#how exactly will everybody be helped by using the absolute extremes of 'justice'?

[uncanny-tranny]

I think a lot of people don't support punitive justice on a governmental level (good), but they don't understand why punitive justice is overarchingly a bad thing, so they still operate with the idea that it's still the Best Option, but only when they can wield it.

Of course, there is a difference between a government having access to punitive justice and individuals or a small community having access to it, but the mindset is still strikingly similar. I've seen it time and time again where one's desire to destroy after even a small slight outweighs anything else, and that's alarming, actually. Yes, it's understandable, but I still don't think it is a healthy impulse or knee-jerk reaction for every minor affront.

[theonceandfutureking6481]

BBC's Merlin Season 1 Episode 5: Lancelot Analysis

It's Lancelot's first episode which is tremendously exciting. I remember the first time I watched this show (last year- I really make it sound like it was much longer than it is), I wasn't particularly attached to him but on my second rewatch I loved him, I loved his and Merlin's friendship and I loved his sheer nobility and decency. Lancelot is of course typically one of the most central characters in telling's of the Arthurian legend, so of course his appearance is exciting. Also excitingly an episode where I talk about someone other than Arthur! Yeah, if you can't tell Arthur's my favourite character. I'm not sure how clear my point is throughout all of this, its hard to articulate but I hope I've done it justice.

"Sir Lancelot, the bravest and the most noble of them all"

This is a quote from much later in the show but it explains something very fundamental about Lancelot's character. Lancelot is supposed to be the chivalric ideal, in most versions of the story he is portrayed as such, as the only knight who really comes close to fulfilling it. Lancelot's fault that puts the dent in him being the true epitome of the noble chivalric knight is his love for Guinevere, and its actually his son Galahad (who doesn't exist in Merlin) who achieves this ideal. However, the point remains that Lancelot is almost there, his character is typically about a person who almost achieves this ideal of chivalry, and they run with this in Merlin, out of all the knights he is the most knightly, the most committed, the one most devoted to its ideals.

Lancelot talks like our idea of a knight, its kind of hard to explain but the way he talks is straight out of chivalric romances, out of films about knights. You notice it because everyone in this show talks in quite a contemporary way, its an Arthurian legend for people of today and the characters talk like it, but Lancelot just doesn't, he talks like a knight from a fairytale. It's just a small detail, but it really plays into the perception of Lancelot as the epitome of chivalric honour.

I'd argue that he represents a knighthood Arthur believes in, before he even realises it himself, a kind of honour that's about devotion to one another and helping others and fighting injustice. Arthur and Lancelot do get on extremely well, despite the fact that Lancelot, in Arthur's own words, doesn't sound or look like a knight. His passionate defense of him to his father, as well as the fact that Arthur releases him from prison without his father's approval is because Arthur respects him and admires him and probably because he sees him as a friend. King Arthur's court is often the ideal representation of chivalry, stories like these about chivalrous knights were very important to aristocratic culture in medieval times, and Arthur's court was at the center of it. The thing is that there is a code of honour and chivalry before Arthur in Merlin, the knights of Camelot already exist, and they are often honourable. But Arthur's task will be to reset the idea of chivalry and honour on new grounds, in new ways and Lancelot in many ways exemplifies this ideal

There is a huge emphasis in Lancelot's character in serving with honour:

"It's not my freedom I seek. I only wish to serve with honour."-Lancelot

"He laid down his life for me. He served with honour."- Arthur

"He meant no harm I am sure of it... he only wished to serve."- Arthur

I'm not exactly sure how to define honour, its kind of an abstract concept but I do know what it means, its acting with integrity and respect and honesty. It's a concept central to the Chivalric code, that knights should behave with honour, so its inclusion here further cements the idea of Lancelot's character as representing the ideal of chivalric knighthood. Also the concept of servanthood comes up again, Merlin emphasises (through Merlin most of all) the honour in being a servant, you don't need to be great or noble or a great leader, the world needs people who are willing to serve and that is just as noble as leading.

Chivalry as a concept is inherently bound up in the concept of nobility. The etymology itself is from the French word for knight/horseman, of which only nobles could be. However, one of the points of Merlin through many of its characters is upsetting this class divide so prevalent in Arthurian stories, not just in also including the stories of those who aren't noble but in setting up a code of honour that applies to everybody. Lancelot epitomises this, he is the knight who most represents the ideal of chivalry to Arthur, he's also not a nobleman. Just like making Gwen and Merlin servants, making the most noble knight not a noble sets up this shift, highlighting the capability of everyone to the kind of goodness and nobility that Camelot's ideal will represent. Because fundamentally what's the point of an ideal if it only applies to some people, ideals should inspire everyone to be better, they should make everyone's lives better not just a small subset of people.

As Gwen says that in Arthur's knights "we need ordinary people like you and me."

Arthur and Uther

Importantly Arthur realises the injustice of laws in his father's kingdom and you see the contrast between him and Uther.

"The code bends for no man."

"Then the code is wrong."

Uther is stubborn, we know that, he's unwilling to admit the fault in his rules, in his ideas even when the evidence is right in front of him and that is a fundamental fault, you can see it in his treatment of those who use magic. Arthur by contrast is someone whose views haven't been set, partly because he is still young, but also because he is a better person than Uther in the ways that matter. He's not going to purposefully blind himself to the truth. For Uther he is also one with a worldview of absolutes, all magic users are bad, laws are laws there is no room for argument or nuance, and I'm sure Uther would see accepting argument or nuance as a weakness.

It is also important that in recognising that the code should bend, Arthur recognises the essential flaw in Uther's construction of society and chivalry. The idea that knights should all be noble, Uther literally says that it is the fact that all knights are noble that binds them together, and this is emphasised by the fact that Uther created the first code of Camelot (also the fact that its the first code- makes this seemingly small law much more important). This is a premise Arthur does not agree with it, this episode proves what it really means to be a knight in Lancelot, its a willingness to do your duty and act with honour and self-sacrifice. It is not confined to class, and thus plays into merlin's wider subversion of chivalry as only being for knights, its a code of honour and behaviour that all people can aspire to, and the ability to live and die for noble causes should not be the sole preserve of knights. The Arthurian ideal is so premised on nobility, for the rest of the kingdom, yes they have a just king and presumably they are protected and safe but they are kept from the dignity of being allowed to be noble, being allowed to be considered a part of the nobility and goodness of the Arthurian ideal. It's significant that the first figure to represent this isn't noble.

Other Stuff

"I owe Lancelot my life and I am paying for that in the only way I can."- Merlin--> This is the worldview of knights and debts of honour in its own way as well

Gwen and Lancelot are just awww, like so sweet

"Merlin would do anything for anyone."- Gwen--> True and I love that about Merlin, even as he becomes more jaded as the seasons go on this doesn't change that much—>he's wonderfully decent

"You're the only thing I care about in this world."- Gaius to Merlin--> That was just sweet and kind of sad He's encouraging Merlin to put himself in danger and Merlin reacts with anger because its like does anyone care what happens to him—> but the point is Merlin can help Arthur and no one else can so he has to do it because its his job and its his job because he's the only one who can do it--> Duty is doing what you have to do, doing the right thing even when you don't want to

"It's my duty knight or not."---> Similar to Merlin—> Lancelot believes in being a knight so whether or not he actually is one he has a duty to act like one—> he is a swordsman he is skilled and (theoretically- if they weren't creatures of magic) could defeat a Griffin so he has to do it—> because he can and its his duty to his worldview And Gwen's response- "You really believe that don't you. I don't think I've ever met anyone like you."

"You've already proven that to us"- Arthur "But I must prove it to myself."- Lancelot--> Isn't there just something very noble in that- In the desire to prove your ability to yourself above all others- to hold yourself to a high standard not just to expect things to come Will parallel Arthur in later seasons as he tries to prove his right to be king to himself--> It's funny the scene when Arthur pulls the sword in the stone (much later) is the moment when he proves his right to be king in every version of the story- but usually its proof to others- In Merlin it was trying to prove to himself

"Till next time then, Sir Lancelot."- Merlin- wonderful way to end the episode on an acknowledgement of Lancelot's role in the wider story- he is a legendary figure

[taiblogcomics]

I Can’t Pet Force You To Read This One, But...

Hey there, high school crushes. Well, it's finally here. Can you believe it? Yes, counting from the original Xanga site (which, yes, still counts. It's like our own Golden Age publication or apocryphia), this is our 10th anniversary of reviewing comics. That's fantastic. I'm excited, can't you tell? I can tell, since I'm writing this preamble a good two months before the actual anniverary~

So, last year we reviewed the absolute pile of dreck that is Heroes in Crisis. And while that was worth ripping into, I'd rather not spend the 10th anniversary hating on something. I'd like to do something actually meaningful to me. I've teased about this one for many years, probably for as long as I've been doing this blog, and I think it's time we stopped pussyfooting around and reviewed some Garfield. But not just any Garfield. It's finally time, my friends. This... is Garfield's Pet Force.

I dunno how many people will remember this one. Maybe you recall the direct-to-DVD movie adaptation from 2009, or at least advertising for it. I never saw it, but apparently it differs a bit. They also appeared a few times in those Garfield comics from back in the day. We even reviewed a couple (some were on the Xanga blog). But what we're looking at here are the original novellas published between 1997 and 1999. So yeah, these really are from my childhood. And since I've long espoused that Garfield was always funnier 20 years ago, this must be actual premium Garfield content, yeah? By golly, I hope so, because we got five whole books here today. So we should probably get into them~

Book 1: The Outrageous Origin

This is a classic sort of superhero cover. Standard team shot of poses, and that's fine for a first volume. In fact, that's great. Later editions of this would replace the lightning-filled gradient background with a pure white one, but I have this original version. We'll get to specifics about these characters in the meat of the story, but let's talk about the costumes for a bit. Very classic early-'90s sort of look, before the Dark Age kicked in. Reminds me a lot of Jim Lee's X-Men designs, actually. Making all your characters visually distinct is important in a team book. The heavy lean into secondary colours is unusual for heroic characters, but not unwelcome.

So we actually start with a cold open in the superhero universe. This is pretty much to introduce us to the characters as soon as possible, and thus I'll do the same for you here.

*Garzooka, team leader, super strong, has a razor-sharp claw, and can shoot radioactive hairballs from his mouth. That's... at least a unique power, I don't think anyone on the Justice League can do that~ *Odious, the dumb muscle with the accent on the "dumb". Possibly even stronger than Garzooka, and possessing a "super-stretchy stun tongue", an elastic tongue that can scramble the minds of whoever it adheres to. *Starlena, the team girl. She can fly, and she has a siren song that can put those who hear it into a hypnotic trance. Garzooka is the only one immune to its effects, for reasons that are never explained. *Abnermal, the kid-appeal character. He has ice powers, forcefields, and an ill-defined "pester power" that means he can annoy people on a greater scale than normal folks. It's pretty much only used for comic relief, but that could be a brilliant power in the right hands. *Compooky, the brains of the operation. Other than flight, his powers are limited to super intelligence, which means he's usually the exposition guy. There's probably a reason they left him out of the movie adaptation~

You got all that? Don't worry, we'll introduce you again later in the book. What actually happens in the intro chapter isn't really important, it's just setting up the universe. In fact, it's all taking place within Pet Force #99, a comic just enjoyed by Nermal. Yes, we quickly cut over to the main Garfield universe ("our universe", the narrator calls it), where Pet Force is just a comic book. The Garfield gang is all outside, enjoying a cookout prepared by Jon Arbuckle. Nermal is extremely enthused by his comic book, and brags about how he has all 98 previous issues sealed and polybagged, and this one will soon join them. Sorry, Nermal, this came out in 1997, the speculator boom already went bust~

Garfield dismisses comic books as stupid because you can't eat them or use them as a blanket, and declares that none of the stuff that happens in the comic could possibly happen in real life. Uh oh, irony! Because these things can happen, and do! It's a parallel universe, baby! This might be one of my earliest introductions to a "parallel worlds" concept. Much like Earths 1 and 2 in pre-Crisis DC, the events of the comic are essentially the real life adventures of their super-powered counterparts in another dimension. Most of the action in these stories will take place there~

So here's the setup: Vetvix (the parallel equivalent to Liz the veternarian) is an evil sorceress and scientist, who essentially wants to experiment on animals in peace, and possibly subjugate the universe while she's at it. You could argue that Liz is an odd choice for villain, since our universe's Liz isn't particularly evil. But then, our universe's Garfield isn't particularly heroic either. She operates out of a deadly space station called the Orbiting Clinic of Chaos, and at present she's waiting for the arrival of her henchman, Space Pie-Rat, who is a six-foot-tall anthropomorphic rat dressed in stereotypical pirate getup. Vetvix has just finished inventing a levitation ray, and she'd like Pie-Rat to go out and use it to steal all the food in the universe. Vetvix doesn't think small, is what I'm saying.

The counter to Vetvix is Emperor Jon, ruler of the planet Polyester. He's kind and benevolent, even if he's a little dippy and his fashion sense atrocious. Having gotten wind of Vetvix's latest plan, he contacts Pet Force in their ship, the Lightspeed Lasagna. Upon learning the problem, Pet Force gives chase to Pie-Rat. They eventually corner him on some desolate planet, landing and entering an abandoned factory. Unfortunately, they're not safe amongst the dangerous machinery, because this turns out to be a trap. Vetvix has been busy as hell, because she's also invented a metal that's impervious to their powers. And that's not all, because she's also basically invented the Phantom Zone, where she traps Pet Force forever. It specifically mentions it doesn’t kill them, because it wouldn't be kosher to murder the heroes in a Garfield book~

The Lightspeed Lasagna has both onboard cameras connected to the heroes' belts as well as automatic return protocols, so within two days, Emperor Jon knows exactly what's happened to Pet Force. He needs help, so he calls upon his most trusted and powerful advisor: Binky the Sorceror. Binky's just as loud and obnoxious as in the main universe, but he's also a powerful magician. He conjures up a spell for Emperor Jon that lets him pierce the veil between universes. It's basically Equestria Girls rules: parallel universes have similar characters between them. So to replace Pet Force, they need the nearest genetic equivalents from another universe. And that's the versions of Garfield, Odie, Arlene, Nermal, and Pooky that we know and love~

Back in the main universe, it's another day entirely. Another cookout is taking place, and Nermal has received his special anniversary issue of Pet Force #100. The cover's really special, dripping with '90s cover gimmicks like glow-in-the-dark and embossing. A rarely used one, though, was "portal to another universe". That was pretty expensive to print, so you won't find many comics like Nermal's. Maybe he had something there with the collecting after all. The cover glows, and while Jon is distracted by the grill, Garfield and Friends disappear~

They reappear in Emperor Jon's wood-paneled throne room, now transformed into Pet Force. Emperor Jon and Sorceror Binky try to explain the situation, but Garfield--now Garzooka--is disbelieving of the whole thing. In fact, even the idea that Jon can now hear him talk absolutely floors him. Since he's about to deliver the exposition for everyone, can we talk about Compooky for a minute? This spell has just granted sapience to Garfield's teddy bear. I don't expect deep philosophy from a children's novella, but the ramifications of this are really under-explored. Like, never mind the whole idea of a teddy bear having the same genetic makeup as an alternate universe equivalent. He goes from inanimate object to fully conscious being, and he just rolls with it.

Anyways, once everybody gets caught up on what's going on and accepts the new reality, a training montage ensues so the group can all learn to use their powers without killing each other. Once at least reasonably trained, the reborn Pet Force is sent out to stop Pie-Rat. He's gotten sloppy in the times with Pet Force dead, so they track him down easily. After a brief scuffle where Garzooka takes his eyepatch, Pie-Rat flees in his ship. They follow Pie-Rat back to the Orbital Clinic of Chaos, but they can't go in the front. That led the original Pet Force into a trap. Finding an unguarded maintenance hatch--standard on any big space station--they enter Vetvix's lair for a final confrontation!

After dealing with the Waiting Room of Doom, which slowly fills with outdated magazines, they enter Vetvix's inner sanctum. Frustrated with Pie-Rat's failure, she uses her magic to turn him into an ordinary mouse. Vetvix then attempts to use her same weapon on this new Pet Force, but thanks to story contrivance, it only works on beings born in this universe. As other dimensional visitors already, they can't be banished to another dimension. She then pulls a Dr. Claw and runs off cursing Pet Force's name while her base self-destructs. Vetvix is a very "discard and draw" sort of villain, it seems. Pet Force, of course, makes a harrowing escape just in the nick of time.

Returning to Emperor Jon, they vow to be ready to return whenever they're called on, since evil never stays dormant for long. Odious even gifts Emperor Jon with the mouse-ified Pie-Rat as proof of their victory. Well, I'm glad they remember that, so they didn't accidentally murder a major villain in their first superhero outing. They're returned to their own universe, and the time differential between them places them back with Jon having not had time to even look up from the grill. Garfield begins to doubt the adventure even happened--until that night, when he finds Pie-Rat's eyepatch still on his person. Ah, definitive proof of... eyepatches, I guess~

Book 2: Pie-Rat's Revenge!

You have to wonder where, in a space-faring superhero setting, Pie-Rat got the inspiration for his classic pirate motif. It's a little incongruous is all I'm saying. And hey, remember when I said earlier that Garzooka's purple-and-green colour scheme was odd for a hero? Well, here he is as a villain! That'll catch your eye. This would be a terrific comic cover, which is what you want in a series like this.

The book opens with a brief recap of the previous story's events, then moves into the new plot. See, Emperor Jon has opted to keep the polymorphed Pie-Rat as his pet. How very Ron Weasley of him. That's pretty apt, actually, because similarly Pie-Rat has maintained his intelligence in his new mousey form. Pie-Rat gets sick of being Emperor Jon's pet and plans a daring escape, exploiting the emperor's dimwitted and loving personality against him. Pie-Rat jams the lock with a food pellet and makes his escape that night.

Once free from his cage, he encounters Binky's cauldron, still left in the throne room from when the sorceror summoned Pet Force from Garfield's universe. Figuring he has nothing to lose, Pie-Rat jumps in the leftover brew. Suddenly he finds himself growing. He returns to his original anthropomorphic state--but with a twist. He's now twice his original height, a staggering twelve feet tall. He scoops up the rest of the remaining potion for later, and sneaks out of the palace as best as a 12-foot rat can sneak. Desiring revenge on both his former employer and his longtime foes, he steals Pet Force's ship and makes his escape from the planet, headed for Vetvix's newest base.

After his guards help Emperor Jon put the pieces of the problem together, they decide they must once again call upon the powers of Pet Force to recover their missing vehicle and stop the newly embiggened Pie-Rat. Fortunately, Garfield and friends have been watching movies all weekend, so Jon doesn't notice when his pets disappear from the living room in a bright flash. Of course, once returned to the alternate universe and the situation explained, they still have a problem: how do they give chase to Pie-Rat when he's got their ship?

And speaking of Pie-Rat in their ship, he's followed the trail of a mysterious energy output, and it's led him right to Vetvix's new base, the Menacing Moon of Mayhem. See, this is why you don't blow up your base: the backup base is never as good. if it was, it wouldn't be the backup. Given that it's such a shoddy base, Pie-Rat is easily able to get inside and get close to Vetvix. She's expecting a technological attack, so she's unprepared when he pulls out that vial of magic potion and sprinkles her with it. And naturally, the potion that made him grow 12 feet tall makes Vetvix shrink to 5 inches. It's magic, we don't have to explain it!

Pie-Rat takes the magic crystal that Vetvix uses to fuel her powers, which of course didn't shrink because magic is just bullshit. See previous paragraph's last sentence. And while Pie-Rat takes over the base and begins plotting a further revenge against Pet Force, we cut over to them. They're at Sorceror Binky's own castle, and it's clear he's a bit of a hoarder. This is to their advantage, though, as they eventually piece together a working spaceship out of old car parts and other things, all patched together between Compooky's know-how and Binky's magic. This seems like the sort of book where I could use that "it's magic" quote every other paragraph. But craft a new--if small--ship they do, and speed off in the newly christened Planetary Pizza.

The rickety little ship does eventually find its way to Pie-Rat's base, saving him the trouble of being proactive as a villain. The magic thing keeps happening, and Pie-Rat basically becomes Discord for a bit while he fights them, doing things like turning Starlena's siren song into actual living music notes. One by one, the members of Pet Force are taken out, with only Garzooka is left. He and Pie-Rat struggle, while Pie-Rat tries to aim the magic crystal at Garzooka. Garzooka uses his claw to rip the crystal from Pie-Rat and defeat him.

Unfortunately, here's where the cover comes in. It seems the moments Pie-Rat was focusing the crystal during the struggle affected Garzooka's mind. He puts the crystal around his own neck. which turns him evil. He helps Pie-Rat to his feet, and the pair escape in the Lightspeed Lasagna. While Pet Force pursues them in their ramshackle ship, the new criminal duo strikes the storage planet of Deli to steal their food. Pet Force manages to catch up as the villains celebrate their spoils, and use a magic blast from the systems Binky installed to short out the Lightspeed Lasagna. This enables them to dock with the ship and climb aboard for a contfrontation.

The group fights, and once again the bearer of a bullshit magic crystal subdues the heroes easily. Annoyed now, Garzooka takes hold of Starlena and prepares to kill her or something. She taps into the one thing she has left: she's not fighting just Garzooka, but Garfield in his body. She drops some heavy put-downs, which resonate with Garfield, and he hesitates long enough for her to cut the crystal off him. The crystal hits the floor and shatters, undoing its evil magics on Garzooka's mind as well as on all his teammates. With Pet Force reunited, Pie-Rat is easily subdued and locked up.

