going to turn on a different show and you are gonna sit right here and enjoy it, okay?”

You sniffled and nodded, reclining back in Chessy’s arms as an attempt at relaxing. A few moments passed of Chessy tapping away on her phone. The audio sounded off before you even comprehended what was playing, “I hope you are nice and wet for me.”

You certainly weren't expecting Chessy to stream a guided masturbation from her phone onto the television. 

Your cheeks flushed a deep red, “Wha-?”

Chessy’s hands fell to your sweatpants, pulling out the band a couple of inches as she spoke, “I want you to just relax. Just do what she tells you to, okay?”

Your hand was shaking as you pushed it into your sweatpants, never having experienced anything like a guided masturbation before. While daunting, it was incredibly hot.

The audio rang over the tv speakers once more, causing butterflies to swirl in your stomach, “Now, why don’t you see how wet you are for me? Slip your fingers in your panties for me.”

As you slipped your fingers in your underwear, you let out a whimper at first contact with your cunt. What else would you be in for with this nanny? What other tricks were hidden up her sleeves to drive you wild? 

Even though all of your building anxiety, you had grown incredibly wet from Chessy’s touch. You rolled your head back onto Chessy’s shoulder, earning a kiss to your temple as you did. Chessy’s voice was gentle in your ear, “You are doing so well, honey.”

The video instructed you once more, telling you to focus on your clit. Considering the pacing of the video, Chessy must have found a video long enough to help you relax, but short enough that she could find more involvement in your pleasure sooner rather than later. 

Doing as you were told, you circled your clit and felt yourself melting back into the auburn beauty’s arms. What you couldn’t see was Chessy’s smile as she felt the tension in your body fade. Her hands wound up your front, working your t-shirt up your torso to access your breasts.

The audio emanated from the tv was filled with the performer's moans, but you were becoming enraptured by the soft, encouraging hums from the woman behind you. Chessy’s hands drifted up and down your stomach, stopping at your breasts to give a gentle squeeze before shifting back down once more. 

“Let me hear you, sweetie…”

You bit your bottom lip and turned your face into Chessy’s neck, unsure if you were ready to be heard. 

Without a response, Chessy hummed disapprovingly, her hand slipping its way into your sweatpants and then underwear in search of your wetness. At the feeling of her fingers mingling with yours in your cunt, you withdrew your hand and dropped it to your side to allow her to take over. You couldn’t keep yourself from softly sighing at the feeling of her gentle fingertips working against your clit. 

“God, you are so wet…” Chessy whined at the way your wetness coated her fingers. 

You bucked your hips up into her hand, desperately wishing for this sensation to last forever. With her arms around you, fingers dancing around your clit, and her hot breath against your neck, your head was spinning. You couldn’t help but moan before blurting your thoughts to Chessy, “You- you’re so beautiful…” 

“Mmm… thank you, honey.” Chessy cooed, her arm winding around your waist to cradle you close as her fingers continued working against you. Your entire being was set aflame by Chessy’s loving embrace and skilled fingers. 

Your breathing rate was growing faster and faster, the coil in your stomach tightening as you grew closer to your orgasm. 

Chessy’s teeth nipped at your earlobe, tenderly nibbling as she added extra pressure as she circled your clit. Her voice came as a soft whisper, forcing warmth to spread across your face. “I can feel you getting close. You are so beautiful when you fall apart like this for me.” 

“Fuck, I love you~” You exhaled, not registering your words while your hands clung to her forearm. 

Sadly, you were too lost in the throes of your eminent orgasm to notice her lack of a response. She only nuzzled you with her cheek and held you tight as your orgasm washed over you.

Your back arched and your hips thrashed, unable to contain yourself. Your eyes squeezed shut and you let out a lengthy moan, trying to enjoy every ounce of the orgasm Chessy guided you through. 

