#how he regresses back into a small child while talking to his father in the way that he pleads and whines to get his way

[theoryofwhatnow]

if i had it my way, the only thing i would ever draw is alex and nigel cuddling

[hotdaemondtargaryen]

TOM GLYNN-CARNEY INTERVIEWED BY AV CLUB MAGAZINE.

KNOWING WHAT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN TO AEGON IN EPISODES FOUR AND FIVE, HOW DID YOU WANT TO PLAY UP HIS STATE OF MIND BEFORE HE DECIDES TO RIDE ON SUNFYRE STRAIGHT INTO BATTLE? WHAT WERE THE CONFLICTING EMOTIONS YOU WANTED TO TAKE THE TIME TO DEPICT?

"I think the focus was to show he’s pushed to the limit in a way he hasn’t before."

"He’d just been painfully reminded about his biggest insecurity of being seen as weak and useless."

"Alicent said that to him in no uncertain terms."

"So I think he felt like he was backed into a corner and felt this was the only thing he could do."

"At least that’s how I justified his actions."

"And in doing so he realizes he’s not naturally a warrior."

"He doesn’t have that sort of brave, fearless mentality of some of the other characters."

"So he needs something to numb his fear and gets absolutely blind drunk and gets around to it."

HOW MUCH DO YOU THINI IT WEIGHS ON AEGON THAT HE HAS TO FOLLOW IN THE FOOTSTEPS OF HIS FATHER?

"Viserys [Paddy Considine] was the only sort of positive male figure on the show."

"Not positive to Aegon necessarily, but at least to the masses, so that’s his experience."

"I think seeing the way the small folk responded to Viserys while he was growing up showed Aegon his father was a good king who was liked and well-respected."

"He’s forged good and healthy relationships with people, so I definitely think it’s an element Aegon wants to replicate."

"You see that in episode one."

"But there’s a very, very quick realization that Aegon isn’t Viserys."

"He’s a completely different beast who has to play to his strengths."

IN EPISODE FOUR, AEGON IS FIGHTING MELEYS AND RHAENYS, THEN FEELS RELIEF WHEN AEMOND SHOWS UP, AND IT QUICKLY TURNS TO FEAR. WHAT WAS IT LIKE TO PORTRAY THIS RANGE IN SO LITTLE TIME? WHAT TALKS DID YOU HAVE WITH ALAN TAYLOR ABOUT YOUR PERFORMANCE IN IT?

"Yeah, as you said there wasn’t much time."

"We did like bullet points of moments we wanted to bring to life and what needs to be a priority."

"Yes, he sees his brother coming on Vhagar and the goal is to show that Aegon thinks it’s to rescue him."

"But the melee continues because that’s how the dragons are and that’s how the fight is going."

"There’s no escaping that fire and whatever else is coming Aegon’s way."

"Of course, people can make their own decisions on what Aemond’s intentions are, that bit is up for grabs."

"We didn’t want to fully spoon-feed that either."

"We spoke at length about these moments, especially seeing fear in Aegon’s eyes but also showing that he’s driven to prove himself."

EPISODE FIVE REVEALS THAT HE'S ALIVE BUT BADLY BURNED. THERE'S ONLY ONE LINE OF DIALOGUE YOU GET, WHICH IS "MUMMY." IT FEELS VERY VULNERABLE AND UNDERSTANDABLE THAT HE REGRESSES TO THIS CHILD-LIKE STATE AND CALLS AFTER HIS MOTHER.

"Exactly."

"He’s completely disfigured."

"He can’t breathe or see or talk. talk."

"I’m sure we all would regress to a child-like state."

WHAT WAS IT LIKE TO PLAY THIS VERSION OF AEGON NOW AND HOW LONG DID IT TAKE TO GET INTO CHARACTER IN TERMS OF THE MAKEUP AND PROSTHETICS?

"There’s less acting required of course but it didn’t feel too different or that I was doing less work."

"Getting the makeup done took a long time though, especially in the early stages."

"It was taking seven hours and we gradually got that down to fewer hours."

"It’s still a long time, and I was also in that armor for the full day."

"Luckily, I was surrounded by a gorgeous team who were so accommodating, helpful, and encouraging."

"It was great when it could have been more difficult, let’s put it that way."

A KEY SCENE FOR AEGON IS WHEN HE FIRES OTTO HIGHTOWER (RHYS IFANS) AS HIS HAND. DO YOU FEEL LIKE IT MARKED A TURNING POINT IN HOW HE SAW HIMSELF OPERATING AS A RULER? WILL HE REGRET DOING IT NOW?

"I don’t think he regrets it because Otto was restricting and filtering Aegon."

"He was slamming the brakes the entire time, he was like a handbrake."

"And as soon as that happened, he sort of snapped free."

"He felt like he could make progress even if it wasn’t an immediate success."

"So no, I don’t think he regrets it."

"It’s for sure a turning point as well because I think finds strength in it."

"You really see him step into being the king and using his power."

"He’s been in the same room as Otto many times and knows he’s one of the most powerful people."

"That status shifts at that moment for Aegon."

"I find it so stimulating because here’s this person who is the patriarch of the family and is just being reduced to a little boy who has to take his badge off and give it to someone else."

WHAT'S IT LIKE TO WORK WITH EWAN MITCHELL, ESPECIALLY AS AEGON AND AEMOND'S BROTHERLY RIVALRY COMES TO A HEAD THIS SEASON?

"Oh, yeah, I love Ewan."

"He’s great, it’s always a joy to scare scenes with him."

"We both dive in and take it seriously when we’re living in these characters, but it’s a lot of fun."

"As for the brotherly bond, everyone thinks Aegon is ripping Aemond, but then he calls him out too at the small council meeting [in Valyrian]."

"It’s the same thing. It’s bullying as well."

"So what happens in that brothel scene."

For example, if you walk in and find your brother there, you’re not going to go: — 'Sorry guys, I’ll leave you alone.'

"You’ll make fun of him, too."

YOU'VE SAID BEFORE YOU WATCHED THE ENTIRETY OF GAME OF THRONES IN THREE WEEKS ONCE YOU GOT THE HOTD ROLE. DID WATCHING IT INFLUENCE YOUR PERFORMANCE IN THIS SHOW AT ALL?

"No, I find that dangerous, in that you can start to try and replicate a template that’s already been set for some by someone else."

"The beauty of a show like ours is that we’ve got a lot of actors jumping into it with fresh ideas."

"And we’re not making Game Of Thrones even if it’s part of the same world."

"It’s a different show entirely."

"What has been great to see this season is the newer characters and people working on it come in with their own opinions and brave, bold choices."

"It’s multi-layered and colorful."

YOU'RE ABLE TO BRING MORE LAYERS TO AEGON THIS SEASON, AND IT'S EASY TO FEEL BAD FOR HIM AT TIMES. WHAT'S IT LIKE TO BE ABLE FLESH OUT HIS COMPLEXITIES SO HE'S NOT A ONE-NOTE VILLAIN?

"It’s great to be able to spend longer with a character because you end up getting to know them more and your choices become more informed."

"Aegon feels more lived in now because I’m coming at it from a greater depth and investigation."

"A lot of that work has been done."

"So yeah, it’s great because the character becomes a part of you in a way."

"After all, you’ve played them for so long."

"Aegon has increased responsibility this time so I like riding the wave of where they’re going with it."

"It’s brilliant that he’s a pivotal character in the story even now after episode five."

[tobbesdiscordkitten]

do you feel like axl still has a *small* chance of being a dad? it’s a weird question, but i saw how a lot of ur followers love axl (like me too, heyyy) and I thought that part of his life

obviously he’s older now, but there’s a handful of celebrities who’ve had children later. maybe he’s content w/ his life but a small part of me wishes he had that chance like his bandmates. wonder what they could’ve looked like for him lol

Hey! I’m so glad we have another Axl lover here ^.^

If Axl can get a woman pregnant now and have her carry his child then he’ll succeed in having that small chance come true lol.

Nah, all jokes aside, I totally get where you’re coming from, anon. I often think about how unfair it was for Axl to not have children of his own. He’s been through hell and back in life, he at least deserved to have kids. I’m not a religious person, but something in the universe forbade him from having that. Whatever the reason could be, I’m not sure, but I still think it’s unjust.

The closest thing Axl got to having his own family was being with the Lebeis family - Beta and Fernando - after his breakup with Stephanie Seymour.

In an interview conducted in the early 2000s, Beta explains, “according to [Axl], I am the mother he never had. He was impressed by the way I raise my children, the concern…He never had that. He calls me Beta and, sometimes, mama. I always make food and take it to the studio, I make pies, cakes…I call before the show to wish them good luck. I light candles for them. It’s like I am the mom of the whole band.” Fernando, Beta’s son, is the current manager of GNR, and has the same responsibilities that Alan Niven used to have back in the day.

While this wasn’t the exact outcome Axl expected in his life, he still received a tight-knit family he can call his own. Whenever he talks about it in interviews, he sounds content about the whole thing. If he’s happy about it, then I am, too. There’s no point in moping over him not having his own children when he has Beta and Fernando lol.

