#how does someone as cheesy as him turn into such a beast in battle

[diremoone]

It’s amazing how this little shit

turned into this motherfucker

[leviathanleva]

Cujo

Pairing: Simon 'Ghost' Riley x Supersoldier!FemReader

Description: A monster in human skin, a weapon disguised as a person, no thoughts, no emotion, as per design. He despises you and everything you stand for. He’s tried to kick you out of his squad and failed, he’s made it his mission to break you no matter the cost.

It comes as a surprise when he asks you to lie and say you love him.

[5.5k words]

[Angst, Power Play, Light Degradation, 18+]

Chapter 1 "Raspberry Tart"

Hound.

A fitting callsign for a dog that only knew how to follow orders. A mindless beast whose chain had been thrust into his hands forcibly and now he was to be your navigator, your Northern star in a sea of black. He’d have had no problem taking you under his wing, but you weren’t just some rookie in need of training. He couldn’t crack a cheesy joke and make you snicker, couldn’t relate to you in any way, couldn’t find common ground to start a conversation.

He’d tried to break you, poking at the squishy unknown beyond the stone exterior in the hopes that there was something still there.  It was incomprehensible, you were a living contradiction to the natural order, an anomaly made reality by nameless, faceless, suited figures scrambling for power and drowning with money. He was a stoic man, cold-blooded, ignorant of his trauma, and suppressive of any flicker of tenderness that tried to wiggle out. He was trained in the heat of battle, under the rain of bullets and among the hills of corpses. He taught himself to withstand anything thrown his way. You, on the other hand, had nothing to withstand. You weren’t stoic or calculative or cold.

You were indifferent.

It irked him.

Late at night, when he was left to his thoughts, he wondered what they had done to you.

What chemical turned a human’s sclera black and devoid the iris of color? What concoction was fused into your blood to make your muscles grow so dense you could punch through walls, at will? How could you pick up the heartbeats of enemy forces without even entering their headquarters? How did you see in the dark without any gear save for a peculiar oxygen mask?

What sort of poison had been pumped into you? Had it hurt? Does it hurt now?

You were a macabre sigh.

You don’t look healthy; gaunt features sharp enough to cut glass and dead eyes that burrowed into his soul. There were no bags under your eyes, you slept well at least, perfect for someone whose hands reeked of blood. The fat was barely any, it was impossible to retain the supple softness of femininity with your condition, and if it wasn’t for the perky tits showing beneath your loose tee he could have easily mistaken you for a scrawny man. A paradox; porcelain skin devoid of scars blanketing over a heap of muscle that could tear limbs like they were loose threads.

You’d been a pretty thing once, before the augmentations. He could tell.

You barely reached his collarbone and yet you could take a grenade head-on and live unlike him. And you had, for him. He’d nearly lost his mind when you had, tucked you into his chest because he’d lost too many good men already and you were fresh in his squad and dying under his care. A bleak moment of weakness on his end that he’d believed you’d have no recollection of because half your fucking face was missing. But then the flesh had crept back onto your exposed cheekbone and he’d pushed you away as quickly as he’d hugged you. His mask did well to hide both horror and bewilderment. It had taken you under two minutes and you were ready to go again.

He’d thought your files were a joke, had read them absentmindedly over a glass of bourbon then tossed them aside and waited for the actual reports. They weren’t a joke at all.

You were his shield. It’s been a year since you joined Task Force 141 and you had taken so much damage in his stead it was mindboggling still. There was no fear, no hesitation, no doubt, or rebellion; you simply sprawled yourself over him like a ballistic shield, soaking in anything lethal coming his way. It was a heartwrenching scene, but how could he feel empathy when he’d seen you rip people apart.

You were his weapon, a leal monster, ready to pounce at the flick of his wrist. But your loyalties to him were temporary, shallow compared to the ones you held for your torturers, your makers. He hadn’t expected you to abandon Gaz to fend off the enemy alone when you’d heard a vocalization of the target’s whereabouts over the coms. On that deployment, Ghost had learned that you held no value for human life, you cared not for the well-being of your teammates. Mission first, success at any cost.

After that display, he’d spend hours arguing with Price while trying to find a loophole that would let him kick you out of the squad. A seemingly endless exchange of words led to nothing, the Captain had taken a few long phone calls, all fruitless aside from some measly promises to instruct you better. You’d been summoned shortly after and the phone had been passed onto you because the bastards couldn’t even be bothered to correct your ways face to face.

“Protect all your teammates at all costs, not just the Lieutenant.”

“Do not abandon a comrade.”

“Your squad comes before your target.”

Simon had nearly missed the last sentence; it had been whispered so lowly over the line.

“Unless the target is within direct line of sight.”

He was left seething. He didn’t want you here. He’d tried again, stating more facts, adding more blood and bone-chilling scenarios to the list of reasons why you needed to be transferred, to no avail. He’d been hit with a stygian truth after. Either Task Force 141 or some blokes from KorTac, there were no other organizations that would take you in without downright exploiting your capabilities.

Judging by what little he knew about you, you wouldn’t care, but he would. He’d be caught dead before letting you walk into those war criminals’ grimy paws and have them lock your attention on him as your next target. No. You were his weapon, his shield, his hound; if anyone was going to lead you into a massacre, it would be him.

His charge, his responsibility.

His pet.

He’d settled after that, begrudgingly letting you stay.

And it wasn’t all bad. Over time he grew accustomed to your presence, you’d eat together, train together, sit together in some forgotten corner of the base and enjoy a moment of silence. Ghost was an intimidating man, both rank and appearance kept most people out of his way, but with you constantly on his heel and your docile nature out of combat, he grew fond of your companionship. Some days he forgot you were even there, skulking in his shadow.

Rarely did you speak without being spoken to, never whined or complained. It was as refreshing as it was disturbing. He dealt with it for the most part, but sometimes he couldn’t. Sometimes he wanted to see you shatter, find a crack in the masquerade for the sake of his own sanity. He needed you to crumble, to find a way to break you because then he would have some sort of reason to cling to. Some vague explanation for the turmoil you caused inside him without even meaning to.

He was torn between hating you with everything he had, leaving you be and retaining the fickle peace between the two of you, and obsessively delving into your being in search of some long-forgotten spec of humanity that yet lived.

It was becoming a problem.

Finally, he snaps out of his morning sulking and remembers he has a cup of black tea secured in his hand. He bunches up the skull mask on his nose and takes a candid sip, then grimaces.

“It’s cold.”

A soft remark muffled behind a mouthful of buttered toast. His eyes trail up, tired and distant, to find yours studying him like he was an intel chart.

You spare his drink a glimpse, offering wordlessly, then lick the grease off your thumb and let your fork rest against the leftover scrambled eggs on your plate.

“Want me to reheat it, Lieutenant?”

He hadn’t even noticed when you’d gotten up for a second serving, the only indicator being the stained empty tray lying next to your current one. You ate a lot, had to in order to regain the energy you exerted during missions, at least that’s how he understood it. A part of him hoped it would stick, add some more curvature to your form, show him there was still an ounce of normalcy in your existence, at least physically, but it never did.

“You can heat shit too now?” the rasp in his voice is still heavy with sleep. He’s drained and bitter after another night of nothing but restless tossing and he’s poking fun at you as strain relief.

And as usual, it flies right over your head.

“No. I meant in the microwave.” you motion past your shoulder, pointing at the cutlery set up in the back of the mess hall. When he remains silent you extend an arm towards the mug, palm spread out and waiting. “I don’t mind.”

Of course you don’t, you’re a good mutt. The demeaning slew nearly succeeds in slipping past his lips, he snuffs it out with more stale tea.

“Nah.” he turns down your offer and tucks the mug closer to his body. “ ‘S fine.”

“Pyrokinesis is preposterous.” you say, cooly, addressing his previous snark after a beat or two.

It pinches a nerve.

It’s not meant as a jab at his intelligence, just a fact based on your experiences with human experimentation. It’s never a joke or a cocky scoff or anything that would allude to a personality.

“You’re bloody preposterous.” he barks back and his eyes crease in distaste.

The wannabe super soldier telling him what was and wasn’t possible was not on his tolerance list for the day.

There’s a pause, one which he doesn’t appreciate as you’re stripping him bare without consent or clemency. Your stare is degrading, has been since day one, and you’ve no interest in privacy or personal space. The only reason you keep everyone at arm’s length is to minimize any possibility of injuring your subordinates, as instructed by your shadowy puppeteers. Each action, word, and thought from you seems normal at surface level, human, until one understands the reasoning behind it. Everything about you is twisted, it’s creeping up on him, warping his reality.

You’re prying through a blank visage, no remorse, chipping away at his persona and feigning concern.

It’s sickening, it feels so real.

“You’re snippy again.” you note, mow down the rest of your breakfast, and push away the food tray. “You’ve not slept. Again.” it was a statement rather than a question. Your hands clasp together, fingers intertwining as you abandon your hunched-over pose and adjust to a professional stance. “Have you considered – ”

Your maternal tattle is cut short when a phone is thrust into your face. You blink a few times as the image registers:

A puppy. A Labrador puppy all fluffy and adorable stares back at you from the screen.

You look up unamused, letting Soap’s smug grin beam down on you, a ray of sunshine on such a rainy morning. He’s a chipper one, carries both your apathy and Ghost’s grimness on his shoulders like it’s nothing.

“No?” the smile dies on his face and his subtle crow’s feet disappear.

“No.” you answer with a small shake to your head and earn a scoff. “It’s just a dog.”

“Fucking hell, Hound.” he slumps on the uncomfortable metal bench next to Ghost, swiping at his phone before tucking it in his pocket. The pout lasts a few seconds as he rubs a hand over his stubble. “I’ll find yer weak spot one day. Mark my words.” then he turns to the hulking mountain of a man beside him. “Mornin’, Lt.”

John MacTavish had taken a liking to you early on, shining antipodal to the rest of Task Force 141. He’d made it his goal to work a smile out of you and it had begun with dad jokes, then evolved to funny videos, now it was cute animals.

It was a doomed cause, but also none of your business. How he spent his free time was not your concern so you went along with it as long as it didn’t involve you actively participating.

“Mornin’, Johnny.”

“You’re a dedicated man, Sergeant.” you offer simple words and snap your mouth shut before they degenerate into anything derogatory.

“Unlike yourself.”

The cafeteria was lively with soldiers seeking a strong coffee and a hearty breakfast. The cacophony of chatter kept your hearing busy, your senses were dulled, you were relaxed, but you weren’t deaf. You didn’t miss the Lieutenant’s cynical nip.

The ambiance has slowly turned hostile, he’s extra cranky. You pinpoint it to his silent dwelling earlier and leave it t your tongue to resolve the matter before it escalates.

“You’re displeased with me today.” you lean back and let your hands glide off the table, resting them in your lap and appearing smaller. A subtle change, but one you’d learned he fancied; being smaller than him gave him more authority room and indulged his masculine pride. “Have I done something wrong, Lieutenant?”

He likes to stay high on a power trip and humiliate you, keeps your leash secure and short as if governing over you is a boast.

“Don’t like you in general.” casual, passive; he’s peeking at you from beneath light brown lashes. “Think we already established that.”

It’s always a step forward and a thousand back. He’ll be approachable one day, open to discussions on many topics, which are more monologues than dialogues. Then the frail serenity will snap and he’ll want to crawl out of his skin by simply being in your presence. You knew little of his internal wars, knew better than to carve a seat to a psychological bloodbath with no predetermined outcome. But it was confusing, he bore too many burdens and he was making it your problem.

You took bullets for him, would endure anything for him, you’d walk into a minefield if he so wished. You obeyed without question, proven your loyalty yet he refused to change his outlook and continued to treat you with as little fairness as possible.

He was a reject yet he judged you for your difference to the rest of his men. A hypocrite. How unnecessarily…bothersome.

He speaks with subtle malice, yet his body plays a different tune and you run your mouth before thinking. There is no backbone to his passive aggression.

“You lie.” 

Maybe it wasn’t the best idea to humble your higher-up in a public setting, especially in front of his most trusted subordinate. However, you cared little for social norms and interaction standards.

He’s mustering a counterattack, as cold and as fowl as his tea, but it never leaves the confines of his skull mask because you continue to yap.

“A truthful man does not sweat. His pupils don’t shrink.”

The stab is made worse by the lack of satisfaction in your voice. You’re indifferent that you’ve caught him in his untruthfulness and it serves to twist the knife deeper.

The least you could do is show him grace by reciprocating his hatred with your own, but you don’t.

You don’t care.

Fuck you.

Ghost rises with the intent to leave, doesn’t spare you another glance, only stares straight ahead, past the crown of your head, and towards the exit.

A year, a whole year since you were assigned to him and still you were a dense twat with not a drop of regard for anyone, not even yourself. It was infuriating how stuck in your ways you were, he’d tried to rupture a change and the results were null. He’s fed up.

You’re a lost cause and his nerves are stretched thin, he’s inclined to simply avoid you today.

“Lt, wait.”

Soap, always the buffer to your scuffle, the voice of reason, but there’s nothing to cushion this time. The cord’s been cut, Simon’s let go of you for the moment and he’s in need of some good alone time to properly simmer down.

He’s stuffed his hands in his jeans, thumbs sticking out and glossing over the stitching. He doesn’t turn back when he offers a response.

“Appetite’s gone.”

If he was any shorter, he would have disappeared in the sea of soldiers, but he’s too easily distinguishable for such mercies. His steps are thunderous, you’ve committed the beat of his stride to memory. He was your highest priority on the battlefield, everything about him has been burned into your mind and it’s left a mark in your day-to-day. He could be on the other side of the base and you’d find him with a blindfold on.

A good soldier, the best. Why couldn’t he appreciate that?

You watch him unblinking as he rounds the corner and disappears out of sight.

An exasperated grunt makes your head reel back.

“Life of the party as always, Hound.” Soap snips, disappointment dripping past his teeth. It’s a gentle scold, as a big brother would his younger sibling after they’ve misbehaved.

“He lied.” you retort and your expression hardens in self-defense. “He wouldn’t be upset if he hadn’t lied. Why did he lie?”

“Ask em yourself, you blind eejit.”

The gravity of his words doesn’t register until they slip out.

There’s no stopping you now, there’s a goal set in front of you. He’s almost stirred enough to stop you, but a meek nag in the back of his head prevents him. Maybe it’s for the best that you talk it out and snuff out the fire before it has a chance to grow. He pities Ghost in a way. Of all the people he could have…

You secure the abandoned mug of tea and are already trailing after the Lieutenant.

“Oh, here we fucking go…” John is left with his cheek resting in his hand and scouring the mess hall for a livelier company to lighten his morning break.

You follow him by scent alone – a pleasing musk that characterized him well aside from the cologne. You maneuver around the horde of military personnel, washed out in a cluster of camo and rugged limbs. The rain has only worsened, battering against the row of windows gracing the corridor, you can almost smell it through the glass. It’s a lovely aroma, but Ghost’s is favored and it guides you through the limbo of concrete, up a few flights of stairs until you understand you’re heading towards his office.