Chessy sighed with a soft smile and withdrew her hand from your pants. She was trying to ignore her own anxiety building from her lack of response to your omission of love. While she felt she loved you as well, it all felt like too much too soon. In years past, she had dove head first into relationships and had only been burned in return. She had no intention of ruining your relationship over the omission of her own feelings. 

“How do you feel?”

“Mmm… good.” With a deep breath, you roll over in her arms, pressing your cheek near the base of her sternum. You tucked your hands under her wide hips and enjoyed the feeling of your bodies pressed together. “How do you feel about me returning the favor?”

Chessy pushed her anxieties deep down, not wanting to ruin a perfect moment. She had been falling for you since you started at the Parker estate. “Maybe in the morning…”

“Are you sure? I would love to-”

There was that word again. It made Chessy’s stomach drop. 

“No. It’s really okay. We could just… finish our movie.”

She seemed curt in her reply. It lacked the typical warmth you always received from her. It made you terribly self conscious until her hands wandered to the skin of your back, drawing loopy circles with one hand while her other turned the tv back to your movie.

“Mmm… you better be careful or I’ll fall asleep.” You murmured, testing the waters of how likely it would be for you to spend the night with the nanny. 

“Whatever shall I do. I would hate for someone so cute to be in my bed when I woke up.” Chessy was being incredibly sarcastic, her hands continuing to scratch your back in lazy loops. 

You allowed your own hands to wander her hips and thighs as a different form of self-soothing. You obsessed over the soft dips of cellulite and the slopes created by the widening of her hips. Her baggy clothing hid the curves you wanted to memorize through all of your senses. 

Chessy’s eyes drifted shut as she pushed herself to enjoy your loving touch. It was hard for her to accept such unadulterated affection, but she desperately wanted to try. It felt so good for her to be wanted and desired, but the vulnerability required for a deep and meaningful relationship lurked in the back of her mind. 

[lanternlightss]

okay .. take two !!!

+ bonus doodles

[thedisdainfullysilentvisitor]

AU where when Kathony announces they're leaving again, Ben, Hyacinth and Gregory elect to go with them to India both to share in Kathony's experience and to get away from Lady Whistledown

[void-and-virtue]

You go into reading ORV thinking it’s going to be a story.

You read it and it’s a story: it’s a story about a reader.

You read a little further and realize that it’s a story about stories: stories that make people as much as people make them.

You get to that point and you finally realize that it’s a con.

It’s a con: it’s been a con from the very first word, the longest, most visceral and excruciating con you’ve ever seen, yet somehow never saw coming—and you’re fuming but you’re also holding your breath because you can’t even be mad, it’s got you hook, line and sinker and you’d follow it beyond the end of the earth, you’ve already followed it beyond the end of the earth unknowingly and now you’re willing to go even further than that, willingly choosing it for yourself, because you need to see where this goes, you need to, because you care. You care.

Somewhere, you know with all the faith of a reader that Han Sooyoung is smiling.

[scissorcraft]

i really want to make isat friends…

[makorragal-312]

Given today's news, I feel like I should put this out there:

"Liam Payne was one of/my favorite member in One Direction and was a big part of my childhood, so a part of me is sad that he's gone and I'm sad that he passed the way he did"

and

"Liam Payne did a lot of terrible things that hurt a lot of people and as sad as his sudden death is, it doesn't absolve him of his actions for me"

are two ideas that can and should mutually coexist with each other.

Liam did awful things and ended up hurting people with his actions, but I know he was also a part of a lot of people's childhoods when it came to music and boy groups and was a favorite member to people (me included) and was considered a safe place for others. So it's completely understandable to have mixed emotions or even just genuine sadness at him dying so tragically.

So please, don't feel guilty for having mixed feelings about this. Just feel how you feel and take care of yourselves.

[sea-jello]

@nyaskitten tumblr ate your fucking ask uhh ignore how this is months later BUT i finally watched dr s2 AND

I GET IT NOW. I UNDERSTAND.