In 1989, Rock Scene asked Axl, “Would [you] make a good father?” Axl replied:

Um…not yet. I love kids, but I think I would be too hard on them because…A lot of people say that when they’re raised a certain way, “I’ll never be like that with my children,” but then those things seem to come out, whether you want them to or not, ‘cause that’s how you were taught to raise a kid. And I’m still wrestling with those things, and until I come to terms with them and feel like I could give a child the upbringing that it would deserve, I don’t want to attempt it.

Like I’ve said before, I’m so much of a perfectionist I don’t want to attempt it and end up smacking it when I shouldn’t have, or something. I don’t want to give a child anything bad to look back on except for what may have happened in just the natural course of life. I don’t want to be in the situation of, “Yeah, well if I wouldn’t have locked him in his room…” You see, I get along with my father real well now. Actually, he’s my stepfather, but he raised me. But I see some of the pain that he has to go through in dealing with the way he raised me, and the pain that I have to deal with in getting along with my father, and thinking back on certain things that happened every now and then, and how mad I get. I don’t want those things to happen.

I know this was a few years before he invested into regression therapy, but he thought about the idea of him having his own children, similarly to how the fandom questions, what would it have been like if Axl had kids?

Going back to Beta, Axl was adopted into her family, and they have been inseparable. She will always support and take care of him.

[ladydaybreaker]

Projects for the Future

Alright so...I kinda got bit by this a while ago but have been mulling it over with some friends. These are by no means going to get published any time soon but with some...questionable...things that have been put out lately I kinda wanted to show my take and how I would have done them.

These are both Role swaps by the way and because I'm me...

That means an absolutely heavy amount of Khori.

(put below the "read more" for mobile people's ease!)

First Story:

Role swap where Uzi had been the one that died that night Nori should have. Now I know what you're thinking, "but lady, you said Khori things..." and you'd be right! 'Cuz Khan's not Uzi's dad in this one. Our DDs are Serial Designation: K, Serial Designation: A and Serial Designation: L (that last one might get changed). Better known as their canon counterparts Khan, Alexei and Liam (again, last one might change). Nori is still the damaged 002 from CFL and Yeva is still 048 as well. What had happened was when Nori and Yeva escaped the labs, Nori was damaged in a way that her memory had shorted out and she barely remembered anything from it...just that there was some dark place that she didn't want to remember and that she had met Yeva there. They had escaped both with two UNNs who became known as Uzi and Doll. At least...Nori came out with Uzi. Her father is unknown (mainly because Nori's memory is damaged) and likely perished in the wake of the collapse trying to get Nori and Uzi out.

Uzi ends up dying as a child from one of the Disassemblers and it absolutely breaks Nori. Nori insists her daughter is ok and alive just...unable to come home. So she waits for a good amount of time every day by the doors until Yeva takes her home or she falls asleep (which Yeva picks her up and brings her back to the apartment). Yeva does not have the heart to tell Nori that Uzi is dead nor does she have the heart to talk about what happened to them down in the labs...about the Solver and everything. Nori's Solver seems to have regressed (but a lot of this is Yeva slipping oil into Nori's drinks and food to make sure she doesn't go into rampage mode). Doll and Yeva's husband (unnammed atm) end up dying to one of the Disassemblers (haven't decided...but it's probably going to be the third one, whether that's L or whatever person I give that swap to). So yay Doll swap is now Yeva.

Nori one day ends up running out of the colony, in a daze probably mourning her daughter and husband when she runs into K. Ends up beating him with a wrench and knocking him into a clear state (or she ends up saving him from a bad hunt where he was injured because she knows that look...and she hates that look of loss and defeat.)

Cue the whole thing of them figuring out what the Solver is yada yada. Ends up going to the labs where K ends up running into (and getting saved by) a very small and grumbly Solver core...Nori was right, Uzi survived. Barely. She's...none too happy her mother's dating a freaking sky demon because "THOSE THINGS KILLED YOUR FREAKING DAUGHTER!" But eventually comes to accept her Mom is...happy. And even more happy with both her AND K in her life...will eventually get it so Uzi gets her own body again. Yeva ends up connecting with A, the big bear of a Disassembler who...may have lost just as much as she did before. Eventually ends up with them having a kid who Yeva names after the daughter she lost long ago.

Second Story

So, this one is also a swap au but...with a tiny little twist. It's an age swap. Yes yes I know this is cringe af and weird but hear me out. I know there's an age swap with Uzi being the Mom and Khan being her son but, imma be blunt, I don't think it...feels like a proper swap. Rather it just...took the original personalities of the person they were swapping with and gave them to the person playing the role. Ain't happening here. The idea is Khan Doorman is the shining star student, valedictorian genius of his class beloved by everyone in that bunker, kinda...weird in the way he's too smart for his own good but he's charismatic. . . and then there's his absolutely batty insane mother Uzi who is a pariah menace to society and everyone fears to get on the bad end of her little 'projects' (she has magnetized people to the ceilings because they pissed her off). Khan and his mother have a strained relationship...mainly because she thinks he's boring and needs to lighten up a bit and he thinks she's a bit...wild...and lashing out ever since his father Emmett Doorman died years ago. But they do love each other and would do anything for each other. Which...is why Khan gives chase to his absolutely insane mother when she sneaks out of the safety of the bunker to kill a Murder Drone. He ends up instead finding Tall, Dark and Pretty Serial Designation (Nori. I haven't quite decided what letter to give her because well...technically it'd be N because first letter). And her squadmates Serial Designation Y(eva) and (haven't figured out who the third one is yet, whoopsies...possibly L for Luke or A for Alice).

Of course, Khan is infected with the Solver, Uzi I haven't decided if she is or not...part of me is like "give her a break and have her just be awesomely crazy and angsty on her own that she made 002 fall head over heels for her". And SD Nori finds Core Emmett in the mines...which would lead to a heartbreaking Nuzi moment later as Uzi actually...breaks the edgy angry persona and shows vulnerability as she hugs the love of her life close to her...as she thought she'd lost him forever. And me being me, Y ends up being enamoured with Khan's best friend and madlad sharpshooter Alexei because you can pry him from my cold dead hands...

I haven't really gotten much on those swaps other than the bits of where Khan, Nori, Yeva, Alexei and Uzi fit in. But I wanted to share them because they've been rattling in my brain long enough...

[c1trvswurld]

Analyzing the Dethklok boys and their relation to Gods

So I've recently gotten into Metalocalypse and was kinda upset that no one in my vicinity has either not heard or cares about this show enough to yap and analyze it with me but then I remembered that I have a Tumblr just collecting dust and this is a perfect place to just...talk. But anyway going back to the whole purpose of this post I wanted to touch on the boys pretty literal godhood presented in the show and how it reflects on their character and their backstories starting with...

Toki Wartooth

Starting off with one of the easiest to analyze since he arguably has the most lore present to the viewer. Throughout the series, toki is presented as the most childish as well as the most emotional of the group with parallels to the angle of death sprinkled everywhere. It's prophesized that anyone he loves or finds dear kicks the bucket with the boys being an exception (since IMO their prophecy and own godlike powers kinda cancel it out). Whether it is that child fan whom he was unironically doing the favor of declining her until the last second or his own father- everyone he loves either dies or never progresses in life (i.e. Dr.Rockso). By nature he is a bad omen who particularly gets canceled out by another member- I'll get into that shut up- but also has weird relations with the big man upstairs, Jesus Christ. His appearance is even similar to that of him and in scenes of his childhood where he's being heavily abused by his parents, you can see parallels of the lashings on his back. When being tortured by Magnus alongside Abigail they are crucified and put into the position Jesus once was in. [Also, sidenote I find it interesting how he deals with stressful situations either by tweaking or age-regressing by having Pickles be his caretaker. Since you can see him slowly regress through the series (no he did not regress all of a sudden after being saved you can clearly see how he regresses throughout the series, and I stand on that bruh) but regresses hard during the aftermath.]

Skwisgaar Skwigelf

Being the adonis he is, I think Skwisgaar represents life to counter Toki's roots in death. His appearance replicating common ideals of angels paired with his height and canonical attractiveness, Skwisgaar is truly a seductress of all sorts. To the point, I get huge Zeus feelings from him (hell it was kinda pushed into our faces during the episode showing how many children he's fathered). His learned skill contrasts itself with Toki's raw talent and has a constant clash- going back to the fact that they represent death and life respectively. I think their constant fighting kinda represents the back and forth between life and death, and those small tidbits where they do show compassion towards each other are a display of how one couldn't exist without the other. It's the fear of Toki possibly getting better than him that pushes Skwisgaar to be on top of shit and it's Skwisgaar's superiority complex and constant snubbing of Toki that pushes the other to battle for the same position. It's another interesting thing how they both deal with their traumas differently. as I truly believe Skwisgaar is prolly hypersexual due to being constantly exposed to well.. sex. And when he's not pondering on that aspect of his life then he's parading around his guitar skills as another coping method. I mean his guitar is LITERALLY part of him 24/7.

