#how does this make any sense

[erindizmo]

Courtesy the Nevada DMV website, observe the worst password requirements of all time.

[sarcastic-clapping]

LET YOUR DAD DIE: IT'S FINE IT'S FINE IT'S WHAT HE DID TO HIS DAD.

Lestat + Claudia: Patricide & The Cycles of Violence - INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE (2022) - Catherine Lacy, "Cut" (2019) / Anne Rice, "The Vampire Lestat" (1985) / Anne Rice, "Interview with the Vampire" (1976)

[sluttycinderella]

genuinely think dan just jumped at the first opportunity to make an apology video. this fucking theatre kid WISHES he had a legitimate reason to get up in front of his audience and emotionally manipulate them into forgiving him. he lives for the drama.

[thedreadvampy]

Losing my shit about this article in which a transphobic Tory was so busy panicking about existing in the vicinity of a Trans that she almost certainly misheard "jeans" as "penis" and decided that not only was this a problem with the other woman, but also that the world must be informed of this pressing danger.

"a trans woman! I had to stand directly behind her....I thought, 'this is going well', I'm handling The Situation fine'..."

translated: I saw a tall woman with broad shoulders. How would I get out of this alive? I thought. she has a PENIS. PENIS PENIS PENIS. through some force of PENIS I mean will I managed to PENIS behave normally towards her. My hands were PENIS PENIS PENIS shaking as I tried to dry them. summoning up all my PENIS courage I said 'dryer's crap innit'. she turned to me and said " yeah I'm just goiPENIS PENIS PENIS"

It's been a week and I'm still shaking. This proves trans women are the problem and I'm not weird. I'm fine. It's fine. If you think about it I'm the hero hePENIS!!!!!

very this

[teddybeartoji]

been thinking a lot abt fwb!gojo today.... this is his first time ever doing this kind of a thing btw. i do not think he sleeps around AT ALL. but with you, he just... you start off as very good friends but then it keeps escalating – you start sitting closer and closer, your thighs always touching as you lounge on the couch. his hands seem to always find your waist in public, your seem to be in his hair more and more. and the thing is... satoru isn't all that good at deciphering his own feelings. he isn't entirely sure what this is; the butterflies in his stomach whenever you laugh at his jokes, the warmth that spreads under his skin whenever he sees you bend over. it's weird. he doesn't know what to do.

so, when one night you inch closer with your hand on his thigh, he lets you. he welcomes you with open arms. you ask whether it's okay or not and he lets out a shaky yes, his cheeks burning with something new, his eyes low and heavy as he stares at your lips. you feel so good on top of him, your body flushes to his and he thinks about how perfect this is. how much he likes it. the night is like a wet dream for him, something he's always dreamed off but when you leave the bed and hop into the shower without giving him a kiss, he doesn't even know what the weight on his heart means. where it comes from. he doesn't ponder over it for too long though as you step outside the bathroom in a shirt way too big, his shirt. he watches you get dressed and hums when you joke about his bed hair. he thinks you look gorgeous. he doesn't ask for you to stay – if this is what you want, to leave without the desire to continue your adventures from the last night, then so be it. satoru wants you to be happy. you tell him it was good and that you'd like to, perhaps, do it again and he can taste you on his tongue when he says that he feels the same. satoru will take every crumb you'll give him with a smile on his face. he won't complain and he won't ask for more, not yet at least. for now, he'll be completely and utterly at your mercy, a lapdog for you to play with whenever you so desire to do. a selfless kind of love.

[egophiliac]

Just an idea

What about yuu with a paradox pokemon becuase of the whole thing about being from different worlds

ooh, I hadn't thought about that, but I like it! like, I think Grim fills the role of Yuu's pokemon (or vice-versa) (somehow) but I kind of love the idea that he's some kind of far-removed Paradox or alternate-timeline version of another pokemon or something. honestly, there would probably be a lot of theories about what exactly he is! mostly it involves throwing a lot of pokeballs at him and seeing what happens.

also just for fun I want to make him slightly more pokemon-proportioned:

(he would still have to be the one who actually battles though)

[sysig]

Ah, childhood memories (Patreon)

[sweetlullabyebye]

Charles' thing is that he wants to feel alive and that's part of the reason why he decided to never move on to the afterlife right? Meanwhile Edwin thinks Charles will move on and that he'll be alone again because 'he isn't good with people'.