[sainz100]

2024 Singapore GP | x

[memento-morri-writes]

This is far from my best work, but it's 1:30am, and I needed to get this down before I slept or lost my mind. So here, take a snippet of Rook seeing Zara again for the first time in 3 years.

Trying, and failing, to keep his voice from shaking, [Rook] said “Hello, Captain.” Mouth still open in surprise, [Zara] replied “Well, hello yourself.” The reality of what she was seeing seemed to hit her as she rounded the desk. “Rook, is that really you?” He nodded. “It’s me.” Zara ran towards him, stopping just short of touching him, and said “What did she do to you?” Rook’s heart stuttered and he had to brush his fingers together to confirm Sigmar’s ring was still in place. Could she possibly see through its illusion? But then he remembered what Lanny had said. She knew where you were. His throat clenched and he choked out “Two years.” A wave of grief swept across Zara’s face as she said “I’m so, so sorry.” Rook shook his head vigorously. “It’s not your fault.” Zara ignored him. “It is my fault. I failed you. As your captain, it’s my responsibility to keep you safe, and I failed you.” Rook wanted to say something, to reassure her, but she pushed on. “She sent me letters, told me all the terrible things she was doing to you. I… I let you down.” Those words hit Rook with the force of a dozen cannonballs. Lanny had said that Zara knew Wolf had him, but knowing that Zara had been aware of what Wolf was doing to him… somehow that was more painful than any wound Wolf had ever inflicted. He barely managed to force his next words out around the lump in his throat. “Where were you?” And why didn’t you come? “She said she’d kill you if I came to get you. Or if I hired anyone to get you. You’re standing here because I stopped sailing.” 

(honorary one-time tag for @space-writes bc I remember you enjoyed my other bits about Rook and Zara.)

[tiny-cloud-of-flowers]

Xeno Femslash February Day 1: Beginning (Lora/Aline)

Following a lead discovered by Haze, Lora travels to the small hamlet of Torigoth in search of her mother, Rynea. Although she is shocked to find the village left in ruins, she is determined to find survivors - and manages to find a Driver hidden in the nearby forest. (2360 words) Takes place near the beginning of Torna ~ The Golden Country. This piece was written for the “Beginning” prompt of the Xeno Femslash February event.

My friend @artificervaldi is running an event/prompt list for this month, aaand.. well, I wanted to have a go at writing some selfship pieces for some of the prompts, so this is my piece for the first one! I hope that this is alright ^-^

(Anyone is welcome to comment on and/or reblog my work if they want to, as long as my DNI is respected!)

Tag list and document transcript under the readmore:

Tag list: @starlit-selfships | @edencantstopfallininlove | @yoomtahsgf | @sunlight-ships | @dragonsmooch | @thatslikesometaldude | @artificervaldi | @keyblade-ships | @seahydra | @alrest | @neuvilline (If you would like to be tagged in any of my future work, please use this form!)

Document transcript:

Travelling with the lord of Aletta himself was a vastly new experience to Lora - as was the might of the Blade he had resonated with. Everything was so different, from the decoration of the inter-Titan transport to his refreshing and light-hearted banter. It was quite clear that Jin was unsure of how to see the situation, but Haze's confidence in the lead she had found was granting her Driver the strength and the hope that she dared to let build up in herself. She found herself enjoying Addam's demeanour, even if Mythra's standoffish nature made for a stark contrast - yet even she had her moments of more genuine appreciation.

When the party, as they could perhaps now be termed, landed on the grass of Gormott, Lora was amazed by the Titan's rolling plains and verdant scenery. Despite the drizzle drifting down from skies above, the wide-open views felt no less dreary; if anything, the plant life seemed almost more invigorated for the water. It was not cold, but neither was it humid - a clear freshness punctuated the air and put a spring in everyone's steps as they made their way to their destination. At times, there were a few tense moments of keeping watch for Ardainian or Coeian forces potentially skirmishing over resources, but these groups were not a strong presence in the local vicinity. Everything felt that little bit new and exciting.

