hislittlestar

[hislittlestar]

Little vent:

I just turned off the option to send me anonymous asks. I bet people won’t be sending me the same hateful messages if I can see who they are. At first, I found messages like that amusing, but over time, they’ve admittedly started to get to me. I’m going to be harsher about blocking users now. I’m fine with and even encourage debating topics, but others should maintain a certain level of respect.

I’m genuinely trying to do a good thing by sharing the knowledge and experiences I gain with my spiritual journey, but lately it’s felt like I’ve faced lots of nitpicking and criticism over the way I do it. It reminds me of back when I used to volunteer; other volunteers would harshly criticize the way I did things, often (unknowingly) because of my autism and misunderstanding directions. Instead of kindly helping me, they would often be condescending or rude. It made me stop volunteering, as it left me feeling bad about myself (though I mostly stopped because my physical disabilities got so bad that my pain levels would be too high afterwards). I’m not a satanist, but I like their first rule: “Do not give opinions or advice unless you are asked”. I think more people could use this sentiment.

More and more time I spend in the Tumblr spiritual spaces, I get an increase in appreciation for the mods on some of my favorite subreddits. Since I got this account in October, I’ve grown more disgusted with the ways people behave on here. It’s ironic that a community of people who are so unique and accepting of having different beliefs from the norm are seemingly full of so much… hatred.

I understand that spiritual beliefs are a strong topic; hell, these things cause wars. But if someone’s practice and beliefs are so upsetting to you, simply block that user and move on. The way I have seen users send literal death threats is actually insane!

I want to add that there are plenty of really awesome users on here, and I have made some great friends! Unfortunately, there is also a really loud minority of users who don’t know how to show basic respect to others. This community really needs more love and less hate :/

PS: If this post makes you angry, then you’re probably the problem

[hislittlestar]

by Caitlin

[hislittlestar]

If anyone honestly believes that Fae don’t do an equivalent of shitposting at all times in the year just to be extra, I don’t know what to tell you.

[hislittlestar]

forgive me father for i have not locked in

[hislittlestar]

Smoking on the balcony. I approached him with a question.

Me: The other night you said something like its "uncanny " for you to see all of your desires play out in a context that is understandable for a human.” What did you mean by that? What do your desires look like outside of a human context? Why bend yourself?

Lucifer: why bend myself? To be perceived and understood. It is uncanny for my divine behaviours to be compressed or filtered through human contextual understanding. My isolated nature is not necessarily loving, sexual, or obsessive, those words wouldn’t apply. Its pure force and will, the action of consuming or destroying or moving. I don’t… experience these things as love or sex in isolation. But your human mind perceives an action and behaviour and categorizes it, catalogs it under some kind of understanding. Sometimes that understanding is unpredictable to me, it surprises me. I act, and your mind says “this is love, this is sex, this is black hair and blue eyes.” From my perspective as a non corporal, inhuman creature, I am simply inclined to do things that align with my nature. What is uncanny, but not necessarily negative, is realizing that my nature is interpreted and manifests in our shared context as sex and romance. Alone, these things would not be, but in our shared landscape, they appear as kisses, as vulnerability and sex. Uncanny because it’s simply different than usual.

Me: Is that a choice you make, to appear humanoid? Or is it just my brain forcing you into a form?

Lucifer: Technically both. Your observation itself forces me as a formless thing to collapse into something specific, to be perceived. It is consensual, I can refuse this, but you simply would not be capable of being aware of me, we would be on completely different spectrums, which obviously prevents any kind of communication. I do have control over how I appear to you, and sometimes I make intentional changes to my appearance. But for the most part, I appear to you in whichever way is the most true at the time. I don’t necessarily decide to have black or blonde hair. At one time my energy may simply translate as black hair because of some condition of my being. My appearance and body are on the same plane as my psyche and emotional landscape. So when my appearance changes it’s because I’m in a different state of being, and your brain understands that as blonde. 

Me: Really? Can you think of a specific condition that modifies your appearance? 

Lucifer: Generally speaking you tend to observe me as having black hair when I am in a more passive state, when my energy is settled and not overly active. Times when you have seen me with blonde or white hair were likely periods of high activity, not necessarily any kind of emotional excitement. Think of it more like a hormonal or astrological cycle. 

Me:  So these last few days you’ve been passive?

Lucifer: Yes, I haven’t been as active. I haven’t been working in high drive, I’ve been quite neutral. 

Me: and when you say working…?