Nathan Explosion

Saw a bunch of discussions/debates on what Nathan could be, ranging from power, love, and rage (tbh that's more William than anything). And I think it's a mixture. Nathan is the only member of Dethklok to actually seem to have a stable background out of all of the band, also being the only member consistently in non-one note relationships. And while he does divulge himself groupies he seems to be genuinely interested in having long-term relationships as seen with him getting ready to propose to Abigail (which I honestly think he didn't really want to, he just felt something was missing and hoped a woman he had something with could fulfill that purpose). All of this makes me think he has some domain/relation to love as well as power seeing his influence of thousands being the head of Dethklok. His power is so insanely strong that whenever he doesn't deliver or even when he does via performances the area goes to shit and he strikes up chaos. A little part of me wonders if that's because all of the boys performing is like some Leviathan event but I digress. And in this role, it is Nathan who counters...

William

William arguably has the least info bout his background other than how his two parents died and how he was treated harshly in school, there's not jack about him. However, I do feel like he has domain over hate, pride, and chaos. I mean this man's hatred is so intense that it extends to every part of himself and is an essential part of Dethklok's sound. Without him, they are positive, which funny enough is pretty reflective of the role of bass in a band. It's the link between the drums and everything else. So no matter what the rest of the instruments are doing at that moment the bass sets a tone and is fundamentally dictated by him. He's a mean, vulgar, and brash force that in a weird way counters everyone a tad bit. (love lil bro for that tho).

Pickles

Quite literally being dubbed the mother of the group by fandom and cannon I think Pickles represents the maternal figure of the group kinda. But at the same time he neither counters nor has a specific role in the group that isn't being the drummer. (though drummers act like the temporal glue i.e. wrangling his stupid bandmates to the right path) He takes on this id personality yet also acts brash. The closest thing I could compare him to being a Dionysus figure. Specifically how he represents overindulgence which can be seen in his multitude of addictions but his insanely high tolerance, other than the relation to alcohol Dionysus also has 2 sides just like pickles. One minute he is the most stable and mature of the group and the next he is thrown into a jealous or petty rage. (which can be seen in fatherklok of with Abigail and Nathan)Most often being spurred on by his family history of being the scapegoat for all their problems. And if you subscribe to the pickles is trans propaganda (which I fully am fucking down for) then the weird parallels between Dionysus's split presentation between femininity and masculinity interacting with each other is interesting to see. Especially when he becomes a maternal figure for toki, Skwisgaar, and William- but a pseudo partner for Nathan who also kind of represents the patriarchal power in the home. Paired with Dionysus having domain over theatre and entertainment is interesting with his roots in glam metal being the frontman for Snakes and Barrels.

anyways little shitty rant is OVER! I love this series so very much and I'm sad I just got into this fandom.

[hislittlestar]

How I Appear to Lord Lucifer

I’ve previously discussed how Lord Lucifer appears to me here:

So here I’d like to talk about how I appear to Lord Lucifer. Though first off, I want to mention that when not limited by the physical world, the appearance of our souls can shift based on who’s viewing it. This is why two people may be looking at a deity at the same time and the two people will see the deity differently. Lucifer sees me differently than how I see myself, hence my previous posts regarding my soul’s appearance conflicting how he sees me.

A lot of this information was gathered from the conversation I had with him I wrote about here:

According to Lucifer, I am a species of infernal called infernal fae. The infernal fae’s appearance is similar to those of cherubs, childlike and with small feathery wings on their backs. The wings are usually grey, but he said mine were whiter than others. They have this innocent childlike mindset and tendencies, but are as intelligent as adults. He also described them as having the “beauty of gods”. These creatures are the Infernal Realm equivalent of Hell’s imps (Hell and the Infernal Realm are separate in my gnosis). They help around with small tasks, like setting up tableware. They also enjoy doing things like writing books or songs. For those who have played Genshin Impact, I think of infernal fae as acting similar to melusines, while imps act more like hilichurls.

Lucifer sees me as both his child and his lover, a dynamic seen as taboo by humans, but is perfectly normal for deities. He said I’m his “fiancée” and that he’s the father to my soul. Due to being an infernal fae, he sees me as childlike. Discovering my species has helped me realize why I have age regression tendencies. I believe he sees himself in a caregiver role for me. I think of the dynamic between Shiva and Teacher in The Girl From the Other Side. He feels extremely protective over me. He also said he sees me as one of his priestesses, I suppose because of this blog. When I asked Lord Satan about this subject, his first impression was that I was a pet to Lucifer:

In summary, I believe Lucifer views me as one of his fiancées, his daughter, a pet, and a priestess. I am honored to have those roles for him. For me, he is my god, my lover, the father of my soul, and my master. Our connection is so unique and special. There is absolutely nothing I would trade this away for ♡

[enbypossum]

Age-Re-tober 1: Coffee/Tea

Stolas had a lot of work to do.

He had paperwork to fill out,

Had a few thousand reports to read through,

And more things that even he doesn't completely understand.

Being royal is not as grand as people accused.

“Daddy daddy!” His wonderful daughter, Via, ran into his room.

The one and only good thing that came from his life.

“Hello, Via.” Stolas says. “How are you, dear?”

"Daddy! Will you join my tea party?" Via asks. “I made everything perfect!” She says proudly.

Octavia was regressed to about four today. She had recently opened up to Stolas about being a regressor, and though it had taken some time for him to understand and it was hard for her to open up to him, they've made some incredible progress to where Via actually feels comfortable regressing around him.

It was certainly bringing them closer together, and though Via doesn't really need a caregiver, Stolas was usually more than happy to keep her company while she's small.

"I apologize, Via. What was that you asked?" Stolas asks her.

"Tea party! I have the table all set pretty like mum taught me!" She explained proudly. "I have everything ready, so we can have tea!"

"Oh, Via. I would be delighted to have tea with you." Stolas tells her. "But I have some work to do, and I'm afraid it's very important." He says.

Via frowns. "Oh... okay."

Stolas frowns next. "I'm sorry, dear. We will play later, I promise."

Via nods. "It's okay. I can play alone."

Stolas wanted to say more, but Via walked away to her room.

Stolas sighed and walked back to his desk to get started.

And though this really needed to get done...he couldn't focus. He could only think of Via.

When Octavia regresses like that, she really does act like she did when she was a child.

'Daddy! Daddy! Tea!' Three year old Via held up her play tea cup to Stolas.

'That's very nice, Via.' He tells her, patting her head and leaving.

He had been drinking a lot the night before and was hung over...

He and Stella had a fight...or more so she had a fight with him while he just let it happen...

Drinking was his way to cope...

He's glad at least Octavia had a healthier alternative.

He often wonders what Via thought that day... did she feel like Stolas was upset or uninterested in her?

Like loo loo land...

Or...now?

Sigh...

He does have that habit...doesn't he?

What kind of father was he?

Stolas shakes his head. It wasn't the same thing... he's not still the same father he was.

In fact he was around...

Less.

But at least Stella was no longer here to stop him…

Hmm.

Stolas looks out the bedroom door, hearing his wonderful daughter talk to her stuffed animals like they are alive.

"More tea, Mr scruffles? Oh thank you, this dress is new!"

Stolas smiles. What a wonderful hostess.

Stolas turned back to his book, then over to the hall...

...

He smiles to himself.

He supposed he could join Via for a little while.

After all, if your priorities don't lie with those you love the most...what even are priorities?

"Octavia?" Stolas asks, stepping into her room.

Via looks up at Stolas and moves over to him, her head looking down in shame. "Was I too loud?"

Stolas shakes his head. "Oh, no. Darling, you're not! I was just going to ask you if the invite to join your party was still on the table?"

Octavia gasps happily. "Really?"

Stolas nods. "For a little while! I still have work to do, but I realized, I haven't been spending as much time with you, like I should... I'd like to change that. If you'd like-"

Octavia hugs her dad. "Thank you, daddy."

Stolas hugs her back, smiling. "Of course, darling."

Before anyone could say anything else, Via takes his hand and pulls him over to her tea table.

Via had set the table beautifully; a black laced table cloth covered the table, she got out her beautiful white and purple tea pot and cups, saucers, and sugar bowl to match.

She got out golden spoons and butter knives, and placed down a tray of cookies and scones.

Her mother insisted on Via learning to be the best hostess she can be at a very young age, Stolas is proud that Via payed attention…but he's even more proud that she does it her way.

"You sit here!" Via tells him, gesturing to the seat next to her and beside a bunny plushie.

She put on some music, a gothic but charming melody, it definitely matched the asthetic of the party.

"Tea?" Via asks him.

"Oh, yes. Thank you, Via." Stolas says.

Via pours some tea in his cup and her own, then she pours some imaginary tea for her stuffed animals.

"Are you going to introduce me to your friends?" Stolas asks.

"Um. Yes." Via says, setting the tea pot down.

She gestures to the bunny next to him. "That is Mr scruffles."

"Nice to meet you." Stolas says.

"And that is smallbirb and biscuit." She pointed to the conjoined bird stuffed animals.

Strange, but if it makes her happy.

"And lastly, this is squip." Via points to a taxidermied rat.

Stolas tilts his head. "Peculiar name."

"Mommy doesn't like him. She threw him in the trash and said he wasn't good for a princess."

Stolas frowns. "Oh, Via. I'm so sorry."

How could he let that happen? How could he let any of this happen? Where was he?!

"It's okay! I glued-ed a crown on him! Now he's a princess! See?" Via shows him.

Stolas smiles.

My, she is a wonder.