It was only as Torigoth came closer, and the mists of rain had risen into stormclouds as dark as the plumes of extinguished flame-smoke, that the tone of the mission plummeted completely.

Lora found herself gripped by worry that dived headfirst into panic once she realised what had happened, fears rising almost as strongly as if she had stumbled upon her birthplace torn to shreds. Her pace picked up into a sprint as she flew along the path leading to the razed hamlet, not slowing even as she passed through the thick stone walls and further along the path and forwards into what should have been a lively and calm village square but was instead now.. no more than a mere clearing amidst piles of blackened timber and burnt remnants of buildings. There were glimpses of fallen townsfolk, here and there in the chaos; these were peaceful farmers whose lives had been gluttonously cut short by looters.

"Oh, no.."

"Here, too?" Addam wondered aloud from behind her, staring grimly at the carnage wrought before him. "Gormott's an attractive target, but this? Whoever did this.. clearly had no compassion or respect for the people they killed.."

Mythra seemed decidedly less affected by the scene, even if she was frowning slightly as she examined it. "Whether it was Malos, or someone else. Either way, clearly they're all toast."

This casual dismissal earned her a chiding look from her Driver. "Mythra.."

Meanwhile, Jin had become keenly aware of how distraught his own Driver had become, despite her face not being visible from where he was standing. Mythra had reminded Milton before that Drivers and Blades were one in body and soul, and in that moment it certainly did feel as though some of her distress was tangibly adding to his concern.

"Lora.." he began, wondering whether to approach her.

There was a moment's pause before she spoke up. "It's.. It's okay." she then said, mustering up what levity she could. "Mother.. could have run away somewhere safe.."

Her words held little hope or confidence, and everyone would likely have settled into an uncomfortable silence had that silence not been punctured by the sound of armoured footsteps running up to the group.

"You there! A moment, if such may be spared!"

All attention gladly turned from the destruction, the party looked over to one side to see a very tall figure approaching from a side path. They were dressed in quite extravagant white and golden armour, with a long cape and skirt that came down to above their knees, plus silver gauntlet-like gloves and greaves - all of which combined to make an impressive first impression. They were also almost completely soaked through, as could be seen from how much their hair was dripping pitch-black from the rain.

"Might I presume thee to be travellers?" they continued to ask as they ran, stopping upon getting close enough to speak without having to call out.

Haze had been standing closest, and so was primed to step forward to address the stranger while they stopped to catch their breath, crosier in hand. "Are you okay? What happened here?"

In response, they simply shook their head, though it was more in a dismissive way than a negative answer. "Pray be not concerned as to my status. 'Tis that of my Driver for which I would deign to seek thine aid."

"So you're a Blade, then.." Lora mused - but at the sound of her voice, he frowned. He looked up after a moment only to find himself locking eyes with her - and his brow furrowed even more fiercely at the sight.

"Art thou not Lady-?" Then his voice caught in his throat, and he had to take another moment to reassess the situation. This caused Lora and Haze to glance between each other confusedly.

Mythra, on the other hand, was eyeing up the Blade with an unusual amount of interest, looking over the gleaming gold of their armour and the blue sword-shaped Core Crystal set in their chest. "Sure don't see Blades like you in places like this.. Who's your Driver, the lord of Gormott or something?"

"Do not jest so, lest thou receivest the wrong impression. Her name is Aline - a woman of Gormott, whose hair and height art alike to yours save in length." they explained. "She is dressed in verdant green, which may yet aid in her concealment from my view.. I bid her flee for safety at first sight of the brigands responsible for this travesty, yet she is wont to fear all conflict, and mine endeavours in dealing with such scoundrels hath left me wholly unknowing of her location."

The party listened carefully to his description, committing the details to memory. Addam was keen to take charge, his expression more serious than Lora had seen it since first meeting him.

"Right then." he declared as they finished. "A blonde Gormotti girl wearing green. Don't worry, my good fellow - we'll do what we can to find her."

