#how him returning to the light must always be on Obi-wan’s mind as he hopes Anakin will do the same

[yourneighborhoodporg]

The Guardian

Chapter 1: The Accident

Obi-Wan Kenobi x Reader

Warnings: trials of war (general suffering), sleep deprivation, crash landing, light injury, abandonment (if you squint), angst, fluff, humor, trio banter

Summary: As the Clone Wars officially commence, General Kenobi begins to suffer the consequences of burning the candle at both ends with back-to-back responsibilities constantly at his heels. When the council makes a concerning announcement in the middle of a mission, Obi-Wan, Anakin, and Ashoka are forced to drop everything and travel to Coruscant. Fate, however, has other plans— you.

Song Inspo: Sign of the Times — Harry Styles

Words: 5.7k

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Only the dead have seen the end of war — Plato

Obi-Wan Kenobi was…displeased.

The General’s arms remained loosely folded across his chest as he leaned back into the passenger’s seat. The robes being used as makeshift blankets shifted in response. He tried to calm himself with a deep breath as the next round of turbulence threatened to rip the shuttle apart, but Obi-Wan couldn’t ignore the slight prickle of his auburn beard when the skin underneath grew more sensitive from anxiety. A sigh escaped his lips. He rested his eyelids, head falling back. The aching Jedi thought back to only a few days before. Obi-Wan and Master Yoda finally recovered Anakin and the new Togruta Padawan on Tatooine after the two successfully returned Jabba’s son Rotta. The Separatist kidnapping plot was a failure.

He remembers finding it odd back on Tatooine, as he waited on the transport for Yoda’s arrival, that the Grand Master found it necessary to personally accompany him and a number of clones on the assault transport tasked with retrieving the duo. His head heavy with sleep was easily distracted by the implications of Yoda’s presence. So much so, that the native Coruscanti failed to notice a certain, nearly 900-year-old Jedi’s arrival. As a wise Master Jedi often does, Yoda sensed Kenobi’s confusion the moment his feet met with the transport floor. He eyed the younger Jedi for a moment until their gazes suddenly met. Kenobi respectfully clasped his hands behind him, nodding at his arrival.

"A new mission, you and Anakin have.” Master Yoda signaled the transport pilot to take off with the motion of a hand as he turned to scan the hilly sand dunes. Obi-Wan matched his stare, wondering if there was something out there; some wisdom the older Jedi gleaned from the three moons in the distance.

Kenobi raised each eyebrow in intrigue as he glanced down at the shorter man, ignoring how the sand around the transport billowed from its ascent. “Oh? What does this mission entail?”

Yoda’s eyes remained locked on the landscape, back facing him. “Explain, I will. Collect Anakin and his young padawan first, we must”

The trip from The Negotiator to Jabba’s palace was quiet, but short. Kenobi was interested in seeing if Anakin and his new Padawan resolved differences so clearly displayed on Christophsis. Despite Anakin’s well-known stubbornness, he had hope. From what little he saw, Ahsoka seemed to have that bright, fiery personality needed to challenge Anakin’s own. His musings were soon answered as the transport neared the palace. Even from hundreds of feet away, it was clear to Obi-Wan that Anakin and Ahsoka seemed to have reconciled, with bright smiles that stood in stark contrast against Tatooine’s muted, emotionless environment. He was pleasantly surprised to sense the first drops of respect between the two, like fresh rainwater after millennia of drought.

As the transport began its landing protocols, Obi-Wan closed his eyes to rest his mind. A small smirk tugged at the corner of his mouth. The bearded Jedi felt an air of… perception in the force. Likely Yoda’s wise prediction of this outcome from the start. Master Yoda always had a profound understanding of Jedi connections— which Master-Padawan assignments would work best, which younglins were friends and foes, and, most recently, which Jedis could collaborate in addressing the intricacies of politics, and the horrors of war.

The transport displaced the swirling sand below as they made their final descent. Obi-Wan glanced at Master Yoda when the transport touched down and settled. As if on cue, Master Yoda stepped onto the hot sand and moved toward the duo. While Obi-Wan followed and neared Anakin and Ahsoka, the strength of their connection became increasingly perceptible, challenging Kenobi’s composure to keep a neutral face. He was pleased.

Yoda glanced between Master and Padawan. “A new mission, you are needed on. Rejoin your battalions and travel to Naboo, you must”

As the four boarded the transport and headed back to Kenobi’s ship, Master Yoda informed the trio that the 212th and 501st had been called to Naboo to collect vital medical supplies for a planetoid in the Outer Rim, known as Polis Massa. Their main medical facility, aiding in the treatment and sanctuary of war victims, was experiencing a concerning depletion of medications, bacta patches, and other stock. The sudden arrival of a large planetary entourage of refugees has disrupted their timeline of available reserves from months to merely a week. After a general representative shared these concerns with the Senate days prior, Naboo Senator Padme Amidala graciously offered a large donation of medical supplies to keep the facility functional and the refugees safe. The Jedi were tasked with the transport, and due to the scale of the cargo, two warships were needed.

Obi-Wan’s mind jumped to his recent experience on the young senator’s vibrantly lush and florid planet. He remembers how The Negotiator and The Resolute’s arrival on Naboo was met with noticeable excitement. It began while discussing offloading logistics with the lead Commander.

“General,” Commander Cody glanced back down at the datapad in hand. “This manifest won’t make that timeline possible. Even if we assign every available trooper, it will take at least a week to fully load the cargo. Most of the crates with medication or medical devices are too delicate for the average loadlifter. And many of our troops aren’t trained in handling this type of equipment.”

General Kenobi sighed, gently stroking his chin in contemplation. At the time, the situation certainly posed an unfortunate fate for the refugees who were desperately waiting for these supplies. The issue was not new. The General, Commander, and other troop leaders had spent the entire journey from Tattoine to Naboo attempting to solve this very problem. Having had mere hours of sleep in the last few days, the General had difficulty allowing his mind to reach out to the force for any new ideas to aid in the formulation of a plan. The slight, sharp pounding in his right temple returned, an unfortunate, reoccurring experience that began when he boarded The Negotiator on Tatooine.

Suddenly, as if the Maker himself heard his doubts, Kenobi registered the click and persistent whirring of an opening cargo bay door. What piqued his interest and encouraged Kenobi to turn and assess the situation, however, was the sudden cacophony of loud commands, conversations, and footsteps behind him. Both General and Commander pivoted toward the scene, Cody lowering his datapad in distraction as Kenobi rested his hands on his hips in surprise. There were what looked like thousands of dockworkers as far as the eye could see, all in various states of loading The Negotiator with the medical supply crates. It was not a far-reach to assume that Anakin’s warship was receiving similar assistance. Kenobi shook his head, nearly kicking himself for ever doubting the efficiency of a mission involving Naboo.

“That’s some Senator, huh?” Commander Cody relayed as he gawked at the extra manpower, likely arranged by Padmé herself.

Kenobi smiled at the site. “Your eyes do not deceive you.” Cody called out to a few clones and motioned them to follow as he approached the crowd of dockworkers, orders at the ready.

With the generous assistance of Naboo’s finest citizens, a lot of commands from the confident Commander, and a weary General helping where he could, the starships were fully loaded and cleared for departure in less than a day, much to the bewilderment of Commander Cody. He made sure to remind the General as they made the final cargo checks that even though the pickup on Naboo was exceedingly fast, the offloading process would certainly take a week with Polis Massa’s lack of cargo staff. This, Kenobi could accept. At least with all the cargo already on the planet, the facility could coordinate with the Commander so to prioritize which supplies were offloaded first. The most desperate patients would have what they need in time.

The journey from Naboo to Polis Massa allowed General Kenobi to carry out a new set of duties. These were the first moments in the last few weeks in which he was finally free to file his reports. That meant many meetings, many questions, and writing every small detail down.

War between the Republic and the Separatists rarely left time for moments of respite, and the General was beginning to feel the effects deep in his bones. Occasionally, the head pounding returned. But what truly concerned Kenobi was how the lack of sleep began to play tricks on his mind. Formulating complex thoughts almost felt like drowning, and his mind seemed more easily swayed to the past. Kenobi remembers how this experience pressured him to finally concede— this last report would need to be followed by rest.

As the warships approached the asteroid field and the General completed the finishing touches to his final report, Kenobi received an urgent meeting request from Master Windu with the notation ‘sensitive.’ He remembers entering the empty war room, taking a deep breath from the exhaustion slowly creeping across his shoulders, and accepting the call on his Holopad. The blue, semi-transparent holograph of Mace Windu appeared before him. Only as his figure’s bright blue shine emanated a strong glow into the room did Kenobi realize he’d forgotten to turn on the lights.

“Master Kenobi, a pleasure, as always.”

“Master Windu.” Kenobi greeted.

He paused for a moment, just a moment, but it was long enough to indicate how long the last few days had truly been.

“I hope you’re getting some rest after the events of Christophsis and Tatooine.”

“As much as is possible, Master. The 212th and 501st have been called to deliver vital medical supplies from Naboo to Polis Massa.”

“I am aware. It may settle your mind to know that your time in the Outer Rim will be coming to a close shortly. All active-duty Jedi have been temporarily recalled to The Temple.”

Kenobi immediately grew concerned, especially when he noticed how the elder Master’s eyebrows creased ever so slightly. He frowned. “Master, may I ask what influenced this decision?”

“We will discuss it once you and Anakin arrive in the next few days. Please continue your mission to Polis Massa. The Council requests that once you arrive, you and Anakin arrange for transport back to Coruscant. Your battalions can unload the cargo themselves.”

Kenobi nodded. “Understood.” Once more, he paused. This time unsure if it was fatigue or apprehension. “Should I be concerned?”

This time, Windu embraced the silence, only offering the General a challenging stare.

“Please inform Anakin of this development. We will see you soon, Master.”

With that, Master Windu ended the communication, plunging Obi-Wan back into the darkness. As he remained in that dim, quiet war room, the General was left with a new, deep weight on his chest.

The General rubbed his face with a hand. Rest. He needed rest. Obi-Wan allowed his mind to briefly concentrate on his commitment— he would sleep as soon as the report was finished. It would only take a few more moments, he reassured himself. Then, the General would finally get some much-needed shuteye.

Kenobi relaxed. He was moments away from returning to the datapad when his mind wandered once more. He thought back to his conversation with Master Windu. This type of request from The Council and its level of urgency was unprecedented since the Separatist conflict began. It was difficult not to theorize about the severity of any event that would require the recall of thousands of Jedi. And it was moments like these where he would ask himself what Master Qui-Gon would do.

Obi-Wan tossed those thoughts to the back of his mind, shaking himself out of his stupor. These mild anxieties would disappear as soon as he rested his body, he knew that. And he was certainly looking forward to it. But first, Anakin.

He remembers how Anakin answered his Holopad request faster than expected. It wasn’t that Anakin was ever derelict in his duties, but he sometimes struggled with communication. Admittedly, it was usually because the man was too busy engaging in another risky, dangerous, or outright insane course of action.

However, this time, he answered. And no number of streaky lines in the holograph could hide the smirk spread across his face when his eyes met Obi-Wan’s.

“Miss me already, Master?” He crossed his arms while addressing his former Master. His longer hair shifted and head tilted slightly to the side.

Kenobi shook his head. “Hardly, The Council has called for all Jedi to return to Coruscant, including you and I.”

Anakin scrunched his nose as if a rancid plume of spoiled Giji stew entered his nostrils. “What for?”

“Unknown, but we are to arrange for transport back to Coruscant once we arrive on Polis Massa.”

Anakin nodded. “Got it.” Once more, he grinned. “Don’t worry, Master, I’ll find us a shuttle that will get us back in no time.”

Anakin ended the transmission, once more freeing the darkness to engulf Obi-Wan. His eyelids drooped. It took every strength not to immediately collapse to the floor and sleep. Just as he began to weigh the pros and cons of such an action, there was a sudden knock at the door.

“Yes, come in.”

Commander Cody entered, seeming somewhat out of breath. “General.” He breathed in once more, slowly and deeply. “Apologies,” he exhaled. Kenobi sensed threads of guilt from his person. “I’ve come to tell you that we’ve arrived at Polis Massa.”

The General smiled. “Thank you. I will be there in a moment.” As the Commander exited, Kenobi turned away from the door and back toward the black depths of the room. He sighed.

Another violent shake of the ship’s hull yanked Obi-Wan out of the past. Eyes shooting open only to rest in crinkled annoyance as he side-eyed Anakin in the pilot’s seat.

“Anakin, if I had known that you’d choose a shuttle barely cleared for travel, I would have made my own arrangements.”

Anakin huffed as he negotiated with the Emissary-class shuttle’s controls. “This wasn’t my first choice either, Master.”

Another loud rumble reverberated throughout the cabin. “I thought you were one of the better pilots in the Jedi order?” Ahsoka’s irritation poured from the backseat and flowed around the senses of the two senior Jedi. Obi-Wan stifled a laugh as Anakin’s frown deepened. His grip tightened around the throttle.

“There was no way for me to know that the only available ship capable of galactic travel on that planet was decommissioned hundreds of years ago.” He groaned. “They don’t even make parts for this piece of junk anymore!”

“You call this capable?”

“Snips…”

Despite losing any hope of sleep with the stress of traveling in a rusted space bucket, Obi-Wan couldn’t help but playfully add to Ahsoka’s antagonizations.

“She has a point, Anakin.” He motioned at the hull. “For someone who boasts about their engineering talents, I would have thought that this trip would be smoother.”

Obi-Wan and Ahsoka were sure that if they’d looked over at the frustrated pilot, they’d have seen steam blasting out of each red-tinted ear framing Anakin’s flushed face. Without any retort, he let out a defeated huff and refocused on navigating the trio out of the Outer Rim.

Ahsoka snickered as Kenobi used this cue to once more lean back and close his eyes. But despite how much his body ached for rest, his mind wandered to The Council once more.

Then, there was an explosion.

Obi-Wan was shocked into consciousness. He sat up quickly, knocking off some of the robe blankets. Alarms blared and red lights flashed. “What happened?!”

“Something hit the ship. Sublight engines are damaged.” Anakin began to frantically negotiate with the shuttle’s controls, looking increasingly concerned as he continued. “Whatever it was, I have no control over them anymore.”

“Can you fix them?!” Ahsoka yelled out, trying to be heard over the commotion.

“Working… on… it,” Anakin gritted. But despite each new attempt, the shuttle continued to hurtle in a dangerous direction.

“Anakin,” Obi-Wan warned. “You’re taking us directly toward the gravitational field of that planet.”

“I know!” Anakin yelled. He continued to fight with the controls. Eventually, he jumped up and stumbled over to a viewing window, hoping to catch a glimpse of the damage from the side.

He sighed, still examining the engines. “Well, whatever it was, it’s permanently changed the direction of the engines.” He glanced back at Obi-Wan and Ahsoka with a look of dismay. “I can’t fix them. We’re going to crash.”

“Do you always crash the ships you pilot?!” Ahsoka exclaimed as she began to brace herself for the planet’s gravitational pull.

Anakin ignored her. He returned to the controls in hopes of making their crash landing as soft as possible.

Obi-Wan crossed his arms and sighed as he felt the new root of a gray hair form. “Always a joy flying with you, Anakin.”

The deafening noise of the croaking hull reached an all-time high as they entered the atmosphere. The three passengers began to sweat, the heat of their reentry taking its toll. As they passed the planet’s cloud layer, the craft’s violent shaking achieved its peak.

If Anakin gripped the clutch with any more strength, it would’ve surely splintered. His teeth clenched and eyes remained alert as he mumbled his internal calculations out loud, a slight pause in between each one.

“700 meters, 600 meters, 500 meters…”

As they rapidly neared the planet’s icy surface, Anakin yanked the controls toward himself and down. What remained of the engines wined out a high-pitched drone as the shuttle struggled to level out with the planet’s surface.

“400 meters, 300 meters, 200 meters…”

Ashoka looked away, nails digging into her seat as Kenobi tried to blanket the three of them with a protective force barrier.

“100 meters… brace yourselves!”

The engines’ wine accelerated in intensity and volume as the craft’s belly made contact with a snowy bank.

The impact’s shock finally gave General Kenobi the longest rest he’s had in days.

—

The soft heat of the Tauntaun’s fur warmed your fingers with each stroke as you plunged your hands across her muscular chest. She huffed in contentment, hot steam shooting from her nostrils into the subfreezing air, and across your face. The sensation tickled your cheeks. A giggle bubbled up from your stomach as you rested a cheek against her warm frame. You briefly think back to when you were both young. You absolutely could not stand her smell when you first met her, but companionship has its way of encouraging two beings to attune to each other.

Moments like these in the desolate, icy graveyard of Hoth always helped you recharge after hours-long scavenging trips. You turned and took a few steps away from your steed to look out at the horizon, readjusting the sack of lichen that hung across your shoulder. You knew that you needed to start heading back to the shelter. The trip would take an hour, and night was beginning to creep across the horizon. What’s more, the edges of your boots were beginning to dampen from hours in the snow. At least you had your thick Wampa cape, which encased your body in warmth.

Another huff, this time disgruntled, sounded behind you.

You turned to the beast with a smile. “Oh Meetra,” you sighed. “I’m tired too. We’ll head back soon.” You reached up and scratched behind her ears. The Tauntaun relaxed as the tension in her muscles began to release.

Suddenly, a deafening boom sounded from above and behind you. You flinched, your body shocked out of Hoth’s calm surroundings. Meetra, equally startled, tried to pull and sprint away, but you grabbed the reigns tightly, keeping her calm. You spun around, eyes glued to the sky as a mechanical moan emanated from the atmosphere, its source still invisible in the blue sky. But in an instant, a gray, round shape with smoke trailing behind shot through a cloud and barreled toward the planet’s surface. You watched as what looked like a ship tried to level its descent miles away. In the back of your mind, you hoped that your dear friend, who you last saw years ago, was not inside. Within seconds of that thought, the ship made contact with the ground. A blast of sound and burst of snow left in its wake.

As you watched thin trails of smoke begin to billow in the distance, you felt a sudden pang in your heart, and pull to the wreckage. There could be survivors in desperate need of help, you thought. Maybe they needed medicine, or bacta patches. You contemplated the emotions of whoever may have lived through such a brutal incident. Scared, hopeless, confused— you could identify with those sentiments.

But it didn’t take long for the warnings you’ve heard all your life to creep into your mind. If you broke your agreement, you knew you might regret it. Not just for your own sake, but his too.

“Stay safe. No unnecessary risks. I’ll return soon.”

“I promise.”

A grumble escaped your lips. You agreed to stay out of trouble, to wait. But it’s been so long. Years. Nearly a decade, if you followed the stars correctly.

Then again, he knew your nature. He accepted long, long ago that you were too curious for your own good. He probably thought to himself, as he watched you grow, how your kindness, determination, and sympathetic soul were sure to get you into trouble.

You knew yourself, and you knew he was right. But you could not stand idly by and watch. He’d understand.

You turned back and took a few strides toward Meetra before slinging a leg over the Tauntaun’s body and mounting her bare back. You kept a tight hold of the reigns and angled her head toward the crash site.

“Let’s go girl.” You clicked your tongue twice, signaling her to move. “Let’s check it out.”

Meetra vocalized as she took her first stride forward. Her feet crunched the freshly dusted snow, stamping large tracks behind you.

—

Obi-Wan felt cold air blow across his face and ice dust his fingertips long before having the energy to open his eyes. Slowly, but surely, he tested the movement of his toes, knees, and elbows before checking his sight. Obi-Wan groaned, rubbing his face before assessing one eyelid at a time. Blinding sunrays poked through a small hole in the viewport, lightly burning his eyes. A groan escaped his throat.

Once his vision readjusted, Obi-Wan was able to glance around the cabin. The shuttle was delicately balanced on its right side, gravity attempting to pull them down to the shuttle’s edge. The hull creaked and moaned as snow continued to escape through the viewport hole, adding to the light blanket of ice around the trio. Obi-Wan turned to his left and saw that much like himself, Ahsoka and Anakin were thankfully not thrown from their seats, likely due to the elder Jedi’s last-minute force shield around them. Their arms and legs hung toward him, following gravity’s pull. As he examined the two more closely, Obi-Wan could tell that Ahsoka had regained consciousness only moments ago. Anakin seemed to be in the throes of coming around, his head bobbing side-to-side in discomfort.

“Is everyone alright?” Obi-Wan cleared his throat after his voice cracked.

“I think so,” Ahsoka responded. She began to rub her montrals as if responding to a migraine.

“Here.” Obi-Wan tossed her one of the robes that had fallen to the ground. “It will be colder once we exit.” Ashoka silently thanked him as she slipped it on.

“That wasn’t too bad.” Anakin was suddenly wide awake, an air of contentment emanating from his force signature. Obi-Wan rolled his eyes as he tossed him another robe, this time without warning. Anakin caught it easily despite the distraction from patting himself on the back for his personal definition of an easy landing.

Ahsoka’s eyes narrowed. “What would have been good was not crashing in the first place.”

Clearly, the young Padawan was equally in deep need of real respite like the rest of them, Obi-Wan thought. As their conversation continued, he finally found the energy to stand, taking this moment to observe the hull.

“Well too bad, Snips.” Anakin retorted as he shrugged on the thick cloak. “We’re already here.”

Obi-Wan sighed as he assessed the damage. “Is it repairable?”

“Honestly? I’m not sure.” Anakin stood and hiked up to the shuttle’s exit, using the force as support against the gravity actively pulling him down. The mechanical creaks and cracks heightened with new movement. Ahsoka grabbed her armrest and jumped over it toward the door. Obi-Wan took a few wide strides to follow. Once the three reached the wall that was now the ceiling, Anakin opened the door with a click and whoosh.

The cold bite of an air blast attacked their faces and pockets of exposed skin. Anakin shielded his eyes from sudden bright light and surveyed his surroundings. His former Master and Padawan peered out from either side of him. The trio stood there for only a moment, staring out at miles upon miles of empty terrain, ice, and snow banks.

Anakin jumped out, gently landing on the surface ten free below. Obi-Wan and Ahsoka swiftly followed with equal elegance. As Anakin made his way toward the engines to assess the damage, Obi-Wan used the moment to scan their surroundings further. The sound of Anakin ripping off panels and testing the shuttle’s internal mechanisms echoed off the naked ice patches dotted around them.

He closed his eyes, reaching out cautiously with his mind to feel the area’s energy. There were clusters of forces, small and animal-like, scattered miles away, with one group especially concentrated in a cave, the entrance of which Obi-Wan spotted a few miles West. He relaxed, feeling comfortable enough to deepen his connection with his surroundings.

Obi-Wan’s head tilted and eyebrow raised when he felt particularly strange activity to the South. There was an extremely weak force signature, almost like a dying creature. But it didn’t feel like the sensation of a semi-sentient being. There was depth, conflict in the shaky signal.

He huffed, eyebrows creasing as he attempted to dig his heels deeper into the fleeting feeling. But just as he was getting a better grip, the life force disappeared. Maybe it truly was just a small animal, meeting their Maker.

Obi-Wan opened his eyes. The bright light reflected off the snow and into his retinas.

He knew which planet they had crash-landed on. It shared its name with this system. Nevertheless, he enjoyed using these unexpected moments as a learning opportunity.

“Do you know what planet we’re on?” He said as he turned to look at the young Togruta.

Ahsoka pondered his inquiry. She observed the region, surveying the planet before looking down at the sleet encapsulating her feet. She lightly kicked some snow as she formulated her thoughts.

“Hoth, right?” She questioned.

Obi-Wan smiled. “Very good.” He turned back to the distant ice cave, hoping to get a better sense of the creatures within. It was possible that they might emerge to investigate the excitement of their crash landing. The boom was likely heard from miles away.

“I remember reading about the Skell beings on this planet.” Ahsoka mused. “They refused to choose a side during the old civil war. Instead, they attacked everyone within moments of seeing them.” Her voice stuttered as she finished. The cold was beginning to affect her.

Obi-Wan was pleasantly surprised. “I’m impressed by your knowledge, Ahsoka.” He made sure to raise his voice a little. “Clearly, you took your studies more seriously than Anakin.”

“I can still hear you!” Anakin yelled from behind the engines and he stood up, followed by a sharp clang. “Ow!”

“It looks like you could use a hand.”

Obi-Wan whirled around at the sound of a new voice as Ahsoka followed suit. His eyes met a figure with y/h/c hair and piercing silver eyes that glimmered in the sunlight. The figure sat atop a large, furry beast with two horns framing its round snout. A sizable white furred drape wrapped around their torso and hid their legs.

“Hello there.” Obi-Wan greeted.

Hearing all the commotion, Anakin peaked around the back of the shuttle, rubbing the back of his head in defeat. Curiosity paused his assessment, pushing him to join the others.

The beast huffed and lightly stomped its feet at the presence of strangers. The stranger hushed the animal, stroking its neck to calm it before throwing a leg across its back and demounting.

“I saw your ship crash a few miles back.” They explained as they took a few strides forward. “You should know that recreational hunting on this planet is illegal.”

“We’re not hunters...” Ahsoka clarified.

“Just travelers who lost their way.” Obi-Wan cut in. The young Padawan has yet to learn that these days, strangers fear the Jedi in the Outer Rim. Best to remain anonymous.

—

“Well, you better find shelter soon.” You advised. “The surface temperatures drop too low for non-indigenous beings to survive after sundown.” Everyone seemed alive and healthy when you arrived, you thought. You sensed that the trio before you was more than capable of handling their own affairs from this point forward, so you turned and walked back toward Meetra, satisfied with your investigation.

“Do you live nearby?” The older, bearded man quickly asked. You paused. You knew you shouldn’t indulge the questions of strangers, but curiosity got the best of you. You spun to face the man. He took a few steps toward you. “Is there a village somewhere? We have yet to find signs of civilization.”

Your friend’s voice echoed in the back of your mind.

“Stay safe. No unnecessary risks.”

You took a step back.

The older man paused mid-step as he analyzed your features. He silently apologized by gently lowering his foot back beside the other. The man smiled, likely hoping to make you more comfortable.

“No village.” You paused, internally sighing. You wondered whether you would regret this decision, despite knowing deep in your bones that it was the right thing to do. To help them. To guide them toward survival on this planetoid death trap.

But then your mind pulls you back to your promise. A promise you intended to keep. Still, you had thrown away any semblance of cautiousness hours ago when you first decided to explore the wreckage, you reasoned.

You eyed the hunk of metal once more. It certainly was beaten up. But despite the many dents, holes, and obviously mangled engines, the fact that it wasn’t a pile of parts was simply a miracle.

“I’m surprised your ship suffered such little damage.” You exclaimed, glancing back at the trio. “I wasn’t expecting to find a ship at all with your reentry.” As you finished, you noticed the younger man’s frown at that comment.

The bearded gentleman smiled. “We were very lucky.”

The whistling of chilly wind filled the brief silence. It whirled around the four of you, threatening to take all of your cloaks off your very back. They were sure to perish if they remained out here for any longer.

You internally groaned, knowing that you’ve already made your decision. No avoiding it now.

“There’s no village.” You took a deep breath, hardening your face in case this group was not who they said they were. Best to seem somewhat tough. “But you’re welcome to accompany me back to my shelter. There should be room for everyone.”

The bearded man’s eyes brightened at the gesture. “That is very kind of you.” He seemed sincere.

You could see that the young Togruta behind him also relaxed. She seemed to be especially affected by the cold as she lightly shook. The idea of a warm place to rest surely put her mind at ease. The younger man seemed somewhat surprised, but equally content.

You relaxed at their innocent features, and grinned. “It will take a few hours so we better leave now.” You turned again and walked to Meetra’s side before pausing once more. You faced the trio. “I only have one Tauntaun and she can only carry two people at a time. We’ll need to take turns.” You climbed onto your steed.

“Sounds good to me!” The younger man blurted out. He lightly jogged up to the Tauntaun with a relaxed countenance before jumping up and mounting the steed behind you. You could tell that their younger companion was annoyed with their compatriot’s blatant gall. The man glanced over your shoulder. “My name’s Anakin, by the way.” His toothy grin caught the light.

You chuckled, glancing over at the young man. “Nice to meet you.”

“This is Ahsoka.” The bearded man motioned to the young girl. “And I am Obi-Wan.” He placed a hand against his chest.