He’s a good man, the Lieutenant, a wonderful man – stern and fair, caring in his unique decrepit way. So why does he insist on treating you like a disgruntled mentor?

If he’s feeling generous, you’ll find out soon enough.

You let yourself in absentmindedly, barge in like the inelegant brute you are and if there had been a conversation bubbling beyond the door it would have rattled you back to cognitive thinking. But the silence had only welcomed you.

He’s sat behind his desk, looming over sparse documents that are of no interest to you, a cigarette languidly burning in the ashtray next to his elbow, smoke sucked out by the ajar window.

His eyes lift at your intrusion.

The fucking audac –

“Why did you lie?”

Straight to the point as usual. No wordplay, no gentle gestures to picture a power imbalance and ease him into it. He’s your superior and you’re supposed to show respect. Tough luck when you forget that little detail.

“Didn’t give you permission to enter.” he watches the sentence seep in as you set his tea at the edge of his desk, mulling.

Without a word, you walk out as whimsically as you’d entered, tiny body made gangly by the white lights illuminating the hallway. The door closes with a creamy click and despite his irritation, he snorts.

A beat of nothingness before three curt knocks sound, it’s comical. You’re a God damn clown.

“Enter.”

You walk in and clear your throat and that blank expression never falters. With legs spread wide and steady, you clasp your wrist behind your back, nose brought high to expose your neck, spine straight and stretched like a violin string.

“Permission to speak, Lieutenant.”

He has the spite to deny your request, cut your escapade short and shoo you away.

“Granted.” he says instead.

The clock above your head ticks and soothes the stale silence, that and the storm outside. The lights are off, the blinds hold back the scant sunlight overshadowed by an ocean of clouds. The only lamp alive is the one on his desk, deep yellow and warm, casting grim shadows over the skin-tight skull mask. The pen hoisted between thick, battle-worn fingers is still.

He’s waiting, watching you like a prowling predator, chin dipped low and eyes half-hidden behind the ridges of his eyebrows.

“Why did you lie?” you repeat with less zest and your shoulders slack a tad.

You’re the best person to share with openly, would take his confessions to the grave, and have no reason nor will for judgment. All he needed to do was ask for you to never mention this to anyone and you could be tortured to death and not budge. It was so simple, you were simple, ranks be damned, you were here for him.

Though Ghost was anything but one-dimensional. He was a complicated individual with a rich past, he was comfortable trusting you with his life, not his secrets.

He steers away from your question and offers a crappy tease instead.

“Fishing for a Psychology degree, Cadet?”

“That’s not a proper answer.” you’re bullet fast to voice your displeasure with his evasiveness. Your paper-white gaze holds his honeydew brown one, displaying openness and hoping for reciprocation.

“And I’ve taught you proper interrogation.” he spits back with growing mock, taut in his chair, muscles solid and ready.

He fights a war not of the physical world, a solitary brawl, in which you refuse to participate. There is no point in such self-induced struggles; the debate of the heart and mind is a phenomenon known to all and it can be a slippery slope. Hence it had been chemically removed from your system.

At least you can see it bothers him, whatever it is he’s musing over. You’d offer advice, you’d help if he let you dip your toes in the problem, but he was too stubborn.

You fail to understand that you’re the problem.

“You’re avoiding the question.” dry and bland, a boring fact both of you have come to acknowledge.

“I don’t need to answer your fucking question.” the pen and papers are pushed to the side as his attention is fully directed towards you. He readjusts and even while sitting down he seems larger than you. “Mind your bloody tone with me, Dog.”

You startle at that, tighten like a board and your expression falters for a second. It’s not his sharpness that shakes your awareness awake, it’s your behavior – obtrusive and insolent, insulting him with nonchalance unacceptable for a soldier of your rank when conversing with a superior. Your nails dig into the fluff of your palm to ground you, and your knee trembles with the barely repressed need to bend and dig into the floor.

It’s a fleeting sight, but he sees you stagger. An alien sensation coils in his stomach.

Finally.

Finally…

A glint of normalcy is peeking beneath the crooked façade. You’re brooding, maybe even experiencing something, branching out from the year-long unbreakable apathy.

“I apologize, Lieutenant.” you yield, backtracking until you settle into a less casual mindset. “I’ve no right requesting any information of you.”

“Damn straight you don’t.” he sinks his teeth in the opportunity, strangely eager to coax a more prominent reaction out of you, obsessive even. Speaks to you with a demeaning twinge, egged on by the split second in which your brows dip. “Forgot your place.”

His tone is biting, but his movements are fluent as he stands and rounds his desk to approach you. He towers over you unapologetically and you’re left staring at the center of his collarbones, avoiding his eyes as a sliver of respect.

He clips your chin between two calloused fingers, burdens you with a look of contemplation as he debates an idea.

“Open.” he commands and you oblige.

Your jaw lowers as your lips part without an ounce of hesitation. The hairs on his arms rise in anticipation, concealed beneath the course military blouse.

His thumb travels up, past the dimple of your chin, and over your plush bottom lip. His skin grazes your bottom teeth before he presses down on your tongue.

“Suck.”

Your lips curl around his salty digit, tasting the smoky cigarette he’d mouthed a few minutes prior. His concentration wanes, his pupils expand briskly before he catches himself softening. He pushes on the roof of your mouth to guide your vision to lock onto him.

Your rhythmic suckling sparks a warmth low in his abdomen. A dull aching pulse licks deliciously at his loins and he sinks his canines into the side of his cheek to snap out of it. He can’t afford this, not with you, you don’t deserve to witness tenderness when you have none to offer in return. So he remains an explorer and keeps pushing boundaries if not to see you uncomfortable, then for his own curiosity.

“You do as I say, when I say.” he rumbles a guttural reminder of your place, then slips his thumb out of your slithery hold and takes a step back. “On your knees.”

Your legs fold in an instant, knees digging into the tiled floor with a deaf thump. You’re face to face with his crotch and a sickening thought passes by him that makes his thighs clench.

Pushing boundaries, that’s all this was. Nothing more.

He rests a hand on the hem of his jeans and fiddles his zipper, alluding to actions he didn’t intend to follow through with. A somber attempt at making you react, but you don’t. There’s not even an involuntary twitch of a muscle – you’re still as a statue and just as emotionless.

He’s stuck between pondering if you’ve called his bluff or you’re simply passive to the idea. Either way, what he’s hinting at is vile and you being this pliant is unnerving.

“Jesus fucking Christ, you’re just gonna let me…” he trails off and swallows the bile rising in his throat.

What if you were left in the hands of a less gracious leader? What if some fucked up bastard had gotten a hold of you before him? What if he’d succeeded in kicking you out and you ended up in KorTac…?

What would they have done to you?

What if –

“ – I do as you say, when you say, Lieutenant.”

He snarls at that. Grabs a fistful of your top and boosts you to your feet. The tips of your boots are barely touching the ground and he’s lurched over you, so close that you’re overwhelmed by his breath.

Toothpaste, cigarettes, a feint hint of bourbon from the night before.

You inhale slowly, too comfortable in his grip and it makes no sense to him considering his treatment, then exhale audibly and speak again.

“Why does it bother you so much? My condition.”

“It’s not normal.” he gives you a solid jerk, emphasizing his words, spewing poison. “It’s shit. How am I supposed to trust you if you don’t give a flying fuck about me…or the team?”

“I would never let – ”

“ – Don’t gimme that crap.”

You’re an adaptive creature. You remember the intricacies of man despite no longer seeing any value in them. His frustration is evident, a spout of bio-chemicals thickens around him, from which adrenaline and oxytocin are the most prominent. He’s torn between protecting himself from you and protecting you from the rest of the world. And at the end of the day, he’s only human and has spent too much time with you, a member of the opposite sex, to be unaffected by your presence.

You do the first thing that comes to mind. A short-circuited move in the name of self-preservation while also not causing him any harm as per your orders.

You kiss him. Inch close while he’s in a haze of despicable turmoil and press your lips where his would be hidden behind the mask.

His lethal tantrum ceases.

He’s stunted, shaken to the bone as he stares right through you. His eyes are bulging, accentuated by the charcoal face paint. His whole body is pulsing, you hear his heartbeat, steady but clamorously loud in your ear, then he cocks his head to the side and you begin to question if your choice of action had only worsened his state.

“I’m sorry.” you blurt. “I misread you, I didn’t – ”

He’s clawing at his mask until it catches on his nose and graces you with a strong jaw littered with nearly blond stubble. You bite your tongue before more words spill and risk shattering the desperate trance he’s succumbed to.

He devours your mouth with a hoarse grunt, the force causing your neck to crane back. The large hand holding you in place vanishes shortly before he starts pawing at your hips, clutching at the firm flesh and then seeking refuge in the dip of your ass.

“Lieut – ” you suck in a breath when he hoists you up like you’re nothing and nudges your legs until they’re wrapped around his thick waist. Your ankles lock over the small of his back and you hold a steady grip on his collar as he shushes you with a husky “shut up”.

His stubble grazes and prickles as he reclaims your wet lips with bruising vigor.

The chain lies broken, his resolve has been torn to shreds after months of no reciprocation. He’s a starved man, too battered and scarred to seek his fix from a stranger. So he’s looked to you, an amalgamation of senseless strength and a hollow heart, an abyss devoid of feeling or emotion, the worst possible option, but in his mind – the only option.

Desperation blinds even the strongest of warriors.

With wobbly steps, he squishes you between the wall and himself, lets words flow without a single sound, and twirls his tongue around yours as you perfectly follow his shaky guidance. He sucks at whatever he can find, made mad with a craving for your essence despite never having tasted you before, slobbers you like a touch-starved dog.

Crushed into the warm safety of his body, in the darkness of his quarters, you're hidden from the world as he gingerly indulges his wants. Senses peaking from overdrive, you only hear, smell and feel him, a fleshy mountain carrying the scent of what you learn is home. What little exposed skin you find is scalding, he shudders while you unintentionally map out his shoulders in search of purchase.

He peppers heated pecks down your jaw with a resounding groan and finds the even pulse in your neck.

You jolt as his teeth encase the spot and he freezes.

“Want me to stop?”

His head is nestled in the crook of your neck, away from the possible judgment of your sight. His voice is low, a scratchy reverberation, strained with a need too great to be put out by his self-restraint alone. He’s a mess, oozing hormones, jittery and uncertain but too lost in his delight to retreat.

He’s slipped inadvertently and wound up vulnerable.

“No.”

He’s satisfied with your answer only for a moment before the nagging reality starts chewing at his gut. You aren’t normal. You’re not the typical bird he’d pick out in a bar after a particularly heavy mission and one too many glasses of scotch. You’re fucked up.

He doesn’t want to keep asking, wishes so direly to stay blind and dumb to the facts spitting acid in his face. But he’s too grounded for such fantastical blessings.

“Want me to keep going?” he looks up with a clenched jaw.

His breathing slows, preparing for a hit similar to a bullet to the chest, but there is no Kevlar to shield him from the devastation. He’s bare before you, at your mercy despite his stoic composure keeping him visibly untouchable. You should pity him, feel something because your situation hints at him being more than an ally or friend. You should muddle the truth or let him down delicately, he deserves as much.

He wanted you to want him. He didn’t want to be alone in his desires.

But you’re no liar, you’re not a gentle soul. You offer him a curt, tasteless answer.

You stare him straight in the eyes and shoot.

“No.”

It stings more than it should.

“I want for nothing.”

The fire in his belly is extinguished, it feels as if the blood is sucked out of his body. The stab leaves his pulsing cock flaccid with only a stain of precum smeared against his boxers as a reminder of the blossoming need you’d snuffed out mercilessly.

He holds your gaze as the spark in his shrunken orbs vanishes, then slowly sets you down and tears himself away with disgust; regretful and insulted.

“Get out…”

Chapter 2 >>>

Masterlist

[I'm a bit uncertain about this one. It's a niche idea, but it's been swimming in my head for some time now. Someday I'll be satisfied with my writing, but for now I'll settle for this. I'm not great at COD characters so if anyone seems OOC forgive me. I try my best, but I'm a rookie.]

[bubba-draws]

For the OC asks meme!

👪 – Venezuelan

🚆 – Ruk & Tari

🎭 – Uris

🎀 &🌪 for all the Starhunters if that's ok!

– Disembodied voice anon

Anon I love u (/platonic) but I want u to know that I went on a laughing fit bc I thought u thought I named my moth Venezuelan HAKDHSKFHSKFJDJFJ

👪 FAMILY - what is their family like? what is your ocs relationship to them? does your oc have any siblings?

Pre- Starhunters Veni used to live in a kingdom far away from Hallownest! They had a big family, mostly consistent of cousins and close uncles/aunts. He also had a twin brother, they loved each other very much! Practically glued to each other growing up.

He lost all of them after his kingdom was attacked and burned to the ground.

With the Starhunters she's like everyone's grandparent! Even with the oldest ones, a very loved leader

🚆 TRAIN - what is their answer to the trolley problem?

Uh, they don't care tbh HWKDHWKFNDNFN For Tari is get rid of just one person while Ruk is like "whichever ends up in more carnage" (he's on his edgy teen phase)

🎭 MASKS - do they act differently around certain people? what's different between the way they act around friends, family, strangers, etc.?

Oh Vris is like, very asshole- ish, especially with people who doesn't know him, always looking intimidating and not fearful of raising his voice. With the gang though? A total loser lmao, he's like your annoying older brother who will put you on a chokehold but also beat the hell out of anyone that annoys you

With his partners is a complete different change of attitude though! In the story I'm writing about my ocs they're not officially dating yet but he ends up in a relationship with Tigo (Tiger beetle) and Laki (damselfy), and while he's still a bit of his annoying self he's also such a sap, cheesy mf in private (he's also dating my friend's oc Oren @frolicinq in another timeline (?)) (pspspsps if someone wants to ship ocs pls do tell me I'm a sucker for oc ships)

🎀 RIBBON - how would they fit into other worlds / aus? what aus would you like to try out? what fictional world would they fit / not fit into?

I wanna play Bug Fables just for the fact I wanna make an au of them in that game too! As for other worlds/aus I haven't given it much thought, but in a human set au they would be like a gang of motorcyclists that set down in a community and are like, very intimidating to whoever dare threaten their friends/neighbors

📎 PAPERCLIP - a random fact.

Kram: Looks up to Vris a lot! Thinks he's the coolest guy ever (totally self adopts and turns Vris into his dad(?))

Sheepi: She's a blacksmith! Mostly focuses on weapon repairs, a big nerd about weapons and stuff!

