#how have the japanese lessons been going? you should have had 8? classes by the time you read this

[divorcetual]

I am happy because everyone loves me ^.^

[quirklessidiot]

title : cigarettes and parfaits [3] pairing : older!nanami kento x younger!reader [13 year age gap, ft toji fushiguro] Genre: romance, fluff, slice of life, josei, angst, comedy, strangers to lovers au

Summary: you’re pretty sure you’d remember marrying a man 13 years older than you, right?

Warnings: alcohol, smoking, mild smut, y/n making stupid decisions, everyones a human-au so yeh non-canon stuff and everyone’s happy (periODT) i keep forgeting to add that this isnt beta-rread..all of my stories arent so yeah shshs Notes: ah, i feel like this story will be lengthen more than 8-10 chapters shshshs i wanted to add a little spice anyways thanks for all the comments uwu ily all!

Masterlist || taglist || [prev ; next] [updates; every saturday!]

“Y/N-chan!!!”

You cringe in embarrassment as soon as you hear that awfully familiar and cheerful voice, you could barely remember this man and the events that transpired the night before but here he was, acting like your new best friend. You weren’t even sure if you wanted to go here but you needed clarity. Surely you didn’t just legally marry a man at an Izakaya out of all places last night?

“Oh, you actually did marry him.” Gojo Satoru proclaims as soon as you take a seat across him, he gestures around his face, “I could tell by your whole, ‘I hope this guy is messing with me’ face. You have it, signed and sealed. Even got the cute matchy rings that I had one of my assistants delivered.”

You pale at the thought of his assistant coming in with a silver ring. Wasn’t he sober? How could he not have stopped you two from doing something as reckless and stupid as this? Weren’t older men supposed to be more responsible than this?

“Why the hell didn’t you stop us?” You groaned, burying your face in your hands, embarrassment painted all over your features.

“I was just as drunk as you two.” He confessed, scratching his head, “probably even more drunk but anyways back to the topic in hand, I only remembered it when the same assistant came in and congratulated me about it. It’s good I had your number on my phone before you two bailed.”

“So you don’t really remember?”

“Bits and pieces.” Gojo grinned, this guy was a maniac, how did the serious man you met just this morning have friends like this? You probably wouldn’t even last long, “I did call Nanami-”

He’s cut off by the rough sound of someone pulling a chair out, you immediately jump on your seat when you realize it’s Nanami Kento, the guy from this morning. The man you had recklessly married!

“This better be some prank you’re pulling, Satoru.” His voice was anything but kind that you almost wanted to hide behind Gojo’s back.

“Hey, hey.” Gojo raises his hands, “Don’t look at me. I didn’t force you into anything and stop scaring your poor little partner.”

Nanami snaps his gaze towards you and you notice how his eyes soften just a bit when he sees your red ears and your eyes looking away from him, “You better call Geto and fucking fix this, I refuse to bother this young-”

“It’s fine.” You cut him off, still shy and red, “It’s...fine...I just…Please don’t think I’m burdened by it. It was technically my fault for even agreeing immediately.”

Nanami clenches his jaw and turns away, “Nevertheless. L/N-san’s young. I hope to not be such an uncouth man like you.” he retorts, voice sharp as he eyes the white-haired businessman up and down. Gojo, seemingly used to it, rolls his eyes behind his dark shades.

“Maybe you guys should try it out.”

The blonde man looks like he’s about to smite the white-haired man out of existence yet Satoru remains oblivious to his friend’s gaze, “Don’t ya think so? It will take a while for those divorce papers to settle in so why don’t you two go out and get to know each other? Who knows…” he sing-songs the last part and Nanami is so close to chunking his briefcase towards the tall businessman, not even caring 

“Ah, he’s not exactly wrong, Nanami-san.” you try to calm him down, placing a small hand on his broad shoulder.

“Don’t tell me you’re actually listening to this idiot’s idea.” Nanami replied, gaze narrowing.

“Not really but you have some problems I can help you out on and I have problems that you can help me out on...Of course, the last say is on you...”

“Told you I actually had a brain.” Satoru piped in.

“Shut up, Satoru.” he quips, then turns to you, “I’m thirteen years older than you, L/N-san. I have two high school kids that could pass off as your siblings, and-”

“Well, I technically did marry you.”

“You were drunk.”

“Doesn’t exactly really excuse it.” You laugh nervously, “The whole divorce process usually lasts up to a few months, some even takes a whole year. I could help you out with the boys and I can use you to ward my family off from moving back home.”

Nanami is quiet for a moment, actually thinking about it. Weighing the pros and the cons, not only would you be able to help him out but you’d also be able to get Gojo and blind-dating out of his back.

There really wasn’t anything he could loose, really.

“Or you two might fall in love.” Satoru teases, making Nanami throw him another side-eye, as if saying ‘I dare you to say another word.’

It’s a Thursday today and Sukuna absolutely loathed Thursdays     apparently because it reminded him of Mondays, Tuesdays, and Wednesdays. They all were far from the weekend     Everyone seems to be happier than usual though. Maybe it was because you were there teaching some basic shit at the board or something.

“...and if we transfer this here and change the positive to a negative, you’ll end up having five as your answer.” You smile, placing your chalk down, “Does anyone have any questions?”

Echoes of no’s resonated throughout the room.

“Alright then, let’s end the lesson here so you guys can have an early lunch. I don’t think an assignment is in order since many of you were able to get a perfect score in the activity awhile ago.” You winked. A couple of whoops resonated throughout the whole class right after. 

As the kids shuffle out of the room of the class, Sukuna remains behind. The ojisan had cooked them something delicious this morning and he wanted to eat it in peace without that pesky Nobara grabbing a share from his bento and Yuuji’s annoying babbles about horror movies with his best friend Junpei (the only one who was really bearable was Megumi, really)

“Sukuna-kun?” you called out, snapping him out of his small trance,  “Are you alright?”

He notices a glint of worry in your eyes, he had to admit since his transfer here last Monday, you were the least annoying teacher in the academy     the blue-haired professor in Japanese literature was absolute shit since he loved to tease him a lot and that bald-headed teacher in science who looked a lot like Mike Wazowski was an annoying twerp who loved dawdling in him and Yuuji’s business     and you were kind of good at your job. Not only did his idiot of a brother stop coming to him and their ojisan for help in math but he could actually do the worksheets right and get an actual decent grade at it.

“Yeah.” he roughly replies.

“That’s good.” You smiled, he watched as you bind their worksheets together and clip them in utmost delicacy, “You should head to the cafeteria now, I heard they’re serving milk bread today.”

Without saying anything more, you left the room, leaving him there in the silence.

Well, the Christmas tree idiot was right.

You kind of had a motherly aura on you and it didn’t even look forced.

No wonder, everyone in this room was whipped for you despite your subject being a pain in the ass.

“You look like an idiot.” You mumbled as you slapped Mahito’s hand away in annoyance, your workmate wiggling his eyebrows like the little shit he is.

You completely forgot you did have someone like Gojo Satoru in your life and it was one of your co-workers, Mahito, a Japanese literature teacher who was too nosy for his own good.

“You’ve got a ring on your ring finger and a mailman comes in and gives you an invite for Zen’in Toji’s fortieth birthday.” he whistles, “Even Jogo-sensei gossiped by the water cooler awhile ago, saying that you had eloped with the man. Not that I’m judging you or anything...”

You choke on your saliva, clearly thrown off by the backhanded comment. That darn bald-headed fool that looked like the green eyed monster from the DreamWorks cartoon, he sure needed to lay off the gossip and actually focus on his job as the head of the science department, “You’re not denying it.” Mahito stated, narrowing his eyes in suspicion, “Why aren’t you denying it?”

“I’m not dating Megumi-kun’s father.” You grumbled, finishing up your paperwork, “That man is off limits.”

“Right,” he drawls on sarcastically, “...because you have a strict rule against dating hot older men with money.”

“I also teach his kids and his cousin…” You deadpan.

“We don’t even have a rule against that.” He retorts, rolling his eyes, “If we did, Hanami-sensei would’ve been fired a long time ago.”

“You’re an asshole.”

“And you’re so secretive. If it isn’t Toji Zen’in, who’d ask you out?”

“Hey, I do have a man.” You huffed, “and he’s very kind and considerate...”

The image of the tall and lean man sleeping next to you slowly wormed its way back from your memory and you feel your cheeks start to flush. Good god, what were you? twelve? How embarrassing.

You needed to get that image off of your head, it wasn’t right.

It was all temporary, anyways and he doesn’t even see you in that sort of way-

“Yes, I’m Sukuna and Yuuji Itadori’s guardian…” a very familiar stoic voice could be heard from the nearby table, cutting your thoughts short. Wait, were you so head over heels for the man that you started imagining him here? Yuuji and Sukuna’s guardian? Wait a minute.

All color drained from your face as you snap your head behind you to find the same man you were imagining.

Oh no.

Oh no, indeed.

There stood Nanami Kento in all his glory;  crisp suit, stoic face, and eyes laced with mild worry.

“...L/N-sensei is Sukuna-kun’s adviser, by the way. It would be best to discuss this with them.” Akari somberly informed the man, turning to your direction. You don’t miss the shift of expressions when he sees you standing there.

Your mouth parts and you know you look like gawking fish trapped in a small aquarium.

“Akari-sensei’s looking at you with the new hot daddy.” Mahito mumbles next to you, eyeing him up and down, “Definitely wonder where all these old men come from these days.”

You were only half-listening to your co-worker because your head was all over the place, just what were the odds that he was the guardian of the new transferee’s? Just how awkward would everything be? Why did it even have to be at this school out of all places?

Never ending questions pop out of your head as you approached them, “Good afternoon, Nanami-san.” Your smile comes out very stiff and awkward while you hold your hand out for him to shake, clearly there was no memo on how you were suppose to act around your sort-of-fake-husband-whos-kids-you-actually-taught.

Nanami reverts back to his stoic expression as he clears his throat, “Yes, good afternoon to you too, L/N-sensei.” he greets, maintaining a straight-laced tone.

“Akari-sensei says that Sukuna has been quite...rude...in class…” you try to rack your brains up to describe his kid.

“Your son literally pointed out that the history lesson I was teaching was fake and that I should study again so he could get his tuition’s worth.” Akari looks clearly perplexed and ready to throttle the boy if it was legal. You had to admit, Sukuna went overboard with that insult.

You knew how passionate Nitta was about her job and what Sukuna just said to her was like a big ‘fuck you, you suck.’ to her.

“I’ll be sure to talk to him about this,” he sighs, bowing down, “I’d like to ask for forgiveness for that, the boy is a good and smart student-”

“Nanami-san, the school not only cares about grades but character as well.” Akari Nitta sighed, cutting him off, “I’ll let this slide once, if he does that again, it goes on the record.”

You internally bit your cheek, still trying to process everything that was going on.

“I understand. Thank you for that.”

“I’ll walk him out, sensei.” You immediately say soon after, wanting to have some alone time with him, “Let’s go, Nanami-san.”

You walk right next to him silently, some students peerlessly glancing at the tall blonde next to you but you were too immersed in thought to notice the stares, “Nanami-san?” you ask softly as soon as you reach the exit.

Nanami Kento looks at you, his eyes still laced with a bit of worry, “It’s okay.” you silently comforted him, “Just talk to him calmly.”

“That’s not the problem.” he sighed, “I just didn’t expect that the person I married would be the boy’s teacher.”

You sweat drop, “Aren’t you worried about talking to Sukuna? I mean, he literally just disrespected a teacher and you said that he and you weren’t in good-”

“It’s easier to talk to him about that rather than…” he paused, showing his ring, “this.”

You blinked.

Seemed like Nanami knew what to say about the little attitude problem his son had, “So you must be used to this?” you asked, “Him disrespecting the teacher?”

You notice the shift of expressions on his face, you had only known this man for a few days so far but he was starting to get easier to read. His eyes shed more emotion than his face, no wonder he likes wearing those funny sunglasses a lot.

“It’s something I’ve scolded him over a couple of times,” he gruffed, trying to dance around the subject, it seemed like he had such a soft spot to the point where he had a problem with disciplining them, “At times I believe it’s just because he’s way too smart for his age. The boy has read history books for fun when he was a kid and solved quadratic equations to prove that he’s better than me when he was ten.”

“It still doesn’t give him the free pass to say things like that to a teacher”

“I know,” he acknowledged, “I’ll be sure to give him a better scolding-”

“No, you see. This is why he thinks he can get away with it. He isn’t afraid of you. You’ll only probably tell him that you can’t do that.” you frown, crossing your arms, “You do know that not all sensei’s are as nice as Akari-sensei and he could get in trouble for that even more in the future, right?”

Silence lingered between you two for a moment and suddenly you realize that you must’ve said something way off the rails.

“I..” you turn red, embarrassed by the sudden outburst, “That was too much, wasn’t it?”

You look at him directly in the eye, the worry-filled ones are now replaced with a softer gaze. God, he really needed to stop looking at you like a kid. It would only make this set-up more awkward!

“No,” he mumbles, “It...It wasn't too much…”

“Oh.” you cleared your throat, flustered and looking away from his face, “Well, okay then goodbye then Nanami-sa-”

You needed to get out of this conversation quick.

“Kento.”

Your gaze snaps directly towards him, clearly taken aback by the correction.

“What?”

“We’re technically married now, right?” he softly corrected, “Call me Kento.”

“Oh,” You uttered again, this time softly. You looked down on your shoes, it seemed like the floor looked really interesting now, “Then bye-bye, Kento.”

“Bye Y/N.”

He leaves you standing there, cursing yourself because of your erratic heartbeat at the way he says your name in that voice. First name basis? okay, totally normal for sort-of lovers, right?

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[dry-valleys]

"It already ranks among the finest parks in the world. It is the resort of thousands. It is the playground of the children, the festal garden of youths and maidens, the recreation of the worker, the solitude of the thinker, the parade of wealth and fashion, the object lesson of artists, and in many ways it ministers to the studies of men of science” Claus Spreckels.

The Japanese Tea Garden at Golden Gate Park (please see my other posts for a recap of its history).

The city of San Francisco was founded in its modern form on 29 June 1776 1776 by Spanish colonists, who displaced and tried to “civilise” the native Americans who had lived here for thousands of years. (The United States of America was, of course, founded five days later; the two groups did not overlap though).

The Mexicans, who were ethnically a mix of Spanish and native blood (it’s hotly disputed how much, and some claim to be purely one or the other, but few of them would be willing to do a DNA test!), won their independence from Spain in 1821 and California was part of their state.

The United States of America was expanding into lands claimed by natives and Mexicans, and in 1846-8 the Mexican-American War happened as a result of this. The USA won, and this lead to California becoming a state of the USA in 1850, which of course it still is.

By coincidence, gold was struck here in 1849 and, especially after the coming of railways in 1860, there was a steady flow of white Americans, Irish, Jews, Chinese, Japanese, African-Americans and others.

(Spreckles himself, who donated the Temple of Music in 1900 with the fortune he had made from the sugar trade, was from Germany and said that the park should be “rendered free to all and under circumstances that would make it attractive to rich and poor alike).

Inevitably, anti-immigration campaighs began soon after 1850, though none of their leaders asked the Native Americans- who really were disposessed, conquered and diseased by newcomers- for their views. The working classes of all ethnic groups did not havea sense of solidarity but saw other groups as a threat; one of the saddest, though you couldn’t call it unexpected, was seeing Charles McGlashan (1847-1931) try to rally the Irish working class against the slightly newer Chinese working-class.

A sort of proto-Trump, McGlashan also claimed to be against the city’s elite but his campaigns mysteriously never touched them, only the Chinese against whom there were regular race riots.