The group waits for the ship to power back up, then speed off to apologise to the planet Deli. Following that, they head back towards Vetvix's moonbase. That night, though, the magic that was making Pie-Rat 12 feet tall wears off, and he escapes from his cell. He steals the remaining shards of the crystal, climbs into the Planetary Pizza, and makes a getaway. As a bonus, he also repeats the power-down spell against the bigger ship, giving him ample time to escape. And he's not the only one. Over on the Menacing Moon of Mayhem, Vetvix also returns to her proper size, and abandons this base as well. And when Pet Force fails to find her, they simply return to their own universe, ready to be called on once again in the future~

Book 3: K-Niner: Dog of Doom!

Another very basic comic book-style cover. K-Niner is a much more typical villain in style. This one's actually a wrap-around, and features the rest of Pet Force reacting to K-Niner on the back cover. Which is good because, other than the first cover, the covers all have a heavy Garzooka focus. Which makes sense for a book series, I suppose, you wanna assure the kiddos that Garfield's gonna be in the book. But as a comic book series, this would be a bad look for a team book~

So after our standard introduction and recap, we start off with Vetvix in yet another new base, the Floating Fortress of Fear. I'm sure it's very intimidating, if she can keep hold of it for more than a single book. She's picking up from the epilogue and putting the last touches on K-Niner, mostly enhancing his intelligence. Now, you look at the cover and tell me what kind of voice you'd expect. Some sort of German or Austrian accent, like the doberman on Road Rovers? Does anyone remember Road Rovers~? Anyways, but no: he speaks with a posh British accent. You know, the "I say, good chaps, looks like we're in a bit of a sticky wicket, eh wot?" type. Trust me, you can tell. But just because he sounds refined doesn't mean he's not evil.

I also love that after the initial "trapped them in the Phantom Zone" bit, the villains just go whole ham. K-Niner here demonstrates that he is indeed evil by threatening to rip out Vetvix's throat. Let your villains be villainous is all I'm saying. She's pleased he's so vicious, but feels he needs to learn his place as well. She force-chokes him until he complies. She then gives him his assignment: she thinks dogs should be liberated. The Boy Mayor of Second Life would approve, and so does K-Niner. Turning pets on their masters is just his style.

K-Niner takes a portable evolution gun, and immediately sets off. He begins on the planet Kennel. Isn't it neat how every planet is named after an English word that describes its function? K-Niner quickly takes over the dog population and turns them against their masters, because boosting their intelligence also makes them evil, of course. They use enslavement collars on their former owners, and within a few days, the dogs now run the planet. We cut over to Emperor Jon on Polyester, where a man has crash-landed a ship. He's an escapee from Kennel, and he's here to report the events so we can get the plot moving and once more summon Pet Force!

And summoned once more they are, Garfield and Friends once more conveniently disappearing in a split second while Jon's back is turned (this time they're outside playing volleyball). And once back in the parallel universe, Emperor Jon fills them all in on K-Niner's dastardly doings. Garzooka, naturally, takes great offense to dogs being in charge, and takes his duties as a hero completely seriously for once. Pet Force takes off for a confrontation with K-Niner in the Lightspeed Lasagna. And speaking of Pet Force's ships...

The Planetary Pizza, piloted by Pie-Rat, plants its pads down on polar planet Glacia. Pie-Rat is here seeking a way to restore his magic crystal and regain his mighty magic powers. He's sought out the home of a legendary evil wizard, who's known by the name of... Barfo. I see why Barfo keeps his location a secret. But anyway, Barfo is the one who made the crystal, so naturally Pie-Rat reasons he can restore it as well. Suprisingly once on Glacia, Barfo's evil lair is pretty easy to find. His manservant, Hobart the Gnome, brings Pie-Rat before the wizard, and within moments the crystal is restored! Pie-Rat turns to thank Hobart, but Hobart suddenly turns into Vetvix!

Yes, Vetvix knew all along that Pie-Rat's quest would lead him here. And as she was once Barfo's student in the ways of evil magic, she knew she could get the old coot to go along with her plan. Barfo returns the crystal to Vetvix, restoring her powers. And so Pie-Rat, a recurring villain in three whole books, is unceremoniously done away with, as Vetvix teleports him inside an asteroid, trapping him in solid rock. Even if the asteroid were hollow or he displaced the interior when he teleported in, no doubt he'll suffocate within moments. That's pretty harsh.

With that over, we rejoin Pet Force as they approach Kennel. K-Niner's battle cruiser spots them incoming, and shoots the ship down, even in spite of Abnermal's forcefields. Pet Force bail out of the ship, and Abnermal uses his powers to make snow to cushion their fall. Upon landing, a contingent of mutant animals attack. The mooks aren't much, but K-Niner himself puts up an impressive fight. However, one of the mooks pulls a gun and points it at Compooky. This is why Compooky usually stays aboard the ship, but that wasn't an option. Rather than let their friend get hurt, Pet Force surrenders.

Pet Force is held prisoner separately from Compooky, with both the cell's technology making it freeze-proof and threats of "don't break out, or we'll shoot your compatriot". Their imprisonment is not long, though, as suddenly the power goes out. Pet Force takes advantage of the situation and make their escape, quickly running into Compooky. K-Niner didn't think the hyper-intelligent teddy bear needed a high security cell, and just locked him in the basement. It was easy for him to then break out and shut down the local power grid. This also has the side effect of turning off the control collars the humans were wearing. How convenient!

With control of the planet now tilted in their favour, Pet Force now has time to both fix their ship and reverse the polarity of the brain-boosting weapons, turning the dog population of Kennel back to their normal selves. Though the experience did change the pet owners of Kennel. Having experienced life in their pets' shoes (so to speak) for a bit, they've resolved to treat their canine companions a bit more equally. More being allowed on the furniture, less stupid tricks for treats. Still, Pet Force can't stay long, and they head off in pursuit of K-Niner's battle cruiser. This is why most superheroes don't have spaceships (Jedis don't count): if your enemy also has one, they can flee way more easily than on foot.

Not willing to let another place go to the dogs, as it were, Pet Force catches up with K-Niner. With his previous success, Vetvix has stepped up the timetable and sent him after Polyester right away. Emperor Jon is in danger! They enter the planet's atmosphere, and are attacked by fighter craft. They fend them off, but their weapons system is damaged in the fight, so they can't simply use the reverse brain-rays and solve it quickly. The team splits up instead: Garzooka and Abnermal will go after K-Niner, while the other three will find the planet's power source and knock out the collars, since that worked so well the last time.

The two heroes quickly make short work of K-Niner's guards, and then turn the battle to deal with the Dog of Doom himself. While the struggle goes on, the rest of Pet Force reach the planet's power grid. Using a clever tactic, Compooky overloads the power and causes and electrical storm that simultaneously undoes the brain-boosting effect and shorts out the enslavement collars. There's only a few pages left, after all, and we have to wrap this up.  K-Niner is reverted back into an ordinary dog, and the emperor is reverted to an ordinary non-enslaved person. The day is saved!

And now once again, Pet Force prepares to return to their own universe. However... when the spell clears, the five heroes are still standing there. Something is blocking the passage between dimensions, and Pet Force is trapped. And while Pet Force's adventures have taken place between mere moments in their own universe, they have always returned quickly enough that Jon didn't notice a thing. But this time, as Jon retrieves the volleyball and turns around to his pets, he's surprised to find they've all vanished into thin air...

Book 4: Menace of the Mutanator

This one's very striking because of its more painted look compared to the heavy black outlines the rest of the covers have. Does this one count as having the whole team on the cover? Because, spoilers, that's what the Mutanator is: the rest of Pet Force mashed up into a villain. Again, though, that's definitely a striking image that'd draw in readers to a comic cover. In fact, while Garzooka may be over-used as a cover focus, several of these also show him imperiled in some way, and that's nice for character stuff. That helps balace it a bit~

I wanna say, before we start, that I'm impressed by the continuity for the series as a whole. They could've just written each story as a standalone, but for a series of 100-page children's novellas starring Garfield characters as superheroes, things happen in these books. Like, maybe not sweeping status quo changes, but events affect the plot of each next book down the line. And that's where we pick up! Right where the last book left off, with Pet Force now stuck in the alternate universe, unable to return home to Jon. But if they can't go home to Jon, well, maybe then events will conspire to bring Jon to them~

Yep, because Jon happens to wander into the room where they keep the copy of Pet Force #100 that acts as a portal to their universe, he gets transported into the Pet Force universe. And since Emperor Jon is still an extant entity, there's just two Jons now. Jon, of course, is a bit freaked out, and it takes several pages to explain the whole deal to him, and also have a showcase of all their powers to pad out the book some more. Eventually, they decide to call in Sorceror Binky to examine the problem. When he has a go of it, a sudden tornado emerges from the cauldron and whisks away Pet Force--save for Garzooka, whose prodigious strength keeps him anchored.

Garzooka heads out in the Lightspeed Lasagna to track Pet Force's signature, glad to get away from a double trouble Jon. And while he's searching, the scene cuts to Vetvix's Floating Fortress of Fear. Hey, one of her bases actually lasted more than one book! This is where Pet Force has been transported to, once more in a power-proof cell. Vetvix monologues to the heroes, as she is wont to do, explaining that she's the one who cast the spell to keep them from returning home. And further, she's brought them here to mutate them into her servants.

While Emperor Jon exposits about his backstory (turns out he is not of royal blood, and has about as much legitimate claim to the throne as you or I do), the search continues. Sorceror Binky detects Pet Force, giving them all a view of what happens next. The trapped members of Pet Force are literally broken apart and reassembled: Odious' body, Compooky's brain inserted into the chest, Abnermal's hands, and Starlena's head. She christens this beast "Mutanator", and it is soullessly obedient. I also wanna say, Mutanator's kind of a non-binary icon, aren't they? (The comic uses "it", but it was 1998 and alternative pronouns weren't really a thing yet.) Muscular, masculine body, but confident enough to still wear lipstick. It's a look, is all I'm saying~

Mutanator continues to possess the combined powers of Pet Force as well. Vetvix sends them to attack the planet Armory to gear up before attempting to conquer Polyester. And meanwhile, thanks to the convenience of being able to scan all of Compooky's memories now that his brain is part of Mutanator, Vetvix has the perfect trap to spring on Garzooka--or should she say Garfield. Yes, she really knows the whole origin for Pet Force now, and now she knows all Garfield's weaknesses, likes and dislikes, and probably blood type and other dating profile stats~

Thus, when Garzooka receives the coordinates from Emperor Jon and arrives at the Floating Fortress, he finds himself menaced by giant spiders. Vetvix couldn't think of a way to get Mondays to attack him, so the Giant Spider Invasion will do. Spiders are apparently very formiddable foes, Garzooka's personal fears aside. They can swat gamma hairballs out of the air, they can construct webs as quickly as certain Marvel heroes, and their hairy exoskeletons are resistant to both claw and strength. But despite his fear and Abnermal's running commentary, Garzooka manages to trounce the spiders with a carefully applied flame--taking Vetvix's blueprints with them.

Garzooka heads out once again to track down the Mutanator, leaving his less-than-all-together friends in the safety of their forcefield prison. While he's off, we return to the perspective of his target. Using their combined powers, the Mutanator swiftly conquers the planet Armory and sets their sights on Polyester next. It's not a bad plan, honestly. With the stockpile from Armory, not only will the Mutanator be more powerful, Polyester won't be able to use the planet for backup. Fortunately for the two Jons, though, Garzooka intercepts the Mutanator before they can leave Armory.

The fight's actually pretty good. Very back and forth. But even despite Garzooka's great strength, the Mutanator wins in the end. Thankfully, Vetvix puts her conquest of Polyester on hold to take the time to retrieve Garzooka and add his power to the Mutanator. This, of course will be her undoing--in a completely ridiculous way, of course. For back in the palace, our universe's Jon is watching Pet Force's struggles with the scrying cauldron. And he leans in a bit too close. Sowhile Vetvix is prepping the machine to divide Garzooka's body like she did the rest of Pet Force, Jon suddenly tumbles through the dimensional warp caused by the cauldron and lands on Vetvix, which causes her to put the machine in reverse. A real Jonnus ex cauldrona there, eh?

The Mutanator disappears, their existance as a unique being wiped out as their pieces return to their proper Pet Force owners. With Pet Force reassembled, Garzooka takes out Vetvix with one of his gamma-radiated hairballs while she's distracted by Jon. Pet Force decides that the vile veternarian should have a taste of her own medicine, and stick her in the body-splicing machine with some of her guards. This divides them all up and mixes them into bizarre combinations. It also has the side effect of disabling Vetvix's magic, so they can return to their own universe now.

The book wraps up here. Pet Force first returns to Armory to both return the stolen weapons and also make repairs on the buildings that were damaged in Garzooka's fight with the Mutanator. That's the sort of thing I'd like to see in more superhero stories in general. The two Jons part ways, with the Emperor believing the other Jon's heroism to have been deliberate. And thus are Garfield and friends returned home. And just like the end of their first adventure, where Garfield couldn't be sure if it really happened, so too is Jon's memory fading. Had he really witnessed all that? Only his pets know for sure--and in this universe, they can't talk~

Book 5: Attack of the Lethal Lizards

This one's another wrap-around, showing the rest of Pet Force engaging the remaining Lethal Lizards on the back cover. This is one advantage books have over comics: a front and back cover you can use for your story-telling. The Lizard designs are pretty good for a villain group too. Like Pet Force, they don't adhere to a particular theme, but they do look good individually. Garzooka roasting a hot dog on a stick might be a bit too comedic for a superhero story, though. It sets the tone wrong. How "lethal" can they possibly be if Garzooka is out here roasting hot dogs in the middle of battle?

So here we go, last book. After the usual recap, we open with Jon explaining to Garfield and friends his latest plans: they're going to WackyWorld, a theme park dedicated to Jon's favourite cartoon, The Wackies. Both Garfield and Nermal think the show is lame, and if those two agree on something, you know it must be so. In less lame universes, however, trouble is once more a-brewing. So it turns out Vetvix's Floating Fortress of Fear has been orbiting the swamp planet Reptilius this whole time. And her various experiments in the last two books have been radiating the planet in magical energy...

From that magical power, three reptiles find themselves uplifted in intelligence and granted fantastic powers. Please say hello to our three main villains for this book: Snake, an enormous snake (the only one without an anthro design) with stretching powers; Chameleon, who can shapeshift; and Dragon, a komodo dragon with fire breath and the bad attitude to match. While Snake and Chameleon figure out their powers, Dragon declares himself the leader as he's clearly the smartest, strongest, and most powerful. They name themselves the Lethal Lizards and start plotting how to rule the planet.

After that exciting intro, though, the book kind of slows down. First we get a whole chapter of Emperor Jon also deciding to go on vacation, to planet Funlandia. With Vetvix out of commission for a while, there's no better time. In short, he's out of the castle and Sorceror Binky is in charge. This is followed by a chapter of Jon and his pets at WackyWorld. It's certainly an accommodating amusement park to allow pets on its grounds. Garfield at least gets along with the food, but if you know anything about amusement park food prices, the amount Garfield eats will make your wallet weep. Jon takes his mind off it by dragging the pets along to a ride. Surely they have to be under the height restriction~

Fortunately, we get back to the actual stars of this book, and we see a bit more of their dynamic. Snake is the sort who sucks up to whoever's calling themselves "Boss" at the moment. Dragon is power-hungry, and it's clear he'll sell out his allies at the drop of a hat. Chameleon is Starscream. Anyway, they trek through the jungles of Reptilius until they find a downed spaceship. Reviewing the logs reveals it was a scout ship from Vetvix, and they also learn of Vetvix and her mission. However, they don't know where Emperor Jon lives, so they crowd into the the newly christened Rapacious Reptile and set course for the stars.

The first planet they come across is a world called Klod. Quickly the Lethal Lizards beat up the populace and find the local government. Chameleon shapeshifts into a dignitary, pretending to be an advance entourage for Emperor Jon, schmoozing with the governor until he learns both what Jon looks like and the name of his planet. With this information secure, Chameleon nips out suddenly, and the trio sets forth towards Polyester. Governer Klutz calls up the palace as soon as the reptiles depart, and reports the incident to Sorceror Binky.

Binky wastes no time, and he dials up Pet Force. Since all five are in one place, he's able to pull them through even without them being near the gateway through issue #100's cover. Convenient! Pet Force, however, does waste time, as a lengthy comedy scene eats up several pages before we just get on with it. Eventually, the situation is conveyed, and they figure it's safer to keep Emperor Jon on Funlandia for the time being. Compooky stays behind to help plan some strategies, while the rest of Pet Force boards the Lightspeed Lasagna to intercept the Lethal Lizards before they even arrive.

Pet Force spends the next few minutes both scanning for incoming ships and bickering with each other, so I'm very glad when the Rapacious Reptile appears on their detectors before too long. Dragon threatens the ship, telling them to move or he'll knock them aside. It's a spaceship, dude, you can move in three dimensions. The ships trade shots, and while Chameleon's piloting is actually pretty good due to his independently-rotating eyeballs, eventually both ships crash land on whatever planet is nearby.

Both ships crash right next to each other, which is improbable but less ridiculous than some of the contrivances in these books, so I'm okay with it. Now you'd think what with the enemies being reptiles and Abnermal having freezing powers that this battle would be over really easily, but no. In fact, Garzooka and Dragon are pretty evenly matched. Snake turns out to be immune to Starlena's siren song because snakes don't have external ears. See, now there's a contrivance I find a bit weird. Snake swallows Abnermal whole, and Chameleon and Odious get literally tongue-tied. The Lethal Lizards actually live up to their name pretty well.

As the fight continues, half of both sides are laid out when Compooky comes rushing up, saying he has an urgent message from the emperor. And that's when he sucker-punches the team. It was actually Chameleon in disguise, having gotten knocked away when he and Odious separated. So yeah, round one goes to the Lizards, and they make their escape first. Pet Force regroups, and they give chase. The Lizards have enough head start to really lay siege to Polyester before Pet Force arrives, though. They even get access to the palace using Chameleon's shapeshifting, leading to Sorceror Binky letting slip the real location of the emperor just as Pet Force arrives.

Another fight ensues--see, now it's really a superhero story--and the Lizards leave again 2 and 0. This time Snake uses his venomous fangs to attack Starlena. This leads to the weirdest contrivance yet. Maybe not the worst, but definitely the weirdest. They have only minutes to save Starlena. So how do they do it? Well, they notice that Odious drools quite a lot. It's very "fluid output". So they have Binky magically reverse Odious' drooling, so that he has "fluid input" on his tongue instead. It becomes a big suction sponge and sucks the poison out of Starlena. They then restore the drooling, and he just harmlessly drools out the poison. What.

With their teammate saved, Pet Force pursues the Lethal Lizards to Funlandia. They get there just in time to rescue Emperor Jon from their clutches, with Garzooka and Odious combining their strength to literally rip a kiddie ride out of the ground. Starlena corners Chameleon in a hall of mirrors, turning his own trick against him. Snake is undone by Odious' strength. And Garzooka fights Dragon to a standstill, finally trapping all three on a roller coaster still operating. When the ride comes to an end, Abnermal freezes them all until the authorities can retrieve them.

Naturally, Emperor Jon thinks it's all part of the show (because Jon is dimwitted in any universe). The Lizards are sent to a lizard-proof prison (seriously, it specifies this), and Pet Force returns to their own universe. As usual, Jon didn't notice his pets go missing during the dark amusement park ride. The book concludes on an ominous note, however, as the ship carrying the Lethal Lizards makes its jump to lightspeed just as it passes the Floating Fortress of Fear. The shockwave knocks over some debris that reactivates the combining machine, restoring Vetvix to her full evil might once more!

The end!

No, really. Those five books are all there was. I hear it may have continued into the comics, but I don’t know how accurate that is. I didn’t really look into it.

But boy, what a ride, huh? Let’s dissect the books one at a time, since it only seems fair to take them as individual stories.

The Outrageous Origin: It’s a fairly basic origin story, I’d say. It kind of has to be. I guess my main gripe is that, like Rita Repulsa’s entire run on Power Rangers, the heroes never fight the main villain directly. In fact, there’s barely even an evil plot in this one. You have henchmen and some traps, and that’s about it for the menace.

Pie-Rat’s Revenge: A cautionary tale about why you treat your minions with respect. This one’s pretty good, but the events depicted on the cover make up such a small part of the book. Wouldn’t it have been more fun if Garzooka was turned at the beginning of the story? Book 4 would at least do the reverse of that, so it’s not a major complaint~

K-Niner, Dog of Doom: I think this one’s about as middle of the road as you can get. What a coincidence that it’s also the middle of the series! Like I said in the recap portion, it’s a shame that Pie-Rat’s story ended here. This one definitely feels more “villain of the week” than most.

Menace of the Mutanator: This one might be the best book in the series. Garzooka, alone, battling against the best parts of his team? That’s gripping stuff. I guess the main problem is that the Mutanator isn’t really a character in and of themselves. Like, K-Niner, he may have been a generic rent-a-villain type, but he had a personality. Mutanator is little more than an extention of Vetvix’s will.