Veni: Uses any pronouns! I mostly exchange they/he/she with them but anyone can use anything to refer to them. They wear charms, (Twin Soul) A reflection of the sibling they loved so much, a memory of their fighting abilities. It creates a sort of physical manifestation of soul that looks similar to a younger Veni, it fights alongside him. (Pleads of Hope) A charm born out of the bugs that died in the war that took Veni's kingdom, waiting for their Queen to save them, it grants them more energy when they're close to being defeated.

Minos: The gang's medic! Despite his intimidating looks he's not much of a fighter! A peaceful kind of guy

Tigo: They used to be more beastly before getting a mask, still got beast traits as they still hunt for food and annihilates them with their mandibles

Hachi: Is dating Ignis

Ignis: Is dating Hachi

Vris: Covers the tip of his tail because he doesn't want to accidentally poison anyone, doesn't even use it in battle unless it's a life or death situation

Ruk: Tries to act older than what he is, kinda sounds goofy when he does

Tari: She was a Stag from Hallownest, though her time outside the kingdom messed up with her memories so she cannot recall much of that time (when she goes back her memory starts to slowly coming back)

Laki: She was royalty in her youth, but hated his family and ended up escaping with a mercenary group (was dating the leader back then) but also started to hate that lifestyle (mostly cause his ex's ideals were getting more corrupt with time), joined Veni's gang later

Cymo: Grumpy old man! Veni's closest friend and confidant (and maybe something more?) He's quite the artist too!

Dusa: I have the personal headcanon that jellyfish aren't... Well, they don't really have much going on there (they're just a jelly bag of nerves) but she was given a mask by someone a long time ago (she forgot about them) and gained focus because of it (I also think something similar happened with Monomon, but it's a personal headcanon so don't @ me)

Thanks for asking btw <3 it means a lot to me

| OC ask meme |

[pitgritted]

gauntleted fist raised and rapped sharply against the ornate doorframe to the boss' private chamber, the sound echoing through the dimly lit room. He was hoping to find the half-beast still in here and the noxian commander was quite lucky this time it seems. his body adorned with black, thick armor leaned against the frame. broad arms crossed over his chest as hazel irises rested upon' the other man's figure once he's caught the fighter's attention.

" was hopin' to catch ya' before the show. " it's been a while since ace set his foot onto the fighting pit. countless battles and the military of noxus held a chain wrapped around his throat but at the very least he was glad he could make it in time to celebrate this day. An event where people leave each other a token of their gratitude, affection. his time within the fighting pits was memorable, a clash and boost of adrenaline that the commander had never felt when conflict arised between the nation of strength and other lands. a small smirk decorated the fire fist's lips, head tilted to the side. " i got ya' somethin'. 's outside 'cause the damn thing is too big to even fit the corridor. " with these words, he turned around. a small glance thrown over his shoulder towards the boss. " care to follow, sett ? " 

once they could make it through the dimly lit corridors, down towards one of the balcony there was a big golden statue waiting outside. few soldiers of the noxus still struggling to move the damn thing somewhere else, with a bit of guidance of the pit's staff. it was nothing else but a sculpture of the boss himself and the fire fist. the pose resembling one of their legendary battles between each other in the pit. it was made with the precision and talent of noxian artists. it was quite a cheesy gift, but something to keep in memory between the two fighters. his gaze turned towards the vastayan, with a charming smile gracing the commander's freckled features. " Happy Valentines day, boss. "

    TO   BE   PERFECTLY   HONEST   ,   HE   WAS   EXPECTING   TO   SEE   A   RAWBONED   MAN   WATCHING   HIM   ALL   DOE   -   EYED   FROM   THEIR   POSITION   ALONG   THE   AUBORN   FRAME   OF   HIS   CORRIDOR   .   sherap   ,   to   be   more   specific   .   inform   the   BOSS   a   concise   count   of   the   coin   box   before   it’s   tallied   to   the   most   profitable   hours   of   the   pit   .   he   expected   spenders   tonight   —   per   the   usual   &   he’s   there   watching   the   spectacle   .   sett’s   mind   already   working   through   estimates   of   how   much   coin   would   be   made   off   bets   &   what   percentages   would   have   to   go   to   the   fighters   ,   all   simmered   down   to   a   resting   space   on   the   divot   of   his   yielding   tongue   . 

    his   eyes   lift   per   the   cleaving   sound   of   metal   against   wood   ,   his   ears   standing   a   tad   -   straighter   .   not   a   very   ENTICING   sound   ,   the   cracking   ,   he   would   think   .   he   counted   it   ;   one   …   two   …   three   times   —   three   times   did   the   knocking   occur   .   sett   makes   a   face   —   as   ryo   would   call   it   —   looking   like   he   wanted   to   REPRIMAND   someone   for   interrupting   his   moment   of   quiet   contemplation   .   punch   the   daylights   out   of   somebody   for   it   .   anyone   that   was   in   his   line   of   sight   . 

    that   ‘   anyone   ‘   being   a   very   familiar   face   .   he   can   recognize   that   armor   anywhere   . 

    the   little   alcove   of   his   office   immediately   felt   like   it   became   sanctioned   in   heat   .   &   he   didn’t   know   if   it   was   the   noxian’s   doing   .   although   it’s   been   time   ,   sett   tried   to   save   an   inkling   of   intimidating   professionalism   .   he   adjusts   his   form   a   bit   ,   his   knicked   -   up   elbows   implanting   against   the   wood   of   his   office   table   ,   loitered   with   papers   &   lone   fisticuffs   . 

    sett   tilts   his   head   ,   more   absent   mindedly   than   anything   ,   he   asks   .   〝   the   commander   being   on   the   registry   tonight   wasn’t   on   the   paper   .   what’re   you   doing   here   ?   〞   absent   mindedly   because   his   looming   presence   over   the   arena   would   have   drawn   the   officiator’s   attention   &   the   stare   of   every   person   in   the   pit   .   the   commander   standing   before   him   ,   included   .   ace   was   among   his   most   distinguished   combatant   ,   stood   out   among   probationary   fighters   that   even   had   a   fucking   heel   to   saunter   up   in   his   office   in   entrance   &   declare   his   intentions   without   bluff   .   the   fight   they   had   …   had   it   really   been   that   long   ago   ?   his   brain   was   wracking   hard   to   think   now   . 

    it   has   already   been   a   series   of   four   to   five   months   already   .   of   course   —   matters   needed   attending   to   .   sett   was   no   stranger   to   events   outside   the   pit   effecting   the   lives   of   his   fighters   .   though   having   too   many   being   given   a   red   card   would   make   things   UNSAVORY   for   business   .   anything   that   compromises   the   gold   of   his   pit   the   BOSS   would   get   involved   .   ace   still   had   a   title   to   fulfill   ,   much   to   his   old   bloodline’s   satisfaction   .   although   fighters   could   easily   make   great   detail   of   their   relationship   ,   sett   had   given   ace   more   leash   than   anyone   simply   because   the   man   was   unimaginably   good   at   his   job   .   being   commander   was   just   another   side   -   gig   .   simply   ,   ace   liked   to   play   ,   pick   his   words   that   would   leave   a   sour   aftertaste   ,   he   knew   when   not   to   undermine   his   BOSS   . 

    sett’s   eyebrows   rose   a   fraction   at   the   slew   of   words   then   echoed   to   him   .   followed   by   an   open   space   blistering   of   the   commander’s   inquiry   .   inviting   him   to   follow   .   his   dulled   fingernails   make   headway   for   the   hackles   of   his   body   ,   scratching   along   the   underbelly   of   his   chiseled   neck   ,   visibly   coated   with   pores   pelted   in   short   dark   crimson   hairs   .   he   makes   a   ragged   sound   ;   an   exhale   as   his   fingers   slowed   enough   ,   detailing   he   had   been   thinking   about   it   .   〝   guess   i   got   no   other   choice   ,   do   i   ?   〞   sett   conceded   ,   standing   up   shortly   after   . 

    〝   what   ,   did   y’   get   me   a   masseuse   or   something   ?   〞 

    standing   next   to   ace   felt   bizarre   to   the   half   -   beast   .   putting   it   bluntly   ,   it   was   like   a   well   acquitted   straggler   trying   to   reunion   with   the   only   bastard   that   ever   shown   genuine   respect   .   sett   just   felt   like   an   obtuse   thorn   standing   next   to   them   ,   asides   from   being   much   shorter   than   the   militant   fighter   .   regardless   ,   he   follows   .   promptly   stopping   before   ornately   crafted   rails   ,   his   fingers   coming   to   find   sanctuary   atop   cold   metal   ,   his   eyes   pinpoint   the   very   obvious   &   obnoxious   statue   ,   fastened   with   a   couple   of   men   haggling   to   haul   it   into   the   pit   .   he   makes   a   face   like   he   wants   to   laugh   .

    〝   you   even   got   my   pit   officers   to   work   with   ‘ya   ?   now   that’s   talent   .   s’   feels   like   there’s   somethin’   more   to   this   —   〞   sett   openly   declares   ,   his   eyes   roving   over   their   statuesque   bodies   positioned   together   to   entail   of   their   fight   .   if   he   recalls   correctly   ,   it   was   one   of   the   most   impressive   &   coin   spent   nights   for   the   pit   .   commemorating   a   new   boundless   profit   .   he   glances   back   at   ace   ,   a   smirk   of   amusement   .   〝   for   valentine’s   day   .   i   hope   you   weren’t   expectin’   a   kiss   outta   me   for   all   o’   this   .   blows   my   mind   you   got   this   heavy   SUCKER   onto   a   ship   &   traveled   all   the   way   here   to   ionia   .   but   i   guess   it's   the   perks   of   being   a   noxian   leader   to   a   bunch   'a   cronies   .   〞

[solomonish]

The Brothers and What You Are to Them

Do you ever wonder what it is about you that keeps your demon by your side? Not necessarily the traits you have that attracted them to you (and still do), or what they think makes you you, but the reason you’ve become so irreplaceable and imperative in their life that they don’t think they could live without you.

Nowdateables: here!

To Lucifer, you feel like stability.

Lucifer isn’t an insecure man, nor does he need someone to lean on. He doesn’t find himself overwhelmed by what the world throws at him. He is capable, and he can shoulder the responsibilities expected of him and then some, no matter what they should turn out to be.

...at least, that’s what he thinks, and that’s what he says.

But he does find himself asking you to run errands for him when he needs them done correctly. He does find himself entrusting you to keep the roof of the house connected to the rest of it if he has to go away. You are the one who knows how he likes his coffee and when it should be brought to him to power him through the rest of his work without cutting into his scant sleep time. You keep things under control when everybody seems hellbent on making sure things don’t go the way Lucifer plans, and then you’re there to kiss his forehead despite his empty protests and remind him to take care of himself, too.

Lucifer doesn’t feel like the ground is shaking beneath him, ready to topple down at the slightest breath. But if he did, he knew you’d be there to keep him from plummeting down.

To Mammon, you feel like acceptance.

Mammon is called a lot of things in his life, especially by those who are supposed to hold him dear. He’s never smart enough, never behaved enough, never trustworthy enough, never good enough. And, when he gives up and decides not to make himself sick over expectations he’ll never be able to reach, he only gets worse. To everybody else, he’s scum, and sometimes he can’t help but feel it.

You should be saying those things to him, too, with the way he can’t help but hoard your time and your affections and yes, even your things sometimes.

But you don’t. You pet his head and hold him close and give him affection. You do it even when he makes it difficult on you and tries to tell you that he doesn’t want it. He does. He needs it, even. For the first time, he feels like somebody, he feels like he reaches the expectations set up for him and that he actually has a shot to be what somebody wants.

And when you tell him that you don’t have any expectations for him, none except for him to just be himself, he believes you. And it feels so, so nice.

To Leviathan, you feel like peace.

You would think that a life spent nearly entirely in a room playing video games would be easy and peaceful enough. Saying so aloud is a surefire way to get Leviathan to snap.

Envy never allows him to know peace. His video games, manga and anime are a distraction along with a passion. At least he can fend off some of the negative energy with the knowledge that he is the biggest megafan of any number of franchises and titles. Still, despite that, despite the calming water he modeled his room after, he still feels the jealousy tearing at his inside like unstoppable tumultuous seas.

But you stop that. You are the greatest thing, and even if he isn’t sure why you’d ever consider him worthy, he can find that peace in being the one that you’d rather spend your time with and give your affections to. He makes it hard, and he knows he does - but you persist, and you cast that life raft out to him and finally, he feels like maybe he won’t drown anymore.

When he does allow himself to sit and just be the person that, for some reason, you love, his waters still and he knows what it is to really be loved.

To Satan, you feel like understanding.

Satan has had to build a wall around himself brick by brick to hide the ugliness that nobody would dare approach, that he never even asked for and never would have.

He is the king of masks. For any situation, he has about twenty that he can switch between flawlessly, keeping you on your toes and creating a labyrinth so involved nobody will ever figure it out. Well, everybody except for you.

You managed to find your way to his core, sometimes when he wanted you too and always when he didn’t. Sometimes, you figured out the riddles he laid out for you like breadcrumbs, your smile lighting up and lightening his heart so spectacularly he felt like a new person. Other times, you snuck in with a wrecking ball and made your own way to his center, leaving the walls he set up in ruins. Most of them, he isn’t sure he wants to rebuild - not if they keep you out. At the end of the day, even if it’s cheesy, even if it’s unexpected (and that bruises his ego to admit), he finds that you understand who he is so intimately, you may know him better than he knows himself.

Maybe, with your constant meddling, you invented the person he’s become, or at least helped in his formation - but, if you like him that way, that might not be such an insufferable fate.

To Asmodeus, you feel like sweetness.

The life led by someone with eyes on him all the time is ferocious.

Even for somebody who can charm anybody with a simple glance, Asmo has an equal talent for scorning those he leaves behind. For every person gushing at his Devilgram and tracking his whereabouts for an autograph or a photo, there’s someone cursing his name and spewing the worst kinds of insult that will never directly reach his ear. In his life, you take the pleasure with the pain, and you don’t complain about either or you’ll lose the only good you’ve got.

But nothing about you is so vile. You don’t chase after him just to prove that you’ve met him (even if, at first, he was a little miffed at the prospect), and you’d never say something so soul-shatteringly hateful it’d make even a demon lord cringe. You give him the kindness that doesn’t come with expectations or desire for something in return, the kind that might even come unconditionally. You make him feel like he doesn’t have to prove anything, like he’d still be the most wonderful, beautiful creature in all the realms to you even if (gasp!) everybody else turned their backs on him. There’s a sort of innocent kindness in the way you smile at him that gives him a sugar high, and he isn’t always sure of what to do with it.

Once, he was a creature made to be loved and adored, and you make him feel like there was never a time where such a privilege was ripped away from him.

To Beelzebub, you feel gentle.

Beelzebub is a big guy, and he’s a well-known athlete. People don’t look at him and think he’s fragile goods.