Despite this, and the tensions between Chinese and Japanese and between all Asians and the anti-Asians, this tea garden was laid down in 1894 by George Turner Marsh (himself an immigrant, from Australia). 

In 1915 the highly successful Panama Pacific Exhibition was held, to celebrate recovery from the earthquake of 1906 (which had little impact on this park, but please see here for a full account of it) and while the exhibition was not buit to last (though see here for a part of it that still stands), parts of it were brought here and enriched the garden further.

The worst time for Japanese Americans came between 1942 and 1945 when they were interned. (Thankfully no harm was done to this garden, though it was renamed the Oriental Garden before going back to its true name in 1952).

Although the USA was at war with Japan, it can only have been racism that led to their internment when Americans who were ethnically German or Italian suffered no such treatment.

Thankfully, after the allies (including the USA) won World War 2, a new dawn of racial harmony began. The Buddha, cast in Japan in 1799, was brought here in 1949 to mark gthis friendship and he smiles down in a new landscape garden with a moon bridge, laid down in 1953.

Asians have left a big mark on San Francisco, having been here almost the whole time since 1850, and the area in which I stayed, Portola, is now majority-Asian; many Buddhist, but also many Christians alongside whom I worshipped on Palm Sunday. Yes, the city has come on by leaps and bounds and is far more accepting than it was in 1850 or in 1942, as I can’t wait to remind myself.

[floatservices]

wrong numbers/right answers

iwaizumi hajime/reader wc: 3.9k 

When Hajime had started catching feelings for the mystery number, he'd rationalised that it could never be you. Slowly but surely, his mystery texter had been getting him out the slump Iwaizumi had been feeling over his unrequited feelings, and instead of wondering about you, he was wondering when the next mystery number text would come.

But now you're her and she's you and his brain is going to explode. He doesn't have enough brain cells for this.

Curse this stupid, stinking crush.

“You've been on that damn phone for, what, 30 minutes now?” Iwaizumi growls, waving Oikawa's less than impressive test score across said boy’s face. “What are you, texting a new girlfriend?”

“Iwa-chan, I'm flattered you think I have a new girlfriend!” Oikawa’s ecstatic, typing with one hand and snatching away the sheet away with the other. “But no, I'm just trying to have a good time with our favorite classmate,” Oikawa metaphorically dangles you in front of him, and smirks as his friend’s eyes widen. “Oho, I’ve got your attention now, have I?”

Iwaizumi wrinkles his nose, trying to get the test back. “Shut up, shittykawa. If I knew her better, I'd apologize to her because she has to deal with the likes of you.”

The spiker makes a wild lunge for the test paper, because they came to his house to study, not so his disgraceful excuse of a best friend could tease him about a girl, but Oikawa leans just out of reach, his long arms stretching as far as they could.

“You wound me, Iwa-chan.” Oikawa chuckles, shuffling the paper under the cushion he was sitting on. “My test score wasn’t that bad, anyways-“

“You call a 52% a good grade?!”

“Well, it's a pass, isn’t it? I have more important things on my mind, anyways, like beating Ushiwaka, texting my favorite girl in class, don’t you have something to do? Oh, wait! I forgot that you were-”

“Shittykawa," Iwaizumi cuts in, a seething expression on his face, but Oikawa pays no mind. "If you finish that sentence-“

“-Socially awkward! You can’t even talk to her without blushing! But funny how that doesn’t happen when you talk to anyone else like that, hmm, Iwa-chan?”

Hajime gets up and launches himself across the chabudai, tackling Oikawa, a fist raised.

__

It’s 8am when Iwaizumi gets a text.

From: ??? To: You rinrin this is you right!?? buddy???!! pls send me ur jpnese lit hw I NEED HELP otherwise tatsuya-sensei will have me impaled bro my entrails will be sacrificed to whoever the hell Yamada Kai was, helpppp!

There’s a string of different crying emojis after that, which Iwaizumi finds adorable. He doesn’t know who this is, but it’s obvious that the poor guy went to Aoba Johsai. The woman who taught Japanese Literature was famous around the school for being a harsh marker and a harsher teacher style. They’d been studying Yamada’s works so far, and Iwaizumi expects whoever sent it was panicking- it was 8, school started 8:30, and English was their second lesson of the day (or it was for tomorrow, because Classes 3-4 didn’t have Literature today, but Iwaizumi assumes it’s today, otherwise they wouldn’t be this distraught.)

He glances at his watch- he had a few minutes to spare. He fishes his work out his bag, and he thanks God he's used his best handwriting (Tatsuya-sensei had caused quite the scene photocopying his work last time, showing off to the entire Class-2 how “insufferably illegible” his print was,) hoping whoever was behind the screen could read it. He takes a quick picture of it, making sure it’s not blurry and the script is clear before sending it off and hurrying out of his house.

To: Crying Emoji lmao From: You [sent: IMG20151219] you’ve got the wrong number but i’m from seijou too. this is the worksheet you mean?

From: Crying Emoji lmao To: You aaa i’m so sorry for sending it to the wrong number!

but yes, it is the right one! thank you so much, i owe you one, mystery man!

Oikawa’s waiting for him outside as always, and Iwaizumi deliberately speeds up so he can walk past. Behind him, Oikawa makes a sort of whine from the back of his throat, quickening his pace to fall in next to him.

“What’s gotten you so cheery?” Oikawa asks, and Iwaizumi realizes he’s been smiling. He replaces it with a scowl, quickly shoving his phone in his pocket so Oikawa can’t get anymore curious.

“It’s no thanks to you.” Iwaizumi quips, and Oikawa pouts.

Iwaizumi only risks a reply when he gets to school, because Oikawa Tooru will never shut up if he sees him texting someone that is so obviously a girl.

To: Crying Emoji lmao From: You how do you know it's a guy..? for all you know i could be a girl, you know.

He gets a reply soon after.

From: Crying Emoji lmao To: You well, if you are a girl, i'm sorry!! i didn't mean anything  by it... also i kinda assumed you were a guy because of your handwriting.

He should be offended by that, right? Right. He’s offended by it. He's about to defend himself when his phone buzzes with another message.

From: Crying Emoji lmao To: You SHIT I'M SO SORRY THAT WAS RUDE TO SAY!! I BET YOU WON'T TALK TO ME ANYMORE

IT'S UNDERSTANDABLE IF YOU DO...

He blinks, an ungraciously amused smile making it's way onto his face. He leaves his phone alone for the school day, because his teacher has just walked in. He figured he'd reply to you after school, just before volleyball.

It's kind of a mistake, because he comes back to 12 more messages, each message reading a variant of "I'm sorry," the amount of sincerity in each message growing as the hours passed by. He figures it's time to ease the stranger out her misery, and begins typing his reply.

To: Crying Emoji lmao From: You no need to get worked up on it, lmao   you planned on talking to me again?

While waiting, he has enough time to go to the clubroom early and change out of his school uniform to his jersey. He's halfway through fixing one half of his laces when his phone pings.

From: Crying Emoji lmao To: You it's because i thought i owed you one.... but i guess if you don't want to talk it's okay lol

To: Crying Emoji lmao From: You i hope it's not me that offended you this time. i do want to talk. you seem... cool?

He hits the send button, rereads it, and recoils. That sounds awkward.

Iwaizumi starts typing more.

To: Crying Emoji lmao From: You besides, you don't know me. how are you gonna give back (whatever. i don't know how! you're the  one that wants to owe me.) if you don't even know me?

From: Crying Emoji lmao To: You won't it be funner if it's a mystery?

i guess... we could help each other out! anytime we need hw help we just call each other, like a private help line.

(also, why the question mark? of course i'm cool!)

To: Crying Emoji lmao From: You i think that sounded less creepy in your head.  

(sure, you're cool. [heavy sarcasm, if you can't tell.])

To: You From: Crying Emoji lmao

is that a no?

(rude!)

Iwaizumi stares at the screen. Well, he didn't really mind. And whoever this was sounded pretty trustworthy, and not a random creep that pretended to be a Seijou student in their free time. His time to deliberate is cut short, because Oikawa slams the clubroom doors open, singing a Christmas carol Iwaizumi didn't recognise, along with Hanamaki and Matsukawa, who were discussing what kind of forfeit Oikawa had to pay today if he didn't set as well as he should; ramen or oden?

To: Crying Emoji lmao From: You fuck why not

i'll be looking forward to... being helped out? bye.. i'll talk later.  

my best friend is here and i'm not ready for him to annoy me straight to satan's asscrack.

Iwaizumi whips the phone away from Oikawa's line of vision, only letting him see his asscrack remark. (It backfired, because Oikawa spends all of the time from putting his shoes on to the start of practice whinging.) The boys slowly file out of the clubroom, Kunimi shutting off the lights as the door softly clicks closed.

Iwaizumi's phone lights up in his blazer pocket, a simple "see you later!" on the screen that brightens the whole room up.

___

It's two weeks later when Iwaizumi needs the help he's been promised. He opens up his chat- they'd just been talking last night about Seijou's annual fair, and what they each were going to do.

To: Crying Emoji lmao From: You hey english is kicking my ass

can you help a me out please

To: You From Crying Emoji lmao ofc !! what do you need help with

i would let u copy my answers but i feel like you actually have to learn english at some point phone-chan lol

To: Crying Emoji lmao From: You the english were on crack when they

made up their language i swear

does the sentence "the star shine brightly" work

To: You From: Crying Emoji lmao

LMFAO

weh that's a trick question

"shone" is for no object and "shined" is for when here's no object. so like shone works for 'light' and shined can be for like

a car headlight

To: Crying Emoji lmao From: You what the hell

To: You From: Crying Emoji lmao ikr english is crazy

you also forgot the "d" at the end lol

To: Crying Emoji lmao From: You that one is on me that's simple

but the other thing isn't. aren't the both shining anyway? what's the point in having two. i hate this devil language i swear

To: You From: Crying Emoji lmao

if it helps no one really cares and i think

you could get away with either english has a lot of rules and no one follows them sooooo... it's whatever!!

To: Crying Emoji lmao From: You

try telling that to fukuoda-sensei i swear that guy has a grudge against me or smthn

To: You

From: Crying Emoji lmao WAHAHAHA i had him last year.... he literally hates fun i don't think i've ever seen him smile

good luck with that phone-chan :P

To: Crying Emoji lmao From: You

one last question btw

To: You From: Crying Emoji lmao

ooh okay shoot!

To: Crying Emoji lmao From: You what's 好きな食べ物は揚げ出し豆腐 in english

To: You From: Crying Emoji lmao ...

To: Crying Emoji lmao From: You don't tell me you don't know :(

To: You From Crying Emoji lmao phone-chan, if i say i'll make your agedashi tofu for the festival tmrw will you please stop making vague hints  towards it for the rest of the night?

To: Crying Emoji lmao From: You :)

To: You From Crying Emoji lmao the things i do for you, phone chan!

___

"Iwa-chan, don't eat too much." Oikawa says, blinking as he tries to process the sheer amount of beancurd his friend is wolfing down.

"Says the person who hogged all the milk bread once." Iwaizumi retorts, rolling his eyes. "This is one plate of tofu, unlike when you once wasted 2000 yen to buy the school's entire daily stock of milk bread so you could eat it." He pauses to finish another cube of his favourite food. "And school milk bread doesn't even taste that great."

"It was cheap, Iwa-chan!" Oikawa tries to defend himself. "Makki, Matssun, help me out here!"

Matsukawa only shrugs, and when prompted by Oikawa to give a 'real' answer, he sides with Iwaizumi, apologizing sheepishly.

"Sorry to admit it Captain," He chuckles, "But I don't really like school food anyways."

Iwaizumi shoots Oikawa a teasing smirk, and Oikawa's just about to say something when Hanamaki pipes up.

"I like it," Makki makes a non-committal gesture, and Oikawa looks happy with that. "I mean, sure, school food isn't that great but I think the milk bread is the only good thing about it."

"Like striking gold in a coalmine!" Oikawa nods his approval, and Iwaizumi just sighs. Looking around, he spots you out of the corner of his eye, looking as good as usual and serving a few parents and students. He knows he can't call you because he'd end up sweating through his blazer, so he asks another classmate instead.

"Okuhara-kun," He calls, waving to a boy in his class. "Do you know who made the tofu?"

The boy shakes his head. "Whoever it was came early to drop it off. It had a note with it though."

This gets Iwaizumi's attention. She'd left something for him? "Oh? What did it say?"

"Uh- this is an exact quote, by the way- 'Phone-chan, don't you dare!'" Okuhara replies, drawing out quotation marks in the air. When Iwaizumi lets out a loud laugh, he takes it for disbelief.

"Is it... really that funny?" He questions, looking bemused.

Hajime grins. "Not really."

____

To: Crying Emoji lmao From: You you didn't even drop any hints!

all you gave me was a note that told me to go away

To: You From: Crying Emoji lmao i knew you'd go looking, phone-chan! my intuition is as good as ever!

To: Crying Emoji lmao From: You unfair. that was like, my best friend's level of unfair.

so unfair that i'm thinking about moving my best friend back to the top of my favourites list :/

That was a bold faced lie. Oikawa had never been on the top of his favourites list: that was reserved solely for Makki.

To: You From: Crying Emoji lmao you wound me!

who is this best friend?

To: Crying Emoji lmao From: You

not telling lol

you'd know who i was then

To: You

From: Crying Emoji lmao spare hint ma’am?

To: Crying Emoji lmao From: You you didn't give me any!

and you're the one who wanted to keep it a secret in the first place :/

...but fine.

he's on the volleyball team

To: You From: Crying Emoji lmao oikawa!!??

To: Crying Emoji lmao

From: You ... :( yeah

see i told you!

To: You From: Crying Emoji lmao actually, i don't know the vb team that well. oikawa's one of the only guys i know  because he's popular. and loud 

To: Crying Emoji lmao From: You oh so i’m not popular?

To: You From: Crying Emoji lmao aww phone-chan it’s not like that <3 ur popular in my heart :)

Iwaizumi curses at the blush that follows reading that. He will not allow himself to get flustered over that, it was a joke!

To: Crying Emoji lmao From: You gee thanks 

To: You From: Crying Emoji lmao besides i still know the third years! i'm just saying i don't know them that well!!

hanamaki, matsukawa and iwaizumi. they're a close friend group, so i expect one of then is you

When he reads his name, he doesn't know whether to deny it completely, or confirm that it's him. Hajime puts his phone down and paces for a bit, wondering if he's fucked up. When he checks his phone again, chewing on his lip, he guffaws at the message they've left.

To: You From: Crying Emoji lmao ...judging from how you're not replying, you are.

but since i don't know which one, i'll decide on calling you phone-chan, yeah?

When Iwaizumi met whoever they were, he was gonna give them a lecture of a lifetime about not being a smartass.

To: Crying Emoji lmao From: You fine, yeah. i am one of them. but now you owe me a hint too!

To: You From: Crying Emoji lmao

well, i suppose i do!

i'm one of the girls in the class that actually has oikawa's number. he half forced me to give it to him, actually, but it's still been fun talking with him.

(not as much as talking with you, phone-chan!)

and i also totally get why he's annoying.

Iwaizumi feels a tiny bit of jealously bubbling up- irrational, because he's only been texting them for about half a month. His friend's statement about liking talking with him more than Oikawa makes him a little pleased, because people didn't usually pick his pretty best friend over him (selfish, yeah, but he's tired of girls asking him to deliver chocolates to the setter and befriending him in hopes of getting closer to Tooru.)

But girls who had his number? Only the ones Oikawa actually had an interest in.

The grand total of the people in his class with the brunet's number was three, because as courteous and as flirtatiously he acts, he accepts and turns down people normally, and doesn't like hurting girls as much as his playboy rep boasts (Iwaizumi's always liked that about him.) The three girls he knew of consisted of Aoi, his ex, Reina, who unbeknownst to Oikawa at the time, swang the other way, and...