But then when the Night Nurse shows up a second time Charles is ready to go wherever -including Hell- as long as Edwin shouldn't have to go back there, meanwhile Edwin refuses that they be split up, and both are okay with being sent together to the Lost and Found Department to be sorted out later as long as they're together-

[the-lonelybarricade]

Modern AU where Feyre and Rhys are next door neighbors. He's a good neighbor, too—takes out her trash bins for her, mows her front lawn whenever he cuts his own, shovels her drive in the winter, etc.

Except Rhys is secretly a crime boss. And when Feyre starts dating Tamlin, she's doesn't realize he's an undercover cop just trying to keep an eye on her friendly neighbor.

[stressedanime]

will solace being absolutely covered in freckles is so special to me because of how ppl sometimes refer to freckled skin as 'sun-kissed' and smth smth about how apollo really does love his kids and you can physically SEE it on wills skin and sjdkfnskflnjsk

[franeridart]

The Housecat Philosophy - Ep 68

Ep 00 || < Prev || Next >

Read ahead on Patreon || Catch up on Webtoon || support me on ko-fi~✨

[bitchslapblastoids]

Was thinking about how much of a normo I come across as irl, how I’ve felt a lil odd person out at their shows bc of being a bit older (29) and looking so aggressively normal, how generally confused people in my life would be if they knew about my d&p obsession, how thoroughly i mask weirder traits and essentially codeswitch to suit the mainstream, etc.

i feel kind of fish out of water when I imagine how all the people that populate my tumblr phandom ecosystem are likely presenting to the world irl (I.e. more visibly queer, counterculture, and so on). But then I think maybe the most visible phannies are the ones with the most curated, alt, deliberate daytoday lewks/style? So maybe what I’m picturing is off base? But then I’m also basing this off of what audiences look like in audience footage, m&gs, etc.

Sooooooo i would like to know… do you guys feel like you present as someone who may be Deeply Online and obsessed with two gay nerds from the internet? Or do you hide it and fly under the radar, masking as a total normy and living a double life?

(To clarify I don’t mean you’re like out and about wearing the fringes boob sweatshirt lol I more mean vibes and overall lewk yk?)

[flamingpudding]

Inherited Driving

A/N: Credits also to @escelia 💖 Thanks for helping flash out this idea even more!!

Bruce Wayne was going crazy about Gotham's newest rogue. He stared at the open case file, the reports were laid out all over the table. On the Batcomputer various images were displayed. Images from bent light posts, street sights that were found three blocks from their original position, buildings that were missing chunks of their walls, and even buildings that had distinct car-shaped holes.

Next to that various reports were open about hit-and-run cases. None appeared to be connected. All the victims appeared to be chosen at random, good or bad didn't matter. No connections. Mugger, Politicians, other rogues, or even his children when on patrol. And then there were also reports of apparently people going insane claiming they had seen a silver car come right at them but never hit them.

He looked at the reports of his children.

Jason complains about a drug deal busted by a car bursting in and nearly ruined it for him by knocking out the main targets before crashing through the opposite wall.

Tim claimed that the corrupted CEO he had been investigating both as Red Robin as well as Tim Drake-Wayne got run over on the open streets and was now hospitalized.

But the most absurd reports came from Dick and Duke.

Dick one night reported that a silver car barely missed him while out on patrol. Nothing strange so far. If his son hadn't reported that he was jumping over roofs when it happened.

And Duke? He just reported that he felt like he had a near-death experience and saw his life flashing before his eyes. The cause? A glowing car came straight at him.

Bruce gripped his hair in frustration. This new rogue didn't make sense. They went for bad guys but also good guys? What was their pattern? The connection? Their goal? Was he lucky that none of his other children had so far encountered them on patrol?

They appeared at night as well as during the day.

Who was going to be the next target? Would it be one of his kids or possibly another corrupted politician or maybe even a mugger again next?

Tim had specifically created software to keep track of this rogue in the news or any online posts. Barbara was not able to get any video feeds or photos of this rogue for some reason. All images or videos found for the areas of his appearance were either entirely static or corrupted to the point of unrecognizability. He didn't even have the damned silver car's license plate!

Then there was the car driver's description from witnesses, which also varied from person to person. One stated him to be black-haired and blue-eyed looking like a tired College Student, another stated the man had white hair and green glowing eyes and lastly a more crazy person stated it was like an Eldritch being possessing the car.