Their bright spirits lightened your soul. “It’s a pleasure.” You steered Meetra around toward the shelter far behind you. Clicking your tongue, you began the journey.

“So this shelter,” Anakin started. His head returned to hover over your left shoulder. “You don’t happen to have any century-old shuttle parts or schematics…”

“Anakin,” Obi-Wan warned as his march met Meetra’s pace to your right, Ahsoka in tow.

Your bright laughter filled the air as you further relaxed. When you looked back at Anakin you noticed Obi-Wan’s comforting smile out of the corner of your eye. “You know…” you teased. “You may be in luck. Useless centuries-old knowledge is probably all I have.”

Anakin seemed satisfied with your witty retort as he leaned back with a pleased utterance. In your peripheral, you could see Obi-Wan’s interest was piqued by the lift of his eyebrows. He looked out West, into the distance, clearly contemplating your words.

After a moment, his gaze shifted back to the caravan, catching your eye. His features lightened. “I believe I missed your name.” Obi-Wan challenged.

You turned back toward the path ahead and smiled. “Y/n.”

“Hmm.” You glanced back at his vocalization. He stroked his beard while his gaze returned to the West.

“Y/n”

[lauransoverthinking]

Currently overthinking: how obsessed some of fandom is with the idea of punishment for the sake of punishment, instead of learning from mistakes, and how the Jedi are very clearly team learn and grow.

The most “punishment” thing I can think of that we see the Jedi do is assigning Ahsoka to archives duty, but that is clearly meant as ‘get you off the front lines and have you reflect on your actions’ time, not so much a true punishment.

Where we see the Jedi go hard on proclaiming their allegiance to team learn and grow is Dark Disciple (if you haven’t read and don’t want to be spoiled, turn back now because I am about to spoil the shit out of that book).

Vos falls.

Not just dabble a little in the dark side falls.

Falls and pledges himself to Dooku and kills Jedi and clones.

Jedi Knight Kav Bayons

Jedi Knight Akar-Deshu

They died because of Vos.

It can be argued it was unintentional (Vos shoved Deshu into Bayons causing Deshu to sting Bayons. Losing his stinger also would have killed Deshu, but Vos killed him first) but that doesn’t change the fact that Vos is responsible for the deaths of two Jedi, as well as the clones killed in his escape with Dooku (catch me being forever salty over the unnamed clones who die).

He goes by Admiral Enigma and terrorizes the GAR for months.

When the story resolves and Vos returns to the light, do we see him thrown in prison? Executed?

No. We don’t see either of those things.

We see the council intentionally obfuscate and hide these facts from the military (because the military does love punishment and executions).

We see Vos confined to the temple while he heals.

We see Master Yoda spend extra time with him to ensure he rehabilitates successfully.

We see a probationary period to determine if he has really came back to the light.

This is extra important because earlier in the story we saw him return to the Jedi and fool them (some of them, Master Windu was so suspicious of him because Master Windu is a smart smart person)!

And yet, they still believed that he could return to the light and should be given that opportunity.

And he does! He comes back. And he resumes his role in the war. And when everything falls apart he continues trying to help.

And he gets that opportunity because the Jedi do not believe in punishment as justice the way some do.

Repentance and growth. That is the Jedi.

And yet, every day, I see people trying to set the Jedi up as enforcers of prison terms and executioners, because they don’t think people got what they ‘deserved’ in canon.

But that is all a gross misrepresentation of the Jedi.

Ahsoka’s trial and possible execution was not the way the Jedi would have proceeded- it was the GAR and the Republic. Which is probably why the GAR ensured the Jedi couldn’t handle it themselves - there would have been no justice theatre and no blood.

It is not pro-Jedi to insist on punishment and retribution as justice. At its heart, punishment is revenge. And revenge is not the Jedi way.

[marierg]

Of Light and Darkness: Ch 2

Pairing: (Eventual) Obi Wan Kenobi X Reader- he makes a first appearance

WARNINGS!: Guilt, Death, funerals, not light reading

A/N: I grew up and work in public safety so some of this is based in truth. I'm Still figuring out how to do Pics and GIFs and links properly, thanks again for the patience!

Secondary note: Pic above is from the web but is an actual military medical pin.

Word Count: I gave up after I counted to 300….so a lot.

Part 1 here:

Masterlist Next part

Y/N finished the mission, because that was what Master Melri would have done.  You flew back to the Temple with her body to be interred in the tombs, because that was proper.  But nothing could dull the pain and emptiness you felt.  Upon arrival you were checked over and then requested to the Council chambers.  The report to them was made mostly while looking at the ground.  Surprisingly Master Qui Gon Jinn was there, and though not a member of the council he was called in from time to time.  Given his friendship with your Master and his knowledge of the mission this was more than likely the reason.  If nothing else he was a reassuring presence to you, making the whole ordeal more endurable.  The next day would be the funeral and you didn’t even want to think past the here and now. 

“Great courage you have shown young one.  Injured are you?”

“No Master Yoda, I am alright.”  You truthfully wanted nothing more than to leave and would have said anything to do so.  The dark circles under your eyes betrayed that answer to the council, though they chose not to push further. 

“Rest now you must, young Y/n.”  Master Yoda was observing you with what could only be called concern.  A part of you was now broken and would not easily be fixed.  A separation from the Force from trauma was always dangerous for a Jedi.  Yoda hoped that with time it, you would heal, but it was too early yet to tell. 

“Yes Master.”

 You sighed, bowed, and exited out the door.  Yoda then turned to the other council members gathered. “Weary is this Padawan, seen much she has.  Too much for one so young.  A new Master she will need.  A wise Master, hmm?” 

Master Mace Windu had been silent throughout the brief, he could feel the sorrow radiating off the girl the minute she had landed.  That she had finished the mission and held herself as well as she did was a testament to her training and mentorship.  “But who among the Masters could she be assigned, most of the other healers either have Padawans of their own or are due for inactive service?” 

“Who indeed?”  Yoda turned to the control panel on his chair bringing up a message.  “A different path for now this Padawan will walk.  Instructions left for us there are.  Prepared was the Master, yes.”  And with that a holo message began to play.  Mace looked upon the face of his friend once more, the message must only have been made in the last year or two.

“Masters if you are hearing this then I will not be returning to you.” Most looked down but not him he wanted to see her one more time as she was. “With that said my Padawan will need looking after.  Though there are many wonderful Masters amongst our ranks, this young one will need a steady hand.  Y/n is strong and a wonderful student, though the Crecheling can be a stubborn pain in the ass at times.” 

Qui Gon sighed and smiled sadly, Melri had always spoken so plainly that occasionally it bordered on blunt.  The woman simply had no filter, and he would miss her all the more.  An honest person was a rare find. 

“but she has a wonderful mind and a kind heart, some might not appreciate that.  With that said I would request that should she need to be reassigned that Master Windu take her as his apprentice.”

“What?” He was stunned. No beyond stunned, he was perplexed. Why would she choose him?

“Qui Gon already has his hands full, and I trust that the wise Master Windu will know when to seek guidance, though I have a feeling it might pain him mortally to do so.”  The image flickered a snicker of a smile as Melri chortled at this thought.  “My friends please, both of you, look after my girl.  I know you will help her to be the extraordinary Jedi I see in her.  Please look after each other, and do not mourn long for I am home.”  At that the message ended.

“Master Yoda surely there must be someone else?” 

“Argue her wisdom, I will not.”  Yoda looked at his fellow council member.  “Help this Padawan you must, learn much from you she can.”

“I think it’ll be a wonderful experience for you.” Qui Gon smirked sadly from across the room where he had been leaning.  “If anyone will understand the trauma that this girl has passed through it would be you.  More so you were a friend to Melri, a living link to a lost master.”

“I will consider it.  The council will have my decision by tomorrow.”

At that Master Windu rose from his chair and left.  Most of the other Council members filed out soon after leaving Qui Gon and Yoda last.  “You know he hasn’t taken on an apprentice in quite some time.” 

“Know this I do.” Yoda looked to Qui Gon. “But follow Melri’s wishes I believe he will.”

“I will aid them both if I can Master.  Though I feel that it may not be accepted if offered.”  Qui Gon replied dubiously as they passed through the halls.  “What the girl needs is a friend, someone her age to talk with.  Not another adult to tell her what to do.”

Yoda considered this a moment.  It was true enough that because of the many missions that both the Master and Padawan had been on that Y/n hadn’t interacted with many others her age.  In fact the youngling hadn’t been in the Temple longer than a few months at a stretch since she was chosen as an apprentice.  “With Obi Wan she could train, Perhaps?”

“He could certainly use a training partner other than myself.  And I could keep a closer watch on her.”

“Agreed we are then.”

Yoda nodded.  The young Kenobi could do with a friend as well, and if Y/n was anything like master Melri.  This made the old Master smile.  Since Obi Wan had returned to the order he was still having trouble connecting with others.  Qui Gon smiled conspiratorially, this would be interesting indeed.

You couldn’t sleep even if you had wished too.  You prepared for the funeral, trying to do the next right thing.  That morning you knew that many Jedi would come to pay their respects to Master Melri.  Taking a deep breath you grabbed the small bag that was by the door, intent on doing one last thing for Her, even if it did get you into trouble.  Placing the bag in your robe pocket you passed into the hallway. 

“Padawan L/n”

Startled you turned to find none other than Master Windu.  You bowed to him out of respect. “Master Windu, I’m sorry Sir did the Council try to call me?” 

“No, I have come to escort you.”  His reply was even, but Y/n could sense that there was more there.  Now was not the time though and you were far too tired. 

“Thank you, Master.”  Walking towards the main pavilion Master Windu began to speak.

“I am sorry for your loss Padawan L/n”

“And yours Master.”

“Melri was unique, touching so many lives.  She was a Jedi in every meaning of the title.”  You stopped walking to look at him.  Master Windu continued.  “Not just to the Jedi, but to all.  You should know that there is a gathering of citizens wanting to pay their respects to her.  I didn’t want you to be surprised.”

If you had been dropped in a nest of gundarks you still would have been less surprised, but then again maybe not.  From the walkway entrance at your tower to the main temple lining the plaza were row upon row of humans and other lifeforms.  There was the Republic Rescue Corps, the Coriscant General Hospital Nurses and Doctors, The Correlian Flight Rescue, and many other aid organizations. 

Senators of all the systems, the Chancelor himself was there!  Further down were friends you had come to know just as well as your Master did.  Keeya the owner of the Diner on level 20, Sweet Mafa and his crew, the 44 rouges, even the old retired veteran responders that she would check in on were there, and each stood at full attention, though you knew it hurt many of them to move at all.  You were on the verge of tears again. 

“They came for her…”

Making your way through the main temple there was yet another greeting committee, every Jedi in the temple and many from off world.  As hard as you tried to keep it together a few wayward tears did escape.  Finally making it to the tomb there was a smaller gathering of the Council and the closest friends including Master Qui Gon and his apprentice.  You didn’t know the boy’s name, but he none the less offered you a kind nod.   

 As the tradition held it would be your job to place Master Melri’s lightsaber with her and to say a few words.  Most of what had kept you up the night before, other than the sleep terrors, was the search for what to say.  When the time came you stepped forward and pulled the bag from your robes.  From inside you retrieved two things.  Your Master’s lightsaber and a handful of Kaf grinds.  Many present smiled if even somewhat bemused because it was exactly what Melri would have done.  You placed both within the tomb and began to speak.

 “Long have I traveled, far have I gone.  Friends on my path many are found.  Long have I journeyed this galaxy far, where ever my path, many the language and song.  But now I shall rest, cry not for me.”  You had to take a steadying breath.  “For I am one with the force, and with you always shall I be.” 

After the funeral you left the Temple just wanting to be alone.  Heading for the city gardens just needing to clear your head.  Plopping down into your favorite bench you finally let the tears flow out, not caring if it was wrong or right, you just needed to feel something.  Something beyond the cold hollow pit in your chest.  It wasn’t a torrential sob, but a quiet mourning for all that could have been and was now gone. 

“May I sit?” 

You jumped practically off the bench hearing Master Windu, who did not wait for an acknowledgement of his question before taking the bench across from you.  “I did not know that you had read the Legends of Jeda?”

“Master Melri used to read them to me when I was a youngling.”

He nodded his head at this.  “It was well said.” 

Both of you sat there in silence for a time.  “Master Windu I sense that perhaps there was something more you wanted to say?”

“Yes.  The council has reassigned you.”  You winced at this, it was still far too soon.  Getting up you walked over to the night blooms.

“I see.  And who am I being assigned too?” you tried to keep an even tone.

“It was decided that you should be assigned to me.”

 You pondered this still looking at the blooms.   If you hadn’t been exhausted you probably wouldn’t have let the question slip your tongue, none the less it came out. “Why would you want me for an apprentice Sir?  I’m not exactly stellar material.” 

You felt the weight of you Masters death once more.  Foremost in your mind you didn’t want to be responsible for yet another Master’s life, much less the Head of the Jedi Council.  Master Windu could sense the guilt, recognized it for what it was.  “This was not your fault Padawan Y/n.”

 The fact that he had used your first name got you to turn your head.  “Melri knew the risks and did what every good Master would, she protected her Padawan.  You must let this go.  Even the greatest of our order cannot save everyone.”  It struck Master Windu that these were the very words that were said to him time and again over the years. 

Missions failed, good people died, and he never forgot their names or faces.  He never let that go because it made him work harder, fight harder, be a better Jedi.  Sighing at the irony of the situation.  “I apologize.  Your feelings is not without merit, it is logical even.  What you must learn is to take from this lesson and move forward to the next fight.  I will be at the Temple when you are ready.”  Standing he turned to leave. “But I do expect you to be back before curfew.”  

You thought about what Master Windu said for a long time.  You eventually left the gardens and headed back to the temple.  Finding him the next day your training began anew.

[tommysparker]

Never Forget You [Chapter 3]

Obi-Wan Kenobi x Jedi!Reader

A/N: hey y’all! thank you for your patience with this chapter. enjoy!! :) [also totally didn’t have this in my drafts then forget to post earlier pfftttt whaaaatt?]

Warnings: angst with a tiny amount of fluff. anakin finally makes his debut in this series. it gets better just stay with me. long italic paragraphs = flashbacks

Anakin Skywalker had witnessed many things over the years. 

Giant beasts? At least once a week. Sith Lords? Becoming too common. Droid armies? All year long. Looking death in the eye? Simply another day in the life of a Jedi. 

Nothing could ever have prepared him for the sight he was currently witnessing. 

Obi-Wan Kenobi, his Master, The Negotiator, the Jedi Council’s most prized Jedi…sulking.

It has been a full week since You returned to the Jedi Temple and Anakin couldn’t help to think his former Master’s mood and your arrival were connected. He was vaguely aware of your past friendship, only hearing bits and pieces of the adventures you had together as Padawans. 

During his days under Obi-Wan’s apprenticeship he would often hear about how “a wise Jedi I once knew” would do certain things. He wanted to know more about this oh-so-great Jedi, however, any time the young boy asked his Master would always brush him off with a mournful look in his eyes.  

He didn’t understand at the time but now he’s beginning to piece together that perhaps there was something more between the two of you. 

“You think Master Y/l/n and Master Kenobi were courting?” 

“Keep your voice down, Snips,” Anakin hushed.

“Sorry, sorry. But Master,” Ahsoka lowers her voice, “what led you to that conclusion? I’ve hardly seen them together since Master Y/l/n came back. What makes you think they could be lovers?” 

“That’s just it, Ahoska. They’ve been avoiding each other like the Rakghoul plague. Obi-Wan told me they were such good friends, and now that they’re back they can’t stand to be in the same room as each other? I don’t buy it.” Anakin looked back to where Obi-Wan sat with Commander Cody, no doubt brainstorming new battle tactics and liberation plans. 

“So what do you suppose we do? Set them up or something?” The look her Master gave her made her regret her words the moment they left her mouth. 

“Come on, Snips. It’s a good idea. We get them to stay in the same room so they have no choice but to confront each other and talk things out! It’s genius.” Anakin smiled, his eyes still on his former Master. He had a feeling if Obi-Wan were to find out about this plan he would be in for a major lecture but he couldn’t bring himself to care at the moment. He couldn’t stand to see the old man look so miserable, not if he can do anything about it. 

Ahsoka crossed her arms and followed her Master’s gaze. Something was clearly different about her Grand-Master. He had put his full attention into ending the war, which wasn’t new. However, she could tell something was off. He no longer came out to the landing zone to greet returning fighters, stayed away from the meditation and training centers as well as the Jedi Archives which was the most off-putting observation considering that was where he spent most of his time.

Anytime someone needed to find Obi-Wan Kenobi, the first place they would check was the ancient history section of the Jedi Archives. 

“I don’t know why you find so much interest in these old books Y/n/n,” Obi-Wan complained from across the table. “Can’t we go practice our lightsaber skills instead?” 

You smiled. “Nuh uh, mister. If I won the wager you promised to sit with me during my reading time. Now shush, and read.” You pushed the unopened textbook toward the pouting Padawan. “Maybe you’ll actually learn something.” 

Obi-Wan stuck his tongue out in a childish manner, sighing dramatically when you gave him a certain look and reluctantly opened the cover and began to read Tales of The Old Republic. 

Safe to say from that point onward, Obi-Wan would join your daily Archive visits with zero complaints. 

You close the book, careful to make sure no pages fell out and gently push it back into its place on the shelf. Using the force, you carefully push the ladder you were currently standing on over to the next column and begin nitpicking through the array of old texts. 

It took a few days for you to settle in and readjust to the Jedi Temple life. Once you had, however, things quickly took a turn. 

Master Yoda requested that you help train some of the younglings who were having trouble advancing into the next stages of becoming a Jedi. In all honesty, you much rather have had the freedom to roam for at least one more week, but the new role presented an excuse to not be around a certain blue-eyed Jedi. 

“Looking for something?” 

The voice startled you, causing you to jump and lose your balance on the ladder. You yelp as you begin to fall towards the ground, bracing yourself for the hash impact and the bruises that would add to the collection on your side still currently healing.  

Instead, you feel a pair of arms catch you, one under your back and the other behind your knees in a classic bridal style. The hold felt secure instantly, and you instinctively clung to the tunic of your savior. You look up to thank the person for preventing any injuries, but the blue eyes staring back at you made your mind go blank. 

Obi-Wan stared back, unsure of what to say. This was the closest he has been to you since you left a decade ago. He longed to have you in his arms, to hug you, to regain that safety net you provided he knew he could always fall back on.

“Um...thank you, General.” It came out as more of a question, your mind still reeling from almost falling and also the fact that the man who you had been actively avoiding just happened to be in the same place you spent hours of your youth together. 

“Obi-Wan, please. No need for formalities, darling.” The old nickname slipped out, and he was about to apologize when he noticed the light blush that spread across your face. Perhaps not everything about you has changed. 

“Right...Obi-Wan. Well, I’ll be on my way then,” You rushed, trying to pass by him but he stopped you once again by the call of your name. 

“Y/n/n’s wait. Whatever game you’re playing, frankly I am not a fan of it.” Obi-Wan crossed his arms and furrowed his eyebrows. 

“What are you talking about?” You turned around and looked at him confused. 

“You were the one who summoned me here,” he stretched his arms out, “here I am and now you’re trying to run away again. I hardly think that’s fair.” He was beginning to get frustrated. He came in with his heart on his sleeve, ready to finally talk to you after so long and find out why you’ve been keeping your distance. Now, all he felt was betrayal and irritation at the ongoing dance you insist on doing around each other. 

He preferred to dance like you did in your youth, but alas this was nothing but another sign he needs to get mind out of the past.  

You scoffed lightly. “Again? What is that supposed to mean exactly?” You knew exactly what he meant, but you didn’t want to admit it. You’ve been denying it for ten years and Force be damned if you’d admit it now. 

“You’ve been avoiding me since your return--” You open your mouth to protest but he ignores you and continues “--and then you send the youngling to bring me here, only to try to flee upon my arrival,” He frowns, lifting his elbow and resting it on his remaining crossed arm. “I know our history can make things...difficult in the present time,” He glanced around cautiously as he spoke,”but I would appreciate it if we make an agreement simply to not speak from now on. No more games.” 

You blinked, head tilting slightly as you waited for him to finish. “Obi-Wan, I didn’t ask for you to come here. Nor would I ever involve younglings in personal matters.” He should know that, you thought. But should he really? 

His face fell from annoyance to embarrassment, his arms falling to his sides. “Oh.” He wasn’t sure what to do now. It was his own fault for getting his hopes up. I should have known better. 

You purse your lips and nodded slowly. “Well, I’m glad we at least came to an agreement. Goodbye, General Kenobi.” You took your leave, forcing yourself not to look back as you felt his eyes watching your figure. 

Obi-Wan let out a frustrated sigh, knowing he just ruined any and all changes of reconnecting with you. In his defense, however, you were the one avoiding his attempts at friendly conversation and refusing to meet and make up for lost time.  

Still, something didn’t feel right about this. 

“What the kriff was that?” 

Ah, there’s that something. “Anakin, please tell me this was not your doing.” 

Anakin smiled guilty, Ahsoka coming out from behind the bookshelf to stand next to her Master. 

“It was Snips' idea.” Anakin shrugged, flinching when he felt her punch his arm. “Ow!”

“You were the one who came up with the plan, and now look! Master Y/l/n and Master Kenobi will never get together--” Ahoska stops herself, realizing she said too much. “Oh no.” 

“I beg your pardon?” Obi-Wan looks at them both incredulously. “First of all, Master Y/l/n and I are simply…” he wanted to say friends, but even that was a reach at this point, “acquaintances. We knew each other in the past, and in the past our friendship shall stay. As for ‘getting together’, you both know very well any implication of that goes directly against the Jedi Code.” He crossed his arms tightly as he scolded. 

“I can tell you harbour feelings for them, Obi-Wan. You don’t need to lie to us.” 

“Whatever feelings I may or may not have for Y/n are unrelated. You must understand your responsibilities as a Jedi. No matter what emotional sacrifice we must make.” He made a point to look at Anakin at the end, knowing he won’t follow the implication but at least hoping he’ll get the message.     

“We’re sorry, Master.” Ahsoka looked down in shame not at what they had tried to achieve, but at the cost and clear damage they caused. 

Obi-Wan sighed, running a hand over his beard before resting it on her shoulder. “It’s alright young one. You meant no harm. Perhaps some things are better left forgotten.” 

Oh, if only it were that simple. 

A Padawan approached the three of them quickly. “Excuse me, Master Yoda sent me to tell you he and Master Y/l/n are waiting for you all in the council room.” 

Of course, these things never are. 

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heres a box to put your heart pieces in  -> []  :) 

Taglist: @queenariesofnarnia @dwarfplanet69 @katsukink @blondekel77 @generousrunawaydonut @fandomtrashwhore @fortheloveofaqueenfan @mrskenobi19 @mellowstatesmanhandsempath @hotleaf-juice @emiijemii @neji85 @doctor-warthrop @ayamenimthiriel @lizzy-95 @lovelylostminds 

[betelgeuse-1988]

pale blue eyes: obi-wan/reader

hey so i fell in love with ewan mcgregor recently and proceeded to watch all of the prequels and started the clone wars. how dangerous! probably more obi-wan content in the near future. sorry if this isn't canon compliant...i don't know enough about star wars and i'm so sorry!! give me tips if you have any

obi-wan is also probably totally ooc and i’ve definitely disregarded the jedi code (bc screw the code!) but...i don’t care...obi-wan is too beautiful for that lmao. if anyone can handle a little temptation from the darkside and still be a good jedi, it’s obi

tags: smut, fluff, light angst, hurt/comfort, grief/mourning (mention of death), master/padawan dynamic (sorta), possessive sex/behavior, rough sex, marking (hickies), smoking, implied age difference, porn with feelings (and maybe plot), dirty talk

There was something oh so terrifying about being a Padawan. Of course, it was all you had ever known, but realizing that there would be a day when no one would be there to hold your hand as you traversed the daily experiences of being a Jedi was overwhelmingly terrifying. But, what was even more terrifying was the thought alone of losing your Master.

Actually losing her before you’d finished your training could only be described as unquantifiable.

Obi-Wan broke the news to you soon after reporting to the council after the mission on some outer-rim planet went wrong and led to several Jedi being killed. He spared you the details as you broke down in front of him, apologizing immediately for letting your emotions get the best of you. You tried your best to keep everything in, especially in front of one of the best Jedi Masters. Obi-Wan looked down the hallway before slowly walking you back into your quarters. He sat you down on your small bed, taking a seat next to you.

“I know how you feel right now, as I too lost my Master. But, you must remember your Master has returned to the Force. She has become something better and will always be with you. It will be difficult, but as time passes the intensity of your emotions will fade.”

You looked up into his blue eyes, the truth behind them reinforcing what you sensed in the Force. His statements were genuine, facts that had been seen in countless other Jedi who had experienced what you did; but, his eyes (and the Force) held a sadness that seemed as if it was too big and too fragile to even consider touching. Having heard some pieces of what had happened to Master Kenobi and his Padawan, it seemed as if he never had enough time to grieve. He never had time to consider what loss meant and how to deal with it. The words he spoke seemed to be monotonous, as if they were a mantra he thought to himself often. An attempt to rid himself of emotions that council members told him that he would be drawn to the darkside because of them.

“And yet,” you said, pausing to control your breathing, a few tears escaping your eyes now and then. “Those emotions will never go away, huh?”

Obi-Wan broke your gaze, sighing and rubbing a hand over his face. “I’m...I’m sorry, I’m not helping, am I?” He let out a sad chuckle before looking back at you. “It’s just...I know too well how you feel. And yet, I cannot bring myself to tell you that you must rid yourself of these emotions because they will lead you astray. I so wish that one person would have allowed me to feel, just for one moment.”

You take his hand into yours, unable to bring yourself to look him in the eyes. “You’ve helped me more than you know, Master Kenobi. And I only hope that you are able to take your own advice, too.”

“I will try, young one.”

After this moment, you found yourself drawn to Obi-Wan in the late hours of the night. Master Windu took over the last few weeks of your training before your trials. When you were not training or sleeping and Obi-Wan was not training his Padawan, you were together. This often caused you both to spend late nights in one of your quarters (most often his, as they were bigger). At first there was nothing sexual or even romantic about these meetings. They allowed you both to explore your grief and help each other control emotions most Jedi would consider distracting or unwanted. It was nice to feel safe in your emotions.

At least, until your emotions became romantic feelings for Obi-Wan.

This realization hit you like a podracer a few weeks after you became a Jedi. You had been given a mission to protect a queen from an outer-rim planet visiting Naboo for a week. The distance alone is not what caused you to realize these feelings. Obi-Wan and his Padawan had been sent on small missions in the past few weeks, causing you to go days without seeing him. Sure, you missed him, but training for your trials could fill the void he left. But, now, being away and nearly bored out of your mind in your down time was horrible. You felt a constant sense of longing and desire that you could only trace back to Master Kenobi. Your thoughts would drift back to late nights you spent with the sweet man who could comfort you with only a smile. Thoughts of running your hands through his auburn hair as you begged him to keep growing it out, especially with the beard. Watching his eyes flutter closed as you gave him a massage through his undershirt. He lets out little groans and moans, telling you to push harder in certain spots. Holding his large, calloused hand in yours as you cuddle close together on his bed. It wasn’t until the final day of your assignment that these thoughts turned sexual.

You laid in bed, too excited over going back to Coruscant and having a few days off. A half-dreaming vision formed in your mind of Obi-Wan laying in his bed. The image became clearer and you realized that his sleeping pants were pushed down slightly, his hand grasping his cock tightly. A moan slipped past his lips, the words he choked out indecipherable as he thrusted harshly into his fist. You attempt to will away this vision but it’s stuck--almost engraved--in your mind, drifting in and out like a boat rocking back and forth on waves. His thrusts seemed desperate, as if he had been attempting to reach his climax long before you created this vision. He moans again, this time it is clearer and louder than before: your name. It slips past his lips smoothly as he finally tenses slightly, forcing his hips upwards. Cum shot out of his cock as his thrusts stuttered to a stop and his hand took over. Some particularly thick shots hit his lower stomach, covering the hair above his cock. The rest flooded slowly over the tip and down onto his hand. He groaned all through his climax, panting once he had finished completely. Your mind often drifted back to these images as you fell in and out of sleep throughout the night.