You.

To: You From: Crying Emoji lmao i know that aoi, reina and (name) has his number...

To: You From: Crying Emoji lmao well, one of them is certainly me!

we're both down to three, phone-chan. even ground!

Iwaizumi feels the world cave in on himself, reading the message over and over. Aoi was a nice guy, but he was also the same brand of pompous that Hajime disliked and Oikawa had found cute. They’d ended it horribly, so Hajime was decidedly not looking forward to the possible outcome that it was him, so he casts away the thought before it can solidify in his mind’s eye. Reina didn’t even like guys, so if you were you…

Huh. His mouth’s gone dry suddenly.

To: Crying Emoji lmao From: You cool cool

 hey i'm gonna head to bed i gotta emotionally prepare for voluntarily walking into japanese lit class with tatsuya sensei on my ass

sorry to cut it short

To: You From: Crying Emoji lmao aw don't worry about it phone-chan <3

good night! and see you tmrw, whether we know it or not!!

To: Crying Emoji lmao From: You sleep well

Iwaizumi curses during the 5th hour of trying to sleep. Curse this stupid, stinking crush.

___

He wishes he hadn't asked. He's fine with his favorite crying emoji user knowing who he is, but knowing that it's you sort of struck a pang in his heart that couldn't be undone. He can't concentrate in class, and though he fights it because Oikawa's caught on to this habit, he finds himself staring at you instead of listening to the teacher. The whole situation was annoying!

First he thinks you're cute but he'd chalked it up to never working out because Oikawa had managed to snag your number. Then Oikawa assures him that it's platonic and they only talk about school work which is, to say the least, bullshit, because Oikawa can't actually text without getting distracted. His best friend has a tendency to rant about volleyball or start gossiping when his phone is within reach, and it's why his study sessions happen with Hajime next to him (and even with him, Oikawa still manages to get his grubby hands on his phone.) His best friend was absolutely up to something, and it had been killing Iwaizumi that he didn't know what it was.

And then he'd gotten that cute, fated, statistically impossible text from a wrong number, and fallen into a cute flirting-but-not-really routine. They were kind, sweet, and willing to help him with trivial things like homework and make him his favorite food.

It was easier not really knowing who it was! That was mean to admit, sure, but even when Hajime had started catching feelings for the mystery number, he'd rationalised that it could never be you. Slowly but surely, his mystery texter had been getting him out the slump he had been feeling over his unrequited feelings, and instead of wondering about you, he was wondering when the next mystery number text would come.

But now you're her and she's you and his brain is going to explode. He doesn't have enough brain cells for this.

Hajime sighs, looking away from you and back to his worksheet. Algebra stares back at him with no mercy. "I have no brain cells." He mutters, amending his thoughts. In the seat next to him, Oikawa chuckles lightly.

"You've got enough to stare at her, though." He whispers, and Hajime feels his blood boiling. "I swear, when the bell rings, I'm going to-"

The teacher clears her throat loudly. "Iwaizumi-san, if you could refrain from speaking until I've finished..."

Iwaizumi feels his hot rage flood into his cheeks as embarrassment instead. "Of course, sorry sensei."

You catch his eye as he averts his eyes from the teacher, and you smile encouragingly. Hajime thinks the knot in his forehead gets worse. He feels himself go hotter, somehow, and quickly goes back to looking at his math equations. Oikawa's still fucking smirking.

"Denial, Iwa-chan."

There's something fishy in the way that Oikawa texted the group chat about getting lunch. Firstly, Oikawa liked western food for whatever reason, and whenever he asked to go out, he would picked a pricey French place. The rest of the team would debate for about 8 minutes before usually settling on a cheap soba place near the town centre. He'd claimed it was for a post-midterms celebration, and since the Christmas holidays had started, they might as well go somewhere altogether, as a team.

But Oikawa's suggested this expensive ramen place (which... alright, it's not like Oikawa never eats Japanese. But he doesn't prefer it, and Hajime is paranoid about whatever plan his best friend has hatched) and instead of shouting at him to lower the price, Makki and Mattsun agree immediately. Iwaizumi knows Makki is broke this week, after having to buy a replacement volleyball for the one they popped while roughhousing, so he doesn't understand why he'd agree to blowing 2000 yen on a single bowl of ramen.

The rest of the third years decline or agree. Iwaizumi thinks this is for plausible deniability, to make him think it's all alright. But when Oikawa @'s him in chat to confirm for the coming Thursday, he grudgingly agrees. He's wanted to try that ramen place for a while, anyway, and he's putting too much thought into this. It was just lunch with the team. It's fine.

Then the coming Thursday rolls around, and he's been standing outside the ramen place for 5 minutes and no-one is here and he's going to kill Oikawa-

To: [crying baby noises] From: You oikawa i swear to god where the fuck is everyone. i'm going to aim every spike in practice to you i swear. yahaba would help me

To: You From: [crying baby noises] WAHAHAHA it's okay iwa-chan, someone else you like much better than our sweaty volleyball team is coming ☆⌒(ゝ。∂)

To: [crying baby noises] From: You die in a ditch

To: You From: [crying baby noises] you won't be saying that after ur first date! (☆ω☆)

here's her number, since ur gonna need it!

[CRYING BABY NOISES] HAS SENT YOU A CONTACT

Iwaizumi grumbles the entire time he's punching in the number, intending to tell you that you've been set up and you don't need to bother coming, but his phone shows up with an error that he's already got the number saved. He stares at the notification, blinking once, twice, before the elation sets in and-

"Ah, Iwaizumi?" You call his name, walking quickly towards him and giving him a bashful smile. "Sorry I'm late. I wasn't worried because I thought it was just going to be Oikawa talking my ear off, but he texted me to say... well."

He just says your name, blushing but still grinning. You chuckle, and the little display of happiness pushes him to at least try and say something, "Oikawa gave me your number, but..." Iwaizumi trails off.

"He sent yours too." You explain, pulling your phone out and, at last, he's given proof that you're the mystery number and his grin manages to get wider. The cool winter air bites less than it did before. "But I already had it saved."

"Me too." Hajime says, taking a step closer to you and taking a hand tentatively. Your fingers slip between his, and your cheeks are pink from more than just the cold.

"I had a feeling it was you." You admit, still looking at him the way you do in his dreams. "It's nice to finally meet you properly, Phone-chan."

[mikauzoran]

Ask Game: Mikau’s Headcanons - This Should Be a Drinking Game

Anonymous asked:

5&6

Thank you for the ask! ^.^

(The questions are from this list. So far I’ve done five, six, eleven, and fifteen.)

5. What’s your favorite headcanon you use in fics?

Oh my gosh. There are so many headcanons. XD I was actually just thinking last night that I needed to compile a list and turn it into a drinking game or something. 

Take a sip of tea every time:

1. Félix is Adrien’s older brother (eight years older). He left home at sixteen, married Marinette’s cousin Bridgette, and now lives in Marseille where he’s a homicide detective. Bri runs her own bakery. They have a daughter named Noëlle and a son on the way. Fé used to play the violin competitively growing up, and Adrien learned to play Danse Macabre and the first movement of Beethoven’s Kreutzer Sonata from him.

2. Émilie was a stage actress, and Adrien used to do the child roles in whatever production she was in, so he grew up backstage and going to the theatre to see his mum a lot. Her signature role was Viola in Shakespeare’s Twelfth Night. When Gabriel and Émilie met going to high school in Marseille, she was performing Viola and dragged him into being on the costume crew for the school play once she discovered he was an aspiring fashion designer.

3. Adrien decides to pursue a career in acting. He misses performing from when he did it with his mum when he was a kid, and it makes him feel connected to her. He likes getting to portray all kinds of different people and experiencing what it’s like to be someone else. It’s a safe space for him to experience emotions since expressing emotions was frowned upon in his home growing up. The roles he really wants to play are Jean Valjean from Les Mis, the Phantom from Phantom of the Opera, Elphaba from Wicked, and Viola from Twelfth Night.

4. Adrien is originally left-handed but has learned to be ambidextrous. This is my hill to die on, and you can fight me over it. ^w^ It’s probably just production error/the creators not really caring, but I’ve noticed several times in canon where Adrien has been shown doing things left-handed. (I mean, he uses his right hand for things too, but...) In Origins, when he’s walking to class and signing autographs left and right, he does so with his left hand. In Marchand de Sable/Sandman when he’s doing homework in his room, his writing supplies are on his left side. (I just want some left-handed representation. Is that too much to ask? ;-;)

5. Adrien is biromantic asexual. Even when I pair him with Marinette, he’s never not bi. I don’t always write him as ace; sometimes he’s bisexual in my works, but I could see canon Adrien as ace.

6. Adrien’s comfort foods are mint tea and salad. When he was little, when he or  Émilie had a bad day, she would kick the kitchen staff out of the kitchen, and they would make a big salad and some mint tea and enjoy it together. Now that she’s gone, he has mint tea and/or salad when he’s feeling down, and it’s comforting because it reminds him of his mother.

7. Adrien is a total anime nerd. He grew up relatively isolated from the outside world, so he learned about life and “normal”/“acceptable” human behaviour from Disney movies and anime. He’s always wanted to be a Disney princess and a magical girl. He was really inspired by Disney and anime protagonists who overcame the difficulties in their lives to achieve their dreams and find happiness and love. He has a lot of strong, female role models, starting with his mum, so he tends to identify with female characters more strongly than male characters.

8. Adrien is a polyglot. Obviously, he knows French, and he’s learned English because it’s required. Chinese lessons are canonical. He taught himself Japanese so that he could read manga and watch anime in the original (and pass it off as “studying”). He also speaks Russian (see “9″ below). He doesn’t speak Italian, but he has a passing familiarity with the language. He knows some phrases from opera from watching it himself and his mum’s career. He has some of his favourite portions memorized. He can insult someone’s sartorial choices in Italian from listening to his father do so on trips to Milan for business, and he knows survival phrases, but he can’t actually construct sentences or have conversations. He just hasn’t invested himself in it.

9. Adrien’s bodyguard’s name is Victor (really Viktor, but he uses the French spelling to fit in). He’s originally from Russia and still has family there. The reason why he doesn’t speak is because, even though he understands French just fine, he’s self-conscious about speaking it because of his accent. He’s also afraid to make mistakes, especially in front of Gabriel who is not a patient or tolerant man. Victor taught Adrien Russian, so now they can speak together, and no one knows what they’re saying. (Nathalie has picked up a little bit here and there, but not enough to have conversations.) Victor calls Adrien Adrianka. (It’s the Russian diminutive.)

10. Nathalie speaks a little bit of Mandarin Chinese. Her tones are so-so, but she can get her point across. She learned from listening in on Adrien’s lessons so that she could make sure he stayed on top of his curriculum. When Adrien has to miss Chinese lessons on short notice, Adrien’s teacher works with Nathalie instead.

11. Luka loves all music, not just rock or punk like we’ve seen on the show. I mean, the guy is portrayed as music being his whole life, right? He came to music through rock and roll because that’s what he was exposed to through his mother and her music career, but if you dig into the music and look at its history, where it came from, what inspired it, you start wandering back through time until you get to the big names of classical concert music. Luka is an inquisitive, thoughtful guy. I can see him digging into the roots of the music he grew up with and finding all sorts of cool influences. I can see him learning about and experimenting with different types/genres of music.

12. In university, Luka studies Literature with an emphasis on nineteenth and twentieth century Russia. Why? Below is excerpted from my response to a comment asking about this point.

Especially in the nineteenth century during the height of Romanticism, a lot of literary elements and themes made their way into classical music. Program music uses literary texts as a base and illustrates the story with music. Composers drew from the Russian literary tradition as well, particularly in opera. Tchaikovsky's The Queen of Spades is based on Pushkin's short story, and I just found out a month ago that Shostakovich turned Gogol's short story The Nose into an opera. In the arts, one thing always leads to another. It's like looking up something on Wikipedia. Two hours later you've become an expert on botany or Balkan folk dance. I think Luka would dig into the sources of inspiration for the music he was consuming in order to better understand the works and as a means of getting inspiration himself.

So that's why Russian Literature. I think he'd eventually find his way to it through music. Then, once you find Tolstoy or Dostoyevsky, you really get sucked in. For me, those two have such a way of depicting real human beings and what it means to be human. They really get at deeper human truths. Anna Karenina, Crime and Punishment, and The Idiot really capture that essence for me. (War and Peace too to some extent, but not as much as the other three.) I think Luka would really be drawn to Russian literature too and come to love it for itself apart from the musical inspiration he was able to derive from it.

13. In his teens, Luka takes more of an interesting in the piano and falls in love with the violin. He adds piano and violin performance majors halfway through university and ends up becoming a professional solo pianist as well as a first violin with the Orchestre de Paris.

14. Luka wears reading glasses. I don’t think I’ve used this one much. Actually, I can’t find where I’ve used this at all. :/ Well. I suppose there will be no tea drinking at this time for this headcanon. ^.^;

15. Luka has tattoos. I don’t think I’ve gotten around to this one yet either. Adrien and Luka talk about possible tattoo ideas in Chapter Four of Nachtmusik, but... At any rate, the full extent of the tattoos would be a stylized snake on his pelvis, Odin’s raven’s on his shoulder blades, a stylized snake bracelet under his regular bracelets, and a Chat Noir paw print under his ring. So far the paw print is the only one that I’m one hundred percent positive that will happen. The stylized snake on the pelvis is pretty up there too because in the Jabberwocky/Daisy universe I was going to have Adrien and Marinette squabbling over Luka, and Adrien was going to say that he bet Marinette hadn’t seen Luka’s snake tattoo. When Marinette asks Luka where he has a snake tattoo and learns how low on Luka’s stomach it is, she’s left wondering what’s going on between Adrien and Luka. I’m undecided about the ravens and the snake bracelet.

16. The children are always named Hugo, Louis, and Emma, but the birth order depends upon the pairing. Lukadrienette have Hugo (biologically Luka’s), Emma (Adrien’s), and then Louis (Adrien’s). Lukadrien have Emma (Luka and Rose’s), Louis (Adrien and Rose’s), and then Hugo (Adrien and Juleka’s). Adrienette have Louis, Hugo, and then Emma.

Which is your favourite of my headcanons? Which one would you like to see more of? Did I miss any? ^.^;

[somegirlsnerdywords2]

Anime i’ve Watched

That begin with a D (Part 1)!

Yep this is how i’m going to bring over all the anime and manga i’ve watched and posted about on the old blog. It’s not so detailed but it will have to do. Anything new I watch or read from this point on will have their own posts.

Dance with Devils:

Genres: reverse harem, demons, supernatural, romance, vampire, shoujo

Synopsis: Ritsuka Tachibana has always been a good student, so she is completely shocked when she is suddenly summoned by the student council. Even more, they seem to think of Ritsuka as a troublemaker. Led by the handsome Rem Kaginuki, the student council—also consisting of Urie Sogami, Shiki Natsumizaka and Mage Nanashiro—tries to question her, but it soon becomes clear that they have ulterior motives.However, this is only the beginning. When her mother gets kidnapped, her life is turned upside down, and Ritsuka gets drawn into a world of vampires and devils. Both groups are searching for the "Grimoire," a forbidden item allowing its owner to rule the world. The return of her brother Lindo from overseas gives her hope, but even he appears to be hiding something. In a world filled with secrets, Ritsuka questions whom she can trust in this dark musical tale, while the handsome and dangerous members of the student council compete for her attention.

[Written by MAL Rewrite]

My Rating: 8/10

Finished airing in 2015 with a total of 12 episodes. 

My Thoughts: One of the better animes in the reverse harem genre. Little bit of fantasy, drama, romance. This one was actually a musical... or at the very least had a notable amount of musical numbers throughout the series. I do love me a good musical. To be fair this anime had some big issues, though if you’re just looking for a bit of halfway decent reverse harem fun this should suit you just fine!