Attack of the Lethal Lizards: I’m a bit split on this one. The bits with the titular Lizards are great. They steal the show! But the parts where it focuses on either Jon kind of drag, and Pet Force is a bit too jokey here. Like, I get the point is that they’ve relaxed into their roles now, and there’s not much point of doing it as a Garfield story if they don’t actually use the character personalities, but... I dunno. It’s good, but it could have been better~

And that’s it! Like, I dunno how to wrap this up. Pet Force was neither my first exposure to superheroes nor my first introduction to the Garfield brand (you can thank Saturday morning cartoons for both of those). But for some reason, maybe just the absurdly goofy premise, it always kinda stuck with me. And I think that’s a good enough reason to make it my 10th anniversary review, don’t you~?

[found--family]

not to rain on anyone's parade but I don't get why everybody is so happy to see Jensen working on The Boys, and therefor Kripke in regards to "getting away from Spn after it stabbed him in the back".. i thought Jensen called Kripke and that he talked him into "accepting the finale"? don't get me wrong I am super excited for Jensen to get more recognition and stuff but I can't help but think that^ maybe i'm missing/confusing something here?

i mean.. okay, I'm NO expert on the writers of SPN - i refer to my mutuals for the highs and lows and meta of it all, and i also haven't watched The Boys yet..

but Kripke created Supernatural. he's responsible for bringing Dean and Sam and the whole story to life, and for giving us the seasons 1-5 arc. when people fawn over *early spn* that's the era they're talking about: the writing, the character journeys, the cinematography, the visual meta, the vibe.

the thing about the different writers of SPN is - when you read the meta and look through the relative episodes - you can see who prefers focusing on what themes and characters, who is better at narrative cohesion and continuity, etc. BUT there's also TPTB (The Powers That Be) to consider, ie. The CW network folks who have the ability to make creative decisions/tweak what they don't think is on-brand for them, ie. the (conservative) audience they're trying to appease.

-- you should check out meta from @drsilverfish @mittensmorgul​ @postmodernmulticoloredcloak​ and so many others in the fandom (search "spn+meta" in tumblr and see what's what) for insight into the network/spn writer’s room because they know their stuff.

my point is: getting away from The CW and their narrative meddling is a HUGE step up for Jensen. as has been said, The CW (not Dabb, although there is debate on that too) sacrificed the ending of Supernatural on the alter of Walker, so it's understandable and also a positive thing that he's breaking free of a network that screwed over his 15 year-long commitment to them and the stellar journey of one Dean Winchester.

but YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT about Kripke trying to convince Jensen the SPN ending was good for Dean: we've seen the clips from cons + interviews of Jensen telling that story and IT HURTS. Kripke hadn't been directly involved in the show for years at that point, so was he just out-of-touch with the narrative and the fandom? or did he just want to try and get behind the ending of his baby, hype the show that did so much for his career, even if he didn't like it? or did he feel obliged to agree with whatever was pitched to him? 

(IMDB has him listed as 'executive consultant' through season 15 including the finale. I'm not sure how accurate that is or what it means exactly, but it's by no means Creative Control.)

it's obvious Jensen hated the SPN finale, but i don't think he'd squander his freedom in leaving The CW to go work with someone he doesn't trust to do justice to his new role and the narrative as a whole.

i hope some of this fandom's meta writers will enlighten us on these fronts though: Kripke's showrunning of The Boys, Amazon Prime as the distributer and what that means behind the scenes, as well as content freedoms and restrictions and what we can expect from Jensen's Soldier Boy performance! 

(btw: if anyone knows any meta writers in The Boys fandom please let us know) 

whatever the case may be with Kripke saying what he did to Jensen about the finale, we'll just have to wait and see what else comes to light about it, and what he does with Soldier Boy, and how Jensen responds to this new experience on social media, etc.

reports say we might not see season 3 of The Boys until 2022 (COVID being a factor) so we all have plenty of time to catch up on the first two seasons (and the comics too!) and delve into the meta surrounding it all.

i for one am extremely excited to see Jensen 1) in a dark superhero role 2) in whatever form-fitting costume they give him (i hear the fuckmepumps are involved!) 3) cussing his beautiful little heart out.

-- once i binge both seasons I'll probably post a bunch of wishlist items for season 3 and thoughts about the show, but for now I'm just excited and super happy for him being involved in such an awesome project. 

feel free to add your thoughts. 

[bakamoonshine]

A Surprise Encounter

(reposting in a different format!)

Summary: Trans male reader is experiencing gender dysphoria, and Draco comforts them. (D/N is deadname in this fic)

Word Count: 1.9k

Warnings: Dysphoria, potential transphobia, a little slut-shaming?, OOC, swearing, a little bit of fluff at the end

A/N: I tried my best for you @vampirthedarkone, but as I am not a trans man, I don’t have exactly the right perspective for this one! I hope I did it justice and you enjoy this fic, even if it’s not 100% accurate. I’m sorry if anything I included is explicitly wrong! Xx 

 Y/N’s POV

           “Psst, Y/n,” Draco pokes me in the side, trying to get my attention in the middle of Transfiguration class. I shake my head and look at him, realizing I had been daydreaming.

           “What?” I respond, eyes wide in concern that something had happened while I wasn’t paying attention. Draco shrugs at me.

           “I saw that you weren’t paying attention, and I know that you struggle in this subject. Just wanted to make sure you get all the notes down,” he smiles at me, nodding his head toward my blank parchment. “Also, if you need some help, I’d be more than happy. Meet at the library after dinner?” Draco looked at me earnestly, his icy grey eyes looking bright with anticipation. My mouth went dry suddenly, nervous. I had never anticipated Draco Malfoy showing any interest in being friends with me, but now here he was offering to tutor me in Transfiguration.

           “Did McGonagall put you up to this?” I ask, raising one of my eyebrows. Draco just smirks and lets out a small chuckle.

           “No. Let’s just say I think we have a common interest in one another,” he winks at me, picking up his quill and directing his attention back to the front of the room. I find myself nodding, agreeing to meet him at the library that evening even though he wasn’t looking at me anymore. Nobody knew this, but Draco always had me transfixed – his beautiful white-blonde locks, his storm grey eyes, and the rings that adorned his fingers were just little details that I couldn’t help but notice every time my eyes passed over him. I had assumed he would never be interested in me because well…I’m a guy. Draco Malfoy has never struck me as anything other than strictly heterosexual – but maybe I’m wrong. The insinuation behind his words led me to believe that maybe he did want more.

           I start to pack up my supplies, have daydreamed the rest of class instead of paying attention, and accidentally drop my quill while packing. I reach to pick up the feathered pen, but before I can get to it, my quill is smashed to pieces by someone’s foot coming down on it, hard. I look up to see Pansy Parkinson, my ex-roommate, smiling down at me, the smile stretching across her face so taught that I couldn’t help but wonder if she was okay.

           “What do you want, Daffodil?” I sigh up at her, not in the mood for her games. I had moved out of our dorm when I transitioned and found her unsupportive nature loathsome and trite. I’d had enough of her treatment to know that although she didn’t bother me much anymore, words can still hurt. She smoothed down her shirt and shot me a glare.

           “Oh, D/N. I just wanted to make sure you weren’t planning on trying anything with Draco. We’re practically dating at this point, and I don’t want any half-blood sluts messing that up for me.” She smiled at me again, a sickly smile that made me want to vomit.

           “Pansy, everybody knows that Malfoy despises you. Also, my name is Y/N, and I’d appreciate it if you called me that like everybody else. You know the rules, Dumbledore bound you to secrecy so you can’t out me before I’m ready.” ‘Not like it’s some huge secret anymore, but it should still be my decision when I choose to explicitly tell everybody’ I think to myself. I smack her shin, making her move her foot off of my broken quill, and pick it up. I grab the rest of my supplies, and get up, leaving Pansy alone in the Transfiguration classroom, steam practically rising off her cheeks they were so red with anger.

           As I walk toward the Slytherin common room, I start to feel the familiar feeling just under my skin, like an un-scratchable itch coursing through my body – dysphoria. Pansy doesn’t get on my nerves like she used to when I first moved dorms, but she still has a way of making me feel low. I push the feelings down, determined to make it through the rest of the day, and drop my bag in my dormitory before going down to the Great Hall for some supper. I make my way through the aisles towards my friends sitting at the Slytherin table. I sit down and huff, starting to tell them about my encounters with Draco and Pansy, noticing while I talk that Draco’s eyes never leave me. I finish talking, digging into my food, and eventually finishing my dinner completely. I stand up to leave, waving goodbye to my friends, and start to walk out of the Great Hall and back towards the Slytherin common room. I just made it out of the Great Hall when I hear footsteps swiftly behind me. I turn my head to see who it is, a little surprised when I find Draco following me out of the hall.

           “Do you mind if I walk with you Y/N?” he asks, eyebrows knit together in a look of questioning hope. I nod my head, turning silently and starting to walk again. The blonde boy next to me sighs in content, seeming happy that I said yes. “You know…we don’t have to study tonight if you don’t want to.” I stop again, looking at him with wide eyes.

           “Do you not want to?” I ask him, internally cringing and waiting for his answer to be no. My anxiety is rising by the second, and I can feel my cheeks heating up.

           “Of course, I want to, Y/N, I just didn’t know if maybe you wanted to do something less…school related? We could go down to the kitchens and find some kind of dessert, or we could-” I cut him off with a swift wave of my hand.

           “Draco, are you asking me on a date?” His grey eyes snap to mine, mischief in them.

           “Would you say yes if I was?” He takes a step towards me, and I suck in a breath.

           “Maybe” I say devilishly, smirk playing across my lips. “But you do realize I paid absolutely no attention in Transfiguration and have no hope of passing the exam next week, right? I could actually use the help.” Draco laughed, gesturing towards the ever-changing staircases we were stood beside.

           “Well then lead the way to the dorm, I need to grab my stuff to teach you everything you need to know.” Before I can even take half a step towards the dorm, Pansy emerges from the corridor we had just left.

           “Dray, you promised me we’d study together tonight. Why are you with D/N?” I felt myself cringe at the use of my deadname, praying that Draco didn’t notice. He scoffed, obviously irritated by her intrusion.

           “You came up with that plan, and I immediately said no. Don’t pretend like you heard otherwise. I’m hanging out with Y/N tonight, he really needs help with Transfiguration. Go bother Blaise or something,” he waved his hand in the other direction, hoping Pansy would get the idea and just leave. Unfortunately, that didn’t happen. Pansy looked at me with pure venom in her eyes. She continued to look directly at me while speaking to Draco.

“You realize that D/N is a girl right? If you’re looking to get with a guy, I’d look somewhere else.” My breath immediately stopped as I glare at Pansy.

“You bitch,” I throw the words her way before fast walking in the opposite direction, not staying to see Draco’s reaction. I didn’t realize I was crying as I almost sprint towards the dorms until I reach my hand up and feel moisture on my cheeks. ‘Damn it, I was so close to making it through the day.’ I think to myself, hurriedly making my way into the common room and up to my dorm. I sit down on my bed, pulling the curtains around me so if anybody comes in they won’t notice me crying. My heart rate picks up, my breathing ragged and uneven. It feels like my skin is on fire, and I feel myself descending into the endless depths of self-loathing. I hear the door open hastily and I stifle a sob, my breathing still extremely uneven. I wait for the door to open again, signaling someone leaving, but it doesn’t. My curtain is flung open, and there stands Draco Malfoy, the top button of his shirt undone and his tie loose around his neck. His hair, once neat and tidy, is now draped around his face, his cheeks flushed and breath coming in pants.

“Y/N…are you…okay?” he pants heavily, a look of intense concern on his face. I look up at Draco, taking in his entire being, from the hand pressed against his bedframe, to his foot tapping on the floor anxiously.

“Did you run here?” I ask, shocked enough to stop crying for a moment, though it didn’t last long.

“Well…yeah. I was worried about you. Pansy was being as ass and I had to make sure that you’re okay.”

“But…” Draco cuts me off, sitting down on the bed next to me.

“Y/N you think I didn’t know that you’re transgender? Pansy never leaves me alone and she mentioned you at least 20 times just today. You somehow really get under her skin. Anyway, why would I care? You are the most beautiful person I have ever laid eyes on. I don’t care what anybody else thinks, I want you all to myself. Pansy can go fuck herself if she thinks we were ever going to get together. My type is much more…you.” He pulls me in close, my breathing finally evening out, and places a soft kiss to the top of my head – he’s so tall, I fit right under his chin, at the perfect height to bury my head in his neck. I grab onto the sides of his robes, pulling him as close as he could possibly get to me, and his arms wrap around me, enveloping me in warmth. “So how about tonight we skip the library and go get some ice cream from the kitchens, and I will help you all day tomorrow with the Transfiguration homework? Does that sound okay, love?” I look up at him and nod my head, feeling incredibly grateful for the Slytherin prince. He nods his head back in my direction, places a kiss on my forehead, another kiss on the tip of my nose, and a soft kiss on my lips. He grabs my hand and leads me out of the dorm and toward the kitchens.

As Draco tickles the pear in the fruit painting, I look down at our hands intertwined. I can’t help but smile at the turn of events, knowing this wouldn’t have happened if I wasn’t so bad at Transfiguration, suddenly feeling extremely grateful that I had no idea how to turn a mouse into a teacup.

[msindrad]

an insanely long crazy-ass post about the dollars trilogy, I’m so sorry y’all

I FOUND THIS POST. I DID IT. I FOUND IT. JESUS. I spent the entirety of my yesterday searching for it.

I’m going to tag everybody who participated in this discussion and whose posts I‘ve found while searching for this discussion on the off-chance that they still might be interested in, yeah, discussing these films.

@clinteastwood-blog @geekboots-blog @istadris @sybilius @bleak-nomads @thenotsobad-thebad-andtheugly @bloncos @mcicioni-blog @unrealthings @stephantom @colonelmortimer

Also, please feel free to ignore me and my analytical outburst if you don’t feel like talking about the films or talking about them with my crazy hyperfixated ass specifically, lol. I didn’t mean to be rude by calling you out of nowhere, it’s just that sometimes people get excited when there is an enthusiastic newbie in the fandom and gladly return to their beloved canons.

Anyway. The dollars trilogy.

I’ll start with The Good, the Band and the Ugly (and will probably make myself instantly unlikable by nitpicking things, (sigh)).

As stupid as it might sound – the film being an absolute masterpiece, a cultural milestone that is timeless, epic, work of genius, love it, will write and draw about it with pleasure etc. – I’m kind of inclined to find the GBU the weakest film in the trilogy storywise. Don’t get me wrong: the plot is interesting and strong, every scene is entertaining, smart, and instantly quotable… But.

There are a few things that make the story, taken holistically, weak to a degree, especially in contrast to the other two films. Now, let me explain my bold-ass claim.

The first reason I couldn’t even pinpoint for myself until my best friend asked me: yeah, it’s all cool and fun, but what has really changed at the end of the film? They stopped the battle/blew up the bridge (kudos for the pacifist message), they killed a few folks on the way including Angel Eyes, but what did the story amount to in the end? Was their relationship changed? Have they themselves learned something about life, universe and everything? Tuco is still on the rope, Blondie still shoots the rope. They both got their money, split it 50/50. Sure, now it’s an insane amount of money but will it make them reconsider their ways of life? I don’t know, and I don’t necessarily think so. They’re really back to square one. If you consider the graphic novel The Man With No Name canon, then (spoiler) Blondie gives his money away to help rebuild the monastery of Tuco’s brother, and Tuco himself doesn’t really invest his share in anything other than booze, and sex, and troubles, so. Then, Angel Eyes got killed off, but he had even less backstory/character arc than, for instance, Captain Clinton, not to mention that his image, as memorable as it was, kind of lacked certain complexity, so, does it really matter storywise (although he is a great, stylish character, but I hope that you get what I mean)? (Note: Angel Eyes should have been the film’s ultimate personification of the war (inhumanely ruthless, only interested in money, extremely goal-oriented etc.), which, the war, kind of is the main antagonist of the film if you think about it; but the way he was used in the plot, the way he acted, and was generally presented, communicated it only in a limited way, imo).

Everything about the adventure was fun, smart, entertaining, one of the best films ever made, I agree 100%, and I rewatched it with pleasure many times. But I believe that stories have to bring about some palpable change in their world in order for them to be successful and finished. The GBU, in my opinion, doesn’t do it because it doesn’t want to be a story-story, and it’s fine with just letting its characters exist in a magic Western/a cowboy fantasy/a fairy tale. And I guess it’s also one of the reasons why the story didn’t go anywhere from the GBU – there is nothing to add to a basis like that. And I can’t help noting that it’s super ironic that the only film in the trilogy that truly seems to be all about money-money-money has no “dollars” in its title.

Another thing that I think is super important: there is almost no female energy or presence in the film. And it’s not even a matter of representation that bugs me, although I think it’s very important. It just feels like there is a deficit of something vital that renders everything even sort of unrealistic. In AFOD we have Marisol and we have Consuelo Baxter, and they’re relevant for the plot, and they have goals, motivations… lines. In FAFDM we have Mary, who has only a few brief moments, but she’s memorable, endearing, and she has a small story/motivation of her own, and we also have Mortimer’s sister, who is EXTREMELY important, and who also isn’t just symbolic, she herself makes a plot-relevant decision on screen, although a really horrible one from my personal moral standpoint. In the GBU we have what? A prostitute that’s beaten up by Angel Eyes (I never watch this scene), another woman at the hotel where Blondie stays in that is shut up and called an old hag or something like it, and another woman that makes a comment about Tuco’s hanging. None of them are memorable or have motivations on their own, and to me it makes the film lacking some really important counterpoint in terms of dynamics etc.

And nobody needs me to describe all the things that the film is awesome at because everybody knows that the film is one of the best films ever made, so painfully gorgeous that it’s difficult to praise it. So, I’ll move on to the other two films but will briefly talk about Tuco and Eli Wallach.

Eli Wallach is considered one of the best actors ever to appear on film for reason, so, I’ll just say about my personal impressions from his performance: he really made me emphasize with Tuco. His acting is incredibly rich, nuanced, concentrated, and, imo, just leaves you no choice but to think of Tuco as a real complex human being, not a film character. And Tuco is a superb character. Over the course of the story he gets to be loathsome, humane, funny, silly, terrifying, and cunning, - often all those at the same time. That’s one hell of a captivating character who’s just very, very interesting to watch and to analyze, regardless whether you like him or not.

Then, we have A Fistful of Dollars. I’m a huge fan of classic adventure stories that are gen, plot-driven, and have smart main characters figuring out a way to get what they want without being destroyed by other characters for wanting or trying to get it in the first place. I think it’s very difficult and very rewarding to write a good story in this genre. AFOD is exactly this kind of story, and this kind of stories is only as good as their protagonists’ maneuvers are. And Joe is, like, a tactical genius (the barrel! the fire!). And it’s much better to rewatch the film to remind yourself of how smart he is than have me talking about it, so.

But apart from that he is also humanized by his deeply personal motivations that appear completely irrational especially in contrast to his clever manipulations of the Baxters and the Rojos. And he doesn’t do it egotistically, to “get the girl,” which wouldn’t make him particularly sympathetic one way or another. Sure, he makes a good buck at the end, but his primary motivation still is justice for Marisol and her family (and then protection of his friend). Additionally, Joe gets his fair share of punishment for providing said justice, which further humanizes him and kind of makes you worry about him. And Silvanito with his scolding, humor, and skepticism helps with it a lot, too.

And then, there is the fact that the film wants the audience to either want to be Joe or want to be with him, sometimes both at the same time. Everybody on screen is a single Joe’s wink away from swooning because how he practically oozes charisma (only Silvanito is immune to his charms). I can’t blame them, though.

And I also want to point out the last lines of the film: Joe says that he doesn’t want to get involved into politics because that would be too much for him, and I think that it’s very fitting. The film just showed how cool he is, but he knows his limits, and he knows that he operates on a different plane.

So, all in all, it’s a masterfully done story.

Finally, we have For a Few Dollars more. I love all three films, but FAFDM is my favorite, there’s no doubt about that. I’ll start with the fact that it’s perfectly structured and perfectly balanced. We have three big players, Mortimer, Manco, and Indio, and the film shows how dangerous and how smart each of them is, so that the conflict between them ends up being very, very suspenseful. Not to mention the fact that it takes Manco and Mortimer almost 40 minutes, I think, to finally properly meet – by that time we are already speculating who will be the winner in the end, how will they react to each other, how will they interact, how will they work together etc. We get to know them quite well first, and then their relationship allows us to explore their characters even deeper through their interactions, their differences, and their similarities. For some time, storywise they become a single unit. While the story of Indio’s assault on Mortimer’s sister is revealed parallel to the plot.  

Indio himself is terrifying as hell without being cartoonish. He is a really dangerous, broken man that is also methodical, smart, and ruthless. He is so bad that he kills the opponent’s family just to make him bitter enough to draw on him. And he is so bad that he is okay with killing off his own gang.  

Speaking of which, Indio’s gang is colorful. He has interesting interactions with them at the beginning, in that church. And Klaus Kinski made his Wild stand out to me. I swear, the moment he almost cries in that saloon when Mortimer takes away his cigar, I feel bad for him every single time. And when he recognized Mortimer, it was tense. He even had a cool witty one-liner after Mortimer said that he should come to him in ten minutes to help him light that match and smoke: “In ten minutes, you’ll be smoking in hell!”