Getting back to Coruscant was a welcome return home. After your report to the council, you saw Obi-Wan and Anakin waiting for you outside of the chambers. You found it difficult, at first, to hold Obi-Wan’s gaze as he greeted you.

“Hello, Master Kenobi. What are you doing here?”

“I heard you got back. If you’d like, Anakin and I would like to take you to Dex’s,” he says simply, a wide smile on his face. Anakin gave you a toothy grin, excited to gorge himself on greasy diner food.”How was your mission, young one?”

You smiled widely, slightly forgetting about the waking-dream that had been plaguing your mind. “Sounds like a great idea. I can tell you all about my mission over dinner, then, I suppose?” Obi-Wan nodded in response, a smile (albeit smaller) on his face mirroring yours and Anakin’s.

After dinner at Dex’s, Obi-Wan dismissed Anakin to his chambers (though, Obi would confide in you that he knew for a fact his was talking to his fellow Padawans late into the night, to which you would chastise him for doing the same thing with you) and invited you to his own to meditate. The walk there was quiet, yet comfortable. But, as you reached his quarters, you saw the bed that was ingrained into your visions from the night before. The panic and embarrassment ran through you, piling heavy in your stomach and causing you to stop in your tracks at his doorway. Obi-Wan took off his boots quickly and made his way to the large window at the opposite side of the room.

“You can come all the way in, y’know?” Obi-Wan said once he realized you had not followed, his tone light and playful. He was teasing you, like he always did, always a flirt. And yet, tonight, it made you nervous. You took slow steps towards him after taking your boots off by the door, meeting him at the window he liked to meditate at. “Are you okay? No witty comeback for your favorite Jedi?” He moved to cup your face but you turned away, noticing it was the hand he had so elegantly wrapped around his cock in your vision.

You looked back at him and shook your head, your eyes becoming watery out of embarrassment and fear. You knew you needed to talk to him before this got any worse. “C-can I talk to you about something?” He nodded, his face becoming serious, and sat down on the plush cushions he used to begin meditating. He patted on one next to him and you sat after taking off your cloak. You two sat almost too close, knees touching. You could almost smell him and could almost feel the calming warmth radiating off of him. “I...During my missions I was plagued by visions, Master Kenobi.”

He frowned slightly at what you said, worried about the potential dangers of visions Jedi see. “You do not need to use my title in my quarters, young one,” he said, calmly, so as not to scare you or make you feel he was reprimanding you. “But you can tell me anything. What were in these visions, young one?”

You sighed, attempting to muster the strength in admitting what you saw. Obi-Wan could sense your struggle and reached out to touch your knee gently. You placed your hand over his and squeezed gently, closing your eyes to center yourself. The minute you opened your mouth, the word-vomit flowed fast. “They were of you. They began as nice and comforting. Domestic moments. Like holding your hand or cuddling. I could see myself doing that with any friend. But...last night, it was sexual. I, uhm, watched you...pleasure yourself. Y-you moaned my name. Maker, I feel like I’ve used you, I am so sorry, Master Kenobi.”

“This happened last night?” he asked, blushing slightly under your curious gaze. You nodded slowly, unsure of where he was going with this. “Then I don’t think you were making these visions up, darling.”

Your jaw dropped, with Obi-Wan only smirking back at you. “W-what do you mean?”

“I think you saw me, somehow. I saw some of those visions you described earlier in the week, too. Perhaps we are connected, young one.” He looked at you processing what he just said and smiled. “I like you, a lot. I admire your work as a Jedi and I am so proud to see how much you have grown since I first talked to you that night your master died.” He moved the hand that was resting in his lap to cup your cheek. “I believe I have fallen for you. I am sorry that you had to see me in such an inappropriate state, however. I would understand if you didn’t want to be with me.”

“No! I mean, I do. I want to be with you. I never imagined that you would ever want to be with someone like me.” You smiled brightly, giddy about this change in your relationship with Obi-Wan. “And, if I may say, you looked quite beautiful last night. I am honored that you thought of me just as I have thought of you. Although, you have a much different imagination than I do.” The man in front of you blushed and chuckled brightly, almost proud of what he had done.

The hand on your knee tentatively moved further up your thigh. “Perhaps I can spark your imagination?”

You shifted to be on your knees, placing your hands on his thighs. You leaned close to him, almost brushing your lips against his. You were able to feel the tickle of his beard on your face as you whispered out, “Perhaps I can fulfill yours?” You pressed your lips against his as he shoves his hands through your hair, tugging on it slightly. Even as he moaned, you tasted the strawberry milkshake you shared with him at Dex’s. But, as you kissed him deeper, tongues exploring each other’s mouths, you tasted tabac, causing your mind to wander. You never thought of Obi-Wan indulging in the toxic substance, but you can’t bring yourself to be surprised. Images of Obi-Wan shirtless, just-fucked and sweaty, his hair a mess, flooded your mind. A cigarra hung from his mouth, barely hanging on to it as he took puffs from it.

A nasty habit Obi’s voice rings through your mind, almost embarrassed, I can’t seem to kick it, young one. I hope you aren’t angry.

You pulled away and cupped his face. Not wanting to ruin the tender moment of vulnerability, you kissed him lightly and projected your thoughts to him, I could not be mad at you. I find it shamefully attractive, but if you are ready to quit, I know you can.

He smiled into the kiss as you pulled away to begin stripping. “Allow me to help you,” he said, moving to push your robes off your shoulders as you took off the belt around your waist. You shrugged the robes off of you completely and threw them to the side, followed by your undershirt. Obi-Wan moved to help you take your pants off, but you stopped him.

“Allow me to help you, Master Kenobi?” he blushed and leaned back, copying your actions by starting with his belt. You help to shrug off his outer robes followed by his undershirt. You admire his chest, speckled with freckles. You pushed him down lightly, his back hitting his carpeted floor lightly. “You are truly beautiful, Master.” You kissed his chest lightly, kneeling at his side and helping him to shove his pants and undergarments off. Even though you had seen his member the night before, it was different in person and being able to see it uncovered by his hand. Semi-hard, all you could think was that it would look even more beautiful in the moonlight and neon lights streaming from the window. You flicked your hand, flipping the light switch by the door.

“I was going to ask if you liked what you saw, young one, but it seems I was wrong,” Obi-Wan hummed.

You smirked, taking his cock in your hands. “Oh, I do, but I am one for aesthetics and I would prefer to be fucked under the moonlight.” You jerk him off slightly, getting him hard. As your movements become a tad more difficult, you hold your hand up to the man’s mouth. “Spit, please.” He looked at you with a raised brow but spits. You rubbed it up and down his cock, making your movements much smoother. You squeezed lightly around his cock and he began to thrust lightly under your touch. You moved to lean down and use your mouth on his cock, but Obi-Wan stopped you.

“Let me get you ready so I can fuck you under the moonlight, just like you want, my young one.”

He moved you down to lay on the floor, pushing one of his cushions underneath your head. After helping you out of your remaining clothes, he shoved the other pillow under your hips, angling them upwards. He then kissed down your chest, as if attempting to kiss away the moonlight with how fervently he pressed his lips to your skin. Yet, as you pushed his hair back to get a clear view of his serene face, you thought he may be trying to pin down the moonlight to your skin. The way his gaze locked with yours showed how intensely he cared about this moment. His kisses acted as an attempt to encapsulate you in the light, an attempt to preserve this moment forever. You were not just another nightly escapade (not that either of you had many of those, both unknowingly too caught up in being smitten by the other). Rather, in this moment, Obi-Wan was declaring he was going to make love to you with each and every kiss pressed to your skin. The final kiss he pressed to your skin was your clit. Once this was finished, he began fingering you, stretching you with two fingers immediately and suckling on your clit. You gasped and moaned under his touch, fingers diving into his hair.

I want to make you mine, young one. After we began talking I wished I had fought with the council more to train you instead for the remainder of your time as a Padawan. Perhaps we could have been here sooner.

“Master Kenobi,” you moaned aloud. Not being able to form words verbally, you responded with the Force. How I began to wish the same. I suppose, then, I was always yours?

He pulled off of you, but added a third finger to his thrusts, smiling up at you brightly. “Yes. And I suppose I was always yours, then, too?”

“Yes,” you moaned out, high pitched, almost squeaking. You hummed and tried again, regardless of if Obi heard you the first time, “Yes, Master, you’re mine.” Obi-Wan’s smile somehow grew, but he quickly went back to working on you with his mouth. However, this time, he leaned more on his arm that he’s using to finger you. That way, his other hand was free to jerk himself off. You only noticed when he moaned against your clit lightly. “Master Kenobi, are you--”

Yes, he sent you, almost strained as if he was speaking, I think I could cum just by eating you out, I wouldn’t even need to touch myself.

“I wouldn’t want that,” you said, pushing his head lightly, “so why don’t you fuck me instead?”

He pulled his head up and smiled, “Anything for you, my darling.” He stood up, pulling you to join him, and guided you toward the bed, stopping by his drawers to grab a condom. Laying down on the bed, you watched him roll the condom over his cock and climb onto the bed with you. He kneeled between your legs, pulling up your leg to rest it on his hip. He used his other hand to grip your hip and pulled you towards him. You gasped, both at the sudden movement and his member pushing into your pussy slowly. “Such a good girl, taking me so perfectly. You can take me all, right, my young one?” You nodded your head fiercely, unable to form a coherent thought as he continued to thrust in and out of you, each thrust going deeper than the last.

Once he settled into you completely, your hands fisted his bedsheets roughly. “So full, you fill me up so nice, Master Kenobi.” You shifted your hips against him, attempting to get him to thrust into you. His grip on your hip dissipated as he moved to push down on them. You moved your hand over his, pushing down on it lightly while also gripping his hand.

“Is there something you need from your Master, young Jedi?” Your grip on his hand tightened as you nodded. “What do you need? You can use your words.” You blushed as you attempted to quantify what you wanted him to do. You attempted to shift your hips as the position became uncomfortable from being held for so long without moving. “Please, princess. I want to give you what you want, but I will not move until you tell me.”

“I want you...I…” you trailed off, becoming embarrassed for what you were trying to ask. You threw your head to the side and thought to him, I want you to mark me. I don’t care if it hurts. I want to know, as long as the bruises last, that I am yours. I want to hold on to this moment.

“Is that all, young one?” You nodded in response, trying not to embarrass yourself more than you felt you had. “There is nothing to be embarrassed over, sweet girl. I want to please you, and the only way I can do that is if I know what you want. Never be embarrassed when asking for what you want.”

You smiled as his hand moved back to your hip, his grip stronger than before. Timidly, you add on, “Can you also move, Obi-Wan? I...I need it.” He silently responded by squeezing your hip and thrusting into you. He quickly picked up speed, however, thrusting into you desperately. Obi-Wan shifts, dropping the leg he held at his hip to be able to lean over you. Moaning at the new angle, you wrapped your arms around his neck, keeping him close. Your fingers delved into his hair, tugging at it as he thrust into you just right. Obi-Wan moaned at that, flicking his hips faster in response.

“Where do you want me to mark you, hm? Maybe a place above your robes so all the other Jedi Masters will see and know you’re mine?” You tensed slightly under him, even as your pussy clenched. “No, darling? I didn’t mean to worry you. I will make sure no one can see.” Obi-Was pressed light kisses to your collarbone, as he had before, but quickly began to suck on your collarbone and lined it with love bites.

Too overwhelmed with the pleasure, you think to Obi-Wan, Perhaps another time, you can make them more visible. Let everyone know I am yours and yours alone.

He only hummed in response as he busied himself with bruising your skin. You shoved a hand between the two of you, rubbing your clit in small circles.

Am I not good enough for you, young one?

You stopped your movements and began to stammer out an excuse.

I am only teasing, darling. I want you to cum on my cock. And, you’re making it much easier for me to achieve that goal.

You both continued like this, attempting to reach your climaxes by pulling on Obi’s hair, him suckling on your skin to leave marks, and you circling your clit. Eventually, your legs tensed and you lifted your hips up towards him. You gasped, the inner walls of your pussy fluttering around his cock. “Obi-Wan, I’m cumming,” you exclaimed, moaning even more as you flung your head back against the pillows.

“Let go, love. Cum for me, show me you’re mine.”

Your hips stuttered against his, legs tensing and shaking on either side of the Jedi Master. He pulled up and off of you, shifting back onto his knees. He thrust through your orgasm, attempting to reach his own. He moved his hands again to grip your hips tightly, bringing you against him roughly. Obi-Wan moaned as he thrust into you as fast as he could, wanting to cum so badly. “Cum for me, Master. I can sense how desperate you are, n’ I wanna know I made you cum. You came inside your young Jedi’s cunt, all for her. Only for her.” His hips began to stutter irregularly against you as he came, moaning your name just as he did the night before. Obi-Wan eventually stalled against you, collapsing slightly. “After that show, you can put your full weight on me. You deserve it, and I don’t want you to pull out just yet,” You said, rubbing his head gently..

“I always had a feeling you’d be insatiable,” Obi-Wan chuckled. He leaned his full weight on top of you. It was surprisingly comforting, especially after his rough grip and bruising kisses. He snuggled into your neck, pressing sloppy kisses against it, as your hands settled at his waist. “I can only hope to completely satiate you, one day, I suppose.”

“You did perfectly fine, Obi-Wan. For now.” He finally pulled off of you, forcing you to come to his refresher with him to clean up. When you finally laid back down in his bed, both of you naked and comfortable in each other’s arms, you were too tired to do anything more than hum in content. Just as you were trailing off to sleep, a warm thought entered your brain.

I love you, young one. Never forget that.

You responded quickly, though you assumed the sleepiness that would have been present in your voice was also present in your thoughts.

I love you, too, Obi.

[darthkruge]

Could you do an imagine where Anakin comforts an insecure reader

Anakin Skywalker x Reader ~ Insecurities 

Summary: Anakin comes home to find the reader drowning in their own insecurities and does everything he can to make it better.

Words: 2.2k

Warnings: Heavy talk of insecurities, including the reader feeling insecure about their body, personality, relationship, basically themself in general. A little bit of blood and some injuries but nothing major. Angst to fluff, I’d say?

A/N: Hi anon! First off, I hope you’re okay. Secondly, thank you for requesting! And ofc I’ll write this, comfort fics are my shit! I tried to get this request out as quick as I could and it did take a tiny bit longer than I wanted, but I wanted to do it justice. Also, y’all are beautiful and perfect and I love each and every single person reading this. If anyone ever needs anything, I’m here always. If you wanna talk or vent or just share some of your thoughts, I got you. 

(not my gif)

It was just one of those days. You weren’t a stranger to them but, nonetheless, you always felt unprepared when they hit. The feeling where you wanted to crawl out of your own skin, your own mind. Where regardless of what clothes you wore, you hated how you looked. The thoughts were the worst part, telling you lies that felt terrifyingly like truths. 

You’re worthless. You’re unlovable. You’re ugly. Everyone else can see it. They all know. No one really wants to spend time with you. You’re annoying. You’re stupid. You’re a bad person. 

The thoughts spiraled and spiraled and spiraled until you were lost in your own head. When it came to this, you frequently fell. It was too painful to hold onto your consciousness and fight it, so you let go. The thoughts continued as you curled back up in your bed, in the apartment in Coruscant that you shared with him, the one that normally brought you such comfort, and stared blankly at the wall. Tears streamed down your face and you didn’t even have the energy to wipe them away. 

Truly, the worst part was feeling so defeated. You were a strong Jedi and you took your training seriously. You’d fought in countless battles, you should be able to handle one in your mind. You wished you were strong enough to fight against these thoughts. The shame you felt around your insecurities only made you feel more alone. Instead of reaching out on days like this, you just forced yourself into silence. 

You were especially afraid to tell Anakin. Your beautiful, perfect, kind, loving boyfriend. He didn’t deserve to deal with you. He had enough on his plate, it wasn’t his job to comfort you because you weren’t strong enough to deal with your own shit. You were scared that once he saw how you viewed yourself, he would come clean and admit to seeing you the same way. I mean, you were so obviously hideous, how could he not see it, too?

Meanwhile, Anakin was finishing up a training session in the Jedi Temple. Normally he’d train with Obi-Wan, but today he wanted to focus on himself. Honestly, he was a bit distracted. Since he had a busy day today and you had the day off, he had to leave before you woke up, which he absolutely hated. He loved being there when you woke up and cooking breakfast for the two of you. You’d been dating for a few months and he was truly shocked that you’d kept him around for this long. You were everything he’d ever wanted. 

He realized he was smiling as he thought of you and decided to reach out with the Force to be reminded of your presence. He knew it wasn’t what the Force was supposed to be used for but he honestly couldn’t help it, he missed you. You were a comfort to him and he liked to check and make sure you were alright. 

Anakin’s brow furrowed as he searched for you. Normally, you were meditating at this time and he could feel a sense of serenity and contentment around you. Today, however, he was met with pain. Pain, and fear, and hatred, and sadness, and anguish, and loneliness. Anakin braced himself against the wall, stumbling back at the severity of your emotions. Right after, he composed himself and took off in a run, trying to get to you as quickly as possible. 

“Y/N? Y/N?!” Anakin yelled, bursting through the door. He was immediately taken aback when he noticed that all the lights were off. Walking quietly, he heard your sobs coming from the bedroom. He went in and felt his heart shatter. There you were, his angel, curled under the blankets, sobbing. He looked around and noticed the mirror in your room smashed. He walked over and gently placed a hand on your back, trying not to startle or upset you more. 

You looked up at him and started crying even harder. He pulled you into his arms and noticed how you fell limply into his chest. The fight seemed to have extinguished from your eyes, causing him to hold you even closer. Your arms weakly surrounded his middle as his hands stroked your back and gently combed through your hair. 

You felt lost and trapped, the world around you fuzzy and distorted from the tears. Even so, you felt him. You breathed him in, inhaling his comforting scent and feeling his warmth. He helped you ground yourself, the broken wails eventually quieting into soft cries. Anakin didn’t try to shush you, he just whispered reassurances into your hair, let you get it out, and held you. “I’ve got you, love. It’s alright, get it out. I’m here, I’m here. I’m not going anywhere. I’ve got you.”

You listened to those affirmations as you sagged into him, taking a few more minutes to just lay there. Softly, Anakin pulled you away from him so he could study you. You saw his face contorted with worry and immediately felt guilty. Great, Y/N, now you’ve made him upset. Fuck, he doesn’t deserve this. Why did I have to be so fucking needy?!

Your thoughts were interrupted by him. “What happened, angel?”

“I-” You trailed off, not sure what to say. “I just had a shit day”

You could tell he knew it was more and, feeling vulnerable under his intensely caring gaze, brought your hand to move the hair out of your face.

Quickly, you heard Anakin take a sharp inhale of breath before grabbing your hand. Ouch. You looked down and noticed the cut on the back of your hand. It had mostly dried by now, thankfully, but the pain from punching that mirror earlier was definitely still registering. 

He wordlessly went to the bathroom and brought out some gauze and anti-bacterial medicine. When he returned, his eyes drifted to the mirror and you saw him putting the pieces together. He spent a few moments in silence, his expression downcast. He worked quickly, bandaging you up and collecting his thoughts. “Why?” He asked, softly.

“I don’t know. I couldn’t stand to look at myself anymore” You whispered, wiping away some residual tears from your eyes. 

“Y/N, you’re gorgeous, love. Please, angel, please look at me.” He cupped your face and moved you so you were in his lap, making sure you heard every word. “You are truly the most breathtaking person I’ve ever met. You’re ethereal.”

Anakin’s voice was quiet as he told you these things. Quiet, yet powerful. Almost as if it was the gentle caress of his innermost thoughts. Completely honest and raw, yet too intimate for anyone to hear except you.

“I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry your brain is lying to you. That must be so hard, fighting against your own mind. Baby, you’re brave. You’re so, so brave.”

You were shaking your head, “Ani, no, no I’m not. I’m not brave, I didn’t fight. I let them consume me. I was drowning and I couldn’t breathe until you came in. I couldn’t anchor myself at all, I was so weak” You said, disgusted with yourself. 

“Shh, shh, Y/N, listen. You are strong because even though you felt the weight of everything on your shoulders, you didn’t drown. I know you felt like you would, but look! You’re here. You didn’t drown.” He took a second to pause, kissing your forehead lovingly. “Do you want to talk about what brought this on?”

“If I tell you, promise you won’t think differently of me?”

“I promise. Nothing could change how I feel about you.”

You inhaled deeply, hands shaking slightly. Ani took them in his own, steadying them while looking at you deeply. “I’ve been dealing with some shit for a while and I think it all kind of caught up to me today? I hate how I look, Ani. I look in the mirror and I can’t handle it. That’s why I broke it, I just, I couldn’t. And then I was just thinking of how you don’t deserve to deal with someone like me. You shouldn’t have to come home after a day of training and deal with my breakdowns. I know I should have told you I’ve been feeling like this. I just was terrified. I was terrified you’d agree with me. I’m terrified you’ll leave me. I’m terrified you’ll wake up and see how you deserve so much more than the shitty fucking messed up person I am.” You trail off and meet his eyes, tears glistening in both of yours, “Ani, I’m so terrified” You finish, voice wavering. 

Anakin rests his forehead against yours, pressing kisses to your hands. He lets his eyes close and tears fall down his cheeks. He couldn’t believe you were in this much pain and he never noticed. You were the love of his life and he felt like he’d failed you if you feel like this. 

“Y/N, I’m not gonna leave you. I’m not going anywhere. You are the best person for me, hell, you’re the best person in the entire fucking galaxy. Everyday I wake up and think about how lucky I am to call you mine. You’re smart, you’re kind, you’re compassionate. You’re stubborn as hell and I love that about you. You challenge me and you’re a damn good Jedi. You’re strong, stronger than anyone should ever have to be. Your heart inspires me everyday. Simply, you’re good. And I know I said it a bit earlier, but I’m gonna say it again. You are stunning, love. Truly.” Anakin said, pulling away so he could really see you. 

“Look at your legs! They’re so pretty, baby. Especially when you jump up and wrap them around me after I get home from a mission? That’s the best feeling in the freaking world! And your stomach! You always let me rest my head on it when I’m tired and I know you think it’s weird but it’s such a good angle because I can lay there and play with your hands. And, baby, your arms!! You give such good hugs and you when wrap them around me?? It makes me feel safe in a world full of chaos. And at night when you use them to curl into me, or when we’re dancing together? Fuck, I just love them.”

Anakin trailed off for a second. He held your face in his palms and you leaned into their warmth. “And you’re face, Y/N. It’s just so perfectly you. When I look into your eyes, I know I’m home. I guess that’s what I’m trying to say. I don’t understand how you can hate your body when it's the body that makes me feel like I’m going to be okay. You make me feel like I’m going to be okay. I’ve always felt so out of control, so lost. But you ground me. Please, come to me if you ever feel like this again? You are not a burden or a messed up person. You’re everything. I’m here for you. I know my words won’t fix anything overnight. Even so, I promise you, I will repeat them everyday until you believe them and, after that, I will continue to remind you until my last breath.”

You hugged him and nuzzled into his chest, overcome with emotion. “I’m trying Ani, I’m really trying. It’s not easy for me to come to people when I feel like that but I promise I’ll try.”

His arms tightened around you and he placed a kiss on the top of your head. “That’s all I could ever ask of you, love. Thank you for being willing to try”

“Thank you, too, for talking me down today. It doesn’t normally get that bad. Some days are worse than others, you know? But you really helped me. I love you more than anything. I love you for loving me when I feel unlovable” 

“I will always be here to remind you how deserving you are of love, happiness, and every other positive thing in the universe. I love you, too. I’ve loved you for years, I love you now, and I’ll love you forever”

Anakin hadn’t really let you go since he returned to the apartment. He was naturally a protective person and hated to see you hurting. He was so soft, so comforting. Although vulnerability is always hard, he made it so much easier. You knew he would always validate you, comfort you, and be there without judgement. He was everything you could possibly need and more.

Eventually, your breathing evened out as he rocked you in his arms. Anakin layed you back under the covers and went to pull away to sweep up the broken mirror’s glass. As he attempted to release himself from your arms, you whined and only tightened your grip on him. Anakin smiled and chuckled quietly, laying down and pulling you on top of his chest. You hummed contently and he placed a few more soft kisses onto your hair, your forehead, your shoulders, everywhere. You were his top priority always and he wanted to keep you safe physically, mentally, and emotionally. He could never deny you comfort, especially not in this state. After waiting a few more moments to ensure you were truly at rest, Ani closed his eyes. The glass could always wait until tomorrow...

[avarkriss]

paradise; (with a nasty bite)

✭・.・✫ 

Obi-Wan Kenobi x Female Reader

Rated: E for Explicit, 18+ Only 

Word Count: 3.589k

Summary: Master Obi-Wan Kenobi, Commander Cody, and one very ticked off Jedi Reader get pollened on what should be a very quick and simple mission 

Song/Title Inspo: Control by Unknown Brain ;; a huge thank you to Elisha (@beskars​) for encouraging/proofing these shenanigans

Warnings: Threesome - F/M/M; Sex Pollen and therefore automatic DubCon; Sass; Force Projection; Force Sensitivity and Mind Reading; I Know That’s Not How The Force Works Don’t At Me; Boys Kissing; Oral Sex (M/M, F/M); Masturbation and Mutual Masturbation; Kissing; Shameless Bisexuality and Smut; Vaginal Fingering; Spit as Lube; Spit Kink; Fucking on Obi’s Cloak Kink; Beach Sex; Double Penetration (Vaginal); Very Light D/S tones, Poor Ani

Image credits: unsplash  

Author’s Note: My first pollen fic!! I do apologize if I miss any grammar/spelling/formatting issues, this was primarily written on my phone in the middle of the woods lmao. I love a good threesome, I hope you to too! Plus we’re getting delivered early because I got home early :) Enjoy, share what you can, and be well ~

The heat on Borleias was oppressive.

It was sticky. 

Heavy. 

And you swore to the Force you were inhaling as much water as you were drinking. 

The worst part though? The very worst part was that the beach was so close you could kriffing smell it. 

Cool relief called to you from just a few meters away, the melodic crashing of the waves lulling you into a state of serenity you didn't think was possible in this hellscape - something else to focus on besides the salt crusting on your skin from where your sweat had evaporated.

Until you heard his blasted voice crackling in your comlink, cursing that crisp Coruscanti accent for pulling you out of the only moment of peace you've known since landing in this Force-forsaken jungle. 

The sound was slightly muffled, humidity having crept into the smallest of cracks in the watertight seals on the device. 

"I need you to stay focused," Obi-Wan reprimanded. 

“Of course,” you grumbled, tugging at the neck of your tunic while inwardly groaning at the way the coarseweave stuck to your skin. “Have you placed your beacon yet?” you grumbled, the hilt of your lightsaber slipping in your palm. 

No one saw you fumble it, certainly. No one except for apparently Cody, who you heard choke on a laugh from three meters away. If looks could kill he would have been wounded but he just couldn’t contain himself - you had to be the second clumsiest Jedi in the Order with that thing, the first of course being General Kenobi. 

You waited five more standard minutes before lifting your wrist to your mouth, hissing into your comm. “Well?” 

“You’re so testy in the heat,” Obi-Wan grunted from behind. You startled and nearly dropped your lightsaber again, glowering at him as mirth dared to dance in his eyes. 

“Great. You’re back. I’m going to the beach so I can soak the sweat off,” you snarked, making a concentrated effort to push through the foliage in front of you, desperate for the ocean to cleanse your spirits. 

“Seems that the heat is getting to her, sir,” Cody remarked, watching Obi-Wan gently shake his head before trudging after you. 

When the two men emerged from the forest they found your boots, belt, lightsaber, and pants strewn about the beach in a haphazard line straight to the water where they could see you floating on your back, dimly lit by the moon. 

“Must you leave a mess everywhere you go?" Obi-Wan shouted, bending down to gather your things in a neat pile. 

You rolled your eyes heavily, knowing he couldn't see you in the water. "I'm going to shake Anakin if I don't die here first," you grumbled to yourself, begrudging the day you were assigned to this mission because he had " urgent business on Naboo ." 

Obi-Wan thumped to the ground next to the pile, neatly folding your pants as Cody sat down next to him, removing his helmet. 