Darling in the FranXX:

Genres: action, drama, mecha, romance, sci-fi

Synopsis:  In the distant future, humanity has been driven to near-extinction by giant beasts known as Klaxosaurs, forcing the surviving humans to take refuge in massive fortress cities called Plantations. Children raised here are trained to pilot giant mechas known as FranXX—the only weapons known to be effective against the Klaxosaurs—in boy-girl pairs. Bred for the sole purpose of piloting these machines, these children know nothing of the outside world and are only able to prove their existence by defending their race.

Hiro, an aspiring FranXX pilot, has lost his motivation and self-confidence after failing an aptitude test. Skipping out on his class' graduation ceremony, Hiro retreats to a forest lake, where he encounters a mysterious girl with two horns growing out of her head. She introduces herself by her codename Zero Two, which is known to belong to an infamous FranXX pilot known as the "Partner Killer." Before Hiro can digest the encounter, the Plantation is rocked by a sudden Klaxosaur attack. Zero Two engages the creature in her FranXX, but it is heavily damaged in the skirmish and crashes near Hiro. Finding her partner dead, Zero Two invites Hiro to pilot the mecha with her, and the duo easily defeats the Klaxosaur in the ensuing fight. With a new partner by his side, Hiro has been given a chance at redemption for his past failures, but at what cost? [Written by MAL Rewrite]

My Rating: 6/10

Finished airing in 2018 with a total of 24 episodes. 

My Thoughts: Ohhhh how I wanted to love this one. After Kill la Kill I have the highest of hopes for anything Trigger releases but unfortunately they tend to fall short of my expectations... such a shame. The art, animation and themes were fantastic but that’s about where the good times end in all honesty. I will never forgot just HOW they operate the mechs.... those images will forever be burned into my memories.... so thanks for that I guess?? This series had it’s moments and wasn’t a complete dumpster fire but overall it just wasn’t anywhere near the masterpiece I hoped it would be. The disappointment factor probably took a few points off in the end. 

Deadman Wonderland:

Genres: action, sci-fi, shounen, horror

Synopsis: It looked like it would be a normal day for Ganta Igarashi and his classmates—they were preparing to go on a class field trip to a certain prison amusement park called Deadman Wonderland, where the convicts perform dangerous acts for the onlookers' amusement. However, Ganta's life is quickly turned upside down when his whole class gets massacred by a mysterious man in red. Framed for the incident and sentenced to death, Ganta is sent to the very jail he was supposed to visit.But Ganta's nightmare is only just beginning.The young protagonist is thrown into a world of sadistic inmates and enigmatic powers, to live in constant fear of the lethal collar placed around his neck that is slowed only by winning in the prison's deathly games. Ganta must bet his life to survive in a ruthless place where it isn't always easy to tell friend from foe, all while trying to find the mysterious "Red Man" and clear his name, in Deadman Wonderland.

[Written by MAL Rewrite]

My Rating: 6/10

Finished airing in 2011 with a total of 12 episodes. 

My Thoughts: Just go check out the completed manga is you’re interested in this series and watch the anime for more content. Pretty cool premise with decent art and music but is incomplete and very unlikely to receive another season.

Death Note:

Genres: mystery, police, psychological, supernatural, thriller, shounen

Synopsis: A shinigami, as a god of death, can kill any person—provided they see their victim's face and write their victim's name in a notebook called a Death Note. One day, Ryuk, bored by the shinigami lifestyle and interested in seeing how a human would use a Death Note, drops one into the human realm. High school student and prodigy Light Yagami stumbles upon the Death Note and—since he deplores the state of the world—tests the deadly notebook by writing a criminal's name in it. When the criminal dies immediately following his experiment with the Death Note, Light is greatly surprised and quickly recognizes how devastating the power that has fallen into his hands could be. With this divine capability, Light decides to extinguish all criminals in order to build a new world where crime does not exist and people worship him as a god. Police, however, quickly discover that a serial killer is targeting criminals and, consequently, try to apprehend the culprit. To do this, the Japanese investigators count on the assistance of the best detective in the world: a young and eccentric man known only by the name of L. [Written by MAL Rewrite]

My Rating: 9/10

Finished airing in 2007 with a total of 37 episodes. 

My Thoughts: If you’re an anime fan and haven’t at least heard of Death Note you may have been living under a rock. Or maybe the only reason you know this title is because of that dumpster fire of a live action western remake... if so I am so so sorry. Strong beginning with an alright end. A great psychological series overall though. Unique and iconic. 

Death Parade: 

Genres: game, mystery, psychological, drama, thriller

Synopsis:  After death, there is no heaven or hell, only a bar that stands between reincarnation and oblivion. There the attendant will, one after another, challenge pairs of the recently deceased to a random game in which their fate of either ascending into reincarnation or falling into the void will be wagered. Whether it's bowling, darts, air hockey, or anything in between, each person's true nature will be revealed in a ghastly parade of death and memories, dancing to the whims of the bar's master. Welcome to Quindecim, where Decim, arbiter of the afterlife, awaits! Death Parade expands upon the original one-shot intended to train young animators. It follows yet more people receiving judgment—until a strange, black-haired guest causes Decim to begin questioning his own rulings. [Written by MAL Rewrite]

My Rating: 9/10

Finished airing in 2015 with a total of 12 episodes. 

My Thoughts: Now this was an interesting one! Here we have the concept of death in game form. Each episode a new player is introduced and our leading pair takes them through their chosen game. Morality, mystery and a dynamic leading pair are what drive this character driven series. You’re sure to experience a wide range of emotions while watching this anime and the opening theme was pretty good as well. Why not give it a go if it sounds like your kind of thing!?

Denki-gai no Honya-san:

Genres: comedy, seinen, slice of life

Synopsis:  Umio is a shy kid who just started his part time job at a manga store smack dab in the middle of the city. But his lifestyle isn't as glamorous as the neon lights that illuminate the city. Umio's closest friends are his co-workers who are all unique characters, to say the least, and although they're nice people, they have their quirks. They are a tight knit group of friends, have nicknames for each other and spend their weekends inside, sheltered from the extravagant scene happening on the outside. (Source: MU)

My Rating: 10/10

Finished airing in 2014 with a total of 12 episodes. 

My Thoughts: Something light after this unusually heavy themed list. A lovable cast of characters drive this situational comedy and it’s an abosulte joy to watch each and every one of the antics they manage to get up to. A great series to bang out on a day when you aren’t feeling so great and need a little something to lighten your mood. You’re unlikely to find any deep life lessons here but it’s sure to tickle your funny bone. 

Devilman: Crybaby:

Genres: action, demons, horror, supernatural, ONA

Synopsis:  Devils cannot take form without a living host. However, if the will of an individual is strong enough, they can overcome the demon and make its power their own, becoming a Devilman. Weak and unassuming, Akira Fudou has always had a bleeding heart. So when his childhood friend Ryou Asuka asks for his help in uncovering devils, Akira accepts without hesitation. However, to Akira's surprise, the place they go to is Sabbath: an immoral party of debauchery and degeneracy. Amidst bloodshed and death, demons possess the partiers, turning their bodies into grotesque monsters, and begin wreaking havoc. In a reckless attempt to save his best friend, Akira unwittingly merges with the devil Amon and becomes a Devilman, gaining the power to defeat the remaining demons. Though it grants him great power, this new partnership awakens an insatiable and primeval part of Akira. Having the body of a devil but the same crybaby heart, Akira works alongside Ryou, destroying those that harm humanity and his loved ones. [Written by MAL Rewrite]

My Rating: 4/10

A 10 episode ONA that finished airing in 2018

My Thoughts: And we’re back at it with the dark stuff... I was not a fan. The art.animation had some real cool moments as did the music but it was just a bit much in my opinion. Rushed and nonsensical with characters I couldn’t care less about. Gratuitous violence and nudity. To be fair there are plenty who enjoyed this anime, unfortunately for all of you I was not one of them.

[ruoyeming]

My Top Ten Anime, a chaotic list

This was so hecking difficult, I’m gonna have to do some ‘honourable mentions’ for ones I can’t bring myself to leave out. This list is based entirely on my personal feelings, not an objective assessment of what are logically the best anime. There also may be mild spoilers at points because I can’t control myself. Doing this in quarantine cause I looove ranting about things I like.

10) Attack On Titan

This was the first anime I ever watched, and it blew my mind a bit tbh. The music is iconic, and the animation is great as well. It might have been a bit harrowing for my first experience with anime, but I absolutely loved the story. It’s set in a world where titans (man eating giants) have driven the dregs of humanity to live within giant stone walls. There’s a group of humans trying to research titans, kill them, and protect humanity, and the main character decides to join them after a titan breaks through one of the walls and his mother is eaten. It’s one of those where you think you know everything and suddenly the world gets turned upside down by a new discovery. All the puzzle pieces start fitting together the longer you watch, and you find out that everything going on is much bigger than what it originally seemed (government conspiracy time lads). The plot twists are unpredictable (for me at least) and devastating, and the emotion this series evokes is awesome - you can FEEL the sheer desperation of the characters, their rage and despair as they fight again and again against a seemingly unending enemy. Despite almost every battle being a suicide mission and despite too many losses, the characters keep going out of the human need to survive and protect. 

10/10 for brutality and gore, but also theme of hope.

9) Naruto

A founding father of anime. Surprisingly not one of the first I watched, in fact it took me a few years to start. It’s set in a feudal Japan where ninjas are the defenders and servers of the people, and different villages have different ninja styles. Naruto is a young boy with a dangerous spirit sealed inside him which has caused him to be shunned by society (even though it’s not his fault??), and he wants to become a ninja. First off I’m a sucker for the Naruto archetype: dumbass, cocky, obnoxious, but kind and loyal too. Years of solitude and ostracisation as a child mean that Naruto desperately wants people to acknowledge him, and he intends to become the Hokage to prove himself. There’s a huge range of characters and villains, all with cool ninjutsus and different philosophies. Friendship, power, and determination are some of the main themes and it makes me so proud to see my son *COUGH* Naruto progressing and learning from his mistakes. It IS a long boi though and I haven’t even finished Shippuden yet, but I think Naruto captures the essence of shounen anime and is a great underdog story. Manga is lit too. 

10/10 for cool battles and great characters.

8) Psycho Pass

One of the earlier anime I watched, and it became an instant favourite for the way it makes you question morality. It’s set in a kinda dystopian future Japan, where a technology called the Sibyl System checks people’s mental state and determines their ‘crime coefficient’ - how likely they are to commit a crime. The main character is a young woman who joins the police and begins to realise that blindly following this system is perhaps not the best way to go about things. For example, they have special guns that automatically kill people whose crime coefficients are over a certain level, but she soon proves that you can easily lower someone’s coefficient by talking them down and negotiating instead of killing them off immediately. It’s got great drama, great government conspiracy, compelling villains, and some really badass characters. It pushes the question of what is right or wrong, and how far technology should go when it comes to justice. 

10/10 for sociological debate and horror elements.

7) One Punch Man

OPM is an anime that stands out for me, partially for mocking the tropes of battle anime, and partially for the uniqueness of the main character’s predicament. It’s set in Japan where heroes and villains exist, and the protagonist is a man called Saitama who gained superstrength after doing 100 push-ups, 100 sit-ups, 100 squats, and a 10K run every day. However he’s become so strong that he can defeat every enemy with a single punch. Nothing is a challenge for him anymore so he becomes depressed and unfulfilled; he’s still a good man who helps people, but he feels he’s missing something from his life. A cyborg called Genos makes Saitama his master, determined to learn his ways and they become friends. It’s one of the first anime that made me laugh out loud; it’s funny and entertaining, but also shows us that power is not equal to happiness. 

10/10 for moral lessons and good jokes.

6) Tanaka-kun is Always Listless

The only slice of life anime on this list and not very well known, however it has a special place in my heart. The main character Tanaka is a boy who dozes off constantly and acts exhausted when awake; he loves expending as little energy as possible. His best friend Ohta looks out for him and essentially makes sure he doesn’t get lost/ be late/die on a daily basis, including carrying him when he just falls asleep sometimes. Although Tanaka seems uncaring, it’s shown that friendship isn’t a bother to him, and he realises that he actually relies on his friends despite saying he likes being left in peace. His friends all have great personalities, my personal faves are a tough gangster girl who’s rude to everyone EXCEPT her adorable loli girlfriend, and a popular girl who’s trying too hard to fit in and starts to become more herself after befriending Tanaka. All the characters share one brain cell, and it’s genuinely a funny anime - I’ve burst out laughing watching it a few times. Also Tanaka and Ohta are extremely shippable if you want to go down that route; it’s said several times in the series that they’re like an old married couple. 

10/10 for wholesomeness and comedy.

5) Ouran High School Host Club

Another lighthearted show, probably the anime that’s made me laugh the most out of any. It’s set at an academy for rich-as-heck kids, and there’s a ‘Host Club’ where all the girls go to drink tea with a group of handsome boys. There’s the cunning Kyouka, prankster identical twins Hikaru and Kaoru, stoic Mori, adorable Honey, and princely but obnoxious Tamaki. Haruhi, a working-class scholarship student who is mistaken for a boy, accidentally breaks a precious vase and is forced by the host club to join them to pay off her debt. The group of boys realise fairly quickly that haruhi is a girl, but she becomes a popular host amongst the girls (LOVE the secret lesbian vibes) so they keep up the charade. I think I have a weakness for groups that share one brain cell because aside from Kyouka, they’re all idiots. I also love how flexible the show is with ideas of gender and sexuality despite being a slightly older anime. The daily antics of the host club combined with their personalities is a recipe for comedy, and they’re all lovable in their own ways. 

10/10 for characters, drama, and comedy; it’s well-paced too.

4) Bungou Stray Dogs

Set in an alternate modern Japan where some people have secret abilities that can be activated, this anime became an obsession when I first watched it. The cast of characters is amazing and the villains are awesome too. Atsushi is an orphan who discovers he can turn into a powerful tiger, and is hired by the Armed Detective Agency, a small organisation of powerful individuals who fight crime. NEED I SAY ANY MORE?? Many of the main characters share names with famous Japanese authors such as Osamu Dazai and Ryūnosuke Akutagawa which is really cool and something that might add to the story more if I had an understanding of Japanese literature. Anyways the main character Atsushi is kind of a wimp at first (understandably because the world of ability-users is actually terrifying), but he learns to stand up for himself and use his ability to save people. The show’s mixing of dark and comedic tones is perfect to me; one moment a character is off his head on mushrooms and the next Atsushi’s leg is brutally sliced off in a back alley fight (it regenerates later no worries). The plot is really cool and full of intrigue, and eventually you get the whole ‘Usually we’re sworn enemies but we’re forced to become allies in the face of a greater evil’ thing and it’s great! Turns out our main guy and our main bad guy are actually a pretty powerful and efficient team, hoho?? 

10/10 for supernatural detectives being super cool.

3) Yuri!!! on Ice

Y’all already know what’s going on. Ice skating, emotional breakthroughs, gay shit, HIT ME WITH IT. The story follows Yuri Katsuki, an insecure figure skater trying to regain his confidence, and his self-appointed coach Viktor Nikiforov. Viktor is enthusiastic in helping Yuri train, and Yuri has been a big fan of Viktor since his childhood *throws pillow across the room*. Yuri becomes determined to, quote, “surpass Viktor’s wildest imagination”, and they end up agreeing - through a series of convoluted events - to get married if Yuri wins gold at the olympics (I think it’s the olympics??). Either fuckin way this series has angst, humour, cuteness, and god DAMN did I get invested. When Yuri was doing his free skate my own heart was beating harder than it did when I finished a 10K. Love the vibes and also it’s the closest to full healthy gay representation that I’ve seen in anime for a while. Not much more I can say, but do I really need to say more???