By the way, Indio’s tendency to get unnecessarily physical with his gang looks even more unnerving when he touches Manco to check his wound/shares a smoke him with some clearly visible eroticized subtext, which gets even creepier when you realize that he is a rapist. I swear, I was worried about Mortimer when I saw the film for the second time – that is even though I knew the plot – because Manco brought up that family resemblance between Mortimer and his sister, and we all know what Indio did to her.

What else? I could bring up all sorts of things, the action, the final duel, the small smart details that allow the plot to happen the way it happens (e.g. how Manco manages to hide the bag with all the money on that tree before Indio’s gang capture him and Mortimer – only to re-collect that bag at the end of the film), the humor, the street kids and all the other cool-cool secondary characters (Joseph Egger’s informer probably is my favorite), the opening sequence and the title card (oops, already rambled about this one) really, anything and everything including the perfect chemistry between Manco and Mortimer.

But I’ll just say that the music in this film is special to me. Every single composition by Ennio Morricone is special, unique, memorable, and intriguing, it’s true, and so it feels redundant and banal to say something like this. The Ecstasy of Gold is almost extraterrestrial, the main theme of Two Mules For Sister Sara imitates actual mule sounds, how genius is that, etc., and you must be dead to not be enticed and mesmerized beyond words by the main theme of the GBU, which is a hymn of all spaghetti Westerns now, a universal call for adventure (I feel like a bad person saying this, but I’ve always wanted to joke that Ennio put sexy back into the “waah-waah”… no, I regret nothing).

BUT. To me personally, the music in FAFDM is as personal as the film itself, and dare I say even more important to the story than in the GBU, despite the theme of the GBU being a kind of Greek choir throughout the film. The personalized sounds for Manco and Mortimer accentuate their personalities to the point where they almost create a reflex in you. The pocket watch chime is literally part of the story and plays a huge, crucial role in the plot! And it’s decidedly one of the saddest musical scores I’ve ever heard. It’s minimalist, mournful, and yet also nostalgically bittersweet. It feels like a reminder that there’s no going back whatever that might mean in the actuality. And the famous moment where Manco asks Mortimer whether his question was indiscreet and Mortimer says that the answer could be… I feel personally touched whenever I watch the scene. For me, it doesn’t feel like just an amazing scene, it triggers some deep emotion that is hard to express and almost gives me the urge to cry. Something along the lines of respectful and compassionate “I’m sorry that it happened to you,” “I’m sorry that I can’t help you.” The feeling of personal tragedy is conveyed infinitely better than a three-volume backstory ever could.

And then, there is this huge potential for all the stories about Manco, and Mortimer, and Blondie, and Tuco, and Angel Eyes, and even Joe to explore... Well, I better stop here.

So, yeah. It turned out to be a crazy long post, and I‘m grateful to anybody who reads it till the end. And if you haven’t watched these movies please do. Cheers.

[ziracona]

Hi! I just realised I havn't popped in in awhile. Do you have any headcanons u feel like sharing about the newer survivors?? (I love them all, they're so cool but I think imma have to say cheryl is my bby gurl. she's tired. let her rest.) also. i am. going insane. from a toothache :) - Sleepy

Hey! Hope your tooth pain clears up! I’m so sorry—that’s one of the worst. : /

Hmmm, I do, but I’m trying to think of ones I haven’t said in asks before. 😬 Unfortunately my memory of fictional characters is great, and my memory of what I said in asks is shitty. :’-]

I don’t know the newer survivors—except Nancy and Steve—as well as I do the older ones, because I’ve never written them, and I haven’t played Silent Hill. I like Zarina, Yui, and Cheryl a lot though. Poor fkn Cheryl can join Quentin in the “Please God, just one good day?” Existence. Rip to them both. 😭

Poor kid gets out of hell once, and ya throw her back in. :’-]

Let’s see—headcanon I am fairly sure I haven’t already shared. I think Yui and Min would get along really well, and Jane and Zarina would too.

Yui hates the serial killers especially, from her own personal experience, and goes to bat hard against them every time.

Ash flirts with everyone to a point it’s even more than Ace does, and for a while it becomes a competition between them to see who can flirt more and better than the other (not in a shitty way—everybody knows they have the competition going on and it’s more a ‘I can act better than you’ than a ‘I can win more hearts’ one.) Ace is declared the winner in class, Ash the winner in sheer quantity he’s able to churn out, and they agree to call it a semi-draw. It’s actually a really fun week for everyone, because they’re all constantly being complemented and flirted with in a way they know is performative and seeks 0 real actions from them in return, so essentially they are just showererd with ‘drunk girl in a bar bathroom’ levels of praise for seven days.

Felix and Nancy are the only two with significant others waiting back home, and they bond over talking about their wife/boyfriend and sharing stories and having someone around who understands that specific brand of pain and can encourage them that they’ll make it back home.

Tapp is a dad, so he gives Felix a lot of advice on stuff since he was an expecting father. Not so much “do this” advice, since his relationship with his family didn’t go so well, and he feels like he’s in absolutely no position to teach—more like “It’s okay. Women have been giving birth for thousands of years. She’s gonna make it just fine even if you’re not home yet, and you’ll get back to them. And I’m gonna teach you some of the tricks so you’ll be ready when you do. You can even surprise her by already knowing how to change a diaper and warm a formula bottle. I’ll show you how to do it,” and talking him through some of the stuff he would have been able to learn from infant care books. It’s sweet, but Tapp almost dies when Jane says its “Very heartwarming” and teases him, so they cut him some slack. Felix is really appreciative. Laurie has taken care of a ton of kids, and gives him some advice too, and so does Nancy, who had two younger siblings.

Steve is a disaster who suffers from “I like you and you are a girl, so *pigeon meme* Is this falling in love?” syndrome. Gets shot down hard by Laurie, who is ridiculously pissed at him for bringing it up during a trial when their lives are on the line, but after he gets over being super awkward around her, and she reaches out to be like, ‘Look, dumbass, why did you even like me?’ And he’s like ‘...because you’re, uh, really cool? A-and pretty? And...’ and eventually she’s like ‘Buddy, you don’t even really know me. You’re just lonely. You’re not in love with me, you just want to be, because you want to be in love with somebody, and that’s not gonna cut it, for me, or anyone. Be in love with a person—not with the concept of being in love. And for that to happen, you have to know them first.” And since Steve is good af self-improvement, he realizes she’s got a real point, and tries to find his worth outside of needing a girlfriend, and becomes both a lot happier, and one of Laurie’s closer friends. (Side note—this extends probably only to my initial Steve ideas. I had the idea batted around that in that universe, Stranger Things /is/ an existing show, but it’s based on a mix of urban legend and history from the 80s, and Nancy and Steve are the version from the actual 80s, and I think in that pitch Steve is dating Barb, who is still alive, and already worked through this specific issue, because many things happened differently for wild comedic ‘But in the show’ effect, becuase both them repeatedly going “WELL REALITY WAS A LITTLE DIFFERENT” when like, monster hunting shit from the show won’t work on the Demogorgan, and *Spit take* “THEY HAD ME HIT ON ROBIN?” “Ewwww” “YEAH ewww! She’s basically my lesbian little sister! We’ve been best friends since grade school! What the fuck :’-]” make for amazing joke potential. )

Cheryl starts having nightmares where she sees things from the Entity’s eyes she was never meant to see, and finding out dangerous amounts of information this way. The Entity decides at some point this is too big a threat, but because it’s proud, it doesn’t want to just kill her, as that would be admitting a human is a threat, so it starts having killers gun for her mercilessly to try to get her to give up, and the poor girl is in agony.

Zarina documents stuff form the realm constantly, and has a careful scrapbook collection of all notes and paraphernalia from past survivors. She also keeps conspiracy pages tacked together trying to figure out who they were becuase they deserve at least the justice of people somehow knowing how they died and what they went through. Laurie is a big help with this, and so is Claudette, who has been keeping stuff for a long time.

Yui is very no-nonsense, and protective. She gives off strong big sister vibes. She especially also loves board games/puzzles/other games like Shogi or Go and such, and Dwight and Adam create game pieces for her to play Go with when she mentions how much she used to like that kind of thing, and Yui is incredibly touched, and makes several other ones for people to play with too, and it becomes a very enjoyed pastime between trials. It’s engaging and competitive, but much more relaxed and low energy than sports or training or going for a run, so it’s a great alternative. Meg gets super into making puzzles, and all the artists do too, and take turns painting pictures on boards, cutting them into puzzle pieces with extreme painstakingly slow care, and then doing puzzles together. Jake is invaluable in the actual cutting pieces out area, but actually enjoys to do it.

Felix knows a lot more than anyone else about the Entity when he’s taken, so he spends a bunch of time with the research team trying to recall whatever he can from his childhood and sharing any information he has, then just stays on it because he wants to. He’s desperate to meet Benedict Baker someday himself, becuase that man seems to get around, and he really wants to know what happend to his father.

Everyone becomes protective as fuck of Cheryl when the Entity starts targeting her, and someone—I think Kate and or Meg—probably both together—as a one-off joke call themselves her knights at some point, becuase they’re running such dedicated protection detail, but it becomes a whole thing, and several more start to do it. They’ll like ‘fist clasped arm across chest at attention, quick bow’ when they see her, and it’s goofy as fuck, but it helps a lot making Cheryl’s reality more bearable. Plus, it’s really sweet. Nea gets in on this and comes back one day with a little daisy chain she made cause she was bored, sees Cheryl, it clicks, runs over and offers it as a ‘favor’. Zarina sees and comes back later that day from a trial and kneels and presents Cheryl with a rescued toolbox with a brand new part. This becomes increasingly common and extravagant, and Cheryl /cannot/ deal, but it’s like, genius, becuase it takes exactly this level of surreal goofy friend bullshit to distract from the hell she is living. She ends up just regularly having someone come back from a trial or trip to the woods, salute with an arm across their chest, bow, and present her with anything from a pinecone or pretty rock, to flowers or a medkit, to a salt statue or key, to a painting or hand made bracelet, to a makeshift weapon or a pillow. Everyone always tries to outdo each other, so the gifts tend to be extravagant. Zarina considers herself Cheryl’s righthand woman/personal knight by chocie, because she wanted a cause to fight for and has found one she truly loves, and she makes Cheryl her favorite gift so far, coming up to her at the end of a long day, after a very bad trial where Cheryl was mercilessly and slowly killed by the Pig, kneeling, and offering a thick shard of stained glass from the chapel, made sturdy and held in place with a few chunks of soldered and wrapped iron along the blade and down the grip, forming a razor sharp and reinforced stained glass knife.

[zwiezraczek]

Criminal - Chapter 10

Billy (viliain) x Female reader (cop)

Prologue/Chapter 1 - CHAPTER 2 - CHAPTER 3 - CHAPTER 4 - CHAPTER 5 - CHAPTER 6 -  CHAPTER 7 - CHAPTER 8 - CHAPTER 9 - CHAPTER 10:  And this type of love isn't rational - Epilogue

SUMMARY: You always wanted to become a police officer. And you became one of them, brilliantly and they offered you your first case. “The Ghosts” case. The case of fleeting people and one sneaky bastard parkouring around the town to annoy you. You swore to yourself to catch him them.

WORDS: 1.8k

NOTE: I planned to update this yesterday but... Well. I have no excuse haha ^^’ So, we’re almost at the end of this story! We’re only missing the epilogue, it was super nice writing this AU and we’re almost at the end wow...💕

TAGLIST: @onceuponadetectivedemigod​ @natsficrecs​​ @suckerfor-fanfics​(leave a comment to be a part of it!)

PERMANENT TAGLIST @suckerfor-fanfics​​ (leave a comment to be a part of it!)

HOUR 17 BEFORE HEIST TRAP

Billy left you behind against his will but as you asked him to. He found your plan risky, but worth the shot. However, he still couldn't believe that he had kissed you a few hours ago, touching your soft lips with his and seeing your pretty eyes so closely, your glistening eyes. For them, he was ready to betray his own people, and he did, and so did you for him. In the first place, he clearly thought that he would betray his people, letting you jail him in the name of his love but when you told him that both of you were playing on two different yet common grounds he felt relieved.

In fact, he couldn't be mad at you, as you couldn't be mad at him because you both tricked on another, in many ways. First by hiding your love then by protecting it with lies that would impact your lives forever. And now, new lies to the same people both of you lied to, lies that could lead to some horror, even worse than first intended. Because Billy knew that the Ghosts were planning on capturing you, and for a fact he knew that they would probably trick you into revealing information, and on the other side you had told him that the police would probably torture one of them if the would catch them. And you didn't want  Billy to get hurt, and he gently rubbed your cheek with his thumb before kissing your forehead when you said it.

He was sorry that he had to trick his own people into this, he deeply and truly was, but he has no choice even if he knew the risks. And if anything would fail, you were here to save him and agreed to flee as far as possible, together. And that was all he needed: to be with you.

~~~~

HOUR 9 BEFORE GHOST TRAP

You were absolutely shaken and stressed out. In a few hours, you would play your last card, with Billy. Well, you were playing your last card, but you also had an emergency cheat code. You were sitting at your desk, it was already ten in the morning and everybody was ready for the trap to be set, tonight, with your help. You couldn't help but sweat while you were listening to your colleagues and their plan again, Jake and Gina were there, by your side. Gina's face was focused, and you could read the absolute feeling of joy on her face because she knew the would win this fight and that you would finally get your case closed after a few years, or at least this would be the beginning of your excellent career in the police. On the other hand, Jake was sitting there, looking distantly at all of this, as if he was aware of what was going to happen, as if he smelt the rat. You, however, hoped he wouldn't.

You realized a few hours after leaving Billy that what you were about to do would put you in jail, and only one outcome out of three – at least three – would be positive for both of you. Which wasn't  good news at all, but you had to try it. The poor chances wouldn't stop you from trying to make the world a better place, absolutely not. Because you knew that what the Ghost lacked was a kin of political support, or at least the support of the police in order to do the things on their own. In fact, they needed to be qualified as a non-governmental organization in order to be able to continue their missions without being chased by the police. And from what Billy had said, Two told them that this kind of “shit” wouldn't happen until they will find somebody on their side willing to let down everything without having experienced wrong from the police itself, unlike her.  And you seemed to be the light of hope they had. Well, the only Billy saw from the very beginning.

A light that shone bright until Gina saw through you. Probably thinking that you were scammed by Four, and, from her point of view, you couldn't blame her for this. After the meeting, she grabbed your hand and took you to a safer, quieter place, and at this point you seemed to be accustomed to be dragged into some places. However, your heart began to race, thinking about the possible outcomes of this confrontation.

“Y/n, you should step back from the case,” she said looking right into your eyes with a cold look and you felt sweat drops on your forehead.

“Gina, what's happening?” You asked her, a bit confused, but mostly scared.

“Jake saw you... With the guy, Four, and we're thinking that you're trying to sabotage the whole operation.” Fucking shit, you thought.

“Sabotage my own case? The one I've been working on for several years? You're joking, right?” You tried to be convincing and to sound as offended as you could, but she seemed to know better.

“You're staying here, y/n, I asked for you to stay here and to be the head of the mission from your office. They thought that this idea is great, so you're staying here from now. You're not going with us,” she said to you and you could feel your whole world falling apart from this exact second.

“You did what Gina? How could you do this to me,” you asked her, absolutely not knowing how to react.

“So what you were doing with this guy yesterday y/n, tell me and I'll let you go with us.”

“... I had to make sure that they were doing things according to their plan,” you half-lied but she didn't stutter.

“And the kissing was to make sure that they would do this for sure, right?” Jake's voice asked right behind you.

You were fucked.