"I've read about this planet sir, there's a meteor shower every year," Cody mentioned, hugging his knees to his chest as he looked at the stars along the horizon. 

"I believe you're correct Cody," Obi-Wan mused, taking in the way Cody’s curls seemed to have tightened with the planet’s humidity, basking in his calm while he looked out across the ocean. 

"I can't believe it," Cody gasped, suddenly sitting straight before scrambling to lay on his back. Obi-Wan curiously followed his gaze, tilting his chin skyward to find the shimmering tails of a cluster of shooting stars. 

"It's nice to enjoy this," Cody mumbled, speaking to no one but himself.  

"It is," Obi-Wan agreed, smiling at Cody before calling out to you, beckoning you to the beach before pointing at the stars. 

You slowly removed yourself from the water, coming to stand next to Obi-Wan. You bit back a scoff when you saw the way he had neatly folded and arranged your belongings, crossing your arms as you looked to the sky. 

"As much as I can't stand this planet, being here for the annual meteor shower is pretty amazing," you thought aloud, sand sticking to your toes and ankles. 

Obi-Wan hummed in agreement as he moved to lay down, the top of his head brushing against Cody's. You shrugged and decided to join them, toes towards that cursed jungle as you laid down, your wet hair joining theirs. 

The three of you laid there for a while, relaxing against the warm sand while the planet slowly dropped in temperature, becoming only slightly more bearable. You had no idea how much time had passed when a breeze finally picked up, carrying glittering silver grains in its wake. 

You ran your finger up your arm, examining the sparkles when you realized it was pollen from the jungle. 

"Curious," Obi-Wan said, rubbing his thumb and forefinger together, slowly sitting up. 

"Obi-Wan," you warned, sitting up yourself as he began to walk up the beach. Cody scrambled and lightly jogged to catch up with him. 

You watched them at the forest line, Obi-Wan carefully studying a lightly colored flower - the source of the pollen, you were sure. He plucked one and returned with it and Cody, sitting down next to you.

"I've never seen such a thing before," you marveled, reaching out your hand to hold the flower. 

It was palm sized, the petals so thin that if there was just one you could have made out the shape of your finger behind it. The edges of the petals were nearly metallic in their argent color, gently rippled and curled. At the center of the flower was a milky white stamen that seemed to glow in the moonlight, studded with the last remnants of silver pollen that hadn't been taken by the wind. 

"We didn't see any of these on our way in," you mentioned, turning the flower in your hand. 

"No," Cody confirmed, extending his hand so he could study the plant. "But there are many flowers that only bloom at night." 

"I think it may be some type of aestus flower," Obi-Wan mentioned casually, rolling his lower lip between his teeth. 

"You can't be -" you started, stopping before you realized you were being ridiculous. The family of aphrodisiac flowers was so valuable they'd be well documented on this planet, known for being exceptionally poor in natural resources. 

“An aestus flower, sir?” Cody questioned, tilting his head as he lifted the flower to eye level. 

“They’re a… a flower known to produce various aphrodisiac effects,” Obi-Wan explained, quickly continuing when he caught sight of Cody’s furrowed brows. “But they’re known to work very quickly, so this may be a distant cousin of sorts.” 

“Regardless, I’m sitting over there,” you threw your thumb to the side, gesturing to a large smooth rock in the sand, “until we’re sure it’s not what you think it is. I could use a few hours of quiet.” 

Obi-Wan nodded his head as you stood, slowly moving himself closer to the tree line. “Just for precaution,” he smiled. 

Cody nodded too and moved a few meters away himself, your close circle turning into a giant awkward triangle on the beach. 

You settled on the stone, feeling the heat of the planet push against your chest once more. 

But as time started to slow and the weight increased, you began to fear that Obi-Wan was, once again, absolutely correct. 

“Just meditate through it,” you whispered to yourself, crossing your legs underneath you while you rested your wrists on your knees, palms facing the sky. "Just breathe." 

You slowly closed your eyes and took the deepest breath you could manage, reaching out to connect with your surroundings. You were searching, looking for something cool, something calming. 

You needed to ground yourself, build an unshakable foundation to ward off the storm you could feel brewing in the pit of your stomach. 

The stone beneath you was too warm and the ocean always took extra concentration, concentration you couldn't spare as you desperately tried to block out the growing heat between your thighs and the gentle groan you heard from somewhere down the beach. 

"Breathe," you spoke to yourself, reaching for the trees. You found them hot, burning from the aestus flowers and resistant to your touch. You sensed something alluring and cold nearby, creeping towards it until you realized it was Obi-Wan, pulling away before you made the mistake of making him your home. 

"Breathe," you spat from between gritted teeth, eyes scrunching with the involuntary flutter from between your legs. You reached into the sand, desperate, aching. But it fell from your grasp slowly, mocking you. Taunting. There was no stability to be found in sand.

There was another ragged moan from down the beach and you ground your teeth down, placing the tips of your fingers against the flat stone, clinging to the steady vibrations between every molecule. 

Heat grew between your thighs as something cool lapped at your back, calling to you like gentle water. 

Relax, little one. 

You couldn't help the growl growing in the back of your throat, letting it escape briefly before swallowing it back down. His voice was honey thick; sticky and warm and pulling you in. 

The groaning from down the beach intensified, joined by stumbling footsteps that climbed away from you, drawn in by Obi-Wan's cooling aura. 

Cody, you panicked, reaching out for him until you realized Obi-Wan had brought him to the safety of harbor first. 

You felt him pull away from you, keeping a connection at the small of your back. You felt like your skin was going to burn off of your bones, thighs slicking as your arousal began to pool. 

Groans turned to whimpers, threatening to break your concentration as you dove deeper and deeper, fighting the pull that threatened to drag you to the surface. 

It was when things finally turned quiet that you straightened your spine, breathing deeply until you felt a familiar flicker somewhere in the corner of your consciousness. 

The sound was different now - wet and messy and your throat felt like it was starting to close until a strangled moan erupted, pulling you out of the shelter you had forged. 

Your protective walls were down and you were exposed, every nerve ending combusting at once until the projection of pleasure slammed into your chest. 

You felt relief for the briefest of moments until it ebbed away, fleeting glimpses of bliss strangling your heart every few seconds until tears began to fall down your cheeks. It was going to make you lose your sanity, bouncing between the burning heat of desire and the sweet relief of satisfaction being sent through you. 

You pulled yourself up and started to walk towards the tree line, vision blurred and gait unsure. You were ready to scream, ripped open and raw and hurting and alone -

"I hate -" you sobbed, falling to your knees at the sight of Obi-Wan on his, Cody’s cock buried in his mouth while he choked on his own relieved cries. 

Your words died on your tongue and your mouth parted as you studied them, beautiful in the moonlight. Cody was bare and had his head thrown back, his hands tangled in Obi-Wan’s auburn hair as he thrust into his mouth. 

You reached between your thighs as you watched - Cody stuttering in his rhythm while Obi-Wan stroked himself, hand moving under his robes. 

Your fingers danced around your aching clit, craving relief that evaded you at every turn. Obi-Wan's projection was constant now, his pleasure mounting with Cody’s. When Cody came the projection pushed you onto your ass, hitting the sand with a gentle thud. You groaned and thrust your fingers into your aching pussy, watching Cody join Obi-Wan on his knees, pulling him in for a kiss. 

Their tongues danced together and your lips tingled with ache, mouth and throat dry while you panted. 

Please , you pleaded, reaching out to tangle yourself with Obi-Wan as Cody kissed him and took his cock in his hand. When Cody began to pump him up and down Obi-Wan pushed so hard against you that you fell onto your back breathless, rapidly thrusting in and out of your heat. 

You couldn't see it when he came but you heard him moan, feeling the pleasure ripple through your tummy and up your chest. You threw your head back into the sand, screaming out in frustration as hot tears simmered on your cheeks, begging for your own release. 

Someone knelt down next to you, their hand on your forehead sending a jolt down your back. You whimpered as you arched under the gentle touch, chasing the connection as the hand pulled away. 

"General," Cody murmured, slipping it under your neck to help you sit up. You pulled your fingers from within yourself and curled into Cody, crying against his shoulder. 

"I - I -," you stammered, struggling to find your words as you continued to clench around nothing, aching to be filled. 

"We know what you need darling," Obi-Wan rumbled, spreading his cloak onto the sand. "We're here now." He was attempting to send a calming rush towards you, finding you unresponsive to it as you kissed across Cody's shoulder. 

Cody’s lips fell to your neck, mouthing at your skin as you grew impossibly hotter in his arms. 

"She needs more Cody," Obi-Wan pointed out, helping to roll you onto his cloak as Cody settled between your legs. "Taste her," he suggested, shrugging off the rest of his robes. 

As soon as Cody's tongue made contact with your soaked folds you let out a wrecked moan, twisting against the cloak until Obi-Wan settled next to you, leaning down to pull your soaked tunic off of you before capturing your lips in a searing kiss. 

You succumbed to him immediately, letting his tongue push against yours as he licked into your mouth. He still tasted of Cody and you moaned below him, fisting one hand in Cody's hair as the other searched for Obi-Wan's cock, joining his own in stroking himself to relieve the fire slowly consuming you all from the inside out. 

Obi-Wan spread a hand over your breast, slowly tweaking one of your nipples while Cody lapped at your clit. He was groaning into you as his fingers searched out your entrance, index and middle slipping in with ease. 

Your hips arched off the cloak to meet his eager mouth, moans filling the air as Obi-Wan broke away from your mouth to take your nipple between his teeth, leaving a trail of stars blooming across your skin in his wake. 

Obi-Wan, please - 

Your walls were down and he was starting to crumble. 

"Cody," Obi-Wan whispered, running his hand through his hair. When he lifted his head from between your legs his eyes were shining as much as his mouth, slowing his fingers inside of you. "Sit back a moment my darling." 

Cody sat back on his knees and dragged his fingers slowly out of you. You keened at the loss until you saw Obi-Wan lean over to Cody, taking his fingers into his mouth, groaning at the way you tasted on his salty skin. 

Obi-Wan cast his eyes down to you as he palmed at your breasts, pulling off of Cody's fingers when he was sure that they were clean. He came back to your tips, tapping them open with a gentle finger before spitting into your mouth, tasting of you and Cody and something uniquely him. 

After leaving a parting bite on your lower lip he helped you roll onto your stomach, gesturing for Cody to resume his place between your legs as he stroked himself and came around to your mouth. 

Let him fuck me, please - 

Your thoughts were loud in your head as Obi-Wan moaned, giving voice to the desires you couldn't speak. 

As Cody lined himself up to your entrance Obi-Wan found your mouth, each man pushing into you, synchronous with the other. 

Your groans were muffled around Obi-Wan, eyes fluttering closed as relief settled into you, the fire shrinking with every thrust of their cocks. 

Cody had you stretched in the most delicious of ways, moaning and cursing as he thrust into you, one hand pressed against your pussy and the other resting on Obi-Wan's. 

They both started to say your name louder, your body shaking between them, threatening to break if you didn't find release soon. But as Cody timed his thrusts to oppose the press of his finger on your clit and Obi-Wan pulled your hair while hissing from the way you traced him with your tongue, your vision went white and the world finally stopped spinning. 

Your euphoria was short lived, quickly replaced by deep heat between your legs. Cody and Obi-Wan found their release shortly after, spilling inside of you as they each moaned out your name. 

They parted from you for a moment, pausing to kiss each other before coming to your sides, each man laying next to you. 

"It's not stopping soon is it," you panted, looking to Cody and then to Obi-Wan who both shook their heads. You let out a shaking exhale as the pain grew stronger. You couldn't fight it anymore, leaving yourself wide open, thoughts so obvious that even Cody could gather what was on your mind. 

Obi-Wan shared in your sensation and grabbed at your waist, urging you to straddle him. Once you were comfortably seated Obi-Wan set a punishing pace, snapping his hips up into your while he kneaded the flesh of your ass between his fingers. 

Cody watched for a few moments before taking himself in his palm, stroking in time to Obi-Wan's thrusts. His face began to contort with pain when a thought burst through your fog. 

Self-stimulation is ineffective, isn't it? 

You were interweaving yourself with Obi-Wan, clinging to the cool of his force signature as he slowed just a touch, breathing out a shudder confirmation. 

With that you turned towards Cody, gently calling his name as Obi-Wan slowly rocked into you, expression curious. 

"I'm so wet," you moaned, looking him up and down. 

"You are," he confirmed, putting his hand where your body met Obi-Wan's, the other still wrapped tightly around his cock. He teased you both for a few moments, running his fingers across both of you at once. 

"I can take you both together." 

The words rolled off your tongue before you realized you had said them, both men moaning as Cody began to work a finger and then two into your pussy without hesitation. 

"You’re sure?" he grunted, wrapping your hand around his cock as he pushed his fingers deeper, working in tandem with the subtle roll of Obi-Wan's hips. 

"Yes," you cried, voice strained as he pushed in a third. "Can't stand to see either of you in this pain." 

Cody hummed against your skin as he kissed you, helping you adjust to the stretch before pulling away, coming behind you. 

With a firm hand to your back Cody pushed you forward until your chest was nearly flush with Obi-Wan's. You heard him spit against you, rubbing at you with his thumbs before pressing his head against your entrance, easing himself inside. 

You and Obi-Wan moaned from the pressure, stilling as he worked his way in. You swallowed your cries as Obi-Wan bit into your shoulder, hands firm on your hips as he tried to hang onto the last bit of his mental wall. 

That, however, came crashing down as soon as Cody began to move, the force of his pleasure knocking the wind from your chest. When you opened your eyes you could see your tears mixed with his, leaning down to lick them away before he began to work in tandem with Cody - thrusting in as he pulled out. 

They worked against each other and you were seeing stars, becoming wetter and wetter with every orgasm that rushed through your body. At some point you realized that the wetness was their come leaking out of you, both men showing no signs of easing up anytime soon. 

You couldn't be certain how many times any of you came, riding out high after high, changing positions, coming in and on each other as you lost yourselves in the pleasure, desperate to keep the burning pain away. 

At some point though the effects of the pollen had worn off and the three of you collapsed together, sticky and sweet and warm. Time had returned though sense was still absent. 

You and Cody had each curled around Obi-Wan, legs tangled together and arms entwined. Eventually you each slipped into a heavy slumber, shared murmurs of thanks fading away as your eyelids drooped. 

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

Slowly you began to rouse, feeling the heat of the sun beginning to sear your skin, quickly coming to your senses when a high pitched shriek jolted you all awake. 

You startled to find Captain Rex doubled over in laughter as Anakin threw his cloak over the pile of limbs you were wrapped in, head turned away and paler than you could ever recall seeing him. 

"Anakin, aren't you supposed to be on Naboo?" Obi-Wan questioned, slowly sitting up. He was blinking in the sun, memories slowly returning as you and Cody unwrapped yourselves from around him.

"I was until the Council told me they never heard your team check in. They sent me here and I find this," he gestured dramatically, pinching the bridge of his nose as he turned away. 

"Like I needed another reason to hate sand." 

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

Full Masterlist // Star Wars Masterlist

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

Tags - Tumble has a tag limit and we’ve exceeded it (which is so cool I can’t believe that many of you are interesting in reading my work!) so we’ll be switching to comment tags, this should also mean that everyone’s tags will work for once!! 

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[calltomuster]

oh my gooshhhh my first ao3 friend is doing prompts and is amazing always ahhhhhhhhhhhhh

“I thought I’d never see you again,” with Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan?

I'm so honored to be your first AO3 friend! Thanks so much for the prompt and for your endless patience on this, @the-last-kenobi!

From these caretaker dialogue prompts: 10. "I thought I'd never get to see you again."

"Obi-Wan!"

Anakin's scream was strangely muffled, like Obi-Wan was hearing it from underwater. He felt numb except for the heat spreading in his chest, flooding it with warmth where the rest of his body went cold. When he looked down, he saw the red lightsaber poking through the space just next to where his heart rested.

He blinked, confused, then raised his head to see Anakin running towards him, but now his vision was shifting, lowering, twisting, and Obi-Wan realized his legs had given out from under him and he hit the ground. It did not hurt. Nothing hurt. He just felt that hazy warmth carrying him away, away...

The next moment he was aware, he was in a soft white void. Light and shadows dappled together to form some sort of depth, but beyond that he could not make out any sort of surroundings. What really struck him was the Force in this space. It was stronger here than he had ever felt before. Stronger than sharing a bond with Anakin, stronger than a group meditation with Master Yoda, stronger than being on Mortis. It was like... like it was the Force.

Then it hit him, and he felt dumb for not realizing sooner. The visage that appeared in front of him only confirmed it.

"Obi-Wan?" Qui-Gon Jinn said, sounding confused. "This isn't... You're not supposed to be here yet."

"Master," Obi-Wan smiled, a light peace settling inside him. So he was one with the Force now. That was alright, he supposed. It had to happen sooner or later, and if the Force deemed it right that now was his time, who was he to argue?

He told this to Qui-Gon, who continued to look puzzled and slightly off-put.

"No, it wasn't," Qui-Gon said.

Obi-Wan frowned. "Wasn't what?"

"Wasn't the will of the Force," Qui-Gon replied. "This wasn't the will of the Force."

Now it was Obi-Wan's turn to be confused. "Well, I'm here, aren't I?"

Qui-Gon peered at him, looking down as he always did. Even in death, the Force had not corrected their height difference. "Yes. You are."

"So it must have been the will of the Force."

It was then that Qui-Gon took on a face that was dearly familiar to Obi-Wan. It would appear that they were about to depart down the well-treaded path of arguing differing Force philosophy opinions. "Saying that everything happens because of the will of the Force implies that we have no free will."

Obi-Wan obligingly took up the opposing side of the argument. "Does it matter that the choices are preordained if we choose them freely? That is, that we ourselves still feel that we have that choice, and only the Force knows which one we will inevitably pick?"

"Yes," Qui-Gon pressed, brow furrowing together in the way it only did when he was particularly passionate about something. "Because in the end there really was no choice."

"But we believe we have that choice, and isn't that really all that matters?"

Before Qui-Gon could respond, Obi-Wan shook his head and held up his hand. "No, enough. That's not really the point."

"Of course you leave me without a space for rebuttal," Qui-Gon huffed, but smiled. "Regardless, it's good to see you, Obi-Wan."

Obi-Wan blinked away the tears that had suddenly appeared. "I thought I'd never get to see you again."

"Whyever not?"

"Because this isn't what happens when you die!" Obi-Wan exclaimed. "You become one with the Force, not, not," he gestured at Qui-Gon, "this!"

"We are one with the Force right now, are we not?"

Obi-Wan took a breath, then continued. "Yes, but we shouldn't be ourselves still. We should have returned to the endless pool of energy in the universe."

Qui-Gon shrugged. "The sum of the amount of knowledge in the entire universe of what the Force of capable of could fit inside the palm of my hand."

"So the Force allowed you to retain your consciousness?"

Qui-Gon smiled at him. "I thought you said everything that happened was the will of the Force. Why are you questioning this?"

He had to resist the urge to sputter and say because that's not how the Force works! But of course, Qui-Gon was right. They could never hope to possibly understand the Force, and in the end it was folly to try.

"Alright. So what happens now?"

Qui-Gon looked at him. "I suspect you'll wake up soon."

"...Wake up? Wake up where?"

"Back on... Where was it? Cato Neimoidia?"

Obi-Wan nodded, confused. "But I'm one with the Force."

"For the time being, yes, but as I said, this was not the will of the Force."

Obi-Wan raised an eyebrow. "I thought you said things didn't happen because of the will of the Force, Master."

"Ah, so you are deliberately misunderstanding my argument again. What I said was that not everything happens because of the will of the Force. Someday you will understand, my very young Padawan."

"Not as young as I once was," Obi-Wan smiled softly. He had truly missed this, this banter with Qui-Gon. It took a few years after Naboo for him to stop turning to his side and expecting to give or receive some witty riposte. Anakin eventually learned, and that was greatly enjoyable in its own way, but it was never quite the same as it had been with his Master.

Qui-Gon returned his soft smile. "No, not as young as you once were. You've grown into a fine man, Obi-Wan. I'm very proud of you."

Obi-Wan looked down, away, anything to hide the tears that arose upon hearing those words. Words he had dreamt of hearing, once upon a time. Words he'd hoped to hear at his Knighting ceremony. Words he woke up one day realizing he would never be able to receive. But now he had, and it was the most precious gift he could have asked for. But he knew deep down he did not deserve it.

When he had composed himself, he opened his mouth to speak again, but did not raise his head. He was too much of a coward to say this head on. "I fear I have disappointed your teachings, Master."

"Oh?"

"I have been angry, arrogant, judgmental. I have not been mindful of the Living Force as much as I should have been. I did my best in training Anakin as you asked, but sometimes I think I have only passed my flaws onto him too."

"Look at me, Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon said gently, and Obi-Wan meekly met his eyes. "You are a sentient being. Yes, you have made mistakes, as everyone has. But you have done your best. And you have done well. You are compassionate, and wise, and brave, and resilient, and you have done your best to spread these qualities to everyone around you. And I am proud of you, Padawan."

Obi-Wan huffed out a laugh, because it was the best of the options in front of him to release the emotion welling up inside. "All thanks to you, Master."

"Oh no," Qui-Gon said. "I gave you tools, but it was up to you to decide what to do with them. In the end, Padawans rise and fall on their own merits." He gave Obi-Wan a strange look at that, but it passed so quickly Obi-Wan half thought he might have imagined it. Qui-Gon finished, "And you have risen."

"Qui-Gon," Obi-Wan said, shaking his head slightly. He didn't quite know what to do with all of this, like he wasn't equipped to carry all these kind words with him.

"I just wanted to tell you that before the Force takes you back," Qui-Gon said, folding his arms in his robes. "It will not be long now."

"Will of the Force," Obi-Wan mumbled as he finished composing himself again.

Qui-Gon laughed. "We'll have another chance to argue this. Perhaps sooner than you'd think."

Obi-Wan looked up at him, alarmed. Would he truly be joining the Force again so soon?

"No, not like that," Qui-Gon said. "You'll see."

He was giving Obi-Wan a very particular smile, one that from experience Obi-Wan knew meant he wouldn't be able to pry any answers out of the man. Best to drop the matter.

All of a sudden, something occurred to him. "Will I remember this when I go back?" Would he remember what Qui-Gon had told him?

"No." Qui-Gon's smile turned sad. "It will be like waking up from a dream that grows further and further away the more you try to hold on to it."

Obi-Wan nodded melancholically. It would have been too much to hope for, perhaps. "Then remind me when we see each other again, alright?"

"Of course, Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon replied, getting fainter both in voice and appearance. Or perhaps that was Obi-Wan, and not him. "May the Force be with you."

And with you, Obi-Wan tried to say back, but then his ears were ringing with the chaos of battle and his chest was burning something fierce and his eyes were hazily focusing on Anakin's frantic face, and then he could not remember why he had even been wanting to say the words in the first place.

Thanks for reading! Requests are currently closed!

[hoodedguitarist]

Luminescence

Gif not miiinee Pairing: Qui-Gon Jinn x Jedi!Reader

Summary: You and Qui-Gon find yourselves on one of the lesser known, lesser visited planets. Having narrowly escaped a sudden attack from some raiders, you and your crew have landed on this serene and beautiful planet to make a few repairs and take a break before returning to Coruscant.

Warnings: Fluff, Mush, Kisses, Confessions, not held responsible for any cavities you may develop whilst/after reading this. :D

Notes: Apparently there’s a serious shortage of Qui-Gon x Reader fics?? This is what I heard. I’m doing my part, saving the fangirls and all. Qui-Gon is one of my absolute favorite characters but I can’t bring myself to write a smut thing for him. @chadillacboseman​ this is the best I can do. This is for you my dear <3 I hope you like it. Also, I just made this planet up on the fly. ALSO also, loosely based off of this beautiful poem. Can you tell I want to go to a bioluminescent bay? Cause I do. Ok I’ll shut up now.

--

The ship had been in a good enough condition to land properly. Luckily, none of the raiders had followed, but repairs were needed before you could continue.

“This planet is peaceful,” Qui-Gon assured you and the other two who were with you. “And I’m sure they will have the part that we need. It’s a simple enough task. Jado, Tyla?”

“We know what to look for and we know what we need,” Jado, the mechanic, answered. He gave a reassuring smile and a nod.

“Good. In that case, we will stay here with the ship,” Qui-Gon motioned to himself and you.

“Are you sure it’s safe enough to send them out on their own?” You asked gently. “Shouldn’t one of us go?”

“We can take care of it,” Tyla, the pilot, promised. “We don’t need the Jedi constantly watching over us, we’ve got our blasters and know how to use them,” she smirked.

“Clumsy and random,” you quipped back with a smile.

“Not in our hands,” Jado chuckled. He nudged Tyla. “Come on, let’s head out. We’ll try to be back before dark.”

The pilot and the mechanic made their way off the ship, and you and Qui-Gon were alone. You couldn’t help but be a little worried. You weren’t very familiar with this planet and had certainly never visited. He sensed your unease and stepped over to you, looking down into your eyes.

“It’s alright, my dear,” he assured, sliding a hand onto your shoulder. His touch comforted you and made a warmth spread through your chest. He gave you a knowing smile. “I told you, this planet is peaceful. My instincts tell me we won’t have any trouble.”

You raised a brow, amusement written on your face. “Qui, when are we not in trouble? This whole situation was caused because trouble found us. And don’t try to quell me with your sweet talk, it won’t work.”

You and Qui-Gon weren’t really together… You went on an awful lot of missions together, though, and you flirted a lot. It was mild when people were around but when you were alone, it always seemed a bit more serious. He always made your heart beat a touch faster and gave your stomach butterflies.

You were also at least half sure that his Padawan, Obi-Wan Kenobi, could sense something between the two of you, but he never said anything. Obi wasn’t there, though… And the realization that you and Qui-Gon were alone together suddenly hung heavy in the air.

“I am not trying to quell you,” he had a soft laugh in his voice. “I would never try to do such a thing to you, I only mean to reassure you.”

“Well, perhaps I would feel better if I explored a little outside. I’ve always heard this place is beautiful at night but this is my first time being here.”

“Ynirro is known for its magical oceans and white beaches. If you want to explore, I will stay with the ship.”

“What’s so magical about the oceans?” You asked, genuinely curious. 

“When night falls, I will show you,” He had that look about him, that look that clearly said he knew something that you didn’t. It was mischievous, but endearing. “For now, stay in sight of the ship. I know the beach is close by, but wait for me. I wish to see it with you.”

“That’s very romantic of you, Master Qui-Gon,” you teased softly, placing your hand over his that still lay on your shoulder. His smile faded and was replaced with a more thoughtful look. Your chest tightened in slight panic. Did you say something wrong? Was that too much?

His features soon softened, though, and a gentle smile tugged at the corner of his lips. He lifted his thumb and ran it along your fingers, even going so far as to clasp your hand in his. His blue eyes locked earnestly with yours.

“Only for you,” his sincerity startled you a bit. Your heart began to race. He took your hand and brought it to his lips, kissing the back of it. “Go on, go do your exploring. I’ll be right here.”

“Alright…” You barely managed the word. It came out as more of a soft breath than an actual word. He had enraptured you and your skin now tingled pleasantly where his lips had touched. You took a step back but squeezed his hand gently one last time. He returned it before you both reluctantly let go.

When you finally made it outside you had a chance to take a breath and calm yourself down. Of course, the first thing that popped into your mind was the Jedi Council. They hung like a little grey cloud over your head, always watching, always wary. You and Qui-Gon were not like the other Jedi. The both of you followed the will of the Force more than the code, often going against the Council’s wishes at times. If they found out about this, they would not be pleased and you ran the risk of being kicked out.

You blinked and had found that your feet had already started walking while your brain went in another direction. Your eyes took in your surroundings, noticing the lush greenery of the forest and taking in the sweet scents of tropical flowers that bloomed around you. It was a paradise, that much was certain. You made a note to come back to Ynirro when you had free time, if only for a slight vacation… And maybe you wouldn’t be alone.

“What am I thinking?” You said softly to yourself. “Kai Adi-Mundi has four wives!” You shook your head. There was no way that you were going to let the council control that part of your life. You and Qui-Gon seemed to share a bond, even from the moment you first met. The both of you always knew what the other was thinking or feeling… Dare you even think that you shared a bond within the Force? That it led you both to each other?