10/10 for GAY and MY HEART

2) Kimetsu No Yaiba (Demon Slayer)

Ok this one’s kind of a cheat cause I’ve read the manga as well which is way ahead of the anime, but FUCC. It takes place in the Taisho Era in Japan (begins 1912), where Demons exist who eat people. Tanjiro Kamado’s family is killed by a demon one night and his sister Nezuko is turned into a demon - but it is soon discovered she’s different to other demons, and can restrain herself. Tanjiro joins the Demon Slayer Corps to try and track down a cure for his sister, while proving that demons are not inherently evil. I LOVE Tanjiro as a main character because he values kindness over everything else, not forgiving demons for their sins but recognising they are tormented creatures, trying to give them peace before they die. All demons were once human - a fact that only Tanjiro seems to remember when fighting them. He’s patient, gentle, and determined - hotheaded and brash sometimes, but he has this vibe that just makes people become his friend/respect him even if they don’t intend to. He befriends two other slayers - Inosuke, an absolutely feral Best Boy who was raised by wild boars, and Zenitsu, a cowardly but ultimately loyal guy. This trio works really well together and Tanjiro is a great protagonist. Don’t even get me STARTED on the music and animation. Impeccable. Kamado Tanjiro No Uta makes me cry every time I hear it, and the water/fire effects used to show the metaphorical way the swords move like the elements takes my breath away.

10/10 for morals, music and animation.

1) Mob Psycho 100

Where the fuck do I start here. This anime is so unique in its style, story, and characters that I think it will always be my favourite. It follows Shigeo Kageyama (nicknamed Mob cause that’s what they call extras and background characters in Japan), a plain boy with incredible psychic powers that explode when his emotions are too high. Over time he’s learned to suppress his emotions, causing him to become socially inept and emotionally withdrawn. His (fake) psychic ‘master’, Reigen, uses him to make money exorcising spirits, making Mob believe that it’s for ‘training’. Mob appears naive at times, but he is so simply kind to people that it makes my heart hurt. Unlike many of the egomaniac psychics that Mob comes across, he recognises that without powers, he is just an ordinary boy. Mob’s greatest power isn’t his OP psychic abilities, but his power to show people they can change, that he can change. He forgives (and eventually befriends) people who have tried to kill him. Redemption and empathy are big themes here and they’re done really well.

The other characters are so well rounded and are also given time to grow, including Reigen - at first he’s a seemingly manipulative sleazebag, but later you see that he is a genuinely good man who has taught Mob many lessons and helped him grow up. This is a core message - Mob’s ability to change is due to support from his friends, not purely his own desire - people need other people!

This is also one of the true rarities in anime where the second season is absolutely just as good (if not better!) than the first one. The music is unique to the show, the ops for both seasons get me litty, the animation is incredible, the jokes are great and although it’s not all about big-ass fights, when we do get a big-ass fight it’s so fucking cool. The fight sequences are beautifully animated and visually stunning. MP100 makes me laugh, cry like an actual baby, and want to become a better person. Idk I could literally write pages on it like the big nerd I am but that’s all I’ll do for now.

10/10 for literally everything.

HONOURABLE MENTIONS

Given : about a boy who joins a band which helps him work through his trauma. Lovely healthy gay representation and themes of healing.

Samurai Champloo : ragtag trio consisting of two samurai - one lowkey feral and does breakdancing, the other lofty and withdrawn - and a bold young girl. Themes of friendship and journeys. I simp for the lofty samurai.

Cowboy Bebop: jazzy music, bounty hunters in space, 90s anime WHAT MORE COULD U WANT. Yet another group of characters that share a single brain cell. Love it.

[eyfey]

Hello! Thank you for your Saiki scanlations. How long have you studied Japanese? Did you study abroad? Any tips on translating or language improvement?

Thanks for the message! I studied 4 years of japanese in college and a half year of study abroad- then I've been translating for like 3 after graduation, so that's like... 7-8 years total?

Anyway here are my tips!

Study Tools: School definitely helps (especially for kanji) since it gives you a tailor made lesson plan with built in practice partners. BUT school is also expensive. If you're diligent enough for self study and want to save money: Go find some textbook PDFs and use those to study. Genki books one and two for beginners, then Tobira after that. (iirc Tobira has a little overlap with the Genki 2 book and isn't as well organized/easy to follow as the Genki books, so it's a bit of an awkward transition, but stick with it!)

Kanji: Make flashcards. I'm p sure there are some premade Genki flashcards online you can print out, and maybe some for Tobira too? Making your own is probably more effective (but also more time consuming). Do the kanji on one side, the reading + meaning on the back. That way you can go through them on one side to learn how to read the kanji, and then one side to learn how to write the kanji. Try to make flashcards with full words/kanji compounds on them, and not just the individual kanji. ie. Flashcards with 行く　and 旅行 are going to be much more useful than just 行. You can also try some flashcard apps if you don't want all the physical cards: Anki's the only one I've used but it's p good.

Vocab/Grammar: tbh translating manga has been my best study tool and has resulted in the most improvement for me personally. It helps if you have someone who can look over your translations for you, but even if you don't: just having to google the words/phrases/grammar you don't know is super helpful. Plus it's way more fun than just reading textbooks. Reading manga in japanese or playing games in japanese helps too, but it's way more tempting to just skip over the words you don't know that way. When you translate, you're forced to look EVERYTHING up. Start with Shonen/Shoujo manga that's got the little furigana to help you read the Kanji. The vocab is also a little kinder in those. Give Seinen/Josei a go once you're ready to struggling with kanji.

Listening: I don't know what to say about how to improve listening skill. By the time I started taking classes I had already pumped my ears full of japanese anime/music non-stop for all of high school, so I was already p good at picking up stuff. Just listen to as much japanese media as you can I guess?

Speaking: You just gotta practice. If you're in school, then you should be able to practice in class. If you're doing self study, you could also try Japanese Language meetups, which is apparently a thing that people do to go to practice speaking japanese with other people who also want to practice speaking Japanese. I learned about this when I was job hunting, and then never actually tried it. Also if you're having problems with pronunciation, somehow singing a word is easier to pronounce than saying it- so maybe give karaoke a try?

Good luck!

[firstpuffin]

Memorisation and learning:

-Note: Like two weeks after writing this I found the perfect quote from Terry Pratchett:

'Well, the travelling teachers do come through every few months,' said the Baron.   'Yes, sir, I know, sir, and they're useless, sir. They teach facts, not understanding. It's like teaching people about forests by showing them a saw.'

Trust Pratchett to perfectly write in just a few words what I failed to do in what, 500? I love that man.

I think that I’ve made it abundantly clear that I’m not a big fan of schools or even the education system, specifically below the university level, and I’m gonna try and explain why here. I was going to dedicate a longer article to this topic but it’s something that I’m quite passionate about so to avoid ranting this is gonna be a shorter one.

 An annoying amount of the education process seems to have been influenced by Behaviourism, a basic framework that influences various disciplines including psychology and linguistics. The basic idea is that learning is influenced by the environment and repetition, and that positive reinforcement (like praise) and negative reinforcement assist the learning process.

  I have no problem with the Behaviourist approach, it simply explains how we have been demonstrated to learn through input and practice. My problem is how people have attempted to use the theory to teach others… while misunderstanding the theory.

 I’m going to start by explaining what I mean by memorisation and learning. Memorisation is self-explanatory: information is stored and can be recalled; this is absolutely a part of learning. Learning is being able to use this information.

  I’m sure people remember the classroom chanting of the times tables and this is because some people decided that it’s the repetition alone that teaches, but anyone who lacks the intuitive understanding of maths may well be able to repeat the sums in order but that doesn’t mean they understand what they are saying. Take a sum out of that strict order, or rephrase it or god-forbid ask them what 16 times 8 is when they were never taught to go that high, and they will be stuck.

  If you are good at maths then maybe you don’t have this problem so let’s try language: “koohii o futatsu to sandoichi o futatsu kudasai” is a simple way of asking for two coffees and two sandwiches and if you are in the classroom then chances are you know koohii is coffee, sandoitchi is sandwich and kudasai is please, but what do the “o” and “to” mean? Would “koohii to o kudasai” work? Nope. I’ve had a number of Japanese lessons and I’ve have to learn what particles like “to” and “no” and such mean through my own efforts.

 So what should be done? We can’t just repeat things, although that does have its uses; we need to learn the why and the how as well. Heck, we should use the sandwich method: one example, the how and why, and another example. That gives two opportunities for the learner to relate what they are learning to an example, no matter which way they prefer it.

 I’m going to end this by raising the concept of learning disabilities, or more specifically those that influence the memory such as dyspraxia and dyslexia; both of these neurological disorders, that often cross over, influence the short term memory which in turn means that not all information can be stored in the long term memory because it was, well, forgotten. Heck, according to Brookes (2007), dyspraxia can even influence whether the information is stored in the right place and whether or not the brain looks for it in the right place, although he may have been speaking analogously.

 During school and even during higher education I was forced to regurgitate information that I had been fed, but my short term memory was crap; it was only my innate intelligence that kept me at regular C and D grades instead of failing completely.

  But at university I was encouraged to learn, and I learned to learn: I finished up with an Upper Second Class degree (or a 2:1) which I never once hoped that I’d be able to achieve. It was beyond me.

  Except it wasn’t, was it.

 Brookes, G (2007) Dyspraxia. London: Bloomsbury Publishing Plc.

[mrbellamy-sir]

Aiming to be a leader in his own way - Musumen.’s Shirofuku on determination and the future

This is an interview from 22nd June 2016. Here’s the original link for the Japanese and the photo gallery.

I’ve done my best to translate it but I’m just a beginner so it might not be entirely accurate.

Born from an online video sharing website, the 10 member men’s idol group Musumen. is spearheaded by leader Shirofuku, who is making his first appearance on Livedoor News. Having achieved their goal of performing at Nakano Sunplaza in August 2015, Musumen. haven’t dropped their attack strategy, but are currently on a 47 prefecture nationwide tour and progressing to the next step. We asked Shirofuku to talk about his struggles as a leader, his relationship with the members, and even about his views on love and his private life.

Photography: Suzuki Daisuke

Interviewer: Hanamura Fumi

Hair and Makeup: Otsubo Manato

The moment he posted the video, his life began to change.

·         When was the first time you uploaded a dance cover to NicoNicoDouga?

Maybe 7 or 8 years ago? The first video I uploaded was a dance cover of Perfume. We’d started to learn the choreography from watching the music video and danced it by imitating them. (Laughs) When we first filmed it we didn’t really intend to upload it.

·         Really?

Yes, but we felt we’d danced it surprisingly well considering we barely practised. It was kind of a funny video so we discussed uploading it just in a joking way, but then we really did upload it. (Laughs) Watching it back, though, we really didn’t dance well at all…

·         Is it true that you didn’t have any dance experience until university?

It’s true. Actually, I only started taking proper lessons in the past year or so.

·         Please tell us how Musumen.’s formation came about.

In 2012 I appeared as a weekly MC on NicoNico’s live radio broadcast along with the Bakusho Comedians. From the beginning of the show I’d been talking about how much I liked Suzuki Kanon from Morning Musume.

·         By the way, how did you come to be a fan of hers?

I liked her from the time I saw her in the Morning Musume. auditions broadcast on TV. The other girls performed dances or music recitals, but Kanon alone performed a comedy sketch. Don’t you think that’s exceptionally brave? The things I like most about her are: her smile, her courage, and her singing voice. These 3 things really make me support her.

·         And then in the last radio broadcast you received a message from your beloved Kanon.

I was so excited! (Laughs) She asked me to dance their new single ‘Ren'ai Hunter’ as well. Up until then I hadn’t danced any Morning Musume. songs, but I knew I had to dance that one.

·         Was it difficult to find enough people to join you?

Rather than that, I felt a sense of responsibility to make it actually happen.

·         On 10th May 2012, the ‘11 boys dance to Morning Musume.’s 'Ren'ai Hunter’’ video was uploaded to NicoNicoDouga. Did you receive any response from Kanon herself?

I went to one of Morning Musume.’s handshake events, introduced myself as Shirofuku and told her I’d uploaded the video. (Laughs) After that, whenever we uploaded a new Morning Musume. cover, I would go to an event and tell her what song we’d danced to. It made me so happy when she said that she’d seen the videos.

·         Do other fans recognise you when you go to Morning Musume.’s concerts or handshake events?

People do sometimes say hello to me. Some have asked me to shake their hands before but I’m just a normal fan like everyone else. (Laughs)

·         Kanon graduated from Morning Musume. this May, but how did you feel when you heard the announcement?

My mind just went blank….before she graduated - Sorry, this will become a deep Hello! Project conversation, do you mind? (Laughs)

·         Please go ahead! (Laughs)

Before she graduated, the ace Sayashi Riho, who had been in the same generation, graduated. At that time, I had wondered whether Kanon might also graduate in the near future.

·         Ahh…

Every fan knows that one day they will have to accept that their favourite member is going to graduate, so I’d tried to prepare myself but… When it was announced, I really couldn’t believe it and became so miserable, I didn’t even post on Twitter for about 2 days… Now I just want her to be happy on the path that she has chosen, and even without her my love for Morning Musume. hasn’t changed, so I’ll continue to support them.

In the past he was always cross, but now…

·         Musumen. has now begun its 5th year of activities. Reflecting on that time, what are your thoughts?

From an outsider’s perspective, perhaps last year’s Nakano Sunplaza performance may seem to have been achieved surprisingly quickly, but for us those 3 years and a couple of months felt like a long journey.

·         Were there strong feelings?

At the end of the performance everyone was sobbing and we had no idea what was going on. (Laughs) I wish I could’ve savoured the Nakano Sunplaza atmosphere more. But we’ve only been there once so far, so I’d like to perform there for a second or third time.

·         How have things changed after Nakano Sunplaza?

The biggest change is that we decided to make Musumen. into our full-time jobs. Up until now we had to balance working for a company with our Musumen. activities. Preparing to focus entirely on Musumen., become professionals and work even harder than before has been the biggest change.

·         Has your viewpoint as a leader also changed?

Fufufu. Ah, sorry, I just remembered something funny. Recently the other members have been saying something similar, that I’ve mellowed out. (Laughs)

·         What were you like before?

I got angry often. (Laughs) I was so concerned with 'the group that I had brought together’ that obsessed over it too much and maybe didn’t appreciate everyone else’s feelings enough. Now I’m just teased by the members all the time. We have a very comfortable relationship.

·         Do you have any theories about how to be a leader?

I’m not very self-confident and, to be honest, even now I worry about these things, so I read various accounts and learn from those. I like to know what the leaders of other groups think.

·         How dedicated…

Ahahaha. But I know for sure that I’m not the type of leader to say, “Just follow me!” I have an ideal of what a leader should be, but since I’ve also started to think that it’s good to have lots of different types of leaders, I’ve become more at ease with myself.

·         Do you ask the members for advice when you’re struggling?

I’m the type of person who doesn’t like to ask for help when I’m struggling, be it with work or in my private life. It can be difficult sometimes, but I don’t want to show anyone my weaknesses. I’ve always been like that.

·         Musumen. are currently in the middle of their first 47 prefecture tour, but this year has been busy with things outside of the tour as well. With the launch of the official fanclub and the weekly broadcast on TV Saitama, you’re gradually increasing your activities.

Up until now we’ve focussed on our online activities, but we all felt strongly that we wanted to appear on TV so that more people could find out about us. Also, one day I want to say, “Good evening to everyone watching Countdown TV, we’re Musumen.!” (Laughs)

·         It seems the bond between members is growing stronger this tour.