And he isn’t. He is his family’s defender, and he’s been through battles terrible enough they still hang over those who even know about them like storm clouds. But inside his tough exterior, the uncaring aura he accidentally portrays when all he can think about is keeping himself fed, there’s a person that craves the same affections everybody else does. Beelzebub isn’t just hungry for food - he feel empty, entirely hollow, like a void he’s worried will grow too big to be distracted and swallow everything he cares about whole. Sometimes he feels so empty he could just curl up and die.

But, whatever it is you have, it fills him up so deliciously and he’s hooked. It’s even enough for him to just know that you’re around and taken care of - that staves off the worst of it, and he suddenly doesn’t feel like a beast that will be the downfall of all he loves. You give him patience with his need to eat, you give him gentleness with your touches and your smiles, and your voice doesn’t have that exasperated edge everybody else’s does. 

He isn’t a powerhouse or a bottomless pit to you - he’s a person, and it’s more than he could ever ask for.

To Belphegor, you feel like forgiveness.

Belphegor does a lot, he is a lot, and most of it feel wrong.

If he could keep himself awake for longer, he might have enough time to dig himself into a pit of self-loathing in the way Levi does. But he just feels empty, a void broken by occasional bouts of fury, or hatred, or pain of some sort. It’s hardly an existence, so he does the bare minimum, hardly passing the threshold for living because to do so would be more than he could deal with. Hell, the only time he has to think and to do things, he spends trying to inconvenience the person who (supposedly) cares most for him or hurting others - hurting you.

God, how can you look at him like that? Like he’s somebody you can trust, like he’s somebody worth an effort when he himself doesn’t give a damn? It’s weird, it’s stupid, it’s just like you humans to do, and it can never stop. It’s too much for him to deal with, but that’s a good thing. The time he spends wrestling with your forgiveness is time spent being productive, something he’s not exactly been accused of before. And sometimes, that diligence spreads to other thins: his relationship with his brothers, his relationship with humans, his relationship with himself.

You make him want to put the work in because you make him feel like he amounts to something - and you make him feel like his mistakes haven’t completely blotted out his hopes for the future the way he used to think they did.

[crumbledcastle28]

Chapter 6: A Jedi

Warnings: traumaaaa, lots of anxiety, like lots of anxiety, the reader really hates herself in this one, minor minor violence, references to violence, mostly just anxiety and hate.

Author’s Note: This is where the series starts to pick up, so I executed it as best as I could! I also went a little off canon with this one, so I hope it makes sense with the story. Thank you for any support!

Your journey to Sorgan was pretty smooth… but Mando was tense.

You tried your best to reassure him multiple times that this was the best choice for the kid and that you could help him with any challenge thrown at him, but he would just respond with a sigh and a solemn nod. So, you decided not to push it.

He had done even riskier missions on his own, so he can handle this one.

Once you arrived, you walked into the common house and met a woman named Cara Dune.

She introduced herself to you and she seemed very friendly, but when Mando mentioned that she was an ex shock trooper for the Republic, that is when you tensed up.

You had done things in your past that you knew would offend her. Not even offend her, but provoke her to strangle you alive. The fact that she was from Alderaan made it obvious enough that the Empire had hurt her deeply.

The only way to protect yourself was to hide who you really were, and your heart sank.

You felt like you had finally broken away from that way of life. The hiding, the anxiety, the fear. You felt like you could be yourself with Mando and the kid and not have to worry about that anymore. But the galaxy was cruel like that.

After the brief introduction, Mando proceeded to outline the plan and everything that the man on the recording (who you later found out to go by the name Greef Karga) had said, and Cara looked far from impressed.

“I don’t know, I’ve been advised to lay low,” she said, “If anyone identifies me, I’ll rot in a cell for the rest of my life.”

That makes two of us, you think.

“I thought you were a veteran,” Mando mumbled.

“I’ve been a lot of things,” Cara replied. “If I so much as book a passage on a ship registered to the New Republic-”

“I have a ship,” Mando replied, “I can bring you there and back with a handsome reward. You can live free of worry.”

“I’m already free of worry,” she said, “and I’m not in the mood to play soldier anymore. Especially fighting a local warlord.”

“He’s not a local warlord,” Mando replied, “He’s Imperial.”

You could see how Cara visibly tensed up at the word “Imperial.” If you weren’t scared of her before, you sure as hell were now.

“I’m in,” she responded, and you smiled at her.

She grinned back to you and asked, “Where do you fit in in this plan?”

You looked at the child in your arms and said, “My job is to keep the child safe. So I will protect him until he is used as the bait, and I will adapt to where he goes from there.”

“She can defend herself plenty,” Mando says, and Cara nods at you.

“I believe you,” she says, and you give her another smile.

I really hope I don’t let her down, you think.

~~*~~

Within the next hour, the four of you had arrived back at the Razor Crest.

Mando started the ship on track to Nevarro while Cara took a look at the weapon arsenal.

You watched as her eyes scanned over the array of options, and you couldn’t help but feel deep sorrow for her.

Her life was torn apart by the Empire, and now she was getting thrown right back into a fight. The fact that she wasn’t even going to join the mission before Mando mentioned that the client was Imperial made you nervous. She was not a woman you wanted to mess with, so you hoped and prayed you would stay on her good side.

The kid had somehow managed to make it to the controls and grab hold of the throttle, which made the ship veer abruptly side to side.

You ran to the child and lifted him away from the throttle while Mando stabilized the ship.

“Are you sure one set of hands is enough to watch that little beast? Worst case scenario, we made need y/n to fight with us. Maybe an extra set of hands could help,” Cara said, trying to catch her breath from running all around the ship.

Mando looked back at you and you nodded.

“She’s right. I can watch the kid as long as you need, but if you guys need me in a fight I can’t keep him with me. He could get hurt.”

Mando nodded and sat back down in the pilot’s chair.

“Looks like we are making a pit stop,” he said.

~~*~~

The Razor Crest landed on the property of a man named Kuiil. Mando said that he had helped him greatly in the past and he trusted him, and if Mando trusted somebody, you did too.

He greeted you with open arms and was incredibly nice. He led the four of you inside his humble home, and you never realized how long it had been since you stayed in an actual home.

Kuiil studied the child in your arms and said, “it hasn’t grown much.”

“What is your name,” he asked you.

“I am y/n. It is nice to meet you Kuiil,” you said and he nodded reverently to you.

“What about this one? Does she have a name,” he said, gesturing to Cara.

“This is Cara. She was a shock trooper,” Mando said.

“You were a dropper,” Kuiil said, and Cara nodded.

“Did you serve,” she asked.

“On the other side, I’m afraid. But I’m proud to say that I paid out my clan’s debt, and now I serve no one but myself,” Kuiil said.

The other side, you think. Kuiil served the Empire? And Mando had worked with him before?

You couldn’t deny the fact that this got your hopes up. Mando… working with the enemy.

If only he knew, you thought.

All of a sudden, the door behind Kuiil opened, and an IG droid stepped inside with a tray in his hands.

Mando immediately sprang to his feet and pointed his blaster at the droid. Cara joined him, and you blocked the pram the child was in with your whole body.

“Would anyone care for some tea,” the droid asked, and your eyebrows knit in confusion.

Weren’t these droids normally hunters?

“Please, lower your blasters. He will not harm you,” Kuiil said, obviously trying to diffuse the situation.

Mando, however, didn’t seem to want to go that route.

He kept his blaster pointed directly at the droid’s head and said, “That thing is programmed to kill the baby.”

You straightened your back at his words, blocking as much of the pram as you could, until Kuiil shook his head and said, “Not anymore.”

He then explained how he found the droid at a battle site and brought it back to his workshop. He decided to repair it, and then spent many days teaching the droid everything from scratch. It developed a personality, Kuiil mentioned, and it’s experiences helped the personality become unique to the droid.

“Is it still a hunter,” Mando asked.

“No, but it will protect,” he said, and Mando finally lowered his blaster.

There was no way Mando was going to let that robot anywhere near the child.

~~*~~

Later that night, you and Cara were sitting in Kuiil’s house while Mando was outside speaking with him, no doubt trying to convince him to protect the child.

“So what’s your story,” Cara asked, taking a sip of tea.

“Oh.. well… Mando picked me up on Tattooine. I worked there as a mechanic for a woman named Peli. It was a good job, but I wanted to get off that planet. I had lived there for a long time, and I wanted to explore the galaxy for once. It sounds cheesy, but I’ve always wanted to do that at some point. Mando agreed to take me with him on his missions in exchange for the child’s safety,” you say, and Cara nods.

“Nice. You made a living for yourself, and were brave enough to walk away when you knew the time was right. Most people never leave their home planet,” she says, and you nod.

“Yeah… I tried my best,” you say, and you try not to let your eyes darken. You didn’t like talking about your past. All it did was stir up old memories that you had worked to push down for years. You hated your past, and you didn’t know how well you could hide it much longer. Especially when you were being questioned by someone like Cara.

“The Empire… hurt me a lot. So, I am excited to hurt it back,” you say, and a big grin shows on Cara’s face.

She takes another sip of her tea, and looks up to find Mando walking through the door.

“Any luck,” she says to him, and he shakes his head no.

“Kuiil said that the droid can protect the child, but I don’t trust it,” he says and Cara chuckles.

“Yeah.. I think we got that,” Cara says and you smile.

Mando goes to sit down next to Cara, so she scoots over a bit to make some room for him.

You heard something hit the floor, and you realize Cara had knocked over your bag on accident. You had brought it into Kuiil’s house because you used it to store snacks for the child.

You stored other things in there too, and under no circumstance was anyone allowed to see them.

That was going pretty well, until Cara knocked the entire thing over.

“Whoops. Sorry,” she says and goes to start putting the items back in.

Your body is frozen in place and you feel like your lungs are being squeezed. Your limbs have turned to putty, and you cannot take your eyes off her hands.

If she sees it, I and dead. I am so dead

“It’s- It’s ok Cara. I’ve got it,” you say and start to stand up.

“No no it’s ok, I can-” she says, before her eyes widen.

She picks up an item and starts raising it to eye level, and you are just about ready to vomit.

Your saber.

You feel like your entire body is crumbling before her and she can’t even tell. Your breathing has become almost erratic and the sweat on your forehead starts to drip down to your eyes.

This whole experience, this whole journey with Mando and the kid could be completely undone right now. Everything you have hidden, everything you’ve buried, and everything you hoped you left behind on sandy Tattooine is staring you right in the face.

And Cara is….smiling?

“No way,” she yells excitedly, before laughing and smiling at you. 

“No wonder you were so secretive about your past! You’re a Jedi,” she says.

You take a glance at Mando, who is staring at the saber, looking confused as ever.

Ok, maybe this is good, you think to yourself, trying to relax.

I can pretend I was a Jedi. Sure. I have basically the same training as them.

But who were you kidding. You knew that wasn’t going to cut it.

“A Jedi?” Mando says, and Cara goes into a whole tangent about how amazing the Jedi were. How they fought the Empire till their dying breaths and defended the galaxy. They had been betrayed by their own clone groups, and most of them died in Order 66.

“But you didn’t!” she said and smiled at you.

You managed a smile back, but you had to have looked like a psycho. You were in so much physical and emotional pain from the amount of anxiety flowing through you. You had felt out of control before, but this was more dangerous than you knew.

You were such an idiot getting your hopes up. Thinking that a Mandalorian actually cared for someone like you. How could you have been so stupid.

“Even the colors of the sabers are legendary,” Cara said. “Aren’t they y/n?”

You nod back, but you know what’s coming.

Your truth was about to shine throughout the entire house, reflecting back at you like some sick joke. And you were screwed. You were so screwed.

“Well, let’s see it then,” Cara said and ignited the saber with both hands wrapped around the handle.

“Wait” you scream, but it was too late.

The tears hit your eyes before she even ignited the weapon.

The deep, burning red saber was ignited, and there was no going back.

It’s burning, fire like glow illuminated Cara’s face, and a sunset like tint was shining on Mando’s armor.

He always looked so beautiful when light would reflect off of him, but not like this.

The red from the saber was vibrant, but you had never seen a glow as red as the anger in Cara’s eyes.

She knew what this color meant, and your identity was revealed in all its glory.

A Sith

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[missdawnandherdusk]

Slytherin Extensive Dating a Malfoy Headcanons:

Here’s to all of my lovely Slytherin followers!

You’re sorted into Slytherin and you don’t quite understand why, but there had to be a reason. Draco didn’t quite understand either but not like he cares. pffft. nope. 

You’re a odd Slytherin. No one can deny your ambition or hesitancy to do things just right, but there are some times that you surprise everyone

Draco thinks you don’t belong in Slytherin but damn you’re good at Quidditch

You play as a Keeper. He thinks that it’s stupid but you give him a flash of your smile and maybe he’s forgotten what he’s supposed to be doing on the field too

He swears your part veela because people just stop and do things for you all the time

“Oh, I’ve forgotten my quill, does anyone have an extra?” There are about ten at your disposal from others that you always return with that same distracting smile not that he noticed 

You always get out of trouble, no matter what it is. With Filch or Snape or McGonagall. You just had a way with words and it frustrated him

And oh the way you snark at Potter. It’s not cruel like his normal taunts but you always have a way to sneak that smile in and a wicked quip leaving both he and Harry gaping after you

When Buckbeak goes to attack him, you’re right there, smiling and speaking softly to the beast and it backs down, charmed like everyone else “It’s alright, there’s no need to feel threatened, just calm,” Buckbeak then lets you and Draco approach and you give him that smile and the boy is a goner

“Malfoy?” You call his attention. “Huh what?” He blinks. “Are you alright?” You laugh and maybe he wasn’t paying attention the first time you asked him

You always looked so put together and confident whenever he was around, whenever he noticed you, you were always smiling and flawless and it wasn’t fair in his opinion because it just looked so effortless

First years from any house are hanging onto your every word because you’re always there to show them the way or give them advice on how to get on a professor’s good side which has him sulking because you never talk to him like that

Oh but wait until someone crosses you. He thought you had the patience of a saint but bloody hell 

One of your friends lies to you constantly? Someone betrays you? Oh you have receipts and evidence lined up against them. People from other houses and different years are at your defense because they know it just like you do. You’re ex-friend is a backbiter and damn Merlin if they think you’ll let them get away with it and honestly Draco can’t decide if he’s scared or turned on when he sees the fires of hell in your eyes

But then you catch sight of him and your smile is back and you wave and he’s gawking because yeah he’s definitely both scared and turned on

Even though everyone whispers around the school about what went down, you still hold your head high and still look flawless

But one night he finds you in the Slytherin common room, sitting in the window seat, watching the murky water of the lake, crying silently Draco starts panicking because what is he supposed to do you’re always put together what do you mean you’re crying alone

“Uh... are you okay?” He has no idea why he’s asking, but he can’t just leave you here... can he? 