Your heart leapt at the idea and you glanced back in the direction of the ship. You would try not to get your hopes up, however. You didn’t want to jump the gun, or blaster as it were. You were sure he was thinking through a few things as well with the time that he had. Instead, you turned and walked into another direction, letting your fingers ghost over the soft petals of a blue flower. The sun would be gone soon but it would give you both enough time to think before nightfall.

~*~

Twilight was fading and it had grown darker as you made your way back to the ship. A few lights were on and the platform was extended still. You smiled and adjusted your robes before heading up into the ship.

“Qui-Gon?” 

“There you are,” he turned, smiling at you. “Well, do you feel better now? More at peace?”

“I do. Not just with Ynirro but with a few other things that were on my mind as well.”

“I did the same while you were gone. Night has fallen but I would like to wait for Tyla and Jado to return-” A noise cut his sentence off and the both of you looked back to see the two in question come in.

“We got the part!” Jado said excitedly. “Tyla and I will get to work on it right away.”

“Take your time, don’t rush,” you said gently. “The ship must be fixed properly and if we have to stay here overnight, so be it.”

“I agree. A rushed job is often a poor one,” Qui-Gon said wisely.

“We’ll take our time,” Tyla promised. “We’ll get it done right and be back in Coruscant before you know it.”

“Well, we’re going to observe the beach. I hear the ocean is quite a sight to behold. When you two finish, come and join us. I promise you won’t be disappointed,” Qui-Gon put a gentle hand on the small of your back and you stood up a little straighter, your smile widening.

“We will! Have fun!” Tyla chirped before she began to rummage around in a box of tools.

You and Qui-Gon both headed out and into the warm night air. You couldn’t hide the excitement now that the two of you were alone. “I can’t wait!” You walked close to him, looking up at him. “What is it? Can you give me a hint? Is it creatures of some kind that live in the ocean?”

Qui-Gon tilted his head a little and smirked. “To a degree, yes,” he gave you a sideways glance. “But that is all I will tell you. Come, take my hand,” he stopped and held his hand out. Your eyes met and you smiled, sliding your hand into his. He laced your fingers together and led you through the bushes. You noticed that there was a faint blue glow coming from up ahead. You stayed close to him, your hand tightening in his with anticipation. The glow was calm, soft, and became brighter the closer you got to it.

Suddenly, the terrain changed beneath your feet and you noticed the white sands. You were at the shore line.

“Close your eyes,” Qui-Gon’s voice was right at your ear. You could feel his breath brush down your neck and it made your lips part. A soft breath left you and you turned to look up at him. The both of you were a mere inch away from each other. He smiled at you and let his eyes run over your face for a moment before his free hand came up. He pushed a stray strand back from your face and curled it behind your ear. His fingertips ghosted down the shell of your ear and down along your neck. “Close your eyes, love,” he whispered.

You nodded, licking your lips and taking a deep breath. Your eyes fluttered shut and you tightened your grip on his hand just a little. Your other hand came up and you placed it on his arm. There was the sound of leaves being pushed apart and Qui-Gon tugged you gently in his direction. You stepped forward, being careful of the sudden thickness of the sand. You could feel that you were actually on the beach now, having cleared the tree-line. 

Qui-Gon carefully lead you further and further until he stopped and you stopped with him.

“Alright, open your eyes,” he whispered. You did as you were told and what you saw made your jaw drop and your eyes widen.

The ocean waters of Ynirro were shimmering with beautiful blue lights. It was as if the stars had fallen and landed in the waters, making the oceans their new home. As the waves rolled up onto the white sandy shores, the lights brightened when the water stirred them, and then they calmed again when they floated back into the sea.

“Qui-Gon…” Your voice was breathless with awe, your eyes transfixed on the enchanting sight before you. In all your years of being a Jedi, all the places it had taken you, you had never seen something so beautiful.

“Microscopic bioluminescent creatures. They live in the oceans and soak up the sun's rays during the day, then put the stars to shame at night,” he explained.

You were enraptured by the sight before you… 

And Qui-Gon was enraptured by you. 

The way the lights bathed you in a soft blue glow. It shined in your hair, on your face, in your eyes. He was taken with the sight of you and loved to see you in such pure wonder.

Your senses pricked at you lightly and you blinked, turning your gaze away from the sight, only to see Qui-Gon already looking at you. You felt a blush try to crawl up your neck, but you smiled and laughed softly. “Qui, this is the most… Amazing thing I’ve ever seen. It’s so beautiful.”

“It is… Beautiful…” His voice was soft and his eyes never left yours. Your hands were still clasped. You stood side by side, both bathed in the glow. He turned to face you and his hand came up again, cupping your cheek. His calloused thumb ran across your cheek bone and you gave a soft in-take of breath.

“Qui-Gon...” His name was a plea on your lips, a soft begging lilt as you leaned into his touch. You placed your hand over his and your eyes darted to his lips. That was all the indication he needed. The Jedi Master leaned down and captured your lips in a slow, loving kiss. 

Your eyes shut and you leaned into the kiss, a peace settling over you. It was as if this kiss was the last missing peace, the last thing that was needed to solidify the bond growing between you. You wrapped your hand gently around his wrist, rubbing your thumb along the back of his hand that still cupped your cheek. He let go of your hand in favor of sliding it around the curve of your waist and pulling you closer.

It felt like your heart had grown wings, like it wanted to flutter out of your chest. Your free hand slid along the back of his neck and into his long hair. There was no space left between the two of you. Qui-Gon had pulled you flush against him and he had deepened the kiss. Your lips moved slowly against each other, savoring the moment and every feeling. You were sure you’d never been kissed so passionately and so lovingly in your life.

He pulled back, only barely, and your eyes opened and met again.

“I love you,” he admitted. “I cannot hide it any longer and I don’t care what the Council thinks.”

“The Council doesn't need to know,” you answered without missing a beat. “They are already in our lives too much. They already root around in matters that should not concern them.”

Qui-Gon smiled at this and rubbed his nose against yours. “Then this will be ours. This moment, this love, this bond we share, it is ours and is of no concern to anyone else.”

“Except perhaps Obi-Wan,” you teased softly. Qui-Gon chuckled, low and warm.

“He is clever, but I trust him. If he does know or if he figures out, I know he will keep our secret safe.”

“Good…” You rested your forehead against his, running your fingers gently through the loose part of his hair. “I love you Qui-Gon…” You whispered. 

He ran his fingers through your hair and pulled you close again, kissing you deeply while you bathed in the celestial glow of the luminescent waves.

Yeah, I’m soft and cryin a little, not gonna lie. We’re all just gonna pretend Qui-Gon lives and yall live happily ever after, training Anakin and Obi-Wan and Anakin grows up with a stable father figure in his life and doesn’t turn to the dark side. Palps gets OUTED like the trash he is and Anakin and Padme have lil Luke and Leia and You and Qui-Gon become like the most awesome grandparents in the galaxy. THE END 

*takes a deep breath*

Thanks for reading everyone! I headcanon that Qui-Gon is on some serious romantic level shit. Like that man will make you feel loved, give you all the passion, and make sure you feel it deep down in your soul.

As always, if you wanna be added to the tags list just shoot me a message! Inbox/asks is always open. If I hit 200 followers I’ll do some drabble requests. Never done that before, sounds fun and chaotic. I’m here for it!

Tagslist:  @the-grey-jedi @hayley-the-comet  @pinkiemme @swordandstar​ @chadillacboseman​

[giggles-and-freckles]

Okay woohoo some fic recs incoming!!!! These will probably be all over the place, but I’ve just got to scream about them for a second!!! PS gonna try to do these more frequently because this is fun!!!

Click below the cut if you dare!

Declarations by Nny11

Summary: A series exploring Obi-Wan and Ahsoka's relationship as Grandmaster and Grandpadawan.

Okay, so this is one of the first fics I can genuinely remember reading with a heavy emphasis on the relationship between Obi-Wan and Ahsoka where I was like 'hey oh my god I love them?’ It was a monumental moment for me because now I am so obscenely ride or die for them and I truly do think back to this fic often with utter fondness. 

A moment I loved: 

“From a certain point of view,” he finally conceded, motioning her to start again. “At least I know you’ve learned something from me!”

“Well I couldn’t learn the secrets of your hair routine!”

the flood comes rushing in by @kenobilovebot

Summary: "I have done this for you. I have put you first." Or, Anakin finds out.

A little bit of sith!Obi-Wan? As a treat? Hm, well...all right!!!!! I don’t want to say too much here because I would really prefer you read it than read any more of my mindless babbling but–it’s good.

A moment I loved: 

He can hardly think around the smothering darkness that has so wholly encompassed his master, so effectively destroying the light that has always been. He’s always been able to reach for it at the worst of times. Now he can’t feel it at all.

a time to say goodbye by Sokaless

Summary: Ezra isn't the only one facing the temptation of change in the World Between Worlds. Just minutes after facing Vader, Ahsoka falls through a portal seventeen years into the past and must relive her final encounter with Anakin and Obi-Wan without drastically altering the future. But Anakin Skywalker taught her many things. How to push her luck was one of them.

This is a short and sweet time-travel fic that finds Ahsoka back in that moment in the hangar with Anakin right before they unknowingly have their last goodbye. She knows more now than she did before and struggles not to say it all. But the theme of learning from loss is really special and powerful and I feel this sad sort of closure when I finish (I say that actively because I have...read this fic several several times). Painful, poignant–all the best things.

A moment I loved:

One last thing she learned from Anakin- teaching a lesson often requires holding your student to higher standards than you hold yourself. 

With the knowledge that she’s holding him to a standard she herself might never reach, Ahsoka tells Ezra, “I’m asking you to let go.”

good morning, sun by @katierosefun​

Summary: “You look miserable.” Ahsoka dropped her hand, spun around. Obi-Wan stood behind her, one arm carrying a cloak and the other half-extended to Ahsoka. [or: After she leaves the Order, Ahsoka has one last encounter with Obi-Wan.]

Let’s see how many of Caroline’s fics I can get away with posting before someone reports me. This one-shot is full of all the good post-wrong jedi stuff. Soka and Obi have a conversation at Dex’s that hurts a lot but also feels real and I will never not respect Caroline for understanding the nuances of the disaster trios intricate and intimate relationships with each other and how they shift and mold around different circumstances. This feels so authentically them that it hurts.

A moment I loved: 

What came out instead was a small, half-choked sound.

When Obi-Wan opened his arms, Ahsoka fell right into them. “It hurts,” Ahsoka said, her voice cracking. “A lot.”

“I know,” Obi-Wan replied thickly. “We’ll take care of it.”

You Haunt All My What-Ifs by @kckenobi

Summary: But then she saw the way Obi-Wan’s lip was quivering, and his eyes were shining, and she realized— He hadn’t called because he needed to tell her. He’d called because he needed her. “Obi-Wan,” she breathed. “Oh, Obi-Wan…” And she wanted to reach out, to hold him. To be his refuge, his shelter, his home. Instead she just watched as he shook his head, palmed at his eyes, apologized. She reached out. Touched the hologram. It flickered. — [Satine and Obi-Wan—then, now, and every echo of what if between them.]

One of the first fics that got me on my Obitine grind!! Just the right mix of angst and angst to create the perfect recipe of absolute sorrow. These characters feel so real I could reach out and hug them–and oh, how I want to after this incredible little fic.

A moment I loved:

And then suddenly she was thinking of every little what if—the other paths they could’ve taken, the millions of ways they could’ve ended up here. She imagined a future where he’d stayed. She saw white weddings, crying infants, painting nursery rhymes on a pale bedroom wall. She saw herself rolling over in the middle of the night, bumping shoulders, feeling his warm breath on her face. She saw family dinners, rushed breakfasts as they hurried the kids off to school. She saw laughter. She saw a lifetime. And at the end, she saw herself old and gray, holding his hand, his eyes the last thing she’d ever see.They had arrived at the end now. But she was not old and gray.

Dying Words by @cloudyskywars

Summary: Anakin is trapped beneath a collapsed building, and has one final conversation with Obi-Wan.

One of my favourite febuwhump contributions from within the mountain of wonderful fics that the second month of the year created!! Some good ol classic Obi & Ani pain. Hint of a deathfic...but mostly just the moments leading up to it. And they...hurt. Also!!! Melanie took the care to make Anakin’s final words be about Obi-Wan, which is very special to me for the reason she includes in her author’s note.

A moment I loved:

“And,” he said, “if you ever see Ahsoka again, tell her she was the best padawan I could have asked for.” His breaths were coming in rapid pants, now, and the room was spinning out of focus. “Obi-Wan?” he asked, voice barely audible. “Yes, Padawan mine?” he responded, his own voice shaky as well. “Thank you for being my Master,” Anakin said.

i’m only me when i’m with you idiots by @renegadeontherunn

Summary: who let Obi-Wan pick the holo? and where's the remote? they might need a bigger blanket. 

[or, Anakin, Ahsoka, and Obi-Wan have leave on Coruscant and holo night is the perfect excuse to all squeeze onto a couch together, bicker, and be, well, a family]

Fluff, fluff, fluff! Yes, please! My dear Fiona does a wonderful job wrapping these three up in a blanket and plopping them in front of a holo for a night of witty banter and so-cute-I-could-melt platonic cuddles. I love these three, I love this fic!

A moment I loved: 

“You met a civilized Padawan? Couldn’t have been ours.”

get home by @curse-of-men

Summary: After a mission goes wrong and Jedi Knight Anakin Skywalker goes missing, it is up to Obi-Wan Kenobi and Ahsoka Tano to bring him home.

[or: a Grandmaster and a Grandpadawan go on a road trip to rescue chaos personified]

What? Me? Rec’ing another Obi-Wan and Ahsoka centric fic? HUH? Hehe, I love that Lou says this is the missing Obi & Soka arc in their author’s note because um, did they look into my heart and know that’s what I most desire? Anyway, this three-parter is incredible from start to finish and I demand you all go read it immediately. :-)

A moment I loved:

Making their way to the cockpit, Ahsoka tilts her head into Obi-Wan’s general direction and says: “You know, Master, Anakin would probably think things so far have gone excellently.” Obi-Wan returns her look and sighs.

“Now you surely must get why I am so worried about this.” Ahsoka grins and gestures back and forth in the empty space between them with one hand.

“For what it’s worth, I think we make a good enough team.”

we stand here, together by @nightdotlight​

Summary: Master Depa Billaba and Padawan Caleb Dume.

Windu worries for them, out in the wider galaxy. Waging war, while he and Anakin sit here, waiting.

But he trained Billaba, and Billaba is training Dume. Anakin once took lessons from her, when he himself was a Padawan, and he knows she is skilled enough by far, to ensure that both she and her student make it back to Coruscant safely.

It’s ironic, that when cut off from the Force he can understand other people better than he has in years.

ZOWEE!!!! This fic made me ugly cry on my conference period at school!! Ha! Another fic that culminates in, er...death. But!!!! The lead-up! Ooh, baby! The writing style of this one is also very fresh and unique which I appreciate as someone who essentially reads the same thing eight million ways (by choice, mind you!!!! and loves it every time!!!!). This is just an absolute gem of a fic. Queue: your best crying playlist.

A moment I loved: 

Depa, her Padawan braid hanging from her shoulder, hugs him around his middle and drags him to the training salles. The whole way, her laughter follows them– warm, like summer rain. Like the smallest, most ephemeral moments of happiness.

Her smile feels like a sunset on his back, and Mace smiles back even as they spar, as green and purple clash over and over again in a dance unique to teacher and student.

He does not need to reach out to know the galaxy is at peace. When they take a break from their own spar, Mace feels a light tap on his presence in the Force; when he turns, Ahsoka Tano stands there in training robes, her own Master a few paces behind– and beside him, Obi-Wan Kenobi, face lighter than it has been in years.

Her Padawan beads hang from her headdress; when she smiles at the banter behind her, turning to retort, they catch the light, and the half-formed impression of those beads torn asunder and held in gloved hand is dissipated by the glare.

Only Hope by @tessiete

Summary: The infamous "Year on the Run".In the wake of her father's death, Satine is assigned two Jedi to escort her safely back to Mandalore, but in the chaotic aftermath of a civil war, there is more at stake than one person's survival. Together, they work to unite Mandalore, overcome ancient grudges, and bring peace to a world ravaged by bloodshed.

Man, oh man, do I love a good year on the run fic! And man oh man am I loving the heck out of this one. It’s in progress so go ahead give it a bookmark and a subscription while you’re at it!!!! But the banter! The sass! The (I assume soon to come) pining! The Qui-Gon third wheeling! READ IT! Cannot recommend highly enough.

A moment I loved: 

“...and you’re bound to be hungry.”

“I assure you, I’m not.”

“Well, Obi-Wan is,” Jinn asserts. His back is to his apprentice and so he cannot see the mutinous glance which darts his way. “And as you’ve seen, he’s trouble when he isn’t fed. You have five minutes.”

Goes to Ground by jerseydevious

Summary: Obi-Wan has a question for Anakin following his experiences on Zygerria.

Silly Jedi boys trying and failing to communicate, gosh dang it!!! They get there, eventually, though. :’) Some post Zygerria angst and some tough discussions. HERE. FOR. IT. 

A moment I loved: 

“You are a bad influence, padawan mine,” Obi-Wan said. He gave Anakin that smile, the one that made Anakin feel like he shared a secret with his Master, something only for them.

In Sacrifice, Peace by @ilonga

Summary: “Shh. . .” Anakin says, gathering the younglings around him, reminding Obi-wan of all those whispered arguments where he had insisted to Anakin that yes, he was good with children, he’d be just fine teaching Ahsoka. He can almost feel the terror rising off Anakin from the hologram; Anakin doesn’t know what’s happening either. But he isn’t letting the younglings feel it. “You need to listen to me very carefully, okay? This--” his voice breaks, “--this is going to be scary. But you have to be calm, and strong. Just like Master Yoda taught you.” [Or, the ROTS au where Obi-wan finds a very different type of pain while looking through the Temple's recordings of Order 66.]

PAIN AWAITS YOU HERE! But that is exactly why you should click, kudos, comment, bookmark, and let this fic live in your head rent free like it’s living in mine. Truly couldn’t get it out of there if I wanted to! AND I DO NOT! Yet another deathfic and angst with The Team (TM). Read it, peeps.

A moment I loved: 

“And then?”Obi-wan closes his eyes, pretends he can’t feel the weight of the body in his arms, pretends it’s really Anakin he’s talking to and not some worrying coping mechanism. “And then we fight.” he says.

to hold by @katierosefun

Summary: “What—” Ahsoka looked up and, where she had expected to find a mumbling drunk, she found instead—

“Master Kenobi?” Ahsoka asked, stunned. She straightened, already swinging her backpack around herself again.

“Ahsoka,” Obi-Wan managed. He was breathing hard, just barely bent over because he was supporting, Ahsoka realized dumbly, Anakin.

Anakin, whose head was lolling against Obi-Wan’s shoulder. Whose face was two shades too pale and eyes fluttering and lips parted in a soundless groan that brought Ahsoka right back to battlefields and med bays and other places that she hadn’t been in a long, long while. [or: after leaving the Order, Ahsoka runs into some familiar faces.]

Caroline at it again with the post-wrong-jedi disaster trio angst comin’ in hot! Some platonic bed-sharing, some confused Anakin, some conflicted Ahsoka, some pained Obi-Wan. Well–strike that. They’re all in pain. But what do we expect, honestly? What do we want, honestly? Pain. We want pain.

A moment I loved: 

“Only another dream,” Obi-Wan said. He looked at Ahsoka, his face just barely shadowed. “Seems that it’s passed.”

Another. 

Ahsoka’s stomach twisted. She looked at the hand she was holding. It was strange—she couldn’t remember if she had ever actually held onto Anakin’s hand this tightly before, but now she could feel the familiar callouses, make out just the faintest of old scars. Ahsoka squeezed it once.

Not near as many as I planned to do or have saved and ready to rec, but...this already got, er...quite lengthy. So! Same time, next week! I’ll have some more! (Well, probably not same time and maybe not even next week...but soon.) 

[jasontoddiefor]

Summary: In a world where the different Jedi sects co-exist, Ahsoka Tano and her Master Obi-Wan Kenobi are waiting for a stranger in the desert.

AN: I have started a new WIP.

Ahsoka had learned quite a lot since she had become her Master’s Padawan. Mostly she had been taught how to fight, take down opponents twice her size, how to defend and protect others by building walls higher than anyone could climb, and not get lost in the screaming, tear-stained horror of war. Perhaps it was not the padawanhood that Ahsoka had imagined, but she wouldn’t trade Obi-Wan for any other Master. He was patient, kind, and never lost his temper with her, even when Ahsoka made a foolish mistake, and the day had been longer than a week.

Her Master always kept busy, running around organizing one thing or another. The evidence of his exhaustion was visible in the bags under his eyes he didn’t quite manage to hide behind meditations anymore. He was relentlessly trying to find a way to end this war earlier, to save more people, to lessen the burden on each and every person he loved. Ahsoka would be glad if they could cease fighting within just a few short months, but even she knew that the chance of peace was dwindling with every life lost on either side.

And they certainly weren’t on Tatooine to talk about peace. At most, they were hoping to negotiate non-involvement from the Hutts – at least superficially, of course the Hutts would continue with their underground dealings, even the GAR relied on it – and use of their hyperspace lanes.

“General, if you don’t mind me asking, who are we waiting for?”

Ahsoka was glad that Cody had spoken up. She wasn’t sure if she would have been able to keep her silence much longer. She hadn’t wanted to pester Obi-Wan with questions, but she was curious why they had landed in the middle of the Force-forsaken desert in the middle of the night and not anywhere near Jabba’s palace.

“We are waiting for an informant,” Obi-Wan said. “An old friend, if you will.”

Ahsoka opened her mouth to ask what kind of friend Obi-Wan had on Tatooine of all places when she saw a figure approaching on a speeder. Immediately, everyone looked up. When a few of the more blaster-inclined clones of their small squadron reached for their weapons, Obi-Wan gave them the hand sign to lay low. They exchanged curious looks but dropped the guns, trusting him completely. Ahsoka hoped that she could inspire such trust in her someday.

The person parked their speeder just outside of their camp. From what Ahsoka could see, they were dressed entirely in dark robes, cut not dissimilar to those of a Coruscanti Jedi, while their face was covered by a dark scarf. Various trinkets hung from their belts and arms, as well as twin blasters, making the barest of noises when they approached the camp. Golden jewelry glinted in the light of their fire, feathers, pouches, bells, and something that could be bones chimed sweetly with the wind. The figure stretched, then they took notice of Obi-Wan. Quicker than Ahsoka could have stopped them, they had crossed the remaining distance and thrown themselves at Obi-Wan.

“Obi-Wan!”

Her Master just barely managed to keep his balance as he accepted the hug of the other person. They embraced tightly, an eternity passing in which dark leather-gloved fingers dug into her Master’s back, then let go of each other. The figure removed the dark scarf from around their head, let it fall around their neck, revealing tanned skin, a human face, and dark blonde hair that was framed by little golden feathers tugged behind his ears.

The person smiled openly, rolled forward on their toes and only then spoke. “It’s been a while.”

Their voice was surprisingly soft, melodic almost.

“That it has,” Obi-Wan agreed, smiling just as welcoming, the Force lighting up in reciprocal. “It has been too long since we last saw each other, Anakin. Thank you for meeting us here, even if the circumstances are not ideal.”

The newly named Anakin just shrugged. “I was in the area and really, making an extra stop at Tatooine for you is no trouble.”

The two looked ready to forget about just everyone else still standing around the campfire, watching them, and so Ahsoka decided to do her duty and coughed. “Master, would you be so kind as to introduce us?”

“Ah, yes, of course. Apologies, Ahsoka.”

“Ahsoka,” Anakin mumbled, then snapped their fingers, alight with recognition as they faced Obi-Wan. “Your Padawan, correct?”

Obi-Wan nodded and Anakin grinned, pointing at Cody next. “And then that must be Cody. It’s nice to meet you, I’m Anakin Skywalker, he/him.”

He bowed formally with both his feet firm on the ground, one hand clasped over his heart, the other on his back. Delighted, Ahsoka copied the gesture. It had been ages since she’d been at the temple and someone had greeted her with all the respect Jedi usually gave each other.

“It’s nice to meet you too,” Ahsoka returned his greeting, still trying to figure out who this Anakin was that her Master had decided to talk to him about her.

“Anakin here is a Teepo Paladin—”

“Sort of,” Anakin interrupted Obi-Wan, tilting his hand and shaking it in a so-and-so matter. “I haven’t been back to our temple in years, so I’m still not technically a Paladin, but still a Knight on their Search…”

He stopped talking when he realized that nobody had any idea of what he was talking about. Ahsoka didn’t know much about the Teepo Paladins. They were a relatively small group, and unlike the Altisian or Corellian Jedi, they hadn’t joined the Republic Army and stayed mostly on their own, following the Force. Ahsoka had learned about them, and all the other groups the ordinary sentient threw under the header Jedi, in her classes, but she’d never actually met a Teepo Jedi.

“Doesn’t matter,” Anakin said, shaking his head. “How can I help you?”

“We need to negotiate with Jabba,” Obi-Wan said, not wasting a single minute. “Do you think you can tell us something that would be useful?”

“Uh,” Anakin put his head in his hands. “Yeah, he’s a bastard and gates my guts. If he sees me around you guys, it’s definitely not going to be pleasant.”

“What did you do to him?” Ahsoka asked, curiosity taking ahold of her tongue before she could stop herself.

Anakin didn’t seem to mind the interruption; he only eagerly continued his narration. “Decided to steal his latest shipment of slaves and then some. With Coruscant, Corellia, and the Altisian bores—”

“Anakin.” Her Master’s voice rang out sharp, reminding Ahsoka of the times he scolded her.

Anakin rolled his eyes. “Fine, fine, the Altisian Jedi all running the Republic army, the rest, who hasn’t sworn allegiance to a planet or a system, is just doing damage control all around. I’ve wrecked a couple dozen pirate ships already, or so it feels, at least. But yeah, long story short, I won’t be able to help with Jabba, but I can provide backup if it goes sideways?”

Obi-Wan sighed, but even so, he still felt happy and comfortable to Ahsoka’s senses as he hadn’t in weeks. “We’ll take what we can get. I’ll call the Council. Do you want to stay with us for the night?”

Anakin gave him a thumbs up. “Already told my mother I was staying. And I brought my own food, so you don’t have to spare your rations. I think I might even have some sweets.” He glanced at Ahsoka and winked conspiringly, making her giggle.

Obi-Wan’s expression softened. “Alright, alright, I see, you’re set for life. Get comfortable then.”

He turned around to walk a little away from the camp, but from the way his shoulders twitched, Ahsoka assumed that he definitely heard Anakin’s shouted: “Not without you!”

As her Master had ordered, everyone who wasn’t on watch gathered around the campfire and broke out the rations. Anakin did, indeed, share his candy with her and handed out more of the local food to the clones.

“My mother packed it,” he said when he shared more of the salt-covered blackberries. “It would be a waste not to share it.”

Sitting around the fire with them, he fit right in despite not looking much like a warrior. If anything, his attire, decorated with trinkets that had to stem from various planets, reminded Ahsoka of a traveler. But if she were to believe his stories, he must be quite the fighter. Ahsoka knew that more and more pirates were growing powerful and influential without Coruscant’s oversight, but she hadn’t known that the other sects had stepped up to deal with it. She wondered if the Council knew. Though, Obi-Wan hadn’t seemed surprised by it, so they were probably aware.

“So, do you not carry a lightsaber?” Ticker, one of the younger clones, asked. “I only see your blasters. I didn’t know Jedi carried those.”

“The Coruscant sect doesn’t,” Anakin agreed and then turned to Ahsoka. “Though, I think you’re still all taught how to? I know Obi-Wan’s wickedly good with a sniper rifle.”

“Of course,” Ahsoka replied quickly. She got her blaster sessions with the best marksmen of the 212th, who all ensured she should be fine if she ever lost her lightsaber.

Not that Ahsoka was planning on it.

“Right, my Order carries blasters additionally to our lightsabers.” He moved his robes and revealed his lightsaber. “I just keep it a little more hidden away. It makes it easier to work sometimes if people don’t see from a mile away that you’re a Jedi.”