When the group began we were just friends, but now that we’re doing this as a job, I hope we can be honest with each other, maybe argue sometimes, and grow. I want to make each of our dreams come true together with the other members.

·         And your dreams are gradually expanding.

There are so many things I want to do. This is just something I’ve been hoping for myself, but I’d like to do something like a musical as Musumen..

·         It must feel like you’re stepping into unchartered territory.

It really does, because there’s nobody to tell us how to do it. (Laughs) Right now we’re concentrating on our nationwide tour so that we can say thank you to all of our fans even in the rural areas. We’ll be visiting somewhere close to everyone so please wait for us there!

He wants to stand out, but he’s also too shy.

·         We’d like to know more about you, so if you could explain yourself in a few words what would you say?

Fufufu.

·         What are you laughing at? (Laughs) In a previous interview you said, “I’m usually quiet, but I’m passionate about the things I love.”

That’s true. I’m not very assertive so I’m not the type to kick up a fuss, and I enjoy having time to myself so I immerse myself in things I’m interested in.

·         You also said that the other members think your room is dirty.

That’s also true, I have nothing else to say about that. (Laughs)

·         What are your strong points?

I’m really bad at suggesting strong points, but I can think of loads of weak points…When this comes up in questionnaires, I usually put 'None’. If I really have to put something, I say that I’m quiet or determined, but that’s basically a nicer way of saying that I’m gloomy and selfish. My way of thinking has always been negative.

·         Really?

Fundamentally I have little self-confidence. As a child I wanted to stand out but I was also too shy, and I’m still the same now.

·         Were you a leader during your school days?

I was the kind of child who couldn’t put his hand up, even though I really wanted to. If someone picked me I’d pretend I couldn’t be bothered and just say, “Whatever,” but in my heart I was jumping for joy. I guess I was kind of sulky. (Laughs)

·         I thought you’d have had a more central role in the class…

I was more the type to sit quietly in the corner. I think that’s why people who used to know me are surprised when they see me now. (Laughs)

·         How do you like to spend your days off?

I don’t like early mornings, but I don’t want to waste the whole day, so I try to wake up at 9 or 10am when I can. I usually like to go to the cinema. Films are best seen on the big screen so the cinema is really great. Even if work finishes late, I still go there alone sometimes. …also I often go to the gym.

·         We heard that your body weight reached 59kg thanks to that gym habit!

That was true, but since we’re in the middle of the tour, I can tell that I’m losing weight again. We perform twice a day so our calorie expenditure is crazy, and sometimes we can’t find the time to eat…At the moment I’m desperately working to maintain my body weight.

·         If you compare yourself to the start, have you put on muscles?

I can’t really tell by myself, but people have started telling me that my build has improved. Especially around my shoulders and chest. I’m aiming to unashamedly strip for a gravure magazine one day. (Laughs)

Which Musumen. member would he marry?

·         Do you still live with the other members in the share house?

Actually we moved out of the share house recently.

·         So everyone’s in separate places now?

No, we all moved to the same block of apartments. All that’s really changed is we now have our own separate front doors. We still go out and come home together so it’s basically the same as it always has been. We sometimes bump into each other at the local supermarket too. (Laughs)

·         It must be reassuring to have the other members nearby.

I’m really scared of insects and have to get someone else to help me when one appears, so I’m really glad that the other members are close by. (Laughs)

·         Which member do you get along with the best?

I guess that’d be Tomitake. He’s the one I go out with most often. Our personalities are completely different but he’s easy to talk to.

·         There are lots of different types of people in Musumen., but who do you think is the most popular?

Hmm, I wonder…let me think for a moment please. (Brief thinking period)…… Tomitake, Nokkuso, Nibansenji or Forgeru. I think these 4 are well-liked.

·         I see. Please tell us why you chose them.

Tomitake is very talkative and takes care of you so he’s fun to be around. Nokkuso is similar, he’s the one who starts conversations so you don’t have to worry about that when you’re with him.

·         What about Nibansenji?

He’s slender, tall and handsome, like a character you’d find in a shoujo manga. He’s not the type to actively do something for you like Tomitake, but he won’t leave you on your own either. When it comes to him, even I sometimes think, “Well, what can you do? That’s Nibansenji,” so no wonder the girls find him cute. (Laughs)

·         And Forgeru?

He’s a stylish guy so he’d probably bring you along to a café or the latest popular shops.

·         If you were a girl, which member would you want to date?

I’d like someone who could take care of various things for me so…

·         So, Tomitake or Forgeru?

Mm, if you’d asked which member I’d marry the answer would be a bit different. If I were to marry one of them it’d be Nozakibento. He’s very reliable and I think he’s the most mature of all of Musumen..

·         …so you think about dating and marriage in different ways? (Laughs)

Ahahaha. I’m sure it’d be fun to date Tomitake or Forgeru, but I think it’d be different if they asked me to get married. It makes me kind of uneasy. (Laughs)

·         (Laughs) You didn’t mention him here, but what about Aoi?

To me Aoi is like a really cute younger brother, so I can’t imagine dating or marrying him at all. If I were a girl and there was a boy like Aoi in my class, I’m sure I’d like him, and if I were Aoi I think I’d get a bit cocky about that. (Laughs)

Imagining the ideal date plan.

·         Now we’d like to find out more about your views on love. What type of girls do you like?

Someone who can laugh without trying to play it cool. I like people who laugh with a lot of energy and don’t hide their mouths with their hands.

·         Suppose that you were dating someone. Please tell us your ideal date plan.

My ideas are kind of childish. I can’t really take someone along to see the beautiful night sky or to a fancy restaurant. Just imagining saying, “Shall we go and admire the night-time scenery?” is so embarrassing. (Blush)

·         Please feel free to give us a date plan that’s in your own style. (Laughs)

It might be cliché but I really like going to the aquarium, so I’d like to go on an aquarium date.

·         Where will your meeting place be?

……

·         You’re just going to meet on location?! (Laughs)

Fufufu. People often tell me that I’m the type who’ll never be able to get married, but I didn’t really consider going to pick her up at her house… I guess I just think about what’s the most convenient or efficient way to meet up. (Laughs)

·         I see. (Laughs) At the aquarium or the museum people go around at different speeds, but how about you?

I like to take my time to see everything and read all the information panels.  I’ve been to aquariums with the other Musumen. members when we visit places for our tours, but everyone rushes ahead of me. I’ve always thought they go too fast. (Laughs)

·         Which aquarium impressed you the most?

The Churaumi Aquarium in Okinawa. They have a huge whale shark in this massive tank. I was really moved because I’d never seen an animal that giant so close before. It really made me think about how small and insignificant humans are.

·         That’s deep… So where’s next after the aquarium?

……

·         Don’t tell me you’re going to end it there!? (Laughs) Let’s go for dinner!

This is one of my flaws but I’m not really bothered about food. I just go to places that are fast, cheap and tasty…

·         Like Gyudon?

Ahahaha. I guess something like that. (Laughs) That’s why girls who want me to do lots of things with them would be dissatisfied dating me.

·         Would you rather she be the one to lead you along somewhere?

Definitely, I’d be happier if she herself told me the places that she wants to go. Also I can help her out if she’s worried about home electronics! Since I’m pretty enthusiastic about electronics.

·         Home electronics?!

I really like them. I enjoy researching about different types, so when I was in middle school I got pamphlets from all the mobile network carriers and checked them down to the fine details. In my class I was the one to go to if anyone wanted information on mobile phones. I think I wouldn’t have lost out in knowledge even to an employee in a big store. (Laughs)

·         Wandering around the electronics shops sounds fun!

Yay!! It’d definitely be fun!! I like furniture too, so visiting furniture stores could also be fun…Maybe I can recover your impressions of me with this. (Laughs)

[cielwritesshit]

Wait, NATSU!!! - Gratsu

Summary - Gray is feeling that his days are blurring together. He goes to school, works a shift at 8-Island, then heads home, without much variation day to day. Except for this day, when his daily commute to work is interrupted by a boy with pink hair. A boy that Gray cannot remember the name of for the life of him. 

MAJOR TRIGGER WARNINGS!!! Natsu is incredibly depressed in this one. Also, attempted suicide, suicide, and homophobic slurs (briefly). Do NOT read if that is a trigger for you.

You have been warned, I'll be waiting in the comments with tissues :)

A big thank you to @fuckyeahgratsu for finding this on Ao3 before I had chance to post it here :)

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Gray had to admit, his life was pretty boring. His life seemed to be on repeat, never changing schedule for even a full day. When his alarm went off, he’d get up. While he was at school, lessons dragged on. Lunch ended up being a drag as well, although he got the chance to look at the really pretty pinkett that also had lunch at the same time as him. When he was walking to is job at 8-Island, he always took the same route, which had him crossing a large bridge over a fast-flowing river. Everyday, he’d pass the same people heading to, and leaving, the city center. Nothing changed, ever.

Except for today, it seemed.

It was raining. Normally, it didn’t rain, but since Autumn was drawing to an end, Gray didn’t find it too weird. He’d just stepped onto the bridge when he saw a pink blur run past him, knocking his shoulder on its way past. Gray looked down slightly, checked that his shoulder was okay, before carrying on across the bridge. He was trying to work out who’d run past, since normally, that didn’t happen. Gray could tell that he was male, and could see a mess of pink hair. They guy looked incredibly familiar, he must share a class or two at school. But the thing that worried Gray was that he was visibly shaking, almost as if he was crying. Anxiety getting the better of him, Gray decided that it would be okay if he was a few minutes late to his shift. So, he turned around, following the boy, trying to remember his name. After all, if someone he knew was crying, then he wanted to help.

The boy kept running until he got to the middle of the bridge. Gra struggled to keep up, his bag weighing him down. So, he ended up dropping it and sprinting after the kid. Luckily, he didn’t have to run far before he other boy stopped. They were halfway across, and right over the river. That’s when the boy decided to climb up onto the wall that was there to stop people from accidentally falling off. Gray was shocked, but hurried his ass up, he didn’t want to see the boy jump off. There was no way that he’d survive.

“Wait, please!” Gray shouted, hoping that the other could hear him. The boy turned his head, showing that yes, he was crying. And it looked like he’d been cryin for a while. It didn’t help that it was raining, meaning that ray had to pray he wouldn’t slip on his way over. He skidded to a stop when he was finally close enough to talk normally. It didn’t help that Gray couldn’t remember the kid’s name. It was something important. Was it a place? A season?

“Why are you up there? What made you run?” he asked, running through names in his head. Was it Fuyu? Aki? Haru? What was it...

“It doesn’t matter! Especially not to you!” The kid shouted. Gray didn’t realise that the kid would be angry as well. “You don’t even know my name!” The boy was clearly distraught, and Gray didn’t want to make the moment worse.

“Hey, take it easy. It does matter to me!” Gray responded, getting annoyed at himself, that he had no idea how to handle the situation. The guy’s name was on the tip of his tongue, he’d nearly got it. “Can you please come down from there? On this side of the wall? I just want to talk to you.” Gray held out his hand. He locked eyes with the boy. He’d started running his hands through the once-spiky mane on his head. Gray knew he should know the kid, they had to share a class or something. Was it Nathan? No, it was a Japanese name, what the hell was it?

“O-Okay. But if I don’t feel better, I’m gonna climb back onto the wall.” The boy shuffled his feet, before raising his hand to try to meet Gray’s. He had to lean slightly, shifting his balance, as Gray moved to meet his hand. However, at that moment, a car drove past, splashing rain water all over the two of them. It hit with such a force that it off-balanced him, and he slipped starting to fall backwards. The boy screamed.

Nate - Nat -

“NATSU!!!” Gray shouted, as he darted forwards, grabbing the boy’s wrist and pulling him upright, then down off of the wall, and close to his chest. Natsu wrapped his free arm around Gray, and sobbed, tears streaming down his face. His hair was getting in his eyes, and he just looked so broken. Gray held onto Natsu, slowly letting them drop to the floor. The floor that was completely soaked by rain. But at that very moment, it didn’t matter to either of them. Natsu curled up, holding onto Gray as if he was a lifeline. He’d got one arm round Gray’s back, and the other crossed over his body, clutching the necklace that Gray always wore. Gray was thankful for it when he realised what was happening.

“Shh, it’s okay, I’ve got you. I’m here Natsu.” Gray gently wiped a tear from Natsu’s face. He wasn’t sure when he himself started crying, but once he had, he couldn’t stop the tears from rolling down his face. Natsu kept his gaze on the necklace in his hand, voice shaking.

“I… I g-got kicked out-t. O-of the k-kid’s home.” Natsu started. “T-they saw me hugging Sting a-and flipped. Th-Thought we w-were together I had t-two minutes to g-grab my stuff and get out, th-they told me that I should just jump off the bridge, sin-since no-one could-d l-love a f-fag like me.” Natsu clung tighter to Gray, stumbling over his words. “That was-s a w-week ago. I- uh, I’ve b-been sleeping rough. Th-then when I, when I forgot t-to hand in my assignment today, the teacher screamed at me. I just couldn’t take it anymore.” Natsu completely broke down.

Gray was shocked. How could an organisation do that to Natsu? And the teacher, what was he thinking? Gray remembered that incident from earlier in the day, why didn’t he recognise Natsu sooner?

The two of them sat in silence, Natsu still crying, Gray running a hand through Natsu’s pink hair, that was laying flat against his head. Gray knew that normally it would be sticking up straight, that it was normally an untamable mess, but the rain seemed to have flattened it.

I guess the rain is heavier than I thought.

“You could always stay with me,” Gray broke the silence between the two of them. Natsu looked up at him, his eyes shining. “We don’t have much, but there’d be a bed to sleep on, food to eat, and a roof over your head. Lyon may fuss a bit, and mom and Ultear might be a bit annoyed at having another boy in the house, but they’d let you stay.” Gray looked into Natsu’s eyes, which were filling with fresh tears. Gray brought his hand out of Natsu’s hair and rested it on his leg instead, completely missing the slight hitch in Natsu’s breath.

“Y-you’d do that? F-for me?” Natsu could feel the tears starting to fall down his face. Again. He hated being such a crybaby.

“Of course. But I won’t make you come with m-” Natsu pulled Gray into a bone-crushing hug. It was awkward, and uncomfortable as hell, but in that moment, it didn’t matter to either of them.

“Thank you Gray.” Gray returned the hug. “Thank you so much.”

“It’s fine. You, er, you know my name?” Gray asked, helping Natsu to his feet. Natsu blushed.

“Well, yeah, ‘course I do. We’re in the same class at school. But, I, um, don’t really talk much.” Natsu grabbed his bag, refusing to look Gray in the eyes as he grabbed the boys hand. Gray payed it no mind, Natsu would be completely drained after breaking down like that.

“That’s okay. Let’s go home Natsu. You need to get out of those clothes before you catch a cold.” Gray interlocked their fingers and started to walk towards the other end of the bridge, trying to work out why the butterflies in his stomach were back.

[sage-thrasher]

Extra: “Sanitize” and Sen’s Story

This is a side story for Sanitize, and it takes place after Chapter 8. It contains spoilers, and it won’t make any sense unless you’re caught up. This is more of a... what if? It has no link to the story canon. Is this actually what happened? That’s up to you. But I wanted to write it, so I did. With no further ado, here’s Decay.

Sebastian didn’t like his name. It felt like a shirt that didn’t fit, pinching under the arms, tight in the wrong places and loose in the others. He was six when he told his parents that he wanted to be called only by his nickname—Seb. It still wasn’t right. There was a sound that didn’t fit. But it was closer, much closer, and easy to ignore.

His parents indulged him. They usually did. He was a surprise baby born to an older couple who’d long given up on their dreams for children. (Seb didn’t know why being an only child made him so sad. He felt like there was a hole in his family; he always expected soft smiles and chattering and sharing things he’d never have to share.)