You immediately wipe away your tears and smile, but Draco can see right through this one. He leans against the wall beside the window, waiting for you to explain

“Am... am I really vindictive, manipulative, and controlling?” You seem so insecure as you hug your knees. “I... I know Slytherins are cunning and ambitious... but I don’t want to be a bad person...”

He’s staring again because you always seem to keep him on his toes for trying to figure you out. And he’s never seen you as anything less than perfect and he’s not stopping now. You’re just more real

“You’re not a bad person,” He finally says, sitting on the window seat with you. Teary-eyed you look at him, and now he’s furious towards whoever thought they could make you think you’re a bad person

You laugh hopelessly and again, wipe away your tears. “Thanks Draco,” It’s the first time you’ve ever used his first name

He just nods and leaves you to your thoughts again. Now he’s asking around to what could possibly have you so upset and doubting of yourself even though you’re still put together in the halls, your head held high and maybe he hopes that someone might understand him back he’s not as put together as he seems either

You often come to him now when you’re really stressed out and you don’t want anyone else to know, but you know Draco won’t tell anyone nor judge you

Sometimes he just knows where to find you when you’re thinking alone and he has some sort of sweet, or tea, or something. You two just sit together, not saying anything, but not acting like you have it all together either

You notice in Fourth Year that Draco starts to slip through the cracks of falling into being like his father and you know he’s scared to be like his father but you also know what it’s like to not know what else to do

Draco notices that you’re getting a lot of attention from Viktor Krum and his school buddies. They all seem to have fallen for the same smile that he did but they couldn’t have you, they would never understand you like he did. How dare they even think it

“Do you want to go to the first task with me?” You ask him and he snaps his quill because Merlin how do you move so quietly “Me? Why don’t you go with one of your Durmstrang blokes?” He snaps. 

You gape at him. Sure, you knew you were getting attention from those guys, but was it really enough to make Draco jealous? “I don’t want to go with them, they’re entitled uncivilized imbeciles.” You scoff. “I want to go with you. Idiot!” Then you storm off. 

Draco realizes oh my stars I fucked up shitshitshitshitshitshit uh um bloody hell what to i do

So he chases after you and grabs your hand in the middle of that hall between classes so there are students everywhere

“I’m sorry,” He rushes out and you tilt your head, waiting. “If... if you still want to go with me...” 

“Malfoy bothering you?” One of the Durmstrang asks, coming up beside you, placing a hand on your shoulder and Draco’s blood just boils

But before Draco can get his wand out, you have the guy on the floor groaning in pain taking him down muggle style and Draco has gone back to being scared and turned on You smile at him and take his hand, on your way to the pitch to watch the task

He guesses that you’re dating now? No one ever offiaclly said anything and not much has changed except you always find him in the halls and hold his hand and maybe his most recent batch of Amortentia smells just like your perfume and favorite sweet... And maybe yours smells just like his cologne and favorite tea...

He eventually gets the words out: “Do you want to go out with me?” He’s stuttering and blushing because you two are alone and he doesn’t have to be Mr. PerfectTM and you’re smiling at him again and you’re making it so difficult for him and you know it

“Well duh,” You finally laugh. “You’re so dense sometimes Dray,” 

Everyone thinking that you are the EliteTM couple on campus because of how well you both charade perfection...

When you’re really just total goofballs. You like doodling stupid things on his notes and he always has a cheesy pickup lines at the ready. You two flirt but it’s more like banter because you’re already his and Merlin does everyone ship it 

Tickle fights / “For you my lady,” “Well thank you kind sir,” / Inside jokes / Maybe a prank or two that eventually escalates and ends when Draco has vibrant blue hair and you get the last laugh but merlin does he look good

His parents and your parents believe that they have the perfect couple between you two. Such decorum and tradition, and refinement. (And you and Draco are flying upside down on your brooms, running barefoot through the Manors, making a mess in the kitchen trying to bake without magic, blasting music in the halls and singing off key and dancing) Narcissa knows all of this and adores that you bring such joy to Draco’s life

Umbridge has met her match with you. She is completely enchanted with you, even though you’re running an underground network against her at the school and she doesn’t have the slightest idea Draco is so impressed and Merlin does he love how cunning you are

When No Nose comes back and fear is a constant lingering in the school and amongst Slytherins, you slowly drop your prefect facade and let others know it’s okay to not be okay. “Little Miss Perfect isn’t so perfect is she?” “No, but I am real,” 

You get fascinated with Dark Magic, because well, everyone keeps talking about it and you think that it’s stupid to be afraid of something you don’t know about so you learn and it doesn’t seem so scary when you realize there are counter curses and jinxes that spread like wildfire in the school in an underground network you and Hermione set up

Draco takes the Dark Mark, and so do you. You won’t leave him on his own. You want loyal and cunning and ambitious? Bring it No Nose who honestly believes that you’re on his side and for his cause because who can lie to him? You can.

 You stay at the Manor with Draco during the holidays. It’s almost vital that both you and Draco pull your masks of perfection back on for the sake of surviving. Which leave you both doing things that has you breaking down in each other arms in the quiet of the night because how did it come to this?

Using the same underground network, you feed encrypted information to the Golden Trio and Hogwarts. You always go down and talk with Luna and keep her company behind a silencing charm or two

You punch Pansy in the face when she suggests handing over Harry. 

You and Draco both stand with Hogwarts during the battle. You actually laugh when confusion breaks out across the Death Eaters and No Nose and you have the urge to scream “I’m a Slytherin! Who did you think you were dealing with!?” And maybe you do

After the war it’s hard facing anyone because for so long they thought that you and Draco had gone dark side, but slowly tensions ease and things get better and there’s a light at the end of the table.

You and Draco redeem the Slytherin House and later after you’re married to each other, McGonagall comes and asks you to teach and to be the Head of House for Slytherin

Tags: @coffee-addicti @msmcsmutt @ravn-87@artemismohr18@whygz @crazywritingbug @fuzzy-panda@bitemebro522 @zombiesnips-blog @jillanaholland@shookyungsoo @savingdraco@welcometomyworldwithoutrules@akari180 @slytherin-emerald@chaotic-good-gemini @memalfoy-spidey@theres-a-dog-outside-omg @queenfeatherwings@fanficflaneuse @go-whovian-universe@spicyshenanigans@darling-im-not-okay-i-promise@dietkiwi@katsukink@takemetothekingdom @strangerr-things@tmnt-queen@mccloudchloe @hxneybgb@justsomerandomgur @belcvayelena@moviesbooksandfandoms@howdycharlie@xtrashmouthxtozierx @cocochanelthepupper@ninacotte@mccloudchloe @braelynn-j@jiggllyy @honeymarvel@go-whovian-universe@darcypottah@atomicpunkrock @thiccheerioss @lottie289@boredashaeck​ @beautiful-pegasus @tceedlmao @deadlynyghtshayde @iconjuresnapeingrandmaclothes @anonymous034 @bi-andready-tocry @lunna-does-real-doodle @dragonsandbread @atomicwonderlandmentality @okaydraco@the–queen-of-hell@langdonzvoid @cmxreader @alienmotel @oh-itsnothing@tulippings @thestressedprincess @sunflowerxsadnessw@caps-wilsonn @fattycooter @angelotakunerd08@thisisahugemistake @fanficsigottaread​ @gweaslvy​ @okaydraco​ @strawberriesonsummer​ @ughjjloveme​ @honeymarvel​  @gaysludge​ @cleopatera​ @ray-of-sunrise​ @artist-bby​

[infinitegalahad]

Borhap Boys As Sugar Daddies

(reposted bc it was disappearing from the tags😭)

hey guys!! I wanna apolgoize for the disappearance, school is ✨madness✨ luv. so I've decided to try something new. But I promise I'm working on requests (and a bunch of new ideas). I love all of the borhap boys (bc they are babies🥺) so this might become a little series of head canons! no major warnings, just lots of fluff and some suggestive material. also reader is gender neutral (boy, girl, whatever you what it my dudes!) why not mix my fav trope and boys all in...one fic😳😳 anyways hope you guys enjoy!! I would love some feedback for future reference

Masterlist (requests are welcomed!)

Rami Malek-

Number one that gif of him...need I say more? 🥰

I’m sick of how ya’ll sleep on Rami!! I’m gonna give him tons of love

He would be one of the most affectionate sugar daddy’s tbh

Certainly would spoil the HECK out of you

Whether it be paying off your bills or lavish trips to Greece, Rami always has your back

You never had to pay a SINGLE PENNY when you were around him

Being with Rami, you were a changed person

Your fashion game went UPPPP

Like chanel perfume, all designer clothes, nice handbags, you NAME IT

”Rami, I’m not buying a five hundred dollar shirt from Theory.” ”What do you mean? It would look so good on you, sweetheart.”

Yes, Rami bought you the shirt

You two were at a vinyl place and you saw a limited edition queen vinyl

He buys it (and basically 10+ vinyls you love)

SO RAMI MAKES A WHOLE ASS ROOM IN HIS HOME FOR YOUR VINYLS🥺🥺

This man is omfg i loveee him❣️

Little sneak kisses to your forehead

Seeing you smile as you shop and blush at his complaints makes him so freaking happy HE LOVES YOU SO MUCH

He would take you shopping at the best stores

“I would be fine at a target, y’know” as you look around a Gucci store

Rami would snake an arm around your waist as he cooed into your ear, “My baby deserves the best, and nothing but the best

What started out as an arrangement turned into a genuine relationship

When looking for a sugarbaby, Rami was simply looking for company (and someone to spoil the heck out of)

In all truth, he was simply a lonely guy who simply wanted someone to make happy, and made himself happy in the process

Wherever you guys would go, he would always wanna hold your hand and be close to you bc he’s scared of loosing someone he’s made a connection with

And i’m totally not crying as I write this

Both of you were in dark places when you first met

Rami showed how much he truly cared about you

If you called him all upset, he would SPEED over with whatever you needed whether it be pizza or emotional support

Sitting on your couch, his arm wrapped around yours as you vented about your problems

Rami had convinced you to drop your job and come live with him because he’s a KING!!

”Angel, you’re not gonna have to worry about anymore.” ”What do you mean?”

You ended up quitting your job and moving in with him

What turned into an arrangement became an intimate relationship

The sex between you to was AMAZING

it was VERY intimate

It started off slow but would get increasingly rougher god I hate what I said

Rami would always check up and you and NEVER go past your limits

It would end with the two of you cuddling in bed

Let’s just say you never had to worry about your bills ever again😎😎

I MADE MYSELF CRY WHYYY

Gwilym Lee-

my love for this man? ENDLESS

Seriosuly gwilym lee HAVE MY CHILDERN

anyways to the pLOT

Gwilym is the sexiest and cutest man alive

The sugar daddy that will bring you EVERYWHERE HE GOES

He’s such a gentlemen

Like all relationships start, it was more of an arrangement then a relationship

Your job was to escort Gwilym at all these events as “company”

Gwilym would send a bunch of nice items and a driver to bring you to the location

”Hope you like this ❤️ xxx”   “Treat yourself! 😘xxx”

Like mister I-😳😳

Gwilym is literally such a sweet person

Whenever you were spotted with him, you would get thousands of compliemnts/questions

”You’re with Gwilym! So lucky!”

”That necklace is to kill for! Did Gwilym give it to you?”

”Teach my your ways!”

Whenever you’re at these events all these people give you evil stares

Your like👁👄👁 “is Gwilym a playboy??”

Gwilym is all like “what do you mean?? 🥺Of course not! Your the only one that matters to me right now”

He’s such a king we LOVE HIM

Spontaneous trips to France and Italy

Gwilym and you grow super close

Also your dates would range from fancy galas for Gwilym’s works or peaceful book/poetry readings

He LOVES books and always takes you to bookstores and gives his best recommendations

He literally turns into an english teacher while overanalyzing books

”The greenlight in Green Gatbsy is such a crucial symbol”

”Jane Austen is one of the best feminist writers, she was so ahead of her time!”

You wanna be annoyed but can’t

i can’t I LOVE GWILYM LEE I’M NOT SORRY

The two of you would lie in bed together

You would be slouched against his body as he stroked your hair, reading to you in that accent

As much as you love your gentlemen, you get him into the wacky world of ninety day fiance

”This looks like trash...I’m going to watch every minute of it!”

You guys order chinese food and watch this obsessviely for six hours

I know this is meant to be fluffy but why not add some 🌶

Sex with you and Gwil is like ✨fireworks✨

He would make sure you wouldn’t be able to walk the next day let’s just say😉

He would have to carry you around and kiss your head, saying “You're so adorable, poppet” or “Don’t strain your legs, Cariad!”

Also ceo of AMAZING NICKNAMES

”My anwylyd” (Welsh for dearest)

Would 100% write you romantic poems (over text and in paper)

And yes he WOULD dramatically read them to you😤😤✌🏽

He would always greet you with the most over the top nicknames like “Good morning cariad!” or “Sit there and act pretty, my beloved”

hi mr lee please make me your sugar baby

Gwilym is your sugar daddy but also your sweet, book loving man

He loves seeing you happy so in return, you make him happy💓💓

Joe Mazzello-

This one is a wildcard ladies and gays!! 😌😌

Joe definitely does not strike you as a sugar daddy

He seems more like your boyfriend than anything else

The two of you were inseparable

After dinner Joe would take you to a karaoke bar or for ice cream

After the first date you started calling him Joey

Drunken duets to cheesy 80’s romance songs

The two of you would sing your hearts out before vomiting from the copious ammouts of ice cream and vodka

With Joe it’s eithier mcdonalds or Nobu in TriBeCa

Mr.Mazello has range😌✨

This dude is the ceo of cheesy nicknames

”Yes my little lover muffin!”

”What is it cutie patootie?”

”You look amazing buttercup!”

“What’s up, hot stuff?”

In public he calls you “baby” or “lover” dw he saves you from public embarrassment 

You know that meme of will smith and his wife? That is basically you and Joe

My love for his man is infinite

Joe is super clingy

Hand holding and lots of PDA

He wants people to know that your his sugar baby😤😤💓

he will always send texts like

”miss you baby💓💗💓💗!”

”can you grab milk from the store pls??”

”SUGAR HONEY ICED TEA WHERE ARE YOU😩😩🤯🤯🤯”

”Joe, it’s been a day.”

He has so many photos of you in his camera roll

You are his lockscreen😔💓

The ceo’s of amazing instagram photos, whether it be you wearing a burger king crown at Burger King or You guys kissing on a boat with the Italian sunset on a private boat

Captions would be could “my favorite fairytale is our love story” or “yasss queen slay it!”

It’s cringey but god Joe is so adorable

A combination of a child and gentleman ALL IN ONE

All of his friends are like “you guys HAVE to be dating!’

It’s suppose to be nothing more than an arrangement right?