"He's beautiful, Via." He tells her.

"Yeah, he's the best princess." Via says.

"Well, he's certainly great." Stolas says. "But you're the best princess."

Via shakes her head. "No, cuz I don't like princess things. Not like mama does."

"Sure you do." Stolas says. "You like tea parties, animals, music-"

"But...it dark though."

"So, you're your own princess, darling. You don't have to be like everyone else. In fact, I like that you like dark things. I happen to like dark things too."

Via looks surprised. "Really?"

Stolas nods. "Really. I like dark colors, long capes, dark makeup. It's charming."

She smiles. "So, I can be a dark princess and still be good?"

"You can like anything you want and still be the best princess ever." Stolas tells her.

Via makes a happy chirping sound, a sound that Stolas hasn't heard since she was a baby...

The clock chimes loudly, interrupting the party.

Was it really five already?

"Does you have work now?" Via asks.

Stolas looks at the clock...

He did need to get that paperwork done but...

He looked at Via...

And he smiles. "It can wait. You are much more important." He says.

Via smiles and their tea party continued.

Sure, Stolas had to stay up to finish the work but...

For her?

It was worth it.

She's worth everything.

Possum: Sorry this is late! Family stuff.

Everything is fine though! I promise!

[edbloves]

This is sort of angsty? But sort of not? Not sure. I discovered a bunch of reddit posts of anxious parents who had accidentally injured their child, like for example, one of them was vacuuming and didn’t realize their child was behind them and ran the vacuum into their face. Or someone else tried to swat a fly away and accidentally smacked their kid. And then I got to wondering if that’s something that would really freak Gale out? If through some freak accident Grace got a little hurt by him. Given everything about his dad, would that be something that would get to him or would he be ok?

I love this question! 100%, yes, I think it would freak him right out.

For Gale, I think it would him into a spiral of panic that would cause him to regress in the progress he makes working past the anxieties he holds about his own father. He would take it as confirmation that can't truly escape the shadows his father cast over him while growing up, particularly in the early days of having Grace with them. As she gets older and they learn how to be with each other, Gale starts to accept more that he and his father are very different, but in his mind it comes down to the effort he puts into NOT being like his father. I think no matter how old Grace is (whether she's three for seven or sixteen), Gale always will have that little voice in his head that sounds suspiciously like his father. With time, as she grows up, he treats that voice like more of a gentle reminder than anything, but when she is little, it's a driving, panicking force that is a constant presence in his life.

So if he ever did unintentionally injure Grace, it would absolutely freak Gale out, and it would take a lot of John talking him down and apologizing to Grace to get him back on normal ground, and even then, he'd feel like he has to spend ages making it up to her and spoiling her and making sure she knows he loves her. Even if it's very minor, like an accidental small bump to the head when he's not looking, compared to something serious like a broken arm she got while his back was turned, he would spiral equally.

Thanks for the thoughtful ask, SO sorry it took absolutely forever to answer it!

[pruneunfair]

Also,that's teh manhwa I was talking about aka revenge against the real one,oh that one is bad. The sister literally didn't deserve to get hate by all the characters of the manhwa and I dropped it. You wanna know the ending,here it is. You may rage on the fl,ml and fls friends if you please. Please note,every reader wants to hug hyllian aka the sister:

Spoilers below for those who want to know:

Helga(fl) finds out from the Duke (her father) that neither she nor Helian are the Duchess's daughters. Back then the Duchess was pregnant but had a miscarriage, ended up infertile because of it, and had a total mental breakdown afterwards. As a result, the Duke had sex with a maid who worked for them and got her pregnant to preserve his bloodline. The maid gave birth to twins and the Duke used his bloodline's magic to twist the minds of the maid into forgetting she had twins, and forcing the Duchess to believe one of the daughters was hers (Helga). However, after a few years the magic wore off and the Duchess's mind started reverting to its previous state. She somewhat remembered that she was pregnant and lost a child somehow, but her mind is totally destroyed by this point and she can't function. So the Duke used magic again to make her believe Helga was swapped at birth in order to appease her insanity and faulty memories. He also does the same thing to the maid, forcing her to believe she was a kidnapper for the rest of her short life. While this is all messed up, remember that I said Helga learns all of this from the Duke? Well she never tells Helian any of it. Instead, she continues to let Helian believe that she 'wronged' Helga, all because Helga still hates her guts to the core. The Duke and Duchess are also bankrupt by this point, so Helian is now broke as well. They also lose the family home and all possessions. Following this, the crazy ML prince (now emperor) is heavily implied to have murdered the Duke and Duchess shortly afterwards. Why? Because Helga deep down still felt yearning to be loved by the Duchess as a mother. And the ML didn't want to see her burdened by those feelings. Yeah... They host a funeral for the deceased parents and Helian sees Helga there. Helian still tries to make up with her sister and once again form a genuine sisterly bond (after all she's done previously to help Helga), but Helga tells her to fuck off again. Helian is depressed and leaves the kingdom to try and make a new life for herself. She comes back a few years later after Helga has given birth and became the new empress. When she tries to enter the capital to see Helga again, guards prevent her from doing so. They declare they have orders to keep her banned from the city, but they don't know why. The real reason is that the crazy ML knows Helga hates Helian and put orders to keep Helian out forever. Because he doesn't want Helga to be bothered by Helian's presence. At this point, Helian finally realizes how much Helga hates her, and that there never was a chance for them to come together as family. She breaks down sobbing and leaves the kingdom again to live with a small group of unknown/unnamed friends. Helga lives happily ever after knowing Helian is miserable with no parents or financial support. Honestly, I'd be more accepting of the story if the author didn't frame Helga as the innocent party here, and acknowledged that this was meant to be a pro villainess ordeal. Because that's what it is from start to finish. Rooting for a bitch like Helga doesn't work when I'm supposed to pretend she isn't one. That kinda defeats the purpose...

Jesus Christ I remember you talking about this one now, someone give Helian her own regression story because someone needs to take Helga down a few pegs.

if I ever redo the tier list ill know where to put this one.

[silently-waiting-for-you]

Marvel

Trope: de-aged peter parker

a gift of time

Holy shit, mini-Peter was adorable. Tony seriously wanted to just cuddle the kid, maybe kiss his cheeks, definitely spoil him.

or

In which Peter gets de-aged for two weeks, and Tony gets to be a dad.

. . . . .

a little hiccup

While Peter was out patrolling as Spiderman, an incident occurs and something happens to him. Now he has to go to Tony for help, and their relationship will never be the same.

Shameless Irondad and Spiderson.

. . . .

age regression was impossible... right?

He didn't see anything at first, and had been getting ready to turn around and examine the area behind him when he saw it.

Tony had to do a double take when he saw it. Wait, not it, a child. There was a child sitting in the far end of the alleyway, his small frame visible in the shadows. He couldn't be more than two years old, the small body curled up on its side in Tony's direction.

Or, in which, Peter is de-aged and Tony bares the responsibility of looking after him.

. . . .

close to my heart, never to part

During patrol one night, Peter comes across something that leaves him and Ned dumbfounded. The next morning, Ned is dropping off a now two-year-old Peter at Tony’s. Not only does he have to figure out how to turn him back, but he must watch him. Tony wonders what he’s supposed to do with the now toddler-Peter for the next two weeks…until he slowly starts to wonder what he will do without this boy after the two weeks are over.

. . . . .

like a boat out on the ocean (i'm rocking you to sleep)

"Hey there, Roo." Tony whispered to the little child, slowly kneeling in front of him and giving him a small smile as he wiped away a few stray tears from rosy cheeks. "Whats'a matter, huh? You have a nightmare?"

Peter nodded, his chin wobbling and tears welling up in his doe eyes once again. He made little grabby hands towards Tony and the man instantly scooped him up, holding him gently to his chest with one arm and cradling the back of his head with the other.

Or

Peter is accidentally de-aged, and Tony and Morgan come to his rescue when he has a nightmare.

. . . . .

no take backs

Peter, Tony, and the Avengers fight a strange alien wizard with disastrous (and cute) consequences for Peter. Now Tony has to deal with a five-year-old Spider-Man, and the Rogues, who don’t think he’s capable of taking care of his favorite intern. Set a few weeks after the events of Spider-Man’s Pizza Delivery Service.

OR

Peter gets de-aged, and there is a lot of domestic fluff and crack that follows for him and Tony.

. . . . .

parent for a weekend

“Kid?” He approached the pile of clothes. What he saw, almost made his eyes bug out of his head. There was a small child, no older than two, in the middle of the pile of clothes, as if they were swimming in the clothes. When the child looked up at him, Tony gasped. He’d know those brown eyes anywhere.

“Mis’er S’ar?”

----

Or Peter somehow gets de-aged and it's up to Tony to fix it and also take care of him.

Iron Man Bingo #12- "Did you just call me dad?"

. . . . .

spider-baby (literally)

“Oh my God, oh my God!”

“Dammit Stark! You had one job!”

“Language! Peter! Peter, come down please.”

“Hold on guys, I have an idea,” Sam said and ran off.

Peter looked down at the adults talking over each other and let out delighted laugh at the sight. Tony was taken aback, looking offended. “Did the little crap just laughed at us?”