Seb knew he was lucky. His parents were upper-middle class, one a lawyer and the other an engineer. They loved, if not spoiled him, providing everything he’d ever needed or wanted. So why did he hate wasting food and throwing things away? Why was he so frugal, storing his allowance like it could be taken away any minute? (Why did he have these dreams?)

In school, he knew things that other kids didn’t. Seb had to learn the alphabet with the other kids, he had to read the history textbooks and study, but things came easier for him. Part of it was his parents, both who spent hours helping him learn, but some of it, he couldn’t explain. When he saw a dandelion, he didn’t want to make a wish. He didn’t admire the flower. Seb instead thought inflammation and liver problems.

Still, he was happy. Seb liked people, he liked talking to them and making friends, he liked basketball and video games and bad science fiction, and he liked to learn. He went through elementary and middle school as a gifted, social child, one who almost everybody liked.

(Sometimes, he’d pick up a printed book and marvel at how flawless it was. Sometimes, he’d look at a car or a computer and part of him would dismiss it like a normal teenager, and other times he’d stare, thinking it was magic.)

When Seb started 9th grade in a decent private school, one of the requirements was taking a foreign language. For some reason he couldn’t explain, he chose Japanese. Any of the other options—Spanish, French, Chinese, Latin—would be more practical. But something tugged at him to do it, so he did. His intuition was rarely wrong.

When Seb sat down in his first class and somehow knew the letters and words for a language he’d never heard before, he began to remember. Nothing concrete, nothing that made sense, but he remembered.

The next day, he started a garden.

The day after that, he decided to become a doctor.

Seb worked hard, in school and in his garden. He threw himself into academics with the same stubbornness he used to pull up weeds or argue with his friends. Seb was still a regular teen. He flirted with girls, went to homecoming and parties and football games. But everyone, his parents and teachers and friends, knew something was different.

He had a sense of focus, a sense of grounding and understanding that made no sense for a rich teenager to have. (Why would someone like Seb know how to splint a broken leg with a stick and a shirt without first aid training? How could he speak Japanese so well? Why did his eyes become unfocused because of the strangest things?)

In college, he majored in plant science and took all the classes he needed for medical school. When he took medicinal botany, he fell in love again, and he knew he was doing the right thing. When Seb volunteered in hospitals, shadowing and writing notes, some procedures rung a faint bell. His favorite place to observe was the ER, a place where that feeling of half-remembrance was the strongest.

He applied in his junior year and was quickly accepted into multiple programs. He picked the one with a focus on emergency medicine. Med school was one of the hardest things he’d ever done. (One of, because the dreams of holding a dying child and being unable to save her still made him wake up in cold sweats.) His fellow students joked and marveled about his steady hand in the practicals, telling him that he should become a surgeon. His professors had said so too, but Seb knew his calling.

As soon as he was able, after graduation and exams and residency, Seb joined a nonprofit and left straight to rural health clinic in the middle of nowhere.

It felt like home.

He had two colleagues: Reid, a dark-skinned Briton with Jamaican heritage, and Akari, a sharp-tongued Japanese woman. They helped him man the desk, deliver babies, conduct surgeries, drive ambulances, and everything else. The three of them had to do everything, and Seb had never felt happier or more fulfilled. Sure, the internet was spotty, he got homesick for his family, and he always had a real craving for french fries, but this was what he’d always wanted to do. It never disappointed.

The first time Seb spoke to Akari in Japanese, it had been an accident. She’d mumbled and cursed to herself after their failing ultrasound machine broke again. “Stupid piece of trash. Why do we even bother fixing it?”

“Ye, ‘tis more suited for waste heap, yet mayhap it be better than none,” he’d replied without thinking.

Startled, Akari had stared at him for several seconds, expression changing to mortification as she tried to remember all the other times she’d spoken Japanese in front of him. Her first question was then “You speak Japanese? Since when?” which was followed quickly by “You speak Japanese like that?”

“What do you mean?”

“Your Japanese sounds... old, like a thing from a period drama. As if you were a peasant for a samurai or lord,” she said, laughing. “But it is very good,” she quickly added. “Almost flawless. Did you learn from TV?”

He shrugged and hummed noncommittally, letting her draw her own conclusions. Akari took his agreement at face value, But, after a moment, she said, “Would you like me to teach you? How to speak more normally?”

Seb squashed down the instinctive feeling of ‘I already speak normally!’ and instead smiled. “I’d like that.”

After that, their friendship became something more. Japanese lessons became long conversations. Their brief moments of free time in the clinic were spent entirely with each other. It got to a point that their patients would giggle, asking if they should call a priest or gather flowers. Even their colleague Reid had begun to crack jokes, even complaining that the lovebirds made him homesick for his own boyfriend.

Well. They weren’t wrong. Akari and Seb did end up married, after a hopelessly long and oblivious infatuation from both sides, after fumbling dates and growing love and an even more awkward simultaneous proposal. Reid was his best man, and his speech was long and embarrassing and the funniest thing that Seb had ever heard. Everyone cried at least once, including Seb’s parents, Akari, her parents (though her father tried to hide it during his stilted speech) and Seb himself. It was one of the happiest moments of his life.

(Yet, even at the wedding, he could hear that same voice whispering: You’re twice as old as you were then. You spent twice as long on this world. Why won’t you let go?)

Akari and Seb had decided on two children. Based on the results of a coin toss, the first child would have a Japanese first name and an English middle one, and the second would have the reverse. As they flipped through page after page of baby names, scrolled through page after page, they couldn’t quite find a first name that fit both their tastes. The middle name would be Madison, for no reason besides they liked how it sounded. 

It was during another session of name-searching that his wife had asked, “What do you think of Yui?”

It felt like someone had grabbed his heart and squeezed it.

“Seb?”

“Yui?” he managed to say. 

“Yes. I like how it flows, don’t you?”

He walked over, heart pounding, and wrapped his arms around Akari. “How is it spelled?”

“In English, it’d look like this,” she highlighted the letters on the screen, “but there are many kanji combinations that could be used for Yui.”

She scrolled down, showing him each one. One in particular caught his eye, with the symbols for only and robe. Something warm and kind and unbelievably sad enveloped him, and he could hear a voice whisper: It will be better.  

He shook his head slowly. “How about this spelling?” he said, pointing at the one below it. Ties, it read. The ties that bind one person to another. One world to the next.

“I like it!” Akari grinned at him, and Seb kissed the top of her head.

When their daughter was born, when Seb sat next to his exhausted and adoring wife, when he held the little wrinkled baby who cried defiantly to the world...

“Yui,” he murmured, and he smiled through his tears.

It will be better.

And it was.

[nashvilletonihon]

To Stay Or Not To Stay...That Is The Million Dollar Question.

I’m currently sitting at my desk in the Kumihama teacher’s room. It’s Finals Week here so everyone is buzzing around and it sounds like a busy hive of bees. The students already look broken, defeated, tired. It’s been a long couple of weeks for me so I can only imagine what it’s been like for them.

I’m honestly not sure where October and November went. I remember being glad that September was over the minute it became October 1st and then suddenly I was celebrating Halloween with my ESS Club students and then it was November 1st. Now it’s 1 day away from my birthday (which I haven’t even thought about) and then it will be December 1st. 

What. Is. Happening??? 

When I first arrived here I thought time had literally stopped. I was stuck in an endless loop of being unhappy, lonely and sad I was drowning in my own misery. Fast forward to now. November 29th. In two short months I will have to give the JET Program and my contracting schools an answer to the question of whether or not I would like to re-contract. If I say yes, my schools will then have to decide whether or not they want to extend my contract for another year. If they do, I’d be working for them again during another trip around the sun. If they don’t...well, the decision to stay or go will have been made for me.

I’ve talked to my mom and a few close friends about my decision to potentially live in Japan for another year or to move back to the States. My mother encouraged me to make a Pros and Cons list. (Something I’ve always done when faced with major, life-changing decisions.) It’s currently taped to the back of my bedroom door and at the moment, both sides are neck and neck. Neither the Pros nor the Cons have advanced past the other. Hurray for me right? How does a list like that help when they’re dead even?! 

I think about what my life would be like in both scenarios. If I stay for another year I can continue to work toward my (absolutely insane) goal of eventually taking the JLPT N2. It’s an incredibly difficult test for non-native speakers that requires A LOT of work to pass. One of my friends and fellow JET’s is getting ready to take it this Sunday. She studied Japanese for four years in college AND studied abroad here and even she’s worried passing it. I wonder if I could accomplish my goal in another year and a half. If I worked my a** off, I bet I could. I at least want to take and pass the N3. (Which I’m pretty sure I can do.) That being said, if I pass the N2 I could get a job as a translator or interpreter which is something I would really enjoy doing. I could translate anime or manga or work for the government or tourism board in cities like Los Angeles, New York, Chicago, Seattle, etc... Living in Japan for another year would allow me to continue to be exposed to native speakers and Japanese every single day. The minute I move back to America I no longer have that luxury. Even though I’ve only been here for 4 months my comprehension and understanding has grown exponentially. I would be jeopardizing all of the hard work I’ve put in up ‘til now. 

A major Con of continuing to live in Japan is being away from my family and friends for another year. I video chat with my momma every single day and it always pains me to have to talk to her through a phone screen. I miss being able to hop in my car and drive the 2 1/2 hours to Indiana to see her whenever I wanted. Now we constantly have to coordinate when we both have free time to talk. Being 15 hours ahead of her in the States (thaaaaanks Daylight Savings) makes things difficult, but we manage. I miss her hugs. I also struggle a lot with the fact that I am losing out on valuable time with my grandparents. I know they won’t be around forever and the guilt associated with being over here while they continue grow older is more than I can put into words. I know my family is proud of me for following my dreams but that doesn’t make being over here any easier.

Another Con (or Pro depending on how you look at it) is that I have ZERO job prospects moving back to America. Absolutely nothing. In theory I could pick up over hire work in theatre at TPAC, Nash Rep, Studio Tenn or advertise myself as a costume designer (a position I have long had a love/hate relationship with) but to be completely honest, none of that sounds very appealing right now. I’m tired of living paycheck to paycheck and constantly being worried about if I’ll be able to afford rent (we all know how ridiculous it is to live in Nashville now) or make my car payment. Yeah, yeah I know. ‘’That’s what being involved in the arts is all about! You have to suffer for it!’’ Whoever thought that was a good excuse for people to live a stressful, poor lifestyle just so they can follow their passion can shove it. It’s ridiculous we even have to do that in the first place. Yes, I want to act. Yes, it’s my everything. Yes, it’s what I am good at. But I don’t want to constantly have to struggle when I could work toward a job that I can make good money doing while ALSO acting. Is that me selling out to have a secure day job and moonlight as an actor? Maybe. I’ll be 29 on Friday. If I stay another year in Japan I’ll turn 30 here. It’s hard to believe I’m so close to being out of my twenties already. While I feel the proverbial clock ticking when it comes to the stereotypical “old actress” trope, I have to remind myself that most well-known actors didn’t even get started until their mid-30′s. I’ve got time. And being bilingual will look really cool on my resumé.

So what’s another Pro about continuing to live in Japan? Saving more money, yo. Being here for another year means more savings in the bank. It’s a pretty simple concept that would allow me to not freak out about finances when I finally move back to the States. As someone who had an incredible amount of financial stability when I lived in Los Angeles to being left with nothing after I moved to Nashville, financial stability is now incredibly important to me. (I can hear my father slow clapping from 11,000 miles away.) I’m not one for caring about money (never have been) but if I could keep adding to the savings account while also working toward a career that would help me in the long run, I’ll take that option time and time again.

Another Pro I often think about is how many more people can come to visit Japan while I’m here. My Mom, sister (Elizabeth) and friends Taylor and Erica are all coming out to visit me in the months of February and March. If I’m here for another year, even MORE people can come on out to see what this crazy magical country is all about. I think that’s pretty dang cool and am 100% encouraging everyone I know to start looking at flights now. I mean, you’ve got a personal tour guide AND a place to stay!!! What more could you need/want?! 

All in all I have quite a few Pros and Cons on the list. Some of the Cons are dependent on whether or not I can somehow change them into Pros. One example would be the immense distaste I have for my base school. I am there every Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Out of those three days I might be fortunate enough to attend (not teach, mind you) 2 classes, possibly 3. Classes are 50 minutes each if we don’t have a special shortened schedule. So out of 3, 8 hour work days, I am maybe seeing the inside of a classroom for less than 3 hours each week. Compare that to my visit school where I am there on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I have 3 or 4 and sometimes 5 classes a day. I am waaaaay happier at my visit school. I found out that I can talk to my scheduling supervisors to potentially get my schedule switched so that my visit school becomes my base school and my base school becomes my visit school. This would drastically improve my outlook on the situation as a whole. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy the other teachers at my base school (even though I don’t really talk to many of them and vice versa) and they’re all incredibly nice people. I just seem to click better with the teachers at my visit school.

Throughout all of the anxiety, worrying, stressing out and continual ‘’Should I or shouldn’t I’s’’, I have to keep telling myself that ultimately, it’s my decision and mine alone. Will it affect the people close to me? Oh, without a doubt. I know my family will hate to have me away for another year. I run the risk of being forgotten in the Nashville theatre and losing another year of shows. I already feel like my career was just beginning to take off and the desire to follow through with that is one of the strongest pulls back home yet. And then again...I have this intense desire to learn Japanese. REALLY learn it. I want to communicate with my friends, co-workers and the people who have helped to make the adjustment to life in Japan a little bit easier. I want to help Americans visit Japan and not be scared to do so because of the language barrier. Trust me when I say that the the people here are more scared to use English than you are to use Japanese.

I have a lot to think about over the next 2 months, but if I’m being completely honest (and I try to be on here), I am about 90% sure I will stay for another year. I don’t think my work in Japan is done yet. I think I can help more students, engage more cultural exchanges, help the current JTE’s teach their classes more efficiently and help infuse fun ways of learning into the mundane textbook lessons. I want to start a pen-pal exchange with the girls in my English Speaking Society Club with students from my aunt’s high school in Indiana. There is so much I want to do...and 8 more months just isn’t enough time to do it all.

Before I end this, it’s important to me that I thank the countless people, both family members and friends, who have listened to my doubts, fears, concerns and indecision about all of this over the past month. Your unwavering support and constant encouragement mean so much to me. I honestly wouldn’t still be here without your love and kindness. I am truly, truly grateful to have each and every one of you in my life, both here and abroad. Y’all the real MVP’s. 

I’m sorry there aren’t any photos in this post. I’m heading to Kyoto City tomorrow for a Skills Conference and will be there all weekend. I’m going sightseeing and Christmas shopping and will be taking lots of photos so I will have plenty to write about come next week. On that note I will wrap this up and say goodbye for now. I keep telling myself I’ll be better at updating and posting and I swear I will start now. Thanks for always being patient with me!!

じゃあまた (See you!)

- レイチェル (Rachel)

[thetrueghostqueen]

Day One and Already a Bad First Impression- A Fated Prophecy

masterlist   cover  characters   prologue   chapter 1 

Over the course of the week the Gods kids settled in. Most of them stayed in their lodgings and only spoke to each other. A few of them left and met some people. BamBam for instance met a group of girls who called themselves DreamCatchers.

   The DreamCatchers were a seven girl coven of Dark witches. BamBam had to admit that they were smokin' hot. He also met some druids and nymphs that he wouldn't mind spending more time with.

   It was a pretty good week. They all seemed to adjust to their new surroundings, even if they all weren't thrilled with coming here.  

  It was the first day of class. BamBam was finishing the last embellishments to his outfit when Yugyeom, Adarra, and Jungkook came into the main living area. Although the rest of the family was awake it was only the four of them that had to leave early. They would be at second period when the others went to first.  