"Full glad am I to hear this." replied the Blade, before pausing as if remembering something. "Ah! Pray forgive my discourtesy. Mine urgency did prevent the proper introductions; you all may address me as Avalon."

"It's good to meet you." Lora said quickly, though her mind seemed to be elsewhere. "I'm thinking that- since there are a few of us, we could split off into pairs to cover more ground. Maybe.. Jin, would you mind staying with Avalon?"

The ice-element Blade, who had clearly been rather taken by their attire, frowned slightly. "..Not outright, but will you and Haze be alright on your own?"

"Yes, don't worry." she insisted. "If anything happens, or you find Aline or anyone else, come back here to the square. I saw that the forest here encroaches on the village quite a bit, so.. if Haze and I look through there, you can check over the immediate area, and then Addam and Mythra can search in the fields to the north. Sound like a plan?"

Everyone quickly gave their assent, and set off to search for the girl.

==========

The rain had not relented, splashing down in heavy raindrops through the towering trees overhead. Haze and Lora were quickly but carefully picking their way through the drenched forest, expressions tense with apprehension. Neither woman was familiar with the flora or fauna of the Titan, and it also had not been clear whether Avalon was able to successfully rout all of the brigands, so the pair kept close together in order to observe without drawing too much attention to themselves. It was a tricky and tentative situation, searching for someone they had never even seen in an environment where she would be almost perfectly-camouflaged.

Trying as she might to concentrate, Lora's mind was racing too quickly to let her focus properly. The way in which Avalon had faltered at the sight and sound of her was unsettling, and most unexpected - yet the more she dwelled on the moment, the more she wondered if it could have meant something. It had been far too long since she last saw her mother, and.. the thought suddenly came to her that it was possible the two could share some resemblance. Which, of course, meant that Avalon was familiar with her. ..She didn't quite know how to feel about that, let alone right in this moment.

Meanwhile, Haze was looking around nervously, but finding the details of her surroundings difficult to discern in the driving storm. "My lady, do you think we should call out for her?"

"I think so." Lora replied. "Avalon said she might be scared, so if she's hiding, it might not be easy to find her ourselves. Besides, we don't want to startle her.."

The Blade gave a dutiful nod, and opened her mouth to cry Aline's name - but it was then that Lora's attention was caught once again, and she failed to hear it.

The trailing ends of a long grey scarf were fluttering in the wind that had just picked up, and their sudden movement drew her gaze to spy a startling peridot gleam just above where they began. As quickly as she had glimpsed it, it fled from view behind a tree whose bark almost shone in the low light from being so rain-saturated.

"Lady Lora? Is everything alright?"

Haze had now stepped into her field of view, her golden eyes examining Lora's own with some concern.

"Wait there a moment, Haze. I think someone else is here.."

As carefully as if she were approaching a sleeping Pippito, Lora kept her sights set on the scarf tails that were even now still just about visible from around the back of the tree trunk, and stepped forward slowly to investigate.

"We're not here to hurt you, if that's what you're worried about." she said to the tree trunk after a moment. "Avalon sent us.."

This seemed to have been the right thing to say, as a hand slowly crept its way around the side of the tree. Following it was the face of a shy young woman, whose drenched blonde hair was poking out from under her grey hood that had pockets for feline Gormotti ears. She was wearing a rustic sort of dress with light, puffy sleeves - and a green skirt and bodice, just as Avalon had implied. Her face was frozen by worry, wet with what could have been rainfall or tears, and her eyes seemed to catch what little light there was in the forest to shimmer with brimming anxiety.

Lora couldn't help but breathe a sigh of relief from having found who she was looking for, but she could tell that the young woman was very shaken, and so maintained as gentle a kindness as possible.

"Hello there; my name is Lora. It's alright - I promise you don't need to be scared of us."

"Ah! I'm sorry!" she replied suddenly. "Um, I- I'm Aline.. And I think I might already know a bit about you, Lora.."