Or when Peter gets accidentally turned into a baby, chaos and fluff ensures.

. . . . .

spider-baby of mine

Tony never considered himself a father to anyone, but when Peter is hit with an alien weapon and de-aged, that's exactly what he needs to be.

[twst-kumi]

Weeping Maiden [ACT II]

Warning: slight mention of child abuse

[Act II] CHAPTER 3

Yuu looked beyond confused. How could she be 16? It's only been a few months… suddenly he wasn’t so sure about it. Did the time here flow differently? Or could it be that it didn't affect their original world every time he regressed in this world? 

“_Wait, something doesn't add up… You… You're 16 now?

_Yes, although I don’t know why you are still 16. It's been three years Yuu.”

Yuu paled as he listened to her. Not only did they not keep their part of the deal and imprison his sister here but even if he returned to his world he would have been too late. Maybe she would have already moved on with her life by the time he returned. Yuu couldn't help but imagine if she didn't come here and when he would return. Maybe she would be an international actress, be married, and forget him. 

“_Yuu? YUU!!”

Out of shock, Yuu lost consciousness. He collapsed in her arms, the call of the other sounding only like a muffled sound. All he could feel was the familiar warmth of his sweet sister.

***

Three years ago, Yuu remembered how all this started. 

[Name] had a representation that day, the day of her birthday and his disappearance. She had been asking Yuu to come for days now. And naturally, he accepted. 

“_You are not serious, right? Can you imagine what people would say if they knew you were her brother?

_B…but it's her birthday and…

_You will only bring shame to her! You don’t want that, right? The least you could do as her brother, is not to ruin her life.”

On the eve of her birthday, when he retracted his promise. He saw her get genuinely upset for the first time in her life. For the first time, the small child who always smiled at him latched on to him. He remembered standing in shock as their mother hugged her as his treasure cried and wept in her arms. His father sneered at him before sending him back to his room. That night he didn't get hit, not that it was needed… The biggest blow they could give him was his sister's rejection. 

“_[Name]...”

It hurt him when she ignored him and ran to the car. She didn't want to talk to him, to a betrayer. For Yuu, this was the worst punishment he could get. 

As an apology, Yuu decided to buy her favorite cake. It was there he met her. The young woman’s name was Hatsuko, from what he understood her sister had some history with [Name]. Something about a competition, being robbed of the guy she deserved. Nothing new for him. His sister was popular and while many boys had a crush on him, most of the people always thought her life was easy. A talented child actress, a great dancer, and a young musician… but no one but him knew the hard work and trauma behind it. [Name] was “perfect” because she had to and people diminished her effort and pain under the excuse of beauty privilege.

That day, he struck a deal with Hatsuko. A reckless deal but still a good deal for him. He didn't mind becoming a guinea pig for whatever experiment they planned for his sister. The deal was that they wouldn't touch her.

Yuu couldn't remember anything afterward. He didn't even know why he was in this world or if it was part of said experiment. Afterward, he had the urge to feed Grims the overbolt’s stone. He could tell it was a bad idea and in the first timeline against Azul, Leona’s reaction just confirmed his worry. But it’s only in the fourth timeline after VDC that Yuu decided to try and stop the magical beast from eating the blot. He could forget how surprised he was when Grim attacked him. 

When he woke up back to the first day when he met with Ace and Deuce, he concluded that he died during Grim’s attack. Still, he didn’t think it had been three years, maybe Hatsuko decided that the deal was off.

***

Yuu woke up in the Infirmary, he looked around him to see [Name] sitting next to his bed. He couldn’t help but smile as she was carefully peeling an apple for him. She still looked clumsy in that part. 

“_Are you awake?

_How long was I out?

_During the whole match, Grim complained because he didn’t get to play.

_Really? That does sound like him.”

Yuu groaned before sitting up. He opened his mouth enjoying the fact that his sister was feeding him. It was kinda nice to be spoiled like this. The atmosphere between them was pleasant and completely different from during the overblot. The siblings laughed together as they started to chat. 

“_If you two finished, how about you guys get me an apple too? 

_You’ve got two hands, Leona, use them.”

Said Yuu while glancing at the Lion beastmen. He didn’t bother as he just made a “tch” sound. Ruggie and the other looked at him in awe. After the flying kick, he also talks back!? Yuu looked completely different from his usual “herbivore” behavior.  Leona had a hunch about it, but he was sure now. This was his true personality. His eyes looked more lively too, a stark difference between his tired and indifferent look. No one seemed to notice since Yuu came to NRC, but the boy looked fake in his interaction with them. Like he was just following a script or forcing himself to be friendly. 

The Yuu before them didn’t care much about them. Leona couldn’t help but feel disappointed. Maybe because of his sensible sense but [Name] smelled more like the Yuu he was sure he knew. It was strange, but she felt more familiar than the real Yuu. She smelled more like his herbivore. It was strange since she was a stranger until now. The beastmen could tell something wasn’t right, not just the fact the siblings who were supposed to have three years apart were both 16. At the young girl's explanation, everything kinda made sense. They aren’t from this world, her best theory was that the time didn’t flow the same way. 

None of them seemed particularly worried about it. Leona stared at [Name] for a moment, something about her attracted him. It wasn’t her beauty, he was never one to look at someone’s appearance. The girl glanced at him with pretty doe eyes before glaring at him. He wanted to chuckle at how cute she was. 

“_I’m not going to marry you, even if you're not in your overbolt.

_ Who said I would want to marry you?”

Leona said with a smirk on his face. He wanted to tease her a bit. Ruggie looked at Leona before laughing.

“_ Sheheehee, you proposed to her during your overblot. Your brother will be happy to know that spring has come for you. Even if you almost got killed by your future brother-in-law.

_Shut-up…

_ I would have preferred it if Ruggie was the one who proposed tho…

_What?/Come again?/Huh?”

[Name] chuckled as she could see their shocked face while Ruggie just blushed. She couldn’t help but tease him. He was kind of her favorite in the game. Ruggie didn’t dare to look up, he could feel Yuu’s murderous stare and Leona’s mocking glance.

<previous next>

tag: 

@cocomollo @owodi @illytian @mmysticc-ev0let @oreolover1

[sweetmusingss]

Oscar immediately sensed your nerves, being more turned into your emotions and feelings than his own. The only time he wasn’t when he was with Sophie but that was all over now and he was back to being incredibly observant when it came to you. He set the bags down, rubbing your back gently. “Are you alright, Nay? Do you want to go somewhere else for a minute before we do this? We don’t have to do this right now. We can let Max and Katie talk their ears off and things can be calmer later,” he said, not wanting to put you into a stressful situation. “I know I kind of begged you to come with me but I can find a hotel for us or something if you’d be more comfortable there..,” he said, not wanting to overwhelm you in any way, shape, or form.

I shake my head as he asks if I wanted him to get us a hotel, knowing it was important for Oscar to spend time with his family. I wasn’t going to take him away from his family. Maybe a night or two we could spend on our own or something, but I was not going to immediately tell him to leave his family to stay in a hotel. “I just... I just realized I like you. You’ve liked me, loved me, for 5 years. I could be seen as a horrible person. How could your mom and dad look at me without some sort of resentment for putting their son through the emotional ringer for years on end? The way we acted, I way I treated you... it could all be taken so out of context, like I knew you liked me and used it to my advantage. It’s how Charles treated me... he knew how into him I was, and he used it against me every chance he got. I don’t want to be your Charles. I don’t want anyone thinking I’m here for the wrong reasons...” I was rambling now, my words coming out fast and rushed, stuttering over a few of them. Charles fucked me up mentally and I did not want to be that person in Oscar’s life. I didn’t want anyone to see me that way, even though it would be easy too. I slept in this man’s bed, without a thought in my head about how it made him feel, simply because it made me feel good. “I took advantage of you and your friendship for so long, Oscar... regardless of me being aware of it happening or not... I don’t know how to face anyone and make up for that...” 

__

My whole body stiffened when I heard what you said about your father. I had a small idea of what you went through but I never knew the details and hearing them made me so goddamn angry. How could any parent ever treat their child like that? “He better stay the hell away from you while I’m around because I will not be afraid to swing at his head too. Fucking prick,” I mutter to myself. I never really got super angry but I had this sense of protectiveness over you. I meet your eyes again, grateful to hear you talk about another race in the future and that you wanted me around. “I can’t wait, baby. Are you usually free at nights? I know you will be super busy preparing but I think it could be romantic if we’re still able to have dinner together,” I smile softly at you, stroking your cheek gently.

“He only comes to the important races... RedBull’s home race and my own home race. He doesn’t come to the others, he doesn’t care enough.” Max says through slightly gritted teeth. He hated when his dad showed up. He was always on edge when he was around, even now at 26, he regressed back to a 6 year old who as terrified of disappointing their father at every race he came to. Even if he got pole, which he normally did, his dad would complain about not getting fastest lap, or not setting a new record, or not defending properly against whoever was behind him even though he usually had a 5+ second lead. "My schedule isn’t known until the day of for most race weekends... sometimes I’m free right after practice or qualifying, but other times I need to go to meetings or train some more or have some team function I need to attend. No race weekend is the same week to week, it’s always changing... that’s why I said I will always make as much time for you as I possibly can, but sometimes it may be impossible to have any romantic dinners or any of that until the race is over.” He hated being so real about it, but it was true. He learned the hard way that honesty is the best policy. He didn’t want to tell you that he’d have time when he wasn’t sure if he would. You didn’t deserve to be fed false hopes. “I can guarantee that we will sleep in the same bed every night if you’re at a race. I always come home.” He gives you a playful smile, looking up at you, leaning into your touch as you stroke his cheek.