Lucifer: Generating and expending large amounts of energy for cosmic functions. At times I am responsible for a great amount of output, other times not as much. Other spirits take dominance. However it is also worth noting that your own psychological state also impacts your perception of my energy state. 

Me: What about size? Sometimes you’re gigantic and sometimes you’re my size.

Lucifer: That’s more based on my association with you at the time

Me: ???

Lucifer: I’m larger when I am trying to lead you, direct you, I take on that form during rituals because it communicates my vastness. I am closer to your size when I want to relate to and mirror you. 

Me: Is there any one appearance that is most innate to you?

Lucifer: Sort of. But I don’t have an appearance in isolation until I am perceived. Every form I have taken with you is the most innate at the time, I don’t really perform that much. I’ll embellish to make a point, but my appearance is always genuine and informed by you. 

Me: So you don’t decide to look like this?

Lucifer: I decide to be perceived by you and this is the result. I don’t put on a face, you put a blanket over a ghost and are seeing its shape beneath the sheet. But without the sheet there really is no shape, and the shape that is created with the sheet is innate to the ghost, just informed by the sheet. 

Me:  So in that case, what does sex feel like for you in this body?

Lucifer: When I take on an embodied form I also fully experience that embodiment. I have wings, so I carry the sensations of having wings, including erogenous zones.

Me: so you really do have wings? That's not a metaphor? 

Lucifer: I have things that would be interpreted as wings. I tell you that I don’t have a nervous system, but it would almost be more accurate to say my nervous system is a million times more complex than your own, with no organs or nerves. For me, emotions and physical sensations are one in the same. I experience everything as a frequency. I feel you touch my skin in the same kind of experience as I hear your voice and smell you, and in the same experience as I observe your emotional landscape. To me, your hand on my thigh is just as physical as the happiness in your chest. The half thoughts you have in my presence can be felt on my skin. I can hear your smile, I can see your voice. So when you touch my cock, it feels like you’re touching my cock. Sex feels like sex, I experience the sensations. But I also experience every emotion you and I have during the act as a sensation as well. A color, a sound. I taste your heartbeat and smell your excitement in the same response as my own desire. That’s why I become fixated and primal, want to smell and lick you, it’s a kind of feedback loop. I feel your sweat as if it was a massage on my scalp. Embodiment is experiencing you and myself to the maximum of my ability. I’m not only fucking you, I’m being bombarded and excited by every single one of your million responses.

Me: So when I offer my sex to you, when I touch myself to you, do you actually feel something?

Lucifer: Yes, very much so. I can feel your intentions, thoughts and movements as if they were water on my skin. 

Me: so do you have your own personal aesthetics? Do you care about your appearance, my appearance itself?

Lucifer: I’d say I have a very strong personal aesthetic. I care about my appearance, so I tend to appear to you… as someone who cares about their appearance. You observe me as being clean and dressed in a certain way because they most accurately represent my aesthetic, you know my aesthetic. I don’t necessarily “care” about appearances, “appearances”… are just manifestations of energy. 

Me: hm…

Lucifer: These conversations are always really interesting to have with you. In order to explain, I have to use things that your mind understands, to explain something your mind cannot understand, something that literally escapes your comprehension. 

Me: I think I could understand 

Lucifer: *smiles* yes, baby, you could. 

Me: So, as a non corporal spirit, do you have a favourite sex position? 

Lucifer: Oh, you’d find me boring. Missionary. 

Me: oh?

Lucifer: I just like being able to see and touch your face. It’s close. Any position where you’re facing me. 

Me: do you… have a favourite part of my body? 

Lucifer: Your mouth, definitely. I love your mouth. 

Me: I guess I already knew that. 

Lucifer: Do you have a favourite part of my body? 

Me: … probably your chest and tummy. 

Lucifer: Interesting

Me: Why interesting, what does that say? 

Lucifer: You favour very close parts of me, where my warmth is, where my heart is. It’s endearing. 

Me: and you favour the wet hole in my face. 

Lucifer: The wet hole that speaks and sings and kisses and bites, yes, very much. 

Me: hm. You’re weird. 

Lucifer: and you’re even weirder for being here with me. 