~~~~

HOUR 5 BEFORE HEIST TRAP

You were supposed to meet him here, at this exact moment. He was waiting for about thirty minutes, and that began to feel suspicious. Even more suspicious when a man in a black trench coat followed him during the last twenty minutes. And, when he began to run away, the man followed him and that was the moment he knew everything was going the wrong way. And it became a hellish situation when a bunch of people caught him in the middle of the street. He was fucked up.

~~~~

HOUR 3 BEFORE GHOST TRAP

You knew that what was about to happen was bad, was extremely bad for both sides. And you hoped that Billy would be safe, because you couldn't inform him about what had happened and how you had to stay there now, supervising all of this far from them. They went out, already preparing the troops and heading towards the place where the final confrontation had to happen. You were sitting at your desk, with somebody looking after you right outside the small office they gave you for the occasion. Shit, shit, shit. You heard everything they said, you were on line, you also lied to them, but they didn't trust you enough to let you go with them and to let you loose. So you had to stay in your office. By yourself, hoping that they wouldn't harm each other too much, that your men wouldn't kill them.

“M'aam, we've got one of them,” a man said after opening the door and your heart missed a beat. “The one called Four apparently, what are we doing with him?”

You knew exactly what to do. Billy, just hold on. “Perfect. Bring me to him, I need to interrogate him right now. It's vital for the case, but leave me a minute I need to contact one of the guys who went out on the mission.”

You still didn't know how you managed to enter the room and to make sure that nobody would watch you interrogate him, as he was handcuffed in front of you. The worst outcome possible. You sat in front of him, as he looked straight at the table, not looking up – you wouldn't look up neither if you were sitting at his place. You felt a great pain in your chest, your heart burning because you knew what all of this meant. You sat in front of him, making sure that nobody was in the room next to the room, the red light wasn't on, you asked for them to be on watch of the mission that was going on outside, and nobody actually knew about had happened earlier and technically you only had to stay at the station. And you were about to break that rule.

“Billy,” you whispered and he slowly looked up at you. He looked exhausted for reasons you didn't want to hear, not right now at least because you knew it would make you angry and probably ruin everything. “We need to get out of here as quick as possible, they left me here so I wouldn't be able to meet you, somebody followed me when I met you this morning...”

“You're sure we can make it,” he hesitated with a weakened voice that threw a dagger into your heart.

“Together Billy and because we love each other, nothing is impossible. Plus, I'm sure the Ghosts know as much as the police does, and probably even more by now.”

“By now,” he repeated.

“I may have contacted One, and they're setting another trap on the mission,” you said with a smirk. “Nothing will go wrong now, just hold on Billy, we're almost there,” you continued as you put your hand over his handcuffed ones. “Now, let's get out of here.”

HOUR 0 BEFORE GHOST TRAP

You were driving for the past two hours towards the place that One indicated you during your brief exchange, with Billy by your side. From time to time, you looked at him, with a little smile. This criminal had made your past few years a living hell, but now he was outdoing himself. You were about to lose everything, your job, your family, everything. For justice sake and love's.

“Y/n, you're sure you're not regretting this,” Billy asked you as you seemed to approach the place One had told you to meet up at with all the files you had – the ones you took from your apartment, along with your cat purring on Billy's tights.

“You mean that if I could build a time machine and choose another case to work on?” He nodded. “I'm not regretting anything. I'll finally be on the good side, helping you getting out of troubles with everything I know and believe me, the world's burning but they're going to remember us.”

You smiled and looked at him briefly, as he put his hand on your tight and your cat meowed. He scratched your cat's head and you knew. You knew that what you were doing was the right choice.

[cablerifle87]

Mediation In Ireland

Arbitration As Well As Mediation Solutions

Content

Family Mediation In Leeds.

Chelmsford Quakers, Quaker Meeting Residence

Nine Steps To Take Advantage Of Mediation At The Workplace.

Phone around to find the best rate, but remember the cheapest may not be the very best. You don't require to go to mediation to help you end your partnership. There are someexceptions when you don't have to go to the MIAM prior to litigating- for instance, if you have actually endured domestic misuse. If you go to a lawyer first, they'll most likely speak with you regarding whether utilizing mediation initially could help. We make use of cookies to enhance your experience of our website.You can figure out more or opt-out from some cookies. Our workplace mediation solutions solve complicated as well as difficult conflicts quickly, successfully and with as little disturbance as possible.

By following this method, we can make sure that things get off to the perfect begin, that everyone comprehends the process, and that every person is collaborating towards that objective that we're all searching for. As long as individuals are interacting well, assisting each other out, and drawing in the same direction, then the job obtains done and also everybody wins. Stay in touch with the current mediation as well as ADR news as well as assuming using social media sites, plus our regular article as well as podcasts.

Family Members Mediation In Leeds.

Jan is the Chair of The University of Mediators as well as in 2018 won Family members Conciliator of the Year at the National Mediation Honors. Legal Help is often readily available to those who get on a low earnings or on certain advantages, such as Universal Credit report. To see if you qualify, complete our cost-free online Lawful Help analysis type. If you make an effective Legal Help application, there will certainly be on the house for your MIAM and also mediation sessions. In addition to this, it will certainly also pay for the MIAM and initial mediation session with your ex-partner.

Simply intended to thank you for browsing me as well as 'A' through some actually difficult problems. Your involvement has actually brought us all to a location we couldn't have gotten to without your assistance.

Chelmsford Quakers, Quaker Conference House

Out of these, the cookies that are classified as required are saved on your web browser as they are essential for the working of standard functionalities of the website. However opting out of some of these cookies may affect your surfing experience. The board participants bring a wide range of experience to the company, with supervisors' backgrounds varying from organization to community service. She was previously the Director of the Household Mediators Association and a Member of the Ministry of Justice Family Mediation Guiding Team.

It's a great suggestion to talk to a solicitor prior to picking settlement - they can tell you if it's appropriate for you, as well as might be able to recommend a good neighborhood family mediator. A simple settlement case might cost ₤ 1,000, but you could end up paying a lot more - the precise quantity depends where you live and the length of time it requires to reach an arrangement.

Household adjudication is one more alternative if you want to avoid of court. You ought to ask your lawyer to give you a written estimate of just how much your lawful costs will certainly be. If you're not yet prepared to obtain a divorce or finish your civil partnership, they can record your setups as a 'splitting up contract' rather.

MV Mediation program takes on evictions - Martha's Vineyard Times

MV Mediation program takes on evictions.

Posted: Wed, 30 Dec 2020 08:00:00 GMT [source]

You'll each need to pay your lawyers' fees, which can be costly. How much you'll pay at the end relies on how much time it considers you as well as your ex-partner to get to a contract. This is a created or on-line record of how you and your ex-partner intend to take care of your children.Find out even more about making a parenting plan on the Children as well as Family Court Advisory and also Assistance Solution website. Courts generally will not determine who a kid lives or hangs around with if they assume the parents can arrange points out themselves. Your conciliator will certainly write a 'memorandum of understanding' - this is a document that reveals what you have actually concurred. Think of what you intend to leave mediation prior to you begin. https://workplacemediations.co.uk/conflict-resolution/reading/ is more likely to succeed if you can spend the sessions concentrating on things you really disagree on.

I just wished to leave a message to state a Thank you to the woman on the front desk, I rated with a lovely smile and also a pleasant, kind expert service. We have our own devoted mediation properties in a silent yet central area, with 3 mediation spaces, different waiting locations, a function area with added seating and also a back workplace. If you would certainly prefer us not to share this comments details with the moderator concerned, please tick this box. Tiny Claims Court Genie is a trading style of SV Legal Training Ltd|Our site only relates to the courts in England & Wales|Copyright 2020. If you want to give on your own the best chance of being successful, download our supreme overview. It takes you with the procedure detailed and in plain English. There is absolutely nothing to quit the events attempting again to reach terms of settlement between the two of them prior to test.

The moderator is a court staff member that is learnt mediation skills.

There is mediation readily available for insurance claims outside the small cases track such as fast-track and also multi-track track insurance claims.

There are a large number of moderators around, both independent as well as mediation bodies.

This indicates that your divorce, or separation, will certainly be a lot much less burdensome in regards to financial repercussions for your kids.

You will discover that with mediation there is a great deal more money which is left over for the essentials of life.

Meetings are exclusive and at the arbitrator's office or a neutral venue. We'll call you to discuss your client's needs as well as figure out whether an online MIAM is best for them. Then, you can either schedule a meeting on your client's part or we'll contact them and keep you in the loophole.

Our lawyers compose your contract into a separation arrangement which you sign as well as witness. We can resolve your financial, residential property or parenting concerns agreeably, price effectively and also rather. Mediation is when a neutral person - learnt managing tough conversations between 2 opposing sides - acts like an umpire in a conflict. We can't reply, so if you require assist with an issue learn exactly how you can get advice from us. You can likewise find a household mediator online on the Institute of Family members Regulation Arbitrators internet site.

Jess works in our head office as well as is in charge of our legal bundles and also customer relationships. Belinda runs our head workplace as well as guarantees you receive an expert and also thoughtful solution. Advise an independent barrister to tell you what would be a most likely result at court on your case.

Our team of professional and skilled workplace moderators deal with all parties in a conflict to establish their underlying needs as well as passions, encourage discussion as well as eventually, help with a mutually appropriate resolution. When workplacemediations.co.uk business mediation services bournemouth: full feature set introducing a mediation programme, there are three ways a work attorney's duty is most likely to be valuable.The first is that no person is much better placed to encourage making use of mediation. Any kind of practitioner that has experience of basic complaint and corrective procedures will certainly recognize just how binary the outcomes tend to be and the method which events often tend to come to be adversarial. If you can find more information on workplace mediations's mediation services here. was not nearly enough, when litigation occurs, they observe carefully the stress and anxiety produced and also are totally involved in drawing away supervisors from their key duties to prepare for hearings.

Can you bring evidence to mediation?

Although mediation is confidential, if you show evidence to the other party, there is nothing to stop them using this evidence if your matter later goes to court and they can find the evidence in another way.

Nonetheless, if terms can not be reached, a Judge will certainly make a decision the issue at test. It is likely nonetheless, that to get to a negotiation, both events will certainly require to endanger as well as make concessions. The moderator will focus on striking an offer, rather than entering into the detail or trying to determine who is appropriate or wrong. As opposed to apportioning blame, he will certainly aim to restore the connection if ideal. We after that examine back in with the celebrations after 6 weeks to see just how things are going and to guarantee that whatever is running smoothly. Every circumstance is various though, as well as among the primary reasons we are so effective is that we are flexible in our method to mediation. However, normally speaking, this bypassing structure works extremely well.

[mcnypieces]

THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE; Mun & Muse - Meme

fill out & repost ♥  This meme definitely favors canons more, but I hope OC’s still can make it somehow work with their own lore, and lil’ fandom of friends & mutuals. Multi-Muses pick the muse you are the most invested in atm.

My muse is: canon / oc / au / canon-divergent / fandomless /

Is your character popular in the fandom? YES / NO / IDK

Is your character considered hot™ in the fandom? YES / NO / IDK ( They’re missing out )

Is your character considered strong in the fandom? YES / NO / IDK ( It’s subjective )

Are they underrated? YES / NO

Were they relevant for the main story? YES / NO

Were they relevant for the main character? YES / NO / THEY’RE THE PROTAG.

Are they widely known in their world? YES / NO? ( This is... also subjective. )

How’s their reputation? GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL

How strictly do you follow canon?

     As closely as possible, considering there’s not very much to work with in regards to his canon to begin with. There’s a lot of freedom in picking up any kind of minor canon character. I look mainly to expand on what little is present. I adore fleshing out even the smallest ideas so having something I can comfortably build on is great.

SELL YOUR MUSE! Aka try to list everything, which makes your muse interesting in your opinion to make them spicy for your mutuals.

     Pica is loyal, beyond anything. Strong, well-built, and never wavering. Regardless of the situation, he is always on task, diligent to the last moment and perhaps longer. Devotion and collected functionality make a grand guardian. Always acts as a pillar; a collected foundation of a man centered around dedicated familial values. Being in contact with stone makes him nigh invincible, granting him not only the protective assimilation but the literal stature and appearance of a stone goliath given enough material. Strategic with respectable swordsmanship, constantly protective of what’s important. He’s nice on the eyes, quiet, and a good listener. There’s order and beauty laced within all that cataclysmic chaos just waiting to be found. 

Now the OPPOSITE, list everything why your muse could not be so interesting (even if you may not agree, what does the fandom perhaps think?).

     Distant, stoic, absolutely terrible with expression that isn’t hateful and violent. Pica is very strict, lacking a sense of humor. His voice is extremely disruptive. The smallest remarks set his short fuse alight and it burns on and on until there’s nothing left. That murderous intent settles for very few things, and getting him to open up is a long, grueling process. He’s self-conscious but in an overbearingly cocky way, in that pride often masks everything genuine. He thinks very highly of himself and looks down on other people constantly. He’s uncooperative, constantly wrapped up in solemn business, and heavily against indirect methods. Abrasiveness is a weapon and he uses it without remorse. Stubbornness and general unwillingness to speak with strangers make attempting to converse with him the equivalent of talking to a wall. Pica is impatience, wrath, and apathy tied together with coarse cobblestone.

What inspired you to rp your muse?

     As odd as it sounds, I found certain parts of Pica relatable in very specific, personal ways. People never took me seriously when I was upset because I was so small ( sometimes they still don’t dskdsks- ). For awhile when I was younger my voice was really deep and hoarse due to adenoid issues. Speaking in general was hard, because breathing was hard. It made me sound very masculine, especially over any kind of voice-only system. Normally adenoids aren’t an issue at that point because they’re vestigial and tend to essentially be shrunk down to nothing. But something ( probably fighting off infections and never shrinking/bad allergies, nobody knows ) blew mine up and they were blocking 3/4ths of my airway for ages without anyone having any idea what was going on until it got bad enough to the point it was obvious something was wrong. I couldn’t have any stuffed animals in my room because it was legitimately dangerous and a lot of my non hypoallergenic stuff had plastic covers on it. Made me really sad. Eventually they were surgically removed, and it cleared up my breathing and in time my voice was relatively normal. Before then, nothing felt worse to me then than struggling to breathe trying to defend myself in tandem with all the emotional stress it brought on me. 

     I was always quiet and distant otherwise, and a lot of people thought I was just weird and unapproachable ( unless you wanted a laugh, anyway ). There were days before I made my small group of good friends I’d just spend sitting under the stairwell up against a wall eating lunch by myself. I’m probably one of the few people that listened to Pica talk for the first time and didn’t immediately burst into laughter. I didn’t completely click with him at that point, but watching that one little thing turn into a running gag constantly coming back to undermine everything else that was amazing about him really set my feelings in stone... pun completely intended. I’ve loved him ever since. That inspiration and adoration has only grown with time.

What keeps your inspiration going?

     Quite a few things. Aside from the constant love pouring from my being, I love looking at highly detailed stonework. It’s beautiful. Scrolling through rolling mountain landscapes, listening to certain songs, daydreaming in between sentences. I never really lose inspiration for Pica. Something new hits me every day in the most mundane tasks. A lot of it does go unshared, but some of it is personal and other times I simply don’t have the energy or reason. Very well I could be brimming with inspiration for him all day and have nowhere really to put it without excess. Getting opportunities to do so really makes me smile, though. It’s amazing how much being invested in a character will keep your inspiration at an all time high even when you’re having a rough time. Sometimes all it takes is just an extra comment from someone else or an occurrence or some kind of image to put you right back on track. For me, seeing any kind of lovely stonework or abandoned, run down places really sets my inspiration for him in motion.

Some more personal questions for the mun.

Give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters, which could lead them to get more comfortable with you or perhaps not.

Do you think you give your character justice? YES / NO ( I would hope so! )

Do you frequently write headcanons? YES / NO ( I’m always thinking of new ones! )

Do you sometimes write drabbles? YES / NO ( It’s been awhile, though... )

Do you think a lot about your muse during the day? YES!! / NO

Are you confident in your portrayal? YES / NO 

Are you confident in your writing? YES / NO ( Generally speaking, I try to be! )

Are you a sensitive person? YES / NO

Do you accept criticism well about your portrayal?

     Actual criticism, yes. I don’t mind it. At the same time, however, I’m really just here to have a good time ─ as is everybody else. Growing and developing my writing is always a bonus when I’ve the experience here in an environment I’m comfortable with, but critique isn’t exactly something I go hunting for. I’m here to write the characters I love and adore and honestly, sometimes, it’s better to have the freedom to do things as you wish without the worry of receiving it, no matter how well-intended it may be. It’s all chill times and good vibes doing what we enjoy most.

Do you like questions, which help you explore your character?

     Absolutely! I love randomly being sent things that keep me thinking with any character. I’m always looking for little intricacies and tidbits to really bring them to life. Sometimes it takes a bit for me to think of something appropriate but I always appreciate the brain candy when it comes to new details! It goes without saying that I’ll happily accept anything that gives reason to my constant, aimless musings related to Pica.

If someone disagrees to a headcanon of yours, do you want to know why?

     Yes and no? I always love hearing other ideas on why someone else’s headcanons differ from my own. For all I know it might be enough to change my mind or, at the very least, give me a different perspective on something I’ve never thought about before. I’m always curious about stuff when it relates to a character I love. As long as they’re not rude about it and we’ve talked to the point it’s not out of the blue, it’s okay. On the other hand, it doesn’t really matter if someone disagrees. We all have our own headcanons and it’s very easy to be respectful about them. Despite what has already been said, there’s a high chance I’m going to keep to my own headcanons as they are regardless, because I put a lot of thought and heart into them. Someone disagreeing with them at face value isn’t going to make me up and throw all that work in the trash just like that.

If someone disagrees with your portrayal, how would you take it?

     That’s okay. There are plenty of different ways to interpret a character. People are allowed to like and dislike whatever portrayal they so choose, so long as they’re not bashing anyone outright. I would much prefer that be something that’s kept to oneself, however. It’s very easy to simply ignore something you don’t agree with, and it’s just as easy to be kind about things when expressing your own thoughts in comparison with theirs. Plus, there’s always making your own blog and writing whoever however you please! Someone out there is bound to enjoy whatever portrayal you prefer. ♥

If someone really hates your character, how do you take it?

     Not personal, certainly, unless it was somehow directed at me personally. It’s very understandable. There’s a lot of potential present for actual progressing development, but on the surface Pica is very dislike-able. It’s very clear his purpose was to act as a stepping stone for another major character’s development and there wasn’t much left beyond that. Of course it’s always a sad thing being hopelessly attached to a character like that but as an avid lover of what are often viewed as very minor, niche characters, it’s something I’m very much used to. Perhaps not intense hate in every case, per se, but underappreciated. It just so happens that Pica is... not exactly a good person, putting it kindly. But that’s just another reason I love him so much as a character.

Are you okay with people pointing out your grammatical errors?

     Sure! Though chances are I’ve probably already noticed at that point and have been embarrassed about it/fixed it. I’ve probably made many over the years and also not realized it. Most of the time it’s something minor anyway, and a lot of people just naturally read it as it’s supposed to be read. So there’s no trouble!

Do you think you are easy going as a mun?

     I’d certainly like to think so! I tend to be very patient and accommodating. I wholeheartedly stand beside the idea that RPing is meant to be fun and enjoyable and not something that causes more stress. People should take their time with things and set their own pace. Being comfortable is part of what makes RP the wonderful hobby that it is. Really that applies to any hobby, but there are many little things that can turn someone away from doing something they love at any given time. There’s nothing that would hurt me more than unintentionally making something someone enjoys a chore for them. I try my best to make sure everyone knows that I’m really just a chill little bun having a good time doting on characters I love. Pica might not be cordial, but I certainly try to be!

That’s about it, congrats for filling out!

     🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

tagged by. @tenyxshx ─ thank you flamingo nerd ♥ ilu

[stereogeekspodcast]

[Transcript] Season 1, Episode 1. Detective Mode – Batman’s Worst Enemy is Himself

In our first Detective Mode episode, we discuss why Batman is his own worst enemy, and consequently, bad for Gotham City, and the Bat-Family.

Listen to the Episode on Anchor.

[Continuum by Audionautix plays]

Ron: Today we're talking about Batman.

Mon: Yes, welcome to our first episode of Detective Mode.

Ron: Batman is a starting point for all superhero fans and he was for us. Mon: Yeah, we started off by watching the 1960s show with Adam West, and that really shaped our love for superheroes. It was camp but it was fun.

Ron: Yes, we struggled with the other versions of Batman because we loved the Adam West show so much. But once we started reading the comics, we definitely changed our minds about how we felt about Batman yeah exactly because Mon: Bruce himself is a complicated character but also a very inflexible person.

Ron: Yeah, that's a good point. Well, Shelfdust has this whole series about Batman's worst enemies, and he has a huge rogues gallery. But finally, we decided that Batman's greatest enemy is himself.

Mon: Yeah, and in this episode, we’re really going to be discussing why we think that.

Ron: Because, as much as everybody loves Batman, and we do love Batman, there are a lot of flaws with this character. In many ways he's making his own life, and the life of the citizens of Gotham, nd the people of the Bat-Family, very difficult.

Mon: Exactly. I mean, when we talk about Batman's enemies, we have Riddler, Joker, Penguin, Poison Ivy, Bane. these are just the compelling ones. There are so many more. But they are his own enemies, his personal enemies, and yes, they wreak havoc on Gotham. But why do they keep coming back?

Ron: And that's actually the only way to look at Gotham City. It's a place where crime happens but justice is never really served. And that's the whole point of Batman to actually bring justice to his city, and looking back at his past, Batman lost his parents. They were killed right in front of his eyes when he was a small boy, and that shaped his future. That shaped the person that he was going to grow up to be, and that shaped Batman. But the set of rules that he set for himself when he was a child… He was a traumatized child, and that completely colored the way he looked at justice, and that's shaped the way he's tackling the villains that attack him, and the city.

Mon: Yeah, that's true. I mean, it's a child's point of view. It's good. I mean, he's innately a good person. He has a code of honour which he usually doesn't break. There's always going to be a chance here and there, where it's going to change.