Ahsoka found herself agreeing with him. It made sense and she knew that there had been at least five missions that would have been easier if their target hadn’t immediately spotted that she was a lightsaber. She knew that her Order carried the blades openly purposefully so that they could be easily identified, they had to be as they were an officially recognized member of the Republic, but Quinlan and Aayla didn’t. Most Covenant Jedi actually didn’t, ensuring they could do their work in the shadows. Occasionally, Ahsoka wondered whether she was supposed to know so much about how they operated, or if that was just a benefit of Obi-Wan being close friends with Quinlan.

“And where’s the difference between your… everything and the General’s?”

“Don’t ask me for details,” Anakin said. “Haven’t had one of those discussions in a while, but our differences aren’t that huge. Most of the differences stem from the Republic backing of the Coruscant sect, I think. The members of my Order just also carry blasters and fight entirely submerged in the Force. We also don’t really do missions, which sucks for budgeting because we still have to get funding, and just go wherever the Force takes us. We don’t really have the numbers to provoke the big changes, that’s more up Coruscant’s or Corellia’s alley. We try to help the small people on the ground and hope the big guys make sure we can leave one planet in safe hands and travel to the next.”

That sounded familiar to Ahsoka. The Coruscant sect was the largest, so they had the most influence, even if too many Senators only played pretend at listening to their suggestions. At least the Chancellor trusted them.

“What do you mean, fight submerged in the Force?” A different clone, Storytime, ever the curious, spoke up. “Is that different from the General and the Commander?”

“Oh! Right.” Anakin laughed. “So basically, we cover our eyes and ears during a fight?”

“You do what?” Cody’s alarmed tone made Ahsoka only snort. She still remembered his attempt at getting Obi-Wan to wear a little more armor by pointing at the Revanchist folks that had accompanied them on one mission.

It had been an absolute train-wreck, but they had managed to succeed. Somehow.

Anakin only grinned in reply and reached for the golden feathers behind his ears. He took them off, revealing that they were not, in fact, feathers, but electronic devices with small buttons. 

“I tap these, and they block out any and all noise and cover my eyes. Then I trust the Force to keep me safe and tell me where I need to pay attention.”

“That sounds… risky.” If Ahsoka didn’t know better, she’d say that Cody was having a heart attack. His assessment of that fighting style had been exceedingly polite given that he looked as if he wanted to cuss it out.

Anakin shrugged as if it were no big deal to him and, having grown up in such a way, it probably wasn’t. “It wasn’t that difficult to get used to. I grew up here on Tatooine. The sand and the heat steal away plenty of your senses already.”

“You weren’t raised in your temple then?”

Anakin shook his head. “No, not really. We do have a temple, a rather small one, not even a tenth of Coruscant’s size. We raise children there, but most of the time, everyone is just on their Search.”

He emphasized the last word so that Ahsoka concluded it must be a special ritual that wasn’t like their Search for younglings.

“My Master was on his Search when he found me and since the Force didn’t call him home, he continued to travel with me.”

That sounded like a strange childhood to have. Ahsoka hadn’t known anything of the galaxy but the temple walls and Ilum until Obi-Wan had accepted her as his Padawan. Since then, she had seen plenty of other planets, even if she hadn’t had too much time to appreciate their beauty. She wondered how Anakin had gotten his education. Ahsoka had attended many classes of dozens of teachers in the temple. His childhood didn’t appear to resemble hers a lot, but she could easily picture a small human boy trailing after another masked Jedi, chatting with just the same cheer he was talking now.

“Sounds fascinating,” Storytime breathed. 

“Once the war is over, feel free to come to visit us. I know of at least one other Paladin who has attached himself to a Clone squadron and is planning to take them home for a visit at least once.”

“That would be very kind,” Storytime replied.

“No problem.”

Anakin then suddenly turned his head, his motion so rash that the clones instinctually reached for their blasters. Thankfully, they recognized Obi-Wan quickly enough that nobody got hurt accidentally.

Obi-Wan only blinked at them and then sat down next to Anakin. “What a lovely greeting.”

Some of the clones sheepishly packed their blasters away while others just shot back a look that was as dry as Obi-Wan’s words. They were on Tatooine; it made sense to be even more on guard than usual.

“And? What did your Council say?” Anakin asked, handing Obi-Wan a plate with food.

“Coruscant is not taking any responsibility for any outside agents who might get involved in this mission,” Obi-Wan replied, the flow of his words so steady that he had to be reciting the words of another.

“That’s council speak for ‘let him do whatever he wants’, right?”

Obi-Wan paused with his meal to confirm his question. “Yes, Anakin, that means you can do whatever you want. But if you get invited by the Republic for a hearing, we’re not backing you up either.”

“Yes, yes, I had expected nothing else from you sticker-to-the-rules Coruscanti.”

“Says the head-in-the-clouds Teepo,” Obi-Wan retorted in the same manner, matching Anakin’s intonation, quoting old stereotypes that used to be hurled as insults but have since only become something almost akin to terms of endearments.

“So, when are we going to leave?” Ahsoka asked. She wanted to know if she should go to bed early or prepare herself for a long night.

“Tomorrow before the sun rises,” Obi-Wan said, glancing at Anakin for confirmation.

“Yes, best to leave early on Tatooine. I’d also suggest trying to get some sleep. Negotiations will be exhausting.”

Obi-Wan hummed in agreement. “You know what that means, Ahsoka.”

“Yes, yes.” Ahsoka stood up. “Bedtime for me. I’m not a little youngling anymore, Master. I know when to get my sleep.”

She bid them goodnight and headed back towards the ship, ready to sleep curled up in the small med-station of their transport that was as close to a proper bed as she could get. She didn’t know how much longer her Master and his friend stayed up, but both looked well-rested when she got up the next day. Her Master, perhaps, even a little less exhausted than usual.

[shatouto]

hi yes this is another installment in the raised-as-sith anakin x jedi obi-wan au i co-write with @obiwanobi. we’ve been putting what we got so far on ao3 for archiving/organizing purposes so before you read this pls check it out first if you haven’t bc there is some semblance of continuity, thank you :’) (this installment on ao3)

content note: past psychological and physical abuse, messy healing, please proceed with care

you love him dearly

You stand alone in a great dark hall. There’s no sound but your pulse jolting in bouts inside your ears. Like the footsteps of a scared bantha. And you feel like a scared bantha. You haven’t felt like this in a long time. You used to be worth less than a bantha, with your weak hands and your small body. All you were ever able to do was get yourself and your mom hurt. You felt so bad, so very bad, so bad that you were willing to beg your mom to let you go, when this man came and swept you up. This man who called you the Chosen One. This man who you now call...

“Master,” you say, and waits for your Master to acknowledge you.

Sometimes you think it’s strange, to trade one master for another. But this Master, your Master, is a different sort. Your Master taught you how to hate the right people, in the right way; gave you a crystal and let you forge your own lightsabers. Your Master told you you were special. No, no, it doesn’t matter that you were a slave, you are special, my boy. You know you are different, do you not? That you learn faster than children your age; that your reflexes are sharper, your intuition stronger. You see things before people do, know things before people see, and do things before people know. The future and the past are sometimes indistinguishable in your dreams. Clever child, golden child, you are certainly worth more than a bantha; oh, you are worth more than the population on that sandy speck combined. You are the Chosen One! You are destined for greatness.

You were weak and small and nothing. You deserve so much more, so much more. A pity that the universe has never given you and will never give you what you truly deserve. None of that is your fault, my poor boy; they are simply too blind and puny to appreciate your capacity and recognize your power. But worry not: Your Master will give it to you. Your Master is here to help you. You love him dearly, because you are nothing without him, because the universe is stupid and cruel and you hate it for making you feel like nothing. Your Master, on the other hand, must love you dearly, or else he would not have told you all about how special you are. Would not have trained you to be so strong. Would not have given you the respectable name of…

“Darth Vader.”

The greeting sounds more like a warning, because you deserve it. “I—I’m sorry. I wasn’t strong enough.” Even your voice comes out too small.

“Little need to apologize in words, my apprentice,” says your Master. “You know what must be done. You must learn your lesson.”

You love him, you love him, you love him. You love your Master, you chant in your heart, as you hang your head and tuck your tongue back and wait like the good apprentice you are.

The first blow is always the hardest. You convulse, feeling as if a thousand red-hot needles are exploding from within your sinews. Blinding pain crackles through your body, and you scream yourself…

Awake.

Anakin sits up in his sleeping bag, panting. He thinks he heard the tail end of a scream, his own, but it’s all silent now. He’s alone in the dark, the healed stump of his right arm tingling under the prosthetic cap. He searches his psyche for the tatters of a bond between him and the late Sith Lord; there's nothing left. Darth Sidious is truly dead. Two strides away from him, Obi-Wan Kenobi sleeps soundly in his bed.

His eyes soften. The sight of Obi-Wan soothes him, reminding him of where he is in time and in space. It has been a few months since he killed his Sith Master. He is in the Jedi Temple, in quarters belonging to Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi and Padawan Ahsoka Tano. Nobody knows he is here.

Anakin turns away as one would turn away from a too-bright light. You can’t look at the sun for too long or it’ll burn your eyes; especially if you are used to darkness. He breathes in, and out, and shakily pulls off the cover of the sleeping bag. His new metal fingertips nearly tear through the fabric.

“Anakin?”

Anakin doesn’t flinch, but his stomach flips. Obi-Wan’s silhouette slowly sits up in bed, tousled and softly rumpled and Anakin feels frighteningly tender in the chest. He keeps his head down, not wanting to meet Obi-Wan’s eyes right now.

“Anakin, is everything alright?”

Anakin mumbles out something vaguely affirmative, and pushes himself to his feet. “Fresher,” he says, hurrying away. He doesn’t return to the bedroom afterwards, but goes straight to the kitchenette and begins to prepare a rather large breakfast. He knows Obi-Wan doesn’t go back to sleep either. He wills himself to ignore the circles under Obi-Wan’s eyes, come morning.

—

“Anakin, I have been thinking,” Obi-Wan begins, as he takes their empty plates to the kitchen, where a dishwashing droid stands await. “You don’t happen to have a habit of meditating, do you?”

Anakin almost tenses up at meditating, but he only lets out a huff of breath and opens the droid’s compartment doors. He’s glad Ahsoka is away for the night, staying in her friend’s quarters or some such. If she joins in with Obi-Wan it’ll only be harder for him to reject the request. Because that’s clearly a request, no matter how fancily Obi-Wan phrases his question.

I hate it teeters on the tip of his tongue, but Anakin just answers: “No, I don’t.” Obi-Wan likes meditation, as all Jedi do. It would feel bad, be bad, to say he hates something Obi-Wan likes.

Obi-Wan hums. Dishes clink as he sets them in one by one. “Would you be so opposed to it, then?”

Anakin pulls his shields higher so that none of the screaming No no no I hate it in his mind is going to bleed through to Obi-Wan in the Force. He makes the mistake of turning to look at Obi-Wan, because he can’t help it, and he's met with a hopeful smile and gentle, crinkled eyes. He can't bear to see that smile fall. “...Guess not,” he mutters.

“I would keep you company, if that’s fine,” Obi-Wan continues on merrily, like the good-natured Jedi he is. “I mean to invite you to join me for meditation before bedtime, in fact. Is that alright?”

Anakin stares down at his mismatched hands. If there is one thing he hates more than meditating, it’s meditating with someone watching. He tries very hard not to grit his teeth.

“Of course, you don’t have to,” Obi-Wan adds, fingers briefly brushing Anakin’s flesh wrist. The sensation shoots right into Anakin’s heart. That settles it; it’s not even a question. Obi-Wan will be disappointed if he doesn’t.

“It’s alright,” Anakin says, shutting the droid’s compartment door. The timer beeps, unhelpfully helping him count down to the dreaded session.

—

“So this is meditation?” Anakin blurts.

Obi-Wan sits cross-legged on his bed, in his soft robes and sleeping pants. He opens his eyes in a quizzical gaze as Anakin remains standing. Anakin curls his hands into fists and tries not to fiddle with the hem of his tunic. Obi-Wan frowns, unfurls from his position and comes up so near that Anakin wants to hold his breath. He smells like the cotton flower-scented fabric softener, like crisp, warm laundry - he smells like hard-earned safety. “You don’t need to lie to me, Anakin,” he says, a hand on Anakin’s shoulder. “I will instruct you from the beginning if you need me to, and I promise to help you with any difficulty. Now tell me: Have you meditated before?”

Obi-Wan says so, but Anakin is not about to tell him about the Sphere; about the long hours spent in that terrible spheroid room with enough space for you to wish you could move from your spot, but the walls were too smooth and curved for you to scale; about how silent it was in there save for his Master’s voice in his mind. Anakin is not about to tell this Jedi about the splatter of blood in the Sphere where he once bashed his head against until he passed out because he could not take it. How Sidious had punished him for it afterwards. How he never dared to do it again.

“...No,” Anakin says. “Show me.”

Obi-Wan nods; his hand slips down his shoulder and runs gently down his arm. Anakin blinks. Obi-Wan's touch always feels so… nice. Unhurried and mellow and never really demanding anything back. “I see. Take a seat beside me. Make yourself comfortable, please.”

Anakin crosses his legs as Obi-Wan does. Nervousness winds his core tight, makes his back rigid and ramrod straight. Obi-Wan is near him, both in physical presence and in the Force, his signature pulsing with the light of sunrays through butterfly wings.

“Relax, Anakin. Loosen your muscles”—his warm hand traces across Anakin’s back from shoulder to shoulder, then down his spine—“and your jaws.” His fingertips brush the hinge of Anakin’s jaws just as he says so. Anakin nearly shivers. It takes him longer than he thought it would, to truly follow those orders.

“...There we go,” Obi-Wan says. He draws back, and Anakin should be glad that the distracting touch is gone, but he feels disappointed instead. “Now breathe in deep. Ah, wait. Do it again, breathe in, deeper, and try to hold it. Yes, like that…”

They spend the next quarter hour or so wrestling with his breathing pattern, keeping it both deep and steady. Anakin goes from counting the beats to counting the breaths to finally not needing to count at all. And then when he thinks he’s gotten the hang of it…

“Let go? You mean I shouldn’t focus on my breathing anymore?” he asks, puzzled, bordering on frustrated. “But you just told me to be mindful of it.”

“Yes, correct, Anakin.” Obi-Wan sounds unfazed. “Be mindful of the rhythm, and keep it up. You’ve done well so far. Now you must turn your focus inwards, and meet the Force within you.”

Anakin’s eyes slide open for a split second and then fall shut again. He doesn’t understand, but he could just try. This isn’t any difficulty that he needs to bother his instructor with. He nods, and begins again. He begins with his breathing. In, and out. Slow, and steady. And now he must not think about the breaths anymore. Now he must...

The Force within him is a well of ink. Ink that glisten from black to crimson like the blood on his hand. Ink that sloshes and laps against the walls and the echoes turn into screams. A bright white fracture crackles from one corner of his vision to the other. Centipede-like arches of incandescence skitter under his skin. Drip, drip, the blood, no, the ink, it drips and it trails and it tickles his skin. There’s the familiar taste of copper at the back of his tongue, flavors just waiting to burst. Cruel laughter echoes from the bottom of the inky well, and somewhere in the thick darkness there is the outline of a woman’s silhouette, of small but strong shoulders and—

Something warm brushes his psyche.

Warm, but too close. Anakin snatches that tendril without a thought and delves counter-current through Force-realm. He forces himself to the other side, even as something shatters around him. He knows the drill. *Your self-preservation can only come at the cost of others', my boy.* Colors begin to flash, gentle and muted, bearing the fuzzy quality of memories. Sunlight flickers, filigree wings flutter, landing on durasteel grounds. He feels tears on his face and tears in his throat and his forehead is pressed close to someone else’s, someone he loves so dearly—no, not him, someone that the person to whom this mind belongs loves so dearly.

“...proud of you. Carry on, Obi-Wan. Live brightly.”

“Yes, Master.”

There's no silence more thorough than a heartbeat evening out into nothingness. There's no solitude more poignant than the company of a vanishing light. Saying goodbye is never an easy feat, even for a Jedi, and the anger and sorrow he felt—

“Anakin! Stop!”

Anakin jolts awake. A thick, ferric drop trails from his nose, warm on his lips. He opens his eyes and finds Obi-Wan beneath him, wide-eyed. His hands are pressing Obi-Wan’s shoulders into the mattress. Obi-Wan, who was teaching him to meditate, who brushed his mental shields in the process of instruction. Obi-Wan, his teacher. And if all of those images belonged to Obi-Wan…

He just broke into Obi-Wan’s mind.

Anakin scrambles back. The ink, no, the blood, now drips down his chin. It tickles. His teeth clatter as shivers rake up inside him. He clenches his jaws and stares at the ground. The sheets rustle.

“I think that’s quite enough for tonight.” Obi-Wan doesn’t sound angry, just somewhat breathless. Even concerned. Anakin doesn’t believe it. “Anakin, you’re bleeding. Do you need—”

“No.” Anakin staggers to his feet and backs away. Nothing worse than asking for more and becoming even more of a burden because everything he takes is a debt and he will pay for it. His Master always made sure he paid. “No. I’ll—I’ll clean up. I’m sorry. I’ll clean up.”

He stands there just long enough for Obi-Wan to respond - with anything, words, blows, anything. In the end, Obi-Wan only says, “Alright. Please, take care.” Anakin’s eyes flick up to find a grimace. He turns away and all but runs to the fresher, more dismayed than relieved.

Because if the punishment doesn’t come right away, that only means he’s going to have to wait.

[imagineyourworld-old]

The Duchess and the Captain (Part One)

Captain Rex x Fem!Duchess!Reader 

Summary: Regency AU! Marrying Duke Palpatine was not your idea of a perfect marriage, but meeting a certain Captain in his personal guard might make up for it. 

Warnings: This is in no way historically accurate and the names I came up with are truly terrible, mentions of sex 

Check out my other works: Masterlist 

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Of course you had always known you’d one day have to marry a man your parents chose for you. And yet you couldn’t stop hoping and wishing that you wold marry a handsome, kind man, maybe even someone close to your own age instead of the older men your friends were married off to. But these dreams stopped the moment your parents told you who they had chosen as your husband.  “Duke Palpatine is a very respectable man with a huge fortune”, your mother had told you.  “He will provide for you and any children you will have”, your father had added.  “And he’s old, if you’re lucky he’ll die sooner rather than later”, your brother had tried to console you. Of course your parents hadn’t appreciated that comment.  But now here you were, in a carriage larger than any you had ever traveled in, on your way to your new home.  Just hours after the wedding ceremony your new husband, though part of you still refused to call him that, had told you he’d need to leave for one of his many estates first thing in the morning. And after the wedding night, which you refused to think about, he left with most of his men, leaving you to travel to your new home without your husband.  “I can tell you miss him already”, your mother smiled. She was accompanying you to your new home and would stay a few weeks to help you get settled until the Duke’s return.  You turned away from the landscape you had been looking at through the window. Deep down you knew you had no reason to be mad at your mother, all she had done was make sure you were married to a wealthy man. It wasn’t her fault you were not allowed to choose your own husband, nor that Palpatine had proposed and your father had accepted the offer. In fact, you didn’t even know whether your mother had any say in the decision.  “It’s hard to miss someone you only knew for a single day, even if that someone is your husband”, you told her.  Just as she opened her mouth to reply the carriage came to a sudden halt and a moment later someone knocked on the door.  You opened it just a little bit to reveal General Skywalker, the leader of the troop of your husband’s personal guard that was accompanying you.  “General”, a small smile found its way to your lips at the sight of the friendly face and you opened the door a bit wider. “Why are we stopping?”  The young General bowed his head ever so slightly while still keeping eye contact.  “We were just informed that part of the way was flooded due to heavy rains last night, your Grace. I thought it best to stop at this inn for tonight and continue our journey tomorrow.”  You tried your best to smile politely, even though this unexpected stop was the last thing you wanted right now.  “Of course, General.” 

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Just a few minutes later General Skywalker lead you into the main room of the small inn, your mother following with the Captain, whose name you had not yet learned.  “If you’ll allow, my lady, I will arrange the rooms while you wait with Captain Rex”, the General said. He turned around to look at the other man and you did the same.  Of course you had noticed him from a distance, but from up close you could see that his eyes were not dark, but a light caramel brown and even hints of brown roots where his hair was growing out.  “I will be just fine with the Captain. Thank you, General.”  Only a moment after General Skywalker left another man approached you. He looked so much like the Captain, you assumed they must be related somehow. He bowed to you and your mother before turning to the Captain to tell him something in a quiet tone. “ “Alright, Fives”, the blond agreed after a while. Just as the other man turned to leave, however, your mother asked him to escort her back to the carriage to get some personal belongings she didn’t want anyone else to get their hands on.  “You don’t mind waiting here for me, do you, darling?”, she asked you. You shook your head and just a second later you were alone with the Captain.  You tried your hardest not to look at him and inspect your surroundings instead, but you could feel his eyes on you. His stare, though burning, felt protective and comfortable rather than threatening, but after a while it made you face him nonetheless.  “Is there something you want to say to me, Captain?”, you asked in your best Duchess voice, a tone you still needed to practice a lot more based on the glint in his eyes.  “Nothing at all, your Grace.”  You nodded. A small smile graced his handsome face and there was a certain warmth in his eyes you did not expect from someone in your husband’s guard.  “I must admit, you are not like I expected you to be”, he finally said after a moment of silence.  You knew it wasn’t his place to say such things, and based on the shadow that took over his features he knew as well, but you couldn’t help but be intrigued.  “I do hope that’s a compliment”, you said with a smile. The first real smile, you suddenly realized, in weeks.  The Captain nodded.  “It most certainly is. You are younger than I expected, kinder, and more beautiful as wel-”  “Captain”, General Skywalker interrupted his kind words.  Any warmth disappeared from the Captain’s face as realization set in. He stood up even straighter than before as he turned to face the General.  “I am sorry, sir. I should not have said those things.”  Even though you barely knew the man you could tell General Skywalker was fighting a smile and there was a hint of amusement behind his sinister expression.  “You should apologize to the Duchess, not to me, and hope she was not offended by what you just said.”  The Captain turned back to you with a blush on his face. He wore a schooled look of remorse and respect, but there was just a hint of fear in his eyes.  “I was not offended, Captain Rex. Quite the opposite, you paid me very kind compliments and I should hate for you to be punished for that.” Your last words were directed more at the General than the Captain.  “T- Thank you, my lady”, the blond stuttered with a look of utter relief on his face.  You would have liked to say something else, maybe even compliment him in return, but your mother’s arrival destroyed any thought of that.  “I would like to be shown to my room now”, she said.  Her words, her posture and her tone made you realize how inappropriate your conversation with the Captain had been. A Duchess should demand respect and not talk to her guard as if he were her friend, even if that guard was good looking and nice and made her feel like a person for the first time in a while. 

--------

You stood in front of the grandest and most beautiful house you had ever seen in your life. How this could be called a house instead of a palace was, quite frankly, beyond you. There were more windows than you could count, a polished facade and flowers growing all around it.  You could hear a soft “oh” coming from your mother, who stood a few feet behind you. It would take you a while to get used to the fact that your mother, being a lady, would now always stand behind you, the Duchess of Empireshire.  In front of the house stood the servants, from the butler and the housekeeper to the gardeners and kitchen maids. As if on command they bowed or curtsied the moment your eyes landed on them. When they came up again a good looking man with a well kept beard approached you, followed by a beautiful woman with the kindest eyes you had ever seen.  “Allow me to introduce myself, your Grace. I am the butler, Obi-Wan Kenobi. And this is  Satine Kryze, the housekeeper. Welcome to Senatehall.”  You gave both of them a smile you hoped looked graceful, even though you felt incredibly out of place. In this moment you were supposed to have your husband by your side, to take your hand and guide you to your new home. Though you supposed being alone was favorable to having Palpatine with you.  “Thank you, Kenobi, Kryze.” At least you knew how to address your new employees. “Thank you for this kind welcome. I am very much looking forward to exploring this breathtaking house, but for now all I want is to retire, preferably with a cup of tea.”  You could almost sense your mother’s nod of approval. This was how a Duchess was supposed to behave, not getting lost in a Captain’s eyes in a roadside in. A Captain you had not even seen all day.  “Certainly, my lady”, Kryze, though you couldn’t help calling her Satine in your mind, said. She waved and a young woman approached. She could not be much older than you were, though you considered her to be a whole lot prettier.  “This is Padmé. She will be your lady’s maid, unless of course you brought your own with you.”  You shook your head to tell her that you had not. In fact, you had never even had your own lady’s maid and had shared one with your mother your whole life.  “It is nice to meet you,Padmé.”  She smiled.  “Nice to meet you too, my lady. Would you like me to show you to your rooms?”  With a single nod from you Padmé ushered you inside.  Though you could see how beautiful and expensive everything was on the inside, you were too tired to actually pay attention to anything.  “I hope everything is to your liking. I took the liberty to redecorate a bit, but of course you’re free to change anything you like”, Padmé said as she opened one of the doors in the very long hallway. She stepped aside to let you enter and you found yourself in a stunning sitting room.  Two small sofas were in the middle of the room with a table between them. The walls were lined with shelves, some filled with books, other with small trinkets or flowers. Next to the huge windows overlooking the park stood a small writing desk with nothing but a picture of your husband on it, which you decided to ignore for now.  “Padmé, it is beautiful”, you told the other woman.  She lowered her head in thanks, but you could see a smile gracing her lips. “I am glad. Would you like to see the bedroom and the bathroom before your tea arrives?”  The bedroom was just as beautiful, though a bit smaller. Two wardrobes stood on both sides of the door, a vanity table next to the window and a small nightstand with a bouquet of flowers next to the bed. The bed, however, took up most of the room. It was gigantic, bigger than any bed you had seen before, and beautiful with its soft pink blankets, matching pillows and canopy hanging around it. But it made you nervous as well. You hated thinking about what would eventually have to happen in that bed, and who it would happen with. One night had been more than enough and your husband had not hurt you, it had been nothing like the sweet and romantic experience your friend Nova had described to you in whispers after her own wedding night.  Other than the bedroom and the sitting room, the bathroom was nothing special. Still pretty, but mostly practical.  “You’re tea is here, my lady”, Padmé called from the sitting room, but you barely registered her words.  The other woman entered the bedroom just a second later.  “Are you alright, your Grace?”  It was only when you felt her hand on your shoulder that you were awaken from your trance.  “I’m fine, thank you. Could you help me loosen my corset, though? I can barely breath in this thing.”  Padmé got straight to work. She helped you undress and loosed the string of your corset a bit. Immediately you felt freer and could actually take deep breaths.  “Is that better, my lady?”  You nodded in relief.  “Much, thanks. Though I wish you’d stop calling me that, I am (Y/N).”  Though Padmé stood behind you, you could see her from the vanity mirror. She shook her head, but a smile was on her lips.  “I don’t think I can to that. It’s not proper.”  You turned around. Being alone with someone your age, having your corset loosened and finally realizing your position made you desperate.  “I know. Believe me, I know. But we’re going to spend a lot of time together and I would be more comfortable if you called me by my name. Plus, I need a friend since I don’t know anyone here and I’m hoping you might be that friend and friends call each other by their first names.”   This time Padmé saw no other choice but to agree. 