The software peeped and Bruce turned to click on it, a news article appeared and the man groaned at what he read.

Breaking news: Scarecrow in custody after getting hit by car through Starbucks!

Witnesses say that during what was shaping up to be a fear gas attack, the driver hit the man before swerving through the front window of a Starbucks.After confirming everyone was okay, the baristas on shift gave the driver an iced coffee and a croissant while waiting for the police to arrive on scene. One employee even insisted this reckless driver saved their lives. [...]

Bruce closed the news, not reading any further and ready to slam his head onto the table. Who was this rogue?

Danny blinked at the newspaper in his hand, sipping his coffee and wondering who that driver was. He would have to be more careful now on the streets with a driver like that, that's fine. Jazz wouldn't probably call him soon again to nag about these crazy drivers Gotham appeared to have. She had been naggingly worried ever since he started going to college here. He just had to assure her that he would be even more careful to not get involved. Though his parents had already reinforced his car as a stay-safe-son measure. So he would just have to get in the car, drive from point A to point B and not hit anyone or anything like his parents.

He glanced at his kitchen clock and spat out his morning coffee.

"Shit! I am going to be late for my classes!"

In a rush he grabed his keys and ran to his car. He needed to hurry if he wanted to be there in time without upsetting his professor. Good that he learned about some pretty neat short cuts from his classmates.

[crimeronan]

i downloaded that app that lets you customize your own soundscapes because i was like well this probably still won't be for me but i'll try it out just to see. first i set up a cafe with loud babble so i could eavesdrop on the table next to me, but there was only about 2 minutes of recorded audio. so once i memorized the conversation, i moved on to an irish coastal seascape, where i discovered that you can set the sliders to "drowning in the open ocean." that legitimately relaxed me so much that my headache went away but after about 20 minutes my brain adapted enough for the Voices (TM) to return, so i turned to a thunderstorm where all the thunder sliders were turned up to 100% power. so you feel like you're in the middle of bullshit tornado country. after all this i discovered there's a haunted mansion soundscape already so. i guess i'll get some mileage out of this thing yeah.

[blueskittlesart]

deeply refreshing to see someone critical of Swift who also like, genuinely likes her. Like i'm neutral to positive on her, but the online discourse has been absolutely rancid. flipping between "Taylor Swift has never done anything wrong ever and she's a fucking genius" and "Taylor Swift is the worst lyricist of all time and also a bad person" is exhausting, so thank you for like. nuance or something lmao

not to make it serious for a sec but i genuinely think that being able to like things that are bad is really important. like I think that it's an important skill to be able to look at something and see what you personally enjoy about it and then take a step back and acknowledge that objectively it's flawed. and to also be able to acknowledge that liking something isn't necessarily an identity or a moral stance. and i think that fandom space in general could really benefit from more people taking the time to learn how to do that. it's okay to like things that are bad

[quadrantadvisor]

Alright new Jason Todd headcanons in a dpxdc setting:

Danny is a "liminal" ghost, rather than a "half" ghost. He's alive and dead at the same time. (He's like Jesus Christ (in the church denomination I grew up in), fully ghost and fully human.) Danny, in human form, can go through a ghost shield, because he IS a living human.

Jason, however, is a reanimated corpse. He isn't a ghost, wouldn't have a ghost core, etc, he has a normal human system that runs ON ectoplasm. Jason CANNOT go through a ghost shield, because he is always an ectoplasmic entity. Danny can go through the Fenton Ghost Catcher and be split into a ghost and a human; if Jason went through the ghost catcher, he would straight up die.

(For my purposes I'm gonna say that Jason became an ectoplasmic entity upon his resurrection, but wasn't very stable. Dunking in the Lazarus pit stabilized his system but also poisoned his ectoplasm.)

I do think that Jason could learn certain ghost abilities if he learned to harness his ectoplasm, especially if they detoxed him off the Lazarus waters. He's probably already enhancing his stealth and strength in ways he hasn't really noticed. I think he's held back by the amount of physical matter he's lugging around, so maybe he couldn't fly, but I'm imagining temporary invisibility, or intagibility of like, a limb at a time. Maybe he can't walk through walls, but in a fight he can dodge by instinctively making the targeted part of his body intangible.