But while I like that code of honor, I feel like Bruce is working on crime in Gotham from the top down. It's easier for him to be Batman, to use his face to beat up these bad guys and throw them in Arkham. But what is he doing to make the city better?

Bruce is the wealthiest guy in the whole of Gotham. I mean, he comes from the wealthiest family, who have a history of wealth and a history of power and influence over people. So why isn't he using that? Instead he's just, you know, putting these bad guys away in Arkham, and they're breaking out of there, like every three weeks or so.

Ron: Yes. Nobody really stays in Arkham for very long. It's really a revolving door.

Mon: Yeah, and let's talk about Arkham for a minute. Like every iteration of Arkham, be it in the comics, in the games, in the TV shows and films. It's this horrible, wretched place. All it does is re-traumatizes anybody who goes in there. And it makes them worse.

Ron: So, where does the rehabilitation happen? Can you get justice in a city like Gotham without actually rehabilitating these people? All these criminals, you know, Poison Ivy, Joker, Bane, they come from great poverty, great deprivation, and they're trying to make sure that not only they can have some kind of luxury, but they can give it to their cohorts that they work with. So, where is Bruce Wayne? And where is Batman? When those people need help, before they become Joker and Poison Ivy. Mon: Yeah. And another way that I feel that Batman is not only his own worst enemy, he's also Gotham’s worst enemy is that he's fighting bad guys, he's putting them away, they come back out way stronger. But all he is doing all the time, is using his power and wealth to give himself and the Bat-Family better tech, better weapons. And that's something that's alluded to in the Christopher Nolan films. In Batman Begins where detective James Gordon says that if you're more invincible, they're going to start bringing out more powerful weapons.

Ron: Exactly. And that's actually a concerning issue, especially as we look at the world in 2020. There's so much money being spent on the police force, they have tanks, they have Kevlar, and the kind of weapons that they have access to, they could do real harm. And that's just to protect the city. I mean, that's exactly what we've been seeing in Batman. He has a suit that protects him. He has a utility belt that has all sorts of gadgets. But these are not just for him, he's making the same things for the GCPD. So, what we've seen in real life has actually been reflected in the Batman books for a very, very long time. He's actually making a world around him that allows for, even gives permission to, people to create super weapons, and that becomes dangerous for the common man.

Mon: Absolutely. The most recent arc in the Batman comic series deals with a new character called Clown Hunter, who has been killing Joker's henchmen. And Batman is dead set against it. When the Clown Hunter is introduced, Batman speaks to him about his murderous ways and Clown Hunter tries to explain to him that he lost his parents and he was orphaned. He's homeless, he's squatting in this place because of a fight between Batman and Joker. So, this young boy is collateral damage. And these are the characters that we don't often see, or we don't often see Batman engage with. But this clown hunter character, he's presented as a villain, or a villain-to-be. But he's just collateral damage in a fight that really shouldn't have happened.

Ron: We see that quite often. Even Kite-Man, he’s probably one of my least favorite characters in the DC Universe, he's extremely irritating.

Mon: I can’t believe he's such a huge part of the Harley Quinn TV show!

Ron: It actually did a really good job with him in that show. I was quite impressed. But otherwise, he's not a very good character; he's not very interesting. But his villain origin story comes from Batman. He lost somebody in his life because of Batman. It comes back to the same thing. Is Batman really helping the people of his city? What is he doing for people like Clown Hunter, for Kite-Man so that they don't end up on a path to villainy? How many heroes are in Gotham City, that will actually bring about something good? Apart from the Bat-Family. Even Nightwing, he's left, he's gone to Bludhaven. There's Red Robin. He's usually with his group of superheroes. There's Robin, who well, he doesn't really have a choice. He's Batman’s son. There’s Batgirl. At least, she is trying to do something. But she has a connection to the GCPD, because Gordon is her father. So, in a way, she has a very blinkered view of crime fighting, as well. Again, it comes back to the same thing. What are they doing to actually rehabilitate these people? What are they doing to mitigate the kind of collateral damage that they're causing?

Mon: Yeah, I mean at the end of the day, Batman is working on a surface level. He's not trying to structurally make a change to Gotham itself, and he's one of the rare people who has the power to do that.

Ron: Exactly. I mean he does have limited unlimited resources. So, what is he doing with that money?

Mon: Exactly. And we're always hearing about the corrupt cops in the GCPD and the mayor, who's usually being bribed by the Penguin or whoever. I mean, Penguin becomes mayor in several iterations of Batman series. So, we have to ask ourselves: why is Bruce just standing by and letting all this happen? And, of course, we're talking about a comic book character here, and he is just a reflection of the people who create him or writing. So, is it that much harder to think of a good character, a heroic character, who does the dirty work, but doesn't necessarily do it with his fists? Ron: Yeah. Gail Simone had an interesting Twitter chat with a few people some time ago about Batman. Quite a few people were asking, why does Bruce Wayne not do something with his money to save the city of Gotham and actually put an end to crime? And she was saying, it doesn't really make for great comic book writing, because the visceral action of somebody hitting somebody's face, or punching them in the solar plexus, that makes for great art, that makes for great reading. Somebody sitting behind a desk crunching numbers, trying to run an orphanage, or pay off some bills, that's not very exciting.

Mon: And also, I know that the diktat from up above in DC is that every comic book needs to have an action scene. It’s something Tom King alluded to a couple of years ago about his series, which is a little bit more cerebral from time to time. But yeah, he said basically every issue must have some action in it.

Ron: I think you can still have some kind of action. While also acknowledging the fact that Bruce Wayne has to do something with the money he has.

Mon: Something more. Because at the moment, what he's doing is, it looks like he's hoarding it.

Ron: It's actually quite interesting because the current Rebirth run has Bruce pretty much losing all his money. All of its been transferred to Lucius Fox. So, what is he going to do now? And another thing that we're seeing is Bruce is actually being questioned about what he's done for the city. He's actually having to rethink his war on crime, and whether it's actually brought anything to the plate.

Mon: Exactly. How effective is Batman?

Ron: We haven't seen him be very effective at all. Somebody like Joker; he's been around for quite a while. There used to be kind of comedic elements to him and the Adam West shows and. And we've seen that character become darker and darker. We've seen The Killing Joke, where he maimed Barbara. He was one of the more terrifying villains that we saw, when he was portrayed by Jack Nicholson, and he was portrayed by Heath Ledger. Let's not go into the Joaquin Phoenix Joker movie, which was not good.

But this is a person who is still a mystery in many ways, but he keeps harming the city, he keeps coming back. He harms people he causes damage, and he ends people's lives. And he causes a lot of pain in the process.

Mon: Exactly. And the worst thing is, at the end of it all, because the DC executives are so keen on keeping the Joker alive in some form or the other, it almost seems like Batman forgives the Joker. Yeah, that's why he always lets him live or sends him to Arkham, but it's not enough. Something more needs to be done about somebody who constantly returns and destroys the city.

Ron: Yes, I mean, he's a dangerous, dangerous man, and he has shown time and time again that he does not care about getting better.

Mon: So, something needs to be done. Maybe Arkham needs to be redone or restructured completely. Bruce has the power to do that. And unfortunately, he really just hasn't. So, in a way, you have to ask, is Bruce enjoying this? Maybe Bruce just keeps these people around so that he remains relevant.

Ron: Yes, it does. But in a way it makes sense because if there are no criminals, what's Batman going to do? There is no need for Batman. The whole point of Bruce becoming Batman was that he would make a city that would one day not need him. But it's been, what, eighty years of Batman and he’s still needed. Mon: Exactly. In fact, more so, because every time there's a colossal fight or battle, it seems like the city is completely at its end and there are even more new villains coming up. Just now, we've got two new different iterations of villains who are out to take on Batman and able to fight him toe to toe.

Ron: And the other thing is that, the newest villain that's been introduced, we don't really know very much about him, but it seems that he has history with Bruce. So, this is a personal battle that is being fought, and the victim is once again Gotham City.

Mon: There's so much collateral damage in the city, but even if we don't care about the poor faceless Gotham-ites, Batman's own family have been affected by his incompetence.

Ron: How can we forget Jason Todd, his second Robin, a feisty character, in many ways, but he ended up being murdered by the Joker. And because comics, he came back to life; he was resurrected. And he is still, after very many issues, very angry with Batman, who basically is a father figure to him. Because Batman never did anything to the Joker despite Jason dying. And that ended up leading to Jason becoming Red Hood, and he was a villain for quite a while.

Mon: Yeah, and it's funny because Batman basically saved Jason from being a villain. When he was young, his greatest concern was, if he left Jason out on the streets, then Jason would just become a bad guy. He would just be another one of Batman's rogues’ gallery. So, he invited him to the mansion, taught him to become the Robin. And that was great. And then, because of Batman's forgiveness of the Joker, when Jason does come back, he comes back angry, because it's constantly fueled by the fact that Batman refuses to act on what happened to him. Ron: That's how he keeps going. It's this vengeance that has shaped his relationships with almost everybody around him. And it's made him a very, very despondent, angry young man. We've had an issue with writing for Jason. It's not been good for a long time, but he can't grieve properly, he can't be a relatable person.

It seems like, because Batman is basically the flagship of DC, to make him as interesting as possible, everybody else around him is suffering.

Mon: Yeah. And let’s take Barbara Gordon, for example. We, especially nowadays, everybody talks about Jason's pain and Jason's anguish about what happened with the Joker. But people tend to forget what happened to Barbara Gordon. In The Killing Joke, which is a huge favorite among a lot of people.

Ron: It's not a very good book, actually.

Mon: It's quite problematic by today's standards, anyway. But for Barbara, she was left in a wheelchair after being shot by the Joker. And she took that opportunity. She saw it as an opportunity and became Oracle, still a very, very helpful superhero to the Bat-Family. And in the Rebirth comics, she was able to get some surgery, and she's back to being Batgirl.

But the writers, in general, tend to forget that the Joker had a lasting impact on her, as well. And while with Jason, it’s very much about his anger, with Barbara, she has to deal with it. And I don't think she's allowed to be angry at Batman. Even though she should be.

Ron: Yes, exactly! She's always been by Batman’s side, but has he earned that? Has Joker earned her forgiveness? Of course, it comes back to writing, and how female characters are never… It's a huge problem with the big two, that female characters have had certain personality traits that are not very realistic, at all.

Mon: So, it's hard to see them as rounded, fleshed out characters because that's not how the people see them.

Ron: And they have largely been written by men who seem to have very strange views on women. So that's also quite unhelpful. But again, it comes back to the same thing. What is Batman doing for his city, for his people, for himself? Because people are getting hurt. And nothing's being done about it.

Mon: There's the old adage that goes: violence begets violence. And, in essence, that's exactly what Batman is doing. Because every time he brings out his Kevlar and his armor and his fancy batmobiles, somebody is trying to figure out a new way to get through all that.

Ron: You don't want to say that it is an invitation, but because nothing is being done to keep these people behind bars or to find a way to make them better, then, it does become an invitation. Because they know that they're not going to be in Arkham for very long. Somebody is going to break them out or they're going to find a way to break themselves out. And they're going to have an upper hand because they've already fought Batman and now, they've actually learned the things that Batman seems to be working on

The principle that all the henchmen, they're desperate people so they're aligning themselves with the Riddler or Joker or whoever is the villain of the week. But those people, they're easy to grab. They're easy to punch, they're easy to put behind bars. What happens to the bosses?

Mon: Also, we have to ask ourselves: why are there so many henchmen lining up for these jobs with the Penguin and whoever? Where are the other jobs?

Ron: Exactly! That means there’s a high rate of unemployment in Gotham.

Mon: And again, that comes down to structural, systemic issues. Even if the bosses, none of them really do any work, all the henchmen have to do all the hard work and dirty work. So, if they didn't have a huge rotating door of henchmen coming in and out, they wouldn't be too effective.

Ron: We know that Bruce Wayne has a very large corporation, and obviously people are working there. Maybe there are opportunities to make new jobs. Why isn't he taking that up?

Mon: Exactly, exactly. It seems wrong to lambaste Bruce Wayne and Batman so thoroughly, since he is definitely one of our favorite superheroes. But at the same time, I feel like after 80 years of reading pretty much the same thing over and over, I think that, especially the most recent disappointment would have to be when The Joker War was happening in the Batman: Rebirth series. And by the end of it, he’s still a threat, an insidious threat, but he's still a threat.

And it just makes us wonder why DC is so against letting go of this character. Its comics. If a character dies, they'll be back in a year. It's fine. But give us a year where we do something different with Bruce Wayne.

Ron: Yes. And you know what, I would say, make a huge change. You know what this is making me think about? There's been a lot of discussion about colorblind casting in films. And we have seen different versions of certain characters. We've seen Thor, the mantle was taken up by Jane Foster. We've seen Miles Morales’ Spider-Man. Maybe we need a Bruce Wayne who is not so white.

Mon: In fact, we are going to get a few. I don't think they’re canon versions, but we do have a few things coming up in the DC future slate. The publications which will try and expand the variety and diversity of characters, even characters that we are familiar with. I hear that there's going to be a Batman who isn't exactly all white. Ron: Okay, but again, that's not the main title. That's always going to be a problem because I think, up until this year, we felt like whatever Batman was doing, it was fine. We were okay with it.

Mon: Yeah, as long as the stories are entertaining, we will keep coming back.

Ron: The stories have not been entertaining, that's a different matter altogether.

Mon: Yeah, that's it.

Ron: But since 2020 has happened. Since we’ve seen what an extremely rich, white man can do when he is in a position of power, right now, Bruce Wayne's entire arc really needs to be rethought. Because it is very difficult. The two of us are women of color. We're immigrants. Reading Batman do what he does, it's not relevant anymore. It's actually a slog for me to read Bruce Wayne’s stories. I feel really bad saying that because Batman has been in our lives forever.

Mon: Yeah. Can't remember a memory without Batman in the background

Ron: I have to really prepare myself to be like, okay a new issue of Batman has come out, let me read it. It is really difficult, because there is nothing about this man that I'm interested in or that I care about.

Mon: Yeah, I mean, he's gruff, he's rugged, he's always talking about how he works solo, and he must work alone. He has a gigantic Bat-Family. He would be so much more effective if he actually invited them to help him, instead of fighting on his own. I can't say I look forward to reading the Batman title, either. Which, again I feel really bad. But I think it's because there's a predictability that has crept into his comics. And it's because it's the safety net.

Ron: And it's the same kind of people writing the same kind of stories over and over again. I think, now is the time to really make a change.

Mon: Yeah, behind the scenes. And on the page. To really shake things up and make Bruce a compelling character again and even if it means a romantic getaway with Catwoman for seven-eight issues, we’re fine with it. It's okay! It's still different. If that makes him change his mind about how he does this war on crime.

Ron: Because Catwoman comes from nothing. Maybe that's what he needs. I do like BatCat, and I did like those issues in the Rebirth comics, but we haven't gone anywhere with it. That is the problem. There is so much that can be done with it.

Mon: Catwoman is far too restrained in her relationship with Batman. I think it again comes back to the safety of not pushing the boundaries of what Catwoman can do or can say to Batman. Because half the time I'm like, really? Why is she with this guy? He's Batman but, she deserves better.

Ron: Yeah, she's smart. She's seen a lot of the really bad parts of the city. She knows what can be done to make things better, because she's been on both sides. She's fought by Batman’s side. She's fought to save Gotham City. But she's also fought to steal stuff.

Mon: So that she can survive!

Ron: Exactly. She changes the perspective. Batman has not really had to do that. In a way, I kind of like the Christopher Nolan movies because we saw him leave Gotham City behind, leave his life behind, and actually have to be out on the streets. We see him trying to steal an apple. sharing it with another fellow thief, because he had nothing.

Mon: But in the comics, it feels like he hasn't learned from any of those kinds of experiences, or at least he's so far removed from those experiences now that he can’t really put himself in the shoes of anybody who is in that state. Ron: Yes, that's true. You were mentioning how we're going to have a future DC book where we're going to see a different version of Bruce Wayne, but I'm not sure what that's going to give us. Because I just read Batman: Overdrive which was quite enjoyable. And it wasn't written by a white man, but the ethos of Batman is somebody who has money, who has privilege. And it doesn't seem like he is able to see beyond that. And that is the problem that we have in 2020.

Mon: Interesting. So even in this Batman? I haven't read it yet.

Ron: Yes, it's a YA book, it's quite enjoyable. He's a young man. This is teenage Bruce Wayne, but he just doesn't see the privilege that he has. And it's a bit jarring when you're reading it, because… Yes he has friends who come from the wrong side of the tracks, who don't have as much money as he does, but he is just so self-absorbed. I think that's what's the problem with Bruce Wayne's money and privilege. He can't see beyond himself, even in his crime fighting. It's not how much of it is for Gotham City, and how much of it is for revenge for what happened to his parents. Mon: Wow. Yeah, that's it. I'm a little disappointed to hear that, because I was quite excited to read it. I kind of agree with you because , the problem with a character who is self absorbed or the issue with such characters, it's about them being—not being apathetic towards other people's pain and suffering, and their situation.

I think therein lies the problem with Batman. He is so absorbed with him being the sole protector of Gotham when he has so many people he can rely on. He's got Lucius Fox backing him up right now. He has Barbara who is back in the Oracle chair when she really should be fighting as Batgirl. He has all these safety nets. And he's not really doing anything with these partners that he has. And it really just comes back to the same thing that he doesn't see beyond himself. And that has repercussions on the people around him, on his city, and on the villains that he's been fighting all these years.

Ron: Exactly.

Mon: They're always saying, yeah, Batman he has his rules which is why he can't step over the boundaries. But that's not the point. Batman doesn't have to go around killing people to make a point. He needs to just make sure that Gotham isn't a breeding ground for these people.

Ron: Make structural changes when you have the ability to make those structural changes. And we're not really seeing that. I'm not saying that we need entire issues dedicated to Batman trying to build the halfway houses or something. but at least give us an inkling that he is doing something like that. And when they are introducing new villains like Clown Hunter, this is a boy who is murdering people, because of the deaths that have been caused by Batman.

Mon: And he's not just murdering common people. He's murdering people who worked with the Joker.

Ron: And who are also in some way, just regular people in difficult circumstances. So, it's such a vicious cycle.

Mon: Well, it actually reminds me off the first season of Batwoman on The CW. In Batwoman, where Ruby Rose’s Kate Kane, she's Bruce’s cousin, so she's also a person of wealth. She returns to the city and while at first, she really does want to fight as Batman, and then as Batwoman, she also starts making little changes. She buys those halfway houses, she's making a little club, which is friendly towards queer people. So, she makes her own little changes. Unfortunately, we won't be able to see more of that.

But we have a new hero in Javicia Leslie’s Ryan Wilder who is going to be debuting next year. 2021. And she is also affected by the structural issues, the systemic problems of Gotham. And she will be fighting for those people.

Ron: Javicia Leslie is a Black woman. She's playing the first Black Batwoman. And this is the kind of change that we need to see.

Mon: Exactly. Who knows, if Rose had remained as Batwoman into the second season, we probably wouldn't have seen this. But she stepped back and they saw what was happening around the world, and they made a positive change by bringing in a Black woman who can give us a completely different idea of what it is like to fight crime in Gotham. Ron: And is this something similar with Sophie Moore. They didn't have to have a Black woman in that role, but they did, and we get a completely different perspective because she's a Black, queer woman. We don't get to see characters like that. So for me, the Batman comics, if they really want to make Batman more relevant, maybe, to make sure that Batman doesn't seem like an enemy to his own people, maybe start making a big change like that.

Mon: Yeah, I, for a very long time, I've always wanted to make a sort of Elseworlds story where Batman is like sort of, half-Asian or full Asian, who knows. And the problem is that they will be rich, but because of the systemic racism and societal racism, he's not quite accepted by everybody else which is why he works alone so often. You need to sort of mold it, so it makes a little bit more sense.

Ron: But I would take that even further. What if Batman, an Asian Batman, whose parents built Gotham City, ended up seeing his parents being killed in front of him, because they were immigrants, because they were doing something for the city. We've managed to get a completely new perspective. I'm looking at it this way: we were in Dubai for so long, and there were so many South Asians who stayed there and built the city from the ground up. And it makes a difference to what the outcome of the city is. So, maybe that's what Gotham needs. Maybe that's what Batman needs. His titles need a refreshing change in point of view. Mon: Exactly.

Ron: Unfortunately for us, though we really do love Batman, we do have to admit that he has not been good for his city, for his close friends and relatives. Or for himself. He's not healing, he's not getting better. He's doing the same thing over and over again, which is quite literally the definition of madness. So, we need to see something new in Batman. We need to see him change. We need to see him held accountable for what he's been doing wrong. And maybe we just need a new Batman.

Ron: You can find us on Twitter @Stereo_Geeks. Or send us an email stereogeekspodcast@gmail.com. We hope you enjoyed this episode. And see you next week!

Mon: The Stereo Geeks logo was created using Canva. The music for our podcast comes courtesy Audionautix.

[Continuum by Audionautix plays]

Transcription by Otter.ai and Ron.

[7-wonders]

As Above, So Below Ch. 17

Summary: Your average, mundane life as a college student is flipped upside down when the man you thought you knew as your next-door neighbor turns out to be the God of the dead. When Michael lures you down to Hell, everything that you thought you knew about the world is proven wrong.

Word Count: 4387

A/N: Wow, this chapter was incredibly hard to write, and I think that’s because this story’s starting to come to an end. I’m sad, but happy that this has been so well-received. Feedback is always appreciated, and I would love it if you liked and reblogged if you enjoyed!

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6| Chapter 7| Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12 | Chapter 13 | Chapter 14 | Chapter 15 | Chapter 16 | Chapter 17: Running Out of Time

A child’s imagination is endless, made up of numerous worlds crafted from nothing more than their minds. As a child, you would spend hours upon hours with other neighborhood children, playing as pirates, astronauts, cowboys and cowgirls, time travellers, and royalty. Bike helmets would serve as protection from the lack of oxygen in outer space, fallen branches acted as swords and pistols, daisy chains were crowns, and blankets were capes. These fairy tales, however, were just that: tales, imaginary scenarios that children dreamt up. At least, they were just tales until you fell down a Hellmouth with the God of the Dead. Five-year-old you, if she could see you right at this moment, would be absolutely green with envy.

Zoe, Madison, and Desa dress you, as they have so many times before, but it’s a silent affair this time. The tension in the room is thick and lingering, everybody on edge about the events soon to transpire. The three women are already dressed, and you assume the reason that it’s taking so long for them to get you dressed is a way to get rid of some nerves: by nitpicking about every aspect of your outfit, it allows them to visualize their stress.

The dress that they’ve decided on is off-the-shoulder and accentuates your curves before flowing like a ball gown down the rest of your body. It’s made of some sort of crushed velvet, although the material feels a lot more luxurious than the velvet that you’re used to. What takes some getting used to is the color, a deep burgundy that is darker than anything that you’ve worn since you first arrived in the Underworld. You can’t say that you hate it, mainly because it makes you look elegant in a way that you’ve never looked before. Lighter shades of red lick up the hem of the dress, making it look like you’re trailing flames.