 BamBam and Adarra had all of their morning classes together. Jungkook and Yugyeom had their first period together. All 15 of them would meet up for lunch and then go their separate ways until dinner. Hoseok and Jackson were teasing them about their early start. BamBam and Jungkook adopted Adarra's finger habit and flicked them off as they left for the day.

   The four of them made their way to the main campus of the school. They said their good byes and split off into two's.  In class BamBam and Adarra found seats beside each other and sat down. Adarra placed her bag behind her like a pillow and lifted her legs to lay across the desk.  

 A few of the guys in the class tried to catch her attention and BamBam chuckled as Adarra blew them off with her obscene finger gestures.  

  After a couple of minutes the Professor or the class appeared and called everyone to order. Adarra took the time to lay her head back. The Professors eyes landed on the two new additions to the school and slithered his way around the desks towards them.  

 The Professor spoke to the Gods kids. BamBam couldn't help but notice that he sounded like he was speaking parseltongue from Harry Potter. "Rule number one of my Classss. No Glassessss unlesssss they are needed for reading."

  BamBam removed the sunglasses that he was wearing. They had all taken to the glasses to stop people from staring at their unusual eyes.

 The Professor looked at Adarra when she made no move to follow the rule. " You too." The Professor spoke again. Adarra still sat there ignoring him.

    "Sir, she can't remove her glasses." BamBam spoke up.

 "Jussst becausse you are sspecial doessssn't give you sspecial privilegesss." The Professor argued. "Two, I do not need you to ssspeak for her Sshe hasss a mouth."

 The Professor's slithered speech began to annoy BamBam. "Adarra is the daughter of Ryujin and Asherah. Both her eyes and her voice put any not of full GOD hood under her thrall. Now if you and everyone in this class or school would like to obey her every command by all means continue to push." As BamBam spoke a glow began to form around him until the brightness overtook the room. " If that is not what you want, I advise you to LET IT GO!!"

  The Professor stared at BamBam for a moment before audibly swallowing and nodding. " Forgive me son of RA." The Professor made his way back to the front of the classroom to begin the lesson about the wars of mortal men.  

 Class went by quickly after the initial hiccup. The next class was outdoors for weapons or power training. The whole school participates at the same time.  Adarra made a mad dash over to Jinyoung as soon as she saw him.  BamBam joined Yugyeom, Jungkook, and V. Over on the other side of them Namjoon, Jin, Mark, and Yoongi stood together. Adarra was with Jinyoung, Jaebum, and Hoseok. Jackson was with Jimin and Youngjae.  

   For those that were in power training, which meant the Gods kids, Demi Gods, Druids, Witches, Fae, and some other magical based creatures they were ushered towards a stadium that was created to be a safe space to harness powers without destroying anything.

  Everyone was told to take a seat and would get their turn in time. Adarra and Jinyoung were first. Jinyoung attacked with various forms of magic. Summoning dead warriors, creating deadly plants that spit acids and nasty venoms, and the list goes on.  

  Adarra deflected everything Jinyoung threw at her before shifting into a dragon. Her dragon form was a sight to behold. Her scales were the same color blue as her hair in human form and they were etched with gold markings. She is a cross between a European and a Japanese dragon.

 Once in dragon form she charged Jinyoung and pinned him down. The mock battle was ended when she licked his face and he tapped out. She shifted back and with a silent laugh slung her arm across his shoulder and went to sit down.

  The nest hour they saw Demi-Gods, Druids, Witches, and Fae take their shots. Jin and Yugyeom were the next God kids called.

 Both were given the instruction to concentrate and feel the power within. This was the time to discover who they were not show off like the first two members of their family did.  

 Yugyeom was the first to succeed. The non existent wind in the arena began to pick up until it was reaching category four hurricane territory. With a struggling nod from the Professor, Yugyeom cut off the winds.

 Jin summoned a Hunt. Ghost like archers appeared all around the arena. Before he could cut off the power his body began to charge with electricity and the booming sound of thunder could be heard.

 Youngjae and Yoongi were next. Youngjae summoned a golden chariot that eerily matched Apollo's and he summoned a group of slain warriors that charged at Yoongi.  

 Yoongi whom up until the warriors began to charge appeared to be sleeping raised his arm and poppies and gold dust fell around the arena. The warriors disappeared and he was asleep on his feet once more.  

  Jackson shifted into a large black panther and summoned Hades' Hell steads and chariot. Jaebum shifted into a massive lion. Mark was able to manipulate any power he saw. He was also able to shift his person and voice to match anyone he wanted. Hoseok brought the sound of Thunder and made lightning dance around the arena.

 BamBam took center arena. Greenish fog rolled around him and the arena got brighter and brighter until a Professor yelled enough. He gave a sheepish smile when he noted a few druids had gotten scorched.

 Jungkook, Jimin, V, and Namjoon had no success bringing forth their abilities.  

 Class ended for the day. The Gods kids were ordered to stay behind. They kept their seats and waited. Once the arena was cleared the Professors began to speak.

"It has come to our attention that some if not most of you have been less than accepting of integrating with Wieland. You were given a week to acclimate and in that time only a couple of you were seen mingling with others. Every super natural and mythical species attend here. Just because you are Gods doesn't mean you are above or more special than other beings."

  Another Professor continued. "This place was established to help and train beings such as yourselves to be the best that you can be for the betterment of our world. To work with you to achieve your full potential. Let us help you."

 " Help us?" Jinyoung scoffed. "The classes you have us in are crap. This school should be renamed Remedial Learning for Morons. You actually teach classes  that explain you are a werewolf because you have fur every moon cycle and turn into a rabid man dog. How does that help us?"

The first Professor spoke again. " It helps because knowing what you are and why will help you be stronger and better in the future."

 "You actually believe that?" V Scoffed this time. " You honestly believe we need a class that tells us You are Gods because your God mother and your God father screwed each other and here you are?"

 The first Professor sighed. " In a way yes. Not every student understands why they are what they are. Many ponder why they were born this way. It's our job to teach and help."

  "Did we wake up in a different universe? Are we in Harry Potter where a muggle can give birth to a witch?" Jinyoung asked incredulously. " This is the real world. You can't be a GOD born to two human parents. You can't be..."

 "Demi Gods are born by a human all the time." The second Professor cut Jinyoung off.

Jinyoung stood. His fuse was finally blown. "We're not Demi Gods you moron. We are full GODS. You have never dealt with OUR kind. Yet you stand there and tell US you, YOU know what's best for US!"

 His tirade was cut off by Adarra tugging him back into his seat. The Professors looked at each other not knowing what else to say and not understanding how they lost control of the discussion. They looked to the Gods kids and saw the glares directed towards them. Without another word they turned on their heels and quickly walked out leaving the Gods kids alone in the arena.

 The Gods kids remained for a few moments longer. Namjoon and Jaebum trying to convince everyone to just go with it for now. Even though they themselves agreed with Jinyoung and V. But they were stuck here for who knows how long and constantly butting heads with the Wieland Professors would only hurt them in the long run.

 For the most part everyone begrudgingly agreed and headed to their next class. Only Jinyoung and Adarra remained.

Adarra had been with Jinyoung long enough to know just how angry he was without needing him to say it. She just sat there rubbing calming circles against his back.

 She had been in love with him for 8 years. They had always been close. The kid of an unpredictable dragon God and the kid of a terror and War God connected them on a deep level. They both had volatile tempers and learned early on that only the other could calm them down.

 In a way you could call it fate that a few years later the close friendship they had would progress into love. Adarra was 12 and Jinyoung 15 when they first kissed. 16 and 19 when they first uttered I love you. 18 and 21 when they made their relationship official by getting married.  

 Jinyoung was the first to hold her when she was brought to their home at 3 months old. It was kismet in a way that he would be the one to hold her always.  

 Adarra felt the moment the anger dissipated from Jinyoung. She leaned in and placed a chaste kiss to his lips. " What say we skip the rest of the day?"

 Jinyoung chuckled and turned his head to look at Adarra. " That sounds wonderful. Cuddle up in our bed and watch those cheesy movies you love so much?"

 Adarra grinned and kissed him again. " Yep, but don't lie love. You love those cheesy movies as much as I do. Although I say we don't start with the cheese. We start with..." She paused for a second in thought. " I feel the itch to watch Harry Potter."

 Jinyoung let out a bark of laughter and covered his mouth. " I love you!"

 " I love you too!"

 Off they went to lazy the day away with cuddle time and movies.

[doramaticbites]

Part 1 of Study Strategies for Upper Intermediate to Advanced Learners of Japanese (Masterlist here). 

If you are anything like me, then you must be someone who avoids writing at all costs. Honestly when I had passed N3, there was a time when I was exploring language schools in my area. One of the schools required that we wrote a short essay every two weeks. Guess what? I quit the school.

WHY WRITE?

Now, years later, I’ve learnt that production is absolutely essential when learning a language because without it the effort you put into vocabulary and grammar might as well be moot. Speaking and writing solidifies correct grammar and vocabulary usage.

I think the first time I was really struck by this point is when I went to observe a grammar class in my school. So, in my school, we have 3 different types of English lessons. We have the grammar lessons, which cover a lot of technical stuff with reading passages. We have the communication lessons, which consist of mostly listening and reading comprehension passages. Then we have the classes that I take, which are the are English conversation lessons. What amazed me was that the level at which the students were reading and listening was WAY HIGHER than what we were covering in English conversation classes. However, the students simply could not form a conversation that matched the deep grammar knowledge they had. That’s because the way that they learn is to read and repeat, listen and repeat, one passage at a time. Given a word OUT of the context of that one passage they read/listen to, they are absolutely lost.

So why do I say all this? To emphasise that it is absolutely crucial to write original work because you need to practice using grammar/vocabulary in different contexts. Without production, years of grammar exercises are not going to be embedded well into your brain. Even if you are a beginner learner and you only know a few grammar patterns – write 2 or 3 sentences per day, heck, even per week will do. Write a tweet, a caption for your Instagram photo…absolutely anything!

MY WRITING PROCESS

Since I’ve been in Japan I’ve been asked to write articles for a number of newsletters. What I tried to do at first was to write out my entire article in English, and then try to translate it sentence by sentence. It was pure torture. That’s because sentence structures can be really different. Saying one thing in English can take on a completely different structure in Japanese. I’d have conjunctions, verbs and nouns flying all over the place. By the time I got through with the first paragraph, I’d be on the brink of giving up.

As a language learner, motivation is everything. To be motivated to keep writing, and to keep your own sanity, start writing in Japanese from the get-go.

What I do is I plan what I want to write in English, and then I write my first draft in Japanese. Yes, I do sacrifice certain details when I do this, but it keeps me moving forward. A lot of times in the process of doing this, I’m actually combing through my mental grammar repository. I think ‘Ok, I don’t know how to say it this way, but can I say it in another, simpler way?’

As long as I convey the main points and I don’t sacrifice important content details, I won’t sweat it. If I’m really stuck, I type what I want to say in English and keep moving on.

Only when I’m done do I go back and check grammar dictionaries/textbooks in order to see if I can find some way to change my English sentences to Japanese. If I’m lazy (I usually am), I ask my Japanese tutor. I want to point out though, that my Japanese teacher is not fluent in English. So I explain to her the gist of what I want to say in a mix of broken Japanese and frantically searched words on my dictionary, and she fills in the blanks of what I can’t convey. That in itself is a valuable production process. I’d recommend that even if you have a teacher/tutor, as an intermediate to advanced learner you should never use English unless you absolutely have to. Your teacher shouldn’t be your crutch.

At this point I proofread, sometimes on my own, sometimes with my tutor. And it’s off to the editors, who will, again, make any changes necessary. I always keep my draft with me, because the printed article becomes the feedback I need to improve.

Resources like lang-8 are also definitely useful for getting feedback as an independent student. While I never got motivated enough to keep using lang-8, the feedback I got when I was active was excellent. Basically I rinse and repeat this process for anything I write, in any environment I’m in.

Other things I do include entering Japanese speech contests. The process is more or less the same, except I do get to practice spoken grammar more. It’s never a painless process, but it’s helped me to improve dramatically. Another great thing about preparing for speech contests is that it breaks the monotony of interchanging between grammar drilling and vocabulary building. It consolidates my learning in an interesting way. I highly recommend trying to find one in your vicinity. 

That’s it from me! How do you all motivate yourselves to write? 

[fizzingwizard]

this week is finally Over and i can only cross my fingers that i wont explode during the time i’m here. i never have before, but i am not good with micromanagement. especially since i have taught at so many other schools now that the way this one is run feels like they keep their teachers in a stranglehold. not gonna list everything, it’s a mix of strange requirements, coworkers seemingly like they’ve basically been scared out of ever sharing their own thoughts, tons of attention given to minute details seemingly at random while bigger problems (like hello what I should be teaching for the day!) remain unfinished and disorganized, a stressed out atmosphere, plus i just really don’t like watching other people get yelled at, though I’m grateful I’ve been miraculously spared this week anyway.

i know some of it is just japanese business culture. (japanese managers yell at their staff all the time, maybe they wouldnt even call it yelling, but to me it certainly is - however, they usually dont do it with the foreign teachers. so it’s hard for me to know how much is culturally accepted and the Japanese teachers aren’t bothered because they expect it, and how much is actually over the top. if any. but i def see way more here than anywhere else. other places it’s once in a while, here it’s everyone every day.)

i am really afraid that I’m going to mess things up by being too impatient or raging against perceived injustice but ultimately just becoming an inconvenience. this week I just kept reminding myself “you’re only here month or two,” “the permanent teachers have to deal with this all the time and they manage,” “no one will be on your side if you complain, no matter how justified you feel” “your dad got fired from more than one place because he couldnt swallow his pride, are you gonna be like that too?”

it worked to keep my head down this week. but tbh not much. my nerves were fraying yesterday and thursday, probably someone noticed. only one week in!

today actually went fine - also, I got my period (and it’s so! fun! teaching while feeling like someone spent all day punching me in the crotch!), so it’s possible the reason for my irritability was pms? Or it wasn’t but I’ll get the placebo effect of thinking maybe it was, and becoming more patient as a result lol.

the kids here are fantastic, I have had zero problem children - a group of unruly jr high boys aside, but I can handle them. I’ve faced soooo much worse.

also, over the next few weeks we’ll get all the makeup classes cleared up, which have been one of my biggest sources of trouble because it means soooo much extra lesson planning. Also because the manager keeps changing my schedule at the very last minute. example, up till thursday night i was teaching class A at the end of the day on Sat, but got a note on fri morning that it had been switched to class B. so i was like ok and i squeezed in time to plan that lesson. then today i got in only to find that class B had been changed back to class A. no one told me - no note, nothing - i just looked at the schedule and was like uh... guess the time i spent planning was a waste! This sort of change is annoying but not so bad because at least it was changed to a lesson I was prepared for - sometimes it’s a total surprise and i’m left scrambling. meanwhile my coworker got stuck with that class instead, she had to plan it super fast because we all have 8 hours of classes on sat with no breaks other than lunch (i offered her my materials, but her method is different). she also had to work an hour of overtime, AND she didn’t get to take her “lunch” break till 5 o’clock. that is not a lunch break. holy hell.

^one of the reasons why I need to control my emotions, because my coworkers have been dealing with worse than me for longer.

idk what next week holds but. i don’t know. God please make a wiser person than I am. Since I was a kid I have never known when to shut up.

in spite of all that? the boss of this place is nice to me. and to others - i’ve heard her apologize when she’s made mistakes, and she inquires about our lives, etc. it’s been difficult to go from finding her exasperating to chatting with her normally. seriously i need magic to make this go smoothly. i will either cry or blow up and embarrass myself by the end if i dont learn to face adversity like an adult.