This remark caused Lora to blink in confusion as Aline nervously drew back from the soaking tree bark. She noticed that her heart was racing, and had to place her hand over her chest to try and settle it. Meanwhile, Haze had crept up behind her Driver, giving a gentle smile and wave that seemed to ease Aline's worries somewhat.

"My name is Haze." she said softly, after seeing her relax a bit. "I'm really glad we found you, Aline. You're not injured or anything, are you?"

"No, I'm fine, thank you. But- thank you for asking." she stated. "Sorry, I'm not.. normally this anxious, I promise.."

"Oh, please don't worry about that!" Lora exclaimed, almost sheepishly, to try and reassure her. "You'll be safe with us now, that I can assure you. Avalon is, too, in case you were worried - they'll be pleased to see you again, I'm sure."

This remark made Aline's eyes widen. "I didn't want to just leave them alone! But they insisted on this being safer, and.. I-I don't know whether anyone else managed to get out.."

Tears began to well up in her bright green eyes once again, and she raised a soaking-wet hand to unsuccessfully try to dry them. Lora felt a rush of intense pity for her, and quickly tried to sift through her things for a not-yet-completely-soaked handkerchief to use. She had meant to offer it to her, but Aline could do instead was blink as she felt the soft fabric on her face, and her eyes instinctively darted away in every direction to avoid being faced with Lora's.

"Thank you very much-!", she squeaked, causing Lora herself to feel slightly mortified. Why had she done that? She stopped herself and pulled backwards, taking in Aline's expression in full - and then realised the answer, as the fearful aura clouding her had now finally vanished. Haze, meanwhile, couldn't help but chuckle at the kind and instinctive gesture; it was clear that Lora had been worried about her wellbeing, on top of everything else going through her mind. Above them, the rain also began to ease slightly.

There was still a blanket of worry hanging over the three as they decided to make their way back, and each was bracing for a difficult scenario upon their return to the others. Even so, the fact that Haze and Lora had found at least two survivors of Torigoth felt like it had to be something - and that feeling that dared to feel positive was persistent in its slowly-rising nature. With Aline's wealth of experience as guidance, they found a straightforward path back out through the forest, returning to the ruined- but, at least, no longer smouldering - remnants of Torigoth.

And thus, girl met girl.

[my-thoughts-and-junk]

i have to think about chilchuck and laios forever

[skitskatdacat63]

Boy King Seb :D

[orcelito]

Wild that anytime I post an update a lot of people read it and are even excited about it and have their own thoughts and reactions to it that I'll never know.

Comments are only the very tip of the iceberg with it. And I am Very grateful to commenters for letting me in on it. But in the same way that I'll be excited with my friends when a fic we love updates, it's likely that Other people enthuse with Their friends when my fic updates. And it's just so strange. An experience I'll never have access to.

Everyone's relationship with my fic is unique. So many different people with so many different circumstances and preferences... and the number of people that have told me that my fic is one of their favorites, some even saying it's their Favorite favorite... every single one of them have their own relationship with my writing.

It's just interesting to me. I think and think and think on my writing. I have my plans for basically the entire fic, the way I want it to end already thought out, all the major plot beats and the relationship progressions, All of that thought out. I love my writing so very much, but I'm on the inside looking out. This is my mechanical horse, and I'm in here laying out the groundwork and pulling levers and constructing limbs, puttering away making the horse move. Forever and always, my relationship with it will be more intimate than anyone's, and yet more clinical. Because I know it better than the back of my own hand, but I'll never have the experience of reading it fresh. Of reading it without knowing everything that's going to happen from now to the end and beyond. I won't have the thrill of the plot twists I have planned, the delight at seeing things progress, the horror at seeing things go wrong...

This is my mechanical horse, and I'm making it move.

I just always wonder what it must be like to see it from the outside. I hope to others that it's a pretty horse.

[carcarrot]

well that was a shortlived good feeling about my job