I mean the two of you were living with eachother and he dropped all of this other sugar babies for you

The two of you are master chefs minus the one time Joe burned mac and cheese and set the stove on fire

Also not to get smutty but the sex between you two? Like

Straight up RAMMING to sweet pillowtalk

Anyways Joe being your sugar daddy would definitely not be a bad thing at all😘

Always exchange those “I love you’s” 💕✨

Ben Hardy-

When first seeing Ben on your sugar daddy app, you were 100% intimidated

But upon meeting him, this tough dude was a PUPPY🥺❣️

On the first date he bought you flowers and gave you a hug

“Y/n, right?”

“That’s me!”

“I just wanted to say you look stunning, love.”

You were wearing jeans and literally smiled so much

You know this date was going to go VERY WELL NOW😩✌🏽✨

Instead of a fancy restaurant, Ben took you to a stroll around London

Whatever clothes you wanted? He got it

Whatever cafe you wanted to stop at? Buy all the tea/coffee and pastries you want

Hotel? Trivago

The two of you walked around the city, hand and hand as you got to know eachother

You ended up walking around the city for five hours up until midnight

You laughed and talked about thousands of things

In confusion, you had to see Ben again

As Ben walked you back to your place, you smiled at him,

”I’d like to do that again.”

”Call me when you want, y/n.”

So your “dates” became more frequent

Ben had the best ideas for dates

Dinners at small Italian places, walking around a museum, or just sitting in his place and watching mindless television

He made sure to spoil you

With gifts, literally and figurreitly

Sex was a large piece in your arrangeemnt

But it was not the only thing in your relationship

And it was!! Amazing!!

”You’re so fucking beautiful” as he would kiss your forehead and dive straight into it 🥺😳

Not only could that man be A BEAST but an absolute sweetheart

Everyday you looked forward to not only getting paid by him, but just talking to him for hours on end

He would stay up for hours just to talk to you, whether it be about your lives or anything

and that ladies and gays is a dedicated MAN

No matter what, Ben always found a way to touch you

He always had his hand on the chair behind you or your thigh

You guys would have pillowforts and nerf fun battles together

It would always end with a cuddle session

Frankie would be skeptcial but love you!!

You guys got so close that he took you on a trip to the greek islands AND PROPOSED!! LIKE!! YES!!😌😌😌

LIKE YES POP OFF MISTER BEN HARDY

[chacusha]

Star Trek: Legends liveblogging (2/?)

More thoughts:

I've had the chance to check out Crusher. She's a bit tricky to use because a strategy involving her relies on damage being fairly evenly distributed across the whole party. That is, she doesn't work so well with a tank who is taunting or with enemy AI that focuses attacks on the weakest character (which I think is a thing some mobs do) -- McCoy is much better suited to those scenarios. I was able to get Crusher to work in story mode a bit with Geordi and a tank. If the tank is already behind cover, the tank can taunt and Geordi can put up new cover after the one in front of the tank breaks. This minimizes damage to the whole party. If the tank is not behind cover but two non-tank characters are, Geordi can cover the remaining non-tank character. In this case, the tank doesn't taunt and hopefully the enemies distribute their attacks roughly evenly. I think I should unlock another skill for Crusher, because otherwise she doesn't have much to do during the first couple of rounds other than weak attacks. A buffing skill would be great.

Hm... so I tried to give Crusher Sterilization field, but it takes TWO turns to activate, so that's not helpful.

God, every single one of Khan's animations is so Extra. I haven't seen the movie where he is the main antagonist so I have no idea how accurate this is, but it is so funny to me.

OMG I got Quark! I have no idea how to use him but I will find out once he's a bit more leveled up.

I love some of these alien planets featured in the story mode. The lighting and colors are so pretty!

Janeway is not bad to use in story mode, once I gave her Defense Pierce. It's not as good as Riker's (since it isn't available on turn 1) but it's a pretty beastly attack. I'm using Janeway with Seven of Nine and it works well for story mode because Seven of Nine's shielding ability will keep the party safe long enough for Janeway's demolishing attack to come out. In general, Seven of Nine's shielding ability is really good??

"Time to take out the trash!" -- I'm so glad they gave Janeway her super cheesy one-liners in this game.

Janeway is also quite a weird/situational character to use because her random attacks can really mess up a taunting strategy, and also sometimes distributing damage across multiple characters is actually useful, but also it can be pretty unreliable.

I'm using T'Pol and Seven of Nine together, which means I am halfway there to building my "badass women in unnecessary catsuits" squad. All I need is Deanna (not in this game) and Kira (currently too low power level, but maybe I should try to put her in because I'm curious) and it will be complete.

Update: Apparently Deanna is on her way 👀 And it's Commander Deanna too, so she's in her Starfleet uniform 👀👀

They made T'Pol a kick chick in this game. T'Pol's voice is too high-pitched, though. I feel it should be deeper/huskier, similar to Michael's.

Okay, playing with Kira now and I feel like they missed a chance to make her default attack feature her signature "elbow someone then clasp her hands together and wallop them upside the chin with both hands" thing she does. Making her do a one-two punch like a boxer is so weird. (Huh, apparently the double-fist punch is a thing Star Trek made up to look like a futuristic fighting style.)

I'm still trying to figure her (Kira) out. She's certainly speedy and good at dishing out a lot of damage to a single enemy, but she has trouble dealing with large mobs and has low health.

OMG Sulu's fighting style is utterly ridiculous and I love it. It's odd that there's no animation for his counter -- the enemy just mysteriously takes damage.

I've given Worf his counter ability and he's a beast with it. Has very "if I'm going down, I'm taking you all with me!" vibes.

Wow, Picard and Kirk both have a great set of skills. Picard's Attacker buff on turn 1 plus morale boost on turn 2 are great (probably not for PVP, though, because they come out too late). Kirk's morale + attack up on turn 1 are great for PVP pressure (but my Kirk is still too low level for me to put him in yet).

I've finally got enough characters high enough level to try to survive the later chapters of story mode. I was successful with a "Tech Buffing team" consisting of characters who buff and use the Tech stat primarily: Hugh Culber, Geordi, Borg Queen, plus B'Elanna (I could also use Sela instead, but I figured B'Elanna's turn 1 tech attack is more reliable and benefits from getting buffed beforehand).

I was also successful with a highly conservative "Defensive Morale team" consisting of Picard, Geordi, Martok, and I think Seven of Nine, probably? (Uhura is still too low-level to be put in but she would also be great for this.) By turn 3, everyone has so many shields and so much morale. Martok's turn 3 heal all skill is actually great for long-haul story battles. It doesn't heal that much (due to Martok's low Tech, I think) but it heals and cleanses everyone and it comes out at a time when that might be needed (as opposed to Crusher who has the heal/buff order reversed where she can heal immediately but can only buff later). And he's a good dedicated attacker the rest of the time.

I'm getting a bit better at PVP strategies. (Still using my "starter party with Odo" A Team for it.) Like, if I see Riker, I need to debuff him immediately with Burnham. Otherwise, if I see Geordi, Sela, or Seven of Nine behind cover, I need to break the cover immediately so that they can be taken down by Riker in turn 1, or they'll start causing a bunch of trouble. (Sela was nerfed recently! But she still can wreak havoc.)

[wheremytwinwatches]

[Where My Twin Watches]: Full Metal Alchemist Brotherhood Episode 38

Last time: Ed was super composed when talking to his crush, Granny Armstrong was here and gone before I knew it, and Selim stayed out past his bedtime. Onwards!

Riza gets back to her apartment, so shaken up over the Pride reveal that she starts at seeing eyes in the shadows, when it’s just her dog (does it have a name?). Yeesh, she has had a day, hasn’t she? The phone ringing suddenly doesn’t help her nerves, nor does Roy being cheesy and trying to pass off his mountain of flowers to her. Ocne he hears her little huff of stress he does a complete 180 and asks what’s wrong, but since we can’t know if Pride is listening she claims that she’s fine. Roy’s left standing in the phonebooth, glaring down at the silent headset in his hand. Huh, didn’t realize that Sideburns was still having to tag along with Kimblee, thought he’d stay at Briggs. Anyways, Kimblee and the Blondes have wound up at an abandoned mining town. Time to make like a cliched horror movie and split up! Two of Kimblee’s mooks are assigned to follow the Elrics. Episode 38 - “Conflict at Baschool” Now how to ditch the Mooks and the dozen other soldiers with them?

Eh. If it works, it works. They run off from the common soldiers but the Mooks are hot on their heels. Wait never mind they’re chasing them into the building too, they turn the wait what? Where did they… oh yeah, Ed’s an Earthbender. Ha! Nice job pulling up a wall that muffles Al’s heavy footsteps! Uuuunfortunately, while they’re on their own to search Baschool now, in the words of Ed “this place is too damn big”. How on earth are they supposed to find Scar and May in all of this? [Ed]: “If would make things a hell of a lot easier if Scar and that girl just came to us…” [May]: “Alphonse!” Well that was easy. Aw, she still has her huge crush on Al, he’s not helping with his talk about how they were trying to find her and he really needed to see her. Yup, she (and Shao May) are so deep in Crush Mode she can’t even hear him ask for Alkahestry lessons. Ed snaps her out of it by demanding lessons, she tries to let him down gently- wait, “let me out"? Uh oh. [Angry!May]: “Excuse me?! Who is this woman, Al? How could you do this to me?” Aw, sorry May. Don’t worry, you’ll find a guy some day. Hey, Marcoh! Hey… Yoki? Wait, has Ed actually ever met Yoki before now? Yoki sure seems to think they did… Ok, apparently this was a manga story, we’re getting a silent movie but the dialouge is in Japanese so I’ve got no idea what anyone’s saying. Apparently Yoki used to be mayor of a mining town, then Ed came in with a bunch of gold bars and… bought the title to the town? Now hold up, am I understanding that Ed Transmuted a bunch of coal to gold in order to trick Yoki into giving up the title, and then passing it on to the miners who then kicked Yoki out of town? How? Is there such a thing as temporary Transmutation? I thought the effects were always permanent? So after he got kicked out, Yoki went on to try and restore his fortunes through various trades (he failed in each one), “investing his savings” (the casino took the shirt off his back), and straight up trying to steal (from two GIANT women who could honestly give The Mighty Armstrong a run for his money in the muscles department, yikes), which led to him running into a young girl at a piano who… wait… OH MY LETO DID YOU REALLY TRY TO STEAL FROM THE ARMSTRONG MANOR?! HOW ARE YOU STILL ALIVE?!

After he somehow survived an Armstrong-propelled piano to the face, he ended up in the Ishvalan compound, where he would do the second-stupidest thing in his life trying to take Scar for a bounty, and he’s finally ended up here. So we’ve got a room where Yoki is ranting about his “epic vengeance”, Winry and Al are trying to calm down a heartbroken May, Ed’s still pushing for Alkahestry lessons, and Marcoh is probably wondering if he wasn’t better off with the Goths. So where’s Scar? Kimblee’s getting the news that Winry’s escaped her own minders, Sideburns volunteers to go look for her and takes command of two troops, brushing off Kimblee’s words. The Crimson Alchemist is left standing there, scowling after a proper leader. Eh, you got some good Manipulator points from last episode, but you’ve still got to make up for your pitiful train battle. Scar’s going through some cans and bottles for food when two of Kimblee’s Mooks show up and demand his surrender. What, you punks think you can take on The Killer of Alchemists? Oh! Apparently they’re chimeras, part boar and part toad respectively. Time to kick some monster butt, Scar! Mid-ep pictures of Yoki and the Chimeras (Zampano and Jerso). Yeah, I’m just gonna call you Boar and Toad. The Blondes and the Brunettes are sitting in a circle now, Ed explaining that he found out what Philosopher’s Stones are made of, and their new angle of researching Alkahestry. And what do you know, Marcoh’s got a book by someone who worked to combine the Transmutation disciplines. Ed’s not too happy to hear that they need Scar to break the code (what, you guys didn’t work on that between the cabin and this mining town?). Ah well, where is the Ishvalan, anyway? *boom* There he is! Ed and Al order the others to stay put and head his way. Toad is surprisingly fast for his bulk, dodging Scar’s HoDs and kicks while Boar launches spikes from his back. Also, Toad can spit goop. One drawback to Scar’s style, it’s entirely melee. The chimeras plan to just stick to ranged attacks to wear him down. Scar tries to run off to the side, but a spike cuts his arm and goop glues his hand to the ground. Oh no, if only there was someone on the way who could save him…

Da dada dah! Ed and Al are here to save the day! Al picks up on them being Kimblee’s goons from Central. Now, how to- “AAAAH! TALKING MONSTERS!” Hahahaha! Oh, that is priceless! Pretend to freak out over the inhuman beasts in the room that are “pretending to be your friends”, so you’ve got an excuse if they report back to Central. Toad tries to slime them but notes that Ed is faster than Scar… and grinning like a loon? Oh yeah, this is his first time fighting with his new automail, it’s lighter than the old set so he moves faster! Hits lighter though, Toad’s back up and spitting actual spit. Thanks for telling us what it is, now Ed can break it down to water and freeze your back! And throw his brother into the Toad? Oh, ouch! Metal Armor + Frozen Flesh = Bad Times. Whoop, Boar’s back up, yelling that he and Ed are on the same side. Oh yeah? Prove it! If you’re human then transform back and ahahaha! [Ed]: “Thanks for the opportunity, sucker!” Alright, one Chimera down, knock out the Toad and LETO! What the hell Al, did you just snap his neck?! Jeebus! Scar’s freed himself from the goop, good. Now we can all head back to the others and what. Ed, no. You were literally just told that you need him to decipher the journal and you’re both working against Central now, just tell him what you’ve learned and WHY. NO. YOU DO NOT NEED TO FIGHT. STOP IT. You want him to pay for what he’s done? Then get his help deciphering the journal, fix your bodies, then you can have a great big revenge brawl. Ok fine, whatever. Ed and Al charge him, you might wanna look out for the HoD or protect your arm… oh yeah, the new arm is an alloy, not steel. Just like when Ed tried disarming Buccy, Scar’s failure just means Ed’s close enough to kick him. But like his file says, when Scar’s in trouble he tends to wreck the ground, he bursts through the rubble to strike Ed- [Winry]: “Don’t hurt them!” Winry?! Ok while I appreciate the character development and the chance to confront your parents’ killer, did you leave the Brunettes? Scar’s distracted by her arrival, giving Ed and Al the chance to knock him down and secure his arm. Before she can talk to Scar though, Sideburns shows up. Hopefully Kimblee’s not too close behind. Sideburns orders “the ungodly experiments by our superiors” tied to a column (so they’re still alive?), approaches Scar wait what no don’t shoot him! We need him to break the code! Ed, Al, stop him! Winry? Hoo boy. Winry’s confronting Scar. [Winry]: “Why? Why did you kill my mother and father?” [Scar]: “...there’s nothing I can say that won’t sound like an excuse. And nothing can change the fact that I am responsible for their deaths. Wait, boom?! What? No! Ok ok, calm down, maybe this is another Ross Deception. Trick Kimblee into thinking that Scar is dead? Sparks and a flame show Buccy underground, still with the Tunnel Rescue Team and saying… uh oh. They’re over the 24 hours, and Armstrong the Great said they’d cover the entrance with concrete after that. Come on, don’t leave these guys stuck! They aren’t Alchemists, they’ll have to go back through the Pride-infested tunnel and find another way out! Well, Buccy tries knocking on the door anyways. Silence. Crap. Alright, back down- hey, it opened! It’s Tank Grandpa! Did you really defy Armstrong The Great’s orders? Nice knowing you, buddy. What do you mean, it hasn’t been 24 hours? I doubt that Buccy went on that mission with an improperly timed watch… unless he was given one, to ensure he got back on time? [Tank Grandpa]: *points to shattered pocketwatch* “It’s a nice watch, isn’t it? General Armstrong gave it to me whenever you guys left.” HA! Best General in the show by far. Sorry Grumman, you’ll have to settle for second. Armstrong the Great is hanging out on top of the fort when Buccy gives his report on two survivors. Apparently she’s outside to look at the mountains, admiring the simplicity of their black and white in the winter. Buccy must be feeling really damn confident right now because he argues that it’s not true, if she just looks up she can see the blue sky. [Buccy]: “There’s nothing that’s entirely black and white.” *MASSIVE SHIT-EATING GRIN* “And thanks for showing your soldiers a little mercy! It means a lot, sir.” [Armstrong the Great]: *smiles* “That’s nice, but I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

New Ship confirmed! Incoming convoy! Are Kimblee and the others coming back? Did they forget to pack lunch? Oh crap. Central’s already sent some forces to find out what happened to Raven. Explosions! Back in Baschool, Kimblee’s finally shown up to the building where everyone was fighting, sees Ed rush out through the smoke. [Ed]: “You bastard! This is all your fault Kimblee, you were supposed to be watching Winry!” Wait what? NO. Argh that’s Winry being carried by Scar no no how did he escape did May break him out why can none of these idiots just talk to each other?! Argh! Wait, hold on. There’s a bandage on his cut arm… Ha! Elaborate Ross Deception, go!