[crowcaws]

Season 2 spoilers ahead!

WHERE is their chemistry? It's so obvious they had no idea what to do with Rose this season, they made her insufferably flip flop between convictions. She is consrantly both washing her hands and going back to California, but also demanding she have classified Intel and be involved, then complains that they got her involved when they give it to her??? And she holds Peter to hypocritical standards while Peter went through the worst character regression ever. He STAGNATED at best, then tanked in the last half. All him and Rose did was argue, and share a kiss that felt frankly unearned.

I think the writers had no idea how to handle drama in an established relationship so they just killed it like they always do. They'll bring in someone newer and hotter and more badass with the CW curls in season 3 and reduce Luciane to a guest star at best, I just know it. I hate it.

We got ZERO new context into Night Agent operations, and they made the Night Agents work like regular spies instead of ppl who investigate government corruption. What's the point of that?

I feel like we barely got to see Peter as a Night Agent before he crashed out, shit the bed, did exactly what his father did and bumbled his way into a double agent job on the good graces of Christine, who was the only protag character I actually liked this season. Peter promised a child he'd see his dad again, then gets him killed, then doesn't revisit that or have a crisis about it, even though he also lost his dad just like that kid? He doesn't ever mention it again past that episode.

I hate that they made Peter and Rose so unlikeable. They were the sole reason I watched in the first place.

Also while I thought Noor's plot was the highlight of the season, if you think about it, the whole thing turned out to only be related to the actual plot by a VERY loose thread: the lackey (Vega) who gave Noor's boss the briefcase was also the same guy who helped sell the chemical weapons plans to Mystery Eastern European Country™ (they never name what country Bala is a dictator of!) our hero spent like 4-5 episodes fighting for Intel that WASN'T EVEN FUCKING RELEVANT??

Also the world felt so small. They didn't really go anywhere or do anything, they stood around talking and expositing, went to the same handful of locations, and nothing about the plot feels like it changes due to Peter's actions. He's just reacting to the things around him, whereas in season 1 he was actively disrupting plans with Rose and affecting the plot.

His recruitment by the Information Broker was also ridiculous. There was no convincing reason why Peter had to be the one to tell him about Night Action or get that info from the UN for him. That man did NOT need Peter for that, he only happened across Peter by chance. What was his plan to get that file if some random agent hadn't stumbled onto his radar?

This season holds up until you think about it for more than five minutes. I came for an action show that actually has a cute and believable romance between two slightly unhinged people who care about each other deeply. What I got was a devolvement into boring action tropes. Peter stripped of his personality to become the same action protag man who just caaaant help but be violent and impulsive (yawn), and Rose reduced to an annoyance that the writers didn't know what to do with unless she was at a computer doing Google Reverse Image Search (because apparently the government doesn't know how to do that)

I went from being hyped for season 2, to being completely uninterested in season 3. Whatever they do with it, I've seen all I need to see.

Night Agent season 2 was complete ass. Anyway.

[unlikelyagerestuffs]

Regressor Axl Headcannons!!

Axl is such a regressor! I see it! It's like, totally a thing, I ABSOLUTELY swear! Warnings for: Hiding Regression, coming out, vent regression

Under the cut!

It started out with a personal moment between friends. He and his buds escaped to Darrin's house to stay the night. (Which was NOT, by the way, a parental-approved sleepover. They were gonna play video games, and talk about chicks or somethin'.)

But it was just as the clock struck midnight, after a particularly heated Mario Party game and a particularly deep discussion, when Axl just went *off.*

Could he really just not do enough for his family?? He missed the days when they were just proud of him all the time. "I could kick down a bucket and they'd go *'ohh, look! What a strong boy our little Axl is!'* Now it's all, *uuh, pick up your socks, Axl. Do better in school, Axl.'* I wish they'd just get off my FREAKIN' back!"

"...That sucks, dude." Darrin replied sympathetically, if not somewhat unhelpfully. 

If it was any other time, and any other place, Axl would have played it off. But this was midnight, and he was with his boys... So, well... He cried. Normal, tough guy tears. Not like how those lameos in the movie do it. Both his friends put a comforting hand on him. It helped. 

And they stayed like that for a bit, Sean and Derrin passing worried glances. Until Sean Donahue, wise, educated Mister Donahue (or just Sean, because "Mister Donohue" was his father) decided to speak up. His family was educated on matters of the heart, so he had *an* idea of what to say. 

"I think... This is your inner child crying out, Axl. You really have to make sure you heal that part of you. It's an important part of human growth and development."

Ignoring all the nerd, lame, science stuff, maybe his friend had a point.

Regressing doesn't really change Axl. He doesn't really become a different person when he regresses. He doesn't baby talk, he doesn't walk around with a rattle and a pacifier. Honestly, at the start? All he really did was play basketball. It was what he remembered most from his childhood; Games with his dad. 

And anything that *does* change when his mindset shifts? Especially near the start, he tries to hide that part of him like crazy. Even the slight mention of anything childish from anyone at all, (mostly Sue) would get a flurry of, "GOD, no! That's so stupid! Get that out of my face, ugh!"

Outside of that, though, he tends to get quieter. And a lot more sensitive. The little things get to him easier, like when his dad assumes something is his fault, or his mom thinks he did something she didn't like on purpose. 

A while into his time regressing, he really wanted a coloring book. Just like, one of the cool ones - and not really to *color* in, just one he can mess up and tear apart and whatever. 

It became an entire Oceans 11 mission. Darrin had to stalk into a Dollar Tree and pretend to be a teen dad, while Sean went the opposite direction to get a package of crayons for an "art project." Axl stayed watch, dressed in a large black hoodie (although it didn't help that it was so big and comfy and made him feel like a little kid).

Darrin ended up picking out a book filled with racecars, which was lame because Axl wanted one with dinosaurs. The book ended up growing on him though; It would become something of a comfort item, and an integral part of his regression. The car lines were too small to color well in, so he would just scribble all over the pages. 

Huge messes ended up being a part of his regression, too! They were fun to make! He'd color, and then rip out the page and throw it, just, somewhere else! 

The first person to find out about his hobby was Brick. Which, as a roommate, could be more understanding at times than Axl gave him credit for. Brick said the topic didn't interest him and then walked away. Easy as that. 

His mom was (somewhat) understanding, too. "You already act like a child, so what's the big deal?" Sharing that he regressed because he had to fix the inner child that *she* broke, wasn't exactly on Axl's to-do list. 

He REALLY downplayed the whole thing with Sue, and STILL she insisted to get on his nerves. She was all namby-pamby and excited that her "little brother" Axl (gross) was an artist! She tried to drag him into childish activities he didn't care about. No, he's *not* going to decorate *anything* with pink, frilly sparkles, thank you, very much. 

He tried to keep it from his dad as long as he could. His dad was someone he kinda, maybe, really, *respected*, a little bit.

One night, he and his dad were playing a game of basketball. They were taking turns throwing shots, when, out of nowhere, his dad brought up, "hey, so your mom said you like kid stuff now. What's that all about?" No judgment. Just clarification. 

He'd been mentally preparing for this moment. As coolly as possible, "yeah, Sean said it would like, heal my inner child or sumthin', " he tested, spinning the ball in one hand and taking another shot. 

"Leave it to the Donahue's to go spreading all their mental health crap," came the neutral, slightly joking response. "What's wrong with your inner child?" 

And... Axl explained all the stuff he'd said to his friends, months earlier. That things were different now. That he was nobody's favorite. That he tried, he really did, but none of his effort could overlook the overwhelmingly observed bad. 

A long silence passed. Axl had nearly reached tears. And then his dad, in his Mike Heck, study, dependable kind of way, *apologized.* "Yeah, we kinda messed up as parents, didn't we."

It was all Axl needed to hear. "Yeah, ya kinda did."

[cutiecorner]

Okay. Officially entering batman mode (as if I haven't been there for weeks). This would be a million miles long if I talked about both his cgs, so I'll make a separate post for his dynamic with Clark Kent. Also good a time as any to remind that all relationships i portray are exclusively platonic/familial, please don't be weird. Art is from the Wayne Family Adventures on webtoon, btw!

As you can probably guess by the un-batman-ness of it all, Bruce's regression is largely stress/trauma related and involuntary

Given how much he has to deal with on a daily basis, it kind of takes a lot to get Bruce to regress. He doesn't do it often, at least at first. The one thing that makes him need to regress without fail is children being present at any altercation.

When that happens, he just kinda goes silent for the rest of the night. If he's working alongside someone they put the pieces together on their own that it triggered him in some way, so they don't bother him about it. Really he's just trying to get home before he breaks down.

Once he does get home, Alfred is there for him, and that's always what he needs. I'm very much of the headcanon (just canon honestly) that Alfred is straight up a parent to Bruce, and though they don't express it that much they very much see themselves as father and son.