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Being alone for the first time since the wedding and the warm tea in your stomach made you more relaxed than you had been for a while and before you knew it you were asleep.  When you woke you didn’t remember even falling asleep, nor why you had woken up. Only the warm and secure feeling the dream gave you remained, until your growling stomach made even that disappear.  You sat up from the rather uncomfortable position on the sofa and looked around the room. The moon outside was illuminating most of it and a small fire did the rest, nonetheless you were shivering.  Quickly you made your way to the bedroom, where you found a warm, soft robe folded at the foot of the bed. You slipped it on while your stomach growled again.  Back in the sitting room the clock on the bookshelf told you that it was already half past nine. Which was way past dinner time and made you wonder why no one had woken you up to eat. But you decided not to dwell on the though, instead you opened the door and slipped into the hallway.  It was dark, only a few candles were lit along the walls, but they gave you enough light to find your way downstairs to the entry hall. From there on, though, you had no idea where to go. Finally, after trying to remember whether Padmé had even told you what direction the kitchen was in, you headed down another hallway.  This one was darker than the one upstairs, and colder as well. You shivered in your thin dress and robe, but didn’t want to give up your search for the kitchen.  “Who’s there? Reveal yourself!”, a stern voice sounded from your right.  Though you knew it wasn’t the smartest move, you yelped and turned around with wide eyes.  “I- Miss (Y/N), no, wait! Duchess (Y/N)”, you remembered your new title.  Suddenly a door opened and illuminated the hallway. Due to the sudden brightness you didn’t recognize who stepped out, you only saw a tall, muscular man. You opened your mouth to scream for help, hoping someone would wake up and hear you, when the man spoke.  “Your Grace, you really should not be here this late at night.”  “Captain Rex?”, you asked, recognizing his voice.  The Captain stepped closer so that you could finally see his face. His eyes seemed to be glowing in the dark hallway, though his eyebrows were crunched in confusion.  “What are you doing here?”, he asked in an almost hushed voice and suddenly you realized how inappropriate the situation was. Though you were still dressed, your corset was looser than you were used to, you hair had come loose and parts of it hung down your back, not to mention that you were alone with him.  “I was looking for the kitchen. I missed dinner because I fell asleep and now I’m awake and I’m hungry and I was hoping there might be some leftovers in the kitchen, or maybe at least some fruit. Maybe a couple of strawberries. I love strawberries, don’t you?”  You knew you were rambling, but you had no idea why. This was now your house and you shouldn’t need excuses to be wandering the halls, no matter what time. You stood up straighter, prepared to tell the Captain as much should he say anything else. But he didn’t question you any further, instead he let out a low chuckle.  “You’re as far from the kitchen as it gets. It’s downstairs, and that’s quite a maze itself. But if you let me I could guide you back to your room and you could send someone to get you a snack.”  You had no idea what made you blush, his words or the sound of his laughter, but you felt your cheeks heat up and suddenly had the desire to pull the robe tighter around your body.  “I actually don’t want to bother anyone, the servants should be asleep by now and-”  “You really think they’re asleep already?”, he interrupted you. As soon as the words left his mouth his eyes darkened. “I’m sorry. I should not have interrupted you. Forgive me, your Grace.”  As much as you disliked Padmé calling you “your Grace” and “my lady” hearing the Captain apologize was worse.  “Please, feel free to interrupt me whenever I speak untruths. It’s a service, not an offense.”  He nodded, but didn’t say anything else. Neither did you for a moment.  “I still don’t want to inconvenience anyone. I will just go down to the kitchen and get a piece of bread or something. Perhaps you could point me in the right direction”, you finally said.  The blond looked at you with raised eyebrows. He seemed to be thinking about what to say.  “With all due respect, my lady, I don’t think you will find your way to the kitchen by yourself.” He stopped for a moment. “I could show you, if you want.”  “Lead the way, Captain”, you said with a relieved smile.  He didn’t lead the way, instead he walked right beside you, closer than he probably should. You kept glancing at him from the side. There was no denying that he was good looking, and nice as well, but he was just so stiff, as if he was afraid that putting a single toe out of line would get him punished.  “Is General Skywalker very strict?”, you asked after a while. Partly to break the silence, but partly because that would explain his constant apologizing.  For a millisecond the Captain stopped before he continued on his way.  “He’s not. He is a good man, a bit reckless at times, but we are lucky to serve under him.”  That statement only confirmed your suspicions. The General had not seemed strict, but rather kind, but what other explanation was there for the Captain’s behavior? Though maybe it was just in his character to be safe rather than sorry.  “Where are you from, Captain?”  From the corner of your eye you could see him raise an eyebrow.  “Kamino. It is a small village in the North.”  At first it seemed as if he wanted to add something, but he stayed silent and just kept walking. By now you were close to the entry hall again.  “Do you have family?”  As you walked through the entry way, which had better lighting, you could see more of his face. He was smiling, just a little bit, but there was a hint of sadness in his eyes that almost made you reach out to touch his arm. You had already lifted your hand when you realized that that would make the already inappropriate situation even worse.  “I have three brothers. Fives, Echo and Kix.”  The first name sounded familiar and made you remember the other guard you had seen yesterday.  “Fives is a guard as well, isn’t he?”  The Captain nodded. He finally stopped in front of a door you almost didn’t see, it was half hidden behind a statue and painted the same color as the wall. He opened it and let you pass through first.  You found yourself on top of a dark staircase, only a torch on the wall gave a bit of light. It was colder than in the main house, which made you wrap your robe tighter, and everything was stone, no carpets covering any of the surfaces. The Captain grabbed the torch and asked you to go on down the stairs.  “He is. Echo as well. Kix is studying to become a doctor, though, like our father.” His voice got more and more quiet with every word, letting you know his father was dead without ever saying the words.  “You must be proud of him. A cousin of mine studied medicine and told me how difficult it was.”  Since the blond was now behind you you couldn’t see his face, but you could swear you heard a smile in his voice.  “I am proud of all my brothers.”  Before you knew it you had reached the bottom of the stairs and a moment later the Captain was beside you again.  “Almost there”, he told you, to which your stomach responded with an embarrassingly loud growl.  The closer you got to the kitchen the stronger the smell of fresh bread and warm tea got.  Finally you stopped in front to the opened door to the largest kitchen you had ever seen. The room could probably fit a dozen cooks and three time as many kitchen maids, but right now there was only one present. A girl with her back to you stood in front of the last gleams of the oven fire and cut some fruits or vegetables.  “Ahsoka”, the Captain said.  The girl turned around. You could now see that she was pretty as well and started wondering whether everyone who lived and worked in this house was good looking.  “Rex and, oh my! You’re the new Duchess!”, she exclaimed and fell into a deep curtsy.  The look the Captain shot her had you imagining him with his brothers or disciplining guards.  “You were not out front when I arrived”, you told the girl.  Ahsoka shook her head before letting it hang low.  “You know how they say children should be seen and not heard? Turns out a kitchen maid should not even be seen. I mean, I understand that I’m not much to look at in this dirty dress and ugly apron, but it’s not my fault I only get old hand-me-downs from the other maids. I still think I should get to see my new employee, since Duchesses usually don’t visit the kitchen”, she said with a sly smile.  Next to you you felt the Captain stiffen, making you realize just how close you were standing to him. Though you blamed it on the cold, you had probably instinctively gotten closer to share body heat.  “Ahsoka, you shouldn’t s-”  “It’s fine, she’s right”, you interrupted the Captain before he could scold the girl without reason.  You stepped closer to her, farther from the man next to you.  “I was actually hoping to get a snack. I missed dinner, you see.”  Her eyes lit up.  “You want me to make you something to eat? No one ever wants me to make them something to eat.”  You weren’t sure if her words meant you should rethink your decision, but she was so eager you couldn’t help but nod.  “Why don’t you go over to the servants hall and I’ll bring you some food in a minute. And tea as well?”  You nodded once again, but before you could finish the motion Ahsoka was already preparing a plate. You felt the Captain’s hand on your arm, making you turn and face him. He was closer than ever before, so close you could feel his breath on your face. Slowly you closed your eyes, just for a short moment, before opening them again and looking right into his.  “Let’s sit down, Ahsoka will have your food ready soon.”  Without another word he lead you by the elbow, out of the kitchen and into a room just across the hall.  This room was darker and colder than the kitchen, no fire was burning and the space seemed sad and deserted.  “Usually it’s full of life, but everyone else is asleep. Thanks to you not showing up to dinner there was a lot less work”, the Captain explained. His tone was far more casual than a few minutes earlier, he seemed more relaxed.   Ahsoka entered the room before you could say anything, carrying a tablet with a steaming pot of tea, cups and a plate.  “I’m afraid the food is not the dinner you’re used to, my lady. This late there is often not much left”, she said as she sat the plate filled with bread, cheese and fruit in front of you.  Your eyes grew wider as you saw a couple of big, juicy strawberries and as if to tell you to eat them already your stomach growled once again. With a sly smile, hoping the others had not heard how desperate you were for food, you bit into the biggest strawberry. A loud moan escaped you and your face instantly blushed to match the fruit. If a growling stomach was something no one should hear, this sound was indefinitely worse. To your horror the Captain looked at you with wide eyes and even bit his lip, until he noticed you looking at him at least. Ahsoka, on the other hand, laughed.  “Seems like you love strawberries as much as Rex here. I remember one time last summer he came rushing into the kitchen because he could apparently smell the strawberry marmalade we were making all the way  from the stables. You should have seen the look on his face, it was-”, suddenly she interrupted mid sentence. She looked from Rex to you and back again, while you tried your best not to look at the Captain as well.  “I shouldn’t have said that, I’m sorry, my lady.”  She cast her eyes down as she started pouring a cup of tea, focused on the dark liquid in front of her.  It took you a moment to realize what she had just apologized for. Having been raised in a much smaller and poorer house as a lord’s daughter, not a duchess, you were used to talking with the servants, being friendly, even if you weren’t exactly friends.  “Please stop with the constant apologies, both of you. I’m glad to know more about the Captain and loving strawberries is nothing to be ashamed of. In fact, I am much worse than the Captain. When I was little I once escaped from my governess to go to a nearby strawberry field. I picked and ate strawberries for what felt like hours, until I fell asleep. By the time my father found me my white dress was stained pink and I later got sick because I ate so much. After that I wasn’t allowed any strawberries for a month.”  A smile grew on your face from the fond memory. It had been a good time, before the talk of balls and husbands had started.  The little story had lightened the mood, because Ahsoka went on to tell about that one time she had climbed a tree to get the biggest apple and then fallen, resulting in her breaking her leg. Even the Captain jumped in and told you about his first time falling off a horse.  You liked to know these little things about your servants, it made them more like people and less like employees. And you really enjoyed how Ahsoka’s voice changed throughout the story, it got louder and quieter, faster and slower, making you really feel what she must have felt in that moment. But the Captain was a whole other story. It wasn’t as much his voice that changed as his face. There was a light in his eyes and the corners of his lips, which you tried not to look at, lifted whenever he talked about his brothers. His chuckles made your insides turn warm and when his eyes landed on you you felt as if you were on fire. Though you didn’t know why he had that effect on you, you knew it was thrilling and comforting and dangerous, but mostly you knew you should ignore all of that, because it went beyond anything you should feel for the Captain of your husband’s guard.  Ahsoka was in the middle of telling a story about General Skywalker when low bells interrupted her.  “Shit, is it midnight already?”, she exclaimed.  Out of the corner of your eye you could see the Captain open his mouth, probably to scold the girl for her language, but before he could say anything you stood up.  “I should go. And you should get to bed, Ahsoka”, you said.  The girl nodded. She drowned the last of her tea, which must have been cold by now, and reached for the empty plate.  “I’ll clean this up and then I’ll go”, she told you. For a moment she halted in her movement and looked at you. “It was very nice meeting you, your Grace.”  There it was, the reminder that you had not just made friends, but were talking to your servants. No matter how good you thought you got along, you would never know whether they enjoyed your company or were just pretending in order to keep their jobs. And in that moment you wanted nothing more than to tell Ahsoka, tell the Captain, to call you (Y/N) and to let them know how much you had enjoyed the evening with them, but you knew you never could.  “Let me walk you back to your room, my lady”, the Captain said.  You just nodded, suddenly more tired then you were moments before.  “Good night, Ahsoka”, you said with a smile you hoped was kind rather than sad.  The two of you walked in silence. Though the way back was shorter, since you didn’t make any detours or got lost, it seemed to last an eternity. Finally you reached the top of the stairs and turned down a familiar hallway.  “I had a good time tonight”, you said as you were nearing your door.  It wasn’t until you actually stopped in front of said door that the Captain answered.  “Me too.” He paused to look at you. You felt his eyes wander from your disheveled hair to your eyes, your nose, your reddening cheeks and finally your lips. A strange tingling in your stomach caught your attention, but you decided to analyse that later. For now you were quiet happy standing in a dark hallway close to a handsome and kind man whose breath you could feel on your face. It smelled of the strawberries you had offered him earlier.  “You know it can never happen again, don’t you?”  You closed your eyes at his words. Though there was a new familiarity in the tone, and he hasn’t even used your title, they felt colder than anything he had said that night. Like a goodbye.  “I know it’s... I know it’s not exactly proper... But it’s not really improper either, is it? It’s not like we were alone, we had Ahsoka with us.”  As soon as the words left your mouth you realized that in that moment you were alone. Alone in a dark hallway and closer than you should be to any man who is not your husband.  You could feel the Captain taking a slow, deep breath. His hand brushed yours, whether accidentally or on purpose you couldn’t tell, and his eyes fluttered close for a moment.  The tingling intensified and you braced yourself for what was to come, though you weren’t sure what exactly that was. But then he took a step back.  “Please don’t make this harder than it needs to be.”  There was a new emotion in his eyes, one you couldn’t read but were convinced you never wanted to see again. “I’m sorry, I... I suppose... I guess I still need to adjust to all of this.” You lifted your hands and pointed down the corridor. “And you...”  You decided it was probably better to end your sentence there, you didn’t even know what you wanted to say, so instead you reached out your hand to open the door. You stepped inside your sitting room, still facing the man in front of you.  “Goodnight, Captain”, you said with a smile. He mirrored your smile, though it looked somehow sad on his face. When he didn’t say anything for a few seconds you started closing the door and it wasn’t until it was almost shut all the way that you heard him softly saying “Goodnight, (Y/N).”  With a sigh you leaned against the now closed door.  “Goodnight, Rex”, you whispered into the cold, dark, empty room. 

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Next Part

The idea for a Rex Regency Au just popped into my head and I had so much fun writing this.  More parts will definitely follow, I already have a rough idea of how I want everything to work out. Though I’m currently writing another Rex fanfiction and a second part for my Poe Dameron fanfiction as well, so I’m not sure how fast I’ll be...

[write4tomorrow]

Weakness

Word Count: 3366

Pairing: Sith!Obi-Wan Kenobi x Jedi!Reader

Summary: Master Kenobi fell from the Jedi order many years ago, but that doesn’t mean he hasn’t kept close tabs on the jedi order since. As Darth Dominus, he has recently discovered that he is part of a Force Dyad… with a jedi. How will he bring her to his side? 

Genre: Angst / Fluff

A/N: This is part two to this one shot I wrote, but can be read as just a one shot. Also, in this universe, Count Dooku has two apprentices. 

The only light in the dark conference room came from the blue hologram in Darth Dominus’ palm. He watched as the Jedi knight moved faster than he had seen any Jedi ever move. With two lightsabers, the wielder must be incredibly in tune with their surroundings and the force to fight without also hurting themselves. They had to be really good. The Jedi in Dominus' palm wasn’t just good, she was a master. 

Dominus scowled at his own thoughts. This girl was going to stop him from taking the republic for himself. He had seen it time and time again in his dreams and his meditations and the occasional vision. You were going to be his downfall. Your face plagued him like the lingering flavor of honey after a burning cup of coruscanti tea. So why couldn’t he stop staring at the hologram? Why couldn’t he bring himself to confront this inevitable downfall? 

Because it wasn’t inevitable. For every vision he saw of you turning against him, he saw another dream of you in beautiful crimson robes with a pair of red sabers to match. For every vision he saw of you standing against him, he saw another of you standing by his side. This was his curse, to be half of a dyad. 

He had been able to keep it well hidden. No one knew except you and him but that didn’t mean he liked it. How had he wound up the other half of a Jedi? His one weakness was you and he hated both you and himself for it. So why couldn’t he stop gazing at you on the hologram? Why couldn’t he stop himself from reaching out to you through the force? And why didn’t you ever respond? 

“Oh, Kenobi. You really can’t stop yourself, can you?” Darth Maul had crept into the room without Dominus noticing. He knew that using his jedi name would rattle him but Maul was always trying to rattle him. If only Dominus had been more aware of his own surroundings. He cursed Maul’s unnaturally quiet robotic legs and tried to deactivate the hologram. However, Maul used the force to pull the moving image of you out of Dominus’ grip. 

“She’s good,” Maul teased, “do you think she moves those hips like that when-”

In a flash Dominus had ignited his lightsaber and sliced the hologram peice in half, narrowly missing Maul’s hand. Unfazed, Darth Maul raised an eyebrow at the sudden outburst. 

“You’re distracted, and Tyrannus can tell.” At Maul’s words, Dominus’ face paled in the dark room. His saber was still drawn and he thought about taking his anger out on Maul. Instead, he tucked his saber back into his dark robe and ran a hand over his beard to calm himself. 

“I will speak with Tyrannus. Don’t worry about her,” Dominus tried to push past Maul to leave the room, but Maul stepped in his way. 

“Oh he knows about y/n,” Maul smiled as he said your name, “in fact, I came to tell you that he’s on his way to deal with her now.” Maul laughed as Dominus’s face lost all remaining color and the former Jedi left the room in a sprint. 

*******************************

Reconnaissance missions weren’t your specialty, but you always enjoyed stepping into an undercover role. You were attending a separatist gala as a senator’s liaison. The actual senator was still on his ship, a few miles above the planet’s atmosphere, dealing with a pesky cusom’s agent by the name of Anakin Skywalker. Ahsoka Tano had accompanied you to the gala in the hopes that two listening ears were better than just one. 

You hadn’t seen her in a few hours though and were beginning to worry. With your best smile, you excused yourself from the conversation with one of the banking clan members. 

“Ahsoka,” you hissed into your coms, “Where are you?” After a moment of static, you heard Anakin’s voice answer.

“Her com may have died,” Anakin sighed, “Besides, the lovely senator has decided to just go home so I don’t need to be up here anymore. I am going to come down to you guys and see if I can find her.” 

“Thanks, Anakin,” you whispered, “let me know if you find anything.” You felt a little better knowing that Anakin was on his way to you. You hadn’t realized it, but something was making you tense. Something felt wrong. 

You knew better than to ignore your intuition. If something felt wrong, something probably was wrong. You felt the weight of your sabers in the small purse around your shoulder. Protectively you used one hand to cover your purse and the other to grab your black skirt. Lifting your dress up just a little, you tried to quickly leave the room. Perhaps some air would help clear your head and you would be able to think of a plan. 

“There you are.” You stopped short as a body stepped into your way. With a quick glance up, you recognized the man. You had never met before, but Anakin and Ahsoka had told you many stories about Count Dooku. This was the man that talked Obi-Wan Kenobi into joining the separatists and the Sith. If Count Dooku was here, was Obi-Wan close as well? 

“I’m sorry, sir,” you feigned politeness, “I don’t think I know-”

“Don’t play dumb, girl,” Dooku countered, “besides, if you don’t know me, perhaps you know her?” Dooku pulled out a small screen from his pocket and showed an image of Ahsoka. Your heart sank. Ahsoka was bound by some of the heaviest handcuffs you’d ever seen. Two separatists droids were keeping her on her knees. 

“Take my arm and smile,” Dooku grinned as he spoke, “it’s an honor to finally meet you, y/n.” Without seeing another good option, you allowed yourself to be led out of the room. You hoped that Anakin would get here soon. 

Dooku didn’t speak while he led you away. As you walked, he wordlessly took the small bag from around your shoulders and tucked your lightsabers into his own jacket pocket. You tried to think of a good way out of your current situation, but the walk was over before you could think of anything. 

After a few short turns down increasingly reclusive hallways, Dooku pulled you into a storage room near one of the building’s exits. Upon seeing Ahsoka, you tried to move toward her, but Dooku pulled you back. 

“Tell us what you want, Dooku,” you tried to keep your voice calm, “so we can all be on our way.” 

“There is nothing you can do that I want,” Dooku said with a shrug. His eyes watched you for a reaction and you could tell he was expecting you to do something.

“Everybody wants something,” you returned, “and you’re talking to the best negotiator in the Jedi Order.” You did your best to match Dooku’s calm demeanor. He only smiled back at you.

“I’ve heard of your reputation as both negotiator and battle strategist,” Dooku glanced at Ahsoka, “but you’re going to have to do more than talk your way out of this one, dear Jedi.” 

“Give me my sabers, dear captor,” you offered, “and we can exchange more than words.” Dooku laughed and drew himself up to his fullest height.

“Clever girl with a silver tongue, no wonder he likes you.” At Dooku’s words, you froze. Was he talking about… no. You pushed the thought of Obi-Wan Kenobi from your mind. That man - that Sith - took up too much of your time already. Sometimes it felt like you couldn’t get him out of your head, no matter how hard you tried. Even when you slept or mediated, you saw visions of him. 

Even now, there was a nagging pull in your mind that usually meant he was trying to reach you. You closed your eyes, trying to push the feeling away. 

“My ship will be here soon,” Dooku continued, “and you will board it with me or Ahsoka will die in this room.” You looked down at Anakin’s apprentice and could feel the fear well up inside of her. There was defiance too and you smiled as Ahsoka shook her head. She was brave and you adored her for it. 

Please, please listen to me, You heard the familiar voice in your mind. It was Obi-Wan Kenobi and, just like you had time and time again, you tried to ignore him. Still, you felt him push harder than he ever had before.

Dooku is coming for you, y/n, Obi-Wan warned. 

Dooku has me. You answered without keeping the mirth from your voice. There was a pause from Obi-Wan. Perhaps it was his shock that you had answered him at all. After all, you had done your best to stay radio silent over the past several months. But now you were straining to keep his presence at bay and you could feel both Ahsoka and Dooku looking at you. You tried to fake a smile but you felt Obi-Wan pushing his way into your mind. 

I’m almost there, he said, be ready. He didn’t need to say more. You could feel him becoming stronger, closer. And you knew he meant to do something brash. 

“When do we leave?” You asked Dooku. 

“Y/n,” Ahsoka pleaded, “don’t do this.” Dooku nodded at the droid who took that as a signal to bring the end of a blaster down on Ahsoka’s head hard enough to make her cry out. You tried to push towards the padowan again, but Dooku pulled out his red saber and leveled it at your chest. 

“We leave now,” Dooku glared at you as you thought about retaliating. Quietly, you made your way out of the room, closely followed by the Sith Lord. His saber was no longer ignited but he kept it in his hand as an idol threat. You gave Ahsoka one last look before he closed the door on her and the two droids. 

“Follow me,” Dooku gestured toward the end of the hallway but you froze in your tracks. Standing in gorgeously dark robes at the end of the hall was none other than Obi-Wan Kenobi. You felt an overwhelming wave of something hopeful fill your chest. You wanted to run away from the Sith and you wanted to sprint toward him. 

Dooku seemed just as surprised as you felt. But in his surprise, you realized that this was your opportunity to act. Using the force, you pushed Dooku back against the wall and felt your lightsabers in his blazer pocket. But you also felt Ahsoka’s. You couldn’t grab all four sabers and you didn’t have time to think about it.

Dooku pushed you away from himself but you were faster than him. You dashed back to the room that Ahsoka was in. You threw open the door and used her saber to cut the restrains. You left her to free herself and hurried back to deal with the two Sith lords in the hallway. 

To your horror, Obi-Wan was waiting for you. He angrily launched a flurry of strikes towards you. Is he here to save you or kill you? You didn’t have a chance to ask him. Without a weapon, you were playing defense and he was merciless in his attack. 

Run, Obi-Wan’s voice rang in your head, you were supposed to run. Obi-Wan pushed you farther away from Dooku with his attacks. You understood then that Obi-Wan was trying to help you. Over Obi-Wan’s shoulder, you saw that Ahsoka had escaped the droids and was running towards Dooku. Even if you wanted to run, you couldn’t leave Ahsoka. Not to mention, Dooku still had your sabers. You tried to get around Obi-Wan. You needed to find some way to help Ahsoka. 

Obi-Wan pushed you around a corner, out of sight from Dooku and Ahsoka. You suddenly realized that he was steering you someplace. 

“What are you doing?” You halted, hoping that the Sith lord before you wouldn’t strike you down. Just as you hoped, Obi-Wan turned his lightsaber off. But not even a breath later, he shoved you against the wall. Not with the force. No, with his bare hands, Obi-Wan held you in place against the wall. He spoke in shallow breaths that were somewhere between fury and desperation. 

“Dooku will kill you,” He was so close his breath was mixing with your own. “If you don’t get out of here, he’ll… I’ll be forced to…” 

“Why don’t you let me go, and I’ll just kill you both instead?” You tried to break Obi-Wan’s grip on you but he held strong. 

“Stop joking around.” Obi pleaded.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t wear the right dress for surrendering.” You offered with an eye roll. Obi-Wan looked at your dress then and you saw the corners of his mouth turn up in the smallest smile.

“Darling, that dress fits you perfectly. Even if it didn’t, I’d find a million new dresses for you if you just come with me.” Obi-Wan’s eyes took a second to linger before looking back into your own. 

“Obi-Wan-” you began, but he cut you off.

“Come with me, willingly. Come with me and I can tell Dooku that I will train you. You and I will rule the galaxy.” Obi-Wan’s voice was softer now, pleading. 

“I can’t,” You began, but you wouldn’t let him know how much you wanted to, “I would rather be tortured as your Jedi captive than live as your pet.” 

“There’s no way out of this! You come with us or- you have to come with me or I will have to kill you,” Obi-Wan’s voice cracked. You looked at his face and you could feel the turmoil in him.

“You don’t have to kill me-” 

“I won’t let him hurt you!” Obi-Wan’s voice was strained and his words seemed to come out against his will, “I’ll kill you before I let him have you, y/n.” 

“You don’t have to kill me, Obi-Wan.” your voice was just a whisper and something in Obi-Wan’s expression softened. This man in front of you seemed so desperate and you couldn’t tell why. Before he could say anything else, you heard Ahsoka cry out from the other hallway. You need to get to the padowan.

Obi-Wan seemed to sense your apprehension. He registered Ahsoka for the first time and released you. He cursed under his breath and turned his attention away from you for the briefest moment. He ran back into the alley with Dooku and Ahsoka with you close on his heels. You watched as he used the force to pick up the padawan and hurled her towards the hallway’s opposite exit. You took that as an opportunity to attack Obi-Wan. You didn’t want to harm him, but you needed to get out of here. You used the force to push Obi-Wan away from you in an attempt to clear an escape route. He fell to the side but before you could run, you felt an overwhelming pressure around your throat. 

It was Dooku. Now that Ahsoka wasn’t here to distract him, he had turned his attention towards you and Obi-Wan. He tightened his invisible grip around your throat enough to make you gasp for air but not enough to fully suffocate you. You couldn’t help but admire how terribly effective it was. 

“Darth Dominus,” Dooku strolled toward the pair of you, “I am surprised to see you here.” Obi-Wan rose to his feet and straightened his robes. He ran a hand through his golden hair. 

“I heard you were going after Master y/n,” Obi-Wan said, “I wanted to help.” Obi-Wan looked over at you as you struggled to take in breath. His eyes were the best shade of gold and there was a warmth behind them that took your breath away more effectively than Dooku could imagine. 

“Be mindful of your thoughts, Dominus,” Dooku chided. He turned to you and slowly pulled you off your feet. The pressure around your throat constricted too much. You saw spots in the air and blackness began to close in on your vision. 

As he dropped you, the sound of Dooku laughing filled the hallway. Obi-Wan had dropped to a knee in front of his master. He must have said something to Dooku while you were fighting for breath. 

“So it seems, my apprentice, you are half of a dyad.” Dooku gave Obi-Wan a dark smile, “I’ve suspected it for some time now. I hear you calling to her in the dark nights when you should be sleeping.” You and Obi-Wan exchanged looks, but it was too late. The secret was out. 

“The two of you together will be the most powerful weapons in the whole galaxy,” Dooku kelt in front of you and grabbed your jaw. Obi-Wan quickly stood from his keeling position. 

“Relax, my apprentice. I’ll have you both alive and whole. Together we will help Darth Sideous-” Dooku was cut off by a cry from the hallway. Obi-Wan, Dooku and you turned to see Anakin and Ahsoka standing at the other end of the hallway. You smiled from ear to ear and knew that this was your chance. Just as you had done earlier for Ahsoka’s sabers, you reached into Dooku’s jacket pocket and retrieved your lightsabers. You ignited both and began an attack on Dooku. 

Anakin and Ahsoka rushed to your side. But Anakin froze as he locked eyes with Obi-Wan. The two men looked at one another. Master and apprentice was a bond that stayed with someone for life and you could see pain written on both of their faces. 