Your makeup’s been done to perfection, but you wouldn’t expect anything else when Madison’s in charge. A silver necklace accented with rubies drips down your neck, and Zoe’s tongue pokes out of her mouth in concentration as she attaches matching ruby earrings to your earlobes. Reaching up to twist the silver ring with a cloudy gray pearl that sits on your index finger, you realize that your hands are shaking.

“Hey,” Madison calls to get your attention, “stop shaking or else you are going to end up sounding like a windchime with your necklace clanking around.” It’s a lame attempt to get you to smile, and the most you can force out is a halfhearted chuckle.

“I’ll try my hardest.”

“Whatever happens, (Y/N), we’re doing this together. Luckily for you, I don’t tolerate losing, so our only option is to win.”

“Ladies, it is time.” A knock sounds a second before the door opens, Thanatos peeking his head in.

“Are you ready?” Desa asks.

“Nope, but that doesn’t really matter since we’re doing this.” You blink away a sudden rush of tears when you smile at Desa for what may be the last time, taking a deep breath and nodding. “Now or never, then.”

Even from outside of the Grand Hall, you can still tell that the regality of this affair is like nothing you’ve ever experienced before. Just seeing the procession ahead of you of demons, mythical beings, and gods is insanely intimidating. Although you and Michael have gone through how the coronation will go, and what to say and do, you’re still worried that you’ll mess up. Before you can have any more time to worry, however, the large doors open and the orchestral music swells.

Every person, or creature, stands the moment you enter. In this moment, you wish more than ever that Michael was by your side. Madison would absolutely berate you in this moment if she could, the sight of you trying to avoid shaking like a leaf as you walk down the aisle presumably rage-inducing. Everybody’s eyes are glued to you, the train of your dress trailing behind you. It honestly feels like a wedding, and you’re extremely thankful that you’re not actually marrying, or becoming queen, today. You love Michael, but the thought of anything as extravagant as what you’re experiencing right now is nauseating.

Michael stands on a raised altar, wearing his finest black uniform and a red cape with ornate attachments. A sword is sheathed at his side, the bejeweled hilt resting just above his hip. That beautiful black crown, adorned with red rubies, sits perched atop his golden curls; Michael’s ethereally intimidating, and you can see how his quiet demeanor is enough to rule over all of the dead. You smile shakily when you reach him, but he doesn’t break his stern face as he holds out a hand for you to grasp. He helps you sink to your knees, handmaidens fixing your dress behind you.

“Sirs and Madams, I present to you (Y/N) (Y/L/N), your undoubted Queen. Wherefore all you who are come this day to do your homage and service, are you willing to do the same?” Cassius, a high-ranking demon, has agreed to act as the master of ceremonies for today’s fake coronation and begins the proceedings. The crowd all affirms that they are willing, and Cassius turns to stand next to Michael and face you.

“Will you, (Y/N) (Y/L/N), solemnly promise and swear to govern the peoples of the Underworld, and all of its domains, by the respective laws and customs?” Michael looks down at you and asks. Your hands rest in your lap, fingers twisting and turning nervously as you nod.

“I solemnly promise so to do,” you recite with a shaking voice.

“Will you to your power cause law and justice, in mercy, to be executed in all your judgments?”

“I will.”

“Will you to the utmost of your power maintain the laws of the Underworld and preserve its legacy?”

“I will.”

The handmaidens walk forward at this cue and place a shimmering gold cape that drapes over your shoulders. Michael’s handed a small bowl with an ‘anointing oil’ inside of it. Due to the fact that this is a fake coronation, the oil is actually just water mixed with some lavender extract. Dipping his thumb into the ‘oil,’ he draws a symbol on your forehead while proclaiming something in Latin. You briefly realize that you’re going to have to learn Latin soon enough, a daunting task that you’ll push to the side for now as Michael takes your crown from the pedestal it sits upon.

Zoe had told you that there would be a special crown designed for the event, but you didn’t realize just how beautiful it would be. Delicate silver filigree connects the silver leaves to the base of the crown, creating a tiara that childhood you would have gone absolutely crazy for. Your favorite part, however, is the small flowers crafted out of the black onyx that Michael’s so fond of, small rubies dotting the center of each one. Although this isn’t an actual coronation, you’d be honored to wear a crown as beautiful and as regal as this one.

You hold your breath as the crown is placed on top of your head, sure that Satan’s going to tear the roof off of the building. Based on what you’re expecting, it’s anticlimactic when you’re crowned and nothing happens. Michael, to the outside eye, doesn’t look concerned, but you can see the confusion on his face. Where’s the uproar, the screaming? Nobody was planning on this to actually go off without a hitch. Michael proceeds as if nothing unexpected has happened, taking your hands and pulling you up to your feet.

“Queen (Y/N), ruler of the Underworld. Long may she reign.” Michael formally presents you to the crowd of people, who all stand in recognition.

“Long may she reign,” they repeat before cheering.

“Oh yes, long may she reign,” a mocking voice sounds above the cheering, sending the attendees into silence. A man steps into the aisle, calmly approaching the altar that you and Michael stand on. He’s tall, his unruly black hair somehow manages to look like he styled it that way, and his hazel eyes seem to flicker and crackle with sparks. Guards stand at attention, ready to protect you if the need arises, but a mere flick of the man’s hand sends the guards falling to the ground in a heap. “My son, are you really so naive as to believe that I would not find out about this secret coronation of yours?”

Michael steps ahead, putting a protective arm in front of your body. It’s at this moment that you realize two things: One, that Satan was able to assume a human form in order to sneak into the coronation. While this is frightening, the second thing that you realize assures you that the plan is not completely derailed, and this is that Satan doesn’t realize that this is a fake coronation. He thinks that you’ve just been legitimately crowned queen, which means that Michael’s assumption about his father’s impulsiveness proves correct.

“Oh, I’m not naive at all. In fact, I like to believe that I planned this perfectly. You are, after all, our honored guest this afternoon.” Satan quirks an eyebrow, scoffing at Michael’s vague statement.

“Pardon my bluntness, but what exactly are you getting at?”

“He’s saying that we’ve got you right where we want you, dumbass,” Madison speaks up from amongst the crowd, self-assured voice ringing loud and clear. Satan slowly looks over his shoulder, smiling a smile that, you realize with a pang in your chest, is the exact same feral grin that you’ve seen multiple times on Michael.

“The Goddess of Witchcraft. I was wondering when you would grace us with your presence,” Satan sarcastically retorts. “Let us stop with these games, Michael. You know what I want, and you know that I can and will get it with whatever means necessary.” You hold back a shudder when he turns those cold eyes towards you; if there was ever a time to describe someone as having eyes filled with hellfire, it would be now.

“Then you should also know, Father, that I don’t cater to the whims of those below me.”

“‘Below’ you?” Satan’s impulsiveness strikes once again as he steps closer, standing on the bottom step of the altar while pointing a long finger at Michael. “I created you, boy, and you would do well to remember that.”

“Madison?” Michael calls, the goddess fluidly raising a hand in the air. You watch with bated breath as she draws out the tension before closing her hand into a fist. Like a mirage, the crowd of spectators shimmer before disappearing into thin air. The once-full Grand Hall is now deserted, save for you, Madison, Zoe, Michael, Thanatos, and Satan.

“A clever parlor trick, but I do not see how this factors into your grand plan.”

“It’s simply a way to avoid collateral damage,” Michael smirks.

When Satan goes to question Michael again, his face is frozen in an open-mouthed, angry expression. You’re momentarily confused until you glance over and see Madison and Zoe working together to keep him frozen to his spot.

“The spell won’t keep him like this for too long; we need to transmute now, or else we’ll lose our chance,” Zoe commands in a rare show of dominance. Michael clasps one of your hands as you form a circle around Satan, Zoe grabbing onto your other hand to connect the chain of magic. Once everyone has a hold on someone else’s hand, Madison nods.

“I’m going to release him from his bonds. The second I let go, we need to transmute.” You nod, nerves being overtaken by the desire to defeat this man who, for all intents and purposes, has attempted to make your life a living hell. “Now!”

Even with everyone’s powers being combined, the toll that it takes on your mortal body to help move the Devil through time and space is extremely noticeable. You’re panting, chest heaving as if you’ve just ran a marathon. Your overheated body, however, quickly becomes chilled when the eternal winter air of Cocytus freezes your nerve endings. The sleeveless coronation gown does little to protect you from the elements, and you clench your jaw to keep your teeth from chattering. Satan stumbles forward as he suddenly regains control of his body, synapses trying to catch up to the reflexes that were delayed while he was under Madison’s control. Madison, Zoe, and Thanatos go to work at discreetly heating up the thick layer of ice that lays beneath Satan’s feet, while you and Michael start to distract him.

“I admire your desire to move this little battle of yours to the edge of your domain in an attempt to minimize casualties, Michael. However, this will make it quite difficult for your subjects to recover your bodies after I am done with you five.” Although Satan’s got his eyes locked on Michael’s, shivers still wrack down your spine from the intensity of it all.

“You’ve always been far too cocky for your own good, Father,” Michael says.

“And you have always been too churlish. My problem, though, does not lie with you.”

Satan steps towards you slowly, hair barely rustling even with the icy wind whipping across the flat landscape. Michael attempts to put himself in front of you, offering his body as your shield, but you place your hand on his shoulder to stop him. No words are exchanged between you, but the look in your eyes says it all. You need to do this, need to keep the Devil occupied with the misguided hope that he could take his ‘enemy’ out easily. The ice is too thick for just Madison, Zoe, and Thanatos to melt, and he would figure out the plan immediately if you were to start helping. It needs to be you that captures his attention.

“Look, I never wanted any of this in the first place. You know that I wasn’t originally brought here of my own volition, right?” Your eyes shift quickly from Satan to his son, letting the golden-haired god know to start helping the others.

“I figured as much upon seeing how you reacted to your first few days in the Underworld. Indeed, I had hoped that you would find your way back Above without my intervention. After all, I have never been one for getting my hands dirty. But once you attended that ball with Michael, I knew that I needed to make an appearance in order to…spur everyone into saving the life of their sweet, innocent little human pet,” Satan mocks with a wide grin. “Imagine my surprise and delight when the Underworld attempted to expel you itself.”

“So you didn’t know that the Underworld was slowly killing me?” It’s a dumb question to ask, but it masks the subtle cracking of the ice as the structure starts to weaken.

“I did not, but it certainly worked to my advantage. That is, until you decided to attempt the test of the Seven Wonders with the expectation that, if you passed, your title of Supreme Witch would allow you more time in the Underworld.”

“And now I’m here,” you mutter, flexing your frozen fingers to keep from shaking with nerves. Your life has been full of fears being faced in recent months, but nothing you’ve seen so far compares to the fear you feel from being in front of the embodiment of the antithesis of good.

“And now you are here,” Satan agrees. “I must admit, (Y/N), I admire your fiery tenacity. Your dedication to those that you care about is one of the few positive human traits that I shall miss upon my destruction of humanity.”

“Who says you’ll even get the chance to destroy humanity?” Satan laughs loudly, spreading his arms as if to prove a point.

“How can any of you expect to defeat me, when I have already won? All of the magic in the universe would not be able to kill me; your attempts, while noble, have proven fruitless. And now, you all must die.”

When your lungs start burning for air, it takes your brain a moment to realize what’s happening. It’s ironic that the lack of oxygen is preventing you from registering that your airway is obviously being cut off, and it’s only when you see Satan’s hand flexing at his side that your mind makes the connection that it’s his powers that are suffocating you. A loud gasping noise is the only sound you can make as your hands come up to your throat, fingers clawing at the invisible hands that have you in a vice like grip. He laughs as he lifts his hand, the invisible hand holding you captive forcing your body up in the air. Michael’s attention is drawn away from his task when he senses your distress, and you have to furiously shake your head to let him know that you’ve got things under control.

Black spots dance across your vision as you hold your own hand out, trying to summon the large chunk of ice that you can see laying thirty feet away. You’re pleased to know that, even on the verge of losing consciousness, your powers still remain as potent as they have been since you finished your last wonder. The frozen mass wobbles before propelling forwards, smacking against Satan’s skull before he can comprehend the giant ice ball flying straight at him. It doesn’t knock him out, but it does knock him down and jar his concentration, releasing you from his grasp.

The burning in your lungs is even worse as you hurriedly breathe heavy gasps of air, body trying to make up for the lack of oxygen it’s experienced. You’re on your hands and knees, coughing while you try to blink your vision back into place. The three Satans that keep weaving in and out of your eyesight are slow to get up, and you’re already back on your feet by the time he manages to crawl to his knees.

“It truly is a shame that, after all the trouble your friends went through to save their precious human, you will die at my hand.” Satan morphs from his human body to the being that you first saw him as, with a coal-black body that moves as if it’s made of smoke, raised etchings decorating his ‘skin.’ Those burning embers that constitute his eyes are somehow less terrifying than his piercing human gaze, but they still burn down upon you.

Satan’s transformation into his original form, which he sees as his final show of power before he kills you once and for all, works to your advantage. The ice, slowly yet surely cracking beneath him the entire time, now starts to rupture loudly from the combination of the weakening structure and the sudden extra weight standing on top of it. Satan yells when he looks down to see what’s happening underneath him, stepping back to escape the danger. When you combine your power with theirs, it is the missing link that is needed to fully melt the ice underneath him. A tremendous breaking sound rings through the air, the ice finally giving way to the freezing waters that flow below.

His claws scrabble across the ice as his lower half is submerged, but even Satan is no match to the freezing shock to the nervous system that falling through ice provides. The fire in his eyes is extinguished as he bobs up and down in the water, slowly sinking down into the depths of Cocytus. You watch with bated breath as the once-great creature is reduced to nothing more than a block of ice, his outstretched hand being the last part of him that you see. You all look at each other in disbelief, trying to find the words to accurately describe how you’re feeling.

“Did…did we do it?” Zoe asks, hands on her hips as she tries to gather her breath.

“I think so,” Thanatos replies, peering into the rushing, dark water for any sign of life.

Michael smiles at you, and you start to make your way towards him from across the ice. His face, however, quickly turns into a look of alarm when you hear cracking from under your feet. Whether the ice was overheated from the combination of your powers or Satan’s weight had more of an effect on the surface than any of you realized, it doesn’t matter in this moment.

“Run!” A chorus of voices start screaming, three sets of eyes and one set of empty eye sockets watching as you stumble through the snow to try and get to safety. Ice, unfortunately, is much faster than you. You can barely form a scream before the ice breaks beneath you, plunging you into the freezing waters.

Inadvertently gasping at the shock of suddenly being in the coldest water you’ve ever felt, your lungs become flooded with the water. Everytime your body tries to cough it up, you inhale more. Your arms and legs thrash around you as you try to remember how to swim, but the panic and the shock make it impossible to even think. You don’t even know which way is up, the water so disorienting that every direction seems to be the same.

Up above, Madison screams after you disappear. Michael surges forward, forgetting the apparent danger that comes with unstable ice. He starts to kick at the snow, uncovering the ice to try and see if he can find your body. Zoe looks into the hole where you fell through, tracking the current that moves the water, and your body, downstream.

“The current’s this way!” She yells, gaining the attention of the three others who are furiously kicking snow out of the way.

“Michael, breathe,” Madison touches his shoulders to make him focus on her. “Pinpoint her life force, use your powers.”

Michael nods, hands raking through his hair while he tries to find you. When he does locate your spirit, he runs along the direction of the current, falling to his knees and clearing the snow away from the ice. He starts to pound his fists against the ice, desperately trying to break through before he loses his chance.

It’s funny, you dimly think, how this dying experience is so much different than your last. When you were dying of the fever, your body killing itself as a response to being in the Underworld, you were terrified. You didn’t want to die, and the disorienting blur of events frightened your already-scared self. Now, though, you’re calm. Maybe you’re already dead? After the panic subsided, the only thing left was a serene sense of peace. The current that you’re drifting along with is comforting, wrapping around you like a thick blanket and completely enveloping you.

The last thing that you think about is Michael, but that’s not too surprising. You imagine his smile and how he was never able to understand your millennial jokes. You can almost feel his hands clutching yours, surprisingly warm considering he’s the God of the Dead. You wish you had more time with him, imagining all of the things that you would be able to do if you weren’t going to die in this water. Sure, you would have had to find some way to remain in the Underworld that was more permanent than being the Supreme, but you could handle anything as long as Michael was at your side. “I’m sorry, Michael,” you think.

“Get back!” Madison waits for Thanatos to drag Michael away before muttering an explosion spell. There’s no way that Michael would have been able to smash his way through the thick ice, and his bloodied fists would only become worse if she allowed him to continue his futile pursuit. The spell helps to make some progress, but Madison has to repeat the spell two more times before the ice breaks away and exposes the water.

Michael crawls to the jagged lip of broken ice, jeweled hand reaching into the freezing water to try and fish you out. He searches through the water, your body bumping into him right as he was starting to consider jumping in himself. You’re dead weight, and Michael has to wrap both of his arms around you to drag you back up onto the ice. Your lips are a sickening blue, and Michael panics when he can’t find your pulse.

CPR isn’t something he’s too familiar with, but he knows enough about the process to start pumping at your chest and administering compressions. Zoe clutches onto Madison, tears freezing as they make tracks down her cheeks. Thanatos, so used to being the one to help, can do nothing but watch as Michael tries to resuscitate you. Michael pinches your nose shut and tilts your chin back, breathing into your mouth before starting compressions again. When you cough up buckets of water, chest heaving as your lungs get rid of the water while simultaneously attempting to breathe normally again, Michael sobs. When your eyes blink open and you look around, everybody, even Madison, sobs.

“Hi, darling,” Michael mumbles, rubbing his thumb against your cheek. You smile weakly, Michael stopping you as you try to speak through your coughing. “Shh, it’s okay. You don’t need to say anything.”

Although he tells you not to speak, there’s a million things that you want to say. How grateful you are for being saved, the happiness you feel at Satan being gone, the excitement at what comes next, how tired you are after coming back to life, and especially how cold you are. Michael doesn’t need to hear you say it out loud though, smiling as he hears your inner monologue. He stands with you in his arms, carrying you off of the death trap of a frozen lake so that he can transmute with you and get you warmed up before you go into shock, Madison, Zoe, and Thanatos staying behind to freeze the river back over again to fully trap Satan and his consciousness. There’s a million things that you want to say, but now you have all the time in the world to say it.

//////////////////////

@nana15774 @queencocoakimmie @sammythankyou @girlycakepops @trimbooohgodplsnoooo @lichellaw @sebastianshoe @pastel-cloudz @ultragibbycentralworld @grim-adventures58 @dandycandy75 @dolceandchalamet @everything-is-awesomesauce @langdonslove@ccodyfern @consultingsnowqueen @readsalot73 @jimmlangdon @sloppy-little-witch-bitch26 @hplotrfan @omg-hellgirl @gallxntdean @storminmytwistedmind @venusxxlangdon @langdonsdemon @kahhlo @americanhorrorstudies @antichristwrites @xxxmaterialistic @forgetting5sos @sadsadiesworld @michaelsapostle @izuniias @grippleback-galaxy 

[curlyhairedbibliophile]

Friday Black by Nana Kwame Adjei-Brenyah || Book Review

ATY in 52 Books | A book that was nominated for or won an award in a genre you enjoy (National Book Foundation Honoree, 5 Under 35)

Synopsis | In the stories of Adjei-Brenyah's debut, an amusement park lets players enter augmented reality to hunt terrorists or shoot intruders played by minority actors, a school shooting results in both the victim and gunman stuck in a shared purgatory, and an author sells his soul to a many-tongued god.

By placing ordinary characters in extraordinary situations, Adjei-Brenyah reveals the violence, injustice, and painful absurdities that black men and women contend with every day. These stories tackle urgent instances of racism and cultural unrest and explore the many ways we fight for humanity in an unforgiving world.

REVIEW

I’d never really been one to go for short stories in the past. Preferences aside,  this collection seemed to be more my speed, so I gave it a shot. Just the titles alone had me intrigued to want to find out what could be behind them, and I was never disappointed in what I found. Reading through this felt like watching mini episodes of Black Mirror, and I wouldn't mind seeing some of them expand into full novels. 

Highlights

The Finkelstein 5

Emmanuel started learning the basics of his Blackness before he knew how to do long division: smiling when angry, whispering when he wanted to yell. 

An extremely surreal tale about seeking justice for those who lost their lives at the hands of those “protecting” themselves. I knew from the first sentence that I was in for a wild ride and this did not disappoint. The switching between the court room proceedings and Emmanuel’s day and thought process was really strong, especially when the events and outcome seemed to fuel his motivation. It did make me angry in parts just because it felt so close to home in relation to all the shootings and killings over the last few years, but the ending, while dark, still made me feel like an anger was released. 

The Era

Everybody gets their mandatory Good in the mornings with breakfast at school, but they have extra at the nurse’s. I go to the nurse because Good makes me feel good. When I have Good, it’s easy to be proud and truthful, and ignore the things that cloud my truth, like Marlene, or being made into an example, or knowing I’ll never be perfect.

This was an interesting take on the quest for perfection and what we as a society will put ourselves through to achieve it. It also said a lot about how we often look down on expressed emotion, like when people speak their mind on current issues going on in society and are then told to calm down and stop being “sensitive.” There were many instances here that I could see happening in an episode of Black Mirror, which is a little terrifying because so many things depicted don’t seem that far away from reality.

Lark Street

An impossible hand punched my earlobe. An unborn fetus, aborted the day before, was standing at my bedside. His name was Jackie Gunner.

A dark, but really interesting tale about a man being confronted face to face with his aborted twins. Parts of this were really sad, especially in terms of the conversations the father had with his would-be children. It ultimately came down to a matter of preparedness and abandonment, which gave this a lot of meaning for me.

Zimmer Land 

Zimmer Land Mission: 1) To create a safe place for adults to explore problem-solving, justice, and judgement. 2) To provide the tools for patrons to learn about themselves in curated heightened situations. 3) To entertain.

Of the 12, this one reminded me of Black Mirror the most, specifically the White Bear and Black Museum episodes. The title alone gave me an inkling to what the overall story might be about, but much like Finkelstein 5, I wasn’t entirely prepared for what I would find. The read was really disturbing at times, especially factoring in the idea that people might actually participate in something like this and get any amusement out of it. 

Friday Black

Ever since that first time, since the bite, I can speak Black Friday. Or I can understand it, at least. Not fluently, but well enough. I have some of them in me. I hear the people, the sizes, the model, the make, and the reason. Even if all they’re doing is foaming at the mouth.

This one hit close to home for me working in retail, especially during the craziness of the holidays. I really liked the take on this with someone who’s been doing this for so long that they speak another language, in this case being zombie-like customers who will do anything for the latest winter coat. It made Black Friday seem more like a viral outbreak that consumes every ounce of an individual’s humanity and turns them into a mindless creature (which it seems to be doing more and more each year, to be quite honest).

Light Spitter

The ghost of Fuckton walks from the bathroom, drawn to the angel floating over her former body, which is limp and bent over the back of a cushy chair. Deirdra and Fuckton see each other.                                                      