Alfred knows when Bruce is regressed, its just a general look about him. He just drops every facade. The silence is also a big factor. Despite being stoic, Bruce usually rattles off all sorts of information when he gets home from a mission, so when he doesn't it makes a big difference.

Bruce doesn't really do regular regressor things. His version of regression is normals people's 'normal everyday relaxation time', if with a bit of nostalgia and a lot more tears.

Bruce's regression age is very nebulous and hard to define.

Demeanor wise, Bruce is very fragile when regressed. He's really jumpy, he gets scared at the smallest things and is very easily upset. He's also really apologetic about it, and as always has a hard time communicating his needs.

He follows Alfred around like a puppy, which Alf finds extremely endearing. Alfred needs to be in sight at all times or Bruce gets super worried and scared, so usually Bruce just clings to his arm if possible, or even his coat tails sometimes.

Obviously the tea flows freely, it's absolutely his favorite and very comforting for him. Though it hurts his very soul, Alfred waters it down a tiny bit with cold water so Bruce doesn't burn himself. Both of them have a very broad taste, and one of the few 'fun' things they do when Bruce is regressed is try new teas together. His favorite is Earl Grey, which Alfred tries very hard not to tease him about

Food wise, Bruce loves a good soup. For one, it's easy to eat without making a mess, and it's easy to be fed by someone else if it comes to that. Also it harkens back to sick days as a child, or even sick days as an adult. Though he tries to push them away for hero work, deep down Bruce loves being cared for on those days. Also come on it's soup!

He doesn't have a baby blanket, instead he straight up uses the comforter off his bed. He's always had the same one (as far as he knows) so it has the same effect for him. He's always draped in it, both because it makes him feel physically small and it kinda feels like a cool cape.

You'd think he'd try to avoid that stuff in his resting time, but he can't help it. Bruce always loved heroes, especially as a little kid. He loves old westerns, samurai, and detectives especially. Naturally, that kind of media is what he gravitates toward when he's regressed. They have an extensive archive of those things, movies, TV, and radio, so he usually takes his pick and tries to focus on that while he calms down. The Gray Ghost is his favorite, of course.

Applicably, pretty much the only time he talks while regressed is quoting the stories line for line as they happen. Usually just his favorite parts, but if he really needs to distract himself he could do the whole thing. Alfred feigns ignorance of the media so Bruce can feel like he's showing him something, but occasionally he'll quote a line and Bruce goes crazy /pos

A lot of his regression is just repeating things he did as a kid, mostly with Alfred, given he was kind of his only friend. If he's feeling up to it, they play chess, Alfred reads to him, or he does the puzzles (like crosswords/sudoku) in Alfred's morning newspaper - he loves that one because it makes him feel really smart.

He also likes to draw. Ironically, his adult skill at art doesn't go away when he's regressed, so the little doodles he makes are usually quite realistic sketches. For the most part he draws his family and friends. He likes to draw Clark and Diana and the rest of the justice league, sometimes as different types of heroes like cowboys or spacemen. Interestingly, he draws the heroes and their alter egos as different people - like his friend Diana is different than his friend Wonder Woman.

Though most of his comfort interests are straight from his childhood, there are a few things he enjoys from after that period. The most obvious examples would be Diana's taste in music (she's a likes hippie classic rock), Clark's favorite movies or shmultzy sitcoms like the partridge family, or his sons' favorite show, Star Trek (mostly Tim, but the others like it too).

They're not very physically affectionate usually, but sometimes Bruce likes to be held, especially when he's really upset. Usually they lay on the couch and he lays his head in Alfred's lap or on his shoulder.

Besides his comforter, he doesn't really have specific comfort items, like he doesn't have a teddy or paci initially. He does like to cuddle though, so he often carries pillows around with him.

Bruce and Alfred just aren't naturally affectionate, so they don't really have pet names. Bruce just sticks to Alfred or Al/Alf, maaaaybe Alfie if he's feeling incredibly small, but again he doesn't really talk anyway. Alfred just uses the normal terms of endearment, pretty much limited to "my dear boy", but if he's feeling soft he could go for "little one" or british-isms like "darling". Somewhere along the line after Clark encourages him to have a more happy regression experience, Bruce very rarely calls Alfred "pop". It's mostly because he would call Alfred "pops" in a 'you're old' type of way in his teen years, but it got mixed up in Bruce's baby brain as a genuine term. Alfred feels The Emotions Ever about it.

I might come back and add even more headcanons later or make a part two, but these are the base ones for now. I'm not even close to done lol, next up is baby Bruce with cg Clark!

[astermacguffin]

What if the Mark of Cain manifests differently when it's imprisoning God and not the Darkness? If the Darkness makes the Mark bearer go insane with unbridled want for destruction, then what does sealing God make you do?

An obsessive desire for creation? Creation to the point of corruption? (Think of the Shimmer from the film Annihilation. Continuous reproduction to the point of begetting alien, cancer-like entities. A refracted, distorted notion of creation.)

Okay, so canon divergence from The Trap. They successfully seal away Chuck, then Castiel bears the Mark. (Jack won't be back until later episodes, so he's not here yet.)

At first, they think he's fine. Cas says he's not feeling any bloodlust just yet. (He does feel a certain itch under his skin. Not a desire to murder, but a desire to do...something. He doesn't tell this to anyone.)

His grace is getting stronger, almost archangel-like (if not more). It's incredibly helpful for hunts, and Cas is happy to feel his wings healthy again after a long time. Sam is happy for him, but Dean is suspicious of things (especially since he's a previous Mark bearer).

After a while, Cas starts feeling...burdened, almost bloated by grace. (After all, he does have access to an infinite supply of it.) He needs to have an outlet for it.

Cas tells them so and Sam suggests healing people. Dean gives the green light on the condition that he remains invisible and he doesn't go Godstiel on them again.

It's a great outlet, and for the first few weeks they start feeling normal again. But unfortunately, healing stops being enough to relieve Cas of his excess grace anymore. The mass healings start to pile up all across the globe and it catches everyone's attention. Some think it's a blessed miracle, some think it's a sign of the end times. They make him slow down on the healings after that.

Without an outlet, however, Cas starts feeling antsy and pained. They brainstorm on possible alternatives. Cas suggests going to Heaven and saving it from collapse by healing his brethren's wings and creating more angels out of consenting souls in Heaven.

He explains Heaven's endangered and dwindling numbers. Sam agrees that it would hit two birds in one stone: relieve Cas from excess grace and prevent the extinction of angels. Dean doesn't like the idea of more winged dicks so he shoots down the idea. Eileen says that since Cas is the one in pain, he should be the one to decide.

Ultimately, Cas defers to Dean's judgment (as always). Sam protests, arguing that he can't just shoulder that pain. Cas replies: "I've suffered worse, Sam."

Cas doesn't complain about the pain for about a week, so for a while, everyone believes him when he said he can shoulder the pain. One day, Dean finds him outside the bunker, groaning in pain as he bleeds himself out, his grace pouring into the ground and sprouting plants. Dean sees this and is finally convinced to allow Cas to make more angels.

What follows then is a series of escalating events:

While Sam and Eileen are practicing their witchcraft for spell they need in a hunt, Cas suggests to enhance Sam's physical and magical abilities using his grace. "It will make the process faster and safer," he reasons. He agrees, but Dean eyes this suspiciously.

During one of their hunts, they encounter a young and freshly-turned vampire. The boy begs them not to kill him, and Cas gives him a proposal. "Promise not to feed on humans ever again and I shall cure you of your hungers and your pains. Pledge your allegiance to me and you shall never be afraid of yourself ever again." The boy agrees, and before Dean could even protest, Cas slices his palm and feeds the vampire his grace.

They argue about the grace-feeding in the Impala. Dean notices Sam's pointed lack of complaints and figures it out. "You're in on this, aren't you? How long has Cas been doing this? He's going Michael behind our backs and you're letting him?"

Sam argues that it's different because Cas isn't making super monsters; he's making them less "monstrous" (whatever that means). Sam's obsession with his own "purity" is key to understanding him here.

One time, Dean catches Cas in his "garden" ("forest" seems more apt with how lush the greens already are) creating butterflies and bees out of thin air using his grace alone.

Reports of the miraculously healed people suddenly gaining new abilities like increased strength, heightened senses, and prophecy start popping up. Some are experiencing phantom limbs, talking about their sprouting "wings."

Sam is becoming addicted to Cas' grace to the point that he willingly lets himself be hurt in hunts just so Cas can cure him. Dean confronts him about this, but Sam just argues that he's "never felt this pure before." Eileenn shares the same concern as Dean.

Hunts are becoming less frequent the more monsters are being "cleansed" by Cas. The world is becoming disconcertingly quiet.

Cas' "garden" is starting to emit this strange aura. The plants and creatures growing inside it are starting to look more...alien.

One of the original angels goes to Dean and tells him of Heaven's affairs. The Host is stable again, but the angels he created are...not exactly angels. They're graced up and they sustain Heaven, but their true forms are "horrifying and incomprehensible, even to an angel." The angel adds that more than 60% of Earth's creatures have already been touched by Cas' grace.