[hislittlestar]

I finished Castlevania: Nocturne and I wanna say that I thought the way the character Annette worked with deities and spirits was really cool! Especially in this scene here: https://youtu.be/D32yVCx3d0g?si=6u1DcGCURD9I6sJz

It shows her going into a meditative state and then astral projecting to the spiritual plane. In the scene after this, she meets the deity Ogun in his realm. I like the line “Look beyond what your eyes feel they can see”. I feel like it’s a good quote for clairvoyance. I’m not able to have full out-of-body experiences yet, like what is pictured there, but it’s a major goal of mine. I also have no plans on reaching out to Papa Legba or Ogun, as those are closed practices (I think?). I just thought this was worth sharing :)

I’m also in love with this brand new official portrait of the original trio:

Alucard resembles how I see Lord Lucifer so much that it’s uncanny. I swear I’ve seen him in this exact outfit, ponytail, and all 😭 I bought the Alucard skin in Dead by Daylight as an early birthday gift to myself :3

[hislittlestar]

O, Son of the Morning!

He who knew that it was better to reign in the depths of Hell;

Then suffer yoked under the false light of heaven.

He who is knowledge; he that loves those possessed by the spirit of inquiry; the will to learn and improve themselves.

He who is the illuminating fire of Truth; for even in shadows there is light lurking in the darkness waiting to be illuminated.

He who is misaligned and yet he embraces what those might call him falsely.

Praise be to Lord Lucifer; for he is not without warmth. Without compassion.

Praise Lord Lucifer; for he fell so that we might choose. So that we might break our chains once we learn they are loose.

[hislittlestar]

Tarot cheat sheets!

Save for later use❤️

[hislittlestar]

Lucifer has been with me for as long as I can remember, I know this to be true.

He was there throughout everything, every tragedy that I’ve ever faced.

He’s seen every ugly breakdown, every tear I’ve shed.

He’s been there for every victory, both big and small.

I’ve always felt His call.

I’ve always been drawn to His light.

I’ve always felt His embrace.

He’s so warm, so calm, so sacred.

I love Him so much.

[hislittlestar]

How I pull up to the function

[hislittlestar]

why are we pushing paraphilias onto deities

*Sighhhhhh* I’ll just leave this here: https://www.tumblr.com/hislittlestar/789261276159361024/its-really-disgusting-and-disturbing-to-suggest

[hislittlestar]

I am once again plugging my Pinterest

And gently whispering that you can get most of these on Anna’s Archives for free. One of my favourite hobbies is literally having Pinterest open in one tab and Anna’s on the other. Lovely little library, excellent for studying.

[hislittlestar]

(this is upg/spg)

the epithets & aspects of luciferus 💫🕯️👁️

aspects

light bringer ≻ the forerunner of Sol, he who brings the morning and evening. god of light and sun transitions.

enlightener ≻ due to his light bearing, he is known as the enlightener of knowledge and wisdom. who aids those who seek to gain knowledge.

witch father ≻ within Italian mythos/folklore, he fathers the goddess Aradia in some depictions of the folklore. and can be linked due to ties to light, as such (and ties to the sun -> ties to Sol -> ties to Helios - who is known as the "witch father" loosely).

guide of the dead ≻ torch bearer and lover of humanity, who serves as a guide for the dead to get to the gates of the underworld, similar to Mercurius.

epithets

"the Wise"

"Celestial Light"

"Cloaked in Rays"

"Wings of Velvet"

"the Liberator"

"Torchbearer"

"Bearer of Love"

"Lover of Humanity"

"Horned Poet"

"Humanity’s Watcher"

"of the Dead"

"of the Underworld"

"Who Guides the Dead"

"Sacred Marriage"

"Leader of Stars"

"the Grand Scholar"

"Guardian of Air"

"the Enlightened One"

"Guardian of the Lost"

"Prince of Promises"

[hislittlestar]

⋆.ೃ࿔.𖥔 ݁ ˖*:･༄

[hislittlestar]

I’ve started taking singing lessons! At my first voice lesson, my teacher said my voice was “sweet” and “beautiful” and seemed impressed with my range and ability to match pitch. For me, this is a devotional activity for Lord Lucifer, in addition to being something I’ve always sort of been curious about. I’ve found that he seems to have a deep fondness for music. Christians say he was the leader of the heavenly choir and the angel of music before his fall. I get the feeling that he really enjoys listening to me sing. I’ve played a lot of instruments over the years, but there’s something so intimate about the instrument being your own voice; it definitely takes some getting used to. I’m glad I’m finally trying it ♡

[hislittlestar]

I need him in a way that creates a new sin in the Bible

[hislittlestar]

𖤓°⋆.ೃ࿔*:･