[aftermathdb]

Death Battle Review: Sora vs. Pit

Battle five of season five (or battle 92 overall (eight more episodes to go until battle 100!)) brightens up your day with two warriors of light duking it out to see which heart is more pure for their sacred weapon in this fight to the end.

This is a popular request. As it’s being done for the release of Kingdom Hearts this year, we have a fun battle coming ahead between these two warriors of light.

Sora′s Preview.

Sora’s preview opens up in the standard way. Going over the backstory, and what he did before he became a warrior. It really helps to sell how absurd that it is that Sora is part of both the Final Fantasy universe and the Disney universe. Let’s be real here, Kingdom Hearts is a crossover franchise that works out so well despite so much going against it. Though, it does bring up the question of how the scaling is going to work.

The keyblade also has its own card. Being about 3′6″ in length, it’s certainly no Dragonslayer, but it has a lot of powerful magic to give it a boost. And it can open any door? Heh, who needs lockpicking skills and tools when you can just have a keyblade, am I right? - It also seems to be able to act on Sora’s desires, even when he’s unconscious. Similar to Raven’s soul-self.

Oh, and evidently, Donald Duck and Goofy (friggin’ GOOFY!) are world-hopping warriors. Crazy, huh?

Sora’s magic also holds some stuff to be impressed by. Like healing, gliding, and the rest of your standard Final Fantasy magic. Including fire, ice, electricity, gravity and even… Stopga (Creative name there, Square).

They even compare his abilities to other Disney characters like Peter Pan, and Figment. Plus, the Kingdom Key also seems to act like Thor’s mystical hammer, Mjolnir (Hey. Disney owns Marvel. I can make the comparison).

And then they completely lose me with the whole “Somebody” “Nobody” thing, it gets confusing. I’m with Boomstick here, “I’m a somebody who’s really really confused.”

Judging by feats, Sora has speed, strength, and durability. And it also looks like he can join Link in the “Guys who defeated Cloud Strife” club.

As for weaknesses, it seems that he shares the same ones that Beast does. He relies a bit too much on his friends and allies to accomplish things, and as we all know: DEATH BATTLE bans outside help unless the other side gets something similar. Though, given that Pit can’t fly without aid from Palutena, I’d say that this should be fairly even.

That end line was cheesy as hell, but given that it’s Disney meets Final Fantasy, I can see it being appropriate.

Pit′s Preview.

And the Kid Icarus development hell is brought up fairly quickly. Pit’s backstory is interesting enough, he’s a commander, he leads an army, and we are definitely not talking about the one from Captain N.

Despite Pit being well-over 25 years of age, he still seems like he’s a teenager. This… is a bit disturbing because of how some media says that people are the age in the afterlife that they are when they died. Which means that Pit probably died young, if we’re talking in the sense that he was not born in Angel Land (Real creative naming there, Nintendo).

The background has another jab at the old Captain N cartoon, and adds that Pit thinks eating Ice Cream off the floor gives you health. Hey, that’s how most Video Games work, right? - It must be a nod to how he leans on the fourth wall.

We’re also faced with the logic that is “The captain of an angel army doesn’t have his own wings.” - Gameplay mechanics, am I right?

Pit’s signature weapon doesn’t get as big of a rundown as Sora’s keyblade, which is a bit disappointing. But it’s offset by the wide arsenal of weapons that he has. If anything, Sora has mystical versatility while Pit has weapon versatility.

The Three Sacred Treasures, on the other hand, do get the detail treatment. Going over them showcases a wide variety of power and ability. And showcasing the gold-colored Silver Armor makes the visuals all the more worth it. Though,I do have to question if they’re taking Smash into account.

The math done on the boulder is fairly extensive. But hitting with 1600 of TNT doesn’t really stack up to Sora taking a hit from someone who could toss around about 1600 tons of stone. And while moving over 21000 mph is impressive, it still doesn’t really stack to Sora deflecting lasers.

Yet again, Sora still seems to hold all the advantages here. At least, the ones that matter in a fight anyways. Even his fourth-wall awareness is addressed in a small card, where he doesn’t have a lot of control over what’s going on (At least the Aftermath writing office won’t be getting any new people in it. The space is crowded enough as it is).

For some reason, I feel as if Pit’s and Sora’s lines could be easily interchanged with each other, and nobody would notice. That’s how Pit’s line comes off as.

The Battle Itself.

Kervin Alcindor (Who assisted in Black Panther vs. Batman and Naruto vs. Ichigo, and was lead in the Raphael vs. Wolverine DBX) is teaming up with animation vet Samuel “Zack” Watkins (animator of Guts vs. Nightmare, Ryu vs. Scorpion, and Jotaro vs. Kenshiro). Sora will be getting the voice of Bryce Papenbrook, while Pit will be being voiced by Justin Briner. Discount Goofy is voiced by Nick. Music is called “Unlocking Heaven” by Brandon Yates, Sprites are done by HyperJerk and McLeod Gaming, and audio is done by Ben Tehrani (Apologies. I could not find a twitter credit).

So, the reason why the fight starts is because they’re in an arena. If anything, that’s the most likely reason for these two to fight to the death. Given Sora’s personality as well as Pit’s, the only other way these two would fight would be due to a hate plague or something. It certainly does keep both sides in-character enough until one of them escalates the fight.

Pit’s entrance even references his games, where he goes through a door of light to his next destination.

Pit opens the fight with his light arrows, and Sora easily dodges them. The fight seems to be in Sora’s favor, as he does still hold many advantages.

Pit does still hold the edge in weapon versatility, as his upperdash arm gives us a funny moment of slapstick on Sora’s face.

The fight gets taken to what can only be assumed to be Skyworld, as we see that Pit is the one who escalates the battle… Or maybe not. Pit compliments his opponent’s teleportation skills, and they both seem eager to see what the other side is capable of next.

The fight gets taken back to the arena after Sora uses his own magic to stop Pit’s airborne assault, and bring it back to the ground. Where Pit uses his Sacred Treasures. It’s at this point, that you get the distinct feeling that the fight is going to end soon.

Spoilers in 5…

4…

3…

2…

1…

Sora’s magic overpowers Pit’s Sacred Treasures. And Goofy kills the moment by saying “Atta boy, Sora!”

Verdict + Explanation.

First off: Thank goodness. If Pit had won, then there would be a bunch of comments saying that KH3 would have given him something to give him the edge.

As it turns out, Pit’s real advantages were his experience, and flight. While Sora held… Pretty much everything else.

Sora held the edge in speed thanks to that lightning feat, and since Pit has never shown any resistance to time manipulation effects, it seemed that he was out of luck there.

Pit’s arsenal gave him enough to hold out against Sora, but it wasn’t enough to put him down for good.

Essentially: Pit had the experience, they both had the light, but Sora had the strength, durability, and speed to come out on top.

The end quote is pretty lame though (Really? “the key to the fight”?  “A sora loser”? - that was the best you could come up with, Screwattack?).

Overall impression.

A very impressive 8.7/10. I feel that the visuals and music really help the fight. The dialogue makes everything pretty interesting, and the story makes it believable enough that, if this weren’t a fight to the death, these two would be friends. Some of the jokes work pretty well too, and we can even gather a good solid rating from me. While it might not be as visually impressive or destructive as stuff like Naruto vs. Ichigo or Hulk vs. Doomsday, it still holds up very well. And given that this was the first time both franchises had been brought in, I’d say that it was a good introductory for both of them.

Next Time…

Well, money on the table says that this fight might be a lot more close than we would give it credit for. I don’t really know a whole lot about these two, but it seems that DEATH BATTLE is keeping up with the trend of new franchises for this season.

Two zombie survivors. Who will survive? - Who will be zombie food? - I think we can all agree that…

The main character from Plants vs. Zombies could wreck both of these guys.

Is there a fight that you want me to review? - Send an ask/request, and I’ll look into it!

Do you want to read my fanfic based around DEATH BATTLE itself? click here!

Thank you for reading, and I hope to see you next time for…

……… I don’t have a clever quip about this one. So let’s go with “Inferior to PVZ gardener.”

[everythingisgreenandsubmarine]

"It" (2017) Review

SPOILERS FOR IT (2017) BELOW

It is a mammoth novel. At over 1100 pages, containing a huge assortment of characters, and spanning over 200 years of mythos, you can imagine just how hard this novel is to adapt. It's not just an issue of plot, it's an issue of time. While King has over 275,000 words to tell his story (the equivalent of a 4,500 hour film, if 1 script page is equivalent to one minute of film time) Andy Muschietti has given himself roughly four hours -- around 240 pages -- to adapt both halves of these novels.

The 1990 miniseries showed that this novel is both incredibly hard to adapt, and impossible to water down. While Tim Curry shines through, in that adaptation, as Pennywise, the rest of the film around him is rife with bad acting, poor writing, stilted dialogue, and cheesy effects. This miniseries covered the entirety of the novel, but even its three-hour runtime wasn't enough to effectively adapt King's story. Additionally, this adaptation avoided almost all of the violence, sexuality, and dark humor that made the novel unique, and memorable.

Andy Muchietti's It suffers, too, from this inability to capture the temporal expansiveness of King's novel. The first chapter of the film, clocking in at a little over two hours, covers the majority of the plot points contained in about half of King's novel. However, it fails to capture the depth, and the intricacies contained within those pages. Furthermore, its horror is executed in the most lazy, and frustrating, way: jump scares.

Let's begin with the writing, though.

This adaptation of It was originally written by Cary Fukunaga and Chase Palmer. Fukunaga was originally attached as writer/director for a long time. You may know Fukunaga from his directorial efforts on films like Beasts of No Nation and Sin Nombre, along with his directing work on the first season of the HBO show True Detective.

Fukunaga was fired from the project after it had been mired in development Hell for quite some time. After being fired, he shared some details about why he was given the boot, and what the producers wanted his film to be.

"I was trying to make an unconventional horror film. It didn’t fit into the algorithm of what they knew they could spend and make money back on based on not offending their standard genre audience. Our budget was perfectly fine. We were always hovering at the $32 million mark, which was their budget. It was the creative that we were really battling. It was two movies. They didn’t care about that. In the first movie, what I was trying to do was an elevated horror film with actual characters. They didn’t want any characters. They wanted archetypes and scares. I wrote the script. They wanted me to make a much more inoffensive, conventional script. But I don’t think you can do proper Stephen King and make it inoffensive. The main difference was making Pennywise more than just the clown. After 30 years of villains that could read the emotional minds of characters and scare them, trying to find really sadistic and intelligent ways he scares children, and also the children had real lives prior to being scared. And all that character work takes time. It’s a slow build, but it’s worth it, especially by the second film. But definitely even in the first film, it pays off. It was being rejected. Every little thing was being rejected and asked for changes. Our conversations weren’t dramatic. It was just quietly acrimonious. We didn’t want to make the same movie. We’d already spent millions on pre-production. I certainly did not want to make a movie where I was being micro-managed all the way through production, so I couldn’t be free to actually make something good for them. I never desire to screw something up. I desire to make something as good as possible. We invested years and so much anecdotal storytelling in it. Chase and I both put our childhood in that story. So our biggest fear was they were going to take our script and bastardize it. So I’m actually thankful that they are going to rewrite the script. I wouldn’t want them to stealing our childhood memories and using that. I mean, I’m not sure if the fans would have liked what I would had done. I was honoring King’s spirit of it, but I needed to update it. King saw an earlier draft and liked it."  -- Cary Fukunaga

Ultimately, Fukunaga and his producers were trying to make two different films: Fukunaga wanted to make something akin to The Shining, or Rosemary's Baby, whereas his producers wanted him to make the next Conjuring film.

When Fukunaga was booted from the project, the producers hired writer Gary Dauberman (writer of Annabelle and Wolves at the Door) to make extensive changes to Fukunaga and Palmer's script. They also hired Andy Muschietti, writer/director of the 2013 film, Mama, to replace Fukunaga in the director's chair.

Sadly, what Fukunaga divulged in that interview is completely true. While some elements of his script has been kept, much of it was re-written to fit Muschietti's vision (which, in turn, fit Hollywood's vision). By this I mean to say that Muschietti's It is full of poor dialogue, jump scares, and very flat characters.

Part of this stems from what I mentioned above -- trying to adapt a huge novel into a relatively short script. Supporting characters, like Henry Bowers, or Beverly Marsh's father, are fleshed out in the novel, and given compelling backstories. In the film, they are defined by very rigid, and thin motivations. Henry Bowers, for instance, is a bully because his father is a violent drunk. That's it. That is the entire motivation behind this bully's extremely violent, and destructive tendencies. Beverly Marsh's father has no motivation, nor any backstory. He's just a looming, abusive figure that is shrouded in darkness.

The real issue with the writing of this film, though, is the depiction of Pennywise the Clown. Obviously this character is essential to the novel, and to the overall story.