“What happened?” Fuckton asks.                                

Deirdra turns her head and tries to spit on Fuckton, but all that comes from her mouth are slim rays of light. After trying and failing to do anything but shine, she says, “You killed her - me. You killed me.” Fuckton stares at the angel. She looks just like the dead girl on the chair used to. Then he looks at the body.

“Oh, yeah. That feels like it was ages ago. My bad,” Fuckton says.

Much like the confrontation in Lark Street, this was another interesting take on a conversation between two parties that I’d never considered. It brought to mind something I’ve always wondered whenever these mass shootings occur - What exactly goes through the mind of a killer? And if they survive, do they ever have any remorse for the lives they took and the aftermath they’ve caused? I really appreciated the path this took with the two spirits navigating their way through their new existences, trying to help prevent similar catastrophes and opening themselves up to communication, possibly even forgiveness down the line. This could absolutely be a good conversation starter for a much needed and overdue discussion on what went wrong with those that have already happened and how to prevent more from happening in the future.

Overall, this was such a wild ride of beautifully interesting and creepy imagery with a wide range of genres and topics, and I can’t wait to read even more in the future! 

Rating |  🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟 Goodreads

[squadron-leader-farrier]

Let's spice things up a bit; ANSWER ALL OF THE QUESTIONS

oh baby, you answered m prayers lol this is gonna be long so buckle up ?

1. favourite place in your country? my hill station, because of the weather, and because i haven’t been to many places, and the ones that i have been to were extremely hot and i never want to go there again,

2. do you prefer spending your holidays in your country or travel abroad? depends on the holidays tbh. what the festivals the holidays fall near and that. i’d stay here for some, but for the ones that we don’t celebrate in my country like Halloween, i’d like to go abroad.

3. does your country have access to sea? peninsula, babey!

4. favourite dish specific for your country? chicken biryani. boy, oh boy, just thinking about it makes my mouth water. it’s that good. gosh, the flavour, the spice. the way they cook it,,,, the colours ahhhh

5. favourite song in your native language? ones made before the 60s. and the patriotic songs. there are too many to name, but two (non patriotic) ones are this and this (because they’re sad love songs and give me flyboys feels ya kno?)

6. most hated song in your native language? like, as a nation? idk. but personally, i hate, absolutely loathe any songs made after the 60s. they lack originality and creativity. all they did was rip off popular english songs, and changed the lyrics. that’s literally all they did. and they are super proud of it. i hate it. the music industry had gone to complete shit. even today they don’t know what good music is and ow to make it. they’re remixing all the old ones because they lack creativity. i hate it. 

7. three words from your native language that you like the most? i don’t like any three words, because they’re not that appealing on their own (not the ones i can think of right at this moment) but rather, phrases. when you string those words and make poetry or prose. it’s really beautiful, and really poetic. perhaps the best ones are in those two songs, and others like them.

8. do you get confused with other nationalities? if so, which ones and by whom? i haven’t been in a situation like that so i can’t say.

9. which of your neighbouring countries would you like to visit most/know best? probably Russia because the ones right next to me are exactly the same in topographical, cultural and architectural respects. there’s literally nothing new to see there, so i’d like to go to Russia.

10. most enjoyable swear word in your native language? so it’s basically three: bhenchod/madarchod/chutiya. all of them mean motherfucker in their basic essence, but are used to describe people, cuss out people, call your pal, so basically, the hindi equivalent of fuck. can be used as adjectives, prepositions, verbs, nouns, whatnot. can be used individually or all together. perhaps splash one of them in a conversation to make the group giggle a bit more while telling a funny story. 

11. favourite native writer/poet? the ones who wrote nationalistic literature during the freedom struggle. so, to say, i like Sarojni Naidu, and Tagore. they’re perhaps the most famous ones of the time, and i like their work. 

12. what do you think about English translations of your favourite native prose/poem? i don’t have any, because they’re already written in english by the authors. i read a poem or two lying around somewhere, but the thing about hindi is that the translations don’t bear the same feelings as the originals. 

13. does your country (or family) have any specific superstitions or traditions that might seem strange to outsiders?  oh there are too many. too many by far. most of them are the usual black cat and others, oh, one i heard when i was in like 4th grade was that you shouldn’t go out with open wet hair at night because a spirit can get caught in em and come home with you. so that was strange. my family doesn’t have any, we’re rather realistic.

14. do you enjoy your country’s cinema and/or TV? no not in the least. you know why? because of this. i swear to fuck, the person who uploaded this compilation didn’t edit a single thing in. how do i know? because i’ve watched these on actual television. when i was young. in my neighbour’s tv. 

15. a saying, joke, or hermetic meme that only people from your country will get? remember when some of you motherfuckers got offended by bitch lasagna because you lack basic understanding what a fucking joke is? you don’t know what satire is? you are the reason why people think indians have no sense of humour because you DON’T it was a fucking JOKE holy shit i’m so triggered by this

16. which stereotype about your country you hate the most and which one you somewhat agree with? haven’t heard of many stereotypes about us, but the laziest one i can think of is that we can do math and are good at science. we’re not. i’m shit at all of that. so are my 34 other classmates. 

17. are you interested in your country’s history?  not really, tbh. maybe the period just before independence, and some post-independence stuff, because i got dirt on those politicians and i want more of that so that i have a reasonable justification for hating politicians.

18. do you speak with a dialect of your native language? i don’t know, maybe i’m so used to it i don’t even realise lol. but i guess so.

19. do you like your country’s flag and/or emblem? what about the national anthem? YES. YES. YES. i love them. i absolutely adore them. the flag is so symbolic and so beautiful i love her (orange on top for sacrifice, white in the middle for purity, green at the bottom for prosperity, the blue circle in the middle for resolution and justice, just ahhhh). the national anthem always gives me the chills. everytime i hear it playing somewhere, or when we sing it sometimes after assembly, or during days like today (independence day) or republic day, when we finish singing the last line it just always makes me a bit emotional and proud? yeah. today i almost started crying because i love it so much.

20. which sport is The Sport in your country? Cricket. even though the national sport is hockey. no one cares about hockey :(

21. if you could send two things from your country into space, what would they be?  the memers who think they’re very funny, (which they are not in the least), and the anti nationalists and separatists. i do not want them here. get lost. fuck off. shooo.

22. what makes you proud about your country? what makes you ashamed? what makes me proud, is the freedom struggle of the revolutionaries, and the progress we’re making in every field, the hospitality of the people, and the unity in diversity. what makes me ashamed is that there’s still so much corruption in the government, can’t help it, the law’s delay, gosh the people who think they’’re better than everybody else, the entertainment industry, the music industry, some of the people, most of the politicians, etc.

23. which alcoholic beverage is the favoured one in your country? bold of you to assume we have a single favourite beverage for the entire country. i think it varies from state to state. for mine i think it may be something apple related, because we have lots of apples here. the season is also coming lol and also, it’s very confusing because some states have completely banned alcohol and in some the legal drinking age is 18. 

24. what other nation is joked about most often in your country? canada and ‘murica mostly because so many people immigrate there 

25. would you like to come from another place, be born in another country? i’d like to be British, because  i like the aesthetic and weather. 

26. does your nationality get portrayed in Hollywood/American media? what do you think about the portrayal? i don’t watch many movies, but i think it’s not much/a small amount and neither do i mind nor do i care. 

27. favourite national celebrity? no one. i hate all of them.

28. does your country have a lot of lakes, mountains, rivers? do you have favourites? yep!! she’s not called a subcontinent for nothing, babey! i live near the Himalayas, so i like that.

29. does your region/city have a beef with another place in your country? oooooh yes. ooooooooooh  boy. with Pakistan lol. mainly because of the union territory of jammu and kashmir. because pakistan wants it, we want it, and it legally also belongs to us. there’s separatists there, anti nationalists, and there’s poverty there, so it’s easy to instigate the people against the government. there were wars fought for it, most of them ended in our favour, but the other side is still making so many ceasefire violations, it is insane. it has been years, and every other day there’s a new violation. there’s lots of unrest in the valley, which is a shame, because it is a truly beautiful place. 

30. do you have people of different nationalities in your family? my uncle is British, my cousin’s husband is also a Brit. a great-grand relative of mine was also British. there are none on my mother’s side.

[honourablejester]

An extremely elaborate and specific LotR AU fanfic I’ve had in my head for years but will never write or request b/c it’s a trope I’m extremely finicky about:

A Sauron-less AU where Saruman has become the secret villain off his own bat, playing kingmaker and destroyer among the kingdoms of men for his own amusement, and seeking to remake the long-thought-destroyed orcs and goblins to use as hidden pawns to set men and elves and dwarves against each other.

Which plot starts on the road to discovery when he starts sending Uruk-Hai secretly into the relatively undefended Shire to kidnap hobbits to convert into goblins or other creatures, and for use as slaves.

Specifically, they take Merry and Pippin. Because guess which part of the Two Towers was my favourite plotline as a kid.

So an injured Merry and Pippin are taken captive and brought to Orthanc as slaves, where they meet Saruman and Wormtongue, who is still fulfilling his canon role as Saruman’s mole in Rohan. Merry, who was injured in their capture, is fading badly by this stage, so Pippin tries to manipulate Wormtongue into taking him and Saruman into letting him, figuring that Merry has to have a better chance in Rohan than he does among Uruk-Hai. He largely succeeds, though not without some cost, and Wormtongue takes an only-semi-aware Merry back to Edoras as his personal ‘man servant’.

Pippin, meanwhile, is kept prisoner a little longer, until a delegation from Minas Tirith arrives in Isengard at Saruman’s request. A delegation led by Steward Denethor’s eldest son, whom Saruman seeks to briefly placate with a little gift ...

Meanwhile to all of this, Saruman’s orcs have been attacking strategic settlements and parties to drive up tensions between the races, most particularly between Gondor and everyone else. The attacks on all their homelands and rising tensions cause a gathering in Rivendell among the Northern peoples. And one particular hobbit and his gardener, inspired by his uncle’s tales of the fairness and justice of the elves, make their way across Eriador to attend the summit and bring the big races’ attention to his kidnapped kinsfolk.

Most basically, I wanted slave!Pippin in Gondor and slave!Merry in Rohan, doing their best to survive, bring Saruman to the attention of the powers around them, and at some point reunite with each other. Merry develops a fast and wary friendship with Eowyn, two people alone and under threat in the madness King Theoden’s court has become. Pippin makes tentative inroads with Boromir, who is horrified at the nature of Saruman’s ‘gift’ but too loyal to his father and his kingdom to overtly reject it, but it’s Faramir and Beregond who truly forge bonds with him in Minas Tirith, while Boromir is sent out to ready for war with the North on his father’s behalf. As the Northern forces descend unwillingly southwards and the threat of war rises, it’s up to two small and extremely battered hobbits to derail a dark wizard’s plans.

Things I also wanted somewhere along the road with this idea:

Merry developing a really weird hate/sympathy towards Wormtongue after the man essentially saves his life/prevents him from dying in Isengard, and doing his best to both defeat his goals but also find a degree of mercy for him later, even though Grima’s treatment of Eowyn rapidly erodes much of his sympathy

Gandalf, spurred by Frodo and Sam into suspicion, starting to investigate the kingdoms of men specifically, searching for the source of the hostility, and it’s Merry’s captivity and Theoden’s possession that clues him into Saruman’s treachery in this universe

Boromir sensing the stink of corruption from Saruman, but Denethor is too far gone to the wizard’s (magically-strengthened) manipulations for him to do anything about it, and Boromir cannot let Gondor fall to her enemies, no matter how justified he increasingly fears they might be

Faramir having so much less stomach for Saruman and his father’s actions than his brother, not least because he is so much closer and bears more witness to Denethor’s contempt and ill-treatment of Pippin, and feels torn in two between morality and this evidence of his own ‘disloyalty’ to his family

Faramir eventually breaking and trying to help Pippin escape, but by mischance or manipulation they happen to land right in the middle of one of Saruman’s escalating orc attacks in the attempt. They’re both captured, and Saruman leverages the incident to portray Pippin as having led Faramir into an ‘elvish’ trap, seeking to use it to incite outright war between north and south

Actual elves (possibly Haldir leading a Lothlorien band south to seek the truth) rescuing-slash-capturing them, but not before Pippin has gotten himself slightly chewed upon trying to protect Faramir in apology for the attempt to free him having gotten the man captured, and Faramir is completely frantic for them to save him.

(Rescued, because they’re elves and good and fair and not inclined to eat people, Captured because Gondor is technically well on the way to being at war with everybody and Faramir is Denethor’s second son)

They’re brought north to the elven/dwarven/dunedain/rohirrim war camp gathering in the recently-liberated Rohan

Merry and Pippin reunite, extremely emotionally, and reconnect with Frodo and Sam as well

By which I mean, Pippin spots Merry and practically falls out of Haldir’s arms onto badly-chewed legs to try and get to him, while Faramir shouts hoarsely for Haldir to let him go. Which, incidentally, causes several people to look quite favourably on him

Boromir leads his father’s armies north towards the border as well, hearing reports that his captured brother truly is a prisoner among an elven army, and believing reluctantly and guiltily that Pippin truly has let Faramir be captured in vengeance for his slavery in Gondor

Pippin adamantly defending at the least Faramir and Boromir to the Council forces, and the ordinary Gondorian people as well, because he has friends among them and they’re good people, and Saruman is manipulating people left right and centre, and you cannot go to war with innocent people because of one asshole

The Council (and Faramir) being a bit amazed at his vehemence, given the evidence (and Faramir’s guilty admittance) of how badly he was treated

Gandalf knowing that it’s because once a hobbit decides he likes you, there is no force in Middle Earth that can persuade said hobbit otherwise, though there needs to be cause in the first place to earn their loyalty

Pippin panicking at the thought of war and cooking up a half-baked scheme to run back south and try and head Boromir off, explain the truth to him somehow. Merry joins him, because they’re not being parted again, and Merry knows all about going off half-cocked to protect your humans by now. Frodo and Sam follow because sod it. It is the worst ‘escape’ attempt in the history of hobbitdom, not least because Pippin himself can still barely walk, and in the end it’s Eowyn who scoops them up and masterminds an actual exit for them all

Eowyn is coming, because a) it’s the absolute least she feels she owes Merry, b) hobbits are extremely prone to getting themselves almost killed in her experience, c) she’s been warming up to what she’s seen of Faramir in his captivity/guesthood and doesn’t want him hurt, and d) if Boromir so much as looks funny at those she’s pledged her personal loyalty to she’s going rearrange his spleen for him

Gandalf knows full well what they’re doing but lets them go, because there’s no one better for stopping wars than hobbits, given motivation

Elrond possibly also knows what they’re doing, but is willing to let them try

Faramir is absolutely horrified and terrified that Boromir is going to feel he has to kill or harm them, and that after everything Pippin’s death is still going to be his fault

Theoden and Eomer are also horrified, and if your brother harms a hair on Eowyn’s head, my son, you are going to be in deep shit. But, also, not your fault. Hobbits do this. Trust us, we’d know better than almost anyone

The hobbits and Eowyn are … not exactly captured by the Gondorian army after basically planting themselves stubbornly in their path, but they’re brought to Boromir under guard and not exactly friendly circumstances

Boromir has no idea how to feel about Pippin, angry or betrayed or frantic or guilty, and it’s so much worse seeing him among his own people, with Merry in particular, who Boromir knows Pippin spent all his time with them hoping wasn’t dead. But Pippin led to the capture and possible death of Boromir’s brother, and even if it’s their own fault, Boromir cannot forgive him that

It goes badly, it goes so badly, with shouting and violence and threats from all corners, until Pippin in a fit of tearful frustration rips one of his trouser legs off to show Boromir his wounds. Neither elves nor men leave teeth-marks when they hurt people. The orcs did this. Saruman did this. Boromir knows this. He’s always known it. Yes, Faramir is a prisoner of the northern forces, but they’re not the real enemy, doesn’t he know that, can’t he see it? You can’t let this happen, Boromir. You can’t.

And Boromir does know it. He knew it from the moment Saruman offered him a slave as a welcoming gift, and the moment his father not only allowed it but welcomed it. He’s known from the beginning that there was something rotten in the state of Denmark, but it was his kingdom, his father, what would they have him do? To treat with them would be treason, even to save his brother’s life. Beregond, back in Minas Tirith, is already imprisoned for what was believed to be his role in letting Pippin take Faramir. He is sentenced to death upon Boromir’s return

This nearly kills Pippin to hear. It nearly snaps him in two

Eowyn saves them. Again. She knows, she does know how Boromir feels. She knows what it is to have a father/father figure lost to Saruman’s control. She knows what it is to betray them to save them. But they cannot let this go on. To fight on Denethor’s behalf would only be to betray him in truth, and leave him, and his people behind him, enslaved to the wizard’s will. From what she has seen of his brother and him, surely they have more courage and honour than that?

And, in the end, no more than his brother, Boromir cannot ignore his conscience long. Not even for family. Not even for the father he loves.

Boromir agrees to travel with the group and a small honour guard north to meet with the Council forces, leaving his armies waiting under trusted commanders between Minas Tirith and any northern forces should he be betrayed and not return

They meet near the Falls of Rauros, because of course they do, where else would I have them meet?

Boromir reunites with his brother and, though hardened and guilty and suspicious of all around them, they meet in earnest with the Council to discuss evidence of Saruman’s treachery and the appropriate responses thereto

The bulk of the arrayed northern armies will turn towards Isengard, to destroy Saruman and his orcs once and for all

Theoden and Rohan will stand the bulwark between all forces, maintaining the peace until the threat is removed one way or the other. They have suffered under Saruman’s thrall. Of all nations represented, they will not bend to his manipulations again

Gandalf initially meant to go to Isengard as well, to guard their forces against Saruman’s magic, and to make Saruman answer for what he has done. However, another mission comes up concurrently which he believes requires him more, so he leaves Saruman to the justice of Elrond and Galadriel, in order to shepherd …

… four certain hobbits, two heirs to Gondor, one heir to Rohan, and perhaps a certain Hunters Three to Minas Tirith, because Beregond is sentenced to death, and Pippin will actually die before he lets that happen, and Merry and Faramir in particular will die before they let that happen, and everyone else is perforce along for the ride

And maybe, if they can, they might save Denethor from Saruman’s influence along the way

Also, possibly reveal and crown a new/old king along the way (hi Strider!), to draw Gondor forward from the pall of treachery and manipulation it has fallen to. Though for his own part, Aragorn sees little wrong with the heirs Gondor already has

… Yeah. I’ve not had this stewing in my brain for a literal decade, not at all. Can you tell which canon storylines bashed their way all the way inside my heart, way back when? Heh. It’s too big and unwieldy inside my head to ever be written at this stage, and I’m very, very particular when it comes to slavery in fics, but … I do sometimes wish I had the stamina for it. I really, really do.

(Who am I kidding, I never had the stamina for this, but a girl can dream)

[meditationadvise]

To Unite Against Our Oppressors We Must Agree on our Desire to be Free

I've never ever seen a battle like it. Here I am, attempting to rest as cost-free as I can in my very own space, enjoying the war of belief and also info reach unmatched elevations:

Left vs right.

Alternative vs mainstream.

Independent vs corporate.

Women vs men.

Non-gender vs gender.

Religion vs atheism.

Materialism vs idealism.

External vs internal magic.

Precious metals vs cryptos.

Pro-vaccine vs anti-vaccine.

Pharmaceuticals vs all-natural medicines.

Part-deep-state vs other-part-deep-state.

Nationalists vs globalists.

Oligarchs vs populists.

Anarchists vs statists.

The list goes on.

Now certainly a number of these battles have actually been taking place since our very perception, however it really has concerned a factor where it is all so accentuated that we are filled in numerous sub-battles too. To cite one example, anarchists want zero government yet after that there are the minarchists that desire very limited government.

Now, I'm not saying we should not support what we most reverberate with, nor am I knocking this procedure since it is all simply part of a grander cycle, but I should confess I'm let down that numerous purportedly 'mindful' individuals allow themselves to get fully drawn right into it without recognising as well as appreciating the better goal of weakening the divide and also dominate strategy.

Simply, we should accomplish some kind of unification so we could in fact bring sovereignty, reality, justice and honour back to our world. There's just no refuting it, it's absolutely important for us to removal forward.

As I have actually been stating for some time now, if we produce a mechanism or agreement for uniting those that recognize the centerpiece, which is fairly undoubtedly ‘control vs freedom', after that it would help our cause to elevations never ever prior to seen.

That's not to claim that we shouldn't stand up, for example, versus the pharmaceutical-medico facility and their destruction of true health and wellness management as well as the suppression of sacred medicines. Nor am I saying that we shouldn't have locations that we personally spend a lot more energy in, such as releasing marijuana for health and also various other uses.

What I am claiming is that if the numerous thousands, otherwise numerous individuals that 'purposely' value liberty over oppression could simply place the smaller things sideways for a moment and also hold higher respect for the collective power we have, after that all the various other nuances could be professionally disputed as well as solved as the future unfolds.

Essentially, we have to repossess our power first prior to we understand precisely just what we should finish with it.

How can this be done? Well, I've advanced a proposition prior to however that's close to the point. I don't care just how it's accomplished, yet for today very couple of individuals, including independent researchers and also speakers, are even troubling to discuss it.

I do not care if it's as easy as "we concur that going after individual and area sovereignty is extremely important for producing an ethical future for humanity”.

Just imagine if countless individuals sustained that statement by sharing it with their networks and discussing it with their household and also pals. Make indisputable, at the very least half of the populace would not also understand what it implies, so it's at the very least a driver for aiding them to. The ironic thing is that most individuals think they're cost-free, however they're not. We're all based on the refined yet sophisticated enslavement of financial obligation, company legislation as well as belief, so the previous declaration will at the least help even more people comprehend how the system is really being run.

In any kind of situation, it's one reason why I've been relatively peaceful this year. It's been confusing for me, as I'm certain it has for a lot of us. Provided, I have been busy expanding natural food, obtaining even more entailed with my local community, finishing my book as well as taking care of my family members and also myself, yet I haven't seen other angle to tackle all this mess with the exception of the one I have been promoting right here and as a guest in various interviews.

So, I've just viewed what's occurring, in some cases much less intensely than others, and also aimed to discover as long as I can without hardening my beliefs into convictions. Just just recently actually I had a collection of experiences that forced me to advance one of the inmost viewpoints I have, yet that just took place since I was OPEN to it happening.

I simply desire most of us valued our responsibility to transform our minds when we need to. Like actually, truly respect it. After all, it's been a bloody consistent process for everybody so I'm not exactly sure why we reach a point where we believe it will certainly not happen.

Admittedly, it's testing right now since we go to peak division, nevertheless that's about to transform. The flow of the cycle will proceed, which indicates that soon we'll discover it easier to agree even more and also deal with less with each other.

The shift from ‘us vs them' to ‘us' is coming right up.

Hope you're weathering crazy town healthy as well as good spirit.