Even though Anakin was distracted, you were able to push Dooku far enough against a wall to make a run towards the exit. Ahsoka ran after you and Anakin began to follow after a silent nod at his old master. 

“Darth Dominus,” Dooku said loud enough for you to hear, “do you think she cares for you the same way you care for her?” Your blood turned to ice as you doubled back to see Dooku stand and turn on his apprentice. 

Before you could do anything, Dooku used force lightning on Obi-Wan. His scream filled the hall ways and before you knew what you were doing, you were running back to help him. You didn’t make it far though. Both Ahsoka and Anakin grabbed you and dragged you back. They were probably talking to you but you couldn’t hear them. The only sound you could hear was Obi-Wan’s screams. 

A weak voice pushed its way into your mind. Run was all it said. You knew Obi-Wan was telling you to go. You knew that Dooku was setting a trap, but you couldn’t just leave him. You hated yourself for it, but you couldn’t just leave. 

It didn’t matter. Anakin and Ahsoka dragged you away before you could do anything else. 

*******************************

“What were you thinking,” Ahsoka was astonished, “going back to help a sith lord?” You were aboard a small ship heading back to the Jedi temple. Anakin and Ahsoka had done a full medical test on you just to make sure you were okay before they began their own version of an interrogation. You barely had a chance to speak over the two. 

“You almost- I mean, I miss Obi-Wan, but the man I knew is dead,” Anakin seemed almost angry, “And what did Count Dooku mean, ‘does she care for you’?”

“Do you know what a dyad in the force is?” you finally asked. Anakin immediately went quiet and Ahsoka gasped. Ah, so they did know. 

“You’re not- no, no way,” Ahsoka said in a hushed voice. She didn’t believe it and to be honest, you didn’t want to believe it either. All you could do was nod. You had been able to keep it well hidden. No one knew except you and him but that didn’t mean you liked it. How had you wound up the other half of a Sith? His one weakness was you and yours was him. You could feel how much you hated him and yourself for it. So why couldn’t you stop thinking about him and wondering if he was okay? Why couldn’t he stop himself from reaching out to you through the force? And why couldn’t you ever bring yourself to respond? 

“I need to tell the Council when we get back,” was all you said. Anakin and Ahsoka stayed silent, the weight of this news sitting heavily on their shoulders. 

The faintest voice filled your mind then. You really did look good in that dress. For our next date, try blue.

Before you could stop yourself, you smiled. He was alive and he was okay. Well, okay enough to be snarky. And that was enough for you. You looked up and saw Anakin watching you. 

“I’m so sorry, y/n,” was all Anakin could say. 

 A/N: Hi! I really like Sith Obi-Wan. I’m tagging people who asked to be tagged and who also asked if there would be a follow up to my last fic. Sorry I didn’t answer you, but I figured a part two was better than an answer. Anyway, thank you for reading! @emmamikaelson95 @fandom-lover-4 @mellowstatesmanhandsempath��@good-night-starlight 

[tommysparker]

Never Forget You [Chapter 4]

A/N: hey y’all. just wanna say sorry for the posting schedule change. life is about to get hella hectic with school and the move sooo yeah. every second Saturday I will be posting! it’ll defiantly give me a chance to write more as well so im not rushing out chapters. anyways ive rambled long enough, enjoy :) 

Warnings: angst. theres fluff too but its fluffy angst?? im not sorry hehe. long italic paragraphs = flashbacks. 

From an outside perspective, one would assume the four of them were deep in thought, perhaps even communicating telepathically via the Force. They would only be half correct, as all of the Jedi were indeed thinking, but none of their trains of thought overlapped.  

Anakin and Ahoska were in the pilot seats, glancing at each other every other minute or so. They could feel the tension build thicker with every passing planet. The only sound filling the room was the faint running of the engine that kept the ship moving. 

You and Obi-Wan sat across from each other, neither one daring to make eye contact. Apparently, he was quite serious about the “not speaking from now on” agreement. It’s for the best, you kept telling yourself. However, the awkward silence that filled the ship made it harder to believe that. 

Out of all the things that could happen to you at the moment, this was by far the worst. 

On Gyfil, you had grown quite used to the sound of silence. In fact, over time you began to prefer it as opposed to the buzz of the towns. However, this was a different type of silence, one that had you bouncing your knee in anticipation for Anakin to announce you finally landed. 

Master Yoda had called you all for a mission briefing. There was a supposed Separatist group meeting on Ostor, given the intel you received from a client on your previous mission. The four of you were sent to listen in on it. 

“Young Skywalker and Padawan Tano, back up you will be. Great risks on Ostor, there are. Careful, you must be.” He turned to Obi-Wan and You. “Master Y/l/n, guide them you must do. In charge of the mission, I am putting you.” 

A sense of pride filled your body but you quickly humbled yourself. “Thank you Master.” 

Master Yoda smiled and turned to Obi-Wan. “Infiltrate the meeting, you and Master Y/l/n will. Stay together, you must.” 

Obi-Wan would have laughed at the irony. Mentally he still is. Stay together, you must. After the last conversation between the two of you, he had doubts about how that plan would go. However, for the sake of the mission he was willing to lift the deal made. 

You stood quietly, not being able to handle the loud silence any longer. “I’ll be in my quarters until we land,” you announced, making a point not to look at Obi-Wan and keep all attention to Anakin and Ahsoka. 

You left without sparing a glance back. 

He waited until you were out of view to let out a long sigh, running a hand over his beard and hunching forward. 

Anakin was the first to speak. “That was the worst thing I’ve ever had to endure.” His shoulders shook as he made a disgusted sound. “Glad it’s finally over.” 

“Just focus on getting us there in one piece, Anakin,” Obi-Wan snapped, immediately followed by, “apologizes, I didn’t mean to sound so...aggressive.” 

“So much for being able to hide stress, huh?” 

He smiled but it didn’t reach his eyes. “Some things are harder to deal with than others.” 

“Is Master Y/l/n ‘some things’?” Ahoska asked innocently. 

Obi-Wan pondered for a minute, deciding the best way to answer. “Master Y/l/n is...many things.” 

“Like what?” 

Gorgeous. Strong. Kind. Perfect in every way. “They are highly skilled, almost as well as I am, if not better. A fine Jedi and a valuable member to the Order.” He stopped there before he’d say something he’d come to regret. Best to keep professional thoughts. 

“I still don’t understand why the Council sent them away like that. Surely there were other Jedi that could have completed the mission,” Anakin commented. He knew his former Master wasn’t satisfied with the answer they were all given but would never admit it. He had to push him to find the truth. 

“Whatever reasons Master Yoda and Master Windu had for picking Y/n are between them. You must stop questioning the Council’s intentions, Anakin. It will land you in very big trouble one day.” Obi-Wan says as if he hasn’t second guessed the Order as a whole before. Ignorance is bliss, as they say. The less you question things, the easier life is. 

“That’s why I keep you around, old man,” Anakin said in a teasing manner. Hearing Obi-Wan let out a light chuckle made him feel a bit better as they settled into silence once more, this time more comfortable and light-hearted. 

A bit more time had passed before Ahsoka spoke up. “Why don’t you ask Master Y/l/n what really happened?” 

Obi-Wan sighed. He should have known better than to believe she would drop the topic. Like Master, like Padawan. “It’s none of my business. Frankly, it’s none of ours so I suggest we leave the subject alone.” 

His answer, apparently, wasn’t good enough. “I’m gonna go ask them.” Ahsoka stands up to leave but is stopped mid-movement by Obi-Wan’s protests. 

“No!” He looked at Ahsoka’s slightly stunned face, and chose to ignore Anakin’s smug look. “Fine, I’ll ask them. But only once, and if they don’t want to indulge me then that is the end of it. Do I make myself clear?” 

“Crystal.” 

Meanwhile, you sat alone on the bed in your chosen quarters. It made you feel relaxed, in a way. Before leaving, you were extremely extraverted, always going out of your way to make acquaintances with everyone around you. The life forces around you at night kept you alive, it gave a sense of warmth and comfort to lull you to slumber. On Gyfil, there was none of that. You had to rely on your own warmth to comfort yourself to sleep. No lush trees or animals to provide even the smallest bit of connection. It was just You and the Force. Sleeping for the first time in the Jedi Temple after returning felt like a sensory overload. Everything was loud, and rough. You could feel it coursing through your veins at the speed of light. No matter what you did, it was too much. 

You didn’t sleep the first few days. Eventually you got used to the noise, but not enough to get a decent amount of rest at night. There was one sound that sometimes made it impossible to sleep, one Force signature that kept trying to break through the walls you put up to protect yourself when you’re most vulnerable. What scared you the most was the fact your own signature subconsciously fought back against the walls you put. You refused to acknowledge it, choosing to fall into a deep meditative slumber and stay alert as opposed to any actual sleep. Whoever it was would not get into your head so easily. 

Knock knock. Obi-Wan stepped into the room once his presence was made known, gently shutting the door behind him. “Y/n…” 

You looked up and squinted at him. “I thought we agreed to not speak?” 

“Yes, well, that proves to be a bit tricky now doesn’t it?” He smiled tightly and crossed his arms over his chest. 

You huffed out air in a sorry attempt at a sarcastic laugh, shaking your head a little. “What do you want, Obi-Wan?” 

It was neither hostile nor endearing. It was simply his first name. To him you sounded tired, and judging by the way you sat on the cot, leaning back against the cold metal wall with your eyes half opened, he presumed his assumption was correct. He spoke gently, “Anakin estimates we should be coming out of hyperspace and landing soon.” 

“I figured.” It wasn’t your intention to be stoic but that's how you’ve been training yourself to speak to the man in front of you. The faster the conversation ends, the faster he leaves. 

Obi-Wan, however, was not having it. “How are you feeling? I know it hasn’t been that long since you returned from your previous assignment.” 

You shrugged, staring up at the ceiling. “I’m fine.” 

“No one who says that is ever truly ‘fine’ Y/n/n,” he says, taking a step closer to the bed. “I know you. What’s on your mind, darling?” 

You slowly met his gaze, debating whether to open up or keep yourself closed off. On one hand, the idea of exposing your anxieties to someone didn’t feel right to you, letting someone know about your weaknesses and insecurities. However, you knew in order for the mission to succeed you would have to be willing to work with Obi-Wan and to do that a sense of trust had to be built. Rebuilt, technically. 

“If you wish not to speak, I understand.” He hesitated turning his back to you, “excuse me.” He was about to make his leave before you interrupted. 

“Obi-Wan, wait,” You sighed, shifting so there was room for him to sit on the bed. “Sit.” 

He did as he was told, eyeing you carefully. “Honestly, I don’t mean to pry.” 

“It’s fine.” You knew his intentions and as pure as they were you cannot bring yourself to tell him the truth. “I admit that I...am slightly concerned about the mission.” 

It wasn’t the answer Obi-Wan was hoping for, but he was willing to hear anything he could get out of you. “You have nothing to be worried about Y/n/n. You’re an extremely capable Jedi and I have no doubt in my mind you will lead us through it.” 

You smiled, only slightly but a smile nonetheless. “Thank you.” 

“You’re welcome.” He smiled back. 

Your eyes locked tight with each other, and everything around you became emptiness. A void surrounded you both and the presence of the other was all that could be felt. 

“Staring competitions are pointless.” You rolled your eyes, sitting up straight and attempting to return your meditative state. 

“No they aren’t!: Obi-Wan argued from his spot across from you. 

“All you do is stare at each other until someone blinks. Waste of time.” 

“Nuh uh. Master Qui-Gon told me that--” Obi-Wan stood up, “--‘The eyes are a window to the soul’--” you laughed at the bad attempt he made to mimic his Master;s voice, “--therefore staring competitions can be a very good battle tactic.” 

“Jedi don’t do battles, remember? We’re peacekeepers.” You looked up at your friend. “Besides, you just want an excuse to get lost in my eyes.” 

Obi-Wan grinned. “You know me so well.” 

So much has changed about the man in front of you, you could hardly recognize him. You never allowed yourself the pleasure to examine what you missed out on. One moment he was a young man who looked like he could take on the universe, and now all you could see was one tired man doing his best. Oh, how the mighty have fallen, is what the old You would have teased. But post-living-ten-years-by-yourself You was different. In a way, you understood. Although you didn’t fight any life-threatening battles and put yourself in the line of fire every week, you have worked tirelessly towards the same goal. 

Peace. 

Like this moment. 

For once, it was quiet. You felt yourself relax slowly, focusing on the one noise that soothed your anxious mind. It felt warm and...close. Something you haven’t felt in a long, long time. 

Obi-Wan leaned closer, his heart reacting faster than his brain. He felt a warmth he had been longing for over a decade. When he reached out, he no longer felt desolate. He wanted to hold on to the feeling and never let go. 

But alas in time of war, small moments of peace only last for so long. 

“Hey! We’re here.”  

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[labyrinthof-fan-fiction]

Matters of Importance Part 5: The Halls of Healing

Series Masterlist

A/N: Updates take so long because it takes me forever to phrase statements for Yoda. I started watching Clone Wars and got a serious amount of inspiration and I’m going to run with it. Last part got a lot of attention, if you want to be added to a taglist for this one just send me an ask!

Warnings: I went dark with this. PTSD, Night Terrors, Mentions of Torture, Panic Attack

Summary: After Oosalon, you return to the Jedi Temple to heal. Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon return, Obi-Wan at your side as you heal. Qui-Gon contemplates just what the connection between you and his apprentice entails, with Master Windu and Yoda.

Rating: M

Word Count: 3,312

You woke up in the Halls of Healing, a medical droid hovered over you. You squinted at the white light that illuminated the room. A thin sheet covered your body, you winced at your torso, the Bacta had healed the wounds, but you could see the scars that remained. Bacta could erase them forever, but the Order left scars behind, as a reminder.

“You are awake, that is good.” A voice stated at your side, you glanced over to see Master Yoda floating in his pod at your bedside.

“Master…” You started, but flinched when you tried to sit up.

“No need, for that. Heal, you must.” Yoda stated, tutting when you tried to push yourself up again. You sighed and laid back down. “Alert the others, I will.” Yoda murmured, floating to the door. He paused for a moment. “Send in, Kenobi, I will.”

The door slid open and your eyes met Obi-Wan’s as he bowed to the Jedi Master before closing the distance between you in a few strides. It had been a while since you last saw him, years of missions had kept you from seeing each other. He was taller and broader in his shoulders. His hair still short, his Padawan braid over his shoulder. He smiled in greeting, his blue eyes meeting yours.

He scanned the length of your body, you knew he had seen everything that had happened, but the heat still rose in your cheeks. His eyes returned to yours, “You’ve looked better.” He joked as he sat in the chair next to your bed.

“The same could be said for you.” You retorted with a smile on your face.

He reached out to you with the Force, I was worried. He murmured in your mind. “Master Yoda refused to let anyone but himself be with you.”

You hummed in response, while unconscious you had sensed the Master. His presence could not go unnoticed once he tethered himself to your mind. You had felt the darkness creeping through the cracks that had resulted from Guattako’s treatment. You had hidden inside your mind, making yourself as small as possible, but Master Yoda had reached you. Come back, you must. Finished, you are not. His voice had echoed, bringing you back from the area you had shrouded yourself. Shadows still lingered, but they were not suffocating the light inside. A small part of you worried about the Master wandering through your mind, what had he seen?

“I’m glad you’re safe.” Obi stated, drawing you from your thoughts.

You smiled at him. “It’s been a while since I saw you, almost forgot what you looked like.”

He chuckled, “Take it all in.” He threw his arms out and gave you a wink. He started spinning tales of his missions with Qui-Gon, all but Mandalore. You listened as the light from the windows faded form the sun to the lights of the city. Speeders raced by the windows, carrying their passengers to the latest Coruscant night life. The dull roar of the city calmed you. Your eyes started to feel heavy as Obi-Wan detailed the latest mission, he stopped when a yawn escaped your lips.

“I know, I’ve been sleeping for days, why do I need sleep.” You muttered.

“I wasn’t going to say that.” He retorted, looking slightly offended, before taking in the sight of you on the bed before him. “But I should leave you to sleep. You went through a lot.” Obi pushed himself up from the chair. “Good night.”

Thank you. You sent to him.

He turned back at the door. Anytime.

You closed your eyes when his form disappeared into the dark halls of the Temple. Drifting to sleep was easy, but being fully in your mind, was difficult. For a few hours you were in a dreamless sleep, then the dreams began.

Guattako’s voice entered first. “Saber.” He snarled, and a pale yellow light ignited as it got closer, the blade of your saber glowed red. You tried to retreat from the blade, but it advanced and was thrust into your torso. You felt the burn grow in your center.

A dark chuckle distracted you for a moment, Guattako’s mask floated before you. “Would you die for the Jedi Order?” The disembodied mask chanted.

Obi-Wan awoke to panic tightening his chest. He glanced around his quarters, hand reaching for the saber on his nightstand. Then he realized, the panic was coming from you. He pulled on a pair of pants and started running to the Halls of Healing, his bare footsteps echoing in the empty Temple. You’re safe. He urged through the connection, but he could feel it bounce back to him.

Energy crackled as he walked into the room, you were thrashing in the bed, lightning dancing on your fingertips. A medical droid was attempting to subdue you, but you pushed it across the room into the wall. It whirred as the light faded from its eyes. I’m here, it’s me. He stated tentatively, approaching your bed. The hairs on the back of his neck stood up as he reached your bedside.

I’m here. He stated firmly, reaching out to you in the Force. He felt the panic rolling off you in waves, pushing him away from your mind. He glanced at the lightning that flashed in your hands, he steeled himself and sat on the bed, ignoring the pulsing energy and gripping your hands. He was surprised for a moment as the lightning felt like nothing against his skin. It’s me. He pressed into your mind and images began to flash through the connection. Guattako torturing you, your saber igniting then pressing into your flesh, the warlord’s mask taunting you. You are safe, he can’t hurt you. You’re in the Temple.

Fear still ebbed from you as a whimper fell from your lips. He felt you reach out to him, Obi?

He sighed in relief. I’m here, come back. He glanced down at you and your eyes opened and met his, before tears flooded them. For years, he would be haunted by the pure terror that stared at him that night. He pulled you into his chest as the tears began to flow. “I’ve got you, you’re safe.” He whispered into your hair as sobs echoed in the hall.

His eyes were drawn to the doorway where three forms watched the exchange, he kept his arms wrapped tightly around you and there was no missing the challenge in his eyes as he stared at them. His Master bowed his head in his direction before turning away, Windu and Yoda fell into step with him. The three Masters had locked themselves in conversation upon your awakening. Leaving the two apprentices alone in the Halls of Healing.

“Curious, the connection between the two.” Yoda murmured.

“I wonder if we made a mistake, separating them for training, for missions.” Windu responded, eyes focused on Qui-Gon.

“And what would have happened if we trained them together?” Qui-Gon asked. “What would they become together?”

“Valid, both points.” Yoda stated, glancing between the two Masters before him. He first turned to Qui-Gon. “Delay, your missions, we shall. Train together, they must.”

Windu’s eyes widened slightly. “And if their power is too great?”

Yoda’s eyes crinkled as he smiled. “A problem, I think it will not be. Light, I sense in them. Together, the light grows.”

After one more day in the Halls of Healing, the medical droid allowed for your release. Obi-Wan appeared the moment the announcement was made. He walked you to your quarters, you deposited your things and turned to him.

“Thank you, for the company.” You said, a small smile on your face.

He returned the smile. “How about a walk? You’ve been stuck in the Hall of Healing so long, some time out of a room might do you good.”

You nodded silence fell between you as you walked in step with Obi as he lead you through the halls to the Temple Rock Garden.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t hold it back. The pain.” You murmured to Obi as you entered the Garden. Padawans littered the area, lifting rocks as their Masters corrected their form. A small green being held out their hand and floated another stone to a pile that was at least six times their height. You sat at one of the benches before the Reflection Pool, you glanced down at yourself in the smooth water. To most, you looked the same as you always had, but your eyes were weary, tired, and you could see the fear that you tried to bury deep inside yourself mirrored back to you.

“You have nothing to apologize for.” He answered as he helped you to sit on one of the benches. “You can’t always control what the connection sends. Or what we might see through it.”

You chuckled, “We are entitled to our secrets though.”

Obi returned the laugh. “I suppose that was just a moment of youthful ignorance.”

“Youthful ignorance, are you now a wise adult at twenty-three?”

He glanced at you for a moment. “I hope, wiser than I was at seventeen.” He stated as a grin spread across his face.

“I think Master Qui-Gon would echo that sentiment.”

Obi pinched the bridge of his nose. “I was a handful. Especially on Mandalore.” He glanced down at his hands and sighed. “I think, with this connection, secrets are dangerous, especially when connected to emotion.” He paused and looked over to you.

You considered his words for a moment, guilt still heavy on your heart. “Emotion does pass through, and pain.”

Obi reached over and took your hand in his. “I do not blame you for what I felt. Had I the power, I would have taken it all from you. I saw what happened, a viewer of both what was happening to you and your thoughts. You don’t need to apologize for that. ”

You squeezed his hand.

He sighed, glancing at your entwined hands. “I want to tell you about what happened on Mandalore.”

Your eyes flicked to his face. “Obi, you don’t have to.”

“I know, but I want to tell you.” He replied earnestly, he paused for a moment, to give you a final chance to say something, then he began the story. “We were sent to protect the Duchess, Satine Kryze. Groups had amassed to overthrow her rule, as a pacifist, she threatened the history of the planet. They sent bounty hunters after us and we had to go into hiding. Satine is a strong woman, I think you both would get along.” He smiled. “Probably too well, it would be a danger to my existence if the two of you were in the same sector, let alone planet. The year on the run and getting to know her, I realized that I was glad of the duty to protect her. I would give my life to save her, because I love her.”

His grip on your hand tightened for a moment, his brow was furrowed as he framed his next statements. “We’ve been in the Jedi Order since we were children. I remember the lectures about attachments and how they lead to the dark side. And then you came along, this connection, and we were trained to maintain this connection to each other. This attachment did not lead to the dark side. Then, I met her, and what I feel, felt, for her, I only felt the light side of the Force.” He took a deep breath. “I tried to stifle the connection between us, because I was afraid that if you knew my feelings for her…. I don’t know what I was afraid of. Losing you, losing her, losing my place here. I wasn’t thinking.”

You chewed on your lip. “I wouldn’t have said anything.”

“I know,” He smiled, you could see the sadness in his eyes. “I decided when Satine was returned to the throne, that I would continue on my path to becoming a Jedi. So Master and I left Mandalore.”

You took in the sight of the young man beside you. There was turmoil brewing in the Force as the connection pulled his emotions to the surface between you. You still love her. You observed.

He sighed. I do, I think I always will. He tilted his head back to glance up at the sky.

I wouldn’t have said anything if you had stayed with her. You watched as he returned his gaze to yours, his eyes softened.

Thank you.

You were drawn from your conversation by Master Windu and Qui-Gon approaching you. You both dropped the other’s hand quickly and turned to your Masters. Windu stared at your face for a moment. Qui-Gon glanced between both of you, his eyes squinted.

“Master Yoda believes that it would benefit you to train together for a few months.” Windu stated, breaking the awkward silence that had developed between the four of you.

Your eyes widened. “What about the missions?” You asked, Obi’s eyes were on you.

“Missions can wait a few months.” Qui-Gon stated, eyes fixed on his apprentice. “We start your training tomorrow.” Qui-Gon tilted his head and then turned on his heel. Obi-Wan stood and followed his Master, he glanced back.

See you tomorrow.

Silence hung in the air as your Master sat in Obi’s abandoned space. He stared into the pool. “You don’t have your saber.” He stated simply.

You reached at your hip and realized he was right, you had left it in your quarters. “I forgot.” I mumbled.

Master Windu’s eyes narrowed. “You’ve never forgotten your saber.” He stated simply.

“There’s a first time for everything.” You tried to state nonchalantly.

And that was the first time, but not the last. You had spent a week in the Temple, your saber had remained in your quarters. It wasn’t uncommon for a Jedi to roam the Temple without their saber on their hip, but it was far from the normal practice, particularly for a Palawan who was to prove themselves to the Council. You continued to be drawn back to the Garden, there was peace being surrounded by the small oasis the Jedi had created. The grass a far cry from the rocks of Oosalon. You were still waking to nightmares of Guattako standing over you, sometimes you joined him, others your saber connected with your body, dealing the final blow. Obi-Wan appeared each night when you woke in a cold sweat. After a particularly grueling night of terrors, you wandered into the garden before the sun rose in Coruscant. The lights of the city almost illuminated the planet, but they lacked the comforting warmth of the sun’s rays.

You rubbed your eyes and sat next to the pond, watching the assorted aquatic creatures mill about under the water’s surface. Your mind was momentarily distracted as you wondered at the multitude of species living in harmony. Perhaps a Jedi Mind Trick kept the creatures from killing each other. Perhaps they had become attuned with the Force after living inside the Temple for so long. You were pulled from your musings by the sound of a soft footfall. You glanced up to see Master Windu approaching, there were dark circles under his eyes. You worried you were causing them, while Obi-Wan was always present to pull you from the terrors gripping you in sleep, there was always another form that hovered in your doorway. He approached and sat next to you on the bench.

Master Windu pulled your saber from under his robes. You hesitated when you reached for it. Windu’s gaze softened for a second, “It is not the saber, but the wielder who is to blame for the actions.”

You nodded and slowly took your saber from his hands. You felt a wash of cold spread through you, you shivered and clipped the hilt to your belt.

“Perhaps some time in the Spire would help.” Windu offered, then turned to gaze into the pool.

In that moment you realized the Spire was not a suggestion. You stood and began to walk to the Spire, you rode the lift up, mind wandering to what Obi-Wan had told you. Love was a foreign concept to you, well romantic love. In your trainings you were taught of compassion, a kind of love. As a Jedi, you believed that all life was important and to be respected. A Jedi was to care for every being in the galaxy, and dedicate themselves to helping to create a better life for all. Romantic love, that was forbidden, it lead to feelings of possession. When love was mingled with possession, it took away free will. But what you had sensed from Obi did not feel like the Masters had described. Obi had radiated love for the Duchess, love that yes, he would have laid down his life for, but also a love that he left, because that was what was best for more. A greater good.

You were alone in one of the many meditation chambers of the Tranquility Spire, your lightsaber at your hip. It had been a comfort, feeling the weight of the weapon, but now you felt unsteady as the hilt bounced with your steps. The weapon that denoted your title of Jedi, a piece of the most honored history, felt like a black mark on your existence.

You sighed and sat on the floor, crossing your legs into a lotus position. You detached the hilt from your belt and set it on the ground in front of you. You closed your eyes and let yourself drift into the Force, you reached your hand out to lock your signature onto your saber. For years, it had responded readily to your needs, but now, it fought against you, reluctant to respond to your will. You grunted in frustration and pushed more of your power toward the weapon, you heard a crack and opened your eyes, your saber floated around you in parts. You eyes were torn away from the mechanical parts to the Kyber crystal, pale yellow light glowing in the center of the room. You pulled it closer and felt a thrumming energy, you reached out and touched the floating crystal.

Do you see it? The clouding? A voice whispered in your mind, you recognized that voice. It was from the cave all those years ago. Do you feel the darkness?

You tentatively reached out to it, feeling the cold you had felt when you were young. Who are you?

A chuckle filled your mind. In due time, you will know who I am.

You growled, taking a closer look at the crystal. It was clouded, like a shadow had emerged from the depths. Kyber crystals were naturally attuned to the light side of the Force. You knew little about how Sith wielded them You pushed into the crystal’s Force, searching for the darkness. You hooked it and began to pull it, you continued pulling at the darkness until a shadow formed next to your crystal, which glowed brighter than before. You encased the shadow in your Force energy and brought it close for inspection. You were curious, had Guattako’s use of your blade tainted the crystal? What had caused the darkness?

You closed the energy around the shadows and they dissipated. Your saber still floated in separate parts, you closed your eyes and began reconstructing your saber. You opened your eyes and the reconstructed hilt floated before you. You reached out and wrapped your hand around it. The voice did not reappear, and your blade thrummed with familiar energy. You pressed down with your thumb and the pale yellow blade ignited. You smiled, feeling the peaceful energy you were used to with your saber.