Bill Skarsgård is fine as Pennywise, though he is very forgettable. His performance can be summed up as "forced" -- a combination of whisper-talking, and overacting. Pennywise's horrific actions are augmented by poor CGI, which takes away from both the character, and the Skarsgård's performance.

Furthermore, this Pennywise never feels like an organic part of the story. Pennywise is an old entity, spanning well beyond the lifespan of the children. Yet we never get a feeling for that age beyond some vague dialogue which speaks to it. Furthermore, because of all of the jump scares, Pennywise never feels scary. In fact, all of the scares in the film feel very forced, and inorganic to the atmosphere Muschietti attempts to set up.

The main cast is good, though, and they are the saving grace of the film. While Pennywise, and the fear surrounding him, feel inorganic and forced, the interactions and chemistry between the core characters is strong. They are funny, endearing, and realistic. 

The real standout performance in this film comes from Finn Wolfhard, who plays Richie Tozier. Carrying the majority of the comedic relief on his shoulders, Wolfhard is able to punctuate each scene he's in with authenticity and endearing realism. 

The rest of the cast works well, even if they don't quite fit the character descriptions we remember from the novel. In this respect, while they may not replicate the characters we have envisioned, they certainly embody them. The performances are all solid.

In fact, ironically enough, the younger performances are much better than their adult counterparts. Part of this could be from the shallow writing, or the stilted dialogue the adults are often stuck with, but it is worth mentioning.

The real issue with this film comes from the jump scares, though. Jump scares, by themselves, are not inherently evil. They are most certainly lazy, but they aren't the worst thing ever. A horror film can still be very good if it has a couple of jump scares in it. However, like many other things in the filmmaking world, less is more. 

Muschietti does not abide by this adage, as everything from Pennywise's interaction with Georgie to the climactic third act are rife with forced jump scares, grating musical cues, and dramatic lighting. 

That first interaction with Georgie helps set up the entire film, both in terms of tone, and in terms of scares. The script has jarring shifts in tone, which are best exemplified by Georgie chasing his boat down the street happily, running into a road block, and then meeting Pennywise. In a matter of a minute or two, we change the entire tone of the film three times, and without warning. This happens throughout the film continually, with varying degrees of success (blending horror and comedy can work, it just depends on how you do it).

My opinion of Skarsgård's performance is complicated, and this scene perfectly encapsulates why. There are fleeting moments where he captures the essence of Pennywise as a character -- this lure for children that is used so he can feed -- and there are moments where he feels like he is trying to be scary (which, as we all know, generally doesn't work; just like when someone is trying to be funny, it comes off as forced).

Skarsgård oscillates between these two positions frequently throughout the film. When he releases some balloons to reveal his face to one of our core characters, it feels forced. It's supposed to be scary, but it isn't. When he is playfully tortures Eddie, who has broken his arm, he inhabits the comedic, and terrifying, nature of Pennywise as a character. I don't know how much of this is Skarsgård's performance, and how much of it is the writing, but Skarsgård as Pennywise is wildly inconsistent, to say the least.

I guess those are the two terms I would use to best illustrate my feelings about this film: forced, and inconsistent.

None of this is to say that the film is unwatchable -- if you don't mind jump scare horror, similar to what James Wan provides (though Muschietti is not nearly as skillful as Wan when it comes to delivering said type of horror), then you will probably like this film. 

However, from my perspective, as a filmmaker and a film lover, Muschietti's It is the kind of film that exudes all of the issues the horror genre currently has. It's full of forced scares, and light on depth and characterization. That doesn't mean it can't be enjoyed, nor does that mean it's devoid of any quality; it just means that, as an adaptation of its excellent source material, and as a film, it fails in a number of capacities.

[rawinternets]

Star Wars Episode 6: A rediscovery.

I’ve now reviewed Rogue One, Ep4, Ep5, all three prequels. It’s finally time to get back to the good stuff - Return of the Jedi. ROTJ is often cited as most people’s favorite from their childhood, but not necessarily on re-watch. Why? I was pretty sure I knew: it’s the shameless commercialism of the Ewoks, the derivative plotlines (another Death Star! More sneaking around Empire bases!) and so on. But truly, this movie is also very enjoyable. 

Upon re-reading my notes - there are far less of them, I think because I was actually into the movie again instead of analyzing everything. With Episode 1 and 2′s terrible dialogue and wooden acting and annoying plotlines, my brain was whizzing about, trying to understand just how these movies could be so bad. With Ep3, I felt myself analyzing how this film somehow *was* landing, and why it was different than the first two. With ROTJ, I got back to losing myself in the story, even though I was trying to remain conscious of the task at hand. 

While there are a couple lows (the Ewoks are mediocre at best as an adult-viewer, and George Lucas makes an inexcusable CGI addition to Jabba’s palace...), all in all this movie really fires. And what’s more - some of the most enthralling scenes in the entirety of the series occur here, and they don’t all include fighting and violence. I’m talking about the Emperor turning Luke. This is where the R1-4-5-1-2-3-6 order really works... we go from watching the Emperor turn Anakin in Ep3 right into the Emperor back at his old tricks with Luke. In both movies, the mind games and manipulation are really well done. I had many “Holy Shit!” 10-scene moments throughout ROTJ, mostly around the throne room, but prior to the climactic Vader redemption scene (which, surprisingly, was just OK). 

In fact, although this movie didn’t grade quite as high as Ep4 and Ep5, it has by far the most “10″ scenes, all of them (except “It’s a Trap!”) involving Luke and the Emperor in the build-up to the climax, when things are looking so grim for the rebellion and for Luke. Sure, I suppose I could have lumped more of these together, but each is so powerful on its own that I felt in the moment they deserved their own line items. 

Onto the scores. 

Average Score: 7.90 Standard deviation: 1.91

Scroll. 8. To the point and does the trick. 

Death Star and Vader. 9.  Beautiful new shot, with Death Star and Star Destroyer. The empire space visuals are so consistently amazing in this series. Great angry vader: “The Emperor does not share your optimism.” Great music. Great punchy scene.

Jabba’s Castle. 7. The big door is cool - C3PO sucks as always. Cool little eye in the peephole, and the big door opens. Pig guards are George Lucas trying too hard. Jabba is a pretty cool character. Luke wants to barter with him, there’s a little rat character that is fine, Solo is a wall decoration, and C3PO sucks again. Fine set of scenes. 

Jabba’s band. 1. George Lucas strikes again. He inserts a fully-CGI alien band, looking like a drunk person’s recollection of alien muppets, singing in a language that sounds like scat-man as a toddler. So unnecessary. Also, Jabba is rapey. 

Rancor eats a chick, Chewbacca, Lando in disguise. 6. I remember loving this whole Jabba sequence as a kid but it’s not really landing right now. The bounty hunter is Leia? Couldn’t they have sent someone less important? Han getting re-warmed is a cool visual. 

Han woken up. 6. Still can’t buy that they’d send Leia to rescue Han. Han’s blindness is kinda lame and the jokes are too. The Jabba sidekicks are also lame. Not loving this. 

Luke and the Rancor. 8. Luke falls into the Rancor pit and tries Jedi shit and it doesn’t work. But he’s clever and kills the Rancor. Pretty good job, pretty good scene. My roommate likes the crying monster. 

Sarlacc pit & Jabba’s ship. 6-8. Cool desert beasts, really cool desert ship. R2 as a cocktail waiter is funny. Luke: “Free us, or die.” And R2 shoots the lightsaber to Luke and the fighting begins. Lando cliffhangs, Boba Fett vs. Luke is cool, and Boba Fett dies an ignominious death (apparently in canon he actually survives). All in all, it’s a bit hokey and prequel-like, so I assume George had his grubby hands in here. Leia strangles Jabba, Luke flails away with the lightsaber looking really badly trained (in great contrast to the expertise of Ep3), and Lando kind of gets saved from the Sarlacc pit with a rifle. Some 6, some 8, hard to disentangle from my memories of the scene.

Emperor arrives at the Death Star. 9. Incredibly beautiful shots, great heft and foreshadowing. 

Yoda dies. 9.  “When 900 years old you reach, look as good, you will not.” Great line. Love Yoda - this version, not the Shaun-White-Parkour-Tasmanian-Devil lightsaber version. He tells Luke he’s not a Jedi yet, that he must face Vader. Not ready for the burden! Rushed to face him! Luke made a mistake! “Jedi strength flows from the force. Beware anger, fear, aggression. Dark side. Once you start down that path, forever will it dominate your destiny. Luke. Don't underestimate the Emperor.” Very good stuff from Yoda all around. And this part: there is another Skywalker!!! (but it never matters?) 

Obi-wan force ghost. 9. “Why didn’t you tell me?” “Vader did kill your father... from a certain point of view.” Luke must face Vader again, but Luke won’t... “Then the Emperor has already won.” And then of course... It’s Leia. 

Attack Prep. 7. “Many Bothans died to bring us this information.” I thought that line inspired Rogue One, but apparently not. Here we are again... a Death Star and a small crack team preparing to take it down. 

Emperor Confident. 8. Just another great punchy scene. 

Shuttle Tiberium. 9. Sneaking onto Endor to disable the DS’s shield... and we’re just like Rogue One again with the access codes. Vader on his Super Star Destroyer senses something... Good Chewy and Han tension. But Luke knows he’s endangering the mission. Vader is such a badass. 

Endor/Speeders. 9. The first thing I wrote for this scene was “C3PO SHUT THE F*** UP” but notwithstanding that outburst, this unique, gripping, and beautiful scene gets a great score. The Redwoods are recognizable to Northern Californians but few others, and as in real life, they are majestic and mysterious on film here. Amazing sound effects. The tension of possibly being outed by a patrolman is very high. Luke cuts off the front of a speeder with the lightsaber... so sweet. 

First Ewok. 8. Contrary to what you might remember, the Ewoks do not always suck. The first teddybear that finds Leia is kind of menacing. They avoid capture and make friends but it’s a pretty good scene. 

Vader and Emperor. 9. The Emperor is so damn badass.

Caught in Ewok trap. 5. More George Lucas Hijinx! Hokey. OK with Ewoks, not OK with C3PO becoming their God. 

In the Ewok village. 4. C3PO on the throne. Luke does force stuff. R2 shocks an Ewok and he does a stupid jump. Meh. 

C3PO telling Ewoks a story. 4. I guess the power of a story? They get help from the Ewoks. meh. 

Luke and Leia. 7. Luke has to face him. Decent scene between the two. 

Vader lands on Endor. 9. Beautiful shots here. Vader and Luke interaction. Search your feelings (again). "It is too late for me, son." Vulnerability there. A bit of foreshadowing. I like!

Shield generator attack begins. 7.  A little cheesy that the Ewok grabs the speeder and we do the chasing again, but I guess it serves the plot.

The rebel forces amass. 9. The rebel fleet is amazing. Very pretty. In retrospect (fore-spect?) the heterogeneous fleet reminds of Battlestar Galactica. 

Luke meets the Emperor. 10. Shit! Things sound very bad! 

Shield Generator Fail. 8. Uh oh! 

It’s a Trap! 10.  This all happens so fast, last two scenes and then this. Great music, great twist moment. Totally unforeseen. Admiral Ackbar gets his moment and forever becomes an internet meme and a real world reference. This space battle is intense.

Emperor turning Luke. 10.  Emperor seems to have all the cards. "it is your destiny."

Ewok's revenge. 7.  Mmmmmm. Actually not as bad as I remember because the Ewoks are a bit dangerous, even if primitive. OK, some dumb shit. Swinging ropes like tarzan, flying around with wings and dropping rocks. Self-hitting. Decent physical humor but also meh. Decent job with the emotional Ewok friends death.

Fully operational! 10.  Fuuuuuck! The Emperor is smart! Shit! Scene is a 9, but gets a 10 because of importance.

Luke tries to kill emperor. 10. Such a mindfuck. Pretty amazing.

End of the endor battle. 7. Meh. It’s fine. 

Luke and Darth fight. 10.  Let the hate flow through you.

Luke and Darth fight 2. 10.  Luke tries to hide and not fight.  "Your thoughts betray you. Sister! Twin sister. You have betrayed her too.” Stilted dialogue. Luke's love for Leia gives him power. Very much like Darth in the prequels. Darth’s hand cutoff. Fantastic music. Emperor: “Your hate has made you powerful. Fulfill your destiny.” He thinks back to his own hand destroyed and how he is like his father. Really great storytelling.

Attack on the death star. 8.  These visuals are really cool. But it’s a bit ridiculous to fly through the Death Star with a ship as big as the Millennium Falcon. I mean, the first DS was destroyed by a torpedo going down a tube not more than a meter wide... why would they engineer this thing to have a corridor wide enough for fighters to fly through, and right to the core reactor which will blow the entire thing up? 

Darth turns back. 9. It’s such a big moment, but is it actually well done? Emperor: "you will pay the price for your lack of vision." "Noooooo!" Hmmmm. it was great but it wasn't a 10. A bit hokey on the script. Why not cut the Emperor in half with a lightsaber? We’ve seen Jedi defy gravity before, why not assume he will survive? 

Anakin dies. Luke escapes. 8. “Take off the mask. you already saved me. Tell your sister you were right.” Great musical choices.

Han and Leia kiss. 7. Meh, it’s fine. 

Celebrations. 9. Good reunions and happy stuff. A bit cheesy but pretty good. 

Anakin/Darth funeral. 9. Pretty emotional. Pretty good. 

Credits. 7. WTF with this music choice. 

VERDICT: Things that will stick with me include: speeders, Emperor, and the Sarlacc pit. Speeders and Emperor are just awesome. Sarlacc pit was fine but memorable. This movie is entertaining, and yet, the most blockbuster-y of the original three, and that doesn’t sit as well with me at the end. But did I enjoy it? Surely and absolutely, yes, I did. ROTJ has far and away the most amounts of 9′s and 10′s of any of the films... only a few missteps keep it from being crowned as the best film in the franchise. 

REVIEW LINKS:

Introduction: Star Wars, a rediscovery.

Rogue One: 6.92 / 10.00 (stdev 2.06).

Episode 4: A New Hope. 8.00 / 10.00 (stdev 1.34).

Episode 5: The Empire Strikes Back. 8.00 / 10.00 (stdev 1.29).

Episode 1: The Phantom Menace. 5.00 / 10.00 (stdev 2.08). But probably worse than that, actually.

Episode 2: Attack of the Clones. 5.48 / 10.00 (stdev 2.07).

Episode 3: Revenge of the Sith. 7.00 / 10.00 (stdev 1.77).

Episode 6: Return of the Jedi. 7.90 / 10.00 (stdev 1.91).

Episode 7: The Force Awakens. 6.57 / 10.00 (stdev 2.01).

Episode 8: The Last Jedi. 6.31 / 10.00 (stdev 1.89).

Verdict: Star Wars, A rediscovery.