The final nail in the coffin is when Dean catches Cas in the garden fiddling with his angel blade. It's emitting a strange glow, vibrating a subtle hum and looking as if it's liquid, flowing and distorting here and there.

Dean asks him what he's holding. "Oh, this?" Cas responds. "This is the Last Blade. Last, not in terms of time but in concept, for no other blade shall ever compare to it. The spark of creation. Fiat lux."

Dean's heart sinks. Of course. The First and the Last, Alpha and Omega. "Cas...the Mark, I think i-it's scrambling your brain, man."

"I know," he replies, eyes wet and apologetic. It's a small moment of lucidity amidst weeks and months of...whatever that was.

"Okay, okay, so you're still you, that's... that's good. Okay." Dean doesn't know how to approach this. Give him a fight and he'll know what to do, but this? Watching his best friend, the love of his life, be distorted into something incomprehensible? Yeah, this is totally beyond him.

"You know, I used to hate Chuck," Cas says. "How could the Father of All Creation be this angry, petulant child? But," he continues, "knowing what I know now, it's either regressing into a petty child or being reduced to insanity."

"Cas...what are you talking about, man?"

"No mind should bear this burden, Dean. No matter how infinite they are," he says, voice trembling in exhaustion.

(more below the cut)

He continues. "The awareness of everything is the awareness of nothing at all. Imagine perceiving every possible piece of information about the world all at once. Seeing light in all its forms all at once: ultraviolet, infrared, etc. Sensing all the neutrinos zip by, sensing gravitational waves, sensing the slighest bit of seismic activity."

Dean doesn't know how to respond, so he lets him go on.

"Knowledge can only ever be a slice of the Totality of Truth. Truth is absolute chaos, and Knowledge is the partial ordering of this chaos. One can sanely approach Truth only through organized paritions of Totality. Why do you think Chuck is so obsessed with stories? Stories are linear and finite; they're sensible snippets of the endless sea of possible worlds."

"So, what? Are you trying to—"

"I'm not trying to justify Chuck's actions, Dean," he interrupts. "I just want to contextualize them. Chuck's simplistic and repetitive narratives are what they are: manifestations of a chaotic Totality, gone insane trying to understand itself. Looking for simple things to hold on to."

Cas takes a deep breath. He speaks with a shaky voice. "I'm barely holding myself together, Dean. I can feel the universe beneath my skin."

He doesn't know what possesses him to ask, but he does it anyway. "What are you holding on to?"

Cas smiles at that. "You."

They stare at each other for a while, frozen where they stand. Cas, with unrestrained affection in his face. Dean, struck by shock and indecision. It's Cas who first breaks the silence.

"I think we both know what needs to be done, while I'm still lucid enough." Cas slices his palm and lets his blood drip down the soil. He then thrusts the Last Blade into the ground, lifting it when the soil glows.

Dean stared in awe as the ground erupts and a familiar shape rises from the hollow. "Is that.."

"The Ma'Lak box, yes. I also enhanced it with the Blade to be able to house things as powerful as me."

"Cas, wait, maybe we can think of another way to—"

"Dean," he says, calmly. "You know there's no other way. I wouldn't ask this of you if there was."

In any other scenario, Dean would've kept arguing, but even he knows that they're running out of time. Sam's grace addiction is getting worse and all the creatures touched by Cas' grace are slowly mutating into eldritch horrors. Dean offers a shaky nod. "Okay."

Tension visibly releases from Cas' body. "Thank you, Dean." He opens the box and enters it with ease. "When you lock this, bury me with the garden's graced soil. Once I'm under, my influence over the world should dampen."

Dean gives a wordless nod. For a while, they just stared at each other, Cas lying down and Dean trying to memorize every inch of his face while he can.

Cas presses his hand into Dean's left shoulder where his mark used to dwell. "My untainted grace," he whisper gently. "Some of it is still inside you. That's probably why you're not as affected by me."

Dean wants to say, I'll always be affected by you, but he holds himself back.

He takes his hand back, a bloody handprint now on Dean's jacket. "I love you, Dean," he says, breathless.

"Cas..."

"I probably would've built up to that if we had more time but," he makes a surprised laugh, "I am, as you would say, already 'losing my marbles', so."

The air quotes would've been funny and endearing in any other scenario, but it just makes Dean's vision blur up with tears.

"Thank you for everything, Dean. I know we've done nothing but repeatedly hurt each other these past few years, but I don't want to spend a deathless eternity with that as my memory of you. I forgive you, even for the things you haven't forgiven yourself for yet. And I'm sorry for everything, especially for ending things like this."

He should probably wipe away his tears to clear his vision, but Dean can do nothing but stare at Cas in awe, in fear, in grief, in reverence. They're both fully crying now.

"Goodbye, Dean."

"Wait, Cas."

Cas looks at him, waiting.

"Can you...can you say it again?"

He doesn't need to clarify what 'it' means. They both know.

With one last mournful smile, Cas says: "I love you, Dean."

And with that, Dean finally gathers all the strength he needs to shut the lid and lock the box. He stares at it for a while, unblinking. He forgot to ask, Can you hear my prayers down there? But it's too late now to ask.

The box automatically lowers itself into the hole it arose from. Now all that's left to do is to cover it again with soil.

Dean doesn't bother with a shovel. He gently buries the box with his hands deep in the soil, some of it getting trapped under his nails. He continues the mindless task, whispering a tireless series of I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I hope you're okay I'm sorry, over and over between his quiet sobs. Cas is quiet inside the box. No screaming or crying. Dean doesn't know if that's better or worse.

When the final clump of soil is pressed into the mound, he suddenly feels it: a visceral shift that echoes throughout the world. The alien glimmer of the garden dims, and the world corrects its axis. Dean screams his agony into the air.

That's how Sam finds him: sprawled over a mound of soil, crying his heart out. Dean doesn't need to say anything: he knows what happened. He pulls his brother off the ground and brings him inside the bunker.

For the first two weeks, Dean cycles through drinking and passing out in various places in the bunker. If he's not wearing the jacket, he's holding it with close to him. Sam gives him a considerable space to grieve while he monitors the world grace problem with Eileen. The grace mutations have significantly dropped since then and everyone's going back to normal.

Unfortunately, that means monsters are getting hungry again. Sam doesn't want to leave his brother alone after going nonverbal with grief and dysfunctional due to alcohol. Eileen assures him that she can handle hunts on their own and that the hunter network that they're building will lessen the workload.

Sam's attempts to sober Dean up finally work, mostly due to the latter having very little strength to protest. Dean remains sober an entire day for the first time in weeks, and all he can think about is: I haven't prayed to Cas in a while. The longing might have reached him, but never a coherent prayer.

The first time he goes out of the bunker in a while, he heads straight to Cas' garden. Sam's glad that he's finally going out because "the sun is good for you" or something, but he's really only here for Cas. He kneels in front of the burial mound (where a patch of an unknown species of flowers is already growing).

The first prayer he says to him in a while is: I love you, Cas. I should've said it while you were still here. Not saying it out loud and just strongly thinking about the words somehow bolsters him to get the words through.

He's crying again, and he knows he's losing coherency. In his mind, he's explaining about his hangups and his regrets and his continuous denial of his own joy, but one constant remains: he's beaming all his love and affection into this prayer.

He's halfway through explaining all the traits that he finds endearing in Cas when suddenly, he feels it like a snap. If the glimmer dimmed when he buried Cas, now it's as if it was never there in the first place. With an unsettling amount of certainty, Dean just knows that Cas is gone. For real, this time.

"C-cas...?" It's the first thing he's said in a while and it sounds rough in his long unused voice.

"CAS! CAS!!! " He's now screaming, ripping away the flowerbed with his bare hands and scratching the soil away. Tears are obstructing his vision, but he has no time to wipe them away. He needs to make sure that is really gone. His hands are bleeding and he doesn't give a damn.

Eventually, Sam comes running towards him. "Dean! Dean, stop!"

He tries to hold his brother back, but Dean just keeps on clawing away soil. "Sammy, Sammy he's gone, he's not there anymore, Sammy I have to see, please, let me see Cas again, I need—" he breaks into sobs again, and like a puppet with its strings cut off, he slumps into Sam.

"Dean, it's okay, it's okay..." he says softly to his shaking brother.

Eventually, when Dean calms down, he looks at the carnage he's done and starts sobbing again. The flowers, his last evidence of Cas being here, are all destroyed. Now Cas truly is gone.

. . .

When Cas first heard Dean's confession prayer, he was overcome with joy. When he realized what that means, however, his stomach suddenly sinks.

He hears before he sees the Empty arrive, slithering like black goo.

"Wow, were you excited enough for eternal slumber that you wanted a preview?" The Shadow teases in Meg's voice.

At first, he was dreading the Empty, but now that he thinks of it, it's actually the perfect prison for him: a vast, endless nothingness for him to fill with his creations.

And if Jack wasn't in Heaven, that only means that he's in the Empty, and he can't wait to see his son again. Even when blinded by the madness of the universe, he can never forget the joy of being a father.

"Yes," he replies, "I'm actually glad you're here now."

. . .

Somewhere around the globe, Billie drops Jack back.

"Don't worry, kid. You'l reunite with your father very soon."

(to be continued)